Main Event
Date: June 10, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick

Things continue their up and down ways around here and I’m running out of ways to say I’m not sure what to expect. That is quite the change of pace after spending so many years talking about how I was out of ways to say that things were too repetitive around here. That means….I have no idea actually. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Angel Garza vs. Mustafa Ali

Ali takes him down by the arm to start and slaps on a headlock to annoy Garza even more. Back up and Garza knocks him into the corner, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS! A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Ali two though and we’re already in the chinlock. Garza fights back up with a kick to the face into a flapjack for two of his own. Ali tries to get up but dives into a right hand to the face for another near fall but it’s too early for a running knee in the corner. A hard posting knocks Garza silly and the Koji Clutch finishes him off at 4:52.

Rating: C. It was energetic while it lasted and it continues to be nice to see Ali getting somewhere. Ali needs to do something on a bigger show but for some reason he is stuck here. Ricochet getting some time on Raw is encouraging but I’m still not sold on that being the case again so soon. Garza is right there with him, making this all the more puzzling.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman to get things going. Reigns talks about being direct in how he is feeling, because he wasn’t happy last week. He has had the counsel of a wise man and a week to chew on it though and now he has changed his mind on the Usos getting a Tag Team Title shot tonight.

Reigns may be the centerpiece but he is also a giver. Let’s get the Usos out here right now (Heyman: “USOS’ MUSIC RIGHT NOW!”) because we need to talk about this. Jey is cool with Reigns and Jimmy says it’s time to become the seven time champs. Reigns says bring him the titles when it’s over and drops the mic. The Usos seem cool with that.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoulders Dominik to start but it’s a dropkick into an armbar to put Jimmy down. Rey comes in and gets powerbombed onto Jimmy for two as Cole says the Usos have somehow never had a match against Rey Mysterio of any kind (I love little trivia like that). It’s off to Jey for a backbreaker, setting up an assisted hot shot for two. Jey gets in a cheap shot from the floor and drops Rey onto the apron to bang up his back.

Back in and Rey manages to send Jey over the ropes to the floor but a suicide dive is countered into a Samoan drop onto the announcers’ table (OW). We take a break and come back with Rey still in trouble, including Jey grabbing a reverse chinlock. Jey hands it off to Jimmy but Rey sends them into each other in the corner. The tag brings Dominik back in to dive onto both Usos at once. Back in and a neckbreaker drops Jey but Jimmy catches him with a kick to the ribs.

A run up the corner sets up a tornado DDT for two on Jimmy as everything breaks down. Rey hits a running seated senton to take Jey down on the floor but walks into a superkick from Jimmy. Back in and Jimmy hits Dominik with one as well but Dominik grabs a rollup to retain at 14:25, thought he replay shows that the shoulder was up at two (with commentary pointing it out several times).

Rating: C. The ending didn’t help things but the rest of this worked out well enough. What matters here is the finish though, as that is going to give Reigns a reason to yell at them. A pay per view rematch wouldn’t surprise me but I can’t imagine that this is done anytime soon. The Usos seem destined to get the titles eventually, and that is probably best for everyone.

Roman Reigns tells Paul Heyman to bring them to him.

From Smackdown.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio

The Usos are challenging and Jimmy takes Dominik down for three straight near falls. It’s off to Jey, who hits a belly to back suplex into a neckbreaker to send Dominik outside. Jey’s dive takes Dominik out again and we take a break. Back with Jey hammering away on Dominik but getting rolled into the corner for his efforts. Rey, in a shirt for an odd look, comes in and hits the springboard spinning crossbody for two on Jimmy. A hurricanrana takes Jimmy down and there’s the sliding splash to crush him on the floor. Back in and the 619 connects and Dominik goes up….but Roman Reigns comes in for the DQ at 8:12.

Rating: C. The ending surprised me but it is cool to see Reigns getting to wreck people. There is a good chance that they do this a third time at the pay per view, which would be a good enough way to have the Usos take the titles. Either way, Reigns continues to be excellent and that is all you need around here for the most part.

Post match Reigns cleans house and yells at Jimmy for embarrassing the family twice. Reigns destroys both Mysterios with stair shots before throwing Rey over the barricade. Dominik gets choked out and Jimmy says that’s enough. Roman finally lets go as Jimmy says it doesn’t need to be like this. Jimmy walks off and calls Jey to come with him. Hold on though as Reigns gets in Jey’s face, leaving Jey confused. Reigns isn’t done with Dominik though as he hammers away and nails a big powerbomb to end the show. Rey vs. Reigns could work for the pay per view title match.

Video on Drew McIntyre beating Kofi Kingston in a heck of a match to become the new #1 contender to Bobby Lashley.

From Raw.

It’s time for the contract signing for the title match. Well in theory at least, as there is no Lashley. McIntyre talks about how he isn’t waiting because he knows how this is going to go. Yeah he has had a bunch of title shots (er, championship opportunities) and they remind him of a story from when he was a kid. He remembers the story of a Scottish King called Robert the Bruce who was once stuck in a cave for three months.

There was a spider on the roof of the cage and it never could put together a web. Finally he made it work and that inspired Bruce to go to battle one more time and he won Scotland’s freedom. There is a famous quote that Bruce said before the battle, and McIntyre is going to paraphrase it: “If at first you don’t succeed, beat Lashley’s a** at Hell in a Cell and get your championship back!”. McIntyre goes to sign but here are MVP, Lashley and the women to interrupt.

MVP asks what Lashley’s reward will be for not interfering last week. Maybe this should be McIntyre’s FINAL shot at the title, with McIntyre immediately accepting. However, he has something he wants to: no interference, no excuses, and inside the Cell. McIntyre signs and Lashley talks about how the real ending to the story is McIntyre tucking his kilt in shame and walking away.

Lashley signs as well so McIntyre talks about falling off the Cell before and being willing to go and do it again to win his title back. Everything seems to be set….so McIntyre whips out a sword and breaks the table. Well that escalated quickly. What didn’t happen quickly was the start of this segment, because NOTHING on this show can happen without five plus minutes of talking first.

Hell in a Cell rundown.

Jinder Mahal vs. Shelton Benjamin

Mahal has Veer and Shanky with him. Benjamin takes him into the corner for a clean break to start and then does it again for a bonus. With that not working, Shelton wrestles him down and then lifts him up by the waist a few times in a row. A clothesline puts Mahal on the floor, followed by the slingshot dive.

Benjamin gets sent hard into the steps though and we take a break. Back with Mahal working on a chinlock and sending Benjamin hard into the corner. The chinlock goes on again but this time Benjamin fights up with a suplex. Shanky offers a distraction though and it’s the Khallas to finish Benjamin at 10:30.

Rating: D+. And this is the Mahal that fans have been worried about seeing again. This was another boring match with Mahal’s big move being the Shanky distraction to set up the cobra clutch slam. I would really hope that he could figure out how to do something else during his long layoff, yet here we are for whatever reason. Lucky us indeed.

We look at Alexa Bliss and Lily tormenting Shayna Baszler.

The Eva-Lution is coming.

From Raw.

And now, Alexa’s Playground to wrap it up. Bliss talks about how she and Lily could make a new friend tonight but here is Shayna Baszler to interrupt in a hurry. She blames Bliss for everything that has been going wrong as of late, including Reginald’s “accidents”. Baszler can make it all better by apologizing to Lily, but that isn’t happening because it’s just a doll. That’s too far for Bliss, who jumps Baszler to start the fight.

Baszler sends her outside and, with an extreme closeup of the shoe, stomps on Lily’s head. Bliss freaks out and the video screens go all wacky. Then fire starts shooting out of the posts and Baszler freaks out and runs to the back. We go into horror movie mode with Baszler running through the back and saying it’s just a stupid doll. She hides in a locker room but sees Lily in the mirror. Baszler screams a lot and breaks the mirror as the lights go out to end the show.

I’m not going to bother telling you that this is dumb because you already know that. Shayna Baszler, probably the most successful woman in NXT history, is now in a bad horror movie because Alexa Bliss’ evil doll doesn’t like being called stupid. This was another good example of WWE trying to be WAY too smart for their own good and having a horrible ten minutes as a result, but in their minds this is probably gold. You knew it was coming and then it was even worse than expected, which is WWE in a nutshell these days. Absolutely awful, again.

Overall Rating: C-. The fact that Roman Reigns was good enough to make me get around the idea of Shayna Baszler being tormented by an evil doll should tell you where he is at the moment. That is about as high of a level of praise as you are going to be able to get and it worked here. The rest of the show was the usual Main Event mixture of hit and miss, but that Shayna/Lily stuff needs to go far, far away. Ali can’t make Raw but that can, and that should tell you a lot about where the show is these days.

 

 

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Main Event
Date: May 27, 2021
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

It still isn’t quite the top show on the ladder but Main Event has become a lot more fun than it was…well almost ever actually. I’m not sure what to expect here, though this week’s Raw was pretty good so hopefully the highlights work. I’m almost curious to see what is next and that is a weird feeling. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.Opening sequence.

We actually open on commentary, who throw us to our first highlight. Ok then.

From Raw.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler vs. Tamina/Natalya

Tamina and Natalya are defending. Baszler and Tamina start, with Baszler shoving Natalya on the apron. That means it’s Natalya coming in instead, with Baszler grabbing the arm. They go into a pinfall reversal sequence with Baszler putting on a keylock to slow things back down. Baszler grabs a quickly broken Sharpshooter so she loads up the arm strong but freaking Reginald comes out, allowing Natalya to roll away. We take a break and come back with Baszler still working on Natalya’s arm but Natalya slips out.

The tag brings in Tamina for a low superkick to Nia, but a second attempt is countered into a sloppy rollup for two. The stomping is on in the corner but Tamina hits Baszler in the face. Everything breaks down and Tamina gets backdropped over the barricade. Natalya hits the discus lariat on Baszler but Reginald gets on the apron for a distraction, meaning Baszler’s small package only gets two. Reginald goes up the ramp but fire goes off to knock him down, allowing Natalya to small package Baszler for the retaining pin at 11:44.

Rating: C. So not only did they do the same “distraction leads to a missed rollup” that Miz and Morrison did a few weeks ago, but we also get another finish built around Reginald. He’s talented at acrobatics and all that jazz but WHY IS HE ON THIS SHOW??? He was brought in because Carmella needed a lackey and for some reason that gets him a job for life? Oh and Nia thinks someone half her size is cute, because that’s an idea they needed to resurrect after Enzo Amore was released.

Post match Shayna helps Reginald up and then grabs him, saying that she wants the “Cirque du Soleil Sommelier” next week, where she will make him wish he died in that explosion. Oh for goodness’ sake. That’s their big hook to end the show going into a holiday episode? Sure why not.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns, Jey Uso and Paul Heyman for a chat. Reigns considers himself humble and teaches his kids about it every chance he can. Since he is humble though, he needs Paul Heyman to brag about him instead. Heyman goes over Reigns’ time as Universal Champion, including sending Daniel Bryan into Bella retirement. He asks if he can do anything for Reigns, who wants his cousin out here. Heyman: “JIMMY USO! JIMMY USO! PLAY JIMMY USO’S MUSIC!”

Instead he gets Cesaro, who talks about the annoying yapping that he has been hearing. Cesaro says he can fight with one arm (because it’s just a flesh wound) and wants to fight Reigns at Hell in a Cell. Cue Seth Rollins to jump Cesaro from behind and send the arm into the steps. Rollins is sent to the back but comes back to beat on Cesaro again. Referees get him away again but this time Rollins jumps over the barricade and hits a Stomp. Cue the stretcher to get Cesaro out of here.

We recap Bobby Lashley issuing an open challenge and then losing to Kofi Kingston in a non-title match.

From Raw.

MVP opens things up and brings out WWE Champion Bobby Lashley, with some different women than last week. After a recap of Kofi Kingston pinning Lashley last week, MVP asks for a round of applause for the champ. At the same time, they are coming up on the return of fans, where you can see Lashley in person. That brings MVP to Drew McIntyre, who Lashley has beaten a few times now, meaning they are sick of him.

MVP likes the idea of Kingston rising up to face Lashley and he did, but that dark cloud got involved (cue Drew’s music) “AGAIN!”. McIntyre says everyone knew he was going to be there last week and now he wants his one on one rematch for the title. He gets in the ring and asks the ladies if Lashley has the testicular fortitude to face him one on one. The women back off and Lashley isn’t having this but here is New Day to interrupt.

Kingston reminds up (multiple times) that he pinned Lashley last week, with Lashley bringing up McIntyre’s interference. With that win, Kingston thinks he should get a rematch, which he never got after losing his title. Why is McIntyre getting rematch after rematch after rematch? McIntyre isn’t cool with that but here is Adam Pearce to make a #1 contenders match, with the winner getting Lashley at the pay per view.

From Raw.

Drew McIntyre vs. Kofi Kingston

MVP and Lashley are with the ladies in the VIP Lounge on the stage while Xavier Woods is at ringside as the winner gets Lashley next month for the title. Kofi’s headlock doesn’t get him very far as McIntyre throws him down without much effort. The toss suplex is countered with a knee to the head though and Kofi snaps off a Russian legsweep. There’s the slingshot splash for two on McIntyre, with Lashley approving.

Kingston sends him outside and nails the slingshot shot to the head. Kofi gets caught in an electric chair though and the reverse Alabama Slam sends him into the apron as we take a break. Back with McIntyre in control and snapping off a belly to belly suplex. Another knockdown gives McIntyre two but Kofi gets in a shot to the face to set up a middle rope dropkick. A quick guillotine attempt is countered into a suplex to give Drew two and frustration is setting in.

Kingston’s jumping double stomp gets two and, after headbutting Drew off the top, Kingston hits a high crossbody….which McIntyre rolls through into a Michinoku Driver. McIntyre gets distracted by Lashley through and we take another break. Back again with MVP and Lashley at ringside and McIntyre hitting a belly to back superplex for two. A spinebuster into a sitout powerbomb gets the same but McIntyre goes shoulder first into the post. Kofi sends him outside and dives onto McIntyre, MVP and Lashley at the same time. Back in and the SOS gets two, which draws in MVP and Lashley for the double DQ at 21:14.

Rating: B. Can we just skip MVP and Lashley gloating and announce the triple threat? If that’s too cliched, let us have the rematch already because the idea of the villains thinking they have outsmarted everyone has been played out for years. The match was good though, as having a former champion in there gave even the slightest hint that something could go down, which is very nice to have.

Post match the brawl is on, with McIntyre clearing the ring.

Ricochet vs. Mustafa Ali

2/3 falls match (I might need a minute here). Ricochet takes him down and hammers away but Ali gets in a toss over to the apron. That’s fine with Ricochet, who sends him outside for a dive. Ali is sent into the barricade and they head back inside for an exchange of near falls. Back up and Ali gets sent to the floor, where he pulls Ricochet out with him. Ricochet gets tossed into the barricade for a countout at 2:52.

The second fall starts after a break with Ali getting some near falls and grabbing a neck crank. That’s broken up with a belly to back suplex and Ricochet starts hammering away. Ali is right back with a tornado DDT for two but Ricochet catches him on top with a German suplex. It’s time for Ricochet to go up but Ali shoves the referee into the rope for a DQ to even things up at 8:30.

We take another break and come back again with Ali hitting a running neckbreaker but Ricochet grabs a Side Effect. A superkick into a sitout powerbomb gives Ali two but Ricochet rolls away as he goes up top. They head outside again and this time Ricochet suplexes him off of the barricade. That’s good for a double dive back inside to beat the count and it’s time to slug it out.

They’re right back on the floor with Ricochet hitting a Michinoku Driver to rock Ali. Back in again and the 630 misses, allowing Ali to grab the Koji Clutch. That’s broken up as well and Ricochet knocks him down, only to have to bail out of the 450. A pinfall reversal sequence goes back and forth so Ali goes up….and dives into the Recoil to give Ricochet the pin at 16:18.

Rating: B-. I can’t believe it but this was the kind of thing that we might actually get on Main Event these days. It was so nice to have something built up over the last few weeks and then pay it off here, though it helps even more to have a heck of a match. This was as good as you would have expected with both guys working hard and putting in the effort, which hopefully gets them noticed. It shouldn’t have to, but you hope for what you can get.

From Smackdown.

We get another Aleister Black lesson, as he talks about the Beautiful Plan. This one seems to be about his tattoos, which he uses to hide his deepest and darkest sins. His father always said that there this world is full of cruel thoughts. The people will live proudly in their cesspool of sins because it is all they are. That has become their identity, to become lonesome and blind. They are sick and dying animals and it is time to separate the weak from the strong and cull the herd.

From Smackdown.

Intercontinental Title: Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens vs. Big E. vs. Apollo Crews

Crews, with Commander Azeez, is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Owens charges at Sami to start and they fight out to the floor in a hurry. That leaves Crews to punch and forearm Big E. in various places but Big E. gets in his own elbow. Big E. comes back in but gets enziguried, allowing Sami to get back in and stomp on Owens. Sami is sent outside so Big E. can hammer away, setting up the apron splash onto Sami and Crews at the same time.

Owens hits the big flip dive onto Big E. though and we take a break. Back with Crews hitting a big standing dropkick to send Big E. outside. Crews moonsaults off the apron onto Big E. but Sami hits a dive off the barricade. That means some Sami gloating but here is Big E. to drop Owens again. Owens gets two off the Swanton back inside with Big E. having to make a save.

Back in and Big E. hits three German suplexes for two on Big E. Sami’s exploder suplex sends Owens into the corner and a Michinoku Driver gets two. Everything breaks down for a series of knockdowns, including Big E. spearing Crews through the ropes to the floor as we take a break.

Back again with Big E. suplexing everyone else until Sami kicks him in the face to break up the Warrior splash. Owens hits his fisherman’s brainbuster onto the knee but Crews catches him on top. Big E. suplexes Crews as he suplexes Sami, leaving Owens to hit the frog splash on Big E. for the near falls. Owens starts rolling the Cannonballs but walks into the Blue Thunder Bomb from Sami.

Some superkicks put everyone else down and Owens hits the Pop Up Powerbomb for two on Crews. Owens sends Sami into the timekeeper’s area but Sami is right back with a half and half suplex on the floor. Back in and the Big Ending hits Crews but Commander Azeez breaks up the pin. Big E. posts Azeez….and the lights go very bright. Cue Aleister Black for Black Mass on Big E., giving Crews the pin (seemingly by accident rather than Black intentionally helping him) to retain at 21:52.

Rating: B. They went with the all action formula here and that worked out rather well. The match certainly didn’t feel like it was nearly twenty two minutes and it was something that kept my attention. Crews retaining works and it also wraps up Big E. vs. Crews as Black can be the new villain. Good main event here, but more importantly it felt big, which is a lot more important.

Overall Rating: B. Somehow, this was actually a good show, which is not something I would have ever expected to say just a few weeks ago. It’s the difference between a filler show and something where WWE is actually using the time to try something. This isn’t going to mean anything in the big picture, but I cannot imagine why you would have television time and just waste every second of it. WWE isn’t likely to continue it, but at least they are doing something right here for one week.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Main Event
Date: May 13, 2006
Location: Yuengling Center, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Kevin Patrick

We’re coming up on Wrestlemania Backlash and that means it is probably going to be a show built around setting up the pay per view. In other words, a lot of Charlotte, Braun Strowman, Roman Reigns and the rest of the Raw and Smackdown players. That being said, Main Event has gotten a bit of an upgrade lately so maybe they can keep it going, at least a little bit. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

For the first time in far longer than I can remember, we actually open with something other than the standard opening sequence. Instead it’s a video on Ricochet vs. Mustafa Ali, as they have split matches on this show. Ali sends Ricochet a text saying “run it back”, meaning he wants a rematch. Ricochet, in a car, smiles and turns around. WHY COULDN’T WE HAVE SPENT YEARS DOING SOMETHING LIKE THIS????

Opening sequence.

Naomi vs. Nikki Cross

Lana is here with Naomi and it is nice to see Cross back. They shake hands to start and Naomi takes her into the corner for a clean break. A headlock takeover puts Cross down but she blocks a backslide attempt and grabs an armbar. Back up and Cross’ monkey flip is broken up so Naomi can enziguri her out to the floor. Naomi throws her back in for another headlock, followed by a bodyscissors to keep Cross in trouble. Cross slips out and hits a running seated senton for two but Naomi hits a springboard kick to the face. A bulldog is broken up and Cross hits the hanging swinging neckbreaker for the pin at 5:21.

Rating: C. The more I see of Cross the more I like her and it is great to see her getting to showcase herself here. Naomi has lost so many matches that another one isn’t going to mean a thing so having Cross get a win here could give her a nice boost. Above all else, maybe it means she is going somewhere. Then again not likely, but Main Event Cross is better than no Cross.

We look back at Roman Reigns retaining the Universal Title over Daniel Bryan and then Conchairtoing him as Cesaro was forced to watch.

From Smackdown, after Rollins jumped Cesaro in the aisle.

Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins

The Usos are at ringside. Cesaro, favoring his shoulder, pulls himself up and says ring the bell so Cesaro knocks him to the floor in a hurry. Back in and Cesaro hammers away but Rollins slips out of a gorilla press and kicks the knee out. Cesaro reverses a suplex into one of his own but the Swing is blocked. Instead Cesaro rolls him up for two but the Neutralizer is countered into a backdrop to the apron. Jey Uso offers a distraction so Rollins can hit the top rope superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two more.

Back with Rollins getting to the rope to avoid the Sharpshooter and Crossface but Cesaro puts him on top instead. Rollins comes right back with a buckle bomb but Cesaro comes out of the corner with a hard clothesline. Rollins gets sent outside where Jey checks on him, but Rollins doesn’t want the help and shoves him down. That earns Rollins a superkick so Cesaro dives onto Jimmy. Back in and the Neutralizer sends Cesaro to Backlash at 12:42.

Rating: C+. It wasn’t quite their Wrestlemania match but it wasn’t supposed to be. This was about getting Cesaro to the pay per view and they did that quite well, with the Uso screwup probably getting them in trouble with Reigns. Cesaro is on a roll and it makes a lot of sense to give him the title shot at the pay per view. Good stuff here, and Rollins teasing a bit of a different side could be very good for him.

From Smackdown.

Here are Roman Reigns, Paul Heyman and Jey Uso to wrap things up. Reigns starts recapping things but here’s Jimmy to interrupt. Jimmy recaps Jey vs. Roman Reigns in the I Quit match in the Cell, where Jimmy ran in for the save and got choked out, with Jey quitting to save his brother.

After that tape that they just happened to have laying around, Jimmy says he never would have quit. Reigns can’t believe that’s what this is about because he and Jey have moved forward. He isn’t going back and forth with Jimmy, who needs to fall in line and stand with them. Either that, or go home and watch Reigns and the Uso (singular) with his kids.

Jimmy goes to leave, gets conflicted, and then keeps walking. Jey goes to the floor to talk to him but here is Cesaro to jump Reigns. Despite Jimmy trying to hold him back, Jey runs in for the save but gets beaten down. Jimmy hesitates but comes in to go after Cesaro as well, earning himself the pop up European uppercut. A nearly botched Neutralizer plants Jey and there’s a better one to Reigns to end the show.

Eva Marie wants to be a role model.

From Raw.

Rhea Ripley vs. Asuka

Non-title. Ripley drives her up against the ropes to start but has to duck a shot to the face. A standoff lets Ripley stick out her jaw for a free shot, only to have Asuka sweep the leg. Ripley blocks a drop toehold into the corner and then has to go tot he ropes to block a cross armbreaker. They head outside with Ripley getting in a shot of her own….and here is Charlotte for a distraction so Asuka can hit a spinning backfist.

We take a break and come back with Charlotte on commentary as Ripley steps on Asuka’s back. Some clotheslines drops Asuka again but she sends Ripley outside. The knee off the apron has Ripley in trouble but she blocks the Asuka Lock back inside. Asuka is knocked outside where she glares at Charlotte, allowing Ripley to nail a headbutt.

Back in and Riptide is countered into a Codebreaker for two. Ripley heads outside to yell at Charlotte, allowing Asuka to hit a hip attack off the announcers’ table. Back in and a missile dropkick gives Asuka two but the hip attack in the corner is pulled out of the air. Ripley kicks Asuka in the head and hits Riptide for the pin at 12:15.

Rating: C. I’m really not sure what it means when I’m relieved that Ripley got a win. The title reign has been a near disaster for her, as Ripley has gone from being the brand new big deal to playing third fiddle to these two (and maybe even fifth fiddle to Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss). It will help a bit if she retains on Sunday, but it isn’t going to matter if we just get another Charlotte story out of the whole thing.

Mustafa Ali vs. Ricochet

Round three. They lock up to start with Ali shouldering him down in a hurry. With that going nowhere, Ricochet grabs a headlock to little avail as we’re right back to a standoff. Ricochet punches his way out of the corner and we’re already into a chinlock. That’s broken up in a hurry and Ali snaps off a belly to back suplex into a chinlock of his own. Back up and Ali sends him outside in a big heap as we take a break.

We come back with Ali shouting about being better than Ricochet, who scores with a running clothesline. A hiptoss puts Ali down so Ricochet rolls forward to pick him up into a suplex (cool) for two more. Ricochet’s bridging German suplex gets the same but Ali knocks him off the top.

A top rope sunset flip….keeps on going with Ali picking him up into a sitout powerbomb for two more. Ricochet manages to crotch him on top though and a super swinging neckbreaker (with Ricochet half dropping him on the way down) puts them both down. They head to the apron with Ricochet going up, only to have Ali grab him by the ears and suplex him to the floor. That’s enough of a crash for the double countout at 11:04. Or no contest, because modern wrestling likes to make things more complicated.

Rating: B. Ignoring the annoying official decision, this was a heck of a match that gives then a reason to have one more match, hopefully not on Main Event. That being said, I could go for it around here, just for the sake of having the match get a little more time. Good stuff here though, with both guys busting out some different and unique stuff and tearing the house down, even if there is a million to one shot of anyone caring.

Video on Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman vs. Drew McIntyre.

From Raw.

Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre

Non-title and MVP is here with Lashley. It’s a brawl to start but Lashley can’t get an early Hurt Lock. Instead he snaps McIntyre’s throat across the top and grabs a neckbreaker for two. Some choking on the ropes keeps McIntyre in trouble until he gets in a shot to the face to take things outside. McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly and we take a break.

Back with Lashley puling McIntyre off the middle rope for a crash, followed by the Downward Spiral for two. We hit the chinlock but Lashley’s suplex attempt is countered into one from McIntyre. Lashley runs him over again though and they head outside with McIntyre being posted this time. Back in and McIntyre sends him flying into the corner, followed by a pair of belly to belly suplexes.

There’s a jumping neckbreaker into the nipup and the Glasgow Kiss rocks Lashley again. MVP is panicking as McIntyre grabs a spinebuster for two. Lashley is back with a crossbody but the Hurt Lock is blocked. Instead Lashley suplexes him down, only to walk into the Claymore. Cue Braun Strowman to jump McIntyre from behind for the DQ at 13:27.

Rating: D+. They might as well have had a big clock over the ring here, counting down until Strowman ran in. There was little drama here and the WWE Title match at Wrestlemania should not feel like a tired match thirty days after the show. This feud has been a nightmare for everyone involved, including the people watching it, and this was the latest boring piece added onto the top.

Post match, Strowman gives McIntyre a running powerslam, followed by one to Lashley for daring to hug Strowman. Another powerslam plants McIntyre, and another sends Lashley through the part of the barricade designed for destruction. A third powerslam plants McIntyre to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’m trying to get my mind around the idea of WWE actually caring about Main Event, even if it is just beefing up the use of some lower level people. Throw in Nikki Cross returning and it seemed like we had something that came close to mattering here. I could go for more of this, though I still have no reason to believe it is going to last. Years and years of the same thing can kind of break your will.

 

 

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Main Event
Date: May 6, 2021
Location: Capitol Wrestling Center, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

Things are starting to pick up around here a little bit, as we have had an angle and a much higher profile match over the last few weeks. Last week saw Ricochet face Mustafa Ali, which is not the kind of match that you get to see around here very often. Now we get to see where things go from here, which will likely be right back to normal. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Ricochet vs. Mustafa Ali

Ok so it’s still going for another week. Ricochet dropkicks him down at the bell and hits a flying forearm, allowing him to hammer away. A kick to the face knocks Ali out of the corner and a springboard clothesline gives Ricochet two. Ali flapjacks him out of the corner for a breather though and the sneering is strong as he shouts that Ricochet can’t beat him.

Ricochet kicks away from a half crab attempt but gets caught in it a few seconds later. That’s broken up with a rope grab and Ricochet goes up top for a shooting star press crossbody, because of course he does. A kick to the chest and a clothesline drop Ali, followed by a dragon suplex for two. Ali hits the knee again and grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes (ala how he won last week) but Ricochet reverses into a rollup of his own for the pin at 5:45.

Rating: C+. It’s almost hard to imagine a story being told with Main Event matches yet here we are, mainly due to how good these people can be in the ring. For the life of me I don’t get how they aren’t more prominently featured on one of the major shows, or just as a tag team who can bring some energy to the shows. Either way, it’s a nice little boost for Main Event, even if I have no reason to believe it lasts.

We recap Daniel Bryan pushing for Cesaro to get a Universal Title shot but ultimately getting one himself.

From Smackdown.

Universal Title: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan

Reigns, with Paul Heyman and some rather epic new music, is defending. Bryan dropkicks him into the corner to start and fires off the kicks but Reigns drops him with a single shot. A headlock is countered into a failed YES Lock attempt with Reigns bailing to the floor. That means a dropkick through the ropes into a running knee from the apron as we take a break. Back with Reigns turning him inside out off of a clothesline and grabbing a snap suplex.

The chinlock goes on to keep Bryan in trouble, followed by a right hand to the head to put Bryan down again. Bryan fights back with some kicks and puts Reigns on top, but the super hurricanrana is countered into a superbomb for two as we take a break. Back again with Reigns firing off some knees in the corner. Bryan gets in a shot of his own and puts Reigns on top for a belly to back superplex.

The cover is delayed so Reigns gets out, meaning they’re both down again for a bit. Bryan is up first and gets smart by kicking at the arm a bit more, followed by some snaps over his shoulder. Reigns misses a charge and falls to the floor, setting up the suicide dive. That’s pulled out of the air and Reigns snaps off a belly to belly. The spear only hits barricade though and we take another break.

Back again with Bryan hitting the Swan Dive for two but Reigns hits the Superman Punch for the same. The running knee connects but Reigns gets a foot on the rope. Bryan slaps on the YES Lock, which is quickly reversed into a cradle for the break. Reigns hits the spear for a near fall and Reigns is stunned. The guillotine can’t go on in full as Bryan reverses into the YES Lock again but Reigns powers out. The heavy forearms knock Bryan silly and a heck of a powerbomb plants him again. Reigns goes to pick him up and puts on the guillotine, this time with the healthy arm and Bryan is out at 27:18.

Rating: A-. This was just a step behind their Fastlane classic and that’s more than great on a free TV match. There is something great about Bryan using the technical abilities to cut Reigns down but Reigns kept coming back with straight power. Then Reigns switched to the intelligence by switching to the good arm for the win and that was just too much. Awesome match here, and one of the better TV matches in recent memory. Also: McAfee was outstanding here and sounded like the best and most polished WWE broadcaster in a very long time. He really is awesome at this and I’m impressed.

Post match Reigns grabs some chairs but here is Cesaro for the save. Cesaro knocks Reigns to the floor but Jey Uso jumps him from behind. Uso ties Cesaro in the ropes and Reigns gives Bryan the Conchairto to end the show.

From Raw.

Eva Marie, now with slightly pink hair, is back. She is laying on a car and asking if she has out attention now. Eva says she wants to make things better and be in a place that challenges her, so the Eva-Lution has begun.

From Raw.

Cue Sonya Deville, who, after a break, is in the ring as Charlotte talks about how glad she is to be back. However, she needs to be added to the Wrestlemania Backlash title match because she is a big star. Putting her in the title match is going to make it a bigger deal because she is a big deal. She is an influencer and whether you love her or hate her, the division needs her. Charlotte tells Sonya to be fair to Flair, which is enough to get Sonya to add her to the title match.

Cue Rhea Ripley to say this is nonsense and Charlotte shouldn’t be in the title match again for the obvious reason: nobody likes her. Ripley and Asuka have a purpose in the match, but adding Charlotte is unfair. Cue Asuka to say she’s ready for both of the. Charlotte promises to win the title but Ripley gets in Sonya’s face. Charlotte jumps Ripley from behind and the fight is on with Asuka clearing the ring. I don’t think there was any doubt that Charlotte was going to be added, though it almost feels like trolling the fans.

Backlash rundown.

From Smackdown.

Aleister Black talks about people looking at him and judging him because this is the nature of man. We go to the animation again, with Black talking about walking the halls in high school and having everyone think something about him. People cared about building their own lives on a foundation of lies. Imagine thinking that is real or falling for that. His father never fed him those dreams, because the truth is that there is something horribly wrong with all of that and all of you. He could give us the keys, but he won’t. The animation is a different way to go and these are intriguing so far.

Jeff Hardy vs. Jinder Mahal

This is Mahal’s return for the first time in nearly a year and has Veer and Shanky, formerly known as Indus Sher, with him. Hardy charges at him in the corner and hammers away before firing off shoulders in the corner. Mahal gets in a shot to the back and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Mahal dumps him over the top for the big crash and we take a break before Veer and Shanky can maul him.

We come back with Mahal stomping away even more, followed by some shoulders to the ribs. A suplex gives Mahal two and we hit the abdominal stretch. Jeff jawbreaks his way to freedom and forearms him down, setting up the basement dropkick for two. Mahal avoids a charge in the corner though and hits a jumping knee to the face. The Khallas finishes Hardy at 9:18.

Rating: C-. Yep, this was a Jinder Mahal match and it’s the same thing it always was: the same boring, basic match, with Mahal being in great shape and not being able to do anything memorable whatsoever. I’m sure he’ll get some big push and will likely have a feud with Drew McIntyre, as fans continue to not be overly interested in the most generic heel wrestling imaginable.

Video on the Backlash triple threat match for the Raw World Title.

From Raw.

Bobby Lashley vs. Braun Strowman

Non-title and MVP is here too. Lashley’s running shoulder to start just annoys Strowman so he clotheslines Lashley outside instead. Back in and Lashley runs Strowman over with his own clothesline but Strowman is right back up….as Drew McIntyre comes out. The distraction lets Lashley take Strowman down again, allowing him to tease an alliance with McIntyre as we take a break. Back with McIntyre on commentary and Lashley choking on the rope.

Lashley keeps hammering away and hitting a running right hand in the corner as commentary brings up Drew McIntyre taking promo classes back in the day. Strowman is back with an electric chair to Lashley (whose eyes bug out when he goes up) but he slips out of the running powerslam. The Hurt Lock is blocked and Strowman hits a sidewalk slam. They head outside with the Strowman Express hitting McIntyre by mistake. McIntyre gets up on the apron and the distraction lets Lashley hit the spear for the pin at 13:12.

Rating: D+. Good night I’m bored with this feud. It’s just three people attacking each other over and over again on Raw, leading up to them all hitting each other at once (and I bet it doesn’t even turn into a paining as Eye of the Tiger starts playing). This three way feud has been so dull and lifeless and it needs to wrap up already. Next week is likely going to be McIntyre vs. Lashley because that’s the most obvious and easy thing that WWE could do, which is why I fully expect it.

Overall Rating: C. I’m not sure how to handle the idea of Main Event being treated like a (very minor) place where things happen. It was the kind of show that doesn’t mean very much but if we get to use it as a tryout for new things, I’ll accept it as the televised, one off version of a house show. The show still isn’t good, but at least it is moderately more interesting and that’s an upgrade.

 

 

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205 Live
Date: April 9, 2021
Host: Nigel McGuinness

It’s Wrestlemania weekend and since this show means all of absolutely nothing in WWE, this is a best of show. That might be the best thing that can be done for the cruiserweights, as it isn’t like anyone is paying attention to this show this weekend. Hopefully we get some of the actual greatest hits as there are a lot to pick from. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Nigel McGuinness welcomes us to the show and sends us to our first match.

From the Wrestlemania XXXIV Kickoff Show.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

From Wrestlemania XXXV, again on the Kickoff Show.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese

Murphy is defending and this is during Nese’s (who won a tournament to get here) not so great face run. First good thing: there are a bunch of people in their seats already so the place doesn’t look ridiculous. Murphy misses a running knee at the bell so Nese hammers away in the corner and tells the fans that this is his Wrestlemania moment. A cartwheel off the apron lets Nese hit him in the jaw but Murphy grabs a fireman’s carry drop onto the corner (Colt Cabana’s Chicago Skyline) as we take a break.

Back with Murphy holding a chinlock but getting suplexed into the corner to cut things off. Some running elbows to the face rock Murphy and the Lionsault, with Murphy hanging in the ropes, gets two. Nese catches him on the ropes with a palm strike, only to get pulled into a Cheeky Nandos kick. A powerbomb into a spinning faceplant gives Murphy two as we get the “still filing in line” from commentary. Murphy’s Law is countered and Nese hits a reverse hurricanrana to put them both down again.

Murphy wins a strike off but Nese is right back with a sunset driver for his own near fall as the fans are finally getting into this. The running Nese doesn’t get to launch so Nese hits the Fosbury Flop instead. Back in and the 450 gets two in a surprising near fall. The jumping knee connects out of nowhere and Murphy’s Law gets two as Nese gets a foot on the rope. Ever the villain, Murphy tries his own running Nese, which is cut off by a superkick. The real running Nese finishes Murphy at 10:44.

Rating: C. The 205 Live guys had several matches that would blow this one away but at least they had a nice moment in the end with the fans getting into things. Nese as a face didn’t exactly click but beating Murphy felt like a bit deal. It’s a nice mini feel good moment to start what is going to be a long night.

From Takeover XXXI.

Cruiserweight Title: Isaiah Scott vs. Santos Escobar

Escobar is defending and gets taken down by an early anklescissors. A standoff doesn’t last long as Scott sends him outside for a moonsault, followed by a middle rope corkscrew dive to take the champ down again. Scott isn’t done as he hits a big Fosbury Flop to take him down again. Escobar’s arm is bent around the post on the floor for two back inside but Escobar snaps the neck across the top rope to get his first breather.

The suicide dive drives Scott into the barricade and it’s time to slowly stomp away back inside. That includes some SPANISH TRASH TALKING (so you know he’s serious) until Scott pops him in the jaw. Scott sends him outside for a bit, followed by the rolling Downward Spiral for two back inside. A DDT out of the corner gives Scott two more but here’s Legado del Fantasma for the distraction. Escobar grabs a shoulderbreaker (might have been a botched something else) for two and they head to the apron.

A springboard hurricanrana sends Escobar into the other two and here’s Ashante Adonis to take care of Legado. Back in and Escobar hits a jumping superkick into the Phantom Driver for a rather close two. Escobar hits Three Amigos but the frog splash is blocked. Scott snaps the arm and the House Call connects, setting up a 450 for two more. They go to the apron with Escobar knocking him head first into the post to knock Scott silly, setting up a double underhook facebuster to retain at 14:22.

Rating: B. They had me believing that the title would change here (and I wanted it to as I like Scott a good deal) but Escobar winning is the right call after he only won the title a few months ago. I’m not sure who is going to take the title from him, but they had a very solid back and forth match here. Having Adonis get rid of Legado make it more interesting so well done on a nice swerve before the ending.

Overall Rating: B-. I never know what to do with this but the main event was the only match really worth seeing. They did what they should have done here as 205 Live means nothing and it isn’t like that show was going to be on anyone’s mind this week. Open the vault for something like this because it is a much better idea than trying to do something else.

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Smackdown
Date: April 9, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and for once, there are some important things actually happening here. This time around we have the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, plus a Smackdown Tag Team Title match. Normally I would have an issue with the titles being defended on Smackdown instead of the pay per view, but considering they have not been defended since Dolph Ziggler and Bobby Roode won them in January, how important can they be? Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Daniel Bryan going after Roman Reigns and Edge.

Here is Daniel Bryan to get things going. Bryan talks about how we are so close to Wrestlemania and he can’t wait to finally see it, hear it and feel it. Yes the Thunderdome is great, but there is nothing like wrestling in front of a live audience at Wrestlemania and there is nothing like winning the Universal Title in the main event.

Now Bryan is known for his association with the word YES, but there are people who don’t think he should be involved in the main event of Wrestlemania. Just ask Batista and Randy Orton, or Edge and Roman Reigns. They will tell you no, but Bryan knows the truth and that is how he came to say yes yes yes. Bryan was told he would never wrestle again but he said yes. Then he was told he would never headline Wrestlemania again. Adam Pearce said no, but he said yes.

This Sunday is the biggest match of his career. You have Edge who thinks Bryan stole a spot from him. Then you have Roman Reigns, who knows Bryan can beat him and that means Reigns is nothing that he thinks he is. Bryan is willing to do anything he has to do to win this the title, which brings him to the last question: can he walk out of the main event of Wrestlemania as Universal Champion? Yes. YES. YES!!! This was a GREAT promo as Bryan sold every single thing he needed to about the show and more. I know he is best known for his in ring stuff but dang he can talk with the best of them.

The Street Profits are joining in on the YES chant when Bobby Roode and Dolph Ziggler attack them. The Mysterios and the Alpha Academy join in and the big fight is on.

Tag Team Titles: Alpha Academy vs. Street Profits vs. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler/Bobby Roode

Roode and Ziggler are defending and it is one fall to a finish. We are joined in progress with Dominik getting stomped in the corner and the champs have to make a save. A back elbow gives Roode two on Dominik and we hit the chinlock. Dominik fights up and the hot tag brings in Rey to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry with the Mysterios cleaning house, including back to back dives to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Roode working on Ford. Otis comes in to drop a big elbow on Ford and it’s off to Ziggler for the chinlock. A nice dropkick puts Ford down again but the Fameasser is countered into a helicopter bomb. The hot tag brings in Dawkins to clean house but Rey tags himself in and sends Dawkins outside.

The Mysterios clean house and Dominik’s frog splash gets two on Roode, with Otis splashing them for the save. Everything breaks down and Dawkins sunset flips Gable for two. Gable’s backslide gets the same but Ford tags himself in and hits the huge frog splash on Gable to knock him silly. Roode tags himself in though and steals the pin to retain at 13:05.

Rating: C+. This was as you would have expected as they went nuts with the speed and fast paced part, though there is still something lacking about the match not taking place on the pay per view. At least we had the match at all though, because the titles actually need to be defended at some point. The lack of a title change doesn’t matter, though I’m not sure who is going to take the titles from Roode and Ziggler.

Bianca Belair is nervous about the Wrestlemania title shot but she isn’t scared. This is the biggest opportunity of her career and the chance makes her dangerous. When she wins the title, it is the greatest night of her life.

Big E. is getting a haircut in his hometown of Tampa because this is where he comes to get his mind right. He takes us on a tour of Tampa, including near his high school where he would run two miles before he would go on to win a state championship in wrestling. Then we have Raymond James Stadium where he played in a high school all star football game and where he took a piece of the field with him. Now it is where Crews is defeated at Wrestlemania. Big E. was bringing the fire here and I wanted to see more of it.

Wale will perform Big E.’s theme song live.

Long video on the Fiend vs. Randy Orton. I still can’t believe it’s just a regular match.

Tamina vs. Nia Jax

Reginald, Shayna Baszler and Natalya are all here too. They shove each other around to start and Tamina backhands her into the corner to start the beating. Tamina and Shayna get in a tug of war over Reginald so Nia runs her over off the distraction. Nia misses a charge into the corner but Baszler offers a distraction, allowing Nia to crotch her on top. Tamina hits a superkick to the ribs and a Samoan drop for a delayed cover but Shayna comes in for the DQ at 2:58. This has been your annual “Tamina is AMAZING” Wrestlemania season moment.

The Riott Squad is ready for Tag Team Turmoil but Carmella and Billie Kay come up and confirm that they are in the match as well. Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose and Lana and Naomi come in and the big brawl is on. Natalya and Tamina come in to leave everyone laying.

We get an election ad style video on how you don’t know the real Cesaro. You know Seth Rollins though, because he is the kind of a person who you can believe in. Paid for by the Friends Of Seth Rollins.

Here is Edge for a chat. He sits in a chair with a spotlight on him and talks about how he needs to manifest his dreams. Yes he won the Royal Rumble and some fans would ask if that is enough. Those people do not understand what it means to come back after nine years off and how hard it is to get this far. Edge did not come back to be a shell of himself because he wants to steal the show. He wants to be Universal Champion and does not want to hear from Daniel Bryan.

Remember when Bryan had all of those ridiculous ideas about how he could be involved with the title match? Bryan needs to go be some bookstore clerk and stop sticking his nose in their business. Then there is Roman Reigns, who walks around like Edge owes him something. In reality, Reigns owes him, because think about it. Reigns came into the company in a three man group, made his entrance through the crowd and uses a spear as his finisher. Edge: “You’re the Samoan Edge.”

This match is taking place ten years to the day that he had to vacate the title but you don’t get a video package set to piano music on that. If it is Daniel Bryan doing this, that video is made in a heartbeat. Edge fought back through a torn tricep and won the Royal Rumble so why is he having to jump through hoops?

Edge isn’t phoning this in because he is doing this at a level that no one has ever done after coming back from this kind of an injury. That is a slap in the face to him and his work ethic so it is time for him to take and command the respect that he deserves. He is the Rated R Superstar and winning the title is his dream. Now he will manifest it. Another great promo here because Edge is about 9375% better as a heel.

Sonya Deville talks to Adam Pearce and thinks it should be Edge vs. Reigns in a singles match. She leaves him with that thought.

Sasha Banks isn’t worried about Bianca Belair. After Belair taps out at Wrestlemania, she will know her place in WWE, which is beneath Banks. At Wrestlemania, Banks will prove that she is the V-EST.

Video on Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre, which will open night one.

Sami Zayn came in to see Logan Paul and Jake Paul at their boxing training session and invited himself in. Then he accidentally locked himself out of the gym, where another boxer won’t let him back in.

In the arena, Sami storms the announcers’ table and wants to know how that tape was shown. Sami promises to end Kevin Owens at Wrestlemania. Speaking of Owens, here he is to attack Zayn and send him running.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Akira Tozawa, Mustafa Ali, Angel Garza, King Corbin, Cedric Alexander, Drew Gulak, Elias, Erik, Gran Metalik, Humberto Carrillo, Jaxson Ryker, Jey Uso, Kalisto, Lince Dorado, Mace, Murphy, Ricochet, Shelton Benjamin, Shinsuke Nakamura, Slapjack, T-Bar, Tucker

I’m probably missing at least a few people. It’s a big brawl to start as tends to be the case in a match like this. Cedric and Shelton get rid of Tozawa and then do the same to Tucker (with his shiny silver pants). Everyone else goes after Shelton and Cedric, who are ready to go. They’re also ready to be sent outside as it’s a double elimination to send us to a break. Back with Erik being tossed out and Gulak earning the same fate.

Mace and T-Bar get together to throw out Carrillo, who lands on Gulak. There’s a jumping knee from Elias to get rid of Slapjack, giving us Mace/T-Bar vs. Ryker/Elias. Mace and T-Bar get rid of both of them but Ali dumps Mace. Murphy saves Ali from an elimination for some reason and Ali gets rid of T-Bar. The Lucha House Party teases a reunion but Dorado won’t do the dance. That means a double team on Kalisto and he gets kicked out without much trouble. Carrillo dumps Dorado but gets backdropped out by Corbin as the ring is clearing out in a hurry.

We take a break and come back with Murphy and Garza slugging it out on the apron. Garza TAKES OFF HIS PANTS but gets kicked in the face. That’s not enough for an elimination, but Corbin shoving Murphy off the ropes certainly is. Nakamura gets rid of Garza and we’re down to Nakamura, Ali, Corbin, Uso and Ricochet (not too shabby). Ali and Ricochet fight to the apron and Ricochet headscissors Ali out.

Uso superkicks Ricochet out though and we’re down to three. Another superkick puts Corbin on the apron and Nakamura knees him out. Nakamura elbows his way out of the Samoan drop and nails the spinning kick to the head. Uso hits a superkick but Nakamura blasts him with Kinshasa. The elimination is reversed though and Uso wins at 15:44.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad and I’m good with the winner. Uso has been one of the biggest surprises in wrestling in the last six months and it is nice to see him actually win something for a change. It isn’t the biggest prize in the world, but Uso’s stunning main event run was a bigger deal anyway. This gives him something of his own though and that is a cool thing to see.

Post match here are Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman for the big final chat. Reigns doesn’t know why he is here because he is in a title match when he doesn’t even have to be pinned to lose. No he isn’t worried about winning on Sunday because when you spend every day at a 12, wrestling at a 10 isn’t hard. Maybe he can have one good week like Daniel Bryan and Edge, but he has been having great weeks since August 23 at Summerslam.

Reigns made this title relevant but the fans cut him off with the YOU TAPPED OUT chants. That makes Reigns chuckle, because if Bryan made him tap, he would be champion. Then you have Edge saying no one took the title from him. Reigns: “That’s garbage.” Reigns took it from Edge and the comeback story ends at Wrestlemania. Being in the main event with Roman Reigns is Edge’s dream and that is where it ends. It is also where Reigns’ dream begins, because what he has done in the last year is just the start.

Reigns is the head of the table and that makes him unselfish. The dreamers are the ones who are selfish because it is all about them. Who gave Jey Uso the greatest year of his career? They have the gold right over there (the Andre trophy) to prove how great it has been. Reigns is going to smash the two of them on Sunday and the referee is going to count 1-2-3. They are going to look up and see a greater man than them as the whole world acknowledges him. Another great one here, and one of the better promos Reigns has ever given.

Overall Rating: B. This show was centered around the three promos and the matches filled in the gaps. That made for a very concise show which focused entirely on Wrestlemania and a pair of big matches. I really liked this one and it flowed nearly perfectly, but there was one thing that gets annoying: if WWE wrestlers can do promos this well around Wrestlemania season, what in the world is the excuse the rest of the year??? Reigns, Bryan and Edge all had really high level promos here that played off of each other and told the story of the match. You won’t see that again all year and I will never understand why.

Results

Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode b. Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio, Alpha Academy and Street Profits – Frog splash to Gable

Tamina b. Nia Jax via DQ when Shayna Baszler interfered

Jey Uso won the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal last eliminating Shinsuke Nakamura

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
America the Beautiful: Chloe x Hallie

I’m not sure if it’s because I was in the stadium last year or something else, but this show was actually a bit more memorable than the previous few editions. Hopefully it’s just as good watching it back but you never can tell with these things. Brock Lesnar is defending the Universal Title against Roman Reigns in the main event because of course he is so let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

JR and Jerry Lawler come out for commentary with Byron Saxton for a bit of a feel good moment. It’s a brawl to start with English getting backdropped out, much to the fans’ annoyance. Anderson dumps Konnor and Ziggler starts his tradition of hanging on to avoid elimination. There goes Hawkins as we still need to clear out a lot of the ring. Former partners R-Truth and Goldust shake hands with Goldust eliminating him, cutting off JR’s Bearcat Wright’s references.

Primo is out next as there’s almost nothing between these eliminations. Kanellis gets tossed and Ziggler hangs on again. Things settle down a bit unto Apollo knees Breeze as JR mocks Ziggler for always having to save himself. Viktor is gone too and the Revival beats on Ryder but he’s right back up. The Broski Boot is loaded up on Ziggler (JR: “Ziggler in trouble. Again.”) but Rawley Pounces Ryder out in a nice touch. A Liger kick from Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows as we take a break.

Apollo getting backdropped out and Benjamin follows him…and let’s look at the announcers. We come back with Rhyno and the Revival gone and Kane eliminating Axel and Dallas. And now, we look at John Cena in the crowd as a fan, because I had forgotten about that stupid story. Back with Sin Cara eliminated by Corbin and Fandango dancing at Kane, earning himself an elimination off a single uppercut.

Corbin gets rid of Slater and Kane eliminates Gable, leaving us with the big power showdown. Everyone else jumps the monsters and it’s a superkick to Titus, setting a clothesline to get rid of him. We’re down to Corbin, Dillinger, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Hardy and Kane as Goldust loads up Shattered Dreams on Dillinger. That’s broken up by Ziggler so Goldust ties him up for Shattered Dreams as well. Dillinger takes the kick but Ziggler eliminates Goldust.

That leaves us with a TEN vs. DELETE battle with a Twist of Fate and Dillinger is gone. Kane tosses Ziggler but gets eliminated by Corbin to get us down to Corbin, Hardy and Rawley. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the villains go for the elimination….but here’s the returning Bray Wyatt for Sister Abigail into an elimination for Rawley. Corbin drops Wyatt but gets backdropped out to give Matt the win at 16:36.

Rating: D+. It was a battle royal that got a lot of time and wasn’t all that interesting. The ending was a cool moment and it’s the best way to get everyone on the card, even if most of these people mean a grand total of nothing. It’s not a good match or even anything memorable, but at least it got the crowd warmed up….with an hour to go before the show itself starts.

Post match Matt thanks Bray and we get a hug, which JR deems a Wrestlemania moment.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Tournament final to crown a new champion after Enzo Amore was finally banished. Ali debuts his SubZero look, which he still uses a year later. They’re both very happy to be there and slaps hands before getting started. Cedric scores with a shoulder block but gets headscissored down as the announcers are right there to play up the power vs. speed idea, though you don’t exactly think of power when it comes to Alexander.

Now the 054 connects for two, the first time the move has ever only gotten a near fall. Another 054 misses and it’s a pair of spinning back elbows to Ali’s face. A third turns Ali inside out and the Lumbar Check makes Cedric champion at 12:21. Cedric immediately hugs the unconscious Ali in a nice show of sportsmanship.

Rating: B. I was pulling for Ali but it felt like a title match between two guys fighting with everything they had. Cedric was the favorite in the entire tournament but Ali came off looking like a star the whole way through. This was rather good stuff and should have been the Kickoff Show main event, though I’ll take a good match when I can.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Battle Royal

Dana Brooke, Becky Lynch, Sarah Logan, Lana, Bianca Belair, Naomi, Sonya Deville, Mandy Rose, Carmella, Peyton Royce, Natalya, Dakota Kai, Mickie James, Taynara Conti, Ruby Riott, Kairi Sane, Sasha Banks, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Bayley

This was going to be the Fabulous Moolah Memorial Battle Royal but history intervened and it’s just a regular battle royal this time around. Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary and the former has some advice: don’t get thrown over the top rope. Becky comes out first, everyone else comes out, followed by Sasha and Bayley to fill out the field. Miss Money in the Bank Carmella (erg) poses with the briefcase to start and everyone gangs up on her for the easy elimination.

Deville, who got the elimination, poses in the big circle of women but Dana gets thrown in the middle instead. That means trash talk from Brooke and the big beatdown is on with Mandy tossing Dana. The NXT women team up to send the main roster women outside (through the ropes rather than over, which I can’t stand in battle royals) so we can get the WE ARE NXT pose.

Becky yells at Devi about orange being HER COLOR as some of the main roster women get back in. Kai eliminates Mandy as Paige declares Deville her favorite member of Absolution. We stop for the NXT women to triple team Deville, setting up Belair’s 450, because THAT MAKES SENSE IN A BATTLE ROYAL! Deville is out and we take a break, coming back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow thanks to more ganging up on Riott during the break.

Lana and Devi are tossed and Conti gets kicked out by the Squad. Becky and Belair have a less than thrilling slugout and the hair whip is incredibly loud. Belair misses a charge though and gets kicked out, followed by Kai kicking Naomi in the face. Banks gets rid of Kai without much effort and there goes Becky to a chorus of boos (I think Becky will be fine). Ruby knocks Mickie out and it’s Royce’s turn to kick people in the face.

Logan powerbombs her out as well though and we’re down to Morgan, Logan, Riott, Bayley, Banks, Natalya and Naomi, who is out on the floor (oh dear). For some reason Natalya decides to pose with her back turned to the Squad but manages to suplex Ruby and Sarah at the same time.

Bayley saves Sasha from a suplex and helps get rid of Natalya. Morgan is out as well and there goes Ruby. Banks sends Logan to the apron and Bayley knocks her out, leaving us with Banks and Bayley. The fans actually get on their feet to cheer for this one and the handshake…lets Bayley throw Banks out to a big reaction but Naomi gets back in for the Rear View. That’s enough for the win at 9:39.

Rating: F+. I had forgotten how annoying that ending was but it makes you realize just how stupid this whole thing was. Bayley and Banks would go on to have their weird semi-feud and then partnership over the year while Naomi has done NOTHING important since this match. You have something here with Bayley and the bright idea is to do the HAHA WE TRICKED YOU ending? That’s been done to death in battle royals and it’s not like this was anything more than a surprise ending, which was really stupid given how Bayley had been searching for anything important for the last year. This actually ticked me off again so well done.

Jojo introduces Chloe and Hallie to sing America the Beautiful, describing them as the “future of music”. Well if Jojo says it then it must be true.

The opening video shows shots of parties in New Orleans and, just like in 2014, features a tagline of Let The Good Times Roll. They couldn’t come up with anything else in four years? And the theme song is still Celebrate by Kid Rock. Ok it’s a catchy song, but is there nothing else (or no one else) that they could use?

Yay pyro! And cool set with the Mardi Gras mask, which looked awesome all night long.

I was in the stadium for this show, sitting in the lower bowl and looking not quite directly at the far post on the right side opposite the hard camera.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and we get the new idea this year: 3D graphics for some of the entrances, including Miz who gets the Miz logo and various words to describe him, including MOVIE STAR. Miz sends the Miztourage to the back because he wants to do this himself for his newborn daughter. The weird part is you couldn’t see those in the stadium (obviously) but you could see them on the screens around the building, which made your head snap around a few times.

Balor isn’t the Demon here, but instead comes out with a bunch of LGBT people in rainbow Balor Club shirts labeled FOR EVERYONE. If nothing else, it’s awesome to see the stadium doing the Balor pose at once. This was set up with both guys beating Miz in one night, because Balor beating Miz after Miz had a long match with Rollins is totally the same thing.

They all go for the way too early rollups to start with Miz being sent outside. That means Rollins can miss a Stomp on Balor but a superkick to the ribs works just fine. Balor sends Rollins outside though and it’s the big running flip dive onto both of them for the first major pop of the night. Back in and basement dropkick gives Balor two on Miz but Rollins is back in with a high crossbody.

Miz finally gets to do something other than get beaten up as we look at Cena in the crowd again. Rollins grabs a double Blockbuster for two on Miz but he’s right back up with a knee to the ribs (not face Cole). The chinlock goes on, which shouldn’t be the case less than four minutes into a triple threat. Back up and a neckbreaker gets two on Miz as they’re just trading moves until we get to the big stuff. Another chinlock seems to annoy Balor so he gets up again and hits the double stomp to Miz’s ribs.

Rollins is back in for a Sling Blade to Balor, setting up a suicide dive to Balor and Miz. A superkick drops Balor again but Miz comes in with a DDT for two. Miz goes with the strategy by bending Balor’s knee around the ropes and slapping on the Figure Four. The frog splash from Rollins (from out of nowhere for an awesome visual) breaks it up and all three of them head outside.

Balor escapes the barricade powerbomb and dropkicks them both into the barricade instead. Back in again and 1916 gets two on Rollins but Miz breaks up the Coup de Grace. Instead of the Tower of Doom though it’s the buckle bomb to Miz and a superplex into the Falcon Arrow to Balor. The Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz two on Rollins and they’re all down again.

Balor does his hop over the ropes in the corner but gets crotched for trying the Coup de Grace again. It’s just not working this time dude. Miz goes up top with Balor and catches a springboarding Rollins with something close to a super Skull Crushing Finale. Balor breaks it up with a Coup de Grace and hits a second on Miz but the Stomp breaks that up too. Another Stomp hits Miz to give Rollins the pin and the title at 15:37.

Rating: B-. This might have been a few minutes too long but Rollins winning was a fine call as he’s more than over enough and kind of fits the Workrate Champion idea to perfection. Miz can come back and break the all time days record later and Balor is over no matter what. Not a great match, but a very hot opener and the fans were into everything here.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which is billed as the BIGGEST WOMEN’S MATCH IN WRESTLEMANIA HISTORY. My how times change. Anyway Charlotte is the queen of everything and Asuka won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot. It’s absolutely a dream match with Charlotte being Charlotte and Asuka still being undefeated.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and gets the full Ric Flair theme song, complete with a HHH from Wrestlemania XXX inspired entrance, meaning soldiers to help her off a throne and take her robe. Asuka on the other hand gets the CGI masks with rainbow colored lines surrounding them, which look cool on screen but live….not so much. They lock up to start and take turns flipping out of wristlocks for an early standoff.

Charlotte loads up a monkey flip but instead trips the leg for a failed Figure Eight attempt. You can feel the intensity here and it’s working well so far. Some chops to the chest (and one to the face) have Asuka in trouble but she’s right back with a hip attack to knock Charlotte outside. Back in and it’s time to start in on the arm but Charlotte gets in a backbreaker into an STO. Charlotte uses a Backpack Stunner to get out of a sleeper and a knee to the back of the head keeps Asuka in trouble.

It’s enough trouble for Charlotte to go up top for the moonsault….which is countered into a triangle for a sweet escape. Charlotte reverses into a Boston crab until Asuka makes the rope. A sliding kick to the face knocks Charlotte backwards and it’s back to the arm as Asuka continues to follow her game plan. They head to the apron with Asuka suplexing her out to the floor in a good looking crash. Sometimes you need to just go with a big spot like that and it worked very well.

Back in and they stare each other down until Asuka just erupts with strikes to the face. A missile dropkick gets two and Asuka stomps on the back. Charlotte is fine enough for the chops to catch Asuka on top and it’s a super Spanish Fly for two with the fans getting much more into things in a hurry. Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold from Asuka’s back for a cool change of pace.

Charlotte tries to flip out and into the Figure Eight but Asuka kicks her in the head for a block. Well that’s certainly to the point. The Asuka Lock is blocked and Charlotte hits a very good spear for two more as the fans are WAY into this. With nothing else working, Charlotte goes to the Figure Eight and bridges up with one arm….and Asuka taps at 13:05 in a shocker.

Rating: A-. I don’t get shocked by results very often but I was actually stunned to see how this went. I would have bet money on Asuka walking out as champion here but Charlotte winning was far from a ridiculous result. Now the problem is what this did to Asuka, as she only started to recover from the loss nearly a year later. Charlotte would lose the title to Carmella two days later, bringing some dark days to the belt. This however was anything but dark, with an outstanding match between two stars.

Post match Asuka gets the mic and says Charlotte was ready for her in the ultimate sign of respect.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something that makes him get out of his seat and run up the ramp. You really couldn’t wait until the women were gone so they could have the full moment?

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Orton is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Aiden English (now bald, meaning he shaved his head since the end of the battle royal when he had hair) handles Rusev’s entrance and we get my favorite shot every year: a closeup of someone with the camera swinging around to show the stadium crowd in front of them. There’s something so cool about seeing just how big of a stage they’re really on. Anyway, Rusev is crazy over and easily the crowd favorite. Does anyone else see an issue with Orton’s music saying “I hear voices in my head” while his Titantron says IN MY VEINS?

While you think about that, Orton and Mahal are sent outside, leaving Rusev to dropkick (yes dropkick) Roode to the floor. A RUSEV DAY Cannonball off the apron takes Orton and Mahal down again but Roode is back in with a Blockbuster for two on Rusev. The other two get back in and it’s Mahal getting beaten up by Orton and Roode before being tossed right back to the floor. Orton hits the top rope superplex on Roode with Rusev and Mahal diving back in for the save.

That’s enough for Mahal to ask Rusev for a partnership but Rusev doesn’t even bother waiting before hitting Mahal with a spinning belly to back suplex for two. Roode makes it worse by busting Mahal’s spine and hitting the GLORIOUS pose, only to have Orton make a save this time.

That leaves Orton alone in the ring and it’s the hanging DDT on Rusev. The RKO hits English, Rusev and Mahal so it’s Roode making a save of his own. Roode blocks the RKO and plants Orton with the Glorious DDT as Mahal saves. The Machka Kick drops Mahal but Sunil Singh offers a distraction, letting Mahal hit the Khallas for the pin on Rusev at 8:14. You could literally feel the energy go out of the crowd.

Rating: D+. There was some hard work in there but this was the definition of Vince saying screw the audience because it’s all about what I want. Rusev was one of the most popular guys in the company and had been for months but instead we get Mahal, who was an all time bomb as WWE Champion getting to pin Rusev.

It’s not like there was even a long term plan as Mahal would lose the title a mere eight days later. Rusev would indeed get the title nearly nine months later, after his popularity had fallen way down, meaning it was acceptable to give the fans what they want. This really hurt the show and it’s going to be hard to recover.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon and yeah I think this might help the recovery process. After being at Wrestlemania XXXI and attacking Stephanie, Rousey made her official WWE debut at the Royal Rumble earlier in the year. She wanted to go to Wrestlemania and since she was (at the time) the most dominant female UFC fighter of all time, Stephanie wanted to mold her into a WWE star.

Angle, who had been screwed over by Stephanie and HHH before, warned Ronda that they would mess with her too. That didn’t sit well with Rousey, who beat both of them up on the way to this mixed tag match. Naturally we got a lot of Stephanie workout videos because she’s STEPHANIE and that makes her some wrestling legend. It’s sickening, and I was waiting on her to survive the armbar in the match. It was clear that this was going to be full of smoke and mirrors, but the question is how well Rousey is going to do in her debut. This is one of the main events of the show and something a lot of people really wanted to see.

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles (flanked by four women on their own motorcycles), with Stephanie’s biker look (including the leather pants) making me a lot less annoyed at her. Cole: “Even though Stephanie is a former Women’s Champion, this is her Wrestlemania in-ring debut!” WWE pretending that Stephanie was a wrestler is one of their more interesting character tweaks. Rousey gets a huge reaction and of course smiles at the crowd, as is her custom. Cole talks about two people starting in UFC and coming to WWE: Ken Shamrock and now Rousey. So they’re not Dan Severn fans either?

The fans are WAY behind Rousey as they stare each other down in the middle. Stephanie shoves Rousey in the face because Stephanie just never learns. A hair pull doesn’t prove to be the brightest idea either so Stephanie bails to the apron so the guys can start us off. Angle (very badly) punches at HHH and the beating is on in the corner. A hammerlock keeps HHH does as we’re just waiting for this to explode as it should be doing.

Stephanie manages to lure Rousey in though and Angle gets low bridged to the floor. Cole calls this “that McMahon instinct” as the worship is already a lot to take. Angle gets sent into the steps and Rousey is about to lose it because she can’t intervene. Some more cheap shots from Stephanie keep Rousey angry and a spinebuster gives HHH two. A front facelock keeps Angle down but he gets a boot up in the corner.

Stephanie chokes Angle and HHH nearly hits her by mistake but it’s still too early for the hot tag. A suplex drops HHH again but Stephanie runs around and pulls Rousey off the apron. HHH gets whipped over the corner for the real crash and you can see the panic in Stephanie. The hot tag brings in Rousey (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!!!”) who SPRINTS over to Stephanie and throws her down with a suplex. After the required tug of the shorts, Rousey unloads with rights and lefts in the corner as the fans are already losing it. The release throw sends Stephanie back into the corner and Graves is terrified.

The fans want and receive the armbar….but Stephanie blocks it. Yes the hold that UFC fighters were powerless again is a simple block for Stephanie as the crowd’s soul is slapped down again. Stephanie blocks it a second time and rakes the eyes (Cole: “Complete manipulation of the rules!” Ignore the complete manipulation of reality and focus on those rules man.”), setting up a double arm crank as the fans try to process that they’re really doing this.

Stephanie even mocks Rousey, who grabs her by the throat and hits the swinging Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee. Rousey: “I’m going to continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls her out as well, apparently not a fan of such chatty opponents. Angle is back up and sends HHH over the announcers’ table but gets thrown onto the Spanish table. After a slow crawl, HHH is back in and sees Rousey, who is ready to fight. HHH puts the referee in the corner and sizes Rousey up and the beating is on in the corner.

A legsweep looks to set up the swinging Samoan drop but Stephanie makes a save. I know I’m not a big HHH fan a lot of the time but he just made Rousey look like the biggest star in the history of the division. Rousey chases Stephanie outside though and has to adjust the gear again, allowing Stephanie to post her. Angle is back in for some belly to belly suplexes and the rolling Germans but the ankle lock is countered. The Pedigree is countered as well and HHH gets catapulted into the corner, setting up the Angle Slam for two with no one making a save.

Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock and yells at Angle, who catches the boot to the ribs. HHH has to save his wife and Pedigrees Angle for two with Rousey making her own save this time. With Angle down, HHH loads Rousey up for a powerbomb but gets hurricanranaed (!) into the armbar on HHH (I completely bought that as the finish live) until Stephanie grabs a choke.

That’s reversed into an armbar and Stephanie has the gall to block it AGAIN. Angle ankle locks HHH, who rolls Angle into Rousey for the real save. Rousey and Angle get posted and it’s time for stereo Pedigrees, both of which are broken up. The armbar is slapped on again and this time Rousey uses the leverage to pull back and Stephanie finally taps at 20:37.

Rating: A. That’s not even on a sliding scale because Rousey knocked that out harder than she knocked out Alexis Davis. She looked like she’s been doing this for ten years and had one of the best debut matches I’ve ever seen. Everyone else was nailing it too and I got completely sucked into it both live and watching it back because all of the stuff was that good. Don’t have Stephanie block the armbar so often and this is an A+ easy.

That was the only downgrade, even though you knew full well it was coming. To be fair though, Stephanie did tap out clean in the end so it wasn’t the most ridiculous thing ever. Well the first part was but not the finish. After this, how can you now see Rousey as the star that she already was?

Stephanie has to be helped out, as she should. She would get armbarred again the next night for a bonus.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Kofi wastes no time in hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jey but Harper pulls him outside before the count. Jimmy gets sent into the steps and Harper crashes against Big E. against the barricade. With no one else to beat up, Woods gets powerbombed against the post, leaving Rowan to splash Kofi and Jey back inside. The mostly done Jey is thrown outside and Big E. gets knocked off the apron. Jimmy comes back in for a pair of superkicks and Jey is back up for stereo kicks to Harper’s head in the corner.

A jumping enziguri hits Harper and a superkick knocks Rowan to the floor, setting up a double suplex on the outside. Harper catches Kofi with a swinging release Boss Man Slam but gets caught with a double superkick on top. Rowan breaks up the Tower of Doom so Kofi charges at Harper, only to get powerbombed by Rowan. An assisted super sitout powerbomb finishes Kofi to give Harper and Rowan the titles at 5:55.

Rating: C-. The time cuts aside, this wasn’t the worst match in the world with the Usos and the New Day giving it all they had against the monsters but not being able to stop them. The Bludgeon Brothers were the first time a team other than the Usos or New Day had held the belts in over a year so this was long, long overdue and the right call.

Here’s what’s coming to the Network, most of which actually happened for a change.

Here’s a fired up John Cena for his match with Undertaker. This comes after weeks of Cena calling out Undertaker for Wrestlemania because Undertaker seemingly retired after last year’s show. Cena came off as the biggest jerk in this feud and acting like Undertaker owed him something. There was no confirmation that Undertaker was going to be here, hence him sitting in the crowd earlier.

That’s the other stupid part of the whole thing: Cena kept talking about how he had no path to Wrestlemania, because JOHN CENA couldn’t get a match. He gave some lame excuse about how this was the only match that mattered and it didn’t do a thing to make up for the consistently annoying lines from commentary about Cena possibly being left out of Wrestlemania. I get what they were going for, but come on already.

Anyway Cena is ready to go but here’s a referee to say not so fast. Cena is disappointed and the lights go out. It’s only Elias though and Cena heads back to his seat as Elias sings about it being his night. That’s enough for Cena who runs in and beats Elias up before looking disappointed again. Cole: “I guess that would be a Wrestlemania moment right?” He goes up the ramp but stops….and the lights go out again. A spotlight hits the ring with Undertaker’s hat, coat and boots, which are hit by lighting (looks awful on the Network, looked great when you didn’t see it coming in the stadium. They’re gone, and the gong strikes.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

I know he’s been old for ten years, but that entrance live, especially in the stadium, is chilling. Cole of course can’t SHUT UP, saying everything he can think of, including calling them the two greatest performers of all time. Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner to start and hits the jumping clothesline. Old School connects and Undertaker hits some running clotheslines in the corner. Snake Eyes into the big boot into the big leg have Cena rocked but the chokeslam is escaped.

Cena’s belly to back connects but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, making Cena fall down in fear. The chokeslam into the Tombstone finishes Cena at 2:48. The more I think of this one, the more I like it. Cena ran his mouth for so long and Undertaker annihilated him here, just as he should have. While a lot of people will be annoyed at not getting a full form match between these two, I’d rather they do this than have Undertaker look back in a fifteen minute match.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony.

Here’s the Hall of Fame Class, which really doesn’t need to air on the show. They already get a whole evening to themselves. Do we really need ten minutes on Wrestlemania too?

Jeff Jarrett (eh sure, though it’s still weird to see him here)

Mark Henry (still not sure on him, though his documentary was great)

Hillbilly Jim (I’m a Kentucky boy but come on)

Ivory (she looks better now than she did during her career)

Jarius JJ Robertson (Warrior Award)

Dudley Boyz (yep)

Goldberg (yep, though I’d call the Dudleys more appropriate headliners)

Oh and Kid Rock, this year’s celebrity inductee, wasn’t there because he had a concert.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens. Bryan somehow overcame his injuries and returned to the ring in something I still can barely believe. Owens and Zayn had tormented Smackdown boss Shane for months and then attacked Bryan for firing them the night he was announced as being cleared. Therefore it’s a tag match with Owens and Zayn fighting for their jobs. Yeah that’s all well and good. The point here is Bryan actually getting back in the ring, which is almost impossible to imagine.

Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens vs. Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon

Owens and Zayn beat McMahon up on Smackdown to cover for Shane’s legitimate medical issues. Chris Jericho was apparently on red phone alert for this show with a plan to have him fly in from a Fozzy show on the corporate jet in case Shane couldn’t make the show. Bryan gets a special entrance with a weird military/Terminator themed video showing a target on the Superdome before looking at the YES Movement spreading throughout the world in a cool moment. You can feel the emotions in Bryan as he comes down the aisle and it’s an amazing sight to behold.

Owens and Zayn jump the good guys from behind and Shane gets thrown over the barricade. Bryan takes a Helluva kick and the apron powerbomb to leave him laying. Medics come out to check on Bryan as yes, they actually are trying to stretch this out even further. Shane is willing to fight on his own and unloads with the really bad punches to Owens in the corner.

There’s the jumping back elbow but Shane grabs his stomach due to the diverticulitis (the same thing that ruined Lesnar’s UFC career). A DDT drops Sami but Owens gets in a shot to the stomach to cut Shane off. We settle down into a regular match with Sami elbowing the ribs and going for one cover after another. Owens steps on the ribs and applauds Bryan for such a great return. A t-bone suplex gives Sami two and a superkick into the Blue Thunder Bomb is good for the same. The fans don’t care about this whatsoever and there’s no reason for them to.

With Bryan STILL being tended to at ringside, it’s just a big waiting game until Bryan gets back up and makes the hot tag. The Helluva Kick misses in the corner and Sami gets tied in the Tree of Woe. Coast to Coast hits but Shane can’t follow up because of the stomach. Owens drops the frog splash on Shane but Bryan dives in for the save to bring the fans back to life. The hot tag is cut off though and we hit the chinlock to make the fans wait a little longer. A belly to back suplex gets Shane out of trouble though and there’s the tag, with Bryan taking his time before getting in for an awesome moment.

House is cleaned and it’s the moonsault over Sami into the running clothesline. Owens comes back in and Bryan gets them in opposite corners for alternating running dropkicks. Sami is back with a Helluva Kick for two on Bryan and Owens superkicks Shane to the floor. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets two more and Owens is shocked at the kickout. Shane dives onto Owens, leaving Sami to yell at Bryan for coming back and punch him in the face. That’s enough for Bryan and the fight is on, including the YES Kicks. The running knee sets up the YES Lock to make Sami tap at 15:24.

Rating: C+. This was two matches in one with the rather boring beatdown of Shane for the first half before Bryan came in and gave the fans exactly what they wanted for the second half. It was all about Bryan and that’s all it was supposed to be. The idea that he actually made it back to the ring is amazing and one of the most surprising stories you’ll ever see in wrestling. He deserved a big moment like this and that’s what we got here, albeit after Shane got in his own time of course.

Attendance announcement, with pyro because it’s Wrestlemania.

We recap Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss. They were friends, but Jax found out that Bliss was making fun of her behind her back. Jax went into monster mode and chased after Bliss and her friend Mickie James, setting up this match. Now there’s no reason this shouldn’t be about thirty seconds long, but it’s Wrestlemania and what matters is getting on the card and having a long match instead of doing what makes sense.

Raw Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax

Bliss, with James in her corner, is defending and is lowered down to the stage on a platform for a nice touch. We get the Big Match Intros and Bliss immediately backs up as she should. Jax gets smart and runs Mickie over before the bell rings to send her outside for a heck of a beatdown. Bliss tries to intervene and gets glared back to the ring, leaving James to take a Samoan drop on the floor.

We get back inside for the opening bell and Bliss slaps her in the face. That earns a scream from Nia so Bliss screams back in true scream queen fashion. A gorilla press slam has Bliss bailing to the floor and it’s time to leave, only to have Nia run her over again. Back in and Bliss pokes her in the eye before going after the knee in a smart move.

What’s not a smart move is this match already going nearly three minutes with Bliss getting in any significant offense. A basement dropkick keeps Jax in trouble but a guillotine choke is easily countered via an overhead belly to belly suplex. Jax goes shoulder first into the post as the fans are quiet all over again. Twisted Bliss to a standing Nia on the floor gives Bliss another knockdown, setting up the short DDT for two back inside.

Bliss yells at her so Nia tells her to shut up already and the destruction begins. Another poke to the eye is no sold and Bliss gets whipped hard into the buckles. Bliss goes to the eye again to get out of the Samoan drop but Jax drives her into the corner and then drops her. That’s not enough as it’s a super Samoan drop to give Jax the pin and the title at 9:02.

Rating: D-. What were they thinking here? The whole story was that Bliss was all talk and survived because of Nia but then she hangs with Nia for the better part of ten minutes? This should have been thirty seconds long with Bliss getting the title back later on (as she did in June) after coming back from getting squashed. Just a bad idea all around here, save for Jax FINALLY winning the title.

We recap AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against Shinsuke Nakamura. They had a classic match in Japan and a lot of fans wanted to see it again in WWE. Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and the match was on, with both guys trying to get in the other’s head on the way to New Orleans. So yeah, they’re just going with “it’s a dream match” for the build, which works just fine.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by Nita Strauss (awesome guitar player and rather gorgeous at the same time). The army of violinists and drummers help too. Since WWE can’t go more than five minutes without making some kind of a mistake, AJ is billed as Universal Champion. They lock up to start with Nakamura getting the better of it with some knees to the ribs.

Good Vibrations is blocked and AJ gets in his own knee before starting in on the back. Styles grabs a chinlock for a bit before dropkicking him to the floor. That’s not the best idea though as it’s a kick to the head to stagger Styles and the champ is in trouble for the first time. Nakamura’s middle rope kick to the face gets two and that’s a COME ON to set up the strikes to the face.

The running knee to the ribs in the corner gets two but AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant. A sliding forearm into the pumphandle gutbuster gets two on Nakamura as they’re trading big spots. AJ’s springboard is countered into the Landslide (Samoan driver) for two but Nakamura needs a minute before following up. With nothing else working, Nakamura goes with the kicks, which are countered into the Calf Crusher.

Since it’s Nakamura, that’s reversed into a triangle choke, which AJ powers into something like a fisherman’s buster for another double knockdown. It’s Nakamura up first and trying a running knee in the corner but the bad knee hit the buckle instead. AJ is right back with a Phenomenal Forearm for two in the required kickout of the first finisher.

The springboard 450 hits knees and Nakamura grabs a small package for two of his own. They slug it out until AJ nails the Pele but can’t follow up, allowing Nakamura to knee him in the back of the head for a much nearer fall. The reverse exploder looks to set up the Kinshasa but AJ rolls through into the Styles Clash for the pin to retain at 20:21.

Rating: B+. This was close to being a classic but it’s really just a very good match instead. Part of the problem here is how late the match came in the show. The fans were starting to get worn down and there was only so much energy left in the people. Also it never quite got to the epic level that they were shooting for with Nakamura never really getting the close near falls that he needed to take it to another level. Still that, very good and worthy of a Wrestlemania title match.

We recap the Kickoff Show. This is another few minutes that could be cut off.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

The Bar is defending after Strowman won a battle royal to become #1 contenders despite not having a partner. Therefore the big question for over a month is who would the partner be. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float, complete with people in large headed costumes for a cool visual. There’s no partner for Strowman, who breaks up the float before coming to the ring.

Strowman and the kid get in the ring where the kid is introduced as Nicholas (the son of referee John Cone). Cole: “This is really happening.” He’s never been more right. Oh and the search for a partner and introduction took about four and a half minutes, again because this show can just keep going. Strowman takes Sheamus into the corner with no problem to start before beating up Cesaro as well.

Nicholas is terrified (as he should be) as Cesaro dropkicks Strowman in the knee. A double suplex lets Sheamus drop a top rope knee, setting up an assisted swanton from Sheamus’ shoulders. Strowman comes back with a double crossbody and backdrops Sheamus over the top, bouncing him off the post in the process. To cap it off, Strowman tags Nicholas in. The kid is terrified and tags Strowman back in for the powerslam to Cesaro for the pin and the titles at 3:58.

Rating: F. I….what do you want from me here? This was an idea that completely failed because WWE had no idea what to do here and this is all they could do. Put Heath Slater or someone in there, or have Strowman do a rendition of Me And My Shadow and have him win it by himself. It was a joke that was literally forgotten the next night and stretched the show out even more because they couldn’t just cut this and put Strowman ANYWHERE else. I’m sure Matt Hardy had to win the battle royal right?

Wrestlemania 35 is in New York/Jersey. You don’t hear New Jersey mentioned here, but I guess it’s just implied.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the Universal Title. It’s the latest attempt to make Reigns feel like the mega star because the first few times didn’t take. Therefore he won the Elimination Chamber (beating Strowman after Strowman eliminated everyone else), THIS TIME FOR SURE! Lesnar has been champion for a year and barely ever defends the title, because that was so successful the first few times. Their fights over the last few weeks get the music video treatment.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and WOW the fans are not happy to see him. To make it a little better, Brock drives him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs, followed by the German suplexes. Reigns pops up with a Superman Punch to send Brock to the floor as they’re starting fast again. Back in and a clothesline knocks Lesnar over the top and out to the floor as the fans chant things to amuse themselves.

Lesnar catches him with a belly to belly on the floor and another one drops Reigns on his head. There’s the required CM PUNK chant and a third belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the announcers’ table because Brock didn’t realize how much room he had. Back in and Lesnar throws another German suplex, declaring it SUPLEX CITY B****. More suplexes ensue because that’s what Lesnar does in a big time match. Brock gets tired of that and loads up the announcers’ table but Reigns posts him for a much needed breather.

A spear puts Lesnar onto (not through) another table as the fans boo the heck out of this. Or maybe they’re mad about losing a beach ball. The Superman Punch into a pair of spears gets two and now the fans are definitely happy with a beach ball. Brock blocks a spear with a knee to the face that brings Graves out of his chair.

The first F5 gets two and virtually no reaction from the crowd. Another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. To switch it up, another F5 gets another two and Lesnar seems to be getting angrier. The fans declare it boring so Lesnar takes him outside for the fourth F5 through the announcers’ table. Lesnar takes it back inside and stands there as the fans do something else in the crowd that goes from cheering to booing during the same closeup.

The fifth F5 gets two so Lesnar takes the gloves off at Heyman’s orders. The fans call it awful as Lesnar hammers away to bust Reigns open. It’s quite the gusher but Reigns slips out of the F5 and hits a pair of spears for two. Another spear is countered into the sixth F5 to retain the title at 15:51.

Rating: D+. Well of course he does. The problem here is that there is good action in the match but it’s too much of the same stuff and the fans having none of it that took away its value. Couple that with knowing that we’re just waiting on even more Reigns title shots and promos about needing to be champion and there was no way this was going to work. The fans (including myself) were done with this WAY before the match started and that’s all there was to it.

Reigns gets cleaned up and we get the long video package. Back in the stadium, Reigns leaves and the show ends. I stood around for a long time while this was going on because the video doesn’t play in the stadium and it wasn’t clear if the show was over or not.

Overall Rating: C-. I know I (and a lot of other people) say it over and over but it’s just too long. There is a limit to how long you can sit watching wrestling in person or at home and Wrestlemania has blown past that for years now. At some point you just stop caring and there’s very little that can be done to fix such a problem. They need to do something because this isn’t going to work no matter what they do. Cut out a lot of stuff and it’s a great show, but the whole package didn’t work.

There’s a lot of good stuff in here, such as the opener, AJ vs. Nakamura, Charlotte vs. Asuka, the mixed tag and a few other moments here and there. The problem is there’s so much other stuff that either doesn’t work (the main event, the Raw Women’s Title match and the Raw Tag Team Titles are great places to start) that it really doesn’t work. Get rid of some of that and the show is that much better.

Overall, it comes down to the problem of WWE not listening to the fans. They can throw out as much good content as they want, but if you do it to annoy the fans (the US Title match) or to stretch things out even further past its expiration point (the Universal Title), it’s going to come back to mess things up. There is so much on here that fans don’t want to see and WWE just won’t fix it.

That doesn’t help the length either. If you have a show where the final match is something the fans do not want to see, you’re going to have them sitting there, already annoyed at other things in the show, for hours waiting to see something that only WWE seems interested in. How is that supposed to be appealing for over seven hours? Cut it down, give us something else to cheer for, and remember that Wrestlemania is supposed to be about the best of the best, not everyone on the roster.

Ratings Comparison

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Original: D-

Redo: D+

Mustafa Ali vs. Cedric Alexander

Original: B-

Redo: B

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Original: D+

Redo: F+

Seth Rollins vs. The Miz vs. Finn Balor

Original: B

Redo: B-

Charlotte vs. Asuka

Original: A-

Redo: A

Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev vs. Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode

Original: D

Redo: D+

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey

Original: A-

Redo: A

New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B+

Braun Strowman/Nicholas vs. The Bar

Original: F

Redo: F

Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: C-

This is an interesting one as most of the matches are within the same ballpark but I liked the show a lot better the first time around. Maybe the good was more fun just after the show, but this really didn’t do it for me nearly as well on another viewing. It’s watchable, but definitely not a very good show.

Here’s the original if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/14/wrestlemania-xxxiv-the-same-old-story/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXXIV
Date: April 8, 2018
Location: Mercedes-Benz Superdome, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 78,133
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

So here we are. After all these months, we’ve finally arrived at Wrestlemania and as JR has put it, it don’t get no bigger than this. The main event is Roman Reigns vs. Brock Lesnar (THIS TIME FOR SURE!), along with Ronda Rousey making her long awaited in-ring debut. It’s hard to say what to expect, other than a very long show with a lot of stuff crammed in. Let’s get to it.

I was in the stadium for this show. My seat was in the lower arena in the corner, opposite the hard camera. I was looking almost directly at the upper right hand ring post.

Kickoff Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler are in on commentary for this, along with Saxton. I was coming into the stadium as the wrestlers came down the ramp so my timing couldn’t have been much better. As usual, it’s almost impossible to tell what’s going on to start until Aiden English is eliminated. Anderson gets rid of Viktor and it’s already time for Ziggler to do his last second saves.

There goes Hawkins (who I still can’t wait to see actually win something) R-Truth and Goldust reunite for all of eight seconds before Goldust tosses him. With an incorrect countdown to Wrestlemania clock on the screen, Primo is eliminated as well. Mike Kanellis is out (I forgot he worked here too) as Byron tries to explain the Woken Universe to JR. With Jim not exactly sounding interested, Apollo knees Breeze out.

Viktor is out next and the ring is starting to clear a bit, at least to the point where you can at least see the mat. Matt does his rapid fire rams into the buckles to rock Goldust, drawing another DELETE chant. Ryder loads up the Broski Boot on Ziggler but Mojo Rawley runs him over for another elimination to make the fans hate him even more. Gable eliminates Anderson and Titus gets rid of Gallows and we take a break.

Back (After they showed the commercial in the stadium. You know, the place WHERE WE’RE WATCHING WHAT THEY’RE ADVERTISING!) with Revival getting rid of Apollo. Wilder is sent to the apron but a Dawson save allows them to eliminate Benjamin instead. The Revival is sent out at the same time, followed by Kane getting rid of the Miztourage. We cut to the crowd where John Cena is watching as a fan (because of course he is) and come back to see Cara being tossed as well.

Kane uppercuts Fandango out and Slater makes the mistake of going to the apron, allowing Corbin to get rid of him as well. Gable joins him on the floor, leaving us with Corbin, Goldust, Rawley, Ziggler, Fandango, Kane, O’Neil and Dillinger. That means a Kane vs. Corbin showdown but everyone else interferes before anything happens. Titus starts cleaning house and throws Ziggler over his shoulders, only to get superkicked and clotheslined out. Goldust snaps off the powerslam to Ziggler and it’s Shattered Dreams to Tye.

Ziggler is ready for him though and dumps Goldust but gets punched down by Hardy. That gives us the TEN vs. DELETE showdown, which I didn’t know I needed to see. A Twist of Fate is enough to get rid of Dillinger, followed by Ziggler superkicking Kane’s hands. Kane dumps him without much effort but Corbin dumps his fellow giant to get us down to Mojo, Corbin and Hardy. A fireman’s carry faceplant drops Hardy and the double teaming begins. Not that it matters as we’ve got Bray Wyatt to save Hardy, allowing him to eliminate Rawley. Wyatt takes End of Days but Matt gets rid of Corbin to win at 16:34 as Wyatt wasn’t entered.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was terrible, running WAY too long and making me wonder when it was going to be over. So many of these people just don’t need to be on Wrestlemania (Hawkins, Ascension, R-Truth, Primo, Kanellis, Rawley to name a few) and they’re just extending the show by being in this. Matt winning makes the most sense as it’s not like many other people in the match are doing anything at the moment.

Matt and Bray pose post match as Bray is officially good. Now just don’t get injured and lose your spot again.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

The title is vacant coming in, Drake Maverick is at ringside and Ali is SubZero for some reason. Cedric shouts a lot and they shake hands for the sake of good sportsmanship. An exchange of shoulders goes to Cedric so Ali snaps off a hurricanrana for our first standoff. Back up and Cedric flips away to grab a headscissors, followed by a dropkick for two. Ali gets sent to the floor and taken down by a big flip dive but there’s no commercial, despite the announcers sounding like they were sending us to one. Nice change of pace for once.

Back in and we hit a waistlock to keep Ali down and a high backdrop gives Cedric two. Another waistlock and a knee to the ribs keep Cedric on target as he certainly has a game plan. Cedric plants him with a Spanish Fly and counters a tornado DDT by crotching Ali on top. With Ali stunned, Cedric goes up as well but gets caught in a super Spanish Fly, which even impresses Cena. The 054 is broken up with a shove to the floor and now we go to the inset ad for Rousey’s debut. At least they didn’t show this in the stadium, which would have almost been just as annoying as showing the whole thing.

Back with Cedric getting caught in a reverse hurricanrana and now the tornado DDT connects. The 054 hits this time but Cedric gets his foot on the ropes. Another 054 attempt misses and Alexander elbows him in the head. Ali gets elbowed down again and the Lumbar Check gives him the title at 12:18.

Rating: B-. This was a lot less competitive than I remember it being as Alexander dominated from the beginning and ran over Ali save for a little flurry near the end. Alexander winning is the right call and I’m glad neither of them went heel here. They both looked good but Ali was a step behind what he usually does here. I had a good time with it and Cedric winning is a feel good moment. That’s all you could ask for here.

Kickoff Show: Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal

Naomi, Carmella, Mandy Rose, Peyton Royce, Liv Morgan, Kavita Devi, Sarah Logan, Dakota Kai, Sasha Banks, Mickie James, Bianca Belair, Becky Lynch, Kairi Sane, Taynara Conti, Sonya Deville, Lana, Bayley, Ruby Riott, Natalya, Dana Brooke

Paige and Beth Phoenix are on commentary. Royce, Devi, Kai, Belair, Sane and Conti are from NXT. Lynch, Bayley and Banks are the only ones to get entrances. Carmella poses with the briefcase at the bell and gets gang attacked, meaning it’s an early elimination. It’s Dana being circled (Dana: “THAT’S NOT NICE!”) and gang attacked for the elimination.

Everything breaks down and the NXT women stand tall, meaning it’s time for the required NXT chant. Becky yells at Devi for stealing the orange look and gets slammed for her complaints. Mandy gets tossed and Paige is panicking. Deville is slammed down and Belair is allowed to hit a 450 as we take a break.

Back with Sane being tossed after hitting the Insane Elbow on Riott during the commercial. Devi is tossed and Conti is knocked out a few seconds later. Belair whips Becky with the hair but gets kicked out in short order. Kai kicks Naomi in the face to put her under the ropes and out to the floor. Banks gets rid of Kai and Riott punches Mickie out. Now it’s Royce firing off some kicks but the Riott Squad superkick her out to a chorus of boos.

We’re down to the Squad, Natalya, Banks, Bayley and Naomi on the floor. Natalya suplexes Riott and Logan down but Bayley saves Sasha from the same. Bayley and Sasha get rid of Natalya, Morgan, Riott and Logan in short order. They stare each other down and Bayley gets the quick elimination. Cue Naomi though and the Rear View is good for the win at 9:49.

Rating: D+. I liked it better than the men’s version (that’s not exactly a high bar to clear) but egads what is the point in giving this to Naomi? She’s been doing a grand total of nothing in recent weeks (months really) and there was a story between Banks and Bayley. This feels like giving Orton the Royal Rumble last year in that someone has to win it, even if

And now, the main show.

Khloe and Halle sing America the Beautiful. They’re billed as “the future of music” but I’m not convinced. If that’s the case, I’d expect an original song.

The opening video is about having a good time, just like it was four years ago. The camera walks through the streets of New Orleans and goes into a cafe/club before someone goes onto a balcony to throw beads down to a crowd below. The regular highlight package, set to Kid Rock’s Celebrate and mixed with Wrestlemania XXX highlights (good choice really), takes us into the stadium and my goodness the set looks amazing. It’s designed to look like a Mardi Gras mask, though the bottom looks like a huge mustache over the entrance. Also, several of the wrestlers’ eyes will appear in the mask for a very cool touch.

Intercontinental Title: Seth Rollins vs. Finn Balor vs. The Miz

Miz is defending after both challengers beat him in one night, which is totally the same thing or something. Rollins has blue contacts in, I guess making him the ice to the fire that burns it down? Still though, looks pretty cool. In another cool addition, there are some personalized 3D projections for some wrestlers, including Miz’s name with quotes around him saying how great and awesome Miz is. These could only be seen on the monitors so I didn’t notice them until the second match.

Miz, looking even goofier than usual with what looks like a red version of Drew Gulak’s old gear, sends the Miztourage to the back so he can do this on his own. Balor has a rainbow shirt on with a group of fans in identical shirts cheering him on from the stage. The screens say “for everyone” with FOR EVER capitalized.

Balor sends Miz into Rollins to start and some rollups get two for all three of them. With Miz being sent outside, Rollins superkicks Balor in the ribs, only to get sent outside. That means a big flip dive onto the two of them as Balor gets the first real advantage. Everyone heads back inside with Rollins hitting a double Blockbuster for two on Balor. Miz takes Rollins down and grabs a chinlock for a few seconds to slow things down. A neckbreaker gets two on Balor and it’s back to the chinlock.

Balor fights up and stomps on Miz’s ribs but gets caught with a Sling Blade from Rollins. Seth isn’t done and hits a suicide dive on both guys, only to get caught in a Sling Blade from Balor. Miz’s short DDT gets two on Seth and he boots Rollins in the face to break up a springboard. A dragon screw legwhip sets up the Figure Four on Balor but here’s Rollins with a frog splash for the break. That looked much better on screen as you didn’t see Rollins until he was on the top and ready to jump.

They all head outside again with Balor escaping the shoulder breaking barricade bomb. Instead it’s a Sling Blade to put Rollins down but he’s back up with an enziguri to rock Balor. That earns him a Pele and the 1916 for two as Balor is stunned. Miz catches Balor on top but gets caught in a buckle bomb, leaving Balor to take the superplex into a Falcon Arrow but Balor reverses into a small package for two. A Skull Crushing Finale gets two on Rollins to cap off a rocking sequence.

Another Finale is reversed into a rollup for two but Balor gets crotched on top. Rollins goes up top with him but Miz is right there with a super Skull Crushing Finale (looked better than it sounds). The cover is broken up with a Coup de Grace and a second hits Miz clean. Rollins runs over with a Stomp to drive Balor’s head into Miz’s back, followed by the regular version to pin Miz for the title at 15:30.

Rating: B. This was the kind of match you expect from the Intercontinental Title as all three were working hard and the match felt very crisp at the same time. Miz will get the title back someday and break both records, as he should. I’m sure Balor will get the title as well, which is nothing but good for the Intercontinental Title. If nothing else it’s cool to see the former World Champions becoming Intercontinental Champions. That wasn’t always the case (After Pedro Morales, the next former World Champion to win an Intercontinental Title was HHH in 2001) but it’s a good way to give the title some more instant credibility.

Ad for the Andre documentary. I’ve heard good things.

Cena is still a fan. How cool would it be to have him next to you at Wrestlemania?

We recap Charlotte vs. Asuka, which is title vs. streak. Charlotte has dominated the Women’s Division for nearly three years now but Asuka hasn’t a match since debuting in late 2015. The match here is Queen vs. Empress with Charlotte saying she’s ready for Asuka.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Asuka

Charlotte is defending and copies HHH’s entrance from Wrestlemania XXX with a throne and three masked men helping her off. These three: Riddick Moss, Tino Sabbatelli and Dan Matha. I’m assuming this was something about she once helped HHH off the throne but now she has her own, but it felt like a tribute to HHH more than anything else. Asuka on the other hand has 3D masks superimposed over her entrance. You know, in case it wasn’t scary enough already.

They fight over a wristlock to start with both of them flipping away, leaving Charlotte to hit the strut. Charlotte trips her down and goes for the leg but Asuka kicks her away, setting up a knee shot for two. Back up and Asuka’s hip attack is blocked so it’s time for the chops. The second hip attack sends Charlotte outside and you can see the cockiness on Asuka’s face.

Charlotte gets back in and it’s time to start cranking on the arm to set up the Asuka Lock. It’s way too early for that though so Charlotte strikes her in the face a few times but has to break another attempt. This time it’s a backpack Stunner to get Charlotte out of trouble and some knees to the head (think the Stomp but with a knee) put Asuka down again. The moonsault misses though as Asuka catches her in a triangle (SWEET!) in the middle of the ring.

That’s reverses into a Boston crab but Asuka rolls her way out of it. They head to the apron (becoming way too common) and Asuka suplexes her down to the floor in a big crash. Back in and the missile dropkick puts Charlotte down for two and Asuka is getting frustrated. They go up top and it’s a super Spanish Fly (I believe that’s three on the night so far) to give Charlotte a big breather.

Natural Selection is countered into something like an Octopus Hold on the mat before switching to the Asuka Lock. Charlotte reverses that with a rollup before cutting Asuka in half with a spear for a VERY near fall. With Asuka half done, Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight, balancing on one hand because of the banged up arm. After hanging on as long as she can, Asuka ACTUALLY TAPS to retain Charlotte’s title at 13:05.

Rating: A-. I was kind of stunned at the amount of time this had as I would have bet on it being at least five minutes longer. This felt like a clash of titans and Charlotte winning gives her a very strong case for being the best of all time. Aside from not being around as long as some others, she has the resume, skill and pure skill to make her the best WWE has ever seen.

Having Asuka do a lot of her usual stuff (albeit cranked up a few notches) was a great way to set up the match as Charlotte was able to hang on and use what she had seen along with her natural athleticism to be ready for what Asuka brought. It was hard hitting, told a story and was an instant classic. Great stuff here, which shouldn’t be that surprising.

Post match Asuka says Charlotte was ready for Asuka and congratulates her.

With Charlotte on the ramp and Asuka in the ring, a referee tells Cena something (the words “Taker is here” may have been spoken) so Cena jumps the barricade (security around here sucks) and sprints up the ramp. That took something away from the women’s moment. Do the commercial and then move on to the Cena angle. It’s not going to make that much of a difference and lets the women have their full moment.

US Title: Bobby Roode vs. Rusev vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending after having a three way feud with Roode and Mahal for the last few weeks. Rusev pinned Orton in a tag match to be added, along with being one of the hottest guys in the company. Aiden English (who has gotten his hair cut since the battle royal) introduces Rusev, in rhyme of course. You can see the fans heading for the concourse during the entrances, which is rather interesting given how popular Rusev was over the weekend. Aside from a Wrestlemania shirt, I saw more Rusev Day shirts than anything else. I guess the repelling powers of Mahal and Orton are too much even for Rusev Day.

The early threat of an RKO sends Mahal bailing to the floor and Rusev dropkicks Roode to the floor. Rusev cannonballs off the apron to take out Orton and Mahal as Phillips acknowledges the popularity of Rusev Day. Back in and Roode’s Blockbuster gets two, leaving Mahal to get punched back and forth between Roode and Orton. A superplex brings Roode down but it’s Mahal asking Rusev for an alliance.

Rusev, realizing that he should have been Mahal last year, stomps Mahal down in the corner instead before getting two off a belly to back suplex. Roode is back with a spinebuster for two on Mahal but gets posted by Orton. Now it’s Rusev kicking Orton down until a spinwheel kick misses. The hanging DDT plants Rusev and English is starting to panic. A pair of RKO’s take out English and Rusev, followed by one to Mahal for a near fall with Roode making the save. Mahal takes a Machka Kick but can’t get the Accolade. Instead he has to deal with Sunil Singh and walks into the Khallas to make Mahal champion at 8:15.

Rating: D. And that is the big middle finger to the fans who thought they were getting somewhere with the Rusev Day chants. WWE wants Jinder Mahal to be pushed in this role and the lack of success and complete apathy to his push means nothing. This is what WWE wants and you can chant RUSEV DAY and buy his merchandise all you want. Mahal is WWE’s guy right now and you can just deal with it until they’re tired of him. Rusev taking the fall here is all the evidence you need: your voices don’t matter here and get over it. The match was as uninteresting as these four were going to be, which was completely expected.

The Fashion Police try to give Mick Foley a ticket but Breeze likes his style, driving Fandango to his knees in terror.

We recap Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon. Rousey signed with WWE earlier in the year but Angle thinks HHH and Stephanie are just trying to use her. This set off a feud between the two teams with Rousey beating HHH much, only to have Stephanie put her through a table. The match was set up because Rousey needs a debut and putting her in a tag match is the best possible idea. It lets them hide her negatives and accentuate her positives so this has some potential. Of course there’s also the potential that it’s really just about Stephanie, which certainly wouldn’t be outside the realm of possibility.

Stephanie McMahon/HHH vs. Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle

In a near repeat of last year, HHH and Stephanie come out on matching motorcycles with a group of motorcycles accompanying them. I don’t know if HHH is just that big a fan of motorcycles or if he just wanted to see his wife as a biker chick again (fair enough) but this didn’t do much for me. Rousey comes out in a Roddy Piper style kilt, in what shouldn’t be a shock to anyone paying attention whatsoever. The fans give Rousey a nice reaction and Stephanie pie faces her before the bell. They’re already milking the heck out of Rousey murdering her and a hair pull makes things even worse.

The men start things off with the fans telling Angle that he still has it. Angle cranks on the arm as they’re actually treating this like a tag match to start. Stephanie offers a low bridge though and HHH sends him into the steps to really take over. A suplex brings Angle back inside and we’re just waiting on this to explode. Back in and HHH calls for and delivers a spinebuster for two. Angle kicks him away and nearly into Stephanie but HHH puts the brakes on in time. A suplex drops HHH, only to have Stephanie pull Rousey off the apron. I’ll give Stephanie this: she knows how to be an amazing heel.

Another kick to the floor is enough for the tag to Rousey and the place goes coconuts. Rousey EXPLODES into the corner (Graves: “CALL THE COPS!”) to pull Stephanie in and scores with a running clothesline. With Stephanie in big trouble (Rouse: “COME ON B****!”), Rousey takes her into the corner and unloads with rights and lefts before throwing Stephanie again. It’s already time for the arm….and Stephanie blocks it by stacking her up.

Back up and Rousey goes into Beast Mode, setting up a spinning Samoan drop for two with HHH pulling the referee out. Rousey: “You’re the biggest cheater I’ve ever seen! I’m going to go continue beating up your wife ok?” HHH pulls Rousey outside as well but Angle takes him onto the announcers’ table. Kurt gets thrown onto the other table so HHH can check on Stephanie. He turns around to see Rousey though and it’s time for some intergender violence.

You can see HHH thinking about it and the fans are WAY into this one. He finally agrees to it and Rousey UNLOADS on him with rights and lefts to drive HHH into the corner. A fireman’s carry has HHH in trouble but Stephanie makes the save. This was GREAT with HHH selling the heck out of the beating and making Rousey look that much better. Stephanie slaps Rousey for some reason and the chase is on, this time with Stephanie sending him into the barricade.

HHH takes Rousey down though and it’s time for Angle to unleash the suplexes. The rolling German suplexes have HHH in trouble but he tries a quick Pedigree. That’s reversed into a catapult into the corner (he always takes that so well) and the Angle Slam gets two. There go the straps (that never gets old) but Stephanie breaks up the ankle lock. Angle doesn’t seem to mind and puts the ankle lock on her (doesn’t look great this time around). That’s broken up with a Pedigree but Rousey makes a save.

A powerbomb attempt to Rousey is countered into a hurricanrana (good one too) and there’s the armbar on HHH. The place (including me) goes even more nuts until Stephanie makes the save with a sleeper (called a rear naked choke, which of course Stephanie knows how to do). That’s reversed into another armbar attempt but Stephanie blocks AGAIN.

The ankle lock goes on HHH and the villains grab hands until HHH sends Angle into the women for the break. Angle and Rousey both get posted and it’s time for the double Pedigree. Kurt sends HHH to the floor and the armbar….is blocked for a third time. Rousey FINALLY gets it on and Stephanie taps at 20:38. Dana White is shown applauding Rousey from the front row.

Rating: A-. I can’t give it anything higher than that due to Stephanie going toe to toe with Rousey (at grappling nonetheless) but this was INCREDIBLY fun and far better than anything I was expecting. They pulled every trick they could to make Rousey look better here and it worked to near perfection. She looked like someone who had been doing this for years and came off like a star who is in this for the long haul. Absolutely incredible here and as entertaining as it could have been. I had a blast, Stephanie issues aside. The ending was fine and the most important part, so we’ll call this a major success.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Bludgeon Brothers vs. Usos

The Usos are defending, the New Day has 3D pancakes and, with the call of the DragonZord, Woods’ trombone summons an army of little people dressed like pancakes. I do like the Bludgeon Brothers’ logo with the arms holding hammers to make a B. Kofi wastes no time hitting Trouble in Paradise on Jimmy but Harper makes the save. The Brothers pulls Big E. to the floor for a beating and then powerbomb Woods into the post for good measure.

Back in and Kofi’s beating continues but Jimmy tags himself in and starts kicking away. Some superkicks do a little good but Harper shoves Jimmy into the corner. Jey tags himself in as well (must be a family thing) and starts kicking away, only to have Rowan break up the double Us.

Rating: D+. This feels like a victim of time but it’s not the worst thing in the world. They went out of their way to make the Brothers look like killers and that’s exactly what happened here. I could have gone for a little more time given to the match, but something has to be cut on a show this long and this was one of the most logical choices. The Brothers won though and that’s what matters the most.

Here’s John Cena for a match, though no opponent has been named yet. A second referee runs down though and tells Cena something is wrong. Cena grabs the referee as he’s shaking his head no. This goes on for a bit….and there go the lights….because Elias is here. Elias: “Were you expecting somebody else?”

Well that someone doesn’t have the charisma Elias has, nor does he have the talent that Elias carries in his soul. Cena bails back to his seat in disgust and leaves Elias alone to sing his song, insulting the fans as he always does. As you might guess, Cena gets up and cleans house by initiating his finishing sequence.

Undertaker vs. John Cena

Undertaker goes straight at him in the corner and hammers away, including the running clothesline. Old School sets up Snake Eyes and the WORST BIG BOOT EVER. When you’re sitting hundreds of feet away from the ring and can see the gap between the boot and the hands in front of Cena’s face, it’s a really bad sign. But remember, HE STILL HAS IT. The chokeslam is countered into a belly to back suplex but Undertaker sits up before the Shuffle, sending Cena falling off his feet in shock. The chokeslam and Tombstone end Cena completely clean at 2:42. Undertaker doesn’t even seem to be sweating.

So….that happened. I definitely like it better than seeing Undertaker stumble through a long match and it certainly should be memorable. Of course it’s not likely to mean anything until next Wrestlemania season, but this is the perfect payoff: Cena has been acting like a complete and utter jerk this whole time and Undertaker threw him the most decisive beating of his career. Even the Lesnar squash saw Cena get in a little offense and a near fall. Here it was a single suplex and that was it. I’m fine with Undertaker going out like this, but at this point I have no reason to believe it’s over.

Hall of Fame video. Hillbilly Jim should be done any minute now.

Here’s the big presentation to the crowd.

Jeff Jarrett. Nice reaction and the strut still looks good.

Mark Henry. No salmon jacket, no buys.

Hillbilly Jim. My hero as a young Kentucky boy.

Ivory. She’s looking better now than she did when she was active.

Jarius JJ Robertson. Did you know he’s cute? Wasn’t sure if that was made clear.

Dudley Boyz. Yep. Next.

Goldberg. I’m hoping those chants aren’t piped in. He does a Green Lantern pose with the ring to wrap things up.

We recap Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn. Owens and Zayn have been going after the two of them for months now and it wasn’t clear where things were going. Then Bryan was cleared to wrestle again and everything came together at once. The evil Canadians have been attacking both of them, including giving Shane a hernia. They’ve been fired, but Bryan wants one more match with their jobs on the line. The question here is whether or not Shane turns on Bryan, which could go either way.

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

Shane is in a YES jersey, with the YES being pretty clearly taped on. That sounds like a way for a quick switch to YUP (Owens and Sami’s battle cry) for me. Bryan gets his own entrance, with a Terminator style video, showing the YES chant spreading around the world, even in mainstream sports, before locking in on the home of the YES Movement, which happens to be right here in the Superdome. You can see the emotion on Bryan’s face as he comes to the ring and it’s nearly moving to see.

Owens and Zayn’s music hit but they come in from behind for the big beatdown, including an apron bomb to Bryan. That might be enough for him as the medics come in to check. Even the fans don’t seem to buy this one, as they probably shouldn’t. Shane is willing to fight on his own and YES, we get the lame punches on Owens in the corner. The jumping elbow to the jaw puts Owens down but Shane has to beat up Zayn as well.

Now of course he can do that at the same time, including a jumping kick to Owens and a Maivia Hurricane to Sami. The old hernia pops up though and brings Shane down as we have a stretcher for Bryan. We settle down to Sami taking over on Shane before it’s off to Owens (thankfully in a KO Mania III shirt) to step on the stomach. Owens: “MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY! MONEY ISN’T GOING TO SAVE YOU NOW!”

A superkick sets up the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but Owens gets knocked to the floor. The Helluva Kick misses and Sami gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Of course Shane is fine enough to hit the Coast to Coast but Owens makes the save with a backsplash onto the bad stomach. The frog splash gets two but Bryan comes back in for the save. That’s not enough for a hot tag so Sami gets out of a chinlock by slamming Sami into the mat.

NOW it’s off to Bryan for the first time in nearly three years. He takes his time coming in (as he should) before hammering away on Zayn. There’s the moonsault into the running clothesline, followed by a running knee off the apron to Owens. A missile dropkick puts Bryan down but he grabs his head….and nips up because he’s fine. That was a scary but great moment. The running corner dropkicks rock Owens and Zayn and a top rope hurricanrana drops Sami. Kevin breaks up the knee though and the Helluva Kick is only good for two. My goodness finishers mean nothing on Wrestlemania night.

Owens tells him to stay retired and gets two more off the Pop Up Powerbomb. Since we haven’t seen him in long enough, Shane takes Owens down and we’re back to even again. Back in and Sami hammers away while asking how Bryan could do this to them. That’s enough for Bryan and he unloads with the strikes and YES Kicks, even hitting the big one. The running knee into the YES Lock is good for the submission at 15:25 to keep Owens and Zayn fired.

Rating: C+. This was of course ALL about Bryan, to the point where even Shane’s usual superhero efforts seem to pale in comparison. They didn’t go with the stupid swerve finish for the sake of the storyline because this needed to be Bryan’s night. To go from having no chance to wrestling in a huge Wrestlemania match is more than you could ever ask for and he doesn’t look like he’s lost a step. If he’s back full time, WWE just got one heck of a bonus. Not a great match, but the ending was what it should have been.

Bryan and Shane celebrate with Bryan going to the floor to kiss Brie in a nice moment.

Attendance announcement.

We recap Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax. Bliss had been her friend for a long time but was eventually caught making fun of Nia’s size and weight. This didn’t sit well with Jax and it was time to SMASH. And take the title. Bliss is suddenly ultra confident despite being a foot shorter and about 160lbs lighter.

Raw Women’s Title: Nia Jax vs. Alexa Bliss

Bliss is challenging and comes down from the set on a mini platform. So that’s what happened to Bad News Barrett’s stage. Hang on a second though as Nia needs to destroy Mickie James before the bell, meaning this is truly one on one. Bliss slaps Nia due to high levels of stupid and Jax’s growl gives us a horror movie level scream in response. Makes sense actually.

There’s a gorilla press to plant Bliss as the dominance isn’t taking time tonight. That’s not the beginning of the end for some reason as Bliss starts in on the knee to take over, including a double knee to the knee in the corner. A guillotine choke is shrugged off but Nia goes shoulder first into the post (WAY too common of a spot tonight). Twisted Bliss to the floor drops Nia and the DDT gets two, shocking/scaring the heck out of Bliss all over again.

For some reason Bliss calls Nia pathetic and slaps her a few times….until Nia grabs her by the throat. A charge into the corner is cut off by another kick to the knee but Bliss’ sunset flip is tossed into the corner. Bliss is right back with a poke to the eye but Nia is right back with one of the hardest Alabama Slams you’ll ever see. Since Bliss is mostly dead, it’s a super Samoan drop to put her away for good and make Nia champion at 9:01.

Rating: D+. I was firmly in the camp of this needing to be about a minute long with Bliss getting in nothing beyond a few harmless forearms and I’m still of that state of mind. Bliss didn’t look like a joke here but there’s a time to squash the heck out of someone and that’s what we had here. Jax is a monster and should have destroyed Bliss in short order. Bliss is going to be fine with one more of those cocky promos and it really would have been better to have her get crushed here. The ending did look great though and the right person won, but it’s the wrong path to get here.

We recap the Smackdown World Title match. AJ Styles is the ace of the show and has beaten everyone put in front of him. Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble to earn this shot and we have a dream match. Both guys have promised to win and hopefully they don’t collapse under the expectations. The hype video goes throughout AJ’s career, including clips of him on Thunder and from TNA (!) because WWE can just do something like that.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. AJ Styles

Nakamura is challenging and gets played to the ring by an army of violinists plus Alice Cooper guitarist Nita Strauss playing the heck out of a guitar. That’s one of the better Wrestlemania entrances I’ve ever seen with Strauss’ playing stealing the show. AJ’s graphic lists him as the Universal Champion. If nothing else he gets a cool looking spinning ring of blue light around him once he gets inside for a cool visual.

Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about the Japanese match without talking about the Japanese match. AJ drives him into the corner but gets shoved away as they’re still in low first gear. They hit the mat with Nakamura kicking him in the face before doing his head on the chest arm waving deal. A knee drop keeps AJ in trouble but he breaks up Good Vibrations to offer some mind games of his own.

Back to the corner we go with a hard forearm rocking Styles but he grabs a backbreaker for his first major offense. A knee drop gets two on Nakamura and it’s off to the chinlock. The drop down into a dropkick sends Nakamura outside but he kicks the leg out from the apron. A kick to the head really puts Styles in trouble and a middle rope kick to the face makes it even worse. Nakamura tells him to come on but kicks AJ down. Well dude if you want him to COME ON you have to give him the chance to pull it off.

The running knee in the corner rocks AJ but he’s right back with a pumphandle gutbuster for two. It’s Nakamura’s turn to come back in a hurry though and a Landslide (Samoan Driver) gets another near fall. Some right hands in the corner have AJ rocked but he kicks the knee out to take Nakamura down. There’s the Calf Crusher but Nakamura reverses into a triangle choke (another very popular move this weekend).

That’s broken up with something close to a Death Valley Driver and they’re both down again. Nakamura gets in the kick, only to come up holding the damaged leg. There’s some logic to Styles’ plan at least. The running knee hits the buckle and the Phenomenal Forearm gets two.

AJ needs to bring out the mega guns and tries the springboard 450, which hits the bad knee and gives Nakamura two off a small package. They slug it out until AJ Peles him down, only to get kneed in the back of the head. Nakamura has had it and drives knees into the head before slapping AJ a few times. The Kinshasa is loaded up but AJ rolls through, straight into the Styles Clash to retain at 20:20.

Rating: B. Yeah they didn’t really come close to the expectations here and I can’t say I’m surprised. They didn’t have much going on in the way of telling a story other than both guys hitting their big moves and countering a few of the other’s. There’s no reason to hate either of them and that makes for a dull match if you don’t build to a big finish. It’s certainly good but it never hit that next level that people were expecting. Oh and both Royal Rumble winners lose in their title shots. What a great use of the pay per view.

Post match Nakamura presents AJ with the title….and hits him low (with some Ric Flair level force) to turn heel. Nakamura mocks the fallen champion and kicks him to the floor for Kinshasa. For some reason he flashes a Diamond Cutter sign as he goes up the ramp. Maybe he’s a DDP Yoga user?

Now this was good, but why not do this BEFORE NAKAMURA LOST CLEAN? Do it at the worthless Fastlane or on any show before this match. Give them something more personal to fight over, because what we got for a story here was lacking a bit. I don’t get why WWE thinks this has as much of an impact after a loss, because it really doesn’t work. If nothing else have Nakamura hit him low to steal the title after Kinshasa didn’t get the job done. Just something other than this.

Kickoff Show recap.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Braun Strowman/???

Strowman won the shot by winning a tag team battle royal on his own and his partner has been quite the topic of debate coming into this show. The Bar comes out on a Mardi Gras float to the tune of When the Saints Go Marching In before switching to their usual entrance. I was worried I was a bit too tired and imagined all the costumed people on the float but not so much apparently.

Strowman comes out and turns the float over off the stage but has no partner. He knows everyone wants to know who it is, but he wanted to wait until he got to New Orleans. That’s because his partner….is a member of the WWE Universe. Strowman looks around forever and finally sees someone in the crowd. He goes into the crowd (this is taking WAY too long) and finds….a ten year old boy. The boy, named Nicholas, is introduced as Strowman’s partner as Graves is losing his mind.

Nicholas is terrified (completely understandable) as Braun starts (good idea) with Sheamus. Graves isn’t sure about this as Nicholas probably has algebra tomorrow. Fans: “WE WANT NICHOLAS!” A chokeslam gets two on Cesaro but Braun gets double suplexes. With Sheamus talking trash to Nicholas, he drops a top rope knee for two. On Braun, not the kid.

Braun crossbodies both of them down and Sheamus gets backdropped over the corner for a NASTY fall, hitting both the post and the steps on the way down. That’s enough for the tag to Nicholas….who tags straight out again. The powerslam on Cesaro is good for the pin and the titles at 3:57.

Rating: F. I laughed when it happened but the more I think about this, the worse and worse it looks. If you want to do this over a comedy team or something then fine, but after everything Cesaro and Sheamus have done over the last few years, this is the best they can get? Having Brains Strowman come out there would have been a better move as this comes off as a stupid idea where they just refused to pick something and went with the first stupid idea that came to their heads. Put Hawkins out there if this is the best thing you can come up with. I didn’t like this idea as it makes it into a total joke, which shouldn’t be the case.

Wrestlemania XXXV is in New York. Well New Jersey but whatever. I’m good on that one.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns. Lesnar won the Universal Title at last year’s show and Reigns won the Elimination Chamber after doing nothing main event level for months. Reigns went on to call Lesnar out for not being here all the time and just doing what’s best for himself, which earned Reigns a series of beatings. But hey, this time for sure, right?

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is challenging and nope, the plan didn’t work. As you might expect, the fans boo him out of the building all over again because THIS ISN’T WORKING. After the Big Match Intros, Lesnar hits three German suplexes in the first thirty seconds. Reigns is right back up with two Superman Punches and a running clothesline to put Lesnar on the floor. Brock grabs a belly to belly on the outside, followed by a second one with Reigns almost landing on his head.

The fans chant for CM Punk as Brock loads up the announcers’ table. Another belly to belly sends Reigns face first into the table (no elevation at all) and Brock hits another German suplex back inside. A seventh suplex (with a fan providing helpful signs) is almost completely flat as we’re just waiting on the beach balls now.

There’s another belly to belly, during which time the fans started doing the Wave. A fan in my section started shouting about how the fans should just leave if they’re that bored because they’re ruining it for the rest of the fans. He was promptly given a DELETE chant because wrestling fans are rather horrible people at times. It’s time for another table as the fans want Johnny Gargano.

Reigns posts him on the floor as the fans aren’t reacting in the slightest. A spear sends Lesnar over the table (still no reaction) as the Wave is in full swing. The fans loudly boo….because a beach ball is taken away. Reigns gets two off a Superman Punch and two spears and it’s beach ball time again. Brock blocks a spear with a knee for two, followed by the F5 for the same. The fans still aren’t interested, because this just isn’t anything they care about.

F5, two, F5, two (Brock: “MOTHERF*****!”), the fans chant BORING (actually acknowledging the match for a change, F5 through a table (to NO reaction), F5, two. That’s enough for Lesnar as he takes the gloves off and just unloads with the hard right hands as the fans declare this awful. Reigns is GUSHING blood but hits two spears for a near fall. Not that it matters as a sixth F5 retains the title at 15:49, shocking the heck out of the crowd.

Rating: D. Here’s the thing: the match itself is a hard hitting video game match and had some entertaining spots. If you watch it in a complete vacuum, it’s actually good. The problem is, at least in this case, you can’t just ignore everything else and watch the match on its own. This was a complete and utter rejection of everything going on and you can’t ignore it. I’m not sure how much more needs to be done to make it clear that Reigns isn’t working but this might be it. Either that or we try to do this again NEXT year, just because that’s what WWE is obsessed with doing.

I have no idea where they go from here as Lesnar might not be around much longer and other than Reigns, there’s no one that could conceivably take the title from him. Reigns winning here was the logical call, but I can see why they pulled the plug. If it’s that bad though and the fans have rejected him this many times in a row, it’s time to admit defeat and move on. Hopefully that’s what the loss means, but stranger things have happened, just with Roman alone actually.

After a long highlight package, as in about seven minutes long, a cleaned up Reigns walks up the ramp to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. You know, there’s a pattern to these mega long shows. For the last three years, they’ve all started off white hot for about two hours but then they hit a road block and go sailing off a cliff. In Dallas it was the Cell, in Orlando it was the mixed tag and here it was pretty much everything after Rousey’s match (Bryan and Styles’ matches ranged from good to acceptable).

Maybe it’s having Reigns as the big finish or maybe it’s just the length of the shows, but they simply can’t maintain the momentum they set up at the start of these shows. It’s like they just run out of ideas and throw whatever nonsense they have on the screen, which may or may not work. I can get that with a small writing staff, but with THIRTY WRITERS put together into two groups, there’s never an excuse to run out of ideas this quickly.

Overall, the show is more good than bad, thanks to the first two matches, the mixed tag, Bryan and AJ, but they really needed to shed….oh a good two hours to get this down to manageable. Notice that I keep saying that year after year. Seven hours is just not something that anyone can pull off because eventually your buzz goes away. It’s happened to me three years in a row and I can’t imagine I’m in the minority. Just give us a break at some point because not everyone needs to be on the show. If you’re only good enough to be thrown into the battle royal, odds are you don’t belong on the card.

Really, the mixed tag main eventing would have made more sense (like you would EVER have to ask Stephanie if she wanted to main event Wrestlemania). If they were going to pull the plug on Reigns winning the title here, go with the feel good, fun match and let Rousey look like the big star. It would make more sense but Reigns seemed to be set in stone for that spot, pretty obvious reaction aside.

All in all, Wrestlemania XXXIV is a good show that needs a MAJOR edit to make it work. Switch the lineup around, shorten some matches, cut some matches (in other words, GET THE TIME LOWER) and you might have something great on your hands. As it is though, it falls into the same category as the other two mega long shows: a hot start, but they run out of gas because there’s a limit to how much wrestling any large group of fans can take.

Results

Seth Rollins b. The Miz and Finn Balor – Stomp to Miz

Charlotte b. Asuka – Figure Eight

Jinder Mahal b. Randy Orton, Bobby Roode and Rusev – Khallas to Rusev

Ronda Rousey/Kurt Angle b. HHH/Stephanie McMahon – Armbar to McMahon

Bludgeon Brothers b. New Day and Usos – Double sitout superbomb to Kingston

Undertaker b. John Cena – Tombstone

Shane McMahon/Daniel Bryan b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – YES Lock to Zayn

Nia Jax b. Alexa Bliss – Super Samoan drop

AJ Styles b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Styles Clash

Braun Strowman/Nicholas b. The Bar – Powerslam to Cesaro

Brock Lesnar b. Roman Reigns – F5

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 5, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Wrestlemania and unfortunately about half of the show will be destroyed by the NCAA Championship game. Therefore you might expect a lot crammed into the first hour and a half or so, but we are going to be lucky enough to have the main event of Drew McIntyre vs. King Corbin, because you always need more Corbin. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Drew McIntyre for an opening chat. We see a clip of King Corbin and Bobby Lashley taking him out last week and, after the fire goes off, McIntyre talks about how we have five days until Wrestlemania. Things have changed so much in the last year and now McIntyre is ready for he and Lashley to tear each other to shreds.

Drew talks about how much he wanted to be WWE Champion, even when his mother was getting leukemia treatment. He wanted to go home so badly but his mom threatened to beat him up herself if he gave up. It took his this many years to get to the top of the mountain….and here are Lashley and MVP to cut him off.

Lashley says it took Drew sixteen years to get to the top but it took Lashley seventeen so he knows the feeling. Now he is on top of the mountain and everyone wants to take his title. Last week he felt Drew quiver and shake in the Hurt Lock, which Drew agrees is no joke. Drew is ready to fight right now but MVP says they’re waiting for Saturday. MVP promises Drew loses so Drew says maybe he can go be an Amazon driver instead. Or he can say screw that and come win the title back at Wrestlemania. King Corbin comes out to promise to beat up Drew tonight.

Riddle and New Day make jokes about Omos getting Kofi pretty high last week. Kofi Kingston hopes no one gets that high over the weekend but knows they’ll win. Oh and Riddle is ready for Sheamus, even though he smells bad.

AJ Styles vs. Xavier Woods

AJ has the Calf Crusher on in less than a minute so Kofi throws the microphone at Omos for a distraction. That makes AJ let go of the hold and Woods grabs a small package for the pin at 1:18. This has been your first example of “get them out of the ring before they can get hurt during Wrestlemania week”.

New Day goes into the stands to celebrate with the titles.

Bad Bunny and Damien Priest show up in a $3 million Bugatti.

Video on Braun Strowman vs. Shane McMahon, including the announcement of their cage match at Wrestlemania.

Here is Braun Strowman in a cage for a chat. Strowman is sick of being tired of being called stupid, even with Shane having his fake report card last week. At Wrestlemania, Strowman is fighting for everyone who has ever been called stupid. At Wrestlemania, it isn’t going to be here comes the money, but here comes the body bag. Cue Shane McMahon to say the decision to have a cage match is not that stupid. Shane promises to beat Strowman at Wrestlemania and that is going to make him feel stupid. This is still a horrible feud, but at least this was coherent and not something that made me want to lash out irrationally.

Braun Strowman vs. Elias/Jaxson Ryker

The double teaming puts Strowman down to start and Ryker hits a top rope headbutt. Elias hits a top rope splash called an elbow, but Strowman kicks both of them off at once. That makes Shane take off his jacket to come to the ring but Strowman knocks Elias and Ryker away, sending Shane backtracking. Strowman clubs them down and hits back to back powerslams for the pin at 2:36.

Miz and John Morrison have buckets of paint….and use it on the Bugatti, complete with HEY HEY, signatures and a painting of a bunny. Good thing it’s a white car.

Post break Bunny finds his car and panics a good bit, only to have Miz and Morrison jump him from behind. Agents and Priest make the save as Bunny seems more surprised than hurt.

We recap the contract signing between Rhea Ripley and Asuka from last week. It turned violent and led to a tag match this week.

Rhea Ripley says she and Asuka have to work together tonight or they’ll get destroyed. Asuka can wait for vengeance.

There will be a four team Tag Team Turmoil on Saturday, with the winners getting a Women’s Tag Team Title match on Sunday.

Asuka/Rhea Ripley vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Non-title. Shayna and Asuka shove each other around to start with Asuka taking her down and stepping on her face. Ripley comes in and throws Baszler around so it’s off to Jax for the power showdown. Jax picks her up but Ripley slips out and….tags Asuka right in. Jax runs Asuka over for two but she is right back with a Codebreaker.

It’s back to Ripley, who is distracted by Reginald and sent into the apron as we take a break. Back with Jax dropping an elbow on Ripley to keep her in trouble. That’s broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Asuka to clean some house. A knee to Baszler gets two but Ripley turns on Asuka, allowing Baszler to hit a running knee for the pin at 12:01.

Rating: C-. Makes as much sense as anything else, as it isn’t like there was any reason for Ripley and Asuka to work together. Ignoring that this is the fourth time in a month and a half that we have had people feuding for a title facing the Tag Team Champions between Raw/Smackdown/NXT, the match at least made a bit of sense this time around.

We look back at the Hurt Business splitting up last week.

Cedric Alexander, with Shelton Benjamin by his side, grabs MVP by the jacket and says Lashley is nothing without the two of them backing him up. Violence is teased but Cedric and Shelton let him go and leave. MVP says he isn’t worried about Lashley vs. Cedric tonight. He talks about how many great things he did for the two of them when Lashley comes up to ask what happened. Lashley promises pain for Cedric tonight.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler are happy with their win when the women in the Tag Team Turmoil match on Saturday (for the shot at the Women’s Tag Team Titles on Sunday) and Billie Kay come in to say they’ll win. Jax’s “YOU DON’T EVEN GO HERE” to Natalya/Tamina was funny. Not as funny as when Bianca Belair said it in NXT last year, but still funny.

Video on Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre.

Cedric Alexander vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title. Hold on though as Shelton Benjamin comes in to help Cedric jump Lashley before the bell. Lashley knocks them away and we officially get going with Lashley sending Cedric into the corner. A neckbreaker gives Lashley two and they head outside with the beating continues. Cedric’s forearms to the back have no effect so Lashley sends him into the corner for the running shoulder to the ribs. Outside again with Alexander being sent ribs first into the post as we take a break.

Back with Alexander hammering away but being sent outside. Benjamin saves Alexander from going into the post again so it’s the Neuralizer to stagger Lashley back inside. A missile dropkick gives Alexander two but Lashley plants him with a spinebuster. The spinning Big Ending sets up a powerbomb/spinebuster (Lashley got him so high that it could have been either) and the Hurt Lock finishes Alexander at 10:20.

Rating: C. This was longer than I would have expected and it was nice to see Alexander get in some offense before going down as he should have. As stupid as it is to split up the Hurt Business before they could really become great, Lashley running through them has been effective. Granted he could have run through some other talented people to get here but leave it to WWE to mess up something good.

Post match Lashley won’t let go so Shelton comes in for the save, earning himself a beating of his own.

Video on Fiend vs. Randy Orton.

Here are Damien Priest and Bad Bunny to address what Miz and Morrison did earlier. Priest says it’s easy to jump Bunny 2-1 so let’s make this a tag match at Wrestlemania. Bunny talks about how he has been a huge fan for a long time and watched wrestling with his dad. He is only here to do his job and perform his song about Booker T., but now he has to deal with these two.

After switching to Spanish for a bit, Bunny says he doesn’t respect Miz anymore and at Wrestlemania it is time to give him a whipping. Miz and Morrison pop up on screen to mockingly applaud everything Bunny and Priest said. The tag match is on and they ride off in their limo.

Mustafa Ali talks to Sheamus about how Riddle cost him the US Title. Tonight, he’s taking care of Riddle, but that’s not cool with Sheamus. He’s rather serious about this but Riddle splits them up with his scooter.

Mustafa Ali vs. Riddle

Non-title….and a bunch of colorful birds come flying at the screen when Riddle jumps up to kick off his shoes. I know it happened last week and it’s still bizarre. Riddle takes him down for the early triangle choke attempt but Ali is out in a hurry. Ali gets in a chinlock of his own but Riddle breaks that up just as fast and sends him outside for a kick to the chest. A Sheamus distraction (thanks to the hat) lets Ali drop Riddle on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Ali hammering away in the corner and grabbing a bodyscissors to work on the ribs. Riddle gets him up and drops back for the break, meaning it’s time for some breathing. They get back up with Riddle hitting the running forearms in the face, only to have Ali go back to the ribs. A few kicks get two and Ali grabs a guillotine choke but Riddle isn’t having any more of this. The choke is quickly reversed into a Bro Derek for the pin at 10:32.

Rating: C. This is another match that could have been something interesting if it meant anything other than softening Riddle up for Sheamus. That being said, I can go for Riddle activating Beast Mode and destroying someone, though I do wish it wasn’t Ali. They did what they needed to do here, even if it wasn’t something I wanted to see.

Drew McIntyre is ready to run through King Corbin and move on to the title match. He isn’t sure why Corbin thinks this is a good idea, but it’s a Claymore and the pin.

Wrestlemania rundown.

Drew McIntyre vs. King Corbin

Before the match, Bobby Lashley promises to put McIntyre to sleep at Wrestlemania. MVP is on commentary as they shove each other around to start. Drew grinds away on a headlock for a bit before running Corbin over for two. Corbin manages the slide underneath the corner into a clothesline for two of his own, followed by a hard whip into the corner to drop McIntyre again. A belly to back slam gives Corbin two more and they head outside.

This time Corbin is whipped into the steps though and McIntyre smiles as we take a break. Back with McIntyre getting two off of a bridging northern lights suplex and then hammering away. Corbin sends him to the apron and then into the post though, which has MVP rather pleased. Back in and Corbin gets two of his own off a suplex of his own before crucifixing the arms and elbowing McIntyre in the head.

Corbin cuts off a comeback attempt with a chokeslam for two. Another under the ropes clothesline is cut off with a spinebuster for a jackknife cover into a near fall. McIntyre grabs the Futureshock for two because THIS MATCH NEEDS TO KEEP GOING. Corbin catches him on top and gets two more off a superplex, followed by Deep Six for the same. That’s enough for MVP, who says that this is about taking out McIntyre, meaning it’s time to send in the cane. Of course it takes too long and McIntyre hits a (very leg slappy) Claymore for the pin at 18:00.

Rating: C+. Well thank goodness they split up the Hurt Business because otherwise we could have had McIntyre fighting the two of them here instead of Corbin vs. McIntyre for the better part of twenty minutes. Gotta get that Corbin in there though, as he doesn’t have anything to do at Wrestlemania and it wouldn’t be right to not have him do the same power moves that he has done since he debuted. Throw in the “oh dang we need to wrap this up” finish and this was entertaining, but really frustrating at the same time.

Lashley comes out for the big showdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show served one purpose and one purpose only: to get you fired up for Wrestlemania. What we got was good enough in that regard, but watching an eighteen minute Corbin match might not exactly light you up all that much. The rest of the show had some moments, but you could feel every minute of this three hour commercial, with only a few parts being noteworthy. It isn’t like there were expectations coming into this one, though I’m not sure how much more it made me want to see the shows.

Results

Xavier Woods b. AJ Styles – Small package

Braun Strowman b. Elias/Jaxson Ryker – Powerslam

Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax b. Asuka/Rhea Ripley – Running knee to Asuka

Bobby Lashley b. Cedric Alexander – Hurt Lock

Riddle b. Mustafa Ali – Bro Derek

Drew McIntyre b. King Corbin – Claymore

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 29, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Byron Saxton, MVP, Tom Phillips

We are less than two weeks away from Wrestlemania and that means it is time to really hammer things home. That might be a problem for the next two weeks though as the shows are going to be up against the NCAA Elite Eight this week and championship game next week. I’m not sure how WWE is going to handle these things but it could be interesting. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Drew McIntyre arrived earlier and isn’t worried about someone taking him out before Wrestlemania.

Here is the Hurt Business to get things going and MVP recaps the chance for someone to take out McIntyre for a future title shot. We look at Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander losing to McIntyre last week and Bobby Lashley is not pleased. They failed miserably and Lashley does not want to be associated with them. MVP gives them the chance to defend themselves but Shelton says Lashley wouldn’t have the title if not for him. Shelton doesn’t like MVP holding him back so Lashley decks Alexander and Shelton suplexes Lashley down. That earns him some knees to the ribs into a Downward Spiral.

We look back at Sheamus attacking Riddle with his scooter last week.

Riddle isn’t sure if Sheamus had a tummy ache or just doesn’t have a soul. Sheamus made him mad last week and tonight Riddle is dealing with it. Riddle goes over to Titus O’Neil and thinks that Titus is hosting the roast of Wrestlemania. Titus corrects him but Riddle asks about the mac and cheese. Sheamus jumps Riddle before their match.

We look at the Hurt Business split, for some reason featuring Main Event graphics.

Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander go up to Adam Pearce and want Shelton vs. Lashley tonight. If that works, Alexander wants a chance next week. Pearce isn’t sure, so they question his testicular fortitude. The match isn’t made but I think you know where this is going.

Riddle vs. Sheamus

Non-title. They go to the mat to start until Sheamus takes him into the corner for a shot to the ribs. A headlock takeover has Riddle in trouble but Riddle pulls him down into a choke (for what looked like a tap but doesn’t count). Sheamus fights up and they head outside where Riddle hits the Floating Bro.

We take a break and come back with Sheamus fish hooking the jaws but Riddle fights up. Sheamus goes up top but gets caught in a belly to belly superplex, with Riddle seeming to land on his head. Riddle is fine enough to send Sheamus into the corner for some running forearms into a t-bone suplex.

The Broton gives Riddle two but a triangle choke is reversed into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break the hold. Instead Sheamus makes the apron for White Noise onto said apron to knock Riddle silly for two. An Alabama Slam gets two more but the Brogue Kick is is broken up. Riddle’s knee is blocked but Sheamus’ connects (it looked like it was supposed to be a Brogue Kick but they were too close) for the pin at 12:45.

Rating: B-. As soon as I saw this match booked and it went past five minutes, I know where it was going, all the way up to Wrestlemania. That is the kind of thing that WWE has done over and over and for the life of me I don’t get the logic. They have a match that is probably the same length that they are going to go on Wrestlemania with a clean finish so now I am supposed to want to watch them do the same thing in less than two weeks? That’s the best that they have and it isn’t exactly inspiring.

Post match Riddle shoves Sheamus off the apron.

We recap Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman.

Shane promises to expose Strowman tonight.

Drew McIntyre runs into AJ Styles and Omos and accuses them of wanting to cash in on Lashley’s offer. Omos says their Wrestlemania plans are more realistic and tension is teased.

Here are Shane McMahon, Elias and Jaxson Ryker for a chat. Shane credits adrenaline for allowing him to run to safety last week. As for Strowman, Shane has found a few things about him, including proof that Strowman is stupid. We see Strowman’s report card (three D-, a D and a D+), plus comments on how much of a distraction Braun really is. Then we get a picture of Braun, with his beard, a dunce cap and a WrestleMania XV jacket, standing in front of a blackboard with “2+2=5, I AM NOT STUPID I AM NOT STUPID” written in large chalk. Shane thinks Braun needs a hug so here is Braun himself.

Braun Strowman vs. Jaxson Ryker

Strowman throws him outside and chases Shane McMahon around (minus train sound effects) but Shane gets away. Back in and Ryker manages a quick shot and goes up, only to leave an ax handle short so he lands on his feet and then ax handles Strowman. That doesn’t get him very far so Strowman goes sends him outside again, setting up the train (with sound effects), but it doesn’t even go halfway around the ring and only hits one person. Back in and the running powerslam finishes Ryker at 2:27.

Post match the beatdown is on with Strowman cleaning house again. Strowman grabs the mic and reminds Shane that he gets to pick the stipulation. It’s going to be….a steel cage match.

It’s time for the Dirt Sheet, with Miz and John Morrison being rather pleased about their upcoming music video. Before we get there though, Miz needs to rant about his challenge to Bad Bunny last week, followed by Bunny attacking him to accept the challenge. Miz promises to pay Bunny back at Wrestlemania for every piece of wood in his back. Now we get the music video for Hey Hey, Hop Hop.

The video features the two of them in white suite (and bunny suits) dancing on the Raw stage and talking trash about Bad Bunny and Damian Priest in front of a fake crowd, including saying that Bunny isn’t OG like Bugs. Also, because WWE, we look at Miz and Morrison watching themselves on the screen, which kind of misses the point of a music VIDEO.

This goes on for a rather long time and Miz is in tears, so here are Bunny and Priest to interrupt. Bunny, in Spanish, promises to take care of Miz at Wrestlemania so Priest steps aside so Miz can get in Bunny’s face. A right hand staggers Miz (it looked good) and Priest and Bunny head inside to break up the Dirt Sheet set.

Randy Orton talks about being in the ring with a lot of legends over the years but none of them have been like the Fiend. Orton knew that he had to do something about the Fiend so he made the decision to burn the Fiend alive. Then Alexa Bliss started talking about how she could bring the Fiend back. Now Orton knows what he is dealing with and knows that at Wrestlemania he has to dig down deep and take care of this abomination. Orton will do whatever it takes to get the Fiend out of his life.

Bobby Lashley vs. Shelton Benjamin

Non-title and Cedric Alexander is here with Benjamin. Shelton wrestles him to the mat to start but Lashley powers up and hammers away. Lashley sends him outside for a hard posting, followed by a running shoulder in the corner back inside. Hold on though as Lashley has to chase Alexander up the ramp. The distraction lets Shelton hit Paydirt for two, followed by a running knee in the corner. Lashley shrugs it off and hits a pair of spinebusters into the Hurt Lock for the win at 4:13.

Rating: C. Shelton was game here and it made for a nice enough match. As usual, there is nothing wrong with an obvious ending and it isn’t like they wasted a bunch of time or teased a bunch of false finishes. Just get in, do what you need to do, and then get back out before things stop being interesting.

New Day comes up to AJ Styles and Omos in the back because they have an idea for game night. AJ is ready to fight Xavier Woods instead tonight but New Day doesn’t seem impressed. They’ll play some kind of a game first before we get to the title match at Wrestlemania. Kofi: “LET THE GAMES BEGIN BAY-BEE!!!”

Riddle vs. Sheamus is set for Wrestlemania.

It’s time for New Day game night, with all kinds of games set up in the ring. AJ Styles and Omos join them and we’ll start with charades. New Day manages to get A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton but AJ can’t get Omos to understand the Lion King. With that out of the way, it’s time for Pictionary (or at least something close to it). Kofi identifies a rocket ship but Omos can’t figure out the sun. Omos is sick of these games and AJ throws some of the stuff out before his match with Xavier Woods. This show is setting a new record for bad ways of building a pay per view.

A kid has paid tribute to Hulk Hogan with an impression and a big Hogan poster.

Xavier Woods vs. AJ Styles

Woods, in Mortal Kombat themed gear, shoulders AJ down to start and sends him into the corner. AJ gets knocked outside for the big flip dive from Woods, who mockingly glares at Omos as we take a break. Back with Woods hitting a backdrop and putting AJ on top but Styles drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. A fireman’s carry backbreaker gives AJ two but Woods is back with a tornado DDT for one. Woods goes to the apron but Omos grabs the leg to throw him back inside for the DQ at 7:57.

Rating: C. I know Kofi is the one who gets the glory but Woods is someone who can more than hold his own in the ring. That makes for some pretty good matches like this one, as Woods was able to do just fine against a master like Styles. It’s also nice to see Omos do something, because just standing there and glaring is only getting him so far.

Post match Kofi gets gorilla pressed over the barricade (with WWE knowing how to shoot the move to make it look all the more impressive). Woods gets planted with something like a Sky High so Omos can put his foot on Woods’ chest for a three count.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Bliss looking at a Jack in the Box. They used to be called the Devil in the Box and could only be opened once they were weakened. That is what happened to the Fiend at Wrestlemania and Randy Orton believed that the Fiend was gone forever. The Fiend was really just weakened and trapped inside Bliss’ Fiend in a Box. Now Fiend is looking forward to Wrestlemania, because the Legend Killer dies. She turns the crank on the box and a Fiend figure pops up….and the real Fiend is sitting beside her. Ok that was actually kind of creepy.

Drew McIntyre is frustrated and heads into the locker room to ask who is stepping up to take him out and get his Wrestlemania title shot. No one has stepped up and he never would have done that just a few years ago. Drew tells Braun Strowman to step up because he should be a five time World Champion (egads the horror). Strowman says he’ll take care of Shane McMahon and then come for the title when McIntyre wins it.

Humberto Carrillo doesn’t seem interested so McIntyre tells Riddle to do it. Riddle says Sheamus is a full Thanksgiving meal….so McIntyre has to deal with Carrillo. McIntyre headbutts Drew Gulak and gets in Ricochet’s face. Ricochet knows Lashley’s word means nothing but if McIntyre wants a fight, he has one. Drew can respect that and they’re on for later. Makes sense, even if this made these people seem rather lame for not being willing to go after the title.

Naomi vs. Shayna Baszler

Lana, Nia Jax and Reginald are at ringside and Mandy Rose/Dana Brooke are on commentary. Shayna starts fast and stomps on the arm as we look at Brooke and Rose some more. The Kirifuda Clutch is broken up but Reginald offers a distraction. Everyone gets into a brawl on the floor and Naomi rolls Baszler up for the pin at 2:24.

Riddle comes up to Asuka in the back to ask if they would like scooters in Japan. Riddle starts to say something else, laughs, and says he forgot his lines. He walks off and Asuka awkwardly looks into the camera. I know it’s kind of hard to tell with Riddle, but that felt a lot like the Sid promo from the 90s where he forgot it was live.

It’s time for the contract signing for the Women’s Title match. Rhea Ripley and Asuka both come to the ring, with Ripley saying that Asuka is soon to be the former champion. Rhea signs and so does Asuka, who talks about Rhea having too much confidence. The table is turned over and smashed into Asuka’s head….and here are Shayna Baszler, Nia Jax and Reginald.

They can’t believe Ripley is here to get the title shot after Baszler has dominated the two of them already. Where is their Wrestlemania match? Baszler wants to fight Rhea right now but Jax proposes a tag match for next week, which Rhea accepts. So yes, now Jax and Baszler are going to drag down ANOTHER Women’s Title feud for Wrestlemania, because just one wasn’t enough.

MVP comes up to Ricochet and is happy that Ricochet is taking things seriously. Ricochet doesn’t want to hear it and heads to the ring.

Great Khali and Rob Van Dam are going into the Hall of Fame. This year’s class is pretty awesome.

Ricochet vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre wastes no time in LAUNCHING Ricochet for a backdrop and then sends him flying off a belly to belly. Ricochet gets in a shot to the face though and sends McIntyre outside, only to be pulled to the floor for a shot to the face. A whip into the steps is countered with a jump onto the barricade, where Ricochet walks across and hits a dropkick on the floor. Back in and 630 misses, allowing McIntyre to hit the Claymore for the pin at 2:41.

Post match here’s Mustafa Ali (who seems to have shaved a bit) to go after McIntyre’s knee. McIntyre sends him outside and we have another match.

Mustafa Ali vs. Drew McIntyre

Joined in progress with Ali staying on the leg and kicking it out to the apron. McIntyre’s chop doesn’t get him very far as Ali knocks him down to go after the knee again. A top rope splash to the leg gets two but McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly. There’s another one but McIntyre is slow to follow up. A third suplex sets up a Glasgow Kiss into the Claymore for the pin at 3:42 shown.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than the previous one, though watching McIntyre run through people who could be in an interesting place on this show is a little rough. That being said, McIntyre and Lashley being built up as monsters is a good way to go and we could be in for a heck of a match at Wrestlemania as a result.

Post match McIntyre calls out Lashley and, after we cut to a nervous looking MVP, here he is. Post break, McIntyre says he didn’t even notice MVP behind him and now it is time to fight. The brawl is on with Lashley being knocked to the floor. Cue King Corbin to jump McIntyre from behind and lay him out until McIntyre manages a belly to belly. The Claymore is countered into Deep Six, allowing Lashley to put on the Hurt Lock. Lashley does it two more times to really hammer the point home and leave McIntyre laying.

Overall Rating: D+. Lashley and McIntyre did everything they could to save this but they could only do so much. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show that did so little to make me want to see a pay per view. This was every bad WWE booking trope (split up a perfectly good/rather good team, beat the champ to set up rematch, distraction finish, set up matches on the fly, a lot of Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler and a King Corbin appearance to set up a match either this week or next) with very little to make me want to watch. It felt like total autopilot for most of the show and that’s really bad at this time of the year.

Results

Sheamus b. Riddle – Jumping knee

Braun Strowman b. Jaxson Ryker – Running powerslam

Bobby Lashley b. Shelton Benjamin – Hurt Lock

Xavier Woods b. AJ Styles via DQ when Omos interfered

Naomi b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup

Drew McIntyre b. Ricochet – Claymore

Drew McIntyre b. Mustafa Ali – Claymore