WWE Vault Grab Bag V: I Picked Well

WWE Vault Grab Bag V
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, David Crockett, Jim Ross

It’s time to dip back into the randomness that is the WWE Vault (and various other WWE Youtube channels) as there is a lot of stuff I’d like to see. Today we’re going to look at some more random entries, which could be a mixture of matches and/or segments. Either way, they should be from all over the place so let’s get to it.

From a WWE house show in Jonesboro, Arkansas, August 26, 2017.

John Cena vs. Samoa Joe

From what I can find, this is only one of two matches they ever had in WWE, with the other one coming the previous night. Joe powers him down to start and Cena starts bouncing a lot. A headlock slows Cena down again before running the ropes, with Cena hitting a shoulder. Cena’s headlock doesn’t work very well as Joe backs him into the corner for the quick shot to the face.

Joe sends him outside and then kicks him down back inside, meaning we get what looks like a Hulk Hogan pose of all things. A quick AA attempt is blocked and Joe’s enziguri gets two, meaning it’s time to get frustrated. Joe puts him down again for two more and knocks Cena into the corner, leaving Joe to walk around for a bit. Cena avoids a charge in the corner, only to get elbowed in the face.

Joe misses the backsplash though and Cena starts the usual comeback. The AA is countered with a grab of the rope and the referee gets knocked outside. Cena gets the STF for the unseen tap and of course lets go, allowing Joe to get in a low blow. Joe grabs a chair but Cena ducks and hits the AA for the clean pin at 10:00.

Rating: C+. This was more of a “whoa that match happened” and that’s not a bad way to go. It’s one of the appeals of a house show as a few fans got to see the match, even if it was rather basic. That’s all it needed to be and while I could have gone with a far bigger stage, I’ll take getting to see them have a decent match.

From a WWF house show in Long Island, New York, October 24, 1997.

Tag Team Titles: D-Generation X vs. Legion Of Doom

LOD is defending and Michaels tells a fan to suck it as Animal shoves HHH into the corner to start. Animal powers both of them down at the same time as Chyna is not pleased on the floor. We settle back down to Hawk slamming Michaels, who bails outside, with HHH and Chyna massaging the back of his tights. Back in and Michaels bails straight to the floor, only to get gorilla pressed by in by Animal, where Hawk clotheslines him right back to the floor for a big pratfall.

We settle down a bit with Animal grabbing a headlock and grinding Michaels down again as it’s all LOD thus far. The bearhug goes on but Michaels gets out and hands it off to HHH, who gets bearhugged as well. That’s broken up a bit faster and it’s a high/low to take over on Animal. HHH knocks Animal into the corner and Michaels comes back in with a sleeper. A belly to back suplex puts Michaels down but he makes the tag at the same time, allowing HHH to come in for a sleeper of his own.

It’s already back to Michaels for a front facelock but he accidentally ax handles a cheating HHH. The tag brings Hawk back in and the fans certainly seem to approve. Everything breaks down and Michaels gets in a belt shot to Hawk for the pin and the titles at 13:01. And hang on as here’s another referee to say what happened so no title change, as it’s a DQ instead. Actually the brawl keeps going and NOW it’s a DQ. Ok then.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match and that’s all I can ask for with a match like this one. What mattered the most here was that they had two teams who were both working hard and it felt like a big match. You don’t get that kind of thing very often and it was better than I was expecting. Michaels and HHH were a good team in their own right and the LOD had so much experience that they could do this kind of match so easily. I’d call this a nice surprise and it actually lived up to some of its hype.

Post match Chyna gets in and jumps Hawk, leaving DX to have to break up a Doomsday Device. Michaels chairs Animal but Hawk takes it away and sends Michaels running to wrap it up. Somehow DX wins on a DQ, presumably because the LOD beat them up too much. You know, instead of the belt shot which was called.

From a WWE house show in Leeds, England, November 8, 2021.

Walter vs. Cesaro

That would of course be Gunther before the name change. Cesaro backs him up against the ropes to start and gets shoved away. Walter misses the big chop and it’s off to a test of strength, with Walter actually getting the better of things. Cesaro’s headlock takeover puts Walter down for a change and grinds away for a little while. Back up and they trade the shoulders, with Cesaro’s jumping version working a bit better.

A shot to the throat puts Cesaro down though and we lower the pace. The double arm crank goes on, with Walter knocking him down to cut off an escape bid. The chinlock has Cesaro in more trouble and this one stays on for a good while. Cesaro fights up and knocks Walter down, so naturally the fans want the Swing. That’s not happening so they strike it out instead until Walter hits the dropkick.

The powerbomb gets two and it’s off to the sleeper to put Cesaro down. That’s broken up in a hurry though and Cesar scores with Swiss Death. Now the Swing goes on and Cesaro follows with the Sharpshooter, sending Walter over to the rope. The springboard uppercut is blocked though and Walter kicks him in the face. A whip into the post sets up a German suplex into the top rope splash to give Walter the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. This started slowly and the chinlock in the middle hurt it a bit, but this wound up being quite the hard fought match. That’s what the match needed to be as you kind of know what you’re getting when you have Cesaro vs. Walter. Cesaro wasn’t about to go over the up and coming monster, but they had a good fight here and that’s what it was supposed to be.

From a WWE house show in Dublin, Ireland, June 18, 2005.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Kurt Angle

Cena is defending and a certain Steve Austin is guest referee. This is also a rare outdoor match and it’s a cool visual with various buildings and trees in the background. JBL yells about being a former champion before the match and shadow boxes/kicks while Angle makes his entrance. We’re clipped to Angle elbowing Cena as JBL is down on the floor. A backdrop sends Angle outside so JBL is in to boot Cena in the face.

We’re clipped a few times to Cena fighting out of JBL’s sleeper but a big boot drops him again. We’re clipped again to Cena superplexing JBL and making the comeback. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU for two on Angle. We’re clipped again to JBL countering the ankle lock and sending Angle outside. Cena loads up the finishing sequence on JBL but Angle is back in with an accidental belt shot to Austin.

Angle is kicked outside and the Clothesline From JBL drops Cena, with another referee running in to count two. Cena kicks a chair into JBL’s face so Angle grabs the chair, only to get cut off with a Stunner. Austin pokes JBL’s eye into the AA to retain the title at about 5:00 shown. I’m not going to rate it due to the cuts but it felt like a house show match with Austin there to spice it up a bit.

Post match Austin and Cena celebrate.

From WCW Saturday Night, May 14, 1994.

WCW World Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Ric Flair

For the vacant title after they went to a draw at Spring Stampede. They go to the mat to start and Steamboat grabs an armbar, with Flair having to escape. Steamboat reverses a headlock into a hammerlock but Flair is back with the half crab. That’s broken up as well and Steamboat grabs a gorilla press to send Flair to the apron, where a suplex brings him back inside.

Cue Colonel Robert Parker with a briefcase full of money as Flair is sent outside again. Back in and Steamboat drops him with a shoulder but runs into a right hand to the ribs. Flair knocks him into the corner and slowly hammers away as we take a break. We come back with Flair sending him outside and then back inside for some near falls. Steamboat can’t armdrag his way out of an armbar but he can chop the skin off of Flair’s chest.

An atomic drop out of the corner gets Flair out of trouble and he grabs a chinlock. Yes he puts his feet on the ropes and no that shouldn’t be a surprise whatsoever. Back up and they chop it out again with Steamboat getting the better of things, allowing Flair to be rocked even more than usual. Steamboat’s dropkick misses though, as does Flair’s big elbow drop. Flair is back with a poke to the eye and Steamboat needs a breather on the floor. Back in and a sunset flip gives Steamboat two but he charges into a boot in the corner.

As usual Flair goes up top and as usual he gets caught and superplexed for two. Flair plants him down for a breather though and we slow the pace a bit. A poke to the eye lets Flair grab a sleeper, with Flair even on Steamboat’s back. That’s finally broken up and Steamboat chops away again as we take another break.

We come back again with Steamboat winning another chop off (it works, so keep going back to it) but getting his dive punched out of the air. Back in and Flair misses a knee drop, allowing Steamboat to wrap the knee around the post. The Figure Four has Flair in trouble, with Heenan screaming how to break out. Flair finally makes the rope (now what Heenan said to do but it did work) so Steamboat is right back on the leg. Steamboat chops him so much that Flair falls down for two and we take a third break.

We come back again with Steamboat missing something off the top and they’re both down again. Steamboat comes up favoring his own knee, allowing Flair to grab a delayed vertical suplex. His own leg is hurt as well though and it’s another double down. Flair is up and on Steamboat’s leg, with the Figure Four going on. The ropes makes it even worse, but the referee finally catches Flair to break it up. Steamboat knocks him back down but Flair is still up first, only to get caught with a chop. A gorilla press brings him crashing down but they’re back up with another collision.

Steamboat’s sleeper is countered into a belly to back suplex so he goes up again, with Steamboat top rope superplexing him for a crash. A big chop off the top gives Steamboat two and he tries the high crossbody but hits both Flair and the referee. Back up and they trade rollups for two each as they’re somehow still moving at a high speed about 45 minutes into the match. Steamboat tries a leapfrog but seems to get headbutted low, giving Flair the pin and the title at 47:06. Parker never got involved at all.

Rating: A-. There’s a reason these two wrestled each other so many times for the better part of twenty years. Sweet goodness this was amazing stuff with both guys staying crisp throughout and a sense that the match really could have ended multiple times. It’s just high level, technically incredible wrestling between two guys who could do this stuff in their sleep. It says a lot when this is pretty firmly on the low end of their series, as it’s an instant classic with only the kind of sudden ending holding it back. Definitely check this out, plus pretty much anything else they’ve done, ever.

From a WWF house show in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada, January 16, 1989.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. Bad News Brown

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending in a Harlem Street Fight and they’re both in street clothes. Brown jumps him on the way in and they’re quickly outside with Savage striking away. A headbutt cuts Savage off though and a chair is thrown inside so Brown can use it to choke. Brown takes him back outside but punches the post, allowing Savage to ax handle him back inside.

Savage takes off his weightlifting belt and blasts Brown in the ribs. Brown is back up with another chair shot and sends Savage crashing over the barricade. A table (remember, this is 1989) is set up in the corner but Savage sends Brown into said table. There’s no referee as Brown hits the Ghetto Blaster for no count. A slam gets the same result so brown yells at the referee, allowing Savage to grab a backslide to retain (with the count from a second referee) at 6:49.

Rating: B. This didn’t last long and no it wasn’t as smooth as the kinds of street fights etc. that you would see in the future, but these guys beat the fire out of each other and it felt like a fight. The big thing here was that Brown basically beat him up and then got caught in the end. There was absolutely something to Brown, who was WAY ahead of his time and could have been incredible about ten years later. Still though, good stuff here, with Savage being more than capable of doing this kind of thing.

Post match Brown kicks Savage outside and then ties the original referee up in the Tree Of Woe. Brown easily takes Savage down into the corner but Savage is back up with a running ax handle. Some other wrestlers come in to break it up, or at least they do after a few misfires.

From WCW Worldwide, May 14, 1988.

NWA United States Tag Team Titles: Midnight Express vs. Fantastics

The Express, with Jim Cornette, is defending and after their usual pre-match hugs, we’re ready to go. Fulton and Lane start things off with Fulton knocking him down without much trouble. A running shoulder drops Lane again and it’s time for the champs to regroup. Lane wrestles him down and quickly gets a hammerlock, which works so well that he does it again.

We take a break and come back with Lane getting double hiptossed, allowing Rogers to work on an armbar. Rogers sends Lane outside so it’s off to Eaton for a change. Eaton gets in a standing chinlock but charges into a headscissors. Lane teases coming off the top for the save but Fulton shakes the ropes to bring him down and then chills on the top in a great spot.

We take another break and come back with Lane on the floor before coming back inside to headlock Fulton. That’s broken up and it’s back to Rogers to work on Lane’s leg. That earns him an enziguri though and Eaton comes back in, only to get taken down as well. Eaton is knocked to the floor and sent into the post as the Midnights are all discombobulated. Back in and Eaton takes over on Fulton, who comes off the middle rope with a kind of hip attack for two.

A hurricanrana takes Eaton down again and we take another break. We come back with Eaton getting in a shot to the throat, followed by Lane’s karate kick to the chest. The hammerlock goes on and the fans get behind Rogers, with Cornette losing his mind on the floor as only he can. Rogers gets sent into the wrong corner again, with Lane grabbing a Russian legsweep for two more.

We take another break and come back again with Eaton working on the arm. Rogers fights up and brings Fulton back in, only for the Midnights to pull him down into a seated abdominal stretch. Fulton’s throat is pulled across the top rope and an elbow gives Lane two. We take yet another break and come back with the bleeding Fulton getting neckbreakered for two. Eaton goes up top and drops the elbow for two more, followed by Lane kicking away in the corner.

The referee stops to check on Fulton’s cut but Rogers bets him not to stop the match. Fulton grabs Anderson’s leg to beg as well so Lane kicks Fulton in the face. Cornette is up on the apron to demand the match be stopped…and Rogers missile dropkicks Eaton into a rollup to give Fulton the pin and the titles at 36:48.

Rating: A. This has been called the greatest tag match to ever air on television in the United States and….yeah it’s kind of hard to argue. The Midnights were as good of an in-ring team as you could get at this point (if not ever) and the Fantastics could go move for move with them. There is nothing in here remotely bad or even less than good, as everyone is working hard and looks incredibly crisp. Throw in that Eaton hat a 100+ degree fever and was so sick that Cornette was asking him if they needed to cancel the match and it’s even better. Absolutely check this out as it’s a tag team wrestling clinic.

From a WWE house show in New York City, New York, December 26, 2017.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

Reigns is defending and I guess this works if it’s all you’ve got. They fight over a lockup to start as the fans are split, as usual in a big cena match. Reigns backs him up against the ropes so Cena grabs a headlock as they’re taking their time to start. That’s switched into a chinlock as Reigns can’t get very far early on. Back up and they go to a test of strength, with Reigns powering him out to the floor. Cena gets back in and is pretty easily knocked down, followed by a headbutt back outside.

We hit…I’m really not sure as it’s a one camera shoot and the fans are in the way but Cena takes over on the floor. Back in and the AA attempt is broken up but Cena grabs a tornado DDT. Reigns fights back with some big right hands and Cena’s comeback is cut off with the corner clotheslines. A big boot drops Cena again but he’s right back with the usual finishing sequence. The AA is countered into a sunset flip to give Reigns two, as does the Samoan drop.

The Superman Punch is pulled into the STF, only for Cena to let go to pull him back to the middle. Now the Superman Punch gets two, as does the AA, with the fans losing their minds on these near falls. Cena goes up but dives into a sitout powerbomb to leave them both down. Back up and they slug it out until Cena tries the AA again. That’s escaped though and the spear retains Reigns’ title at 17:59.

Rating: B. They had the big fight feel going here and that’s what it needed to be. This was the main event with the biggest star of the previous generation coming back to go after one of the biggest stars of today. That’s a main event level match and Cena knows how to bring it as well as anyone else. Good stuff here, especially for a house show with a red hot crowd.

From a WWE house show in Lafayette, Louisiana, March 10, 2024.

Kevin Owens/Becky Lynch vs. Grayson Waller/Nia Jax

Ok then. Waller’s running shoulder can’t get anywhere with Owens and a stomp on the foot doesn’t do much better. For some reason Waller shoves him in the face before handing it off to Jax. A shove actually puts Owens down and it’s off to Lynch for a high crossbody. Lynch kicks her way out of the corner and hits a Diamond Dust for two. The Disarm-Her is blocked so Lynch dropkicks her out to the floor instead.

Waller gets ping ponged between the two of them and a double suplex puts him down again. Jax is back in to run Lynch over though, setting up a reverse Stinkface in the ropes. The regular version makes it even worse as Lynch is gagging. Owens even gives her some water to wake her back up. Lynch fights out of the corner but Waller is right there to cut off the tag.

A Samoan drop gives Jax two and she can’t believe the kickout. Jax’s charge hits the post though and it’s off to Owens to beat up Waller. The backsplash gives Owens two but the Stunner is blocked. Jax forearms Owens into a rollup for two but misses a charge. Lynch Stunners Jax and Owens does the same to Waller, setting up the Manhandle Slam for the pin at 9:44.

Rating: C+. This was the definition of a fun house show match and that’s always nice to see. They didn’t do anything too complicated here and it was all about giving the fans something unique. Owens and Lynch worked well together and they beat up some annoying villains. What else do you want?

From Over The Limit 2012.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Daniel Bryan

Punk is defending. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere on the ropes. Instead Bryan grabs a headlock and hits a running shoulder, only to get hiptossed down. Punk takes him into the corner and starts in on the leg, including some cranking on the mat. Back up Bryan is able to flip over him out of the corner but the leg is kicked out again.

An Indian Deathlock is broken up as Bryan forearms him in the head, only for Punk to come back with a curb stomp. Bryan gets sent crashing out to the floor but drives Punk back first into the barricade. Punk is draped ribs first across the barricade and we hit the seated abdominal stretch back inside (with commentary reminding us that Kane recently injured Punk’s ribs).

Bryan switches into a surfboard with a dragon sleeper, followed by a heck of a running knee to the back. The Swan Dive gives Bryan two but Punk gets up for a double collision. Punk leg lariats him and hits the swinging neckbreaker as the comeback is on. A backdrop sends Bryan outside and the knee is banged up again. The suicide dive connects but Bryan is able to dropkick him out of the air.

One heck of a kick to the head gives Bryan two so he goes up, only to get crotched. A springboard clothesline gives Punk two and they go into a pinfall reversal sequence. Bryan can’t get the LeBell Lock but he can get kicked in the head for two. The top rope elbow connects but Punk’s knees are banged up again. Bryan gets the LeBell Lock in the middle of the ring, only for Punk to stack him up for the pin at 24:14. Punk taps a second after the pin but it is clearly after.

Rating: A-. This was every bit of the technical masterpiece that you would expect, with the hard strikes and some high flying thrown in. Punk winning clean is a bit of a surprise and thankfully they didn’t do anything screwy by having him tap at the same time. Naturally this didn’t headline the show because it wasn’t…let’s see here…John Cena vs. Johnny Ace. No wonder Punk had a chip on his shoulder.

From a WWF TV taping in Lowell, Massachusetts, August 18, 1993.

Mr. Hughes/Giant Gonzalez vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

This is the biggest “well ok” match I’ve seen in a bit and Harvey Wippleman is with the villains. Savage gets an interesting introduction with Mike McGuirk telling the fans to “give it all you got” for him. Hughes shoves the rather popular Perfect into the corner to start and then easily punches him down.

It’s off to Gonzalez, who looks even weirder than usual slowly hammering on Perfect. Hughes is back in and gives up the tag to Savage (who could pass for a Captain America knockoff), who is choked down by Gonzalez. A clothesline drops Savage again and it’s back to Hughes to miss a charge into the corner. Perfect comes back in to slug away, including a backdrop. Savage adds a top rope ax handle and Perfect gets a small package for the pin at 7:10.

Rating: C. The weird thing is this match actually made me feel bad for Gonzalez. There is only so much he could do against people literally a foot and a half shorter than him and that became quite the problem. Savage and Perfect couldn’t do much more than punch him, leaving Hughes as the only one they could do anything against. It’s not good, but it certainly had the spectacle.

From a WWE house show in Sydney, Australia, March 3, 2006.

Smackdown World Title: Mark Henry vs. Randy Orton vs. Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker

Angle is challenging. Orton bails to the floor to start, where some women are VERY excited to see him. We’re clipped to Orton back inside, with Undertaker hammering away. Orton bails outside so Angle rolls Undertaker up for two, earning himself a shot to the face. Henry comes back inside to choke Undertaker, as does Henry’s manager Daivari. Angle ankle locks Orton over the barricade, sending him into the crowd.

The other two join them, with Undertaker popping Orton with some right hands, sending him onto a woman who certainly does not seem to mind. Back in and Undertaker chinlocks Angle until Orton rather slowly rolls in for the save. Henry comes in to beat up Undertaker but Orton has to save him from the ankle lock. Undertaker is back up to stomp on Orton, who breaks up Old School.

A superplex puts Undertaker down for two and we’re clipped to Orton breaking up a superplex to Angle. The RKO is blocked but the Angle Slam hits Undertaker instead. We’re clipped again to Undertaker sitting up and chokeslamming Orton for two with Henry making a save. The Angle Slam finishes Orton to retain the title at about 9:00 shown. I won’t rate it due to the clips but what we saw looked good.

Post match Undertaker goes after Orton but has to beat up an invading JBL.

As has been the case with many shows over the years, we’ll wrap it up with a small package. This one features a collection of Mortis dark matches in WWE.

Velocity dark match, August 16, 2003.

Mortis vs. Austin Aries

Or “Austin Arius”, who is billed from St. Louis, where the match happens to be taking place. Aries strikes away to start but misses a high crossbody, allowing Mortis to strike away in the corner. A reverse Walls Of Jericho sends Aries over to the ropes and he gets some boots up in the corner. Aries is back with a discus forearm and a clothesline out to the floor. The slingshot dive misses but Aries is right back up for a missile dropkick. A sitout Dominator finishes Aries at 3:38.

Rating: C. I’m kind of surprised Aries didn’t get a closer look, as he was aggressive here and had some good looking high flying. You could tell he had the athleticism and balance that let him move around rather well. On the other and you have Mortis, who certainly looked cool and could have been fine enough without the Mortal Kombat stuff.

Velocity dark match, August 23, 2004.

Mortis vs. Truth Martini

Mortis punches him down to start but misses a springboard legdrop. Martini’s springboard spinning legdrop misses as well, allowing Mortis to hit a superkick. Back up and Mortis sends him into the corner for a middle rope Boston crab before sending Martini into the post. The crossarm choke goes on and a suplex drops Martini again. A tornado DDT gives Martini two of his own but he gets caught in an electric chair faceplant for the pin at 4:37.

Rating: C-. Ah now this was more like it, as there was nothing to Mortis here other than the look. Mortis does look cool, but his offense was “do a move, stand there, do another move, stand there again”, and so forth. That only works for so long and made a four and a half minute match feel a heck of a lot longer.

Velocity dark match, August 30, 2004.

Mortis/Funaki vs. Jack Bull/Mike Knox

Mortis strikes away at Bull to start so it’s off to Funaki, who gets beaten down by Knox. Bull comes back in to strike away. A reverse tornado DDT gets Funaki out of trouble and it’s back to Mortis. Everything breaks down and Mortis finishes Knox with a lifting Downward Spiral at 4:32.

Rating: C. Again, there’s just not much to say about these matches. Mortis is creepy looking but is teaming with the eternally likable Funaki against a pair of big bald guys. There was nothing to the match and Mortis certainly didn’t stand out, which is kind of the point of the whole thing.

Velocity dark match, October 25, 2003.

Mortis vs. John Walters

This is joined in progress for some reason with Walters flipping over him and hitting a clothesline for two. Walters’ neck crank doesn’t last long as Mortis is back up with a corner clothesline and a middle rope bulldog out of the corner. The superkick gets two and a sitout Alabama slam finishes Walters at 3:07.

Rating: C. Much like the previous matches, there’s something to the idea of this weird looking guy who does unique moves, but the whole Mortis deal was played so slowly. It was like Chris Kanyon was thinking “ok so I’m Mortis now” rather than getting into doing anything. This was another weak match and I’m not surprised WWE didn’t do anything with Mortis as a result.

Overall Rating: A-. The Mortis matches aren’t great, but they’re about the only things close to weak in this set. When you have the Flair vs. Steamboat match, that incredible Midnights/Fantastics match and the rather awesome Punk vs. Bryan match, almost anything else is going to be fine. I got lucky this time with a great set of matches and some actual rarities, which made for a rather fun (albeit crazy long) viewing. Check out those three matches for sure though, as they’re all worth your time.

 

 

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania X (2022 Redo): You Don’t Notice The Problems

Wrestlemania X
Date: March 20, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,065
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

If there is one thing that WWE does well, it is big milestone episodes where they are able to look back on what they have done before and praise themselves for it. The good thing is that this show has a lot going for it on its own, including the legendary ladder match and the two World Title matches, along with a second instant classic. Let’s get to it.

We open with a look back at the first Wrestlemania (egads it’s amazing how far they have come, even in nine years), with some awesome old school clips.

The opening sequence is just a look at the World Title participants without so much as a voiceover.

Little Richard and the Harlem Boys Choir sing America the Beautiful in a great performance.

Vince and Lawler explain the WWF Title situation, which is going to require some backstory. Lex Luger and Bret Hart were co-winners of the Royal Rumble, so both of them are getting title shots (since the triple threat wasn’t a big thing yet). Luger won a coin toss, meaning he will face Yokozuna for the WWF Title first, while Bret will face his brother Owen Hart (had Bret won the coin toss, Luger would have faced Crush). Bret will then face the winner of Luger vs. Yokozuna, no matter what happens in Bret vs. Owen.

We recap Bret vs. Owen, which is all about Owen wanting to get out from his brother’s shadow. Bret is one of the top stars in the WWF but Owen feels he is even better. They tried to win the Tag Team Titles together but the injured Bret wouldn’t tag out, costing them the titles. Owen turned on him as a result, which felt completely justified as Bret wouldn’t listen and tried to do everything himself. This is Owen’s big chance to prove that he’s a star in his own right and back up everything he has said about Bret for months now.

Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart

Dig that entrance where the X in the Wrestlemania logo slides apart, plus the entrance being opposite the hard camera as only MSG can make work. They go straight to the lockup, with Owen celebrating almost immediately. Bret wrestles him down and this time Owen has to go to the ropes for a break. Back up and Owen takes him down but this time Bret sends him outside to escape.

Owen slaps him in the face and then grabs a headlock, only to get reversed into a hammerlock. A rollup out of the corner gives Bret two and he armdrags Owen into an armbar. That’s broken up as well so Bret grabs a monkey flip, followed by a clothesline to the floor as things pick up for the first time. Owen teases leaving so Bret throws him back inside and hits a slap of his own, setting up another arm crank.

That’s broken up as well and Owen hits a spinwheel kick as neither can keep an advantage for that long. They head outside with Owen ramming him back first into the post. A backbreaker stays on the back and we hit a camel clutch as Owen plays Iron Sheik. Bret gets out (I knew he was better than Backlund) but charges into a belly to belly for two. Owen’s middle rope spinning crossbody connects and it’s off to the reverse chinlock with a knee in Bret’s back.

With that not working well enough, Owen tosses him to the floor, followed by a bridging German suplex for two back inside. It’s time to crank things up with a jumping Tombstone but instead of covering, Owen goes up to miss a top rope headbutt. Bret fights up and hits a clothesline, followed by a Russian legsweep for two. The middle rope elbow gets the same but Owen comes back with the enziguri.

Owen tries his own Sharpshooter but Bret counters, only to have his own version countered as well. A cradle gives Owen two with the kickout sending him outside. Lawler freaks out again, as he is glorious in praising Owen while yelling about Bret. A dive to the floor drops Owen again but Bret bangs up his knee on the landing. Back in and Owen goes right for the knee rather than letting Bret have a chance to sucker him in, including wrapping the leg around the post over and over.

Something like an Indian Deathlock has Bret down again so we hit the LET’S GO BRET chant. There’s something so simple about a chant like that but it just feels like wrestling. Owen goes a bit more classic with the Figure Four but Bret turns it over, sending Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret whips him chest first into the buckle, setting up a bulldog for two.

A heck of a piledriver gives Bret two more, though it seems to tweak his knee a bit. Said knee is fine enough to hit a top rope superplex (Bret always made those look good) for another near fall as Bret is getting frustrated. Bret grabs a sleeper so Owen goes for the ropes and kicks him low to escape. Owen slaps on the Sharpshooter, which is reversed into Bret’s version, which sends Owen straight to the ropes. Back up and Bret gets whipped into the corner but gets up a boot to stop a charge. Bret tries a victory roll but Owen sits down on him for the clean pin at 20:22.

Rating: A. Absolute classic here and still probably the best opening match ever. What made this work so well, in addition to the great wrestling, is the story that they were telling. Bret was going as hard as he could but he couldn’t beat the motivated Owen, who had everything riding on this. If Owen lost here, he had nowhere to go and would go even nuttier, which was enough to get him past his brother. I’ve seen this one a ton of times and it is still great every time. Check this out again in case you haven’t seen it in awhile.

In the back, Owen is VERY happy with his win and says he told us all. This is more pride than anything else as Owen is finally validated. He even praises Bret a bit because while he still loves his brother, he had to win. That’s a great little detail and something you don’t see in a lot of matches and stories.

Wrestlemania II was in three cities and had celebrities!

Sy Sperling, the President of the Hair Club for Men, presents Howard Finkel in a toupee.

Doink The Clown/Dink The Clown vs. Luna Vachon/Bam Bam Bigelow

Makes sense to put this here as nothing serious should be following the opener. Bigelow wastes no time in dropkicking Doink down to start but misses a backsplash. Doink avoids a charge and works on an armbar, which lasts as long as you would expect. It’s off to Luna vs. Dink, the latter of whom starts with a quick spank. Luna chokes him on the middle rope, only to miss a charge on the ropes. Dink’s elbow drop gets two so Luna kicks him in the stomach. Dink drives her into the corner but misses something off the top for a crash.

This time it’s Luna going up, where she misses a splash (which got some height) of her own. The double tag brings in Bigelow and Doink, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor in a heap. For some reason Dink is able to knock Bigelow down to his knees but Luna chases him back outside. Back in and Doink tries a sunset flip on Bigelow, which goes about as well as you would expect. Doink is fine enough to hit a jumping DDT on Bigelow, setting a missed top rope Whoopee Cushion. Bigelow knocks Dink off the apron and the top rope headbutt finishes Doink at 6:07.

Rating: D+. What else were you expecting here? There is only so much that you can get out of having a match mostly played for comedy, though having Bigelow and Luna win in such dominant fashion was a bit weird. At least they didn’t give it too much time though and it’s hard to get that annoyed at a match that is pure filler.

Post match Dink goes after Bigelow but gets taken down by Luna. The splash misses though and the clowns stand tall enough.

A Bill Clinton impersonator is here, complete with Jack Tunney next to him and IRS behind him.

Wrestlemania III was a huge show.

Randy Savage vs. Crush

This is billed as Falls Count Anywhere, which is true, but it has a twist to it, in that you get a fall but then your opponent has sixty seconds to get back in the ring. Yokozuna destroyed Crush a few months ago and Crush accused Savage, his former friend, of not checking on him. As a result, Crush beat the heck out of him, sending Savage into a rage, costing him a broadcasting job.

Now it’s time for revenge, so Savage charges at him in the aisle. That earns Savage a throat first drop onto the barricade for a fall on the floor less than a minute after the bell. Savage falls down at ringside but makes it back in with two seconds left. Crush ties him in the Tree of Woe and hammers away before going over to manager Mr. Fuji to get some salt. As you might expect, Savage gets out and knocks it into Crush’s face, setting up a top rope ax handle to the back.

The top rope elbow connects but Savage is smart enough to throw Crush outside for the pin, meaning the sixty second countdown is on again. Crush makes it back in with a second to go (and Fuji pouring water on his face/pushing him inside), meaning that was the most incredible elbow Savage ever hit.

Back in and Crush starts hammering on the back as they go to the floor again. They fight into the back with Crush being sent face first into a door, where they find some scaffolding. Savage gets the pin, but stops to tie Crush upside down in the scaffolding. Apparently never a Boy Scout, the rope slips and Crush falls down on the floor, but Savage gets the win anyway at 9:03.

Rating: C. This was a weird one as they mixed up a couple of stipulations, leaving us with a match that didn’t really work. Waiting for almost a minute after each fall made things drag a lot and that isn’t how such a grudge match should have gone. Savage out for vengeance in a wild weapons brawl should have been easy, but they twisted things around a bit here and it only kind of worked, mainly when they weren’t in the long rest periods. This would be Savage’s last match for the WWE, and it wasn’t a great way to go out.

Todd Pettengill is with the Clinton impersonator, who talks about how he has loved wrestling for years. IRS pops in for some tax jokes.

Video on Fan Fest, the ancestor of Axxess.

Randy Savage celebrates with the fans.

Randy Savage won the WWF Title in a tournament at Wrestlemania IV.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze

Kai, who challenged for the title at the first Wrestlemania, is challenging here as the company decided it cared about the Women’s Title again. The camera stays rather zoomed in to start before zooming out to show Kai running her over. Kai picks Blayze up for some choking and throws her down as Lawler talks about how much better Kai is at everything.

The yet to be named hurricanrana gives Blayze two but Kai tosses her outside. Back in and a butterfly suplex gives Kai two as this is one sided so far. Blayze fights back with some kicks and a snap suplex is good for two. Lawler suggests that Blayze looks like a horse before the German suplex retains the title at 3:27.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here, though Kai getting in that much offense was quite the surprise. The problem is that the division was Blayze, Bull Nakano and maybe one or two other women, which didn’t leave many options. Blayze was good, but there was only so much they could do in about three minutes with a cold challenger.

The Fabulous Moolah and Nikolai Volkoff are watching.

Roddy Piper used a fire extinguisher at Wrestlemania V.

Shawn Michaels interrupts an interview with Rhonda Shear, a USA TV host, but Burt Reynolds interrupts and gets the girl. Reynolds seems to have no idea why he’s here.

Tag Team Titles: Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

The Quebecers, with Johnny Polo (better known for his bird themes such as Scotty Flamingo and Raven), are defending but rapping Oscar is here with Men on a Mission. The champs jump the rather large challengers before the bell to start fast. Mo gets knocked outside but Mable runs the champs over with a double clothesline.

We settle down to Mo crossbodying Pierre for two and Mable drops the leg to make it worse. It’s back to Mo, who gets taken into the corner this time so the stomping can begin. Mo gets sent outside for a dive from Pierre for two back inside. A double hot shot gets the same as Lawler thinks Mabel has gone off to find food. Mo finally scores with a running flip attack but the referee doesn’t see the tag to Mabel.

Pierre misses a top rope legdrop though and the hot tag brings in Mabel to wreck the normal sized humans. A missed charge slows him down and the Quebecers manage a double suplex (Polo approves) to drop the giant. The Cannonball gets two but Mabel is back up with a spinwheel…well leg as his foot didn’t come close to Jacques’ face. An assisted splash crushes Jacques so Polo distracts the referee. Oscar breaks that up as Pierre hits Jacques by mistake. Another assisted splash hits Pierre on the floor and that’s a countout at 7:45.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the best match as Mabel is so big that you can only do so much with him and Mo just wasn’t very good. The Quebecers were a good team but they weren’t exactly miracle workers. Men on a Mission was a fun team just because of how bright and colorful they were, but you’re only able to get so far with this kind of a matchup.

Wrestlemania VI was the Ultimate Challenge, which proved that no one was unbeatable. In other words, pay no attention to that loser about to sign with WCW.

Donnie Wahlberg (of New Kids on the Block) and Rhonda Shear are the ring announcer and timekeeper.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Luger is challenging and Mr. Perfect is the surprise guest referee (in a referee shirt and matching pants for a different, yet still perfect, look). Yokozuna has Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji with him for quite the numbers advantage. Vince is doing everything that he can to make fans care about Luger, even calling him the embodiment of the spirit of America. Maybe calling him the embodiment of the spirit of someone who won the WWF Title at some point might help.

They glare at each other to start until Luger starts hammering away. The right hands put Yokozuna on the floor but Luger tosses him back inside, actually having learned his lesson from Summerslam. Back in and Luger goes up (Huh?) for a high crossbody (HUH?) for two, setting up the jumping elbow (which actually connects for a change) for two more. Luger tries a slam but Yokozuna falls onto him for the crash, meaning it’s time to start the slow beatdown.

Yokozuna pulls off the turnbuckle pad and we hit the nerve hold, which means putting his hand on Luger’s neck and not even pretending to squeeze. Luger starts fighting up and elbows his way out, only to get knocked down again. Some hard chops to the neck set up another nerve hold, which goes on for another minute plus before Luger is sent outside. Back in and we hit the nerve hold AGAIN, with Luger giving a look of boredom rather than pain, as this match is so far beyond dead that it’s actively turning into a zombie so it can die again.

Luger fights up and gets knocked down again, setting up the fourth nerve hold in a match that is just over eleven minutes long so far. That one is broken up as well but Yokozuna hits a belly to belly suplex. A missed charge sends Yokozuna into the exposed buckle though and Luger makes the clothesline comeback to put Yokozuna down.

Now the slam works (Lawler: “THAT WAS A HIPTOSS! THAT WAS A HIPTOSS!”) and Luger hits the loaded forearm. Mr. Fuji and Cornette come in but get decked, only to have Mr. Perfect not count with the two of them still in the ring. Luger yells at Perfect and shoves him, which is enough for the DQ at 14:38.

Rating: D-. This was absolutely dreadful and one of the worst major Wrestlemania matches of all time. Yokozuna could barely move and had to go to the same lazy hold four times in less than fifteen minutes. I know he’s huge and can’t move much, but maybe that means it is time for him to figure out something else. That didn’t help things, but it also exposed the other issue with Luger’s big push.

In addition to Yokozuna being terrible, Luger looked AWFUL here, as he did almost nothing but right hands and clotheslines. There are things you can do with an opponent the size of Yokozuna but Luger went as basic as possible, just like he did at Summerslam. At the same time, Luger looked bored out there with almost no charisma or anything close to it. Neither guy was putting in much effort here and it showed badly, as the fans calling the whole thing BS at the end being rather telling.

We go to the back where Mr. Perfect says you can’t touch a referee or you get disqualified. Luger comes in to yell at him but referees separate them. This was supposed to be a long term followup on Luger knocking Perfect out cold last year at Wrestlemania but Perfect left the company before it could go anywhere.

Vince and Lawler talk about the match, with Vince having to acknowledge the BS chants.

There was a blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII. THAT’S the match you pick from that show?

Harvey Wippleman yells at Howard Finkel about being a stupid New Yorker who has big ears and fake hair. He doesn’t like Fink’s suit either and rips it up, so Fink fights back. Cue Adam Bomb to go after Fink, but Earthquake of all people makes the save.

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Powerslam and the Earthquake finishes Bomb at 34 seconds. I’m going to assume this was a time issue.

Jim Cornette isn’t happy with how the match with Luger went but all that matters is who has the belt. He loved Mr. Perfect’s officiating and remember that BOTH PARTIES agreed on the referee choice. As for Bret Hart, what matters is whether he makes it through the match with his career intact. Bret already lost to his brother and has a bad knee but he still has to face this monster. Cornette knew how to hype someone up like few others could.

Wrestlemania VIII had an Undertaker….something. No match or opponent is mentioned, but he sure was there.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Ramon is defending and the title is hanging above the ring, because this is the ladder match. Ring announcer: “There are NO RULES.” He then explains how you win the title, which sounds a lot like rules. This is fallout from Shawn being suspended while still champion and being stripped of the title. Ramon won it, but then Shawn came back and said he was the real champion. Therefore, hang them both above the ring and see who can pull them down. Diesel is here with Shawn, meaning Razor has to keep glancing down at him.

Ramon blocks an early hiptoss attempt and hits a hard chokeslam (Razor was one of the first to really use that around here and it’s never remembered). Shawn comes right back with a running neckbreaker and starts hammering away as the cameraman has to avoid a referee. A charging Razor is sent outside where Diesel gets in a clothesline, which earns him an ejection. The camera stays on Diesel all the way to the entrance and we come back to Shawn getting flipped upside down in the corner.

A hard clothesline puts Shawn on the floor and it’s time to pull back the ring mats. That takes too long though and Shawn is back in with some stomping. Razor isn’t having that and punches him in the face, but the Razor’s Edge over the top is countered with a backdrop to the floor onto the exposed concrete. With Ramon down holding his arm, Shawn goes to get the first ladder, which is baseball slidden into Razor’s ribs.

Back in and Shawn drives the ladder into the ribs and then slams it onto Ramon’s back to keep him in trouble. Shawn makes the first climb so razor pulls his tights down on the way up for the save. Since that’s a bit embarrassing, Shawn kicks him down and drops the elbow to put Ramon back down. Shawn goes up the ladder and dives off with a splash for one of the most famous shots in company history.

Another climb is broken up as Razor goes simple by shoving it over. Back up and they collide for a double knockdown and a much needed breather (at least for Shawn, as Razor has mainly just been getting beaten up). Razor is fine enough to throw Shawn into the ladder in the corner for a crash to the floor, but instead of climbing, Razor drives the ladder into Shawn into the post. It works so well that he does it again and then catapults Shawn into the ladder, sending it crashing back down onto Michaels for a good looking bump.

Back in and Razor BLASTS HIM in the face with the ladder, knocking Michaels outside again. Shawn breaks that up as well but this time the ladder falls down onto him, which is quite the punishment. They both go up so Razor backdrops him over the top, only to fall as well, with the ladder bending underneath him. Shawn dropkicks the ladder to make another save and then gets smart by shoving the ladder onto Razor.

Back up again and Shawn hits a superkick, setting up another hard piledriver. Shawn heads to the top and rides the ladder down onto Razor’s in another famous shot before setting the ladder up again. That takes too long though and Razor shoves it over, with Shawn’s leg getting tied in the ropes. That’s enough for Razor to go up and pull down the titles for the win at 18:51.

Rating: A+. I could go with “it’s the ladder match” as the explanation here and it would be completely covered, but this is again almost all about Shawn, as it should be. When you look back at the whole thing, there are only a few big Razor bumps or spots at all. The rest is Shawn doing things to Razor, who is mainly laying there. Razor got the title, but Shawn got the glory and fame here, which is how it should be. This is the match that really put Shawn on the map and my goodness it is easy to see why, as he was a human pinball who made this look flawless. I would tell you it’s great, but again, it’s the ladder match.

IRS, the Headshrinkers, Rick Martel and Adam Bomb argue about who the captain is going to be in their ten man tag. Somehow, this results in the match being postponed to Raw in a few weeks.

Ted DiBiase meets the Clinton impersonator but Clinton doesn’t want to talk politics.

Wrestlemania IX was outside and Yokozuna cheated to win the WWF Title. And nothing else happened after that.

Video on Bret Hart, set to Making Some Noise by Tom Petty.

Video on Yokozuna.

It’s time for the main event so Jenny Garth is timekeeper and a seemingly hammered Burt Reynolds is guest ring announcer.

WWF Title: Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Yokozuna, again with Jim Cornette and Mr. Fuji, is defending and the guest referee this time is….Roddy Piper. Bret even sells the leg from earlier in the night on his way to the ring, with Yokozuna jumping him on the way in. The slow beating is on, with Yokozuna hammering him down and then standing around for a bit. Yokozuna cuts off the comeback attempt and chokes in the ropes, earning a tongue lashing from Piper.

Bret fights back again with a headbutt, which actually puts Yokozuna down, albeit after some staggering. Cornette pulls Piper out at two so Piper drops him with as much effort as you would expect. The delay lets Yokozuna knock Bret over again and the legdrop lands right on his face. Back up and Yokozuna very, very slowly hammers on Bret in the corner, only to miss the big charge.

Bret slugs away and drops the middle rope elbow, setting up the running clothesline for two. A middle rope….something is pulled out of the air to set up the belly to belly and it’s time for the Banzai Drop. That takes a good while to set up though and Yokozuna loses his balance, falling backwards in a big crash. Bret covers and Piper counts rather quickly (so quickly that he doesn’t see Yokozuna’s shoulder being off the mat) for the pin and the title at 10:33.

Rating: C-. It was better than the Luger match because it didn’t go as long, but this was another match where Yokozuna looked like he was gassed after every move. That is the reason you get the title off of him because there isn’t much that can be done with e champion who is virtually immobile after two minutes. Bret didn’t so much win the title as much as he escaped with it, but sometimes that’s all you need to do.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Piper so here is Lex Luger to shake Bret’s hands. Piper comes back as well and here is the locker room, plus the celebrities, to join them. Even Vince and Gorilla Monsoon get in there. Bret is carried on their shoulders….and here is Owen to come out and look at him, with a shake of the head to end the show. That’s great storytelling and something so simple because so many people can relate to it, plus it isn’t some long ago call back that requires some big explanation. Nice job.

Overall Rating: B. This show is kind of fascinating really. the show is beloved and considered a classic, but outside of the opener and the ladder match, the wrestling is ok at best and terrible at worst. It’s a two match show and those two matches are both all timers, but the rest of the show is around a D+. There are some long stretches without anything good going on and that makes this a bit of a chore at times.

Then there is the other part of the show that makes it so well regarded: the show felt important. This felt like a celebration of the history of the biggest WWF show and that was something worth bragging about. At the same time, look at how they celebrated it: a quick look at each of the previous editions and Vince hyping up how important the show is. That’s it. No stadium, no LOOK AT US LOOK AT US LOOK AT US and no ridiculous scripted speeches from commentary with words no one would use. It felt natural but still big, which is something that has been completely lost on WWE over the years.

Overall, this is a special show and something that every fan needs to see at least once, just for the two major matches. Both of them are Wrestlemania moments, but they are about all that is worth watching on the show. I don’t know why Lelani Kai and Earthquake are on a major show in 1994, but that isn’t what people remember. Either way, check this one out if you have the chance, because it still feels special.

Ratings Comparison

Owen Hart vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Crush

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2022 Redo: C

Alundra Blayze vs. Lelani Kai

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2022 Redo: C-

Men on a Mission vs. Quebecers

Original: F
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2022 Redo: C

Yokozuna vs. Lex Luger

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: F
2022 Redo: D-

Earthquake vs. Adam Bomb

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2022 Redo: N/A

Razor Ramon vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2022 Redo: A+

Bret Hart vs. Yokozuna

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: D+
2022 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A-
2015 Redo: B+
2022 Redo: B

This one has actually gone down a bit over the years as the nostalgia might be wearing off a bit.

 

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WrestleMania IX (2025 Edition): When Giants Can’t Do It

Wrestlemania IX
Date: April 4, 1993
Location: Caesars Palace, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 16,891
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage

With Wrestlemania XLI in Las Vegas (or really close to it), WWE is looking back at this show in ways that have never been done before. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be some new appreciation for the show, as it’s not like anyone has ever really appreciated it before. It’s a double main event, though neither match is overly exciting. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses on the location more than anything else, with Bret Hart and Yokozuna on the side of a casino.

Host Gorilla Monsoon introduces the newest WWF broadcaster: Jim Ross, who is rather impressed by some of the Roman set. Or he hates it. You never can tell with Ross. Either way, he hypes up the double main event and it still sounds wrong to hear Ross talk about Hulk Hogan.

Finkus Maximus (just go with it) introduces Caesar and Cleopatra, who come in on an elephant. After they do nothing (though the elephant does stand on its hind legs), Randy Savage is brought out on a sedan with some vestal virgins. Then Bobby Heenan, who was supposed to be on the sedan, comes out (backwards) on a camel. Naturally Heenan makes this work, because he can make just about anything work.

Intercontinental Title: Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels, with Luna Vachon, is defending after Tatanka, with Sherri (Shawn’s former manager) beat him a few times in non-title matches. Heenan says Sherri won’t be here in Tatanka’s corner. Savage: “Wrong again camel breath.” They take their time to get going before Michael’s single leg doesn’t exactly work. Tatanka comes back up with a hammerlock but has to power out of a top wristlock.

A headlock takeover out of the corner gives Michaels two so he tries it again, only to get reversed into a belly to back suplex. Michaels goes up but gets armdragged out of the air (cool), setting up a Flair Flip in the corner. Back in and Tatanka starts in on the arm with an armbar as commentary is thankfully right there to tell us about Michaels having a bad shoulder recently.

Michaels fights up but misses a charge into the post, setting up a shoulder breaker but Tatanka drops an elbow instead of covering (Savage is not pleased with the lack of a cover). A top rope chop hits Michaels so Tatanka goes up again, only to dive into the superkick for a sweet counter. They go outside where Michaels hits a hard clothesline off the apron, allowing him to flirt with Sherri for a bit.

Back in and the chinlock goes on, followed by some rapid fire lefts in the corner. For some reason Michaels climbs onto Tatanka’s shoulders and that’s good for an electric chair. Back up and the superkick is blocked, allowing Tatanka to fire off some chops. Even Heenan is getting on Tatanka for not covering so a high crossbody gives Tatanka two.

Michaels gets in a knockdown of his own and goes up but gets powerslammed out of the air for a big crash. They fight to the floor, where Michaels misses a dive off the apron for a nasty crash. That doesn’t work for Michaels, who pulls the referee out to break up the countout, which is a DQ at 18:23.

Rating: B-. This was getting really good by the end as they were just trading big shots. Tatanka was staying a step or two ahead of Michaels the whole way and if Michaels wasn’t such a big deal at this point, changing the title would not have been crazy. That being said, Michaels was clearly the prospect of the future here and protecting him made sense. Good opener here, which doesn’t feel nearly that long.

Post match Tatanka celebrates but Vachon jumps Sherri, leaving Tatanka to chase her off.

The Steiner Brothers are ready to face the Headshrinkers in their first Wrestlemania.

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. JR debuts the term “slobberknocker”, which has Heenan right there with the jokes. Scott armdrags Fatu to start and goes after the armbar. Fatu isn’t having that and they slug it out, which is of course fine with Scott. A clothesline turns Fatu inside out so he goes to the eyes to cut Scott off. Rick tries to cut off some double teaming but gets dropped with a single right hand in something you don’t see very often.

The Headshrinkers make the mistake of turning their backs on the Steiners, who go up top (same buckle) and come off with a double Steiner Line (that was awesome). Apparently Luna has attacked Sherri in the First Aid station as it’s off to Rick, who gets chopped down by Samu. Scott comes back in and starts slugging away but gets caught in a hot shot, which goes a bit too hard and he crashes out to the floor.

Afa BLASTS Scott with his stick and they go back inside, where Fatu hits a middle rope headbutt. Something like a bulldog puts Scott down again, as does a standing dropkick from Samu. A Demolition Decapitator (minus the rope walk) gets two but Fatu misses a top rope headbutt. It’s back to Rick, who is taken down with a double Stroke. An electric chair is loaded up but Rick powerslams Fatu out of the air (GEEZ) for two in an awesome looking counter. Scott is back in with a belly to belly but Samu snaps off a great looking superkick. Back up and a quick Frankensteiner gives Scott the pin at 14:27.

Rating: B. The more I watch this match, the more I like it, as you had four big, strong guys just laying it in over and over. They were absolutely beating the fire out of each other and it’s awesome throughout. That powerslam out of the air was great and I wanted to see them stay at it. Heck of a match here and we can call this an underrated gem.

Doink is thrilled with how well his “pranks” have been received, including ripping his ‘own arm out of its socket”, because only Randy Savage got the idea of a cast. Today he’s facing Crush, who might be….seeing double.

Crush vs. Doink The Clown

Doink wastes no time in spraying his flower at Crush to start, earning himself a slam on the floor. Crush posts him hard and they head inside for the first time, where Doink is whipped hard into the corner. Some shots from Doink just make Crush madder and they head back inside for a jumping necksnap over the top (Savage says “love it, love it, love it” over seeing one of his old moves).

Something close to a Stunner over the top staggers Crush though and Doink adds a top rope shot to the back. That works so well that Doink adds a middle rope version, plus another top rope shot to finally put Crush down. Another posting has Crush in more trouble but he powerslams Doink out of the air for quite the crash. A running clothesline sends Doink outside and it’s time to crawl underneath the ring.

That’s broken up so Crush teases the Head Vice, but the referee gets bumped. JR: “I’m concerned about the official who is lying there motionless.” Savage: “No he’s just out cold”. The Head Vice goes on and Doink is in trouble…but here is another Doink to hit Crush in the back with the cast. Two cast shots to the head knock Crush silly and we get a double vision deal. The original Doink gets the pin at 8:29.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly great but it did have a clever ending. The original Doink was a rather interesting idea and could have gone a long way before he went on with the stupid comedy stuff. This should have told you that Crush wasn’t likely going anywhere as losing, even via a screwy finish, in this spot isn’t a good sign.

Post match another referee comes out to check under the ring for the other Doink but they can’t find him.

Todd Pettingill talks to some Japanese photographers, who like Yokozuna.

Bob Backlund vs. Razor Ramon

Backlund offers a handshake to start but gets a toothpick thrown in his face instead. Ramon shoves him into the corner without much trouble but Backlund sweeps the leg a few times and bounces back and forth like Brock Lesnar would later do. Ramon goes with the power take over as we hear about Lex Luger knocking out Bret Hart earlier today. Backlund shrugs it off and hits a hiptoss, followed by a missed dropkick. A butterfly suplex drops Ramon and an atomic drop does the same, only for Ramon to small package him for the pin at 3:44.

Rating: C-. This felt way out of place, as Ramon went from challenging for the WWF Title at the Royal Rumble to whatever this was supposed to be. I’m not sure why this was on the card but it’s one of the more bizarre matches you will ever see at Wrestlemania. At least it was short, but egads this did not feel like it belonged on Wrestlemania.

Money Inc. doesn’t seem worried about the Mega Maniacs. We look back at Money Inc. smashing Brutus Beefcake’s face with their briefcase, which got Jimmy Hart on Beefcake’s side. It also brought Hulk Hogan back to the WWF, but Money Inc. still isn’t worried.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

The Maniacs, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging and Hogan is sporting a REALLY nasty black eye (apparently from a Jetski accident but also possibly due to a backstage fight with Randy Savage, depending on which story you believe). The villains try to jump the Maniacs before the bell and are cleared out while Hogan’s music is still playing. Money Inc. is chased to the floor again and we finally start with Beefcake and IRS.

Beefcake gets taken into the wrong corner for some chops and DiBiase comes in for an elbow to the (masked) face. For some reason DiBiase goes for a shot to the face and hurts his own hand, setting up a double noggin knocker to bring us back to the 80s. DiBiase’s ram into the buckle has no effect either and Beefcake sends him into the corner over and over for some more success.

Hogan comes in for a few shots but it’s already back to Beefcake for the stomping. Hogan’s middle rope ax handle connects and DiBiase is sent outside. A poke to the eye cuts IRS off and Hogan sends him outside like a hero should be doing. Money Inc. teases leaving but are threatened with losing the titles if they don’t get back in. That means an eight count, sending Heenan into a rant about the rules being made up as they go.

Back in and DiBiase takes over on Hogan, with the champs getting in a variety of choking on the ropes. We hit the Million Dollar Dream and Hogan stays in it so long that he should be legally dead. Savage: “They’re hanging from the rafters! But they don’t have rafters in the Roman Coliseum. What they have are columns and they’re hanging from them!” Hogan fights up so Beefcake comes in (no tag) and puts the sleeper on DiBiase, leaving him out cold as well. They both beat the ten count and Beefcake comes back in to clean house, only for DiBiase to hit him in the back with the briefcase.

DiBiase finally goes after the mask and gets it off, meaning Beefcake’s face is sent into a raised boot in the corner. Beefcake fights up and drops IRS but the referee gets bumped. The double tag (unseen by the referee) brings in Hogan and DiBiase with the former slugging away.

The big boot hits DiBiase and Beefcake hits IRS with the mask. We get a double cover so Jimmy Hart turns his jacket inside out (it has black and white stripes) to count the double pin. Ever the morons, Hogan and Beefcake celebrate with the titles (Hogan slips on the ropes) and even Savage doesn’t think this makes sense. Another referee comes out to disqualify the Maniacs at 18:28.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what makes good guys in wrestling so dumb but my goodness this was stupid even by wrestlers’ standards. It might have come after being so bored by the match, which was just WAY too long and nothing worth seeing. Hogan being in a tag team doesn’t feel important in the slightest and Beefcake felt like a relic of the past here. Just dull stuff here and a pretty lame flop of a match.

Post match the Maniacs are annoyed at the other referee for calling the DQ and Hart throws him over the top. Hogan gets to pose while Beefcake and Hart stand around, leaving him to open the briefcase and find….a brick. And money. One of which is given to the fans. Well gee I wonder why they’re cheering Hogan here.

Singer Natalie Cole has absolutely nothing to say but the CEO of Caesars Palace is a bit happier to have the WWF here.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about Lex Luger and his bionic forearm. Luger calls himself a knockout artist and beyond perfection but Perfect has been hot at the tables this week. He’s ready to go deal with….the Lexissus? Perfect almost cracks up at his flub and says he’s going to go do it.

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Luger has some rather scantily clad women with him and Savage seems interested. JR: “I’ve been to at least a dozen rodeos in Oklahoma and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like that.” Heenan: “OF COURSE NOT!” The women hold up the mirrors and we’re officially ready to go. They take their time to start until Perfect hits a nice running knee lift. A shoulder puts Luger down and a running dropkick does it again, meaning it’s time for a breather on the floor.

Back in and Luger slowly hammers away but Perfect takes him down and gets in the Robinsdale Crunch. The leg gets cranked on for a bit but Luger gets up and sends him into the buckle a few times to take over. A backbreaker keeps Perfect down and a cradle with feet on the ropes gets two.

Luger hits a powerslam for two but Perfect’s sunset flip gets the same. Perfect catapults him head first into the buckle and slowly hammers away for two. A not so perfect missile dropkick gives Perfect two and they fight over a backslide, with Perfect’s feet touching the ropes, though the referee doesn’t see it, to give Luger the cheap pin at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, with Perfect being his usual athletic self but Luger was basically in slow motion. The Narcissist stuff never worked and that was on full display again. Perfect was doing his thing and I still really like him as a good guy, but there is only so much you can do with this kind of a situation.

Post match Perfect is furious and Luger knocks him out with the big forearm. This was possibly the long form setup for Perfect screwing Luger over the next year, which is a heck of a story if that is where they were going. Luger leaves so Perfect goes after him, shoving away Shawn Michaels in the process. Michaels jumps Perfect from behind and beats him down, setting up their Summerslam feud.

Heenan laughs about what happened to Perfect, which has Savage on his feet in anger for some reason.

Gorilla Monsoon hypes up the two remaining matches.

Giant Gonzalez vs. Undertaker

Harvey Wippleman and Paul Bearer are here too. If that’s not enough, Undertaker comes to the ring in a funeral chariot with a vulture, because he’s that kind of awesome. They do the big staredown and Undertaker barely comes up to Gonzalez’s nose. Gonzalez shoves him down and chokes away, with Undertaker having to go to the middle rope to choke back. A low blow cuts Undertaker off but he’s right back with Old School.

Gonzalez gets in a beal to send him flying and we hit a standing chinlock. Undertaker finally fights up but gets sent outside so Gonzalez can slowly hammer away. The steps crush Undertaker again but he gets back inside, where a headbutt puts him down again. Undertaker strikes away and goes after Wippleman, who throws in a rag. Gonzalez uses said rag, which is apparently covered in ether, to knock Undertaker out for the DQ at 7:36.

Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was every bit as bad as you could imagine. At the end of the day, Gonzalez could not do anything in the ring to back up his presence. It’s amazing to see someone that size, but it only gets you so far when you can’t do ANYTHING once the bell rings. Throw in a stupid ending to protect Gonzalez and this was an all time terrible Wrestlemania match.

Post match Undertaker is taken out on a stretcher, with Savage implying that undertaker is dead (which….yeah kind of the point). Undertaker leaves so the fans chant for Hogan, which draws Undertaker back out to clear the ring. Cops come out to take Gonzalez away.

We recap Bret Hart defending the WWF Title against Yokozuna, which is all about Yokozuna being a total monster. Yokozuna has crushed a bunch of people with the Banzai Drop, including Hart, who did get up, though that’s not shown here due to reasons. Naturally this means we talk to Hulk Hogan, who has been firing Hart up. You really should be able to see it coming from here. Last night, some people attacked him at the gym but that’s not what matters right now. Hart is a Hulkamaniac but Hogan wants the first shot at either Hart or the (deleted Japanese slur). And that’s that.

Todd Pettingill meets some annoying fans.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is challenging. They stare each other down to start until Hart hits a running dropkick. Some right hands in the corner don’t have much impact and Yokozuna runs him over to the floor without much trouble. Hart gets smart by tripping him down and getting the big leg tied in the ropes. Some right hands and a middle rope elbow have Yokozuna in more trouble but he’s able to get out.

One heck of a clothesline puts Hart down, setting up the big legdrop as the pace slows. A nerve hold has Hart down again but he fights up and gets a boot up in the corner. The middle rope bulldog puts Yokozuna down for two but he’s right back with a superkick. The nerve hold goes on again but Hart avoids a splash. The Sharpshooter actually goes on (and it’s not a bad one either), only for Fuji to throw salt in his eyes. Yokozuna gets the pin and the title at 8:57.

Rating: D+. This is a similar story to the Gonzalez match, but Yokozuna is FAR better than Gonzalez could ever hope to be. That being said, Hart was still limited in what he could do, but some of the ways he was outsmarting Yokozuna did work. It’s far from a terrible match, though it’s certainly not worth a look outside of the title change.

Post match Hulk Hogan is IMMEDIATELY out there to check on Hart, prompting Fuji to issue the challenge for a title shot RIGHT NOW in an all time dumb move. Hart gives Hogan his blessing and yes we’re on.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Yokozuna

Hogan is challenging and gets jumped at the start, so Fuji throws more salt, only to hit Yokozuna. The freedom loving referee is fine with this, allowing Hogan to hit a clothesline and drop the leg to win the title at 22 seconds.

Hogan celebrates to end the show as Heenan is losing his mind.

Overall Rating: D+. Yeah this show deserves a lot of its reputation. There are all kinds of issues here, and one that doesn’t get addressed enough is the Roman Coliseum deal. It feels like some goofy fun idea and that doesn’t mesh with the biggest show of the year. Do this for something like Summerslam, but don’t try to make Wrestlemania into a themed show.

That’s on top of ALL the other problems, including some pretty dreadful matches and almost nothing that feels Wrestlemania worthy. Hogan coming in to steal the title and make Hart the afterthought of afterthoughts didn’t help either. This show somehow lives down to its terrible reputation and even the awesomeness that is the Steiners vs. the Headshrinkers (easily the match of the night) can’t bring it up to even ok.

Ratings Comparison

Tatanka vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2025 Redo: B-

Steiner Brothers vs. Headshrinkers

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: A-
2025 Redo: B

Doink the Clown vs. Crush

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Razor Ramon vs. Bob Backlund

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C-

Money Inc. vs. Mega Maniacs

Original: C+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Lex Luger vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D-
2015 Redo: F
2025 Redo: D-

Yokozuna vs. Bret Hart

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D+

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: F+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

It’s interesting that Hart vs. Yokozuna has been the same for all four versions but the show just is not very good.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




WrestleMania Count-Up – WrestleMania VII (2023 Edition): The War On Boredom

Wrestlemania VII
Date: March 24, 1991
Location: Los Angeles Sports Arena, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,158
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s the Gulf War show, as Hulk Hogan is fighting to get the WWF Title back from former American hero turned Iraqi sympathizer Sgt. Slaughter. If that sounds like one of the worst ideas for a Wrestlemania main event ever, you have quite the memory for these things. Other than that we have Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a match that actually belongs in a big spot at Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is all about the stars and stripes with only Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter being shown.

Willie Nelson sings America The Beautiful.

Jim Duggan joins commentary for the first match, while saying that Hulk Hogan going after Sgt. Slaughter is like the military going after Saddam Hussein.

The Rockers know they’re ready for Haku and the Barbarian, whether they are part of the Heenan Family or not.

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Haku and Barbarian, with Bobby Heenan, are already in the ring in a move that could cut down on so much Wrestlemania time these days. Shawn and Haku start things off as the fans are already yelling about Heenan. Haku whips him into the corner a few times but a shoulder and some right hands get Shawn out of trouble. Marty comes in for the double elbow but Barbarian clotheslines both Rockers inside out.

Back up and a double superkick drops Barbarian and it’s time for pointers with the Brain (jot that down for a talk show idea). We settle back down to Marty sunset flipping Barbarian for two before working over the arm. Haku comes back in for a double headbutt and an assisted hot shot has Marty in even more trouble. The gorilla press plants Marty again and Barbarian even draws Shawn in so double choking can ensue.

A hard whip into the corner gives Barbarian two more and we hit the required bearhug (What took them so long?). Marty tries to fight back but gets caught in a heck of a powerslam to cut him off again. Barbarian misses the top rope headbutt though and there’s the tag to Shawn. House is quickly cleaned, including a middle rope crossbody to Barbarian. Everything breaks down and it’s a double clothesline to Barbarian. Marty missile Barbarian and Shawn adds a high crossbody for the pin at 10:33.

Rating: C+. The middle felt a little bit long but this was a perfectly fine power vs. speed tag match. The Rockers are one of the better speed teams from around this time and they were a great choice for an opener. Haku and Barbarian on the other hand were perfectly acceptable monsters, making this a rather nice way to get the crowd fired up. It would have been a heck of a house show match (and probably was more than once) and that worked well in this spot.

We get our celebrity interviews with Regis Philbin (scared of Earthquake), Marla Maples (future wife of Donald Trump and tonight’s guest timekeeper) and Alex Trebek (Jeopardy jokes abound). I love Jeopardy and Regis can be funny, but these are about as cringe as you can get.

Dino Bravo vs. Texas Tornado

Jimmy Hart is here with Bravo, who jumps Tornado at the bell and clotheslines him out to the floor in an early heap. Back in and Tornado slugs away but can’t get the Claw. Bravo knocks him down again and drops an elbow for two, setting up the side slam. The delayed cover gets two and there’s a middle rope elbow to the back of Tornado’s head. Bravo goes up but dives into the Claw, setting up the Tornado Punch for the pin at 3:11.

Rating: D. This is the match that I cite for why I don’t redo every Wrestlemania (or any show) very often. There are only so many ways you can talk about a nothing match like this with no build and almost no time. Tornado was past his expiration date and Bravo would be gone, save for mostly house shows, after this, so what were they supposed to do here?

Slick and the Warlord are ready to beat British Bulldog. Sweet goodness I was scared of Warlord’s half mask back then and it’s still an awesome look to this day.

Bulldog says he can powerslam Warlord.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord but Bulldog has his mascot Winston (he’s no Matilda). This is power vs. power so Warlord starts with the clubbing forearm to the back. Bulldog runs him over with some shoulders and Warlord is already on the floor for a breather. Back in and Warlord counters the crucifix into something like a Samoan drop as things slow way back down. The bearhug goes on for a bit before Bulldog charges into a hot shot to cut the comeback right back off.

We hit the chinlock, with Heenan even complaining about how sloppy Warlord has it on. With that broken up, Bulldog dropkicks him into the corner and hammers away, setting up a crossbody for two. The piledriver is blocked so Bulldog settles for two off a sunset flip instead. Bulldog misses a charge though and Warlord gets most of the full nelson, minus the fingers being locked. The incomplete version is broken up and Bulldog hits the powerslam for the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was another house show style match as Bulldog gets an impressive win, with that powerslam still looking great. Warlord is up there with the most generic monster villains you can get but he looked good enough that beating him still felt like something of a big deal. These two could have some nice power matches though and they made a basic story work well here.

The Nasty Boys, with Jimmy Hart, are ready to win the Tag Team Titles, even if it means beating the Hart Foundation. They destroy Gene handkerchief to warm up.

The Hart Foundation are ready for a fight but say the Nastys can’t crack, move or break the foundation.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys, with Jimmy Hart (in a helmet), are challenging and Macaulay Culkin is in the audience, with Monsoon thankfully recognizing him. Sags punches away at Bret to start but Bret is back with a Thesz press and right hands (….hey). Bret cuts off a kick to the ribs and stomps Sags in the abdomen (or bread basket, whichever you prefer). Knobbs comes in to hammer on Neidhart in the corner, which of course is just fine with Neidhart.

The hard shoulders send Knobbs to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm back inside. It’s back to Sags, who gets taken down again by Neidhart, allowing Bret to hammer away as well. The Russian legsweep into the middle rope elbow connects but Bret has to cut off an interfering Knobbs. That’s enough for Sags to get in a cheap shot so the Nastys can actually take over for a change.

Bret is knocked to the floor for a breather, followed by a hard whip into the corner back inside as the pace stays slow. The reverse chinlock goes on for a good while before Knobbs comes in for one of his own. Sags grabs a third reverse chinlock, followed by Knobbs dropping elbows to the bad back.

Make that four reverse chinlocks until Bret finally avoids a charge in the corner. The tag to Neidhart isn’t seen but Knobbs runs into Sags by mistake, allowing Neidhart to come in legally. House is cleaned and a powerslam gets two on Knobbs. The Nastys collide again and the Hart Attack hits Knobbs. There’s no referee though, allowing Sags to get in a shot with Jimmy’s helmet to give Knobbs the pin and the titles at 12:00.

Rating: C. There were good sections, but how in the world can four straight reverse chinlocks be the best you have? Mixing it up at least a little big really shouldn’t be too much to ask but apparently that wasn’t going to happen here. This was a way to get some fresh blood in the tag division, which would be needed as the Harts were more or less done after this, with Bret moving into his singles career.

We recap Rick Martel vs. Jake Roberts. Martel went to spray Jake’s snake bag with cologne (because reasons) but sprayed Jake in the eyes. Roberts was blinded as a result, though he managed to DDT Brother Love at one point. His eyes were messed up for months but now he’s back for a blindfold match.

Roberts says snakes have five senses but they always do it better in the dark.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

They’re both in hoods and if you ignore being able to see the eye hole when Jake puts his on, it makes for a good visual. Roberts goes smart early on by having the crowd help him find Martel. There’s no contact for the first minute until both of them stumble over the other a bit. Jake gets two off a rollup and then steps around Martel’s backdrop attempt (because that’s the kind of thing you do when you can’t see).

The pointing thing results in a collision and a pair of missed charges. Then to mix it up a bit, they miss each other again. Martel finally catches him with a slam but misses the elbow drop as Gorilla and Bobby suddenly can’t hear each other. Martel corners the referee in the corner as Jake is in another corner to start the pointing. With that not working, Jake starts clapping to get Martel to come over. This one actually works, but they crash into the ropes. Heenan: “Why doesn’t Martel lift the hood up and peak?” Gorilla: “That’s cheating!” Heenan: “SO WHAT???”

A headlock doesn’t work for Jake as Martel sends him outside. Heenan: “Excuse me. MARTEL! HE’S ON THE FLOOR!” Martel follows him out and pokes around with a chair, with the swing only hitting the post. Back in and Martel hits a backbreaker to set up the Boston crab. With that broken up in a hurry (so much for Martel’s finisher), Jake grabs the DDT for the pin at 8:31.

Rating: D. This match isn’t something that works well on second viewings, as there are so many instances where it is clear that they can see each other. Roberts getting the win is the feel good moment, but it took its sweet time getting there. Not as completely horrible as I remember it, but it doesn’t work very well if you’re paying attention.

Post match Jake busts up the Arrogance atomizer and puts Damien on Martel.

Marla Maples is in the locker room where the Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart and the Mountie are celebrating the Tag Team Title win. Dino Bravo and Earthquake come in with more champagne and Marla is surrounded. That’s it for her, as this isn’t exactly a great celebrity cameo. What exactly was nasty about a big celebration anyway?

Jimmy Snuka vs. The Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker of course. Snuka stares at Undertaker as we cut to Bearer looking….well weird to everyone else, normal for him. Undertaker sends him into the corner a few times before knocking Snuka outside in a heap. A suplex brings Snuka back in but he manages a few strikes for a breather. Snuka’s missed charge only hits ropes though and it’s another crash to the floor, followed by the Tombstone to make Undertaker 1-0 at Wrestlemania at 4:20.

Rating: D+. It’s always kind of interesting that one of the most important things in the company’s history started off as such a nothing match. This was little more than a squash as Snuka had absolutely nothing. The Tombstone alone was worth a look, though Undertaker was still figuring a lot of things out at this point.

We recap Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior in a career threatening match. Savage wanted a shot at Warrior’s WWF Title but got turned down (despite Sherri’s suggestive advances). As a result, Savage cheated like crazy to cost Warrior the title to Sgt. Slaughter. Warrior wants revenge, and their careers are on the line. This is FAR more interesting than the real main event as it has a more personal story and could go either way.

Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior

Before the match, Heenan spots Miss Elizabeth in the crowd, looking a bit distraught. Savage, with Queen Sherri, gets his big throne entrance and Warrior makes it weird by walking to the ring. They take their time to get going until Warrior powers him away. Savage bounces off of him and it’s time for a breather on the floor. Back in and Warrior chokes away before hitting an atomic drop, though things are still moving fairly slowly.

Sherri’s interference fails and Warrior punches Savage down again. Savage finally comes back with that running clothesline but Warrior pulls a high crossbody out of the air (that’s always impressive). Instead of slamming Savage down though, Warrior sits him down to start up the mind games. Said games cause Savage to throw in a chair but Warrior punches him down again. Warrior finally misses a charge into the corner though and Sherri stomps away on the floor.

Savage’s top rope ax handle has a bit more impact but Warrior shoves Sherri down anyway. A posting drops Warrior and Sherri, not taking this lying down, kicks away at Warrior. As Gorilla says this is officially the largest pay per view audience in the history of pay per view, Warrior gets two off a backslide for a breather. Warrior hits the clothesline and runs the ropes a bunch, only to miss the shoulder.

Savage grabs the chinlock for a bit before Warrior fights up. A double clothesline gives us a double knockdown and they’re both rather winded. Back up and Warrior actually grabs a small package but Sherri has the referee. Savage knees Warrior in the back to send him into the referee and now things are getting going. Sherri comes in off the top with her shoe but hits Savage by mistake, meaning it’s time for Warrior to go a-stalking.

A rollup (seemingly with trunks) gives Savage two and he sends Warrior hard into the corner. Savage clotheslines him in the back of the head and drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow. Then he drops the top rope elbow….for two, just in case you didn’t know who was winning here.

Warrior Warriors Up and hits the shoulders into the gorilla press drop. The Warrior Splash connects for two and now Warrior is stunned. Warrior looks up, then looks at his hands, and starts walking up the aisle. Instead of taking the countout, Savage jumps him from behind and goes up top, only to miss his dive onto the barricade. Back in and Warrior’s flying shoulder sends Savage outside again. They get back in and do it again, as Savage’s bumps off the shoulder here are awesome. A third running shoulder sends Savage outside again and Warrior throws him back inside. Savage is DONE and Warrior gets the pin at 20:47.

Rating: A-. This felt like an epic showdown between two top stars and that is what it was supposed to be. You don’t get this kind of a match very often around the WWF and they made it work on every front. The ending scene of Savage being completely defeated made it look like the better man won, even with Savage and Sherri cheating every chance they could. Outstanding match here and it still more than holds up.

Post match Warrior leaves and Sherri berates Savage as he still can’t get up. She even kicks him over and over….until Elizabeth jumps the barricade and chases Sherri off (the ultra rare instance of her getting physical). Savage finally gets up and sees Elizabeth, leaving him very confused. Elizabeth stretches out her arms and Savage finally hugs her to a huge roar. Savage puts her on his shoulder and then holds the ropes open for her, because things have finally changed before them.

This is the moment that can still bring a bit of a tear to the eye of fans of my generation because it was YEARS in the making and the fans were begging Savage to take her back by the end. It’s Savage FINALLY being at peace and getting his happy ending after leaving it all in the ring. This is still one of the best things that WWE has ever done and it still gets to me, even if I’ve seen it dozens of times.

And now, a debate on instant replay in wrestling, with Vince McMahon moderating the discussion between New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and NFL analyst Paul Maguire. Steinbrenner wants instant replay but if it takes more than a minute to get the call right, fire them. Vince: “What do you mean fire him? Like, from his job?” Maguire doesn’t like the idea and insults Steinbrenner over his comments. We get an instant replay, as looked at by the Bushwhackers, which results in the tape being ruined. Their ruling: the tape is inconclusive, therefore the play stands. This was bizarre to put it mildly, which might be why it isn’t on the Peacock version.

We run down what is left on the show as this feels like an intermission. Gorilla and Bobby talk about what has gone on so far, with Heenan saying if he was Savage, he would rather have some money than a skirt.

Regis Philbin interviews Undertaker and Paul Bearer, with Undertaker taking measurements for….reasons. Puns about being alive ensue.

Alex Trebek interviews Demolition, with Mr. Fuji, who yell a lot and scare Trebek a bit. Trebek tries to turn it into something Jeopardy-ish and the yelling gets has him throwing it back to Regis.

Regis tries to talk to Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitao about their match but can only use Japanese company names. They want to know where Kathy Lee (the co-host of his talk show) is and it doesn’t go well.

Jake Roberts and Damien scare Trebek off. Roberts tells Damien that he’ll have to settle for the home version of Jeopardy.

Those four segments? They were really, really bad.

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

This is Crush/Smash, with Mr. Fuji, in the very last try to push the team as meaning anything. Tenryu and Kitao are here as part of a partnership with Tenryu’s SWS promotion. Demolition jumps Kitao to start but Kitao knees Crush against the ropes. A distraction lets Smash get in a shot from behind though and Demolition takes over. Crush hits a top rope ax handle to the back as the fans aren’t exactly interested here. Kitao gets over for the tag off to Tenryu, who misses a top rope elbow. The Demolition Decapitator is loaded up but Kitao makes a save. Tenryu enziguris Smash and a powerbomb gives Tenryu the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. Call it a style clash, call it Demolition being worthless at this point or call it the WWF not getting why this would be a bad idea, but this really did not work in any sense. The Ax/Smash version of Demolition was great, but the Crush/Smash version was Demolition in name only. This was more or less it for Demolition and based on this, that is the best thing for everyone involved.

Big Boss Man is tired of Bobby Heenan talking about his mama and has run through the Heenan Family. Now Mr. Perfect, and the Intercontinental Title, are all that’s left.

Bobby Heenan references the Rodney King beating and promises you’ll see something similar when Mr. Perfect beats up the Big Boss Man.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Boss Man is challenging after spending months beating up the rest of the Heenan Family (Rick Rude was originally going to be included but he left the company in the fall). Alfred Hayes is joining commentary to replace Heenan, who is in Perfect’s corner. Boss Man catches Perfect’s towel and cleans himself off with it, much to Perfect’s annoyance. Perfect gets knocked around as the beating is on, including Perfect charging into a boot in the corner.

There’s the big toss over the top and you know Perfect is going to take a huge bump off that one. Back in and Boss Man takes off his belt, only to have Perfect take him away and start hammering him down. Some shots to the back keep Boss Man in trouble and we hit the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, a good looking dropkick gives Perfect two and the neck snap makes it worse.

The PerfectPlex is countered into a small package for two but Perfect knocks him down again. Perfect goes up and dives onto a raised boot, setting up the ram into the buckle for another huge Perfect bump. Boss Man crotches him against the post but a Heenan distraction lets Perfect send him into the steps.

With the numbers advantage causing issues, Andre the Giant (oh boy) comes out to….well it’s not exactly even but it definitely changes things. As you might expect, Heenan panics so Perfect goes after Andre, who smacks him in the face with the Intercontinental Title. A VERY delayed cover gets two and here are Haku and Barbarian to jump Boss Man for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C. There was a lot going on here but I still don’t get why Boss Man didn’t win the title. That would seem to be the most obvious ending but instead it just goes nowhere, with Boss Man getting the “feel good” win. Perfect very easily could have wont he title back a month or so later, but at least we got one more Andre appearance where he looked somewhat mobile.

Gene Okerlund interviews……Donald Trump, who hopes to have Wrestlemania back in Atlantic City. Chuck Norris is here too, and thinks the wrestlers are great athletes, even name dropping Argentina Rocca of all people. Henry Winkler is happy the Ultimate Warrior won. Lou Ferrigno finds this really entertaining. I need a Christmas special where those four get together and save Santa Claus.

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. This is my regular chance to ask what the heck the WWF was thinking by making Valentine a good guy around this time. Earthquake starts fast and hits an early powerslam for two as the dominance seems to be on. Valentine avoids a charge in the corner and slowly hammers away. A running elbow to the head actually puts Earthquake down on one knee and a middle rope version actually knocks him down. The Figure Four is blocked and Hart offers a distraction, allowing Earthquake to drop the elbow. The Earthquake finishes Valentine at 3:17.

Rating: D+. The match was fine enough and Valentine got in some offense, but there is only so much that you can get out of this situation. Earthquake cleaned Valentine out and beat him without much effort. I’m still not sure who saw Valentine as a good guy but to call it a flop would be too kind.

The Legion of Doom promise to make Power And Glory sour and gory. That’s a heck of a line.

Legion of Doom vs. Power And Glory

Slick is here with Power And Glory. The Doomsday Device finishes Roma at 58 seconds and the LOD wants the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase. Virgil had been mistreated for years and FINALLY snapped at the Royal Rumble after a tag match with DiBiase. Roddy Piper has been supporting Virgil, despite Piper being in a horrible motorcycle accident that has left him barely able to walk at the moment.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Roddy Piper is here with Virgil, who punches DiBiase outside to start. With DiBiase back inside, Virgil punches him right back to the floor. Back in again and DiBiase gets clotheslined to the floor as the frustrations continue. A slower DiBiase gets back inside and this time a few shots slow Virgil down.

The beating is on, including a piledriver for two as commentary talks about how big of a show this has been. A suplex drops Virgil again and DiBiase heads outside to deck Piper. Back in and a powerslam gives DiBiase two but Piper uses his crutch to low bridge DiBiase to the floor. DiBiase goes after Piper but gets counted out at 7:42.

Rating: C-. As has been said, the problem with Virgil is that there just wasn’t anything there in the ring. His punches were his best weapon, as other than that, he was as generic as you could get. Getting the win over DiBiase was a nice moment, but they didn’t exactly make it feel like a big deal. It would have been too much to see Virgil pin him, but this wasn’t exactly thrilling.

Post match DiBiase goes after Piper’s knee again, with Sherri running in to help with the beating. Some crutch shots to the knee have Piper in trouble but Virgil gets up for the save. Piper is in agony but Virgil tells him to get up. Then Piper gets up with Virgil’s help.

Sean Mooney sends us to a recap of Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan. Slaughter has been playing by a new set of rules, including burning a Hulk Rules shirt. Adnan and Slaughter come in, with Adnan ranting a lot before we look at Slaughter jumping Hogan recently. Slaughter threatens to get himself disqualified or counted out in the main event. It doesn’t help that Slaughter getting disqualified or counted out was his best chance to retain the title.

Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Just in case the show hasn’t gone on long enough yet. Santana knocks him outside to start and hammers away back inside but Jimmy Hart slips Mountie the shock stick. One electrocution (and a joke about bad Mexican food from Heenan) and Santana is done at 1:21. This might be the all time definition of needless filler.

Hulk Hogan promises to use secret weapons to win the WWF Title. And no, a beating from Sgt. Slaughter isn’t slowing him down.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter, with General Adnan, is defending, Marla Maples is the guest timekeeper, Alex Trebek is the guest ring announcer and Regis Philbin is on commentary. Hogan chases Adnan and Slaughter around to start before Slaughter even takes the belt off. We then pause for Slaughter to get ready before hitting the stall button for a bit longer. They lock up (accidentally knocking the referee down) and slaughter is sent into the corner.

Back up and Hogan runs him over with a shoulder, sending the champ outside. Slaughter grabs a chair but Hogan is waiting for him. Instead they head back inside, where Slaughter pokes him in the eye to take over. Heenan has to explain some of the backstory to Regis as Hogan slugs away to put Slaughter in the corner. Some rams into the buckle keep Slaughter in trouble as this isn’t exactly thrilling so far.

There’s a backdrop to Slaughter and a running knee sends him into the corner again. A catapult into the corner sets up the raining down right hands but Slaughter knocks a diving Hogan out of the air. Hogan shrugs that off and drops a bunch of elbows before going to the top (oh dear) where Adnan’s distraction lets Slaughter slam him down. Now a chair to the back can keep Hogan down on the floor, followed by the slow beating back inside.

Slaughter complains about the speed of a two count and the referee yells right back. The Boston crab goes on, all of four inches from the rope, so Hogan tries to power out anyway. With that not working, Hogan grabs the rope to escape, which feels pretty out of character. Some knees to the back set up a top rope knee to the back but for some reason Adnan distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to kick out.

A chair to the head busts Hogan open so Slaughter pounds away on the head and grabs the camel clutch. Hogan powers up again and escapes but Slaughter sends him into the corner. Slaughter puts the Iraqi flag onto Hogan and that’s enough for the Hulk Up. Said flag is destroyed and Hogan throws the punches, setting up the big boot and leg to get the title back at 20:22. Monsoon: “The war is now officially over.”

Rating: C+. The problem here is that it isn’t a bad match, but it might be the most obvious result in the history of….well perhaps human kind. Desert Storm was already over so this was just a formality, as Slaughter was a short form champion from the second he won the belt. Hogan did his normal match here, albeit a bit longer than usual, and the Hulk Up was short even by his standards. It’s completely fine, but with the war already over, it was nowhere near the feel good, special moment they were hoping it would be.

Hogan poses and waves the American flag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a show that has good pieces but DESPERATELY needed to be trimmed down. Would anyone have missed Earthquake vs. Valentine, Santana vs. Mountie or Von Erich vs. Bravo? The main event is on the lower end of Wrestlemania main events and the celebrity stuff is horrid. At the same time, Warrior vs. Savage is a classic and there is some other good stuff in there, but they really needed to cut this down by at least thirty minutes to get rid of some of the drag.

 

Ratings Comparison

Rockers vs. Haku/Barbarian

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: B
2023 Redo: C+

Texas Tornado vs. Dino Bravo

Original: F
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

British Bulldog vs. Warlord

Original: B-
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C-
2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation

Original: C-
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel

Original: F
2013 Redo: F
2015 Redo: F-
2023 Redo: D

Undertaker vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2023 Redo: A-

Genichiro Tenryu/Koji Kitao vs. Demolition

Original: W (For What were they thinking)
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D-
2023 Redo: D

Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C

Earthquake vs. Greg Valentine

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: F+
2015 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Power and Glory

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D+
2023 Redo: C-

The Mountie vs. Tito Santana

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2023 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C+
2023 Redo: C-

Overall Rating

Original: C
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: B-
2023 Redo: C-

I’ve really come down on this one over the years and other than maybe boosting up Savage vs. Warrior a bit more, I’m not sure how I had some of those earlier ratings.

Here is the original if you’re interested:

The 2013 Edition:

And the 2015 Edition:http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/16/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-vii-no-that-isnt-a-tear-in-my-eye/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




WrestleMania VI (2025 Edition): Professional Wrestling At Its Finest

Wrestlemania VI
Date: April 1, 1990
Location: SkyDome, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 67,678
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
O Canada: Robert Goulet

We’ll look at one more Wrestlemania after this year’s season ends thanks to the WWE Vault. This is one of the most famous Wrestlemania main events of all time with The Ultimate Challenge as Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior, title for title. That’s about all you have on the show but…well what else do you need? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is one of the all time best, with Vince McMahon showing various constellations in space, eventually stopping on Hulk Hogan and the Ultimate Warrior, because this is ALL Wrestlemania was built around.

Robert Goulet sings O Canada.

Koko B. Ware vs. Rick Martel

The ring carts are back! Martel jumps him during the weapons check and hammers away but Ware is back with a middle rope crossbody. Some dropkicks have Martel in trouble and a backdrop makes it worse. Ware gets low bridged out to the floor and it’s a suplex for two back inside. The Boston crab is blocked (in the Coliseum Video, that was clipped to the finish, assuming you ignore Ware being nowhere near where he was for the submission when the hold was put on) and Ware fights up but the comeback is cut off as Ware misses a crossbody. Now the Boston crab can finish Ware off at 5:30.

Rating: C. Not much to see here but a Canadian heel gets to win so the fans won’t be overly annoyed. It’s still strange to see a cold match on Wrestlemania but there’s nothing wrong with what we got here. Ware is a perfectly serviceable star and Martel is still criminally underrated, so it’s not like this was going to be bad. Uneventful maybe, but not bad.

Gene Okerlund is with the Colossal Connection (Haku/Andre The Giant) but calls them the Colostomy Connection. This leads to a series of puns but the gist is they’ll beat Demolition.

Demolition is ready to chop down the Colossal Connection. Threats of shouting TIMBER are issued, while Smash would rather put the champs in the back of a truck and throw them off a cliff. Dude it’s a wrestling match. Stop threatening to murder them.

Tag Team Titles: Colossal Connection vs. Demolition

The Connection, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and don’t get an entrance. It’s almost like that’s just not a big deal and is a nice way to shave off a bit of time. The champs jumps them before the start and it’s Haku officially starting with Smash. They slug it out with Smash taking over and grabbing an early neck crank. Ax comes in for some shots of his own before it’s back to Smash for a battle over a backslide.

With that going nowhere, it’s back to Ax, who gets hit in the throat and caught in a backbreaker for two. Some chops have Ax in more trouble, to the point where he staggers over to Andre, who decks him as well. Haku strikes him down again and then sends him into Andre’s head, which is quite the smart move. Another comeback is cut off with a poke to the eyes and we go to a wide shot of the stadium and dang it looks awesome.

The nerve hold goes on to keep Ax in trouble but he fights up, only to get choked down by Andre again. Ax manages to fight up and gets in a knockdown, which is FINALLY enough for the tag off to Smash. Everything breaks down and Andre gets double teamed into the corner. Haku superkicks Andre by mistake though and he gets tied up in the ropes. A double clothesline and the Demolition Decapitator gives us new champions at 9:10. Andre never tagged in.

Rating: C+. This was a glorified handicap match, with Haku literally wrestling the entire match with Andre only coming in at the beginning and end. It was clear that Andre was at the end of his run but there was still something to be said about having a giant like that standing around. Demolition getting the titles back got a heck of a reaction too, as it was quite the moment.

Post match Andre is still staggered but Heenan LOSES HIS EVER LOVING MIND by yelling at Andre and slapping him in the face. Andre punches Heenan in the face, beats up Haku for daring to defending Heenan and then knocks both of them out of the ring cart (I’ve always loved that), allowing him to ride away to one final hero’s sendoff.

Jimmy Hart thinks there is going to be an earthquake in Toronto. I mean, there already is one next to him but I get the idea.

Hercules vs. Earthquake

Jimmy Hart is here with Earthquake. Hercules hammers away but can only knock Earthquake into the corner. A test of strength has Hercules down on his knees and Earthquake drops him again. Back up and some running shoulders and clotheslines stagger Earthquake but ever the moron, Hercules tries a torture rack. The ensuing collapse sets up an elbow into the Earthquake to finish Hercules at 4:56.

Rating: C. This was about all you could have expected from this match and it went completely ok. At the end of the day, there is only so much Hercules can do with a monster, especially with Hulk Hogan being up next for Earthquake. You don’t want to see Hercules throw him around and Earthquake looks all the more dominant. The key thing here was to keep it short, and it worked better as a result. Hercules would turn heel and form Power & Glory pretty soon.

Rona Barrett (celebrity interviewer) talks to Miss Elizabeth, who says she’ll be back around more frequently in the near future. Not really, no.

Brutus Beefcake looks at Mr. Perfect’s record and is impressed, but he’s ready to trim it down.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

The Genius is here with Perfect. They slug it out in the corner to start with Beefcake knocking him out to the floor. Perfect needs a breather before coming back in to hammer away and take over. Beefcake sends him into the corner and comes back with a slam, followed by another whip into the corner. Naturally Perfect does a big bump, because that’s just what he does. With nothing else working, Genius slips Perfect the scroll for a cheap shot to take over. The Hennig necksnap gets two and Perfect slaps him a few times but Beefcake catapults him into the post for the pin out of absolutely nowhere at 7:48.

Rating: C+. This was a good match for Beefcake, who gets the big feather in his cap by giving Perfect his first loss. Beefcake really was crazy over at this point and was getting better in the ring. Then his face was destroyed in a few months and he just never recovered, which is a shame when you can see what he was doing here.

Post match Beefcake goes after the Genius (Perfect doesn’t seem to notice and leaves), setting up the sleeper and a haircut. The thing is Genius apparently wasn’t told this was going to happen (as apparently Pat Patterson only told Beefcake about the idea) so his flailing around and trying to get away was legitimate. It almost led to a fight backstage between Beefcake and Randy Savage before things calmed down.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown. They eliminated each other from the Royal Rumble and had a big fight to the back. Then Brown called it a skirt and of course it meant war.

Now we get to the reason why this match isn’t on Peacock, as Piper, in half Black face, calls himself Hot Rod and Hot Scot (complete with a bit of Billie Jean). Piper mocks Brown’s eyes, ears and nose (with the long hairs sticking out) before moving on to the biggest problem, which is Brown’s mouth. Piper is ready to shut it for Brown, but will it be Hot Rod or Hot Scot who does it? I have no idea how this was seen as a good idea but it’s as terrible as it sounds.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Brown doesn’t seem to understand what is up with the dual skin color thing and I’m not quite getting it either. They slug it out to start and the referee breaks it up, allowing Piper to hit a crossbody. Piper hammers away in the corner but gets staggered by a big headbutt. Some right hands put Piper down and we hit the nerve hold.

An elbow gives Brown two, with commentary getting on him about the lackadaisical cover. The turnbuckle pad is taken off but Piper sends him into it instead. It’s time to load up a glove and Piper knocks him down a few times, with the referee being fine with the whole thing. Brown bails to the floor and pulls Piper with him and it’s a double countout at 6:50.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t exactly good, but it’s remembered for reasons of WHAT WAS PIPER THINKING. I have no idea how this was approved and while I know things were a bit different back in 1990, it was just such a terrible idea. It doesn’t help that they didn’t have time to do anything, with the match wrapping up when it was just getting going. I mean, assuming the glove deal was something getting going.

The brawl continues and referees break it up as they go to the back.

Steve Allen (former Tonight Show host) is in a bathroom with a piano, where he can’t quite manage to play the Soviet national anthem. This is what we get for celebrities these days. And now did they get that piano in there?

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

The Bolsheviks do their singing and get jumped by the Harts to start fast. Volkoff is knocked to the floor and the Hart Attack finishes Zhukov at 19 seconds. Hart counting to three at the camera was a great touch. And now it’s time for the Harts to go after the Tag Team Titles.

Wrestlemania VII is coming to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Well maybe if they can get tickets to a game on their way to the Sports Arena.

Tito Santana is ready for the Barbarian.

Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian

Bobby Heenan is here with Barbarian, who Santana can’t drop to start. Barbarian runs him over instead and tries a powerbomb, only for Santana to punch his way out. Barbarian’s middle rope elbow misses though and Santana comes back with the flying forearm. Heenan puts the foot on the ropes like a good manager should, allowing Barbarian to get in a throat snap across the top. The top rope clothesline absolutely destroys Santana (in an awesome sell) for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: C+. Santana was trying here and Barbarian was perfectly capable of having this kind of a match. Barbarian got in his power stuff and looked impressive, but that clothesline is all people remember from the match. That’s for good reason too, as Santana sold the thing like death.

We recap Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri. It’s basically the men were feuding and the women got involved. Simple and to the point here.

Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire are ready to prove that they are better than royalty and promise the Crown Jewel. Great. Now we’re going to Saudi Arabia.

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri

Ventura has a big problem believing that Rhodes and Sapphire combine to weigh 465lbs, as Sapphire is at least 250. Rhodes and Sapphire do indeed have the Crown Jewel in the form of Miss Elizabeth, who comes to the ring as Savage loses his mind. The men start things off as commentary explains the rules, as this is a first time ever match in the WWF.

Sherri tries a cheap shot on Rhodes and gets pulled into the corner by Sapphire, leaving Ventura panicking over a camera shot from behind Sapphire. Rhodes pulls a diving Savage out of the air and it’s off to the women. Sapphire sends the villains into each other and airplane spins Sherri. Savage comes back in and gets his arms tied up, allowing Sapphire to get in a slap.

Back up and Savage sends him outside for a top rope ax handle, setting up Sherri for a knee to the gut. Sapphire comes over and gets thrown down, with Ventura being far too pleased. Back in and Savage hits a suplex, allowing Sherri to hit a top rope splash for two, already going against the rules of the match. Rhodes comes back in and elbows away at Savage before Sapphire comes back in to suplex Sherri. Elizabeth throws her back in and even gets in a shot to Sherri. Sapphire gets a rollup for the pin at 7:38.

Rating: C. They were very smart to keep Sapphire out of the ring save for a few fun spots and that’s the right way to go. At the end of the day, she wasn’t much of a wrestler but she wasn’t being presented as one so it’s not some big stretch. The match might not have been good, but it was certainly fun and that’s all you need at times.

Post match Savage tries a scepter shot but Rhodes takes it away. Savage manages to get his crown on as he runs off because he’s awesome that way. Dancing ensues.

Gene Okerlund asks Bobby Heenan where he has the “ba….the nerve” to hit Andre in the face. Heenan makes various threats and actually loses his train of thought, leaving him with a blank stare. Gene brings him back to reality and Heenan goes on a rant about starting a new Family (true actually). Ignore Heenan being all sweaty and disheveled due to the Andre thing, but looking perfectly fine for the Barbarian match in between them.

Rona Barrett suggests that Jesse Ventura has done an adult movie. Gorilla Monsoon is WAY too interested in this.

Randy Savage rants about mind games.

Demolition, who haven’t had a shower despite winning the titles an hour ago, are happy with their title win and they’re ready for the Hart Foundation.

Hulk Hogan says the power lies in his hand. Then when he gets Ultimate Warrior on his knees, he’ll ask if Warrior wants to live forever. The Hulkamaniacs can save him and bring him from the darkness into the light. Hogan says it doesn’t matter whether he wins or loses (there’s your red flag) because it’s about being a good winner or loser. Hopefully Warrior is a good loser.

Ultimate Warrior throws Sean Mooney out, saying he doesn’t deserve to breathe the same air as Warrior and Hogan. Warrior then goes on some rant about how no one can live forever but he wants to merge the Little Warriors and the Hulkamaniacs. Then he wants to bring Hogan to a new place where he has never been before. Dubuque, Iowa?

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Mr. Fuji is here with the Express. Jannetty knocks Tanaka down to start but Tanaka hits a superkick (close enough). The Rockers clear the ring and hit stereo dives (a big spot for 1990), with Fuji not being pleased in the slightest. Back in and the Express stomps away in the corner before Tanaka gives Michaels a gutbuster.

A spinning forearm cuts Michaels off again before Sato grabs a quickly broken nerve hold. Michaels fights up and brings in Jannetty as everything breaks down. Fuji offers a distraction though and Sato gets in some salt to Jannetty’s eyes. Jannetty even stumbles over the barricade (sounds like a normal night for Marty) and it’s a countout at 7:43.

Rating: C+. This is a match that should have been awesome but it was just mostly ok. Allegedly the Rockers were VERY hung over for the match and that’s probably the reason for a lot of the issues. That being said, it’s still a good match and they would have a much better match the following year at the Royal Rumble (subbing in Kato for Saito helped).

Steve Allen introduces Rhythm & Blues. Allen: “They have been called one of the greatest bands to come along in quite a long time. Unfortunately they are not here tonight so here are Rhythm & Blues.” Allen suggests that the Honky Tonk Man is similar to Elvis. As in Costello. More jokes ensue, including Valentine saying they’re going to the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Allen: “I’ll call them and warn them you’re coming.” Yeah it’s corny but Allen is funny enough.

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Duggan is waving the American flag (which is wrapped up to the point where you can’t see the stars at first) and Ventura points out how dumb that might be in Canada. Bravo has Earthquake and Jimmy Hart with him so this isn’t likely to go well. Duggan slugs away to start and Bravo is knocked outside.

Back in and Duggan hits an atomic drop before slugging away in the corner. Bravo fights back and drops a big elbow before sending Duggan face first into the buckle. Since there’s nothing there to hurt, it fires Duggan up but Bravo kicks him down again. Duggan fights up and makes the comeback so Earthquake offers a distraction. The 2×4 shot to the back gives Duggan the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. Good example of “what else were you expecting”, even with Earthquake out there for the likely post match beatdown. Duggan is such a goofy fun star and that was always his thing. It was certainly on display here and the match wasn’t any good, but it’s almost impossible to boo Duggan. Even with his flag issues aside of course.

Post match Earthquake drops Duggan and gives him two Earthquakes.

We recap Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase, which is a long running feud over Roberts stealing DiBiase’s money and the belt. Now the belt is on the line.

Roberts talks about how there are people who could use DiBiase’s money but he mocks and humiliates them. Now it’s time for DiBiase to be mocked and humiliated, a victim of his own greed.

Million Dollar Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is defending and has Virgil with him. They slug it out to start and Roberts tries an early DDT, sending DiBiase bailing out to the floor. They both miss elbows and DiBiase has to run from another pair of DDT attempts. Back in and Roberts works on a hammerlock, even managing to send DiBiase bailing out to the floor. DiBiase slowly gets back in and walks into a knee, only to avoid a running knee in the corner to leave Roberts down for a change.

The front facelock goes on as the fans do the Wave before they go outside, with Roberts getting posted. A piledriver gets a VERY delayed two, with even Ventura getting on DiBiase for taking so much time. The Million Dollar Dream goes on and Roberts finally falls into the ropes for the break.

DiBiase goes up but gets punched out of the air, allowing Roberts to start the comeback. Virgil offers a distraction though and Roberts goes outside to take care of him. The Million Dollar Dream goes on again outside, with Roberts sending him into the post. Virgil earns his pay though by sending DiBiase back inside to beat the count out 11:49.

Rating: C. For some reason, these two just could not have a good match if they tried. They’re a pair that should have made for solid matches up and down the circuit and it just never happened. That was the case again here, with the countout making things even worse than usual.

Post match DiBiase gets some money out so Roberts beats him up. Virgil bails with the belt but Roberts plants DiBiase with the DDT. Roberts gives away the money, including $100 to Mary Tyler Moore. Damien is loaded up but Virgil runs back in for a distraction and escapes.

Slick and Akeem (who can’t stop dancing) are ready for some revenge on the Big Boss Man.

The freshly turned Big Boss Man talks about how he isn’t going to take money from Ted DiBiase. He may be poor, but he’s proud.

Akeem vs. Big Boss Man

Boss Man’s sneer as he rides the ring cart to the ring is borderline terrifying. Hold on though as Ted DiBiase is still at ringside and jumps the Boss Man on the floor. So the match officially begins with Akeem hitting a splash, with Gorilla and Ventura arguing over interference. Apparently this is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than Elizabeth interfering earlier. Akeem hammers away in the corner but Boss Man knocks him out of the corner and makes the comeback. Some whips into the corner have Akeem in trouble and a clothesline puts him down. Boss Man hammers away and hits the Boss Man Slam for the pin at 1:51.

Sean Mooney talks to various fans about Rhythm & Blues sing. One fan: “I DON’T CARE!” He also talks to Mary Tyler Moore, who clearly has no idea what is going on and doesn’t care. Mooney: “She’ll always be Mary Richards to me.”

We get a rare production gaffe as the bell rings before Rhythm & Blues come to the ring to play their new song live. They come out in a pink Cadillac, complete with a totally unknown Diamond Dallas Page driving (it was his car). Monsoon dubs the girls in the car the Honkettes and Jesse LOSES IT for some reason. Anyway, they do indeed play Hunka Hunka Hunka Honky Love…until the Bushwhackers come out and wreck everything. Honky Tonk Man felt so useless after losing the Intercontinental Title (which was kind of the point) but Valentine trying so hard with this completely out of nowhere gimmick change is still amusing.

The official attendance: 67,678. Not bad.

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Bobby Heenan is here with Rude and Steve Allen is on commentary. Rude jumps him from behind and starts the big forearms to the back, only to miss a dropkick (not his most common move). Snuka gets in a few shots to the ribs and mocks Rude, only for Rude to slug him right back down. A poke to the eye cuts Snuka off again but he comes back with a flying headbutt. Snuka’s middle rope headbutt misses though and the Rude Awakening is good for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: C. Yeah this is something that probably should have been cut due to time, but this was important enough for the future. Rude’s hair was slicked back here to get rid of his goofy looking style and he won clean in the end. It wasn’t a memorable match in any way, but what mattered here was Rude feeling like a more serious star and they made it work well enough.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. the Ultimate Warrior. They went face to face in the Royal Rumble and it was the most amazing thing ever, as it was hard to imagine the match actually happening. The match was set up, Hogan saved Warrior from Earthquake, Warrior saved Hogan from Earthquake, and they had a mini feud with Mr. Perfect and the Genius. None of that stuff mattered though, because Hogan vs. Warrior was going to happen.

WWF Title/Intercontinental Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior

Title for title so they’re both defending. Warrior gets to run to the ring and that’s not likely to go well. Hogan walks (being the only two to not use the ring carts) and that imagine of Warrior doing his pose on the buckle is one of the first wrestling imagines I can ever remember. You don’t get to say this and actually mean it very often, but this is the definition of a split crowd. Both of them are cheered and the fans are giving no sign that one is more popular than the other. They take their belts off and do the staredown and my goodness you can feel the intensity.

They shove each other and pose before going to the test of strength with even Jesse saying this is totally even. Warrior gets him down to his knees and that is a game changer (Ventura: “WHO WOULD HAVE EVER THOUGHT!”) as the idea of a good guy being able to do that to Hogan was unthinkable. Hogan powers up to set the universe right and Warrior goes down for one of your famous shots from the match. Warrior starts to get up so Hogan trips him down and drops a leg for two.

They do the criss cross until Hogan hits a slam, with Warrior popping back up to scare Hogan to death. Back up and Warrior hits his own slam, with a bit more effect. A clothesline puts Hogan on the floor and he comes up holding up his knee. Warrior is smart to kick at the knee but Hogan tells the referee he’s getting back in, where Hogan suddenly forgets about the knee (it’s never brought up again) to make the quick comeback.

Hogan drops some elbows and we hit the front facelock as Warrior is blown up and needs a breather. A small package sets up a chinlock before Hogan hits a clothesline for two. The chinlock goes on again as they are barely able to hide that Warrior is in trouble. Some knees to the back (Monsoon: “Cervical vertebrae!” Ventura: “No Monsoon, IT’S THE BACK!”) set up another chinlock as we’re firmly in the middle of the match, though the crowd is still right there with them.

Back up and they hit a double clothesline, with Ventura accurately saying that Hogan should be in control still because he had done so much more damage. Warrior starts to shake the ropes for the comeback as he now has some more oxygen, meaning it’s time to whip Hogan into various corners. A bearhug has Hogan in trouble and we get two arm drops. Hogan punches his way to freedom and Warrior accidentally runs the referee over.

Back to back top rope ax handles stagger Hogan but he avoids the flying should to spike Warrior into the mat. That’s good for no count so Hogan gets up, with Warrior belly to back suplexing him to even the match at a visual pinfall apiece. The referee gets back up (if this had been modern wrestling, there would have been a ridiculous heel turn or interference and it would have been awful) to count some very delayed twos.

Warrior gets sent outside and Hogan gets sent into the post. The gorilla press into the Warrior Splash gets two as it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback is on and the big boot connects but the legdrop misses (GASP!). Warrior hits another quick splash for the pin and the title at 22:45, with Hogan kicking out at 3.01, because Warrior was just a hair better, but that’s all he needed to be.

Rating: A. This very well may be the greatest example of a match being elevated by the crowd. The match itself is good and a back and forth match which told a story, but the crowd turned it from a match to an event. Just watching these two go face to face felt special and it came off like the dawning of a new era. That era didn’t go so well, but the start of it was incredible. It’s not an all time classic wrestling match, but it’s professional wrestling at an incredibly high level and that is more than noteworthy.

Post match the referee gives Warrior the titles but we go tight on the Warrior so the referee can hand the WWF Title back to the Fink. That lets Hogan pick up the title and hand it over for the big hero moment. Hogan gets to leave and salutes Warrior as the pyro goes off and posing ensues. Even Ventura praises Hogan for the big sendoff in a moment you don’t often see.

Overall Rating: B. This show is really kind of astounding as it’s fondly remembered, but there is NOTHING on here but the main event. You have a few nice moments, but so many of the matches are completely forgettable if not downright skippable. They banked everything on Hogan vs. Warrior and luckily those two hit it so far out of the park that the ball wound up back in America. It’s a one match show, but my goodness what a match that is.

Results
Rick Martel b. Koko B. Ware – Boston crab
Demolition b. Colossal Connection – Demolition Decapitator to Haku
Earthquake b. Hercules – Earthquake
Brutus Beefcake b. Mr. Perfect – Slingshot into the post
Hart Foundation b. Bolsheviks – Hart Attack to Zhukov
The Barbarian b. Tito Santana – Top rope clothesline
Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire b. Randy Savage/Queen Sherri – Rollup to Sherri
Orient Express b. Rockers via countout
Ted DiBiase b. Jake Roberts via countout
Ultimate Warrior b. Hulk Hogan – Warrior Splash

Ratings Comparison

Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Demolition vs. Colossal Connection

Original: C-
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Earthquake vs. Hercules

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Brutus Beefcake vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C+

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Original: A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Barbarian vs. Tito Santana

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C+

Dusty Rhodes/Sapphire vs. Randy Savage/Sensational Sherri

Original: D-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Orient Express vs. Rockers

Original: C
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Jim Duggan vs. Dino Bravo

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D-
2025 Redo: C-

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C

Big Boss Man vs. Akeem

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: N/A
2015 Redo: N/A
2025 Redo: N/A

Rick Rude vs. Jimmy Snuka

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2015 Redo: A
2025 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: B

Geez it’s better than those previous reviews would have you believe. It’s not even a bad show and the main event is more than good enough to carry it.

 

 

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2nd Annual Battle Of The WWF Superstars: We Lost (Includes Full Video)

Battle Of The WWF Superstars II
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Host: Sean Mooney

This is another Coliseum Video and much like a good many of them, it really doesn’t have a theme. The previous edition was only notable for Sean Mooney doing a really bad Patton impression so hopefully they have something better this time around. You never can tell with these things though so let’s get to it.

This is from the summer of 1991.

We open with a preview of some WrestleFest 91. Randy Savage jumps in to say he’ll be hosting the tape, which wasn’t very good.

Sean Mooney is indeed the host again and the Patton stuff continues, thankfully without the voice.

We see Mooney driving up to meet his troops, promising them a lot of action.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Roddy Piper

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and this should be good. They take their time to start with Perfect spitting gum into Piper’s face, earning himself a beating out to the floor. The chase gets Perfect back inside so Piper puts the referee in the corner to start the fight. That has Perfect bailing out to the floor again before coming back inside to lose a slugout. Piper even grabs Perfect’s singlet to hold him in place for more right hands.

The singlet is ripped off, leaving Perfect in regular trunks for a weird look. Piper gets up for a double clothesline but can’t follow up, allowing Perfect to putt he singlet on again. Back up and Perfect starts choking before kicking away at the ribs. A dropkick puts Piper on the apron and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. That’ll be for later apparently as they go to the pinfall reversal sequence, before a kickout crushes the referee.

Piper is sent into the exposed buckle, allowing the PerfectPlex to (eventually) get two. Another ram into the buckle is blocked and they go outside, with Piper ramming him into the steps a few times. Piper finds a belt for some whipping but Perfect sends him into the barricade. Perfect goes up top but gets crotched back out to the floor, allowing Piper to beat the count for the win at 12:18.

Rating: B. This is a case where it wasn’t about the action, which was just ok, but rather having a hot crowd and playing along with them. Piper and Perfect knew exactly what to do here and it wound up working so well. Piper could got so much out of so little and when he had someone as good as Perfect to boost it up, things got even better. Very fun match here, even if it was mostly goofy.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning a fan requested it, and for once I can kind of believe that. Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys as Luke and Knobbs start things off. Knobbs bails into the corner to start and everything breaks down in a hurry. The brawl sees the Nastys cleared to the ring so whacking can ensue. Back in and Sags takes over on Butch to slow things down a bit. It’s quickly back to Luke and some Battering Rams clear the ring and it’s time to march.

We settle back down to Sags getting in a chair shot to Luke so the villains can actually take over for a change. Butch is drawn in, allowing some elbows to keep Luke down. The big elbow in the corner misses for Sags though and the tag brings Butch in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Luke makes a save, only for Sags to elbow Butch and give Knobbs the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D. And then we go back in the other direction with this drek. This was every bit as bad as you would have expected, with the Bushwhackers doing their comedy and the Nastys doing their best to sell it. The problem is neither team can do much other than brawling and this was more about the comedy, which made for a rough match.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is half of the Tag Team Champions at this point and it feels like these two fought a dozen times on Coliseum Video. Barbarian powers him down to start and kicks him in the head. Hart’s attempt at a comeback sees him tossed into the corner but he avoids the rope walk elbow. That lets Hart’s middle rope elbow connect and there’s the running clothesline for two more. Barbarian is right back with a powerslam before he blocks a piledriver. Instead he sits down on Hart and poses, allowing Hart to get the sunset flip for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C. You could more or less guarantee that was going to be the finish, if nothing else due to how many times they did the EXACT SAME THING. The match itself was fine, but what are you supposed to do with a match this short? This felt like “get Hart on the card on his own” more than anything else, which was fine.

And now, trivia, asked by wrestlers! Well some of them at least.

1. What was the official symbol for Hulk Hogan’s return against Earthquake?

2. What tag team was known as the “Pink & Black Attack?”

3. Why was the Big Boss Man mad at Bobby Heenan?

4. What is Mr. Perfect’s finishing move?

5. What caused Jake Roberts to lose his vision?

Not exactly tricky here.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Kato

Mr. Fuji and Tanaka are here too. Roberts is in some weird blue/yellow tights and that’s a very strange look for him. An early wristlock sends Kato bailing over to the ropes but Roberts stays on the arm, even lifting him up by said arm. Kato fights up and is elbowed in the face, followed by another takedown by the arm. The threat of the DDT sends Kato bailing out to the floor, only for his cheap shot to be cut off.

Another attempt at the DDT has Kato on the floor again but he’s back in a bit faster this time. Roberts runs into a knee in the corner and gets sent outside for a cane shot to the back. Tanaka gets in a shot of his own and Roberts finally gets back inside. Some left hands and the short clothesline drop Kato but Tanaka sneaks in to break up the DDT. The DDT connects a few seconds later but Tanaka comes in for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: D-. Freaking KATO? There is something to be said about protecting wrestlers, but not only was Kato beaten, but Roberts fought all three of them off and had the match won. This was a one sided match against a villain who was in way over his head and he can’t even take a fall. I have no idea what the thinking was here but there was no reason for it to go this way.

Post match Roberts fights the team off and chases Fuji to the back with the snake.

We get a profile on Jim Duggan, meaning the soldiers now have 2x4s.

We start with Duggan in a building made of wood, where he gives us a tour of his collection of 2x4s, one of which is autographed by people with wood related named (Woody from Cheers, James Woods and the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra). Ok that’s at least clever.

From New York City, New York, March 15, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Non-title flag match and General Adnan and Hulk Hogan (in camouflage) are here too. Duggan slugs away to start and Slaughter is down in the corner early. Actually we’ll make that out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and they lock up, with Slaugher backing him against the ropes. That earns him a big shove and the right hands, which Duggan always made look good.

Slaughter manages to get in a kick to the face though and some choking on the ropes has Duggan in more trouble. Duggan slugs up again but gets caught in a sleeper to slow him back down. That’s only good for two arm drops before Duggan gets up and sends Slaughter into the buckle. Slaughter knocks him down again and actually goes up for a top rope knee. Hogan even gets jumped from behind, which is enough to let Slaughter go up again but get shoved down for the crash.

Hogan and Adnan just come on in, with Slaughter going outside to beat on Hogan some more. Some cable choking has Hogan down and now it’s back inside for some knee drops to Duggan. The camel clutch goes on so Adnan gets on the apron for the sole purpose of allowing Hogan to hit Slaughter with the board. Duggan eventually gets up and covers Slaughter, which draws in Adnan for the save and DQ at 14:12, because after everything else before that was fine.

Rating: C-. The match itself wasn’t good, but the heat did help a lot. At the same time, it’s rather clear that Hogan is going to win for America at Wrestlemania and Slaughter didn’t even get to look strong here. It was a long match and did feel important, but there was no hiding the fact that Slaughter was on borrowed time and everyone knew it even more this match.

Post match Slaughter and Adnan beat up Hogan and Duggan, allowing them to wave the Iraqi Flag. Slaughter leaves but forgets the title, with Adnan coming back to get it and….yep that’s going to be a beating for him. At least the American flag is waved. Wrestlemania was in 9 days so America would be avenged soon enough.

Duggan goes to a lumber yard to get some fresh 2x4s. And yes, the man who cuts his wood is named Woody. And yes, we watch the board be cut.

From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, April 16, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Smash

Mr. Fuji is here with Smash, who was mostly a singles wrestler at this point. They take their time to start, with Duggan of course knowing how to play to the crowd to keep them going. Smash backs him into the corner but gets clotheslined down a few times. The third sends him outside but he comes back in to take over on Duggan in the corner.

Some forearms in the corner set up a neck crank, followed by a legdrop for two. We’re back to the neck crank, which allows Duggan to fight up and slug away in the corner. That means Duggan gets to tell the referee to LAY OFF MY BACK, as was his custom. Fuji’s distraction doesn’t work and it’s the three point clothesline to finish Smash at 6:11.

Rating: C-. Well at least Duggan got the pin. It was just over Smash, who was kind of hanging around until he got something fresh at this point, but at least Duggan got the win. That’s not much of a focus on Duggan, but that’s oddly the case with a lot of these Coliseum Video profiles, which was always a weird way to go.

Mooney is lost but finds his way to the next match.

From Ft. Wayne, Indiana, October 30, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Queen Sherri, is challenging and this is a dark match from after the fourth Main Event. Warrior runs in, clotheslines him down, hits the usual, and it’s the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 1:32. Warrior didn’t even have his face painted and commentary pointed out that something had to be wrong with Savage.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Ted DiBiase vs. Tugboat

Ok then. DiBiase tries to jump him to start but gets clotheslined outside instead. Back in and a rake to the eyes just makes Tugboat mad so he whips DiBiase into some corners. DiBiase needs a timeout on the floor and comes back in to get elbowed in the face. The elbow drop misses for Tugboat and DiBiase bails again, this time with Tugboat giving chase.

That goes as well as you would expect, with DiBiase catching him on the way back inside. Some choking has Tugboat down again and they go outside, with DiBiase choking against the barricade. Tugboat manages to post him and they go back inside for some splashes in the corner. DiBiase gets in a shot of his own and tries the Million Dollar Dream, which is broken up rather quickly. Tugboat misses a charge into the corner though and DiBiase gets a rollup for the clean pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. Another rather lame match as Tugboat is the biggest example of “I liked him when I was a kid but wow he does not hold up.” There’s just nothing to him here and DiBiase had nothing to work with, which is why they got out of there pretty quickly. The change to Typhoon would help, but there was only so much that Tugboat in any form was going to be able to do.

Mooney uses binoculars to see….the Tag Team Match Of The Month logo. Are we sure that’s not a Viewmaster?

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Power & Glory/Warlord vs. British Bulldog/Legion Of Doom

Slick is here with the villains. Hawk glares around a lot to start before punching Roma in the face a few times. The top rope clothesline misses though and Roma stomps away in the corner. Something resembling a dropkick sends Roma outside, where he actually takes over. Back in and Roma hits a much better looking dropkick but Hawk pops back up with a neckbreaker.

Animal and Warlord come in for the power off, with an exchange of shoulders going to a standoff. Animal’s flying clothesline (which almost goes over the head) drops Warlord and it’s off to Hercules for a clothesline of his own. Bulldog comes in and gets knocked down as well, with Warlord adding the elbow drops. Warlord ducks his head so Bulldog can get in a leapfrog but Roma cuts off a powerslam attempt. The villains take turns stomping on Bulldog until Warlord gets most of a full nelson. Bulldog starts to power out and everything breaks down….for a double DQ at 7:17.

Rating: D+. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Power & Glory were about to lose to the LOD in less than a minute at Wrestlemania but they can’t do a job here in a six man tag off a fluke rollup or something? After the rest of this wretched tape, you would think we could have one more actual win for the good guys but nah, let’s just keep doing weak stuff like this to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up and is driven away in a jeep (or tank, according to HHH), but isn’t pleased with his driver’s abilities. Yeah seriously that’s all they have for the big closing. You’re surprised?

Overall Rating: D. Piper vs. Perfect aside, this was one of the worst tapes I can remember coming from Coliseum Video. It’s one pitiful match after another with people not being able to take a pin for whatever reason, despite this being released months later. Some of these finishes actually had me getting mad, which came after seeing some of what we were watching (Roberts vs. Kato actually being booked is amazing in its own right). Absolutely horrible stuff here, though Piper vs. Perfect is definitely worth a look.

 

 

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Battle Of The WWF Superstars: Exactly. What? (Includes Full Video)

Battle Of The WWF Superstars
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Hillbilly Jim
Host: Sean Mooney

This is a Coliseum Video from around 1990, which is quite the fun time from the company. I remember seeing this in the video store as a kid so I’m sure I’ve seen it a few times before, though I don’t remember a single thing about it. That often makes for the best possible option as I’m basically coming into it blind. Just please don’t be bad. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show, which has a theme of war, meaning Mooney is in camouflage and a helmet. He hopes we need to avoid the agony of defeat and runs down the card (in what sounds like a Patton impression).

Rhythm And Blues (with Jimmy Hart) promise a lot of singing, dancing and guitaring.

The Bushwhackers say….oh pretty much exactly what you would expect them to say about Rhythm And Blues.

From New York City, New York, April 30, 1990.

Rhythm And Blues vs. Bushwhackers

Jimmy Hart is here as well. Luke (still in his hat) works on Honky Tonk Man’s arm to start as commentary tries to figure out how the Bushwhackers are related. Honky Tonk Man fights back and ax handles Luke on the ropes, only to get ax handled in the back. Butch makes things serious by going after Honky Tonk Man’s hair before grabbing the mic and calling him GREASEBALL. Or is he talking about Valentine?

Either way the villains go to leave but Hart (in an Earthquake jacket rather than a Rhythm And Blues jacket) calls them back. Valentine comes back in to elbow Luke down and it’s time for some strutting. Butch comes back in for some double clotheslines and it’s time for more whacking. Honky Tonk Man takes Butch into the corner though and it’s time to start the slow beating but we get the nearly required heel collision. Monsoon: “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make a duck out of him.” Heenan: “Exactly. What?”

A clothesline puts Luke down though and it’s time to take turns with various forearms. Honky Tonk Man’s fist drop sets up the chinlock, with Butch getting to play cheerleader. Valentine tries to come in to cut off the comeback but hits Honky Tonk Man by mistake. Butch comes in to clean house and everything breaks down, with Luke chasing Honky Tonk Man to the back with a chair. Unfortunately Valentine is the only one left in the ring and the Bushwhackers are counted out at 13:03.

Rating: D+. One of the points of a tag match starting things off is to have some fun, usually in a fast paced style. Instead, this went long, wasn’t any good, and ended with a lame countout. It’s not like this was some red hot feud or anything. You really didn’t have a Rockers match laying around somewhere instead?

Post match Valentine beats on Butch some more until Luke makes the save with the chair. Of note, Hart celebrating the win is one of the reasons he was so good at his job. In theory, Hart should be especially happy because his team won and therefore they get more money. That’s a logical reaction for him and he sold it perfectly.

Mooney explains the tournament (that voice he’s doing is getting really annoying) for the vacant Intercontinental Title, as Ultimate Warrior had to vacate the belt after winning the WWF Title. We skip the first two rounds and arrive at the finals.

From Austin Texas, April 23, 1990. This is the tournament final, which of course was taped one day before the last match of the first round. Wrestling is weird.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Tito Santana

For the vacant title and commentary argues about who would be the favorite. Ventura: “You and I come from different sides of the street.” That’s one way to put it. Perfect grabs an early waistlock so Santana elbows him in the face, much to Ventura’s annoyance. They go to the mat with Santana working on the arm, which Ventura says is Perfect testing how far Santana will go with the rule breaking.

Santana knocks him outside before throwing him back inside for the slingshot shoulder. The armbarring continues, with even Ventura admitting that it’s a nice one. That’s broken up so they run the ropes, with Perfect tripping him out to the floor for a crash. Naturally this leads to an argument over whether that was luck or skill, because that’s what Ventura and McMahon would do.

A quick sunset flip gives Santana two so Perfect clotheslines him neck first into the ropes (ouch). Santana is fine enough to crotch him on the post and wrap the leg around the post. Back in and Santana starts on the leg, including wrapping it around the rope. Cue Bobby Heenan as Santana tries the Figure Four, which is reversed into a small package for two. Heenan even gets on the apron for a distraction and a small package gives Perfect the pin and the title at 7:31.

Rating: B-. Shockingly, two talented wrestlers have a good match, with the stakes making it all the better. Perfect was a great choice for the title, as he had been built up for a long time and needed something to cement him as a star. At the same time, Santana was the ideal choice for him to beat, as he was just good enough to feel like a serious threat to take the title as well.

Post match Perfect introduces Heenan as his new champion. Why he has an old tag belt instead of the Intercontinental Title isn’t clear.

Dusty Rhodes talks about his daughter laying her head on his chest and hearing the heartbeat of America. You might want to get that checked.

From New York City, New York, February 19, 1990.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Akeem

Sapphire and Slick are here too, with Sapphire knocking him out to the floor before the bell. Akeem backs him into the corner to start and gets elbowed in the head, meaning it’s time for both of them to gyrate a bit. The threat of another elbow drops Akeem, with Rhodes laughing at the idea that he didn’t even have to hit Akeem.

Back in and another elbow sends Akeem into the ropes, with the arms getting tied up. Akeem knocks him down as well though and a nerve hold goes on. As Heenan continues to rant about Sapphire not being a manager, Slick gets in a cheap shot on Rhodes, allowing Akeem to elbow Rhodes in the back of the head (Rhodes: “OH S***!”).

Rhodes fights out of another nerve hold and gets in some less than great looking right hands in the corner. Akeem’s bearhug doesn’t last long and Rhodes start elbowing, with Sapphire cutting Slick off. Akeem gets a lot more evil by going after Sapphire, with Slick shoving her as well. The dancing Slick knees Akeem by mistake though and Rhodes beats the count at 9:03.

Rating: C-. Ok so the match wasn’t great, but Rhodes was doing his thing and the managers were running around on the floor for the sake of some humor. That’s all this needed to be and while it wasn’t good, it was entertaining enough. Rhodes was hardly a great star in the ring, but he knew what he was doing out there every single time.

Rhodes, in an apron with no shirt underneath, is at a butcher shop. We see various meat and that’s it. Rhodes: “You sure can’t beat my meat.”

From Fresno, California, August 9, 1989.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Boss Man

Slick is here with Boss Man but this is the pre-Sapphire days. They circle each other a bit to start with Boss Man shoving him down. Rhodes is right back up with a knockdown of his own but an elbow drop misses. The neck crank doesn’t last long and Rhodes is back up with the elbow to the head. The big elbow drop connects but Slick comes in for the DQ at 2:56. Why did they even include this?

Post match the beatdown is on but Rhodes fights back, steals the nightstick and hat, and kidnaps Slick. Boss Man’s response to this is to yell a lot while standing in the ring.

Rhodes is now at a stable and shovels manure, which he calls “fuel”.

From Phoenix, Arizona, February 13, 1990.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Queen Sherri is here with Savage while Rhodes has Sapphire. Rhodes knocks Savage to the floor and the women argue, allowing Savage to come right back in and jump him to start fast. Savage knocks him into the corner to start but makes the mistake of going after Sapphire, meaning it’s time for the early elbows. Rhodes gets knocked outside though and it’s the top rope ax handle to the head back inside.

The chinlock doesn’t last long so Savage sends him outside again for another ax handle. Rhodes starts shaking his head though and that’s never a good sign. Sherri gets in a few shots so Rhodes goes after her, allowing Savage to get in a cheap shot to take over again. That’s enough of a distraction for Savage to get in a shot with the loaded purse for two so Sherri offers a distraction.

Savage’s choking triggers the Hulk Up (with Rhodes even putting his hands on his hips while on his knees for a funny visual) and Rhodes sends him crashing into the corner. Sherri decks Sapphire to little avail as Sapphire is back up to steal the loaded purse. Savage is knocked out to the floor for a ridiculously fast countout at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was about as basic of a version of their match as you could get, as that purse was in there almost every time. It wasn’t like you were watching this match for the quality, but Rhodes was never exactly one to burn up the mat in the WWF. The match made sense on paper, but the execution wasn’t quite working.

Post match Rhodes tells Sherri, who he calls a “street walker” to get her “a**” in the ring if she wants some of Rhodes’ brown sugar (meaning Sapphire). And of course Sapphire drops her in a hurry.

Alfred Hayes shows us a sped up video of an arena being set up for a WWF show, going all the way to the opening bell. Of note: he says they’re in Binghamton, New York, where “no less than 20,000 fans” will be here. That arena holds a capacity of 7,200 people and at one point in 1990, the WWF reportedly drew 2,300 to a house show in the arena. What a liar.

It’s time for the Fan Favorite Match, meaning a fan requested this match.

From New York City, New York, January 15, 1990.

The Genius vs. Jim Neidhart

The lying is spreading around here as there is no way this match was requested. Genius gets to prance a bit to start and throws in a cartwheel, plus a standing backflip. They finally lock up and Genius is shoved down with ease. Neidhart shoves him down again and Genius blames a non-existent hair pull. Genius has an idea and tries to shove Neidhart away, only to fall flat on his face in a funny bit.

Neidhart knocks him to the floor, gets annoyed at Genius’ cartwheel, and throws him out again. The chase goes to the Genius, who catches Neidhart with a dropkick on the way back in. Genius punches away but a running crossbody gives Neidhart a quick two. A knockdown lets Genius go up but his moonsault hits raised knees. Genius charges into a boot in the corner and the chase is on outside. Cue Mr. Perfect with a scroll shot to the head to give Genius the pin at 9:20.

Rating: C+. This was little more than a comedy match for the most part, with Genius playing well into his strengths. That’s something he did well for his entire time in the WWF and it worked again here. Neidhart was fine as a foil and having Perfect cheat to cost him the match worked. They didn’t overthink this and it went fine as a result.

From New York City, New York, December 28, 1989.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

No DQ and Virgil is barred from ringside. DiBiase bails outside to start before going back inside for a quickly broken lockup. Roberts snaps off the left hands and the big right hand puts DiBiase on the floor for an early breather. Back in and Roberts starts in on the arm with a variety of crankings to put DiBiase down. Roberts lifts him up by the arm before grabbing a hammerlock on the mat. DiBiase reverses into one of his own, which is broken up just as fast.

An elbow sends DiBiase back to the floor, where it’s time to hold his arm for a bit. Back in and Roberts is right back to the arm as this is going about as well as most of their matches. DiBiase fights to his feet and gets taken down back down, meaning they get to lay around for more arm work. Roberts gets knocked into the ropes, with his eyes getting tied up, allowing DiBiase to slowly hammer away.

A swinging neckbreaker stays on the neck (that DiBiase previously injured) and a piledriver lets DiBiase gloat before getting two. Naturally we hit the chinlock as I try to figure out why they bothered with the No DQ. Maybe they have something else, but we’re over twelve minutes into this and there has been nothing that makes the stipulation necessary. The comeback is cut off with a quick clothesline, meaning more stalling can ensue. The chinlock goes on again for awhile, with DiBiase covering for two.

A middle rope ax handle misses though and they go outside, with the chase allowing Roberts to hit a running knee lift. Roberts slugs away…and charges into a knee in the corner to slow things right back down. The Million Dollar Dream goes on but Roberts falls into the ropes. That means Roberts crashes out to the floor, where he pulls a yelling DiBiase shoulder first into the post. Back in and Roberts actually goes aerial (!) for a middle rope knee and there’s the short arm clothesline. The DDT finishes DiBiase clean at 18:37.

Rating: D. It was long, it was boring, and there was absolutely no need for the No DQ rule. Other than maybe the posting near the end (and that’s a huge stretch), they did nothing that stood out in any way. These two had all kinds of matches against each other but for some reason it always wound up going this way. Just more boring stuff here and it felt like it went on forever.

Post match Roberts grabs the Million Dollar Title but now Virgil shows up to take it back.

And now, trivia!

What was the first match at Wrestlemania I?

Who sang the National Anthem at Wrestlemania I?

How much weight did Dino Bravo bench press?

Wrestlemania II was held in which three cities?

Who was the female co-host in each city?

What was the record-setting attendance at Wrestlemania III?

What is the name of Sean Mooney’s identical twin brother?

Who did Randy Savage beat to win the WWF Title at Wrestlemania IV?

Who returned to the WWF on the Brother Love Show at Wrestlemania V?

What rank did Sean Mooney have on this tape?

Eh I’ve heard weaker tests.

From Lacrosse, Wisconsin, May 15, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Mr. Perfect

Only Warrior is defending and Perfect bails outside for his entrance, which is probably not a bad idea. Perfect tries to jump him from behind but gets tossed outside without much trouble. The beating goes outside until Warrior brings him back in for the big running shoulders. It works so well that they do it again, followed by Warrior sending him face first into the buckle, with Perfect clearly doing all of the work.

The Warrior Splash misses though and Perfect kicks him in the ribs a few times, followed by some chops on the floor. Back in and a middle rope fist to the jaw doesn’t even knock Warrior down. Something like a top rope double stomp to a standing Warrior (even commentary didn’t think it looked good) drops him but the PerfectPlex gets two. The shoulders and Splash retain the title at 5:53.

Rating: D. What was that? You show Perfect winning the title an hour and a half ago and he loses in a short match here where his finisher doesn’t work. Oh and Heenan wasn’t even here to make up for some of Warrior’s issues. At the end of the day, Warrior looked miserable out there and that’s a big issue. If you’re a month and a half into your title reign, you should be able to show some energy in a five minute match. Come on already.

And of course Mooney knocks himself out with his gun to end the tape.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s a bad sign when the best match on the tape is a just ok match between Santana and Perfect. That was almost completely negated by the terrible main event and the even worse DiBiase vs. Roberts match. This was a good example of just how bad things were when Hogan wasn’t around, as he at least could have breathed some life into this thing. Rather terrible offering here, with Neidhart vs. Genius of all things being the second best match.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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WWE Vault: Best Of The Big Boss Man: Like A Boss (Full Video Included)

Best Of Big Boss Man
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Rick Stewart, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the signature series of the WWE Vault as you get to see various wrestlers throughout their careers. In this case it’s someone who is one of the most memorable parts of the company in his day but he only had so much success. This should be a lot of fun as I was quite the fan so let’s get to it.

As usual, we open with a quick intro.

From Starrcade 1986.

Big Bubba Rogers vs. Ron Garvin

Street fight (meaning you win by pinfall or a ten count) and Jim Cornette is here with Rogers (as he was Cornette’s bodyguard). Garvin punches him in the face to start and Bubba is actually staggered, which wasn’t something that happened very often back then. For some reason Garvin agrees to a test of strength but tis a ruse as he hits Bubba in the face again, this time for a trip to the floor.

Back in and Bubba powers him into the corner and then sends him outside (Cornette: “GARVIN’S A COWARD! HE’S TRYING TO RUN!”). Garvin gets back in and gets sent back outside, where he grabs a drink to throw into Bubba’s face. Now the punches start working and Garvin chokes away a bit, only to get kneed in the face. A splash in the corner gives Bubba eight and some hard stomping gets the same, even with Garvin busted open.

Bubba drops an elbow for two and then stands up, allowing Garvin to get up at an eight count (as I try to figure out if that makes sense). A rope gets brought in so Garvin punches him down and chokes with said rope, followed by a bite to bust Bubba open. Bubba is able to come right back with a bearhug, only for Garvin to use some hard headbutts to break it up. Garvin knocks him out to the floor for a six (Cornette: “BUBBA! FIGHT BACK!”) but Garvin just hits Bubba in the head a few more times.

Bubba might hit him low as they go back inside, where Garvin gets in a slam off the top. The kickout sends Garvin onto the referee so he muscles Bubba up for a Texas piledriver. That earns him a tennis racket shot to the head and they’re both out at ten. That doesn’t work though so it’s the first man to his feet to win. Cornette comes in to yell and gets shoved down by the referee, allowing him to to hit Garvin in the knee with the racket. That’s enough for Bubba to be up first for the win at 11:52.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly what you would expect from a street fight, but it was two hard hitting guys beating each other up. I could have gone for a little something more, but at least they felt like they were having a fight. Garvin was laying in those shots and HIT HIM IN THE FACE is quite the logical way to go. Cornette cheating was exactly what you would expect from him and it fit in well with the ending.

From New York City, March 18, 1989.

Big Boss Man vs. Hulk Hogan

In a cage in MSG and Slick is here with the Boss Man. Well in theory as Hogan chases Slick off before getting inside. Hayes says he’s never seen someone climb over the top and get into a cage. This isn’t even the first time he’s called a match where Hogan came in that way. Hogan chokes him with the shirt from behind to start and sends Boss Man into the corner for some running clotheslines.

One of them puts Boss Man down and sets up a suplex as Hogan is rather energetic here. Boss Man gets in a shot of his own and goes up but Hogan is there to chop away on the ropes. Hogan catches him on top and they strike it out, only for Hogan to be shoved down in a bit crash. That’s enough for Boss Man to get over the top but Hogan is up again, this time with the superplex off the top of the cage, which is nowhere near as epic as the famous one on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

The big crash leaves both of them down for a good while until Hogan crawls over to the door. Boss Man gets the boot for the save and Hogan bites him on the head. A spinebuster cuts Hogan off again so Boss Man can choke with a rope. Back up and they ram each other into the cage for another double down. As you might have expected, Hogan gets up first and starts the big comeback, including some rams into the cage.

Boss Man is busted open and Hogan drops the leg so Slick decks the referee and comes inside. This goes as well as you would expect, with Hogan handcuffing Boss Man to the cage. Hogan climbs over as Slick gets the key in, beating him to the floor and hitting Boss Man with a chair as the referee gets up for the win at 11:15.

Rating: B-. It’s no surprise that these two work so well together as they did this match all over the place (including the same day in Boston). Boss Man was as natural of an opponent as Hogan could have had and that’s why he was this role so soon after coming over. It’s not as good as the famous one, but it still worked fine, especially for a house show match.

From Wrestlemania VII.

Before the match, Big Boss Man promises to take the Intercontinental Title from Mr. Perfect, but he’s also out for revenge for Bobby Heenan insulting Boss Man’s mother. The Heenan Family has been mowed down one by one, but now Perfect is the only one left. It’s time for revenge.

Heenan promises to give the people a free look at a law enforcement officer getting a beating. Perfect describes how perfect he happens to be and we’re ready to go.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect, with Heenan, is defending and Boss Man’s weight loss is remarkable. He’s probably lost about 80lbs since the cage match with Hogan, which was about two years earlier. That’s amazing and he looks FAR better here. Boss Man throws the towel back at Perfect to start and then spits at him before heading outside. Perfect gets punched around ringside and then thrown inside for another beating, including swinging him around BY THE HAIR (GEEZ).

A quick shot to the throat finally cuts Boss Man off and we hit the chinlock, with Perfect starting in on the back. The abdominal stretch goes on and Heenan is demanding the bell is rung. There has to be a Montreal joke there somewhere. Perfect hits a dropkick into the necksnap but the PerfectPlex is countered into a small package. Instead Perfect comes back with something close to a running Blockbuster (with Bossman’s legs almost getting bent backwards underneath him).

Perfect goes up but gets knocked out of the air, sending Heenan into panic mode. Boss Man crotches him against the post but Heenan offers a distraction, allowing Perfect to get in a ram into the steps. That’s a bit too far though and here is ANDRE THE GIANT (thankfully able to walk) to even things up. Andre picks up the title and wacks Perfect in the head, leaving both of them down. Boss Man slowly goes over…and the Heenan Family runs in for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C+. These guys had some rather nice chemistry together and it wound up working well, with both of them getting in some offense. It still doesn’t make a ton of sense to have Perfect retain the title here, as he could have gotten it back to drop it to Bret Hart at Summerslam. Either way, the match worked out well, with Boss Man doing some of his best work at this point.

Post match the brawl is on, with Andre helping Boss Man clean house. Andre leaves and Boss Man comes up from behind him and grabs him by the shoulder, with Andre looking like he’s ready to kill him. Everything is cool though.

From Summerslam 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie

The loser spends the night in jail and Jimmy Hart is here with the Mountie. Boss Man slugs away to start and knocks Mountie down, only to have Mountie get away from the running crotch attack against the rope. Instead Hart offers a distraction, allowing Mountie to poke him in the eye. Mountie is pulled out of the air, which is rather impressive, and sets up a hard spinebuster. Hart offers another distraction so Mountie can get in a cheap shot to take over.

Back in and a jumping elbow to the back of the face drops Boss Man again. Boss Man misses a charge into the corner to make it even worse, followed by some elbows for a really lazy looking cover. A forearm to the chest knocks Boss Man off the apron and a piledriver gets two back inside. Mountie stands around for a long time until Hart gets up for the distraction. The shock stick doesn’t connect though and it’s a Boss Man Slam…for two? Well that isn’t something you see very often. Instead it’s one heck of an Alabama Slam to give Boss Man the pin at 9:37.

Rating: B-. The Alabama Slam alone was worth a look, as Boss Man laid him out with that thing. Other than that, it was one of the last big time Boss Man matches, even without much of a reason for doubt. Boss Man going to jail isn’t exactly a thing, while Mountie going to jail has quite the comedic potential. Which is what wound up happening.

Post match Mountie is sent into the police van and taken away….and we don’t see the rest, though this isn’t about him.

From Spring Stampede 1994 (and since we’re in WCW, he has a very original new name).

The Boss vs. Vader

Harley Race is here with Vader. The brawl starts on the ramp, with Race holding Boss but getting crushed by Vader by mistake. Boss knocks Vader over the rope and inside as the bell rings, meaning it’s time to strike away. A big boot and running right hand knock Vader back onto the ramp, where he hits a hard clothesline of his own. Vader throws him over the top and back inside, where a running splash (from the ramp and over the top) hits raised knees.

They go back outside with Vader being sent into the barricade and then then dropped onto it via quite the power display from Boss. Back in again and a rather easy looking slam drops Vader again but he gets back up. They slug it out and Vader gives him a backdrop over the top, with Boss barely getting the rope to help with the flip over. A splash crushes Boss back inside and Vader unloads in the corner.

Back up and Boss slugs away, including a running clothesline to the bleeding Vader. Boss gets run over again so Vader goes up, where Boss powerbombs him down for quite the impressive crash. A middle rope DDT gives Boss two so he goes up for a high crossbody of all things. That looked a bit weird and it makes sense as Boss goes up again but gets powerslammed off the top. The Vader Bomb only gets two so it’s a top rope moonsault to finish Boss at 9:04.

Rating: B+. This was one of Boss’s best matches ever, as he knew how to have a fight rather than wrestling. That’s exactly what it felt like here, as Boss was more than capable of hanging with Vader physically. There is very little in wrestling more entertaining than watching two big guys beating the living daylights out of each other until one of them falls and that’s what we got here. Awesome power brawl.

Post match Race loads up the handcuffs but Boss (or BOSS MAN according to Heenan) fight shim off and unloads on both of them with the nightstick.

From Fall Brawl 1994 and he’s now the Guardian Angel, which was a real group of citizen police. In other words, the WWF threatened to sue, which made sense in this case as THE BOSS might as well have been the exact same gimmick as he had in the WWF.

Guardian Angel vs. Vader vs. Sting

This is a triangle match (meaning two of them have a match and the winner faces the other man in a second match) for a future World Title match and Harley Race is here with Vader. They flip coins and Sting is the odd man out so it’s Vader vs. Angel, winner faces Sting immediately after. Angel gets in Sting’s face and tells him to stay out of this, with Sting agreeing but not liking the tone at all.

They shove each other a bit to start and then go to a test of strength, with Vader powering him down. Vader unloads on him in the corner but some running clotheslines give Angel a breather. The slam doesn’t work though and Vader is right back with the forearms in the corner. Guardian gets in a shot of his own and manages a rather impressive slam. An elbow between the legs sets up a less than successful slam attempt and Vader drops him face.

The chinlock goes on for a bit, only for Angel to fight up and hit a running crossbody for two. Another running charge sends Vader outside in a heap and Angel is back up. Vader decks Race by mistake and a slam gives Angel two back inside. The sliding uppercut underneath the ropes connects with Vader’s jaw but the referee gets bumped, meaning the Boss Man Slam gets no count. Race gets up and hits Angel, allowing the Vader Bomb to put him away at 7:07.

After a brief rest period, Sting comes out and we’re ready for the second round. Vader shoves him around to start and backs him into the corner, where Sting Hulks Up. That earns him the standing splash for the easy knockdown, followed by the Vader Bomb. Rather than covering, Vader tries it again but Sting cuts him off. Sting strikes away until a shot to the face drops him just as fast. Another Vader Bomb misses and Sting clotheslines him over the top. Sting suplexes Race on the floor and Vader back inside, followed by a splash…which hits raised knees.

The moonsault misses for Vader though and the fans are going nuts, despite Sting not doing much here. A superplex drops Vader again and the big elbow actually connects for Sting. The Samoan drop gives Sting two more and he German suplexes Vader down (that looked great) for two. Back up and Vader fires off the forearms, which trigger the Hulk Up. Sting drops him again with four minutes left and some top rope clotheslines have Vader in more trouble.

The top rope splash gets two with two minutes left and Vader is back up with a belly to back suplex. Vader goes up but dives into a powerslam, as tends to happen to him. Sting gets two off a clothesline and grabs the Scorpion but can’t get it all the way on as time expires at 25:56 total (15:00 of Sting vs. Vader).

Therefore it’s a five minute overtime and Vader kicks Sting down, followed by a hard suplex for two. Sting is sat on top but breaks up a superplex attempt with three minutes left. Vader crashes down but Sting is too banged up to do anything other than get down and weakly cover for two. This time it’s Vader going up and getting super backdropped down. Vader clotheslines him down for two more as we have a minute to go. A big splash gives Vader two more and he hits the powerbomb but takes too long to cover as time expires at 32:14.

So it’s now sudden death, meaning it’s the first person to be knocked down loses. Vader starts slugging away and Sting can barely stay up as he staggers to the ropes in a great visual. A big collapse into the corner isn’t enough for a knockdown and Vader is getting mad. Well madder. Sting fights back and knocks Vader against the ropes so Race gets on the apron. Cue the Guardian Angel to cut him off, with the referee following them. Sting drops the referee but a masked man (who has been causing issues as of late) runs in to deck Sting, allowing Vader to get up and win at 34:26.

Rating: B+. This is a weird one, as it’s literally two falls in one match with different wrestlers involved. The Angel vs. Vader stuff is decent, but Sting vs. Vader is the usual incredible showdown. It took some time to warm up but once they got going, it was a huge slugfest, with Sting staggering to stay on his feet being excellent stuff. If nothing else, this made Vader look like a killer, as he beat both guys back to back.

From Monday Night Raw, November 30, 1998.

Hardcore Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mankind

Mankind, with the JOB Squad, is defending in a ladder match and Commissioner Shawn Michaels is here with Boss Man. The Squad is chased off to start and Boss Man hits him in the head with the nightstick. Mankind is right back with a ladder to the head (Shawn gives it a minus two) and then drops the ladder onto Boss Man (Shawn gives it a one). They get inside and Mankind goes up but dives onto Boss Man rather than go for the belt.

An elbow to the ladder with Boss Man inside (good for a six) crushes him again and there’s a double arm DDT to keep him down. Boss Man cuts off the climb though and sends Mankind into the ladder in the corner. That’s good for a ten from Shawn but Mankind uses Socko to cut off a climb. Cue the Rock (in a shirt, trunks and tennis shoes for a weird look) to shove the ladder over and hit a Rock Bottom. Boss Man gets the title (his first in the WWF or WCW) at 6:20.

Rating: C. There’s a reason this time period is so well remembered, as there was so much going on. This match had interference, a ladder, Michaels’ running score gag, and the Rock in that weird get up. That’s quite a bit to cover in one match, which doesn’t even hit six and a half minutes. And it’s for the Hardcore Title. At least Boss Man finally got his hands on some gold, which was something he had earned over the years.

Post match the beatdown stays on for a bonus.

From Monday Night Raw, December 14, 1998.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Big Boss Man/Ken Shamrock

Boss Man and Shamrock, with Shawn Michaels, are challenging. Boss Man shoulders Gunn down a few times to start so Gunn tells him to bring it. Some dropkicks clear the ring and even Dogg gets in one of his own. Back in and Boss Man gets in a shot to Gunn’s leg and take over. Shamrock knows how to go after a limb and takes the knee pad down to stay on the leg. Some elbows to the leg leave Gunn unable to run the ropes and Dogg comes in for a quick shot for a breather.

Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but gets countered into a sitout powerbomb. That’s enough for the tag off to Dogg but Michaels chairs him in the back. The Boss Man Slam is good for two so Gunn is back in, only to get distracted by Michaels. That earns Gunn a nightstick to the head and he’s out as the ankle lock goes on to make Shamrock and Boss Man (already the Intercontinental and Hardcore Champion) Tag Team Champions at 6:47.

Rating: C. This was another match where they packed in quite a bit of stuff, though thankfully not as bad as the previous one. At the same time, I’m really not sure that a mega stable like the Corporation needed two double champions. There were no other wrestlers who could have taken those titles? Either way, at least Shamrock seemed thrilled with the title win, as you should.

Overall Rating: B-. For lack of a better term, Boss Man was good at being a boss for someone to fight. It made his matches with people like Hogan or Vader work so well, as Boss Man had the size to match up with them, but he could also be a big power guy against more normal sized opposition. He had a sneaky good collection of matches as well, as once he slimmed down and figured out his style, it was working far better. This was a lot of fun and I can see why I was a fan of his for such a long time.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Saturday Night’s Main Event #30 (2025 Edition): I Want To Punch Hulk Hogan In The Face (Includes Full Show)

Saturday Night’s Main Event #30
Date: February 8, 1992
Location: Lubbock Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This isn’t exactly a great time for the show but it’s certainly a star studded show. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania VIII and the big story is that Hulk Hogan is scheduled to get the WWF Title shot against Ric Flair. Sid Justice isn’t happy about Hogan getting the chance and they happen to be teaming up against Flair and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We get a rather generic opening sequence showing some of the bigger names on the show. This is very early 90s.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper is defending, which isn’t something you often get to say and Jimmy Hart is here with Mountie. Hart steals the belt before the match so Piper (wrestling in a shirt) sends both of them outside for a double noggin knocker. Back in and Mountie ties him in the Tree of Woe to kick away as we get some comments from Bret Hart, who gets the winner at Wrestlemania (he doesn’t care who he faces).

The referee gets bumped and Mountie hits a piledriver, but Hart hands him some water. Mountie pours the water on Piper and then uses the shock stick…but Piper pops up. A right hand drops Mountie and Piper steals the shock stick to knock him out instead. As luck would have it, the referee is up and Piper retains at 3:31.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but the point was in the surprise of Piper jumping up after the shock stick. Piper had already gotten his big moment of winning the title at the Royal Rumble so this was just a bit of a bonus. Mountie wasn’t going to a long term star around the title picture so having him lose to Piper twice in a row is fine.

Post match Piper takes off his shirt to reveal a vest labeled SHOCK PROOF. Yep, that’s rather fitting of someone as smart as Piper.

We look at the end of the Royal Rumble, with Sid Justice dumping Hulk Hogan but getting tossed by Ric Flair for the win. Note the VERY dubbed audio that has the fans chanting for Hogan, which was absolutely not the case in real time. Sid and Hogan got into it after the match and had to be held apart. Then Hogan got the title shot anyway because…well because Jack Tunney was kind of a goof. Sid was rightfully livid and thinks he’s getting cheated because he’s the newcomer.

But then earlier today, Sid apologized for going too far, especially against Hogan. Uh, right.

Hogan and Sid seem to be ok, but Sid doesn’t get to talk because Hogan wants to talk about going to Wrestlemania. Sid just leaves as Hogan talks and yeah, Hogan has earned whatever he has coming to him.

Ric Flair/Undertaker vs. Sid Justice/Hulk Hogan

Mr. Perfect and Paul Bearer are here with the villains and Hogan brings out Brutus Beefcake as a surprise. Flair and Sid start things off with Sid hitting a big backdrop into a hiptoss. That’s enough to send Flair outside where he seems to be limping a bit, which is made worse as Hogan backdrops and hiptosses him as well.

Undertaker gets hiptossed and it’s back to Sid, who slams him down. Hogan comes back in with a pair of slams as he keeps doing the same things Sid does, but more. Undertaker manages to get in a shot to Sid though and a double clothesline gets two. A double atomic drop puts Sid down again as the villains take over. Hogan makes another save as everything breaks down, with Hogan telling Sid what to do. A double big boot and a double clothesline clear the ring as we take a break.

We come back with Undertaker sneaking up on Sid to take over. Sid gets taken into the corner and Undertaker even gets in a top rope right hand. A double noggin knocker gets Sid out of trouble and Hogan comes in to clean house. Perfect grabs the leg though and Flair gets to start in on the knee.

The Figure Four goes on and Sid isn’t even looking at the ring. Hogan turns it over and escapes as Sid is looking bored on the apron. Undertaker comes back in for the jumping clothesline as Beefcake begs Sid to get in the ring and help. Flair comes in and chops away, which of course triggers the Hulk Up. Hogan knocks them both down and goes for the tag but Sid walks out. The double teaming continues until it’s a DQ at 11:35.

Rating: C. I’ve been a Hogan fan since before I can remember and he’s the reason I got into wrestling in the first place. Watching this match back made me want to see Sid punch him in the mouth. Hogan was an absolute jerk to Sid, both here and at the Rumble (plus in the pre-match promo) and deserved everything that happened to him. And he never even learns as this is eerily similar to what happened with Paul Orndorff six years earlier!

Post match Hogan beats both of them up as Beefcake gets in the ring to watch. Well of course Hogan can just do that.

In the back, Sid isn’t sorry for what happened because Hogan couldn’t beat Flair or himself on his best day.

Post break, Hogan says Sid turned his back on everyone, but thank goodness for Brutus Beefcake (who did….nothing), who was always there for him. Beefcake thanks Hogan for being there in the hospital with him and Hogan dedicates his title match at Wrestlemania (which didn’t happen) to Beefcake, who only had a quick cameo at the show. Of note: this was clearly taped before the match, as Hogan isn’t even sweating just a few minutes after a match.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Duggan backs Blake into the corner to start but gets whipped into…Slaughter, who blocks Duggan from hitting the buckle. The Genius gets in a cheap scroll shot to Duggan and Blake jumps over Beau onto Duggan’s back. Duggan fights out and hands it off to Slaughter, who grabs an abdominal stretch of all things. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits a clothesline for the pin (with the camera looking at Duggan rather than Slaughter’s cover) at 2:39. Nothing to this one.

Randy Savage talks about Jake Roberts making him inside. Oh Randy that ship sailed a long time ago.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage jumps him from behind to start and sends Roberts into the post, possibly breaking Roberts’ nose. They get inside with Savage hammering away but a poke to the eye cuts him off. Savage is sent outside but comes back in, where Roberts sends him into the buckle. And then outside again. Roberts sends him into the barricade and we take a break. We come back with Savage crawling back inside, where Roberts punches him out of the air and hits the DDT. The short arm clothesline lets Roberts applaud a bit but the DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor. Back in and the big elbow finishes Roberts at 5:25.

Rating: B-. These two always seemed like they were ready to kill each other but they never had that one huge match. The one at Tuesday In Texas was white hot but it only works so well with such a short amount of time. At least Savage got the pin and survived the DDT, which really should be the end of the feud.

Post match Savage grabs his trusty ring bell but referees and agents cut him off. Elizabeth comes out to celebrate with Savage…as Roberts is waiting on them behind the curtain after the show. While it wasn’t shown here (but later aired on Superstars), Roberts grabbed a chair and was going to smash one of them as they came through the curtain.

That would be Elizabeth, but Undertaker of all people grabbed the chair from him, allowing Elizabeth to escape and Savage to chair Roberts down. Commentary sold the heck out of this, with both of them swearing, as Vince even called Sid a son of a b****. And that’s how Undertaker turned face in an awesome segment that showed there was a point even he wouldn’t cross.

Overall Rating: C+. You could tell that the steam was WAY out of Saturday Night’s Main Event at this point but this one did at least set up a few things at Wrestlemania. The wrestling wasn’t much to see though and the Hogan praise was insufferable. The good thing is it only ran an hour, as this was all about the angles and that wasn’t going to last much longer. We got enough Hogan stuff just in this show, and thank goodness he was leaving soon after this because it was almost impossible to take. Not a great show, but it did serve a purpose.

 

 

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WWF Live Event – November 30, 1991: That’s Why It Doesn’t Work (Includes Full Show)

WWF House Show
Date: November 30, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes

Eh let’s have some fun with something like this as the house shows are almost always a good time. We are freshly off the Survivor Series, meaning Undertaker is actually the WWF Champion at the moment. That’s not something you see very often at this point but it could make for something interesting. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, as this is from the WWE Old School series.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and you can see Tito Santana (El Matador in this case) coming to the ring behind them.

Tito Santana vs. Kato

Oh this is a house show opener for sure. Kato tries to jump him to start and gets armdragged down for his efforts. Some shots against the ropes slow Santana a bit and he can’t get an O’Connor roll. A running clothesline works a bit better though and Kato crashes out to the floor. Back in and the armdrag into the armbar has Kato in more trouble as commentary talks about Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair.

A hiptoss takes Kato back down and we hit the armbar again. Kato finally fights up and grabs a backbreaker for his first real offense. Another backbreaker gives Kato two and we hit the reverse chinlock, though Heenan wants a Boston crab. Santana powers up, with McMahon going into a bizarre (for him) explanation of the physics of how Santana is doing this the hard way. Kato’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two so Santana gives him a faceplant. Another knockdown sets up El Paso del Muerte (Flying Salsa according to Heenan) to finish Kato at 10:05.

Rating: C. Santana is almost as perfect of an opening match wrestler as you can get as the fans know and respect him. It made for a fine match, even against a low level tag wrestler like Kato. The comeback worked and while the match might not have been anything great, it did exactly what it needed to do.

Texas Tornado vs. Berzerker

Berzerker jumps him to start and hits a big (furry) boot but misses a dropkick. Tornado slugs away and clotheslines him to the floor (with Tornado trying a second one and hitting Berzerker’s upside down feet). Back in and Tornado misses a charge into the post and they head outside, where Berzerker is sent into the steps. That’s enough for the countout at 2:02, likely because Tornado appeared to be somewhere over Jupiter. Vince: “That’s one of the strangest matches I’ve ever seen in Madison Square Garden.”

Virgil vs. Skinner

Virgil throws the punches to start and gets slapped in the corner for his efforts. This leaves Vince to ask Alfred about rumors of a comeback, with Hayes, who hadn’t wrestled in eight and a half years, laughing it off. Skinner bails to the floor before coming back in, with Virgil backing him into the corner. An atomic drop sets up a headlock, which is driven into the corner so Skinner can hit a shoulder to the ribs.

Skinner seems to bite Virgil’s ear before sending him outside for the assorted stomping. Back in and Virgil slugs away, only to get tossed to the floor again. A reverse DDT drops Virgil for a terribly slow count, which doesn’t matter anyway as Virgil had a foot on the rope. An elbow to the face gets two more and my goodness the referee is actually getting slower. Vince complains about said referee, saying he was both out of position and “rotund”. Geez man. Anyway, Virgil gets a sunset flip for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: D. I’ve seen Skinner have a good match on occasion, but that was not the case here. This was every bit as dull of a match as you would have expected and it somehow dragged down a show which was already pretty low when this match started. Oh and commentary was right on the referee. That was inexcusable and I’m sure it has to do with the athletic commission, which has a place, but not when it comes to picking referees.

Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Mr. Perfect is…not here with Flair, despite being introduced with him. Flair struts on the apron to start and the chase is on, with Flair managing to strike away in the corner back inside. Hogan switches places and fires off the chops, followed by a running clothesline. A hiptoss is blocked and Hogan knocks him to the floor, meaning it’s time for some quick posing.

Flair gets sent into various hard objects and a clothesline sends him into the fans. Back in and something is stuck to Flair’s back but falls off when he grabs a belly to back suplex. That’s shrugged off for a hard whip into the corner, leaving Flair to hit the ineffective chops. Going to the eyes only gets Flair so far as he heads up top, only to crash down in the exactly expected manner. The big boot and legdrop connect but Flair gets his foot on the rope just in time. That means Hogan has to yell at the referee, allowing Flair to kick at the knee.

NOW Mr. Perfect comes to the ring, allowing Flair to wrap the knee around the post. Perfect does it as well and then rams the knee onto the apron, with Heenan thinking his monitor has gone dark. The Figure Four goes on with Perfect grabbing the hands, though Hogan is able to turn it over anyway. Since the referee is a moron, Perfect is able to hand Flair a foreign object for the big knockout pin at 9:25. And hang on as some other officials come out and find the object, meaning it’s a reversed decision.

Rating: C. This was a good example of what was wrong with Hogan vs. Flair: it was really only interesting on paper. They didn’t have much in the way of chemistry and there is only so much drama in Flair using the Figure Four. Outside of some crazy sneaky cheating, Flair feels more like a pest to Hogan than a threat and that’s not going to work. And hey look, it really didn’t.

As usual, Hogan takes his sweet time posing after the match.

It seems that we skip intermission as commentary previews the second half.

Jim Duggan vs. Barbarian

Barbarian throws his….cape? Pelt? Whatever it is, at Duggan, who beats on it with his 2×4 in a funny start. They lock up to start about a minute and a half in and it’s an early standoff. A lockup goes to Barbarian as he shoves Duggan into the corner for some more stalling. Duggan knocks him to the floor, followed by some knees to the ribs back inside as Heenan goes on a pro-Flair rant.

Barbarian comes back with a choke on the ropes and they just start brawling, with the referee doing NOTHING. Vince is all over him (same one as earlier) as Barbarian plants Duggan and grabs the bearhug. Duggan fights out and is quickly cut off with a shot to the ribs. The bearhug sequel goes on and stays for a bit longer, though Duggan slugs out again. Some clotheslines and right hands in the corner rock Barbarian before another clothesline finishes for Duggan at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This is another case where you know what you’re going to get as soon as the match is announced as it’s not like they’re going to do anything else. That doesn’t make it any better, but at least we got to see the worst referee imaginable again. Commentary is right to mock him endlessly, as he does absolutely nothing out there and it just keeps getting worse.

Post match Barbarian jumps him again but Duggan grabs the 2×4 to clear the ring.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. The Mountie

Hart is defending and gets his whole hometown listed while Mountie is just from “Canada”. I guess you have to be a champion to get a city. Then again, law and order represents all of Canada so maybe it’s appropriate. Mountie holds him off with the shock stick so here is the Big Boss Man to take it away, allowing Hart to jump Mountie and start fast. Some rams into the corner and an elbow put Mountie down, followed by an elbow for two.

Mountie comes back with some forearms and a bite to the head, with Vince praising the referee (a WWF regular) for breaking it up. Hart bites him right back as Vince makes sure that Hayes is awake. Some right hands in the corner have Mountie in trouble as Hart is looking more fired up than usual for a house show. Hart’s charge hits the post and Mountie elbows him down for two more.

Now Hart goes chest first into the buckle (there it is) and the reverse chinlock goes on. Mountie even pulls the hair for a bonus, with Heenan saying is a way to grow the hair. With that not working, Mountie puts him in the tree of woe for some upside down hair pulling. Heenan complains about Boss Man taking the shock stick away from the Mountie, who is the Excellence Of Electrocution (if that isn’t an electrical company somewhere in the south, I don’t know what we’re doing).

A chair to the ribs (right in front of the referee) has Hart down again on the floor, followed by a piledriver back inside. Some rams into the buckle give Mountie two but Hart ducks a middle rope crossbody. Hart starts the comeback by slugging away, setting up the Five Mo…well never mind actually as the middle rope elbow is enough for the pin to retain at 12:57.

Rating: C+. The ending was definitely a surprise and I can go with that over seeing the same things over and over again. Hart was clearly rising up the card at this point and there was a reason to believe that he was going to be turning into one of the bigger names. Mountie wasn’t a bad opponent either and this worked well enough.

IRS vs. Big Boss Man

After insulting the litany of tax cheats in New York, IRS bails to the floor. Boss Man picks up the referee and gets jumped from behind, but manages to get a boot up in the corner. That’s enough to send IRS outside again and we hit the stall button again. Back in and Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to the back of the head, followed by a nice ram to the buckle (with the referee getting in the way for a bit before letting it go).

A running splash in the corner crushes IRS again but a missed charge cuts Boss Man off fast. That’s enough to send Boss Man outside and IRS gets in a heck of a posting. Back in and some elbows give IRS two, followed by the abdominal stretch (with a rope grab of course). With that not working, the chinlock goes on, followed by some cranking on the leg to keep things fresh.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Boss Man reverses into a sleeper. That’s broken up as they both fall down (likely out of boredom) before Boss Man misses another charge into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but thankfully Boss Man is out faster this time, setting up a running splash for…no count. Back up and IRS sends him outside, where the Mountie runs in for a running knee. IRS goes up and dives into a raised boot, followed by a regular boot to the face. Mountie gets on the apron so IRS nails Boss Man with the briefcase for the pin at 13:41.

Rating: D+. Boss Man was falling fast by this point and that was on full display here. There was quite a bit going on, but losing a singles match to IRS really isn’t a great sign. This would have been better with about five minutes cut out, but Boss Man’s top days were long gone and this was about as good as it was going to be for the rest of his run with the company. The match was just a bunch of dull stuff with Boss Man trying to get in some offense but not getting anything going. IRS isn’t about to be exciting no matter what he’s doing, so how was this going to work?

Rockers vs. Nasty Boys

The Rockers have been having some issues as of late. We get a long stretch of stalling after the bell, with no contact for the first two minutes of the match. Sags bails to the floor but Knobbs suckers Michaels in for a cheap shot so Sags can take over. Michaels bites the nose to get out of an early bearhug and it’s Jannetty coming in with a double clothesline from the top.

Jannetty comes in and, after about a minute of standing around, Knobbs comes in and gets punched in the face. The jumping back elbow sets up the armbar on Knobbs, who fights up without much trouble. Jannetty sticks the landing on a backdrop attempt and gets two off a rollup, meaning the armbar can go on again. Michaels comes in for his own armbar before doing the same thing to Sags.

The Boys fight back but Michaels is right up top for a shot to the head. Michaels goes after Knobs on the apron though and Sags jumps him from behind to take over. That includes a pair of postings on the floor, setting up the reverse chinlock back inside. After quite a bit of that, Knobbs comes back in for a bearhug as this just keeps going. Sags’ side slam gets two but Michaels is back with a sunset flip…which the referee doesn’t notice for a good while.

Sags kicks out and grabs a bearhug of his own, even taking it to the mat in case the regular version was too interesting. Michaels finally gets his knees up for something close to a low blow and the much needed tag brings in Jannetty to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Knobbs by mistake. Jannetty gets a small package on Sags, which is turned over. Jannetty turns that over as well, but Michaels isn’t paying attention and turns it back over to give Sags the pin at 17:54. Even commentary seems confused.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good and the ending was unique, but the problem here was how uninteresting the whole thing was. You had the long stalling at the beginning and then a lot of laying around in holds. There is something to be gotten from doing a match like that, but there needs to be a lot more than “here’s the same hold for a few minutes and then the same thing from my partner”. We didn’t get there here and it tanked the match.

Michaels explains himself as the issues continue. These two need to talk. Like at a barber shop. About two days from now.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty dull stuff, with nothing worth going out of your way to see and only a handful of passable matches throughout. Hart was doing his thing well enough and Michaels would be VERY different when they were back here next time, but egads this did not work. I was interested in seeing what they had here and now it’s easy to see why this was such a dead time for the company.

 

 

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