Monday Night Raw – August 30, 2021: Best Raw Match In Months And An All Time Disaster

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 30, 2021
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We are on the way to Extreme Rules and that means we need some things to set up for the show. That could take some time, as Raw has a tendency to not exactly rush things. There isn’t much going on with this show though, as we need something other than RKBro and waiting around for Goldberg to show up for the Bobby Lashley rematch. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Damian Priest to get things going. He welcomes us to the show and talks about how he is going to show the title the respect it deserves. We hear about some famous US Champions, including Rey Mysterio, Jeff Hardy and John Cena, because the title’s history is about six years old. That’s unlike WWE Champion Bobby Lashley, who ran away from a challenge last week. Therefore, let’s have an open challenge.

US Title: Damian Priest vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is challenging but hang on because he needs to say he agrees with “Damo”. He promises to kick Priest in the face and take back his title but here is Drew McIntyre to interrupt. McIntyre thinks it’s time for something fresh and new because he has never been US Champion. Priest sounds game but Sheamus gets into it with McIntyre….and here are Bobby Lashley and MVP to interrupt.

The GOLDBERG chants cut MVP off as he tries to talk about Lashley wanted to issue his own open challenge. What’s good for business is Lashley becomes the new US Champion. Now Randy Orton and Riddle interrupt, with Orton saying he thought everything MVP said sucked. Riddle: “But not like a Rumba, because that’s what it’s supposed to do.” Orton thinks Lashley is a greedy son of a b**** and Riddle asks how you would even hold a second title.

Lashley says he could use a second title, but maybe it should be the Tag Team Titles. Riddle says the word of the day tonight is Open Challenge, they can have an open challenge one on one against Bobby Lashley and MVP. Orton tries to explain the concept of an open challenge but MVP says they accept. McIntyre, Sheamus and Priest are ready to fight so here are Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville to interrupt. We’ll have a triple threat match for the title, plus the Tag Team Title match. We’re STILL not done though as Rhea Ripley comes out…for her scheduled match. Well that’s less exciting.

Rhea Ripley vs. Shayna Baszler

Nikki Ash (uninvited it seems) and Nia Jax are here too. Hold on though as Nia promises to crush both Rhea and Nikki, just like she’ll do to Charlotte tonight. Shayna takes Rhea to the mat to start and cranks on an armbar. Some kicks to the head rock Ripley but she grabs a small package for two. Ripley tires the hand in the ring skirt and stomps away to send us to a break.

Back with Baszler kicking at the arm some more but Rhea tells her to bring it on. Some clotheslines and a headbutt rock Baszler and a basement dropkick connects. Baszler is fine enough to try a cross armbreaker but can’t get it on before a rope is reached. The Kirifuda Clutch is broken up as well but Jax crushes Ash on the floor. The distraction lets Baszler grab a pretty awesome torture rack into a rollup, which Ripley counters into a small package for the pin at 10:30.

Rating: C. The frustrations continue around here as they were having a pretty good match and the rollup Baszler used was cool. That’s where the good ends though, as this was still about Nikki being around and Jax getting to beat both of them up rather than letting Ripley have a moment to shine. Why is that so much to ask?

Post match Jax Samoan drops Ripley, just to make sure you remember who the star is.

The Viking Raiders are ready for you to join the raid.

Viking Raiders vs. Jinder Mahal/Veer

Shanky is here with Mahal and Veer. Ivar and Veer start things off with Veer hitting a heck of a Thesz press to take Ivar down in a hurry. Mahal comes in to stomp away, setting up the chinlock, because that’s what you expect from a former World Champion. Ivar fights up and brings in Erik to clean house. Everything breaks down in a hurry and Ivar Cannonballs off the apron to take everyone out. That leaves Mahal to get caught in the Viking Experience for the surprise pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. The match didn’t have much time to go anywhere, but it gives me some hope that Mahal took a clean loss in a pretty nothing tag match. Maybe WWE is finally realizing that Mahal just isn’t that interesting and there is no point in wasting him in a higher level on the card. As has been the case since he returned: there is a place for him in WWE, but it isn’t that high up on the card despite what WWE thinks.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Damian Priest vs. Drew McIntyre

Priest is defending and it’s Sheamus getting stomped down in the corner to start. Sheamus is sent outside for a step up flip dive from Priest, with McIntyre joining in for some chops. A backdrop sends Sheamus over the barricade and into the timekeeper’s area, leaving us with McIntyre vs. Priest as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting a top rope clothesline for two on Priest but the Irish Curse is countered into something like a triangle choke.

That’s broken up and the Irish Curse sets up some shots to the face, even with Priest going for the mask. The forearms to the chest keep Priest in trouble and he crashes out to the floor. McIntyre gets back in though and some clotheslines put Sheamus down. The Futureshock is countered though and McIntyre is sent shoulder first into the post. It’s Priest getting back in for a spinwheel kick to drop Sheamus but McIntyre clotheslines Priest to the floor.

That leaves McIntyre to hit the big flip dive onto the two of them for a bit of a breather. Back in and McIntyre plants Priest with a Michinoku Driver for two. Priest is sat on top but Sheamus knocks McIntyre into the Tree of Woe. The big situp German superplex (nearly a Tower of Doom this time) sends everyone flying though and we take another break. Back again with McIntyre and Sheamus slugging it out until Sheamus gets two off the Alabama Slam.

Priest comes back in to break up the Texas Cloverleaf on McIntyre, setting up South of Heaven for two on Sheamus. McIntyre and Priest slug it out again until Priest loads up the Reckoning. Sheamus breaks it up with a Brogue Kick though and McIntyre rolls Sheamus up for two. Futureshock drops Sheamus but he cuts off the Claymore with a knee to the face for a heck of a near fall.

The fans deem this awesome as Sheamus hits a super White Noise for two more with Priest making the save (which you couldn’t really see until the camera changed to a wide shot). Priest drops Sheamus onto the turnbuckle and ducks a Claymore so McIntyre kicks Sheamus’ head off. The Glasgow Kiss rocks Priest but he counters a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into the Reckoning to retain at 21:30.

Rating: B+. I can always go with three big bruisers beating each other up for over twenty minutes and this was a heck of a match. They had me believing that you might see a surprise title change and that’s the idea of something like this. Priest pinning McIntyre means a lot for him and they all looked quite awesome. Sometimes the solution to a lot of your problems is to have a good, long match and that’s what they did here.

Post match, Priest and McIntyre shake hands in a show of respect.

We look back at Goldberg losing to Bobby Lashley at Summerslam, because that’s how you keep the momentum going.

Goldberg says he needs knee surgery but he’s coming for Lashley’s soul.

Reggie is in the park when he sees R-Truth in a wig and Akira Tozawa in a dog costume. The chase is on but Reggie uses a Frisbee to escape. Reggie Parkours away but they corner him on a bridge. Tozawa crawls after him like a dog but Reggie flips away again. Tozawa thinks the dog is a bad idea and leaves.

Video on Eva Marie vs. Doudrop, with Eva bringing her in but Doudrop not liking her and rebelling.

Eva Marie vs. Doudrop

Doudrop runs her over, sits on Marie’s chest and hits the basement crossbody for her own count. No match.

Doudrop announces herself as the winner as Marie isn’t sure what happened.

Charlotte laughs off the idea of Nia Jax squashing her.

Karrion Kross vs. Humberto Carrillo

Carrillo starts fast with a crossbody but Kross clotheslines his head off to take over (he hit him so hard that Smith thought Kross was fighting Ricochet). Kross runs him over again and sends Carrillo flying with a northern lights suplex. The chinlock goes on but Carrillo makes the comeback, only to get forearmed out of the air. The Doomsday Saito into the Krossjacket finishes Carrillo at 4:18.

Rating: D+. Near total squash here and that makes it so much more frustrating. WWE clearly knows how to push someone like Kross (in-ring gear aside) but they let him waste a few weeks with those early losses. It continues to make WWE look like they have no idea what they’re doing week to week and that is going to cause a problem in a hurry.

Nia Jax promises to do something painful with Charlotte’s invisible crown.

Riddle thinks a win over Bobby Lashley/MVP would make for a good win on RKBro’s resume….but how do you make a resume? Randy Orton says just be a good tag partner and let him do his thing. That’s cool with Riddle, who lists off some more of his own skills. Talking and scootering are included.

Charlotte vs. Nia Jax

Non-title and Charlotte bails from a charging Jax to start. Back in and Charlotte dodges again before slapping her in the face. Jax sends her into the corner but misses a running hip attack. Charlotte grabs a headlock to get as far as she can before switching to a dragon sleeper over the ropes. Jax is right back with a spinebuster (THUD) and Charlotte needs a breather on the floor. They change places and Charlotte takes her down with a dive as we take a break.

Back with Nia dropping Charlotte hard in a belly to back drop (not suplex, but just a drop), only to miss a charge in the corner. The moonsault hits knees and Nia hits a Samoa drop. The running legdrop misses and Charlotte kicks her in the face. Charlotte gets on her back for a delayed reverse DDT for two more. With nothing else working, Charlotte starts in on the knee, including the DDT to take it down. Charlotte mocks Jax’s hip based material and gets kicked into the corner. Back up and Jax hits one of the hardest powerbombs I’ve seen in a long time to win at 13:46.

Rating: F. This was horrible in every sense of the word and I’m not sure how much they were working together at various points. Charlotte looked completely bored, Jax could barely move, and Charlotte got dropped hard more than once. Simply put, Jax cannot go this long at this size and it showed bad here. She is nearly immobile and can only do so much. Throw in Charlotte looking like she would rather be having gum surgery and this was a total disaster. Have fun with the Extreme Rules rematch!

We recap RKBro’s celebration last week.

John Morrison’s match vs. Miz has been canceled for no apparent reason, but he wants to prove he can act anyway. Therefore, he’ll face Omos tonight. Omos: “Sucks to be you.”

John Morrison vs. Omos

Morrison’s Drip Stick is smacked away and he can’t quite strike away at the giant. Omos shoves him outside so it’s time to bust out the Parkour. A bit of a slip lets Omos hit a clothesline, setting up the double chokeslam for the pin at 2:03. This was really not good while it lasted.

Xavier Woods vs. AJ Styles

Woods starts fast with a Russian legsweep and AJ needs to head outside. That means a big dive from Woods but AJ gets in a shot to the face back inside. The threat of the Phenomenal Forearm sends Woods outside so AJ hits a hard dropkick through the ropes. Back in and AJ starts in on the leg, including something like a Stunner out of the corner.

Woods grabs a rollup for two, followed by a northern lights suplex for the same. AJ can’t get the Styles Clash as Woods flips out and ties him in the Tree of Woe. The dropkick in the corner gives Woods an awkward looking two (it’s like they couldn’t get the cover right) but Styles is right back with the Calf Crusher for the tap at 7:13.

Rating: C-. This was another awkward one and I’m not sure if it had to do with the crowd not being thrilled after Charlotte vs. Jax. Styles beating Woods is fine as it isn’t like losing to a multiple time World Champion is some kind of a career killer. Not a bad match, but it seemed more like a way to get Styles onto the show than anything else.

Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. MVP/Bobby Lashley

RKBro is defending and AJ Styles, with Omos behind him, is on commentary. MVP drives Riddle into the corner to start but Riddle is right back with some shots to the face. That’s enough to put MVP on the floor, setting up the big springboard Floating Bro as we take a fast break.

We come back with Lashley working Riddle over until a hot tag brings in Orton. The hanging DDT hits Lashley but MVP is still legal and gets in a cheap shot. It’s back to Riddle for a knee to Lashley, setting up the Floating Bro for two. Everything breaks down and AJ decks Lashley, only to have to deal with Omos. The distraction lets Riddle hit a jumping knee to MVP, setting up the Floating Bro to retain at 10:49.

Rating: B-. Now this was more like it with much more of an action packed match. They had a bunch of stuff happening throughout and the ending was the right call. There wasn’t much doubt about a possible title change, but at least they got in and did their thing with some time. Not a great match, but it was good enough to get the show out of a bit of trouble.

Post match Lashley goes after Riddle but walks into an RKO to end the show. Orton vs. Lashley could be interesting.

Overall Rating: D+. I don’t remember the last time I saw a Raw this up and down. The triple threat match was one of the best matches Raw has had in months (if not longer) but the Jax vs. Charlotte match might be the worst WWE match I’ve seen in ten years (ignoring matches with people who have no business being in a ring). The rest of the show wasn’t exactly good either, and the result was another week where I was wondering how bad things could get. Raw continues to be a miss, as they seem happy with running off in whatever direction they want and not caring how bad things get.

Results
Rhea Ripley b. Shayna Baszler – Rollup
Viking Raiders b. Jinder Mahal/Veer – Viking Experience to Veer
Damian Priest b. Sheamus and Drew McIntyre – Reckoning to McIntyre
Karrion Kross b. Humberto Carrillo – Krossjacket
Nia Jax b. Charlotte – Powerbomb
Omos b. John Morrison – Chokeslam
AJ Styles b. Xavier Woods – Calf Crusher
RKBro b. Bobby Lashley/MVP – Floating Bro to MVP

 

 

 

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Main Event – August 26, 2021: They Can Do It

Main Event
Date: August 26, 2021
Location: Perchanga Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

We’re done with Summerslam and now it is time to get back to normal around here. Granted Main Event has been at normal for a long time now so maybe we can get a little change of pace, even if it does not last long. I’m not exactly thrilled by either option but such is life on this show. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Jeff Hardy vs. Shelton Benjamin

They slap hands to start and Benjamin runs him over with a shoulder. Neither can hit their finisher early so Hardy sends him into four top turnbuckles in a row. Another Twist of Fate attempt is countered and Benjamin runs the corner for a knee to the face. We hit the reverse chinlock but Hardy fights up in a hurry and knocks Benjamin down for a breather. Hardy’s leg trap rollup gets two but Benjamin hits a powerslam for the same. The Twist of Fate is countered into a German suplex to give Benjamin two more but now the Twist connects. The Swanton finishes Benjamin at 5:22.

Rating: C+. Sometimes you need to have two skilled veterans go out there and do their thing, which is what you got here. The match was entertaining and hard hitting with both guys getting to do their thing for a few minutes. They aren’t going to get to do that on Raw every week, but at least they had their chance here, and it worked.

We look at Bobby Lashley retaining the WWE Title over Goldberg at Summerslam due to referee stoppage. Yeah it still doesn’t work.

From Raw.

Here are MVP and Bobby Lashley (in a snappy orange jacket) to get things going. After another recap of Goldberg vs. Lashley, because Raw needs more montages than a Rocky movie, MVP says he’d like to explain what happened on Sunday at Summerslam. We all know about Goldberg’s extraordinary history but not so much about his recently unextraordinary history.

What we didn’t know was that his son would be at Summerslam. Maybe he needed a good luck charm or something but Goldberg did score a couple of two counts. Either way, Lashley beat up Goldberg and won by referee stoppage. Goldberg quit like a coward and Lashley would have done that to anyone, including everyone here in San Diego. Lashley doesn’t owe Goldberg or his son an apology but here is Damian Priest to interrupt.

Priest doesn’t care about Lashley and MVP calling people a coward. Well Priest isn’t jumping him from behind and the challenge is on for tonight. Lashley seems interested but MVP tries to talk him out of it. Priest suggests that Lashley is the coward for not saying yes and the fight is on. A big boot sends Lashley outside so MVP says the match is on.

Damian Priest vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Lashley starts fast with the shoulders in the corner. A running shot to the face in the corner rocks Priest again but he makes the comeback….and here is Sheamus to jump him for the DQ at 1:28.

Post match the beatdown is on but Drew McIntyre runs in for the big brawl. A suplex puts Lashley onto the announcers’ table and I think we have a Teddy Long special.

Damian Priest/Damian Priest vs. Bobby Lashley/Sheamus

Joined in progress with McIntyre hammering on Sheamus until he gets taken into the wrong corner. Lashley comes in for a hard whip into the corner but McIntyre comes out with a clothesline. A shot to the throat cuts McIntyre off but he gets over for the tag to Priest anyway. Lashley takes him outside in a hurry and it’s a hard ram into the post. Back from a break with Priest fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock but Lashley comes in for a head and arm choke.

That’s enough to drag Priest back into the corner for the tag back to Sheamus as the beating continues. Priest elbows his way to freedom though and the hot tag brings in McIntyre to clean house. The numbers game lets Lashley knock McIntyre down but the missed charge in the post puts Lashley in more trouble. Sheamus comes back in and catches McIntyre on top for a super White Noise and a near fall. Priest comes back in to clean house with the variety of kicks but Priest knees him in the face as Lashley walks out. McIntyre comes back in and Claymores Sheamus for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Nice power tag match here but I’m more curious about where this is heading for Lashley. They aren’t going to do another match with Goldberg at Extreme Rules, but a four way hoss fight between these four could be an interesting way to go. At least Priest didn’t lose in his first match as champion either.

Next week on Raw: Sheamus vs. Bobby Lashley.

Stills of Summerslam.

Money in the Bank is coming to Allegiant Stadium over next 4th of July weekend.

From Raw.

Here is Charlotte for her championship speech. She told us it would happen and now she has her twelfth title. There is no one as talented as she is and she is going to hold this title as long as she wants. She doesn’t need friends, family or the WWE Universe because she only needs the title.

That’s enough for some pyro to go off and Charlotte talks about how great she looked in the mirror this morning. She knows how amazing she is and she is here because she is starting the new Women’s Evolution (there’s a Stephanie McMahon joke in there somewhere). Long live the Queen.

Alexa Bliss interrupting Charlotte is left out.

We look at Becky Lynch returning at Summerslam and beating Bianca Belair to win the Smackdown Women’s Title.

Viking Raiders vs. Lucha House Party

Haven’t seen the Raiders in a bit. Lince rolls away from Erik and hammers away to start so Erik runs him over with a shoulder. Ivar comes in for a shot to the face and a pair of knees gives Erik two. A backbreaker into a gutbuster looks to set up a powerbomb but Dorado hurricanranas his way to freedom. Everything breaks down and the Vikings toss Lince at Metalik to knock the latter outside.

Ivar gets slammed onto Metalik and we take a break. Back with Dorado hitting the Golden Rewind and handing it back to Metalik to pick up the pace. A running headscissors puts Erik on the floor for the big dive, followed by a splash off of Dorado’s shoulders back inside. Dorado adds a moonsault for two but it’s back to Ivar to clean house. This doesn’t take long as the Viking Experience finishes Metalik (ignore Erik not being legal) at 9:03.

Rating: C+. This was more like it as there is something to be said about having the Vikings beat the fire out of a pair of smaller guys. The House Party was doing their thing as well though and it made for a pretty nice match. Certainly better than what you usually get around here and I could go for the Raiders getting another push on Raw. It’s not like the division has any depth to speak of at the moment.

We look at RKBro winning the Raw Tag Team Titles.

Elias is still dead.

From Raw.

Here is Riddle for the RKBro title celebration, complete with balloons and a red mat. Randy Orton comes out, looking rather annoyed. After a bunch of pyro and a special introduction as champions, Riddle has a present for Orton: his own scooter, complete with his name and tassels! Cue AJ Styles and Omos, with AJ calling this stupid and promising to beat Riddle right here, right now. Riddle admits that he lost last week but that was before he had Orton in his corner. Riddle promises to win with the three most dangerous letters in wrestling: RKBRO! Orton looks like he has a headache.

Post break, we have a few recaps, including announcements of Bobby Lashley vs. Sheamus, Doudrop vs. Eva Marie and John Morrison vs. Miz for next week.

Riddle vs. AJ Styles

Omos and Randy Orton are here too. Styles charges straight at him and they go to the mat for the technical off. That’s broken up and Riddle looks just fine with the whole thing. Riddle kicks him to the apron and then out to the floor but the springboard is broken up. AJ still can’t get anything going as Riddle rolls some gutwrench suplexes for two. A sunset flip can’t set up the Styles Clash so Riddle hurricanranas him over the top for the big crash to the floor instead.

We take a break and come back with Riddle kicking him in the head, setting up the Broton for two. The bridging German suplex gets the same but Riddle is favoring his hamstring. AJ is back with the middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT for two of his own. The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up but AJ gets him into the Calk Crusher on the bad leg. That’s reversed into the BroMission but AJ flips back for another near fall.

Riddle goes up but another Omos distraction breaks it up (just like last week). This time Orton goes after Omos, earning himself a toss into the barricade. A Burning Hammer gives AJ two as Orton unloads on Omos with the scooter. The distraction lets Riddle hit a jumping knee and the Bro Derek for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: C+. The talent lone in this one is going to make it work but Orton getting in there and helping Riddle out made things that much better (especially with the scooter). Riddle gaining energy from Orton makes for such a great story and I’ve liked the whole thing. It was a good main event and probably the best match on the show, which shouldn’t be that surprising.

Post match RKBro poses and AJ gets the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. They covered some of the good stuff, they avoided most of the bad and the two original matches both delivered. That’s how Main Event can work, though it happens so infrequently that it is easy to forget. What we got here was a fine usage of about 45 minutes as WWE has a lot of places to go now that Summerslam is over.

 

 

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Monday Night Raw – August 23, 2021: I See The Line In The Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 23, 2021
Location: Pechanga Arena, San Diego, California
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s the night after Summerslam and we are going to be dealing with a lot of the fallout. We have a long road to Extreme Rules and there were a lot of things at Summerslam worth talking about. The problem is that most of them had to do with Smackdown so we might not be in for much going on. Let’s get to it.

Here is Summerslam if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Summerslam.

Here are MVP and Bobby Lashley (in a snappy orange jacket) to get things going. After another recap of Goldberg vs. Lashley, because Raw needs more montages than a Rocky movie, MVP says he’d like to explain what happened on Sunday at Summerslam. We all know about Goldberg’s extraordinary history but not so much about his recently unextraordinary history.

What we didn’t know was that his son would be at Summerslam. Maybe he needed a good luck charm or something but Goldberg did score a couple of two counts. Either way, Lashley beat up Goldberg and won by referee stoppage. Goldberg quit like a coward and Lashley would have done that to anyone, including everyone here in San Diego. Lashley doesn’t owe Goldberg or his son an apology but here is Damian Priest to interrupt.

Priest doesn’t care about Lashley and MVP calling people a coward. Well Priest isn’t jumping him from behind and the challenge is on for tonight. Lashley seems interested but MVP tries to talk him out of it. Priest suggests that Lashley is the coward for not saying yes and the fight is on. A big boot sends Lashley outside so MVP says the match is on.

Damian Priest vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title and Lashley starts fast with the shoulders in the corner. A running shot to the face in the corner rocks Priest again but he makes the comeback….and here is Sheamus to jump Priest for the DQ at 1:28.

Post match the beatdown is on but Drew McIntyre runs in for the big brawl. A suplex puts Lashley onto the announcers’ table and I think we have a Teddy Long special.

Damian Priest/Drew McIntyre vs. Bobby Lashley/Sheamus

Joined in progress with McIntyre hammering on Sheamus until he gets taken into the wrong corner. Lashley comes in for a hard whip into the corner but McIntyre comes out with a clothesline. A shot to the throat cuts McIntyre off but he gets over for the tag to Priest anyway. Lashley takes him outside in a hurry and it’s a hard ram into the post. Back from a break with Priest fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock but Lashley comes in for a head and arm choke.

That’s enough to drag Priest back into the corner for the tag back to Sheamus as the beating continues. Priest elbows his way to freedom though and the hot tag brings in McIntyre to clean house. The numbers game lets Lashley knock McIntyre down but the missed charge in the post puts Lashley in more trouble. Sheamus comes back in and catches McIntyre on top for a super White Noise and a near fall. Priest comes back in to clean house with the variety of kicks but Priest knees him in the face as Lashley walks out. McIntyre comes back in and Claymores Sheamus for the pin at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Nice power tag match here but I’m more curious about where this is heading for Lashley. They aren’t going to do another match with Goldberg at Extreme Rules, but a four way hoss fight between these four could be an interesting way to go. At least Priest didn’t lose in his first match as champion either.

We look at Doudrop turning on Eva Marie at Summerslam.

Doudrop says she made a mistake associating with Eva Marie but she likes the name Doudrop and that is who she is. Marie rolls in an anvil case to hit her in the ribs and the beatdown is on. Marie puts a boot on her and says this is Evaloution.

Karrion Kross vs. Ricochet

Kross now has what looks like a bedazzled hockey mask during his entrance. Once the bell rings, he has a big studded X over his chest, looking like the back of a pair of suspenders on either side. Ricochet gets knocked into the corner to start and a clothesline cuts off his comeback bid. A powerbomb into the Doomsday Saito sets up the Krossjacket choke for the fast win at 1:18. Dominant win, but the entrance gear was too laughable to make it matter.

Backstage at Summerslam, Big E. and Logan Paul interrupted a Baron Corbin interview. Paul suggested that Corbin was an a******.

Sheamus and Bobby Lashley argue in the back and have to be separated.

It’s time for MoistTV because THEY REALLY ARE RUNNING WITH THIS. John Morrison brings out Logan Paul, who tries to keep the crowd from killing him. Morrison asks what is next for the Paul Brothers but here is Miz to cut them off. Miz says he knows he’s Paul’s favorite star but Paul says he is more of a New Day fan. Paul talks about getting to put Floyd Mayweather on his highlight reel and this weekend, his brother is boxing former UFC fighter Tyron Woodley.

Miz isn’t impressed and asks what round Paul’s brother is getting knocked out in. Miz: “Bettors want to know.” Paul says his brother is doing the knocking out and threatens to knock Miz out. Morrison has to separate them and says that Miz always makes everything about himself. Miz goes on a rant about how this is a spinoff of MizTV and Paul leaves while the two of them argue. The argument is on, with Morrison accusing Miz of faking his knee injury. Cue Xavier Woods, who high fives Paul on the stage and it’s match time. I love Miz and Morrison, but they need to go away for a long, long time.

Miz vs. Xavier Woods

John Morrison is here with Miz. Feeling out process to start until Woods, in NWO Wolfpac gear (as the Scott Hall tributes continue) headlock takeovers him over. Back up and Woods starts going after the knee, including some shots in the corner. Hold on though as Miz has to be checked on by the referee, allowing Miz to pop up and knee Woods in the ribs. They head outside with Woods being sent hard into the barricade, allowing Morrison to spray a bunch of water on the floor. As expected, Miz is sent sliding into the steps and we take a break.

Back with Miz firing off the YES Kicks but the big one is countered into a rollup for two. A neckbreaker out of the corner gives Woods a breather and he fights up with the variety of strikes. Miz is knocked outside for the big running flip dive. Back in and a high crossbody gives Woods two but Miz loads up the Skull Crushing Finale. Morrison gets on the apron for no logical reason with the Drip Stick. That misses everyone and the distraction means the referee doesn’t see Miz’s rollup. Instead, Woods grabs a small package for the pin at 11:41.

Rating: C-. The match itself was good as Woods and Miz could probably have a passable match in their sleep, but then they had to do the stupid gags to put the focus on anything else. It wasn’t a great match by any means, but this was a good example of how Miz and Morrison’s shtick has gotten really old because of how long it has been going on.

Post match Miz and Morrison argue but finally seem to get on the same page. The Drip Sticks are loaded up but Miz jumps Morrison to finally split things up. The Skull Crushing Finale leaves Morrison laying.

We look at Charlotte regaining the Raw Women’s Title at Summerslam.

Nikki Ash came up to Rhea Ripley to ask if they could be partners tonight. Ripley is in. This might be more dramatic if the match had not already been announced.

Earlier today Reggie tried to go get some ice cream but Akira Tozawa and R-Truth attacked. Reggie jumped into a tree, jumped out, and landed on top of an ice cream truck. Reggie jumped into the truck and they got away.

We look at RKBro winning the Tag Team Titles at Summerslam.

Riddle comes up to Randy Orton and says he understands Orton not being a hugger. He knows Orton is going to love their celebration tonight, but Orton says he isn’t quite into it. Just do him one favor: don’t do anything stupid. Riddle: “Would I do something stupid?”

Earlier today, Mansoor asked Mustafa Ali to not interfere no matter what. Ali seemed cool with it but didn’t seem to think Mansoor was making the right move.

Jinder Mahal vs. Mansoor

Veer, Shanky and Mustafa Ali are all here too. Mahal hammers away to start but Mansoor snaps his neck across the top. A high crossbody gives Mansoor two but Mahal forearms him down again. The chinlock goes on as Ali doesn’t seem pleased. A superkick rocks Mansoor and Ali stays unpleased. Mahal is so annoyed that he unloads in the corner for the DQ at 2:17. This was mostly a squash and that isn’t exactly making Mansoor look like a star.

Post match the beatdown is on and Ali only gets in after the villains leave.

Drew McIntyre and Damian Priest seem to get along and are off for some drinks. Er, pints. Yeah pints.

Here is Charlotte for her championship speech. She told us it would happen and now she has her twelfth title. There is no one as talented as she is and she is going to hold this title as long as she wants. She doesn’t need friends, family or the WWE Universe because she only needs the title.

That’s enough for some pyro to go off and Charlotte talks about how great she looked in the mirror this morning. She knows how amazing she is and she is here because she is starting the new Women’s Evolution (there’s a Stephanie McMahon joke in there somewhere). Long live the Queen….but here are Alexa Bliss and Lillie, who are just here to say hi.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler argue again, this time over Nia Jax teaming with Charlotte last week.

Elias walks away from his grave. This time he’s wearing a hat.

Nikki Ash/Rhea Ripley vs. Shayna Baszler/Nia Jax

Baszler takes Ripley to the mat to start but the big stomp on the arm is broken up. Nikki comes in for a rollup on Baszler and a headscissors sends Baszler into the corner. Now Baszler can stomp her down though and it’s off to Jax for a fireman’s carry drop. Baszler drops Ripley and knees Nikki in the head as we take a break.

Back with Ash fighting out of Jax’s chinlock but getting caught in a side slam/running knee combination. Jax hits a running hip attack into a Stink Face but the Banzai Drop is broken up. The hot tag brings Ripley back in and house is cleaned, including the missile dropkick. Everything breaks down and Nikki flips down onto Nia, leaving Riptide to finish Baszler at 10:36.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was competent, but this was a good example of the lack of character work in WWE. There is no logical reason for Jax and Baszler to keep being a team. They haven’t won anything of note in a good while, they have literally argued since they started teaming, and Baszler loses over and over. Why are these two still a team? The answer would be because the script says they are, and that has been obvious for a long time now.

Oh and how cool is it that Ripley got her token three month title reign, never pinned Charlotte, and has now been dropped into a tag team while Lillie and Bliss go after the title? That is a story that could have been taking place without the title while Ripley got to be the star for a bit, but that would mean Charlotte isn’t the star so the last few months have basically been erased.

We look back at the Miz/John Morrison switch.

Morrison says that’s it for all of the shows and music videos, because he wants Miz next week.

Here is Riddle for the RKBro title celebration, complete with balloons and a red mat. Randy Orton comes out, looking rather annoyed. After a bunch of pyro and a special introduction as champions, Riddle has a present for Orton: his own scooter, complete with his name and tassels! Cue AJ Styles and Omos, with AJ calling this stupid and promising to beat Riddle right here, right now. Riddle admits that he lost last week but that was before he had Orton in his corner. Riddle promises to win with the three most dangerous letters in wrestling: RKBRO! Orton looks like he has a headache.

Post break, we have a few recaps, including announcements of Bobby Lashley vs. Sheamus, Doudrop vs. Eva Marie and John Morrison vs. Miz for next week.

Riddle vs. AJ Styles

Omos and Randy Orton are here too. Styles charges straight at him and they go to the mat for the technical off. That’s broken up and Riddle looks just fine with the whole thing. Riddle kicks him to the apron and then out to the floor but the springboard is broken up. AJ still can’t get anything going as Riddle rolls some gutwrench suplexes for two. A sunset flip can’t set up the Styles Clash so Riddle hurricanranas him over the top for the big crash to the floor instead.

We take a break and come back with Riddle kicking him in the head, setting up the Broton for two. The bridging German suplex gets the same but Riddle is favoring his hamstring. AJ is back with the middle rope moonsault into the reverse DDT for two of his own. The Phenomenal Forearm is broken up but AJ gets him into the Calk Crusher on the bad leg. That’s reversed into the BroMission but AJ flips back for another near fall.

Riddle goes up but another Omos distraction breaks it up (just like last week). This time Orton goes after Omos, earning himself a toss into the barricade. A Burning Hammer gives AJ two as Orton unloads on Omos with the scooter. The distraction lets Riddle hit a jumping knee and the Bro Derek for the pin at 14:22.

Rating: C+. The talent lone in this one is going to make it work but Orton getting in there and helping Riddle out made things that much better (especially with the scooter). Riddle gaining energy from Orton makes for such a great story and I’ve liked the whole thing. It was a good main event and probably the best match on the show, which shouldn’t be that surprising.

Post match RKBro poses and AJ gets the RKO to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well there was nothing big and new and the only major change seems to be in the Tag Team Title scene. What interests me is that you really can see a dividing line on Raw with the good and the bad. In essence, it’s almost anything involving the women’s division and Miz/John Morrison on the bad side, and just about everything else is on the good side (with Jinder Mahal in the middle depending on how high he is on the card).

The problem is the stuff that is bad is REALLY bad and it drags everything else down. If you had the opening matches, Kross’ squash, the women’s tag (maybe) and the main event, you have a pretty watchable show. There is a path to making Raw a watchable show. The problem is that it involves getting rid of a lot of bad things and I don’t think WWE sees them as negatives. Until that changes, Raw isn’t getting any better in any significant way.

Results
Damian Priest b. Bobby Lashley via DQ when Sheamus interfered
Drew McIntyre/Damian Priest b. Bobby Lashley/Sheamus – Claymore to Sheamus
Karrion Kross b. Ricochet – Krossjacket choke
Xavier Woods b. Miz – Small package
Mansoor b. Jinder Mahal via DQ when Mahal attacked in the corner
Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler – Riptide to Baszler
Riddle b. AJ Styles – Bro Derek

 

 

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Summerslam 2021: They Went Big

Summerslam 2021
Date: August 21, 2021
Location: Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Pat McAfee, Michael Cole, Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re back in front of a full stadium and that could make things interesting. Throw in the fact that this is on a Saturday for once and there is a different energy to the whole thing. We have a full on dream match main event as John Cena is challenging Roman Reigns for the Universal Title so at least the big match at the end should be good. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Big E. vs. Baron Corbin

A contest winner gets to read the introductions. Corbin has stolen Big E.’s Money in the Bank briefcase but doesn’t own it. Big E. suplexes him down to start and then does it again for a bonus. The apron splash misses though and Corbin sends him shoulder first into the post twice in a row. Corbin’s chokeslam is countered into a Stretch Muffler of all things but Corbin slips out. Corbin grabs the briefcase and tries to run off again but gets speared through the ropes instead. Back in and the Big Ending finishes Corbin at 6:31.

Rating: C. This was a quick way to get the briefcase back in Big E.’s hands and possibly tease a cash in for later. I’m not sold on Big E. cashing in on Roman Reigns but maybe on a downed Bobby Lashley? Corbin’s downward spiral continues and I’m kind of curious to see how far they can go with this whole thing.

The opening video has a poker/gambling theme and looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Raw Tag Team Titles: RKBro vs. Omos/AJ Styles

RKBro is challenging after officially reuniting on Raw. Riddle goes after Omos to start and gets tossed down in a hurry as the strikes don’t work. The sleeper doesn’t do much either as Omos isn’t playing around here. AJ comes in and it’s time to kick away at Riddle. That doesn’t last long either as Riddle dives over and makes the tag.

Orton unloads on Styles and even kicks Omos off the apron to the floor. The hanging DDT is broken up though and Omos chokeslams Riddle onto the apron. That’s enough of a distraction for AJ to snap Orton’s throat across the ropes. A moonsault takes Riddle down on the floor but the Phenomenal Forearm doesn’t work. Orton ducks and grabs the RKO for the pin and the titles at 6:31.

Rating: C+. They didn’t bother doing anything but try to have a feel good moment here and that worked out well. Omos and Styles have done everything they need to do with the titles and it is a good move to switch things over. RKBro is the best thing going on Raw so give them the good moment and let things move on.

We recap Alexa Bliss and Lillie putting Doudrop in a trance and Eva Marie slapping her out of it.

Alexa Bliss vs. Eva Marie

Doudrop is here with Marie. Bliss drops to the mat to freak Marie out but she gets knocked down anyway. Hold on though as Marie has to go and slap Lillie, which sends Bliss into a panic. Lillie is put back in her place but Bliss misses Twisted Bliss, allowing Marie to get some near falls. Bliss grabs a quick Sister Abigail DDT for the pin at 3:49.

Rating: F. It’s still the worst thing going in WWE today and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. The Lillie doll alone is one thing but the powers are taking it to a new low. It didn’t help that the match was horrible because neither of these two are very good in the ring. This is probably the low point of the night and I don’t think that’s any surprise.

Post match Doudrop announces Marie as the loser and steals her robe.

RKBro is ready to defend the titles no matter what. Orton still isn’t thrilled though.

US Title: Sheamus vs. Damian Priest

Sheamus is defending and headlocks Priest down to start. Back up and Priest rocks him with a shot to the face, followed by a kick to the chest. Sheamus gets knocked to the floor and the big flip dive mostly connects to drop him again. A spinning kick t to the face is countered into a powerbomb into the post to put Priest down for a change. Back in and we hit the chinlock to keep Priest down as he seems a bit shaken up from the flip dive. Sheamus’ powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana but Priest gets knocked back to the apron.

The ten forearms are broken up and Priest snaps off a running tornado DDT. The top rope spinwheel kick gives Priest two (that looked good) but Sheamus counters the Reckoning. Sheamus goes up but has to counter a chokeslam attempt into a neck snap across the rope. A top rope clothesline sets up the Alabama Slam for two and Sheamus hits a headbutt. The Brogue Kick takes too long though and Priest grabs South Of Heaven for two.

Priest tries a springboard but dives into a jumping knee to give Sheamus a near fall and the annoyed reaction. A rollup is countered into a kneebar to put Priest in trouble but he does the angry zombie situp. Sheamus’ mask is ripped off and Priest nails another spinwheel kick. The Reckoning gives us a new champion at 13:45.

Rating: B-. There were some sloppy parts in there but this was about taking two big people and having them beat each other up for a while. Sheamus’ reign is similar to AJ Styles/Omos’, as he was never going to be the next big thing, but he was going to be able to make someone look good in defeat. Priest gets his first big singles win and Sheamus can keep making people look better.

Rey Mysterio gives Dominik Mysterio a pep talk and tells him to stay focused.

Tag Team Titles: Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Usos

The Usos are defending. Jimmy gets sent outside and Jey is sent on top of him, with Dominik nearly slipping off a dive back inside. The Three Amigos connect but Jey tags himself in and shoves Dominik off the top. A hard posting rocks Dominik again and it’s something like a Demolition Decapitator connecting back inside.

Jey hits a right hand, which is nowhere near as loud as commentary thinks it was. Dominik finally manages to grab a suplex into a neckbreaker and the hot tag brings in Rey. House is cleaned, including a tornado DDT to Jey but Jimmy nails a superkick. The Superfly Splash misses but it’s a double superkick to drop Rey again. Now the Superfly Splash can retain the titles at 10:05.

Rating: C-. So that happened and I’m not sure if there is anything else to say about it. The Smackdown tag division is a complete waste of time at the moment and it’s another example of why it would be great to have one set of Tag Team Titles. That won’t happen, but it certainly should given how things are going at the moment.

Actress Tiffany Haddish brings in the first time “National” Champion Damian Priest, who liked getting to beat a bully.

Here is Rick Boogs to introduce King Nakamura, meaning it’s time for Pat McAfee to jump up onto the announcers’ table. That’s it.

We recap the Smackdown Women’s Title match as Bianca Belair defends against Sasha Banks in a Wrestlemania rematch. Banks returned, joined with Belair and then turned on her in the span of an hour, setting up this one. This one is much more about hatred than the title to give it a little twist off the Wrestlemania match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Sasha Banks

Belair is defending…..but not against Banks, who isn’t cleared, despite being advertised all the way through the Kickoff Show. We have a replacement.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Carmella

Belair isn’t impressed, but hang on another replacement.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Bianca Belair vs. Becky Lynch

Yeah that works and Lynch is challenging, after taking Carmella out that is. We get the big Belair vs. Lynch staredown and Becky officially challenges so the match is on. Bell, right hand, Manhandle Slam, new champion in 23 seconds. I would really hope that there is more to it than what we just saw, as beating Belair, who has been on fire in recent months, like that is a bad idea. There is nothing wrong with pushing Lynch, but don’t sacrifice someone as awesome as Belair to do it.

Belair is crushed by the loss.

WWE is going back to Saudi Arabia in October.

Here are two Olympic Gold Medal winning wrestlers, though I see no broken freaking necks.

Jinder Mahal vs. Drew McIntyre

Veer and Shanky are barred from ringside. McIntyre starts fast and knocks Mahal outside, meaning Mahal is already begging off. Mahal talks about how they used to be like brothers and then kicks McIntyre in the face for two. The stomping is on but McIntyre is back up with a series of overhead belly to belly suplexes. The Claymore finishes Mahal at 4:36.

Rating: D+. That’s all this should have been as there was no reason to believe that Mahal was going to be a threat to McIntyre. Mahal got in some stomping here and then lost like he should be doing. I’m sure we’ll get rematches because a match like this is not good enough to prove a point.

Post match Veer and Shanky come in but McIntyre chases all three of them off with Angela the sword.

We recap the Raw Women’s Title match. Nikki Ash is out to prove herself, Charlotte is there because she is the former champion and Rhea Ripley is there because WWE likes triple threats.

Raw Women’s Title: Nikki Ash vs. Charlotte vs. Rhea Ripley

Ash is defending. Ripley gets sent outside to start and it’s Nikki grabbing a rollup for two. Back in and Ripley gets rolled up for the same but Charlotte sends Nikki outside. The big fight is on with Ripley and Charlotte slugging it out until Ash comes back in with a rollup for two. That earns her another toss to the floor and Ripley grabs a northern lights suplex for two on Charlotte.

A big boot knocks Ripley off the apron but Nikki is back in with a tornado DDT for two. Charlotte picks Nikki up but Ripley is back in to German suplex both of them at once. The missile dropkick gets two on Charlotte so she and Ripley fight to the floor. They stand in place and look up at Nikki as she gets ready before diving onto the two of them. Back in and Charlotte suplexes both of them, followed by a double DDT.

The chops have Ripley and Nikki rocked but they double team their way out of trouble. Charlotte sends both of them outside and goes up for the corkscrew moonsault, which lands straight on Nikki and drives her HARD into the barricade. That was terrifying and thankfully Nikki is up so Ripley can put her into the Prism Trap.

Charlotte breaks that up and it’s the Prism Trap to Charlotte, who reverses into the Figure Eight. Nikki comes in off the top to break it up and the swinging neckbreaker gets two on Charlotte, with Ripley making the save this time. Ripley is sent outside and Charlotte avoids Nikki’s high crossbody, setting up the Figure Eight for the tap to make Charlotte champion again at 13:12.

Rating: B-. I think I’ve run out of ways to talk about how many title wins Charlotte has these days but it’s better to just pull the plug on Nikki as a champion at the moment. This has been a complete nightmare since she won the title and if they just want to get it back on Charlotte, go for it. Ripley seems to be a lost cause as well though, as she has been flattened by the Charlotte train. The match itself was quite good with some awesome near falls, but there is a certain deflating value when Charlotte gets the title back.

We recap Seth Rollins vs. Edge. Rollins cost Edge the Universal Title at Money in the Bank and Edge is out for revenge. Rollins keeps saying he is just better than Edge at everything and that Edge can’t get to that level anymore. This led to a Broodbath (yes Broodbath) on Smackdown as Edge is reaching his old self again.

Edge vs. Seth Rollins

Edge comes out to the Brood theme, complete with the still amazing ring of fire, but switches to the current theme in the aisle. That was awesome and well done on making this feel special. Rollins wastes no time in going for the neck but Edge knocks him outside. It takes some time for Rollins to start getting back in so Edge knocks him off the apron and starts the walking around the ring.

Rollins manages to post him and sends the head into the steps over and over. Back in and Rollins cuts off the comeback with the Sling Blade and a kick to the face for two. Rollins’ neckbreaker is countered into a backslide for two but he kicks Edge down again. The frog splash gets two on Edge so they head up top, with Edge grabbing a super swinging neckbreaker for a breather.

The Edgecution gets two and Edge is looking frustrated at the near falls. Edge goes up so it’s Rollins going after him, setting up the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two. The Stomp is countered so Rollins tries a Pedigree, which is reversed into a Glam Slam (ala his wife) to give Edge two more. Edge is sent into the ropes and has to avoid another Stomp onto the apron. A heck of a spear through the ropes thankfully doesn’t break either of them in half.

Back in and Rollins takes him down again but misses the Phoenix splash. The spear gives Edge two but Rollins hits a hard forearm to the back of the neck. A superkick to the side of the head sets up the Stomp…with Edge grabbing the boot on the way down. We get another flashback with the Edgecator, which Edge lets go when Rollins gets too close to the rope. Instead it’s a Crossface to put Rollins in trouble, with Edge ramming Rollins’ head into the mat over and over. Something like a Crossface sleeper makes Rollins tap at 21:21.

Rating: B+. Ever since Edge has come back, I haven’t been able to bring myself to care about any of his matches. I like the idea of setting them up, but the thought of actually seeing them happen doesn’t work. Then almost every time, Edge winds up making it work and that was the case again here. I’m really not sure why he needed to win here, but it was a heck of a match and the best one on the show so far.

Money in the Bank is coming to Allegiant Stadium over the 4th of July weekend next year.

Official attendance: 51,326.

Here are Miz and John Morrison to talk about how dry everyone must be here. They are here to make everyone all moist with the Drip Stick 2000 but neither of them have it. Instead, here is Xavier Woods, with a water tank on his back and a water gun attached. After doing a Scott Hall style survey (complete with toothpick and “one more for the good guys”, Woods sprays them and the two of them leave. If there is a point to this thing, it went sailing over my head.

We recap Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley. Goldberg is back and wants the title, time for a showdown. There isn’t much else to it than that in this case.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley, with MVP, is defending. They circle each other to start and we get the big power lockup. Lashley gets backed into the corner and shoves Goldberg back. A shoulder doesn’t stagger Goldberg but his flying shoulder drops Lashley. A powerslam into a World’s Strongest Slam crushes Lashley and a clothesline takes him down again. Neither of them can hit the Jackhammer so Lashley knocks him down for the forearms to the back of the neck.

Goldberg sends him flying but MVP pulls Lashley outside to avoid the spear. That’s fine with Goldberg, who hits the spear on the floor instead. Back in and Lashley bails outside to avoid another spear. MVP hits Goldberg in the knee with his cane so Lashley takes out the leg. The Hurt Lock is blocked and the fans aren’t pleased. Another shot to the knee puts Goldberg down and he rolls outside. The knee is sent into the post hard twice in a row and Goldberg collapses before Lashley can try the spear. That’s enough and the referee stops it at 7:12.

Rating: D+. Goldberg’s stuff was looking better than usual at the start and then it turned into WWE trying something emotional. They’re probably setting up a rematch or something, because Goldberg is the most overly pushed legend in WWE history. I have no idea what this was supposed to accomplish other than to make Lashley look like someone who can’t get the job done almost six months into his reign. It was an acceptable power brawl for a bit and then it was the leg stuff over and over until the finish.

Post match Lashley unloads on Goldberg with chair shots to the knee and Goldberg is done. Goldberg’s son Gage tries to run in and jumps on Lashley’s back so Lashley puts him in the Hurt Lock. MVP grabs the mic and says Lashley didn’t know who it was as Goldberg crawls onto his son. MVP and Lashley bail as Goldberg swears vengeance and Gage looks bored. They had this much time to set things up and their big idea is to make it about Goldberg’s kid? There is NO ONE ELSE who can get a spot like this than Goldberg? WWE is dying for fresh stars and they use an emotional angle on Goldberg?

We recap John Cena vs. Roman Reigns. Cena returned to challenge Reigns for the Universal Title, both to break the record for the most World Titles as well as bring Reigns back down to earth.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. John Cena

Reigns is defending and will leave WWE if he loses. Granted Cena has already won because of the Super Mario 3 style shirt. They start slowly with Reigns hitting a running shoulder to scare Cena back a bit. A small package gives Cena two he mocks Reigns with the two count. Cena’s rollup gets two so Reigns elbows him in the face. A snap suplex sets up a chinlock before Reigns throws him outside. Cena is sent into the steps a few times, allowing Reigns to hold up the title.

Back in and Cena grabs a small package for two, setting up an AA attempt. That’s countered into a DDT for two as Reigns is a lot more serious. Reigns: “Movie executives I apologize, but I’m going to hurt this man.” Another comeback is cut off with a right hand but Cena gets another quick rollup. That just makes Reigns grab a sleeper and jump onto Cena’s back to make it worse. Cena fights up again and hits a heck of a clothesline (that clothesline that he hits when he’s in trouble) and they’re both down.

The comeback is on but the Shuffle is countered into the guillotine choke. Cena flips forward for two to counter but it’s the Superman Punch to cut him off again. Back up and Reigns charges into a big boot to set up the AA and the near fall. The STFU sends Cena crawling over to the ropes for the break and he is fine enough to catch Cena with the apron boot. Reigns loads up the spear but charges into another AA, this time through the announcers’ table.

Cena tosses him back inside for the very near fall and the shocked face is strong. The top rope Fameasser is countered into a powerbomb for two more and they’re both down. The Superman Punch connects for two on Cena but the spear hits the post, meaning it’s the super AA for a VERY good false finish. Cena’ does Reigns’ roar but charge into a right hand. The slugout is on until Reigns hits the Superman Punch. Reigns declares that he is WWE and the spear retains the title at 23:00.

Rating: A-. Yeah that worked and I don’t think anyone is surprised. Cena can still bring it on the big stage and Reigns has shown he can work well with just about anyone during this run. They had me buying some of the near falls and I wasn’t convinced the spear was it, so well done on having me totally confused and wondering when it was ending. This was the heavyweight slugfest and it worked out great.

And then Brock Lesnar comes back. Paul Heyman cowers in the corner and Reigns looks scared. Lesnar gets in the ring and Reigns and Heyman slowly back away. Lesnar, as a good guy for the first time in what feels like forever, poses to end the show. That’s about all there was left for Reigns at this point as Edge beat Seth Rollins, so well done on a big surprise.

Overall Rating: C+. The overall thoughts on this one are going to be all over the place, just like the show. It was FAR from perfect as there were some really bad matches and questionable decisions (I’m still trying to get my head around Lynch beating Belair like that) but there were some very good matches and a few legitimate surprises. I liked more than I didn’t, but it’s a show that is going to get a lot of dislike and I completely understand why.

What mattered here for me is that this show felt important. There were major matches and moments, with Lynch and Lesnar’s returns feeling huge. Throw in some title changes (not all good ones) and there is no denying that stuff happened here. The problem is that Monday is coming and any good will this show had is likely going away as they load up the rematches at Extreme Rules. What matters is that the show felt big and they had a lot of people in the house, so I’ll call it a just slightly good show which is going to have several people annoyed.

Results
RKBro b. AJ Styles/Omos – RKO to Styles
Alexa Bliss b. Eva Marie – Sister Abigail DDT
Damian Priest b. Sheamus – Reckoning
Usos b. Dominik Mysterio/Rey Mysterio – Superfly Splash to Rey
Becky Lynch b. Bianca Belair – Manhandle Slam
Drew McIntyre b. Jinder Mahal – Claymore
Charlotte b. Nikki Ash and Rhea Ripley – Figure Eight to Ash
Edge b. Seth Rollins – Crossface sleeper
Bobby Lashley b. Goldberg via referee stoppage
Roman Reigns b. John Cena – Spear

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2020 (Original): I Didn’t See It Coming

Summerslam 2020
Date: August 23, 2020
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Samoa Joe

It’s finally time to try this out and yes it’s another Thunder Dome show, which may or may not mean anything to you if you’re reading this in 2273. Basically there are no fans live in the arena, but there are pictures of several of them scared to move because of all of the conditions WWE has included to allow them to be shown on screen. Other than that, we have two World Title matches and something we’ll never see coming, which kind of negates the idea of a surprise. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: US Title: MVP vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending and the rest of the Hurt Business is banned from ringside. A quick sunset flip gives Crews two and MVP wants a breather on the floor. Back in and MVP uses a distracted referee to get in a cheap shot but Crews is right back with a dropkick. MVP is ready for a charge in the corner though and sends Crews over the top and face first onto the steps for a nasty crash.

Back in and MVP misses a big running boot in the corner but he’s fine enough to crotch Crews on top. A superplex brings Crews back down with MVP slipping a bit on the fall before getting two. Crews is fine enough to clothesline MVP to the floor and that means a big running flip dive, which seems to hurt Crews’ back again. Back in and Crews wins a slugout before ripping off MVP’s nasal strip. That sets MVP off enough that he tries the Playmaker but Crews reverses into the Toss Powerbomb to retain at 6:35.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given Raw and that isn’t the most surprising thing. The bigger story here would seem to be Crews vs. Bobby Lashley down the line and letting Crews get the Summerslam win on the way there is a nice boost for him. Other than that, there isn’t much to see here, but it was just a Kickoff Show match.

Post match Lashley and Shelton Benjamin run out for the beatdown but Crews slips away.

The opening video presents Summerslam as a huge production, including the lights, camera action line. Each match gets a quick look as well.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Bayley

Bayley is defending and has Sasha Banks in her corner. Asuka forearms Bayley in the shoulder to start and hits a running dropkick. The sliding dropkick misses but Asuka can get a seated Octopus hold. Thankfully this cuts off Cole’s explanation that the big difference between their careers is Asuka has won the Women’s Royal Rumble. Not that Asuka has never lost a singles match to Bayley, including beating her twice in the last month and a half, but their Women’s Royal Rumble record.

The hip attack sends Bayley to the floor and Asuka hits a jumping DDT from the steps to knock Bayley silly again. Back in and Bayley grabs a quick suplex for a breather and the stomping is on in the ropes. The Bayley to Belly gets two more so Asuka kicks Bayley in the head for the double knockdown. Another hip attack rocks Bayley and there’s the release German suplex to send Bayley flying. They head to the apron with Bayley dropping Asuka knees first, much to Banks’ delight.

Back in and Bayley gets two off a chop block, followed by something like an Indian Deathlock. That’s broken up so Bayley grabs another leglock with Asuka going to the ropes this time. Bayley goes up for the top rope elbow but Asuka pulls her into the cross armbreaker instead. Asuka lets go to kick at the screaming Banks though and they head outside with Asuka hitting Bayley in the face. Back in and Bayley grabs a rollup for a close two but Asuka’s running hip attack hits Banks by mistake. That’s enough for Bayley to small package Asuka to retain at 11:21.

Rating: B-. It was good for Bayley to win, even if it has no bearing on her Royal Rumble history. Bayley retaining again is interesting, though that would give you more of a reason to believe that Asuka is taking the other title later. Either way, they had a solid match here as they tend to do, as Asuka can have good matches with almost anyone. It was a good effort here and they even helped set up the other title match later.

Post match Bayley and Banks lay out Asuka again.

Dominik Mysterio asks Rey Mysterio to let him do this himself against Seth Rollins and not get involved. Rey agrees and they hug.

Recap of Retribution’s carnage.

Kevin Owens comes out for commentary, complete with a red tie.

Raw Tag Team Titles: Angel Garza/Andrade vs. Street Profits

The Profits are defending and Zelina Vega is here with the challengers. Ford flips over Andrade to start and hits a jumping clothesline. A jumping hurricanrana off the top freaks Vega out and Andrade is sent outside. Dawkins comes in for a double flapjack to Garza but Ford’s running flip dive to the floor is countered into a double powerbomb. Back in and Ford gets sent into the corner, allowing Garza to TAKE OFF HIS PANTS!

Andrade armbars Ford over the ropes, setting up the Alberto double stomp for two more. Ford avoids a charge and brings in Dawkins to clean house, including a spear to Andrade. It’s back to Ford, who is grazed by the basement dropkick to the head for two. Zelina gets on the apron but is knocked down in a hurry, leaving Ford to escape the Wing Clipper. The Cash Out into the (spinning) frog splash pins Garza to retain the titles at 7:49.

Rating: C. Another Raw level match here, though maybe a little bit better than that. I doubt this is over between the teams, because it’s not like there is anyone else for the Profits to defend against at the moment. The Owens inclusion was a little odd but he has enough of a story history with Vega and company to make it work.

Post match Owens congratulates the champs and announces the return of the KO Show tomorrow night, with Aleister Black as his guest.

Bayley and Sasha Banks don’t like Kayla Braxton’s questions. Banks knows she can beat Asuka, and Bayley knows it too. Tonight Asuka is tapping out and then next week they’re retaining the Tag Team Titles.

We recap Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville. They used to be best friends and then Sonya got sick of Mandy getting all of the attention and turned on her. Then Sonya cut her hair and challenged her to a hair vs. hair match, which was seemingly derailed by someone wanting to actually murder Sonya, so instead it’s No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE.

Mandy Rose vs. Sonya Deville

No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE. Mandy punches her in the face for an early knockdown and they head outside with Sonya being whipped into various things. A suplex onto the ramp drops Sonya again and Mandy dives off the announcers’ table with a clothesline. Mandy grabs a table but Sonya gets in a shot and takes it inside. Back in and Mandy misses a running knee, allowing Sonya to slap on a dragon sleeper.

Sonya grabs a triangle choke but Mandy is smart enough to stack her up for two to force the break. The trash talk is on but only causes Mandy to slap away. Now the knee gives Mandy two and they head back outside, with Mandy shouting about being the soccer mom. Mandy throws the chairs at Sonya’s head but walks into a pump kick instead. Back in and Mandy hits a pair of knees, followed by a third as she goes half Kenny Omega. Angel’s Wings plants Sonya and a fourth knee to the face finishes her off at 10:00.

Rating: D+. Yeah believe it or not, I’m not exactly getting behind the idea of a blonde bombshell who got all of the attention being called out for getting all of the attention. Sonya stole the show in the entire feud and while things got turned upside down this week (completely fair enough), I was really wanting to see how far Sonya can go after everything she has been doing lately. Or to see Mandy bald for some reason. The No DQ stuff changed almost nothing here.

Post match Sonya is devastated as Otis comes out to celebrate. He does the Caterpillar and Mandy fails completely in her attempt.

We recap Dominik Mysterio vs. Seth Rollins, which is fallout from Rollins going after Rey Mysterio, including taking his eye out twice. Dominik is here to fight for his dad’s honor in his debut. They’re making it a street fight to help Dominik out a little bit.

Seth Rollins vs. Dominik Mysterio

Street fight and Rollins, with Murphy, is in Rey Mysterio WCW inspired ring gear. Rey is here with Dominik to even things out. Dominik looks nervous to start and Rollins seems more interested in toying with him. Rollins even sticks his head out so Dominik can grab a headlock. Instead of punching Rollins in the face, Dominik grabs a headlock and is shoved down almost immediately. Some armdrags into a front flip have Rollins a little staggered so he slams Dominik down.

Rollins demands and receives a kendo stick from Murphy but Dominik is up with a dropkick. That means Rollins has to run from the kendo stick until Rollins catches him with some stomping back inside. The neck cranking goes on but Rollins lets go to yell at Rey. Dominik’s feeble comeback is cut off with the Sling Blade and Rollins puts the knee on his face. The chair is set up inside and Rollins tells “Papa” to come on. Dominik reverses the buckle bomb and grabs a tornado DDT for two.

The kendo stick shots have Rollins in trouble for a change but he crotches Dominik on top. That means the superplex into the Falcon Arrow for two and Rollins wants his own stick. Dominik gets beaten down and Rollins calls for a table from Murphy. Rollins loads up said table in the corner but takes too long going up, allowing Dominik to hit a super Russian legsweep through the table for two. Dominik’s frog slash gets the same, plus a million versions of the same jokes about Eddie being his dad.

Dominik takes too long getting a chair and walks into a superkick, followed by a powerbomb. A bunch of kendo stick shots have Rey clutching his own chest and now we go old school with handcuffs. Before they go on, cue Rey’s wife to try to call this off but Rey stops her. Murphy comes in for the knee to Dominik and tries to take the eye out, finally drawing Rey in for the save.

Rollins and Murphy double team Rey and handcuff him to the middle rope. They both grab kendo sticks but turn to look at Rey’s wife instead. Since she’s on the stage and Rollins is at ringside (and since she can’t MOVE), Dominik makes the save. Something like a 619 sends Rollins into the barricade and there’s the regular version. Another frog splash hits knees though and Rollins makes Rey watch as he….just kind of holds Dominik. The Stomp finishes Dominik at 22:35.

Rating: D+. I’m not sure what to think here, other than it went WAY too long. The match itself was ok enough as Dominik has some skill and has clearly been trained well, but that doesn’t mean I want to watch this for twenty two minutes. It felt like a lot more of the same, with Rollins trying to be vicious but coming off as a heel wrestler instead of anything especially violent. This feud has gone on way too long and odds are we get a tag match next so they can keep trying to get the big emotional moment which hasn’t come yet. Dominik looked pretty good (all things considered), but not ready for Summerslam good.

Post match Rollins leaves the keys with Dominik and watches as he has to crawl over and free Mysterio.

Raw Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Sasha Banks

Banks, with Bayley in her corner, is defending. Asuka has a bad knee coming in and Banks goes straight for it in a smart move. Back up and Asuka hits a weakened version of the sliding forearm to put Banks on the floor. That means a leglock on the floor to even up the knees a bit, followed by a kick to the back for two on the champ. Asuka heads to the apron and Banks grabs a spinning powerbomb to the floor, freaking Bayley out in the process.

That’s good for nine so Banks kicks her in the chest for two more. Asuka pulls her down into an ankle lock but Banks rolls out in a hurry, sending Asuka onto the middle rope. That’s fine with Asuka, who hits a middle rope DDT for the slightly delayed two. The missile dropkick gets the same and Banks falls into the corner. Asuka tries to pull her out but Banks grabs a Codebreaker for two in a cool counter.

Banks misses her own frog splash and the Asuka Lock goes on but Banks flips backwards for two. Asuka has to let go and Banks gets the Bank Statement. She tries to flip into the center and gets switched into the Asuka Lock, which is broken again. Bayley gets on the apron and gets elbowed down, allowing Banks to try a rollup ala Bayley earlier. This time Asuka reverses into the Asuka Lock for the title at 11:31.

Rating: B. Better than the first match and I can always go with someone who learns from an earlier match. This made good sense after earlier and they had to do something to get some of the gold away from Bayley and Banks. The action was pretty hard hitting here and Banks works with Asuka better than Bayley, so this was a nice improvement over the opener and the best match of the night so far.

Banks is distraught post match and Bayley doesn’t know what to do.

We recap Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. McIntyre won the title back at Wrestlemania and Orton has been on a roll in the last few months. This of course meant we needed Ric Flair to be involved because he has to be in on a big story a year. Anyway, McIntyre has worked his way to the top and doesn’t think much of Orton skating by on talent over the years. Orton on the other hand doesn’t think much of McIntyre at all and is taking the title because he can. Oh and he Punted Flair because it’s Flair.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Drew McIntyre

Drew is defending and Orton bails to the floor at the bell. After the stalling ensues, Orton goes back in, gets punched once, and heads outside again. The chase is on this time and Orton stomps away as Drew gets back in. Orton misses a pair of RKO attempts but the second one sends Drew outside for a breather. The champ gets back in again and unloads on Orton in the corner. Orton can’t hit the RKO for a third time but he can avoid a charge to send McIntyre shoulder first into the post.

McIntyre falls outside and Orton drops him hard onto the announcers’ table for a big crash. He does it again to make McIntyre’s back even worse and there’s a suplex off the table. That’s good for one back inside and we hit the chinlock. Orton starts stomping away at the ankle and leg but McIntyre gets in something like a Stunner to Orton’s knee. As a fan holding up a Twitter sign is replaced, Drew puts on a Figure Four in the middle of the ring.

Orton is in trouble but gets smart by pulling the referee in and poking McIntyre’s eye for the break. They get back up and slug it out with Orton still not being able to hit the RKO. McIntyre snaps off an overhead belly to belly and then does it a second time. A top rope clothesline drops Orton and McIntyre is fired up. McIntyre loads up a top rope superplex but gets dropped down into the Tree of Woe.

That doesn’t slow McIntyre down that much as he pulls himself up for a choke throw to put Orton back down. The Futureshock gets two and Orton’s head is busted open. McIntyre goes up top but misses a shot to the head, allowing Orton to hit the powerslam for two. The hanging DDT is countered and McIntyre hits the Glasgow Kiss.

They fall out to the floor together and Orton hits the hanging DDT on the way back in. Orton loads up the Punt but walks into a powerbomb. The Claymore is loaded up but Orton ducks, only to miss the RKO again. McIntyre grabs a backslide for the pin to retain at 24:38. Phillips: “Orton never saw it coming!”

Rating: B+. They took their time here and I got into it pretty quickly. I like the idea of having McIntyre win without some kind of a screwy ending and if that’s the only thing we didn’t see coming, it might be quite the upgrade. It was a very nice back and forth match and Summerslam main event worthy, so well done on living up to the hype.

Tomorrow: Keith Lee is on Raw.

We recap Braun Strowman vs. the Fiend. They have been feuding for months now with the Fiend reemerging from the swamp at Extreme Rules. During their fight, Alexa Bliss appeared and tried to convince Strowman to join Bray Wyatt again. Strowman said no, but it became clear that Strowman still thought something of Bliss, and maybe vice versa. Strowman said she meant nothing to him though and he even gorilla press slammed her on Smackdown. Strowman has had it with Wyatt and the Fiend so it is time to fight.

Smackdown World Title: The Fiend vs. Braun Strowman

Strowman is defending and falls count anywhere. Fiend is knocked down to start but comes right back with a release Rock Bottom. They head outside with Fiend sending him into various things and hitting Strowman in the ribs with a toolbox. Fiend loads up the announcers’ table but gets chokeslammed onto it for his efforts. A spear sends Fiend through the barricade and a shot with the steps makes it worse.

Back in and the running powerslam gives Strowman two, meaning it’s time to fight up the ramp. They go into the gorilla position with Fiend hitting Sister Abigail for two. Fiend pokes the eyes and takes it back to the stage, where he slithers over to Strowman. The Mandible Claw goes on near ringside but Strowman shoves him into the LED ring skirt.

Another running powerslam gives Strowman two back inside and frustration is setting in. Strowman goes to the toolbox and pulls out a box cutter so he can cut up the mat. Some of the wood is exposed but Fiend gets up and hits another Rock Bottom. Two Sister Abigails onto the wood makes Fiend champion again at 12:01.

Rating: C+. This was feeling big to start and then wound up being Strowman losing because he was stupid and took forever to set up….something while the supernatural monster was left laying there. Fiend winning was the only possible outcome here as there was nothing left for Strowman to do as the failed champion. Either way, it was better than I was expecting, but it still wasn’t great.

Post match ROMAN REIGNS returns and hits a spear to take Fiend down and hammer away. Reigns spears Strowman down too and shouts that Strowman isn’t a monster without him. He unloads on Strowman with chair shots and spears Fiend down again before shouting that the title was always his. I know supervillains are supposed to have weaknesses, but football players who played college ball in Georgia and use spears is as specific as I’ve ever heard. Also, Reigns was WAY more aggressive than usual here and felt as close to a heel as he’s been since the original Shield run. He might not have turned, but it wasn’t far off.

Overall Rating: C. This show was looking outright dreadful until Banks vs. Asuka (though I could see people liking Rollins vs. Mysterio) and the rest of the show bailed the first half out as much as it could have. Reigns being back is a great thing as Smackdown (and Raw for that matter) needs all of the star power it can get. It’s not a great show, but it jumps up in quality in the second half and that saved it from being a nightmare.

 

 

 

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Smackdown – March 23, 2007: They’re Doing Good

Smackdown
Date: March 23, 2007
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Much like Raw, things have been going well around here as of late as we head into Wrestlemania. That does lead to a bit of a problem though, as the show runs the risk of running out of things to do with Wrestlemania so soon. It feels like Smackdown can do no wrong at the moment though so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

In Memory of Arnold Skaaland.

Opening sequence.

Here is Vince McMahon (in a rather gold coat) to get things going. Vince talks about how much fun he had on Monday and we see a clip of the destruction of Eugene. If you think Eugene was humiliated by having his head shaved, imagine what it is going to be like when Donald Trump is shaved bald. Vince recaps Steve Austin’s involvement and promises to shave everyone’s hair. Oh and he’ll beat Bobby Lashley 1-2-3 on Raw.

That was so much fun that Vince thinks Lashley should be in action tonight. Cue Lashley’s opponent for the night: Mr. Kennedy. Eh that’s not enough so we’ll throw in Randy Orton to make it a handicap match. And we’ll make it a tables match, just for fun. They’re certainly making Lashley go through adversity and that is a good way to make him feel important.

Tag Team Titles: Brian Kendrick/Paul London vs. MNM

MNM is challenging as their on/off team continues and Ashley/Melina are the thirds. It seems that something is wrong with JBL’s headset as Cole goes on solo for a long stretch during the entrances. It’s a brawl to start and a double forearm gets two on Mercury. Nitro offers a quick assist though and London misses a dropkick. London gets dropped ribs first onto the top rope and we hit the waistlock.

That’s broken up and London rolls over for the hot tag off to Kendrick. Mercury isn’t wasting time and cuts him off for two, with Melina screaming that it should have been three. The real hot tag brings in London as we talk about a Melina photo shoot. Melina grabs London’s foot on the top but Ashley cuts her off, setting up a high crossbody to retain the titles.

Rating: C. This was a commercial for Melina vs. Ashley disguised as a Tag Team Title match. To be fair, that’s the right call as the Ashley stuff is more important than the titles at the moment. London and Kendrick have held the titles for the better part of a year now and it is time they dropped them. Just not to MNM.

Kane scares Kristal and is very happy about what he did to Daivari last week. As for Khali, he is ready to go all the way at Wrestlemania and has the hook on a chain to help him. I’ll let you make your own comments.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Jimmy Wang Yang

Non-title and JBL is right there saying Yang should be a cook in a noodle house. Yang fights out of the corner and hits a middle rope missile dropkick. Chavo is sent outside for a baseball slide into the announcers’ table but he’s fine enough to dropkick Yang out of the air back inside. We hit the armbar, followed by the double arm crank to keep Yang in trouble. Another armbar is broken up and Yang hits a jawbreaker, only to miss the spinwheel kick. Chavo hits Three Amigos (which Cole finds disrespectful) but Yang kicks him into the corner. The moonsault press gives Yang the upset pin.

Rating: C-. Gee I wonder what we are going to get out of this. I’m completely sick of the non-title losses and they are a reason why this title means so little. Chavo will come back and win the rematch and we’ll be right back where they started. That’s about as good as you’re going to get with the title and nothing is going to change because the cruiserweights don’t mean a thing.

Arnold Skaaland tribute video.

Trailer for the Condemned.

MVP vs. Cedric Von Haussen

Von Haussen’ Lichtenstein’s Title isn’t on the line and he looks like he stepped out of a Swiss clock. MVP clotheslines him down and hits a running boot in the corner. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP brags about how he is going to win his first title at Wrestlemania and it is going to be a Wrestlemania Moment for both he and Chris Benoit. That’s going to make sure Benoit is on highlight reels and in documentaries forever. The same might be true for Von Haussen as well, who had a much better career when he changed his name to Johnny Gargano.

Celebrity Trump vs. McMahon picks.

Mr. Kennedy/Randy Orton vs. Bobby Lashley

Non-title tables match and Lashley has to put both of them through a table to win. Lashley starts fast and sends Orton outside, leaving Kennedy to take a beating. Orton tries to grab the foot from the floor and gets suplexed for his efforts. The double teaming gives the villains a chance though and Lashley is sent shoulder first into the post.

Cue Vince McMahon as Orton gets out the first table. Lashley fights off the table in the corner and beats on Orton as Kennedy gets another table. That takes too long and Lashley puts Kennedy through said table in the corner. Vince does his panicked face and Lashley powerslams Orton through the table for the win.

Rating: C. Those are quite the odds to overcome but it’s just a tables match so it is a little easier to accept. Lashley is getting a great rub out of this whole story and this was another impressive win. Vince’s stunned face as he realized what he had gotten himself into on Monday was great and it should make for a very shenaniganzy match.

Gregory Helms vs. Chris Benoit

Non-title and joined in progress with a lockup going into the corner. Helms forearms Benoit down until a hard chop cuts him off. A snap suplex drops Helms again but he sends Benoit outside for the slingshot dive. Back in and Helms grabs a guillotine choke, which draws Benoit back up with more chops. Helms neckbreakers him down but Benoit rolls the German suplexes. The Swan Dive into the Crossface finishes Helms in a hurry.

Rating: C. Quick but energetic match here and it’s amazing how much less annoying it is to see Helms lose now that he doesn’t have the Cruiserweight Title. If nothing else, seeing him still lose like this shows you how little the title meant, which isn’t even the case with the Tag Team Titles. Benoit is back on track after the loss on Raw and that’s a good idea on the way to Wrestlemania.

Batista isn’t happy with Undertaker throwing Finlay at him last week. It’s about getting even though and they’ll be fine as a team tonight….at least during the match.

The Wild Samoans are going into the Hall of Fame. How in the world were they not in there already?

JBL leaves to head to the back for something.

Battle of the Billionaires Tale of the Tape.

Teddy Long gives Kristal a rose when JBL comes in. He’d like to moderate an interview between Undertaker and Batista next week. “Captain Cialis” agrees.

Finlay and King Booker jump Batista in the back.

Undertaker vs. King Booker/Finlay

So much for the huge tag match. Booker runs away from Undertaker to start but Finlay’s cheap shot lets Booker take him into the corner. That doesn’t work as Undertaker loads up Old School, which is reversed with a pull off the ropes but Undertaker pulls it down into an armdrag (egads man). Finlay gets booted off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Booker breaking up the apron legdrop and hammering away on the floor. Finlay’s running seated senton gets two as things slow down a bit. The villains start taking turns on Undertaker, with Finlay grabbing a half crab. The comeback is cut off with a clothesline to give Finlay two more but Undertaker fights up. That includes the running DDT to take Finlay down and the real comeback is on. The running clotheslines in the corner connect but Finlay grabs the Shillelagh for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The armdrag alone was worth the look as you don’t see Undertaker do that most of the time. It was a good way to end the show and you know there is going to be something with Batista before we wrap it up. As usual, this has been a very well done setup for the title match and they took another nice step here.

Post match the beatdown is on but Batista runs in for the save. Stereo powerbombs are loaded up but Batista throws Booker at Undertaker to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was mostly in the middle here, but you don’t watch a show nine days before Wrestlemania and expect some great matches. Instead, you got the storyline reinforcements that make Wrestlemania feel bigger, which is what you should be getting here. I liked the show and I wanted to see Wrestlemania, with none of this being really bad. That’s all they need to do for the next week and they will hit the ground running in Detroit.

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Monday Night Raw – August 16, 2021: Imagine If They Didn’t Want My Money

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 16, 2021
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Jimmy Smith

It’s the go home show for Summerslam and that means it is time for the big final push towards Goldberg vs. Bobby Lashley. That’s the big focal point of this show, no matter how uninteresting it might be. Maybe they can come up with something to set up their three minute match on Saturday. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video looks at Randy Orton returning last week and attacking Riddle to end the show.

Here is Randy Orton to open things up. Orton talks about how he does not need fans but has to stop for the RKO chants. This is still his world and tonight he promises to take Omos out with the RK…..and here is Riddle to cut him off before the O. Riddle thinks that Orton was trying to teach him something last week.

Orton isn’t sure what that means, but Riddle says that he gave him the RKO last week to show Riddle how it is really done. As Orton tries not to strangle Riddle, the offer to reform RKBro is tossed out again. Cue AJ Styles and Omos, with AJ saying how about RK NO! Tonight, no one is saving Orton from Omos but that’s not enough for AJ. He wants to face Riddle right now, so Riddle, calling AJ Skipper, accepts.

AJ Styles vs. Riddle

Omos stays at ringside but Randy Orton turns his back and walks away. Hold on though as he stops on the stage as AJ grabs an early suplex. Riddle takes AJ back though and hits the quick backsplash, only to have Styles come back with an abdominal stretch. With that not working, it’s time to work on the leg but Riddle grabs a triangle over the ropes.

Styles gets pulled outside for a crash and the apron kick puts Styles down again. There’s the springboard flip dive and we take a break. Back with Riddle grabbing a German suplex for two but another backsplash is countered into the Calf Crusher. Riddle makes the rope and knocks AJ down again. The Floating Bro is loaded up but Omos offers a distraction, allowing AJ to take the leg out. The Styles Clash finishes Riddle at 10:57.

Rating: B-. Rather good match here with the story being told as it should have been. The idea of Riddle being in over his head but never giving up despite being in over his head is a good story. Now just go with whatever you want for the payoff, and either option could go just fine. The action itself was good too and that’s a nice way to open the show.

Nikki Ash talks about how the outfit makes her feel confident and when you believe in yourself, you can be almost a superhero. She is so confident that she knows she can retain the title at Summerslam. These promos are getting more and more insufferable every week. As goofy as it was, just go full Hurricane with it and have some fun. This “ALMOST” a superhero deal having to be explained every week is getting worse and worse. Stop trying to have some brilliant concept and do what has worked before.

Riddle says he never gave up on RKBro, but now he’s just sad.

Nikki Ash vs. Rhea Ripley

Non-title and hold on though as here is Charlotte to join commentary. Ripley starts fast with a quick toss to send Nikki flying. Back up and Nikki sends Rhea outside, setting up the big dive off the apron as we take a break. We come back with Rhea hitting a delayed vertical suplex but missing a charge into the corner. A tornado DDT gets two on Ripley but she is right back with a suplex. The Riptide plants Nikki for the pin at 8:26.

Rating: D+. Another week, another chance for Nikki to be the most pathetic face on the roster. Ripley should be beating her but Nikki shouldn’t be the champion at this point so there was no way around this. I cannot wait for this deal to be over so we can move on to whatever else they have, as bad as it might be. Just get Nikki out of this stuff already because it isn’t working, at least as it is being presented.

The big brawl is on post match with Nikki kicking Charlotte to the floor.

Jinder Mahal tells Veer and Shanky to get this right, because he has given them a great opportunity. Now get rid of Drew McIntyre and his sword.

Video on Bobby Lashley.

MVP orders supper for Lashley and isn’t worried about tonight’s face to face with Goldberg.

Veer/Shanky vs. Drew McIntyre

Jinder Mahal is here too. McIntyre punches Veer into the corner to start so it’s off to Shanky to take over. The big elbow from Veer sets up the chinlock, causing McIntyre to fight back up and take over. There’s the neckbreaker to Veer and a Michinoku Driver to Shanky, setting up the Futureshock. The Claymore finishes Shanky at 3:33.

Rating: D+. I’m sure this will set up some big showdown at Summerslam where Mahal gets the win because of the sword somehow, meaning it’s time to set up a bunch of rematches. I still have no idea why this is supposed to be some hot feud, but McIntyre has a sword named Angela. That might not be interesting, but it is certainly a thing that is happening.

Post match Veer goes after the sword but McIntyre takes it away and has a message from Shanky: he wishes he could be as amazing/sexy as McIntyre and has seen the error of his ways. Now Shanky wants McIntyre to win at Summerslam. McIntyre promises to destroy Mahal and we get a quick audience poll supporting the idea.

Charlotte wants revenge for Summerslam so she can find a partner for a tag match against Nikki Ash and Rhea Ripley tonight.

We get what looks to be the same “Elias Is Dead” vignette from last week.

It’s time for, I kid you not, MoistTV, with John Morrison bringing out the Miz for answers about his suddenly fine knee. Morrison asks about Miz’s favorite movie, which is every time he was in the Marine. When asked if he was really hurt, Miz goes into a bit about how he would never lie to you.

Cue Damian Priest to call Miz a liar (in Spanish) and promise to win the US Title at Summerslam. Miz goes on a rant about how this is his first injury and lets it slip that he has been cleared for weeks. Morrison isn’t happy and Priest talks about Miz running off last week. As Miz goes on, Morrison asks why he wasn’t told about Miz being healthy. The solution is clear: Miz vs. Priest tonight, which works for Priest. It works for him so well that he shoves Miz in the kid’s pool (because there is a kid’s pool).

Damian Priest vs. The Miz

Sheamus comes out to join commentary and Miz is in street clothes. Miz starts fast and actually hits the top rope ax handle but Priest punches him in the leg. Priest charges into a boot but Morrison won’t give him the Drip Stick. Instead, Priest gives him a hard clothesline and it’s a Brogue Kick to finish Miz at 2:40.

Post match, Sheamus shouts about this being his title. No one is ever going to take it from him, especially Priest. Sheamus does have a broken face but after Summerslam, Priest will have a bleeding head.

We look at Doudrop being scared by Lillie winking at her, giving Alexa Bliss a win.

Eva Marie doesn’t want to hear it and thinks they should go to the playground. By that, she means bring her Lillie.

Alexa Bliss plays with Lillie.

John Morrison and Miz agree that things are ok, all while New Day plugs their shirts behind them. Miz and Morrison have a very wet idea for Summerslam.

It’s time for Alexa’s Playground with Alexa Bliss pushing a Lillie dating show. Doudrop comes in and tries to steal Lillie, stops and stares at her, and hands her back to Bliss before walking away. Bliss: “See you at Summerslam!”

Mace vs. Mansoor

T-Bar and Mustafa Ali are here too. Mace hammers away to start but misses an elbow, allowing Mansoor to make the comeback. The sidekick misses for Mace but he shoves off a Dudley Dog attempt. Mace counters a sunset flip in the corner so Ali dropkicks him down, giving Mansoor the pin at 1:57.

AJ Styles and Omos are ready to destroy RKBro.

Randy Orton vs. Omos

An early RKO attempt doesn’t work and Orton has to try something else. Right hands in the corner don’t work either as Omos throws him down and grabs the neck crank. Orton fights up to knock him into the corner but Omos knees him in the ribs. A missed charge lets Orton fail at the RKO again, with the shove sending him outside this time. AJ goes after Orton on the floor and that’s good for a DQ at 3:38.

Rating: C-. That’s about all you can do here as you don’t want Omos to lose but you don’t want him beating someone of Orton’s caliber right before a title shot either. The reason for the DQ was kind of lame but it was the right way to go with a match like this one. It’s also smart to leave Omos in there for a short burst instead of a long match, as he just isn’t ready for anything beyond that yet.

Post match, Omos tosses Orton over the barricade with ease. AJ loads up the Phenomenal Forearm but Riddle runs in for the save, including a dropkick through the ropes to take Omos down. AJ gets kneed in the face so Omos carries him away. That leaves Riddle to help Orton up, leaving Orton to say respect is earned. He respected Riddle at one point but that does not mean he respects him today. After everything he has done in the last week though, Riddle has earned his respect. RKBro is BACK and Riddle is so happy that he throws out the title challenge for Summerslam.

We recap Jeff Hardy vs. Karrion Kross.

Jeff Hardy has spoken to his higher power and got the wrong answer. He’s bringing everything against Kross tonight….and here is Kross to jump Hardy.

Karrion Kross vs. Jeff Hardy

Non-title and Hardy starts fast…..but gets pulled into the Krossjacket for the tap at 42 seconds.

Eva Marie isn’t happy with Doudrop for failing to get Lillie so it’s a pair of slaps to the face. Doudrop is so angry that she stands that glaring as Eva leaves.

Earlier today, Reggie went to the park and talks about how he learned to do his flips and tricks here. R-Truth, in a grass costume, and Akira Tozawa run up for the chase and fail miserably. Reggie flips over the top of the car (Reggie: “Too easy.”) and drives off. Truth and Tozawa yell at each other.

Summerslam rundown.

Elias goes to his own grave. Elias is still dead.

Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash vs. Charlotte/???

The partner is Nia Jax, who laughs at Nikki for trying to take her down. The power game has Nikki down in a hurry instead and the villains take over. Charlotte comes in for a big boot on the floor to send us to a break. We come back with Nikki hitting a bulldog out of the corner, allowing the hot tag off to Ripley. Everything breaks down and Ripley gets Samoan dropped. The Banzai Drop is loaded up but Charlotte tags herself in, knocks Nikki down, and hits Natural Selection for the pin at 7:28.

Rating: D+. Another match where Nikki is basically an afterthought, because that’s all she is in the division. Ripley isn’t that much better, and now it seems that we might be heading for Charlotte vs. Jax down the line. I’ve given up hope in this division and the title match on Saturday isn’t exactly making that any better.

AJ Styles is ready to destroy Riddle and Randy Orton.

Here is Goldberg for the face to face with Bobby Lashley, but first of all, he gets to talk, because GOLDBERG is so known for his verbal dominance. Goldberg brings up MVP and Lashley talking about fatherhood, which brings Goldberg to his son Gage. It’s true that Gage can see videos of Goldberg wrestling, but Goldberg wants him to see it in person (Haven’t we heard him say that like FIVE TIMES NOW?).

Lashley and MVP come out with MVP saying Goldberg has been talking a lot lately. Lashley gets in the ring and says this is his house and the house always wins. Goldberg calls that BS and spears him before posing with his son (who seems to have his high school football team with him) to end the show. This was as bad as everything else has been in this feud, because it is the same story they have told with Goldberg and his son before and it isn’t exactly interesting to hear Goldberg talk (or wrestle, but that’s a different problem).

Overall Rating: D-. I can’t call it a complete failure because some of the wrestling was good and the AJ/Omos vs. RKBro angle is working well (more on that later). The problem is everything else, as this show has some of the worst plot devices and storytelling I’ve ever seen. We have feuds based on someone being ALMOST a superhero, a sword, a water gun, a sentient doll, and someone’s son who needs to see his dad wrestle despite having seen his dad wrestle several times in his life.

That’s where everything falls apart on Raw: the stories are not good. It also doesn’t help that with those stories, we’re getting (in order): more Charlotte dominance, Jinder Mahal, Miz and John Morrison every week, Alexa Bliss and Lillie the Fiend and more Goldberg main events. This show was supposed to make me want to see Summerslam, meaning this is their best foot forward stuff. This is their BEST, making me scared of what it is going to be like when they aren’t trying to get me to give them money.

It’s also what makes the Tag Team Title feud stand out. As out there as Riddle is (and he’s out there), he’s displaying a human emotion. Riddle wants Orton to be his friend, Orton won’t do it, Riddle stays at it and gets what he wants through hard work. That is something people can relate to and that is what is lacking everywhere else on Raw. The rest of the characters and stories are not things people are going to relate to and it comes off more as WWE just doing whatever they feel like instead of putting on good material. That’s how we got in this situation and I have no idea how to get out of it. Another awful, horrible Raw.

Results
AJ Styles b. Riddle – Styles Clash
Rhea Ripley b. Nikki Ash – Riptide
Drew McIntyre b. Veer/Shanky – Claymore to Shanky
Damian Priest b. The Miz – Brogue Kick
Mansoor b. Mace – Sunset flip
Randy Orton b. Omos via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Karrion Kross b. Jeff Hardy – Krossjacket choke
Charlotte/Nia Jax b. Rhea Ripley/Nikki Ash – Natural Selection to Ripley

 

 

 

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Smackdown – March 16, 2007: Keep It Going A Bit Longer

Smackdown
Date: March 16, 2007
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

I’m really not sure what to expect here and I kind of like that feeling. Last week’s Smackdown was a complete success with a pair of gems in Undertaker vs. Finlay and Kane vs. Batista. If they can come close to that this week, they are going to be in fine shape as they round the turn towards Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here is Batista to get things going (while rocking the heck out of a suit) on MizTV. Miz sucks up to Batista for the sake of not being ripped in half and brings out the latest WWE Magazine. There is an interview in here where Batista said that he was unstoppable, but Undertaker is the one who is really unstoppable. Miz thinks Undertaker could come out here right now and take Batista apart. The lights go off but pop back up and Miz laughs because he paid some guy in the back to turn them off. Batista finds if funny and shakes Miz’s hand….but he doesn’t find Miz funny. Destruction ensues.

Ashley and Kane are going to be on Smallville. I remember that episode.

Mr. Kennedy vs. Matt Hardy

Feeling out process to start with Kennedy not looking all that worried. Hardy takes him down with a hammerlock but gets sent into the corner for his efforts. That earns Kennedy a running clothesline and they crash out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Kennedy grabbing a cravate to keep Hardy in trouble.

Hardy fights up but the corner bulldog is shoved away, allowing Kennedy to hit a chop block. The leg is slammed into the apron and some knees to the knee keep Hardy in trouble. A clothesline gives Kennedy two and the Indian Deathlock goes on. Hardy turns it over (Does that hurt?) and Kennedy has to grab the rope for the break.

Kennedy is fine enough to go up and miss the Kenton Bomb, allowing Hardy to strike away. The Side Effect gives Hardy two and Kennedy’s rollup, while grabbing the rope, gets the same. Another Regal Roll is countered into the Twist of Fate to give Hardy the fast pin out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. This was a longer match and it’s weird to see Kennedy getting pinned clean. Kennedy worked over the leg for a good chunk of the match and then but Hardy worked through it until he could win in the end. That’s a story that works well for both guys and Hardy winning reminds you that he is actually pretty good around here.

Post break, Kennedy says that he’s still winning Money in the Bank.

MVP vs. El Grande Latte

Non-title, as Latte’s Honduran Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line. Cole brags about winning his Little League championship as MVP dismantles the rather thin Latte. Ballin connects and MVP ties him in the Tree of Woe to stomp away. The Playmaker finishes for MVP in a hurry.

Post match, MVP reiterates his challenge to Chris Benoit for Wrestlemania. MVP lists off some of the great US Champions and says he has more style than Ric Flair and more skill than Harley Race. He’s living the American Dream too as the poor boy from Miami, but maybe Chris Benoit isn’t hearing him. Maybe we should change his name from the Crippler to the Coward. Cue Teddy Long to say the match is on and here is Benoit to start the brawl.

This Monday: John Cena vs. Chris Benoit and Shawn Michaels vs. JBL. Cole isn’t convinced but JBL says he has something planned.

Melina/MNM vs. Ashley/Brian Kendrick/Paul London

Mercury (now without the mask) headlocks Kendrick to start but it’s quickly off to London to work on the arm. Enough about a match with half the people involved being champions though, as it’s time to talk about Vince McMahon and Donald Trump. The women come in and stare at each other before handing it back to Kendrick and Nitro. Everything breaks down and a double dive to the floor takes MNM down.

Back in and Melina gets in a cheap shot to the ribs and it’s a reverse chinlock with a knee in the back to keep him down. Nitro grabs the cravate and it’s back to Mercury to stay on him with some right hands. A double belly to back faceplant gets two on Kendrick and we’re off to a chinlock. Mercury goes after Ashley but the distraction allows the hot tag to London. Everything breaks down and Melina gets in a cheap shot on Ashley, leaving London to walk into the Snapshot for the pin.

Rating: C. The women might as well have been on the outside here but I get the concept at least. I’m not sure how bad it is going to be for Ashley to be in a title match at Wrestlemania but the fact that she was barely active here isn’t the most encouraging. The guys could probably work this match in their sleep, but London and Kendrick haven’t been around much as of late so there wasn’t a ton of energy to the whole thing.

Video tribute to Ernie Ladd.

Maryse welcomes us back to the show.

King Booker and Queen Sharmell are not happy that he has to wrestle the Undertaker tonight. Finlay comes in looking for Hornswoggle but they don’t care about him. Hold on though, as Booker asks Finlay for advice against Undertaker. Finlay: “RUN!” The guys leave and Hornswoggle appears, carrying a pitcher of beer. He wishes Sharmell a Happy St. Patrick’s Day and asks for a kiss, sending her running off screaming. Well that was creepy.

Celebrities pick Vince McMahon vs. Donald Trump.

Long video on the Trump vs. McMahon contract signing.

Daivari vs. Kane

Kane’s entrance cuts off Daivari’s rant so we’re starting fast. The destruction doesn’t take long as Kane knocks him into the corner and hammers away with the variety you would probably expect. The choke shove sends Daivari out through the ropes and it’s a chokeslam onto the steps. Then Kane grabs the hook chain and ties Daivari up, which I think is enough for the no contest.

Post break Kane drags Daivari backstage and seemingly into the boiler room.

Mr. Fuji Hall of Fame video.

Undertaker vs. King Booker

Batista is on commentary. Booker actually wins an early slugout but the advantage doesn’t last long as Undertaker punches him into the corner. They’re on the floor in a hurry with Booker going face first into the steps. Back in and Old School is broken up, allowing Booker to drop him with a running forearm. A big boot takes Booker down just as fast for two and now Old School can connect.

Undertaker’s running DDT gets two and it’s time for the slow rights and lefts in the corner. As Undertaker clotheslines him outside, JBL says that Batista is better than King Kong Bundy and Giant Gonzalez. Undertaker makes the mistake of stopping to glare at Batista though and Booker gets in a cheap shot as we take a break. Back with Booker hitting a side slam for two and grabbing a chinlock. That’s broken up and Undertaker pulls him outside to start the brawling again.

They get back inside with Booker kneeing away to block a superkick and we hit the front facelock. Booker hammers away but Undertaker does it a bit better, setting up Snake Eyes into the big boot. Undertaker hits the jumping clothesline but Booker is back with the jumping side kick for two. Back up and the Undertaker tries the Last Ride, only to get jumped by Finlay for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two beat each other up and that’s all you can ask for here. Well maybe save for Undertaker getting the pin, as it isn’t like Booker losing to Undertaker is going to derail him. Booker was actually working harder here and it was a harder hitting offense than usual this week. Good match, but the ending was a bit weird.

Post match the brawl is on with Undertaker getting the better of things, including throwing Finlay into Batista. Undertaker walks up the ramp as Batista is livid to end the show. This has been a really well built story so far and I want to see these two fight.

Overall Rating: C+. This wasn’t as good as last week, but that was a pretty high ceiling to reach. What matters here is they are making Wrestlemania look good and none of the recent shows have been awful. If they can keep that momentum up for the next two weeks, Wrestlemania might be even better than it seems, which would be rather impressive. Another good show this week.

 

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 2009 (Original) They’re At It Again

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

With another year under our belts since the previous Summerslam, our main feuds are Cena and Orton and Punk (woo!) and Hardy. As many of you may likely know, this very well could be Hardy’s last match with the company. Our other big deal is the return (again) of DX, this time facing Legacy.

While a lot of people have criticized this, the segment that they had on Raw was excellent in my eyes. Shawn is a guy that can just come from nowhere and have a great match. The card actually looks pretty freaking sweet tonight. That doesn’t mean it’ll be good, but let’s get to this.

I liked the Summerslam logo this year. It looked a bit old school. The intro is hijacked by DX doing shadow puppets, but they freeze it on Legacy. Apparently this was the kiss cam and Cody loves Ted. Ted says ditto. So he loves himself I guess?

Anyway, they have some shenanigans going on which are kind of funny. I like the DX comedy sometimes. It’s not going to be the 90s version, so why compare it to that? It was fairly funny, involving DX breaking the feed of the intro and Shawn trying to fix it. It’s better than it sounds.

JR does the opening alone. That’s just odd. I like Aerosmith though so I’m not complaining about the music. As has become the custom, no buildup for the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m quite surprised this is opening. This is a rematch from NOC as well, which allegedly was brought on by Rey simply whining about not having a long enough reign yet. Based on that, I think the title change is coming here but odder things have happened before. They had a great match last month so I’m assuming this will be good too. Ziggler is growing on me, but I have a hard time getting on Kerwin White.

Rey comes out first. Why? He’s the champion. Now we get Grisham to talk so that’s an improvement I guess. I like the purple and gold on him. It’s almost reminiscent of his WCW days but not quite. I miss the big semi-circle video screen that they used to have for Summerslam. Ross forgot Ziggler’s first name. How dare he forget the real name of Ivan Drago? Ziggler’s music is awesome. How did Kerwin White actually keep a job this long?

Just goes to show you that you can’t make fun of wrestlers when they have horrible gimmicks. Other than Santino of course. He will always suck. The graphic of the belt looks very cool for some reason. Wow the IC belt is actually opening the show. That’s an odd thing to think of. Ziggler is freaking ripped. I’m getting close, dangerously close actually, to liking this guy.

Love that quick powerslam that’s done coming off of the ropes. It just looks awesome. Ok, that moonsault was SWEET. Rey doesn’t do his old style often, but when he does it’s freaking amazing. Ziggler has leopard print gloves. That’s either really stupid or really awesome. That was a pretty weak corner powerbomb. I guess Rey’s size makes up for it. This has been pretty hard hitting so far. What more can you ask for?

Apparently Rey makes a habit out of getting people in the corner and drop toe holding them. Yeah I’ve never seen him do that in the corner either. Thank you JR. Dolph just kills him with a clothesline afterwards. That looked awesome. He used a Stinger Splash. He has to be cool. Sick looking head bump on the post from it too. Rey goes for a springboard reverse crossbody but Dolph hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs. That was sweet.

This is a very good match. And there it is. We have our stupid way to get into position for the 619. My only criticism of Dolph is his offense is a bit basic. If he upgrades that he’ll be very good. He’s rocking the bad Mr. Perfect haircut though, so I’m not wild about that either. I kind of like the white ropes, but I’m not sure.

Ziggler finally avoids the springboard splash in the most basic way of all: he sits up. Why is that so complicated for some people? The fans are chanting for Ziggler here, which is surprising but also good I guess. Rey gets a hurricanrana from the top to win and keep the title in a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT opener. It was fast paced, it was solid, and the face won. I’m hyped for the rest of the show and it’s 330 in the morning. That’s exactly what an opening match is supposed to be. See how effective the IC belt can be when it’s not being used in bad comedy angles? Ziggler looks awesome here which is all you can ask for. See what they do on Smackdown? They have the veterans make the young guys look good. That’s how you keep the future going people.

Josh is in the back with Swagger and MVP who say that tonight there’s a culture clash. Both are solid on the mic here, but Swagger impresses me a lot more. He’s got the heel character down to a T and the cockiness is perfect. MVP is good, but not as good. Also, he talks about how Swagger has this great background and was a rich kid. Ok, that’s fine, but he still won with athleticism in the NCAA. Swagger won this promo war with ease and he’s making the DDP two time two time thing better.

King and Lawler say nothing of importance.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

My goodness…could it be? I mean, it’s impossible isn’t it? This couldn’t be…a regular non-title midcard match? I…I think it is! Now, can you find anyone that actually thinks MVP has a chance? His face turn has been a complete disaster as he’s just cut out to be the cocky heel. Go back to it already. After those promos, I’m looking forward to this. The opening 25 minutes to this has been pretty sweet so far.

MVP goes for the Ballin Elbow about 19 seconds into this, but because it takes longer than that to set it up, it doesn’t work. I don’t get why these two are having this match anyway, since Swagger pinned him clean already on Raw. This is a very slow paced match and the fans aren’t liking it that much. They’re way behind the face though as he’s in the Monsoon Special, which I’m sure Gorilla would find something wrong with.

Looking at it, it is pretty sloppy. Sick clothesline stops MVP’s comeback though. Into a half camel clutch which wouldn’t actually hurt but now it’s full. At least Swagger knows how to hurt people. Ok, Swagger gets knocked down and MVP sets up for the Ballin Elbow. I timed him on this: SIXTEEN SECONDS from the time that he got in position to the time it connected. That’s over 5 pins. Seriously, could you not just cover the guy in that amount of time?

They fight a bit more…and MVP wins clean with the playmaker? What the heck? MVP actually won this thing and he did it clean. How in the world did that happen? I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I don’t think it’s in a good way. AGAIN they mention the chick from The View. WE GET IT!

Rating: C. This was fine, but short and surprising. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at just 6 and a half minutes they didn’t have the time to get anything going. There were some bad spots in there too where it was just flat out boring, but luckily they were quick. Again, not bad, but it’s really nothing special. It felt like a Raw match.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice actually.

Luke Perry is here. I don’t care.

We get a recap of the guest hosting thing, which I think has gone well. ZZ Top was awful but other than that, I think it’s gone well. I still want to murder Dr. Ken though. It’s worked for one simple reason in my eyes: for the most part, they’ve gotten people that either have a ton of charisma or seem like legit WWE fans. That’s all you can ask for really.

Nancy O’Dell reads off a script about her charity. Yeah that’s fine. It’s for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She talks to people like Freddie Prinze Jr…and that’s it. She’s apparently going to host Raw in the future. I’ll be reading something that night. She’s very annoying.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Speaking of annoying, I don’t like the champion’s new music. This has actually been built up pretty well I’d think, with Show being the partner to replace Edge when he got hurt. It seemed to me that was a last second decision, but whatever. Cryme Tyme is one of the oddest teams I can ever remember. They’ve never actually done anything, so maybe they will here. I’m not holding my breath though.

Actually, this match has gotten the third most build, which isn’t what I expected. However, I’m certainly glad to see a tag title match getting this kind of TV time. It’s what the belts really need. Again the champions come out first. Jericho runs down celebrities in general. Isn’t he a celebrity as well? Oh apparently he’s a superstar, which isn’t a celebrity. That…doesn’t make a lot of sense.

For the second time in 2 minutes we hear that they have over 40 titles between them. Show looks like he’s losing a bit of weight. That’s a good thing. Cryme Tyme interrupts Show’s promo. Remember what I said about the show being good so far? They just ruined it. They’re just freaking annoying to say the least. What have they ever actually accomplished? Oh yeah they got fired for being annoying.

JR makes another reference that no one gets. There’s no way that the faces are winning here, due to reasons of suck, but maybe at least we can get a decent match out of it. Yeah that’s not going to happen I don’t think. Jericho goes for the walls but instead goes for a slingshot. JTG just kind of jumps on him, which looks sloppy and stupid as usual. Grisham says that they’re trying to turn Hollywood into Holly-hood. Take me now.

JTG has to stay in there longer than he should simply because Shad sucks. He’s a beast as far as his look goes though, and he’s able to stand up to Show in the size department. Yeah he’s a lot better on defense. Show is freaking scary to say the least. Jericho whispers a spot to Shad which looks really bad. It’s never good when it’s on a major PPV and a veteran has to carry a team that’s been around as long as Cryme Tyme has been.

I think that’s my real issue with them: they’ve been around for a good few years and they just never get any better. The full nelson is applied, and of course we have the eternal question: WHO WAS NELSON? Maybe Babyface Nelson? Anybody? Anybody? I’ll be here all night. Jericho puts another hold on him, which makes sense because it’s really all Shad can do: get put in holds and sit there. It’s a scary thing when JTG is the bright spot of the team. Yeah this team is awful.

Jericho gets him in the Walls, and amazingly, he doesn’t tap. Seriously, can they bury this move any more than they already have? It’s just stupid how it doesn’t work on anyone at all anymore. When’s the last time someone tapped to it? Anyway, Show hits the punch for the knockout and Jericho gets the glory.

I’m really starting to like this team dynamic as Jericho does all the talking but Show wins the matches for them. At the very end of the segment, Ross mentions Big Show is undefeated at Summerslam. See, that is an interesting stat, and it would have been a lot more interesting at the beginning of the match.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was boring. Shad is just flat out awful, and JTG is just ok. The only reason they get over is their gimmick and nothing more. That’s just flat out boring in all aspects and nothing good comes of it. I can’t stand them and there was just nothing they could do here to make this interesting at all.

Ad for Breaking Point. Interesting concept, but I’m not sold on it. The main events only thing makes me feel better though.

Josh is with Punk who says a movie script he found called the Jeff Hardy story. He runs down LA and the lifestyle there and elsewhere, which yet again, rings amazingly true on so many levels. Every single thing that Punk has said in his promos has been true, and it’s amazing to say the least.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Again, no transition at all. I like Kane’s music here. Once Kane is in the ring, we actually get a long recap, which could have gone…I don’t know, before his entrance so it’s not him just standing there in the ring? This is an intriguing match to me as they’ve had a fairly long build with no official match. That’s a nice plus for a change as it gives this a bit more of a build. Now, if they manage to have a passable match, then we have proof that HBK/God vs. the McMahons was indeed a tag team match.

The reveal of Singh as Khali’s brother was pretty boring but it gives it a bit of a reason for being around Khali so much. Hopefully, this will be short and painless, but I’m not betting on that. JR mentions that Kane is on a four match winning streak at Summerslam. See? That’s another interesting stat and it makes you wonder if he can extend it here tonight. It’s small, but it adds a tiny bit more to the match and might get people more interested in it.

That’s what a commentator is supposed to do: offer insight. When you watch a DVD and listen to a special commentary, you’re listening for insights, maybe some numbers or stories that you wouldn’t know otherwise. That’s what wrestling commentators are supposed to do, but it so rarely happens which is a shame. JR says it’s a bowling shoe match, meaning we’re sorry that this is going to suck so badly.

A lot of this is just Khali showing off how strong he is, which is fine I guess, but I’d like more action. Khali misses a bad looking legdrop and then just sits there. He doesn’t sell anything or anything like that, but just sits there for the low dropkick. Kane apparently sees evil and likes it. I guess that’s why See No Evil sucked: Kane just wasn’t motivated. They fight over their respective chokeslams but that goes nowhere. Oh this is bad. It’s just so freaking sloppy.

To be fair though, what do you expect from two monsters like these? Khali with a sick sounding chop. The top rope clothesline puts Khali down and gets two. He doesn’t really kick out but it’s implied his shoulder was up. JR brings up an interesting point: if Khali quit in his language, would the referee understand it? Amazingly, the Khali chop isn’t enough for a pin. Geez Khali’s hands are freaking massive.

Kane hits a running dropkick to the knee and a running DDT for the win. That finish was kind of awesome actually. I love that Kane didn’t use a bad chokeslam to win it. That’s what I want to see more of in the WWE today: wrestlers winning with moves other than their finishers. It’s not really that hard to do and it works very well I think. Do it more often.

Rating: D+. Oy this was bad indeed. It was very sloppy, but the ending made it a lot better. Also, it was less than 6 minutes. See, that’s intelligent booking. You know these two aren’t going to have a great match, so keep it short. That makes a lot of sense and it made things a lot better than they could have been.

Some hot woman from a talk show is here. Slash is here too, so it’s closer to making me care. Robert Patrick is here.

We hit the recap button on DX vs. Legacy. This one is pretty short. HHH kept getting his head kicked in by them so he said he’d make one phone call. It wound up being about three but he eventually found Shawn as a cook in a diner in San Antonio, in what I thought was a very funny segment. This was followed up by Legacy actually beating them down in a run in on Raw a few days prior to this which at least made this look possible.

Oddly, the stuff about him being a cook is completely omitted from the recap video. What we do get though is a bunch of clips from some of their old exploits which have absolutely nothing to do with this feud or match. For some reason people were hoping that X-Pac or someone like that would return. People, the old DX is dead. All you’re going to get is these two buffoons, so be happy with it and let go of the past already.

Also, this really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. They’re going to have decent matches and it’s going to help Legacy look legit if they win a single match, which is a good thing. DX can do whatever they like out there and they’re going to get cheered. What else can you ask for out of them really? It’s HHH against someone not named Orton. Be happy.

DX vs. Legacy

Now this is for some reason considered one of the main events. Why? What makes this one of the big matches? Yes, Shawn is back, but when HHH returned against Booker in 2007 it was a midcard match and that was fine. I get that it’s the third biggest match by default, but that doesn’t mean it should be. I’d put the tag titles above this as they’ve had far more build, but whatever. Anyway, let’s get to this.

Ok, I’ve heard great things about the DX intro, and I’ll admit, it was awesome. Basically, it’s an army theme with a bunch of troops coming out in a jeep and firing off guns. Then the stage splits apart and DX comes out on a tank, launching of a bunch of fireworks. The fans are WAY into it and it’s cool. Everything is loud and big here and the crowd is screaming. That’s what you’re looking for here. The fans are the most important thing at the end of the day and they’re loving this.

Screw the people that think the return of DX was stupid. It’s cool and it’s working. The glow sticks are a cool idea too and I’m surprised it took this long for them to be invented. It takes about 5 minutes, but so what? The reaction was awesome, so rock on. Legacy is the evil opponent here, but they have some sweet music. It’s not as great as their 39th song, but it’s better than theme 341B. The announcers point out that this is a huge chance for Legacy and they’re absolutely right.

DX is a team of two hall of fame members, and Legacy are young guys. This is their chance, so hopefully they don’t get crushed. Naturally, HHH starts going strong which makes sense as he’s the face, so why wouldn’t he be in control at first? Oh apparently the right knee of HHH is his vintage knee. That’s good to know. Shawn gets tagged in to a big pop. Apparently the fans think something of this guy.

He does a cool spot where he fakes Cody out when Cody goes for a leapfrog but Shawn gets slapped. That was stupid don’t you think? There’s the return slap that you knew was coming. Legacy is controlling the match. That’s a lot more than I expected them to do actually. HHH is in now and not dominating. This is being worked slowly towards a big ending. That’s a truly lost art in tag team wrestling today.

I’m liking this: DX gets momentum and Legacy keeps stopping them. See, this is how you build a tag team: you let them look good. That’s what veterans are supposed to do: make young guys look good. DiBiase uses a chin lock. Good to see those Orton lessons paying off. It amuses me that as a tag team, Legacy is light years more successful than DX has been. Legacy is I think 3 time tag champions?

DX has definitely never won a tag title. What does that tell you? Lawler says this isn’t what DX had in mind. Yeah they were looking for some Chinese Checkers. Legacy is doing a great job here of keeping HHH in the ring. That’s very old school and it’s working quite well here. We get the boo yay punching sequence which I always kind of hate. Shawn gets the tag in. Cody goes for the Shawn elbow, which apparently is him stealing the move.

I love how they make no issue of Shawn stealing it from Savage who was winning world titles with it before Shawn debuted in the WWF. DX is actually in trouble here and the announcers are putting them over huge, which is all you can ask for. The crowd starts wooing as Shawn puts on a figure four. Cody hits Crossroads on Shawn, which is actually a pretty good name for his finishing move I guess. Rhodes takes a Pedigree as Shawn takes Dream Street.

Dang I actually couldn’t tell Legacy apart there. That’s not a good sign at all. In one of the fastest endings I’ve ever seen, Shawn hits Sweet at least 4 inches from Cody’s Chin Music for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t even close. Literally they were both just standing up and leaning on each other then Shawn took a step back and kicked. Yeah he missed but maybe the air knocked Cody down?

Rating: A. This was a great tag team match for many reasons, but the big one was that Legacy was made to look legit. This wasn’t like when DX dismantled the Spirit Squad week in and week out. Legacy had me believing that the upset was indeed possible. DX made them look good here in a very good 20 minute match. DX should have won, but they won the right way here. That was by far Legacy’s biggest and best match ever, and they brought their best. I’m impressed with both teams.

Ad for the WM 25 special on Saturday which is going to bomb.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Not a ton of backstory here. One night on the Abraham Washington Show, a talk show segment on ECW, Regal was simply announced as the #1 contender. 5 days prior to this, he hooked up with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson to form a trio with the only real thing in common being that they’re heels. This should be ok I guess. I still have no clue what the massive appeal of Christian is, although he’s had some decent matches lately.

I feel so sorry for the ECW announcers. Literally, we haven’t heard their voices until now, an hour and 40 minutes into the show. Also, yet again the champion comes out first. That’s just odd. Regal comes out with his two big henchmen.

Jackson’s heel turn was just odd as he was a face for all of two weeks and he was never an actual face at that. All that being said, it’s a 10 second match. Regal gets hit with the Killswitch and is out. Jackson and Kozlov are you beaters tonight. I prefer the Weasleys, but that’s just me. They half kill him here as the name Regal’s Roundtable is used. I like that…kind of.

Rating: N/A. Regal doesn’t belong on a major show like this, so I have no issues here at all. I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about how this was a disgrace and what not like that. Bull, this was great. Number one, the exact same thing happened last year as the ECW Title match got 33 seconds. Number two, this got the people’s attention and it made them believe that a match could end at any time.

That’s one of the major evils in WWE right now: there’s no point to watch the first 10-15 minutes of a world title match as it’s always going to go longer than that. Here you have a match where if you turn around to pet your cat the match is over. That’s brilliant. Number three, there was no build at all here. This gives you something to further the angle so you can have a rematch next month. Number four, people are talking about this now.

Isn’t that the point of any match? Number five, EVERYONE knew Christian was retaining here. How awesome does this make him look as champion? He beat an established veteran that fast with one move. This was a stroke of genius, not a disgrace.

They air some video about some F list celebrities and a charity event the roster was at. I won’t make fun of charity events, ever.

Let’s thank Aerosmith for our pointless theme song.

We get something resembling a recap of last Monday where they were tag partners. Cole says that Orton showed his true colors by attacking Orton after the match. EXCUSE ME? HE IS A FREAKING HEEL! HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN THE TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE! How is he showing his true colors by doing what he’s done the whole time? My goodness Cole does it cost you money to think or something?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Well, at least it’s not HHH again. Basically, it’s pretty simple. Cena won the beat the clock thing to get here, and no one is surprised at all. In a rematch from two years ago, let’s do this. Cena runs to the ring which is kind of odd indeed. He gives his hat to his Marine co-star. Great way to get over with the kids there Johnny Boy. Orton comes out to a chorus of mostly boos. Why does the title graphic spin when the belt itself doesn’t?

My goodness I love the big fight introductions. They just work on all levels. After those, we get our recaps. Yeah that’s actually a bit better. It doesn’t waste as much time. They start off on the mat which actually goes pretty well. That’s something you rarely see from these two and while they’re hardly Kurt Angle, that was pretty good. Orton puts Cena down for awhile and when Cena is trying to get back up, it really looks like he’s trying to give Orton head through the tights.

I know that’s said a lot, but this is the closest it’s ever gotten. Orton takes FOREVER to drop a knee which looks like he’s going for a splash. It’s a new move, so of course it’s vintage. I have no problem when it’s actually a vintage move: HBK’s forearm, the facebuster by HHH, Old School etc. However, a move by Orton that he’s bene using for a few months at most? Give me a break. It’s a misuse of the word and insulting to my intelligence.

Cena hits You Can’t See Me, even though I can see him the entire time. This match is FLYING by. It feels like there was no intro or build and we’re already in the middle of it. That’s not good. FU doesn’t go and Orton hits a powerslam, called a scoop slam by Cole, to get back in control. They flat out say the WWE Title is the more valuable title. At least they admit it. Orton goes for the same knee and this time Cena gets out of the way. At least he’s intelligent.

I really don’t like this referee. He has that hitch in his count and it’s just aggravating. Orton hits that elevated DDT which I love as it’s a move that the ropes actually make better. Orton’s eyes really are great when he’s setting for the RKO. Facial expressions can make or break a match. Edge, Orton and Punk are some of the best there are at it. Punt misses and Cena hits the throwback. He hits the top rope legdrop about as well as he ever has, which is to say he actually connected with it.

Apparently Cena throwing his hands up and jumping up and down means FU now. It’s double clothesline time to make this a bit boring. Why is it only on a double clothesline that they’re devastating moves and not something that the guy pops up from? The fans seem confused as to who to cheer for. Orton shoves the referee, rolls to the floor and grabs his belt and leaves.

I say that as Lillian is on screen making me think I should rephrase that, but at the same time maybe I shouldn’t. Within seconds, she’s received word from Vince…but she trails off. She then announces Orton as the new champion, when she was supposed to say still champion. That’s a major mistake and I think it’s because they blew the spot and tried to do too much at once.

Cole tries to cover as fast as he can, and NOW we get the orders right as Vince has said that if Orton gets disqualified Cena wins the belt. More on that later. So the match is restarted and Cena is dominating. Orton goes to the floor and asks for the belt, which is dropped at first, and then he walks to the back saying that he’s done.

Ok, now we’re restarting it AGAIN, and now if he gets counted out we have a new champion. Ok, how in the HECK did she get word that fast? Both finishers are teased but Orton gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes to steal it.

OR DOES HE?

Another referee comes out and says that Orton has his feet on the ropes, so the original referee says this doesn’t count. Ok wait, back up. What about all the times when it’s said that the referee’s decision is final? If that’s the case, then one of two things should happen. #1, no match can end until the referee has had a chance to go back and rewatch the match, or #2, no decision is ever final since if the referee’s decision is final, then he could in theory go back and reverse it at anytime.

In other words, if the referee can reverse his own final decision, then couldn’t a referee go back and reverse something from years ago? If he has final say I don’t see why not. Guess what? It’s another restart. Best sign of the year: This is Why I Watch Smackdown. Preach it brother. STFU is put on and we get the rapidly becoming infamous moment as a “fan” (it’s Ted DiBiase’s brother Brett but that’s not revealed until tomorrow night) jumps into the ring.

Ok, reasons why this is clearly fake. #1, everything stops. In a real situation like this they just keep going. #2, they put the camera on the guy. That makes it fake as whenever this happens, the cameras go off and you can see the fans all watching the guy. #3, they talk about it. That NEVER happens.

#4, and most important of all, given the fact that the match has been restarted 3 times now, do you really expect this to be real? That was my biggest reason. It’s too unrealistic (and that’s saying a lot given this match) for it to have not been planned. Orton hits a quick RKO for the pin.

Rating: B-. For this rating, I’m factoring out all the insanity and I’ll explain why in just a second. Without all that stuff, this was a bad match. It was boring, it was very rushed, and it just wasn’t entertaining. However, I blame a lot of that on the booking, which is what killed this for me. The rating is fairly up there because a lot of the rhythm was taken away by stupid booking. Lillian messed up her lines, and that’s fine.

She had three freaking sets of them. This match suffered horribly from being overbooked. Why do you need the three restarts if you’re going to do the fan thing? Do one or the other, not four things. It’s too confusing, it takes too long, and it’s just stupid by the end. The fan run in thing would have been fine and actually pretty creative if not for the other three restarts.

Why do you need to have so much stuff in the world title match? It makes things look silly to me and it just makes thing far more complicated than they need to be. The match was bad, but the grade will be high because I think a lot of what was bad was based on the booking of the match and not what the wrestlers were doing. In essence, they had to remember four finishes. That’s asking too much of any wrestler and I think it had a lot to do with them not being that on here.

We recap the Punk/Hardy feud, which has been AWESOME.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

This has been one of the best feuds in recent memory for a few reasons. One, it’s Punk at his best. Two, the clash is so natural that it’s great. Three, the matches have been great. It’s possible Hardy is done after this, so I’d expect a new champion. Punk lost the title to Hardy at Night of Champions in what I would call an odd choice after Punk delivered one of the best promos I’ve ever heard that had me cheering in my room.

Anyway, this is a TLC match, which actually plays into the two time MITB winner’s hands I’d think. Thankfully this has gone on last. Other than some lines from Ross about how Hardy is addicted to adrenaline, it’s a standard hard hitting spotfest that you’ve grown to know and accept in these places. Hardy has some mixed reactions here as I think it’s gotten out that he’s gone. Do announcers not pay attention?

Why are all ladders the biggest they’ve ever seen? Did you know Jeff is like smoke being poured through a keyhole? I’m not sure if you caught it the first 10,000 times Ross has said it. Yep and there it is the major spot, as Hardy, for about the fourth time in his career, goes to the huge ladder and hits the super swanton. Yeah it looks cool, but dang we’ve seen it way too many times. Why didn’t Punk move either?

He wasn’t tied down and it took Hardy longer than it takes him to smoke a bowl to get up there. More commentary problems as this is going on too. Hey, in case you didn’t see it, here’s 15 replays. Hardy is being taken out on a stretcher. I guess that’s how they’re ending him? Yeah that’s…different I guess. While this is happening, Punk starts climbing. Hardy pops up to go after him though.

I love the powers of recuperation that wrestlers have. Punk is hopping up the ladder and it’s just hysterical looking. He looks like a rabbit. Hardy takes a straight fall down off the ladder as Punk takes the belt to end the show. Sweetness indeed. The announcers of course try to make this out to be completely epic. JR sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Way to show emotion there buddy. No wonder you’re in the Hall of Fame.

Before we go though, the gong rings. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams Punk, who is somehow STILL not being respected as champion. Yeah I don’t like this. Match was good though. Post match, a gong strikes. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams the new champion to end the show.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great way to end the show. It wasn’t complicated like the last show and to me shows why Smackdown is way ahead of Raw right now. This wasn’t all drama and over the top stuff. Sure it was a gimmick match, but it was about the match and not some big screwjob.

At the end of the day, the best way to get over and have a good match/feud is to have good action, not good stories. The last two matches are a classic example of that, and Smackdown did it right while Raw failed.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a VERY good show. It’s not great, but it’s close. The worst match of the night is Kane/Khali, but it’s at least watchable. They kept it short which was smart. The tag title wasn’t much but they kept JTG in there for the majority of the time which is certainly the right thing to do.

Other than that and the STUPID booking for the Raw title match, I really liked this show for one reason: it was about the in ring stuff. That’s the solution to any wrestling company’s problem. At the end of the day, have good matches and the fans will be happy. The matches were good and I’m very pleased with this show and it gets a big recommendation.

 

 

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Main Event – August 5, 2021: They’re Still At It

Main Event
Date: August 5, 2021
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Byron Saxton

It can always be curious to see how a bit of a harsher crowd might react to a show like this one. Main Event is back to its old self as of late and that is not the most inspiring news. Hopefully this is the show that shakes things up again, as the show could already use another change. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Angel Garza vs. Lince Dorado

Yep, it’s Main Event all right. Garza doesn’t seem to think much of the LUCHA dance so he takes Dorado down by the wrist. That’s broken up with a flying mare and a hurricanrana sends Garza outside. Hang on a second though as Garza needs to hand a rose to a fan, allowing Dorado to get in another takedown. Back in and Dorado grabs a neck crank until Garza backdrops his way to freedom. Garza flapjacks him for two but he has to fight out of a cross armbreaker. A dropkick lets Garza TAKE OFF HIS PANTS, setting up a superkick and the Wing Clipper to finish Dorado at 5:38.

Rating: C-. This was a bit of a weird one as it is hard to get my mind around the idea of Dorado as a heel. It wasn’t a full on heel turn or anything close, but it was certainly more about having Garza as the focal point here. That should be the case on a bigger stage but for now, we’ll have to settle for Garza as the latest Main Event star.

We recap John Cena wanting to face Roman Reigns, who accepted a challenge from Finn Balor instead.

From Smackdown.

It’s time for the contract signing between Roman Reigns and Finn Balor for Summerslam. Sonya Deville and Adam Pearce are in charge, with Pearce saying he knows the fighting is coming. Balor and Reigns, with Heyman, come out, with Reigns insisting on sitting at the head of the table. Pearce asks Reigns to sign, but Reign gets cut off by the CENA chants. Reigns: “We’ve already seen Mr. Missionary tonight.” Reigns asks if Balor heard Cena’s opening promo tonight, because Reigns thought it was Cena saying he was better than Balor. Cena has to use old material while Balor is fresh and new.

Reigns signs, but promises to send Balor back to NXT. Balor says he can’t wait to go back to NXT as Universal Champion again. Balor goes to sign but here is Baron Corbin to jump him from behind. The beating is on and Balor is left laying. Corbin grabs the contract but here is Cena to take Corbin out before he can sign. Cena signs the contract with a blue Sharpie (McAfee: “THAT SIGNATURE IS AWESOME!”). Cole and McAfee question the legality of signing a contract like this as Reigns seethes.

From Raw.

Here are MVP and Bobby Lashley for a chat. MVP is glad to have the fans back and knows they are all excited to see Goldberg. A few weeks ago, Goldberg challenged Lashley for the WWE Title but Lashley has yet to acknowledge the challenge. Goldberg is a legend who can destroy any man on any night, but Lashley is not just any man. MVP asks how Goldberg wants to….and here’s Goldberg to cut him off. Goldberg asks Lashley what kind of a gladiator he is. The first time Lashley saw Goldberg, Lashley thought he was a victim. Fans: “WE WANT WYATT!”

Goldberg lives by the spear and at Summerslam, Lashley dies by the spear. Goldberg leaves so MVP goes out to get in the face of Goldberg’s son. That brings Goldberg back out and the spear drops MVP. Goldberg: “You mess with my son, I’ll kill you!” The fans did not care about Goldberg here and it’s kind of hard to disagree. This whole thing feels forced and there isn’t much of a way around it.

Jaxson Ryker vs. Cedric Alexander

Ryker shoves Alexander into the corner to start but Cedric looks like he is going to have some fun. You don’t do that to Ryker, who grabs a spinning slam and hits a running headbutt. Alexander gets tied in the Tree of Woe for some forearms to the chest, setting up a clothesline to the floor. Back in and Cedric manages a clothesline off the apron and we take a break.

Back with Cedric grabbing an armbar and shouting at the fans a lot. Some elbows to the face make it worse but Ryker is back up with a spinebuster. Cedric is right back with his own seated armbar but this time Ryker powers up for the running corner clotheslines. Alexander’s tornado DDT rocks Ryker, who comes back with the swinging Boss Man Slam for the pin at 8:42.

Rating: C. This was a better way to go for Ryker, who needs someone like Alexander to bump off of him. The problem for Ryker continues to be the same thing though: other than glaring at people and having an intense stare, there isn’t much to focus on. He can do one thing well and that’s about it, which is not going to last all that long.

From Smackdown.

Here is Bianca Belair for a chat. She is so proud of her 111 day Women’s Title reign and now she is happy to be back in front of these people. Belair can’t wait to see what the next 100 days have….and here is Carmella to cut her off. Carmella thinks she should get another shot because the lighting at Rolling Loud was messing her up.

Cue Zelina Vega to say Carmella is too pretty to be a three time loser. Vega gets in Belair’s face to say the people want to see a rising star get a chance. Belair accepts the challenge but Carmella jumps her from behind. Cue the returning Sasha Banks (not for the first time since Wrestlemania McAfee) for the save and a big hug to Belair. That’s probably Summerslam.

From Smackdown.

Sasha Banks/Bianca Belair vs. Carmella/Zelina Vega

Belair and Carmella start fast by running Carmella over. Carmella gets in a few shots on Banks in the corner as everything breaks down. They all head outside with Belair gorilla pressing Banks, climbing onto the steps, and then throwing her onto the other two. We take a break and come back with Belair fighting out of a full nelson but getting slammed down anyway.

Carmella stomps away in the corner and Vega cuts off another hot tag attempt. Vega’s Black Widow is broken up in a hurry and the hot tag brings in Banks. House is cleaned, including Three Amigos to Vega. The frog splash gets two with Carmella making the save. Carmella’s X Factor is countered into the Bank Statement for the tap at 8:42.

Rating: C. Just a quick match to get Banks back in the ring with a win. I’m not sure I buy the idea that Banks is going to be Belair’s new best friend, but that is one of the two default stories for women in WWE these days. Hopefully this gets rid of Carmella from the title picture for the time being, as that has been done for a while now.

Belair and Banks celebrate after the match….until Banks jumps her. The beating is on and the Bank Statement makes Belair tap. Banks picks up the title and then puts the Bank Statement on again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. That’s how Main Event tends to go, as there was very little here worth seeing but it was good enough while it lasted. As usual focusing on Smackdown is a lot better than the Raw clips, but it wasn’t like the original stuff was worth seeing. Just another run of the mill Main Event, meaning it did help me remember what happened on the important shows.

 

 

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