Ring of Honor TV – August 24, 2016: A Star Is Drawn
Ring of Honor Date: August 24, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 850
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly
We’re past Death Before Dishonor but given the screwy taping schedule around here, it could be weeks before we actually get around to the next ongoing TV show. The big story at the moment is Adam Cole winning the ROH World Title without any help, ushering in the Bullet Club as the top group in the promotion. Let’s get to it.
Jonathan Gresham vs. Hangman Page
Page spits on his hand before the opening handshake. Gresham, a bit disgusted, starts fast with a dropkick to send Page outside. That means a tease of a dive but Page catches the real thing in a fireman’s carry and LAUNCHES HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE POST. The loud thud made it far worse and we take a much needed early break.
Back with Page getting two off a suplex but Jonathan starts in on the arm to get a breather. A dragon suplex doesn’t work so Gresham settles for a German suplex and a near fall instead. That means it’s time for a Crossface, only to have Page easily power his way out and kick Jonathan to the floor. The Rite of Passage puts Gresham away at 6:55.
Rating: C. This was fine as Page is really surprising me since his latest heel turn. It’s really annoying watching a team just add members who go nowhere so thankfully Page is actually making something out of this. Normally I’d talk about his huge win over Jay Briscoe at Death Before Dishonor but we can’t go there yet since this show’s schedule is all over the place.
The Cabinet is ready to beat up Dalton Castle and the Boys next week.
Video on Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. War Machine before their match next week.
The Young Bucks are ready for their World Tag Team Title shot next week and superkick the cameraman for no apparent reason.
Kamaitachi vs. Stuka Jr.
Stuka is from CMLL and flips around to start, setting up a dive to the floor to take Kamaitachi out. Christopher Daniels (Kamaitachi’s mentor) breaks up an Asai Moonsault and stomps away as we take an early break. Back with Kamaitachi stomping away even more and going for the mask like a true heel. Since that’s a bit too evil, Kamaitachi opts to just send Stuka into the barricade and choke with a chair.
Back in and it’s time to go for the mask again before Kamaitachi stomps on the knee. Stuka finally gets up and limps to the top for a moonsault into raised boots to give Kamaitachi a near fall. In something as close to cheating as you can get, Stuka loads up Shattered Dreams but hits a running dropkick to the ribs instead. That’s pushing it. They trade rollups for a few near falls each before the referee gets bumped, only to have Stuka dive onto Daniels. A top rope splash crushes Kamaitachi for no count so he pulls off Stuka’s mask and small packages him for the pin at 14:11.
Rating: C-. This is the kind of stuff that I can’t get into in any wrestling company, including Ring of Honor. Stuka is just someone from Mexico that I’ve never heard of and Kamaitachi’s entire character is that he’s Japanese and being mentored by the Addiction. I need more than that and an ok fourteen minutes of wrestling to keep my interest. The mask thing was fine but it would be nice to be told a little more about these people.
We recap the still stupid Kevin Sullivan/BJ Whitmer/Steve Corino story. Apparently Whitmer summoned Sullivan, who he sees as his spiritual father. It’s all about spreading chaos over ROH and Sullivan wanted the two of them to do it. This feels like something out of ten years ago at best and that’s not a good thing.
Jay Briscoe vs. Jay White
White has the Motor City Machine Guns in his corner. The much younger White takes Briscoe to the mat and grabs a rollup for two, which makes Briscoe take this more seriously. Briscoe forearms him in the corner and hits a running boot to the face for two. Back from a break with Briscoe slowly beating on White until a running forearm puts Briscoe down.
That’s enough for Briscoe who knocks White outside for a HARD suicide dive. Another big boot doesn’t make things any better for White and neither does the Death Valley Driver. The Jay Driller is broken up though and a German suplex gives White his first real offense. Back from another break (yes in this match) with White hitting a dropkick and Rock Bottom for two before grabbing a Crossface.
White switches it up into something like an abdominal stretch crossface (it’s better looking than it sounds), sending Briscoe’s foot into the ropes. Briscoe finally throws him off the top to take over and plants White with a superplex. Both guys are gassed so it’s time to slug it out from their knees as TV time expires at 16:00.
Rating: B. That ending actually got me and well done Ring of Honor for not going with the tired “well the rookie tried but came up just short” ending. I completely understand why you don’t want someone who has been around about a month to pin one of your top stars but it took some guts to go with a draw here instead of the Jay Driller for the pin. White looks like a player now and that’s without a doubt the best thing they could have done. Well done indeed and a very legitimate surprise.
Overall Rating: C+. You can take or leave the rest of the show but the main event was one of the better booking decisions I’ve seen in a good while on a TV match. Sometimes you need to make a new star and while this isn’t a career making moment, it’s something that’s going to get him noticed. I didn’t expect that coming into this nothing show and I got a good match as a result, making this show a success.
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Ring of Honor Global Wars 2016: Japanese Cannon Fodder
Global Wars 2016 Date: May 8, 2016
Location: Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Mr. Wrestling 3
This is a few months old and unfortunately someone requested it recently so I have to actually look at the thing. Basically it’s a bunch of New Japan vs. Ring of Honor matches and a few ROH only matches to pad out the card. I’m really not a fan of this concept, especially after weeks of watching the same thing on ROH TV. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
The opening video talks about the history and business relationship between the two promotions and looks at some of the great matches. Tonight is also about the return of Colt Cabana, who wants Jay Lethal’s ROH World Title. Thankfully the title part gets much more time than the interpromotional matches.
We run down the card in case you bought the show on a whim.
ACH vs. Dalton Castle vs. Roderick Strong vs. Adam Page
Winner gets a TV Title shot at some point in the future. Castle has the Boys with him and is the big crowd favorite. This is one fall to a finish but there are only two people in the ring at once. ACH and Page get things going with Adam scoring off a spinwheel kick. Back up and ACH starts his flips but Strong tags himself in to take a dropkick from Page. That means it’s off to Castle with Dalton doing his lean back to the mat to freak Adam out a bit. Strong tags himself in to beat on Castle as the announcers are worried about a referee mistake.
Page works over Castle with Strong saving a pin, much to Adam’s annoyance. It’s back to Strong to keep Castle down as this has turned into a glorified tag match. Castle gets in a suplex on Page but ACH springboards in for a swinging Downward Spiral. The heels are on the floor so Strong can get crushed by a suicide dive from Castle. Everyone but ACH is down on the floor and that means a big flip dive to really pop the crowd. Wrestling 3: “Cheese and crackers he’s good!” Back in and Strong blocks ACH’s top rope splash, only to have Castle Bang A Rang Strong onto Page for the pin at 8:28.
Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here with everyone flying around and the fun character winning to set up the biggest match of his career pretty soon. This is the kind of thing you want to open the show and if there’s one thing ROH knows how to do it’s get a crowd going, especially one like this who is already white hot no matter what.
Strong is livid about the loss.
Cheeseburger/Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Addiction
Daniels won’t shake Cheeseburger’s hand to start so he has to duck an early palm strike. It’s already off to Liger to face Kazarian but everything breaks down with Kazarian taking a bad looking double dropkick. Now it’s time for Kazarian and Cheeseburger to slap it out which really should go to Cheeseburger since he does a big palm strike (yes a palm strike). Kazarian takes over and the double teaming begins with a gutwrench suplex planting Cheeseburger.
Daniels suplexes his partner into a moonsault onto Cheeseburger, setting up an arrogant cover for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a hurricanrana allows the tag off to Liger (Wrestling 3: “Hot suey tag!”). The Liger Bomb gets two on Daniels but Kazarian breaks up the brainbuster. Celebrity Rehab (belly to back flip into a gutbuster) gets two with Cheeseburger making the save this time. A pair of STO’s put Cheeseburger down but he rolls Daniels up for the big upset at 7:02.
Rating: C-. Cheeseburger has been around for years now and while I get the appeal, he’s really not someone I have any interest in seeing. Yes he’s small and yes his big move is a running slap but that’s not enough to make me want to see him. The Liger partnership only helps a little bit as Cheeseburger just isn’t interesting no matter how you package him.
Post match the Addiction knocks Liger to the floor and hits the Best Meltzer Ever (moonsault into a spike Tombstone) on Cheeseburger.
We recap War Machine vs. the Briscoe Brothers. War Machine have the belts but can’t be considered the best until they beat the greatest team in ROH history. They’ve never beaten the Briscoes before so tonight is also about vindication. Now that’s a simple story that I can get behind.
Tag Team Titles: War Machine vs. Briscoe Brothers
War Machine is defending and this should be a really physical fight though they respect each other. Hanson easily throws Mark out to the floor and the champs start double teaming as I’m assuming they’re the moderate heels here. Jay pulls Rowe outside and now it’s time for the brothers to suplex Hanson. Mark grabs a Russian legsweep and get two off a clothesline. A backdrop sends Mark crashing out to the floor and it’s time for the big man dive to take everyone out.
Hanson does….something that sends him through the table but the camera misses it completely. Thankfully we get a quick replay showing that it was Jay double stomping him through the table, which is something you don’t see often enough. The replay that is, not the double stomp. Back in and it’s Jay slugging it out with Rowe, whose Rock Bottom suplex has no effect. Everything breaks down again and Hanson’s big clothesline flips Mark inside out to put all four on the mat.
We get the double standoff (cool visual) and it’s Jay winning the slugout against Rowe, followed by a Cactus Clothesline to put them both on the floor. Mark keeps things moving with an apron Blockbuster to Hanson as the fans are behind the Briscoes. Rowe blocks a Jay Driller and Superman Forearms Mark out of the air. Back up and it’s Hanson getting double teamed, only to have Jay get caught in the Path of Resistance. Hanson misses the moonsault though and there’s the Jay Driller for two. A pop up German suplex drops Mark and it’s Fallout to retain the titles at 15:15.
Rating: B. The lack of tagging aside, I had a lot of fun with this one as they beat each other up for fifteen minutes and told a story with War Machine going as far as they could to finally beat the Briscoes. Jay and Mark are the kind of team you can throw in there and have them put over anyone because of all the things they’ve accomplished over the years and that’s a very valuable asset.
Tetsuya Naito vs. Kyle O’Reilly
Naito’s IWGP World Title isn’t on the line here but he does come to the ring walking a white suit. Feeling out process to start with Naito threatening a right hand but pulling back and tapping Kyle on the chest instead. Kyle’s leg lock doesn’t get him anywhere and a cross armbreaker across the ropes has the same result.
The crowd cheers for Naito as he dropkicks Kyle because the Japanese guys are the stars here and everyone knows it. A dropkick in the corner sets up a slingshot dropkick have Kyle in trouble but he comes back with the forearms and kicks. That means it’s time for the guillotine choke into an arm trap/leglock at the same time.
Naito climbs the ropes for a tornado DDT followed by a neckbreaker off the ropes for two. They kick each other in the head until Kyle hits a rebound lariat to put both of them down again. A Regalplex gets two on Naito and a knee to the head makes it even worse. Not that it matters as he does a weird backflip into a reverse DDT (Destino) for the pin at 12:03.
Rating: B-. Kyle has grown on me as he’s gone from one of the most overrated people I’ve seen in years to downright tolerable. Naito winning was obvious because New Japan won’t let one of their top stars lose here because that might imply that ROH is on their level. The match was good though again: I need a story, not just having two people have matches.
Naito lays him out and throws the belt down post match.
We recap Kazuchika Okada/Moose vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin. Moose impressed Okada in their singles match and now they’re teaming. End of story and all animosity.
Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin vs. Kazuchika Okada/Moose
Okada and Moose have Gedo and Stokely Hathaway in their corner. Tanahashi and Okada start things off and the fans are in awe, despite knowing that this was a distinct possibility. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Okada vs. Moose and the fans aren’t pleased. Elgin does the delayed vertical suplex but Moose no sells it. You know, because it’s just a suplex.
Tanahashi comes in and mocks the Moose chant, only to have Moose and Okada dropkick their opponents to the floor. Moose isn’t done as he hits a big dive to the floor to take them out and get the fans’ respect for a bit. It’s Tanahashi playing the face in peril (good role for him) until Moose misses a charge, allowing the hot tag off to Elgin for the powerful house cleaning. Elgin only stays in for a bit before we get to the real showdown with Okada vs. Tanahashi with Okada getting the worst of it.
Tanahashi escapes a Tombstone attempt but neither can hit a Rainmaker. Instead Okada hits a Sling Blade but Elgin comes back in to powerslam Tanahashi off the top. Elgin puts Tanahashi on his shoulders for a kind of reverse Alabama Slam for two on Okada with Moose making the save. Tanahashi and Moose head outside with Elgin hitting a hard clothesline to the back of Okada’s head. Moose comes back in with a spear to Elgin, followed by the Rainmaker for the pin on Elgin at 13:46.
Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad though I could have done with Moose pinning Elgin and actually getting a big rub off this instead of just getting to stand next to the big star. At least Moose was actually involved in the ending as until then it was just about all of the New Japan guys doing their thing while Moose was along for the ride.
We recap Tomohiro Ishii vs. Bobby Fish which really shouldn’t have anything to do with Ishii but screw off with the whole storytelling thing when we can just go “New Japan vs. ROH, next.” Fish had been feuding with Strong over the title as Fish made him tap but the referee didn’t see it, allowing Strong to retain the title. Then Ishii won the title and took it over to Japan, leaving Fish to beat Strong again and earn this shot in what should have been the title change.
I’ve already done this one twice for ROH TV so I’m just copying it instead of doing it all over again.
TV Title: Tomohiro Ishii vs. Bobby Fish
Ishii is defending. Fish actually runs the much bigger Ishii over to start but Ishii does the same to send Fish outside for a bit of his time. Back in and Fish fires off some kicks to put Ishii in trouble, which isn’t something you see happen to him that often. Ishii wins another slugout though and a headbutt puts Fish down with ease.
Fish makes the mistake of headbutting Ishii and the referee has to check on him as a result. The champ gets knocked off the top but Fish misses a flying headbutt, only to start back in with kicks to the knee. Fish hits an exploder suplex for two but getting headbutted for his efforts. Ishii gets his own near fall with a delayed vertical superplex, followed by a Saito Suplex.
Fish looks mostly dead so Ishii powerbombs him for two more but Bobby grabs a sleeper. I could go for a small vs. big match without the smaller guy jumping on his back with a sleeper. It’s just so overdone. Ishii, seemingly annoyed with how lame Fish’s strategy was, German suplexes him down.
They head to the apron with Fish back on his feet and slugging it out. As expected, Ishii easily knocks him down but Fish kicks the leg out to put both guys down on the floor. Back in and a hard lariat gets two for the champ but Fish goes back to the sleeper. He fires off some elbows to the head and survives a flip attempt to actually knock Ishii out at 15:30.
Rating: B. The match was a good, hard hitting brawl but Ishii is the definition of a guy that had no business winning the title or being involved in this story whatsoever. Strong vs. Fish had been a well built up story but instead of getting the payoff we had been set up for, Ishii got the belt despite having no connection to either of them. That’s becoming too common of a tradition and it’s getting old in a hurry. This match was good but Fish vs. Strong would have been as well and had a strong story to go with it. Which sounds better?
Kushida/Matt Sydal/Motor City Machine Guns vs. Bullet Club
For the sake of simplicity, I’ll only refer to Matt Sydal as Sydal and Matt Jackson as Matt. Young Bucks and the Guerillas of Destiny (Tama Tonga/Tama Loa) here. Kushida and Sydal are IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, the Guerillas are the IWGP Heavyweight Tag Team Champions and the Bucks are two thirds of the Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Champions with Kenny Omega. Mr. Wrestling 3 has a Bullet Club Superkick Counter as we get so far into the meta humor that my head wants to explode.
Sydal rides Matt to start so it’s a Too Sweet poke to the eye and a lot of crotch chopping. The good guys (as in not the Club) clean house and it’s a double dive to take the Bucks out. Back in and we get some sweet (not too sweet) triple teaming to on Matt as this is one sided so far. The Bucks start kicking everyone (not superkicking, much to Wrestling 3’s chagrin) but their dives are broken up by Guns’ superkicks. Wrestling 3: “THOSE ARE THRUST KICKS!”
The Guerillas no sell kicks to the face and clothesline the Guns down and it’s time for some Buck diving. Back in and Shelley blocks a superkick but gets kicked in the head anyway. Loa comes in and is one of the biggest balls of energy I’ve seen in a long time with headbutts and splashes to keep Shelley in trouble. Tonga comes in for a splash of his own before it’s off to Matt for a chinlock.
Shelley takes out both Bucks and makes the hot tag off to Kushida as things speed up again. Everyone else clears out and it’s Tonga not being able to powerslam Sydal, who escapes with a kick to the head. Some, ahem, thrust kicks drop the Guerillas before Matt gets quadruple teamed in the corner. A powerbomb/top rope double knees to the face gets two as the Bucks run in for the save.
Skull and Bones (top rope splash/neckbreaker combo) gets two more before Nick comes in and does SUCK IT over and over because popping the crowd is far more important than having a good or logical match. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up and a quick Meltzer Driver puts Shelley away at 13:04. Wrestling 3: “I JUST WASTED SIX GRAND!!!”
Rating: C. The match was certainly watchable but this meta comedy and running jokes throughout the match really bring things down. As I’ve said roughly 18,000 times, the Bucks are supposed to be heels but spend the whole match doing things faces would do. It makes the match feel completely uneven and it’s really annoying when you’re trying to keep the match straight. I know their response is they’re “evolving” the business but as is always the case, that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
Wrestling 3 is distraught and it gets even worse when BJ Whitmer comes out in a Masked Superstar mask. Whitmer has a flash drive with something Wrestling 3 will want to see.
Long recap of the World Title match with Colt Cabana returning to win the one title he’s never been able to capture. He’s an indy legend but wants one more chance at the big prize. Cabana pinned Lethal in a quick non-title match to earn a shot.
Nigel McGuinness joins commentary.
ROH World Title: Colt Cabana vs. Jay Lethal
Lethal is defending and only has Taeler Hendrix with him. Cabana, the hometown boy, knocks him into the corner to start and the chops start early and Jay hides for a bit. A hiptoss sets up a basement dropkick to knock Cabana out to the apron and they’re still at a fairly hot pace to start. Jay misses another dropkick but a Hendrix distraction fails as well. Eh she’s there because of how she looks, not because of how she does things.
Hendrix redeems herself a bit by grabbing Colt, allowing Jay to hit three straight suicide dives. Unfortunately that means an ejection with Nigel having to drag her to the back by the wrist. Back in and we hit the chinlock before the Lethal Injection is countered into a rollup for two. A quick Lethal Combination sets up the top rope elbow for two on Cabana but he dives into a rollup for the same. They fight over a Tombstone with Jay connecting for two, meaning he’ll likely get a letter from the Bullet Club for copyright infringement.
Colt comes right back with the Billy Goat’s Curse (reverse Boston Crab), only to have Hendrix run out and pull the referee to the floor. Speaking of the Bucks, here they are to superkick the referee and Hendrix. The Bucks pull out two Bullet Club shirts (Wrestling 3: “I’M GETTING THE SHIRT!!!”) and toss them to Lethal and Cabana (Wrestling 3: “BUT I WORKED SO HARD!”). There go the lights and it’s Adam Cole in the ring in the shirt. Cabana and Lethal take superkicks and we’ll call it a DQ at about 16:00.
Rating: C+. This was fine until the ending with the Bullet Club taking over the ending and making it all about them instead of having anything to do with the match. Unfortunately this is probably it for Cabana, who was really in this spot for the sake of having a face for the Bucks to superkick. In other words: it’s the same thing that happened far too often on this show but that’s how Ring of Honor works these days.
Security eats superkicks and the counter goes back up but they only count double kicks as one. I DEMAND A REFUND! The Guerillas come out and the beating continues with Loa spray painting BC on a table and a security guard being powerbombed through it. More spray paint continues with the announcers getting kicks of their own.
The Bucks jump on commentary to do a Jim Ross impression because that’s cutting edge. Cole ties Lethal to the ropes and superkicks him a few times with the counter still going. Cue the Bucks’ dad (just go with it) who gets superkicked as well. The cameraman is kicked down and the Club all stare into the camera to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This is a show where the wrestling really isn’t important. This show was all about the Japanese stars looking WAY more important than the ROH stars, making this far less a competitive show and much more about making New Japan look completely superior to Ring of Honor.
There were eight total matches on this show with Ring of Honor wrestlers winning in five of them. Of those five wins, there were two tag matches with a New Japan partner and two matches with no New Japan stars involved. Counting the no contest, New Japan went 4-1 along with destroying the World Champion and the #1 contender to close the show.
This was basically a New Japan show featuring the Ring of Honor players. I get the concept there, but that’s been all we’ve seen on Ring of Honor TV for weeks leading up to this pay per view. Yes I said pay per view, as this show carried a $45 price tag. I’m sure all the fans who paid to see Ring of Honor vs. New Japan, which is how this show was billed (in the one week of TV dedicated to it), and got the Bullet Club dominating everything in the end.
If that’s what you want to see on your Ring of Honor shows then so be it but I really do not care about seeing the Young Bucks, Okada, Tanahashi or any of the other names come in and beat the tar out of the Ring of Honor stars. The wrestling was actually quite good but the booking was a disaster, especially since the ending was just a big TUNE IN NEXT WEEK…..when you get a Jay Lethal special! Followed by a Bullet Club special!
Ring of Honor REALLY needs to switch some stuff up because this booking isn’t doing anyone but New Japan and the Bullet Club any favors. If that’s what Ring of Honor is going for then keep going with it but it’s really not working for me. I watch ROH because I like their roster but the last few months have told me that they exist for the sake of putting over New Japan and this NWO tribute stable for reasons that I really do not understand. I’m sure it’s some kind of knock on WWE for introducing the Club because that’s unfair or whatever their latest reasoning is. Either way, it’s a good but very, very frustrating show.
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Ring of Honor TV – July 20, 2016: …..THE TASKMASTER???
Ring of Honor Date: July 20, 2016
Location: Cabarrus Arena, Concord, North Carolina
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
We’re less than a month away from Death Before Dishonor and it should be interesting to see how much ROH can cram into the card in the next few weeks. I mean, there’s always the possibility of bringing the New Japan guys in again as they haven’t been around in a full week at this point. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Kamaitachi vs. Jay White
This is fallout from Best In The World where Kamaitachi attacked White (a New Zealander), who was in the crowd. Naturally the commentators just show us this happening without actually saying anything. White’s name isn’t even mentioned in the clip they show. Kamaitachi is part of the Addiction (the New Japan contingent) and has Christopher Daniels in his corner. White is a good looking kid and New Japan Dojo graduate making his ROH debut.
Kamaitachi jumps him to start and a running shoulder to the ribs puts White on the floor. I’m not a big fan of the guy but Daniels is rather awesome as the overly proud manager. That’s something you can almost count on from a veteran and it adds a lot. They trade whips into the barricade and Daniels adds a clothesline to really cheat. Back from a break with Kamaitachi working on the leg with a modified figure four.
White escapes and hits a brainbuster but can’t nip up. That’s better selling than you get most of the time. A missile dropkick gets two for Jay but Kamaitachi hits a release Falcon’s Arrow. Double knees from the top rope get two on Jay and a swinging Rock Bottom gets the same on Kamaitachi. Daniels’ interference doesn’t quite work as Jay sends Kamaitachi into him, setting up something like a lifting Cradle Shock (Chris Sabin’s old finisher, called the Kiwi Crusher here) for the pin at 10:25.
Rating: C. Who are these people and why should I care? That’s what comes to my head far too often when I see New Japan wrestlers on this show: I have really no reason to care about these people and the wrestling is nowhere near good enough to overcome that lack of an emotional connection. I know a lot of fans only care about the in ring action but I need more than that and it lacks almost every time with this revolving door of imports. The match was fine but without a reason to care, it was just two people doing moves to each other.
The Addiction beats White down until the Motor City Machine Guns make the save. Now why couldn’t they have made this a proxy match for the teams’ feud? Sabin wants to make it a six man tag right now and McGuinness says ring the bell.
Addiction/Kamaitachi vs. Motor City Machine Guns/Jay White
Following WWE’s bad example, the bell rings and we take a break five seconds later with no one even in the ring yet. Back with Sabin getting double teamed followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker from Daniels. Kamaitachi hits a running basement dropkick before it’s off to Kazarian for a front facelock. Everything breaks down for a little bit and the hot tag brings in White for some running clotheslines. A powerslam gets two on Daniels and the Guns start in with some of their signature stuff, including the bridging neck crank into the running dropkick. With everyone else on the floor, White hits a sitout powerslam to pin Daniels at 9:10.
Rating: C+. I’m still not a fan of the Guns in ROH but this was an improvement for the simple fact that I know who these people are and who they’re having issues. White looked fine and was probably the best part of the matchbut I need a little more of a reason to care about the two newcomers. Having four others in there helped but White and Kamaitachi need some work.
The Bullet Club is tired of everyone running from Adam Cole, who promises that Kyle O’Reilly will never be ROH World Champion. If I were them, I’d be tired of that whole ending at Global Wars still not going anywhere. Was there a point to that or was it really just a random beatdown that might lead somewhere in a few months?
Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. Victor Andrews/James Anthony
Taylor and Lee are two monsters in suits who attacked War Machine at a recent show in Columbus. Anthony is sent outside early on and it’s time for the loud chops. A pop up sitout powerbomb sets up a middle rope splash (Senmetsu, Japanese for annihilation) crushes Andrews at 2:00.
War Machine comes out for the brawl with Lee, who probably goes about 350lbs, hitting a huge flip dive over the top to take everyone out.
Quick preview for Jay Lethal vs. Kyle O’Reilly for the World Title next week. Both of them want to prove that they’re the best in the world. This was a simple exchange but it’s far more than we get most of the time.
Here’s BJ Whitmer to brag about beating Steve Corino at Best in the World. He’s accompanied by KEVIN SULLIVAN, in a purple wizard robe, who cost Corino the match. Whitmer says tonight is about Steve Corino’s questions. This started back in 2013 when Whitmer was sitting at home with a broken neck.
Sullivan approached him to carry on the legacy of evil that was started by King Curtis Iaukea and was supposed to be handed on to Corino and Whitmer. That wasn’t good enough though because Corino wanted it all for himself. Chaos is going to reign over ROH and all that matters is who will be causing that chaos to come. This chapter is over but the book has yet to be finished.
Does ANYONE want to see this ridiculous feud continue? Apparently this has been going on for three years now and they brought in KEVIN SULLIVAN to keep it going? That’s really the best they can do? Bring in someone who hasn’t been a regular wrestler in over twelve years (assuming you count a run in FIP as being a regular wrestler) because they’re evil? This really is the best thing they can come up with? As usual, ROH seems to have no idea how to just end something so they just keep it going, likely until Final Battle. The fans called this boring, which really isn’t something you hear around here.
Dalton Castle vs. Roderick Strong
There’s no real hiding the fact that this is Strong’s farewell match. Strong is taken into the corner to start and Castle tells him to bring it. Castle puts him on the mat and slams him for good measure. Now it’s Strong taking him to the mat as this is still in first gear. We take a break and come back with Castle being kneed off the apron, meaning it’s time for some fanning. Strong lays out the Boys and you just don’t do that to Castle.
Dalton’s fire is quickly extinguished with an Angle Slam into the post and both guys are down on the floor. Back in and some suplexes have Strong in trouble but he comes right back with a belly to back faceplant. Castle throws him down with a backdrop and some suicide dives send Strong into the barricade. The bridging German suplex gets two for Castle followed by more suplexes for the same. Dalton charges into a jumping knee to the face followed by a superplex and the Sick Kick for two. Back up and Strong charges into the Bang A Rang for the pin at 13:44.
Rating: C. This was fine but again it was just two people doing moves to each other. Castle lost a lot of steam with that loss to Fish though I get why they didn’t want to take the title off Bobby so soon. Strong didn’t get a sendoff or anything but maybe they just want him to quietly slip away instead of drawing the attention away from Castle and his win.
Overall Rating: C-. Slightly better show than last week as they’re still pretty much starting over from scratch since almost nothing was developed for weeks and months at a time. Having Cole mention Lethal and a World Title match announced for next week should help, especially with a pay per view in less than a month.
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Ring of Honor TV – June 1, 2016: Well Of Course It Is
Ring of Honor Date: June 1, 2016
Location: Ted Reeve Arena, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
Could this finally be the week? Could this finally be the week that we do something other than just recap stuff or show matches from Japan? It would be nice to finally get somewhere with this stuff as it’s been going on four months since we saw a Ring of Honor show without the Japanese contingent. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip from the end of Global Wars with Adam Cole joining the Bullet Club and laying waste to various people.
The main event tonight: three New Japan guys vs. the Bullet Club. Of course it is. Well to be fair one of those New Japan guys is Michael Elgin but still, close enough.
Lio Rush vs. ACH
In case one of them isn’t enough. ACH and partner Matt Sydal amicably split up at a recent house show. Silas Young sits in on commentary because he’s sick of people like ACH playing video games in the back before the show. A dropkick puts Lio down to start as Silas rips on the two of them for trying to be fake wrestlers. Rush sends him to the floor for a flip dive but gets kicked in the head back inside. A snap German suplex gets two on Rush and he runs into a superkick. ACH gets a brainbuster and the Midnight Star pins Rush at 4:10.
Rating: C. Yeah I know it was high flying and exciting but I’m really not a fan of this style. If nothing else you have two guys who wrestle a very similar style, which still makes me wonder why they even hired Rush in the first place. This was better than most ACH matches though so maybe it was Sydal holding them back.
Young comes in and lays both guys out post match.
Clip of the Addiction cheating to beat War Machine for the Tag Team Titles at a recent show.
Here’s the Addiction for a chat. Daniels talks about how much better the world feels right now because everything is just a little bit better now that they’ve got the Tag Team Titles back. He says no one else is worthy of them and since they’ve never been beaten in a Ring of Honor ring (Kelly: “SAY WHAT?”)……and here are the Motor City Machine Guns to interrupt.
Sabin thinks that since they’re already losing their battle with male pattern baldness, how about they lose those titles to the Guns tonight too? Roppangi Vice comes out as well with Trent saying they’re the young and cool tag team while the Addiction is getting old. That’s too much for Daniels so he says let’s do a triple threat right now and if either team can beat them, they get a title shot at Best in the World.
Roppangi Vice vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Addiction
Non-title. Sabin and Romero start things off while the Addiction chills on the floor, only to have the champs come in for some cheap shots. Romero clotheslines Kazarian and Daniels down before it’s off to Trent for some dancing on the apron before coming in to rake his boot over Kazarian’s eyes. The Guns come in and beat on Daniels for a bit with their fast paced (well high speed paced at least) but Kazarian takes Shelley down and we go to a break.
Back with the Addiction still in control on Shelley with a stomping in the corner. Not that it matters as Shelley gets over for the tag to Sabin a few seconds later as things speed up again. Everything breaks down with Trent suplexing Kazarian and kneeing Daniels in the face for two. Strong Zero is broken up and Daniels plants Trent with a Rock Bottom and the BME. That cover is broken up as well as the Guns get in one of their quick sequences capped off by a basement dropkick to Daniels, followed by Skull and Bones for the pin on Daniels at 9:28.
Rating: C+. The right team won here and I like it a lot better than having the champs lose a clean tag match to any team to set up the title match. Vice didn’t serve much of a purpose but it was nice to see them there to make this match different from the eventual title match.
Roderick Strong is going to prove how good he is to Jay Briscoe this Sunday in Columbus, Ohio. Strong is still not great on promos but he’s WAY better than he was just a few months ago.
The Bullet Club brags about throwing 51 superkicks at the end of Global Wars and says we’re just living in their world.
Nigel announces BJ Whitmer vs. Steve Corino in a Fight Without Honor for Best in the World after Whitmer has stalked Corino’s family.
We see Adam Page joining the Bullet Club and helping beat down a bunch of wrestlers at a recent show with the highlight being a Rite of Passage (over the back piledriver) onto a table (as in the table didn’t break) to Jay Briscoe. I get the NWO vibe but the group is getting WAY too big, just like the NWO back in the day.
Elite vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin/Yoshi Tatsu
Kelly almost laughs off the idea of there being groups within the Bullet Club. Matt Taven is on commentary for no apparent reason. The match begins after a break (thankfully without the bell ringing before the break) with the non-Bullet Club guys (I have no idea who the faces are in this as the Club gets ridiculous pops every time) telling them to suck it. The Club is sent to the floor and it’s Elgin flipping over the top to take them down.
The Bucks get double suplexed and Omega gets caught in the air, only to slip into a dragon suplex on Elgin. Tanahashi comes in to clean house but a double superkick breaks up the Cloverleaf. A triple dive takes the New Japan crew down and Tanahashi takes a triple kick to the head. Nick comes in for a bunch of cartwheels as Taven rips on how stupid this concept is, along with how easy it is to make fans cheer them.
Back with Tanahashi ducking a superkick and sending the Bucks into each other for the hot tag off to Elgin. Both Bucks get German suplexed at the same time but Taven accurately points out that they combine to weigh as much as one average wrestler. The Falcon Arrow from the apron gets two on Matt with Omega making the save. Everything breaks down and it’s Tatsu getting the tag as house is cleaned. With the referee looking away, Nick sprays Tatsu in the face and it’s a triple superkick for two. Omega adds the One Winged Angel for the pin at 10:02.
Rating: B-. It’s a fine enough main event if you can handle another Bullet Club match. Elgin continues to be an amazing strong man with seemingly limitless strength and that’s all he needs to be at this point. Tatsu being the Bullet Club Hunter over them injuring him a long time ago makes sense but he could use some wins over them. That can’t happen though because BULLET CLUB IS AMAZING.
Overall Rating: C+. What am I even supposed to say here? It’s very clear that Ring of Honor is all about the Bullet Club now and I can’t imagine Best in the World doesn’t end with the screwing up the main event. It’s nice to have some regular stuff going again but Ring of Honor becomes New Japan Jr. more and more every single week.
On top of that though, it’s really annoying to have the Bullet Club running around like heels but getting the biggest face reactions on the show. For all intents and purposes, they’re the top faces on the show despite being heels and that gets old in a hurry. Unfortunately they’re going to be here for a very long time because they make a fortune and the fact that they’re so upside down with psychology and absorbing half the roster just like the NWO. That group turned out fine though, right?
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Ring of Honor TV – April 6, 2016: We Get The Concept
Ring of Honor Date: April 6, 2015 Location: Sam’s Town Hotel and Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mr. Wrestling III, Kevin Kelly
We’re still in Las Vegas and it’s time to have another show that airs after a big show with no mention of the big show’s results. In this case it’s Supercard of Honor from Wrestlemania weekend but we’re doing the TV that deals with the fallout from the 14th Anniversary Show. It would be nice if they could find a way to work this out but I don’t see it coming anytime soon. Let’s get to it.
Instead of the regular opening sequence, we get a look at Donovan Dijak laying out Jay Lethal and injuring Truth Martini a few weeks back.
Lethal goes on a rant about how Dijak has injured his best friend after it was all Martini’s idea to bring him into the House of Truth in the first place. Now Dijak has the ROH World Champion coming for him and that’s not going to be pleasant.
Opening sequence.
Kazuchika Okada/Gedo vs. ReDRagon
Okada is IWGP Champion coming in. The Japanese guys want nothing to do with a pre-match handshake so it’s a bit testy as we get things going. Gedo cranks on Fish’s head to start before getting two off a rollup. That’s countered into a legbar as the fans chant for the New Japan guys.
Fish wants Okada and even lays down in the ring, offering him a chance to come in. Okada does come in but it’s also off to O’Reilly as the announcers talk about Kyle’s ear injury. An early sunset flip attempt is countered into a cross armbreaker until Gedo comes in to break it up with a right hand to the bad ear. The Japanese guys start in on the ear and we take a break.
Back with Kyle striking away at Okada and diving over for the hot tag to Fish. Everything breaks down and Okada hits his over the shoulder backbreaker on Fish but the Rainmaker is countered into a Samoan drop. Gedo breaks up the hot tag and superkicks Bobby for two as everything breaks down again. Okada gets sent to the floor and it’s Gedo getting double teamed with rapid fire forearms, followed by Chasing the Dragon for the pin at 12:24.
Rating: C. The match was fun but it’s nice to see the New Japan guys get beaten for a change. I know they’re a special attraction but far too often it seems there’s no reason to watch the match because it’s a guaranteed win. ReDRagon needs better opponents though because they’re at the point of having nothing left to do in tag action.
We look back at the Briscoes picking up the Tag Team Titles last week, much to War Machine’s annoyance.
The Briscoes say War Machine can’t call themselves the best of all time because they’ve never beaten Dem Boys. That sounds like a challenge to me and it should be one heck of a fight.
Adam Cole vs. Kushida
Kushida’s IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Cole shoves him around to start and for once the ROH guy seems to be the crowd favorite. Kushida doesn’t take kindly to this and rides Cole on the mat to some nice applause. A Fujiwara armbar sends Cole scrambling to the ropes. Adam gets in a few shots from the apron though and we take a break. Back with Kushida hitting an atomic drop and some seated dropkicks to the head to get the fans back on his side.
A front flip kick sends Cole out to the floor but the moonsault hits knees back inside. Cole gets two off a hard running Shining Wizard, only to have to get out of the Hoverboard lock with a small package. Kushida tries more kicks so Cole stomps on his hand, only to get kicked in the arm. There’s another Hoverboard lock but Cole puts him on his shoulders for two and forcing the break. Back up and Cole superkicks him in the back of the head, setting up the suplex into the backbreaker for the pin on Kushida at 11:05.
Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I’m not wild on: exchanging moves and then doing the finish. There’s no real connection between these teams and there’s no real reason to see the two of them fighting. It’s certainly not bad or anything but I’m going to forget I saw it in a few minutes because it had no impact on anything whatsoever.
Dalton Castle is ready for his Fight Without Honor with Silas Young. He might even fill Young’s pants with brine shrimp and throw him in a blender.
We look back at the Motor City Machine Guns reforming at the 14th Anniversary Show.
Addiction vs. The Machine Guns
Yeah no Motor City now. Sabin and Daniels get things going but Kazarian gets in a cheap shot thirty seconds in like a heel should. As you might expect, the Guns clean house and send us to an early break. Back with Shelley coming in off the top to work on Kazarian’s arm, setting up the quick takedown and rapid fire basement dropkick.
The double dive sends the Addiction into the barricade, followed by a high cross body from Shelley for two on Kazarian. Daniels gets in a shot to the back though and Addiction finally takes over. Kazarian and Daniels take turns on Shelley, including a double clothesline, allowing Daniels to put his foot on the chest for two. We take another break and come back with Shelley giving Kazarian a Stunner while DDTing Daniels at the same time.
That’s still not enough for the hot tag as Daniels pulls Sabin off the apron, only to have Shelley send Daniels head first between Kazarian’s legs. We finally get the hot tag to Sabin as everything breaks down. Kazarian gets kicked in the face but Daniels sends Shelley outside, setting up a big dive to take Alex out. Shelley slides back in almost immediately and starts the double team strikes on Daniels, followed by Skull and Bones for the pin at 12:21.
Rating: C. I was a big fan of the Guns back in the day but given how many fast paced teams there are now and the fact that Sabin is nothing compared to what he used to be (And somehow a former TNA World Champion. I still don’t get that one.), there’s really nothing left for them to do, making this a fairly worthless reunion. The match was fine but still not my style for the most part.
Post match the Addiction beats the Guns down, only to have Kushida and Matt Sydal run in for the save. The Young Bucks come in to superkick the two of them down, triggering another brawl to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. I’m really getting tired of these tag brawls to end the shows. We get it: the tag division is really competitive. Now either do something with them or stop having the same story over and over. There’s almost no reason for most of them to be fighting other than “the tag division is competitive” and that’s not going to work for months at a time.
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Ring of Honor TV – March 23, 2016: Can I Sign Up For Old Japan?
Ring of Honor Date: March 23, 2015
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel and Gambling Hall, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mr. Wrestling III, Kevin Kelly
It’s a special show this time as we have a new taping cycle including the New Japan crew. These things can go a bunch of different ways and unfortunately a lot of those ways don’t often go well for the normal Ring of Honor guys. It’s also the fight show after the 14th Anniversary Show so things can start moving forward. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
TV Title: BJ Whitmer vs. Tomohiro Ishii
Ishii is defending after taking the title in Japan because WE MUST PRAISE NEW JAPAN. The graphic says “Tomorhiro” but I can’t find anything else that spells is that way. We’re not quite ready to go yet though as Veda Scott and Cedric Alexander come out with Veda offering a check in exchange for the title shot. Whitmer is appalled at the suggestion that he could be bought off and then takes the check anyway.
TV Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Tomohiro Ishii
The match starts after a break with Ishii hitting a hard shoulder and throwing Alexander across the ring with ease. Ishii headbutts him down but Veda grabs the boot to finally give Cedric an opening. See, she’s effective as well as gorgeous. Cedric starts stomping at the head before going with a far less painful chinlock.
That’s enough for the champ though as he Hulks Up and scores with chops and a suplex. Cedric is up at two and climbs the corner for a spinning kick to the head. Back up and Ishii just headbutts the heck out of him, only to have the sliding lariat get countered into a crucifix for two. Ishii is done playing though and he braninbusts Alexander for the pin to retain at 6:32.
Rating: C. I’m really not a fan of the NEVER stuff that Ishii does over in New Japan but he’s perfectly acceptable when he’s doing more wrestling than all that strong style toughman nonsense. Alexander is way too generic for my tastes but at least Veda is awesome in her role and can carry anyone however far she needs to.
Here’s the Addiction to complain about the reunion of the Motor City Machine Guns. Oh great that’s a thing again. They take credit for bringing Chris Sabin back from the depths (I’d have cheered if they added “of TNA”) and now they’ve been betrayed for a Machine Guns reunion. Kazarian gets in a few shots at Las Vegas being the land of bad decisions and thinks this was all one bad choice. Daniels thinks the fans are all thinking it’s Christmas morning to see Sabin/Shelley back together again but it’s time for an apology.
Cue the Guns, unfortunately without their rocking TNA theme. Before they get going, how in the world is Sabin the only former World Champion out of this group? Sabin has reached the conclusion that the Addiction are just delusional jerks. The brawl is teased but of course the Addiction bails. Daniels says they’ll have a match but it’s up to them, the adults, to decide when that happens.
Jay Lethal is ready to defend against Hirooki Goto next week.
Reno Scum vs. Briscoes
Scum (Luster the Legend/Adam Thorestowe) is a team who has been around before but aren’t that well known. Adam and Mark get things going with the former getting double teamed in a somewhat heelish attack by the Briscoes. Back in and Adam can’t get anywhere with Mark so it’s off to Luster for a running shoulder in the corner. Mark gets pounded down but finally comes back with some right hands to both Scum.
It’s still not enough though as a catapult sends Mark into a Death Valley Driver for two. Not that it matters as Mark flips onto his feet and makes the tag off to Jay as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and a powerbomb into a neckbreaker gets two on Luster. A German suplex followed by a double stomp gets the same on Mark, only to have him pop up with a Death Valley Driver. The Froggy Bow is enough to put Adam away at 6:55.
Rating: C-. Scum didn’t do anything for me here and I’m really not sure who is supposed to benefit here. The Briscoes were fine enough but this had that Ring of Honor style to it that doesn’t get me interested. There are more than enough teams in Ring of Honor already and Scum really wasn’t needed here.
Dalton Castle is excited for his Fight Without Honor with Silas Young in three weeks but the Boys aren’t old enough to know what he has planned.
Young Bucks vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi/Michael Elgin
The fans are far more behind Tanahashi than the Bucks here, which is a nice sign for the future of wrestling. Elgin and Nick start with Michael actually trying a test of strength. Now since no power guy has ever gotten a small heel to try a test of strength, I’ll let you guess how this goes. The Bucks start speeding things up and a pair of dropkicks have the good guys (I think?) on the floor.
Matt dives over the top to take Tanahashi out and we take a break. Back with Elgin bicycle kicking Matt out to the floor before giving him a double suplex. Elgin and Tanahashi give Nick a double SUCK IT in a nice visual. There’s a delayed vertical suplex with Nick trying a save, only to have Elgin suplex both of them at the same time. Tanahashi grabs an abdominal stretch and uses Matt’s ribs as an air guitar. Eh that was amusing.
We hit the chinlock for a bit until Nick pulls Elgin to the floor for our first superkick. Nick gets in a regular SUCK IT and there’s the slingshot X Factor. We take a break and come back with the Bucks still in control and getting cheered way too loudly. Tanahashi gets in a cross body though and the tag brings Elgin back in. Big Mike picks up the Bucks for a Samoan drop/fall away slam at the same time because he’s got freaking strength. The Falcon Arrow gets two on Matt but double superkicks set up a double 450 for two on Elgin.
Tanahashi no sells ANOTHER superkick and gets loaded up into kind of a reverse Alabama Slam from Elgin to send him onto….Matt’s knees. Now you might think we just had enough double superkicks for a lifetime, but that’s not how the Bucks roll. FIVE more superkicks have them in control but the Meltzer Driver is countered with Elgin’s powerbomb. The Sling Blade and another powerbomb sets up the High Fly Flow to give Tanahashi the pin at 16:10.
Rating: B. Better match here but I’ve made my opinions on the Bucks pretty clear over the last year. I still don’t get why they’re faces in this or any other promotion (well maybe PWG would make sense) but the fans go nuts over them and that’s the point of bringing in acts like this. Tanahashi continues to be amazing (I’m a bit late on that one) and Elgin has that freakish strength that only a handful of people ever have, making this a rather fun match. Not exactly the kind of match I’d like as I’m not big on the styles of either promotion, but at least it was a fun performance.
Overall Rating: C+. This was good enough but the New Japan shows can get annoying in a hurry. At least we had a good match and the Fight Without Honor offers some promise, especially if it gives Castle the boost that he’s been needing for months. Unfortunately I have a feeling we’re in for A LOT more New Japan before we get there and that’s not the most entertaining thing in the world.
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Impact Wrestling – December 17, 2014: It Ends With Old Guys
Impact Wrestling Date: December 17, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West, Taz
Hosts: Christy Hemme, Jeremy Borash
Since the show is leaving Spike, this episode is the first half of a Top 20 Moments in TNA History and is airing at 11pm instead of the usual 9pm timeslot. It gets even better next week with the show starting at midnight on Christmas Eve night. When they bury a show they really bury it. Let’s get to it.
As usual I’ll be posting the full versions of any matches that are clipped.
20. Lockdown 2008.
TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe
In a cage with Angle defending and Joe’s career on the line. They haven’t had a PPV match in awhile so we get a recap of their whole history. This is treated more like an MMA fight with Angle in black shorts instead of his usual singlet and MMA fighter Frank Trigg on commentary. Before the match, Angle has Karen thrown out from her front row seat.
They even start by standing in MMA stances before trading leg kicks. Joe gets a leg bar but Angle is almost immediately in the ropes. Down to the mat with Angle hammering away at Joe’s guard as this is getting old fast. Joe gets the better of some mat grappling before it’s back to the stupid MMA stances. Angle finally snaps off a suplex and puts on a side choke until Joe makes the ropes.
Off to a front facelock from the champion before a quick German suplex gets two. A shot to the knee puts Joe down again and we hit the figure four. It’s about time we got to some wrestling. Joe finally turns it over but Angle is right next to the ropes. Angle cranks on the leg again but Joe chops his way out of it. That’s fine with Kurt as he slaps on a quickly broken headlock. Seriously a headlock in a cage match?
Back up and Joe nails a clothesline to put Kurt down but he has to shake his knee a bit. Kurt goes to the middle rope but gets caught by the enziguri. The MuscleBuster is countered and Angle hooks the ankle lock. Joe rolls out and gets two out of the release Rock Bottom out of the corner. The powerbomb into the Walls of Jericho into the STF into the crossface has Angle screaming.
Kurt grabs the ankle to finally escape but Joe pulls Angle back down into the crossface in the middle of the ring. Angle finally rolls over to get the ropes but Joe puts it right back on. Another rope is grabbed and the Angle Slam gets two. The champion puts on the ankle lock but he spins one too many times and gets pulled into the Clutch, only to use the referee’s shirt to make it to the ropes. Another Angle Slam attempt is countered and Joe sends him face first into the cage (first time it’s been used) and the MuscleBuster FINALLY gives Joe the title.
Rating: B. This got much better once they stopped the stupid MMA stuff and had a wrestling match. There was no need to have a cage here as it was only used once towards the end, which could have been replaced by a kick or something like that. It’s a good match and a good moment, but at the end of the day this was too overdone for what it needed to be.
19. Destination X 2012.
TNA World Title: Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode
Feeling out process to start without a lot of offense either way. After about a minute and twenty seconds they lock up and Roode grabs the arm. Aries grabs the arm to counter but gets run over. They’re still in slow mode and that’s fine. A rolling cradle gets two for Aries and he hooks an STF. They hit the mat and Roode slaps him in the back of his head a few times. Now Aries takes him down to the mat and hits a slingshot tope for two.
Roode hooks a headscissors on the mat which is quickly broken up and they head outside. Aries hits a top rope ax handle to the floor but his missile dropkick misses back inside and Roode takes over. Roode hooks a chinlock but a knee drop misses. Aries fires off with kicks and tries the Last Chancery but it doesn’t go on right. Roode goes to the floor but avoids the suicide dive, sending Aries into the barricade.
Roode hooks a bodyscissors back in the ring followed by a hard whip into the corner. He talks a lot of trash to the downed Aries and hits a combination F5/Samoan Drop for two. Off to a body vice on the mat and Aries is cut on the nose. Aries makes a comeback and fires off forearms and chops in the corner. They slug it out and a discus forearm puts Roode down. A clothesline puts Roode on the floor and there’s the suicide dive which connects this time.
This time the missile dropkick hits as well but Aries charges into a powerslam out of the corner. Aries comes back again and tries the Last Chancery again, but Roode is pretty bad at selling it. Roode counters into a Crossface but Aries counters right back into the Chancery. Aries gets in another shot to the head and goes up for the 450, but Roode moves. Aries rolls through it anyway but walks into the spinebuster for two.
The champion sends him shoulder first into the post and goes back to the Crossface. That stays on for a long time but Aries makes the rope. Roode is frustrated now so he grabs the belt, only to have it taken away by the referee. That allows the champ to hit a low blow for two. Roode argues with the referee and gets shoved into the corner, allowing Aries to hit the corner dropkick.
Aries tries the brainbuster but Roode escapes and the ref is bumped. Roode hits a belt shot for a VERY close two. The fisherman’s suplex is countered into a small package for two and Aries punts Roode in the head. He grabs the brainbuster out of nowhere for the pin and the title in a huge shocker.
Rating: B+. Another good match to close the show here, but the point of this was in the surprise. This felt like a big moment and it was the right call to pull the trigger here. This show was designed around the X-Division and having the longest reigning champion win the world title here was the right way to make the X Title look like it can be something comparable to the world title. Good match too.
18. Victory Road 2010.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.
Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.
I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.
There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.
Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.
We get a collection of comedy moments from over the years, including Shark Boy waking up in a hospital bed, Curry Man rambling and meeting Shark Boy, Eric Young winning a bikini contest, Big Fat Oily Guy, the Aces and 8’s Funeral, Jay Lethal and Flair having a WOO Off, Robbie E. vs. Robbie T. in a Bro Off (E.’s face at the end of T.’s routine still cracks me up), Shark Boy getting fat, Eric Bischoff being dumped in a portable toilet and ODB marrying Eric Young.
17. Impact – July 7, 2010.
This is another moment where they put the wrong date on the show as it was actually July 8. The moment is Jay Lethal’s perfect imitation of Ric Flair which words don’t do justice. He had the voice down and every catchphrase, sending Flair into fits in the ring. Go find this one online because it’s hilarious and all in the way Lethal sounds and just typing it out would ruin the joke.
16. Bound For Glory 2009.
X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
Ultimate X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.
It’s a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere. Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto everyone else in the match.
Back in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top rope double stomp from Shelley.
The Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver. Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason, only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.
Now it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).
Suicide throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows after them.
The fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone dies.
Rating: C+. That Daniels bump had me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here. Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved. It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it hard to sit through at the end.
15. Lockdown 2013.
TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray
In the cage of course with Hardy defending. Tenay says Ray has a 50+ pound weigh advantage about a minute after Ray is announced at 275 to Hardy’s 227. Feeling out process to start with Ray running Hardy over with a hard shoulder. A quick slam gets two for Ray and the champion bails to the corner. Hardy fights back with the Whisper in the Wind for two but can’t escape as Ray rams Hardy’s leg into the cage.
Ray starts a slow and methodical offense by working over the champion’s ribs and back. A big backdrop gets two for Ray but Jeff gets in a shot to earn himself a breather. The Twist and the Bubba Bomb are both countered but the second attempt at the Twist of Fate connects. Cue Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff into the cage but Jeff and Bully run them over. Bully lets himself be a springboard for Poetry in Motion before throwing both bikers out.
They slug it out in the middle of the ring with Jeff actually taking over. A flying forearm takes Bully down and there’s a low dropkick for two. Hardy tries to climb out but Ray makes the save and they slug it out on the top rope. Hardy kicks Ray in the head but falls to the mat, allowing Ray to fall off the top onto Jeff for a VERY close two. The Twist staggers Bully but as Jeff goes up, Ray hits a HUGE sitout powerbomb out of the corner to put both guys down.
Ray covers for two and the fans are split. Cue the Hogans to watch the main event from ringside to cheer on Bully. Ray gets to his feet very slowly but here are Aces and 8’s. Ray stands up and has a chain as the bikers come in. To the shock of not many people, Ray is thrown a hammer by D-Von and clubs down Jeff to win the title, revealing himself as the leader at 17:20.
Rating: B-. That powerbomb alone was worth the whole match. The ending isn’t really all that surprising but at least Aces and 8’s have FINALLY done something of note. Bully Ray as world champion of a major company in 2013 is a huge gamble to say the least, but it appears that we’re heading to Hogan vs. Ray down the line. To call that a gamble is an even shorter stretch but it’s what we appear to be getting.
We hear a quick recap from Bully Ray about how the Aces and 8’s plan came together. This really helped tie things together after it didn’t make a lot of sense for months on end.
In some storyline development, we see Shera being tortured in the woods, likely as his way of joining the Revolution.
14. Bound For Glory 2007.
Knockouts Title: Gauntlet Match
This is to crown the inaugural champion. As usual, it’s over the top with one minute intervals for the ten entrants until we get to the final two when it becomes one fall to a finish. Miss Brooks is in at #1 and Jackie Moore is in at #2. Jackie runs Brooks over and knocks her face first onto the mat until Shelley Martinez is in at #3. Brooks goes after Shelley and gets dropped with a reverse DDT for her efforts. Jackie goes after Shelley, allowing Brooks to hit a top rope seated senton on Martinez.
Awesome Kong is in at #4 but takes 55 seconds to get to the ring and can’t do anything. Jackie throws out Brooks and Kong dumps Martines. ODB is in at #5 and also takes her time getting in, allowing Kong to plant Jackie and dump her out. We’re down to ODB vs. Kong and of course ODB starts swinging. Angel Williams is in at #6 as Kong is hammering away on ODB. The girls wisely double team Kong but are quickly suplexed down.
Christy Hemme (looking GREAT) is in at #7 and immediately gets put in a torture rack. Kong slams her down until Gail Kim comes in at #8 with a missile dropkick. Hemme is taken out by medics as the other three gang up on Kong. They finally dump Kong out (and break her top at the same time) as Talia Madison is in at #9. ODB and Gail Kim double team Williams out Roxxi Leveaux is in at #10 so we have a final grouping of Gail, Roxxi, ODB and Talia. Gail throws out Talia and Roxxi dumps ODB to get us to the one on one match.
Roxxi nails her with a forearm to the chest and plants her with a fall away slam for two. The fans are almost entirely behind Gail, as they’ve been since the beginning. An Octopus Hold has Roxxi in trouble but she falls into the ropes. Gail misses a missile dropkick and they trade rollups for two each. Back up and Kim grabs White Noise for the pin and the first title.
Rating: C-. These matches are hard to get into and it would have helped quite a bit if we hadn’t had a battle royal about an hour ago. Kim is a good choice for the first champion and has a built in challenger in Kong, who had some great matches with Gail in the coming months. I do like that she won the title with a pin instead of dumping someone out though. It feels more proper.
13. Impact – March 3, 2011.
Time for the wedding. Eric Young is the ring bearer and Orlando Jordan is the flower girl. Jeff comes out thankfully not to his theme music. Tazz keeps calling Karen by the name Karen Angle. And of course here’s Kurt and the brawl is on. Jeff almost goes into the definitely not ten foot cake. Kurt hits a clothesline and here’s Karen. She slaps Kurt and goes into the cake. Angle’s music plays it out. This whole thing might have lasted two and a half minutes.
Karen says Jeff is a real man and the princess is taken care of. Oh and Kurt didn’t screw her enough apparently. Jeff completes her. The minister announces them as husband and wife through the power vested in him by the department of motor vehicles. The unintentional comedy is helping here. They actually get through the kissing of the bride, so Kurt busts out an ax and starts hacking the set to pieces, all with that creepy grin on his face. That was kind of awesome.
Bischoff sends out New York Jets linebacker Bart Scott. Yes send your celebrity out to the CRAZY MAN WITH AN AXE! Surprisingly enough they go at it and Kurt grabs the ankle lock and cranks on it. Didn’t expect that. Segment went WAY too long but the ending helped it a lot.
12. Impact – October 29, 2014.
TNA World Title: Lashley vs. Bobby Roode
They have a ton of time for this, Lashley is defending and Kurt Angle is guest referee. MVP and King are nowhere in sight. Lashley powers Bobby into the corner to start and easily takes him down with an amateur move. A hard shoulder to the ribs has Roode in even more trouble but Bobby comes back with a clothesline and tells Lashley to bring it on. The champ is all fired up but his clothesline is countered into the Crossface, sending Lashley out to the floor.
We take a break and come back with Lashley holding a reverse wasitlock until Bobby fights up with forearms. A quick Blockbuster gets two but Roode charges into a spinning spinebuster. Lashley ducks another shot but clotheslines Angle (first time he’s meant anything in the match) by mistake. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley nails the spear with no one to count the pin. Another spear hits Angle to knock him to the floor, allowing Roode to enziguri Lashley to the floor.
Bobby follows and avoids a spear, sending a ring attendant flying. A Roode Bomb on the ramp puts both guys down but there’s still no Angle to count anything. Instead Brian Hebner comes in to count the near fall and Bobby is frustrated. Lashley hits Roode low and gets the belt but Hebner says no.
That earns him a knockout clothesline, allowing Lashley to hit Roode with the belt. Angle comes in to count two and is finally back to his feet. The Roode Bomb is countered and Lashley snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope. Another attempt is countered into a sunset flip attempt but Roode falls on top for the pin and the title at 17:49.
Rating: B. The match got going near the middle but I really don’t see why Angle needed to be out there. Any regular referee could have played his role to the same degree but maybe they’re setting up Lashley vs. Angle down the line? The important part though is Roode being made into a bigger deal than he was before, but now he needs to have a very solid title reign to make it even better. TNA is really needing a top face and if Roode is that guy then so be it.
11. Bound For Glory 2011.
Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
Bischoff’s son is referee. Sting is insane here and wears a Hulkamania shirt to the ring. Hulk is in street clothes. The bell rings and here comes Flair as we keep looking at Dixie Carter in the front row. Sting grabs a headlock to start but Hogan shoves him away and Hulks Up. That gets Hogan a crotch chop so Hulk punches him down and puts on a chinlock. Sting gets sent outside but is quickly back inside to have his back and eyes raked.
Hogan throws him outside for low blows and chops from Flair before Hulk starts biting at Sting’s forehead. The beating goes on for awhile until they head back inside where Flair slips Hogan a foreign object. The shots bust Sting open but Sting comes back with right hands. He stops the beating and goes after Flair, stealing the foreign object to cut Hogan open as well. A pair of Stinger Splashes set up the Scorpion Deathlock and Hogan gives up, forcing referee Jackson James to call for the bell.
Rating: D+. This one would fall under the category of “what else were you expecting?” At the end of the day, TNA basically exists to make Sting look good so this really shouldn’t be a surprise. Someone young probably should have gotten the rub from Hogan, but Sting clearly needed this spot instead right?
Immortal comes out to destroy Sting with chairs as Abyss is shown watching from behind the curtain. Jackson James takes one of them away, turning face about an hour and fifteen minutes after he turned heel. Bischoff hits him with a chair, starting the most unwanted face push in the history of ever.
Sting crawls over to Hogan and begs for help, because if there’s one thing more important than making Sting look good, it’s making Hogan look good. Hogan makes the big face turn and helps Sting clean house, because two bloody guys in their 50s beating up about seven guys armed with chairs makes perfect sense. Posing ensues and of course the old WWF crowd eats it up. It’s a cool segment for the moment, but this was basically all about Hogan and Sting instead of doing anything for TNA long term.
Overall Rating: B. The show was entertaining due to having some excellent wrestling, but let’s recap that ending real fast: the big moment that you end the show on is two guys in their 50s who currently work for WWE. They couldn’t have swapped this with #12 so that the last thing we see is the reigning World Champion standing tall after vanquishing an unstoppable beast? It was really necessary that we had to show Sting and Hogan at the end of the show?
The show as a whole was good enough, but I would have liked to see some stuff from the old days. There had to be some great stuff in there, but maybe they’re saving those for next week. I really hope this doesn’t turn into the best since the Hogan Era began, because there are some gems from back in the day that have just been forgotten over the years.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Wrestler of the Day – December 4: Motor City Machine Guns
Same idea, other team. Today it’s the Motor City Machine Guns.
Again, not a best of and I’ll skip the DVD matches. You know, all like two tag team matches.
Also again, we’ll start things off in the early days of the team. From Victory Road 2007 in a BIZARRE feud.
Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jerry Lynn/Bob Backlund
The Guns have Nash with them. This is another of those bizarre angles that only happens in a company like TNA. For a 57 year old guy, Backlund is in great shape. Apparently Backlund was a problem for TNA as he disappeared from his hotel on the morning of the PPV. The reason: he walked the five miles from the hotel to the Impact Zone and left earlier than everyone else.
He’s an odd one, but if I can look like that at his age I’ll be happy. It’s weird seeing Sabin just getting out wrestled by Backlund. Both guys tag and we get dueling geriatric/LET’S GO JERRY chants. Shelley does all these flips and twists and Lynn just stands there and watches him until he stops so he can throw a hold on him. That was hilarious. I love when people do that.
One of my favorite moments ever was just after Joe debuted he was fighting Puma and Puma went up top for this big flip and Joe just took a step to the side and let him crash. Why over complicate things? This has been more or less ALL old guys so far. Shelley spits water in his face to take over. West declares that you can’t prance. Good to know.
Heat grabbing 101 (missed tag) allows more beatings on Lynn. Backlund storms the ring and just beats the tar out of everyone in sight. And then Nash comes in to kick Backlund in the head to set up the AS/CS Rush for the pin on Jerry. Now remember boys and girls, as good as they are, they’re not allowed to win the tag titles.
Rating: C-. Entertaining, but again I ask, so what? This put the focus on Nash more than anything else. I just do not get the point in doing this ending other than to protect the old guys and let the new guys say they won. It’s either really basic or really stupid and I’m leaning towards the second given the track record here.
From Genesis 2007 for a major showdown.
Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns
It’s the second brawl on the ramp to start the match tonight. The Guns take over with their speed early on and bust out some nifty double teaming stuff. The Dudleys start to walk off and then go after the announcers for a bit. Ok back to the match with Bubba vs. Sabin in the first official pairing of the match. A slick hurricanrana sends Ray into Shelley and Ray is frustrated. Off to D-Von who gets two off a side slam/legdrop combo.
Sabin literally dives into a tag to Shelley who fires off some strikes to take over. Ray breaks up some double teaming and D-Von takes over on Alex for a bit. Some chinlocking is broken up by an enziguri but he can’t make the tag. Ray comes in and the guy is pretty awesome as an evil jerk. Ray challenges D-Von to see who can hit Shelley harder. Now that’s just mean.
Back to that chinlock which D-Von could at least flex on. Shelley gets a big old kick in and both guys are down. There’s your hot tag and Sabin cleans at least the basement and ground floor. Tornado DDT gets two on D-Von. As the Guns double team D-Von, Ray shouts in encouragement. “Come on D-Von! Come on! OH MY GOD!” That last part was when the Guns hit a dropkick to send him to the floor.
This actually is pretty solid stuff, mainly as the Guns are very exciting to watch. A rana sets up a frog splash for two. Ray comes back in and kills both of them with a double clothesline. Hey Alex, What’s Up? It’s Table Time and I don’t get why. Do they think they’ll get away with it? Even the Dudleys aren’t that stupid. The Guns take over again and the High Low gets two. Ray grabs his belt and whips Sabin with it a little.
Dudleyville Device gets two. A table is set up in the corner but Sabin walks up the table and backflips to the ring (think Bryan in the corner but much faster and impressive looking). D-Von is sent through the table but that isn’t a DQ for no apparent reason. The Guns hit their series of kicks to Ray and we’re done.
Rating: B. Entertaining match here, odd rule choices aside. This was power vs. speed and you really don’t need to do much more than that most of the time. The matches are almost always fun and this was exactly that. This would lead into a months long feud which eventually incorporated Johnny Devine and Jay Lethal over the X-Title. It would also result in a fish market street fight but we’ve covered that before.
Time to start chasing the titles at Turning Point 2008.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
One of the taglines things is will the Guns finally get the titles. Oh that’s rich. Neither team has their current music so things are just ridiculously bland. Again they mention the Guns possibly winning the titles. Wow that’s funny. So despite acting like heels in the back, they of course act like faces here. Could the psychology have been more messed up in TNA around this time?
The challengers of course are all over the place and getting a ton of damage in on Storm. Shelley reminds me of Miz a bit looks wise. ALL Guns here as Shelley hits a Lionsault for two. The champions take over as I think we’re going to be in for a long while here. Storm puts on his hat which of course makes him fail.
I love the missing the tag thing which is as basic as possible of a tag cheating tactic but it works every time and is perfectly legal. Shelley hits a combination Downward Spiral/DDT to get enough time for the hot tag to Sabin. The crowd is uncommonly quiet here. Dang the Guns are fun to watch.
Storm has been gone for a LONG time. It’s a double team clinic from the Guns here and they’re completely dominating. Storm comes back in and botches what is now Madison Rayne’s move. The big Tower of Doom spot does nothing special at all as they kind of just fall backwards. ASCS Rush to Roode but here’s Jackie of course because we have to have the annoying pest in there once at least. Storm spits Beer in Sabin’s eyes so that DWI can keep the belts for Beer Money. Yes the Guns lose again. Film at 11.
Rating: B-. Not bad here. This was another one of those matches where they let them do their thing and it worked for the most part, but at times the Guns’ offense gets so ridiculous that it’s a waste of time and takes away the point of it. Not bad, but nothing classic, as we’ll get to those later.
Due to the DVD clipping some of the matches, we’ll jump to Turning Point 2009.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Motor City Machineguns
The Brits (Williams and Magnus) have the titles here. They’re heels and Beer Money are faces….I think. They won a match on Impact to get here. No clue on the Guns but they’re faces also. Storm vs. Magnus to start as Storm jumps him to control early. Roode comes in quickly and it’s off to Shelley. Backbreaker gets two for Roode as we get the usual solid stuff from these teams.
They chop it out but Shelley hits the floor and takes Roode’s leg out. Off to Sabin who comes in with a hilo and they speed things up a bit. Williams makes a blind tag which is rather smart when you think about it. Sabin and Williams have a nice gymnastics routine (thankfully minus the tutus) and it’s off to Shelley. The Guns get to show off which they do rather well to say the least.
Sabin comes back in and the fans chant USA. I would love Beer Money to get all fired up and say they love America more than the Guns and have it fire them up. Why can only faces be patriotic? The Brits take over on Sabin but Beer Money comes in for the save. They shout their representative names in the title of their team, only for the Guns to get a blind tag of their own.
We get a bad oral sex joke with the Brits as this breaks down just for a bit. The Guns take over and everyone beats on Magnus. Williams tries a backslide on Sabin but Shelly gets a superkick to break it up. Sliced Bread (I love that name) can’t connect as Shelly is caught in a nice superkick (why does EVERYONE use that move anymore) German suplex combo. Take that USA fans!
Beer Money takes over on the Brits now as they might as well put up a big sign saying BRITS WILL RETAIN. Maybe I’m jaded but as soon as they get beaten down this much it’s clear they’re going to get the come from behind win. And as I say that, here’s Eric Young, the leader of World Elite of which the Brits are members. Storm chases him off and Kevin Nash of all people comes out to stop Young. Ah apparently he wants the Global (now TV) Title back. Nash takes it….and hits Storm to join World Elite. In the ring a Hart Attack with a jumping back elbow instead of a clothesline and off the top ends this.
Rating: C-. Match wasn’t bad but at the same time it was kind of a mess at times. The Nash turn came off as unnecessary to put it mildly as it really didn’t add anything to the match and felt like the whole point of things rather than the match itself, as the point is supposed to be. Not bad, but a bit too sloppy for my tastes.
We hit the spotfest at Destination X 2010.
Ultimate X: Motor City Machine Guns vs. Generation Me
You think this could be awesome? Yeah me too. Penzer screws up a bit on his opening line. Ok one is Max and one is Jeremy. I’ll never remember that but whatever. BIG pop for the Guns. Seriously, how have these two never been tag champions? This is Sabin’s 13th Ultimate X match out of 20 that have happened. That’s INSANE. The Guns immediately hit the corners which is rather stupid but whatever.
Don’t expect a ton of play by play or criticism over psychology here. It’s just not going to happen. In a painful looking spot, One of the Bucks gets their hair pulled around the structure. FREAKING OW MAN! Ok Max has the headband. Got it. I think we got a Team 3D chant in there. Why? What the freaking hell? Who cares as Shelley hits a sweet looking dive to shut the fans up.
There is little more fun to see than precision double teaming. That’s what the golden age of tag wrestling was predicated on and these guys bring that back. Jeremy is freaking entertaining. He hits a springboard modified X-Factor and immediately hits a moonsault to the floor. Sweetness. They do something smart and say no replays until the match is over. That’s a good idea.
Jeremy gets up on the X but Sabin makes the stop. Shelley actually tickles Jeremy to knock him down. Well whatever works I guess. The fans think this is awesome. Now if only they were paying to see it. Everyone goes on one part of the X and they all do the leg hook thing but everyone falls. Kick-o-rama begins and it’s sweet. The speed of these guys is epic.
In a SWEET spot, Max is in the Tree of Woe and Jeremy takes a belly to belly into him. And in a STUPID move, the Guns unhook Max. Seriously, why in the world would you do that? It makes NO sense. One guy is on the floor and the other is stuck in the corner. One guy plays guard and the other goes up. Whatever though as we got a cool double team out of it. Sabin and Jeremy go up but down comes Jeremy and the Guns win it!
Rating: A-. Just a sweet match here. Much like the TLC matches, this wasn’t about wrestling but about high flying spectacles which is just fine. These are designed to have the guys showcase themselves and that’s what they did here. Very fun match and worth finding a copy of for sure.
Time for the big showdown with Beer Money, starting on Victory Road 2010.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Ok so the Guns more or less have to win here. I like the Guns’ music. Storm and Shelley start us off. They’re doing a slow build to start us off as Taz says the Guns are the best team from their city, including the Tigers. Uh, deep? We get a Mel Torme reference of all things as we’re talking about tap dancing. Beer Money takes over and after a double vertical suplex they do their thing.
Shelley is getting beaten on. This is a good match so far so it’s hard to make jokes. Well other than Taz and Tenay who are always jokes. Ah there’s Sabin. I like him better than Shelley I think. We crank it up a bit and Sabin hits a running punt on Storm while he’s on the apron and Storm is on the floor. The crowd is getting back into it a bit too. Eye of the Storm gets two on Sabin.
I’m sorry for the excessive play by play here but that’s the main thing going on here. That made less than no sense but just go with it. We’ve lost any resemblance of a tag match here as it’s just all insanity. Maybe Heyman is booking the company. Everything just goes insane and this is awesome for once. The Guns dominate as Storm has a beer bottle. The referee gets beer spit in his face as the Guns hit a combination splash/neckbreaker on Roode for two.
There’s another referee here now and I have a bad feeling about this. It’s ALL Guns here as we’re going fast paced here. They hit their kick combination and cover Roode as Storm rolls Sabin up. The referees count a double pin and it’s Dusty Finish time. Earl, not the original referee, says restart it. The Guns win in like a minute with the same thing they did earlier, making the restart TOTALLY POINTLESS. Very good match though so I can’t complain much.
Rating: A-. This was a VERY good match. The main thing holding it back is the restart which was the walking definition of overbooking. What in the world is that supposed to help? Whatever it was I certainly don’t get it. The Guns are the champions, albeit nearly three years later. Still though, if they’re going to win them, at least win them in a classic I guess. Very good match all the way through. Loved it.
Off to TV for a match in the EPIC best of five series with Beer Money. From Impact, July 29, 2010.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Technically this is a title match but not really. Screw it as it makes the show sound better. The Guns climb in over the back of the cage to get an early advantage. Roode is busted open early and we’re tagging in a cage match. I’ve always hated that. They’re flying around and there’s little flow to it. They’re going with the tag match in a cage instead of tag team cage match, which is fine.
Taz says Beer Money has the lead in the series in his opinion. I’m pretty sure they have it in reality too Taz. Sabin hits the hesitation dropkick which is awesome. Shelley hits a top rope double stomp which is always a dangerous as all goodness bump to me. Storm hits an elevated Backstabber as this match is pretty solid. Everyone other than Sabin goes for the escapt but they all come down.
Sabin does a cross body off the top to take down Beer Money in a cool spot. Storm gets the beer bottle from somewhere and cracks it over the head of Roode by mistake. The Guns hit their finisher to take over and get to pick the match next week which they’ll win to set up the final match later on.
Rating: B. Solid match here but at just 10 minutes or so it needed more. These matches have been good but having one a week is just kind of overkill of it. I get it: the matches are great, but it would be nice to have a point to them and have matches where the winners aren’t completely predictable. Also: the Guns are now 1-2 as tag champions.
And the finals of the series on Impact, August 12, 2010.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
This is 2/3 falls. I’ll give TNA this: when they find something that works, they RUN with it. Shelley and Roode start us off and the crowd is WAY behind Shelley. The Guns do their usual insane speed stuff which is always cool looking. Roode does the old classic heel tactic of slapping his hands to convince the ref that there was a tag. It doesn’t work but it’s always awesome.
Sabin breaks through the endless domination of the heels as the fans are just getting irritating. NICE (I think) double team spot from the Guns as we get a downward spiral combined with a DDT and a missile dropkick. Roode takes Sabin’s head off with a big boot and the Guns clear the ring. Back in the ring a Backstabber sets up DWI on Shelley to make it 1-0 Beer Money.
Never a fan of challengers getting clean pins in the first fall of a 2/3 match. It makes the champions look like they lost completely clean. Nice double dropkick by Sabin to clean house again. The splash/neckbreaker ties it up after about two minutes. That move needs a name.
Roode does a HUGE dive over the ropes which they screw up by changing the camera at the last second. After a break it’s more even fighting. This has been a great match. Sabin hits a springboard DDT on Roode which I loved. Granted that might be because the DDT is my favorite move. Both teams hit a sweet double team sequence.
Sliced Bread #2 is countered as is DWI. Last Call superkick ends Roode and the double team combo DOESN’T get the pin on Storm. I would have bet on that ending it. Another one does in fact end it though, which is a bit anticlimactic but still, GREAT match here, although just a step behind the initial win at the PPV. Still though, great match.
Rating: A. This was indeed a great match but it makes me wonder where they’re going to go now that these two have fought so many times now. This is more about a back and forth insanity pitch rather than psychology or storytelling and that’s fine a lot of the time, especially in tags. This was very entertaining and the false finish was great for drama. These two teams have insane chemistry and this was no exception at all. Great match and well worth finding, although most of their matches are.
Time to defend the things against ANYONE else, starting at No Surrender 2010.
Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machine Guns
Ok so apparently London Brawling isn’t here so this is your replacement. Shelley and Jeremy start us off with some very nifty mat work. Shelley is in shorts here which is a weird look on him. Taz implies the challengers have an attitude now, which probably means a heel turn. Apparently Generation Me are Christian athletes. Nothing wrong with that, but interesting that this comes up just around the time they turn heel.
The fans call them the Bucks of course because they have to be smart right? Oh wait that’s the last name of Gen Me here right? It is as we prove again how stupid the name Generation Me is. Young Bucks is hardly a bad name. Shelley with a reverse Boston Crab into a surfboard. They’ve both been in there the whole time and just as I say that Sabin comes in.
We crank it up as Max hits an INSANE backflip into a Diamond Cutter. Neckbreaker on Shelly on the apron and Shelly may have a bad neck now. It turns into a gymnastics routine, which is always fun if nothing else. These are perfect choices for openers as they’re very exciting and gets the crowd going. I’d prefer them in the middle of the show though as they can breathe life into the show later if things start to drag.
The ring looks a bit smaller than usual here for some reason. Sabin gets the hot tag and it’s on again. Springboard Tornado DDT gets two. Cue R-Truth’s opening line as this is the part where we crank it up. Sabin and Max slug it out in the ring and another tornado DDT is blocked. Gen Me kick the heck out of Shelley and set up for More Bang For Your Buck. In a very innovative counter, Jeremy goes for a superkick but Shelley grabs it and throws the foot into Max’s head. Skull and Bones end it clean.
Rating: B. Solid opener as always between these two. They know how to just make things exciting and fire up the crowd, which is always a great thing to see in the opener. The Guns are without a doubt the best team in the world today and highlight the division about as well as anyone can. Very fast paced match that has me wanting to see the rest of the show.
And again at Turning Point 2010.
Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Motor City Machine Guns
After a lot of standing around looking at each other, D-Von and Shelley start. Pre-match handshake is always nice to see. They start with some technical/mat stuff and not a lot is going on so far. Dueling chants begin. We’re told that Dreamer, Raven and Tazz started the Dudley Boys which is only technically true as the Dudley Family, who didn’t start off as Bubba and D-Von, were based on the brothers from the movie Slapshot. Ah ok they mention that at least.
They get to say Dudley Boys here which is surprising. Sabin vs. Bubba now. Big boot cuts the head off of the small one. Back to the starters now with the Guns in control. Shelly might have hurt his knee off a top rope move but his knee seems to be ok as it gets worked on by Bubba. They’re going for the big match here and it’s working to an extent.
Back off to Sabin now and some modified Poetry in Motion and double teaming sends the Dudleys to the floor. Sabin misses a dive though and eats floor. Bubba goes into the post and DIVES under the ring. Shockingly when he comes back up he’s busted open. The fans want tables. Shelley bends Bubba’s fingers back which is a freaking ow move if there ever has been one.
They’re trying to make the Guns wrestle heel here because this is a rather stupid company. Top rope Batista Bomb gets two on Sabin. Nice one there. Bubba’s facial expressions are kind of funny. Shelley kicks D-Von while he’s on the apron to a few boos. Sabin and D-Von both come in off hot tags as the cranking up thing here isn’t really happening.
Sabin gets beaten down for awhile while the other two are on the floor. D-Von catches Poetry in Motion and throws Shelley onto Sabin which was cool. All Dudleys here as D-Von hits the top rope headbutt on Shelley for two as Sabin makes the save. What’s Up hits and it’s table time. This version is in the corner if you’re curious. HUGE table chant.
As per the laws of table usage, the person that set it up, Bubba in this case, goes into it. Skull and Bones hits D-Von for only two. That gets kicked out of every time. 3D to Sabin but it only gets two as Sabin kicks out. That’s not something you ever see so I can give it points there. Skull and Bones to Bubba end it soon afterwards to set up the big send off.
Rating: C+. They were going for the big and epic match here and didn’t really get there. This was good but at the same time it’s just another title win for the Guns, which is the right move at least. I don’t buy them leaving at all but that’s neither here nor there. This wasn’t a classic but it was by far the best match of the night so far.
One more time with the Bucks at Final Resolution 2010.
Tag Titles: Generation Me vs. Motor City Machineguns
I still can’t believe that there are no more challengers other than these guys. This is Full Metal Mayhem, which according to Gen Me before this match is the final match in this rivalry. Don’t you have to beat the other team once to make it a rivalry? The fight is on before the Guns even make it to the ring. Don’t expect much play by play here due to the large amount of stuff going on here.
Jeremy with a slingshot X Factor to take out Sabin and in one movement he hits the apron and takes out Shelley with a moonsault. Sweet spot. Sabin and Jeremy are left in the ring. Gen Me goes for the first ladder but of course gets it sent into their faces as they’re trying to bring it into the ring. Once it’s finally in the ring Jeremy does the ladder ride down onto Shelley.
Gen Me almost gets to the belts until they realize the belts are too high up in the air. Nice job guys. Granted that might have been on purpose. Shelley takes out the knee of Max. The Guns are in control and are mostly dominant here. Sabin goes up but there goes the ladder and he hits the top rope on the way down. The fans want tables….again. Some indy company should raffle off a table once and see how big of a pop they get.
The ladders get laid over Gen Me and then Sabin puts chairs over those. Shelly gets a double stomp off the top to drive everything into them. That looked pretty awesome. Shelly goes up the ladder but he too can’t reach the belts. Their solution is to bring in more ladders for some reason. Taz isn’t sure what that’s going to accomplish either. Gen Me gets up and it’s a big brawl again.
Alex sets up a table as I have a bad feeling that I know where this is going. And I’m wrong. I was thinking they were going to put a ladder on the table but they put the table on the ladders like a scaffold so that they can stand on the top and have some actual balance rather than standing on the top of a ladder. That makes a lot of sense.
Then Sabin realizes he can’t climb the ladders with the table on top. This is a work in progress I suppose. The Guns bring in another table and realize that’s not going to work either. Max puts Sabin on the table and spits on him like a truly evil man. Shelly manages to get Sliced Bread on Jeremy through a table to the floor. Sabin and Jeremy get up to the table scaffold and have a chair duel. Sabin wins that and Jeremy goes through the table to allow Sabin to grab the belts to retain.
Rating: B+. This was definitely fun. It’s not up to the original TLC matches but it was definitely good. The ending was creative which is always a good thing. It was ahead of most MITB matches also. This was good like you would expect it to be, but at the same time was there ever any real doubt to the Guns retaining the belts? I never thought there was at least. Still though, fun stuff.
Injuries and singles runs would stop the team for a good while. Here’s their last major match at Lockdown 2012.
Tag Titles: Motorcity Machineguns vs. Magnus/Samoa Joe
The Guns have generic music to start but their regular theme starts during their walk to the ring. Methinks that was a glitch. You can win by pin, submission or escape for the rest of the matches. Magnus and Shelley start things off. Things speed way up to start and Magnus gets a clothesline for two. Sabin gets a blind tag and a pair of kicks get two. Off to Joe who is too fat for Sabin to run over.
A crucifix into a sunset flip doesn’t really work either so let’s try a dropkick. That at least slows Joe down and it’s off to Shelley. Back to Magnus who gets caught in a pinball series of punches. Magnus comes back and manages a fallaway slam to throw Sabin into Shelley in a cool spot. Back to Joe who pounds Sabin down to give us a face in peril. I think he’s in peril to another face but you get the idea.
The champions double team Sabin to keep him in the ring including a big boot to set up a backsplash for two. Magnus hooks a chinlock but Chris comes back with a jawbreaker to get out. A spinning spinebuster puts Sabin right back down and it’s off to Joe again. Snap suplex gets two. Sabin grabs a tornado DDT while climbing up Magnus and is able to make the tag. Shelley comes in but even that doesn’t wake this crowd up.
Sliced Bread is broken up but Sabin powerbombs Joe out of the corner. Magnus is knocked off the top and a top rope double stomp gets two for Shelley. A move I think called the elevated Hero’s Welcome gets two on Magnus. Skull and Bones is broken up and Sabin is caught in the Clutch. Sliced Bread hits Magnus and Joe has to break up the choke to make the save. The champions’ finisher misses so Sabin hooks up a rear naked choke on Joe. Magnus hits a kind of Michinoku Driver on Shelley and Joe runs out of the corner, dropping Sabin on Shelley. The snapmare/elbow gets the pin on Shelley at 11:19.
Rating: B-. This started really slow but once they stopped the tagging it got a lot more exciting. I definitely agree with the champions retaining here as there’s nothing for the Guns to do in this division anymore. Having them as something like Beer Money for the last year they were together would be a much better spot for them which is something they could do now.
I really don’t think the Guns need that much of an explanation. They’re just great no matter how you look at them and were one of the most precise tag teams you’ll ever see. There’s always a place for a team that just fires off offense so fast while thinking as one. It was cool with the Rockers and Midnight Express did it and it’s still cool here.
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I just got done with the fairly lame Best of Beer Money and Motor City Machine Guns so I figured I’d take my own shot at them. We’ll start with Beer Money.
I’ll be skipping the matches on the DVD to avoid making you read them again. And no this isn’t meant to be a Best Of before you ask.
We’ll start things off in the early days of the team, back at Victory Road 2008.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX
Jackie stays in the back thank goodness. Ah ok Beer Money beat on LAX in an Impact match where afterwards they tied them up and hit them with belts. I found that on Wikipedia so there you go. That’s the crack TNA recapping staff for you. The fans with the straps are all wearing LAX shirts so you can figure out what’s going to happen here. Hector Guerrero is with them and has a massive sombrero. He looks IDENTICAL to Eddie.
So Beer Money are challengers, have no fans on the floor, and don’t have their manager. This is perfectly logical. Roode gets slapped by the straps a lot and runs to Storm. This is SO riveting. Homicide doesn’t get whipped and steals some of Storm’s beer. Why are girls so often called gals? Is one more letter so hard to say? I’ve never seen the genius that Homicide allegedly is in the ring. Storm runs under the ring in kind of a funny bit.
Homicide hits Three Amigos to get an Eddie chant going. Beer Money hit a Hart Attack in a nice move. Storm doesn’t let go of the legs and puts on a Boston Crab in a nice move. That was my issue with the Hart Attack: Anvil never really did much. We get a hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house.
This just isn’t interesting at all for some reason. It’s just happening and I’m not really caring about it at all. Hernandez’s power is insane at times. He hits a top rope splash on Roode where the referee counts three since Storm misses his cue. They just say it’s two anyway but whatever. A Doomsday Device ending with a Diamond Cutter ends it for LAX.
Rating: D+. So? That’s the only thing I can think of to say. The faces win a match they were supposed to win and there’s no point to this feud anymore. This just wasn’t worth much at all as the straps were all to beat up Beer Money and the whole match just made LAX look even stronger. What’s the point of that? And why didn’t Roode even try to buy some of them off?
From soon after, at Hard Justice 2008.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. LAX
The same rapper from earlier sings LAX to the ring. Well this does result in Salinas shaking her hips so it’s not all bad. Beer Money beat up Homicide on Impact and hurt his eye. Roode vs. SuperMex gets us going officially but there’s enough double teaming that it’s hard to tell for sure. Storm gets beaten up too and takes a 30 second delayed vertical suplex. Hernandez is scary strong.
Storm heads to the floor and Hernandez hits a huge dive to take Beer Money out. Homicide comes in to beat on Roode in revenge for the eye injury. Storm spits beer at Homicide to blind him and take over. They work over the eye and the neck a bit with Storm pounding away at it. The bandage is off. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Roode gets two. The challengers hit a double suplex and shout their names.
An Orton elevated DDT gets two. Off to one of the least convincing chinlocks I’ve ever seen from Storm. It looks like he’s cuddling Homicide. Roode uses Three Amigos to some solid heel heat but really gets them mad by slapping his chest. A frog splash misses and both guys are down. Hernandez claps for Homicide and has some small hands. There’s the hot tag and it’s time for power moves.
Beer Money double teams him to get him down and the blockbuster gets two. SuperMex hits a double clothesline and tags Homicide in again which is probably not all that smart. He hits a frog splash of his own for two as Storm kicks out. The tagging aspect has been forgotten here. Roode hits his spinebuster and Storm hits a Backstabber to the back of Hernandez.
The champs are both down in the ring and Beer Money is on the floor. Hernandez uses Homicide as a missile and Border Tosses him on top of Beer Money. Salinas and Jackie fight on the floor and the distraction lets Roode break a beer bottle over Homicide’s eye for the easy pin by Storm for the titles.
Rating: B. Another good match from Beer Money as they know how to use a tag team formula as well as almost any modern team. LAX is a team I never got the universal appeal of but they were pretty good here. The eye injury was a good help to the story for the most part and we got a solid match out of it. Good stuff.
From the biggest show of the year: Bound For Glory 2008.
Tag Team Titles: Beer Money Inc. vs. Matt Morgan/Abyss vs. Team 3D vs. LAX
Beer Money (Roode and Storm, managed by Jacqueline) are defending, this is Monster’s Ball and Steve Mongo McMichael is guest referee. Storm is wearing a hat with two beers attached in a somewhat funny bit. Abyss has a story going on here as he’s been in therapy to stop using weapons. Everyone gangs up on the champions to start before it breaks off into a slow paced brawl. LAX works over Storm in the ring with Hernandez catapulting him into a Homicide clothesline.
Roode comes in to try and save his partner but Hernandez knocks him out to the floor. Homicide hits his flip dive through the ropes, setting up a big plancha from Hernandez. Ray nails Hernandez with a trashcan lid in the aisle as Homicide elbows D-Von in the jaw. It’s fork time and D-Von’s head gets carved up. The monsters finally get involved as Abyss comes in for Shock Treatment on Homicide.
Ray hits Abyss low with a cheese grater before slicing Abyss’ skin open. Ray of course licks the cheese grater because he’s a bit sick. It’s Hernandez back in now but Ray runs him over and nails a splash in the corner. A superplex drops Hernandez and Ray’s delayed cover gets one. Roode comes back in with a Blockbuster and a VERY slow two count. We get our first taste of Matt Morgan who suplexes both champions before loading up Old School on Roode. Storm charges back in so Morgan dives over Roode for a cross body.
D-Von plants Roode but gets chokeslammed by Abyss. He loads up one on Roode as well but Storm distracts him with the bag of tacks. McMichael takes the bag away for no apparent reason so Storm puts on his beer football helmet. He challenges McMichael (a former NFL player) to get in a three point stance. Roode has a football from somewhere and they actually hike it with Steve running Roode over with a clothesline. Homicide covers and MAN ALIVE does Mongo count slow.
The fans want tables but get a huge dive off the top with Morgan taking everyone out in a huge crash. Team 3D singles out Abyss with various trashcan related objects. Ray finds a staple gun to go after Abyss’ cut forehead. Abyss fights back until Team 3D lackey Johnny Devine comes out with a kendo stick to slow the monster down. D-Von and Devine load up a table in front of the stage…and we have lighter fluid. Devine lights it up and a double chokeslam puts Abyss through the table. I believe that was on TNA highlight reels for a long time.
Morgan chases Roode back to ringside but he walks right into a Last Call from Storm. Beer Money celebrates but Hernandez nails them with a kendo stick. Team 3D is nowhere in sight for some reason so Homicide dropkicks both champions down. Storm dives into a sitout powerbomb from Hernandez but Mongo’s slow count means it’s only two. Hernandez plants Roode and Homicide’s top rope splash gets the same. The Gringo Cutter plants Storm but Jacqueline breaks up the count at two because she can’t just go away.
The Carbon Footprint nails Hernandez but Homicide rolls out of the Hellevator. Team 3D crawls out from whatever hole they fell into and call for the tables, only to get blasted by Hernandez. He sets up a table in the ring and pours the tacks on top for good measure. Ray pops back up and the 3D puts Hernandez through the table, but Storm spits beer in D-Von’s face, allowing Roode to steal the pin to retain the titles.
Rating: B-. I liked the match more than I thought I would and it’s definitely a step up over some versions of this match they’ve had over the years. The champions stealing the pin was a good thing and the big men doing crazy high spots worked. McMichael has somehow managed to be useless as both a wrestler and a referee, which is pretty impressive when you think about it. Even Danny Davis had some value.
We’ll skip over 2009 to avoid the DVD content and pick things up at Genesis 2010.
Kevin Nash/Syxx-Pac vs. Beer Money
Penzer’s mic cuts up a lot during the announcement of the Band. Hall and Pac need to leave soon. They’re just not worth anything anymore, not when there are so many young guys that can do their thing just as well. THANK GOODNESS there’s no beer wagon there or whatever for Storm to ride on. I hate that thing. Still not entirely sold on Beer Money but they’re not terrible at all.
Pac and Storm, who looks a bit like Shane Douglas in the eyes to me, start us off. Nash comes in and thankfully he manages to not get injured yet. Pac isn’t bad, which I think is because they’re keeping him away from the bigger guys. I’ve never been able to get into him vs. a big man. It just never worked at all for me. I freaking hate the Bronco Buster. Have I made that clear over the years?
Hall eventually stumbles out, having lost the rock paper scissors game that they keep bringing up. And Hall randomly pulls a fan over the railing and kicks his head in. In the ring Nash gets caught by presumably a superkick although we can’t see it and Roode pins him. Thank goodness there as I really thought they would have it go the other way.
Rating: C+. Not bad at all here, but again it was nothing special. Beer Money winning was a HUGE positive here and really does relieve a lot of my worries here. The match wasn’t terrible but it’s nothing great. The whole show has just been ok from a wrestling standpoint, which isn’t good as this is supposed to be all top level matches right?
Rating: B-. This was a more fun match than the rest of them. While it was still hard to follow it was less difficult than the other matches. This lack of tagging thing is something I’m having issues getting used to. Either way, there was more of a flow here and I had a better idea of what was going on which is certainly a good thing.
Back to America for a quick TV match against a team you may have heard of. From Impact, July 15, 2010.
Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns
This is the first match in a best of 5 series: a ladder match. It’s not for the titles or anything like that. The winner gets to pick the next stipulation. The Guns being introduced as champions is indeed a cool sounding thing though. I love double suicide dives. This is a total mess. I know it’s a ladder match but come on now.
It’s not particularly bad or anything, but this is an hour into the show (no Nash and it’s 10pm) and it’s yet another gimmick match. Sabin misses a rung for a run up the ladder so it slows things down a bit. Shelley gets a great shot with a ladder to Roode’s knee. Storm hits a Backstabber on Shelley as this is just a big mess. Again it’s not horrible but it feels like a ladder match for the sake of having a ladder match.
After more insanity we have a ref bump. Well what would a match be without that? Sabin gets up the ladder and gets the contract but Storm pops him with the beer bottle. The referee that was down (there were two and yet they managed to have a Dusty Finish) sees Storm with the contract and gives them the win. Yep, they jobbed the Guns four days after they won the belts. Well at least they managed to get one cool intro.
Rating: C+. I’m split here. The match is certainly entertaining and I’m not arguing that at all. However it felt like a massive mess of a match with more or less no psychology at all. This felt like having a ladder match for the sake of having a ladder match which is against the idea of gimmick matches in the first place. It’s definitely entertaining and a good match, but it could have been MUCH more which is what hurts it.
Rating: A-. Another great match from these guys which is likely going to be the match of the night so far. I don’t have an issue with the Guns losing here as they held the titles for the better part of ever, but can we PLEASE get some fresh blood in this division so we can have a fresh matchup? Yes this is great, but we’ve seen what, 7 matches between them in a few months? Give us something new before this gets stale.
Rating: C+. This was just there for the most part. It wasn’t great at all but it wasn’t bad. Like I said: just kind of there. The total lack of story hurt it a lot which is due to the booking and not the guys. This wasn’t bad but it was really not interesting at all. Granted that might be Shannon Moore.
One more match before the eventual split. From Hardcore Justice 2011.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America
TNA named them that so don’t yell at me for it. Remember that Roode has a bad shoulder and Storm hurt his back on Thursday. Anarquia complains about not being able to have the flag hang from the ceiling anymore so they brought their own. Roode vs. Hernandez to start. It’s officially Bobby now I guess. Roode hits the ropes a few times and takes him down with a jumping forearm.
Off to Storm for some double teaming. His back is talked about but it seems fine. Back to Roode whose arm seems fine as well. Anarquia tries a clothesline but gets caught in a Fujiwara Armbar which gets broken up by Hernandez quickly. Storm and Anarquia in at the moment with Storm getting a clothesline for two. Storm likes the clothesline as he uses one to send Hernandez to the floor.
Roode tosses Storm over the top to land on Anarquia. Off to Roode officially and he gets caught in the corner of the challengers. More double teaming by the heels follow. Nothing of note at all here as it’s been pretty dull and pedestrian. Hernandez chokes a bit and takes Roode down with a big shoulder.
Anarquia gets a butterfly suplex for two. Hernandez comes back in and walks into the Double R Spinebuster which makes no sense now as his name is Bobby again but whatever. Not really a fair comparison because Taker was still called Taker when he was a biker. Hot tag to Storm as the fans are DEAD. DDT gets no cover on Hernandez. Double suplex takes the big bald dude down and it’s time to SHOUT OUR NAMES!!!
Storm puts Anarquia on the top and smacks him before snapping off a hurricanrana. Big splash off the top gets two for Roode. Hernandez snaps off the slingshot shoulder block for two on Storm. Anarquia is up top and tries to dive onto Storm but Roode shoves him right into the superkick for Beer Money to retain…again.
Rating: C. Match was again just ok but at the same time, what are they waiting for with Beer Money? They’ve already had the longest title reign in the history of the belts and they’ve beaten everyone that there is to beat. Knowing TNA they’ll just hand the titles to part of Immortal but whatever. They need to drop the titles but I have no idea who they could do that to. The back injury was never mentioned and Storm looked fine.
The team would break up a few months later and spent years feuding. Here they are joining forces for a one night only reunion on Impact, April 24, 2014.
James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner
Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”
Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.
Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.
As is usually the case, TNA tag teams are far better than most WWE teams. Beer Money may not be the best tag team the company has ever produced (still AMW) but they were as good as we were going to get in this era. They just worked well together and there’s almost nothing you can do to top that. Check them out if you somehow haven’t before.
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Best of Motor City Machine Guns: I Don’t Think That Word Means What You Think It Means
Best of Motor City Machine Guns Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz, Don West
Host: Jeremy Borash
On the other side of the spectrum from the technical brawlers of Beer Money, we have the fast paced high fliers in the Guns. This is one of the most popular teams the company has ever had, but unfortunately just like the other set, a lot of great stuff happened after this was filmed. This actually includes a lot of singles stuff too. Let’s get to it.
Borash does a quick intro to try and tie this into the Beer Money part, even though it’s completely separate.
The Guns talk about how great the tag team division is in TNA right now.
Brutus Magnus vs. Chris Sabin
From Against All Odds 2009 and Magnus is issuing an open challenge. This is when Magnus was a Roman gladiator, based on his character on the UK show Gladiators. This was referenced by Tenay except for one thing: he never actually said what Gladiators actually was. That’s kind of important to mention no? Magnus easily shoves him down to start as the fans chant USA. They stay on the mat with Magnus holding a horrible armbar until Sabin fights up for a kick to the ribs. He escapes a gorilla press and goes after the legs until Magnus just ends him with a clothesline.
A delayed vertical suplex gets no cover on Sabin but a slingshot elbow has him in trouble. After a chinlock goes nowhere, Sabin fights up and nails a springboard clothesline for two. He tries to get too fast though and has his hurricanrana countered with a powerbomb. Magnus misses a charge and falls to the floor, only to get taken down by a big plancha. Back in and Magnus grabs the referee, earning him a shove into the ropes to crotch Sabin. Tormentum (a spinning Samoan drop) is enough to give Magnus the pin.
Rating: D+. That’s how you open a DVD about how great the Guns are? With a dull match ending in a loss? The gladiator character really didn’t do much for me and Magnus would be far more interesting once he just became a British guy. I still can’t get over this loss though. What’s the thinking here?
The Guns talk about having experience all over the world and how it’s made them a stronger team.
X-Division Title: Alex Shelley vs. Eric Young
Also from Against All Odds 2009 and Shelley is defending. For some reason they aired these matches out of order, meaning that this match was spoiled by the commentary in the previous match. Alexis is the villain here here and Eric hammers away to start before clotheslining him out to the floor. They keep trading places with no contact until Alex gets dropkicked off the apron, setting up a slingshot plancha from Young.
Shelley comes right back by sending Eric into the barricade, only to be sent into it as well. That’s fine with Alex though as he sidesteps a dive, sending Eric into the steel a second time. Back in and Alex kicks him out of the air before putting on a bow and arrow hold. A top rope knee to the back has Young in even more trouble as they head out to the apron.
Alex tries a catapult out there but can’t send Young anywhere. He can however duck a charge, sending Young crashing over the post. Back in and Shelley nails some running elbows to the face and a low dropkick for two. Off to a cobra clutch for a few moments before Young grabs a quick flapjack to get a breather. A discus lariat gets two for Eric but Alex hits a top rope jawbreaker of all things. Young’s Death Valley Driver is countered but he nails a springboard Fameasser for two.
The champ avoids a moonsault and nails what would become known as Sister Abigail for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 gets the same and Shelley takes him up top. Young tries to counter but winds up eating a Mysterio sitout bulldog, followed by a nice Frog Splash for an even closer two. They head back up again with Eric countering something into a hot shot onto the buckle. For some reason Young stops to argue with the referee, allowing Shelley to grab a rollup to retain.
Rating: C. Not bad here but Young barely got in any offense after the first few minutes. It wound up being an extended squash with an odd ending, as Young didn’t even cover before he went over to yell at the referee for no apparent reason. It’s not a bad match or anything but it was oddly worked.
The Guns name the Midnight Express as their greatest influence and say they have to rely on their minds rather than their physical abilities.
Steel Asylum
Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Curry Man, Jimmy Rave, Jay Lethal, Johnny Devine, Petey Williams, Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt, Super Eric
From Bound For Glory 2008. You should know who everyone is here. Super Eric is Eric Young as a superhero and is part of the Prince Justice Brotherhood along with Shark Boy and Curry Man (Christopher Daniels as an Indian curry company mascot). This is inside a big red cage with a dome on top. There’s a hole in the top of the dome and the first person to climb up and out gets an X-Division Title shot at some point in the future. Since there are ten men in the ring, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on.
Everyone goes after everyone to start with the Brotherhood and the Guns taking over early on. Shark Boy gets beaten up in the corner and then Devine gets the same treatment. The abused start fighting now as Sharky stomps on Johnny in the corner. We get a six man suplex with the Brotherhood all getting suplexed at the same time. Naturally they sell way too long for a suplex but that’s what you get in big spots like that.
Petey hooks his Russian legsweep on Dutt but gets pulled down when trying to escape. Curry Man goes up but Shelley makes a save. Alex’s climb goes just as well with Shark Boy leg sweeping him down. Super Eric drops Devine with a neckbreaker off the middle rope before Lethal and Dutt slug it out on the top rope. Curry Man takes Sonjay down with the Tokyo Dangerous backbreaker off the ropes. Lethal hurricanranas Rave off the top and Shelley adds a frog splash for good measure.
Eric hits a Death Valley Driver on both Devine and Dutt at the same time but the Guns stop him from leaving. The Guns take everyone down until Petey nails Shelley with a Canadian Destroyer. Shark Boy hits a double Stunner off the top to plant Shelley and Petey at the same time. The parade of finishers begins and Devine is the last man standing. Dutt gets up to stop his escape attempt though and Curry Man takes everyone down so he can do his dance. Curry almost gets to the exit but Dutt pulls him down. Lethal hammers Dutt in the ribs and climbs out for the win.
Rating: C. These matches are fun but they get really tiring after awhile. You can only see these spots for so long before you want some kind of storytelling or coherence after awhile. The match was entertaining but I’d much rather have like five guys in there at most. It would make things flow so much easier instead of being the mess that it was.
The Guns talk about not getting opportunities for about fifteen seconds.
Rock and Rave Infection vs. Kaz/Eric Young vs. Rellik/Black Reign vs. LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Petey Williams/Scott Steiner
From Lockdown 2008. This is one of the dumbest ideas TNA has ever had: Cuffed In A Cage. It’s an elimination match but you only eliminate a team by handcuffing them to the cage. I’ve never gotten Russo’s obsession with handcuffs but I have a feeling it’s rather disturbing. On top of that, we don’t even have tags so it’s everyone fighting to start. The Infection is a bad rock band (complete with Rock Band guitars) made of Jimmy Rave and Lance Rock. Before the match we see Young getting laid out by Rellik (Johnny the Bull) and Black Reign (Dustin Rhodes) to continue their stupid monster feud, leaving Kaz to go it alone.
It’s a huge brawl to start of course and there’s almost no way to call anything. Steiner gets taken down and stomped by the monsters and Rock before they quickly cuff him. Eric Young stumbles out to make sure have TWELVE people in the ring at once. Thankfully the monsters keep him out because Eric is afraid of them. Young walks out and heads to the back, leaving Kaz all alone.
The match is still a huge mess where you can barely tell what’s going on, even with things slowing down. Kaz sidesteps Sabin to send him into the cage before cuffing him to the cage. Shelley gets cuffed as well, eliminating the Guns. Williams gets beaten up by the monsters and cuffed to the cage. This is almost like a battle royal as there’s nothing going on between these eliminations.
A Doomsday Cutter from LAX drops Rave and Hernandez just LAUNCHES him into the steel. Rock makes a save with a clothesline as Kaz hits the Flux Capacitor (top rope C4) to knock Rave silly. The monsters are on him almost immediately and LAX has been cuffed. So we’ve got Kaz, Rock and Rave, Reign and Rellik still in it. Rock and Kaz head up top with Lance chokeslamming him down, allowing the monsters to cuff Kaz.
The fans are screaming for Super Eric and get him almost immediately. It’s Eric Young as a superhero which keeps him from being afraid of the monsters. Young dives onto all four guys left in the match and quickly cuffs the Infection. So it’s Young vs. Reign/Rellik as everyone else is still in the ring, cuffed to the side of the cage. Do you have any idea how hard it is to have a handicap match where you can barely reach the side of the cage? Rellik tries to cuff Eric but gets cuffed instead, leaving Eric to piledrive Reign and cuff him for the win.
Rating: D-. There was barely any wrestling, the match was such a mess because there were so many people in it, and the whole thing was a disaster. Young being afraid of the monsters worked if you didn’t think about it, but Reign and Rellik were pretty horrible in the roles, which didn’t make things any better.
The Guns talk about the idea behind the team: two bodies, one mind.
Steel Asylum
Sonjay Dutt, Curry Man, Consequences Creed, Shark Boy, Jimmy Rave, Kaz, Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, Johnny Devine, Jay Lethal
From Sacrifice 2008. It’s the same concept as earlier, meaning everyone is in the ring at once and the first man to climb out wins a shot at the X-Division Title. By the way, this is the fifth match on the set and the Guns have only been a team in the cuffed match, where they were eliminated first. This isn’t much of a Best Of set. TNA boss Jim Cornette comes out and offers the winner a spot in tonight’s World Title match due to Angle being unable to compete.
Again it’s the big red cage with ten guys inside at once so you can barely keep track of what’s going on. Creed takes Curry Man (Daniels) down with a flip clothesline but gets nailed by Rave. Sharky dropkicks Kaz but gets double teamed by the Guns’ speed offense. Sonjay’s piledriver attempt on Shelley is countered into a reverse powerbomb (that’s a finisher waiting to be made).
We get our first attempt at an escape with Creed going up, only to dive down onto Kaz instead. The Guns beat up Curry Man again before Sonjay throws Sabin into Shelley, causing Chris to DDT Alex when Sonjay takes Sabin down with a neckbreaker. It’s as stupid as it sounds. Back up and we get a ridiculous six man Tower of Doom, capped off by Devine hitting a hurricanrana off the top of the cage.
Rave stops Lethal from escaping before taking him down with a freaky spinning Angle Slam kind of move. Sharky hits the Chummer (Stunner) on Shelley followed by the Dead Sea Drop (Diamond Dust) on Sabin. Curry Man takes Dutt up top for a powerbomb onto everyone else for a huge crash. Rave and Curry slug it out until Curry Man hits a top rope Spice Rack (upside down AA) as this just keeps going. Kaz takes Curry Man down with a Flux Capacitor but Creed stops him from escaping. Devine piledrives Creed down and goes up, only to have Kaz throw him onto the pile again, allowing Kaz to climb out for the win.
Rating: C+. The match is a total spot fest but man alive it gets annoying to have these big messes. It was like they were trying to come up with stuff to fill in time instead of having any kind of flow to the match. On top of all that, the Guns continue to barely be a factor in their own DVD set. What’s up with that?
The Guns talk about what it means to face Team 3D.
X-Division Title: Jay Lethal/Motor City Machine Guns vs. Johnny Devine/Team 3D
From Against All Odds 2008. Believe it or not, this has a bunch of stipulations. Team 3D and X-Division Champion Devine have gone to war against the X-Division and if they win here, the division disbands. If Lethal and the Guns win, Team 3D has to weigh less than 275lbs to wrestle and the person who gets the fall wins the X-Division Title. Got all that?
It’s a huge brawl to start as you would expect and thankfully we go split screen to see most of it. I say most of it because there’s a huge AGAINST ALL ODDS logo covering the top half of the screen. Is that there in case you’ve bought all the PPVs that night and are flipping through the channels to pick something to watch? They finally start heading inside with Lethal nailing Ray in the head with a Dead End sign. The good guys hit stereo dives to the floor to take out everyone else in a nice visual.
Now we get the big weapons, including Sabin throwing in an inflatable doll. We also get the now clichéd kitchen sink, which makes West far too excited. Team 3D takes some sink shots to the face as Devine chokes Lethal on the floor. The Guns put sleepers on 3D and Lethal gets back in, only to take a double suplex from Team 3D, driving the Guns into the mat in the process. The villains take over with Devine nailing Lethal in the head with a keyboard for two.
Sabin saves Lethal from a big kendo stick shot and the Guns start speeding things up again to take over. High/Low gets two on D-Von but he pops back up to nail 3D on Sabin. Shelley eats one of his own but Lethal nails a springboard dropkick to drop D-Von. The fans want tables as Ray nails Lethal to take over again. Jay’s girlfriend So Cal Val is begging them to stop but Lethal flips Ray off, earning him a trashcan shot to the head. Ray pulls Val in as Tenay freaks out, because the idea of Team 3D attacking a woman is just sick right Mike?
Lethal saves Val from a cheese grater to the head and takes Ray down with a top rope hurricanrana. D-Von pulls the referee out at two so Jay dives onto him as this has basically turned into a handicap match. Jay’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ray and the Lethal Combination gets the same on Devine. A huge Bubba Bomb puts Jay down for two as it’s table time. Jay fights off all three guys again and blasts Devine with the Dead End sign. A Macho Elbow through Devine through the table gives Jay the title. The Guns weren’t seen for the last four minutes of the match.
Rating: C. The match was fun, if not TOTALLY RIDICULOUS. I mean, I’m supposed to believe that Jay Lethal can beat Team 3D and the X-Division Champion on his own in a street fight? The Guns continue to mean nothing on this set, which is really starting to get old. Can we see them featured in a single match already? They certainly weren’t here, as this was all about Jay Lethal.
The Guns talk about Generation Me being younger versions of them. Generation Me (the Young Bucks) aren’t on the set but it’s nice to hear about them.
IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. No Limit
From Lockdown 2009 and inside a cage with the Guns defending. No Limit is a Japanese team comprises of Naito and Yujiro. No tags again here as we have to make sure everything is as big of a mess as possible. Naturally it’s a brawl to start and I have no idea which member of No Limit is which. I believe Naito goes up for a cross body but Shelley breaks up his second attempt by tying him into the Tree of Woe.
Hernandez yells at the referee as Homicide elbows Yujiro in the jaw to take over. Yujiro powers Homicide up into a powerslam for two. Sabin kicks Hernandez in the head but has his Octopus Hold easily broken up. Hernandez just LAUNCHES Sabin into the cage in an awesome looking crash. Shelley chops away at SuperMex but Sabin has to break up a delayed superplex. That’s fine with Hernandez as he suplexes both of them down with ease.
No Limit takes the Guns down as well but LAX runs them over like the generic foreigners that they are. A middle rope knee drop gives Homicide a two count on Yujiro but the Guns get back up to crotch Homicide on the ropes. They bust out the kicks on Hernandez before putting Homicide on his shoulders for a missile dropkick, driving both members of LAX into the mat.
No Limit gets back up and hits a kind of Poetry In Motion on Shelley, setting up a big splash from Hernandez. A middle rope dropkick to the ribs gets two on Yujiro but Hernandez easily blocks a sunset flip attempt from Sabin. Chris gets LAUNCHED into the cage again as Hernandez is just way too strong for everyone. Shelley gets Border Tossed into the cage but No Limit slams down both members of LAX with Hernandez kicking out at two.
Sabin avoids a swan dive from Yujiro and a corkscrew moonsault from Naito as the Guns take over again. LAX gets back up though and takes Yujiro down with a Doomsday Cutter. The Guns bust out the kicks on Hernandez and nail a sitout powerbomb/Sliced Bread #2 (Made In Detroit) on Naito to retain the belts.
Rating: C. This was the first somewhat traditional match we’ve had on this entire set and it was only so good. Naito and Yujiro were just warm bodies out there and barely did anything for the entire match. LAX vs. the Guns would be a far better match, assuming you can overlook Hernandez not being a junior heavyweight.
The Guns talk about some international teams that they think would be great opponents, including Apollo 55 from New Japan.
Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International
Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshino/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin
From Victory Road 2008 and this is part of the World X Cup, which was something like a World Cup for X-Division wrestling. This is a four corners elimination match with the winners getting three points, second place getting two points and third place getting one point. Also this isn’t the final, as there’s an Ultimate X match later on in the show.
Curry Man starts with Yoshino and eats a quick dropkick that might have just needed some sauce (I apologize for that joke already). The Guns quickly come in and hammer away on Yoshino, firing off some incredibly fast kicks in the process. Dux tags himself in to work on Sabin before handing it off to Williams for a running knee in the corner. This is moving incredibly fast so far.
An inverted Gory Stretch/Dragon Sleeper combo has Sabin in major trouble before it’s off to all three members of Team Mexico to clean house on Williams. Dux takes a spinebuster/neckbreaker combination before Guerrero hits a big flip dive to take out Douglas. A quick rollup gives Bucanero a pin on Dux as this ring needs to be cleared out a bit.
Yoshino and Bucanero fight on the floor before Yoshino throws him back inside for a double team from the other Japanese guys. Off to Bucanero vs. Puma with Ray hitting a kind of reverse sitout powerbomb for two. Mexico and Japan have an insanely fast sequence ending in Puma kicking Milano by mistake, allowing Averno to faceplant Puma down for the pin.
Milano flips Averno to the apron but gets kicked in the head, followed by a low superkick for two with Ray making the save. Sabin tries a springboard forearm but Milao Matrixes down to avoid any contact. Shelley comes in at the same time but both guys get taken down into a single half crab from Milano. Curry Man makes a save but Milano pretends to take a low blow, only to have a second referee say Sabin didn’t cheat. Instead Sabin kicks Milano in the head, setting up the Cradle Shock for an elimination.
So we’re down to all three TNA guys, Kozlov and Williams for International, all three Mexico guys and just Yoshino for Japan. Yoshino grabs a kind of double leg Fameasser for two on Sabin but Shelley comes in off a hot tag to kick Yoshino in the head. The Guns speed things up again with some hard kicks to the head for two more but Yoshino comes back with an Octopus Hold on Shelley. Sabin makes a fast save but Averno tags himself in to hit a kind of reverse spinout powerbomb (popular move tonight) for two on Yoshino. They trade rollups until Yoshino cradles Averno down for the pin.
Kozlov comes in to powerslam Curry Man but stops for his dancing kicks spot. Williams slides in for Rolling Chaos Theory on Sabin with Curry making a save. It’s Williams and Curry Man slugging it out now until Team Mexico double teams Curry Man in the corner. Guerrero throws Bucanero onto Williams’ back before powerbombing Curry Man down for an elimination. Guerrero puts Williams over his knees for a corkscrew plancha from Bucanero for the pin.
We’re down to the Guns for TNA, Bucanero and Guerrero for Mexico, Kozlov for International and Yoshino for Japan. The Guns dropkick Team Mexico to the floor but miss their dives. Kozlov tries to start a RUSSIA chant in the ring so Guerrero counters with a MEXICO chant. He might actually have a chance as this show is in Houston. Kozlov kicks Guerrero low and puts on a kind of cobra clutch crossface for the submission. Bucanero comes right in and faceplants Kozlov for two, sending Kozlov off to tag in Sabin.
Bucanero goes up top but takes a huge hurricanrana from Sabin, followed by a double kick from the Guns for an elimination, finishing off Team Mexico. Yoshino eats some kicks to the face as well before the Guns but out some insane double teams, including a dropkick into a Downward Spiral, for two on Kozlov. The Russian dives into a dropkick to the ribs and eats an RKO followed by a wicked clothesline for two. Kozlov is almost done but still grabs a rollup on Sabin with his feet on the ropes for the pin.
It’s Shelley vs. Kozlov vs. Yoshino now with Kozlov hitting a huge dive to take out his fellow Alex in a big crash. Yoshino fires off strikes to Kozlov’s face, followed by Sin Cara’s La Mistica mat slam for two. A kind of armbar makes Kozlov tap and we’re down to one on one. Shelley comes back in but takes too much time setting something up, allowing Yoshino to nail a dropkick for two.
A quick Sliced Bread #2 gets two on Yoshino but he blocks a Frog Splash with raised knees. Shelley puts him on top for a superkick, only to get caught in a kind of springboard spinning Zig Zag to give Yoshino a VERY close near fall. Yoshino says that’s it and takes him up top, only to take a top rope atomic drop, followed by Sheamus’ White Noise to give Shelley the pin.
Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but once they got going it was nothing but fast paced action the entire way. Some of those near falls were excellent and they kept the match moving fast enough that you couldn’t keep up with what was going on. Keeping it up for over twenty four minutes is very impressive and the match was a blast.
Interestingly enough, the rest of this DVD isn’t on the video TNA put up on its official YouTube channel and I had to find it myself. That’s rather odd, especially when the Beer Money disc was there in its entirety.
The Guns talk about singles competition and how it means a lot to them, just like teaming together.
X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Daniels vs. Amazing Red vs. Homicide vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
From Bound For Glory 2008 and it’s Ultimate X with Red defending. Red is a guy that was around near the beginning of TNA and did some very impressive flips, earning the adulation of Don West. Don is now managing the champ and was known to climb on the announcers’ table and cheer for him. Sabin and Shelley won a match on the preshow to get in this match. Suicide is a video game character who started appearing on TV, portrayed by Daniels or Kazarian (the latter here). Homicide is part of the World Elite stable, which is a group of international wrestlers, led by Eric Young, who feel they haven’t been treated right.
It’s a mad scramble to the corners to start but no one can get anywhere. Everyone goes after everyone with Homicide getting the biggest advantage by taking down Shelley and diving through the ropes to take out Daniels. Suicide rolls the champion over and dives onto Homicide but the Guns work together to set up a suicide dive on…uh Suicide actually. Red kicks Shelley but gets dropped by Daniels, who goes for a climb. Red isn’t done yet and hurricanranas Daniels onto everyone else in the match.
Back in and Sabin busts out a giant swing on Red but Shelley adds a dropkick to the champ’s head to make it even worse. Daniels attacks both Guns and Homicide goes for a climb, only to have Suicide springboard up to the ropes and make a save, only to get pulled down into a Gringo Cutter. Sabin holds Daniels and Homicide for a top rope double stomp from Shelley.
The Guns continue their control by working over Red but the champion escapes a Doomsday Device with a Sliced Bread #2 instead of a clothesline and takes Sabin down with a hurricanrana. Suicide comes back in but Homicide suplexes him down. Homicide drops the champ and goes up but Daniels pulls him down and nails a Death Valley Driver. Red goes for the ropes but slowly comes back down for some reason, only to go back towards the belt until Suicide pulls him back down.
Now it’s Daniels and Sabin going up and kicking at each other while hanging in the air, eventually knocking each other down for a big crash. Sabin nails a tornado DDT on Daniels and Shelley nails a Sliced Bread #2 on Suicide. We get the Parade of Secondary Finishers, followed by Shelley, Red and Suicide hitting a huge Tower of Doom out of the corner with Suicide taking the worst of it (and kicking Daniels in the face on the way down).
Suicide throws Daniels down but Red kicks him in the face and gets caught by a corkscrew dive. Sabin goes nuts until Suicide kicks him off the top rope. Suicide goes right back up and hits the Flux Capacitor on Sabin, setting up Daniels’ Best Moonsault Ever. Daniels and Suicide climb onto the top of the structure above the cables and Red follows after them.
The fans ask them not to die so Daniels and Suicide tease suplexing each other off. They slap each other until Daniels carefully climbs down onto the X but Suicide does the same and they both fall with Daniels landing on his head. Tazz rightfully shouts CHECK HIM as Red slips down through the treeses as well and grabs the title before someone dies.
Rating: C+. That Daniels bump had me terrified when I saw it live and it doesn’t get any easier here. Thankfully he was ok for the most part. I can’t emphasize how much better this was than last year’s opener with just six men involved. It gives the match a chance to breathe and you can keep track of what’s going on. This was a good opener but the Daniels fall made it hard to sit through at the end.
What would happen if they fought each other? We would find out at Genesis 2009.
X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
From Genesis 2009 and it’s a tournament final. They circle each other to start until Alex grabs an armbar. Sabin grabs one of his own but gets kicked off and they nip up to a standoff. Back up and Sabin cranks on the arm a bit more until Shelley takes him down by the leg. They get up again and speed things WAY up with armdrags and flips into another standoff.
Sabin gets in the first major shot of the match with a kick to the face before cranking on an armbar with his leg around Shelley’s head. Chris sends him out to the floor for a big suicide dive, driving Alex’s head into the announcers’ table. Back in and Sabin drapes Sabin over the middle rope, setting up a Harlem Hangover into a Fameasser for a close two. They trade chops with Shelley getting the better of it before hitting a Lionsault for two. Off to an abdominal stretch from Alex with an additional arm crank for good measure.
It doesn’t last long though as Sabin tries Cradle Shock, only to have Alex escape and send him face first into the mat. That’s fine with Sabin who pops up and kicks Shelley’s head off for two. They slug it out again with Sabin knocking him into the corner for a running elbow to the jaw.
A big springboard tornado DDT gets two on Alex as Sabin is getting frustrated. He goes for another springboard but dives into a Crossface which Shelley spins into an attempted tiger suplex, only to have Chris send him into the corner for a break. Sabin snaps off the tiger suplex for two and White Noise gets the same for Shelley. Alex blocks a top rope hurricanrana and plants Sabin with a slam, only to have his Frog Splash hit knees.
Sabin misses a kick of his own and Alex nails two straight Frog Splashes for two. Back up and Sabin nails a clothesline and Cradle Shock gets two. A middle rope Cradle Shock is countered into a super Sliced Bread #2 for another near fall and Alex is STUNNED. He loads up another Sliced Bread but Sabin throws him off, only to have Shelley come up limping. Sabin checks on his partner and gets rolled up for the pin to give Alex the title.
Rating: C+. I liked most of this and the idea was decent enough, but the opening was kind of a stretch. The idea is that they think the exact same way, but there comes a point where it’s clearly choreographed and there’s almost no way around it. The rest of it worked well enough with a bunch of near falls, and they probably did the right thing with a shifty ending instead of letting one member get a fair pin.
The Guns talk about how the future is more important to wrap things up.
Overall Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I’m really not sure how this can be described as the Best of the Motor City Machine Guns when there’s a single match where they’re a regular team and the rest is almost all about them either in a big gimmick match or as afterthoughts in a multiman singles match. They said the fans picked these matches, which makes me think the fans don’t like the Guns all that much. This set needed to be released about three years later, when the Guns had built up a big catalog of matches to pick from. Like a title win for example.
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