So I’ve been watching Raw from 1999 and the following becomes obvious.The show is dominated by about 10 acts.  You have Austin, Rock, Vince, Stephanie, Undertaker, Shane, HHH, Shamrock and the Ministry, all making about 5 appearances each.  Today this is called dominating a show while 1999 is called the good old days.

Funny how that works.

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 12, 1999
Location; Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 14,701
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Things are again picking up around here as the Ministry is growing out of control and threatening both Vince and his daughter. Last week Ryan Shamrock was sacrificed to Undertaker’s Higher Power with the promise of Stephanie being next. Austin is being pulled into the story as well, making things all the more interesting. Let’s get to it.

Stephanie and Vince are in the back. Why does she keep coming to these shows? Vince tells her that it’s ok and to just relax and enjoy the show.

Opening sequence.

JR is back on commentary with no explanation of him getting his job back.

Here’s the Corporation led by Shane to open things up. JR says Shane has a major announcement for us tonight. Shane brags about how awesome the Corporation is before introducing the newest members: Rodney and Pete Gas. Shamrock grabs the mic and demands an explanation for where the Corporation was last week when Ken was abducted and Ryan was kidnapped. Shane says this is all about the Undertaker and asks Stephanie to come down here. Vince says ok but he and the security are coming too.

The other McMahons and the Stooges hit the ring with Vince wanting to know what Shane’s game is. Shane tells Vince that he’s focused his entire world around his little girl while throwing Shane and the Corporation to the side. Vince has put Jim Ross on commentary when JR can barely speak. Shane would fire JR right now but Michael Cole sucks just as much. Shane says the Corporation is about youth so it’s time for someone to be fired thirty years too late.

Patterson and Brisco are both fired so Vince accuses Shane of being on a power trip. Vince says he and Stephanie are going home but Shane isn’t done yet. Papa McMahon says if you want power you have to earn it, so Shane slaps his dad in the face. Shane says Vince is no longer his father and will just be referred to as Vince. Shamrock isn’t pleased and leaves with Vince.

Post break Vince thanks Shamrock before escorting Stephanie out.

Rock goes out for some fresh air as Shane has a meeting with the Corporation.

Women’s Title: Sable vs. Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Ivory

Sable is defending and flanked by Nicole Bass. Jackie gets in Sable’s face before the bell so Bass chokeslams her down with ease. Tori gets slammed and Ivory gets chokeslammed off the middle rope. With no one left in the ring, Sable stops to dance. The bell still hasn’t rung yet….and that’s it. Ok then.

With Bass still in the ring, there go the lights and here comes the Ministry. Actually it’s just their music with Undertaker on the screen saying another innocent victim will be sacrificed tonight.

Here’s Austin, having just arrived thirty minutes into the show. He’s also got the regular WWF Title belt with him after giving it back to Vince two weeks ago. He’s glad Rock went out to get some fresh air because what happened at Wrestlemania is nothing compared to what Rock has to go through at Backlash. As for special guest referee Shane, he better enjoy disrespecting Vince while he can because Austin will rip him apart. Back to Rock, he better come out here and give up the title to Austin before Austin drags him out here to take it from him.

Rock pops up on screen with the Smoking Skull belt while standing on a bridge. About a year and a half ago, Austin threw Rock’s Intercontinental Title off a bridge as well, but that’s not what Rock is going to do tonight. If Austin is some kind of a big game hunter, come hunt the Brahma Bull and get your belt back.

Mankind is looking for the boiler room and talks about playing hockey with Al Snow.

Big Show vs. Christian

I don’t see this lasting long. Big Show has his signature music, I believe for the first time ever. Before the match, Undertaker pops up on screen and tells Gangrel and Edge to leave. Tonight Christian has to prove his worth on his own. Christian tries right hands and is easily thrown into the corner for a loud chop. The chokeslam ends this in a little over a minute.

Mankind says he’s ready for a Boiler Room Brawl with Big Show in thirteen days.

Shane sends the Mean Street Posse to the boiler room to take out Mankind.

Rock is still waiting on the bridge.

Rodney and Pete Gas head for the boiler room.

Billy Gunn vs. Val Venis

Feeling out process to start until Val takes him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. Things speed up for a few moments until Venis catches him in a spinebuster for two. Off to the wristlock and there’s the grind from Val. Billy comes right back with a DDT and some grinding of his own before the cover. A Stinger Splash crushes Val but he comes back with a hot shot to drop Billy face first onto the buckle. Billy gets low bridged to the floor and here are Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart to beat him down for the DQ.

Rating: C. Much better than I was expecting here but the ending didn’t help anything. Both guys were moving very fast out there and it made for an entertaining match. When Billy was staying in the midcard and not being pushed as a big deal I could always tolerate him much more easily. Venis was his usual smooth self.

Venis goes after Owen and Jeff for costing him a match and Road Dogg comes out to help as well. Debra has eyes for Val but Jeff pulls her away. This would be the start of a VERY bizarre story.

We go to Doc Hendrix for the WWF Update. This is just a quick rundown of the major matches with a short promo from Mankind about protecting Big Show by hiding in the boiler room until Backlash. This takes like three minutes and tells you everything you need to know about the show. Simple, efficient and completely lacking the WWE App nonsense.

Mankind easily dispatches the Posse, saying he doesn’t like their haircuts.

Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart vs. Acolytes

Owen bails to the floor, leaving Jarrett to get destroyed by both big men. Faarooq pounds on Jarrett to start before bringing in Bradshaw to keep up the punishment. Off to Owen with a spinwheel kick but here’s the Ministry after a little over a minute for the DQ.

Cue Undertaker to grab Debra by the throat. Since he can’t have Stephanie tonight, Debra is going to be the sacrifice. Ken Shamrock hits the ring with a baseball bat, chasing off everyone but the Undertaker. The Dead Man says if Shamrock hits him, he’ll never see Ryan Shamrock again. Taker says Ryan is in the boiler room so Shamrock destroys the Ministry with the bat before shouting RYAN and running off.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Big Boss Man

Goldust is defending but here are Godfather and the girls before the bell. Godfather says his match with Goldust last week didn’t solve anything so he wants a rematch. Therefore, he’s willing to offer Boss Man any of his women in exchange for the shot at Goldust. Boss Man ups the ante by saying he wants all five. Godfather says deal and we have a new challenger.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Godfather

Goldust scores with a quick clothesline and some right hands, only to be taken down with a clothesline from Godfather. Something resembling a suplex gets two for the champion so he sends Godfather into the steps. Back in and Goldust pounds away rather slowly before hooking the chinlock. Godfather fights up and hits the Ho Train but misses a charge and gets backdropped to the floor. Goldie takes off a buckle pad but gets sent into it chest first, setting up the Death Valley Driver to give Godfather the title.

Rating: D. This is around the time when the IC Title started to die. There’s no reason for Godfather or Goldust or Road Dogg or anyone like that to have the belt and there’s no way to get invested into such short reigns. It’s a big reason why the title means nothing today: there’s no reason to care about any of the champions so we don’t care when the titles change hands.

Mankind has Ryan Shamrock and hands her safely off to Ken.

We get the I Cheer For Them promo, with a bunch of legends talking about how things were back then but how they’re now fans of the modern product. It’s really cool looking and makes the guys of today look awesome while also respecting the past. Nice touch.

The Ministry jumps Mankind and Shamrock. Ken is knocked out with some ether as Ryan screams. The Ministry takes Ken away as Undertaker blames Ryan for what happens.

Al Snow is at ringside for the next match and has put King’s crown on Head.

Hardcore Title: Hardcore Holly vs. D’Lo Brown

Snow gets the winner at Backlash. They quickly head to the floor where Holly finds a hockey stick, only to have it taken away by some of the Detroit Redwings. Back in and Brown breaks the stick over Holly’s back before dropping a leg to drive Hardcore’s head into a chair. They trade shots with the broken stick with Brown getting the better of it.

Snow hands Holly a glass of water which goes upside D’Lo’s head for two. Holly brings in a table but again Brown takes control and lays him out on it, only to be pulled off the top by Snow. Brown comes back in with a chair to lay out Snow but Al pulls Holly off the table, sending Brown crashing through it, giving Hardcore the pin.

Rating: D. Messy stuff here but it continues the story. Here’s the lesson to learn from this match: anything, even as stupid as the Hardcore Title, can be made interesting if you give it a story. Snow only wants to beat Holly for the title so he’s protecting him until Backlash. It’s not a great story and it’s not an important title, but it makes things better than “here’s the champion, here’s the challenger, here’s the match” and it didn’t take much effort at all.

Undertaker says he’s not out of touch with reality but rather just being himself. Ken Shamrock is tied to what looks like Undertaker’s symbol and is promised unimaginable pain.

Rock is very impatient but has a fishing pole to see what he can catch.

Ken Shamrock is on the symbol for the sacrifice. Actually scratch that as Undertaker drags Christian out, saying he’ll be the sacrifice. Shamrock has gotten loose somehow as Edge and Gangrel fight back against the Ministry. Cue Mankind to help fight the Ministry and we’ve got a huge brawl. Taker descends on the Brood’s platform.

Tag Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. HHH/Test

HHH jumps Kane to start but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Off to Test who gets caught by some fast uppercuts and a slam. A dropkick sends Kane into the corner but he easily lifts Test into the air and into the corner for some right hands and a stomping. Kane gets so tunnel visioned that he won’t tag in X-Pac so the small guy brings himself in. Pac takes over with his kicks and a right hand knocks the illegal HHH to the floor, allowing Test to kick Pac down.

HHH comes in again to stomp on X-Pac in the corner as Chyna gets in a cheap shot of her own. Test gets two off a gutwrench powerbomb but it’s quickly back to HHH for the facebuster. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Pac fights up and hits a spinwheel kick. The double tag brings in Kane and Test with the Big Red Machine cleaning house. Test is sent to the floor after a Bronco Buster, only to have HHH throw him back in for a tombstone to retain the titles as the Game walks out.

Rating: D+. This was a basic tag match but again it was all about the story instead of the match. I like X-Pac and Kane having very little chemistry as they’ve only had a match or two together now. That makes perfect sense and adds a bit of realism to the match. HHH throwing Test back inside will come into play later.

Rock is still waiting.

Here’s Ken Shamrock with something else to say. He’s been trying to get a piece of Undertaker all night long but Mark keeps slipping out the backdoor. He knows Undertaker can hear him so get out here right now so Shamrock can bring him down to reality. There go the lights and Undertaker pops up behind Shamrock for the big beating. Ken rolls out though and pounds away on Undertaker, drawing in the Ministry for the group beatdown. HHH and Boss Man finally come out to pull Shamrock away….only to destroy him themselves as Shane looks on.

Austin arrives at the bridge and the fight is on, only to have Austin pretty easily knocked over the edge and into the water. Rock throws the belt in as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This is another hard one to grade. For one thing, there wasn’t much wrestling and the focus was almost entirely on the Ministry tonight, though they’re by far the biggest thing in the company at the moment. If nothing else, Shamrock is looking like a star in all of this as he’s fighting for his family and what’s right while never backing down. These shows are hard to sit through this fast though and the formula wears thin in a hurry. It’s never boring, but that doesn’t make it good.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 5, 1999
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 12,666
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

After last week’s, shall we say, interesting choice for a post Wrestlemania show, we continue down the road into Vince Russo’s psychosis, meaning things could get very interesting in a hurry. The main story seems to be Big Show aiding Austin in the battle against Vince and the Corporation. Other than that, Undertaker is starting to act more and more Santaly. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Vince and Stephanie being terrified about what Undertaker has become, along with a recap of last week’s show.

Opening sequence.

Tag Titles: X-Pac/Kane vs. Jeff Jarrett/Owen Hart

This is due to Kane answering an opening challenge last night and Pac coming down to help him, only to nearly get chokeslammed for his efforts. Pac and Owen get things going fast until Pac takes him down with a spinwheel kick. Off to Jarrett who takes a flipping clothesline but makes a blind tag to Owen for a spin kick of his own. A hard whip into the corner takes Pac down and a suplex gets two.

X-Pac rolls through a cross body out of the corner for two as we’re told Shane McMahon will be refereeing the Backlash main event. Jarrett grabs a sleeper but gets suplexed down to give Pac a breather. Owen comes in but misses a middle rope elbow and gets clotheslined down, allowing for the hot tag to Kane. House is cleaned and Kane slams X-Pac onto Jarrett for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. Yeah Russo LOVED his wacky tag team partners. Nothing much to see here but getting the titles off of Hart and Jarrett was the right idea. They’re both good but man alive were they an uninteresting team. The only thing they had was Debra and she would be able to get over with or without anyone. It wasn’t terrible but you can see the division dying.

The McMahons are in the back and Vince says he’s staying with Stephanie all night long. Shane tells the Corporation that their mission tonight is to take care of Big Show and Austin.

X-Pac celebrates and doesn’t know where Kane is. He doesn’t care though as long as Kane is there when he needs to be.

Here’s the Corporation with something to say. Rock still has the Smoking Skull belt. Shane shows us a clip from the end of last week’s show, including Big Show saving Austin from the Corporation. Tonight it’s Big Show vs. Rock/HHH in a very special handicap match. HHH talks some generic trash while Rock makes fun of Big Show and threatens to break off both his feet inside Big Show. Rock puts on the Smoking Skull belt with Shane insisting we get a closeup of the title. During the night, Shane is going to put that picture on the screen at his whim because Shane McMahon says so.

Post break Shane explains what he did to Vince because Vince and Stephanie aren’t watching the show. So why are they even here tonight other than for plot advancements? Vince recommends that Shane chill.

Here’s Ivory with something to say. She wants to know if it’s always that time of the month for PMS because they’re always cramping her style. Ivory knows that Jackie can back up her words but what about Terri? How about she comes out here right now and prove how tough she is. PMS comes out but Jackie lets Terri do this on her own. Ivory rips Terri’s shirt off to reveal the puppies, but the lights go out as the Ministry is here.

Taker says he knows McMahon is watching with his daughter by his side, so wrap your arms around her and give her Taker’s regards. Tonight, there will be a sacrifice in the form of a beautiful young woman who will be taken from her family and break her dad’s heart.

Vince is in the back with cops but demands that Patterson go find more security. He thinks he might have to give Taker what he wants which Shane doesn’t like.

Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

Non-title meaning it’s under regular rules. They pound each other in the back of the head to start as the lack of weapons makes this sound a bit uninteresting to put it mildly. Out to the floor Snow isn’t allowed to use a chair and Holly takes over, only to be told he can’t use the chair either. Back in and Holly hits a dropkick but stops to pose instead of covering.

A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Al but Holly misses a charge into the corner. Snow pops up to the top for a high cross body for two of his own. The Snow Plow doesn’t work and Holly takes him down with a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as the second Snow Plow is good for the pin on Hardcore.

Rating: D. Here’s a good example of what happens when you have gimmick characters: when you take away the gimmick, there’s no reason to care about either guy. Holly was just a regular guy here and Snow didn’t get to do any of the insane stuff that he used to get over. Nothing to see here at all.

Steve Williams and Jim Ross run in to beat down Snow and Holly.

Shane puts the Smoking Skull belt on the screen.

Undertaker has the Ministry hold Christian for a flogging due to him telling Shamrock where Stephanie was last week.

New Age Outlaws vs. Edge/Gangrel

Billy takes Gangrel down with an ugly dropkick to start before cranking on the arm and bringing in the Dogg. Roadie shrugs off some attempts at cheating and gets two off the shaky knee on Edge. The Brood cheats again and Gangrel gets two off a DDT. There’s a double hiptoss to Dogg and Edge gives Billy some pelvic thrusts.

We hit the chinlock from Edge and a knee to the ribs puts Dogg down again. A nice looking double suplex gets two on Dogg but he rolls away from a flying Edge out of a Rocket Launcher. The hot tag brings in Billy as everything breaks down. Christian hobbles down to the ring and gets sent into the ring for a Fameasser, giving Billy the pin.

Rating: D+. This was another mess with the ending being Russo 104. I’m not sure when Edge and Christian will finally dump Gangrel and team up to become legends but it needs to happen soon. Gangrel is just there and it’s pretty annoying to see him take up a spot from a more talented guy. The Outlaws are still way over though so a rub won’t hurt the Brood at all.

Austin threatens to cost the McMahons a lot of money if they keep showing the Smoking Skull belt on the Titantron.

Recap of the Stephanie kidnapping from last week.

Ken Shamrock vs. Viscera

Ken goes right at Viscera and is promptly thrown to the ground. A cross body goes about as well with Viscera falling on top for two. Shamrock comes back with kicks and an impressive belly to belly suplex but there go the lights and here comes the Ministry for the no contest.

Shamrock is captured and beaten down with right hands and a Bradshaw powerbomb. Undertaker and Paul Bearer are watching from the aisle like true evil masterminds should. Shamrock is dragged away through the crowd.

Shane won’t let the Corporation go after Shamrock because it could be a trap.

Shamrock is thrown into a trunk and driven away.

Val Venis vs. Mankind

Amazingly enough these two would fight on PPV. Mankind does a creepy imitation of Val’s hello ladies by saying hello Long Island while bragging about being on the cover of Newsday. The fans are entirely behind the hometown man(kind) as he runs over Venis with a forearm to the head. Venis bails to the floor but has to run away before Foley can drop the elbow. Venis comes back with right hands in the corner but Foley comes back with a spinebuster.

Jerry and Cole are talking about some conspiracy about ESPN and ABC lying about the WWF in some story for the sake of pushing Monday Night Football. Mankind misses a charge and lands on the floor for a baseball slide from Val. The Money Shot is broken up and there’s the Claw, only to have Venis fall off the top and out to the floor. Back in and the double arm DDT sets up Socko for the win.

Rating: C-. This is the ultra rare clean finish in the Attitude Era with Foley getting the relatively easy win over someone that had no business beating him. Oddly enough, that’s something you don’t seen enough in today’s rigidly structured WWE. The match was nothing special but the fans were going nuts for Foley to make it better.

The lights flicker in Vince’s office.

The Ministry has a huddle in the middle of the hallway.

Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Goldust

Goldie is defending. Godfather offers him the girls but Goldust is too freaky so Godfather opts to just beat him up instead. The champion comes back with a shoulder block before bailing to be near the girls. Back in and Godfather gets two off some elbow drops before hitting the Ho Train, only to be tripped up by the Blue Meanie. Goldust and Godfather brawl to a lame double countout to the collective disinterest of the audience.

Vince’s lights flicker again before going out. A lot of shouting is heard and Stephanie screams.

Here’s the Ministry dragging someone under a blanket and tying them to Undertaker’s symbol. We cut to the back to see Stephanie with Vince and the sacrifice is……..Ryan Shamrock. Undertaker promises to make Stephanie one of them due to the wishes of the higher power. Vince shouts into the camera for Undertaker to stay away from Stephanie.

HHH/The Rock vs. Big Show

HHH comes out to the DX music because that’s the kind of jerk he is. Rock again gets annoyed when the fans keep singing long with his catchphrases, including when he telling them this is NOT sing-a-long with the Rock. There are tags required here so it’s HHH being headbutted into the next county to start.

A big backdrop puts HHH down so it’s off to Rock who gets a headbutt of his own. Back to the Game who walks into a backbreaker but gets up a boot to the face in the corner. HHH tries to pound away but gets slammed down with ease. Rock comes back in with right hands but gets caught by the throat, drawing in Chyna for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was just there for the Big Show to treat Rock and HHH like a moderate size Japanese city. As usual, the match here was little more than a backdrop to set up the post match stuff but to be fair, you can’t put Show over here so let Big Show look good before getting beaten down.

Post match Show is beaten down and hit with the People’s Elbow, drawing out Austin (thankfully in BLUE jeans this week). Rock still escapes with the Smoking Skull belt. Shane puts the shot of the belt up on the screen again and that’s it for Austin. He and Big Show charge up the ramp but stop before going through the curtain.

Austin instructs Big Show to pull the Titantron down……AND HE DOES IT! Austin sneaks under the tron and slices through the screen. This blew my mind as a kid, even though it’s clearly slight of hand now. Austin destroys the screen with a pole to end the show. Cole calls the screen the crown jewel of the company. Just go with it people.

Overall Rating: C. This was better as the insanity was still there but in smaller doses. There was some actual focus on the in ring action and some build to the PPV as well. For this era, that’s about as good as you’re going to get. Austin getting involved with the rest of the Corporation feud instead of just Rock and Vince is a nice change. We can also head up to the Higher Power stuff too which should be interesting when you know what’s coming.

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Really, they are.They have great talent down in NXT, a solid (though confusing) main event storyline, part timers doing what they should be doing, John Cena and Sheamus waiting in the wings, and Punk/Heyman owning the world.  What more can you really ask for?

And cue everyone saying that WWE sucks.

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 29, 1999
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 15,213
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after Wrestlemania and the big story is Rock losing the WWF Title to Steve Austin. This will only serve to continue the war between Vince and Austin but at the same time we’re continuing Vince vs. Undertaker. We’re starting on the road to Backlash now which would be the final In Your House PPV. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Austin’s road back to the title, including the beer truck attack from last week.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the new champion to open the show to an eruption, wearing black jeans for the only time I ever remember. Austin says he did exactly what he said he would do: head to Philadelphia, go up route 3:16 and burn the Smackdown Hotel to the ground. Now that we’ve got the sentimental crap out of the way, Austin thinks the WWF Title belt isn’t worth all the trouble and aggravation. He wants Vince out here right now so he can relinquish the belt.

Vince cautiously comes to the ring and after taking forever to come down the aisle, Austin hands him the belt like it’s no big deal. Vince goes to leave but Austin says it’s not that easy. Austin has some footage for Vince, which shows McMahon running away with the WWF Title at Breakdown and then taking the Smoking Skull belt with him as a trophy. Vince can have the belt but Austin is the WWF Champion and there’s nothing that can be done about that.

He wants Vince to bring the Smoking Skull belt back because that’s the one he wants. If Vince doesn’t have it back here in two hours, he’ll be getting the beating of his life. McMahon says no because that belt reminds him that he owns a piece of Stone Cold. Austin looks ready for a Stunner but Vince says if Austin attacks him without being provoked, Vince can fire him on the spot. Austin has another clip from last night, showing Vince stomping Austin down in the corner. That sounds like provocation to Austin, so the two hours are ticking away. Vince hits Austin in the back with the belt and runs away.

A lot of people arrive at the show.

Vince sends Stephanie to get the belt.

Sable/Jacqueline vs. Tori/Ivory

Sable is looking GREAT in a half shirt and some tiny shorts. This is a result of Jackie burning Ivory’s face with a cigar last night on Heat. Ivory jumps Jackie to start and there’s a giant swing for good measure. Off to Tori as Ivory chases Terri up the ramp for lighting another cigar. Sable is still holding the belt on the apron which she uses to clock Jackie in the back of the head. Tori gets the worst backslide ever for the pin.

Tori and Sable are about to brawl when the Ministry of Darkness interrupts. Sable can’t escape because there are ropes with huge gaps between them behind her. Taker says he wants to see what she’s got. Sable starts doing the grind so Taker grabs her by the throat. He says he’s got Vince’s meal ticket so he needs to get out here right now to save her.

Vince tells Shane to stay in the back with Stephanie while he takes care of this. Isn’t she supposed to be going to Connecticut? Vince comes out, drops the mic and then heads right back through the curtain. He sprints to the back, screaming for Stephanie but finding no daughter in the dressing room. Vince yells at Shane as we take a break.

Back from a break with Vince telling Shane not to call the cops and saying Stephanie must be in the parking lot. Instead of, you know, going to look for her, he walks around the dressing room. This is very interesting to see when you know what’s coming in the story.

Here’s a sullen X-Pac with something to say. He came back here a year ago because of a phone call from HHH saying DX was falling apart. Then last night HHH turned on him by making a choice. The Outlaws and X-Pac will be out here every week to tell Hunter to suck it until the day they die. HHH’s name may be Hunter, but tonight he’s the hunted. Nice line there.

Vince gets a call from Undertaker saying she really is sugar and spice and everything nice.

Big Show vs. Test

Big Show is freshly face after objecting to Vince yelling at him last night. A boot to the face sets up the chokeslam to end Test in about 30 seconds.

Big Show talks about how Vince is having some personal trauma right now, but Show doesn’t really care. Vince thought that he owned Big Show but no one owns him at all. It was Vince that said when Big Show got to the WWF, everything was going to change. Starting tonight, Vince is going to eat those words.

Vince sends Shamrock to find Stephanie.

Hardcore Title: Steve Williams vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly won the title back last week and is defending here as a result of accidentally breaking JR’s broadcast table a few weeks back. Williams pounds Holly into the corner to start but Holly comes back with kicks of his own. Steve comes back with a quick belly to belly suplex as JR gets on (Spanish) commentary to rant about wanting to go back to work. Williams goes after Holly’s leg, wrapping it around the post for good measure.

Nothing about this has been hardcore so far. A knee crusher has Holly in trouble but he comes back with a DDT before rolling to the outside. Here’s a table but Williams hits a quick powerslam to drive Holly through, only to take out the referee in the process. Cue Al Snow with a frying pan to lay out Williams to keep the title on Holly.

Rating: D. They managed to make a hardcore match boring. That’s really hard to do when you think about how insane some of these matches could be. The JR/Steve Williams stuff needs to wrap up soon as there’s just nothing interesting at all in there. People don’t want to boo JR and these heel turns never work for him.

The Rock vs. Billy Gunn

Shane joins commentary. Rock powers Billy into the corner and fires off right hands as Shane goes nuts. Billy comes back with a drop toehold and a dropkick before working on the arm for a bit. Rock slugs Gunn down as Shane tells everyone to focus. A suplex gets two for the Great One and there’s a Stun Gun to Gunn for two more. They head outside with Billy being sent into the barricade and Rock jumping on commentary, only to have Billy flash him for no apparent reason. Back in and Billy fires off some right hands, only to be caught in the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow (BIG ovation) for the pin.

Rating: D+. Rock’s face turn is imminent at this point for the same reasons it happened last time: you can’t hold that kind of charisma down. The other thing to remember is that Rock never really turned face in 1998. He just started fighting heels but still talked the same trash and acted arrogant before joining up with Vince and company. Billy Gunn continues to get on my nerves.

Shamrock says he’ll beat the information out of whomever he has to in order to get Vince’s baby girl back.

Austin watches the clock.

Ken Shamrock vs. Gangrel

Shamrock starts fast and wins a quick slugout with a clothesline. Gangrel comes back with a quick powerslam for two and a DDT for the same. Ken fires off a dropkick and demands to know where Stephanie is. He takes Gangrel to the floor and sends him into the steps before shoving the referee for getting in Shamrock’s way.

Gangrel is rammed into various objects but still says he doesn’t know where she is. Some whips into the steps soften Gangrel up a bit more before we head back inside for right hands and more interrogation. The fans get distracted by something so Shamrock stalls for a bit. The belly to belly sets up an ankle lock on Gangrel to end the massacre.

Rating: D+. This was much more of a match than an angle which makes it hard to grade. Gangrel was there as a warm body for Shamrock to beat on which is probably the best idea given his rather limited in ring skills. At least this short match had a purpose, unlike a lot of other stuff you’ll see around here.

Post match Edge and Christian come after Shamrock and the lights go out. Shamrock gets a blood bath but he grabs Christian by the ankle. He cranks on the hold until Christian says Stephanie is in the basement.

Post break Shamrock is in the basement to find the lost princess.

Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Goldust

Feeling out process to start until Ryan Shamrock heads to the ring, only to be sent to the back by Blue Meanie. Roadie pounds Goldie into the corner before Goldust cranks on the champion’s arm. Road Dogg comes back with a rollup for two and we stop again. Shattered Dreams is blocked by the referee but Road Dogg goes after Blue Meanie for some reason. Meanie accidentally splashes Goldust and Road Dogg bulldogs Meanie into Goldust’s crotch. The juke n jive sets up the shaky knee drop, only to have to escape the Curtain Call. Meanie clocks Dogg with the belt, allowing the Curtain Call to connect for the title.

Rating: D. How in the world do you overbook a match that runs four minutes? Also I don’t get the mentality of having the title change here instead of doing it the night before at WRESTLEMANIA. These guys were the last two in the fourway last night, so why not give Goldie the title there? Nothing match which was WAY overdone.

Post match Goldust says that was a raging climax, which was the tagline of Wrestlemania last night. He says we’ll know something very soon, whatever that means.

Shamrock finds Stephanie crying with the Ministry mark on her forehead.

Stephanie cries on her dad’s shoulder. That’s a relief. It had been a full ten minutes since we saw Vince.

Tag Titles: Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett vs. Legion of Doom

It’s a brawl to start of course with the LOD (flanked by Paul Ellering) cleaning house to start. Animal slams Jeff down for two and we’re ready to go. The fans call Owen a nugget but an Animal suplex quiets them down. Jarrett’s knee to the back allows Owen to kick Animal’s head off to take over before it’s off to Jeff. Animal comes back with a double clothesline and cleans house as Hawk finally comes in to help out. The Doomsday Device puts Owen down but there’s no referee. Jeff cracks the guitar over Hawk’s head and puts Owen on top to retain the belts.

Vince thanks Shamrock for his services and Shane has the Smoking Skull belt. Vince doesn’t care because this night is over. Shane is tasked with giving the belt back to Austin. They leave but Shane says tonight isn’t over.

X-Pac vs. HHH

Shane is out here with HHH, meaning odds are he didn’t give Austin the belt back yet. It’s a big brawl to start of course with HHH firing off right hands to take over. Pac comes back with some kicks and chops, only to be taken down by the knee to the face. Another kick to the face puts HHH down but he misses the Bronco Buster. The facebuster puts Pac down again but he comes back with a spinwheel kick and the flipping clothesline, but Pac wants to chase Shane. He runs right into a Chyna clothesline, drawing the fast DQ.

Rating: C-. Nothing match again here as it’s barely long enough to rate. The DX split was fine as they had pretty much done all they could have done, but HHH wasn’t ready to go to that next level yet. Feuding with X-Pac didn’t help either as Pac was nothing more than a midcarder, but at least he was over so the fans cared.

Shane, HHH and Chyna beat X-Pac down post match until Kane makes the save. Shane actually goes after him but the distraction doesn’t help HHH all that much. Chyna’s distraction on the other hand lets HHH hit Kane in the head with a chair for not much effect.

Shane stays in the ring for the big closing number with Austin. He says they’re both champions and if Austin wants his belt, all he has to do is look around the waist of the most electrifying man in sports entertainment. Cue Rock with the title over his shoulder, making Shane look like a mean old liar. Rock gives Austin credit before changing his mind because there’s nobody (crowd: “NOBODY!” Rock: “Don’t do that.”) that can take this belt from him. He may have lost last night, but it took TWO Stunners to do it.

Cue Austin for the fight with Rock sending him into the announce table. They head back inside and there’s a Stunner for Shane, only to have Rock take him down again. The Skull belt to the head drops Austin and here’s HHH to help with the beatdown. Shamrock and Test are here as well but Big Show makes the save, allowing Austin to stand back while he cleans house. A chokeslam to HHH ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. If you didn’t know any better, odds are you wouldn’t know this wasn’t the show after Wrestlemania. What happened tonight? Austin vs. Rock and Undertaker vs. Vince continued, a midcard title changed hands, and we had two show long angles, only of which barely had a resolution at all. This could have been any given Raw after any given PPV, which is really hard to get accept the night after Wrestlemania. Not a bad show, but I was expecting something very different.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 23, 2013
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Things are getting interesting around here with the locker room starting to revolt against the HHH regime. The main story at the moment sees a group of ten guys standing up to the boss last week, setting the stage for a potential showdown between HHH and pretty much everyone else. This has the potential to be a very fun time for the WWE and Raw in particular. Let’s get to it.

We open with an in memory graphic of Angelo Savoldi, the world’s oldest professional wrestler, who died over the weekend at age 99.

We recap the events of Night of Champions as well as the Bryan/Armstrong segment resulting in Bryan being stripped of the title. Some of the locker room revolted, setting the stage for tonight.

The ten men who revolted (Prime Time Players, Usos, Zack Ryder, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Rob Van Dam, Dolph Ziggler and Justin Gabriel) are on the stage as HHH and Stephanie head to the ring. The bosses welcome us to the show before turning their attention to the guys on the stage. Shield is standing guard as usual. HHH thanks the guys for finally standing up for what they believe in. RVD says they were fighting for Daniel Bryan because HHH would have done the same thing to them had the roles been reversed.

HHH thinks they’re supposed to be fighting to be WWE Champion, not for the WWE Champion. The bosses ask why none of them are the face of the WWE, but HHH answers for them: it’s because of the Shield. Therefore, tonight it’s an elimination handicap match with Daniel Bryan joining the ten of them. Also there’s going to be an audience poll on the WWE App to determine who faces Orton here tonight: Truth, Ziggler or RVD.

Cole shows us how to install the WWE App because we’re not bright enough to do that ourselves.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston

Non-title of course. Del Rio shoulder blocks him down to start but Kofi comes back with the double leapfrog, only to be sent into the corner before he can hit the jumping back elbow. A running clothesline sends Del Rio to the floor and there’s a BIG flip dive (much more like a flip clothesline with Kofi landing on his feet) to take Alberto out. Back in and Alberto hits a hard kick to the head before taking it to the mat for a bit. Another kick to the head has Kofi in trouble but he dropkicks Alberto the floor, setting up the aborted suicide dive as we take a break.

Back with Del Rio kicking Kofi in the back for two and cranking on the arm. Apparently Kofi sent the arm into the post during the break. Del Rio gets caught on the middle rope but pulls Kingston down into the armbreaker on the ropes. Del Rio clotheslines Kofi down and goes up, only to jump into a dropkick which missed by nearly a foot. Some more dropkicks and the SOS are good for two on Alberto and the Boom Drop keeps the champion in trouble.

Trouble in Paradise is countered into a German suplex for two and a double stomp has Kofi down again. Kofi counters the armbreaker and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into something Cole calls a DDT for two. Kingston misses a springboard cross body, landing on the bad arm. Del Rio sends it into the post, hits a Codebreaker to the arm and the armbreaker gets the tap at 14:03.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as Kofi is continually good for a solid performance against anyone you put him against. Getting wins like this will only help Del Rio get his credibility back but he’s too far gone to be saved now. It’s nice to see the WHC get some exposure like this though so not much to complain about here.

Miz is about to talk about Orton’s attack last week when HHH comes in. He laughs about Miz being hurt last week so tonight it’s MizTV with Big Show as guest.

We recap the Rhodes’ family troubles over the last few weeks.

Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players

You could have known that the Wyatts were in action tonight had you downloaded the WWE App. Or you could have just watched the show and found out like everyone else. The Players get a jobber entrance and the squashing begins early. Harper pounds on Young to start before bringing in Rowan, who is still wearing the mask. A hard slam leads to the mask being revealed as Young is destroyed even more.

A backbreaker from Rowan and it’s back to harper who stops Young’s comeback attempt. There go the lights for some reason but it appears to be an electrical glitch as they’re back a few seconds later. Darren kicks Luke away and makes the tag off to Titus to clean house. Darren hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Rowan to the floor but Harper catches Titus with the discus lariat for the pin at 4:26.

Rating: D+. Long squash here as the Players’ push appears to be in trouble. The Wyatts continue to be awesome with that discus lariat becoming quite the weapon. Introducing the Sister Abigail plot point for Bray was a nice recharge for the characters and hopefully they’ll add more to it soon.

Post match Bray hits Sister Abigail on Young.

Time for MizTV with Big Show. Miz is still favoring his arm after the Orton attack last week. He says he’d usually welcome us to the show but right now he’s banged up and ticked off. It’s a lot easier to put him down than to keep him down and payback is coming. Miz moves on to the Big Show/Dusty Rhodes segment from last week before bringing out the giant. Miz immediately asks Big Show how he could have done that last week before saying if Show didn’t, Shield would have destroyed Dusty instead.

HHH and Stephanie are trying to break Big Show because he’s the biggest guy in the locker room but now everyone is starting to step up. It’s time for Big Show to step up to that witch, so here’s Stephanie to her horrid music. She calls Miz’s statements slander but Miz isn’t scared. Stephanie talks about Miz’s failures and calls him a utility player. He’s good for all the promotional stuff but last week in his hometown, Miz failed his family, his friends and himself. Big Show is forced to knock Miz out before storming off.

Rob Van Dam wins the poll to face Orton in a landslide.

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Orton takes him into the corner to start but has to bail to the floor to avoid a spin kick. Back in and RVD hits a kick in the corner to send Randy right back to the floor. Orton sends him face first into the apron as we take a quick break. Back with Orton getting two off a suplex and putting on a chinlock. RVD comes back with some kicks and Rolling Thunder for two. Orton charges into a boot and gets caught with the split legged moonsault, only to come back with the Elevated DDT.

The RKO is countered with a kick to the face and a rollup is good for two on Randy. The middle rope kick to the face puts Orton down but he’s back up before Rob can launch the Five Star. Instead it’s the cannonball to put Orton down but he pops up to crotch Rob in the corner. A kick to the head puts Rob on the floor and Orton sends Rob into various objects until it’s a double countout at 10:45.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad but it was all to set up the post match stuff. Rob was looking good out there and Orton was his usual solid self. They actually had some chemistry together and the match was pretty entertaining as a result. A double countout wasn’t necessary as Van Dam might be leaving soon, but at least Orton didn’t lose.

Orton keeps up the attack and destroys Van Dam even more, sending him into the barricade, steps and announce table before taking Rob’s unconscious body back inside. A top rope Elevated DDT knocks Rob silly, possibly to write him off TV since his 90 day deal is coming up soon. Appropriately enough, Orton put Van Dam out in 2007 for Rob’s first exit.

Los Matadores are here next week!

The announcers show Del Rio attacking RVD during the break on the WWE App. He put Rob in the armbreaker for a few seconds but was pulled off by referees.

Randy Orton comes up to the Bellas to offer himself as a replacement man once he takes out Daniel Bryan. Brie turns him down and Orton talks some more trash.

We get some clips from HHH and Stephanie’s wedding as an ad for the new HHH DVD. Stephanie is watching in the back when AJ comes in to see her. Stephanie gives AJ a copy of the new DVD to show her what a real wedding looks like. AJ wants the Total Divas to go away like the reality show so Stephanie glares at her. Stephanie threatens to strip AJ of the title if she doesn’t fight tonight. Again, who am I supposed to cheer for in AJ vs. Total Divas? It’s never been made clear.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Naturally we start with dancing until Fandango takes him down and stomps away. Santino hurts his head trying to nip up and it’s off to a body scissors. The fans chant overrated which Cole says is actually Summer Rae. Back up for an abdominal stretch but Santino hip tosses out and starts his usual offense. A Summer distraction lets Fandango suplex Santino down and the guillotine legdrop gets the pin at 3:50.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note but we got to look at Summer in a very revealing outfit and the comedy goof gets pinned. What more can you ask for in less than four minutes? Fandango’s push coming back would be fine but he doesn’t really have anything to go after given how all the champions are heels.

Here’s Punk, clad in a Chicago Blackhawks jersey, for the first time since Night of Champions. During the entrance we’re told it’s Punk vs. Ryback at Battleground. Punk is annoyed at the audience for ruining his bad mood because he hasn’t smiled in eight days. He tried to get the Stanley Cup here tonight but he couldn’t quite get it. It feels like he let everyone down just like he did in Detroit last weekend. It’s going to read in Gray’s Sports Almanac that Paul Heyman beat him.

Punk isn’t smart enough to stay down a lot of the time but maybe he can’t do this anymore. Maybe he doesn’t deserve to wear this jersey anymore or to wrestle in front of the best crowd in the world or to say he’s from Chicago anymore. Then he comes out here and remembers being down 3-1 against the Detroit Redwings and coming back to win the series in seven games. That’s the Chicago way: if you get beaten you come back and keep fighting. Punk wants to fight anyone right now but here’s Heyman on a motorized scooter, singing what sounds like a Frank Sinatra song.

Heyman does his catchphrases but the fans finish it off for him in a funny bit. Punk threatens Heyman with an even worse beating than at Night of Champions because there are thousands of people here that will bail him out of jail. Heyman reminds us that he beat Punk but it’s due to geography. See, Chicago is the Second City while the first city is Heyman’s hometown: New York City.

We see a shot of Paul getting the pin at the PPV, triggering a walrus chant. Heyman says he may be a walrus, but he pinned the shark in Detroit. Punk wants to know if Heyman’s goons can get to him before Punk gets to Heyman, because he only needs two seconds to rip Heyman’s face off. Paul says he beat Punk with both hands tied behind his back and goes to leave but the scooter doesn’t work.

Punk goes after him but Ryback and Axel save their boss just in time. Punk makes a comeback and sends Axel into the set before diving off the stage to take out Ryback. The numbers catch up to him though and Ryback rips off the Blackhawks jersey. Punk is thrown onto the equipment and onto the edge of a table for good measure. Heyman stands up and jumps off the ramp, revealing that it was of course a ruse. Ryback says this is what happens to bullies.

Total Divas vs. AJ Lee/Alicia Fox/Layla/Aksana

Nikki is back in the ring now. Punk is helped to the back during the entrances. Natalya and Alicia get things going and Fox has to escape the Sharpshooter after just a few seconds. A big boot in the corner gets two for Alicia and it’s off to the chinlock. Natalya goes after the leg and it’s off to Brie for some dropkicks. Off to AJ for some kicks, only to get caught in the Bella Buster for the pin at 1:55. Great, this feud gets to continue.

We get a montage of RKO’s from the Youtube channel. Thanks for adding in that Youtube detail. It really made the video that much better.

Shield says their backs are against the walls but that means they always win.

Here’s Bryan with something to say. He talks about the allegations of a fast count from last week but doesn’t think it holds up. Why would you need a fast count when the other person was out cold? Bryan doesn’t really care though because he’s taking back the title in two weeks at Battleground. There won’t be any fast counts or conspiracies. After Orton wakes up, the only thing he’ll be hearing is YES. Cue Shield for the attack but Cody Rhodes and Goldust jump the barricade to go after them, only to be dragged off by security.

Shield vs. Daniel Bryan/Usos/Prime Time Players/Zack Ryder/Kofi Kingston/Dolph Ziggler/Rob Van Dam/R-Truth/Justin Gabriel

Elimination rules here. Jimmy Uso starts against Rollins but it’s quickly off to Ziggler. Kofi and Rob are both here though very taped up. The fans are way behind Ziggler but Ambrose gets the tag to take over. Dean takes him into the corner to bring in Reigns for the power strikes. Back to Rollins for a kick to the chest but the now legal Ambrose gets dropkicked down. The tag brings in Van Dam but a quick shots to the ribs slows him down. Van Dam misses a charge into the post and the bulldog driver makes it 10-3 at 2:57.

Back with Kofi’s hold on Rollins being broken before it’s back to Ambrose to work on Kofi’s injured arm. Dean pounds away in the corner but Kofi flips out of a belly to back suplex. Ambrose goes right back to the bad shoulder to stop the hot tag though and the bulldog driver eliminates Kingston at 8:06 (all times total).

Titus comes in next to throw Ambrose around before it’s off to Reigns for the power showdown. Roman easily shoves him into the corner for some cheap shots from Rollins as Shield takes over again. This has been one sided so far. Titus gets away for a few moments but the spear takes him out at 9:44. Gabriel comes in and gets speared out 15 seconds later.

It’s Ryder in now with some more luck, including the knees to the face and the middle rope dropkick, but a spear takes Ryder out at 10:30. GREAT sequence there by Reigns. Bryan comes in with the kicks and clothesline to put Reigns down followed by the running dropkicks in the corner. Jimmy Uso hits a SWEET superkick and Jey’s superfly splash eliminates Reigns at 11:24. That’s the first time Reigns has been pinned in WWE.

Back from another break with Rollins dropping Young face first onto the buckle before it’s back to Ambrose for the dropkick against the ropes. To recap right now it’s Rollins/Ambrose vs. Young/Bryan/Ziggler/Usos/R-Truth. Rollins hooks a chinlock before bringing Dean back in, only to have Young score with a belly to belly. The northern lights suplex gets two for Darren but Ambrose escapes the Gut Check. A blind tag brings in Rollins for the top rope knee to eliminate Young at 17:16.

Back to Ziggler to a BIG ovation as he scores with a neckbreaker. Ziggler goes nuts but charges into a release Downward Spiral into the middle rope to give Dean two. Ziggler pops back up and hits a Zig Zag out of nowhere to make it 5-1 at 18:45. It’s Rollins vs. Ziggler/Usos/Truth/Bryan. Seth slams Ziggler down and puts on a chinlock but Ziggler comes back with a running DDT to put both guys down. The tag brings in Truth for the first time to clean what’s left of the house, getting two off the sitout gordbuster. Rollins comes back with a kick to the ribs and the running curbstomp for the elimination at 11:12.

It’s still 4-1 so Bryan sends one guy to each apron in a Shield-esque move. Everyone comes in at the same time for the big beatdown, but here’s Ambrose to brawl with Ziggler. The Usos superkick Reigns to the floor and hit BIG stereo dives to take the other Shield members out. Rollins jumps Bryan from behind and puts him on top, only to be shoved off for the flying headbutt. The running knee ends Rollins at 23:07 for the final pin.

Rating: B. Really fun match here with an amazing performance by Reigns in such a short amount of time. That’s the kind of thing that got Diesel over back in the day and it set up a good ending to the match here. Bryan gets to stand tall and everyone looked great out there. Can you ask for something better?

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling wasn’t much for the most part, but the addition of a show long angle really helped things out here. The locker room revolting is a nice change of pace as you can only have Bryan vs. the world for so long. Other than that the Heyman vs. Punk segment worked really well for me and gives Punk more of a personal reason to want to take out Ryback. Good show this week and one of the better ones in awhile.

Results

Alberto Del Rio b. Kofi Kingston – Cross Armbreakerer

Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Discus lariat to O’Neil

Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam went to a double countout

Fandango b. Santino Marella – Guillotine legdrop

Total Divas b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox – Bella Buster to Lee

Daniel Bryan/Usos/Prime Time Players/Justin Gabriel/R-Truth/Zack Ryder/Dolph Ziggler/Rob Van Dam/R-Truth b. Shield – Running knee to Rollins

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 1997
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 14,615
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is yet another request but in this case there’s at least a great match on here. We’ve got HHH vs. Cactus Jack in a street fight which is considered one of the better hardcore matches of all time. They would go on to have one of the best matches of all time period in the same arena in about two years and three months, so this is pretty much an appetizer for that. Also there’s something happening for the first time ever here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video on the history of the WWF in Madison Square Garden. According to this, Gorilla vs. Sammartino sold the place out SEVENTEEN STRAIGHT TIMES. That’s NUTS. Really cool video here.

Intercontinental Title Tournament First Round: Rocky Maivia vs. Ahmed Johnson

He isn’t quite the Rock yet. Commissioner Slaughter comes out behind the Nation to make sure there are no shenanigans. The winner of this gets Farrooq next week in the semi-finals. Johnson knocks Rock to the floor and launches him to the corner via a choke. Maivia finally gets a breather and hits that spinning DDT of his for two. Captain Lou Albano wanders out and takes some notes. Ahmed runs over Rocky again but gets thrown to the floor by Rocky.

Rock, being the ham that he is, does Ahmed’s pose which would be a bit more intimidating if Rocky’s trunks weren’t a bit bejeweled. Ahmed gets whipped into the steps and his hand is sliced open. That may have been an old wound that just got exacerbated here. Rocky keeps pounding away but gets caught in a spinebuster by the original Ezekiel Jackson. They both hit shoulder blocks at the same time and go down as the fans boo. Back up and Ahmed easily hits the Pearl River Plunge (tiger driver) for the pin to advance.

Rating: D+. Nothing much here but I was always a fan of Johnson’s. The guy was a monster who was allegedly going to win the WWF Title but he couldn’t stay healthy. Granted with him not around things wound up going pretty well with the whole Border War thing so it’s hard to complain much. Rocky would get a lot better as I’m sure you guessed.

Here’s Austin and the place ERUPTS. He’s up in the crowd and promises to beat someone up tonight. That’s it. It didn’t take twenty minutes. He didn’t have to cut some big promo. It took a minute and we know that he’s going to go after someone. LEARN THIS WWE!

We get a stupid commercial for a lazer tag thing with Sable on a secret mission or something.

Floyd Patterson is here. Look him up rookies.

We recap Shawn winning the European Title from Bulldog at One Night Only in England, which was pretty much Shawn pulling a political move and taking the title which he didn’t need from Bulldog because he could and wanted to stick it to the Hart Family.

Speaking of Shawn, his next major match is inside something called Hell In A Cell. Here’s his opponent for that: the Undertaker. This was an awesome and perfectly done feud as Shawn was guest referee back at Summerslam and accidentally hit Taker in the head with a chair, costing him the world title to Bret. Taker wanted revenge but Shawn kept running. The solution? Lock them inside Hell. Vince conducts the interview and says the winner of the match gets Bret at Survivor Series.

Taker says that he can never rest in peace, which is bad for Shawn. He’ll enjoy watching Shawn burn though. Cue Shawn who says that he thinks the WWF is trying to give Shawn the shaft. He talks about being put in a no win situation again and that’s not cool with Shawn. He’s won every title there is in the company, and therefore he doesn’t lay down for anyone. Michaels is going to be ready and all Taker has to do is show up.

Sunny comes out to be ring announcer.

Legion of Doom vs. Farrooq/Kama Mustafa

During the LOD’s entrance, we get what can only be described as a bizarre scene from FOX News Now with the LOD in full gear doing a weather forecast. Animal and Kama start things off and trade power moves until Animal hits a powerslam to take over. Off to Hawk vs. Farrooq and it’s more trading of the power moves. Back to Kama so Hawk can hit his jumping fist drop. Everything breaks down and the LOD both hit clotheslines on Farrooq in the corner. They load up the Doomsday Device but the rest of the Nation runs in for the DQ.

Johnson tries to make the save but the Nation is too big so the referees have to break it up.

We get a classic moment of Snuka’s cage dive.

Intercontinental Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Owen Hart vs. Brian Pillman

Owen has a restraining order against Austin so he comes out with a big group of security guards. Pillman has possession of Terri here and has her all sexed up. In this case, that’s a GOOD thing. Her as a reluctant woman here is a good look for her and the story was supposed to be that Terri was going to leave Dustin for Pillman, but Pillman would be dead in 13 days. Pillman claims to have broken his arm while changing positions with Marlena (Terri) last night so he has to forfeit.

Slaughter comes out and says he knows nothing about a broken arm and hasn’t seen an x-ray or heard anything from a doctor. He throws the mic to Pillman and Brian catches it with the arm in a sling, so the match is on. Both guys keep over dramatically breaking in the corner and going at about 1/3 of their usual speed as we take a break. During the break, Marlena apparently hit Owen with her purse and things got a bit more intense. Pillman gets two off a clothesline and they collide when both try cross bodies….and here’s Goldust for the DQ. Too short to rate but Goldust hit Owen so he’s in the finals.

Post match Austin charges in and attacks Owen. Vince says don’t arrest Austin and gets in the ring to yell. Vince tells Austin that people care about him and that he needs to go with it. Austin gets the mic and cuts a pretty famous promo, saying that he’s the best in the world and there’s nothing Vince can do about it. Vince has told Austin to work within the system, but Austin wants nothing to do with the system and for the first time ever, Austin hits the Stunner on Vince, launching perhaps the greatest feud in company history.

Bulldog Bob Brower, a legendary wrestler in Kansas City, died over the weekend.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Dude Love

This is falls count anywhere, which means hardcore for all intents and purposes. HHH wraps a chain around his hand but Dude pops up on the monitor. Love says that the pinfalls in the hot dog stands aren’t his thing, but he knows someone that does dig them, and he brings in Mankind to talk to him. Mankind says he isn’t up for this, so here’s Cactus Jack. They’re all on the same screen at the same time talking to each other, which is some awesome trick photography. The end result is this.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Cactus Jack

MSG, in a word, explodes as this is the first time ever that Cactus has been in the WWF. The ECW chant starts and Cactus hits HHH with a trashcan and a swinging neckbreaker on the concrete for two. Cactus pounds away some more but Chyna hits him in the back and clotheslines him into the crowd. HHH and Cactus brawl into the back and the camera follows them through the curtain. Notice how much more realistic this makes things, as there’s no camera waiting there for them.

HHH rams Cactus into a wall for two and heads back into the arena, but Cactus pulls out a fire extinguisher and blasts HHH into the barricade. The railing is broken down and they head into the ring only to send HHH over the corner and back out to the floor. Cactus tries the elbow off the apron but hits the trashcan from the beginning. Chyna sends him into the steps and we take a break.

Back with HHH beating Jack with a mop and snapping his neck over the ropes to send Jack to the floor. They both head to the apron and Cactus kicks HHH low to send him to the floor. There’s Cactus’ old running sunset flip off the apron for two. Chyna hits Cactus with a chair and gets glared at, but HHH shoves Cactus into Chyna (not knowing she’s there), crushing Chyna against the steps.

The guys fight up the ramp and HHH hits a suplex on the steel for two. HHH finds another trashcan to blast Jack in the head with and there’s a snow shovel for more shots to Jack’s back. The fans want a table but they get HHH slamming Cactus’ head off the steel instead. NOW we get a table, but it’s more like a slab of wood on legs. It’s bending as they get on it and a low blow breaks up the Pedigree. Cactus hits the pulling piledriver through the table and pins HHH to a BIG pop.

Rating: A. This is the match that basically introduced the WWF to hardcore wrestling and the relationship worked well for the next….oh five years or so, with these kind of matches almost always being around in one form or another. On top of that, it was AWESOME with Cactus going insane and HHH channeling the inner evil that would define his character for years to come. This would also be blown away by the same match in the same building in January of 2000. Also note that JR sold this like a war was going on, which you never get anymore.

Video on some sweepstakes.

Andre the Giant slammed Big John Studd at the first Wrestlemania.

We look at the Stunner again. I know it looks bad, but that makes it better as Vince shouldn’t know how to take a move because he’s an announcer/owner.

More stills from One Night Only with Shawn beating Bulldog.

Here’s Shawn with the chair that started everything with Undertaker. Shawn says he’s going to tell us a story about how he became the first and only Grand Slam Champion. Oh cool I love stories about backstage politics. That has to wait though because Shawn wants Undertaker out here right now first. We take a break and come back with no Taker. Taker finally comes out and is immediately blasted from behind by HHH, allowing Shawn to hit Taker with the chair again. Rude joins in and it’s a big beatdown along with Chyna. Taker shrugs it off and chases them off with the chair. The Cell sounds good right about now.

Bret Hart vs. Goldust

Non-title even though Bret is WWF Champion. Before the match, Bret says he doesn’t care who wins in the Cell because he’s not afraid of Taker and he wants to get his hands on Shawn. Goldust is all ticked off because of Pillman and pounds Bret into the corner to start. A clothesline gets two for Goldie but Bret grabs the arm and kicks at Goldust’s leg. Goldust comes back with a rake to the eyes and a slap to the face, but Bret takes the leg out again and goes to work on it as only he can. Or Ric Flair too but this is New York so most people don’t care.

Bret flips off a fan and bends Goldust’s leg around the rope. He snaps the leg over and puts the Figure Four on around the post. Referee: “LET HIM GO!” Bret: “WHY?” Shawn pops up on the ramp and we take a break. Back with Bret working over the leg even more with some punches to the knee. Goldust comes back with a suplex as Shawn is conducting the crowds’ chants about Bret.

They slug it out (Bret and Goldust, not Shawn and the fans) but Bret goes right back to the leg and cannonballs down onto it. Goldie kicks Bret over the top and we head to the floor for more brawling. Bret gets sent into the steps and back inside the bulldog gets two, but Goldust charges into a knee in the corner. The Sharpshooter ends this quick.

Rating: C+. This was one of those matches where you knew who was going to win all along, but they at least had some energy out there. This was around the last time that Bret would ever be motivated in his career, as once he hit WCW it was clear that he didn’t care anymore at all. Goldust was in over his head here but didn’t do badly at all.

Shawn immediately charges the ring and the brawl is on. HHH and Chyna come in for the beatdown but Owen and a limping bulldog come out as well. Rude and Neidhart come out and cancel each other out, but heeeeeeeere’s Taker. House is cleaned and Taker chokeslams Shawn and Bret at the same time to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Not only did we get a great and famous match, not only did we get a famous moment, but I want to go watch Bad Blood now. AWESOME show as the WWF is starting to click again after coming off the awesome Border War (seriously, check that thing out. It’s AMAZING) and WCW is starting to slip a bit as everything is building to Starrcade, but they’re sputtering along the way. Great show here and one of the best episodes of Raw ever.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 22, 2008
Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

This was on my request list for some reason. I’ve done a few shows from around this time lately so maybe it has to do with that. This is a few weeks after Unforgiven so Jericho would be world champion at this point and feuding with Shawn. Other than that I don’t remember a thing about this time so it’ll be interesting to look at. Let’s get to it.

We open with the world title hanging above the ring and a ladder underneath it. Here’s Jericho to some LOUD pyro. Cole says this is the 800th episode. So that’s probably…..WAIT WHAT??? On November 3 of the same year, they would have a big 800th episode celebration with a three hour show. Can’t they even keep their continuity straight for six weeks??? I’m going to have to do every show in the history of Raw to get the right episodes aren’t I?

ANYWAY, Jericho sits on top of the ladder and talks about how Shawn has convinced Mike Adamle to make their match at No Mercy a ladder match. Shawn has claimed that he revolutionized the ladder match and the mindless sheep that the fans are believed him. Just because HBK says something, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Jericho on the other hand is an honest man. The truth is that he’s won three titles in a ladder match. He’s won more ladder matches than Shawn has ever appeared in.

Jericho says the last thing you’ll see at the PPV is this, and he pulls down the title. Shawn attacked him recently but he came back, because he’s just better than Shawn. Jericho keeps talking and is interrupted by….Randy Orton? Jericho starts to call himself champion but Orton cuts him off. He says that if not for him kicking Punk in the head, Jericho wouldn’t be champion. The ladder match doesn’t mean anything because whoever wins is living on borrowed time.

Jericho asks what’s stopping him from punching Orton right now. Punching Shawn’s wife was an accident but this would be on purpose. Randy is still injured here. Orton has spoken to Mike Adamle and anyone that hits him is suspended immediately. Jericho says get well soon and leaves. Orton says he’ll be champion again and throws the ladder out. Randy goes to leave and here’s Punk. Punk gets in his face and slaps him, causing Adamle to come down and suspend him indefinitely.

Now here’s Shane McMahon of all people to dance around on stage in white shoes. Now he dances in the ring a bit. He got a big pop so I can’t complain much here. Apparently he’s here to evaluate Adamle later on. Shane overrules Adamle’s suspension of Punk so Orton yells about that too. The suspension rule is still in effect, but it starts right now. Shane asks Orton to leave and makes Punk vs. Rhodes and Jericho/JBL vs. Batista/Shawn. Shane dances some more and it’s FINALLY over. This segment ran nearly 20 minutes which is WAY too long given what we got out of it.

Cody Rhodes vs. CM Punk

Feeling out process to start. It’s amazing how much bigger this would be in just a few years. Punk uses his strikes to take over, including a spinning elbow to the face. Cody sends him to the outside but Punk kicks him through the ropes. They brawl on the floor before heading back in with Cody hitting a top rope cross body, rolled through for two. Cody hits a few knees, including a big one in the corner for two.

Punk loads up the GTS but Cody escapes and bails to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cody working on the ankle/leg after crotching him during the break. It’s leg lock time as the match slows down. Punk counters that into an ankle lock of all things but Cody makes the rope. The running knee hits but the bulldog is countered of course. GTS gets the pin about a second later.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Cody didn’t mean a thing at this point so the match wasn’t going to be anything good. Punk was really just a glorified upper midcard guy at this point so this didn’t mean much of anything. Somehow Punk wouldn’t get the real revenge he was looking for until 2011.

DiBiase and Manu run in for the beatdown but Kofi makes the save. He and Punk would win the tag titles very soon.

Smackdown ReBound is about Kozlov attacking Jeff Hardy. He also beat up MVP and HHH.

Adamle complains to Shane about being embarrassed out there. Shane says Adamle is doing fine and that he shouldn’t be worried. Kane comes in and wants Mysterio, and he’ll get him at No Mercy apparently. Kane tells Shane to say hi to Linda for him. He leaves and Shane explains the history between himself and Kane.

A photographer is talking to Kelly when Beth and Santino come up. Santino has a facial injury and Kelly laughed last week, so it’s time for pain tonight. He makes fun of Batista who of course pops up behind him. An awkward staredown ensues.

Santino Marella vs. Deuce

We get the Honk-A-Meter prematch but Deuce cuts it off. This is non-title of course. Deuce goes after the injured face and drops a punch for two. Santino rolls him up for the pin out of nowhere. This was like a minute long.

Santino talks about how great Beth is post match.

Kane vs. Evan Bourne

Evan is an ECW guy at this point and is standing in for Mysterio who is still injured. Bourne fires off a kick to the ribs which gets him nowhere, followed by an enziguri to stagger the monster. A Kane powerbomb is countered and Bourne kicks some more. Bourne keeps trying to keep things moving but Kane gets in a single punch to stop the offense dead in its tracks. A big boot misses and Kane gets caught in the ropes. A moonsault to the floor puts Kane down again and the double knees get two. Kane gets in a single uppercut and begins the total destruction. HUGE chokeslam gets the pin.

Rating: C. This was a lot better than I was expecting from it. Bourne is a guy who is small enough to be able to make you feel sorry for him against a monster like this so the crowd was getting into it. On top of that it plays up the Kane vs. small guys feud which is what they’re going with despite it getting annoying. Fun match.

Rey comes out and gets beaten down as well.

Jamie Noble asks Shane for another match with Regal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and introduces himself and leaves. Orton comes up for another distraction and says overturning the suspension wasn’t cool. Shane says it’s cool and that Orton is getting off easily. Orton threatens him so Shane says he’s a fourth generation McMahon. That means something I guess.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth takes him into the corner but Kelly moves out of the way for some speedy gymnastics. Beth comes back with a Buckle Bomb and yells about Batista. Candace is watching in the back. Kelly comes back with a cross body out of the corner for two. Santino’s interference backfires and Kelly gets the rollup for the pin. This was when the Divas were only bad and not horrible yet.

They set to double team Kelly until Batista makes the save. Santino ACTUALLY HITS Batista. Guess how well that goes.

We recap the feud between the Dirt Sheet and Word Up, Cryme Tyme’s show. They had argued for awhile on their shows, resulting in an AWESOME rap video parody by Miz and Morrison. Dirt Sheet and Miz/Morrison were hilarious at this point.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

JTG vs. Morrison to start things off. Miz cheats as is his nature but JTG comes back with a spinning clothesline for two. Shad comes in with a huge gorilla press to send Morrison to the floor. Shad throws JTG onto both of them and we take a break. Back with Morrison holding an armbar on JTG which is quickly broken. Off to Miz for more chinlockery as he prevents the hot tag. The tag goes through a few seconds later and Shad cleans house. Powerslam gets two on Miz. Delayed release gordbuster puts Miz down but Morrison kicks Shad in the head which lets Miz get the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t very good. The problem was that these two were better teams but for some reason neither were tag champions at this point. It’s not that the belts meant anything so it doesn’t really matter but it’s still a pretty stupid miss. Boring match here with the majority of it being spent in chinlocks.

Jericho tries to convince Adamle that Shane is manipulating him. Jericho has an idea but we don’t get to hear it.

We run down the No Mercy card.

Charlie Haas is at Dave and Busters to shill the Mr. Perfect DVD with an imitation. He does the sports bit that Perfect did which is kind of funny.

Shawn Michaels/Batista vs. John Bradshaw Layfield/Chris Jericho/Lance Cade

Jericho’s idea was to make it 3-2 and I guess it worked. Shawn and Cade start things off with Shawn destroying him. Cade reverses a whip and JBL adds a right hand to really give Lance an opening. Off to Jericho for a chinlock and an enziguri puts Shawn down. Off to JBL who hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Back to Cade for more of a beating in the corner. Jericho chokes away as this has been one sided for the most part. Bradshaw comes in and they slug it out but JBL kicks him in the face to put him right back down.

It’s JBL vs. Batista at No Mercy if that clears anything up. Shawn jumps into the fallaway slam but he counters into a DDT to put both guys down. There’s the tag to Batista who cleans house. Spinebuster to Jericho and a powerslam sets up the Shawn elbow. Superkick is countered into a Walls attempt but Shawn rolls him up for two. Everything breaks down and Batista spears JBL outside. Lionsault misses and it’s off to Cade. Forearm puts him down but Jericho’s distraction lets him hit a sitout Rock Bottom to Shawn for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that felt like it belonged at a house show. It wasn’t bad or anything but it just wasn’t interesting. There wasn’t much focus on the JBL vs. Batista match at all and Batista was only in the match for about a minute or so. Not bad, but just kind of there.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t a bad show but it was nothing interesting at all. Nothing really happened and while they pushed No Mercy, this isn’t a show that you would need to see to see No Mercy. Orton was in a weird place here where he was hurt, but it was clear they wanted him to be the #2 heel on the roster. That’s hard to do but they tried hard. It came off as forced though and it didn’t quite work. Pretty meh show.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 15, 2003
Location: Carolina Coliseum, Columbia, South Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

I can understand asking for a 2002 Raw, but 2003? Why would you want to subject yourself to that? I don’t get wrestling fans sometimes. Anyway, this is the go home show for Unforgiven which had a main event of……Goldberg vs. HHH I believe? A check of that would say I’m right, as well as saying that I need to get a life. Let’s get to it.

Eric Bischoff and HHH are in the back and there’s going to be a going away party for Goldberg tonight because HHH is going to destroy him on Sunday.

Theme song. Across the Nation was as good a theme as they’ve ever had.

As the show opens, Jericho and Christian are in the ring with signs demanding that Stone Cold must go. This is an official protest you see. Jericho does the talking and says that Austin is a menace and a horrible GM. Christian says Austin is a joke because he’s keeping Christian off PPVs. They try to start a Stone Cole Must Go chant and here’s Austin. Austin talks about how Jericho slapped him on the back and eventually hurt his feelings. The idea here is that Austin cannot attack anyone unless provoked and he really wants to beat someone up.

Austin says that Christian will be defending on Sunday (that takes about 30 seconds) but doesn’t name an opponent. Instead he’s interested in getting someone to provoke him but as he pulls his fist back, he tells Christian to do it instead. Jericho gets in Austin’s face again and wants the shot at Christian on Sunday. Austin says ok but Jericho has to win the following match first.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Christian tries to get in a cheap shot but gets kicked down instead. Jericho gets dumped to the floor and taken out by a dive as we take a fast break. Back with Van Dam hitting a forearm and the cartwheel moonsault for two. A standing rana (called a moonsault by JR for some reason) gets two for Van Dam so he goes up, only to be shoved off the top by Christian.

Back in and Jericho puts on a chinlock as the fans chant for RVD. Rob fights up and hits a spinwheel kick and that stepover kick of his followed by Rolling Thunder. A flying kick off the top gets two but Jericho rolls through a monkey flip. The Walls don’t work so Jericho hits a sleeper drop for two. Rob tries a springboard kick but the referee gets kicked in the face. Well of course he does. The Lionsault and Five Star both hit knees so Christian comes in and hits both of them with the title so it’s a draw.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad but Jericho was really needing to get the to the Trish storyline to get a recharge at this point. Christian would stay at about this level for awhile until he left for TNA for a few years. Van Dam is Van Dam and that’s about all there is to him. The match itself wasn’t bad but it’s nothing we haven’t seen them do way better at other times.

Austin makes it a triple threat. You know, LIKE EVERY OTHER TRIPLE THREAT.

Video of Goldberg beating Hogan on Nitro.

Spike Dudley vs. Rob Conway

Spike is in a neckbrace and his brothers fight the other members of La Resistance into the crowd. Conway hits a neckbreaker and wins in about 20 seconds.

Post match Conway powerbombs Spike through a table before the Dudleys make the save. The Dudleys would win the tag titles Sunday in a handicap tables match.

Coach and Al Snow suck up to Bischoff but he blows them off as some chick from Tough Enough gives him a note saying there are two women here. I have a bad feeling about this. Regarding Snow and Coach, see they’re the Heat commentators and want to be the Raw commentators so there’s a tag match between the two of them and JR/King on Sunday for the Raw commentary job. Somehow WWE isn’t sure why no one liked 2003.

The two women are of course Moolah and Mae. We’re in South Carolina so you knew this was coming. Moolah wants a match for her 80^th birthday. Austin pops in and says do it and tells Eric to kiss Moolah for luck. Mae Young is there, so you should know what comes next.

Victoria vs. Fabulous Moolah

Victoria hits both Moolah and Mae, but the distraction of Mae lets Moolah roll her up in thirty seconds. That would be two matches that combined to last less than 60 seconds.

Post match Victoria beats both of them up but Randy Orton comes out to save for some reason. Then he realizes they’re legends and RKO’s Moolah.

Goldust/Lance Storm vs. Mark Henry/Rodney Mack

This is when Storm was “just having fun” and would come to the ring dancing to hip hop music. Whoever asked me to review this show, I’d advise you to NOT REQUEST ANOTHER ONE LIKE THIS. Teddy Long manages the team you would expect him to manage, which may or may not be called Thuggin N Buggin Enterprises. Storm and Mack start things off and the fans chant boring, which is the idea behind Storm’s new character. See, Austin told him he was boring and to get a personality.

Storm takes Mack down but Henry hits him in the back of the head to take over. A splash crushed Storm and it’s off to Goldust who almost immediately gets caught in the World’s Strongest Slam for the pin. This actually broke 1:50, so we’re getting closer to a match that’s actually long enough to rate (even the first match barely was as a lot of that was in a lot of that was in a commercial). This would be Goldust’s last match on Raw for about three years.

Evolution (minus Batista who is recovering from injury) is in the back planning for the party for Goldberg later. Orton has to take care of something and runs into Shawn who he faces Sunday. Orton says Shawn made his career out of being a stepping stone and Sunday, he’s going to use Shawn as a stepping stone. Shawn slaps Randy in the face and says Orton better step hard.

Hurricane tries to teach Rosey to fly. Rosey gets a cab instead.

Molly and Gail Kim say their handicap match tonight with Trish is now No Holds Barred. Sure why not.

Here are Kane and Shane McMahon to sign the contract for their last man standing match on Sunday. Shane says he’s taking Kane down on Sunday and signs. There goes the table and the fight is on. Shane hits Kane low several times and gets in a pair of chair shots. With Kane down, Shane pulls the cover off an announce table at ringside that is apparently only here for this segment (JR and King broadcast from up by the stage at this point). Shane puts Kane on the table and hits the big elbow to drive Kane through it.

Gail Kim/Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

No Holds Barred just because. Trish hits a quick double neckbreaker to start and gets down to one on one with Molly. You know, because they have to tag in a no holds barred match. I will say this: Molly is really good looking with black hair. Trish kicks Molly in the face and hits the Stratusphere before it’s off to Gail. Kim takes over with a clothesline and a middle rope legdrop for two. Some heel double teaming allows for a Molly handspring elbow for two. Apparently Molly is Women’s Champion. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Trish rops Molly while trying a spinebuster. The villains double team Trish and the Molly Go Round pins her.

Rating: F. When you hear the words “no holds barred”, you expect more than a generic bad handicap match. The only thing good about this was the girls all looking good, which was the case for most Divas matches back in the day. This division needed a shot in the arm and it needed one in a hurry.

Post match the beating continues and a chair is grabbed, but here’s the returning Lita to make the save. She’s been gone over a year due to a neck injury. If nothing else she looks great in a black bra and tiny shorts.

Post match Gail and Molly are in the back with Eric. Eric says he fired Lita but Austin comes in and says he rehired her. There’s a tag match for Sunday. Gail: “I slept with the wrong general manager.”

Here are Coach and Snow dressed as JR and King respectively. They go to the broken announce table as they’re going to give us a preview of what Raw is like next week. Yeah, THIS is one of the top matches at Unforgiven.

Test vs. Val Venis

Test has Stacy with him as his reluctant love slave or something like that. Test makes Stacy sit down in a chair after hitting Val a few times. Val escapes the pumphandle slam and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Val loads up the Money Shot but Test kicks the referee into the ropes. There’s the Pumphandle Slam but Stacy pulls Test to the floor. Scott Steiner, Stacy’s alleged savior, comes out to distract Test and Stacy crotches her client on the ropes. Val hits a full nelson slam for the surprise pin. Coach and Snow were very annoying on commentary here. Steiner would turn heel and use Stacy just like Test was soon.

Steiner beats up Test post match but Test gets Stacy before he leaves.

Lawler comes out and asks to fight Snow right now. The match is after a break.

Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler

Coach and JR are on commentary here as Lawler controls with some very basic stuff. They slug it out and King hits a DDT for two. Snow comes back with a slam but a suplex is countered into a small package for the pin. This was the last match of the show people. This is the main event. Let that sink in.

Coach hits JR before bailing.

Austin runs into Evolution and says HHH is having the Goldberg party by himself.

Here’s HHH for the farewell. He asks the crowd for a Goldberg chant but they’re not interested. We get music and confetti and balloons because this needs to get stupider. HHH says there are no such things as dynasties in wrestling but he’s the one constant. Apparently the one constant isn’t the mic as it goes out yet we can still hear it on TV. With a new mic, HHH shows off a portrait of Goldberg being bloodied by Evolution. This is going nowhere by the way. Now we get VIDEO of the beating! Goldberg finally pops up on screen and says he’ll win the title before coming out and gorilla pressing HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Despite that TEN MINUTE closing segment, I have zero desire to see either the main event or any of the matches on the show. There are two matches on this show that were long enough to rate: one ended in a draw and one was a no holds barred match that had nothing out of the ordinary. Other than that you have all kinds of stuff like Moolah and Test and the Spike match. Horrible show here and I want nothing to do with Unforgiven or Raw in 2003. Naturally the whole year is on my schedule.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/11/03/unforgiven-2003-i-was-wrong-2002-isnt-the-worst-year-ever-for-wwe/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: September 16, 2013
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the night after Night of Champions and Daniel Bryan is once again WWE Champion in a pretty big surprise. The main story though is the fast count that won Bryan the title as well as the potential controversy due to there being a second referee in the match, even though the original counted the fall. Other than that we have Ryback as the new Heyman guy to help Paul in his war with CM Punk. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from the main events last night, focusing on Ryback joining Heyman and Bryan winning the title.

Here’s Daniel Bryan to open the show with the belt around his waist, I believe for the first time. Bryan looks at the belt before holding it above his head as the music ends. The fans chant for Bryan before he can speak and he calls them awesome. We hit the YES chant but here’s HHH before he can get to ten or so of them. A ticked off Game marches to the ring and says that he needs to address the 800lb gorilla in the ring. Everyone on social media and in the live audience tonight are talking about it, so referee Scott Armstrong needs to get out here right now.

We look at the end of the main event last night with HHH showing the difference between a count for Orton and a count for Bryan with the winning pin being much faster than the other one. Armstrong admits that it was a fast count and that it was a mistake. HHH thinks there’s more to it and Scott apparently says they’re onto us Daniel.

HHH sends Scott away and Bryan is confused. The title is immediately held up but he’s not giving it to Orton either. Bryan refuses to hand it over but here’s a power walking Orton to the ring. HHH says he has this one and tells Bryan to hand over the title before it’s taken from him. Bryan looks at the belt and says NO, only to take the RKO to put him down. Orton stands over Bryan after HHH leaves.

Back with HHH and Stephanie badmouthing Bryan when Orton comes in and demands his title back. Stephanie goes into beast mode to yell at him for his lack of respect. Orton isn’t going to be champion until he finds his old self.

Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title here I believe in a night of Champions rematch. Ziggler is from around these parts so the pop is solid. Feeling out process to start with Ambrose taking him into the corner, only to have Dolph come back with right hands and a shoulder block. A cross body and more right hands have Dan in trouble and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Back in and we hit the sleeper on the champion but Ambrose counters into one of his own. Ziggler jawbreaks out and stomps Dean in the corner, only to be whipped hard over the corner and out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose pounding Dolph down for two before we hit a leg lock with Dean’s knee in Ziggler’s back. Ambrose can’t quite hook a surfboard so he shifts over into a dragon sleeper in a nice quick change to avoid a botch. Ziggler comes back with right hands but gets sent out to the apron. Dean takes him to the top for the back rake and a butterfly superplex for two.

Off to a kind of half nelson arm lock followed by an attempt at a cobra clutch. Ziggler headbutts his way to freedom and a jumping DDT puts both guys down. Dolph rains down rights and lefts in the corner and takes Ambrose down with a clothesline. There are the ten elbow drops which is a good spot but takes too long. Ambrose comes right back with a spinebuster for two before pulling Ziggler off the middle rope with a crash. The bulldog driver is countered and the Zig Zag is good for the pin at 11:55.

Rating: C+. These guys have decent chemistry together but I’m not wild on the pin the champion to get the shot idea. Not only has it been done to death, but it keeps up the 50/50 booking idea which doesn’t do anything for either guy. Still though, decent match and it was a good idea to get Ziggler back on track.

Big Show is in Brad Maddox’s office, waiting on HHH and Stephanie. Back from a brake with the McMahons in the office, apparently having told Brad to make Bryan vs. Reigns tonight. Dusty Rhodes is in the building and HHH goes to meet him. Stephanie reminds us of the Big Show is broke storyline and tells him to stay in her office tonight until she needs him.

We talk about Punk vs. Heyman from last night.

Fandango vs. R-Truth

Yes they’ve somehow gotten two matches out of that dance off from Smackdown. After some quick dancing, Truth takes over with a quick right hand and a hip toss. Fandango is sent to the floor before coming back in with shots to the back. JBL is still complaining about the judge in the Floyd Mayweather fight. We hit the chinlock on truth as Cole explains the opening segment again. Truth comes back with a suplex into a Stunner for two before sending Fandango to the apron. The dancer comes back with an enziguri and the guillotine legdrop for the pin at 3:28.

Rating: D. Well that was boring. Summer Rae looked great but there’s not much else to say about most of these matches. None of these guys ever really go anywhere but at least it’s giving them something to do other than lose to bigger names. The match was nothing though as that dance off’s legs ended about five seconds after the segment from Smackdown stopped.

Dusty Rhodes is in the back and everyone loves him.

Here’s Big Dust for the latest chapter in the McMahons vs. the Rhodes families. Dusty says he’s here tonight as Virgil Runnels, not the American Dream. He talks about raising two good boys and spending all of his money to take care of them. Somehow though you find your way to do it because of the love you have for your boys. This isn’t about Dusty but rather about Cody losing his job for the sake of good business.

Dusty talks about how important children are to anyone and about Cody being a multiple time Intercontinental and world (tag team) champion before he was 22 years old. Dusty didn’t ask for this meeting but apparently has been given a business offer to get Cody’s job back, so Stephanie needs to get out here to make the offer.

Stephanie tells Virgil (just call him Dusty) that it’s an honor to see him and has a Bed Bath and Beyond gift card for Cody’s wedding gift. Stephanie talks about Dusty being the son of a plumber. “I can relate to that. I’m the daughter of a genius.” She and HHH are willing to offer Cody his job back, or they can give it to Goldust. It’s up to dusty but he refuses to make the decision.

They both talk over each other until Stephanie says he can pick the son who has done everything right or the son who he neglected all those years. Dusty asks about Stephanie’s daughters and says she can’t pick one of them to be her favorite so he’s not picking Goldust or Cody. Stephanie says it’s typical Dusty for him to make it all about himself. Dusty tells Stephanie where she can go….and here’s Shield.

They surround the ring but Stephanie calls them off. She tells Big Show to come to the ring and says Dusty has another choice: take the beating from Shield or be knocked out by Big Show. Again Dusty won’t pick so Stephanie tells Big Show to knock him out. Show starts crying again so Shield is told to go after Dusty. Show says no so Shield all gets chairs but Show hugs Dusty and knocks him, only to hug him down to the ground before Dusty collapses.

Post break Dusty is taken to an ambulance and Big Show rides with him.

Brie Bella/Cameron/Naomi vs. Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox

AJ and Natalya are on commentary as Naomi starts with Layla. Off to Cameron as apparently Natalya’s headset doesn’t work. Layla kicks Cameron in the ribs to take over and it’s off to Aksana for some choking in the corner. Alicia comes in for a single whip into the corner before it’s back to Layla. The “wrestlers” work over Cameron and Natalya finally gets a headset to complain about AJ causing the audio problems. Everything breaks down and Brie hits an X Factor for the pin on Aksana at 2:58. This was a mess.

We look at how Sandow won MITB by showing Rhodes down for some reason.

Damien Sandow vs. Rob Van Dam

Sandow knocks him down into the corner to start and drives in some left hands for two. The Russian legsweep and the Wind-Up elbow are good for two and we hit the chinlock. Rob easily fights up and hits a hurricanrana followed by some kicks to the face to take Sandow down. Rolling Thunder hits knees to give Damien two and the stepover kick puts Damien down. A Five Star keeps Damien as a loser at 2:40. Sandow’s music plays at first in an error.

The announcers recap the show so far.

Scott Armstrong comes in to apologize to HHH and gets fired.

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Miz’s family is in the front row when Orton jumps him and rams Miz into the steps. Orton destroys him and we take a break. Back with Miz pounding away but getting stopped cold by a clothesline. The Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the apron and a neck snap across the top rope. Miz is holding his left arm as they head to the floor with Orton being rammed into whatever object Miz can find. Randy comes back by sending Miz into the post and it’s a double countout at about 4:00 with maybe 1:00 shown. Nothing to see here.

Orton pounds away on Miz even more, only to have Miz come back with right hands of his own. Randy sends him into the barricade and gives Miz an Elevated DDT onto the concrete right in front of Miz’s parents. Randy still isn’t done as he grabs a chair and Pillmanizes Miz’s neck (the knee drop clearly hit Miz’s back).

Here are Ryback and Heyman with Paul in a wheelchair being pushed by Axel. Heyman is shaking and talks about the seven deadly sins and how many heathens there are here in Cleveland. There are so many people here who can never come close to doing what Heyman has done, such as pinning CM Punk. He can say it over and over again but every time it will be the truth. No matter how Punk tries to spin it, the record books will say Heyman won their first encounter.

Heyman would love to take credit for having some master plan but he has to stop for a Goldberg chant. Punk gave him a horrendous beating last night and it’s a miracle that he’s not in a nursing home right now. He pulled this off because one man took the initiative to change history. One man decided to stop Punk from destroying Heyman and it’s this big beautiful man right here. Heyman owes Ryback his life and he’ll continue to torment CM Punk for as long as he can. Ryback says he can’t stand a bully like CM Punk and he’s here to stop him. Ryback drops to a knee to put his arm around Heyman, earning a kiss on the cheek.

Tons of Funk vs. Real Americans vs. Usos

This is elimination rules and the winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Brodus knocks Swagger to the floor to start and the Real Americans have a huddle. Back in and Swagger tags in Jimmy Uso to face Brodus with Jimmy hitting whatever fast strikes he can to take over. Brodus casually catches a cross body and slams him down a few times. A backbreaker and elbow drop crush Jimmy but Cesaro tags himself in.

Jimmy takes Antonio down with a jumping elbow to the face and it’s off to Jey with a clothesline for two. A hard European uppercut knocks Jey down but he manages a tag to Tensai a few seconds later. Tensai hits a delayed butterfly suplex on Cesaro while not even looking like he’s straining. Cesaro gets clotheslined to the floor but Jimmy tagged himself in on the way down. Tensai pounds way on Jimmy but misses a splash in the corner. A hard clothesline puts Jimmy down and a bad looking choke bomb looks to get the pin, only to have Cesaro roll Tensai up for the elimination at 4:40.

Cesaro dropkicks Jimmy to the floor and we take a break. Back with Swagger holding both of Jimmy’s arms back. Apparently we missed the long giant swing from Cesaro during the break. Nice job on that WWE. The Vader Bomb crushes Jimmy and Cesaro jumps over Swagger’s shoulder for a double stomp to the chest. We hit the chinlock and the fans start chanting Randy Savage. Jimmy finally dives over for the hot tag to Jey who comes in off the top with a clothesline to Swagger.

Everything breaks down and a kick to the face gets two on Jack. The Usos hit a double plancha to the floor to take out the Real Americans in a cool spot. Back in and Jimmy gets caught in the Patriot Lock but he finally kicks away and superkicks Swagger down. The Superfly Splash is broken up by the running belly to belly but Jey tags himself in and hits the Superfly Splash for the pin and the title shot at 13:15.

Rating: C+. We didn’t need Tons of Funk but the second half of the match was really good stuff. Tag matches are a simple way to fire up the crowd and power vs. speed is the best formula you can use. The ending was great, the dives were great and the match (at least after the break) was really fun. Good stuff here.

Miz has an injured thorax and Dusty is being held overnight for observations.

The WWE loves reading!

Bray Wyatt talks about everyone wanting more and more of everything. There’s another world beyond ours and in his world, you put an animal out of its misery when it can’t find its way around. Bray asks if we want to see something really scary and we get a montage of him hitting Sister Abigail on everyone. He promises Abigail to put everyone down and smiles at the camera.

We look at Dusty being knocked out earlier.

People encourage Daniel Bryan in the back.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Rollins, Ambrose and Orton are all at ringside. Bryan fires off kicks in the corner to start before ramming Reigns’ head into the other buckle. Reigns ducks the clothesline so Bryan goes back to the leg with a dragon screw leg whip. Bryan goes after the leg but Roman kicks him away. Reigns sends him into the corner but Bryan comes back with even more kicks. Off to a leg lock with Bryan dropping forearms to Roman’s jaw. Roman finally gets up and drives Daniel into the corner and clotheslines him down to take over.

We hit the chinlock on Bryan but he gets back up and hits a knee into Reigns’ knee to take him down. Reigns hits a knee to the chest of his own but Bryan casually leg dives him down again. Now let’s look at the fast count from last night because that story hasn’t been driven into us in awhile. Reigns slams him down for two and now we look at the regular speed count AND the fast count. NOW THEY’RE SIDE BY SIDE!!! Reigns powers Bryan down into a chinlock but Daniel comes back with the missile dropkick to send Roman to the floor, only to have the FLYING GOAT caught in mid air. Bryan is rammed into the post as we take a break.

Back with Reigns placing Bryan on the top rope but Bryan punches his way out of a superplex attempt. The flying headbutt misses though and Reigns gets a two count. Roman talks a lot of trash and catches a charging Bryan in a spinning Rock Bottom for two. Bryan fights out of another chinlock and backflips over Reigns to hit the running clothesline. Here come more kicks but Reigns catches the big one in a Samoan drop. Orton is now standing and looking nervous.

Reigns calls for the powerbob but Bryan counters into a rollup for two. The BIG kick to the head gets two for Bryan and Reigns rolls to the floor. Bryan hits an insanely hard baseball slide dropkick to take out Rollins but he takes too long knocking Ambrose down and gets caught by a big running clothesline from Reigns. Not that it matters as Bryan hooks the YES Lock, drawing in Orton for the DQ at 18:20.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff but it went on a bit too long. Reigns isn’t ready to go nearly twenty minutes on his own yet but he certainly didn’t look bad. That’s a good sign as he’s got more to him than just the power and look, which is rare for a guy that size. Good main event here and a good performance from Reigns. Bryan was his usual self.

Post match Orton gets caught in the YES Lock but Shield makes the save. Orton and SHield beat Bryan down and they load up the chair around Bryan’s neck but the entire midcard plus Dolph Ziggler and RVD come out for the save. Reigns spears Kingston down but Ziggler and RVD knock Ambrose to the floor. A double superkick from the Usos take out Reigns and Bryan hits the running knee to Rollins. Eveyrone puts Bryan on their shoulders for a celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. A lot of stuff happened here and it makes for an interesting set up to Battleground. The title being stripped was pretty clear given how things went last night but I didn’t think it would happen that fast. The ending was what we’ve been waiting on since Summerslam and it worked very well. The Dusty’s Choice segment was awesome stuff but Orton trying to be all aggressive didn’t work all that well. I mean….it’s Miz. Also, an injured thorax? You can’t say chest anymore? It’s a good show with some good wrestling, but as usual there’s too much here to drag it to three hours.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Dean Ambrose – Zig Zag

Fandango b. R-Truth – Guillotine legdrop

Brie Bella/Cameron/Naomi b. Aksana/Layla/Alicia Fox – Bella Buster to Aksana

Rob Van Dam b. Damien Sandow – Five Star Frog Splash

Randy Orton vs. The Miz went to a double countout

Usos b. Real Americans and Tons of Funk – Superfly Splash to Swagger

Daniel Bryan b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Randy Orton interfered

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