Monday Night Raw – February 7, 1994: Oh That Didn’t Work

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 7, 1994
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bastion Booger

We are fresh off of the Royal Rumble and on the way to Wrestlemania, but that is going to prove tricky. Bret Hart and Lex Luger are the co-winners of the Royal Rumble and that means we are going to need to figure out more than a few things. Other than that, Wrestlemania is going to need so work done so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of 1-2-3 Kid stealing IRS’s briefcase last week. Razor Ramon and Marty Jannetty then saved the little thief from getting what was coming to him.

Opening sequence.

Vince McMahon introduces Bastion Booger (oh boy) and promises to introduce us to Thurman Plugg, whose friends call him Sparky! Booger actually talks, which is more than I was expecting. The card is run down and Booger eats a lot.

Smoking Gunns vs. Reno Riggins/Barry Horowitz

We hear about Booger wanting to host the Oscars instead of Whoopi Goldberg as Billy armdrags Riggins down a few times to start. Riggins gets sent outside and needs a meeting with Horowitz (Barry recommends more patting on the back) before coming back inside to get his arm cranked again. Bart drops Riggins with a suplex as Booger thinks he should be part of a tag team. Vince: “What about Roseanne Barr?” After some jokes about Freddie Blassie’s upcoming birthday, Bart brings in Billy for a top rope splash/something like a powerbomb combination to finish Riggins.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here but egads it is going to be a rough time to listen to Booger all night long. His voice is weird enough and then hearing him make jokes about pop culture and current stories doesn’t make it better. That being said, the Gunns continue to be one of the better teams of their generation and it is fun going back and seeing them do their thing.

We look back at Owen Hart turning on Bret Hart at the Royal Rumble.

Owen is happy with what he did after Bret cost him the Tag Team Titles.

Bret can’t let this keep going and thinks he has to do something about Owen.

Owen Hart vs. John Paul

Owen rips up some Bret Hart sunglasses that he teases giving to a fan for some good heeling. Fans: “WE WANT BRET!” Booger: “I WANT PIZZA!” Owen works on the arm to start and cranks away, only to get elbowed in the face. We talk about some weight loss show as Owen hits a backbreaker. Booger still wants pizza but Vince pitches ICO-PRO instead. That doesn’t work for Booger, as I guess he doesn’t want it. A snap suplex has Paul in trouble but he manages to send Owen into the buckle. That just earns him the spinwheel kick for two as Owen pulls him up. The enziguri sets up the Sharpshooter to end Paul.

Rating: C. I can go for more of Owen but EGADS the commentary is killing this show. Anyway, Owen is on the way to a showdown with Bret, whenever they get around to announcing the show. Another total squash, which unfortunately was more about the annoyance from Booger than anything else.

Paul Bearer is in the graveyard and insists that Undertaker may be gone but he has never left us. He comes to the graveyard to be closer to Undertaker’s spirit and you must have faith in the fact that one day, he will rise again.

The WWF Fan Festival is coming. That would be the forerunner to Axxess.

IRS vs. Marty Jannetty

IRS accuses the locals of being a bunch of tax cheats, as is his custom. Vince hypes up the Fan Festival as a way to get in the ring, get a photo with Paul Bearer, or MEET MARTY JANNETTY! IRS slugs away to start and gets his with a dropkick that didn’t look so great. Back up and the jumping back elbow sends IRS outside for a breather as tends to be his custom. We hit the pause as Booger and Vince talk about pizza.

Back in and Marty grabs a headlock takeover before working on the arm. Jannetty throws him outside for a change and gets posted for being such a cheater. A sunset flip gives Jannetty two back inside but cue the Quebecers as we take a break. Back with the Quebecers having been ejected following a double stomping of Jannetty during the break. IRS grabs the abdominal stretch with one arm and the rope with the other as Booger now wants hot dogs and hamburgers.

With that broken up, we hit the chinlock for a bit as Vince and Booger thankfully run out of food jokes. Jannetty fights up but here is Johnny Polo for a distraction as a faceplant looks to finish IRS. Cue Razor Ramon to cancel out Polo so the Quebecers come out as well. A sleeper has IRS in more trouble but Polo breaks up a slingshot and IRS steals the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a match that should have been better as you had two talented stars in there but Jannetty wasn’t exactly looking lively. I’m sure I couldn’t imagine why that was the case but it didn’t exactly work well. IRS was his usual slow paced self which works well if you have someone more high energy to work off of him. Jannetty is capable of doing that but it wasn’t happening this time.

Post match the Quebecers and Razor get inside for the brawl but Jannetty makes the save, likely setting up a pretty good tag match.

Yep, in two weeks (no show next week due to the annual Dog Show), Razor and Jannetty get a Tag Team Title shot against the Quebecers. Booger eats hot dogs as a result.

Thurman Plugg vs. Duane Gill

Plugg starts fast with a snap suplex as Booger chokes on a hot dog. Gill gets knocked into the corner and kicked in the ribs, setting up a powerslam. Vince switches his mind and says that the Tag Team Title match MIGHT take place in two weeks as Plugg hits another suplex. The Overhead Cam (top rope knee) finishes Gill off.

Rating: C-. What do you say about a guy named Thurman Plugg who is occasionally called Sparky? It’s one of the all time lame gimmicks and there isn’t much that anyone could do with the thing. Having a race car driver as a wrestling occupation is fine, but what is he supposed to do with that stupid name?

It’s the Wrestlemania Report so we start with the “historic” coin toss that determined Lex Luger gets to face Yokozuna first at Wrestlemania. Bret Hart will get a shot at the winner, whether he beats Owen Hart in his own first match or not. As screwy as this is, I’ll take it over what would be a triple threat today.

Jim Cornette rants about Yokozuna having to face Lex Luger because he already got his chance.

Also at Wrestlemania: Crush vs. Randy Savage in a weird falls count anywhere/Last Man Standing hybrid that was memorable but didn’t really work.

Crush vs. Thornberg

Crush hits a headbutt to start before snapping him down into a Fujiwara armbar. Vince talks about FOX offering Diane Sawyer $10 million for….well something I guess. More pounding ensues as Booger wants to get to the Madison Square Garden concession stands. A gorilla press into a legdrop of all things gives Crush the easy win.

The Tag Team Title match is on in two weeks.

Johnny Polo and the Quebecers aren’t happy.

Since the Dog Show is in two weeks, Booger eats some dog treats.

Men On A Mission, the Bushwhackers, Doink and Dink all bark to end the show. Thank goodness.

Overall Rating: D. This was brought WAY down by the commentary, as the joke got old in about four minutes. On top of that, it’s too early to really get the meat of Wrestlemania set. There are pieces of it set up, but they are too far out for that to matter. The highlight of the show was a pretty lame Marty Jannetty match and that should tell you all you need to know about this week.

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania V (2015 Redo): Print All The Money

Wrestlemania V
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s back to the same arena as last year for an even longer show. Yes after the marathon that was Wrestlemania IV, this show is actually a bit longer despite there being no tournament. The main event scene is really just a sequel to last year’s match though so the same setting makes sense. Let’s get to it.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin Robin (half sister of Jake Roberts) sings America the Beautiful and does a decent job. Jesse of course isn’t impressed and doesn’t bring up Donald Trump in the front row again this year.

King Haku vs. Hercules

This is as high as Haku ever got on his own as succeeded Race as the King due to Race’s injuries. This isn’t for the crown though and Hercules is now a face (Heenan had tried to sell him to DiBiase, who referred to Hercules as a slave. This didn’t sit well and Hercules claimed that he was his own man) in powder blue trunks. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Hercules comes back by throwing Haku into the air and just letting him crash to the mat.

Heenan’s advice doesn’t do Haku much good as Hercules drops some elbows but stops to walk around. A second Heenan distraction works a bit better though and Haku gets in some cheap shots to take over. Back in and we hit a bearhug on Hercules to fill in some time but he breaks free and gets two off a cross body. Some clotheslines set up something from the top but Haku gets up a good looking superkick to knock Hercules silly. Back up and Hercules grabs a belly to back suplex but rolls his shoulder up to pin Haku at 6:53.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but this was a strange choice for an opener. I mean did they really think that it made sense to push Hercules as something special? At the time they were actually pushing him as a third Mega Power, which meant “the guy that would take a fall in a six man” but it was really just in name only. This was a pretty pedestrian power match but that superkick to stop Hercules was a nice touch. Haku always had a good superkick and it was cool to see him use it, even in a nothing match like this.

The latest pretty boy tag team called the Rockers refer to themselves tag team specialists and say they’re ready for the Twin Towers (Akeem, formerly known as the One Man Gang and now a dancing African along with the 6’6 380lb Big Boss Man).

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

The Rockers are hungover beyond belief here. Boss Man goes after Marty (Jannetty, partner of Shawn Michaels in case you don’t know the Rockers) and gets decked by Shawn from behind. Shawn punches Akeem to get the big man’s attention before doing the same thing to the Boss Man. The Rockers start in on Akeem’s arm but he throws Marty into a bearhug from Boss Man and adds a standing splash to crush Jannetty between the two of them.

More splashes connect and the Towers’ manager Slick says they need a black referee. Why he wants this isn’t clear but he was shouting it pretty loudly. Marty finally avoids a charge to send the Towers together and Shawn gets the tag to help double team Akeem. They whip him across the ring over and over before a double shoulder gets two. It finally gets down to one on one and Akeem just ends Shawn with one of the hardest clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”

Boss Man misses his top rope splash though and the Rockers double dropkick Akeem to the floor. They mostly miss stereo missile dropkicks to Boss Man and everything breaks down with Boss Man catching a diving Shawn in a spinning powerbomb. That awesome landing isn’t enough so it’s Air Africa (running splash) from Akeem for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C+. This was fun for how well the Rockers bumped for the monsters here. That clothesline and the powerbomb to Shawn were particularly awesome as Shawn looked dead off both moves. The Twin Towers had just come off feuding with Hogan/Savage but for some reason it never led to the Tag Team Titles or even a serious shot at them.

DiBiase loves getting to be around the rich people in Atlantic City, even if he’s wrestling a commoner like Brutus Beefcake.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

DiBiase’s Million Dollar Title (he couldn’t win the WWF World Title so he made his own) isn’t on the line because Brutus hasn’t earned a shot. Ted shakes hands with Trump before coming in and Donald seems intrigued by the belt. Brutus has his awesome theme music now and it makes his entrance a lot better. Virgil stays in the ring for the first minute or so of the match while DiBiase talks trash to Beefcake.

Brutus gets tired of waiting and backdrops DiBiase out to the floor, followed by some slams and a clothesline to put him right back to the floor. This really hasn’t been a good return to Wrestlemania for DiBiase. He’s already gone from the main event to the third match on the card and now he’s getting beaten up.

Back in and even more right hands stagger Ted until Virgil trips Brutus to give the boss an opening. A middle rope elbow gets two for DiBiase and a suplex sets up the Million Dollar Dream. Brutus grabs the rope and makes his comeback, sending Ted face first into the buckle ten straight times. DiBiase finally knocks Brutus to the floor where Virgil gets in a few shots. Ted follows and they brawl to a double countout at 9:57.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There wasn’t much of a story to this one and they just did moves to each other for about ten minutes. It’s strange as these two would work well together with Brutus’ great charisma being able to power a sweet comeback. Brutus was never great but the fans loved him and he was adequate enough to work a passable and fun match. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case here but at least they tried.

Post match Brutus cleans house with the hedge clippers to claim a moral victory. As usual, Jesse is on point by calling that assault with a deadly weapon.

Earlier today the Bushwhackers were at the annual Wrestlemania brunch and ate a lot. This isn’t particularly funny.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

The Rougeaus are now managed by Jimmy Hart and All American Boys from Memphis. Butch trips on the way to the ring (to be fair the aisle has steps) and Jesse accuses Gorilla of being drunk in the casino the other night. The Bushwhackers steal Jimmy’s jacket but the Rougeaus save it from being destroyed. So they are good for something. Jimmy gets inside to collect his jacket and gets crushed between the brothers to send him right back to the floor.

Luke and Raymond officially get going as Gorilla questions the Rougeaus being Americans just because they moved here. Jesse: “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” That escalated quite quickly. The brothers double team to take over as Butch is being forced out of the ring and we get to the bizarre part of the match (yes the bizarre part of a Bushwhackers’ match). Raymond lifts Luke up for a slam and Luke intentionally rubs Raymond’s crotch. His hand moves up and down multiple times and that’s all it could have been. I’m guessing it was a rib but it’s quite the jarring visual.

Jacques puts on an abdominal stretch and Raymond flips in over the top for a superkick to Luke’s ribs. They stop to pose though, allowing Luke to crawl over to tag Butch, setting up the Battering Ram (Butch holds Luke’s head and drives him into the ribs) and a double stomach breaker to pin Raymond at 5:09.

Rating: D-. This was a comedy match minus most of the comedy. The Bushwhackers are the definition of a comedy team for kids and there’s nothing wrong with that. These teams feuded for the better part of ever and it was the same result almost every time. You could have cut this out and no one would have missed a thing. Well Raymond might have without that slam but I don’t want to think about that anymore.

The Bushwhackers lick interviewer Sean Mooney on their way up the aisle. Mooney: “Words cannot describe what it’s like to be licked by a Bushwhacker.” I speak from experience to agree with him.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

This is the debut of Perfect’s trademark singlet. Perfect trips on the same step that got Butch. Blazer is Owen Hart in a mask, meaning this has potential to be really good. Feeling out process to start with Perfect taking him into the corner and slapping him right in the mask. Blazer will have none of that and dropkicks Perfect over the top with Perfect doing his awesome bumping to get outside. A baseball slide (nowhere near common yet) staggers Perfect even more and there’s a second dropkick to put him down again.

Blazer’s top rope splash hits knees and Perfect finally gets a breather. These are quite the high spots for 1989. A reverse chinlock doesn’t get Perfect anywhere and Blazer gets two off a belly to belly. Blazer’s crucifix gets a VERY close two but Perfect just blasts him in the face with a forearm. The PerfectPlex ends Blazer at 5:51 and keeps Perfect’s record spotless.

Rating: C+. Good match here but they could have done something really special with more time and a more main event style. Blazer was an excellent high flier (especially for this time) and Perfect was already looking like a polished veteran. It’s not great but this was a fun match while it lasted.

Jesse is presented to the crowd for the third year in a row. For some reason Gorilla is surprised and says he was set up for this one.

Yesterday, Mr. Fuji ran a 5K in a tuxedo and snappy bowler hat while barely breaking a sweat. This is to prove that he’s ready for the handicap match for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania as they try to make this mean something.

Run-DMC performs the Wrestlemania Rap. Was Gladys Knight busy this year?

We recap Demolition vs. the Powers of Pain (Warlord/Barbarian) which started back at the Survivor Series. Mr. Fuji turned on Demolition to join the Powers of Pain, leading to a title match at the Main Event. Fuji threw salt in Ax’s eyes for the DQ, which somehow resulted in the Powers of Pain getting a rematch here in a 3-2 handicap match where Fuji can help his team win the titles.

Demolition is ready to beat up Fuj the Stooge.

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Demolition is defending but Fuji isn’t the worst addition to the challengers. It’s not that well known but he spent more days as a member of the World Tag Team Champions than anyone in company history at over two and a half years holding half of the titles. He’s 53 here and was a champion as recently as 1982 so it’s not like he hasn’t been out there in 20 years. Fuji throws his salt and bows before we’re ready to go.

Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax taking over and quickly handing it off to Smash for an early neck crank. Gorilla calls the challengers a mongrel team. Demolition is a pair of brawlers but the Powers of Pain are mongrels? That’s quite the stretch Monsoon. Barbarian comes in but gets elbowed in the face three times in a row for his efforts. It’s all Demolition to start until Barbarian chops Smash down to the mat in a pretty rare sight. Warlord comes back in and is immediately double clotheslined but Ax makes the mistake of going after Fuji to change control for the first time.

Fuji comes in for a chop and a falling headbutt which looked a little bit low. Slow stomping ensues, which you have to expect from guys like this. Fuji actually goes up top and misses a…..I’m not sure if it was a legdrop or an elbow and it’s Smash coming in to clean house for some polite applause. Everything breaks down and Fuji throws salt in Warlord’s eyes by mistake, setting up the Demolition Decapitator (backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination) to pin Fuji and retain the titles at 8:55.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was two teams who wrestled the same style which almost never works. Fuji being in there was a nice way to keep the Powers of Pain from getting pinned, probably to allow for house show rematches. Still though, nothing to see here and the fans have made no secret about the fact that they’re just sitting around waiting for Hogan vs. Savage.

Tony Schiavone (he had a pot of coffee for the company in the late 80s and early 90s) is thrown out of Savage’s locker room as the champ shouts that he’s ready for Hogan.

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Garvin is a brawler who didn’t do much in the company. Before the match, we have to pause for the return of Jimmy Snuka. It has nothing to do with the match but he’s back after nearly four years away. Totally pointless cameo that makes me think it wasn’t meant to air here.

Bravo attacks from behind and forearms Garvin in the back as Gorilla and Jesse argue over how strong Bravo really is. A kick to the chest gets two for Dino and even Jesse rips on Bravo for thinking that would get the pin. Garvin suddenly starts his comeback with a bunch of right hands (his finisher back in the NWA) and a sleeper but Bravo is right in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Ronnie but he walks into the side suplex for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D. This would have been a lame match on Superstars and it makes Wrestlemania? Like I said, so much of this card feels like they’re trying to fill in time and that really shouldn’t be happening on the biggest show of the year. This easily could have been cut off to save about six minutes and keep the crowd from getting so bored.

Garvin beats up Frenchy Martin because he’s a sore loser.

Brainbusters vs. Strike Force

The Brainbusters (Gorilla: “Two really tough dudes!”) are Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard with Heenan in their corner. Strike Force has been inactive for a long time due to Martel being injured but he begged Tito to reform the team. Blanchard starts with Martel and Arn is cheating just a few seconds in with a knee to the back. Everything breaks down and stereo dropkicks put the Busters on the floor.

Back in and Martel takes Anderson, the power of the team, to the mat in a test of strength. Blanchard fights up but Tito gets in a blind tag to put Tully in a Figure Four. Martel puts Anderson in one as well but the threats of a disqualification breaks them up. Strike Force tries another blind tag but Santana’s flying forearm hits Martel by mistake, knocking him out to the floor.

The Busters take over on the distracted Santana but he gets two off a middle rope cross body. Arn puts him back down with a knee in the corner as Martel is still shaken up by the forearm. Tito slams Anderson off the top (that might have been a mini tribute to Flair) and goes for the tag but Martel drops to the floor and walks out. So Tito is alone against the Brainbusters and this doesn’t bode well. The yet to be named spinebuster plants Tito, who is still looking over at the empty corner. A spike piledriver puts Tito out of his misery at 9:13.

Rating: C+. Fun match here which was more of a way to set up the Martel vs. Santana feud which went on for well over a year. It’s a simple story and a great way for Martel to look like a jerk, which made for a solid heel turn. The Brainbusters were going to become a much bigger deal and would finally end Demolition’s title reign by the end of the summer.

Martel says he’s tired of carrying Santana, who has always been holding him back. Gene is livid over Martel’s actions. Like more livid than he is on a day to day basis.

It’s time for Roddy Piper’s big return with a live Piper’s Pit. Fink gives Piper a big introduction but we get Brother Love (a heel character who parodied TV evangelists of the 80s) in a kilt instead. Love says his guest is brother Rodney and we get an outstanding Piper impression as Love plays both host and guest. This doesn’t last long so Love brings out the real guest: loudmouthed talk show host Morton Downey Jr. who was a forerunner to Jerry Springer and chain smoked (cigarettes, which Gorilla calls weed).

After a few insults from Downey, here’s the real Piper to wake the fans up. Piper starts asking Love questions but won’t let him answer because he didn’t want to know that badly. He makes fun of Love’s red face but Love stands up to him. Love: “You can’t scare me!” Piper: “WAH!” Guess what happens. Piper brings up all the gifts that DiBiase has given Love and thinks Love is wearing a fake Rolex. Downey throws cigarettes at Piper as Roddy asks if Love is any part Scottish. If he is, there shouldn’t be anything under that dress.

They argue over who is wearing a dress and who is wearing a kilt with Piper threatening to bite Love’s face off if Love touches Piper’s kilt. Piper rips Love’s kilt off to reveal red underwear and Love bails. So it’s just Piper vs. Downey now and Morton starts blowing smoke in Piper’s face, which Piper doesn’t approve of. Piper asks why Morton Downey Jr.’s father isn’t named Morton Downey so Morton implies he slept with Piper’s mother. Apparently Morton used to have a bunch of warts on his face but he gave them to a homeless warthog. Piper: “I didn’t know your girlfriend was homeless.”

Downey does his ZIP IT catchphrase and they just keep going. Fan: “THIS IS STUPID!” Downey thinks Piper is a transvestite and blows even more smoke. He says it’s healthy and that Piper could live as long as Downey could (Downey would eventually die of lung cancer). Piper asks for a cigarette of his own but instead sprays Downey with a fire extinguisher. This ran nearly SIXTEEN MINUTES or longer than any Wrestlemania match to date. It’s also aged horribly as Downey’s show would be canceled by the end of the summer.

Preview of Hulk Hogan’s cult classic movie No Holds Barred.

Donald Trump thinks this has been a great event for the Trump Organization and that the casinos have been doing very well. Sean Mooney sounds incredibly nervous here.

Jesse is LIVID that Hogan is invading Hollywood. He’s so mad that he looks at the wrong camera when he starts ranting about how scared Hogan is of Savage. Hogan can drive Jesse’s limo in Hollywood and Jesse storms off, only to return about ten seconds later.

We’re in intermission if that’s not clear.

Long recap of the Mega Powers forming and splitting to get us to the main event. Like I said, Hogan was taking a bit too much of the spotlight, including getting the win at Survivor Series after Savage did most of the work. It was finally too much for Savage and he snapped to set up the Mega Powers exploding.

Hogan can’t believe we’re here just a year after it all started. He should have been able to see it coming though as Savage just wasn’t ready to handle the pressure. Savage made Hogan believe that he believed in Hogan’s demandments (train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins) and that he was in Hogan’s corner. That line right there sums up why Savage is pretty justified: why should the WWF World Champion be in Hogan’s corner and have to follow Hogan’s rules? As I said for Wrestlemania III: Hogan only has himself to blame for so many of his problems.

Hogan isn’t done yet as he talks about Trump sending a team of scientists to check the arena’s foundation because the people in the building might be swallowed by the earth. What is up with Hogan worrying about the world falling apart whenever he’s in Trump Plaza? That’s two years in a row now. Anyway, he wants Savage at his best and promises to take the title back.

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Big John Studd returned around the beginning of the year and is guest referee here. As you can probably guess, Andre’s career hasn’t done so well lately as his mounting injuries have pretty much rendered him to limited appearances and little more. The idea here is Andre is terrified of snakes, much like so many of Jake’s opponents. That’s rather evil of Jake but we’ve already established that heroes can be horrible people in the world of wrestling.

Andre jumps Jake to start and sends him face first into an exposed buckle, which lost its padding somewhere during the entrances. Somehow being sent into the exposed buckle by ANDRE THE GIANT doesn’t even knock Jake to the mat. Jesse thinks Jake is cunning but he’s in there with a giant. Gorilla: “Didn’t you ever hear the story of David?” Jesse: “Sure. He used a foreign object.” Point to Ventura. Andre gets him into the corner and crushes him with the power of fat.

Heenan yells insults as Andre stands on Jake’s chest. Jake slugs away and knocks Andre into the ropes for the tie up but Heenan gets the Giant’s arm’s loose for some choking. Andre tries a shoulder in the corner but “catches a short knee” and staggers backwards, even though Jake never moved his leg. To this day I’m still not sure what happened there. A big chest bump knocks Jake to the floor but Studd won’t let him bring the snake inside. Andre and Studd get in a fight and here’s DiBiase to steal the snake, triggering their feud. Jake chases him off as Andre chokes Studd and that’s a DQ at 9:40.

Rating: D. These matches are feeling longer and longer, even if it’s a bigger match like this one. Jake was an act that people never got tired of, even if he was eternally stuck in the midcard. Andre was into sad territory here as he could barely move and was really just shouting and using his fat instead of doing anything of value.

Jake catches DiBiase and brings in the snake to clear the ring.

Sean Mooney gives us a worthless report from the cheap seats.

Sensational Sherri is going to take the Women’s Title back from Rockin Robin and hopes Elizabeth gets hurt in the main event. That’s just evil.

Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine vs. Hart Foundation

Honky Tonk, now firmly down the card after losing the Intercontinental Title at the first Summerslam, gets beaten up by Hart to open things up. Valentine comes in and gets dropkicked as well, followed by Neidhart’s slingshot shoulder for two. It’s back to Bret who walks into a backbreaker as the bad guys finally over. A kind of fireman’s carry suplex and some elbows from Honky Tonk have Bret in trouble as Jesse calls Pat Patterson a relic of the past.

There’s the Shake Rattle and Roll but it’s off to Valentine for the Figure Four instead of a cover. Bret easily breaks out of the hold and cross bodies Honky Tonk, only to fall out to the floor. Back in and Bret loads up an O’Connor roll on Greg but runs over for the tag to Neidhart instead of covering. That’s rather smart and something you would only expect from someone like Bret. The Harts take over and Bret starts with the prototype of the Five Moves of Doom. Everything breaks down and Neidhart throws in Jimmy’s megaphone for a shot to Honky Tonk’s shoulder for the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. Totally meaningless filler match here but at least it wasn’t bad for a change. The Harts were still finding their groove as a face team, including not blatant cheating with foreign objects to beat a thrown together team like this. We’ll be seeing Valentine and Honky Tonk together as an actual team later on.

We recap Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude, which started in a pose down at the Royal Rumble. Rude was about to lose so he attacked Warrior with an exercise bar. Warrior wasn’t pleased and this is the result.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Warrior won the title at Summerslam in a big surprise and has been dominant ever since. Rude tries to jump him at the bell but his knee hits Warrior’s belt. To be fair, Rude didn’t get smart until he went to WCW. Warrior LAUNCHES him across the ring over and over before throwing on a bearhug. Some fingers to the eyes break the hold and Rude comes off the top with a missile dropkick of all things for two.

Warrior comes right back with another bearhug and the referee is even nice enough to stop Rude from poking the eyes again. Rude gets out off something we missed because the camera was on Heenan and a piledriver gets a very delayed cover. The kickout is a lot weaker this time and Rude follows up with a jawbreaker.

Rude cranks on both arms at once but Warrior makes the ropes and shoves Rude away. The champ throws him into the corner a few times but misses a splash. He’s still able to break up the Rude Awakening though and Rude is in trouble. Warrior knocks him to the floor for a suplex but Heenan trips Warrior up so Rude falls on top, leaving Bobby to hold the foot down to give Rick the pin and the title at 9:41. That’s Warrior’s first loss and somehow that’s Heenan’s first title as a manager in the WWF.

Rating: B. This was a pairing that never made sense as neither guy was known as the best in ring performer on their own but they meshed together very well and produced some good stuff. Rude was still goofy and Warrior was still insane so this was a major upset and big surprise all around. Good match too.

Warrior beats Heenan up because he’s a sore loser.

Bad News Brown vs. Jim Duggan

Just a brawl here. Duggan slugs away to start and clotheslines Brown out to the floor. Back in and it’s Brown’s turn to hammer on Duggan but the shots to the head have no effect on Jim. The Ghetto Blaster misses though and Brown rolls outside to grab a chair. Duggan gets his 2×4 and it’s a double DQ at 3:45.

Rating: D. This could have been fun if it wasn’t at Wrestlemania. Instead it’s yet another way to fill in time before the match on the show that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully they kept this short but that doesn’t mean it has any business actually taking place. Bad stuff here that could have been a fun garbage brawl.

Duggan hits him with the 2×4 to send Brown staggering away. The announcement of the double DQ crushes the crowd all over again.

Red Rooster can’t wait to beat up Bobby Heenan and it’s going to be a great day in the barnyard. The idea is Rooster is a walking chicken who used to be managed by Heenan. Bobby said he could take anyone to success, even someone as untalented as Rooster. I think you can piece the rest together yourself.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

Heenan can barely walk after the beating from Warrior. Right hands, Heenan misses a charge and hits the post, Rooster pins him in 30 seconds.

Post match the Brooklyn Brawler comes in but gets beaten up by Rooster. This is really the last match before the main event at WRESTLEMANIA.

Elizabeth says she’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event. All she hopes is that neither man is injured.

Tony Schiavone says the locker room has all gone into the arena to watch the match.

Sean Mooney polls fans on who is going to win. My goodness ENOUGH FILLER ALREADY.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan

Savage is defending and comes out first. Elizabeth gets her own entrance. Jesse sums it up very well by saying “This is truly what the term main event was invented for. This is the MAIN EVENT.” Savage bails to start and poses on the corner. Hogan easily shoves him down and it’s time to stall some more.

The announcers get into a heated argument over how important Elizabeth really is until Hogan shoulders Savage to the floor where he hides behind Elizabeth. Jesse: “With what Elizabeth has pulled, a punch in the nose might be what she needs.” Back in and Hogan gets technical (huh???) to take Savage down into a front facelock. Some right hands are more Hogan’s style but Savage snaps him throat first across the top rope for two.

We hit the armbar from the champ but Hogan fights up and uses the trunks to pull Savage to the floor. Back in and Hogan drops a bunch of elbows for two but Savage pulls him into a chinlock. Hulk has a cut over his eye and Savage knees him into the buckle for two, even with a handful of trunks. Hogan fights up again and just slams Savage over the top to the floor.

Randy wants nothing to do with Elizabeth’s help so he pulls Hogan to the floor and posts him. Now Elizabeth goes to check on Hogan and gets ejected to make it one on one. Savage ax handles Hogan throat first into the barricade followed by a knee drop for two. With that not working, Savage just chokes him down instead. The top rope elbow gets two and it’s time to Hulk Up. The three punches set up the big boot and the legdrop to give Hogan the title back at 17:54.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but there was no way they were going to be able to live up to the hype they had created for this. This was one of the biggest matches of all time and there was really no way they could get much higher than they did here. I can accept Hogan winning for the safe move and the good feeling, but can you imagine if Savage had cheated to win (maybe involving Elizabeth somehow) and kept the title until Summerslam? Still though, I understand why they did this as it wasn’t exactly a time when heels could get the last laugh of a major show.

A lot of posing and raving from Jesse take us out.

Overall Rating: D-. This is by far the worst Wrestlemania to date and in the running for the worst of all time. I understand the idea of a one match card but they weren’t even trying to do anything more than fill in time. Look at some of these matches and tell me which ones deserved to be on here aside from the main event. You have Andre vs. Roberts, the Intercontinental Title and Tag Team Title matches, and maybe the Brainbusters vs. Strike Force.

In other words, about two thirds of this show ranges from worthless to not needing to be on the card. The main event is good but there’s no way they could make up for the disaster that was the rest of the show. It’s way too long, not any good most of the time, and a show that only needed to be about one match. Throw in the WAY too long Piper segment and this was a disaster. Absolutely horrible show.

Ratings Comparison

Hercules vs. King Haku

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Twin Towers vs. Rockers

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

It just keeps getting worse.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/12/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-5-hogan-vs-savage-and-thats-about-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/14/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-v-the-first-wrestlemania-sequel/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Monday Night Raw – February 15, 1993: It’s A Smash

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 15, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Rob Bartlett, Randy Savage

We’re back after a week off and the big story is Brutus Beefcake returning to the ring after nearly three years away due to a horrible injury. That seems like it should be setting up something for Wrestlemania, though I’m almost worried about what else we might be seeing on here. Let’s get to it.

Here are the most recent show’s results if you need a recap.

Brutus Beefcake is ready to get back in the ring against Ted DiBiase.

Ted DiBiase is ready to crush Brutus Beefcake’s face again, though Jimmy Hart thinks that’s a bit too far. Jimmy showing humanity still feels wrong.

Opening sequence.

Commentary welcomes us to the show, with Randy Savage saying God and Hulk Hogan are a great tag team and they have Brutus Beefcake’s back. That might be a bit much.

Steiner Brothers vs. Bobby Who/Glen Ruth

Thankfully Vince mostly ignores Bartlett’s Who’s On First jokes but can’t ignore Savage’s issues, as he can barely be heard. Scott suplexes Ruth down in a hurry to a big reaction, allowing the tag off to Rick to drive him into the corner. There’s an overhead belly to belly to Who as Savage is demanding a producer get out here and fix his microphone. Scott loads Who up in a powerbomb with Rick coming off the top with an elbow for a huge crash. Bartlett: “Does that hurt?” Rick grabs the chinlock as Bartlett talks about having a bad Valentine’s Day. Scott plants Who with a tiger bomb and the Steiner Bulldog finishes at 3:33.

Rating: C. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I could watch the Steiners throw goons around for hours on end. That’s what we got here, and it was slightly more entertaining because of the Savage audio issues. Sometimes you need an entertaining squash and the Steiners suplexing people out of their shoes is always worth a look.

It’s time for the Wrestlemania Report, with Gene Okerlund being very excited about the show being in Las Vegas. We even have some matches, with Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, Crush vs. Doink the Clown and Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez. Doink and Giant Gonzalez are the second and third matches announced for Wrestlemania. I think you can see why the show was in trouble.

Yokozuna vs. Ross Greenberg

Savage is still losing it over the microphone and sounds like he is calling in to the show. Yokozuna stands by for about a minute to start and then runs Greenberg over like he isn’t even there. Greenberg gets crushed again and there’s the running splash in the corner. The Banzai Drop finishes for Yokozuna at 2:01 in true squash fashion.

Post match Savage steals Bartlett’s microphone, which makes me think we’re in the middle of a bad bit.

We get a Special Report, brought to you by the WWF Poster Magazine (oh the memories). This week it’s a clip from Superstars, with Jim Duggan getting beaten up by Yokozuna but actually managing to with a running shoulder. That’s a cool moment, and Yokozuna’s selling as he tries to keep his balance is great, as he really was a lot more awesome than he was given credit for. Then Yokozuna mauled Duggan and left the American flag laying as Duggan did a stretcher job.

Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji are happy with what happened to Duggan.

Giant Gonzalez wanted in tonight’s battle royal but everyone else said they were out if he was in. We see a clip from Superstars with Gonzalez beating up three jobbers, including Louis Spicolli, at once.

Battle Royal

Bob Backlund, Koko B. Ware, Typhoon, Kamala, Tito Santana, Razor Ramon, Shawn Michaels, Owen Hart, Kim Chee, Berzerker, Kamala, Skinner, Damien Demento, Iron Mike Sharpe, Terry Taylor, Tatanka

This aired on the Invasion of the Bodyslammers VHS tape (with some different commentary) so I’ve seen this about thirty times but have only heard it once for a weird situation. Everyone slides in from the floor to start for a bit of a change and it’s Kamala chasing Kim Cheer early on. Backlund tosses Sharpe and Michaels gets rid of Ware to clear the ring out a bit. Skinner is caught in between the top and middle ropes but gets loose, only to be clotheslined out by Typhoon.

Santana sends Ramon into the turnbuckle over and over, possibly as repayment for coming up with the Ramon name (true story). Demento is tossed and Berzerker does the same thing to Owen. Berzerker is out as well, followed by Kim Chee and Typhoon getting rid of Kamala. That is not acceptable to Kamala, who goes after Kim Chee and tosses him out, meaning the chase is on through the crowd. We take a break and come back with Tatanka, Taylor, Typhoon, Michaels, Backlund, Ramon and Santana but we pause to look at Kamala chasing Kim Chee through the balcony.

We come back to the arena with Taylor and Backlund gone and Michaels tossing out Typhoon. Shawn and Razor team up against Santana and Tatanka, which could be a heck of a tag match if they had the chance. Razor knocks Santana down and Tatanka hammers away on Shawn in the corner. Santana comes back with the flying forearm and Shawn dropkicks Tatanka as the pairs switch off.

The good guys get together to send Shawn into the buckles over and over before tossing him out to get us down to three. Santana and Tatanka go after Razor…and here is Giant Gonzalez to throw both of them out. Gonzalez leaves and the bell rings at 16:10 because Ramon was smart enough to roll outside, meaning he’s the only one left to win.

Rating: C-. This was kind of a lame battle royal but it was definitely a clever ending. It’s also the kind of thing that Ramon would brag about so everything fits well here. Kamala chasing Kamala around was hilarious and I got into the final four part, so this was about as much fun as you could have in such a random battle royal.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Jimmy Hart is here with DiBiase and doesn’t seem happy with the match taking place. Beefcake struts away from a lockup to start and frustration sets in early. It works so well that Beefcake does it again, this time before sidestepping DiBiase into the corner. They finally go with a regular lockup as Hart isn’t thrilled with how things have gone so far. Beefcake slugs away and DiBiase is knocked outside in a hurry.

Back in and Beefcake works on a headlock before punching DiBiase outside again. Back in again and DiBiase tries to send him face first into the buckle but Beefcake counters that into a headlock in a hurry. Cue IRS with the briefcase, though Hart doesn’t seem to want him around. The headlock is broken up so IRS hits Beefcake in the back with the briefcase for the DQ at 4:27.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to say on this one as it was a bunch of punching and headlocking before the storyline ending. Beefcake was in good shape, but how can you tell how well he is doing when most of his old offense was hitting someone in the face? This is going to be a bigger deal soon, but for now it’s just a short match built around about two moves.

Post match IRS loads up the briefcase but Hart won’t let him hit Beefcake in the face. IRS finally shoves Hart down and blasts Beefcake in the face with the case. Thrashing and gyrating on the mat ensue so DiBiase tries to do it again but Hart covers Beefcake up. Money Inc. leaves and Beefcake is taken out on a stretcher while holding his face.

That was so brutal so we’ll look at it in slow motion! And then in real time!

Back from a break and apparently Beefcake is on his feet. Vince is so upset that he thinks HULK HOGAN could be here next week.

Overall Rating: C-. The throwing stuff at the wall approach continues as there is only so much that can be done at this point. We are about a month and a half away from Wrestlemania and you can pretty easily guess the other big match on the card. Maybe the rest of the TV will be better, but Raw is so new at this point, how can you really tell? Not a horrible show this week, but the Beefcake deal was the only part that felt important.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




WWF WrestleFest 1990: The Who’s Who

WrestleFest 1990
Host: Sean Mooney
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Hillbilly Jim, Tony Schiavone

This is the kind of thing that I love to watch: a compilation video featuring a bunch of stuff from television tapings which is cobbled together with almost nothing in the way of a theme. There might be a wrestler getting a few matches in a row, but this is kind of a sampler platter of the company at this point in time. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and runs down the lineup, including a profile of the Hart Foundation. Mooney promising that the Harts will “calmly” discuss their recent matches and then seeing a clip of Jim Neidhart talking a mile a minute was funny.

From Miami on January 22, 1990.

Randy Savage vs. Roddy Piper

Yeah this should work. Savage yells a lot to start while Piper stands in the middle of the ring. Sherri offers a distraction and tries to look up Piper’s kilt, earning herself a spank. An attempted kick to Piper sees her leg swatted away, sending both her and her shoes flying. That’s finally enough to get Savage to come off the top with an ax handle to get things going but Piper clotheslines him right back down.

A sunset flip gives Piper two and a not great looking small package is good for the same. Savage tries to bail but gets pulled back inside, only to have a Sherri distraction let him jump Piper from behind. Now the top rope ax handle works far better and a second one connects on the floor to put Piper down again. Sherri even gets in a high kick to the back of Piper’s head (impressive when she’s in a dress and high heels) so Savage can choke away back inside.

Piper catches him on top though and gets Savage in the yet to be named Tree of Woe for some….well something involving Savage’s face. We go old school with an airplane spin to drop Savage for two, who is right back with an airplane spin of his own (and even faster, because Savage is very competitive). Savage is so dizzy that he falls out of the ring, with Piper following him out and hammering away even more. Sherri tries the save and it’s a double countout at 9:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t great but the people involved alone was more than enough to make this work. What really stood out though was Savage turning an airplane spin into a contest, which is so totally appropriate for him. It wasn’t a classic or anything, but this is a pairing between two all time masters and that’s worth seeing.

Post match Piper grabs the sleeper on Savage and then another on Sherri. That’s broken up (with the camera getting a rather long/gratuitous shot of Sherri’s dress coming up, which is rather risque in 1990) and Piper grabs a belt to clean house.

We have a fan requested match, with Dino Bravo and Ultimate Warrior both promising to win.

From Tuscon, Arizona (that’s what Mooney says, though everything else I see says Phoenix) on February 13.

Intercontinental Title: Dino Bravo vs. Ultimate Warrior

Bravo is challenging and has Jimmy Hart and Earthquake (in that hideous brown gear) with him. They start fast with Warrior snapping off a powerslam and adds a top rope ax handle to make it worse. Back up and Bravo can’t get anywhere off a shoulder block so Warrior sends him into the corner again. Earthquake offers a distraction though and Bravo clotheslines Warrior out to the floor. That’s fine with Warrior, who chases Hart underneath the ring and….yeah Hart comes out missing his pants.

Back in and Warrior hits a suplex but the Warrior Splash hits knees. The test of strength puts Warrior down and a bearhug makes it even worse. Warrior reverses into one of his own but gets broken up in a hurry. Bravo misses an elbow so Warrior hits a slam, only to come up holding his back. Mooney isn’t sure what’s wrong, apparently forgetting the last three minutes. Some ax handles to the back trigger the Warrior Up and there is the clothesline comeback. The Warrior Splash connects and draws in Earthquake for the DQ at 8:12.

Rating: D. You mean to tell me that DINO BRAVO can’t take a pin from the Intercontinental Champion and the guy who would be WWF Champion in less than two months? In something you don’t get to say very often, Warrior deserves better than that, as it’s not like Bravo has ever meant anything, whether he is in or outside of Canada.

Post match the beatdown is on until Earthquake loads up the middle rope Earthquake, drawing out Hulk Hogan for the save. This was shown during the hype video at Wrestlemania.

It’s time for the Manager’s Profile, this time on Mr. Fuji, who likes his wrestlers to hurt people. We see some clips of Fuji N Pals beating up wrestlers, plus Fuji himself cheating to run a 5K race over Wrestlemania V weekend. This seems to be it, as there isn’t much to say about Fuji most of the time.

Brutus Beefcake is ready for Rick Martel, who won’t leave as pretty as he came in.

Rick Martel knows he is better looking than Brutus Beefcake and has what it takes to back it up.

From New York City on December 28, 1989.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Rick Martel

Martel hits the stall button to start, allowing Beefcake to take his gear off. We get into a mini pose off with Martel not being happy that the fans aren’t impressed with his (better) physique. Beefcake slowly strips his shirt off and Martel finally charges, right into a hiptoss for the first contact about two and a half minutes in. The threat of a right hand sends Martel bailing to the floor though and it’s time for more stalling.

Back in and they circle each other some more until Martel offers a handshake. Note that we’ve had a hiptoss and slam in the four minutes of the match so far, which has felt rather fine as they have kept it entertaining. That is such a lost art today and they are making it work well here. They do shake hands but Beefcake kicks him in the ribs and hammers away in the corner as we finally get out of pre-gear.

Martel’s monkey flip attempt is countered with a kick to the face and there’s a head knocker to make it worse. An atomic drop gets Martel out of trouble and Martel slowly starts stomping away. The chinlock goes on as they don’t exactly seem interested in doing much in the way of physicality tonight.

Beefcake fights up and gets two off a small package but Martel hits a backbreaker. For some reason Martel goes up, allowing Beefcake to shake the rope for the (always hilarious from Martel) crotching. The atomic drop does it again but Beefcake is sent to the apron. Beefcake tries a sunset but Martel drops down and grabs the ropes for the cheating pin at 12:38.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly thrilling with neither of them being that interested in trying. You can stall a lot and get a good amount out of very little, but they weren’t exactly doing that here. That being said, this was about as late 80s of a WWF match as you could get, with two guys in great shape not really doing much. I can always go for that, and the match could have been a lot worse.

Post match Beefcake keeps hammering away and grabs the sleeper. The scissors are loaded up but Bobby Heenan runs in to save Martel from a haircut.

Now it’s time for a profile on the Hart Foundation, which should bring things up a bit.

The Hart Foundation isn’t sure if they’re happy with being profiled, as Bret Hart thinks it is cool but Jim Neidhart loses it over the idea of not being Tag Team Titles. To our first match!

From Miami, Florida on January 23.

Hart Foundation vs. Powers of Pain

We pause for Bret to give his sunglasses to an older lady at ringside before Neidhart and Barbarian get things going. They shove each other around until Barbarian kicks him in the ribs. An exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere but Neidhart manages to knock him down to take over. Bret comes in to pick up the pace and it’s quickly back to Neidhart for an armbar. Barbarian knocks him down though and brings in Warlord, who misses an elbow drop.

The Harts take turns on Warlord’s arm but Bret gets pulled into the wrong corner. Warlord hits an elbow to the back, setting up Barbarian’s jumping headbutt to keep Bret in trouble. Some choking on the ropes makes it worse and Barbarian forearms away at the back. Bret gets his feet up in the corner though and the tag brings in Neidhart to clean house. A air of shoulders put Warlord down and Barbarian elbows him by mistake in a save attempt. Everything breaks down with Mr. Fuji hitting Warlord with his cane by mistake, though it’s a countout to give the Harts the win at 10:36 anyway.

Rating: C. It’s a little weird to see a featured team winning via countout but it’s better than a loss. The Powers of Pain weren’t exactly the most versatile team in the world but they were big and strong enough to be rather good villains for something like this. The Harts made this work and Neidhart could match power with the two of them, though it was only going to be so good.

The Harts don’t think much of their next opponents, who are just lacking experience.

From Oakland, California on August 8, 1989.

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Dino Bravo

Honky Tonk Man and Bravo have Jimmy Hart in their corner. Bret and Bravo start things off with a hard shoulder giving Bravo the good opening. Back up and Bret sends him into the ropes for a clothesline from Neidhart, setting up a crossbody for two. It’s off to Honky Tonk Man so Neidhart comes in for the shoulders to the ribs. We hit the bearhug, which is broken up in a hurry thanks to a rake to the eyes.

Bravo comes back in for an atomic drop and draws Bret (who was looking at the crowd for no apparent reason) so some double teaming can put Neidhart in more trouble. The reverse chinlock doesn’t last long so Honky Tonk Man elbows him down instead. A fist drop misses though for Honky Tonk Man though (I wonder if his cousin could teach him better) and Bret gets the tag to clean house. Bret scores with the middle rope elbow for two and everything breaks down. The megaphone is tossed in and Neidhart steals it to knock out the villains for the DQ at 8:57.

Rating: C-. What is with this selection of matches for the Harts? I know they have had some better stretches but you can’t show them getting a pin over a couple of Jimmy Hart’s guys? Bravo and Honky Tonk Man were about as lame a pair of opponents as you could have found and I didn’t quite buy the idea that they were going to win. Granted the Harts didn’t get pinned, but Bravo can’t take a fall in a tag match?

The Harts aren’t overly impressed by the Rockers.

From Springfield, Massachusetts on August 29, 1989.

Hart Foundation vs. Rockers

Well ok. Bret and Marty (that could have been a heck of a singles match) start things off but don’t make any contact just yet. We get the lockup with Bret driving him into the ropes and of course giving us a clean break. Hayes thinks these guys have watched tapes, probably Coliseum Video tapes of course, to know what to expect, which in this case would be Jannetty hitting a crossbody. Shawn comes in and starts working on Bret’s arm, with the referee asking if Bret wants to submit. Mooney: “That is something I don’t think we will ever see.” Especially against Shawn Michaels.

Bret gets over to Neidhart, who plants Shawn for a fast two and grabs a chinlock. That’s broken up and Shawn manages to flip away from Bret, who gets slammed down. Neidhart comes back in for a heck of a dropkick and a near fall. Michaels avoids a splash but charges into Bret’s knee in the corner, only to have Bret miss a middle rope elbow. That’s enough for the hot tag to Jannetty and the pace picks up all over again.

Jannetty powerslams Bret for two and the double dropkick gets the same with Neidhart making the save. A clothesline gets Bret out of trouble and it’s back to Neidhart to run Shawn over. In the melee, Bret gets knocked hard into the barricade…and here are the Rougeaus to jump the Rockers for the DQ at 11:17.

Rating: B-. The ending was a little annoying but I get the idea of not wanting either of these two to take a loss. The Rockers were rapidly rising the card and the Harts were almost done with their road to redemption. When in a pinch, have the annoying heels come in to be a nuisance.

Post match the big brawl is on with the Rougeaus being cleared out.

We get a pretty cool look at all of the production trucks that take everything from one arena to another. I remember being fascinated by this when I was a kid.

From New York, New York on January 15, 1990.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect, with the Genius, is challenging and we’re in the Garden. Hogan powers him into the corner to start and then slams Perfect down in a hurry. Genius comes in and gets crushed by a flying Perfect, followed by the atomic drop for the rather funny sell. Hogan knocks Perfect into the ropes, with his head getting caught in between. More right hands send Perfect flying outside before Hogan tosses him back inside for the huge bump off the turnbuckle.

Perfect finally gets in a kick to the face for a breather before sending Hogan outside. The threat of a posting takes too long though and Hogan whips him in instead, allowing Perfect to continue his pinball impression. Like any good villain, Perfect goes to the eyes and we hit the sleeper. Perfect lets him go though and heads up for some questionable posing, allowing Hogan to shake the ropes for a crotching. Bouncing ensues to make things work and there’s a kick to the leg to send Perfect flying.

Hogan misses an elbow and gets caught in the PerfectPlex, which means it’s time for the Hulk Up. The big boot sends Perfect outside with Hogan following, where he has to avoid a big chair shot. Perfect gets thrown back in and pulls out a foreign object to knock Hogan off the apron and out cold for….not the countout. Instead, Hogan comes back in and takes the object from Perfect to knock him out. The legdrop connects but the referee DQ’s Hogan at 13:39.

Rating: C+. These two always worked well together, with a lot of that being based on Perfect bouncing around like crazy for Hogan every time. I’m not sure how much of a real threat Perfect was looking back, but he was as good of a challenger as Hogan had at this point. They even left the door open for a rematch here, which I’m sure took up some nice space on the marquee.

Hogan being stunned at the DQ while he still has the object on his fist is as Hogan as it gets. The villains escape the threat of another beating so posing can ensue.

From Sacramento, California on March 6, 1990.

Ultimate Warrior/Jake Roberts vs. Akeem/Ted DiBiase

Now this is the Coliseum Video kind of match I’ve been waiting on. Big Boss Man is guest referee to boost the star power a bit more, with the announcement being treated as a big deal. Mooney points out that Akeem and Boss Man are former partners to keep up the tension. Roberts can’t get far on DiBiase’s arm to start so he goes with punching DiBiase in the face.

The threat of the DDT sends DiBiase bailing out to the floor as we’re already on a breather. Back in and DiBiase gets sent shoulder first into the buckle, meaning that the arm cranking works that much better. Another DDT attempt sends DiBiase outside and now it’s off to Akeem for a change. Some shots to the arm slow Akeem down in a hurry, allowing Warrior to come in for a jumping shoulder.

That’s not enough to set up the DDT though as Akeem backdrops him down. Akeem chokes away in the corner but gets yelled at by Boss Man, meaning DiBiase can come in and stomp away instead. The running crotch attack to the back on the ropes crushes Roberts again but he jawbreakers DiBiase away. The short arm clothesline drops DiBiase and there’s the hot tag to Warrior. House is cleaned and the Warrior Splash finishes DiBiase at 6:47.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure if I can call this disappointing as it’s not like a match like this is going to have very high expectations. It’s a good example of how to send the fans home happy on a video release, especially after the heroes have not had the best time with this one. Warrior barely did anything here, but at least we got the DDT to finish things off.

Post match the brawl is on with Roberts DDTing Virgil and whipping out Damien for a bonus.

Mooney wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling was pretty typical for this era but what matters the most here is the star power. This was a near who’s who of this time for the WWF and I had a good time with the whole thing. I had a good time with it and that’s the idea, as this was the Coliseum Video formula: put out a pretty random collection of wrestling with some star power and watch the money come in every month. Nice enough here, but as was the case most of the time, don’t expect to be blown away.

 

 

 

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WWF House Show – April 22, 1991: Hogan Steals The Thing?

WWF House Show
Date: April 22, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Neidhart, Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

I got on a bit of a house show kick on the treadmill so you know I have to come back and watch the shows again. This is one of the live events that was aired on the MSG Network, as tended to be the case. We are about a month removed from Wrestlemania VII where Hulk Hogan won the WWF Title back from Sgt. Slaughter. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, as this is from the Old School series on Peacock.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and gives us a quick preview of the show.

The Dragon vs. Haku

Dragon is better known as Ricky Steamboat but couldn’t use the name at the moment due to a divorce. No entrance for Haku, which always feels a little weird. Dragon starts fast with the armdrag and then shoulders Haku down. Skinning the cat just frustrates Haku and there are some more armdrags to send Haku outside. Back in and Dragon takes him down again, this time for an armbar.

This time Haku fights up and strikes away, earning himself another armdrag into another armbar. Haku powers his way out of that and chops away in the corner. The chinlock goes on but Dragon is up in a hurry, only to get clotheslined back down. A suplex brings Haku back in and the chinlock goes on again. Dragon fights up after a good while and the chop off begins, with Dragon dropping him for two. Back up and Haku misses a charge into the corner, allowing Dragon to hit the high crossbody for the pin at 9:45.

Rating: C-. The chinlocks weren’t the most interesting parts here but Dragon winning a match with that high crossbody is always worth seeing. The match wasn’t exactly interesting though as it was a lot of chopping and then sitting around, which made for a long match. At least we got some good Steamboat out of it though, which never gets old.

Bushwhackers vs. Power and Glory

Oh it’s 1991 all right. We spend the better part of a minute with the Bushwhackers looking around and rubbing each others heads. Roma: “Ref, there’s something wrong. These guys aren’t right!” Luke offers Hercules a handshake but gets a pose instead. Butch joins him but Hercules turns his back, earning a double clothesline (for the first contact in over two minutes). The Bushwhackers bite a lot and there are some more clotheslines to put Power and Glory on the floor.

Back in and it’s off to Roma, who offers a handshake of his own. This time it’s a sucker punch to Luke (slightly more direct way of a cheap shot) but Hercules’ double teaming doesn’t work. Everything breaks down again and the Bushwhackers clear the ring again. Back in and Hercules stomps away on Luke to finally put him in some trouble (and finally get to something after nearly six minutes). Roma elbows him in the face as Heenan goes over tag team rules, with Neidhart and Monsoon finding it hilarious.

Butch gets drawn in so the double stomping is on, unlike the fans’ interest in this so far. There’s a double clothesline into Roma’s big jumping elbow but he misses a charge into the corner. The hot tag brings in Butch to clean house, including a double noggin knocker. There’s the Battering Ram to Hercules but he trips Butch down, allowing Roma to drop another elbow. The referee has to get rid of Hercules though and Luke gets in a cheap shot, only to have Hercules do the same thing so Roma can steal the pin at 10:51.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting from these guys? Power and Glory weren’t bad but the idea of the Bushwhackers getting this kind of time was never going to work. They were a lot of fun most of the time but the key was keeping up the energy. Luke selling for a few minutes isn’t going to work and this wasn’t much of a match.

The Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

During his entrance, Mountie stops to say that his jurisdiction is all of the WORLD….Wrestling Federation. Boss Man knocks him down to start and grabs Mountie’s shock stick but the yelling referee lets Mountie get in a shot from behind. A spinebuster plants Mountie though and Boss Man steps on him a bit. There’s a hard slap and a palm strike to the face to send Mountie outside so Boss Man hits him again out there. Back in and the running crotch attack connects but Mountie manages to backdrop him over the top and down onto the steps.

Boss Man seems to have banged up his knee so it’s time to kick away (as all fake Mounties would know how to do). The leg is tied in the ropes for more stomping/cranking as this isn’t exactly going fast paced. Boss Man gets out of the ropes and staggers around, allowing Mountie to wrap the knee around the post. Back up and Mountie grabs the mic to promise to read him his rights, allowing Boss Man to slug away. The Boss Man Slam finishes at 7:56.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this one, but this feud was never built around the in-ring part. Mountie was such an over the top character and these two had a rather natural connection, but a lot of that was due to having Mountie being so annoying. Not a great match, though you know this isn’t going to be done anytime soon.

Post match Mountie grabs the shock stick to shoot Boss Man a few times. Rematch a go-go.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is challenging and it’s not like there was any other option for the title match on this show. Hogan slides in and gets jumped, only to shrug them off without much trouble. Adnan gets sent outside and Slaughter is tossed over the top as well, setting up some choking with a camera cord. Back in and Hogan scores with a backdrop, setting up some right hands to the head. It’s back to the floor with Hogan hitting him in the back with a chair and waving an American flag, because breaking the rules is the American way.

There’s the boot scrape to the face as Heenan isn’t sure if he is still on the air after Hogan ran them over. Slaughter goes to the eyes but has to stop and fix his belt, so Heenan suggests he just get a new one (because Heenan is smart enough to think on his feet like that). They head outside again with Hogan being sent head first into a few things, breaking open his already bandaged forehead. Hogan is sent head first into the steps and there’s a belt to the head for a bonus. That leaves Hogan mostly dead on the floor and Slaughter kicks near his head to make it worse.

Adnan offers a distraction (because that’s needed) so Slaughter can get in a bell shot, sending Heenan into a rant about how Hogan can use the chair but DON’T YOU TOUCH A BELL! Totally fair point, as tends to be the case with Heenan. That’s good for two back inside and Hogan starts his usual strange looking selling, so Slaughter pokes him in the eye again. The fans chant for the USA, which could apply to either guy here.

Slaughter grabs the camel clutch and claws away at the cut as commentary is suddenly a lot more quiet. Hogan slips out and sends Slaughter outside but another rake to the cut takes care of the comeback. Slaughter hits a top rope stomp to the back for two but NOW it’s time to Hulk Up. The big boot doesn’t put Slaughter down so he shoves Hogan into the referee and goes to the throat to cut Hogan off.

Adnan throws in a chair so Slaughter…hits the already down referee. Another, very delayed, shot misses Hogan in the corner and yet another hits the top rope, sending the chair bouncing back into Slaughter’s head. Adnan comes in and gets chaired down but the referee pulls the chair away from Hogan and gives Slaughter the DQ win at 15:58.

Rating: B. This was a lot more fun than their more famous Wrestlemania match as they went with a straight brawl here instead of having anything close to a match. The violence and weapons helped a lot, as this was much closer to a street fight than anything else. It felt like they were willing to take some more chances here and having some fun, which was a great surprise over what I was expecting from these two.

Post match Slaughter and Adnan whip out a fireball but Hogan uses the chair to block the flame in a smart move. I’m sure a rematch will abound, much like Hogan’s post match posing. A fan gets to come in and pose with Hogan, which is always going to work. Gorilla: “How on earth are you going to follow this???”

IRS vs. Jimmy Snuka

Apparently you follow it with quite the midcard letdown. IRS only debuted less than ten days earlier and this is his first time in the Garden in years. As expected, he doesn’t think much of the tax cheats around this town. His gear is rather different too here as he has trunks (with IRS on the back) and leggings instead of the usual black pants.

Feeling out process to start with Snuka grabbing a headlock. That’s broken up in a hurry, with IRS complaining of a hair pull. There’s a hiptoss to send IRS down and the fans hoot with Snuka. The leapfrog into the chop puts IRS on the floor but he heads back inside and tosses Snuka over (Heenan: “I believe hitting the floor is a deduction.”). We hit the abdominal stretch as Heenan talks about how stupid Snuka is compared to the educated IRS.

Monsoon is RIGHT THERE to complain about IRS, this time saying his hand is turned the wrong way around Snuka’s head. I’ve always pictured Monsoon’s house with hand drawn abdominal stretch diagrams lining the walls. Anyway, Snuka escapes and hits some Mongolian chops in the corner. A middle rope crossbody connects for Snuka but IRS rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin at 6:24.

Rating: D+. This was about as generic of a match as you could have had, though I don’t think anyone was expecting IRS to light the world on fire. That being said, it makes sense for him to not be that thrilling in the ring. It wasn’t that the match was bad, but it was rather dull, and that’s a lot worse most of the time.

Alfred Hayes tried to talk to Roddy Piper earlier but Piper said he’ll do his talking in the ring. On the other hand, Ted DiBiase promises to send Piper out on a stretcher.

Warlord vs. Texas Tornado

Oh boy this could be rough. They lockup after about a minute of circling and the lockup goes nowhere. Tornado shoves him away and poses as commentary compares the kinds of strength these two have. It’s off to the required test of strength with Warlord getting the better of things. Back up and Warlord’s boot to the foot is caught so Tornado can hit the discus punch. That doesn’t even knock Warlord down as he grabs the bearhug to put Tornado back in trouble.

Commentary mocks Heenan’s lack of success with anything in college as Warlord takes it outside for a ram into the steps. A posting makes it even worse and Warlord gives him a backbreaker back inside. Tornado comes back with some right hands and a clothesline, eventually setting up the discus punch for a delayed two. They fall out to the floor though with Warlord landing on Tornado. The slugout is on and that’s a double countout at 9:19.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting from these two going nearly ten minutes and ending in a double countout? Tornado was rapidly falling apart, as he looked great but just wasn’t reliable in the ring and it was showing badly. Warlord was his usual self here, meaning this was a barely passable power match at best.

Rockers/Virgil vs. Orient Express/Mr. Fuji

Big pop for the announcement of a six man tag before any names were mentioned. The Rockers are starting to peak as a team and Virgil is on fire just after beating Ted DiBiase at Wrestlemania. We get the salt ceremony before the match and Neidhart uses a voice that would probably get him pulled off the air today. Shawn and Tanaka start things off as even Heenan has to admit that Shawn is a great athlete. Tanaka scores with a superkick but gets hit by a harder than expected clothesline.

Everything breaks down with the Rockers hitting stereo atomic drops, setting up Virgil’s double clothesline. Virgil comes in to snap off some jabs to Kato, who sends him into the corner for the break. It’s off to Fuji for the chops but Virgil hits him in the….near facial area I guess you would say. A chop from Fuji drops Virgil though and it’s back to Kato for more chops in the corner. Kato winds up on the floor and gets caught in a triple team, which hardly seems fair.

Shawn hits a double noggin knocker on the Express before sending Kato back inside, where Marty is waiting. It’s quickly back to Shawn, who gets kneed in the back by Tanaka to put him in trouble. Some shots to the back have Shawn in trouble and we hit the reverse chinlock. Shawn fights up and is almost immediately caught with a running forearm. Jannetty has to come in for the save but it’s Kato putting on his own reverse chinlock.

That’s broken up with some power but Shawn falls down as he tries the electric chair. The double clothesline works better though and the hot tag brings in Marty (even though Virgil was a lot closer). The powerslam gets two on Tanaka and there’s the double superkick. Virgil comes in for a clothesline and the Million Dollar Dream finishes Tanaka t 11:11.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better matches of the night, which shouldn’t be a surprise given how good the Rockers vs. Express matches usually were. Virgil and Fuji were kept to a minimum here and that is better for everyone, as Fuji was an old manager and Virgil was Virgil, so what else were they supposed to do?

Ted DiBiase vs. Roddy Piper

DiBiase, with Sherri, brings out a crutch as Piper has a bad lep. Piper takes him down to start and whips away with a belt. Said belt is used to drag DiBiase into the corner for some race first ramming into the buckle. Piper crotches him on top but the leg gives out, so here is Sherri to jump on Piper’s back. That earns Sherri a kiss to send her back outside but she grabs Piper’s leg so DiBiase can get in a few shots. Piper charge into a boot to the face and DiBiase ties him in the Tree of Woe for some shots to the bad knee.

That’s not enough so Sherri throws in a chair so DiBiase can nail Piper in the head for two. The knee is rammed down into the mat before DiBiase mixes it up a bit by wrapping the good knee around the post. Somehow Piper fights up again and starts slugging away so Sherri shoves Heenan down and sends the chair back in. Another shot to the leg puts Piper down and we hit the Figure Four….with the referee stopping it at 7:33, despite Piper trying to break the hold. The referee makes it clear that Piper did NOT give up.

Rating: C+. The energy was there but this was designed to set up a rematch rather than being much of a match on its own. Granted there was only so much that you can do when Piper is on a bad knee. DiBiase is still a great heel and knew how to make the fans want to kill him, including working over Piper’s knee rather well. Not a bad match, but much more a step in a bigger story.

Post match Piper beats up DiBiase and steals Sherri’s shoe to go after him. With that not working, Piper pulls off Sherri’s skirt to send the villains running.

Overall Rating: C. This show was back and forth all night long and it made for a not so great night. The problem here was that there were only so much good to be seen throughout the night, with Hulk Hogan and Sgt. Slaughter of all people having the best match. It had its moments, but watching IRS and the Warlord wasn’t exactly the most inspirational evening.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – May 30, 1994: Get Me Out Of Here

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 30, 1994
Location: Struthers Fieldhouse, Youngstown, Ohio
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon

Thank goodness we’re wrapping the month up here because I don’t think I can take much more of the build towards King of the Ring. The last few weeks have been nothing short of dreadful and there is no reason to think that it is going to get any better in the near future. Maybe they can wrap it up on a nice note so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the qualifying matches so far and there is one spot left. For some reason it is Tatanka vs. Crush instead of Jimmy Del Ray, as announced last week (which was taped the same night as this show). I’m thinking….common sense stepping in?

Opening sequence.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Crush vs. Tatanka

Crush has Mr. Fuji while Tatanka has Chief Jay Strongbow, meaning Vince gets to talk about the Hall of Fame. This means the bizarre situation of Vince mentioning Bobo Brazil, which is quite the clash of the generations. Feeling out process to start with Crush getting sent into the corner for a consultation with Fuji. This actually seems to work as Crush gets in a shot to the face, only to get clotheslined over the top.

We cut to Strongbow, who looks so bored you would think he was watching a Chief Jay Strongbow match. Back in and Crush misses a charge into the corner, allowing Tatanka to hit a middle rope clothesline for two. Hold on though as Tatanka has to break up a battle of the old managers as we take a break. Back with Crush holding a bearhug, as per WWF back from commercial laws.

A belly to belly gives Crush two and a rake to the eyes cuts Tatanka off again. Crush makes the mistake of ramming him into the buckle though and it’s time for the warpath. Tatanka faceplants him and a top rope chop to the head gets two. Strongbow decks the interfering Fuji but Crush drops Tatanka as well. That means Crush has to go after Strongbow and his overly large pants. Tatanka goes for the save and it’s the world’s fastest double countout at 11:05.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here, as too much of the focus was on Strongbow vs. Fuji. I get the idea, but how much interest was there in either of them in 1994? Strongbow looked so miserable out there and I don’t know if anyone has really cared about Fuji for the better part of ever. This wasn’t very good in the first place, and odds are something happens to get one of them into the tournament anyway. Great way to start the show.

The brawl stays on post match until referees break it up.

It’s time for another King of the Ring Control Center, which works fine as a one off but egads these are rough in a marathon. That being said, I do need Todd Pettengill’s KING OF THE RING 1994 shirt (It even has the date!). Anyway, we go to Roddy Piper at home in Oregon, where he says he isn’t interested in talking trash because all he wanted to do is help the kids. He’s no king.

Todd goes over the brackets as we know them so far, including Owen Hart, who already has thoughts on Crush vs. Tatanka going to a double countout. He should just get a bye and move on to the next round! Todd tells us to have fun on Father’s Day but make sure to save enough energy to turn on your TV for the show. How complicated is that TV?

Ted DiBiase is in a funeral parlor and thinks it smells like money. He has been in contact with the Undertaker and the two of them will be getting together again soon. When that happens, the rest of the WWF will be resting in peace.

1-2-3 Kid vs. George South

Feeling out process to start as commentary talks politics. South forearms him in the back and gets in more jobber style offense until Kid scores with some kicks. A headlock is countered into a belly to back suplex to drop Kid again. Not that it matters as a sloppy la majistral finishes South at 2:33.

It’s time for the King’s Court, meaning Lawler gets to insult the crowd as a Memphis heel can do. With that out of the way, Lawler gets to the point with his “Stu and Helen Hart are really, really old” jokes before bringing out Bret Hart as the guest. Lawler brings up the King of the Ring from last year and asks if Bret remembers it, or did all of the oil on his head make it slip his mind.

Bret gets a bit more serious but Lawler brings out the other two guests: Shawn Michaels and Diesel. Lawler asks if Bret is crazy for thinking he can beat Diesel, sending Bret into his usual response to Diesel. That doesn’t seem to bother Diesel, who promises the VIP treatment for Bret: Very Intense Pain. The Jackknife plants Bret in a hurry and the triple stomping is on. Pretty standard segment here but Diesel is a fresh player in the main event, at least partially due to the lack of anyone to challenge Bret at the moment.

Smoking Gunns vs. Reno Riggins/Austin Steele

Bart and Reno trade knees to the ribs to start and it’s quickly off to Billy for a crucifix. A swinging neckbreaker drops Riggins but Bart misses the elbow. Steele, looking like a Buddy Landel tribute, gets whipped into the corner over and over and there’s a top rope bulldog from Billy. Hold on though as Randy Savage needs to read the ad for Firestarter, airing later this week on USA. A dropkick/suplex combination drops Steele again and the Sidewinder (powerbomb/top rope elbow) gives Bart the pin at 3:31.

Rating: D+. The Gunns were the best team of this era but it isn’t like that means a lot. They are good enough to be consistently in the title hunt, though pretty much any two people thrown together could fit that description at the moment. Just a squash here, which isn’t exactly inspiring a lot of the time.

The official decision on Tatanka vs. Crush: a rematch next week, but it’s a LUMBERJACK match, because you want all of the 1994 roster in one place!

Come to the Wrestlemania Revenge Tour!

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Hamerrick

Hamerrick was around in the midcard in the dying days of ECW. Some armdrags take Jarrett down to start as we hear about the Arsenio Hall Show coming to an end. Vince: “Does Jeff Jarrett resemble Barney Rubble from the Flintstones?” Jarrett comes back with some stomping into a slingshot suplex, followed by the middle rope fist drop. The chinlock goes on as we talk about anything but the match. Hamerrick gets in a dropkick (with Vince pointing out how little contact it made) but a missed charge lets Jarrett grab the Figure Four for the submission (over the WE WANT DOINK chants) at 3:53.

Rating: D. Jarrett as the country singer was not good in any way and I don’t think there is any way around that reality. He’s talented in the ring but this whole gimmick just feels lame. It doesn’t help that Jarrett is the definition of a solid hand rather than someone who is going to have an exciting match, leaving us sitting through a bunch of stuff like this: technically fine, but really boring.

Jerry Lawler suggests that Roddy Piper will be on the King’s Court last week without actually saying his name. It would be a Piper impersonator to really hammer in the joke.

Overall Rating: D-. The big story of this show was the Crush vs. Tatanka verdict and they somehow got a decision together in the span of about thirty minutes. I don’t believe Jack Tunney could tie his shoes in that amount of time, so this was a stretch in more ways than one. Another rather bad show here, but you kind of have to expect that coming in.

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Monday Night Raw – May 9, 1994: Please Let It Stop

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 9, 1994
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Burlington, Vermont
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Randy Savage, Vince McMahon

We’re on the way to the King of the Ring and that means it is time for some qualifying matches. Your tastes may vary on those, but at least they’ll have a purpose. You don’t watch these shows for match quality most of the time so giving them a reason is more interesting than the random squashes. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Earthquake challenging Yokozuna for a match.

Opening sequence.

We run down the card.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Razor Ramon vs. Kwang

Kwang is the future Savio Vega under a mask as a far east martial arts expert (with Harvey Wippleman). They fight over arm control to start until Razor elbows him in the face. With that not working, Kwang chops away in the corner but Razor shows him some better technique. A running clothesline puts Kwang on the floor so he gets back up, earning himself a right hand to the face.

Kwang snaps him throat first across the top though and there’s a hook kick to the face (a Savio Vega trademark). Razor gets a backslide for two before avoiding a charge to send Kwang’s shoulder into the post. It’s time to start working on the arm, including some slaps to the back of the head. Kwang is back up with another kick to the face for no cover as he would rather crank on the neck.

Razor’s lip is busted and Vince promises to go to a wide shot if it gets bad for the sake of children watching. The fact that I can’t actually see which part of his lip is busted because there is almost no visible blood makes me think this might be overcautious. Ramon fights up and strikes away until a shot to the nose (which might be the bleeding part) takes him down.

We take a break and come back with Razor grabbing a chokeslam for a delayed two. The belly to back superplex is countered so Kwang tries a spinning high crossbody, with Razor rolling through for two more. Razor has finally had it with Kwang and tries the Razor’s Edge but can’t muscle him up. A missed spinwheel kick is enough to set up the Razor’s Edge to finish Kwang at 15:03.

Rating: C+. The time and chemistry made this one work as both guys were working. Kwang might have been a goofy character (with a worse name) but he could do some very good things in the ring. Nice long match here, and it is always nice to see something like that on this show.

It’s time for the King of the Ring Report, with Todd Pettengill talking about how the tournament works and what it meant for Bret Hart. On top of that, we have Roddy Piper accepting Jerry Lawler’s challenge for a match. He has nothing left to prove, but he does not like what Lawler has been saying about some sick children in Toronto. A portion of the proceeds will be given to a children’s hospital and I’m sure it will be an incredibly large portion as well. Todd: “We’re working on an address for the hospital so you can donate as well.” How do you work on finding an ADDRESS? It’s a hospital, not a traveling salesman.

Crush vs. Raymond Roy

Mr. Fuji is here with Crush, who is not impressed with Roy to start. Crush goes to talk to Fuji, allowing Roy to grab a quick rollup for two. Some kicks take Roy down and a legdrop makes it even worse. There’s a backbreaker so Crush can sneer a bit and it’s the delayed gorilla press. The Heart Punch finishes Roy in a hurry, even cutting off Savage’s copy read.

Rating: D. This was about all you could have expected here as Crush was being hyped up for his house show feud with Lex Luger. That isn’t much to get excited about, but Luger still has a little momentum after Wrestlemania. Nothing match of course, which is what you should be expecting from this era of Raw.

Come to the Wrestlemania Revenge Tour! Assuming it’s near you! Or even if it isn’t!

Duke the Dumpster Droese is coming. It’s that time.

We see Jerry Lawler and, ahem, Doink, pieing and silly stringing Dink on Superstars but it’s Jeff Jarrett in disguise. Jarrett said he was going to take control of the situation and that is exactly what he did.

Doink the Clown vs. Mike Terrace

Dink is here with Doink as Vince teases that Jeff Jarrett might sing during the upcoming house show tour. Before we can get too far into the match, Jarrett calls into the show to talk about how bad commentary is. Doink takes Terrace down and runs over to the corner to rub Dink’s head. Dink comes in to roll onto Terrace while Jeff says he is the best clown in the world. Back up and Terrace wants a test of strength but gets taken down in a hurry. A backbreaker and elbow keep Terrace in trouble and the Whoopee Cushion (with sound effect) finishes for Doink at 2:28. This feud sums up 1994 pretty well and that’s not a good thing.

We get a video on Earthquake’s sumo career, complete with some pretty cool photos of his 24-0 career. Then he became a WWF wrestler and the rest is history, but he has a lot left to do.

It’s time for the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler, who mocks Roddy Piper’s movies and calls him a coward for not being here. With that out of the way, here are Yokozuna, Mr. Fuji and Jim Cornette to address Earthquake. Cornette talks about the old newsreel footage of Earthquake’s sumo days and says that Earthquake represents the traditional fat American.

Earthquake (the Canadian) the arm chair quarterback who thinks he can play football because he watches it every Sunday. Cornette explains that the name YOKOZUNA means grand sumo champion so of course they’ll accept the challenge. We’ll make it a sumo match with the ropes taken off of the ring. Lawler promises to find out if Undertaker is in.

A trench digger found Undertaker sleeping in the trench. Then Undertaker walked into the woods and disappeared.

Mabel vs. Mike Bell

Oscar is here with Mabel. Bell jumps him from behind to start so Mabel slaps him in the chest a few times. The big clothesline puts Bell down as Savage gets an anonymous note, saying Earthquake is in for the sumo challenge. Mabel works on a short armscissors of all things before dropping the big leg. The splash in the corner sets up the Boss Man Slam to finish Bell at 2:27.

Earthquake is in for next week.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener was good and that’s it for the positives. The King of the Ring stuff is fine for a reason for these people to be fighting but there is a firm limit to how interesting it could be. Throw in a sumo wrestling deal because they’re both big and that’s the extent of the major stories around here. Add in the bad stories and you can see why 1994 has its reputation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania V (2015 Redo): Slow And…..Very Slow

Wrestlemania V
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

It’s back to the same arena as last year for an even longer show. Yes after the marathon that was Wrestlemania IV, this show is actually a bit longer despite there being no tournament. The main event scene is really just a sequel to last year’s match though so the same setting makes sense. Let’s get to it.

WWF Women’s Champion Rockin Robin (half sister of Jake Roberts) sings America the Beautiful and does a decent job. Jesse of course isn’t impressed and doesn’t bring up Donald Trump in the front row again this year.

King Haku vs. Hercules

This is as high as Haku ever got on his own as succeeded Race as the King due to Race’s injuries. This isn’t for the crown though and Hercules is now a face (Heenan had tried to sell him to DiBiase, who referred to Hercules as a slave. This didn’t sit well and Hercules claimed that he was his own man) in powder blue trunks. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Hercules comes back by throwing Haku into the air and just letting him crash to the mat.

Heenan’s advice doesn’t do Haku much good as Hercules drops some elbows but stops to walk around. A second Heenan distraction works a bit better though and Haku gets in some cheap shots to take over. Back in and we hit a bearhug on Hercules to fill in some time but he breaks free and gets two off a cross body. Some clotheslines set up something from the top but Haku gets up a good looking superkick to knock Hercules silly. Back up and Hercules grabs a belly to back suplex but rolls his shoulder up to pin Haku at 6:53.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but this was a strange choice for an opener. I mean did they really think that it made sense to push Hercules as something special? At the time they were actually pushing him as a third Mega Power, which meant “the guy that would take a fall in a six man” but it was really just in name only. This was a pretty pedestrian power match but that superkick to stop Hercules was a nice touch. Haku always had a good superkick and it was cool to see him use it, even in a nothing match like this.

The latest pretty boy tag team called the Rockers refer to themselves tag team specialists and say they’re ready for the Twin Towers (Akeem, formerly known as the One Man Gang and now a dancing African along with the 6’6 380lb Big Boss Man).

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

The Rockers are hungover beyond belief here. Boss Man goes after Marty (Jannetty, partner of Shawn Michaels in case you don’t know the Rockers) and gets decked by Shawn from behind. Shawn punches Akeem to get the big man’s attention before doing the same thing to the Boss Man. The Rockers start in on Akeem’s arm but he throws Marty into a bearhug from Boss Man and adds a standing splash to crush Jannetty between the two of them.

More splashes connect and the Towers’ manager Slick says they need a black referee. Why he wants this isn’t clear but he was shouting it pretty loudly. Marty finally avoids a charge to send the Towers together and Shawn gets the tag to help double team Akeem. They whip him across the ring over and over before a double shoulder gets two. It finally gets down to one on one and Akeem just ends Shawn with one of the hardest clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”

Boss Man misses his top rope splash though and the Rockers double dropkick Akeem to the floor. They mostly miss stereo missile dropkicks to Boss Man and everything breaks down with Boss Man catching a diving Shawn in a spinning powerbomb. That awesome landing isn’t enough so it’s Air Africa (running splash) from Akeem for the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C+. This was fun for how well the Rockers bumped for the monsters here. That clothesline and the powerbomb to Shawn were particularly awesome as Shawn looked dead off both moves. The Twin Towers had just come off feuding with Hogan/Savage but for some reason it never led to the Tag Team Titles or even a serious shot at them.

DiBiase loves getting to be around the rich people in Atlantic City, even if he’s wrestling a commoner like Brutus Beefcake.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

DiBiase’s Million Dollar Title (he couldn’t win the WWF World Title so he made his own) isn’t on the line because Brutus hasn’t earned a shot. Ted shakes hands with Trump before coming in and Donald seems intrigued by the belt. Brutus has his awesome theme music now and it makes his entrance a lot better. Virgil stays in the ring for the first minute or so of the match while DiBiase talks trash to Beefcake.

Brutus gets tired of waiting and backdrops DiBiase out to the floor, followed by some slams and a clothesline to put him right back to the floor. This really hasn’t been a good return to Wrestlemania for DiBiase. He’s already gone from the main event to the third match on the card and now he’s getting beaten up.

Back in and even more right hands stagger Ted until Virgil trips Brutus to give the boss an opening. A middle rope elbow gets two for DiBiase and a suplex sets up the Million Dollar Dream. Brutus grabs the rope and makes his comeback, sending Ted face first into the buckle ten straight times. DiBiase finally knocks Brutus to the floor where Virgil gets in a few shots. Ted follows and they brawl to a double countout at 9:57.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. There wasn’t much of a story to this one and they just did moves to each other for about ten minutes. It’s strange as these two would work well together with Brutus’ great charisma being able to power a sweet comeback. Brutus was never great but the fans loved him and he was adequate enough to work a passable and fun match. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case here but at least they tried.

Post match Brutus cleans house with the hedge clippers to claim a moral victory. As usual, Jesse is on point by calling that assault with a deadly weapon.

Earlier today the Bushwhackers were at the annual Wrestlemania brunch and ate a lot. This isn’t particularly funny.

Fabulous Rougeau Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

The Rougeaus are now managed by Jimmy Hart and All American Boys from Memphis. Butch trips on the way to the ring (to be fair the aisle has steps) and Jesse accuses Gorilla of being drunk in the casino the other night. The Bushwhackers steal Jimmy’s jacket but the Rougeaus save it from being destroyed. So they are good for something. Jimmy gets inside to collect his jacket and gets crushed between the brothers to send him right back to the floor.

Luke and Raymond officially get going as Gorilla questions the Rougeaus being Americans just because they moved here. Jesse: “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” That escalated quite quickly. The brothers double team to take over as Butch is being forced out of the ring and we get to the bizarre part of the match (yes the bizarre part of a Bushwhackers’ match). Raymond lifts Luke up for a slam and Luke intentionally rubs Raymond’s crotch. His hand moves up and down multiple times and that’s all it could have been. I’m guessing it was a rib but it’s quite the jarring visual.

Jacques puts on an abdominal stretch and Raymond flips in over the top for a superkick to Luke’s ribs. They stop to pose though, allowing Luke to crawl over to tag Butch, setting up the Battering Ram (Butch holds Luke’s head and drives him into the ribs) and a double stomach breaker to pin Raymond at 5:09.

Rating: D-. This was a comedy match minus most of the comedy. The Bushwhackers are the definition of a comedy team for kids and there’s nothing wrong with that. These teams feuded for the better part of ever and it was the same result almost every time. You could have cut this out and no one would have missed a thing. Well Raymond might have without that slam but I don’t want to think about that anymore.

The Bushwhackers lick interviewer Sean Mooney on their way up the aisle. Mooney: “Words cannot describe what it’s like to be licked by a Bushwhacker.” I speak from experience to agree with him.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

This is the debut of Perfect’s trademark singlet. Perfect trips on the same step that got Butch. Blazer is Owen Hart in a mask, meaning this has potential to be really good. Feeling out process to start with Perfect taking him into the corner and slapping him right in the mask. Blazer will have none of that and dropkicks Perfect over the top with Perfect doing his awesome bumping to get outside. A baseball slide (nowhere near common yet) staggers Perfect even more and there’s a second dropkick to put him down again.

Blazer’s top rope splash hits knees and Perfect finally gets a breather. These are quite the high spots for 1989. A reverse chinlock doesn’t get Perfect anywhere and Blazer gets two off a belly to belly. Blazer’s crucifix gets a VERY close two but Perfect just blasts him in the face with a forearm. The PerfectPlex ends Blazer at 5:51 and keeps Perfect’s record spotless.

Rating: C+. Good match here but they could have done something really special with more time and a more main event style. Blazer was an excellent high flier (especially for this time) and Perfect was already looking like a polished veteran. It’s not great but this was a fun match while it lasted.

Jesse is presented to the crowd for the third year in a row. For some reason Gorilla is surprised and says he was set up for this one.

Yesterday, Mr. Fuji ran a 5K in a tuxedo and snappy bowler hat while barely breaking a sweat. This is to prove that he’s ready for the handicap match for the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania as they try to make this mean something.

Run-DMC performs the Wrestlemania Rap. Was Gladys Knight busy this year?

We recap Demolition vs. the Powers of Pain (Warlord/Barbarian) which started back at the Survivor Series. Mr. Fuji turned on Demolition to join the Powers of Pain, leading to a title match at the Main Event. Fuji threw salt in Ax’s eyes for the DQ, which somehow resulted in the Powers of Pain getting a rematch here in a 3-2 handicap match where Fuji can help his team win the titles.

Demolition is ready to beat up Fuj the Stooge.

Tag Team Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Demolition is defending but Fuji isn’t the worst addition to the challengers. It’s not that well known but he spent more days as a member of the World Tag Team Champions than anyone in company history at over two and a half years holding half of the titles. He’s 53 here and was a champion as recently as 1982 so it’s not like he hasn’t been out there in 20 years. Fuji throws his salt and bows before we’re ready to go.

Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax taking over and quickly handing it off to Smash for an early neck crank. Gorilla calls the challengers a mongrel team. Demolition is a pair of brawlers but the Powers of Pain are mongrels? That’s quite the stretch Monsoon. Barbarian comes in but gets elbowed in the face three times in a row for his efforts. It’s all Demolition to start until Barbarian chops Smash down to the mat in a pretty rare sight. Warlord comes back in and is immediately double clotheslined but Ax makes the mistake of going after Fuji to change control for the first time.

Fuji comes in for a chop and a falling headbutt which looked a little bit low. Slow stomping ensues, which you have to expect from guys like this. Fuji actually goes up top and misses a…..I’m not sure if it was a legdrop or an elbow and it’s Smash coming in to clean house for some polite applause. Everything breaks down and Fuji throws salt in Warlord’s eyes by mistake, setting up the Demolition Decapitator (backbreaker/middle rope elbow combination) to pin Fuji and retain the titles at 8:55.

Rating: D. Boring match but it was two teams who wrestled the same style which almost never works. Fuji being in there was a nice way to keep the Powers of Pain from getting pinned, probably to allow for house show rematches. Still though, nothing to see here and the fans have made no secret about the fact that they’re just sitting around waiting for Hogan vs. Savage.

Tony Schiavone (he had a pot of coffee for the company in the late 80s and early 90s) is thrown out of Savage’s locker room as the champ shouts that he’s ready for Hogan.

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Garvin is a brawler who didn’t do much in the company. Before the match, we have to pause for the return of Jimmy Snuka. It has nothing to do with the match but he’s back after nearly four years away. Totally pointless cameo that makes me think it wasn’t meant to air here.

Bravo attacks from behind and forearms Garvin in the back as Gorilla and Jesse argue over how strong Bravo really is. A kick to the chest gets two for Dino and even Jesse rips on Bravo for thinking that would get the pin. Garvin suddenly starts his comeback with a bunch of right hands (his finisher back in the NWA) and a sleeper but Bravo is right in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Ronnie but he walks into the side suplex for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D. This would have been a lame match on Superstars and it makes Wrestlemania? Like I said, so much of this card feels like they’re trying to fill in time and that really shouldn’t be happening on the biggest show of the year. This easily could have been cut off to save about six minutes and keep the crowd from getting so bored.

Garvin beats up Frenchy Martin because he’s a sore loser.

Brainbusters vs. Strike Force

The Brainbusters (Gorilla: “Two really tough dudes!”) are Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard with Heenan in their corner. Strike Force has been inactive for a long time due to Martel being injured but he begged Tito to reform the team. Blanchard starts with Martel and Arn is cheating just a few seconds in with a knee to the back. Everything breaks down and stereo dropkicks put the Busters on the floor.

Back in and Martel takes Anderson, the power of the team, to the mat in a test of strength. Blanchard fights up but Tito gets in a blind tag to put Tully in a Figure Four. Martel puts Anderson in one as well but the threats of a disqualification breaks them up. Strike Force tries another blind tag but Santana’s flying forearm hits Martel by mistake, knocking him out to the floor.

The Busters take over on the distracted Santana but he gets two off a middle rope cross body. Arn puts him back down with a knee in the corner as Martel is still shaken up by the forearm. Tito slams Anderson off the top (that might have been a mini tribute to Flair) and goes for the tag but Martel drops to the floor and walks out. So Tito is alone against the Brainbusters and this doesn’t bode well. The yet to be named spinebuster plants Tito, who is still looking over at the empty corner. A spike piledriver puts Tito out of his misery at 9:13.

Rating: C+. Fun match here which was more of a way to set up the Martel vs. Santana feud which went on for well over a year. It’s a simple story and a great way for Martel to look like a jerk, which made for a solid heel turn. The Brainbusters were going to become a much bigger deal and would finally end Demolition’s title reign by the end of the summer.

Martel says he’s tired of carrying Santana, who has always been holding him back. Gene is livid over Martel’s actions. Like more livid than he is on a day to day basis.

It’s time for Roddy Piper’s big return with a live Piper’s Pit. Fink gives Piper a big introduction but we get Brother Love (a heel character who parodied TV evangelists of the 80s) in a kilt instead. Love says his guest is brother Rodney and we get an outstanding Piper impression as Love plays both host and guest. This doesn’t last long so Love brings out the real guest: loudmouthed talk show host Morton Downey Jr. who was a forerunner to Jerry Springer and chain smoked (cigarettes, which Gorilla calls weed).

After a few insults from Downey, here’s the real Piper to wake the fans up. Piper starts asking Love questions but won’t let him answer because he didn’t want to know that badly. He makes fun of Love’s red face but Love stands up to him. Love: “You can’t scare me!” Piper: “WAH!” Guess what happens. Piper brings up all the gifts that DiBiase has given Love and thinks Love is wearing a fake Rolex. Downey throws cigarettes at Piper as Roddy asks if Love is any part Scottish. If he is, there shouldn’t be anything under that dress.

They argue over who is wearing a dress and who is wearing a kilt with Piper threatening to bite Love’s face off if Love touches Piper’s kilt. Piper rips Love’s kilt off to reveal red underwear and Love bails. So it’s just Piper vs. Downey now and Morton starts blowing smoke in Piper’s face, which Piper doesn’t approve of. Piper asks why Morton Downey Jr.’s father isn’t named Morton Downey so Morton implies he slept with Piper’s mother. Apparently Morton used to have a bunch of warts on his face but he gave them to a homeless warthog. Piper: “I didn’t know your girlfriend was homeless.”

Downey does his ZIP IT catchphrase and they just keep going. Fan: “THIS IS STUPID!” Downey thinks Piper is a transvestite and blows even more smoke. He says it’s healthy and that Piper could live as long as Downey could (Downey would eventually die of lung cancer). Piper asks for a cigarette of his own but instead sprays Downey with a fire extinguisher. This ran nearly SIXTEEN MINUTES or longer than any Wrestlemania match to date. It’s also aged horribly as Downey’s show would be canceled by the end of the summer.

Preview of Hulk Hogan’s cult classic movie No Holds Barred.

Donald Trump thinks this has been a great event for the Trump Organization and that the casinos have been doing very well. Sean Mooney sounds incredibly nervous here.

Jesse is LIVID that Hogan is invading Hollywood. He’s so mad that he looks at the wrong camera when he starts ranting about how scared Hogan is of Savage. Hogan can drive Jesse’s limo in Hollywood and Jesse storms off, only to return about ten seconds later.

We’re in intermission if that’s not clear.

Long recap of the Mega Powers forming and splitting to get us to the main event. Like I said, Hogan was taking a bit too much of the spotlight, including getting the win at Survivor Series after Savage did most of the work. It was finally too much for Savage and he snapped to set up the Mega Powers exploding.

Hogan can’t believe we’re here just a year after it all started. He should have been able to see it coming though as Savage just wasn’t ready to handle the pressure. Savage made Hogan believe that he believed in Hogan’s demandments (train, say your prayers and eat your vitamins) and that he was in Hogan’s corner. That line right there sums up why Savage is pretty justified: why should the WWF World Champion be in Hogan’s corner and have to follow Hogan’s rules? As I said for Wrestlemania III: Hogan only has himself to blame for so many of his problems.

Hogan isn’t done yet as he talks about Trump sending a team of scientists to check the arena’s foundation because the people in the building might be swallowed by the earth. What is up with Hogan worrying about the world falling apart whenever he’s in Trump Plaza? That’s two years in a row now. Anyway, he wants Savage at his best and promises to take the title back.

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Big John Studd returned around the beginning of the year and is guest referee here. As you can probably guess, Andre’s career hasn’t done so well lately as his mounting injuries have pretty much rendered him to limited appearances and little more. The idea here is Andre is terrified of snakes, much like so many of Jake’s opponents. That’s rather evil of Jake but we’ve already established that heroes can be horrible people in the world of wrestling.

Andre jumps Jake to start and sends him face first into an exposed buckle, which lost its padding somewhere during the entrances. Somehow being sent into the exposed buckle by ANDRE THE GIANT doesn’t even knock Jake to the mat. Jesse thinks Jake is cunning but he’s in there with a giant. Gorilla: “Didn’t you ever hear the story of David?” Jesse: “Sure. He used a foreign object.” Point to Ventura. Andre gets him into the corner and crushes him with the power of fat.

Heenan yells insults as Andre stands on Jake’s chest. Jake slugs away and knocks Andre into the ropes for the tie up but Heenan gets the Giant’s arm’s loose for some choking. Andre tries a shoulder in the corner but “catches a short knee” and staggers backwards, even though Jake never moved his leg. To this day I’m still not sure what happened there. A big chest bump knocks Jake to the floor but Studd won’t let him bring the snake inside. Andre and Studd get in a fight and here’s DiBiase to steal the snake, triggering their feud. Jake chases him off as Andre chokes Studd and that’s a DQ at 9:40.

Rating: D. These matches are feeling longer and longer, even if it’s a bigger match like this one. Jake was an act that people never got tired of, even if he was eternally stuck in the midcard. Andre was into sad territory here as he could barely move and was really just shouting and using his fat instead of doing anything of value.

Jake catches DiBiase and brings in the snake to clear the ring.

Sean Mooney gives us a worthless report from the cheap seats.

Sensational Sherri is going to take the Women’s Title back from Rockin Robin and hopes Elizabeth gets hurt in the main event. That’s just evil.

Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine vs. Hart Foundation

Honky Tonk, now firmly down the card after losing the Intercontinental Title at the first Summerslam, gets beaten up by Hart to open things up. Valentine comes in and gets dropkicked as well, followed by Neidhart’s slingshot shoulder for two. It’s back to Bret who walks into a backbreaker as the bad guys finally over. A kind of fireman’s carry suplex and some elbows from Honky Tonk have Bret in trouble as Jesse calls Pat Patterson a relic of the past.

There’s the Shake Rattle and Roll but it’s off to Valentine for the Figure Four instead of a cover. Bret easily breaks out of the hold and cross bodies Honky Tonk, only to fall out to the floor. Back in and Bret loads up an O’Connor roll on Greg but runs over for the tag to Neidhart instead of covering. That’s rather smart and something you would only expect from someone like Bret. The Harts take over and Bret starts with the prototype of the Five Moves of Doom. Everything breaks down and Neidhart throws in Jimmy’s megaphone for a shot to Honky Tonk’s shoulder for the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. Totally meaningless filler match here but at least it wasn’t bad for a change. The Harts were still finding their groove as a face team, including not blatant cheating with foreign objects to beat a thrown together team like this. We’ll be seeing Valentine and Honky Tonk together as an actual team later on.

We recap Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude, which started in a pose down at the Royal Rumble. Rude was about to lose so he attacked Warrior with an exercise bar. Warrior wasn’t pleased and this is the result.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Warrior won the title at Summerslam in a big surprise and has been dominant ever since. Rude tries to jump him at the bell but his knee hits Warrior’s belt. To be fair, Rude didn’t get smart until he went to WCW. Warrior LAUNCHES him across the ring over and over before throwing on a bearhug. Some fingers to the eyes break the hold and Rude comes off the top with a missile dropkick of all things for two.

Warrior comes right back with another bearhug and the referee is even nice enough to stop Rude from poking the eyes again. Rude gets out off something we missed because the camera was on Heenan and a piledriver gets a very delayed cover. The kickout is a lot weaker this time and Rude follows up with a jawbreaker.

Rude cranks on both arms at once but Warrior makes the ropes and shoves Rude away. The champ throws him into the corner a few times but misses a splash. He’s still able to break up the Rude Awakening though and Rude is in trouble. Warrior knocks him to the floor for a suplex but Heenan trips Warrior up so Rude falls on top, leaving Bobby to hold the foot down to give Rick the pin and the title at 9:41. That’s Warrior’s first loss and somehow that’s Heenan’s first title as a manager in the WWF.

Rating: B. This was a pairing that never made sense as neither guy was known as the best in ring performer on their own but they meshed together very well and produced some good stuff. Rude was still goofy and Warrior was still insane so this was a major upset and big surprise all around. Good match too.

Warrior beats Heenan up because he’s a sore loser.

Bad News Brown vs. Jim Duggan

Just a brawl here. Duggan slugs away to start and clotheslines Brown out to the floor. Back in and it’s Brown’s turn to hammer on Duggan but the shots to the head have no effect on Jim. The Ghetto Blaster misses though and Brown rolls outside to grab a chair. Duggan gets his 2×4 and it’s a double DQ at 3:45.

Rating: D. This could have been fun if it wasn’t at Wrestlemania. Instead it’s yet another way to fill in time before the match on the show that everyone wanted to see. Thankfully they kept this short but that doesn’t mean it has any business actually taking place. Bad stuff here that could have been a fun garbage brawl.

Duggan hits him with the 2×4 to send Brown staggering away. The announcement of the double DQ crushes the crowd all over again.

Red Rooster can’t wait to beat up Bobby Heenan and it’s going to be a great day in the barnyard. The idea is Rooster is a walking chicken who used to be managed by Heenan. Bobby said he could take anyone to success, even someone as untalented as Rooster. I think you can piece the rest together yourself.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

Heenan can barely walk after the beating from Warrior. Right hands, Heenan misses a charge and hits the post, Rooster pins him in 30 seconds.

Post match the Brooklyn Brawler comes in but gets beaten up by Rooster. This is really the last match before the main event at WRESTLEMANIA.

Elizabeth says she’ll be in a neutral corner for the main event. All she hopes is that neither man is injured.

Tony Schiavone says the locker room has all gone into the arena to watch the match.

Sean Mooney polls fans on who is going to win. My goodness ENOUGH FILLER ALREADY.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Hulk Hogan

Savage is defending and comes out first. Elizabeth gets her own entrance. Jesse sums it up very well by saying “This is truly what the term main event was invented for. This is the MAIN EVENT.” Savage bails to start and poses on the corner. Hogan easily shoves him down and it’s time to stall some more.

The announcers get into a heated argument over how important Elizabeth really is until Hogan shoulders Savage to the floor where he hides behind Elizabeth. Jesse: “With what Elizabeth has pulled, a punch in the nose might be what she needs.” Back in and Hogan gets technical (huh???) to take Savage down into a front facelock. Some right hands are more Hogan’s style but Savage snaps him throat first across the top rope for two.

We hit the armbar from the champ but Hogan fights up and uses the trunks to pull Savage to the floor. Back in and Hogan drops a bunch of elbows for two but Savage pulls him into a chinlock. Hulk has a cut over his eye and Savage knees him into the buckle for two, even with a handful of trunks. Hogan fights up again and just slams Savage over the top to the floor.

Randy wants nothing to do with Elizabeth’s help so he pulls Hogan to the floor and posts him. Now Elizabeth goes to check on Hogan and gets ejected to make it one on one. Savage ax handles Hogan throat first into the barricade followed by a knee drop for two. With that not working, Savage just chokes him down instead. The top rope elbow gets two and it’s time to Hulk Up. The three punches set up the big boot and the legdrop to give Hogan the title back at 17:54.

Rating: B. It’s a good match but there was no way they were going to be able to live up to the hype they had created for this. This was one of the biggest matches of all time and there was really no way they could get much higher than they did here. I can accept Hogan winning for the safe move and the good feeling, but can you imagine if Savage had cheated to win (maybe involving Elizabeth somehow) and kept the title until Summerslam? Still though, I understand why they did this as it wasn’t exactly a time when heels could get the last laugh of a major show.

A lot of posing and raving from Jesse take us out.

Overall Rating: D-. This is by far the worst Wrestlemania to date and in the running for the worst of all time. I understand the idea of a one match card but they weren’t even trying to do anything more than fill in time. Look at some of these matches and tell me which ones deserved to be on here aside from the main event. You have Andre vs. Roberts, the Intercontinental Title and Tag Team Title matches, and maybe the Brainbusters vs. Strike Force.

In other words, about two thirds of this show ranges from worthless to not needing to be on the card. The main event is good but there’s no way they could make up for the disaster that was the rest of the show. It’s way too long, not any good most of the time, and a show that only needed to be about one match. Throw in the WAY too long Piper segment and this was a disaster. Absolutely horrible show.

Ratings Comparison

Hercules vs. King Haku

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Twin Towers vs. Rockers

Original: C

2013 Redo: C

2015 Redo: C+

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2015 Redo: D+

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Original: C-

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C+

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2015 Redo: C

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

Original: F

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D-

It just keeps getting worse.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/12/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-5-hogan-vs-savage-and-thats-about-it/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/14/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-v-the-first-wrestlemania-sequel/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania V (2013 Redo): They Had Chemistry

Wrestlemania V
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Given how this year’s (2013) Wrestlemania is more or less a sequel to last year’s, this is an appropriate show to get to. This is more or less the followup to Wrestlemania IV as Savage has snapped on Hogan, claiming that Hulk is jealous of the title and all that jazz. That’s really all you need to know about this show as it’s the only match that means anything at all. Let’s get to it.

Rockin Robin, the reigning Women’s Champion, sings America the Beautiful.

Hercules vs. King Haku

The crown isn’t on the line here. Haku jumps him from behind to start but Herc comes back with a hip toss and a slam followed by a release flapjack. A clothesline puts Haku on the floor but Hercules suplexes him right back in. Some elbow drops keep Haku down but Hercules goes after Heenan like an idiot. Haku jumps him from behind and we head back inside for a pair of backbreakers for a pair of counts.

Since this is a power match we hit the bearhug as even Jesse says this isn’t going to get a submission. Gorilla criticizes Haku’s technique, prompting Jesse to ask what a gorilla would know about bearhugging. Herc breaks the hold and the King yells at the referee, only to get caught by a cross body. Hercules pounds away and hits a running knee lift followed by some clotheslines. A powerslam gets two but Hercules jumps off the top into most of a superkick. Haku misses a top rope headbutt and Hercules wins with the belly to back suplex with a last second shoulder raise.

Rating: C-. Nothing special here but it was a basic enough match to get things going. Hercules was a generic power guy so there wasn’t much to get interested in with him. Haku would join up with Andre to win the tag titles by the end of the year. I’m not sure if there was much of a feud here other than Hercules vs. Heenan which was only touched on.

The Rockers say they can handle the Twin Towers.

Rockers vs. Twin Towers

That would be Big Boss Man/Akeem. Shawn makes his Wrestlemania debut by starting against Big Boss Man and the little guy takes over quickly. He also decks Akeem in the corner and gets to face the bigger man (Akeem, the former One Man Gang). The Rockers start flying in and out of the ring as they work over Akeem’s arm. The arm cranking continues but Akeem makes a blind tag. Marty gets tossed into Boss Man’s arms and crushed by both big men. This is back when Boss Man weighed about 400lbs so it’s a big more painful than it sounds.

The Towers take their turns with fat man offense as Marty is in big trouble in a hurry. Akeem avalanches him in the corner and it’s back to Boss Man. We get heel miscommunication though and Boss Man is knocked to the floor by his own partner. Off to Shawn who pounds away in the corner before both Rockers hit a series of whips into the corner. A double middle rope shoulder finally takes Akeem down for two and it’s back to Shawn on his own.

Akeem KILLS HIM with a clothesline (Jesse: “I think he irritated Akeem!”) but Boss Man misses a top rope splash. The Rockers hit some double dropkicks (one of which sees Shawn completely missing Bossman) but a top rope rana is countered into a wicked powerbomb by Boss Man. Akeem crushes Shawn with a splash for the pin.

Rating: C. Considering how hungover the Rockers were in this match (as confirmed by Shawn), this came off pretty well. The Rockers sold the power offense like few others could, which made for some awesome visuals. They would get a lot better over the coming years but this wasn’t their best performance.

Ted DiBiase talks about hanging out with Donald Trump and having them here to see him beat up Beefcake.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

This isn’t for the Million Dollar Title which ticks Gorilla off. Brutus has his AWESOME music at this point. Beefcake jumps DiBiase to start to tick off Jesse as well. Ted bails to the floor and comes back in for some chops, only to be knocked right back to the floor by a right hand. Back in again and Brutus wins a slugout but Vigril trips him up to give DiBiase his first control.

DiBiase pounds away (there’s a lot of punching in this match) and hits the falling punch for two. I love that move. A middle rope ax handle puts Brutus down again but Beefcake reverses a suplex to put DiBiase down right next to him. A double clothesline does the exact same thing but Ted is up first. He tries another suplex which actually works this time, followed by the Million Dollar Dream.

Brutus gets to the rope so they slug it out some more with the barber taking over. Now Beefcake throws on his own sleeper but gets sent out to the floor in a counter. Virgil interferes a bit to distract Beefcake but DiBiase stupidly goes out to the floor as well. They brawl to a double countout to a big boo from the crowd.

Rating: C-. This was mainly a punching match as well as a pretty big fall for DiBiase. To go from the main event to the third match on the card in a year is a pretty big fall, which is saying a lot as DiBiase was still a very evil heel. Brutus was getting very popular very fast and would be paired with Hogan soon after this for a BIG rub.

Brutus beats up Virgil post match and chases them off with the hedge clippers. You know, assault with a deadly weapon as Jesse calls it.

We go to the Wrestlemania brunch with the Bushwhackers eating a lot and trying to talk about their match with the Rougeaus.

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

ALL AMERICAN BOYS BABY! That would be the Rougeau’s theme song and one of the most awesome entrances in company history. Seriously, go Youtube that thing. Jimmy Hart loses his jacket somehow but the Rougeaus save it in a humane act. Not that it matters as the Bushwhackers clear the ring a second later. Luke and Ray start things off and Ray quickly takes him down. I turn my head for a minute and come back to hearing Jesse say “So as far as you’re concerned, tear down the Statue of Liberty?” Like I said, commentary was a bit different back then.

Luke and Butch clear the ring of Rougeaus again before it’s down to Luke and Jacques. Butch tries to interfere for no apparent reason and Luke gets caught in a Boston Crab. In a sequence that has haunted me for years, Ray loads up Luke for a slam and while Luke is upside down, he rubs Ray’s crotch. There’s nothing more to it than that and to this day I don’t know why he did that.

Anyway Ray puts on an abdominal stretch as a fan or two chants USA. In theory that would be for the Rougeaus here who are the All American Boys facing the guys from New Zealand. The Rougeaus prematurely hug and get caught by the Battering Ram and a double gutbuster is good for the pin on Ray out of nowhere.

Rating: D. It’s a comedy match and not a very fun one. This is called a big upset but I don’t really see how you can call it that. It’s not like either team is great or even good here and the Bushwhackers were still brand new here, so presumably they had won most of their matches up to this point. I don’t get it but whatever.

Sean Mooney is licked by the Bushwhackers and says words can’t describe it. As someone who has been licked by one as well, that’s very true.

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

That would be Owen Hart in a kind of superhero gimmick that eventually led to his death. Perfect is pretty new here too and I believe is debuting his singlet look. Hennig hits a quick hiptoss that doesn’t do much at all. Blazer blocks a slap and takes Perfect down to stagger Hennig a bit.

They slightly botch a flip out of a hiptoss and Blazer dropkicks Perfect to the floor. Blazer hits a quick hiptoss (why is that so popular here?) of his own and a dropkick for no cover. A modified northern lights suplex gets two for Blue but a top rope splash hits knees. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments by Perfect but Blazer fights up and hits a standing powerslam and a belly to belly for two each. A crucifix gets two more but Blazer spends too long arguing with the referee and the PerfectPlex ends this clean.

Rating: C+. This match is popular for some reason but it’s only pretty good. Owen would get to show off a lot better later on and the Blazer gimmick didn’t stick around that long. The ending here was clean too which is what Perfect would get quite often around this time. He wouldn’t really do anything of note for about a year though until having a house show feud with Hogan.

Jesse is presented to the crowd again like last year.

Mr. Fuji allegedly runs a 5K run in a tuxedo.

To really make this show feel bloated, here’s Run DMC with the Wrestlemania Rap.

We recap the double tag team turn at Survivor Series 1988 with Fuji leaving Demolition to hook up with the Powers of Pain.

Demolition says they’re ready for Fuj the Stooge.

Tag Titles: Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Demolition is defending and this is a handicap match. Warlord and Ax get things going with Ax pounding him down quickly. Smash comes in for a double beatdown and it’s off to a neck crank. Back to Ax for the same move and he yells at Fuji a bit. The Demolition beatdown ensues but Warlord powers Ax over to the corner for a tag to Barbarian. He shoves Smash into the corner and is immediately clotheslined down by a fresh Ax. The crowd is dead here.

Barbie gets double teamed by the champions and Ax hooks a neck crank. Back to Smash who gets chopped down before it’s back to Warlord. The advantage lasts for all of three seconds before the Powers finally get some successful cheating going on. Off to Fuji for the first time for some old man offense that is far better than Heenan or Hart at least. Barbarian comes in again and the yet to be named Kick of Fear puts Ax down again for no cover.

The match continues to stay in second gear at best with both teams barely moving at all. Fuji tries the flashiest move of the match by going up top, only to miss Ax. Gorilla: “He hasn’t wrestled in years, just like us.” Jesse: “Us? For Fuji and I it’s been years. For you many years.” Barbarian gets clotheslined down again and it’s off to Smash as everything breaks down. Fuji loads up his salt but hits Warlord by mistake. The Demolition Decapitator is enough to end Fuji and retain the titles.

Rating: D. I’m a fan of Demolition but this was a REALLY weak performance by both teams. The Powers would split soon after this which was the best idea for both guys as they were never going to break through the ceiling with Demolition on top. The title reign would continue to go on for another two months or so, reaching at nearly a year and a half.

Randy Savage has nothing to say other than he’s ready for Hogan.

Ronnie Garvin vs. Dino Bravo

For absolutely no apparent reason, Jimmy Snuka is brought out after the wrestlers’ intros. Bravo jumps him from behind to open the match before it’s off to a bearhug. That goes about three seconds do Dino loads up a powerbomb instead. Garvin escapes and starts a flurry of offense and gets two off a jackknife cover. A sleeper is easily broken up by Bravo and he breaks up a piledriver as well. Garvin tries to pound away in the corner but gets caught in an atomic drop and the side suplex for the pin by Bravo.

Rating: D. This didn’t do anything to get the crowd going which is a big problem with this show: the crowd doesn’t care about most of this stuff and why in the world would they? This is a random match between two guys that have no reason to fight and have no future as a main talent. Nothing to see here at all.

Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, gets beaten down by Garvin post match just because.

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

This is the return of Strike Force after Martel had a bad injury. Blanchard and Martel start things off and Rick almost immediately has to punch out of the wrong corner. Off to Anderson who gets rammed face first into the mat before being put in his own test of strength on the mat. Arn catches Martel in a body scissors but Rick turns it over into his signature Boston Crab.

Blanchard makes the save but Tito immediately comes in to put him in the Figure Four. Martel puts one on Anderson as well as things break down. We get some near falls by Tito but he accidentally hits the forearm on Martel to take him out. Rick gets ticked off as Tito is basically in a handicap match. The Busters get to take over on Tito but you know Santana can hang with either guy.

Arn goes up but gets slammed down, allowing Tito to set up a hot tag to….no one. Martel drops down to the floor and walks out on his partner, officially making it a handicap match. The yet to be named spinebuster from Anderson plants Tito and it’s back to Blanchard. Tully blocks a monkey flip and the spike piledriver kills Tito dead for the pin.

Rating: B-. Best match of the night so far as all four guys were moving out there. Tito could go with the best of them and he had some of the best of them to do that with in this one. Martel and Santana would feud on and off for about a year until they just stopped fighting out of nowhere.

Martel says he’s tired of carrying Tito and that’s that.

It’s time for the return of Roddy Piper in Piper’s Pit, but after a long introduction by Fink, we get Brother Love in a kilt instead. You younguns might know him as Bruce Prichard from Gut Check. Love interviews “himself” and does one heck of a Roddy Piper impression in the process. Morton Downey Jr., a kind of forefather to Jerry Springer, is the actual guest. He runs to the ring and immediately lights up a cigarette and gay jokes abound about Love.

Now the real Piper comes out to make fun of Love for being feminine. Roddy won’t let Love answer any questions by saying he doesn’t really want to know that badly. Morton is on his fifth cigarette or so at this point. This goes on FOREVER until Love says he’s a bit Scotch. You know, as in from Scotland. Piper rips off Love’s kilt and the Brother sprints off. Finally we get to Downey who implies he slept with Piper’s mom.

Morton keeps blowing smoke in Piper’s face as Piper makes fun of Downey for having warts on his face. Piper gets annoyed with the smoke and Downey calls him a transvestite. Roddy asks for a smoke of his own and sprays Downey with a fire extinguisher. This took FIFTEEN MINUTES, as in longer than all but the main event tonight.

We get an ad for No Holds Barred, Hogan’s acting debut.

Donald Trump likes hosting Wrestlemania.

Ventura goes into a hilarious rant against Hogan for invading Hollywood because Hogan needs a job after Savage beats him tonight. Jesse shouts that Hulk can drive his limo and storms off.

We recap the Megapowers feud as intermission continues. Basically Savage won the title at Mania 4 then teamed up with Hogan. Hogan kept getting the pins and finally at Main Event II, Savage accidentally wiped out Elizabeth. Hogan took Liz to the back to get attention but it left Savage alone. Finally Savage slapped Hogan and turned heel again, leading to the heel promo of a lifetime as he ERUPTED on Hogan, letting out every bit of his pent up rage and jealousy before blasting Hogan with the title in the medical room.

Hogan says it was Savage eaten alive by the jealousy and the title is coming home tonight. This somehow turns into a talk about destroying the Trump Plaza, which I think he touched on last year too.

Andre the Giant vs. Jake Roberts

Big John Studd is referee and comes out to what would become Jim Duggan’s music. This was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd but Studd left before it went anywhere. Sometime before the match, Andre and Heenan get the turnbuckle pad off and Jake goes face first into the steel. Ventura and Gorilla talk about David vs. Goliath (Jesse: “He used a foreign object.”) as Jake reaches for the snake bag. That goes nowhere so Studd crushes him in the corner.

Andre looks so different than he did two years ago. In Detroit he looked like a killing machine but here he looks like a lumbering oaf. Giant steps on Jake a few times but Roberts comes back with some strikes. He knocks Andre into the ropes and chokes away, only to see Andre get his arm loose and choke Jake right back.

In a moment that I’ve never seen explained, Andre fires some shoulders into Jake in the corner, only to stagger backwards. I’m guessing Jake was supposed to knee him (the announcers suggested he did) but Jake’s legs never moved. Either way, Roberts pounds away a bit before being knocked to the floor. Studd and Andre get in a shoving match as Ted DiBiase runs out to steal the snake. Andre chokes Studd until Jake chases DiBiase down and gets the snake back. He slides Damien in and the giant runs from the smaller referee giant, giving Jake the DQ win.

Rating: D. ANOTHER match that didn’t go anywhere here as it was hard to buy Jake as being a threat to Andre while at the same time it was hard to be intimidated by the Giant due to how old and banged up he was. Nothing match here which was supposed to set up Andre vs. Studd, but instead Studd retired so Andre got a tag title reign instead.

Sensational Sherri wants to fight Rockin Robin and hopes Liz gets hurt today.

Greg Valentine/Honky Tonk Man vs. Hart Foundation

Valentine and Honky aren’t Rhythm and Blues yet. Bret and Honky start and it’s atomic drops all around. Honky sells his hilariously but Greg plays it a bit more serious. Off to Anvil for some power but Bret misses the middle rope elbow. The beating begins and you know Hart is going to sell things very well. Valentine gets to pound away as Gorilla says Greg isn’t warmed up yet.

Honky hits the Shake Rattle and Roll but tags in Valentine for the Figure Four instead. Greg gets rolled up for two instead as Gorilla goes NUTS complaining about Honky not covering. The hot tag brings in Anvil again to clean house on both heels. A great clothesline gets two on the Hammer before it’s back to Bret for the middle rope elbow. Everything breaks down and Bret gets Jimmy Hart’s megaphon to drill Honky for the pin.

Rating: D+. Enough filler matches already! This is probably the fourth match out of ten so far that have been there with no particular reason for it to happen. The show is already well over two and a half hours now and there are still four matches to go. That’s one of the problems with the late 80s: they made the shows long for the sake of having them be long.

We recap Rude vs. Warrior which is basically just because Rude attacked Warrior at the Rumble Super Posedown and the champion wants revenge.

Intercontinental Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude

Warrior is defending but Rude has the belt imprinted on his tights. Rude tries a knee to the ribs but hits the belt by mistake. Warrior immediately takes over with the power game and LAUNCHES Rude into the corner. The champ throws on a bearhug for a bit until Rude finally pokes him in the eyes to escape. Rude busts out a MISSILE DROPKICK for two but gets launched off Warrion on the kickout.

Back to the hearhug but Rude gets out the same way as he did the first time. Warrior responds by biting Rude in the face but the splash hits knees. A piledriver puts Warrior down but Rick can’t immediately cover. It only gets two but the kickout is much weaker than earlier. Rude tries to swivel his hips but his back is too messed up. He cranks back on Warrior’s arms but the champion gets to the ropes and starts shaking away.

Here come the shoulders from Warrior and he plants Rude face first into the mat a few times. Warrior tries a slam or something but drops Rude and almost puts him on the floor. Rude gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Warrior but the Rude Awakening is broken through pure power. Rick is clotheslined to the floor and Warrior suplexes him back in, only to have Heenan trip Warrior up and hold down his foot for the shocking upset and the title to Rude. This might have been Warrior’s first televised loss but I don’t think it was.

Rating: B. This is one of those pairings that just worked no matter what you had them do. You often hear about people having chemistry and that’s what you had here: these two could just work well together for no apparent reason and this is a fine example. Warrior would get the title back later in the year before moving to the world title scene a few months later. Good match here.

Warrior beats up Heenan post match. Remember that for later.

Bad News Brown vs. Jim Duggan

This show MUST continue! Again no reason to this match and they’re just fighting to fill in another five minutes on this already WAY too long card. They punch each other a lot and Duggan knocks him to the floor. Brown comes back in with his judo stuff but misses the Ghetto Blaster (running enziguri). Bad News gets annoyed and goes to the floor for a chair but Duggan hits it with the board for the double DQ.

Rating: D-. This is the twelfth match on this show and we’re over three hours and three minutes into it already. There is no reason at all for this to be continuing but it is anyway just because. Duggan would go on to feud with whoever he could find as would Brown, showing why this match didn’t need to happen at all.

Red Rooster says he’ll beat Heenan and it’ll be a great day in the barnyard.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

There’s actually a backstory: Heenan managed Rooster but said he was limited so Rooster dumped Heenan. Bobby is hurt so he brings the Brooklyn Brawler with him. Those sentences take as long to type as the match lasts as Rooster hits him once, Heenan misses a charge into the post, gets whipped into the buckle and the match is over in 30 seconds. To recap, Rooster beat him with an Irish whip.

Just to drag this out EVEN LONGER, the Brawler beats the Rooster up, because WE HAVE TO PUSH BROOKLN FREAKING BRAWLER.

Liz says she’ll be in a neutral corner tonight and won’t cheer for either guy in the main event.

Tony Schiavone and Sean Mooney fill in even MORE time.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

This is huge and Savage is on fire here. As I said Liz is in a neutral corner despite never being Hogan’s manager as a singles guy ever. Savage comes out first for no apparent reason. Savage immediately heads to the floor to stall as you would expect him to do. The fans HATE him at this point after loving him like crazy a year earlier. Hogan finally shoves Savage down and it’s time to stall some more.

Back up and Hogan shoulders him down again for the third trip to the floor for Savage. As Jesse and Gorilla get in an argument over the value of managers, Savage grabs a headlock. Hulk shoves him off and Randy heads outside, only to hide behind Liz in a truly evil move. Back in again and Hogan actually uses a nice amateur move and hooks a front facelock. That wasn’t bad at all. Savage powers out of it (surprising as well) and pokes Hogan in the eye to take over.

A top rope ax handle gets one on Hogan and it’s off to an armbar. In something you don’t often see, Hogan is pulled down to the mat by his hair. It feels weird even typing that. Hulk uses a handful of trunks to launch Randy out to the floor and Jesse freaks out. Back in and a clothesline puts Randy down, followed by a series of elbow drops. Hulk is bleeding above the eye.

Randy gets in a shot to the face and puts on a fast sleeper which is transitioned into a chinlock. Hulk comes back with an atomic drop but an elbow drop misses. A shot into the buckle sets up a rollup with trunks for two on Hulk. Savage stomps on his fingers which ticks Hogan off. Hogan slams Savage to the floor where the champion doesn’t want Liz’s help. Hulk follows him out and rams Randy’s face into the barricade.

Savage escapes being posted and sends Hogan in by mistake. After sending Hulk back in, Randy yells at Liz a bit more and shoves her up the aisle. The referee ejects Liz, making the only interesting factor a nonfactor. Back to the floor and Savage drops the ax handle off the top to send Hogan throat first into the barricade. Savage goes after the throat with various evil measures but the elbow only gets two. Hulk Up, big boot, leg drop, new champion.

Rating: B-. It’s Hogan vs. Savage so these two are always going to have at least a watchable match, but at the end of the day this was pretty much designed to be a Hogan win and that’s what it wound up being. The smart move would be to have Savage keep the title by DQ or something, causing Hulk to chase the title until Summerslam for the title change. But instead we go with the easy (and not horrible) ending. It’s a good match here but not great.

Hogan celebrates forever to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty terrible. The main words you probably heard me say in here were things like “it keeps going” or “filler”. That’s the problem with this show: there’s WAY too much stuff going on with 14 matches, that stupid rap, and the fifteen minute Piper segment. This show runs nearly three hours and forty minutes which is WAY too much for a single show given what they had going on at this point. Probably five matches at minimum could be called filler here. That’s WAY too much and I can see why this is considered such a lame show.

Ratings Comparison

Hercules vs. King Haku

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Twin Towers vs. Rockers

Original: C

Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Bushwhackers vs. Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

Original: D-

Redo: D

Mr. Perfect vs. Blue Blazer

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Demolition vs. Powers of Pain/Mr. Fuji

Original: C-

Redo: D

Dino Bravo vs. Ronnie Garvin

Original: F

Redo: D

Brain Busters vs. Strike Force

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Andre the Giant

Original: D

Redo: D

Hart Foundation vs. Honky Tonk Man/Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Original: B

Redo: B

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

Original: F

Redo: D-

Red Rooster vs. Brooklyn Brawler

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: D+

Redo: D

Wow that was a rather boring redo.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/12/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-5-hogan-vs-savage-and-thats-about-it/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania V (Original): Explosion

Wrestlemania 5
Date: April 2, 1989
Location: Trump Plaza, Atlantic City, New Jersey
Attendance: 18,946
Announcers: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Rockin Robin

This show is more or less the WWF waking up and realizing that not announcing your main event until 20 minutes before it happens isn’t really a good idea. The tagline for this show was very simple: The Mega Powers Explode! Simple concept that’s as old as wrestling itself: Hogan helps Savage become champion, Hogan gets the spotlight even without the belt, Savage’s jealousy gets the best of him and he snaps over a certain incident.

In this case, the incident was on my first birthday in a tag match with Akeem and Big Boss Man against the Mega Powers. Savage got tossed through the ropes and landed on Elizabeth. Hogan carried her back to get help and Savage was left all alone. They argue in the back with Savage cutting the best promo of his life as all of the anger he had stored up inside him erupts and he attacks Hogan to set up this showdown for the gold. Liz says she’s going to try to remain neutral in the main event.

The Women’s Champion sings America the Beautiful and does an ok job at it. Kind of a bland voice though.

Haku vs. Hercules

This match is part of a very unnoticed storyline where Hercules was part of the Heenan Family but was then “sold” to Ted DiBiase. This upset him and Hercules said he was a free man. He went on a small war with Heenan’s stable and I guess you’d call this the climax of that. The feud was nothing at all and it went nowhere as Hercules just wasn’t over at all. This is a power vs. power match that pleasantly surprised me as it has a fair amount of solid wrestling on it and not just all power.

The powder blue tights just don’t do it for a guy with the name of Hercules. Donald Trump is in the front row again which makes sense as he owns the place. Haku is really getting outworked here. Hercules’ offense is a lot more diverse as opposed to chops and bearhugs with a kick thrown in here and there. That’s kind of the storyline of this whole match too and you can see that in the ending.

Haku is the King of Wrestling here and for some reason that isn’t on the line in this match. It was an odd kind of semi-title where you would be proclaimed king and get to wear a crown and have a bunch of muscle jobbers bring you out on a throne but other than that it never really went anywhere. Savage got it and held it for like a year or so and it more or less died after that.

This is about as bland as you can get but it’s surprisingly decent. Hercules worked better as a face because here he has something to fight for in his own pride. Back when he was a heel he had nothing special about him and was just a generic henchman. He’s more interesting and well rounded here though which is what a turn is supposed to accomplish.

Hercules lands a belly to back suplex into a bridge but shoots his shoulder up to avoid the double pin, which was exactly the same thing he lost to the year before. That’s a very subtle touch to his character that a lot of people don’t realize. It shows that he’s capable of learning something new and has adapted a new style over the last year.

Rating: C-. There’s a story here and there’s some decent action, but at the end of it all it’s just not that great. Good and not boring, but not great. This wasn’t much at all from a ring work standpoint but it was surprisingly good. I’m not sure why I like this match but I kind of always have and while it’s certainly an odd choice to open Wrestlemania with, it’s not bad.

In the back we see a team called the Rockers. This Marty Jannetty guy is a freaking STUD. I could see this guy winning something like the IC title, maybe some tag titles or something like that. His partner just does nothing for me though as he’s very bland.

Twin Towers vs. The Rockers

Twin Towers are Big Bossman and Akeem, aka the One Man Gang in case you weren’t sure. Rockers had been around for a few months at this point but as they would wind up doing for their whole run they were still trying to find themselves as a team.

This is about as simple of a story as you can get: power vs. speed and it works fairly well here. Akeem seriously may be the greatest gimmick of all time. For those of you that don’t know, One Man Gang and his manager Slick found out that he was of African descent, despite being the palest Caucasian you’ll ever find.

He starts embracing his African roots and doing these weird dances and wearing weird outfits. To see him doing this is just hilarious and something that you should check out for a good laugh and I’d like to give whoever thought it up a ham sandwich.

Cool spot where Bossman has Jannetty up in a bear hug position and Akeem just slams into him. Simple yet effective. Jannetty gets his head handed to him the majority of the match. Slick screaming about how a black referee would count faster and wouldn’t cheat is just such a great touch when his wrestlers are whiter than snow.

Becca shouldn’t watch this match as Akeem just about kills Shawn with one of the best clotheslines I’ve ever seen. Bossman kills him even worse with a spinning powerbomb and then a splash by Akeem and Shawn is finally given a break as the pin goes down.

Rating: C. This was a solid performance by the Rockers but they really didn’t stand much of a chance. Some good spots make this quite passable though. What’s with the back to back generic matches to start off the biggest show of the year though? Is this really the best they could find?

Ted DiBiase is rich and likes to talk about it. He’s also got a new belt that he likes showing off.

Ted DiBiase vs. Brutus Beefcake

Hearing DiBiase having different homes for each season is just a perfect touch to the gimmick that makes him so much more fun to hate. Still say he’s the best heel of all time. Brutus finally has his awesome music here. Jesse describes Brutus’ pants perfectly: it looks like a grenade went off in his pockets. Ted talks to Trump before we start.

What exactly did Brutus expect to do with those huge hedge clippers? This is a balance of the sleepers. According to Gorilla this is one of the reasons the fans are here for. Something tells me that’s not the case. DiBiase cheats almost immediately as the heel he is. What a fall he’s taken in a year. From the main event to this. Wow.

We get a pretty nice back and forth sequence to start as both guys are moving pretty well out there. Jesse drops some names as they slug it out. It’s turned into a standard kick and punch match which isn’t interesting or anything but it fills in time pretty well I suppose.

DiBiase gets a nice shot off the middle rope but doesn’t cover or anything. Why do that anyway? No one gets pins off moves like those anyway. Brutus gets a small package for two. Double clothesline and Ted gets up first. There’s the Million Dollar Dream but Beefcake gets the rope. More kicking and punching sets up Beefcake’s sleeper. Virgil gets Beefcake on the floor and DiBiase follows, leading to a double countout. Gorilla kind of scoffs at the ending.

Rating: D+. They were just kind of there. Pretty boring too. Nothing interesting here at all. I’ve always loved the falling punch DiBiase used. Just something sweet about it. This is power versus technician but it just doesn’t come off that way. Beefcake was supposed to be a power guy I think but he wasn’t that good at it. It’s also not a power move to use a sleeper. Yeah this match was pretty weak.

There used to be a thing called the Bagels and Biceps Brunch. What the point of this was, I’m not sure but it apparently was a tradition. The Bushwackers, one of which licked my face at a house show, are about to face the Rougeaus.

Bushwackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers

The Rougeau’s music of We’re All American Boys is nothing short of amazing. Just an awesome song and one of Jimmy Hart’s great touches. The Bushwackers are just out there even by today’s standards. How these guys lasted nearly 6 years in a completely different gimmick than they started with is beyond me.

The Battering Ram is one of the dumbest yet most awesome moves I’ve ever seen. Now this is a match that I remember only one thing about. During a scoop slam, Luke of the Bushwackers clearly rubs Ray Rougeau crotch. It’s not on accident either. He puts his hand there and rubs up and down. Just a disturbing sight.

Other than that this is nothing but a comedy match. The 80s were so awesome in the area of tag wrestling that they even managed to have jobber tag teams on a regular basis. There’s nothing going on here with the Bushwackers running around for a minute, the Rougeaus controlling for two minutes and the finish. To end this in a hurry, Bushwackers win with their rib breaker move.

Rating: D-. The crotch rub never fails to surprise me. Just not something I want to think about. The match completely sucked though and just never went anywhere at all. What is with all these fillers? DiBiase vs. Beefcake is by far the biggest matchup so far and even it is nothing special and could have been on any house show that year. Weak show so far and a weak match here.

Sean Mooney, one of my all time favorite broadcasters gets licked by a Bushwacker while talking to some fans in a pointless segment.

Mr. Perfect vs. The Blue Blazer

Yes that’s Owen Hart under the mask. This is another match that is more or less just there for the sake of being there but it should be pretty good. Perfect is still undefeated here. Jesse thinks this is going to be tremendous. Hennig gets a nice hiptoss to start.

He slaps the Blazer and doesn’t get drilled as a result for some reason. Ah there’s the slap and Owen speeds things up a bit. And then we slow them right back down. Baseball slide hits Perfect. Owen was WAY ahead of his time here as he could move like no one else could and was busting out Japanese and European stuff which was unheard of in America at this time.

Blazer is dominating here as Perfect has no idea what to do with him. BIG top rope splash eats knees though. That looked awesome as he got way up in the air and nailed the knees perfectly. Jesse has a surprise for Gorilla.

Powerslam by Blazer gets two and a belly to belly gets two as well. Jesse thinks Perfect has Mania jitters. Crucifix gets two for Blazer. And then a big shot gets Perfect the advantage. Perfectplex gets the easy pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid little match here with both guys moving very well. It was speed/flying vs. technical style out there and it worked very well. It helps having two guys that can work a variety of styles. Perfect hit two moves the whole match which hurts this though. Still solid stuff and Owen looked awesome in this.

Yet again, Jesse is introduced to the crowd as a “major Hollywood star” (he had done some supporting roles in some fairly big movies like Predator). There was apparently a 5K run with Mr. Fuji, in tuxedo and bowler hat, running in a decent time. He’s in the handicap tag title match later on if you’re wondering what the heck this is for. He finishes without even breathing hard and Lord Alfred Hayes suspects shenanigans.

Now for something just completely out of place, Run DMC performs the Wrestlemania Rap. This thing goes on and on and on.

Tag Titles: Mr. Fuji and Powers of Pain vs. Demolition

Storyline on this: Demolition was by far and away the most dominant tag team the late 80s had ever seen. They held the titles for about a year and a half which is still the longest amount of time ever. They were brought in as heels around Wrestlemania 3 and won the belts at Wrestlemania 4. Sometime between 3 and 4, they got Mr. Fuji as a manager.

Over the course of the summer, the fans realized how truly awesmoe Demolition was and they began to cheer them. Around the same time, the Powers of Pain, comprised of the Warlord and the Barbarian debuted as faces. The problem was more people liked Demolition than the PoP. So what was the solution you ask? The answer was the incredibly difficult and even rarer double turn.

At the 1988 Survivor Series, the teams had been feuding over the tag belts and were captains of their respective Survivor Series teams. Late in the match, Fuji pulled the top rope down and Smash fell over the ropes and landed on the floor. Ax got in Fuji’s face about it and Fuji answered with I’m The Boss! Demolition beat up Fuji and were counted out. The Powers of Pain helped him up and soon thereafter he was their manager.

So all of that leads us here to the showdown with Fuji and his team in a 3-2 match with Demolition for the tag titles. Fuji does what Heenan did last year with a shot here and a shot there, but at least with Fuji he had a very successful tagging career, including a reign that at the time was the longest in the history of the title. This match is what you would expect from it.

The formula is exactly what you would expect in a match like this. Demolition beats down the Powers, they beat them back, Fuji comes in and beats them up a bit, which is to say he kicks them twice, and then he runs away. This isn’t anything we haven’t seen a thousand times before and it’s not particularly entertaining. Naturally it gets about 9 minutes.

Demolition holds their own but eventually gets beaten up by all three, until Fuji makes a mistake. He misses an elbow from the top rope which is impressive in its own right, then eventually throws salt that was his trademark but misses. He’s then hit with the Demolition Decapitation, which might be the worst double team move of all time, and pinned.

Rating: C-. I liked this match but then again I like Demolition. Fuji actually knew how to wrestle and was only in his early 50s at the time so he still could go in the ring to an extent. Demolition is a simple team at heart: beat the tar out of their opponents. That’s hard to mess up and they did it as well as any team ever did. The lack of drama hurts it a good deal though and it shows.

Tony Schiavone tries to talk to Macho Man but gets thrown out.

Ronny Garvin vs. Dino Bravo

Umm, ok? What the point to this match is I have no idea, but after the introductions, Jimmy Snuka is introduced to the crowd for some reason. Literally, they announce Bravo and Garvin, and then the Fink says there is a special guest tonight. Snuka comes out in full apparel and to his music and gets in the ring and poses. He has absolutely nothing to do with this match and isn’t seen again all night.

Anyway onto the match. I have never liked Ronny Garvin. The man just absolutely bores me to tears in the ring. How he became the NWA Champion and even defended it at Starrcade 87 is beyond me. Bravo was ok in the ring but just never really did it for me either. As I say that, Garvin puts on a sleeper which is perfect because I’m falling asleep watching this.

In a strange ending (Thank God) Garvin is up in the corner punching Bravo but gets caught with an atomic drop and is side suplexed to pin him. Garvin gets up and hits Bravo and then uses what has to be the stupidest finisher of all time on Bravo’s manager, the Garvin Stomp. Randy Orton I believe has used this recently. He starts at the arm and goes around the body stomping the opponent. Just looks bad.

Rating: F. I was bored to tears and don’t like either one. This is a biased rating and I could care less. This is a Ronnie Garvin match and therefore it sucks.

Strike Force vs. The Brainbusters

Strike Force (a breath of fresh air after that awful match that just aired) is teaming together for the first time in a long time. Martel was injured by Demolition and was gone for almost a year. In the time off, Santana wrestled in singles matches. Upon Martel’s return, he asked Tito to reform Strike Force which he eventually did. This is their first match back against Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard. After this match, the Busters would go on to feud with Demolition over the tag belts.

It sounds wrong to hear Gorilla talking about a Horsemen match and calling them a couple of really tough dudes. Jesse and Gorilla bickering is always funny. it says a lot when Martel is by far the worst technician in a match. Big brawl to start and surprisingly Strike Force wins it.

Martel gets a very nice counter from a body scissors into the Boston Crab. That was impressive. Everything breaks down and Strike Force gets a pair of Figure Fours which has to be at least a mini-rib on the Horsemen.

And now we get the meat of the match as Tito accidentally drills Martel with his flying forearm and down he goes onto the floor. After about a minute Martel gets back up but he’s all shaken up. The Busters work the referee and the tag rules like the masters that they are.

Santana keeps trying to come back and finally does by slamming Arn off the top. Yeah that has to be a rib. Tito finally gets away and goes for the tag but Martel won’t tag and then leaves, heading to the dressing room.

Arn yells at Santana WHERE’S YOUR PARTNER to just be a jerk. The ramp/aisle is really long here so it takes Martel like two minutes to get back. Tito fights back as well as he can but he’s outnumbered and after a few minutes the spike piledriver ends it.

Rating: B-. Half tag and half handicap so it’s unique if nothing else. I always liked both teams and I like what I see here. The post match promo is solid too so it gets a good grade. Very interesting here as this obviously causes the split between the two. They would feud on and off for nearly two years after this with neither one really winning the feud. What’s forgotten in this is the Brainbusters. They are their usually great selves and but on a solid match.

Martel blames Tito and says it was Tito’s idea to reform the team and all that jazz. This is his heel turn if you didn’t get that. He wouldn’t be a face again for like 8 years until he was in WCW.

Piper’s Pit

This gets one of the biggest pops of the nights. One of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a long time from the Fink: I am pleased to introduce to you a man who needs no introduction. We get a really long intro for Piper and out comes the man that creeped me out more than anyone else as a kid: Brother Love.

Seriously, the guy had a red face. That’s just incredibly scary looking to a two year old. Throw in his voice and it’s just scary. His character was based on high energy Christian televangelists such as Jimmy Swaggert. You all might know him better as Bruce Pritchard who was a creative team member until a few months ago.

Love then says his guest on the Brother Love show is Rodney Piper. He then imitates Piper in something that is either dead on or awful and I can’t tell which. He asks questions as Love and takes his glasses off and changes chairs to be Piper. Then out comes the guest, Morton Downey Jr.

This show aired nearly 20 years ago and until I looked him up just seconds ago, I had no freaking clue who this guy was and I’ve seen this PPV at least 30 times. Turns out he was a talk show host that was the inspiration for Springer, Maury etc. His show was viewed as amazingly Right Wing based and he would often berate anyone that disagreed with him. He was later replaced by Rush Limbaugh.

Anyway, Downey is smoking a cigarette which Gorilla refers to as weed. This made my jaw drop. Gorilla said he was puffing on weed. Gorilla Monsoon isn’t supposed to talk about weed blast it! Downey trash talks with Brother Love until they’re interrupted by the Fink who says Piper really is here. Out comes Piper for his first WWF appearance in 2 years.

Piper talks down to Love because of the kilt that Love is wearing. He asks him questions but keeps pulling the mic away saying he doesn’t want to know that badly. I’d forgotten how funny Piper was in his prime. He turns his attention to Downey who is still smoking and keeps blowing smoke into Piper’s face which Piper doesn’t approve of. Downey keeps using the standard insults.

My favorite line: Piper mentions that Downey used to have warts all over his face. Piper: What did you with the warts? Downey: I gave them to a homeless warthog. Piper: (without missing a beat) I didn’t know your girlfriend was homeless. Downey calls Piper is a transvestite before blowing more smoke in his face.

Piper asks for a cig for himself. Downey turns to light it and for no reason at all, Piper has a fire extinguisher under his chair. In probably his second most famous bit after the coconut, Piper sprays him down and leaves.

About as appropriately as possible, Downey would die of lung cancer in 2001.

BREAKING NEWS-Hulk Hogan is making a movie! It’s called No Holds Barred. That movie truly was nine kinds of awesome.

Sean Mooney is talking to Donald Trump. Apparently WM 4 and 5 have been successes.

Jesse is TICKED OFF. Hogan is invading his territory because after he loses to Macho he needs a job. Jesse says he can drive his limo and storms off. Gorilla plugs the movie again and recaps the show so far. We get a video recapping the Mega Powers rise to glory and their split.

Hogan says he can’t believe how this all came about in just a year. He goes into another of his insane promos about everyone being swallowed up by the Earth when the Trump Towers fall apart. Makes little if any sense. Then he talks about winning the title.

Andre the Giant vs. Jake Roberts

Big John Studd is the referee here for no apparent reason. He comes out to what would become Jim Duggan’s music oddly enough. No real reason is given as to why he’s the referee here. Andre is back with Heenan. The point of this match is Andre is terrified of snakes.

This resulted in a scene on television where Andre had a “heart attack” when Jake put the snake on him, yet he’s wrestling again just a few months later. Remarkable. Around this time, Jake was insanely popular, arguably the third biggest face in the company after only Hogan and Warrior.

Somehow before the match starts one of the turnbuckle pads is off and Roberts gets slammed into it. Gorilla says that Jake is like David against Goliath and Jesse says David had to use a foreign object to beat him which makes me want to write the Bible from a wrestling perspective one day. In a funny bit Andre chokes Jake in the corner and Studd goes to count Andre and you literally can’t see Jake other than his feet. Jake stood 6’5.

It’s your standard Andree match from this era. He just could not move to save his life at this point and was a complete shell of his former self. They do the tied up in the ropes spot and Andre is reeling. More pain and punishment goes in until Heenan gets the arm loose and here comes your unfriendly and not likely from your neighborhood Giant.

Something happens in this match that I’ve never been sure of. Andre is throwing shoulders to Jake’s ribs in the corner and falls backwards and down to one knee. He doesn’t hit his head on anything that I can see. Always thought that was just odd. Andre and Studd finally fight while DiBiase of all people runs out and steals the bag with the snake in it. Roberts catches him and throws the snake in the ring to get rid of Andre. Jake wins via DQ.

Rating: D. This is just a strange combination. Andre just didn’t mesh well with most because he was too big. Roberts tried his best but it didn’t go that well. Studd served no real purpose here at all either. They tried but it didn’t work that well.

Sherri will get the title back apparently and doesn’t like Liz at all.

Rhythm and Blues vs. The Hart Foundation

The newly face Harts face off with their old manager’s new team of Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine. To me this was just before Bret’s prime. He’s so smooth in the ring that I’m gaining a new respect for him. The announcers refer to Pat Patterson as a relic. That’s just amusing.

This is the most basic of basic tag matches I can remember in a long time. I mean NOTHING happens here. The faces start in control, the heels take over and dominate for a bit, then we get a hot tag and the finish begins.

Honky hits the Shake Rattle and Roll on Bret but he tags in Hammer for the figure four which clearly is a mistake. Back and forth and Jimmy tosses in the Megaphone which is intercepted. After a solid shot to Honky’s shoulder Neidhart pins him.

Rating: D+. Bret makes this one pretty good for a glorified squash. This went nowhere at all and it’s MORE FILLER. We’ve had ONE match break ten minutes tonight: the Beefcake match got up to 10:01. That’s saying a lot. Just another match that went absolutely nowhere at all.

We get a recap of the Warrior/Rude feud. It involves a posedown and a lot of talking.

Intercontinental Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

The idea of this is the two competed for who had the best body. They had a pose off at the Royal Rumble and Rude attacked the Warrior with a steel exercise bar. Not much of a story but this was the second biggest match on the card.

For some reason that God alone knows, these two had freaks chemistry together. It’s rare to ever see a bad match between them. I have no idea why this is the case but that’s how it always was with them. To have one of the worst workers ever and another who’s character was great but in the ring wasn’t great but wasn’t bad either be able to put on such solid matches really is a strange thing.

Warrior beats the tar out of Rude early on. This is a solid beating and Rude sells it like there’s no tomorrow. Warrior works the back with some very powerful whip ins and a BIG bearhug. It looks like it’s going to be a quick little match but a piledriver slows Warrior down and it’s Rude in control.

Rude’s back is injured but he stays in the game as long as he can. Rude beats on him for nearly four or five minutes as he becomes one of the only people to actually beat down the Warrior and have success at it.

And so much for that as Warrior makes his comeback but as he’s trying to suplex Rude back in Heenan hooks his leg and holds it for the pin and the huge upset. Heenan gets beaten up by Warrior afterwards and because Warrior was so bad in the ring he legitimately hurt Bobby in this.

Rating: B. While not the best workers and a weak story, they again manage to put on a good match. I didn’t give it the description it deserves but that’s really all there was to it. Very well done though. The freaky chemistry these two had continue and I have never gotten it at all.

Jim Duggan vs. Bad News Brown

This is the epitome of a filler. Nothing of note happens here at all as it’s a brawl that the announcers don’t care about at all. It’s about 3 minutes long and ends in a chair vs. 2×4 duel that Duggan wins.

Rating: F. No one cared and they knew it.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

Backstory: Rooster, who has what to me is the worst gimmick of all time, (he literally acted like a rooster, complete with going cock-a-doodle-doo and strutting like one. He passed up the Mr. Perfect gimmick and got this instead) used to work for Heenan but Heenan said he wasn’t that good. This is the Rooster trying to get revenge.

Heenan comes out with the Brooklyn Brawler. This match literally doesn’t last a minute. Heenan jumps the Rooster and whips him into the corner. Rooster gets out of the way and Heenan hits the post and is covered for the pin. Brawler comes in and beats up Rooster who fights back and wins. Wow.

Rating: N/A. This was a total waste of time. But hey, the Brooklyn Brawler got PPV time!

We recap the WWF Title match. Hogan helped Savage win it a year ago and then more or less stole the spotlight for the next year. Liz got involved and Savage thought she was sleeping with Hogan. He went off on him on February 3 (I was turning 1) and turned heel, setting this up.

Hogan says Savage went crazy. That’s just amusing. This is the promo where Hogan absolutely loses his mind and goes on a rant about the building being swallowed up by the Earth or something and Donald Trump being worried about falling into the ocean.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Savage

They were trying to make this the second coming of Hogan/Andre but there was far less mystery of who was going to win. Liz is at ringside as an independent observer and she actually does just that: nothing. This match has the big match feel to it but looking back it was obvious which way it was going. Savage comes out first if that tells you anything.

Liz gets her own entrance and Jesse says she’ll leave with whoever wins. Gorilla says that sounds smart to him. To say this match is huge is a dramatic understatement. Jesse: this is what the term main event is used for. This is the main event. He’s absolutely right too as this drew INSANE money as they had built up the mega match between these two forever.

Hogan shoves Savage with ease and there he goes. The announcers argue about managers which is kind of funny. Savage keeps running in fear from Hogan and it’s basic stuff so far. He throws Liz in front of a Hogan punch but Hulk stops in time.

There’s Hogan’s wrestling quota for the year as he uses a four move combination to break down Savage and get a front facelock. Savage overpowers him in a surprise by backdropping him. Savage takes over a bit by getting a top rope double axe in. The champion works the arm for some reason. LONG sequence with the arm and then a headlock as we fill in time.

Hogan gets an atomic drop to counter but misses an elbow drop. Hogan’s eye was cut earlier on and it gets rammed into the buckle to open it up even worse. Savage slaps him and here comes Hulk. He slams Savage to the floor and Liz helps him up. They fight on the floor and Hogan gets rammed into the post.

Now Liz helps Hogan up. I guess she wants a double team later on. Hebner, the cock blocker that he is, throws Liz out. Savage hits the double axe off the top to send Hogan’s throat into the railing. Steamboat was out for three months because of that. It doesn’t even get two on Hogan. Savage slams him and there’s the big elbow. Hogan shoves him off, three punches, big boot, big leg, you know the drill I think. Lots of posing ends the show.

Rating: C+. Well it’s not bad, but the problem here is that it is completely underwhelming. This was supposed to be the biggest match ever and it’s just pretty standard fort he most part. Hogan wins the title again and shrugs off Savage’s best move. Not a fan of that at all but it’s the 80s so what are you going to do?

Overall Rating: D+. This is the first of the second era of Wrestlemanias that follows the now traditional Wrestlemania formula. There’s some ok stuff on here and it probably has the oddestok card yet. Pretty much every big star is here, the titles have good matches, the midcard matches are bad, and you have the WM main event.

This show also has the first instance of setting the stage for the future. 1989 was the first year of the big four PPVs so there were other feuds that would be needing to be closed at big shows. Feuds like Hogan and Perfect which sparked Hogan and Warrior, Roberts against DiBiase, and the continuation of Warrior and Rude which led to Warrior against the Heenan Family all spawned from this.

You could arguably call this the first standard Wrestlemania, and I would just barely give it that name over WM 3. Overall this is pretty weak show and the problem with it is mainly the match lengths. TWO matches broke ten minutes and one went past 10:01. I used to really like this one but it doesn’t hold up at all. Pretty bad show but it’s watchable I suppose. That’s about it.

 

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