Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2000
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is on my request list and I’m actually making an effort to clear the thing out a little bit. We’re coming up on No Way Out 2000, meaning HHH is still trying to fend off Cactus Jack, who wants to fight him inside the Cell. I’m really not sure why this show was requested but it’s a good time for the company with the Radicalz freshly on the roster. Let’s get to it.

If you’re not familiar with this time, I’ve already done the February 7 show, which you can check out here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/17/monday-night-raw-february-7-2000-this-show-is-so-excellent-i-dont-have-a-catchy-title-for-it/

Also of note: this aired at 11pm due to the Westminster Dog Show. It still flattened Nitro.

Opening sequence.

I miss that pyro. But hey, we need to cut every cost ever right?

Here are the freshly heel Radicalz (with Eddie’s wrecked arm in a sling) for a chat but they’re cut off by fellow heels DX. Stephanie, far before she had the confidence to back up her voice, tells us to listen up and then shut up. We see a clip from Smackdown of Kane attacking his ex-girlfriend Tori.

Stephanie blames the fans for egging Kane on because it was their reactions that made him tombstone her. If it’s suffering the people want, it’s suffering they’ll get tonight. HHH is tired of people accusing them of being too light on their adversaries so tonight, the real punishment begins. They’ll start with Too Cool, including Grandmaster Sexay vs. Road Dogg and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Billy Gunn. That brings him to Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn, who will go 2-1 against Rikishi. The only one left is Rock, who gets to face Chris Benoit.

With everyone else out of the way, HHH thinks Kane needs to learn about respect for women. Kane needs to learn that women are his equal and he can’t chokeslam them, even if he doesn’t quite have the X Factor to please a woman like Tori. Therefore, to teach him a lesson, it’s going to be Kane vs. X-Pac in a no holds barred match at No Way Out. X-Pac isn’t happy but HHH has a stipulation: to get X-Pac, Kane has to beat HHH and a mystery partner in a No DQ match tonight. Cue all the good guys mentioned here to clean house.

Edge vs. D-Von Dudley vs. Jeff Hardy

The winner’s team gets a Tag Team Title shot at No Way Out. Edge and Jeff get together for some Poetry in Motion on D-Von as Bubba yells at JR about putting BB (a woman who wasn’t around very long) through a table. D-Von fights back and drops an elbow on Jeff for two, only to have Edge missile dropkick both of them down.

The partners try to get involved but it’s Bubba getting suplexed on the floor for his efforts. The announcers get Jeff and Matt confused (I did the same for years) as Jeff hits a Twist of Fate into the Swanton for two on D-Von. Edge spears Jeff down but gets caught in the reverse implant DDT to give D-Von the fast pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a means to an end but it’s still kind of weird to see D-Von in a singles match. The Dudleys were still pretty new around this point but it was time for them to move up the ranks in a hurry. The tag division was about to take off and this was one of the first major steps to get us there.

Mark Henry and Mae Young get a hotel suite for Valentine’s Day and make it the honeymoon suite, much to the desk clerk’s shock and awe.

Road Dogg vs. Grandmaster Sexay

Dogg breaks up the rather lengthy dancing but gets caught in what would become known as the Skull Crushing Finale for his efforts. Back in and Dogg gets to do some dancing, only to charge into a boot in the corner. A bulldog is broken up though as Sexay is crotched in the corner, followed by a running kick to the head for good measure. Sexay is right back up and crotches Dogg on the top to even things out a bit. The Hip Hop Drop misses though and Dogg’s pumphandle slam is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but what are you expecting from these two in a singles match? There’s a reason that they were put into teams more often than not and that was rather evident here. Dogg was a great talker but once he had to be in the ring, a lot of his talents were exposed in a hurry.

Mark carries Mae over the threshold and we get a Do Not Disturb tag on the door.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

Godfather does his full entrance and it’s kind of amazing to think this airs on the same show that we see today. In the back, Snow is trying to hypnotize Blackman into having an interesting personality. Godfather offers Blackman the ladies but gets turned down, setting off a HEAD CHEESE chant. Snow and Godfather get things going with Al avoiding a running elbow. A kick to the back cuts Godfather off as Lawler oogles the ladies. Blackman comes in and kicks Brown down but stops to yell at Snow for carousing with the women. The distraction lets Brown get a sunset flip for the pin, giving Snow and Blackman their first loss.

Mark and Mae get romantic with talks of getting into something more comfortable.

Here’s European Champion (and still relative newcomer) Kurt Angle to talk about how much better Europe is since he won the title. The economy is up, suicide rates are down and tourism is up 16.4%. Whereas in America, the stock market has collapsed and towns like San Jose continue to fall into a deeper depression.

Those falls coincide with Chris Jericho becoming Intercontinental Champion so Angle needs to intervene. Therefore, Angle wants a title shot at No Way Out so he can save America. Angle wants Jericho to come out now but when there’s no Chris, Kurt goes into a rant about Chyna being on the Tonight Show in a rather low cut outfit. He was on the Tonight Show after the Olympics but didn’t embarrass himself because of a little thing called the 3 I’s.

Before he can list them off though, here’s Jericho (who has only been around about six months himself) to interrupt. Jericho heard Angle talking about America falling into a depression but all Angle is doing is make America fall asleep. The brawl is on with Jericho getting the better of it until referees break it up. Cue Chyna to DDT Angle on the floor and celebrate with Jericho. Really strong segment here as you could feel the fire from these two young, hungry and talented guys. Once they threw Benoit in, the combinations just never stopped working.

Mark is in bed and Mae comes out in some lingerie. Shall we say, snuggling ensues and Lawler is almost sick in his crown.

Chris Benoit vs. The Rock

Eddie is in Benoit’s corner. They slug it out to start with Benoit hammering away in the corner but getting punched down for his efforts. A swinging neckbreaker gets two but Eddie grabs the foot to give Benoit an opening. Rock’s arm goes into the post and there’s a chair to the back to keep him in trouble. They’re keeping this one pretty simple so far and that’s the right idea with a TV match. It’s certainly better than throwing a pay per view level match for free on Raw with all of a few hours’ build.

Back in and we hit a cross armbreaker on Rock but Benoit lets it go in short order. A belly to back suplex gets two but Rock grabs a DDT. Eddie is up on the apron in short order though and there’s no count. There is a right hand to Eddie’s jaw however, allowing Benoit to slap on the Crossface. JR swears there’s no way out of the hold, naturally just a few seconds before Rock makes the rope.

The Samoan drop puts Benoit down again as Rock continues to just use basic punches and power moves while Benoit comes up with 28 ways to torture you per match. They fight to the floor where Big Show sneaks in (somehow) and knocks Rock into a German suplex for the pin.

Rating: B-. It’s nice to have some good wrestling, even if it has to be interrupted by Big Show. Rock and Benoit always had nice chemistry together and that made for some solid stuff until we got to the storyline ending. Rock is the kind of guy who can wrestle any kind of opponent and make his offense work. Couple that with a submission master and Rock’s good selling and there’s almost no way this could go bad.

Rock gets laid out post match.

Show, still looking muscular, says there’s no way out for Rock at No Way Out. He’s going to Wrestlemania, hallelujah.

Mark and Mae are in bed and it’s time to exchange gifts. Mae gets chocolates and Mark gets….oh good grief I remember this….edible underwear. Thankfully the camera stays up as she puts them on. The lights go off and…..Mark: “TUTTI-FRUITY!” I….yeah move on. TO ANYTHING ELSE!

Billy Gunn vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Gunn, with the appropriate lips on his gear, punches Scotty down in the corner to start. The running bulldog sets up the Worm but since it’s just a chop, Billy is right back up with a Jackhammer. Dogg distracts the referee for no apparent reason though, allowing Grandmaster to get in a right hand to give Scotty the fluke pin.

The Outlaws’ music plays for some reason. Was Too Cool’s not fun enough or something?

Light Heavyweight Title: Crash Holly vs. Essa Rios

Rios is defending here, having won the title last night on Sunday Night Heat in his debut. Also of note, 12 year old KB loved Rios but thought Lita was holding him back. Hardcore sits in on commentary and says this is the start of a move away from being super heavyweights. They trade bouncing armdrags to start until Essa gets two off a tornado DDT. Crash sends him throat first into the ropes and pounds away before missing a charge in the corner. Lita even grabs a hurricanrana on the floor to quite the reaction. Yeah no future for her whatsoever. Back in and the moonsault retains the title.

Lita adds her own moonsault with Rios counting the pin. Ok so I might have been wrong on this one.

Post break the Hollys are still in the ring with Hardcore saying he’s going to show Crash how it’s done.

Hardcore Holly vs. Tazz

Tazz only debuted less than a month ago. Holly jumps him during the entrance and raises a boot in the corner to stop a charge. A powerslam gives Holly two as the announcers talk about gimmicks. Barbecue sauce is NOT a gimmick by the way, but it might not be able to make Mae’s gift delicious. Holly’s dropkick lets him pose but Tazz grabs a suplex. The Tazmission goes on but Crash comes in for the DQ.

Crash gets beaten up for the third time tonight.

Rikishi Phatu vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko

The villains jump him at the same time to start and quickly eat a double clothesline. A one man 3D drops Malenko and Saturn takes a Samoan drop. That means a double Stinkface but Saturn is back up with a superkick to take over. Rikishi reverses a double suplex but nearly drops both of them on his own attempt. That really didn’t look good, though Rikishi was never quite known for his power. The Rikishi Driver (a sitout Tombstone instead of over the shoulder but still great looking) knocks Malenko silly and a belly to belly drops Saturn. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop but Eddie comes in with a pipe to the leg for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was actually better than I was expecting (botched double suplex aside) with serious Rikishi still being somewhat awesome at times. That Rikishi Driver still looked great and some of the power stuff Rikishi could do worked well enough. I could have gone with the Radicalz not basically being squashed so soon after debuting though and that’s not a great sign for their futures.

The Radicalz work on the leg even more until Too Cool makes the save.

Kane vs. HHH/???

No DQ and if Kane wins, he gets X-Pac at No Way Out. The mystery partner is….not X-Pac, who comes out just before the real partner: Big Show. Kane has to slug away at everyone to start and Show breaks up an early chokeslam attempt. We settle down to the big men starting things off with Kane shrugging off some right hands.

JR talks about Show “shocking the world” earlier tonight when he cost Rock a match earlier. I don’t know if he even shocked half of the arena Jim. The fans are logically chanting for Rock as HHH stomps Kane down in the corner. The facebuster and jumping knee put Kane down as we’re just waiting for Rock here. Kane slugs away until a DDT pulls him down for two. Show comes back in for the elbows in the corner as the announcers debate whether or not Kane should have Tombstoned Tori.

Kane fights back on HHH with a big boot, followed by a jumping clothesline to Big Show. A low blow cuts HHH down and X-Pac throws in a chair but here’s Rock….who is immediately chokeslammed. X-Pac comes in to help with the beatdown but Cactus Jack comes in for the real save (running Tori over in the process). Rock chairs Show into a chokeslam for the pin. JR: “BIG SHOW WINS IT! BIG SHOW FACES X-PAC AT NO WAY OUT!” Lawler: “NO! KANE WON!” JR: “KANE WON!” Geez dude.

Rating: D+. Screwy commentary at the end aside, this was perfectly fine with everything you would expect it to have been. When the fans have figured out what’s coming for the ending it’s probably not the best idea in the world, but at least it’s only a few minutes long. There’s no need to stretch this out for longer than it needed to go and they didn’t do that here. Not a bad match but really just there to serve a single purpose.

The good guys clean house to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a good example of how building to a pay per view used to work. Look at how many stories (some better than others) were advanced here. A lot of them were set up in the first segment but as the show went on, the whole thing tied together. However, they managed to do that with a bunch of short matches, which made me wonder where the wrestling was, and why that’s not the best way of thinking.

That’s where the modern fan in me is coming out and shows you how different things are. Today you get the long matches and the big storyline developments in chunks. This is much more about moving things slowly and that works much better week to week, which is how this was supposed to go. It makes for a slower pace because things don’t all happen at once, instead going week to week. You know, for a reason to come back. Now why can’t today’s Raw get that vibe?

They do it to an extent but the modern philosophy seems to be “air big match, air big match again, air same big match on pay per view”. Back in the day, you would actually have to PAY to see the big matches in a rather novel concept. It’s almost like the TV isn’t the be all end all of stuff and fans wanted to see the bigger matches down the line. I’m sure there’s no connection to wrestling’s popularity and this concept.

It also doesn’t help when you have commentary treating only a handful of things as important. How many times today do you see commentary either ignoring a match or basically calling half the wrestlers worthless or stupid? It feels like more than half the time, which makes so much stuff seem like a waste of time. When a lot of the matches are a waste of time, it makes for a weak show.

Overall though, this was a fun show with a lot of things happening but the show never feeling like it was dragging. There’s no match where you look at your watch to see how much longer it could possibly go and nothing feels repetitive. Why is that so hard to get to today? The lack of a second hour helped, but things were on such a roll at this point that it didn’t seem to matter.

Oh and then we had the Mae Young stuff. Today’s Raw doesn’t have that, therefore making it better almost by definition.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 4, 2003
Location: PNE Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam and as luck would have it, there’s a fresh McMahon to dominate the show! Last week Shane made his big return to stand up for his mother after Kane attacked her the previous week. This was of course the only logical choice instead of Kane’s former partner Rob Van Dam, who was already attacked by Kane a few weeks back. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane’s rampage last week, which was capped off by Shane’s return.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shane to open things up. Shane is here to finish what he started with Kane because he wants to know how big and bad Kane is. As long as he’s able to walk, he’s going to be wherever Kane goes. Cue Eric Bischoff to say he’s appalled by what happened to Linda two weeks ago. Bischoff hates Kane as much as Shane does and he’d love to see Shane get some revenge. He teases Shane vs. Kane tonight and Shane is more than ready but Eric says not so fast.

That’s not what Vince wants though. Instead he wants Kane vs. Rob Van Dam at Summerslam. Shane can’t wait to see Van Dam give Kane a beating at Summerslam but he wants Kane tonight. On the other hand, Shane has to leave right now. Shane rips into Bischoff and says he won’t be leaving tonight, unless Eric wants to make him.

This brings out Austin who tells Shane to get out of the ring because Bischoff is a black belt. Austin brings up Bischoff saying he loved Linda McMahon and makes Bischoff vs. Shane in a no holds barred match for tonight. Bischoff says no way because he can’t face a WWE Superstar. Shane points out that he doesn’t have a contract though and the match is on. Eric panics but smiles and brings up the no holds barred part. Lawler: “THIS IS LIKE A DREAM MATCH!”

On what planet is this a dream match? And on what show should making Shane vs. Bischoff take SEVENTEEN MINUTES? I know this show doesn’t like to actually have wrestling on it a lot of the time but egads just do this in like five minutes or even in a backstage segment. Or better yet, HAVE ACTUAL WRESTLERS IN YOUR MATCH INSTEAD OF THESE TWO!

Rene Dupree vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Lawler is still raving about how awesome Shane vs. Bischoff is going to be. I know Vince vs. Bischoff would be a dream match but have Shane and Eric ever even spoken on TV before? Dupree dances to start so Bubba sends him into the corner for the loud overhead chop. D-Von gets on the apron for some reason, allowing a quick double team behind the stupid referee’s back.

A neckbreaker gets Bubba out of trouble and a running clothesline gets two. Bubba even goes aerial for a middle rope crossbody but walks into a spinebuster for two more. Rene brings in the French flag but Sylvan comes in, only to clothesline his partner by mistake. That’s not a DQ either, so D-Von hits Rene in the head with the flag pole. The Bubba Bomb is good for the pin on a busted open Dupree. Not long enough to rate but my goodness how much overbooking do you need in a two and a half minute match? How much is there going to be in an actually important (work with me here) Tag Team Title match?

Evolution is in the back and HHH has a badly pulled groin. A panicked Bischoff comes in and has a proposition for HHH.

Video on the Australia tour. Seems to have been some good crowds, which isn’t the most surprising thing in the world.

Scott Steiner vs. Randy Orton

This really isn’t a good idea for a rookie like Orton (or a veteran like HHH actually). Stacy’s outfit is a bit of a better idea but that kind of goes without saying. No Flair with Orton as he has to worry about Goldberg. Before the match, Orton says he can feel the tension in this arena tonight. Orton, and I quote: “It seems that more people came to see Randy Orton’s nipples than Stacy Keibler’s.” Steiner will have none of that besmirchment (such a great word) and stomps away in the corner. He’s so mad that he lets Orton clothesline him twice before a dropkick takes him down. So he’s strong against shoulders but weak against feet.

The fans chant for Stacy as Steiner grabs a spinning belly to belly to put Orton on the floor. An accidental Stacy distraction lets Orton hammer away, only to charge into something like a powerslam for two. Some double ax handles to the chest (more people should use that) set up the push up elbow as Steiner goes through his regular routine. Cue Test for the most obvious finish ever, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: D. Steiner is still a name and this is the best thing that he can do at this point. I mean, the Test feud is killing him but a clean pin for Orton helps him out well enough. What does it say that though that he was nearly unstoppable back in January and now he’s losing in about four minutes while feuding with Test? That’s some all time levels of falling down the card and yet it’s still not all that surprising.

HHH tells a nervous Bischoff that they have a deal, much to Eric’s relief.

Rosey, in street clothes, tells Hurricane that he’s ready to be a superhero. Christian comes in to brag about taking Booker out in Australia and promises to beat Hurricane tonight. Rosey pulls out a box labeled S.H.I.T. Hurricane: “HOLY S***!” Apparently Rosey made it himself.

Bischoff has recruited Rodney Mack of all people to help him with Shane but Austin comes up. Mack leaves so Bischoff can brag about having Evolution in his corner (What difference does it make if it’s anything goes?) in exchange for Goldberg vs. HHH at Summerslam being No DQ. Austin: “I think it sucks.” So Steve Austin thinks the main event of Summerslam sucks. Good to know.

Hurricane vs. Christian

The fans are behind their countryman, even as Hurricane elbows him down. A trip to the floor has Christian in more trouble and the high crossbody gets two. Christian slips out of the chokeslam though and a rollup with a handful of tights is good for the pin. Just there for the sake of setting up something after the match.

Post match Christian keeps up the beating until Rosey, now in the Superhero in Training garb makes the save. You can imagine the chant. Rosey poses in front of Hurricane, who taps him on the shoulder so they can change places. Not quite Shawn and Diesel but it works.

Kane arrives in the police van. As questionable as this is, having Kane in the role is probably better than anyone else as he can at least look intimidating.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

HHH is on commentary again. Goldberg shoves shoves Flair around to start and drops him with a shoulder….as we go over to a shot of HHH talking about his groin. Goldberg’s press slam is loudly booed (as Goldberg wasn’t exactly popular in Canada ever, which was made even worse when he kicked Bret Hart’s head off) and an awkward looking toss (with almost no height) doesn’t make things any better.

A shot to the knee slows Goldberg down as HHH asks Coach if he’ll massage the bad groin. HHH: “It’s the best offer you’ve ever had”. Back up and Flair’s shot to the face have no effect so Goldberg hits a good looking backdrops. Flair pokes him in the eye but gets slammed off the top, only to have Orton come in with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was basically a Goldberg squash until the ending and the ending is fine. It makes sense for Evolution to take as much out of Goldberg as they could before Summerslam. Goldberg in the ring in Canada just wasn’t a good idea, though to be fair I’m not sure how much time they would have to know that just yet. Storyline advancement here though and I can go with Orton getting to put Goldberg down with the chair shot.

Post match the beatdown is on but Shawn, then Jericho, then Nash come in for the respective saves. Cue Austin to make the Summerslam main event into an Elimination Chamber between HHH, Goldberg, Jericho, Nash, Shawn and Orton. Everyone is stunned and Goldberg spears Flair down. If Austin doesn’t think it, I certainly will: that sounds like it’s going to suck, mainly because HHH is hurt, Nash is Nash and Orton is WAY too young to be in this spot.

Post break everyone is still in the ring as Terri interviews Slamball (I remember that being awesome, though I was a stupid teenager) founder Pat Croche about the season two premiere. Jericho and Nash get in a fight with Nash easily getting the better of it.

HHH wants everything changed but Bischoff says that technically, this is out of his hands. Then technically, Bischoff is on his own tonight. Why not go get Rodney Mack back? Or just buy some other heel? Or find the person Shane is feuding with to advance their story? Would that be against Vince’s will either?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending and starts fast with a snap suplex for two. A northern lights suplex (back bridge, according to Coach) gets the same as the fans want puppies. Odds are they mean the Canadian puppies, because Heaven forbid anyone find Molly attractive (even though she’s rather pretty at this point with the short brown hair). A headscissors out of the corner gets Trish out of trouble and the Matrish sends Molly flying out to the floor. Trish hammers away on the floor but here’s Victoria for the quick DQ. Yeah make sure to beat down those Canadians.

Gail Kim runs in for the save but turns on Trish anyway. Then the point for the save was…..? Writers trying to be smarter than they really are perhaps?

Shane attacks the police van because he has no respect for government property.

Lance Storm needs help being boring and asks Goldust for help. This is not going to end well, but hopefully it ends soon.

Bischoff sends the cops off after Austin but uses the distraction to unlock the van.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Rob starts fast with a dropkick and monkey flip, only to miss a dive off the top, sending him into the barricade. Back in and Jericho drops some elbows as the announcers talk about the Elimination Chamber. A knee to the ribs cuts Rob down for two more and Jericho elbows him in the head. This isn’t exactly thrilling stuff and the announcers talking about ANYTHING else isn’t helping things.

Rob manages to suplex him over the ropes onto the floor but can’t follow up. Back in and a dropkick drops Van Dam, only to have him come back with a springboard kick to the face. A jumping enziguri continues the battle of kicks to the head and gives Jericho two more. Rob’s stepover kick to the face looks to set up Rolling Thunder but Jericho rolls away just in time.

The Lionsault misses as well but Rob misses a Five Star splash (there was nothing froggy about it). They botch a hurricanrana with Jericho trying a quick Walls, only to have Rob next to the ropes. He’s right back up with another kick to the face and the split legged moonsault to put Jericho away.

Rating: D. Where do you even start? The botches? The REALLY dull first half? The announcers not caring? Giving Van Dam a pin over a World Title contender before he gets squashed by Kane at the pay per view? They had an interesting idea here with both guys mirroring each others’ moves (the kicks, the missed flip attacks) but the execution was much, much worse than you would have expected from these two.

Post match Jericho says there’s a conspiracy against him so he wants Nash in a hair vs. hair match. This would have made a lot more sense after the earlier segment between the two and without the clean loss to Van Dam in between but this show has far bigger problems to get around.

Bischoff is smiling.

Kane is out of his van. Coach: “Is this why Bischoff is smiling???” And people think JR misses the obvious sometimes?

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Anything goes and Bischoff comes out carrying a kick pad for a karate demonstration. After that waste of time, we’re ready to go with both guys in street clothes. Actually hang on again because Shane has to dance. Bischoff kicks him down three times in a row without much effort but gets speared down for the famous Shane punches. Cue Kane for the brawl in the aisle with Shane getting the better of it because he’s a better fighter than Rob Van Dam or STEVE AUSTIN you see. Kane fights back and kicks Shane in the face, followed by a Tombstone on the steps to give Bischoff the pin.

Rating: F. Somehow this was an official match and somehow it was long enough to rate because of course it was. I’m really not sure why we’re not getting Shane vs. Kane at the pay per view because that’s clearly what makes sense here. I mean, I know you can’t just have Kane take Van Dam out again or something (or just have Van Dam not come back yet) because that’s just too complicated. Not a match of course but that’s best for everyone.

Lawler acts like Bischoff just won the World Title because this was a dream match remember. Bischoff celebrates forever (including getting two more three counts) to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was awful with nothing really good all night long. Between putting WAY too much emphasis on Shane vs. Eric, the completely illogical mess of the Van Dam/Kane/Shane stuff and the rather dumb changes to the main event (I know HHH was injured but I’m thinking he was healthy enough to take a spear and Jackhammer, then have the real match when he’s back to full strength), I have no idea what they think they accomplished here. Absolutely awful and one of the worst they’ve done in several months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 2018
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s a new year (yes it is) and that probably doesn’t mean much. We’ll be getting ready for the Royal Rumble in less than a month and tonight that includes an appearance by Brock Lesnar. Other than that we have Roman Reigns defending the Intercontinental Title against Samoa Joe and Cedric Alexander challenging Enzo Amore for the Cruiserweight Title. Let’s get to it.

Alexa Bliss goes to see Kurt Angle in the back because she’s not happy with having to face Asuka tonight. Angle basically says get over it.

Here’s Angle for a chat. Angle talks about how great 2017 was and promises 2018 will be even better. In a few weeks we’ll be having the 25^th Anniversary of Raw and then the Royal Rumble. John Cena entered the men’s Royal Rumble earlier today and that brings us to the women’s Royal Rumble. The same rules will apply for the men: thirty entrants with the winner getting a title shot at Wrestlemania.

Cue the Bar to complain about Angle giving Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins a title shot last week and then celebrating with the new champions after the show. They won’t stand for this favoritism. The Bar wants their rematch tonight but Angle says it’s when he chooses. Cue Jordan to say he and Seth earned the titles last week but Cesaro isn’t convinced. Angle makes a match for right now but here’s Rollins to interrupt as well. Rollins thinks Jordan is going a bit too fast but Seth will be in his corner….to watch Jason lose.

I know this was supposed to be Rollins and Ambrose again but Rollins and Jordan aren’t working so far. They’re a very forced together team and Rollins acting like Jordan has no idea how to be a tag wrestler is quite the stretch. Jordan going full heel would help, but it seems that they’ve shifted gears into him just proving himself as a talent, which he doesn’t need to do.

Jason Jordan vs. Cesaro

Joined in progress with Cesaro in control and grabbing a chinlock. Back up and Cesaro’s dive is pulled out of the air, allowing Jordan to drive him into the corner over and over. Sheamus offers a distraction though and Cesaro takes the knee out. Cesaro cranks on the knee in a variety of ways before Jordan manages to send him outside. That just earns him another shot to the knee, followed by a knee crusher onto the apron.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro baseball sliding Jordan out to the floor again. Cesaro grabs a half crab (that’s a back hold but whatever) but Jordan fights up and grabs some suplexes. Both guys are down again and Sheamus knocks Jordan into a rollup, followed by another half crab. Seth goes after Sheamus though, allowing Jordan to grab the wheelbarrow neckbreaker for the pin at 15:13.

Rating: C. A lot of that made my head hurt as Jordan’s leg was worked over for the majority of the match, including two holds (again, didn’t work on the leg but they were trying) but then he’s throwing suplexes and the wheelbarrow neckbreaker. What’s the point in doing something like that if Jordan just does his stuff anyway? It’s a common problem and again, it seems that they’re postponing the heel turn for the moment, which isn’t good for anyone.

Roman Reigns promises to stay in the rules tonight because if he gets disqualified he loses the title. If that had actually lead to a title change via DQ more than maybe twice ever, that declaration might actually mean something.

Sasha Banks says she’ll win the Royal Rumble.

Bray Wyatt vs. Apollo Crews

Bray takes him into the corner without much effort but has to punch his way out of a headlock. An enziguri into a slingshot hilo doesn’t do Crews much good as Bray runs him over with a headbutt to the chest. Crews kicks him down again but gets crotched on top. Bray glares down at Dana Brooke and we take a break.

Back with Bray holding a chinlock until Crews fights up for a running kick to the face. Crews looks for the Toss Powerbomb but gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline. Dana gets on the apron and gets scared off onto Titus, allowing Crews to hit the jumping enziguri. The Toss Powerbomb is easily reversed into Sister Abigail though and Crews is done at 10:23.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? Like seriously, what was that? Crews is someone who should be losing in about two minutes, not stretching it through a commercial. This is a good example of why Bray is in the place he’s in: despite being presented as a monster, he doesn’t wrestle like a monster. Instead he comes off like someone who is dealt with by speaking to him with a firm voice. I like Crews a lot but he should have been flattened here.

Post match Matt Hardy pops up on screen to say he’s all around Bray and intends to delete him. The screen turns into hundreds of small screens featuring Matt’s face and Bray looks disturbed. I would be too if it took me that long to beat Apollo Crews.

Nia Jax is trying to leave because Enzo Amore is in the hospital with the flu. Alexa cuts her off and says she needs her at ringside. Bliss says it’s Enzo or her and Nia leaves. Sweet goodness you mean Enzo is STILL going to be champion next week? Well of course, because there’s no way they’ll put the title match on 205 Live.

Ad for the Mixed Match Challenge, which I believe is the first time it’s been mentioned on the main show. That being said, HAHAHAHAHA if they actually think people are staying until 11:30 for the end of 205 Live after that show is over.

Alexa Bliss vs. Asuka

Non-title. This was set up last week when Asuka kicked Bliss in the head. An early spinning backfist misses so Asuka goes with a front facelock instead. Bliss has to bail from a kneebar but the hip attack puts her on the floor. Back in and Bliss gets kicked down as this is one sided so far. Bliss bails to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Bliss holding Asuka in a bodyscissors, only to be reversed into an ankle lock. Bliss makes a rope and kicks her in the ribs again, followed by some forearms to the back. A backbreaker lets Bliss hammer away with right hands and it’s back to the bodyscissors. That’s switched into a guillotine choke before Bliss stomps away in the corner.

A running slap just ticks Asuka off though (Well what were you expecting?) and it’s some dropkicks to put Bliss in trouble again. There’s a running hip attack and a hard knee to the face but Bliss comes out of the corner with a sunset flip. Asuka counters that into a cradle for two, followed by the cross armbreaker to make Bliss tap at 14:35.

Rating: B. Bliss hung in there but this wasn’t exactly a shocking result. Asuka is going to win the title one day and they’re going to treat it as a big moment. Normally this would set up a title match at the Rumble but we can’t do that when Asuka is already in the Rumble itself. There are some options here and that’s what you want going into a major match like that.

We look back at Roman Reigns attacking Samoa Joe last week and causing a DQ in their title match.

Joe is ready for Reigns because he’s already broken up the Shield. It’s because of Joe that Dean Ambrose is a stay at home husband living off his wife’s (who happens to be doing this interview) paycheck. Renee’s face off that line was great and as usual, Joe comes off as the most serious person not named Brock Lesnar in this company.

Bayley enters the Rumble.

Braun Strowman vs. Rhyno

The announcer introduces Slater as the opponent. Well they do both have meaty thighs. Strowman drops him with an early shoulder and goes outside to grab a mic. Braun tells Strowman to either stay on the floor and be quiet or take a beating. Slater comes in and the double teaming actually works for a good five seconds. The running powerslam ends Rhyno at 2:31.

Post match, multiple powerslams ensue. Yeah he’s great. Now have him be the odd man out when Lesnar pins Kane so we can move on.

Rollins comes up to Reigns in the back and Roman says he’s keeping his cool. Jordan comes in and says they’ll take the Bar out tonight. Jordan: “Believe that.” Seth and Roman share a funny look. Ok point for a good scene.

Strowman runs into Kane, who just wants to talk about Lesnar. Kane says they’re the alpha monsters and since NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED LIKE THIS IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, Kane wants to team up, Strowman says no. Can no one in this company speak like a human?

Finn Balor comes in to Angle’s office and enters the Royal Rumble. Angle is pleased but wants to know who Balor has for partners tonight in a six man tag. Cue Anderson and Gallows with Balor asking who else it would be.

Intercontinental Title: Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending and loses the title if he’s disqualified. Joe pops him with the right hands to start but Reigns comes back with some forearms to the back. The referee breaks up some shots to the face in the corner because the rules say he needs to be all serious here when no referee would ever do something like this otherwise. A suplex puts Reigns on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Joe running him over with an elbow for two. Reigns grabs a suplex though, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. Joe works on the arm but Roman is back up with a clothesline. That just earns him a charge to take him down again as the pace stays slow (in a good way). A hard whip sends Reigns into the corner and Joe takes him down to the mat to crank on the arm some more.

Reigns fights up again and hits a running clothesline, followed by the standing clotheslines in the corner. The running apron dropkick gives Reigns two but hang on a second as the referee has to warn for a DQ. Joe sends him outside though and there’s the suicide elbow for a double knockdown.

They’re both back in at nine and we take a second break. Back again with Reigns getting headbutted down but yelling at Joe to hit him harder. Reigns gets two off a Samoan drop and Joe bails to the floor. Roman dives into a shot to the chest and gets sent into the steps but thankfully Joe rolls back inside to break the count. A whip into the steps is reversed but of course that’s not enough for the DQ.

Joe gets in a shot to the face, only to eat a Superman punch off the steps. Back in and another Superman punch gets two with the kickout stunning Reigns. The spear is blocked and Joe sends Reigns into the referee, who of course is talked out of the DQ. Another Superman punch is countered into the spinning Rock Bottom for two more and now Joe is yelling at the referee. The Clutch goes on but Reigns spins out of it and hits the spear to retain at 24:53.

Rating: B+. The DQ stuff was kind of annoying but they were beating the heck out of each other for a LONG time here and it made for a good match. I mean, you knew the most likely ending was spear into Reigns winning but at least Joe got in a very solid match before losing via clean pin. It’s going to be almost all Reigns until we get to the Superdome because THIS TIME FOR SURE but that’s how WWE works anymore.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Angle and basically says Lesnar is awesome. Thanks for coming in for that one Paulie.

Absolution is entering the Rumble. These entrances aren’t exactly surprising when there are all of twenty or so women on the main roster.

Drew Gulak and Ariya Daivari are in the ring with Drew reading Enzo’s promo off a letter Enzo wrote for them. Enzo isn’t defending the title tonight due to the flu and would love to face Cedric, who interrupts in short order. The villains are willing to have a tag match but Cedric doesn’t have a partner. Cue Goldust of all people to ask if Cedric wants to be friends. Goldust: “Cedric, want to be friends?”. See that’s what he said.

Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Cedric Alexander/Goldust

Daivari takes Cedric down into a chinlock to start but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. That’s enough for a pretty early double tag to Goldust and Gulak as the pace quickens. They botch Goldust’s running bulldog (Gulak seemed to trip and Goldust made a quick save by punching him in the head so it was nothing too bad) but the second attempt works just fine. Goldust actually goes up top and hits a pretty good looking twisting crossbody. Cedric’s springboard double clothesline takes both guys down and it’s the Lumbar Check to end Gulak at 3:26.

Finn Balor/Anderson and Gallows vs. Elias/Miztourage

Before the match, Elias has the Miztourage come out of the shadows with a cowbell (Bo) and some bells (Axel). Miz is back next week so they dedicate a little Auld Lang Syne to his honor. This goes as well as you would expect and even Elias cuts them off. Joined in progress after a break with Axel getting two on Balor before it’s off to Elias for some boots in the corner. Balor gets over to the corner for a hot tag to Gallows though and house is cleaned in the form of some kicks to the head. A splash crushes Dallas and the Magic Killer into the Coup de Grace puts him away at 3:24.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but I’m thinking the Miztourage should just stick with Elias. They have some chemistry there and it’s not like it matters who their boss is. Miz doesn’t really need lackeys (though they don’t hurt him) and it would give Elias a nice little rub, which he could use with his current status.

Video on Miz’s return next week.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to close things out. Paul thinks the company’s New Year’s Resolution is to stack the deck against Lesnar by throwing multiple challengers at the same time. It used to be challenger and now it’s CHALLENGERS because there’s no other way to stop Brock. That makes things more complicated because Brock can lose the title without getting pinned, which is the only way it could happen.

Heyman mocks the announcers talking about the odds but says Brock is always 100%. If it’s one on one, no one is beating Brock. You could even throw all thirty Royal Rumble entrants against him and it would be the same slaughter. They go to leave but here’s Kane (with Brock pausing due to a delay in Kane’s music hitting) to chokeslam Brock but Lesnar sits up like Undertaker. A Cactus Clothesline puts them on the floor but some of the locker room comes out for the break up. No Braun as Brock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Intercontinental Title match is more than enough to carry the show but the rest felt like it was being extended to fill in time. Unless Enzo was getting something like twenty minutes (I’d be STUNNED), then it felt like they were trying to punt because of the college football but didn’t know how to do it. The show was more good than bad as the focus is firmly on the Rumble and that’s good for everyone. Now build up some potential winners for both matches and we should be fine.

Results

Jason Jordan b. Cesaro – Wheelbarrow neckbreaker

Bray Wyatt b. Apollo Crews – Sister Abigail

Asuka b. Alexa Bliss – Cross armbreaker

Braun Strowman b. Rhyno – Running powerslam

Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe – Spear

Cedric Alexander/Goldust b. Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari – Lumbar Check to Gulak

Finn Balor/Anderson and Gallows b. Elias/Miztourage – Coup de Grace to Dallas

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 28, 2003
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re finally past the final single brand pay per view before it’s time for Summerslam and that means the build begins tonight. Last week saw Goldberg come out to face off with HHH so odds are we’ll have a title match set up in the very near future. Other than that, Kane is still a monster and there’s not much that can be done to stop him. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of Linda McMahon’s appearance last week, including getting Tombstoned by Kane.

Here’s Vince (in a rather hideous shirt) to open things up. He’s here to confront Kane’s lack of manhood, not because he’s a good husband (Vince: “Everybody knows better than that.”). Before tonight, everything is going to break loose against Kane.

Booker T./Scott Steiner vs. Christian/Test

Egads these feuds just won’t die. Booker and Test start things off by trading some shots to the face until Christian’s cheap shot lets the dastardly Canadians take over. Steiner comes in and Test actually runs to the floor to hide. Back in and the push-up elbow has Christian in trouble and a gorilla press makes things even worse.

The reverse DDT gives Christian a breather and of course Test is ready to come in and stomp away. A running clothesline in the corner allows Test to do his own pushups, though Stacy really isn’t impressed. The hot tag brings in Booker and everything breaks down with Steiner suplexing Christian over to the floor. Lawler, I guess thinking this is the NWA for some reason, says that should be a DQ.

That confusing idea takes us to a break and we come back with Steiner fighting out of Test’s chinlock. Another suplex allows another hot tag to Booker as things pick up again. House is quickly cleaned and Test kicks Christian by mistake, allowing Booker to ax kick Christian for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m thoroughly sick of both of these feuds but for some reason both just keep going. Test vs. Steiner is likely leading to another big gimmick match but I’m not sure Booker vs. Christian needs to be anything more than over. While this wasn’t terrible, it was a pair of feuds that didn’t need to continue and for some reason that’s what we’re stuck with.

We see a clip of the press conference with HHH vs. Goldberg being announced as the Raw main event for Summerslam.

Goldberg vs. Steven Richards

The usual finishes Richards in just over a minute.

Rico vs. Val Venis

Rematch from a few weeks ago where Rico beat Venis on Heat. Rico disrobes to start and it’s an early spank for Val. A waistlock just makes Rico bend over as I think you can get the joke. Don’t worry if you can’t though as WWE will make sure to beat you over the head with it in short order.

Rico flips up to his feet and gets dropkicked in the back, which only seems to set Rico off. A middle rope ax handle gives Rico two and he gets in some right hands to the head as this is going WAY longer than it needs to. Val comes back with a spinebuster and the Money Shot is good for the pin, despite Miss Jackie’s failed interference attempt.

Rating: D. WAY too long here (and it was only about five minutes) as there was no need for this match to have any kind of time whatsoever. Rico did his nonsense at first but after that it was just Rico vs. Val Venis for longer than it needed on Raw. I know they need to build midcard characters but they really need something better than this.

Bischoff instructs security on how to handle the arriving Kane. The solution: keep him locked in a van until the time is right.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho in a great mood after making Shawn Michaels tap out last week. Jericho calls that the first time Shawn ever tapped out, which almost has to be an exaggeration. Anyway, after looking at the clip a few times, here’s Randy Orton as the official guest. Orton talks about Evolution loving the Highlight Reel and they even have a gift for Jericho: an Evolution t-shirt. Jericho is touched and would love to give Orton a Highlight Reel shirt but they’re all sold out.

Anyway, Jericho asks about the RKO, which he calls majestic. That brings Jericho to the big question though: why did Orton interfere in the match last week? It’s not like Jericho needed it you see. Orton says he was trying to make a name for himself and what better way to do it than by killing another legend. Shawn says Jericho is the kind of guy who has made him a millionaire over the years and he’s ready to face Jericho one more time right here tonight. Jericho declines and the fight is on in a hurry with the numbers game getting the better of Shawn. Kevin Nash makes the save and says he’ll fight Jericho right now.

Chris Jericho vs. Kevin Nash

Joined in progress with Nash forearming Jericho in the corner but Chris takes the knee out to put Nash down. Jericho stomps away on the bad knee in the corner as the announcers get in every possible nickname they can think of for either guy. Nash comes back with a side slam but Jericho hits him low for a DQ.

Rating: D-. Nothing to see here and it might as well have been attached to the previous segment. I was liking Nash being stuck in the lower midcard but you knew he wasn’t going to lower himself down to that point for very long. There was nothing to see here, but you can pretty much guess that it’s just a way to advance to another point in the story.

Post match Nash snaps and destroys Jericho, dropping him face first into an exposed buckle to bust him open. Nash does it again but Jericho bails into the crowd before Nash can hit him with the steps.

We look back at the opening sequence.

Hurricane thinks something is wrong with Rosey and wants to know whatsupwithdat. Rosey, the Superhero in Training, said that he was at the airport (must have been with Kevin Nash) today and someone called him a big piece of…..yeah. Maybe Rosey can have half a match and a beach towel, but one day he’ll have hurri-powers. Rosey tries to fly but goes and sits down instead. This was basically saying “yeah this is still going.”.

Bischoff yells at the guards for opening the van doors to give Kane some air.

Rob Van Dam has a severe concussion and JR is out of the hospital.

Tag Team Titles: La Resistance vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak

La Resistance is defending and the Dudley Boyz are on commentary. Jindrak and Cade won a non-title match on Heat to set this up, because the tag division is so deep that you can have the champs lose clean falls. Cade shoulders Dupree down to start and a second version sends him to the floor. Back in and a double dropkick gets two on Rene and Jindrak hits a regular version to keep him in trouble.

Cade comes in for some right hands as the fans want tables. A hot shot (to the middle rope) cuts Cade off though and the champs take over. The threat of a flag shot brings the Dudleys down for a save and we take a break. Back with Jindrak coming in for more dropkicks and one of the highest backdrops I’ve seen in a long time. Maybe if he did that more than just dropkick everyone, he could have stayed in Evolution. Everything breaks down and the double spinebuster puts Jindrak away to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. The French guys are rapidly hitting their ceiling but there’s only so much you can do when you have the Dudleys and virtually no one else to face. It also doesn’t help that your whole characters are “we’re French”. Jindrak and Cade are fine for some pretty boys, but you have a limited amount of chances with the first name Garrison. Was someone watching South Park and got pressed for a name?

Post match the beatdown is teased but the Dudleys come in for the save. That lasts all of five seconds before some flag shots leave the good guys laying.

Kane is let out of the van but isn’t in a good mood.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending after Molly pinned her in a tag match last week. Kim armbars her to start as Lawler goes straight into the “all women hate each other” speech. The rope walk armdrag is broken up as Molly shoves her out to the floor in a heap. It’s off to a bow and arrow hold for a few moments until Kim snaps off a headscissors. Some rollups give Gail two and she gets in the required hurricanrana for the same. The top rope hurricanrana is broken up though and the Molly Go Round gives Holly the title.

Rating: D. They didn’t have a choice here as Kim was bombing out there as champion. I know she would get better in later years but it REALLY wasn’t working at this point and there’s no way around that. Somehow, Kim would never win another title in WWE. You really would think they would have gone back to her at some point but it just never happened. The match was nothing of course and just a way to give us the necessary title change.

Here’s Vince to address Kane face to face. Kane is brought out in shackles but Vince wants them removed. They go face to face in the ring with Vince insulting him but then shifting to the idea of having a monster in the palm of his hand. Before he can get too far though, here’s Austin to interrupt, giving us that amazing look that only Vince hearing Austin’s music can bring.

Austin gets straight to the point: he’s continuing as General Manager, which means he can’t beat people up without being physically provoked. Therefore, he wants Kane to provoke him RIGHT NOW. Austin insults him a few times and literally sticks his chin out while begging Kane to hit him. Kane backs up instead but here’s the returning Shane McMahon to beat Kane up instead. Shane hits some chair shots to knock Kane up the ramp and a big one sends him off the stage. Kane sits up and laughs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Well that didn’t work. With no good matches in sight and almost nothing that makes me want to see Summerslam (at least on the Raw side), this show did little more than make me want to watch Smackdown. Somehow HHH vs. Goldberg might be the most interesting thing on this show and that’s really not saying much. Shane vs. Kane makes my head hurt as you have Rob Van Dam, as in an actual wrestler, there to face Kane instead. Really bad show here, which you knew was coming sooner or later.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 25, 2017
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

For reasons of “USA Told Us To Do It”, WWE presents a three hour Monday Night Raw on Christmas night. As a bonus, the first hour will feature no commercials, because if there’s one thing I think of when I watch Raw, it’s that there’s not enough material. John Cena is back for another one night shot so let’s get to it.

Speaking of Cena, here he is to open things up. Actually hang on a second as Cena says there’s something that needs to change. Cena goes outside and says someone is wearing the wrong colors. He takes off his hat and shirt and hands them to a kid with some sort of a disability who is wearing his old orange gear. And that is why Cena comes off as a superhero and is just flat out awesome to boot.

That earns a MERRY CHRISTMAS chant and Cena talks about how WWE is like a family. However, he wants to say cheers to the good and bad times, but cheers on a special day like today. Cue Elias to interrupt for his big spot of getting a rub from Cena. John actually agrees to walk with him but they get cut off by a CM Punk chant. Elias: “CM Punk ain’t gonna interrupt me.”

Cena says we need to have some fun tonight and grabs a chair so Elias can perform. The lights go down and Elias is about to play but the CM PUNK chants cut him off again. The song starts and of course it insults Chicago so Cena cuts him off and says hit the lights. Cena thinks Elias is the real jerk because he keeps insulting every city he’s in.

Elias thinks Cena might be right and offers to do the song again if Chicago will give him a second chance. He sings again and this time sings a rather nice version before handing it off to Cena for “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. Cena starts off but gets punched in the face for his efforts. Elias goes to leave but comes back to stomp away and challenges Cena to a match right now. A referee is fine with this and we’re ready to go.

John Cena vs. Elias

Cena, whose shorts look shorter than usual, gets hammered down to start but grabs a desperation headlock. Elias gets two off a release slam before tying Cena in the Tree of Woe. An Alberto Del Rio top rope double stomp gets another near fall but Cena avoids a second attempt.

Cena gets taken down again though and a Batista Bomb gives Elias another near fall. We hit the chinlock to eat up some more time with Elias even flipping forward to get Cena away from the rope. Back up and a hard clothesline gets two on Cena, which does so well that Elias does the same thing again for the same result.

Cena has to pull himself up using Elias’ body, earning himself another right hand to the face for two more. A quick STF has Elias in trouble but Cena doesn’t have it in full. Elias crawls to the ropes so Cena tries to grab it again, only to have Elias pop up for a jumping knee to the face.

That doesn’t even get a cover as Cena rolls outside before grabbing the STF again. This time Elias makes the rope but the damage seems to have been done. Something like a slow motion Drift Away gets two but Elias takes his sweet time posing. Cena pops up and initiates his finishing sequence. The AA is good for the pin on Elias at 16:08.

Rating: C+. Elias got in most of the offense here and that’s all you can ask for him here. No Elias shouldn’t have won here as it’s just a way to give the fans a feel good win and there’s nothing wrong with that. You have to imagine Cena will be around for the Rumble and he’s going to be a favorite so let him have a win to get some of his mojo back.

Cena salutes the kid in the crowd.

Samoa Joe video.

Jason Jordan comes in to see Kurt Angle but Seth Rollins cuts them off, saying he wants to face Samoa Joe tonight. In a repeat of the same thing he does every week, Jordan says he wants his match against Joe. Angle suggests that they team up to deal with the Bar first but neither seems interested. Kurt makes the match anyway and puts the titles on the line.

The two of them leave and Roman Reigns comes in. Angle gives him Joe tonight, with the Intercontinental Title on the line.

Brian Kendrick and Jack Gallagher are in the ring before Kendrick faces Hideo Itami. Kendrick laughs off the idea of being scared of Itami because the two of them are some of the finest competitors around.

Hideo Itami vs. Brian Kendrick

They forearm it out to start with Itami getting the better of it and demanding respect. Back up and a jumping knee to the face gives Kendrick two. We hit a cross arm choke on Itami but he’s back up without much effort. The tornado DDT into the neck snap across the top has Kendrick in trouble and a running corner dropkick makes it even worse. The GTS ends Kendrick at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Itami is a great striker but he doesn’t have the best fire in the world. Just shouting RESPECT ME over and over isn’t exactly going to make him the most popular guy, but at least he’s trying. Let him show off more of his strikes and see what he can do and maybe that’ll get him somewhere. As it is though, nothing all that special here.

Video on the announcement of the Women’s Royal Rumble, naturally with Stephanie getting most of the focus. Thankfully we do get some reactions from some of the women.

Mickie James, Sasha Banks and Bayley run into the very Christmas themed Miztourage. They sing some Miz themed Christmas carols. The ladies bail in a hurry.

Bayley/Mickie James/Sasha Banks vs. Absolution

Paige forearms Sasha in the face to start before it’s off to Mandy. Mickie comes in for a running forearm and it’s off to Bayley, who gets a heck of a reaction. It’s off to Deville who gets in her hard strikes, only to have Bayley take her back into the corner. The fight heads outside with Sonya hitting a heck of a clothesline to drop Banks and take over. The fans are happy to have Paige back in but it’s quickly back to Sonya for a hard knee.

We hit a bodyscissors for a bit before the villains take turns beating on Banks. The announcers continue to drool over Mandy (they have good taste) as she knocks Bayley and James off the apron to break up a hot tag attempt. As is so often the case though, Banks shoves her away a few seconds later, allowing the hot tag off to Bayley so house can be cleaned. Bayley starts throwing suplexes and even knocks Deville off the apron for good measure. A Bayley to Belly gets two on Paige as everything breaks down on the floor. Back in and the Rampaige ends Bayley at 10:14.

Rating: C. Absolution winning is the right call and they’re starting to establish themselves with more defined characters. I could go for Rose as more than the eye candy character but to be fair, what else is she supposed to do? Paige is a good leader and Deville is made to be the tough one so it’s not like the team needs many changes. Then again almost none of this matters until we get to the Rumble but at least the right team won.

We look at Dean Ambrose’s arm being destroyed last week. The injury may keep him out up to nine months.

Renee Young isn’t happy to interview Samoa Joe, who has no remorse for what he did to Dean last week. Joe is ready to take the Intercontinental Title when Reigns comes seeking vengeance.

Video on Kane and Braun Strowman becoming #1 contenders to Brock Lesnar at the Royal Rumble.

Kane vs. Heath Slater

Apparently Rhyno got Slater this match to toughen him up a bit. Merry Christmas buddy. Kane takes him into the corner for some knees to the ribs and there’s the side slam for good measure. Slater bails to the floor for a breather and a pep talk from Rhyno. As you might expect, Kane throws him right back to the floor and it’s time for more pep talking. Back in and Slater’s offense is shrugged off, setting up the chokeslam for the pin at 2:13.

Kane goes after Rhyno post match and a quick flurry is cut off by a chokeslam.

Here’s Curt Hawkins who has to tell himself to face the facts. 2017 hasn’t been his best year but the year isn’t over yet. How about a little Christmas miracle tonight? The open challenge is on.

Finn Balor vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins grabs a quick rollup for two and gets the same result off the same move. Balor calmly kicks him down and hits the Coup de Grace for the pin at 1:30.

The Miztourage sings to Goldust and throw in a DVD of Santa’s Little Helper. Titus Worldwide comes up and Goldust gives them the DVD.

Bray Wyatt talks about how Sister Abigail always hated this time of year. He’s ready to face the Woken Warrior because Matt Hardy is surrounded by the fireflies. Bray is here.

Wyatt heads to the ring but Matt runs in and the fight is on. A Twist of Fate misses and Bray bails to the floor. After threatening to DELETE Bray, Matt throws in some maniacal laughter.

The Bar isn’t happy with having to defend their titles but they’re ready to fight. Sheamus has a gift for Cesaro, including a char containing their catchphrase. The gift: a Dean Ambrose action figure with a missing arm! Cesaro has a gift for Sheamus as well: a Seth Rollins action figure which Sheamus can break just like the real one tonight. There’s more in the box too as Cesaro has gotten him a Jason Jordan figure too. Sheamus: “I don’t want this.” Cesaro says no one wants Jordan so it’s perfect.

Cedric Alexander gets his Cruiserweight Title shot next week.

Enzo Amore/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Akira Tozawa/Mustafa Ali/Cedric Alexander

Miracle on 34^th Street Fight but first Enzo (as Santa, with the other two as his elves) has to run his mouth about Cedric not getting a present on Christmas morning. Even though it’s a street fight, Daivari and Cedric start things off with Alexander cleaning house in short order. Tozawa and Ali take out Daivari and Gulak with dives as we take a break.

Back with Enzo whipping Tozawa back first into a Christmas tree. Tozawa remembers that he’s only fighting Enzo though, meaning the hot tag brings in Ali a few seconds later. The rolling X Factor gets two and there’s the 054 for two with Gulak making the save. Enzo’s candy cane kendo stick is taken away from him and begging off ensues. Gulak runs into Enzo by mistake, setting up a few stick shots to his back. The Lumbar Check ends Daivari at 7:49.

Rating: D+. So, again, why were the tagging in a STREET FIGHT? The match was about what you would expect here and the wrestling really wasn’t all that good. That being said, they did a decent enough job of setting up the title match with Alexander looking strong. This really didn’t do much for me though and felt rather forced, which isn’t the best idea during a comedy match.

Post break Enzo isn’t happy but runs into Nia, now with red and blue hair. It turns out they’re underneath the mistletoe and are about to kiss but Alexa Bliss runs in and needs Nia. Enzo doesn’t look happy.

Reigns is ready to hurt Joe for what he did to Ambrose last week.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe

Reigns is defending and punches Joe in the face at the bell. Joe gets knocked into the ropes and it’s the apron boot for good measure. Back in and Joe grabs a belly to back suplex for two but Reigns snaps off the corner clotheslines. A big boot drops Joe again but he’s right back up with right hands to take us to a break.

We come back with Reigns getting two off a Samoan drop but getting punched in the face some more. It’s already off to the Koquina Clutch but Reigns is just too close to the ropes for the break. Joe takes him outside and the suicide elbow drives Reigns into the barricade. Reigns comes up holding his elbow so we hit the armbar in a logical move. The hold is broken and Reigns unloads in the corner before shoving the referee for the DQ at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This feels like a way to set up a rematch at some point in the future, likely at the Royal Rumble. Joe vs. Reigns is a good feud and it’s made even better when you have two people who can beat the heck out of each other. Working on the arm made sense and tying it back to Ambrose’s injury is a nice idea. Good brawl here, but it’s clear that they’re setting up for something in the future.

Post match Reigns beats on Joe even more, including a steps shot to the arm. Joe avoids a heck of a chair shot and looks a bit shaken up while bailing.

Rollins tells Jordan to bring it tonight and Jordan is ready.

The Miztourage is in the ring to sing about their Secret Santa match. I think you know where this is going.

Braun Strowman vs. Miztourage

The goons are thrown around with ease and the running powerslam ends Dallas at 58 seconds.

Powerslam to Axel, powerslam to Dallas, powerslam to Axel.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for a chat. She’s here tonight to give us the Gift of a Goddess because this has been her year. Bliss has dominated his year like a Jedi from Star Wars (unlike one from the DMV). That brings us to the announcement of the Women’s Royal Rumble, which Bliss takes credit for taking place. Cue Asuka to say she’s entering the Rumble because no one is ready for her. Bliss gets kicked down.

Brock Lesnar is back next week.

Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan

Cesaro and Sheamus are defending. Jordan wrestles Sheamus to the mat to start but the champs take him down with a double hiptoss. Rollins comes in off the hot tag and hits a suicide dive as we take a break. Back with Rollins in trouble as the champs take turns beating him down.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Rollins fights up with some forearms to Cesaro’s head. That’s not enough for the hot tag though as it’s Sheamus cutting him off. A middle rope legdrop gives Sheamus two and we’re back in chinlock. Sheamus gets frustrated at Rollins fighting up again so Seth is sent outside for a clothesline from Cesaro. Jordan actually makes a save, earning himself a hard trip into the barricade.

Seth gets in a few shots but there’s no one to tag. Instead it’s the Irish Curse for two on Seth, followed by a hard knee to the face for the same. Jordan charges in for a save and the hot tag brings him back in. Everything breaks down and a pair of something like the Demolition Decapitators get two on Jason.

Cesaro unloads with right hands and a Brogue Kick takes Rollins down. The Cloverleaf sends Jordan scurrying over to the ropes and the champs are frustrated. Super White Noise is broken up though and Rollins takes Cesaro out to the floor. Back in, Jordan’s wheelbarrow neckbreaker is good for the pin and the title at 15:24.

Rating: C+. Well that was unexpected. I get the idea that it’s the first Christmas episode in twenty five years but that’s still not exactly something I would have guessed. It’s interesting to see where it’s going though and Jordan FINALLY has a win, albeit as a tag wrestler again (it’s almost like he shouldn’t have been moved out of his team in the first place). This is one of those things where I’m going to need more information, but at least it worked at the moment.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was a weird hybrid between a stand alone show that felt like something special and a show that actually advanced the stories. Then again, we have to get ready for the Rumble and they really don’t have time to burn off a show, even if it’s something like this. Hopefully people actually watched the show, but they’re going to be in a stretch to get much of an audience. Not a bad show though and better than I was expecting.

Results

John Cena b. Elias – Attitude Adjustment

Hideo Itami b. Brian Kendrick – GTS

Absolution b. Bayley/Mickie James/Sasha Banks – Rampaige to Bayley

Kane b. Heath Slater – Chokeslam

Finn Balor b. Curt Hawkins – Coup de Grace

Akira Tozawa/Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali b. Enzo Amore/Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari – Lumbar Check to Daivari

Samoa Joe b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns shoved the referee

Braun Strowman b. Miztourage – Running powerslam to Dallas

Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan b. The Bar – Wheelbarrow neckbreaker to Cesaro

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 21, 2003
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jonathan Coachman

So Kane is still the big monster, even though we already have HHH as the evil World Champion. As usual, this show seemingly has no idea how to push a face other than Steve Austin, who might be in line to be fired tonight. The good thing is we should be starting the build towards Summerslam soon, meaning we can get away from these big TV shows. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane setting JR on fire last week, because that’s the kind of thing going on around here. More importantly though, Austin might be fired by Linda McMahon, because we don’t have enough of that family.

Opening sequence.

Eric Bischoff is in the ring and brags about Austin being fired tonight but Linda cuts him off. She needs Eric to listen up because she’s only going to say this once (I’m sure there will be half a dozen replays though so he’s covered): Kane and Kane alone is responsible for his actions. JR hasn’t pressed charges against Kane but Kane will have to undergo extensive psychological counseling and is under house arrest. That being said, he can still come here and earn a living, which is why he’ll be facing Rob Van Dam tonight. I’m…..really not sure that’s how that works.

Anyway, Bischoff still wants Austin fired so here’s Austin in person. He won’t apologize for anything he’s done in this role because he’s always thought it was the right thing to do. If JR doesn’t want to press charges, Austin will beat Kane up himself. I’m sure there’s a rule against beating up someone under house arrest.

Linda doesn’t think either of them have done anything wrong but Austin can’t keep beating people up. If he wants to keep his job, he won’t be putting his hands on anyone anymore, unless he’s physically provoked. Austin says he has a lot to think about but Linda says if Austin steps down, Bischoff is in full control. He’ll think about it, but Linda can only give him a week. As for tonight, they both have the week off. The Goodbye Song is sung and beer is consumed.

Trish Stratus/Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly/Victoria

Molly and Gail start us off but thankfully it’s off to Trish a few seconds in. Lawler talks about being distracted due to JR. Just to be clear, JERRY LAWLER is talking about not paying enough attention to women’s wrestling. While that one settles in, Molly hits her handspring elbow on Trish to what sounds more like a golf clap. Victoria’s slingshot flip legdrop gets two but an enziguri drops Molly.

Gail comes back in with a high crossbody for no cover, instead botching the run up the corner. Maybe she’s slippery due to the big beer stain on the mat? Or she’s just not that great yet? Everything breaks down and Gail gets one off the hurricanrana. Victoria rips Gail’s top off but Trish kicks Gail in the head by mistake, giving Molly the pin.

Rating: D-. Maybe it’s just too early in her run but Gail is almost shockingly limited and flat out bad so far. Her offense is limited and she has no character to speak of, which somehow puts her on the low end of the division. Bad and sloppy match here, but that’s what you have to expect from a women’s match around this time.

Terri is waiting for Kane to arrive when Chris Jericho comes in to ask why she’s not talking about his match with Shawn Michaels. Because that’s not her assignment? He sings a bit, which is likely why this is missing from the Network version.

Austin and Bischoff run into each other in the parking lot. An argument over what ended WCW ensues.

Here’s Evolution for a chat, debuting the Motorhead version of their theme music in the process. Orton talks about Mick Foley wanting him to make a name for himself, which Orton did by throwing Foley down a flight of stairs. He officially dubs himself the Legend Killer.

Randy Orton vs. Val Venis

HHH is on commentary. Venis takes over with a hammerlock to start and ties the arm up with his feet. Orton shoves him back as HHH wonders why JR didn’t stop, drop and roll. Back up and Flair grabs Venis’ foot, allowing Orton to hit his dropkick. Val makes a comeback after a full ten seconds on defense, including a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. HHH panicking for a split second on the near fall is a nice touch. The Money Shot misses and it’s the RKO for the pin.

Rating: D. Just another quick win for Orton and that’s what this should have been. Orton gets to look good (albeit not too good) in a showcase match, which hopefully leads to something in the future. Having him out there showcasing his athleticism and the good finisher is all he needs right now though and this is a lot better than having him on the losing end of tag matches.

Post match Evolution gets in the ring with HHH bragging about their high level of awesome but Goldberg returns for the first time in a few weeks. Goldberg talks about HHH not looking invincible but just another victim. So now he’s Taz? Goldberg says HHH is next, thankfully keeping his talking short and to the point. Evolution bails of course.

Post break, Evolution has a plan, which seems to focus on Orton.

Wrestlemania Recall: Michaels vs. Jericho.

Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho

They go technical to start with Shawn getting in a hammerlock before tossing Jericho outside. Back in and Jericho headlocks him down as the slow pace continues. A pinfall reversal sequence leads to a Shawn headlock as the announcers talk about Kane and JR some more.

Jericho finally gets in a backbreaker and blocks skinning the cat, only to get low bridged out to the floor. A springboard crossbody drops Jericho again and Shawn decks an invading Flair for good measure. The Walls of Jericho go on though and we take a break. Back with Shawn hammering away in the corner, making me think they wasted a bit of a moment with that break. A big backdrop puts Shawn on the floor and it’s Flair getting in a few cheap shots as only he can.

Back in (again) and Shawn dropkicks him out of the air for a double knockdown. It’s Shawn up first with some clothesline and a catapult into the corner for two. Jericho is right back with a suplex and Lionsault for two. A top rope superplex is broken up though and Shawn drops the top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music misses and the referee turns his head for no reason other than allowing Jericho to get in a low blow. Jericho grabs a chair but gets it superkicked into his face but the referee was with Flair. The nitwit referee goes to yell at Flair, allowing Orton to come in with an RKO onto the chair. It’s only good for two but Jericho grabs the Walls and Shawn (eventually) taps. That’s certainly better than the RKO getting the pin.

Rating: B-. This was more long than good as the interference took away too much focus from the match. If this leads to Orton beating Shawn then things are a little better, but for not it feels like they’re just wasting what could have been a major pay per view match. Now that being said, what we got was good, but these two are capable of so much more and it’s disappointing that they didn’t approach that level. At least Jericho got the win though, which should do him some good in the near future.

We look back at the opening segment.

Here’s Lance Storm to show off his talents to all the Hollywood elite tonight, including Rob Reiner in the front row. Storm reads off a statement about why he would be a great box office attraction but we cut to Kane, in shackles, arriving.

Ivory and Terri entertained some troops earlier this week.

Intercontinental Title: Test vs. Booker T.

Booker is defending and slugs away to start as Christian is shown watching in the back. A knee to the ribs cuts Booker off and Test gets in a few right hands. Test stops for some exercises because the Scott Steiner feud is still a thing. Booker elbows him in the face as Lawler AGAIN asks about JR pressing charges against Kane. This is probably the tenth time tonight and I have no idea how much more there is to say about it.

Test charges into a spinebuster but runs Booker over. Cue Steiner with a chair but it’s only so Stacy can come out and give him a lap dance on the stage. The distraction (with a great view) lets Booker grab a rollup for two. Not that it matters as the Bookend connects to retain the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D. I had no issues with Stacy here but egads why is this feud continuing? Weren’t we supposed to get Nash vs. Test? Booker winning is the right idea and it’s nice to see him getting some success but even he can’t get much out of Test. Hopefully this story wraps up soon as it’s really not getting any better.

Some wrestlers are talking about Kane in the back while Hurricane and Rosey talk about Kane going insane. Hurricane thinks Rosey is a superhero in training and Goldust comes up to explain the joke.

Video on Kane vs. Rob Van Dam.

Kane vs. Rob Van Dam

Kane has to be unshackled. Van Dam charges to the ring and kicks Kane outside for a big dive before the bell. Kane takes over and beats Van Dam up the aisle before loading up a chokeslam off the stage. Agents come out for the save and break it up but here’s Linda to really make things serious. Kane grabs her by the throat with Lawler failing to make a save. Everyone else is knocked down and Kane Tombstones Linda on the stage to end the show. The bell never rang so no match.

Overall Rating: D. So the Kane Show continues and that part is working fairly well actually. There’s a story there (and if you don’t know it, give Lawler five seconds and he’ll talk about it again) and Kane is selling the heck out of it, but where is it supposed to lead? He’s not getting the World Title and the top face on Raw (and really the only one who hasn’t been destroyed) is busy with HHH. There’s really just squashing Van Dam or Booker T. and neither of those are going to mean anything. Kane needs someone to destroy and Linda isn’t going to be enough.

As for the rest of the show, it was the usual Raw drek. The wrestling ranges from Shawn vs. Jericho being underwhelming (but still good) to everything else being pretty disastrous. There’s some stuff on here which could be good but they need to actually have some watchable matches for a change. A hot midcard feud would help too, though we seem destined for Evolution dominating and Kane running through the already damaged face pool. Maybe Summerslam can help, but not if it’s just more of the same.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 18, 2017
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

We’re officially past the last pay per view of the year and that means it’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble. Tonight we might find out what’s going on with the Universal Title match as Brock Lesnar is here and Braun Strowman and Kane are both ready to meet him face to face. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Kane vs. Strowman going to a double countout in a #1 contenders match.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to get things going. He recaps last week’s main event as well (they really need to stop doing that just after we watched a video saying the same thing) and promises to solve the problem by the end of the night. Strowman comes out to say he should get the shot, followed by Kane to do the same. Before anything can happen, Paul Heyman comes out to say Lesnar needs to be involved in this. Brock hits the ring and Angle speeds through an announcement of the triple threat at the Rumble so he can get out. Lesnar cleans house and F5’s Kane.

Seth Rollins vs. Samoa Joe

Hang on as Jason Jordan comes out and says he should be the one facing Samoa Joe, which he’s been wanting to do for two weeks. Rollins says he doesn’t care but here’s Joe to say fight each other and the winner fights him later tonight.

Seth Rollins vs. Jason Jordan

Joe is at ringside. Jordan wrestles him to the mat for a bit until Rollins superkicks him in the ribs. A clothesline knocks Jordan at Joe’s feet and we take a break. Back with Jordan working on the back off some Irish whips into the corner. It’s off to a chinlock with a knee in the back before the running shoulder in the corner gets two.

Jordan gets in another suplex and we take a break. Back again with Rollins getting in some offense of his own, including the springboard clothesline. Jordan clotheslines him down again but gets knocked outside for a suicide dive. The second springboard clothesline is countered into rolling northern lights suplexes for two more as this keeps going.

Jordan takes him up top but gets shoved down, setting up the frog splash for two more. They head outside with the Wind-Up Knee smashing into Jordan’s face. Seth throws Jordan into Joe before superkicking the Samoan down. Back in and the Wind-Up Knee finishes Jordan at 19:49.

Rating: B-. WAY longer than necessary here and another match that showcased the problem with Jordan: he can have good matches but he’s one of the most annoying, whiny characters around. The good thing is they seem primed to turn him heel (the right move) so it might get better, but for now he’s being rather annoying.

Post match Joe lays out both guys. Booker: “It’s called a love tap in our business.”

Back from a break with Rollins, Jordan and Dean Ambrose saying they want a piece of Samoa Joe. Angle makes a six man tag match with the three of them facing Joe/the Bar.

We look back at Matt Hardy being woken.

Bray Wyatt wants to know why people are drawn to Matt. Is it the childish laugh? Or maybe the funny faces he makes? Bray is here to make sure that the right people get hurt, like Matt and all of the fans. He starts singing before saying she is sorry because the Great War must end.

Finn Balor vs. Miztourage

Bo Dallas starts for the team as the announcers can’t stop laughing at each other in that forced way that only they can do. Balor takes care of him in short order so it’s off to Curtis Axel for some stomping in the corner. Axel right hands Balor down and continues his variety of stomping, followed by some knees from Dallas. Finn knocks Axel off the top and loads up the Coup de Grace, only to have Dallas come in for the double beatdown and the DQ at 5:44.

Rating: D+. I can live with a loss like this as you don’t want Balor to be that much of a world beater. Miz should be back soon so we can do the real feud, which should be Balor destroying him in all of five minutes. If nothing else this gives Balor a much needed win in a feud as they try to rebuild him. Granted that won’t help if he just keeps losing but it’s better than nothing.

Post match Hideo Itami makes his main roster debut for the save. I love it when WWE basically admits that 205 Live means nothing.

Hideo Itami/Finn Balor vs. Miztourage

Joined in progress after a break Itami working on Dallas’ arm and handing it back to Balor, who gets caught in a backbreaker. We hit the chinlock for a long while with Cole explaining Itami’s WWE history (minus the series of injuries). Back up and Itami gets the hot tag to clean house, including a running knee for two on Dallas. Balor takes Dallas down, leaving Itami to GTS Axel for the pin at 4:29.

Rating: C-. Itami is a rather small guy but it’s cool to see him thrown in there with the heavyweights. If nothing else it continues WWE’s rather hilarious attempts to pretend like 205 Live needs to exist, given the fact that Itami just beat up two heavyweights with practically no problem. That being said, it would have been interesting to see him debut next week in Chicago and hitting the GTS there, assuming it didn’t set off two hours of CM Punk chants.

Cedric Alexander is only going to be overlooking Drew when he’s looking over him with his hand raised in victory.

Drew Gulak vs. Cedric Alexander

The winner gets Enzo Amore for the title at some point in the future. Before the match, Enzo talks about his microphone being a lightsaber. Drew: “If we’re talking Star Wars, I’ve always considered myself a Jar Jar Binks.” The PowerPoint is loaded up but Cedric cuts him off as you knew he would. Cedric starts fast and sends Drew to the floor for a big flip dive.

Drew suplexes him over the top but gets pulled out as well, leaving them both in a heap as we take a break. Back with Gulak in control as Enzo keeps making up names for Drew. A chinlock sets up a pinfall reversal sequence, followed by Drew walking into a C4 for two. Gulak comes back with something like a sitting STF but Cedric makes the rope. Enzo looks at his phone and leaves, much to Gulak’s dismay. The springboard clothesline (the third of the night) into the Lumbar Check for the pin and the title shot at 12:52.

Rating: C. This was any given 205 Live main event and while completely acceptable, it was again mostly about Enzo. Cedric winning is the right call (despite Gulak rocketing up the entertainment charts as of late) but good night he better win the title. Enzo has destroyed everything he touches as of late and a change is needed.

Post break Enzo comes up to see Nia Jax, who seems interested in a little alone time. Gulak, with a bloody piece of gauze in his nose, comes in to ask if they can go over what happened. Enzo shouts that he did a lot of things wrong and leaves.

Asuka vs. Alicia Fox

They circle each other for a bit until the screechy Fox bails from the threat of a cross armbreaker. Back in and Fox’s northern lights suplex sets up a chinlock, only to have Asuka kick her in the head. The armbreaker makes Fox tap at 3:43.

Rating: D. Is there a reason Asuka isn’t just mauling people like Fox? Since WWE doesn’t let Asuka actually beat anyone of note, we’re stuck with her having issues with Fox and Dana Brooke. I mean….they clearly get the idea of her dominating everything but she doesn’t actually dominate most of the time. Why is this so complicated? Just let her fight a name already.

The Bar/Samoa Joe vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Jason Jordan

Jordan tags himself in and gets to face Sheamus, who clotheslines his head off. The triple stomping sets up a Sheamus knee drop for two as Jordan is in trouble. Back from a break with Rollins in trouble this time, including a Demolition Decapitator for two. The Irish Curse keeps Seth down but a DDT gives him a little hope. Joe breaks up the hot tag attempt though and hits the corner enziguri.

Sheamus goes shoulder first into the post but Rollins still can’t make the tag. Everything breaks down with a big brawl on the floor with Ambrose cleaning house. Cesaro cuts off another hot tag attempt but Dean comes in anyway. A big suicide dive cuts everyone off but Dean is holding his elbow. The referee calls the doctor over and a very quick Brogue Kick ends Rollins at 13:30.

Rating: C. Well that’s not good. They went straight to the finish and while they did keep the camera on Dean longer than they usually would in an injury, that seemed a bit too realistic. Hopefully he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to miss any time, though given how things have gone for the Shield it wouldn’t surprise me.

Stephanie arrives. Oh come on now we were doing so well without her.

Matt Hardy is playing chess with a goldfish named Napoleon. After beating the fish and agreeing to a rematch, Matt talks about Bray Wyatt and how WWE is like a chess board. Matt goes back to the board (whose pieces have been moved) and promises to delete Bray and Sister Abigail.

Joe and the Bar attack Rollins and Ambrose, including crushing the bad arm with an anvil case.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Revival

Slater gets punched in the face to start as we see Titus Worldwide, including a note taking Dana Brooke now in black with glasses, watching in the back. Wilder and Slater bang heads but Wilder is up in time to pull Rhyno off the apron. The Shatter Machine ends Slater at 3:04.

Rating: D+. Pretty much a squash here but it’s just nice to see Revival back and being dominant again. They’re still awesome and could be a good addition to the title scene, assuming they don’t break down again in all of five minutes. Slater and Rhyno are good for something like this and that’s all this needed to be.

Post break Angle comes up to Slater and Rhyno, saying they need to step it up if they want opportunities next year. Slater panics but Rhyno says his attitude needs to change and has an idea of how to fix it. Slater: “Is this going to hurt?”

Elias is in the ring and talks about being an inspiration to Tom Brady. This turns into a list of insults about Brady as Elias continues to know how to work a crowd. Angle is scared of him and it’s going to be even worse when he’s in the Royal Rumble. Elias is about to sing a song about Roger Goodell but Sasha Banks’ entrance cuts him off.

Sasha Banks/Mickie James/Bayley vs. Absolution

Banks throws Paige around to start but gets caught in the wrong corner. Absolution takes turns on her with Paige stomping her down. Paige gets tossed to the side though and the bot tag brings in Bayley as everything breaks down. The fight heads outside until Banks hits her top rope double knees on Deville, only to have the rest of Absolution come in for the brawl. The referee throws it out at 3:08.

Rating: D. That ending screams a post match angle and I’m pretty sure that’s where we’re going. I mean, we’re less than two months away from the Royal Rumble and a women’s version has been discussed. They certainly have the numbers to pull it off at this point and with Stephanie around, it sounds like announcement time.

Post match the brawl is on with the rest of the roster (including Brooke changing from her street clothes to ring gear and changing her hair) coming out. Cue Stephanie to talk about the Women’s Revolution and how important it is. We hear about all the things the women have done and the women’s Royal Rumble is announced to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show felt very long and that’s not a good thing. The announcement at the end helped a lot (save for Stephanie’s regular screeching and everyone stopping their hatred because of her mere presence) but the wrestling wasn’t great and it felt like it was eighteen hours long again. I do however take some solace in the fact that WWE continues to treat 205 Live like it’s nothing, with Itami debuting and the #1 contenders match taking place on Raw. This wasn’t a very good show, but it’s Rumble time and that means things will get good in a hurry.

Results

Seth Rollins b. Jason Jordan – Wind-Up Knee

Finn Balor b. Miztourage via DQ when Axel and Dallas double teamed Balor

Finn Balor/Hideo Itami b. Miztourage – GTS to Axel

Cedric Alexander b. Drew Gulak – Lumbar Check

Asuka b. Alicia Fox – Cross armbreaker

The Bar/Samoa Joe b. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose/Jason Jordan – Brogue Kick to Rollins

Revival b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Shatter Machine to Slater

Mickie James/Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Absolution via DQ when Absolution triple teamed Banks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 14, 2003
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

So Kane is running around like a monster again and that could mean a lot of things. Well more likely it means Kane gets a big push and doesn’t win anything of note, but it’s still better than Kevin Nash. We also have Evolution back on the rise, albeit without any major challenger for HHH. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane being motivated by Steve Austin last week, turning him back into the monster in the process.

Opening sequence.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with a ticked off Chris Jericho. Enough is enough and it’s time for something to be done tonight. Raw has broken down into chaos over the last few weeks with superstars being attacked, grown men being terrified and even Jericho himself being scared. There’s one man who could save things though and that man is his guest tonight: Eric Bischoff, sporting a neck brace.

Jericho praises Bischoff’s courage for coming out here with Eric saying there was no way he was taking the suggested eight weeks off. Bischoff is back to deal with Kane, who has been running amok. He even has exclusive footage from last week with Kane attacking Rob Van Dam. As for tonight, Eric has sent JR to Connecticut to interview Kane but here’s Austin to cut him off. Austin was ready to deal with Kane tonight and if that means beating him up, so be it.

Bischoff doesn’t think much of the plan and puts the whole thing on Austin’s head for berating Kane a few weeks ago. Austin is ready to leave with no violence but Jericho opens his mouth and calls him worthless, earning a Stunner to give the fans something to cheer for. This was nearly fifteen minutes long and went pretty much nowhere.

Trish Stratus/Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Steven Richards/Test/Victoria

This is supposed to be a fair match? Steiner and Richards start things off, meaning it’s an early belly to belly suplex into the pushups. The women come in and Trish Matrixes into the Chick Kick for two. Test trips Trish up from the apron though and comes in for a clothesline. Victoria’s slingshot suplex gets two but a neckbeaker gets Trish out of trouble. It’s off to Nash, now billed as Big Nasty, for a big boot to Test’s face. The Jackknife ends Richards.

Rating: D. So we were really supposed to buy Test and Steven Richards as a match for two former World Champions? That’s the best they can do for a midcard match around here? The women were trying here but there was too much bad going around to really allow this to work. Well that and the uninteresting story and trying to set up what seems to be a Test vs. Nash feud.

Jericho demands Bischoff do something about Austin.

Lance Storm vs. Maven

Before the match, Storm threatens to sue the fans for chanting BORING. As weird as this might sound, Storm might be too boring to make this work. They hit the mat to start with the boring chants beginning early. Maven manages to botch a hiptoss so Storm goes down for two anyway. Storm gets all fired up and throws off his elbow pad as Lawler points out that no one has ever chanted BORING at him. We hit an armbar as the crowd just keeps dying.

Storm grabs a long chinlock to try and set something up, only to have Maven fight up with some weak clotheslines. Maven’s high crossbody is rolled thru but Maven rolls thru that for a sloppy two. The announcers aren’t exactly hiding how bad this is as Storm gets two of his own off a superkick. The Maple Leaf goes on and Maven grabs the rope before reversing the unbroken hold into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: F. It takes a lot to bring down Lance Storm, who is one of the most technically sound wrestlers you’ll find. Maven managed to do it though and that can’t be a huge surprise. Basically WWE is having a guy who would be just getting started on the indy circuit to come on Raw and have high level matches. That’s just dumb thinking and I have no idea why WWE kept putting him out there like this. You have a developmental system for a reason.

JR is ready to interview Kane.

Here’s La Resistance for a chat. They’re glad Bischoff is back because Austin held them off the show last week. Today is Bastille Day so let’s hit that French National Anthem. They’re still at it after a break until all three Dudleys, carrying the American flag, come in for the save. Grenier takes a 3D and the Dudleyz sing the Star Spangled Banner because the French National Anthem sucks.

Dudley Boyz vs. Evolution

Elimination rules. Bubba and Flair get things going with a backdrop sending Ric into his swearing fit. Ric flips Spike off to bring him in and a single slap gives us the Flair Flop. A dropkick makes things even worse but Flair pokes him in the eye to stop the nonsense. Orton comes in for his own dropkick which nearly clears Spike’s head. HHH gets in a few shots before it’s back to Orton, who is taken down this time.

Spike’s top rope double stomp connects and everything breaks down. The Dudley Dog is countered into an RKO for the first elimination and it’s looking bad for the brothers. A Doomsday Device plants Orton and Bubba splashes the other two in the corner. Maybe it’s not looking so bad. There’s What’s Up to HHH and a 3D to Orton (who shakes his head no as he’s falling into the cutter for a great touch) but Flair makes a save.

HHH is back up with a French flag shot to D-Von though and the elimination leaves Bubba all alone. D-Von leaves but Bubba calls him back to get the table. Dude GET YOUR OWN TABLES FOR ONCE! Referees cut him off though and we take a break. Back with Flair having to let go of a reversed Figure Four. Bubba fights up and hits HHH low, followed by a Bubba Bomb to Orton. HHH is laid out on a table at ringside but Flair makes a save, allowing the Pedigree to connect. Orton gets the final pin to wrap things up.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t much but they FINALLY gave Orton something here as he scored all three pins. They need to do something to make him look like a big deal and while this isn’t enough to pull the job off, it’s certainly a step in the right direction. Let him pick up the Intercontinental Title in the near future and things will be just fine for him.

Rob Van Dam tells Bischoff he wants Kane so the match is made for next week. Bischoff tells him to proceed with caution but Van Dam says he started this with Kane and next week he’ll finish it.

Jericho is gathering signatures on a petition to get rid of Austin. A bunch of people have signed but Tommy Dreamer seems hesitant.

Before the next match, Teddy Long says he and Rodney Mack signed the petition to get rid of Austin. There should be a black man replacing him, but Teddy can’t do it himself due to obligations to Players Inc. He has other ideas though, like Snoop Dogg or Johnnie Cochran.

Rodney Mack vs. Rosey

Rosey shoulders him down and hits a corner splash but Long breaks up the Samoan drop with a low blow to give Mack the fast pin.

Post match Hurricane comes in with a missile dropkick on Mack.

Evolution signs the petition.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T. vs. Christian

Booker is defending in the feud that won’t die. Some early forearms have Christian in trouble as Coach dares to question the power of the peepulation. A missile dropkick attempt is broken up and Booker is sent into the corner. Christian whips him into the steps for two and it’s time for the chinlock with a knee in Booker’s back. Booker fights up with a spinning kick to the face and a spinebuster for two as Lawler sings Christian’s praises.

We get a ref bump (here we go) and Christian hits the Unprettier for no count. A second ref comes in for the two and Christian isn’t happy with the near fall. He makes up for it with a rollup while grabbing ropes and the trunks for the pin and the title. That’s all well and good but the first referee gets up and says not so fast. Cue Austin to bring in a THIRD ref and restart the match so Booker can hit a quick ax kick to retain.

Rating: C-. I could live with this a little more if the matches weren’t so bad but these have been the very definition of average at best. The guys don’t have chemistry together and it becomes more clear every week. It also doesn’t help that there are a bunch of people who could use an Intercontinental Title feud (or even a match or two) and we’re stuck with this stuff over and over. It’s not awful but it’s been covered quite thoroughly.

Post match Christian beats up a referee so Austin runs back in for a Stunner.

Bischoff gets a call from Linda McMahon.

Kane gives JR a present but it’s left on a table for now.

Women’s Title: Gail Kim vs. Molly Holly

Gail is defending. They trade wristlocks to start with Gail wristdragging her out of the corner. Lawler asks Coach what he knows about Gail’s background. Coach: “Well I know she looks good.” I know it’s only been a few weeks but they probably should have more than just that to go on. Molly gets rolled up for two as Lawler talks about liking Molly’s high estrogen levels. Gail gets in a dropkick and a hurricanrana, followed by a second hurricanrana to retain.

Rating: D-. The commentary actually summed up the problem with Gail, and most of the women on the roster for that matter. Can someone tell me any details about almost any of the women? Molly is annoyed at almost everyone, Victoria is basically crazy, Trish is plucky, Jacqueline is loud, Ivory is….well her name is Ivory, and Gail is an attractive rookie. Am I really missing anything important? The match was terrible too as Gail showed the ability to do fewer moves than a banged up Kevin Nash.

JR opens his gift and finds….a gas can. If he makes fun of Kane once, he’ll be set on fire. Since security around here sucks, we go ahead with the interview. After JR sucks up to avoid a bad case of being burned alive, we see the same video that opened the show. Kane’s reactions to that: anger and hatred. He doesn’t understand why so many people want to see his face because it brings him pain.

JR brings up the lack of scars or horrible skin that Kane always talks about. Kane says JR sounds like the doctors from when he was a kid who told him to go see a shrink. The towel comes off as Kane keeps ranting about how much of a monster he is. JR says he sees a man who needs help so Kane asks him for help.

We get some Oklahoma psychiatry with JR saying no one cares what Kane looks like. That sets him off and screaming ensues, only to have Austin come into the arena to calm Kane down. I mean, I’m not sure how well that’s going to work when Austin is in Indianapolis and Kane is in Connecticut but I’m no Austin.

Kane yells at Austin and JR before punching the latter down. JR is lit on fire (I wonder if it would be wrong to ask him which kind of barbecue sauce would go best on him.) and put out rather slowly. Bischoff comes out to say this is Austin’s fault so Linda will be here to fire him next week. So yeah, a guy was just lit on fire (didn’t need to happen as Kane was nailing it before things got silly) but let’s cut back to the bickering bosses to end the show. You know, because THE GUY BEING LIT ON FIRE is totally forgettable.

Overall Rating: D. There are moments of acceptable on here but egads the bad stuff is really bad. It’s a bunch of horrible wrestling but the worse part is the lack of much of a direction. Why am I supposed to be interested in Test vs. Nash, Rosey vs. Mack and Storm vs. being boring? That’s really as good as they can get at this point? You can’t throw Goldberg out there for a squash just to wake the crowd up a little bit? A pay per view might help, but above all else they need something interesting just to give me something to look forward to on these shows. As usual, really boring show with almost nothing worth seeing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: December 11, 2017
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s officially time to start getting ready for the Royal Rumble as we have a #1 contenders match to crown a new challenger to Brock Lesnar. Tonight it’s Braun Strowman vs. Kane for that title shot in a match that seems to be so simple that there almost has to be something screwy going on. Let’s get to it.

The narrated recaps are back, this time setting up tonight’s three singles matches between the Shield and Samoa Joe/The Bar.

Samoa Joe is in the ring to talk about how the Shield has taken out so many people over the years. He’s not impressed though because he’s already taken care of Reigns and Rollins and tonight he’ll add Ambrose to the list. For now though, he wants Reigns to come out here like a man. We cut to the back where Rollins sends Ambrose to get Roman. Dude go get him yourself. Joe goes on about how no one can face him until Reigns finally joins his partners in the back, only to come out a few seconds later. The fight is on but here are the Bar for the beatdown. Shield comes in, only to get beaten down in short order.

Bayley/Mickie James vs. Mandy Rose/Paige

Before the match, Absolution says they’re here to destroy everything and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Bayley and Mandy start things off but Paige is in almost immediately. Mandy breaks up a double suplex but Absolution is sent outside. That means a double dive from the apron and we take a break.

Back with Bayley fighting out of a chinlock but getting kneed in the chest for two. Paige hits a running knee of her own and mocks Bayley not being able to get to the corner. You really can see how much more experienced she is than either Mandy or Sonya. Bayley rolls away and the hot tag brings in Mickie for some house cleaning. A flapjack and top rope Thesz press gets two on Mandy as everything breaks down. Paige kicks Mickie in the head though and Mandy steals the pin at 8:22.

Rating: C-. Absolution continues to roll, as they should, but that pre-match promo is a great reason why the division has a lot of its problems. The speaking in catchphrases and awfully scripted lines takes me out of a lot of the promos and it’s getting worse and worse. If you really can’t have them say “we’re Absolution and we’re awesome”, maybe it’s time you found a different way to teach these women to talk.

Clash of Champions preview.

Bray Wyatt is here but Matt Hardy is WOKEN.

Post break, Wyatt talks about how there will always be darkness vs. light but Matt, with a WOKEN graphic (erg), says the Great War has gone on for eons. They both talk about being light and dark with Matt saying he’s met Sister Abigail before when they walked hand in hand, admiring the Gardens of Babylon. The Woken Warriors are preparing for battle against the Wyatt swarm and they shall delete. A laugh off ensues, going on so long that it becomes funny.

We look back at Nia Jax having a thing for Enzo Amore.

Enzo is admiring his Cruiserweight Championship when a suited Drew Gulak comes in. Tonight there is going to be another fatal four way with the winner getting to face Gulak next week in a #1 contenders match. Enzo mentions Jax and Gulak is rather confused. Drew says he gets it before saying that was Enzo trying to teach him to be ready for anything.

Finn Balor vs. Curtis Axel

Axel mocks Finn’s entrance and THE BRACE IS OFF! Bo Dallas gets in a cheap shot to start and we’re ready to go after a pre-match beatdown. Curtis gets in an early Hennig necksnap and cranks on the neck. Balor pops up, hits the shotgun dropkick and finishes Axel with the Coup de Grace at 1:39.

Kane is ready to enter the abyss with a fellow monster. He’ll climb back out alone though.

Seth Rollins vs. Sheamus

Seth wastes no time in knocking him outside for a suicide dive. They get back in with Sheamus hammering away to take over with the power offense. Sheamus misses a kick in the corner though as Booker rips on CrossFit. A Blockbuster connects and Sheamus is knocked outside again, only to knee Seth down as we take a break. Back with Sheamus holding a bad looking chinlock before Sheamus starts in on the knee.

We hit a modified Brock Lock before Seth tries a hurricane. That’s quickly countered into a Cloverleaf which is countered into a small package for two. Seth gets two more off a DDT, followed by the low superkick for the same. Sheamus goes after the knee but gets caught in the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for a very delayed two. The knee is shot though and Rollins can’t follow up. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll but misses the Brogue Kick. Seth’s Wind-Up knee is good for the pin at 13:47.

Rating: B-. And so, they have another match. These two and their respective partners have been having these same matches for what feels like forever now and there’s no reason to believe they’re going to stop anytime soon. Just mix things up a bit or (just work with me here), FIND SOMEONE NEW FOR THEM TO FEUD AGAINST. I know that’s crazy talk but it just might work.

Ambrose’s strategy for tonight: avoid getting kicked in the face and avoid the Koquina Clutch.

Ariya Daivari vs. Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander vs. Tony Nese

The winner gets Gulak, on commentary here, next week. Cedric and Tony slug it out to start before heading outside so Ali can hit a good looking flip dive off the top. Back in and Daivari hammers away on Cedric as Gulak won’t answer if he’ll lay down for Enzo should he get the title shot.

Nese comes back in but can’t hit a pumphandle slam on Ali. Daivari hits Nese by mistake but Ali DDT’s Alexander to put all four down. Back from a break with Ali fighting out of a chinlock, only to get pulled right back down. The fans are almost eerily silent because we’re in a rest hold in a four way. Ali’s rolling X Factor gets two with Nese making the save. Nese gets dropped for the 054 with Cedric making a save of his own this time.

Cedric and Ali slug it out until a Lumbar Check plants Ali. Daivari tries to steal the pin, only to have Cedric pull him out as well. Nese adds a big flip dive to the two of them, followed by the running knee. Ali gets in a save of his own but Alexander cleans house, capped off by a Lumbar Check to end Daivari at 13:02.

Rating: C. I can’t get over that chinlock eating up so much time in the middle. That being said, I’m very happy with Cedric winning, even if I can’t imagine him winning the title whenever he faces Enzo. Not a bad match here, but longer than it needed to be, which is often a bigger problem than being bad.

Post break, Gulak comes up to Enzo and says he’ll win next week then go on to become champion. It’s just some friendly banter but Enzo doesn’t like it, saying Gulak works for him. Enzo says there’s one word to describe the PowerPoint presentations, but Gulak says that word is informative. Nia comes up and says she and Enzo should talk when he’s not busy. Gulak: “Informative.”

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. Cesaro

Reigns is defending and starts fast with uppercuts and clotheslines. They fight to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Cesaro cranking on the arm after swinging it into the barricade for a sick thud during the commercial. Reigns fights out with a backslide for two, followed by a rollup. That’s reversed into a Fujiwara armbar and then a regular armbar. Reigns fights up again and hits the apron kick to the face for two, only to get pulled into a Crossface.

Reigns reverses into a Samoan drop for two, only to be sent HARD into the post. It doesn’t seem to matter that much though as Reigns scores with a Superman punch off the apron. The arm won’t let him follow up properly though, allowing Cesaro to grab another Crossface. The Swing is reversed into a sitout powerbomb for two more but Reigns can’t follow up. Cesaro slugs away in the corner but the Neutralizer is countered with a backdrop, followed by the spear to retain the title at 16:53.

Rating: B+. It’s a long match but it actually needed a little more time. I would have liked a lot more of Reigns fighting back and something better than “spear, ow my arm, pin”. Cesaro working on the arm for that long looked like it was going somewhere but then they just went to the finish. That being said, they beat the heck out of each other for a long time and it was a heck of a match. Just have a better finish and it’s a classic.

Strowman is ready to go to the Royal Rumble.

Alicia Fox vs. Asuka

And no match as Absolution has attacked Fox. Absolution jumps Asuka as well with the rest of the division running out for the save.

Jason Jordan still wants a match with Samoa Joe but angle turns him down again. Angle says he’ll get there eventually but it’s when Angle says so. Jordan: “Ok Kurt.”

Dean Ambrose vs. Samoa Joe

Jordan comes out to watch from the stage, allowing Ambrose to jump a distracted Joe. A crossbody bounces off of Joe so he stomps away for a bit. Dean goes after the knee and takes it to the floor but gets sent into the steps as we take a break. Back with Joe missing the backsplash but peppering Dean with jabs to the face.

Joe grabs a suplex to cut him off again but here’s Jordan for a distraction. Jordan and Joe go face to face but Dean dives on him. Dean gets in his face so Joe dives on both of them as well, followed by a backsplash to Jordan. Back in and the Koquina Clutch knocks Ambrose out at 10:49.

Rating: C. Just a match here with Jordan again messing with things he doesn’t need to be involved in. Joe is likely the next challenger for Reigns and the Intercontinental Title but it could be interesting to see where Jordan goes in the middle. That being said, Joe is the far better challenger and that’s where they should go.

Titus Worldwide announces Dana Brooke as statistician and head of research and development.  Anderson and Gallows come in to laugh at them but Strowman comes up and scares everyone away.

Video on Strowman vs. Kane.

Kane vs. Braun Strowman

The winner gets Lesnar at the Rumble. Strowman wastes no time by splashing Kane in the corner, followed by a running dropkick for one. Kane avoids a charge though and a chokeslam gets two. Another chokeslam gets the same before Strowman chokeslams Kane for good measure. They fight into the crowd and Strowman spears Kane through the barricade for a double countout at 4:31.

Rating: C-. It was fun while it lasted in a Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg at Wrestlemania kind of way but that’s about all it had. I don’t think anyone expected Kane to win here and Strowman not winning is likely a good idea, especially if it would have meant losing to Lesnar again at the Rumble. I really hope Lesnar does defend at the pay per view (assuming he’s not injured or something) but this doesn’t give me a lot of hope.

The fight continues post match with both guys picking up steps. Said steps are rammed together with Strowman getting the better of it but he can’t crush Kane’s throat again. Kane chairs Strowman in the knee and then the back, finally taking the monster down. Kane sets up a table but a double clothesline gives us a double situp. Strowman muscles him up for the powerslam through the table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was strong here but they’re completely out of steam with this Joe/Bar vs. Shield stuff. I really don’t get why they didn’t just do the big blowoff six man match and move on to anything else, but annoyingly enough it seems to be little more than they don’t have another idea. The rest of the show was hit and miss but those three matches and the main event dominated. Not the worst show but they need something to build towards soon.

Results

Paige/Mandy Rose b. Mickie James/Bayley – Kick to Mickie’s head

Finn Balor b. Curtis Axel – Coup de Grace

Seth Rollins b. Sheamus – Wind-Up knee

Cedric Alexander b. Mustafa Ali, Ariya Daivari and Tony Nese – Lumbar Check to Daivari

Roman Reigns b. Cesaro – Spear

Samoa Joe b. Dean Ambrose – Koquina Clutch

Braun Strowman vs. Kane went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 7, 2003
Location: Bell Centre, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Please let Austin be back tonight. Last week was the Eric Bischoff Show with Eric restarting a bunch of matches and turning the show upside down in a bad way. The big story is Kane attacking almost everyone in sight in his latest path of rage. That might be what Austin wants though so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane being all attacky.

Here’s the returning Austin to a heck of a reaction. We even have to pause for a bit as the fans cheer him on even more. Last week he had some food poisoning to go with about six Mexican food TV dinners so it wasn’t the best night. He watched the show last week and saw Eric Bischoff take a chokeslam so tonight, it’s Austin’s show. Let’s get right to it with the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Booker T. vs. Christian

Christian is defending. Before the match, Christian says he’ll just take the countout but Austin says the title can change hands via countout or DQ. Austin throws him inside and we’re ready to go. Booker slugs away to start and hits a big backdrop before raining down some right hands. Christian heads outside though and gets Booker to chase him outside, allowing him to get in a few shots. A hot shot onto the turnbuckle gives Christian two and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Booker scores with the side kick as this really isn’t lighting the world on fire so far. The ax kick gets the pin….with Booker’s foot on the ropes. Of course we’re restarting the match because Heaven forbid we have a match without some kind of shenanigans. Back from a break with Booker fighting out of a chinlock and getting two off a rollup. Christian slips out of a suplex but walks into the Book End for a rather close two.

Booker takes too long going up though and gets crotched, only to shove Christian down. The missile dropkick gets two but we stop for the Spinarooni. The referee blocks the ax kick for some reason though (unless Christian pushed him into the way, I have no idea what that was) and Christian gets in a low blow for two more. Christian misses a belt shot and the second ax kick gives Booker the title.

Rating: D+. These two just don’t work well together and it’s more and more apparent every time they’re out there together. Booker winning was the only way they could have gone and they did the title change just soon enough that people still cared. Not a good match here but the right call.

Mark Jindrak thanks Austin for an opportunity tonight but something has happened. Post break, Austin finds an injured Tommy Dreamer. Austin has to send the Dudleyz away so medics can work on Tommy.

JR and King talk about the Montreal Screwjob and we look at a clip of the incident. Shawn Michaels will be discussing the moment later tonight on the Highlight Reel.

Here are Theodore Long, Rodney Mack and new recruit Rosey. The man has been getting them razzle dazzled lately and he’s not happy. Last week, Jazz lost the Women’s Title without being eliminated from the battle royal. Christopher Nowinski has a concussion but they’re not going to let that get them down (Nowinski would never wrestle again and has since become an expert on concussions). Tonight though, they’re going to teach Rosey to back the mack by means of thuggin and buggin.

As Teddy talks, we cut back to Dreamer being loaded into the ambulance. Bubba goes off to find out who did it. I don’t see this ending well.

Hurricane vs. Rosey

Hurricane offers a handshake but goes with a cheap shot instead. What a villainous act. Rosey drops him with a hard shot and drops the big leg. The Samoan drop ends Hurricane in short order.

Post match Rosey turns on Long and Mack, only to get beaten down for his efforts. So to recap: Mack got squashed by Goldberg in less than a minute and now we’re supposed to be interested in his feud with Rosey? Oh and Hurricane gets squashed too. If there’s a point to this booking, I’m not seeing it.

Bubba accuses Evolution of attacking Dreamer but Orton has an alibi: he was in the back drinking a protein shake. Austin comes in and gives Bubba a tag match if he can find a partner (the other Dudleyz went to the hospital with Dreamer). Jackie Gayda comes up to say something has happened to Rico.

Post break, a bloody Rico says Kane did it.

Victoria/Steven Richards vs. Gail Kim/Val Venis

Gail gets to take off the towel, immediately making her seem a lot less important than she did last week. To make things worse, Victoria gorilla presses her down but gets caught in a hurricanrana. King: “Looks like Gail Kim likes to ride on top.” The men come in with Venis getting two off a spinebuster. Victoria offers a trip though and Steven grabs a DDT for two. It’s back to Gail for a top rope wristdrag and Richards elbows Victoria by mistake. Everything breaks down and Gail grabs a hurricanrana for the pin.

Rating: D-. And so much for Gail. This match made her look more like a fluke who can do a hurricanrana than anything else. She debuts one week and the next week is getting involved with Val Venis? There’s no way this can end well for her and the match was disappointing to say the least. It’s good that she didn’t get pinned but she’s going to need something more to brag about than just that.

Trish Stratus is warming up when Test comes in to hit on her. She’s on his list of women who might want to hook up with him. Trish isn’t impressed so Test grabs her, which brings in Kevin Nash of all people for the save. A match is made for later.

It’s Highlight Reel time with Jericho being a huge crowd favorite for a change. Tonight, Jericho is here to deal with with someone who committed horrible actions against Canada. We see another clip of the Montreal Screwjob and here’s tonight’s guest: Shawn Michaels. Shawn says he’s apologized to Bret himself but never to the fans in Montreal. He apologizes that the whole incident ever happened but what he’s most sorry about is the fact that the fans have never managed to get on with their lives.

Jericho insists that no one is ever going to forgive Shawn, who accuses Jericho of being Mr. Canada. Well you know that gets a face pop. Shawn is ready to go right now but Jericho turns him down because he wants a better payment not based off the Canadian dollar. Instead, he’ll face Shawn in two weeks in Hollywood. Jericho says screw Montreal and we’re out. Seriously, that’s all we get. Jericho makes the fans boo Shawn over Montreal and then gets them to boo himself for the sake of setting up a match where Shawn will be cheered in two weeks. That’s their best use of nearly fifteen minutes?

Austin finds Kane in his office and goes over Kane’s reasons for wanting to quit. He tries to get Kane to be a monster in the ring instead of backstage because that’s where it matters. Austin thinks Kane would be cheered if he goes out there, so it’s either go to the arena or be fired. Kane stands up and leaves, touching the wall with a bloody hand as he goes.

Test vs. Kevin Nash

Nash clotheslines him in the corner to start before getting in some elbows to the jaw. Test gets knocked outside but manages to post the bigger man to take over. Back in and a turnbuckle pad is removed but here’s Trish for a failed distraction. Instead Test kicks Nash in the face for the fast pin. Is feuding with Test the official punishment for a horrible main event? I think I can live with this.

Test shoves Trish down and then into the barricade.

Booker T. is very happy to win the title and leaves with Terri.

Chris Jericho vs. Mark Jindrak

Jindrak has a great look but really bad, generic rock music. Jericho kicks him in the face and then scores with an enziguri as the fans aren’t exactly reacting to Jindrak. The Lionsault hits knees though and Mark comes back with some incredibly basic offense. The fans already think he’s boring so Jericho dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Mark escapes the Walls, followed by the jump to the top for a spinning clothesline. He’s certainly athletic. A low blow cuts Jindrak off though and the Walls make him tap.

Rating: D-. Oh goodness no. Jindrak has a great look and is crazy athletic but that’s the extent of his skills. I completely get why he was given this spot but it was a heck of a botched debut with Jindrak looking terrible, to the point where you would think he was fresh out of wrestling school. When Jericho can’t save you, you know it’s a bad night.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

The winner gets a title shot next week. Trish is very banged up to start and of course Lawler is right there to point out the thong sticking out. Molly easily takes over to start and gets two off a Hennig necksnap. We hit the neck crank for a bit before Molly switches to ripping at Trish’s jaws. Trish comes back with a victory roll for two but Molly cuts her off with a snapmare to stay on the neck. A shoulder breaker into a neck stretch makes Trish tap.

Rating: D+. Molly’s offense made perfect sense and it’s fine to have Molly win over a very banged up Trish but there’s only so much you can do in four minutes with one of the participants barely able to move. Of course Lawler talking about Trish’s underwear made things worse but that goes without saying. Gail beating Molly should help her, though it doesn’t matter if she doesn’t get some better offense.

Kane finally agrees to go to the ring.

Ric Flair/Randy Orton vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/???

The partner is….Rob Van Dam. Rob and Randy start things off with a spinning crossbody getting two on Orton. Flair grabs the boot though and Orton gets in the signature backbreaker. Some Flair stomps set up a great looking dropkick from Randy as this is one sided so far. It’s back to Flair for the Figure Four, which gets next to no reaction. It could be because it goes nowhere other than right back to Orton to stay on the leg. Just a hunch of course.

Rob finally kicks Orton away and brings Bubba in to a limited reaction. A neckbreaker drops Randy and Flair gets slammed off the top for two. Rob comes back in with the kick to the chest as everything breaks down. Orton tries to break up the Five Star but Spike Dudley comes in to break it up, allowing Rob to splash Flair for the pin.

Rating: D. I know a crowd can carry a match to a much higher level but egads the crowd is killing anything this show has going on tonight. They do not care about what’s going on out there, though in this case it’s not like it means much. Orton can’t even get a pin over Bubba Ray Dudley? And this guy is supposed to be your big bright star of the future? Put him over someone important then.

Here’s Austin to call out Kane, still with a towel around his head. The fans kind of cheer with JR acting like it’s Foley winning the title. Austin talks about Kane getting cheered but they care about what happens when Kane is throwing people around. We see a clip of Kane chokeslamming Eric Bischoff last week, which Austin describes as funny. That’s too much for Kane, who thinks Austin is calling him funny. Kane unloads on Austin until some right hands make the comeback. Austin gets in a chair shot and a Stunner but the bloody Kane sits up. A chokeslam to Austin ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. No HHH, no Goldberg, Kane turns heel (for what feels like the second time in a few weeks), the big segment is reminiscing about the Montreal Screwjob and the best match is a nothing to see Booker T. title change (which the crowd did care for). This felt like a big punt instead of any kind of effort and it was very clear that they don’t know how to handle this lack of a pay per view. It wasn’t even the worst show in the world but rather just really boring and that’s worse in this case.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

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