Three Thoughts of the Day

Maybe I should watch Raw while I’m barely awake more often.1. Boy That’s Convenient!

Last night on Raw, Brad Maddox made the Usos vs. Daniel Bryan and Bray Wyatt have a rematch inside of a cage.  Wasn’t it lucky that there just happened to be a cage above the ring?  Could you at least try to make it seem like this show isn’t completely scripted?

 

2. Nice and Easy.

With Shield’s breakup being imminent for the last three months or so, I’m very relieved to see that they’re not being jobbed out every single match.  That idea is so overused and it takes away any kind of shock you might see coming.  Thankfully Shield has only lost a handful of times and is still a powerful force.  Hopefully this means they change some of their played out ideas up a little bit.

 

3. Watch How It’s Done Junior.

If you’ve watched WWE in the last three weeks or so, you know that Batista is coming back next week and that he’ll be in the Rumble.  WWE has hyped up the return like they always do and I’m betting WWE will draw a crowd as a result.  Batista is a big star and people are likely going to be interested in watching him return.

Compare this to the return of AJ Styles.  Styles returned at the end of an episode of Impact and the next week he was in a world title unification match.  No additional hype, no time to make the fans feel like they had to see it and nowhere near as many additional fans watching the show as they could have had.  The rating was higher due to having a big match.  Imagine how much higher it could have been if more people had known they could have seen AJ return to the ring for a world title unification match.




Monday Night Raw – January 13, 2014: YES I Did Tell You So

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 13, 2014
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We’re only two weeks out from the Rumble though it feels like there are months to go. The field is still wide open and that’s usually a good sign, but the Rumble doesn’t feel like a big deal right now. Actually nothing does, as everything feels only big but not huge. Obviously that could change, but we’re still a long way off from Wrestlemania which is all that really matters. Let’s get to it.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos

It’s Bryan/Bray for once here and Bryan is extra aggressive tonight. Jey fights him off but Daniel takes him into the corner for the tag off to Wyatt who kicks away in the corner. Back to Bryan who rips at Jey’s face and drops a knee to the chest before it’s off to Bray for some evil sneering. Bray cannonballs down onto Jey’s chest and runs him over in the corner.

Daniel comes in again for the YES Kicks as the fans aren’t pleased with Bryan at all. Daniel puts on a chinlock but Jey fights up and enziguris him down, allowing for the hot tag to Jimmy. The Usos start cleaning house and send the Wyatts to the floor for the stereo dives. Back in and the other Family members run in for the DQ at 5:35.

Rating: C-. This was more about the story than the action and there’s nothing wrong with that. Daniel is still going to get something big out of this, perhaps even winning the Rumble, but tonight was a good way of using him in the stable. It advances the story, which is what you need right now.

Post match the Usos fight off the monsters and escape, leaving Daniel on the mat with Bray pacing back and forth. Daniel gets up and Bray whispers something to him, sending Bryan to his knees with his arms out. Bray gives him Sister Abigail and says that was for all of them. All four Wyatts leave together.

John Cena vs. Damien Sandow

Cena armdrags him down to start and cranks on an armbar as the announcers talk about how bad Sandow’s year ended. A hiptoss puts Sandow down again for two but he pops back up and takes over with some headbutts as we take a break. Back with Sandow working on the arm but missing a knee drop. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the AA is countered into an Edge-O-Matic for two.

Sandow’s neckbreaker is countered but Cena can’t get the STF. Damien kicks the knee out and puts on an Edgecator (Sharpshooter to start but Sandow doesn’t step over and pushes the legs forward instead of pulling). Cena is easily out and grabs a half nelson slam, only to spin around into a neckbreaker for two.

John goes up top and shoves Sandow away, only to catch him with a tornado DDT for two. Sandow counters the AA into a sunset flip for two more before spinning a neckbreaker into a DDT for another near fall. You’re Welcome is countered into the STF but Damien is quickly into the ropes. Sandow grabs a Crossface but Cena powers up into the AA for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: B-. Not as good as the MITB match due to the lack of drama but this was a very nice surprise. These two have chemistry in the ring but Sandow’s stock is so low that there’s almost no way to believe he’s going to beat Cena. Still though, much better than I expected it to be.

Video on the WWE Network. That’s going to be awesome.

Kane is looking at some papers when Brad Maddox comes in. Brad makes fun of Kane for letter the show fall apart already but Kane says Brad should be reenforcing the rules. Maddox makes Bryan/Bray vs. Usos in a cage for later. Kane says the door is chained and locked and he’ll have the key.

Big Show vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match we see Big Show throwing Lesnar around last week. Show throws Swagger around to start and headbutts him around the ring. A splash in the corner sets up a shoulder tackle to send Jack flying. The chokeslam ends the squash at 1:20. It’s so nice to have them mix up the jobbers every now and then.

Big Show chases Cesaro off and punches Zeb out because he’s not a nice guy.

New Age Outlaws/CM Punk vs. Shield

Rematch from Smackdown. Billy starts with Ambrose with Dean getting in some shots to the head to take over. Off to Rollins who is in long sleeves tonight and allows the tag to Road Dogg. Seth kicks him in the ribs and brings in Ambrose to rip at Dogg’s face a bit. Punk gets the tag and cleans house on Dean, including driving elbows into the head in the corner. Rollins comes in but has to fight out of a GTS, only to bring in Reigns to a noticeable pop.

Punk and Reigns slug it out with punk getting the better of it, only to be punched in the chest to give Roman control. Reigns is low bridged to the floor, allowing Punk to hit a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Rollins dropping Punk and tagging in Reigns, who heads to the floor for a dropkick to the side of Punk’s head as it hangs over the bottom rope. That’s INSANELY athletic. Ambrose puts on a chinlock and stops Punk’s comeback attempt before bringing Rollins back in.

Seth takes Punk into the corner for some knees to the ribs. Dean stays on those ribs with some stomps and throws Punk to the floor in a heap. Punk reverses a whip into the steps but Reigns throws Ambrose back in to cut off Punk’s chance. A springboarding Rollins can’t take Punk own but Reigns gets between Punk and the corner. CM is all good with that and high kicks Reigns down…..but the Outlaws drop to the floor, leaving Punk 3-1. The numbers game catches Punk about 30 seconds later as Reigns spears him down for the pin at 15:31.

Rating: C. This was again about the story and there’s nothing wrong with that. If I had to guess, that’s the start of Punk vs. HHH at Wrestlemania which is a match about two years overdue. It’s also likely a way to get the Outlaws out of the ring, which is the right idea. They’re a nostalgia act, meaning their shelf life is limited at best.

Punk gets TripleBombed post match.

Bray tells Bryan that they’ve been inside a cage their entire lives but tonight they find absolution. Bryan freaks out and says the same thing.

Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka

Before the match, NXT Diva Emma is shown in the crowd and identified by the announcers. That’s a good addition to the division if it happens. Cameron takes Tamina down with a headscissors to start but gets draped over the top rope for two. Off to AJ who gets two off a neckbreaker, skips around a bit, and ends her with the Shining Wizard at 2:52. Total squash and Naomi was never in.

Post match Naomi makes the save and sends AJ running.

Orton is looking for the Authority and finds Kane after the break. He raves about all the people coming after him because he’s the champion but Kane cuts him off. Orton can have Kofi tonight.

We get the first inductee into the Hall of Fame: the Ultimate Warrior.

Paul Heyman goes on a long rant about Big Show having his pituitary gland removed, leading to a massive case of stupidity. That’s the only way you can explain him going after Brock Lesnar. Heyman ensures us that Lesnar isn’t as easy to take out as Jack Swagger and he’ll prove that at the Rumble.

Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title. Orton is especially ticked off tonight and sends Kofi to the floor. A whip into the barricade gets two for the champ and he clotheslines Kofi down for no cover. Kofi is sent to the floor again but he manages to send Randy into the announce table a few times to get a breather. Back inside and Orton sends him face first into the middle buckle before superplexing Kingston down for two. Orton drops a knee to the face but Kofi comes back with strikes to the head to knock Orton outside. Kofi follows him to the floor and sends Orton face first into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Orton ramming Kofi into the announce table before taking him back inside for a chinlock. Kofi fights up but gets sent to the floor and into the steps for the third time tonight. Make it four as Orton is all insane again. A hard stomp to the side of the head gets two and we hit the chinlock again.

Orton shrugs off a comeback and walks around a lot more. Kofi gets a quick two off a backslide so Orton uppercuts him down for another chinlock. The hold is broken and Kofi avoids a knee drop. A dropkick sets up the Boom Drop but Orton rolls away and loads up the Elevated DDT….but Kofi counters into the SOS for the completely clean pin at 16:51.

Rating: D+. This was mind warping. First and foremost, WAY too long with the chinlocks and walking around. I get the idea of Orton letting Kofi hang in there and getting pinned, but there are far better ways to go about it than that. Then there’s the booking which is crazy enough if you think about it for more than three seconds. Orton is the new world champion, meaning he should not be getting pinned on Raw. It’s stuff like that which crippled the World Heavyweight Title and they don’t need to do it with the one title.

Post match Orton throws a fit and destroys a bunch of stuff before hitting John Cena’s dad in the front row. Security pulls him away and Cena comes out to tend to his Pop.

After the break Cena’s dad is taken out on a stretcher.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Non-title again. Axel hammers away on Goldust to start before the golden one comes back with an uppercut. Off to Ryback as the announcers mention his big Twitter rant over the weekend. Cody comes in with a not great moonsault press for two before it’s back to Goldust who has to deal with Axel making a blind tag. Curtis gets in a clothesline to the back of the head and it’s quickly back to Ryback for a chinlock. The announcers tell some far more entertaining inside jokes about Lawler in the AWA but unfortunately Cole gets back to the match.

Goldust comes back with a bulldog to put Ryback down and the hot tag brings in Cody. House is cleaned very slowly with Cody hitting a kick to the ribs and a missile dropkick to put Curtis down. The Disaster Kick staggers Ryback on the apron but Axel grabs a rollup for two. Axel’s neckbreaker is countered into Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:05.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t do it for me for some reason. Ryback’s Twitter rant looks like it’s going to be turned into a storyline which isn’t a bad idea at all. The match however didn’t work, possibly due to Cody and Goldust clearing out the division in just a few months. Not terrible but nothing to see here.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysteriou

Del Rio is still aggressive, driving Rey into the corner and slamming him down for two. Rey comes back with a headscissors but can’t hit the 619. Del Rio bails to the floor and gets caught by a seated senton off the pron. Back in and Rey kicks Alberto in the head for two, only to get caught with a Codebreaker to the arm.

An armbar doesn’t get Del Rio anywhere so he takes Rey down with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. The arm is wrapped around the ropes again but Del Rio’s chargs hits the post to give Rey a break. Alberto’s Alabama Slam is counterd into a headscissors and the 619 but Rey gets crotched on the top. The running enziguri sets up the armbreker to make Rey tap at 4:55.

Rating: D+. Again this didn’t have time to go anywhere but it wasn’t far above a squash. Del Rio’s psychology in the ring continues to be solid but his character is so boring that I just can’t care at all. He’ll still be a good first feud for Batista, even though he’s just a warmup for Big Dave.

Post match Del Rio says that was a preview for Batista.

Same Network video from earlier.

Punk complains to Kane about the Outlaws and enters the Rumble.

We get a very well edited clip of the Usos talking about their match, show “moments ago.”

Usos vs. Wyatt Family

Inside a cage with Kane holding the key to the door. It’s a brawl to start with the Usos being sent into the cage and choked a lot. Jey gets backdropped into the steel as the pace slows even more. Daniel tries to throw a charging Jimmy into the cage but Jimmy climbs up for an escape attempt. Bryan and Jimmy fight on top of the cage but Bray goes up as well to pull Jimmy backinside. Jey pulls Bray down to the mat and does the same to Bryan with a Russian legsweep as we take a break.

We’re quickly back with the Wyatts in control again until Jey slams Bray’s head into the cage a few times, setting up a Whisper in the Wind for two. A double belly to back superplex puts Daniel down but Bray is back into it. He blocks a superkick from Jey but takes too long setting up Sister Abigail, allowing Jimmy to superkick Bray for the save. The Wyatts make a double save to keep the Usos from escaping but the twins knock Bray and Daniel down. Jimmy dives on Rowan and Jey climbs down for the win at 11:15 for our second big upset of the night.

Rating: C-. It’s nice to see a new team win the match and we get more development in the Bryan storyline. Kane played no role in the match at all but he doesn’t have a connection to anyone in it at the moment. I’m an Usos fan so I have very few complaints here. Not the best match but still good enough.

Post match Bray smiles and Bryan drops to his knees, but this time he shoves Bray away from hitting Sister Abigail. Bray’s eyes get all freaky as Daniel is listening to the fans. Now Bray is looking nervous and offers to let Bryan have a free shot. Daniel isn’t sure what to do so Bray calls him a coward. Bray charges but misses in the corner and Daniel erupts on him with running dropkicks. There are the YES Kicks as Harper and Rowan can’t get past the locked door. Daniel rips off the coveralls and destroys Bray with everything he’s got. One of the loudest YES chants you’ll ever hear sets up the running knee to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The show had an energy that it’s been missing for way too long now. The Rumble is starting to take shape which has been missing until tonight. We have a personal reason for Cena and Orton to be fighting and people started talking about winning the Rumble. That’s all you can ask for about one of the last shows before the Rumble and Batista returning will make for a great go home show. As for Bryan, I told you two weeks ago that he wasn’t going to be a Wyatt long and would come out of this looking fine. Why you people don’t listen to me more often is beyond me.

Results

Usos b. Wyatt Family via DQ when Luke Harper and Erick Rowan interfered

John Cena b. Damien Sandow – Attitude Adjustent

Big Show b. Jack Swagger – Chokeslam

AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka b. Funkadactyls – Shining Wizard to Cameron

Kofi Kingston b. Randy Orton – SOS

Cody Rhodes/Goldust b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Cross Rhodes to Axel

Alberto Del Rio b. Rey Mysterio – Cross armbreaker

Usos b. Wyatt Family – Usos escaped the cage

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw – March 18, 2002: Behold The Beast

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 18, 2002
Location: Molson Center, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Attendance: 17,346
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Wrestlemania and there are two major developments. First and more importantly, Hulk Hogan turned face and helped the Rock when the Outsiders attacked him. Second, HHH won the world title by beating Chris Jericho, shocking no one at all. Tonight is all about fallout, but there’s something big looming next week. Let’s get to it.

I’ve already done the March 25 and April 1 shows and links can be found at the end.

Here’s Hogan to open the show to one of the most famous ovations ever. While it’s loud, it’s the length that makes it memorable. They’re on their feet, bowing down and chanting for Hogan. It’s already been going for a minute since he’s been in the ring. Hogan can’t even talk. Minute and a half straight. Hogan finally gets a word in after nearly two minutes of cheering, saying he loves the fans. He expected the match with Rock to be great and for Hall and Nash (pause for booing) to not interfere.

While he also expected to give Rock the beating of his life, he didn’t expect 70,000 people to be on their feet cheering for him. The fans start cheering for him again but Hogan says he has to thank the Rock. Hogan came back to the WWF to embarrass Rock but he couldn’t get rid of him. He didn’t believe it was possible, but Rock came back and beat him 1-2-3 in the middle of the ring. Hogan doesn’t know when, but there will be a rematch one day. This brings out Rock for the showdown.

Rock has the heel sneer on his face as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for. He lifts the mic up but the fans keep chanting for Hogan. Rock does the angriest FINALLY you’ll ever hear but gets cut off again. He finally gets to say Montreal before saying Hogan has FINALLY come back to the Hulkamaniacs.

We stretch the truth a bit by saying 70,000 people stood for 30 minutes straight (more like 68,000+ for about 17 minutes) to show their passion and for that, Rock thanks the people and Hogan. The challenge is accepted any time, any place and it would be Rock’s honor. It would be in this very building actually about ten and a half months later.

However, Rock does have one problem. Even though Hall and Nash turned on Hogan last night, Hogan is still wearing the NWO colors. Rock wants to know what Hogan thinks of that and there’s the shirt rip. Cue Hall and Nash to demand answers from Hogan. They were brought in to be a lethal injection by picking off one guy at a time, starting with Austin. The plan didn’t work though because Rock had to challenge Hogan at Wrestlemania.

That was fine, but Hogan just had to say yes. Hogan could have helped them beat Austin and then he could have fought Rock if he wanted to. Nash calls Hogan the NWO poison and rips him apart for siding with the fans. Rock makes fun of Nash for whining and challenges them to a tag match tonight. Hall grabs the mic and asks if Rock is sure so Rock goes into a HILARIOUS imitation of Hall, complete with the slumped shoulders and arm waving. Hogan says just bring it and the match is on. Nash asks if Hogan is going to choke like he did last night but Rock does Hogan’s catchphrase to close this 25 minute opening segment.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. Rob Van Dam

RVD is defending after winning the title last night. Christian pounds him into the corner to start but Rob comes back with a middle rope kick to the face. Rob charges into an elbow in the corner and gets draped ribs first across the top rope, sending him out to the floor. That goes nowhere so Rob brings him back inside for a spinwheel kick and a legsweep to set up Rolling Thunder for two. Christian gets in a forearm and goes to the floor to get the title belt, but Diamond Dallas Page won’t let him walk out. Van Dam kicks Christian’s leg out and the Five Star retains the title in a quick match.

Jericho arrives, beats up an overly enthusiastic backstge guy (who I believe was Sylvan Grenier), and leaves for the night.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Trish looks great as always. Lita goes right after her to start and the fight is on quickly. A clothesline puts the redhead down but she suplexes Trish down a few seconds later. Lita scores with a headscissors but Trish comes right back with a Chick Kick. Stratusfaction is shoved off and the moonsault gets Lita the pin in barely 90 seconds.

Post match Jazz comes out to go after Lita but Trish helps her out. Ivory comes out to help Jazz and the good girls are laid out.

Linda McMahon is in her office and makes a major announcement: next week there’s going to be a Brand Extension, meaning Raw and Smackdown will be split into two rosters. Next week there will be a Draft where the rosters will be split into Ric Flair’s Raw and Vince McMahon’s Smackdown. The WWF and Women’s Champion will split time between brands.

Here’s Vince to talk about the Draft a bit more, but first we get the YOU SCREWED BRET chants. He’s here to say goodbye to Raw and reminds the fans that he’s been nice to them over the years. Vince insists that they miss him and his speeches, but he’s not going to miss any of them. The fans will get Ric Flair, who isn’t bad but he’s no Vince McMahon. Flair doesn’t have the killer instinct or the ability to manipulate anymore. The fans sing the Goodbye Song but here’s Flair to interrupt.

Vince wants to know why Flair is out here after Undertaker beat him up last night at Wrestlemania. He enjoyed watching Undertaker beat Flair to a bloody pulp but there’s the song again to interrupt Vince. Flair says he’ll tell Vince what’s on his mind of McMahon will shut up. Yes, Raw is Vince’s baby but he used it to flaunt his wealth, drawing up a You Screwed Bret chant.

Vince used Raw to shove Stephanie down our throat week after week but that’s not going to happen anymore because Flair owns Raw. Vince goes to leave but the song brings him back inside. He offers and wins a coin toss for the first pick, which Vince says is the way things will always be. Flair stares him down so Vince decks him, only to have Ric put him in the Figure Four.

Booker T/Kurt Angle vs. Edge/Kane

Take two matches from Wrestlemania and throw them into a tag match. Kane pulls Booker into the ring to start and puts him down with a side slam. The top rope clothesline gets two with Angle making the save and a double suplex puts the monster down. Booker misses the ax kick and Kane tags in Edge to speed things up. Angle tries to run the corner to suplex Edge down but the Canadian holds onto the top and gets two off a missile dropkick.

The Edge-O-Matic is countered into the ankle lock but Kane breaks it up with a chokeslam. Booker sends Kane to the floor and Edge tried the Edgecution but Angle counters into an Angle Slam attempt. Booker accidentally kicks his partner in the face and Edge spears Angle for two. Kane sends Booker into the steps and Edge counters the German suplex into a rollup for two. The Edgecution follows a few seconds later for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was one of the most entertaining four minute matches I can remember in a LONG time. They basically did the hot ending without any build but that’s often the best part of a match. I’d love to see these four have a fifteen minute version of this but for what we got, this rocked.

Hardcore Title: Maven vs. Al Snow

Maven is defending after about 10 title changes the night before and Snow was his trainer on Tough Enough. Snow jumps him at ringside but gets sent into the barricade to give the champion a breather. They head inside with the weapons as Snow blasts Maven in the head with trashcan lids. Cue Spike Dudley with a stop sign to knock Snow out, but a monster can be seen jumping the barricade. He hits one of the biggest spinebusters you’ll ever see on Snow, slams Maven down with ease and triple powerbombs Spike in half. The monster’s name: Brock Lesnar.

JR and Lawler complain that Paul Heyman was with Lesnar.

We recap the opening segment because fans can’t remember something that happened an hour and fifteen minutes ago. By recap, I mean air about four minutes of it.

Matt and Lita are making out in the back when William Regal comes up to say that’s disgusting. Matt says don’t get mad because you’re not getting any. Lita: “OH TAG!” Regal has no idea what to make of that (neither do I) and says the two of them might be split up by the Draft. He throws in a ta-ta because he’s a snooty Englishman.

Tag Titles: Dudley Boys vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are defending and the Dudleys have Stacy in her Dudley attire, still the hottest I ever saw her look. It’s a brawl to start until D-Von and Chuck clothesline each other down. A double tag brings in Bubba and Billy with the future Bully cleaning house. What’s Up keeps Billy in trouble as everything breaks down. Stacy gets up on the apron and shakes a bit to distract Billy but there’s no effect, so she hits Billy with a title belt for the DQ.

The Dudleys are rightly furious and put Stacy through a table. They were heels coming in, so is that a face turn for Keibler?

Here’s HHH for his big new champion speech and JR immediately calls it an honor to hear from him. The entrance takes forever and HHH still has both belts. HHH talks about being injured for a long time before coming back with his quad hanging on by a thread. He defeated Chris Jericho to become Undisputed Champion and has to stop to soak in some chants. He’s a happy man right now and wants to share it with us by showing a clip of him Pedigreeing Stephanie.

This brings out the wife wearing a neck brace. She promises to get rid of the smile on HHH’s face because Jericho wants his rematch next week on Raw. HHH thinks we should up the ante: a handicap match with Jericho and Stephanie against him, but if he wins then Stephanie is gone. That’s an interesting idea since she only lost a match to get thrown out of the company four months earlier.

HHH won’t grant the rematch without that stipulation so Stephanie reluctantly agrees after whining for five minutes. The fans sing the Goodbye Song at her as well, because this whole segment is about HHH vs. Stephanie and Jericho is just there on the side. That’s why the Jericho vs. HHH match at Wrestlemania was such a disappointment. Everyone knew Jericho was just there and the real feud was between HHH and Stephanie.

The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. Outsiders

Hogan’s entrance is already going when we get back from a break and the Outsiders are in the ring. Good to know that’s not important enough to make Stephanie quit whining. The brawl is on quick until we start with Hogan vs. Hall. Hulk hits his punches in the corner and rakes the back before Hall gets caught between the right hands from the superheroes. Off to Rock for the spinebuster but Nash breaks up the People’s Elbow.

Nash comes in legally with the side slam before ramming knees in the corner. Hall comes back in and stops Rock’s comeback with the fallaway slam for two. The Outsiders take turns stomping on Rock but Rock escapes Nash’s Snake Eyes and hits the Rock Bottom for no cover. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as everything breaks down. Hogan drops the leg despite coming from the wrong direction but Hall rolls to the floor for the countout.

Rating: D+. This was energetic while it lasted but they didn’t have time to go anywhere. Also there was no way this was going to be about the wrestling and there’s nothing wrong with that on a show like this. It was entertaining and a fun match to see happen and that’s all you need sometimes.

Overall Rating: C+. The night after Wrestlemania is always a different kind of show and that’s what it should be. With the Draft coming up in a week there was no point in doing anything substantial tonight so everything was about the fallout. Still though, it was entertaining enough and a fresh start after a very boring winter.

Here’s the March 25 show if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/10/11/monday-night-raw-march-25-2002-first-wwe-draft/

Here’s the April 1 show if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/09/09/monday-night-raw-april-1-2002-only-an-april-fool-would-like-this-show/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of In Your House at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:




WWE Network Officially Announced, Also Known As THE BEST THING EVER

It launches next month in America, later elsewhere.  Here are all the details thanks to 411mania.com.
– WWE has officially announced the launch of the WWE Network. The 24/7 streaming service will launch in the US on February 24th and will cost $9.99 per month with a six month commitment. The network will include all twelve WWE PPVs live (including WrestleMania) and original programming, reality shows, documentaries, classic matches and more than 1,500 hours of video on demand at launch.”Today is a historic day for WWE as we transform and reimagine how we deliver our premium live content and 24/7 programming directly to our fans around the world,” said Vince McMahon. “WWE Network will provide transformative growth for our company and unprecedented value for our fans.”The network will be available for subscriptions starting on February 24th at 9 AM on WWE.com and will include a one-week trial for a limited time. The network will be available via over-the-top digital distribution and will be available on the following:* Desktops and laptops via WWE.com
* The WWE App on Amazon’s Kindle Fire devices, Android devices such as Samsung Galaxy, iOS devices such as Apple iPad and iPhone, Roku streaming devices, Sony PlayStation® 3 and Sony PlayStation® 4 and Xbox 360.

Availability on additional devices, including Xbox One and select Smart TVs, will follow this summer.

The network will also offer fans a revolutionary second screen experience for all original programming and live events via the WWE App, similar to the interactive fan experience currently available for flagship TV programs Raw and SmackDown. It will launch in the UK, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, Hong Kong and the Nordics by the end of 2014/early 2015.

At launch, all of the following will be available:

* All 12 current WWE pay-per-view events – including WrestleMania – will be available to subscribers live, as well as on demand.
* Live pay-per-view 30 minute pre- and post-shows.
* Raw and Smackdown preshows: Every Monday and Friday night, WWE Network will air 30 minute pre- and post-shows for WWE’s weekly cable programs Monday Night Raw and Friday Night SmackDown.
* The Monday Night War – a series exploring the shocking real-life stories that fueled the mid-90s rivalry between WWE and WCW®. Battling for ratings dominance, WWE’s Vince McMahon and WCW’s Ted Turner engaged in a masterful game of one-upmanship, and in the process, elevated WWE Monday Night Raw and WCW Monday Nitro to all-new levels of pop-culture relevance.
* WrestleMania Rewind – a comprehensive look back at the most groundbreaking matches and dramatic moments in WrestleMania history, including never-before-seen footage and in-depth interviews.
* WWE Countdown – a one hour, groundbreaking, interactive, countdown series that puts the power squarely in viewers’ hands by giving the audience the chance to discuss and rank WWE’s most spectacular Superstars, unexpected moments, best catch phrases and more through digital polling and social media interaction.
* WWE NXT® – WWE Superstars and Divas of tomorrow face off every week on WWE NXT, a one-hour weekly show that features the brightest and best of WWE’s rising stars. WWE NXT showcases the Superstars and Divas from WWE’s Performance Center as well as appearances from WWE Superstars and Legends in an intimate setting. WWE NXT broadcasts from the state-of-the-art Full Sail LIVE venue on the Full Sail University in campus in Orlando, Florida.
* WWE Superstars – a one-hour weekly show highlighting the best of WWE Superstars and Divas in heart-pounding matches. Features highlights from all WWE programming, as well as a special glimpse at everything going on in the WWE Universe.

Coming in April:

* WWE Legends House – WWE’s greatest Legends reunite for a new title – only this time, they’re competing outside of the ring. Imagine a beautiful house in the suburbs – perfectly furnished, with gorgeous landscaping, a lovely pool and quiet, respectable neighbors. WWE Superstars from the past including Rowdy Roddy Piper, Tony Atlas and Hacksaw Jim Duggan will turn the neighborhood upside down as the house staff tries their best to keep these Legends on time, on speaking terms, and out of trouble in this new reality show.

Video On Demand

* WWE Network will offer all WWE, WCW and ECW pay-per-views as well as classic matches uncut and uncensored, encores of Raw, SmackDown and WWE Main Event totaling more than 1,500 hours of video on demand at launch.
* All episodes of original programming on WWE Network will be available on demand immediately after they premiere, allowing viewers to watch on their schedule.




Jerry Lawler Hospitalized and Released Before Raw, Not Calling Show

Apparently he was experiencing chest pains and vomiting.  He has since been released but doesn’t look like he’ll be doing Raw tonight.  Reports indicate that this wasn’t as bad as it sounded.




On This Day: December 31, 2001 – Monday Night Raw: Closing Out The Year In Style

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 31, 2001
Hosts: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

There’s not much to say here because it’s a Best Of Show. I don’t know if this includes matches from Smackdown or not, but to the best of my knowledge there’s nothing new on here. Therefore I’ll be cutting and pasting anything from Raw and redoing anything from Smackdown, so don’t stop reading now and go on to the full thing. I’ll wait here while you do it. Let’s get to it.

Michael and Jerry are in an empty arena and complains about being here with Lawler. I think this is a three hours special.

It’s a top ten as selected by the fans. The matches on the show are clipped but I’ll be posting the full versions of them. I won’t be including backstories but check out the full reviews of the shows if you need them. Odds are you won’t though. In case you’re incredibly dense, all shows listed are the 2001 versions.

#10: Royal Rumble – IntercontinentalTitle: ChrisBenoitvs. ChrisJericho

I’ve always loved the prove me wrong line that Benoit had. It was perfect for him as it was short and sweet and correct. That’s all you need a lot of the time. Jericho has a bad shoulder here too to offer some psychology to the match. It helps here as your arms can help you climb a ladder so if nothing else it fits the flow of the match here which can often be the most important part of the match.

They bring the ladder in and somehow we get even more physical than we already were in this match. This was some of Jericho’s best in ring stuff around this time as he was clearly having a blast. See, the difference between WCW and WWF is that here, Benoit and Jericho are likely going to steal the show. They did it in WCW as well but there they would likely just do the same thing again until they jobbed to a 42 year old that didn’t need a push at all.

Here, Benoit would be a workhorse that got all kinds of praise and big matches while in less than a year Jericho would be world champion. Ah here we go. It’s ladder and other weapons time. After some stiff shots in the ring, Jericho goes to the floor and grabs a chair. Benoit launches a suicide dive at him but goes straight into the chair in a great looking spot. And see, Jericho SELLS THE SHOULDER. How hard is that for people to learn?

This turns into a game of top this as they come up with more and more ridiculous ways to hurt each other with the ladder. One of them is Benoit being tied into the ladder on the second rope and Jericho hooking a side Russian legsweep on him, bringing the ladder down with them. There’s stuff in here straight out of a Wile E. Coyote cartoon.

Benoit gives Jericho a belly to back suplex over the top rope. That’s cool looking if nothing else. Climbing back in, we have a fight up on the top of the ladder, which leads to the spot of the match. Jericho knocks Benoit backwards, and puts THE WALLS OF JERICHO on him on top of the ladder. To say this looks both incredible and painful is a total understatement. That just got this match a much higher grade.

Benoit goes off the ladder but has the energy to kick it over to save the title. This is great stuff here. Back on the mat, Jericho gets caught in the crossface and taps, but obviously this means nothing. There’s at least some psychology here as Benoit already has Jericho’s shoulder hurt so he works on it. That’s at least smart. Since there’s nothing else to do, Benoit is picked up and just thrown into the ladder.

Why not? Sometimes the best solution is just to beat the other person up with the ladder. It’s working here if nothing else. In yet another great visual, we go to the top for a suplex but Jericho is shoved off. Benoit goes for the swan dive, and the whole crowd just rises to their feet to watch in amazement at what they’re seeing. That’s how you know you’re doing a great job: the crowd responds to you.

We finally get one of the first dead spots of the match which is perfectly acceptable in this case as they’re half dead. This lasts all of four seconds though as Jericho comes back in with a chair and just wears out Benoit with it while he’s standing on the ladder. Benoit gets pushed off and bounces off the ropes, then the apron and then the floor, which is enough for Jericho to get the belt. DANG that was painful looking. The highlight package of this match doesn’t do it justice.

Rating: A. This was a freaking brutal fight. They beat the living crap out of each other here and are going to be hard to top. For some reason this match isn’t really remembered, and that was the case even before Benoit was deleted from history. These guys went at it like no other and beat the living tar out of each other. Go find a copy of this as it’s definitely worth it. Great brawling match with tons of brutal spots.

There’s some banter between Jerry and Cole during the spaces in between but it’s just filler talk so I won’t be mentioning it here.

#9: Wrestlemania – Undertakervs. HHH

Back then, HHH was a bigger star than he is now. He beat Austin, the king of the world, twice in one night the previous month. Taker was about 8 months into his biker gimmick and was a step behind what he used to be at though. However, this was his hometown and it’s Wrestlemania, although this is before the Streak became important.

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring and it is freaking awesome. They play the verse and chorus all the way through before we cut to a long shot of the arena and we see Triple H, Start Game flash on the screen, then a small object appears beneath it. Cut to a shot of HHH and then back to the arena. My goodness these stadiums are awesome. The live band is always cool as they play him through the long walk down the aisle.

 

HHH does a double water spit so you know this is an important show. The song ends and HHH paces back and forth. We hear gong strikes, and the lights go out. DEAD MAN WALKING. Instead of walking down the huge ramp, Taker drives his bike down instead in another famous shot. The cool thing here is it’s long enough that he can crank it up and gets the bike flying down the aisle. Taker jumps in the ring, rips the shirt off and we’re on.

Just as Taker is about to start the fight, JR mentions that he is 8-0, undefeated at Wrestlemania. Ladies and Gentlemen, the streak is born. That’s the first time that it’s mentioned on WWF television to my knowledge, but certainly the first time at Wrestlemania. The fight starts on the floor with Taker hammering away. Guess what Taker knocks HHH through. Go on, I want you to guess. It rhymes with French announce table. You guessed it. Twice in one night has to be a record.

 

They slug it out in the ring and the knee to the face gets HHH nowhere. BIG back drop puts HHH down. Powerslam gets two and a big clothesline takes down HHH. Old School is countered. Not sure how HHH knew it was coming. Might be that Taker shouted out OLD SCHOOL right before he went for it. Just a hunch mind you. The Game hammers away on Taker including a trio of elbows. That and a neckbreaker gets three straight two counts.

 

HHH goes after the ref and gets shoved back which gets a huge pop. My goodness this crowd is white hot. Six minutes in and HHH gets the sledgehammer. Referee takes it from him so HHH tries a Pedigree which is blocked into a catapult and the referee goes down. Chokeslam gets two because the referee was slow thanks to him getting bumped.

 

Taker, being the ticked off man that he is, beats the referee up because of this. The throw that Taker sends HHH to the floor with is either great selling or a real throw. We go into the crowd and actually wind up at the production tower which has been seen maybe twice in company history. This is what the cameras sit on in the arena and where the sound is adjusted etc. Quite simply if they screw up here, the PPV goes off the air.

HHH now has a problem. He’s trying to run from Taker, but the only way to run is to keep climbing the tower. HHH finds a chair up there though and lands about 10 sick chair shots to Taker. They’re in a tiny place so Taker is laid out and HHH just hits him wherever he can with the chair. Great visual on that. Taker gets up and catches HHH after the Game poses. The flashbulbs are going so crazy it’s hard to see them for a little bit.

 

He then chokeslams him off the tower. Now think about why this is cool. No one has ever seen them fight here before so it’s unknown. There’s no referee as Taker beat him up. Most importantly, we don’t see HHH land. What did he land on? That’s what makes this cool: the total mystery of it. Sadly, we see he landed on a big pad, but it still must have knocked him out a bit. If not, the elbow Taker drops on him does. What’s a good American Tough Guy to do now? He beats up the EMTs of course.

They fight back to the ring and the referee is still down. What the heck? He got kicked and elbowed, not shot in the forehead. Taker gets the hammer and a low blow to make him drop it a few seconds later. Heyman talking about how dangerous weapons are is either a rib by him or the best unintentional comedy I’ve heard in a long time. HHH gets a tombstone countered because he’s not the Undertaker, and Taker breaks out the Tombstone for maybe the first or second time in a year plus.

 

The crowd loves it, but still there’s no referee. In a sweet finish, Taker goes for the Last Ride but HHH picks up the hammer and nails him in the head with it. That somehow only gets two. Taker is bleeding and HHH sends him to the corner to rain down right hands. He pauses for a split second to yell at the crowd, and Taker reaches up and grabs him before stepping forward, lifting him into the air and drilling him with the Last Ride! He gets the pin as the crowd explodes.

Rating: A+. This is an outstanding match and would have main evented any other show of the year. The story was great, the fighting was off the charts, and you never knew who was going to win until the very end. Excellent job from both guys involved and probably the true forgotten classic in Wrestlemania history.

These are heavily clipped as the previous match ran about 20 minutes live and was less than ten here.

Flair wishes us a happy new year and gives us the top five shock moments of the new year:

5. ECW returns and joins with WCW to form the Alliance with Stephanie as co-owner. That’s still one of my favorite moments ever, partially because of how great Stephanie looked in that pink dress.

4. Booker T cost Austin the Undisputed Title match at Vengeance.

3. Drew Carey in the Rumble.

2. Undertaker turns heel and destroys JR, making him kiss Vince.

1. Ric Flair is the new co-owner.

No Shane as WCW owner? I’m sorry but no. This list is officially a failure.

Back to the the countdown.

#8: King of the Ring – ShaneMcMahonvs. KurtAngle

It should be noted that this is one of my favorite matches ever so I’ll be biased in it. Wait, they’re my reviews so I’m biased towards myself, so it’s fine. Angle throws his medals down on the way to the ring so you know this is serious. Again, JR says that after I typed it so I win again. Angle is just beating the tar out of Shane to start here. And just as I say that Shane starts throwing lefts and fights back.

With Shane on the floor, Angle gets on all fours and wants to go amateur, which is more popular that pro in certain areas other than wrestling. Naturally Angle easily gets out and beats on Shane even more. In a nice looking move, Angle hits a gutwrench but it’s overhead instead of to the side. It looked cool. Angle is just throwing Shane everywhere. It looks like a squash but don’t worry. It’ll get better. Shane has had three punches and an armdrag.

He offers Shane another amateur attempt but this time Shane just punts him in the ribs. That’s followed by a jumping back elbow making him awesome. On the floor now, Shane gets on the railing behind JR and Heyman and jumps over both them and the table to hit Kurt with a clothesline in a sweet spot. The guy was athletic and no one can ever argue that.

It’s certainly more entertaining than seeing Vince out there making a fool out of himself. And we have a kendo stick which Shane can swing really well. He actually breaks it over Angle’s back which has to feel awful. Shane uses armdrags on the floor to send Angle into the railing which is a nice spot. Shane goes for a cover and Angle bridges out of it. Think of the Matrix move.

Shane does the smart thing and just hits him in the stomach. Angle does this three times, showing off his stupidity. It’s weapons time now and Shane is dominating. Ankle lock by Shane and Kurt just kicks him in the face. Nothing wrong with that. We get a Sharpshooter attempt and Shane botches it but gets it eventually. It looks bad but it’s ok I guess. Granted almost no one gets it right so it’s fine.

Shane is just beating the heck out of Angle here. He puts a trash can on his stomach and goes to the top for a shooting star press which misses but looked solid. The fans get a hokey smoke chant going as they’re impressed here. We hit the floor again and Shane hits a suplex, which breaks Kurt’s tailbone. He’s legit hurt which makes the rest of the match even more impressive. His solution to Shane fighting back: slam Shane’s head into a wall. I like the simple ideas.

 

In the sickest bump you’ll see in years, Angle suplexes Shane over his head into one of the glass walls with KOR (what, no love for the?) on them. The problem is that it doesn’t break and Shane lands on his head which goes THUD. It sounded and looked SICK. Shane is more or less out of it.

Angle, ticked off that it didn’t work, picks him up and does it AGAIN, this time having it work, drawing another holy crap chant. Angle’s arm is bleeding. We’re under the stage now and Angle suplexes him again and AGAIN it doesn’t break. Shane is busted. Angle goes for another suplex and it doesn’t break. In essence, Shane is being thrown into a wall. Kurt is ticked and just picks him up and launches him through a glass wall.

Shane looks like he’s been beaten by an army and raped by a bear while being run over by a train. Angle is spent too. Everyone is just bleeding awfully. Angle gets an anvil case and puts Shane on it to wheel him back to the ring. That’s a good idea as he’s just dead weight at this point. We’re back in the ring and Angle covers Shane. For two. The place pops like a freaking teenage girl for that. We get a replay where we can see Kurt’s face and he looks like he wants to cry.

A low blow connects and Shane isn’t dead yet. He gets a trash can lid and just pops the heck out of Angle and hits an Olympic Slam for two. Both guys are just freaking spent. Shane gets catapulted into the corner where he just kind of collapses. Angle gets a board from somewhere and just beats Shane about the back and shoulder with it. There’s something awesome about that.

He sets it up on the copes and climbs to the top where he this the Olympic Slam from the top rope. I would say Shane lands in the middle of the ring with a thud, but as they said in Con Air, “the word ain’t land. It’s crash.” They show a bunch a replays and the slam looks cooler and cooler ever time. I mean Shane just explodes on the mat and it looks amazing. Shane’s best match ever by about 1000 miles. They carry him out and he’s just gone. The Slam off the top got the pin if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: A. This was just freaking brutal. It’s a great street fight where you never really believed Shane was completely out of it. That’s a great thing to be able to say, but Shane took the best beating I can recall anyone taking in a long time. Find a copy of this match as it’s right up there with any beating I’ve ever seen.

We get a video from the 9/11 show, with Lillian singing the Star Spangled Banner. They don’t show the whole song. Seriously? You clipped the national anthem two days after September 11? REALLY? Lillian hitting the high notes on this still gives me chills. That’s pretty awesome.

#7: Monday Night Raw – May 21, 2001 – Tag Titles: Steve Austin/HHH vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho

 

Here we go. Austin vs. Jericho gets us going and one of the belts is laying in the ring. Austin takes over with pounding boots but Jericho snaps off a cross body for two. A top rope elbow to the head scores for Jericho and he works on Austin’s arm. HHH comes in and the Canadians take over. Benoit chops Austin HARD and then hits a snap suplex for no cover. There’s a superplex for two as HHH saves.

 

Jericho comes in to even things out but it lets the champions take over. Benoit is like screw that and pounds them back, hooking the Crossface on Austin. HHH comes in with a big chair shot to break it up but Benoit kicks out to a big pop. Benoit goes into the steps for no count as he kicks out before the one. Austin pounds away on him and it’s off to HHH who hooks a cheating abdominal stretch.

 

Make that a sleeper as Benoit is in big trouble. Benoit manages to fire off a suplex to put both guys down and an enziguri is good enough for the hot tag to Jericho….but the referee doesn’t see it. The fans don’t like that at all. Jericho goes off with Austin on the floor as HHH hits the Pedigree. There’s no referee though so Jericho goes up and takes HHH’s head off with a missile dropkick.

 

There’s your hot tag to Jericho and he takes on the now legal Austin and HHH at the same time. Thesz Press is countered into a spinebuster and then the Walls but HHH makes the save. That right there, that save, resulted in HHH tearing his quad off the bone and would put him out of action until January of 2002. You could see HHH’s leg just stop moving. His leg is dead weight now.

 

HHH is like screw this potentially career ending injury and goes to set up the announce table. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Jericho counters into the Walls on the table, and remember that HHH has a torn muscle. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Benoit hits the swan dive on Austin but there’s no referee. Stunner to Benoit gets two as Jericho pulls the referee out. Lionsault gets knees and HHH finds the sledgehammer from somewhere. The second Lionsault hits but the hammer hits Austin and Jericho gets the pin and the titles as the place erupts!

 

Rating: A+. WOW this match holds up really well. After Jericho gets that hot tag, this is full speed ahead the rest of the way. The energy in this is great as they did everything they could to keep the Canadians down but in the end, HHH messes up to end it. Notice one very important thing here: Jericho had Austin (presumably) beat with the Lionsault, so it’s not like they got dominated the entire time and won on a mistake by the other team. That’s huge and it makes Benoit/Jericho look far stronger as the new champions.

We’re four matches in and the lowest rating is an A. That’s insane and we’ve got a bunch of great matches to go.

Rikishi gives us the top five kisses of the year.

5. Regal kisses Vince to open Vince’s club.

4. Lita kisses Matt.

3. Rock makes Vince kiss Rikishi to “close” Vince’s club.

2. Rock kisses Trish. That looked like something from Hollywood and of course it went nowhere.

1. Angle gets his gold medals back out of Benoit’s tights and he kisses him. Angle is always great at comedy.

We get a look at things that are in movies that the WWF also has with a highlight package of each. We get music, romance, betrayal, revenge, toilet humor and old-fashioned fun which is pretty much a bunch of “funny” moments. This runs about five minutes in total and is actually pretty funny. There’s WAY too much stuff in it to list though.

We get a quick look back at Tough Enough with Maven and Nidia winning. If you don’t remember them, that shouldn’t surprise you at all. I did really like the theme song though. One of the male runners up is more famous as Josh Matthews.

#6: No Mercy – Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler

This is a lingerie match which means they wrestle in it. Let’s get this over with. I can’t stand these kind of matches. I mean, the girls look great but when I can see them in even less for free on the internet, what’s the point? Stacy has a riding crop or something and spanks Torrie and the referee. They “wrestle” for a bit and exchange a bunch of rollups. Torrie wins with a handspring elbow. This was worthless.

Ok so not everything was great. The girls looked hot though.

We get a video of Rock returning to the WWF and Rock Bottoming both Vince and Shane before joining the WWF.

#5: Survivor Series – TeamAlliancevs. TeamWWF

After literally ten minutes of introductions, we’re ready to go. Stephanie dancing to Booker’s music was either funny, hot, or just plain sad. I can’t decide. Immediately it’s Rock vs. Austin, which makes sense I suppose as they’re the real core of this feud. Before you get any other ideas, this isn’t WWF vs. Alliance. It’s a WWF angle, plain and simple. Both guys hit the Thesz Press and the F U elbow with Shane saving Austin despite him not particularly needing it.

Booker vs. Rock follows as we redo Summerslam from this year. Booker was the WCW Rock, complete with the catchphrase to open his song, the People’s Champion mantra, and the finishing move. And that is reason 384 why WCW failed. I need to make a list of that someday. Shane saves Booker this time, so at least that makes sense. WCW violence erupts as Jericho beats up Booker for a bit.

Ross and Heyman argue over who put ECW out of business which is amusing, mainly because according to storyline purposes it’s still in business but whatever. RVD gets a pop and a half. Jericho and Van Dam have a good little match here, as Jericho is wrestling his light weight style which is where I always thought he was best. Today he tends to use the heavyweight style which just doesn’t work that well for me. Jericho hooks the Walls on a counter and Heyman is PANICKING.

Shane of course makes the save though. After a double tag it’s Kane vs. Angle which is an interesting match to say the least. Angle was in between stages in his career here as he’s somewhere between All American good boy and rampaging psycho that knows more ways to hurt people that should be legal. He had recently made Kane tap and Angle Slammed Big Show, so obviously he was on a role at the moment.

Also, this was just after he and Austin had finished an awesome feud with Angle hitting levels of intensity in promo cutting that I didn’t know existed. Those two beat the living tar out of each other, throwing each other all over the place with suplex after suplex in something that was just plain awesome. And because this is pro wrestling they’re friends a month later. Just as I say this, Angle gets a sweet German on Kane. Shane saves Angle as that’s number four.

Now we’re up to Taker and Angle, which is nothing short of a classic most of the time except for when it’s not. Taker hits a sweet kick to Booker’s head to take him down, and of course Shane makes the save again. It makes sense if nothing else though, as he’s the guy with everything to lose. Taker goes for Old School as evidenced by shouting OLD SCHOOL! I really don’t get the point of him doing that. It’s not like he used a wristlock that often.

After Shane makes another save to save us from Booker and Taker’s slow section, Austin comes in. The fans are still way into him, which goes to show how popular he was. Austin vs. Taker really was an epic rivalry. It’s kind of reminiscent of Hogan and Andre when you think about it. You have the big vocal face of the company vs. the guy that’s great but stays in the background most of the time. It’s a simple story but it goes in depth once you look into it a bit.

After the second Old School in about three minutes, Shane…oh screw it you know what he does by now. Taker just starts punching the heck out of Angle which never gets old. Heyman finally does what everyone has wanted to do for years and asks JR what the deal is with his obsession with taking men to the woodshed. Ross has nothing to say as Big Show comes in for the first time, rocking that one piece swimsuit he used to wear.

Naturally he lasts about a minute as an Angle Slam, axe kick, 5 Star and a Shane elbow drop end him to make it 5-4. Can the forces of evil really overcome the forces of good? Dang if I know as there’s at least half an hour left in this match. In a funny moment after the pin, Shane is dancing around celebrating as Rock is waiting on him. The Alliance guys point it out to him and he slowly stops dancing before turning around and looking scared. That was great.

Rock’s punches seem to miss by about a mile to me, but maybe I’m missing something. After a Kane chokeslem, a Taker tombstone and a Lionsault, we’re tied up. Heyman as usual is priceless during this. Angle comes in now as we need a spatula for Shane. I love how Heyman is freaking despite the fact that Shane got the same treatment that Show got earlier. Also I love how he complains about how stupid Show is, despite him taking Show in as the ECW Champion in about five years.

It’s Angle vs. Jericho now in another match that has a natural rivalry that I’ll never get tired of watching. I’ve come to the conclusion that Booker is just flat out boring. He’s been in there about three times now and he’s just killed the momentum every single time. He’s slow and boring, which is a bad combination to consist of.

Ross points out the same thing I noticed earlier about how the WWF is mainly power, which makes sense as most of the Alliance guys are finesse or technical guys, which is either a very subtle and nice touch, or a complete coincidence. The WWF team beats up RVD, prompting Heyman to say he believes they’re trying to isolate him. Well thank you very much for that. I never would have noticed.

Booker and RVD are in at the same time with Kane, who naturally gets no help from his partners because, you know, that would be helpful. Van Dam had pinned Kane and Taker this past week, so he’s hot right now which is kind of a joke considering Kane is in there, but it wasn’t that funny. I need to work on my comedy more I think.

The Five Star (which is still the most amazing live move I’ve ever seen) hits but Kane grabs Van Dam by the throat, leading to Booker running in, which leads to the massive brawl that you knew was coming. During the fracas, Van Dam hits a kick from the top to eliminate Kane. In a cool moment, Taker has one member of the Alliance in each of the corners and keeps them there by running back and forth, clotheslining them all in order.

He does about eight clotheslines in a row before knocking Booker to the floor. Angle takes a Last Ride but Booker comes in with a chair. Taker knocks him down but walks into the Stunner. Angle is dragged over and despite not being legal, gets the pin. That takes us down to Rock and Jericho vs. Austin, Booker, RVD and Angle. Dang that’s a lot of gold between six guys. Booker kicks/knees the heck out of Rock.

Rock hits a DDT and covers Booker but it doesn’t work, which it shouldn’t have any way as Booker’s shoulder was about right inches off the mat. Booker is thrown into Angle, allowing him to be rolled up to make it 3-2. I like that actually, as it’s not something stupid and it actually makes sense for Booker to go out that way.

Rock hooks a cool move on Van Dam as RVD’s back was to the Great One and Rock more or less powerbombs him down, but does it with one arm so it’s like a roll up from the top which gets two. Jericho is finally back in and they nearly botch a spot, but Jericho makes a last second save to turn it into a swinging neckbreaker. That was nice. In a sequence that’s just flat out awesome due to what it means now.

Jericho avoids a split legged moonsault and hits the Breakdown for the pin on Van Dam, which looked awful because Van Dam dropped to a knee so the move got ZERO reaction. The reason it’s cool is Van Dam missed what is now Morrison’s finisher to get caught in Miz’s finisher. That’s awesome and one of the biggest reasons I love watching old wrestling. You get to see stuff like that which wouldn’t have meant a thing eight years ago but now is kind of cool, or at least it is to me.

Who would have guessed it would come down to the four guys that have been fighting on both sides? We have two fights going on at once, with Austin hitting a slingshot on Rock, who of course oversells by more or less throwing a flying headbutt into the post. Heyman says they can find a spot for Rock if nothing else for his t-shirt sales.

We move to Austin vs. Jericho which is a feud that could have been great but never happened, I guess due to a generation gap. I think I might see why now as they badly botch a spot and the bad attempt at a save just fails miserably.

Jericho and Angle are in there now and Jericho hooks the ankle lock as we continue to shame the history of Ken Shamrock, who would win the TNA World Title in about nine months. Actually it was the NWA World Title at the time, but it was exclusive to TNA so whatever. The heels take their time beating on Jericho which at least makes sense. It’s fairly slow and boring, but it’s working to an extent I suppose.

We get a double hot tag to give us Rock vs. Angle. Rock hits the awful belly to belly to set up the even worse Sharpshooter to which Angle shockingly taps. More on that later. Since Rock is a jerk, he won’t let go until Austin knocks him off. Heyman’s panicking is just great here. Jericho can’t get the Walls, but Austin does of all things, but they last about a second. Austin is bleeding, and of course it’s profusely since it’s PPV.

Since it hasn’t been mentioned all match, we suddenly remember that Austin might be jumping, despite Vince saying it was nonsense. Austin counters Jericho’s roll up into one of his own, and wouldn’t you know it, the final two are Rock and Austin. For the life of me, I NEVER would have seen this as the final two. Ok that’s a lie but whatever. As Austin and Rock are getting going, Jericho hits Rock with the Breakdown, which technically should be a DQ.

Actually it shouldn’t be since it’s his own team so never mind. Rock naturally kicks out. Jericho heads back to the ring but Taker comes out for the save. That’s a feud that sadly never happened. They just had their first match in September of this year. That’s saying a lot. If Rock ever sold any big spot properly I think I’d have a heart attack. I get the point in doing it, but it’s just way too much most of the time, at least in my eyes.

They fight to the floor and land in the most famous of all places. Rock lands some punches square in the shoulder of Austin which for some reason keep him down. Ross and Heyman are just laying into each other on commentary and it’s great. I have no issue with the announcers being biased in circumstances like this. Austin hooks a bad Sharpshooter because we have to have a Montreal reference at every major show in history.

Austin isn’t even leaning back on it so it just looks like Rock has his legs up. There’s no heat on the move at all from the crowd because it looks so awful and no one buys that Rock is in a lot of pain at all. A belt shot from Austin misses and it’s the third bad Sharpshooter of the night. Man is this some golden edition of the Montreal reference package or something? It’s a sad thing when Rock’s Sharpshooter is better than someone else’s but that’s the case here.

In a cool scene, Austin has the WWF belt and is holding onto it as he tries to get to the ropes. For once, Ross points something out and says being champion is Austin’s life and is the reason he won’t tap. That’s just wrong because it’s been made clear that champions won’t get fired, but at least Ross is trying. In a stupid thing, Austin gets the ropes but Rock pulls him away, so Hebner keeps checking for the submission. Yeah that makes a lot of sense.

On the second time though Earl makes him break it. What’s the point of that? Y am I wasting my time trying to figure this out? Since it’s Rock vs. Austin, Rock hits a Stunner, allegedly on the inventor of it, but I don’t see Mikey Whipwreck anywhere. Nick Patrick runs out to pull Hebner out to prevent the three as Heyman says he’s a licensed official.

For some reason the idea of taking the test for your refereeing license amuses me. What’s the test like? If you mess up more than three counts you don’t pass? Do you have to learn how many taps there are in a proper tap out? Ok it’s not as funny as I thought it was. Austin hits a Rock Bottom of his own but of course he kicks out. Austin beats up Patrick, because that’s just what he does.

Since it’s a major PPV, Hebner goes down. Rock takes another Stunner and amazingly only oversells a bit. There’s no referee though as I wonder why Vince doesn’t just call for the bell on his own. It’s his show, so it’s not like it would be mind blowing. Angle runs out and screws the Alliance by hitting Austin with the belt straight into the Rock Bottom for the perfectly timed conscious Hebner to end the Alliance. The crowd was electric over this.

Heyman is at a loss for words, which shows how huge of a moment this is. Ross screams that Heyman is out of work AGAIN, which is great. Fink’s announcement of the winning organization is absolutely perfect. Stephanie is crying badly as the WWF guys are celebrating. What I meant earlier was that Angle was apparently sent into the Alliance by Vince, and it turned out that Angle, not Austin, was the one that would turn all along.

This wound up ticking off Taker, setting up his heel turn and massive haircut. Oh look, it’s Vince to take credit for something that he played absolutely zero part in. It’s good to know that some things never change. The sight of Vince holding up his arms in triumph in a WCW town no less takes us out.

Rating: B. The two problems here are very obvious. First of all, there was zero chance that the WWF would lose. Second, it was beyond obvious that it would come down to Austin vs. Rock in their I guess 23rd PPV ending fight. The match itself is good if not very good, but there’s just no drama whatsoever, which they clearly tried to put in by having Jericho and Rock against four guys and then Jericho screwing Rock.

Even still though, the ending was never once in doubt. I get that it had to be that way, but they booked themselves into a huge corner here and it showed badly. I don’t think this could have been a classic, but it was about as good as it could have been.

To give you an idea of how much these matches are being clipped, that match ran roughly an hour counting entrances. Here’s it’s about eight minutes.

Trish gives us the top five slaps of the year.

5. Debra slaps Vince for saying she’s the exception for the behind every great man there’s a great woman saying.

4. Molly slaps Austin for calling her a bimbo.

3. Debra slaps Undertaker for being a jerk. She slaps him twice.

2. Trish slaps Vince to turn face at Wrestlemania.

1. Stephanie slaps Linda who apparently is weaker than a referee, being knocked out by a single slap.

Back to the matches.

#4: InVasion – HardcoreTitle: RobVanDamvs. JeffHardy

Why all the TNA on TNA violence? RVD’s outfit is tiger print of all things tonight. He looks like Tony the Tiger in spandex. This should be fun. Hardy isn’t a huge deal yet but he’s in the midcard. Van Dam is WAY over. Crowd is red hot for this as it was more or less the second featured match on the card. Hardy goes for his run the rail spot and Van Dam makes the stop by jumping up on it to stop him. Nice.

Into the crowd now. This is totally sloppy and totally a mess but since it’s a hardcore match, it’s working rather well actually. The crowd is helping it a lot also. Van Dam takes a bow which is a very nice touch. With Van Dam on the apron, Hardy slingshots over the ropes into a powerbomb to the floor. Sweet looking spot and it’s ladder time. This had to happen. In another sick spot, Hardy is on the top of the ladder, and I mean the big one, and is pushed off and crashes to the floor.

This was what gave us the “How do you learn to fall off a 20ft ladder” soundbyte. In another, say it with me, sick spot, Van Dam is crouched but jumps into the air for a Van Daminator that looked GREAT. It knocked Hardy through the hole into the stage to the floor. We’ve reached the part where it’s just them beating the living crap out of each other and the fan are flat out eating it up.

The belt is in the ring as Hardy gets a nice German Suplex. Jeff is bleeding a bit. Swanton misses. With Jeff down, Van Dam puts the belt on Hardy’s chest and hits the 5 Star for the pin. Fun match.

Rating: B+. This is a great example of a match where you have to consider what was going on out there. This wasn’t meant to be a mat clinic or anything. This was about high impact, high intensity over the top spots and that’s what the fans got. This was fun and the crowd loved it. Great match.

Rock is in the back on the phone and notices the camera. Apparently he’s hosting a top five segment but forgot he agreed to do it. It’s the top five put downs of the year but he abuses the guy holding the boom mic for a bit first. The guy is taller than Rock but he’s wearing a WCW shirt. Rock makes him remove it. Rock: “GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY PUT THE SHIRT BACK ON!”

5. Rock to Stephanie about how cheap of a sl** she is.

4. Edge to X-Pac: “1998 called and they’re sick of you too so come join us in 2001.”

3. Big Show imitates Positive DDP.

2. Jericho making fun of Stephanie’s breast implants. Jericho ripping Stephanie never gets old.

1. Rock rips Booker T for being stupid. Rock: “Teacher asks what’s 2+2. Booker T says THOMAS JEFFERSON SUCKA!”

#3: Wrestlemania – WWF World Heavyweight Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock

This is made No DQ just before the match starts which is a surprise to everyone and it comes back to play a factor later. JR’s saying WHAT as soon as that’s announced made me laugh quite loudly. The glass shatters and the ovation is deafening. Austin is so over it’s amazing. He hits the first corner and the pop grows somehow. He turns around to cross the ring and it’s as if everything goes into slow motion. Austin climbs to the middle rope, throws two fingers into the air, and the flashbulbs go insane. It’s that moment that defines this whole show I think.

 

All of the other great matches all night long, from the wrestling classic to the ladders to the war we just saw, none of that means anything anymore and every single eye in the building is on this man right here. It’s the peak of Steve Austin’s popularity and it’s amazing to say the very least. JR’s commentary is absolutely perfect here. It’s that perfect voice that we all know, but the words simply couldn’t be better. He builds this match up to be as epic as it should be. The music ends, and we hear the sound of his opponent.

Rock comes out to an INCREDIBLY mixed reaction. He’s either being cheered all the way to heaven or being booed out of the building. Not sure which. He hits the corner, throws the belt over his shoulder with his arm raised in the air, and we get the staredown from one side of the ring to the other. The feeling is all there too. You can tell what you’re watching is absolutely epic and it feel just right.

 

The fight starts almost immediately with Austin jumping Rock as he gets off the ropes. Thesz Press takes down Rock seconds into it but Rock fights back with a swinging neckbreaker. Rock Bottom and Stunner both don’t connect and we hit the floor. Out into the crowd they go with neither guy keeping an advantage at all. Back to the ring now with Austin having a brief advantage.

 

Superplex gets two and Austin takes the turnbuckle pad off. Rock fights back to massive booing and a clothesline for two. Back out to the floor again and Austin gets a shot with the bell to take Rock down. Rock is sent onto the table which breaks on a delay so the camera misses it. This is so epic. These two are the biggest stars in the world and this is the biggest match of the year. What more can you ask for?

 

Austin hits a neckbreaker for two. Mudhole stomping commences but Rock comes flying out with a clothesline to huge boos. More slugging it out with Rock in control now. Rock grabs the bell and gets a shot to the head with it for two. Austin is busted open and Rock hammers away. Oh man he’s bleeding BAD. Back to the floor again and they fight it out even more.

 

Another important thing to note is Ross. Ross has been mostly reserved all night but now he’s pouring it on. This makes this look FAR more interesting and intense while at the same time not diminishing the other stuff. Austin gets a slingshot to send Rock into the post. Monitor to the head and Rock is down on the floor. THAT gets two.

 

Austin flips Rock off and gets caught in the Sharpshooter for his efforts. Rock is busted now too. Great throwback here to Mania 13 as Austin screams in the hold. Rock pulls him back to the middle and Austin is in big trouble. Finally there’s the rope. Now Austin throws it on Rock and the people are loving it. After it gets broken it goes on again and this time it’s a rope used to escape. HUGE booing when he gets there too.

 

The Million Freaking Dollar Dream goes on and the bloody Rock is in trouble. Rock pushes off the corner ala Bret vs. Austin at Survivor Series 96 but this time Austin kicks out. Little things like those make matches AWESOME. Rock gets a Stunner out of nowhere for two.

 

And now we set up the ending as Vince McMahon is here. Both guys get spinebusters but Rock’s sets up the People’s Elbow. Vince slides in and breaks that up though, shocking everyone. Rock chases Vince but runs into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two. Crowd is losing it on these kickouts. Stunner is blocked and there goes the referee again.

 

A low blow puts Rock down and Austin asks Vince for a chair. Vince cracks Rock with it as the crowd isn’t sure what to do. Vince puts the referee back in but THAT gets two. A Rock Bottom out of nowhere but Vince has the referee. Rock pulls Vince in but walks into another Stunner for ANOTHER two. Austin is all ticked off now and Vince hands him a chair, drilling Rock with it for two. Austin absolutely explodes, drilling Rock with the chair an insane 19 times and getting the academic pin for the title. Rock is DEAD.

 

Rating: A+. The repeated finishers and chair shots hurt this quite a bit, but the crowd, the commentary and the overall feeling push this to the sky easily. Epic feeling the whole match and the crowd was in the palm of their hands. Not great wrestling, but the crowd carries this to greatness.

Austin and Vince shake hands, ending the Attitude Era and also ending the superpower that WWE was and marking the beginning of the decline of the company. They share a beer and another Stunner to Rock ends this very long but incredible show.

Cole says three matches are from Wrestlemania. I’m 99% sure I know the two remaining matches now.

Debra has the top five food moments.

5. Jericho hits Stephanie with a pie.

4. Debra hits Austin with a cookie sheet. That was a great shot too.

3. MILK-A-MANIA!!!

2. Austin vs. Booker in the grocery store. That’s a favorite of mine.

1. Rock talks to Lillian about strudel. He asks her if she would like some and she’s gone, saying she’d love it more than anything. Rock asks for a little professionalism.

I was right about the first of the two matches.

 

#2: Wrestlemania – TagTitles: Edge/Christianvs. HardyBoysvs. DudleyBoys

This is yet another match with no story but it never needed one. These three teams all wanted to be the champions and this match was fairly obvious. The Dudleys come in as champions here. All four faces jump the Canadians to get us going here. The Dudleys hit a flapjack to Christian as the beating is on. The Hardys take down the Dudleys for awhile until Edge and Christian bring in a ladder.

 

Edge grabs a chair and he and Christian stand on Matt’s balls in the corner. A double drop toehold by the Canadians puts Jeff into the chair. Edge tries to get the belts but Jeff makes the save. The Hardys get a double baseball slide into a ladder into the Dudleys on the floor. Using a pair of ladders, Matt drops a leg and Jeff drops a splash on Christian at the same time. Nice move.

 

There goes Matt’s shirt and there go the girls. What’s Up to Edge And now it’s table time. Edge is laid out on one so Bubba picks up Jeff and powerbombs him right through Edge and in turn the table. On the floor now and the Dudleys stack up two tables on top of two more tables for the big spot later in the match. Paul talks about Big Daddy Dudley’s construction company in Dudleyville. Oh dear.

 

More ladders are brought in and in a spot that still makes me and the crowd breathe in, Bubba takes a ladder and just bashes Matt in the head with it. That has to hurt. All six guys go up at once and all six guys come crashing down almost at once with some hitting ropes, some hitting mat and some hitting ropes. Christian goes flying to the floor which looks AWESOME from the above the ring camera.

 

He sets up a table on the floor as Edge tries to go up. Spike Dudley who was injured by Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno, comes out and takes down Edge and hits a Dudley Dog to Christian through the table. Jeff goes up but it’s Rhyno out now for the save. Gee I wonder who will come out to help out the Hardys. Rhyno destroys everyone and here’s Lita.

 

She stops Edge from going up but gets caught in a gorilla press by Rhyno. Spike saves her and it’s a Litarana for Rhyno. Spike hits Rhyno with a chair and he falls into a ladder, sending Edge down. Dudleyville (Doomsday) Device to Rhyno and he’s finally down. Lita takes her top off (looking incredibly good in a black bra) but walks into a 3D. Chair shots by the Canadians take out the Dudleys and Edge wants the big ladder.

 

Jeff gets the large ladder though and hits a Swanton onto Rhyno and Spike who are both on tables. Spike takes the whole thing and Rhyno’s table doesn’t even break. That was ALL Spike. The big ladder is in the ring now and set up in the middle of the ring. Christian and D-Von go up but Matt moves the ladder under them (with a shout of HERE WE GO first) and they’re stuck hanging there.

 

After both fall, Jeff walks across the top of the three other ladders (kind of as the third one falls) to get to the titles. The big ladder is in the corner and Jeff goes up a regular one. The ladder is moved by Bubba and since Jeff’s feet were on it, Jeff goes swinging in the opposite direction, right into a spear by Edge from the super ladder, which is not only Edge’s Wrestlemania moment, but the moment that made him a star.

 

Back after about 5 replays with Bubba and Matt going up the big ladder. Rhyno shoves the ladder over and they go crashing through the four tables that were set up at ringside earlier. D-Von and Christian go up but Rhyno gets beneath Christian and climbs up with Christian on his shoulders, giving him the needed assist to win the titles again. Incredible match all around to say the least.


Rating: A+. These guys nearly killed each other. You can see that it’s miles better than last year because they knew what they were doing to a greater extent. That spear from Edge more or less ended Christian’s usefulness in the WWF as Edge began to get the singles push from here on out.

 

Either way, this match is great as it’s a total spot fest but it is still better than all of the MITB matches that would follow in its footsteps. If you’re bored here, go get a blood injection. The crowd ate this up and it just clicks all around as they somehow top the other matches they had which are also greats.

We got a lot more of that match and with a lot of time left, if the #1 match is what I think it is, we can fit almost all of it in.

We get a highlight reel of Austin saying WHAT. That’s a pretty great catchphrase for how big it was in 2001.

I was right about #1 too.

#1: No Way Out – Steve Austin vs. HHH

First fall is a regular match, second is street fight, third is cage. MASSIVE pop for Austin, but the crowd has been white hot all night. I’m surprised that this is in the middle of the card but you know it’s going to get some time. Maybe they want to do this so the crowd isn’t spent at the end? Naturally it’s a slugfest to start. Mudhole is stomped 30 seconds in. Big old AUSTIN chant as he dominates early on.

Modified hot shot to take down Austin though as this is fast paced for the most part. Pedigree is blocked into a DDT on the arm which I need to learn the name of. We head to the floor as Austin works the arm. This is a regular match but Austin ramming HHH’s arm into a post about 6 times is perfectly fine? HHH can’t do the Pedigree because of his arm, which is SELLING! Simply shaking your arm is passable, but having it prevent you from doing your moves is SELLING.

Thesz Press and Austin is dominant so far. HHH gets his foot up when Austin is coming off the ropes, but for once Austin actually has his arms up to look like he’s doing a move. I hate when people just jump into it for the sake of jumping into it. Neckbreaker takes HHH down but it doesn’t do much due to the weak arm.

HHH goes after the knee which is Austin’s weak point as well. He goes for the leg into the post thing but Austin counters and HHH and the nose of doom hit the post. Back to the knee as HHH takes over with a figure four. Austin gets out and does a nice move where he gets HHH n the mat and beats on him with his leg. Cooler than it sounds. Thesz Press and the elbow get two.

Everyone counters everything and we slug it out. HHH gets a kick to the knee and goes to the middle rope. He jumps into the boot though and Austin hits the Stunner for the completely clean pinfall.

No rest period between falls and we’re right back at it again. It’s a street fight now and we hit the floor. Austin’s knee is ok I guess as he hits some suplexes on the floor. Monitor connects with HHH’s head and apparently it’s broken. Naturally we head into the crowd and it’s all Austin. Back in the ring and Austin destroys HHH Rock-Style with a chair.

After nearly murdering HHH we head back to the floor where Austin finds a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire for no apparent reason. A low blows allows HHH to blast him in the face with it though and Austin is bleeding. HHH sets for the Pedigree on the table but Austin counters and sends him through the other table which EXPLODES. Awesome stuff so far if you can’t tell.

Back in the ring a bell shot (Austin brought it in earlier) gets two for HHH. This is a war with both guys hitting all these big shots out of desperation. Back to the neck with a neckbreaker onto the chair for two. Backdrop by Austin sends HHH free falling over the top. Cool looking drop. More weapons stuff on the floor but the intensity and selling is making it work.

You can barely hear Lawler here as his mic is messed up or something. HHH finds a sledgehammer and Lawler accuses JR for putting it there. Back in the ring again and a Stunner is blocked by a sledgehammer shot to Austin’s head. Pedigree follows that and thankfully that ties us up at 1-1. I would have rolled my eyes very heavily if Austin had kicked out of that.

The cage is lowered as we get a quick break. It’s been about 30 minutes so far and nothing but awesome. Austin is more or less dead and eats the cage again. HHH gets the barbed wire 2×4 and rips Austin’s face open a bit more with it. The sledgehammer and at least one chair are also in there with them. Make that two chairs, one of which saves Austin as he blasts HHH in the head with it.

HHH gets it in the face (I would have thought that would have been Stephanie but whatever) for a long time but gets a DDT out of desperation onto the chair but it only gets two. The crowd is a bit silent but it’s pretty clear that the fans know nothing is going to end without something huge. Austin comes back and goes OFF on HHH who just collapses face first out of the corner.

Game tries to bale but he Austin makes two saves, culminating with an old school slam off the top rope. Stunner is blocked but the Pedigree hits for TWO. The place erupts on the kickout and HHH is shocked. Another is blocked and HHH gets hit with a slingshot into the cage. Stunner hits and both guys are out. After the break Austin covers for two as this is awesome. HHH gets the hammer and Austin gets the 2×4. Both swing with everything they’ve got and connect, but HHH falls on Austin for the pin. I think I need a cigarette.

Rating: A+. Without question, this is awesome. Any of the three falls is great to say the least and the ending was perfect. Both guys are protected but not in a way that makes it look like they’re being protected. HHH got lucky and won it, as Lawler says that it’s not fair to say either guy really won. Just an absolute WAR with these two beating the living heck out of each other and making the crowd love every minute of it. With 40 minutes of these two beating each other to death, how is it not a perfect match?

Ten matches and absolutely nothing from Smackdown. Austin vs. Benoit can’t make the list? Well to be fair it was fan voted and I don’t think many people watched Smackdown back then.

Lawler and Cole wrap things up.

Overall Rating: A+. Look at the ratings I give this and tell me what you think I’m saying this is. A DVD of the full versions of these matches wouldn’t stay on the shelves long enough, although it would be roughly seven hours long if you included entrances. The impressive thing is they left off A TON of stuff. When three of the best ten matches are from Wrestlemania and they left some good stuff off that show too, you know it’s a great show. Anyway this is great and almost everything from 2001 is mentioned here. Check this show out, but have Youtube open to see the full versions of the matches.

2001 was a very important year for the WWF, but overall it’s looked back on as a year of lost opportunities. At the end of the day, Vince McMahon owned WCW and ECW and ran the biggest angle of all time inside of six months and botched it worse than anything has ever been botched. You could very easily call this the worst blunder in the history of wrestling and get very few arguments. That’s the legacy of 2001 and that’s a shame.

It’s a shame because as you can see here, there was some AMAZING wrestling in the year, possibly better than any other year. The whole feuds of Rock vs. Jericho, Benoit vs. Austin and Jericho vs. Austin are only touched on here and those matches alone were match of the year candidates. This was an excellent in ring year and you would have some great times going back and checking out these ten plus a lot more matches from the year. The problem is the blown chances overshadow that stuff and it brings the rest of the year down.

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Monday Night Raw – December 30, 2013: Daniel Bryan…..Says Yes?

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 30, 2013
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show of the year tonight and the main story is that a large portion of the roster is at a house show in Toronto. There’s no Cena, Orton, Wyatts, Big Show or several others tonight, meaning we could be in for a very different kind of show. There’s also been a major event spoiled but I’ll save it in case you haven’t seen it yet. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Punk to open things up. He’s excited for a new year but wants to reflect on what he’s done in 2013. After starting off the year as the longest reigning champion in 25 years, he went one on one with the great one, stood toe to toe with Undertaker, lost a friend in Paul Heyman and then beat the tar out of him. However, this hasn’t been CM Punk’s year. Instead, this year belonged to the Shield.

Punk has a proposition for the Shield tonight and will present it to him whenever their paths cross. Here they are immediately with Ambrose dropping his belt as they come over the barricade. Ambrose wants a good reason why they’re not ending Punk right now. Punk says he’s the best, but he wants to fight the best member of Shield. Ambrose says he’s ready right now but Punk was talking about Reigns and Rollins because he’s beaten Dean half a dozen times.

If Ambrose is the weak link, Punk wants to find out who is the strong link. If it’s Reigns, let’s find out right now. Rollins says he (Rollins) is the best and he’ll fight Punk tonight. Punk isn’t sure Rollins is the best and neither is Reigns who gets in Seth’s face. Brad Maddox returns from whatever hole he fell into about six weeks ago to make the match right now.

Seth Rollins vs. CM Punk

Rollins bails to the floor from an early GTS attempt and we take a break 20 seconds in. Back with Rollins taking Punk into the corner but coming out with an elbow to the jaw. The announcers talk about the potential split in the Shield as Punk tries a sunset flip out of the corner but there’s no Rollins there. They do the spot again with Punk swinging around the ropes to put Rollins in the Anaconda Vice. CM lets go of the hold and slams Punk down to take over.

Punk sends Rollins into the corner and tries a small package but they botch every bit of it with Rollins stumbling around instead of going down. We hit the reverse chinlock from Rollins as he stays on the back. Rollins stomps Punk down for two and it’s off to a regular chinlock. Punk fights up and suplexes Rollins down but gets knocked off the apron as we take a break. Back with Punk missing a charge into the corner to injure his shoulder and stop a comeback.

Rollins goes up but misses a backsplash, allowing Punk to get two more off a rollup. Punk comes back with the running knee in the corner but Rollins catches him coming and throws Punk into a buckle bomb. The Blackout misses but Seth enziguris him down for two. Reigns slaps the mat and tells Rollins to end this so Seth loads up a GTS, only to be shoved away and hit with a running knee against the ropes. Punk tries the Macho Elbow but Rollins rolls away, only to have Shield pull Punk face first into the middle buckle.

Seth goes up but gets crotched, only to block a Punk superplex attempt. Rollins hits a high cross body but Punk rolls through into the Anaconda Vice. Ambrose comes in but makes no contact so the match continues. Punk tries the GTS but Rollins reverses into the standing Sliced Bread. The referee is with Shield so the count is delayed and just gets two. Punk backdrops Rollins onto Ambrose and Reigns but Rollins blocks a suicide dive attempt. Seth tries a sunset flip but Punk catches him on the shoulders and puts Seth to sleep for the pin at 18:12.

Rating: B-. The match was solid and continued to make Rollins look great but there were some bad moments with the small package standing out. It’s still good stuff and with so many people gone, they had to have long matches like this to fill in the time. The Shield split should be interesting to watch.

Brad Maddox talks about how important tonight is when the Authority comes in. After some sucking up, Maddox thinks he’s ready to take a step forward. Daniel Bryan comes in and demands a shot at Bray Wyatt before the year ends. Maddox makes a gauntlet match with Daniel against the Wyatts. Stephanie is impressed but is going to top him by naming the main event for the Royal Rumble.

Here’s Stephanie to brag about what the Authority has done. Their biggest accomplishment: crowning a single WWE World Heavyweight Champion in Randy Orton. This sets up a long video package on Orton’s career to fill in more time. Stephanie announces the main event of the Royal Rumble: a traditional match with the fall coming by pinfall or submission only as Orton defends against….John Cena. Ok then.

We recap Bryan vs. the Wyatts.

HHH has an announcement of his own for later.

Curtis Axel vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler still has that stupid pink streak in his hair. Also it’s good to see that he’s back this fast after being DDT’d on the floor on Friday. Axel quickly throws Dolph to the floor for two and it’s time to choke. Ziggler reverses a whip to send Axel face first into the middle buckle before pounding away with right hands. A neckbreaker gets two for Ziggler but Axel comes back with a suplex and some trash talk. He talks so much that Ziggler pops up and hits the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. Neither guy is going anywhere at all and it’s good that things only got as bad as they did this year. Axel just needs to be repackaged already while he still has something going for him at all. There’s just nothing to him anymore and it’s getting more and more depressing.

How to download the App.

You can pick Sandow’s opponent tonight: Khali, Miz or Kofi.

Next week: Raw Old School. I’m so in.

Intercontinental Title: Fandango vs. Big E. Langston

We actually get big match intros for this one. Langston takes him to the mat with ease and actually does some amateur stuff for a change. Fandango comes back with a spinwheel kick for two and pounds away on the champion. Langston pops up and leapfrogs over Fandango before hitting a hard shoulder to send him outside. Back in and Langston charges again but hits his knee on Fandango’s head. Fandango puts on a modified Indian deathlock but Langston punches him in the face for the break. Big E. misses a charge into the post though and we take a break.

Back with Fandango still on the knee and putting on a series of leg locks. Langston fights out of a chinlock and tries a belly to belly despite being on one leg. The Warrior Splash is blocked by another shot tot he knee and Fandango gets two off a tornado DDT. The guillotine legdrop connects but the champion rolls to the floor. Fandango throws him back inside and kicks Langston in the face but it only seems to wake Big E. up. An overhead belly to belly sets up the Warrior Splash and the Big Ending retains the title at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Now why is this so hard? They’re building up challengers of the week for Langston and having him mow them down after getting in trouble during the matches. That’s how you build up both a champion and a title but for some reason it’s NEVER done anymore. If they keep this up, Langston will come out looking great.

More on Bryan vs. Wyatts.

Here are Booker T, the Prime Time Players, a bunch of jobbers and the Divas for a New Year’s party. We’re going to get a New Year’s Spinarooni but here’s Bad News Barrett on a rising platform to stop the fun. Barrett says the new year is supposed to be about new beginnings but it’s really just about bringing us one year closer to the apocalypse.

The reality is everyone will keep stabbing each other in the back for whatever they want while everyone else is going to pollute the environment before holding their hands out for donations once Mother Nature takes their homes away. Bad News Barrett will be here to tell us how bad it is of course.

Sandow says he’ll quit if he loses this week.

Damien Sandow vs. Great Khali

Khali wins a pretty close poll with 39% of the vote. Damien fires off right hands but gets caught by loud chops. Sandow escapes a powerbomb and dropkicks Khali’s knee out to take over. Some knee drops get two for Damien and it’s back to the leg all over again. The fans are quickly getting bored as Sandow drops an elbow for two. Khali chops Sandow from his knees and grabs the Vice, only to have Damien roll forward and send Khali into the buckle. A rollup keeps Sandow around at 4:55.

Rating: F. They spent five minutes resolving an angle that was set up five minutes before the match. Terribly uninteresting match here, especially considering Heath Slater pinned Khali earlier this year. Sandow has the character and isn’t bad in the ring but he’s been completely wasted lately.

R-Truth vs. Brodus Clay

Woods is on commentary and claims to have taught Brodus how to dance. Brodus shoves Truth down to start but Truth comes back with some pelvic thrusts. A headbutt to the chest puts Truth down and there’s the t-bone suplex out of the corner. Brodus throws him down again and cannonballs onto Truth’s back. Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker by Clay before he drops an elbow for two. Woods gets up on the announce table and asks for the girls to come out here. Dancing ensues and Truth comes off the middle rope with Little Jimmy for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: D. Has Brodus won a match since turning heel? In case you couldn’t guess, this match sucked and that’s all there is to say about it.

Here’s HHH for his announcement. 2013 was a great year under the Authority but next year will be even bigger. With that, please welcome back this man: Brock Lesnar, flanked by Paul Heyman. HHH shakes Brock’s hand and walks out to let Heyman talk. Paul talks about the Beast being back but says Lesnar isn’t here for revenge. However, Brock Lesnar is here to announce his desire to become WWE World Heavyweight Champion. That means the winner of Cena vs. Orton will have to face the self declared #1 contender.

Brock takes the mic and says he doesn’t care who he’s fighting because there’s no one here that can stop him. He doesn’t have to stand in line for a title shot because the line forms behind him. Brock dares anyone to come out here and do something about that, so here’s Mark Henry to challenge. Lesnar hits a jumping knee to knock Henry to the floor and spears Henry through the barricade. An F5 on the floor leaves Henry laying as Heyman calls Brock off.

Total Divas vs. True Divas

It’s the Bellas/Funkadactyls/Eva Marie vs. Rosa Mendes/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Kaitlyn/Aksana. Eva and Kaitlyn get things going with Eva elbowing her in the face and blowing kisses to the crowd. Kaitlyn is staggered by a kick to the chest but none of the other Total Divas want to deal with Eva. Eva finally tags Cameron in but Alicia makes a blind tag and cleans house.

Summer Rae and Rosa (dressed almost identically) take turns stomping on Cameron in the corner before it’s off to Aksana for some choking. Cameron finally crawls over for a tag to Nikki who puts Aksana in the rack (get it?). Everything breaks down and Aksana hits a reverse Eye of the Hurricane for the pin on Nikki at 5:10.

Rating: D-. Yeah it sucked, but it was a bunch of good looking women in tiny outfits. That’s more than the Tribute to the Troops show managed to pull off. They need to figure out where this division is going though because it’s getting even worse. From what I can find, that’s Aksana’s first pin on TV in nearly two years.

We look at Tribute to the Troops from Saturday.

Brad Maddox tells the Authority that Khali’s shoulders were up and the matter has been dealt with. Stephanie is pleased and asks about Old School Raw next week. Apparently Brad has lined up their favorites including Naitch himself. Brad: “WOO!” HHH: “Don’t do that.”

Daniel Bryan vs. Wyatt Family

Luke Harper the first part of the gauntlet match. Bryan fires off kicks at the knee in the corner to start before putting on the seated surfboard submission. Harper comes back with some elbows in the corner and those weird noises he makes. There’s the Gator Roll followed by a headlock to kill some time. Bryan fights up but gets caught in a Michinoku Driver for two as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock and doing the moonsault out of the corner to set up the running clothesline. Harper goes to the floor for TWO FLYING GOATS and some kicks to the chest. Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and YES Kicks for two as Wyatt is looking nervous. Bryan fires off more kicks in the corner but gets powerbombed down for two.

Bray takes his hat off, making him look even more bizarre in the process. A release half nelson suplex gets two more for Harper but Luke spends too much time looking around and gets caught in the YES Lock. That’s fine with him though as Harper just breaks Daniel’s grip. Bryan flips out of a suplex and hits the running knee for the pin at 15:00. I’ll be rating the matches as a whole at the end.

Rowan jumps Bryan to start the second match before sending him out to the floor. Bryan gets whipped across the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Rowan driving a knee into Bryan’s ribs for two. A middle rope fallaway slam sends the fans into a no chant, prompting Bryan to grab a small package for the pin 22:15. Rowan immediately goes after Bryan but Harper pulls him away because Bray wants Bryan to himself.

Bray talks a lot of trash and does the upside down look in the corner as Bryan gets to his feet. Wyatt charges at Bray but stops just short. He turns his back on Daniel but the Wyatts come in for the DQ 24:10. There was no contact between Bray and Daniel at all, which is probably the best move.

Rating: B-. This was a good match and the main story at the end of the day is we still have Bryan vs. Wyatt down the line. The match is going to be awesome due to the buildup which is the thing we don’t get anymore. It’s the long term build instead of just hotshotting something and that’s what this feud needed.

The Family destroys Bryan while Bray watches from the corner. He says this is where Bryan’s story ends because Bray is all out of mercy. Bray puts a mic to Daniel’s mouth and Daniel says Bray is right. Wyatt tells him to say it again and Daniel complies. He talks about how the machine doesn’t care about him because they’ve ignored the YES chants and all the matches he’s won.

Bryan says he’s Bray’s and wants to join the Family. He pulls himself up by Bray’s leg and does the Bray pose, only to get a Sister Abigail without really struggling. Bray puts Daniel’s hand over his own heart and says this is forever. The Family carries Bryan up the ramp but he stops and walks on his own but stops at the stage. The fans chant NO but Bray says not to listen to them. Bryan looks back but closes his eyes and bows his head before getting all angry. He calms down, drops his head, and leaves with the Wyatts to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was one of those shows where they didn’t try as hard to make it feel epic and the show got WAY better as a result. The main story is of course the return of Brock as you can feel Wrestlemania coming soon. Bryan getting to face Wyatt was a nice idea but that’s going to be a big deal when we get the real version. Him joining the Family is going to be an interesting story but it’s going to make the eventual showdown all the more interesting. This show flew by which is a good way to close out the year.

Results

CM Punk b. Seth Rollins – GTS

Dolph Ziggler b. Curtis Axel – Zig Zag

Big E. Langston b. Fandango – Big Ending

Damien Sandow b. Great Khali – Rollup

True Divas b. Total Divas – Reverse Eye of the Hurricane to Nikki

Daniel Bryan b. Wyatt Family via DQ when Harper and Rowan interfered

 

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2013 Awards: Match of the Year

There were some great matches in 2013 and several of them were available for free.

One honorable mention: Sami Zayn vs. Antonio Cesaro from NXT.  It’s a 2/3 falls match and an outstanding fight.  Zayn is as good of an underdog character as you’ll find in wrestling today but Cesaro in Beast Mode is going to put down anyone he’s against.

Now to the nominees:

Rhodes Brothers vs. Shield – Battleground.  It’s the worst show of the year but this match brought out so much emotion for reasons we’ve already covered.  The main story here is the Brothers trying to get their jobs back after losing them to the Authority.  The match was all about the emotion and that’s better than action every single time.  Great match but it didn’t save the show.

CM Punk vs. John Cena – February 26 Raw.  This was the match for Cena’s Wrestlemania title shot and these guys tore the house down.  I called it the best TV match I’ve ever seen and I still  think it ranks right up there with anything I’ve ever seen.  The one thing that holds it back is the lack of drama at the end.  Everyone knew Cena was going to win, but the question was how.  That’s very good but not perfect.

Daniel Bryan Runs The Gauntlet – July 22 Raw.  If a match told a better story on TV this year, I didn’t see it.  Bryan had to face Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro and then Ryback in succession.  Swagger didn’t even last three minutes, but the Cesaro section is a war between two different styles.  After that it was Ryback where Bryan gave it his all but couldn’t overcome the power.  The key here though: Ryback lost via DQ, thereby giving us a logical conclusion that doesn’t damage anyone.  Outstanding stuff.

 

That brings us to the two real contenders.

 

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena – Summerslam.  What else can I say about this match?  It was long, it was exciting, it had great action, it had an ending that came out of nowhere.  The one thing that holds it back: there was no way Cena was winning with that baseball growing out of his elbow.  Just like Cena vs. Punk, there was only one possible winner to this and that was Daniel Bryan.  Still though, excellent match.

 

The winner:

 

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar – Summerslam.  My goodness what a match this was.  In something I don’t say that often, I was completely wrong about this one.  I didn’t think Punk could be a realistic threat to Lesnar but he went move for move with the beast and had me wondering who was going to win the entire time.  It’s an amazing match with both guys beating the tar out of each other.  On top of that, it was more proof that HHH had no business hogging Lesnar for a year as Brock has had masterpieces with Punk and Cena but three only good matches with HHH.

 

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On This Day: December 24, 2001 – Monday Night Raw: They Really Did This On Christmas Eve

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 24, 2001
Location: Miami Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s Christmas Eve so of course we’re not live. We have a few weeks before HHH gets back so until thing we’re kind of in a holding pattern. Jericho is champion but given that they don’t even have an Undisputed Title belt for him, how serious can we take his reign so far? The show is in a bad stretch and it’s really only going to get worse in the next few years. Let’s get to it.

In case you didn’t see the link at the end of the last review, here’s the December 17, 2001 show which I had done already:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/12/27/monday-night-raw-december-17-2011-nuns-groceries-and-bingo/

We’ve got an eggnog match later so you can tell things aren’t that serious.

Then again we have Jericho vs. Rock for the title later so maybe things won’t be that bad.

Here’s the hometown hero in his old Miami jersey to open the show. It’s Rock if that wasn’t clear. Rock says he’s come back home and talks about the main event tonight against Jericho. Oh and the Hurricanes will win the Rose Bowl. I believe they did that actually. He asks for his book and is handed The Rock’s Night Before Christmas. The book is exactly what you would expect with the focus being on Rock vs. Jericho.

Before he can finish though, here’s Angle, thankfully with the classic version of his music instead of that bad remix. Angle accuses Santa of being a pervert for seeing you when you’re sleeping. He thinks Vince is better than Mr. Claus because Vince has made the main event tonight a triple threat match. Rock doesn’t really care. Somehow this segment took almost 12 minutes.

Vince is having a Christmas party with Patterson and Brisco as elves. Bubba is Santa which means Stacy as a sexy Mrs. Claus. Booker and the Big Bossman show up so it’s time to bust out the strippers. Booker officially has a contract now. Vince’s music is playing as this goes on.

Rikishi vs. Test

Rikishi pounds him down into the corner but Test avoids a charge and beats on Rikishi. A DDT puts Rikishi down for two and Test shoves the referee. The referee punches Test and it’s a DQ win for Rikishi. This was nothing.

Test pounds on the referee but Rikishi makes the save.

Trish, looking GREAT, shows up at Flair’s Christmas party. Torrie is Mrs. Claus and I think Tajiri is Santa. Big Show struts like Flair and Tajiri gives Torrie some very small lingerie. Albert and Edge try to make Kane laugh and Big Show does his Hogan impression which is still pretty good. Debra brings in cookies and says Austin is on the way. Well it’s not like anyone was watching this episode anyway.

Billy and Chuck give each other matching headbands. Taz talks to Bubba because Bubba has a good looking girl on his lap and that’s not Santa-like. Bubba: “You’re just mad because all my elves are taller than you.” That was a good line. Fink shows up and brings in Mae and Moolah as the new dancers.

Billy and Chuck vs. APA

Billy and Chuck aren’t quite gay yet but they’re inching towards it. The APA looks at each other and pound on Billy and Chuck from behind. Billy and Chuck double team Farrooq before Chuck gets some alone time with him. Chuck gets laid…..out by a DDT and it’s off to Bradshaw and Billy. It’s finishers a go-go and Chuck trips Bradshaw so Billy gets to be on top for the quick pin. That’s good as I was running out of sex jokes.

RVD is ticked off and looking for someone. After a break he goes into Jericho’s room but finds Lance Storm. I guess he got a job on Smackdown. They get in an argument and a match is made.

Show and Albert are in Kane masks talking to the Big Red Machine when Arn Anderson shows up with beer. Austin shows up too with even more beer. We get a live WHAT rendition as Austin reads off a Christmas list while sitting on Tajiri’s lap.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

It’s the Barely Legal rematch that no one was asking for. They brawl to start with both guys flying around and hitting kicks to the face for two. Not that it matters as we’re in a chinlock 45 seconds in. Van Dam kicks him down and hits the cartwheel moonsault for two. A superkick gets two for Storm but Van Dam backflips out of a belly to back superplex. Another kick sets up the Five Star for the pin. Another short match.

Test hits on Terri at Vince’s party. That goes nowhere so Paisley interviews Maven about Tough Enough 2. This goes nowhere until Booker yells at Maven, setting up a match later. Is it clear that it’s Christmas Eve and they’re not even trying? Mae is drunk.

Stacy Keibler vs. Torrie Wilson

It’s an eggnog match between the Mrs. Clauses. What are you expecting here? They fight by the pool of eggnog, they go in it, they do some “wrestling” and the referee falls in as well. Torrie wins in like two minutes.

Back to Vince’s party and Jericho shows up to complain about being put in a triple threat. Vince tries to soothe him but Stephanie returns, a mere FIVE WEEKS after being thrown out. She has a gift for Vince, which is a monogrammed money clip. Vince doesn’t seem to care and throws her out. She would be back full time in about three weeks.

European Title: Christian vs. The Hurricane

Christian is defending and takes a shot at the Miami Hurricanes which is appropriate in more ways than one. Christian charges at him to start and is immediately clotheslined to the floor. Hurricane hits a big dive to the floor as JR suggests Pat Patterson is a fairy and not an elf. Back in and Christian kicks Hurricane low to take over.

The fans chant the Hurricanes’ (the football team, not the masked dude) fight song as Christian knees Hurricane in the ribs for two. Hurricane hits a quick crossbody but can’t get much more after that. Molly offers a distraction and Hurricane comes back, hitting a Blockbuster for two. Christian throws him to the floor but ducks an attack from Hurricane which takes out Molly. Christian throws him back inside and hits the Unprettier to retain.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but when this is the first match that broke three minutes after over an hour of the show, it’s kind of hard to get into it. Also the ending here was really abrupt with Christian just hitting his finisher out of nowhere for the pin. The title meant nothing at this point and was ready to be retired, which wouldn’t come for almost a year.

Taz switches parties and causes a match to be made between Bubba and Tajiri for later. Austin plays the guitar for some entertainment.

Booker T vs. Maven

Booker has Bossman as a bodyguard in an angle I don’t remember at all. Maven is brand new here still so this isn’t going to be much in the ways of competition. Maven fires off some forearms to start followed by a few dropkicks, which was really the only move he could do well. Booker shrugs that off and kicks Maven down to take over. A superkick puts Maven down and there’s the Spinarooni. An Alabama Slam gets the pin for Booker. Total squash after the first 20 seconds.

Bubba Claus vs. Tajiri Claus

Oh….why not. Tajiri knocks him to the floor and hits an Asai Moonsault. The visuals here are pretty funny and JR says this would be a main event at any arena in the North Pole. I can live with nods to Monsoon. Back in the ring the Bubba Bomb takes Tajiri down and a low blow slows him down even more. The fans of course want tables but they have to settle for a splash/elbow drop from Bubba instead.

Tajiri has lost his hat and Bubba takes his own belt off to whip Tajiri a bit. Bubba misses the middle rope splash as is his custom, which likely had to do with him doing the stereotypical Japanese bow before jumping. The look on Bubba’s face is pretty great. A low dropkick gets two and Tajiri fires off some kicks to take over. He goes up but D-Von crotches him, letting Bubba hit a superplex for no cover. The Dudleys set up What’s Up but Taz runs out and crotches D-Von. The distraction lets Tajiri hit the Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: C. If you were looking for a serious match here, what is wrong with you? This was a fun match and I’m a Tajiri fan so I was digging this no matter what happened in it. On top of that, Bubba’s facials are are always great. Fun match here which is something this dull show needed badly.

Angle says he’ll strip Jericho of the title tonight. Mae Young: “DID SOMEONE SAYS STRIP???” You can figure the rest out for yourself.

We recap the Undertaker vs. the Hardys feud as the team is back together again after fighting for weeks.

Apparently Mae Young has stopped Vince’s party cold and she takes her pants off on stage. Austin comes in and beats up Vince and the Stooges. Patterson winds up looking up between Mae’s legs.

WWF World Title: Chris Jericho vs. Kurt Angle vs. The Rock

It’s a brawl to start with the heels double teaming Rock in the corner. Rock gets in a shot on Angle and avoids a save from Jericho. Angle suplexes Rock down and we head to the floor where the heels take turns ramming Rock into the table. Rock will have none of that and rams them into the table, only to get dropped onto the table chest first. A charging Angle is sent into the steps and Jericho is clotheslined down as Rock takes over again.

Back inside a spinwheel kick gets two for the champ but the Lionsault hits knees. Angle comes back in and pounds away on Rock, who backdrops Jericho to the floor. A Samoan Drop puts Angle down for two but Jericho makes the save. Rock hits a double clothesline to put both guys down but he can’t follow up. The Great One gets up first and punches both guys time after time to fire up the crowd.

Angle finally gets in a shot to the back but Rock whips Kurt into Jericho on the apron. Rock drops a leg on Angle and puts on the Scorpion. Jericho tries to make a save but walks into the spinebuster and the Elbow for two. Angle puts the ankle lock on Rock but Jericho dropkicks Kurt to break it up, starting a fight between the two. The American hits a German on the Canadian but Jericho rolls through into the Walls.

Angle escapes and puts on the ankle lock, only to have Rock take his head off. Jericho’s forearm hits the referee and Rock puts the champ in the Walls, making him tap to no referee. The hold is released and Angle clocks Jericho with a chair by mistake. Rock Bottom takes Angle down but there’s STILL no referee. Angle DDT’s Rock on the chair but Jericho steals the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. This was a good match but the problem with it is that there was no way the title was changing tonight. This would have torn the roof off the place at a house show and the live crowd was probably getting into things, but at the end of the day there was no chance Rock was winning the title here and I think most of the people knew it.

Overall Rating: D. Nothing to see here other than a main event which is just above average at best. Other than that, this is a throwaway show if there ever has been one. Then again, it’s Christmas Eve so it’s not like anyone was watching. I don’t think I watched this one live which says a lot for me. Nothing to see here and next week is a Best of 2001 show which won’t offer much, meaning this is pretty much the end of the year.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

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Monday Night Raw – December 23, 2013: A 400lb Wig Splitter Fights To Save Christmas!

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 23, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Tonight is the taped Christmas special featuring the potentially amazing Damien Sandow vs. Mark Henry battle to save Christmas. Again, it’s the 400lb monster who talks about splitting wigs fighting a Latin speaking know it all to prevent Christmas from being canceled. There is no way this won’t be awesome. Let’s get to it.

We open with Santa Henry and Damien Claus taking turns reading their own versions of the WWE Night Before Christmas. Henry’s reindeer: Stone Cold, Hitman and Sexy. Sandow’s: Mountie, Blassie and Irwin R. Schyster.

The Christmas set looks awesome with presents, trees and even snow falling in the arena.

Here’s the Authority in Santa hats with Kane handing out Christmas candy. They even have an elf in a suit. Stephanie and Hunter talk about how important it is to give back around this time of year and hype up the Battle of the Santas. We’re also getting the Rhodes Brothers/Bryan vs. the Wyatt Family plus Shield vs. Langston/Punk/Cena. I’m sold. HHH starts to leave but Orton interrupts him, still with both belts but he puts the WHC under the WWE Title for his promo.

He’s thankful for the Authority having his back lately and wants to give them a gift in return. Their gift is one of a kind and comes wrapped in a golden bow: the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. He thanks them for the night off and we get a group hug. Orton goes to leave and Kane quotes the end of Twas the Night Before Christmas and hits the post fire.

Vickie Guerrero/Tamina Snuka/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn vs. Total Divas

AJ is on commentary wearing a Grinch shirt while everyone else is in a holiday outfit of some kind. Everyone tags in and out quickly so fast that I can’t keep up with them. Naomi hits a nice hurricanrana on Alicia before it’s back to Cameron for a double suplex. We get some stripper dancing and a double splits legdrop before it’s back to I think Nikki for some clotheslines.

Fox grabs a northern lights suplex into a perfect bridge for two before it’s off to Vickie. Guerrero immediately runs away from Nikki and it’s off to Aksana vs. Natalya. Everything quickly breaks down and the Total Divas do what is either a creative or ridiculous crack the whip with each one hitting a clothesline. Natalya Sharpshooters Aksana for the win at 3:49.

Rating: N/A. This was nothing resembling a match and the outfits weren’t even all that sexy. The crack the whip sequence (it started with Natalya hitting a clothesline before she locked arms with Brie who hit a clothesline and went on until it was all six) gets stupider every time I think about it. They’re booking themselves into a corner with the Total Divas as AJ is just so much better than they are but someone is going to have to take the title eventually.

Curtis Axel vs. Sin Cara

Cara cuts a quick promo wishing us a Merry Christmas before the match. There’s another thing he has up on Mistico. Curtis gets in a few quick shots to start but a headscissors puts him on the floor. Axel slams him onto the apron and into the post to take over. We head inside for a front facelock as JBL compares Cara to other evil masked men over the years, including Hannibal Lecter and Darth Vader.

Axel rubs the masked face into the mat but Cara makes a comeback by sending Axel to the floor for a nice flip dive. Back inside and Cara gets two off a springboard clothesline and a handspring elbow gets the same. Something resembling a Samoan drop sets up the Swanton for the pin at 5:26.

Result: D. This felt way longer than five and a half minutes. Axel just has nothing special about him and a complete lack of character doesn’t help him at all. It’s time to repackage the guy and let him do ANYTHING else to get over again. Hunico on the other hand is thriving in this role and is everything WWE was hoping Mistico would have been.

We recap the handicap tag from Smackdown with Cena and Punk beating Shield by DQ. Langston made the post match save, setting up the six man tonight.

Damien Sandow makes a little girl cry.

Bad News Barrett collected donations for something on the streets earlier….and that’s it. For now I’m assuming.

Video on Bryan vs. the Wyatts, including them injuring Bryan on Smackdown. Bray continues to disturb.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Wyatt Family

Rowan and Cody get things going with Rhodes taking over on the arm. Cody drags him into the corner for a tag off to Goldust who drives in some shoulders. Off to Bryan for a big pop but Rowan throws him around with ease. Back to Goldust who gets to face Harper with the big man sending him into the corner. Goldust grabs a cravate of all things and puts his boot on the top rope for Cody to tag. That’s certainly bizarre.

Bryan comes back in for kicks to Harper’s leg and avoids a big boot in the corner to crotch Harper. Luke gets caught in the Tree of Woe and dropkicks in the face. He bails to the corner and Bryan wants Bray but gets a commercial instead. We come back with Harper putting Cody in a front facelock and Gator Rolling him for good measure. Cody fights back with a running clothesline and tags off to his brother. An atomic drop and kick to the jaw have Harper in trouble and Goldust rains right hands down in the corner.

A middle rope hurricanrana of all things put Harper down but he comes right back with a big boot. Now we get Bray for some hard elbow drops and the upside down look out of the corner. Back to Harper to break up a tag attempt but he quickly tags out to Rowan for a neck crank. We get a claw of all things with Cole asking when was the last time you saw that. The answer would be Friday when Rowan used it on Smackdown, which was taped after this to be fair.

Anyway Goldust comes back with a DDT to Harper and tags in Bryan to speed things up. Daniel fires off the kicks to Rowan and the Swan Dive connects. Instead of covering though Daniel has to go after Bray who leads Bryan right into Rowan. A staredown on the floor takes us to our second break. Back with Bray beating on a helpless Daniel before it’s back to Rowan for some stomping. Daniel finally comes back with a tornado DDT and we get the hot tag to Cody.

A nice springboard missile dropkick puts Harper down and there’s a Disaster Kick to knock Rowan off the apron. The moonsault press gets two and everything breaks down. Bryan takes Wyatt down with a missile dropkick and the FLYING GOAT drops Bray again. Rowan saves his leader but it’s Goldust diving off the apron to take Erick out. Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Harper but Bray makes a blind tag and hits Sister Abigail (complete with a quick kiss to the forehead) for the pin on Cody at 22:28.

Rating: B-. This match flew by in a good way. I’m not wild on the champions losing again but it looks like we’re headed for Wyatts against the Brothers which should be an awesome match if given time. Bray vs. Daniel has a ton of potential and the blowoff match will be great when we get there.

Post match Bray has the Family hold Bryan while he shouts that he can take Daniel’s pain away. The lights go out and come back on to show the Wyatts are at ringside.

Mark Henry makes a child happy.

More of Bad News Barrett collecting donations.

We get a Christmas Carol singing contest. Up first are Xavier Woods and R-Truth with O Holy Night. Woods can actually sing but Truth shouts various lines to screw it up. Next we have Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal who go back and forth on a bad rendition of Jingle Bells. Cole: “Was Jillian busy?” Khali and Santino go last with Deck the Halls. Khali handles the fa-la-la-la-laing and brings home the win for his team. 3MB are sore losers and get beaten up. The good guys wish us a Merry Christmas to end the segment. Stupid filler but it could have been worse.

Fandango vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a Christmas present on a pole match. The present: an Intercontinental Title shot next week. We start with a string of failed climb attempt with Ziggler battling his trunks more than Fandango. Fandango tries a powerbomb out of the corner but gets countered into a Fameasser. Ziggler goes for the present but a hard clothesline sends him into the post and out to the floor. Both guys go for the present but Fandango gets in a kick to the head to hang Ziggler upside down. Dolph fights back to crotch the dancer but gets rammed into the post again, knocking him into the steps. Fandango grabs the present for the win at 4:45.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but that might have been the right idea. The best thing out of all this though: it seems we’re moving away from they’re moving away from the beat the champ to get a title shot style of booking. I have no idea what’s so bad about having someone beat a string of opponents and getting a title shot as a result. Also Ziggler building himself up in the midcard is as good as he can hope for at the moment.

Here are the Prime Time Players with Darren saying we’re in Houston instead of Austin. The fans are all over Darren as Titus says the three things the Players want for Christmas: a win tonight, a title shot, and everyone to join them in the Millions of Dollars dance.

Prime Time Players vs. Usos

Titus shoulder blocks Jey down to start and leapfrogs over him in a nice athletic display. He picks Jey up for a fallaway slam but drops him to the side in a different style move. Off to Darren who gets suplexed down onto Jey for two but walks into an armdrag. Jimmy comes in as the fans chant THIS IS AUSTIN.

We hit the armbar on Young before Jey comes back in with an ax handle to the arm. The arm hold stays on until the fans are nearly silent. Young comes back with a northern lights suplex and a clothesline but Jimmy comes in off a blind tag. A Samoan drop puts Young down and Titus is sent to the floor, allowing Jey (who dons a Rudolph nose) to hit the Superfly Splash on Darren for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: D. This was REALLY dull for most of the match as those arm holds just brought the match to a screeching halt. The face vs. face idea was interesting but the execution didn’t work at all for the most part. I don’t know if they were tired or what but the match didn’t do it for me.

Everyone dances post match.

We get a tale of the tape between good and bad Santa. It’s completely gimmicked complete with sleigh model, gifts they plan to give (Xbox vs. onions) and favorite hobbies (filling stockings vs. throwing snowballs at carolers). This is going to be GREAT.

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa

Sandow of course brings coal to the ring, but more importantly he comes out to Xanta Claus’ theme song. Look him up. Henry opens a present to reveal a toilet and shoves Sandow’s face in the bowl. JBL: “This is like George Bailey vs. Mr. Potter.” Damien gets a present of his own to reveal a fire extinguisher…..which doesn’t work. Henry shoves him down and pulls out the pin (safety first you see) and hoses Damien down. They head up the ramp and Sandow finds a candy kendo stick. He beats Henry down and shoves over a Christmas tree, drawing the most heat of his entire career.

Henry breaks the stick and shoves Sandow down the aisle. Damien grabs a star off the top of a tree which is too much for JBL to take. Henry knocks Sandow into the tree and they head back inside where Sandow still can’t get the extinguisher to work. Mark sprays him down again and hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: A+. A 400lb muscle man just beat a Latin speaking know it all to save Christmas. If you don’t get why this is an A+, you don’t understand entertainment.

Henry shoves Christmas cupcakes in Sandow’s face post match.

Punk is very happy to have Langston and Cena as his partners. Cena wants Langston to knock Reigns’ teeth in and to give Rollins an Attitude Adjustment. Also they need to Ambrose a pillow because he’s going to sleep.

Real Americans vs. Los Matadores

Before the match Colter says more immigrants need to be like Santa: leave the same day they arrive. Also it’s Merry Christmas, not Feliz Navidad. Torito is in white for some reason tonight. Cesaro pounds on I believe Diego to get things going but Diego flips over Antonio’s back and hurricanranas him down. A flying headscissors puts Cesaro down but a middle rope hurricanrana is caught in the Cesaro Swing. This might be the longest one ever, going over thirty seconds.

Diego rolls to the floor and we get a switch, allowing Fernando to get a small package for two. The third blind tag of the night brings Diego back in for a top rope cannonball and a near fall. Diego goes up top as Cesaro sends Fernando into the barricade. Torito gores Cesaro and Diego pins Swagger with a high cross body at 3:25.

Rating: D-. Dang it why do these things have to be long enough to rate? I’d like to reiterate that Los Matadores and Torito simply are not funny. I know they’re not aimed at my age bracket, but I do not find them funny in the slightest. The match was there for the Swing and Gore spots and that’s not enough to carry something like this.

We recap the handicap match from Smackdown again.

Kofi Kingston vs. Ryback

Ryback shoves Kofi down to start but gets caught by a forearm to the face. A dropkick sends Ryback to the corner and out to the floor, allowing Kofi to hit a HUGE flip dive. Ryback barely caught him but Kingston appears to be ok. Back in and Kofi hits a hard clothesline to send him back to the floor and take over.

Ryback chops him against the ropes and puts on a bearhug. Kofi’s cross body is countered into a suplex in a nice move but Ryback’s middle rope splash lands on boots. Kofi comes back with a middle rope dropkick and the Boom Drop, followed by a nice springboard cross body for two. Ryback shrugs it off and drops Kofi face first onto the buckle. There’s the Meat Hook and Kofi is Shell Shocked for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C-. Not a bad power vs. speed match here but again it doesn’t have time to go anywhere. Ryback getting a clean win is a good sign for him and as always, Kofi loses nothing by getting pinned. There’s still money in Ryback if he’s used properly, but WWE seems incapable of pulling that off.

Bad News Barrett’s bad news: he’s keeping the money.

Shield says Punk needs help because he’s in pain. Rollins talks about how many times Cena and Punk have tried this before and they know the result. Reigns says Langston is in the deep end of the pool now. Believe in the Shield.

John Cena/Big E. Langston/CM Punk vs. Shield

Cena and Rollins get things started with Seth’s speed not being able to do anything of note on the power guy. Cena shoulder blocks Rollins down and it’s off to Reigns for the big showdown. Right hands have Reigns staggered but he hits a Samoan drop to gain control as we take our last break. Back with Rollins scoring with a knee for two on Cena before bringing Ambrose back in.

Dean hooks a sleeper to get the crowd into things a bit. Cena cuts out the middle man by walking over to the corner and tagging Punk while still in the hold. Smart man that Cena. Punk comes in to clean house with the swining neckbreaker and knee in the corner to Ambrose. A Reigns distraction breaks up the Macho Elbow however and Ambrose suplexes Punk on the floor.

Back in and we get Shield cutting the ring off because old school tag team wrestling isn’t dead. Reigns drops Punk with a knee to the ribs and smirks over to the good guys in the corner. I love little stuff like that. We get a bearhug on Punk followed by a chinlock from Reigns but he comes back with a belly to back suplex. Dean comes in without a tag to knock Cena to the floor and Reigns hits him with something the camera missed.

Punk finally breaks free and makes the hot tag so Langston can clean house. He doesn’t get to fight Reigns though as everything breaks down and Reigns spears Cena down. The Big Ending looks to finish Ambrose but his partners make the save, drawing a weak DQ at 16:00.

Rating: C. This was just there to send the fans home happy and it worked well enough. Langston vs. Reigns has the potential to be something very special but more importantly they’ve both been protected. It’s so rare anymore to see guys actually get built up with few blemishes and the payoff will be sweet.

Ambrose and Rollins get an AA and GTS respectively, followed by all three good guys’ musics playing to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very laid back and entertaining show but it overstayed its welcome a bit. The lesson to be learned here is that it’s nice to have some time between PPVs where you can just have a throwaway show like this which doesn’t mean much of anything long term. Having everything be serious all the time gets old fast so it was nice to mix things up a bit here. We got some decent matches and a fun Christmas match and that’s all you can ask for on a show like this.

Results

Total Divas b. Vickie Guerrero/Tamina Snuka/Aksana/Alicia Fox/Summer Rae/Kaitlyn – Sharpshooter to Aksana

Sin Cara b. Curtis Axel – Swanton Bomb

Wyatt Family b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Daniel Bryan – Sister Abigail to Rhodes

Fandango b. Dolph Ziggler – Fandango pulled down the present

Good Santa b. Bad Santa – World’s Strongest Slam

Ryback b. Kofi Kingston – SHell Shock

CM Punk/John Cena/Big E. Langston b. Shield via DQ when Shield triple teamed Langston

 

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