Thank you all for picking up my e-books. In August my sales were higher than I had ever expected them to be and then in October they were 20% higher than that. They’re already selling well this month and every time I check the figures I shake my head. Thank you all for taking a chance on my stuff and I’ll be putting more of them out as long as you guys want them. Hopefully there should be a new one out by the end of the month.

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History of the WWE Championship
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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 31, 2011
Location: Philips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
Guest Stars; The Muppets

I’m not going to lie: I’m a diehard Muppets fan. I’m going to absolutely lose it when they come out and I don’t care who knows about it. As for the show, I really don’t care as it’s going to pale in comparison to all of the stuff with them. Henry vs. Punk is happening tonight and if Punk wins, he gets the shot at Del Rio in New York. Let’s get to it.

We open with Rock on satellite from earlier today. This is his response to Cena’s request for Rock to be his tag partner. Rock is pretty calm here. He says they both represent a generation and Rock (with some gray in his beard) says no. Why would he join up with the Fruit Loop Troop when Cena has been going after Rock for years?

However, the people started talking about how Rock had to do this. With that, he listened to the people and in that sense, Cena’s wish is coming true and at Survivor Series they’ll be a team for one night only. Also though, Rock is doing this so that Cena can witness what is waiting for him at Wrestlemania. The match is on.

Cena vs. Miz later.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry

We get some exclusive footage from Vengeance, which is just the ring collapsing. They showed this on Smackdown ads last week but it’s called “never before seen”. So they don’t even watch Raw anymore? Before the match starts here’s Johnny Ace who says that if Punk can beat Henry he gets the shot at Del Rio. They probably needed to tell the live crowd that.

Punk tries to fight down the monster but gets caught in a powerslam for two. Punk sends him into the corner and hits a slingshot clothesline and the Macho Elbow for two. Alberto and Ricardo come down with Alberto giving Ricardo some specific instructions. Ricardo comes in and attacks Henry who shoves him off. That isn’t a DQ so Ricardo comes in with a shoe and that’s enough for the DQ at 2:35. That fits in the story so I can’t complain here.

Punk beats on Ricardo a bit and throws him in for the Slam.

THE MUPPETS ARE NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In two weeks, it’s the return of Rock to Raw. What is this, his third return special in 9 months?

HERE THEY ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s Kermit and Miss Piggy and I can’t stop smiling. They come up from behind a stage and are kind of cheered. Piggy calls herself the original Diva and that brings out Vickie and Dolph. Swagger says it ain’t easy being a plate of frog legs and a ham sandwich. Kermit tries to play peacemaker and says they don’t want trouble from Swagger and his mother. Piggy and Vickie get into a shoving match and here’s Santino to a pop. He announces himself vs. Swagger later but Swagger closes Kermit’s mouth for him. Kermit faints from a lack of air. Santino says there will be no Dolph in Jack’s corner tonight because he has to face Ryder. Kermit and Piggy say WOO WOO WOO You Know It.

Here’s Kelly for no apparent reason in….some kind of costume. She has a cowboy had and a sword. Kelly kisses Kermit and Piggy is MAD. There’s a Divas costume battle royal next.

Battle Royal

They’re all in costumes and I’m not going to list off what they’re all in. Eve is Robin, the Bellas rule all as Mario and Luigi. AJ is a chick from Mortal Kombat. The match of course is junk as are most battle royals. Natalya is in there as….some kind of queen I guess. Kaitlyn is Dog the Bounty Hunter and is out.

We’re down to Nattie, Kelly, the Bellas and Eve. Eve beats up both Bellas and Alicia is in this still too. There go the twins after a Stinkface from Kelly. Natalya tries a cover out of instinct which Beth got on Eve for earlier. There goes Alicia as well as Kelly, but Eve dumps Nattie for the win at 2:45. She’s #1 contender now.

The good chicks stand down the evil ones and the bad ones leave.

OFF TO MUPPET LABS!!! Bunsen Honeydew has a potion for Santino and sends Beaker after him. Beaky runs into Christian instead and the Canadian steals the potion, pouring it out. Sheamus pops up behind Beaker who now has his head stuck inside his shirt. Christian leaves and Sheamus fixes Beaker. Beaker talks to Sheamus…..who says he can’t make the family reunion, but tell Aunt Teresa he says high. Sheamus fixes Beaker’s hair to look like his.

Air Boom vs. Cody Rhodes/Wade Barrett

The bell rings after a break. Bourne vs. Rhodes starts us off but it’s off to Kofi about ten seconds in. Kofi hits kind of a spinning pendulum kick in the corner but gets taken down by Rhodes kicking the rope on a springboard. Off to Barrett (in dark gray instead of black) who hits a Bossman Slam and then a chinlock. Barrett actually throws some punches and it’s back to Kofi. Kofi is beaten on for a bit until it’s a hot tag to Bourne. He speeds things way up and counters Wasteland into a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and Kofi is sent to the floor. Bourne gets caught in Wasteland and we’re done at 5:22.

Rating: C-. I don’t get that at all. What is the point in having the champions lose clean again to a thrown together heel combination? The match wasn’t horrible, but why did they need to lose twice like that? I don’t understand at all and it’s book like this that makes the tag division and champions in general look weak.

Post match Christian comes out for some reason to help beat down Kofi but Sheamus makes the save and kicks Cody’s head off.

STATLER AND WALDORF ARE IN THE BALCONY!!!! Statler does the WHAT chant to annoy Waldorf.

Punk comes in to see Ace, who he makes fun of. Ace says Punk can have the title match, if he can convince Alberto to give him one.

Brodus Clay is here next week.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Big Show

Show pounds away in the corner and Del Rio is in trouble early on. It’s domination for the first few minutes with Del Rio only managing a few kicks to the legs. Show misses a charge but hits a clothesline to keep his momentum. Alberto grabs a sleeper which shifts into a chinlock. Show breaks it up and we head to the floor where Show pounds away on him. The bald one misses a charge into the barricade and Del Rio misses an enziguri which is sold anyway.

Alberto hooks a front facelock back in the ring but Show throws him off with relative ease. Both guys are down now. For some reason, Del Rio wants to slug it out with Show as they’re on their knees. Somehow Show is knocked down for two but he easily shoves out of it. Shoe sends him to the floor again and we take a break. Back with Del Rio working on the leg as this is needing to end soon. Speaking of that, Del Rio is sent to the floor and when he comes back in, he walks into the punch for the pin clean at 14:00. Another champion loses.

Rating: C-. The psychology was there for the most part but parts of this were way boring. Show is a guy you have to wrestle a certain way which I think Alberto did here for the most part. Not a bad match, but it needed to have about three and a half minutes cut out of it for the match to work.

Post match here’s Punk while Del Rio is still out cold. He pours water on Del Rio to take him up. Punk wants a clean answer and says before he gets that answer, Punk is going to put on the Anaconda Vice. There’s the hold and Del Rio agrees to the match. His mic goes out again but Punk shouts into the other one that HE SAID YES.

FOZZIE AND GONZO ARE IN THE BACK!!! They talk about how big the guys are and Gonzo says he could be a champion if he tried. Team Vickie comes up and pulls Gonzo’s arms through his shirt to tie him up, saying stay out of Ziggler’s match later. Gonzo is cool with it and Fozzie isn’t sure what to say.

Muppet Movie promo. Oh yes.

Animal is the guest time keeper for the next match. He’s as crazy looking as ever.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

Swagger beats him down quickly and does pushups on Santino’s back. The fans want Ryder. Swagger grabs the ankle lock but Santino rolls through it. Here’s Beaker with the energy drink to give to Santino. He winds up spitting it into Swagger’s face for the rollup pin at 2:37. Harmless fun.

Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is non-title. Basic start with a missile dropkick missing and we head to the floor. Dolph is put down and we take a break. Back with Ziggler in control, working on the neck. A neckbreaker puts Ryder down and Dolph nips up. Ryder catches him in a slingshot and they slug it out. A flapjack puts Ziggler down and here’s the Broski Boot for two.

Ryder gets a double knee to Ziggler’s chest in the corner for the pin but Ziggler’s foot was on the rope. The bell rings but it gets waved off due to the feet. Zack chases him around the ring but Vickie interferes. A superkick puts Ryder down but he avoids the Zig Zag. The Rough Ryder pins Ziggler clean at 8:54.

Rating: C. Do they know if they want Ryder or Ryan to take the title off Ziggler yet? It’s really unclear at times but maybe that’s the point. You do have to give them credit for giving Ryder a push due to his crowd reactions lately. Not a horrible match, but they need to either have him win the title or move him on to something else.

We recap HHH/Nash from last week. It’s 10:47 and we have Miz vs. Cena and Cole’s Challenge to go. Doesn’t Nash have a contract already? Why would he need another one? HHH will be out five weeks and Nash has been re-signed.

Cole gets on the announce table and says Ross isn’t here tonight due to something regarding his bowels. Yeah yeah here we go again. Adult diaper jokes are made and the Challenge is moved to next week due to having too much on the show I guess.

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Cole but the laugh isn’t quite right.

Miss Piggy is rubbing Morrison’s abs and Morrison isn’t sure what to make of this. She hits on him but Morrison says he has a friend for her. It’s Horny, who now has a Piggy tattoo on his ankle. He kisses her but gets karate chopped for his efforts. Kermit comes up and Horny is in love. Cody comes in and bags Kermit. SOMEBODY SHOOT THAT MAN!!!

So yeah, no Cole vs. Ross tonight despite it being pushed harder than anything most of the week.

John Cena vs. The Miz

Statler and Waldorf make fun of Miz a bit. This has easily been the weakest part of the Muppet part of the show. We go to a break before the bell….at 10:55. The bell rings after 11pm so this is going to be short. Totally basic match so far and we’re over five minutes into it. There’s just nothing to say because they’re flying through it for the sake of time. Miz hits some of his basic stuff until Cena fires back with a big running clothesline which gets two. Cena hits a superplex for two and we head to the floor. A guy in a Scream mask hits Cena and back in the ring….it means nothing as the STF ends this at 9:00.

Rating: C-. Hard to fault them here because they had to rush things and the match didn’t mean much at all. Cena is always good for a quick one though, even though this would have fit better at a house show more than on Raw. For a main event though, especially for a fun show like this, I can’t fault it much.

Post match the Scream guy comes in again and takes an AA. It’s Truth.

Overall Rating: B. Ok now that’s likely high because of the Muppet involvement but they’re my reviews so who cares? The Muppets fall squarely under the category of “if you don’t like this at least a tiny bit, you have no soul.” This was designed to be a fun show and that’s exactly what it was. Rock/Cena was officially set up, the traditional Survivor Series match was planned and that’s all that needed to happen. The Muppets were fun and that’s all there is to this show.

Results
Mark Henry b. CM Punk via DQ when Ricardo Rodriguez interfered
Eve Torres won a battle royal last eliminating Natalya
Wade Barrett/Cody Rhodes b. Air Boom – Wasteland to Bourne
Big Show b. Alberto Del Rio – WMD
Santino Marella b. Jack Swagger – Rollup
Zack Ryder b. Dolph Ziggler – Rough Ryder
John Cena b. The Miz – STF

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This isn’t something that has me on my toes.Coming out of Raw, it appears that the title feud going forward will be Big Show vs. Randy Orton, with the two fighting at least at Survivor Series.  The idea is supposed to be that Big Show has lost everything, including his home and has nothing left to lose.  However, now he’s right back where he was, challenging for the world title and likely in the main event of a major PPV.  Let’s pause here for a minute and jump back to the 80s, in particular 1984 in Georgia Championship Wrestling.

Around this time, the top feud over the NWA TV Title was between Jake Roberts and Ron Garvin.  Roberts defeated Garvin for the title and Garvin of course wanted a rematch.  For weeks and weeks he begged Roberts for the title shot but Roberts kept saying no.  Finally Roberts agreed if Garvin could come up with $10,000.  Garvin didn’t have that kind of money so he mortgaged his home and came up with the money.  Ronnie won the title back in an emotional moment and was able to fix his financial situation.

Now compare this to the Big Show story.  We were told that Big Show lost everything, told that HHH bought Big Show’s house and told that Big Show was suspended.  Now Big Show is back, still with music, still coming down the entrance, still with new merchandise, and apparently still fighting at house shows and presumably at Survivor Series.  Where’s the heartache?  Where’s the reason for us to care about him?

The key difference between Big Show and Garvin: we saw Garvin being hurt by the loss and we’ve been told about Big Show being hurt.  Secondly, Big Show lost his house what, a month ago?  He’s been back with nothing to lose and hasn’t once even seemed sad.  There’s no reason to feel his pain and therefore, the story isn’t quite working.  It’s just Big Show saying he’s had problems but having it not change anything at all.  That doesn’t work.

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 26, 1998
Location: Kohl Center, Madison, Wisconsin
Attendance: 10,220
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re another step closer to Survivor Sereis here and hopefully for Vince his month of terror ends. At the moment Austin is still fired so odds are we’re going to get some updates on his career options tonight. Also there’s a chance we’re going to get some of the brackets for the tournament at the PPV. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Vince and company to start and there’s a band setup in front of the Tron. Austin is here apparently and Vince holds him responsible for everything that happened last week. Vince doesn’t like the people and wants to know where they were when Austin was doing all this stuff last week. My guess would be they were here in Madison while Austin and Vince were in Milwaukee but maybe I’m missing something.

Vince goes over the stuff he was made to do last week, including ruining a perfectly good Armani suit. He’ll never forgive Austin for what happened last week. As for the letter that Austin gave him last week, it was a legal document. Austin better take stock of himself before he goes further. Austin pops up on screen and says Vince should take stock in adult diapers.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Steve Blackman

Apparently Chyna has taken a leave of absence from the company until her legal issues with Henry are over. The match is after a break and as we come back, Vince is telling his guys to look into the document that Austin gave him last week. He wants it broken. Blackman kicks Pac down to start and hits a side slam to put him down even longer. Off to the chinlock followed by a flying clothesline by Blackman. This has been a squash so far. Steve Regal comes out for no apparent reason and beats down X-Pac. The Outlaws come out and it’s a big brawl. The match is thrown out and was too short to rate, but it was nothing of note.

Vince is talking to his lawyers again and says they wrote the document so they can break it.

Cole is outside Austin’s locker room and we’ll hear from Austin after the next match.

Darren Drozdov vs. The Rock

I don’t see this being incredibly competitive. Rock is officially in the tournament. He takes Droz into the corner and pops him in the face to take over. Rock and those sideburns are so over it’s unreal. Droz armdrags him down and puts on an armbar, which has to be the highlight of his wrestling career. Sunset flip gets two for Drozdov until Rock realizes he’s The Rock and he’s facing Darren Drozdov. A low blow puts Droz down and they slug it out a bit. A powerslam gets two on Rock but a middle rope shoulder misses. Rock Bottom, Elbow, done.

Rating: D+. See, this is what you NEVER get anymore. This was a match for Rock to get on TV and get a win over a guy that has no business beating him. This doesn’t hurt Droz because he doesn’t mean anything and doesn’t lose anything by getting beaten up by Rock. Also, Droz got in some offense so it wasn’t even a squash. Can you imagine Cena doing this with say Titus O’Neal? Of course not.

Hawk gets left behind again.

Austin has been advised not to say anything tonight. “We” will have a statement later on though.

Vince’s meeting is over. Vince doesn’t get something apparently.

Here are the Outlaws for the celebrity appearance of the week. The band equipment was for Motley Crue who the Outlaws and Pac will perform with. They perform and that’s about it. The only wrestling related thing here is a bodyguard they have named Test.

Vince yells some more, talking about a contract and opportunities.

Kane vs. Gangrel

Kane is in the tournament also. Christian is at ringside and it doesn’t really mean much at all. Kane runs him over and is apparently popular now. Christian’s interference doesn’t do much good as Kane hits the top rope clothesline and the chokeslam gets the pin. Total squash.

Christian dives off the top at Kane but it only staggers him. He and Gangrel can’t do anything to slow Kane down but Edge makes it 3-1 and they get him down. Kane sits up and the group that would become known as the Brood runs.

Cole tells us that after the break, we’ll hear from the McMahon Family.

Here’s Austin who doesn’t know why Vince is so mad at him. He told the cops that the gun was a toy and he told Vince that there wouldn’t be any pain. Austin told Vince he wouldn’t feel anything and he didn’t, so maybe Vince should believe Austin when he says something. Or maybe he shouldn’t. Austin pulls out a paper which he says is a new contract, which guarantees him at least one world title shot. The only way he’s leaving is if he quits, and that isn’t happening.

Here’s Vince with his cronies who yells at Austin and says that Austin is in a match tonight whether he likes it or not. Austin points out what the fans are chanting at Vince which ticks Vince off even more. Vince closes his eyes and hates the way Austin got his contract, however that was. He talks about driving a wedge between something….and here’s Shane in the ring. Vince has no idea what’s going on but Austin hands Shane a mic and seems calm with it.

Shane says he doesn’t listen to Vince anymore and that he’s a stockholder in this company. He hired Austin back to get Vince’s attention. Shane goes into a huge rant about how nothing he ever did was good enough for Vince. It was always about Vince and how to get his ego stroked. Shane was always called Vince’s Boy instead of Shane and he’s sick of it. Shane is a man now and he’s no longer Vince’s Boy. Vince and Shane are both about to cry so Patterson hugs Vince. This was a big moment as this was more or less Shane’s national debut other than being a commentator on Heat.

Post break Shane is leaving and Austin throws him a beer.

Tiger Ali Singh vs. Godfather

Godfather runs him over to start and Singh runs to the floor. He sends Godfather into the barricade but gets his leg sent into the apron. This is much more a fight than a match. Back in and Singh works on the arm a bit but Godfather clotheslines him down. The move that would become the Ho Train hits Singh and but he comes back with a bulldog for one. Godfather dumps him to the floor and Babu gets shoved down. The referee goes down too and it’s thrown out.

Rating: D. For the life of me I do not get what they saw in Singh. The guy just wasn’t anything interesting at all and he was around for a few years. He’s the Million Dollar Man but the Indian version, which isn’t something I care to see at all. This was much more of a brawl than a match which is probably the best thing they could do here.

Oddities vs. Kai En Tai

This is an eight man tag with the Oddities being the ICP teaming with Kurrgan/Golga. Golga starts with I think Funaki, who is blonde here. Teioh comes in and gets crushed along with Funaki in the corner. Taka comes in as well and all three of them combine to get Golga down. Togo joins his partners and all four drop elbows on Golga before it’s off to Kurrgan. Violent J comes in and pounds on Funaki as the embarrassing part of the match begins. Everything breaks down and the Clowns double team Funaki and throw the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D. The crowd popped for the Clowns but they always got on my nerves. They’re fine when they’re doing their JCP thing which is basically a big joke on the idea of wrestling, but when they’re taking up time on Raw to have fun imitating wrestlers, it gets annoying. The match was short though so it wasn’t that terrible.

Shamrock talks about his I Quit match tonight against Austin. He says he quits, and that’s the last time you’ll hear him say that tonight.

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Goldust takes him down with a clothesline to start and pounds away in the corner. He hits a slingshot belly to back suplex for two but Mero gets in a low blow while Jackie offers a distraction. Goldust comes back and hits Shattered Dreams for the quick DQ. Not much here.

Post match here’s Sable to talk to Jackie even more. There’s a challenge for Survivor Series and I guess Jackie accepts.

Mankind is confident that he and Snow can win the titles tonight. They argue over whose prop is dumber.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Al Snow/Mankind

Mankind is in the tournament as well. Snow starts with Gunn and gets press slammed for his troubles. Off to Mankind who waves as he comes in. Road Dogg comes in with a wide variety of punches followed by the shaky knee drop. Snow cheats and I think dances on the apron. After a brief beating on the floor by Snow, Roadie gets sent back into the ring for Mankind’s Shake Rattle and Roll. It’s as ugly as you could imagine it as.

Double arm DDT looks to set up Socko but Billy breaks it up. The challengers fight over Head but no one swings it. Billy and Mankind go to the floor as Snow hits the Snow Plow on Dogg. The challengers argue over whether to use Socko or Head for the pin and it lets Roadie roll Snow up to retain.

Rating: D. This was another boring match in a long running series of them over the last two weeks. The ending was the usual swerve as one team was dominating and the other wound up winning on a fluke. Then again that could be the case for almost every Outlaws match for a long stretch of time.

Post match Henry and D’Lo run in to beat up the Outlaws.

Snow has Socko and Mankind has Head until they trade back.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Austin

This is an I Quit match, so if Austin loses he’s done. Shamrock is in the Tournament too, giving us four of the sixteen entrants. Austin doesn’t have his wrist tape which is a nice touch as he wouldn’t be ready to go here tonight. Shamrock jumps Austin as he gets off the ropes to take over quickly. Austin fights back and finally gets the vest off. Shamrock gets dumped to the floor and it’s time to fight.

Ken gets rammed into the announce table and choked by a cord as Lawler is freaking out. Shamrock comes back and they go into the crowd. That goes nowhere so they head back to the ramp with Shamrock still in control. Back inside and Austin is in trouble, being sent into the corner. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken. There’s the Thesz Press but Brisco trips up Austin and gets beaten up for his efforts. Cue Mankind with the Claw on Shamrock and Austin adds a big chair shot to the head, giving Austin the win by knockout.

Rating: D+. These matches continue to be really dull. The I Quit aspect here was just a way to have Austin seem like he was in danger but it never got close to that at all. Like I’ve been saying with the majority of the matches lately from this time period: there’s not enough here to get me interested and the in ring stuff isn’t working at all for the most part.

The Stooges all get Stunners to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. These shows are suffering from the same problems they’ve been suffering from all year: when Austin and Vince aren’t on the screen, things aren’t all that interesting. Rock is still a work in progress and HHH is out with a knee injury. Other than that, there isn’t much going on here and it makes things less interesting to watch. The matches are just bad on top of that, with Russo being at his peak of insanity and bad endings. This would be the peak that would be made to look like 1986 AWA within a year of course but we’ll get to that later.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 23, 2000
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after No Mercy and the big story is Kurt Angle shocked the world by beating Rock to become the new WWF Champion. Angle has only been around for about a year at this point and is still a goofy character so this was a pretty big surprise. Other than that Austin didn’t quite get his revenge on Rikishi for nearly killing him eleven months prior but you know that’s not over. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Yokozuna. Ignore them incorrectly listing him as a three time world champion.

Here’s a bandaged up Rikishi to open things up. He wants to know where Steve Austin is despite knowing that Austin was arrested for trying to crush Rikishi with a car last night. Rikishi talks about the crime that was committed last night but he’s talking about Rock losing the WWF Title. Rikishi was down there to help Rock and even though they lost the battle last night, they’ll win the war. He asks Rock to come down here to hear what Rikishi has to say so here’s the Brahma Bull.

Rikishi apologizes for last night and that he didn’t mean for Rock to lose the title. Rock says that the two for them have done a lot together over the years, but Rock wants nothing to do with him or his apology. Not that it matters as Rock will be the WWF Champion again on his own, meaning without Rikishi’s help. Rikishi understands that Rock is upset, but he’s starting to hurt the big man’s feelings.

That doesn’t really sway Rock who says Rikishi can wipe himself with his feelings. Rock talks about Rikishi having a stomach ache from eating so many hamburgers and hot dogs and suggests Rikishi leave for good. Rikishi says he’ll be there for Rock whether he likes it or not, so Rock says he has to do what he has to do. A Rock Bottom lays the fat man out.

Trish pitches a Women’s Title match against Lita if it’s under bra and panties rules. Commissioner Mick Foley goes over the rules and accepts the idea.

Women’s Title: Lita vs. Trish Stratus

Lita is defending and remember that this is bra and panties. Lita tackles her down to start and takes it into the corner before this becomes a catfight. This is about two years before Trish was even remotely good in the ring so this isn’t going to be anything more than what you would expect. Trish rips off Lita’s top so Lita does the same to Trish. The champ is about to fall out of her top before suplexing Trish down, hitting the moonsault and completing the stripping to retain.

This brings out the furious Right to Censor to complain about how bad women like Lita and Trish are for America. Steven Richards brings out the newest member of the RTC: Ivory, dressed in something a Puritan would find too conservative. She’s in a white collared blouse and a long black skirt while ranting about the clothing women wear today being too revealing. Trish laughs the ideas off and we’ve got a new monster heel Diva.

Michael Cole is in the back with the new WWF Tag Team Champions, Los Conquistadors. This is a little complicated but I’ll get to the explanation later. Anyway, Edge and Christian come up to them to congratulate them on their win and prove that they’re two different teams. Remember that, as it becomes important later.

Here’s Benoit with something to say. He’s noticed that talent, will and determination are useless. Being the best technical wrestler in the world today doesn’t mean a thing. HHH may have beaten him last night but the only game that won last night was HHH getting help from his wife last night. Starting tonight, things are different because no one and nothing will stop him because his time is now. Prove him wrong.

Chris Benoit vs. Road Dogg

Benoit drives him into the corner to start and stomps Roadie down with ease. A backbreaker gets two but Benoit misses the swan dive, allowing Road Dogg to hit a few left hands. Dean Malenko comes out for a distraction though and the Crossface gets a quick submission. Basically a squash.

Cole tells Rikishi that no one wants him here but he says he’ll be here all night no matter who likes it.

HHH doesn’t like that people thought his era was over. Last night he proved Benoit wrong by showing he’s a better technical wrestler than Benoit is. Coach asks HHH about Stephanie helping Angle win the WWF Title last night but HHH says that’s his own business. However, Angle put Stephanie in harm’s way, so now it’s time for HHH to take it out on Angle.

We get a clip from last night of Austin trying to run over Rikishi and getting arrested last night.

Crash is in charge of the APA’s office while they’re out hurt. Test and Albert come in and kick him out.

Jericho gives a stagehand a Fozzie CD and plugs an upcoming performance on Heat. He turns around and spills his coffee on Kane, saying he hopes he didn’t burn him. You don’t talk about burning Kane and the Canadian is destroyed.

European Champion William Regal is in the ring and calls most of the fans uncivilized. He’s in the capitol of Connecticut which produces more handguns which kill more people than any other stage. Cue Jericho to interrupt, apparently not dead at Kane’s hands. He does have a bad left arm though.

European Title: Chris Jericho vs. William Regal

Jericho gets the mic to insult Regal but decides Willy isn’t worth it and charges in to get us going. The bell rings and Jericho fires off chops followed by a spinwheel kick and a clothesline for two. Regal avoids a charge to send Jericho shoulder first into the post and gets two of his own off a spinning powerbomb. A tiger bomb is countered into a suplex by Jericho but Regal goes after the bad arm to take him down. They slug it out a bit but Regal blocks a clothesline by going after the arm again. Regal loads up a neckbreaker but the not very nice Jericho kicks Regal low. There’s the Lionsault but Kane comes in for the DQ.

Kane lays out Jericho with a chokeslam and lights up the corners of the ring.

T&A (Test and Albert) can’t figure out how the initials for Test and Albert Protection Agency should be spelled.

Stephanie and Angle arrive and are greeted by paparazzi.

Here are Stephanie and Kurt for their first public appearance with the title. Stephanie gives him a long winded (I’m as shocked as you are) intro before confetti and balloons rain from the ceiling. The balloons are popped as Angle talks about how America is falling apart. For most people it’s overcoming poverty but for most people here it’s about overcoming being born in Hartford, like Stephanie has done. Angle brags about winning the gold medal in Atlanta but that wasn’t enough for him. Most people would just give up, but he’s not most people.

Four years later (it was three) he came to the WWF and now he’s proven that he’s the best in this company as well. Two months after he got here, he won the European Title and tourism grew by 38% in Europe. We get an over the top highlight package with Angle narrating. He won the Intercontinental Title two months later, becoming the first Eurocontinental Champion in history. “Well except for D’Lo Brown who doesn’t count.” Then he won King of the Ring, sending sales of crowns and scepters up an amazing 40%.

Last night was the crowning achievement though by winning the WWF Title. Angle’s rookie year really is incredible and I can’t think of a better one in wrestling history. Angle has a poem for us called What Makes A Guy Super Great. He gets about two lines down until Foley interrupts. JR: “THANK GOD!” Mick asks for an ovation for Angle on his title win, but says there’s something he didn’t get last night: a celebratory hug.

Stephanie was unable to give him one due to being unconscious from a Rock Bottom. Mick is one heck of a hugger, so he’d be willing to offer his services. Foley gets all teary eyed and announces Angle’s first title defense……….right here in Hartford, Connecticut….against HHH and the Rock in a triple threat. Awesome segment here with Angle at his very best. Goofy Angle is one of my favorite characters ever and this was some of his best work.

Chyna goes looking for Eddie but finds the two women she caught him in the shower with last week. She shuts the door and a lot of violence can be heard. Chyna leaves and the bodies are shown laid out everywhere. One of those girls is Victoria/Tara.

Too Cool vs. Tazz/Raven

Tazz and Raven formed a short lived ECW tag team around this point because there was nothing else for them to do. Scotty kicks Raven in the face to start and Grandmaster adds a middle rope dropkick to take Bird Boy down again. Tazz walks into a powerslam and Raven is kicked out to the floor. The distraction lets Tazz suplex Grandmaster down and the heels take over.

Raven bulldogs him down for two and it’s already back to Tazz as the announcers ignore the match to talk about a cookbook. Raven jumps into a boot to the face and it’s off to Scotty to speed things up. A superkick gets two on Tazz and everything breaks down. Raven accidentally hits Tazz and Grandmaster hits Raven with the guillotine legdrop. Tazz makes the save and Raven returns the favor by breaking up Worm with a DDT to Scotty for the pin.

Rating: D. Just a match here really and as basic as you could ever get. Just throwing people together into a team because they used to work for another company doesn’t really work that well. They wouldn’t o anywhere as a team as there’s just nothing interesting about them together.

Christian isn’t sure which glasses to wear in the match tonight. Pete Gas from the Mean Street Posse of all people comes in and asks to see Edge.

After a break Edge comes back into his dressing room and finds the place wrecked and Christian put through a table. Apparently the Dudleys attacked him and injured his shoulder. Edge says it’s just Los Conquistadors so he’ll win the titles himself.

Billy Gunn vs. Val Venis

Chyna is with Billy here so Eddie comes out before the match. Billy stops her from killing him, allowing Val to jump the Gunn (I’m here all week) and get things going early. A knee drop gets two for Venis and he peppers Billy with forearms. Billy grabs a quickly broken sleeper but gets countered into a blue thunder bomb for two. They clothesline each other down before Billy hits a Stinger Splash and a Jackhammer, only to have Steven Richards break up a Fameasser. Richards is pulled in for a bit but the Fameasser hits for the pin anyway.

Rating: D. Why Billy Gunn kept getting pushed is beyond me. He was athletic but there are some people that just don’t work as a singles guy. Billy just didn’t have it, but I’d be curious to know how much of that is because of his nickname. You can only get so far with his name and gimmick and he crashed into that ceiling far before this.

Stephanie isn’t sure whose corner she should be in tonight. She asks HHH what he wants but he says he just wants her safe.

Video on Jerry Lawler at Las Vegas Outlaws cheerleader tryouts. I think you can figure this one out.

Tag Titles: Edge vs. Los Conquistadors

Edge looks confused as the champions come to the ring. We’ll say Uno starts but is easily punched down. Uno grabs a quick small package for two and Edge is furious. Los Conquistadors both come in and hit Poetry in Motion as the fans suddenly get it. A Twist of Fate and the Swaton connect for the pin to retain the titles.

Post match the champions of course unmask as the Hardys. Cue Mick Foley to wonder how the Hardys can be the Conquistdors when they wrestled the Conquistadors last night. Foley has some footage from earlier which shows Edge and Christian admitting they were in the Conquistadors costumes last night. The problem with that is Edge and Christian weren’t allowed to challenge for the tag titles, but since they fooled him, the tag title change from last night stands. Unfortunately for Edge and Christian, tonight’s title change (there was a change?) stands as well, meaning the Hardys are YOUR Tag Team Champions.

Rikishi tells Cole to tell Rock that he’s helping him get the title back.

WWF Title: The Rock vs. HHH vs. Kurt Angle

Stephanie is in the back with Kurt and tells him to wait before going to the ring since he’s the champ. He finally gets in and the challengers both deck him in the face for making them wait. Kurt clotheslines HHH down but celebrates too long, allowing Rock to drop him with a clothesline of his own. HHH is knocked to the floor and Kurt pounds away on Rock in the corner while he has a chance. Rock comes back with a quick Samoan drop but HHH dives in for the save.

Now it’s Rock being sent to the floor to give us another mini-match. HHH stomps the champion down in the corner and gets two of his own off a neckbreaker. Angle comes back with a gorgeous German suplex but Rock pulls him out to the floor. Everyone goes outside and Rock and HHH get into a contest to see who can slam Kurt head first into the announce table the hardest. Stephanie tries to break it up so Rock stares her down, causing HHH to get in Rock’s face. Angle has the ring bell but Rock ducks and HHH gets blasted in the side of the head instead.

That leaves Rock vs. Kurt in the ring for a bit with Rock hitting a DDT but the referee is checking on the Game. Kurt suplexes Rock down for the same result as a stretcher is brought out for HHH. Angle hits the Olympic Slam out of nowhere and Hebner FINALLY slides back in to count two. HHH gets off the stretcher and stumbles back to the ring for a quick Pedigree on Kurt. Rock saves and clotheslines HHH down before hitting a Rock Bottom on the champion. This time it’s HHH with the save but Angle breaks up a Pedigree with a belt shot to the face. Rikishi comes out to beat up Angle and that’s a DQ somehow.

Rating: C+. This picked up at the halfway point but why did we have a DQ when Rikishi came in but not for a bell or title shot to HHH’s head? Either way, good stuff here as Angle fits this role perfectly: the guy who isn’t all there at times but can be a killer in the ring. Good stuff here.

Post match here’s Austin to go after Rikishi. He clotheslines Angle on the way down the ramp before pounding away on Rikishi, only to have Kurt come back in to go after Austin for the clothesline. I like that as it’s better than just having Angle come in for no apparent reason. Rikishi escapes and a Stunner to Angle ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The key difference between today’s shows and this episode is how many different ideas there were back in 2000. You don’t see the same finishes or repetitive matches or the same stories being used over and over again until we get to a PPV to shake things up. There’s an idea to everything going on and instead of using a batch of jobbers over and over again, you get some fresh matches. It makes the show WAY easier to sit through and far more enjoyable as a result.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 21, 2002
Location: Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Oh look: a Raw from 2002. This is I think the twelfth episode I’ve done from this show, and you would think it would be something fun. Instead, it’s the KATIE VICK EPISODE! Yep, this is the show where HHH climbs in a casket and rapes a mannequin, because this is a wrestling show baby! I think that about covers it. It’s the night after No Mercy and HHH is the champion of all that is Raw as the IC Title has been knocked out for the next eight months or so. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Katie Vick story. HHH claims Kane is a murderer, but Kane says it was an accident. This is the night after HHH beat Kane to unify the IC and World Titles but the feud must continue for some reason.

Here’s HHH along with Flair to open the show. HHH talks about how he’s proven the writers wrong when they said he didn’t deserve to be handed the title. He ended the IC Title last night and there’s no one that can do anything about it. HHH calls himself unstoppable and says that he might be the greatest world champion ever. Flair has a video that explains the Katie Vick ordeal. Oh boy. Kane isn’t here yet, but apparently tonight it’s Kane/RVD vs. HHH/Flair. This brings out Hurricane, Kane’s other partner, to beat up HHH and take the tape, but HHH beats Hurricane down and takes it back.

Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Nowitski

Chris takes him down to start and Jeff is getting frustrated, which would be a recurring theme for him for the next few weeks. Jeff sends him to the floor and hits a big flipping dive to take over. Nowitski gets in a shot back inside and gets a few two counts. Hardy comes back with a Thesz Press and actually uses it as a pinning combination. Nowitski chokes away in the corner and gets two off a rolling side cradle.

A gutbuster gets another two on Hardy and this match isn’t going anywhere. Jeff fires away but walks into a hot shot for two. A spinning double underhook slam gets two for Chris and here comes Jeff’s real comeback. He fires away with right hands and a jawbreaker but Chris moves before the Swanton launches. Chris brings in a chair but Al Snow comes in to break it up. The chair winds up hitting Chris in the head but Snow pulls Nowitski away from the Swanton. It hits the chair and Chris steals the pin.

Rating: D. This just kept going. Nowitski was a great base for a character but he never got off the ground. The guy just wasn’t that good. He wasn’t especially bad but he just wasn’t that good. This match didn’t work well for the most part and Hardy would start turning heel soon after this, which didn’t work at all.

Eric Bischoff, the GM, is watching Big Show intimidate him recently. Stacy comes in to ask to referee a match tonight. Eric says yeah whatever but not the main event. Stacy leaves and here’s Show. Eric gives Show Jamal, Rico and Rosey tonight.

Snow talks to Dreamer about costing Dreamer a match recently. They have a Singapore cane match tonight. Dreamer leaves and Nowitski comes up. Nowitski doesn’t want/need Al’s help. Ok then.

Lance Storm/William Regal vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley

The winners get a title shot against whoever the champions are now. Apparently it’s Christian/Jericho. Storm runs down American before the match. Spike vs. Storm to start things off with the smaller dude taking over quickly. The fans want tables but other than that things are mostly silent. We’ve lost commentary for some reason and by the time that sentence is finished JR is back.

Off to Bubba who takes Lance down with a neckbreaker but Regal hits Bubba in the back of his recently concussed head to give Storm the advantage. Regal comes in as Kane arrives in the back. Everything breaks down and Spike ranas Storm off the top. Bubba catches the superkick from Storm and hits the Bubba Bomb. Spoke hits the Dudley Dog on Regal for the win and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that was too short to go anywhere of note. Regal and Storm as the Unamericans were a solid team but the gimmick was only going to go so far, especially with Test weighing them down as their third man. Nothing to see here and thankfully D-Von would reunite with Bubba the next month.

Storm kicks Bubba in the head post match and Spike gets hit in the ribs over and over by Regal’s brass knuckles.

Trish is having her picture taken and has to talk to the photographer about her match with Victoria from last night. Jericho and Christian pop up and call Trish a w****. Apparently Jericho thinks Trish wants him. Geez is this some extreme foreshadowing? I really doubt it.

Here’s Eric with something to say. He praises last night’s HIAC match with Brock vs. Taker (it really was good) but he’s going to top it. How is he going to do that? Something called the Elimination Chamber. No word on what that is yet.

Test vs. D’Lo Brown

Stacy is referee so she can wear a revealing outfit. Test looks like an idiot with long hair and short tights. Stacy slaps Brown and rings the bell. Test launches him over with a big backdrop and pounds away in the corner. Brown gets his feet up to block a charge followed by a flying forearm. Brown drops a leg but Stacy interferes again. The Sky High hits but Stacy is tying her shoe instead of counting. The big boot from Test and a fast count give the Canadian the win. Stacy jumps in Test’s arms post match.

Victoria says that she isn’t lying about Trish sleeping her way to the top. Victoria is still insane here. Goldust pops up behind her to make fun of her in a Dustyesque voice. Booker shows up as well to do the same, minus the American Dream part.

Trish Stratus/Booker T/Goldust vs. Victoria/Chris Jericho/Christian

Trish has her full entrance and look down now. Jericho and Christian are tag champions which I think I mentioned earlier. The girls brawl to start and Trish fires off her kicks in the corner. Victoria drop toeholds her onto the bottom rope and it’s off to Christian vs. Trish as the genders don’t have to match here. Booker comes in to make this a bit more fair for Christian. A forearm puts Christian down and a side kick gets two. Victoria and her awesome rack distracts Booker and the Canadians take over.

Off to Jericho who pounds away but gets caught in the spinning sunset flip out of the corner. The fans are way into Booker which is a good sign. It means HHH has someone to beat at Wrestlemania for no other reason than HHH wants to win at Wrestlemania. Back to Christian who takes Booker down so Jericho can hit a top rope knee drop.

A spinebuster takes Jericho down and it’s off to Goldust. He cleans the lower level of the house, hitting a middle rope bulldog for two on Jericho. Trish comes in with a cross body to Jericho and Goldust kisses Victoria. Booker and Christian take each other out and Jericho takes Trish down and finishes her with the Walls of Jericho.

Rating: D+. This started off as ok but boring and evolved into a messy comedy (I think?) match. There was nothing of note going on here which is the problem with Raw at this point: it isn’t terrible but there’s no interest in it at all. The tag titles meant nothing at all at this point and wouldn’t for a very long time. Thankfully we had the Smackdow tag titles established last night and they tore the house down for a long time.

Booker saves Jericho post match.

Terri is at Kane’s door and we cut to HHH who says roll the footage. I’m sure you’ve at least heard of this before. It’s of a funeral home with a date of 1992. Kane (clearly HHH in a Kane mask and t-shirt that wouldn’t be released for another 9 years) comes up to the casket and talks to the dead “body” of Katie Vick. It’s a mannequin if that’s not coming through. Kane (it’s HHH the entire segment so don’t get confused. I know this segment can make you stupid but hang with me here) says that if Katie had let him touch her in the car, this wouldn’t have happened.

The idea is that Kane was driving and crashed, killing Katie. Katie “talks” to Kane, saying that apparently now that she’s dead she wants Kane. Kane talks about getting excited watching Katie cheerlead and he fondles her chest which is mosaiced. This is supposed to be something like a hidden video of a sex tape. Kane takes his shirt off and starts undressing the mannequin. He takes off her underwear and says he loves the smell of formaldehyde in the morning. Kane takes his jeans off and gets in the casket. Sounds are heard and we cut to shots of candles and flowers.

Usually I would give a long winded explanation of how awful this is for wrestling and how terrible it is, but I think the segment speaks for itself: it’s simulated necrophilia. I think that sums it up. When you look at the unemployment figures in this country, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Big Show vs. Rosey/Jamal/Rico

The big guys jump Show to start but he shoves all of them away with ease. The heavies are clotheslined to the floor and Show goes after Rico’s sideburns of doom. JR makes gay references about Rico and Show destroys more people. There’s a chokeslam to Jamal (Umaga) for the pin. Total squash for Show.

Post break Eric announces that Big Show has been traded to Smackdown. He would get the world title the next month over there. After Show leaves, Hurricane arrives (did he leave?) and stands in front of his own car. Ok then.

We get some clips of Shawn getting destroyed after his match with HHH at Summerslam. Shawn is in a wheelchair at The World (WWF New York) and says his rehab is going slowly. The final match he had with HHH can stand on its own merit as not only a great match but a tribute to God. HHH did indeed put him in a wheelchair like he said he would but Shawn vows vengeance and stands up. He’s coming for HHH again.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Rob Van Dam/Kane

The good guys pound away on their respective feud partners (Van Dam beat Flair last night) in the corner and both heels get kicked in the face. Van Dam and Flair start and it’s the cartwheel moonsault to Naitch. A middle rope kick to the face puts him down again as HHH knocks Kane off the apron and it’s the barricade. Van Dan kicks the Game down but Flair breaks up the Five Star.

Van Dam gets sent into the post and seems to have hut his ankle. That gets two back inside as we’re finally into a normal tag team match. JR and King debate necrophilia, which isn’t something I expected I’d have to write. Off to Flair as JR is sounding ticked off. Flair and Van Dam slug it out but it’s off to HHH with the knee to the face. King tries to convince JR that necrophilia is funny but Captain Oklahoma isn’t convinced. HHH puts on the sleeper and Van Dam is in trouble.

The hold is broken and it’s off to Flair. Van Dam superkicks him down and Flair goes up and with JR verbally rolling his eyes, Flair gets slammed down. HHH comes in and beats on Van Dam, but Rob escapes and tags Kane. Never mind as the tag isn’t seen so it’s time to go back to the not interesting match.

Back in and Van Dam takes Flair down and makes the real tag. Kane cleans house as the announcers debate if necrophiliac and Hulkamaniac rhyme. This is what Raw has sunk to people. Van Dam goes up and gets crotched as Kane and HHH fight on the floor. They head up the ramp with HHH being rammed into the set. Van Dam kicks Flair in the face, hits Rolling Thunder and adds the Five Star for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not only was the match not that good, but it was based on necrophilia. I can’t emphasize that enough: this feud is continuing because HHH dressed up like Kane and pretended to have sex with a mannequin representing a corpse. JR sounded legitimately angry in this match and can you blame him at all?

In the back Kane destroys HHH in the back and throws him into various metal objects. Hurricane is standing next to his car with the trunk open. HHH tries a Pedigree but gets catapulted onto the hood of the car. There’s a chokeslam onto the hood and Kane throws HHH into the trunk and slams it shut. Kane sends Hurricane away and says to the trunk, and I quote, “Now I’m going to screw you. The only question is will you still be alive, or will I just wait until you’re dead.” Kane drives away with HHH in the trunk to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Ignoring the white elephant on this show, it wasn’t a good episode. There weren’t any good matches and a lot of the stuff felt like it was there to fill in two hours. The Elimination Chamber was mentioned but after the announcement it was barely mentioned again. This show was based around one of the stupidest stories of all time and it’s even worse than it seemed at the time. It’s in poor taste, it’s not funny, and it makes you embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Terrible show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2001
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 13,936
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We continue on the Road to the Royal Rumble here as this is the final Raw until the show. Austin is of course the hottest thing in the world at this point and is on the verge of winning his record setting third Rumble. Also we’re looking at Angle trying to hold onto the title as he gets ready to face HHH on Sunday. This should be fun though so let’s get to it.

After a brief tribute to Martin Luther King Jr. we’re ready to go. The holiday was around this time remember.

Rock/Taker vs. Kane/Rikishi later tonight.

Hardy Boys/Lita vs. Right to Censor

It’s Ivory, Venis and Richards here. WOW that siren is annoying. Ivory issued a challenge to Chyna on Heat the previous night which would result in Chyna actually losing to her at the Rumble. Val and Jeff start us off here. Jeff of course outmaneuvers Val with ease to take over. Off to Matt and it’s all Team Extreme to start. Spin Cycle (a weird double suplex kind of move) from the Hardys to Val.

Side slam by Richards gets two for Matt. Only the girls in this didn’t wind up in TNA at some point. I’m not sure what that says but I don’t think it’s good. JR and the King get to make fun of the RTC which is a parody of the PTC which was a major thorn in the side of Vince because they didn’t like what was on TV so they talked about it incessantly. Double suplex gets two for Steven.

Matt fights him off and gets a middle rope legdrop for two. Good thing that didn’t happen today or Steven would be buried under the ring. Off to Jeff who cleans house. The fans want Lita and Ivory accidentally tags herself in. Litarana to Val and a spear to Ivory. Ivory tries to run but Chyna throws her back into Lita and a Twist of Fate to end it.

Rating: C+. Formula based but fun match here. Both teams worked pretty fast paced and the RTC didn’t drag this out somehow. Not a great match or anything but for an opener this was fine. Chyna coming out for the save helped a lot as there was limited point to having Lita vs. Ivory. Fun match to start the show.

Chyna accepts the challenge.

Stephanie and HHH arrive.

We get a clip from Smackdown of Austin destroying Edge/Christian and the Dudleys.

Here’s HHH for a little chat. Stephanie looking good in a black leather dress. HHH talks about how he hears the same thing everywhere he goes. Everyone says to him to take care of the Game. HHH says unless he’s provoked he won’t go after Austin tonight. Stephanie says that order will be maintained tonight by Vince, who is here live via satellite.

Vince is surrounded by XFL stuff and has an XFL ball. It launched on my birthday which isn’t one of my prouder moments. If HHH provokes Austin then he loses his title shot. If Austin provokes HHH, he’s out of the Rumble. Vince aged a lot in the last decade as he looks very young here. Tonight it’s Austin/Dudleys vs. Edge/Christian/Angle which should be interesting. Vince has to leave now for a meeting but he has his phone on. Odd way for him to go but whatever.

It’s odd because the segment isn’t over yet. HHH says that Angle is champion because HHH has allowed him to be so. He says he never lost the title (Rock pinned Vince in a6 man to win it) and Angle has never won defended against him due to being busy with Austin. He talks about Kurt’s title reign and how Kurt can bring all the help he wants because HHH will win the title on Sunday anyway.

Here’s Kurt with a rebuttal. Angle is disappointed in Stephanie because she blew it because she picked HHH over him. Speaking of games, Donkey Kong has a better chance of taking the title from Angle than HHH does. He’s the big smelly ape that people actually like. Angle has someone in his corner, which is someone that the McMahons know quite well: Trish. Remember she was sleeping with Vince at the time.

Trish makes innuendo about her sleeping with Vince so Stephanie calls her a w****. That would seem to be accurate in the story. Stephanie makes a spanking match with Jackie vs. Trish. Yeah because that’s such punishment. She can’t wrestle so let’s make her do something where there’s no wrestling required. Long segment, running nearly 10 minutes.

Back and we get a clip of Trish volunteering to get a spanking from Vince on Smackdown to explain things a bit more. HHH isn’t sure how Vince is going to take this. Stephanie needs acting lessons in a fierce way.

Hardcore Title: Test vs. Raven

Well at least they both have good music. Raven brings out his shopping cart full of weapons. Fire extinguisher to the face gives Raven control to start but he walks into a full nelson slam to take him down. Here’s Hardcore Holly as I think you know what’s coming. Blackman comes out too and it’s a big mess. As in a bigger mess than usual if that’s possible.

Raven tries to leave but Test follows him up the ramp. Test picks him up and rams Raven’s face into the WWF.com sign above the entrance. Abandon all hope ye who log on? They go to the back where Regal jumps both of them, allowing Raven to pin Test. No rating of course as this was maybe two minutes. Raven drives off in a waiting car. This might result in Raven’s ninja.

Blackman and Holly make a match for later tonight. Good thing they had a time slot all emptied up and waiting on someone to fill it in isn’t it?

XFL ad makes me laugh.

Here’s Rock to do his usual awesome stuff. We’re six days from the Rumble and Rock has a tag match with Taker vs. Kane/Rikishi. Excuse the Rock for not doing cartwheels and backflips of joy. This is a one night partnership but today is a very special day because it is the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Rock has a dream of his own and that is to win the Rumble. Nice transition there. He emulates I Have A Dream but switches out free at last with whipping in a funny line. Good stuff here although kind of short by his standards.

The Dudleys say that tonight it’s a one night partnership with Austin and after the match is over, they’ll have a Dudleyville Discussion with Austin.

HHH and Stephanie call Vince to talk about Drew Carey wanting to do something at the Rumble. Ah wait that’s not why they’re calling. They’re calling to make Rock happy so Vince changes it to Rock/Kane vs. Taker/Rikishi. Uh, ok?

Some Milwaukee Bucks are here.

Undertaker/Rikishi vs. Rock/Kane

Some odd pairings here. Rikishi is #30 in the Rumble. Tough Enough is coming. It’s now 2011 and it’s on its way back. Kind of ironic isn’t it? Not really but it sounds good and these entrances are taking a long time so I need something to pass the time. Rock vs. Rikishi to start. Rikishi knocks him back into the corner and goes for a Stinkface but Rock hits a big clothesline out of the corner to avoid a bad facial.

Kane tags himself in and Rock isn’t too thrilled with that. Samoan Drop takes Kane down as I continue to wonder what Vince was thinking when he picked Rikishi as the big bad. Kane manages to slam him in an impressive spot. Top rope clothesline takes him down again. How exactly was that hellacious though? I’m not getting that part.

Off to the Deadman now (with a tag most would call a right hand to the jaw) as the Brothers square off….again. Rock returns the favor and tags himself back in to give us the eternally bad pairing of Rock vs. Taker. Taker beats him down and hits Old School. Rock fights back but both guys go down to a double clothesline. Swinging neckbreaker puts Taker down for a second as this is a brawl.

Everything breaks down and Kane clocks Rikishi in the head with the bell. He’s a Samoan. That isn’t supposed to work. Spinebuster takes down the Rock but Kane jumps Rock to wild heat. Taker tries to give Rock the Last Ride but Rock dead weights him or something before the second attempt ends Rock.

Rating: C. This was a main event tag match and not much more. It’s fine in that regard but sweet goodness I don’t get why Rikishi was pushed so hard. Did someone really think that was a good idea? Not bad here but it’s nothing I’m going to remember in about five minutes. At least it built to the Rumble somewhat.

Benoit is bringing a ladder to the arena.

After a break here’s Benoit on top of said ladder. He talks about how awesome Jericho is and what an honor it’ll be to wrestle him in a ladder match. Benoit has made a little video for us called the best of Benoit vs. Jericho. As predicted it’s all Benoit destroying Jericho. Naturally Jericho comes in from the crowd and destroys Benoit.

The Dudleys and Edge/Christian get into it in the back and the Dudleys are left laying, including a Conchairto to D-Von.

HHH and Stephanie talk about Austin not having partners now. Stephanie thinks she should call her dad for….uh…no adequately explored reason.

Hardcore Holly vs. Steve Blackman

Ladies and gentlemen, this is what the world has been waiting for! For no apparent reason this isn’t hardcore. They trade strikes and reversals to start us off. Blackman drapes Holly over the ropes and shoves the referee (Teddy Long) maybe 40 seconds in. Holly with some low blows and it’s still not a DQ. A chair is taken away from him and Blackman goes to get some more stuff. Teddy walks off as I hope this isn’t the referee strike angle. I always hated that thing. Not really even a match.

HHH/Steph call Vince who says if Austin can get some partners he can have replacements. Vince asks about Trish and Stephanie…I think gets on him about it?

Trish Stratus vs. Jacqueline

At least Trish looks great in leather pants that are skin tight. I have no idea how you’re supposed to win this as they both have straps. I’m assuming you win by pinfall. As Trish is about to be whipped here’s Angle for the save. Jackie tries to spank her but only gets her pants down. Her thong-clad hips are slapped by the strap and I guess Jackie wins. This was whatever.

We get a clip of Kai En Tai dancing with Too Cool but then turning heel for no apparent reason.

K-Kwik/Too Cool vs. Kai En Tai/Tazz

Kwik is commonly known as R-Truth. Some odd pairings here to be sure. Tazz cuts a brief promo. Kai En Tai’s dubbing gimmick is something I wasn’t a fan of back in the day but now I find it hysterical. Scotty and Funaki start us off. Too Cool hits a Hart Attack of all things. Taka tries a rana but gets caught in a nice sitout powerbomb by Grandmaster. Tazz surprisingly does the worst of his team as Truth comes in. The Worm hits Tazz but after Funaki interference the Tazmission beats Truth.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here in the slightest. It was a quick six man tag to fill in a spot on the card. Tazz would be face by Mania and I have no interest in the other five guys here. Yeah there really isn’t much else to say about this match is there? Why was this on the card again?

Angle suggest that Trish head back to the hotel and put some salve on her. She was somehow curvier at this point.

Royal Rumble Moment: Too Cool and Rikishi dance in the ring. That was awesome.

HHH and Stephanie conspire evily.

Info for Tough Enough is given. This would result in Maven and Nidia who both meant a grand total of nothing.

We recap the Chyna/Ivory thing from earlier in the night which is an odd time to have this on. Ok then.

Billy Gunn is at WWF New York and they ask him how he feels about Chyna coming back so soon. He’s not sure about it but it’s her call. Oh and he might win the Rumble. That’s hilarious.

Kurt Angle/Edge/Christian vs. Steve Austin/???/???

That’s quite the heel team as they’re all champions at this point. Out of nowhere the APA run in and they’re the partners apparently. Austin and Angle start but Angle tags Christian in almost immediately. Off to Edge and Bradshaw now which goes badly for the Canadian. Double spinebuster to Edge as Farrooq comes in. It’s weird to see Austin beat up Edge. They’re tagging that fast mind you.

Angle vs. Austin now and Austin shockingly BACKFLIPS out of a suplex. Edge and Christian grab some chairs but can’t hit a Conchairto on Austin. The APA chases them off and we’re down to the two stars. Superplex gets two for Austin. HHH comes out to the ramp and Austin stares him down. Low blow by Angle and Kurt takes over. Austin manages to counter an Angle suplex and takes over again.

There’s a belly to belly for Austin’s trouble though as Angle pops those hips like only he can. Angle Slam is blocked as they’re flying through this. Thesz Press and Austin hammers away. Angle goes up but jumps into a Stunner to end it. More or less a one on one match but that’s fine by me.

Rating: C+. WAY fast here and it worked pretty well I thought. This works fine as HHH not getting involved here and having Austin do his dirty work for him was perfectly fine as it kills two birds with one stone for him. The tag team aspect meant nothing for the most part but the match was still incredibly energetic and fun.

HHH comes down to the ring and begs Austin to hit him, offering him the first shot. Austin goes to the floor and gets a chair while HHH screams at him to hit him. Austin walks away and makes the symbol of the title around his waist. HHH calls him a pussy, making him charge back but Angle comes up from behind HHH and gets the Slam but Austin gets a Stunner on him to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well the wrestling was pretty bad, but everything was covered for the Rumble. The PPV was awesome so that helps a lot, but I don’t think anyone actually believed Austin would lose. There were only five matches and everything got some build, but this was pre-Brand Split so there was always Smackdown for more building and the final build. Fun little show, but nothing great or memorable at all.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you’re interested:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 7, 2013
Location: Consol Energy Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Battleground and we’re in the same place we were before with the title picture. Orton vs. Bryan went to a no contest due to interference from Big Show, who finally snapped and went against the regime. This likely sets up Bryan vs. Orton III inside the Cell in just three weeks. Other than that the Rhodes Family got a huge win over the Shield, meaning they very well may get a tag title shot. Let’s get to it.

We open with the recap from last night’s main event.

Here’s a ticked off Stephanie to open the show. She talks about how things went bad last night and how she’s livid as a result. Stephanie demands Big Show get out here right now and immediately starts yelling, saying that Big Show can’t do anything right and last night was the result of way to much stress. He can’t manage his finances, his life, his marriage or anything else.

Show says sorry in less than a half hearted way, sending Stephanie even further over the edge. She goes off about saving his mortgage and owning him and his home so Show asks if he can leave now. Stephanie demands that he beg for forgiveness but Show says no. He knocked Bryan out because she told him to. Stephanie says Show is lying because Brad Maddox gave the other. Show says that Brad is their puppet and calls HHH an SOB. Stephanie slaps him about five times and fires him.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow takes him into the corner tos tart before taking Dolph down into a chinlock. The announcers talk about the opening segment while JBL tries to keep them on topic. Back up and Ziggler is sent throat first into the ropes before Sandow puts on a headscissors. Ziggler is sent to the floor and we take a break. Back with Damien getting two off something we didn’t see and whipping Dolph into the corner a few times. A Russian legsweep sets up the Wind-Up Elbow followed by another chinlock.

Back up and Ziggler is thrown over the top as this is completely one sided so far. Ziggler is sent into the post for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Dolph fights up and sends Damien shoulder first into the post before firing off some awkward looking punches. They head to the floor for even more punches before going inside for right hands to Sandow in the corner. A dropkick gets two for Ziggler but he gets crotched on top for two. Not that it matters as Ziggler hits a quick Fameasser for the pin at 12:18.

Rating: C-. Not a great match at all but it was acceptable and very different from last night’s match. This was more of a squash for the start until we got to the interesting part. Sandow was looking very frustrated after the match which means changes might be in store for him. Also wasn’t he supposed to have a knee injury?

Stephanie yells at Brad Maddox and demands that he go out and apologize for what happened last night.

Bruno Sammartino came out to see the crowd. DURING THE BREAK??? One of the biggest stars of all time is not brought out DURING A BREAK! Lawler led the crowd in singing Happy Birthday to him.

Alicia Fox/Aksana/Rosa Mendes vs. Natalya/Eva Marie/JoJo

This would be Eva and JoJo’s in ring debuts. Natalya runs over Aksana (who seems to have gotten a haircut) to start before it’s off to Eva. It’s clear that neither girl is very comfortable in the ring as the two of them look like they’re trying to remember every scripted spot. Off to the very blonde Rosa who doesn’t do much better, so here’s Alicia to be the ring general. Eva is sent badly into the corner but avoids a knee, allowing for the tag off to Natalya. House is cleaned and a quick Sharpshooter gets the submission from Fox at 3:27.

Rating: D-. When the best thing you can say is neither rookie horribly botched anything, it’s not a good sign. JoJo and Eva are glorified models and everyone knows it, but they’re on a very scripted reality show so they get to be on Monday Night Raw. Nothing to see here and Rosa doesn’t look nearly as good as a blonde.

Before the girls are out of the ring, Maddox comes out to announce Orton vs. Bryan inside the Cell. There’s going to be a guest referee and the fans can vote on which of three Hall of Famers they want for the job. The first option is Booker T, who says vote for him.

Here’s how to download the WWE App. The announcers even say they know we know how to download an app.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

This would be Mahal/McIntyre this week. Diego throws Mahal around to start but gets kicked in the head and it’s off to McIntyre. Drew puts on an armbar but Diego pops up and makes the tag off to Fernando to clean house. Apparently the Real Americans are tweeting about Los Matadores. Thankfully this doesn’t last long with the double Angle Slam pinning McIntyre at 2:20.

Post match Slater chases after Torito and gets beaten up, allowing Torito to hurricanrana him down.

We recap the opening segment again.

Here are Heyman and his guys with something to say. Heyman says he’s the only man that can say he beat Punk on his own with his arms behind his back. Punk may have pinning Ryback last night but he had to cheat to do so. Before Heyman can say anything else, here’s Punk with a rebuttal. Punk doesn’t like being accused of being a cheater but says he’ll beat Ryback at any time he wants. He accepts the rematch offer before it’s even offered and says he’ll do it anytime anywhere. Ryback says that Punk is a bully and offeres him a fight right now, but here’s R-Truth to join Punk with an offer of a tag match.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth/CM Punk

Ryback bails from Punk to start so it’s Axel in first. Curtis is immediately taken down by Punk and it’s off to Truth for some shots of his own. The Heyman guys head to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Axel in trouble from Truth so he brings in Ryback for a bearhug to slow Truth down. Back to Axel for a middle rope ax handle for two followed by some stomping. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Truth is whipped into the corner.

Back to Ryback who rams him into the corner harder than Axel ever could. A slam gets two on Truth and it’s off to an abdominal stretch to stay on the ribs. Truth comes back with a side kick to the face and it’s hot tag Punk to clean house on Axel. There’s the GTS for Curtis and a high kick to Ryback, but it’s back to Truth for the ax kick and the pin on Axel at 12:42.

Rating: C. Basic tag match here which extends one feud which should be extended and keeps another feud going for the sake of keeping it going. Truth vs. Axel has been done already and there’s not need to see them fight again, which is probably why we have to sit through it even more. At least Axel is defending the belt though.

The second candidate for guest referee is Bob Backlund. In his crazy man voice, he says he loves us and we should vote for us because he doesn’t swear. He’s been a good guy in the business but he’s been bad as well, so he doesn’t care who wins the title. If either guy gets out of line, he’ll put them in the crossface chicken wing.

Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton

Orton pounds away to start and sends Kofi into the corner for a quick one count. Randy sends him into the steps and back inside, only to have Kofi send him to the floor in turn. Randy throws him right back outside as we take a break. Back with Orton stomping away and getting two off the backbreaker. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Kofi comes back with a middle rope chop to the head.

Randy punches him into the corner but gets caught in a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Kofi gets two off a high cross body and the SOS gets the same. A springboard cross body is countered into the powerslam from Orton but the Elevated DDT is countered as well. They head to the floor with Kofi being sent into the barricade and the Elevated DDT on the floor knocks Kofi out cold. Back in and the RKO gets the pin at 13:43.

Rating: C. This was fine for the most part with some nice sequences throughout. Kofi is the perfect choice for a match like this as he doesn’t lose anything by getting pinned here. He could lose every match he ever has but will still be a credible guy in the ring. Orton gets a win over a name and looks good in the process so points all around.

Post match here’s Bryan to go after Orton despite having no reason to be furious. Agents and referees break it up.

Vickie yells at someone when Del Rio comes up. He thinks he should be named face of the WWE since he’s the only world champion and all. Del Rio sucks up to her a bit and gives her his scarf before kissing her on the cheek. He leaves and Vickie drops the scarf.

The final candidate is Shawn Michaels. He says that he and HHH are indeed personal friends, but this is about business. Shawn trained Daniel Bryan to wrestle but he wouldn’t let that nor his friendship with HHH sway him. He and Orton don’t like each other so that’s not a factor either. Shawn calls himself H-B-Shizzle, drawing a chant from the fans. He guarantees a new WWE Champion because he wants what’s best for the fans.

Here’s how to download the WWE App for Android.

We recap the opening segment. Again.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Ricardo Rodriguez

RVD is confirmed to be taking time off during the entrances. Non-title of course. Before the match, Vickie says that Alberto’s opponent at HIAC will be……..JOHN CENA? The distraction lets Ricardo get a quick rollup pin at 10 seconds.

Post match Alberto sends Ricardo into the announce table and Pillmanizes his arm.

John Cena tweets about the match which makes it sound official.

Fandango vs. Zack Ryder

Ryder pounds away to start but gets caught in a quick suplex for two. Ryder fights up and hits his usual though before Fandango bails to the floor. Back in and Fandango snaps his neck across the top and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 2:45. Nothing to see here.

Shawn wins the poll by a landslide. Backlund actually got 1/3 of the vote.

Real Americans vs. Santino Marella/Great Khali

Swagger starts with Santino and it’s time to be goofy early on. Santino gets caught in the Real American corner as the fans chant for the bad guys. Cesaro comes in after the Vader Bomb for the double stomp for two. The ice cold tag brings in Khli as the crowd just does not care here. Some chops have Cesaro in trouble but he takes out Khali’s leg and puts on the swing, waking up the crowd immediately. The swing is good for the pin on Khali at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, swing was awesome, those are my entire thoughts on this stupid match.

Post match Horny gets put in the Swing but Santino makes the save with the Cobra.

Breast cancer sucks.

Here’s Miz for MizTV but before he can get the name out it’s Wyatt time. The lights come out and the Family is in the ring but Miz runs after Bray. He gets in a few shots and gets behind Bray who grabs the Family around their necks and leans over to look at Miz.

Brad begs for mercy from Stephanie when HHH comes in. He’ll be at ringside for the main event tonight.

Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Daniel Bryan

HHH comes out to watch the match. Goldust starts with Rollins and spits in his face before firing off right hands. An atomic drop has Rollins in trouble and it’s off to Cody with a springboard missile dropkick for two. Ambrose comes in for some right hands but gets caught by a knee to the face for two. Back to Goldust to stomp away in the corner and get two off something resembling a bulldog.

Cody comes in again with right hands but Dean takes over in the corner. The moonsault press is countered by Dean shoving Cody off the top and out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ambrose talking trash to Cody and choking away a bit. Cody breaks up a belly to back superplex attempt and hits the moonsault press to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Bryan to speed things up with Rollins.

The moonsault in the corner has Seth confused and a German suplex sets up the top rope hurricanrana for two. Everything breaks down and reigns takes the Disaster Kick. A Cactus Clothesline puts cody and Roman on the floor, leaving Daniel and Seth in the ring. The kick the head sets up the YES Lock but Ambrose hits Cody with a chair for the DQ at 11:00.

Scratch that as HHH says it doesn’t end with a DQ, so restart the match as a No DQ match. The brawling continues and it’s a FLYING GOAT to take out Ambrose and Reigns. Orton comes in from the crowd with an RKO on the floor, giving Rollins the pin on Bryan at 12:22 total.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and the ending was kind of confusing. I guess it’s to seem like HHH will rig the booking to his benefit but they could have done the same finish without the switch at the end. The match wasn’t all that great due to a lack of time, but it still worked well enough for a screwy finish.

Post match the beating is on but here’s Big Show (to music) to stalk HHH. Shield guards the boss but Show gets in the ring anyway. They swarm him but are easily tossed away, leaving just HHH vs. Show. Shield pops back up though and beats down Show as HHH takes his jacket off. He throws them off again and KO’s HHH, leaving Bryan to stand over the boss to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but you could see A LOT of filler in this. It’s very clear that HIAC is just Battleground part 2 which is understandable but doesn’t make it interesting. Shawn Michaels as guest referee should help a bit but there’s only so much he can do. Cena returning will help a lot but it’s really early given how bad his arm was. This was a more coherent show, but it still fees like everyone but Bryan is the focus and that’s not good.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Sandow – Fameasser

Natalya/JoJo/Eva Marie b. Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Aksana – Sharpshooter to Fox

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double Angle Slam to McIntyre

CM Punk/R-Truth b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Ax kick to Axel

Randy Orton b. Kofi Kingston – RKO

Fandango b. Zack Ryder – Guillotine legdrop

Real Americans b. Santino Marella/Great Khali – Cesaro Swing to Khali

Shield b. Daniel Bryan/Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Rollins pinned Bryan after an RKO from Randy Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: October 3, 2005
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 14,387
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

Another request and another three hour show. This is the return of Raw to the USA Network which warranted the debut of apparently the first ever three hour Raw spectacular. As for the card, it’s a two match show but they’re two big matches: Edge vs. Matt Hardy in a ladder match and Shawn vs. Kurt in an iron man match. This should be good so let’s get to it.

The copy has comes with the final five minutes of a special aired before this called Raw Comes Home. Yes, there were four hours of the WWE on this Monday. This part is just a highlight reel and Shawn talks about being at the first Raw. They talk about the Manhattan Center. Sean Mooney makes a cameo. They all knew Raw was special. Shawn is proud of being here the whole time. Vince says the Attitude Era is who they really are. And here’s forty seconds to say that the modern stuff is ok too.

Theme song opens us up.

Here’s Foley to get things going. The ring is set up for Piper’s Pit. Foley says he’s come back home. He introduces the host because the host is no ordinary man. Here’s Piper whose gut is rapidly growing. Piper says he thought he was crazy but he has nothing on Foley. Foley jumps off roofs for fun. But them Piper read Foley’s new book Scooter and he hasn’t slept with the light off in four days.

This is Piper’s Pit though and the fans want to know when Foley is coming back to the WWE. Isn’t he here already? Foley says he came back last year and got beaten up so to come back again he needs a good reason. Piper says the people are a good reason. Cue the Ortons and Foley cuts Randy off and says he should be worried about the legend that’s going to take Orton out this Sunday at No Mercy (Undertaker).

Orton says he isn’t here to talk to Foley, but rather Piper. Piper greets him warmly but Orton cuts him off, saying without Papa Orton, there would be no Piper. Orton goes off on him, saying his dad did all the work and Piper got all the glory. Orton shoves him so Piper takes him down. Foley and Bob pull them apart but Bob sucker punches Roddy and RKOs leave the legends laying.

We recap Shawn vs. Angle. Angle won at Mania, Shawn won at Vengeance, tonight is the rubber match.

Teddy and Eric meet in the back and Eric yells about Orton, a Smackdown guy, coming in tonight. Teddy doesn’t know anything about it but Eric wants to know who else is coming from Smackdown.

Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle

This is thirty minute iron man match. A TON of legends are in the front row. Shawn charges in and runs into a suplex/powerslam from Kurt. Shawn chops him in the corner to take over. Swinging neckbreaker takes Kurt down for two and they head to the floor. Angle hammers him in the corner so Shawn hooks a sleeper. A suplex gets him out of it and Kurt pounds him down for a bunch of two counts.

There’s a chinlock but they have a ton of time to work with here. Shawn breaks it with a jawbreaker at five minutes in. Shawn launches him to the floor and Angle flips forward to land on his face. Freaking OW man. Baseball slide misses and Angle hits the Slam on the floor. Angle stomps away at Shawn in the corner but Michaels comes back briefly. Kurt kills him with a buckle bomb for two.

A superplex is countered but Shawn takes too long up there so Kurt runs the corner and hits a top rope Angle Slam for the first fall after 8:10. Back with about 18 minutes to go and Kurt hooks a chinlock. Shawn tries a comeback but charges into the post. German suplex gets two. Angle whips him in hard but another Slam attempt is countered into a sunset flip which is countered into the ankle lock. Shawn counters into a rollup for the tie at just before 15 minutes to go. Or is it 15 minutes in?

Out to the floor and Shawn gets his head rammed into the steps. Back in and it’s a body scissors by Kurt. Shawn bites the head to get out of it and they slug it out. With twelve minutes left Shawn gets a rollup for two which is rolled into an ankle lock. Kurt hooks the grapevine and Shawn has to tap with about 11:15 to go, putting him up 2-1 and we take a break.

Back with Kurt working on the leg at seven and a half minutes left. Shawn hammers away but Kurt takes out the leg again. He slaps Kurt for some reason and hits the forearm (Flying Burrito says JR). Here’s Shawn’s offensive sequence and the elbow hits. Sweet Chin Music ties it up with 4:45 to go.

Four and a half minutes left. Kurt rolls to the floor and the replay shows that the kick looked awesome. Four minutes left. Shawn gets flipped over in the corner and the Angle Slam gets two. With three minutes left, Shawn counters a Slam into a DDT. Both guys are down but Shawn covers for two at two and a half minutes left. Two minutes to go.

Angle rolls through a moonsault press into an ankle lock in a cool counter. 90 seconds left. Shawn tries to kick him off but Kurt grapevines it again and we have a minute left. Shawn rolls over which might help a bit. Thirty to go and a kick to the face breaks the hold. I’ve NEVER seen the grapevine broken. Shawn kicks his head off but it’s too late for the pin as the bell rings.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match here as they kept things moving. These two had fantastic chemistry together and this worked perfectly. The ending is kind of weak and Shawn holding on that long is a BIG stretch, but when 28 minutes are fine, there’s not much more you can ask for. Good stuff and all iron man matches should be 30 minutes.

Shawn wants overtime but Kurt walks.

We run down the card for the rest of the show. Lita looks great in the graphic.

Cena was at some hip hop awards show last week.

Kevin Von Erich is in the front row. Think he’s cheered in Dallas?

Eric comes up to see Vince in the back and tries to get out of the match with Cena tonight. He wants it to be No DQ. Vince says no. Eric goes into Easy E mode and calls him Vince. He goes off, saying this is just to drive Eric crazy so we can have a Self Destruction of Eric Bischoff DVD. He calls Vince sick and Vince says you have no idea.

Lillian reads a prepared statement about Vince and his accomplishments (“He is strong, he is handsome, he is…..well endowed?”). Here’s Vince who says this is like the old days. He remembers February 8, 1998. That was the night he beat up Steve Austin. We get a clip (the date stamp says 99, which is correct) of Austin getting pinned by Vince which is his favorite moment.

Vince talks about another favorite moment and here’s Austin. He says Vince looks nervous and isn’t sure why. Vince made Austin right? Austin remembers things differently so here are some of his clips. First up: Austin as a doctor attacking Vince in the hospital and anally violating him with an IV. The next clip is of Bang 3:16. Finally it’s the beer truck which somehow was named the #1 moment in Raw history.

Vince wants to start all over again with Austin. He only showed one of the 12 clips he had. Austin doesn’t quite buy it and Vince tries to run. Austin flips him off and Stuns him because that’s how things should be with these two. Before Austin leaves here’s the dancing son. And there’s a Stunner for Shane before he can do anything. Austin has another beer and it’s Stephanie to the rescue.

Stephanie yells about some stuff and wants to know who Austin thinks he is. He says Steph is lovely and asks what fragrance she’s wearing. Stephanie accidentally grabs his hand and Austin says he gets it: she’s flirting with him. Maybe she’s like to give old Stone Cold a kiss? She slaps him instead so there’s a Stunner for Stephanie. Now here’s Linda of all people. I don’t see this ending well.

Linda goes off on Austin for what happened. Why did he Stun Vince? “Your husband is a piece of trash.” Shane? “He’s a chip off the old block of trash.” Stephanie? “She’s a beautiful young piece of trash.” Linda wants an apology for the family but Austin say why? It was just three Stunners. Austin apologizes and Linda goes to leave. Austin stops her and asks for a kiss on the cheek. He almost implies sex but he’s talking about having a beer.

Linda drinks…and Austin’s arm goes up against her head and she falls down as Austin does. There wasn’t any contract on the fall so it looked awful, but she’s not a wrestler. You know, Vince has been unconscious for 12 minutes now. Shouldn’t he get a doctor to look at him or something?

After a break, Vince says someone will pay for what Austin did and someone is getting fired. It would somehow wind up being JR, who had to leave for legit medical issues.

Edge vs. Matt Hardy

Winner gets the MITB case, the loser leaves Raw. Lita is looking extra great tonight. Edge jumps Matt as he comes through the entrance and sprints up the ladder. It doesn’t work but it was a nice try. Matt turns the ladder upside down and puts Edge in it. He tries to close it which can’t feel good. Edge finally escapes and sends Matt into the ladder.

Edge suplexes him onto the ladder and goes climbing. Matt makes the save but his climb fails also. Edge puts a ladder on the top rope and Matt is sent face first into it. Here’s ladder #2 but Edge takes too long setting it up. Edge gets rammed into it but Matt gets suplexed onto it. There’s the climb but Matt saves and throws Edge into the ladder on the corner. Edge stumbles backwards to knock Matt’s ladder down as we go to a break.

Back with Edge’s suplex attempt through a table being broken up. Matt rams Edge with another ladder to put him in the crowd. Hardy dives into the crowd and the fans are loving this. Matt goes to powerbomb Lita through the table but Edge saves via a kendo stick show. Edge splashes Matt through the table and this is solid stuff again. Edge slowly climbs but Matt gets back in and hits a Twist of Fate off the ladder.

Lita kendo sticks Matt’s leg to break up his attempt so Matt rams her into the buckle. Matt goes up again but Lita pulls the ladder away so he’s just hanging there. Edge drops him onto the ropes and ties him into them. Lita holds his arms there as well in a crucifix position. Edge easily wins.

Rating: B. I’ve always liked this match. These two had a real life issue which made the matches that much more intense. Matt would go to Smackdown and wouldn’t really do anything for awhile while Edge would win his first world title in about three months by cashing in MITB. Can we just look at Lita in those shorts for a little longer?

Matt leaves with security.

Ashley and Trish get ready for later. They talk trash about their bra and panties handicap match later. Mae Young pops up to offer her services. She then flashes some legends and DiBiase offers to pay her to put her shirt back on. Moolah makes the save. Snuka wants to give her the money for something else. Oh dear.

Maria gets hit on by Flair. Flair, the IC Champion, says this is about the return of HHH.

Carlito/Chris Masters vs. Ric Flair/HHH

This is HHH’s return from the beatings Batista gave him. The former Evolution team is good here and HHH looks a little chubby. It’s a brawl to start with HHH and Flair clearing the ring. Flair and Carlito start us off and it’s chops all around from the partners. We take a break and come back with Carlito stomping Ric. Carlito spits the apple in Flair’s face and puts on the figure four.

Trips comes in to break it up but Carlito keeps up on the knee. He slaps Flair in the face but walks into a HARD chop. Carlito goes up and Flair slams him off for a nice change of pace. Flair Flops and Masters breaks up the tag. Masterlock doesn’t quite go on so Flair hits him low. Double tag brings in Carlito to face HHH and house is cleaned with a high knee for both guys. Now a spinebuster for both guys. HHH goes under the ring and pulls out the hammer. Carlito saves Masters from a shot with it but takes a Pedigree. Flair takes out Masters and it’s over.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here so that Flair and HHH could look dominant. Carlito was never really a guy that never got over and I’m not completely sure what the exact reason was. I don’t know if it was his look of his attitude but it never really clicked. Masters was stuck with a bad gimmick and they would never give him anything different so it’s no wonder he never went anywhere.

Post match HHH and Flair celebrate but HHH turns on him by busting him open with the sledgehammer. He hits Flair again with the hammer and we have a lot of blood. HHH sends him to the floor and beats on him in front of the legends in a nice touch.

During the break HHH kept beating on Flair in the back. It’s still going as we’re live. HHH shouts at him about how Flair is better than anybody and HHH isn’t going to let it keep happening. He yells at all the security to try and do something about it. Now they go to a limo and HHH slaps him. He throws Flair in the limo and then breaks the window with the hammer as it drives away. This would wind up being because HHH thought Flair was a joke and a parody of himself so he did this for his own good. This would result in a very violent old school cage match.

The Legends are all in the ring now. There must be 25 guys in there. I’m not sure Dean Malenko qualifies as a legend but I’ll take what I can get. Dusty talks about how all of them used to have some great times. He wants to talk about Harley Race but here’s Rob Conway who was going after legends around this time, although at a much weaker level than Orton.

Conway asks if this is Homecoming or a nursing home. He says this looks like a funeral and they need to go back to their old folks’ home to make room for the next generation. Dusty goes off on him and says that the Legends built the table Conway eats off of. Conway calls Race fat and that’s enough for the legends. Everyone beats on him and David Von Erich puts him down with the Claw. That of course blows the roof off the place. Snuka even hits the Superfly Splash!

Candace Michelle/Victoria/Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus/Ashley Massaro

The three chicks are eventually going to be known as Vince’s Devils and they come out to what would become Laycool’s music. This is bra and panties rules and Trish is Women’s Champion. The three of them combine to rip Ashley’s top off quickly. Ashley rips Victoria’s top off and it’s time for a chase scene. Trish kicks Victoria’s head off and we head in. Jerry: “Where are the puppies???” JR: “In the same place they always are King.” Everyone but Trish loses their shirt and she strips Victoria. Candace almost loses her underwear and Torrie is stripped to end it. I’m not rating it because I think you get the idea here.

Angle comes up to Eric in the back and asks if Eric is worried about the Smackdown guys. Eric isn’t worried and also says that since Vince left, he’s in charge. Cena vs. Bischoff is now No DQ. It would be an honor to have Kurt be at ringside with him. It’s for the title and Bischoff implies if Angle helps him win the title, Eric will forfeit the title and name Kurt the new champion.

Eddie Guerrero/Christian/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Benoit/Batista/Rey Mysterio

Benoit is US Champion, Batista is World Champion, Teddy Long is in the ring too, Eddie would be dead in about 5 weeks, JBL dances to the ring, and these are all matches on Sunday (Eddie vs. Batista, JBL vs. Mysterio and Benoit was defending the title against Christian, Booker and Orlando Jordan). And there’s no match. The bell rings but Eric comes out and says hold everything. This is Raw, not Smackdown, so cut the lights. Eric cracks up at this and says go to a commercial. This set up Raw vs. Smackdown at Survivor Series.

After a break, here’s Mean Gene to introduce Hulk Hogan. Gene talks about the reality show and all that and asks what’s next. Hulk asks if you can feel the power of Hulkamania here in Dallas. He says he’d love to face Shawn again at any time but I don’t think that ever happened. As for his next challenger, he saw someone out here tonight and the people reacted to him like no one else. The fans chant for Austin and that’s who Hogan means. He wants to know what these people would do if he climbed in the ring with that Rattlesnake Stone Cold Steve Austin. That match would have drawn tens of millions but it never happened.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Eric Bischoff

Angle is here with Bischoff. This was at a period where Batista was the biggest star in the company but Cena was on the rise. At this point, Cena was still pretty much a guy just barely not in over his head. He would grow up a lot over the next six to eight months and become the John Cena that we all know today.

Eric’s kick is countered and remember that it’s No DQ. Cena never takes his eyes off Angle. Angle tries to interfere and Eric gets in some kicks. There’s the Shuffle but Kurt comes in. The Slam is countered but the FU is broken up by a low blow. Angle misses a chair shot and hits himself by mistake. FU ends this clean. This was like two minutes long.

Angle and Cena go at it post match but here’s Teddy to say chill. Teddy says Eric embarrassed Smackdown so here comes the Smackdown guys to beat down Angle and Cena. Raw guys run in and the show ends with Big Show getting in. There’s Survivor Series.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a very different kind of show. It’s like all of the good stuff was at the beginning and then after that everything slows way down and feels a lot less important. The Raw vs. Smackdown stuff was cool but it was a lead for another show. Cena and Eric’s fight was never given a reason and was pretty boring. This show needed much better pacing but the stuff we got at the beginning was quite good.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 30, 2013
Location: Mississippi Coast Coliseum, Biloxi, Mississippi
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the final show before Battleground a mere fifteen days after Night of Champions. If that’s too fast for you, don’t worry because you’ll get another PPV just three weeks after this Sunday. Tonight will probably just firm up stuff for the show on Sunday, but there’s a chance we’ll get new developments in the potential locker room revolt. Let’s get to it.

It’s breast cancer awareness month again, meaning the middle rope is pink and there’s a graphic on the ramp.

Here’s Punk to open things up and we get a clip from Heyman’s scheme last week, leading to Ryback’s beatdown. Punk talks about how things are often unpredictable around here but once in awhile you can guess what’s happening. Take last week for instance: Punk was in his hometown so of course Heyman was going to come after him. Everyone knew Punk would get jumped if he went after Heyman and that’s exactly what happened.

That doesn’t matter though as the story ends with Punk making Axel go to sleep, showing Ryback what happens to bullies, and when Punk gets his hands on Paul Heyman. The story could end at anytime. It could be at Battleground, or it could be right here tonight. Punk isn’t leaving the ring until he gets a fight with one of Heyman’s guys and he gets rid of Heyman for good.

Cue Brad Maddox (Punk: “You don’t even get an entrance song?”) who says this ultimate showdown isn’t best for business. Punk already has his match with Ryback on Sunday so there’s no need to give him another one now. Maddox is willing to give Punk a match here tonight though…..and here’s Big E. Langston for the first time in weeks. Big E. says he’s Punk’s man if Punk wants aggression and the beating is on. Punk is tossed into the corner but he misses a charge into the post and here’s a referee. The bell is after the break.

CM Punk vs. Big E. Langston

Joined in progress with Punk firing off kicks on the floor before sending Langston back inside for a high cross body for one. Big E. escapes the GTS and slams Punk out of the corner for two. A splash to Punk’s back gets the same and it’s off to a half crab from Big E. CM fights up but gets run over by Langston for two more. A nice looking belly to belly suplex puts Punk down again and Langston is getting a little frustrated.

Punk comes back with a high kick for two but gets taken down by a clothesline for the same. A second splash misses though and it’s Punk coming back with his kicks. Langston is taken down with a neckbreaker and there’s the running knee in the corner. There’s the Macho Elbow and the GTS is good for the clean pin at 5:52 shown.

Rating: C. This was decent but just kind of there for the most part. I’m not sure I get the point of bringing Langston back just for a job to Punk, but at least he was in there with a big star instead of having the same match with Ziggler over and over. Langston was kind of lost in the shuffle for the last month and a half so it’s good to at least see him on TV again.

We recap Cody Rhodes being fired.

Kofi Kingston vs. Fandango

Fandango is in a pink shirt, allowing Cole to list off everything he can about the Susan G. Komen Foundation. We also get part of a compilation of 30 Troubles in Paradise from Youtube, because we need to see a Youtube player on screen instead of just showing the video right? Fandango takes Kofi down with a quick suplex and puts on a chinlock as the fans chant overrated. Kofi spins out of a hiptoss and DDTs Fandango down for a breather. Kingston comes back with some double chops but gets sent into the buckle. Fandango goes up but Kofi moves before the legdrop. Trouble in Paradise is good for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: D. Well that happened. The match was only three minutes long and the only move that was interesting at all was the finisher. Fandango has a fun character but he has almost nothing of note in the ring. The long pants still aren’t working for Kofi and if rumors are to be believed, they’re why he isn’t being pushed as hard anymore. Seriously.

Post match here are the Wyatts with Bray sitting on the stage, asking why these things happen to him. He promises to knock everyone down one by one, so follow the buzzards. Creepy as ever.

Ziggler vs. Sandow is the Kickoff match for Sunday.

The Bellas are in the back when Randy Orton (fangirl pop) comes up to offer some sarcastic congratulations to Brie for her engagement to Daniel Bryan. Orton wants to know the date before it needs to be scheduled before Battleground because Daniel won’t be able to make it after then.

Paul Heyman chastises Renee Young for thinking Punk will be taking him out anytime soon. Heyman says Punk was a nobody who because a Paul Heyman guy before becoming WWE Champion but the forgot what made them the best in the world. Renee says that Axel and Ryback can be seen hiding off camera, meaning Heyman must be planning another trap. Heyman says he has a big plan for tonight’s Raw and if Punk wants to do something about it, go ahead and try.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

It’s Mahal and Slater here. Los Matadores are named Fernando and Diego and their graphic says they have a miniature bull with them named El Torito. After an over the top intro sequence with a bunch of flips and waving of red capes, we start with Diego (Primo) throwing Mahal around and into the corner for a tag off to Slater.

Heath is thrown around and backdropped but he shoves I think Fernando into the corner for some double teaming. A knee drop has Fernando in trouble and we hit a quick chinlock. Fernando comes back with a headscissors and it’s back to Diego to clean house. Everything breaks down and something resembling a double Angle Slam takes out Slater at 3:58.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what to say here. I was laughing for most of the match, but it wasn’t what I would call funny. It’s definitely in the “so over the top it’s ok” category as they’re playing it completely for laughs, but at the end of the day it’s still Epico and Primo which doesn’t help them that much. They have potential as a comedy team but nothing more than that.

Here are HHH and Stephanie to address the Rhodes family face to face. Goldust comes out in a suit while still wearing the facepaint. Stephanie congratulates Cody on the wedding and hopes he got the Bed Bath and Beyond gift card. HHH wants to know why they’re staring at him because this is what, the fourth opportunity the family has gotten? Cody failed, Goldust failed and Dusty made it about himself. Is Dusty still upset about not being able to do anything outside of Florida or the NWA (I’d be shocked if more than 5% of the live crowd understood that)?

Stephanie says Dusty has a very important job by training new superstars down in Orlando, meaning the future is in Dusty’s hands. Tonight though, the family’s future is in Stephanie and HHH’s hands. They’d like to give Cody and Goldust a job if they can beat Rollins and Reigns this Sunday at Battleground. If they lose though, neither of them will ever work for WWE again, including Dusty.

Big Dust grabs the mic and says he’ll be in his boys’ corner. Stephanie says you’re on but Dusty sounds like he wants a fight. The bosses leave and here’s Shield for the brawl. Dusty tries to bring in a chair but gets beaten down as well. Cody takes the TripleBomb and the Shield stands tall.

Curtis Axel vs. R-Truth

Non-title. Axel pounds away to start but Truth comes back with kicks to the leg. He rains down right hands in the corner, only to be dropped face first onto the buckle to give the champion control again. A nice dropkick from Axel puts Truth down and we hit the chinlock. Truth fights up and hits the suplex into a Stunner for two but misses a dropkick. Before Axel can follow up, Punk’s music hits and the distraction lets Truth hit the Little Jimmy for the pin at 4:20. No Punk.

Rating: D+. Not horrible here but it was all about the false ending which is getting a bit old as a finish to a match. How many times have you seen someone come out for a distraction and the guy getting beaten up badly loses as a result? Truth isn’t horrible or anything but it was pretty obvious he was going to win because he was there as a pawn in the Punk vs. Heyman stuff.

Trish Stratus has had a son. Cool.

Video on Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan, which is an excuse to show clips from Total Divas.

Alicia Fox vs. Brie Bella

Feeling out process to start with Alicia taking over with some choking. The northern lights suplex gets two on Brie as AJ and Tamina are watching in the back. After a quick headscissors from Alicia, Brie comes back with some running kicks and the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: D+. It’s a Divas match. You do the math here.

Axel is upset but Heyman tells him to calm down. Heyman says Punk is just messing with them but is out of their league. Ryback comes up and says there’s nothing to worry about because they should just give Punk what they want. Heyman tells Ryback to go get something to eat and he’ll come find him in a few minutes. Ryback leaves and Heyman says he sees the world differently since Ryback saved him. Heyman says, and this is a direct quote, that he’s going to go to the ring and propose to Ryback.

We look at Big Show knocking Miz out last week as per Stephanie’s orders.

Big Show, in a suit, says he’s doing ok. We look at a clip from Smackdown with HHH telling Big Show there aren’t many jobs for a guy like him and Big Show nearly knocking HHH out. Show talks about everyone telling him to do the right thing, but that’s easy to say when they’re not in his shoes. How can he pick between his job and his family?

He’s a good person but he has to do evil for the sake of his family. Show rants about having to knock out Dusty Rhodes and now he can’t even look him in the eye. There’s only so much he can take and he’s not going to take it anymore. He’s going to go knock HHH out. Show’s eyes are bugging out and it looks very disturbing.

R-Truth is asking for an Intercontinental Title shot when Big Show comes in and lifts Maddox against the wall, demanding to know where HHH is. Maddox is let down and goes off to find him.

Zack Ryder vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio takes him into the corner before running Ryder over with a shoulder block. Ryder comes back with a clothesline to send Alberto to the floor but misses a plancha to give Del Rio control again. Del Rio pounds away on the floor before heading back inside for a reverse chinlock. There’s the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and it’s back to the chinlock again. Ryder comes back with all of his usual stuff but the Rough Ryder doesn’t connect and Del Rio grabs a German suplex for two. The armbreaker gets the submission at 4:07.

Rating: D+. Yet another match that is long enough to grade but the length brings it down because it feels like they’re just filling in time where they can. This didn’t do anything for Del Rio as he didn’t do anything hardcore before the match on Sunday and everyone beats Ryder anymore. Nothing to see here.

We recap the Rhodes family segment from earlier.

The breast cancer people are recognized.

Here are Ryback and Heyman for the proposal. Heyman says he was man enough to pin Punk at Night of Champions to prove he’s the best in the world, but he’s also an expert in political science. He owns CM Punk, so it was his obligation to squash the rebellion that Punk was starting last week in Chicago. That was getting rid of a dictator which si the right move politically. We get the same clip from earlier of Punk being beaten down by the Heyman guys in case the fans forgot it in the last hour and a half.

Heyman says he’s here because Ryback decided to stand up to the bully that is CM Punk. Ryback says he hates bullies like Punk who took everything Heyman did for him and throw it back in Paul’s face so he had to do something. Heyman talks about how progressive of a society we live in today and he wants more than just a client relationship with Ryback. He wants to make a commitment to Ryback from the opening match to the main event, in sickness and in health and until death do them part.

Paul wants to make an honest man out of Ryback so he takes him by the hand and drops to a knee. Paul’s proposal: will Ryback be the new Paul Heyman guy? Before there’s an answer we get more Punk music and here’s Punk through the crowd. He jumps the barricade….and hurts his knee, collapsing down to the floor in pain. This goes on for awhile until Punk limps to the apron but can’t get in. Heyman goes for it for some stupid reason, allowing Punk to pop up with a kendo stick and lay out Heyman, Ryback and the charging Axel with ease. Axel takes a GTS as Punk hops around to show how good his knee is.

Big Show is still waiting for HHH.

Dolph Ziggler/Usos vs. Shield

On the way to the ring we get another Youtube video to answer the burning question: which Uso is a better dancer? After that greatness, we start with Ziggler getting punched by Ambrose in the corner. Ziggler comes back with a dropkick but a rake to the eyes allows for the tag off to Rollins. The Usos come in with some double teaming and it’s Jimmy hooking an armbar on Seth.

Rollins takes him into the Shield corner and it’s back to Ambrose for some double teaming. Jimmy ducks a double clothesline and tries a double cross body, only to be caught in the air. Jey dropkicks Jimmy’s back to drop both guys down. Everything breaks down and the Usos hit stereo dives to Dean and Roman as we take a break. Back with Seth holding Jimmy in a chinlock. A suplex puts Rollins down but it’s ff to Ambrose before Jimmy can make a tag.

Off to a chinlock from the US Champion as the fans are wanting Ziggler. Roman comes in to complete the trio of chinlockery before something like Cena’s spinning side slam gets two. Jimmy superkicks out of it and FINALLY makes the tag off to Dolph to fire up the crowd. Ziggler loads up the ten straight elbowso n Dean but has to dropkick Rollins out of the air before finishing.

A Fameasser gets two on Ambrose as Reigns makes the Shield save. Jimmy shoves Roman to the floor but Dean breaks up the attempted dive. Off to Rollins as Dean is sent to the floor. Roman makes a blind tag as Dolph Zig Zags Rollins, only to be speared in half for the pin at 12:04.

Rating: B-. Yeah it’s the same formula the Shield has used for months, but there’s nothing wrong with that at all. That spear always looks great and Ziggler went flying as a result this time. Another good match here as everyone has come to expect from Shield. The Usos need to win the tag titles at some point though.

Big Show is still waiting on HHH and even throws some flowers to the floor. Instead he gets cops who don’t like that he’s threatening a WWE employee. Stephanie comes in to say Show is under a lot of pressure and doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions. Stephanie has talked to Show’s wife and implies he can’t perform to her standards as of late if you get Stephanie’s drift. Everyone but Show leaves so Big Show punches a HHH poster.

RVD shows us a Youtube video of his ten most extreme moments. In case you didn’t get it, WWE has a Youtube channel and you need to subscribe to it or your puppy will be lit on fire and your mother will be fed to mutant pigs. Del Rio has no idea what hardcore is about because anything goes. By anything of course they mean chairs to the back, trashcan lids, the steps and a table.

Big Show vs. Shield on Friday.

Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

Before the match we get the entire giant swing on Titus last week which is still amazing. Cesaro fires off a bunch of elbows to start and stomps on Santino’s chest. A chinlock is quickly broken but Cesaro can’t hook the swing. Santino comes back with his usual stuff before loading up the Cobra. Thankfully Cesaro punches him down and here’s the weekly swing with Santino dropping the stupid sock. The fans are counting the revolutions as they go and we hit an insane 32. Santino stands up but immaturity falls back down, only to roll up Cesaro for the pin at 2:51. Well of course he does.

We look at the marriage announcement between Brie and Bryan again.

Lawler is in the ring to moderate the face to face meeting between Bryan and Orton. Randy talks about how he’s the old Predator again and how dangerous that makes him. He’s genetically superior to the B+ Bryan and will prove it on Sunday. Bryan says that’s A+ all the way from Orton but asks why HHH picked him as the face of the WWE. It’s because he wants Orton to be on magazines and DVDs whereas Bryan would never want to be the best because of something like that.

Orton stops the YES chants before shifting over to Brie Bella. He doesn’t understand what must be wrong with Brie to make her want to be with Bryan, because one day she’ll realize she’s sleeping with a barnyard animal. That’s enough for Bryan and the beating is on. They head to the floor where Orton takes over and sends Bryan into the steps and post. The beating continues and Orton loads up the Elevated DDT on the floor, drawing out Brie to beg for mercy. Orton of course DDTs him on the floor and loads up the announce table. An RKO to Bryan through the table ends the show as Brie freaks out.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked the show a bit more than last week but the WWE Title has gone from the focus of the show to an afterthought. Everything but the world title matches got a great buildup tonight and Battleground looks a lot better as a result. Punk vs. Heyman continues to be probably the feud of the year, the Rhodes and Big Show stuff is well done, and the Shield had another good match. Then there are the world titles though and both matches just feel tacked on. Imagine that: HHH being the focus of two stories and the world titles suffering as a result.

Results

CM Punk b. Big E. Langston – GTS

Kofi Kingston b. Fandango – Trouble in Paradise

Los Matadores b. 3MB – Double falling slam to Slater

R-Truth b. Curtis Axel – Little Jimmy

Brie Bella b. Alicia Fox – Bella Buster

Alberto Del Rio b. Zack Ryder – Cross armbreaker

Shield b. Usos/Dolph Ziggler – Spear to Ziggler

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume I at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at: