Monday Night Raw – January 22, 2007: The Rumbley One

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 22, 2007
Location: Cajundome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble but you might not know it by watching the previous shows. The Rumble itself has barely been mentioned as most of the focus has been on Umaga vs. John Cena for the World Title. That’s not a bad move, but it is a bit of a weird one. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory Of Bam Bam Bigelow. That’s a hard one.

We open with a recap of Rated-RKO taking out some of Shawn Michaels’ friends last week but getting taken out by Shawn himself in the main event.

Here is Shawn Michaels to get things going. Last week, he felt a feeling that he has tried to overcome for years. He does not like those feelings coming back but those days of stopping are gone. Shawn feels like he can be WWE Champion again and that starts this Sunday by winning the Royal Rumble. May God have mercy on the 29 other entrants who dare to get in his way and no mortal man is going to get in his way….but here is Edge to interrupt.

Edge talks about how he is the one who is going to win the Royal Rumble because he has been to the top of the mountain twice, but Shawn tells him to shut up. The fight is on and security can’t break it up. We take a break and come back with the break still on in the back and security still not being much good.

Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Mercury

Non-title and this is Raw vs. Smackdown as Jeff wants revenge on Mercury for helping take out Matt Hardy on Friday. Johnny Nitro and Melina are here too but Jeff throws Mercury in to start in a hurry. Mercury gets in a shot so Nitro pulls the mat back on the floor. That’s enough for an ejection but Mercury is able to grab Jeff’s face and rip away. Jeff fights up with some elbows to the face into the Whisper in the Wind. The Twist of Fate drops Mercury on his damaged face to give Jeff the fast pin.

Post match Jeff gets out of there before Nitro and Melina can get back.

Jonathan Coachman comes in to see Vince McMahon and has an idea for tonight. He’ll throw Shawn Michaels and Edge out, but Vince makes a street fight instead. In addition, Vince has an announcement to make in the ring.

Here are Vince and Coach for a chat. Vince talks about reading Donald Trump’s letter last week, so tonight he is going to read his own letter to Trump. The letter talks about Trump’s TV ratings being awful, but they will go up when Vince guest stars on the Apprentice. He is the reason for Raw’s ratings success, and it could be due to his good looks, his charisma, or his Herculean physique. The people love him and he loves them back. Fans: “A**HOLE!” Vince: “You’re making it tough to love you back!”

Vince promises to show his love for the people next week but here is John Cena to interrupt. Cena wants to know when Vince became Brother Love and tells him to stop yapping about Donald Trump. It’s like Vince is obsessed with him and an obsessed Vince McMahon is never a good thing. Cena: “Remember that obsession you had with starting your own football league?” Cena compares Vince and Trump, with Coach saying Trump does everything bigger than Vince, including having more money. That’s too far for Vince, who makes Cena vs. Coach for tonight.

Chris Masters vs. Super Crazy

Masters jumps him to start but Crazy hits a quick middle rope crossbody. Crazy gets thrown down again and the stomping is on in a hurry. Back up and Crazy slugs away, including a spinwheel kick, which has Lawler thinking Crazy is “all jacked up on Mountain Dew.” Masters catches him coming out of the corner with the Masterlock but Crazy climbs the corner and drops back onto him for the pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go very far but Crazy wins to give him a little momentum. WWE seems interested in pushing him and he hasn’t done badly at all in response. I could go for a bit more of him and the fans seem to like him well enough. Granted it isn’t hard to get cheered against Masters, so the pairing does make sense.

Coach tries to convince Vince McMahon that he is way richer than Donald Trump but Vince is more worried about showing the fans how he appreciates them next week. Oh and Coach’s match with Cena is still on.

Kenny Dykstra insists that he is going to win the Royal Rumble on Sunday. He defeated Ric Flair three times so he knows he can do it. Maria doesn’t seem convinced but Dykstra says this is going to be his year.

A very banged up Randy Orton isn’t happy with Edge for leaving him to get mauled by Shawn Michaels last week. Edge tries to explain what happened and wants to know if Orton has his back in getting rid of Shawn Michaels tonight. Orton says we’ll wait and see as you can feel the tension.

John Cena vs. Jonathan Coachman

Non-title. Actually hang on a second as Coach has another idea: we’re going to have a Royal Rumble, and if Cena wins, THEN he can face Coach one on one. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch are here first and the double teaming is on in a hurry, including a bunch of right hands. Cade drops Murdoch down into a legdrop on Cena and the beating is on in the corner. Cena fights out of said corner and tosses Murdoch without much effort.

Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas are in next, with Viscera following shortly thereafter. Cade comes back in to help hold Cena down for Viscera’s elbow. Cue Great Khali to starts clearing the ring until Viscera and Cena are the only others left. A big boot drops Viscera and Khali tosses him, allowing Cena to come in off the top with a shoulder. That has almost no effect so Khali hits a clothesline and tosses him out for the win.

Rating: D+. This was much more of an angle than a match and that’s all it needed to be. Khali is becoming a player in a hurry because he is pretty easy to push. You can probably pencil him in for a title program soon after Wrestlemania is over and I’ve heard far worse ideas. Not much of a match of course, but at least it had a point.

Post match Khali runs Cena over again and drops him with ease, allowing Coach to run in for two. Cue Umaga to jump Cena from behind and I guess that’s a DQ? Either way, Umaga splashes Cena through a table to crush his ribs. It takes a long time to get rid of Umaga and Cena has to be helped to the back.

Candice Michelle/Mickie James vs. Victoria/Melina

This is Candice’s return after Victoria broke her nose, meaning a lot of nose pointing ensues. Mickie starts fast with a basement dropkick to Melina and we get the required spank. A hurricanrana sends Melina flying out of the corner but Victoria pulls Mickie down from the apron. There’s a double wishbone to keep Mickie in trouble and Melina chokes in the ropes, sending Lawler into hysterics.

Mickie avoids Victoria’s running charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Candice to start cleaning house. A dropkick puts Melina down but Victoria hits a heck of a knee to the face. Mickie comes in for the save and dives onto Melina, leaving Candice to hit a middle rope….uh….I guess we’ll say elbow for the pin on Victoria.

Rating: D. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This was about getting Candice out there to show off what seems to be her new cosmetic enhancements and rather limited outfit. Candice is absolutely trying but there is a bit of a way to go between effort and success. Pretty bad match, but you can almost guarantee that Candice is getting a push in a hurry.

Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito, who sends Kenny into the corner without much effort. Kenny is right back with a dropkick into a chinlock but Carlito gets to his feet and hammers away. A springboard back elbow drops Kenny but he grabs a rollup into a pinfall reversal sequence. Kenny finally grabs the trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here with Dykstra getting a win over someone other than Ric Flair. It doesn’t make things that much better for him as all of the problems are still there, but at least they are trying with someone else. At the same time, Carlito is still about as uninteresting as you can get, which has been the case for a long time now.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. Shawn Michaels from last week in the same video that started the show.

Cryme Tyme is selling Royal Rumble numbers to Eugene and Super Crazy. Since he is crazy, Crazy will take any number. Crazy is rather pleased with his number and Eugene gets #30. Hold on though as Cryme Tyme explains that he really wants to be #1…..which he can be for another $50. Eugene leaves, and we find out that not only are the numbers not real, but Eugene isn’t even in the number. Also, they sold the painting The Scream and it wasn’t real either. Cryme Tyme leaves and it turns out that Ron Simmons bought said painting. Guess what he has to say.

Royal Rumble Rundown.

We look back at Cena being taken out. Cena may have a ruptured spleen.

We look back at Edge and Shawn Michaels brawling earlier tonight.

Shawn Michaels vs. Edge

Street fight and they’re both in street clothes. Shawn wins the early slugout and pulls Edge’s belt off for a whipping. The weapons are brought in but Edge knocks him out of the air with a trashcan lid. We take a break and come back with Edge busted open and hitting him in the ribs with something made of metal.

Edge gets creative by superplexing a ladder onto Shawn for two but a powerbomb is broken up with some right hands to the head. The comeback is on with Shawn hitting the atomic drop. A chain is wrapped around Edge’s eyes and now he is busted open as well. Shawn drops Edge onto a ladder bridged over two sets of steps but Edge gets up to catch Shawn on top.

That doesn’t make a difference either though as Shawn drops Edge ribs first onto the ladder again. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Edge reverses into something like an electric chair (Edge tried to pick him up but dropped Shawn on the way to the shoulders). The spear is countered into the Thesz press though and Shawn grabs a chair to knock Edge silly. Another Conchairto is loaded up but here is Randy Orton to hit the RKO and give Edge the pin.

Rating: B. These two getting some time in a violent match is always going to work and that was the case here. It felt like a main event and the two of them beat each other up for about fifteen minutes. The ending makes sense given what they are doing as Edge and Orton want to destroy Shawn, but Orton is going to mess with Edge on the way there if he can.

Post match Orton throws Edge over the top but here are Ric Flair, Kenny Dykstra and Carlito in a row. Shawn comes back up with some Sweet Chin Musics

Overall Rating: D+. The main event was the only worthwhile thing on this show as the Royal Rumble only needs so much of a build. Umaga injuring Cena was a good angle but other than that and the main event, there wasn’t much to see on the whole thing. It isn’t that surprising as the pay per view is set, but it would have been nice to have more than one good match in two hours.

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Monday Night Raw – June 21, 2021: Quality Qualifying

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 21, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Jimmy Smith

We’re done with the Cell and that means it is time to start getting ready for Money in the Bank. That means a lot of qualifying matches before we have a series of matches with the people building momentum, whatever that means going into a ladder match. Other than that, Bobby Lashley needs a new challenger after beating Drew McIntyre again. Let’s get to it.

Here is Hell In A Cell if you need a recap.

The briefcases and the Cell are above the ring and the MONEYMONEYMONEYMONEYMONEY song is back, because there are two songs ever for that show.

Here are Bobby Lashley and MVP, flanked by his latest group of women, for the VIP Lounge. MVP brags about Lashley retaining and hands him the floor. Lashley says he was pushed to his limit last night but proved that he is still the Almighty. They brag about their win and load up a toast but here is the New Day to interrupt, complete with a plate of toast. Said toast is thrown into the ring, prompting MVP to talk about how this is more proof of what goofs these two are.

MVP accuses Kofi Kingston of not taking things seriously and hanging out with his video game obsessed friend. Kofi says not so fast but Lashley talks about being on a higher level than the two of them. That makes Kofi laugh as he talks about becoming WWE Champion at Wrestlemania XXXV and then beating Lashley last week. We see a clip of said loss and Lashley isn’t cool with that. The challenge is on Lashley accepts for Money in the Bank, but he wants to make sure it’s one on one. Therefore, he can beat up Xavier Woods tonight.

That’s cool with Woods, who cuts off MVP from talking down to him. Woods runs down his own accolades, which mainly include being on YouTube and G4. Oh and let’s make tonight’s match inside the Cell. I’m surprised they didn’t put a USA NETWORK APPROVED sticker on the screen, as that could not be more of WWE appeasing them over FOX getting a Cell match if they tried.

Earlier today, AJ Styles ran into the Viking Raiders and promised to become the new Mr. Money in the Bank. He’s so sure that he’ll beat them for the Tag Team Titles soon after, but the Raiders aren’t convinced. AJ slaps the turkey leg out of Ivar’s hand but violence is held back.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Ricochet vs. AJ Styles

Ricochet knows what it takes to get to the WWE Title match and he’ll show why he’s something special. AJ gets sent to the apron to start and a springboard kick to the face puts him on the floor. Ricochet misses a springboard moonsault though and gets posted hard as we take an early break.

Back with AJ dropping Ricochet again but a shot to the face rocks Styles for a change. There’s a crossbody to send AJ into the corner and a running clothesline catches him for a bonus. Back to back suplexes give Ricochet two but AJ scores with a kind of torture rack powerbomb for his own near fall.

A strike off goes to Ricochet, who ducks the Pele Kick and grabs a bridging German suplex for two more. AJ grabs the fireman’s carry backbreaker but here are the Viking Raiders to go after Omos. A missed charge sends Omos through the barricade though and the distraction lets Ricochet counter the Phenomenal Forearm into the Recoil for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C+. I’m rather glad to see Ricochet getting his chance and it isn’t like AJ needs to be in Money in the Bank when he might be defending the Tag Team Titles on the same show. Ricochet is a perfect person to put in this kind of a match and giving him a win over AJ isn’t such a big upset that it is too much to believe.

Riddle, now with RKBro merchandise (including a bag and a coffee cup) talks to Randy Orton about wanting to put a stash of Burger King Whoppers in the briefcase when one of them win it tonight. Orton: “RIDDLE! WHAT DO YOU WANT???” Riddle asks for some pointers and dances a bit while waiting. Orton tells him to stay out of his way, which Riddle thinks will be difficult if they’re both in the ladder match. Riddle thinks it would be awesome if they are both in the match, but Orton disagrees and walks off.

We look at Eva Marie’s return with her unnamed partner.

Eva Marie, while getting the interviewer’s name wrong, says that she had a cold last week to prevent her from getting in the ring. That’s why she had a substitute, in the form of….Doudrop. Well of course it is.

Money In The Bank Qualifying Match: Eva Marie/Doudrop vs. Asuka/Naomi

Eva starts with Asuka and tags out immediately, as you would expect. Asuka can’t do much with Doudrop to start so it’s off to Naomi, as Eva drops down to the floor. Doudrop plants Naomi and hits the Cannonball in the corner, but Eva tags herself in as Doudrop goes up. This time it’s Doudrop heading to the floor as Eva reaches for the tag, meaning Naomi can grab a rollup for the pin at 2:50. That’s a change of pace and they have me curious so well done.

Eva is stunned and Doudrop smiles at her.

We look back at Charlotte beating Rhea Ripley last night via DQ, because Charlotte needed to win as the feud is extended.

We look back at the opening segment to set up the Cell match tonight.

Here are Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to deal with the Rhea Ripley/Charlotte fallout. Ripley comes out and wants to know why that was a DQ, but here is Charlotte to promise to destroy Ripley soon. Deville gets to the point and makes the rematch for Money in the Bank. They kept this really short here and there wasn’t much of a reason not to.

We recap the Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Tamina/Natalya, including Natalya beating Rose last night.

Tamina and Natalya were having a photo shoot when an interview broke out. Hold on though, as they were distracted by Rose and Brooke training in the nearby ring. Natalya said they were trying to have an interview (not exactly) and another fight was teased. Mandy and Dana kicked them off the apron and got rather smug.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Randy Orton vs. John Morrison

Miz is on commentary. Morrison takes Orton down to start and a kick to the head gets an early two. An armbar has Orton in more trouble but he fights up and takes it to the floor. Morrison sends him into the announcers’ table a few times but Orton does it far more times, setting up a belly to back drop onto the table.

We take a break and come back with Orton stomping away and grabbing his own chinlock. Morrison fights up and hits a springboard kick to the face to send things outside. Orton’s hand is slammed into the steps, setting up an armbar so we can get an inset ad for Fast and Furious 9.

Back to full screen with Morrison staying on the arm but Orton fights up and hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up but Miz fires off the Drip Stick, allowing Morrison to grab a rollup for two. An uppercut sends Morrison to the apron but here is Riddle for a slow speed chase after Miz. The distraction lets Morrison kick Orton down and hit Starship Pain for the pin at 12:20.

Rating: C-. This was similar to Ricochet beating Styles as it is an upset but it isn’t an earth shattering upset. Morrison being in the ladder match is a bit more interesting than Orton as it gives the chance of something fresh getting into the main event scene, even if Morrison has absolutely no chance of winning. The Drip Stick is a bit stupid, but that’s kind of the point of Miz and Morrison so it’s hard to complain that much.

We recap Alexa Bliss using her mind control powers to control Nia Jax and beat Shayna Baszler.

Nia Jax says she won’t attack Reginald again tonight. Shayna Baszler insists that she isn’t scared of anyone in the locker room and no one is stopping them from qualifying for Money in the Bank. Jax says there is something different about Alexa Bliss.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Alexa Bliss/Nikki Cross vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Bliss has new music, featuring her talking a lot. Before the match, Nikki Cross talks about how she is trying to stand out and needs something to find a way to succeed despite her shortcomings. Therefore, she now has a mask and superhero costume while saying she is embracing her spirit. So she’s Scottish Mighty Molly?

Baszler drives Cross into the corner to start and sends her to the apron. A slingshot Oklahoma roll gets two on Baszler so it’s off to Jax. Cross sends her outside where we pause so Bliss can mind control Reginald. Baszler and Jax talk him out of it but Cross dives onto all three as we take a break.

Back with Bliss hitting her moonsault knees on Baszler but Jax comes back in to take over. Baszler chokes on the ropes and grabs the chinlock for a bit. Bliss fights up and gets in a shot to the face, allowing the hot tag to Cross. House is cleaned for all of a few moments but Jax takes her into the corner. Baszler nearly hits Jax by mistake and the weekly argument is on. Bliss uses the distraction to control Reginald, who can’t bring himself to slap Jax. The distraction lets Cross grab La Majistral to pin Baszler at 10:09, because Nia Jax is just there to stand around while Baszler gets pinned.

Rating: C. There is a lot here, as Bliss continues her mind control deal, which I’ll still take over the Lily nonsense. At the same time, it’s really, really annoying to have Baszler become the designated jobber, as these stupid arguments between her and Jax continue. That has been their thing since they came together and it hasn’t been that interesting since it started. On the other hand, you have Cross FINALLY getting some TV time. Yeah the superhero deal is kind of dumb, but I’ll take that over her sitting on the sidelines doing nothing.

Drew McIntyre promises to fight despite being banged up, even quoting Winston Churchill.

Jinder Mahal, with lackeys, Jeff Hardy, Cedric Alexander and Sheamus are arguing about who should be competing for Money in the Bank. Sonya Deville doesn’t want to hear it and the decisions are final. Sheamus brings up being US Champion and thinks he should be in automatically. Adam Pearce takes that to mean Sheamus’ nose is healed and he can defend his title. Sheamus panics and goes off to find his doctor. Mahal complains about not being in and suggests he should be the alternate. Everyone leaves.

Money in the Bank Qualifying Match: Riddle vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew, with his wrecked back, goes for the grappling to start so Riddle goes to the ropes. With that not working, McIntyre blasts him with a clothesline and fires away in the corner. There’s the big toss across the ring for two on Riddle and a toss suplex gives Drew the same. An elbow to the face gives Drew two more but Riddle pulls him off the middle rope for a crash. There’s the Broton to set up the gutwrench suplex, banging up Drew’s back again.

Another one is countered into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to send Riddle outside. That’s fine with Riddle, who snaps off a belly to belly as we take a break. Back with Drew fighting out of a chinlock but Riddle gets in a shot to the back to put him down again. The Broton hits raised knees though and it’s an overhead belly to belly into a neckbreaker.

Somehow Drew nips up and the reverse Alabama Slam gets a slightly delayed two. Riddle is taken up top but he manages to crotch Drew….who lifts himself up for the release German superplex anyway. Cue Randy Orton to watch and we take another break. Back again with Riddle reversing a super White Noise into a sunset bomb, followed by a knee to the face for two.

Drew grabs a Michinoku Driver for two and goes up, only to dive into a triangle choke. That’s reversed into a Futureshock for two but Riddle collapses before the Claymore can launch. There’s a ripcord knee to McIntyre but the Floating Bro misses. The Claymore is countered into the Bromission, which is countered as well. The Glasgow Kiss looks to set up an electric chair but Riddle reverses into a victory roll for the pin at 22:49.

Rating: B. This worked well, as McIntyre tried to fight through the pain but still lost in the end. The fact that McIntyre almost never loses a match clean makes this all the more interesting and Riddle gets to continue his rise back to being something. I’m curious to see where McIntyre goes from here, but he has been on top long enough that a step down isn’t going to hurt him.

Post match Riddle scooters up the ramp but Randy Orton isn’t pleased. Riddle: “Randy what’s wrong? You can always talk to me Bro.” Orton looks at him but Riddle still can’t get a fist bump.

We recap Elias vs. Jaxson Ryker, with Elias running away twice in a row.

Ryker is whipping himself with a strap when Mansoor comes up to ask for some advice. That doesn’t seem to sit well so Mansoor leaves, but Ryker says never let your enemy escape. More often than not, those closest to you are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Next week, it’s Elias vs. Ryker in a strap match. Elias is all about the music, and next week, the big hit will be the strap against Elias’ flesh.

Mansoor goes to leave when he runs into Mustafa Ali, who says Mansoor is asking the wrong people. Why are people in the Money in the Bank qualifying matches stealing spots from the two of them? If they don’t get the chance to climb the ladder of success, you have to build your own ladder. Ryker whips himself some more.

The Cell is lowered.

Bobby Lashley vs. Xavier Woods

Non-title with MVP and Kofi Kingston here as well. Woods tries to start fast but gets powered out to the floor. That means it’s time for a chair, which Lashley punches into Woods’ face. The running charge hits the post though and Woods is able to dropkick Lashley into the Cell twice in a row. A running chair shot drops Lashley again and we take a break.

Back with Lashley hammering away until Woods misses a charge and falls out to the floor. Woods’ charge lets Lashley tie him in the ring skirt though and the beating is on again. Lashley stops to yell at Kofi though and Woods gets back inside. A forearm to the leg cuts Lashley down for a second and Woods gets in a hard kendo stick shot. Woods gets in more shots with the stick on the floor and a victory roll faceplant is good for two back inside.

A tornado DDT gives Woods two more so he sets up a table. Lashley’s quick powerbomb attempt is broken up and a superkick puts him on said table. The rope walk elbow sends Lashley through the table for two (with Woods almost overshooting him) but Lashley sends him face first into a chair in the corner. The spear sets up the Hurt Lock to finish Woods at 13:37.

Rating: C+. This was another match that didn’t need to be in the Cell as it was little more than a street fight for the most part. The fact that it was the fourth match in the Cell in four days didn’t help either, but I would bet on this being a way to appease USA more than anything else. There was never any doubt here and that’s ok, as Woods got to look good for a bit.

Post match the beating stays on with MVP getting inside the Cell and locking it back. Lashley puts Woods up against the Cell as Kofi can’t do anything to end the show. That was an effective use of the Cell for a change, though I’m not sure why Kofi didn’t get the referee to unlock the door again.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, Raw is better when they have somethi0ng going through the course of the show to keep them from going way off course. That was the case here with a slate of mostly good qualifying matches, though you can’t do that every week. Money in the Bank is starting to take a nice shape, but there is a long time to go and that is where WWE can get in trouble. Good enough show this week though, and a FAR better version of Raw than usual.

Results
Ricochet b. AJ Styles – Recoil
Naomi/Asuka b. Eva Marie/Doudrop – Rollup to Marie
John Morrison b. Randy Orton – Starship Pain
Nikki Cross/Alexa Bliss b. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax – La Majistral to Baszler
Riddle b. Drew McIntyre – Victory roll
Bobby Lashley b. Xavier Woods – Hurt Lock

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – January 15, 2007: Vince Is Gonna Vince

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 15, 2007
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We are on the way to the Royal Rumble though you might not know it based on how the last few weeks have gone. Instead, the last few weeks have focused on various celebrities, or at least celebrity impersonators in last week’s case. The actual wrestling stories coming out of last week saw a likely rematch being set up between John Cena and Umaga for the Raw World Title, and Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO this week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with the traditional Martin Luther King Jr. Day video. That’s a rather nice tradition for the show.

Here is John Cena to get things going and we’ve got a contract signing. Boss Jonathan Coachman brings out Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada and Umaga turns the chair over in a hurry. Coach has an idea to make the match special, so Estrada gets to pick the stipulation. Estrada doesn’t want another fluke win, so we’ll be having a Last Man Standing match.

Since Umaga is, you know, a savage, Estrada signs for him, but Cena says he must be crazy to do this. Well sure why not, so Cena signs and then dives onto Umaga to start the fight. They go to the floor and Cena hits him in the head with the steps. Back in and the FU puts Estrada through the table. Counting the King video and the opening, we are done with this segment about ten minutes into the show. I can absolutely go with that kind of efficiency for a contract signing.

Johnny Nitro/Melina vs. Jeff Hardy/Maria

Maria doing Jeff’s entrance dance is certainly a sight. Nitro bails from the threat of an early Twist of Fate attempt so it’s off to Melina. Maria comes in and bulldogs her out of the corner for two but Nitro trips her from the apron. We hit the reverse chinlock to put Maria down for a change but she counters a backbreaker into a headscissors. It’s off to Nitro so Maria kicks him in the shin, allowing Jeff to hit the Whisper in the Wind. Maria takes Melina outside, leaving Jeff to break up a superplex attempt. The Swanton is good for the pin on Nitro.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to do much but it was a fine way to advance both feuds, even if the men should have wrapped up. Maria isn’t going to be a serious competitor in the ring but at least she can do enough basic stuff to get by in something like this. Let the experienced people get in and do their thing and get out, which is exactly what they did here.

Vince McMahon calls Donald Trump but Trump’s secretary, who doesn’t know who Vince is, says he is having dinner. Vince starts to give out the number but looks at Coach and stops himself. Coach doesn’t seem to buy that Trump is going to call back.

Here is Rated-RKO for a chat but DX’s music interrupts them. The music turns into a flatline sound though, with Randy Orton saying that is what is happening to DX. Tonight they are taking out Shawn Michaels and HHH is already sitting at home recovering from a torn quadricep muscle.

Orton leaves to take care of something backstage while Edge talks about how Shawn’s TV debut took place near here, so him being destroyed makes sense. Edge goes to check on Orton….and they drag out a bloody Jim Duggan. Since Duggan might help Shawn later, we need a demonstration of what Shawn has coming for him. Duggan gets a Conchairto and here are the referees, just a few seconds late of course.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

How many times are these guys going to fight??? Flair takes him into the corner for the chops to start and there’s a headlock takeover. Dykstra fights up and gets in a shot to Flair’s knee, setting up a Figure Four of his own. That’s broken up and Flair chops away before cutting off a charge with an elbow to the face. Flair goes up and actually hits something like a top rope clothesline for two. JR: “I think we just saw a moment!” Dykstra is right back with a rollup but gets caught grabbing the rope. Flair’s rollup with trunks gets two so he tries another and, this time with putting his feet on the ropes, gets the pin.

Rating: C-. And they’re done. Or at least they should be, as this feud has already gone on far too long. Flair took him to school here and got his win back. Now let the whole thing go and move on to anything else, because it wasn’t exactly an interesting feud in the first place. Dykstra is as midcard of a midcard heel as you can get so let’s move on to something else already.

Smackdown Rebound.

Shawn Michaels arrives and is told about what happened to Jim Duggan. That’s not what Shawn wanted but he only has one partner. He’ll do this alone tonight, but Ric Flair comes in to say he’ll fight with Shawn tonight. Shawn shakes his hand but still seems nervous.

Vince McMahon is still waiting on Donald Trump’s call but Coach suggests it might be Vince’s batteries. Vince: “There is nothing wrong with my batteries.” Coach asks Vince what the big deal is and Vince pulls out a letter that Trump sent him last week. The letter talks about how Trump is a big WWE fan but he didn’t like the Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell match last week. Trump will be watching this week and wants something better. Oh and watch the Apprentice on Sunday nights. Coach is a fan, but Vince would rather talk about the compelling television you are about to see.

Wrestlemania is coming in 76 days.

Here is Vince McMahon to give us compelling television and I’m as scared as you are. He knows Donald Trump wants compelling television so let’s look at Rosie vs. Trump from last week. Hold on though as we need to see it in SLOW MOTION. Vince sees a difference between himself and Trump: instead of asking the audience what they want and then giving it to them like Trump, Vince decides what his fans wants and then gives it to them (How in the world is that not a FAR more quoted line?).

Vince moves on to the Miss USA controversy, as she did something that meant she should lose her crown. It turns out that Miss USA is here tonight, so here is Torrie Wilson in a gown. Torrie reluctantly says she has been a bad girl and asks how she can make it up to Vince, America’s Favorite Billionaire.

Cue an angry Carlito to interrupt and say that Vince is not cool. Trump vs. Rosie sucked and this is brutal. Trump was right: Vince doesn’t know what people want and the fans want to see people fight. Vince likes that idea and is ready to go right now…but let’s have Great Khali do it instead. Carlito gets in a few shots until a big chop and the double chokeslam leave him laying. Vince: “Now that? That’s cool.”

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Victoria

Mickie is defending so Victoria pulls her down by the hair. That’s fine enough as Mickie jumps over her in the corner and does the same thing. Mickie gets draped over the top rope so Mickie can throw in a few spanks. That earns Mickie a trip to the floor and a baseball slide takes her out in a hurry. Back in and Victoria tosses her around by the hair and then stands on it for a bonus. Mickie cradles her for two so Victoria pulls on her leg. That’s broken up but the MickieDT is countered into the swinging side slam. Mickie is sick of this and hits a spinning kick to the face to retain.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t exactly their best work as it felt sluggish to go with all of the botches. These two are capable of having a good match because they have the chemistry together, but it just wasn’t clicking this time. This should end the feud, as Mickie can move on to Melina while Victoria can continue to be more talented than most of the women featured on the show.

We recap the contract signing.

Royal Rumble rundown….now with 25 names already entered into the Rumble. There is something to be said for the “throw everyone in at once” method.

Here is Chris Masters for a chat. He is ready for the Royal Rumble and the winner is standing before you. Masters pulls out a note while talking about how no one can break the Masterlock. The note is a signed document from Vince McMahon himself, which says that since JBL interfered in Iraq, the Masterlock has NEVER been broken.

The Masterlock Challenge is on again so here is Ron Simmons of all people to accept. Masters immediately starts backing off but Simmons shoves him down. The hold goes on and, after the usual escape tease….Super Crazy of all people comes in to jump Masters. Simmons watches as Crazy lays Masters out, meaning it’s catchphrase time.

Wrestlemania Recall: Rob Van Dam wins Money in the Bank.

JR confirms that Simmons did NOT break the Masterlock, due to Crazy’s interference.

Ric Flair has been attacked and laid out. Again. What is that, three times since Rated-RKO formed?

JTG vs. Shelton Benjamin

Shad Gaspard and Charlie Haas are here too. Shelton breaks up an early headscissors to start by hitting a shoulder breaker out of the corner. A hammerlock stays on the arm and Shelton sends it hard into the buckle. The referee has to yell at Shad as JTG fights back, only to get kicked in the face. Shad uses the distraction to unhook a turnbuckle pad so Haas complains, allowing Shad to break up a powerbomb attempt to give JTG the pin.

Ric Flair is on his way to the hospital so Shawn Michaels is rather upset. He superkicks Todd Grisham to blow off some steam.

We get a video with HHH talking about his quad injury and surgery. This goes on for a good while.

Shawn Michaels vs. Rated-RKO

Non-title. Before the match, Rated-RKO mocks DX’s intro and has security confiscate all of the DX signs. Shawn charges in and starts fast by sending both of them out to the floor. We settle down to Edge getting chopped in the corner until he rakes the eyes to escape. Orton comes in and gets hammered down in a hurry. Shawn is sent outside though and Edge blasts him with a running clothesline.

Back in and Edge hammers Shawn down without much effort to bust him open. Orton’s backbreaker lets Edge hammer away even more until we take a break. It’s back to Orton to get in some right hands of his own but Shawn flips over in the corner and nails a clothesline. Edge comes back in and spears Orton by mistake and Shawn has a chance.

The comeback is on with the forearm into the nipup into the atomic drop. Shawn’s top rope elbow connects but he can’t follow up right away. Sweet Chin Music is loaded up but Shawn has to jump Orton as he comes back in. Edge hits the spear and now it’s time for the chairs so the referee throws it out.

Rating: C. This worked out about as well as it could have as there was only so much that could be done here. Shawn can’t beat the champs on his own but you don’t want them beating Shawn because he has no partner and no real place to go if he loses. It wasn’t a bad match at all, but it was much more about finding a way out than anything else.

Post match the Conchairto is loaded up but Shawn nips it up into Edge’s face which is only slightly better than I remember seeing it live. Shawn fights back and finds the sledgehammer to knock Orton out. A Conchairto is loaded up and Orton is crushed to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m glad they have named most of the Royal Rumble entrants but the rest of the show was barely worth seeing. The contract signing worked, but it was one of those shows where it felt like they didn’t have much to do and jumped through the two hours as quickly as they could. While it isn’t a terrible show, it’s a totally skippable one (especially the Trump/Vince stuff), which tends to be the case until we get to the Rumble.

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Monday Night Raw – June 14, 2021: Oh They Needed This

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 14, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Hell in a Cell and there are only four matches set for the card. In theory we should be getting more matches announced this week, but WWE has a habit of leaving some of the build until the very end at times. On top of that, we have the continuing adventures of Lily the evil doll. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Alexa Bliss recapping the Lily/Shayna Baszler incident from last week. Bliss has put Lily in time out this week but she will see Shayna on Sunday. Nia Jax comes in and says they used to be friends but now Bliss needs to leave Shayna alone. Bliss laughs it off and Nia challenges her for tonight. The match is made as I try to figure out why Jax isn’t beating Bliss senseless when she is right in front of her.

We recap Nikki Cross’ technical wins over Rhea Ripley and Charlotte.

Charlotte is ready to get rid of Cross to move on to Rhea Ripley on Sunday.

Charlotte vs. Nikki Cross

The bell rings and here is Rhea Ripley 14 seconds in to watch from the stage. Cross rolls her up for one but gets kneed out to the floor, where Charlotte kicks her into the barricade. Back from a break with Charlotte hitting a clothesline but shouting down to Ripley. Some chops put Cross in the corner but she fights back for a change. Charlotte knocks her outside in a heap and gets in a few more shots….but stops to yell at Ripley and gets counted out at 7:50.

Rating: D. So we have an extended squash until Charlotte slips on a banana peel to give Cross the fluke win. That would be another win which means absolutely nothing for her but maybe WWE can treat her like something anyway. This was better than the fifteen minutes we got last week, so call it a slight upgrade? Maybe?

Post match Charlotte jumps Cross but Ripley makes the save with Riptide.

Jeff Hardy tells Riddle to respect his elders in the tag division and listen to Randy Orton. Hardy has a match with John Morrison tonight and freaks Riddle out with the double eyes. Riddle goes on a long bit about what he would do with four arms but Hardy leaves. Orton comes in to offer some advice, so Riddle asks if Orton likes him. Orton: “No.”

John Morrison vs. Jeff Hardy

Miz joins commentary and Morrison gets in a Drip Stick shot to put Hardy in early trouble. A cartwheel clothesline drops Hardy again…and here is Cedric Alexander. Hardy grabs a rollup for two and gets a boot up in the corner. A splash gives Hardy two and they fight to the apron with Morrison dropping him throat first across the top rope. Starship Pain finishes Hardy at 2:50.

Post break Cedric goes on a rant about how Hardy beat him last week but acted like a sore winner. The only think he’ll apologize for is not putting Hardy in a retirement home. Hardy grabs the mic and says he’ll retire if Cedric can beat him right now.

Jeff Hardy vs. Cedric Alexander

Cedric starts in on the knee, including a dragon screw legwhip over the ropes. The half crab doesn’t last long as Hardy sends him into the corner for a slingshot dropkick. Alexander is back with a Michinoku Driver for two but misses his own Swanton. The Twist of Fate sets up the Swanton to finish Alexander at 2:49. What a random match and use of Alexander.

We recap the setup of Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley inside the Cell.

Naomi vs. Eva Marie

Graves is downright giddy for the return. Or not as Eva brings out the unnamed Piper Niven to wrestle in her place.

Naomi vs. Piper Niven

Due to “it’s NXT UK”, commentary has no idea who Niven is. Niven runs her over to start and hits a release World’s Strongest Slam. A backsplash into a Michinoku Driver gives Niven the squash win at 36 seconds.

Post match, Eva announcers herself as the winner. That’s rather curious.

Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose were having a photo shoot but got distracted by Natalya and Tamina training in a ring. They got in an argument about looks vs. skills and a brawl broke out. Referee break it up.

Drew McIntyre dubs Bobby Lashley as Trashley but for tonight, the focus is on AJ Styles. The Scottish are known for their strategies though and we hear about William Wallace. Now what does this have to do with facing Lashley? Drew: “Nothing. I just love that story!” He’ll win on Sunday.

New Day vs. RKBro

Riddle has to keep the scooter slow so Orton can keep up with him, while also singing Orton’s song. Riddle chokes Woods to start but gets dropped onto Kofi’s knee for an atomic drop. Woods works on the arm but it’s off to Orton for a fight over a top wristlock. It’s off to Kofi for a frog splash crossbody and New Day clears the ring as we take a break. Back with Woods hitting a running forearm but getting caught with a jumping knee.

Orton grabs the armbar and it’s back to Riddle to try for a cross armbreaker. With that not working, Orton comes back in to stomp away. We hit the chinlock again with Woods fighting up and bringing Kofi in to clean house. The jumping clothesline drops Orton to set up the Boom Drop but a quick tag brings in Riddle to kick away. A ripcord knee sets up the Floating Bro for two on Kofi and we take a break.

Back with Woods crotching Riddle on top and hitting a superplex. Kofi’s frog splash gets two but Orton dives in for the save. Riddle’s small package gets two on Kofi and he northern lights suplexes Woods for the same. An assisted powerbomb (ala two thirds of the Shield) gets two more on Woods but Kofi saves him from the hanging DDT.

Orton gets knocked into the corner and it’s back to Riddle, who can’t muscle Woods up for an apron German suplex. Instead Woods takes him into an electric chair for a top rope double stomp (making it a modified Doomsday Device) for a very near fall. Orton tags himself in but can’t hit the RKO on Woods. He can however counter the Honor Roll into the RKO for the pin on Woods at 21:43.

Rating: B. This would be your latest exhibit of proof that Raw does know how to do some good things. It was a long, well built match with some good drama all the way to the ending. This match has been built up for a few weeks now and then they paid it off with a good match. Watching things like this makes the horrible stuff that much more frustrating but I’ll take what I can get here.

We look at Charlotte screwing up against Nikki Cross earlier.

Rhea Ripley thinks Charlotte is obsessed with her. After Sunday, Charlotte is going to the back of the line. She has to face Asuka tonight though so the interview is over.

Asuka vs. Rhea Ripley

Non-title. Asuka grabs a headlock to start and sends Ripley into the corner, meaning it’s time to dance. Ripley gets two off a crucifix and hits Asuka in the face, only to get pulled into an Octopus. That’s broken up as well so Asuka strikes away again before avoiding a running dropkick in the corner. They fight outside with Asuka being dropped onto the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Asuka hitting a middle rope missile dropkick and sending them into a strike off. A knee to the face gives Asuka two and the hip attack gets the same. Ripley grabs a northern lights suplex for the same but Asuka is back with a running kick to the face. A YES Kick is countered into some knees to Asuka’s chest and the Prism Trap goes on. That is reversed into a faceplant but the Asuka Lock is countered into the Riptide to finish Asuka at 10:47.

Rating: B-. These two beat each other up pretty well and it made for a rather solid match. I’m not wild on Asuka lose again, especially in a match that we have seen over and over, but at least it was a long enough, competitive one. Ripley needed some momentum on the way to the title match and this worked as well as anything else could.

Post match here is Charlotte to go after Ripley and the brawl is on until security breaks it up. They keep going after each other and Charlotte’s nose was busted open somewhere in there. Good as usual, but both of these two need to move on.

MVP does not like Kevin Patrick trying to interview Bobby Lashley. The champ isn’t working tonight because he is the WWE Champion, but he does promise to publicly execute Drew on Sunday.

Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

This is Bliss’ first regular Raw match since February. Bliss kicks away to start and chokes away in the corner. After a creepy spider walk, Bliss avoids a running kick in the corner and hammers away. Jax runs her over for a change and we hit the chinlock. Back up and a running clothesline takes Bliss down but she sits up to avoid the legdrop. That means a glare into the camera and a kick to Jax’s head. Cue Reginald for a distraction but Bliss dropkicks Jax’s knees out instead. A short DDT sets up Twisted Bliss but Reginald comes in for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to make of this as Bliss has been successful, but there is a certain level of disbelief you have to reach to accept her cutting Jax down like this. The ending didn’t help as it involved Reginald, but Bliss being back in the ring is not the worst thing. Now her being a mini Undertaker/Fiend hybrid…..egads man.

Post match Bliss glares at Reginald and, with the force of a thousand camera cuts…..Bliss just walks away when Nia gets up.

MVP is talking to New Day and suggests that Kofi Kingston is losing because Xavier Woods is the weak link. New Day doesn’t want to hear it and Kofi gives a fired up speech about how his friends helped get him here. MVP wishes him luck on Sunday….but then remembers Kofi doesn’t have a match on the show. Woods: “Kick rocks dude.” Kofi seems ok.

Jaxson Ryker vs. Elias

Earlier today, Ryker said Elias was holding him back. I’m thinking it’s the fact that he’s Jaxson Ryker. Elias goes right at him to start but gets clotheslined down. The chops in the corner have Elias rocked and something like a spinebuster drops him again. They head outside with Elias getting posted….and taking the countout at 2:28.

Video on the Cell.

Drew McIntyre vs. AJ Styles

Bobby Lashley, MVP and the ladies sit on the couches on the stage while Omos is here with Styles. McIntyre drives him into the corner to start but AJ comes back chopping away. A big chop is blocked and a heck of a backdrop has AJ in more trouble. Futureshock connects but McIntyre stops to glare at Lashley, allowing Omos to pull AJ outside. Cue the Viking Raiders and we take a break.

Back with Styles being sent hard into the corner and getting caught with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Styles manages to send him outside in a heap and, back in, cuts off a charge with some raised boots. The chinlock slows McIntyre down a bit but he jawbreaks his way to freedom.

McIntyre fights up with some elbows to the face for two and a Michinoku Driver (third tonight) gets the same. McIntyre’s superplex is countered though and Styles fireman’s carries him onto the knee for two of his own. Back up and McIntyre drops him with a shot to the face but goes outside to jump Lashley. McIntyre heads inside but Lashley comes in for the DQ at 13:31.

Rating: C+. This was getting a little better by the time it was wrapping up, but I don’t think there was much of a surprise to be had once everyone came out to ringside. Not giving AJ vs. McIntyre a definitive ending is a good thing as this could have been a big time match later, so save something for the future.

Post match the big brawl is on, with Lashley being suplexed on the floor.

Bobby Lashley/AJ Styles/Omos vs. Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders

This starts as a handicap match as Lashley is in the back changing out of street clothes. Ivar takes AJ into the corner and it’s Erik coming in to crush him for two. Cue Lashley to run down the ramp and send McIntyre hard into the barricade. Lashley comes in to hammer on Erik but it’s right back to AJ…who brings Omos in to knee Erik in the corner. A Downward Spiral plants Erik and Lashley goes after McIntyre, but the distraction allows the tag back to Ivar.

The pace picks up as Ivar flips away from Lashley but charges into a spinebuster. It’s back to Omos so Ivar comes up swinging, only to get shouldered down. We take a break and come back with Lashley unloading on Ivar in the corner and grabbing a neck crank. Ivar fights up but gets taken down again, setting up a chinlock from AJ. That’s broken up and we get the double tag to set up Omos vs. McIntyre.

Omos chokes him down but McIntyre comes up with right hands. Styles tags himself in but gets caught in some overhead belly to belly suplexes. Everything breaks down and Erik dives at Omos on the floor….where he is tossed into the timekeeper’s area. AJ intentionally (Maybe?) avoids tagging Omos to tag in Lashley instead, allowing McIntyre to hit the Claymore for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C+. Pretty run of the mill main event six man here and that is not a bad thing. McIntyre pinning Lashley works to set up their title match, though I’m not sure I buy McIntyre’s chances at getting the title back. The Raiders vs. AJ/Omos hasn’t been officially set so far so it’s cool for their match to not get the most focus. Good enough main event here, though nothing you haven’t seen before.

McIntyre promises to see Lashley in h*** to end the show.

Results
Nikki Cross b. Charlotte via countout
John Morrison b. Jeff Hardy – Starship Pain
Jeff Hardy b. Cedric Alexander – Swanton Bomb
Piper Niven b. Naomi – Michinoku Driver
RKBro b. New Day – RKO to Woods
Rhea Ripley b. Asuka – Riptide
Alexa Bliss b. Nia Jax via DQ when Reginald interfered
Jaxson Ryker b. Elias via countout
Drew McIntyre b. AJ Styles via DQ when Bobby Lashley interfered
Drew McIntyre/Viking Raiders b. AJ Styles/Omos/Bobby Lashley – Claymore to Lashley

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure if it is just how bad things have been in recent weeks or if they actually made some adjustments but this was a FAR better show than anything in recent memory. Nothing on here was completely horrible and even the worst stuff didn’t overstay its welcome. They build up some stuff for the pay per view and even added a new match while adding in some new stuff. The show is not great by any means but after weeks of some of the worst shows ever, this was an absolute breath of fresh air.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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New Column: Where Did They Go Wrong?

It has been a long fall in two years.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-go-wrong/




Monday Night Raw – January 8, 2007: One Of Their Worst Ideas Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 2007
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after New Year’s Revolution and things have changed a bit. That bit would be HHH tearing his quadricep again during the DX vs. Rated-RKO tag match. Odds are that is going to shake up a good amount of the show as we head towards Wrestlemania. Other than that, John Cena retained the World Title over Umaga with a quick rollup. We’re less than a month away from the Royal Rumble too so let’s get to it.

Here is New Year’s Revolution if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the DX vs. Rated-RKO tag match, with HHH blowing out his leg but managing to beat up Rated-RKO after the match anyway.

Opening sequence.

Tonight: Donald Trump vs. Rosie O’Donnell. The sighing is going to be strong with this one.

Here is John Cena to get thing going. After taking a few moments, Cena quietly says the champ is here. Cena: “You know what really yanks my noodle?” Before Cena left the building last night, Armando Alejandro Estrada was on WWE.com saying Umaga lost in a fluke. Last night, Cena took a beating for thirty minutes (17:20 by my notes) but he doesn’t know what Estrada means by a fluke. Cena is thinking about giving Umaga a rematch tonight but that might be the concussion talking.

Since this is where Cena made his Raw debut, he polls the fans on said rematch taking place. Cue Coach instead, and tonight Umaga is getting the night off. Cena doesn’t buy that and is expecting to be jumped on he way to the car or in the….Cena: “Never mind.”. Coach doesn’t like Cena’s attitude but he has an idea for tonight. See, contracts expire, so Cena can face Raw’s newest acquisition. Cue the Great Khali for the staredown but Coach backs the monster off.

Video on Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump, as they have been feuding in the media for a good while. Sounds like wrestling time to me.

Vince McMahon talks about how there are matches which reshape the wrestling world, such as Sammartino vs. Graham, Hogan vs. Andre and Austin vs. The Rock. Tonight, it’s “the Brash Billionaire vs. the Left Leaning Lesbian!”. Vince has a cake and here is “Rosie” (played by indy wrestler Kiley McLean, who ever did anything) to be rather annoying. She’s happy with the cake (Rosie: “It’s my fudgey!”), which she thinks could have been colder. Vince: “You are what you eat.” She’ll devour Trump tonight too. This is dumber than it sounds, though I’m sure those TNA chants are just a figment of Vince’s imagination.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Kenny Dykstra

Jeff is defending and banged up from the cage match last night. Dykstra hammers him in the back but Jeff is right back with the slingshot dropkick in the corner. That’s enough to send Dykstra to the floor for a dive off the apron and we take a break. Back with Dykstra hitting a neckbreaker and a pair of clotheslines for one. A jumping back elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock. Jeff fights up for the Whisper in the Wind and a kick to the chest takes Dykstra out of the air. Cue Johnny Nitro to yell at Jeff but Ric Flair comes in to low blow Dykstra. The Twist of Fate and Swanton retain the title.

Rating: C-. That should set up a tag match as Flair vs. Dykstra continues. The match wasn’t much to see but for a pretty quick TV title defense, it worked out well. Dykstra continues to be a mostly average heel but Hardy getting a win should be fine. I’m not sure how much Hardy vs. Nitro needs to continue, but the matches, both singles and tags, should be good.

Rosie, with a muffin, likes the idea of going into the Divas locker room.

Earlier today, HHH went to see Dr. James Andrews and the surgery is tomorrow. He’s going to be out 4-6 months.

Rosie shows Maria and Candice Michelle vacation photos while looking at various parts of them. After Rosie leaves, Maria thinks Rosie liked her outfit. Candice agrees, though at least she seems to get it. This is the beat you over the head with the joke portion of the show.

Video on Great Khali being a monster.

Great Khali says….I’m assuming something about John Cena.

More on Rosie vs. Trump.

Victoria/Melina vs. Maria/Mickie James

Mickie takes Melina down by the arm to start and it’s off to Maria for the Bronco Buster. Maria gets taken into the corner so Victoria can beat her up a bit. Melina grabs a headscissors on the mat and a double hair takedown drops Maria again. Mickie dives onto Victoria but Melina runs the corner with a bulldog (the Extreme Makeover) to finish Maria.

“Trump”, played by Ace Steel, gets his hair ready.

Wrestlemania Recall: Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar. This is missing from Peacock for some reason.

Vince McMahon comes out to introduce the real main event, including Rosie O’Donnell with “all her lesbianic fury.”

Rosie O’Donnell vs. Donald Trump

Let’s get this over with. They talk trash to each other, mainly about food, and the referee actually gives instructions. The bell rings and Rosie has to go outside for some more fudge cake. The booing starts in a hurry and Trump gets shoved down into the corner. Trump takes his jacket off as the fans think this match sucks. Rosie shoulders him down and then does it again, followed by a Thesz press.

The fans find it boring and Rosie does the Hogan hand to the ear, drawing some TNA chants. Trump gets sent head first into the buckle but the hair blocks the impact. A headbutt sets up a failed slam attempt and Rosie falls on top for two. Trump goes outside to pick up the cake (Trump: “Come on fatty!”) and pushes it into Rosie’s face. The middle rope hairbutt (yes hairbutt) gives Trump the pin.

Rating: F. I’m not going to waste your time explaining why this wasn’t funny or how badly the fat/lesbian jokes come off because those things are obvious. This was WAY before Trump gained the reputation he has today and was still just little more than a punchline in wrestling, making this one of the more goofy topical things that Raw did. That’s not why this is an F though.

The F is for Federline, who did the celebrity deal SO much better last week. Federline was a punchline at this point and it made sense that people wanted to see him get beaten up. After Federline messed with Cena a few times, Cena destroyed him and stood tall with Federline (mostly) never being seen again. Federline was a fine heel and the whole thing wound up working.

This wasn’t funny, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t smart and it wasn’t anything original. This was “hey these two don’t like each other so here’s a long segment saying that this is a thing that exists”. What’s the joke here? Trump has hair and Rosie likes cake? Those are the most tired, worn out punchlines for these two as you could ask for and they aren’t clever. This was going for the easiest joke in the world with no effort put in and two celebrities who couldn’t shut up about each other being a thing in the news. Terrible stuff and one of the biggest wastes of time Raw has ever seen.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Rematch from last night where Masters won. Carlito starts fast with a crossbody but Masters takes him into the corner and stomps away. Cue Torrie Wilson with the dog as Masters whips Carlito into various corners to set up a clothesline. The bearhug is broken up with some elbows so Masters grabs a powerslam for two. That means the bearhug can go on again but Carlito breaks it up again. This time it’s broken up with Masters being sent to the apron, where Torrie hits him with the bell. The Backstabber gives Carlito the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with nothing going on that we haven’t seen a bunch of times before. Carlito vs. Masters isn’t exactly a thrilling feud but it keeps going on time after time. Torrie interfering to cost Masters the win makes sense here, though unfortunately it is probably going to set up another match between them. The fact that the previous ones weren’t all that great doesn’t make it any better but that’s Raw for you.

More from DX vs. Rated-RKO.

Here is Rated-RKO, with Edge limping and Randy Orton in a neck brace. We see a clip of HHH promising to destroy Rated-RKO, with Orton saying DX kept their word. Last night though, Edge promised to end DX, which Orton says was like losing a battle to win a war. They spilled a lot of blood, but HHH tore his quadricep. Last night, they took out DX, like no one else could.

Edge talks about the people who tried and failed to take out DX (Edge:” Spirit Squad? Please.”) but they did it. Well half of it, because next week, they are facing Shawn Michaels in a handicap match. Next week, they pull the plug, and DX is finally dead. Cue Shawn to say this might be the end of DX because his best friend is undergoing surgery tomorrow. Shawn is going to be there, and then he’ll deal with Rated-RKO. Kind of a weak segment, but they had to throw everything out on a day’s notice.

Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Cryme Tyme

Shad headlocks Cade to start but gets double teamed down as we hear about how Rosie wore a watch in their match. The beatdown is on until Shad powers his way over to the corner for the hot tag to JTG. That means house can be cleaned, including a dropkick into a backdrop into a missile dropkick. The turnbuckle pad gets pulled off somewhere in there and Shad sends Murdoch into the steel to give JTG the pin.

Rating: D+. Another not too great match here with Cryme Tyme establishing pretty much the same thing that they did last night. It can help to have them get another win, but at some point they need to have a match that actually matters. Not the worst match, but it felt like a way to fill five minutes.

This Week In WWE History: Raw debuts. That’s worth a mention.

More Rosie vs. Trump clips. We’ve suffered enough, though hearing the TNA chants again helps. JR: “A man covering Rosie! Imagine that!” Screw off with that Vince line straight into JR’s ear.

Rosie is crying so Ron Simmons comes up for the catchphrase. She cries more.

Jerry Lawler interviews Vladimir Kozlov, who thinks Rosie vs. Trump was funny. Oh and he can beat John Cena and Great Khali.

Eugene is excited for the main event but gets scared of Khali.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Non-title and Armando Alejandro Estrada is on commentary. Cena circles around and gets in a right hand but is knocked outside in a hurry. Back in and Cena’s running forearm to the chest has no effect. Instead, Khali hits an elbow in the corner as Estrada grabs a chair. Cena takes said chair and blasts Khali for the fast DQ.

Post match, Khali chops Cena down without a problem. Khali leaves and here is Umaga to destroy Cena again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty horrible, with the show being centered around one of the dumber ideas that the company has done in a good while. The main idea was just horrible and the rest of the show wasn’t much better, leaving the show as quite the mess. The only important thing set up was Umaga vs. Cena II, with the Royal Rumble not being mentioned. This was all about Rosie vs. Trump though, and that is all but a guaranteed way to waste a week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Monday Night Raw – January 1, 2007: It’s Coming

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 2007
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 15,169
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first show of the year, along with being the go home show for New Year’s Revolution. That means things are going to pick up in a hurry, so we’ll start with….the Kevin Federline match. The best thing we can hope for here is that it is over in a hurry so we can move on to anything else, as the fifteen minutes have to be long past up. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of John Cena vs. Kevin Federline. He has been a good celebrity but egads it feels bottom of the barrel.

Opening sequence.

John Cena vs. Kevin Federline

Non-title and they aren’t wasting time with this one. Federline comes out in a boxing robe and announces that Jonathan Coachman has made this No DQ. Therefore, here is Johnny Nitro to be in Federline’s corner, which does make sense. Nitro gives Federline his mouthpiece but hang on again as Federline has to put on his gloves. Hang on again as Federline needs some headgear and NOW we’re ready to go.

Federline’s headlock is broken as quickly as you would expect so there go the gloves. Hang on again though as Federline has an idea: let’s make this a Masterlock Challenge! Cena has a seat in the chair but Federline changes his mind. Instead it’s a test of strength….with Federline pulling him into a cross armbreaker of all things. That’s countered into a powerbomb but Nitro comes in, allowing Federline to hit a low blow. Cue Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada to beat Cena down, including a belt shot, to give Federline the cocky pin.

Rating: C. Yeah this was completely fine and nothing unexpected. Federline did a bunch of the classic hits here and that is all it needed to be. This was MUCH better than having Federline try to work a match and it added some heat to Sunday’s title match. There was no need to try anything more complicated and this could have been much, much worse.

Post break, Maria tries to talk to Federline but Melina isn’t having any of that. Melina isn’t having any of that because Maria called him K-Fed. Instead they can have a match later, but Melina gives her a slap for a preview.

DX talks strategy in the back, I’m guessing for a chess tournament.

We go to Kevin Federline’s celebration, complete with Johnny Nitro, Melina and a bunch of women. Coach comes in to make a four on one handicap match with John Cena facing Armando Alejandro Estrada, Umaga, Nitro and….Coach himself. Of note: Coach reminds us that Nitro has an Intercontinental Title shot at the pay per view, which has been mostly forgotten since the match was announced.

Some members of the Miami Heat, including Shaquille O’Neal, are here.

Cryme Tyme/Highlanders vs. Shelton Benjamin/Charlie Haas/Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Cryme Tyme says hi to Shaq during the entrances. Cade charges into Rory’s elbow in the corner to start so JTG comes in to dance around a bit. That earns him a kick to the ribs and Haas comes in for a butterfly suplex. Benjamin and Murdoch don’t seem to be on the same page so Cade drops a leg instead. A missed middle rope elbow gives JTG a breather and the hot tag brings in Shad to slug away. Shad’s belly to back suplex gets two and everything breaks down. A jawbreaker sends Murdoch into the ropes with JTG snapping the back of his neck over the top for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Cryme Tyme getting another pin is a good idea. Above all else, the tag team division needs some fresh teams and Cryme Tyme has been built up rather well. The rest of the teams are just kind of there, though Haas and Benjamin should take all of eighteen seconds to reheat if needed.

Wrestlemania Recall: the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.

Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Conway

Non-title. Before the match, Conway says that he is sick of losing around here and if he loses again, he’s done with Raw. Conway then loses in about 20 seconds to a sunset flip in his last televised match in WWE.

Post match Conway is still in the ring and here is Vince McMahon for a chat. Vince talks about how many people break their New Year’s resolution, just like Conway already did. He isn’t breaking his though, which includes not being nice and letting people take advantage of him. That means he isn’t going to be like his good friend Donald Trump, who is having trouble with Rosie O’Donnell, who he refers to as Yokozuna. Speaking of Trump, Vince doesn’t like him stealing his catchphrase, so Conway is FIRED.

Kenny Dykstra says Ric Flair offering a handshake wasn’t about Flair, but about himself. They say deaths come in threes, but tonight he’s going to make it four: James Brown, Gerald Ford, Saddaam Hussein and Ric Flair’s career.

We look at Rated-RKO attacking Ric Flair a few weeks ago, leading to DX wanting revenge. Then Rated-RKO destroyed DX on the last Raw of the year.

Here is DX for a chat and they seem rather chipper despite being taken out two weeks ago. Shawn says he can’t pretend what he just saw didn’t happen but they are out of competition. They have beaten a bunch of people who are either gone or jerking the curtain somewhere else. Now they have Rated-RKO show up and finally you have two guys who have a set. Then they took out Ric Flair and beat him within an inch of his life. They one upped themselves by laying out DX, which is someone no one has ever done before.

That’s why the violence is coming at New Year’s Revolution. HHH says Rated-RKO thinks they have them in the palm of their hands, but remember when Vince McMahon thought that? It’s because DX is like…..Frosted Mini Wheats? They have two sides: the sweet and sugary side (Shawn: “I like the sugary side!”) and the other side, who is going to make Rated-RKO bleed. This was some weird mix of goofy and serious and it only kind of worked.

Melina vs. Maria

Melina is in workout gear for some reason and Victoria comes out for commentary. Maria knocks her into the corner to start and hammers away as the catfight is on. Victoria rants on the lack of spots because of people like Mickie James as Melina snaps Maria’s neck across the top. Maria gets a boot up in the corner and hammers away as Victoria wants her to just go back to the beach already. A rollup goes badly for Melina so she stacks Maria up (with nothing in between) for the pin.

Post match Victoria goes after Lilian Garcia but Mickie James runs out for the save.

Video on Tribute to the Troops, set to a Goo Goo Dolls song.

Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Kenny Dykstra/Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with the good ones. JR: “Now Kenny has a last name. And a hometown!” Masters tags Kenny in rather than facing Carlito (the hair is frightening) but comes in after Kenny takes him down. It’s quickly off to Flair for a chop block to Masters but Kenny breaks up the Figure Four in a hurry. We take a break and come back with Masters taking Carlito into the corner and Kenny grabbing the chinlock. It’s back to Masters for some chops in the corner and a chinlock of his own.

There’s a gorilla press for two but Carlito is back up with a springboard elbow to the face. Kenny is smart enough to go outside and knock Flair off the apron, leaving Carlito to get Masterlocked. Flair comes back in for the save as everything breaks down. The hot tag brings Flair back in to chop away but Masters clotheslines him down. Carlito and Masters fight to the floor as Kenny sends Flair into the buckle and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic match here, though the ending didn’t exactly do much for anyone. Above all else, it continues the Kenny push and it is only working so well. The fact that JR is mocking him for getting a last name and a hometown should tell you everything there is to know about his development. Kenny needed to go away for a long time to get rid of the Spirit Squad aura, but this isn’t a complete disaster yet.

Post match Flair says this isn’t over but here is Rated-RKO to take Flair out, including another Conchairto. I’m guessing DX stepped out for stroganoff. Flair is checked on, and after a break, he is still being checked on.

New Year’s Revolution rundown, including Kenny vs. Flair and Carlito vs. Masters.

Here’s Kevin Federline to say he told us so. He shocked the world earlier and it was so fun that he is going to have a seat at ringside. John Cena can’t see him.

John Cena vs. Armando Alejandro Estrada/Umaga/Jonathan Coachman/Johnny Nitro

Kevin Federline is on commentary. Cena charges in to slug it out with Umaga and low bridges the monster to the floor. Nitro comes in to hammer away but gets release fisherman’s suplexed. Umaga is back in for a Samoan drop and Coach gets in a few shots. That triggers the comeback so Cena cleans house, including getting Umaga in the STFU. Estrada brings in a chair but Cena takes it away and hits Umaga in the head for the DQ.

Post match Cena cleans house and grabs Federline for the FU. A lot of posing and staring ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not much of a show here, but it felt like they were scrambling to get through the show while also focusing on the Federline stuff (which went shockingly well). New Year’s Revolution feels like something that is just there too, with stuff like the Intercontinental Title match barely being mentioned. Cena vs. Umaga and DX vs. Rated-RKO should be enough to carry the show, but it wasn’t exactly a great commercial for the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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New Column: And Then What?

The fans are going to save WWE…..for a little while at best.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-and-then-what/




Monday Night Raw – May 31, 2021: Half And A Better Half

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 31, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s Memorial Day, meaning we might be in for a huge show or it might be one that has absolutely nothing because no one is going to be watching. The main event is Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston to crown a new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley, though that was the case last week as well. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We get the annual Memorial Day video.

Jimmy Smith is introduced as the newest member of the broadcast team and we run down the card.

It’s time for MizTV, featuring the return of the un-undead Miz. After the usual intro, Miz talks about how he was hurt in THAT match….but he isn’t sure why John Morrison has garlic around his neck. Morrison says he isn’t going to take any chances with Miz, so he also has his Drip Stick, which is a hand held liquid spraying cannon. Miz: “I love you.” Anyway, Miz knows that it is time to start giving back to superstars, like his first guest this week: Charlotte. After asking about the garlic, Charlotte says that Rhea Ripley has had her time and it’s time to get rid of her.

Cue Ripley, who tells Charlotte to go to h***. Morrison asks her favorite garlic bread recipe to ensure that she is not a vampire but Ripley gets to the point, promising to retain the title against Charlotte. Miz brings up Ripley not being able to beat Nikki Cross in two minutes last week.

Cue Nikki Cross, with Ripley saying she would have won if she had four minutes, but Charlotte says she could do it in one. Cross slaps her and the challenge is accepted. Ripley sounding like a kid with excuses for why she didn’t win and Morrison’s supernatural stuff got annoying in a hurry here and it was all to set up a one minute match after the break? No wonder this show has timing issues.

Charlotte vs. Nikki Cross

Two minute time limit, despite Charlotte saying she could do it in one. Charlotte is sent outside to start and Nikki switches places with her to burn off some time. The chase is on, with Cross hiding behind Rhea Ripley on the floor. Back in and Charlotte hits a knee to the ribs with thirty seconds left. Cross hits a tornado DDT and time expires at 2:00.

Riddle and Damian Priest are ready to go back on the road so Riddle asks him for some Spanish lessons. Randy Orton pops up (Has he always had that mustache?) and, after complaining about the RKO last week (Riddle: “I just kind of hit it out of nowhere.”), says if they’re going to do this tag team, they might as well do it right. Riddle can come be at ringside for Orton vs. Xavier Woods. Riddle gets way too excited so Orton shushes him, prompting Riddle to lock his mouth shut and hand Orton the invisible key. Orton throws it away and leaves, meaning Riddle goes to look for the key. The invisible one.

Randy Orton vs. Xavier Woods

Riddle is here with Orton, who gets chopped into the corner to start. Orton drops him onto the turnbuckle though and they head outside, with Orton slamming Woods face first onto the announcers’ table. A belly to back drop onto the table makes it worse and Riddle is writing notes on his hand because he can’t talk.

We take a break and come back with Orton holding a chinlock but Woods fights up with an enziguri. A discus forearm gives Woods two and he hammers away in the corner. That’s countered into a powerbomb of all things for two but the hanging DDT is broken up. Instead, Woods hits a Codebreaker on the arm and grabs a Fujiwara armbar. Riddle is VERY relieved when Orton makes the rope and now the hanging DDT can connect. Woods grabs a backslide for two but Orton comes back with the Bro Derek for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C. Orton was trying a few different things here and the ending was a cool thing to see. Riddle and Orton continue to be the most entertaining thing on this show, assuming you can ignore the invisible key level of stuff. Woods has been doing rather well on his own as of late, though I’m not sure where this is leading for him.

Post match Riddle poses in front of Orton, who can’t bring himself to do his own pose.

We recap Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald, the latter of whom keeps costing her matches. This is the dumbest thing going in wrestling today.

MVP brings a new group of women to have some fun with Bobby Lashley (in an orange suit).

Reginald tells Nia Jax he has this, despite her being worried.

Shayna Baszler vs. Reginald

Reginald has to flip away from Baszler to start and even manages a slam to put her down. That’s too far for Baszler, who starts in on the leg to put him in trouble. Baszler stomps on the leg and cranks on it a bit, setting up the ankle lock. That’s broken up and Reginald hits a spinning crossbody, setting up a one legged moonsault. Reginald has to land on his feet when Baszler moves, so the Kirifuda Clutch goes on. Then fire comes out of the corner and Reginald rolls her up for the pin at 4:16 (ignore Baszler’s shoulder being off the mat).

Rating: F. So that just happened. The two time and longest reigning NXT Women’s Champion just lost to Reginald, a comedy character who has a job because he used to be in a circus, because an evil doll made fire come out of the post. This is the latest example of me thinking that WWE is actively trying to troll its fans.

Reginald escapes to the back and gets hugged by Nia Jax.

Drew McIntyre isn’t happy with not beating Kofi Kingston last week. He needs to change his way of thinking, to the point where he has put having children on hold to become WWE Champion again. Maybe one day he can have a Little Drew to teach about Scottish folklore, but for now, he is ready. Tonight, he’s ready for Kofi, like he was ready to beat Brock Lesnar, unlike Kofi.

Mace/T-Bar vs. Lucha House Party

During the entrances, Mace and T-Bar promise to make House Party extinct. T-Bar sends Lince Dorado into the corner to start but a quick choke lets Gran Metalik come in with a splash off of Dorado’s shoulders. Mace comes in for a spinwheel kick to the face and a kind of rough looking suplex drops Metalik again. Everything breaks down and Mace plants Dorado on the floor. T-Bar kicks Metalik out of the corner and a double chokeslam is good for the pin at 2:48. To say Mace and T-Bar did not look smooth here would be a huge understatement, as they seemed ready for a major injury on almost every move.

Alexa Bliss invites Reginald to her Playground.

Here is Sheamus for a chat. He talks about how many people have come up short against him, but that is as close to being champion as they are going to get. We see a clip from last week with Sheamus attacking Humberto Carrillo but Ricochet came in for the save. Sheamus calls that SCUMBAGGERY, which is why he hasn’t defended the title since Wrestlemania. He’ll fight both of them back to back though, and then they can go back to catering where they belong.

Sheamus vs. Ricochet

Non-title. Ricochet starts fast by sending him outside but a dive is countered into a toss into the barricade. Back in and a top rope clothesline turns Ricochet inside out….and here is Humberto Carrillo for a distraction so Ricochet can get the rollup pin at 1:17.

Sheamus vs. Humberto Carrillo

Non-title and joined in progress with Sheamus stomping away at Carrillo in the corner. Sheamus runs him over with an ax handle to the head and pulls Carrillo off the ropes for a crash back down. Carrillo fights back but walks into the Irish Curse to cut that right off. We hit the reverse chinlock to keep Carrillo in trouble but he’s back up with a few chops.

A shot to the nose busts Sheamus open a bit so he clotheslines Carrillo hard to the floor. Sheamus kicks Ricochet in the face for a bonus but the distraction lets Carrillo hit a suicide dive to send Sheamus into the announcers’ table. Back in and Carrillo’s high crossbody is countered into a swinging release Rock Bottom. Ricochet offers a distraction though and Carrillo gets a rollup for the pin at 4:58.

Rating: C-. One of the first lines from commentary told you everything you need to know about this story: “The impossible has happened. Ricochet has pinned Sheamus.” These matches aren’t about elevating Carrillo and Ricochet, but rather making Sheamus look like he slipped on a banana peel (so we could have our third rollup via distraction of the night). I’m rather glad to see Ricochet and Carrillo getting a chance, but this isn’t doing them any long term good.

Eva Marie talks about taking time away from WWE to learn some more about herself. Now she is back because she knows what it takes to get here. She wants to help others now, and the Eva-Lution is coming.

Corey Graves is nearly moved to tears by Eva Marie. Graves: “No, you’re crying.”

Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke vs. Lana/Naomi

Natalya and Tamina are on commentary. Lana takes Dana down to start so Naomi can come in for a legdrop. A bulldog drops Dana again but it’s off to Mandy, who gets caught in a fireman’s carry Stunner. Everything breaks down and Naomi hits a slingshot corkscrew dive onto Dana. Lana rolls Mandy up for two but gets caught in the corner with a shoulder to the ribs. A fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination finishes Lana at 3:52.

Rating: F. This was bad and I’m not sure how else to describe it. They weren’t hitting their moves, they weren’t timing things well and the selling was awful. Featuring these same teams in matches every week or two isn’t making them better, but rather reminding us of just how bad they really are. Keep in mind that this is all in the name of giving Natalya and Tamina some competition, because the women’s tag team division just has to exist.

Bad Bunny was on a show with Lebron James and discussed his love of wrestling.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Cedric Alexander

Shelton start fast but Cedric pokes him in the eye. The Neuralizer gives Cedric the pin at 28 seconds.

Elias tries to fire Jaxson Ryker up. Elias: “Have you ever been in battle?” Ryker: “Have you ever been in battle? Because I served in Iraq.” End of segment.

Kofi Kingston doesn’t appreciate Drew McIntyre suggesting that having a family could hold back your career. He respects everything Drew has done over his career but he can’t respect that kind of a cheap shot. Tonight, he’s going to beat Drew and then show him how to do what he hasn’t been able to do in three months (Kofi: “Though it feels like three years.”): beat Bobby Lashley.

Tag Team Titles: AJ Styles/Omos vs. Jaxson Ryker/Elias

Ryker/Elias are challenging with Elias jumping AJ to start. A snap suplex sets up a knee drop to AJ’s head but Ryker tags himself in. AJ manages to send him outside and we take a break. Back with Ryker grabbing a chinlock but getting caught with a Pele for the breather. Ryker goes over for the tag…but Elias drops to the floor. Omos comes in and gets to clean house as Ryker is wrecked. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes for Styles at 9:52.

Rating: D+. And there goes another team, as it seems we might be getting a Ryker face push. Why that would be conceived as a good idea is beyond me, but does it matter at this point? Maybe this is just something for Memorial Day, but the idea of breaking up another team in the already barely alive division seems like a really bad choice.

Nia Jax tells Reginald to be careful with Alexa Bliss. She’ll have the champagne on ice though.

Post break Elias is running from Ryker, who he has has lost it. Ryker is a veteran and an incredible athlete but he is unpredictable. The idea of traveling the roads with him makes Elias sick and he’s done.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Reginald as the guest. Shayna Baszler pops up to beat Reginald down, but Alexa Bliss says Lily doesn’t like her. Baszler says this is becoming a problem and she needs to have a “chat” with Bliss. They can see each other next week. Baszler tells Lily that she is just a stupid doll.

The Viking Raiders give Mansoor some advice. Mustafa Ali comes up to say don’t trust anyone around here. Mansoor asks why he should trust Ali, who says Mansoor is getting it.

Bobby Lashley and MVP are having a good time with the women but get interrupted for some questions. MVP talks about how he doesn’t really care who wins tonight, because neither is taking the title. They can’t be at ringside anyway, so they’re going to have some fun.

Kofi Kingston vs. Drew McIntyre

The winner gets the title shot against Lashley (who, along with MVP, are barred from ringside) at HIAC. Kingston has a Green Ranger look here, because he can make something like that work. They start fast with Kofi grabbing some rollups for two each, earning himself a chop into the corner. Back up and Kofi manages to knock him outside, setting up a springboard trust fall as we take a break.

We come back with Kofi hammering away in the corner but getting knocked down again. A suplex gives McIntyre two but Kofi grabs a guillotine, which is countered into a suplex which is countered into a small package to give Kingston two. Some running forearms in the corner rock McIntyre but he snaps off a belly to belly suplex.

There’s a second suplex but Kofi counters a right hand into the SOS for two. Drew heads outside so Kofi goes onto the top of the post for the trust fall. That’s pulled out of the air though (because you can do that) and Drew sends him over the barricade as we take a break. Back again with Drew getting two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and cranking on both arms at once. With that broken up, a frustrated Drew takes him to the top but gets reversed into a powerbomb.

Kofi’s middle rope dropkick connects but Drew gets creative with a swinging Futureshock for two. A spinebuster gives McIntyre two more and a superkick gives Kofi the same. Kofi goes up top but Drew hits the choke throw superplex. The Claymore is cut off by Trouble In Paradise for a very close two as Drew grabs the rope. Kofi sends him to the floor and hits the standing double stomp from the apron. Back in and Kingston goes up again but gets Claymored out of the air for the pin at 22:40.

Rating: B+. I really, really liked this one as you had McIntyre wanting to get back to the title match but Kofi was staying on him every step. You could feel Kofi’s efforts to get back to the main event because it has been a pretty long time. This worked very well as a result and they had a heck of a match with a clean finish to send McIntyre to the pay per view. That needs to be his last title shot, but at least he got there in a very good way.

We get a post match handshake and here are Bobby Lashley and MVP for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. If I could, I would split this into two different ratings, with the main event being its own section. That match felt like it was from a totally different company, as it was entertaining, well put together and didn’t have nonsense included. That’s what sets it apart from the rest of the show, which was mostly junk.

The biggest problem on Raw is everything but the wrestling. Between the bad creative, horrible storytelling, badly scripted promos and everything moving at such a slow pace, there is only so much anyone can get out of it. There are times where it feels like they are actively trying to make a bad show and that can get really old in a hurry. Some of the parts of this show felt like a joke that got way out of hand but WWE keeps running with it anyway. That has been the case for years now and it has taken a pretty serious toll.

But then there is the main event, which was about as good of a match as you’re going to get on Raw these days. It had none of the nonsense that dragged the rest of the show down and that was so nice to see. McIntyre and Kingston proved that the talent is there and if you cut off so much of the nonsense and bad ideas, Raw could be a totally watchable show. The rest of the night was mostly bad (though not entirely), but the main event bailed a lot of this show out. Again.

Results
Nikki Cross b. Charlotte when the time limit expired
Randy Orton b. Xavier Woods – Bro Derek
Reginald b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
Mace/T-Bar b. Lucha House Party – Double chokeslam to Metalik
Ricochet b. Sheamus – Rollup
Humberto Carrillo b. Sheamus – Rollup
Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke b. Lana/Naomi – Fireman’s carry/Samoan drop combination to Lana
Cedric Alexander b. Shelton Benjamin – Neuralizer
AJ Styles/Omos b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Phenomenal Forearm to Ryker
Drew McIntyre b. Kofi Kingston – Claymore

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 




New Column: The New Greatest Tag Team: On Earth

These guys give me hope for the future.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-new-greatest-tag-team-earth/