http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-out-of-many-one/

Taking a look at what Sunday’s main event meant and some of the matches it replaced.

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 3, 2002
Location: American Airlines Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 7,800
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re at an interesting place here as it seems that we’re gearing up for Steve Austin/Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero/Chris Benoit though Benoit isn’t quite ready to get back in the ring after his neck injury. Unfortunately the NWO is still running around and that’s not good for anyone, especially the people actually on the team. Let’s get to it.

Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Benoit and Eddie are in the back with the boss saying he’s got a lot to announce in the ring. If Austin shows up, Anderson is assigned with telling Austin to find him in the ring. Austin doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who is going to show up and go to the boss’ office but whatever. About fifteen cops follow Flair, Benoit and Eddie to the ring.

Opening sequence.

Here are Flair and the talented young’uns for the long opening chat. After a quick look back at Austin getting beaten down, Benoit gives the obvious explanation: Austin put him out for a year and it’s revenge time. That’s one of the few logical things I’ve heard on this show lately and it’s such a relief. Eddie says his title was stolen from him last week and it made him feel like less of a Latino man.

Then he gave Austin a frog splash and the blood started flowing again. Flair: “You are so cool.” As for tonight, Austin isn’t wrestling because he’s benched. That brings us Austin on the screen with an unconscious Arn Anderson. Austin (with bulging veins like I’ve never seen him have) wants Benoit or Eddie tonight but Flair says neither is available.

That’s fine with Austin because he can just fight Flair one on one. If Austin wins, he’s off the bench but if he loses, he’s back on the bench. So what does Flair have to gain here? The match is made anyway but Flair says it’s going to be a pure wrestling match. Austin is cool with that but has a question: what is a Nature Boy? Actually never mind as Austin has to stomp Anderson down some more and relieve himself on Arn’s shirt. If this is the best they can come up with for Austin, he might as well just walk now.

Hardcore Title: Bradshaw vs. Steven Richards

Richards is defending, neither gets an entrance and Jackie is guest referee because we’re in Texas and that’s going to make the fans care. Bradshaw kicks him in the face and hits a pumphandle slam before hog tying Steven. Now it’s time for a saddle and a big pair of horns because IT’S TEXAS YA’LL! Some trashcan lid shots get Steven out of trouble (apparently Bradshaw sucks at knots) but the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the title. Spike Dudley tried to win the title in there too but it really didn’t seem important enough to mention at the time.

Justin Credible and Crash fail at title defenses. Bradshaw winning the title might have meant something if Big Show hadn’t recently pinned him in a nothing match.

Kevin Nash gives the NWO a speech when Goldust comes in, dressed as Coach (meaning in a collared Raw shirt). He wants on the team so Nash says the winner of X-Pac and Goldust can be on the team.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Goldust vs. X-Pac

The X-PAC SUCKS chants are out in full force early on tonight and Goldust makes the fans happy with a quick stomping. He rakes the face but X-Pac’s spinwheel kick drops him. The Bronco Buster misses and Goldust hammers in some right hands to the head. Instead Goldust hits his own Bronco Buster, which would have been a much bigger deal about six years earlier. A second attempt is countered with a low blow (not a DQ due to storyline necessity) and the X-Factor sends X-Pac on in the tournament.

Rating: D. So we’ll ignore the X-PAC SUCKS chants and keep the NWO going because that’s what the fans want to see. In theory this is setting up Goldust and Booker teaming up to fight the power, though that’s assuming you consider the NWO any kind of power in the first place. The team is at least stable (for the moment) but more than one interesting member might help them out a bit.

Video on last week’s ladder match.

Rob Van Dam (who is actually shorter than Coach) thinks this will be his summer. Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar come up to laugh at Rob, who will be Lesnar’s latest victim in their tag match tonight. Lesnar going after the Intercontinental Title would be a good upgrade for him, though the booking might be a bit tricky.

Jeff Hardy plays guitar and is all depressed when Matt Hardy comes up. Matt: “What are you doing?” Jeff: “Just playing the guitar.” Jeff wants more out of life and seems bored. The extreme is gone and they’re hypocrites. Maybe he should take a bunch of stuff and screw up a pay per view main event. Or buy a compound and take over a bad wrestling show where he can box a kangaroo.

Flair wants more stipulations in the contract for the match with Austin (There was a contract?). Like, if he beats Austin, Steve becomes Austin’s personal assistant. That’s not all though: if Austin throws a single punch, he’s disqualified. Austin comes in and signs without reading it. That’s really, really stupid and not something Austin would do.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Terri

Trish is defending and this is a lingerie match so Lawler can freak out even more. Trish….I think misses an elbow to start and Terri isn’t sure what to do so she just steps to the side. A high crossbody (actually not horrible) gets two on the champ as Lawler is basically begging for clothing to come off. Trish loads up a powerbomb and we get all the required camera shots until Trish FINALLY hits the bulldog to retain. This was actually worse than you would expect as it’s clear that Terri has even less business being in a ring than most of the horrible non-wrestlers.

Post match Molly Holly comes out with brass knuckles and is nice enough to wait until Trish is ready to put up the belt like a shield. A shot to the head lays Molly out and Trish takes off her underwear to reveal a thong. What exactly that does for Trish isn’t clear but this division wasn’t exactly about common sense.

Arn is furious, as he should be. Benoit comes in and toilet cleaning jokes are made.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero/Brock Lesnar

Eddie starts but changes places with Brock without a tag. That means a double stomping for Bubba, who walks into something like an AA. We officially start with Eddie pounding Bubba down in the corner, who comes back with that good looking side slam for two. Lesnar comes in and it’s still so strange to see him in the midcard like this. Like he’d ever associate with anyone at this level today.

A DDT gets two on Brock so it’s back to Rob, who is promptly powerslammed for two. Van Dam spin kicks Eddie down and it’s back to Bubba for a big backdrop. Everything breaks down and Brock gets thrown with a release German suplex to scare the heck out of Heyman in a bit that shouldn’t be as funny as it is.

It’s too early for a table as Brock decks Bubba, setting up Eddie for a slingshot hilo into a seated Blockbuster (that’s a new one). The Bubba Bomb drops Lesnar though and it’s a double tag to Eddie vs. Rob with the big monkey flip sending Eddie flying. Everything breaks down (again) again and Brock misses a charge into the corner but Heyman breaks up the Five Star. Eddie comes in off the top with the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C. This was messy as it felt like it was about three minutes too long and was spot after spot with no time to breathe. Lesnar was clearly in over his head here too as he wasn’t sure where to go after he finished whatever he was doing at the time. He’s young though and matches against anyone with experience will help him more than anything. Cut this down a bit and give us a little more down time and it’s a better match.

Booker thinks he would be a better king than William Regal because his side won the Revolutionary War. If anyone can explain to me why Booker is stuck in a midcard heel stable without some form of “well it was all we could think of”, you’re smarter than I am.

We look at the Tough Enough II finale. This would be the one where there were two female winners despite almost no mention of the “one man, one woman winner” from the first season. It says a lot when the host seemed confused by the result too, though the finalists seemed to know as the second female winner was looking anxious at the reveal.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Booker T. vs. William Regal

Non-title. Regal takes him to the mat as you would expect, followed by a shoulder block for two. The knee trembler gets the same but Booker chops him back and gets two off the ax kick. Regal goes outside and grabs a chair and the European Title. The referee gets rid of the first but Booker uses the belt for the easy pin.

Rating: C-. Two talented hands having a match for the sake of having a match, meaning no one cared. The European Title means nothing and the NWO is just there so why should anyone care about either of these two advancing to the final eight that they only have a prayer of winning?

Booker does a Spinarooni.

Tommy Dreamer gets sick in a bucket at the thought of having to face Undertaker.

WWE World Title: Undertaker vs. Tommy Dreamer

Undertaker is defending and Dreamer brings the bucket with him because we need this gag to continue. Dreamer gets sick again so Undertaker freaks out, allowing Tommy to get in some shots to the head. A powerslam on the floor makes Dreamer sick again and this is hard to watch. Undertaker elbows him in the face a few times and a chokeslam sets up the dragon sleeper to retain.

Post match Undertaker pours the bucket on Dreamer but here’s Jeff Hardy to dropkick Undertaker into the contents. I can’t stand this kind of stuff and it was one of the worst things Raw has done in awhile.

Back from a break and Undertaker beats up Matt to send a message to Jeff.

Here’s Kevin Nash for the big announcement: there’s a new member of the NWO and it’s…..Shawn Michaels, giving us five members with three active wrestlers. Shawn doesn’t talk or anything but the fans go nuts for his appearance.

Debra reads the contract and finds out that Flair is Austin’s assistant if Austin wins.

Steve Austin vs. Ric Flair

Punches are illegal and the loser has to be the winner’s personal assistant. They go to the mat to start and Austin can handle himself just fine down there, as is almost always the case. Back up and WOO is met with a middle finger. A half crab has Flair in trouble as I begin to question the logic of making your most popular wrestler work a style completely against his normal pace. It’s working well enough here but how bad could this be with someone other than Austin?

They chop it out and Austin chokes off the Thesz press for a change of pace. Here’s Chris Benoit and of course there’s no one to count a cover off the Stunner. Since this referee is especially stupid, Eddie runs in for a low blow and frog splash. Back from a break with Austin being sent out to the floor where he backdrops Flair again.

As Austin throws more chops, JR thinks Flair told Benoit and Guerrero to come in. Ric sneaks in a right hand and Austin sells it like he’s been shot. It’s time to go after the knee with the Figure Four going on in a hurry. Austin turns it over for the break and Flair gets slammed off the top. Some chops and pokes to the eye don’t matter much as Austin Stuns him for the fast pin.

Rating: B. Sometimes you just need two talented guys to go out and have a good match. This was a flashback for Austin as wrestled a technical style for years so it’s hardly like asking him to do something he’s never heard of before. Thankfully they didn’t go overboard with teasing right hands and Austin threw the chops like he was supposed to. Benoit and Eddie didn’t play too big of a roll either and Austin gets to one up the boss one more time.

Another Stunner and beer drinking end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s been a better effort made to push the strong main events lately and that’s almost always going to help bail out a lackluster show. Austin is starting to get some steam back but this personal assistant thing is going to get old in a hurry. Benoit and Eddie waiting in the wings is a great thing though and Austin should be able to have great matches with both of them at the drop of a hat. Actually I know he could with Eddie as I saw them fight at a house show a few days after this. Anyway, better show here but the midcard is still really needing some work.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2016
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re past the Cell but since it’s a holiday, tonight might feel like an even more important show that we saw last night. In this case, that might be due to Goldberg appearing as we’re now less than three weeks away from his showdown with Brock Lesnar at Survivor Series 2016. Let’s get to it.

We open with Goldberg, who gets the full walking entrance. Before he can say much though, Paul Heyman interrupts. Heyman knows he isn’t a physical threat to Goldberg but he’s willing to get inside the ring. There’s no way he would get into this ring without significant backup because Brock wants to fight tonight.

Goldberg is more than happy with this and takes off the jacket (that man just has the look that suggests he could fight anybody) as Lesnar’s music starts up. Of course that’s not happening tonight but Heyman realizes this could go badly for him. Cue Rusev of all people to praise Goldberg before challenging him to a fight. A few knees to the ribs and a Jackhammer later, Rusev is down. A weak spear takes Heyman down as well and Goldberg gets to pose.

We look at last night’s Universal Title match.

Enzo Amore vs. Luke Gallows

This is a Trick or Street Fight, meaning there are a bunch of Halloween themed weapons at ringside. Enzo and Cass come out as Buzz Lightyear and Woody because the world is smiling on us tonight. The pre-match speech hears Enzo say that Cass has a friend in him the beating will last to infinity and beyond. Cass: “There’s a snake in my boot!” Gallows throws him to the floor to start but gets beaten with a plastic skeleton. A trip to the bucket of apples has Gallows in trouble and we take a break.

Back with Gallows shoving pumpkin in Enzo’s face and throwing jack o’lanters at him for fun. A few orange kendo stick shots and a bulldog have Gallows in trouble and a pie to the face blinds Anderson. Cass kicks him through a table and puts a pumpkin (mostly) on Gallows’ head. The DDG sends Gallows chest first into a pumpkin (his head might have been a foot away from the mat) for the pin at 8:00.

Rating: B. Yeah the ending was horrible but this was exactly what this match should have been. The Buzz Lightyear stuff had me rolling and the ending being that botched actually kind of worked in something like this. It’s not like this match means anything so just turn your brain off and have fun with it.

Heyman leaves in an ambulance.

Cruiserweight Title: TJ Perkins vs. Brian Kendrick

Kendrick is defending and Roman Reigns says this is being pushed too hard. Before the match, Kendrick says he taught everyone that he doesn’t need help to win. Kendrick: “That’s psychology.” Last night he played on TJ’s emotions so tonight, TJ better have a plan to get the title back. Perkins starts fast with the fireman’s carry enziguri for two and we take an early break.

Back with Kendrick losing control of a chinlock and getting dropkicked in the back of the head. The first kneebar sends Kendrick over to the ropes. I might buy that as a possible ending if it wasn’t done in EVERY TJ PERKINS MATCH. A hurricanrana off the apron out to the floor sends both guys crashing outside….where Kendrick takes the countout at 6:30.

Rating: D+. OH MY GOODNESS STOP DOING THIS STUPID MATCH. No one cared the first time, fewer people cared the second time, and then the last two matches have been some of the least interesting things I’ve ever seen. This division has been so horribly botched and now it looks like we’re getting ready for Perkins vs. Kendrick V. My goodness this isn’t even funny anymore.

Perkins gives Kendrick the kneebar on the floor.

Mick Foley thinks Negan got the idea for Lucille from Cactus Jack. Braun Strowman comes up and says he wants to be part of Team Raw at Survivor Series. He’s tired of these lame handicap matches and now he wants real competition. Mick: “Is that a threat? Because if it is…..it’s working.” Foley puts Braun in a battle royal for a spot on the team. That seems to please the monster for now.

Here’s Foley to talk about last night’s show with a focus on the Universal Title match. Everything that Owens and Jericho did last night was legal but it all left a bad taste in Foley’s mouth. Jericho and Owens come out to brag about getting into the Cell last night and walking out with the title.

That win means they should be anchoring the Survivor Series team because they’re the top two guys on Raw. They laugh at Foley and bring up him losing the Cell match against HHH right here in Hartford, Connecticut. Foley gets in Owens’ face to yell about how much talent he has but Jericho keeps interfering. Jericho was standing there with a key around his finger and that’s what people are going to see on the WWE Network in eighteen years. Jericho: “Lock it in man.”

That’s enough for Foley, who says Stephanie only wanted Owens for Raw. However, Foley is going to put them both on the team along with another guy he can trust. That wouldn’t be just any guy, but rather THE guy. Reigns comes out and praises Foley’s pumpkin shirt while saying Owens and Jericho look like Spongebob and Patrick.

Roman was going to dress up like a stupid idiot but the store was out of Jericho costumes. Jericho teases putting someone on the List but NO ONE GOES ON THE LIST TONIGHT. Chris doesn’t like anyone here in the United States but he would still be a better US Champion than Reigns. That sounds good to Foley so the title match is made. To be fair that’s the only title Jericho has never won.

Package on Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks.

Battle Royal

Sami Zayn, Braun Strowman, Darren Young, Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, Titus O’Neil, R-Truth, Jinder Mahal, Goldust, Cesaro, Sheamus, Neville

The winner is on Team Raw with Reigns, Jericho and Owens. A bunch of people go after Strowman to start but he quickly eliminates Truth and Dallas. Neville and Sheamus start double teaming but the Brogue Kick knocks Braun through the ropes instead of over them and we take a break.

Back with several names having been eliminated during the break. Sheamus gets rid of Young and Sami kicks Titus out. Cesaro throws Sheamus out but gets eliminated by Strowman. Braun throws Neville out as well and it’s down to Strowman and Sami. Some strikes have Braun in trouble but he throws Sami onto his shoulders. We get the Benoit/Big Show choke on the ropes with Brayn being pulled over the ropes, only to easily power Sami up and throw him out for the final elimination at 8:20.

Rating: D. This was exactly what it needed to be with Sami putting up a fight but Strowman cleaning house and basically dominating as he should have. They’ve done a great job of making Strowman out to be someone special and even if it’s just to be fed to another monster (like Brock), it still does its job. Bad match, good storytelling.

Emmalina video.

It’s New Day costume time….and all three are different variations of Charles Wright (Big E. as Kama, Woods as Papa Shango and Kofi as Godfather). They’re looking ahead to the future because they’re officially the captains of the Raw Survivor Series tag team. That means the power of positivity vs. the power of cheese and crackers. They’re not sure about the rest of their opponents because Shane and Bryan haven’t announced the rest of the lineup. Woods is a bit scared of American Alpha and they can’t actually come up with any insults for them. Not that it matters because New Day ROCKS.

Rich Swann/Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander vs. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Daivari gets his arm worked over to start before it’s quickly off to Nese vs. Alexander with Cedric being slammed face first into the barricade. A chinlock doesn’t last long and the hot tag brings in Rich to clean house. Swann’s rolling splash gets two and everyone winds up on the floor for a double dive. Rich kicks Nese in the face and a jackknife cover gets the pin at 6:31.

Rating: D+. I’m out of ways to complain about the same problems so go read one of the old ratings and meet me at the next segment.

We look back at the opening segment.

Here’s Charlotte for her address as champion. She calls the fans peasants and promises to lead the women’s team to victory against Team Smackdown and its captain Nikki Bella. Charlotte is ready to take on all of the Smackdown women but thinks there’s a weak link on her team and her name is Bayley.

Cue Bayley, who says she’s glad Charlotte called her out here. Seeing last night’s main event choked her up and she wants to congratulate Charlotte on her win. Unfortunately she’s also become the biggest jerk and the kind of champion Bayley never wants to be. Charlotte says this isn’t NXT anymore and she sees a glorified fan looking back at her. Therefore, tonight Bayley has a match with one of her teammates.

Bayley vs. Nia Jax

Charlotte is on commentary. Nia starts fast with a shoulder breaker and throws Bayley around a bit before grabbing a bearhug. Bayley reverses into the guillotine but Nia is a learning monster and drives her into the buckle for the break. Some kicks to the legs and a few dropkicks stagger Jax, only to have the standing Vader splash crush Bayley. Instead of the legdrop, Nia goes to the middle rope, only to have to fight out of a super Bayley to Belly. Bayley comes up holding her knee and a ram into the barricade makes it even worse. The knee seems to be fine as Nia hits the Samoan drop for the pin at 5:52.

Rating: C-. This was just a step ahead of a squash and another example of how Raw looks completely dominant against Smackdown, assuming the power of being FEARLESS overcomes Nia. Seriously would that surprise you at this point? Anyway, not bad here and a good sign that Nia keeps dominating like this.

Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Shining Stars

Epico is part of an early uppercut train as the fans call Sheamus a shame. The cousins start taking over on Cesaro with a dropkick and sunset flip for two. That means some PUERTO RICO chants….from the cousins but they do in fact exist. The tag brings in Sheamus to throw Primo to the floor and give Epico the ten forearms to the chest. The Cloverleaf makes Epico tap at 4:06.

Rating: D. In case you didn’t get the idea, Sheamus and Cesaro can work together very well but they don’t like each other too much. I don’t know if they’ve explained that just yet because they’ve only done the same idea for a month now. At least they didn’t just give them another shot at the titles right off the bat.

Earlier today, Golden Truth went to a haunted house and shenanigans ensue.

Jericho and Owens talk about the US Title match with Chris suggesting that Kevin be out there for some help. Owens is cool with the idea and thinks they can go get…….IT.

US Title: Chris Jericho vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending and we get some Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Jericho gets in a shot off the middle rope. They head outside with Owens throwing the weakened champ into the post as we take a break. Back with Jericho in control until he misses a charge in the corner.

Roman hits his string of clotheslines but the Superman Punch misses. The Lionsault hits knees so Jericho opts for the Walls in the middle of the ring. Roman powers out of that (duh) and grabs a sitout powerbomb for two more. Owens’ distraction doesn’t work and now the Superman Punch connects. The spear looks to finish but Owens comes in for the DQ at 14:50.

Rating: C. This was fine, though the ending wasn’t exactly a secret. You knew they weren’t going to change the title the night after Reigns successfully defended inside the Cell but at least Jericho gave him a good match. Owens being out there telegraphed the ending but we didn’t get a clean ending and that’s the right call.

Post match the beatdown is on until Seth Rollins comes out for the save. Rollins and Reigns share a staredown so maybe they’ll get back together for Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C-. I always forget how absolutely draining these post pay per view Raw’s are. That’s over seven hours of TV in two days, not even counting Smackdown tomorrow night. The good thing is the show wasn’t really that bad and set up most of the Raw teams before we get to Survivor Series. I liked some of the matches to go with the storytelling and that’s what matters at the end of the day. Not bad but more proof that the show needs to be shorter.

Results

Enzo Amore b. Luke Gallows – DDG

TJ Perkins b. Brian Kendrick via countout

Braun Strowman won a battle royal last eliminating Sami Zayn

Rich Swann/Lince Dorado/Cedric Alexander b. Ariya Daivari/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak – Spinning kick to Nese’s head

Nia Jax b. Bayley – Samoan drop

Sheamus/Cesaro b. Shining Stars – Cloverleaf to Epico

Roman Reigns b. Chris Jericho via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 27, 2002
Location: Skyreach Centre, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
Attendance: 9,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Things are getting a bit more interesting around here but there’s a lot of bad still going on as well. Possibly above all else though, it seems that people like Eddie Guerrero and Rob Van Dam are moving up towards the top of the card, which is the most important thing that could happen at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with a big deal as Chris Benoit makes his first appearance in nearly a year after neck surgery. JR: “To these fans, Chris Benoit is bigger than Wayne Gretzky in Edmonton.” I’m only a casual hockey fan but I’m pretty sure that’s WAY off. Benoit says he was drafted to Smackdown but there was no way he was missing being here in his hometown. Before Benoit can give his reason for being here, Eddie Guerrero cuts him off.

Eddie says he’s the only one with charisma and Latino Heat but he’s glad to see Benoit again. Since Chris has been gone, Eddie has won the Intercontinental Title and took out Steve Austin, which Benoit has never done. Benoit isn’t impressed with Eddie hitting Austin and then running but here’s Ric Flair to cut off a fight.

Flair accuses Benoit of causing this because he’s a typical Canadian. That’s the kind of basic heel insult that is always going to work no matter what. Flair asks if the fans want to see Benoit vs. Guerrero or Austin walking down the aisle tonight. Well too bad because Austin’s wife had a family emergency and can’t be here. Benoit isn’t wrestling either because he’s a Smackdown guy. Unless he’s got a ticket, get out of Ric’s ring. So a ticket lets you get in the ring. Good to know. Security takes Benoit away.

European Title/Women’s Title: William Regal/Molly Holly vs. Spike Dudley/Trish Stratus

They loved this double title match gimmick. Regal and Trish are defending and only one title can change hands. Spike goes right after Regal to start and mostly botches a top rope seated senton, which looked more like a Rough Ryder. A headscissors sends Regal over to the corner and it’s off to the women. That means some Canadian fire as Trish hammers away to keep the crowd fired up. It’s clear that WWE knows how to give the fans something special like having Benoit and Trish in the first two segments but they so rarely do it. Molly gets in some forearms of her own in the corner but a quick backslide retains Trish’s titles.

Rating: D. Well that happened. They did the right thing by not changing the titles here but sweet goodness the European Title is about as worthless of a belt as I can remember seeing. If Regal vs. Spike in a series of matches that peak at three minutes is the best they can do, the title can’t last much longer.

Molly hits Trish with Regal’s knuckles.

Steven Richards says Jazz is out with a knee injury but she’s recovering nicely. Jacqueline comes in to laugh at Steven for calling Jazz cute and cuddly. Steven thinks Jacqueline has a crush on her so she DDTs him on the floor for two. Shawn Stasiak and the Big Boss Man come in and brawl, leaving interviewer Terri to become champion. The reign lasts all of ten seconds as Steven rolls her up to get it back. You would think doing the same joke night after night would have gotten old over a year ago but you would be wrong.

The NWO is getting warmed up when Kevin Nash comes in. If Booker and X-Pac lose their match tonight, they’re off the team. Booker wants his old theme music back. Goldust is shown eavesdropping from a tub.

X-Pac/Booker T. vs. Hardy Boyz

If the NWO team loses, they’re out of the group, which would leave Big Show and Kevin Nash as the whole lineup. X-Pac kicks Matt in the face a few times to start but the middle rope legdrop gives Matt two. It’s off to Jeff vs. Booker with the latter taking the Whisper in the Wind. Matt clotheslines the NWO and everything breaks down with Jeff cleaning house. Booker gets in an ax kick but X-Pac makes the blind tag and hits the X Factor for the pin. For some reason Booker is annoyed, even though he was the one not paying attention.

Rating: D. This is a match that did in fact happen. Really there’s just nothing else that can be said about so many of these matches on Raw as there’s no time to go anywhere and we’re in and out in a few minutes. Booker being in the NWO is fine but the big deal is when he goes against them and turns into one heck of a face. He’s certainly got the in ring ability to back it up.

Paul Heyman tries to go into the trainer’s room to see Trish but runs into Bubba Ray. Bubba beats Heyman up and talks about wanting to do this for years.

Tommy Dreamer is in the ring and I hope this goes quick. He tries to get a bite of a fan’s hot dog but spills it on the floor. Dreamer eats it anyway because he’s gross and this is a really dumb story. Cue Undertaker to force Dreamer to drink tobacco juice (he likes it) and crushes his throat with a chair. For some reason, this takes over ten minutes.

Heyman gives Brock Lesnar a pep talk.

Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar

Bubba tries a new strategy with Brock by hitting him right in the face just after the opening bell. Amazingly enough it doesn’t break Brock’s jaw and he sends Bubba flying, much to Heyman’s delight. After a quick trip to the floor, Bubba scores with the elbow to the head and a neckbreaker for two.

Bubba has to fight out of a bearhug (with Lesnar lifting him off the ground like he’s the Hurricane) but gets caught in an overhead belly to belly. A flapjack has Lesnar in trouble but the side slam only gets two. The Bubba Bomb should have the pin so Heyman offers a distraction. Lesnar splashes Heyman by mistake but the F5 finishes a few seconds later.

Rating: C-. It’s a good idea to have someone get in some offense on Lesnar but that’s too much selling for a monster who has only been around for a few months. Bubba is a good challenge for Lesnar but Brock needs to move up the ladder a little bit faster. That Hardys feud went on too long and this needs to go a lot faster. Entertaining little match though.

Raven of all people says Steve Austin is in pain and his reflection is always looking at him in a mirror. Austin’s reflection is that of a troubled, tormented soul but this is his destiny. That’s quite the odd cameo.

Bradshaw vs. Big Show

In theory, Show is out of the NWO if he loses here. JR says this won’t be pretty and I can’t say I disagree so hopefully it’s pretty short. Bradshaw goes smart by taking out Show’s legs and pounding away. The forearms to the back don’t have much effect as Show runs Bradshaw over without much effort. They slug it out and the Clothesline only puts Show on the ropes. A chokeslam ends Bradshaw in less than two minutes. I mean, I know Raw is dying for stars and everything and they had put some effort into Bradshaw but the right move has to be to have Big Show nearly squash him clean.

Booker doesn’t like X-Pac stealing his pin earlier. Goldust, in NWO paint, comes in to applaud. X-Pac accuses him of disrespecting the colors but Booker says it makes him look like a freaky Oreo cookie. Booker thinks it’s funny but X-Pac runs off to tell Nash what’s going on. They couldn’t make this team any more lame if their lives depended on it.

Al Snow and the Tough Enough finalists are at the World in New York and we have arm wrestling. Jake and Jackie win if you remember their names for some reason.

Rob Van Dam congratulates Terri for winning the Hardcore Title. He’ll win the Intercontinental Title later tonight because no one gets as high as RVD.

Howard Finkel arrives late and disappoints Coach by not being Steve Austin.

Crash Holly vs. Goldust

Crash gets two off a dropkick and cradle but the Curtain Call finishes him in a hurry.

Post match Nash comes out to go after Goldust but beats up Crash instead.

Flair tells Eddie to not worry about Austin interfering.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is defending and this is a ladder match. Van Dam goes straight to the kicks to start, including the spinning version from the apron. The pace changes as Eddie sends him face first into the ladder which doesn’t even fall over. JR thinks Van Dam isn’t the same after going into a ladder. I might wait more than ten seconds to make such a bold statement Jim. Eddie wraps the leg around the post (smart move) and cracks it with a chair (smarter move).

Van Dam, despite having a crushed knee, does his rolling monkey flip out of the corner. That earns Rob a hard powerbomb but he’s still able to dropkick a second ladder into Eddie’s face. Cue Benoit down the stands and of course he’s got a ticket. How he has one despite the show being announced as sold out isn’t clear but this is an old standard so we’ll just go with it.

Back from a break with Van Dam dropkicking the ladder out from under Eddie for a big crash. Rolling Thunder onto the ladder isn’t enough for Van Dam to get the belt as Eddie climbs up for a big sunset bomb to put both guys down in a heap. Eddie goes up so here’s a fan to shove the ladder over like an idiot.

Van Dam gets knocked down again, allowing Eddie to hit a hilo off the ladder for the latest in a string of big spots. For some reason Eddie puts a chair in the corner, allowing Rob to send him into the steel instead (as per wrestling rule #3). The split legged moonsault onto the ladder onto Eddie and it’s Van Dam’s turn to be exhausted.

A suplex into the standing ladder knocks Rob down again but he monkey flips Eddie into the ladder in the corner. They’re beating the heck out of each other here and every spot is awesome. Rolling Thunder onto the ladder onto Eddie sets up the Van Daminator….but Rob’s Five Star off the ladder doesn’t work as the ladder slips out from underneath him. For once Rob plays it smart by kicking Eddie to the floor and climbing up to get the belt.

Rating: A-. Well that worked. These guys beat each on each other with everything they could find and it never stopped being entertaining. This was about carnage and people doing things to hurt each other with two very talented people knocking it out of the park. Van Dam getting the title back is a good call and he can hold it until another big time heel takes it away. Like Brock perhaps.

Eddie goes after Rob again but here’s Austin for the big beatdown. Flair and Arn Anderson come in and get stomped down, only to have Benoit jump the railing and deck Austin. Eddie adds a frog splash to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a show in two parts and we’ll look at the good first. Austin/Van Dam vs. Guerrero/Benoit is as strong of a main event scene as you’re going to get on Raw at this point and there’s little to complain about there. Above all else, it’s not the NWO and that’s an upgrade for everyone.

That pretty much ends the good stuff (with Lesnar vs. Dudley being somewhere in the middle) as the rest was mostly dull, though not horrible. The NWO and lower card title stuff comes off like the writers just meeting requirements instead of doing anything worth their time, though to be fair those titles are both so worthless that it’s probably not worth getting annoyed over. This was the best show they’ve done in months and hopefully the start of an upward trend for them.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 24, 2016
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

The Beast is back tonight as Brock Lesnar is here for his first comments about his upcoming match with Goldberg. In addition to that we have two big matches including Sheamus and Cesaro vs. New Day in a non-title match and Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens in a triple threat. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Jericho to open things up with some terrible news: tonight’s triple threat match has been canceled until further notice. The fans aren’t happy with that one but Jericho says it’s because SOMEONE HAS STOLEN THE LIST OF JERICHO. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Jericho isn’t leaving until the List is returned but here’s Owens to interrupt. Owens doesn’t care who has the List but he’ll help Jericho find it once they get rid of Rollins.

Jericho says there’s no triple threat match tonight but here’s Stephanie McMahon to interrupt. She explains the idea of the triple threat (because Stephanie thinks all fans are idiots) and here’s Rollins with the List. Jericho freaks out and Stephanie goes all screechy to say give it back.

Seth sees Stephanie mentioned as a stupid idiot but at the very bottom is Jericho’s former best friend, Kevin Owens. Rollins wants to start a new list about Owens, who has no idea how it is inside the Cell. He’ll also kick Owens’ teeth down his throat and break his face with a Pedigree so he can teach HHH and Stephanie a lesson (because that’s what really matters in this whole thing).

This segment showed how horribly uninteresting this whole thing is when Jericho isn’t talking. Owens barely got to say anything and Rollins wants to win the title to show up HHH and Stephanie. Some main event feud. Also, did Stephanie need to be here? Like at all? She came out, told Jericho to do the main event (which Owens had already done) and was insulted that she was on the list (like Owens a few seconds later).

Post break Stephanie tells Rollins to give the List back because the fans were promised a triple threat. Rollins vents about Stephanie’s real intentions and says the List is in the locker room.

Enzo Amore vs. Karl Anderson

Anderson and Gallows have cut off Enzo’s mic so he and the crowd do it with pure vocal power. Enzo fires off rights and lefts in the corner but dives into a spinebuster as we take an early break. Back with Enzo getting kicked in the face but stopping a charge in the corner. A rollup is broken up but Cass kicks Karl in the face to give Enzo the pin at 7:39.

Rating: D+. I almost had this whole match written from the opening bell because this was exactly what you would have expected these two to do. It’s fine to set up the tag match and thank goodness we didn’t hear any of Anderson and Gallows trying to be funny. Enzo and Cass need to win on Sunday as it’s not like Anderson and Gallows can go much further into the hole.

Rusev says he slept like a baby last night because he gets his hands on Roman Reigns inside the Cell this Sunday. Reigns has done a lot of horrible things but now it’s Rusev’s chance to crush him for good. Simple and to the point here, as it should be.

New Day vs. Cesaro/Sheamus

Non-title. Before the match, New Day praises Cesaro but says Sheamus shames us because no one wants to see him. Woods is the odd man out here, which is kind of surprising as they’re normally defending the titles. Cesaro’s backbreaker gets two on Kofi and a double back elbows shows that Cesaro and Sheamus can actually work together. New Day quickly gets it together and takes Sheamus into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede.

Back from a break with Kofi in trouble and taking the ten forearms to the chest. Cesaro misses a charge into the post and the hot tag brings in Big E. to deal with Sheamus. The Irish Curse gets two on Big E. and Cesaro’s vertical suplex gets the same. The Midnight Hour is broken up but Kofi is launched straight into the uppercut. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Big E. for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C+. Let’s see. Yeah I’m checking here. Maybe….almost….nah I still don’t care about Sheamus and Cesaro. They’re still the same uninteresting pair that have been around since before Summerslam and still are little more than a rehash of the League of Nations having problems against New Day back in the spring. New Day needs to roll over them and give us the record in December. If you just have to give these two the belts after that then so be it but don’t mess with the year plus run for this stupid idea.

We look back at Goldberg’s return.

Jericho frantically looks for the List but runs into Titus O’Neil, the Shining Stars and Jinder Mahal, all of whom have something for him other than the List (Titus Brand, travel brochures and a breathing exercise).

Bayley vs. Dana Brooke

Bayley has a taped up shoulder after last week. Dana says not so fast because she doesn’t like the idea of last week’s win being called an upset. Tonight there’s going to be another match but this time it’s arm wrestling. Dana easily wins so Bayley offers to go left handed. Bayley starts to win and of course Dana decks her and turns the table over for the beatdown. A Bayley to Belly sends Dana running and thankfully cuts off the BORING chants. Can you blame the fans for not being impressed here?

Jericho is freaking out over the List when he runs into Stephanie, who isn’t interested in helping him. Stephanie lists off everything she has going on and says Jericho is in the match, List or not. Chris says no List and no match, ya dig? That’s not cool with the boss, who says Jericho wrestles or gets suspended.

Curtis Axel vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Axel does a really good speech about his Minnesota roots and being Curt Hennig’s son. Bo starts fast but the Roll of the Dice is countered into a PerfectPlex for two. I bought that for a second. A running forearm drops Curtis and we hit the chinlock. Axel fights out and hits the running neck snap for two and that’s it for his offense as Dallas grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:58. I’ve said Axel should be pushed as a face for years and this was more evidence that I’m right. It’s also more evidence that WWE gets way too much pleasure out of having people lose in their hometown.

Video on Rich Swann.

Jericho is about to leave when a guy comes up to say he saw the List. Chris finds…..Braun Strowman looking at it and asks for it back. Braun: “Say please.” Strowman doesn’t see Sami Zayn’s name on the List but gives it back anyway. Jericho says it’s on page four and since Braun touched his personal property, HE JUST MADE THE LIST!

Roman Reigns talks about being in the Cell, which Rusev hasn’t experienced. Reigns takes this personally and is ready to do anything to keep the title on Sunday.

We run down the card for Sunday’s show.

Golden Truth vs. Shining Stars

Mark Henry is with Golden Truth and Titus is with the Stars, which makes me feel a bit better about their earlier segment. It’s really nice to have them actually have a reason to be in the back instead of just showing up for a cameo. I love little things like that. Corey is reading a brochure as the Stars come out to the ring as he needs to get his mom a birthday gift.

Primo is dropped by Goldust to start but some double teaming puts him down. The snap powerslam puts Epico down and everything breaks down with Titus low bridging Truth to the floor. Henry shoves Titus into the ropes to crotch Epico, setting up a flapjack into Little Jimmy for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: D. Can someone take this show behind the barn and shoot it already? I’ll actually give this match a little credit: they’re trying to build something out of nothing and it could be a lot worse. I mean, there’s at least something there and a moderate attempt to be interesting. It’s not really working and the match feels like a nacho break but I’ll take what I can get.

Mick Foley is in the ring for the contract signing between Sasha Banks and Charlotte. They talk about how big of a moment this is going to be, only to have Foley go into his annual rant about how evil the Cell is. Charlotte calls Sasha an entitled second rate talent who will learn respect from the Queen this Sunday. Sasha is ready to crawl up the ramp broken and bloodied as long as she has the Women’s Title. They trade insults but Foley cuts them both off to say he’s their future. Dude if the Cell is going to turn them into 6’4 men with long beards, maybe we should cancel the match.

As expected, the fans chant for Foley, thereby completely missing the point of this segment. Foley met Charlotte as a child and his kids gave Sasha their signed photo of Eddie Guerrero. More insults and a double signing FINALLY wrap this up. Charlotte vs. Sasha in a major gimmick match is fine but no one, like NO ONE, buys that the match is going to be all violent and career threatening like Foley is pushing and that kills the idea.

Emmalina video.

Brian Kendrick vs. Rich Swann

TJ Perkins is on commentary. As Kendrick makes his entrance, we see clips of his run from seven to ten years ago. It’s very sad that the #1 contender to a title doesn’t even have enough video from his current run for a highlight reel. In case you didn’t know, Perkins runs down his history with Kendrick (Brian was his mentor) for the millionth or so time.

Swann flips over Brian and hits a good looking dropkick. A spinning dive to the floor takes Kendrick down and we head to a break. Back with Swann fighting out of a chinlock and snapping off a top rope hurricanrana. What looks like a victory roll is broken up but Swann slips out of the Captain’s Hook and grabs a cradle for the pin at 9:14.

Rating: C. So Swann, who looked a lot better here, pins the #1 contender for a title that has no heat going into a pay per view title match. I get that Swann is likely the next challenger but they’re ruining this division more week by week. I’ll spare you another list of problems and just say Swann looked good here and go on.

Owens promises violence on Sunday but he’s the only one coming back.

Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn

This has the potential to be good so let’s see how they can screw it up. Before the bell, Strowman says he wants competition but he doesn’t see that in front of him. Strowman shoves him away but Sami low bridges him to the floor. This goes badly for Sami as he dives at Braun, only to get thrown into the barricade. Strowman walks away and there’s no match.

Kendrick comes in to see Perkins and says the clock is ticking on his career. If TJ loses on Sunday, he’ll bounce back. If Brian loses, that’s it for feeding his family. TJ walks away.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman with something to say. Heyman does his usual schtick about how Lesnar will smash Goldberg, only to have the Goldberg chants cut him off. Heyman calls out the fan that started them and says they’re getting on Brock’s nerves. After their match, all of the chants in the world won’t be able to put Goldberg back together again. Suplexes are promised and the fans go back and forth with SUPLEX CITY/GOLDBERG chants. Heyman rips on them and the chant turns into GOLDBERG SUCKS…..to wrap this up. Ok then. There was NOTHING here and it didn’t need Brock at all.

Owens and Jericho have a meeting before the triple threat with Chris asking if their friendship means as much as the title. Kevin smiles it off and doesn’t really answer. Jericho says they’ll still be best friends no matter what but Kevin looks concerned.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Owens

Non-title. They play keep away to start until Owens gets kicked out to the floor. A Blockbuster gets two on Jericho but Owens pulls Seth outside. The champ is sent into the barricade but Jericho throws Seth into the crowd. Back in and Owens scores with a clothesline, only to have Rollins avoid the Cannonball. The Pedigree doesn’t work on either Canadian but the Lionsault hits Seth’s knees.

Owens saves his buddy from a Pedigree and it’s time for the double teaming. The handicap portion continues until Owens is low bridged to the floor. Jericho eats the low superkick and Rollins dives onto Kevin. Seth misses the frog splash and eats a Codebreaker for two. Owens comes back in and slaps Rollins a lot as the STUPID IDIOT chants kick in. Rollins escapes a double superplex and pins both guys at the same time with a double rollup at 10:00.

Rating: C+. The match was fun but it’s WAY too late in the night to really matter. Rollins pinning the champ is appropriate as Owens has been a huge afterthought in this entire story. That also makes four straight times that Rollins has pinned Jericho so you certainly can’t say he’s getting too many wins.

Post match Owens and Jericho destroy Rollins by sending him hard into the steps. We’re still not done though as Rollins runs up the ramp and dives at Owens, only to get beaten down again. Owens gives him the Apron Bomb and walks back up the ramp to get his title so some posing can end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What a dog of a show this was. There was no effort here and their best idea was to say “Raw Exclusive Pay Per View” over and over as many times as they could. This was every lame idea they could come up with in three hours with almost no one really trying and the show feeling even longer than usual. The worst part is the show wasn’t even the worst. What it was was lacking energy and that’s as bad as it’s going to get. Horrible stuff here and little more than making me want to get to Survivor Series instead of caring about Sunday.

Results

Enzo Amore b. Karl Anderson – Rollup

Cesaro and Sheamus b. New Day – Brogue Kick to Big E.

Bo Dallas b. Curtis Axel – Rollup

Golden Truth b. Shining Stars – Flapjack into Little Jimmy to Epico

Rich Swann b. Brian Kendrick – Oklahoma Roll

Seth Rollins b. Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho – Double rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 20, 2002
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first night of the Undertaker regime and that means we’re getting closer to King of the Ring. In addition to that, I’m sure there’s a good chance that we’re going to get more of Austin vs. the NWO, which is now adding names for Austin to beat up from week to week. As long as it’s not Austin vs. Big Show, I think we’re good. Let’s get to it.

We open with a rest in peace video for the British Bulldog. There’s a lot more effort here than in most of these, though the fact that he was only 39 makes it even harder to accept. That’s just too young for anyone.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam comes to the ring because the scripts calls for him to be there, only to have Undertaker come out and beat the tar out of him. A whip into the steps busts open Van Dam’s eye and Undertaker hits him with the steps for good measure. Undertaker is mad that he didn’t get to open the show and had to beat up Van Dam for trying to steal his spotlight. When he feels like he has something to say, he’s going to come down here and say it no matter who is in the ring.

The number one rule around here is respect the Undertaker and you can ask Hulk Hogan what happens when you disobey. Last night, he killed Hulkamania and it’s over for good. In fact, Hogan is going to announce his retirement on Smackdown. As Undertaker keeps talking, the referees are STILL checking on Van Dam, which means we’re just waiting on him to get up and do something else. We keep hearing about respect as Van Dam crawls into the ring. Undertaker thinks Van Dam is thick between the ears and the fight is on with Rob kicking him down and hitting a Five Star.

Undertaker demands a match with Van Dam tonight so Ric Flair makes it a title match. Makes sense given their history but doesn’t make a ton of sense given Flair as a smart heel who would want to stay on Undertaker’s good side.

Hardy Boyz vs. NWO

X-Pac and Big Show here. Jeff starts with a headscissors on X-Pac as the announcers don’t have much to say about the Hardys getting destroyed by Lesnar last night. Matt comes in with a Side Effect but Show realizes that he’s Big and runs Matt over from the apron. Show gets in his big beatdown segment but it’s back to X-Pac who misses a charge in the corner. I can’t picture this pair of screwups being the best idea for a team.

The brothers get smart and try to double team X-Pac, only to get thrown around by Show. Booker T. kicks Big Show by mistake because this team is rapidly turning into a big joke that just won’t go away. With things going horribly for the NWO, here’s Goldust as Elvis for an accidental distraction, allowing Jeff to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is where the NWO belongs: as a tag team who can probably beat some lower level pairings but aren’t quite good enough to go after the Tag Team Titles, mainly because they don’t exist on Raw at this point. It’s amazing what happens when you get rid of Hall and let X-Pac do most of the wrestling. The matches aren’t good but they’re a lot less horrible.

Paul Heyman talks to Trish about her lingerie and sex is suggested. Denied, but it’s suggested.

The NWO argues over who should be the leader. Maybe Flair should have joined. Somehow this gets us to Goldust/Booker T. vs. the Hardys later tonight. Did anyone ask Matt and Jeff if they’re cool with this?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

Trish is defending. Jackie slaps her in the chest to start, giving Lawler his favorite spot in years. A headlock doesn’t get Jackie anywhere but an armdrag into an armbar works a bit better. Trish fights up with forearms and a suplex for two. Lawler: “I’d like to be her thigh master.” Jackie misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog retains the title. This was actually pretty good while it lasted but the time hurt it, as is always the case.

Heyman and Lesnar come out and threaten Trish with violence if she doesn’t go out with Paul. Cue Bubba Ray Dudley for the save to give Brock his first singles feud.

Video on last night’s big matches. Isn’t that how you should open the show?

Tommy Dreamer is still gross and one person continues to laugh. This time he eats hair as he gets it cut and washes it down with something called Barbicide, which is apparently a disinfectant. What do you even say to something like this?

Rob Van Dam isn’t going to listen to the doctor who tells him not to wrestle tonight.

GET THE F OUT!

European Title: William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is challenging and starts fast with a slam and those big elbows. You really can see the Dusty Rhodes influence in there and that’s not the worst thing in the world. Molly Holly, in Regal’s corner here, trips Bubba to let Regal take over but the guys slam heads for a double knockdown. The Flip Flop and Fly have Regal in trouble and it’s table time for no logical reason. Cue Lesnar for the DQ.

After an F5, Molly slips Regal the knuckles to knock Bubba out again.

Here are Flair and Arn Anderson for the 10pm chat. Flair admits that he’s made some mistakes over the years but there are too few to mention. See, last night, Austin pinned the illegal man so it’s time for a new plan. This brings out Austin to hear said plan face to face. Or face to heels actually. Anderson threatens him with violence and Austin doesn’t seem impressed. Anyway, Flair says he owns Austin and is going to take him out of the ring. Stunning and beer drinking ensues.

Hardy Boyz vs. Goldust/Booker T.

Raven of all people comes out for commentary and rips on Lawler for his lame job calling matches. Lawler won’t be too interested in this match because Lita and her puppies aren’t here. JR asks about Goldust and Booker’s relationship. Raven: “You don’t know much about relationships Lawler. That’s why your wife left you.” Some forearms put Matt down to start and Booker dances around a bit before tagging Goldust in. The Side Effect puts Goldust down but here’s the NWO to kick Goldust in the back of the head. Matt grabs a small package for the pin.

Austin and Debra are at a karaoke bar. I don’t see this being funny.

Back in the ring, Goldust is still down with the NWO around him. Booker isn’t cool with X-Pac and Big Show interfering because it cost him a match. They yell at each other over their actions last night with Booker saying X-Pac can’t get laid. Show points out that they never invited Booker to join the team, which makes you wonder WHY HE’S STILL THERE. Can the boss just assign people to stables? Anyway Kevin Nash comes out to take charge of the group and rips into them like a bunch of losers. Booker is officially on the team and seems very happy about it because Nash is just so darn inspirational.

Eddie Guerrero is at the bar as well and sends Debra a teddy bear. Does the bar just happen to sell teddy bears? Austin isn’t pleased.

After the announcers plug the upcoming Australia show, Raven asks if Lawler knows anything about wrestling anymore. Raven gets on a regular mic and yells at Lawler for only talking about puppies. A challenge is issued for later tonight.

Debra asks Austin to sing but Eddie takes the mic and sings…..I have no idea actually. It’s booed off the stage as expected.

Raven vs. Jerry Lawler

Raven starts with some basic stuff and Lawler gets a bit more height than I was expecting off a backdrop. They head outside so Raven can yell at JR but Lawler gets all fired up and takes the strap down. A bunch of right hands and rams into the buckle have the crowd all entertained and knock Raven loopy. Raven bails before the fist drop can hit.

Rating: D-. They can’t even have Raven do a job for Lawler in Memphis? I’m fine with Jerry doing this once or twice a year to give the fans a quick thrill because nothing the company is going to put out there is going to fire them up like a quick Lawler match. That being said, I really don’t get the idea of having Raven walking out instead of just taking the pin. Then again, the insults he got in on Lawler were pure gold and more than make up for the loss.

Austin sings Margaritaville but Eddie doesn’t like it. Since this is 2002 Austin, he turns his back on Eddie and gets a beer bottle broken over his head. Aside from this taking WAY too long to finally get to the point, the idea of Austin vs. Guerrero is a huge improvement over the NWO nonsense. It’s going to suck for the Intercontinental Title but at least they’re elevating someone.

Undisputed Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Undertaker

Van Dam is challenging and his eye probably isn’t healed up yet. A big dive takes Undertaker out before the bell, which probably isn’t the best idea in the world. Undertaker crotches himself with a missed big boot and some kicks get some two counts. A clothesline puts Undertaker on the floor and Van Dam is right back out there with some kicks to the back. Undertaker gets back inside but can’t hit the Last Ride.

Instead he ribs off a buckle pad but opts to elbow Rob in the face instead. The chokeslam is broken up and Undertaker goes into the exposed buckle. Rolling Thunder connects for the pin with Undertaker’s foot on the ropes and Memphis is way too smart for that. Cue Flair to say the foot was on the ropes so the match is continuing. The Last Ride retains the title.

Rating: C. Undertaker gave Rob a lot here and it was a lot more entertaining than I was expecting. Van Dam moving higher up on the card is a good thing and it’s always cool to see someone younger in the main event scene. I remember watching this live but I had missed the foot being on the rope. It’s amazing how much fun you can have when you get surprised by something like this and buy that they did something like that.

Flair is pleased to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s a lot of bad stuff on here and it’s certainly not a good show but WHAT AN IMPROVEMENT this was over recent weeks. Guerrero and Van Dam are moving up the card, the NWO has an actual leader (though they lost both of their matches), Undertaker, though still bad, is a huge upgrade over Hogan as champion and Brock vs. Bubba could give us some good fights.

That being said, there’s a lot of bad around here too. There was way too much time spent on the bar segments and Undertaker’s opening segment, which could have been done in half the time. The short matches still don’t do the show any favors and it’s not a good sign that the Hardys have to work twice. They have so many people running around on the show with nothing to do but we need to see Matt and Jeff twice in an hour and a half? It’s still not a good show but this was miles ahead of everything they’ve been doing in the last month.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 17, 2016
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a big moment tonight as Goldberg will be making his first appearance in WWE in over twelve years. Goldberg is back tonight to answer Paul Heyman’s challenge for a match against Brock Lesnar at some point in the future (likely next month’s Survivor Series). Other than that we have two more shows before the Cell is lowered so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence. Is there a reason why they got rid of Last Week on Raw? Taking too much promo time up?

Here are Kevin Owens and Chris Jericho for the opening chat. Owens thinks Mick Foley has a personal vendetta against him because he’s put the title match inside the Cell. Jericho’s calls for quiet backfire so he talks about all the stuff that happened inside the Cell over the years, including ending Foley’s career.

It’s still going to be the Chris and Kevin Show because Jericho should have been in that match as well. We hear Jericho’s resume again, including beating Rock and Austin on the same night. Jericho: “Bet you forgot about that one!” He only lost last week because of bad refereeing so THE REFEREE IS ON THE LIST!

This brings out Rollins to a BIG face chant. Like, even bigger than the time he beat up Roman Reigns and should have been turned face then. Rollins thinks everything about Jericho should be on the List, including the trunks which Rollins refers to as Sparkle Crotch. Jericho: “I AM NOT SPARKLE CROTCH!” For calling him that, Rollins JUST MADE THE LIST!

Seth brings up Owens bailing on Jericho two weeks in a row but that’s just to keep the team strong. Jericho issues a challenge to Rollins, who wants to fight right now. Actually hang on because Seth wants to know what Owens is going to do. Jericho and Owens disagree about whether Owens should stay or go with Jericho saying he’s got this because Owens can be here in spirit. Rollins: “Let’s do this. Owens, get your hands off Sparkle Crotch.”

Chris Jericho vs. Seth Rollins

First good sign of the match: the bell rings as we get back because Foley made it official during the break. Do that WAY more often. The SPARKLE CROTCH chants begin as Rollins clotheslines Jericho out of the corner and stomps on the Canadian. A backbreaker gives Jericho two and control but he has to fight out of a Pedigree attempt. Jericho backdrops him over the top and face first onto the apron as we take a break.

Back with both guys getting up and Rollins scoring with a Sling Blade for two. The nose breaking knee has Jericho in trouble but here’s Owens for a distraction. Rollins hits the springboard knee but gets distracted anyway, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls. The referee sees Owens holding the ropes away from Rollins though and the hold is broken. Instead Jericho goes with an enziguri but the Codebreaker is countered into a Pedigree for the pin at 14:36.

Rating: B-. This third straight loss for Jericho is proof of how important talking is in wrestling. Jericho has lost to Rollins three times now and he’s still going to be one of the most over acts on the roster with all of his stupid lines and charisma. It’s something so few people have going for them and Jericho is one of the best ever at it.

We look at Goldberg’s first win in WCW.

Earlier today, Lita sat down with Charlotte for a chat about what it means to go inside the Cell. Charlotte brags about how awesome she is and how this is the latest moment on her already amazing resume. She’s won eleven pay per view title matches in a row and this is going to be another one. Charlotte lists off all her accomplishments and says she’s going to win again because that’s what she does.

Golden Truth/Mark Henry vs. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil

This is over the Shining Stars trying to rip Henry off fake Rolexes. Apparently they were Titus Brand watches so there’s your reason for this match. Titus beats on Goldust to start and it’s off to Primo for a chinlock. The powerslam allows the hot tag to Truth as everything breaks down. Henry tags himself in and the World’s Strongest Slam ends Titus at 3:09.

Rating: F. Oh screw off WWE. This was another waste of time because they don’t bother with putting together a storyline and just threw six guys out there for the sake of throwing six guys out there to fill in time. I have a big problem caring about WWE when it’s clear that they don’t care either. Either give this time to something worthwhile or have the people out there eating sandwiches because it might actually be more interesting than a three minute match over a Titus Brand Rolex.

Jericho yells at Owens for coming down to ringside and almost calls him a Stupid Idiot. Owens calls him out on it and here’s STEPHANIE TO SAVE THE DAY! She says this is what Seth Rollins is trying to do and somehow ties it into the feud with Smackdown over the upcoming Survivor Series matches. Stephanie leaves and the guys are all quiet because Mama yelled at them.

Big E. vs. Sheamus

Before the match, Big E. laughs at the idea of Cesaro and Sheamus being a good team. Kofi points out that you can’t say Sheamus without the word SHAME. Woods: “I doubt these two are even friends on Facebook.” Sheamus isn’t pleased and starts fast with a German suplex. Cesaro watches on Facebook Live because WWE wants you to stop watching the show and go look at that. The apron splash gets Big E. out of trouble and Cesaro stops for more video.

Back from a break with Sheamus diving into a belly to belly but blocking the Warrior Splash. Big E. grabs a powerbomb of all things for two and Sheamus gets the same off White Noise. Cesaro takes this opportunity to go into the crowd with his phone but Sheamus takes it away and demands that he film the following Brogue Kick. Instead it’s a splash in the corner and a rollup to give Big E. the pin at 10:24.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but OH MY GOODNESS this story is annoying. The whole thing is a way to hype up WWE on Facebook Live and we’re stuck sitting through the next two weeks of watching Cesaro and Sheamus losing but hoping they might pull it together in the title match. That’s storytelling in today’s Raw tag team division.

The next Goldberg video is him winning the WCW World Title from Hollywood Hogan on July 8, 1998. Cole actually makes two mistakes here, which is bad even for him.

1. Cole says this was when Goldberg had been undefeated for a year. You would know this is wrong because about half an hour ago, Cole showed us Goldberg’s debut in September 1997.

2. Cole says Goldberg was the first undefeated WCW World Champion. Save for Giant of course, who won the title in his debut match.

Point to all this: WWE is bad at wrestling history so you should buy my books about it instead.

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Bo Dallas vs. Neville

Curtis Axel is in Bo’s corner and is the biggest Bo-liever of them all. Dallas is all aggressive to start and knees away on a much smaller looking Neville. He’s clearly lost some muscle, perhaps for a cruiserweight run. Neville misses his running kick to the face but does his an Asai moonsault. Back in and Bo charges into a boot to the face but manages to leg sweep his way out of the Red Arrow’s path. A Roll of the Dice gives Bo the big upset at 2:56. So this is what you get for being arrested on a flight.

Bo beats Axel up post match and holds up the BO-LIEVE IN BO sign.

Bayley vs. Dana Brooke

Dana runs around a bit to start but gets caught in a Stunner over the middle rope. Back in and Dana knees her in the ribs, meaning it’s time for a Ken Bone joke. A chinlock doesn’t last long and Bayley starts with her elbows, followed by a dropkick to the back. Dana sends her face first into the post and…..gets the pin at 4:10. The ending looked a bit odd, as in not the planned ending. I think Dana was supposed to put her feet on the ropes (she was swinging her leg near them) but didn’t get them up there, meaning it was closer to a clean win.

Rating: D+. I was getting into this until the screwy ending. In theory that was designed to set up a rematch at the pay per view but instead it’s basically Dana just beating Bayley in about four minutes. If that’s the case then it makes a lot more sense but this ending hurt things a lot.

Paul Heyman joins us via satellite to say Goldberg isn’t worth Lesnar’s time because it’s a fantasy challenge. It would behoove Goldberg to just not show up tonight because otherwise Lesnar is going to hurt him very badly. The fans chant YES but Heyman says that’s just hurting Goldberg even worse.

Braun Strowman vs. Mile High Trio

The jobbers don’t have names but one of them thinks Strowman will have issues with the altitude. One of the guys has curly hair so Graves says he thought it was No Way Jose’s less intimidating cousin, Perhaps Not Jorge. Strowman throws two of them to the floor and LAUNCHES the third onto his partners. One of the trio tries to leave so Strowman chases him down and throws him back in. A powerslam and reverse chokeslam give Braun a double pin at 2:16.

Strowman says he’s coming to take matters into his hands right now but here’s Sami Zayn to cut him off. Strowman shoves him out to the floor and walks off. At least it’s something for both guys and that’s a good thing.

Sami says he’ll fight Strowman because no one else will.

Here are Rusev and Lana to run down America and its horrible family values. He’s heard about Roman’s family but he doesn’t want to hear about 700 Samoans sitting around a campfire dipping a turkey leg in mayonnaise. As a counter, Rusev, has a photo album of his own family.

This includes his mother (two time world rowing champion), his father (who wrestled in the military), his brother Rusev (Rusev Rusev? Either way he’s a chef.), his grandmother and their award winning dog. Reigns FINALLY comes out to interrupt and is quickly beaten down, allowing Rusev to put Reigns in the Accolade. The fight was good but the family bit ran WAY too long.

Clip of Goldberg debuting in WWE. So he had two big moments in WCW and then he was on Raw? That’s quite the reason to hype him up this much.

Emmalina video.

Big Cass vs. Karl Anderson

Cass erupts on Anderson in the corner and sends him flying with a fall away slam. Back in after a quick brawl with the partners and it’s the East River Crossing for the pin on Karl at 1:10.

Tony Nese and Drew Gulak agree on some kind of a deal with Brian Kendrick when TJ Perkins comes in. Perkins thinks there’s been a deal made but Kendrick says he doesn’t know how this works. TJ thinks this is WWE2K17 and he has unlimited lives but this is Kendrick’s last life. Cedric Alexander and Rich Swann come in and there’s a six man later. I appreciate the attempt at a story but the delivery was TERRIBLE here.

Earlier today Sasha Banks sat down with Lita. Sasha knows Charlotte will be ready because they’ve fought so many times before. Charlotte needs to know that the show is in Boston though and Sasha will be on her game in her hometown. Sasha is over her back injury and might be a bit intimidated by the Cell but she’s not afraid.

Video on Goldberg winning his second World Title at Unforgiven 2003.

Cedric Alexander/TJ Perkins/Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak

Gulak takes Alexander into the corner to start before it’s off to Perkins to slam Nese in the corner. A tornado DDT is countered into a suplex for two on TJ and Kendrick comes in, only to get caught in the kneebar. Back from a break (yes a break in this match at 10:45) with Swann coming in for a hurricanrana as everything breaks down. Nese gives Rich the 450 and the Captain’s Hook is enough for the submission at 7:15.

Rating: C. This match exists and I’m not sure what else there is to say about it. The big takeaway for me is we have a six man tag that people don’t really care about so ALL SIX GOT AN ENTRANCE on a show that is already packed to the gills. Someone needs to map this show out a lot better because it’s only making things better.

The Bosses recap the idea for Survivor Series and make Jericho vs. Owens vs. Rollins for next week. Stephanie LOVES the idea. Foley: “I feel like we have a connection.” Stephanie: “Like the Rock N Sock Connection?”

We see Goldberg’s comments on SportsCenter from two weeks ago.

We see Heyman’s comments from last week.

Cole brings out “the greatest champion in WCW history”. I’ll just let that sink in for a moment as Goldberg gets the big, long walk entrance through the back with everyone applauding him (and the Governor of Colorado being shown on camera chanting his name). Goldberg finally comes out and soaks in some cheers before saying you should never say never again. His wife and son are here to see him for the first time ever.

Back in January, he got a phone call from 2K asking him to promote their new video game. The thing he misses most, other than hurting people, is being a hero for kids. Somewhere along the way, he created some drama around here and maybe it’s better left alone. Fans: “NO!” Goldberg: “BUT THEN!” Fans: “YAY!”

Goldberg talks about Brock having Heyman challenge him to a fight, which made him think he has one more beating left in him. Maybe he has one more spear and Jackhammer in him. That means Brock is next but he’s also last. Goldberg goes around the ring and picks up some kids (including his own) to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show was a three hour tease until Goldberg FINALLY showed up to do what pretty much everyone was expecting. Raw is a show that really could use the NXT formula: have an A crew and a B crew and don’t put them on the show every week. There’s so much stuff on here that feels like it’s crammed in because EVERYTHING has to make air every show, leading to a lot of short matches that don’t have time to do anything because we need to move on to something else.

There are a few good things scattered throughout the show but with nothing getting a focus (and the World Champion stuck in the opening segment as a background character while the adults do everything else) until the end, the show was WAY too long and full of stuff that wasn’t interesting, which is the case far too often anymore.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Pedigree

Golden Truth/Mark Henry b. Shining Stars/Titus O’Neil – World’s Strongest Slam to O’Neil

Big E. b. Sheamus – Rollup

Bo Dallas b. Neville – Roll of the Dice

Dana Brooke b. Bayley – Ram into the post

Braun Strowman b. Mile High Trio – Reverse chokeslam

Big Cass b. Karl Anderson – East River Crossing

Brian Kendrick/Tony Nese/Drew Gulak b. TJ Perkins/Rich Swann/Cedric Alexander – Captain’s Hook to Swann

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

TNA gets the courts involved, No Mercy, Raw, Smackdown, NXT and Mailbag time!

http://mightynorcal.podbean.com/e/wwp-49-the-loltna-saga-continues-no-mercy-review-raw-smackdown-plus-mailbag/

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 2002
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Since when does a city get Wrestlemania in March and Raw in May? It’s the final Raw before Judgment Day and the big question is what can possibly happen to Hogan and Undertaker now? Last week was a total disaster and I can’t imagine things are going to get any better here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Hardy Boyz vs. Brock Lesnar

From a Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania to putting Lesnar over two months later. Matt gets in a few shots to start but hands it off to Jeff, who is planted with a big, strong slam. Matt goes after the leg as the fans chant for the Maple Leafs. The slow beating of Matt continues until a ram into the buckle allows the tag to Jeff. Right hands don’t work and a HORRIBLY botched jawbreaker sets up Poetry in Motion for the big hope spot. Jeff hits a splash as Matt drops a top rope leg but Heyman pulls the referee out at two for the LAME DQ. JR: “I think the referee has disqualified Heyman.” Not quite Jim.

Rating: D. So Matt and Jeff get to beat Brock and almost have him pinned? Well on one hand, Lesnar shouldn’t be able to beat one of the best teams ever but on the other hand, Lesnar shouldn’t be in anything close to this much trouble yet. As has been the case with everything else around here lately, this was really poorly booked and does a lot more harm than good.

Post match, the Hardys hit their tandem finishers so Heyman challenges them to a rematch at the pay per view with himself as Brock’s partner. Matt immediately accepts in a very loud voice for someone not on a microphone.

The NWO is in the back when Ric Flair comes in. Flair has apparently taken over as leader for the group but he’s had to fire Scott Hall for dropping the ball at Wrestlemania and multiple other times (read as because of the Plane Ride). On top of that, of course Nash isn’t suspended because he’s just out healing from bicep surgery. As for tonight though, there’s going to be a new member of the team and it’s such a big secret that even the new member doesn’t know yet. Uh, that’s kind of a stretch no?

Get The F Out.

Here are Flair and Big Show with something to say. Flair mentions being a sixteen time World Champion, which makes him fifteen times better than the Maple Leafs. The Leafs have won thirteen Stanley Cups so I have no idea what he’s going for there. I get what he means but the wording is weird. He also has a real enforcer in Big Show instead of that worthless Tie Domi.

Flair thinks it’s clear that there’s a problem between himself and Steve Austin. He gave Austin everything he wanted and got Stunned so Austin is like everyone else here: trash. Austin is in big trouble on Sunday, but tonight Flair has other ideas. Tonight, he’ll be challenging Hulk Hogan for the World Title. I can live with that actually as their matches can at least be passable and shouldn’t involve motorcycles.

Post break we’re told that Flair has made his title shot a No DQ match. That’s probably necessary.

Hogan arrives…..on a motorcyle. Oh geez.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Eddie Guerrero

Non-title and fallout from Eddie accusing Planet Stasiak of growing marijuana. I’ve heard weirder. I mean, I can’t think of anything at the moment but I’m sure it’s out there. Maybe on Planet Stasiak. We’re not ready yet though as Rob Van Dam comes out to watch as well. Stasiak grabs a quick gutwrench suplex but Eddie gets in a regular suplex to set up the frog splash for the easy pin.

Van Dam jumps Eddie post match. Eddie yells at Rob for interfering in his match (which he didn’t do) and promises to get revenge on Sunday.

Steve Austin doesn’t think much of Flair and does a lot of WHAT stuff to bother Coach. He says he’s going to win on Sunday and insults Flair in a bit that takes about three times as long as it should.

And now, A Day in the Life of Tommy Dreamer. See, Tommy is disgusting and brushes his dog’s teeth before using the same brush, shaves his tongue and drinks toilet water. I’ll take an answer to any one of the following questions:

How does this advance anything?

How stupid do you have to be to find this amusing?

What does this accomplish other than making the answer to the previous question laugh?

Was there no one else who could get this time?

Why am I watching this on a wrestling show?

Molly Holly vs. Terri

William Regal, who seems to be dating Molly is on commentary. Terri is wrestling in a tank top and underwear so you can imagine who Lawler is cheering for. We start with Terri’s horrible offense (since she’s not a wrestler) as Lawler makes fun of Molly for being a virgin. A suplex gets two for Molly but she gets crotched on top and taken down by a shockingly competent hurricanrana. Not that it matters as Molly small packages her for the easy pin. This got double the time as the match to set up Sunday’s Intercontinental Title match.

Regal escorts Molly out so she doesn’t have to deal with rude Canadian fans.

WWE World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

No DQ. Hogan is defending and comes to the ring on a motorcycle because that’s the plot point of his feud with Undertaker. A shoulder puts Flair down early and it’s time to pose a lot. Flair gets shouldered again so it’s time for an early chair. By that I mean Ric throws one around and tries chops for some reason, only to have Hogan chop him in the corner instead.

Hogan switches over to the much better right hands and a slam off the top as they’re just doing the old standards here. Flair takes over with a low blow and stomps away before starting in on the knee. The knee drop to the knee is blocked and Hogan puts Ric in the Figure Four. Flair makes the ropes and it’s already Hulk Up time. The big boot and legdrop look to finish but X-Pac comes in for the save. Big Show and Bradshaw are your next to run-ins, followed by Austin to Stun Flair, setting up the legdrop to retain the title.

Rating: D. Hogan and Austin in the same match and somehow the idea of them doing ANYTHING together was never even teased on TV. Pay either of them whatever they want to set that match up as I’m sure one of them would be able to get over their legacy issues if the check was big enough. Anyway, Hogan was much more in his element here: getting in and out in less than two minutes and having more than enough interference to keep him from actually wrestling.

Flair yells at the NWO and makes a lumberjack match with Austin facing the newest member of the team. Fine, but have we gotten a reason as to why Flair is with the NWO or whether or not he’s actually with the team? I know he’s hanging out with them but he’s not in NWO gear and isn’t announced as an official member. Ignoring the fact that Flair would be the last person to join that group, could they at least make this a bit more clear?

Hardcore Title/Women’s Title: Bubba Ray Dudley/Trish Stratus vs. Steven Richards/Jazz

Richards and Jazz are defending and only one title changes if the champions lose. Bubba throws Trish onto both champions to start and tells Richards to shut up. Trish takes Jazz inside for the opening bell before Bubba splashes Richards into Jazz. That means Jazz falls face first into Richards’ crotch. It’s funny you see. The weapons are brought in because the match is half hardcore (just like the division for years now).

Bubba starts punching Richards and crushes his crotch with a hockey stick and stop sign. Since we haven’t buried this idea into the ground enough, here are Crash Holly and Justin Credible to unsuccessfully go after the title. Steven tags Jazz in because tags exist in a hardcore match. Jazz’s double chickenwing slam sends Trish crashing to the mat but a quick Stratusfaction gives Trish the title back.

Rating: D-. My head hurts again and most of it is due to that hardcore nonsense. This story could have been done just as easily (and far more effectively) with the men being left out. At least Trish won the title back in her hometown, which makes you wonder why they didn’t just do the title change at Wrestlemania about six weeks ago. The hardcore stuff got the focus because it’s flashier and the title change is overlooked. Such is life in 2002 WWE.

Trish tells Bubba to get the tables and the already knocked out Jazz is powerbombed. Nice one WWE.

Undertaker has nothing to say about last week’s motorcycle incident. That’s probably better for everyone involved.

We run down the pay per view card. I’m not exactly thrilled, even with all the gimmicks included.

Goldust and Booker T. will be lumberjacks tonight so Goldust has given Booker a costume. We get part of the Lumberjack Song from Monty Python and Booker finally snaps. I don’t know what it is about these things but they keep cracking me up. It could be that it’s two guys with comedic chemistry and funny material instead of unfunny people with no chemistry and bad material. Just a thought.

Bradshaw vs. X-Pac/Big Show

X-Pac starts for the team and gets thrown around like the smaller guy he is so Bradshaw can drop some elbows. Bradshaw makes the mistake of going after Big Show though and gets double teamed with Show pulling him down by the hair. X-Pac gets thrown around some more until Show hits Bradshaw in the back with a chair. Two chokeslams give X-Pac the easy pin.

Rating: D-. Was this supposed to be interesting? The NWO is down to the sixth original member and someone who left the team twice, plus Ric Flair (maybe). It took two members plus a chair shot to beat BRADSHAW. The team can’t even beat midcarders on their own anymore and it’s not even sad anymore. Now it’s just annoying and a really big waste of time.

Hogan, in a helmet and leather jacket, says he was thinking about taking the gear off and scaring hoodlums in neighborhoods but he’d rather be a lumberjack. Cue Undertaker to beat Hogan down and tie him to the motorcycle. Undertaker then rides it around the back of the arena in something that looks like it belongs in a straight to DVD comedy which isn’t funny in the first place. Actually, I think Hogan does something like this in Suburban Commando (which is a classic and therefore doesn’t fit the earlier description).

After riding around the back of the arena for a bit, which looks more fun than dangerous and painful, Hogan crashes into some cardboard boxes. That could be very abrasive to the skin, especially in leather. This was more funny than bad but can I get Hogan in a leather jacket and helmet rampaging through neighborhoods and beating up low level criminals? That almost has to be a rejected movie script somewhere. Hogan gets looked at by medics and put in a neck brace, despite that probably being the safest stunt this side of a stunt man you’ll see in WWE.

Steve Austin vs. ???

Flair has handpicked the lumberjacks so Austin beats up the low level heels for a warmup. The newest member is….Booker T. Well who else was it going to be? Like seriously, who else? Regal maybe? Eddie? It’s not like Booker is doing anything else at the moment other than the funniest stuff on the show. Luckily Booker is completely willing to join the team, even though it’s a downgrade from the Lumberjack Song. Lawler: “Who wouldn’t want to be in the NWO?” JR: “Just about anybody with any common sense.” True story.

Booker hammers away and Austin hammers away before grabbing a spinebuster to take over. The FU elbow is broken up by Boss Man pulling Austin to the floor so Brock can beat him up. A ram into the post only gives Booker two so Austin hits another spinebuster and the worst right hands I’ve ever seen him throw. Flair and the NWO beat on Austin some more but he clotheslines Booker as he gets up from the Spinarooni. The NWO beats up Austin for the third time so he hits Booker low, beats up more lumberjacks, Stuns Regal…..and rolls Booker up for the pin.

Rating: F. My head is exploding from watching this. In case it’s not clear, Austin is fighting the NWO, which they established earlier tonight, over the last several months, plus THREE TIMES IN A FIVE MINUTE MATCH. The NWO has turned into a horrible disaster (which wasn’t that far of a fall in the first place) and now the newest member, and pretty easily the most talented member of the team at the moment, is losing in a 10 on 1 match? Booker is the kind of guy who could easily be elevated to the main event (which is DYING for fresh blood, especially on the face side) but he’s jobbing to Austin like this? There are no words.

Post match Arn Anderson of all people jumps Austin from behind and a big beatdown ends the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This show has turned into a circus and the NWO is stuck in the tiny car. The ONLY face worth anything on this show is Austin and he’s stuck with this never ending NWO feud where he’s clearly slumming it, even when the entire team is fighting him at once. Flair is a low rent version of Mr. McMahon, Brock is stuck fighting the Hardyz again and again, Booker is now in the NWO because reasons, Eddie and Van Dam are talented but are basically this show’s cruiserweights (have the only good matches all night and then get forgotten by the halfway point) and the women are fighting about being virgins.

I don’t even know what to make fun of on here. They know how to put on good shows but this whole EVERYONE IS A HEEL BUT AUSTIN schtick is getting old. Let Van Dam go fight in the main event or have Booker help in the fight against the NWO instead of joining it. Just do…..ANYTHING other than what they’re doing at the moment. I have no idea who thinks this is the best way to go about doing things but something needs to change and it needs to change soon because this is some of the worst wrestling TV I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 10, 2016
Location: Oracle Arena, Oakland, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

We’re less than three weeks away from Hell in a Cell and only one of the namesake matches has been set up so far. The interesting question is what will be the second (if not the third): Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens or Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Both have been announced for the show but neither has officially been announced as taking place inside the Cell. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Sasha Banks to get things going. Sasha says she’s on top of the world right now and wishes Eddie Guerrero a happy birthday. She spent years watching Eddie lie, cheat and steal his way to the top. Last week she was in the main event of Raw, just like Trish Stratus and Lita were all those years ago. Sasha knows the rematch is coming at Hell in a Cell so let’s put it inside the Cell for the first time ever.

Cue Charlotte but Rusev (now with sideburns) and Lana of all people come out to interrupt. Rusev says no one cares about this women’s revolution but Charlotte takes the mic from him and, with Stephanie style tones, asks Rusev who he thinks he is. The match with Sasha is on inside the Cell.

Rusev takes the mic back and says good for you but he wasn’t done. This time it’s Sasha taking the mic away and throwing it to the mat. Lana says Sasha and Charlotte need to learn their place because they’re whining like little girls. That earns Lana a shove down and Rusev gets dropkicked out to the floor. Roman Reigns comes out to prevent the male on female violence. The match really doesn’t need to be inside the Cell from a storyline perspective but this is the next logical step for the women being treated as equals and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Here’s New Day to talk about the history of sports in Oakland, including the Splash Brothers and the Bash Brothers. That brings them to the most famous friends though: Danny Tanner and Uncle Jesse. See, there’s about to be a full house because New Day is three of a kind and they’re about to deal with a pair in Cesaro and Sheamus. Kofi has a hot garbage sign to describe Sheamus and Woods says the title match at the pay per view will prove that New Day rocks.

Cesaro vs. Kofi Kingston

Cesaro shoulders him down to start as we hear about Demolition’s record again. Apparently Sheamus is on Facebook while he’s sitting on the steps, not watching the match. They head outside for a staredown as we take a break. Back with Kofi getting two off a middle rope crossbody as Sheamus is still on Facebook. Trouble in Paradise misses and it’s time for the Uppercut Train. Kofi escapes a Sharpshooter attempt but tweaks his leg on a springboard attempt. Sheamus decides to go after Francesca and the distraction lets Kofi small package Cesaro for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: C. This was more about advancing the story than the match itself and that worries me. The announcers kept talking about how Cesaro and Sheamus have no chance to win the titles, making me think that’s exactly what’s going to happen. New Day has gone on WAY too long to let this thrown together team beat them for the belts two months before they break a nearly thirty year old record.

Tonight it’s Charlotte/Rusev vs. Reigns/Banks. Am I missing something or did Charlotte dropkick Rusev earlier tonight?

We see Goldberg’s comments on “Sportscenter”, where he said he’d love to face Brock Lesnar again.

Bayley vs. Cami Fields

Cami starts fast with some shoulders in the corner and stomps her way out of a sunset flip attempt. That’s about it though as the Bayley to Belly finishes Fields at 2:19.

Dana Brooke jumps Bayley post match.

Chris Jericho is on the phone with someone and says he wants a pay day. R-Truth comes up and offers him a Payday candy bar. I’ll take it if Jericho doesn’t want it.

Drew Gulak/Tony Nese vs. Sin Cara/Lince Dorado

You knew Cara would be involved in this sometime. Gulak and Dorado start things off but an early headscissors means it’s off to Nese. Dorado gets taken into the wrong corner as the fans are dying by the second. A Gory Special has Dorado in trouble and it’s back to Nese for a chinlock. It’s back to Cara for a moonsault to both villains and a springboard crossbody for two on Gulak. Everything breaks down and Cara suicide dives onto Nese. Dorado hits a shooting star press to pin Gulak at 3:17.

Rating: C+. The best thing they could do here is get them out of the ring quickly. This division isn’t working and there’s really no hiding that anymore. Would it really kill them to let some of these guys talk about something other than being athletes and wanting to prove that they’re the best in the world? Like, giving them some characters etc?

Stephanie McMahon invites herself to join Mick Foley’s Cell address.

Here are the bosses with Stephanie making fun of Foley’s red flannel suit. In what sounds like a Home Shopping Network ad, Foley and Stephanie talk about the Women’s Title match being inside the Cell and confirm it for a second time tonight. But wait: there’s more. In a THIRD Cell match, Seth Rollins will be challenging for Kevin Owens’ Raw World Title as well.

This brings out Chris Jericho and Kevin Owens to say Mick has outdone himself this week. Owens doesn’t want to be in the Cell because he doesn’t want to be an old, broken down man like Foley. Jericho wants to know if he and Kevin can have their own private jet if Mick is just throwing out presents. The recklessness involved in putting Owens in the Cell means FOLEY JUST MADE THE LIST! Foley: “I started the List.” Jericho: “YOU JUST MADE THE LIST AGAIN!”

Stephanie tells Jericho to show Foley respect (MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND ALREADY STEPHANIE!!! TWO WEEKS AGO YOU TREATED FOLEY LIKE A THREE YEAR OLD AND NOW JERICHO NEEDS TO RESPECT HIM???) so she has an idea: if Jericho can beat Rollins tonight, he’s in the title match as a triple threat. Because Raw needs to top Smackdown’s triple threat!

Rollins says Stephanie loves to pull strings and is always five moves ahead. Tonight though, he’s going to ruin those plans by beating Jericho. Rollins wants to know what Owens is thinking though because Jericho might go into business for himself.

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

And never mind as Anderson and Gallows jump Enzo and Cass from behind before the match starts. No match.

After a break, Axel and Dallas say they want a tag match.

Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Bo beats on Sami in the corner to start as we hear about Foley making three Cell matches. Well given that they were all challenges issues by wrestlers, that’s not the most impressive things in the world. Axel takes over on Sami and hits a good looking dropkick. Not that it matters as an exploder suplex sets up the Helluva Kick and the Red Arrow for the easy pin on Axel at 2:28.

Lana comes into Charlotte’s locker room and snipe at each other a bit.

R-Truth vs. Titus O’Neil

Apparently Titus is mad about Truth getting the commercial for Payday earlier tonight. Titus throws Truth around to start as Graves plugs the Titus Brand. Goldust gets on the steps for a distraction and Truth grabs a rollup (with Titus’ feet in the ropes) for the pin at 2:12. That’s the second distraction finish tonight.

TJ Perkins comes in to see Brian Kendrick and talks about how Kendrick deserves another shot at the title. They shake hands but Kendrick goes after him, earning a right hand from the champ.

Braun Strowman vs. Splash Brothers

The Brothers are Steven and Clay. Strowman treats them like you would expect and splashes Steven while Clay is on Braun’s back. A double dropkick puts the Brothers down and it’s a running powerslam for Clay. Steven is reversed chokeslammed onto his brother for the pin at 59 seconds.

Braun still wants better competition. In other words: nothing changed this week and the writers get to stretch it out even more.

Roman Reigns and Sasha talk strategy.

Of all things, we get the Rumble by the Numbers video. Tickets go on sale soon it seems.

Charlotte/Rusev vs. Roman Reigns/Sasha Banks

The genders have to match so we start with multiple tags before any contact. Rusev punches Reigns to start and a clothesline gets two. Reigns starts a comeback as the fans want Sasha. The villains are knocked to the floor and we take a break. Back with Reigns caught in a chinlock and more WE WANT SASHA chants. A Superman Punch allows the tag to Charlotte, meaning it’s off to Sasha to clean house. Wouldn’t it have been smarter to not have Rusev tag so the advantage isn’t lost? The double knees in the corner get two on Charlotte and the Bank Statement makes her tap at 9:48.

Rating: D+. Well that happened and it was nowhere near as amazing as the announcers tried to make it seem. The fans really didn’t seem to care about Rusev vs. Reigns as there’s almost no way Rusev is getting the title back and everyone knows it. There was nothing to the match anyway and the sudden ending didn’t help things.

Tom Phillips asks Jericho and Owens about the possible change to the title match at the pay per view. Jericho: “That’s a stupid idiom.” Jericho says if one of them is champion, both of them are champion. Owens throws Phillips out but since Tom doesn’t get out fast enough, HE MAKES THE LIST, under the name Felipe Thomastein.

We see the Goldberg clip again.

Here’s Paul Heyman to discuss said Goldberg comments but first we get another WWE2K17 video, this time of Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Heyman has heard people whispering about Goldberg returning for years now because they want one more spear and Jackhammer. You still hear the chants today and there they go again.

Everyone that got in the same ring as Goldberg was conquered while he was running parallel to Brock Lesnar. It keeps Heyman up at night that Goldberg is one up on Brock so as of tonight, Goldberg is officially challenged to a fight any place anytime. Goldberg can either live in the past or step in this ring and be conquered. In Suplex City, Goldberg is next.

Emmalina video.

TJ Perkins vs. Ariya Daivari

Non-title with Brian Kendrick on commentary. Daivari has to go to the ropes to get out of an early kneebar and we hit the chinlock on Perkins. A neckbreaker gets two on TJ but he comes right back with one of his own. The slingshot dropkick sets up the kneebar to make Daivari tap at 5:14.

Rating: D+. This might have been my breaking point for the division. These matches aren’t interesting and having random people who happened to be in the tournament job to Perkins isn’t helping things. It’s just a total misfit on this show and nothing they’re doing is making it any better. Either make it interesting or scrap the thing already.

Jericho and Stephanie run into each other with Chris saying he thought about putting her on the list. Stephanie is cool with that though, as long as the Raw triple threat beats Smackdown’s triple threat. Jericho needs to remember that Stephanie can’t help him inside the Cell. Not that Jericho asked about it but Stephanie seems to think everyone needs her help. Owens comes up and asks what that was about but Jericho just says friendship.

Hispanic Heritage Month video on Tito Santana. It’s nice to have it be about a wrestler again.

A Tweet from Goldberg says he’ll be on Raw next week.

Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho

If Jericho wins, the Universal Title match becomes a triple threat. Rollins doesn’t care for having a toothpick thrown in his face so he smacks Jericho around. A Blockbuster gets two for Seth and Jericho bails to the floor, only to get caught by a slingshot dropkick. Cue Owens for a distraction so Jericho can take over and we take a break.

Back with Jericho kicking Rollins off the top and slapping on an abdominal stretch. Rollins sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle and gets two off a Sling Blade (which Jericho called loudly). Seth goes up top and slams Jericho off, only to have his crossbody dropkicked out of the air. The low superkick gets two on Jericho but Owens offers a distraction, allowing Jericho to grab the Walls.

A belt shot from Owens gets the same and Rollins takes him down with a suicide dive. The springboard knee to the head gets two on Jericho but he avoids the frog splash. A Lionsault gives Jericho a near fall of his own but he misses a high crossbody. Jericho reverses the Pedigree into another Walls attempt, only to get small packaged for the pin at 19:14.

Rating: B-. The ending was more of a relief than anything else as I really, really didn’t need to sit through another triple threat title match, especially inside the Cell. Rollins vs. Owens isn’t the most interesting thing in the world but Jericho can go and do something else instead of trying to salvage this upper midcard feud.

Post match Owens and Jericho beat on Seth but Rollins fights back and gives Jericho a Pedigree as Owens bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. What is the top story on Raw right now? Is it the Lesnar vs. Goldberg? Jericho/Owens vs. Rollins? One half of Raw vs. Smackdown? Charlotte vs. Sasha? The problem is nothing is standing out right now and it’s hard to care about a bunch of stories that feel like they belong in the upper midcard. I can’t even blame it on Stephanie this week (though her defending Foley had my jaw dropping) because it’s a recurring problem. Owens has had his legs cut off as he’s really just an afterthought at the moment in what feels like multiple feuds.

There’s too much stuff going on near the top and the LONG list of midcard and lower card feuds and stories don’t help things. Tonight you had two cruiserweight matches, that stupid Titus Brand stuff, the random tag feuds and Braun Strowman and I’m probably forgetting some. They need to trim some of this stuff down and stop trying to throw so much bad, unfocused stuff at us at the same time.

Results

Kofi Kingston b. Cesaro – Small package

Bayley b. Cami Fields – Bayley to Belly

Sin Cara/Lince Dorado b. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese – Shooting star press to Nese

Sami Zayn/Neville b. Curtis Axel/Bo Dallas – Red Arrow to Axel

R-Truth b. Titus O’Neil – Rollup

Braun Strowman b. Splash Brothers – Reverse chokeslam to Steven

Sasha Banks/Roman Reigns b. Rusev/Charlotte – Bank Statement to Charlotte

TJ Perkins b. Ariya Daivari – Kneebar

Seth Rollins b. Chris Jericho – Small package

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