IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 17, 2003
Location: SE Texas Arena, Beaumont, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Survivor Series and that means we’re on the way to Armageddon to end the year. Eric Bischoff is back in full control of the show as Steve Austin’s team lost last night. I’m sure we’ll NEVER see him again. Goldberg is still the Raw World Champion too, having dispatched Evolution on a bad ankle. Why do I have a feeling that the HHH feud is far from over though? Let’s get to it.

Here’s Survivor Series if you need a recap.

Austin’s face comes up at the end of the opening and Bischoff spray paints it out. Not bad for a chuckle.

We hear Austin’s post match speech from last night, complete with photos and clips of his career, all the way back to 1989. The shot closes on the two beer cans Austin left in the ring.

In the arena, Bischoff and his team from last night look down on the same beer cans, which Eric stomps on. Those who have supported him are in for some good times but for those against him, it’s the beginning of the end. Each member of his team gets a special favor, good for anything anytime (within reason).

Cue the rest of Evolution with HHH congratulating Bischoff on his victory last night. The thing is though, it was Evolution that gave Bischoff the win. Without them, Austin would still be in charge. Bischoff agrees, so HHH can have a rematch with Goldberg any time. In a bizarre line, HHH says that’s “very white” of Bischoff (HHH to Long and Henry: “No offense guys.”). HHH blames the sledgehammer for the loss and instead of a title match tonight, we’ll have a 3-1 handicap match with Goldberg facing Evolution minus Flair. Bischoff says that’s the bottom line.

Booker T. vs. Mark Henry

Booker wastes no time in hammering away but some hard forearms knock him backwards in a hurry. A kick to the chest rocks Henry but one heck of a clothesline takes care of that. They’re already doing things right with Henry here: have Henry stand in the middle while the more talented guy does his thing and bounces off of Henry. A sleeper brings Henry down to a knee until he powers Booker into the corner. Booker gets run over for good measure and Henry stands on his chest. Again: using the power game in simple, effective way is what serves Henry best.

We hit the neck crank for a bit until Henry misses a charge in the corner. Booker kicks away and the ax kick FINALLY puts Henry down. The missile dropkick does it again but Henry counters a third kick into a powerslam for two. Henry tries another charge into the corner, only to get rolled up with Booker putting his feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not too shabby at all here with Booker knowing how to get the best out of Henry. I know he gets a lot of flack and a lot of it is deserved but Henry has a role that few can play. Let him do his thing like this (maybe winning a match here or there) and it might get him somewhere. That’s a good asset to have when you need to give someone a rub down the line.

La Resistance vs. Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade

There’s no graphic behind Cade and Jindrak’s names for some reason. The Americans clean house to start and for some reason, Cade is allowed to talk. He brings up his fellow Texans and dedicates the match to the armed forces (well to be fair it’s been like a week). Those are fighting words so we’re ready to go.

Back in and Conway scores with a hurricanrana as JR recaps the night. We’re not even half an hour into the show so it’s a bit early for a recap. A throat snap across the top rope gives Conway two on Jindrak but he suplexes Dupree out of the corner. Cade comes in to clean house and a very hard clothesline gets two on Dupree. The dropkick/spinebuster combination puts Conway away. The match was barely long enough to rate and the promo was after the bell. Not much to this one of course, but at least the rookies got a clean win for a change.

Shawn Michaels has something to say about the loss last night but Bischoff cuts the interview. Shawn talks about everything that went down last night and said it was about doing the right thing. All Bischoff cares about is the power but Bischoff says he didn’t lose last night like Michaels did. For tonight, Shawn is ejected from the building.

Stills of the ambulance match, which again made Shane look like a bigger star than most of the roster.

Kane will be on Smackdown to eulogize the Dudleys.

Scott Steiner has used his favor to get himself and Test a Tag Team Title shot. In exchange, he’s no longer Test’s property. Test agrees but makes it clear that Stacy is still his property and will do what he wants.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Ric Flair

Flair is challenging, Orton is on commentary and as per Bischoff’s orders, the Five Star is banned. They pose at each other to start until Rob kicks him down and gets two off a standing moonsault. A spinning legdrop sends Flair bailing and it’s time for a slugout on the floor with Rob getting the better of it.

JR complains about the Five Star being banned, saying it would be like banning the RKO. Orton warns them to watch it because he seems them as a legendary announce team. Lawler gets the threat and says JR is a legend but says nothing about himself. As expected, it seems to go sailing over JR’s head. Flair sends him knee first into the steps to take over but the knee is fine enough for a spinwheel kick.

The Figure Four goes on until Rob turns it over so there’s a chop block for even worse measure. Rob pops back up with a middle rope spinning crossbody and superkicks Flair down. That’s enough to bring Orton to ringside but Rob kicks him down as well. Ric’s low blow only gets two and Rob loads up the Five Star, drawing in Orton for an RKO off the top and the DQ.

Rating: C. They were getting going here and that’s a good sign for when Orton takes the title from Van Dam. This seemed to exist for the sake of making Orton the next challenger and that’s the right call. Orton needs something like that to establish himself more as for now, he’s just a bunch of potential without a big win.

Orton puts the title on and drops it on Rob.

Coach makes fun of Hurricane and Rosey before going into Bischoff’s office. Eric has a big surprise for next week: Raw Roulette! In Salt Lake City, Utah! Bischoff is holding it there because the city is boring and they need something to make the show interesting.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Jericho saying it’s not his fault that Austin was in over his head. Jericho wasn’t the sole survivor last night but he was the one who got the match off the ground in the first place. So he deserves a H*** YEAH for helping get rid of Austin! That brings him to his guest this week: Lita. She doesn’t seem happy to be here and doesn’t want to hear anything about Jericho or especially Christian.

Instead here’s Matt Hardy to return to Raw, drawing a big smile from Lita. Matt quickly kisses her and has a question that he has to ask from one knee. Before it can be asked though, here’s Molly Holly to interrupt. She has a question of her own: what does she have to do to get some respect around here? She’s the Women’s Champion and beat Lita at Survivor Series but who is out here getting the attention? Jericho likes the animosity and thinks we should have a mixed tag tonight. Molly agrees, but with Bischoff as her partner. Matt and Lita don’t know what to think.

Post break Bischoff asks what Molly is thinking. She thought this could be the beginning of the end for Lita, so Bischoff adds some stipulations: if they win, Lita is fired for good. If Matt and Lita win, Lita gets a rematch for the Women’s Title.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Scott Steiner/Test

Steiner/Test are challenging. The fans want tables but have to wait through D-Von and Test starting things off. Lawler: “They don’t have tables here in Beaumont, Texas? Do they eat off the floor?” Test powers him around to start but walks into a jumping elbow to the jaw. Steiner comes in and gets punched in the head for his efforts, before it’s off to Bubba in his hardcore shorts.

Stacy cheers as Bubba hits a side slam but then sits back down in her chair so Test can yell at her some more. We actually hear about the Duchess of Dudleyville, with Lawler bringing up the history. I’m as confused as you are. It’s back to Test for a running clothesline in the corner, followed by jumping jacks for a little exercise. You have to get it in when you can.

We hit the chinlock and Stacy slaps the mat to get Bubba back to his feet. That means a Bubba Bomb for a break and the hot tag brings in D-Von to clean house. Everything breaks down and a thumb to the eye looks to set up Test’s pumphandle slam. That’s escaped as well and What’s Up Test. He’s right back up (make your own joke) with a full nelson slam to D-Von but now he wants Stacy to throw him a belt. She says no, and that means a 3D to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. Actually a good match here with both teams getting to look good out there. Test and Steiner are fine for a power team and I would have tolerated them a lot more over the last several months had they just done this rather than the whole feud and owning Stacy thing. They need another few teams but the tag division is starting to put some pieces together for a change.

Matt and Lita are in the back with Matt saying he wanted their first kiss to be in front of the world. Haven’t they done that already? Anyway, now it’s about getting her a shot at the Women’s Title. Matt leaves and Trish comes in for the rapid fire giggling.

Lita/Matt Hardy vs. Molly Holly/Eric Bischoff

They all get jobber entrances for some reason and genders can mix. Lita throws Molly down to start as the announcers point out Bischoff wrestling in a suit. That’s rather nice for a change as there’s no reason for him to have gear ready. Molly pulls Lita into the corner for two and we hit the chinlock. A Reverse DDT gets Lita out of trouble as Jerry keeps talking about the suit. Eric comes in and gets slapped, allowing Matt to….drop to the floor instead of coming in. Bischoff pulls Lita down by the hair and gets a really bad rollup (there’s no way I’m buying Lita couldn’t kick out of that) for the pin.

Post match Matt says he was going to ask Lita how she could be so selfish. All she had to do was come join him on Smackdown but instead she had to come back to Raw for the Women’s Title. She couldn’t even do that right though and it’s clear that the title and her career mean more than him and their relationship. They are THROUGH and Matt walks out. And that’s the end of any drama between them for the rest of time.

Val Venis vs. Rico

Venis has the women and Lance Storm to counter Miss Jackie. An early shoulder puts Rico down as the announcers start talking about Matt and Lita as this is pretty clearly just background noise for their chatter. Rico escapes a suplex and grabs a Backstabber to take over as the announcers talk about the ratings.

We get back to the match with Rico hitting a knee lift and a discussion about which section of the closet Rico is in/coming out of/was in. Rico drops an elbow and gyrates the hips as the discussion moves to JR being put on the Roulette wheel next week. This is reaching WCW levels of ignoring the match.

Rico grabs the chinlock as Jerry thinks JR could be in an inferno match and JR reacts accordingly. Val fights up and hits some clotheslines as JR says Rico wouldn’t fit in down in Muskogee. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two and Val’s big boot gets the same. The Money Shot is loaded up but Val has to kick Jackie to the floor (in a big crash). She gets up to look at Storm, which isn’t noteworthy on its own but does include probably the longest nip slip in WWE history (edited but still visible on the Network). Rico gets shoved down as well and now the Money Shot is good for the pin. Storm wasn’t a factor.

Rating: D+. The wrestling wasn’t the worst (though it could have been about three minutes shorter) but the commentary here was what got the most focus. It was clear that the match was just there because they didn’t have anything else to do and I feel sorry for the wrestlers then. It’s nice to have them get out there and get to show off what they can do (in a watchable enough match) but egads can the announcers pretend that it matters?

Post match, Val and Storm dance with the ladies.

Lita (with her dog in her purse, which always looks dumb) is leaving when she runs into Christian. He has good news for her: he used his Bischoff favor to get her job back. Christian even picks up her bag and offers a shoulder to cry on, which she accepts.

Same Austin video as the opener.

We look at Orton RKOing Mark Cuban. Why that wasn’t a dark segment eludes me.

Orton has cashed in his favor for an Intercontinental Title shot at the next (unnamed) pay per view. He lists off some great Intercontinental Champions, forgetting HHH until the boss points it out. That’s fine enough because all that matters to HHH is getting the pin tonight in the handicap match.

Jericho asks Trish out for another date but she turns him down for being in on the Matt/Lita shenanigans. He denies all involvement and somehow offers up enough charm to get a kiss out of the whole thing.

Evolution vs. Goldberg

Orton starts for the team but his partners are quickly knocked to the floor with Randy being tossed on top of them. It’s off to Batista for the big power showdown but Goldberg knocks him down with one shot, followed by a powerslam for two. The ankle seems fine so far. HHH comes in and gets hammered in the face and suplexed.

Flair breaks up the spear though and HHH’s jumping knee to the face takes over. Orton’s dropkick rocks Goldberg but he spears the heck out of HHH. Batista and Orton get clotheslined down, only to have HHH come back with the facebuster. There’s the RKO (JR: “You gotta get up Billy.”) and a Batista Bomb, followed by the Pedigree to end Goldberg.

Rating: D. So to the shock of no one, last night’s win over HHH means nothing because we’re still waiting on him to get his title back from Goldberg. The normal question would be “well if that match didn’t count, why should I watch the next pay per view?” but that’s answered because everything gets important as soon as HHH gets the title back. This was all about rebuilding HHH, because Heaven forbid we go a DAY without him getting the upper hand on Goldberg.

Post match HHH says he’s cashing in his rematch next week. Tonight isn’t over though and he wraps a chair around Goldberg’s neck, drawing out Kane for the unlikely save. A sloppy chokeslam plants Goldberg to end the show instead.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling wasn’t the worst here but the important thing was the storytelling. HHH aside, this show moved a lot of the stories in new and/or positive directions. Trish/Lita/Jericho/Christian in particular is really shaping up and there are several ways they could go with it. Throw in a lot of people having issues with Bischoff and the need for some fresh names to rise up and fight him and I’m actually interested in where some of this stuff goes. Better show than recent weeks, and I’m curious to see where a lot of it goes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 16, 2018
Location: XL Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

It’s time to change things up a lot with the first half of the Superstar Shakeup. In case you didn’t get enough new names last week, this time around we should be getting a bunch of Smackdown names heading over to the red show. How will the names be picked? Who might be coming? That’s not important enough to announce in advance so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s General Manager Kurt Angle to start things off. He gives us a quick introduction but here’s Sunil Singh to announce that Jinder Mahal is now on Raw. Jinder isn’t happy that he was brought here in an SUV because he only travels in a limousine with a motorcade. Angle doesn’t like some of this but wants to be treated like Brock Lesnar around here. Kurt suggests that Jinder email him his issues and gives Sunil his address: Kurt.Angle (which he has to spell) @ NOFREAKINGWAY.com. We settle things in the ring here so it’s time for a title match RIGHT NOW.

US Title: Jinder Mahal vs. Jeff Hardy

Mahal is defending. The fans are behind Hardy (because they have taste) as he slugs away in the corner. A dropkick to the back of the head and a clothesline off the apron rock Mahal and we take a break. Back with Jeff in a chinlock for a good while until a big right hand drops him on the apron. Jeff is fine enough to shove him off the top though and the Whisper in the Wind gets a breather.

Sunil gets dropkicked down (and hopefully shut up) and a basement dropkick gets two on his boss. Things are starting to pick up but a jumping knee to the face looks to set up the Khallas (which Cole calls a half nelson slam). Jeff slips out so a big boot to the face gives Mahal two more. A Twisting Stunner out of nowhere drops Mahal though and the Swanton gives Hardy the title at 11:27.

Rating: C-. Not a great match (to be fair, Mahal) but Jeff winning the title is a great way to get him back on the fast track (and to give hope to impaired drivers everywhere). Hopefully Mahal falls WAY down the ladder now, though I’m curious to see what happens to Orton’s title shot as a result. Just please not another triple threat. Is that too much to ask for?

Post break Jinder rants about being disrespected and wants his rematch at the Greatest Royal Rumble. No Way Jose with the Conga Line interrupts and takes Renee Young off with him.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

This is a grudge match after weeks of simmering tensions. Bayley slips off the middle rope but shrugs off a chop and throws Sasha out to the floor. A hurricanrana through the ropes drops Sasha and we take a break. Back with Sasha holding a chinlock until Bayley drives her into the corner for a break. That’s certainly a different one and I’ll take that over the traditional elbows to the ribs.

The Stunner over the middle rope keeps Sasha in trouble so she kicks Bayley in the head and sends her outside again. This isn’t exactly seething with hatred so far. Back in and the top rope double knees get two before it’s time for the trash talk. Sasha goes one step too far and slaps Bayley in the face, triggering what looks like a hockey fight. Sasha gets the better of it again and hits the running knees in the corner. Bayley tries a rollup but gets reversed into the Bank Statement. She’s in big trouble but here’s the Riott Squad for the no contest at 8:55.

Rating: C. This was cranked up from a five to a twelve in the last two minutes or so but I’m assuming they’ll save the big match for later. The Riott Squad to Raw makes sense as Absolution has no reason to stay together and the Iconics can be the villainous group over on Smackdown. I’m fine with everything here, including Bayley vs. Sasha once they turned it up.

Sasha and Bayley take another beating post match.

Heath Slater and Rhyno are ready for the Authors of Pain tonight.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Authors of Pain

Slater and Rhyno jump the Authors before the bell and actually take over. A top rope ax handle drops Akum but he shoves Slater away and brings in Rezar. Slater gets lifted up for a double gutbuster but slips out of a powerslam for the hot tag to Rhyno. A belly to belly gets two on Rezar but Slater gets sent HARD to the floor. The Last Chapter ends Rhyno at 2:37.

It’s time for MizTV with some special guests who will change Raw forever: Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens, who Cole flat out said COULD NOT be included in the Shakeup. Cole brings it up again here but Coach and Graves basically tell him to get over it. The five of them have a group hug with Miz saying this is better than the NWO and calls the team better than the Avengers. They won’t be held down by Shane McMahon or Kurt Angle, the latter of whom comes out with a rebuttal.

Apparently this can’t happen but Owens says plans have changed. There was an email sent out earlier tonight and Sami has printed it out. With his glasses on (that’s funny for some reason), Sami reads that Angle’s decision on Sami and Kevin’s status has been overturned because Stephanie McMahon thinks they proved themselves last week.

Owens is thrilled but Angle has some news: Miz is now going to Smackdown, as per Daniel Bryan’s request. Miz takes it in stride but gets even more bad news: the Miztourage is staying on Raw. For a going away present though, the five of them can face Finn Balor, Seth Rollins, Bobby Lashley, Braun Strowman and someone making their Raw debut.

Tag Team Title Eliminator Finals: Revival vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

The winners face the Bar, on commentary, for the titles in Saudi Arabia. Matt’s I WILL DELETE YOU now leads into Bray’s music for a combined entrance. Dawson and Hardy start things off with Scott not being able to do much with the odd Matt. It’s off to Bray and Wilder with Wyatt doing his spider bridge, allowing Matt to offer a distraction. A double back elbow (with Bray’s not quite connecting) puts Wilder down and Bray slams Scott on top of him. Matt: “That move was WONDERFUL!”

Back in and the Revival elbows Matt down with Scott grabbing a chinlock. Dawson draws Bray in to keep Matt in trouble, including a double headbutt. Matt gets in a Side Effect and the hot tag brings in Bray for the big right hands. A running corner splash and release Rock Bottom have Wilder in trouble. Everything breaks down and Sister Abigail plants Dawson, followed by an elevated Twist of Fate to end Dawson at 5:06.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here with the right team winning. Revival is in need of a change but there’s only so much you can do when the Bar is the top team on the show. They’re better off facing teams like the Usos and New Day, but the big power team on Smackdown doesn’t make things much better. In other words, it’s a bad time to be an old school tag team.

Video on the shows coming together for pay per views, in the form of both rosters coming together for a big song ala We Are The World. This is uh, overthinking things a bit.

Back from a break and the Bar runs into the Fashion Police. Fandango: “Do you have a permit for that mohawk?” The kilts are too much for them and the Bar gets tickets. They’re so mad that they yell as the Fashion Police leave.

Recap of everyone who came to Raw both last week and tonight.

We recap Ronda Rousey attacking Stephanie McMahon last week and hurting her arm even worse.

Rousey is in the back with Angle when the debuting Natalya comes in. It turns out that she and Rousey are old training partners and Natalya seems happy. Nothing else happens in a kind of odd segment, though you can probably bet on Natalya vs. Rousey at Backlash.

Ember Moon vs. Mickie James

Nia Jax is on commentary and Bliss, who isn’t here, is supposed to be. Mickie grabs a headscissors to start before forearming the heck out of Ember. We hit the chinlock and go split screen to hear from Nia…..whose reaction we see instead of the match. Basically Alexa calls Nia a bully and won’t give her the satisfaction of being out here. Moon fights up but gets dropped again with a neckbreaker for two. A suplex serves her a bit better and the flipping forearm in the corner rocks Mickie. The Eclipse (with Mickie flipping over like Rock taking a Stunner) gives Ember the pin at 4:37.

Rating: D+. Kind of a dull match but the Eclipse is all that matters with Moon. There’s a good chance that she’ll wind up facing Nia for the title one day soon and that could make for a nice brawl. Moon might not be the best choice in the world but she’s a shot in the arm for the division, which is needed with Nia in charge.

Owens and Zayn are worried about the ten man tag when Miz comes in to ask how Shane is at the moment. Sami doesn’t want to hear about it right now because they have bigger things to worry about tonight. The Miztourage is talking about something else but Miz calls them over, saying mourn tomorrow and focus today. This is Miz’s Raw finale so it needs to be must see. It seems like he has an idea.

Dolph Ziggler is back on Monday Night Raw and talks about how great he is. Cue Titus Worldwide to offer him a spot on the team. Ziggler doesn’t think so, but he’s also not on Raw alone. Cue Drew McIntyre, now a heel, and apparently aligned with Ziggler. The big beatdown is on and a Claymore/Zig Zag combo drops Apollo. The fans seem very pleased with McIntyre being back, but don’t worry: Ziggler will suck the life out of that as soon as possible.

Here’s Roman Reigns to talk about how he’s here again tonight, unlike Brock Lesnar. He’ll win the title in Saudi Arabia and bring it back here full time. Cue Samoa Joe to say Reigns is a great talker but never talks about getting the job done. I remember him doing plenty of jobs. Joe talks about how Reigns can never put him away and at Backlash, he’ll put Reigns to sleep again.

We see a video of Lesnar destroying Reigns at Wrestlemania so Reigns wants to fight now. Joe comes down the ramp twice before walking away, as expected. Again: if they want Reigns as a big deal, DON’T PUT HIM OUT THERE WITH PEOPLE WHO SLAUGHTER HIM ON THE MIC!

Mandy Rose vs. Natalya

Absolution still comes out to Paige’s music. Natalya gets a rollup for two but a Sonya Deville distraction lets Mandy get in a jumping knee to the face. Back in and we hit an abdominal stretch to keep Natalya in trouble but a quick Sharpshooter makes Mandy tap at 2:49.

Post match Sonya comes in for the beatdown but Ronda Rousey (awkwardly) walks down the ramp for the save. Deville actually wants to fight so Rousey gives her a look as if to say “seriously?” Rousey knocks Deville out in all of five seconds, hitting about ten punches and a legsweep to send Deville packing.

Baron Corbin is coming to Raw. Is anyone left on Smackdown?

Breezango vs. The Bar

Fandango steals Cesaro’s jacket to start and throws it on, followed by a hip swivel while blocking a sunset flip. Breeze comes in and eats Swiss Death to change control in a hurry. We hit the chinlock from Cesaro, followed by one from Sheamus to really mix things up. Cesaro gets two off a Demolition Decapitator but Fandango pulls Sheamus off the apron, allowing Breeze to get a sunset flip for the pin on Cesaro at 3:49.

Rating: D+. So we have two options here: a triple threat at Greatest Royal Rumble or ignoring this match for the sake of illogical booking. Breezango has potential to be a very nice team but for some reason they’ve lost a lot of steam. That might change here with no Usos or New Day to outshine them and I heartily appreciate this.

Elias isn’t playing tonight and doesn’t think much of Lashley. A lot has changed since Lashley was last here so he should go sit in the stands and worship Elias like everyone else. If Lashley interrupts him again, he’ll learn that WWE stands for Walk With Elias. Elias won’t perform for the people, but he might for Renee in a private concert. All she has to do is hold her applause and silence her cell phone. She says we don’t have time so he starts playing, only to be cut off to throw it back to Cole.

Seth Rollins/Bobby Lashley/Braun Strowman/Finn Balor/??? vs. The Miz/Miztourage/Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

The mystery partner is…Bobby Roode. Rollins and Owens start things off with Kevin missing a charge into the corner. The springboard clothesline drops Owens and Seth sends him outside for the slingshot dive. The good guys clear the ring and it’s off to a break. Back with Balor in trouble and Axel driving him into the corner to continue the beating. The Reality Check drops Balor for two but he kicks Miz away, allowing the hot tag to Lashley. House is cleaned again and we take a second break with Lashley looking great in his short burst.

Back again with Owens hammering on Rollins and putting on that unbreakable chinlock. Miz grabs the short DDT and busts out the YES Kicks one more time before going over to Smackdown. Everything breaks down with Strowman shoving around Owens and Zayn before Roode takes over on Axel. A chop block cuts Roode down but he counters the Figure Four into a small package for two. The hot tag brings in Strowman to clean house, including a chokeslam to Miz.

Strowman runs into Dallas in the corner, which is called him hitting the post for reasons of bad timing. Seth dives onto Axel and the Glorious DDT drops Sami. The parade of finishers begins until we’re down to Miz vs. Strowman with the running dropkicks actually staggering the big man. Strowman comes back with a dropkick of his own and the Miztourage walks out on Miz, leaving Strowman to powerslam him for the pin at 22:11.

Rating: C+. Nice main event tag to wrap things up, especially with the Miztourage turning on Miz, as they should. Miz is the kind of guy who can take a loss like this and then regroup on Smackdown without missing a beat. Just give him Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin as the new Miztourage (like they have anything better to do) and he’ll be fine. Lashley looked great here, but the rest were kind of lost in the shuffle. Not a bad way to end the show though, as we needed a longer match for a change.

Overall Rating: B-. I was mostly liking the show, though I liked the original version last week a little bit better. This felt very similar to the post Wrestlemania show and again shows why this needed to be done around Summerslam instead of a week after Wrestlemania. They had a bunch of big names come over to Raw but they need several going to Smackdown to balance this out again. Right now Smackdown is looking barren and some fresh talent could help them out a lot. I liked this show well enough though and it worked well in almost every area it needed to.

Results

Jeff Hardy b. Jinder Mahal – Swanton Bomb

Sasha Banks vs. Bayley went to a no contest when the Riott Squad interfered

Authors of Pain b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – Last Chapter to Rhyno

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Revival – Elevated Twist of Fate to Wilder

Ember Moon b. Mickie James – Eclipse

Natalya b. Mandy Rose – Sharpshooter

Braun Strowman/Seth Rollins/Finn Balor/Bobby Lashley/Bobby Roode b. The Miz/Miztourage/Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Running powerslam to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 9, 2018
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

As usual, this could be the most interesting show of the year. Tonight could be filled with major angles, returns and surprises, all of which could become big deals in a hurry. Or it could be all about Roman Reigns, who managed to not win the Universal Title from Brock Lesnar last night. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you need a recap.

I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the upper deck on the opposite side from the hard camera, looking nearly straight down at the ring.

Here’s Stephanie McMahon, walking very slowly and with her arm in a cast after last night, to open the show. Cole talks about how Ronda Rousey’s debut may be the best debut in Wrestlemania history. Does that mean the best wrestler to debut at Wrestlemania (As in she’s better than Fandango and Baron Corbin? Or the best ever first match at Wrestlemania? I’m thinking someone else has probably done it better before). Stephanie talks about the post Wrestlemania crowd having an international flavor (Is that an insult?) but she expected at least SOME sympathy.

She did tap out last night but the fans have to admit that one woman did everything she could last night and made the transition. Yes Stephanie did make that transition and was amazing so she deserves all the praise. This brings out Rousey to a very nice reception (which she earned) and even Stephanie gives her credit for last night. Rousey is a role model and a superstar and with Stephanie guiding her, they can reach new heights. The fans tell Stephanie to shut the F up so Stephanie calls Rousey her friend….and offers a handshake.

Now if you don’t know where this is going and yeah I’m not even going to finish that. Rousey hugs her and smiles before shifting to the death stare. Stephanie gets taken down by the bad arm and Rousey takes the brace off to crank it back all over again. Referees run in for the late save and Rousey is all smiles. She’s getting better at the facial expressions and really does come off like a star. Medics come out to check on Stephanie and the fans tell her that she deserves it. As she’s leaving, JoJo asks for a little respect for Stephanie. I was hoping that made the broadcast because it made me laugh in my seat.

My issues with Stephanie are fairly well known but I LOVED this. The key to Stephanie is her being in on the joke and that doesn’t happen very often. This time she was in full on obnoxious heel mode but with a bit of a wink to the camera that she knew she was about to be destroyed. That made this workable because she was FINALLY getting what was coming to her. I know you can’t have it happen all the time, but once a year isn’t quite often enough.

The announcers do their usual “this crowd is insane” speech. Good to see them cover themselves like that as the fans actually get through for a change.

The Superstar Shakeup is confirmed, thereby making almost everything you see here tonight a lot less important.

Here’s Nia Jax for a tag match with a surprise partner. The fans tell Nia that she deserves it but Bliss doesn’t seem to share the mentality. Apparently Nia is the real bully here, even bigger than Rousey. Bliss talks about Nia being so much bigger and running over someone innocent like Mickie. Last night Nia assaulted Mickie before the match and Alexa was competing under emotional distress. Everyone knows how horrible Nia is and that’s why she doesn’t have a partner tonight. Nia: “Shut up Alexa!” She did enjoy what she did to Mickie and Alexa last night and she’s the new Raw Women’s Champion. She does have a partner.

Nia Jax/Ember Moon vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James

Makes perfect sense (the fans knew too) as Ember clearly wasn’t going to get the title back in NXT and wasn’t going to evolve all that much more down there anyway. Nia throws Mickie across the ring to start (maybe Mickie wasn’t ready) so Mickie kicks her in the knee. Bliss comes in and Nia chokes both of them at once before handing it off to Ember.

The announcers try to explain Ember but realize it’s not that easy because she doesn’t really have a character. Ember enziguris Alexa, slips a bit off a springboard (a quick camera cut protected it very well) and takes Bliss down with a spinning crossbody. A legsweep sets up the Eclipse to end Bliss clean at 3:00.

Rating: C. This was exactly what it needed to be: Ember debuts, gets a huge clean pin over Bliss, and looks awesome in the process. The Eclipse is all she needs to do for a long time as that’s one of the coolest finishers in a long time. Nia as a face could be a work in progress but at least she got the big moment to start.

Braun Strowman comes in to see Kurt Angle and blocks out Nicholas from Kurt’s view. As soon as he steps aside though, the fans go coconuts. Strowman hates to do this but they relinquish the Tag Team Titles. See, Nicholas has a scheduling conflict: he’s still in the fourth grade. As soon as he’s done with school though, they’re coming back to win the titles. Nicholas promises that someone will GET THESE HANDS. If Nicholas makes a cameo in ten years, I can die a happy man.

What doesn’t make me happy though is this whole thing. If they weren’t going to have Strowman keep the titles anyway, then why do the whole thing? Why have the Bar lose to a ten year old and then just drop the titles the next night? Give Strowman a partner who loses the fall and set up something with them. Or bring someone up from NXT to give them an instant rub. Just do ANYTHING but this and it’s an improvement. The more I think about this, the worse it gets, especially since the Bar is likely getting the belts back in Saudi Arabia, making this whole thing just a way to inflate their title count.

No Way Jose debuts next. I’m a big fan and he could open house shows forever, but the same character didn’t work for Adam Rose.

No Way Jose vs. John Skylar

Jose has a Conga line and wins with the pop up right hand in 26 seconds. The entrance is all that matters anyway.

The Bar comes in to say they’re ready to take their titles back. Not so fast though (Kurt: “You guys lost to a freaking ten year old!”) as they can be in the title match, but their opponents will be determined by a four team tournament over the next two weeks.

Tag Team Eliminator First Round: Revival vs. Anderson and Gallows

Joined in progress with Anderson throwing Dawson around and declaring him a NERD. Revival gets smart by taking out the knee with Wilder cranking back and bending the leg in various odd directions. Dawson dives over to prevent a tag as they’re trying to get that Revival formula going. A big boot to the face is enough to bring in Anderson though and that means HI YAH in the corner. Anderson dives onto Wilder but Dawson rolls through a high crossbody for two (with tights). Everything breaks down and Gallows gets sent into the barricade, leaving Anderson to eat the Shatter Machine for the pin at 3:41 shown.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here due to time and that’s the problem with Revival on the main roster: they’re built around the long matches which allow them to really set something up. That’s not the case on the main roster as they only have a few minutes. You can’t make it work that way and, injuries aside, it’s the biggest reason why the Revival is no longer the Revival.

John Cena Make-A-Wish ad. Thankfully this earns applause, because even Wrestlemania fans have some heart.

Here’s Seth Rollins for a chat. The fans are all about Rollins here with another YOU DESERVE IT chant. Seth says it’s been a long road back but that was the loudest BURN IT DOWN ever. After last night, he’s back and now a Grand Slam winner, just like the rest of the Shield. He talks about how special it was to complete the Grand Slam in front of fans like these but here’s Finn Balor to interrupt.

Balor gets straight to the point: Rollins was the better man last night but there was someone who wasn’t the winner or a loser and that man wants more. He wants to be the first challenger for the Intercontinental Title and Rollins will shake to that. This brings out Miz and the Miztourage with Miz ranting about how Rollins doesn’t deserve to be champion. It was Miz who made the title what it is but he slips up and says he can’t win without the Miztourage backing him up.

Miz is a changed man after becoming a father to his new daughter. Fans: “HE’S GOT KIDS!” Last night, his daughter watched the match in Maryse’s arms and when Miz lost, she started crying. Miz: “You made my little princess cry.” That made Maryse cry and Miz cried when he heard about it. Seth: “That’s what everyone does when they watch you try to wrestle.”

Miz has a rematch clause and since Balor lost last night, he goes to the back of the line. Rollins is ready now but Miz isn’t wrestling in this suit. Instead he’ll do it at Backlash but if they want a fight tonight, a handicap match is fine. Cue the returning Jeff Hardy to even things up and the Miztourage bails.

Back from a break with the six man being set for later.

Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose

Absolution and Bayley are at ringside. Sasha sends her outside for a baseball slide to start as the fans sing about Bayley. A suplex gives Sasha two as Corey is very glad that he gets to commentate both shows, meaning he always gets to see Mandy. Sasha gets dropped throat first across the top rope and we take a break.

Back with Mandy holding an abdominal stretch until Sasha slips out and hits a knee in the corner. The top rope double knees get two and they head outside where Mandy….seems to mistime whatever she was supposed to be ready for. Mandy goes after Bayley, who hits Sasha by mistake in the next logical step. Back in and Mandy knees Sasha in the face for the pin at 6:55.

Rating: D. The botches were hurting it but Bayley vs. Banks is what matters most here. Absolution is fine at the moment with Paige being the adviser but I’m not sure how long that’s going to work without another top level star. Mandy and Sonya are getting better but they’re a long way behind the top level talent.

Post match Bayley leaves and Paige talks about how hard it was to be on the sidelines yesterday at Wrestlemania. This ring is her soul but due to neck injuries, her in-ring career is over. The THANK YOU PAIGE chants start up in a hurry and Paige thanks the locker room for growing the division into something they never could have dreamed of. She also wants to thank Daniel Bryan for giving her hope that she might be able to come back some day as well.

Earlier today Edge spoke to her and showed her that there’s life outside of wrestling. Edge has a family and acting career but now Paige has to go find something else. WWE has allowed her to do this for the last four years. She debuted here four years ago and won the Divas Championship so she wants to retire here as well.

Paige starts to cry so we get a THIS IS YOUR HOUSE chant. This will always be her house and she takes the shirt from around her waist, leaving it in the ring before walking up the ramp. I know she’s had some issues over the years but there’s no denying that she played a big role in the Women’s Revolution. It’s a shame that she’s done at such a young age and I hope she gets to do this again someday.

The announcers recap John Cena vs. Undertaker.

Here’s Elias for a song. The fans get that WWE stands for WALK WITH ELIAS and last night they paid for an Elias performance. That means an OH WALK WITH ELIAS chant but Elias calls them scumbags. Fans: “WE ARE SCUMBAGS!” The song is about how he wants to punch the clapping fans in the face….and here’s the returning Bobby Lashley. House is cleaned in a hurry and Lashley hits a delayed vertical suplex (with one arm free at times) to drop Elias. Lashley won’t be around long but let him make an impact while he can.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn come to see Kurt Angle to ask for a job. Sure they had a falling out with their management but that won’t happen here. Angle: “My tag team division is full, but I hear that TNA is hiring.” After the line of the year, Angle says he can’t hire them both. He has one spot available so they can wrestle for the contract tonight.

Here are Heath Slater and Rhyno to issue an open challenge. Oh man that’s never a good idea on this show.

Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Authors of Pain

Pounding abounds and the Last Chapter ends Slater at 49 seconds.

Post match the Authors walk away from Paul Ellering. Maybe he just didn’t want to do the full schedule?

Here’s Roman Reigns for a chat. He took a beating last night but he’s here while Brock Lesnar isn’t. When he got to the Superdome yesterday, no one could look him in the eye. As of this past Wednesday, Lesnar was done and going to the UFC. Now though they have another match in a cage in Saudi Arabia later this month. That means Reigns can win the title there in a match he found out about on the internet. This brings out Samoa Joe to say Reigns exposed Lesnar last night.

For over a year, Reigns has been saying he’s the only one who can beat Lesnar. It doesn’t matter who couldn’t look at Roman because he’s a failure. It also makes him a liar because he can’t beat Brock Lesnar. Every time the Beast meets the Big Dog, the Big Dog gets conquered. After Lesnar makes Reigns fail again, Samoa Joe will be waiting at Backlash to put him to sleep. As usual, Joe was great here with the commanding voice and fire in his eyes. Joe as the new #1 contender could do some great things, especially if he eventually wins the title.

Tag Team Eliminator First Round: Titus Worldwide vs. Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt

Before the match, Hardy talks to the Andre the Giant trophy, saying it’s time to start on the expedition of gold. Bray shows up and laughter ensues, allowing them to appear in the ring. Matt and Titus have the required pose off and Matt hammers away. Bray comes in and the fans give him a little He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The announcers discuss whether these chants are more like football games or soccer until Apollo comes in with a flip. Matt and Bray find this WONDERFUL but beat on Apollo anyway. A series of rams into the buckle have Apollo in trouble but he gets in a dropkick to stagger Bray. That just earns him a release Rock Bottom as Titus is knocked to the floor. Bray tosses Apollo into the Twist of Fate (called Sister Abigail into the Twist, which is nonsense) for the pin at 5:08.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with the right team winning. There’s no reason to believe that Titus Worldwide are going to be anything more than jobbers to the stars so having them put Matt and Bray over here was the right call. You can almost guarantee that Bray and Matt are going to the title match and it might be the right move to put the titles on them this soon.

We recap the opening sequence.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

The winner gets a Raw contract. Cole points out that the loser here will NOT be allowed in the Superstar Shakeup, which could make things more interesting. Sami misses the Helluva Kick at the bell and he has to explain the attempt at the fast start. Owens gets low bridged….to the apron as Sami doesn’t get the rope low enough and Owens goes through the ropes instead. He’s smart enough to hammer Sami in the head but gets knocked to the floor for a big flip dive.

A hard right hand breaks up a springboard but Sami catapults him face first into the post. Back in and Sami gets crotched, setting up a Vader Bomb elbow for two. We take a break and come back with Cole sounding like he’s talking to production and Sami getting two off the Blue Thunder Bomb. They head outside again with Sami’s dive through the ropes eating a superkick.

Back in and the frog splash gets two and Owens follows it up with a corner clothesline. He tries another but Sami is right behind him with the Helluva Kick to send him to the apron. There’s the Pop Up Powerbomb but Owens falls to the floor for some reason. Back in and Owens goes up, only to get kicked in the face again. Sami superplexes him down and neither can get up, meaning it’s a double knockout at 10:18.

Rating: B. These two are always penciled in for a solid match and that’s what they had here. I’m not exactly surprised by the ending either, which leaves the story open for a few weeks. They could wind up on either show through one shenanigan or another (say through a new Smackdown GM) or as free agent signings after the Shakeup. Getting a good match out of it helps too.

Post match, the fans chant TNA.

Matt and Jeff run into each other with Matt saying he was glad to hear about Jeff getting over being broken. Jeff left him a message but it must have been DELETED. Matt must have been preparing for Andre’s battle of the giants. Indeed he was, and he won, thanks to the help of an old foe. Bray comes in and hugs Brother Nero, who is glad that Sister Abigail has been rendered OBSOLETE. Bray is now feeling wonderful and walks off with Matt. The camera pans over to Balor and Rollins, who are very confused. Jeff just shrugs and leaves.

Great little segment here, as just putting normal people (Rollins and Balor qualify here) into this strange world that is wrestling makes things all the better. That’s a guaranteed way to get a chuckle in wrestling as these are crazy people doing crazy things but when you live in the wrestling bubble, everything seems fine. Looking at it through the eyes of the normal people makes it all the funnier.

Next week: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks.

Jeff Hardy/Finn Balor/Seth Rollins vs. Miz/Miztourage

Before Finn’s entrance, the production crew replaced a piece of the stage, which I thought would be a Rey Mysterio entrance but turned out to just be for the smoke in Balor’s entrance. Miz and Rollins start but let’s hand it off to Axel instead. Rollins kicks both lackeys in the face and it’s off to Jeff for some Poetry in Motion to Axel and Dallas. Finn and Seth play decent Matt’s actually.

Back from a break with Balor coming in and forearming all three villains. Miz offers a distraction though and Dallas decks Balor from behind. Now Miz is glad to come in with a chinlock, followed by the Hennig necksnap from Axel. Dallas drops some knees and grabs a chinlock of his own as we’re not exactly setting any new standards here (as they shouldn’t be here). Balor finally dropkicks Miz down and the hot tag brings in Jeff to clean house.

A Whisper in the Wind takes down the Miztourage as you can see Rollins getting all charged up on the apron. The diving tag brings in Seth with a springboard clothesline to Miz. Rollins suicide dives onto all three of them for a big crash and we hit a BURN IT DOWN chant. Back in and the superplex into the Falcon Arrow (Cole: “Tonight he hits it!” He hit it last night too.) gets two on Miz with Dallas making the save. Finn dives onto Axel and Dallas and the Stomp finishes Miz at 13:56.

Rating: C+. This was just an easy way to end the show and that’s all it needed to be. I would have had Jeff come out later in the night, but that would have meant the lack of the Matt segment so it balances out. Rollins pinning Miz again is fine, especially with the title match already being set. It’s not like Miz is going to be damaged by a loss in a six man tag so this was fine all around.

Post match Dallas takes a Twist of Fate, Coup de Grace, Swanton and Stomp. Axel gets a similar treatment and a Stomp to Miz ends the show.

The dark segment saw Rollins telling the fans to throw in their beach balls. Several fans obliged and the good guys batted them around for a few minutes to wrap up the night.

Overall Rating: B+. I had a good time with this show as they went with a string of debuts and returns instead of one or two big angles. They didn’t really have a big moment here but they did set up stuff for both the Greatest Royal Rumble and Backlash. The problem with that is it made things feel like they were flying through tonight instead of actually focusing here, which is understandable given how the fans can react to something they don’t like. All in all though, this was a VERY entertaining show and makes things rather interesting going into next week’s Shakeup.

Results

Ember Moon/Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Eclipse to Bliss

No Way Jose b. John Skylar – Pop Up Punch

Revival b. Anderson and Gallows – Shatter Machine to Anderson

Mandy Rose b. Sasha Banks – Knee to the face

Matt Hardy/Bray Wyatt b. Titus Worldwide – Twist of Fate to Apollo

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens went to a double knockout

Seth Rollins/Finn Balor/Jeff Hardy b. Miz/Miztourage – Stomp to Miz

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 10, 2003
Location: Fleet Center, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Survivor Series and since the card is mostly set, tonight is going to be all about the hard sell. While there are several options for building to the elimination match, odds are we’re going to have to listen to HHH talk about his match with Goldberg and that’s not a series of statements I’m likely to survive. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lita to get things going. She talks about how coming back was a big deal but winning the title back on Sunday will be even bigger. Cue HHH (JR: “IS THIS WHO WE THINK IT IS???” Well who else would be coming out to HHH’s music Jim?) with Evolution to interrupt. Lita asks if she can help them and HHH asks Orton for a dollar. Unless she plans on stripping and dancing for the dollar, she can leave right now.

With Lita gone, HHH shows us a clip of Batista returning and breaking Goldberg’s ankle. HHH makes a lot of threats about Sunday but here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin doesn’t want to hear this but HHH accuses him of trying to have one last Stone Cole moment before he’s fired.

Insults about Sunday’s elimination match are made until Austin asks HHH if he’s planning on wrestling tonight. HHH hadn’t planned on it so Austin tells him to get out. A brawl is teased but Austin says he can do it in six days. For now though, security can come out and escort HHH out of the building. HHH says he’s leaving on his own and threatens to sue if he’s harmed at all. What a waste of ten minutes.

In the back, Team Bischoff laughs at Austin but here’s Team Austin to insult them right back. Matches are imminent.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian

Van Dam is defending. Rob wastes no time in getting two off a monkey flip (yeah they’re really trying to get that over) as Lawler doesn’t know the difference between the near and far legs on a cover. A thumb to the eye sets up a DDT for two on Van Dam and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Rob catches him with a spinwheel kick in the corner as JR and King debate Christian’s level of creepy. The split legged moonsault gets two but a distracted referee lets Christian get in a low blow. Christian does the bring in the belt so he can use a chair trick but gets kicked down again. The Five Star retains the title.

Rating: D+. You can tell when Van Dam isn’t trying and that was clearly the case here. There’s not much you can get out of him when he just wants to do signature spots and unfortunately that’s been the case for a long time now. Maybe he can bring something out at Survivor Series but at this point I’m not really counting on it.

Shane McMahon is at a restaurant and gets a table for two.

Here’s Coach in a Yankees jersey with something to say. He gets in Lillian’s face and says he’s replacing her for losing her chair (the one Christian picked up) in the last match.

La Resistance vs. Hurricane/Rosey

It’s a brawl on the floor before the bell until the French guys take Rosey down to actually start. The French dance sets up more shots to the leg but a Samoan drop gets Rosey out of trouble. Hurricane comes in to clean house (JR: “The man with green hair.”) as everything breaks down. Rosey gets knocked outside and a swinging neckbreaker of all things ends Hurricane.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but La Resistance are getting better. There’s still nothing to the characters as they’re just Vince getting out his anger over real world events but at least the in-ring stuff is getting smoother. Imagine that: getting rid of the utterly worthless Grenier and replacing him with another OVW talent works that much better.

Terri is worried about having to wrestle tonight but Lita says it’s going to be fine. Bischoff comes in to tell Terri to go find something less appropriate to wear in the ring. As for Lita, she needs to get ready to “play ball” once Austin is gone. As usual, this doesn’t feel right from Bischoff.

Jericho fires up Team Bischoff. Orton comes in and says he’ll save the day on Sunday. The team isn’t convinced. Long: “That’s one cocky cracker.”

Val Venis sneaks his two women into the locker room and one of them gets to see Lance Storm in the shower. They’re rather impressed.

Shane is ready to order but says he has a guest coming so he’ll wait. JR: “Who’s his guest?” Normally I can tolerate JR but this is stupid even for him.

Lita/Terri vs. Molly Holly/Gail Kim

Coach announces Lita and Terri at a combined weight of 310lbs to annoy JR even more. Terri is in a dress and starts for whatever reason with Gail planting her off a side slam. Lawler freaks out over seeing Terri’s underwear and it’s off to Molly for more beating. JR figures out the obvious about Shane’s guest as Terri makes a comeback and brings in Lita. Not that it matters as Molly sends her into Gail and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Post match Gail rips Terri’s dress mostly off for fan service. The idea here is that this is what the women are going to be used to under Bischoff’s control. Well it’s under Austin’s co-control right now and it’s still happening so what difference does it make?

We look back at Randy Orton cheating to beat Shawn Michaels at Unforgiven.

Randy Orton vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair isn’t here tonight and the teammates are barred from ringside. Orton takes him into the corner for some uppercuts to start but gets chopped for his efforts. It’s too early for Sweet Chin Music so Shawn punches him down for two instead. Shawn tries to get a bit too fast though and gets sidestepped to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Orton hammers away, with Lawler saying his fist is on Shawn’s chin like melted pizza cheese.

We hit the chinlock for a few moments before the exchange of strikes goes to Shawn. There’s the forearm into the nipup but the ref gets bumped. The backbreaker drops Shawn again and Orton grabs a chair, only to get backdropped through it instead. Now Sweet Chin Music can connect for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a pretty standard TV match with Shawn not really doing anything too fancy. It also doesn’t help that Shawn pins Orton six days before one of the biggest matches of Orton’s career but you knew he would get his win back as soon as possible. Not bad but too short to mean anything.

Shane eats appetizers and here’s Kane as his guest. They glare a bit until Shane promises that Sunday will be their last fight. Shane talks about how whoever goes into the ambulance is done for good so Kane asks how Linda is doing. He electrocuted Shane’s testicles so Shane could never have kids. Kane: “Did I succeed?” Kane doesn’t know love so Shane must know pain. Shane says Kane is pathetic instead of evil. He knows Kane is scared and everyone, even Kane’s brother, knows it. On Sunday, he’s being put out of his misery. Shane leaves, thankfully paying first. This was, in a word, stupid.

Dudley Boyz vs. Scott Steiner/Mark Henry

Non-title. Steiner hammers on D-Von to start but gets shoulder blocked and legdropped. Bubba and Henry come in with Mark shoving him hard into the corner. The slow beating continues so D-Von comes in, earning both Dudleys a clothesline of their own. Steiner’s pushup elbow gets two but D-Von elbows him down.

The hot tag brings in Bubba as everything breaks down again. Bubba’s running clothesline manages to put Henry down but Steiner chairs Bubba in the back to break up the 3D. Of note: we’ve had five matches tonight and three of them have involved the usage of a chair. At some point you need to come up with something fresh.

Rating: D-. Long, slow, boring and just bad, but what were you expecting from the team of Scott Steiner and Mark Henry? There’s not much you can do when Henry is probably the better option of the two and Bubba and D-Von aren’t that level of miracle workers. Hopefully Steiner and Henry don’t last long on Sunday.

Post match Henry and Steiner destroy the Dudleys.

Austin is annoyed and Bischoff AGAIN points out that Austin has to trust people. They’ve beaten that into our heads for weeks now but one more time can’t possibly hurt anything right?

Clip of Lebron James in the front row last week. This week: some New England Patriots are here.

A backstage worker brings Jericho some water but he yells at her for taking too long. Trish Stratus pops in and doesn’t like what she saw so Jericho apologizes. They actually agree to go on a date. I love how we only get a little bit of this every week and it’s taking its time for a change. You don’t get that often enough.

Michael Cole and Tazz run down Smackdown’s half of the card. JR and King do the same with the red side.

Booker T. is reading WWE Unscripted with John Heidenreich. Apparently John wants to get a copy for Little Johnny for Christmas. Someone knocks on the door but there’s only a note addressed to Booker saying I STILL REMEMBER.

Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho

Booker gets in a hiptoss to start but misses the side kick and crotches himself on the ropes instead. A top rope elbow to the jaw gives Jericho two and we hit the chinlock. Jericho’s sleeper drop gets two and Booker is right back up with a right hand. The Book End doesn’t work but Booker grabs his spinning rollup into a crucifix out of the corner for the quick pin.

Rating: D+. Another victim of the time issue here as Team Austin continues to win the night. That doesn’t bode well for them on Sunday but at least they went with a logical build towards the pay per view. I’m glad they went with this over a week rather than doing it for a month or so on end as you would see today.

Post match Jericho puts him in the Walls as the rest of Team Bischoff comes in for the beatdown. Team Austin makes the save and takes care of Coach for running his mouth a little too much. Standard operating procedure here.

Video on Shane vs. Kane. That dinner scene was suffering enough.

Goldberg vs. Batista

Non-title. Goldberg, with a broken ankle, doesn’t even take the title off before gorilla pressing Batista without much effort. Without much height either but he’s hurt. Batista heads outside and grabs the leg to ram it into the apron. A shot into the post makes things even worse and a spinebuster plants Goldberg. The spear cuts Batista in half but here’s HHH for the quick DQ. Well duh.

HHH gets in the Pedigree but goes for the sledgehammer, allowing Goldberg to spear him down. A hammer shot to Batista sends HHH bailing to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was as ho hum of a go home show as you could have gotten and since those are often bad in the first place, the show was made even worse. The Survivor Series match looks good but HHH vs. Goldberg and Shane vs. Kane are both death. Maybe the Smackdown side can help but at this point, Sunday is looking pretty rough indeed. Bad show here, but more uninteresting and uninspired than anything else.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Still in New Orleans so still behind on doing the reviews, but still able to do some live reports. This time around we had the big event show with everything going at a hundred miles an hour and a ridiculous amount of returns, debuts and surprises. That can make for a fun show and I had a pretty good time. Let’s get to it.

Since there’s so much to cover, this is chronological instead of in any order of importance or interest.

Also, the sellout line was COMPLETELY bogus as there was a good chunk of empty seats on the hard camera side. I was opposite the hard camera in the upper deck an at least four seats in the row in front of me stayed empty all night. There were also empty floor seats easily seen.

Stephanie McMahon opened the show and egads this was great. I can live with Stephanie being all stuck up when she comes across as in on the joke and that’s what we got here. Rousey coming out and going from smile to death stare was outstanding and I wanted to see her break the other arm. This was EXACTLY what it needed to be and should get rid of Stephanie, at least for the time being.

Ember Moon debuted in a pretty expected move. It’s the right way to go about things with her as there’s nothing left for her in NXT. The Eclipse is still an outstanding finisher and pinning Alexa Bliss, who was Women’s Champion 24 hours earlier, was a promising start. I’m not sure why she and Nia are now friends, but Ember coming up is a good thing.

Now we go down the other road with Braun Strowman and Nicholas vacating the Tag Team Titles. Why? Because Nicholas is in fourth grade of course! That got a great laugh and so did Nicholas promising to come back to give someone THESE HANDS when he’s done with school. However, it seems that the whole point of this is to crown new champions in Saudi Arabia and if we just have to do the title change one night and vacate it the next, so be it. This got on my nerves far more than Nicholas appearing in the first place and comes off like WAY too much work for what they got out of it.

No Way Jose debuted and won a match in about thirty seconds with a conga line before and after the match. I’ve always been a fan of the guy and he’s the perfect house show opener for years to come.

The Bar is getting their shot at the Tag Team Titles in Saudi Arabia and their opponents are being determined with a mini tournament. The Revival made the finals by beating the Good Brothers and that’s all there is to say here. It’s the right call and hopefully the Revival can pick up some steam. I mean, they won’t, but it’s nice for a week.

Seth Rollins came out and got a great reaction to BURN IT DOWN. Finn Balor interrupted and asked for a title shot, which Rollins granted at a future date. It was Miz’s turn as he came out and said he wanted his rematch at Backlash. Rollins said it was on and a handicap match was teased but Jeff Hardy returned to even things up. That’s a VERY good idea as there’s no need to have him do the Broken stuff. You don’t know how long he has left so put him out there and see what he can do in a last singles run. The six man is set for later.

Sasha Banks and Bayley are still arguing and have a match next week. There’s no much to this but I think Bayley turns.

In a great moment, Paige announced her retirement from in-ring competition due to her injuries. You had to know this was coming but it was very fitting that she did it in the same arena and on the same show that she made her main roster debut. I was there for both moments and it was sad to see her go, but this needs to be done. She got a THIS IS YOUR HOUSE chant and left her t-shirt in the ring for one of the better retirement speeches I’ve seen in a good while.

Elias came out for a song, got an insanely positive reaction, insulted the crowd, and was then mauled by a returning Bobby Lashley. This was another expected debut and one that was also very effective, even if his big move was a delayed suplex. Lashley still looks like a million bucks and he’s learned the character stuff in his time away. He could be a big deal for a few years and that’s always a positive.

Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens tried to get jobs but Angle says he’s not just giving it out. In the line of the weekend, Angle said he’s heard TNA is hiring. If TNA has ever been mentioned on the main shows, the moment escapes me. Anyway they can wrestle each other tonight and the winner gets a contract.

The Authors of Pain debuted and slaughtered Heath Slater and Rhyno. After the match they walked away from Paul Ellering, which doesn’t surprise me. Unless he’s going to come back with another team (not sure who that could be), he might just not want to be on the road every week. We’ll see if he’s back but it’s not like they really need him.

A solemn Roman Reigns came out and talked about taking a beating last night. In what sounded like he was accusing Lesnar of shooting on him or at least going off script, Reigns said that no one would look at him when he got to the building yesterday and Lesnar shocked everyone by re-signing with WWE. It didn’t make a lot of sense and came out of left field to say something like that and I’m not sure I want to know where it’s going. Anyway, Samoa Joe returned, called Reigns out for losing again, and promised to choke him out at Backlash. Joe was great here, showing off the serious emotion that he does so well.

Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt won the other semifinal match over Titus Worldwide and will face the Revival for the title shot next week. Again, not much to say here as it was exactly what it should have been.

Sami and Owens went to a double countout when neither could get to their feet after a superplex. Therefore, no one gets the contract. Now this one interests me as they’re either going to go barnstorming on both shows until someone hires them or do something else. I’d love to see them even go to NXT for a month or two, just to see what happens.

In a funny moment, the Hardys and Wyatt talked in the Woken style about what they’ve been up to with Bray saying that he feels WONDERFUL since Sister Abigail was vanquished. Aside from there being a reason for his face turn, the highlight was the camera panning over to a confused Balor and Rollins. That’s the kind of comedy that works in wrestling: pointing out that while what is being said makes sense in the wrestling world, to an outsider, these are crazy people talking about crazy things. See also Dr. Shelby with Kane and Daniel Bryan.

The trio of midcard superheroes defeated the Miztourage in a match that was everything you would have expected it to be. Post match it was a parade of finishers to end the show. There was no dark match but Rollins called for the fans to throw their beach balls into the ring and a mini party broke out.

Overall, tonight’s show felt like a post Wrestlemania show, but it also felt like they were rushing to get through it. How much stuff tonight was just a way to set up the Saudi Arabia show and Backlash? I know you have to do some of those things, but this felt like they were trying to move as fast as they could, likely so the fans couldn’t take over the show again.

That being said, this show was PACKED with stuff happening, including returns, debuts and matches being set up all over the place. I did like what we got, but there was so much of it that it’s going to take some time to process. On top of all that, there’s the Superstar Shakeup next week, meaning all of this could be completely meaningless. It’s still a fun night though and while there wasn’t one big moment, there were several important moments, making it feel like a special night.

I think something might happen tonight.  Talk about it here and I’ll be back with some thoughts after the show.

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 3, 2003
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The slow road to Survivor Series continues but you can at least see where most things are heading. In this case we have Team Austin vs. Team Bischoff with several members of both teams already announced. Other than that it’s Goldberg vs. HHH for the World Title and Shane McMahon vs. Kane for the sake of pushing Shane. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Rob Van Dam/Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho/Christian

Those horrible Canadians come in through the crowd for a blindside attack but get sent outside for their efforts. Rob dives onto the two of them and Booker elbows Christian in the face for two. It’s off to Rob for some kicks to Jericho’s jaw but Christian saves Booker’s spinning kick. A double noggin knocker (I never get tired of saying that) has the Canadians in trouble but Christian is right back with a dropkick for two on Booker as the villains finally take over.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Booker gets in another kick (we get it already) and it’s off to Rob for even more kicks. Rob throws them into each other and hits a big flip dive off the top to take Christian down. The split legged moonsault gets two on Jericho and there’s the Spinarooni because that’s a logical offensive strategy. Jericho uses the dance break to send Booker outside and the sleeper drop (with Christian holding Rob’s foot) gets the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad at all with a nice preview of the upcoming Survivor Series match. There’s not much else you can do to set up the match so you might as well throw them out there for some basic matches like this. The cheating finish helps too as it makes Austin even more paranoid, which is often the best Austin.

Austin isn’t happy and runs into Coach, who accepts the offer of the post match interview. That’s fine, but Coach needs to remember that if Austin’s team loses, he has nothing to lose. Now Austin has to do something he never thought he would do.

Molly Holly isn’t worried about losing the title to Lita because the comeback story isn’t happening. She slaps Terri and beats her into the arena and down the ramp. Terri fights back for a few seconds until Lita runs out for the save. Cue Gail Kim in disguise as a fan to hit Lita with a wrench. A double DDT plants Lita, because that’s much more effective than HITTING HER WITH THE WRENCH.

Austin comes in to see Shawn Michaels and asks if Shawn knows what’s going on. Shawn says yes so Austin explains the whole story to him. That’s rather un-Austin of him. Shawn: “Your point?” Austin says he has four guys but Shawn isn’t following him. An uncomfortable Austin can’t bring himself to ask Shawn for help so Michaels does it for him.

Austin FINALLY makes the invite so Shawn talks about their time as a tag team (there’s a period you don’t hear about very often). That annoys Austin even more but he finally says he needs Shawn. The only answer is that Austin has a problem on his hands. Oh and he’s in. This was awkward but I liked Shawn messing with Austin, who isn’t in this position very often.

Lita is getting her neck looked at when a concerned Christian comes in. She doesn’t seem to care one way or another.

Some kid named LeBron James is in the front row. I’m not familiar.

Batista vs. Maven

Maven charges at the ring and flails away with forearms to the back until a spinebuster puts the world back as it should be. Batista sends him into the steps and then onto the apron, followed by a hard clothesline. Maven’s right hands have no effect and Batista clotheslines him out of the air. A powerbomb (not yet the Batista Bomb) ends Maven in short order.

Kane is next to an ambulance and explains the concept of an ambulance match. He asks if Shane knows what that’s like….and we go to a first person perspective of someone being loaded into an ambulance. Kane promises Shane is going to the hospital DOA.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade are ready to beat the Dudleys, even if the Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. Can we at least get them matching gear?

Dudley Boyz vs. Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak

Non-title. Jindrak and D-Von start things off with a flying shoulder putting Mark down. Cade comes in and gets elbowed down as this isn’t looking good for the rookies. It’s off to Bubba for a legsweep which seems to fire him up for some reason. Cade gets in his own middle rope shoulder for two as the announcers ignore the match to talk about Shawn and Austin. For once, that’s perfectly acceptable as it’s almost impossible to get interested in these two.

A snapmare takes D-Von down and Cade, with a bloody mouth, grabs a chinlock. Back up and D-Von suplexes his way to freedom. Bubba cleans house off the hot tag but here’s Scott Steiner to gorilla press Stacy Keibler on the stage. The distraction lets Jindrak get in a cheap shot and rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but I’ll give them points for actually trying something with Jindrak and Cade. I mean, they’re not trying the right stuff but at least they’re trying something. If nothing else at least they set up the Bischoff vs. Austin match a little more, which is a good idea as we’re so close to the pay per view.

There are chairs and a table in the ring for a sitdown interview between Austin and Bischoff. Eric eventually comes out and says he’s been finalizing some details. That would be the fifth member of his team, who recently beat the fifth member of Austin’s team. Cue Randy Orton, who says he’s a legend killer about to take down the biggest legend of all in Austin. Steve is ready to go fight but Bischoff says that can’t happen, which is why they’re fighting at Survivor Series.

The contract is signed and Bischoff says for once, Austin has to trust someone. Austin says he hasn’t been himself in a long time but he also lives by the idea of beating up as many people as possible. If he can’t be his old self, he might as well hang it up for good. He thinks it’s worth the risk and win or lose, Bischoff is ready for a beating. More threats wrap things up. Austin having to change is interesting, but they’re running out of ways to keep him around like this without having him wrestle, which is of course impossible.

Post break Batista tells Austin that he doesn’t fight anymore because of guys like him, not some contractual mandate. Austin has lost his nerve.

Rico vs. Lance Storm

Val Venis is at ringside, accompanied by some ladies. Jerry thinks he saw some of them on “Spank-o-Vision” the other night. Lance wastes no time in hitting a leg lariat but gets kicked in the face for his efforts. A running knee to the face gives Rico two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Storm scores with a clothesline and the half crab makes Rico tap.

Post match Lance dances with Val and his ladies. I’m sure this is going to go somewhere.

Chris Jericho and Trish Stratus run into each other in the back with Chris talking about trying to get Trish’s number. Trish says all he had to do is ask and Jericho smiles. He’s worried about her having to team with John Heidenreich (now with a contract) tonight because John is always talking about Little Johnny. It’s cool though because she saw Little Johnny earlier today. Jericho panics but Heidenreich comes in and says their match is up next. Trish says she’ll see Jericho later.

Video on the recent tour of Ohio.

Trish Stratus/John Heidenreich vs. Steven Richards/Victoria

The guys start things off as JR can’t figure out what Little Johnny is. A spinning atomic drop puts Richards on the floor and Heidenreich is fired u. That means it’s off to Trish vs. Victoria with Trish hammering away as Jericho looks on approvingly from the back. The threat of Stratusfaction draws Richards in for a cheap shot and Trish is in trouble. Victoria goes old school with an over the shoulder backbreaker into a Dominator for two as Jericho is getting more and more nervous.

Trish finally gets away and makes the hot tag off to Heidenreich so some house can be cleaned. Something like a Boss Man Slam gives him two but Trish has to pull Victoria off of John’s back. There’s the Thesz press off the apron (Jerry: “I THINK I SAW A PUPPY!”), leaving Heidenreich to finish with a powerbomb (to the side instead of forward) for the pin.

Rating: D. Heidenreich has a good look and some power and right now, that’s all he needs to be doing. The Trish and Jericho thing is just getting started and that’s one of the coolest things that WWE has going right now. It’s actual character development and I want to see how awesome it gets over the next few weeks. Victoria vs. Trish on the other hand….not too much as I’ve just seen it too often.

Austin is now guest referee for Shawn vs. Henry.

Raw half of the Survivor Series rundown.

Sgt. Slaughter gives Kane a letter from Shane McMahon. Kane reads it and laughs, saying the invitation for next week is accepted.

Shawn Michaels vs. Mark Henry

Austin is guest enforcer on the floor. They waste no time in locking up and Henry easily powers him into the corner. Shawn goes for the knee but makes the mistake of charging at Henry and getting taken down. The quick left hands have some more success but Teddy Long grabs Shawn’s foot.

Henry gets low bridged to the floor and Austin ejects Long. A posting has Shawn in trouble and Henry takes his head off with a clothesline for two. The bearhug goes on and Shawn’s chops get him out for a bit, only to have Henry whip him into the corner. Henry pulls him off the top in a heap but misses a Vader Bomb, setting up Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: C-. Shawn could do this match in his sleep and as usual, his selling was perfectly fine to get to the ending. I don’t think anyone was expecting Henry to do anything but power stuff here and that’s all he should be trying at this point. Not a good match or anything, but Shawn made it much better than probably anyone else was going to do at this point.

Post match Austin has something to say, albeit without Shawn in the ring. Austin calls Batista out and after a break, the fight is on. Batista is tossed to the floor and Henry comes back in for a Stunner, allowing Batista to stomp Austin down. Cue a limping Goldberg with a chair to cave in Henry’s skull, followed by spears to Batista and Flair. Austin offers a beer and Goldberg agrees….for a match against Batista next week. The match is made to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Not the worst show in the world but they’re setting things up for Survivor Series. That being said, they’re not even hiding that Austin vs. Bischoff is the big match, even though Goldberg vs. HHH is going to main event because HHH must main event. The rest of the show isn’t great, but when you have twelve people (plus the unofficial Batista) connected to one match, there’s not much else you can do. I’m getting more interested in Survivor Series though and that’s happening at the right time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 2, 2018
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

Should he do something? Over the last few weeks, John Cena has come off as a complete jerk to Undertaker, basically demanding that Undertaker come out of what seems to be retirement to face him. Why would Undertaker do this? Well apparently because the people want to see it and nearly thirty years in WWE isn’t enough to make them happy. Or so Cena says. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with Coach in the ring to emcee a sitdown between Stephanie McMahon (Who dances to the ring and looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world. I know she’s the boss and all that jazz, but could you PLEASE look at least a little worried? It’s Ronda Rousey, not Dana Brooke. This feels like Hollywood Hogan coming to the ring at Starrcade 1997 and that’s not a good thing), HHH, Kurt Angle and Ronda Rousey.

Stephanie mocks the fans for cheering for Rousey and HHH calls Angle’s third I (intelligence) into question. Rousey should be the biggest signing WWE could ever have and Angle is giving her a match on the biggest stage of them all. This is a whopper even for Angle and HHH needs to know why. Rousey cuts Angle off and says she’d like to know too. Why did they sign her under ulterior motives?

Stephanie says Rousey doesn’t quite get how it works around here and promises to teach her the right way after she’s broken down on Sunday. Rousey knows the format and wants her answer so Stephanie says the two of them work for her. Why did Angle cost Rousey (HHH: “And WWE. Thanks Kurt.”) millions of dollars. Angle says she’s RONDA FREAKING ROUSEY and says she’ll make Stephanie tap on Sunday.

HHH laughs it off and we get some questions from Twitter, mainly asking how big this is. Stephanie promises to give Rousey a loss in her first WWE match. Rousey asks if Stephanie is right or left handed. Stephanie: “I’m a rightie.” Rousey: “Good. I just want to make sure you can still sign my checks after I rip your arm off.”

They go for the photo op and a brawl is imminent but HHH breaks it up. Rousey chokes him down but Stephanie slowly slams her through a table. Stephanie brought the annoying here but Rousey’s comeback line (which she stumbled through at the end) wasn’t being topped. If Stephanie doesn’t tap on Sunday though (or at least lose), I don’t know what to tell you.

Bayley vs. Sonya Deville

Bayley wastes no time with a crossbody for two before Sonya goes after the arm. That earns her a takedown out of the corner but Sonya stomps on Bayley to take us to a break. Back with Bayley in a chinlock but fighting back as you might have expected. Bayley knocks her into the corner and goes up top for a high crossbody and no cover. Even Coach wants to know why that wasn’t a cover. Bayley’s running knee to the head gets two and Sonya bails to the floor. That’s not happening as Bayley throws her back in and finishes with a rollup at 9:55.

Rating: D+. Deville isn’t the most interesting character, especially now that you have Rousey as the real MMA woman on the roster. She’s fine in spots like this though and that makes for some perfectly acceptable performances. Bayley was smart for once here by throwing Sonya back in instead of letting her get regrouped with Absolution, meaning her character is actually changing a bit.

Post match the beatdown is on with Sasha Banks running in for the save. Sasha says she wants her hand raised but Bayley will have none of it. A brawl breaks out and Absolution comes back in to beat them both down.

We get a By the Numbers video on Asuka’s streak. This was done before but the numbers are updated here.

265 Wins

0 Losses

35 Women

4 Continents represented

11 Countries represented

8 Former champions submitted

523 Days as NXT Women’s Champion

7^th Longest Reign of all time

1^st Woman to be a Survivor Series sole survivor and win a Royal Rumble

29 Women defeated in the Royal Rumble

15 Former Women’s Champions in the Rumble

904 Days undefeated

Congratulations to Miz and Maryse’s daughter.

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Miz is on commentary as they fight over wristlocks to start. With no one being able to get an advantage, Miz gives a heartfelt speech about how he’s main evented Wrestlemania and won the WWE World Title, but watching his daughter being born was the greatest moment of his life. He held her in his arms and heard her cry and then stop crying. Miz wants her to grow up and be able to be proud of her daddy because having a baby changes people. If Miz isn’t a face off that speech, he’s never going to be again. That was very sweet to hear.

Anyway it’s a standoff as we take an early break. Back with Cole asking Miz if the birth of his daughter is going to make him change his in-ring style. Miz seems to say that it will and promises to give the performance of a lifetime on Sunday. Rollins and Balor slug it out until Seth’s Blockbuster gets two. We hit a chinlock on Balor and get a commercial for AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura (good idea actually).

Back (from a split screen) with Balor fighting up and hitting the running forearms to the head. Balor’s Eye of the Hurricane gets two but Rollins sends him outside for a big suicide dive and we take another break. Back with Rollins superkicking Balor’s head off for two as the fans think this is awesome. Rollins gets kicked in the face and the Coup de Grace is loaded up, only to have Rollins hit his superplex.

Balor counters that into a small package for two, followed by Seth’s Wind-Up knee for the same. Rollins’ frog splash hits knees and Balor small packages him for two as the fans are WAY into this. They head outside with Rollins loading up the shoulder destroying Buckle Bomb. That’s countered as well and they head back in with a wicked Stomp finishing Balor at 22:03.

Rating: B+. Oh yeah they were feeling it here but above all else, you can’t ignore Miz’s heartfelt talks about his daughter. She’s only six days old at this point and of course his heart is going to be even more touched than ever. That’s the kind of thing that can get Miz cheered, or at least add another layer to his character. The match rocked as these two have some excellent chemistry together, especially in this kind of a hard hitting, back and forth match.

We recap the opening segment.

Announced for the Kickoff Show: both battle royals and the Cruiserweight Title match.

Long video on Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns, starting with Brock winning the title last year at Wrestlemania, then skipping about eleven months to Reigns winning the Elimination Chamber and the ensuing beatdowns at Brock’s hands.

Kurt Angle runs into Paul Heyman in the back and asks him not to cause any more drama tonight as he’s worried about Lesnar’s well being. Heyman finds this hilarious but promises to keep it civil tonight.

Here’s the Bar to say they don’t care who Braun Strowman has as a partner. At some point he has to tag them in and that means they can retain the titles. Cue Strowman, to say he doesn’t play well with others. He has to have a partner though and that means he’s got one. That partner is someone in the back and the partner doesn’t appreciate what they were saying.

The Bar wants the partner to come say it to their face. Strowman agrees, but only if the partner can have a match with one of them. Sheamus says it’s on so Strowman goes to get the partner, who is just like him. Strowman leaves and comes back….in a white shirt and glasses. Strowman: “My brother is Braun. I’m BRAINS!”

Brains Strowman vs. Cesaro

The Bar goes after Strowman, who takes off the glasses to reveal THE RUSE! A Brogue Kick rocks Braun but he shoves both of them away. The Bar bails and I don’t think we’re having a match. No match. That was an actually funny idea, making me think it must be Wrestlemania season.

Goldust is ready for the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal but Matt Hardy interrupts him to say that Argos of Ancient Greece and even Goliath himself have been training him to win the battle royal in honor of Humongous Wonder #8. Tonight, Goldust is scheduled for DELETION!

Matt Hardy vs. Goldust

Joined in progress with Matt applauding Goldust and getting punched in the face for his efforts. A spinebuster gives Goldust two and we hit a chinlock. Back up and Matt gets two off the Side Effect but Goldust gets the same off a powerslam. The first Twist of Fate doesn’t work but the second attempt ends Goldust at 3:09.

Rating: D. Just a way to give Matt some momentum (the most valuable thing in WWE anymore) going into the battle royal. The fact that Goldust is still going mostly strong all these years later is nothing short of amazing. He’s awesome at staying solid in the ring and it makes for some impressive performances. Matt could wind up winning the battle royal and it wouldn’t be a big surprise.

Post match Matt goes to the trophy and says PROCURE over and over.

Alexa Bliss and Mickie James suggest Nia Jax is fat and ugly. This needs to be the squashiest squash of all squashifications on Sunday.

Here’s John Cena to say he was wrong because there’s no Undertaker. He’s done everything he could to get Undertaker to DO SOMETHING. That’s not going to get Cena to put his head down though because he won’t walk into New Orleans with his head down. Cena isn’t going to have a match because Cena is going to Wrestlemania as a fan. Earlier today, Cole said go enter the Battle Royal or be Strowman’s partner or be in a triple threat match.

That won’t happen because Cena has lost in his last five pay per view matches. After all that, he would be taking a spot from a full time WWE superstar who has worked hard to earn it. That’s so dumb that I’m not even going to touch it so we’ll move on to Cena wanting one last chance. A match vs. Undertaker will be a match where neither is held back. Now Cena will go to Wrestlemania as a fan and he’s proud of it. He can’t wait to see people like Rollins and Bryan and Rusev and Elias perform on the grandest stage of them all.

Cena offers some praise to the women on the show because success isn’t determined by gender. However, there’s one more thing about Undertaker. The fans did what they could to get Undertaker to Wrestlemania but Cena thinks the fans here in Atlanta haven’t tried yet. Cena: “I don’t think you guys can be loud enough.” He says the cheering here sounds like a Dallas warmup. If they want the lightning they need to be the thunder so let him hear it all the way in Death Valley.

The fans chant for Undertaker but get nothing. Cena says that as soon as you ignore the people, you’re a dead man walking. Now it’s clear that Undertaker left his hat in the ring and his balls at home. That gets nothing either so Cena walks away with no response. Are they really waiting for Sunday to announce this? Because that would be really stupid.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Roman Reigns is in the back when Angle comes in. Angle asks him to leave to keep the peace tonight but Reigns is going to listen to what Heyman says. Roman doesn’t think much of Angle’s fear.

Here’s Elias to say Sunday will be the performance of a lifetime but tonight he’s stuck in this horrible city. He’d rather be in a town that matters but it’s time for a song….which is quickly cut off. They never said what Elias will be doing.

Elias vs. Heath Slater

Elias pounds him down to start and the fans are all behind Slater. After some stomping, Drift Away ends Slater at 1:12.

Strowman is in the back when he runs into Curt Hawkins in a PICK ME BRAUN shirt. Braun asks about Hawkins’ win/loss record and throws him through a wall. Strowman: “There’s your big break.” I’m glad they acknowledged Hawkins as an option.

Rundown of the Wrestlemania Week events.

Earlier today, Nia Jax sat down with Renee Young to talk about what’s been going on with Alexa. She thought Alexa was her best friend and was treated horribly again, just like she was as a child. Those comments hurt and took a toll on her and her confidence. She’s looked in the mirror though and remembered that she’s Nia Jax. Nia: “I don’t take this s***”. She’s big, but that’s who she is and she’s proud of it. With tears in her eyes, Nia promises to squash Bliss like a bug on Sunday. Oh…she better.

Alexa Bliss/Mickie James vs. Dana Brooke/Asuka

Dana and Alexa start things off with Brooke throwing her into a fireman’s carry to freak Bliss out a bit. The fans want Asuka but settle for Mickie hitting Brooke in the face. A takedown gives Dana a breather and we take an abrupt break. Back with Bliss holding Brooke in a chinlock but getting suplexed down for a breather. That’s enough for the hot tag to Asuka and it’s time to clean house in short order. Asuka kicks away but gets kicked in the face, giving Mickie two twice in a row. Not that it matters as the Asuka Lock makes Mickie tap at 10:28.

Rating: D. The weird thing is they’ve built up a pretty nice rivalry between Asuka and Bliss despite having no interest in actually doing the match right now. Nia vs. Bliss is going to be a lot of fun if they do it right but I’m not sure what the point is in keeping Asuka on Raw right now. That being said, she’s getting some exposure and that’s a good thing for her going into a huge match.

Post match the double beatdown is on but here’s Nia for the save. She gets Bliss by the hair but Mickie makes the save and takes the beating for her.

Heyman and Lesnar assure Angle that nothing will go wrong.

Here are Heyman and Lesnar with wrestlers guarding the entrance. Heyman doesn’t think much of Angle’s actions tonight, including failing as Rousey’s mentor. We hear about how this Sunday is a battle between the two men who have defeated Undertaker at Wrestlemania. People think that this is going to be Roman Reigns’ coronation and Heyman respects everything about Lesnar.

However, this Sunday, Lesnar is going to pin Reigns 1-2-3 after an F5. Should an act of God happen though and Reigns win, Heyman and Lesnar will never appear on Raw again. If they’re leaving though, Brock will say goodbye from UFC but Heyman needs to say something now. You know this aura that Heyman has built up since 2002 of Lesnar being above everyone else and that no one is worthy of polishing his boots? It’s all true, because no one in the locker room can hold his jock, let alone take his title.

If Reigns thinks he’s having a victory party, he’s going to have to go home to his family on Sunday night to say he got beat by Brock Lesnar. Heyman: “Roman Reigns, you’re just Brock Lesnar’s b****.” That’s enough to bring out Reigns, who asks why the full time talent is protecting Lesnar. They give Reigns a path and it’s time for the in-ring staredown. The fans chant for Roman (remember he played college football in this town) but Lesnar bails to the floor. Lesnar grabs a chair but it gets Superman Punched into his face. Two more have Brock in trouble and a third puts him down. Reigns picks up the title and is promptly F5’d to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a mixed bag but above all else, it got the job done by making me more interested in some stuff for Sunday. Reigns vs. Lesnar has me intrigued, mainly because they didn’t push the match down our throats this year. It’s not something I’m dying to see but it should be a good power brawl with a big ending. The rest of the show was good enough to make me care about Sunday and that makes this week a success. Of course none of that matters if Sunday is a bomb (which it shouldn’t be) but this week worked for the most part.

Results

Bayley b. Sonya Deville – Rollup

Seth Rollins b. Finn Balor – The Stomp

Matt Hardy b. Goldust – Twist of Fate

Elias b. Heath Slater – Drift Away

Dana Brooke/Asuka b. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James – Asuka Lock to James

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 27, 2003
Location: Crown Coliseum, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Evolution is back to full strength and Goldberg is down to one ankle after last week. Batista made his return from a long injury layoff to collect the bounty on Goldberg. That sets HHH up very well as we head towards Survivor Series, though we don’t have much set up for the show just yet. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week show if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the bounty being cashed in last week. Batista’s return went as well as it could have and makes him look like a killer in the process. This is set to what used to be Rey Mysterio’s WCW music, which must be public domain as it pops up every so often.

Opening sequence.

There’s a cage above the ring. Lawler: “Why is the cage here?” Maybe because there’s a cage match scheduled?

Here’s Evolution minus HHH and of course the fans are very happy to see Ric Flair. We get right to the point (how nice for a change) with Flair saying Goldberg won’t be here tonight. The fans seem rather indifferent, or at worst happy with the news. Batista was the man who did that and says that Goldberg shouldn’t see that as a negative. Instead he should think of it as an honor because HHH was impressed enough to want him taken out.

Batista is that much better than Goldberg and it was him who had all those near misses over the last few weeks. Orton wants to know who the champion is now because Goldberg is DONE. In all fairness it should go back to HHH but here’s Eric Bischoff instead, carrying a bag. Bischoff rants about losing Goldberg, the man he depends on to defend the title around the world. Do you know what losing him does to Bischoff? It makes him the happiest man on the planet.

Goldberg speared Bischoff in this very ring so Eric is very pleased with these results. He pulls the title out of the bag and, since Goldberg can’t defend the title in thirty days, the new champion is…well hang on as here’s Steve Austin to interrupt. Austin reaches into the bag and pulls out a middle finger for Bischoff. Goldberg isn’t going to be stripped of the title because he’s going to be defending it at Survivor Series against HHH.

Flair is livid, despite what should be the biggest layup in the world. Austin: “Settle down before you blow your pacemaker.” That’s the bottom line and Austin goes to leave but Batista says hang on a second. That kind of disrespect sounds like Austin is looking for physical provocation. A fight is teased but here are Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade (because WWE doesn’t learn lessons) to attack Orton and Flair.

Trish Stratus and Lita, in their underwear for obvious reasons, talk about Chris Jericho and Christian’s recent changes of heart. Lita is going to go see what she can find out.

Booker T. vs. Rico

Miss Jackie grabs Booker’s foot to start and Rico fires off the kicks to start. A chinlock goes nowhere as Jerry wants Rico to go back in the closet. The ax kick misses, Rico’s big kick misses and the ax kick finishes Rico in short order.

Post match here’s Jericho to yell at Booker for being on the wrong team at Survivor Series. He brings out the rest of Team Bischoff, now including Christian and Scott Steiner. Jericho wants the cage lowered and the big beatdown is on. Rob Van Dam comes in for the save and declares himself the newest member of Team Austin. That match is really starting to take shape.

Post break Jericho is yelling at Bischoff over Van Dam interfering. Jericho’s solution? Let him win the Intercontinental Title tonight. Bischoff agrees.

Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm

Teddy Long and Henry aren’t happy at losing the $100,000 last week and it’s time to get some payback. Henry throws him around for a few moments until Shawn Michaels runs in and superkicks Henry for the DQ. So much for Storm’s push.

Heidenreich is ready to team with Hurricane in his tag match. Hurricane mentions Little Johnny but he couldn’t be here tonight. Rosey comes up to take a picture of them and Hurricane mentions Johnny being Heidenreich’s son. Actually that’s not right and Heidenreich whispers the real story in Hurricane’s ear. The jaw drops and Rosey takes the picture, leaving Hurricane to say “and people say I’M weird for wearing a cape?”

Lita goes up to Christian in the back and wants to know what happened last week. Christian was reading her book and there’s a picture of the two of them holding hands. Apparently there was a bit of history but Lita acts like it’s nothing now. She leaves for her match, a bit flustered.

Shane McMahon has a match with a mystery opponent tonight and hopes it’s Kane.

Hurricane/Heidenreich vs. La Resistance

Conway jumps Hurricane as he tries to give his mask away but something like a backslide into the Eye of the Hurricane puts Conway down instead. Hurricane isn’t done and hits a big flip dive over the top to take Dupree down as well. Back in and Conway scores with a hanging swinging neckbreaker to really take over as Heidenreich tries to come in for the save.

We hit the USA chants (from the Army, Air Force and Marines members in the crowd) until a clothesline cuts Hurricane down for two more. It’s off to the chinlock as the announcers start with the FRANCE SUCKS jokes. A neckbreaker gets Hurricane out of trouble and it’s Heidenreich coming in to clean house. Conway eats a bicycle kick for two and a Rock Bottom is enough to put him away.

Rating: D+. Fairly boring here but good grief I’m sick of the RAH RAH RAH USA USA USA matches. I know Vince loves that kind of stuff but it’s getting a little hard to take. If nothing else, have someone better than La Resistance as the evil anti-Americans. They’ve lost most of their last few matches and it’s getting harder and harder to care.

Post match Heidenreich breaks up an attempt to wave the French flag.

Shane McMahon vs. ???

No DQ and the mystery opponent is…..Test? Well maybe not as he has a broken foot and is on crutches while wearing street clothes. He’s here to introduce the mystery opponent tonight and it’s….Test. Uh, ok then. Shane peppers him with left hands and stomps on the bad foot, sending Test to the floor to call for backup.

Shane goes up top and loads up a dive but Test pulls Stacy in front of him. With Test shouting for Kane (by name), Shane hammers away until Test sends him into the steps. But now, let’s wait for Test to shout for Kane again. A full nelson slam plants Shane but rather than covering, TEST SHOUTS FOR KANE.

It’s weapons time with Test in control until Stacy slows him down. The distraction lets Shane get in a few shots and load up the Van Terminator. Kane’s pyro goes off and Test gets in a crutch shot for two. The pumphandle slam is countered into a DDT onto the trashcan for two more and they’re both rocked. Shane chairs him into the corner and now the Van Terminator connects for the pin.

Rating: D. Let me make sure I’ve got this straight: we spent months on Test vs. Steiner and the next step is Test getting to job to Shane on Raw? I still have no idea why this needs to be Shane when he could be any given wrestler. He’s better than Stephanie due to the more logical motivation and having better matches but still, this could be anyone else who needs the spotlight.

Post match Shane accuses Kane of being scared. He should be scared, but he should be showing his face. If Kane won’t come out, he’ll offer a demonstration. That means beating Test up even more and crushing his foot on the steps with a chair. This brings Kane to the stage but no further. Shane announces that Survivor Series will be an ambulance match, which is even dumber than what they’ve been doing so far.

Trish Stratus vs. Lita vs. Gail Kim vs. Victoria

#1 contenders match. Lita knees Victoria in the corner and Trish gets two off a spinebuster. Molly, in jeans, a leather jacket and a low cut top (by her standards) is watching from the stage. That’s a rather nice look for her. Trish’s rollup gets two on Victoria and takes her down with a headscissors out of the corner.

Stevie Richards takes Trish down though and Lita gets double teamed. A powerbomb gets two on Gail and the Widow’s Peak gets the same on Lita. Victoria and Gail get in a fight with Kim being sent outside, leaving Lita to grab a DDT for the pin. Too short to rate, but it’s as rushed as you would imagine a four way that doesn’t even last three minutes to be.

Coach is getting his makeup done while reading Austin’s new book.

Video on Hawk.

Here’s Coach to review the book. He even has a podium with The Coach’s Book Review on a sign. Coach calls most of the statements in the book lies, focusing on Bischoff firing Austin from WCW. Cue Austin to offer Coach a free shot but Coach offers him the same thing. Austin has to decline but after his team wins at Survivor Series, he’d like Coach to do the post match interview because it’s the first face Austin wants to see.

Jindrak and Cade are ready to win so here’s Shawn to give them a pep talk. They go off for their match when Teddy comes in to yell about Shawn superkicking Henry. Teddy wants Henry vs. the “Heart Break Cracker” next week. Shawn says he could have cut off the rhetoric “you feel me playa?” Teddy: “Holla.” Teddy leaves so here’s Bischoff to have security escort Shawn from the arena.

JR and King thank the fans for their viewership as Raw was the highest rated cable show of the week.

Mark Jindrak/Garrison Cade vs. Ric Flair/Randy Orton

Orton and Jindrak start things off but hang on a second as MAVEN, the definition of inspiration, is here to cancel out Batista. Make your own jokes, but that speaks for itself. Cade comes in and gets stomped down before it’s off to Flair (in red, meaning he’s likely losing) for an elbow to the jaw. Orton’s dropkick gets two but a double clothesline allows the hot tag to Jindrak.

Some very nice dropkicks have Evolution in trouble but Flair rolls Jindrak up. The referee is busy though so Maven comes in, runs at Flair with his arm extended, BARELY grazes Ric’s hair, and somehow turns the rollup over to give Jindrak the pin. I had to rewind the video a few times to see how Maven could have possibly missed that. Flair didn’t duck, so yes, Maven managed to miss a still target on a running clothesline.

Rating: D. The ending is absolutely the right call (though Maven needs target practice) as the young guys getting a pin is a good thing. However, they’re just so boring and uninteresting that their win is only going to get them so far. Give them a team name (or better names in general) or some matching gear or a gimmick of some sort. Just do SOMETHING because they’re putting me to sleep.

Evolution wrecks the boring guys post match. Batista looks very good dominating people here.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

Rob is defending and wastes no time with a spinning crossbody out of the corner. Jericho blocks a charge with a raised boot and a jumping enziguri gets two. They’re not exactly wasting any time here. We hit the double arm crank on the champ but Rob is quickly out and avoiding a charge into the post to send Jericho’s shoulder into the steel. Back up and the Five Star misses so Jericho can sneak in a low blow. The Walls go on but here’s Bischoff to distract the referee. As you might expect, Van Dam’s rope grab isn’t seen and Jericho pulls him back to the middle of the ring for the tap.

Rating: C-. It was fun while it lasted but it didn’t last long at all. I know Van Dam was in the ropes but he’s tapping out in less than five minutes? That’s quite the stretch and while I can buy it, you know this is going to be setting up a rematch and that’s not the worst thing in the world. These two work well enough together that I’d like to see them go at it again.

Hang on a second as Austin comes out and makes the rematch RIGHT NOW….inside of that steel cage. Bischoff runs up the ramp to yell at Austin but trips into him by mistake, meaning the chase is on.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam

Jericho is defending inside a cage. Joined in progress with Rob in trouble thanks to the weakened back. A missed dropkick makes things even worse and Jericho drops an elbow for good measure. It’s off to the backbreaker with Jericho bending the back over his knee (thank goodness for mixing up the holds) as the back is banged up even worse.

Rob sends him into the cage a few times for his first offense but it’s too early to go over the top. Instead Jericho pulls him down and slams him off the top. This time it’s Jericho going up but Rob pulls him back down and they fall down to the mat in a double heap. Rob pulls him in again and superkicks him off the ropes before going over the top. Jericho goes for the door but Rob kicks it into his head and wins the title back.

Rating: D+. Well ok then. I guess the idea here is to show the power struggle between Bischoff and Austin, just in case the last four months didn’t explain that in enough detail. The match was, again, too short to mean anything but at least they both get a second reign out of the thing. That Jericho reign is probably shorter than Dean Douglas’ though, so at least we got some history out of the thing.

Post match Christian and Steiner come in to destroy Van Dam. Cue the Dudleys through the crowd to even things up but Mark Henry comes in as well. Teddy locks the cage as the beating is on so here’s Booker T. to dive off the top of the cage. Henry shrugs it off and hits a bunch of World’s Strongest Slams to end the show. They certainly added to that match in a hurry.

Overall Rating: D. This is a give and take show. While there’s nothing good in the way of wrestling, there is a clear plan for where most (if not all) of these stories are going. You can see a lot of Survivor Series from here and that’s a major upgrade over the meandering stories that basically came down to “how can we make HHH look good”. While not a good show, it’s actually a positive sign for the future and that’s not something you get too often on Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 26, 2018
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’ve got two shows to go before New Orleans and WWE is still dragging its feet to get to John Cena vs. the Undertaker. Tonight we have Cena vs. Kane though, which is likely the next step on the way to the big showdown. Other than that, we might get a few more names added to the battle royals. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to open things up. Heyman recaps the attack on Roman Reigns last week and of course we see some clips. As it turns out, Reigns’ suspension is lifted but he’s not here tonight. Heyman goes over the Samoan wrestling family raising Roman to be a star and a champion. What they didn’t raise him to be is a man.

Reigns was the one saying he was here every single week no matter what but he’s not here tonight. Maybe Reigns should have found three MMA students, dressed them up like US Marshals and beaten the heck out of them before starting a fight with Lesnar. Reigns isn’t man enough to do that though, nor is he man enough to show up here and take another beating from Brock.

Heyman loads up the end but Reigns is in the crowd. He comes out swinging with a chair and gets in a few shots but Brock runs him over. A HARD shot to the face with the steps puts Reigns down and Brock lays him out with the chair. Brock goes to leave but comes back with an F5 onto the steps. Reigns is left laying, again. The story they’re telling here is good, but Reigns not even missing a single show isn’t helping. That and the fans don’t want to cheer for Reigns and there isn’t much of a way around that problem.

Nia Jax vs. Mickie James

Nia knocks her to the floor in short order and we take a break. Back with Jax stomping away in the corner and Mickie bailing to the floor. Alexa Bliss offers a distraction and a chop block takes Nia down. Back in and a hard slam looks to set up the legdrop but Nia only hits mat. A running kick to the face drops Nia again and a missed charge makes things even worse. Mickie kicks the knee out and goes up top, earning herself a gorilla press into a Samoan drop for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: D+. The knee stuff was fine but this was what it should have been: Nia winning in a match that was just a step above a squash. She needs to destroy Bliss even faster at Wrestlemania but I have a feeling that they’ll have the match go longer in an attempt for something “epic”. That’s not what the story calls for, but we got what it calls for here.

Post match Alexa gets in a cheap shot but the glare in response sends her running.

We get a package on Ronda Rousey’s WWE career with HHH and Stephanie McMahon adding in sitdown comments. HHH says this could have been a perfect employee but Rousey and Angle had to run their mouths. We see them training and hear from the Performance Center coach who talks about how hard they train all the time. Stephanie is ready for anything and HHH never stops training.

See, Rousey is coming into a ring that Stephanie owns because she’s wrestled before. At Wrestlemania, Rousey will be humbled like everyone else that has come at the Authority. Good stuff here, but if they even think about having Stephanie be competitive against Rousey on an even remotely even playing field, they’re dumber than I thought.

Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali vs. TJP/Drew Gulak

Joined in progress with Ali in trouble and 205 Live General Manager Drake Maverick on commentary. Gulak gets two off a neckbreaker but Ali fights out of the chinlock and makes the hot tag to Alexander. Everything breaks down in short order and Ali hits a huge flip dive onto Gulak. Back in and Cedric hits the Neuralizer with Ali making a blind tag. The Lumbar Check sets up the 054 for the pin on TJP at 4:02. Cedric isn’t happy with the blind tag.

Rating: C. Tension between these two is a good idea and it’s a smart move to put them on the show before their title match at Wrestlemania. The build between these two has been great stuff so far and that’s all you can ask for in something like this. The title match should be a lot of fun so having some more build like this would be a good thing.

It’s time for MizTV and the fans give Miz a WELCOME HOME chant. Miz: “I live in LA.” Miz wants to talk about some personal issues and that means the Miztourage. They seem to

think things have been going well for them but Miz isn’t so pleased. For two weeks in a row they’ve let him down and that’s not acceptable. If Miz wanted failure, he never would have left Cleveland. Dallas says they’re doing everything they can but Miz tells him to Bo-Lieve himself back to catering.

Cue Seth Rollins to say that for the first time on MizTV, this is great stuff. Seth offers to mediate and asks when was the last time Miz thanked Dallas and Axel. Miz goes on a rant about himself and Bo calls him a phony A-lister who can’t fight. For some reason Miz couldn’t hear that so here’s Finn Balor to interrupt. He heard what Bo said: Miz was the biggest jerk that he’s ever met. Dallas repeats what he actually said and then realizes that he might have screwed up a little.

Miz wants to hear him say that again and the fight is almost on. That calms Miz down as he says this should be all about him retaining the title for 34 more days. If Miz reaches that milestone, he’ll be the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. He’ll be better than Randy Savage, Shawn Michaels and Mr. Perfect. That’s a step too far for Axel (big Shawn fan), who stands next to Dallas. Again, reality sets in so Miz cancels the show to the fans’ delight.

The Miztourage won’t let him leave though as Rollins and Balor are very pleased. The four of them surround Miz and of course it’s a ruse with the Miztourage jumping Balor and Rollins. Cue Anderson and Gallows for the save, leaving Miz alone with Balor. A belt shot misses and Balor hits a Sling Blade but Rollins can’t hit the curb stomp. Balor and Rollins get in a fight over the title as Miz tries a sneak attack. That goes badly for him as well, allowing Balor to take Rollins down. Good segment here, and thank goodness they didn’t make it a five way.

Kane is ready to destroy Cena tonight because Cena isn’t going to Wrestlemania.

Asuka vs. Jamie Frost

Jamie says Asuka doesn’t know her so she’s not ready. Kick to the face ends Frost at 32 seconds.

We hear about Cole apologizing in advance for the Ultimate Deletion. Matt Hardy has since referred to him as an obsolete mule.

Stills of the Ultimate Deletion.

Matt talks about Bray Wyatt’s tyrannical reign being replaced by Senor Benjamin’s spring daisies. Now Matt needs to set his sights on Wrestlemania by honoring the legacy of “amazing world wonder number eight” by entering the battle royal. Everyone else will be DELETED.

Cole: “That was OBNOXIOUS!”

Sasha Banks and Bayley are in the back with Bayley saying she’s in the battle royal. Banks wants to talk about last week so Bayley rants about how Banks thinks she’s the best thing in the world. That’s true, and Banks isn’t making any apologies for it. Maybe Bayley should do the same so everyone doesn’t think she’s a loser. Bayley thinks Sasha is doing it because everyone knows she can’t beat her.

Sasha is a four time Women’s Champion but Bayley asks how long she kept it. Those are fighting words and it’s on with Sasha getting the better of it until referees break things up. More horrible acting, as you can tell they were just reading a script. How hard can it be to say “you’re mad at each other because Sasha can’t beat Bayley, go bicker with each other for a minute”? If they don’t have any more faith in them than that, don’t give them live microphones.

Braun Strowman comes out for a match but here’s the Bar to demand to know Strowman’s partner. Strowman will tell them if Sheamus can beat him. Maybe they’ll get an answer, but they’re going to GET THESE HANDS.

Braun Strowman vs. Sheamus

Strowman gets low bridged to start and might have tweaked his knee. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up and a single forearm puts Sheamus on the floor as well. Sheamus gets sent outside again and we take a break. Back with Sheamus kicking at the knee for a bit until Braun fights up and tosses him to the floor. Sheamus makes the mistake of standing there, allowing Braun to run him over with the big shoulder. Back in and Braun goes shoulder first into the post. It doesn’t seem to matter as the powerslam ends Sheamus at 7:53.

Rating: D+. Man I could go for a Sheamus vs. Braun hoss fight with the roles reversed. If there’s one thing Sheamus can do, it’s hit people really hard in a good brawl. I’m down with not knowing the partner before Wrestlemania, as the anticipation could make it a lot of fun. Not much here, and hopefully the knee injury isn’t anything.

Here’s Kurt Angle to bring out Ronda Rousey. Angle talks about Stephanie and HHH being ready for anything so Wrestlemania is going to be a lot of fun. Rousey was watching that video earlier and Stephanie is tough, but she’s trust fun tough. She’s limousine riding tough. At Wrestlemania, she’s get what’s coming to her when Ronda takes her arm out of its socket.

Cue Absolution with Paige saying this is their world. It’s nice that Rousey is going into her first match but she needs backup. Rousey could be the fourth member of Absolution! That’s a no from Ronda so Paige sends the other two after her. Deville goes down with one shot and Rousey suplexes Mandy into Sonya’s legs. Rousey grabs Mandy’s arm and cranks a bit but Angle calms her down. That’s very Ken Shamrock of her. This was another rough segment from Rousey, but once she goes beast mode, she’s exactly what WWE wants her to be. The talking though….needs some work.

We recap the opening sequence.

Anderson and Gallows vs. Miztourage

Joined in progress with Anderson hitting the Rocket Kick (HI-YAH) in the corner on Axel but a Dallas distraction lets Curtis shove him to the floor. A chinlock keeps things down until Anderson fights up with a spinebuster. The hot tag brings in Gallows for a kick to Axel’s head and a big splash keeps him in trouble. The Boot of Doom only gets two with Dallas making the save. Not that it matters as the Magic Killer finishes Axel at 4:36.

Rating: C-. Slightly better than I was expecting here as they had some nice near falls. Anderson and Gallows are the much better team going forward as the Miztourage is really only there as lackeys. I could see Anderson and Gallows going after whoever Strowman wins the titles with in an early losing effort down the line.

Here’s Elias to talk about performing on the grandest stage of them all in thirteen days. He’s not happy with going from Madison Square Garden over the weekend to Cleveland tonight but just like LeBron James, he’s leaving soon. After a song about hating Cleveland, it’s time for a match.

Elias vs. Rhyno

Rhyno runs him over with a shoulder to start but gets taken down with a clothesline. A chinlock doesn’t last long but Rhyno’s comeback is even shorter as Drift Away gives Elias the pin at 1:25.

Long recap of Cena challenging Undertaker to no avail.

John Cena vs. Kane

No DQ. Kane wastes no time in stomping Cena down and a big boot puts him on the floor. We’re already in the chinlock and Cena can’t power up with the AA as Kane falls down onto him for two. They head outside with Cena being sent into the steps as we take a break. Back with Kane knocking him through the crowd and hitting a suplex onto a well placed piece of barricade. They head back to the ring with Kane putting him down and going to take off a turnbuckle.

Cena sits up and sends him into the buckle, followed by the throat slit. A chokeslam gets two on Kane and it’s table time. Kane sits up this time though and shoves the table over before the AA can connect. Instead he sends Cena through the table in the corner for two. Rather than going after Cena even more, it’s another table being set up instead. The chokeslam is countered into an AA through the table to give Cena the pin at 14:02.

Rating: C. I’m still not interested in seeing Cena vs. Kane but at least they’re doing something else to set up the match than the usual stuff. That being said, Cena acting like Undertaker is some horrible person for wanting to retire because Cena wants a match at Wrestlemania is flimsy at best. This was perfectly fine for a house show main event.

Post match Cena wants to know where the lightning is. He calls Undertaker a coward again because there’s no response. Cena is willing to go to Wrestlemania as a fan because all he wants is SOMETHING from Undertaker. There’s just one week left to go because Undertaker has one week left to do something and define his career. Oh good grief. Anyway Cena wants him here next week because it’s Undertaker’s last chance.

Overall Rating: C+. This week was mainly about advancing the stories that were already set up and I’m getting more and more excited for Wrestlemania every week. There’s a very solid card to be found in there, though stuff like Cena acting as if Undertaker’s career means nothing because he’s old and broken down doesn’t do much for me. The good stuff was good here and they’re getting my interest up, which is all that matters right now.

Results

Nia Jax b. Mickie James – Samoan drop

Cedric Alexander/Mustafa Ali b. TJP/Drew Gulak – 054 to TJP

Asuka b. Jamie Frost – Kick to the head

Braun Strowman b. Sheamus – Powerslam

Anderson and Gallows b. Miztourage – Magic Killer to Axel

Elias b. Rhyno – Drift Away

John Cena b. Kane – Attitude Adjustment through a table

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6