Impact Wrestling – March 2, 2017: And So, it Ends

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 2, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

We’re in a weird spot here as this is the final taping before the promotion is completely overhauled into Jeff Jarrett’s new vision. It’s also the final show for a lot of talent, including the Hardys who have publicly stated they’ve left the company. Other than that we have Lashley defending the World Title against Josh Barnett. Let’s get to it.

Knockouts Title: Jade vs. Rosemary

No intro and Madison Rayne is on commentary. Jade is challenging and this is Last Knockout Standing. They start brawling in the aisle with Jade grabbing some German suplexes inside. Madison: “I think Jade knows it’s going to take more than some German suplexes to keep Rosemary down.” That’s the kind of commentary that people mock Madison for but I’m sure Josh will say she’s the best female commentator ever.

The weapons are brought in and Rosemary chokes Jade over the ropes. A short range Coast to Coast drives a garbage can into Jade’s face for a seven but Jade swings away with a kendo stick. Madison keeps prattling on until Pope cuts her off as Jade powerbombs Rosemary onto the can.

Jade comes off the top and dives into the mist and a Red Wedding (F5) for another near fall. Back up and Jade is knocked to the floor and another Red Wedding outside gets nine. Rosemary gets posted and Jade washes her eyes out before powerbombing the champion onto the steps. That’s still not enough to finish things off so Rosemary mists her again. A third Red Wedding on the stage retains the title at 11:09.

Rating: C. Jade hit a big move, Rosemary hit a big move, Jade hit another big move, Rosemary used the mist, Madison got really annoying every time she talked. This was entertaining while it lasted but it was also a very formula based match and a result we’ve seen so many times already. Rosemary really needs a new opponent and if it’s not Allie, I have no idea what they’re going for.

Moose wants Cody.

Matt Hardy has brought the family to his zoo for a day of togetherness. On top of that though, Matt wants to see how Jeff can handle his new found powers.

Moose calls Cody out for a fight and he doesn’t care what club he’s a part of. Cody comes in from behind as Josh rips on Moose for getting involved in Rhodes Family business. Moose fights back and powerbombs some production guys before getting into it with Cody again on the ramp. Wrestlers try to break it up and here’s Brandi to yell at Cody to stop. Cody agrees but beats up Josh Matthews instead. Well I’m a fan.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

Josh is back on commentary and talking about his dedication to the job to be back. Tony Schiavone and Jim Ross would be out of action for months you see. Oh….joy. Storm jumps Jesse to start and grabs a belly to belly. It’s off to the Adonis Lock but here’s Kingston for a distraction so James can take out the knee. Josh: “I could have used someone like Kingston earlier when Cody was out here!”

We hit a quickly broken leglock as Josh is now insulting Jeremy Borash. Jesse fights up with a clothesline and gets two off a Blockbuster. Now we get to hear about Josh’s in-ring career (He was undefeated. Like a certain other heel commentator at Wrestlemania perhaps?) as Kingston gets inside. Jesse suplexes him and grabs another Adonis Lock to make Storm tap behind the referee’s back. Cue Bram to chair Jesse, setting up the Last Call for the pin at 6:30.

Rating: D. So you have two problems here and I’ll let you pick which is worse. First up, we have Matthews running his mouth non-stop and becoming the heel character who will be on the show for two hours straight every single week. Second, we have the DCC needing three weeks and cheating to beat Jesse Godderz, which is supposed to be a big deal. I really, really hope they make a change to commentary because Pope as the lead face and Josh as a heel isn’t going to work.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett

Lee is defending. Everett doesn’t waste time and gets in an early Pele to send Lee outside for a big flip dive. Another big flip dive takes Lee down again and a top rope Asai Moonsault has Lee reeling. Back in and Lee does his running C4 and hammers away but the announcers are arguing about something changing next week.

Lee stomps away in the corner and gets two off a clothesline as Josh tells Pope to cut out the comedy. A springboard missile dropkick puts Lee down but Everett can’t follow up. The hurricanrana driver plants Lee but Gregory Helms grabs the referee at two. Everett chases Gregory off and tries the shooting star which hits raised knees. Lee grabs a rollup with trunks for the pin to retain at 7:11.

Rating: C-. Everett was a good looking flipper and that’s about it. The Helms thing feels like an X-Division version of Ric Flair and HHH which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. At least we had some entertaining stuff here but the division is in need of (another) overhaul and I don’t know if I believe TNA is going to do it.

Matt tells Jeff to feed a donkey named Vincent Van Gogh. Vincent tells him to get a shark and keep it in a salt water pool. Jeff has a pre-mo-nition that says they’ll be outnumbered in an upcoming fight. Everyone grabs Vanguard I and it’s time for the next trip on the Expedition of Gold.

Back from a break and the Hardys arrive at an undisclosed arena.

After a look at Lashley and Barnett warming up, the Hardys are backstage and demanding a shot at the National Tag Team Titles of the World. Senor Benjamin asks the #1 contenders (apparently named the Appalachian Outlaws, who won a sixty four team tournament) for their autographs and then electrocutes them. The Hardys offer to replace them and agree to work without being paid.

The match is made and turns into a hardcore brawl in the back with Matt being left alone. Jeff is stuck in the back getting beaten down by the Outlaws but Jeff and Benjamin bust out the fireworks. The Outlaws bail and Jeff comes back to the ring for the win and the titles, setting up a big celebration.

Drew Galloway comes up to Moose in the back and offers him a shot tonight.

Long recap of last week’s wedding.

Laurel is in the back, crying and screaming, still wearing the wedding dress and holding the champagne.

Global Title: Moose vs. Drew Galloway

Galloway is defending and kicks Moose in the face to start before it quickly goes outside. Drew gets the better of it and sends Moose into the steps, setting up the Celtic Cross onto said steps for a near countout. The bell saves Moose but he still loses the first round. The second round begins after a break with Moose kicking Drew in the face and running him over as a bonus. A moonsault gets two on the champ so he bails up the ramp, only to get caught like you would expect.

Something like an AA (not a Death Valley Driver) onto the apron drops Moose again but he powerbombs Drew onto the apron as well. Again it’s nearly a countout but this time Moose wins to tie the score. To continue the theme, they kick each other in the face to start the round. Moose is back up with the Game Changer for two but Galloway hits a Claymore and a Tombstone for the same. They slug it out with Moose getting the better of it and no selling another Claymore. A second Game Changer takes us to the end of the match at 15:13. Moose wins on a split decision and Josh starts complaining.

Rating: B-. This is mainly due to Galloway leaving and needing to get the title off of him in time. Now in theory that should have been done with the Hardys as well but you can’t expect TNA to get something right twice in a night. Anyway, they beat the heck out of each other here and Moose winning is the right idea, especially with a good performance like that. I’m not wild on Drew leaving but you have to get the title off of him here and that’s exactly what they did.

Drew throws a chair.

We get the same Barnett video from last week.

TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Josh Barnett

Lashley is defending and gets kicked in the head for his efforts. More kicks have Josh in control but Lashley takes him to the mat as we go to a break. Back with Lashley taking a jumping knee to the chest but grabbing an armbar to slow things down. The spear is countered into a cross armbreaker attempt but Lashley is in the ropes. Barnett’s keylock is countered and a spear gives Lashley the pin at 9:21.

Rating: D+. That’s an edited ending as there was originally a screwy finish with Barnett getting the pin but having it reversed a few moments later. As it is, this was little more than Lashley’s latest uninteresting test as Barnett doesn’t have much standing in TNA and his debut promo was weak at best. Just a match really and not a very interesting one, as is often the case with MMA style wrestling matches.

A preview of next week’s show with a list of names appearing (nothing out of the ordinary) takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. And that’s it for this version of TNA. The big development here seems to be Josh Matthews doing his best Michael Cole impression. That character got old fast and Cole is FAR more enjoyable to hate than Matthews so I give this a good week before he’s the most annoying person in wrestling. Unfortunately it’s not in the good way but rather the “I’m not going to watch the show anymore because he’s driving me crazy” way that I’m sure a lot of fans will reach soon.

As for something resembling a season finale, it was fine enough with the Grand Championship changing hands and a main event with some resolution. I liked the show well enough, even though it’s not a show that is really going to mean anything going forward. When so much of the roster is gone and there’s a good chance a lot of it will be adjusted, there isn’t much of a point to this one. Still though, not horrible and that’s fine for what this was supposed to be.

Results

Rosemary b. Jade – Red Wedding on the stage

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Trevor Lee b. Andrew Everett – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Moose b. Drew Galloway via split decision

Lashley b. Josh Barnett – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – February 16, 2017: I Think I Like This Better Than the Wrestling Show

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The big story coming out of last week is the full on split of the Wolves as Davey Richards cost Eddie Edwards his last shot at the TNA World Title. While you can probably guess the reason behind the split, it should be interesting to hear the actual explanation. Other than that we also have the saga of Braxton Sutter and company which seems to be setting up a wedding. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Expedition of Gold, which will take the Hardys to Tijuana, Mexico this week.

Video on Davey turning on Eddie.

Moose/Brandi Rhodes vs. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary

I know I say it every time she’s out but Brandi is a very beautiful woman. Moose is wrestling in a shirt for some reason here. The guys get things going with Steve bouncing off Moose multiple times. Rosemary offers a distraction so Steve can take over, which must last for a good fifteen seconds. Abyss’ interference does a bit better and everything breaks down with Decay taking over.

Moose will have none of that and LAUNCHES Steve onto Abyss at ringside. Rosemary jumps onto Moose’s back and it’s time for Brandi’s still awkward chops (yeah they’re still awkward but she’s only had a few months of ring time and she’s clearly trying as hard as she can). A middle rope missile dropkick puts Rosemary down as Pope still tries to get Mini-Moose over as a nickname. The matching pump punches have Decay in trouble and stereo Game Changers are enough for the double pin at 5:43.

Rating: C-. For someone who hasn’t even been in the ring for a year, Brandi already looks more comfortable than a lot of the Diva era wrestlers. Like, she’s already miles better than Torrie Wilson or the Kat or anyone like that, which may not sound like much but it suggests that she has a bright future if she wants to stay in the ring. I’m sure we’ll get to the “where’s Cody” stuff later on and that’s where we get the feud out of this.

Eddie Edwards isn’t here to talk because he wants to hurt Davey.

Moose tells Brandi he’s there for her whenever she needs. There was no hint of anything romantic in the way he said it.

We look back at the end of last week’s show.

Eddie calls out Davey but he gets Angelina Love instead, saying there’s no Davey until she says so. Basically Eddie abandoned Davey while he was recovering from knee surgery and forgot about his “brother”. Love says Eddie can have Davey now and introduces the American Wolf (new nickname) but Eddie cuts her off and says to let go of her husband’s balls.

Davey grabs the mic and goes on a rant about how he created the team and the Wolves’ Nation. Richards offers him a chance to leave but Eddie goes straight up the aisle to start the brawl. Security breaks it up so Eddie says this isn’t over as Davey tries to crawl in the ring. We get a challenge for a street fight later tonight and Davey seems more than game.

Ok….that was great. I was really, REALLY worried about this feud when I first heard about it because their ROH feud was such a disaster but this already fixed the major problem of the ROH version: there’s a reason for them to hate each other. The previous one was a bunch of “I respect you but I want Dan Severn to train me because this is suddenly an MMA promotion” and I have no idea why that’s supposed to entertain me. This felt like two guys who wanted to kill each other and they got to the point immediately. I can easily go for something like that.

Mike Bennett has a bachelor party for Braxton Sutter, who is miserable. It’s basically a frat party with people all around thirty years old and Sutter wants to leave.

It’s off to Tijuana where the Hardys are challenging for the Mexican Tag Team Championships of the World. Matt and Jeff demand to speak to the promoter and yell in Spanish at a luchador who speaks English. Konnan, the promotion’s owner, wants to make money off their appearance.

Now we have Laurel Van Ness’ bachelorette party with Allie having st up a very sweet room with streamers, balloons and confetti everywhere. Maria yells at her for making it look like a children’s party. Allie is devastated when she hears about how it’s for Laurel and Braxton’s wedding.

Kingston vs. Jesse Godderz

Kingston chops away to start and shrugs off a dropkick by raking the eyes. We hit the choking on the middle rope before Jesse makes his comeback with clotheslines and a Blockbuster for two. An STO puts Jesse down for the same but he nails a quick enziguri. Godderz hits a springboard….I guess we’ll say forearm for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here and again I don’t get the idea of having the DCC losing so often. This was a completely clean pinfall loss to Jesse Godderz of all people and that’s a really bad sign. I can’t even think of a signature win for them at this point and that’s horrible after they debuted so strong.

The DCC comes out post match but Jesse is smart enough to bail.

The bachelor party continues to be horrible with an overweight man crushing the drug dealer.

Allie tries to liven the party up with noisemakers but Maria yells at her again. Sienna just wants to drink.

Tyrus has taken over Fact of Life and brings out someone who was never his friend: Eli Drake, whose arm is in a sling. Drake can’t sit at the desk so the sling comes off in a hurry. Eli yells at Tyrus for making decisions that he didn’t approve of and not watching his back like Tyrus is supposed to do. No one owns Tyrus and a match is made for next week.

Back in Tijuana (this show has more scene cuts than a Total Divas episode), Konnan says he can’t pay the Hardys but his messenger says they don’t want money. The Hardys come in to see Konnan and agree to wrestle for the titles for no pay. Matt: “Money is for marks.” The Hardys leave and Konnan tells the staff to start making and selling as much bootleg Hardy merchandise as they can.

Maria yells at Allie for the amount of pink at the party. Allie can be a ring bearer next week and gets frosting thrown in her face. The ladies take the gifts (including lingerie) and leave.

We get the match from Tijuana with the Hardys challenging Super Crazy and Psicosis for the Crash Tag Team Titles. While the match is going on, the promotion’s women hit on Vanguard I because the women of this promotion aren’t all that smart. We only see clips of the match with the Hardys hitting all their signature stuff to win with a Swanton to Crazy. Of note: the referee was blurred out because he works for Lucha Underground, who threatened legal action against TNA if they showed one of their contracted workers.

After the match, the Hardys teleport back to North Carolina before Konnan and company can stop them. Konnan: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DISAPPEARED???” Back in North Carolina, the Hardys literally throw the belts into a bag and go off to win the Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Titles next week. Hint: you might not want to show us the celebration after winning the belts.

Video on Brooke returning to TNA and being targeted by the Lady Squad.

Sienna vs. Brooke

Maria offers an early distraction to start and Sienna takes over with forearms and a spinebuster. Brooke gets in some forearms of her own as Madison Rayne explains why Maria is the most amazing Knockout ever. Another Maria distraction lets Sienna get in a running clothesline as Josh talks about how you can get a Louisville Slugger baseball bat signed by Jeff Hardy. Maria chokes on the rope and offers a distraction so Sienna can choke as well. As Maria talks about how the Knockouts show their midsections, Brooke fights off the double teaming and rolls Sienna up for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was fine but WOW Madison Rayne is one of the most annoying commentators I’ve ever heard. She doesn’t really have a character and isn’t a heel or a face but rather just a woman talking a lot. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to add anything to the match but I’m sure it’s completely necessary.

One of Bennett’s friends wants to put in an adult DVD but Bennett says it’s time for something special. That would be a stripper who sounds like she’s smoked five packs a day. Bennett slams the door in her face and asks where the DVD went.

Eli Drake commandeers a camera and promises to give Tyrus a beating next week. As usual, this is one of the best things on the show.

Here’s Lashley for a chat. Lashley says it doesn’t matter if it’s wrestling or MMA because no one can hang with him. This brings out UFC fighter (currently facing a potential suspension for steroids) and professional wrestler Josh Barnett to give him a lecture about respecting the title. Lashley says this is his ring but has to escape an armbar. A challenge is issued but Barnett wants the title on the line. Bobby says he’ll fight anywhere anytime and the challenge is accepted for some point in the future. I get the idea they’re going for here but Barnett was really, really awkward on the mic.

Everyone has passed out at the bachelor party but Braxton is sitting there twirling his thumbs. He slowly gets up and puts the stripper on Mike’s lap for a quick picture. He then calls Maria and leaves the phone on the two of them before leaving.

Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards

Street fight with a full hour and a half of build. Angelina does Davey’s entrance, allowing him to jump Eddie from behind. There are weapons ready at ringside and Davey keeps beating him down as we take an early break. Back with Davey crushing Eddie’s hand with a chair but Edwards fights back anyway. Eddie and Angelina both have chairs but the distraction lets Davey swing a chair into Eddie’s for a knockdown.

Cue Eddie’s wife Alisha…who gets dropped with a single forearm. Angelina handcuffs her to the ropes but Eddie covers her up and takes the chair shots for her. Davey unloads on him with the chair while Angelina makes Alisha watch. There’s no referee as Eddie gets a Conchairto so Angelina counts the pin for a no contest at around 13:30.

Rating: B-. This was a good brawl while it lasted and I’m VERY glad they didn’t have a definitive winner. The ending was the important part and will keep this going for a long time as the women add another dynamic to the whole thing. I had a lot more fun with this than I was expecting and that’s the best possible outcome.

A promo for next week’s Expedition of Gold wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. That might be the oddest episode of Impact I’ve ever seen. There wasn’t a big focus on wrestling here but rather a lot of vignettes from the two parties, plus all the Mexico stuff. Outside of the main event, the wrestling we did see ranged from mostly boring to forgettable, but Davey vs. Eddie looks like it has serious potential.

Above all else, I appreciated the idea of TNA trying to do something. The wedding story could be good (assuming Sutter gets to win some matches later on) and Lashley FINALLY has some fresh blood, even if Barnett is hardly a household name and his promo was just a step above a disaster. They’re doing something though and that’s what matters more than anything after a long stretch of very dull and boring shows. This kept my attention, but I need more stuff actually between the bells rather than all the stuff setting up future matches and stories. Still though, it’s a step up.

Results

Brandi/Moose b. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary – Double Game Changers

Jesse Godderz b. Kingston – STO

Brooke b. Sienna – Rollup

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Impact Wrestling – January 26, 2017: Transfusion Please

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

Tonight is billed as Genesis, which is likely to be another show that doesn’t really add anything special but will be treated like something interesting while still being a normal show. We’ll throw in two title matches with Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards in an Iron Man match and Rosemary vs. Jade in a Monster’s Ball match. Let’s get to it.

Here are the Hardys with something to say. Matt, who sounds like he has a very sore throat, talks about Brother Nero (There was a video on YouTube where Matt freed Jeff from being Brother Nero. Are we not even following TNA’s own continuity here?) winning the #1 case last week. Jeff thinks he might win the World Title again but Matt has a big idea: going around the world and winning all the Tag Team Titles they can (as revealed to him in a pre-mo-nition as he and his family ate Senor Benjamin’s green beans by the Lake of Reincarnation).

Cue the DCC to imply they’ll be cashing in their Race for the Case match against the Hardys next week. Before any violence can take place, here’s Decay. Crazzy Steve suggests a triple threat for tonight and the DCC immediately agrees. Matt says that even though these are some rude blokes, the match is on.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. DCC vs. Decay

The Hardys are defending. Joined in progress with the DCC working over Steve as the announcers talk about Don West’s insane deals. The hot tag brings in Abyss and LET’S PLUG SCHITT’S CREEK! Jeff comes back in and drops Abyss but the DCC takes over on him in the corner. That means James Storm can distract Matt so a non-tag can take place. Everything breaks down and Kingston gives Matt an STO for two. Steve mists Kingston and it’s a Twist of Fate to retain the titles at 7:00.

Rating: D+. TNA puts James Storm in an interesting/cool looking gimmick and the solution is to put him in a team going after the Tag Team Titles because that’s all James Storm is allowed to do. That man left TNA for this nonsense? Anyway, this is turning into New Day vs. Gallows and Anderson/Cesaro and Sheamus: we know the champs can beat them and they’ve beaten these guys so often that it’s getting really boring. I know TNA is incapable of making new stars but is one fresh team that hard to pull off?

Laurel Van Ness makes Braxton Sutter take her to dinner. Apparently they’re at a restaurant, which looks so fake that I didn’t realize that’s where they were supposed to be until Laurel ordered a glass of wine.

Here’s Drew Galloway to talk about how much he wants the Grand Championship to be the top title around here. That means an open challenge.

Grand Championship: Drew Galloway vs. Moose

Drew is defending and Josh asks how ironic this is. Uh, a guy who got screwed out of a title last week answering an open challenge isn’t ironic you stupid man. Moose goes right at him to start and hits something like a powerbomb. A moonsault almost completely misses but is still good for two. Moose sends him outside and the fight is on with Moose easily getting the better of it. Galloway gets dropped on the barricade and Moose wins round one.

That’s enough to send the champ walking up the ramp but he comes back in to start round two. The middle rope chokebomb and the Game Changer get two each but Drew kicks him low again, meaning Galloway loses a point. The Claymore connects for two so Drew shoves the referee down and kicks Moose low again, setting up the Futureshock to retain at 6:46.

Rating: D. You know, this whole “YOU’RE LOSING A POINT” thing might mean something if more than one match in the history of this title actually went to a judges’ decision. This points system thing is a big waste of time and the title really could have been just a TV Title but that was like three names ago.

Laurel continues to be a blithering idiot and Sutter drinks a lot of wine to cope.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jade

Rosemary is defending but Jade dives at her to take over. Some kendo stick shots to the back have Jade in trouble but she blocks a suplex onto the thumbtacks. Instead, Jade whips her in the back with a belt before the German suplex puts Rosemary into the tacks. Jade gets smart by blocking the mist with a trashcan lid, which she kicks into the champ’s face for two. It’s time for the barbed wire board and a release STO makes Rosemary scream again. That means it’s time for a regular table but Jade takes too much time going up top, setting up a superplex to drive Jade through for the pin at 9:25.

Rating: B. Jade is a great example of someone with a lot of talent that TNA has given us no reason to care about. Tell me two things about her character other than she used to be in the Dollhouse. She’s entertaining in the ring and I’ve seen far worse performers but there’s just no connection to her, which is the case with most of the roster.

Gail Kim comes out to check on Jade and Rosemary mists her.

Laurel offers some post dinner shenanigans to Braxton but he goes to find the check. With Braxton gone, Laurel calls Maria to tell her it’s going great.

Caleb Konley is making his debut and got his start watching wrestling his entire life.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Caleb Konley

DJZ is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Josh’s brilliant insight: “DJZ would love to successfully defend his X-Division Championship.” Everyone brawls with everyone to start and then, in what might be the dumbest, most contrived spot I’ve ever see, we get a Human Centipede style elevated DDT with three people grabbing someone’s head back to back until DJZ grabs a running neckbreaker to drive everyone down.

That’s the kind of ridiculous stuff that makes it so clear that everyone is working together because there is NO WAY that could work otherwise. Everyone hits a bunch of dives and the Helms Dynasty starts working together, only to get in a fight over who gets to cover. The ZDT to Everett retains DJZ’s title at 4:21.

Rating: D. Words cannot describe how sick I am of this kind of match. It’s a big mess of a match with no story, no psychology, that STUPID multi-man DDT that I’m sure they thought was the coolest thing in the world (or better yet, someone might make a YouTube reaction video about it) and the same challengers we’ve seen over and over again, plus one new name who we heard about for all of five seconds.

The Helms Dynasty Pillmanizes DJZ’s leg.

Edwards asks Davey Richards to let him defend the title on his own. Davey agrees but doesn’t look happy.

Open Fight Night video.

The Hardys go over some possible matches for Jeff’s Race for the Chase match. He doesn’t care for the idea of winning the X-Division Title because it would only feed his addiction so DELETE. Rosemary and Ricky Morton are deleted as well but Matt has a pre-mo-nition showing him who Jeff will pick.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Lashley

Lashley is challenging in a thirty minute Iron Man match. Lashley starts fast with a delayed vertical suplex but Eddie avoids the spear and kicks him out to the floor. Back in and Lashley gets two off a slam and we take a break. Lashley is still in control when we come back and the spear gives him the first fall at 8:40.

The slow pace continues as Lashley hammers away, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb. A half crab doesn’t do much damage to Lashley so he throws Eddie over the top with a release belly to belly suplex. Lashley powerbombs him on the ramp for a countout at 14:25 to make it 2-0.

With the referee checking on Eddie, Lashley takes off a turnbuckle pad. For no apparent reason, Lashley keeps going to the ropes and knocking Eddie off the apron as this just keeps going. Back from a second break with Lashley missing a spear and going into the exposed buckle, allowing Eddie to grab a rollup for a fall at 22:20.

They head to the ramp again with Lashley loading up a release German suplex, only to have Edwards flip out onto his feet. There’s the Boston Knee Party but Eddie has to very slowly crawl back to the ring. Lashley dives in at nine to beat the count but it’s another Boston Knee Party to tie things up at 24:03. A few seconds later JB says we have five minutes left as they’re actually closer than I was expecting.

Lashley gets two off another spear, which of course is followed by a third Boston Knee Party for two more. Eddie’s middle rope hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb and Lashley grabs a side choke to make Eddie tap at 26:40 to go up 3-2 with just over three minutes to go. Lashley goes outside to yell at Pope and says he’s already won. That means another suicide dive to take Lashley out and Eddie grabs a guillotine with 51 seconds left. Of course time runs out (at 29:33) to give Lashley the title back.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was fine enough but this DID NOT need to be a thirty minute match in any way, shape or form. There was way too much laying around and so much of that is due to there being no reason for these two to still be fighting. TNA is desperately needing some fresh blood in their main event scene, which has what, four people at most right now? Seriously: Edwards, Lashley, Carter and……I guess Hardy? Assuming he goes for the World Title again? Give us something fresh already.

Overall Rating: D. This is the worst kind of show you can have: not absolutely horrible but so painfully uninteresting that I lost any semblance of caring about halfway through. These matches all just felt like they were going by with no interest or caring, which has long plagued this company. What are we looking at going forward? Gail Kim, Jeff Hardy and Trevor Lee as the challengers to titles? A heel midcard champion who keeps cheating to retain the title? It feels like we’ve been here for years now and that’s not enough to make me care enough. Really dull show here and that’s not a good sign whatsoever.

Results

Hardys b. DCC and Decay – Twist of Fate to Kingston

Drew Galloway b. Moose – Futureshock

Rosemary b. Jade – Superplex through a table

DJZ b. Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett, Marshe Rockett and Caleb Konley – ZDT to Everett

Lashley b. Eddie Edwards three falls to two

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – January 19, 2017: Here We Go Again

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 19, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

The more things change, the more they stay the same. In the staying the same category, Lashley is yet again the #1 contender to Eddie Edwards’ World Title as those two have been feuding for months now. In the changing category, Feast or Fired has been changed into Race for the Chase, which has some unique rules but is still a four briefcase ladder match. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Lashley becoming #1 contender again last week.

Race for the Case

Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Mahabali Shera, Crazzy Steve, Trevor Lee, Eli Drake, Jesse Godderz, Kingston, Bram, Mike Bennett, Tyrus

The idea here is there are four cases with numbers inside. Starting with #1, the four winners can pick whatever match they want, though matches can’t be repeated (meaning all four can’t pick to fight for the World Title or to have a cage match). Jeff is still listed as Brother Nero, despite Matt freeing him from that name a few weeks ago.

Of course it’s a wild brawl to start with everyone going for a case instead of just waiting around for someone else to be busy. Tyrus comes in and starts throwing suplexes, allowing Drake to pull down the red briefcase. Pope doesn’t understand the rules as everyone keeps brawling on the floor.

Lee stomps Bennett in the chest and runs up to grab the blue briefcase. Lee dives off the top onto everyone else and escapes with his case, leaving Bennett to pull Steve down. We take a break and come back with Steve being thrown to the floor as Josh gets to say “playing defense” for the tenth time in the match. Bennett superkicks Matt but everyone keeps cutting everyone else off.

Steve starts cleaning house but Matt has a pre-mo-neetion telling him to get the green case. That sends everyone after it though, leaving Godderz to go for the gold case, which falls right into the hands of the DCC. Well Kingston that is but the DCC is credited with securing it. Matt takes Bennett out and Jeff gets the green case to end the match at 13:03.

Rating: D+. I never know how to grade something like this as it’s just chaos with the real entertainment coming later on when we get to the reveal. I mean, it’s basically still Feast or Fired with Josh talking about how various people can challenge for various title shots which just happen to line up with the division they would usually compete in. Eh at least it felt a bit fresh though and that’s a good thing.

Here’s a clip of Drew Galloway debuting for the sake of setting up his Grand Championship shot later tonight. Uh, maybe we should show him in the Grand Championship Tournament instead of something from years ago?

We see Moose’s debut as well, which gets the same question.

Drew Galloway wants the Grand Championship instead of the World Title.

Lashley has a proposition for Edwards.

Another video on Lashley vs. Carter from last week.

Lashley comes to the ring and says there’s nothing stopping him from facing Eddie Edwards for the World Title. That means a challenge to Eddie, who comes out and says he’d love to face Lashley anywhere anytime. Eddie wants to know the grand plan so Lashley rips on him for winning the title and defending it via flukes. Lashley’s big idea is a thirty minute Iron Man match and the champ says it’s on. The brawl starts and Davey Richards comes out for the save.

Maria calls Braxton Sutter and tells him to see her when he gets to the arena. Brooke comes in and tells Maria to stay out of her business.

Brooke vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Madison Rayne is on commentary again with that annoying voice. Purrazzo has been everywhere as of late, appearing on NXT, Smackdown and Ring of Honor in recent weeks and months. Rayne talks about these two fighting three years ago on a One Night Only show so I guess this is a rematch? Does that qualify as major in TNA? We hear about Brooke’s reality show as she takes Purrazzo down and puts on a Muta Lock minus the leg tie. Deonna knees her in the face and shouts a lot, earning herself a flapjack into a not great nipup. The Tesshocker ends Purrazzo at 4:39.

Rating: D. Was anyone missing Brooke? I mean, it’s not like the division doesn’t need the extra help but the bad theme song (making her the female Billy Gunn) feels way out of place with how far women’s wrestling has come in recent years. Brooke isn’t a bad thing to have back but the whole division is such a wreck that she might help a lot.

Post match Sienna lays Brooke out.

Tyrus tells us to stay tuned for the briefcase reveal.

Sutter comes up to see Maria and they talk about Allie, who still works for Maria. She wants Braxton to quit training Allie and whispers something in his ear, which seems to get to him. Now he agrees to quit training her and Maria sends him off to find Laurel. My goodness GET TO THE END OF THIS STORY ALREADY.

It’s time for Fact of Life with Tyrus doing a long intro for Eli (“He loves his mother and is a stand up Republican.”) before explaining the rules for Race for the Chase. Drake goes first and has case #4, which is last place. After taking time to decide who speaks for the DCC (which no one winds up doing), they get case #2.

Lee is impressed with the quality of the desk and we get some comedy until Tyrus offers Lee a trade: one briefcase for another, plus a shirt. Lee wants some of Tyrus’ clothes so the deal is off. Trevor can’t open the briefcase so Tyrus does it for him, revealing case #3, meaning Jeff gets #1. Jeff doesn’t know who he’s fighting but they’ll fade away and classify themselves as obsolete.

We look at Galloway winning the World Title, which again has NOTHING to do with what he’s doing tonight.

Moose beat Mike Bennett at Bound For Glory.

Braxton breaks up with Allie and ends their training.

Here are Rockstar Spud and Aron Rex with Rex coming out to the Hallelujah chorus which is in no way shape or form copying his WWE character. Robbie E. comes out before Rex, now in flesh colored trunks and lipstick, can say anything. It’s time for a tag match.

Robbie E./Swoggle vs. Aron Rex/Rockstar Spud

Swoggle and Spud get things started with Josh talking about Schitt’s Creek which is ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS. Spud sends Swoggle into the corner and it’s off to Rex for some chatting. Swoggle grabs his foot so Rex screams that he’s being touched and tags Rex back in. A GTS drops Spud and it’s off to Robbie so things can speed up. Everything breaks down and Swoggle does a Stinkface because this is your comedy of the match. Spud hits Swoggle with the loaded ring and Rex gets the pin at 4:16.

Rating: D-. See, Rex is effeminate and therefore funny. Ignore the fact that it’s not funny of course because this is what passes for comedy around here. Somehow this is an improvement over Rex’s previous character (Did he have a character?) though, which continues to prove the point that Rex isn’t that interesting and needed a character like the one he complained about having in WWE.

We look at Galloway’s heel turn.

We FINALLY get to something Grand Championship related with Moose winning the title from Rex.

Video on Rosemary vs. Jade in the cage to set up next week’s Monster’s Ball match.

Sutter has to escort Laurel out and open the door for her.

Video on the Grand Championship tournament.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Drew Galloway

Moose is defending and Drew gets a jobber’s entrance. But we had time to look at Drew’s debut against the Beat Down Clan? Drew clotheslines him down to start so Moose nips up. A chop off goes nowhere so Drew grabs a piledriver for two. Another slugout wraps up the first round, which goes to Drew.

Round two starts after a break with both guys hitting big boots and Drew scoring with something like a Death Valley Driver onto the apron. Moose powerbombs him onto the apron as well but misses a middle rope moonsault. Galloway grabs the Iron Maiden but Moose hangs on for about forty five seconds to end the round.

That round actually goes to Moose for reasons of pure drama as the announcers bury the judges. It says a lot when I completely agree with Josh and Pope but it’s true here. They trade failed finishers and kick each other in the face to no avail. Drew gets dropkicked out of the air but he kicks Moose low, which isn’t a DQ but rather a point deduction. So these matches are No DQ? Shouldn’t that have been mentioned at some point? Not that it matters as Drew hits the Claymore as soon as the referee restarts the match for the pin and the title at 14:08.

Rating: C-. I’ve seen worse endings but they couldn’t have Moose kick out of the first kick and then lose? If nothing else this just shows how overcomplicated the rules are as they really could get by with just a basic TV Title with a ten minute time limit but that’s not revolutionary enough or something. Drew is a good choice for champion and there’s nothing wrong with putting the title on him here when he was too banged up to get it in the first place.

Drew mocks the judges to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This really was a change of pace but unfortunately the show went from bad to really just boring. As is so often the case, TNA doesn’t understand how to wrap up a story and so many of them (Lashley vs. Edwards, Maria vs. Allie, the Hardys, though less so in their case) just keep going far beyond the point of interest. The wrestling was few and far between tonight and the first match is barely wrestling in the first place. It’s certainly not the worst show in the world but, again, this doesn’t give me hope for the new direction TNA is going in.

Results

Eli Drake, Trevor Lee, DCC and Jeff Hardy won Race for the Case

Brooke b. Deonna Purrazzo – Tesshocker

Aron Rex/Rockstar Spud b. Robbie E./Swoggle – Ring to the head

Drew Galloway b. Moose – Claymore

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling – January 5, 2017: No More Happy New Year

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

This might actually be an interesting show as TNA is under new ownership with Dixie Carter all but completely out of power. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a full show of new content actually in the Impact Zone as we saw two weeks of Hardy related material plus a very rushed Best of 2016 show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title situation with Ethan Carter III and Eddie Edwards going to a double pin and Edwards vs. Lashley going into the North Carolina woods at Total Nonstop Deletion.

Here’s Eddie to wish us a happy new year and to say he’ll fight anyone anytime. This brings out Lashley to say he’ll be giving out beatings this year, starting with Eddie. Lashley wants a title shot tonight but here’s Ethan Carter III, who makes sure to point out the Anthem logo. Carter was watching these two fight in Matt Hardy’s backyard and thinking about getting his title back. Lashley calls them both cheerleaders and isn’t cool with Carter wanting a rematch tonight too. The champ suggests a triple threat match and promises a special surprise for later. As long as it’s not the Wolves reuniting, I’m good.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Mike Bennett

Moose is defending. The announcers try to act like this was a great friendship before just giving up on the idea. Bennett kicks him down and grabs a chinlock before hammering away to gain favor with the judges. That sounds like it belongs in some lame adventure game. Another hard chinlock ends the first round, which Bennett easily wins. Moose fights back to start the second round and hits a middle rope moonsault for an early two.

Back up and Moose dives into a cutter for two. We hit another chinlock until Moose takes his head off with the Game Changer as the round ends. After a break, Moose wins round two and grabs the chokebomb for two. He misses a top rope moonsault though and Bennett grabs a piledriver for two. They very slowly slug it out with Moose hitting him in the face but getting kicked in the chest. Another slugout is enough for them to take it to the bell at 16:49 (counting breaks). Moose wins via split decision.

Rating: C+. This was one of the best Grand Championship style matches I’ve seen so far but again, this could have been the exact same thing if they just had a regular time limit without the whole rounds system. It feels like an unnecessary detail and that’s not a good thing. At least the match was good and Mike and Maria seem to be around for now.

Swoggle is in the back when he runs into the Hardys. Matt asks if he was sent here by Mc-Mehon to infiltrate the event. Apparently he was and Matt laughs.

Rockstar Spud vs. Swoggle

Spud wants to start this year with a win because the winning streak starts now. Swoggle starts fast with a spear, a German suplex and the Celtic Cross for a completely clean pin at 1:09.

Post match Spud quits.

Bennett goes up to Moose again and demands a rematch on the pay per view in a match where anything goes. Moose agrees.

Eli Drake holds up signs that say he gets to talk next.

It’s time for Fact of Life with the once again verbal Eli Drake. He’ll never be done with Ethan Carter III but tonight his guests are the Broken Hardys. Reby plays them to the ring on the piano and Eli says get the camera back on him. He wants to know where his invite was to Tag Team Apocalypto but Matt says maybe Eli was scared like the Day of New or the Bucks of Youth. Drake: “I don’t know what you just said.”

I think they start quoting song lyrics to each other until Eli hits the button over and over. Matt says something about magic and blasphemy so Eli throws out a challenge for tomorrow’s pay per view. We get the dueling DELETE/YEAH chants until Jeff calls it very confusing and hits Drake in the head.

Eddie is about to talk about his surprise when Lashley comes up with a threat.

Video on Total Nonstop Deletion.

Helms Dynasty vs. Decay

Gregory Shane Helms is no longer the Hurricane for no apparent reason. In a quick pre-match interview, Shane says he doesn’t remember being the Hurricane but he’s back now. Sure why not. Decay takes over to start but the Dynasty realizes they can have some more luck against Steve, who is beaten down in the corner. Lee cleans some house but a tag brings in Abyss to wreck the smaller guys. Helms tries to chokeslam Abyss and gets mist from Rosemary for his efforts. A chokeslam off the top ends Everett at 3:23.

Rating: D+. Another nothing match because there’s no reason to think either of these teams can beat the Hardys. That’s what happens when you put everyone together in one match and have the Hardys go over. But then again I shouldn’t be complaining because we got that WICKED BURNING HHH JAB and that’s what matters.

Post match the DCC jumps Decay from behind.

Maria has something special planned for Allie.

Here are Maria, Sienna and Laurel Van Ness with something to say. Maria talks about being here a year ago and looking forward to another year. First things first though: Allie needs to get down here. Allie comes out and Maria screeches a lot, saying Allie’s plan has two problems. There’s going to be a match right now so Allie gets in her face and says bring it on.

Allie vs. Sienna

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Allie goes right after her but gets taken down by Sienna instead. A one foot cover gets two and a sideslam gives Sienna the same. Sienna keeps getting distracted by Braxton Sutter on the floor but is still able to spit at Allie. That fires Allie up even more and she slams Sienna, only to have Laurel hug Braxton for a distraction. Allie is upset and the Silencer puts her away at 5:05.

Rating: D. Aside from this story going and going, Madison is really getting on my nerves. She adds nothing, she isn’t interesting, she isn’t funny and she’s just there, talking about things that anyone could figure out by watching the match. I’m really not a fan of adding things in for the sake of adding things in and that’s what Madison is right now.

We hear about tomorrow’s pay per view. No I won’t be watching it.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is defending and helps Carter beat on Lashley, who suplexes both of them down without much effort. A trip to the floor doesn’t do much and it’s a double clothesline to put Lashley on the floor again as we take a break. Back with Lashley on the floor as the other two fight over a standing switch. Lashley comes back in and German suplexes both of them at the same time before exposing a turnbuckle.

That goes nowhere (yet) and it’s a double suplex to Lashley instead. Eddie takes over with chops all around and a Blue Thunder Bomb gets two on Carter. Something like a Tower of Doom puts all three down and it’s Carter up first with a clothesline to Lashley. The TK3 gets two on Lashley but he throws Carter to the floor. It’s time to grab the title but here’s the returning Davey Richards to take it away. The Boston Knee Party retains Eddie’s title at 19:52.

Rating: B. Another year, another long TNA Title match that was only long for the sake of being long. I still have no reason to care about any of these people and it feels like almost nothing is going to change if any of them becomes champion. It also feels like these same three have been around the title FOREVER and I’m not sure if it would be worse to have Richards vs. Edwards or more of these three.

Overall Rating: C-. The main event helped this one but it’s still the exact same TNA that it’s been for a long time: too much filler (this show was an extra ten minutes long for the sole purpose of being an extra ten minutes long), not enough interesting wrestling, almost no interesting characters and more of the same stuff over and over again. I didn’t see anything that would make me think this is a fresh start other than ANTHEM being mentioned all the time. It’s not a horrible show but it’s really uninteresting, which isn’t a good sign after all the hype of the ownership issues.

Results

Moose b. Mike Bennett via split decision

Swoggle b. Rockstar Spud – Celtic Cross

Decay b. Helms Dynasty – Chokeslam to Everett

Sienna b. Allie – Silencer

Eddie Edwards b. Lashley and Ethan Carter III – Boston Knee Party to Lashley

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Impact Wrestling – December 8, 2016: The Last Normal One

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 8, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s the last regular show of the year as next week will be Total Nonstop Deletion because it’s a good idea to give the Hardys their own show. The big story this week is the World Title on the line as Eddie Edwards defends against Ethan Carter III. You can almost guarantee a screwy finish of some kind as TNA loves leaving us hanging. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the World Title match with both guys seeming to have a lot of respect for each other.

Here’s new Grand Champion Moose for an opening chat. We get the YOU DESERVE IT chant, which is really starting to lose meaning. The guy has been around less than six months and has only been wrestling on the big stage for less than two years. Anyway, Moose promises to be a fighting champion but here’s Drew Galloway to interrupt.

Drew says the title was built for him and now he could have a match of the year against someone like Moose. The fight is about to begin but here’s Aron Rex (now clean shaven) to interrupt. Rex says three seconds isn’t enough time for a match and threatens to sue the fans for, and I feel stupid for saying this, Rexual Harassment. He’ll have his rematch right now.

Grand Championship: Moose vs. Aron Rex

Rex is challenging and wastes no time with the loaded up punch, which knocks Moose out on the floor. Back in and Rex can only get two so we hit the chinlock. Moose makes a quick comeback to end the round but Rex still takes the first. Rex uses his evil towel to blind Moose to start the second and it’s ANOTHER chinlock. The Wind-Up Elbow gets two on the champ and more elbows give Rex the second round. Round three begins with Rex hammering away again, only to get dropkicked off the top. The Game Changer retains the title at 7:36 total.

Rating: D+. I really cannot stand this gimmick. It’s TNA trying to be creative and while it’s something new, that doesn’t mean it’s interesting. The problem here is you could take away the rounds and the match would be exactly the same. Just have Rex cheat to win any regular title and it’s the same thing. That’s a major problem but TNA just keeps running with this thing.

Eddie says he’s ready.

Galloway rants about TNA not holding the tournament for him.

Aiden O’Shea vs. Mandrews

O’Shea goes for a slam but the much smaller Mandrews falls on him to take over. Aiden’s big forearm hits the apron by mistake and now he’s ticked off. The shirt comes off and the slow beating begins, only to have Mandrews send him outside. That means a big flip dive as I’m wondering why I’m supposed to boo this guy. A springboard seated senton sets up a shooting star press to end O’Shea at 5:48.

Rating: C-. So……he’s one of the least interesting wrestlers in the division, he’s turned heel, and now he wins a match that by definition is about making someone look like a face? Normally I would attribute this to a weird taping situation where Mandrews’ turn was taped after this but, since it’s TNA, it’s just weird booking as this took place after the turn.

Mahabali Shera/Al Snow vs. Tribunal

Indian strap match, meaning they’re bound at the wrists by straps and you win by touching all six corners. They brawl on the floor to start until the wrists are strapped, meaning the Tribunal can start choking. Snow’s comeback is cut off but it’s too early to touch the buckles. Low blows and straps to the back have the Tribunal down and a double low bridging allows Snow and Shera to win at 5:19.

Rating: D-. Whatever man. I’ve been sick of this feud since the second it began and this isn’t getting any better. Hopefully this blows it off and we can go on to anything else because I have no idea why it would keep going. No one involved is interesting and no one involved is being elevated but it keeps going anyway. Such is life in TNA.

We see Matt Hardy asleep with the Seven Deities telling him about something called Apocalypto.

Ethan is ready for the title match and makes fun of Eli Drake for not being able to talk.

Here are the Hardys to talk about Tag Team Apocalypto next week. Matt says the match will be so big that Mc-Mahon or Hayman couldn’t promote it. There will be regular stars of the Impact Wrestling roster and even King Maxill will make his debut. The Tag Team Titles will be on the line in an open challenge to any tag team in the history of space and time.

Cue Shane Helms (He still works here?) to say he’ll be there. Matt can’t wait to see 3 Count or the superheroes back in action. Helms is actually bringing the Helms Dynasty and promises to be there. Cue Decay to say they’ll top the Great War when they appear as well. Helms takes a Twist of Fate.

After a break, DCC says they’ll be in North Carolina next week too.

Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Madison Rayne is on commentary. Before the match, Maria laughs at Allie for pretending to be a wrestler. Allie says she’s been training with Braxton Sutter, which freaks Laurel out. Sutter comes out to watch from ringside as Laurel starts beating Allie up. Allie gets in a suplex as Sutter and Mike Bennett fight to the back. With the men gone, Laurel misses a charge in the corner and a reverse DDT puts her away at 5:11.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing but the story was all it needed to be. Allie is one of the most over people on the roster and seeing her beat up Maria and company is the best idea possible. It’s also very helpful that she’s a trained wrestler so we don’t have to sit through months of her learning how to do things. Sutter vs. Bennett could be good too.

Maria tries to get in and is shoved right back down.

Video on Carter vs. Edwards.

Allie is all happy and kisses Sutter in celebration.

Total Nonstop Deletion ad.

TNA World Title: Ethan Carter III vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie is defending and they trade armbars to start. A running knee lift cuts Eddie off and sends him to the floor as they’re definitely taking their time here. Ethan gets two off a knee drop and we take a break. Back with Carter getting two off a suplex and we’re off to a chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Eddie hits a top rope hurricanrana to very little reaction from the audience. They chop it out until Ethan is knocked outside for the suicide dive. Eddie’s rollup is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two but the TK3 doesn’t work. Back up and the champ gets crotched on the ropes for the superplex into a small package near fall.

Carter speeds things up until the Boston Knee Party sends him outside. The TK3 connects on the floor but Carter still can’t put him away. The Backpack Stunner is countered into Ethan’s rear naked choke, only to have Eddie roll onto his back. It’s a double finish as Eddie taps at the same time as the three count at 20:35.

Rating: B. The match was good but, as usual, it felt like they were just doing moves until we got to the ending. The near falls helped a lot and I buy them as equals but the ending felt a bit forced. It’s a good main event but really not enough to save the show, which wasn’t the best leading up to this.

The match is ruled a no contest so Eddie retains. Replays show that Carter’s shoulder was up at two anyway but it’s not acknowledged. I’m guessing Carter goes heel after this.

Overall Rating: C-. That main event helped a lot but there’s almost no way to save this show. Maybe they were just spent at the end of the marathon tapings or maybe TNA just isn’t capable of putting on quality TV (there’s a shocker) but so much of this show feels like a waste of time.

I can’t count how many things on here just exist with no emotional connection. When you have a gimmick match that doesn’t work, a pretty worthless big vs. little match, that stupid, stupid Snow/Shera match and a mostly bad women’s match, a good main event just isn’t enough. The show isn’t the worst in the world and is watchable at times but it’s not interesting and that’s a much bigger problem.

Results

Moose b. Aron Rex – Game Changer

Mandrews b. Aiden O’Shea – Shooting star press

Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal – Snow and Shera touched all six buckles

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Reverse DDT

Eddie Edwards vs. Ethan Carter III went to a no contest with a double finish

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Impact Wrestling – December 1, 2016: Old People Rule

Impact Wrestling
Date: December 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

We’re down to two regular shows left in the year and the big story tonight is the crowning of a new Knockouts Champion as Gail Kim has vacated the belt due to injury. That leaves Jade and Rosemary inside Six Sides of Steel for the title because it’s not like they have any better options at the moment. Let’s get to it.

We open with a DCC video as they’re focusing on the Hardys. Matt is back to help his brother tonight thanks to a well placed bolt of lightning.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Moose

Rex is defending in an open challenge. Rex: “NO! HIT GRADO’S MUSIC!” We have to wait a minute though as Rex wants to do his warmups. That’s followed by a trip to the floor for a cartwheel from the champ. Back in and Rex rakes the eyes to set up the ring punch, only to walk into the Game Changer to give Moose the title at 1:45.

Moose says he’ll defend against anyone. Rex on the other hand has nothing to say but seems to be crying.

Jeff Hardy arrives and doesn’t know which Matt we’ll be seeing tonight. They’ll have a plan in the title match though.

Here’s the DCC to say they don’t want to delete anyone but they want to erase things. Cue Jeff to say the DCC has no idea what they’re getting themselves into. The beatdown is quickly on and….the DCC video comes on again. The lights go out and Matt returns for the save. Deletion is guaranteed.

Go For Broke is ready to fight each other for the X-Division Title. It’s a challenge for DJZ because his friends know him better than anyone else.

X-Division Title: Braxton Sutter vs. Mandrews vs. DJZ

DJZ is defending and this is one fall to a finish after Go For Broke won last week’s three way tag. They trade rollups to start in that three way style where it’s clear that this has all been choreographed in the first place. Mandrews suplexes the champ down and gets two off a standing moonsault. Another moonsault off the steps takes down Sutter and DJZ but it’s time for the “fun” part with the skateboard.

DJZ elbows him in the face but tweaks his knee back inside. That goes nowhere as DJZ high crossbodies both challengers, only to have Sutter snap off a Flatliner. Mandrews uses a twisting Stunner to get out of a suplex but as soon as he hits the shooting star, DJZ pops back up with a rollup to retain at 5:58.

Rating: C. Another meaningless X-Division match with the whole “we just know each other so well” idea going nowhere. The lack of story continues to destroy this division, but some of that has to do with Mandrews being really uninteresting. Yeah he can do shooting stars and moonsaults. That’s nowhere near enough to make him a complete character but you take what you can get around here.

They pose together but Mandrews goes heel by kicking DJZ’s bad knee out. Mandrews is the least interesting of the three but this is in fact better than nothing.

Laurel Van Ness says that she can make Braxton feel better but Allie wonders why she never sees Laurel and Braxton together.

Here are Maria and Laurel to vent some frustration. Maria gets right to the point by calling Allie out and demanding an apology. Allie is sorry she hit Maria with a pumpkin pie but Maria wants to talk about Allie costing her the title at Bound For Glory. It’s because Allie believes in honesty so Laurel goes on about what she did with Braxton last night. Maria calls Allie stupid and gets slapped in the face, making this the third time Allie has stood up to her. Laurel beats Allie down and AGAIN we haven’t really done anything new in this story.

Rosemary is ready for the cage match.

Tag Team Titles: DCC vs. Hardys

Bram and Kingston are challenging and the champs take over early on with a pair of double suplexes. Things settle down with Bram getting beaten up in the corner, followed by a chinlock from Jeff. You don’t often see that from a face but TNA has never been your normal promotion. Double Poetry in Motion gets two on Bram and we take a break. Back with the DCC working over Matt in the corner until Bram charges into a boot.

The hot tag brings in Jeff but Storm hits him with a belt, meaning the heel beatdown starts up again. Kingston grabs a chinlock and runs Jeff over with a shoulder as this just keeps going. Bram spins out of the Twist of Fate and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The real hot tag brings Matt back in and it’s time to bite Kingston’s arm and hand. Bram breaks up the Twist of Fate so Kingston takes it instead, allowing Matt to retain the titles at 15:54.

Rating: C+. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the Hardys are great when they’re out in their own universe but they’re just boring in the ring. Both guys look old and tired in their matches but at least they’re trying. The bigger story here though is the DCC losing already, which makes me think that it’s yet another stable that isn’t going to live up to its potential because TNA would rather push Matt and Jeff even more.

We recap Gail Kim being attacked, forcing her to vacate the title. If she wasn’t hurt during the Bound For Glory match, I really don’t know of a reason why she needed to get the title at the pay per view.

Ethan Carter III mocks Eli Drake for not being able to talk. When Ethan gets the title back next week, all Eli has to do is say the word and he can have a shot.

Al Snow gives a really intense speech about giving the Tribunal what they have coming to them. This is one of the best things on the show but again, WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT AL SNOW???

Ethan Carter III comes to the ring and has some words for World Champion Eddie Edwards. This brings out the champ to see him face to face with Ethan talking about how much that title changes people. Carter has failed to capture the title twice this year but he won’t fail a third time. Eddie knows the kind of man Carter is but Ethan says that when a title is involved, his mindset is kill em all and let God sort it out. Well that intensified quickly.

Knockouts Title: Rosemary vs. Jade

Inside Six Sides of Steel with the title vacant coming in and Madison Rayne on commentary. Oh and Gail Kim is outside because we just need her presence. You can only win by pinfall or submission so Rosemary knocks Jade to the floor right after the bell. Rosemary throws a trashcan inside but gets knocked down as we take a break.

Back with Rosemary sending Jade into the cage and yelling at Gail for selecting Jade as the future of the division. Jade is thrown into the cage wall again but comes back with a top rope hurricanrana for her first real offense. A powerbomb gets two on Rosemary but let’s stop for a second so Madison can praise Gail some more. Rosemary is thrown off the top rope so Jade climbs to the top of the cage (Madison: “SHADES OF GAIL KIM! 2006!”) for a high crossbody. It’s only good for a delayed two but the yellow mist blinds Jade. An F5 makes Rosemary champion at 14:42.

Rating: C-. Yeah I know we have a new champion. That’s great and all, but can we get a little more about Gail Kim? I mean, how does she feel about this? Did you know she’s the first Knockout in the Hall of Fame? Or that Rosemary basically beat her because Gail picked Jade as the next face of the division? Rosemary winning is the best option as someone else can rise up to beat her but you’re almost crazy if you don’t think Gail is a top contender for that honor.

Rosemary laughs at Gail to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was better this week but the focus on the older talent is getting old. Gail Kim was the focus of the main event, Al Snow got a big promo and the Hardys are about to get their own special. The World Title match next week got a little focus but the rest of the card just doesn’t do much for me right now. At least the wrestling was better though and that’s a positive step for TNA.

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Impact Wrestling – November 10, 2016: Looking at you Through the Glass

Impact Wrestling
Date: November 10, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

It’s another big night here in TNA as the World Title is on the line again. This time it’s Eli Drake challenging as he cashes in his Bound for Gold title shot for a chance at Eddie Edwards’ World Title. Other than that we’ll likely get an update on Broken Matt Hardy, who might have amnesia. Let’s get to it.

We look back at last week’s main event.

Josh previews the show, which will feature the start of some competition to crown a new #1 contender.

Here’s Eddie to open the show. Over his career, he’s had a lot of support but there’s also been a lot of negativity. He’s developed a never say die attitude and is ready for anything, but here’s Drake to interrupt. Drake is Bound For Gold and is ready to lighten Eddie’s load a bit. This brings out Ethan Carter III to say he’ll be #1 contender no matter what. He can see it in Eli’s eyes: Drake isn’t ready to be champion. Now it’s Mike Bennett and Maria coming out to laugh at Ethan for betting on Eddie, just like when he bet and lost his streak. The fight is on but here’s Moose to join in as we take a break.

Mike Bennett vs. Moose

This is the first in a series of qualifying matches for a #1 contenders match. Moose throws him around to start so Maria pulls her husband to the floor, earning an ejection, followed by a lot of screaming. Back in and a chop block slows Moose down and we slow down into a standard “keep the power guy on the mat” match. Moose makes his comeback with headbutts to the arm but can’t do his running charge into the corner.

Instead it’s a Pop Up Powerbomb and a backsplash (becoming WAY too common a move in wrestling) for two, only to have Bennett kick out the leg again. A piledriver gets two because piledrivers are only devastating sometimes. The Game Changer is broken up with even more superkicks but Bennett no sells a pump kick, setting up a cutter for two. They head outside with Moose going head first into the steps, drawing a countout to give Bennett the win at 8:32.

Rating: D+. Standard Bennett match here, meaning nothing all that interesting. I’m glad they didn’t have Moose lose clean here and Bennett is more interesting going forward towards the title, especially if Lashley is involved in this competition. You don’t need two big power guys in the same match so Bennett going forward makes more sense.

Al Snow is here for a surprise from the Tribunal.

We go to the Hardy Compound where Jeff shows up to check on his brother. Apparently Matt has been acting differently since his injury, including wearing sweaters and showing an interest in home improvement. That means building a dining room, but he doesn’t recognize Jeff at the moment. Jeff tries to impersonate Broken Matt, who doesn’t even remember that they’re wrestlers. He’s an engineer now but Reby has an idea.

Here’s the Tribunal for a statement. They quickly bring Snow out and get right to the point: they don’t need him and never did. The beatdown is on and it’s Mahabali Shera for the save. The Tribunal easily beats up the dancer and stand tall.

Jesse Godderz wants to get his hands on Aron Rex and it’s not about the title.

Abyss vs. Ethan Carter III

Qualifying match. Carter misses an early charge but has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Abyss takes it outside and chokeslams Ethan onto the apron (which the announcers don’t point out as the hardest part of the ring). Back in and a hard shot to the face drops Carter again before a comeback is cut off by a chokeslam for two. A chair doesn’t work and Ethan grabs a sleeper for a tap out (Huh?) at 6:36.

Rating: D. A sleeper for a submission? I guess it was supposed to be a rear naked choke but when the announcers call it a sleeper, that’s what I’m going with. Maybe Carter couldn’t get him in the 1%er or something but that’s quite the weird ending. At least we had a fresh match for a change and that’s a good thing.

Eli is ready to take the title.

Back to the Hardy Compound where Reby plays the theme song while Matt eats lobster. A family sing-a-long breaks out but Matt has no idea what to do. To be fair they ask him to remember Jeff’s line. Jeff offers to take him on a ride on the dirtbike. Jeff: “ISN’T THAT EXCITING???” Matt: “No.”

JB is in the ring to bring out Gail Kim, who has an announcement. Gail comes out and says Borash is like family to him. Interesting but not much of an announcement. She asks Jade to come out here and calls Jade the future of the division. Gail sounds like she’s about to retire when Rosemary and Decay cut her off. It’s mist for Gail and Jade gets dropped, leaving Rosemary to choke Gail out. Rosemary isn’t done as she goes coast to coast to drive a garbage can into Jade’s face.

Trevor Lee vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ

Thankfully it’s not a title match but rather another qualifying match. It’s a chase to start with Lee kicking DJZ in the chest but Spud can’t get a cover. Back in Lee throws DJZ around again but gets knocked outside, leaving Spud to take out DJZ’s leg. A springboard legdrop gets two but Lee muscles Spud up and sends him flying with a release German suplex. Spud comes back in for a low blow on DJZ but gets kneed in the face. The fishmerman’s buster gives Lee the pin on Spud at 4:22.

Rating: C-. This was every X-Division match you’ve seen in the last few years and there was no mention of the champion losing or of Lee earning a potential future title shot after winning a match involving the champ. At least DJZ didn’t lose though and he still has that stupid flag to carry around in Team X Gold which doesn’t actually involve gold.

Aiden O’Shea puts Grado and Robbie E. together as a team against Lashley. The happiness quickly ends.

Brandi Rhodes tries to give Allie a pep talk to no avail.

Lashley vs. Grado/Robbie E.

Qualifying match and the team doesn’t get an entrance. Tags are required here as Josh tries to say the team should be favored. Robbie is driven into the corner to start before it’s off to Grado for a top rope ax handle. Robbie’s middle rope clothesline actually puts Lashley down and Grado does his dancing punches. A double suplex just seems to tick Lashley off and it’s time to get serious. Grado’s spine is busted and the spear ends Robbie at 2:56.

We look back at Rex defending the title last week and knocking Godderz out with one punch.

Rex arrives while polishing the belt. Jesse is waiting on him (Rex: “Someone had too much Creatine.”) and we go to a break. Back with Rex saying he’s not interested in this and getting beaten up anyway. The beating continues until Rex gets back into the car and leaves.

Back to the Hardy Compound where Matt is terrified to be on the bike. They go to the lake where Matt is very confused about the idea of talking to a boat. Matt on what’s going on in his head: “It’s just so hard to describe!” Cue the Scribe to confuse Matt even more. Jeff suggests getting in the water but Matt says it’s freezing. Matt won’t do it so Jeff says he’ll go fight by himself. As his brother leaves, Matt suggests counseling.

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Eli Drake

Drake is challenging and we get Big Match Intros. Feeling out process to start until Drake takes over with a hard clothesline. The champ gets beaten down a few more times and a powerslam gets two. Eddie’s comeback sees him throw Drake over the top but a little skinning the cat….doesn’t work as Drake is clotheslined out to the floor.

The suicide dive is overshot as Eddie crashes into the crowd and Drake comes up holding his arm. Back in and a quick Blunt Force Trauma gets two, followed by a quick belly to back suplex for the same. Not that it matters as the Boston Knee Party is enough for the pin to retain the title at 10:21.

Rating: C. The best thing about this match is the time. There’s no reason whatsoever for Eddie to need more than about ten minutes to dispatch Drake and that’s what happened here. Drake is similar to the Miz: mainly talk, but he’s so good at it that he can hang above his in ring levels. This gets rid of Bound For Gold but Drake did well enough that he could be back here someday.

Post match here’s the DCC to go after Eddie. The champ is laid out and the masks come off to reveal someone unnamed (Eddie Kingston), Bram and James Storm, the latter of whom seems to be the leader.

Overall Rating: C-. The show was fine enough but as usual there’s almost nothing to get connected to. Everything in TNA (save for the Hardys) is always so structured with people winning a tournament or a competition or something like that to get a title shot. You never have someone get over on sheer popularity and become a contender because everything has to be earned. I like the sentiment and it’s good for a change but as usual, it’s not a good idea to have everything be the same. I need more emotion and something to connect to as most of the time I’m just watching things happen instead of getting interested in them.

Results

Mike Bennett b. Moose via countout

Ethan Carter III b. Abyss – Sleeper

Trevor Lee b. Rockstar Spud and DJZ – Fisherman’s buster to Spud

Lashley b. Robbie E./Grado – Spear to Robbie

Eddie Edwards b. Eli Drake – Boston Knee Party

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Impact Wrestling – October 20, 2016: I Think We Have A Bad Connection

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 20, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The main event scene has picked up in the last week as we have what seems to be a four way feud between Lashley, Cody, Moose and World Champion Eddie Edwards. Other than that there’s the start of the Hardys vs. the Tribunal and more of Maria Kanellis-Bennett and company vs. Gail Kim over the Knockouts Title. Let’s get to it.

We look at the end of last week’s show with Moose beating Carter to earn a shot against Lashley for a future title shot and Maria losing her rematch against Kim, meaning she’s out of power in the Knockouts division. As for tonight, Cody is ready to take the World Title from Eddie Edwards.

Here’s Cody to open things up. He’s a fan of country music and a song has been making him think about why he left his former employer. It wasn’t because of the money but because of the moments. Tonight he gets one of those moments when he has a chance to win the World Title. When he was fifteen he told his dad he wanted to be a wrestler. Dusty wasn’t sure but he gave his blessing, but only if Cody was the best. That means becoming World Champion so here’s Eddie to interrupt.

Eddie praises Cody for his career and says Cody has reinvented himself over and over. When Eddie is in the ring taking beating after beating, he knows who he is because of the Wolves Nation. The question is does Cody know who he is. Cody lists off parts of various characters he’s had over the years before getting in Eddie’s face. This brings out Lashley, who says the future is him hurting one of the two people in the ring. Cue Moose and our first match is after the break.

Moose vs. Lashley

The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. They immediately start slugging away but Lashley’s suplex is no sold. The Moose punches send Lashley outside, only to have him send Moose into the post. Back in and Moose gets thrown around again but he dropkicks Lashley off the top. A very big running dive is nearly left short but is still good enough to take Lashley out.

They trade spinebusters for two each (Moose’s looked way off) before Moose no sells a superplex (that’s Lashley’s third vertical suplex in about five minutes). A spear each gives both guys another near fall. Moose’s discus lariat gets two more but the chokebomb is broken up, allowing Lashley to hit the middle rope spear for the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C+. I really wouldn’t go out of my way to point out how similar Lashley and Moose’s offenses are like they did here. On top of that, they’re really going to have Moose lose clean this soon? I mean, it’s fairly clear that he and Lashley have very similar styles (give the whole trading moves here) so they’re going to stick with the same guy that has been in the main event for well over a year now and not exactly set the world on fire? Oh yeah: this is TNA.

The Tribunal talks about wanting respect but the feed cuts out to hear from the three masked men. Chaos arrives tonight.

Tyrus ad.

Here’s Fact of Life with Eli Drake. Eli is Bound For Gold and rips on the crowd a bit, which responds with a laugh track. The guest this week is Aron Rex and the “audience” isn’t thrilled. Rex loves the title and what it means so he calls it sweetheart. Drake talks his usual trash so Rex goes through various champions who don’t talk trash.

Since Rex beat Edwards for the Grand Championship, that makes him the man around here. Rex says none of them have anything on the man who is Bound For Gold. This brings Rex around to Ethan Carter III, who Drake says is bound for the dumpster. Cue Carter but Drake sends it to a break, complete with a TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES DUMMIES graphic. This segment gets better and better every week.

Back with Carter in the ring and calling Eli out for a fight. He wants to destroy that set but wants Eli to press the button so he can punch Drake (YEAH!), kick Drake (YEAH!) or choke Drake (YEAH!). Eli pushes the button over and over so Carter dives on the security and the fight is on. Rex tries to break it up but Jesse Godderz (who Rex insulted during his interview) comes out to go after Aron. Security breaks it up.

Here are the Hardys to do their catchphrases and accuse the Tribunal of trying to take food off King Maxel’s plate. Thankfully the Tribunal cuts off the DELETE chants.

Tag Team Titles: Hardys vs. Tribunal

Hardys are defending and it’s another brawl to start with the champs taking over early on. The announcers talk about the Best of Sting DVD being back in stock, which is one of the first merchandise plugs I’ve heard in a LONG time. Dax gets in a few shots on Matt but it’s quickly off to Jeff for some forearms to the head. Jeff is quickly taken down into the challengers’ corner but WAIT! We have to pause the match because Josh has an update on a new Pop television event! I could live with those a lot better if Josh knew anything about making a transition.

A legsweep gets Jeff out of trouble and it’s off to Matt for a bunch of biting. Did the Hardys ever have a face turn moment and I missed it? Or am I just supposed to cheer for them because the schmucks in the Impact Zone do? Not that it matters as we’re getting the Hardys whether we like them or not because they’re stars or something. Matt hits a quick Side Effect but gets caught in a double spinebuster for two. Back to back Twists of Fate end Baraka at 7:49.

Rating: B-. This was every bit of the tag team formula and it actually worked well. The Hardys can still do a basic match very well but that doesn’t mean I want two Hardy themed specials airing at Christmastime. That’s one of TNA’s major issues: they have no idea when to slow down on something.

Post match the three masked men appear and lay out the Tribunal. So we have masked men who appear after a series of weird visuals and attack people. And the response from the TNA fans who got annoyed at Final Deletion being copied will be……?

Allie is getting ready to stand up to Maria when Braxton Sutter comes up. That goes nowhere as Laurel Van Ness comes in to say Maria has something to say to Allie. Laurel hits on Braxton a bit too.

The masked men say no one is safe because they’re here to stay.

Lashley talks to Cody about destroying various saviors. Cody doesn’t think the good luck wishes are genuine and says it’s not bragging if you can back it up. Lashley says their paths will cross sooner or later.

We look back at the end of Gail vs. Maria from last week.

Here are Maria, Allie and Laurel with something to say but their entrance is drowned out by Josh going on and on about the reign of terror being over. Maria may not be in charge anymore but she’s still the greatest Knockout of all time. Of all the people she can blame though, it’s all Allie’s fault. Maria demands an apology but Allie finally stands up to her and says Maria is the one to blame. The beatdown is on and Allie is left laying with Maria saying it’s Allie vs. Laurel next week.

Lashley tries to play mind games with Eddie but the champ isn’t buying it.

Tyrus tells Mahabali Shera to not dance because he’s going to fight tonight.

Ethan Carter III and Jesse Godderz want to face Aron Rex and Eli Drake next week.

Mahabali Shera vs. Mike Bennett

Bennett’s music is restored this week. Shera poses to start so Mike knocks him into the corner, only to have his chops no sold. Bennett sends him into the corner and beats on Shera for a bit, only to get caught with slams and a bearhug. Since this isn’t 1984, none of that has any effect and Bennett rakes the eyes to set up the MIP for the pin at 2:57.

Video on Eddie vs. Cody.

DJZ says himself, Mandrews and Braxton Sutter are the beat Team X Gold team around. Cue Rockstar Spud (who gets a TATER TOT chant) to ask why he hasn’t been asked to participate. DJZ: “Nobody likes you.” Spud says he has his own team who will be here next week and they’re better than X, Y and Z. Do they really think they have room for Trios Titles around here? That’s what they think is the best use of their time?

TNA World Title: Eddie Edwards vs. Cody

Cody is challenging and has Brandi Rhodes in his corner. Feeling out process to start and a double dropkick gives us a standoff. Back from a break with Cody getting kicked down to the mat, only to have him chop Eddie into an armbar. Eddie fights up again but eats the Beautiful Disaster, followed by a springboard dive to the floor.

A slam on the ramp sets up a modified Muscle Buster on the champ for another near fall and Cody is getting frustrated. The champ is loaded up for a superplex but reverses into a small package (looked horrible as Cody was laying on the mat and then raised up to get to the pin) to retain at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This was fine but it’s just another title match being handed to an ex-WWE guy who hasn’t proven a thing in this company yet. At least Rex had to win a tournament to get his title. Cody on the other hand was literally handed a World Title match the day he arrived and that’s not a good look for TNA.

They shake hands and Eddie lets Cody pose (Why? He hasn’t actually done anything yet.), allowing Maria to come out and attack Brandi as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. Horribly choreographed ending aside, this was a mostly watchable show. However, there’s a big problem that TNA has had for a very long time now and this week showcased it more than they’ve done in a long time: there’s no one to connect with for most fans. Here are some of the characters on this show:

A MMA/professional wrestler

A former NFL player

The freakshow with magical powers

A loudmouth with a model wife who was treated like a huge deal on arrival

A guy who likes to dance and hired a fixer to do his fighting for him

The son of a legend who was literally given a World Title shot without winning a single match

There are a few relatable characters (Allie, maybe Eddie) but they’re very few and far between. They might do cool stuff every now and then and the wrestling can be good but the characters aren’t people I’m going to have a connection with. Look at Daniel Bryan: the everyman held down by the system who kept fighting until he won. It’s something people can connect to, which isn’t the case in TNA the majority of the time. Give us someone we care about instead of someone fun to watch. It can make a world of difference.

Results

Lashley b. Moose – Middle rope spear

Hardys b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Baraka

Mike Bennett b. Mahabali Shera – MIP

Eddie Edwards b. Cody – Small package

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Impact Wrestling – October 13, 2016: Suddenly, A Change

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 18, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews

A lot happened last week with the biggest change of events seeing Eddie Edwards becoming the new TNA World Champion by defeating Lashley. Tonight we have Maria Kanellis’ rematch for the Knockouts Title as she challenges Gail Kim in a No DQ match, though there’s always the chance that Maria’s cronies could screw things up again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of last week’s show, primarily focusing on Lashley losing the World Title.

Here’s Edwards for his first address as champion. Edwards says he’s worked to get here and the fans tell him he deserves it. He’s fought Lashley a few times now but something was different this time around. Edwards promises to be a fighting champion who will defend this title anywhere anytime and that includes facing Lashley again. Cue Lashley who quickly beats Edwards down and demands a referee out here for a rematch. Instead it’s Moose and Ethan Carter III for the save as Lashley leaves. That’s not exactly the best way to showcase the new champion but at least he didn’t lose the title yet.

The Tribunal wants to see Billy Corgan but get Aiden O’Shea instead. The boss hasn’t been impressed with them lately and they’re on the bubble. O’Shea advises them to do something to impress Corgan and soon.

Corgan says Lashley has just lost his automatic title rematch. Now that’s actually interesting. I’m glad we don’t immediately have to sit through Lashley getting yet another shot just because he was champion a week ago.

Grand Championship: Aron Rex vs. Jesse Godderz

Rex is defending and Godderz is coming in with a hamstring injury. They hit the mat to start and exchange some early headlocks as Josh and Pope argue over who is closer to Corgan. Jesse’s rollup gets two but he grabs at his hamstring on the kickout. The round wraps up with Godderz working on the arm and that’s enough to win the round.

A frustrated Rex rolls Jesse up a few times to start the second round, only to get caught in the Adonis Lock. Rex grabs the ropes but Jesse works on the arm some more as the round ends. Godderz wins round two and we take a break before the final round. Back with Rex being a bit less aggressive than you would expect and forearming Godderz outside. Jesse is smart enough to sit on the floor and eat up some time, only to have Rex kick him in the hamstring on the way back inside. The Revelator retains Rex’s title at 13:15 (including commercial and time between rounds).

Rating: D+. So they seem to already be teasing a Rex heel turn. To be fair he’s been a champion for a whole eleven days and that’s WAY too long for a face to be a good guy around here. I really don’t need yet another heel around here but it’s not like Rex is interesting as a guy in trunks so maybe it’s for the best.

Lashley tells O’Shea he has a surprise later tonight.

The Hardys talk about getting things back to where they were a year ago, which Jeff thinks means they’re even again. Matt says no because he can only indulge his addiction for one night only. Jeff seems a bit more like his old self here.

Allie gets an e-mail from someone (presumably Corgan) saying everyone is banned from ringside for Maria’s title defense. Maria freaks out and yells at Allie for not telling her.

Lashley interrupts Moose and Ethan Carter III and tells them that they’re in the main event tonight.

Here are the Hardys for a chat. Matt says he set his brother on an odyssey to regain the Tag Team Championships of the World and that debt was repaid at Bound For Glory. They’re the best team in the world, including the Bucks of Youth and the Day of the New. Jeff sings the theme song and Matt makes noises because he’s having a pre-mo-nition: there will be new #1 contenders crowned tonight in the Zone of Impact. Cue the Tribunal to jump the Hardys from behind.

Video on Mike Bennett vs. Cody. Bennett isn’t pleased with Cody showing up and trying to make an impact. Tonight they’ll settle things in the ring.

Cody vs. Mike Bennett

Feeling out process to start with Cody grabbing a sunset flip for two but missing the Beautiful Disaster. With Bennett on the floor, Cody hits a springboard dive to take him out in a big crash. Maria offers a distraction though and Mike gets in an elevated DDT off the barricade. Since it’s 2016, that’s not even enough for a close call though as Cody is back in by eight.

A dropkick gets two for Mike but Cody starts his comeback with some forearms and an Alabama Slam. The Beautiful Disaster connects but Bennett ducks the moonsault press. Instead it’s a Pedigree from Bennett for another near fall, only to have Cody take him down and try what looks like a Figure Four. Maria offers another distraction but Cody comes right back with Cross Rhodes for the pin at 8:45.

Rating: C+. Cody looked like his usual self so that’s all well and good, though I’m not wild on having Bennett lose again. He’s just fallen through the floor lately and while he’s still good, there’s no fire to him anymore. I’m also not sure why they had this match so early, other than giving Cody his title match way too soon.

Moose is ready for Ethan.

X-Division Title: Marshe Rockett vs. DJZ

Rockett is challenging and we get a quick video package on him before the match. Marshe is 6’4 and 250lbs so he’s not your normal member of the division. DJZ goes after him in the corner but gets shoved away by the much bigger Rockett. The champ is launched out to the floor and Rockett hits a good looking dropkick back inside. DJZ speeds things up and sends Marshe outside for a flip dive. The ZDT retains the title at 4:48.

Rating: C. Standard X-Division match here, meaning they bring in someone who could be a big deal and take the division by storm and then he loses in his first singles match because there’s no time to build up a story or interest in a match. DJZ is a good champion but he’s running through the division way too fast.

Bennett says he’ll have Maria’s back tonight but Allie says he’s banned as well.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis-Bennett vs. Gail Kim

Kim is defending, there are no disqualifications and Madison Rayne is on commentary. If Maria loses, she’s out of power in the Knockouts division. Maria tries to bring in some weapons but is quickly thrown to the floor. Gail puts her in a dumpster and sends her flying down the ramp into the post. Back in and Maria uses some trashcan lids to take over, followed by a spinebuster for two. A kendo stick shot puts Maria down but Gail lets her up at two. Instead Gail goes with Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid to retain at 4:57.

Rating: D. I’m really hoping that’s it as there’s no reason for this to keep going otherwise. Maria is out of power and Gail can be our glorious champion because that’s how the world is supposed to work. I’m not sure who is left to challenge Gail unless they can somehow get us to her vs. Allie, who was the biggest deal in the division for a bit.

Eli Drake tells Ethan not to choke tonight.

Cody comes up to see Eddie Edwards in the back and asks if he’ll be ok for their title match next week. Eddie says he’ll be fine and they’re cool.

We get a vignette with a clock spinning. Three men in masks are sitting behind a table covered in masks. They’re bringing clarity and order to Impact and they’re not afraid to take a stand.

Moose vs. Ethan Carter III

The winner of this faces Lashley in a #1 contenders match. They start fast with both guys going for their finishers early on. An exchange of dropkicks goes better for Moose and they head outside with Carter taking over off some forearms to the chest. Moose is right back with a bicycle kick to the face and an AA onto the apron for good measure. Back in and Carter missile dropkicks Moose down and it’s time to chop it out. A pop up powerbomb and senton give Moose two but Carter is right back up with a Stinger Splash. The chokebomb sets up a discus lariat to the back of Carter’s head for the pin at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This was a bit better than I was expecting and it makes sense to have Moose go forward like this. We’ve seen Carter fighting for the title for well over a year now and it’s time for someone else to get a shot in that spot instead. Moose vs. Lashley should be fun, though I would wait a bit longer than a week for that showdown.

Lashley comes out to stare down Moose as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. That’s one of their better shows in a while as TNA actually did a few things. Unfortunately though they did a lot of things in one week that could have been stretched out for several weeks, which has always been a problem for them. The World Title scene feels hotter than it has in months and there’s some interesting stuff going on elsewhere. This felt a lot more energetic than most of their shows and that’s a good thing.

Results

Aron Rex b. Jesse Godderz – Revelator

Cody b. Mike Bennett – Cross Rhodes

DJZ b. Marshe Rockett – ZDT

Gail Kim b. Maria Kanellis-Bennett – Eat Defeat into a trashcan lid

Moose b. Ethan Carter III – Discus lariat to the back of the head

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