New Column: From Fire To Bronuts In Seven Minutes Or Less
Maybe this has something to do with those low ratings.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-fire-bronuts-seven-minutes-less/
Maybe this has something to do with those low ratings.
https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-fire-bronuts-seven-minutes-less/
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 17, 2006
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
We’re done with Saturday Night’s Main Event and as a result, absolutely nothing has changed. Therefore, it’s time to get ready for Summerslam and John Cena challenging Edge for the Raw World Title seems to be a likely choice. That is the kind of match that deserves the big stage and hopefully that’s exactly what it gets. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
D-Generation X joins us with a special message: a video recapping them being mean to Vince McMahon over the last few weeks. It’s not much funnier in a big video package either.
Here’s DX, featuring hometown boy Shawn Michaels, for a chat. Actually we make that a discussion of which shirt they are supposed to be wearing tonight. HHH thought they were wearing the old one, available at the merchandise stands and WWEShop.com. Michaels thinks it’s the new one, which is also available at the merchandise stands and WWEShop.com, though he has to read his locations off his wrist. HHH: “Easy there Miz.”
With the important stuff out of the way, Shawn has heard that Vince McMahon is kind of mad at them but they aren’t sure why. HHH takes a quick poll of the audience about whether or not they should stop. HHH: “Now come on Shane. Uh, Shawn. It’s live TV give me a break.” Besides, there’s no way the people here, in Shawn’s hometown of San Antonio, Texas, would want to see DX face the McMahons in a tag match tonight.
The fans disagree so HHH thinks we should make the match. Cue the McMahons, with Vince calling DX a bunch of degenerate juvenile delinquents. Vince says tonight, we’ll have Shawn vs. Shane, which seems to take the latter by surprise. Shane didn’t like Shawn’s impression, because he DOES NOT dance around like a midget on crack. Tonight, instead of the Alamo, these people will remember Shane beating Shawn 1-2-3. The DX plugs are always worth a chuckle.
Carlito vs. Shelton Benjamin
The winner gets a future Intercontinental Title show (or Cruiserweight Title shot according to the introductions). Shelton headlocks him down to start and the armbar is on in a hurry. That’s reversed into an exchange of rollups for two each before Shelton kicks him in the face for two. The chinlock is on in a hurry and Shelton switches to right hands and choking like a villain should.
It’s off to a sleeper, which is broken up in a hurry so Carlito can hit a clothesline. A springboard back elbow gives Carlito two but the Backstabber is countered. Shelton grabs a cradle but can’t reach the rope. Instead, Carlito reverses into one of his own and successfully grabs the rope for the pin and the title shot.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see in this one and the ending was hardly in doubt after Carlito beat Nitro in the mixed tag on Saturday. There was no need to do anything tricky here and going with Carlito as the next challenger makes as much sense as anyone else. You can always use some fresh stars so pushing someone as a new face is worth a shot.
We look back at John Cena beating Edge via DQ on Saturday, though he did put Edge through the announcers’ table to continue the feud.
Trish Stratus hits on Carlito, who declares that cool.
This Week In Wrestling History: The Brawl To End It All. Yeah that was pretty big.
Trish Stratus/Torrie Wilson vs. Mickie James/Victoria
Candice Michelle is guest referee for obvious reasons. Mickie drops Torrie in a hurry and Trish has to be held back to break up some interference. Victoria’s dancing moonsault takes too long to set up though and it’s off to Trish to take over. Victoria whips Mickie into the corner but misses Trish, only to have Mickie break up the Stratusphere. Candice doesn’t like the interference and throws Mickie outside, leaving Trish to hit Stratusfaction for the pin on Victoria. Short match with an obvious point.
Armando Alejandro Estrada isn’t worried about Umaga facing John Cena tonight. Umaga has no comment on the subject, though he does shout after Estrada hits his catchphrases.
Mick Foley joins us from WWE Studios and yes, this is the shirt he wore when he was interviewed by Katie Couric. For now though, Foley wants to talk about Ric Flair, who remembers beating Foley two straight falls at Vengeance. Foley remembers it as Flair being left bloody and broke, which was Foley’s plan all along. That’s why Flair is getting no rematch, as Foley has nothing left to prove.
Charlie Haas and Viscera are not explaining their actions against Lilian Garcia last week.
We recap the Diva Search Boot Camp from Smackdown.
Highlanders vs. Jared Steel/Russell Simpson
Steel and Simpson jump the Highlanders from behind and the fight is on in a hurry. That’s about it for the offense as Robbie headbutts Simpson down and it’s time for Fun With Kilts. The Scot Drop finishes Simpson in a hurry.
Post match the Highlanders challenge the Spirit Squad for the Tag Team Titles. Unlike the Squad, they have something beneath their kilts.
Post break, DX meets the Highlanders and tells them to go meet Vince in his office. Make yourselves at home, shout in his ear, and hug him a lot. More on this later I assume.
John Cena vs. Umaga
Armando Alejandro Estrada is here with Umaga but Cena jumps him in the corner before the bell. Umaga shrugs it off and sends Cena flying through the chalkboard as the bell rings. A piece of the board goes over Cena’s back and the beating is on in a hurry. Cena tries to fight back but a shot to the throat cuts him right back down. A knee to the chest keeps Cena in trouble and his quick STFU attempt doesn’t work.
Umaga runs him over with a clothesline and here are Edge and Lita to watch Cena being tied in the Tree of Woe. The running headbutt connects but the running hip attack only hits corner. Cena goes after Edge, earning him a whip into the steps from Umaga. The top rope splash misses though and Cena slugs away, even managing the ProtoBomb. There’s the Shuffle but Edge comes in, allowing Umaga to hit a superkick into the Samoan Spike for the pin.
Rating: C. They kept this moving and while Umaga won with some interference, he still beat Cena and that is quite the accomplishment for someone who has only been around for a few months. Cena vs. Edge will be the big showdown at Summerslam, but Umaga got a lot out of this win. They’re trying something new here and hopefully it works out well for everyone.
Vince comes into his office and throws the Highlanders out for eating his food. One of them gives him a spank on his way out, which makes Vince jump.
Randy Orton vs. Eugene
Eugene’s jacket still has the green paint from last week. Orton takes him down in a hurry as the HOGAN chants start up. Eugene gets in a shot of his own and mocks Orton’s pose, earning himself a heck of a clothesline. The backbreaker into the RKO finishes Eugene in a hurry.
Post match Orton tells Eugene to never take advantage of the McMahons again. He would never take advantage of Brooke Hogan like that, because she’s a very pretty girl. Orton likes that song About Us, but he would like to show us his favorite hit. We see Orton giving Hulk Hogan the RKO onto the back of a car on Saturday, which somehow confused Brooke. I mean I know the Hogans are gullible but come on now.
Back in the WWE Studios, Mick Foley gives Melina a shout out and talks about how impressive Ric Flair was in his hardcore match. Flair got extreme, so maybe next week he can wear a flannel shirt or drive a minivan! Foley sings a little Michael Jackson to say that Flair is out of his life but here’s Flair in the arena to interrupt. Flair is bandaged up and shows us a clip of his match with Big Show on ECW. Flair: “That would be an a** whooping and a half!”
Here’s Miz for the first elimination in the Diva Search. Amy is eliminated and we’re having a Diva Dance Off this week on Smackdown.
Vince is annoyed at DX, and Shane finding an “I HEART COCKS” sign on his back makes it worse. Shane’s sign says “ME TOO”.
Shawn Michaels vs. Shane McMahon
HHH and Vince are at ringside. Joined in progress with Michaels sending Shane outside for an Asai moonsault and some right hands. Vince offers a distraction though and Shane scores with a Shawn forearm into the nip up (JR on Vince: “His boy Shane just won the pony.”). The top rope elbow connects and, after running around the ring, Shane tunes up the band.
The superkick is blocked though and Shawn punches him down. There’s the real forearm into the nip up (Shane’s was fake….somehow) and the elbow keeps Shane in trouble. Vince breaks up Sweet Chin Music so HHH chases him off. Cue the Spirit Squad to jump Shawn for the DQ.
Rating: C-. As is the case with most McMahon matches, keeping it short is a good idea. Shane mimicking Shawn was a good idea and the match could have been a lot worse under different circumstances. It’s good that Shane didn’t take the fall, but can DX ever break a real sweat in this feud?
Post match the Squad sends HHH into the steps and beats up Shawn. Shane loads up some chairs but HHH is back with the sledgehammer to clear the ring, because DX can’t look bad even when it’s six on one.
Overall Rating: D+. This show went by rather quickly but that doesn’t mean it went well. Cena vs. Umaga was interesting but the money match is against Edge. Then you have the DX vs. McMahons stuff and….yeah it’s starting to wear thin. There is a lot of juice left in the feud if they do it right, but that’s not what is going on. DX is running through the McMahons and/or their goons every week and that is taking away a lot of the interest in the feud. The rest of the show was your usual stuff, but they need to tweak that main event story in a hurry.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 14, 2020
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe
It’s the go home show for TLC and that means it is time to really hammer things home for Sunday. In other words, there is a good chance that this show is not going to be all that great or eventful, but commentary will tell us how important Sunday is going to be. Granted it won’t be, but that’s traditional for the December show. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a recap of Sheamus accidentally Brogue Kicking Drew McIntyre in the face. Everything wound up being fine though, as it tends to be when someone kicks someone else in the face.
Opening sequence.
We open with the Dirt Sheet, featuring a Christmas theme and Miz reading The Nightmare Before TLC. The story involves AJ Styles (here), Omos (introduced by AJ but Miz says he isn’t that important and turns the lights out on him) and Drew McIntyre (as played by John Morrison ala Braveheart). They act out Sunday’s match, starting with a chair shot (Morrison: “OW ME BACK!”) and then stabbing Drew with the sword.
Then Miz will cash in the briefcase, which doesn’t sit well with AJ. Styles: “That is not in the book that I gave you!”. The argument is on until Sheamus, who faces AJ tonight, comes out to interrupt. AJ tries to back up and throws a Christmas tree at him. Sheamus sends him outside and we’re ready to go. The book treatment was better, but man alive Miz and Morrison are dragging these things down.
Sheamus vs. AJ Styles
Sheamus takes him into the corner and hammers away so AJ needs a breather on the floor. Back in and AJ scores with some kicks to the head to slow Sheamus down a bit. Sheamus is fine enough to hit a knee to the face, only to have AJ start kicking at the leg. That just earns AJ another shot to the face and a toss suplex.
It works so well that Sheamus does it again but AJ knocks him outside. Sheamus catches the dive on his shoulders but Omos intercepts a powerbomb attempt. The staredown is on and we take a break. Back with AJ working away on the leg and kicking away in the corner, only to get caught in the Irish Curse.
Sheamus sends him flying and gets two off a knee to the face. AJ grabs a quick Calf Crusher to send Sheamus bailing to the ropes and a quick White Noise gives Sheamus two. With nothing else working, Sheamus loads up a super White Noise but AJ slips out and goes for the knee again, setting up the rollup pin at 15:52.
Rating: B. They beat each other up for a long time here with the knee work playing into the ending. I’m not sure what else you can ask for out of a match like this, which shows you what throwing a Christmas tree can do. Sheamus doesn’t lose anything by losing to AJ and AJ gets a nice win. Not bad for one match.
Post match AJ talks trash so Sheamus grabs him, only for Omos to pull him into the ropes to tie him up. AJ unloads with chair shots to the legs and ribs to leave Sheamus mostly out of it.
The Hurt Business harasses a member of the production crew who is eating a Bronut and wearing a Riddle hat. He just found the hat and offers them a bronut, which earns him some milk over his head. With the crew member gone, the team promises to destroy the New Day and Riddle.
Riddle comes up to New Day and Jeff Hardy and since everyone misses Big E., he should be Bro E. against the Hurt Business later. New Day seems to agree.
Jeff Hardy/New Day vs. Hurt Business
Riddle and MVP are here too. Lashley runs over Woods to start but Woods kicks him in the ribs and brings Kofi in. That earns Kofi a gorilla press toss, though Alexander tagging himself in doesn’t sit well with Lashley. It’s off to Hardy, who sends Alexander into the corner. That earns him a kick to the ribs though and Shelton comes in to slug away.
Hardy knocks Shelton off the apron though and the rest of the Hurt Business follows, meaning it’s time for a trombone concert to send us to a break. Back with Kofi jumping over Shelton in the corner and hitting a clothesline. The Boom Drop connects but Lashley breaks up Trouble in Paradise. Alexander slams Kofi head first into the mat and Shelton bends Kofi’s back around the ropes.
Lashley elbows him down in the corner and the stomping continues. Kofi finally fights up and rolls over for the hot tag to Jeff to pick up the pace. Alexander takes Jeff down and talks a lot of trash, only to get caught in a Russian legsweep. Everything breaks down and Woods dives onto Lashley on the floor, only to get pulled out of the air. Lashley throws Woods around and head back inside where the Hurt Lock finishes Hardy at 15:53.
Rating: C+. Another long match here with both teams getting to look good. The Hurt Business is turning into one of the better teams in a good while on Raw and I could go for seeing a lot more of them in the future. It’s also nice to not have the makeshift team beat the established one, making this a rather fine use of a good chunk of the show.
We look back at least week with Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler and Asuka/Lana firing each other up. Lana is still scared of Nia because of course.
Asuka says that even though Lana is scared of Nia, she can go out there and fight anyway. Lana agrees, which Asuka says makes her brave.
Lana vs. Nia Jax
Nia shoves her down to start and then takes it into the corner for a splash. Lana manages a hurricanrana and kicks Nia down, only to get headbutted on top. The super Samoan drop is escaped though and Lana pulls Nia down into a cradle for the fluke pin at 1:45.
Post match Shayna Baszler jumps Asuka in the back as Nia beats Lana up. Shayna comes out and snaps Lana’s arm before stomping on the leg. Lana’s boot is taken off so Shayna can work on the leg even more, including Nia hitting a legdrop onto the leg. Asuka finally comes in for the save as the Lana sympathy is cranked up even more. Still not exactly working, but this was more of a classic formula as Lana actually did SOMETHING for once. Granted the fact that it was her first singles match win in two and a half years (and second ever), maybe they’re slowly starting to figure it out.
Here’s Elias, who introduces Jaxson Ryker as his new associate. Ryker understands the universal truth, which is that WWE stands for WALK WITH ELIAS. Ryker talks about how Elias’ music has changed him for the better and now he is going to change WWE. Elias starts playing but here’s R-Truth to interrupt. He apologizes for interrupting Elias’ performance last week on Main Event because he isn’t an interrupter. The song starts again but here’s the menagerie of numskulls to chase Truth. Ryker takes them out for a change, allowing Truth to leave.
Miz and John Morrison talk strategy to take the WWE Title but here’s Keith Lee with a coin. Miz calls heads before the toss or even knowing the stakes, but Lee says they both win, meaning pain is coming.
Keith Lee vs. Miz/John Morrison
Miz gets knocked to the floor to start so Morrison slaps Lee in the face, which goes as well as you would expect. Some double teaming has Lee in some trouble though and a knee to the face puts him down. That earns Morrison a toss into the air for a crash to the mat. The Pounce (or at least Lee getting close to him) sends Morrison flying over the top and we take a break.
Back with Miz hitting the short DDT into Morrison’s standing shooting star press for two. Miz is sent crashing to the floor, where he trips Lee down to break up a suplex on Morrison. Back in and Lee suplexes both of them at once but Morrison slips out of the Spirit Bomb. Miz gets in a shot from behind so Morrison can hit the Flying Chuck, setting up the double pin on Lee at 10:01.
Rating: D+. Well it’s a good thing that we make sure to keep Mr. Money in the Bank and his comedy partner strong by having Lee lose again. We’re firmly to the point now where Lee is in a free fall and that’s a scary thought to imagine. Miz and Morrison have been one of the weakest things on the show for months now and here they get to pin Lee. All to set up what is likely going to be a failed cash in several weeks if not months from now. How generous of them.
We look back at Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt from last week, with Bray turning into the Fiend to end the show.
Here’s Bray Wyatt for a road trip, complete with the puppets on the other side of the barricade. Bray is glad to be here but he needs to apologize to Randy Orton for everything that has been happening in recent weeks. Things have gotten out of hand and the Fiend has a mind of his own. After Orton takes Him on this Sunday, Bray isn’t sure what is going to be left of Randy.
It won’t be any fun and games because all that is left is sadness. Yowie Wowie that’s alright! There won’t be any fun and games on Sunday, so Bray has prepared some jokes for tonight and they are going to be HYSTERICAL. What’s the best way to measure a viper? In inches, because they don’t have any feet. What do snakes use to clean their car windows? Windshield vipers! That one knocks Bray to his knees but here’s Orton on the screen to interrupt.
Orton talks about how the Fiend changed him last week, just like Bray changed into the Fiend. For the first time in a long time, Orton was outmaneuvered by Him, so tonight, Bray should come see him. Tonight, they can play a game of hide and seek. Bray loves the idea and accepts so Orton says come find him. The puppets approve as Bray says let the games begin. More on this later.
Mace vs. Ricochet
Mustafa Ali is on commentary. Mace sends him into the corner for a running elbow, followed by the elbows to the face. We hit the chinlock but Ricochet fights up and kicks Mace down. The running shooting star press gets two (second time we’ve seen that move in two matches) but Ricochet has to fight off the rest of Retribution. A chokebomb gives Mace two and a fireman’s carry spun around into a slam (kind of like an Air Raid Crash but without trapping the leg) for the pin on Ricochet at 2:55.
Post match Ali says this isn’t over with Ricochet until it’s over.
Bray Wyatt goes to find Orton and asks if Riddle has seen him. Riddle: “Hey bro.” Bray: “Actually it’s Bray.” Riddle has a new idea: Bro Nouns (he has a Venn diagram), which would be great for an episode of Firefly Fun House. Bray leaves but Ramblin Rabbit pops up. Riddle dubs him Bro Baby Yoda and has him sign a carrot for his rabbit named Skipper. This was one of the more bizarre things I’ve ever seen.
Dana Brooke vs. Shayna Baszler
Nia is here with Shayna. During the entrances, we’re told that Lana is out of TLC due to the attack earlier. Asuka will still get a title shot, but with a mystery partner. Shayna kicks her into the corner to start but Brook avoids the arm stomp. Dana goes up top, where Nia shoves her down for the DQ at 1:23.
Post match Mandy Rose runs in for the save with a kendo stick. Asuka runs in to help with the fight and the good women stand tall.
R-Truth talks to Huskus the Pig when Bray comes up to say Huskus shouldn’t talk to strangers. Truth thinks Bray is Huskus’ father, so Bray says HIDE AND SEEK and runs off. Truth: “What a beautiful family.”
Post break Bray goes looking for Randy but finds an empty, shaking rocking chair. Bray has a seat and Orton pops up behind him for the beatdown. Orton sends him into various things and then locks Bray inside a wooden case. He whips out a well placed can of gasoline and pours it on said crate, which is then set on fire. The Fiend pops up and Mandible Claws Orton. This ends the most obvious surprise in recent memory, but Orton’s face helped a lot.
Back from a break and we look back at what we just saw.
Riddle vs. MVP
MVP forearms away to start but misses the running boot in the corner. Riddle hits the Final Flash and the Floating Bro is good for the pin at 48 seconds.
Bobby Lashley runs out for the beatdown but Riddle escapes with the bronuts. I’d like to point out that Randy Orton tried to LIGHT BRAY WYATT ON FIRE a few minutes ago and now it’s Riddle talking about how he’s having a sugary treat.
It’s time for the Championship Ascension Ceremony so here are AJ Styles and Drew McIntyre with Tom Phillips in the ring. AJ says Drew doesn’t need to address him, but rather the title, because he won’t be having it around his waist again. This is going to be their first ever singles match so maybe AJ needs to find out a little more about McIntyre. AJ can’t believe that it took Drew nineteen years to get here but AJ is ready to use every table, ladder and chair to get the title back.
Drew calls that an impressive speech and says he has always wanted to face AJ. This Sunday, the match is TLC and no, he has never been in one before. Drew says he thought his goal was to win the WWE Title but the loss and second win changed everything for him. It is so much harder to stay champion and he was the man who lead WWE through uncharted waters. He’s a frickin diamond and he’s ready for AJ on Sunday. Every man dies but not every man truly lives, so on Sunday he’s willing to do whatever it takes to remain champion.
The title is raised up but AJ says he isn’t the only person Drew is facing on Sunday. Cue Miz and Morrison to jump Drew, who fights them all off and throws a ladder to the floor. Omos throws in the steps for a distraction though and AJ chop blocks Drew down (nice move after setting it up earlier tonight against Sheamus). The Phenomenal Forearm connects and AJ adds some ladder shots. AJ tells Omos to throw in some more stuff so we get a table and another ladder. Various other shots let AJ climb the ladder to pull down the title…and we cut off with Tom in the middle of his big close.
Overall Rating: C. The first hour of this was rather good but then it started to go downhill in a hurry. The biggest problem with this show is TLC is mostly set already, leaving little for this show to cover. There were some good matches, but seeing Miz and Morrison beat Lee and Lana being pulled from the match that they have spent three and a half months building (though it wouldn’t shock me to see her wrestle anyway) was a bit deflating. The show wasn’t awful, but it’s one you can almost completely skip (Sheamus vs. AJ was good), which isn’t the best way to set up a pay per view.
Results
AJ Styles b. Sheamus – Rollup
Hurt Business b. Jeff Hardy/New Day – Hurt Lock to Hardy
Lana b. Nia Jax – Cradle
John Morrison/Miz b. Keith Lee – Double pin
Mace b. Ricochet – Fireman’s carry spun into a slam
Dana Brooke b. Shayna Baszler via DQ when Nia Jax interfered
Riddle b. MVP – Floating Bro
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 10, 2006
Location: Tyson Events Center, Sioux City, Iowa
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Everything got shook up last week as Edge beat Rob Van Dam to win the Raw World Title. Other than that, it’s time to head towards Dallas for Saturday Night’s Main Event, which was scheduled to feature last week’s main event. Odds are something is going to change for that show, which is likely only going one way. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a look at last week’s title change.
John Cena vs. Shelton Benjamin
Edge and Lita are sitting at their own commentary table, as Edge is defending against Cena on Saturday in your new main event. Cena whips him into the corner to start but Shelton is back with a suplex. A snap suplex sets up a chinlock as Lawler is begging Edge and Lita for a live celebration. Back up and Cena misses a crossbody, meaning it’s right back to the chinlock.
That’s broken up with an electric chair so Cena goes up, only to have Edge offer a distraction. Shelton hits a great looking springboard enziguri to put Cena on the floor and we take a break. Back with Shelton holding another chinlock as Edge gets in his version of Dusty Rhodes’ “wined and dined with kings and queens” line as Cena makes the comeback. The FU is countered though and Shelton grabs a Samoan drop for two. The Stinger Splash misses though and it’s the STFU for the tap.
Rating: C. The chinlocks took some of the life out of this but Cena was looking good while it lasted. Shelton is a solid choice for an opponent here as he can have just enough credibility to give Cena a sweat but he’s still not going to be actually score the upset. Good opener here, with Edge and Lita rolling on commentary.
Post match Cena charges at Edge and the fight is on. Lita grabs Cena’s leg so Edge can hammer away and the Impaler into the spear leaves Cena laying. Edge and Lita say they’re heading to the hotel.
We look back at DX’s barbecue last week and the two of them torturing Vince McMahon.
Eugene mocks Vince and Shane McMahon over last week and shouts catchphrases at them. Vince thinks there should be a handicap match tonight, and guess who is facing the McMahons. Eugene: “Dr. Isaac Yankem?” Shane isn’t happy with Eugene’s lack of getting it.
Melina vs. Trish Stratus
Johnny Nitro is here with Melina. Trish chases her to the apron to start and it’s time to scream a lot. Melina bails underneath the ring and a Nitro distraction lets Melina get in a kick to the back of the head. We hit the chinlock for a bit with Trish fighting out of it, setting up the Stratusphere out of the corner. The spinning headscissors into a spinebuster gives Trish two and Melina is in trouble. Nitro offers a distraction though and Melina’s rollup with tights gets the pin.
Rating: D+. Just a match here and there is nothing wrong with that on the way to making Melina something. Trish vs. Melina isn’t exactly a major feud but the women’s division has been dying for fresh blood for a very, very long time now. Melina might not be the future, but they have to bring in someone else so points for doing anything.
Post match Carlito runs in to go after Nitro to build towards Saturday’s mixed tag.
Edge and Lita go to a hotel but their room isn’t ready yet. Time to hit the bar, albeit after Edge yells at the desk clerk.
Highlanders vs. Rob Conway/Matt Striker
Striker’s music interrupts the Highlanders’ pre-match chat so Striker can go nowhere with Rory. Conway comes in and gets beaten up in the corner, setting up the Battering Ram for two. Robbie scares Striker off the apron and there’s a double shoulder to drop Conway again. The Scot Drop is good for the fast pin.
Ric Flair is ready to tell the world the truth about Mick Foley.
Here’s Ric Flair to tell the world the truth about Mick Foley. Flair talks about Foley challenging him to a classic wrestling match at Vengeance and Flair beat him two straight falls. That was all the proof you need that Foley is a glorified stuntman….and here’s Foley on the screen to interrupt. Foley talks about how Flair talked out of the side of his a**, got rather drunk, hired a ghostwriter and slapped his name on a book to call himself an author. On the other hand, Foley wrote everything out on 760 pages of notebook paper and became a New York Times bestseller.
Foley wants to take us back to Munich, Germany in 1994 when Flair was Foley’s boss. That night, Foley got his head caught in the ropes, threw a punch, and dropped his ear. Someone took the ear back to Flair, who put it on ice and saw Foley finishing the match. Foley is the guy who ate peanut butter and jelly, drove 1000 miles round trip and slept in his car while learning to wrestle while Flair grabs men’s genitalia today and calls it wrestling. Foley: “Heading into Vengeance, I hadn’t been in fear of another man since I was an altar boy.”
Flair has talked about all these people who had beaten him up and all the pain and agony. They were going to go all night and all day and CAN YOU PLEASE GET A NEW CLICHE??? After Vengeance, that spot that Flair had in Foley’s mind was gone. Flair is a 16 time World Champion but Foley has his own titles. He’s the Hardcore Legend, a 3 time WWE Champion, a two time bestselling author, he’s been interviewed twice by Katie Couric and he’s a personal friend of Melina.
Whether Flair likes it or not, he gets no rematch because he’s out of Foley’s life. Flair: “Foley, will you quit crying about the past???” I’ll pause for the ironic laughter. Flair wants Foley right now in a hardcore match….and here’s Paul Heyman for one of the most bizarre standoffs I’ve ever seen. Flair has talked about how much garbage there is in ECW, but Heyman prefers to call it Extreme Entertainment.
Maybe Flair has not heard about it, but there is a new ECW World Champion and Heyman shows us some footage of the title change. Cue Big Show to say Flair is great but there is one thing he has never done: won the WWE, WCW and ECW World Titles. Maybe Flair can come do that too so the challenge is on for tomorrow night. Flair accepts and the title match is set, only to have a Heyman distraction set up the cobra clutch backbreaker to leave Flair laying.
There was a LOT to cover here. The Foley promo was the kind of thing you would expect from him when it’s time to get serious and the fire was there in his eyes. That kind of a story is hard to overcome and Foley was incredible as usual. Then there’s the Big Show challenging Flair and…..yeah it’s not helping ECW. It continues the trend of ECW needing guest stars and while it’s true, it doesn’t bode well for the show’s future. The biggest problem is it isn’t clear what ECW itself is, other than a place for Raw wrestlers to show up if there is nothing for them to do on Monday.
Vince and Shane are warming up with a baseball bat when Eugene comes in. Eugene can’t talk his way out of the match but they hand him a DX shirt….and then cover him with slime. Shane sends him into the wall and then shoves Eugene’s head into the toilet. Eugene is thrown out and Vince tosses the shirt with him.
During the break, Paul Heyman offered Candice Michelle a dance off against Kelly tomorrow, but she instead offers to dance with Kelly.
Viscera vs. Charlie Haas
Haas gets knocked into the corner to start and there’s the big chop to keeps him in trouble. Viscera stops to shout at Lilian Garcia and gets his throat snapped across the top rope. A kick to the back rocks Viscera but he charges into a swinging Boss Man Slam. The hip thrusting running splash misses….and Lilian tells them to start. She gets in the ring and says she just wants to be friends with both of them, but Haas pokes him in the eyes. The blind Viscera hits a Samoan drop on Lilian (because he’s now blind and dumb) and the match is stopped for medical treatment. Not enough to rate, but this was bad.
Post match, Viscera and Haas leave together because it seems to be a plan. Ok so maybe he isn’t so dumb.
Edge and Lita are a little intoxicated at the bar via a lot of mimosas.
Here’s the Miz to bring out the Diva Search finalists, though he stumbles through some material and has to read a number off of his wrist. We bring out the women and Miz says that’s why he got nervous. They all get twenty seconds to introduce themselves, with the first offering to be our sex kitten. Miz seems to approve of Maryse, who says she wants to be the next Fabulous Moolah, though the fans don’t seem to care.
Rebecca pulls something out of her boot and throws it all onto the rest of them. Most of them basically say they’re good looking, suck up to the crowd and say vote for them, showing the range of this group. Miz has a curve ball: this Friday will be the first challenge with Diva Boot Camp. He gets to say the information again and gets a lot close this time.
Jim Duggan yells at Shane McMahon for picking on Eugene and offers to beat some respect into him. Vince comes in to hit Duggan with a chair and the McMahons both give us a HOO.
Here’s Randy Orton to talk about how Hulk Hogan will be at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Hogan is a legend, and on Saturday he gets to meet the Legend Killer.
Randy Orton vs. Val Venis
RKO in 20 seconds.
Post match, Orton says he’s looking forward to meeting Hogan’s daughter Brooke too.
Edge and Lita are in their room when room service arrives. They need champagne and they want it in three minutes.
Smackdown rebound.
Saturday Night’s Main Event rundown.
Champagne arrives….but it’s disguised as John Cena, who beats the heck out of Edge. Cena sends him face first into the food (Cena: “The steak is actually pretty good.”) and lays him out with the title belt. Cena rings the dinner bell and leaves.
Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Eugene
The McMahons still have the slime on them and let’s make this No DQ for a bonus. Vince handles Eugene’s entrance, saying he is lean, mean, green and Eugene, who is still covered in slime. Cue the Spirit Squad to make it worse and Shane gets in a cheap shot as Vince heads to the apron with a mic for some live commentary. Shane punches Eugene down as Vince starts yelling about how no one is laughing now.
Eugene Hulks Up and hits the big boot, which draws in the Spirit Squad for the big beatdown. Shane loads up the big elbow through the announcers’ table but here’s DX to cut it off. Vince is glad to see them and wants the two of them to come to the middle of the ramp. Vince keeps looking above them and says NOW but nothing happens….so Eugene rolls Vince up for the pin.
Rating: D. Again, this was more about the angle than the wrestling itself and that’s perfectly fine. DX getting to mess with the McMahons again works, but it would be nice to have DX actually break a sweat for once. The main idea is fine, but at some point you need to make the heroes feel threatened. So far they have just been toying with the McMahons and the Spirit Squad and I don’t see that changing on Saturday.
DX is in hysterics on the stage and gives us the catchphrase to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This was basically a big commercial for various things, ranging from the Diva Search to ECW to Saturday Night’s Main Event to the long term future with Summerslam (whenever they bring it up). That works out well, but the stuff in between is pretty horrible, with Viscera and Haas now seemingly becoming a team. Not a bad show, but it would be nice to not have so many things going on at once.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: December 7, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton
We’re less than two weeks away from Tables, Ladders And Chairs and that means we are almost to the end of this version of the Thunderdome. Things are getting a little more interesting around here and hopefully we get something better on the way to the pay per view. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with the locker room on the stage again for another ten bell salute to Pat Patterson. There aren’t many people who deserve it more.
Here’s Randy Orton to get things going. After a look back at last week when he was a guest on A Moment Of Bliss and seemed to get inside the Fiend’s head by messing with Bliss, Orton talks about how he got rid of his moral compass years ago. Orton is the kind of monster that Bray should be afraid of so worry about who is there when you let him in.
Cue Bray in the Firefly Fun House to say Orton gets little old him tonight. Orton says he isn’t in the mood for games…..so Bray says it’s time to play the fireflies’ favorite game show: Let’s Get Randy. Bray now has a bad wig and a microphone and sends us to the three contestants: Mercy the Buzzard, Ramblin Rabbit and Huskus the Pig. The prizes tonight is a brand new cruces (no idea if I spelled that right) but it’s made from the Tree of Knowledge and forged by St. Louis’ greatest shaman, and the rotting corpse of Friendship the Frog!
The question tonight is how should Orton be punished at TLC. The contestants give their answers, with Rabbit thinking they should sit down and discuss their feelings. Bray: “That’s revolting. You’re sick. Sick.” The solution, with the wig coming off, is coming from the Fiend….who doesn’t actually say anything. Instead Orton says he wants to face Bray tonight because he can face the Fiend at TLC. Bray is down for that.
Nia Jax says that it’s time for Shayna Baszler to destroy Lana for good. Shayna says Lana’s front is going to look like her back and her back is going to look like her front. Jax: “She’s going to have boobs on her back.”
Shayna Baszler vs. Asuka
Non-title and Lana and Nia Jax are at ringside. They go straight to the mat for an exchange of leglocks, with Nia getting a heel hook, Asuka reverses into an ankle lock and then a kneebar but Baszler is out in a hurry. Baszler sends her hard to the floor and we take a break. Back with Baszler working on the arm but Asuka reverses into a rollup for two.
Baszler fires off the kicks to the ribs but Asuka gets the knees up in the corner for a breather. The Kirifuda Clutch is countered with a backflip into a cradle so Asuka tries the Asuka Lock. That’s broken up as Jax goes after Lana, earning herself a trip into the steps. Lana dives at Jax and manages a hurricanrana into the announcers’ table. Baszler can’t believe this and yells at Lana, who runs off so Asuka can roll Baszler up for the pin at 8:38.
Rating: C. This was a nice exchange of submission work until it became about Lana and Jax again because that has been the case for months now. Other than that, we have Baszler losing again because WWE managed to another match between the two most successful NXT Women’s Champions ever and it winds up being about Lana and Jax, because it’s always about Jax in some way.
We look back at Cedric Alexander beating Xavier Woods last week. Therefore, tonight we have Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin because that’s one of WWE’s favorites.
The Hurt Business ran into a guy holding a box of shirts and torment him a bit, as only they can.
We recap last week’s main event, with the combined forces of AJ Styles, John Morrison and Miz not being able to take out Drew McIntyre and Sheamus. Tonight, the combined forces of AJ Styles, John Morrison and Miz try to take out Drew McIntyre and Sheamus.
We look back at Dana Brooke slapping Mustafa Ali in the face last week, leading to Slapjack beating Ricochet. Then later in the night, Dana beat Reckoning in quite the upset.
Riddle brings Dana Brooke and Ricochet some Bronuts, which are part of his idea for MVP. With Riddle gone, Ricochet says he didn’t want to be in Retribution because they’ll all jackasses. He’ll team with Brooke though because they both want to take out Retribution.
Ricochet/Dana Brooke vs. Slapjack/Reckoning
Mustafa Ali is here with Slapjack and Reckoning. Before the match, Retribution promises to end Brooke and Ricochet tonight. Reckoning slaps Brooke to start and the brawl is on early. It’s off to the guys with Ricochet taking Slapjack to the floor for a big flip dive. Back in and Slapjack hits something like a Falcon Arrow for two before it’s back to the women. Brooke grabs a quick Samoan driver for the pin at 1:47. Remember when Retribution went on a winning streak for like two weeks and it seemed that things were getting better? WWE must not have been paying attention.
Post match Ali yells at Reckoning and Slapjack for embarrassing them and storms off.
Keith Lee comes up to Sheamus and knows it’s a matter of time before he turns on Drew McIntyre. Sheamus doesn’t like the sound of that.
It’s time for MizTV (including John Morrison, as usual) with AJ Styles, with Omos, as the guest. Omos is offered a chair but AJ says the big tree prefers to stand. Morrison asks AJ about his plans for the TLC match against Drew McIntyre, so AJ talks about wanting to break a chair over Drew’s back. Miz and Morrison start making fun of Sheamus and McIntyre’s accents as the show morphs into the Dirt Sheet. The gist is that Sheamus is going to turn on McIntyre, with the accents getting thicker and thicker. They attribute the voices to watching a lot of Liam Neeson and Shrek movies but here’s Sheamus to interrupt.
Sheamus knows everyone is going to believe he’s turning on McIntyre, but Miz and Morrison mock his inability to count. There are three of them and one of him, so what is Sheamus supposed to do? Cue McIntyre to say the odds have been against him before and he’s ready to take care of these two again. He knows Miz keeps his testicles in Maryse’s purse but Miz replaced them with Morrison’s when he made Morrison his sidekick b****.
AJ points out that Omos is here too….but they’re on the floor so McIntyre and Sheamus clear the ring. McIntyre throws the MITB briefcase from the ring to the stage (dang) and Miz is distraught. Miz and Morrison still do not feel like anything more than an annoyance to McIntyre and it’s not holding up.
We look back at the opening segment.
Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin
Shelton takes him down to start and fires off a few shots in the corner to keep Kofi in trouble. Kofi gets up and jumps over Shelton out of the corner, only to have the SOS countered into a heck of a powerbomb for two. Shelton slaps on the ankle lock and then sends Kofi outside, where Kofi is favoring his leg. A charge only hits the barricade though and it’s Trouble in Paradise for the pin back inside at 3:25.
Rating: C-. Kind of a weird match here, which didn’t have much time to do anything and only served to get New Day even with the Hurt Business after last week. I was surprised by how fast it wrapped up but sometimes you don’t need to keep things going for the sake of filling time. Kofi getting the win is all that mattered and it worked out fine.
Post match Cedric says not so fast because he wants Kofi too. That’s cool with Kofi and the match is on after a break.
Kofi Kingston vs. Cedric Alexander
Joined in progress with Alexander working on the bad knee, including cranking on the leg on the mat. Kofi fights up and sends him outside, followed by the SOS for two back inside. Cedric takes the leg out again though and a brainbuster gets two. The superplex is broken up but Kofi misses the top rope shot to the head. The Lumbar Check finishes Kofi at 4:20.
Rating: C-. I can go for Cedric picking up some big wins and even though it wasn’t clean, this does set up the Tag Team Title match at TLC. Now granted I’m not sure why we’re going to be seeing another title shot for the Hurt Business, especially a Tag Team Title shot based off of singles wins, but I’ll take almost anything from the Hurt Business. Alexander got a lot of of this win too, even given the situation.
We look back at Elias getting electrocuted last week against Jeff Hardy, who thankfully didn’t bust his head open on the steps.
Pat Patterson tribute video.
Video on Tribute to the Troops.
Sheamus/Drew McIntyre vs. Miz/John Morrison/AJ Styles
McIntyre shoves Morrison around to start and there’s a headbutt to drop him again. Sheamus comes in and trades arm holds with Morrison before hitting him in the face. Miz gets knocked outside and Sheamus and Morrison follow, where Sheamus almost knocks McIntyre down. Instead, the two of them catch a diving Morrison and toss him onto the announcers’ chairs (geez) as we take a break.
Back with Miz getting planted off a double toss suplex as the dominance continues. Miz gets in a shot to the face and hands it off to AJ to hammer away in the corner. Morrison gets to do the same but Miz gets knocked away without much trouble. That means it’s back to Sheamus to wreck Miz a bit, only to have Morrison get in a shot to the face. A double shot to the back gets two on Sheamus and it’s time for some right hands to the face. Morrison flips over Sheamus and grabs a gator roll before handing it back to AJ.
Some right hands in the corner have Sheamus in trouble and a kick to the head makes it worse. The Calf Crusher goes on but Drew breaks that up in a hurry. That allows the hot tag to Morrison, who starts sending Morrison flying (so much that one of the cameras is sent reeling). A double northern lights suplex has Miz and Morrison down again as everything breaks down. The Brogue Kick hits McIntyre by mistake and it’s the Phenomenal Forearm to finish Sheamus at 15:47.
Rating: D+. This took its sweet time getting somewhere but the ending was the right call. Sheamus feels like a much bigger threat to McIntyre than Miz and Morrison and AJ is the biggest threat out of all of them. In other words, they have a good story in there but Miz and Morrison are just kind of there to clog things up.
We look at Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler wanting to destroy Lana. Next week: Lana vs. Jax.
Lana is panicking so Asuka gives her a pep talk. She is going to beat Nia and the win the Tag Team Titles. Asuka leaves and Nia pops up to stare Lana down.
Sheamus knows McIntyre is going to want a fight and he’s ready. That Brogue Kick was NOT intentional but here’s Drew to interrupt. Charly Caruso knows better than to stick around as Drew says Sheamus knows what is about to happen. A lot of breathing ensues.
We come back from a break with Sheamus and McIntyre fighting but Pat Buck breaks it up. That earns him a big slam through a table and Sheamus and McIntyre are cool again.
Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley
Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. Hold on though as Riddle comes up to Jeff in the back and suggest a tag team: the Hardy Bros. Jeff politely declines because he needs to head to the ring. Lashley takes him into the corner to start and the stomping starts early. Some choking makes it worse and MVP is right there to mock Jeff. The Dominator is countered though and Jeff strikes away, only to have the Twist of Fate countered into a failed Hurt Lock attempt.
MVP offers a distraction to break up the Whisper in the Wind so here’s Riddle to take MVP off the apron. Hardy sends Lashley outside for a clothesline off the apron. We take a break and come back with Hardy being sent outside, meaning Lashley gets to yell at Riddle. The Hurt Lock is countered so Lashley settles for rolling Hardy into a rear naked choke. Riddle tries to coach Hardy out of trouble and Hardy rolls over to elbow his way to freedom.
The legdrop between the legs into a basement dropkick gets two on Lashley. Back up and Lashley hits a quick Downward Spiral for two, only to have Hardy come back with the Twist of Fate. It’s too early for the Swanton though and Lashley spears Hardy in half. The Hurt Lock finishes Hardy at 13:13.
Rating: B-. I got into this one and they did a good job of making me want to see Riddle vs. Lashley. There’s something awesome about Riddle going serious and turning into the machine but you have to build Lashley up as well. A win over someone of Hardy’s caliber is going to do just that and it was another good match on the way there.
Ramblin Rabbit knocks on Randy Orton’s door, saying Bray can’t wait to see him.
Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray shoves him around to start and they head outside with Orton being dropped onto the announcers’ table. Bray grabs a headset and says yowie wowie we’ll be right back to send us to a break. Back with Bray in trouble and Orton chokes away in the corner. The stomping sets up the chinlock but Bray fights up and goes Pat Patterson with an atomic drop.
Bray’s crossbody sets up an implant DDT for two but Orton reverses Sister Abigail into the backbreaker. A quick trip to the floor doesn’t work for either of them so Orton pokes him in the eye back inside. The hanging DDT connects but then the lights start going out. The RKO connects on Bray but the lights go out….and Orton is covering the Fiend. It’s the Mandible Claw to put Orton down to end the show as we’ll say the match was a no contest at 11:45.
Rating: C. This wasn’t much to see but the ending was a good way to go. The Fiend running through Orton at the pay per view could be interesting if that’s the way they go, but it doesn’t hurt anything if Orton gets the better of Wyatt. It isn’t like Bray got pinned or anything so this was just a way to get to the ending, which worked out fine.
Overall Rating: C-. This show had one of the worst feelings you can have from Raw: it felt like a three hour show. They did move a few things forward and the Raw half of TLC does look pretty good (not entirely, but more good than bad) but Miz and Morrison and the Lana stuff are really dragging it down. It feels like those people are dragging down the good stuff because they have to be there and that’s not a great thing to have taking place. Overall the show wasn’t the worst, but it REALLY would have been better off at two hours instead of three.
Results
Asuka b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
Ricochet/Dana Brooke b. Slapjack/Reckoning – Samoan driver to Reckoning
Kofi Kingston b. Shelton Benjamin – Trouble in Paradise
Cedric Alexander b. Kofi Kingston – Lumbar Check
AJ Styles/Miz/John Morrison b. Sheamus/Drew McIntyre – Phenomenal Forearm to Sheamus
Bobby Lashley b. Jeff Hardy – Hurt Lock
Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt went to a no contest
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: July 3, 2006
Location: Wachovia Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,993
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Then Rob Van Dam and Sabu got pulled over and the police found a bunch of drugs, meaning they had to be punished. This is quite the problem when you’re the WWE Champion and have a title defense coming up in a few weeks. Tonight will probably deal with the fallout so let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
We open with a recap of last week’s DX’s parody and their most recent humiliation of the McMahons.
DX arrives in the parking lot and is greeted by Jonathan Coachman and a bunch of security guards. Vince McMahon has barred them from appearing on the show tonight and Shawn Michaels wants to know what they’re supposed to do tonight. HHH has an idea and the team walks away. I have a bad feeling about this.
Opening sequence.
Here are Edge and Lita for an opening chat. Edge promises that he is going to own the summer and tomorrow night, he is getting his shot against Rob Van Dam. Then it’s on to Saturday Night’s Main Event where he will defend against Van Dam and John Cena. Those two are like the Philadelphia Phillies and the Philadelphia Eagles, with various insults ensuing. For tonight though, Lita is going to show Torrie Wilson what a cover girl is supposed to look like and Edge is in a triple threat tag team match.
Edge is about to announce his partner but here’s Cena to beat him up. Cue Van Dam, who has heard about how close he was to tapping out. He’s a fighting champion, so Cena can have a title shot tonight. Edge says that’s not fair because he would lose his title shot tomorrow night if Cena wins. That’s cool with Van Dam, so let’s do Saturday Night’s Main Event tonight with a triple threat title match. Edge promises that the next WWE Champion will be Rated R, but Van Dam says the next champion will be Rated RVD. Maybe he does need the suspension to clear his head a bit.
Vince McMahon arrives in the back with Coach greeting him. DX is indeed gone, much to Vince’s approval. The two of them walk inside….and DX drives up in a convertible with women in the back. Where did they get the car?
Batista is back this Friday.
Lita vs. Torrie Wilson
Lita suplexes her down for two to start and gets the same off a Russian legsweep. A knee to the back lets Lita mock her a bit so Torrie slaps her in the face. The comeback is on with some clotheslines but the referee takes the Stink Face by mistake. Lita DDTs her to end the annoyance.
Vince yells at Coach about making sure DX is gone. It feels like a ghost town around here and Vince wants to know what is going on.
Spirit Squad vs. Eugene/Jim Duggan/Viscera/Val Venis/Gene Snitsky
What a horrible assortment of losers, but at least they have the matching cheerleader uniforms. Nicky and Venis start things off and some cheap shots from the apron have Val in early trouble. A suplex allows Venis to make the tag off to Eugene but Johnny comes in off the blind tag to kick him down.
It’s off to Kenny for a jumping back elbow and Mitch comes in for the cover. The rotating beatdown ensues until Kenny misses a splash in the corner. The hot tag brings in Snitsky to clean house as everything breaks down. Duggan gets a rather strong reaction but is sent outside in a hurry. A top rope legdrop/Swanton combination finishes Snitsky.
Rating: D. There’s only so much you can get out of this but it’s the kind of thing that the Squad needed after so many bad losses. The menagerie of numskulls getting to lose to the Squad doesn’t have anything else going on so this wasn’t quite the devastating defeat. It’s going to give the Squad a bit of a push to their next loss to DX though so this is as good as it’s going to get for them at the moment.
We go back to the parking lot where DX is having a 4th of July bash with Shawn working the grill and the women nearby. We get various hot dog jokes about McMahon and DX, but HHH sees Mr. Fuji over there. Shawn: “I LOVE MR. FUJI!” Shawn goes over to see him so HHH has some women come up and flash a WWE bus driver (with the camera not doing the best job of covering things up as the girls walk off). Shawn comes back and is disappointed by the lack of Mr. Fuji. As for the Spirit Squad, they can come out here and take their beating whenever they like.
Highlanders vs. Rob Conway/Matt Striker
Rory headbutts Striker down to start and hammers away in the corner, complete with putting his kilt over Striker’s face. Robbie come in for a Junkyard Dog style headbutt to Conway, who has to suplex his way to freedom. Striker is good without coming back in though, leaving Conway to take the Scot Drop (double fireman’s carry into a faceplant) for the pin. Short and inoffensive as a way to get the team’s feet wet.
Candice Michelle comes up to HHH as Shawn is off in the TV production truck. HHH seems to have some issues standing and then Candice has the same problem. Various issues ensue, complete with Candice shouting YES over and over. They both seem rather relieved and two women pop up from underneath the table. That’s rather risque for this era.
Post break, Shawn tells HHH to come into the control truck, with Candice and the other two girls going with them. There are cameras all over the arena and after having the women get to know one of the production guys over there, Shawn sits down and starts pushing buttons. The feed goes out but they’re still on the air.
Vince goes to the restroom and of course there is a camera in there, which of course WWE has access to. Vince gives commentary (Andre the Giant is mentioned) but Coach comes in to say that Vince is on camera (with Coach’s leg being moistened), freaking the boss out.
Post break here is Vince in the ring to talk about how humiliating last week is. DX is out there in the parking lot with their barbecue but now they are humiliating him and that’s too much. The mic cuts out and we get some noises, as Vince isn’t happy again.
Vince’s voice is suddenly very high pitched before going to the other direction, with Vince saying he sounds like Darth Vader. Then we get a picture of a rooster drawn on screen, with a word balloon saying “I LOVE COCKS”. HHH’s voice comes over the loud speaker and he says DX can humiliate him even further….so we see last week’s human waste drop again. Vince tells Coach to go deal with this so we see Shawn knocking Coach down with the door of the production truck.
The livid Vince makes DX vs. the Spirit Squad in an elimination tag. That sounds like a very bad idea and the laughter sound effects seem to agree. Then we get crickets instead of Vince’s music, which starts up a few seconds later….and is soon replaced by Stand Back. As funny as this kind of thing is going to get and was a long way around to set up a match that sounds like it should be a Raw main event.
Intercontinental Title: Johnny Nitro vs. Carlito
Nitro is defending and we get some extensive replays of Melina’s entrance. Carlito is taken into the corner to start and Nitro claims a poke to the eye before getting in a cheap shot. The dancing legdrop sets up the chinlock as Lawler talks about Melina’s maracas. Carlito fights up without much trouble with a clothesline and the springboard back elbow. The Backstabber connects but Melina comes in for the DQ.
Post match here’s Trish to start the catfight with Carlito standing back and watching. More replays, this time of Trish running to the ring and the brawl, ensue.
Paul Heyman isn’t sure about Rob Van Dam doing this but Van Dam believes in himself and ECW. Van Dam leaves and Heyman gives him that Brock Lesnar/Big Show Survivor Series 2002 look.
We meet the Diva Search finalists, including Maryse, Layla, Milena (Rosa Mendes) and various others.
Vince doesn’t care about Coach being banged up because he’s leaving and wants Coach to get the limo ready.
Umaga vs. Scott Wright
DX interrupts Armando Alejandro Estrada’s promo with a merchandise plug. Umaga would be a better enforcer for Vince than the Spirit Squad. The Samoan Spike finishes Wright in a little over a minute.
Post match, DX interrupts Estrada’s promo again, this time with various sound effects.
Vince gets in the limo….and a bunch of fireworks go off from it, complete with green smoke. After the driver pulls Vince, covered in smoke and green paint, DX pops up with American flags and sparklers. Happy Fourth of July.
This Week In Wrestling: the NWO debuts.
Here’s Randy Orton for a chat. He was inspired by the NWO video, but not as excited as he was by Brooke Hogan’s music video last week. That would be Hulk Hogan’s 18 year old daughter mind you. Hulk is going to pick Brooke’s date on an upcoming episode of Hogan Knows Best, and if Orton gets to be the pick, he’ll show Brooke why he’s a legend. Oh dear.
Edge says he’s going to win a title, unlike Philadelphia.
Raw World Title: Edge vs. John Cena vs. Rob Van Dam
Van Dam is defending and Edge gets double teamed in the corner to start. Rob and Cena start taking turns, with Van Dam hitting a running spinwheel kick in the corner. Edge gets tossed outside and we take an early break. Back with Edge breaking up Van Dam’s superplex attempt on Cena, who crashes out to the floor. The cartwheel moonsault gives Van Dam two on Edge but Cena pulls Edge outside for a whip into the steps. Rob is right there with a dive onto Cena but Edge is back in to break up the FU on Van Dam.
Cena loads up Edge in a suplex until Van Dam takes both of them down. A double clothesline puts all three down and it’s a three way slugout from their knees. Rob is sent outside and Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Edge. The FU puts Edge on the floor so Lita brings in a chair, earning herself an FU of her own. Van Dam is back in with the Van Daminator to Cena but the Five Star misses. There’s the FU to Van Dam but Edge is in with a belt shot to Cena for the pin on Van Dam and the title.
Rating: B. They kept things moving here and the match was better than I would have bet on as a result. Above all else they weren’t out there too long with the match only running about eleven minutes. Edge winning is quite the big moment and it’s the first time the title has changed hands on Raw since 2001. Good match here, as Van Dam’s main event push loses a leg in a single night.
Cut to a STUNNED Cena fan for a great visual as Edge celebrates (with Lita still down) to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Aside from the main event, which I liked quite a bit, this was a one note show with the entire night being about DX vs. Vince. That doesn’t exactly make for the best night, though there were at least some funny jokes. It isn’t a good feud because DX feels like they’re toying with Vince and the Spirit Squad, but it hasn’t gone on long enough to completely overstay its welcome. This week used up a lot of that mileage though, as this was a pretty rough show.
As for the title change, I’m not sure how much longer Van Dam was going to be champion anyway, as his title reign seemed to be little more than a way to warm up the debuting ECW. I can’t imagine him making it all the way to Summerslam as champion so there is a good chance that the title change would have gone the same way at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Either way, Van Dam looks like a moron for screwing up the biggest push of his career and it’s pretty hard to feel sorry for him.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 30, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe
We are on the way to TLC and also on the way to new Thunder Dome at Tropicana Field in the next few weeks. That could make for some interesting changes along the way, though the biggest surprise is that last week’s show was actually good. I’m not sure how much reason I should have to believe that is going to repeat itself but maybe we’re in for a holiday miracle. Let’s get to it.
Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Alexa Bliss for A Moment Of Bliss with Randy Orton. After a clip of last week when the Fiend interfered and cost Orton his match against AJ Styles, Orton talks about how well he knows Bray Wyatt. He hasn’t met the Fiend yet, but he understands that Fiend wears his pain and suffering on his exterior. Orton on the other hand keeps all of his pain and suffering inside. They both hear voices too, but the Fiend’s voices are Orton’s. Bliss: “Well that’s not what he told me.”
Orton thinks he has gotten inside of Fiend’s head, which Bliss thinks is what the voices have told him. Or are they telling Orton lies? Who is manipulating who? The lights go half off and Orton asks if Bliss sees what he means. More of them go off and Bliss asks Orton the same thing. The lights come back up and Bliss has jumped into Orton’s arms as Fiend pops up. Orton hands Bliss to him (as Fiend seemed to be begging for her) and bails, before asking who is laughing now.
Commentary throws us to a package on Jeff Hardy vs. Elias as I wonder what they’re watching Fiend do at the moment. We actually see a clip of Hardy attacking Elias on Main Event, which is probably the first reference to the show on Raw in the last three years minimum.
We look back at Drew McIntyre eliminating Brock Lesnar from the Royal Rumble.
We recap Elias vs. Jeff Hardy. Elias accuses Hardy of running him over with a car earlier this year to put him out of action for several months. Various guitar shots have ensued so now it’s a Symphony of Destruction match, meaning hardcore with musical weapons provided.
Jeff Hardy vs. Elias
Symphony of Destruction with Hardy slugging away to start. They head outside with Elias’ jumping knee blocking a violin shot. Hardy drops him face first onto the apron and then sends him face first into a piano. Hold on though as the piano starts moving, revealing R-Truth inside. Cue the band of misfits to give chase, though Hardy and Elias pick some of them off for interrupting. They break guitars over Drew Gulak and Lince Dorado as we take a break.
Back with Elias loading guitar picks on his hand to punch Hardy in the head over and over. Joe: “He’s picking Hardy’s mind!” They go outside with Hardy being sent into the drums, only to send Elias right back into them. Back in and Elias cuts off a guitar shot but Hardy gets in a hurricanrana.
Elias gets in the guitar shot for two, as Hardy grabs the ropes (in a falls count anywhere match). They head back outside with Elias picking up part of the broken guitar and stabbing the speaker to electrocute himself (I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it was because of the guitar strings). Jeff gets in a cello shot to the back and hits a swanton through a table for the pin at 12:24.
Rating: C-. Electrical and rope break issues aside, this wasn’t quite as epic as they seemed to be hoping for. Above all else, the musical weapons made it feel more like a joke than anything else, thereby defeating a lot of the point. Throw in the 24/7 cameos and it wasn’t quite the most thrilling idea.
Hardy even gets a tambourine as a prize.
Riddle comes up to Keith Lee to talk about how cool it will be if one of them gets the title shot. He’s always wanted to hear Drew McIntyre talk alike he’s Fat B****** from Austin Powers and yes we get an impression. Lee vanishes in the meantime, probably falling into the void of the 18 years since that character was introduced.
New Day wants you to buy Cyber Monday merchandise.
We look back at three weeks ago when Mustafa Ali beat Ricochet thanks to a Retribution distraction.
Ali talks about Ricochet pushing the same boulder up the same mountain week after week. Ricochet has been lied to just like them so why isn’t he next to them? Slapjack says Ali has shown him the way and saw him for what he really is: a weapon for Retribution. Tonight, maybe Ricochet will see what Ali sees.
Slapjack vs. Ricochet
Ali is ringside. Ricochet uppercuts him into the corner and fires off a forearm, only to glare down at Ali. That’s enough for Slapjack to pull Ricochet out of the corner for two but Ricochet is right back with a dropkick. The standing shooting star press gives Ricochet two but here are Mace and T-Bar, who are dropped by Ricochet’s big running flip dive.
Back in and Ali shouts instructions to Slapjack as Dana Brooke comes out to slap Ali in the face. She yells about Reckoning attacking her as Ricochet kicks Slapjack in the face. Ricochet takes out the monsters again but gets caught in a swinging belly to back suplex for the pin at 3:30.
Rating: C. They were cranking up the action here, though there was a bit too much going on at once. That being said, it was nice to see Retribution keeping up the momentum as you kind of expect WWE to have them lose every chance they can. The match was the usual good enough stuff, though the idea of Retribution adding Ricochet is a little more intriguing.
Commentary IMMEDIATELY sends us to a look at Drew McIntyre defeating Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania.
And now, MizTV because we haven’t had a freaking talk show in an hour. After the usual Miz and Mrs. plug, Sheamus is brought out as this week’s guest. Sheamus wants to get this over with because they already have a match tonight. Miz and Morrison bring up Sheamus returning the McIntyre family chest a few weeks ago and ask why McIntyre forgot about Sheamus. That’s not cool with Sheamus, so Miz brings up how friends are supposed to act.
See, when Miz wins the title, Morrison gets the first title shot because that’s what friends do. So tonight, how about Sheamus turns on McIntyre and Miz gets the title? Sheamus laughs it off so Miz gets serious by bringing up Sheamus being WWE Champion five years ago. Now his career is a joke. That makes Sheamus take off his jacket and the beatdown is on. Miz and Morrison are taken out until Miz gets in a briefcase shot to leave Sheamus laying. I could go with not seeing a talk show again for a good eight months.
We look back at Lana saving Asuka from Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler last week.
Asuka and Lana fire each other up.
Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler bicker about last week’s loss.
Asuka/Lana vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax
Non-title. Baszler grabs Lana in a waistlock to start but Lana reverses into a quick rollup. It’s off to Asuka as Lana holds the ropes open, which Nia clearly sees, charges at anyway, and then dives through the ropes to the floor. That was one of the most fake looking spots I’ve seen in a very long time. Lana and Asuka hit stereo suicide dives and we take a break. Back with Nia throwing Lana around without much effort whatsoever.
Shayna gets to work on the leg a bit before handing it back to Jax in a hurry. They head outside with Lana managing to post her, allowing the hot tag to Asuka. House is cleaned until Shayna and Asuka trade kicks to the head. Lana tags herself in and hits a high crossbody on Shayna, who pulls her into the Kirifuda Clutch. Asuka breaks that up with a sliding knee and Lana pins Baszler at 9:28.
Rating: D. This story is getting more and more grating every week as the Lana push goes down our throats harder and harder. Lana isn’t particularly good at anything and Jax is only slightly less worse, but we’re supposed to want to cheer for Lana because….and that’s where the story falls apart because there is still no reason to cheer for Lana. Yeah Nia is annoying and mean, but Lana is really bad at this wrestling thing and is only winning because of Asuka. Lana beating Jax or Baszler off a fluke doesn’t make her look like a hero. It makes her look like James Ellsworth in better gear.
Sheamus is banged up when Drew McIntyre comes in to say that looked fun. Sheamus isn’t sure why Drew didn’t come out there for the save but now it’s time to beat up those Muppets. Hey now. Sheamus is a Muppet so don’t tell him to beat up his family so close to the holidays.
Here’s New Day for a match but first, Kofi Kingston talks about how cool it is for Xavier Woods to be a host on the relaunched G4. Woods talks about how important video games are to him and thanks anyone who has ever supported him in any way. In a preview of his hosting gig, Woods recaps New Day beating the Hurt Business a few times, but here’s the Hurt Business with a rebuttal, because these teams can’t have a match without a five minute discussion first. MVP says they’re 2-2 against each other and Cedric Alexander says G4 better be a dream job because he’s about to end Woods’ wrestling career.
Cedric Alexander vs. Xavier Woods
Alexander jumps him before the bell and we take a break. We’re joined in progress with Alexander hammering away and driving in elbows to the back. Woods fights back to limited avail but manages to drop Alexander with a few shots to the face. The Honor Roll gets two on Alexander, who is back with a brainbuster for the same. Woods gets knocked outside but he counters a suicide dive by whipping Alexander hard into the barricade. Back in and Alexander quickly hits the Lumbar Check for the pin at 3:26.
Rating: C. I really could go for getting rid of WWE’s booking technique of having title matches where the champions retain and then continuing the feud anyway. New Day beat Hurt Business twice in three matches and yet we are still probably going to see a fourth match between them at the pay per view. Kind of like the Women’s Tag Team Title match, because WWE really does do these things more than once on the same show.
Alexander goes off celebrating without the Hurt Business for some reason.
Riddle annoys AJ Styles by calling him Skipper. Omos: “Skipper is his rabbit.” AJ wants to know why Omos knows that and why Riddle didn’t name his rabbit Hoppy. That’s Riddle’s turtle’s name but AJ is more like a rabbit anyway: good hops, soft and furry. AJ shoves Riddle and says tonight is serious.
We recap the opening sequence.
Keith Lee vs. Riddle vs. AJ Styles
The winner gets McIntyre at TLC for the title shot. AJ and Riddle are sent outside so Lee teases the big dive, sending the other two scattering in advance. Since Lee isn’t Nia Jax, he stops when he sees his target gone and the leapfrogs both of them back inside. A running crossbody gets two on Riddle and AJ is sent into Riddle in the corner. With AJ down on the floor, Lee stands on Riddle’s hand but AJ is back up to knock Lee outside. Riddle dropkicks AJ down to join him and then hits a springboard dive onto the two of them.
Back from a break with Riddle hitting a series of Brotons on Lee for one but the Floating bro misses AJ. It’s Lee’s turn to clean house again, this time throwing Riddle around with ease. Riddle slips out of the Spirit Bomb though and grabs a triangle, only to be swung into AJ while pulling on Lee’s arm.
Lee breaks it up and Riddle kicks him in the head, setting up the running forearms in the corner. A Pounce sends Riddle flying so it’s AJ finally getting to hammer on Lee. AJ gets caught on top so Riddle pulls Lee off, only have AJ hit a high crossbody for two on Riddle. Some jumping knees put Lee on the floor but it’s AJ hitting the Phenomenal Forearm to pin Riddle for the title shot at 13:59.
Rating: B-. It felt like a lot of triple threats we’ve seen before but the action was good and they went with the safe and acceptable ending. Riddle isn’t ready for the spot and Lee REALLY doesn’t need another big loss. That leaves you with AJ, who can take loss after loss and still be just fine so they went with the right call here after a good match.
Miz and Morrison are ready for the tag match.
Dana Brooke vs. Reckoning
Before the match, we get a quick promo from Mustafa Ali and Reckoning talking about how Brooke is going to be punished for putting her hands on Ali. Reckoning jumps her to start and hits a few shots in the corner. We’re already in the chinlock but Brooke fights up and makes the comeback. Ali gets on the apron but has to drop out of the way of the threat of r a right hand. Reckoning misses a kick to Brooke and gets rolled up for the pin at 2:24.
Post match, Ali yells at Reckoning because there is no losing around here.
Miz and Morrison (geez) come up to AJ and Omos in the back and offer him a peach pie for help against McIntyre tonight. AJ agrees, only because it would be easier to beat Miz to get the title. They’ll see AJ out there, but he does tell them to lave the pie.
MVP comes up to Riddle, who has a new idea: the Weed Bros Gardening Service. They’ll come over and get rid of all your weeds in a flash. MVP says Riddle’s ideas are stupid and shoves him away, meaning it’s time for a fight. Bobby Lashley runs in to jump Riddle and the Hurt Lock goes on.
Keith Lee comes up to Sheamus in the back and asks if he plans on turning on Drew McIntyre tonight. Sheamus says it’s none of his business.
Here’s McIntyre for a chat before the main event. He talks about doing everything he promised to do and says you can tell a lot about a man by looking into his eyes. He had Roman Reigns in trouble at Survivor Series but then Jey Uso had to get involved. Their paths will cross again and next time, he is taking Roman down. You can believe that. As for TLC, McIntyre is coming for AJ and retaining the title.
Miz/John Morrison vs. Sheamus/Drew McIntyre
AJ Styles is on commentary. Sheamus throws Morrison around to start and then gives him a rather large boot to the chest. McIntyre come in to run Morrison over and it’s ten forearms each to Miz and Morrison’s chests. Sheamus shouts at AJ to come get in here and goes outside to get in his face. Miz’s cheap shot doesn’t work but an Omos distraction lets Morrison hit a dropkick through the ropes.
We take a break and come back with Miz driving knees into Sheamus’ back and ripping at his face. Morrison comes in to knee Sheamus down in the corner and we hit the chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry with the hot tag bringing in McIntyre to clean house. AJ does not exactly approve as McIntyre snaps off belly to belly suplexes and then nips up. The Claymore is loaded up but AJ comes in with the Phenomenal Forearm to McIntyre for the DQ at 9:50.
Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was all about waiting around for the ending and then whatever they have planned for after the match. Miz and Morrison are a good tag team but both they and Miz’s briefcase are props in other feuds. Sheamus and McIntyre work well together, though I could go for a one off title match between them down the road.
Post match AJ has Miz and Morrison hit a bunch of finishers on McIntyre (I must have misses Sheamus being taken out) but Miz argues with Styles over bossing him around. McIntyre fights up and takes care of Miz and Morrison, leaving AJ to need Omos to get him out of trouble. Omos carries AJ away to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This was not a horrible show but it certainly was a boring one. They did their thing of having the same matches that they have had before to set up another version of the same match, leaving fans to need to watch the same match they have already seen, only this time on pay per view. There were good things on the show though, with AJ vs. McIntyre being a good setup, Retribution only lost one of their matches, and Orton vs. Fiend is intriguing. They have some good ideas and goals, but they need to find a way to get there go well. Fix that and things will get better, because this didn’t quite work.
Results
Jeff Hardy b. Elias – Swanton through a table
Slapjack b. Ricochet – Swinging belly to back suplex
Lana/Asuka b. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax – Sliding knee to Baszler
Cedric Alexander b. Xavier Woods – Lumbar Check
AJ Styles b. Riddle and Keith Lee – Phenomenal Forearm to Riddle
Dana Brooke b. Reckoning – Rollup
Sheamus/Drew McIntyre b. Miz/John Morrison via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: June 26, 2006
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the night after Vengeance and a grand total of pretty much nothing happened on the show. Other than Johnny Nitro winning the Intercontinental Title, it was one of the least important shows that WWE has put on in a very long time. We do have something important tonight though, as John Cena gets his rematch against Rob Van Dam for the WWE Title. Let’s get to it.
Here is Vengeance if you need a recap.
Opening sequence.
JR and King run down the card.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James
Trish is challenging in her first match since Backlash when she badly injured her shoulder. Mickie goes right for the shoulder to start but Trish is out in a hurry. The threat of a hammerlock is countered into some right hands to the head and a spinebuster gives Trish two. A hurricanrana gives Trish two but Mickie kicks her in the face. The MickieDT retains the title in a hurry. Mickie spent almost as much time adjusting her top as she did fighting.
Post match here are Johnny Nitro and Melina, with Lawler being VERY glad to see Melina. Mickie leaves and Melina gives some insincere praise for the comeback match. Nitro is the only man holding singles gold on Raw and Trish is looking at the new top Diva in WWE. Trish goes after her but Nitro grabs Trish, drawing out Carlito for the save.
Post break, Carlito is ranting about Nitro when Trish comes up to thank him. Carlito rants in Spanish, which Trish agrees with in the form of “right, right.” Anyway she thanks him again and, in regards to the question on his short (spit or swallow), she whispers something in his ear, which he enthusiastically declares cool. Lawler is rather pleased by that result.
We look at DX tormenting Vince McMahon last week.
The Spirit Squad is ranting to Vince and Shane McMahon, but the latter tells them to watch tonight as the McMahons take care of DX.
We get some fan picks for Cena vs. Van Dam tonight.
Umaga vs. Kamala
This was set up after Umaga beat Eugene and had a staredown with Umaga. Armando Alejandro Estrada and Kim Chee are here too. Kamala chops away to start but gets knocked down, setting up the running hip attack in the corner to crush Kim Cheer for a bonus. The middle rope headbutt sets up the Samoan Spike to end the complete squash.
We go to the Diva Search casting special, featuring the Miz as emcee and Ashley Massaro as the big speaker. The Divas dance a lot and we see Brooke Adams, Layla El, Rosa Mendes and Maryse, none of whom are named. The finalists are out here tonight.
Here’s Torrie Wilson to unveil the summer Divas magazine. Believe it or not, the cover to the swimsuit magazine with Torrie Wilson is Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit. Cue Edge and Lita to interrupt and throw Torrie out in a hurry. Edge says he should be the star of the show and on the cover of magazines (the swimsuit may be implied). He should be the star around here and the fact that Rob Van Dam is defending against John Cena tonight is a joke.
If Edge doesn’t get a rematch, they’re leaving Raw. The fans think they suck so Edge and Lita leave through the crowd. Hold on though as they do stop by the merchandise stand where Edge takes his shirt (which should be in the center). They’re out the door, shirts in hand.
Here’s a banged up John Cena to talk about how One Night Stand wasn’t his finest hour. He could just storm through off with shirts under his arm or he could fight and earn a rematch. Tonight, he takes care of business.
Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch vs. Viscera/Val Venis
It’s the return of Cade/Murdoch, who were a decent team while they originally lasted. Cade hammers Venis down to start but Venis gets in a right hand to the face. It’s off to Murdoch via a hot tag and an atomic drop into a big boot has Venis down again. Cue Charlie Haas to talk to Lilian Garcia and that’s not cool with Viscera. The hot tag brings in Viscera and house is cleaned in a hurry but Charlie kisses Lilian, allowing Cade and Murdoch to finish with a High/Low (which we only see on the replay).
Rating: D. The match was just there for the sake of the angle, as you might be trying to find out why Viscera, Lilian Garcia and Charlie Haas are getting a story. Points enough for trying something out of an accident if nothing else, though I’m not sure how many miles they can get out of something like this.
We see Brooke Hogan’s music video for About Us.
Randy Orton liked what he saw in said video.
Shane McMahon is so excites for the match against DX that he hits some furniture with a baseball bat.
Here’s HHH, as Vince McMahon, for a chat. HHH says he’s going to come out here and ramble incoherently before DX takes him the McMahons tonight. It will be more embarrassing than having his pants taken down, than losing to Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, or even than the XFL (that gets a gasp). Last week, DX sent him a rooster, suggesting that he loves cocks. In reality, he loves great men like Dick Ebersol, Dick Chaney and Dick Clark. He loves them of any size, shape and color. HHH: “I’ll even do an Asian!”
Cue Shane McMahon, as played by Shawn Michaels, meaning it’s a lot of dancing as HHH does the Vince ear pull. Shawn says he is the product of Vince’s semen. He even has it on his business card. He brings up Vince’s eventual death, which sets off another round of dancing. HHH: “Son, are you mildly retarded?” HHH says Shane must be mistaken because Stephanie is getting all of Vince’s money. HHH: “Stephanie and that guy who knocked her up.”
After hearing about what a stud that guy must be, Shawn talks about how he just needs one more shot and he’s so excited that he has to dance. HHH yells in his face to stop, sending Shawn straight down. Actually dancing doesn’t sound like a bad idea, so hit that STAND BACK. This goes on for a long time but the Hulk Hogan bass solo is enough to bring out the real Vince and Shane.
Cue the Spirit Squad to join the McMahons for the beatdown, but never mind because DX drops a bunch of human waste on them (apparently it smells bad). HHH: “Don’t worry: because of Shawn, it’s holy s***.” JR: “It’s indescribable what DX has done to the McMahons!” You mean when they imitated them and then dropped fake human waste on them? The parody was funny for a bit but went on too long. Then the other stuff…..just wasn’t, as always.
We look at Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair from Vengeance, with Flair being left beaten and bloody.
Flair, from is home in Charlotte, says that everything Foley did last night was proof that everything Flair wrote about him was true. Vengeance is sworn and Flair was all fired up here.
Paul Heyman talks to Rob Van Dam because he’s worried about the title match against Cena. Tonight it’s under WWE rules in a WWE ring with a WWE referee. Rob says it’s cool and he’s got this.
More fans give their Cena vs. Van Dam picks.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
Kane powers him into the corner to start but Orton gets in a shot to the face and two off a dropkick. A big boot and running clothesline in the corner rock Orton, setting up the top rope clothesline. Kane loads up the chokeslam but here’s Costume Kane, who Kane jumps in the aisle and knocks down. The distraction lets Orton hit the RKO for the pin.
Rating: D+. Just a quick match that was more about the angle than anything else. Orton continues to be on a roll but there is only so much you can do with Kane vs. a fake Kane. The pay per view match wasn’t good in the first place so keeping the thing going doesn’t exactly sound great. Though at least it isn’t more See No Evil.
Post match Kane is back up and chokeslams Costume Kane twice in the ring and one more time on the stage. Kane drags him to the back and then to the back. Post break, Kane unmasks him (showing the bald head of Luke Gallows, though we don’t see the face) and throws him outside. If I remember right, the original plan was to say that Costume Kane was the real version and the one we had seen was a fake, but thankfully they realized that would have been even dumber than what we got so take the small wins where you can.
We see the Tough Enough finalists being selected (including a quick look at the Bella Twins). Brooke Adams is cut but Maryse makes it (there’s something awesome about Miz meeting his future wife being shown like this).
We look at Rob Van Dam winning the WWE Title from John Cena at One Night Stand under less than fair circumstances.
The Highlanders use a public restroom. Hilarity ensues and they debut next week.
Raw World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena
Cena is challenging and slugs away to start. Rob gets in a kick and heads up top, only to be shoved down hard in a crash as we take a break. Back with Rob fighting out of a chinlock and starting the slugout. That goes to Cena as well but this time Rob kicks him off the top instead. There’s the flip to the floor to drop Cena again and Rob hits a legdrop for two back inside. It’s time for a chair but Cena scores with the hard clothesline into the running shoulders.
The ProtoBomb into the Five Knuckle Shuffle looks to set up the FU but Rob slips out and hits a kick to the head. They slug it out again with Rob hitting another kick to the face, setting up a German suplex for two on Cena. The split legged moonsault gets the same and there’s the top rope kick to the face. Cena rolls away before the Five Star can launch and then gets his knees up to block Rolling Thunder. The FU sets up the STFU but Edge runs in for the DQ.
Rating: C+. They did what they could here and Cena was showing the fire that made him feel like a bigger star. The ending was a good way out if they weren’t going to change the title, but it didn’t exactly help Van Dam look like a star. Then again, just being champion doesn’t make Van Dam a bigger star than Cena and being beaten until Edge comes in is hardly some death sentence.
Post match Edge says he’ll see Van Dam tomorrow and leaves through the crowd.
Overall Rating: C. This was good enough but there are some things that aren’t exactly making me look forward to the future. Above all else, there is the Diva Search, which is going to be around for the next two months and bring the show to a grinding halt. I guess they need new models though. Other than that, Cena was showing fire and they are starting to plant seeds for Summerslam, but some of these things are not exactly making me interested in seeing where things are going. Not terrible, but the future isn’t looking bright.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:
Monday Night Raw
Date: November 23, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe
We’re finally done with Survivor Series and that means it’s time to head towards Tables, Ladders And Chairs in about four weeks (and also in the new Thunder Dome at Tropicana Field). Tonight is probably going to be about fallout, though I’m not sure what that is going to entail from last night. Let’s get to it.
Here is Survivor Series if you need a recap.
We open with a recap of last week’s title change with Drew McIntyre regaining the WWE Title from Randy Orton.
Opening sequence.
Adam Pearce and Team Raw is in the ring to start. Pearce recaps last night’s results and thinks that the five of them deserve to be rewarded for their victory last night. Since AJ Styles was the captain last night (and he has a C on his vest this week), he should go first, but Sheamus says AJ isn’t his captain. Sheamus congratulates Drew for winning the title and says he was the MVP of last night’s match….but AJ cuts him off as well. Bickering ensues until Keith Lee says he should get the shot.
Riddle says that last night was sweet and since he beat King Corbin, he should be King Bro. Riddle: “Do I get a crown???” Then he can beat McIntyre and get the dope sword to go with his dope crown. Sheamus calls him dopey and Riddle says Sheamus can hold the crown and sword. Riddle brings up the Fire Face nickname and we get another round of bickering over the team’s nicknames.
Pearce goes to Strowman for the last word, but Strowman freaks out over being called “last but not least”. Pearce: “It’s a common expression!” Strowman grabs him by the suit and headbutts him down, sending the rest of the team into a frenzy as we take a break. This was a bunch of people arguing about things that no adults would ever actually argue about.
Earlier today, the Hurt Business trash talked their way into a Tag Team Title shot, with Cedric Alexander getting under Xavier Woods’ skin.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Hurt Business
Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin are challenging for the Hurt Business. MVP demands controlled fury from Shelton as he starts with Woods. Shelton powers him down to start and gets two off a suplex. A jumping knee puts Kofi on the floor and we take a break. Back with Woods fighting out of a chinlock and making the hot tag to Kofi for the house cleaning. Shelton catches Kofi on top but Kofi shoves him away, allowing Alexander to get in an armdrag to the floor. Kofi can’t get back in and that’s a double countout at 7:58. Actually we’ll make that a regular countout win for the Hurt Business.
Hang on though as MVP says that’s not how it’s going because they don’t want that kind of a win. New Day isn’t sure about a restart but MVP shouting ARE YOU SCARED is enough to get them back in the ring. Back from a break and the bell rings (because they needed to stand around for four minutes) with Kofi and Shelton slugging it out. A big backdrop puts Kofi on the floor and he seems to be favoring his knee.
Back in and Alexander hammers away at the ribs before tying up the legs, thereby restoring my faith in his intelligence. Alexander goes old school with an Indian deathlock and then switches to a different leg crank. Kofi fights up and hits SOS but it’s still too early for the hot tag. Instead Alexander pulls him back down into another leglock, only to have Kofi slip out and limp over for the hot tag to Woods. A kick to the face drops Alexander but it’s back to Benjamin who gets two off an Angle Slam. Everything breaks down and Kofi flips onto Alexander, leaving Woods to grab a sunset flip for the pin on 22:48.
Rating: C. Well that was a little odd. I would have bet on the title change after the restart but they might be doing that thing where a team loses over and over and then wins the titles anyway because wins and losses don’t matter around here. The action improved in the second half but it wasn’t going to hold a candle to last night’s Street Profits match.
Pearce has a bump on his head and Strowman has been escorted from the building. If it was up to him, Strowman would be fired but he doesn’t have control over those decisions. Before he can make an announcement about the WWE Title, Bobby Lashley comes up and says they need to have a talk first. Pearce likes the sound of that.
Post break and post Lashley conversation, Pearce….is interrupted by Randy Orton, who seems to want to talk as well.
We look at the Strowman/Pearce deal again.
We look back at Lana being the sole survivor last night.
Lana thinks this is a dream come true and never wants to wake up.
We go back to Pearce, who announces a series of matches to set up a triple threat match next week for the next shot at Drew McIntyre. The first match starts now.
Riddle vs. Sheamus
They talk trash to start and Riddle takes him down by the arm. Sheamus fights up and grabs an armbar of his own, which is broken up with some right hands to the face. A hard clothesline out of the corner drops Riddle again but he sends Sheamus outside with some more shots to the face. That’s enough to frustrate Sheamus, who comes back in with a shot to the face. Riddle slugs right back but gets taken to the mat for some arm cranking from Sheamus.
They head outside again with Sheamus getting caught in an exploder suplex and the Broton gets two back inside. Sheamus catches Riddle on the apron though and that means ten forearms to the chest. The Irish Curse gets two but Sheamus misses a charge into the post. Riddle kicks away at the chest but Sheamus is back with an Alabama Slam as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus hitting a pump knee for two, only to have Riddle knock him to the floor. The springboard Floating Bro drops Sheamus again but he catches Riddle’s high crossbody back inside. A spinning release Rock Bottom gets two and we hit the Cloverleaf to stay on Riddle’s back. The rope is grabbed so Sheamus tries another ten forearms to the chest.
This set is countered into an armbar over the ropes and Sheamus’ throat is snapped across the top as well. Sheamus is right back with a heel hook and they forearm it out on the mat with the hold still on. Riddle uses the good leg to kick his way to freedom and the knee is fine enough to hit the Final Flash for two more.
Sheamus catches him on top though and it’s a super White Noise for a rather near fall. The Brogue Kick misses, but it’s mainly due to Riddle collapsing. Riddle manages a headbutt and a kick to the head, setting up a victory roll, but Sheamus reverses into the Cloverleaf again. That’s reversed as well though and Riddle rolls him up for the pin at 20:50.
Rating: B. These guys beat the heck out of each other for a long time and it was cool to see them surviving everything that the other threw at them. It made for a great use of a long match and instead of starting to feel long, it was drawing me in more and more. Very good stuff here and well done on making Riddle seem like a bigger deal again.
Lana runs into Asuka, who congratulates her for last night. Asuka might even give Lana a title shot tonight!
It’s time for the Firefly Fun House with Bray Wyatt and Alexa Bliss talking about something disgusting: friendship. That introduces us to a frog with a monocle, who no one recognizes. He’s Friendship Frog, and Bray thinks Bliss should show him what she’s going to do to Nikki Cross tonight.
Bliss asks for some help and Bray touches her forehead and whispers in her ear. Bliss whips out a mace and beats the frog so badly that slime comes out of his mouth. Therefore, it’s time for a moment of silence for Friendship Frog, complete with videos of him growing up, his high school yearbook, and his appearance here. He was born in 1980. Bray and Bliss crack up.
Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Lana
Lana is challenging…and here are Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler. Lana rolls her up for an early near fall but gets kneed in the face. Asuka slides to the floor and gets in an argument with Jax and Shayna, who jump her for the DQ at 1:00.
Post match Lana saves Asuka from going through the announcers’ table. Nia wants the tag match and that seems to be after the break.
First though: R-Truth thinks you should buy WWE Shop stuff on Black Friday. As he pitches it, Drew Gulak hits him with a Money in the Bank briefcase and gets two……and here’s well someone in a Fiend mask to say Yowie Wowie. It’s Akira Tozawa, who takes a 24/7 pillow.
Asuka/Lana vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax
Non-title and joined in progress with Nia shoving Lana down and talking trash. That means the choking is on and Shayna comes in to work on Lana’s back. We hit the neck cranking for a bit before it’s back to Nia, who makes Lana beg for mercy. Lana slugs away to no avail and gets driven back into the corner.
Shayna stands on Lana’s head and pulls on her leg but Lana finally gets over for the hot tag to Asuka. House is cleaned in a hurry with a variety of kicks until Shayna gets in her own shot to the face for two. Nia pulls Lana off the apron and beats her up, only to miss a charge over the announcers’ table. Shayna grabs the Kirifuda Clutch through the ropes but gets rolled up by Asuka for the pin at 6:42.
Rating: D+. It’s nice that they’re finally getting somewhere with Lana fighting back against the bullies, but they have not found a way around the fact that Lana isn’t a likable character. She’s having bad things happen to her but that doesn’t mean I want to cheer her. Nia has gotten what’s coming to her so many times that it doesn’t mean anything either, but the bigger problem is Lana. Give me a reason to care about her, because otherwise it’s just Nia picking on someone who is rather annoying and bad at her job.
Riddle comes up to MVP, who isn’t impressed. Anyway, Riddle has some ideas for MVP’s business investments. Like pizza flavored yogurt. Or BRO-gurt. MVP cuts him off because Bobby Lashley doesn’t have time for this and no, he isn’t Riddle’s bro. He is willing to let Riddle pitch some ideas in a few weeks and maybe they’ll do some business. If not, maybe they’ll do some, ahem, BUSINESS.
We look back at Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre from last night.
Keith Lee vs. Bobby Lashley
Non-title and the winner goes on to the triple threat. Lashley’s headlock is countered into one from Lee and they fight over a top wristlock. That’s broken up as well so Lashley hits a running shoulder, earning himself a glare from Lashley. Lee hits the Grizzly Magnum in the corner but Lashley is back with a running clothesline. This time Lee growls at him but Lashley grabs the Downward Spiral for one.
The Hurt Lock is blocked and Lee clotheslines him out to the floor instead. Lee loads up a dive but gets blocked by MVP, meaning it’s time to give chase. Lashley gets in a cheap shot and drives him into the barricade. A fireman’s carry looks to drive Lee into the post, but it looks more like Lashley’s head gets crushed between Lee and the post as we take a break. Back with Lashley cranking on the arm and then grabbing a chinlock to change it up. Lee fights up with a clothesline but Lashley manages a suplex (it was better than the fireman’s carry).
The Hurt Lock is broken up again and Lee slugs him down without much trouble. There’s the Pounce to send Lashley outside and Lee hits a running crossbody. MVP posts Lee behind the referee’s back but Lee still beats the count. Back in and Lee’s arms are too big for the Hurt Lock so Lee gets on his back. That’s broken up with Lee dropping back on him….which draws in MVP for the DQ at 12:37.
Rating: B-. This was a total hoss fight and they did it as they should have. I know the ending might have felt stupid, but neither Lashley nor Lee need to be taking a fall so having Lee win via DQ is as good of a move as you can have. It’s better than either of them getting pinned and Lee continues to look strong for the second night in a row. Now just keep it up for a change.
Video on Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross being best friends and then being split apart due to the Fiend’s influence.
Nikki Cross talks about how she has tried to save Alexa Bliss but now it’s time to stop trying and start fighting.
Nikki Cross vs. Alexa Bliss
They talk trash to start and Bliss slaps her hand away, which she declares a win. Cross charges into a drop toehold so Bliss bails straight to the floor. The chase is on and Cross hits a headbutt to the ribs so they can head back in. Cross stomps away in the corner and then does the same on the mat for two. A Cannonball in the corner rocks Bliss again and Cross shouts a lot before shoving her down. Bliss looks at her hands and starts crying, which Cross actually falls for, earning herself the Sister Abigail for the pin at 4:17.
Rating: D. Cross is reaching a new level of gullible/stupid at this point and that is the kind of thing that makes her someone I want to cheer. Bliss has looked smarter, happier and more interesting the entire time. Then you have Cross, who just doesn’t get it and needs someone to smack her upside the head. The match was just there for the ending of course, and that’s ok in this story. Just get Nikki’s attention already.
We get the Undertaker video tribute from last night, set to Metallica’s Now That We’re Dead. This version includes a quick version of Undertaker’s Final Farewell from the end of Survivor Series.
Randy Orton vs. AJ Styles
For the final spot in the triple threat match. AJ goes straight for the rollup at the bell but Orton is back up so they can circle each other again. Orton sends him into the corner but AJ comes out with a shot to the throat for a breather. They head outside with AJ getting knocked up against the barricade, but Almos deposits him back on the apron. AJ hits a running kick to Orton’s face and then drops him onto the announcers’ table as we take a break.
Back with AJ hitting a chop block to take the knee out and put Orton down again. The leg cranking is back on but it’s too early for the Calf Crusher, as Orton rolls out and kicks him in the chest. Orton can’t hit a suplex but he can hit the backbreaker for two. AJ is right back with the Calf Crusher though, with Orton making it over to the rope after a lot of screaming.
The leg is fine enough to hit the snap powerslam for two on AJ but the RKO is blocked. Orton rolls to the floor….and we have Fiend lights. The lights come back up and Orton gets back inside, where he counters the Phenomenal Forearm and hits the hanging DDT. The RKO is loaded up and now the Fiend appears behind Orton, who looks terrified. Then the Fiend disappears and it’s the Phenomenal Forearm for the pin at 12:47.
Rating: C+. The Fiend stuff was good, even if it was another distraction finish. AJ moving on makes the most sense as we’ve covered Orton in the title hunt. Throw in that Orton vs. Fiend is a fresh match and the TLC card is a little more interesting. I’m curious to see how the #1 contenders match goes next week and that’s a nice feeling to have.
Fiend’s laughter ends the show.
Overall Rating: B-. I liked this show and given the way it was structured, I can’t say I’m surprised. This show had a goal of setting up the triple threat and that’s the direction they took throughout the night. There were some problems with the show and that is always going to be the case. For tonight though, it was nice to have something planned and then see them have a way to get there rather than throwing whatever they could out there and hoping to get to the result. Not a great show, but it was focused and that’s what matters.
Results
New Day b. Hurt Business – Sunset flip to Benjamin
Riddle b. Sheamus – Rollup
Asuka b. Lana via DQ when Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler interfered
Asuka/Lana b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Rollup to Baszler
Keith Lee b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when MVP interfered
Alexa Bliss b. Nikki Cross – Sister Abigail
AJ Styles b. Randy Orton – Phenomenal Forearm
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/
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Survivor Series 2020
Date: November 22, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips, Michael Cole, Corey Graves
It’s time for a special show as not only do we have Raw vs. Smackdown in the battle for the all important Brand Supremacy, but it’s also the thirty year anniversary of Undertaker’s debut. Tonight it’s his Final Farewell, which I really hope is the real FINAL Farewell and not a way to set up one more Wrestlemania match. Let’s get to it.
Kickoff Show: Battle Royal
Dolph Ziggler, Elias, Chad Gable, Cedric Alexander, Humberto Carrillo, Shelton Benjamin, Shinsuke Nakamura, Robert Roode, Jeff Hardy, Apollo Crews, Ricochet, Angel Garza, Rey Mysterio, Dominik Mysterio, Murphy, Kalisto, Miz, John Morrison
It’s a brawl to start and Dominik gets rid of Morrison early on. Kalisto and Rey have a lucha off until the Hurt Business jump them from behind. Alexander gets rid of Kalisto and Ziggler superkicks Rey down to break up a 619 to Roode. Ziggler tosses Rey so Murphy goes after him as Garza gets rid of Carrillo. The Hurt Business eliminates Garza and it’s Alexander and Ricochet fighting to the apron with Ricochet kicking him out.
Benjamin knees Ricochet out but Crews gets rid of Benjamin as well. Murphy and Roode put each other out and it’s Ziggler vs. Dominik on the apron. Ziggler misses a charge into the post and Dominik dropkicks him out, leaving us with Dominik, Elias, Nakamura, Miz, Crews, Hardy and Gable. Nakamura misses the running knee in the corner but hits the Kinshasa to knock Crews out. Hardy gets rid of Nakamura though and Elias is out as well, leaving us with Hardy, Miz, Gable and Dominik.
Gable clotheslines Hardy out (that’s a surprise) and Miz kicks Dominik in the face to cut off a 619 attempt. There are the YES Kicks to Dominik and the big one actually hits. Dominik throws him to the apron but Miz rolls back in, followed by the baseball slide to put Miz back inside (oh here we go). Gable suplexes Dominik but gets caught with a springboard armdrag. The 619 connects and Gable is out so Dominik thinks he won. Miz, back in, wins, 12:14.
Rating: D. Do they just try to get on my nerves with these things? It continues to be the most annoying finish to any match you can see in WWE because they use it WAY too often and it isn’t even clever. Miz winning is fine but that’s not the right way to get me interested in a show going forward.
Raw – 1
Smackdown – 0
The opening video looks at how important it is to be the Best Of The Best but the teams aren’t getting along. This transitions into the Undertaker, which is a good bit more important.
Raw Men vs. Smackdown Men
Raw: AJ Styles, Braun Strowman, Riddle, Keith Lee, Sheamus
Smackdown: King Corbin, Seth Rollins, Otis, Jey Uso, Kevin Owens
Just in case you’re confused, they do have the red and blue shirts, with USA and FOX on the back. Before the match, AJ, with his bodyguard, reiterates that he is captain but Riddle’s entrance cuts him off. Team Raw starts bickering about who the captain is before the bell until AJ and Uso start things off. The drop down into the dropkick barely hits and it’s Jey coming back with the right hand (Otis: “JUICY!”).
The Pele misses and Jey grabs a rollup for two as Paul Heyman is watching backstage. AJ walks into the Samoan drop and it’s off to Otis vs. Riddle in a hurry. Riddle’s headlock doesn’t work so it’s some pelvic thrusting with Otis shouting “OH YEAH BRO”. The sleeper doesn’t work and Otis dances off some kicks to the chest. A splash cuts Riddle off and it’s Owens coming in to go after Riddle’s bare feet. That doesn’t work so well so it’s off to Sheamus vs. Rollins, who looks pretty stoic, for a somewhat intriguing showdown. Rollins drops to his knees, tells Sheamus to do his part, and takes the Brogue Kick for the pin at 6:02.
Team Smackdown needs a meeting on the floor, with Owens saying Rollins will always be a piece of trash. Owens talks about how neither team works well together….and Strowman runs all four of them over out of boredom. Back in and Strowman shouts that his team needs to get on the same page and hands it off to Riddle to kick at Corbin. The smiling Lee comes in to face Otis, because the logical followup to last year when Lee pinned Rollins and almost pinned Roman Reigns.
They fight over the lockup before Lee’s shoulders don’t put Otis down. The Grizzly Magnum is cut off and Otis hits him with the stomach. Lee gets him up in a fireman’s carry but Otis lands on his feet. A left hand puts Otis down and it’s back to Strowman for the right hand. Strowman hits a running dropkick and it’s AJ coming in, only to get caught with a jawbreaker. Owens comes back in to backdrop AJ and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. Owens forearms him off the apron and everything breaks down. A series of Stunners has Team Raw staggered until AJ hits the Phenomenal Forearm to get rid of Owens at 12:19.
The End of Days hits AJ but the rest of the team makes the save. There’s Deep Six to Sheamus but AJ kicks Corbin down. The Floating Bro pins Corbin at 13:07 and it’s the full Team Raw vs. Uso/Otis. Sheamus hits a running knee for two on Uso and there are the ten forearms to the chest. Jey gets in a shot to the face and the hot tag brings in Otis for the suplexes. Strowman comes in and the shirts come off for the showdown. A big boot drops Otis but he’s right back with a slam.
The Caterpillar looks to set up the Vader Bomb but Riddle makes the save. The running powerslam gets rid of Otis at 16:39 and it’s Jey Uso vs. the entire Raw team. Uso starts superkicking everyone he can and the big dive over the top takes out all five of them. They get back in with Strowman going into the post and there’s a superkick to AJ. The bodyguard (Almos?) pulls AJ out of the way of the Superfly Splash but the Phenomenal Forearm is broken up. Lee makes a blind tag though and the Spirit Bomb finishes Uso for the win at 18:58.
Rating: D+. There were spots where the action was good but there was way too much time spent on “WE DON’T LIKE EACH OTHER”. This felt like a match where one team had to win and someone finally did, but it wasn’t exactly a thrilling way to get there. Otis did get a chance to shine here so he might have a bit more of a future than he seemed to have just a few weeks ago. It’s not an awful match and there have been WAY worse Survivor Series matches, but this wasn’t exactly a good way to get things going as the story wasn’t interesting during the build and they doubled down on it here.
Raw – 2
Smackdown – 0
New Day (Raw) vs. Street Profits (Smackdown)
Non-title and Big E. is here with New Day, who are in their Gears of War attire due to being characters in the game. We even get the trailer for their version of the game. Before their entrance, the Street Profits are in the back to talk about Undertaker and various wrestlers Undertaker has faced over the years. This includes singing Sexy Boy and saying Kane didn’t have a catchphrase but he did spray fire and that was cool.
Now it’s time to face New Day, who have been doing this for more than five years and accomplished all kinds of things (Dawkins: “YOU BUILT A TIME MACHINE!”). Tonight, they’re here to take the torch because they want the smoke. There was some fire from the Profits here and they shows how well they can talk.
Dawkins and Woods feel each other out to start but it’s quickly off to Kingston for some shouting at each other. Ford flips in (which the camera partially misses) and shoulders him down before they trade a bunch of leapfrogs. Dawkins comes back in for a double flapjack and a splash gets two on Kofi. The armbar goes on but the belly to back moonsault hits Kofi’s raised boot.
Everything heads outside with Kofi hitting the big dive and Woods shouting that the Profits are not ready for this New Day beating. Back in and the chinlock goes on, with Kofi taunting Ford by having a sip of a solo cup. Kofi works on the arm but it’s a shot to the face to allow the hot tag to Dawkins. House is cleaned with suplexes and a swinging butterfly suplex gets two on Woods.
Running Sliced Bread from Ford gets the same but Woods gets over to Kofi to pick up the pace. The Midnight Hour (with Woods playing Kofi and Kofi playing Big E.) gets two but it’s the Anointment into the Cash Out to Kofi. Ford’s bad ribs delay the cover though and Kofi is out at two. Everything breaks down and Ford hits Kofi with Trouble in Paradise. Woods hits a gorilla press gutbuster for two on Ford but Dawkins tags himself in. A Doomsday Blockbuster is enough to finish Woods at 14:03.
Rating: B. This took some time to get going and while New Day putting someone over has been done for a long time now, this felt a little different as the Profits have been champions since March and are already established as a team. Both teams are great in the ring and while I’m not sure if this was a passing of the torch, it was an awesome match with the Profits looking like the best team around today, as they should be at this point.
Raw – 2
Smackdown – 1
Respect is shown post match.
Bayley reluctantly puts on the arm band.
Nia Jax insists that Lana is NOT tagged in tonight.
Bobby Lashley (Raw) vs. Sami Zayn (Smackdown)
Non-title and the Hurt Business is here with Lashley. Sami bails to the floor to start and realizes he’s surrounded. The distraction lets Lashley get in a shot from behind but Sami catches him on the way back inside. Lashley runs through Sami’s clothesline but Sami hammers away and hits a top rope elbow to the back of the head for one. Back up and a big toss sends Sami flying, followed by the driving shoulders in the corner. The delayed vertical suplex drops Sami again….and Sami claims to have vertigo (which he did back in 2018).
The goldbricking rollup gives Sami two so Lashley runs him over, sending Sami outside. Sami shoves Alexander to try and get the DQ but the Hurt Business is smarter than that. Lashley follows him out but gets posted, only to barely beat the count back in. Sami goes for the turnbuckle pad, which Shelton ties right back on like a good friend should. Lashley is back with his big spinebuster to send Sami outside, where he claims MVP tripped him. When that doesn’t work, Sami is thrown back inside so the Hurt Lock can give Lashley the win at 7:46.
Rating: C-. This wasn’t designed to be a competitive match and I’m curious to see where Sami goes with his conspiracy theory stuff. It has been done before but Sami is the kind of talker who can make it work. Lashley did not need to be losing here and to be fair, he was never in any serious danger. This is how it should have gone and it worked as well as could have been expected.
Raw – 3
Smackdown – 1
Jey Uso goes to see Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman, with Jimmy Uso defending his brother about it being 5-1 and Jey trying his best. Reigns says Jimmy can go but Jey is staying. Jey lost because his team doesn’t respect him. If they don’t respect Jey they don’t respect Reigns and if they don’t respect Reigns, they don’t respect the family. If that’s the case, Jey has no place at the table so get out of here with your brother. Reigns is so great here because he comes off like he knows he can back up his word, but more importantly, Jey knows Reigns can back up his word and that makes him all the more of a monster.
Asuka (Raw) vs. Sasha Banks (Smackdown)
Non-title and since Cole isn’t on commentary, Graves handles IT’S BOSS TIME. Phillips: “How much is Cole paying you?” Graves: “Fifty bucks.” They go to the mat to no avail to start so Banks hiptosses her into an armbar. Banks switches to a short armscissors but they roll around on the mat with Banks getting a quickly broken Bank Statement. Some rollups give Banks two and she starts working on Asuka’s fingers.
There’s the Backstabber for two and Asuka bails outside for a breather. Banks talks trash from the ring and even holds the ropes open for her. Asuka sends her outside as well and now it’s Asuka holding the rope open for a change. Back in and Asuka grabs an ankle lock, followed by the sliding knee for two. The armbar goes on again but this time it’s Banks fighting up into an abdominal stretch. Asuka breaks that up and hits the running hip attack to the floor but Banks gets in a shot to the face.
Back in and Banks misses the Meteora though and they’re both down. Another hip attack misses Banks and another Backstabber gives Asuka two. The running knees connect for Banks in the corner and the Bank Statement goes on, with Asuka reversing into most of an Asuka Lock. That’s broken up as well but Asuka hits some knees to the face for two. Asuka grabs an ankle lock but they go into a pinfall reversal sequence for two each. A knee to the face rocks Asuka, who is right back with a kick of her own. The Asuka Lock is reversed into a rollup to give Banks the quick pin at 13:03.
Rating: B+. This was a different way to go and the match worked as a result. What mattered here was they didn’t bother going with the usual formula from these two and instead had them trading submissions until Banks caught her at the end. It was a heck of a match and Banks looked fired up off the pin, as she continues to accomplish various things she has never reached before to make this run feel different. Great stuff here, again.
Raw – 3
Smackdown – 2
We recap Miz winning the Kickoff Show battle royal.
Also on the Kickoff Show, the Gobbledy Gooker won the 24/7 Title.
The Gooker finds a trail of bird seed leading to a big pile, allowing Akira Tozawa to sneak up and grab a rollup for the pin and the title. R-Truth hits Tozawa with the bag of seed and wins the title, meaning the chase is on.
Raw Women vs. Smackdown Women
Raw: Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler, Peyton Royce, Lace Evans, Lana
Smackdown: Bianca Belair, Bayley, Natalya, Ruby Riott, Liv Morgan
Bayley’s armband even says CAPTAIN. Lacey and Bayley start things off with Lacey taking her into the corner for the napkin toss. You don’t do that to Bayley, who fights out of the corner and hands it off to Natalya. The belly to back drop into the step over basement dropkick gives Natalya two so Royce comes in. That means a double suplex from Natalya and Belair, with squats thrown in, for two. Riott comes in but gets drop toeholded down, allowing the tag off to Baszler.
A rollup gives Riott two so it’s quickly off to Jax, who is taken into the corner for the quintuple team. Liv’s sleeper doesn’t work so Lana tags herself in, much to Nia’s shock. Lana knocks Liv down so it’s off to Natalya for a reunion of a team that wasn’t important in the first place. A front facelock has Natalya in trouble but Jax tags herself in and orders Lana to sit on the steps until Jax tells her to get up. We settle down to Bayley kicking away at Royce in the corner until Royce gets a full nelson with her legs in the ropes (Graves: “I’d give that a perfect ten.”).
Bayley brings in Belair for a gorilla press Snake Eyes, setting up Bayley’s top rope elbow for two with Evans making a save. We hit the parade of secondary finishes, with Riott’s kick missing Jax’s head so badly that commentary has to point it out (as they should). Bayley goes up top but gets caught by Royce for in a superplex onto the pile on the floor. In theory at least, as Bayley THUDS to the floor right between them, meaning you can hear Bayley ask if everyone is ok. Back in and the Deja Vu gets rid of Bayley at 9:58.
Natalya comes in and the stepover basement dropkick is reversed into a half crab from Royce. Belair makes the save though and Natalya….can’t get some kind of leglock on Royce. Instead she goes with the Sharpshooter to make Royce tap at 11:41. Evans comes in with a clothesline to Natalya and the Woman’s Right finishes Natalya at 12:33.
It’s Belair in next so Evans clotheslines her down. Belair hits a double chickenwing faceplant but Evans catches her on top with a super Spanish Fly for two with the Riott Squad making the save. It’s off to Jax, so the Squad takes over on her in the corner. The Codebreaker into the Riot Kick staggers Jax right into the corner so Baszler can come in, making the Squad look a bit inept.
Riott gets kicked down but manages a rollup for two on Baszler. That just earns her the Kirifuda Clutch but this time Riott flips back onto her for a very delayed two. It’s so delayed that Baszler chokes her out and gets the easy pin at 16:48. We’re down to Belair/Morgan vs. Jax/Baszler/Evans/Lana with a ticked off Morgan taking over on Evans in the corner. A crucifix bomb gets rid of Evans at 17:59 as Jax has to yell at Lana to stay on the steps.
Liv shouts BRING IT B**** at Jax and slugs away, followed by a floatover DDT. Jax is back on one knee and an enziguri…just makes her get back to her feet. The Samoan drop finishes Morgan at 19:04 and it’s Belair down 3-1. Belair starts flipping around, including a moonsault over Jax (Jax: “WHAT THE???”) out of the corner. A splash hits knees though and Jax drops the leg for two. Belair manages to kick Jax off the ropes and out to the floor but Baszler tags herself in.
The Kirifuda Clutch goes on but Belair gets out of it with a belly to back suplex. Baszler slaps it on again, with Belair powering to her feet this time and walking to the ropes with Baszler on her back. Belair collapses into the ropes for the break, with Baszler not letting go until it’s a DQ at 22:26. Jax loads up the announcers’ table but Belair shoves her into the steps. A backdrop sends Jax over the barricade for the double countout at 23:10….and that makes Lana the soul survivor because she was standing on the steps.
Rating: D. This just kept going and showed you how interchangeable the women are outside of the top of the division. Lana surviving and winning isn’t exactly shocking and it probably gets us one step close to what should be the inevitable tables match against Jax at TLC where she suddenly makes up for the last three months. I’m still not sure who thinks this version of Lana as the big face is a good idea (ok it’s Vince) but dang they’re taking their time getting there. The rest of the match was as nothing as you would expect from this group of women, and that’s very sad given the talent that is involved.
Raw – 4
Smackdown – 2
TLC: Enter The Storm is on December 20.
We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Roman Reigns. McIntyre showed up on Smackdown and called out Reigns, who told him to go win a title and see him at Survivor Series. That’s what McIntyre did and here we go.
Roman Reigns (Smackdown) vs. Drew McIntyre (Raw)
Non-title and Reigns has Paul Heyman with him. They fight over a lockup to start with Reigns taking him to the mat off a headlock. McIntyre reverses into one of his own, followed by a running shoulder to put Reigns on the floor for a change. Back in and Reigns hits him in the face and sends McIntyre face first into the buckle to take over again. McIntyre slugs away but they head to the floor where Reigns gets in a posting.
Back in again and Reigns hammers him down, setting up a snap suplex for two. Reigns hits the jumping clothesline for the same and we hit an arm trap chinlock. McIntyre fights up with a neckbreaker and pops up, only to walk into a Samoan drop for two. The Superman Punch is countered into a spinebuster for two and they’re both down again, as this is finally starting to reach a higher gear.
Reigns slugs away some more but McIntyre hits the Glasgow Kiss into the Future Shock for a rather close two, sending Heyman into another level of panic. The Claymore is countered with a Superman Punch but McIntyre is right back up. Reigns tries the guillotine but gets thrown down in a hurry. The Claymore misses so Reigns tries the spear, which is countered into the Kimura.
Reigns has to go to the ropes and they head outside, with McIntyre being Samoan dropped through the announcers’ table. The spear through the barricade looks to destroy McIntyre but he’s out at two again. Another spear is cut off by a kick to the face but Reigns hits another spear for two. McIntyre hits the Claymore, which bumps the referee to the floor. Cue Jey Uso for a distraction so Reigns can hit a low blow and Jey adds a superkick. The guillotine goes on and McIntyre is out at 24:54.
Rating: B. This took a long time to get going but once they hit that next gear, it started living up to the hype. They did what they could to protect McIntyre here and that’s how it should have gone if they were going to have a finish. Normally I’d take that over some double countout or double DQ finish but that might have been better here. Still though, heck of a match once it got going and McIntyre didn’t lose much in defeat. And it’s better than Randy Orton interfering to set up another match.
Raw – 4
Smackdown – 3
Post match Jey sits on the stage until Reigns comes up and hugs him.
It’s time for Undertaker’s Final Farewell so let’s bring out the guests:
Shane McMahon
Big Show
JBL
Jeff Hardy
Mick Foley
Godfather
Godwins
Savio Vega
Rikishi
Kevin Nash
Booker T.
Shawn Michaels
Ric Flair
HHH
Kane
Commentary says Undertaker launched Hardy to a Hall of Fame career in their ladder match, because Matt Hardy no longer exists right now. With that out of the way, Cole gets to mention the Bone Street Krew, which has to be one of the only mentions ever of the group on WWE TV. Everyone is in the ring and we get a long video package on Undertaker, set to Metallica’s Now That We’re Dead with various legends talking about what Undertaker means.
Vince McMahon comes out to say that Undertaker has been here for three decades (even saying he was there in the WWF). They say nothing can live forever, but Undertaker’s legacy will live forever. With that, he gives us the Undertaker. Undertaker’s symbol appears and we get what sounds like an electric version of his old music. The regular version begins and we get the full entrance, with Undertaker looking around and soaking in some cheers. Undertaker says that everyone’s time has come to let the Undertaker rest in peace.
The THANK YOU TAKER chants start up again and he tips his hat, takes the knee and strikes the pose, with a Paul Bearer hologram appearing with the Urn and an OH YEEEEEESSSS. The gong toes off and the music hits again, so Undertaker gives us one last throat slit. Undertaker slowly walks up the ramp, looks back, and raises the fist. He slowly walks off and through the curtain as the show ends. I don’t know what else there is to say here. It’s the Undertaker and he’s not going to be around anymore. That’s going to take some getting used to.
Overall Rating: B. This is one of the weirder shows WWE has ever put on as it more or less exists in a vacuum as the results mean nothing, but at the same time it had the Undertaker’s farewell. The wrestling was pretty good for the most part, though the two Survivor Series matches were a pretty wretched pairing. The stakes were much lower than last year but there were three very good matches and the Undertaker segment brought the emotion. It’s a good show, but dang they could have done with cutting out a pair of matches. Or with some actual stakes for a change.
Results
Raw Men b. Smackdown Men last eliminating Jey Uso
Street Profits b. New Day – Doomsday Blockbuster to Woods
Bobby Lashley b. Sami Zayn – Hurt Lock
Sasha Banks b. Asuka – Rollup
Raw Women b. Smackdown Women last eliminating Bianca Belair
Roman Reigns b. Drew McIntyre – Guillotine choke
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:
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