Monday Night Raw – June 28, 1999: The Biggest Of All Time

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 28, 1999
Location: Charlotte Coliseum, Charlotte, North Carolina
Attendance: 19,533
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after King of the Ring and, believe it or not, a lot of things have changed. Last night saw Billy Gunn beat X-Pac to win the tournament (because having Road Dogg move on to the finals to face Gunn was too basic and logical for Russo) and the McMahons regained power from Steve Austin due to some shenanigans. Now why do I have a feeling that more shenanigans are afoot? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a stills package from last night’s main event with Austin getting screwed out of his powers as CEO. Was anyone really expecting anything else? Your trivia: that was the last time Vince and Austin faced each other in a match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s the Corporate Ministry and balloons fall as Vince starts to celebrate. Vince and Shane are downright giddy and Shane gets to fire Austin as CEO. With Paul Bearer and Mideon dancing together in the background, Vince promises that Austin is going back down to the bottom of the ladder. As for tonight, Austin will be in a preliminary match and then get to take the ring apart to end the show.

This brings Vince to the rest of last night, including Undertaker making Rock’s upper lip curl and the general success of the Corporate Ministry. In honor of everything going well, Vince is willing to offer Undertaker the opportunity to defend the WWF Title against HHH at Fully Loaded. Cue the Big Boss Man to his old music (freaking sweet) to stare Vince and Shane down….and then and rejoin the team.

That’s finally enough and it’s time for Austin to blow the roof off the place. Austin gets straight to the briefcase being raised up, and really he’s not surprised. He’s so not surprised that he did something when he was still CEO. In addition to giving himself a new contract for more money and the ability to attack Vince whenever he wants to, he’s facing the Undertaker for the title TONIGHT and if anyone interferes, Austin wins the title.

Ken Shamrock vs. Steve Blackman

Weapons match and Shamrock is in street clothes. Before the match, Shamrock yells about Vince sending Blackman to take him out, because he’s never going to stop. They start fighting on the floor but Shamrock’s bad ribs flare up. Some weapons shots to the ribs make Shamrock bleed from the mouth and he can barely move. That’s enough for Blackman, who hits Shamrock in the head with a kendo stick, puts his weapons back in the bag, and leaves. As is so often the case, this was more of a segment than a match.

Shamrock refuses medical attention and Blackman leaves.

Here’s King Billy Gunn for a chat. He brags about “winning” the Tag Team Titles last week but quickly shifts over to winning three matches in a row last week over people “at the top of their game”. Gunn is tired of carrying people everywhere because now it’s all about him. Cue Chyna and HHH with the latter holding a shirt. He’s out here on business and asks if Billy has gotten his royalty check lately.

They’re a little lower than they should be because X-Pac and Road Dogg are claiming the rights to the DX name. Therefore, all the shirts like the DX shirts he’s holding are putting money in X-Pac and Road Dogg’s pockets. The three of them were DX so it’s time to go get the rights back where they belong. HHH is busy so Chyna can help Billy instead. They have a deal but here’s Rock to go after HHH for costing him the title last night.

Chaz (formerly Beaver Cleavage) and his girlfriend Marianna is asked about “breaking character” last week (you know Russo wrote this because no one else would be stupid enough to put something like this on TV). He’s been down “gimmick alley” before and says he doesn’t want to be anything but himself. Egads this stuff is hard to watch.

GTV shows us Test and Stephanie McMahon leaving a Marriott together.

Meat vs. Chaz

It’s the battle of the underwear with Meat, with PMS, in pink briefs and Chaz in smiley face boxers. Chaz stars with a powerslam as we hear about Rock vs. HHH being made for tonight. Lawler of course can’t shut up about Stephanie and Test at the hotel, even as Meat gets two off a layout F5. Terri offers a quick distraction so Jacqueline can punch Chaz, leaving Marianna shoves Terri down. The bigger distraction lets Chaz hit a reverse Death Valley Driver for a fast pin.

Test is in the back for an interview but Shane McMahon and the Mean Street Posse run in and beat him down.

Here’s Hardcore Holly, who isn’t impressed by Big Show throwing a car on him. Holly: “Well guess what. YOU MISSED!” As for tonight, he wants Kane due to a fight last night at King of the Ring.

Hardcore Holly vs. Kane

Kane elbows him in the face to start but gets crotched on top. The referee gets distracted for the sake of convenience, allowing Big Show to sneak (because giants can do that) in for a chokeslam on Kane to give Holly the pin.

Post match Kane pops up and chokeslams Holly four times.

The Rock vs. HHH

Before the match, Rock talks about leaving a tattoo on the back of Undertaker’s 33lb head saying how badly he beat Undertaker up. The slugout it on in a hurry with Rock getting the better of it off a running clothesline. HHH is right back up with some right hands in the corner as we’re waiting on whatever run-in they have for this match. Rock’s DDT gets two and it’s Billy Gunn coming in with a club to knock Rock cold less than two minutes in.

Prince Albert and Droz are beating up Val Venis.

Godfather vs. Edge

Godfather is in the Hall of Fame before either Rock or HHH. There’s something very wrong with that reality. Unfortunately Lawler has seen Austin Powers recently and is now full of jokes from the movie. As Edge is coming to the ring, we see a clip of Edge coming off the middle rope to spear Jeff Hardy out of the air, which JR thinks is amazing. Time continues to not be kind to this show. They punch each other a bit and here are Droz and Albert for no logical reason. Edge falls down before a clothesline touches him and there’s the Ho Train. Droz, distraction, sitout gorilla press, spear gives Edge the pin.

Post match Godfather gets beaten down again. His arms get tied into the ropes and Albert goes to pierce one of the Ho’s tongue with Edge making a save. The ladies seem very happy and are all over Edge, who can go with this. A displeased Gangrel is watching from the crowd.

Gunn tells someone to come out if he’s needed.

Billy Gunn vs. Bradshaw

This is taking place because Gunn took a title belt with him after winning a six man tag where he was partners with the Acolytes, who are the actual champions. Bradshaw clotheslines him to the floor and Faarooq gets in a belt shot to no reaction. Back in and Gunn punches him down because Faarooq hitting you in the head with a title belt is just an inconvenience.

Gunn’s Stinger Splash is countered into a fall away slam but a tornado DDT plants Bradshaw. With Bradshaw down, Gunn pulls the trunks down at Faarooq, who hits Bradshaw with a belt by mistake. The Fameasser is broken up by an interfering X-Pac and the Clothesline gives Bradshaw the pin and the title back, even though it’s a Tag Team Title being won in a singles match and Bradshaw never lost the thing.

Rating: F. Ok I know I harp on this stuff a lot but we just had a three minute match with multiple belt shots, two people interfering and a singles match for a Tag Team Title that was stolen when a partner won a six man tag to wrap up a two week story. Are we really going to have people changing the channel to Nitro (featuring the Cat vs. David Flair and Sid Vicious vs. Scott Putski before a main event of David Flair challenging for the World Title) if things weren’t moving this fast?

Post match Chyna throws X-Pac inside but Road Dogg comes in for the save. Was it really necessary to have Chyna, who was shown with Gunn earlier, as a mystery?

Here are new Women’s Champion Ivory and Nicole Bass for a chat. Ivory talks about how real she is and how she wants some competition. Therefore, let’s have an open challenge to any fan in the crowd. A woman gets in the ring but starts to back off. Ivory slaps her and the catfight is on, only to have Bass powerbomb the fan. More beating ensues and Ivory drags her around by the hair as security makes the save.

Vince isn’t worried about Austin.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac

Jarrett is defending and has Debra with him, who gives Lawler a SHOW ME THE PUPPIES shirt. Oddly enough, that’s worthy of a small grin. They run the ropes to start and it’s X-Pac missing a charge in the corner. Jeff tosses him to the floor as Lawler says the briefcase being raised up last night was a trick of the eyes. Back in and Jeff whips him hard into the corner, followed by the sleeper.

As is always the case, it’s reversed into a sleeper on Jarrett but this time he reverses into a third. That’s broken up with a low blow as the fans chant for Mongo (Debra’s ex-husband) and X-Pac grabs a sitout powerbomb. The Bronco Buster connects but here’s Gunn with a guitar. That’s taken away and Jeff gets clocked but there’s no referee as Debra has her jacket opened. The distraction lets Gunn hit the Fameasser so Jarrett can retain the title.

Rating: D. You know, because these two, as in two of the best hands of the generation, can’t get five minutes on a show packed with this much stuff. Oh but at least we got another segment in the DX fallout after all those other segments in the DX fallout, including in the previous match. As usual, too much packed into too short of a time and it doesn’t have time to connect.

Post match Dogg comes in, quickly followed by Chyna until referees break up the brawl.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Steve Austin

Undertaker is defending and gets flipped off before the bell, meaning the slugout is on in a hurry. They slug it out in the corner with Undertaker actually getting the better of it until a Thesz press gets Austin out of trouble. They’re already out on the floor with Undertaker going face first into the steps but he kicks Austin in the face back inside (thankfully without the knockout ala Summerslam 1998). Paul Bearer gets in a shoe shot and there’s a clothesline to the floor. Lawler: “Austin is like the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz! He’s got no heart!” Maybe Lawler should focus on his film/literature studies more than the puppies.

Austin fights back and drops Bearer with a right hand but walks into a clothesline. Back in and we hit the choke before Undertaker falls on top of a slam attempt. You know, because Austin is known for his slams. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Old School gets two. Austin pulls him face first into the corner though but his crotching against the post is pretty easily kicked away.

That means a third chinlock but Austin is up much faster this time, only to have a double clothesline put them both back down. Back up and the Tombstone is countered into a Stunner for….two with Bearer pulling the referee out. Austin is right back in with another Stunner to get the title back.

Rating: D+. And that’s the highest rated match in the history of cable, drawing over 10 million viewers for a record that is never going to be broken. These two never do have a strong chemistry together and this wasn’t their best effort either. They had a little extra time but it was still just about ten minutes long, which isn’t exactly what you want for a match this big.

Post match Undertaker hits him with the belt to draw some blood and beats Austin down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The main event was huge but the rest of the show was the usual flying through a dozen stories at once, often with stories that didn’t need to exist (the Tag Team Title belt for instance) or were done far too many times in one show (the DX stuff). It wasn’t as bad as some of these shows have been, but I’ve only been done watching the show for a short while and I’m trying to remember what I watched. That’s the case way too often around here and is more exhausting than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event – June 28, 2018: This Was The Worse Option?

IMG Credit: WWE

Main Event
Date: June 28, 2018
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Vic Joseph, Percy Watson

This show has started turning into a nice little way of reminding me of what happened earlier in the week as most of it tends to go sailing out of my head a day or two after the show is over. It’s quick, it’s to the point, and while the original wresting isn’t great, it does things as well as can be expected. In other words, this is what the show was designed to do. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Chad Gable vs. Mike Kanellis

Gable wastes no time in reversing headlock takeovers and gets two off a rollup. A very fast takedown sets up an armbar on Kanellis and a running armdrag makes it even worse. Kanellis finally sends him throat first into the middle rope for a breather and some running clotheslines in the corner (with blown kisses) get two. The chinlock is broken up in all of three seconds and Gable knocks him to the floor for a running apron cannonball. The fans are behind Gable here, even as he gets taken down with a sitout Rock Bottom. A superkick knocks Gable into the corner but Rolling Chaos Theory gives Gable the pin at 5:19.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here at all as Gable got to show off and Kanellis gets to eat this week. Kanellis could go somewhere if he had a gimmick other than being Maria’s husband, especially when Maria isn’t around. Gable still has all the potential in the world but here he is on Main Event while Jason Jordan got the big push but now is sitting on the injured list because Heaven forbid the awesome American Alpha team got to continue.

We look back at Alexa Bliss winning Money in the Bank and cashing in, earning her complete destruction at the hands of Ronda Rousey, causing Rousey to be suspended.

From Raw.

Here are Alexa and Mickie James to brag about Bliss getting the title back and laugh off the idea of Rousey being a threat. Now Bliss gets to face the big bully in Nia Jax, assuming Nia’s arm is healthy by then. Bliss talks about how the mean girl overcame the pretty and popular one because it works in Hollywood. This is the real world though and Bliss knows how to overcome obstacles. She’s overcome Jax and Rousey and is still champion so boo her all you want.

Cue Natalya to say the countdown is on because we’re 23 days away from Rousey returning to deal with Bliss. That earns Natalya a lecture about posting her whole life on social media, because that’s the appropriate response here. Natalya isn’t done though, because she gets to face Bliss right now.

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

Non-title and Natalya has Nia Jax in her corner. Joined in progress with Bliss holding her in a bodyscissors before the moonsault knees to the ribs get two. Some stomps to the back give Bliss two but both seconds offer failed interference. Natalya uses the distraction to hit a discus lariat, followed by the Sharpshooter for the tap at 4:07.

Rating: D. In theory this should go somewhere for Natalya, who is still sniffing around the Rousey story, which could be a good idea for Rousey down the line. I’m never a fan of the champing tapping clean like this but it’s such a common practice to have a champion lose these days that it’s not even worth getting upset about anymore.

From Raw again.

Sasha Banks/Bayley/Ember Moon vs. Riott Squad

Banks starts fast with the Meteora to Logan so it’s off to Liv vs. Moon. Everything breaks down in a hurry and the Squad bails to the floor, leaving Moon to dive onto Riott and Morgan. Back form a break with Banks coming back in to clean house with clotheslines but Riott cuts her off with a kick to the face. Bayley makes a save and everything breaks down with Moon elbowing Logan in the face. Banks rolls Riott up for two but has to knock Morgan off the apron, allowing Riott to small package Sasha for the pin at 7:02.

Rating: D+. So you remember all those time where Bayley and Sasha can’t get along and it’s been going on for about four months now? This is the latest version. They really, really need to go somewhere with this already because it’s gone on for so long already and the energy from the whole thing is gone.

Post match Bayley snaps and beats the heck out of Sasha as the fans want tables. Banks gets tossed into the steps twice and the fans cheer for Bayley. The announcers treat this like a heel turn but Bayley is loudly cheered and it’s the result of Banks stabbing her in the back over and over. That doesn’t sound heel turnish to me.

From Smackdown.

Harper vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan goes with the kicks in the corner to start but gets punched in the face. They head outside with Harper getting the better of it, setting up a neck crank back inside. A missed charge sends Harper outside again and there’s the suicide dive, which is caught without much effort. Harper drops him face first onto the announcers’ table and a big boot puts Bryan over the barricade.

Back from a break with the swinging Boss Man Slam getting two on Bryan. We hit the chinlock but Bryan jawbreaks his way to freedom, setting up the corner dropkick. Bryan charges right into a Michinoku Driver for two more though and Harper takes over one more time. Harper hits a dropkick and takes Bryan up top but gets punched down. That means a tornado DDT and the YES Kicks as Harper is in trouble. The YES Lock goes on but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 13:07.

Rating: C. Bryan was fine here and that’s all this match needed to be. You can find someone to team with him later on and Bryan vs. Miz can be a big time match at Summerslam. If nothing else Bryan vs. either Brother again is fine for a TV match and you can do the same thing with whoever his partner is. The match was fine.

Post match the beatdown is on until Kane of all people comes out for the save. Kane and Bryan clean house and the fans are very pleased. The TEAM HELL NO chants start up and cue Paige to say that at Extreme Rules, HELL NO is getting the Tag Team Title shot at the Bludgeon Brothers.

Breezango/Bobby Roode vs. Ascension/Curt Hawkins

What a random tag match. Viktor and Breezango start things off with a surprising mention of the teams’ former friendship. We get a pose off for a BOO/YAY off and now it’s off to Hawkins and Fandango for a dance off. Hawkins wants Roode instead though and Roode throws him citations before an atomic drop gives us the first major offense nearly two minutes in.

It’s back to Fandango for some right hands but Konnor comes in off a blind tag as we take a break. Back with Konnor missing a charge in the corner and the hot tag bringing in Roode to clean house on Hawkins. Fandango hands Roode the cop hat so the Glorious DDT can finish Hawkins at 7:55.

Rating: D. There’s not much you can do in an eight minute match when two minutes are spent on posing/dancing and three and a half are in a commercial. Hawkins’ losing streak is still amusing enough but I’m not sure how long it’s going to last on the big shows. Roode continues to be dying for a heel turn but that GLORIOUS is so over that I get why they’re hesitant to pull the trigger. Ascension and Breezango….I’m sorry guys.

And from Raw to wrap it up.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins is challenging and, after Big Match Intros, wastes no time in dropkicking Ziggler out to the floor. Some chops rock Ziggler and it’s off to an early armbar as they have about half an hour if not more. That’s broken up in a hurry and Ziggler hits his big jumping elbow for an early two. A headlock keeps Rollins in trouble and the pace slows a good bit. Rollins finally fights up and Ziggler bails to the floor, only to have McIntyre fail as a shield.

A staredown with McIntyre takes us to a break. Back with Rollins holding his knee and another chinlock keeping things slow. Rollins fights up and sends him into the corner for a breather and both guys are down. Ziggler backdrops him over the top to further the knee injury but Seth is back up for stereo crossbodies. Rollins’ knee is fine enough for a Sling Blade but McIntyre offers a distraction. That’s enough for an ejection, allowing Rollins to suicide dive onto both of them.

Back in and Ziggler crotches him on top for two and we take another break. We come back again with Rollins hitting the Ripcord Knee but Ziggler gets his foot on the rope. They fight to the apron where a DDT knocks Rollins senseless with the announcers declaring it over. Do they really think we buy lines like that anymore? Rollins knees him down again for a close two but gets caught on top.

Ziggler gets shoved down and the frog splash gets another close two and the fans are losing their minds. The Stomp and the Zig Zag both miss and Ziggler’s rollup with tights gets two. Now the Zig Zag connects for two and Ziggler is stunned. They head up top again and Rollins tries a superplex to the floor but has to settle for the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for an even closer two instead with McIntyre pulling the referee out for the DQ at 27:38.

Rating: B. And so, it’s going to continue, likely in some form of gimmick match at Extreme Rules. As usual, I would rather be seeing McIntyre in Ziggler’s spot but for some reason he’s just there as muscle and not even bothering to put him in the ring more often than not. As long as this leads to McIntyre dropping Ziggler and either winning the title or moving on to bigger and better things, everything will be fine. Just get Ziggler away from the spotlight already.

As for the match, it was much better after the second break but that first half was just filling time that the match really didn’t need to have. I would always prefer a hot seventeen minute match over a twenty seven minute match where about half of it feels like a waste of time. The ending didn’t help things either, but some of those near falls were great.

Post match the beatdown is on until Roman Reigns makes the save. A Superman Punch puts McIntyre back on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Intercontinental Title match helped, even though they only showed about five minutes and the post match stuff. I liked that Kanellis vs. Gable match far more than I expected to and it’s always nice to have a surprise. Raw wasn’t great this week but they did a good job of cutting away the bad stuff to give us a nice show, which is where this show can be rather successful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – January 26, 2004: It’s Wrestlemania Season

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 26, 2004
Location: Giant Center, Hershey, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the night after the Royal Rumble and things didn’t go so well for Raw. The Rumble itself was won by Smackdown’s Chris Benoit and the Raw World Title match went to a draw, meaning the World Title situation is kind of up in the air. Raw won’t be back on pay per view until Wrestlemania so their TV needs to be very good. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the Royal Rumble if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Mick Foley returning last night, showing that he’s not a coward by attacking Randy Orton. The terrified look on Orton’s face is great.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Chris Jericho to open things up. He’s not happy that Benoit won the Rumble instead of him, but since Benoit is on Smackdown and Jericho was the last Raw wrestler in the Rumble, he should be getting a title shot. Say, TONIGHT. Actually, let’s just make that his Survivor Series favor. He wants to defend the title in New Hampshire, Wyoming, the Dakotas, Florida, and then in New York, complete with the Howard Dean scream. I haven’t heard that referenced in a good while so it got a small chuckle.

Cue Eric Bischoff, to say the title match is on….if that’s what Jericho wants. If he takes that match though, Trish Stratus has to face Kane. See, Bischoff is embarrassed that Raw lost the Rumble again so being the last Raw wrestler means nothing. So tonight, it’s either a title shot or no Trish vs. Kane. Jericho gives Bischoff a look that means the match is off but Bischoff isn’t done. Since Jericho and Rob Van Dam were the last Raw names in the match, they’re teaming up tonight to face Evolution (sans HHH)…..NOW. Are we at least done with the Survivor Series favors now?

Chris Jericho/Rob Van Dam vs. Evolution

Jericho and Flair lock up to start and a dropkick puts Flair down. Flair pokes him in the eye to take over as JR says he hasn’t seen Flair make many mistakes over the years. Uh, yeah. Orton comes in and eats a spinwheel kick so it’s off to Van Dam for the first time. The kicks and chops have Orton in trouble and charging into Jericho’s raised boot in the corner makes things even worse.

Orton finally knees Van Dam down and drops a forearm for two as things slow down a good bit. A spinwheel kick drops Flair and a flip splash gets two with Orton coming in for the save. Everything breaks down for a few seconds and Jericho is spinebustered on the outside, leaving Van Dam on his own as we take a break. Back with Van Dam in trouble and Jericho being checked on by the trainers.

Flair starts in on the arm and it’s off to Orton, as Batista still hasn’t actually been in the match. The short armscissors stays on as Jericho is up to his knees for an improvement. Batista comes in as the fans try to get behind Jericho. Orton steps on the arm again as Jericho is now back to the apron. It says a lot when you can make walking to your corner a story within a match and actually have it work. A kick to the face finally gets Van Dam over to Jericho and it’s time to pick the pace up in a hurry.

The bulldog gets two on Batista and Orton is backdropped to the floor. There are the Walls to Batista and a Five Star to Flair but Orton runs in to….completely miss the RKO on Jericho, who doesn’t even move off of Batista because Orton (Stupid! Stupid!) wasn’t close. The second attempt works fine though (with a strategic camera angle just in case) and Batista gets the pin.

Rating: C+. That botch at the end hurt things a lot as they were doing well with Jericho being cut off for so long until the hot tag. Evolution is a good choice for a team like this as you have a little bit of everything in there to make the team work well. They had to work hard but still won and it’s not like Van Dam and Jericho are damaged by losing a handicap match.

Post break Orton is in Bischoff’s office and wants revenge on Foley. Steve Austin comes in and says Foley is going to get to talk first though.

Trish comes in to check on Jericho and thank him for getting her out of the match with Kane. She thinks they could have a good relationship….as friends. Not as friendly as he is with Christian, like going out on the town or anything and helping him pick up women. Cue Christian, who Jericho doesn’t seem happy to see. Trish leaves and Jericho wants to know where Christian was during that handicap match. Christian was in Bischoff’s office, getting the two of them a #1 contenders match for the Tag Team Titles next week. Jericho just needs to get his head in the game. I love this story.

Molly Holly/Jazz vs. Victoria/Lita

Fallout from Victoria pinning Molly on Heat last night. During Lita’s entrance, Lawler mentions rumors that Playboy is looking for a pair of Divas to pose together. I mean, they’ve already been found and announced at this point, but Lawler hasn’t been up to speed on anything in years. Lita and Molly start things up with Holly being thrown into the corner for some good old fashioned begging off. It’s off to Victoria vs. Jazz, who hit the mat with Jazz getting the better of things.

Victoria gets sent outside, setting up an argument between Stevie Richards and Teddy Long. I think I need to see those two have a match at some point. Molly comes back in for a reverse cravate and it’s back to Jazz for the same thing. The splash misses though as Lawler asks JR how he can’t comment on the wrestlers’ looks. Lita gets the hot tag and cleans house to mere indifference from the crowd. With Lita and Jazz fighting on the floor, Victoria small packages Molly for the pin. Lawler: “ARE YOU WATCHING PLAYBOY???”

Rating: D+. I know it’s not the best change of pace in the world and they still need some fresh blood, but Victoria as a face could do some good for the pretty weak division. Molly isn’t doing anything as champion though and the lack of charisma near the title is hurting things a lot. In other words, they need a shakeup but a shakeup that actually makes a long term difference.

Here’s HHH for a chat with the announcers treating his Last Man Standing match with Shawn like some kind of epic struggle. HHH says last night, two men fought for what they believed in and it came down to one second as neither was able to get up at ten. Cue Shawn Michaels so HHH asks what it takes to get Shawn to quit. Shawn says they haven’t even gotten started yet but thankfully here’s Austin to cut things off before we get a fifteen minute exchange about whatever these two decided this is about next.

Cue Benoit to stare at both of them and say he went through a hard night of his own. He’s fought eighteen years to be the best and now he has the opportunity to face the best. At Wrestlemania, Benoit is coming for the World Heavyweight Championship, no matter who has it. So there’s the big Raw match in a surprise.

Kane vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Bubba is fighting for Spike after Kane attacked him last night. Some right hands have Kane in trouble to start and a big one puts him on the floor. Kane has far better success on the floor with some uppercuts having Bubba in trouble. Back in and Kane rips at Bubba’s face, including a hard thumb in the eye. Kane grabs the steps and blasts the blind Bubba for the DQ.

Paul Heyman is on the phone with Bischoff, who didn’t know what Austin was going to do. Heyman promises lawyers and hangs up with Coach coming in instead. Coach finds the whole thing funny and gets to face Goldberg in a No DQ match as a result.

Rico vs. Rob Conway

Rico takes him down to annoy Conway to start but Rene Dupree gets in a few cheap shots on the floor to take over. Back in and Conway threatens to break Rico’s neck, which is a little harsher than it needs to be. A clothesline sets up the chinlock as Jackie slaps the mat in an already loose top, sending Lawler through the roof.

We cut away for a second and come back to her holding it in place, making me wonder how that went live. Rico fights up with right hands and clotheslines but Rene pops up on the apron for a distraction. Not to be outdone, Jackie does the same, pulls her top off to really distract Conway, and allows Rico to kick Conway in the face for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is going to be about the Playboy thing isn’t it? There’s no other logical reason to give these two more than eighteen seconds on Raw so it has to be some other thing, such as pushing an angle that has already been spoiled in advance. At least it means more of Jackie, which is the only good part of the whole thing.

Post match Stacy Keibler comes out and raises Jackie’s hand to hint at Playboy. Moving on.

Wrestlemania Recall: Wrestlemania IX, with a grand total of no wrestling shown.

Mick Foley arrives.

We look at Brock Lesnar attacking Goldberg last night, setting up his elimination.

Coach comes out to face Goldberg but first he begs Bischoff to reconsider the match because no one wants to see this. Hang on though, because here are Teddy Long and Mark Henry. Teddy thinks it’s unfair for a “cracker” like Bischoff to dump his problems on the black man. That’s blatant haterizing because whitey thinks he can tell the black man to dance. Teddy gives Coach Henry for the night and we’re ready to go.

Goldberg vs. Jonathan Coachman

Rating: F+. Remember those other times where Goldberg has beaten Henry up without much efforts? Well this time he did the same thing to Coach at the same time. Goldberg vs. Lesnar is all but a lock for Wrestlemania now and having Goldberg beat up Coach and Henry isn’t exactly a great way to get me fired up for it. Find some new people for Goldberg to beat up instead.

Here’s Mick Foley for his big return speech. Foley says an explanation is in order after he walked out on the company back in December. When fans talk about his career, they say a lot of nice things about his guts and courage, but they overlook his hatred. Foley was able to reach deep down into his heart and channel what he found there into some superhuman things in the ring.

That was fine when he was an active wrestler but things have changed today. Foley talks about Pete Rose working as hard as he could because he was mad at the world, which was cool with Rose was in a uniform. Seeing that same man angry at the world at 61 years old while he lies about betting on baseball is just sad. That’s not what Foley wanted to be, and it took him a long time to let go of the hatred after he retired. It was a big, big mistake to take the match with Orton in the first place because he knew he couldn’t reach down into the hatred again.

Foley calls Orton, on his own, out to the ring so here he is to respond. Orton asks what Foley wants….and it’s for Orton to spit in his face again. That’s going to be a no, so Foley shouts about all the blood he’s spilled over the years until Orton spits on him. Foley then turns the other cheek and asks Orton to do it even harder this time. You can see the confusion in Orton’s eyes as Foley says he wants this one to be extra green. Orton does it and Foley cheers for him, even asking for a closeup.

Foley is used to having things like this happen to him because he’s got four kids. That brings Foley to all the commercials that Orton’s “friends” aired because people started believing what they were saying. The spit on his face is spitting on his legacy and Foley cannot accept this, so he hits himself in the head, drawing blood. He suffered and worked too long to have Orton spit on his legacy.

Foley saw his ear thrown away in Munich, Germany and got beaten up in Nigeria and now he’s in that dark place again. There is a time and a place for hatred and that is right now in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Foley beats him down in the corner and hits the running knee but here’s Evolution for the save. A clothesline puts him on the floor but Foley comes back with a chair to clean house and end the show.

It took me some time to get into this one but Foley completely sold me by the end. He started off with the rather goofy spit stuff but then pulled Orton into the deep end, with Orton’s face perfectly selling the idea that he knew he was in WAY over his head. Foley knows how to get down into that deep, dark area and Orton isn’t even two years into his main roster career yet. This was a really weird way to get to a great place, but they better have Orton ready to come back against him because otherwise, this is going to be a really messy story.

Overall Rating: C. As tends to be the case around this time of year, the wrestling (outside of the opener) wasn’t the point here but the storytelling worked. Benoit coming over to Raw is a good idea as we’ve seen him face Lesnar already. The Foley story is very promising but is also walking a thin line. You can tell that it’s Wrestlemania season and if they stop giving Lawler so much time to yell about the Playboy thing, we could be in for a great road to New York.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – June 25, 2018: The Long, Long Day

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 25, 2018
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re getting closer and closer to Extreme Rules and that means we need to know who will be in the multi-man match for the right to face Brock Lesnar at Summerslam. Other than that we have an Intercontinental Title match tonight as new champion Dolph Ziggler (Huh?) faces Seth Rollins in a rematch from last week. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Kurt Angle and Baron Corbin are in the ring, but first we have to hear a lengthy introduction for all of Corbin’s job titles. Angle talks about the upcoming #1 contenders match but shifts towards a recent Facebook post from Paul Heyman, saying no one was worthy of facing Lesnar. Before he can make an announcement though, here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Bobby Lashley interrupts as well, with Reigns not being able to get to say anything.

Lashley says he wants Lesnar and Reigns has had three years of chances. That means it’s time to move on, but Reigns says Lashley moved on ten years ago. About ten years ago, Lashley was in the main event of Wrestlemania (well, pretty much) but then he decided to go to MMA and become famous. What has Lashley done around here since then? Reigns is the guy who has been main eventing Wrestlemania four years in a row and it’s going to be five. Lashley tells him not to disrespect his background but he’s ready for anyone Angle throws at him.

Angle says there was a snag in the details and the multi-man match is off at Extreme Rules. Reigns goes on a rant about Lesnar not wanting to be here unless he gets paid, but Lashley thinks Lesnar just wants a real challenge and is sick of seeing Roman’s face. Lashley: “Just like all these people here.” A challenge is issued and they’re ready to fight, but Angle says he’s willing to take a singles match between the two of them under advisement. Cue the Revival again though and we’re having a rematch from last week.

Revival vs. Roman Reigns/Bobby Lashley

Rematch from last week. Wilder gets sent outside to start and it’s a double shoulder to drop Dawson instead. A cheap shot from Wilder knocks Lashley into Reigns though and it’s Lashley, who loses the headband and reveals his rather large forehead, in trouble. More stomping in the corner doesn’t do much good for Revival as it’s quickly off to Reigns. That’s not very interesting to the announcers though so they read portions of Heyman’s Facebook post.

Reigns hits the apron boot on Wilder and we take a break. Back with Reigns in the same trouble Lashley was in earlier as Revival takes turns stomping away. The announcers talk about Lesnar some more as Wilder and Dawson talk trash and kick Reigns in the head. A Samoan drop gets Reigns out of trouble and it’s back to Lashley for that dreaded vertical suplex. It’s delayed and everything. Lashley loads up the spear but Reigns tags himself in for the Superman Punch to Wilder. Reigns loads up the spear but sidesteps a blind tag. Dawson’s charge hits Reigns but the distraction lets Wilder roll Reigns up at 13:03.

Rating: D+. Somehow, I’ll gladly take this, even if it might mean a third match next week and will mean nothing for the Revival because they’re not one of the featured tag teams at this point so they’re not going anywhere. Reigns and Lashley have some chemistry together as long as Lashley isn’t allowed to talk for very long, but their match might be a little rough.

Reigns and Lashley yell at each other.

Matt Hardy liked last week’s B Team parody, which he hasn’t seen done as well since he was sharing a tart with Bill Shakespeare. Bray Wyatt comes in and laughs about what the B Team did, promising consequences.

Matt Hardy vs. Curtis Axel

Before the match, the B Team parodies Matt and Bray again, this time choking on the smoke and lowering themselves with the lamp. They trade shots to the face to start with Matt putting him on the turnbuckle for more right hands to the jaw. A superplex doesn’t work for Matt as Curtis falls on top….for the pin at 1:54.

Post match Matt and Bray declare that a WONDERFUL win for the B Team.

Stills of last week’s Bayley vs. Sasha Banks incident.

The Authors of Pain (hey, they exist) shove a production guy and get talked down to by Titus Worldwide.

Bayley welcomes Alicia Fox back (uh, yay) but Angle comes in to tell Bayley that she and Sasha are teaming up again with Ember Moon against the Riott Squad. You can imagine Bayley’s reaction.

Authors of Pain vs. Rich Gibson/Rex Gibson

The Gibsons are in red and green, meaning the Authors are about to beat up some Christmas trees. They’re knocked/thrown to the floor in short order and the Last Chapter ends Rich at 1:03.

Titus Worldwide comes in to break up the post match beatdown.

Angle and Corbin are bickering in the back when Finn Balor and Braun Strowman come in. Braun talks about beating up Kevin Owens last week but now he wants to be his friend tonight. Therefore, it’s Braun/Owens vs. Balor/Corbin tonight. Yes they really are just taking the same people and shuffling them for different matches.

Long recap of Ronda Rousey going insane last week and beating down Angle and Alexa Bliss.

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

We look back at Ziggler cheating Rollins out of the Intercontinental Title last week.

Rollins promises to get the title back tonight.

The Riott Squad takes over a Jinder Mahal photo shoot and break the camera.

Sasha Banks/Bayley/Ember Moon vs. Riott Squad

Owens is worried about teaming with Strowman but Angle tells him not to worry.

No Way Jose vs. Mojo Rawley

Hang on though as Mojo doesn’t think much of having a rematch. You have to earn the right to come down the ramp to a WWE ring and neither Jose nor the conga line has done that yet. Mojo mocks a guy named Todd who is dressed like a cheeseburger, saying he’ll never get a WWE contract. We’re not having a match, but Mojo does deck Jose. No match, though Mojo continues to interest me.

Bayley tries to explain to Angle but gets sent to counseling next week instead. I rolled my eyes and sighed when I heard that, because it’s going to be bad.

Braun Strowman/Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor/Baron Corbin

Owens and Corbin start things off with Baron running him over without much effort. It’s off to Balor, who gets in one arm crank before Corbin tags himself back in. The chokebreaker is escaped and Owens tags Strowman in for a change. Corbin tries a kick to the ribs but gets punched in the face for his efforts. Strowman orders Owens to get back in and this time Balor gets to stay inside for more than a few seconds.

That means a quick chinlock on Balor but Corbin breaks up the Cannonball. Instead Strowman comes in and splashes Balor while Owens Cannonballs Corbin, sending us to a break. Back with Balor working on Owens’ arm until Corbin comes in for more of the same. Owens gets in a shot to the face and brings Strowman in, meaning things are going bad in a hurry. Strowman cleans house, including the forearm to Balor’s chest.

With Corbin and Balor on the floor, Strowman heads outside for the running shoulders, which he’s managed to get over quite well. Owens gets the tag and tries one of his own, only to have Corbin drop him with a clothesline. That’s not cool with Strowman, who sends Corbin into the barricade for ruining his fun. Back in and Corbin makes one too many blind tags, earning himself a kick to the head. Corbin breaks up Balor’s dive and they fight up the ramp for the countout at 11:41.

Rating: D+. The match was watchable, though swapping the people in and out isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world. It would be nice if these guys had something to fight over other than “well, they’ve been fighting for weeks”, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon because everything else (as in all two or three things they could fight over) are occupied. I’m sure we’ll see these guys together again soon.

Post match Owens celebrates with Strowman, who isn’t pleased. Strowman chases the terrified Owens off. Just announce Balor/Owens vs. Corbin/Strowman for next week already.

After a graphic for the Intercontinental Title match, Owens hides in a closet and Strowman interrogates people. Strowman: “THE GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE HE’S GOT A BOWLING BALL UNDER HIS SHIRT!”

Post break Owens has security escort him to the exist. Even as he leaves, he’s still looking for Owens but the valet doesn’t have his keys. Strowman beat him there of course….and has turned Owens’ car upside down.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Post match the beatdown is on until Roman Reigns makes the save. A Superman Punch puts McIntyre back on the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t know if it was the UK show earlier today wearing me down but this show felt like it was about 19 hours long with the especially long and not great main event not exactly helping things. I’m not sure where they’re heading with the major story, but I do appreciate the idea of a singles match instead of another multi-man match at the pay per view. Other than that, the show wasn’t too bad but it dragged a lot, which makes for a rough sit when there are two more shows tomorrow.

I’m worried about the lack of Lesnar though, as the entire rule book is thrown out the window when he’s involved. While I don’t think they’re crazy enough to just let him vacate the title and never come back, they’re dumb enough to go with something really bad at Summerslam that is nowhere near as good as it should be. In other words, just get the Lesnar vs. Reigns graphics back up again.

Results

Revival b. Roman Reigns/Bobby Lashley – Rollup to Reigns

Curtis Axel b. Matt Hardy – Crossbody

Authors of Pain b. Rick Gibson/Rex Gibson – Last Chapter to Rich

Natalya b. Alexa Bliss – Sharpshooter

Riott Squad b. Bayley/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon – Small package to Banks

Kevin Owens/Braun Strowman b. Baron Corbin/Finn Balor via countout

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Drew McIntyre interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – January 19, 2004: A Battle Royal To Make You Want To See A Battle Royal

IMG Credit: WWE.com

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 19, 2004
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for the Royal Rumble and that means one final push for Shawn Michaels vs. HHH, which is always going to get more attention than the match the show is named after. Hopefully it’s a little better than last week’s build which droned on and on without actually adding anything. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Coach is in the back with a bunch of wrestlers who will be in the Royal Rumble on Sunday. Since he’s in charge tonight, Coach is going to have a battle royal tonight with the winner getting the number thirty spot. However, you have to qualify for the battle royal by winning your regular matches tonight. If there is any interference, you’re out of the Rumble entirely. Reason #1 why Coach is better at this than Bischoff: this took less than three minutes rather than the ten it would have likely taken Bischoff in the arena.

Opening sequence.

Booker T./Rob Van Dam vs. Christian/Matt Hardy

The Matt Facts are back and it turns out that he loves Mongolian BBQ’s and his counter tops are all granite. That could help for future gifts. Rob flips over Matt to start and scores with a spinning kick to the face for an early two. Booker comes in to punch Christian a bit and a backdrop makes things even worse. A trip from the floor lets Matt pull Booker outside for a beating, allowing Christian to grab the neck crank. Makes sense after the Tombstone last week. Matt comes in with a neck crank of his own as JR and King critique Booker’s rap song.

The fans tell Christian that he sucks and they seem very pleased when Booker kicks him out of the air. Van Dam comes in off the hot tag and a standing moonsault gets two on Matt. Rolling Thunder hits knees though and Matt puts his feet on the ropes for two of his own. The villains try a double backdrop so it’s a double ax kick from Booker, setting up the Five Star to give Van Dam the pin on Matt, putting Booker and Van Dam in the battle royal.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match to put some fan favorites into the main event tonight. Christian and Matt are a pretty random team but it’s not like Booker and Van Dam have anyone else of note to beat. Granted it’s not like the match means anything as it’s all about the main event anyway so it’s hard to get too annoyed.

Remember how WWE hyped up Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner last week? Well now Test has been added to make it a triple threat.

Chris Jericho vs. Rene Dupree

Coach is on commentary. Dupree gets in an early hiptoss to set up the French dancing, only to have the fans start up a Jericho chance. Dancing haters. Jericho dropkicks him outside but Dupree dropkicks him out of the air back inside. They exchange abdominal stretches and more dancing just annoys Jericho. He knocks Dupree away and does his own dance, setting up the bulldog into the Lionsault. Dupree’s knees are up and a Death Valley Driver gets two. Not that it matters as the Walls make Dupree tap without much trouble so we’ll see Jericho later tonight.

Rating: C. It’s kind of amazing how much better Dupree is when he has someone like Jericho out there to walk him through a match. Believe it or not, one of the best of all time is capable of putting anyone into a good match and that’s what happened here. Jericho’s face turn is starting to take hold and that should be a good thing going forward.

The Friends and Supporters of Mick Foley air their Foley isn’t a hardcore legend ad, which is still funny.

Christian asks Jericho to use his Survivor Series favor to get into the battle royal but that’s not happening. That sounds like something that’s going to matter later.

Video on HHH vs. Shawn Michaels, who used to be best friends but then HHH became all evil. Then they had a long feud with some traded wins and then Shawn pinned him on the last Raw of the year but it didn’t count. Now we’re having a Last Man Standing match. Now why does that need such a long recap?

Rico vs. Mark Henry

Rico wastes no time in spanking Mark and even throws in a kiss to Teddy Long. Back in and Henry runs him over, setting up the nerve hold. Rico fires up with some kicks but misses something off the top. The World’s Strongest Slam sends Henry to the battle royal.

Flair gives Evolution a pep talk for Sunday.

Classic Royal Rumble moment: Maven eliminates Undertaker in 2002.

Kane vs. Spike Dudley

Spike tries to come off the top and gets choked a lot. More choking in the corner has the referee pulling Kane off so Spike shoves the referee, who thinks Kane did it. That’s a DQ to send Spike to the battle royal.

Kane wrecks Spike post match.

House show videos.

Goldberg vs. Scott Steiner vs. Test

Test gets double teamed to start and the beatdown is on in a hurry. A double clothesline drops Test and Steiner and Goldberg punches away at Steiner in the corner. Test gets in a cheap shot from the floor though and Steiner gets two off a belly to belly suplex. There’s a double suplex to Goldberg but he avoids a clothesline, which hits Steiner instead.

The gorilla press powerslam plants Steiner but draws Test back in for the save. Test and Steiner argue over who gets to pin Goldberg until Steiner sends Test outside. A hot shot sets up the Steiner Recliner, only to have Test break it up. The spear and Jackhammer end Test, putting Goldberg in the battle royal.

Rating: D. Pick a triple threat that follows the exact same formula that we’ve seen dozens of times. There was no need to make this a triple threat but if it was to protect us from having to see Steiner go one on one, he can’t get out of here fast enough. Also, what would it say if Test is brought in to protect you?

We get a new Mick Foley ad, calling him a coward and a scared little girl. Randy Orton is a fearless superstar though.

Austin watches the ad, shakes his head, and rides through the back on the ATV very fast, nearly running over Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade.

Wrestlemania recall: the Brawl for All with the hilarious Bart Gunn knockout.

Here’s Austin for a chat. Austin gets straight to the point: Foley walked out of the company and then wouldn’t come fifteen minutes to the arena last week. That’s not the Foley that Austin knows and used to ride up and down the road with every night. They used to take the cheapest rental cars to the cheapest hotel rooms where they used to see who could make Diamond Dallas Page crack first. That’s not the Foley that Austin remembers so he wants Foley at the Rumble to beat up Orton once and for all. Austin toasts Foley, hoping that he’ll do the right thing.

Video on the launch party for the Originals CD. I could see the appeal of getting to meet Austin, Jericho and Trish among others.

Molly Holly and Trish get catty until Christian takes Molly’s place. He and Jericho had a great time last week on the road trip and Christian has some pictures on his phone to prove it. Jericho seemed to have some fun with a few good looking women. Trish was the last thing on his mind. Christian looks at his phone one more time, reminding him of the midgets.

Lita vs. Jazz

Not a battle royal qualifying match. The fans are already cheering for Lita so Jazz takes her down to the mat for some crossface shots. A monkey flip into some right hands have Jazz in trouble but she gets in a dropkick to the back of the head. Jazz’s chinlock doesn’t last long as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Foley. A spinning belly to back suplex sets up the reverse Twist of Fate but Long offers a distraction so Jazz can roll her up (with tights) for the pin.

Rating: D. That finish is getting very old and I don’t see things getting much better in the women’s division anytime soon. The fact that I saw Molly with the title about ten minutes ago and couldn’t remember who the champion was isn’t a good sign. They’re just going from feud to feud with no apparent direction and that gets old.

Hurricane is used to being the underdog and he’ll do it again tonight. He believes in himself though and that’s going to take him to the main event of Wrestlemania. That was a fired up promo.

We recap Foley not showing up last week.

Randy Orton vs. Hurricane

Non-title. Orton wastes no time in pounding Hurricane in the back, followed by a heck of a clothesline for two. A dropkick sets up a cravate but Hurricane fights up with a quick clothesline. Something like a reverse neckbreaker gets two on Orton and the high crossbody is good for the same. And never mind as the RKO ends Hurricane, wrapping up a short match with a lot packed in.

Post match Evolution comes out to gloat so Rosey comes in to keep an eye on his friend. The beatdown is on so the Dudleys make the real save but Orton saves Flair from going through a table. Coach comes in to yell and goes through it instead.

Henry talks trash to Jericho, who accuses him of eating moose vomit. Those are fighting words, with Henry promising to leave his “stank” on Trish. Henry: “And my stank smells good.”

Battle Royal

Rob Van Dam, Booker T., Goldberg, Chris Jericho, Randy Orton, Mark Henry

Spike is injured so we’re down to six men instead. Goldberg wastes no time in cleaning house until everyone gets together to beat him down. That includes a Five Star Frog Splash but Booker dumps Van Dam. Jericho gets rid of Booker seconds later, leaving Jericho and Orton to both skin the cat. Henry starts throwing people around and knocks Goldberg down but can only send Jericho to the apron.

A missile dropkick puts Henry down and Jericho dropkicks Goldberg’s knee out for good measure. Orton and Henry get together to toss Jericho and we’re down to three. Goldberg tries to fight back and spears Henry down but Orton makes the save. Instead Orton tries to do it himself so Goldberg knocks Henry out with a hard shoulder. Cue the rest of Evolution so Goldberg throws Orton onto the two of them for the win.

Rating: D-. Yeah that was pretty bad, with the win basically guaranteeing that you have no chance to win on Sunday. Goldberg is a good enough choice for the final spot as he can come in and wreck a few people before someone throws him out in the setup to a big angle. This was little more than a formality, though Orton did feel like he had a chance of winning.

Overall Rating: C. This was almost a stand alone show and it was very smart to not have Shawn Michaels and HHH on the show. There’s no need to waste time on that match after we spent so much time on it last week. The Rumble itself needed some build and it got the focus tonight, making this a better show than recent weeks but still nothing great.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – June 18, 2018: It’s Hard To Be An Olympic Gold Medalist

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 18, 2018
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s finally the night after Money in the Bank and therefore we now need to deal with the fallout of the briefcase. In this case that would be the men’s briefcase, which was won by Braun Strowman. However, we now have to wait for Brock Lesnar to grace us with his presence, which may not be until the build to Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Nia Jax vs. Ronda Rousey with Rousey having the title won until Alexa Bliss cashed in to win the title.

Kurt Angle is in the ring to introduce Bliss, whose title is sitting on a table. He hands her the title and announces that Nia is cashing in her rematch at Extreme Rules. Bliss thanks the fans for giving her the opportunity to rub it in our faces, which draws a WE WANT RONDA chant. It’s all about Bliss now so cue a ticked off Ronda but Angle gets in her way. Alexa laughs all of this off because everything she did was perfectly legal.

It’s obvious that Ronda is upset because the stories were all about Bliss last night. Now, Rousey is just irrelevant. That’s enough for Rousey, who runs over Angle and hits Bliss in the back with the briefcase. She beats Angle up with it as well and takes out some referees for good measure. One heck of a powerbomb drops Bliss through a table.

Post replays, Angle suspends Rousey for 30 days.

Post break, Rousey promises to be back in thirty days to take care of Bliss, champion or not.

Here’s Seth Rollins to talk about how far Elias took him last night. That’s what Seth wanted though, because it’s what it means to be the Intercontinental Champion. Let’s keep that going right now with an OPEN CHALLENGE.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler is challenging and there goes some of the energy. Rollins knocks him to the floor and we take a very early break. Back with Ziggler throwing him back inside and kicking at the knee. A whip into the corner turns Seth upside down for two and we hit the chinlock. Rollins fights up….and the USA Network goes out. The feed comes back in a commercial so we eventually come back to Ziggler taking the Fameasser.

A superkick gives Rollins two but Ziggler heads up top. Rollins catches him again and rolls through a high crossbody. The buckle bomb connects but Drew McIntyre offers a distraction, allowing Ziggler to roll him up with tights for the pin and the title at 18:26. Too much was missed by the outage but this was the same match you would expect from these two.

Post match Rollins yells at Ziggler and gets taken out by McIntyre.

McIntyre and Ziggler say that’s the first of many because they’re not like everyone else.

Bobby Roode vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins tries a backslide for two but gets caught in the Glorious DDT to make it 204 losses in a row at 43 seconds.

Stills of the men’s Money in the Bank match.

Here’s Braun Strowman to list off all the things he’s done, including playing a cello. This briefcase is the greatest though because he snatched the contract away from seven other men. Now all Brock Lesnar has to do is show up and Strowman will cash in. Cue a banged up Kevin Owens to say he wants to congratulate Strowman. That’s why he was trying to get everyone to side against Strowman: no one could stop him on their own.

Owens talks about how they could be a team together because Sami is out injured and Strowman had to get a ten year old to team with him at Wrestlemania. Maybe they do something for each other and then later on, Owens gets a title match at the new champion? Strowman shakes his hand and then loads up the powerslam but Owens bails. That’s a good feud for Strowman until Lesnar gets back.

Sasha Banks is upset in the back when Bayley comes in. She knows what Sasha is doing because she’s playing the ladder match over and over again in her head. Sasha admits that Bayley is right and agrees to team up to face the Riott Squad tonight. It’s a new beginning for them.

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Non-title but hang on a second as the B Team pops up on screen, doing some rather good impressions of Matt (Axel) and Wyatt (Dallas, who can sound eerily like his brother). Dallas says screw this because they’re the B Team and can beat anyone. They turn the lantern off but can’t figure out how to leave.

Matt and Bray are stunned so Slater and Rhyno jump them from behind. It’s a brawl to start until a Twist of Fate is blocked. Matt gets knocked into the corner but avoids a top rope right hand from Slater. The Side Effect allows the hot tag off to Bray for the running crossbody. Everything breaks down and the Kiss of Deletion ends Slater at 3:20.

Rating: D. Nothing match but it was a reason to have Matt and Bray in the arena for the goofy promo. Matt and Bray aren’t great champions but when they have the same teams around to beat up every few weeks, there’s only so far they can go. The B Team isn’t good but they’re at least funny, which is more than you can get from many teams today.

We recap Ronda snapping. That was a heck of a powerbomb.

Baron Corbin brings a phone to Angle so he can talk to Stephanie McMahon. Angle isn’t exactly thrilled and seems ready for a long lecture.

Back from a break with Angle still on the phone. He hears some big news and promises an announcement for tonight, but has to run something by Corbin first.

Jinder Mahal vs. Chad Gable

Before the match, Mahal says everyone must embrace change. If you let go of your anger, you will experience Shanti (which he talks about before his rocket push began last year). Mahal snaps at the bell and beats on Gable, who takes him down with some amateur stuff. A suplex drops Mahal on his head and a dropkick puts him on the floor. Back in and the moonsault gives Gable two but Mahal boots him in the face. The Khallas gives Mahal the pin at 2:28.

The Riott Squad breaks stuff in the back.

Special Olympics video.

Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Liv Morgan/Sarah Logan

Morgan and Bayley start things going with Liv driving her into the corner for the early tag off to Logan. Banks tags herself in and elbows Morgan in the face, only to have Bayley tag herself right back in. A Thesz press and some right hands have Logan in trouble and the Squad is down as we take a break. Back with the hot tag bringing Sasha in as everything breaks down. The double knees in the corner have Morgan in trouble but Logan gets in a cheap shot and Morgan rolls Banks up (with trunks) for the pin at 8:02.

Rating: D+. Just a match here but at least they’re going to be getting to the latest version of this split so they can finally have a match already. Banks taking the fall is fine here and it’s cool to have the Riott Squad getting somewhere for awhile. They need something to do, but at least they’re finding out how to play the characters better.

Post match Bayley tries to console Sasha but gets shoved down as Banks walks away again.

Back from a break with Sasha walking through the back and Bayley chasing after her. Banks doesn’t want to talk to her and the fight is on with Bayley being sent into a catering table.

Here’s Angle in the ring to announce that Lesnar will be defending his title again soon. Before he can announce any details here’s Roman Reigns to interrupt. Reigns says the next challenger is right in front of him. He wants to be the champion who defends the title every single week and Angle seems to agree, but here’s Bobby Lashley to interrupt. Lashley, after fumbling the name of who he’s talking about, says he’s seen Reigns try to beat Lesnar for three years now.

It’s time for Reigns to step aside so someone who can beat Brock beat Brock. Lashley can beat Reigns too but Angle says they both have a point. They’ll be having a multiman match at Extreme Rules for the title shot with more names being announced later. Cue the Revival of all people to say they’re tired of people demanding things all the time.

They want a match with Reigns and Lashley right now because a win over these two great singles wrestlers will catapult their careers to the next level. So in other words, we’re building to another multiman match for a future title shot? AFTER FIVE WEEKS OF MONEY IN THE BANK BUILD??? THAT’S REALLY THE BEST THING THEY CAN COME UP WITH???

Roman Reigns/Bobby Lashley vs. Revival

Reigns punches Dawson in the face to start and holds Dawson in place while arguing with Lashley. Dawson has some more luck with Lashley, meaning he gets in a single kick to the ribs before a pair of spinebusters put Revival down. A quick end around lets Dawson chop block Lashley and something like the Demolition Decapitator gets two. Dawson’s chinlock doesn’t last long as Lashley fights up and brings in Reigns to clean house. Superman Punches rock both of them but Lashley tags himself in and spears Wilder for the pin at 6:22.

Rating: D+. Bring back jobbers. Like please, bring them back so I don’t have to see something as painful as seeing the Revival treated like this. We have the B Team doing their comedy stuff while the best tag team NXT has ever had is stuck here doing jobs to push two people in a multi man match. I’m so glad NXT exists for just such an emergency.

Angle and Corbin run into Finn Balor, who wants to be in the #1 contenders match. Corbin laughs at him and a fight seems imminent but Owens comes in to say calm things down. Balor laughs at Owens for not realizing what’s right behind him, because Strowman is right there. Strowman says he’s here to look after Finn, and a tag match seems imminent.

AJ Styles is on the cover of WWE2K19.

We recap Angle’s rocky night.

No Way Jose vs. Mojo Rawley

Jose, with his neon green gear, punches Rawley down to start and dances. Back up and Rawley knees him in the ribs and hammers away. The chinlock doesn’t last long and Jose gets two off a flapjack. Rawley’s right hand in the corner sets up the fireman’s carry faceplant for the pin at 2:41. I could go for more of Rawley.

Post match Mojo says it’s about staying focused, not hyped.

Banks is leaving when Bayley comes up to her again and says she’s not done with her. Sasha drives away and Bayley throws a water bottle at the car.

Here’s Elias with his hair down to sing about how awesome he is and ask fans to wonder what would Elias do. He wants to be in the match at Extreme Rules and says his new catchphrase a lot.

Rollins says the loss is on him and invokes his rematch clause for next week.

Finn Balor/Braun Strowman vs. Baron Corbin/Kevin Owens

Owens is banged up but still able to take Balor into the corner for some kicks to the ribs to start. It’s off to Strowman though and the power begins, even with Corbin taking off his vest to make things serious. With the villains knocks to the floor, Strowman picks Balor up and throws him onto the two of them for a crash as we take a break.

Back with Corbin holding a chinlock before handing it off to Owens for one of his own. A backbreaker just hurts Owens’ knee so Corbin comes back in to punch Balor in the ribs. Balor gets sent to the floor and tries a springboard on the way back in, only to get knocked out of the air. The Deep Six gives Corbin two and it’s back to Owens. The beating continues until Strowman comes in without a tag, splashes Corbin, and throws Balor into the corner for the tag.

Strowman starts chasing Owens around the ring as he tends to do but this time Corbin dives off the apron to take him down. Everything breaks down and Strowman drops Corbin with a shot to the chest. The chase goes on again and this time Strowman plows through Owens to put him into the timekeeper’s area. The Coup de Grace is broken up though and the End of Days puts Balor away at 16:42.

Rating: D+. That would be your Coliseum Video random tag team match of the week and I’m not sure what the point is in having Corbin get the pin. The match felt like leftovers from the Money in the Bank build, which isn’t exactly inspiring stuff. At least they didn’t have Strowman take the fall, but I hope he’s not downgraded now that he has the briefcase.

Overall Rating: D. This show was on a roll to start with the hot Rousey angle and then fell down a hill with one not great angle and match after another. It felt like they were still out of steam from Money in the Bank and it showed here. I’m interested in some of the things we have coming up and Lesnar coming back, hopefully to drop the title and leave for good, has me intrigued. It just felt like they were trying to do too much here and it hurt the show a lot.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Seth Rollins – Rollup with a handful of tights

Bobby Roode b. Curt Hawkins – Glorious DDT

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Kiss of Deletion to Slater

Liv Morgan/Sarah Logan b. Sasha Banks/Bayley – Rollup to Banks

Roman Reigns/Bobby Lashley b. Revival – Spear to Wilder

Mojo Rawley b. No Way Jose – Fireman’s carry faceplant

Baron Corbin/Kevin Owens b. Finn Balor/Braun Strowman – End of Days to Balor

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – January 12, 2004: This Company Doesn’t Like Good Guys

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 12, 2004
Location: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 6,100
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

We’re closing in on the Royal Rumble and we’re finally starting to talk about the thing. Last week saw the first few names officially announced for the Royal Rumble match and we also have Shawn Michaels vs. HHH confirmed in a Last Man Standing match. Hopefully we get some more stuff added to the card, just to flesh things out a bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Coach comes out for commentary because we’re just that lucky.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Jazz/Molly Holly

Trish goes after Jazz on the floor, leaving Lita to monkey flip Molly to start things off. Jazz comes in instead and gets suplexed down, only to have Molly pull Lita off the top. Another distraction lets Molly work on the arm but Jazz isn’t interested in some double teaming, mainly due to their issues last week. I can always go for some continuity, even in small doses.

Jazz misses a splash and it’s off to Trish for the first time. Everything breaks down in a hurry and it’s a headlock takeover to Molly/headscissors to Jazz, followed by a spinebuster (a rarity from Trish) for two. Lita and Molly head to the floor but Theodore Long offers a distraction so Jazz can grab a rollup with tights for the pin.

Rating: D+. They were starting to get somewhere and then we had the same ending that happens far too often around here. The division still needs some fresh blood (Did Gail Kim fall into a hole or something?) and having these four fight again isn’t what’s going to make things any better.

Post match Long grabs Trish by the hair, drawing in Chris Jericho and Mark Henry for the save and beatdown.

Here’s Matt Hardy (oh yeah he’s on Raw) for a chat. Matt isn’t happy with everyone trying to steal his spotlight over the years and now Steve Austin is doing it too. Cue Austin on the ATV (with JR getting in the second usage of “Monday Night Raw is where you come to break the rules”, the new slogan, of the night) to make a lot of noise.

Austin talks about being here to enforce the law, which isn’t happening if you’re just getting beaten up. Now someone coming out here and running his mouth about getting nowhere, that’s breaking the law. He’s ready to beat Hardy up right now but Hardy wants fresh competition, and he’s wrestled Austin before. Austin: “I oughta write you a ticket for impersonating a wrestler.” Austin issues an open challenge for someone Matt has never faced before and it’s time for a match.

Matt Hardy vs. Bill Goldberg

Didn’t Eric Bischoff deactivate Goldberg for a while? Matt tries to jump him and gets shoved down for his efforts as JR recaps Goldberg being deactivated. A pumphandle suplex sends Hardy flying but he’s right back with a Side Effect for two. The Twist of Fate is countered into a gorilla press and the spear/Jackhammer complete the destruction.

Post match Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble. That’s the kind of name you need to be announced so good move.

In the back, Bischoff rants about Austin bringing Goldberg back but Austin says Bischoff never officially filed the paperwork to get rid of Goldberg. Well that’s quite the weak loophole. Bischoff relents but Austin can’t make matches going forward. I’m sure.

The Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton air the same ad from last week.

Orton has a seat waiting for Mick Foley in the front row if he’s willing to come the fifteen minutes from his house to the arena. Tonight can server as an example for what Foley can expect if he ever dares to come after Orton again.

D-Von Dudley vs. Batista

Batista wastes no time in jumping D-Von as JR talks about how unfair it is that Batista and Ric Flair are Tag Team Champions. A few shots to the head set up a suplex and a chinlock as Batista running a match isn’t the best idea in the world at this point. D-Von comes back with a jumping elbow and the top rope headbutt. It seems to have banged him up as well though and the Batista Bomb ends D-Von as Bubba and Flair fight on the floor.

Rating: D-. Can we really not just get two jobbers to be fed to Flair and Batista here instead of this one member vs. one member formula? D-Von isn’t exactly great on his own and Batista isn’t ready for a match like this, though at least he found something else to do besides the spinebuster and Batista Bomb. Just find a better way to advance feuds.

Orton is still waiting for Foley to arrive so he’s going to send a limo for him.

Long comes up to Jazz and Henry to explain how Bischoff set him up last week (“typical white man”) because he didn’t say how much power Austin really had around here. To make up for it, Henry gets Jericho later tonight.

Scott Steiner comes up to Goldberg and brings up their history in WCW. Steiner is in the Rumble as well and they’re fighting next week. Methinks this is a rare instance of WCW doing it far better.

Coach is in the ring to emcee a sitdown interview between HHH and Shawn Michaels. After Coach praises HHH and mocks Shawn during their entrances, we’re ready to go. Hang on a second though as Shawn throws the furniture out because this is man to man. Coach gets to the first topic of the DX days, which Shawn doesn’t seem interested in talking about. HHH says Shawn saw him as a sidekick but Shawn says they were equals.

That’s called out as nonsense (as it should be) and they get in an argument over who carried the wagon more. Shawn carried it until a broken back stopped him (and Steve Austin taking his place) but HHH carried it as soon as Shawn wasn’t there to take the spotlight. Apparently Shawn came back for reasons that HHH can never understand but HHH does understand: it was jealous because Shawn had to prove that he was the better man.

That brought them right here to this arena where Shawn proved that he was the better man in a street fight. HHH says Shawn won but got carried out while HHH was on his feet. This has always been about who is the best and it’s coming full circle again. HHH says he’s the ultimate student of this game and he’s studied everyone. Shawn is at the top of the list and there are only a few people who can be up there with him. As good as he is though, HHH is that much better.

That brings us to the title (after spending seven minutes arguing about everything else), which some people say either of them should hold. That ends at the Rumble and it might come down to just one second. All it’s going to take is one second for HHH to prove that he’s the champion and the best. Shawn likes that one second idea and superkicks Coach to show how fast it can be. As usual with HHH’s big promos, this was much longer and slower than it needed to be and didn’t tell us much of anything that we didn’t already know. You don’t have to sell HHH vs. Shawn this hard and they could have used this time better elsewhere.

And now, an ad for Heat. Ok then.

Booker T. vs. Kane

Post match Kane stays on him but misses a chair shot. He settles for a Tombstone instead.

Another anti-Foley ad questions his status as a hardcore legend, showing clips of his comedy stuff. These things have been funny.

Foley still isn’t here.

Mark Henry vs. Chris Jericho

Henry has Long and Jazz in his corner. Jericho goes right up to him and is forearmed in the back for his efforts. A missed charge puts Henry on the floor and a baseball slide rocks him down again. Henry gets in a whip to the steps but Jericho sends him into the corner back inside. The missile dropkick gets two with the kickout powering Jericho way off. Henry bends him back first over the knee for a bit before switching to a bearhug.

Jericho slips out and dropkicks the knee but the Walls are quickly broken up. The bulldog literally pulls Henry’s hair out but Jazz grabs Jericho’s foot to stop the Lionsault. That earns her a beating from an invading Trish and Jericho somehow gets the Walls. The women get in the ring so the referee misses Henry tapping, which of course draws Long to the apron. Jericho lets go and it’s the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the pin.

Rating: D+. Henry is getting watchable after a few weeks of practice as he’s just there to stand in one place and show off the power while the smaller and more talented wrestlers do most of the work. That’s a good place for Henry and as long as they treat him like a monster, he can be a useful human.

Post break Christian yells at Jericho for wasting his time on Trish and says they’re going to hit up the town tonight and get her off his mind. They leave and Trish comes in, looking upset that she missed him.

Evolution is talking about Foley when Austin runs up on the ATV. In tonight’s main event, they better leave Orton alone in the main even. They don’t seem to buy it so Austin chases them with the ATV before stopping to spin in circles.

Foley still isn’t here.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Orton vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is challenging and makes the mistake of chasing Orton, who stomps him back to the floor. That’s fine with Rob, who is right back in with a spinwheel kick to put Orton on the floor this time. Orton gets posted and looks a bit dead before coming up with a busted forehead. Rob hits the spinning kick to Orton’s back, knocking him into the empty chair….as the limo pulls up in the back.

We come back from a break with Orton in control in the corner and shoving Van Dam off the top for a heck of a crash into the barricade. Back in and Orton keeps him down with a bodyscissors, including some growling trash talk. As you might expect, the fans want Foley but have to settle for Van Dam elbowing Orton in the face. Orton is right back with an over the shoulder backbreaker into a neckbreaker (I’ve always liked that move) and it’s off to a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back.

It’s back to the bodyscissors but this time Orton spices it up a bit by ripping at Van Dam’s face. Good grief that thing has been on for almost five minutes now. Do something else. Rob fights up and gets two off a northern lights suplex. A springboard kick to the face seems to completely miss but a camera angle bails them out (which doesn’t happen nearly as often these days).

Rolling Thunder and a springboard moonsault give Rob two each (in case you thought Orton did those things) but Orton knees him in the face. There’s the ref bump and the low blow cuts Van Dam down. Orton then lays down and yells at the referee to wake up before trying the RKO. I have no idea what the point of the laying down was but Rob uses the delay to kick Orton in the face. He gets crotched on top though and the hanging DDT from the top retains the title.

Rating: D+. This really was longer than it needed to be with the bodyscissors dragging the match out and the ref bump going nowhere. Van Dam should be done as a challenger now and that clears the way for whatever they have to do to get us to Foley vs. Orton. That’s Van Dam’s best role in the company: a short term champion who can lose the title to a hot prospect heel and give them a rub in a rematch.

Foley never showed up and we didn’t see who was in the limo.

Overall Rating: D. It’s another night with the heels dominating as Jericho, Booker T. and Van Dam all losing and the Foley tease going nowhere. Oh but we did get a LONG chat between Shawn and HHH, which is what the world was waiting for. They’re adding a few names into the Rumble but they’ve done a rather boring job of getting us there. At least we still have Austin vs. Bischoff, no matter what Austin’s new official job title is. Bad, dry show here as the heels continue to run everything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – June 11, 2018: Coasting All The Way To The Break

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 11, 2018
Location: Verizon Arena, Little Rock, Arkansas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with all eight Money in the Bank participants in the ring on ladders (with Braun Strowman WAY in the air). Cue Kurt Angle to explain the Money in the Bank concept but here’s a now bald Baron Corbin to interrupt. He threatens Angle with Stephanie McMahon and the eight participants start to bicker over who is going to win.

Natalya insists that she’s healthy to go and Owens goes on a rant about how unfair it is for Strowman to be so tall. Roode: “Owens, do you want the briefcase lowered to your height?” Owens: “That sounds like a great idea!” Strowman cuts them off and says he’s going to win. Bliss screeches a lot and the women start saying their Mixed Match Challenge partners are going to win. Strowman says someone is going to get these hands on Sunday. This was a big waste of time, but so is most everything else they do around Money in the Bank time.

Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya vs. Ember Moon vs. Sasha Banks

Sasha flips onto Natalya but Moon hits a SCARY suicide dive to drive Banks into the barricade. Bliss steals the near fall and we take a break. Back with Bliss clearing the ring and working on Natalya’s knee until Banks comes back in for some clotheslines. Moon is back in for some knees to the face but Bliss gives her a Code Red for two. The Meteora gives Banks the same and we go split screen for a Ronda Rousey vs. Nia Jax video. This show really is everything I can’t stand about modern WWE wrapped together.

Back to full screen with Twisted Bliss hitting knees as we take a break. We come back with Natalya breaking up the Bank Statement on Bliss but hurting her knee in the process. She’s fine enough to put Banks in the Sharpshooter until Moon makes the save with a superkick. The Eclipse drops Natalya but Bliss makes another save. Banks comes in and gets knocked out again, leaving Natalya to make Bliss tap to the Sharpshooter at 20:39.

Rating: C+. The match was the same batch of diving saves and near falls that they all are, which means it was at least entertaining. What it wasn’t though was meaningful in any way as this has nothing to do with giving you an advantage in a ladder match. Then again, that’s never stopped WWE before because they came up with this blueprint years ago and haven’t changed it a bit since.

We run down the pay per view card.

Owens comes in to see Balor and brings some olives (Owens: “I didn’t have an olive branch.”). He wants an alliance on Sunday because someone like Strowman could hold the title forever. Maybe the two of them and Bobby Roode could take out Strowman tonight so he doesn’t even make the ladder match. Owens: “Enjoy the olives.”

Breezango vs. Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

Ziggler jumps Breeze, who has a beard for some reason, as Cole tries to say that he thinks Ziggler and McIntyre can be former Tag Team Champions. McIntyre comes in for a hard shot to the face but an enziguri gets Breeze out of trouble. The hot tag brings in Fandango, who gets dropped in short order. McIntyre powerbombs Breeze onto Fandango and brings Ziggler back in for the superkick. The Zig Zag/Claymore combination ends Fandango at 3:17.

Rating: D+. Just a squash win for Ziggler and McIntyre, even if Ziggler still doesn’t need to be there. I’m hoping this team is split up before too long as every day that McIntyre isn’t pushed as a single star is a waste of time. He’s a top level star in the making and he’s stuck with Ziggler, who hasn’t been able to make anything stick for years.

Post match McIntyre says this is the proof of how great they are. This isn’t just hype so every team in the bank can know what’s coming. They’re here to make the tag team division right, and they’ll do that by winning the titles.

Roman Reigns says Jinder Mahal has earned this whipping by being stupid. Tonight it’s time to deliver a receipt. It’s almost eerie that he’s a little more tolerable with Mahal just because he’s not chasing the title again.

Jinder Mahal vs. Roman Reigns

Before the match, Mahal talks about wanting to see Reigns laying on the mat this Sunday with Mahal’s hand raised in victory. Reigns comes out but hang on because Mahal has Singh get in the ring too. See, Mahal challenged Reigns to a match, but he never said it would be with him, so it’s Singh instead. I had that written down before Mahal even came to the ring because it would be the most annoying, cliched thing they could do.

Roman Reigns vs. Sunil Singh

Superman Punch and spear in 1:11.

Post match Mahal gives Reigns the Khallas.

B Team vs. Rhyno/Heath Slater

Axel and Slater start with Bo dropping some knees for an early two. That means we’re already in the chinlock until Slater fights up in short order. Rhyno gets knocked off the apron and a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combination is good for the pin on Slater at 1:42.

Post match Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy appear on screen to say they’re here. By that they mean on the stage where they know the B Team is scared. Matt threatens to eat them.

Here’s Elias for the song. This is the last performance before he wins the Intercontinental Title so he needs to be able to concentrate. The song mocks Seth’s nicknames and his training (“Seth Freaking Rollins. Am I supposed to think that’s cool? And I get it, you do CrossFit, so I definitely know that you are a tool.”), going on longer than any other song he’s ever done. Elias even has a special guitar, painted up like the Intercontinental Title. It was given to him by John Mayer and next week it’s going to look great with his new title.

Cue Rollins to chase him off and yells about everything Elias has done in recent weeks. Rollins thinks Elias is cool with the spotlight and the guitars….as he looks at the custom guitar. He teases breaking it but instead says this seems like the perfect time for a charity auction. Elias offers to bid on it so Rollins puts the guitar on the mat and gives it the Stomp. Coach: “That was from one of the greatest hip hop artists of our generation!” Corey calls him out for stupidity so Coach says that John Mayer and Jay-Z (I guess he thinks Jay-Z plays guitar) are the same thing.

Owens tries to get Roode on his side tonight too.

The Riott Squad makes a big mess in the back on their way to the ring.

Ruby Riott vs. Bayley

Back with Bayley being sent face first into the middle buckle and Riott grabbing an armbar. Thirty seconds after a full break, we go to a split screen for another MITB ad. Bayley fights up with a whip into the corner but a running knee bangs up her bad shoulder. The top rope elbow missing makes things even worse and Ruby rolls her up for two. Back up and the Squad offers a distraction, allowing Riott to send Bayley shoulder first into the post. The Riott Kick is good for the pin at 11:28.

Rating: D+. That missed slide in the corner was a big problem, along with how there wasn’t much of a reason to have these women fight. This one was more about filling in time on a show where they don’t have much else to do. It’s sad to see how far Bayley has fallen in about a year, but never let it be said that WWE can’t turn someone with potential into one of their standard performers.

Post match Ruby draws an R on Bayley’s stomach with a marker.

Natalya tells Ronda Rousey to look out for Nia Jax tonight.

Here’s Coach to moderate a face to face showdown between Rousey and Jax (the second time since the match was announced). Nia says they’re both elite athletes and she’s purposely pushed Rousey’s buttons over the last few weeks. Rousey has a lot of great things about her but she’s still very new in WWE. Her success came from outside of WWE and there are some different rules around here. Nia lists off some things in MMA that you can’t do around here and promises a demonstration on Sunday. Rousey says she improvises and on Sunday she’ll improvise Nia’s arm off.

Nia points out that Rousey’s one match was against a businesswoman who competes part time (and HHH, who Stephanie has apparently absorbed) and it’s clear that Nia isn’t ready. That’s too much for Rousey, who lists off all the times where she’s been told she wasn’t ready and all the times she’s proven them wrong. Rousey: “I am Ronda Rousey and I was born ready.”

Curt Hawkins vs. No Way Jose

Roode and Balor aren’t sure who to trust in the four way.

Video on a Special Olympian who does powerlifting. Nothing wrong with that.

Back from a break and we’ve got an obstacle course, which Sami Zayn has set up to prove that Bobby Lashley used to be in the army. Simply put, if Lashley can complete the course faster than Sami, he’ll prove himself. Sami goes over the entire course and has heard that Green Berets can do this in about two minutes. He did it in a minute and a half earlier today, with a bad hand and no warmup.

Lashley comes out and promises to win because we’re actually doing this. Renee Young flips a coin and Lashley gets to go first. Lashley finishes with ease in 42 seconds, even though the clock keeps going. Of course Sami jumps him from behind and hits a Helluva Kick as soon as Lashley gets down. I can’t begin to fathom how the meeting went when this was set up.

The trio keeps planning when Strowman comes in and tells them to team up on him.

Finn Balor vs. Bobby Roode vs. Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman clears the ring to start and we take an early break. Back with Strowman getting triple teamed and Owens asking who the monster is now. Strowman fights them off again as the announcers make their picks for Sunday. For some reason Owens tries a cheap shot on Strowman and then bails to the floor, which has gone so well for him with Strowman for months now. Strowman shrugs off Balor and Roode so he can chase Owens to the back. The chase doesn’t last long as Strowman throws him back through the entrance and it’s monster time.

Balor joins them on stage and gets sent into the set, leaving Strowman to load up the announcers’ table. Roode is back up with a ladder and some shots to the ribs have Strowman in trouble. They put Strowman on the table and Owens climbs a table for a big frog splash. Back from another break with Owens and Strowman down, leaving us with the not very thrilling Roode vs. Balor match.

Both guys go down so let’s hit that split screen Rousey vs. Jax ad. Balor kicks him out to the floor before hitting the Sling Blade back inside. Owens is back in to break up the Coup de Grace but Balor knocks him off the top. The required Tower of Doom puts everyone down and Strowman is on his feet. Roode and Balor get knocked down so Strowman catches Owens going into the crowd.

Back at ringside, the injured Strowman runs them all over but Balor manages to get some boots up in the corner. A top rope double stomp to back staggers Strowman again so he shoulders Balor down to get a breather. Roode and Owens get back together on Strowman until Owens rolls him Roode up for two. Balor hits the Sling Blade on Strowman and there’s the shotgun dropkick. There’s the Coup de Grace with Roode making the save because this just can’t end.

Roode hits the Glorious DDT on Strowman but Owens makes the save. Another frog splash gets two on Strowman so let’s bring in a ladder. Well if Owens could do this before, why did he wait so long? Strowman absorbs two shots to the ribs and chokeslams Owens (Owens: “I’M SORRY!”). The powerslam onto the ladder ends Owens at 25:57.

Rating: C-. The Balor vs. Roode part really hurt this but the bigger problem is the booking of Strowman. Looking at what happened to him in this match, why in the world would I believe that anyone can beat him in a singles match? Brock beat him clean but unless Lesnar returns from his spring and summer vacation early, there’s nothing for Strowman to do and with no one who could beat him (save for Roman of course), we’re stuck sitting around waiting on something for Strowman to find something to do or for him to cool off. What a great way to use a guy who only gets over like this every few years at best.

Overall Rating: D. This felt like a sandwich with the ladder matches as the bread and whatever else they could find filling out the middle. It’s not a bad show but it’s really, really boring as it was as much talk about Money in the Bank as I can handle. That’s how you’re supposed to do a go home show but it doesn’t have the same effect when they’ve been doing the same thing for five weeks now. This show is dying for something fresh but odds are we’re just stuck waiting around until the build to Summerslam at this point. At least Sunday can get us on to something different and I’ll take what I can get right now.

Results

Natalya b. Alexa Bliss, Ember Moon and Sasha Banks – Sharpshooter to Bliss

Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre b. Breezango – Zig Zag/Claymore combination to Fandango

B Team b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Belly to back suplex/neckbreaker to Slater

Ruby Riott b. Bayley – Riott Kick

No Way Jose b. Curt Hawkins – Pop up right hand

Braun Strowman b. Finn Balor, Kevin Owens and Bobby Roode – Powerslam onto a ladder to Owens

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – January 5, 2004: It Was Old Last Year

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 5, 2004
Location: Pyramid, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s a new year and my goodness it couldn’t come soon enough. While the last match of 2003 was an instant classic, it was a very rare sight to see on the red show. With two shows left to go before the Royal Rumble, it’s time to hit the gas but I’m worried about how much we’ll be hearing about Shawn Michaels vs. HHH. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Eric Bischoff complains to Coach about Steve Austin being the new Sheriff. This would be the recap for the fans who weren’t watching last week. Teddy Long and Mark Henry come in with Mark saying he has his Survivor Series favor picked (Hasn’t he cashed that in twice already?): Teddy Long gets to be GM for tonight only. Teddy isn’t worried about Austin because he has Johnny Cochran on speed dial.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Teddy to say fans are uncomfortable with a black man in charge. He goes into a rant about the Mayor of Memphis being black but the city still being racist. As expected, Jerry Lawler gets offended and grabs the mic, only to take the RKO from Randy Orton right before he gets his hands on Teddy.

In the back, Orton brags to Long about what he just did but Henry comes in and says he wants the Intercontinental Title tonight. Teddy makes the match but they run into Austin, who says not so fast. It should be Rob Van Dam getting his rematch, though Teddy says he’s already made the match. Instead, Austin makes it Henry vs. Van Dam for a title shot next week. As you might have guessed, it’s Austin vs. Bischoff all over again, but with less hair.

Coach comes out to replace Lawler, complete with an LSU (who defeated Oklahoma in a bowl game over the weekend) chair.

Spike Dudley vs. Rene Dupree

This is Spike’s return after La Resistance dropped him head first onto the edge of a table a few months back. Rene throws him around to start and drops him with a delayed suplex for a delayed two. We hit the neck crank as this is one sided so far, meaning Spike is likely to win the thing. As expected, Spike fights to his feet and gets a rollup pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D-. The whole match was spent talking about college football, which isn’t the most thrilling thing in the world on a wrestling show. That being said, it’s a lot better than talking about Spike vs. Dupree, which is one of the worst things they could have put on the show here. You’re on the first show of the year and your opening match is Spike Dudley? It’s not a good sign for the year.

Post match the Dudley Boyz come out to celebrate but Evolution, who is defending against the Dudleys later tonight, lay them out on the stage and ramp.

Trish Stratus sings on the WWE Originals album.

Christian comes in to make amends with Chris Jericho over the Trish ordeal and wants to be friends again. Jericho actually accepts and Christian actually has a tag match set up for them next. That sounds swervish.

Video on HHH vs. Shawn from last week.

Lawler wants his spot back but Long comes out and makes it a three man booth to prevent the unfair removal of another black man.

Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Hurricane/Rosey

Rosey clotheslines Christian to start as Coach suggests that JR become a Superhero In Training. Hurricane comes in and gets to speed things up on Jericho but some kicks in the corner cut him off. A low bridge sends Hurricane outside and he throws himself into the steps (it looked horrible) to really put the Canadians in trouble.

Back in and we hit the choking until a double DDT gets Hurricane out of trouble. It’s off to Rosey for a Samoan drop on Christian and a double clothesline to both Canadians, even as he loses his mask. Hurricane dives onto Jericho and a swinging belly to belly gives Rosey two. Christian sends him into the post though and Jericho posts Rosey’s head, setting up the reverse DDT to give Christian the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick way to establish that the Canadians are on the same page again. It’s not like Hurricane and Rosey are the most important team in the world and given that there’s no way Evolution is going to lower themselves to face the two of them, it’s not like this means anything.

We look back at the Dudley Boyz beatdown earlier.

Steven Richards vs. Test

Richards has beaten Test a few times on Heat. Test wastes no time in hitting on Victoria before sending Richards shoulder first into the post. We hit the armbar and Victoria turns into a cheerleader, which has Coach and King agreeing to the fact that she’s good looking. Victoria breaks up the pumphandle slam but a hard full nelson slam drops Richards. Test tries the running big boot on Victoria but crotches himself, allowing Richards to roll him up for the pin. Not bad while it lasted actually.

Post match Test boots Victoria in the face and gets beaten down by a livid Richards.

Here’s Sheriff Austin for a chat. Austin wants to talk about the Royal Rumble but here’s HHH to interrupt. HHH thinks Austin has lost his mind (fair) and mocks the whole Sheriff concept. We get some references to old TV sheriffs and deputies in the required southern yokel accent. HHH sees Austin’s badge and that’s just too much for him. Where are the little cap guns and the big hat?

Austin cuts him off with the threat of a Stunner or stripping him of the title or even mocking his clothes. The Stone Cold law will be upheld and that means it’s time for Shawn Michaels to get a rematch after having HHH pinned last week. HHH wants to know what it’s going to take to get it through his head but here’s Shawn to interrupt. The fans are VERY pro Shawn as he wants HHH to prove it one more time. Austin makes the rematch at the Royal Rumble and let’s make that Last Man Standing, just for fun. A quick Pedigree lays Shawn out.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

Victoria was scheduled to challenge Molly here but the big boot meant we needed a replacement (with Teddy saying we need two white girls fighting) and now it’s non-title. Molly knocks her off the apron to start and hits a low dropkick for two back inside. It’s already off to the chinlock for a bit until Trish fights up with some forearms. The Stratusphere sets up a rollup for two and Trish goes up, only to have Jazz come out and shove her off for the DQ.

Jazz beats Molly up too but Jericho runs in for the save. Trish isn’t happy and leaves alone because she’s not falling for this again.

And now, a paid announcement from Friends and Supporters of Randy Orton, who think Mick Foley is a coward. It’s almost a political ad and that’s kind of funny.

Wrestlemania moment: Kane and Pete Rose.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mark Henry

The winner gets Orton for the Intercontinental Title next week. Henry shoves them around to start so it’s time to start in on the knee. A sliding dropkick to the head stuns Henry but he’s right back up with a powerslam. Henry gets kicked to the floor and that means the moonsault from the apron. That’s enough for Long, who hands Henry a chair for the knockout shot and the DQ.

Long says it’s a No DQ match so we restart things. Cue Austin on an ATV (with Long doing a hilarious face as if to say “I can’t be seeing this. Playa.”) to chase Long around the ring and up the ramp. Then the image is ruined as they go to the back with Austin driving through the entrance and Long being seen standing there.

Back from a break with Rob getting choked on the ropes and Henry hitting a running crotch attack. Henry puts Rob on top but gets caught in something like a triangle choke to really cut him down. Rolling Thunder sets up another Rolling Thunder for two and Rob skateboards the chair into Henry’s face. That just ticks Henry off so Rob goes with the Van Daminator into a Five Star for the pin.

Rating: D. Not counting the commercial, this might have been five and a half minutes long with the break in the middle. Van Dam winning was the obvious ending and the Austin vs. Long stuff wasn’t really necessary. The break in the middle really hurt what could have been a decent high flier vs. power match as Henry is starting to settle into his role, even if he almost never wins anything.

Post match Austin chases Long back to the ring and gives him a Stunner. That’s a little excessive but beer is consumed anyway.

Jericho tries to talk to Trish, but she’s in the shower. He talks about how much he really cares about her and yeah it started as a bet, but he fell for her along the lines. Jericho has real feelings for her….and it’s actually Mae Young, who of course is in a towel, which is opened. I believe they know where they want to go with this story, but they’re taking some very questionable roads to get there.

Here’s Kane for a chat. He talks about the Royal Rumble (oh yeah that’s a thing) which he has never won. Over the years he should have won them all but he was always worried about being cheered by the insects. Then last year he trusted someone, which gives us a clip of Undertaker throwing him out last year. That will never happen again because Undertaker is gone. Last week he attacked Booker T. because Booker got Kane’s World Title shot at Wrestlemania. This year he’ll win the Rumble but here’s Booker for the fight to clear Kane out. Booker enters the Rumble as well and promises to get rid of Kane in the process.

Tag Team Titles: Batista/Ric Flair vs. Dudley Boyz

Evolution is defending and the Dudleys are coming in banged up. D-Von slugs away at Batista to start but gets powered into the corner. Bubba comes in for a running corner splash and a middle rope crossbody of all things gets two. Some right hands drop Flair and that means a WOO and a strut, just to rub some salt in the always possibly soon to open wounds. There’s another corner splash into the side slam for two but it’s quickly off to Batista to take over.

It’s time to start in on the knee and the Figure Four goes on. Batista cranks on the leg with Bubba crawling to the corner for the tag….which isn’t seen thanks to a Flair distraction. A single kick to the ribs allows the real tag to D-Von, who wastes no time in powerslamming Flair to take over. Everything breaks down with Batista being sent the floor, leaving Bubba to punch Flair several times. What’s Up and the 3D connect but here’s HHH for a distraction, allowing Batista to powerbomb D-Von. The unconscious Flair get the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. They made Batista look like a bigger deal and Flair can do the wrestling while the Dudleys are always good for at least a solid performance. If nothing else we might get some fresh challengers now, even if there aren’t any major teams ready to go after the titles.

Post match Shawn comes back in to superkick HHH to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. While not as boring as the shows from last year, this wasn’t exactly thrilling stuff. With almost no focus on the Rumble with less than three weeks to go, we got a lot of Austin vs. Long stuff which is just filler until we’re back to Austin vs. Bischoff, which was the longest running story of 2003. They need to find something fresh and Shawn vs. HHH, which good enough, doesn’t fit that description.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw – June 4, 2018: Well Duh. Why Would You Think That Would Work?

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 4, 2018
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, David Otunga

We’re less than two weeks away from Money in the Bank and that means it’s time to probably hit the brakes with the Money in the Bank build. That’s the case tonight as we have Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens and Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Roode. Oh and we get to find out who is next up to challenge Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Elias, who carries wind in his fists and a guitar across his chest. It should be no surprise that Elias is the first face you see tonight because he is the most valuable asset. When he wins the Intercontinental Title, everyone will know what WWE stands for. Sure he attacked Rollins last week, but imagine how Elias felt. That was one of his favorite guitars!

We see some different angles of Rollins being hit with the guitar last week and here’s Rollins in person to interrupt. Rollins pulls out a chair and it’s a standoff until one shot knocks the guitar out of Elias’ hands. Elias starts to panic but here’s Jinder Mahal for the beatdown. Cue Roman Reigns (to a positive reaction, as Mahal is that bad) for the save and Kurt Angle comes out to make the tag match RIGHT NOW.

Jinder Mahal/Elias vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins

We get the multiple tags and switches before any contract and it’s the Shield guys getting violent early on. Rollins dives onto Mahal and we settle down to Reigns coming in (and there are the boos) to elbow Mahal in the face. Elias comes in and takes Rollins down for a chinlock, which doesn’t exactly look painful. A missed knee drop isn’t enough for the tag to Reigns but a missed charge from Mahal certainly is.

The ten corner clotheslines rock Mahal but everyone heads to the floor. The apron dropkick is knocked out of the air by an Elias ax handle and we take a break. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock but getting punched in the corner for his efforts. To mix things up a bit, Mahal comes in for a chinlock of his own and Elias gets two off a knee drop. Mahal grabs ANOTHER chinlock as we might as well have a clock counting how much time they’ve killed so far.

Reigns “creates separation” with a Samoan drop and it’s off to Rollins so things can finally have some energy. A Blockbuster and Falcon Arrow give Rollins two each and there’s a Superman Punch to Mahal. The apron dropkick hits Elias but Sunil Singh’s distraction breaks up the Stomp.

Reigns takes care of him so Mahal throws Reigns over the barricade. An enziguri puts Elias down and Rollins dives into Mahal, only to hit the barricade head first. Singh loads up a chair but gets chased into the ring, allowing Elias to DDT Rollins onto the chair. The referee looks at him do it and even yells at him, but counts the three off Drift Away at 17:38. I’d love to see the rules for a DQ around here sometime.

Rating: D+. The ending makes sense and Rollins won’t be at 100% going into the title match but my goodness the ending was stupid and the chinlocks felt like they went on for an hour. Mahal just isn’t interesting no matter what they do with him and Elias isn’t exactly on fire when he’s in the ring. Still though, good ending to set up the title match.

There are a bunch of tacos and other Mexican food at ringside.

Curt Hawkins vs. James Harden

Before the match, Hawkins says he’s at 199 losses in a row and if it gets to 200, everyone gets a free taco. Harden (the name of the Houston Rockets’ star player) is from right here in Houston. Hawkins sends him into the corner to start and says that it’s over. A spinning slam has Harden in trouble and he runs into a boot in the corner. One heck of a clothesline takes Harden’s head off but here’s Baron Corbin to lay out Harden and give him the DQ win at 1:44.

Post match, Corbin hits Hawkins with a taco and turns the table over.

Back from a break with Corbin in Angle’s office, saying he’ll explain that later. He’s tired of being left out around here so he went to Stephanie McMahon herself. She’s sent a message with him: there’s going to be a checks and balances system, meaning Corbin is the new Constable of Raw to enforce the rules.

Natalya vs. Nia Jax

Non-title with Ronda Rousey on commentary. Nia runs her over and knocks Natalya to the floor as we take a break. Back with Natalya fighting out of a chinlock and scoring with a jawbreaker. A discus clothesline puts Nia down for two but Natalya hurts her knee on the step over into the dropkick. The Samoan drop ends Natalya in short order at 7:22.

Rating: D. I’m still not sure why I’m supposed to be interested in seeing if Ronda can armbar Nia when she’s already armbarred HHH but you can’t expect them to keep continuity for a full two months. Nia’s rather abrupt heel turn and Rousey suddenly being friends with Natalya are both stretches but I’ve seen worse from this company before. Just keep the match at Money in the Bank short and they should survive.

Post match Nia checks on the downed Natalya and Rousey comes in to keep things safe. Natalya is all frustrated as Rousey helps her out. Nia didn’t get physical after the match and looked concerned.

Bobby Roode is ready to win Money in the Bank and promises that it will be Glorious. As for Braun Strowman tonight….yeah he’s nervous but his goal is just to survive.

Braun Strowman vs. Bobby Roode

Strowman throws him around to start and the fans start a GET THESE HANDS chant. An overhead belly to belly has Roode in even more trouble but he avoid a charge into the post. With Strowman down, Roode bridges a ladder between the barricade and the apron. The chase is on and Roode ducks underneath the ladder….so Strowman punches the ladder in half. Roode is stunned and gets powerslammed for the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. So he can break ladders with fists like Wreck It Ralph. Well of course he can. I mean, I can’t imagine him winning Money in the Bank (they’ve pushed it way too hard) so we might as well give him some superpowers before he keeps falling down the ladder. But hey, at least he gets to do something cool in this nothing match, right?

Kevin Owens is ready to take care of everyone in Money in the Bank, starting tonight with Finn Balor.

Natalya is getting her knee iced when Nia comes in to apologize again. Rousey tells her to leave and Natalya says she needs a minute to herself.

Here are Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt to say they’re ready to destroy everyone who faces them because they’ll have fireflies. Matt asks Renee Young if she’s woken and yes she is. Matt: “THAT IS WONDERFUL!” Matt loads up the prepare the battlefield but Bray promises to make the winners suffer before their deletion. Cole: “I have no idea what just happened.”

Money in the Bank rundown.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Ascension, Breezango, Revival, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Titus Worldwide, B Team, Dolph Ziggler/Drew McIntyre

The winners get a title shot at some point in the future. Jojo starts the introductions and the fight is already on, giving us a very odd visual. Like seriously, pay attention people. Ziggler and McIntyre hang out on the apron for a bit before going in to join the fight. Random fighting ensues with Ziggler doing his usual parade of false finishes until Breeze dropkicks him out, meaning McIntyre is out as well. Drew cleans house before leaving and Ziggler joins him for some superkicks.

The Claymore into the Zig Zag drops Rhyno and a bunch of referees tell them to get out. We take a break and come back with Titus Worldwide having been eliminated. Ascension and Breezango are out too and we’re down to three. Rhyno casually tosses Wilder and it’s Slater/Rhyno vs. the B Team. Rhyno gets sent to the floor and Slater picks Axel up for a slam, only to knock Rhyno out to give the B Team the win at 7:26.

Rating: D. Now I don’t know why the Authors of Pain weren’t in this, but my guess is because they sneezed backstage or something and Vince hasn’t yet forgiven them. They can’t even get in a battle royal with the entire division but Rhyno of all people can get one of the last spots. The B Team is funny but I have no idea why the Authors have been banished from Raw for whatever reason.

Here’s Bobby Lashley to call out Sami Zayn….who comes through the crowd. He has a debilitating hand injury that prevented him from doing the simple, everyday tasks like cooking his tofu steaks. Despite being injured though, Sami has never stopped scouting Lashley so he’s been on Instagram this week.

Sami has found some inspirational quotes that Lashley has posted, such as one about finding no box when being told to think outside the box. Next is telling people to do things that scare you because they’re worth it. These quotes touched him so Sami, as a fan, sent him a direct message on Instagram, which sent him a link to the Bobby Lashley VIP fan club, full of expensive merchandise.

Lashley asks what the point of all this is (the voice of the voiceless) and isn’t sure if he should laugh at Sami or feel sorry for him. Sami says everything about Lashley is a lie and he doesn’t even know if Lashley has sisters. Was he even in the army? That’s a step too far for Lashley, who takes off the white jacket….and nothing else is said. Is this supposed to be some big inside joke or are they actually wanting to make me see this match? Either way, it’s really not working.

We look back at the opening segment.

Jinder Mahal says the storm is coming for Reigns.

Roman asks what Jinder has done around here lately and that he expects to be handed everything. We cut back to Jinder, who says Reigns wouldn’t say that to his face. Reigns says he’d say it to his face so Mahal can stay there so Reigns can come shut his mouth for him. A few seconds later the fight is on with Reigns beating Mahal down until referees break it up. This was our big reward for everything else we’ve sat through tonight?

Alexa Bliss/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon vs. Riott Squad

Moon takes Riott down to start but Bliss tags herself in, only to tweak her hamstring. That’s enough for Bliss and she takes a walk as we go to a break. Back with Moon fighting out of a Morgan chinlock but getting tossed back into the corner. Moon gets pulled down by the hair but gets over for the tag a few seconds later anyway. Sasha cleans house and everything breaks down with Logan knocking Moon into the barricade. Back in and a double Meteora puts Morgan and Logan down so here’s Bayley to take the tag from Banks. This is perfectly acceptable as Bayley cleans house and finishes Logan with the Bayley to Belly at 7:07.

Rating: D. I mean, it’s not even the most questionable ending on the show so far tonight and at this point I just want the show to be over already. It seems that they’ve just dropped the Bayley vs. Sasha feud (again) as they’re completely focused on Money in the Bank and, as usual, that’s all that matters for everyone involved in the match. More boring action here in another match that was longer than it felt.

Corbin tells Angle to go fix this because he’ll tell Stephanie otherwise.

Post break, Ember, Bayley and Sasha are happy with their win. Moon wants Bayley and Sasha to hug this out but Angle comes in and says it’s a DQ loss. Moon: “Seriously?” Well duh Ember. Why did you think that would work? Sasha seems to blame Bayley. Allow me to paraphrase: Well duh Sasha. Why did you think that would work?

Corbin yells at the referee.

Bis Show (looking slim) is here with some Special Olympians. That’s always cool to see.

Next week: four way matches between the Raw Money in the Bank participants! In other words, even less stuff to fill in the three hours!

Finn Balor vs. Kevin Owens

Owens easily takes him down to start and asks if that was too sweet. A headlock has Balor slowed down and we switch to a chinlock to really mix things up. Balor fights up into an armbar but Owens whips him hard into the corner to cut him off again. Back from a break with Owens holding another chinlock and Balor fighting up in short order. The kick to the head looks to set up the Coup de Grace but Owens rolls outside.

A snap of the arm over the rope puts Balor in more trouble and it’s off to an armbar. Balor fights up with an elbow to the face but gets superkicked back down. The shotgun dropkick knocks Owens into the corner, only to have him pop back up to crotch Balor. Owens stomps away and that’s a DQ at 18:34.

Rating: D-. So yes, after this horrible show, we’re really supposed to be interested in a DQ finish to a long and really boring match. These two are capable of so much more but since it’s Money in the Bank season, it’s time to sit around and do the boring matches for the sake of building momentum or whatever nonsense we’re supposed to care about this week.

Post match Owens hits the frog splash and climbs the really big ladder. He takes forever teasing the big splash off the ladder but Balor gets up and pulls him down. A Coup de Grace off the ladder crushes Owens and Balor pulls down a briefcase to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. That’s the worst episode I can remember since….well since last year’s Money in the Bank build. This was HORRIBLE with nothing interesting, a bunch of matches that meant nothing (Cole: “Could this be a sign of things to come at Money in the Bank?” NO! BECAUSE IT NEVER IS YOU NITWIT!), were downright stupid (“I’ve been on INSTAGRAM!”) or made wrestlers look like idiots (of course you can just run in on our tag match and get a pin that counts). It’s a terrible time to be a WWE fan and this felt like it went on for nine hours. Don’t worry though as next week will be even worse. Lucky us.

Results

Elias/Jinder Mahal b. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins – Drift Away to Rollins

James Harden b. Curt Hawkins via DQ when Baron Corbin interfered

Nia Jax b. Natalya – Samoan drop

Braun Strowman b. Bobby Roode – Running powerslam

B Team won a Tag Team Battle Royal last eliminating Heath Slater/Rhyno

Riott Squad b. Alexa Bliss/Sasha Banks/Ember Moon via DQ when Bayley interfered

Finn Balor b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Owens wouldn’t stop attacking in the corner

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the NXT The Full Sail Years Volume III (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/05/25/new-book-nxt-the-full-sail-years-from-dallas-to-new-orleans/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6