Wrestlemania XXV
Date: April 5, 2009
Location: Reliant Stadium, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 72,744
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Unified Tag Team Titles: Primo and Carlito vs. The Miz/John Morrison

Some dropkicks have Miz and Morrison in trouble and everything breaks down. Miz and Carlito head outside, leaving Morrison to roll through a high cross body for two of his own. Back up and Morrison loads up a reverse suplex but Primo catches him in a Backstabber on the way down for the pin and both titles at 8:21.

The opening video has a bunch of people talking about their Wrestlemania moments for the big anniversary show. As usual, this turns into a discussion of their matches tonight and how they all want to steal the show.

We see the crowd for the first time. The ring looks like a drop of water in the middle.

Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls sings America the Beautiful.

CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Finlay vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Kane

Christian breaks that up and stands on the bridged ladder for a Killswitch (new name for the Unprettier) to take Punk down (mostly botched as Christian fell first but it must be terrifying up there). To make things even worse, another ladder is set up on the floor next to the bridged ladder, giving us a three ladder structure.

Video on Axxess and Wrestlemania week in Houston.

Divas Battle Royal

Alicia Fox, Beth Phoenix, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Jackie Gayda, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria Kanellis, Maryse, Melina, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Nikki Bella, Rosa Mendes, Santina Marella, Sunny, Terri Runnels, Tiffany, Torrie Wilson, Victoria

Santina introduces herself and the fans chant for Santino. Candice Michelle gives him a sash and crown as Beth is livid. Santina dances to make it even worse.

Chris Jericho vs. Ricky Steamboat/Jimmy Snuka/Roddy Piper

This was originally a gauntlet match but has been changed into an elimination match instead. Mickey Rourke is at ringside. At this point, Steamboat is 56 and last wrestled in 1994, Snuka is 65 and Piper is 12 days away from turning 55 (though considering he was diagnosed with Lymphoma just two years before this, he looks great). Flair comes out with them and oh sweet goodness he is WASTED.

We recap the Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy. Jeff won the Smackdown World Title at Armageddon 2008 and was defending at Royal Rumble 2009 but Matt turned on his brother. It was then revealed that Matt was behind an attack on Jeff in a stairwell back in November, trying to run Jeff and his girlfriend off the road, burning him with fireworks and BURNING HIS HOUSE DOWN AND KILLING HIS DOG. Now in the real world, the attempted murder and arson would probably result in Matt going to jail (especially with a confession on film), but why do that when you can have an extreme rules match?

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Extreme rules. Jeff takes him down to start and hammers away before taking it to the floor for a framed Wrestlemania poster to the face. Poetry in Motion against the barricade has Matt in even more trouble. Back in and a Poetry in Motion misses in the corner, allowing Matt time to knock Jeff out of the air with a chair to the knee. Well at least someone is trying to be violent here.

Randy Orton stares off into the distance.

Intercontinental Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

The story, the build, the execution and the selling during the match made this work so perfectly. It came off like two warriors who gave everything they had for one last shot but only one of them could pull it off. On top of that you had some of the best near falls of all time with the fans eating up every single bit of it as fast as they could have. Outstanding match here and an all time great.

Vickie is wheeled to ringside.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Big Show vs. John Cena

Show crotches Edge on the top rope and superkicks Cena to break up an AA (Attitude Adjustment instead of FU now) attempt on the champ. The big man misses a running boot though and Edge dropkicks the steps into his knees. Cena adds a dangerous top rope Fameasser to the floor to take Show down again, leaving us with Cena vs. Edge in the ring. Edge gets crotched on the top as Vickie is freaking out on the floor.

Hall of Fame time with Steve Austin as the headliner, giving us a rare glimpse of him in a suit.

Wrestlemania XXVI is in Phoenix.

HHH runs into Vince and Shane on the way to the ring. Nothing is said.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH stands over him as the great conqueror.

The highlight package returns after a one year hiatus.

Now that being said, this show is much better than what a lot of people remember it as. That main event is indeed horrible, but Shawn vs. Undertaker balances it out with room to spare. Unfortunately, people remember Orton vs. HHH and the Kid Rock performance more than they remember the other good stuff on the show.

Ratings Comparison

Finlay vs. Christian vs. CM Punk vs. Mark Henry vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP vs. Kane

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B

Divas Battle Royal

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: F-

Roddy Piper/Jimmy Snuka/Ricky Steamboat vs. Chris Jericho

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: C

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: D+

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2015 Redo: A+

John Cena vs. Edge vs. Big Show

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: B-

Randy Orton vs. HHH

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D

2015 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

2013 Redo: B-

2015 Redo: C-

I might have been trying to make up for lost ratings.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/04/01/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-25-oh-dear-oh-dear-indeed/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxv-the-difference-between-live-and-later/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXIV
Date: March 30, 2008
Location: Citrus Bowl, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 74,365
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

So this was going to be Wrestlemania XXX but then I remembered I did that show last year so I picked one I remember being a lot of fun. It’s from one of the forgotten periods of the company’s history as things were mostly good, but this era really runs together for me. This show is well received and kind of a hidden gem though so let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Battle Royal

Jim Duggan, Shannon Moore, Jimmy Wang Yang, Val Venis, Cody Rhodes, Hardcore Holly, Jesse, Festus, Stevie Richards, Jamie Noble, Tommy Dreamer, Kofi Kingston, Brian Kendrick, Kane, Great Khali, Miz, Mark Henry, Deuce, Domino, Elijah Burke, Lance Cade, Trevor Murdoch, Chuck Palumbo, Snitsky

This show is so old it pre-dates Kickoff Shows. This is your usual get everyone on the card match, which would go completely off the rails years later. There is actually a prize as the winner gets an ECW Title shot later tonight. The brawl is on to start (as it should be) with Festus (Luke Gallows) throwing out Deuce N Domino without much trouble. Khali gets rid of Duggan (to a lot of booing) and Burke knocks out Richards.

Burke makes the eternal mistake of celebrating too much though and gets shoved out by Kane. You would think people would learn at some point. It’s Miz out next and the announcers talk about how cool it would be for young Kofi Kingston to get a title shot at Wrestlemania. Henry eliminates Moore and Yang and it’s Jesse following them out.

Festus is put out, meaning I don’t have to get him confused with Snitsky anymore. Kofi gets rid of Cade and Kendrick as the ring is clearing out a lot. Henry tosses Kofi onto the pile and Palumbo (He made it to 2008?) kicks Noble out. Actually Noble hangs on so Palumbo throws him out again, though this time Noble climbs onto the pile and stays on. I’m sure Kofi Kingston was watching that one.

Not that it matters as Khali gets rid of Noble and Palumbo but everyone gangs up to get rid of Khali. Snitsky gets rid of Holly and we’re down to Kane, Snitsky and Henry, meaning there were quite a few eliminations off camera. Henry eliminates Snitsky and we’re down to two. Kane has to escape a gorilla press and a big boot gets rid of Henry to give Kane the win.

Rating: D. They got in, they did their thing, they had the right winner and they got out in less than seven minutes. It’s not a good match or anything more than what it was supposed to be and that’s fine. Believe it or not you don’t need three matches before the show starts to warm the fans up. Something like this is a perfect choice and it worked just fine.

We get the big airplane flyover, which will nearly knock you off your feet in person.

John Legend sings America the Beautiful.

The opening video features wrestlers talking about how big Wrestlemania is and how much they want to steal the show. Remember when wrestling was about how you didn’t like someone or wanted the title and not to just get on a show or steal said show? It shifts into a talk about everything that can happen in a year, including title changes, injuries, or your boss saying your career was over the next time you lost. Tonight, everyone is going to steal the show.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

This is a Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. It’s also part of a VERY long and complicated story as Vince McMahon was told that Hornswoggle was his son, which didn’t sit well with Finlay. JBL beat Hornswoggle up one night until it was eventually revealed that Finlay was really Hornswoggle’s dad. This is Finlay’s chance for revenge. Hornswoggle is here with Finlay because….well why wouldn’t he be?

Some forearms knock Finlay off the apron to start but he whips JBL into the steps and takes it inside for the opening bell. Finlay throws in the standard assortment of weapons, with JBL getting in a trashcan to the head. The alternating trashcan lid/cookie sheet shots to the head keep Finlay in trouble and it’s time for some steps. The piledriver onto said steps is blocked and this time it’s JBL taking the metal sheet shots. Hornswoggle comes in for a kendo stick shot, allowing Finlay to grab the club for a few swings to the jaw.

Since Finlay would rather have revenge (makes sense), he puts a trashcan on JBL’s face and grabs a table. You know, because we need tables. JBL gets back up so it’s a hard clothesline to knock him right back down. Since Finlay isn’t working so well for him, JBL goes outside and slaps Hornswoggle around, earning himself a beating from Finlay.

For some reason Finlay tries a suicide dive, which is knocked out of the air with a trashcan lid shot. JBL PELTS a trashcan at Hornswoggle but the Clothesline is broken up with another can. There’s the Regal Roll and JBL gets thrown through the table in the corner for two. Finlay takes a little too long picking up the steps though and gets them sent into his head. The Clothesline From JBL is good for the pin at 8:37.

Rating: C+. This was a perfectly watchable brawl and that’s all it needed to be. There was no need to put this on later in the night either as JBL winning was a bit deflating and you don’t want to kill the crowd off later in the show. Get it out of the way and let the fans have a fun garbage match. Smart opener and a good little warmup.

We go to host Kim Kardashian (just go with it) for an explanation about Money in the Bank. Mr. Kennedy comes in and gets in her face, which I’m sure is completely beneath her stellar career.

John Morrison vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. MVP

Money in the Bank with Kennedy technically defending, though that’s not really a thing in a match like this. Morrison is a Smackdown Tag Team Champion (with Miz), Shelton is in his awful Gold Rush period, MVP is US Champion and Jericho is Intercontinental Champion because of course he is.

Everyone but MVP goes to the floor for an early ladder with MVP being smart enough for one to be thrown in and then kick Morrison off the apron. MVP picks up the ladder and starts using it as a weapon but Jericho brings in his own and knocks MVP’s away. Morrison throws a smaller ladder at Jericho’s before taking it up top for a moonsault with the ladder to the floor. It’s rather early for something that insane but it looked great. Everyone but Jericho is down on the floor until Kennedy runs back in and sets a ladder up.

That’s broken up by Jericho, who for some reason catapults Kennedy onto the ladder so Morrison has to ride a ladder out of the corner to get up top for a save. Benjamin is back in with his own ladder and it’s a superplex from Kennedy to Morrison with Benjamin adding a sunset bomb for your second crazy spot of the match. Carlito shoves Shelton’s ladder over….so Shelton lands on the top rope and jumps right back, though the ladder breaks. Punk goes up with Kennedy making another save so Punk gives Shelton a GTS.

Carlito cleans house next and crushes MVP’s leg in a ladder. That earns Carlito a Dragon Whip so Shelton can climb but Carlito and Kennedy turn the ladder over, sending Shelton down through a ladder bridged between the apron and the ring. The stunned looks on Carlito and Kennedy’s faces make up for the clearly wooden ladder being broken. MVP shoves Kennedy, Carlito and Jericho down and it’s Morrison going up, with Jericho being right there for the Walls on top of the ladder (that always looks cool).

Jericho has to let go to stop Kennedy though, allowing Punk and Carlito to springboard in from either side. Punk and Kennedy go down so Carlito hits the Backstabber off the ladder to bring Jericho down. JR: “A WRESTLEMANIA BACKSTABBER!” MVP is all alone so he goes up, only to have Matt Hardy run in as a surprise for a Twist of Fate off the ladder. Jericho gets back up and knocks Morrison into the corner where he interlocks two ladders upside down into a V shape.

Carlito gets sent into one side, meaning a ladder is instantly stood up. Morrison climbs up but gets it shoved back down, crotching Morrison on the top with Punk taking a ladder to the head. Jericho climbs up and gets Carlito’s apple spit in his face. Kennedy shoves Carlito into a ladder in the corner with Punk making another save. There’s a Codebreaker with a ladder to Punk, who is up fast enough to shove Jericho off the ladder and pull down the briefcase for the win at 13:54.

Rating: A-. They didn’t go with drama here and instead went with the wild series of spots, one after another. One very smart thing they did here was to get rid of someone so they only had six. That seems to be the magic number for these things and it worked well here. Punk winning the briefcase was the smart move as he’s hot at the moment and someone who could use this as a springboard to the main event scene. Heck of a match and the spectacle that belongs on Wrestlemania.

Video on the Hall of Fame ceremony. This is way better than having everyone come out and get a big presentation. If nothing else for the sake of time.

Here’s Howard Finkel to introduce the Hall of Fame class:

Jack and Gerry Brisco (Jack should have been in years ago)

Gordon Solie (perfect choice in Florida)

Rocky Johnson

Peter Maivia

Eddie Graham (represented by Mike Graham, who probably invented Wrestlemania)

Mae Young (who has to be kept from stripping)

Ric Flair (Charlotte has short hair here and it’s REALLY weird to see her like that)

And yes, there were just seven inductees and no one lame. It’s like this can be well done without any jokes.

Snoop Dogg, the emcee of the Playboy match tonight, is a big Festus fan. Santino Marella comes in to interrupt and doesn’t like the idea of the Playboy match. Snoop rings a bell and sends Festus running after Santino. Mick Foley shows up and apparently is cool with Snoop.

Batista vs. Umaga

Smackdown vs. Raw with Teddy Long and William Regal (show bosses) at ringside. No story here other than a battle of brand supremacy and a few brawls. Some right hands to the head have little effect on Umaga so Batista shoulders him out to the floor for some more success. Back in and Umaga goes kind of aerial with a spinwheel kick and Batista is knocked outside this time. Some hard whips into the corner have Batista in trouble and an uppercut makes things worse.

The nerve hold goes on as the fans certainly seem to approve of Umaga. The middle rope headbutt misses but Batista’s back gives out on a slam attempt. We’re right back to the nerve hold before a Samoan drop gets two. Batista fights back with right hands and is loudly booed. He’s fine enough to block the Samoan Spike and Umaga’s charge goes into the post. The spinebuster sets up a Batista Bomb (with Batista falling down) for the pin at 7:07.

Rating: D. Well that certainly clears up which show is better. This was a lame power match that didn’t get much time, which might be the best solution in this case. Batista was in need of a freshening up at this point and Umaga was just the resident monster. It’s this year’s version of “get them on the show somehow” and they didn’t exactly click.

Tale of the Tape for Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Big Show.

ECW Title: Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

ECW GM Armando Alejandro Estrada handles the introductions. Kane won a battle royal on the pre-show to earn this shot and comes in from the crowd to win here with a chokeslam in twelve seconds. Exactly what it needed to be, but please tell me Joey Styles and Tazz didn’t have to sit at ringside for everything before or after this match.

And now, Maria and Carlito with an ad about…..Wrestlemania?

Raven Symone is here because of a disabled kids’ charity.

We recap Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels with Flair’s career on the line. Late last year, Vince McMahon decided that Flair would have to retire the next time he lost (partially because Vince is Vince and partially because Flair said that he would never retire). Flair went on a long winning streak but asked to face Shawn at Wrestlemania. Shawn made it clear that he didn’t want to finish Flair’s career but would do what he had to do, even if it meant putting Flair down like Old Yeller. There was little hiding the fact that this was going to be Flair’s last match, but it was his chance to go out with one more classic.

Ric’s plan for tonight: to be the man.

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Flair has the blue robe one more time and while I’m still a fan of the black and white one, I can’t help but smile at seeing the classic look again. Shawn shoulders him down to start and it’s clear that they’re going to have all the time they want here. They trade some hammerlocks with Shawn getting the better of it on the mat. That’s broken up as well and we get the first WOO.

The chops in the corner let Flair yell about Old Yeller but Shawn slaps him in the face and asks if that’s all he has. An exchange of chops in the corner goes to Flair (as it should) but Shawn elbows him in the jaw and goes up. This time Flair slams him off the top and goes up…..for a crossbody into a near fall! You would think that would get more of a reaction but he has to fail at an early Figure Four attempt.

Shawn kicks him to the floor and tries an Asai moonsault, which only hits the announcers’ table, with his ribs landing on the edge which doesn’t break (I’ve seen that many times and it draws a very real cringe). That’s only good for a nine count and Shawn can barely move because of the ribs. A belly to back suplex gives Flair two and he manages a delayed vertical for the same. Note: Charles Robinson (Little Naitch) is referee here and for some reason he’s in a Smackdown shirt. Yeah he’s a Smackdown referee, but you can’t just throw him in a Raw shirt for the occasion?

Flair’s neckbreaker gets two more but Shawn sends him outside. That means a moonsault to the floor which takes Flair out and bangs up the ribs even more. They chop it out back inside and it’s Shawn’s forearm into the nipup as the pace picks up a bit. A slam drops Flair and Shawn’s top rope elbow connects, meaning it’s time to Tune of the Band. Shawn can’t bring himself to do it though and Flair grabs the legs and slaps on the Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

The hold is turned over and they load up the bridge into the backslide….but Flair just can’t do it anymore so they go into a rollup instead. It’s time for the chop block and NOW the Figure Four is on for real. Shawn crawls to the rope so Flair stomps away some more until the referee drags him away. That’s enough of a delay for Shawn to hit Sweet Chin Music for a very close two and the fans go nuts on the kickout.

Shawn loads it up again but stops to tell Flair to get up. That means a low blow (again, you knew he was getting that in somehow) for two more and the fans really bought the near fall. To mix things up a bit, Shawn sweeps the legs and tries a reverse Figure Four (thank goodness it wasn’t a Sharpshooter) to send Flair bailing to the ropes this time.

A rollup with tights gets two and they chop it out from their knees. The chops bring them to their feet and Shawn hits another superkick to put Flair down. There’s no cover though as Shawn goes into the corner and Flair slowly gets up. Shawn says the now legendary I’m Sorry, I Love You and superkicks Flair one more time, this time for the pin at 20:34.

Rating: B+. I don’t remember truly liking this one before and that’s because there are different ways to look at it. It’s hard not to look at a match like this through the emotional lens but if you take that away (which you kind of have to given that Flair wound up wrestling again), it’s actually a heck of a match with all of the old Flair tropes thrown in. Those worked for so long because it’s a great formula that can work against anyone. When you add in Shawn’s second to none abilities, there was no way this wouldn’t be outstanding.

The problem though is that Flair just can’t do a lot of this stuff anymore. He’s trying as hard as he can and what he could still do was good, but seeing him not be able to bridge up anymore was rather sad because it’s something he’s done for so many years before. I don’t remember liking this match that much but it really is a strong one, even ignoring all the other things added to it.

Post match Shawn leaves the ring and a crying Flair gets to his feet for one of the best standing ovations you’ll ever see. This is more than deserved and while he should have retired a long time ago (you could argue all the way back in the 90s), he was far from embarrassing himself and someone as influential, successful and downright talented as he was should absolutely get this kind of a sendoff. And for those who are wondering why, this was originally going to close the show but Flair refused and insisted it go in the middle.

Smackdown World Champion Edge talks about sitting in the crowd at Wrestlemania VI as the biggest Hulkamaniac in Canada. Then Hulk Hogan lost, and Edge lost his innocence with it. Undertaker has been the conscience of WWE for years but tonight Edge is bringing a cold hard dose of reality to the fans. There’s probably a kid in the audience who believes that anything can happen, even 16-0. Tonight, Edge is taking that kid’s innocence and walking out as the new Phenom and still World Heavyweight Champion.

Pyro signals the start of the second half of the show.

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley Massaro

This is the Playboy match with the rest of the women’s division as lumberjacks. Snoop Dogg is the master of ceremonies and of course he comes to the ring in a leopard print Mercedes golf cart. Snoop handles the introductions, but first throws in a couple of WOO’s in Flair’s honor. Santino is here with Beth and Melina as he doesn’t like Maria posing.

Ashley hurricanranas Beth to start and the fans are rather quiet. Some double teaming has Beth in more trouble but it’s off to Melina, who gets kneed by Maria. A lot of spinning around and screaming sets up a Bronco Buster (without the running start) to Melina. Ashley hits a middle rope X Factor but gets sent outside for a beating from the lumberjacks. We settle down to a bearhug from Beth before she puts Melina in an electric chair and flips her backwards into a moonsault.

Ashley kicks out at two and Maria dives in for the save a full second later, making things look even worse. And then the lights go out because everyone is sick of this match. A spotlight lets us see Maria kicking Beth in the head and reversing the Glam Slam into a bulldog for two. Everything breaks down and Maria dives onto Beth for two with Santino making the save. That brings Lawler to his feet to knock Santino down, leaving Beth to hit a fisherman’s buster to pin Maria at 5:59.

Rating: D-. Yeah what else were you expecting here? The wrestling was terrible and the villains had to tone it WAY down for this not to be a disaster. The fans didn’t care and they couldn’t even see parts of the match, though I don’t think they particularly cared. It just wasn’t good but it served its purposes of eye candy and a breather from the emotional moment.

Post match Santino poses with Melina and Beth but gets laid out by Snoop.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Randy Orton is champion, HHH is feuding with him for the title, and John Cena, who never lost the title, won the Royal Rumble in a shocking return after being stripped of the title due to injury.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending. Cena’s big introduction this year is via a high school marching band, which is a pretty cool idea. After Cena’s entrance, we get a poll on who will win with Cena getting 52% and Orton finishing dead last at 8%. HHH gets a regular entrance, though it includes one of my favorite Wrestlemania shots: the closeup and the camera swinging around to show the sheer size of the stadium with all the people. Orton belts HHH in the face to start so Cena bulldogs the champ and grabs a release fisherman’s suplex.

A pair of clotheslines leave Orton as the only one on his feet so he grabs a hanging DDT to both of them at once for another pair of twos. The RKO to Cena is countered with Orton being knocked onto HHH and it’s a top rope Fameasser to the champ. It’s too early for the STFU (yes U) though as Orton bails to the floor and posts Cena to take over again. That’s enough for HHH to start in on Orton’s leg but he has to deal with Cena, allowing Orton to nail a quick RKO.

Cena is back up with the STFU and Orton has the hand up to tap, only to have HHH guide the hand down onto the rope instead. HHH sends Cena into the steps and continues the torture of Orton continues with an Indian Deathlock. Cena makes the save and sends HHH outside this time, setting up another STFU on Orton.

Back in and HHH can’t pull Cena off of Orton so he puts Cena in a Crossface for the break instead. That’s broken up as well and it’s a big time slugout between HHH and Cena. HHH walks into the flying shoulder and the Shuffle but the STFU is kicked away. The spinebuster plants Cena and HHH cuts Orton off before hitting the Pedigree on Cena….but Orton Punts HHH and pins Cena to retain at 14:09.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two matches with HHH and Cena having a Wrestlemania match and Orton running in and out as much as he could to mess with things. Orton just does not feel like he’s on this level (which has often been the case) and it was the case again here.

You could feel the crowd deflate when he won the match, which makes sense as a heel and it does make him feel more definitive as a champion, but it came off like we were waiting on some big moment and instead got Orton. Again. These title matches and reigns completely run together over the years and this is just another (good) match in a very long series.

Big Show vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr.

Big Show returned at No Way Out after over a year off. Mayweather was at No Way Out as well and came over the barricade to hit some crazy fast punches to a kneeling Show, one of which broke his nose. Now we’re having the freakshow match, which could be highly entertaining. However, with that out of the way, eleven years after the angle, I still have no earthly idea who I’m supposed to cheer for. Is it the wrestler? Is is the loudmouthed guy who is in way over his head from a physical standpoint? Is it the guy who was attacked and wants revenge? Is it the guy who is one of the best fighters of all time? Why is this so complicated?

Anything goes here and you can win by pinfall, submission or knockout. Money rains down for Mayweather’s entrance and he has seven people with him. Mayweather is smart enough to dodge around to start and he peppers Show with some fast shows to the ribs. A right to the jaw makes Show mad and Mayweather punches him a few more times to make it even worse. Hang on though as we need to stop so Mayweather can have a drink from…..a jewel chalice?

Show beats on the entourage as the smoke and mirrors begin. Mayweather looks on as Show chops a bodyguard and starts dancing around again. A right hand is caught and Mayweather slips away before Show can stomp on it. Show sits him on top but that just lets Mayweather get in a much better right hand, setting up the required sleeper/choke on the back. Show finally realizes that Mayweather is the size of a teenager and throws him off, setting up the stomp on the hand. Mayweather’s manager: “YOU CAN’T BE DOING THAT!”

Mayweather takes the SHH chop in the corner and the pain is intense. Apparently Show can’t do that either and a side slam (which brings the fans to their feet) probably isn’t approved either. Show legdrops the arm and stands on the stomach and it’s time for the entourage to pull Mayweather out, saying they’re done because this isn’t what they signed up for.

They head back to the ring where one of the bodyguards chairs Show in the back. Mayweather gets in a few more shots and a low blow, followed by more chair shots to the head. One of the gloves comes off and Mayweather steals some brass knuckles from the down handler for the knockout win at 11:34.

Rating: B. Yeah this is still a blast. Confusing as I have no idea who to cheer for (seriously, try to figure that out), but it’s so much fun with all the wackiness that only makes sense in wrestling. Mayweather would be a much bigger heel today (and someone that WWE couldn’t afford) but what we got here was all kinds of entertaining and one of the most fun things on the show.

Wrestlemania ad, featuring Batista.

Kim Kardashian announces the attendance and sounds miserable again.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. The video starts with a look at the Streak, which morphs into a video of Edge costing Undertaker the title multiple times, including by cashing in Money in the Bank. Edge is going to make it 15-1 and it turns into the standard “I’ll break the Streak/the Streak will live on” video. In other words, another well done package.

Smackdown World Title: Undertaker vs. Edge

Undertaker is challenging and we’ve got druids with torches. Teddy Long wheels out Edge’s fiance Vickie Guerrero, who kisses him for luck in a story that felt like it would never die. Some early clotheslines put Edge on the floor and Undertaker gets in his Stunner over the top rope. The jumping clothesline (more like a shove here) gets two and it’s time for Old School, with Edge pulling him down, only to have Undertaker armdrag Edge down instead. I’ve never seen that otherwise and it’s rather out of place for Undertaker.

Edge avoids a charge though and Undertaker goes outside, with Edge knocking him into the barricade for a bonus. A swinging neckbreaker across the top rope has Undertaker in more trouble and a running shoulder in the corner makes it even worse. Edge goes up and gets knocked off the top, setting up a Taker Dive that doesn’t get as much of a reaction as you would expect.

There’s the apron legdrop (Coach calls it a dropkick) but Undertaker’s back is bothering him. It’s bad enough that he can’t hit the Last Ride, allowing Edge to boot him back to the floor. Back in and it’s a half crab to work on the weakened back, followed by Edge laying next to Undertaker and pulling on both legs at once. A rope is grabbed and that means it’s time to slug it out, which you don’t do against undertaker. Snake Eyes connects but the big boot is cut off by a dropkick for another near fall.

The Tombstone is broken up and the Edge-O-Matic drops Undertaker. He’s fine enough to pop back up and FINALLY connect with Old School but Undertaker kicks the referee down by mistake. That means a spear to put Undertaker down but, like many great ones before him, Edge takes too long running his mouth and gets grabbed by the throat. Unlike many other great ones before him, Edge gets in a low blow and steals a camera (which he used at Survivor Series).

The running shot to the head connects but the referee falls to the floor. The camera cuts away from the situp for no apparent reason, followed by the Tombstone to Edge. Charles Robinson sprints down the crazy long ramp to count two after a funny sprint. Cue the Edgeheads (Zack Ryder/Curt Hawkins) for a distraction but Undertaker gets rid of them, only to walk into a spear for two. The second spear connects but this time Undertaker pulls him into Hell’s Gate for the tap at 23:49.

Rating: A-. This is a forgotten classic that almost never gets the respect it deserves. Edge having all of the counters and making you believe that he could have just enough tricks up his sleeves to pull off the upset was a great story and the action more than lived up to the hype. This match never gets old, but it also never gets remembered, which is quite the shame as it’s awesome.

Undertaker poses and the long highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: A. Why don’t more people talk about this one? The only two bad matches are Batista vs. Umaga and the women’s tag and those don’t even combine for fifteen minutes. This is another well paced show (clocking in at less than three hours and fifty minutes) with one great match after another. I always have a good time with this one and if you tweak it just a bit, it’s on the all time list. Excellent show and worth another look if you haven’t checked it out lately.

Ratings Comparison

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Finlay

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: C+

Shelton Benjamin vs. CM Punk vs. Carlito vs. Chris Jericho vs. MVP vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. John Morrison

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: A-

Batista vs. Umaga

Original: F+

2013 Redo: D-

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2015 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Ric Flair vs. Shawn Michaels

Original: A

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B-

2019 Redo: B+

Beth Phoenix/Melina vs. Maria/Ashley

Original: F

2013 Redo: F+

2015 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D

John Cena vs. HHH vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Floyd Mayweather vs. Big Show

Original: D-

2013 Redo: C+

2015 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

2013 Redo: A

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: C-

2013 Redo: A-

2015 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A

Was I just in a really good mood or something this time?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/31/583/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/04/02/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-the-underrated-classic/

And the 2015 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/04/03/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-xxiv-2015-redo-one-woo-for-the-road/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Wrestlemania XXIII
Date: April 1, 2007
Location: Ford Field, Detroit, Michigan
Attendance: 80,103
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles

It’s the biggest night of the year and this time the show does indeed feel big. You can feel how things have been going strong on the way here and I want to see how it goes. That takes some work when I have already seen the show multiple times. It is a stacked card and the biggest is Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga in the Battle of the Billionaires, which is really Donald Trump vs. Vince McMahon. Let’s get to it.

Before we get to the show, let’s do the pre-show match for a bonus.

Pre-Show: Ric Flair/Carlito vs. Gregory Helms/Chavo Guerrero

This is a lumberjack match to get more people in front of the crowd. The entrance is a little weird here as there is a huge curtain in front of the set, which does make this feel like a bonus. Flair and Helms start things off with Helms taking him into the corner for a slap to the face. A hiptoss into some chops slow Helms down and it’s Carlito coming in to knee lift Chavo.

Carlito dropkicks Chavo off the apron to little avail but Helms kicks Carlito off the apron to take over. Back in and Chavo belly to back suplexes him into a chinlock but Carlito fights up in a hurry. The hot tag brings in Flair to clean house as everything breaks down. Helms breaks up the Figure Four but Chavo misses the frog splash. Guerrero is back up and tries the Three Amigos but Carlito escapes and hits the Backstabber for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing but a standard Raw match here (if you ignore the Smackdown wrestlers involved) and that is perfectly fine for the spot they were in. This was about warming the crowd up and having Flair out there is going to do that just fine. Sometimes you need someone to set the stage for later and these four did it just fine in a very simple tag match.

The opening video looks at a history of the show, including some major moments. We also get a special look at Wrestlemania III, with the famous Vince McMahon introduction swinging into this year’s America the Beautiful, once again sung by Aretha Franklin.

We go to the regular opening video, featuring a bunch of wrestlers talking about how they have always dreamed of being here as children. Now they are all grown up and it is time to take the stage themselves. This campaign has grown on me a lot over the years and I like it a good bit more than I used to.

Edge vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy vs. CM Punk vs. King Booker vs. Finlay vs. Randy Orton vs. Mr. Kennedy

Money in the Bank as they’re starting big this year. Everyone looks up at the briefcase to start and then it’s already time to head outside for the fight. It’s a brawl to start and Finlay dives off the top onto almost everyone else. Matt has to cut off Edge’s climb, leaving Orton and Finlay to climb the ladder to no avail. Booker goes to pull out another ladder but finds Hornswoggle’s stepladder instead, allowing Punk to knock him down.

Edge bridges a ladder between the apron and the barricade but Booker starts cleaning house. There’s the Spanarooni, only to have the Hardys run Booker over with ladders. For some reason Finlay saves Edge from the see saw ladder treatment and Edge suplexes Matt onto the ladder. Kennedy’s Kenton Bomb onto hits ladder (with Kennedy landing HARD on the back of his head) and it’s a Hardy slugout on top of the ladder.

Finlay breaks that up but gets speared down by Edge. More spears drop just about everyone else but Punk wraps the ladder around his head to knock out various people. Edge slides in the big ladder and climbs, at least until Orton shoves him over the top and out to the floor. Matt lays Edge over the bridged ladder and Jeff dives onto him, breaking the ladder to get rid of both of them. Both guys are taken out on stretchers and we’re down to a six way.

Now it’s time for the parade of RKOs and Orton climbs, despite not being underneath the briefcase. Punk breaks that up and climbs as well, only to get taken down with a super RKO for the huge spot. Booker grabs the Book End and goes up but Matt is there to catch him. Cue Queen Sharmell to grab Matt’s leg but Booker gets distracted by Matt and walks into the Twist of Fate.

Finlay gives Matt a Celtic Cross onto the ladder, busting himself open in the process. Now it’s Hornswoggle going up the ladder until Kennedy catches him for a super Regal Roll off the ladder. Punk dropkicks the ladder down to cut Finlay off and it’s Punk vs. Kennedy on top of the ladder. Kennedy gets knocked down but comes back up and kicks Punk down, allowing him to grab the briefcase for the win.

Rating: B. I never know how to rate these things but it was another blast with everyone flying around and having one crash after another. This was a lot of fun and one of the right people won, which is what matters the most in a match like Money in the Bank. Everyone got a chance to shine here, even in a complete car crash match like this one. Rather fun opener.

We look at the premiere of the Condemned. It wasn’t that good.

Mr. Kennedy congratulates himself and says any champion needs to have eyes in the back of his head because he’s coming with the briefcase.

Batista is All Grown Up.

Great Khali vs. Kane

Interpromotional battle of the monsters, though Kane doesn’t even have his big hook here. Khali shoves him down to start and adds a shoulder to drop Kane again. There’s a clothesline to set up a slam as it’s all Khali so far. The nerve hold doesn’t last long so Khali starts stomping away in the corner as JR gets in the bowling shoe line. Kane is back with some right hands and the top rope clothesline, which doesn’t knock Khali down.

Instead, Kane knocks him into the ropes for the tie up and NOW it’s time for the big hook. That takes too long though and the slugout is on with Khali getting the better of things. Khali rips the turnbuckle pad off but Kane gets in a low blow into the slam (for the Hogan/Andre callback). It’s just a slam though so Khali is back up with the double chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. What else were you expecting here? They had five minutes and the whole thing was about making Khali look like a monster. The hook never meant anything (as it would have killed Khali) but the slam was a cool moment. Sometimes you need a bit of a cool down match and that’s what you got here after the crazy opener.

The Divas are All Grown Up.

Cryme Tyme try to cheer Eugene up so here is Extreme Expose for the dancing. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young come up in the same outfits to dance but Slick (get him in the Hall of Fame already) comes in to show them up. Dusty Rhodes, IRS, Jimmy Hart, Gerald Brisco (in a suit of course) and finally Ricky Steamboat come in. Say it with me: Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

US Title: MVP vs. Chris Benoit

MVP is challenging and has his own cheerleaders for some Wrestlemania flavor. Benoit drives him into the corner to start and grabs a headscissors on the mat. That’s reversed into a headlock as they’re going technical early on. MVP has to block the German suplex and the Crossface but Benoit sends him outside. Back in and MVP has to go to the rope to break up another Crossface attempt, which has Cole impressed. With the holds not working, Benoit chops him into the corner and loads MVP up on top, only to get knocked back down.

MVP starts in on the arm, including with some kicks and driving shoulders. The confidence gets a bit too high though as Benoit snaps off the rolling German suplex. It’s too early for the Swan Dive though and MVP catches him on top with a superplex. MVP stays on the shoulder by sending it into the post and a belly to back suplex onto the arm gets two. We hit the armbar for a bit but Benoit pops up and snaps on the Crossface. The bar arm gives out though and MVP plants him with a slam. Ballin gets two but the running boot misses in the corner. Benoit rolls more German suplexes and the Swan Dive retains the title clean.

Rating: C+. This was always a weird one for me as they set up MVP to win the title but then Benoit just retains clean. I’m still not sure what the point of this one was other than to give us a surprise. The match itself was like a good Smackdown match so it isn’t out of place, but this felt like a curve ball for the sake of a curve ball, as it isn’t like Benoit is some kind of amazing champion.

Donald Trump is in on the phone in his dressing room and complaining about things. Boogeyman comes in and Trump no sells it, asking for some food.

Undertaker is All Grown Up.

We look at the Hall of Fame induction ceremony from last night. William Shatner still seems to have almost no idea who Jerry Lawler is.

Official attendance: 80,103.

Howard Finkel introduces the Hall of Fame Class of 2007 (I still love that song):

Jim Ross (quite the reaction)
Curt Hennig (represented by family)
Jerry Lawler (also quite the reaction)
Nick Bockwinkel (Fans don’t seem to know him, but is this guy ever not impeccably dressed?)
Mr. Fuji (I would never have recognized him, though it’s Don Muraco of all people wheeling him out)
The Wild Samoans (Not much of a reaction but how were they not in already?)
The Original Sheik (represented by his wife)
Dusty Rhodes (your headliner)

We get a fan poll on Undertaker vs. Batista, with Undertaker winning 82%-18%. That’s a heck of a squash.

We recap Undertaker vs. Batista for the Smackdown World Title. Undertaker won the Royal Rumble to earn the shot and Batista is all BRING IT ON as we have the monster fight for the title. This feels like a Wrestlemania World Title match and that’s kind of a hard trick to pull off.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is challenging and Teddy Long handles the introductions for a bit of a weird moment. We get the full druid entrance for Undertaker, which will never stop being awesome. Batista spears him down at the bell and it’s time to trade right hands in the corner. It’s actually Batista getting the better of things and the fans are not too thrilled with that. Undertaker pulls him outside for a ram into the apron but Batista is right back for a hard whip into the steps.

Back in and Batista nails a top rope shoulder (dang) for two and a heck of a clothesline cuts Undertaker off again. Undertaker slugs back from his knees and punches Batista into the corner for the running clotheslines. Snake Eyes into the big boot sets up the legdrop for two as we’re back to mostly even. Old School looks to set up the chokeslam but Batista powers out and knocks Undertaker down.

Undertaker doesn’t seem to mind as he sends Batista to the apron for the legdrop. There’s the Taker Dive and they’re both down on the floor. Back up and Batista drives him HARD through the barricade and hammers away as things have cranked up in a hurry. The announcers’ table is loaded up and a running powerslam drives Undertaker through it for the big crash. That’s only good for two back inside so Batista punches away even more.

The Batista Bomb is broken up with a drive into the corner but Batista is right back….with right hands from the middle rope. I guess HHH didn’t teach him that one and it’s the Last Ride for two. The frustrated Undertaker gets caught in a spinebuster but pops back up with a chokeslam for two. Batista slips out of the chokeslam and hits the spear into the Batista Bomb for two as the fans are WAY into these near falls. Undertaker backdrops his way out of another Batista Bomb and sends Batista into the corner. The Tombstone is enough to give Undertaker the pin and the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania level title match between two monsters. These two beat the fire out of each other and didn’t bother with anything other than the big power moves. They were trading bombs throughout the whole match and it was a question of who would survive, which made the whole thing world. It helps when Undertaker was motivated by being put in the middle of the card and cranked it up a notch, as both guys felt like they were on another level here.

Bobby Lashley is All Grown Up.

Stephanie McMahon brings her daughter in to meet Vince McMahon and we get the baby carriage cam, with Vince talking trash about Donald Trump. Jokes about a smell, at Trump’s expense, ensue.

ECW Originals vs. New Breed

That would be Sandman/Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Tommy Dreamer vs. Elijah Burke/Marcus Cor Von/Kevin Thorn/Matt Striker, with Ariel in the New Breed’s corner. The Originals come through the crowd for a nice bit of flavor. Sabu starts fast with the springboard elbow and body block to drop Striker. Sandman comes in so Cor Von makes a fast save and stays to beat on Dreamer. A hard elbow drops Dreamer and it’s Burke coming in for the Elijah Express.

The mocking of Dreamer’s pose delays the near fall and it’s Thorn coming in for a chinlock. A spinebuster gives Thorn two with Sabu making a save of his own. Cor Von’s chinlock stays on Dreamer’s back but he lets go to knock Sandman off the apron. A neckbreaker gets Dreamer out of trouble and, after kicking Burke away, it’s a hot tag to bring in Van Dam. House is cleaned, including the monkey flip and Rolling Thunder to Striker. Everything breaks down and Dreamer DDTs Striker as Sandman runs over people on the floor. The Five Star gives Van Dam the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t a good match or really anything close, but what matters here was giving ECW ANYTHING to do on the show. They didn’t need to do anything more than the basics here and Van Dam winning is a perfect way to go. You can all but guarantee that this feud isn’t over, especially with an Extreme Rules rematch out there.

Steve Austin is All Grown Up.

Wrestlemania XXIV is in Orlando.

We recap the Battle of the Billionaires, which is more about asking celebrities who they want to see bald. To keep it simple, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon got in a stupid argument over who is richer/invented YOU’RE FIRED/walks funnier so it’s time for a match between their handpicked representatives with the billionaires’ hair on the line. Throw in Steve Austin as referee and it’s the real Wrestlemania main event.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

Non-title, Donald Trump and Vince McMahon are both here, with Steve Austin as guest referee and Armando Alejandro Estrada in Umaga’s corner. Everything, including the barber’s chair, gets its own entrance (JR: “All we need now is a barbershop quartet.”). They stare at each other before colliding, with Lashley driving him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley away because Umaga is in the ropes so Lashley goes up for a middle rope clothesline.

Estrada puts Umaga’s foot on the rope so Lashley powerslams Estrada and sends him outside. A low bridge puts Umaga on the floor as well but Lashley misses a charge to send himself flying outside as well. Back in and Umaga gets two off a splash and it’s time to choke on the ropes. Austin doesn’t like that either and breaks it up, just to keep things even. The near explosion lets Lashley elbow Umaga in the face but Umaga runs him over again.

Some sitting down onto Lashley’s chest sets up a Samoan drop and Trump….looks about the same as he has all match. Lashley knocks Vince off the apron but Umaga is right back with a Downward Spiral. A trip up top takes too long as Lashley slams Umaga off the top for a double nine count, though Austin just won’t count the ten. Cue Shane McMahon to help Vince up as Umaga uppercuts Lashley down to cut him off again. Austin goes after Umaga’s eye to break up the choking so Shane offers a distraction, allowing Umaga to Samoan Spike Austin to the floor.

The double beating is on and Shane, after pointing at Trump (who points back), hits the Coast To Coast. Shane has a referee shirt (because of course he does) and Umaga’s top rope splash connects. Austin is back up to pull Shane to the floor and take him out (Trump, sounding calm: “What’s going on over here?”). Umaga drops Austin again but Trump clotheslines Vince (there’s your entertainment show highlight), leaving Austin to Stun Umaga. The spear gives Lashley the pin.

Rating: C. I don’t think anyone was expecting some kind of amazing match here and that’s not what you got. Instead, this was the crazy brawl surrounding the not very great power match. They kept this relatively short too, as there was no need to stretch this out any longer than needed. There was no way Trump was getting his head shaved so just get to the good stuff, which they did.

Post match Austin drags Vince inside for the shaving, but has to beat up Shane first. Vince tries to escape but Lashley chases him down without much trouble and drags him back to the ring. Back in and Vince bumps into Austin (as identified with a rub of the bald head), meaning it’s a Stunner to get Vince in the chair. The shaving is on (with Austin holding Vince for old times sake), even as Vince screams to not do this to him. JR: “It was Mr. McMahon’s real hair all along!”

They even whip out the shaving cream and razors to REALLY shave it off. JR: “Wrestlemania XXIII may be all grown up, but Mr. McMahon’s hair is all shaved off.” Vince looks eerily calm but then loses it all over again when Lashley holds up the mirror. As usual, Vince will do anything asked of him to make a moment like this. Beer is consumed and Austin Stuns Trump (the worst of all time, but he tried) to wrap it up.

John Cena is All Grown Up.

We look at the pre-show match as the ring is cleared out.

Commentary recaps the night so far.

Women’s Title: Melina vs. Ashley

Melina is defending and it’s a lumberjill match, with all of the lumberjills being named during the group entrance. Melina starts fast with the boot choke in the corner as JBL says the women look good enough to even impress Cole. Ashley gets knocked into a short giant swing and it’s off to a double arm crank with Melina’s boots in Ashley’s back. The comeback is on with Ashley whipping her into the corner and grabbing a monkey flip. Starstruck (middle rope elbow) misses though and Melina grabs a bridging cradle to retain.

Rating: D. Did you expect anything else? Ashley isn’t a wrestler and Melina isn’t good enough to carry her to anything great. They were very smart to keep this short as there was no way they could do anything long term here. Ashley did as much as she could, but this was nothing more than a way to promote her Playboy, as is the tradition for this spot.

Post match the big brawl is on and the good ones clean house in a hurry.

Shawn Michaels is All Grown Up.

John Cena beats Shawn Michaels in another fan poll 59%-41%.

We recap John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels for the Raw World Title. Michaels won a triple threat match to earn the spot and has since decided that he wanted to protect Cena until Wrestlemania. They wound up winning the Tag Team Titles but Shawn finally superkicked Cena, as is his nature, on the final Raw before Wrestlemania. Cena winning seems likely, but it’s Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania, and that is always going to give him a shot.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is challenging and comes out to the DX theme, which still doesn’t feel quite right. You would think his already iconic theme song would work, though he’s pretty famous for this song too. Cena’s big Wrestlemania entrance this year involves driving a Ford Mustang into the arena, right through a glass wall. They happen to be Tag Team Champions as well but it doesn’t mean as much here.

Shawn sits on the top turnbuckle as we’re ready to go. After hopping down, Shawn tells Cena to bring it and finally slaps him in the face to pick up the pace in a hurry. Cena gets knocked down into the corner and that means a crotch chop from Shawn. A backflip gets Shawn out of a belly to back suplex and Cena is frustrated early on. Shawn headlock takeovers him down and then does it again for a bonus. Back up and Cena cuts him down with a clothesline as the fans are firmly behind Shawn here.

Shawn enziguris him to the floor, setting up the springboard moonsault onto Cena onto the announcers’ table for the really nasty crash. Back in and Shawn goes for the leg, including stomping it down and wrapping it around the post. More stomping has the referee asking if Cena can continue and Shawn bends the knee around the rope. Shawn chops away so Cena punches him in the face for a simple yet effective counter.

A missed charge sends Shawn hard into the post and he’s busted open (thanks to one of those lightning quick blade jobs). Cena starts the comeback, including the ProtoBomb and Shuffle, but Shawn slips out of the FU. A quick Sweet Chin Music hits the referee by mistake (it seems early for that) and the FU is countered into a DDT to put them both down. With no referee, Shawn takes Cena outside for a piledriver onto the steps. Cena is busted as well as Shawn pulls him back inside, where a second referee comes in for the near fall.

The forearm sets up the top rope elbow but Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline. They’re both down again (as you might have guessed) for a bit before it’s time for the big slugout. The FU is countered into a sunset flip to give Shawn two but the next attempt connects. Cena can’t cover at first so it’s a very delayed near fall. Shawn breaks up the super FU and tries the superkick but has to counter the STFU (over and over) before getting two off a small package.

Cena is back with the STFU but Shawn realizes he is about a foot away from the rope and they’re out again. Back up and Shawn hits a quick Sweet Chin Music for a delayed near fall of his own. They pull themselves up and Cena snaps him right back into the STFU to make Shawn tap and retain the title.

Rating: A-. This felt like a Wrestlemania main event and that shouldn’t surprise anyone. They went with the epic match here and by the end, it felt like either of them could pull this off. It made everything feel that much better and it felt like an incredible main event. Again, I’m not sure how much drama there was over who was going to win here, but they still had an outstanding match with Shawn making Cena look like a killer and Cena hanging with Shawn well enough to feel like the biggest star in the company when he retained the title.

Shawn walks away post match, but Cena offer the salute.

The Ladies And Gentlemen highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. The big matches delivered and the bad stuff was mostly short. While it isn’t quite a classic, this is firmly in the higher tier of Wrestlemanias. What mattered here was the feeling, as you had a pair of great World Title matches, Money in the Bank delivering, and the big song and dance match with the Battle of the Billionaires. The rest of the show was watchable at worst and as a result, it felt like a Wrestlemania. That’s more than you could say about last year’s edition so they are trending in the right direction.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

 

No Mercy 2007
Date: October 7, 2007
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 12,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, Tazz, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It’s time for a special show as John Cena is no longer the WWE Champion due to suffering an injury on Raw. Therefore we are guaranteed a new champion, though it is not clear how the title will be decided. Other than that, the Smackdown side features Batista defending the World Title against Great Khali in a Punjabi Prison match. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the story of Noah, including sending out a dove, which led to Noah and his family being shown mercy. That won’t be the case tonight, as we will have a new WWE Champion.

Here are Vince McMahon and William Regal with the WWE Title underneath a covering in the ring. McMahon recaps John Cena’s injury (the fans don’t seem crushed) and promises that we will see a WWE Title match right here tonight. Vince talks about giving the fans the power and what they want, which leads to a big Y2J chant. Vince: “I’m not going to give you that!” Instead, he gives us the new WWE Champion: Randy Orton!

We get a long celebration from Orton, who still has to defend the title tonight. Regal even lets him pick his own opponent (Fans: “Y2J!”), so Orton makes it clear that he will NOT be facing Cena tonight (the fans approve). Orton talks about all the people he has put on the shelf and says there is no one that comes close to him.

Cue HHH in his gear and the fans approve of this one. HHH issues the challenge but Orton says no, with HHH thinking that’s a good idea. Orton wouldn’t want his second World Title reign to be shorter than his first. The fans seem to want HHH to get the show, so he goads Vince about it a bit and asks if Orton is scared. HHH accuses Vince of being scared and having no guts, or perhaps even any grapefruits. That’s finally enough to get the match so let’s do it right now.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. HHH

Orton is defending and a Vince distraction lets him jump HHH at the bell. An elbow to the face sends Orton outside but HHH isn’t going to let him walk out. Back in and Orton gets to stomp away but HHH nails the running knee. Orton’s backbreaker gives him his own two and it’s time to hammer away on the mat as this is pretty basic offense so far.

The powerslam gives Orton two and we hit the chinlock. HHH fights up again and hits a heck of a running clothesline, followed by an even bigger superplex for two. The spinebuster gets two more and HHH throws him outside, only to get caught with the hanging DDT on the way back in.

The RKO is countered but so is the Pedigree, leaving them both needing a breather. Orton misses the knee drop so HHH grabs a Figure Four, sending Orton straight to the ropes. Back up and Orton sends him to the floor so HHH comes in off the top, only to get pulled back down. Orton misses a charge into the post though and HHH grabs a rollup to give him the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. Yeah it’s hot shotting the title change but this is a bit of a special circumstance. HHH winning the title is a nice feel good moment as he is the undisputed top good guy on the roster right now. Let the fans have their nice moment to get them over Cena, even if it means that Orton had the title for about twenty minutes. Good match too, as evil Orton vs. heroic HHH hadn’t been done very often at this point.

HHH celebrates for a pretty long time.

Orton runs into Vince McMahon backstage and the boss walks away without saying a word.

Jeff Hardy/Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch/Mr. Kennedy

Bonus match, with Cade and Murdoch introducing Kennedy as their surprise partner. Cade and Kendrick start things off with Kendrick hitting a running crossbody. London comes in with a sunset flip for two and it’s off to Murdoch, who gets headlocked over almost immediately. Jeff uses London as Matt in Poetry in Motion but the sitout jawbreaker is shrugged off.

That lets Kennedy come in to stomp away but Jeff shrugs it off and hands it back to Kendrick. Cade gets forearmed and dropkicked, only to have Murdoch low bridge Kendrick to the floor. Murdoch gets dropped onto Kendrick for a legdrop and some knee drops make it worse. That lets Kennedy choke away in the corner and the cravate goes on. With that not getting him very far, it’s back to Cade, whose superplex attempt is cut off.

Instead, Kendrick comes back with a flying DDT and a VERY diving tag brings in Jeff to start cleaning house. The sitout gordbuster is dropped and Murdoch lands on his face but Hardy goes up for the Swanton anyway. Cade makes the save as everything breaks down, leaving Kennedy to hit the Green Bay Plunge to finish London.

Rating: C+. I can always go for the idea of throwing six people into one match and letting them do their thing like this. You can probably pencil in Kennedy as Hardy’s next Intercontinental Title challenger and that is the kind of place that would suit him well. Cade/Murdoch vs. London/Kendrick is a pairing that always works well enough so this was a fine use of pay per view time, especially for something unadvertised.

HHH and Batista admire their titles but HHH bumps into Vince McMahon. Vince doesn’t like to let his fans down, so HHH vs. Umaga is still on and the title is on the line.

ECW World Title: Big Daddy V vs. CM Punk

V, with Matt Striker, is challenging after winning a #1 contenders match against Tommy Dreamer, who was already the #1 contender. An early lockup goes badly for Punk as V shoves him outside. Back in and V mounts him for some shots to the face but Punk is back up with some kicks and forearms. V misses a charge into the corner though and Punk hits a missile dropkick, only to have Striker come in for the fast DQ.

Post match V destroys Punk with a Samoan drop and a bunch of elbow drops. V leaves and Punk has to be helped out of the ring as this will continue.

Long recap of MVP and Matt Hardy’s various sports contests over the last ten (egads) weeks.

And now, a pizza eating contest, as hosted by Taz and scored by Maria and Melina. After some long entrances, MVP complains about eating this many calories, like so many people from Chicago clearly are. Maria says she’s from Chicago, so is she fat? MVP says deep dish pizza doesn’t help your IQ, so he and Matt get into it over all of these competitions again. They finally sit down and have two minutes to eat the most slices, with the women keeping score. After two minutes, Matt somehow wins 2-0 and then vomits on MVP. This was longer than any match on the show so far.

We recap HHH vs. Umaga, which stems from HHH mocking Vince McMahon for being Hornswoggle’s father. Vince brought Umaga back and sent him after HHH, setting up this match. Thanks to HHH winning the title earlier tonight, it is now a title match.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Umaga

HHH is defending and they go right to the slugout to start. A DDT has no effect on Umaga so HHH low bridges him out to the floor. HHH’s ram into the steps has no effect so HHH gets sent into them for some more impact. Back in and Umaga hits a superkick before sitting down on his chest. The middle rope headbutt misses though and HHH is back with the facebuster, again to no avail. The Samoan Spike is countered into a Pedigree attempt, which is countered as well.

HHH pops back up with a spinebuster but another Pedigree attempt is countered into the Samoan drop. They head outside with HHH being sent ribs first into the apron, followed by the bearhug inside. Even wild Samoans have psychology. Umaga’s swinging Rock Bottom gets two more and Umaga stays on the ribs. The running hip attack misses though and so does a charge into the post. That’s enough to set up the Pedigree to retain HHH’s title.

Rating: C+. This felt like the match before intermission at a house show as they ran through it rather quickly, which is understandable as it’s HHH’s second match of the night. Umaga wasn’t going to win the title and they weren’t going to give him a big win so soon after he was back from a major suspension, but he is fine as a dragon for HHH to slay.

SAVE US video.

We look at the Punjabi Prison.

Great Khali is meditating and Runjin Singh talks about the evil that Khali is channeling for this match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Finlay

Finlay isn’t having this wristlock stuff to start and uppercuts Rey up against the ropes. A crossbody gets Rey out of trouble though and he hammers away in the corner to stagger Finlay for a change. Rey sends him outside but the baseball slid gets him caught in the ring skirt so the beating can be on again. Back in and Rey gets sent into the post, setting up the Fujiwara armbar.

A very hard clothesline takes Rey down again and Finlay grabs a hammerlock. Rey gets back up and sends him into the corner for the break, followed by another crossbody for another two. The springboard seated senton into a basement dropkick gets two but the 619 is cut off with another clothesline.

With the usual stuff not working, Finlay pulls off the turnbuckle pad. That’s a bit too obvious so Finlay grabs the Shillelagh, only to get hurricanranaed into the ropes. Finlay ducks the 619 (that’s a smart one) but Rey hits a top rope Fameasser instead, knocking Finlay off the apron straight onto the floor with a loud THUD. That looked horrible and the sound was even worse. It’s so bad that Finlay is out cold and the match is stopped as he is taken out on a stretcher.

Rating: C. There is always room for someone like Finlay against a fan favorite like Rey, though that ending is a rough thing to see. It’s always weird to rate a match that ends without a winner like this, but it was about what you would expect from these two. I could go with another from them when they get the chance to wrap it up properly.

Post match Finlay jumps off the stretcher and destroys Rey. That one got me so nicely done.

HHH is in the trainer’s room getting his ribs treated when Vince McMahon comes in. Vince guaranteed a new WWE Champion tonight and that is what we had. He guaranteed a WWE Title match and we did. The thing is, he also guaranteed a Last Man Standing match….so that is what HHH is getting, because Randy Orton has requested his automatic rematch. Vince: “If you can stand at all, champ.”

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and gets powered straight into the corner to start. A rollup out of the corner gives Michelle two but Beth hits the running shoulder to the ribs to cut her off. Michelle dropkicks her way out of trouble and grabs a short armscissors of all things. That’s broken up as well and Michelle dives into a World’s Strongest Slam for two.

The cobra clutch of all things goes on but Michelle does her best Bret Hart and climbs the corner for the backflip for two, with Beth not letting go as she kicks out. Candice drives her into the corner for the break and there’s a spinwheel kick. A high crossbody gives Candice two more and so does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth has had it and hits a backbreaker into the fisherman’s DDT for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. This was one of the flatter pay per view matches I can remember in a while as it just came and went. Candice losing the title is the right call, as there comes a point where her surviving against a monster like Phoenix is too much to accept. Phoenix is a different breed and should be a big thing in the division for a long time to come.

Post match Beth says this is the ushering in of the era of the Glamazon.

The Punjabi Prison is lowered.

We recap Batista vs. Great Khali for the Smackdown World Title. Batista won the title from Khali at Unforgiven in a triple threat and now it is time for the big showdown rematch. It’s basically “can Batista slay the monster” with some bells and whistles.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending inside the Punjabi Prison. There is a bamboo cage around the ring and then a much bigger one outside the ring. The inner cage has four doors that you have to call to be opened, which will have it opened for sixty seconds. After that, it stays closed permanently. You have to get out of the inner cage and then get over the bigger one to win. In other words, it’s more complicated than it needs to be and kind of hard to see through the big bars too, which is why it was only used a few times ever.

Khali goes after him with the chops to start but Batista knocks him back in the ropes to tie up the giant’s arms. JBL points out that Batista should be calling for a door but instead he charges into a boot like a moron as Khali gets his arms out. The big chop knocks Batista silly so Khali has a door opened. Batista makes the save though and the first door is officially closed for the rest of the match.

Some elbows in the corner have Batista in trouble but he comes back with a spear. The second door is open but Khali cuts him off this time and chokes against the cage until the door is officially closed. Khali pulls a strap off the cage and whips Batista down before calling for the third door to be opened. Batista cuts him off with a spinebuster though and crawls for the door, only to have Khali pull him back, meaning the door is officially closed.

That doesn’t work for Batista, who uses the same strap to beat on Khali but gets knocked down again with a single shot. The vice grip goes on so Khali calls for the last door to be open. Batista is back with a low blow to drop Khali, who is up in time to slam the door onto Batista’s back. The fourth door is officially closed so they have to go over the top to get out of the first cage.

Batista starts to go up but Khali pulls him back down for a crash. Khali manages to climb over the top of the first cage (that is some strong bamboo, mainly because it is supported by steel, because steel supported bamboo is a thing) to the floor. Batista is climbing up the inner structure and gets to the top as Khali gets to the top of the outer structure. In a pretty impressive move, Batista jumps from the inner cage to the outer and then beats Khali over the top and to the floor to retain.

Rating: D+. This could have been worse, but the problem is pretty obvious: this whole concept is so big and more complicated than it needs to be that it isn’t even fun. Also, I’m not sure how much of a signature match it can be for Khali when he hasn’t actually been in one of them before this. The ending was cool though as it felt like something out of the end of a movie and showed Batista was smart, which he has been before. Not a good match, but a clever ending.

Long recap of the WWE Title situation.

HHH is ready to fight one more time.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Randy Orton

HHH, with bad ribs, is defending in a Last Man Standing match. They stare at each other to start until Orton gets smart by going after the bad (and untaped) ribs. More shots to the ribs sent HHH outside, where his quick Pedigree attempt is countered with a legsweep to send the ribs into the ramp.

Back in and more shots to the ribs set up a belly to back drop onto the barricade for a six count. A whip into the steps gets six more so they head back inside. HHH manages a much needed facebuster for a breather but Orton’s backbreaker puts him down for eight more. That just has Orton frustrated so he grabs a TV cord and chokes HHH into some nasty spitting.

HHH gets up at nine so the annoyed Orton sends him outside. The ECW announcers’ table (with Joey and Tazz still there after their minute and thirty seven second match earlier) is loaded up and a monitor to the head rocks HHH. The RKO through the table is shoved off though and Orton crashes through the table hard. Orton is up at nine as well so HHH hits a spinebuster on the floor for another nine.

Some steps to the head get another nine count and they roll back inside. Orton manages a DDT onto a chair to stun HHH though and the RKO onto the open chair leave a bloody HHH down. The ropes get HHH back up and he throws in the crotch chop before falling to the mat again. Orton’s Punt is blocked though and HHH makes the fired up comeback by taking Orton outside and sending him into various objects.

Orton cuts him off though and a catapult sends HHH head first into the post for another near fall. The steps are picked up but HHH cuts him off with a low blow. That leaves Orton’s heads in the steps and it’s a chair shot to crush him again. Orton gets up again and the Pedigree is loaded up, only to have him counter into the RKO onto the table for the ten count and the title.

Rating: B. They picked it up in the end but this was a lot of standing around waiting after someone does something big. In other words, it’s a Last Man Standing match but it’s a Last Man Standing match without a reason for these two to hate each other. I do like that they gave us the kind of match they advertised, but it was a weird position to be in after the Cena vs. Orton feud got so personal and HHH was just a last minute substitute.

Overall Rating: B-. This is one of the weirder shows that WWE has ever presented and I’m not really sure what to think of it. The wrestling is mostly good, save for the Punjabi Prison mess, but it felt like a better version of a Russo era Raw with the three title matches in one night. They were in a tough spot here though and they did a pretty good job so well done with this, though it’s a pretty weird one.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: October 5, 2007
Location: Nutter Center, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s the go home show for No Mercy and that means it is time to push home the idea of the Punjabi Prison. Hopefully that is the big finale to the Batista vs. Great Khali feud because there is nothing left for those two to do against each other. Other than that, Vickie Guerrero is in charge and that might end badly for a lot of people. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of Vince McMahon announcing that John Cena has torn his pectoral muscle and will be out of action for six to twelve months. That’s going to shake up some plans.

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista to get things going, but first we look at a video on the Punjabi Prison. Batista talks about how he has been in all kinds of matches but never a Punjabi Prison match. He explains the match concept, which doesn’t quite make it sound appealing. To make it worse, he’s going to be locked inside with a giant and Khali has a home field advantage.

Batista knows he’s at a disadvantage but here is Great Khali on the screen to rant. This is translated to there being no way out of the pain and torture inside the Prison with Khali. People inside with him lose their sanity and the will to live. Oh and he’ll lose the title too. Batista isn’t convinced.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Ace Steel

Michelle McCool is here with Palumbo and we hear about Palumbo heading to some big biker rally in Arizona. A rather hard clothesline drops Steel and a Samoan drop puts him down, setting up an overhead belly to belly. There’s a big boot and Full Throttle to give Palumbo the squash win.

Post match Chris Masters comes in to Masterlock Palumbo out. I’m sure this will be a thrilling feud that launches Palumbo to the next level.

Video on Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali, which I believe was also played at the beginning of the show.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

They go technical to start with Noble taking him to the mat for a front facelock. Back up and Noble switches to a wristlock but Yang uses the ropes (no break) to reverses into a wristlock on the mat. Noble fights up so Yang fires off some chops before getting two off a legsweep. A Kimura is countered with a belly to back suplex to put Yang down as commentary keeps recapping Noble’s issues with Hornswoggle.

Some choking on the ropes keeps Yang in trouble and Noble asks what his name is. Whatever his name might be, he grabs a cravate, which has JBL going into an explanation of the logic behind the hold. Yang flips out of a belly to back suplex for two off a crossbody but Noble is right back with a cobra clutch. That’s broken up too and Yang kicks him in the face, setting up a middle rope dropkick. Yang’s moonsault press misses though and Noble hits the fireman’s carry gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is a good example of what happens when you spend months (if not years) treating wrestlers like nothing and then suddenly expect them to matter. The cruiserweights have been treated as absolutely nothing for a long time now but we’re supposed to care about them because they might be in line for a chance at a meaningless title. The match was fine, but it was an ice cold match and there was no hiding it.

The Diva Search girls had an obstacle course on the beach. In case you wanted to know their slip n slide or hula hooping skills. J. Kim is eliminated.

Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Deuce N Domino, with Cherry, are challenging because these teams are the tag division. Hold on though as MVP wants to have a pushup contest before the match. As expected, after a lot of trash talk, MVP cheats to cost Matt the contest by grabbing Matt’s arm. As for the match, Matt suplexes Domino to start and hands it off to MVP for an armbar. It’s back to Matt, who is driven into the wrong corner so Deuce can come in and forearm Matt’s back.

That earns him the middle rope elbow to the back and Deuce N Domino are both sent outside. MVP and Matt exchange elbows to the two of them and we take a break. Back with Matt fighting out of a front facelock and getting over to MVP. The comeback doesn’t last long as Domino low bridges MVP to the floor to put him in trouble for a change. A slam into a knee drop lets Deuce talk trash, which has JBL on a rant about not staying focused.

Domino puts on a reverse chinlock with a knee in MVP’s back before taking him outside for a back first ram into the apron. All the back work sets up an arm crank back inside before going to a more logical Boston crab. With that broken up, MVP finally kicks Domino away and the hot tag brings in Matt. Cole: “Matt Hardy is a literal ball of fire!” No Cole, he isn’t. The Side Effect hits the illegal Deuce and MVP hits Domino low, setting up the Twist of Fate to retain the titles.

Rating: C. The match got a lot of time but there are only so many ways to get excited over seeing these teams fight. We have covered this multiple times now and it is losing the limited steam that it had in the first place. Matt vs. MVP is still interesting, but they really need some other teams to face to keep their title matches fresh.

MVP and Matt go to leave but Kane pops up for his match, plus a staredown at MVP for last week’s low blow.

Kane vs. Kenny Dykstra

Joined in progress with Kane driving him into the corner for some right hands. An elbow to the heck keeps Dykstra in trouble and a big boot cuts off the comeback attempt. Dykstra gets in some kicks to the ribs but his suplex is blocked without much trouble. Kane hits a dropkick for two but Dykstra goes for the legs. That has a grand total of no effect as Kane is right back with the side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline to set up the chokeslam to end Dykstra.

Rating: D+. Almost a total squash here and it wasn’t exactly an entertaining one. Kane’s stuff still looks good but it is a little hard to get behind anything he does. He has been stuck in the same midcard/upper midcard loop for so long that there is little reason to get invested in him. A squash of Dykstra didn’t exactly change that.

We look back at Undertaker destroying Mark Henry in short order last week.

We look back at Teddy Long and Kristal’s messed up wedding.

The yet to be named Krissy Vaine is in Vickie Guerrero’s office, where Vickie explains that Teddy Long is out of his coma but in no condition to return. Matt Hardy and MVP come in, with MVP thinking Matt needs to face Undertaker. Instead, Vickie makes the two of them vs. the Brothers of Destruction. Of note: Vickie said “excuse me” when MVP was talking a lot.

We look at John Cena’s injury, which is going to put him on the shelf for six months (twelve is no longer mentioned).

Tale of the tape for Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali.

SAVE US, now featuring the word “bookshelves”.

Jesse and Festus vs. Mike Tolar/Chad Collyer

Before the bell, Jesse explains that Festus turns into a different person when the bell rings. The bell does ring and Festus gets serious, including a clothesline to Tolar. A double clothesline takes both of them down and it’s off to Jesse for a running bulldog. Collyer manages to take Jesse down but misses an elbow, allowing the hot tag off to Festus. House is cleaned and an over the shoulder sitdown gutbuster finishes Collyer, sending Festus back to his normal state.

Rating: C. I’ve heard of worse gimmicks than a split personality brought on by the bell ringing, though it might not have the longest shelf life. Jesse is fine enough as the talker who wrestles the basic part of the match and it isn’t like there is a wealth of tag teams running around at the moment. The Festus stuff is kind of interesting, but we’ll have to see how long it can last.

No Mercy rundown.

Video on Great Khali vs. Rey Mysterio from last year.

Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Rey is wise to stand back at the bell before getting in some rather worthless strikes. Khali hits a single clothesline to take over and a hard whip sends Rey into the corner. We hit the dreaded nerve hold but Rey is in the ropes. He comes up striking away, only to get kicked in the face for a trip to the floor. Khali’s big chop only hits steps though and Rey manages a 619 around the post (JBL: “You gotta be kidding me.”). Cue Finlay to jump Rey for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Rey’s comeback was starting to get somewhere but they needed to cut it off when they did as it couldn’t go much further. You don’t want Khali selling for someone of Rey’s size for very long but it leaves people wondering just how far Rey could have gone here. The problem continues to be watching Khali do anything, as he is so slow and lumbering that even the basics are pretty uninteresting.

Post match the beatdown is on until Batista makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show really needs something fresh as almost nothing on here is remotely interesting. That isn’t going to last long and it isn’t really working here. What we got wasn’t the worst, but it was so uninteresting that I had a hard time getting through the show. Maybe that changes after No Mercy, but it needs to change pretty soon.

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 28, 2007
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re just over a week away from No Mercy and the big Smackdown match is going to be Batista defending the World Title against the Great Khali inside the Punjabi Prison. I’m sure that won’t be a complete disaster as Khali can barely get through a regular match, but stranger things have happened. Now to build the rest of the show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.We open with a recap of last week’s wedding between Teddy Long and Kristal, capped off by the traditional groom’s heart attack.

Vickie Guerrero comes in to see Vince McMahon and tells him that Teddy has been in a coma for a week and has a history of heart disease. Vince says the show must go on and makes Vickie the new General Manager. Vickie leaves so here is Finlay, who has some things in common with McMahon. They’re both Irish, but they also both have to deal with Hornswoggle. They’ll work on that later.

Opening sequence.

Victoria vs. Torrie Wilson

Victoria takes her down into a front facelock to start as we hear about various things involving looking at Torrie. Back up and Torrie sends her into the ropes and grabs a rollup for two. Cole talks about how much Torrie has improved in the ring but JBL says who cares as long as we can look at her. A snap suplex gives Victoria two but Torrie is back with a headscissors and clothesline. Torrie tries a sunset flip out of the corner but Victoria sits down on it and grabs the ropes for the pin.

Rating: C-. It wasn’t much of a match, but Cole is right that Torrie has improved in the ring. She’s never going to be the top worker in the division, but she can work a decent enough basic match. The match wasn’t terrible and given how some of the division can be, this was at least passable.

Post match another blonde (looks a good bit like Torrie) comes in and stomps Torrie down, before bending her back around the post to leave her laying.

It’s time for MVP’s VIP Lounge, complete with a bunch of people sitting in on the set. MVP talks about Teddy Long having a heart attack after bringing so much heartache to WWE. Long’s biggest accomplishment is bringing MVP to WWE with this big of a contract and that is because he is better than everyone else. Tonight happens to be a special night for MVP, because it is his one year anniversary around here.

Now he has captured the Tag Team Titles with Matt Hardy…who comes out to interrupt, complete with a gold bottle. Matt acknowledges that even though it isn’t his thing, the VIP Lounge is a big deal. That being said, he knew he had to be here because MVP is his partner and his homie. Matt even has a gift for him in the form of a highlight video of MVP’s first year in WWE. You can imagine all of the horrible things that happen to MVP in said video, which is complete with a lame pop song.

MVP snaps about the video but Matt says he was just ribbing him. Matt calms him down with the bottle, which is popped open and poured, which has MVP calmed down a bit. The toast though sees Matt insulting MVP, who throws Matt out. Hold on though as Matt has one more gift: MVP gets to face Kane tonight!

Chuck Palumbo vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra kicks him down and fires off some boots to the back before we hit the chinlock. Palumbo fights up with an elbow to the face and a backdrop as the pace picks up fast. A middle rope dive is countered into an overhead belly to belly to send Dykstra flying. The Full Throttle finishes for Palumbo in a hurry.

Rating: D+. It was another short match that didn’t have time to go anywhere, but what were you expecting from Palumbo vs. Dykstra? This match wasn’t designed to be some kind of a classic, though it isn’t a good sign when it is the second match in a row that would fit that description. Palumbo isn’t going very far around here, but he’s good enough for a lower card guy.

Steve Austin still things the Marine is pretty snazzy.

Jesse and Festus are ready to debut next week, with Jesse promising Festus will come to life when the bell rings.

Commentary explains the Punjabi Prison and look at Great Khali destroying Batista.

Batista joins us in the back for an interview and says he has no idea how a Punjabi Prison match works. JBL interprets this as him being scared but Batista says Khali will have to take the title from his cold, dead hands. The champ didn’t have much to say here.

Kane vs. MVP

Non-title and MVP starts by cranking on the arm, only to get thrown down by straight power. Some uppercuts in the corner look to set up the big boot but MVP bails to the floor for a breather. That’s enough for MVP to snap Kane’s throat across the top but Kane runs him over again. Kane charges into an elbow in the corner though and a suplex is countered into a DDT to give MVP two.

A neckbreaker gets two more and we hit the…neck pull? Either way, MVP lets him go and Kane is back up with an elbow to the face. The top rope clothesline misses though and MVP gets two more. We hit the arm crank for a bit before Kane is back up and kicking away at the ribs. The chokeslam is blocked and they hit heads for a double knockdown and a break.

Back with MVP cranking on both arms before a running boot in the corner connects for another two. Some running corner clotheslines into the side slam give Kane two of his own but MVP breaks up another top rope clothesline. The break up is broken up though and now the clothesline can connect. The chokeslam is loaded up but MVP kicks him low for the DQ.

Rating: B. This started to roll near the end as MVP kept cutting off everything Kane threw at him. It was a question of how long MVP could hang in there before Kane finally caught him with something, which caused MVP to wrap it up with the DQ. Kane is having a rather nice run at the moment and I can always go for more of his good version.

The Diva Search girls had a limbo contest with Taryn winning. Lyndy is eliminated, crushing the dreams of dozens.

JBL brings out Rey Mysterio for an interview. He looks down at Rey and says Rey’s machismo is flat out stupidity, but Rey asks what’s up with the hatred. Does it bug JBL when he is here interviewing Rey instead of someone interviewing him? OF COURSE IT DOES, because JBL has twice the talent as Rey. That’s cool with Mysterio, who tells JBL to put up or shut up. JBL brings up Rey’s match against Great Khali next week and shoves him down, only to have Rey come back. The 619 is loaded up but here is Finlay with the Shillelagh to knock Rey cold.

Hornswoggle is in Vickie Guerrero’s office, where Vickie says that the Cruiserweight Title is making him a target. It’s even worse because he is now a McMahon, so she is making him abdicate the title. Hornswoggle hands it over, and that’s that for the belt. Fair enough, as it isn’t like the title has meant anything in years.

Jamie Noble vs. Shannon Moore

They start fast and head outside, with Moore sending him back first into the apron. Noble takes him off the top and grabs the Boston crab, sending Moore straight to the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker gets Moore out of trouble and a legdrop gives him two. Noble is back with something like a reverse Alabama Slam out of the corner, setting up a gutbuster for the pin.

Rating: C. Commentary kept hyping up the future of the cruiserweight division and if this is as good as it gets, they can’t get rid of the title fast enough. The division has not mattered for years now and the Hornswoggle reign was all the proof you could have needed. This was another completely watchable match, albeit one that felt like it meant a grand total of nothing.

Great Khali, through Runjin Singh, promises to get the title back from Batista.

No Mercy rundown.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry goes straight to the floor to start (and might have gotten his leg caught in the ropes on the way out) and the fight is on. Back in and Undertaker gets up a boot in the corner before striking away. Old School is pulled out of the air and it’s Henry getting to hammer away even more. Undertaker sits up to avoid a big elbow though and there’s the jumping clothesline. The chokeslam finishes Henry quick.

Rating: C-. This felt like a way to write Henry off of the show for awhile as Undertaker shrugged off most of what Henry threw at him and then beat him with the chokeslam. I’m not sure what is next for Henry, but beating a monster like this is not the best sign for his future. Undertaker is probably back in the title picture sooner rather than later, as it is hard to keep him away from the belt for that long.

Overall Rating: D+. This was one of the lamer Smackdowns in a long time as it felt like everyone was taking a week off. The only star power was Undertaker vs. Mark Henry in a match that felt like a post show dark match wound up on television. Maybe they were just taking a week off here, but there was almost nothing worth seeing here outside of Kane vs. MVP. I’d like to believe it’s a one off situation, but this wasn’t a good show.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 21, 2007
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re done with Unforgiven and that means we have a new World Champion as Batista defeated the Great Khali and Rey Mysterio to win the title back. Batista might be in some fast trouble though as he has to deal with the returning Undertaker, who has defeated Mark Henry and wants the title as well. On top of that (maybe), it’s time for Kristal and Teddy Long to get married. Let’s get to it.

Here is Unforgiven if you need a recap.

It’s the season premiere and Maria is our guest host, including some guests: the Ying Yang Twins, plus Coach and Vince McMahon. Maria congratulates Vince on his son Hornswoggle, who is NOT here tonight. Coach would rather talk to the Twins, who he thinks are country singers. Yang: “I like Hornswoggle more than I like him.”

Opening sequence.

Here is Batista for a chat and he is very excited about his new suit and his new title. He congratulates Rey Mysterio and knows Rey will be World Champion again, but for now, Great Khali is cashing in his rematch clause so there will be a Punjabi Prison match at No Mercy. Cue Mark Henry to say he is going to end Undertaker’s career next week but he can take Batista’s title whenever he wants. Batista: “You are as stupid as you are ugly.” The challenge seems to be accepted.

Maria is dancing with the Ying Yang Twins when Jeff Hardy comes in. The Twins seem to like the Intercontinental Title, which Yang gets to hold. Then Jeff dances.

Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Jamie Noble

Jamie takes over to start but Yang is right back up with a standing hurricanrana. Noble knocks him down again and goes after the arm before elbowing Yang in the head. The armbar goes on but Yang is back up with an enziguri, only to get pulled into a Fujiwara armbar. The rope is grabbed but hold on as Noble sees Hornswoggle’s hat at ringside. The hat is on Shannon Moore though, and the distraction lets Yang hit the moonsault press for the pin.

Rating: C-. Well that was quick and mostly harmless, at least until they got to the Noble Hates Hornswoggle of course, because that is the kind of dumb idea that WWE keeps obsessing over. That being said, it isn’t like there is anything else going on in the cruiserweight division so this is about all we can get. That should explain the problem with the division as well as anything else.

Matt Hardy and MVP’s latest competition is throwing footballs through a tire. MVP has to cheat to survive so Matt says he can win at anything, including wrestling. We’ll worry about that later though as they have a tag match next.

Undertaker is back next week.

MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

Non-title and Cherry is here with Deuce N Domino. Matt tags MVP in to start and it’s a suplex to put Deuce down. A double elbow is loaded up but MVP switches to a solo clothesline instead. There’s a double suplex for the same but the fans seem to be more about Hardy than anyone else. Deuce takes MVP down into the corner though and we take a break. Back with MVP having to fight out of a chinlock but getting knocked into the corner to keep up the beating.

A side kick misses though and MVP is back with a faceplant for a breather. Domino can’t cut off the hot tag again and it’s back to Matt to clean house. The middle rope elbow to the back of the neck drops Domino and a corner bulldog/clothesline combination takes both of them down for two. The Side Effect drops Domino but Matt loads up the Twist of Face and, after walking into the corner so MVP can tag himself in, gets rather annoyed. MVP gets knocked off the apron so Matt hits a neckbreaker, only to get rolled up to give Domino the pin.

Rating: C. The struggles continue as the story continues, which is not a bad thing. Matt and MVP don’t get along in the first place and it is good to see a regular team managing to beat them. You can only get so far with a team that can’t stand each other beating regular teams so this was the smart way to go.

Post match, arguing ensues.

Teddy Long’s family and friends are ready for the marriage, with Butch Reed not being sure how Teddy got a woman like Kristal. And how is she in various situations? That’s too far for Teddy, because his grandson and the reverend are here too. Actually it’s not that bad, because the reverend would like to know too. Teddy says he is going to make Kristal holla, holla holla.

Here is Rey Mysterio for a chat in the ring with Michael Cole. Rey says he’s glad to be back in the ring with the Smackdown fans and he congratulates Batista on winning the World Title. We see a recap of the Rey vs. Chavo Guerrero feud but John Bradshaw Layfield gets up to yell at Cole and Rey.

JBL doesn’t want Rey to be asked a bunch of lame questions like this while he pays homage to the 619. Rey brings up that he ended JBL’s career and is ready to fight right now. That seems to work for JBL but he can’t do that with his broadcasting contract. He does know someone who loves to fight though, so here is Finlay. A cheap shot leaves Rey laying and Finlay leaves as JBL returns to commentary.

Raw Rebound.

Maria is still hanging out with the Ying Yang Twins when Jimmy Wang Yang comes in and seems to know who they are. Carlito comes in but before he can say anything, Chuck Palumbo comes in to rev his engine, which Maria seems to like.

The Diva Search girls play beach volleyball for a long time. Naomi is the first girl cut, even though they haven’t actually been in the arena yet. Next time: limbo.

The bridal party meets Jagged Edge, who will be performing at the wedding. Autographs are given out and we get a preview of the song, with Kristal getting chills.

Mark Henry vs. Batista

Non-title. Henry powers him into the corner to start but Batista is back with a running clothesline. Back up and Henry sends Batista into the corner again and this time it’s a running splash to put Batista down. We hit the chinlock with a nerve hold, which is at least a slight twist on the norm. Batista fights up and hits a middle rope shoulder, setting up the spinebuster….and here is Great Khali. Batista goes after him but stops to spear Henry on the floor, drawing the double countout.

Rating: C-. This was about as good of a match as they were going to be able to have given the situation, as you don’t want Henry to lose again and Batista can’t be losing as the new champion. Khali interfering makes sense too and now we get to set up their singles title match, even in the wacky Punjabi Prison. They didn’t have time to get too bad here either, and that’s about as smart of an idea as they could have had.

Post match Khali beats up Batista without much trouble.

Undertaker is still back next week.

It’s time for the wedding, with the reverend (Bruce Bruce) and a bunch of guests, including Vince McMahon, in attendance. With all of the wrestling guests sitting down, Hornswoggle pops out from underneath the ring with a chair and a phone book to sit on. Post match, Teddy Long comes to the ring and the bridesmaids/groomsmen come out as well. Kristal comes out and, after falling on the steps, gets in the ring for the ceremony.

Jagged Edge comes out to perform a song, which everyone seems to enjoy (including a bunch of hands waving, though Vince just bobs back and forth). Hold on though as here is Jillian Hall for a song of her own, which goes on despite everyone’s protests. Eventually some women pick her up and carry her out (Reverend: “Praise Jesus.”) but hold on again as Hornswoggle starts beating up Coach.

With that under control, the reverend is ready for the vows but here is the Godfather, with his ladies, to interrupt. Godfather offers Teddy one more good time on the Train but Teddy is happy here. Ron Simmons pops in with an annoyed version of the catchphrase before Godfather leaves….with JBL joining him in a funny bit. Then all of the guests go too, which raises a few questions.

Teddy says his vows and Kristal is about to do the same but Hornswoggle runs into the ring. Coach and Vince chase him to the back, leaving Kristal to say I Do. Teddy is about to do the same…and falls over holding his heart. Everyone panics as medics come in to give Teddy oxygen to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Pretty meh show overall, as the big ending is only so interesting. I remember watching this live and not being overly impressed or interested in where it was going. It probably means Vickie Guerrero takes over, which should make for the latest lame boss. Other than that, we get a few more weeks of build towards the Unforgiven rematches, meaning more Batista vs. Khali. Lucky us.

 

 

 

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Unforgiven 2007
Date: September 16, 2007
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

We’re in that weird period where we have a lot of Summerslam rematches and some of them are a bit more interesting than others. There are a few interesting possibilities though, as Undertaker is returning to face Mark Henry and Randy Orton is getting another WWE Title shot at a furious John Cena. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Undertaker returning, although this one is a bit more intense and detailed. This time Undertaker is shown in the middle of a desert standing on a mountain (or close enough). And nothing else is happening on the show apparently.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke

Punk is defending and we see a recap of him taking the title from John Morrison. Then Morrison got busted in the steroids scandal so here is Burke challenging instead. Burke getting a jobber’s entrance should tell you all you need to know about this one. They fight over a lockup to start with neither getting anywhere early on. Now it’s to the mat, where Burke has to bail to the ropes to escape a cross armbreaker.

Back up and Burke starts elbowing at the head, only to get kicked right back down. Kicks to the legs and back keep Burke in trouble but he pulls Punk down out of the corner to take over. We hit a double arm crank until Punk mule kicks his way to freedom. The running knee in the corner sets up the springboard clothesline for two so Burke bails outside. Punk tries to go after him but gets pulled down for a crash (and a loud thud).

Back in and a running forearm to Punk’s back gets two and we hit the Boston crab. A screaming Punk makes it over to the rope for the break so Burke rolls some German suplexes. An STO gives Burke two and it’s off to something like what Rhea Ripley would dub the Prism Trap (minus the swinging around). Punk slips out and hits an enziguri, only to get punched in the head for two. Burke slaps him in the face on the mat a few times, only to get rolled up for the fast pin.

Rating: C+. Points for the quick and surprise ending there as that’s a nice thing to see for a change. There was almost zero doubt about the winner here and that doesn’t make for the best result. Burke had to be reheated after his feud with Punk was over about a month and a half ago but what else were they going to be able to do here? The ECW roster is rather weak at the moment and with Morrison gone, this is about as good as they could have done.

We look at the saga of Matt Hardy vs. MVP, which eventually saw them being forced to team up. Then they won the Tag Team Titles, which they have to defend tonight.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MVP/Matt Hardy vs. Deuce N Domino

MVP/Hardy are defending and the challengers have Cherry with them. Matt and Domino look to start but MVP tags himself in to grab a wristlock instead. There’s a slam to put Domino in and MVP tags out via a slap to Matt’s chest. Hardy hits a neckbreaker on Deuce and brings MVP back in, allowing Deuce to take over in the corner.

MVP jumping bulldogs his way out of trouble and mocks Matt’s screaming elbow, allowing Deuce to get back up. Matt tags himself back in and teases his own Ballin. MVP snaps so Domino uses the distraction to come in and clean house. The chinlock doesn’t last long but an elbow to the face gives Deuce two. Something like a seated abdominal stretch goes on but he fights up and scores with the Side Effect.

That’s still not enough for the tag though as Domino knocks MVP off the apron and grabs another chinlock. MVP walks out, leaving Hardy to kick out of a suplex/high crossbody combination. Now MVP gets back on the apron as Matt hits a double clothesline. Another slap brings in MVP, who takes his time coming in to clean house. Ballin connects but Matt tags himself in and hits the Twist of Fate to retain instead.

Rating: C. This was much more about storytelling than the wrestling and in this case, that’s ok. The Matt/MVP story isn’t about the tag team stuff, which is little more than a way to keep things going until we get to the big showdown. The good side though is that the tag stuff has wound up being entertaining anyway so nothing has gotten boring yet. Totally fine match, but Deuce N Domino could have been anyone.

Matt celebrates with all three titles, just to rub it in to MVP.

Rey Mysterio acknowledges that he is not at 100% coming into tonight’s triple threat title match but he’s going to give it his all. He overcomes the odds and will do it again to win the title, just like he did last year.

HHH vs. Carlito

Only HHH can get disqualified. HHH elbows him to the floor to start and then punches away back inside. Carlito gets knocked outside again so let’s bring in a trashcan. Instead, HHH clotheslines him right back to the floor, this time following with a drive into the barricade. Back in and some elbows to the back keep Carlito in trouble, with a backbreaker making it worse. We hit the abdominal stretch as you don’t often get to see HHH picking someone apart like this.

HHH even grabs a rope, then switches to the hair when the referee goes to check. The hair finally gets him caught and the referee breaks it, earning himself some booing. They head outside again with Carlito being thrown over the announcers’ table but coming back with a bell shot to take over.

Back in and Carlito chokes away with a cable before switching to a different form of choking. The apple is loaded up but HHH Punches it out of his mouth. You don’t do that to Carlito, who pounds away with the trashcan for two more, leaving JR to wonder what kind of an apple Carlito had. A belly to back suplex onto the trashcan gets two so Carlito loads a fresh trashcan into the corner.

That takes way too long though and HHH hits a clothesline. There’s the jumping knee into the facebuster for two and HHH hammers away in the corner. Carlito finds some powder to blind HHH but a chair shot is countered into a spinebuster. The referee has to take a chair away from HHH, so it’s a low blow behind the referee’s back, setting up the Pedigree to give HHH the pin.

Rating: C+. This was about as good as you were going to get out of Carlito vs. HHH, as Carlito has never been anything resembling a threat at this level. Even stacking the deck against HHH didn’t make this a tough one, as HHH cut him apart and then won in the end. That being said, there is something fun about HHH beating Carlito down and then cheating ala Ric Flair to win in the end. Not a dramatic match, but it was fun.

Batista hits on Maria and then promises to win the World Title because the time for talking is over.

Video on Beth Phoenix wrecking everyone on her way to Candice Michelle and the Women’s Title.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Michelle is defending and grabs a headlock to start. Phoenix isn’t having that and lifts her into the air by the arm. A wristdrag takes Phoenix down but she knocks Candice into the corner without much effort. The double arm crank goes on as Phoenix doesn’t exactly seem to think much of Phoenix.

An over the shoulder backbreaker has Candice in more trouble but she slips out and forearms away. That earns her a hard drive into the corner though and a gorilla press gives Phoenix two. Another backbreaker is loaded up but Candice reverses into a crucifix for the fast pin to retain the title.

Rating: C-. They were trying here but it was a glorified squash until Candice stole a win to retain the title. The good thing is that it sets up a rematch and it is hard to imagine that Phoenix doesn’t pick up the title in the second match. Candice is absolutely trying though and the match was more boring than bad, which is a step up from some of the stereotypical Divas matches.

Great Khali is ready to crush people and retain the title. He even demonstrates the Vice Grip on a some melons, one of which has a Rey Mysterio match applied.

We recap Great Khali defending the Smackdown World Title against Rey Mysterio and Batista. Khali is the unstoppable monster and the odd friends are going to try and get the title off of him. It is probably time for a title change, but Khali retaining, just because of WWE’s love of monsters, wouldn’t be shocking either.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Great Khali

Khali is defending and has to fight off both of them at once. Rey is sent outside, leaving Batista to get stomped down in the corner. That’s broken up and Batista hits the shoulders to the ribs until Rey comes back in. More double teaming is teased but Rey rolls Batista up for a surprise two. A springboard seated senton drops Batista but Khali kicks Rey in the face.

Batista blocks the Vice Grip for a bit before Khali manages to get it on. Rey’s chair to the back breaks it up, earning himself a punch to the face. Batista is sent outside, leaving Khali to get stomped down in the corner. Rey manages to fight out of a nerve hold but gets kicked in the face. The Vice Grip is loaded up again but Batista makes the save and ties Khali in the ropes. Rey is right there with a quick 619 to Batista and another to Khali. Batista powerbombs Rey onto Khali though and the spinebuster is enough to finish Khali to give Batista the title back.

Rating: C. This was about as good as it was going to get as it was basically Batista and Rey taking their turns against Khali, who could only do so much. The good thing is they did what they could and it could have been a lot worse. Batista getting the title back is one of the better ideas, as he can keep it warm until they get on to the next thing while still feeling like a big deal in his own right.

Batista celebrates for a long time.

Long recap of Hornswoggle being revealed as Mr. McMahon’s son.

HHH congratulates Batista on winning the title but reminds him how hard it is to keep it.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Paul London/Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

London and Kendrick are challenging. Kendrick and Cade start things off with Kendrick grabbing a hammerlock. A hiptoss gets Cade out of trouble and he puts on a headlock to slow Kendrick down. Murdoch comes in and gets armdragged into an armbar, allowing London to hit a top rope elbow to the arm. There’s a top rope stomp to the arm, setting up a slingshot kick to Murdoch’s face to give London two.

Everything breaks down for a bit and the champs are knocked outside, setting up stereo dives. Back in and Murdoch knocks Kendrick off the apron for a hard crash. That’s good for two back inside and Murdoch sends him into the corner to give Cade his own near fall. Something like a middle rope powerslam plants Kendrick for two more, with London having to make the save.

The neck crank goes on to keep Kendrick down until he slips out, as you might have guessed because it was a neck crank. Cade charges into a raised boot in the corner so Murdoch goes up, only to try an ax handle to a downed Kendrick. Since that move is only designed to have Kendrick raise his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air, he raises his boots to knock Murdoch out of the air.

The hot tag brings in London to clean house, including a springboard double stomp to Cade’s back. A standing shooting star press gives London two and Kendrick’s high crossbody gets the same. Murdoch kicks Kendrick in the face for two more as everything breaks down. Sliced Bread is countered and Cade’s sitout spinebuster finishes Kendrick to retain the titles.

Rating: C+. These teams work well together and they got to do it again here, which was nice to see on the bigger stage. Brawlers (or however you describe Cade/Murdoch) vs. fast high fliers will work every time and that was the case again here. The match might not have been a classic, but it was a fine way to use some pay per view time (and almost the most given to any match on the show).

We recap John Cena vs. Randy Orton for Cena’s Raw World Title. Cena retained the title at Summerslam so Orton Punted Cena’s dad in the head, sending Cena into a rage. And a rematch.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Cena is defending and his dad is in the front row. They stare each other down and then slug away in the middle of the ring with Cena getting the better of things (shocking). Orton gets sent hard into the corner and they head outside with Cena standing on his head. Cena’s dad continues to have the angriest glare on his face as Cena takes it back inside to keep up the beating.

Orton catches him with an uppercut for a breather and there’s the hanging DDT for two. A sleeper goes on but Orton reverts to form and switches it into a chinlock. Cena actually has to power out and starts hammering away in the corner, eventually shoving the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Well that was kind of lame, as this seemed to be more of a match to bridge us between the first match and the big blowoff instead of something that actually mattered. It wasn’t even eight minutes long and a good chunk of that was spent in a chinlock. Cena being angry and wanting to hurt Orton makes sense, but this felt like it should have been a run of the mill Raw main event rather than a pay per view title match.

Post match Cena goes after him again but gets his neck snapped across the top. Cena’s dad tries to make the save but gets beaten down again, drawing out Cena for the save. Cena grabs the STF so Cena’s dad can add a Punt of his own. That worked, even if the kick was kind of (understandably) terrible.

In the back, Coach yells at John Cena’s dad and makes Cena vs. Randy Orton III in a Last Man Standing match. Cena runs in to grab Coach by the lapels and say you don’t mess with family before throwing him down.

We recap Mark Henry vs. Undertaker. Henry attacked Henry and put him out of action a few months ago, meaning it is time for revenge. And pain.

Undertaker vs. Mark Henry

Henry wants Undertaker out here, which triggers the big intro, complete with gong. The set even falls down to reveal Undertaker’s symbol, which catches on fire. Undertaker rises up and yeah this is going to hurt. Henry backs up from the staredown and Undertaker starts punching away at the bell. A charge is pulled out of the air though and Henry drives him into the corner.

Undertaker headbutts his way out of trouble but Old School is broken up. Instead it’s a superplex to bring Undertaker crashing back down but he doesn’t take kindly to being kicked in the face. A clothesline knocks Henry outside and Undertaker punches him up against the barricade. Undertaker stops to glare at the referee though, allowing Henry to hit what might have been a low blow.

Back in and a splash gives Henry two, followed by a second for two more. The third misses though, meaning it’s time for the slugout. Undertaker tries what looks to be a Downward Spiral but it gets countered into something like an STO (or Henry didn’t know how to take it). There’s another splash (ok we get the idea) but this time Undertaker sits up when Henry doesn’t cover.

Some charges in the corner set up Old School and the chokeslam drops Henry for another two. Henry cuts off a charge with a bearhug so Undertaker grabs him by the throat. That’s countered with a drive into the corner so Henry can rain down right hands. Since Henry has apparently not watched an Undertaker match in the last seven years or so, he earns the Last Ride out of the corner to give Undertaker the pin.

Rating: C+. I can go for Undertaker throwing people around and that Last Ride looked pretty awesome, as Henry pretty much crashed down from the ropes. Undertaker was going to win here, but it was about bringing him back and putting him straight into the main event scene again. Good enough power brawl, even if it wasn’t about the drama over the results.

Undertaker signals that he wants the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. It says a lot that it felt like nothing happened here despite the World Title changing hands. The wrestling was decent enough, though nothing is worth watching and some of the matches are forgettable just a little bit after the show ended. The show isn’t bad and there are some completely watchable parts, but it is the most skippable show I can remember in a very long time.

 

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: September 14, 2007
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 5,200
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

It is the go home show for Unforgiven and we are now set for a triple threat World Title match. Great Khali will be defending against Rey Mysterio and now Batista, which sounds like a way to keep Batista vs. Great Khali from wrecking a show. Hopefully we can get some more good stuff going this week because Unforgiven could use the hype. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look back at Rey Mysterio defeating Chavo Guerrero last week, only to get wrecked by Great Khali after. Batista came in for the save, with Teddy Long adding him to the Unforgiven title match to end the show.

Opening sequence.

Michelle McCool vs. Victoria

Chuck Palumbo, with his motorcycle, and Kenny Dykstra are here too. Victoria drives her into the corner to start but gets caught in a headlock. With that not working for Victoria, she slams Michelle face first into the match and grabs something close to a Muta Lock. A trip to the floor goes badly for Michelle but they come back inside to chop it out. Some dropkicks have Victoria in trouble but Dykstra goes after McCool. That means Palumbo goes in after her and we take a break. I think you know what that means.

Rating: C-. This was a slight step above the usual catfight stuff that you might see but it wasn’t exactly good. What matters is that they are trying and I’ll take this as a bit better of a story than what we usually get. That being said, there is no particular endgame for all of these people and that has been a problem for a long time now. With no title around here, what is the point of all of these fights?

Chuck Palumbo/Michelle McCool vs. Kenny Dykstra/Victoria

Joined in progress with Palumbo knocking Dykstra into the corner and hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two. Dykstra gets driven into another corner but he gets a boot up to cut off a charging Palumbo. It’s off to work on Palumbo’s leg, with Dykstra cranking away. Palumbo fights out without much trouble and punches him down, setting up the tag to Victoria. Michelle comes in to kick Victoria down for the pin as Palumbo takes care of Dykstra.

Rating: C-. Adding the men didn’t help much and the match wasn’t all that great in the first place. Palumbo is doing what he can but there is a limit to what he is capable of doing. Throw in Dykstra not being all that interesting either and this was only going to be so good. The women were barely involved, making the mixed tag a bit of a wasted stipulation.

Jesse and Festus come in to see Teddy Long, who is glad they’re here but tonight is his bachelor party. Some women come in to dance with Teddy, plus his son and some wrestlers, including Butch Reed. Dancing ensues.

A rather large druid is in the ring and he unmasks as Mark Henry. This proves that Undertaker isn’t the only one who can do hocus pocus, but his power is even greater. We see a video of Henry wrecking Undertaker, sending him away a few months ago. That is real power….and then the Undertaker video takes over the feed again. He’s back at Unforgiven, as we have known for about a month now. Back in the arena, Undertaker’s symbol lights on fire and Undertaker’s voice says Henry will rest in peace on Sunday.

The Diva Search is coming back, complete with the same video from Raw. There is even a beach volleyball competition up on WWE.com.

Matt Hardy has MVP beaten at chess but MVP sneezes and breaks up the board. That’s ok too, as Matt has gotten MVP a match, which happens to be next.

Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble

Fallout from Noble losing his mind over Hornswoggle. Moore slugs away in the corner to start before sending Noble’s hand into the buckle. The armbar keeps Noble in trouble as the fans think that something sucks. Noble slips out and hits him in the face, setting up a double underhook pull. Moore rolls his way to freedom and hits a basement dropkick for a breather, only to get backdropped to the apron. That’s fine with Moore, who sends him outside for a bit flip dive off the top. Back in and a Rock Bottom backbreaker gives Noble two but Moore thinks he sees Hornswoggle. The distracted Noble gets rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. The action was good because these two are that good at what they do, but at the same time, there is only so much that you can do when the main story is all about one of them chasing a leprechaun. I’m not sure I can picture the feud lasting that much longer, but this Noble vs. Hornswoggle deal has been a rough watch for a long time now.

Kristal is worried about the wedding but Vickie Guerrero convinces her to go into a locker room…where her bachelorette party is waiting on her. Wedding night attire is given.

MVP doesn’t want to have his match but is told he has to.

Domino vs. MVP

Cherry, Deuce and Matt Hardy are here too. MVP is in street clothes and strikes away to start before hitting a facebuster. Domino knocks him down though and hits a legdrop for an early two. We hit the neck crank so Matt tries to start an MVP chant but gets SUCKS as a response. The chant does start a comeback but Domino blasts him with a clothesline to cut him off again. A knee and an elbow get two and a butterfly suplex sets up a chinlock. Another MVP/SUCKS chant off brings MVP back up but Deuce offers a distraction. Matt takes care of him but the distraction lets Domino grab a small package for the pin.

Rating: C. This was a weird one but it is nice to see MVP getting back in the ring for a slightly more physical match. It felt like he was wrestling a regular match here, with the time getting extended a little more than last time. At the same time, it was cool to see the Matt vs. MVP story continuing, as it is starting to get more interesting week by week.

Post match Matt says he and MVP will retain the titles at Unforgiven, so let’s have that chant one more time!

We see the opening video again.

Raw Rebound.

Back to the bachelorette party, where Kristal, now in her wedding night clothes, gets a delivery. You know it’s Big Dick Johnson before I even say it, so we’ll just move on with the visuals you are probably expecting.

Great Khali, through Runjin Singh, promises to retain the title with a double Vice Grip. That’s pretty specific.

Kane vs. Finlay

Belfast Brawl, meaning street fight. Finlay jumps him from behind to start and the fight is on outside. Kane gets sent into the barricade but punches Finlay back down and takes it inside. An exchange of elbows to the head goes to Finlay and he stakes the leg out to put Kane down for…well zero actually. Kane pulls him away from the ropes for a crash and knocks Finlay outside for a big crash.

Finlay isn’t about to have that and dropkicks him through the ropes on the way back in. A clothesline on the floor puts Kane down again and Finlay sends him arm first into the steps. Kane gets in a shot of his own though and we take a break. Back with Finlay staying on the arm, which is the kind of logic that you don’t get often enough. The bad arm is slammed onto the apron and a chair shot to said arm makes it even worse.

Some kicks to the arm have Kane down in the corner and it’s time to take a turnbuckle pad off. Kane slips behind him though, only to miss a charge into the buckle. The armbar goes on again before the shoulder goes into the post as this has been almost one sided. Kane manages a big boot to knock him outside though and that’s good for a needed breather. It’s time to rip off some of the barricade pad, allowing Kane to drop Finlay face first.

Finlay gets sent into the announcers’ table as well but comes back with a thumb to the eye. Back in and Kane hits the corner clothesline, setting up the side slam. There’s the top rope clothesline (Cole: “It’s like getting hit by a jumbo jet!” No Cole, it isn’t.) and they head back to the floor for a bit boot to Finlay’s jaw. The steps are brought inside but Finlay hits him in the ribs with a chair. The Celtic Cross is enough to give Finlay the pin.

Rating: B. This is the kind of match that works so well for the two of them as they are both great at this style. It was all about hitting each other really hard and that works well for a pair of brawlers. It’s rare enough to see Kane take a clean loss and on top of that, it is nice for Finlay to get one of the bigger wins of his career.

Teddy Long and Kristal, both in various states of undress, realize that they are both up to various things. Glares are exchanged but everyone shows up, allowing Ron Simmons to hit the catchphrase. Dancing ensues to end a funny bit.

Unforgiven rundown.

Batista vs. Great Khali

Non-title. Batista slugs away to start but gets shoved down. There’s the big chop to put Batista down again and it’s time to stomp away in the corner. A clothesline looks to set up the Vice Grip but Batista blocks it with straight power. They head outside with Batista driving him into the post before heading back inside for a spinebuster. The threat of a Batista Bomb is countered with a backdrop though and the Vice Grip goes on. Batista goes straight to the ropes but Khali won’t let him go and that’s a DQ.

Rating: C-. Given that we ware less than two days away from these two having another bad match at Unforgiven, this was about the only way they could have gone. They could only do so much here as Khali is still that limited, just in case you needed more proof that it is time to move on. We get the concept already, so have Batista slay the dragon and get the title back.

Post match the hold stays on until Khali finally lets go to end the show (albeit after a great shot of a terrified fan) with Batista vibrating on the mat.

Overall Rating: B-. The Belfast Brawl carried this thing and was one of the better TV matches in a long time. What mattered was making me care about the Smackdown half of the pay per view though and this show only kind of made that happen. The main event isn’t interesting as it is either someone finally stopping Khali or the reign continuing, neither of which is all that exciting. It will be a relief if he loses the title, but it is a beginning rather than the big moment. That’s for Sunday though, and at least we had a good TV show to get us there.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2022
Location: Gainbridge Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Jimmy Smith Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and that means it’s time for a lot of talking about the matches that have already been made for Saturday’s show. It also means that we are in for another limited commercial show, because if there is one thing WWE needs, it is more content. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video now has a voiceover saying “FOREVER. TOGETHER.”

Here is Bobby Lashley with MVP to get things going. Lashley talks about having to go through the Elimination Chamber to get to WrestleMania as WWE Champion. The Chamber has shortened careers and impacted lives….but so has he. MVP says there is 16% chance of Lashley retaining the title, but when you add in the Almighty Quotient, it is about 100%.

Cue Seth Rollins to interrupt, saying that Lashley looks great, but not as great as he does. Rollins talks about how Lashley is champion right now but he knows someone who can take the title. MVP threatens Rollins with Lashley violence but here is Riddle, in a toga, to interrupt. Riddle thinks the Elimination Chamber is like last week’s quiz bowl (Rollins isn’t sure) because he remembers being locked in a gas station bathroom. When the security guard let him out, Riddle knew he could do anything. Imagine him as the WWE Champion to go with his Tag Team Titles when he and Randy Orton win them back soon.

Riddle invites the two of them to the toga party but here is Austin Theory to interrupt. Vince McMahon has taught him so many things that he can use on Saturday that he has to win. Cue AJ Styles to say he has to win because he needs a defining Wrestlemania moment. Maybe he could walk in as the US Champion (which he can become tonight) and WWE Champion! Riddle says that would be cool, but not as cool as AJ coming to the RKBroga party!

Lashley says he’s the only one who has won an Elimination Chamber and runs down everyone else’s chances. That includes Brock Lesnar, who comes out to interrupt, tips his cowboy hat, and takes his time getting into the ring. Brock takes off the jacket and hat, and puts them on Theory. Lesnar and Lashley go face to face so Theory jumps….well over Lesnar actually. Suplex City ensues as everyone else leaves. Lesnar gets his hat back and uses Theory’s phone for a quick selfie. To be fair, the hat really works for him. This was the latest revolving door segment and as usual, it only kind of succeeded.

The Street Profits run down tonight’s card.

Street Profits vs. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode

We see a clip of Dolph Ziggler coming to NXT and getting in a fight with Tommaso Ciampa. As a result, Ciampa is here on commentary. Ford dropkicks Ziggler at the bell so it’s off to Roode for a swinging Rock Bottom. Ziggler is back in for a shot to the face and his own two but Ford’s kick to the head allows the double (jumping) tags. Dawkins cleans house until Roode catches him with a powerslam for two. Hold on though as Ciampa needs to get up and applaud Ziggler. The threat of a superkick makes Ciampa throw water in Ziggler’s face, leaving Dawkins to Anoint Ziggler. Ford’s frog splash is good for the pin at 2:44.

Post match Ziggler superkicks Ciampa but bails from the Street Profits going after him.

We look back at RKBro winning the Quiz Bowl last week.

We go to the RKBroga party, where Riddle wants to know where Randy Orton is. Queen Zelina thinks it’s for her but Riddle starts a BROGA chant.

Randy Orton is in another locker room and seems to find this dumb. He also wants to be ready for his match against Seth Rollins, because Rollins is always planning things. This is Monday, so Rollins is going to take the RKO.

Rocky Johnson Black History Month video.

We look at Kevin Owens not being able to get into the Elimination Chamber, which hurts him even more because he can’t be WWE Champion in Texas.

According to a fan poll, Owens is LYING about his love of Texas.

Kevin Owens is sad that he can’t be in the Elimination Chamber, but at least that means he doesn’t have to be in the Elimination Chamber in Texas. He can’t stand Texas, just like he can’t stand Indianapolis. Owens is from the intelligent and sophisticated Canada.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Damian Priest

Priest is defending and takes Styles down by the arm to start. A quick slam gives Priest two and we hit a chinlock with a knee in Styles’ back. Styles fights up but the Styles Clash is countered into a flapjack. Something like a Dominator gives Priest two but Styles comes right back with a Pele kick. That’s enough to send them outside, where Priest spinwheel kicks Styles’ leg out in a clever knockdown. Back in and Styles kicks him in the face and loads up the Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Priest grab the ropes. That’s enough to let Priest grab a rollup for the pin to retain at 4:34.

Rating: C+. That was better and I was surprised by the result. Priest needed a win to put him back on the right path and a clean pin over Styles is a good way to get there. The good thing is that Styles can absorb a loss where he gets caught like that a good bit more than Priest, who had been on a pretty nasty run as of late. Now just let him be a monster again and we might be getting somewhere.

Post match, Styles nods at him in respect and shakes Priest’s hand.

We go back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where she is looking a bit more normal, with her hair down and in more regular clothing (though I’m not sure where it would be regular). The therapist says, aside from the incident in the grocery store, last week was good. It was so good, that she has earned a gift. What would she like it to be? Actually she would like the music to stop, but he has something else in mind: Lilly’s unstuffed body, and the stuffing to go with it! She gets a bit shaky but the therapist pulls out a backup, and still constructed, Lilly doll.

Omos vs. Cedric Alexander/Shelton Benjamin

Alexander tries to sneak up on Omos but gets claw shoved into the corner. Shelton comes in and gets beaten down as well, leaving Alexander to get chokeslammed for the pin at 1:34. Total dominance.

We look back at Dana Brooke turning down Reggie’s unspoken offer of romance.

Reggie and Dana Brooke are having a platonic Valentine’s Day dinner but Tamina and Akira Tozawa, in disguise, are here too.

It’s back to the RKBroga party, where Riddle gives Kevin Patrick a pep talk when the Street Profits show up. That means Angelo Dawkins gets to dominate at beer pong, earning himself some cheers.

Adam Pearce is in the ring for a contract signing between Becky Lynch and Lita. After Lita comes to the ring, Becky comes out looking depressed, with much less gaudy clothes than usual and sunglasses on, though she can barely look ahead. Becky sits down and says Lita doesn’t have to do this. She hasn’t slept all week as she can’t imagine doing this against her teenage idol.

Lita asks the fans if she should tear up the contract or sign it and shut Becky up. She isn’t back for one more match but one more run. That’s one more championship run, and the match is happening if Becky wants it to or not. Lita signs, which makes Becky say Lita is pushing her.

Becky gets more serious and says she will do everything to keep the title on her shoulder. Now Lynch signs, so Lita says that it is on her to finish it. The only thing that is ending on Sunday though is the 500 day title reign (not quite) when Lita wins the title. Becky puts her glasses back on and leaves all sad. This was kind of weird and didn’t exactly work, but at least they tried something different.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Gauntlet Match

The winner gets to enter the Elimination Chamber last with Rhea Ripley in at #1 and Nikki Ash is in at #2. We’re joined in progress with Nikki tying her in the ring skirt to hammer away before going with the armbar. Ripley fights up but gets taken right back down into a cravate, which doesn’t do much good. With that broken up, Rhea hits some clotheslines but the Riptide is countered as well. Ash goes up but her crossbody is countered into…something where Ripley drops her. Not that it matters as Riptide finishes Nikki at 4:17.

Liv Morgan is in at #3 (now in much brighter gear) and we hear her talk about how she has been in the Chamber again. She’ll survive again though, just like she always does. We take another break and come back with some rollups getting two each before Morgan hits a running elbow in the corner. The chinlock goes on but Rhea fights up, only to get caught in a hurricanrana faceplant. Back up and Ripley grabs the Prism Trap, sending Ripley away for the escape. A superkick sets up Riptide to get rid of Morgan at 14:04.

Doudrop is #4 and they start by shoving each other a bit. Ripley has to power her way out of a headlock and an exchange of shoulders doesn’t go anywhere. An exchange of headbutts sets up a belly to back suplex to drop Ripley and Doudrop splashes her for two. Ripley is back up and hits a dropkick to put Doudrop down but the standing clothes just wake Doudrop up. Riptide is blocked and Doudrop headbutts her, only to get kicked in the head. A pretty fast Riptide gets rid of Doudrop at 23:48 and Bianca Belair is in at #5.

Back with Ripley in trouble but Belair goes to the apron for her kiss it deal. After backflipping over Ripley, Belair hits a delayed vertical suplex (with some high steps) for two. The abdominal stretch goes on for a good while before Belair hits the handspring moonsault for two more. Belair knocks her outside but gets sent into the steps to put both of them down and we take another break.

Back again with Belair faceplanting her for two but Ripley is right back with a failed Riptide attempt. Belair puts her on top for a slugout with Belair getting the better of things. Another handspring moonsault only hits knees though and Ripley goes up top for a heck of a missile dropkick for two more. The Prism Trap goes on again but Belair rolls out and hits a spinebuster. The KOD finishes Ripley at 40:34…and I guess we’ll find out who is entering the Chamber last on Saturday because that’s it.

Rating: B-. This was a match that got a lot of time and that is a good thing, as sometimes a very long wrestling match is the best thing for a show. Ripley gets to look like a star and while I don’t imagine her having the best chance on Saturday, it was good to see her getting some significant ring time for a change. Belair winning is a perfectly fine way to go, though I was kind of expecting to see the sixth entrant return here. Anyway, good, long match here and that often helps.

Respect is shown post match.

Back at the RKBroga Party, Riddle plays the guitar and sings until the Alpha Academy jumps him from behind. Riddle is left laying, with Chad Gable saying the party is over, bro.

We go back to the restaurant, where R-Truth and company chase after Dana Brooke (with the referee getting some food samples), who hides with Reggie. Dana is rather happy but Reggie wants to take their friendship to the next level. She politely turns him down again, so Reggie rolls her up to win the title. After Reggie and then the regular selection of nitwits mock Brooke, the waiter asks if that will be cash or card. At least the story seems to have ended, for now.

Mysterios vs. Alpha Academy

Non-title. Hold on though, as Chad Gable has to insult the crowd by putting them on double secret probation, even if they are probably already on some kind of probation. Then you have these same people helping RKBro win the Academic Challenge, LIKE IT WAS FAIR! Why were we talking about Michelangelo the turtle instead of the painter? Then there is Dominik, who had to cheat to beat Miz last week. Cue Miz and Maryse for commentary and we take a break before the bell.

We come back joined in progress with Otis splashing Rey, setting up Gable’s suplex for two. Rey fights up without much trouble and hands it off to Dominik for some suplexes and the Eddie Guerrero dance. Gable cuts him off with a tiger suplex for two as Rey makes the save. The Academy is sent outside and we take a break.

Back again with Dominik diving over to make the hot tag to Rey, who headscissors Chad down. Otis has to make a save so Dominik breaks that up, leaving Gable to take a double 619. Rey dives onto Miz at ringside so Dominik goes up for a high crossbody, only to have Gable roll through and grab the tights for the pin at 10:34.

Rating: C. Not too shabby of a tag match here, but the stalling before the match felt like they were trying to fill in time rather than having anything to say. At the same time, the Mysterios continue to be a tale of two wrestlers, as Rey feels fun even in his late 40s and Dominik is just there. Find something new for him, because this isn’t exactly interesting.

Post match Miz throws Dominik outside and gives Rey the Skull Crushing Finale.

Back to Alexa Bliss’ therapy, where the therapist tells her she can go. Bliss even has the replica Lilly doll, which she knows isn’t the real thing. He tells her to always have it by her side and she can have a good life. Before she leaves, she tells Lilly she’s cured and then announces that she’s the final entrant in the Elimination Chamber.

Smackdown Breakdown.

Elimination Chamber rundown.

Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton

Of note: Rollins made his way to the ring, then there was a break, then there was Smackdown Breakdown and the Chamber rundown, or over six and a half minutes ago. We then take ANOTHER break after Orton’s entrance and ring the bell about ten minutes after Rollins made it to the ring in the first place.

We finally get going with Orton taking him into the corner and hammering away, only to get dropped face first onto the top turnbuckle. The Stomp misses though and Orton clotheslines him to the floor. Even commentary knows what’s coming and they are absolutely right as Rollins is dropped onto the announcers’ table. Back in and Orton’s hanging DDT is countered with a backdrop to the floor, setting up Rollins’ knee off the apron.

A suicide dive sends Orton over the announcers’ table and we take a break. Back again with Orton hitting the top rope superplex for a double knockdown. Orton is fine enough to hit the powerslam for two but Rollins is back with a low superkick for two of his own. The Stomp misses and Orton backdrops the Pedigree attempt to the apron. Now the hanging DDT can connect and the RKO connects….as Alpha Academy runs down. Riddle cuts them off but the distraction is enough for Rollins to hit the Stomp for the pin at 15:17.

Rating: C+. It’s a good match between two people who have wrestled each other so many times that they could probably do this in their sleep. The match was mainly about advancing the Tag Team Title feud and I’ll take that over either of them getting a clean pin. Nothing we haven’t seen before, but they know how to do this very well.

Overall Rating: C-. This show was a fine example of what is wrong with Raw most of the time: it doesn’t feel like they have enough material to fill in a three hour show. I’m not sure how many rosters could ever do that on a full time basis, but it’s even harder when the roster has been gutted like this one. They didn’t exactly make me want to see Elimination Chamber, but the show was already set coming into this week. Even after Saturday though, they really need to find something to fill in the time around here, because all the stalling isn’t doing them any favors.

Results
Street Profits b. Dolph Ziggler/Robert Roode – Frog splash to Ziggler
Damian Priest b. AJ Styles – Rollup
Omos b. Shelton Benjamin/Cedric Alexander – Chokeslam to Alexander
Bianca Belair won a gauntlet match last eliminating Rhea Ripley
Alpha Academy b. Mysterio – Rollup with tights to Dominik
Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton – Stomp

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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