Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This one has had an interesting build with the Royal Rumble itself only getting a quick build a the end. That being said, this is the kind of show that doesn’t really need to have anything set up for the main event to work, so it actually works for a change. We also have Batista defending the Smackdown Title against Mr. Kennedy and John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga in a Last Man Standing match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Rumble itself, including some classic winners. This year’s card gets some attention of its own.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is here with MNM (hence why it isn’t NM or MN) and this is about revenge after Matt Hardy destroyed Joey Mercury’s nose at Armageddon. An early Mercury distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot on Matt and the alternating beatdown is on in the corner. Matt isn’t having any of that and comes back to bring Jeff in. Nitro kicks him down as well but it’s an atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs to give Jeff two.

Mercury tries to come in but gets suplexed down but Nitro gets in a right hand to Matt’s jaw to take over. The cravats holds Matt in place and Mercury adds a shot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock from Mercury but he misses a middle rope elbow. That’s enough to bring Jeff back in to pick up the pace, including the Whisper in the Wind for two on Nitro. A double suplex puts Nitro down to set up the legdrop/splash combo, but the raised knees put Jeff in trouble.

The waistlock holds Jeff down and a double gutbuster makes it even worse. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors with a chinlock before switching to a front facelock. Jeff manages to fight over, but, of course, the referee doesn’t see the tag (it’s amazing how consistently inconsistent these referees can be). Back up and Jeff manages the mule kick to bring Matt in for the real house cleaning. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two on Nitro as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate hits Nitro and, with Matt driving Mercury outside, the Swanton gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid tag match here and that shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there. They didn’t do anything overly complicated or flashy here but what mattered was they did things well enough to make it work.

Teddy Long and Jonathan Coachman are in the back to keep an eye on the Royal Rumble drawings with Kelly Kelly there to turn the tumbler. Edge comes in to mock her a bit but here’s Randy Orton to say he tossed Edge over the top last week. They both draw and Orton says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” King Booker comes in to tell Orton to say he didn’t just say that. Eh kind of funny.

Video on Test, who lost to Bobby Lashley on ECW in a non-title match.

ECW World Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and this doesn’t make sense after watching ECW either. Test powers him into the corner to start so Lashley hits a spear, sending Test straight to the ropes for some safety. A t-bone suplex sends Test outside where he manages to post Lashley to take over. Back in and we hit the chickenwing, followed by an armbar to stay on the bad arm. Lashley tries to fight up for the comeback but the arm gives out on the gorilla press attempt. The TKO is countered though and an overhead belly to belly suplex sends Test flying. It’s enough to make Test walk out for the countout.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse power matches but we just went from Lashley beating him clean on ECW to winning via countout here. I’m not sure what is next for Lashley, but this was quite the waste of time. They really can’t have Lashley pin Test twice in a week? Test has to be even remotely protected on this stage?

Lashley beats Test up again post match.

John Cena is banged up when Vince McMahon comes in to mock him for having an abdominal injury. Cena won’t vacate the title, but Vince can’t see him….as champion after tonight.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Kennedy won a Beat The Clock Challenge to win the title shot, but he has also made Undertaker want to kill him. Kennedy has beaten a bunch of World Champions so now it’s time to become one himself.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is challenging and gets thrown down a few times to start. That’s broken up in a hurry as Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. Batista’s suplex gets two and it’s already time to head outside. Kennedy sends him back first into the steps but Batista is right back inside with some shots to the face. We go intelligent with Kennedy attacking the knee to slow Batista down. There’s a cannonball down onto the knee for two, setting up something like a reverse Figure Four.

The rope is grabbed and Kennedy’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Another kick to the leg gets two and Kennedy grabs a half crab. Batista powers out and snaps off the spinebuster, only to bang up the knee even more. The Batista Bomb is countered with another shot to the knee, causing Batista to bump the referee. Kennedy hits a DDT a delayed two so frustration sets in. That’s enough for Kennedy to go up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. Now the Batista Bomb can retain the title.

Rating: C. This felt like a house show main event and that isn’t the worst thing. Kennedy is someone who is going to steal most of the wins he gets and it would be a bit much to believe that he is going to beat Batista in a straight match. The leg thing was fine and the match wasn’t bad, but it was the definition of the Royal Rumble throwaway title shot.

Batista poses for a good bit.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn think their Royal Rumble number is in the cards. The Leprechaun comes in and growls a lot while picking. Coach hopes it isn’t a small number and gets bitten n the ear. Then the Leprechaun meets Great Khali and runs off, leaving Khali to draw three numbers. Kelly picks up the two that Khali drops and Ron Simmons comes in for the joke.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena gave him his first loss in a miracle win at New Year’s Revolution so now it’s a Last Man Standing match so Cena can’t escape with a win. Umaga crushed Cena’s ribs on Raw so Cena is very banged up coming in.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is challenging and this is Last Man Standing. They stare each other down to start and Cena slugs away to little avail. Instead it’s a shot to the bad ribs to put Cena down on the floor as the beating begins. Cena is sent hard into the steps and Umaga shrugs off being rammed face first into the apron. Back in and Umaga hits him with a heck of a clothesline and it’s time to bring in the steps as Cena pulls himself up.

Somehow Cena manages to pick the tosses them down onto Umaga for a nasty/scary crash. A bearhug into a belly to belly lets Umaga grab more steps, which are stood up in the corner. The running Umaga attack only hits steps though and Cena hits him in the face with the steps for a seven. Cena’s high crossbody is countered into the spinning release Rock Bottom and Umaga goes simple by sitting on his chest.

Another attempt is countered with some raised knees though and Cena plants him onto the steps for a breather. The Shuffle, with Umaga still on the steps, connects but an FU attempt collapses with both of them landing on the steps. Cena is busted open so Umaga hammers away, triggering whatever Cena calls Hulking Up. Since Umaga isn’t an 80s monster, he grabs a Samoan drop to plant Cena again. The Samoan Spike is blocked so Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe.

The running headbutt misses though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser. One heck of a TV monitor shot to the head gives Cena eight so he knocks Umaga outside. That’s fine with Umaga, who posts Cena hard. With Cena laid down on the ECW announcers’ table, Umaga gets a running start and splashes….well only the table actually. Umaga is back up at nine and runs Cena over again as Estrada unhooks the top rope. A charging turnbuckle shot gets countered into an FU and Cena grabs the STFU with the rope wrapped around Umaga’s throat to put him out and retain.

Rating: A-. This is a heck of a fight and an underrated Cena classic. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a mixture of Cena fighting with power, surviving until he had an opening and then getting smart. I liked this a lot and it’s definitely worth a look if you want to see two big, strong men fighting each other for a long time in one of the better Last Man Standing matches.

Sandman has a beer and picks one of the last two numbers. Ric Flair comes in, picks the last number, and gets hit on by Kelly Kelly. The rest of Extreme Expose comes in and dances with Flair…who leaves so the three of them can dance by themselves.

History package on the Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (Flair was in five Rumbles and entered #1 twice, #3, #5 and #30. That is downright amazing luck) and Finlay in at #2 for a match which would only happen once in a singles match. Finlay shoulders him down to start and shrugs off some shots to the face to set up a backdrop. It’s too early to toss Flair out so he strikes away until Kenny Dykstra is in at #3. That means a double teaming on Flair but the alliance lasts all of five seconds (a long time in the Rumble) and everyone brawls again.

Matt Hardy is in at #4 to go after Dykstra before switching off to Finlay. Edge is in at #5 to pick up the pace but gets taken down in a hurry. Flair goes for some chairs for the sake of revenge but gets tossed out by Edge. Dykstra is out as well and it’s Tommy Dreamer in at #6. Matt can’t get rid of Edge and Dreamer can’t get rid of Finlay either. Sabu is in at #7 and goes for a table instead of getting inside. He finally does get in for a springboard tornado DDT to Dreamer as Gregory Helms (and his song says so) is in at #8. Helms almost eliminates Hardy and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Hardy has to avoid being sent through the table at ringside before trying to do the same to Benjamin. Kane is in at #10 and gets rid of Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through a table. With the two of them gone, we have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. CM Punk is in at #11 and goes after Edge to little avail thanks to a save from Finlay. King Booker is in at #12 and Helms is tossed out in a hurry. Brawling ensues and it’s Super Crazy in at #13.

Kane starts cleaning house again and Booker teases throwing Finlay out, with Finlay circling back to the middle of the ring in a smart move. Jeff Hardy is in at #14 so the Hardys get together for some shots on various people. Poetry In Motion hits Kane and it’s the Sandman in at #15. The entrance takes a good while and the cane shots about….until Booker tosses him in less than fifteen seconds. Randy Orton is in at #16 and I think we have a focal point of the match.

Rated-RKO get rid of Crazy and then toss the Hardys without much trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #17 and it’s time to German suplex a bunch of people. Rob Van Dam is in at #18 as the star power is pretty high at the moment. Van Dam kicks Booker in the face and Kane tosses him out, only to have Booker come back in and toss Kane as well. Cole: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” Speaking of ridiculous, Viscera is in at #19 as JBL and Cole argue about Booker coming back in to toss Kane.

Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. Benoit gets Benjamin about as close to out as you can but he hangs on by just part of one foot. Kevin Thorn is in at #21 and it’s more mindless brawling. Hardcore Holly is in at #22 as the ring is way too full. Everyone goes after Viscera and Shawn Michaels (the hometown boy) is in at #23 to knock Finlay out.

Everyone gets together to toss Viscera and Shawn dumps Benjamin as well. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit knocks Nitro out. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 as Benoit gets rid of Thorn. Van Dam goes up, looks around for someone to kick, and then gets back down. MVP is in at #26 and is promptly double teamed by Benoit and Michaels. Van Dam dropkicks Masters out and it’s Carlito in at #27, with Cole explaining the lucky history.

Some double teaming can’t get rid of Shawn and it’s Great Khali in at #28. Everyone gets ready for him and they are all knocked down, with only Holly being tossed. Miz is in at #29 (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) and is out in about three seconds. Khali gets rid of Van Dam and Punk too, followed by Carlito and Guerrero. Shawn gets up to try Khali and is double chokeslammed down. Khali is the only one standing….and it’s the Undertaker in at #30 as the fans are WAY into it again. That leaves us with Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Undertaker.

The showdown is on with Undertaker winning a slugout and clotheslining Khali out to get us down to five. Old School (one of the dumbest things you can do in the Rumble) hits MVP and he is gone too, but he hands Orton a chair to blast Undertaker. Edge teases a spear to Orton but the chair scares him off. An RKO to Shawn puts him underneath the bottom rope so it’s time to double team the busted open Undertaker. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker hits the running corner clotheslines and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot to Edge.

Orton gets caught in the chokeslam with Edge breaking it up with a spear. Another chair shot to the head cuts Undertaker down so it’s time for the Conchairto. Shawn is back up though and backdrops Orton out, followed by a superkick to Edge to get us down to two. They’re both down so Undertaker sits up and Shawn nips up for an awesome visual as you can feel this one. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved away twice. Now it’s Undertaker’s turn to unload in the corner, setting up the upside down whip into the corner.

The big boot misses and Undertaker falls to the apron. Shawn’s running charge is cut off by an elbow and Undertaker gets back in, where Shawn catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Cole calls them perhaps the two biggest stars in the history of WWE and I’ll ignore that one because this is pretty awesome. Undertaker lifts him out to the apron but Shawn goes up top, only to get punched in the face.

For some reason Undertaker goes up with him until Shawn knocks him back down. The top rope elbow hits Undertaker again but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam. Shawn slips off the shoulder though and now Sweet Chin Music can connect to put both of them down. Another Sweet Chin Music is loaded up (ala how Shawn eliminated Diesel in 1996) but Undertaker ducks him to toss Shawn and win, making him the first #30 entrant to pull it off.

Rating: B-. The ending alone is enough to make this worth seeing as it’s probably the best ending ever to a Rumble. Other than that, you had a feeling where a lot of people could win and that’s one of the keys to a good Rumble. What isn’t a key to a good one is having that many people in the ring at once, which was the case multiple times here. The problem is getting to the ending, but that is some straight magic between two people who knew how to crank up the drama. You could go back and forth on the winner, but I’m a sucker for that final pairing.

Shawn looks crushed (and the fans seem to be as well) as Undertaker poses a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Much like the Rumble itself, the last part of the show (in this case the last two matches) are enough to make the show work, plus a rather good tag match and a watchable Kennedy vs. Batista match. The one part lacking is Lashley vs. Test, with all seven minutes of it being pretty bad. This was a rather good show, with a Cena vs. Umaga being an underrated classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Royal Rumble 2007
Date: January 28, 2007
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, Michael Cole, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This one has had an interesting build with the Royal Rumble itself only getting a quick build a the end. That being said, this is the kind of show that doesn’t really need to have anything set up for the main event to work, so it actually works for a change. We also have Batista defending the Smackdown Title against Mr. Kennedy and John Cena defending the Raw World Title against Umaga in a Last Man Standing match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the history of the Rumble itself, including some classic winners. This year’s card gets some attention of its own.

Hardys vs. MNM

Melina is here with MNM (hence why it isn’t NM or MN) and this is about revenge after Matt Hardy destroyed Joey Mercury’s nose at Armageddon. An early Mercury distraction lets Nitro get in a cheap shot on Matt and the alternating beatdown is on in the corner. Matt isn’t having any of that and comes back to bring Jeff in. Nitro kicks him down as well but it’s an atomic drop into the legdrop between the legs to give Jeff two.

Mercury tries to come in but gets suplexed down but Nitro gets in a right hand to Matt’s jaw to take over. The cravats holds Matt in place and Mercury adds a shot to the face for two. We hit the chinlock from Mercury but he misses a middle rope elbow. That’s enough to bring Jeff back in to pick up the pace, including the Whisper in the Wind for two on Nitro. A double suplex puts Nitro down to set up the legdrop/splash combo, but the raised knees put Jeff in trouble.

The waistlock holds Jeff down and a double gutbuster makes it even worse. Nitro grabs a bodyscissors with a chinlock before switching to a front facelock. Jeff manages to fight over, but, of course, the referee doesn’t see the tag (it’s amazing how consistently inconsistent these referees can be). Back up and Jeff manages the mule kick to bring Matt in for the real house cleaning. A middle rope elbow to the back of the head gets two on Nitro as everything breaks down. The Twist of Fate hits Nitro and, with Matt driving Mercury outside, the Swanton gives Jeff the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid tag match here and that shouldn’t be a surprise given who was in there. They didn’t do anything overly complicated or flashy here but what mattered was they did things well enough to make it work.

Teddy Long and Jonathan Coachman are in the back to keep an eye on the Royal Rumble drawings with Kelly Kelly there to turn the tumbler. Edge comes in to mock her a bit but here’s Randy Orton to say he tossed Edge over the top last week. They both draw and Orton says “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” King Booker comes in to tell Orton to say he didn’t just say that. Eh kind of funny.

Video on Test, who lost to Bobby Lashley on ECW in a non-title match.

ECW World Title: Test vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and this doesn’t make sense after watching ECW either. Test powers him into the corner to start so Lashley hits a spear, sending Test straight to the ropes for some safety. A t-bone suplex sends Test outside where he manages to post Lashley to take over. Back in and we hit the chickenwing, followed by an armbar to stay on the bad arm. Lashley tries to fight up for the comeback but the arm gives out on the gorilla press attempt. The TKO is countered though and an overhead belly to belly suplex sends Test flying. It’s enough to make Test walk out for the countout.

Rating: D. I’ve seen worse power matches but we just went from Lashley beating him clean on ECW to winning via countout here. I’m not sure what is next for Lashley, but this was quite the waste of time. They really can’t have Lashley pin Test twice in a week? Test has to be even remotely protected on this stage?

Lashley beats Test up again post match.

John Cena is banged up when Vince McMahon comes in to mock him for having an abdominal injury. Cena won’t vacate the title, but Vince can’t see him….as champion after tonight.

We recap Mr. Kennedy vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Kennedy won a Beat The Clock Challenge to win the title shot, but he has also made Undertaker want to kill him. Kennedy has beaten a bunch of World Champions so now it’s time to become one himself.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

Kennedy is challenging and gets thrown down a few times to start. That’s broken up in a hurry as Kennedy grabs a rollup for two. Batista’s suplex gets two and it’s already time to head outside. Kennedy sends him back first into the steps but Batista is right back inside with some shots to the face. We go intelligent with Kennedy attacking the knee to slow Batista down. There’s a cannonball down onto the knee for two, setting up something like a reverse Figure Four.

The rope is grabbed and Kennedy’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Another kick to the leg gets two and Kennedy grabs a half crab. Batista powers out and snaps off the spinebuster, only to bang up the knee even more. The Batista Bomb is countered with another shot to the knee, causing Batista to bump the referee. Kennedy hits a DDT a delayed two so frustration sets in. That’s enough for Kennedy to go up, only to get clotheslined out of the air. Now the Batista Bomb can retain the title.

Rating: C. This felt like a house show main event and that isn’t the worst thing. Kennedy is someone who is going to steal most of the wins he gets and it would be a bit much to believe that he is going to beat Batista in a straight match. The leg thing was fine and the match wasn’t bad, but it was the definition of the Royal Rumble throwaway title shot.

Batista poses for a good bit.

Ariel and Kevin Thorn think their Royal Rumble number is in the cards. The Leprechaun comes in and growls a lot while picking. Coach hopes it isn’t a small number and gets bitten n the ear. Then the Leprechaun meets Great Khali and runs off, leaving Khali to draw three numbers. Kelly picks up the two that Khali drops and Ron Simmons comes in for the joke.

We recap John Cena vs. Umaga. Cena gave him his first loss in a miracle win at New Year’s Revolution so now it’s a Last Man Standing match so Cena can’t escape with a win. Umaga crushed Cena’s ribs on Raw so Cena is very banged up coming in.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is challenging and this is Last Man Standing. They stare each other down to start and Cena slugs away to little avail. Instead it’s a shot to the bad ribs to put Cena down on the floor as the beating begins. Cena is sent hard into the steps and Umaga shrugs off being rammed face first into the apron. Back in and Umaga hits him with a heck of a clothesline and it’s time to bring in the steps as Cena pulls himself up.

Somehow Cena manages to pick the tosses them down onto Umaga for a nasty/scary crash. A bearhug into a belly to belly lets Umaga grab more steps, which are stood up in the corner. The running Umaga attack only hits steps though and Cena hits him in the face with the steps for a seven. Cena’s high crossbody is countered into the spinning release Rock Bottom and Umaga goes simple by sitting on his chest.

Another attempt is countered with some raised knees though and Cena plants him onto the steps for a breather. The Shuffle, with Umaga still on the steps, connects but an FU attempt collapses with both of them landing on the steps. Cena is busted open so Umaga hammers away, triggering whatever Cena calls Hulking Up. Since Umaga isn’t an 80s monster, he grabs a Samoan drop to plant Cena again. The Samoan Spike is blocked so Umaga ties him in the Tree of Woe.

The running headbutt misses though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser. One heck of a TV monitor shot to the head gives Cena eight so he knocks Umaga outside. That’s fine with Umaga, who posts Cena hard. With Cena laid down on the ECW announcers’ table, Umaga gets a running start and splashes….well only the table actually. Umaga is back up at nine and runs Cena over again as Estrada unhooks the top rope. A charging turnbuckle shot gets countered into an FU and Cena grabs the STFU with the rope wrapped around Umaga’s throat to put him out and retain.

Rating: A-. This is a heck of a fight and an underrated Cena classic. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it was a mixture of Cena fighting with power, surviving until he had an opening and then getting smart. I liked this a lot and it’s definitely worth a look if you want to see two big, strong men fighting each other for a long time in one of the better Last Man Standing matches.

Sandman has a beer and picks one of the last two numbers. Ric Flair comes in, picks the last number, and gets hit on by Kelly Kelly. The rest of Extreme Expose comes in and dances with Flair…who leaves so the three of them can dance by themselves.

History package on the Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

90 second intervals with Ric Flair in at #1 (Flair was in five Rumbles and entered #1 twice, #3, #5 and #30. That is downright amazing luck) and Finlay in at #2 for a match which would only happen once in a singles match. Finlay shoulders him down to start and shrugs off some shots to the face to set up a backdrop. It’s too early to toss Flair out so he strikes away until Kenny Dykstra is in at #3. That means a double teaming on Flair but the alliance lasts all of five seconds (a long time in the Rumble) and everyone brawls again.

Matt Hardy is in at #4 to go after Dykstra before switching off to Finlay. Edge is in at #5 to pick up the pace but gets taken down in a hurry. Flair goes for some chairs for the sake of revenge but gets tossed out by Edge. Dykstra is out as well and it’s Tommy Dreamer in at #6. Matt can’t get rid of Edge and Dreamer can’t get rid of Finlay either. Sabu is in at #7 and goes for a table instead of getting inside. He finally does get in for a springboard tornado DDT to Dreamer as Gregory Helms (and his song says so) is in at #8. Helms almost eliminates Hardy and it’s Shelton Benjamin in at #9 as the ring is starting to fill up.

Hardy has to avoid being sent through the table at ringside before trying to do the same to Benjamin. Kane is in at #10 and gets rid of Dreamer and Sabu, the latter being chokeslammed through a table. With the two of them gone, we have Finlay, Hardy, Edge, Helms, Benjamin and Kane. CM Punk is in at #11 and goes after Edge to little avail thanks to a save from Finlay. King Booker is in at #12 and Helms is tossed out in a hurry. Brawling ensues and it’s Super Crazy in at #13.

Kane starts cleaning house again and Booker teases throwing Finlay out, with Finlay circling back to the middle of the ring in a smart move. Jeff Hardy is in at #14 so the Hardys get together for some shots on various people. Poetry In Motion hits Kane and it’s the Sandman in at #15. The entrance takes a good while and the cane shots about….until Booker tosses him in less than fifteen seconds. Randy Orton is in at #16 and I think we have a focal point of the match.

Rated-RKO get rid of Crazy and then toss the Hardys without much trouble. Chris Benoit is in at #17 and it’s time to German suplex a bunch of people. Rob Van Dam is in at #18 as the star power is pretty high at the moment. Van Dam kicks Booker in the face and Kane tosses him out, only to have Booker come back in and toss Kane as well. Cole: “THIS IS RIDICULOUS!” Speaking of ridiculous, Viscera is in at #19 as JBL and Cole argue about Booker coming back in to toss Kane.

Johnny Nitro is in at #20, giving us Finlay, Edge, Benjamin, Punk, Orton, Benoit, Van Dam, Viscera and Nitro. Benoit gets Benjamin about as close to out as you can but he hangs on by just part of one foot. Kevin Thorn is in at #21 and it’s more mindless brawling. Hardcore Holly is in at #22 as the ring is way too full. Everyone goes after Viscera and Shawn Michaels (the hometown boy) is in at #23 to knock Finlay out.

Everyone gets together to toss Viscera and Shawn dumps Benjamin as well. Chris Masters is in at #24 and Benoit knocks Nitro out. Chavo Guerrero is in at #25 as Benoit gets rid of Thorn. Van Dam goes up, looks around for someone to kick, and then gets back down. MVP is in at #26 and is promptly double teamed by Benoit and Michaels. Van Dam dropkicks Masters out and it’s Carlito in at #27, with Cole explaining the lucky history.

Some double teaming can’t get rid of Shawn and it’s Great Khali in at #28. Everyone gets ready for him and they are all knocked down, with only Holly being tossed. Miz is in at #29 (JBL: “Don’t worry King, I hate him too.”) and is out in about three seconds. Khali gets rid of Van Dam and Punk too, followed by Carlito and Guerrero. Shawn gets up to try Khali and is double chokeslammed down. Khali is the only one standing….and it’s the Undertaker in at #30 as the fans are WAY into it again. That leaves us with Edge, Orton, Michaels, MVP, Khali and Undertaker.

The showdown is on with Undertaker winning a slugout and clotheslining Khali out to get us down to five. Old School (one of the dumbest things you can do in the Rumble) hits MVP and he is gone too, but he hands Orton a chair to blast Undertaker. Edge teases a spear to Orton but the chair scares him off. An RKO to Shawn puts him underneath the bottom rope so it’s time to double team the busted open Undertaker. That doesn’t last long as Undertaker hits the running corner clotheslines and it’s Snake Eyes into the big boot to Edge.

Orton gets caught in the chokeslam with Edge breaking it up with a spear. Another chair shot to the head cuts Undertaker down so it’s time for the Conchairto. Shawn is back up though and backdrops Orton out, followed by a superkick to Edge to get us down to two. They’re both down so Undertaker sits up and Shawn nips up for an awesome visual as you can feel this one. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved away twice. Now it’s Undertaker’s turn to unload in the corner, setting up the upside down whip into the corner.

The big boot misses and Undertaker falls to the apron. Shawn’s running charge is cut off by an elbow and Undertaker gets back in, where Shawn catches him with a swinging neckbreaker. Cole calls them perhaps the two biggest stars in the history of WWE and I’ll ignore that one because this is pretty awesome. Undertaker lifts him out to the apron but Shawn goes up top, only to get punched in the face.

For some reason Undertaker goes up with him until Shawn knocks him back down. The top rope elbow hits Undertaker again but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a chokeslam. Shawn slips off the shoulder though and now Sweet Chin Music can connect to put both of them down. Another Sweet Chin Music is loaded up (ala how Shawn eliminated Diesel in 1996) but Undertaker ducks him to toss Shawn and win, making him the first #30 entrant to pull it off.

Rating: B-. The ending alone is enough to make this worth seeing as it’s probably the best ending ever to a Rumble. Other than that, you had a feeling where a lot of people could win and that’s one of the keys to a good Rumble. What isn’t a key to a good one is having that many people in the ring at once, which was the case multiple times here. The problem is getting to the ending, but that is some straight magic between two people who knew how to crank up the drama. You could go back and forth on the winner, but I’m a sucker for that final pairing.

Shawn looks crushed (and the fans seem to be as well) as Undertaker poses a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. Much like the Rumble itself, the last part of the show (in this case the last two matches) are enough to make the show work, plus a rather good tag match and a watchable Kennedy vs. Batista match. The one part lacking is Lashley vs. Test, with all seven minutes of it being pretty bad. This was a rather good show, with a Cena vs. Umaga being an underrated classic.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: March 23, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Much like Raw, things have been going well around here as of late as we head into Wrestlemania. That does lead to a bit of a problem though, as the show runs the risk of running out of things to do with Wrestlemania so soon. It feels like Smackdown can do no wrong at the moment though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Arnold Skaaland.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon (in a rather gold coat) to get things going. Vince talks about how much fun he had on Monday and we see a clip of the destruction of Eugene. If you think Eugene was humiliated by having his head shaved, imagine what it is going to be like when Donald Trump is shaved bald. Vince recaps Steve Austin’s involvement and promises to shave everyone’s hair. Oh and he’ll beat Bobby Lashley 1-2-3 on Raw.

That was so much fun that Vince thinks Lashley should be in action tonight. Cue Lashley’s opponent for the night: Mr. Kennedy. Eh that’s not enough so we’ll throw in Randy Orton to make it a handicap match. And we’ll make it a tables match, just for fun. They’re certainly making Lashley go through adversity and that is a good way to make him feel important.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. MNM

MNM is challenging as their on/off team continues and Ashley/Melina are the thirds. It seems that something is wrong with JBL’s headset as Cole goes on solo for a long stretch during the entrances. It’s a brawl to start and a double forearm gets two on Mercury. Nitro offers a quick assist though and London misses a dropkick. London gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and we hit the waistlock.

That’s broken up and London rolls over for the hot tag off to Kendrick. Mercury isn’t wasting time and cuts him off for two, with Melina screaming that it should have been three. The real hot tag brings in London as we talk about a Melina photo shoot. Melina grabs London’s foot on the top but Ashley cuts her off, setting up a high crossbody to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This was a commercial for Melina vs. Ashley disguised as a Tag Team Title match. To be fair, that’s the right call as the Ashley stuff is more important than the titles at the moment. London and Kendrick have held the titles for the better part of a year now and it is time they dropped them. Just not to MNM.

Kane scares Kristal and is very happy about what he did to Daivari last week. As for Khali, he is ready to go all the way at Wrestlemania and has the hook on a chain to help him. I’ll let you make your own comments.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title and JBL is right there saying Yang should be a cook in a noodle house. Yang fights out of the corner and hits a middle rope missile dropkick. Chavo is sent outside for a baseball slide into the announcers’ table but he’s fine enough to dropkick Yang out of the air back inside. We hit the armbar, followed by the double arm crank to keep Yang in trouble. Another armbar is broken up and Yang hits a jawbreaker, only to miss the spinwheel kick. Chavo hits Three Amigos (which Cole finds disrespectful) but Yang kicks him into the corner. The moonsault press gives Yang the upset pin.

Rating: C-. Gee I wonder what we are going to get out of this. I’m completely sick of the non-title losses and they are a reason why this title means so little. Chavo will come back and win the rematch and we’ll be right back where they started. That’s about as good as you’re going to get with the title and nothing is going to change because the cruiserweights don’t mean a thing.

Arnold Skaaland tribute video.

Trailer for the Condemned.

MVP vs. Cedric Von Haussen

Von Haussen’ Lichtenstein’s Title isn’t on the line and he looks like he stepped out of a Swiss clock. MVP clotheslines him down and hits a running boot in the corner. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP brags about how he is going to win his first title at Wrestlemania and it is going to be a Wrestlemania Moment for both he and Chris Benoit. That’s going to make sure Benoit is on highlight reels and in documentaries forever. The same might be true for Von Haussen as well, who had a much better career when he changed his name to Johnny Gargano.

Celebrity Trump vs. McMahon picks.

Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title tables match and Lashley has to put both of them through a table to win. Lashley starts fast and sends Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to take a beating. Orton tries to grab the foot from the floor and gets suplexed for his efforts. The double teaming gives the villains a chance though and Lashley is sent shoulder first into the post.

Cue Vince McMahon as Orton gets out the first table. Lashley fights off the table in the corner and beats on Orton as Kennedy gets another table. That takes too long and Lashley puts Kennedy through said table in the corner. Vince does his panicked face and Lashley powerslams Orton through the table for the win.

Rating: C. Those are quite the odds to overcome but it’s just a tables match so it is a little easier to accept. Lashley is getting a great rub out of this whole story and this was another impressive win. Vince’s stunned face as he realized what he had gotten himself into on Monday was great and it should make for a very shenaniganzy match.

Gregory Helms vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and joined in progress with a lockup going into the corner. Helms forearms Benoit down until a hard chop cuts him off. A snap suplex drops Helms again but he sends Benoit outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Helms grabs a guillotine choke, which draws Benoit back up with more chops. Helms neckbreakers him down but Benoit rolls the German suplexes. The Swan Dive into the Crossface finishes Helms in a hurry.

Rating: C. Quick but energetic match here and it’s amazing how much less annoying it is to see Helms lose now that he doesn’t have the Cruiserweight Title. If nothing else, seeing him still lose like this shows you how little the title meant, which isn’t even the case with the Tag Team Titles. Benoit is back on track after the loss on Raw and that’s a good idea on the way to Wrestlemania.

Batista isn’t happy with Undertaker throwing Finlay at him last week. It’s about getting even though and they’ll be fine as a team tonight….at least during the match.

The Wild Samoans are going into the Hall of Fame. How in the world were they not in there already?

JBL leaves to head to the back for something.

Battle of the Billionaires Tale of the Tape.

Teddy Long gives Kristal a rose when JBL comes in. He’d like to moderate an interview between Undertaker and Batista next week. “Captain Cialis” agrees.

Finlay and King Booker jump Batista in the back.

Undertaker vs. King Booker/Finlay

So much for the huge tag match. Booker runs away from Undertaker to start but Finlay’s cheap shot lets Booker take him into the corner. That doesn’t work as Undertaker loads up Old School, which is reversed with a pull off the ropes but Undertaker pulls it down into an armdrag (egads man). Finlay gets booted off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Booker breaking up the apron legdrop and hammering away on the floor. Finlay’s running seated senton gets two as things slow down a bit. The villains start taking turns on Undertaker, with Finlay grabbing a half crab. The comeback is cut off with a clothesline to give Finlay two more but Undertaker fights up. That includes the running DDT to take Finlay down and the real comeback is on. The running clotheslines in the corner connect but Finlay grabs the Shillelagh for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The armdrag alone was worth the look as you don’t see Undertaker do that most of the time. It was a good way to end the show and you know there is going to be something with Batista before we wrap it up. As usual, this has been a very well done setup for the title match and they took another nice step here.

Post match the beatdown is on but Batista runs in for the save. Stereo powerbombs are loaded up but Batista throws Booker at Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was mostly in the middle here, but you don’t watch a show nine days before Wrestlemania and expect some great matches. Instead, you got the storyline reinforcements that make Wrestlemania feel bigger, which is what you should be getting here. I liked the show and I wanted to see Wrestlemania, with none of this being really bad. That’s all they need to do for the next week and they will hit the ground running in Detroit.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: March 16, 2007
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

I’m really not sure what to expect here and I kind of like that feeling. Last week’s Smackdown was a complete success with a pair of gems in Undertaker vs. Finlay and Kane vs. Batista. If they can come close to that this week, they are going to be in fine shape as they round the turn towards Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Batista to get things going (while rocking the heck out of a suit) on MizTV. Miz sucks up to Batista for the sake of not being ripped in half and brings out the latest WWE Magazine. There is an interview in here where Batista said that he was unstoppable, but Undertaker is the one who is really unstoppable. Miz thinks Undertaker could come out here right now and take Batista apart. The lights go off but pop back up and Miz laughs because he paid some guy in the back to turn them off. Batista finds if funny and shakes Miz’s hand….but he doesn’t find Miz funny. Destruction ensues.

Ashley and Kane are going to be on Smallville. I remember that episode.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

Feeling out process to start with Kennedy not looking all that worried. Hardy takes him down with a hammerlock but gets sent into the corner for his efforts. That earns Kennedy a running clothesline and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kennedy grabbing a cravate to keep Hardy in trouble.

Hardy fights up but the corner bulldog is shoved away, allowing Kennedy to hit a chop block. The leg is slammed into the apron and some knees to the knee keep Hardy in trouble. A clothesline gives Kennedy two and the Indian Deathlock goes on. Hardy turns it over (Does that hurt?) and Kennedy has to grab the rope for the break.

Kennedy is fine enough to go up and miss the Kenton Bomb, allowing Hardy to strike away. The Side Effect gives Hardy two and Kennedy’s rollup, while grabbing the rope, gets the same. Another Regal Roll is countered into the Twist of Fate to give Hardy the fast pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This was a longer match and it’s weird to see Kennedy getting pinned clean. Kennedy worked over the leg for a good chunk of the match and then but Hardy worked through it until he could win in the end. That’s a story that works well for both guys and Hardy winning reminds you that he is actually pretty good around here.

Post break, Kennedy says that he’s still winning Money in the Bank.

MVP vs. El Grande Latte

Non-title, as Latte’s Honduran Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Cole brags about winning his Little League championship as MVP dismantles the rather thin Latte. Ballin connects and MVP ties him in the Tree of Woe to stomp away. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP reiterates his challenge to Chris Benoit for Wrestlemania. MVP lists off some of the great US Champions and says he has more style than Ric Flair and more skill than Harley Race. He’s living the American Dream too as the poor boy from Miami, but maybe Chris Benoit isn’t hearing him. Maybe we should change his name from the Crippler to the Coward. Cue Teddy Long to say the match is on and here is Benoit to start the brawl.

This Monday: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels vs. JBL. Cole isn’t convinced but JBL says he has something planned.

Melina/MNM vs. Ashley/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Mercury (now without the mask) headlocks Kendrick to start but it’s quickly off to London to work on the arm. Enough about a match with half the people involved being champions though, as it’s time to talk about Vince McMahon and Donald Trump. The women come in and stare at each other before handing it back to Kendrick and Nitro. Everything breaks down and a double dive to the floor takes MNM down.

Back in and Melina gets in a cheap shot to the ribs and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back to keep him down. Nitro grabs the cravate and it’s back to Mercury to stay on him with some right hands. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Kendrick and we’re off to a chinlock. Mercury goes after Ashley but the distraction allows the hot tag to London. Everything breaks down and Melina gets in a cheap shot on Ashley, leaving London to walk into the Snapshot for the pin.

Rating: C. The women might as well have been on the outside here but I get the concept at least. I’m not sure how bad it is going to be for Ashley to be in a title match at Wrestlemania but the fact that she was barely active here isn’t the most encouraging. The guys could probably work this match in their sleep, but London and Kendrick haven’t been around much as of late so there wasn’t a ton of energy to the whole thing.

Video tribute to Ernie Ladd.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are not happy that he has to wrestle the Undertaker tonight. Finlay comes in looking for Hornswoggle but they don’t care about him. Hold on though, as Booker asks Finlay for advice against Undertaker. Finlay: “RUN!” The guys leave and Hornswoggle appears, carrying a pitcher of beer. He wishes Sharmell a Happy St. Patrick’s Day and asks for a kiss, sending her running off screaming. Well that was creepy.

Celebrities pick Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump.

Long video on the Trump vs. McMahon contract signing.

Daivari vs. Kane

Kane’s entrance cuts off Daivari’s rant so we’re starting fast. The destruction doesn’t take long as Kane knocks him into the corner and hammers away with the variety you would probably expect. The choke shove sends Daivari out through the ropes and it’s a chokeslam onto the steps. Then Kane grabs the hook chain and ties Daivari up, which I think is enough for the no contest.

Post break Kane drags Daivari backstage and seemingly into the boiler room.

Mr. Fuji Hall of Fame video.

Undertaker vs. King Booker

Batista is on commentary. Booker actually wins an early slugout but the advantage doesn’t last long as Undertaker punches him into the corner. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Booker going face first into the steps. Back in and Old School is broken up, allowing Booker to drop him with a running forearm. A big boot takes Booker down just as fast for two and now Old School can connect.

Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and it’s time for the slow rights and lefts in the corner. As Undertaker clotheslines him outside, JBL says that Batista is better than King Kong Bundy and Giant Gonzalez. Undertaker makes the mistake of stopping to glare at Batista though and Booker gets in a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting a side slam for two and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Undertaker pulls him outside to start the brawling again.

They get back inside with Booker kneeing away to block a superkick and we hit the front facelock. Booker hammers away but Undertaker does it a bit better, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot. Undertaker hits the jumping clothesline but Booker is back with the jumping side kick for two. Back up and the Undertaker tries the Last Ride, only to get jumped by Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two beat each other up and that’s all you can ask for here. Well maybe save for Undertaker getting the pin, as it isn’t like Booker losing to Undertaker is going to derail him. Booker was actually working harder here and it was a harder hitting offense than usual this week. Good match, but the ending was a bit weird.

Post match the brawl is on with Undertaker getting the better of things, including throwing Finlay into Batista. Undertaker walks up the ramp as Batista is livid to end the show. This has been a really well built story so far and I want to see these two fight.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last week, but that was a pretty high ceiling to reach. What matters here is they are making Wrestlemania look good and none of the recent shows have been awful. If they can keep that momentum up for the next two weeks, Wrestlemania might be even better than it seems, which would be rather impressive. Another good show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 12, 2007
Location: Verizon Center, Washington DC
Attendance: 14,740
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than three weeks away from Wrestlemania and it’s another Donald Trump show as the contract has to be signed. Other than that, the World Title situation has been picking up as you can feel the tension building between Shawn Michaels and John Cena. The shows have actually been working well as of late and that might be the case again this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Ernie Ladd.

We open with a recap of Shawn Michaels and John Cena not needing the other to save them, with Shawn barely saving Cena to end the show.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena knows there is tension in the air because he doesn’t know if he can trust Shawn Michaels. When is Shawn going to betray him and get it over with? If Shawn wants to turn on his tag partner then fine, but if Shawn wants to kick his teeth down his throat, come out here and do it right now.

Cue Shawn, but Cena cuts him off to say this is all about the title. Shawn says he isn’t going to win Good Samaritan this year because all he cares about is being WWE Champion. People have been asking when he is going to turn on Cena, but why aren’t people asking when Cena is going to turn on him? Cena will do anything to be champion and that’s what Shawn likes about him. As much as Cena wants to be champion, Shawn wants one more day in the sun that much more.

Violence is teased but here is Coach to interrupt. All this talk about the WWE Title has taken focus off of the Tag Team Titles and there are a lot of teams ready to take their heads off. That’s why tonight, it’s a gauntlet match against three teams. It seems to be three straight title matches, and the third is going to take place inside a steel cage.

Celebrities pick who they want to see bald.

Donald Trump arrives.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. Carlito vs. Ric Flair

Elimination rules so Orton has to fight off a double team out of the corner. Back to back dropkicks put Carlito and Flair down but Flair is back up with the chops. Carlito does the same in the corner and gets two off a back elbow to the face. Flair takes out the knee and Carlito hits the springboard elbow. For reasons of good guys in wrestling are idiots, Carlito wants to put on the RKO so a fight breaks out with Flair. The Backstabber to Flair sets up the RKO for the elimination and we take a break.

Back with Carlito crawling to the ropes to get out of a Boston crab. That’s fine with Orton, as he gets in the Garvin Stomp into the jumping knee for two. Orton punches him down in the corner and we hit the chinlock. Carlito, eventually, fights up and snaps off a hurricanrana into a flapjack for two. The springboard spinning Swanton gets two but Orton crotches him on top. The RKO sends Orton to Wrestlemania.

Rating: C-. The elimination rule was little more than a way for Carlito to look like a moron, which he tends to do on his own. The Carlito/Flair stuff makes sense on paper, but then falls apart when you realize that it’s a story about Carlito. Orton going on makes sense as he needs something to do at Wrestlemania and he looked pretty dominant on the way there.

Video on Bobby Lashley vs. Vince McMahon.

It’s time for a Masterlock Challenge but no one comes out. Chris Masters offers Lilian Garcia a chance but here is Super Crazy for the save. Crazy gets in a few shots but gets Masterlocked down. This was every Masterlock Challenge for months now.

Vince McMahon arrives and tells Donald Trump’s driver to tell Trump that his is bigger than Trump’s. The limo that is.

Video on Ernie Ladd, who I like more and more every time I see something from him.

Edge and Randy Orton are getting ready in the back but stop to bicker about winning Money in the Bank. Edge is undefeated, but the only reason is he never faced Randy Orton.

Lilian Garcia asks us to look at the Titantron for a public service announcement. Someone is reading the Los Angeles Times and talking about the Battle of the Billionaires. The paper is folded down…..and it’s the Rock. Well that wakes the crowd up. Rock talks about being Samoan himself and knows that Umaga is Samoan for shriveled up monkey censored. How is Vince going to win with a shriveled up monkey censored? Rock hits some catchphrases and we’re done in a hurry. This was as fast paced of a cameo as you’re going to get.

Ashley had a Playboy signing in New York City.

Tag Team Titles: Gauntlet Match

John Cena and Shawn Michaels are defending in three straight matches. First up is the World’s Greatest Tag Team so Cena hiptosses and elbows Benjamin down to start. The release fisherman’s suplex gets two but Benjamin gets him into the corner for the tag to Haas. Some right hands and a slam set up more right hands but Cena runs him over. The hot(ish) tag brings in Michaels to clean house until Cena tags himself back in. The STFU, with a glare at Michaels, makes Haas tap.

Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade are in next with an atomic drop/big boot combination to take over on Michaels. Murdoch’s slingshot knee gives Cade two and a jumping clothesline is good for the same. The bearhug doesn’t last long as Michaels punches his way out and hits an enziguri. Cena gets the tag and starts to wreck things, including the FU to Murdoch….at least in theory, as Shawn superkicks Murdoch for the pin instead. The cage is lowered and it’s MNM as the third challengers.

We’re joined in progress with Nitro getting two on Cena before grabbing the chinlock. That doesn’t last long as Cena is up in a hurry for another tag back to Michaels. Nitro takes Michaels down as well and it’s time for some choking. A neckbreaker gives Nitro two but the yet to be named Starship Pain misses.

Despite Mercury getting in a cheap shot on Cena, Michaels gets over for the tag anyway and it’s time to clean house. Everything breaks down and it turns into a contest to see who can abuse Mercury worse. Mercury is busted open but Michaels and Cena get into it again, this time over which finisher to use. Nitro gets dropped so it’s a superkick to send Mercury into the FU to retain.

Rating: C. This was little more than a workout for Cena and Michaels, as the other three teams just aren’t close to them. It took about six minutes to beat the first two and then not much more than that to take out MNM. The feud has been doing good things for Cena and Michaels but it has shown how weak the tag division is. Then again, that has been pretty clear for a long time now.

Post match the cage is raised and the other teams come in to go after Michaels and Cena. That’s fine with Cena, who grabs a chair to wreck everyone. Cena teases hitting Michaels but everything is cool and the champs leave everyone laying.

Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

Hold on though as Edge is in street clothes. He would love to come down and beat up Jeff Hardy but he isn’t wrestling in a city with a football team named after a racial slur. Replacement time, as Edge has a friend of Indian descent.

Jeff Hardy vs. Great Khali

Hardy isn’t sure about this but hammers away to no avail. Khali throws him down without much trouble, hits him in the head, and yells a lot. Cue Kane though…..and he has some meat hooks on a chain (his See No Evil weapon) so we’ll call it from here.

Post match Khali runs away from the threat of likely death so Kane uses the hooks to destroy the announcers’ table instead.

Donald Trump wants to know if Vince McMahon’s hair is fake.

Mr. Fuji is going into the Hall of Fame. Other than Billy Gunn and Kofi Kingston, he held a Tag Team Title longer than any man in company history so yeah, he belongs in there.

Mick Foley is proud of his new book, the Hardcore Diaries, and talks about some things he discusses, including Vince McMahon’s lack of creative genius and ECW. Cue Ashley, who offers a copy of Playboy for the book. Foley says he won’t look at the pictures because he can’t look at Ashley that way. As luck would have it, Foley has a page marked in his book about his thoughts on his co-workers in Playboy. He turns around to the open magazine and Ron Simmons comes in for his catchphrase.

We get a Battle of the Billionaires tale of the tape.

Vince is getting his hair ready and reminds the hairdresser that he is bigger than Trump. Coach comes in to praise Vince’s hair but Vince goes on a rant about how Coach’s bald head reminds him too much of Trump.

Melina vs. Torrie Wilson

Non-title. Torrie gets two off a bridging rollup, which has commentary rather approving. Another rollup gets another two as commentary talks about various magazines. Melina fights up but gets knocked down, allowing JR to mention that Torrie is from the potato state of Idaho. That’s enough for Melina, who grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin.

Post match the beatdown stays on until Mickie James runs in for the save, with Victoria right behind her. Melina is left alone so here is Ashley to beat her down instead.

Edge comes up to Vince McMahon in the back and offers to have Rated-RKO take care of Bobby Lashley on ECW. How about tomorrow, Lashley faces Randy Orton? If Orton can’t go though, he should be thrown out of Money in the Bank. Vince is good with that.

Here is Vince McMahon for the contract signing, though first he has to slip on the way into the ring. Vince talks about how Donald Trump won’t be able to get out of this one and brings out Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada of course. There is no Trump though and Vince thinks it is due to cowardice.

The threat of a Billionaire B**** Slap brings out Trump, flanked by Maria and Candice Michelle. Trump: “Vince, your grapefruits are no match for my Trump towers.” He brings out Bobby Lashley (Trump: “Love you Bobby. Do we love Bobby? Do we love Bobby?”) and says these people seem to like him. Vince doesn’t care what the people or celebrities think and they both sign.

Cue Steve Austin to keep the star power and Vince’s panicking going. Austin asks the fans about their picks for the match before telling Trump that he is in his ring. Trump does nothing but tell people they’re fired, but don’t get on Austin’s bad side or he’ll take him out. Trump smirks it off so Austin goes over to Vince to ask about his problem with bald people (as we cut to Lashley and then back to Austin).

Vince isn’t happy so Austin grabs him by the tie and threatens various acts of violence. Austin leaves so Vince recaps everything again before leaving. Hold on though as Trump has something of his own: FAKE PHOTOS OF A BALD VINCE!!! Trump wants to fight Vince right now so Vince gets back in, only to be shoved over the table to end the show. This was the big angle of the night and while things are a bit different in hindsight, they knew what they had here and the money they made on Wrestlemania showed how right they were.

Overall Rating: C. This one is going to depend on how you look at it. While the wrestling itself was nothing memorable whatsoever, they’re in a bit of a unique spot. Wrestlemania is set and there is nothing else that really needs to be added. That means the rest of the time is going to be spent firming things up, hence the 20+ minute main event segment. The show isn’t very good on its own, but as part of the build to Wrestlemania, it worked rather well.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 5, 2007
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are less than a month away from Wrestlemania and for once, the build is actually clicking really well. There is a lot of focus on the Battle of the Billionaires, which is hardly the most thrilling story due to the people involved, but just about everything else has my interest. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

John Cena comes up to Shawn Michaels in the back (to a THUNDEROUS CENA chant) and asks what is up with Shawn. Michaels says he isn’t going to turn on him, but Cena wants some more reassurance. What makes this one so different? Shawn: “I don’t know. Maybe it’s not.” Cena has Shawn’s back tonight, but Shawn says he doesn’t need it. That’s not cool with Cena, who will have Shawn’s back. Shawn says he doesn’t want or need Cena’s help and walks off.

Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton

Edge is here with Orton, who punches Shawn down to start. That doesn’t last long, as Shawn is back up with a clothesline out to the floor. Back in and Orton punches him down a few more times, followed by a rather evil rake to the eyes. Orton sends him crashing out to the floor and we take a break. Back with Orton holding a pretty bad Boston crab and Shawn teasing the tap until he makes it over to the rope.

Shawn is back up with a crossbody for two but Orton drops him hard with the hanging DDT. A dropkick sets up the chinlock, which draws Shawn back to his feet for the chops. The atomic drop into the slam sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is countered into the RKO attempt, which is countered with a shove into the referee. Orton hits a clothesline and Edge throws in a title, but the referee intercepts the belt. That’s enough for Shawn to grab a rollup for the fast pin.

Rating: B-. It’s two main eventers getting some time and having a story to set up the match. That’s going to work every time and it was one of the better Raw matches in recent memory as a result. I liked what we got here and you know something else is going to happen after the match to make things that much better. Rather good opener here, which shouldn’t be a surprise.

Post match Edge throws in a chair, with Orton laying Shawn out with an RKO. Cue John Cena for the late save.

We recap Bobby Lashley destroying the cage to crush Umaga on ECW.

Vince McMahon asks Armando Alejandro Estrada what kind of mood Umaga is in tonight against Jeff Hardy. Estrada has something planned and leaves. Coach thinks Vince is worried about the guest referee being named for the Battle of the Millionaires. Vince of course isn’t, because he has made a suggestion, as Chairman of the Board: Shane McMahon.

Intercontinental Title: Umaga vs. Jeff Hardy

Umaga, with Armando Alejandro Estrada, is defending. Hardy avoids an early charge in the corner and they sent outside where Umaga gets dropkicked off the steps. Back in and Umaga blasts him with a clothesline before cannonballing down onto Hardy’s chest. Hardy tries to fight up and gets clotheslined down again, meaning it’s time to go into the Tree of Woe. The running headbutt knocks Hardy silly and it’s the running hip attack into the Samoan Spike to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Total squash here for the most part and that’s what it should have been. Umaga has jumped up the ladder and he should be squashing Hardy at the moment. It did what it was supposed to do and is going to make Bobby Lashley look that much better when he can go toe to toe with Umaga.

We recap Bobby Lashley’s week: brawling with Umaga on Raw, beating Hardcore Holly on ECW and turning down Vince McMahon’s offer to jump on Smackdown.

Some low level celebrities and John Travolta give their picks on the Battle of the Billionaires. Travolta does not seem to have any idea what he is being asked about.

Ric Flair and Carlito are in a Money in the Bank qualifying match tonight and Flair is very confident that he’s winning tonight and at Wrestlemania. Flair: “Why? Because I can. WOO!”

Shane McMahon calls Vince McMahon and thinks the Board of Directors votes how Vince wants. More later.

Here is Jim Duggan to take the Masterlock Challenge. The hold goes on, Duggan is in trouble, the fans chant USA, Duggan can’t fight out, Masters wins. This is about two minutes of the show.

We recap Shawn Michaels getting beaten down until John Cena made the late save.

Shawn isn’t happy with Cena, but will still have his back tonight. Cena doesn’t seem impressed.

Here is Vince McMahon for the announcement about the guest referee. Before we get to that though, Vince has an announcement: next week, Donald Trump will be here to sign the contract for Wrestlemania. If Trump gets out of line, it is going to be the McMahon B**** Slap. As for the guest referee…..here is Eric Bischoff. Don’t worry though because he isn’t the guest referee, but he does live in Phoenix. We hear about the garbage truck firing and Bischoff can’t wait to see Vince bald.

Bischoff leaves and Vince wants the guest referee….so here is Mick Foley in a referee shirt. Vince: “How are the kids?” Vince is clearly nervous and seems to hint at a bribe, but Mick would rather have his old job back. That’s granted, but Mick also wants unlimited access to pop in and plug his new book, the Hardcore Diaries. Oh and could Vince pick up his room service bill, including an adult double feature? Sure on that too, but Foley isn’t the referee for Wrestlemania. He’s the referee for a rib eating contest between Charles Barkley and the Phoenix Suns Gorilla.

Cue the Gorilla so Vince throws them both out as Shane McMahon comes out to replace them. Vince is thrilled, but Shane says they lost. Vince: “If you’re not the guest referee…..” And cue the glass shatter, giving us an all time Vince Face with the Wrestlemania sign behind him. Steve Austin comes out, hits the buckles, won’t shake Vince’s hand, and drinks a lot. He does throw some beer on Vince for old times’ sake and the fans are very pleased. As usual, Austin knows when he doesn’t have to do anything more than the classics without saying a word. The fake referees were great too, with Austin being a perfect payoff.

Post break, Foley leaves with the Gorilla, giving Ron Simmons something to swear about.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Melina

Melina is defending, Falls Count Anywhere, and Ashley is guest ring announcer. As luck would have it, Lawler has Ashley’s Playboy, with the expected reactions. They waste no time in brawling to the back with Mickie tossing her over a makeup table. Now it’s time to go into the women’s locker room, with Lawler demanding wider camera angles. Victoria goes after Mickie but Torrie Wilson hairsprays Melina in the face. Candice Michelle pops up in a towel, which is ripped off in a hurry.

They head back into the arena and the ring with Mickie throwing her around by the hair over and over. Melina is sat on top for a super hurricanrana but holds on, leaving Mickie to crash ONTO HER HEAD, allowing Melina to get the pin. That was terrifying and I would hope not how it was planned.

Rating: D+. Well that was completely terrifying and not something I ever need to see again. Mickie crashed down hard and thankfully they got straight to the pin after that. The Falls Count Anywhere stuff was little more than a way to feature some of the other women and Ashley’s Playboy gets another plug. I don’t know how much the match mattered, but that is often the case with the title.

Post match Melina goes to yell at Ashley, who shoves her down. Ashley helps Mickie to her feet, which is quite the relief.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Carlito vs. Ric Flair

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito. Flair gets backed into the corner to start and stomps away until Flair chops his way to freedom. Carlito knocks him down again though and stomps away, setting up a snap suplex for two. The left hands are rained down so Flair chops away even more. The knee drop gets two and Flair grabs a chinlock. That’s broken up as well, allowing Carlito to hit the springboard back elbow….and here is Great Khali to jump them both. There is no bell so we’ll call that a no contest, meaning no winner.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but it wasn’t going to be very good in the first place. The story works well enough but it isn’t like this is a great idea. Flair as a mentor to Carlito is still a little weird, but so is barely having Carlito ever win anything. I’d assume one turns on the other in the end, though that could take some time.

Post match Khali says he wants Kane.

Here’s the Steve Austin appearance again.

Austin will be on ECW.

The newest Hall of Fame inductee is…..Nick Bockwinkel. That would be this year’s “how is he not in already” entrant.

Randy Orton makes it very clear to Edge: he does NOT have his back tonight.

John Cena vs. Edge

Non-title….and non-Edge at first as MNM comes out instead. Cue Edge to say he is a civil rights activist (yes) and since Arizona was one of the last states to recognize Martin Luther King Jr. Day, something needs to be done. Johnny Nitro’s great great grandmother was Black so he’s getting to face Cena instead. I really was not expecting that one so well done….maybe?

John Cena vs. Johnny Nitro

Non-title with the rest of MNM and Edge at ringside. Nitro kicks him down to start and sends him outside, where Mercury gets in a posting. Cena goes into the steps and it’s a chinlock to keep him down back inside. That’s broken up with raw power and Cena starts the clothesline comeback. The ProtoBomb into the Shuffle means Cena has to knock Edge off the apron. The AA is broken up by Mercury for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Another match that didn’t have time to go anywhere and was only there to set something up going forward. Edge’s line to get out of the match was completely out there, but it worked well for the kind of coward that he can be. Barely a match of course, but Nitro isn’t feeling like a complete accident in these roles anymore.

Post match the beatdown, including the Snapshot, is on. Cue Shawn Michaels, who teases running in for the save but turns around….only to run in and save Cena. Now it’s Cena’s change to be confused to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t very good here outside of the opener but the Steve Austin surprise worked well. They have the card set and now it is time to hammer things home. There are still a few weeks to go until Wrestlemania so hopefully the feuds have been mapped out well. Otherwise you run out of ideas in a hurry and the last few weeks are awful. Not a great show here, but Wrestlemania is looking strong.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

No Way Out 2007
Date: February 18, 2007
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s that show where WWE pretends that it matters while showing us a commercial for Wrestlemania. The main event is a tag match between the Wrestlemania main events, which should be a quality though unimportant match. Other than that, we are getting a Divas Talent Show, which should be as exciting as it sounds. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the tag match, because that’s about all that matters around here.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with JBL ranting about the Spanish team.

Chris Benoit/Hardys vs. MVP/MNM

Bonus match which combines….well just one feud as MVP and Benoit haven’t had any major issues. Matt and Mercury slug it out to start until Mercury charges into a raised boot in the corner. The Hardys start taking over on the arm until Mercury pulls him down by the hair. Nitro comes in and gets his arm cranked as well so MVP will try it instead. That’s fine with Benoit, who is right there to slam him down.

MVP gets chopped into the corner and MNM bails away in a hurry. Benoit gets two off a snap suplex and hands it off to Jeff, who gets slowed down by a rake to the eyes. Nitro comes in for the big staredown and suckers Jeff outside, where Mercury gets in a cheap shot. Back in and we hit the chinlock from Nitro, followed by one from Mercury. A suplex gives MVP two but Jeff gets to the corner for a quick Whisper in the Wind. It’s back to Matt to pick up the pace but MVP takes him down into a cravate.

Ballin gets two on Matt and Mercury comes in to go after Matt’s face again. Matt fights out of Nitro’s front facelock and hits a clothesline, allowing the hot tag off to Benoit. A double German suplex drops MNM and everything breaks down. Poetry In Motion hits MVP and another suplex gets two on Mercury. Nitro dives off the apron with a clothesline to Jeff but has to dive back in to break up the Crossface on MVP. Matt saves Benoit from the Snapshot and it’s the Crossface to make Mercury tap.

Rating: B. I can always go for a good six man and they were going pretty fast throughout here. Mixing up a pair of feuds (or at least one feud and two more people) opens up some extra options and keeps things from being the same stuff over and over. Really good opener here and that shouldn’t be the biggest surprise.

Vickie Guerrero has some options and one of her biggest is coming true on Smackdown. She hugs Krystal and thanks her for everything.

Finlay talks with the Leprechaun (who can speak fine here), who is scared of the Boogeyman. Well the Little Boogeyman, because little people are scary. Finlay throws him into a trashcan so he won’t be so scared and then leaves….and the Boogeyman smoke comes up. Little Boogeyman pops up and screaming ensues.

Cruiserweight Title: Cruiserweight Open

Gregory Helms is defending in a gauntlet match. Scotty 2 Hotty is in at #1 and Daivari is in at #2. Daivari sends him into the corner for some right hands but Scotty comes back with the bulldog. There’s the Worm and Daivari is done in a hurry. Gregory Helms is in at #1 and hammers on Scotty, including a catapult to send him throat first into the middle rope. Scotty is back with a belly to back suplex but the Worm is broken up. What would become known as the Codebreaker gets rid of Scotty so it’s Funaki in at #4.

Helms small packages him for the pin in about five seconds and it’s Shannon Moore in at #5. A spinning backbreaker gives Helms a fast two and a belly to belly superplex drops Moore again. Another Codebreaker gets rid of Moore and it’s Jimmy Wang Yang in at #6. Yang goes right after him and hits a standing moonsault for two. A Russian legsweep sets up some weird arm hold on the mat but Helms is back up in a hurry with a hard right hand. Yang grabs a quick hurricanrana for the pin out of nowhere, guaranteeing a new champion.

Jamie Noble is in at #7 as JBL demands more time to talk about Helms losing the title. A hard shot to the face sets up a chinlock on Yang and Noble sends him hard into the post for two. Yang fights back with a few clotheslines and the spinwheel kick for two of his own. The moonsault press gets rid of Noble and Yang thinks he has won….but it’s Chavo Guerrero in at #8 to complete the field.

Chavo uppercuts him down a few times and kicks Yang in the back to take over in a hurry. A spinwheel kick gives Yang a breather and the big dive to the floor drops Chavo again. Back in and Chavo hits Three Amigos, which Cole calls disrespectful for some reason. Yang gets in another shot to the face and goes up, only to miss the twisting moonsault. The frog splash gives Chavo the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. I’m really not a fan of this style as it’s a bunch of mini matches rather than anything getting time. Chavo winning the title is fine, but the rapid fire falls brings up the same thing I always wonder with this format: why is it so much easier to get a fall in this one than in any given match? Either way, at least the title is off of Helms, who was getting hammered with losses that WWE didn’t seem to think counted because he was still champion.

John Cena isn’t worried about teaming with Shawn Michaels tonight. What does have him concerned is facing Batista and Undertaker tonight. As for Michaels, what is going to happen when you can feel this much tension? Cena doesn’t know either.

Finlay/Leprechaun vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

The Leprechaun is as terrified as you would expect and hides underneath the ring, leaving this as a handicap match. Cole finds it funny, sending JBL into a rant about how Cole is xenophobic for hating Irish people. Boogeyman punches Finlay down to start and they head outside with Finlay being sent into the apron. Back in and Boogeyman hits a powerslam for two, allowing Little Boogeyman to come in for a seated senton. The Leprechaun comes in, puts his hat on Finlay and rolls up his sleeves, allowing Finlay to kick Little Boogeyman in the head.

JBL has no idea what he is watching as Finlay stomps away on Little Boogeyman and grabs a short armscissors. Little Boogeyman gets out and goes underneath the ring, but Boogeyman comes out. Back in and Boogeyman catapults Finlay into the corner and a double splash connects, with the Leprechaun making the save. Boogeyman loads up the worms to chase the Leprechaun off, leaving Finlay to hit the Little Boogeyman with the Shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D. The goofiness was high with this one but it’s kind of hard to get that angry about it. They made no secret of what they were going for here and the match went about as well as it was going to with all the nuttiness. Finlay and the Leprechaun do well together and it’s kind of funny to have a Little Boogeyman to balance things out. That and Finlay hitting Little Boogeyman in the head with a club was worth a chuckle at the end.

Of note: we are about an hour into the show and Cole’s voice is almost gone. This could be an interesting remaining two hours.

Shawn Michaels says he can’t trust John Cena because he only trusts HHH. No matter what happens tonight though, he has to make sure that nothing happens to Cena until Wrestlemania.

King Booker vs. Kane

Booker has Queen Sharmell in his corner, and we get a quick recap (Booker eliminated Kane from the Royal Rumble after being eliminated himself) during the entrances. Booker tries to run to start but gets caught in the corner for some elbows to the face. Kane doesn’t seem to mind getting hit in the face and takes Booker outside for elbow on the apron. As the beating continues, JBL goes into the Inferno match AGAIN, with Cole asking what JBL would have done to win the match.

The side slam and big boot set up a clothesline to the floor as Booker is still in trouble. Booker gets in a few shots of his own though and a missile dropkick connects for two back inside. The armbar goes on for a bit, followed by a kick to the face to give Booker two. Kane gets chopped down in the corner but he comes back with a suplex for a breather.

Booker kicks him in the ribs but misses the ax kick, allowing Kane to hit a running clothesline. The right hands in the corner rock Booker again and there’s the side slam. Kane’s top rope clothesline (closer to a right hang) draws Sharmell up to the apron and Booker nails the side kick. Not that it matters as Kane pops up with the chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: C. Perfectly fine match here as Kane gets a nice boost and King Booker’s run continues to cool off. There isn’t much left for him to do very high up on the card and that makes sense. King Booker wasn’t a gimmick that was going to have a very long term run on top and it has taken its course. Putting someone like Kane over is a good thing, as he could be used to make someone look bigger later.

Batista says Raw is going to lose tonight and he isn’t intimidated by Undertaker, John Cena or Shawn Michaels.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Deuce and Domino

Deuce and Domino, with Cherry, are challenging after winning back to back non-title matches. Domino drives London into the corner to start and they trade slaps. A jumping elbow drops Domino and it’s off to Kendrick to work on the arm. The champs clear the ring in a hurry and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Domino gets in a shot from behind on London to take over for the first time.

London gets whipped into some raised knees in the corner and we hit the double arm crank with a knee in the back. Deuce sends London hard into the corner and there’s a double backdrop for two. The chinlock goes on, allowing the referee to go over and say something to Kendrick in a weird visual. London fights up and gets the tag, setting up a quick spinning backslide for two on Deuce. Domino is back in but misses a Doomsday Device clothesline, allowing Kendrick to victory roll Deuce for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. I liked the match but I’m a bit confused by the ending. This was set up for the title change and there was little reason for them to not change the belts here. London and Kendrick have cooled down a bit in recent weeks and it is time for them to drop the titles already. Deuce and Domino are kind of perfect for that, but I guess they have to be slowed a bit on the way there.

Cole’s voice is barely holding up.

Video on Bobby Lashley’s childhood, which led to his successful amateur wrestling career. This is the same thing that aired on ECW last week.

Mr. Kennedy thinks Bobby Lashley is just like everyone here in Los Angeles: a phony wannabe. Everyone has a dream but he is standing here and they are all out there. He has beaten Lashley before and he can do it again, this time becoming the new ECW World Cha….and here is Lashley to say the one word for Kennedy is halitosis. Lashley drops him too, giving us a great confused Kennedy look.

ECW World Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is defending and Kennedy jumps him from behind during the entrances. That doesn’t exactly work on Lashley, who beats him near the barricade and takes it inside for the opening bell. A backdrop into a slam has Kennedy in more trouble and the delayed vertical suplex gets two. Kennedy slips away though and kicks Lashley down in the corner. Lashley grabs a torture rack but a rake to the eyes gets Kennedy out of trouble.

JBL talks about how this is the Wrestlemania of the future as Kennedy puts on something like a reverse Figure Four (with Lashley face down and Kennedy face up). With that broken up, Kennedy switches to a half crab so Lashley has to grab a rope. Back up and Lashley tries a slam but the leg gives out, allowing Kennedy to take him down again. A running dropkick to the knee gets two, with JBL saying to take notes if you want to be a sports entertainer.

More stomping in the corner sets up a DDT for two as the fans are not exactly thrilled. The half crab goes on again but this time Kennedy lets it go and puts him down again. The Kenton Bomb hits raised knees though and the leg is fine enough for the torture rack into the kneeling backbreaker. Kennedy “accidentally” bumps the referee and takes out Lashley’s leg again before grabbing a chair. Lashley takes it away and hits Kennedy for the lame DQ.

Rating: C-. I don’t get the boring chants from the fans but the ending wasn’t very good. Sure you don’t want Kennedy to take a fall (as he has done enough as of late) so why put them in this situation if that is all you have? They were in a bad place here and the match might not have been thrilling, but it could have been a lot worse. It could have been a lot shorter too, but I don’t think I would have said boring.

Rey Mysterio is back on Smackdown, but just to talk.

The Condemned is coming.

Vinnie Jones, co-star in the Condemned, says he is the real star of the movie and he beat up Steve Austin….presumably in the movie?

The Miz hosts the Divas Talent Invitational, starting with Extreme Expose. They dance, people drool, next act.

Next up is Jillian Hall, who is excited to have her big break in front of these music executives. First she has to warm up and doesn’t like the lack of bass. She sings her original version, with Miz saying she is the female version of William Hung. Jillian goes into a rant about how Extreme Expose couldn’t even be her backup dancers. She goes on about the other women’s “talents” and calls them b******. Cue the rest of the women to beat her up for the catfight, with referees breaking it up.

Ashley comes out with the talent of showing her Playboy cover and taking off her top, revealing strategically placed Playboy Bunny stickers. That’s enough for the win, shockingly enough.

Wrestlemania is All Grown Up. I like that one, though I’m still not sure I get it.

We recap the main event of Undertaker/Batista vs. Shawn Michaels/John Cena. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble and is facing Batista, while Shawn Michaels, the Royal Rumble runner up, is challenging Cena. Take two Wrestlemania main events and make a tag match.

John Cena/Shawn Michaels vs. Batista/Undertaker

Non-title. Shawn comes out to the DX theme and entrance as he continues to reach post-Strike Force Tito Santana levels of not being able to let it go. Batista knocks Cena into the corner to start but Cena comes back with right hands. That earns him a Regal Roll of all things and an early powerslam gets two. Cena avoids a charge into the corner though and it’s off to Shawn to fire off the chops.

That doesn’t last long as Batista powers him down and brings in Undertaker for a quick Old School. Undertaker shoves away the right hands in the corner and gets two off the big boot. Batista comes back in but misses an elbow, allowing the tag back to Cena. Undertaker is right back in as well and you can feel the energy coming up for the showdown. Cena catches Undertaker going up top (that’s a rare one) with a superplex but Undertaker sits back up.

The right hands rock Undertaker, who drops Cena again. This time it’s Undertaker missing an elbow of his own so it’s back to Shawn, who is gorilla pressed out to the floor in the big crash. Back in and Cena makes the save, leaving Shawn to get pounded down in the corner. Shawn gets in a shot to Undertaker’s knee and starts firing off right hands in the corner, as JBL compares this to getting to see WWE vs. WCW. Egads I’d hope it’s better than that.

Batista comes in for a series of clotheslines into a headlock but Shawn manages a running DDT. The hot tag brings in Cena to start cleaning house, including the Shuffle to Batista. Undertaker breaks up the FU and fights outside with Shawn, leaving Batista to hit a spinebuster. The Batista Bomb is broken up by Shawn’s shot to the knee and it’s time to take turns on Batista for a change. Cena blasts him with a clothesline for two as Cole has just stopped talking as his voice is gone. Shawn grabs a front facelock but Batista powers him off without much effort.

That’s not enough for the tag though as Cena is right there with a sleeper on the suddenly busted open Batista. The STFU has Batista in trouble in the middle of the ring, with Undertaker taking his time to make the save. It’s back to Shawn for the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is countered into a swinging Boss Man Slam. That’s enough for the hot tag back to Undertaker as everything breaks down. Undertaker beats up both of them without much trouble….until Batista spinebusters him down. Batista watches from ringside as it’s Sweet Chin Music into the FU to finish Undertaker.

Rating: B. The word for this match is big, as it felt like a match that belonged in a main event spot. It didn’t matter that there were no stakes and it won’t matter until Wrestlemania, but they got into a groove so that it felt like a match between two teams. That made Batista turning on Undertaker at the end feel important, and gives us the closest thing to a villain in the title match, even if it is more of an edgy good guy instead. Heck of a match here and a nice surprise.

Batista stares at Undertaker, who pulls himself up to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show is bookended by a pair of good matches but the middle is pretty all over the place. What helps this show more than anything else is the complete lack of expectations coming in. There was no reason to expect a good show here and we wound up getting a fine one, though only the opener and main event are really worth seeing. It is time to get ready for Wrestlemania now though, and that could not come soon enough.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Smackdown
Date: January 26, 2007
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before the Royal Rumble and I’m really not sure what they are going to be able to do to fill in two hours this week. Last time felt like a show that didn’t need to exist and I have a bad feeling that we are going to be seeing even more than that this time. Hopefully we get a little something good in there but there is only so much Deuce and Domino can do. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at how Mr. Kennedy became #1 contender and then fighting Undertaker in a rematch. Kennedy attacked World Heavyweight Champion Batista on commentary, drawing him in for the DQ in a very smart move.

Opening sequence.

Batista vs. Gregory Helms

Non-title. Batista starts fast by driving Helms into the corner and boots him out to the floor. Some choking ensues on the outside but Helms goes to the eyes to escape. Back in and Batista shoves him out of the corner but a few shots to the head put Batista down. The eye is still messed up as Helms drops a leg. Some right hands to the eye set up three straight near falls but Batista is back up with the spinebuster. The spear into the Batista Bomb finishes Helms.

Rating: D+. This was much more frustrating than bad, as there was no reason for Helms to lose here. With all of the talented wrestlers WWE has, there was NO ONE ELSE to take this loss other than the heavily damaged Cruiserweight Champion? There wasn’t a second option for this one? This has been done far too long now and it is beyond old at this point. If nothing else, it makes JBL sound stupid for praising him over and over with Helms losing so often.

Miz vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and we see some clips of Benoit winning the 2004 Royal Rumble. Benoit takes him into the corner to start and Miz hits the hide button. With that broken up, Benoit hits a running elbow for two and kicks away in the corner. A headbutt into a backbreaker gets two but Miz is back with a neckbreaker. The neck crank goes on to slow Benoit down and a slam gives Miz two. We’re right back to the neck crank but Benoit drives him into the corner for the chops. Benoit isn’t having this and headbutts away, setting up the Swan Dive for two as Miz gets a foot on the rope. The Crossface is good for the tap a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. Well at least the champ didn’t lose. It wasn’t much of a match though as Benoit beat Miz up, took a few shots and then won with his signature stuff. Granted that’s about exactly what should happen here as there is no reason whatsoever for Miz to be a threat to Benoit. I’ll take that over another champion losing at least.

Deuce and Domino and Cherry make sure their car is ready. These three are gems, with Deuce being rather annoyed at the possibility that the backstage guy is looking at Cherry.

Maryse, with champagne, welcomes us back from a commercial in French.

Deuce And Domino vs. Adam Evans/John Robinson

Cherry is here too and takes her sweet time taking off the guys’ jackets. Robinson and Deuce start things off and it’s a shot to the mouth to put Robinson down. Domino comes in to talk a bunch of trash as Cole talks about being bullied in high school. It’s off to Evans, who gets kneed in the head and sent outside. Deuce isn’t pleased with Evans being near Cherry so it’s back inside to Domino to keep up the beating. The assisted running boot to the face knocks Evans silly for the pin.

Rating: C-. Again, probably the most entertaining people on the show at the moment. They got to have another complete squash here and it worked out fine, with the focus being on just getting the idea over instead of doing anything important. The division needs someone new and this worked well for what it was supposed to be.

MVP tells Teddy Long that his match with Kane tonight is unsafe and the burns on his back are all Long’s fault. Long: “First of all, I want you to quit breathing on me.” If MVP doesn’t wrestle tonight, he isn’t in the Rumble on Sunday. MVP seems to change his mind.

King Booker vs. Finlay

The Leprechaun pokes his head out during the entrances and Queen Sharmell joins commentary. Booker seems to get in an accidental poke to Finlay’s eye to start so we pause for a bit just a few seconds after the bell. With the eye seemingly ok, Booker takes him down by the arm and starts hitting Finlay in the face. Finlay comes back with his own thumb to the eye and some shots to the throat to put Booker down. There’s the jumping seated senton for two, setting up the chinlock.

Back up and Booker hits his hook kick to the face for two. Finlay isn’t having that and takes him down by the leg to crank away. Some cannonballs onto the leg keep Booker in trouble so Finlay wraps it around the rope. The leglock goes on and you can get the feeling that Finlay likes to hurt people like this. Booker fights up with right hands and a kick to the face to drop Finlay, setting up an elbow drop. They ram heads in the corner though….and the Leprechaun goes after Sharmell. The Leprechaun tries to drag her underneath the ring but Booker makes the save. The brawl is on in the aisle and that’s a double countout/DQ.

Rating: C. There is something about the way Finlay beats people up that makes it so much fun. He just looks mean and it is fun to watch him pull on a limb. I can also go for the idea of not having Finlay lose, as Booker is on a downward trend since he lost the title. Let Finlay get a bit of a boost instead of bringing Finlay down to boost Booker up again for a week or two.

Paul London/Brian Kendrick/Ashley vs. MNM

London takes Nitro down to start as I love how frequently the Brand Extension rules are just forgotten. Nitro can’t do much with London other than sending him to the apron, where Melina breaks up a springboard to put London in trouble. Mercury comes in to take over on London but it’s right back to Nitro for a faceplant.

London can’t quite fight out of the chinlock but he can flip out of a double suplex and bring in Kendrick to pick the pace way up. Kendrick clears the ring but Melina breaks up a dive. That’s fine with Ashley, who spears her down (with a heck of a spear), leaving Kendrick to dropkick Mercury for two. In the melee, the Snapshot is enough to finish Kendrick.

Rating: C. I like both teams so this worked out well. It would be nice to have MNM want to go after the titles not, but I can’t believe that is actually going to happen. This was a fine use of a few minutes though, with talented wrestlers getting the chance to showcase themselves a bit. Commentary even stopped talking about Ashley’s Playboy for a bit to take the match seriously!

Here’s Mr. Kennedy, but first we see the opening video again. Kennedy talks about beating the Undertaker again last week and now it is time to beat Batista again to become World Champion. Kennedy brags about how great he is and how no one can stop him but here is Batista to interrupt. Batista offers him a chance for another slap….and then the gong goes off. Undertaker appears in the ring but his big boot hits Batista by mistake. Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind though, which certainly fits for him.

Maryse tells us to keep watching.

Vladimir Kozlov is in negotiations with all three brands. He would win the Royal Rumble if he had the chance to compete though. Also, he loves WWE.

Kristal comes in to see Teddy Long and hits on him. Long thinks she looks good and she leaves, with Vickie Guerrero replacing her. Vickie needs to talk to him about something but he must be busy with Kristal. Long isn’t sure what to do.

Video of Kane eliminating eleven people from the 2001 Royal Rumble.

Kane vs. MVP

MVP tries to circle him but Kane gets in a shot to the back to cut him down. Some shots to the bad back have MVP in a lot of agony and Kane elbows him in the corner. There’s a knee to the back complete with leg cranking to make things even worse. Kane rips the gear open to get at the bad back a bit more and MVP needs a breather on the floor. Back in and MVP gets in a shot to the face to choke away on the ropes.

Right hands on the mat keep Kane in some trouble and a bit shot puts Kane on the floor. That’s fine with Kane, who hits an uppercut but gets sent into the steps. Back in and Kane unloads in the corner, setting up the side slam to bang up the injuries even more. There’s the top rope clothesline to put MVP on the apron, setting up a dropkick to his back. With nothing else working, MVP grabs a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Mainly a squash here but that isn’t the biggest surprise. The problem is we have established that Kane can dominate MVP and I’m not sure how many more times we need to see it. They did keep it a little bit shorter here though and that is a good idea given what they have done so far.

Post match MVP chairs him down again and grabs a can of gasoline. Kane sits up and kicks him in the face to take it away though, sending MVP running.

Royal Rumble rundown.

Battle Royal

Kane, MVP, Chris Benoit, Miz, King Booker, Finlay

Kane goes straight for MVP for the whole attempted burning alive thing. The brawling continues around the ring with Booker down near the ropes. The Leprechaun slips Finlay the shillelagh to hit Kane in the back and that’s good for the first elimination. Benoit and Booker brawl to the floor without being eliminated, leaving MVP and Miz to not be able to get rid of Finlay.

Everyone gets back in so Miz hits MVP in the back to slow him down. We get some teases of people going through the middle rope before MVP wises up and tries to put Finlay over the top. MVP kicks Finlay out tot he apron as we hear about Shawn Michaels winning the WWF Title at the 1997 Royal Rumble. Finlay backdrops Miz out….and there’s the gong again. Undertaker appears and starts wrecking people….and keeps doing it for several minutes as this kind of keeps going. I’m assuming the match was thrown out somewhere in there.

Rating: D. This was a bunch of sitting around waiting until Undertaker got here and that made for a pretty big waste of time. I’m not sure what they were going for with this, but they could have cut off a few minutes to make it that much better. It just seems like they were out of time and it was a bunch of filler until the end….which went on for a long time too.

A bunch of finishers from Undertaker allow him to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. They had an idea for the show but it really wasn’t working throughout. The big deal was setting up the Royal Rumble and that was fine, as long as you have something that is a little bit more interesting. The show wasn’t very good, but the Royal Rumble is on Sunday and none of this matters as soon as that show starts. Not a good show, and that really doesn’t make a difference.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Armageddon 2006
Date: December 17, 2006
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 8,200
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re wrapping up the pay per view year with a Smackdown offering and it isn’t looking like the most important show. The card features a triple main event, including a Last Ride match, an Inferno match and a tag match with John Cena coming over from Raw as a guest star. I’m not sure if that is going to be enough but they certainly have some star power. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the triple main event, which is nearly half of the card.

Kane vs. MVP

Inferno match, meaning the ring is surrounded by fire and you set your opponent on fire to win. After his intro, we get a video on MVP coming to Smackdown and getting on Kane’s bad side, setting up this match. MVP tries to bail but gets stopped by the flames, meaning it is time for Kane to start hammering away in the corner. A backdrop makes the flames pop up and there’s a forearm to the back of the head, which does nothing to the flames because it isn’t a big crash.

Kane’s superplex is broken up and MVP hits a high crossbody as they continue to use moves they don’t use in regular matches. MVP hits a running boot in the corner but Kane is back with a big boot of his own. The chokeslam connects and Kane rips a turnbuckle pad off…but it puts the flames out when he tries to light it on fire for no apparent reason. Instead Kane hits a side slam and sends MVP outside, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane avoids being sent into the fire and chokes MVP into it for the win.

Rating: D. I’m not sure how much better this could have been as it is the kind of match that does not leave you with many options. They are stuck in the ring and the whole match is designed to tease the fire spot. Throw in the fact that so many of the moves and spots are designed to make the flames go up rather than anything they would usually do. They were trying, but you can only do so much.

Post match, MVP gets extinguished as JBL freaks out a lot.

Teddy Long is having a Christmas party for the Divas and has a present for them: a Naughty or Nice lingerie contest. Good thing they bring that stuff with them I guess.

JBL is still incensed over MVP as we kill off some time for the fire equipment to be removed.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending….but hold on as here is Teddy Long, who is still in the Christmas spirit. Let’s make this a little more fun.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. Hold on again though as Long isn’t done.

Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Dave Taylor/William Regal vs. MNM vs. Hardys

London and Kendrick are defending and this is now a ladder match. I’m not sure what authority Long has over Raw stars appearing in teams that don’t exist anymore but oh well. JBL: “There is nobody better in ladder matches than the Hardys.” This is true as they won….no that was Edge and Christian. Uh….no that one was too. I’m sure they were the best like once or twice or so!

Anyway, it’s a brawl to start until we get the Hardys vs. London/Kendrick showdown, much to the fans’ delight. The Spin Cycle plants Kendrick but the villains come back in to clean house. MNM and the Hardys get in a fight over who gets to bring in the ladders with the Hardys throwing them inside, though managing to avoid the Brits. Poetry In Motion hits Taylor and MNM gives him a Snapshot to make it worse.

Matt whips Kendrick into a ladder (ow) but London dropkicks Jeff off of another ladder. Mercury climbs up so a bunch of people pick up the ladder and drop it, including Mercury, onto the ropes, sending Mercury onto Nitro on the floor. Another Poetry In Motion misses in the corner and only hits the ladder to knock Jeff silly again. London’s climb is cut off in a hurry and Kendrick is pulled down after getting just slightly higher. Matt gets dropped onto a bridged ladder for a top rope double stomp from Kendrick but gets up to stop Jeff from being superplexed onto some ladders.

Instead Jeff turns the ladder into a seesaw, which smashes Mercury’s nose halfway out of the arena, leaving him gushing blood and in no shape to continue. The replay shows Mercury’s head snapping back in a rather scary looking visual. Regal and Taylor get back up to start taking over and suplex London into a ladder in the corner. Matt gets up for a save and neckbreakers Taylor as Jeff brings in another ladder (and you can see the blood pooled up on the floor).

Nitro knocks the ladder out from under Jeff on the floor for another crash and then drops another down onto Regal inside. This time it’s Kendrick making the save so London springboards in with a dropkick to cut Nitro off. London catches Matt on top and hammers away until Matt backdrops him down for another huge crash.

Now it’s Nitro and Jeff’s turn, with Jeff busting out a huge sunset bomb. Matt climbs a pair of ladders but the Brits pull him down in a hurry. A running knee to the head drops Matt and Regal goes up, only to have Kendrick bring him down for a huge crash. London goes up top, punches Matt down, and pulls down the titles to retain.

Rating: A-. It deserves a bit of an upgrade just because of how bad Mercury’s face looked. This was all about one big spot after another and that worked out very well, as you kind of knew these teams would be able to do. Taylor and Regal felt out of their element but you need someone there to offer a change of style. London and Kendrick continue to look unstoppable and the idea of them against the Hardys is rather dream matchish at this point.

Kristal tries out her lingerie and JBL doesn’t seem to remember MVP’s troubles.

Miz vs. Boogeyman

JBL: “You had an inferno match, you had a ladder match and now you have this unfettered jackass.” Miz brags about beating Boogeyman tonight and JBL rants over him, as only Miz can make JBL this incensed. Boogeyman gyrates around to start and knocks Miz outside as JBL tries to figure out why Miz’s hair is cut that way. Cole thinks Miz winning here would be a huge upset. JBL: “Miz being in the ring would be a huge upset. He’s in the ring and I’m upset.” Boogeyman hits a backdrop but Miz hits a quick shot to the face. Miz goes up top, only to dive into a chokebomb (which takes a second to get right) for the pin.

Post match, Miz gets wormed.

Chavo Guerrero dedicates his US Title match to Vickie Guerrero, who thanks him for being a real man.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Chavo Guerrero, with Chavo accusing Benoit of being a woman beater due to accidentally running into Vickie at Survivor Series.

US Title: Chavo Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit

Chavo is defending and has Vickie Guerrero with him. Chavo jumps him to start but Benoit chops away and forearms him in the face. Some right hands keep Chavo down and Benoit throws him outside to keep up the beating. Back in and the rolling German suplexes have Chavo rocked but it’s way too early for the Swan Dive.

Instead Chavo catches him on top for the superplex for two before starting in on the back. The reverse chinlock goes on so Benoit fights up, earning himself another knee to the back to keep him in trouble. Benoit’s Crossface attempt is broken up and Chavo gets to pose a bit. Chavo ties him in the Tree of Woe but a baseball slide only hits post. He’s fine enough to rake the eyes, hit the Eddie dance, and try Three Amigos.

That takes too long as well though as Benoit rolls eight straight German suplexes for a standing ovation. The threat of the Sharpshooter draws in Vickie with the title so Benoit tries it on her, only to get rolled up by Chavo for two. You don’t do that to Benoit, who reverses into the Sharpshooter to retain.

Rating: C+. These two work well together, though I’m not sure how much drama there was in the idea of Chavo winning the title. He has been well built and the story seemed to call for the change, but that is a bit too far to imagine Chavo actually going. Benoit winning is fine too, as he could put over a bigger, or at least more promising, name down the line.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Gregory Helms

Helms is defending. They go technical to start and that means an early standoff. Yang takes him down and goes up but has to bail out of a moonsault attempt. A quick suplex sets up an even more quickly broken chickenwing as Helms sends him outside. Some forearms to the back set up a neck snap across the top, followed by some choking. Yang manages a backdrop to the floor and a dive drops Helms again.

Back in and Helms kicks him down, setting up the chinlock to draw the BORING chants. JBL even acknowledges it and yells at the fans for not getting it (fair enough as it’s not that bad). Yang makes the comeback and hits a spinwheel kick in the corner for his own two. Helms catches him on top and hits a super neckbreaker as the chants continue. A dropkick knocks Helms out of the air and Yang goes up, only to miss a corkscrew moonsault. Helms grabs a yet to be named Codebreaker to retain.

Rating: C+. Pretty good here and the boring chants were fairly ridiculous. The problem is there is no reason to care about the title and WWE has made it even worse. At the end of the day, the title means nothing and the fact that Helms barely ever defends the thing makes it worse. Just saying that Helms has held the title forever isn’t going to make fans care about it. Having matches like this over and over could, but I have no reason to believer that is the case.

We recap Undertaker vs. Mr. Kennedy in the Last Ride match, which feels like the real main event of the show. Kennedy has attacked Undertaker a few times and even busted him open with a microphone. After Kennedy and MVP accidentally conspired to beat Undertaker in a First Blood match at Survivor Series, it is time to end Kennedy once and for all.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Last Ride match, meaning a casket match but with a hearse that has to be driven out of the arena. The hearse is wheeled into the arena and Kennedy gets to promise to beat Undertaker again. Kennedy dodges around to start and the referee bails outside (Why was he in there in the first place?). Undertaker gets sick of the movement and grabs Kennedy by the neck, meaning the beating is on in a hurry.

There’s a toss over the announcers’ table and then another into the apron but Kennedy manages to get in a shot of his own. Kennedy’s dive off the apron is pulled out of the air, with Undertaker tossing him around again. They fight up to the hearse, with Undertaker being driven into the closed door. It’s way too early to get him inside and close the door though, with Undertaker kicking his way out. Kennedy gets dropped onto the steps and they head back inside with Undertaker nailing a superplex.

They’re already back outside with Kennedy getting smart by jumping onto Undertaker’s back for the choking. The unconscious Undertaker is sent inside but comes out the front door to escape and hammer away. Back in and Kennedy grabs a chair to knock Undertaker silly a few times, earning himself some quick situps. Kennedy bails and the chase is on as they head up the set. Undertaker is then thrown off said set, which is quite the crash that lands on a big pad.

We cut to some fans chanting for Kennedy as he puts the unconscious Undertaker inside for the second time. Kennedy gets in the driver’s seat and Undertaker sits up in the back (obvious but it worked). Undertaker pulls him out and hits a chair to the back. Another one to the head busts Kennedy open and there’s a chokeslam onto the roof. The Tombstone onto the roof knocks Kennedy silly and Undertaker puts him inside for the win.

Rating: B. It was violent and pretty definitive, though Undertaker winning the big blowoff in the end didn’t do Kennedy the biggest favors. What matters here though is that Kennedy got to look at least somewhat even in this big of a match against Undertaker. I’m not sure if it lived up to the brutality that JBL promised, but it was the best thing on the show so far and felt like a main event.

Finlay and King Booker promise to not double cross each other. Bickering begins to ensue but Queen Sharmell comes in to say cool it because they need each other. Finlay says he has the Leprechaun and all Booker has is Sharmell. Booker and Sharmell are incensed.

Here’s Santa Claus, sending JBL into a bit about wanting to buy the North Pole and cook the reindeer. Santa says it is cold at the North Pole so it’s time to heat things up here. Therefore, it’s time for the Diva lingerie contest. We have Kristal, Layla, Jillian Hall and Ashley. They all take their time modeling/dancing and the fans are a little more pleased with Layla and Ashley. Everyone winds up winning and Santa disrobes as Big Dick Johnson. Dancing ensues.

We recap Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker. Batista has been dealing with both of them and gets to pick any partner he wants for the match. Guest starring ensued.

Batista/John Cena vs. Finlay/King Booker

Batista has a banged up arm coming in and Queen Sharmell is here with the villains. Cena and Booker get things going with a lockup until Booker drives him into the corner. Some knees to the ribs don’t do much good as Cena armdrags him into an armbar. Batista and Finlay come in with Batista grinding away on a headlock. Finlay gets up a knee in the corner but dives into Batista’s arms.

That means something like a MuscleBuster of all things with Booker breaking up the cover and coming in off the tag. A clothesline gets two on Booker and it’s back to Cena with a bulldog. Finlay has to break up the STFU and the distraction lets Sharmell slip Booker the scepter. A shot to Cena’s throat gives Booker two and a quick cheap shot from the Leprechaun has Cena in even more trouble.

Cena slips away from Booker and grabs a DDT though and they’re both down. The hot tag brings in Batista to clean house and a Boss Man Slam drops Booker. Everything breaks down and Finlay chairs Batista in the leg. The chair is kicked back into Finlay and the leg is fine enough for a spinebuster on Booker. The Batista Bomb is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. I believe the words ho-hum would apply here, as this felt like little more than a house show main event. Seeing Cena and Batista together is cool, but it isn’t like this came off as anything close to feeling like a pay per view main event. It wasn’t a bad match as they kept this short and to the point, but it still wasn’t exactly something that felt like it belonged in this spot save for the star power.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Maybe it was the lower expectations but I had a good time with this one. The opener is the only thing that was particularly bad, and if you ignore the fact that this show means absolutely nothing and was only there because something had to be, you should have some fun with the thing. The ladder match is excellent and the Last Ride match is quite good as well. Good show here, even if it isn’t going to mean a thing in the long term.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 4, 2006
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the way to New Year’s Revolution, which should be its usual riveting self. Odds are we’ll be seeing John Cena vs. Umaga for the title at that show, but first Cena is heading over the Smackdown to guest star in the Armageddon main event. Throw in Ric Flair being attacked (again) and DX has another reason to want to fight Rated-RKO. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of DX getting rid of the Spirit Squad last week with the help of Rick Flair, followed by Rated-RKO destroying Flair later in the night.

Opening sequence.

Here is John Cena to get things going. Cena talks about how sometimes you are not going to be the biggest or the strongest, but last week he marched to the ring to accept a challenge from an undefeated monster. Last week Umaga said something to him (with Cena mocking what he calls gibberish), which Cena thinks was Umaga promising to stand there and stare while letting his manager do everything else.

Cena has a message for Armando Alejandro Estrada: he’s ready to fight right now, and if Umaga isn’t, he’s full of Samoan….and here’s Melina to interrupt. Cena: “Umaga, you look very, very different.” Melina says she isn’t feeling very good tonight but she wanted to remind Cena of his match with Kevin Federline on January 1. Federline is being trained by Johnny Nitro and is Melina’s friend. Cena: “Boys and girls, that is the reason right there you have to practice safe sex.” Cena laughs at the idea of Nitro telling Federline to be a man and wonders if Melina is responsible for Brittney Spears being….well what she is right now.

Melina slaps him so Cena loads up the FU but Chris Masters runs in for the save. Cue Coach to say he sent Masters out here to teach Cena a lesson. Cena: “HE DID SUCH A GREAT JOB!” Coach says we’ll save Cena vs. Umaga for New Year’s Revolution because tonight, Cena is taking the Masterlock Challenge. If Masters wins tonight, he gets……and Cena cuts him off, mocking the boring plan for Masters getting a shot next week. That’s cool with Coach, so let’s have the Masterlock Challenge for the title TONIGHT.

The former Spirit Squad’s Kenny, in regular clothes, comes in to see Rated-RKO. He says the Spirit Squad is dead so he wants to be on their side against DX. Kenny points out that they have security waiting down the hall, but Edge asks why Kenny thinks they’re in their league. Unlike the Spirit Squad, who was put in a crate and shipped off last week, they’ve actually beaten DX.

Lilian Garcia announces that Roddy Piper has undergone surgery for Hodgkin’s lymphoma but he promises to be back fighting soon.

Highlanders vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

The Highlanders are in Piper shirts. Rory ducks a double clothesline to start and it’s a flapjack to Murdoch. Cade gets sent into Murdoch to knock him outside and the Highlanders clear the ring in a hurry. A cheap shot from behind lets Murdoch nail a big boot to put Rory down, leaving Cade to rip open the Piper shirt. Rory gets slapped in the face but Murdoch dives into the raised boot. It’s off to Robbie as everything breaks down until Robbie grabs an O’Connor roll to pin Cade.

Rating: D+. Another short match here, though I was getting worried that they would have the Highlanders lose in their Piper tribute match. Thankfully WWE actually thought it through for a change here and that is a bit of a relief. Neither team is going anywhere at the moment and the Highlanders aren’t going to be a challenge to Rated-RKO but at least they had a one off win here.

Video on Kevin Federline vs. John Cena, which is still certainly a thing.

Victoria vs. Maria

Victoria has a hit list, containing Candice Michelle (check), Maria, Torrie Wilson and Mickie James. Victoria kicks her down to start and finishes with the fireman’s carry spun into the side slam for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Victoria checks Maria off the list and goes after her again. Cue Mickie James for the save but Victoria kicks her in the head and hits the Widow’s Peak to leave her laying.

Earlier today, Cryme Tyme went to a retirement community and sang a holiday medley (Reggie the Red-Faced Crackhead, their version of Silent Night (pimps are mentioned) and Give Us Gold (to the tune of Let It Snow)). Then they try to steal a woman named Mrs. Johnson, but the guy in charge (as played by Kerwin Silfies) says not so fast. Johnson threatens to bust a cap in him.

Jim Duggan and Super Crazy thought that was funny but Shelton Benjamin isn’t impressed. Shelton doesn’t like the reinforcement of stereotypes and that set back race relations 20 years. Super Crazy’s lack of a grasp of English sets up a match next. Shelton says that Crazy can go back to selling fruit after he loses, so Crazy swears at him.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Super Crazy

Before the match, Shelton complains about the racial stereotypes again and promises to send Crazy back to Mexico with a Spanish to English dictionary. Crazy snaps off a headscissors to start but Shelton kicks him in the face. Back up and Crazy avoids the Stinger Splash but misses the moonsault (Locomotion according to JR for a great line). Shelton grabs the exploder for the pin.

Post match here’s Charlie Haas to celebrate with Shelton, who looks rather confused.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Chris Masters

Cena is defending but it’s a Masterlock Challenge instead of a title match. They take their time getting started and Masters gets the hold on so the flailing can begin. Then Cena accidentally crushes the referee in the corner and reverses into one of his own to make Masters tap. Did he even need to tap?

Post challenge, here is Umaga for the brawl and they fight outside and then back inside until security finally keeps them apart. Hot brawl here.

Post break, here’s what you saw pre break.

Viscera hits on Torrie Wilson, who says she should drop Carlito for him. Carlito cuts off the offer of oils and spits the apple in his face, drawing in Ron Simmons for the catchphrase.

DX insists that Ric Flair will be back because what Rated-RKO did last week was unacceptable. They knew what Flair meant to DX because Flair is their personal friend. Rated-RKO took Flair out because they can’t take DX out, so now it is time for them to suffer worse than Flair ever did. HHH didn’t say anything here. It’s a good angle, but I’m trying hard to make myself care about Flair being attacked again.

This Week In Wrestling History: Chris Jericho beats the Rock and Steve Austin in one night to become Undisputed Champion. Oddly enough, not on Peacock.

Carlito vs. Viscera

Torrie is here too as Viscera shoves Carlito down to start. Viscera hammers away to start and adds a running clothesline to break up a springboard. Back up and another springboard is swatted out of the air, only to have Viscera miss a legdrop. Carlito gets knocked down again so Viscera loads up the Visagra. Torrie grabs his lead and, while trying to hold back her broken up, crawls into the corner. That’s enough of a distraction for Carlito to hit a missile dropkick (or close enough as the camera cuts can’t hide how little of it connects), followed by a Lionsault (with the leg barely grazing Viscera’s face) for the pin.

Rating: F. The problem with Viscera continues to be that there is so little that can be done with him. Carlito isn’t the one you pick to put in there with him to make something work either, and the match was pretty much a disaster as a result. It doesn’t help that it was designed to move Carlito and Torrie forward, which shouldn’t need that much effort in the first place.

Post match Torrie kisses Carlito and stays close to him due to the clothes issue (which Lawler LOVES).

Kane is still in See No Evil.

Armando Alejandro Estrada tells Cena that he (Cena) and Umaga can’t touch each other for the rest of the year. Cena grabs him by the neck as Coach comes in and says Alejandro has been talking about how he runs Raw and Coach is nothing. That is too much for Coach (even if Estrada didn’t say any of it) so he makes Cena vs. Estrada next week.

Val Venis is here with the Kiss Cam and brings two girls into the ring for the final kiss of the night. Their first kiss is a peck so the fans boo, followed by a more well received version. Cue Eugene to say he wants a kiss, though he gets a bit too aggressive in his attempts. Val gets taken down for trying to break it up, with Eugene shouting I’M SPECIAL over and over.

DX/Hardys vs. Rated-RKO/MNM

It’s a brawl to start with the villains being sent outside so HHH sends Orton onto the announcers’ table a few times. Back in and HHH chokes Orton in the corner, setting up the tag to Shawn for the chops. HHH comes back in for the right hands, including a big one to the legal Nitro. It’s off to Matt to hammer away on Nitro, followed by Jeff coming in with a top rope ax handle. Nitro gets knocked down in the corner as the fans are all over Edge.

Back from a break with Orton coming in to hammer on Jeff, followed by MNM catapulting him throat first into the rope. Nitro’s breakdancing legdrop lets Edge come in for the chinlock, setting up Orton’s knee drop for two. Jeff fights up and, despite slipping, hits the Whisper in the Wind to take out MNM. Everything breaks down and it’s a triple dive from Shawn and the Hardys. The spinebuster hits Orton but here is Kenny with a chair to Shawn’s head. HHH takes Kenny into the crowd, leaving Edge to spear Matt for the pin.

Rating: C+. They flew through this but it did what it was supposed to do by getting everyone in there at once. Kenny at least did something, though he does not exactly scream being the next big thing. It was a fine way out of something like though, as DX isn’t going to do a job in a fairly meaningless eight man tag.

Post match Kenny gets superkicked into the Pedigree to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped a bit but another Ric Flair Is Broken story and some rather awful/worthless matches in the middle of the show hurt it a lot. Cena vs. Umaga has a lot of potential though and that should be enough to carry us through the next pay per view. We are already at the point where you can guess the pay per card, but there are enough issues to possible result in one final shakeup.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.