Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s a new year and we have a special edition of the show, featuring the Raw Bowl. That means a football themed tag team elimination match, which should be at least interesting. Other than that, we are less than a month away from the Royal Rumble and Shawn Michaels might be on his way back from injury. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the Raw Bowl, complete with a marching band, cheerleaders, and Lawler in a Cleveland Browns jersey.

Smoking Gunns vs. Yokozuna/Owen Hart vs. Razor Ramon/Savio Vega vs. Sycho Sid/1-2-3 Kid

The Gunns’ Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. This is an elimination match and the teams have a time out each. They all have jerseys with special numbers (Vega is Uno, the Kid is 1-2-3, Yokozuna is 641 etc) and the ring has a green mat. As a bonus, commentary is making every football reference they can think of because we have a theme going here. Bart and Hart start in three point stances, with Bart drop toeholding him down.

Billy comes in and, since they have to make contact with each other, Bart tries a hiptoss but Billy sticks the landing. The two of them tag in Hart and Yokozuna, the latter of whom drops him with a shoulder. Vega comes in to face Yokozuna and gets dropped as well, so it’s off to Vega vs. Kid. The running spinwheel kick gives Vega two and Ramon comes in to drop Hart with a right hand. The fast tags continue as Sid and Bart come in for a less than thrilling staredown.

Bart actually takes over and hits a suplex before handing it off to Vega. Hart enziguris Vega and Yokozuna comes in to hammer away as we take a break. We come back with Vega still in trouble as Sid comes in to stomp him down. Vega fights back on the Kid and brings in Ramon, but the Kid calls time out. Since we’ve never actually established what calling time out means, Ramon gives Kid the Razor’s Edge anyway.

Ted DiBiase gets on the apron and gets a flag as a result, which again doesn’t seem to have any meaning. Sid uses the distraction to deck Ramon and put Kid on top for the elimination at 13:25 (as the referee didn’t see Vega calling time out). We take another break and come back with Sid hammering on Bart before Hart gets to do the same. Hart misses a top rope splash though and it’s Billy coming in to clean house.

Everything breaks down and Yokozuna accidentally Banzai Drops Hart, giving Billy the pin at 21:04. Sid stomps away on Billy and Kid adds a running kick in the corner for two. Billy fights out of the chinlock but gets booted in the face. A small package gives Billy two on Sid and the comeback is on with some right hands. Sid cuts that off with a chokeslam (Lawler: “Intentional grounding!”) so Kid goes up, only for Ramon to come back and shove him off the top. Billy steals a rollup pin at 25:33.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of a match that might have been a unique concept but it wasn’t the best execution. At the end of the day, this was quite the mess with too many people running around and the football jokes getting old fast. It’s also not a good sign when one of the rules isn’t really explained, with the timeouts not making a ton of sense. The action was ok, but dang this was an idea that needed another draft.

We get a halftime show, with Michael Hayes saying this is a two minute drill. Jim Ross has a word from (not with) Diesel, who promises to beat up Mabel. Hayes talks about the Royal Rumble and runs down the card, again with the football metaphors.

From In Your House: Season’s Beatings.

Henry Godwinn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

This is a Hog Pen Match, meaning the first to throw the other into a hog pen (with hogs) wins. Hillbilly Jim is the guest referee (that doesn’t seem fair) and Godwinn misses the early throw of the slop. Back in and Godwinn takes over, even tying Helmsley in the ropes for some slop to the face. Helmsley takes over and we take a break, coming back with Godwinn being whipped into the hog pen gate.

Helmsley is backdropped onto the edge of the pen but gets back down and drops Godwinn again. They head back to the ring where Godwinn charges into a boot in the corner. A wheelbarrow faceplant gets Godwinn out of trouble and he whips Helmsley over the corner. We take another break and come back with Godwinn hitting a Slop Drop up near the pen. Helmsley is right back with a backdrop into the pen for the win at 8:58 (the original time, which was heavily extended on this broadcast).

Rating: C-. Yeah do you get the concept here? This was supposed to be Godwinn’s specialty match, despite never seeing it before or after this time. At the end of the day though, this was all about who could backdrop the other one into the mud. The idea of seeing Helmsley get dirty was fun, but I’m going to need a bit more than that. Or a lot more really.

Post match Godwinn throws Helmsley into the pen as well, which can’t be good as Helmsley’s back is cut open.

Diesel vs. King Mabel

Diesel whips him into the ropes, hits a big boot, and gets the pin at 8 seconds. Better than Summerslam!

Post match Diesel Jackknifes Sir Mo and poses for his pyro. Diesel leaves with Miss Raw Bowl.

The Brooklyn Brawler gives the Smoking Gunns….the Lombardi Trophy. Ok that’s funny. The Gunns give him a Lipton ice tea bath.

We run down some Royal Rumble participants, including the debuting Vader.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

We wrap it up with Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room, with the Huckster and Nacho Man saying they can’t do any of these new moves. They can however, POSE!

Overall Rating: D+. Other than avoiding the threat of having to see another long Diesel vs. Mable match, this was a pretty bad week for Raw. The Royal Rumble is coming up and that should help a lot, but there is only so much that can be done when the feature match was a long football themed mess. They were trying something new here, but that doesn’t mean it was a good idea.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: November 27, 1995
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 4,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Things have certainly changed a lot in a week as Shawn Michaels is now on the shelf with a head injury and Diesel is suddenly awesome as a much more realistic character. Tonight is more of a lighter show though as Undertaker is trying to get back the golden chain that Kama melted the urn into because that’s still a thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with a somber look back at Shawn’s injury.

Opening sequence.

Rad Radford vs. Ahmed Johnson

Radford (Louis Spicolli) hammers away to start and gets dropped with an elbow to the jaw. We cut to Bob Backlund walking around the crowd campaigning for President (thank goodness this wasn’t during the Trump campaign) as the guys head outside with Radford sending Ahmed into the apron. Back in and a scissors kick drops Rad and a spinebuster sets up the Pearl River Plunge to end this quick.

Lawler goes to talk to Ahmed and makes some lame you’re stupid jokes before Dean Douglas comes down to say the road to superstardom takes place in his classroom. Ahmed wants to go right now but nothing happens.

We get an update on Shawn, who was attacked by a bunch of thugs back in October, leaving him with a severe concussion. Things got even worse at Survivor Series when his head was banged up even more, setting up last week’s enziguri to really put him out.

Aja Kong/Tomoko Watanabe vs. Alundra Blayze/Kyoko Inoue

O…….k. Blayze is Women’s Champion and Kong is a monster who beat Blayze at Survivor Series. It’s a brawl to start and they actually CUT OFF THE MERCHANDISE PLUG. It’s Kong vs. Inoue to start with Aja running her over in the corner and hitting a splash for no cover. Instead it’s off to Watanabe who is quickly caught in a surfboard. Blayze comes in and is quickly ignored to talk about an online chat with Mr. Perfect. The fast tags continue as Kong suplexes Inoue for two as we take a break.

Back with Watanabe superplexing Inoue for two but Kong breaks up Blayze’s German suplex. Instead a missile dropkick puts Kong down but a second attempt misses, only to have Kong miss a middle rope splash. Kong blocks a powerbomb attempt so Vince starts talking about, for reasons I don’t want to know, Kong being an advocate of safe sex, though unlike Princess Diana, she won’t be on a Norwegian condom commercial. Lawler: “What are you talking about McMahon?” Kong backfists Inoue for the pin.

Rating: C. This didn’t go anywhere and was really just everyone bouncing around Kong. For some reason this never went anywhere as Kong would have one more match and then never be seen again. It was a cool change of pace but that doesn’t mean it’s something I’d want to see every week.

We recap Diesel destroying Bret and the referees on Sunday and his comments the next night.

Here’s Brother Love of all people to interview Bret Hart. This feels so totally out of place that I don’t know where to start but at least it gets Bret back on TV. Love talks about Diesel and of course won’t let Bret get in a word (Brother Love trademark). He brings up Undertaker, who he brought into the WWF (which feels like forever ago at this point) and Owen Hart as potential challengers but won’t let Bret respond. Bret finally grabs the mic and says he’s ready for Bulldog until Bob Backlund runs out to put him in the crossface chickenwing. Love and that piano music just do not need to be here and it shows badly.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. John Crystal

The announcers talk about Bret being attacked as Helmsley finishes with the Pedigree in just over a minute.

Owen Hart has put out an open contract for a match at In Your House.

Kama vs. Undertaker

And never mind as Kama is on crutches so we need a replacement.

Sir Mo vs. Undertaker

Undertaker still has his big gray mask on. Ring announcer: “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, THE UNDERTAKER!” For those of you unfamiliar with Mo, just picture the most worthless person called a wrestler this side of Eva Marie. Mo sends him outside to start so Undertaker grabs DiBiase by the throat, only to have Kama come over and save his boss. Vince thinks he sees Mabel coming down as we take a break. Back with Undertaker sitting up as there’s no Mabel in sight. Undertaker gets all ticked off and stares at DiBiase, which sends Ted and Kama bailing to the back. The chokeslam ends Mo with ease.

Rating: D-. Mo sucks and I don’t know what else there is to say here. This was a pretty lame bait and switch, especially when Kama never actually had his big blowoff with Undertaker. Kama would leave the company soon after this with the Royal Rumble being his last major appearance for over a year.

Post match Undertaker gets the chain back but Mabel and Yokozuna come out to steal it right back. Can we please get to Wrestlemania so Mankind can debut and make this interesting?

A preview of next week’s show wraps it up.

Overall Rating: D+. They really can’t string two good shows together these days. Last week was great and this week featured a total of nothing interesting, save for a decent women’s match that meant absolutely nothing. They hadn’t figured out the formula yet and it was showing badly. Nitro kicking into mega high gear would do wonders for Raw but we’re a long way off from that.

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