2nd Annual Battle Of The WWF Superstars: We Lost (Includes Full Video)

Battle Of The WWF Superstars II
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes
Host: Sean Mooney

This is another Coliseum Video and much like a good many of them, it really doesn’t have a theme. The previous edition was only notable for Sean Mooney doing a really bad Patton impression so hopefully they have something better this time around. You never can tell with these things though so let’s get to it.

This is from the summer of 1991.

We open with a preview of some WrestleFest 91. Randy Savage jumps in to say he’ll be hosting the tape, which wasn’t very good.

Sean Mooney is indeed the host again and the Patton stuff continues, thankfully without the voice.

We see Mooney driving up to meet his troops, promising them a lot of action.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Roddy Piper

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending and this should be good. They take their time to start with Perfect spitting gum into Piper’s face, earning himself a beating out to the floor. The chase gets Perfect back inside so Piper puts the referee in the corner to start the fight. That has Perfect bailing out to the floor again before coming back inside to lose a slugout. Piper even grabs Perfect’s singlet to hold him in place for more right hands.

The singlet is ripped off, leaving Perfect in regular trunks for a weird look. Piper gets up for a double clothesline but can’t follow up, allowing Perfect to putt he singlet on again. Back up and Perfect starts choking before kicking away at the ribs. A dropkick puts Piper on the apron and it’s time to remove a turnbuckle pad. That’ll be for later apparently as they go to the pinfall reversal sequence, before a kickout crushes the referee.

Piper is sent into the exposed buckle, allowing the PerfectPlex to (eventually) get two. Another ram into the buckle is blocked and they go outside, with Piper ramming him into the steps a few times. Piper finds a belt for some whipping but Perfect sends him into the barricade. Perfect goes up top but gets crotched back out to the floor, allowing Piper to beat the count for the win at 12:18.

Rating: B. This is a case where it wasn’t about the action, which was just ok, but rather having a hot crowd and playing along with them. Piper and Perfect knew exactly what to do here and it wound up working so well. Piper could got so much out of so little and when he had someone as good as Perfect to boost it up, things got even better. Very fun match here, even if it was mostly goofy.

From New York City, New York, January 21, 1991.

Nasty Boys vs. Bushwhackers

This is the Fan Favorite match, meaning a fan requested it, and for once I can kind of believe that. Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys as Luke and Knobbs start things off. Knobbs bails into the corner to start and everything breaks down in a hurry. The brawl sees the Nastys cleared to the ring so whacking can ensue. Back in and Sags takes over on Butch to slow things down a bit. It’s quickly back to Luke and some Battering Rams clear the ring and it’s time to march.

We settle back down to Sags getting in a chair shot to Luke so the villains can actually take over for a change. Butch is drawn in, allowing some elbows to keep Luke down. The big elbow in the corner misses for Sags though and the tag brings Butch in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Luke makes a save, only for Sags to elbow Butch and give Knobbs the pin at 7:48.

Rating: D. And then we go back in the other direction with this drek. This was every bit as bad as you would have expected, with the Bushwhackers doing their comedy and the Nastys doing their best to sell it. The problem is neither team can do much other than brawling and this was more about the comedy, which made for a rough match.

From New York City, New York, November 24, 1990.

Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Hart is half of the Tag Team Champions at this point and it feels like these two fought a dozen times on Coliseum Video. Barbarian powers him down to start and kicks him in the head. Hart’s attempt at a comeback sees him tossed into the corner but he avoids the rope walk elbow. That lets Hart’s middle rope elbow connect and there’s the running clothesline for two more. Barbarian is right back with a powerslam before he blocks a piledriver. Instead he sits down on Hart and poses, allowing Hart to get the sunset flip for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: C. You could more or less guarantee that was going to be the finish, if nothing else due to how many times they did the EXACT SAME THING. The match itself was fine, but what are you supposed to do with a match this short? This felt like “get Hart on the card on his own” more than anything else, which was fine.

And now, trivia, asked by wrestlers! Well some of them at least.

1. What was the official symbol for Hulk Hogan’s return against Earthquake?

2. What tag team was known as the “Pink & Black Attack?”

3. Why was the Big Boss Man mad at Bobby Heenan?

4. What is Mr. Perfect’s finishing move?

5. What caused Jake Roberts to lose his vision?

Not exactly tricky here.

From Orlando, Florida, February 18, 1991.

Jake Roberts vs. Kato

Mr. Fuji and Tanaka are here too. Roberts is in some weird blue/yellow tights and that’s a very strange look for him. An early wristlock sends Kato bailing over to the ropes but Roberts stays on the arm, even lifting him up by said arm. Kato fights up and is elbowed in the face, followed by another takedown by the arm. The threat of the DDT sends Kato bailing out to the floor, only for his cheap shot to be cut off.

Another attempt at the DDT has Kato on the floor again but he’s back in a bit faster this time. Roberts runs into a knee in the corner and gets sent outside for a cane shot to the back. Tanaka gets in a shot of his own and Roberts finally gets back inside. Some left hands and the short clothesline drop Kato but Tanaka sneaks in to break up the DDT. The DDT connects a few seconds later but Tanaka comes in for the DQ at 7:04.

Rating: D-. Freaking KATO? There is something to be said about protecting wrestlers, but not only was Kato beaten, but Roberts fought all three of them off and had the match won. This was a one sided match against a villain who was in way over his head and he can’t even take a fall. I have no idea what the thinking was here but there was no reason for it to go this way.

Post match Roberts fights the team off and chases Fuji to the back with the snake.

We get a profile on Jim Duggan, meaning the soldiers now have 2x4s.

We start with Duggan in a building made of wood, where he gives us a tour of his collection of 2x4s, one of which is autographed by people with wood related named (Woody from Cheers, James Woods and the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra). Ok that’s at least clever.

From New York City, New York, March 15, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Non-title flag match and General Adnan and Hulk Hogan (in camouflage) are here too. Duggan slugs away to start and Slaughter is down in the corner early. Actually we’ll make that out to the floor, meaning it’s time to hit the stall button. Back in and they lock up, with Slaugher backing him against the ropes. That earns him a big shove and the right hands, which Duggan always made look good.

Slaughter manages to get in a kick to the face though and some choking on the ropes has Duggan in more trouble. Duggan slugs up again but gets caught in a sleeper to slow him back down. That’s only good for two arm drops before Duggan gets up and sends Slaughter into the buckle. Slaughter knocks him down again and actually goes up for a top rope knee. Hogan even gets jumped from behind, which is enough to let Slaughter go up again but get shoved down for the crash.

Hogan and Adnan just come on in, with Slaughter going outside to beat on Hogan some more. Some cable choking has Hogan down and now it’s back inside for some knee drops to Duggan. The camel clutch goes on so Adnan gets on the apron for the sole purpose of allowing Hogan to hit Slaughter with the board. Duggan eventually gets up and covers Slaughter, which draws in Adnan for the save and DQ at 14:12, because after everything else before that was fine.

Rating: C-. The match itself wasn’t good, but the heat did help a lot. At the same time, it’s rather clear that Hogan is going to win for America at Wrestlemania and Slaughter didn’t even get to look strong here. It was a long match and did feel important, but there was no hiding the fact that Slaughter was on borrowed time and everyone knew it even more this match.

Post match Slaughter and Adnan beat up Hogan and Duggan, allowing them to wave the Iraqi Flag. Slaughter leaves but forgets the title, with Adnan coming back to get it and….yep that’s going to be a beating for him. At least the American flag is waved. Wrestlemania was in 9 days so America would be avenged soon enough.

Duggan goes to a lumber yard to get some fresh 2x4s. And yes, the man who cuts his wood is named Woody. And yes, we watch the board be cut.

From Cedar Rapids, Iowa, April 16, 1991.

Jim Duggan vs. Smash

Mr. Fuji is here with Smash, who was mostly a singles wrestler at this point. They take their time to start, with Duggan of course knowing how to play to the crowd to keep them going. Smash backs him into the corner but gets clotheslined down a few times. The third sends him outside but he comes back in to take over on Duggan in the corner.

Some forearms in the corner set up a neck crank, followed by a legdrop for two. We’re back to the neck crank, which allows Duggan to fight up and slug away in the corner. That means Duggan gets to tell the referee to LAY OFF MY BACK, as was his custom. Fuji’s distraction doesn’t work and it’s the three point clothesline to finish Smash at 6:11.

Rating: C-. Well at least Duggan got the pin. It was just over Smash, who was kind of hanging around until he got something fresh at this point, but at least Duggan got the win. That’s not much of a focus on Duggan, but that’s oddly the case with a lot of these Coliseum Video profiles, which was always a weird way to go.

Mooney is lost but finds his way to the next match.

From Ft. Wayne, Indiana, October 30, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage, with Queen Sherri, is challenging and this is a dark match from after the fourth Main Event. Warrior runs in, clotheslines him down, hits the usual, and it’s the gorilla press into the Warrior Splash to retain at 1:32. Warrior didn’t even have his face painted and commentary pointed out that something had to be wrong with Savage.

From Savannah, Georgia, January 29, 1991.

Ted DiBiase vs. Tugboat

Ok then. DiBiase tries to jump him to start but gets clotheslined outside instead. Back in and a rake to the eyes just makes Tugboat mad so he whips DiBiase into some corners. DiBiase needs a timeout on the floor and comes back in to get elbowed in the face. The elbow drop misses for Tugboat and DiBiase bails again, this time with Tugboat giving chase.

That goes as well as you would expect, with DiBiase catching him on the way back inside. Some choking has Tugboat down again and they go outside, with DiBiase choking against the barricade. Tugboat manages to post him and they go back inside for some splashes in the corner. DiBiase gets in a shot of his own and tries the Million Dollar Dream, which is broken up rather quickly. Tugboat misses a charge into the corner though and DiBiase gets a rollup for the clean pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. Another rather lame match as Tugboat is the biggest example of “I liked him when I was a kid but wow he does not hold up.” There’s just nothing to him here and DiBiase had nothing to work with, which is why they got out of there pretty quickly. The change to Typhoon would help, but there was only so much that Tugboat in any form was going to be able to do.

Mooney uses binoculars to see….the Tag Team Match Of The Month logo. Are we sure that’s not a Viewmaster?

From Chattanooga, Tennessee, January 8, 1991.

Power & Glory/Warlord vs. British Bulldog/Legion Of Doom

Slick is here with the villains. Hawk glares around a lot to start before punching Roma in the face a few times. The top rope clothesline misses though and Roma stomps away in the corner. Something resembling a dropkick sends Roma outside, where he actually takes over. Back in and Roma hits a much better looking dropkick but Hawk pops back up with a neckbreaker.

Animal and Warlord come in for the power off, with an exchange of shoulders going to a standoff. Animal’s flying clothesline (which almost goes over the head) drops Warlord and it’s off to Hercules for a clothesline of his own. Bulldog comes in and gets knocked down as well, with Warlord adding the elbow drops. Warlord ducks his head so Bulldog can get in a leapfrog but Roma cuts off a powerslam attempt. The villains take turns stomping on Bulldog until Warlord gets most of a full nelson. Bulldog starts to power out and everything breaks down….for a double DQ at 7:17.

Rating: D+. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Power & Glory were about to lose to the LOD in less than a minute at Wrestlemania but they can’t do a job here in a six man tag off a fluke rollup or something? After the rest of this wretched tape, you would think we could have one more actual win for the good guys but nah, let’s just keep doing weak stuff like this to wrap up the tape.

Mooney wraps it up and is driven away in a jeep (or tank, according to HHH), but isn’t pleased with his driver’s abilities. Yeah seriously that’s all they have for the big closing. You’re surprised?

Overall Rating: D. Piper vs. Perfect aside, this was one of the worst tapes I can remember coming from Coliseum Video. It’s one pitiful match after another with people not being able to take a pin for whatever reason, despite this being released months later. Some of these finishes actually had me getting mad, which came after seeing some of what we were watching (Roberts vs. Kato actually being booked is amazing in its own right). Absolutely horrible stuff here, though Piper vs. Perfect is definitely worth a look.

 

 

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Battle Of The WWF Superstars: Exactly. What? (Includes Full Video)

Battle Of The WWF Superstars
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes, Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura, Hillbilly Jim
Host: Sean Mooney

This is a Coliseum Video from around 1990, which is quite the fun time from the company. I remember seeing this in the video store as a kid so I’m sure I’ve seen it a few times before, though I don’t remember a single thing about it. That often makes for the best possible option as I’m basically coming into it blind. Just please don’t be bad. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show, which has a theme of war, meaning Mooney is in camouflage and a helmet. He hopes we need to avoid the agony of defeat and runs down the card (in what sounds like a Patton impression).

Rhythm And Blues (with Jimmy Hart) promise a lot of singing, dancing and guitaring.

The Bushwhackers say….oh pretty much exactly what you would expect them to say about Rhythm And Blues.

From New York City, New York, April 30, 1990.

Rhythm And Blues vs. Bushwhackers

Jimmy Hart is here as well. Luke (still in his hat) works on Honky Tonk Man’s arm to start as commentary tries to figure out how the Bushwhackers are related. Honky Tonk Man fights back and ax handles Luke on the ropes, only to get ax handled in the back. Butch makes things serious by going after Honky Tonk Man’s hair before grabbing the mic and calling him GREASEBALL. Or is he talking about Valentine?

Either way the villains go to leave but Hart (in an Earthquake jacket rather than a Rhythm And Blues jacket) calls them back. Valentine comes back in to elbow Luke down and it’s time for some strutting. Butch comes back in for some double clotheslines and it’s time for more whacking. Honky Tonk Man takes Butch into the corner though and it’s time to start the slow beating but we get the nearly required heel collision. Monsoon: “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make a duck out of him.” Heenan: “Exactly. What?”

A clothesline puts Luke down though and it’s time to take turns with various forearms. Honky Tonk Man’s fist drop sets up the chinlock, with Butch getting to play cheerleader. Valentine tries to come in to cut off the comeback but hits Honky Tonk Man by mistake. Butch comes in to clean house and everything breaks down, with Luke chasing Honky Tonk Man to the back with a chair. Unfortunately Valentine is the only one left in the ring and the Bushwhackers are counted out at 13:03.

Rating: D+. One of the points of a tag match starting things off is to have some fun, usually in a fast paced style. Instead, this went long, wasn’t any good, and ended with a lame countout. It’s not like this was some red hot feud or anything. You really didn’t have a Rockers match laying around somewhere instead?

Post match Valentine beats on Butch some more until Luke makes the save with the chair. Of note, Hart celebrating the win is one of the reasons he was so good at his job. In theory, Hart should be especially happy because his team won and therefore they get more money. That’s a logical reaction for him and he sold it perfectly.

Mooney explains the tournament (that voice he’s doing is getting really annoying) for the vacant Intercontinental Title, as Ultimate Warrior had to vacate the belt after winning the WWF Title. We skip the first two rounds and arrive at the finals.

From Austin Texas, April 23, 1990. This is the tournament final, which of course was taped one day before the last match of the first round. Wrestling is weird.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Tito Santana

For the vacant title and commentary argues about who would be the favorite. Ventura: “You and I come from different sides of the street.” That’s one way to put it. Perfect grabs an early waistlock so Santana elbows him in the face, much to Ventura’s annoyance. They go to the mat with Santana working on the arm, which Ventura says is Perfect testing how far Santana will go with the rule breaking.

Santana knocks him outside before throwing him back inside for the slingshot shoulder. The armbarring continues, with even Ventura admitting that it’s a nice one. That’s broken up so they run the ropes, with Perfect tripping him out to the floor for a crash. Naturally this leads to an argument over whether that was luck or skill, because that’s what Ventura and McMahon would do.

A quick sunset flip gives Santana two so Perfect clotheslines him neck first into the ropes (ouch). Santana is fine enough to crotch him on the post and wrap the leg around the post. Back in and Santana starts on the leg, including wrapping it around the rope. Cue Bobby Heenan as Santana tries the Figure Four, which is reversed into a small package for two. Heenan even gets on the apron for a distraction and a small package gives Perfect the pin and the title at 7:31.

Rating: B-. Shockingly, two talented wrestlers have a good match, with the stakes making it all the better. Perfect was a great choice for the title, as he had been built up for a long time and needed something to cement him as a star. At the same time, Santana was the ideal choice for him to beat, as he was just good enough to feel like a serious threat to take the title as well.

Post match Perfect introduces Heenan as his new champion. Why he has an old tag belt instead of the Intercontinental Title isn’t clear.

Dusty Rhodes talks about his daughter laying her head on his chest and hearing the heartbeat of America. You might want to get that checked.

From New York City, New York, February 19, 1990.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Akeem

Sapphire and Slick are here too, with Sapphire knocking him out to the floor before the bell. Akeem backs him into the corner to start and gets elbowed in the head, meaning it’s time for both of them to gyrate a bit. The threat of another elbow drops Akeem, with Rhodes laughing at the idea that he didn’t even have to hit Akeem.

Back in and another elbow sends Akeem into the ropes, with the arms getting tied up. Akeem knocks him down as well though and a nerve hold goes on. As Heenan continues to rant about Sapphire not being a manager, Slick gets in a cheap shot on Rhodes, allowing Akeem to elbow Rhodes in the back of the head (Rhodes: “OH S***!”).

Rhodes fights out of another nerve hold and gets in some less than great looking right hands in the corner. Akeem’s bearhug doesn’t last long and Rhodes start elbowing, with Sapphire cutting Slick off. Akeem gets a lot more evil by going after Sapphire, with Slick shoving her as well. The dancing Slick knees Akeem by mistake though and Rhodes beats the count at 9:03.

Rating: C-. Ok so the match wasn’t great, but Rhodes was doing his thing and the managers were running around on the floor for the sake of some humor. That’s all this needed to be and while it wasn’t good, it was entertaining enough. Rhodes was hardly a great star in the ring, but he knew what he was doing out there every single time.

Rhodes, in an apron with no shirt underneath, is at a butcher shop. We see various meat and that’s it. Rhodes: “You sure can’t beat my meat.”

From Fresno, California, August 9, 1989.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Big Boss Man

Slick is here with Boss Man but this is the pre-Sapphire days. They circle each other a bit to start with Boss Man shoving him down. Rhodes is right back up with a knockdown of his own but an elbow drop misses. The neck crank doesn’t last long and Rhodes is back up with the elbow to the head. The big elbow drop connects but Slick comes in for the DQ at 2:56. Why did they even include this?

Post match the beatdown is on but Rhodes fights back, steals the nightstick and hat, and kidnaps Slick. Boss Man’s response to this is to yell a lot while standing in the ring.

Rhodes is now at a stable and shovels manure, which he calls “fuel”.

From Phoenix, Arizona, February 13, 1990.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

Queen Sherri is here with Savage while Rhodes has Sapphire. Rhodes knocks Savage to the floor and the women argue, allowing Savage to come right back in and jump him to start fast. Savage knocks him into the corner to start but makes the mistake of going after Sapphire, meaning it’s time for the early elbows. Rhodes gets knocked outside though and it’s the top rope ax handle to the head back inside.

The chinlock doesn’t last long so Savage sends him outside again for another ax handle. Rhodes starts shaking his head though and that’s never a good sign. Sherri gets in a few shots so Rhodes goes after her, allowing Savage to get in a cheap shot to take over again. That’s enough of a distraction for Savage to get in a shot with the loaded purse for two so Sherri offers a distraction.

Savage’s choking triggers the Hulk Up (with Rhodes even putting his hands on his hips while on his knees for a funny visual) and Rhodes sends him crashing into the corner. Sherri decks Sapphire to little avail as Sapphire is back up to steal the loaded purse. Savage is knocked out to the floor for a ridiculously fast countout at 7:11.

Rating: C-. This was about as basic of a version of their match as you could get, as that purse was in there almost every time. It wasn’t like you were watching this match for the quality, but Rhodes was never exactly one to burn up the mat in the WWF. The match made sense on paper, but the execution wasn’t quite working.

Post match Rhodes tells Sherri, who he calls a “street walker” to get her “a**” in the ring if she wants some of Rhodes’ brown sugar (meaning Sapphire). And of course Sapphire drops her in a hurry.

Alfred Hayes shows us a sped up video of an arena being set up for a WWF show, going all the way to the opening bell. Of note: he says they’re in Binghamton, New York, where “no less than 20,000 fans” will be here. That arena holds a capacity of 7,200 people and at one point in 1990, the WWF reportedly drew 2,300 to a house show in the arena. What a liar.

It’s time for the Fan Favorite Match, meaning a fan requested this match.

From New York City, New York, January 15, 1990.

The Genius vs. Jim Neidhart

The lying is spreading around here as there is no way this match was requested. Genius gets to prance a bit to start and throws in a cartwheel, plus a standing backflip. They finally lock up and Genius is shoved down with ease. Neidhart shoves him down again and Genius blames a non-existent hair pull. Genius has an idea and tries to shove Neidhart away, only to fall flat on his face in a funny bit.

Neidhart knocks him to the floor, gets annoyed at Genius’ cartwheel, and throws him out again. The chase goes to the Genius, who catches Neidhart with a dropkick on the way back in. Genius punches away but a running crossbody gives Neidhart a quick two. A knockdown lets Genius go up but his moonsault hits raised knees. Genius charges into a boot in the corner and the chase is on outside. Cue Mr. Perfect with a scroll shot to the head to give Genius the pin at 9:20.

Rating: C+. This was little more than a comedy match for the most part, with Genius playing well into his strengths. That’s something he did well for his entire time in the WWF and it worked again here. Neidhart was fine as a foil and having Perfect cheat to cost him the match worked. They didn’t overthink this and it went fine as a result.

From New York City, New York, December 28, 1989.

Ted DiBiase vs. Jake Roberts

No DQ and Virgil is barred from ringside. DiBiase bails outside to start before going back inside for a quickly broken lockup. Roberts snaps off the left hands and the big right hand puts DiBiase on the floor for an early breather. Back in and Roberts starts in on the arm with a variety of crankings to put DiBiase down. Roberts lifts him up by the arm before grabbing a hammerlock on the mat. DiBiase reverses into one of his own, which is broken up just as fast.

An elbow sends DiBiase back to the floor, where it’s time to hold his arm for a bit. Back in and Roberts is right back to the arm as this is going about as well as most of their matches. DiBiase fights to his feet and gets taken down back down, meaning they get to lay around for more arm work. Roberts gets knocked into the ropes, with his eyes getting tied up, allowing DiBiase to slowly hammer away.

A swinging neckbreaker stays on the neck (that DiBiase previously injured) and a piledriver lets DiBiase gloat before getting two. Naturally we hit the chinlock as I try to figure out why they bothered with the No DQ. Maybe they have something else, but we’re over twelve minutes into this and there has been nothing that makes the stipulation necessary. The comeback is cut off with a quick clothesline, meaning more stalling can ensue. The chinlock goes on again for awhile, with DiBiase covering for two.

A middle rope ax handle misses though and they go outside, with the chase allowing Roberts to hit a running knee lift. Roberts slugs away…and charges into a knee in the corner to slow things right back down. The Million Dollar Dream goes on but Roberts falls into the ropes. That means Roberts crashes out to the floor, where he pulls a yelling DiBiase shoulder first into the post. Back in and Roberts actually goes aerial (!) for a middle rope knee and there’s the short arm clothesline. The DDT finishes DiBiase clean at 18:37.

Rating: D. It was long, it was boring, and there was absolutely no need for the No DQ rule. Other than maybe the posting near the end (and that’s a huge stretch), they did nothing that stood out in any way. These two had all kinds of matches against each other but for some reason it always wound up going this way. Just more boring stuff here and it felt like it went on forever.

Post match Roberts grabs the Million Dollar Title but now Virgil shows up to take it back.

And now, trivia!

What was the first match at Wrestlemania I?

Who sang the National Anthem at Wrestlemania I?

How much weight did Dino Bravo bench press?

Wrestlemania II was held in which three cities?

Who was the female co-host in each city?

What was the record-setting attendance at Wrestlemania III?

What is the name of Sean Mooney’s identical twin brother?

Who did Randy Savage beat to win the WWF Title at Wrestlemania IV?

Who returned to the WWF on the Brother Love Show at Wrestlemania V?

What rank did Sean Mooney have on this tape?

Eh I’ve heard weaker tests.

From Lacrosse, Wisconsin, May 15, 1990.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Mr. Perfect

Only Warrior is defending and Perfect bails outside for his entrance, which is probably not a bad idea. Perfect tries to jump him from behind but gets tossed outside without much trouble. The beating goes outside until Warrior brings him back in for the big running shoulders. It works so well that they do it again, followed by Warrior sending him face first into the buckle, with Perfect clearly doing all of the work.

The Warrior Splash misses though and Perfect kicks him in the ribs a few times, followed by some chops on the floor. Back in and a middle rope fist to the jaw doesn’t even knock Warrior down. Something like a top rope double stomp to a standing Warrior (even commentary didn’t think it looked good) drops him but the PerfectPlex gets two. The shoulders and Splash retain the title at 5:53.

Rating: D. What was that? You show Perfect winning the title an hour and a half ago and he loses in a short match here where his finisher doesn’t work. Oh and Heenan wasn’t even here to make up for some of Warrior’s issues. At the end of the day, Warrior looked miserable out there and that’s a big issue. If you’re a month and a half into your title reign, you should be able to show some energy in a five minute match. Come on already.

And of course Mooney knocks himself out with his gun to end the tape.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s a bad sign when the best match on the tape is a just ok match between Santana and Perfect. That was almost completely negated by the terrible main event and the even worse DiBiase vs. Roberts match. This was a good example of just how bad things were when Hogan wasn’t around, as he at least could have breathed some life into this thing. Rather terrible offering here, with Neidhart vs. Genius of all things being the second best match.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter and Bluesky @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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WWE Vault: Best Of The Big Boss Man: Like A Boss (Full Video Included)

Best Of Big Boss Man
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Rick Stewart, Lord Alfred Hayes, Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper, Bobby Heenan, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is one of the signature series of the WWE Vault as you get to see various wrestlers throughout their careers. In this case it’s someone who is one of the most memorable parts of the company in his day but he only had so much success. This should be a lot of fun as I was quite the fan so let’s get to it.

As usual, we open with a quick intro.

From Starrcade 1986.

Big Bubba Rogers vs. Ron Garvin

Street fight (meaning you win by pinfall or a ten count) and Jim Cornette is here with Rogers (as he was Cornette’s bodyguard). Garvin punches him in the face to start and Bubba is actually staggered, which wasn’t something that happened very often back then. For some reason Garvin agrees to a test of strength but tis a ruse as he hits Bubba in the face again, this time for a trip to the floor.

Back in and Bubba powers him into the corner and then sends him outside (Cornette: “GARVIN’S A COWARD! HE’S TRYING TO RUN!”). Garvin gets back in and gets sent back outside, where he grabs a drink to throw into Bubba’s face. Now the punches start working and Garvin chokes away a bit, only to get kneed in the face. A splash in the corner gives Bubba eight and some hard stomping gets the same, even with Garvin busted open.

Bubba drops an elbow for two and then stands up, allowing Garvin to get up at an eight count (as I try to figure out if that makes sense). A rope gets brought in so Garvin punches him down and chokes with said rope, followed by a bite to bust Bubba open. Bubba is able to come right back with a bearhug, only for Garvin to use some hard headbutts to break it up. Garvin knocks him out to the floor for a six (Cornette: “BUBBA! FIGHT BACK!”) but Garvin just hits Bubba in the head a few more times.

Bubba might hit him low as they go back inside, where Garvin gets in a slam off the top. The kickout sends Garvin onto the referee so he muscles Bubba up for a Texas piledriver. That earns him a tennis racket shot to the head and they’re both out at ten. That doesn’t work though so it’s the first man to his feet to win. Cornette comes in to yell and gets shoved down by the referee, allowing him to to hit Garvin in the knee with the racket. That’s enough for Bubba to be up first for the win at 11:52.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t exactly what you would expect from a street fight, but it was two hard hitting guys beating each other up. I could have gone for a little something more, but at least they felt like they were having a fight. Garvin was laying in those shots and HIT HIM IN THE FACE is quite the logical way to go. Cornette cheating was exactly what you would expect from him and it fit in well with the ending.

From New York City, March 18, 1989.

Big Boss Man vs. Hulk Hogan

In a cage in MSG and Slick is here with the Boss Man. Well in theory as Hogan chases Slick off before getting inside. Hayes says he’s never seen someone climb over the top and get into a cage. This isn’t even the first time he’s called a match where Hogan came in that way. Hogan chokes him with the shirt from behind to start and sends Boss Man into the corner for some running clotheslines.

One of them puts Boss Man down and sets up a suplex as Hogan is rather energetic here. Boss Man gets in a shot of his own and goes up but Hogan is there to chop away on the ropes. Hogan catches him on top and they strike it out, only for Hogan to be shoved down in a bit crash. That’s enough for Boss Man to get over the top but Hogan is up again, this time with the superplex off the top of the cage, which is nowhere near as epic as the famous one on Saturday Night’s Main Event.

The big crash leaves both of them down for a good while until Hogan crawls over to the door. Boss Man gets the boot for the save and Hogan bites him on the head. A spinebuster cuts Hogan off again so Boss Man can choke with a rope. Back up and they ram each other into the cage for another double down. As you might have expected, Hogan gets up first and starts the big comeback, including some rams into the cage.

Boss Man is busted open and Hogan drops the leg so Slick decks the referee and comes inside. This goes as well as you would expect, with Hogan handcuffing Boss Man to the cage. Hogan climbs over as Slick gets the key in, beating him to the floor and hitting Boss Man with a chair as the referee gets up for the win at 11:15.

Rating: B-. It’s no surprise that these two work so well together as they did this match all over the place (including the same day in Boston). Boss Man was as natural of an opponent as Hogan could have had and that’s why he was this role so soon after coming over. It’s not as good as the famous one, but it still worked fine, especially for a house show match.

From Wrestlemania VII.

Before the match, Big Boss Man promises to take the Intercontinental Title from Mr. Perfect, but he’s also out for revenge for Bobby Heenan insulting Boss Man’s mother. The Heenan Family has been mowed down one by one, but now Perfect is the only one left. It’s time for revenge.

Heenan promises to give the people a free look at a law enforcement officer getting a beating. Perfect describes how perfect he happens to be and we’re ready to go.

Intercontinental Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mr. Perfect

Perfect, with Heenan, is defending and Boss Man’s weight loss is remarkable. He’s probably lost about 80lbs since the cage match with Hogan, which was about two years earlier. That’s amazing and he looks FAR better here. Boss Man throws the towel back at Perfect to start and then spits at him before heading outside. Perfect gets punched around ringside and then thrown inside for another beating, including swinging him around BY THE HAIR (GEEZ).

A quick shot to the throat finally cuts Boss Man off and we hit the chinlock, with Perfect starting in on the back. The abdominal stretch goes on and Heenan is demanding the bell is rung. There has to be a Montreal joke there somewhere. Perfect hits a dropkick into the necksnap but the PerfectPlex is countered into a small package. Instead Perfect comes back with something close to a running Blockbuster (with Bossman’s legs almost getting bent backwards underneath him).

Perfect goes up but gets knocked out of the air, sending Heenan into panic mode. Boss Man crotches him against the post but Heenan offers a distraction, allowing Perfect to get in a ram into the steps. That’s a bit too far though and here is ANDRE THE GIANT (thankfully able to walk) to even things up. Andre picks up the title and wacks Perfect in the head, leaving both of them down. Boss Man slowly goes over…and the Heenan Family runs in for the DQ at 10:46.

Rating: C+. These guys had some rather nice chemistry together and it wound up working well, with both of them getting in some offense. It still doesn’t make a ton of sense to have Perfect retain the title here, as he could have gotten it back to drop it to Bret Hart at Summerslam. Either way, the match worked out well, with Boss Man doing some of his best work at this point.

Post match the brawl is on, with Andre helping Boss Man clean house. Andre leaves and Boss Man comes up from behind him and grabs him by the shoulder, with Andre looking like he’s ready to kill him. Everything is cool though.

From Summerslam 1991.

Big Boss Man vs. The Mountie

The loser spends the night in jail and Jimmy Hart is here with the Mountie. Boss Man slugs away to start and knocks Mountie down, only to have Mountie get away from the running crotch attack against the rope. Instead Hart offers a distraction, allowing Mountie to poke him in the eye. Mountie is pulled out of the air, which is rather impressive, and sets up a hard spinebuster. Hart offers another distraction so Mountie can get in a cheap shot to take over.

Back in and a jumping elbow to the back of the face drops Boss Man again. Boss Man misses a charge into the corner to make it even worse, followed by some elbows for a really lazy looking cover. A forearm to the chest knocks Boss Man off the apron and a piledriver gets two back inside. Mountie stands around for a long time until Hart gets up for the distraction. The shock stick doesn’t connect though and it’s a Boss Man Slam…for two? Well that isn’t something you see very often. Instead it’s one heck of an Alabama Slam to give Boss Man the pin at 9:37.

Rating: B-. The Alabama Slam alone was worth a look, as Boss Man laid him out with that thing. Other than that, it was one of the last big time Boss Man matches, even without much of a reason for doubt. Boss Man going to jail isn’t exactly a thing, while Mountie going to jail has quite the comedic potential. Which is what wound up happening.

Post match Mountie is sent into the police van and taken away….and we don’t see the rest, though this isn’t about him.

From Spring Stampede 1994 (and since we’re in WCW, he has a very original new name).

The Boss vs. Vader

Harley Race is here with Vader. The brawl starts on the ramp, with Race holding Boss but getting crushed by Vader by mistake. Boss knocks Vader over the rope and inside as the bell rings, meaning it’s time to strike away. A big boot and running right hand knock Vader back onto the ramp, where he hits a hard clothesline of his own. Vader throws him over the top and back inside, where a running splash (from the ramp and over the top) hits raised knees.

They go back outside with Vader being sent into the barricade and then then dropped onto it via quite the power display from Boss. Back in again and a rather easy looking slam drops Vader again but he gets back up. They slug it out and Vader gives him a backdrop over the top, with Boss barely getting the rope to help with the flip over. A splash crushes Boss back inside and Vader unloads in the corner.

Back up and Boss slugs away, including a running clothesline to the bleeding Vader. Boss gets run over again so Vader goes up, where Boss powerbombs him down for quite the impressive crash. A middle rope DDT gives Boss two so he goes up for a high crossbody of all things. That looked a bit weird and it makes sense as Boss goes up again but gets powerslammed off the top. The Vader Bomb only gets two so it’s a top rope moonsault to finish Boss at 9:04.

Rating: B+. This was one of Boss’s best matches ever, as he knew how to have a fight rather than wrestling. That’s exactly what it felt like here, as Boss was more than capable of hanging with Vader physically. There is very little in wrestling more entertaining than watching two big guys beating the living daylights out of each other until one of them falls and that’s what we got here. Awesome power brawl.

Post match Race loads up the handcuffs but Boss (or BOSS MAN according to Heenan) fight shim off and unloads on both of them with the nightstick.

From Fall Brawl 1994 and he’s now the Guardian Angel, which was a real group of citizen police. In other words, the WWF threatened to sue, which made sense in this case as THE BOSS might as well have been the exact same gimmick as he had in the WWF.

Guardian Angel vs. Vader vs. Sting

This is a triangle match (meaning two of them have a match and the winner faces the other man in a second match) for a future World Title match and Harley Race is here with Vader. They flip coins and Sting is the odd man out so it’s Vader vs. Angel, winner faces Sting immediately after. Angel gets in Sting’s face and tells him to stay out of this, with Sting agreeing but not liking the tone at all.

They shove each other a bit to start and then go to a test of strength, with Vader powering him down. Vader unloads on him in the corner but some running clotheslines give Angel a breather. The slam doesn’t work though and Vader is right back with the forearms in the corner. Guardian gets in a shot of his own and manages a rather impressive slam. An elbow between the legs sets up a less than successful slam attempt and Vader drops him face.

The chinlock goes on for a bit, only for Angel to fight up and hit a running crossbody for two. Another running charge sends Vader outside in a heap and Angel is back up. Vader decks Race by mistake and a slam gives Angel two back inside. The sliding uppercut underneath the ropes connects with Vader’s jaw but the referee gets bumped, meaning the Boss Man Slam gets no count. Race gets up and hits Angel, allowing the Vader Bomb to put him away at 7:07.

After a brief rest period, Sting comes out and we’re ready for the second round. Vader shoves him around to start and backs him into the corner, where Sting Hulks Up. That earns him the standing splash for the easy knockdown, followed by the Vader Bomb. Rather than covering, Vader tries it again but Sting cuts him off. Sting strikes away until a shot to the face drops him just as fast. Another Vader Bomb misses and Sting clotheslines him over the top. Sting suplexes Race on the floor and Vader back inside, followed by a splash…which hits raised knees.

The moonsault misses for Vader though and the fans are going nuts, despite Sting not doing much here. A superplex drops Vader again and the big elbow actually connects for Sting. The Samoan drop gives Sting two more and he German suplexes Vader down (that looked great) for two. Back up and Vader fires off the forearms, which trigger the Hulk Up. Sting drops him again with four minutes left and some top rope clotheslines have Vader in more trouble.

The top rope splash gets two with two minutes left and Vader is back up with a belly to back suplex. Vader goes up but dives into a powerslam, as tends to happen to him. Sting gets two off a clothesline and grabs the Scorpion but can’t get it all the way on as time expires at 25:56 total (15:00 of Sting vs. Vader).

Therefore it’s a five minute overtime and Vader kicks Sting down, followed by a hard suplex for two. Sting is sat on top but breaks up a superplex attempt with three minutes left. Vader crashes down but Sting is too banged up to do anything other than get down and weakly cover for two. This time it’s Vader going up and getting super backdropped down. Vader clotheslines him down for two more as we have a minute to go. A big splash gives Vader two more and he hits the powerbomb but takes too long to cover as time expires at 32:14.

So it’s now sudden death, meaning it’s the first person to be knocked down loses. Vader starts slugging away and Sting can barely stay up as he staggers to the ropes in a great visual. A big collapse into the corner isn’t enough for a knockdown and Vader is getting mad. Well madder. Sting fights back and knocks Vader against the ropes so Race gets on the apron. Cue the Guardian Angel to cut him off, with the referee following them. Sting drops the referee but a masked man (who has been causing issues as of late) runs in to deck Sting, allowing Vader to get up and win at 34:26.

Rating: B+. This is a weird one, as it’s literally two falls in one match with different wrestlers involved. The Angel vs. Vader stuff is decent, but Sting vs. Vader is the usual incredible showdown. It took some time to warm up but once they got going, it was a huge slugfest, with Sting staggering to stay on his feet being excellent stuff. If nothing else, this made Vader look like a killer, as he beat both guys back to back.

From Monday Night Raw, November 30, 1998.

Hardcore Title: Big Boss Man vs. Mankind

Mankind, with the JOB Squad, is defending in a ladder match and Commissioner Shawn Michaels is here with Boss Man. The Squad is chased off to start and Boss Man hits him in the head with the nightstick. Mankind is right back with a ladder to the head (Shawn gives it a minus two) and then drops the ladder onto Boss Man (Shawn gives it a one). They get inside and Mankind goes up but dives onto Boss Man rather than go for the belt.

An elbow to the ladder with Boss Man inside (good for a six) crushes him again and there’s a double arm DDT to keep him down. Boss Man cuts off the climb though and sends Mankind into the ladder in the corner. That’s good for a ten from Shawn but Mankind uses Socko to cut off a climb. Cue the Rock (in a shirt, trunks and tennis shoes for a weird look) to shove the ladder over and hit a Rock Bottom. Boss Man gets the title (his first in the WWF or WCW) at 6:20.

Rating: C. There’s a reason this time period is so well remembered, as there was so much going on. This match had interference, a ladder, Michaels’ running score gag, and the Rock in that weird get up. That’s quite a bit to cover in one match, which doesn’t even hit six and a half minutes. And it’s for the Hardcore Title. At least Boss Man finally got his hands on some gold, which was something he had earned over the years.

Post match the beatdown stays on for a bonus.

From Monday Night Raw, December 14, 1998.

Tag Team Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Big Boss Man/Ken Shamrock

Boss Man and Shamrock, with Shawn Michaels, are challenging. Boss Man shoulders Gunn down a few times to start so Gunn tells him to bring it. Some dropkicks clear the ring and even Dogg gets in one of his own. Back in and Boss Man gets in a shot to Gunn’s leg and take over. Shamrock knows how to go after a limb and takes the knee pad down to stay on the leg. Some elbows to the leg leave Gunn unable to run the ropes and Dogg comes in for a quick shot for a breather.

Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but gets countered into a sitout powerbomb. That’s enough for the tag off to Dogg but Michaels chairs him in the back. The Boss Man Slam is good for two so Gunn is back in, only to get distracted by Michaels. That earns Gunn a nightstick to the head and he’s out as the ankle lock goes on to make Shamrock and Boss Man (already the Intercontinental and Hardcore Champion) Tag Team Champions at 6:47.

Rating: C. This was another match where they packed in quite a bit of stuff, though thankfully not as bad as the previous one. At the same time, I’m really not sure that a mega stable like the Corporation needed two double champions. There were no other wrestlers who could have taken those titles? Either way, at least Shamrock seemed thrilled with the title win, as you should.

Overall Rating: B-. For lack of a better term, Boss Man was good at being a boss for someone to fight. It made his matches with people like Hogan or Vader work so well, as Boss Man had the size to match up with them, but he could also be a big power guy against more normal sized opposition. He had a sneaky good collection of matches as well, as once he slimmed down and figured out his style, it was working far better. This was a lot of fun and I can see why I was a fan of his for such a long time.

 

 

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #30 (2025 Edition): I Want To Punch Hulk Hogan In The Face (Includes Full Show)

Saturday Night’s Main Event #30
Date: February 8, 1992
Location: Lubbock Municipal Coliseum, Lubbock, Texas
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This isn’t exactly a great time for the show but it’s certainly a star studded show. We’re coming up on Wrestlemania VIII and the big story is that Hulk Hogan is scheduled to get the WWF Title shot against Ric Flair. Sid Justice isn’t happy about Hogan getting the chance and they happen to be teaming up against Flair and Undertaker. Let’s get to it.

We get a rather generic opening sequence showing some of the bigger names on the show. This is very early 90s.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper is defending, which isn’t something you often get to say and Jimmy Hart is here with Mountie. Hart steals the belt before the match so Piper (wrestling in a shirt) sends both of them outside for a double noggin knocker. Back in and Mountie ties him in the Tree of Woe to kick away as we get some comments from Bret Hart, who gets the winner at Wrestlemania (he doesn’t care who he faces).

The referee gets bumped and Mountie hits a piledriver, but Hart hands him some water. Mountie pours the water on Piper and then uses the shock stick…but Piper pops up. A right hand drops Mountie and Piper steals the shock stick to knock him out instead. As luck would have it, the referee is up and Piper retains at 3:31.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but the point was in the surprise of Piper jumping up after the shock stick. Piper had already gotten his big moment of winning the title at the Royal Rumble so this was just a bit of a bonus. Mountie wasn’t going to a long term star around the title picture so having him lose to Piper twice in a row is fine.

Post match Piper takes off his shirt to reveal a vest labeled SHOCK PROOF. Yep, that’s rather fitting of someone as smart as Piper.

We look at the end of the Royal Rumble, with Sid Justice dumping Hulk Hogan but getting tossed by Ric Flair for the win. Note the VERY dubbed audio that has the fans chanting for Hogan, which was absolutely not the case in real time. Sid and Hogan got into it after the match and had to be held apart. Then Hogan got the title shot anyway because…well because Jack Tunney was kind of a goof. Sid was rightfully livid and thinks he’s getting cheated because he’s the newcomer.

But then earlier today, Sid apologized for going too far, especially against Hogan. Uh, right.

Hogan and Sid seem to be ok, but Sid doesn’t get to talk because Hogan wants to talk about going to Wrestlemania. Sid just leaves as Hogan talks and yeah, Hogan has earned whatever he has coming to him.

Ric Flair/Undertaker vs. Sid Justice/Hulk Hogan

Mr. Perfect and Paul Bearer are here with the villains and Hogan brings out Brutus Beefcake as a surprise. Flair and Sid start things off with Sid hitting a big backdrop into a hiptoss. That’s enough to send Flair outside where he seems to be limping a bit, which is made worse as Hogan backdrops and hiptosses him as well.

Undertaker gets hiptossed and it’s back to Sid, who slams him down. Hogan comes back in with a pair of slams as he keeps doing the same things Sid does, but more. Undertaker manages to get in a shot to Sid though and a double clothesline gets two. A double atomic drop puts Sid down again as the villains take over. Hogan makes another save as everything breaks down, with Hogan telling Sid what to do. A double big boot and a double clothesline clear the ring as we take a break.

We come back with Undertaker sneaking up on Sid to take over. Sid gets taken into the corner and Undertaker even gets in a top rope right hand. A double noggin knocker gets Sid out of trouble and Hogan comes in to clean house. Perfect grabs the leg though and Flair gets to start in on the knee.

The Figure Four goes on and Sid isn’t even looking at the ring. Hogan turns it over and escapes as Sid is looking bored on the apron. Undertaker comes back in for the jumping clothesline as Beefcake begs Sid to get in the ring and help. Flair comes in and chops away, which of course triggers the Hulk Up. Hogan knocks them both down and goes for the tag but Sid walks out. The double teaming continues until it’s a DQ at 11:35.

Rating: C. I’ve been a Hogan fan since before I can remember and he’s the reason I got into wrestling in the first place. Watching this match back made me want to see Sid punch him in the mouth. Hogan was an absolute jerk to Sid, both here and at the Rumble (plus in the pre-match promo) and deserved everything that happened to him. And he never even learns as this is eerily similar to what happened with Paul Orndorff six years earlier!

Post match Hogan beats both of them up as Beefcake gets in the ring to watch. Well of course Hogan can just do that.

In the back, Sid isn’t sorry for what happened because Hogan couldn’t beat Flair or himself on his best day.

Post break, Hogan says Sid turned his back on everyone, but thank goodness for Brutus Beefcake (who did….nothing), who was always there for him. Beefcake thanks Hogan for being there in the hospital with him and Hogan dedicates his title match at Wrestlemania (which didn’t happen) to Beefcake, who only had a quick cameo at the show. Of note: this was clearly taped before the match, as Hogan isn’t even sweating just a few minutes after a match.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Duggan backs Blake into the corner to start but gets whipped into…Slaughter, who blocks Duggan from hitting the buckle. The Genius gets in a cheap scroll shot to Duggan and Blake jumps over Beau onto Duggan’s back. Duggan fights out and hands it off to Slaughter, who grabs an abdominal stretch of all things. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits a clothesline for the pin (with the camera looking at Duggan rather than Slaughter’s cover) at 2:39. Nothing to this one.

Randy Savage talks about Jake Roberts making him inside. Oh Randy that ship sailed a long time ago.

Jake Roberts vs. Randy Savage

Savage jumps him from behind to start and sends Roberts into the post, possibly breaking Roberts’ nose. They get inside with Savage hammering away but a poke to the eye cuts him off. Savage is sent outside but comes back in, where Roberts sends him into the buckle. And then outside again. Roberts sends him into the barricade and we take a break. We come back with Savage crawling back inside, where Roberts punches him out of the air and hits the DDT. The short arm clothesline lets Roberts applaud a bit but the DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor. Back in and the big elbow finishes Roberts at 5:25.

Rating: B-. These two always seemed like they were ready to kill each other but they never had that one huge match. The one at Tuesday In Texas was white hot but it only works so well with such a short amount of time. At least Savage got the pin and survived the DDT, which really should be the end of the feud.

Post match Savage grabs his trusty ring bell but referees and agents cut him off. Elizabeth comes out to celebrate with Savage…as Roberts is waiting on them behind the curtain after the show. While it wasn’t shown here (but later aired on Superstars), Roberts grabbed a chair and was going to smash one of them as they came through the curtain.

That would be Elizabeth, but Undertaker of all people grabbed the chair from him, allowing Elizabeth to escape and Savage to chair Roberts down. Commentary sold the heck out of this, with both of them swearing, as Vince even called Sid a son of a b****. And that’s how Undertaker turned face in an awesome segment that showed there was a point even he wouldn’t cross.

Overall Rating: C+. You could tell that the steam was WAY out of Saturday Night’s Main Event at this point but this one did at least set up a few things at Wrestlemania. The wrestling wasn’t much to see though and the Hogan praise was insufferable. The good thing is it only ran an hour, as this was all about the angles and that wasn’t going to last much longer. We got enough Hogan stuff just in this show, and thank goodness he was leaving soon after this because it was almost impossible to take. Not a great show, but it did serve a purpose.

 

 

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WWF Live Event – November 30, 1991: That’s Why It Doesn’t Work (Includes Full Show)

WWF House Show
Date: November 30, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Lord Alfred Hayes

Eh let’s have some fun with something like this as the house shows are almost always a good time. We are freshly off the Survivor Series, meaning Undertaker is actually the WWF Champion at the moment. That’s not something you see very often at this point but it could make for something interesting. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, as this is from the WWE Old School series.

Commentary welcomes us to the show and you can see Tito Santana (El Matador in this case) coming to the ring behind them.

Tito Santana vs. Kato

Oh this is a house show opener for sure. Kato tries to jump him to start and gets armdragged down for his efforts. Some shots against the ropes slow Santana a bit and he can’t get an O’Connor roll. A running clothesline works a bit better though and Kato crashes out to the floor. Back in and the armdrag into the armbar has Kato in more trouble as commentary talks about Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair.

A hiptoss takes Kato back down and we hit the armbar again. Kato finally fights up and grabs a backbreaker for his first real offense. Another backbreaker gives Kato two and we hit the reverse chinlock, though Heenan wants a Boston crab. Santana powers up, with McMahon going into a bizarre (for him) explanation of the physics of how Santana is doing this the hard way. Kato’s rollup with feet on the ropes gets two so Santana gives him a faceplant. Another knockdown sets up El Paso del Muerte (Flying Salsa according to Heenan) to finish Kato at 10:05.

Rating: C. Santana is almost as perfect of an opening match wrestler as you can get as the fans know and respect him. It made for a fine match, even against a low level tag wrestler like Kato. The comeback worked and while the match might not have been anything great, it did exactly what it needed to do.

Texas Tornado vs. Berzerker

Berzerker jumps him to start and hits a big (furry) boot but misses a dropkick. Tornado slugs away and clotheslines him to the floor (with Tornado trying a second one and hitting Berzerker’s upside down feet). Back in and Tornado misses a charge into the post and they head outside, where Berzerker is sent into the steps. That’s enough for the countout at 2:02, likely because Tornado appeared to be somewhere over Jupiter. Vince: “That’s one of the strangest matches I’ve ever seen in Madison Square Garden.”

Virgil vs. Skinner

Virgil throws the punches to start and gets slapped in the corner for his efforts. This leaves Vince to ask Alfred about rumors of a comeback, with Hayes, who hadn’t wrestled in eight and a half years, laughing it off. Skinner bails to the floor before coming back in, with Virgil backing him into the corner. An atomic drop sets up a headlock, which is driven into the corner so Skinner can hit a shoulder to the ribs.

Skinner seems to bite Virgil’s ear before sending him outside for the assorted stomping. Back in and Virgil slugs away, only to get tossed to the floor again. A reverse DDT drops Virgil for a terribly slow count, which doesn’t matter anyway as Virgil had a foot on the rope. An elbow to the face gets two more and my goodness the referee is actually getting slower. Vince complains about said referee, saying he was both out of position and “rotund”. Geez man. Anyway, Virgil gets a sunset flip for the pin at 6:08.

Rating: D. I’ve seen Skinner have a good match on occasion, but that was not the case here. This was every bit as dull of a match as you would have expected and it somehow dragged down a show which was already pretty low when this match started. Oh and commentary was right on the referee. That was inexcusable and I’m sure it has to do with the athletic commission, which has a place, but not when it comes to picking referees.

Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair

Mr. Perfect is…not here with Flair, despite being introduced with him. Flair struts on the apron to start and the chase is on, with Flair managing to strike away in the corner back inside. Hogan switches places and fires off the chops, followed by a running clothesline. A hiptoss is blocked and Hogan knocks him to the floor, meaning it’s time for some quick posing.

Flair gets sent into various hard objects and a clothesline sends him into the fans. Back in and something is stuck to Flair’s back but falls off when he grabs a belly to back suplex. That’s shrugged off for a hard whip into the corner, leaving Flair to hit the ineffective chops. Going to the eyes only gets Flair so far as he heads up top, only to crash down in the exactly expected manner. The big boot and legdrop connect but Flair gets his foot on the rope just in time. That means Hogan has to yell at the referee, allowing Flair to kick at the knee.

NOW Mr. Perfect comes to the ring, allowing Flair to wrap the knee around the post. Perfect does it as well and then rams the knee onto the apron, with Heenan thinking his monitor has gone dark. The Figure Four goes on with Perfect grabbing the hands, though Hogan is able to turn it over anyway. Since the referee is a moron, Perfect is able to hand Flair a foreign object for the big knockout pin at 9:25. And hang on as some other officials come out and find the object, meaning it’s a reversed decision.

Rating: C. This was a good example of what was wrong with Hogan vs. Flair: it was really only interesting on paper. They didn’t have much in the way of chemistry and there is only so much drama in Flair using the Figure Four. Outside of some crazy sneaky cheating, Flair feels more like a pest to Hogan than a threat and that’s not going to work. And hey look, it really didn’t.

As usual, Hogan takes his sweet time posing after the match.

It seems that we skip intermission as commentary previews the second half.

Jim Duggan vs. Barbarian

Barbarian throws his….cape? Pelt? Whatever it is, at Duggan, who beats on it with his 2×4 in a funny start. They lock up to start about a minute and a half in and it’s an early standoff. A lockup goes to Barbarian as he shoves Duggan into the corner for some more stalling. Duggan knocks him to the floor, followed by some knees to the ribs back inside as Heenan goes on a pro-Flair rant.

Barbarian comes back with a choke on the ropes and they just start brawling, with the referee doing NOTHING. Vince is all over him (same one as earlier) as Barbarian plants Duggan and grabs the bearhug. Duggan fights out and is quickly cut off with a shot to the ribs. The bearhug sequel goes on and stays for a bit longer, though Duggan slugs out again. Some clotheslines and right hands in the corner rock Barbarian before another clothesline finishes for Duggan at 7:48.

Rating: D+. This is another case where you know what you’re going to get as soon as the match is announced as it’s not like they’re going to do anything else. That doesn’t make it any better, but at least we got to see the worst referee imaginable again. Commentary is right to mock him endlessly, as he does absolutely nothing out there and it just keeps getting worse.

Post match Barbarian jumps him again but Duggan grabs the 2×4 to clear the ring.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. The Mountie

Hart is defending and gets his whole hometown listed while Mountie is just from “Canada”. I guess you have to be a champion to get a city. Then again, law and order represents all of Canada so maybe it’s appropriate. Mountie holds him off with the shock stick so here is the Big Boss Man to take it away, allowing Hart to jump Mountie and start fast. Some rams into the corner and an elbow put Mountie down, followed by an elbow for two.

Mountie comes back with some forearms and a bite to the head, with Vince praising the referee (a WWF regular) for breaking it up. Hart bites him right back as Vince makes sure that Hayes is awake. Some right hands in the corner have Mountie in trouble as Hart is looking more fired up than usual for a house show. Hart’s charge hits the post and Mountie elbows him down for two more.

Now Hart goes chest first into the buckle (there it is) and the reverse chinlock goes on. Mountie even pulls the hair for a bonus, with Heenan saying is a way to grow the hair. With that not working, Mountie puts him in the tree of woe for some upside down hair pulling. Heenan complains about Boss Man taking the shock stick away from the Mountie, who is the Excellence Of Electrocution (if that isn’t an electrical company somewhere in the south, I don’t know what we’re doing).

A chair to the ribs (right in front of the referee) has Hart down again on the floor, followed by a piledriver back inside. Some rams into the buckle give Mountie two but Hart ducks a middle rope crossbody. Hart starts the comeback by slugging away, setting up the Five Mo…well never mind actually as the middle rope elbow is enough for the pin to retain at 12:57.

Rating: C+. The ending was definitely a surprise and I can go with that over seeing the same things over and over again. Hart was clearly rising up the card at this point and there was a reason to believe that he was going to be turning into one of the bigger names. Mountie wasn’t a bad opponent either and this worked well enough.

IRS vs. Big Boss Man

After insulting the litany of tax cheats in New York, IRS bails to the floor. Boss Man picks up the referee and gets jumped from behind, but manages to get a boot up in the corner. That’s enough to send IRS outside again and we hit the stall button again. Back in and Boss Man hits the running crotch attack to the back of the head, followed by a nice ram to the buckle (with the referee getting in the way for a bit before letting it go).

A running splash in the corner crushes IRS again but a missed charge cuts Boss Man off fast. That’s enough to send Boss Man outside and IRS gets in a heck of a posting. Back in and some elbows give IRS two, followed by the abdominal stretch (with a rope grab of course). With that not working, the chinlock goes on, followed by some cranking on the leg to keep things fresh.

Another chinlock goes on but this time Boss Man reverses into a sleeper. That’s broken up as they both fall down (likely out of boredom) before Boss Man misses another charge into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but thankfully Boss Man is out faster this time, setting up a running splash for…no count. Back up and IRS sends him outside, where the Mountie runs in for a running knee. IRS goes up and dives into a raised boot, followed by a regular boot to the face. Mountie gets on the apron so IRS nails Boss Man with the briefcase for the pin at 13:41.

Rating: D+. Boss Man was falling fast by this point and that was on full display here. There was quite a bit going on, but losing a singles match to IRS really isn’t a great sign. This would have been better with about five minutes cut out, but Boss Man’s top days were long gone and this was about as good as it was going to be for the rest of his run with the company. The match was just a bunch of dull stuff with Boss Man trying to get in some offense but not getting anything going. IRS isn’t about to be exciting no matter what he’s doing, so how was this going to work?

Rockers vs. Nasty Boys

The Rockers have been having some issues as of late. We get a long stretch of stalling after the bell, with no contact for the first two minutes of the match. Sags bails to the floor but Knobbs suckers Michaels in for a cheap shot so Sags can take over. Michaels bites the nose to get out of an early bearhug and it’s Jannetty coming in with a double clothesline from the top.

Jannetty comes in and, after about a minute of standing around, Knobbs comes in and gets punched in the face. The jumping back elbow sets up the armbar on Knobbs, who fights up without much trouble. Jannetty sticks the landing on a backdrop attempt and gets two off a rollup, meaning the armbar can go on again. Michaels comes in for his own armbar before doing the same thing to Sags.

The Boys fight back but Michaels is right up top for a shot to the head. Michaels goes after Knobs on the apron though and Sags jumps him from behind to take over. That includes a pair of postings on the floor, setting up the reverse chinlock back inside. After quite a bit of that, Knobbs comes back in for a bearhug as this just keeps going. Sags’ side slam gets two but Michaels is back with a sunset flip…which the referee doesn’t notice for a good while.

Sags kicks out and grabs a bearhug of his own, even taking it to the mat in case the regular version was too interesting. Michaels finally gets his knees up for something close to a low blow and the much needed tag brings in Jannetty to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Knobbs by mistake. Jannetty gets a small package on Sags, which is turned over. Jannetty turns that over as well, but Michaels isn’t paying attention and turns it back over to give Sags the pin at 17:54. Even commentary seems confused.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good and the ending was unique, but the problem here was how uninteresting the whole thing was. You had the long stalling at the beginning and then a lot of laying around in holds. There is something to be gotten from doing a match like that, but there needs to be a lot more than “here’s the same hold for a few minutes and then the same thing from my partner”. We didn’t get there here and it tanked the match.

Michaels explains himself as the issues continue. These two need to talk. Like at a barber shop. About two days from now.

Overall Rating: D. This was pretty dull stuff, with nothing worth going out of your way to see and only a handful of passable matches throughout. Hart was doing his thing well enough and Michaels would be VERY different when they were back here next time, but egads this did not work. I was interested in seeing what they had here and now it’s easy to see why this was such a dead time for the company.

 

 

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WrestleFest 1994: Alas, The One And Only

WrestleFest 1994
Commentators: Stan Lane, Gorilla Monsoon, Johnny Polo
Host: Randy Savage

This is another entry in a series of Coliseum Videos with a bunch of allegedly awesome matches from the time period. That isn’t the most likely situation, as these things are absolutely hit and miss, though the matches teased could be much worse. Hopefully it’s on the good end here so let’s get to it.

The opening sequence likely previews what we’ll be seeing.

Randy Savage is our host and is going to give us fashion tips. Oh this could be fun.

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina (though it also might be January 11, 1994 in Fayetteville, North Carolina as sources vary).

Rick Martel vs. Randy Savage

Savage backs him up to start but Martel does the same, including a slap to the face. That doesn’t seem to be the best idea against a noted psycho like Savage, who chases him to the floor. Back in and Martel does some jumping jacks, followed by even more on the outside. Martel has to jump over him back inside so Savage starts slugging him in the face. That’s enough for Martel to bail out to the floor for a bit, followed by a headlock so Savage can grind away.

An atomic drop can’t even get Martel out of trouble and he eventually sends Savage outside to quite the reaction. A suplex drops Savage for two and we’re off to the reverse chinlock to stay on the back. Savage is back up and knocks him outside for a top rope ax handle out to the floor for two back inside. Martel manages to whip him into the corner but the charge hits the post. The top rope elbow gives Savage the pin at 9:19.

Rating: C+. The more I watch Martel, the more impressed I am with him. He really was that good in the ring and if he had something to freshen him up a bit, he could have gone even further. Savage was just about done in the WWF ring at this point and that’s a shame, as he was still more than acceptable.

Randy Savage doesn’t think much of IRS’ fashion sense. Eh the tie works.

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina (it’s definitely a different arena than Savage vs. Martel, so I’m assuming that was in Fayetteville).

Tag Team Titles: Marty Jannetty/1-2-3 Kid vs. Headshrinkers

Jannetty and the Kid are in a rare defense (as they only held the titles for seven days). After a minute plus of stalling from the Headshrinkers, Jannetty gets knocked away a few times but grabs an armbar to some more success. Kid comes in to stay on the arm but gets knocked down just as fast. Fatu hits a heck of a powerslam for two but Kid gets in a dropkick to send him outside.

The quick dive connects and it’s back to Jannetty, who faceplants Samu to no effect. A nice superkick works better but it’s Fatu coming back in with the big clothesline to take over. The Kid gets drawn in, allowing Fatu to choke away in the corner. Jannetty gets sent hard into the corner, which draws Kid in again, meaning Jannetty is sent into the steps. Samu goes face first into the steps, which he shrugs off for a superkick to Jannetty instead.

Three straight backbreakers give Fatu two, with Monsoon getting ALL OVER HIM for the lazy cover. Fatu tries to block a sunset flip but punches the mat by mistake, allowing the much needed tag to the Kid. An anklescissors out of the corner sends Fatu outside and a double dropkick does the same to Fatu. The moonsault press drops Fatu but he’s up before one. Instead Kid sends him into the ropes, with Samu’s neck getting tied up. Afa comes in with a Samoan drop to the Kid, to give Fatu the pin and the titles at 10:17. And never mind as here’s another referee to say what happened so we’ll call it a DQ to retain the titles instead.

Rating: B. They were rolling by the end here as the Kid and Jannetty were a great choice for the underdogs. At the same time, there was no way they were going to be long term champions so the idea of the Headshrinkers taking the titles here was realistic. Seeing Afa get physical was weird enough, and it came at the end of a good match.

Randy Savage likes his own gear and praises Men On A Mission. Well maybe he’s not worth listening to after all.

From April 28, 1994 in Springfield, Massachusetts, Men On A Mission and Oscar do the WrestleFest 94 Rap. Yes this was a thing and it goes on for a good while.

Randy Savage says black is a good color for Undertaker, but even if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t want Undertaker mad.

From September 28, 1993 in Worcester, Massachusetts.

Undertaker vs. Adam Bomb

Bomb chokes away in the corner to start and sends him outside, where Undertaker is sent into the apron. A hard whip sends Undertaker knees first into the steps but he’s able to slug away back inside. Bomb’s boot to the face doesn’t do much good as it’s a chokeslam to finish him off at 2:42. This was absolutely nothing.

Post match Undertaker chokeslams Johnny Polo for a bonus.

Savage doesn’t like Jeff Jarrett’s clothes either. This stuff isn’t exactly thrilling. Can we get something a bit better to pick up the pace a bit?

From January 12, 1994 in Florence, South Carolina.

Steiner Brothers vs. Bret Hart/Owen Hart

Oh. Ok. Bret and Scott start things off with Bret getting in a fireman’s carry. Scott gets taken over to the rope and it’s back to a standoff. A leg sweep puts Bret down and Scott can grind away at a headlock, followed by a hard shoulder to send Bret outside. Back in and Bret gets two off a rollup before working on an armbar. Owen comes in to go to the mat with Rick, followed by a heck of a spinwheel kick for two on Scott.

That doesn’t work for Scott, who muscles him up with a tiger bomb, with Bret having to make a save. Bret comes in to face Rick, who takes him down by the arm and commences cranking. A slam can’t get Bret out of trouble but a knee to the ribs breaks it up, allowing Bret to miss an elbow. Rick is right back on the armbar, with Bret finally fighting up to hit a dropkick.

A DDT and legdrop keep Rick in trouble, setting up the sleeper. Rick eventually falls forward into the ropes for the break, which earns him a suplex from Bret. With Rick down, Bret goes up but dives into a raised boot. The top rope bulldog gives Rick two (Monsoon doesn’t like the lack of leg hooking) and it’s back to Scott, who avoids a charge to send Bret into the post. Back up and Bret suplexes him over the top and out onto the floor for one heck of a crash.

Owen gives Scott a slam and hits a top rope headbutt to the back for a painful looking crash. The abdominal stretch goes on (Monsoon: “This is not going to work.”) and indeed Scott powers out rather quickly. Instead it’s a belly to belly suplex to give Owen two and it’s back to Bret for the Russian legsweep. Owen comes back in and Bret kicks Scott in the back from the apron, only for Owen to miss a charge. Rick’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and something like a Tombstone powerslam connects for the same.

Scott comes back in for a dragon suplex and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER (that will never be anything less than awesome). Bret has to make the save as Owen is DONE, with Scott sending Owen outside but Owen catapults Scott outside as well. Back in and the diving tag brings Bret in to pick up the pace, with a running clothesline getting two on Scott.

Both Harts try the Sharpshooter with Rick making a save but the Steiner Bulldog is countered into a victory roll to give Owen two. Rick and Bret are both knocked to the floor so Scott drops a top rope ax handle to put Bret down again. That’s enough for the double countout at 24:57.

Rating: A-. Sweet goodness what a match, as you had four incredibly talented wrestlers in there and they all knew exactly what they were doing. The Harts were able to do their thing despite only having so much experience as a team. At the same time, the Steiners were one of the best teams in the world at this point and it was always fun to see them. Definitely check this out if you haven’t before, as it’s the only time it ever happened.

Post match the brawl stays on with referees having to break it up. Owen wants to keep going and Scott gets the mic, saying they’re here to win. The Harts get back in and the fight is on again, with referees and agents not being able to do much to stop them. Monsoon: “Is that Pat Patterson? Holy mackerel did he get fat!” It’s finally broken up but Bret grabs the mic to say they aren’t going anywhere and it’s on again. Eventually things calm down and everyone hugs as this is over thirty minutes from start to end, or nearly a quarter of the tape. That’s hardly a complaint for once.

Savage wonders where Yokozuna gets his gear made but thank Heavens for spandex.

From October 19, 1993 in Glens Falls, New York.

WWF Title: Yokozuna vs. Mr. Perfect

Yokozuna, with Mr. Fuji, is defending and misses a charge to start, allowing Perfect to hammer away. A crossbody literally bounces off of Yokozuna but he misses an elbow. Perfect dropkicks him outside, where Yokozuna staggers into the post in a funny bit. Yokozuna starts to get back in so Perfect uses the rope for a low blow to stagger him again. The dropkick misses though and it’s time to start the slow chops.

Naturally the nerve hold goes on (with Yokozuna’s back to the camera, which doesn’t make much of a difference) until Perfect is knocked outside in a heap. Back in and Perfect manages a ram into the buckle but Yokozuna fights back, with Fuji demanding MORE PUNISHMENT. Perfect avoids a splash in the corner and Perfect strikes away, allowing a middle rope clothesline to finally drop Yokozuna. Fuji grabs the foot though and Yokozuna hits the splash in the corner. The Banzai Drop retains the title at 7:49.

Rating: B-. They kept it moving out there as the worst thing you could do with Yokozuna was have him out there too long. He was the textbook example of someone who was better in shorter doses and Perfect knew how to get the most out of their limited time. It was a nice match, as Perfect mixed things up a bit rather than just doing the standard punches.

Savage counts his hats (with some issues) and praises Bam Bam Bigelow and Luna Vachon’s fashion abilities.

From September 1, 1993 in Saginaw, Michigan.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Michaels, with Diesel, is defending and talks a lot of trash to start, earning himself a toothpick to the face. Ramon isn’t having any of Michaels standing around and throws him into the corner, only for Michaels to get in a ram to the buckle. A middle rope spinning sunset flip is broken up and Ramon punches him outside to quite the positive reception. Back in and Michaels’ attempt at a dropkick is catapulted outside as Michaels gets to keep up the crazy bumping.

Ramon misses a charge into the buckle back inside though and a top rope clothesline takes him down. Diesel almost gets caught interfering and Michaels uses the distraction to get in a cheap shot. Michaels hammers away with the ax handles to the back, plus a knee drop to said back for two. The chinlock goes on to keep Ramon in trouble as the fans are staying right in there with him.

Ramon fights up and hits a quick chokeslam to leave them both down for a breather. The very delayed cover gives Ramon two and he knocks Michaels outside again. That’s enough for Michaels and Diesel to try the walk out so the referee does the “you leave and you lose the title” deal, making Michaels come back to the ring. One heck of a backdrop gives Ramon two but the belly to back superplex is broken up.

Ramon rolls through a spinning high crossbody for two more and there’s the fall away slam for…three, with Michaels’ foot on the rope. Another referee comes in to point it out (second time on the tape) so we’re continuing (at least it’s a bit different). Michaels hits a superkick for two but Ramon is back with the Razor’s Edge, only for Diesel to pull Michaels out for the DQ at 13:07.

Rating: B. These two could have a good match in their sleep as they always had incredible chemistry. It was another rather awesome match between the two of them, even with the slightly repetitive ending. It’s still a shame that Ramon never got a chance to do something bigger than the Intercontinental Title in the WWF, as he had more than enough fan support to give it a chance.

Post match Diesel’s distraction doesn’t work as Michaels’ cheap shot completely misses. Ramon uses the belt to knock Michaels silly.

From April 26, 1994 in Burlington, Vermont.

It’s the King’s Court with Jerry Lawler saying he begged and prayed for this guest to be on his show. This guest has had to sign a contract guaranteeing that there will be no physical contact. First though, Lawler announces that it’s Bret Hart, but he has something to say about Hart before he comes out. Lawler calls Hart out as a coward from a long line of cowards and mocks Hart’s parents. Hart’s mother Helen is the only woman he knows that has an autographed copy of the Bible. When Cain murdered Able, she was on the jury!

We hear about Bret’s issues with Owen before Lawler talks about how Bret was an ugly baby. Now it’s time for Bret to join Lawler in the ring, with Lawler mocking him for getting to stand next to the real king. Bret talks about agreeing to no violence…and then drops Lawler with a right hand. The beating is on and Lawler is sent flying. Bret even puts on the crown for a bonus. This was pretty long, but Bret messing with Lawler was always worth a look.

From February 22, 1994 in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

Diesel vs. Bret Hart

Shawn Michaels is here with Diesel, who slowly hammers away to start. Diesel sends him hard into the corner and gets in the boot choke as Polo and Monsoon argue over who should win (those two had some great chemistry together). Hart starts in on the leg and cranks away on the mat as Monsoon goes on a rant about Michaels chewing gum. Monsoon: “You could choke on it! Here I’ve got some gum. Do you want some?”

A spinning toehold keeps Diesel in trouble until he powers his way to freedom. Diesel sends him outside for a cheap shot from Michaels, sending Monsoon into another rant. The side slam (Polo: “Side something. Side order of fries. I’m getting hungry Gorilla.”) gets two off a very weak cover, sending Monsoon…oh you know by this point. Diesel grabs a bearhug, sending Polo into an explanation of his knowledge of Greco-Roman wrestling, which involves owning a Greek diner frequented by Romans.

Hart fights up and manages a knockdown as it’s already time for the comeback. The Five Moves Of Doom are on with Hart going after the leg, only to have Michaels get on the apron. That’s cut off and Hart gets the Sharpshooter but here is Owen Hart to knock Bret out. Diesel gets the pin at 10:39, sending Polo into a hilarious victory celebration for picking the right result.

Rating: B-. Diesel was still figuring out the singles stuff here so this wasn’t close to the stuff they would wind up doing later. The good thing is that Bret was able to walk him through it, even if it might not have been his most inspired effort. At usual though, Monsoon and Polo were the highlight here, as they were often hilarious together.

Savage praises Bret for being a future Hall Of Famer and the pink and black are the best colors he has, has ever had and ever will have. Savage knows that sounded goofy but you get the idea to wrap it up.

Join the WWF Fan Club! I would have at this point if I had seen that ad.

Overall Rating: B+. When Randy Savage is in one of the weaker matches, you know you’ve got something good. This was one of the better Coliseum Videos I remember seeing, with the Harts vs. Steiners match absolutely stealing the show (which the WWF had to know would happen). I had a great time with this and it’s a surprise effort from a bleak time in the company’s history.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992 (2023 Edition): It’s Not That Good

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the Redo’s picked for Survivor Series and in a way, that is rather odd. In this case, there is very little Survivor Seriesing going on, with just one elimination match, which happens to be a tag team edition. Other than that, we have a huge tag match as Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect face Razor Ramon and Ric Flair, plus Bret Hart defending the WWE Title against Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. Bobby is NOT happy about Mr. Perfect joining forces with Randy Savage.

High Energy vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. Samu shoves Hart down without much trouble to start but misses a crossbody. Hart’s crossbody and dropkick work far better and it’s off to Ware to work on the arm. For some reason Ware tries ramming their heads together, which works as well as you would expect. Afa gets in a cheap shot from the floor and Fatu runs Ware over with a hard clotheslines as the fans are not pleased.

The nerve hold (you knew that one was coming) goes on and another clothesline drops Ware again. Ware tries to fight up and is casually superkicked right back down (Fatu always had a good superkick). Back up and Ware avoids a charge, with Samu going head first into the post. That’s enough for the tag off to Hart to pick the pace way up. A high crossbody gets two on Fatu but Samu plants him with a powerslam. Fatu’s Superfly Splash finishes Hart at 7:40.

Rating: C+. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan and this was a good example of why. They did some things rather well (Fatu’s superkick and splash looked awesome) but they are a team where what you see is what you get. While High Energy was out there flying around and doing what they could, the Headshrinkers were out there to hit you hard and do their second generation Wild Samoan stuff. It worked back in the day and it worked again here in a nice opener.

Nailz, with that still weird deep voice, has been looking forward to hurting the Big Boss Man for a long time. Tonight, he gets the chance, with Boss Man unable to handcuff him to a steel bunk bed. Boss Man and his feel guards know what kind of a good climber he is! He committed no crime but tonight he’s ready to do horrible things to Boss Man with that nightstick. How Sean Mooney doesn’t crack up at all of this is unclear.

Big Boss Man doesn’t buy Nailz saying he’s an innocent man because he’s seen the file. His job is to make sure Nails serves hard time…and then he literally runs off to the ring.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Nightstick on a pole match with Boss Man charging to the ring as Nailz is already climbing. Boss Man slugs away but gets whipped hard into the corner. Nailz hammers away but it’s too early for him to get the stick. Back up and Boss Man goes simple by punching him in the face, only to get slammed off when going for the stick. The chinlock goes on (Heenan: “RIP IT OFF!”) but Boss Man fights out, only to miss a splash.

Boss Man knocks him down again and they both get a breather. They get up for a double clothesline and they’re both down again. That’s enough for Boss Man to get the stick and deck Nailz in the face but he shrugs it off. A right hand makes Boss Man drop the stick and Nailz gets in a few shots of his own. Not that it matters as the Boss Man Slam is enough to pin Nailz at 5:40.

Rating: D+. The nightstick doesn’t make much of a difference if it doesn’t make an impact and that was the case here. They traded nightstick shots and barely hurt each other so there wasn’t much of a point. Other than that, it was a slow brawl without anything important. Lame stuff here as Boss Man was rapidly running out of steam.

Ric Flair and Razor Ramon aren’t happy with Mr. Perfect turning on them to join Mr. Savage as Ultimate Warrior’s replacement. We see a clip of Savage picking Perfect and Bobby Heenan running his mouth to make Perfect switch sides. Heenan begging for mercy and for Perfect to reconsider is such a Heenan thing for him to do. Flair and Ramon swear vengeance on the now crazy Perfect.

Heenan goes on a great rant against Perfect as only he could.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

This is during Martel’s kind of sailing captain phase and he has some of Tatanka’s feathers to make this personal. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to start but he reverses and chops away. Some dropkicks have Martel on the floor, followed by an atomic drop to put him outside again. Back in and Martel grabs a hot shot (Heenan approves) to take over.

The front facelock goes on as we hear about Sgt. Slaughter being Jack Tunney’s official rule enforcer. Tatanka suplexes his way out of a front facelock but Martel puts it right back on. Cue Doink The Clown as Martel knocks Tatanka back down and grabs the same front facelock. Tatanka fights up and hits a clothesline before avoiding a charge to send Martel shoulder first into the post.

The arm cranking goes on as the fans are just silent here. An armdrag into an armbar cuts off the energy again as this just keeps going. Martel fights up and sends him to the floor, only to get punched out of the air back inside. Tatanka starts the comeback and hits the top rope chop to the head. The Papoose To Go finally finishes Martel at 11:07.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t awful, but instead really boring. Tatanka and Martel could probably have a good match that runs about seven minutes but there is nothing you can get out of that many front facelocks and then Tatanka working the arm late in the match. Not a terrible match, but it took me a long time to get through it as it was just that dull.

Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage know that Ric Flair hates them being a team. Perfect is ready to take out Flair and Razor Ramon, because Bobby Heenan knows Perfect can beat both of them. Savage says if the villains were mad before, they’re going to be even madder in a little while.

Ric Flair/Razor Ramon vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

Heenan is of course incredible here with his rants about what is coming to Perfect. Ramon and Perfect get things going with Ramon hitting a running shoulder. That doesn’t work for Perfect, who is back with a slap but Perfect bails from the threat of a double team. Flair comes in and is quickly taken down by Perfect, who chops away in the corner. There’s the Flair Flip to the apron, where Savage knocks him to the floor for a bonus.

It’s off to Savage for a top rope ax handle to the ribs, leaving a Flair fan (in robe) losing it in the crowd. Savage slugs away on Flair and the interfering Ramon, setting up that signature running clothesline on Flair. A cheap shot slows Savage down though and it’s Ramon coming in to slug away. Ramon can’t get anywhere with Savage’s leg so he goes with the choking instead.

Flair slugs away in the corner and it’s right back to Ramon for the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Flair tosses Savage over the top for a crash, setting up the running knee. Ramon grabs a kind of weak half crab….and Perfect is walking up the aisle. He sees Savage bleeding on the screen though and that’s enough to draw him back, much to Heenan’s annoyance.

With order restored, Flair gets two off a chop but Savage manages a desperation backslide for the same. Ramon comes right back in and grabs a chokeslam for two more on Savage. There’s a clothesline to put him down again but for some reason Flair goes up, earning a slam off the bottom rope for an extra big crash. The double tag (diving on Savage’s end) brings in Perfect to face Ramon as everything breaks down.

Flair chairs Savage in the head with a chair on the floor and Perfect is whipped into the referee. Another referee comes out as Perfect flips out of a Razor’s Edge and grabs the PerfectPlex. The new referee counts two as Flair makes the save so it’s PerfectPlex to him as well. The first referee counts two with Ramon making a save, meaning the villains are finally DQ’d at 16:30.

Rating: B-. It was one of the featured matches on the show but it was only so interesting. The biggest problem here is that the heat on Savage was rather long and then the ending felt like it was designed to set something else down the line. Flair and Perfect would keep going but Savage and Ramon were pretty much done, making this a preview for something that didn’t happen.

Post match the beatdown is on until Savage makes the save with a chair. Perfect gets the chair and clean house (Heenan: “SOMEBODY GET DOWN THERE AND STOP HIM!”). The announcement of the DQ gives us a classic THAT’S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR! Respect is shown.

Flair and Ramon swear vengeance.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna does his sumo stomps in the corner and knocks Virgil down without much trouble. Some dropkicks work for Virgil but he tries an O’Connor roll to limited avail. A superkick cuts Virgil down and Yokozuna slowly pounds away. Virgil’s comeback attempt is cut off by a side slam and the big legdrop makes it worse. The splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop to finish Virgil at 3:44.

Rating: C. Pretty much a total squash here and that’s all it needed to be. This version of Yokozuna was rather mobile and someone who felt like different kind of monster. It makes sense to put him out here to wreck a loser like Virgil and he looked rather dominant. Good stuff here, and the push is clearly coming.

Mr. Perfect has turkeys for Ric Flair and Razor Ramon. Bobby Heenan gets a little chicken.

Natural Disasters/Nasty Boys vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

The villains have the Genius/Jimmy Hart in their corner and if one person is eliminated, their partner is as well. Typhoon backs Blake into the corner and then shoves him into the corner without much effort. An over the shoulder backbreaker has Blake in more trouble and Earthquake comes in for a bearhug. A powerslam puts Blake down again and Knobbs runs him over to make it worse.

It’s off to Sags, who finally gets caught in the wrong corner so Beau can come in for a change. Sags hits a pumphandle slam (Vince: “What a wrestling maneuver!”) but Beau grabs a butterfly suplex. DiBiase comes in for a change but gets suplexed down in a hurry. IRS comes in and elbows Sags down so Beau can drop an elbow for two. The chinlock goes on but Sags fights up for a double knockdown. The tag brings Earthquake back in to wreck everything, setting up the Earthquake to Beau for the elimination at 9:26.

Earthquake runs DiBiase over and it’s Typhoon coming in for a headbutt. A missed charge actually lets Money Inc. manage a double belly to back suplex, followed by a wishbone snap. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by DiBiase’s middle rope ax handle. DiBiase’s middle rope dive into a raised boot lands on a raised boot and it’s back to Typhoon to clean house. The big splash hits IRS but DiBiase makes the save, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for the pin at 15:55. Then Sags rolls IRS up for the pin at 16:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly good but rather long with almost nothing worth seeing. There was a story o Hart losing Money Inc. and the Disasters as teams while the Nasty Boys wanted the Tag Team Titles but that wasn’t exactly thrilling here. This felt like lip service to having the Survivor Series concept and if that’s the best they’ve got, they might as well have just skipped it this year (which they seemed to want to do).

Randy Savage, Mr. Perfect and Tatanka are on the Superstar Line.

Heenan rants about Perfect again.

We recap Kamala beating up Undertaker at Summerslam, only to have Undertaker do the situp and scare him away. Undertaker wanted revenge and Kamala was terrified of a casket, so he built a really big casket. It was a simpler time.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Coffin match (win by pin/submission, loser goes into the casket) with Paul Bearer, Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman here as well. Undertaker chases him to the floor to start but Kamala chops away back inside. That’s fine with Undertaker, who strikes right back and hits Old School. Well not that old at this point.

Some shots to the face stagger Undertaker though and Kamala sends him outside for a ram into the steps. A chair to the back staggers Undertaker again but some chops don’t do much back inside. Three slams in a row set up a series of splashes but lets bring the Urn in. Kamala freaks out so Undertaker gets up and hits him in the head with it for the win at 5:28.

Rating: C-. Another not so great match as Kamala just wasn’t that interesting in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there was almost no way to imagine Kamala beating Undertaker, who was a major star and far out of Kamala’s league. The match was a way to wrap things up for Undertaker, who needed a new monster to slay. Much like the previous match, this was a way to get something (or someone) on the show and that didn’t make it interesting.

Post match Kamala nails the coffin shut and wheels it out.

Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels says he beat the British Bulldog for the title and since the Bulldog beat Bret Hart for the title, Michaels can beat Bret tonight.

Bret Hart says he’s ready to beat Shawn and add him to a list of recently defeated challengers (Berzerker! Rick Martel! VIRGIL!). We hear about how Bret rose through the ranks to get here and he isn’t ready to lose just yet, even to a great wrestler like Shawn.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Only Bret is defending. After the handing off of the sunglasses to a kid, Bret takes Shawn into the corner. They go to the mat with Bret easily taking control and sending Shawn bailing to the rope. Back up and Bret takes over on the arm, including some armbarring. We’ll make that some hammerlocking with some knees to the arm but Shawn is back up with a hammerlock of his own.

That’s reversed with a toss out to the floor, followed by another armbar back inside. Shawn slugs his way out of trouble, only to get clotheslined down for two. The armbar goes on again but Shawn drops him across the top to get a breather. Shawn sends him shoulder first into the post and hits a DDT onto the arm. We hit the chinlock for a good while, setting up a backbreaker into another chinlock.

Bret fights up and gets a neckbreaker but Shawn takes him right back down. Now it’s a front facelock to keep Bret down, though this time he’s back up with some shoulders in the corner. The bulldog out of the corner sets up the missed middle rope elbow and we’re back to the front facelock. Bret is up again and manages a belly to back suplex before sending him head first into the post.

There’s the backdrop (you know Bret can call that one) into the Russian legsweep for two, followed by the middle rope elbow for the same. A high impact superplex gives Bret a rather delayed near fall and they’re getting tired. The referee gets crushed in the corner…but is right back up. Shawn sends Bret outside and manages a posting, followed by his own backdrop for his own two back inside.

The superkick (not yet the finisher, or even named) doesn’t even warrant a cover so the teardrop suplex (almost an Angle Slam) gives Shawn two. Bret gets in a shot though and gets Shawn tied up in the ropes, only to miss a charge and crash hard. Shawn goes up but dives right into the Sharpshooter to retain Bret’s title at 26:39.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times now and while it is good, it really needed to be about eight minutes shorter. There is a lot of time spent just sitting there in either the armbar or the chinlock, which can get rather tedious. It got better near the end and Bret is a beatable enough champion to make this work, but it went longer than it needed to and that brought things down a bit.

And then Santa Claus comes out to celebrate with Bret to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The two big matches are good enough and they get more time than almost anything else on the show, but the biggest problem here is nothing really feels major. Bret vs. Shawn feels more like a really enhanced midcard match while the big tag match is….I’m not sure what it is but it didn’t feel important enough to be the featured match. It’s clear that the WWF is in a transitional period here and it’s really not clicking yet. Not an awful show, but nothing you need to see save for maybe some historical curiosity.

 

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

2012 Redo: C+

2023 Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
2012 Redo: C-

2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

2012 Redo: C

2023 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

2012 Redo: F

2023 Redo: C-


Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

2012 Redo: A

2023 Redo: B

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: C

Yeah Bret vs. Shawn just isn’t that great.




Survivor Series 1990 (2024 Edition): The Obvious Need

Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

I haven’t looked at this one in a long time so we might as well do it here. This is a big one from a historical stance, with an all time debut and something that is much more infamous than anything else. Other than that, we have the usual Survivor Series matches, plus an idea that they never used again. Let’s get to it.

We get the rather cool squares intros, showing all of the matches tonight, including the team names, which always add a nice flavor to the whole thing.

So the other deal here is that we have the Grand Finale Match of Survival, where the winners will face off again in a final Survivor Series match. Yeah I don’t get the point either.

The Ultimate Warriors promise to win. Well in theory that’s what Warrior says, as he rambles on about sacrifice and forming a bond with no medicine being able to cure what they have. I think.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Ultimate Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion Of Doom
Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Mr. Fuji and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains. They take their sweet time settling down until Animal tackles Smash to start fast. A shot to the ribs slows Animal down and it’s Perfect coming in to stay on said ribs. Animal powerslams his way out of trouble and gets in an atomic drop, allowing the double tag to Von Erich and Ax (whose hair isn’t slicked back and who pretty clearly doesn’t want to be anywhere near this show). The Claw has Ax in trouble and it’s off to Warrior for the shoulder and splash for the elimination at 3:24. That’s the last you would see of Ax in the WWF ever again, and he can’t get out of the ring fast enough.

Crush comes in to clothesline Warrior but it’s off to Hawk to choke Perfect. One heck of a missed charge hits the post though and Demolition gets to hammer on Hawk. That doesn’t last long as Hawk is back up with a top rope clothesline and everything breaks down. The referee isn’t playing with this one and disqualifies the Legion of Doom and Demolition at 7:45, leaving us with Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado. Piper: “I’M WRITING IT DOWN!”

Warrior comes in but Perfect wants Tornado, who comes in and knocks Perfect over the top. Perfect needs a breather on the floor so Warrior sends him into Heenan. Back in and Perfect avoids a charge into the post before going to the eyes to really keep Tornado in trouble. A ram into an exposed buckle into the PerfectPlex finishes Tornado at 11:05 and we’re one on one.

Warrior comes in and gets PerfectPlexed for two, but because it’s a finisher, he’s down for a bit. A clothesline gets two, with Warrior’s kickout sending Perfect onto the referee. That doesn’t have an impact this time as Warrior fights up and starts the clothesline comeback. The shoulder and splash finish Perfect for the win at 14:21.

Rating: D+. This was just lame in every sense of the word, as they never bothered to put in any effort, the double DQ was just lazy, and the ending was never in doubt as the villains were fighting from behind for most of the match. It was clear that Warrior had nothing to do at the moment and Perfect wasn’t a serious challenger. Pretty awful match here and still one of the worst in the show’s history.

The Million Dollar Team is ready to win, even with their absent mystery partner.

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Hart Foundation, Koko B. Ware
Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm And Blues, ???

So this is a famous one as DiBiase (Virgil) brings out the mystery partner, complete with his own manager Brother Love, the Undertaker. And this is immediately a hit, with Piper getting in the famous line of “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAMHOCK!” This is one of those cases where everyone collectively went “….whoa” as you don’t see something like this very often and the people knew it.

Hart and Undertaker start things off and the proto chokeslam takes Hart down. Neidhart comes in and is immediately slammed so it’s off to Ware, who is piledriven (Monsoon: “He just got hit with the Tombstone!”) for the elimination at 1:45, instantly making Undertaker look like an absolute monster. Hart comes in and hammers away, so Undertaker glares at him and tags out in an almost eerie moment. The good guys start taking over on Valentine’s arm but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut Hart off. Honky Tonk Man comes in and is promptly powerslammed to give Neidhart the elimination at 4:24.

It’s off to DiBiase to hammer on Neidhart (makes sense on an Anvil), who fights up for the tag to the (non polka-dotted) Dusty. Elbows and a dropkick have DiBiase in trouble so it’s back to Neidhart, who gets tripped by Virgil. That’s enough for DiBiase to hit a clothesline for the elimination at 5:57, because people get pinned by clotheslines at the Survivor Series.

Hart comes back in and stomps away in the corner before Rhodes comes in and gets dropped with a shot to the face. It’s back to Undertaker, who chokes Hart in the corner but hands it back to DiBiase, who gets atomic dropped. Rhodes comes back in and gets dropped again, with Undertaker hitting a top rope ax handle to pin Rhodes at 8:33. Undertaker throws Rhodes over the top so Love can stomp away. That earns him a stalking to the back, with Undertaker following and getting counted out at 9:26, as they had to do something to avoid him getting pinned in his debut.

So it’s Hart vs. Valentine/DiBiase, but Hart small packages Valentine for the pin at 10:02 to get us down to one on one. Hart wastes no time in knocking DiBiase outside for a slingshot dive and a posting. Back in and Hart hammers away in the corner but DiBiase is back up with some chops. Hart seems to hurt his leg running the ropes, but it’s the not yet standard goldbricking so he can roll DiBiase up for two. Hart gets two off the middle rope elbow and tries a crossbody, with DiBiase rolling through for the final pin at 14:02.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two star making performances as Hart (who was dedicating the match to his brother, who had passed away the day before) had another one of those showings that made you know he was going to be something special. That being said, there’s a reason the Undertaker’s debut is one of the best ever, as sweet goodness he looked like an absolute star and you knew it was something special. Granted I don’t think anyone could have guessed how special, but it’s still effective over thirty five years later, so they’re definitely onto something.

Hart yelling F*** into the camera after the fall is oddly missing here.

The Vipers are in the shower and ready for a bunch of individual battles in their team match.

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Visionaries: Rick Martel, Power and Glory, Warlord

This is built around Martel blinding Roberts with his arrogance cologne. Snuka is looking horrible here, with a huge afro and a not so great looking face. Jannetty and the Warlord start things off, meaning Piper can make I Am The Walrus jokes. Warlord misses a charge into the corner to start but is fine enough to shrug off some dropkicks. Jannetty picks up thee pace with some right hands and Shawn clotheslines Warlord into a sunset flip.

Martel comes in and gets hiptossed into a dropkick with Martel bailing out to the floor. Roberts grabs a wristlock on Roma and it’s quickly off to Hercules vs. Snuka. The rapid fire tags bring Jannetty back in to hammer on Warlord, who powerslams him out of the air (that looked great) for the pin at 5:19.

Michaels comes in with a hurricanrana before it’s back to Roberts for a clothesline to put Warlord down. One heck of a backdrop sends Michaels flying and Hercules drops him with a clothesline. A hard whip into the corner gets two on Michaels but he avoids a charge into the post. Snuka comes in to unload in the corner before firing off a middle rope crossbody, but Martel rolls through and grabs tights for the pin at 9:46.

Roberts comes in to go after Martel, who hands it off to Hercules, much to Roberts’ annoyance. The threat of a DDT sends Hercules bailing out to the floor and a cheap shot (as Roberts can barely see) takes Roberts down. Roma misses a top rope fist drop though and it’s back to Michaels (who was injured by Power & Glory). A middle rope elbow gets two on Roma but Hercules comes in off a blind tag to deck him from behind. Hercules drops him with a gorilla press and the PowerPlex makes it 4-1 at 15:17.

Warlord wastes no time with a bearhug but Roberts gets out. Since 4-1 isn’t enough, Roma offers a distraction so the referee doesn’t see the DDT….or Martel spraying Roberts with Arrogance. That’s enough for Roberts, so he grabs Damien and chases Martel (not legal, so not eliminated) to the back for the countout to wrap it up at 17:04.

Rating: C-. While not as bad as the opener, this was another boring match with pretty much nothing going on. Martel and company weren’t a good team but they were running through the Vipers like they weren’t even there. Michaels was his usual good self, but Snuka looked ancient, Jannetty wasn’t there long enough, and Roberts hit his one move. Another bad match as this show is remembered for one good thing for a reason.

The Hulkamaniacs have been surviving for a long time and now it’s time to do it again here. They also dedicate the match to the armed forces and are ready to go fight Saddam Hussein.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, Big Boss Man
Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains as commentary tries to figure out the lineup for the Grand Finale match. How do you know that Rick Martel is going to be a heel? Maybe he’s a Little Warrior. Big pop for Hogan too, as there was something left to this Hulkamania thing. Piper: “What are they chanting?” Gorilla: “Hogan!” Piper: “That might have been the dumbest question I’ve asked in 1990.”

Duggan and Haku slug it out to start until Haku misses a middle rope crossbody (oh geez he can fly too). Duggan’s elbow misses as well so it’s off to Bravo for an atomic drop. Boss Man comes in to slug away on Haku, who hits a dropkick to cut him off. That earns him the Boss Man Slam and Haku is out at 3:15. Boss Man kicks Barbarian in the face but goes after Heenan, allowing Barbarian to come back with a belly to back suplex. Duggan comes in but gets powered into the corner by Earthquake, who isn’t about to be slammed. Instead Duggan grabs the 2×4 to chase Hart but stops to hit Earthquake for the DQ at 6:12.

Hogan comes in to slam all three villains and hammers away at Earthquake in the corner. That’s broken up and Earthquake plants him down, allowing Bravo to drop an elbow. Hogan goes technical though and small packages Bravo for the pin at 8:00 as the villains are playing from behind again. Boss Man comes in to slug away at Earthquake….who catches a high crossbody in mid air. Sweet goodness that’s insane. Hogan breaks it up but Barbarian gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Some elbow drops get rid of Boss Man at 9:10 to get us down to 2-2, with even commentary forgetting that Tugboat was there.

Hogan hammers on Earthquake but can’t slam him this time. He can bring in Tugboat though and the brawl with Earthquake goes to the floor for the double countout at 11:34, making it Hogan vs. Barbarian. The slow beating is on and a not great piledriver gives Barbarian two. A double clothesline leaves both of them down and it’s Barbarian up first with his big clothesline. Hogan fights up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes at 14:50.

Rating: C. And that’s the second best match of the night. This was Hogan and his friends doing Hogan’s greatest hits against a pretty generic group of villains. You could see that the magic was wearing off with Hogan as he didn’t have a top opponent (after beating Earthquake at Summerslam) and the match was only so exciting. Beating Earthquake by countout on back to back pay per views didn’t help either.

Hogan beats up Heenan for fun.

Here is Randy Savage to be annoyed at being accused of….eating Thanksgiving dinner? Either way, he’s after the Ultimate Warrior and the WWF Title, because it is being held by the Ultimate Chicken. Queen Sherri did NOT do his fighting for him when he slapped the Warrior because he is the greatest Superstar of all time.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bushwhackers
Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Before the match, Slaughter mocks the American troops in the Middle East for not having a good Thanksgiving dinner. Piper is TICKED over this, to the point where I’m surprised he and Slaughter never had a title match. Butch hammers on Zhukov to start and it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 50 seconds. As the heels are behind AGAIN. The Battering Ram gets rid of Sato at 1:51 as they’re making it pretty clear that this match doesn’t need to be a Survivor Series match because a bunch of people are going to be gone fast.

Tanaka kicks Butch down and misses a headbutt, meaning it’s another forearm to make it 4-1 at 2:11. Volkoff comes in to hammer away in the corner but gets dropped with a clothesline. Some elbow drops begin the slow beatdown, capped off with another elbow for the pin at 5:26. The Bushwhackers are in with a double clothesline but Luke’s top rope splash hits knees. A gutbuster gives Slaughter the pin at 6:32 and Butch is out to a clothesline at 6:55.

So it’s Santana vs. Slaughter with Santana coming in off the top with a forearm to take over. Slaughter is right back with a neckbreaker and a backbreaker gets two. A suplex gives Slaughter a delayed two but the referee gets bumped. Santana hits the forearm but General Adnan comes in with the flag shot for the DQ to end this at 10:35.

Rating: D+. This show is terrible and there isn’t much of a way to hide it. It was clear that this needed to be Santana vs. Slaughter, as the match would have been better and let us skip six eliminations in about seven minutes. At the same time, Slaughter wasn’t feeling like a top heel here and there wasn’t much of a way around it.

Ted DiBiase and the Visionaries are ready for Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana, because Warrior and Hogan had issues just a few months ago at Wrestlemania.

And now, it’s time for the egg to hatch. Yeah there has been a big egg for weeks and it finally hatches to reveal….a humanoid turkey thing which Gene Okerlund dubs the Gobbledy Gooker. He and Gene go to the ring to dance and the fans boo this out of the building, as it’s just a big waste of time that adds nothing. The idea was to make a fun mascot for kids but that could have been covered by someone like Jim Duggan in a costume. Also, when you’re expecting anything interesting and get…whatever this was. This is an all time disaster and it has become a running joke for almost forty years as a result.

Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana don’t think they’re behind because the Hulkamaniacs are in their corner.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Visionaries/Ted DiBiase

Santana forearms Warlord for the pin at 24 seconds. Roma powerslams Santana down and DiBiase comes in with a suplex for two. Santana misses the forearm and gets caught with a hot shot for the pin at 1:52. Hogan comes in to hammer on DiBiase but Hercules comes in to get a few shots of his own. The villains keep taking turns hammering on Hogan as even Piper is telling him to get it together already. DiBiase gets two off a fist drop but the PowerPlex triggers the Hulk Up.

The clothesline finishes Roma at 5:39 so Martel comes in for the ineffective hammering. Hogan kicks him down and hands it off to Warrior who slams Martel a few times, allowing Hogan to clothesline Martel to the floor for a countout at 7:23. It’s down to DiBiase/Hercules, which would be a lot more interesting about two years ago. Hogan powers DiBiase into the corner, hits the boot and drops the leg to make it 2-1 at 8:38. The powerslam lets Warrior come back in for a shoulder and the splash to win it all at 9:09.

Rating: D. Good grief they actually made it less interesting. I didn’t think this could get worse as the rest of the show had bee but they pulled it off. I’m not sure what the point of this was other than to get Hogan and Warrior out there again, but it doesn’t really make much of a difference when we saw them both in the last few hours. Nothing to see here, with Hogan and Warrior running through some midcard villains in short order.

Overall Rating: D. There is one good match in almost two and half hours here and that match is mostly memorable for one debut and nothing more. Other than that, it was a good illustration of how things needed to change. The 80s were over and Warrior wasn’t working on top, but Hogan’s act was fairly tired and not the long term solution.

That being said, the biggest problem is the lack of major villains. Warrior had Mr. Perfect, Hogan had already had his big match with Earthquake, and other than that you had Savage on the way up, but that’s not enough to fight two superpowers. Slaughter was getting a reaction but it absolutely did not have any kind of long term shelf life. Undertaker looked good, but it was his first night and he needed time to be turned into something big.

The whole thing didn’t work and it just kept getting worse. The Gooker stuff was the big, horrible icing on the whole thing as this was a bad show, with Undertaker and Bret Hart not being enough to come close to saving it. This show was pretty bad and the company was in need of a big overhaul, which would take a lot of time.

 

 

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Bashed In The USA: I’d Bash It Too (Full Show Included)

Bashed In The USA
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Jim Ross, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan
Host: Mr. Perfect

I’ve seen this tape before but it’s been such a long time that it’s worth another look now that the Vault has put it up. This is from 1993 so it’s not the greatest time in the company’s history but there should be some decent stuff in there. If nothing else, Bret and Shawn should be around to save things. Let’s get to it.

Out host is Mr. Perfect, who is looking for the perfect…stamp. Geez how bad were the ideas they rejected?

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Razor Ramon vs. Big Boss Man

Ramon offers ring announcer Mike McGuirk a kiss before the match but she doesn’t seem interested. They stall a lot to start with Ramon wanting the nightstick gone (fair) and then promising to throw Boss Man out. Boss Man responds by SNAPPING THE TOOTHPICK but Ramon bails to the floor. After over two minutes of stalling, Boss Man wants to head outside as well, meaning it’s time for some stretching on the barricade.

Ramon invites Boss Man back inside so Boss Man shakes the ropes for a low blow, which I guess counts as contact? They finally lock up after over three minutes and they roll around the ropes. Ramon shoves him so Boss Man is back with a good right hand. Ramon’s headlock and shoulder don’t get him very far so Boss Man invites him to try it again.

We go to the test of strength, with Boss Man going down to a knee and Ramon kicks him in the ribs for daring to try a comeback. Boss Man fights up and hits the uppercut before elbowing him into a rollup for two. Some right hands in the corner have Ramon in more trouble but he grabs the nightstick. The big swing misses but Ramon gets a boot up in the corner. A rollup with feet on the ropes gives Ramon the cheap pin at 7:45.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t very good, as it was a bunch of stalling and then some very basic stuff. Boss Man was mostly done as a big deal at this point and wouldn’t even be around the company that much longer. Ramon on the other hand was brand new so giving him a win helped. Just maybe make it a bit better on the way there next time.

Mr. Perfect doesn’t think much of Ramon and we see a clip from Survivor Series 1992 of Perfect cleaning house with a chair.

From June 3, 1992 in Cornwall, Ontario, Canada.

Rick Martel/Money Inc. vs. Tatanka/High Energy

Jimmy Hart is here with Martel and company. Owen armdrags DiBiase down to start as commentary buries someone named Marty Applebaum, who apparently works for Coliseum Video. This isn’t the first time they’ve mocked him so we have a running joke, and it’s a long run as well as this goes on for a good while. DiBiase armdrags Owen right back and mocks him a bit but gets dropkicked, with everything breaking down and the villains getting cleaned out.

Back in and Martel turns his back on Owen, who brings Tatanka in to take him apart. The middle rope chop to the head sends Martel to the floor and it’s off to Ware for a dropkick to IRS. Monsoon buries him too by saying Ware has put on about 25lbs. A shot from behind puts Ware down but he’s up and over to Tatanka for the tag. DiBiase gets a boot up in the corner, though commentary would rather talk about French fries. Martel comes in for kicking and choking and it’s back to IRS with a middle rope fist to the head.

DiBiase gets in a snapmare into a chinlock as Hayes talks about which partner Tatanka should tag (he picks Hart). Tatanka fights up for a sunset flip but gets caught in the front facelock. Naturally he gets over to Ware but the referee doesn’t see the tag, meaning IRS can choke in the corner (Hayes approves, like the evil Englishman he is). Tatanka finally suplexes his way to freedom and the tag brings in Hart to clean hammer away. Everything breaks down and DiBiase trips Ware, who gets pinned by IRS at 12:13, despite neither of them being legal (which Monsoon does point out).

Rating: C. This was long and fairly dull, but I can go for a six man where they get some people out there and let them do their thing for a bit. Martel and Tatanka were in the middle of a fairly dull feud but at least the other match was fairly fresh. The ending left a good bit to be desired though, as it wasn’t hard to keep track of who was legal. Unless you’re a Hebner, but why would you ever trust one of them?

Mr. Perfect finally gets some help with the stamp and throws us to a profile on Shawn Michaels. The store employee not even turning her head when Perfect stops to talk to the camera is rather funny.

Shawn Michaels can’t believe he was asked to get his amazing career down to three matches but he’s the Wrestler of the 90s so it’s easy enough.

From January 26, 1993 in Fresno, California.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kamala

Michaels is defending and Slick is here with Kamala. Some belly slapping has Michaels dodging as there are A LOT of empty seats opposite the camera. Michaels slides between the legs as we’re still waiting on the first contact. The offer of a handshake lets Michaels get in a right hand but a whip out of the corner gets him nowhere. Instead Kamala chops him out to the floor and takes a quick lap, with Slick telling him to stay in the ring, which Hayes DOES NOT like.

Back in and Michaels’ cheap shot doesn’t work so Kamala grabs a bearhug into a choke. That’s broken up and Michaels gets in a shot off the top for a knockdown. Kamala is right back with a superkick and the chops before just dumping him over the top. Michaels throws Slick down and just walks out, with Kamala following for the double countout at 4:30.

Rating: C-. They didn’t have much time here and it wasn’t exactly worth seeing. Michaels was an all time in-ring star but there is only so much that even he can do in a four minute match against Kamala with so much of the time being wasted. As usual, I don’t get the point in having matches in a profile go like this but that’s the Coliseum Video way.

Post match Kamala drags Michaels back to the ring and gives him a splash.

Michaels mocks Kamala and is ready for his next match, even if it’s against an odd opponent.

From December 14, 1992 in Green Bay, Wisconsin.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Skinner

Michaels is defending again in a rare heel vs. heel match. We get a slow start as Michaels has to take his entrance gear off, with Skinner sending him straight into the corner. A slam drops Michaels and a heck of a right hand puts him on the floor. Back in and Skinner knocks him down again, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.

Commentary tries to figure out if Skinner would rather have the title or Michaels stuffed on his mantle. A shoulder breaker gets two and they go outside, where Skinner misses a charge into the post. Back in and Michaels tries to jump over him but gets punched in the face. Some hard headbutts and a faceplant have Michaels in more trouble. Skinner throws him over the top but Michaels slides back in for the superkick to retain at 4:40.

Rating: C+. Skinner was oddly impressive as a de facto face here, as he beat Michaels up until a quick ending. This was better than I was expecting, even with the heel vs. heel setup. I’m not sure how far Skinner could have gone, but he was shockingly good in this kind of a role.

Michaels says it’s time to face off against a real human being.

From October 28, 1992 in Louisville, Kentucky.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Virgil

Michaels is defending and takes him down without much trouble as Heenan worries about Michaels chewing gun during the match. Some slaps to the back of the head annoy Virgil so much that he hits a dropkick for two. That’s cut off in a hurry and Michaels knocks him down again, setting up a quick chinlock.

Virgil gets back up so Michaels drops him with a clothesline, followed by a not great looking suplex. Michaels charges into a boot in the corner and gets clotheslined in the back of his head, allowing Virgil to start the snap jabs. A middle rope clothesline gives Virgil two but he misses a knee in the corner. The teardrop suplex retains the title at 7:10.

Rating: C. I know Virgil had a bit of a following around this time but my goodness he’s just so generic. There’s nothing to him that makes him stand out in any way and his big move here was a middle rope clothesline. Michaels never felt in danger and it was nice to see him get a win, but it would have been better with a higher level opponent.

Michaels brags about his success and goes to answer the door because his chicks are here.

Mr. Perfect knows a lot about stamps.

From May 18, 1992 in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Battle Royal

Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Sgt. Slaughter, Tatanka, El Matador, Virgil, Texas Tornado, Barry Horowitz, Jim Powers, Repo Man, Kato, Skinner, Dale Wolfe, Brooklyn Brawler, Brian Costello, Reno Riggins, Barry Hardy, Duane Gill, Chuck Casey, Tom Stone, Crush, Colonel Mustafa, Burt Spears, George Anderson, Ron Cumberledge, Mark Spears, Ted DiBiase, IRS, Jerry Sags, Brian Knobbs, Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Hawk, Animal, Owen Hart, Koko B. Ware, Earthquake, Typhoon

I missed some of the jobbers’ names and I can’t imagine that matters whatsoever. They start fairly slowly as there is only so much room to maneuver out there right now. A bunch of people get together to doss Earthquake and Typhoon early on, which does at least give us some extra room. Naturally Hart and Michaels get into it, as they are eternally required to do. Cumberledge is out (Savage: “I was going to say the unknown soldier.”) and another jobber who isn’t worthy of commentary’s attention is out too.

Someone else (“Another young man.”) is tossed and Hawk actually goes up for some right hands, because he’s not all there. You can see a lot of people just standing around waiting on something to do because there is only so much room and stuff going on. Hawk and Sags are both knocked out and brawl on the floor before their partners are out as well. The ring is slowly starting to clear out but there are still a bunch of people.

Two more jobbers are out and at least now there is something of a space in the middle where some action can take place. More jobbers, Repo Man and Tornado are out and it’s time for some people to rake backs. Crush goes after both Beverlys as Michaels and Hart go out at the same time. Mustafa tosses Horowitz and IRS gets rid of Slaughter. Powers is out and the bizarre team of DiBiase and Kato get rid of Crush.

Brawler is out too and Tatanka gently puts Mustafa out. Ware is backdropped out (thank goodness he’s wearing parachute pants) and Stone is out (as he was somehow still in). Kato, DiBiase and Virgil (the last two together) are out in a row. Stone is out again (ok then) and we’re down to Tatanka, Blake, Beau and IRS. Tatanka tries to fight all of them but IRS dumps Beau. Tatanka gets rid of IRS and then chops Blake out for the win at 13:17.

Rating: C-. Pretty bleh battle royal here but they ran this forty man version all over the place. It’s still cool to see as it has a lot of the midcard, plus a wide variety of jobbers. There’s nothing in the way of action though and nothing was really built up, save for maybe the Beverlys hanging in there. Nothing much to see here, but the concept is cool.

Perfect rips up a $2 million stamp because it’s not in perfect condition.

Bret Hart does a lot of art. This is pretty well known and he’s rather talented. He draws (mainly in caricature/cartoon style) the Undertaker, Paul Bearer, Yokozuna, Mr. Fuji, Money Inc. and Hulk Hogan while talking about how everyone has a gift. Nice little feature here.

From June 1, 1992 in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada.

Intercontinental Title: Rick Martel vs. Bret Hart

Hart is defending. Believe it or not they go technical to start, with neither being able to get an advantage. The headlock takeover into the headscissors sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Martel cartwheels away. Hart goes for the arm but Martel cartwheels away again, only to get clotheslined outside by an apparent gymnastics hater.

Back in and Martel gets in a few shots of his own to take over, only to miss a charge into the post. Hart works on the arm and gets two off a backslide before going back to the arm, as he is known to do. Martel gets out, misses an elbow, and gets armbarred again. That’s broken up as well and Martel knocks him down but the chinlock doesn’t last long. A sunset flip gives Hart two but Martel gives him a gutwrench suplex.

Another suplexes is broken up so Hart hits an atomic drop (you know the funny sell is included) and follows up with a clothesline. The Russian legsweep gets two but the referee gets bumped, allowing Martel to use the atomizer. The Boston crab goes on but here is Shawn Michaels to deck Hart for the DQ at 10:13.

Rating: C+. The ending actually makes sense, as Michaels was mildly obsessed with the idea of taking the title from Hart. Therefore, he didn’t want Martel to take the title, even if it meant screwing over a fellow heel. At the same time, this sets up Michaels vs. Martel in their bizarrely interesting No Punches To The Face match at Summerslam.

From June 30, 1992 in Binghamton, New York.

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

The Genius is here with the Brothers. The Brothers jump them to start but the Disasters actually do a do-see-do to avoid a crash into each other. Stereo splashes in the corner crush the Brothers and Earthquake splashes Typhoon into them. Earthquake and Blake fight to the floor but the distraction lets Beau hit Typhoon with Genius’ scroll.

A double clothesline out of the corner gets Typhoon out of trouble but Beau manages to snapmare him down. The chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s off to Earthquake to clean house. The powerslam and elbow get two on Blake, with Beau making the save. Everything breaks down and Typhoon beats up the Genius, leaving Earthquake to get double teamed on the floor. Beau dives back in to beat the count at 7:13.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches that isn’t interesting or important and then they have a bad finish on top of it. The Beverly Brothers were as mediocre of a team as you could get and they’re beating the Natural Disasters? I’m not sure I get this one but that is how Coliseum Video matches tended to go.

Mr. Perfect is still not pleased with the stamp selection but throws us to our main event.

From March 8, 1993 in San Antonio, Texas.

Undertaker vs. Yokozuna

Paul Bearer and Yokozuna are here too. They stare each other down for a good while before Yokozuna’s right hands don’t do much. Instead Undertaker hits a running DDT but a clothesline puts him on the floor. Undertaker goes after Fuji but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Back in and Yokozuna crushes him in the corner before dropping the big leg. The belly to belly suplex gets two so Yokozuna gets the salt bucket for the DQ at 4:08.

Rating: D-. What in the world was that? They stalled a lot at the beginning and then the match itself barely breaks four minutes. I have no idea what they were thinking here as it’s more a match that annoys the fans than anything else. If you don’t want either of them taking a pin, just don’t put the match together in the first place.

Post match the beatdown is on but the Banzai Drop misses. Undertaker fights back and Yokozuna walks away.

Perfect shows his perfect stamp and it’s…a picture of him. Well of course it is.

Overall Rating: D+. I for one am shocked that the best matches on a tape from 1993 involved Bret and Shawn. What I am rather shocked about though is the fact that Skinner had the match of the tape for a good stretch. This was a pretty rough collection with absolutely nothing worth seeing. It’s definitely not a great era for the company and if this is the best they could offer, you could see why.

 

 

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WWE Vault: More Awesome Battle Royals: They Can Mix It Up

More Awesome Battle Royals
Commentators: Michael Cole, The Miz, Antonio Cesaro, Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Kaitlyn, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield, Gorilla Monsoon, Lord Alfred Hayes, Chris Cruise, Larry Zbyszko, Roddy Piper, Jim Ross, Les Thatcher

See there are battle royals, and then there are awesome battle royals, but these are the battle royals that were awesome, but not quite awesome enough to make the original batch. Yeah there isn’t much to say about a set like this, but that’s the case with most battle royals. I have no idea what they can do to fill in nearly two more hours of this stuff but let’s get to it.

From Main Event, December 26, 2012.

Battle Royal

Brodus Clay, Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow, Darren Young, Drew McIntyre, Epico, Great Khali, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Jinder Mahal, Justin Gabriel, Primo, Santino Marella, Ted DiBiase Jr., Titus O’Neil, Tyson Kidd, Wade Barrett, William Regal, Yoshi Tatsu, Zack Ryder

For a future US Title shot against Antonio Cesaro, on commentary. A bunch of people go after Khali to start so he tosses Tatsu without much trouble. Primo is tossed as commentary discusses battle royal strategy. The Prime Time Players go after Khali, which goes as well as you would expect. Cesaro and Miz argue about their accomplishments, with Miz listing off his rather impressive resume, which would only get bigger.

Things slow WAY down until McIntyre (a good 40lbs lighter than he would later become) is out, but he pulls Kidd out as well. Gabriel and Mahal are out too, triggering a brawl at ringside and a likely tag match. We take a break and come back with Jey Uso being tossed and Regal going out after him. Marella tries to hammer on Epico in the corner but gets sent to the apron. That just lets Marella skin the cat and pull Epico out, leaving Clay and Khali to slug it out. Khali kicks him in the head and tosses him out. Some big chops have O’Neil in trouble and Jimmy Uso is out as well.

More chops have more people in quite the agony as we take another break. We come back with the Prime Time Players circling Khali and they get him on the mat, which is a rather dumb idea in a battle royal, with Cesaro pointing out the idiocy. The Players finally annoy Khali too much so he dumps both of them, plus Rhodes (with a nasty chop) and Sandow.

We’re down to Marella, Ryder, Barrett and Khali, with Marella hitting the Cobra on Barrett. Ryder goes after Barrett but Marella tosses Ryder out. Barrett gets rid of Marella, leaving Barrett and Khali. A big boot puts Khali down and Barrett hammers away but Khali shrugs that and chops him out for the win at 18:16.

Rating: C+. Khali was oddly motivated here and put in more effort than I’ve seen from him…maybe ever really. I love seeing this kind of thing as it’s such a nothing, random battle royal that it made me wonder who was going to win. That’s a nice feeling to have and it didn’t feel anywhere near as long as it came off. Nice job.

From Saturday Night’s Main Event XXIX.

Battle Royal

Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts, Tanaka, Shawn Michaels, Kato, Earthquake, Jimmy Snuka, Marty Jannetty, Warlord, Mr. Perfect, Haku, Greg Valentine, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, British Bulldog, Hercules, Paul Roma, Big Boss Man, Texas Tornado, Barbarian

It’s a brawl to start with Hogan choking Earthquake in the corner, with Roberts helping him out. Jannetty gets rid of Roman, who knocks Jannetty out as well. We settle down to a bunch of slow fighting, with Perfect being brave enough to go to the middle rope for a right hand to Boss Man. Hogan and Valentine take turns elbowing Perfect in the head as Bulldog is tossed out.

Kato is sent out and Roberts follows him, only to get the snake out and basically bring the match to a screeching halt. We take a break and come back with Tugboat and Hogan slugging out it, which is broken up by Warlord, earning him some praise from fans everywhere. Hogan dumps Warlord and Tornado is tossed as well. Earthquake gets rid of Duggan but gets tossed by Hogan. Kato is eliminated but Tugboat gets rid of Hogan in a surprise.

Hercules and Tugboat are tossed as well and it’s suddenly a midcard match. Boss Man slugs away at Perfect, who dropkicks him into a backdrop from Barbarian for the elimination. Michaels dropkicks Haku out and we’re down to Michaels, Perfect, Valentine and Barbarian. A dropkick staggers Perfect but Michaels is sent out, leaving us with three. Valentine manages to get rid of Barbarian and gives Perfect a heck of a chop. Some elbows let Valentine send Perfect to the apron but Perfect sends him out for the win at 12:31.

Rating: C. As was the case with the other Saturday Night’s Main Event battle royal, the match just DIES when Hogan is eliminated. It doesn’t help that Hogan was eliminated by Tugboat of all people, as that made for a rather pathetic moment. Perfect winning is fine, but this was disappointing to say the least.

From Monday Night Raw, April 22, 2013.

Divas Battle Royal

AJ Lee, Aksana, Naomi, Tamina Snuka, Layla

Yeah five women for a future Divas Title shot. AJ jumps into Tamina’s arms to start and gets kicked in the face for her efforts. Layla (who should be the crowd favorite as we’re in England but receives no reaction because…well look at the match) kicks Aksana out and Naomi/Layla hip attack Tamina. Naomi is out as Kaitlyn jokes about Layla’s gear being flag themed, with Cole trying to avoid various commentary. Layla kicks Tamina out and AJ is still out cold off the superkick. She picks the dead weight AJ up…and AJ tosses her out to win at 3:19.

Rating: D. If you only have five women for a battle royal, just don’t have the battle royal. This was in that weird period for the women where they had some people who were trying but it was still not exactly being taken seriously. Hence a five woman battle royal which lasted about three minutes and featured one of them being laid out for a good while.

From WCW Saturday Night, November 8, 1997.

Lucha Libre Battle Royal

Lizmark Jr., Super Calo, Villano IV, Villano V, Silver King, Hector Garza, El Dandy, Ciclope, La Parka, Halloween, Psychosis, Damien, Juventud Guerrera

Ok then. It’s a brawl to start and Dusty Rhodes is having WAY too much fun with this. Halloween is out and Damien misses a running dropkick in the corner. Lizmark moonsaults onto Damien and Rhodes is THRILLED with El Dandy being involved. The Villanos take over and Psychosis tosses Ciclope for a NASTY crash on the floor. Damien is out and Guerrera punches his way out of a powerbomb from Lizmark. Dandy tosses Lizmark (more like Lizmark tosses himself), sending Dusty into “ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT! EL DANDY IS STILL IN THERE!”.

The Villanos are both out at the same time (Rhodes: “They’re kin. They might as well go out together.”) and King is dropkicked out as well. Garza is backdropped out and Dandy gets rid of Calo, only to be kicked out by Parka (Rhodes: “Bless his heart. He did good!”). Guerrera monkey flips Parka and hits a heck of a springboard spinwheel kick. Psychosis gets Guerrera in an electric chair but Parka chairs Guerrera in the back and they’re both out, giving Parka the win at 7:00.

Rating: C+. Dusty Rhodes was the absolute star of this thing as he was having an absolute ball with the match. There are very few things as fun as listening to an energized Dusty Rhodes doing commentary when he gets to have fun and that was on full display here. The match was nothing, but dang the commentary was a blast.

From sometime in the mid to late 80s (possible December 1, 1986 in Fayetteville, North Carolina).

Bunkhouse Stampede

Ricky Morton, Bobby Eaton, Bill Dundee, Jimmy Garvin, Robert Gibson, Jimmy Valiant, Manny Fernandez, Italian Stallion, Krusher Khrushchev, Dennis Condrey, Arn Anderson, Rick Rude, Paul Ellering, Animal, Ivan Koloff, Tim Horner, Bobby Jaggers, Don Kernoodle, Barry Windham

I’m not even going to try to list everyone here as the audio isn’t great and the camera angles miss a bunch of the entrances anyway. It looks like we have about twenty in there but there is no commentary so it’s even more confusing. Some trashcan lids are brought in to make things even more violent though there are only so many elimination attempts. Fernandez and….someone go outside and seem to be out as Animal trashcan lids Koloff.

Horner (I think) is out as the ring is still way too full for much of note to go on. Jaggers is out and so is Khrushchev, who pulls someone with him. There goes Kernoodle as Anderson chokes Morton and Ron Garvin is out. Morton is tossed as the ring is finally clearing out a bit. Morton helps Gibson get rid of Rude, only for Gibson to be eliminated as well. Valiant is out and there goes Jimmy Garvin, followed by Ellering. We’re down to Anderson, Eaton, Animal, Condrey and…I think it’s Barry Windham.

Either way, Animal gets rid of Anderson and Condrey is tossed, followed by who I believe was Windham. That leaves Animal to hit Eaton with some kind of a whip plus a dropkick. Condrey gets in a cheap shot from the floor but Animal fights back and gets rid of Eaton for the win at 12:48.

Rating: C+. You can only get so much out of something like this as it’s just a wild brawl, but that’s the entire point. The idea was something like “come as you are” so a lot of them were in street clothes to make it feel more authentic. Then again there were also a bunch of trashcan lids involved so it could only be so serious. Good, fun brawl here though and a nice hidden surprise.

From Prime Time Wrestling, July 6, 1992.

Battle Royal

Beau Beverly, Blake Beverly, Virgil, Skinner, Koko B. Ware, Kato, Owen Hart, Brian Knobbs, Duane Gill, Jerry Sags, Tito Santana, Texas Tornado, Joe Mato, Tatanka, Jim Brunzell, Bret Hart, Barry Horowitz, Ron Starr, Sgt. Slaughter, Rick Martel, Ted DiBiase, IRS, Bret Johnson, Berzerker, JA Gooden, C. Martinez, Bob Bradley, Bob Knight, Bruce Mitchell, Gary Davis, Joe Holland, Jim Powers, Al Hunter, Scott Palantonio, Barry Hardy, Nick Ganger, British Bulldog

I got at least seven or eight of those jobbers’ names wrong, though they did at least get individual entrances. Berzerker is on the floor and pulls one of the jobbers out and beats him up, leaving Hayes to mock the guy for getting this kind of a match. Various jobbers are tossed out as commentary has no idea who these people are thus far. Berzerker finally gets inside as Powers is tossed out.

We take a break and come back with Martel and Gill being tossed out. Skinner dumps Tatanka and Santana does the same to DiBiase, followed by IRS going out. Owen and Virgil are gone too and the Beverlys and Bret are out as well. There goes Kato as the ring is suddenly FAR less full.

Sags is tossed and we’re down to Skinner, Bulldog, Berzerker, Santana, Ware and Tornado. Ware and Santana are tossed out rather quickly and Skinner actually gets Bulldog out. We’re down to Berzerker, Tornado and Skinner, which is one of the weirdest final groupings I’ve ever seen. Tornado slugs away at both of them but Berzerker comes back for the double elimination and the win at 9:58.

Rating: D+. Yeah not much to this one, with a good chunk of the entrants being jobbers who commentary couldn’t even identify. The idea here was to just have a spectacle of a match and that went well enough. They didn’t do anything special but again, the whole appeal was in having that many people involved at once, which went fine.

From New York City, New York, July 12, 1986.

Battle Royal

Junkyard Dog, Greg Valentine, King Tonga, Jimmy Hart, Billy Jack Haynes, Harley Race, Lanny Poffo, Iron Mike Sharpe, Pedro Morales, Brutus Beefcake, Tony Atlas, Moondog Spot, British Bulldog, Dynamite Kid, SD Jones, Johnny Valiant, Sivi Afi, Moondog Rex, Tony Garea, Big John Studd, Bobby Heenan, King Kong Bundy

A bunch of people go after Studd to get rid of him as Hart hides underneath the ring. Bundy is out as well, followed by Heenan (oh man seeing Heenan and Hart trying to have a match could have been great), who stops to yell on commentary for a bit. There goes Jones, followed by Sharpe and valiant.

Garea is tossed and Race is gone as well to get rid of the rest of the Heenan Family. There goes Afi and the Bulldogs dropkick the Moondogs out, leaving Dog and Haynes to lock up. Beefcake dumps Kid as Hart is still hiding underneath the ring. Morales is out and then Beefcake goes as well, leaving Valentine against five good guys.

Valentine manages to toss Hayes and Tonga, leaving Valentine, Dog, Bulldog, Poffo and Hart underneath the ring. Poffo and Bulldog are both tossed with Dog being sent through the ropes, where he finds Hart hiding. Dog throws Hart back inside and gets in a fight with Valentine. The two of them go over….and Hart wins at 12:57.

Rating: C. Call this one goofy fun, as it was a bunch of people doing their thing until Hart could come in and steal the win like a cowardly heel should. Hart would be able to brag about this for the better part of ever and that’s exactly how it should have been done. I had a good time with this, even if it was just a countdown to the obvious ending.

From WCW Pro, November 18, 1995.

Battle Royal

Dave Sullivan, Nasty Ned, Disco Inferno, Cobra, Mark Starr, Frankie Lancaster, Barrio Brother Ricky, Barrio Brother Fidel, Buddy Lee Parker, James Earl

Why? It’s a standard brawl to start and yes Disco wants to check his hair. They fight around the ropes until Lancaster is gone, followed by Cobra and Starr. A quick series of eliminations leaves us with Parker and Earl (regular partners) to beat on Disco, who fights up and tosses both of them for the win at 5:03. Disco is more annoyed at his hair getting messed up.

Rating: D+. The thing that interests me the most here is how many shows WCW had and kept running for YEARS. Pro went on until 1998 and was basically forgotten unless you happened to catch it at random. Case in point, any match where Disco Inferno is the biggest of the ten stars is not exactly a high level match, but it was a feature here.

From Superstars, February 16, 1991.

Tag Team Battle Royal

Nasty Boys, Power & Glory, Rockers, Legion Of Doom, Demolition, Bushwhackers, Orient Express

For the Wrestlemania Tag Team Title shot and only one member of a team has to be eliminated. They start the usual exchange of punching, with McMahon saying it’s too much action to call. Demolition loads up the Rockers in a double gorilla press but Marty pulls Shawn down in a smart move. A double superkick eliminates Smash and Demolition is out, followed by the Bushwhackers being thrown out.

Marty accidentally knocks Shawn out and we’re down to Power & Glory, the LOD, the Express and the Nasty Boys. Hawk dumps Kato to get rid of the Express and Animal gorilla presses Tanaka out for a bonus. Roma is sent through the ropes so Animal throws him back in (Piper: “No Animal! The other way!”). Hercules throws Roma at Animal, who pulls him out of the air and easily tosses him. We’re down to the Nastys and the LOD…but Roma crotches Hawk on top and dumps him out 6:19.

Rating: C. I’ve seen this one a few times before and it’s one of those ideas that works rather well. I’ll take it over some of the other ways to set up a title match and it was cool to see a bunch of teams getting to mix it up. The LOD were clearly the smashing machines here and it shouldn’t be a surprise that they would be champions in about six months.

From Smoky Mountain Wrestling TV, January 28, 1995.

Battle Royal

This seems to be more of a Royal Rumble with Robert Gibson in at #1 and New Jack in at #2. Jack kicks him in the face to start so Gibson grabs a small package, with commentary pointing out the instincts taking over. Chris Candido is in at #3 and teams up with Jack on Gibson with a string of elbows. Gibson manages to survive in the corner and it’s George South coming in at #4. The slow brawling ensues and it’s Boo Bradley (Balls Mahoney) in at #5 to go straight after Candido and toss him out. Buddy Landel is in at #6 and they start pairing off and Tommy Pitner is in at #7.

We take a break and the Dirty White Boy is in at #8 to chase Landel out and then go after him as well. So that’s two out, with Bryant Anderson in at #9. Anderson grabs an armbar on Bradley until Mustafa Saed (Jack’s partner) is in at #10. Saed and Jack collide for a double elimination as Bradley chills in the corner for a bit. The Wolfman is in at #11 and goes after Bradley, which doesn’t go well. D’Lo Brown is in at #12 and helps toss Gibson.

Scotty McKeever is in at #13 and Anderson is gone. Bradley and Brown are both out and it’s Unabomb (later known as Kane) is in at #14 for a bunch of powerbombs. Unabomb clears the ring and is left alone until Ricky Morton is in at #15. Morton strikes away as well as he can until Eddie Gilbert is in at #16. Gilbert wastes no time in throwing powder in Morton’s eyes for the elimination and apparently Gilbert and Unabomb both win (good for $5000) at 14:35.

Rating: C+. This was the Unabomb show and they clearly knew they had something special with him. He was huge, he could move, and he had a great look. Don’t bother trying to make it any more complicated than that and it should work. The rest of the match had some fun moments, but Unabomb stood out WAY above everyone else. And not just because he’s tall.

Overall Rating: C. Battle royals are hard to do in the first place, but I liked what they did here as it was a nice mixture of stuff. Rather than just having one battle royal after another, this featured different kinds of matches rather than the same wrestlers doing the same battle royals. It’s a set that was well set up and I’ll absolutely take that.

 

 

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