Monday Night Raw
Date: May 18, 2015
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

Payback is done and that means we have less than two weeks to go before Elimination Chamber and less than four weeks to go before Money in the Bank. Rollins retained the World Title last night with help from Kane and the Stooges, meaning Kane keeps his job. Now it’s time to find out who is next for the champ so let’s get to it.

We open with the stills from last night’s main event.

Here’s the Authority to open things up. Stephanie says she knows we all missed her and the sweet sound of her voice, but don’t worry because she’s back. HHH hates to be the one that told you so, but he told you so. Rollins is still World Champion because he got the job done over all of his challengers. Therefore tonight, we’re going to be paying tribute to Rollins in something called Seth Rollins: Architect of a Dream, which will include comments from all three men that Rollins defeated last night.

This brings us to tonight, and something hidden behind them. HHH unveils the Intercontinental Title, which will be decided for the first time ever inside the Elimination Chamber. After a quick package on the Chamber, here’s Sheamus to interrupt. Why are we having this Chamber match, when this happened? We see a clip of Sheamus destroying Bryan a few weeks back and possibly putting him out of action.

Sheamus wants the title right now, but here’s Ryback to interrupt. Ryback defends Bryan by saying he’s more of a man than Sheamus will ever be by fighting to become the Intercontinental Champion. If Sheamus likes picking on little guys so much, why not try picking on the Big Guy? Stephanie says they’re both in the Chamber but they’re going to fight each other right now.

Sheamus vs. Ryback

Ryback, with bad ribs coming in, bangs on his chest to start and takes Sheamus down with a Thesz press. A powerslam gets two on Sheamus and they head outside with Ryback and the bad ribs being knocked into the barricade as we take a break. Back with the two of them slugging it out from their knees as Cole thinks Ryback insulting Stephanie told him that Ryback had bad ribs. You know, instead of the tape. Sheamus kicks him in the ribs and hits five of the ten forearms until Ryback pulls him over the ropes.

A powerbomb puts Sheamus down but Ryback can’t cover. Ryback gets two off a spinebuster but Sheamus wants to take it outside. That’s fine with Ryback as he gorilla presses him onto the table for a big bounce. After sending him into the post, Ryback takes him into the corner where Sheamus claims something in his eye. The referee breaks it up and Sheamus nails a Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:06.

Rating: C+. This was about what I was expecting as they’re both the kind of big power brawlers who can pull off this kind of a match very well. Much like last night, WWE is nailing the idea of keeping the losers strong as the referee shoving Ryback away set up the Brogue instead of anything Sheamus did on his own. That’s a nice touch and helps a lot.

Stephanie puts Kane in charge of the celebration tonight. Rollins and the Stooges come in with champagne and give Kane a glass for finally having something to celebrate. This brings in Dean Ambrose to say he’s willing to give Seth a rematch for the title at Elimination Chamber. The Authority says no and leaves with Kane saying the champion gets to decide his own fate. Dean mocks Kane for being their lapdog and asks what Paul Bearer or Undertaker would think of Kane now. That earns him a match against Bray Wyatt tonight and a glass of champagne. Dean: “You shouldn’t drink on the clock.”

Renee Young brings out Neville for a chat. She asks about Neville having to face so much adversity, which Neville says makes him feel ten feet tall. He was the longest reigning NXT Champion of all time……and here’s Bo Dallas to interrupt. Dallas says this is like a fairy tale but in Neville’s case, it’s going to be the little engine that couldn’t. Neville brings up beating Dallas to start his NXT title reign and the fight is on with Dallas going after Neville’s tweaked knee. Neville knocks him to the floor but it’s time for his match.

Neville vs. King Barrett

Dallas is on commentary and says that going after Neville’s knee was a good thing, as it will make a victory mean all the more. Neville fights out of the corner as Booker and Dallas have a battle of wits on commentary. The King starts going after the knee as we take a break. Back with a chop block getting two for Barrett but he misses a running big boot in the corner. Neville hurts his knee on a kick to the ribs and can’t hit the German suplex. The knee buckles one more time and it’s the Bull Hammer for the pin at 7:35. Cole makes sure to remind us of the pre-match attack to keep Neville looking strong.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere but it gives Neville his next feud and Dallas his first feud in the better part of ever. Taking away Neville’s ability to fly is an interesting idea as well as it’s going to make him have to show what he can do otherwise. Good storyline development in a not great match.

Post match Dallas comes in and goes after the knee again by wrapping it around the post.

Titus O’Neil has been named Celebrity Father of the Year.

Here’s Rusev for his explanation of last night but with no Lana in sight. Rusev says there is no Lana here and that he didn’t say he quit when he was ranting in Bulgarian last night. Therefore, he wants to restart the match against Cena right now. Instead he gets a leggy blonde who he told to not come out here again. Rusev isn’t just the Bulgarian brute because he’s misunderstood.

She believes in him and has believed in him every step of the way. The accent is starting to break as she speaks. Rusev calls her pathetic but she tells him enough because she just wants what’s best for the two of them. Lana couldn’t watch him in all this pain but Rusev says he doesn’t need her so get out. Lana walks away as Rusev screams at her even more.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray puts him down to start but misses a backsplash, allowing Dean to tie up the legs and rip at Bray’s face. Back up and Bray hits a big clothesline followed by a kick to the back and a kick to the chest. We hit the chinlock for a few seconds before Bray knocks him into the ropes. Instead of pulling him back in, Bray slides outside and pulls him from the ropes and into a suplex. Think Orton’s DDT but a suplex to the floor instead.

Back from a break with Bray kicking Ambrose down before they both head outside for a double clothesline. The fans want tables because a good wrestling match isn’t enough for them. Dean fights back with his punches and chops before tying Bray in the ropes for the running dropkick. Bray is hung over the ropes for a middle rope Fameasser for two. A low bridge sends Wyatt to the floor but he partially blocks the suicide dive.

Back in and both finishers are countered before Bray nails Dean to block the rebound lariat. Now the rebound lariat connects and Dean loads up a superplex. Bray shoves him off but the middle rope backsplash only hits mat. Dean goes up but here are the Stooges to interfere with Noble shoving Dean into Sister Abigail for the pin at 13:30.

Rating: B-. Fun brawl here which is exactly what it needed to be. Bray is starting to get his feet back under him after the waste of a loss against Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Ambrose is likely getting the title shot at Elimination Chamber, which may be repetitive but at least it’s not the Kane vs. Rollins showdown that 18 people might want to see.

Tough Enough videos. We have over a month of these things to go?

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Woods is banned from ringside so it’s Kofi/Big E. here. Before the match, New Day thinks it’s unfair that they have to defend their titles against FIVE other teams inside the Elimination Chamber. Even the simple illiterate people here can understand why this is unfair. Cesaro and E. start with Cesaro being dropped out of a gorilla press, Ultimate Warrior style. That’s fine with Cesaro as he hits a delayed vertical suplex to put New Day on the floor, setting up Kidd for a hurricanrana off the apron as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro uppercutting Big E. but getting taken down in a belly to belly. Kidd comes in off the hot tag to clean house as Cole announces R-Truth, Rusev and King Barrett for the Intercontinental Title Chamber match. Kidd puts Kofi in the Sharpshooter but E. makes the save. Cesaro comes in to slug it out with E. and the match is thrown out at 5:54. Not enough of the match was shown but it was just a way to extend the feud.

Woods comes out to keep up the brawl post match but here are the Lucha Dragons, Los Matadores, Ascension and the Prime Time Players to give us our six teams. The Dragons dive on everyone not named Woods (or Sin Cara/Kalisto) and the Players beat up Woods. Cole confirms that these are the six teams for the Chamber in case it’s not clear.

It’s Open Challenge time. Cena says last night’s win can be summed up in three letters: USA. He has the honor to carry the red, white and blue into battle every night. Men like the soldiers in the crowd are the reason that make this title mean more than anything else in this company. Everyone has a shot at this title and this is our championship. It’s time to give someone a shot,

US Title: John Cena vs. Kevin Owens

Oh my. Oh my indeed. Owens is the defending NXT Champion and brings the belt with him. He congratulates Cena on his win last night before saying there’s no need for an introduction. If you don’t know who he is, then Owens just doesn’t have time for you. Owens is here to give Cena some peace of mind.

Cena may think that he injured Sami Zayn, but Owens was the one that injured him a long time ago. This Wednesday at Takeover: Unstoppable, Owens is going to finish what he started with Sami months ago. Cena isn’t cool with Owens saying the people don’t matter because there’s no WWE without them. He has some veteran advice for Owens, but Kevin says he’s been doing this longer than Cena. The difference is that he just didn’t get a break until now, so Cena doesn’t get to give him advice.

Cena warns him instead. Sami Zayn blew out his shoulder and said give me everything you got. Owens doesn’t have that fire in his eyes and he’s in way over his head right now. Cena is ready to go but Owens says he already has a prize in the NXT Title. Therefore, no match tonight but they’ll fight one day on Owens’ terms. Kevin kicks Cena in the ribs and nails the Pop Up Powerbomb before picking up both titles, only to throw the US Title down and stomp on it. Good grief how amazing do the next five or so years sound in WWE?

We look back at Bryan vacating the title last week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Stardust

Uh…sure. Ziggler gets taken down to start so Stardust can stomp on the ribs before hitting a hard clothesline to go after the bad eye (busted open last night). Back up and a Zig Zag gives Dolph the pin at 1:28.

Post match Ziggler says his eye hurts but the loss hurts more. It’s hockey time though and chicks dig scars so here you go. Cole tells him that he’s the last entrant in the Elimination Chamber. So other than Rusev and Ryback, everyone else is a standard Intercontinental Title level guy. Great way to elevate the title.

Ziggler says he’ll go through anyone to get the title and here’s a very smiling Lana to kiss Dolph. He doesn’t seem to mind so she does it again for a big smile. Cue a livid Rusev to beat Ziggler down and stare at Lana. She slaps Rusev in the face and draws a huge LANA chant, followed by the Zig Zag from Dolph. Well so much for Lana meaning anything.

Kane glares at Adam Rose and Rosa for kissing in the back.

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan vs. Fandango/Zack Ryder

Harper headlocks Fandango to start but walks into a dropkick. They head outside with Harper kicking him in the face before handing it off to Rowan for a splash. The fans want Ryder but get a tornado DDT from Fandango to Harper, setting up the hot tag to Ryder. Zack starts to clean house but walks into a spinning Boss Man Slam, setting up the hot tag to Rowan. Luke superkicks Ryder right into a full nelson slam for the pin at 3:25.

Rating: D+. Just a way to establish that Harper and Rowan are back together to destroy people. I’m not sure why they’re not in the Chamber over, say, Los Matadores, but at least there’s a team around to destroy everyone. Nice squash here and at least they kept it short instead of keeping up the false hope.

Stephanie cuts the Bellas off in the back and does her condescending talk to Brie about her emotions over Bryan. She’s scheduled some counseling sessions for Brie over her issues, and therefore Brie isn’t allowed at ringside with Nikki.

Divas Title: Naomi vs. Nikki Bella

Naomi is challenging after pinning Nikki last night. After some big match intros, Nikki pulls her in from the apron and nails a big clothesline to send Naomi out to the floor. A suicide dive takes out Naomi and Tamina as we take a break. Back with Naomi putting on a chinlock as trainers are checking on an injured Tamina. Nikki comes back with a forearm and dropkicks, followed by a backdrop. There’s the Rack Attack but Tamina comes in with a superkick for the DQ at 6:29. Again not enough seen to rate but this wasn’t much to see.

Post match Paige comes in for the save but lays out Nikki with the Rampaige because she wants the title.

We look back at Owens laying Cena out earlier.

HHH shakes Owens’ hand. Renee comes up and asks what that was all about. Owens says the Authority liked what he did so much that they’re giving him a match against Cena at Elimination Chamber.

The cast of the Entourage movie will be here next week.

It’s time for The Architect of a Dream celebration with the Authority and Kane hosting. Stephanie introduces Rollins, flanked by the Stooges. HHH praises the champ and says everyone is going to get to praise him individually. It’s Kane up first for his usual mention of Rollins being short but he’s proud of Rollins for still being champion because Seth is best for business. Rollins: “That’s all you have to say?” Kane begrudgingly thanks Rollins for saving his job and has a video ready for Seth.

After a nice video on Seth’s days with the Authority, Noble says there’s a saying in West Virginia: cream rises to the top. It’s been an honor to protect Rollins and the most important title in WWE. Mercury is about to speak when Dean Ambrose comes out to interrupt.

Stephanie goes into her evil voice but Dean says he was busy looking for the perfect Justin Bieber outfit for Rollins. He’s here to give Seth one more chance for a match with him, as long as the title is on the line. Seth says Dean needs to go to the back of the line with Roman Reigns and Randy Orton, but Ambrose calls himself a notorious line jumper. Stephanie tells Rollins to get him so there goes the jacket and the brawl is on.

The Stooges immediately intervene but Dean cleans house. They fight to the floor with Seth being backdropped onto the announcers’ table and Dean unveiling a batch of cinder blocks. He loads up a Conchairto on the blocks but Stephanie says let Seth go and he’ll get a title match.

Dean doesn’t answer but the Stooges take the chair away from him. Ambrose easily fights them off and dives onto the Stooges and Kane before heading inside to go after Rollins. HHH saves the champ and Kane gets in a kick to Dean’s face. The chokeslam is countered but Rollins saves Kane from Dirty Deeds. A Pedigree leaves Dean laying to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I had a good time with this show as they’re hitting the ground running to get to Elimination Chamber. Owens stole the show though as he had one of the best main roster debuts I can remember in a good while. I’m not wild on having the next pay per view so soon, but at least they’re getting us through the rushed build as fast as they can. Good show this week as they’re moving things forward for a change.

Results

Sheamus b. Ryback – Brogue Kick

King Barrett b. Neville – Bullhammer

Bray Wyatt b. Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail

New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd went to a double DQ when all four fought in the ring

Dolph Ziggler b. Stardust – Zig Zag

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan b. Fandango/Zack Ryder – Full nelson slam to Ryder

Nikki Bella b. Naomi via DQ when Tamina interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s the final show before Payback and there have been some notable changes in the last few weeks. To begin with, the show has felt a lot tighter lately as there has been a lot less talking and a lot more fighting, which makes for a better run show. We need to wrap things up before the four way and the fact that we’re in Ambrose’ hometown should help. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH saying that daddy is home to straighten things out. This has been my biggest issue with Rollins and HHH: why in the world is Rollins acting like he’s HHH’s four year old son and trying to please him all the time? He’s the WWE World Champion and he’s still cowering in fear of HHH. Just let him be a man for once. You can still have him be a heel and everything will be fine, but let him have a backbone around the Authority for a change. You can do that without having him rebel.

Anyway, HHH is here to put an end to Kane vs. Rollins. For some reason, HHH implies that he and Kane have been friends for years and this isn’t the Kane he knew. As I said last week, when were they EVER friends? Just because something happened in the past doesn’t mean they’re friends now. Look back at Wrestlemania XXX where Piper and Hogan were about to fight all over again. The big reveal of this: if Rollins doesn’t keep the title on Sunday, Kane is out of a job. In other words, it’s all about Kane. Again.

Kane put all of the participants in the title match on Sunday in action tonight, starting with Ambrose squashing the Stooges.

Sheamus was on commentary as Barrett beat Ziggler in a short match, followed by a Brogue Kick. I like this loose association between Sheamus and Barrett as they would make a decent on/off tag team.

Erick Rowan squashed Fandango because…..well why do you think he did?

Cena’s speech before the Open Challenge was about how important the US Title is because anyone can have a chance at taking it from him. That’s a great line and very true. The match against Neville was as awesome as you would expect with Neville hitting the Red Arrow until Rusev interfered because that feud MUST continue.

These Open Challenges have been one of the best things to happen to Cena in years. You might have noticed that the fans have been saying LET’S GO CENA more and more recently and there’s a reason for that: he’s been treating us to some great wrestling every single week. At the end of the day, that’s what it boils down to: the fans want to see good wrestling and Cena lets things open up a bit instead of doing the same stuff over and over again. Let Cena, one of the best of all time, wrestle someone new every week and this is what you get.

Rusev knocked Cena out with the Accolade post match to appeal to the false hope demographic.

Kane and Reigns brawled instead of having a match, setting up a rematch on Friday.

Tamina beat Brie Bella to set up the tag match Sunday. Nikki is so far and away better than Brie in the ring that it’s unreal.

Curtis Axel and Macho Mandow beat up the Ascension instead of having their match. The pain this brings me knows no bounds and I hope the real team breaks them into more pieces than Brutus Beefcake’s face.

Daniel Bryan has to vacate the Intercontinental Title due to his injuries. I know it’s sad but this really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point. Bryan needs to go away until he’s ready, then find another 15 doctors to say he’s really ready.

Cesaro beat Big E. in a decent power match. Just a setup for Sunday.

Elimination Chamber is coming back two weeks after Payback. That’s four weeks before Monday In The Bank. To translate, here’s how the WWE is thinking these days:

“LET’S GIVE THEM A LOT OF COOL FREE STUFF!!! THEN THEY’LL PAY FOR THE UNCOOL STUFF!”

Also they won’t promote the old wrestling stuff for whatever reason. Instead it’s Jerry Springer’s horrible show, their animated stuff (including that one episode of Hulk Hogan’s Rock and Wrestling they put up) and the podcasts. Mention the old wrestling and it would get pushed too.

Bray Wyatt said what Bray Wyatt says and Ryback leveled him. I still have no idea why they’re fighting but Wyatt needs a point again soon.

Orton and Rollins had the same match they’ve had over and over again until the Stooges came in for the DQ. This was one of those matches where you were just waiting for the DQ and they didn’t hide the fact whatsoever. Everyone came in for the show ending brawl with Ambrose standing tall.

This wasn’t a great stand alone show but it was a really fun go home show. Most of the matches for Sunday got time and the fans were hot all night. Throw in a good Cena open challenge and there’s not much more you could ask for. Fun stuff here and everyone looks good going into Sunday.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 11, 2015
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

It’s the go home show for Payback and the big story tonight is the return of the Authority, who are back after a few weeks off on vacation. Coming out of last week, the most interesting change is Cincinnati’s own Dean Ambrose being added to the main event on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

HHH arrives without Stephanie. There may be hope yet.

Opening sequence.

Here’s HHH to get things going. He talks about how his kids are so much better behaved when he says Daddy’s home, which is how things need to be around here with Kane and Seth Rollins. Seth is out first and agrees with what HHH (his daddy you see) said: they need to be on the same page. The fans want Ambrose but they get Rollins calling Kane a 7′ cancer trying to kill the Authority from the inside.

Rollins rants about Kane making the App vote to set up the triple threat, which was then turned into a fourway with Dean Ambrose. Seth: “THERE! Are you happy? I said his stupid name!” Maybe it’s time for Kane to be put aside as Director of Operations, because he’s not the same Kane that HHH used to run with. When were they EVER friends? Was that in the glorious Attitude Era when everyone was just so close in the destruction of WCW, which of course was never any sort of threat to the WWF, especially with DX around to win the Monday Night Wars totally on their own?

The argument starts again but HHH cuts them off to say he understands that Rollins can be annoying at times. However, he and Kane need to work together. Therefore, if Seth doesn’t leave Payback with the title, Kane must set himself on fire. Sorry, bit of a flashback there. If Rollins doesn’t keep the title, Kane is out as boss. HHH needs to makes sure Kane is invested in the plan though, so he makes Kane vs. Reigns and Rollins vs. Orton tonight. Noble interrupts but HHH laughs the Stooges off and makes short jokes before putting them in a handicap match with Ambrose.

Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose beats on Mercury to start and clotheslines him out to the floor before going after Noble for a change of pace. Jamie begs off and runs to the floor to escape Dirty Deeds, allowing Mercury to sneak in from behind and pull Dean off the top and onto the ropes. Joey’s chinlock doesn’t do him much good as Dean sends the Stooges into each other. Jamie gets chopped down but Mercury breaks up the bulldog out of the corner. That earns them a double suicide dive, followed by the top rope standing elbow for two on Jamie. Dirty Deeds ends Noble at 5:23.

Rating: D+. What do you really want me to say here? It’s a total massacre with Dean never breaking a sweat to win. I’ll give them this though: the Stooges are a better option in the ring than the originals, as you could only but Patterson and Brisco as a physical threat against a handful of people. Noble and Mercury aren’t great, but they’re hardly ancient.

Cole says there’s an interesting poll on WWE.com where fans give Ambrose a 25% chance to win on Sunday. Just….yeah.

Dolph Ziggler vs. King Barrett

Sheamus on commentary and Barrett’s pre-match promo tell us that it’s Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Barrett vs. Neville on Sunday. Ziggler superkicks Barrett at the bell for two and we take an early break. Back with Barrett putting on a royal chinlock before Dolph fights up for two off a Fameasser. A dropkick gets the same for Dolph and draws Sheamus out of his chair. The distraction lets Barrett nail the Bull Hammer for the pin at 6:00. Too much in the break to rate but this was nothing to see.

Post match Sheamus yells that Dolph isn’t fit to clean his shoes and winds up eating a Brogue Kick.

Erick Rowan vs. Fandango

Harper is in Rowan’s corner and this is revenge from Smackdown where Rowan laid Fandango out. The announcers take bets on how long it takes Rowan to crush Fandango. A spinwheel kick and full nelson slam give Erick the pin at 37 seconds.

It’s Open Challenge time and Cena is surprised that there are some people here who sound like John Cena fans. Whether you like him or hate him, it’s pretty clear that everyone respects the US Title. Cena believes that this is the greatest country on earth and this title is its trophy.

There are wrestlers who will work their entire lives and never get a chance at the WWE Title, but that’s what makes the US Title special: everyone has an opportunity to take this from him. Everyone except Rusev that is, because he wants his match at Payback. People have advised Cena to cancel the Open Challenge tonight, but Cena thinks we should ask the people. The fans want a match so the challenge is on.

US Title: John Cena vs. Neville

Neville tries an armbar to start but the champ drops him with an elbow to the jaw for two. We hit the chinlock but Neville fights up and dropkicks Cena outside as we take a break. Back with Cena hitting the shoulders until he walks into a German suplex for two. Cena rolls outside and takes a huge corkscrew Asai moonsault with a big crash landing. Back in and a middle rope Phoenix Splash gets two on Cena. Neville fires off his kicks but charges into a sitout powerslam for two.

Cena can’t follow up but he can roll through Cena’s middle rope cross body into an AA, only to have Neville flip out and blast Cena with a superkick for two. The Red Arrow takes too long to set up though and Cena pulls him into the STF, only to have Neville roll over for two. Cena gets annoyed with Neville and takes his head off with a clothesline. Back up and Cena misses a charge and gets kicked in the head, only to snap off an AA for two. Cena loads up the super AA but Neville counters into a sitout powerbomb. The Red Arrow connects but Rusev comes in for the DQ at 14:47.

Rating: B+. Well of course Rusev comes in because THIS FEUD MUST FREAKING CONTINUE EVEN THOUGH NO ONE BUT THE LAZY WRITERS BECAUSE THEY DON’T WANT TO HAVE TO DO ANYTHING NEW AND JUST HAVE THE SAME STUPID MATCH OVER AND OVER UNTIL NO ONE CARES ABOUT RUSEV BECAUSE CENA BEATS HIM THREE PAY PER VIEWS IN A ROW. Great match of course but gah I’m sick of this Cena vs. Rusev feud because no one on the planet buys Rusev as having a chance save for a fluke ending.

Rusev Accolades Cena post match and we get the eternally stupid question of CAN RUSEV MAKE CENA QUIT ON SUNDAY? Allow me to put this politely: STOP BOOKING CENA IN I QUIT MATCHES BECAUSE THE IDEA STOPPED BEING INTERESTING TEN YEARS AGO!

Kane vs. Roman Reigns

Kane jumps Reigns during his entrance and destroys him before the bell. Reigns fights back and knocks Kane into the barricade, only to be sent hard into the steps. The announcers’ table is loaded up but Reigns dives over the steps and Superman Punches Kane onto the table. A spear onto but not through the table puts both guys down. No match.

Brie Bella vs. Tamina

This is basically a proxy match for Naomi vs. Nikki. Tamina takes Brie down with some hard shots, including a stiff clothesline for two. Brie flips out of a belly to back and fights back, only to screw up a ram into the buckle. How can you possibly screw up pushing someone into a buckle? The running knee in the ropes has Tamina in trouble but she comes back with a superkick for the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. How do you screw up ramming someone face first into the buckle? It’s hard for me to say this but Nikki is so far ahead of Brie in the ring that it’s not even funny. Brie didn’t look lost out there but she didn’t look polished on offense. Granted it might be because she’s been relegated to a glorified cheerleader in recent weeks.

Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow

Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Mandow loads up the elbow about thirty seconds in but cue the Ascension to say this isn’t entertaining. This is now the age of total devastation so welcome to the wasteland. Ascension hits the ring at about 2:00 for the no contest…..and they’re promptly beaten down as the new Mega Powers hit the leg and load up the elbow but Ascension bails. We even get the big handshake as the Ascension is further buried. And yes, this is being buried.

Tough Enough videos.

Here’s a sad looking Daniel Bryan with something to say. He’s been in and out of doctors’ offices lately and it’s given him a lot of down time. Bryan needed to be back here with his music playing and the fans cheering for him. He can’t remember how long the fans have been cheering for him like he’s something special but it was about a year ago when he had to vacate the World Title. Stephanie McMahon told him that he couldn’t do it last year and as much as he hates to admit it, she was right.

Last year he couldn’t wrestle and give the title the respect that it deserved. That brings him to tonight, as he doesn’t know if he can defend this title regularly. He recently had an MRI and the doctors aren’t sure when he’s going to be able to get back in the ring. The fans deserve wrestlers fighting for this title in this ring, and this ring is where Bryan is going to leave it. Tonight the title is officially vacated. Daniel and the fans thank each other and he walks away.

Here’s New Day for a match but first, Woods says don’t be sad over Bryan because it’s a NEW DAY. Everyone deserves a second chance (Big E.: “Except Pete Rose.”), so they’re giving Cesaro and Tyson Kidd a second chance on Sunday in a 2/3 falls match.

Big E. vs. Cesaro

Cesaro grabs a quick slam for two before knocking E. to the floor for a break. Back with Cesaro reversing an abdominal stretch into a gutwrench suplex. Cesaro has to roll away from a Warrior Splash but gets caught by a Rock Bottom out of the corner for two. Back up and Cesaro hits a ridiculous springboard spinning European uppercut before rolling some Germans. Kidd and Woods get into it on the floor but the distraction lets Cesaro small package Big E. for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. This was decent enough but they needed less time in the break and more time in the match itself. Cesaro continues to thrive in this face role as we’re seeing what fans wanted to get last year instead of the Paul Heyman guy disaster. Nice little TV match here, but there’s nothing these teams can’t pull off.

Axelmania/Macho Mandow vs. Ascension on the pre-show. Well of course it is.

There’s going to be a second pay per view in May, featuring the return of the Elimination Chamber on May 30, or two weeks after Payback.

The Prime Time Players imitate the New Age Outlaws this week. If you’re not down with that, they have three words for you: millions of dollars.

Here’s Bray Wyatt to talk about the fear that is sold to us every day. Fear of a crumbling economy that will never stop. Fear of a global conflict. Fear of a dying earth. Ryback must be such an inspiration to all of you. His ankle was destroyed and he was told he might never get in this ring again. Ryback got back in though and destroys everything in his path, but he’s never seen anything like Bray Wyatt before. Sometimes the bad guy just wins. Only on C level pay per views, so Bray has a good shot on Sunday. Cue Ryback to clean house.

Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and Rollins is on his own. Orton runs him over to start and stomps away but Rollins sends him into the middle buckle. A knee to the back sends Orton to the floor and us to a break. Back with Orton in a chinlock before fighting up and nailing a superplex. They slowly slug it out with Orton taking over off some clotheslines but charging into an elbow to the jaw.

Rollins dives into the powerslam for two but nails the springboard knee to the jaw for two. He really likes hitting Orton in the jaw. A t-bone suplex puts Seth down but Orton rolls outside, setting up the suicide dive from the champ. They’re just trading big moves here. Back in and the RKO is countered into the low superkick (of course to the jaw) for two more. Rollins charges into the elevated DDT and the RKO is loaded up but we’ve got Stooges for the DQ at 14:15.

Rating: C. This was decent enough but they weren’t hiding the impending DQ. I’m not a fan of matches like these but the majority of the match was spent trading big moves, which at least keeps things interesting. It’s nothing great, but I don’t think this is going to be as well received as it should.

Post match Orton gets beaten down but Kane comes out to get a chair. Ambrose and Reigns come out to clean house, leaving Rollins surrounded. Kane watches as Seth takes all three finishers but Reigns spears Orton down, only to walk into Dirty Deeds to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. It’s nowhere near as good as last week, but that’s not a fair standard to live up to. The key improvement in the last two weeks has been the pacing. They’ve cut WAY down on the amount of backstage segments and it’s made the show so much easier to sit through.

Those times in the back where Kane and Rollins bicker and the Authority cuts their stupid promos that say nothing but eat up five minute each would bring the shows to a grinding halt. However, we really, really need to get past Payback so we can get in a fresh story….which will last two weeks until the Elimination Chamber because WE MUST SELL THE NETWORK! EVEN IF THE PLAN DOESN’T REALLY MAKE SENSE!

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Dirty Deeds to Noble
Erick Rowan b. Fandango – Full nelson slam

Neville b. John Cena via DQ when Rusev interfered

Tamina b. Brie Bella – Superkick

Curtis Axel vs. Macho Mandow went to a no contest when Ascension interfered

Cesaro b. Big E. – Small package

Randy Orton b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 4, 2015
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Booker T.

We’re already getting close to Payback and a lot of the card is already set just a little over a week after Extreme Rules. Seth Rollins is ready to defend the World Title against Roman Reigns and Randy Orton at the next pay per view in a triple threat match. The bigger story though seems to be Rollins vs. Kane, which has been brewing for months. Let’s get to it.

We open with Randy Orton, who thinks Payback is the perfect name for this upcoming pay per view. It’s time for him to get his payback on Rollins, and if Reigns has to get in the way so be it, because Orton is walking out champion. This brings out Reigns, who says Orton’s words won’t be coming true. If anyone is getting payback, it’s him. The fans chant RKO, but Reigns says the people don’t fight for Randy. Orton compares their resume and says Reigns has some catching up to do. Reigns brings up beating Randy back at Summerslam and has no problem breaking him in half again at Payback.

Cue the Auth……..uh……actually IT’S A NEW DAY! Woods says that as the only champions here, it’s their job to spread the positivity. No one cares about the Montreal Boo-job (that sounds like a Bo Dallas line) they have going on right now. Kingston says Rollins doesn’t just have Orton’s number but he’s got it on speed dial. Big E. offers them a chance to clap along with the New Day. Kofi: “I TOLD YOU THEY WOULDN’T DO IT!” A handicap match has been made.

New Day vs. Roman Reigns

Non-title. Of note here: the bell rang at 8:14, after a commercial. That’s the kind of speed I want in my opening segments. Kofi and Orton don’t do much so it’s off to Woods, who gets nailed by a hard shoulder. Woods’ leapfrog is countered into a Samoan drop, followed by the tag to Orton. The two man team take turns working over Woods until a Kofi distraction allows for the tag to Big E. It doesn’t take long to get back to Woods for a dropkick as we take a break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of Kofi’s chinlock but getting caught in some suplexes from Big E. for two. We hit a front facelock from Kofi and a chinlock from Xavier until Reigns finally powers out. A clothesline sets up the hot tag to Randy to clean house, including catching a springboarding Kofi in a powerslam. There’s a Superman Punch to Big E. and the elevated DDT to Kingston. Woods gets the RKO but Reigns spears Orton by mistake and Kingston gets the pin at 13:15.

Rating: C+. Totally logical and well done match with the CHAMPIONS WINNING. They had me thinking they were going to do the stupid “champions with an advantage lose” thing but instead they keep the losers looking strong and give the champions the win. That’s all I can ask for so the clapping was a nice bonus.

Kane comes out and says these two aren’t done yet and it’s Reigns vs. Orton for the main event.

After Kane’s announcement, he runs into Rollins in the back. Seth again dangles the Authority over Kane’s head (is the Authority just never in contact if they’re not on TV?) but Kane makes Rollins vs. Ambrose again for tonight but bars the Stooges from ringside. Rollins yells so Kane threatens to tie Rollins’ arms together for the match with Ambrose.

Renee Young (looking spiffy as always) brings out Ryback for a chat. He has no idea why Bray Wyatt has been going after him. The fans chant Goldberg and Ryback says he loves the fans too, because if he ignores it they’ll just keep doing it. That starts a FEED ME MORE chant so maybe he’s onto something. Ryback talks about being hungry to be a hero every single week to every kid in this audience. Last week, Bray Wyatt woke Ryback up and now he’s hungry. Talking time is over and now it’s feeding time. This brings Bray to the screen to talk about fear making us pledged allegiance to higher powers. Ryback will fear him as well.

Ascension vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro

The inset interview has the Ascension talking about Tyson being a Hart wannabe. Viktor stomps Kidd down in the corner to start and Ascension starts taking turns on him. Konnor gets two off a suplex and Viktor follows it up with a middle rope kick to the chest. Kidd rolls over for a hot tag to Cesaro for about ten running European uppercuts in the corner to Viktor, who stupidly kicks out at two. Kidd takes Konnor out with a flip dive and it’s the Swing into the dropkick for the pin at 4:07. Cesaro and Kidd got a huge face reaction here.

Rating: C+. THIS is the Kidd/Cesaro that the fans have been dying to cheer for months and they were on fire tonight. They’re developing an awesome chemistry together and Cesaro’s power hasn’t looked as good in a long time. Watching this match, you totally get the desire to see Cesaro become a breakout star. Really good stuff here from one of the best tag teams in a long time.

Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title rematch from Smackdown with the Stooges barred from ringside. Before the match, Kane comes out to raise the stakes: if Ambrose wins here, he’s added to the triple threat match to make it a fatal fourway. Rollins is livid but Dean takes the mic from him and says it’s a great idea. Kane says ring the bell so Dean rolls Seth up for a quick two.

Some chops send Seth to the floor but the champ takes over, only to throw Ambrose in for that 619 on the mat spot and takes Seth down again. Back in and Dean gets two off an elbow and hammers away in the corner before sending Rollins into the opposite corner for a Flair Flip. Seth comes back with a snapmare into a chinlock but Dean tosses him outside as we take a break.

Back with Rollins cranking on the neck and sending him face first into the middle buckle. The springboard knee misses though and Dean nails a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Dean slugs away and hits his bulldog, sending Rollins to the floor. Ambrose nails a suicide dive and the fans are very impressed. It’s only enough for two though and Dean is frustrated.

The standing elbow drop gets the same but Seth comes back with the springboard knee to the head. Another slugout leads to a Cactus Clothesline from Ambrose to put both guys on the floor. Rollins gets the better of it with a running powerbomb into the barricade and the fans are way into this again. Dean somehow beats the count back in at nine and a half and Rollins is livid. Seth hammers away in the corner and nails the enziguri but Dean hits the rebound lariat. Cue the Stooges because stipulations mean nothing, but Dean rams them into each other and rolls Seth up for the pin at 16:33.

Rating: B+. I don’t think this holds up due to some stupid stipulations/loophole, but man alive these two work well together. This was more about topping each other instead of the violence that made their feuds work so well before, but this was fine in its own right. Dean is another good example of a guy who can easily get a win like this and bounce right back to the top. It made me chuckle when people said he was buried after losing to Wyatt.

Post match Rollins storms into Kane’s office and blame him for the situation but Kane says the fans picked the match and Rollins lost to make it a fourway. Maybe Seth would like six, seven, even ten challengers instead? This is all to make Seth into the champion they want him to be, and Kane has a plan.

Lana doesn’t know anything about getting a positive reaction. Fandango comes up and says you have to accept the fans. He leaves so Rusev comes in and yells at Lana.

Fandango vs. Rusev

The fans chant for Lana as Rusev gets going. Fandango gets in a quick shot so Rusev throws him to the floor, where Fandango gets Lana to start dancing. Rusev snaps and nails Fandango before ejecting Lana, but the dancer sends him into the post. Back in and some dropkicks have Rusev in trouble, but the jumping superkick and Accolade end Fandango at 2:14. So to recap, Rusev is Marc Mero and Lana is Sable?

Tough Enough audition tapes.

R-Truth vs. Stardust

Rematch from last week’s King of the Ring match. Stardust comes out with a mystery bag. A release gordbuster puts Truth down to stat and a running stomp to the chest has him in more trouble. The fans get bored as both guys collide and begin to entertain themselves. Truth wants to know what’s in the bag and finds….plastic spiders. Stardust rolls up the freaked out Truth for the pin at 2:55.

Cena comes out for the open challenge but has to wait for the fans to tell him that he sucks. Cena: “I quit.” He tries to talk about how those words have meaning now but gets cut off by an OLE chant. Some people would love for him to quit now, but he’s learned to deal with these reactions. Everyone knows he doesn’t give up and he won’t at Payback in his final match with Rusev. Even if he loses, he’s done because there’s no reason for him to have a rematch if he quits.

Cena calls the fans passionate but goes back to Rusev, saying Rusev just wants the title. On the other hand, Cena is fighting for everything he believes in. If your back is up against the wall and someone puts a mic in your face, would you say you quit? There’s a guy in a Nordiques jersey (old Montreal hockey team) because even though they left in 1996, that guy still won’t quit. Cena is proud of that title and will never give it up. In two weeks, the champ is here. Right now though, it’s open challenge time.

US Title: John Cena vs. Bret Hart

Wait what? Bret says he’s here to introduce the real opponent, but gets cut off by the man answering the challenge.

US Title: John Cena vs. Heath Slater

He isn’t getting cut off again this week because two weeks ago it was an RKO out of nowhere and then Rusev jumping him out of nowhere. Slater is tired of getting attacked out of nowhere, so there’s a mic to his head from Bret. Now here’s the REAL challenger.

US Title: John Cena vs. Sami Zayn

YES! I can’t remember the last time I actually pumped my fist and shouted YES at the TV for an announcement but it happened tonight. In a travesty of justice, this is joined in progress with Sami sending him to the floor and teasing a dive. Back in and Sami gets caught in a side slam into a chinlock, followed by a belly to back for two. Then the referee stops the match and throws up an X with Sami holding his shoulder. Oh no man not now.

Sami says he can keep going and the fans love him even more. Cena is tentative to go after the arm so they circle each other a bit until Cena gets him into the corner for some right hands. Zayn comes back with a clothesline but comes up holding his shoulder. Cena loads up the finishing sequence but Sami counters the Shuffle into a rollup for two. John bails to the floor, allowing Sami to hit the big flip dive, but Cena slaps on the STF back inside. Zayn gets over to the ropes for the break and can barely move.

The Downward Spiral into the Koji Clutch out of nowhere has Cena in trouble but he floats over into the AA, only to get caught in a flat German suplex for two. Rusev and Lana are watching in the back as Cena nails Sami with a clothesline. The AA is countered and a double clothesline puts both guys down.

Cena rolls outside and gets caught by the running diving DDT through the ropes to knock Cena silly on the floor. Back in and the AA hits for…..two? The Blue Thunder Bomb gets the same and the fans are losing their minds on these kickouts. Cena’s springboard Stunner sets up another AA to finally retain the title at 10:40 shown.

Rating: A-. They give Stardust vs. R-Truth a full match and THIS gets clipped down? That shoulder story worked great and Sami looked like the pluckiest underdog in the history of dogs that are under, which is basically his character in a nutshell. I really hope this is the start of Sami’s main roster run as he can clearly hang on this stage.

Cena helps Sami to his feet and leaves him alone for a standing ovation from his hometown crowd.

The Bellas are coming to the ring and New Day is STILL celebrating in the back. I want to marry this show and divorce it after about four years.

Renee is trying to find Sami for an interview but New Day comes up to continue celebrating. Big E. says victorious about five times and Woods plugs his E:60 special tomorrow night on ESPN. Cesaro and Kidd break up the NEW DAY ROCKS chant but Woods calls Tyson a catastrophe of a Canadian. This negativity will not keep the champions down but Kidd starts a NEW DAY SUCKS chant.

Nikki Bella vs. Naomi

Naomi and the returning Tamina Snuka jump the Twins from behind with Tamina nailing a superkick to Nikki’s chest. Well it’s kind of hard to miss. Naomi says this is what family is all about. No match, which is probably the smartest thing they could have done. Also, I’ll take Tamina (who is Naomi’s cousin by marriage) over a Funkadactyls reunion every single day.

Here’s Bad News Barrett for the first time since winning the crown. Barrett: “Hear ye you filthy commoners!” Oh yeah he’s going to nail this. He talks about Princess Charlotte being born a few days ago and says how great a week this is for the royal family. Great, great stuff here as Barrett’s voice makes the character.

Sheamus/Bad News Barrett vs. Dolph Ziggler/Neville

Barrett kicks Ziggler in the ribs to start but gets thrown to the floor as we take an early break. We come back with Ziggler fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock but getting caught in a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. Sheamus talks a lot of trash, allowing Dolph to score with a sweet superkick. Dolph gets the tag and Neville comes in like a house of fire, including the big spinning flip dive to Barrett.

Back in and the standing moonsault gets two before Neville has to duck the Bull Hammer. A German suplex gets two on Barrett as Ziggler and Sheamus fight outside. Neville kicks the King in the head and goes to the apron, only to springboard into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 8:38.

Rating: C. Nice little tag match here but it didn’t have time to do much with the break at the beginning. Sheamus and Barrett make a nice heel team and could be a fun act together for a good while to come. If nothing else, swap them with Big Show and Kane as the Authority’s enforcers.

Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Before the match, the Authority comes out to delay things even further. Noble is guest ring announcer, Mercury is guest timekeeper, Kane is guest enforcer, and Rollins is guest commentator. Cole: “Thank you mayor of Munchkin City.” The bell rings at 11:02 and there’s no contact in the first thirty seconds. Orton tries an RKO out of nowhere but Reigns shoves him away and starts a slugout.

Reigns takes him down with a Samoan drop and they go outside. Your guest ring announcer takes a right hand to the jaw and Kane gets stared down. They trade secondary finishers and Orton takes over with the powerslam. The RKO is countered and Reigns nails the Superman Punch, only to have Kane pull him outside. Orton gets beaten down as well and we’ll call it a no contest at about 6:30.

Rating: D. Nothing match here but did you expect anything else? There’s nothing else to talk about here so I’ll save you some time.

Reigns dives on everyone but the beatdown is on until Ambrose makes the save. Reigns takes an RKO and Orton eats Dirty Deeds to leave Dean standing tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Well that’s about as good of a show as I’ve seen since……the Raw after Wrestlemania XXX? Everything was on point all night with the right pace, the right decisions and A LOT of really good wrestling. This was the kind of show they needed, but now they need to keep things going. Of course it doesn’t have to be at this pace because that’s an unfair request, but something with this kind of energy and logic will do wonders for them. Outstanding show.

Results

New Day b. Randy Orton/Roman Reigns – Kingston pinned Orton after a spear from Reigns

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro b. Ascension – Cesaro Swing into a dropkick to Viktor

Dean Ambrose b. Seth Rollins – Rollup

Rusev b. Fandango – Accolade

Stardust b. R-Truth – Rollup

John Cena b. Sami Zayn – Attitude Adjustment

Sheamus/Bad News Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler/Neville – Bull Hammer to Neville

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns went to a no contest when the Authority interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

This was kind of a special episode as the King of the Ring was announced and set up in the span of a single day. Apparently the idea was to have it spread into May on the Network where people would have to pay for it, but since May is ANOTHER free month, they’re just turning it into a two night event instead. That makes me so much happier to have paid for the Network since day one. Let’s get to it.

We open with the story that just won’t die as Kane, Rollins and the Stooges are in the ring. Uh let’s see: Rollins brags, Kane blames Rollins for whatever (that’s a good point: why are these two even fighting? I think it’s something to do with Kane thinking Rollins is ungrateful or something, but they keep shouting all the time and it’s really gotten lost in the shuffle), Rollins tells him to shut up, they bicker like two idiots, Orton and Reigns come out and want title shots, Kane says it’s POLL TIME!

Barrett beat Ziggler in a pretty lame tournament match. That’s going to become a recurring theme: tournament matches mostly suck because they need to fly through the first round and there’s not much time to do things like build up a match.

Xavier Woods cheated to help Big E. beat Tyson Kidd. How nice is it to see someone cheating like a good old fashioned villain?

Ryback squashed Bo Dallas and then got beaten up by Bray Wyatt. This was pretty clear after the weights line from Bray last week, but I’m really not sure where this one is going. Ryback vs. Wyatt could be an interesting feud, but it could also be one of those where you watch the match, tilt your head a bit and then say “well that…….sucked? I think?” It’s an odd pairing but I like both guys so it could go somewhere. Oh and one more thing: why are people SO obsessed with seeing Bo Dallas as Bray’s disciple? Yeah they’re brothers. Does that mean they have to be together on screen? I’ve never gotten the mass appeal of the pairing.

There was no open challenge this week as Rusev came out beat up Heath Slater before he could answer and then did the same promo they’ve done about 15 times now. I’m really starting to get worried about Rusev as more than once now I’ve forgotten what he’s been doing since he lost the US Title. One day someone in WWE is going to have to sit down with me and explain the psychology behind taking someone who was really getting over and then having them lose on pay per view three times in a row to the same guy. I’m guessing this leads to Lana’s big face turn, but do we really need to kill Rusev to get there?

Kane and Rollins did their same schtick of threatening to call the Authority because the 7′ monster and the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION are the little kids to HHH and Stephanie’s mom and dad. This bickering angle is really getting old and again, I have no idea what I’m supposed to find interesting about it.

R-Truth beat Stardust to advance. You think I have anything else to say about this?

Adam Rose beat Fandango. To quote myself from the original review: “This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.”

Brie Bella couldn’t remember what emotion she was supposed to have when talking about her husband’s career possibly being over. Naomi shoved her down to continue trying to make the Bellas into faces because……well someone has to be in this division.

Naomi then beat Brie with one of the worst small packages I’ve ever seen. I’ll give them this though: there was a clear heel and face in the match and I had a reason to care about seeing Brie beat Naomi up. That right there is all the story I need. You have a villain and an opponent (I still can’t bring myself to call her a hero) who can give her what she has coming and maybe the match won’t suck. On a good day. Maybe.

Sheamus beat Dean Ambrose via DQ to advance when Dolph Ziggler interfered. Ambrose looked good out there and it was one of the better matches of the night, so there isn’t much to say here. One good thing though was Dean freaking out that Ziggler interefering was a DQ. His I GET DQ’d FOR THAT was right up there with Hogan thinking that Jimmy Hart wearing a striped jacket and counting the pin at Wrestlemania IX was enough to win the Tag Team Titles.

Damien Sandow’s new gimmick is mimicking people. You know, like four year olds do. I give this a month, max. There was something in there about beating up Curtis Axel too.

Neville beat Luke Harper because Neville is pretty awesome. This was a god way to have a young hero stand up to a monster like Harper and come out looking great. Neville is getting one of the best pushes I’ve seen in a long time and I’m getting more and more into his matches every single time.

The main event was a long Reigns/Orton vs. Rollins/Kane tag with Reigns pinning the champ. This was your standard main event tag match, meaning it was entertaining enough but longer than it needed to be.

The triple threat option won the poll because…..it’s too late in the night for sarcasm. It won because it’s a triple threat and that’s the only thing that was ever going to win.

This show was about setting up Payback and the tournament as fast as they could because somehow, despite OWNING ITS OWN NETWORK, WWE still can’t figure out something as simple as a schedule to let pay per views be properly built. Not a very good show but it did its job well enough. These episodes of building up future shows are never all that great so this was about as good as you can get, especially with the tournament stuff shoehorned in.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 27, 2015
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Booker T.

We’re past Extreme Rules but the more interesting story is the return of the King of the Ring tournament. The tournament is back for the first time in seven years with the finals being held tomorrow night during a Network special. Other than that we have all the Extreme Rules fallout to get through. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are the King of the Ring brackets.

Dean Ambrose

Sheamus

Neville

Luke Harper

R-Truth

Stardust

Dolph Ziggler

Bad News Barrett

Rollins, Kane and the Stooges open us up. Rollins brags about what he did last night and runs down his resume in recent weeks. It was clear that Rollins was going to win from the start last night and the SKO (yes SKO) out of nowhere was a nice touch. Seth says you need good soldiers and thanks Kane for his help, but the monster isn’t happy with that. After some yelling and comparing Rollins to Justin Bieber, here’s Randy Orton to interrupt.

Randy gets right to the point: due to Rollins cheating last night, it’s time for a rematch. This brings out Roman Reigns who seems to think he has a case for a title shot as well. While standing on the announcers’ table, Roman talks about their history together and thinks it’s his turn for a shot at the title. Rollins says no but Kane says it’s going to be up to the WWE Universe.

King of the Ring First Round: Dolph Ziggler vs. Bad News Barrett

Before the match, Ziggler swears payback on Sheamus. Perhaps at Payback? Barrett punches him into the corner to start and kicks Ziggler in the face. A quick dropkick puts Bad News on the floor and we take a break. Back with Barrett kicking him in the face and knocking him to the floor. Ziggler is right back in there though and counters Winds of Change into the running DDT.

Barrett gets back up in a hurry though and gets two off Wasteland. The Bull Hammer is countered with a superkick for two but here’s Sheamus with stills of the post match humiliation from last night. The distraction works as Barrett Bull Hammers Dolph from the apron to advance at 8:24.

Rating: D+. As is so often the case, not enough time means not much of a match. This is a common occurrence in tournaments: you have to get so many matches in that you have to keep things moving, meaning there’s no time to get anywhere with a lot of them. You can pretty much pencil in Ziggler returning the favor later on.

Here’s New Day for Big E.’s match, but before the match, Woods wants to thank all of the clappers out there. It’s not just a New Day, but it’s time for a new clap, so try this one on: New Day ROCKS! You can imagine the fans’ reaction.

Big E. vs. Tyson Kidd

Kidd goes right after Big E. to start but slingshots onto E.’s shoulders. Tyson quickly escapes though and kicks Big E. in the head before stomping to the beat of the chants in the corner. A running kick to the face from the apron knocks E. down again but Big E. hits a clothesline with Woods holding Kidd’s foot for the pin at 1:25.

Ryback vs. Bo Dallas

Before the match, Bo gives Ryback one chance to walk away before the beating begins, but he makes sure to insult the Packers fans in the audience. After a GO PACK GO chant, Ryback slugs Bo down but Dallas gets in a series of forearms to the back for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit but Ryback destroys him with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock are enough for the pin at 2:06.

Post match we’ve got Wyatt in the ring to stare down Ryback and hit a quick Sister Abigail. I can dig this feud, and no I don’t think we’re seeing/need a Bo Dallas/Bray Wyatt connection.

Here’s Cena for this week’s open challenge. Last night he was on a high after defending the title against Rusev again, but then he saw Rusev and Lana announce one more match for the title. It’s an I Quit match at Payback, which sounds right up Cena’s alley. He’ll never say he quits, but he if does, there’s no rematch because Cena couldn’t face himself anymore. As for tonight though, the challenge is open.

US Title: Heath Slater vs. John Cena

Slater has a mic with him and says he’ll win the title tonight and become the US Champion of the world. He talks about recreating Aaron Rogers’ Discount Double Check but gets kicked in the head by Rusev. Lana comes out waving but gets sent to the back as Rusev rants about the fans giving up already. No match. The Russian flag drops, which makes Cena get all serious. Why doesn’t he just talk to the production staff and not let them put the flag in place?

Kane explains that the fans can vote for who faces Rollins on the WWE App, sending Rollins into a frenzy. He threatens to call HHH or Stephanie so Kane gives the fans the option of making it a triple threat. Seth is livid.

King of the Ring First Round: R-Truth vs. Stardust

Truth wants to win so he can get rid of all spiders. Stardust wants to become King of the Stars. The Cody chants start up as Stardust nails him in the jaw coming out of the corner and stomps Truth in the back. A chinlock keeps things slow and Stardust busts out a cartwheel. Booker: “Why?” Truth comes back but misses the ax kick. They trade rollups for two each until the Disaster Kick is countered into Little Jimmy (called the Lie Detector) for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D+. Yeah whatever. Truth was the obvious winner as soon as Barrett won, which is one of the things that gets old in a hurry about tournaments. Once one guy wins, it’s almost obvious who is going to win the next match because some matches just aren’t going to happen. Nothing to see here with an obvious winner.

Fandango vs. Adam Rose

Fandango starts fast by sending Rose to the floor for a big dive, only to be distracted by Rosa Mendes, who was disguised as a Rosebud. The surprise allows Rose to hit the Party Foul for the pin at 1:50.

Rosa can’t believe Fandango picked the fans over her and kisses Rose. This is the latest story that people aren’t going to care about and is going to be a waste of time.

We go to Renee Young with Brie Bella, who is WAY too happy to be discussing her husband’s health. Renee brings up Bryan and the smile goes away. Did they just not tell her what they were talking about? They want Bryan back in the ring and are so grateful for the fans’ support, but Naomi comes up and shoves her down. No one cares about Brie or Bryan apparently.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

That’s a very quickly signed match. Naomi gets in a cheap shot from behind to start, followed by a hard forearm to the face. Thankfully Nikki is on the floor so we don’t have COME ON BRIE in a mic this week. Brie comes back with a running faceplant and BRIE MODE. The middle rope dropkick gets two but Naomi gets a horrible looking small package (Brie’s shoulder wasn’t being touched and there was no reason she couldn’t raise it off the mat) for the pin at 3:40.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing to see, but my goodness how much easier are the Divas to sit through when the stories are a bit more logical? Naomi is a jerk and attacked Brie when she was talking about her injured husband. That minute long segment set up the match and made perfect sense. Why is that so hard to do so often?

King of the Ring First Round: Dean Ambrose vs. Sheamus

Dean’s decrees if he becomes King: remove all tariffs on ale, ban pop-country and have all disputes settled in street fights. They shove each other into the corner to start until Sheamus drops Dean with a shoulder. Dean takes him to the mat and ties up the legs to try a wrestling match, earning him a right hand to the face. Dean’s bulldog is countered but he hits a forearm to send Sheamus outside as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus hitting his release suplex slam. Ambrose finally scores with the rebound clothesline and both guys are down. Back up and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Dean to send him shoulder first into the post. A powerslam from Sheamus looks to set up White Noise but Dean counters into Dirty Deeds, which is countered into the Cloverleaf.

Dean gets to the ropes for the break and has to fight out of the ten forearms. The top rope standing elbow gets two before they fight to the floor with Dean clotheslining him off the announcers’ table. A Brogue Kick out of nowhere nails Ambrose but Dolph runs in for the DQ at 12:41.

Rating: B-. This was rolling along until the obvious ending. As I’ve harped on all night: tournaments are the most predictable thing in wrestling, but fans always clamor for them if you just slap the King of the Ring name tag on there. I was digging the heck out of this match until Ziggler ran in though, which is a shame.

The best part here comes from Dean after the match: “I GET DQ’D FOR THAT???”

Here’s Damien Sandow for his first comments after last week. Three years ago he arrived in the WWE in a blue bathrobe and said he would enlighten everyone. After that he was told he just wasn’t entertaining enough so he started going insane imitating people (complete with stills of some of his better/worse moments, depending on your taste). This culminated in Damien Mizdow, which lost him some respect among his peers but gained him the respect of the WWE Universe, which is more important than anything else he could have. He isn’t sure where he goes from here, but Curtis Axel comes out to help guide him a bit.

Axel can’t stand someone not knowing who they are and trying to be someone else. So WHATCHA GONNA DO…..but Sandow cuts him off by imitating everything Axel says like a four year old does and eventually punches Axel out and drops the Wind Up Elbow and a legdrop for good measure.

Bray Wyatt talks about learning to play with fire but doesn’t know if Ryback will ever learn. Will Ryback ever learn, or will he always be obsessed with himself? Ryback is transparent and Bray knows what scares him. Tonight was only the beginning so run.

Tough Enough audition tapes.

King of the Ring First Round: Neville vs. Luke Harper

Neville grabs a headscissors to start and kicks Harper to the floor, setting up a hurricanrana off the apron. Back in and Harper knocks a springboarding Neville out of the air for two to take over as we go to a break. Back with Neville fighting out of a chinlock and kicking Harper to the floor for a top rope Asai Moonsault to drop Harper again.

Neville gets two off a standing shooting star but Harper just kicks him in the face and plants him with a half nelson suplex. The big sitout powerbomb gets two for Harper and the fans think this is awesome. They head to the corner with Neville kicking him in the head, setting up a sunset bomb from Neville. The Red Arrow connects for the pin to send Neville to the semi-finals at 10:17.

Rating: B. That was by far and away the best match of the night for multiple reasons, but above all else it was due to the match being a tossup. I could have seen either guy going over here and that makes things far more interesting. Good stuff here with Neville’s rocket push working more and more every week.

Here are the final four.

Barrett

R-Truth

Neville

Sheamus

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins/Kane

Reigns takes Rollins into the corner to start so Randy can kick him in the ribs. Rollins bails to the floor so it’s off to Reigns vs. Kane with the former planting him with a side slam. Back to Kane who pulls Orton into the corner for some stomping as JBL won’t shut up about how unfair the idea of a triple threat is. We take a break and come back with Rollins holding Orton in a chinlock.

That goes as far as a chinlock is going to go as Orton fights up with a t-bone suplex, setting up the tags to the power guys. Roman fires off clotheslines in the corner, capped off by a big one from the middle rope as everything breaks down. The Authority is sent to the floor but Mercury break up the big dive. Roman follows Joey around and winds up walking into an uppercut from Kane to take over again. Reigns wins a slugout with Rollins so the champ kicks him in the face for two.

Kane scores with the side slam for two before putting on a bearhug. The slow beating continues until Roman finally slams Rollins down, allowing for the hot tag to Orton. Everything breaks down again and Reigns powers out of a chokeslam, only to have Rollins dropkick Kane by mistake.

Mercury is thrown into Kane, allowing Orton to hit the elevated DDT on Seth. The RKO is countered into a rollup, followed by the low superkick to knock Randy to the floor. Seth tries a suicide dive but hits Kane, sending the monster into a rage against the Stooges. An uppercut drops Rollins and it’s the Superman Punch into the RKO for the pin on the champ at 18:38.

Rating: C+. Longer than it needed to be here but the ending did what it was supposed to. At least Kane isn’t going to be added into the title picture, but it’s not the most interesting story in the world regardless. Reigns getting back into the title hunt is a good idea though and it sets up a more interesting match at Payback.

Triple threat gets 78% of the poll. This would be more surprising if WWE hadn’t spoiled the results last week. Rollins eats a spear to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t the best but it had two major stories going on at the same time. The tournament was the standard for a first round of a tournament and the poll results were never in doubt, but they kept the show moving enough with far more action than talking, which is more important than anything else. Good enough show here as they’re finding a good balance to make things work and get through these never ending rematches.

Results

Bad News Barrett b. Dolph Ziggler – Bull Hammer

Big E. b. Tyson Kidd – Clothesline with Woods holding the foot

Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock

R-Truth b. Stardust – Little Jimmy

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Small package

Sheamus b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

Randy Orton/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Seth Rollins – RKO to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UYAMB8U

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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I’ve seen worse.Dean Ambrose
Sheamus

Neville
Luke Harper

R-Truth
Stardust

Dolph Ziggler
Bad News Barrett

Not bad other than basically giving Barrett/Ziggler a bye into the finals.  I’m assuming it winds up with Sheamus vs. Ziggler again because WWE loves their rematches.

With just six days to go until Extreme Rules, WWE has a long way to go to get me interested in the show. It isn’t likely helping that they’re just back from the big European tour and are likely to be jetlagged half to death. The big story is likely to be more build between Rollins and Orton, who are loading up for a pretty lackluster title match. Oh and Kane because of reasons I don’t understand.

Orton opened the show in a cage, promising to hurt Seth this Sunday and take the title. Rollins and the Stooges came out and told him to get this out of his system now because it won’t work on Sunday. This sounds appealing to Randy, who promises RKO’s all night.

I really, really didn’t care for this segment as it’s more of the old standard walking you through everything they’re doing that night instead of doing anything that feels organic or natural. Why do they have to tell us everything they’re going to do instead of SHOWING US everything they want to do? Just have Orton start RKOing everyone backstage and let the fans go “oh that was cool” instead of sitting around waiting for it. Not a fan here but this story isn’t exactly one that inspires intellectual stimulation.

Ambrose and Harper had a quick non-match to set up their street fight on Sunday. These two could have an entertaining brawl if they’re allowed to just go nuts.

The Prime Time Players continued their recent awesome run by scaring the daylights out of Rollins and the Stooges, who are terrified of Orton attacking them. HHH popped up and laughed off their worries, as well as mentioned Kane because that’s the big story around here.

New Day, now fully heel, cheated to earn a title shot on Sunday over the Lucha Dragons via countout. Notice that they didn’t just have the Dragons get pinned here to kill their momentum. Instead, the faces (or faceless ones actually) lose because the heels cheated, keeping them strong and making the heels look like cheaters. That’s common sense booking and hopefully something that we see more often.

Orton came out and RKO’ed Kingston (with a botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, which looked really bad. He’s done) and Woods. This would be more of the theme that they made VERY CLEAR earlier in the night in case you were too stupid to figure out that Orton is RKOing everyone he can on a path to Rollins. That’s a bit too complicated for wrestling fans I suppose.

Fandango beat Curtis Axel in the weekly filler.

HHH announced the return of Tough Enough and most people didn’t seem to care. Could it be because outside of John Morrison, the most successful winner had a career highlight of eliminating Undertaker from the Royal Rumble and having the most amazing eyebrows in the history of wrestling?

Anyway the REAL story here was Kane coming out and tried to quit his job as Director of Operations because he’s tired of Rollins disrespecting him. Rollins came out and argued a lot as this story just won’t die already. HHH made them shake hands after Kane said the Rollins was just in the right place at the right time and anyone could have been made champion in his place. They kept arguing after a break and Rollins vs. Ziggler was made for later tonight.

Then the Bellas decided they were good now and Nikki shouted COME ON BRIE about 100 times to show off her new found goodness as Brie lost to Naomi. This would be the polar opposite of the “here’s what we’re going to do” booking as instead of showing you every step, they’re just at the end already without any real reason.

Think about it. The Bellas went from being full on villains to halfway down the spectrum in a week and for what? Mainly because WWE screwed up and turned almost the entire Divas division heel. I know I get on the Bellas quite a bit (which I still say they deserve a huge amount of) but the direction of their characters and sudden drastic changes to their characters have been some of the most jarring and worst ideas I have ever seen in wrestling. That being said, they don’t do themselves any favors with their average at best matches and BRIE MODE/COME ON BRIE!

Randy Orton RKOed Heath Slater into his salad. See, THIS is the kind of surprise moment they should have been going with all night instead of telling us the idea.

Roman Reigns wanted Big Show but got Bo Dallas. Superman Punches, spears and Reigns saying Bo-lieve that abounded in a fun little segment.

Sheamus massacred Zack Ryder until Dolph Ziggler came in for the save. This was fine to get the point across.

Cena issued the open challenge and had a horrible match with Kane to retain the title. Here’s a sign of Cena’s greatness: he has bad matches with Kane and Big Show, but name someone else he doesn’t bring up to a higher level. If there are only two people in his career where it doesn’t work, he’s roughly 100 steps above most other talent. Rusev would attack Cena later in the night to set up the title match Sunday.

Bray Wyatt talked about how his new target can’t lift his way out of this one. That makes me think Ryback, which could be a nice surprise or a disaster, though they’ve been treating Ryback like a monster again, which is certainly a good thing.

Miz beat Mizdow in less than three minutes when Summer Rae turned on Mizdow in one of the most obvious heel turns this side of Big Show turn #1894. So to recap, Mizdow takes forever to turn on Miz, loses the battle royal to Big Show after getting really close, then loses two out of the three matches to Miz. Why do I even bother getting behind someone when their big goal is to build someone up to sacrifice them on the altar of WWE Studios? Miz got an RKO to emphasize that the entire Miz vs. Mizdow story meant nothing.

Ryback mauled Adam Rose and then beat up a hot dog and banana.

Kane and Rollins bickered some more with Rollins offering an apology.

Rollins vs. Ziggler was every Rollins vs. Ziggler match you’ve ever seen. The cage lowered post match so Rollins could hide from Kane. If you don’t know what was waiting for him when he turned around to end the show, you haven’t been paying close enough attention.

Raw really wasn’t very good this week and so much of it revolves around how lame the main stories have been. Kane was the focal point of the show this week with this never ending argument with Rollins, which seems destined to result in Kane screwing Orton over on Sunday and the Authority revealing it was all a huge swerve that we never saw coming. The wrestling was nothing to see this week either and it made for a really weak three hours. Extreme Rules and these rematches need to be gone soon, as does Kane’s never ending main event run. He just isn’t interesting and it’s killing the rest of the card.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 20, 2015
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re six days away from Extreme Rules and the card is all set. The main event will be Seth Rollins’ first title defense as he takes on Randy Orton in a cage match with the RKO banned for Orton. As for tonight, one of the major stories will be Kane’s continuing issues with the Authority, as the monster has been having issues with his bosses in the last few weeks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Orton and Rollins earning the right to pick stipulations for the title match on last week’s show.

Here’s Randy Orton as a cage is lowered. He thinks Rollins screwed up with his choice because the RKO isn’t his greatest weapon. Orton’s best weapon is the ability to hurt people in any way that he possibly can. This Sunday, he’s going to break Rollins’ jaw so he can’t run his mouth anymore. Then he’s going to stomp Seth’s ribs until they break. After that, Rollins is going to be sent into the cage so many times that every bone in his body hurts. Then and only then will Orton leave the cage as the new WWE Champion.

Cue Rollins and the Stooges with what sounds like some new music. He talks about Orton having anger issues but Randy cuts him off and says that his issues are with Seth Rollins. Seth laughs it off and says he plays this game of human chess better than anyone because he can outmaneuver anyone inside that ring. He’s the best at everything here and just that much better than Orton. Seth tells him to get it out of his system and Orton thinks that’s a good idea. After this segment is over, he’s going to go backstage and RKO everyone he can find, including Rollins himself.

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

You would think they would save this for Sunday. Harper actually talks on the way to the ring, saying Ambrose will fear him after tonight. The brawl is on fast to start with Harper getting caught in a bulldog, only to superkick Dean down and hammer him in the back of the head. Dean takes him outside and sends Harper into the apron and announcers’ table, only to be tossed over the barricade and into the crowd. They keep fighting up the ramp and the match has been thrown out at somewhere around 2:00.

Harper loads up a powerbomb off the stage but Dean escapes and sends Harper running.

Orton and the Stooges are checking for Orton around every corner when the Prime Time Players sneak up and do the dog bark to scare them out of their wits in a funny bit. O’Neil and Noble have a quick exchange with Noble being called a Smurf before Rollins yells at a production guy. They run into HHH who says he’s been hearing from Kane as he’s been preparing for Tough Enough. Kane will be here later and Rollins requests some more security. HHH says Orton is just one guy and leaves.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

#1 contenders match. Kofi and Cara get things going with Woods on the floor as usual. Both guys tag before anything happens and grabs Kalisto, who tries every spin he can but eventually settles for a kick to the head. A headscissors works a bit better and it’s quickly off to Cara for a springboard forearm to the head for two. It’s quickly back to Kofi vs. Cara and they actually do something this time with Cara armdragging Kingston but getting sent to the floor for a baseball slide to take over.

Back to Big E. who runs Cara over as we take a break. We come back to see Kofi dropkicking Cara in the face before handing it off to Big E. for some clubbing shots to the face. Cara dives over Big E. and makes the tag to Kalisto to clean house, including the headscissor driver to Kofi for two. Kofi gets backdropped to the floor, setting up stereo moonsaults to take New Day down again. Everyone tries to get back in but Woods holds Cara’s foot to send New Day to Extreme Rules via countout at 9:34.

Rating: B-. This really got going at the end and Woods interfering was the right idea. It’s going to be interesting to see heel vs. heel on Sunday but the match should be entertaining. Good stuff here though and a good showcase for the Dragons, who only lose due to the interference and the numbers game.

Post match Orton comes in and RKOs Woods and Kingston (with a slight botch as Kofi wasn’t ready to be thrown into the air, so there goes his push again). Big E. runs away instead.

We recap Rusev attacking Cena to set up the Russian Chain match on Sunday.

Recap of Big Show attacking Reigns last week on Raw and his speech on Thursday to set up the Last Man Standing match on Sunday. Maybe their solution to the ratings issue is to have Big Show put everyone to sleep so they can’t change the channel.

Fandango vs. Curtis Axel

Speaking of don’t change the channel. Axel dances a bit to start but takes too long tearing off the shirt, allowing Fandango to roll him up for two. A Falcon Arrow plants Curtis and the Last Dance is good for the pin at 1:16.

Here’s HHH to talk about the return of Tough Enough. A year ago, the Authority was at a crossroads. They needed to find that one man to carry the company for the next ten years and they found that man in Seth Rollins. Now it’s time to find the next Seth Rollins. That search will begin right here on USA with the return of Tough Enough on June 23. Who hasn’t dreamed of walking down the ramp in front of 76,000 people with the WWE Championship hanging above your head? Right now is your chance to fulfill that dream and you can do that on Tough Enough.

HHH walks us through the application process but gets cut off by Kane. “You’re a little bit seasoned for Tough Enough.” Kane asks why HHH hasn’t responded to the voicemails, texts and emails but HHH says he’s just been letting Kane cool down. It’s been an honor to be Director of Operations, but Kane can’t deal with the disrespect of Seth Rollins so this is his official two weeks’ notice. HHH tries to talk him down but here are Rollins and the Stooges to interrupt. Kane and Rollins start arguing again despite HHH telling them to cool it.

Kane shouts that Rollins is only champion because the Authority decided he was going to be. Would it have been different if they had recruited Dean Ambrose or El Torito? That’s finally enough for HHH (a big Torito fan I guess) who makes Kane guardian of the cage door on Sunday. Seth isn’t cool with this but HHH says the two of them need to get along. A tense handshake ends things.

We recap Paige winning the Divas battle royal but getting attacked by Naomi after the win.

Kane and Rollins are already arguing in the back but HHH comes up and says Kane has lost the hellfire and brimstone. Kane is going to prove him wrong tonight. Rollins smirks a bit but HHH rips him apart, saying the title doesn’t make him the man. Therefore, tonight it’s Rollins vs. Ziggler with Rollins getting to prove himself. Rollins likes the idea, despite almost cowering before HHH.

Naomi vs. Brie Bella

No dancing this week. Naomi’s inset interview talks about how many times she’s had to beat a Bella to get her shot but constantly being told to wait her turn. Nikki sits in on commentary and talks about still being champion as Naomi slides across the mat and kicks Brie in the face. Naomi nips out of a headscissors and Nikki says she’ll fight anyone anytime. Some kicks to the ribs sent Brie to the floor and the show to a break.

Back with Naomi holding a front facelock and slowly stomping Brie around the ring. We hit a chinlock before a double clothesline puts both girls down. Brie fights up and does a face comeback with a middle rope dropkick getting two. Naomi misses a high cross body but hits the Rear View for the pin at 10:01.

Rating: D. They’re turning the Bellas face aren’t they? After all the nonsense we’ve had to put up with from them over the last year and most of the roster wrestling circles around them, now we’re supposed to cheer for them for reasons that have yet to be explained and likely never will be explained. But they’re STARS so that’s what matters right?

Heath Slater tells Erick Rowan that he’s accepting the open challenge for the US Title tonight. Rowan walks away and Slater is RKOed through his salad. Orton even eats some lettuce.

Here’s Roman Reigns to address what happened last week. He wants to fight right now so get out here Big Show. Instead he gets Bo Dallas, who quotes Yoda from Star Wars Episode I, saying that hate leads to suffering. Reigns is suffering after losing at Wrestlemania and is kind of a bust. Despite being Captain Kevlar, Reigns is the Tim Tebow of the WWE: constantly getting chances and screwing up every time. The Superman Punch and spear destroy Dallas as you would expect. Reigns is going to take Big Show out on Sunday, and you can bo-lieve that. I forgot how much I liked Dallas.

Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder

Sheamus says ring the bell and kicks Ryder in the face at three seconds. He slowly turns him over and says that’s too easy. Ryder deserves more than a five second match so Sheamus slowly beats him up in the corner while talking trash on the mic about how the people in this crowd don’t belong in his ring.

That’s a good idea actually as he throws Ryder to the floor and keeps talking about how he’s the real superstar. There’s another Brogue Kick on the floor and Sheamus asks about the New York fighting spirit. He loads up another Brogue Kick but Ziggler runs in for a Zig Zag to send Sheamus running. It’s a DQ win for Sheamus at 3:14 despite the lack of a bell. No rating for obvious reasons.

There’s going to be another live Talk Is Jericho on April 30. The guest: Stephanie McMahon. Just in case you thought the Cena interview was WAY too company friendly.

Here’s Cena for the Open Challenge but first he needs to explain the rules of the Russian Chain match on Sunday. He’ll never give up you see. Rusev is trying to kill the fighting spirit of America but Cena is going to get back up every time he gets knocked down. This Sunday, he’s getting his hand raised and dropping the American flag to prove that Wrestlemania was a statement. As for tonight, someone can come get some but know it’s going to be against a Cena who is ready to fight.

US Title: John Cena vs. Kane

Kane throws Cena around to start and hits the VINTAGE side slam. He kicks Cena to the floor for a nine count and slowly stomps away back inside. Kane follows up the slow stomping with a slow uppercut for two and an elbow gets the same. Cena finally comes back with the ProtoBomb but as is his custom, Kane grabs him by the throat as Cena loads up the Shuffle. Chokeslam gets two but Cena counters the tombstone into the AA for the pin at 6:18. Rollins and the Stooges chuckle in the back.

Rating: D. I’ve seen sparklers with more fire than Kane was showing here. This was five and a half minutes of slow punching before they did the finishing sequence. It doesn’t help that Kane is one of the few people that can bring Cena down to a level that almost no one else can. Bad match here and hopefully the last time they use the open challenge for another story.

Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.

Post break Kane walks past HHH and snarls.

Miz says the only thing that matters is his new movie and the fact that he did it without a stunt double. Renee cuts him off and says we need to go to John Cena.

Cena was surprised by Kane answering the challenge but says the champ will be here on Sunday. Rusev jumps him with the chain and puts him in the Accolade with the chain around Cena’s face.

Miz vs. Damien Mizdow

The winner gets the Miz brand and Summer Rae is with Mizdow. Mizdow goes for the rollup early on but Miz gets away just in time. Cole talks about someone saying the Miz brand is useless. He doesn’t disagree with the statement of course and just keeps going with the commentary.

Miz gets two off a small package and stomps away in the corner to take over. Mizdow comes back with the Reality Check and a discus clothesline in the corner. The low DDT gets two on Miz but neither guy can hit the Skull Crushing Finale. Summer rakes Mizdow’s eyes, setting up the Skull Crushing Finale from Miz for the pin at 2:47.

Miz loads up his catchphrase but eats an RKO. JBL: “He wouldn’t do that to Brad Pitt!” Booker: “He’d do it to Lorenzo Lamas!”

We run down the Extreme Rules card. Daniel Bryan vs. Bad News Barrett is subject to Bryan’s health. Also added is Ambrose vs. Harper in a street fight.

Bray Wyatt asks if people want money, power or respect. Most of the time it’s everything, just like whomever he’s talking about. That person can lift all the weights in the world, but he can never lift the weight of his personal failures. After that moment, he’ll see Bray’s face looking own at him. At that moment, the person will learn that everything he has done has been for nothing. Behold the new face of fear.

Adam Rose vs. Ryback

Rose gets in some shots before Ryback’s two move combination ends this at 1:30.

The hot dog and the banana attack Ryback post match so it’s a double Shell Shock. Ryback: “What did the banana say to the hot dog? Nothing because they just got Shell Shocked!”

Renee Young reads Kane some Tweets from Rollins and the Stooges about Kane being old. Kane goes into the Authority’s locker room and Seth actually says he’s sorry because that was supposed to be a private conversation. The Orton thing has him out of sorts so he’s going to dedicate the match with Ziggler to Kane. The camera follows Rollins and the Stooges out. Orton is watching them.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. Rollins hammers away to start but Ziggler grabs his neckbreaker and drops the big elbow for two. A Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Ziggler quickly throws him back inside for a suplex. Rollins catapults him into the buckle as we take a break. Back with Rollins slamming Ziggler’s head onto the mat and stomping even more.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before Dolph comes back with the running DDT for two. Rollins gets the same off an enziguri but the Buckle Bomb is countered into a sunset flip. Ziggler hits a sweet superkick for two more but Sheamus comes out for a distraction, allowing Rollins to hit the Buckle Bomb and a snap front DDT (think Christian’s layout reverse DDT but with Dolph facing down) for the pin at 10:35.

Rating: B-. Sheamus interfering made sense but I REALLY hope that isn’t the replacement for the Curb Stomp (which has apparently been banned due to the danger of head injuries). Ziggler is a good opponent for someone like Rollins as a loss to the champ doesn’t hurt anyone and he can make Rollins look good in the process. Good match here but they never hit a higher gear.

Post match HHH comes out and cuts on Rollins’ bragging. Seth takes the mic away and keeps talking about how he’s going to take care of Orton this Sunday. As for Kane, HHH needs to stop……something but an angry Kane cuts him off. Rollins asks the cage to be lowered and of course Orton is inside. Seth tries to run but gets pulled off the top into an RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show did its job of setting up Extreme Rules, but it doesn’t help that Extreme Rules isn’t the best looking show in the world. What is there on that show that I should be looking forward to? I’ll say this though: I thought the same thing going into Wrestlemania this year and was blown away so maybe they can nail it twice in a row. Tonight’s show wasn’t terrible but it really didn’t have much to keep me interested. Too many short matches or matches that build uninteresting angles. Hopefully Sunday is stronger, as this wasn’t the best show in the world, but the post Europe show rarely works.

Results

Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper went to a no contest

New Day b. Lucha Dragons via countout

Fandango b. Curtis Axel – Last Dance

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Rear View

Sheamus b. Zack Ryder via DQ when Dolph Ziggler interfered

John Cena b. Kane – Attitude Adjustment

Miz b. Damien Mizdow – Skull Crushing Finale

Ryback b. Adam Rose – Shell Shock

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Falling DDT

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 17, 2003
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

With two shows to go before Wrestlemania, it’s really hard to care about what’s going on right now. Is it really any wonder why Smackdown was beating them at this point? Rock is trying as hard as he can on these shows but my goodness he needs ANYTHING else to help him carry things. Maybe that can be Shawn vs. Jericho but it would help if they actually did something. Let’s get to it.

We open, again, with Bischoff, who says that his match with Austin will be a handicap match. He makes it even bigger by saying the Raw superstars will be the lumberjacks. Thanks for clarifying that as I was thinking it might be, like, the 1984 Atlanta Hawks or the cast of Tremors: The Series.

Chief Morley/Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

Morley threatens the Dudleys with SEVERE consequences if they interfere here. The fans chant USA which tells me one of two things: they want Van Dam to win this on his own or they have no idea that Kane is from Spain. The monster slugs Morley down in the corner and drops him with a clothesline before tagging Van Dam in for the first time. Something like Rolling Thunder gets two on Morley but he drops Van Dam on the top rope to take over.

Rob’s attempts at speeding things up again are broken up by Lance grabbing his leg (clearly still mad at Rob’s post match promo at Barely Legal), allowing the Chief to get two off a good DDT. Morley shows some intelligence by going after the legs but Rob gets two off a rollup and brings Kane back in. Storm gets a tag as well and Kane beats him up as a greeting. The top rope clothesline plants Storm but Morley makes the save, only to get kicked in the face by Van Dam. Everything breaks down and Kane chokeslams Storm for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m so glad Vitamin C beat Kane and Van Dam last week. It makes so much more sense after this match you see. Kane and Van Dam are one of the hottest acts on the show and thankfully they’re getting a nice push as a result. I mean, I can’t picture them taking the titles off of whatever combination of Morley/Storm/Regal winds up with the belts but they’re hot at the moment and make for a good opening match.

Morley rolls away from a post match Five Star but the Dudleys come out…..and put Kane through a table. Well of course they do.

Post break the Dudleys say they hate what they just had to do but need to feed their families. Simple story but at least it makes sense and was an actual explanation for a change.

Here are HHH and Flair with something to say. The champ doesn’t like the idea of Booker thinking that he deserves a title shot so get out here right now and take this beating like a man. Instead he gets Goldust, which isn’t exactly what he had in mind. JR screams that he’s back despite being on the show last week. Goldust says that HHH’s performance may have been Oscar worthy, but deep down (“down there”) in the cock cock cockles of his heart, he must know that you can’t judge a book by its cornbread. This still isn’t funny if that wasn’t clear.

HHH and Flair crack up and HHH imitates the catchphrases with the stutter, so Goldust lays both guys out. That lasts as long as you would expect it to but Booker T. comes out to save us from the stupid angle and Goldust from a Pedigree. They do realize the WORLD TITLE match is in 13 days right? And this is the best they can do? Goldust saying unfunny lines after being electrocuted is supposed to set up a World Title match at the biggest show of the year? I’m starting to understand why this show is so hated.

HHH wants Goldust later tonight.

Rico vs. Maven

You can literally see them going to the concession stands as the bell rings. They trade headlocks to start and Maven shifts over into an armbar. Can you blame the sudden nacho runs? Oh wait let’s cut to Rock arriving, which is probably more interesting than what we’ve got going on here. Rico scores with some kicks, aided by a cheap shot from Jamal and Rosey. Maven comes back with kicks and a neckbreaker, followed by a bulldog for two. More 3MW interference sets up a neckbreaker but Maven counters into a backslide for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh just…..yeah. This is another good example of having no idea what else to do with your two hours so they just throw two guys out there to kill the crowd. Maybe it would help if you had some stories to tell instead of HHH crushing everyone in sight and Rock having to do whatever he can to drag a bored Austin to one last match. Or maybe you could have a midcard title instead of having HHH be CHAMPION OF EVERYTHING.

Shawn and Austin had a discussion about Shawn being a lumberjack. This is news, despite Bischoff saying the entire roster would be at ringside. Austin, as expected, really doesn’t care.

Teddy Long tells Rock that Rodney Mack will take care of Hurricane next. Rodney Mack says the same thing, marking the biggest moment of his career: that time he was on camera with the Rock.

Hurricane vs. Rodney Mack

Mack gets rolled up for an early two and Hurricane elbows him in the jaw for good measure, only to have Teddy Long grab his foot to break it up. Rodney drops some elbows for two but Hurricane hits his usual, including the Shining Wizard. The high cross body and Blockbuster look to set up the chokeslam but Rock runs in for the DQ. This is where the booking goes out the window as there was no reason for Hurricane to not get a pin here. The DQ was just a waste, but at least Hurricane didn’t get pinned.

Rock beats him down post match with stomps and a chair. The idea is supposed to be that Rock is losing his cool over Austin, which they’re somehow doing without having Austin show up that often.

Jazz/Trish Stratus vs. Victoria/Steven Richards

Trish vs. Victoria vs. Jazz is set for Wrestlemania. Maybe this match can go on longer than 20 seconds. Before the match we get a creepy video of Victoria sounding like she wants to sleep with the title. Jazz and Victoria slap it out to start with the former getting the better of it but Victoria gets two off a powerslam. That’s fine with Jazz who gets the same result off the same move, but shockingly enough, NO ONE CARES ABOUT JAZZ. Off to Trish to wake the fans up a bit, including due to a Chick Kick for two.

A victory roll is quickly countered with a faceplant as Lawler says he’d always hook Trish’s leg. Steven tries to get involved and gets Victoria’s head shoved into his crotch. The Stratusphere takes Steven down but Victoria throws her around by the hair. Lawler freaks out over a shot of Trish’s chest but she avoids a slingshot legdrop. Richards crotches himself in the corner and Jazz short arms Trish on a tag attempt. A Sky High from Richards sets up the Widow’s Peak to give Victoria the pin.

Rating: D+. Was there really no one else they could put in this story other than Jazz? The fans like Victoria and Trish but my goodness they just died once Jazz came in. Oh and then she walked out on the match and fans still didn’t care. There are some wrestlers that fans just can’t get behind no matter what and Jazz is one of them.

Jeff Hardy runs out to save Trish and gets a kiss for his efforts.

Video on Shawn’s career at Wrestlemania, which is the biggest night of the year for him. This was around the time where he started being considered Mr. Wrestlemania.

Chris Jericho says he wanted to be Shawn Michaels but now he wants to end him.

Stacy tells Test that she’s found him a perfect tag partner and leaves. Test has Torrie Wilson’s Playboy and has to hide it from her. To recap, Test is dating Stacy Keibler and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him.

Test/Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Chris Jericho

Oh man it’s the start of THIS story. Test charges the ring to start and elbows Jericho in the face. Steiner gets in some shots on the floor but it’s quickly off to Christian, who eats a shoulder as well. We get the tag to Steiner, who somehow was in the World Title scene just a few weeks ago. The flexing elbow into push-ups gets two and it’s back to Test. Keeping Steiner out of the ring most of the time is a good thing for this match.

Jericho gets in a cheap shot from the apron, allowing Christian to hit a spinwheel kick on Test. That advantage goes nowhere as it’s already back to Steiner for Rick Steiner’s powerslam/backdrop on Christian. Scared to death of the idea of having to deal with Scott Steiner, Christian grabs the referee and kicks Scott low before bringing Chris back in. That earns the king of the world a belly to belly (that’s one) and another tag brings in Test.

Jericho quickly escapes a powerbomb and everything breaks down. The evil Canadians are sent into each other and Test’s pumphandle slam plants Jericho but Christian makes the save. Belly to belly #2 sends Jericho flying but this time the powerbomb connects with Christian breaking up another save. Christian goes after Stacy and Steiner makes the save, only to have Test get distracted, allowing Jericho to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t horrible but why is Jericho feuding with Test instead of Shawn Michaels, as in the guy he’s fighting at WRESTLEMANIA in two weeks? This was nothing special or even good for the most part with the majority of the match being spent on wasting time until we finally got to the point. As mentioned, Steiner has fallen a long way in just a few weeks and it’s not likely to get better anytime soon.

HHH vs. Goldust

Non-title of course. Booker and Flair are the seconds as WWE suddenly remembers that HHH and Booker are fighting soon. Feeling out process to start until Goldust hits him in the face for the first shot. More right hands from Goldust set up a right hand from HHH to take over as it’s pretty clear they’re not in the mood to try here. HHH sends the injured (from the electrocution) arm into the post a few times and we hit the armbar. Goldust starts fighting back but that’s too threatening to HHH’s legacy as a main event star so he plants Goldust with the spinebuster.

Something like a Boss Man Slam puts HHH down and Goldust gets two off a clothesline. Again HHH feels the power of insecurity and sends Goldust outside where Booker beats up Flair. The injured Randy Orton gets in a crutch shot from the crowd to knock Booker silly but Goldust hits the bulldog on HHH. The arm gives out before he can try Shattered Dreams and it’s jumping knee into the Pedigree to give HHH the soul redeeming pin.

Rating: D. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much better now that HHH has overcome career midcarder Goldust and his neurological issues. It was getting pretty dicey there and you could see HHH’s entire Hall of Fame career melting away every second he was down from a clothesline. I mean……HE WAS HAVING TO SELL SOMETHING! Oh and get used to seeing Booker down and out like that, because you know that’s what’s coming at Wrestlemania.

Bischoff is warming up when Rock comes in with his guitar to sing about beating up Hurricane. Rock is thinking about having a Rock Concert right here in St. Louis but there are too many ugly women in this town. Next week in Sacramento sounds a bit better. What doesn’t sound better is having a lumberjack match, because all those guys around the ring make Bischoff look bad.

Instead, make it No DQ and Rock will be there to have Bischoff’s back. So why set up the lumberjack match in the first place??? Just set up the No DQ and go with that. It’s like changing Smackdown matches today: just get it right in the first place and you won’t have to keep pulling these bait and switches.

Steve Austin vs. Eric Bischoff

No DQ and Morley is with Bischoff. Eric wisely runs away to start so Austin beats up Morley as a warm-up. A right hand puts Bischoff down and the mudhole is stomped. He puts Eric in a Boston crab of all things but Morley offers a distraction for the break. That’s not enough for the Chief as he comes in for a low blow but Austin easily beats them both up. Cue Rock for a Stunner on Austin but Bischoff can only get two. Rock comes back in to stomp on Austin but misses the Elbow. A clothesline sends Rock to the floor and Morley and Bischoff both get Stunners for the pin.

Rating: F. Yeah whatever. What else do you want me to say here? The only note: this was Austin’s last match on Raw to date and likely ever. That’s how Austin, the greatest superstar of this era, goes out: beating up Bischoff and Val Venis in a nothing match to set up a match at Wrestlemania. It kind of makes you think that you never know when you’ll never see these guys in the ring again.

Austin gets a Rock Bottom and Rock sips at a beer to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. How in the world was this leading up to one of the best Wrestlemanias of all time? These shows lately have been horrible and it’s like they have no idea what they’re doing going forward. Shawn vs. Jericho is barely getting any build other than the superkick last week and HHH is squashing everyone he can find while Booker is lucky to win a tag match. Nothing to see on this show and it’s becoming very clear why this show is so loathed among fans.

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