Impact Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s the go home show for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember some of the matches we’ve heard discussed here or there. Things are being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose of having monthly PPVs but it’s TNA so you know they have to screw up something every now and then. Let’s get to it.

Angle is warming up in the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he’s coming for EC3.

We recap the World Title change from a few weeks ago and last week’s Monster’s Ball match.

Here’s Magnus with what looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it’s the Monster’s fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says he’d be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong to someone. Abyss says he’s still a monster and looks to want a fight but here’s MVP to interrupt.

MVP says calm down and that Abyss isn’t his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of Magnus tonight.

Spud tells EC3 to save the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a ghost. It was actually real though and there’s only one man that can beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud’s tie and the picture is starting to make sense to the Rockster.

Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Spud goes for a leg dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at 2:04.

Ethan clips Angle post match but Willow makes the save.

The Beautiful People promise to give Madison a makeover.

Kenny King is in MVP’s office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.

Here’s Madison Rayne for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here’s Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her. They load up the bag but Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the bag.

Mr. Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.

Gail Kim wants to team up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts and Brittany promises to be there again.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley easily throws King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King off a headlock. King bails to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the other hand. King snaps Bobby’s throat across the top rope and scores with a springboard missile dropkick.

Bobby fights back with pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley grabs King’s boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the countout at 5:37.

Rating: D+. The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the end. I’m not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but there are a lot of things I don’t get in TNA.

Mr. Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw’s family and the mom’s name is Christy. Anderson’s face is rather amusing. More on this later.

Beer Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit, Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This is a result of Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match. Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock. A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let’s talk about Abyss.

Back in and the slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C. It’s the best match and segment of the night but I’m still not interested in what they’re doing here. That’s the story of the entire show so far: it’s just not all that interesting and things aren’t getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it ends a storyline that didn’t have a lot of interest in the first place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?

Video on Sanada.

Back at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver talking about how talented her son is. She’s baking homemade apple pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm’s arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What’s Up on Storm and it’s table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I’ve seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I’m not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I’ve pretty much forgotten why they’re fighting (and no I’m not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

Magnus says it’s his time.

Anderson goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts. Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.

Anderson looks at the room and it’s designed like an 8 year old’s. Shaw comes in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.

Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Madison cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison’s crotch slam to the mat before it’s back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline. Kim misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Angelina for some shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail’s running cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.

Back in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky’s distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or anything but because they just don’t seem interested. Thankfully Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D. The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing interesting going on out there and the people didn’t care. It’s the same story we’ve seen about 8,000 times now in this division and nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren’t interesting as there’s no one to fight them because TNA can’t make new stars for this division. Where was Brittany either?

Knux is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he has to go back to Impact because it’s what he does best. She’ll be supportive of him for the first time, but says she’s going with him.

Abyss says he lost sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.

The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It’s a handicap match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.

We run down the PPV card.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat…..and Magnus kicks him low for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: D. Well that….happened. It’s angle advancement but much like the rest of this show, the angles aren’t all that interesting. This was supposed to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn’t work when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.

Post match Magnus beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down as well.

An ad for the fallout show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.

Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show. That’s the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made me want to watch another show going forward. It’s a bunch of ideas we’ve seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it’s not working.

Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar – Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries – Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus kicked Abyss low

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This one is going to kill you: it’s Samoa Joe.

Joe would debut in September 1999 in California. While still an unknown, he would get a WWF developmental contract, leading to a one off appearance in the WWF against Essa Rios on Jakked, a syndicated show, in February of 2001.

Essa Rios vs. Samoa Joe

To really date the show, Coach and Michael Hayes preview an XFL game. Joe snapmares him down but gets caught in a quick powerslam for two. Essa sends Joe to the outside and nails a great looking flip dive over the corner to land on Joe. Back in and Joe’s powerbomb is countered into a DDT, setting up the great looking moonsault for the pin.

Rating: D+. Rios’ dives looked great but Joe didn’t look like much out there. To be fair though he was still new to what he was doing. Unfortunately the WWF didn’t see the potential in him and Jim Ross told him he didn’t have a future in wrestling and Joe was released soon after.

Joe would win the ROH World Title in March of 2003 and hold if for over a year and a half. During this reign his most famous series would be against CM Punk, including what might be ROH’s most acclaimed match at Joe vs. Punk II: Joe vs. Punk II. From October 16, 2004.

ROH World Title: Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk

Punk is blonde here. The fans are split as Joe is the most popular guy in the company but it’s Punk’s hometown. They shake hands and here we go. It’s weird to see Joe using power moves. The idea is that Joe proved he could go long distances and now Punk needs another idea to fight Joe. Feeling out process to start with not much of note going on so far. They go into the corner and Joe breaks clean to tick off the crowd.

Joe hooks a hammerlock and into an armbar. Punk takes him to the corner and it’s another clean break, almost shocking everyone. Punk cartwheels out of a wristlock and Joe is like boy please and takes him down into a camel clutch. Man and he cranks on that thing. He’s channeling his inner humbler. Punk rolls out into a headlock which he used a lot in the first match. They have a ton of time to work with here so this is fine.

In a nice looking move, Joe has Punk in a Pedigree position but they’re on the mat and it’s a submission hold. I like the plug from the commentator as he talks about the shopping site where there are DVDs and all that jazz. That’s all normal and fine but at the end of it he says “Ok we got that out of the way. It’s important but I want to get back to the match.” I don’t know why but I found that really refreshing.

This has been almost all on the mat or in a technical style and I’m digging it. Punk has used a bunch of headlocks here but the idea is he used that in the first match to wear Joe down and had success with it. That’s some higher level psychology and the announcers did their part by explaining it in like two sentences. See it’s not hard. Even a belly to back suplex can’t get the hold broken.

They exchange shoulder blocks and Punk is getting fired up. We hit the strikes and Punk speeds things WAY up, grabbing a rollup and Joe bails for a bit which stuns the announcers. Back to the mat game and man are they fast down there. After Punk chills for a bit on the floor he tries a test of strength because….uh…..why would you try that against Joe? They fire off chops in the corner and while it’s not exactly Flair vs. Steamboat it’s not bad.

They go to the corner now and Punk walks the ropes to start in on the arm. Joe’s arm gets worked on for a long while and now it’s back to the headlock. This has been going on about half an hour now and it’s pretty solid stuff, almost like a chess match. Out to the floor and of course Punk is in over his head out there. Joe is a big power brawler to go with his submission stuff here so he was really more like Benoit actually.

Over to the corner and Joe fires off some face washes but Punk avoids the running boot. Now Punk washes Joe’s face in the other corner. Nice little touch there. Foley is watching from the crowd. Thankfully they don’t cut to him and miss part of the match. A driving knee from the top (knee on the back of Joe’s head and Punk drove him down) gets two. Joe grabs a very modified STF out of nowhere and DANG. They were up on their knees but then Joe bent him back so that Punk was laying on his back but his legs were underneath him. FREAKING OW MAN!!!

Punk goes up but Joe just walks away like only he does. I love that realism thing. Delayed vertical suplex (about twenty seconds) gets two for Joe. Punk goes for the arm but Joe cuts the knees out and hooks a Boston Crab. Joe fires off a bunch of kicks to the head but Punk fires off some forearms. Joe is like whatever and pops him in the face for two. This time Joe gets the Facewashes and the running boot.

Punk finally gets a boot up in the corner and then a rana to the floor. A suicide dive puts both guys down and Punk gets control back. Punk, ever the jerk, hits Joe’s Ole Kick on the floor. He tries another rana off the apron but Joe catches him in a powerbomb position and spins Punk around into the barricade. Now Joe fires off the Ole but Punk blocks. They slug it out on the floor and this time the Ole hits.

After a quick skirmish in the ring they go back to the floor…..and the announcers walk off. They say they want to watch it as fans and say the match speaks for itself. Joe gets a DDT onto the apron and I’m assuming the fanboy announcers are pleased with that. Were they paying them by the hour and run out of money or something? Back in and a spear gets a very fast two.

We’re at 45 minutes. A top rope splash misses for the fat man and they do the slugging it out from their knees spot. A snap powerslam gets two for Joe and it’s off to a cross armbreaker. Punk just can’t get away from that, even today. A big boot gets two for Punk. There’s someone at ringside but since the announcers ran out for guacamole and gram crackers, we’re on our own as to who he is.

Punk gets a tornado DDT and the Anaconda Vice which he lets go for no apparent reason. Joe takes over with a clothesline and follows it up with a pair of busters (gut and brain) for two each. Joe does his powerbomb into a crab into the STF into the crossface sequence. Sunset flip gets two for Punk as does a kick to the head. They do the whole exchange submission finishers and Punk winds up putting the Clutch on Joe.

That gets him nowhere and a double clothesline puts them both down. Two Pepsi Plunges are blocked into a superplex by Joe for a delayed two. Joe sets for the MuscleBuster but Punk goes insane pounding on Joe’s back to break it up. Another Plunge is attempted but Joe counters into the MuscleBuster….and that’s the time limit as Punk is out cold. Uh…shouldn’t the match end with Joe out cold and Punk needing 5 more seconds to win the title?

Rating: B. It’s good, but the feeling I got here was “we have to have a classic”, not “this was a classic”. The first 15 minutes of this were all about the headlock and wearing Joe down and all that jazz, but it never went anywhere after that. The last half an hour or so didn’t really have much drama for my taste.

The problem was they were going for regular moves instead of trying to finish. The problem with that is that you have Joe and Punk who have already gone an hour before and you know that’s not going to finish either guy. This was reminiscent of Hart vs. Michaels, where a lot could have been condensed and the match would have improved a lot. It’s still good, but it’s not the epic classic that it’s supposed to be.

Joe would join TNA in 2005, making his debut at Slammiversary 2005.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Samoa Joe

This is Joe’s in ring debut. We hear about Ring of Honor which is a name you don’t often hear in this company. Joe is still relatively fit here. He goes off on Sonjay in the corner and shrugs off a clothesline. Sonjay runs into the release Rock Bottom in the corner with a SICK landing. We get the Facewash in the corner and the running boot. All Joe so far.

A legsweep sets up the backsplash for two. Dutt finally gets out of the way and sends Joe to the floor. There’s a big flip dive to take the Samoan out and back in a springboard dropkick gets two. 450 gets the same. A second attempt misses and Joe hits the powerslam to set up the MuscleBuster and the Clutch for the tap.

Rating: C. This was a total squash, which would be the first of many. Joe wouldn’t lose until December of 2006 when they had to bring in Kurt Angle to give him a real challenge. The fans were into him as no one of that size could move as fast as he could and no one quite has since. Pretty effective debut.

Joe would enter and win the Super X Cup tournament, defeating AJ Styles in the finals at Sacrifice 2005. This earned him a three way title match at Unbreakable, with AJ joining him in challenging champion Christopher Daniels.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is the longest reigning champion ever at this point, AJ is a four time champion and Joe is undefeated. This is TNA’s greatest match ever so let’s see if it holds up. AJ and Joe team up to beat down Daniels to start which is kind of a surprising move. Joe kicks him HARD in the back and AJ does the same thing. It turns into a contest and I think Joe wins by a hair. Daniels gets up but Joe kicks him in the face. Cool sequence.

AJ grabs a fast rollup on Joe and we’re ready to get going. They trade pinfall attempts so fast that I can’t type them until Joe hooks a modified Rings of Saturn. Daniels breaks it up and kicks AJ down for no cover. Joe chops the champ and hits a standing enziguri to knock him to the floor. AJ takes Joe down but Daniels is back in to take over on Styles, getting two. Joe chops them both in the corner but Daniels fires back with chops of his own.

Styles headscissors both guys down into opposite corners and fires off kicks at Joe. Joe is like screw that and suplexes him down overhead style. There’s the Facewash to Styles but Daniels breaks up the running kick to the face. Daniels hits a springboard moonsault onto Joe on the floor but you know AJ has to top him, so he hits a springboard shooting star to take both guys down. He rolls Joe back in for two and things slow down a tiny bit.

Actually scratch that as Styles hits the drop down/dropkick combo for two. Daniels comes back in again and monkey flips AJ at Joe but AJ twists in mid air into a rana on the fat man. Daniels O’Connor rolls Styles for two and then launches him over the top and out to the floor. A flying knee sends Joe into the corner and Daniels slaps him in the face. Joe will have none of that and slaps Daniels back but Daniels rolls him up for two.

Joe counters the rollup into the Clutch so Styles busts out Spiral Tap to break up the hold. That gets two on both guys and Daniels sends Styles back to the floor. An STO puts Joe down but AJ breaks up the BME. I feel like I’m talking to a 3 year old after that last exchange with all the spelling. Daniels gets caught in the Tree of Woe and AJ kicks away, but Joe splashes AJ into Daniels. A running dropkick to the face breaks the Tree and Daniels is out.

The running big boot that Joe does knocks AJ’s head into Tallahassee somewhere and the backsplash gets two. Daniels comes back out of nowhere and hits the Death Valley Driver on Joe. Everyone is down until Daniels covers Joe for two. AJ gets sent to the floor and both he and Daniels miss moonsaults. They slug it out so Joe hits a corkscrew plancha to take both guys down. The fans are losing their minds over this stuff. Back in and Daniels breaks up the MuscleBuster but Styles goes up too. AJ and Daniels fight on the top so Joe backdrops both of them down at the same time.

Joe gets up first and he looks MAD. He and AJ slug it out with AJ taking over but Joe slugs him right back and hits a big old German release suplex to take over. There’s the MuscleBuster but Daniels comes in with the belt. He charges at Joe but the Samoan hits a snap powerslam to cut that off. Joe picks the belt up but Daniels kicks it into his face. Daniels and AJ slug it out and that just feels appropriate. A blue thunder bomb out of nowhere gets two on Styles.

Release Rock Bottom puts AJ down and the BME gets two as Joe makes the save. Daniels puts a Dragon Sleeper on Joe and hooks the Last Rites (rolling cutter which he didn’t use that often) to send Joe to the floor again. AJ bounces back up and hits the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two. Styles goes up but Daniels hits a palm strike to stop him. Daniels superplexes him down but he can’t cover. Joe comes in and covers both guys for two.

Joe focuses on Daniels and hits his powerbomb into the Boston Crab into the STF sequence so he can call a LONG spot to Daniels. Daniels (wearing a wedding ring) gets the rope so Joe beats up AJ a bit more. He fires off forearms but AJ snaps off the Pele to take over again. The Rack into a neckbreaker gets two for Styles but Daniels is back up. AJ hits a sunset flip into the Clash but Joe makes the save at two. Daniels ducks a charging Joe to send him tot he floor. AJ and Daniels slug it out and Daniels tries the Angel’s Wings. AJ counters into a bridging backdrop and stays on top for the pin and the title.

Rating: A+. Yeah that’s the easy answer but there’s no real other option to go with here. This was about twenty three minutes long and the longest they go without action is maybe 20 seconds. These three have incredible chemistry together and it was a great example of what smaller guys can do. It’s not the best match in TNA history by a mile but it’s the best match by a few feet. Great match.

Joe would get a one on one title shot against Styles at Turning Point 2005.

X-Division Title: Samoa Joe vs. AJ Styles

AJ is defending and Joe is undefeated. They’ve fought before, I believe at Sacrifice. Joe has the bloody towel which is still awesome. AJ goes right at Joe as soon as the bell rings, knocking him into the corner where Joe is just covering up. AJ ducks his head though and Joe gets in a kick to the chest. The drop down dropkick knocks Joe silly though and the champ takes over again.

Joe misses a charge and for some reason they have a stalemate. AJ has that fire in his eyes here and that means this is going to be awesome. They chop it out and Joe fires of HARD kicks to take over. A running kick sends Styles to the floor and the fire is gone all of a sudden. AJ comes in first but can’t suplex Joe over the top. Instead he guillotines him on the top rope, sending Joe to the floor.

Joe pulls the feet out and spins him around in a powerbomb position to send Styles into the barricade. SICK impact. Styles gets sent into the barricade and a running boot sends AJ flying. Back in and AJ is knocked into the corner and a kick to the chest puts him down. Backsplash keeps Styles down and gets two. A chinlock runs through a few seconds and it’s Facewash time. AJ blocks one of them though and fires off some rights. That gets him nowhere though as Joe kicks him HARD in the face and Styles’ lights are out.

Styles is knocked to the apron but he manages a kind of enziguri but the springboard forearm is countered into a powerbomb into a Boston Crab and then a modified one with AJ’s legs in a powerbomb position. AJ kicks his way out of it and goes to the corner. Joe misses a charge and goes to the floor. The running Shooting Star dive (LOVE that move and it’s called the Fosburry Flop) takes Joe down. Springboard forearm to the back of the head gets two.

Joe’s release German is escaped into the moonsault DDT for two. Powerslam gets two for the Samoan. Joe fires off kicks and Styles says kick him harder. Joe does and AJ crumples up in the corner. AJ comes back again after some right hands and kicks Joe down. AJ’s mouth is busted but I think we’re in Rope-A-Dope land. He loads up the Clash but powerbombs Joe instead for two. That was impressive.

Styles’ eyes say “what more do I have to do” and Joe KILLS him with a clothesline. That only gets one and Joe looks stunned. A SICK double underhook powerbomb gets two for Joe and Styles screams at him. Joe hooks a standing Clutch but AJ escapes and hits the Pele for no cover. AJ takes him to the corner but has to escape a top rope MuscleBuster. Instead AJ pulls him to the mat and then hits the Clash…..for two. The champ tries an O’Connor Roll but gets caught in the Clutch and Styles passes out to give Joe the title for the first time.

Rating: B+. Styles may not bring out the best in Joe, but Joe brings out the best in Styles. This was telling a great story with Styles wanting to hold on as long as he could and tire Joe out but in the end, Joe was just too much for him. The match was great, but when they threw in Daniels it made things excellent. Very good match here though and the fire in Styles was great.

Joe would soon turn face and join Sting in the main event picture. This would lead to Joe vs. NWA World Champion Jeff Jarrett in a fans’ revenge strap match at No Surrender 2006.

Samoa Joe vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett has a bunch of shirts and pads on. Young pops up but can’t find Sting. Jeff sends Young into the rafters, because Young has checked all of Universal Studios EXCEPT THE PLACE STING ALWAYS HANGS OUT IN. It’s a regular match other than the lumberjacks. Joe, still the hottest thing in the company, uses his stuff that comes from all over and beats the champion half to death to start.

Jarrett is sent to the floor but he jets back in to avoid pain. Joe starts taking some of the layers of clothes Jeff has on. The better to eat you with my dear. After a few minutes of getting dominated, Jeff manages to send Joe to the floor where the fans won’t touch him. Jarrett gets one of the straps somehow and beats on Joe with it. The fans all get behind Joe and after a minute or so of Jarrett, the world champion mind you, being in control, Joe moves out of the way of a cross body and momentum shifts.

See this is the problem: there’s no real reason for Jarrett to have a chance here because Joe has to beat him as the streak can’t go down on a throwaway show here. In short, Jarrett was a lame duck champion that shouldn’t have had the title since Slammiversary like he had. You have Sting win the title there then have Jarrett keep winning through the same cheating. Joe gets this match here and then goes on to streak vs. title at BFG. That of course would mean listening to the audience and we can’t have that and Joe wouldn’t get the title for a year and a half.

Jarrett gets the strap back and tries to choke Joe so the fans run in and get shots on the back of Jeff. Joe grabs the Clutch but Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. The guitar is brought in and Jarrett gets a Stroke onto the guitar but that’s just the world champion’s finisher onto a weapon. Why should that get three?

And no I’m not complaining like I usually would here by saying Jeff should beat him. I’m saying Jarrett was a horrible champion and shouldn’t have held the title here at all. Joe counters a middle rope Stroke and with a Musclebuster he pins the world champion, earning a spot in a hardcore match with Spike Dudley at the biggest show of the year.

Rating: D. The match was bad on top of how freaking stupid it was. They had no idea what the point of the story was because Joe was dominant and looked awesome here while Jarrett, the champion looked like a jobber to the stars. Not a good match and one of the dumbest things I’ve seen in TNA in a very long time. This started my hatred of things in this company. Also, Ultimate X should have gone on last.

Somehow this didn’t put Joe in the title hunt but he would get a nice parting gift. Immediately after the match, Kurt Angle would debut for TNA. Angle said he wanted the best and would make his in ring debut against Joe at Genesis 2006.

Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

The fans immediately chant this is awesome, which is kind of annoying. Feeling out process to start and Kurt goes straight for the ankle. Joe blocks the hold pretty easily and pounds him down onto the ropes. Kurt snaps off the belly to belly and clotheslines Joe to the outside. Joe grabs him in a powerbomb position, pulls him to the outside and swings him into the barricade.

Back in Angle misses a charge, hitting the post shoulder first. Out to the floor and Joe hits the suicide elbow before sending Angle into the steps. Pretty one sided so far. Kurt’s all nice and busted now. That’s a good thing too as he had a big annoying bandage on his head before that. Joe goes right for the cut and rips away at it. Powerslam gets two. Angle gets in some uppercuts but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.

Kurt’s head is flowing very solid here. Joe loads up the MuscleBuster but Kurt comes back with a front facelock into a tornado DDT, getting two. They slug it out and Joe misses a charge, setting up the Rolling Germans. He tries to release the last one but drops him on his face instead. That gets two and Kurt is all fired up. Joe armdrags his way out of the Slam and hits the MuscleBuster for two.

Angle rolls out of the Clutch and hits the Slam for a very quick two. There go the straps and he hooks the ankle lock. Joe rolls through but can’t break the hold. He pulls Angle down into the Clutch and Kurt is in trouble, but he manages to grab the foot and hook the ankle lock again. The fans are WAY into this. Joe rolls out to send Kurt into the middle rope, but he walks into another Olympic Slam. Kurt puts the straps back up so he can take them back down. Oh MAN he’s serious here. Angle hooks the ankle lock with the grapevine and Joe has to tap.

Rating: B. That’s it? Don’t get me wrong the match was good but this was only about thirteen and a half minutes. Why in the world would you make this match run that short? There are over six minutes left in the show and they cut it that short? It couldn’t be Kurt’s cardio as he was a full time guy less than six months earlier. Good match, but WAY too short.

This was the start of a feud between the two, eventually setting up a winner take all match. By that I mean the winner of the match would be TNA World, IWGP World, X-Division and sole owner of the Tag Team Titles. From Hard Justice 2007.

TNA World Title/X-Division Title/Tag Titles/IWGP World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Kurt is all messed up mentally and drops one of the belts on the way to the ring. So it’s high school sophomore Kurt here. Joe has his Samoan dancers here. Karen is nowhere to be seen at the bell. Feeling out process to start and Angle is knocked to the floor. Here are Karen and that other dude. Nothing of note so far in the opening three minutes or so.

Joe tries a sunset flip and Kurt gets his tights pulled down for a Ric Flair imitation. Karen throws champagne in Kurt’s eyes. Back in a running knee gets two for Joe. Joe uses the Facewash in the corner and Kurt is in big trouble. The American hits a German on the Samoan to put both guys down. Off to a chinlock as this isn’t much of a match. It’s certainly below what these two usually do.

Here are the rolling Germans. Joe grabs one of his own and they slug it out. Snap powerslam gets two. Kurt goes to the second rope but Joe snaps off a wicked enziguri for two. The Slam is countered so Joe slaps Angle a few times. Powerslam gets two. MuscleBuster is loaded up but Kurt rolls through into the ankle lock which is countered into the Clutch which is countered into the ankle lock again.

They speed things up and the Angle Slam gets two. The fans are finally into something on this show and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly, getting two. The moonsault misses but it would have been a headbutt at best anyway. MuscleBuster gets two. Joe grabs the Clutch again but Angle bites his fingers to break it. Off to the ankle lock which Joe counters back into the Clutch.

Angle gets his foot on the ropes and there’s the ref bump. Joe grabs the choke again and Angle taps. Ever the idiot since he’s the face here, Joe lets go of the hold since there’s no referee. Karen grabs a chair but, say it with me, IT’S A SWERVE!!!! Karen slides it to Kurt who clocks Joe with it for the pin and all the titles. Give me a break.

Rating: B. It’s good but when you have 2007 Joe vs. Angle, you’re expecting more than a Russo finish. I mean, it’s not bad but the swerve was predictable because it was exactly what you expected to happen. It was the least logical option given the storyline leading up to this so that was always going to be the ending. The first ten minutes of this were weak but the ending was a lot better, other than the swerve of course.

One more Angle vs. Joe match, but it’s a big one. From Lockdown 2008.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Samoa Joe

Now the first thing you notice is that this is more or less designed as a half MMA fight and half wrestling match. Now I get the idea here as they want to spread out the audience, but this isn’t something I can get into. I’m not saying it’s a bad idea, but it’s just not the greatest idea in the world to me. It’s new though so I have to give them credit for not just doing the same match.

They use a lot of MMA techniques and it’s actually working pretty well. They have Frank Trigg on commentary which is a good idea as he offers a perspective that we wouldn’t usually get, much like Tenay used to do with the cruiserweights in WCW. This is about seventeen minutes of primarily submission based stuff and while it’s not my style, it’s certainly great stuff.

You can tell there’s been a lot of training done for both guys to incorporate a lot of new submissions. In a CREEPY moment, Joe gets a crossface on Angle and the fans chant Joe’s gonna kill you. I don’t think it was intentional or anything, but that’s rather chilling. After a ton of submission attempts, and I mean at least 12 apiece, Joe hits the Muscle Buster to get the pin. Massive posing and celebrating ends the show.

Rating: A-. That might be a bit high but after what I went through with the idiocy earlier, this was gold for me. It’s a completely different style but it worked exactly like they wanted it to so I can’t complain at all. This was named match of the year in TNA and I can buy that.

I’m glad this was a one off thing though as it’s not something I’d want to become the norm. Either way, this was a great way to put the belt on Joe, but because it came two freaking years too late, no one cared and he was a boring champion.

Joe would defend the title over the next few months before dropping it to Sting at Bound For Glory. This led to something resembling a heel turn for Sting as he started the Main Event Mafia. Joe would get all violent, paint a fake tattoo on his face and lead the TNA Frontline in the war against the Mafia, leading to Lethal Lockdown at Lockdown 2009.

Team Angle vs. Team Jarrett

It’s Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames but after everyone is in there is a roof with weapons attached lowered and we only have one ring. You have two teams of four (thank GOODNESS!) people each. Each team sends in a man for five minutes and then there’s a coin toss. The winning team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up the team that lost the toss sends in their second man to tie us up. Two minutes later the winning team goes up 3-2. You alternate every two minutes and then lower the roof after everyone is in.

Angle vs. Daniels to start us off here. Daniels has been back in TNA for a total of four days. Daniels actually gets him down to start and holds him there. Angle realizes he’s Angle and takes care of that. This is a slow paced start here with both guys working on the mat. That’s not bad though and it’s working for the most part as they’re solid there.

Team Angle has the advantage apparently which might have been determined already. TNA does that on occasion which makes sense at least. Daniels gets the Koji Clutch out of nowhere with about 5 seconds to go. I know I didn’t say much in there but it was just dull stuff. Granted that could be due to Daniels. Booker is in second and drills Daniels, who apparently was surprised. I guess the music, the clock and the BIG FREAKING WRESTLER didn’t get his attention.

Angle gets back up after about a minute and a half and it’s the big beatdown with about 45 seconds left until we tie it up again. For some reason Booker took forever to come into the match so they only got about 90 seconds in there. AJ ties us up. He took the Legends Title from Booker last month so there’s your reason for him being there. AJ just looks freaking awesome there, running in with his eyes looking awesome. I think I’m bordering on a man crush here.

AJ and Daniels destroy the Mafia with sweet double team stuff. They always had a chemistry together which again I have to put on AJ for bringing up Daniels. I am not a fan of his at all and I don’t get his appeal. His style is way too out there for me and it’s how ROH tends to work. Not a fan of it. Steiner is in third meaning Nash will be the final guy. Yeah I’m stunned too that he has the least to do.

Steiner Lines all around. Daniels takes a big old suplex but AJ takes what Steiner calls the Frankensteiner now even though that simply isn’t what it is anymore. Joe is third to add up the holy trinity of the X Division…and there’s no Joe. He’s getting advice from his mentor, who would turn out to be Taz. While he’s standing there though his partners are getting destroyed.

Ah here’s Joe, complete with the “tattoo” on his face. Steiner vs. Joe is a sad sight for some reason. Having only eight people in here is a VERY nice perk as the ten that most people have is way too many. When you had two rings in WCW that was ok as there was more than enough room.

Nash comes in last and Joe FREAKS on him, not even letting him into the ring. And so much for that as he drills Joe and gets in anyway. Ok everyone that is in the match so far is in there. Best Moonsault Ever to Nash but we can’t cover yet. Not that it matters as it’s not like Nash would let Daniels get a pin on him anyway. Here’s Jarrett to tie us up and get us to the final part of the match.

He cleans house in his powder blue tights as the roof with weapons on it is lowered. Basically now it turns into who can get out of the cage for the big spot first. Because TNA is stupid, we go to a SIX WAY SCREEN SPLIT. Since there is a total of one ring, they realize this is stupid and go to a regular shot. Angle has managed to find a hole in the roof and is on top. AJ follows him so we get a little breathing room in the ring.

AJ vs. Angle squaring off on top of the cage is kind of cool looking. Angle tries to suplex him off but it gets blocked due to it being like deadly. Angle gets back in the ring after a bit and hits the Slam on Jarrett. AJ is up on top of the cage and is just like screw it and dives through the top of the cage, breaking it and landing on the Mafia. When I say on the Mafia I mean they all back up so they don’t have to catch him and let him crash. Nice guys.

Joe goes off until Booker takes him down and spins up. I hate the name so I don’t feel like typing it. Jarrett swings a chair at Booker and hits AJ who is somehow still alive after that jump. Joe gets all ticked off at him but gets caught in the Slam because he’s not paying attention. Angel’s Wings gets two on Angle. Basically this is just everyone hits big moves until Jarrett gets the guitar and sets to hit AJ but drills Booker like he’s supposed to and AJ gets the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid stuff here with the four people per team DEFINITELY being a good idea. This wasn’t the best match they’ve ever had with this gimmick but this one worked pretty well. They got into that formula that isn’t very exciting here but the big dive from AJ was a very solid spot, although someone CATCHING HIM would have been nice. Solid stuff here though and DEFINITELY the best match of the night so far.

Not a lot would happen for Joe over the next year, but he would win the World Title shot in Feast or Fired. He would cash in his shot against the now heel AJ Styles at Against All Odds 2010.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe

Remember Bischoff is referee here. Why is he referee? No clue but it’s TNA so that comes with the territory. I love the total lack of tattoo on his face. AJ has a Flair robe. Shoot me now. Ok the hood on it makes it a lot better than I thought. Why in the world are they making AJ a heel here? Seriously, he’s so insanely over and they make a fortune off his merchandise so let’s just throw that away.

He has blonde highlights now too. That’s just great. Fans are WAY behind Joe. There is something awesome about the way JB says “From the Isle of Samoa.” No idea why but I’ve always loved that. As soon as the robe came off AJ got about 10x more awesome. AJ simply doesn’t need Flair to be a heel. The interesting thing here is that Flair and Eric have legit heat. Some of you might not know why though.

Back in 1998, Flair’s son Reid was wrestling in an amateur tournament in North Carolina and Flair was dead set on being there to watch him compete. He gave warning to Bischoff that he would be there and that’s all there was to it. The thing is there was a Thunder, not Nitro or a PPV but THUNDER, that night. Flair, having a thing called common sense, thought that since he was Ric Flair and this was WCW and he gave sufficient warning that he would be able to have a night off.

Bischoff thought otherwise and suspended him. This literally went on for months and the fans reverted back to 1991 and spent the whole show chanting WE WANT FLAIR. So this led to a famous as well as awesome moment where Arn Anderson reformed the Horsemen (adding in Dean Malenko for the first time) and completely unannounced brought out Flair for the first time in about four months in NORTH CAROLINA. What do you think the reaction was?

Naturally Flair gets one of the biggest pops in WCW history and looks like a million bucks and the fans are FREAKING OUT. And of course they had Flair have a heart attack a few weeks later then had Bischoff beat him at Starrcade with a screwjob ending that the fans booed out of the freaking building. How did that company ever make a freaking dime?

The Horsemen were then, you guessed it, fed to the NWO and made to look like jokes while Hogan won the world title from Nash in the Fingerpoke of Doom, because of course having the guy the fans are cheering for like there’s no tomorrow being pushed as a serious character can’t work so let’s just stick with the same stuff that’s made us lose the biggest ratings lead in wrestling history while Austin and Vince are destroying us in the ratings right?

ANYWAY, the point is that Bischoff more or less said that Flair was just one of the wrestlers and that carrying the company for as many years as he did was NOTHING in comparison to guys like Hogan and Savage who came in and tanked the company for two years before the one good idea that Bischoff had (read as stole from two Japanese companies that did the same thing years before the NWO was even heard of) made any money before he ran the company into the freaking ground. Flair was disrespected and the fans chanted WE WANT FLAIR very loudly and Bischoff had to back down and let Flair come back before embarrassing him again.

Oh yeah there’s a PPV here. There is something just freaking awesome about the fans chanting JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU. How can that not get into your head? AJ works on the knee. Ok, that’s fine if he does it a bit but you have AJ Styles in there. Have him use his stuff, not Flair’s as his primary offense. We’re on the floor (I know I’m shocked too) and AJ is trying to suplex Joe which fails more than Flair’s hair.

I’m glad Joe is in the shorts again. They work better for him. Joe counters a top rope hurricanrana and goes aerial and hits kind of an enziguri to the front of the face. Flair goes after the leg. Never mind that it’s the WRONG ONE as AJ had worked on the right leg and Flair went after the left one but whatever. AJ uses an Indian Deathlock and bends back to more or less have his hands like you would for a reverse neckbreaker.

Benoit did that to Booker T once on Thunder and WCW went to a commercial just as he locked it in. Brilliance I tell you, brilliance. There’s the figure four that you knew was coming. Love that snap powerslam Joe does. I know I tend to skip around a lot on my reviewing but here’s my thought on why I don’t just list off play by play: if you wanted that, you could just go watch the match yourself.

Just thought I’d make that clear in case people think I fast forward and just watch pieces of the match. I write out what pops into my head and at times there isn’t much. Doesn’t mean the match is bad or anything but just nothing strikes me about it. And end of random tangent. And Bischoff punches Flair. Ok then. Joe hits the Muscle Buster while this is happening and is ticked off that nothing can be done about it. Joe pulls Bischoff back in and walks into the Pele and the Clash for the pin. Flair demands that Bischoff raise AJ’s hand.

Rating: B+. Solid stuff here but it was missing a little something that I just can’t place. This is another match that you just can’t mess up and they didn’t here. Another solid showing here and it was certainly worthy of being the world title match. AJ just doesn’t work as a heel though.

After getting caught in the middle of the confusing THEY storyline in 2010 and a pretty lame feud with D’Angelo Dinero in early 2011, Joe would go on a losing streak. He tried to break out of it by facing the undefeated Crimson at Slammiversary 2011.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

Crimson hits the ring and they slug it out immediately.  The fans think Joe’s Gonna Kill Crimson.  Suicide dive is blocked by a forearm from the floor and there’s a big boot back in the ring by Crimson.  Neckbreaker gets two.  Cravate goes on so Joe gets a bad dragon screw leg whip to take the red dude down.  Crimson hammers away on Joe but walks into a kind of atomic drop sort of a move to the knee.  That was different.

He takes Crimson down with relative ease and there’s a leg bar for a few seconds.  Spinning toe hold by Joe as we go back to the mid 1870s.  Crimson counters into a triangle choke and then an arm bar which gets him nowhere.  T-Bone suplex by Crimson takes Joe down as the fans are trying to get into this.  Double arm DDT gets two.  The fans chant Mercer, which is Crimson’s real name I believe.

Suplex and a clothesline by Joe get two.  Joe goes up to the middle rope for a Rough Ryder for two.  Joe is all frustrated.  “Dang man end this match already before the buffet is empty.”  Powerbomb gets two and it’s off to a half crab.  We get a Gumby reference of all things as the hold stays on.  They slap it out and Crimson gets a spear to take Joe down.  They slug it out again with Crimson knocking him back into the corner.  Now Joe knocks him back into the corner but can’t get the Musclebuster.  Clutch can’t go on either so there’s the Red Sky to end this.

Rating: C+. Pretty good big slugout here and it’s good to see Crimson actually face big time competition for a change.  Pretty good match here with the ending being pretty clear, but a nice test for Crimson nonetheless.  I don’t think Crimson is as great as he’s made out to be, but this worked pretty well for what it was.

Joe’s losing streak would continue through the Bound For Glory Series. However he would get back into things in his specialty: a tournament. This time it was a Wild Card Tag Team Tournament where random teams paired together. Joe and Magnus won the tournament, earning a Tag Team Title shot at Against All Odds 2012.

Tag Titles: Magnus/Samoa Joe vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Morgan and Joe start things off. Morgan shrugs off some shoulders to start and hits a shoulder of his own for two. Off to Crimson and Magnus with the power guy taking over. Back to Morgan and the champs double team a bit. Suplex gets two for Morgan and it’s Red Boy again. Magnus hits a clothesline to bring Joe back in as the challengers take over. A big boot to the shoulder by Magnus sets up a Joe backsplash for two.

There’s a chinlock by Magnus to Crimson as things slow down and we enter into a traditional formula. Crimson misses a right hand and Magnus suplexes him for two. Back to Joe who peppers Crimson in the corner with right hands. A big boot out of desperation put Joe down and there’s the double tag to give us Morgan vs. Magnus. The big man cleans house with knee lifts and a double clothesline.

He charges into a Magnus boot though, but it doesn’t seem to matter as a spinning slam into a Rock Bottom (I think Chris Harris called it the Catatonic) gets two. Magnus and Joe can’t hit their double team finisher but Crimson accidentally spears Morgan. Crimson is sent to the outside and the snapmare and elbow combination gives us new champions at 10:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty good tag match here and I’ll overlook the questionable booking for the sake of giving me something to like on this show. Nothing has been bad but this first hour has come and gone with nothing significantly above average at all. Joe getting a title is a nice sight though.

Magnus and Joe would hold the titles for four months, eventually dropping them at Sacrifice 2013. Joe wouldn’t do much for the summer but would enter a tournament for the vacant TV Title, and advance to the finals on September 27, 2012’s Impact.

TV Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Samoa Joe

Both guys try for their finishers very fast but neither can get them to work. Joe hits his back elbow and enziguri in the corner for two and he takes over. He stomps away a bit and hits a chop to the back but gets rolled up for two. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Anderson as well and he pounds away. Anderson hits a jawbreaker and a Regal Roll but Joe rolls it through into a crucifix for two.

The Mic Check is countered but Joe counters a rollup into most of the Clutch but he doesn’t have the bodyscissors. Now the scissors is on and Joe gets the back too. He traps Anderson’s arm before Anderson can make the rope. This hold has been on for like 90 seconds now and Anderson is still conscious. Anderson passes out to give Joe the title and the Grand Slam at 5:21.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much of a match for the TV Title if they were going for something special. The ending was pretty absurd with Anderson holding on in a choke for two minutes. Wouldn’t the guy be dead after that? Anyway, the match was dull as it pretty much just came and went, which isn’t what you want in a title match.

2013 was spent in the incredibly dull Aces and 8’s feud so we’ll jump ahead to the beginning of 2014 with Joe getting back to his old dominant ways on Impact on February 20, 2014.

BroMans/Zema Ion vs. Samoa Joe

Joe cleans house to start and sidesteps Zema’s middle rope cross body. The tag champions break up the MuscleBuster and Jesse hits a nice dropkick. Robbie drops a middle rope elbow and Zema gets two off a middle rope moonsault. All three of them hit charges in the corner but Joe pulls the BroMans into the way of a Zema missile dropkick. A DDT/Russian legsweep combo takes the champions down to the floor and there’s the suicide elbow. Back inside and Zema charges into the corner Rock Bottom, setting up the MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch for the win at 3:38.

Rating: C+. This was the right way to use a comedy tag team and their goofy manager. Thankfully the Bro Mans didn’t lose the fall here, even though they got beaten up pretty badly. It’s a good way to make Joe look strong heading into Lockdown and that’s the right idea given the odds he’s up against.

Samoa Joe is a great case of someone who got too much too soon. Not that he wasn’t talented or deserving enough of the spot, but when you’re in a match for every title in the company two years after you debut, there isn’t much left for you to do. Even though Joe has only won one World Title, he’s been in TNA going on nine years now and there’s nothing left for him to accomplish other than maybe getting back on top. He’s still entertaining, but he’s more of a guy you beat to get to the top now instead of the top man. Joe is a talented guy but he’s been around so long that he needs a change of scenery.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Impact Wrestling
Date: March 13, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

For the first time since October we’re coming off a pay per view and MVP is now in full control. His team won Lethal Lockdown with the help of Bully Ray swerving Dixie Carter by screwing over Team Roode this past Sunday. Other than that Abyss has been revealed as Magnus’ bodyguard/enforcer after saving the title when Samoa Joe had Magnus beaten. Tonight should be a fresh start for the company as we head towards Sacrifice at the end of next month. Let’s get to it.

The show is dedicated to Donovan Hill, who passed away at less than ten years old. I’m not sure who that is but he’s called “Our Angel.”

The Bro Mans and Ethan blame Roode for the loss but Roode says blame it on Bully Ray. A plot is hatched to take care of the Bully.

We look at some clips from Lockdown, focusing on the ends of the double main event.

Here’s a happy MVP to open the show. He’s pleased to tell us that Dixieland is officially closed for business. Just a week ago he was the minority owner but now he’s in charge and moving forward. He doesn’t know why Bully Ray did what he did but his past sins are now forgiven and he can compete like everyone else on the roster. MVP will be running this roster with the MVP Principle: Motivate, Validate, Participate. If someone has an issue, they can come deal with it, but he’s willing to give out some physical discipline if necessary.

This brings out Magnus with a rebuttal. He says this is the most ridiculous thing he’s ever seen. MVP: “More ridiculous than your title run?” Magnus talks about how Dixie is gone so now we can look at the important things like his title reign. He brings out his associate Abyss (in a new brown mask close to what Kane wore in 2002 and yellow/black trench coat) and agrees with the fans chanting YOU SOLD OUT. Magnus says he isn’t like Jim Mitchell or Eric Young because he’s going to pay Abyss to do whatever he wants.

MVP says Magnus was beaten at Lockdown until Abyss saved him. We should put this conversation on hold though, because we need Samoa Joe out here right now. Joe comes out holding his ribs but MVP says we’re not done yet. Therefore, Joe is still #1 contender and getting a match right now against Abyss.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Joe takes him down and hammers away as we take a quick break. Back with Joe in control and hammering Abyss from one corner to another. He hits the Facewash in the corner but gets caught by a right hand to the injured ribs to change control. Abyss chokes on the ropes and punches in the corner like a monster should be doing.

We hit a quick neck crank but Joe fights out of a chokeslam attempt. A running boot puts Abyss down and there’s the back splash but Joe hurts his ribs again. He’s able to powerslam the monster down but Abyss fights out of a MuscleBuster attempt. Joe jumps from the middle rope into a chokeslam so Abyss goes outside to get Janice. This brings in Eric Young to dropkick Abyss down for the DQ at 9:30.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but too much of it was in the commercial. It didn’t help that Joe was injured for such a long portion. Eric coming in makes sense but it doesn’t really have me fired up for the upcoming blowoff match. They had to get rid of Abyss vs. Joe somehow if they’re keeping Joe going after the title.

JB is in the back for an interview when Angelina Love returns and asks if he missed her.

Bully Ray is on his way but we cut over to Willow for one of his freaky promos that I can’t understand.

Brittany vs. Gail Kim

Brittany is debuting here despite being Santana Garrett on a One Night Only show. We get a quick profile on her, saying she’s a second generation wrestler and admires Madison Rayne. Gail goes off on Brittany but the newcomer comes back with a forearm. Kim takes her down with a quick backbreaker and sends her into the corner for some kicks and shoulders to the ribs. Brittany takes her down with a Russian legsweep and Tapa comes in. She accidentally splashes Gail though and Brittany grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:02.

Post match Gail goes off on Tapa but gets laid out and beaten up with ease.

Bully Ray arrives and gets jumped by Ethan, the Bro Mans and Roode. They choke him out and blast Ray in the head with a big board to leave him laying.

Bro Mans vs. Sanada/Tigre Uno

Non-title. Zema does the full intro to great comedic effect. We get a video of Great Muta praising Sanada and telling him to make Japan look great. Sanada gets slammed down by Jesse to start and there’s that horn. Off to Tigre who works on Robbie’s arm to the appeal of the crowd. Jesse gorilla presses the masked Tigre and pumps him over and over, only to have Sanada come in with a springboard chop to the head.

A nice double dropkick puts Robbie down and Jesse gets suplexed onto his partner. The tag champs bail to the floor and Sanada backdrops Uno onto them both in a BIG crash. Back in and double missile dropkicks put the Bro Mans down again before Sanada hits a moonsault for the pin on Robbie at 2:50.

Velvet Sky freaks out that Angelina Love is back.

Bully destroys the Bro Mans to get some revenge.

Samuel Shaw is talking to Christy and wants her out there for his rematch with Anderson. He gets annoyed when the cameraman sees him. Christy was never seen or heard in the shot.

Ethan and Spud have a tribute to Dixie up next.

Samoa Joe goes to yell at Eric Young for interfering earlier but says don’t do it again. Eric has gotten Joe a rematch next week against Magnus for the title and Eric will be chained to Abyss.

It’s time for the tribute to Dixie. The fans are glad that she’s gone but Spud is overly emotional. The fans switch to a BORING chant, but Ethan says that just makes Spud want to cry more. Spud talks about how tonight is about how Dixie made everyone feel, including supple young Ethan. Dixie picked him up like Mary lifting Jesus out of the manger and made him the man he is today.

We get a video tribute to Dixie with shots of her smiling and yelling at various people. Then one night it was all taken away in Miami Beach. MVP can take away her power, but he’ll never take her out of our hearts. Spud reads what sounds like the song Dixie until MVP breaks this up. He says Dixie is just in the back shuffling papers now. Over the last few weeks, Spud has grown on him like a fungus or a rash.

Spud and Ethan must be loyal if they put up with Dixie but now it’s time for them to back it up in the ring. Spud says he can’t wrestle because he’s small and the Chief of Staff. MVP says that’s cool because we don’t need a Chief of Staff anymore. He gives Spud a pep talk and Spud wants to fight, so tonight it’s Spud vs. Willow. The announcers just say it’s Jeff Hardy’s alter ego.

Ethan shouldn’t laugh because next week he gets to face Bobby Lashley. Bobby comes out for a staredown and MVP says he’s officially on the roster. Spud yells at Bobby so Lashley bops him with the Dixie portrait. The former Chief of Staff snuggles up to it before Ethan leaves in a huff.

JB is waiting for Ethan behind the curtain and Ethan promises to take out Lashley’s knee next week. Bully Ray jumps him and hits a HARD shot to the head. Ethan takes a hard shot with a plastic board of his own.

Samuel Shaw vs. Mr. Anderson

Street fight. Shaw was talking to the upper body of a mannequin with a red wig. Anderson does his intro but Shaw sneaks up in the darkness to jump him before the bell. Anderson comes back with some right hands and but gets whipped into the steps. Samuel drives him back first into the apron and grabs a suplex on the floor.

Anderson finally throws him into the ring and they slug it out some more until Anderson gets the swinging neckbreaker and rolling fireman’s carry. Mr. goes to the corner and grabs the mannequin’s hair, sending Shaw into a panic. He gives it a kiss and tosses it to Shaw who takes his time sitting it down, allowing the Mic Check to hit for the pin at 3:57.

Rating: D. Why in the world did this need to be a street fight? You could have done the exact same match with a brawl before the bell and thent he exact same finish. Shaw continues to be freaky and good in the role which is more than he could have done on his own. It was fine for a quick match but the gimmick brings it down.

Anderson shouts his name into the mannequin’s face.

Angelina says she’s back for someone special.

Video on the fan parties at house shows.

Willow stares at the camera.

Kenny King of the Night video.

Here’s Angelina for her return speech. She never thought she would hear that music again but it’s great to be back in TNA. She has grown wiser in the time since she left. Her dad told her that she’ll never miss what she has until it’s gone and that’s what happened with TNA. Friendships are more important though so she invites Velvet out here. They hug hello and Angelina says she never got to say goodbye.

Being apart for the last few years has made Angelina realize that Velvet made her who she is in this business. For years, Angel Williams (her ring name outside of TNA) wasn’t getting noticed but as Angelina Love she teamed with Velvet Sky and got noticed. Now every day she’s asked when the Beautiful People are getting back together and Angelina thinks the time is now.

The fans chant YES but Velvet isn’t sure because she’s found herself since Angelina has been gone. She even won the Knockouts Title for the first time and now she thinks she’s ready to move on. There will never be a bond as strong as the Beautiful People had and she wants to move forward. Angelina calls her dude and says there’s a ton of unfinished business for the Beautiful People. Love tries one more time but Velvet says she needs more time.

Willow vs. Rockstar Spud

We’re in early squash mode with Willow hammering away in the corner. A cartwheel splash has Sput in even more trouble and Willow dances a bit. Spud gets caught in the Tree of Woe and Willow gets his umbrella to blast Spud low for the DQ at 2:26.

Willow beats up the referee and pulls out a ladder before Pillmanizing Spud’s leg as revenge for costing Hardy the title. He stomps on it twice and hits a splash from the top of the ladder onto Spud’s chest, hurting the leg again in the process.  Bully Ray comes out as we take a break.

Ray says he can’t believe the fans are cheering for him. They say right before you die, your life flashes before your eyes. That happened to him when Anderson Mic Checked him into the coffin. He was going to give an explanation for what happened, but those four guys made this physical. If Roode had won on Sunday, he would have become just another Dixie Carter and that’s the last thing wrestling needs.

Ray wants Roode out here right now so here’s Bobby. He hits the ring and is immediately taken down so Bully can go get the tables. It takes too long though and Roode comes back with a spinebuster before setting up the table. The Roode Bomb is countered and Ray grabs a Cutter. A powerbomb through the table ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. Another good show here with stories making sense and good wrestling to back it up. Ray turning face makes sense and he’s still a good talker so he can back it up. Dixie is hopefully gone and Spud should be off TV as well. That being said, they rushed through the Ray story WAY too fast. Ray getting attacked and getting revenge could be spread out for a month but they did it in two hours. There’s hope for TNA, but I don’t believe they can make it last longer than two months.

Results

Abyss b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Eric Young interfered

Brittany b. Gail Kim – Rollup

Sanada/Tigre Uno b. Bro Mans – Moonsault to Robbie

Mr. Anderson b. Samuel Shaw – Mic Check

Rockstar Spud b. Willow via DQ when Willow hit Spud with an umbrella

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today’s Wrestler of the Day is Mr. Anderson.  Allow me to repeat myself.  Today’s Wrestler of the Day is Mr. Anderson.  Now laugh, because that’s funny or something.

While still in the indies, Anderson did some jobbing on the lower level WWE programs, including Velocity in August 2003.

Sean O’Haire vs. Ken Anderson

Sean slams him down to start and puts on a front facelock as the announcers talk about Ken Anderson of the Cincinnati Bengals. Anderson comes back with his double revoution spinning kick to the head but O’Haire comes back with a big clothesline. Sean kicks at the leg and hits the chinlock before kicking Anderson HARD in the back. Ken comes back with a nice dropkick but gets caught by another wicked clothesline. A gorilla press into the Widowmaker (O’Haire lifts him up for an AA but slams him back down instead of flipping him over) is enough to pin Anderson.

Rating: D+. This was just background noise while the announcers talked about the big stories in WWE at the moment. O’Haire is a guy I always liked and he had a ton of wated potential. Anderson didn’t get to do much here but his kicked looked good. The match was nothing more than a squash though.

Anderson signed with WWE in February 2005 and made his real debut on Smackdown in August 2005. After facing Eddie Guerrero in Eddie’s last match, Anderson would injure himself on a European tour and be out of action for about six months. Once back he started squashing jobbers again, eventually accepting an open challenge from Batista for Great American Bash 2006.

Batista vs. Mr. Kennedy

This was during the Kennedy is great and keeps beating ex-world champions but never wins the title himself because he keeps getting hurt period. This was supposed to be Mark Henry against Batista but he tore his knee or something and is out for a few months. Batista is coming back from an injury as well and it’s his first PPV match since December. Batista shows intelligence and jumps him during the Mic Drop. All Big Dave to start and they head to the floor. Kennedy goes into the steps and is busted a bit.

Ok so it’s more than a bit as there’s blood flowing down his head. He goes for a walk but tries to sneak in on Batista, only to get speared right back down. Out to the floor again and Kennedy rakes the eyes to take over. He chokes away because he really isn’t much as far as offense at this point. Batista is busted a bit.

Kennedy pounds him down in the corner and a bit more on the floor. Back in it’s time for a chinlock because those work so well right? He works on the arm which was the injury that put Batista out. For some reason he slaps Big Dave and pain is imminent. He sends Kennedy into the post three times then chokes to a DQ. Kennedy claims another former world champion.

Rating: D+. Just a brawl here with a weak ending. This is another example of where they booked themselves into a corner and the only thing they could do was have an ending like this because they couldn’t have either guy lose clean. Batista would get the title back in November while Kennedy would do the same stuff over and over again until getting hurt next year….again.

After dominating the midcard and having success in the main event for so long, Kennedy would receive a US Title shot against Finlay on September 1, 2006.

US Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Finlay vs. Bobby Lashley

Finlay is defending and Bobby Lashley is a surprise addition to make it a three way. Kennedy tries to form an alliance with Lashley but Bobby pulls him into a belly to belly suplex for his efforts. Finlay clotheslines Bobby down to take over and Kennedy comes in to help on the double teaming. Kennedy quickly turns on the champ and sends him into the post before hitting the Ken-Ton Bomb for two on Lashley.

Finlay comes right back and puts Kennedy in a Boston crab but Lashley is back to run them both over. Kennedy is sent outside and Bobby hiptosses the champion down. A big clothesline puts Finlay outside as well and Lashley rules the ring. Everyone gets back inside but Bobby quickly knocks the champion to the floor again.

Lashley hammers on Kennedy but gets rolled up by Finlay and thrown out to the floor. Kennedy kicks away at Lashley’s ribs but has to throw Finlay to the floor for about the fourth time in five minutes. Bobby heads outside as well but Kennedy kicks both of them down. Kennedy gets caught in the ring skirt though and Bobby scores with a delayed vertical suplex on Mr. Hornswoggle looks out from under the ring as we take a break.

Back with Lashley in control of Kennedy but Mr. escapes a powerslam. Finlay takes Lashley’s leg out to give Kennedy a two count and all three guys are down. Lashley gets double teamed in the corner again but the other two get in a fight over who gets to put the boots to Bobby. They get along well enough to beat on Lashley even more until Finlay clotheslines Kennedy and throws him to the floor.

Horny goes after Kennedy but Lashley gets back up and runs everyone over. A big spear drops Kennedy and there’s a backdrop for Finlay. Kennedy brings in a chair but the distraction lets Finlay grab that Irish club. Lashley spears him down though and nails a powerslam, only to have Kennedy roll Bobby up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. Nice match here but throwing everyone to the floor over and over again got annoying after awhile. Kennedy stealing the title made sense as he was always the guy that found a way to win after getting beaten on for long stretches in the match. Good stuff here but not a great match.

Next up in the parade of big matches was a match against the Undertaker at No Mercy 2006.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Undertaker

Kennedy is US Champion but that title is underneath Undertaker so this is non-title. Speed vs. power here as Undertaker throws him into the corner but Kennedy escapes. BIG boot takes Kennedy’s head off and it’s time for arm work. Out to the floor and Kennedy’s arm goes into the steps before it’s back inside the square circle. Wristlock is broken up so it’s back to the floor with Kennedy’s arm eating post again.

A boot to the shoulder keeps Kennedy in trouble and now it’s Old School time. Kennedy manages to armdrag him off the top and both guys are down. Kennedy pounds him in the corner but Taker snaps up and hits Old School for two. A running big boot in the corner misses and Taker is knocked into the barricade. Kennedy tries to dive off the apron but gets caught and rammed into the post. He hasn’t been able to get any kind of extended advantage at all for more than about 10 seconds.

Back in the ring and Kennedy pulls Taker through the ropes to get himself a breather. Kennedy drills him coming back in, getting two. The running hip attack to the guy that is on the middle rope gets two. The move Ryder calls the Broski Boot hits and Taker is in trouble. Taker fights up from his knees and knocks Kennedy to the floor. The legdrop across the apron connects.

Back in Kennedy hits a perfectly regular piledriver which Cole calls a Tombstone. It gets two and JBL says he’s speechless. WHY IS SOMEONE PILEDRIVING UNDERTAKER A BIG DEAL??? Cole freaks over it every time when ONLY Kane has had success with it. They even show replays of it. Back at Mania in 2011 they FREAKED when HHH hit one. I don’t get it.

Kennedy hooks a rear naked choke but Taker comes out of it with a Saito Suplex. Slugout is won by Taker with the flying clothesline. Snake Eyes is followed by the big boot and leg, but it only gets two brother. Chokeslam is countered and Kennedy hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. A high kick is ducked and there’s the chokeslam but no cover.

Last Ride is countered and they almost run into the referee. A buckle was exposed somewhere during this match and Kennedy rams Taker into it, followed by a clothesline to take him down. Kenton Bomb gets two so Kennedy is going to walk. Taker grabs the belt and hits him with it for the freaking LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. This was getting REALLY good at the end and then they screw it up with something like that. I mean, at least make it for the belt to make it worth something before you do something that annoying. Taker was actually feeling it tonight to the point that you might have thought Kennedy could pull off the huge upset. Good stuff here until the ending.

Just like his feud with Batista, Kennedy would win the first two matches against Undertaker but lose the blowoff match. Next up on his march through world champions would be ECW Champion Lashley at No Way Out 2007.

ECW Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Bobby Lashley

This is in the Kennedy is awesome and keeps beating world champions but can’t beat one in a title match period. Lashley comes out first and Kennedy tries to jump him but gets beaten down instead. Cole is almost unrecognizable at this point with his voice being so messed up. We make it into the ring with Lashley completely in control.

Back to the floor again with JBL talking about how great both guys’ futures will be. And never mind as we fight in the ring for awhile. Lashley uses pure power to destroy Kennedy for the most part as we wait for the inevitable mistake to allow Kennedy to take over. He gets a Rack, which someone needs to bring back as a finisher. Maybe Big Zeke? Kennedy rakes the eyes and then goes after the knee to take over.

Kennedy gets a reverse figure four, as in Lashley is on his stomach and Kennedy is on his back. He switches over to a half crab which is important. By switching holds like that you can still do very little but you get enough variety to keep things interesting. Lashley gets back into it but can’t use the leg.

JBL is doing the vast amount of the talking now so Cole can rest his throat a bit. Lashley can’t get a belly to belly and Kennedy counters into a DDT for a long two. Kenton Bomb misses as it eats knees and here comes the bald dude. The Boo/Yay stuff goes to Lashley and he starts throwing Kennedy around for fun.

Lashley gets the Rack again (complete with the line of “made famous by a guy that wasn’t nearly the full package like this guy is” from JBL) and drops to his knees for Shock Treatment ala Abyss. And there goes the referee. Kennedy heads to the floor and grabs a chair. Bobby gets popped by it but the referee doesn’t see it. He gets the chair to drill Kennedy which is good for a DQ win for Kennedy. Cole can’t talk like at all anymore.

Rating: C. Decent match for the most part but the ending was pretty weak. Kennedy took it to Lashley but he had no way to finish people for the most part yet which was his major downfall for the most part. He didn’t have a finisher until the Mic Check so he had to rely on rollups or quick pins which never worked for the most part. Decent match, bad ending.

Wrestlemania 23 was just over a month later and Kennedy was in Money in the Bank.

Mr. Kennedy vs. CM Punk vs. Randy Orton vs. Finlay vs. Matt Hardy vs. King Booker vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Edge

With this match, we start the tradition of having too many people in a single MITB match and overcrowding the thing. Everyone looks up at the case until Anderson goes to get a ladder. Orton heads to the floor to stop him as the big brawl begins. Finlay DIVES on everyone not named Edge, allowing the Canadian to make a climb, only to be stopped by Matt. They head to the floor, allowing Orton and Finlay to head up top for a brawl on the ladder.

They topple to the floor so it’s Jeff going up, only to be shoved down by Anderson. Booker goes to pull out a ladder but it’s Horny’s, meaning it’s only about two feet tall. Punk takes it away and pounds on people with it, only to have Edge take over again. This is one of those matches that moves too fast to really keep track of things. Punk is bleeding from the forehead as Edge bridges a ladder between the ring and barricade.

Back inside and Booker takes over with kicks and spinebusters for everyone in sight. Before climbing though, here’s a Spinarooni. The distraction lets the Hardys crush Booker with some ladders before Matt and Edge go at it a bit. The Hardys set up a ladder seesaw but Jeff is sent off the top to break up whatever they were going to do to Edge. Instead Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder, only to be sent to the floor by Anderson.

Anderson pounds away on Matt but the Kenton Bomb only hits ladder. Instead it’s Jeff with a Swanton to Anderson before the brothers team up to drop everyone in sight with the ladder. Both Hardys go up and start slugging it out on top of the ladder, only to be shoved into the top rope by Finlay. Edge hits the spear on Finlay and one for Orton and Booker as well. Kennedy and Matt take spears too and there’s one for Jeff to nearly complete the set. Punk jumps over Edge to send him into the corner and become the only man standing.

Punk puts the ladder around his head and spins around a bit to take everyone out until Edge thinks wisely and DUCKS, allowing him to take out Punk’s vulnerable ribs. Edge gets the big ladder and makes a climb, only to gets caught by Orton and shoved down to the floor. Jeff saves that though and climbs up on his own as Matt puts Edge on the ladder between the ring and the barricade. Jeff dives off the ladder THROUGH EDGE AND THROUGH THE LADDER! Needless to say, Edge and Jeff are DONE.

We’re down to six people in the match now and it’s Orton’s turn to take over with RKOs all around. He picks up a regular sized ladder but Punk knocks him down and sets up a second ladder in the middle of the ring. Apparently Jeff is still on the floor despite Edge being taken out. Orton and Punk both climb up and it’s an RKO off the top of the ladder to end Punk. Booker goes up but has to stop an RKO attempt with a Bookend off the ladder.

It’s Matt vs. Booker on the ladder but Matt drops down and threatens to give Sharmell the Twist of Fate, drawing Booker down. There’s the Twist to the King but Finlay (sporting a NASTY cut on the back of his head) shoves the ladder over. The Celtic Cross (White Noise) crushes Matt against the ladder but hurts Finlay’s back in the process. Finlay is barely able to stand so here’s Horny to climb for him.

Instead though Kennedy pops up the ladder….and gets smacked in the face by Horny. There’s a fireman’s carry roll off the ladder for the little guy’s efforts. Finlay destroys Kennedy with the ladder but gets knocked off the ladder by Matt. Now it’s Punk going up but Kennedy meets him on the ladder for a slugout. Punk shoves him off but Kennedy spears him in the ribs with another ladder, allowing Kennedy to climb up and win the case.

Rating: B. This was definitely the weakest of the matches so far as there were too many people in there and no one to have the big spots like Shelton. It’s definitely good but this one lacked the pop that most of these matches had over the years. Kennedy would lose the case to Edge a few weeks later.

Later on in the year Kennedy would turn heel again and face Shawn Michaels at Armageddon 2007.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Shawn Michaels

Kennedy says he’ll win pre match. Just a respect match here as far as I can tell. Kennedy takes over to start with a lot of basic offense focused on the back. Shawn tries to clear his head so Kennedy hammers on him a lot. Shawn is like wait a minute. I’m Shawn Michaels so let me chop you and sell like I’ve been shot and have a bad stomach ache. Due to the back work, Shawn can’t hit a suplex.

Kennedy tries a Mic Check but can’t it gets countered, injuring Kenderson’s elbow. Shawn, ever the psychologist out there, works on it. See how easy it is to do stuff that makes sense? Now why can so few people get that concept? Kennedy keeps trying to break the hold and finally sends both of them to the floor. That doesn’t go well either as his hand is slammed into the post.

Back inside and Shawn works on the hand and the arm. Shawn grabs a wristlock but Kennedy punches him through the ropes. That’s a new one. Back outside again and Shawn goes into the post. Well not really as he kind of slams against it. I don’t think there’s enough room for Shawn’s body inside the post. A running boot to a seated Shawn in the corner sets up a backbreaker for two.

In a nice bit of thinking from Kennedy, he jumps at Shawn from the middle rope but sees Shawn get his foot up so Kennedy stops his momentum and lands on his feet, avoiding the boot. He then sets for an elbow drop but Shawn rolls out of the way. Kennedy didn’t drop it right then but rather once Shawn rolled over, hitting Shawn in the bad back. Who says heels can’t be smart?

Shawn starts his comeback and chops away so he can hit the forearm and nipup. At least he’s putting a hand on his back for some selling. If he has a weakness, it’s his lack of selling injuries later in the match. There’s the top rope elbow and Shawn starts tuning up the band. I’ve never gotten how no one can hear the fans chanting along or hear Shawn stomping on the mat.

Either way he catches the kick and rolls up Shawn for two. Shawn gets a rollup of his own for the same. Kennedy hits a slingshot to send Shawn into the post and talks some trash. He punches Shawn with the left hand for no apparent reason and hurts it again, letting Sweet Chin Music (bad camera angle shows that it doesn’t hit at all, which is really good control from Shawn) end Kennedy.

Rating: B-. I liked this one as there was enough psychology peppered through it to make things work. Kennedy reinjuring his hand was a nice touch but you kind of have to wonder why he’d use his left hand for a punch. Kennedy wasn’t exactly known for his in ring abilities so this was a nice little surprise.

Soon after it was off to TNA, where Anderson would quickly get involved in a feud with Kurt Angle, leading to a big match at Lockdown.

Kurt Angle vs. Ken Anderson

This is standard rules but Anderson has the key. Not sure I get the point to that aspect as it’s bound be thrown around sometime. Also, I’d prefer a regular cage match but this is fine I suppose. Anderson has the key around his neck. Ok he has a chain around his neck with the key around it but you get the idea. Anderson goes for the door like 30 seconds in and like an idiot, he forgets about Angle.

Anderson accidentally leaves the key in the lock so there goes the point of the ladder match entirely. Angle is bleeding BAD already. Tenay says it was bound to happen at some point. At some point? I think every match has had that so far. This is one of the feuds that I’ve really liked for the majority of it. Angle is WORKING in there man. He’s still one of the best in the world when he works at it.

There is blood everywhere. Ok not really but it sounds good. Angle hits his run up the ropes and hit a belly to belly. Love that. Anderson uses his wrist tape to choke Angle out which is rather brilliant. Solid match so far. Angle gets his Germans. He hits about 6 or 7 of them and Anderson is just about out of it.

Angle goes for the door but stops. Dang it Kurt don’t be freaking stupid. Ankle Lock is on but you can’t win by tap out. And there’s the Mic Check. Yeah I’m stunned too. Anderson gets the lock open but Angle gets the Slam. And Angle locks the cage again. Ok then. And he throws the key away. Anderson freaks, even though there’s no roof on the cage.

Anderson tries to get out but Angle gets a German OFF THE TOP ROPE! SICK spot. Angle sets him for the moonsault but goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE! And he hits it. Yeah Angle still has it. Angle gets a key from….somewhere, but Anderson flips the double bird and is able to get a Mic Check.

We’re getting close to overkill here. Angle catches him with the ankle lock though and Anderson taps again. I smell a broken ankle. Anderson reverses but STILL can’t get out. Angel finds a chain or the Warrior Medal and chokes Anderson out with it in a reference to Anderson choking him out in the ladder match on Impact before walking out. GREAT match.

Rating: A+. Yeah I said it. Great match all around and the ending made sense given the way Anderson won the ladder match. This has been a great show and it needed a great match to get it over the hump. It just got that. Angle is still one of the best in the world and he can bring it.

After a very long summer angle involving THEY, Anderson would get one of the first shots at the now heel Jeff Hardy’s TNA World Title. First up though, he had to defeat Matt Morgan at Genesis 2011.

Matt Morgan vs. Mr. Anderson

 

I really hope this has an actual ending instead of a screwjob of some point.  Morgan grabs a headlock to start after the big match intros.  There was a fifteen minute time limit announced and I have a bad feeling that’ll come into play.  All of a sudden we’re talking about Ray Lewis and what he has next to his bed.  You get multiple sports in this company I guess.

They head to the floor with Anderson in trouble.  They have a ton of time here which means they’re likely going to stretch this out as far as they can.  A main point here is that Anderson’s head might not be right which has people scared.  Anderson works on the leg for a long time.  Tazz thinks Immortal wants Anderson to win here because he has a chink in his armor.  Makes sense.

Morgan gets a swinging chokeslam off the top and a clothesline to take over completely.  They slug it out from their knees and neither guy can take over.  Carbon Footprint out of nowhere takes Anderson down for two and Morgan isn’t happy.  Since one finisher gets two the other one has to as well.  They hit heads and Anderson gets a small package for the pin.  Yep that’s it.

Rating: C. Not a bad match I guess but this is supposed to be the major selling point for the show?  The ending came out of nowhere and felt completely flat if that makes sense.  This was ok but I still don’t buy either of these guys as a main event threat.  Nothing great at all but I think it’s setting this up.

Bischoff comes out and the title is on the line RIGHT NOW!

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

 

I have a really bad feeling the title is about to change hands.  Jeff comes to the ring smoking….a joint?  I must be seeing things.  Maybe they’re afraid of the drug charges?  Twist of Hate gets two as that move is killed more and more every match.  Another Twist of Hate gets two.  Anderson sends him to the floor by the belt as they’re making this kind of competitive.

Morgan takes Hardy’s head off with the discus clothesline out of nowhere.  He sends Hardy in for a close two.  They slug it out and Anderson takes over with a neckbreaker for two.  Jeff grabs a chair but Foley pops up to grab it away.  Here’s Flair to counteract Foley and get us our run-in quorum of the main event.  Hardy gets crotched on the top but manages to shove Anderson off.  Swanton gets two.

Anderson, of course, is bleeding from the head.  Hardy’s jeans are ripped.  He takes Anderson down and calls for Matt.  RVD runs out for the fourth run-in of the match and fights Matt off to the back.  Bischoff becomes the seventh person involved in the match by bringing in a chair but gets caught in a Mic Check.  Twist of Hate is countered into the Mic Check to give Anderson the title.

Rating: D+. Total and complete mess of a match with all kinds of people coming in while the selling from both guys was awful.  Also, no one can ever complain about SuperCena again after that performance by Anderson.  Anderson winning the title should have been a huge moment, but instead it’s going to be something that people see when they turn on Impact Thursday.  I’d be ticked off if I cared about this company, which is waning rapidly.

 

Anderson would lose the title back to Hardy a month later before getting another shot at Sting at Slammiversary 2011.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mr. Anderson

 

Sting comes in and jumps Anderson during the entrance.  He’s in all red here and has that paint on his face making him look like the Joker.  All Sting so far as Anderson can’t even get his shirt off.  Into the crowd they go and Anderson goes into a wall.  There’s black/gray around Sting’s mouth for some reason.  Anderson gets a quick reversal and that gets him nowhere at all as Sting pounds on him even more.

Up the steps they go even further and this is wasting a ton of time.  To the ring finally and Sting is sent into the post.  Anderson sends Sting’s hand into the steps and then pulls the arm around the post for awhile.  More F Bombs dropped as an armbar goes on Sting.  Clothesline puts Sting down again for two.  Anderson wastes forever and does Sting’s chest pound before missing a horrible Stinger Splash.

Modified world’s strongest slam gets two.  Anderson is covering a lot here.  Back to the armbar which makes some sense here at least.  Sting starts his comeback and pounds on his chest as he is known to do at times.  Clothesline sets up a backdrop and the splash in the corner.  Scorpion is set up….and here’s Bischoff.  Another Stinger Splash misses and Anderson gets a very close two.

Sting gets a regular DDT with the bad arm for two.  He tries something close to a Banzai Drop but gets caught in the little stingers which gets two for Anderson.  Mic Check hits on the second attempt for two.  Stinger Splash and the Death Drop hit but Bischoff interferes and messes with the count so there was only a two count instead of the three.  Low blow RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFEREE sets up the Mic Check and we have a new champion.  Wow indeed.

Rating: C. The chicanery hits again.  I really hope this doesn’t set up Anderson joining Immortal because it really seemed like it was dying there for awhile.  Bischoff is the source of drama again which is his custom.  Hopefully this sticks around so we don’t have Sting vs. Hogan for the title.  Surprising ending and it more or less locks up Angle winning tonight in the main event.

 

There wouldn’t be much else for Anderson for the rest of 2011, Anderson would spend most of 2012 chasing midcard titles. After missing most of the fall, he would join Aces and 8’s in December. He would serve as Vice President and not do much aside from not winning anything in the Bound For Glory Series. Anderson finally split from Aces and 8’s, earning himself a title shot against Bully Ray at No Surrender 2013.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

Last man standing with Ray defending. Anderson jumps Ray on the ramp to start and takes Ray into the ring for a whip into the corner. The champion is sent back to the floor as this is one sided so far. Ray is sent into the announce table and barricade so he hides behind Christy, complete with Hemme’s top opening (it’s similar to Lita’s outfits in the Rated R Superstar era) but the power of tape saving her.

Bully gets in a cheap shot and sends Anderson into the steps before asking Brooke for a chair. It takes forever to get there and Anderson gets in a shot to the ribs to take the chair away. He blasts the champion in the back and pounds him back into the ring. Ray goes up but gets hit low, allowing Anderson to hit a rolling senton. The fans are COMPLETELY behind Anderson here and him telling himself to get the tables makes them cheer even louder. Even Tenay is cheering for Anderson.

Ray takes him down with a boot to the face and gets in a chair shot of his own. The table is set up in the corner as we take a break. Back with Ray yelling at Hebner but Earl yells right back at him, looking like a heart attack is imminent. Ray shoves him into the buckle to knock him out but walks into a Mic Check onto the chair to lay him out. There’s no referee though so Ray gets up and hits a Bully Cutter to lay both guys down.

Cue Bischoff, Brisco and Knux to stare at Ray before stalking Anderson. Before they touch him, Brooke comes in with a low blow. Ray bosses them around and a Shield TripleBomb lays Anderson out. Ray helps Hebner up but Anderson is up at nine. Anderson comes back with right hands but Ray drops him. Why the referee isn’t counting Anderson when he’s down is anyone’s guess. Ray knocks Anderson out with the chain, drawing blood. Anderson makes it up to his feet AGAIN but staggers in front of the table in the corner. A spear through the table is enough to retain the title at 17:30.

Rating: B. This match did something that is the best sign you can have in wrestling: they had me believing that something was possible when there was no way it was going to happen. The crowd was WAY into Anderson here and that’s a good sign for TNA. They need some fresh blood at the top and it’s been awhile since Anderson was up there. Good stuff here but the crowd carried a lot of it.

We’ll wrap it up with their rematch from Turning Point 2013, with the future of Aces and 8’s on the line.

Mr. Anderson vs. Bully Ray

No DQ and it’s career vs. Aces and 8’s. Anderson is in long tights for the first time I can ever remember. The roster comes out to watch the match from the stage. Anderson jumps Ray during big match intros and hits him low while shouting his name a lot. They head to the floor with Ray ramming him into the steps but stopping to breathe a bit. Ray pulls out a table and we take our last break. Back with Anderson being suplexed into the ring and chopped loudly in the corner. There’s a table set up in the corner as well.

Ray takes off the chain to whip Anderson even more but Anderson takes the chain away and gets in a few whips of his own. Anderson loads up a big chained fist but gets sent to the floor instead. Ray pulls back the mats but Anderson backdrops Ray onto the concrete instead.

Knux saves Ray from being piledriven on the concrete but gets piledriven down onto the mats for his efforts. Back inside and Anderson hits the rolling senton but Ray fights out of the Mic Check. A spear puts Anderson through the table in the corner but it’s only good for two. Tazz hands Brooke the hammer but Anderson intercepts it and blasts Ray in the head. The Mic Check ends Aces and 8’s at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here but Aces and 8’s hasn’t meant anything in months so this isn’t the biggest deal in the world. I’m glad they’re gone for good and it’s a good feather in the cap for Anderson, but this is hardly some huge moment that changes wrestling forever. Fun match though.

Over his entire career, I’ve seen the potential in Anderson one time: the night he interrupted William Regal’s coronation as King of the Ring. You might notice I didn’t talk about that moment here, because it wound up meaning nothing. That’s Anderson in a nutshell: wasted potential. He hasn’t really won much in his career (two TNA World Titles and the US Title. That’s it for major promotions) and keeps getting sidelined with injuries. There are far worse wrestlers out there, but Anderson really never broke through that glass ceiling he spent so many years pounding on.

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Yeah, TNA still has pay per views.  It’s been six months since the last one, but TNA still have them.We’ll go with the main events first.  Magnus over Joe to retain the title.  THey’ve spent way too much time building up Magnus to have him lose his first PPV title defense.  Unfortunately TNA has gotten into this habit of building up long drawn out stories that can only really change at Bound For Glory, making the seven or so months leading up to them rather pointless.  I think that’s where we’re going here as Magnus’ title reign is built up as unbeatable until someone stops him at Bound For Glory.

Lethal Lockdown seems to be too easy to mess up.  At the end of the day, MVP’s team is just too strong to lose a straight match, but the last thing I want to see is Dixie begging to get power back.  The second to last thing I want to see is Dixie with all the power, but it seems that we’re going to get one of those things.  You know, because Dixie is what really drives TNA of course.  I’ll go with Team Dixie for the win in a screwjob ending, because that’s what TNA does when they have something good going.

Storm over Gunner with the Last Call.  Gunner isn’t a long term top guy and I think TNA knows it.

I’ll take Gail to win the Knockouts Title in the cage because we haven’t gone long enough without Gail talking about how she is the best Knockout in the world and issuing open challenges for the title because the idea of having a story in that division is just not going to happen no matter how long we need one.

There’s a six man X-Division tag with three guys from Wrestle-1 in Japan against Bad Influence and Chris Sabin.  I still don’t get how thi sis supposed to appeal to the American fans.  It helps a bit with the international fans, which is fine but it might be a good idea to focus on America where the business is based.  Does TNA think people are going to buy this show for Great Muta, who was a hot young act nearly 25 years ago?  The other guys are the current X-Division Champion who beat Aries for the title in Japan recently and a guy who doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page.  I get that the match will be action packed and fun, but it’s only going to do them so much good.  Then again I’ve never been a fan of the invasion angles at all.

Tigre Uno over Manik.  They’ve spent too much time building up Tigre with promos to have him lose his debut.

I’ll go with Samuel Shaw over Anderson, setting up a rematch down the line.

Ethan Carter III over whoever they bring in to face him in Angle’s place.

 

Overall Lockdown doesn’t really interest me all that much.  At the end of the day, they have eight matches on the card.  Two of them are with guys debuting for the company with no story and a third is a mystery opponent.  When you’re only running one PPV every six months, I need a little big more than a card with nearly half the matches having no backstory.  The show should be fun as TNA PPVs usually deliver, but this doesn’t blow my skirt up.  The fact that every match is in a cage makes it even worse.

Thoughts/predictions?

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 6, 2014
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re STILL in England and it’s the go home show for Lockdown. The main story coming into tonight is a six man elimination tag for the advantage in Lethal Lockdown on Sunday. TNA has been doing better lately but they need a really good showing on Sunday to take it to the next level. Given their track record, I’m hoping for good things tonight. Let’s get to it.

After the usual recap, here are Roode and the Bro Mans with something to say. The Bro Mans are champions again, having won the titles in Japan. Nice touch of continuity there. Roode says he and his team are ready for Lockdown and he wants MVP right now. Instead he gets Aries (wearing the X Title to take away the nice bit of continuity) who says that 10% of the pie isn’t much but it’s a piece and Aries wants half.

The Bro Mans say not so fast because they want a piece too. Roode says no because he’s the captain and he isn’t sharing. The top priority is winning the match and Aries says that isn’t a problem. There isn’t a single person in this company that can save MVP, so here are the Wolves and MVP to disagree.

MVP says he made a mistake when he trusted Aries, but he won’t be fooled twice in a row. He had to do some hustling to come up with another partner and he has made his decision. Before he can say anything, here’s Dixie Carter to cut him off. She doesn’t care who MVP’s partner is because she’s been in New York securing the victory for Team Roode. The company means everything to her and she’ll do anything to keep it under her control.

MVP understands but asks if Dixie wants to know the mystery partner. It’s a former world champion and that’s enough for Dixie to want to know. It’s Jeff Hardy and Dixie FREAKS. Dixie says over her dead body and MVP offers to send a wreath to her funeral. Roode jumps MVP and the six man starts before a break.

MVP/Wolves vs. Robbie E/Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

Elimination tag and the winning team gets the advantage at Lockdown. We’re joined in progress after a break with Robbie driving Edwards into the corner before it’s off to Roode for some kicks to the ribs. The villains take turns working over Eddie until he backflips out of a belly to back suplex and makes the tag off to MVP. The title belts are laying in the corner of the rung until Davey lays one of them on the floor. MVP hits a quick Drive By for the pin on Robbie at 2:00.

The Wolves hit a double kick on Roode for two but Aries comes in with a running dropkick in the corner to Edwards, followed by the brainbuster for the pin at 3:45 total. Richards and Aries come in for a slugout with Richards kicking Aries agianst the ropes but Austin coming back with a discus forearm to put both guys down. A double tag brings in MVP and Roode for a forearm and clothesline exchange that goes nowhere. Roode gets knocked down but Aries makes the save, allowing Roode to hit a clothesline to the back of MVP’s head for a pin (with Roode holding the feet) at 5:10 total.

So it’s Richards 2-1 against Roode and Aries. Austin starts by working over Davey in the corner and getting two off a bulldog. Davey is sent outside for a top rope ax handle from Aries but comes back with a dropkick to take out both heels. A running knee to Roode’s chest looks to set up the top rope double stomp but Bobby rolls away. The Roode Bomb is countered but Richards rolls into a half crab, only to have Aries come in with a chair to the arm for a DQ at 7:55 total. Edwards comes out to check on his partner and we take a break.

After a break there’s no official winner, but Earl Hebner gives them one hour to get Davey back in the ring for a match with Roode. The trainer doesn’t think it’s going to happen.

We recap Samuel Shaw and Mr. Anderson fighting because Shaw creeped Hemme out. Shaw says last week was beautiful and he’ll do something else beautiful in the ring tonight.

Samuel Shaw vs. Eric Young

Shaw comes out with a cup of tea. Christy isn’t in her usual ringside seat so Anderson comes out to do the intros instead. Shaw yells at Anderson and almost gets rolled up for the pin. Young hammers away in the corner but Shaw just smiles at him. Samuel hammers away in the corner as the fans call him creepy. Shaw yells at Anderson again and Eric hammers away and is sent to the apron for some strutting. A forearm to the head sets up a belly to belly for two. They head outside and Shaw throws the tea into Young’s eyes for a DQ at 2:23.

Shaw throws Young into Anderson and chokes Mr. out again. He says he’ll be going to claim what is rightfully his. Christy wisely walks away in the back.

Richards says he needs to go to the hospital but MVP has something to do. Davey looks confused.

Richards says he needs to go to the hospital but MVP has something to do. Davey looks confused.

Back from a break and MVP is looking for Aries. He goes into the locker room and yells at Austin over attacking Davey. MVP knows how things are working now.

We recap the Ethan vs. Angle showdown last week. Ethan comes in to see Dixie and she tells him to just focus.

Shaw is looking for Christy in the back. After a break he’s still looking and goes into the locker room. Instead he finds Velvet getting dressed and asks where Christy is. Velvet says the makeup room and runs off.

Here’s Ethan Carter III to call out Kurt Angle. If there’s one thing he learned last week, it’s never meet your heroes because they might sucker punch you in the face. Carter rants about all of the parts of Angle’s leg that he’ll injure and lists off all the people he’s beaten. Once he beats Angle on Sunday, he’ll be the American Icon. Angle finally limps out and says he’s ready to go now but Carter runs. Kurt goes to leave but Ethan jumps him to go after the leg. He slaps on a leg lock until referees make the save.

MVP talks to the Wolves and Richards says he’ll be standing up tonight.

Video on Kenny King being King of the Night. Nice idea at least.

Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa vs. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB

Madison jumps Gail to start and scores with a quick northern lights suplex. Off to ODB for a Bronco Buster but Tapa comes in and powerbombs her down for two. Back up and they slug it out until it’s off to Velvet vs. Alpha Female. Everything breaks down and Sabin goes after Velvet with a chain and yells at her a lot. Chris charges at her but gets low bridged to the floor. Alpha Female tries a full nelson but gets kicked in the face. In Yo Face is enough to pin Female at 4:17.

Rating: D+. This was a messy match and it didn’t go much of anywhere. I’m not sure why you would have Female lose this quickly unless she’s just there for the European tour. Madison and Velvet only had a few seconds here but that’s better than no build for their title match on Sunday. Yeah they have a title match on Sunday.

Shaw is still looking for the makeup room.

Willow is still creepy.

Shaw goes to find Christy but finds Anderson in a red wig instead. They fight behind a door and Anderson puts lipstick on Shaw’s head.

We recap Storm vs. Gunner.

Here’s Gunner to talk about the code he lives by. He takes every day at a time and he remembers a lot of days since he won that briefcase. This Sunday at Lockdown he’s inside a cage and that brings back a lot of memories for him. This brings out Storm (minus the catchphrase to start his music) who says it sounds like Gunner is just complaining about his bad luck. Gunner needs to pack a lunch on Sunday because it’s going to be an all day beating. Storm gets in the ring and promises to cut Gunner down before kicking him low. The Last Call to a kneeling Gunner knocks him cold. Apparently it’s a last man standing match.

Roode wants Richards in the ring right now.

Bobby comes out and wants the referee to count to ten so his team can win. Davey comes out around six and it’s time for our match.

Davey Richards vs. Bobby Roode

Bobby of course goes right after the arm and wraps it around the post. Back in and Roode drops a knee on the arm and stands around for a bit. Richards rolls to the floor and manages to crotch Roode as Bobby goes after him. Roode heads outside but gets taken down by a suicide dive, only to injure the arm even worse. Back inside and a missile dropkick gets two for Davey and he fires off some kicks to the chest. The Roode Bomb is countered into a half crab but Bobby rolls over and kicks at the bad arm. Richards goes shoulder first into the post and the Roode Bomb sets up the Crossface for the tap at 5:31.

Rating: C. Basic idea here but it did its job well enough. This give MVP’s team a slight disadvantage going into Sunday which is something they need to do given how one sided the match is on paper. Richards sold the arm well and it’s a decent enough story coming into the PPV.

MVP and Edwards make the save.

Tigre Uno is still coming.

Dixie tells Magnus to stop worrying and just win on Sunday. She implies his match means nothing to her.

Here are Magnus and Joe for their showdown to end the show. Magnus says the two of them have won titles and championships in Japan and here in TNA, including here in this building. Joe has had far too many chances to win the title but has blown it time after time due to his rage, and that’s exactly what’s going to happen on Sunday.

Joe says that he does have a rage problem because he wants to make people feel as much pain as he can. That’s exactly what he can do on Sunday because it’s Joe’s Rules, meaning he can beat on Magnus as long as he want and take the title from him. Magnus gets in a cheap shot and gets choked out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a good go home show but it didn’t do much for me. The heels getting the advantage in the cage isn’t a surprise at all and the matches were just ok. Joe vs. Magnus was a good build but I can’t imagine Magnus loses the title this early. It should be a good show on Sunday but this was just ok.

Results

MVP/Wolves vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Robbie E went to a no contest

Eric Young b. Samuel Shaw via DQ when Shaw threw tea into Young’s eyes

Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne/ODB b. Alpha Female/Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa – In Yo Face to Female

Bobby Roode b. Davey Richards – Crossface

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 27, 2014
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tazz, Mike Tenay

The main story coming out of last week’s show are Storm turning on Gunner to cost him the world title and the official announcement of Lethal Lockdown for control of the company. Bobby Roode will be captaining Dixie’s team but we’re not sure who will be joining him against Team MVP. Other than that we’ll likely get more build towards Joe vs. Magnus. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s events.

Kurt Angle is inducted into the Hall of Fame tonight. They couldn’t wait for a PPV weekend in nine days for that?

Gunner is looking for James Storm and promises him a beating.

Dixie Carter isn’t here tonight so Roode and Spud have match making authority. Nice to see that if one boss isn’t around, a bunch of others can take her place.

Here’s MVP to open things up with a long list of nicknames. First up, he guarantees that Gunner will get his title shot once he wins full control of TNA. However, that means that it’s Magnus vs. Joe at Lockdown for the world title. MVP brings out Samoa Joe to a very enthusiastic pop from the London crowd. Magnus comes out as well to some solid heat from his home country crowd. We get a clip of his title defense last week where Storm saves the title for the champ.

Magnus rips on London for slipping from a great city into a town ridden with crime, poverty and debauchery. As for MVP, Magnus is the only person that handles his career, so MVP needs to get on with whatever he’s saying. We’re here for a contract signing tonight and MVP tilts the advantage even further to Joe by making it knockout or tap out only.

Joe immediately signs but Magnus says he’s got a whole decks of cards left to play. He calls Joe an unrefined animal and his fans use horrible chants like Joe’s Gonna Kill You. Joe is a dangerous animal and Magnus is the man that will put that animal down. Magnus signs as well and tells Joe to do something about Magnus getting in his face. Joe headbutts him into the corner and ERUPTS on the champion with rights and lefts. He stomps Magnus down in the corner but referees pull him off.

We get a clip from a house show where the Wolves took the Tag Titles from the Bro Mans.

The Bro Mans and Zema are panicking over losing their titles and decide the easiest way to get revenge is to get on Team Roode. They go to see Bobby but he says Bad Influence wants in too. Tonight Roode is making a triple threat tag tonight with Bad Influence, the Wolves and the Bro Mans. If either the Bro Mans or Bad Influence win, they’re on the team. If the Wolves win, the search continues.

Bad Influence vs. Bro Mans vs. Wolves

Non-title and no entrances for anyone. Daniels runs Davey over to start but walks into some armdrags into an O’Connor Roll for two. Davey hooks a modified surfboard as Eddie and Kaz come in for a regular version of the same move to Kazarian. Things settle back down and it’s off to Kaz who walks into an armdrag of his own. The Wolves start speeding things up and working on the arm but Kaz is able to get Davey into the corner for a double team as Bad Influence takes over.

Daniels teases making a tag to a Bro Man but pulls Davey back in a smart move. Richards is able to get a hot tag to Eddie who cleans house and slams Kaz down for two. Robbie makes the save and Zema is already blowing that stupid horn. Bad Influence hits a quick powerbomb/neckbreaker combo for two on Edwards but Eddie comes back with a running Stunner out of the corner to Kaz. Everything breaks down and Davey hits the top rope double stomp to Kaz but Robbie comes in to steal the pin at 5:30.

Rating: C. So they’re putting a comedy team in a match for the future of the company. It didn’t work at Old School and it’s not likely to work here. Bad Influence are also a comedy team but at least they’re capable of having some awesome matches when they need to. The Wolves are growing on me and I don’t have a problem with them winning the titles so soon.

Ethan Carter III has selected a British wrestling legend as his opponent tonight and he’ll become the new face of American wrestling.

Bobby Roode recruits Austin Aries for his team.

Doug Williams vs. Ethan Carter III

The fans are entirely behind Williams and he jumps Ethan to start. Williams pounds away for a few moments before Ethan hits a quick low blow and the One Percenter for the pin at 1:20.

Carter goes after Doug’s knee post match.

James Storm arrives and comes to the ring after a break. He says he doesn’t run and asks Gunner to come out here if he wants an explanation for what happened last week. Gunner says this better be good. Storm says he screwed Gunner out of his title shot and had it planned out ever since Gunner stole the briefcase in Feast or Fired. The nail in the coffin was Gunner handing him the Tag Title briefcase like feeding scraps to a dog. Storm says Gunner should owe him a thank you for picking his career up off the ground.

Gunner says the sad thing is James Storm actually believes that. In the Marine Corps, a thank you was standing next to your friend no matter what. Gunner went over to war so that James Storm could sit here and drink those cold beers. Storm says it doesn’t matter if Gunner had lived or died but Gunner says the people would care. The fight is on and Storm swings a chair at Gunner’s head, only to hit the post instead. Storm runs off when Gunner gets the chair.

After a break Gunner says Storm won’t be able to run forever and he’ll have to go through Gunner.

Magnus is in the ring and looking disheveled after Joe’s attack earlier. He’s found someone to take care of Joe but of course they’re not from England. He went to Germany and found a natural born killer named Bad Bones, who I believe won the international Gut Check competition.

Joe vs. Bad Bones

Bones is a bald guy with a lot of tattoos and some muscles. He jumps Joe during the entrance but Joe pounds him into the corner and hits the Facewash. The MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch get the submission from Bones at 1:16. So much for Bones.

MVP asks Aries for his decision on Lethal Lockdown. Aries isn’t sure because he doesn’t trust either guy because you can’t do that in this business. He asks to referee their match tonight so he can make his decision up close and personal. MVP agrees.

It’s time for Angle’s Hall of Fame induction. JB gives him a very nice induction and we get a video that I believe aired when he was announced last year. Angle limps to the ring and is given a Rolex watch. He’s touched by the fans’ reaction and says the Hall of Fame is about the fans. TNA wouldn’t exist without them and he can’t thank them enough. He was supposed to accept this honor back in October but he wasn’t in a good place, either personally or professionally.

Angle says he’s in a better place now and thanks God for giving him the abilities he has. He thanks his wife and kids for their support and hopes he can make them proud. The talent in the back keeps him motivated and help him every day. Angle thanks each and every one of the fans and says it’s a great night to be Kurt Angle. That seems to be it but here’s EC3 to interrupt.

Ethan says he was touched by the ceremony and the video, but he has a tribute video of his own. We see a video of him attacking Kurt’s knee last week, complete with thought bubbles that aren’t particularly funny (“I am the new face of American wrestling”, because being the face of everything is a thing in wrestling now).

Ethan says he has big news and Angle invites him into the ring to share it with the world. He opens a piece of paper, with writing on the back saying he beat Angle and Sting. Apparently Angle has a torn ACL and MCL, meaning he requires surgery due to the attack at Ethan’s hands. His career might be over, so Ethan thinks Angle should retire. Angle gets in his face and asks why Ethan would do this when he knows Angle will tear his throat out.

Ethan says he knows Kurt is injured but Angle says you should go straight to the source. Carter: “Why? The internet is always right. Well at least 50% of the time.” Angle says the actual source is right 100% of the time. He has no torn ACL or MCL and knocks Ethan out of the ring. Angle says cut the music because he has an announcement. MVP has given him a match at Lockdown with any wrestler he wants, so guess who he’s picked.

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female vs. Madison Rayne/Velvet Sky

Alpha Female really doesn’t work as a name. It’s a brawl to start as Tazz talks about Alpha Female and Bad Bones, completely failing to be funny as usual. Tapa throws Madison around but it’s quickly off to Velvet vs. Female. Sabin tries to come in and go after Velvet but Alpha Female quickly saves him. Tapa misses a middle rope splash but Sabin offers a distraction, allowing Gail to cheap shot Madison. Tapa hits her over the shoulder Stunner for the pin on Rayne at 2:31.

The monsters beat down Madison and Velvet until ODB makes the save.

Tigre Uno is coming at Lockdown. It’s Extreme Tiger from AAA.

Samuel Shaw says people don’t understand. He was helping Christy Hemme last week and the people don’t understand that. He’ll make them understand right now.

Shaw comes to the arena and quotes Ralph Waldo Emerson, saying that to be great is to be misunderstood. Christy has misunderstood him so he asks her to get in the ring. He says there are certain men that aren’t respecting her and those men have been looking at her wrong. Shaw is here to protect her and wants everything from her. This brings out Anderson and Shaw says he’s one of those guys. Christy is lucky Shaw was there last week but Anderson tells him to shut up.

Whatever relationship Shaw thinks he has with Christy isn’t real but here’s what is real. Anderson rolls up his sleeves but Shaw says he’s been nothing but a gentleman. Even if he were to try something with her though, she would be receptive because women like her are always available. Christy slaps him in the face and Shaw hides behind her as Anderson comes in. Shaw shoves Christy onto Anderson and slaps the choke on Mr., pulling him down to the mat.

Willow is still creepy and still coming.

Storm and Gunner fight in the back until agents break it up. Gunner shouts that this ends at Lockdown.

Eric Young hopes Joseph Park comes back instead of Abyss.

Bobby Roode vs. MVP

Austin Aries is guest referee and wearing shorts ala Shawn Michaels on the first weekly Smackdown. Feeling out process to start with MVP taking it to the mat with a headlock. Roode fights up and they get in a jawing session until MVP runs him over with a shoulder block. A clothesline drops Roode again but it’s only good for a one count. Roode blocks a tornado DDT attempt by slamming MVP down onto the mat. A knee drop sets up a chinlock from Roode, followed by a hard clothesline for two.

MVP avoids a charge in the corner and hammers on Roode before taking him down with a nice high collar suplex. The Ballin Elbow sets up a fisherman’s suplex for two and we get a far too close shot of Aries. The Playmaker is countered and Roode charges into a boot in the corner. MVP charges into a spinebuster for two but fights out of the Roode Bomb.

The Playmaker connects for a VERY close two and MVP takes a second to question Aries. Roode comes back to trade forearms but MVP gets the better of it, only to get caught by an enziguri. MVP kicks out the knee and loads up the Drive By but Aries lays him out with a discus elbow, setting up the Roode Bomb for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: C. Basic match here as we were just waiting for the Aries decision to end the match. MVP is fine in this roll and there’s nothing wrong with him wrestling a match here and there. The match was nothing special and Aries being added to the team helps, but the Bro Mans are going to sink any hope Team Dixie has save for a screwjob.

Overall Rating: C+. Perfectly fine show here with a development to end the show and some decent matches in between. They’re filling in the card for Lockdown, even though there’s only ten days before the show. Either way, things are picking up a bit and it’s amazing how much easier this show is to sit through without Dixie hogging all the screen time.

Results

Bro Mans b. Bad Influence and The Wolves – Robbie pinned Kazarian after a double stomp from Richards

Ethan Carter III b. Doug Williams – One Percenter

Samoa Joe b. Bad Bones – Koquina Clutch

Lei’D Tapa/Alpha Female b. Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne – Over the shoulder Stunner to Rayne

Bobby Roode b. MVP – Roode Bomb

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 20, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re still in Manchester and the big story is the announcement of Lethal Lockdown between Team MVP and Team Dixie for control of the company in two and a half weeks. Last week’s show saw a huge emphasis on the MVP vs. Dixie story with very little else getting extended TV time so hopefully things are given more room to breathe tonight. The main event is Gunner cashing in his Feast or Fired case on Magnus for a World Title shot. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Nelson Frazier Jr.

The opening recap shows us Gunner’s road to the world title shot tonight which has been his dream since he was a kid. All he’s wanted to be is a champion and tonight is his chance.

Dixie ensures Magnus that something is a done deal and tells him to go to the ring and break some bad news. Magnus says if Dixie goes down, he’s not going down with her. The champ also tells Ethan that they need to get along, personal feelings aside. Ethan shakes the champ’s hand and they all head to the ring.

Magnus calls MVP out to the ring to make an announcement, as long as the fans sit down and be quiet while he does it. The champ says he isn’t impressed by people who glorify criminal conduct or people like MVP who have spent nine years in jail. Magnus warns MVP to never think about getting in the ring with him, because nine years in jail will be nothing like nine minutes in the ring with the world champ. MVP goes on a rant about how Magnus is always calling himself the champion and a real champion shouldn’t have to do that.

Enough of that though as MVP cuts to the chase: is the Lethal Lockdown match on or not? Magnus accepts on Dixie’s behalf but he won’t be in the match at team captain. He has bigger fish to fry than dealing with some 50 Cena wannabe. If MVP tries to mess with Magnus, he’ll make MVP his…..MVP: “Don’t say it.” Magnus says it anyway and the fight is on. Cue Ethan for the double team and we see Spud telling security to hold the Wolves back. Gunner finally comes out for the save and the heels run, only to have the Wolves show up behind them. Magnus shoves Ethan to them and a kick to the ribs drops Carter.

We recap Bobby Roode helping Magnus over and over again for a promised title shot, only to have Dixie back out of the deal. Roode had to beat Joe last week to get the shot but lost, sending him over the edge. Bobby responds tonight.

Back from a break and Ethan shouts at Magnus that he literally just threw him to the Wolves. Magnus says that it was in the best interest of the Carters and Ethan is ticked.

Samoa Joe is in the ring and says he gets the winner of tonight’s title match at Lockdown. That leaves him without a match tonight and that’s not cool. He’s here in Manchester to get into a fight so any member of Dixieland that wants a fight, come get it. This brings out Zema and the BroMans who surround the ring. Joe asks which it’ll be before saying he’ll fight all three.

BroMans/Zema Ion vs. Samoa Joe

Joe cleans house to start and sidesteps Zema’s middle rope cross body. The tag champions break up the MuscleBuster and Jesse hits a nice dropkick. Robbie drops a middle rope elbow and Zema gets two off a middle rope moonsault. All three of them hit charges in the corner but Joe pulls the BroMans into the way of a Zema missile dropkick. A DDT/Russian legsweep combo takes the champions down to the floor and there’s the suicide elbow. Back inside and Zema charges into the corner Rock Bottom, setting up the MuscleBuster and Koquina Clutch for the win at 3:38.

Rating: C+. This was the right way to use a comedy tag team and their goofy manager. Thankfully the Bro Mans didn’t lose the fall here, even though they got beaten up pretty badly. It’s a good way to make Joe look strong heading into Lockdown and that’s the right idea given the odds he’s up against.

Christy Hemme gets a new battery pack from a production hand.  After she leaves, Samuel Shaw comes up and destroys the guy before taking Christy’s old pack.

Bobby Roode goes in to see James Storm and says James is one of the guys that he’s been able to trust in wrestling. Roode apologizes for everything he’s done to Storm over the years and calls the Beer Money times special. Storm isn’t sure what to think and asks if Roode has been in his beer. He thinks Roode is retiring and tries to talk him out of it, saying Roode needs to slap the business back in the face and move on to the next day. They hug and seem to be on good terms.

Austin Aries comes in to see MVP and is offered a spot on the team at Lockdown. MVP calls it the anchor spot but Aries says he puts things over the top instead of dragging them down. Aries asks what’s in it for him and MVP makes some vague promises. Austin says he’s heard that before and MVP just says things will be positive. That’s not enough for Aries but he says he’ll think about it.

Video on the Maximum Impact tour.

Madison Rayne and I believe Gail Kim get in a fight in the back. The camera looked to be a regular handheld one instead of a professional one.

Gail Kim vs. Madison Rayne

This is a street fight and the title is not on the line. Madison comes out first and jumps Gail with a cookie sheet. Gail comes back with some choking with a kendo stick but misses a charge into the corner. Madison kicks her to the floor but Tapa dares her to come outside. The champ is happy to oblige and catches Tapa in a guillotine choke, kicking Gail in the process.

Tapa stays on her feet and drives Madison spine first into the apron. Gail puts on the Figure Four around the post but can’t hold onto it that long. Madison comes back with a shot to the face and a clothesline to the ribs which is called a spear. Tapa comes in but takes a cookie sheet to the ribs. The distraction lets Gail hit Madison with the belt for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: C. This was a nice fight but it needed a bit more time. Tapa continues to be a waste of a spot as there’s nothing to her other than she’s big and screams a lot. It doesn’t help that Gail, while very talented, has done almost everything she can do in TNA and there’s not much interesting she can do.

Anderson shows Christy pictures of his kids and Shaw isn’t cool with it.

Another Gunner video on wanting to be a wrestler since he was a kid and becoming a Marine. We hear from his family who are so proud of him. Well done video.

Kurt Angle will be inducted into the Hall of Fame next week.

Ethan says he can’t take anything away from Angle’s career and he’ll let Kurt announce his news next week. He won’t say what that news is but retirement seemed to be implied.

James Storm tells Gunner that this is his time. Gunner says he’s wanted this his whole life and gives Storm the Tag Title Feast or Fired case.

Here’s an emotional looking Roode for his announcement. He says he’s been proud to call Impact Wrestling his home for the last eleven years. As kids, a lot of us have a dream we want to achieve and he’s gotten to do that for seventeen years. Roode isn’t proud of a lot of the things he’s done in the past but he can’t change those things. The only thing he can change is the future and that’s why he’s here tonight. Tonight is his last night as a pro wrestler but the fans say NO.

For the last several months he’s looked in the mirror and only seen hate. He’s had to put up with Dixie’s nonsense for months now and he has to walk away. He thanks the fans but here’s Dixie to stop him from leaving. Roode doesn’t get to make that call because he still has a TNA contract. Dixie brings up Jeff Hardy, AJ Styles and Sting as people that just caused her problems.

She needs him but Roode says he doesn’t want more lies. Dixie apologizes but Bobby says it’s not his problem and he doesn’t want to be here anymore. She offers him the captain’s spot on her team at Lockdown, offering him 10% of TNA if he wins. He can even have his own lawyers draw up the contract. Bobby reluctantly agrees but threatens Dixie’s future if she screws him over.

A German wrestler named Bad Bones won the international Gut Check challenge. He says something in German but we see Shaw jumping Anderson and taking Christy away.

After a break Bad Influence offers their services for Lethal Lockdown but Roode tells them to prove it tonight. Bad Influence isn’t pleased.

Wolves vs. Bad Influence

Edwards and Kaz get us going and they hit the match for a nice technical sequence into a standoff. Daniels comes in with a cheap shot to Eddie but Edwards brings in Richards for a double Japanese armdrag. Kaz gets kicked in the head but Daniels sends Richards to the floor. Kaz drives him back first into the apron and sends him back inside for a two count off a clothesline.

A spinwheel kick gets two more on Davey but he sends Bad Influence into each other and makes the tag off to Edwards. An over the shoulder Stunner gets two on Daniels before Eddie throws Daniels into the air for a kick from Davey. A pair of top rope double stomps from the Wolves is enough for the pin on Daniels at 6:10.

Rating: C+. I like the Wolves far better as a tag team instead of singles guys fighting over Dan Severn. The match was good for the amount of time it had and I’d like to see the long form version between these teams. Edwards still comes off as the better of the two and I’d see him as having a better future as a singles guy

Shaw takes Christy to a room where she wakes up. He tells her everything is ok and chases off a cameraman.

Willow is coming.

Video on Magnus wanting to be a wrestler.

Roode vs. MVP next week.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Gunner

This is no countout and No DQ. After the Big Match Intros, Magnus bails to the floor before any contact is made. Back in and Gunner works on a wristlock but gets reversed into a headlock. The hold stays on for about two and a half minutes before Gunner comes back with a back elbow and a clothesline. Magnus comes right back with a knee to the back to send Gunner outside. The champ calls for help from the back but gets the Wolves and Storm instead as we take a break.

Back with Magnus putting on a camel clutch as Tenay tells us this is No DQ and No countout, which I don’t remember being announced at first. Gunner fights up so Magnus changes to a sleeper, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. It’s Magnus up first and the top rope elbow gets two. Magnus goes to the floor and gets the title belt but Gunner lifts him into a fireman’s carry. The champ escapes and both guys try cross bodies to give us another stalemate.

Ethan and the Bro Mans come in but the Wolves and Storm immediately come in to counter and they fight to the back. Gunner powerbombs Magnus down and hits a top rope headbutt to the ribs. Spud runs out and puts Magnus’ foot on the ropes and Gunner is TICKED. He goes after the Rockstar but gets blasted in the head with the title for a close two. Storm comes back out as Gunner starts Hulking Up. A Rock Bottom lays out Magnus and Gunner goes up again, only to have Storm superkick him out of the air, giving Magnus the pin at 16:38.

Rating: C+. This was a good match but the constant interference needs to calm down for a bit. I do like Storm turning as it means we don’t have to deal with him being the guy who used to be world champion a few years ago for two weeks. The match was going for an epic showdown but that doesn’t really work when we’ve been told about Gunner’s backstory over the span of two hours instead of say two months. Still though, good stuff and an actual match instead of the insanity with Sting and AJ’s shots at Magnus.

Overall Rating: B-. SO much better than last week. First and foremost, they kept Dixie to just a few segments tonight instead of about 87 last week. The Shaw vs. Anderson stuff helped as well as it sets up stuff for the future and gave us something intriguing tonight. They also started setting the stage for Lockdown which is getting closer and closer. The show wasn’t great but it was such a jump up over last week that it was far easier to sit through.

Results

Samoa Joe b. Bro Mans/Zema Ion – Koquina Clutch to Ion

Gail Kim b. Madison Rayne – Kim hit Rayne with the title belt

Wolves b. Bad Influence – Top rope double stomp to Daniels

Magnus b. Gunner – Pin after a Last Call from James Storm

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Impact Wrestling
Date: February 13, 2014
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

The UK tour continues as we head into England for the first time this year. The main stories coming out of last week are Samoa Joe officially being #1 contender over Bobby Roode and an MVP vs. Dixie summit that went absolutely nowhere. Lockdown is less than a month away so odds are we’ll be hearing about Lethal Lockdown and the rest of the card soon enough. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of MVP standing up to Dixie for all of her evil deeds in the last few months and promising changes to end Dixie’s party.

No time is wasted on getting to Dixie this week as she and her cronies are in the ring to start the show. Dixie says she clearly hasn’t lost a wink of sleep over MVP’s threats and the odds of him taking over the company are about as good as her having a bad hair day. Dixie brags about Magnus but Ethan takes the mic and says he’s the one that ended the career of Kurt Angle.

Magnus takes the mic as well but has to wait for a YOU SOLD OUT chant. It’s nice to be back in Manchester because it means another year before he has to be back here again. People like Manchester make him feel ashamed to be British because he’s not from the north, nor is he a paper champion. He’s a man who recognizes opportunity and there is no opportunity in Manchester, other than a chance to be smacked in the face by the world champion.

The fans aren’t impressed so Magnus shifts his focus to MVP. He doesn’t care what jail cell MVP came from but we need to get the pecking order established. It’s Magnus on top, Dixie second, everybody else, and then MVP. Magnus isn’t for sale but here are MVP and Joe with something of their own to say. MVP sucks up to the crowd and says that Joe will be challenging Magnus at Lockdown, which seems to take the champion by surprise.

This brings out Gunner with the Feast or Fired case, which will be cashed in next week on Impact. Dixie says not so fast, because Gunner has to face Ethan Carter for the briefcase tonight. MVP one ups her by putting EC3’s Tag Team Title briefcase on the line as well, but makes it a ladder match with both briefcases on the line. MVP tells “C-3PO” that if anyone tries to cheat in this match, he’ll be out here to level the playing field.

Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III

Dang they’re not wasting time tonight. Carter heads straight to the floor to start but Gunner is waiting for him and heads back inside for a running knee and a fallaway slam. Gunner goes to get a ladder but Carter dropkicks him off the apron and sets up the ladder himself, only to have Gunner send him into the buckle.

The ladder is sat in the corner and Carter is sent flying into the steel, only to have Gunner get the same treatment. He’s still able to powerbomb Carter down for the save but Magnus comes in and shoves the ladder over, only to draw in James Storm for the save. This brings out MVP who makes it a winner take all tag team ladder match at about 4:30.

Rating: D. This is one of the things I can’t stand about modern wrestling: wasted gimmick matches. Why in the world did they need to have a ladder match, only to throw in another one a few seconds later? On top of that, a gimmick match is supposed to attract viewers, but that usually requires more than five minutes’ warning. How good of a ladder match can you have with about four minutes of action?

James Storm/Gunner vs. Ethan Carter III/Magnus

Joined in progress with Storm in trouble and Magnus driving the ladder into Gunner’s back. Gunner is laid across the ladder and splashed across the back before both heels drop him ribs first onto the ladder. Magnus rams the ladder into Gunner’s face and loads up the ladder but Ethan tries to climb. That’s not cool with the champ who wants to go instead. They get in an argument, despite it not being clear who gets the case if Magnus pulls it down.

The fight lets Storm come back in and clean house and Ethan is double hiptossed onto the ladder. Magnus saves his partner from the Gun Rack but Storm hits a Cactus Clothesline to send himself and Magnus to the outside. Gunner comes back in with a swan dive to Carter and goes up to pull down both cases for the win at 5:00.

Rating: C-. Better match here but man alive enough with the five minute gimmick matches. We just saw two ladder matches combine to last under ten minutes and it doesn’t really solve anything. In short, there was no reason for these matches to use ladders other than it sounds cool on paper. Pay no attention to the fact that if you weren’t watching in the last twenty minutes, you would have no idea they were taking place.

Anderson says he’ll win tonight because he has family and we get to see a picture of his twin daughters.

Spud has divided the office in half and makes sure that Dixie has more flowers on her side. The Bro Mans come in and want to know what Dixie is going to do about Gunner and Storm having the briefcase. Yelling ensues when MVP comes in and says Dixie’s promises mean less and less every day. MVP says people don’t want to see lawyers and want to see action in the ring. What would be fair is to strip the champions of the titles but instead he’ll give them a six man tag match against the Wolves and a mystery partner, right now.

Bro Mans/Zema Ion vs. Wolves/???

The mystery partner is Samoa Joe. Davey starts with a Tajiri handspring into a kick to Godderz’ head before a few headbutts from his parters are good for two. Off to Edwards vs. Robbie with Eddie snapping off a standing hurricanrana and a few chops. A running knee to the face gets two and it’s quickly back to Davey who gets two off a chop from Edwards. Zema adds in a knee from the apron but Davey grabs him by the head and knocks him to the apron.

The distraction lets E get in a cheap shot and the heels take over for the first time. Zema stomps away before it’s back to Robbie for an elbow to the jaw. Heel miscommunication puts the Bro Mans down and it’s hot tag to Joe who cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Wolves hit stereo suicide dives to the floor as Joe makes Zema tap with the Clutch at 5:37.

Rating: C. This was fine though I’ve never been big on the Wolves. I was hoping the Bro Mans would be allowed to be a bit more serious, but at the end of the day they’re a comedy team so this is what you had to expect. I’d be fine with the Wolves becoming Tag Team Champions but it was nice to have a non-champion take the fall here.

Velvet Sky begs Dixie to avoid a match with Chris Sabin but gets turned down. MVP isn’t cool with that but Dixie reminds him that he’s not a wrestler. Spud laughs at him, but MVP says he’s got his gear and faces Spud next.

We recap Eric Young vs. Joseph Park/Abyss. This would be the first non-Dixie related segment of the entire show and we’re halfway done.

Here’s Abyss without the mask to call out Eric Young to see what he’s done. Abyss is under a hood like Kane was after he lost his mask back in 2003. Eric stops at ringside but Abyss asks him to come closer unless he’s afraid. Young gets in the ring and says last week he proved all he needed to prove. Park asked him to find Abyss and that’s what he did. Abyss holds up the mask and says it’s the reality of what he did last week. The hood comes back and Park says he is Abyss but Young cuts him off and says he showed Park who he is.

Park shouts at Eric and asks who either of them are because Young doesn’t know. Abyss has destroyed his body and the lives and careers of others. The scars and blood tell his story but he can’t be that man anymore. The violence and destruction have to stop but Young says he can help him. Abyss screams that he doesn’t want Eric’s help and that he needs to find someone who understands him. He drops the mask and walks away.

Earlier today Samuel Shaw tried to help Christy with her luggage but she’s nervous. He agrees to keep it professional and takes off his glove to shake her hand. Shaw looks at his hand and slowly gets on the bus.

MVP vs. Spud

That was a nice fifteen minute break but now it’s back to Dixieland. Spud stalls on the floor before the bell while MVP lounges on the top rope. MVP goes after him but Spud gets in a cheap shot on the way back in to get things going. He pounds away but makes the mistake of slapping the boss in the face. A facebuster sets up the Ballin Elbow and the Drive By kick to the head for the pin at :59. That’s exactly what it should have been.

Bobby Roode is furiously looking for Dixie.

We get a creepy promo of a guy in the woods holding a black and white umbrella, wearing a black and white mask and dressed all in black. He recites poetry and is apparently named Willow. Apparently this was Jeff Hardy in a new gimmick.

Dixie is on the phone when Roode comes in, demanding a title shot. He doesn’t like being called a sore loser and says she doesn’t want him against her.

Chris Sabin vs. Velvet Sky

Sabin offers her a free shot because this is what Velvet has always wanted. Velvet kicks him in the knee and goes for the groin but Sabin is wearing a cup. Like an idiot though he takes it out to show off and gets hit low again, allowing Velvet to pound away. Cue a big woman with a bleach blonde mohawk over dark hair to destroy Velvet with a full nelson. Sabin is very pleased. No match obviously.

Ray goes into Anderson’s dressing room and looks through his stuff, including the pictures on his phone. He calls Anderson’s wife and says this is the phone call she’s been dreading her entire life. Ray says “no, not yet, but he’s coming home in a coffin. Tell the twins daddy says goodbye.”

Roode is in the back and says he lost it and that this has to come to an end. It’s over and he can’t take this anymore. He has his jacket and bag with him, saying he might have something for next week. Security comes in and says he has to leave which Roode does without incident.

We recap Ray vs. Anderson in the casket match. Ray is angry at Anderson for ending Aces and 8’s and has gotten far more serious as a result, even threatening Anderson’s children.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Casket match. Anderson has some of the ugliest green tights I’ve ever seen. Ray takes off his shirt and reveals what I believe is a Liverpool jersey to anger the fans. Anderson takes him down and sends him into the corner before dropping him with a neckbreaker. The jersey is ripped off and stomped on by Anderson before they head outside. Mr. spends too much time deciding where to throw his shirt and Ray gets in a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Anderson using a chair to knock a chair into Ray’s face and sliding in a table. Anderson is bleeding from the mouth and Ray kicks him in the face to take over. Ray rubs the blood on his own face and pounds at the cut before throwing the casket into the ring. Anderson gets crotched on top and superplexed back down but Ray can’t get the lid on the casket.

Ray raises up a chair to crush Anderson but a low blow stops him cold. Instead he powerbombs Anderson through the table and earns a THIS IS AWESOME chant. Ray loads up a piledriver in the casket but Anderson counters into a Mic Check and puts on the lid for the win at 12:50. The lid didn’t actually close but it was close enough.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but after all the garbage we’ve had to sit through tonight I’ll take anything. Ray has been an awesome heel throughout this story and I would have liked it more if he had won, but the company is dying for top faces at this point and Anderson is as good as anyone else they could use.

In the back we get even more Dixie vs. MVP with Carter offering him a buyout. She offers him a contract and MVP is impressed but says no. Dixie calls him crazy and MVP says he’s a wrestler so there might be somet truth to that. A proposal is made for Lockdown: Lethal Lockdown with Team MVP vs. Team Dixie for total control of the company. Dixie keeps up her Stephanie McMahon style acting and finally agrees.

Overall Rating: D. Impact wrestling is a two hour show. Tonight, approximately an hour and a half were spent on Dixie Carter vs. MVP or something directly related to that story. Here’s what wasn’t related to it: Eric Young/Abyss segment (8 minutes), Christy Hemme/Shaw segment (2 minutes), Ray vs. Anderson (13 minutes), Sabin vs. Sky (5 minutes) and the Willow promo (1 minute). That’s it. That’s everything on the show that wasn’t related to a single storyline.

Even Immortal didn’t make Impact that much about themselves and I didn’t think things could get worse than that. Dixie vs. MVP is fine for a story, but you need SOMETHING that isn’t related to or a result of that story. There’s some interesting stuff in TNA, but the same story being pounded into our heads like this make it a lot less interesting to sit through.

Results

Ethan Carter III vs. Gunner went to a no contest

James Storm/Gunner b. Ethan Carter III/Magnus – Gunner pulled down the briefcases

Wolves/Samoa Joe b. Zema Ion/Bro Mans – Koquina Clutch to Ion

MVP b. Spud – Drive By

Mr. Anderson b. Bully Ray – Mic Check into a casket

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Old School
Date: February 7, 2014
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

At least they advertised this one. This is the newest One Night Only show with a slightly more obvious theme. Looking at the card though, there isn’t much to see here that’s old school. Speaking of old school, as in something we’ve seen before, this show contains the fifth time that James Storm and Bobby Roode have been in direct competition against each other and their third singles match in just ten shows in this series. Come up with something new already. Let’s get to it.

By the way, I’m aware that this show if officially titled #oldschool. I’m going to assume you know why that’s stupid and why I’m calling it a name normal humans might use.

The opening video discusses the theme of reigniting old feuds. That’s better than the usual tournament, but I’m not sure Old School is the best name for that idea. It’s kind of misleading.

We’re already proving my point about the name: they’re using the word hashtag every time they say the name. It sounds so stupid and I can’t emphasize it enough.

The set is different again, but this time there’s a small lighted entrance for the guys to come to. It looks like the WWF set from the early 90s which isn’t a bad thing.

Austin Aries vs. Chris Sabin vs. Sonjay Dutt

These guys have actually feuded for years, dating back to the Austin Starr days, so they’re keeping up the gimmick through the first match. Tenay and Tazz get on my nerves about four minutes into the show, talking about what it means to be the best man that ever lived and implying three way escapades of a different sort. Sabin chills on the floor while Aries and Dutt run the ropes without much contact being made.

Sabin tells Sonjay he sucks and gets inside, only to walk into a Japanese armdrag from Aries who rides him on the mat for some humiliation. Austin lays on the top rope because that’s the kind of guy he is and all three guys are finally in the ring together. Dutt and Sabin double team Aries in the corner and take their turns charging at him, only to have Chris try a quick rollup to tick Sonjay off. Dutt does the same and there’s another argument to make sure we have every three way trope checked off the list.

Sonjay snaps off a hurricanrana on Aries as Tazz name drops Mike Adamle because commentary in TNA is a joke. Now it’s a Michael Cole reference as Tazz makes the only insightful comment he’ll give all night: he’s always paired with guys named Mike. Aries is placed on the top rope but Dutt and Sabin get in an argument over who gets to do the superplex. Austin fights them both off and we go WAY old school with a double noggin knocker. Both other guys are sent to the floor for a double double ax handle from A Double.

Back in and Aries hits a missile dropkick on Dutt but misses the running version in the corner as Sabin steps aside. Sonjay and Sabin get in another argument with Chris hitting a quick enziguri for two before Dutt sends him to the apron and kicks Aries in the face. Sabin is knocked to the floor and Aries hits a quick brainbuster for the pin on Sonjay.

Rating: C-. Pick a three way match that you’ve seen before, give it about eight minutes and you’ll have this match. It wasn’t anything special but that’s the kind of show you should expect with this series: something you’ve seen done better before but it’s what you’re in for with the reduced price.

Tommy Dreamer gives a serious promo on Bully Ray, talking about their history together and mentioning Ray invading Dreamer’s House of Hardcore show. He holds up a kendo stick and says he may not be Luke Skywalker and this may not be a lightsaber, but he’s cutting the evil fat out of Ray tonight. That may take a lot of carving.

Video on Ethan Carter III as the gimmick takes a nosedive.

Ethan comes out to call out an opponent as even the announcers realize that calling Ethan old school is absurd. The fans tell Ethan that he can’t wrestle and he chants back by alternating with “Yes I can” and “I’m very good.” He gets some cheap heat by making fun of the Yankees and says Dixie has allowed him to pick his opponent tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

So to clarify, we’re getting storyline development for a storyline that isn’t going on anymore on a theme show that almost no one is going to buy because TNA can’t put together a full card without this filler. Dewey comes from his other job at the merchandise table (he really does that at live events) but doesn’t want to fight. Carter pokes him in the chest and insults Dewey’s social status, which if finally enough for the redneck to fight. Barnes takes Ethan down by the legs but Carter rams him into the buckle and talks trash. The bulldog driver ends Barnes in just over a minute. I’m so glad this got PPV time.

With his back to the camera, Ray talks about meeting Tommy Dreamer back in 1992 and becoming close with him over the years. The word friend is unique in wrestling because Ray doesn’t have that many of them. Twenty five years later, Dreamer started his House of Hardcore promotion and invites Terry Funk instead of him and that’s just not how you treat a friend. We even get clips from House of Hardcore 2 with Ray invading and lighting a table on fire. Tonight Ray is going to beat Dreamer like you beat a friend of 25 years.

Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is falls count anywhere. Ray talks about ending Terry Funk’s career in this building and how he’ll do the same to Dreamer tonight. They stare at each other to start until Ray yells about Funk even more, earning him right hands to the face. Dreamer clotheslines him down but Ray takes him into the corner for some right hands. We get the Flip Flop and Fly from Tommy to send Ray outside as the fans are into this so far.

Tommy is sent ribs first into the barricade but Ray stops to yell at Hebner, allowing Dreamer to suplex Bully down on the floor for two. Back in and Ray counters a bulldog with a belly to back suplex before heading outside to get a table. Dreamer baseball slides it back into Ray’s face but Bully easily blocks a DDT attempt. A splash onto Dreamer on the table is good for two and it’s time for the chain.

Ray gets in another argument with Hebner, allowing Dreamer to get in some kendo stick shots for two. Tommy whips at the knee with the chain but Ray pokes him in the eye to get a break. Another table is sent inside but Ray finds a much more entertaining toy: a cheese grater. Ray tries his own Flip Flop and Fly but Dreamer takes away the grater and attack’s Ray’s crotch to be extra evil.

Tommy pulls out a piece of the barricade but Ray kicks it into his face to prevent further damage. Ray takes too much time going up top for some reason and gets caught in a Death Valley Driver off the ropes through the table for a close two. Dreamer goes up but gets hit in the ribs with a piece of barricade before being superplexed down onto the steel With nothing else to do, Ray pulls out another table and lighter fluid. Again it takes too long and Dreamer blasts him with a kendo stick before spraying the lighter fluid on the table. The distraction lets Ray hit him low and the Bully Cutter is good for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was the kind of match that they needed to have with a lot of time letting Dreamer seem like he had a chance. I’m still not wild on them using freaking House of Hardcore to set up a match at a TNA PPV but it’s not like TNA has anywhere else to build a story from.

Joe talks about his history in TNA and how he’s always answered the call when he had to. Tonight he gets a world title shot at Magnus, who he at least has a history with.

Here’s Eric Young with something to say. He says he’s very old school, which is actually true in his case. Young declares himself the president and gives us a gift of Velvet Sky. Eric calls her his favorite Knockout ever but begs us not to tweet it to ODB. Eric has a toast for the fans but Bad Influence interrupts. Mike: “You can’t interrupt the president!” Taz: “This is wrestling. Everyone interrupts everyone.”

Kaz says no one is more old school than they are and no one is hotter than Velvet Sky. They’re the best tag team in the Biz-A-Ness so you have permission to worship them. This brings out the Bro Mans to say that they’re new school and school is in session right now. Velvet isn’t a real woman, but the Bro Mans know what one is, so here’s Lei’D Tapa. Eric makes a six person tag and appoints himself referee.

Velvet Sky/Bad Influence vs. Lei’D Tapa/Bro Mans

Jesse and Daniels get us going with Christopher grabbing a quick headscissors. Daniels cartwheels over Godderz and pops him with a right hand before it’s off to Robbie who charges into an armbar. Kaz comes in with a kick to the back and an elbow drop for two before slamming Robbie face first into the mat for another near fall. Kaz misses a charge and falls out to the floor, only to have Robbie miss the same move and crash even harder.

Back in and Tapa wants Kaz but it’s off to Velvet to fire up the crowd a bit. Sky kicks away at the large leg but Tapa just shoves her away. Velvet blocks a charge coming into the corner but walks into a spinebuster to change control on a dime. The female looking one is sent across the ring for a tag off to Daniels who armdrags Robbie down with ease. Everything breaks down with Bad Influence cleaning house and sending the Bros out to the floor.

Things settle down again with the Bro Mans double teaming Daniels down and stomping away until Robbie drops a middle rope elbow for no cover. Tapa comes in and drops a leg on Daniels before dragging him over to the corner for a tag to Robbie. We hit the chinlock until Daniels fights up and scores with an STO, allowing for the hot tag to Kaz.

Kazarian speeds things up and cradles Jesse but adds a northern lights suplex on Robbie at the same time for a double near fall. Tapa runs over Bad Influence but Velvet takes her down with a cross body. Velvet is thrown over the top to crush Tapa again but Daniels has to escape a Bro Down. The High/Low out of nowhere is enough to get the pin on Jesse.

Rating: D+. Not bad, even though Eric meant nothing at all. Velvet did her thing here by looking hot on the apron and doing a few moves at the end to make sure people knew she was more than just eye candy. Bad Influence worked perfectly well as faces which says a lot about them given how awesome they are as heels.

Video on Monster’s Ball and how insane it can get.

Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy

Obviously Monster’s Ball, basically meaning hardcore. They actually shake hands to start before Abyss shoves Hardy down. Abyss runs him over again and stops a comeback attempt with a running clothesline. The first weapon brought in is a chair but Hardy knocks it out of Abyss’ hands and hits a quick mule kick. Poetry in Motion sends Abyss outside and a running clothesline off the apron drops both guys. Abyss is up first and bridges a table between the ring and the barricade as he’s done before.

Hardy fights out of the chokeslam attempt but is sent HARD into the post to put him down again. Back in and Abyss wedges a chair into the corner but Jeff blasts him with another chair to get a breather. That’s fine with Abyss who sends him face first into the wedged chair for two. Jeff’s forehead is cut open.

It’s thumbtacks time but Hardy fights out of another chokeslam attempt and snaps off some forearms. The legdrop between the legs has Abyss in some trouble and the Twisting Stunner puts him down again. Jeff goes up but Abyss pelts the chair at his head, knocking Hardy through the bridges table in a nice looking bump. It’s only good for two and the kickout doesn’t get the reaction they were hoping for.

Abyss heads outside again and brings in the spiked 2×4 called Janice. Hardy moves to avoid a bad case of death and Janice is stuck in the turnbuckle. The Whisper in the Wind COMPLETELY misses Abyss and the replay makes it look even worse. Jeff picks up Janice but walks into the chokeslam onto the tacks which is always a good looking spot. Jeff’s head landed in the tacks and he has to pull the tacks out. Awesome visual.

That’s only good for two as well though so it’s barbed wire board time. Hardy counters another chokeslam and dropkicks Abyss into the barbed wire. Jeff finds another barbed wire board and sandwiches Abyss between the two of them, setting up the Swanton for the pin despite the tacks still being in his back.

Rating: B-. This took time to get going but the ending was far better than I was expecting. The problem here was the lack of a reason for the violence. The guys didn’t really hate each other (they shook hands remember) so it was just violence for the sake of violence. Still though, good match and a nice surprise given what I was expecting. The tacks in the head was a sick thing to see too.

Kurt Angle talks about going old school (minus the hashtag because Angle doesn’t like sounding like a dolt) with Mr. Anderson tonight.

Video on Angle vs. Anderson which actually was one heck of a feud back in the day.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Anderson does a nice heel move by teasing throwing his shirt to the crowd but dropping it on the apron instead. Technical stuff to start with Angle taking it to the mat but getting kicked away into a standoff. Angle knocks Anderson into the corner and pops him with an uppercut, only to be send shoulder first into the post. Anderson goes after the shoulder with an armbar but has to escape an Angle Slam attempt and chop block Kurt down to the mat.

Mr. starts going after the knee now by cannonballing down off the ropes before wrapping it up in the corner. Off to a leg bar but Kurt punches him in the side of the head to escape. Anderson goes up but dives into a boot to the jaw to put both guys down. Some clotheslines by Kurt set up a German suplex but the Angle Slam is countered into the rolling fireman’s carry for two.

The Mic Check is countered into the ankle lock but Anderson rolls Angle out to the floor. Back in and Angle runs the corner for the belly to belly superplex and it’s back to the ankle lock. The same counter saves Anderson again and the Mic Check gets two. The Angle Slam connects a few seconds later for the abrupt pin.

Rating: C-. This was the abbreivated version of their match and the lack of time took away a lot of what makes these matches good. It also doesn’t help that there’s no personal reason for these two to fight other than they used to fight in the past, which is the general problem of this entire show.

Bobby Roode talks about his history with James Storm and how they were good friends but make better enemies.

Video on Roode vs. Storm. You all must know this story by now.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Last man standing. A quick shoulder block gets three for Roode and it’s time for a slugout. Storm takes over with an atomic drop and a clothesline but Roode avoids two Last Call attempts. Bobby heads outside but gets suplexed in the aisle for a seven count. Storm sends him into the steps but and barricade before taking him back inside for an enziguri off the apron. Roode counters a suplex to the floor and dropkicks James into the barricade.

Storm is up at about seven and heads back inside, only to get caught in a Blockbuster for another close count. James fights up with kicks and punches followed by a Russian legsweep to put both guys down. Roode comes right back with a spinebuster but Storm is up at six. The Roode Bomb is countered into a Backstabber from Storm followed by the Eye of the Storm for about five. They head outside again for another kick from Storm but Roode gets up in time again.

The weapons are brought in with Storm putting a trashcan between Roode’s legs and blasting it with a crutch. Roode comes back with a hard clothesline but takes too long getting a trashcan ready and walks into the Last Call. Bobby makes it up at about 9.75 but the fans weren’t buying it because that was just one finisher. James sets up two chairs next to each other but Roode escapes the Eye of the Storm and Roode Bombs James onto the chairs for an eight count. With nothing else to do, Roode handcuffs Storm behind his back and cookie sheets/trashcans/beer bottles him down for the ten count.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match but much like Orton vs. Cena, the match has been done so many times that it’s almost impossible to care. This feud has used the same tropes over and over again and the interest just isn’t there for me anymore. It also doesn’t help that Storm almost never wins any of these matches, making him look even more like a choker and/or a loser.

Magnus says there’s an irony in the name of this show because he’s not old school at all. What is old school though is what it says on his title: wrestling. He’s a wrestler, meaning that he’ll beat Samoa Joe in a wrestling match where all of the rules are followed to the letter.

Video on the history of Magnus and Joe from being Tag Team Champions to the Mafia to Magnus’ heel turn.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Samoa Joe

Big Match Intros kill even more time before we get going. Joe takes him into the corner to start but the champion slaps him in the face like the evildoer he is. A right hand sends Magnus to the floor and he grabs the mic, saying that under British wrestling rules, closed fists are illegal. Magnus demands that Joe receive his first warning and apparently it’s two warnings for a DQ.

Back in and they fight over the arms as the announcers talk about ESPN reporters. Joe no sells an elbow to the jaw and runs Magnus over with one of his own before ripping his skin off with chops in the corner. A knee to the chest gets two for the Samoan and there’s the corner enziguri to set up the Face Wash. Magnus comes back with a running clothesline and throws punches in the corner for no warning. Outside now with the champion dropping an ax handle off the apron for two as the frustration is starting early tonight.

We hit the chinlock on Joe followed by another back elbow to the jaw and the second chinlock in a short span. Not exactly the most thrilling match in the world here. A HHH knee to the face drops Joe again but Magnus takes his time covering. Joe catches Magnus coming off the middle rope in an atomic drop followed by the snap powerslam for two. Magnus’ leapfrog is countered into a powerbomb into the Boston crab into the STF in the middle of the ring. Joe turns that into the Rings of Saturn but Magnus gets his foot on the rope.

Magnus comes back with a Michinoku Driver for two and the top rope elbow gets the same. With nothing else to do he goes and gets the title belt but Joe easily takes it away. That goes nowhere but Joe ducks a right hand a German suplexes the champion down. Magnus fights out of the MuscleBuster and counters the Clutch with a jawbreaker, bumping the referee in the process. Now the MuscleBuster connects and another Hebner slides in for two. Ethan Carter tries to interfere but gets rammed into the barricade, allowing Magnus to hit Joe with the belt to retain.

Rating: C. Not a bad match but the British rules thing went nowhere. It was fine for what it was and at least it gives a reason for the Ethan match earlier (he had a reason to be in the building for the main event). It’s nice that they actually gave the main event some importance but there’s still not enough here to hold much interest.

The traditional highlight package takes us out.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s not as good as Hardcore Justice 3 but this was fine for a One Night Only show. I can’t emphasize enough how much easier this company is to get through when Dixie Carter and the stupid power struggle isn’t taking up time. It’s still not great, but it goes from horrible to ok just like that, which is as good as you can get from TNA at the moment. The gimmick wasn’t terrible and thankfully they got it back on track after the second match. Nice show tonight but nothing worth going out of your way to see.

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