Monday Nitro #109
Date: October 13, 1997
Location: Ice Palace, Tampa, Florida
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s one of the last shows before Halloween Havoc and WCW has been on fire lately. The main match tonight is a tag title defense with the Outsiders fighting a team to be announced. If they don’t defend the belts, they’ll be stripped of the titles. Not that it took forever to get them to defend the stupid things or anything like that though. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hogan (sans belt), Bischoff and Savage to open the show. Bischoff plugs Hogan’s new movie Assault on Devil’s Island and takes jabs at Raw for not being live. Yeah Eric I wouldn’t compare my show to 1997 Raw. Oh and Savage is in a neckbrace because of the Diamond Cutter last week. Hogan wants Piper to give him his belt back (Piper took it when he was running from Hogan and Bischoff last week) and that’s about it.

We see the Diamond Cutter on Savage from last week.

The announcers say there are four title matches this week. Is it sweeps week or something?

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Psychosis

Eddie is defending and there’s no Sonny Onoo with Psychosis for no apparent reason. Psychosis misses a charge into the corner to start, allowing Eddie to hit a fast suplex for two. Apparently Disco vs. Jackie at the PPV is non-title due to the athletic commission. Why is that match even happening? Has that ever been answered? Psychosis shrugs it off and hits a quick leg lariat and a baseball slide to send Eddie to the floor.

We get the spot of the match as Psychosis hits a big old senton backsplash to the floor, possibly injuring his back in the process though. Back in and the guillotine legdrop misses Eddie but Psychosis grabs a quick rollup for two anyway. Psychosis goes for the arm which is kind of rare to see in a lucha match. Once that goes nowhere Eddie takes over, only to walk into a backbreaker. The masked one goes up but is quickly crotched, superplexed and Frog Splashed for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C. This didn’t work that well but the injury might have had something to do with it. Eddie was gearing up for the showdown with Rey which needs to be announced already. This kept him looking strong though and that’s what a champion needs going into a big PPV title defense. Not a good match here but the big senton got the fans going at least.

Eddie teases ripping off the mask but walks away.

It’s time for the second of Tenay’s videos on lucha libre. Today he’s talking about masks and how important they are to culture of lucha libre. We see the making of masks and hear from Rey Mysterio Jr. and Senior (Rey’s uncle) who says how important the masks are in identity. We hear from Dr. Lechuga (I know some Spanish and either that’s a fake name or we’re hearing from Dr. Lettuce.) about the history of masks and the various cultures that form them. Psychosis talks about how important his mask is.

Rey worries about losing his mask, but that shouldn’t be a problem. Only a completely stupid company would stop making masks that popular which were guaranteed money makers. Silver King says why cover up my pretty face? La Parka says he wears a mask to scare people. We get clips from When Worlds Collide with Eddie getting his hair cut and hear about Luchas De Apuestas. For a two minute segment, this was AWESOME. I love these segments and there’s some really interesting stuff in there.

Here’s Piper who looks a bit different in the face this week. Makeup maybe? Piper is here to talk about Bischoff and makes it clear that he is the boss, not Bischoff. What happened to Savage last week was justice, not an unfair attack. Also Hogan doesn’t deserve to carry the belt (which is nowhere in sight) so for now it’s gone. Piper says the same thing he said last week about the Outsiders having to defend or be stripped and that’s it.

We recap Jarrett/Debra vs. Mongo.

Steve Regal vs. Steve McMichael

Mongo grabs a quick headlock and runs Regal over with a shoulder block. I do love it when heels like Regal are shocked when a much bigger and stronger guy runs them over. That’s always amusing. Off to a wristlock which is more Regal’s speed and he takes it down to the mat for some control. Mongo again powers out of it and tosses Regal around like something that is large and easy to throw around. Regal comes back with an uppercut and some stomping but Mongo pops up again. Now Mongo looks confused so he hits a few elbows and finishes Regal with the tombstone. That was a really awkward looking ending.

Rating: D. It continues to amaze me that Mongo somehow kept getting worse in the ring. He’s in there with one of the best technicians of all time and can’t get a watchable match? Regal is more than capable of walking him through this but I guess Mongo is even beyond Regal’s help. That says a lot.

Gene is with Debra and asks about rumors that Jarrett is gone. Apparently he is indeed gone (SWEET!) but she has a surprise for Mongo at Halloween Havoc. Mongo calls her a snake. No that would be her future husband, who would also be named Steve.

Yuji Nagata vs. Chris Jericho

The quest for Nagata to be useful or interesting continues. Sonny is here with Nagata but wasn’t with Psychosis. Apparently it’s Dragon vs. Nagata at the PPV. I know that would sway me into buying it. Jericho immediately goes for the arm with whatever hold he can put on it. When that doesn’t work, he goes with the easiest idea there is: kick him in the face. Now back to Nagata’s arm but Nagata hits a fast superplex to take over. A snapmare puts Jericho down and there’s a HARD kick to the Canadian’s back.

Now Nagata works on the arm but runs into a boot in the corner and gets caught by a middle rope missile dropkick. In something I’ve never seen, at least not from Jericho, he grabs Nagata in a half nelson and gives him a giant swing. That gets two and Nagata knocks him to the apron and then into the barricade. Out to the floor and Nagata goes into the post. They head back in but Jericho has to beat up Sonny. As they actually get back in, Sonny trips Jericho on the top and the Nagata Lock (standing figure four) gets the submission.

Rating: C. I get that Nagata is skilled and means a lot in Japan, but man alive he is dull in America. He’s just a guy in trunks using wrestling holds. Jericho at least plays to the crowd and has a ton of charisma which can get him through a match. I know Nagata is talented and such, but anything being different about him would be an improvement. He’s just so dull it’s almost unreal.

Raven is in a nursery next to a crib. He talks about how his earliest memories are of feeling of abandonment and sadness. Raven says that our futures are determined in these moments and we’re all creatures of this nature.

Bill Goldberg vs. Scotty Riggs

Goldberg has his signature music now. We get a shot of Saturn and Raven in the crowd along with a third person. I don’t recognize him but there’s a chance it’s Sick Boy. Richards is gone as well, I believe back to ECW. Goldberg shrugs him off and Riggs gets in a few right hands. The spear (more like a tackle here) takes Riggs down and Goldberg pounds away.

Riggs gets up some boots in the corner but gets slammed out of the corner a few seconds later. Scotty comes back with some dropkicks including one that sends Goldberg over the top. Apparently Judo Gene LeBell wants to train Goldberg. Bill will have none of this selling stuff and LAUNCHES Riggs into the barricade to take over again. Back in and the Jackhammer ends this. This would be #4 as Goldberg won on Saturday Night as well.

The Nitro Girls waste some time.

Here are Hall and Syxx for the Survey. The fans actually side with WCW on this one which is a rarity around this time. Hall complains about having to face both Luger and Zbyszko but it’s the only way WCW can have a chance. Apparently Nash is out with an injury and the Steiners want a title match tonight. That’s cool because Syxx will take Nash’s place. As Hall is talking, a fan hits him in the face with a piece of trash. It nailed him square in the jaw.

Tag Titles: Steiner Brothers vs. Scott Hall/Syxx

For the sake of clarity, only Scott Steiner will be referred to as Scott and Scott Hall will only be referred to as Hall. Hall is quickly sent to the floor and the Steiners stand tall. We start with Scott vs. Syxx and there’s a wheelbarrow slam for Syxx to give the Steiners control. Off to Rick vs. Hall with Steiner pounding away, only to get caught by a clothesline to give the NWO control. Rick will have none of that though and hits a middle rope clothesline. Steiner goes up again but a cross body (huh?) is caught in a fallaway slam by Hall.

Rick won’t sell it though and knocks Syxx off the apron, only to be decked by Hall again. Hall pounds on him in the corner but Rick comes back with a Steiner Line. Hot tag brings in Scott and house is cleaned. The Steiner DDT off the top gets two on Syxx as Hall pulls the referee to the floor. Larry Z comes down to scare Hall back to the ring and there’s the Steiner Bulldog to Hall. The Steiners get a double cover and Larry counts the pin for the titles. You know, because being a guest referee in 13 days counts as being a referee here.

Rating: C-. The match was short but the fans were very hot for it. This had been built up for months upon months but then when they get to the payoff, we don’t even get Hall and Nash to do the job. You know, because of that “knee injury” Nash had. Isn’t it amazing how he’s hurt every time that he has to do a job? I’m sure we’ll hear more about the refereeing issue.

Tony says they have an injury update on Savage: “Who cares?” The heartlessness is pretty sad. And yes I know it’s a fake injury.

The Nitro Girls dance a bit.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Apparently the decision in the tag match stands because Larry is an assigned official. Assigned at a PPV but what difference does that make? Also Eric can’t reverse the decision. Rey gives his mask to a baby at ringside but the baby gives it back to him. It’s fast paced stuff to start with Dean taking it to the mat to slow Rey down. Back up and Rey goes from a test of strength into a sunset flip for two. Dean catapults him to the apron but Mysterio pops right back in.

Back in and Rey counters a variety of holds by Dean by flying through the air, only to be caught by a leg lariat for two. A quick victory roll gets two for Rey but a headscissors is countered into a side slam for no cover. Off to a figure four necklock by Dean for a few seconds before he powerbombs Rey halfway back to Mexico for two. Rey comes back and pounds away in the corner but Dean launches him into the corner.

Mysterio lands on the top rope and hits a flip attack to take Dean down again. A sunset flip gets two on Malenko and the West Coast Pop looks to finish. At two though Eddie runs in and rips Rey’s mask off, causing him to break the hold. Malenko backflips up into the Texas Cloverleaf and Rey taps immediately to hide his face.

Rating: B. This was one of the better matches I’ve ever seen them have and one of the best cruiserweight matches they’ve ever had on Nitro. They barely ever stopped moving other than a quick rest hold by Dean. Other than that it was five minutes of nonstop action with an ending that advanced the story and kept Rey looking strong at the same time. Great match here and actually worth checking out for how fast and agile Rey was in his time.

DDP is at the Power Plant and talks about how he hasn’t changed like Hogan and Savage have. Oh and Piper is awesome too. This was just to hype up Savage vs. Page.

Here’s Piper with more to say. The tag title change stands because Larry was officially made a referee last week so the pin counted. HAIL THE STEINERS! This brings out Savage and Bischoff with Eric talking about Savage’s injury. He wants to know if this is how Piper is going to run things and wants Hogan’s title back. Piper says come in and get it (the title is nowhere in sight) but here’s the NWO. Sting comes out as well and holds off the NWO before blasting Piper. At least they didn’t show a closeup of him to show it was clearly a fake. It’s Hogan and Piper gets beaten up.

Video on Hennig vs. Flair.

Scott Norton vs. Ray Traylor

Please be quick. Norton has Vincent and Bagwell with him here because that’s what NWO members do. Traylor starts with uppercuts and hits a quick backdrop but stops to go after Bagwell. Back in and Norton pounds away on Traylor with clubbing forearms to the back. A slam puts Norton down and we cut to the crowd. Kidman, now with eye shadow, sits in the crowd next to Raven and Saturn.

Back to the match and Buff chokes away a bit while Norton argues with the referee. Norton pounds away very, very slowly. Traylor comes back with an uppercut and puts Norton in 619 position for a sliding uppercut. Vincent gets decked too but during the distraction Buff throws Norton the spraypaint can and Traylor is knocked out for the pin.

Rating: F+. After Rey vs. Dean, this was hard to sit through. Then again Norton vs. Traylor would be hard to sit through after watching a dancing bear act. Traylor going to war against the NWO was a nice idea but having him job to Scott Norton doesn’t help anyone. Norton is just a power goon and having him lose would do nothing but help Traylor. But that might mean WCW fans have something else to cheer for and we can’t have that.

TV Title: Disco Inferno vs. Alex Wright

Wright jumps him to start and both guys still have their jackets on. Disco is defending in case you haven’t read anything from around this time. Wright pounds him down against the ropes and hits a good dropkick to send the champion down. Another dropkick puts Disco down and Alex finally takes his own jacket off. Alex whips Inferno with said jacket for good measure but gets punched in the face for his efforts. The offense is short lived though as Wright comes back and stomps away even more. Mostly just kicking and punching so far.

We stop for a quick dance break and Disco gets draped over the apron and pounded even more. Almost all Alex so far. Out on the floor and Wright stomps on his hand for good measure. Wouldn’t the leg be better as it would get rid of the dancing abilities? Back in and Disco tries a fast backslide but gets taken down by a clothesline. A small package gets two more for the champion and here’s Jackie. Disco yells at her and gets rolled up, only to reverse into one of own for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but it’s definitely better than Disco vs. Jackie would wind up being. I’m still not entirely sure what the story is with those two but I’m guessing it’s more of Jackie’s “I’m a woman but I can wrestle men. Yeah I suck but I’M LOUD AND THAT MEANS I AM AN INTERESTING PERSON!” Match was nothing.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig

Page fires off his shoulder blocks into Hennig’s shoulder to send Curt (the champion) out to the floor. Back in and DDP grabs a headlock but Curt runs away from a Diamond Cutter attempt. The champ gets on the apron and Page spits in his face to send him back to the floor. Back in and it’s back to the headlock as Hennig can’t get anything to work early on. Hennig tries to run the ropes but gets caught in a Russian legsweep for two. The champ finally gets something going by getting in a shot to Page’s likely injured ribs.

A dropkick puts Page down and we hit the chinlock. Hennig puts his feet on the ropes like any good heel would do. Page fights up but gets caught in a sleeper, only to come out with a jawbreaker. There’s the Pancake to Hennig but Curt comes back with a jawbreaker of his own. Cue Flair but security holds him back. Page rolls up Hennig for three as Flair runs in. The three count goes down but I’m guessing Flair was late as the referee says no pin. I’m guessing Hennig wins by DQ but the ending was botched.

Rating: C. The match was ok but the ending was a big blow to it. The problem here was that the three count clearly hit before Flair touched either guy so there’s no real reason for a DQ, especially after Hall pulled a referee from the ring earlier and it wasn’t even a DQ. These two should work well together and did most of the time, but it never hit the level that it could have.

Post match Piper makes the referee give Page the belt. Anderson (referee) isn’t sure and here’s Hogan to try to get at Piper. The NWO runs in and it’s 7-2. Even more guys come in and the good guys are in trouble. Savage, with a neck injury, is able to drop the big elbow on Page. There’s a legdrop and another elbow as Page is in trouble. Piper gets an elbow as well but here’s Sting at the top of a row of stands.

But wait here he comes from another side of the arena. No wait he’s over there. Wait he’s in the ring and coming through the crowd. We’re on our fifth Sting but most of them are getting beaten up. Here comes another one through the crowd and a seventh one joins him. The sixth one gets in and is stomped down.

Now they’re coming through the entrance. Now three more come out. I’ve lost count at this point. All of them are getting beaten down….until Bagwell hits one for no effect. The Death Drop lays Bagwell out and the NWO runs. Piper has the world title belt from somewhere and swings it over his head to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This is the third great show in a row with an AWESOME ending segment. How often do you see a show with four title matches in two hours? There are a lot of PPVs that don’t do that and we got it for free here tonight. Sting was coming for Hogan and they might as well have been printing the money in their basement. I would say there was no way to screw this up, but you know the rest I’m sure. Another very good show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Halloween Havoc 1997
Date: October 26, 1997
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 12,457
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

 

This was another request and since I want to get some WCW PPVs done I have no problem knocking this one out. We’re two months out from Starrcade so this show doesn’t mean much. We have something resembling a double main event with Hogan vs. Piper in a cage and DDP vs. Savage in what would be called a last man standing match.  Let’s get to it.

 

After a brief intro that is literally all about Hogan vs. Piper, we’re into the arena for some talking.

 

Tony talks about how a year ago Piper debuted in this arena. Oh and it’s the biggest cage match EVER!!! The announcers talk about the cage match a lot which is of course non-title as Sting vs. Hogan is carved into granite here. If Hogan wins, the NWO may never die. Yes, Piper was pushed that hard.

 

Yuji Nagata vs. Ultimo Dragon

 

The Dragon wanted to get his hands (or is it claws?) into Sonny Onoo, the manager of Nagata. Onoo is the old manager of Dragon and he screwed him over for Nagata. I guess cuddling with the scales didn’t work. This feud went on way too long and no one really wanted to see it but it kept getting pushed anyway. They trade some kicks to start and Nagata takes over.

 

They speed things up and Dragon tries some more kicks which results in him getting suplexed hard. There’s the head stand in the corner but Dragon gets caught in a neck crank. He can’t get anything really going here. Dragon finally breaks the hold and gets kicked for his efforts. Tenay thinks the winner here might be #1 contender for the Cruiserweight Title.

 

Camel clutch by Nagata and Dragon is in trouble again. We hear about Nagata being in MMA which is true. He was 0-2 and his fights lasted less than a combined 90 seconds. To be fair though, his opponents were Cro Cop and Fedor. Wait those fights hadn’t happened yet. Unless they were amateur or at REALLY small promotions, I have no idea what fights Tenay is talking about.

 

Suplex gets two for Nagata as I’m in pain simply thinking about having to fight those two. Dragon gets a Dragon Screw leg Whip out of nowhere and we hit the floor. Dragon tries a dive and jumps into a kick. This has been about 85-90% Nagata. Here comes Raven with the Flock for some reason as Dragon hits the Asai Moonsault. Back in the ring and the handspring elbow by Dragon eats a knee.

 

Sunset bomb off the top gets two for Dragon as he’s slowly getting more moves to hit. Apparently he has a bad elbow. Standing moonsault gets two and Dragon wants the spinning frankensteiner. Nagata reverses and is able to drop the arm across the thing that connects the buckle to the post. He hammers the arm and gets a belly to belly for two.

 

Nagata Lock (a leg lock. What the heck?) goes on for a bit but Dragon grabs a Dragon Sleeper for a few seconds as Nagata escapes. Both guys down now but Dragon pops up to hit his kicking sequence to take over. Spinning frankensteiner hits but the arm is hurt. He goes for the Dragon Sleeper and Nagata reverses into an armbar for the tap out. Quick finish there.

 

Rating: B-. Basic match here and Nagata was dull as always, but this was still good. This feud would go on forever with Nagata never really losing. Dragon never really meant anything after this, although you could say the same thing for the whole company in about six months. Not a bad opener, but Dragon got beaten down too much.

 

Disco Inferno is on WCW.com with Mark Madden. Hey it’s like a WZ Party! He runs his mouth about facing Jacqueline, a woman, tonight. I can’t stand her and this angle was bad.

 

Gedo vs. Chris Jericho

 

This is a bonus match. Gedo has blonde hair and is in a dark yellow cut off shirt and pants. Gedo’s partners may be coming to WCW soon apparently. Apparently Gedo lost in the finals of the Super J Cup. Jericho sends him to the floor and then a long suplex in the ring puts Gedo down. Jericho is a face here.

 

He chops away but gets knocked over the rope once and skins the cat. I still wonder how in the world that name came from. Gedo is apparently a fan of 1970s southern brawling and is like Dusty Rhodes. Oh dear indeed. And this guy almost won the Super J Cup? That could be horrifying. Gedo takes over with a powerslam and a sleeper but Jericho gets a clothesline to make Gedo flip inside out.

 

Double powerbomb by Jericho (I didn’t know he did that in WCW) gets two. They both go to the top but Jericho botches the tar out of it (how often do you hear that line?) and almost lands in a Styles Clash kind of move. That looked painful as all goodness but not quite a FREAKING OW MAN level. Pescado by Jericho eats boots and they head back in. Gedo gets a shot at the knee and goes up, only to jump into the Liontamer to end this.

 

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here but not quite as good as the first one. The styles kind of clashed here (haha that was funny) but the result was still solid. Jericho botching is always interesting to see due to the rarity of it. Decent match as yet again we see the WCW formula of good matches from young guys and the bad matches from the old guys to end it.

 

Mongo and Debra argue about divorce things.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio

 

This is mask vs. title with Eddie as champion of course. Great heat on Eddie to start as he’s totally evil here. Rey gets an arm drag and a cross body to send him to the floor almost immediately. Rey flips to the apron but gets caught by Eddie and tripped, sending him to the floor. Eddie rams Rey into the steps and adds a hilo to the back in the ring. Rey fires off a dropkick but tries a cartwheel which gets caught in a belly to back as Eddie continues his dominance.

 

Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Eddie gets two. Eddie goes after the mask but this is part of a bodysuit kind of a thing. Abdominal stretch by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Tenay says that Rey used to wrestle as Hummingbird which Heenan of course rips into. Rey is on his back in a test of strength position so he uses Eddie as a board to pop up with and jumps to the top rope, backflips over and grabs a DDT out of nowhere to break Eddie’s momentum. AWESOME move.

 

Rey sends Eddie to the apron and tries a dropkick but Eddie moves and sends Rey to the floor. After sending him into the railing it’s a camel clutch with Eddie ripping at the mask again. Off to the Gory Special and Rey is in trouble. Modified surfboard as Eddie is in total control here. We hear about El Santo which is someone you hardly ever hear about at all.

 

Rey tries to fire some shots off in the corner but gets sent into the opposite corner and caught in the Tree of Woe. Baseball slide by Eddie misses and he does the Hennig crotch spot against the post. Rey dives off the top onto Eddie on the floor and here comes Rey. Standing rana gets two back in the ring. A headscissors puts Eddie on the floor and in perhaps the most awesome spot I’ve ever seen, Rey gets a running start and dives over the ropes, catches Eddie in a rana and swings him around without touching the floor until he releases the hold.

 

Back in and a corkscrew moonsault gets two. Split legged moonsault misses and it’s a big powerbomb by Eddie and Rey is in trouble. Crowd is getting into this quickly. Big heat on Eddie now. Rey takes him down with a spinwheel kick but the West Coast Pop is reversed into a backbreaker. Frog Splash misses so Rey goes up top. Eddie tries a crucifix bomb off the top but Rey reverses into a rana out of air and holds Eddie down to get the pin and the title! AWESOME ending!

 

Rating: A+. This was in the running for match of the year and it’s easy to see why. The problem is when you have Austin vs. Hart in the I Quit match and the original Hell in a Cell in the same year. That kind of slows things down a bit which is a shame as this was a great match indeed. Rey was awesome at this point and moved around here so well that it was almost uncanny. Great match and Eddie played an awesome cocky heel here. Great match and the best I’ve ever seen out of Eddie I think.

 

Bischoff and Hogan babble about wanting Sting guaranteed to be out of the arena before he’ll fight tonight. Ok then. This took four minutes somehow with them talking about wanting a contract or something so he can get the physical belt back.

 

Debra has a surprise opponent for Mongo.

 

Alex Wright vs. Steve McMichael

 

This is more of Debra vs. Mongo with her managing Wright here. And it’s time to talk about Hogan not being in the main event now. Mongo works on the wrist but Wright bounces out of it. A minute into the match the announcers say the names of the wrestlers for one time each. I think Wright is a heel here but it’s really kind of hard to tell. Not like the announcers are helping us any as we need to talk about Hogan being a coward.

 

Yep Wright is a heel here as we discuss the NWO having power now and how they have the fans over a barrel. Wright works on the arm but I’m not sure why. It’s not like they’re being recognized for it. Tony is calling them con men or whatever. Mongo takes over again as now we’re going to talk about Sting to avoid talking about the match. They collide in the ring and neither guy goes anywhere.

 

They talk about the match for 34 seconds and just flat drop it to talk about Hogan more. After a bit more talking it’s a tombstone, Mongo’s finisher, to Wright. Goldberg comes in while Debra has the referee, and spears Mongo. This would be a bit more effective if the referee hadn’t looked over his shoulder to make sure the spear hadn’t happened yet. The Jackhammer hits (how does the referee not notice a third person in there) and he throws Wright on top for the pin.

 

Rating: C. I’m giving them some credit here because they got such little love from the announcers. In a six and a half minute match the match was talked about for all of a minute. That’s pathetic and they did it on TV also. I can kind of understand it there but here? Why? Are they trying to sell it or something? We already have the PPV man. What’s the point?

 

Debra gives Goldberg the Super Bowl ring which is now apparently Goldberg’s. He lays out Wright and he’s the real man for Debra.

 

Savage and Liz (looking sexy in an NWO t-shirt) say various things about beating up DDP.

 

Disco Inferno vs. Jacqueline

 

This was supposed to be for Disco’s TV Title but the wrestling commission wouldn’t let us have a title match where the area between their legs wasn’t matched. Tony tries to tell us that WCW should ban Hogan from coming back to PPV if he bails tonight and talks about court cases or something. It’s so hilarious to hear someone on Halloween Havoc talking about not giving the fans an advertised main event.

 

Disco runs of course as he’s both afraid of her and is afraid of trying to touch her. We’re at stall #3 by Disco so far so we talk about WCW having momentum or something. WCW never got that no one cared about WCW or momentum or a war or whatever as it went on FOREVER. Disco has hit the floor five times in three minutes now and there has been zero contact whatsoever.

 

To the ropes again as this is just idiotic. The fans boo loudly and I can’t say I blame them. We talk about how Hogan ran too. OH COME ON as he’s hit the floor eight times now and she finally chases him. A sunset flip gets two as we’re firmly in the “let’s praise Jackie for doing basic moves on a man because she’s female” territory. Drop toehold takes her down and Disco hits the floor again.

 

We play keepaway on the floor for awhile and Disco hits the floor for an 11^th time. WHO BOOKED THIS CRAP??? Jackie finally catches him and hammers away….kind of. Disco tries to leave and that gets him nowhere. Hip toss doesn’t work and he sends her to the floor. The problem here is simple: Jackie is just a brawler that talks tough.

 

That doesn’t make this impressive. It makes it long and like they’re trying to say “look at us! We’re awesome because this chick is awesome!” See, when Chyna did it, it was realistic because she could hang with them and you kind of forgot she was a woman. Jackie is a chick that is doing moves to men. Cross body is rolled through by Disco for two and Jackie rolls up the TV Champion and pins him clean. No one cares about Jackie still.

 

Rating: F. Oh do I even have to explain this one? Jackie isn’t impressive, no one cares about her and she was supposed to be Chyna or something like that. Boring match that might have had 1 minute of “action” out of nine. This was just terrible and they had to know it was.

 

US Title: Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig

 

Hennig stole Flair’s robe and turned on Flair and the Horsemen at Fall Brawl. Hennig, the champion, comes out with the Cruiserweight belt instead of the US belt. Flair sprints to the ring and beats the tar out of Hennig to start. Time to talk about Hogan some more as we finally get the robe off Hennig and onto Flair (minus the sleeves). Hennig gets his first offense in, a clothesline, at about two and a half minutes.

 

Tony manages to say by golly as he rants and raves about WCW and pride and all kinds of nonsense like that. Hennig goes after the knee and the announcers rant about Hogan even more. Just say he’ll be here and get it over with. Hennig works over the leg a lot as the momentum this match had has just died completely. Elbow gets two as Hennig goes after the head, which is what was injured in the War Games match where Hennig turned.

 

All Hennig and his orange crotch of tightness here as he hammers away at Flair’s head. He hammers away and we talk about what WCW might offer Hogan and Bischoff. Sleeper goes on which is very appropriate here. A chair is grabbed and Hennig tries the weakest chair shot ever as Flair’s head is up against the post. Flair chops away and hammers Curt down. Slingshot sends Hennig into the post which happens a lot to him. Still on the floor mind you as we have been this entire paragraph.

 

Back into the ring now as Hennig wants to leave. Flair chases him down and they head back to the ring where Hennig beats him down again. The belt is in the ring from where Hennig tried to leave. Hennig sets for the Perfectplex onto the belt but of course the idiots that are the WCW announcers don’t get what he’s going for because it’s not like THAT IS HIS SIGNATURE MOVE AND HE HAD THE LEG HOOKED ALREADY!!! Flair suplexes him onto the belt and then puts Hennig in the Tree of Woe, puts the belt on Curt’s face and stomps it for the CHEAP DQ!!!

 

Rating: C+. Decent match but the talking and the ending completely crippled it. Flair and Hennig can have a good match in their sleep and this was ok, but the lack of offense from Flair in the middle hurt it as he more or less lost his momentum after a single punch. Still though, not bad at all and awesome due to sheer talent.

 

Flair keeps up the beatdown but the NWO ran out for the save.

 

Savage says he’s awesome on the internet.

 

JJ Dillon, back from an injury angle, says the match is going to happen. Ok, NOW FREAKING DROP IT ALREADY!!! Bischoff of course comes out to complain and say Dillon has no authority or something like that. Dillon has a contract that has been notarized or something. That’s what he uses in a wrestling show. Dude, wrestling fans don’t care about contracts. Let it die. Bischoff says if Sting is here, they want Nitro. Whatever!

 

Lex Luger vs. Scott Hall

 

Larry Zbyszko is referee for no apparent reason. The announcers get the contract from the previous segment because you pass it around like something brought in for show and tell. Zbyszko wants to fight Hall over some AWA thing and he wouldn’t get to until January. We talk about Hogan and Bischoff EVEN MORE because we haven’t hammered that out yet I guess.

 

Larry takes a toothpick to the face and here comes Lex. Larry pulls Hall off of him as we hear about the one feud of Larry’s that anyone cares about, that one being against Sammartino. Larry calls it down the middle here as Hall throws on a headlock. Luger works on the arm as we’re having a very basic match to start us off here. Syxx is at ringside here.

 

Hall puts on a hold where he grabs Luger’s wrists and bends his arms back. Luger reverses it so that he’s behind it. Hall is still holding the wrists even though he’s in pain here. I give up. He uses the ropes to escape. Really? I mean dude, REALLY? And this guy was in THE LADDER MATCH people! Clothesline puts Luger down and Hall takes over again. Zbyszko counts slow.

 

Off to a sleeper by Hall as this match is putting me to sleep. That goes on for awhile until a suplex gets Luger out of it. Larry, ever the impartial referee, backdrops Hall to the floor. Here’s Bischoff who gets drilled also. Luger starts his comeback and hits three atomic drops and the forearm. Bischoff distracts Larry and Syxx kicks Luger down. Outsider Edge hits and there’s the pin. Wow I’m kind of surprised.

 

Rating: D. The referee thing got old quick as Larry didn’t need to be there in the slightest and they never told us why Larry and Hall didn’t like each other. I knew because of prior knowledge, but this is a bad thing that only WWF ever seemed to get right: let us know in case there are first time viewers. That might make them want to see more instead of “oh they’re feuding and don’t worry why.” Never got that.

 

Larry sees the replay and we restart the match. Rack goes on and the bell rings just as Syxx kicks him for the potential DQ. This extra time might have been 12 seconds long and I’m not sure if Luger won by submission or DQ. Does it matter? Rating is the same as above. Bischoff beats up Zbyszko as his ego continues to dominate the show. I mean dude, why in the world was Bischoff in a competitive match at Starrcade? The point of a match like that is for him to be destroyed, but they let Bischoff fight and win a screwy match. That’s WCW for you though. And you wonder why they went out of business.

 

Oh and Larry choked Syxx with a submission hold. That was a reason to get him out of the ring as he had a bad neck. He would be gone just after the beginning of the year and I don’t’ think he wrestled again for WCW.

 

Randy Savage vs. Diamond Dallas Page

 

This is billed as a Las Vegas Death Match which means Last Man Standing. These two feuded all year and it was AWESOME. By the way, Liz in a short leather skirt, tied off NWO t-shirt and three inch heel thigh high boots: WIN. Page has taped ribs which were injured for about 3 years I think. Savage attacks the ribs which Dusty says you can’t hide. Well gee Dusty how did you figure out he had bad ribs when they’re taped?

 

We head into the ring after starting on the floor and Savage hammers away. Page does that pull up out of the corner to break the count and beats the tar out of Savage. Both guys are down quickly off a double clothesline which Dusty explains the name of. Diamond Cutter attempt goes nowhere as Tony and Dusty argue over whether or not that move would be effective here. How are these people so freaking stupid?

 

Page goes lucha and dives over the top to take down Savage. Back into the ring but Page gets caught coming in and tumbles back out. Savage gets his patented (and he has the paperwork) axe off the top to the back of Page, sending him into the barrier. We head into the crowd where Raven’s Flock is sitting. They slug it out in the crowd and brawl out of the crowd up by the entrance way.

 

Savage sends him into the safety rail which makes sense as it hurts the ribs. Page throws him into the set which is made of fake tombstones and slams him onto a “stone” which explodes. Dusty of course freaks out over everything. Back towards the ring and Page goes rib first into the railing again but he might have blocked part of it. The shot into the steps doesn’t get blocked though and Page is in trouble.

 

Another shot with the steps gets about five and we’re back in the ring now. Savage steals a camera but Page gets his feet up to kick it back into Savage’s face. Nice counter there. Both guys are down and Liz pops up on the apron with a tray of some kind which is shattered over the referee’s head. She chokes Page but Kimberly comes out for the save. Yep Liz is far hotter.

 

Nick Patrick comes out to referee it and Page hammers away. Atomic drop and the Pancake (Styles Clash without the arms being hooked) sets up an attempt at a Diamond Cutter which misses. That gets a count of about five so Savage slams him and drops the elbow right into the ribs. Somehow that only gets 9 and there goes the referee right before a Diamond Cutter. Well of course he goes down at that exact moment.

 

Patrick gets up but both guys are down since Page never got up after dropping Savage with the Cutter. Both guys are rolling around at five and are both up at eight. Another Diamond Cutter attempt is countered by a low blow and Page hits the floor. And here’s Sting who hits Page in the ribs with the bat. Even Tony knows it’s not Sting so you can tell the joke was dead here. Somehow he couldn’t tell it was Nash as Sting the next month though. Page can’t get up as Savage makes it and this war is over.

 

Rating: A-. The ending is what holds this back but this was a war. Both of these guys liked to map out their entire matches so this was more like a recital than a match but that’s fine. Savage vs. Steamboat was like that. Very good match here as they beat the tar out of each other and it’s only the stupid ending that keeps it from being a classic. Still worth a watch though.

 

Bogus Sting was Hogan if you’re curious.

 

Savage jumps DDP while he’s attached to a stretcher.

 

The announcers talk about the match some more. Why are you surprised here?

 

Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper

 

Piper has the belt here but isn’t champion. This is non-title and in a cage because this match is supposed to draw money in 1997. This is more like the Cell with no top and with big spaces in the walls shaped like squares. Think the blue cage but with squares big enough to pass a crack baby through. No word on what you do to win this but it’s implied Piper can win with the sleeper. Granted they don’t say get the sleeper and walk out or win with a submission out of it but whatever.

 

Hogan tries to climb out but Piper whips him with a belt. Now Piper bites Hogan’s tights. Dude, are there some surpressed feelings there? I’ve seen a lot now. We head into the ring for a change and it’s and atomic drop and a head slap. No referee here either. The cage here is more for keeping people out than a weapon which is fine I guess. Back to the floor again and Hogan tries to climb but is caught with a low blow.

 

They slam each other into the cage and Hogan wants the door open. Ok, Piper shoves Hogan out, meaning Hogan was out FIRST, but they went out at the same time so this continues. I guess that means you can win by escape but they just want it to keep going. Hogan tries to leave but Sting, and I’m assuming the real one, is pointing a bat at him. Piper catches up to him and slams the door on his back/shoulder.

 

Hogan gets Piper in and then falls out of the ring. He wants to get out now so I’m assuming it’s escape. Seriously, it’s that confusing. How freaking hard is a cage match anyway? Hogan rams him into the cage a few times as I keep tellimg myself this is almost over. Hogan climbs but Piper follows him. There’s a pair of Stings in the aisle as now Piper is near the top of the cage.

 

Hogan kicks Piper down off the cage (Piper kind of climbed down) and then Hogan climbs down as well. Weightlifting belt to the back and Hogan goes up instead of going through the door like an intelligent heel would. That cage is shaking too which is a bit scary. There’s a Sting waiting on Hogan at the bottom so Piper pulls him back in. Here’s a third Sting, this one kind of chunky.

 

Actually we have four of them now and now it’s five. Hogan climbs down so Piper tries to get out like an intelligent person but Hogan stops that also. Back into the ring now for some reason and Hogan pops him with the world title. There’s the leg drop onto Piper onto the belt which gets two as the referee has to come in.

 

Savage comes out and climbs to the top of the cage and jumps into the middle of the ring. Now to be fair he missed Hogan by about two feet but he caught him on the top of the head at least. Not criticizing him there mind you but pointing it out. I’d be scared to death from jumping that. Sleeper ends Hogan just after that.

 

Rating: D-. This match made no sense at all. You go from the lack of knowing how to win the match to kind of knowing how to win the match to no one wanting to escape the cage it seemed to the Sting army who did a total of one thing (keep Hogan from leaving) to Savage coming in at the end to the biggest problem: they really didn’t do anything.

 

This was about 14 minutes long and the vast majority was laying around, climbing the cage and punching. There was no drama, no extended advantages, very little violence and it really seemed liked there was no real reason for this to be in a cage. Bad match indeed for a lot of reasons.

 

Post match Bischoff comes out and he, Hogan and Savage beat up Piper. One of the Stings gets in and gets taken down with ease. They handcuff Piper to the cage and the beating is on. Hogan puts the Sting mask on for no apparent reason. A kid climbs over the cage and the fake Sting takes him down with ease and then Hogan and Savage beat the heck out of him in the ring for no apparent reason. This is either REALLY stupid or a totally pointless work. Security comes in and takes FOREVER to get him out. And that’s the show. Seriously, this ends with the fan being taken out.

 

Oddly enough the music for the credits is what would become Marc Mero’s theme music in WWF. No idea why but it is.

 

Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to grade. However other than the main event and the man vs. woman, nothing is really that bad. Hall vs. Luger is dull but not particularly horrible. Then you have two awesome matches including an all time classic which is more than enough to keep this from a terrible grade.

 

The constant talking of Hogan possibly not wrestling is REALLY annoying and I’d recommend fast forwarding about 45 minutes after that Hogan/Bischoff promo. It’s certainly not the worst WCW show ever but the bad stuff is rather bad. See those two matches and if you’re incredibly bored the whole show minus the main event and man vs. woman. Not too bad but still not great.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

He’s a heel apparently and wants to be in the Chamber.  I can’t say I’m complaining and it’s yet another guy in the Smackdown title picture.  I’m a happy KB over this.

Royal Rumble 2008
Date: January 27, 2008
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 20,798
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole Jonathan Coachman, Joey Styles, Tazz

We’re in New York City again and there are three main events tonight. We have the usual Rumble and Edge defending the Smackdown Title against Mysterio, but the interesting one here was Orton defending against Jeff Hardy. I don’t know how they did it, but the company did an OUTSTANDING job of making Hardy seem like he had a very real chance of taking the title tonight and shocking the world. I had no idea who was going to win and I LOVED that feeling. Let’s get to it.

The opening video focuses more on the show being in MSG than anything else.

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Flair’s career is on the line but MVP’s US Title isn’t. Flair talks about having his first match here in 1976 but MVP’s music cuts him off. MVP takes him into the corner to start and he’s BALLIN already. Flair goes after the arm for a second before chopping away at the jumpsuit. MVP comes back with a running boot to the head for two before hooking a chinlock. The fans tell MVP that he sucks as he cranks on the chin.

Flair fights up and picks the leg, only to get small packaged for two. A backdrop puts Flair down and there’s a running boot to the face in the corner for three, but Flair has his foot on the rope. You know MSG isn’t buying that one. Flair tries to steal the pin but gets clotheslined down for his efforts instead. A superplex gets two for MVP and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Flair starts trying for some fast pins before slugging away. MVP punches him down and hits a facebuster, but the Playmaker is countered into a quick Figure Four to end this.

Rating: C. This was about what you would expect. At the end of the day, everyone knew Flair wasn’t going to lose this but it was a way to give him one last moment in MSG before retiring in April. I’m not wild on him beating the US Champion clean but the title hasn’t meant anything in years anyway so what difference does it make?

Vince talks to Horny about the Rumble. This is during the “Vince is Hornswoggle’s dad” phase. Vince tells him to not trust Finlay but he has to win. Finlay comes in and takes some offense to Vince telling them not to trust each other.

Mike Adamle is introduced as the newest broadcaster. Oh dear. For those of you that don’t remember him, imagine Cole but with something resembling charm.

We recap Jericho vs. JBL. JBL cost Jericho the title at Armageddon and tonight is the blowoff. JBL brought Jericho’s children into this too, saying Jericho would have to admit to them that he’s a coward. Jericho would use this same line against Shawn soon after this.

Chris Jericho vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Feeling out process to start with JBL hiding in the corner and ropes a few times. Jericho forearms him down and pounds away but gets sent to the floor. That doesn’t last long as he slides right back in and hooks the Walls but JBL immediately grabs the rope. A baseball slide keeps Jibbles on the floor where he is sent into the steps. Back in and Jericho charges into a hot shot to put both guys down.

A clothesline (not the one from down under) puts Jericho down as apparently he has a bad throat and neck coming into this. Bradshaw slingshots Jericho throat first into the middle rope and hooks a quick sleeper. Jericho fights out of it and hits a clothesline of his own, only to charge into a big boot. John sends him shoulder first into the post which busts his head open somehow. Back in and JBL pounds away at the cut as a villain would do. Jericho comes back but they botch a clothesline, causing both guys to get booed loudly. A Cactus Clothesline sends them to the floor where Jericho cracks JBL with a chair for the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work at all for the most part. Jericho didn’t work at all as a face with the short hair during this comeback and I think everyone knew it. Thankfully he would turn heel over the summer and have the feud of the year with Shawn. The ending to this sucked and I don’t think they had any other matches after this.

Jericho destroys JBL post match and chokes him with a cord, which is what JBL did to him. That gets Jericho cheered at least.

Santino tells Ashley that Maria won’t do Playboy. Thank goodness he was wrong.

We recap Edge vs. Mysterio. Edge is with Vickie now who just happens to be the corrupt GM. Mysterio won a Beat the Clock challenge by beating Edge himself to earn the shot. Edge is annoyed that Rey is claiming that Edge is just using Vickie, which of course he is.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Edge is defending if that’s not clear. Vickie, Hawkins and Ryder are at ringside as well. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. The fans LOUDLY boo Rey and cheer for Edge as Rey kind of messes up a rana. Edge runs him over but Rey speeds things up, causing Edge to panic a bit. Rey gets sent to the floor where Hawkins and Ryder go after him, only to stop when they’re nearly caught. The referee ejects them anyway.

Back in and Rey almost hooks the 619, only to have the champion bail to the floor. Rey is perfectly cool with diving to the floor to take out Edge, drawing boos in a bizarre sequence. Back in and a seated senton gets two for Rey but Edge takes his knee out to take over. Edge pounds away and hooks a half crab for a little while. Rey comes back with kicks to the face to escape and you would think he was choking a kitten from the crowd’s reaction.

Rey loads up the 619 but charges into a powerslam for two. Off to a kind of ankle lock hold but bending the knee instead of the ankle. Edge tries to take the knee brace off of Rey but gets caught in the sitout bulldog to put both guys down. Mysterio uses his good leg to kick Edge in the face for two before hitting another kind of seated senton for two. Like an idiot, Rey goes up and hits a double stomp for two. Smart move on a bad knee Rey. Edge is sent to the floor where Rey slide through the ropes into a tornado DDT for two back inside.

Back in and Edge kicks Rey right in the face to put him down again. Why over complicate things? The spear misses so Rey hits the 619 and the top rope splash, but Vickie pops out of her wheelchair to break up the count. Edge misses another spear and puts himself in 619 position, but Vickie jumps onto the apron to take the hit, allowing Edge to hit the spear for the retaining pin.

Rating: C+. This was ok but you kind of expect more from Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. The ending was about Vickie, which would become a running theme over the next few months. Edge being all conniving and backstabbing the already evil Vickie was awesome stuff, but getting there was tedious at times. Still not a bad match at all though.

Mr. Kennedy is waiting for Flair when he gets out of the shower in a towel. Shawn comes in before anything happens and shakes hands with Flair. Shawn: “Imagine, a loud mouthed platinum blonde with a catchphrase. That gimmick will never work.” Batista comes in (pop), as does HHH (lesser pop). HHH: “I’ve said this a lot of times before Ric, but put your pants on.” It turns into a merchandise plug in a cute bit.

Maria comes out to do the Royal Rumble Kiss Cam. This eats up some time until Ashley comes out to ask Maria to be in Playboy again. Santino comes out to insult the fans (and the Giants), saying the people would cheer if you asked if they wanted hepatitis. He brings out Big Dick Johnson with a rubber chicken and wearing a half Patriots jersey. You can figure this one out for yourself.

WrestleMania ad featuring Mae Young as a lifeguard. Ok then.

Mike Adamle introduces us to the next match, featuring Randy Orton vs. Jeff Harvey.

We recap Hardy vs. Orton, which is based on three simple words: Hardy could win. Apparently this match drew HUGE numbers for the Rumble, which showed why they held out on Hardy winning the belt for nearly a year. Hardy hit a HUGE Swanton off the set on Raw, which made you wonder how far he would go to win here. The video is a mini-history of Orton’s career to this point, which isn’t really a good idea for a heel. This is followed by a music video about Jeff Hardy set to the song Rooftops by the Lost Prophets, which really fits him well. I remember being very excited for the match and this video was a big reason.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is Intercontinental Champion. Feeling out process to start with Jeff taking over via a headlock on the mat. An atomic drop gets two but Orton hits him in the face and brags to the crowd about it. Orton gets sent to the floor and a baseball slide sends him into the barricade. Hardy follows with a plancha to the floor as JR SCREAMS to get Orton back in the ring. Randy tries to walk out with the belt but Hardy will have none of that. Orton is rammed into the announce table and back inside we go.

As Hardy tries a springboard, Orton dropkicks him right back to the floor in a big crash. There’s the Orton Stomp and some choking as Orton shows off his wide range of offense. This is before Orton was orange so the visuals aren’t all that bad. A pair of knee drops get two on Hardy as Orton asks the fans if they believe in Jeff still. Hardy sends Orton over the top to the floor, followed by a bad clothesline off the apron (it hit Orton’s arm and completely missed his neck and chest).

Back in again and Jeff misses a charge into the post, giving Orton both a two count and control again. Randy hooks a chinlock with a bodyscissors followed by a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock (yep it’s an Orton match) to fill in some time. Jeff fights up again and takes Randy down with a clothesline but can’t follow up. Jeff starts striking with everything he’s got and hits the Whisper in the Wind to fire up the crowd even more.

That’s one thing I haven’t talked about enough here: the fans are WAY behind Hardy here. It isn’t the usual New York reaction to a face. They want Jeff to win the title NOW. Hardy hits the slingshot dropkick in the corner but before he can hit the Swanton, Randy bails to the floor. Jeff is cool with that and hits (kind of at least) a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Jeff loads up the Twist but Orton counters into the RKO out of nowhere to retain.

Rating: C+. That’s a really bad finish for a few reasons. First of all, it’s WAY too sudden. If they were shooting at punching the audience in the stomach I guess they accomplished that, but it doesn’t do much else. Hardy winning was an option, but at the end of the day they made the right move here….I think. I was disappointed Hardy won, but thankfully WWE stretched it out for a LONG time before he got the title, which was the right move at the end of the day.

Hardy gets a well deserved standing ovation. His time would come.

We get the Rumble by the Numbers video, which is always a favorite of mine. Here are those numbers:

20 years of history

21 winners

569 superstars in the Rumble

36 eliminations (by Austin, since broken by Shawn)

11 Rumbles for Shawn (since broken by Kane)

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

3 identities under which Foley entered the Rumble in 1997

2 feet that must touch the ground

1 woman in the Rumble (Chyna, since joined by Beth Phoenix and Kharma)

62:12 of time that Mysterio was in the Rumble

2 seconds that Warlord lasted in the Rumble (since broken by Santino)

3 wins for Austin, still a record

1 is the spot that has the same amount of wins as #30 (Shawn and Undertaker)

4 men that have won the Rumble from the 27 spot, the most ever

73 percent of the Rumble winners have won the title at Wrestlemania

I love that.

Royal Rumble

As introduced by Michael Buffer (only the Fink gets all caps in the Garden), #1 is Undertaker, #2 is Shawn Michaels,. Now how’s THAT for an opening pair? Isn’t it amazing how a RANDOM pairing finishes the match the previous year and opens it this year? 90 second intervals here which seems to be the right amount of time most of the years. Taker powers Shawn around to start and elbows him in the corner.

Shawn gets crotched on the ropes but Taker GOES AIRBORNE with a running boot that misses in the corner. Shawn charges into the grip of Taker as he gets back in but there’s no chokeslam. Taker kicks him in the face instead as Santino is #3. Twenty five seconds later Shawn superkicks him and Taker gets the elimination. Shawn tries to dump him but Taker hangs on and works on the arm.

Old School is countered and Shawn hits an atomic drop as Great Khali is #4. Taker jumps him as he comes in as Shawn is down from something we missed. The big chop puts Taker down as the fans tell Khali he can’t wrestle. They grab each other by the throat but Khali misses a chop and gets eliminated. Shawn never touched Khali but charges at Taker when it’s just the two of them.

Hardcore Holly is #5 and is a tag champion here. Taker slugs Holly down but Shawn tries to dump the big man again. John Morrison, also a tag champion but with Miz instead of Cody Rhodes like Holly, is #6. Morrison looks at Taker and immediately goes after Holly instead. Shawn dumps him to the apron but John gets back in. That winds up being bad for him as he get slammed down by Shawn followed by the top rope elbow.

Shawn tunes up the band but Morrison blocks the kick. Tommy Dreamer is #7 to a big pop and a LOUD Tommy Dreamer chant. #8 is Batista as we get another good blast of energy. Big Dave and Taker knock everyone down (no eliminations) and they stare each other down, only for Dreamer to charge at Batista, earning himself an elimination. Shawn goes after Batista now but Dave spears Morrison down instead.

Hornswoggle is #9 and immediately dives under the ring without ever getting in. Batista and Taker hammer on each other in the corner as Holly clotheslines Shawn to the apron. Chuck Palumbo, a lame biker at this point, is #10. Taker flips Morrison to the apron but he hangs on again. Shawn and Morrison fight on the top rope as Jamie Noble, Palumbo’s enemy at this point, is #11. Noble has taped up ribs so his offense can’t last long. Palumbo dumps him after less than a minute.

At the moment we have Taker, Shawn, Holly, Batista, Palumbo and Morrison in the ring with Horny underneath. #12 is CM Punk as Morrison makes ANOTHER impressive save. Punk is insanely popular in New York of course and fires off running knees in the corner to everyone he sees, only to charge into a clothesline from Undertaker. Morrison, the guy that took the ECW Title from Punk, pounds away on him. Punk takes Palumbo out but gets jumped from behind by Shawn.

Cody Rhodes is #13 before he means anything at all. Yes he’s a tag champion, and yes I stand by what I just said. Cody goes after Punk before shifting over to Taker like an idiot. Umaga is #14 to a decent pop. He spikes Holly out and gets to try on Batista for a bit now. Shawn gets backdropped to the apron but hangs on of course. Snitsky is #15 and badly pounds on everyone at once.

Rhodes jumps on Snitsky’s back and they both head to the apron but no further than that. Taker gets headbutted by Umaga as the ring is starting to get too full. Miz is #16 with those stupid shorts of his. He goes after Punk as Taker tries to put Umaga out. Shelton with his even stupider gold hair of his knocks both Miz and Morrison off the top and onto the ropes but not out, before walking into a superkick from Shawn for the elimination in less than 20 seconds.

Jimmy Snuka of all people is #18 to a HUGE pop. He goes after Morrison as the fans do Snuka’s barking kind of chant. Taker gets a headbutt which staggers the dead man before Snuka goes after Miz. At #19 here’s Roddy Piper to an even BIGGER pop. He takes his shirt off and causes about half the audience to faint before having a showdown with Snuka, which the rest of the match (remember this includes Umaga, Taker and Shawn) stops to watch. Piper pokes Jimmy in the eyes and the match finally picks up a bit.

Kane is in at #20 to hopefully clean out the ring a bit. Yep he knocks out Piper and Snuka before chokeslamming Miz. Taker loads up a chokeslam on Kane but before he grabs the throat, he spins around and grabs Michaels instead. Carlito is in at #21 and spits the apple at Rhodes. Punk and Morrison pick up Carlito but he kicks off the ropes and sends them both into them. Punk kicks Morrison in the head but gets caught by a Backstabber. Cool little sequence there.

Mick Foley is #22 and you know the fans freak out for him. A double arm DDT takes Kane down as Umaga hits a Samoan Drop on Taker. The ring is WAY too full now with Taker, Michaels, Morrison, Batista, Punk, Rhodes, Umaga, Snitsky, Miz, Kane, Carlito, Foley and Horny under the ring. Morrison hits a springboard kick to take Foley down and Kennedy is #23. I’ll say this: the ring has some star power in it.

There’s a Mic Check to Miz and a kick to Taker after he sits up from something. A chokeslam puts Kennedy down and Taker starts beating up everyone. Here’s Big Daddy V at #24. Taker shoves Snitsky out, Shawn superkicks Taker out and Kennedy throws Shawn out. The only question I have from that: why is Taker on his feet after being superkicked? Taker drops a leg on the announce table on Snitsky because he’s a big jerk at times.

Kennedy and Rhodes fight to the apron as Henry is #25. Horny comes out from under the ring and pulls Miz out from the ring for an elimination. Horny goes back under the ring as V is trying to put out Morrison and Kennedy. Chavo is #26 and freshly ECW Champion, thereby making it clear that the ECW Title isn’t a world title. Kane sends Morrison to the apron and then to the floor with a big boot.

Horny comes in again as V and Henry double team him. Finlay runs out ahead of the gun (presumably at #27) and blasts both guys with the club. He and Horny leave through the ropes and don’t return, with the official statement being that Horny was eliminated for leaving and Finlay was disqualified. In the Rumble. Yeah this story was just badly done overall. Elijah Burke (D’Angelo Dinero) is #28.

Chavo dumps Punk after taking his title on Tuesday. That’s just overkill man. Umaga spikes Batista under the ropes and out to the floor. HHH is #29 which leaves a hole at #30. Basically every major star has entered and the announcers aren’t sure who is possibly left. Rhodes, V, Foley and Burke all go out at HHH’s hands before he pounds on Umaga. The countdown begins for #30.

The roof is blown off the Garden, because JOHN CENA is #30. This is shocking as Cena had torn his pec and had announced that he would be gone until Wrestlemania at the earliest. Imagine that: lying about an injury and getting a big response from the crowd. Who would have ever thought of that, and in wrestling of all things? Carlito, Chavo and Henry are all gone in about fifteen seconds before it’s HHH staring Cena down.

We’ve got Cena, HHH, Batista, Kane, Umaga and Kennedy to go. HHH takes Cena down with a spinebuster but walks into a superkick from Umaga. Batista takes Umaga down with the spinebuster and dumps Kennedy to get us down to five. There goes Umaga and we’re down to four. HHH and Batista dump Kane and we’ve got three left. Batista gives the double thumbs down, Cena says you can’t see me and HHH says suck it. Them are fighting catchphrases and it’s on.

Trips and Cena go after Big Dave but he clotheslines them both down. The spinebuster plants Cena and another one takes HHH down. The fans don’t seem thrilled with Batista so they cheer when Cena backdrops him down. HHH clotheslines Batista out and we’re down to HHH vs. Cena.

Since this is New York, the fans hate Cena by default and it’s boo/yay time. Triple H pounds away but walks into the Protobomb and the Shuffle. The finishers are both countered and they clothesline each other down. Cena can’t FU HHH out and gets caught in a DDT. The finishers are countered again until Cena hits the FU on HHH for the elimination and the win.

Rating: C+. It took awhile to get through the bad parts but once Cena’s music hit the place was electric. The fans booing Cena doesn’t surprise me at all because that’s how New York works. Cena would wind up facing Orton at No Way Out for some reason, resulting in a three way at Mania with HHH involved as well.

Cena celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well it definitely wasn’t terrible but at the end of the day, nothing is really all that good here at all. The best match is probably Hardy vs. Orton and that’s just ok. On the other hand though, nothing is really bad here and you likely won’t be bored with the show. It’s one of those shows where you watch it and other than Cena’s return, you probably won’t remember watching it two days later.

Ratings Comparison

Ric Flair vs. MVP

Original: B-

Redo: C

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Chris Jericho

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Edge vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: C+

Jeff Hardy vs. Randy Orton

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C-

Wow the Smackdown title match really changed things around here.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/27/royal-rumble-count-up-2008-screw-wwes-list-this-is-the-1-rumble-moment/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

No Way Out 2006
Date: February 19, 2006
Location: 1st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a show that is talked about a lot for one specific match but it’s really a two match show. The main event here is Angle vs. Taker for the title in what is one of the first real influences of MMA on this as more or less this is a striking vs. submission match and is considered an excellent match by almost everyone I’ve heard talk about it. I’ve never seen it all the way through though.

The other match here is Orton vs. Rey as Eddie’s push continues despite being, you know, dead. Eddie won the Royal Rumble so tonight we have Rey vs. Orton for Eddie’s Mania match. Orton had gone insane with his heel level, saying Eddie was burning. This is the match for Eddie’s Mania match. Other than that the show looks bad. Let’s get to it.

And since I can’t make a joke on here without some moron calling me out on this, yes, I know Rey won the Rumble and eventually the title at Mania. I say it was Eddie doing it because the vast majority of his angle and push was there because of Eddie and his death.

The opening video is all about those four guys, which makes sense as that’s all that this show meant at all.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Funaki vs. Kid Kash vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London vs. Psicosis vs. Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Super Crazy

Yeah it’s a 9 way match. Helms is champion and ran his mouth so this is his punishment. The intros take nearly five minutes. Thankfully some guys come out together. No tagging here and it’s one fall to a finish. Who wants to bet that Helms escapes with the title? He won it last month so yeah I’m thinking he’s keeping it. Helms hides on the floor while the other eight guys pound on each other.

The Mexicools hits stereo planchas to take out London and Kendrick. Helms finally gets in and they all jump him as he more or less said he was better than all of them. Obviously I can’t go through every spot and type it up here as it’s a huge mess the whole way through. There are WAY too many people in there and it’s just wasting time until we get to the ending sequence.

Helms and Kash go at it for a bit which gets us nowhere. Helms is sent to the floor as this continues to be six or seven guys lay down while two or three do stuff. Kash gets a sweet rana to take down Psicosis on the floor. Londrick takes out Nunzio and Funaki and then do it again off the top to those same two plus Scotty. Helms misses the Shining Wizard and Crazy gets a big spin kick for two.

London hits Helms with a senton back splash that crushes Helms’ face. London gets kicked in the face by Scotty who then has to do the Worm on Helms. The long wait allows Psicosis to break it up. That should teach Scotty but it won’t of course because he’s a stupid man. Dead Level (brainbuster, but looks like a suplex here) from Kash hits Psicosis but Crazy hits a moonsault out of nowhere. Helms steals the pin to retain. Wow how shocked I am at that.

Rating: C-. Total meh match here. These multi-man matches are supposed to be insane and all that jazz and for the most part they are, but dude, NINE PEOPLE? There’s no way to follow is and it’s the living definition of a match with no flow because you can’t have any. It was ok, but WAY too many people out there which brought it down a lot.

Booker and Sharmell say Booker is injured and can’t defend his US Title tonight. Teddy doesn’t believe him. Since he’s got a midcard title, he’s facing Benoit which he did about 100 times. Sharmell begs to keep Booker out of the ring as does Booker. Teddy doesn’t care and the match is still on. Total waste of time.

Some overly perky chick that I don’t know wants to talk about Mania but Finlay cuts her off. He doesn’t have a fight tonight so he’s going to pick one. He picks up the chick and apparently she’s Krystal. That’s Lashley’s wife I believe. He comes out to the ring with her over his shoulder.

Yep here’s the Boss to save her and beat the crap out of Finlay for like two seconds. No mention of the marriage/girlfriend thing. Lashley has a match with JBL coming up so cue up that bell!

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

Bradshaw sprints to the ring to beat up Lashley as Finlay bails and we start the match. He rams Lashley’s head into the buckle and Bobby shakes it off. JBL: “Oh dang it!” That was funny. Lashley is more or less brand new here so he’s the undefeated monster at this point. Jillian is JBL’s image consultant so she’s out there with him. Lashley gets a belly to belly overhead on the floor and JBL is in trouble.

You can tell JBL is more or less carrying this as Lashley just does power stuff. Loud JBL SUCKS chant. He actually manages to hit a top rope elbow for two. It looked horrible but imagine him going to the top and dropping an elbow. That’s pretty impressive. Lashley has had very little offense this whole match. They slug it out and Lashley manages to take over a bit.

Lashley gets caught in a sleeper though as the crowd falls asleep along with them. It’s weird to see that JBL towers over him for some reason. Not really sure why but it just kind of is. JBL goes up again and gets caught in a powerslam. That looked cool for some reason. Lashley busts out three straight belly to bellies. Ok make that four. That’s borderline Scott Steiner territory and that’s not a good thing.

Clothesline From JBL misses and Lashley gets two off a t-bone suplex. Finlay comes out and throws Tony Chimmel into the ring. With the distraction he gets the shillelagh into Lashley’s throat and the Clothesline From JBL ends this. Yes, a main event jobber is the guy to break the winning streak. Well sure why not.

Rating: D. The match was boring, the booking was stupid and the ending was bogus. Seriously, why should JBL, a year removed from being world champion and on the verge of becoming an announcer, get to beat Lashley for the first time? They couldn’t set up Lashley vs. Finlay later? This made my head hurt and the match was pretty boring on top of that. Just bad stuff.

JBL’s eye was busted open and it might be legit as I don’t remember him getting anything worthy of having it busted. Oh yeah that’s real.

They show Lashley leaving as I guess we’re supposed to be all caring here?

Ad for the Bret DVD, which is well worth seeing.

Big Time Mania ad. Big Time was the ad campaign that year and it sucked.

Chimmel brings out Batista who is out with an injury. He had to forfeit the title which Angle won in a battle royal. He says he’s going to keep this short and that he’s here for three reasons. Number one is he wants to see Angle vs. Taker. Second is he misses the fans and the audience. The third reason is his arm isn’t torn anymore. He wouldn’t be back until July so maybe it was a bit worse than he thought.

Orton is talking to Angle and says that he’ll be champion when Batista gets back. Angle doesn’t respect him apparently. Kurt more or less blows him off.

We see Josh with JBL at the interview area online and he has glasses and long hair. Weird.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/???

This is an open challenge. MNM is Mercury, Nitro and Melina. Nitro is more famous as Morrison now. Matt took them up on it but we don’t know who the partner is. MNM are the Smackdown tag champions here so of course this is non-title. Here’s Matt, and here’s his partner.

MNM vs. Matt Hardy/Tatanka

This is like an indy show nightmare. Tatanka is in a non-title tag team match with Matt Hardy on PPV in 2006. WHAT THE HECK? Zero reaction as you probably would have guessed. Tatanka came back at the Rumble and would eventually turn heel and start a feud with Lashley before leaving before they had any contact. Hardy and Mercury start us off here.

Somehow Matt is the big star here. Off to Tatanka and Mercury is in trouble. Sweet goodness this is uninteresting beyond belief. Tazz: who’s going to challenge MNM. Cole: Matt Hardy and Tatanka? Point for Cole. Melina gets in Hardy’s face and slaps the heck  out of him. Tatanka comes in to chop a lot. Melina rakes his eyes and MNM takes over again. Sweet merciful crap this is boring.

The heels double team Tatanka as I want to find a bag to put over my head to avoid having to watch this. Suffocation is sounding good right now. You can hear Hardy calling Tatanka Chris which probably isn’t the best thing in the world to hear. Tatanka catches Mercury coming off the top in an atomic drop but Nitro comes in to keep the tag from happening. And that completely fails as Matt comes in a few seconds later.

Matt cleans house as this is still completely uninteresting. Twist of Fate is blocked and Nitro gets a superkick to Hardy. Both members of MNM have been in the ring for like a minute and Tatanka doesn’t seem to mind his partner doing double duty. Back to Tatanka and we get stereo Twist of Fate and Papoose To Go to end this. Was there ANY point to this at all?

Rating: D. It was boring, it wasn’t interesting, and Tatanka was the best they could come up with? Was Shannon Moore not available? Somehow he would have been a better choice. This was just awful as the fans didn’t care and this went nowhere at all. I can’t even say it was short as it went over ten minutes. Bad match.

The first hour and 15 minutes of this have absolutely sucked if you didn’t get that.

Another Mania ad.

We recap the US Title match. Booker was champion and Benoit got a best of seven series (which they did in WCW for the TV Title) for the title. Booker was hurt for the majority of it though so Benoit kept fighting Orton as a substitute. Orton won the series to keep the title on Booker. I never got what Orton got out of it. Benoit beat Finlay to get another shot then had to win another fatal fourway with JBL, Hardy and Jordan to finally get the shot. Ok so apparently the title was vacant and the series decided it. Makes a bit more sense.

US Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

Before the match we waste more time as Booker says there’s no title match tonight and wants Teddy out here. Apparently he still isn’t healthy. Booker says he’s going to forfeit the title and Benoit gets it. What the heck? He leaves and Benoit grabs a mic shouting COWARD. Sharmell gets in his face and slaps him then does it again. Make that three. Booker runs in to blast him and it’s on. What happened to the forfeit? Is Benoit champion at the moment?

Benoit takes it to the floor and is all over him. Booker of course was faking the injury if you didn’t get that. If Cole can point out the obvious then so can I. Benoit chops the living tar out of him and blocks a cheating rollup to hammer away some more. Baseball slide sends Booker to the floor and he’s getting destroyed here. Booker claims he’s hurt again and tells the referee he needs to end this.

Naturally he’s faking again and Benoit eats steps. Booker gets kind of a superkick in the ring which hits Benoit in the chest for two. I’m trying very hard not to make Benoit jokes here and I’m losing my restraint abilities. Booker hooks a full nelson which gets him a grand total of nowhere and here come the Germans. Crossface doesn’t work and Booker gets a spin kick for two.

Booker and Benoit used to be best friends apparently. Why don’t I remember that at all? Probably because they’ve always been rivals but why care about things like history? Booker gets a long chinlock which gets him more or less nowhere. They chop it out which of course Benoit wins. Axe kick misses and here comes more Wolverine.

Benoit busts out Three Amigos to a nice reaction. Another big kick takes Benoit down. Booker is going down right Asian stereotype tonight. Benoit stops something from the top from Booker and chops away. Big old superplex follows some headbutts for two. Houston Hangover misses which is a move I’ve always liked. Rolling Germans hit Booker and he’s in big trouble. Cole keeps calling the Hangover a front flip and it’s getting on my nerves.

Benoit goes for the headbutt but just like he did to Booker it’s blocked. Axe kick gets two. Is there a white person that does that move? Booker does his rolling sunset flip out of the corner but gets countered into the Sharpshooter. Sharmell gets up so the hold doesn’t last long. Benoit gets it again and then lets it go to grab the Crossface to of course end it. Long match at nearly twenty minutes.

Rating: B. It’s Chris Benoit vs. Booker T. Did you expect a bad match here? This worked very well as you would expect it to with both guys working hard out there and the results coming out well. As I’ve said, a lot of the time a cure for the problems a company has is to just go out and have a good wrestling match. That’s what they did here and it’s got me wanting to watch more of the show. Can’t ask for more than that.

The fans tell Booker he tapped out. I think he knows that.

Rey and Benoit celebrate in the back. So does Teddy. And Matt. Lashley. And Scotty. And all of the roster. Dude, it’s the US Title. He didn’t get this kind of reception when he won the world title. And here’s Chavo and Vickie and Rey. Well of course it’s about Eddie. Have I mentioned I FREAKING HATE THESE REFERENCES??? Vickie is skinny here.

We recap Orton vs. Rey. Eddie dies so Rey got the push of a lifetime because of it. He came into the Rumble at #2 and won the thing, giving him the title shot. Orton got all ticked off at going out last and said that Eddie is burning. This led to Rey getting ticked off and putting up his title shot here tonight. Orton was evil here and since I was fed up beyond all belief with talking about Eddie I loved Orton here.

Rey Mysterio vs. Randy Orton

Winner goes to Mania for the world title shot. Orton is all chiseled here and the Legend Killer and not like orange. The fans chant for Eddie. Well he’s right there in the ring in the mask so it’s not like it’s going to take long to get him here. Orton overpowers him to start. It’s weird saying that as Orton is far from a power guy. Rey starts with regular stuff which doesn’t work that well. Ah there’s the speed and it of course works better.

Orton shouts to the crowd that he doesn’t need their help. He’s freaking evil looking and was awesome at this point. Orton takes over and pounds away with basic stuff. It’s so weird to see him using generic power moves rather than his usual stuff. Cole calls Orton a jerk. That’s so amusing now. Orton gets two on an Irish Whip. Who does he think he is, Billy Watson?

He follows that us with the Eddie chest slap which gets huge heat. Orton is as tall as Rey is when he’s on his knees. Rey kicks his head off and sends Orton to the floor though and the momentum doesn’t change though as Orton catches a rana in a powerbomb position and swings Rey’s body into the post like Jason did to that chick in Friday the 13th with the tree. FREAKING OW MAN!

Orton works on the arm which is hurt from going into the post like that. Rey starts a brief comeback but Orton gets one of my favorite moves as he gets Rey over his shoulder for a powerbomb them moves forward to snap Rey’s neck in a neckbreaker. That’s just awesome. And now back to the arm. That’s what we mean by psychology: he keeps going back to something injured. If you hurt a guy’s body part in a real fight, you would stay on it. That’s basic psychology.

Rey gets a rana out of nowhere but hurts his arm in the process. Nice work. Orton stomps on the arm so Cole thinks Randy is evil. Uh, isn’t that kind of like, smart? Arm gets rammed into the steps a bunch of times. Orton hooks one leg on a cover so Cole of course says he hooks both. Cole can’t even count to two. That sums him up very well I believe. Orton goes for the neckbreaker thing again but gets countered, complete with the most oversold armdrag ever.

Rey counters a middle rope electric chair drop into a sunset bomb for a long two. Tazz thinks it’s over more or less and I think he’s probably right. He means it’s over as in Rey has no more chances. Spinwheel kick sets up the Eddie dance as my eyes roll around my head. Seated Senton gets no cover. Rey gets a running neck snap which was rather cool. Orton’s head is busted open.

Orton catches an Asai moonsault attempt into a powerslam position but they botch the living heck out of what appeared to be a tornado DDT but Rey didn’t go down to the mat plus Orton went the wrong way so he looked like he just kind of fell down. Anyway, Orton pokes him in the eyes which gets him nowhere. Rey goes up but Orton dropkicks him on the way down. That was nice but could he get an RKO like that? I don’t think so!

Rey dropkicks him and Orton sells the heck out of it and he lands perfectly in position for the 619. Orton was overselling on purpose though as he ducks under the kick and grabs a rollup and the rope to get the pin and kill the life out of the crowd. The look on Rey’s face is straight up awesome. I love seeing children wanting to cry.

Rating: B-. The match was good for the most part with the arm stuff and the time went by very quickly, but there was something missing here and I’m not sure what it was. I think the problem is Orton had to alter his style too much which hurt things. It’s not bad really, but it wasn’t a great match. Oh and before I forget: HAHA YOU LOST REY! I BET EDDIE IS CRYING NOW BECAUSE YOU FREAKING SUCK AT LIFE! Ok I’m good now.

Orton grabs the mic and says he’s going to the main event of Wrestlemania. Oh of course Rey was put in too and won the title. The explanation was that Teddy just added him because there was never a limit on the amount of people in it. They do the big emotional leaving for Rey which makes me want to fast forward.

The announcers act like Orton shot Rey in the face or something.

We cut to Rey apologizing to the Guerreros in the back. Chavo says keep your chin up and they curse a lot. What do the Guerreros lose here? Eddie wasn’t going or anything so it’s just a guy that shot his mouth off and screwed up. Go get on Maury or something. Did I mention I REALLY hated this angle? The same roster that congratulated Benoit all looks at him, apparently not having moved since Benoit came by.

We recap the battle royal where Kurt jumped to Smackdown to win the world title due to Batista’s injury. He was celebrating and the gong went off. Do I need to explain this any further? This has been built up as a HUGE match and that’s exactly what it was supposed to be. They had fought for the title before but that was when Angle was still goofy so this is going to be a showdown. Angle gets in a great line: when that bell rings, I don’t have a soul either.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. The Undertaker

It’s the remix for Angle’s music here which I never liked. That title just looks AWESOME on him. He was a guy that was incredibly valuable to have on the roster for instances such as this. Batista was hurt and so they needed a credible champion. Angle is someone they could throw the title on and have it be completely realistic. That’s always a great thing and it worked perfectly here.

Taker literally takes four minutes for his entrance. Think he’s taking long enough? Cole’s voice sounds like it’s giving out. Angle tries to get a hold on him early on and Taker goes to the ropes. That’s a bit odd to see I’d think. Angle hits the floor when nothing works. Cole says neither of them have ever tapped. What the heck has he been watching for the seven years Angle has been in the company? He’s lost an Ultimate Submission match and Jericho made him tap on Raw once. Also Benoit made him tap multiple times. Yeah that’s nonsense.

Taker works a headlock which is odd to see him using. Off to the arm and a short arm scissors which gets him nowhere. They’re going back and forth here and it’s working for the most part. Definitely a slow build as we have nearly half an hour to go and no more matches. Old School connects and Taker busts out a Downward Spiral of all things for two.

Snake Eyes hit but Angle hits a SWEET release German for one. The dueling chants begin which makes sense as these are both faces. There’s some chick at ringside that screams louder than Melina. Taker gets knocked off the apron and into the railing. Angle dives at him and is caught before being rammed into the post. The apron legdrop is VINTAGE! Back in and Angle blocks a chokeslam with some kicks so Taker just hits him in the face to put him back down.

Angle goes for the knee and gets the post figure four. Solid stuff here so I apologize for the lack of humor. There’s nothing to make fun of. Patrick gives this big lecture to Angle about keeping it in the ring and Angle nods at it. Patrick turns around and Angle is right back out there which was rather funny. They’re building very slowly here but Angle is picking it up a bit.

Back to the floor again with Taker drilling him with knees. Taker’s knee is messed up a bit and this time he’s selling so we’ve got that going for once. It’s noticeable how much more swearing there is here. Angle grabs the legdrop on the apron this time and gets the ankle lock. Angle holds him on the floor against the ten count, breaking at seven and then breaking the count before going right back to the ankle. That’s sweet stuff there.

We hit the ring again and Taker is caught in another leg lock for a bit. More dueling chants start up. Taker counters mounted punching with a triangle choke and Angle is in trouble. Amazing that Fedor can’t last 10 seconds in one but Angle can last like 30 in it. We hit the floor again and Angle is in trouble. They’ve broken the count like 10 times so far which isn’t something you see that often. It adds some realism to the match as they’re not ignoring rules for the sake of convenience.

Taker clears off the announce table and then rolls in to break the count again, even though I’m not sure one was going on. Angle grabs Taker and puts him through the other announce table with the Angle Slam out of nowhere. Angle stops the count at 9 including some F Bombs. Back to the floor again with Angle pounding away. Taker wouldn’t have beat the count back in. He reverses Angle and sends him into the steps. GREAT match if you can’t tell that.

Taker goes up but gets caught and takes some punches. Angle sets for a suplex but Taker knocks him back. Angle is all like boy I said I’m suplexing you so I’m suplexing you and runs up the corner to throw Taker down in a belly to belly. Somehow that only gets two. Fans are way into this. Angle throws more punches so Taker kicks him in the face. Sometimes you can’t beat the simple stuff.

Chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock and Taker is reeling. Taker can’t shove him off so he pulls him in, grabs the head and locks on the triangle choke again. Angle reverses that and hooks the ankle lock one more time. Taker rolls through and finally gets out of it. Chokeslam mostly hits but Taker kind of dropped him which might have been intentional due to the ankle. That gets two as I’m loving this stuff.

Last Ride is reversed into a sunset flip and Angle grabs the ankle lock AGAIN for like what, the fifth time? Yeah two in the previous sequence and two on the floor. Dang man. Taker can’t get the ropes so he kicks Angle off AGAIN. Angle Slam connects for TWO. Sweet merciful crap this is awesome. Angle pulls down the straps as Taker sits up in a great visual.

They slug it out and Taker sends him in and grabs the Tombstone. Angle reverses and Taker reverses and ANGLE reverses into the SIXTH Ankle lock, this time with the grapevine attached. Taker raises his hand to tap and he’s in the middle of the ring. Taker rolls them over and kicks Angle in the face again to become the ONLY person I’ve ever seen to survive the grapevine ankle lock.

Angle slips up behind Taker as he gets up and hits ANOTHER Angle Slam (NINE freaking finishers from Angle if you’re keeping track) and Angle rolls him up but Taker busts out (and perhaps debuts) the Hell’s Gate (not called that yet and still called a triangle choke here. Thank you martial arts master Tazz) and Angle is in big trouble. Angle is almost out and after the second arm drop he pops up and jumps over into a cradle while the choke is still on and gets the three! Taker thinks he’s won and Angle is DONE. Post match Taker says he has Angle’s number. I guess he’ll text the rematch request.

Rating: A+. Screw Meltzer and his love of Japanese guys and his cruiserweight jazz. THIS is your match of the year. These two beat the heck out of each other and it was nothing but awesome the whole way. For some reason (Angle leaving for TNA) they never had the big rematch. THIS should have been the main event of Mania rather than a 9 minute triple threat with Angle dropping the belt to that freaking pest Rey so that Eddie could have his second moment at Mania.

Both guys looked awesome out there and they threw everything they had at each other and then the ending worked perfectly. Both guys more or less lost and it lets Taker keep his credibility. Much like the Benoit match at the 03 Rumble, Taker didn’t get beat so much as he got caught. That’s a very key thing and it helps a lot here. Excellent match and well worth going out to see.

Overall Rating: B-. Well there are six matches on this show. Three are boring beyond belief, two are good and one is great. The last hour and a half is great stuff but the first hour and fifteen minutes or so are just wretched. DEFINITELY check out Angle vs. Taker but the rest isn’t worth much. Booker vs. Benoit is good but they’ve had about 100 matches that are good so it’s nothing unique. Check out the main event, but I’d definitely watch this out of order if you’re going to watch it all. Actually skip the second and third matches. The opener is watchable and the last three are good. Yeah that should do it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Royal Rumble 2006
Date: January 29, 2006
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 16,178
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Joey Styles, Tazz

Eddie Guerrero. If you honestly believe this show is about anyone but him, you’re completely wrong and missing the point. Tonight’s show is about milking as much as we possibly can out of Eddie’s dead body, because the entirety of the Smackdown main event scene until Wrestlemania (and even glimpses of it for years to come) would be about Rey Mysterio fighting for Eddie’s memory against people like Orton. I never have been comfortable with this but it is what it is. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Mark Henry vs. Kurt Angle. The Rumble and Edge vs. Cena gets a little time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Kid Kash is champion coming in and this is Texas Tornado rules and one fall to a finish. Helms is from Raw but is here because it’s an open invitational. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone gangs up on Helms. I don’t know if there was a delay of some sort or just a really bad sign, but there are dozens if not hundreds of empty seats visible in the lower arena, most of them opposite the hard camera.

Helms gets beaten into the corner but Kash pulls some other people off for no apparent reason. Nunzio slams Kash onto the mat for one Noble gets two on Nunzio off a powerslam as London hits a dropsalt for two on Noble and Nunzio. Wait apparently those red seats are stairs. Those are rather distracting and the seating structure is odd as there’s a group of about eight seats per row then another set of stairs as opposed to most arenas where there are about twice that many in a row. At least the place isn’t as empty as it seemed.

Nunzio hits a slingshot to send Noble into the corner and Funaki adds a bulldog for two. We finally get to the dives with Nunzio diving on a pair of guys, allowing Noble to get two on Kash via a leg lariat. Noble dives on Helms and Nunzio on the floor and Funaki is knocked off the top onto Nunzio and Noble. London kicks Kash to the floor as well and dives on everyone not named Helms with a shooting star off the top.

Back in and London loads up a shooting star press onto Kash but Helms goes up top at the same time and hooks a swinging neckbreaker to bring London down for two. A brainbuster from Kash kills London again but two guys come in for the save. All six guys are back in the ring now and Kash gets two off a Backstabber on Nunzio. Funaki can’t hit a tornado DDT on Noble and gets caught in a gutbuster for trying. Noble gets sent to the floor by Helms and Gregory hits a Shining Wizard out of nowhere for the pin on Funaki and the title.

Rating: C+. What are you expecting to find here? It’s six guys in the ring all at once and going nuts on each other with spots. There isn’t supposed to be any sort of story or flow to it and there certainly wasn’t here. It was the right choice for an opener and the match worked well enough for its purpose. Fine but nothing memorable at all. Helms would hold the title for over a year.

Teddy gushes to Vince about how excited he is over the Rumble. Vince is happy because he has Torrie, Victoria and Candace Michelle doing the drawing. They were a heel Divas stable at the time which didn’t work at all. HHH and Orton come in to draw and only the latter seems pleased with his number. Amazingly enough, these guys got the EXACT SAME NUMBERS that Guerrero and Flair got when they came in to draw last year.

Trish is looking GREAT in a referee outfit when Mickie, currently the psycho lesbian, comes up and says she loves Trish. Ok then.

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Trish is referee and I didn’t realize she was in some barely there shorts. I miss Mickie wearing those skirts that often flew up above her waist. The problem with Ashley was simple: she wasn’t that good. Mickie cranks on the arm but Ashley counters into a wristlock of her own. Massaro armdrags Mickie down and it’s clearly Mickie flipping while Ashley moves her arm.

James heads to the floor to get a breather but Ashley hits a clothesline off the apron to take her down. Back in and Mickie snaps, basically turning heel mid-match. Mickie hooks a standing half crab to fill in some time as it’s clear Ashley has nothing to do here. We head to the floor where Mickie rams Ashley’s ribs into the post. Back in and Mickie hooks a bow and arrow hold to work on the back even more.

Ashley catches an incoming kick from Mickie and starts her “offense” but can barely hook a crucifix. The only good thing about it was Mickie’s skirt flying up but the rollup only gets two. Massaro shoves Ashley into the corner and the fans are openly booing now. She’s just absolutely horrible and thankfully Mickie kind of powerbombs her out of the corner for the sloppy pin.

Rating: D. Again, anything with Trish looking that hot involved can’t be considered a failure whatsoever. She was likely there because it was clear that the match was going to be horrible and the fans had to have something to be distracted by. Thankfully Trish and Mickie would get to have their excellent Mania match instead of another Ashley mess. Terrible stuff but hot women in tiny outfits make up for it.

Big Show draws his number. Rey comes in to talk about Eddie a bit. Apparently Eddie is joking with Rey by giving him this number.

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Boogeyman

This is part of an ongoing feud, which involved Boogeyman eating a growth off of Jillian Hall’s face. Do yourself a favor and don’t ask. Oh and I forgot to mention the set. It’s themed like a coliseum with guards opening up the doors for the wrestlers to come in. They did that at some of the old King of the Rings and I still like it.

John hides behind Jillian for awhile and then bails to the floor, leaving the blonde chick to get stalked. Boogeyman puts worms in his mouth and spits them into Jillian’s mouth. Boogey gets sent to the floor and into the steps before JBL chokes away a bit more. The Clothesline misses and a pumphandle powerslam ends JBL in less than two minutes. I have no idea what the point of this was.

Mama Benjamin comes in and hits on Vince. Thankfully Shelton comes in to save Vince from a future paternity suit. Melina comes in to hit on Shelton but Mama takes him away quickly. Mama Benjamin was one of those ideas that didn’t make a ton of sense and didn’t accomplish anything but it certainly exists. MNM draws their numbers as well. Vince and hits girls sit on the couch to watch the Rumble.

Video on the Rumble, which says everyone thinks they’ll win. Vince is vindictive against Shawn around this time too. Apparently there will be some returns tonight as well.

Before the Rumble starts, the Spirit Squad comes out to give us a chant.

Royal Rumble

HHH is #1 and Mysterio is #2, naturally coming out in a lowrider and an Eddie shirt. HHH tries to power him down to start but Rey comes back with kicks to the knee. Rey hits a headscissors to take HHH down and into the corner but HHH lifts him to the apron. Rey comes back with a springboard dropkick to the back but HHH ducks the 619. Simon Dean is #3 and goes after Rey to a bunch of boos. Dean sends him to the apron and wants a high five from HHH but gets punched in the face and hit by a seated senton. The elimination is academic.

Rey takes HHH down and hits a Bronco Buster as Psychosis is #4. He immediately goes after Rey before kicking HHH down. Psychosis busts out a freaky move where he hooks a Rock Bottom grip on Rey but lifts him into the air and slams Rey face down. Rey gets put in a Razor’s Edge position but ranas Psychosis out for the elimination. Ric Flair is #5 and goes right for HHH. They slug it out with Flair taking over but ducking his head into the facebuster. Ric comes back with a crotch grab but HHH rakes the eyes and backdrops Flair out.

Big Show, who hates HHH at the moment, is #6. They were feuding at this time, I believe over HHH injuring Big Show’s hand with the hammer. Show chops him in the corner and HHH falls forward onto Show’s chest. A headbutt keeps Rey down and there’s a side slam to HHH. Like an idiot, Big Show picks up HHH and slams him to the mat instead of to the floor. Coach is #7 and makes it about thirty seconds before Show puts him out.

Show does that stupid slam thing to HHH AGAIN. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt him or anything. The chokeslam takes HHH down again and here’s Lashley at #8. He and Show slug it out with Show getting backdropped to the mat. Kane, Big Show’s tag champion partner at this point, is #9. He and Lashley stare it down and Kane kicks Lashley’s head off.

Lashley immediately comes back with an overhead belly to belly and a third press slam to HHH. Kane takes a Dominator and Sylvan, the “Smackdown fashion consultant” is #10 and lasts about 18 seconds before Lashley throws him out. Unfortunately he turns around and gets caught in a double chokeslam followed by the elimination. The partners quickly turn on each other with Kane getting a boot up to stop a charging Show. They fight to the ropes and HHH runs up to throw them both out, emulating the same thing Shawn did in 1996 with Vader and Yokozuna.

Carlito is #11 and goes for Mysterio as is the theme tonight. There’s a Backstabber to put Rey down in the corner, where he’s been for a lot of the match tonight. Carlito punches HHH down and here’s Benoit at #12. Everyone gets a German and Carlito taps to a Crossface which means nothing here. HHH breaks it up for no apparent reason and whips Benoit hard into the corner.

The Game puts Benoit on the apron and they fight over a suplex with Benoit winding up on the top rope. Benoit headbutts HHH down and hits the Swan Dive before Booker T is #13. He’s US Champion here and in tights, which suggests an injury to me. Oh yeah he’s barely moving out there and just letting Benoit chop him. Benoit dumps him in about 20 seconds so yeah Booker must have been hurt.

Benoit chops on HHH until Joey Mercury is #14. Mercury fires off dropkicks but gets caught in Rolling Germans. Carlito jumps Benoit to break it up and Mercury pounds on Benoit a bit. Freaking Tatanka is #15, giving us a group of Mysterio, HHH, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury and Tatanka. Seriously why did the bring TATANKA back? He fires off chops as the fans do the Seminole chant.

Johnny Nitro is #16 to give us the Smackdown tag champions in the ring at the same time. HHH is upside down as Tatanka chops Nitro down. Nitro is John Morrison if you don’t remember him. Mysterio is finally back to his feet after being down for about half the time he’s been in the match. Trevor Murdoch is #17 and chops away on Tatanka as the match calms down again. Eugene is #18 and immediately Hulks Up, hooking an airplane spin on Murdoch. Mysterio hits a double bulldog to take both guys down to remind us that he’s still there.

Road Warrior Animal is #18 and immediately takes MNM’s heads off with a double clothesline. A powerslam puts Nitro down and we hit another lull. RVD is #20 and is back for the first time in nearly a year. Animal and Benoit have a staredown until Benoit gets kicked in the face. RVD kicks MNM down and backdrops Animal out to finally clear some room out in the ring.

Orlando Jordan is #21 and no one cares. Van Dam hits a kick to Carlito’s face off the top and Chavo Guerrero is #22. Nitro takes Three Amigos but Chavo goes up and is immediately knocked out by HHH. Matt Hardy is #23 and hits the Twist of Fate on Jordan. RVD and Rey combine to get HHH to the apron but they can’t get him out. MNM put out Tatanka and there are way too many people in this match with three letter initials. Super Crazy is #24 and literally flips to the ring.

At the moment we’ve got HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, Murdoch, Eugene, RVD, Jordan, Hardy, Crazy and now Shawn Michaels at #25. Why are there THIRTEEN PEOPLE in the ring at once? Everyone swarms Shawn but he punches them all off until Murdoch gets in some shots on him in the corner. There goes Trevor and Carlito knocks Shawn to the apron but not out.

Chris Masters is #26 and Hardy sends HHH to the apron. Viscera is #27 in his World’s Largest Love Machine period. He sits on Matt and does his anal rape thing as Mercury saves himself from being eliminated. Matt gets some boots up in the corner but is thrown out pretty quickly thereafter. Shelton is #28 and Benoit eliminates Eugene. Goldust returns at #29 and chops a bunch of people to no reaction.

Orton is FINALLY #30, giving us a final group of HHH, Mysterio, Carlito, Benoit, Mercury, Nitro, RVD, Jordan, Crazy, HBK, Masters, Viscera, Benjamin, Goldust and Orton, or HALF THE PEOPLE IN THE MATCH. To give you an idea of how lame the star power is other than like three people in this, the final five were Masters, Viscera, Shelton, Goldust and Orton. Other than Randy that’s like a medium budget indy show, not the last five entrants to the Royal Rumble.

Randy almost immediately puts out Benoit. Seriously? You can’t put out Masters or Jordan? It just HAD TO BE Benoit??? An RKO takes down Viscera so Masters and Carlito can throw him out. Carlito immediately turns on his partner and dumps Masters. Goldie loads up Shattered Dreams on Carlito and gets in a good kick, only to be eliminated by RVD. Orton puts out Jordan and Shawn and HHH finally go at it. MNM double teams Shawn but gets eliminated for their efforts.

Shawn has to skin the cat to stay in and turns into a kick to the head from Shelton. Michaels is cool with that and sends Shelton to the apron followed by a superkick to eliminate him. This brings out Vince who hates Shawn and the distraction lets Shane run in and dump HBK. Shawn is ticked and runs back in and superkicks HHH after escaping a Pedigree attempt. He goes after Vince but a single referee stops him. Ok then.

We’re down to Carlito, Van Dam, HHH, Mysterio and Orton. Van Dam kicks Carlito out and we’re down to four. Van Dam kicks Orton in the head and teams up with Mysterio to beat on the Evolution guys. Rob goes up top but HHH crotches him and sends Rey into the corner to knock Van Dam out, getting us down to three. Evolution teams up on Rey but he knocks them both into the ropes for a double 619. Orton takes the seated senton but HHH clotheslines Rey down.

Orton powerslams HHH down but the RKO is countered into a spinebuster. HHH goes after Rey and gets flipped out to get us down to two. Cole’s voice is almost gone. HHH, ever the nice guy, pulls Rey to the floor and sends him into the steps. Mysterio is basically dead so Orton takes his sweet time. That’s his downfall though, as Rey counters the elimination attempt into a rana and sends Orton out for the win. Naturally he had to be #2 which the WWE considers less than #1 for absolutely no apparent reason, but that’s HHH for you.

Rating: C-. This isn’t a bad match, but man alive is it boring. There are three major problems in this match. First of all, there were WAY too many people in the ring at most given times. Like I said, once Orton got in there we had fifteen people in the ring at once. That’s double what the number should be around and it clutters things up way too much with that many people in there.

Second, as I touched on near the end, the talent pool was pretty shallow here. I mean, MNM aren’t bad but they don’t need to be in the final grouping of the Rumble. Guys like Masters and Carlito should have been eliminated earlier but just stuck in there. That gets old fast and it was begging for someone like Shawn to come in there and eliminate like five guys at once.

Finally, since there were so many people in there at once, it was hard to focus on any single story. You had stuff like HHH trying to go wire to wire but that got lost in the shuffle. Rey was on the mat for long stretches of time so he wasn’t really noticed either. Shawn’s issues with Vince only popped up for the elimination and were only touched on. When you can’t focus on one thing, you can’t focus on anything and that makes for a dull match. One good thing was that Rey wasn’t a guaranteed winner, so there was some drama. It’s not a bad Rumble but it was badly run.

Mickie comes in to hit on Trish as she does an interview on WWE.com.

Rey celebrates when Edge comes in and says don’t even think of challenging him at Mania.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB back at Mania and waited nine months before cashing in on Cena after Cena survived the Elimination Chamber. Tonight is the rematch three weeks later.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena walks across a catwalk that lowered from the ceiling and hops in over the top. You know, in case it’s wasn’t clear enough that Edge had no chance here. Cena clotheslines him down to start but has to chase Edge back inside, allowing the champion to send Cena into the buckle. We head to the floor again with Cena having to avoid Lita and getting sent into the steps as a result. A baseball slide sends Cena over the barricade and the match stops again.

Edge tries for a countout but Cena DIVES back in at nine. Back in and Cena pounds away but charges into a spinwheel kick for two from the Canadian. Edge punches Cena to the floor again but goes after him instead of going for the countout again. Cena gets sent into the steps and back inside a missile dropkick gets two for the champion. Edge loads up a superplex but gets shoved off, only to avoid a guillotine legdrop from Cena.

Cena grabs a quick FU attempt but Edge counters into a rollup for two. A big boot puts Cena down but he rolls through a top rope cross body for two. Edge tries a rear naked choke of all things which Cena eventually breaks up. The spear misses and there’s a DDT to put both guys down. It’s Cena up first to start his finishing sequence but Lita distracts the referee. Edge misses a charge and is sent into Lita, setting up Cena for the FU and STFU to get the title back.

Rating: D+. This was a world title match at the Royal Rumble? Why? Edge never felt like he had Cena in trouble and the match wasn’t anything that you would remember five minutes after it ended. Lita’s cleavage was awesome but when that’s the best thing about a match….well you shouldn’t be surprised because it often was in Edge’s matches, but still, pretty lame match here that made Edge look like a footnote. Obviously that would change, but not a good start for him here.

Edge freaks out on Todd Grisham in the back. Edge storms off and Lita panics a bit. We get a random Hacksaw Jim Duggan cameo (does anyone do those better?) to call her a HO!

We recap Angle vs. Henry. Batista had been scheduled to face henry but tore his triceps and had to vacate the title. Angle won the title in a battle royal and gets to defend here. The idea is that Henry is way too strong for Angle. Seriously, that’s the story. Why this main evented the show isn’t quite clear.

Angle is all I’M THE BEST WRESTLER IN THE WORLD and no one can beat me. He leaves but comes back to tell Mark Henry that he SUCKS. This version of Angle was AWESOME, as he would just go out there and go beast mode on everyone and make them look like fools trying to keep up with him. Also he was perfect for a quick title reign like this as no one would question him popping up out of nowhere and taking the title. Those kind of people are hard to find but Kurt was one of them.

Smackdown World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Angle gets overpowered to start. That’s about all there is to say for the first two minutes or so, as Kurt keeps getting shoved around and then taken to the floor. Henry whips him into the steps and then stands on Angle’s chest back inside. We hit a bearhug for a bit until Angle hiptosses out of it. He tries a cross body like an imbecile but rolls out of the World’s Strongest Slam. The ankle lock and Angle Slam are no good so Henry clubs him down again.

Instead Angle hits a German (kind of) to put both guys down. The Angle Slam gets two (duh) and the ankle lock is broken up again. The counter causes the referee to get bumped so Angle gets a chair. A low blow and two chair shots take Henry down for two, so Angle takes a buckle off. Kurt drop toeholds him into the buckle and rolls Henry up to retain. Our hero everyone.

Rating: D. Seriously, why was this……

And a gong strikes. That’s why.

As for the match, it sucked pretty terribly. Why would we buy Henry as a potential champion here after him showing no proof of being at that level? The match wasn’t even ten minutes long, making it feel much more like a TV match than a PPV title match. I know they wanted to do the big ending with Taker, but there had to be a better way to do it.

Taker comes out in a freaking horse drawn chariot and motions that he wants the title. Then he shoots lightning from his hands at the stuff over the ring, before slamming his arms down to send lightning at the posts. The ring collapses to end the show. Yeah that happened.

Overall Rating: D. I watched this show over the course of two days, and honestly the only thing that came to my mind other than the last ten minutes of it was how Trish looked in that referee outfit. That’s how completely forgettable this show is. Nothing came out of this show as Cena was champion all over again, making the last three weeks feel like nothing. Nothing to see here and definitely not worth seeing.

Ratings Comparison

Gregory Helms vs. Kid Kash vs. Funaki vs. Jamie Noble vs. Nunzio vs. Paul London

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Mickie James vs. Ashley Massaro

Original: C-

Redo: D

Boogeyman vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: F-

Redo: N/A

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: C-

John Cena vs. Edge

Original: B

Redo: D+

Kurt Angle vs. Mark Henry

Original: D-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

What was I on for that Edge vs. Cena match?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/25/royal-rumble-count-up-2006-eddie-guerrero-puts-on-a-mask-and-wins-the-rumble/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

I’m watching the 2005 Rumble and there’s a stretch in the early part with an amazing group of talent coming in one after another.  My task for you all: rank the talent in the ring at the moment.  The guys in the match currently are: Guerrero, Benoit, Mysterio, Benjamin, Edge, Booker T and Chris Jericho.  I’m looking for what order you think they have in overall talent, not prestige or accomplishments.  My order:1. Chris Jericho

2. Chris Benoit

3. Edge

4. Shelton Benjamin

5. Rey Mysterio

6. Eddie Guerrero

7. Booker T

 

At the end of the day, there isn’t a wrong answer to this question.

 

Give me lists.  NOW!

Smackdown
Date: January 7, 2011
Location: Tucson Convention Center, Tucson, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

In the first show of the year we have the World Heavyweight Championship on the line in a last man standing match as well as Alberto vs. Rey in a 2/3 falls contest.  The most intriguing thing to me is if Kane vs. Edge is finished tonight, what does that mean for the Rumble?  Hopefully this doesn’t see a double countout or a tie etc as that would make me rather irritated.  Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is more or less what I just told you.  Now why can’t I get paid to do something like that?  I said more or less the same thing minus a few basic lines.

Do you know your enemy?  That’s a good question actually and I certainly don’t know mine.

After a brief opening statement from the announcers, it’s time for the main event!

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Edge has the red sunglasses back which I think he’s had recently but not for very long.  This is last man standing remember.  We get the big match intros here which isn’t something you see that often in WWE anymore.  It might be the angle of it but the belt looks quite different for some reason.  Kane puts Edge down in the corner with powerful strikes to start us off.

Edge gets a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down for about a three.  Sideslam by Kane gets another three on Edge.  The champion hits a spear to Kane while Kane is on the apron and the bald man is down on the floor.  It only gets a six though and we hit the floor.  Up the ramp they go with Kane in control.  Isn’t it amazing how a single shot in one of these matches can send one or both guys off for a good 8 feet?

They go into the back towards the concourse and Edge is slammed into a wall.  Why are the concession stands closed?  Back into the arena in the crowd with Edge blocking a chokeslam off the stands.  They fight up the steps into the luxury suites which have their own concession and merchandise stands.  Dude that’s kind of awesome.  Trashcan to the stomach of Edge breaks his momentum.

With Edge down after being rammed into various things and hammered a bit, Kane finds a flight of stairs and a wheelchair.  I think you know what’s coming here.  Edge counters at the last second and only the chair goes flying.  A big boot puts Kane down for 5.  We take a break with Edge in firm control.

Back with Edge in control still and the fight going on in the crowd near the announcers’ table.  Kane clears off the announce table but Edge manages to reverse to send Kane into the steps.  That gets a 9 which sounded a lot like ten but they kept it going anyway.  Edge does one of those jumps off the top that exist only to jump into a shot from their opponent, in this case an uppercut.

The uppercut is good for 8 and here comes Kane.  Top rope clothesline misses though and Edge gets the Edgecution to put both guys down.  Cole informs us that if it’s a tie then we keep going.  That makes me feel all tingly.  Chokeslam out of nowhere has Edge and the title in big trouble.  Edge is up and 9 and heads/falls to the floor.

Kane wants a Tombstone on the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps and the big fried freak is in trouble!  Kane gets up at ten but is down at eleven.  Edge sets for the spear but runs into a huge boot to the face to put him back down again.  That gets 9 but Kane gets a chokeslam onto the table to half kill Edge!  Striker was sent flying and is partially pinned under the table in a funny looking visual.  Edge uses Striker to pull himself back up and beat the count.  That was kind of funny actually.

The challenger is all fired up here and he throws a chair into the ring.  Make it a pair of them.  He goes up but Edge pelts a chair at his head to take Kane down one more time.  That looked sick.  BIG chair shots to the knee have Kane in big trouble.  The spear hits but Edge isn’t happy yet.  He goes out and gets the pelted chair and hits a Conchairto to the knee of Kane, which is enough to end this at 17:20 shown of 20:50.

Rating: B. This was a fun brawl with some fairly creative spots, namely Edge using Striker to get up.  I like the ending as instead of the spear it was instead the spear that set up the Conchairto to end Kane.  That’s a nice touch and it prevented the match from ending stupidly with a spear ending Kane when nothing else could.  I liked it rather well and the ending only made it better.  Good match.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

They’re certainly pushing this as a huge show with the title matches and all that jazz.  Striker calls Vickie the female version of Rosie O’Donnell.  Why are so many people obsessed with Rosie?  What has she ever done?  Nice reaction for Kofi here.  We get a quick video of last week’s match where Dolph more or less stole the win from Kofi which is true only to a degree.

Kofi hammers away to start as Cole says that Kofi needs to move on instead of trying to get the title back time and time again.  Neckbreaker by Dolph gets two.  Off to a clear choke that they’re going to call a chinlock because they want to I guess.  Splash in the corner misses though and here comes Kofi.  These two have some solid chemistry together to be sure.

A rollup by Ziggler with some tights gets two.  They’re moving very fast out there.  Trouble in Paradise misses and it’s off to the Sleeper!  Kofi simply grabs the hands and rips the hold off and gets the SOS for an incredibly close two.  Middle rope suplex is blocked by Dolph.  I know it seems like I’m flying through this but there is almost nothing between these fast moves.  After Kofi knocks Dolph off the ropes to block the suplex, the HUGE crossbody ends this perfectly clean at 5:31.  That came out of nowhere!

Rating: B. Ok, this grade is going to require some explanation as to how it can be equal to the first match and I think it might clear up a bit about my grading system in general in case some people think I’m a bit inconsistent.  While I’m giving this match the same grade, it’s certainly not as good as the first one.  There are two key differences though.

The first is that the opener was meant to be a long brawl, as evidenced by giving it nearly four times as long to work with.  That match had time to work out spots and to be a brutal fight, whereas this was supposed to be fast paced and exciting.  Different styles of match, but both well done.

Second, which ties into the first, was the ending.  Dolph literally turned around to get hit by the cross body.  Kofi is already horizontal when Dolph sees him.  I love matches that end very quickly and with moves that aren’t finishers.  To the fans it looked like another big move that Kofi would hit to get a two count.  Instead it’s over and the fans are surprised.  That’s an excellent touch and it keeps the matches interesting.

As for the match itself, one important thing to make clear is that this was NOT a squash.  Dolph was definitely in this the whole time and Kofi got a big shot in to get the win.  That’s very important as it keeps Dolph looking strong while still switching the title.  This was a very fun and fast paced match which is what you come to expect from these guys.  Good stuff.

Dolph, ever the villain, destroys Kofi post match.  Vickie gets on the mic and says that since Teddy isn’t here tonight, Dolph gets a rematch RIGHT NOW!

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

LOUD Kofi chant but he’s more or less d…..and screw that as he hits Trouble in Paradise and it’s over in 43 seconds!  That kick looked great.

Rating: B-. Well the opening 13 seconds were very weak but they picked it WAY up in the next 19.  The final 21 were completely awesome though and it definitely was good enough to make this a passable match.  Dang man those final 21 seconds with Kofi rolling Dolph over for the cover were more exciting than the entire Flair vs. Steamboat trilogy.

After a break Dolph is yelling at Vickie and telling her that was a boneheaded move.  Vickie blames him so Dolph says that maybe she should get a new boyfriend.  He leaves and she screeches in a terrifying voice.  I’ll be sleeping with the lights on tonight after hearing that.

Long recap of the cage match Monday.

Kelly is on the way to the ring when Drew stops her.  He says he’s a different person than he is out there.  This was allegedly supposed to be used for Tiffany and not Kelly, which means absolutely nothing but this is a short segment and I need something to talk about.  Drew wants to earn her trust and wants her support in his #1 contenders match tonight.  She smiles and says thanks and leaves.

Cody vs. Drew vs. Show for the #1 contender spot up next.

Cody Rhodes vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Big Show

See I told you it was up next.  Cody does look good in the jacket.  I have to give him that.  Could Drew look any more like a natural face than he does?  And here’s Vickie of course.  She makes it a fatal fourway with Dolph thrown in too.

Cody Rhodes vs. Drew McIntyre vs. Big Show vs. Dolph Ziggler

Drew has a headache and is still tired from the previous two matches.  Show looks very ticked off about the extra person being added in.  They all surround Show who is like screw it and beats up all three guys.  Drew is tossed to the floor first and then the other two get beaten on a bit as well.  Down to Show vs. Cody which is a mini-feud at least.  Dolph breaks up a pin by Show which gets him picked up by the hair and slammed down.

All Show for the first two minutes or so.  Channeling his inner Bobby Heenan, Cole says Show could have won this five minutes ago.  Stinkface to Cody has him gasping for air.  Show is busting out some of his old spots here like the Final Cut (Nightmare on Helm Street) and the one where he lifts up his leg and drops it onto the other guy’s chest like a standing legdrop (Wiki calls it the Showstopper but I’ve never heard that name for it before)

Drew has been in the ring maybe 20 seconds so far.  Big chop in the corner misses Dolph and Cody teams up with Dolph to beat down the Giant.  And that fails completely as Show blocks a double Irish Whip and sends both guys flying over the top with a simple tug.  Out on the floor Show is triple teamed and sent through the time keeper’s area.  He’s down but so is everyone else as we take a break.

Back with Cody vs. Dolph in the ring.  Cody goes for a moonsault but Drew shoves him off the top into the waiting arms of Big Show.  Cody gets back in to stop Drew from destroying Dolph and shouts that he’s #1.  He’s Paul Jones all of a sudden?  Drew back in now but Show is back up to a big reaction.  He picks off Drew and sends him flying on the floor and I think we’re about to pick up again.

Cody gets crushed in the corner and down goes Ziggler.  Show calls for the Chokeslam and out of nowhere Wade Barrett comes in to destroy Big Show!  A few big boots and a top rope elbow take down Show and Wade leaves.  Something to note there: Barrett just took down Show when three guys couldn’t.  Cody can’t steal the pin after the Beautiful Disaster but Ziggler manages to get the Zig Zag for two.

Futureshock gets two as this is ridiculous.  Show took a beating from Barrett, Cody’s second best move, Ziggler’s pin finisher and Drew’s finisher and is up a few seconds later.  We get that he’s a giant but don’t make him look invincible.  Cody and Dolph team up again but Dolph grabs the Zig Zag on him out of nowhere and gets the pin at 10:12 shown of 13:42.

Rating: C+. Fun match and told a decent story, but for the love of goodness I can’t stand Show being made to look invincible like he does with those power kickouts.  Doing that to one move is ok, but how weak does the Futureshock look when it can’t get a pin after all that softening up mere seconds before it?  This still was more good than it was bad though so points for that.

Michelle McCool vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly looking GOOD tonight.  They’re flying through this show too with maybe two backstage segments so far tonight.  Michelle charges into the corner to start but Kelly gets a choke with her legs while hanging upside down over the ropes.  Michelle fights that off with ease and goes after Kelly’s leg.  Kelly manages to get a headscissors to take her down and sets for the K2.  Michelle casually counters into the Faithbreaker to end this in 1:42.  Not quite a squash but you could call it that pretty easily.

Laycool beats down Kelly post match until Drew runs down for the save.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio

2/3 falls here.  This show has been PACKED with wrestling so far at a level I haven’t see in a long time.  Before we start Alberto says that it’s his destiny to win the Rumble.  He talks about how there are pure Latinos and then the rest of them, who are car washers, gardeners, and Rey Mysterio.  I like that.

Rey starts us off here with some speed moves and wants the 619 maybe 75 seconds in.  Alberto ducks and the Cross Armbreaker makes it 1-0 in 1:37.  I was under the impression that there would be no math.  We get a graphic telling us that it’s 1-0.  Are fans really that stupid?  After a quick break we’re back with Rey in an armbar and then taking a big backbreaker to put him down again.

Rey gets sent to the floor as we debate if Rey tapped out just to break the hold, which would make sense.  A big rana takes down Alberto but Rey can’t capitalize immediately.  Alberto gets up and goes for the armbreaker again but Rey turns into it and gets a rollup for two.  619 can’t hit again but a cradle gives Rey the 1-1 tie at 8:12 (total time elapsed) and we take our second break of the match.

Back with Alberto holding another armbar as Rey is in more trouble.  Del Rio gets caught by the usual speed and leverage moves from Rey but Del Rio fights Rey off with a Codebreaker to the arm.  The fans chant 619 over and over and Rey gets a body scissors into a DDT for two.  Rey tries to go up but Del Rio gets to the ropes and down comes the masked man.  He’s caught in the Tree of Woe so Del Rio hammers away.

Alberto goes up for a suplex while being on the outside.  In other words he’s trying to suplex Rey to the floor.  Rey’s arm is really hurting him here.  I’m not sure why Alberto isn’t getting back in the ring but rather is fighting from the apron.  Rey gets a 619 around the post to take down Alberto.  Rey gets a big dive to take out Alberto and Ricardo and get a big reaction from the crowd.  Del Rio gets back in but Ricardo grabs Rey’s ankle and it’s a countout to give Del Rio the win at 11:53 shown of 18:53 total.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good for the most part but I wasn’t feeling it for some reason.  Rey losing on the countout to end the match doesn’t do it for me at all.  If you’re going to have Rey lose in the end, have it be to the armbreaker.  Del Rio still looks good but at the same time the ending feels kind of silly.  Decent match but I didn’t like it for some reason.

Rey beats up Ricardo a bit post match including a 619 and the springboard splash.

The announcers recap the show and announce Show vs. Barrett next week.

Overall Rating: A. This show was packed and it worked the whole night.  With two nearly 20 minute matches plus a title change and a new #1 contender, how in the world can you argue against this one?  Oh and I forgot that Barrett is here now too which is good as the show is dying for star power.  I really enjoyed this show with it being so wrestling heavy.  Good stuff indeed and a great way to kick off the year.

Results

Edge b. Kane – Conchairto to Kane’s Leg

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Top rope Cross Body

Kofi Kingston b. Dolph Ziggler – Trouble in Paradise

Dolph Ziggler b. Cody Rhodes, Big Show and Drew McIntyre – Zig Zag to Rhodes

Michelle McCool b. Kelly Kelly – Faithbreaker

Alberto Del Rio b. Rey Mysterio two falls to one

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Money in the Bank 2010
Date: July 18, 2010
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Matt Striker, Jerry Lawler

Well it’s about ten minutes before the show starts and I legitimately do not know who to pick for the winners in the major matches. I’d expect a cash in tonight but I’m not entirely sure. I can’t imagine both will be cashed in, but I’d think one. The Nexus is pretty clearly the most interesting bunch here as we have reason to believe they’ll interfere in at least one Raw match. This should be fun though, although I’m worried that they’ll mess up the MITB appeal, but that’s WWE for you. Let’s get to it.

Apparently WWE has promised us a great main event here tonight.

The video is about risking it all to win it all. Not what I would have gone with but I can live with that.

Smackdown Money in the Bank

Kofi is probably the favorite here but I just don’t see him getting it. Ziggler….no. Christian is the smark favorite but I doubt it, likely causing him to further his heel turn. Rhodes is out next with his sounding like Living on a Prayer music. Hardy kind of gets a pop. Drew is the likely favorite here. Don’t expect a lot of commentary here as it’s mainly just a bunch of insane spots. I’d like to see Kane win but that’s not likely. Show is out last, sans mega ladder.

Everyone jumps the big guys to start which makes sense. That of course doesn’t work so we continue one of the longest running feuds in company history. Those two have interacted on and off for over 11 years. Everyone not big and bald goes away for some reason. They’ve been gone for like a minute now and the ring is empty. Show tries to find his own ladder and everyone gang jumps on him.

Everyone is on the floor now and Show has a bad knee. We need a Public Enemy video explaining how to climb a ladder a la Mike Whipwreck. Matt almost gets there but Christian makes the save which the fans don’t seem to like. I always get scared in matches like these. They’re so freaking dangerous. In the words of JR, how do you learn to fall off a 20 foot ladder? Where do you find a 20 foot ladder? If these are 20 feet tall then Kofi apparently stands about 10’2.

Everyone is doing the one person climbs and then one person stops it while the rest do nothing of note. Christian is about to be pushed to the floor but he uses an ancient Chinese technique to save himself from maximum pain: he jumps off. Why has no one done that before? Matt and Christian team up for about as long as Dennis Rodman was married to Carmen Electra. Wow I’m old.

We go back to what we started with as everyone goes after the big guys whenever they start. That’s some storytelling so I can’t complain there. Drew cleans house, sending Cody into the post after a brief dash. I’ll stop the puns on his name now. There must be like 8 ladders everywhere. Kane goes after Drew and rips up both tables. Make sure you move the monitors in your insane rage Kane. There’s a good employee.

No one is in the ring again. Drew is on the announce table and Kofi looks up at the huge ladder. The ring posts are green and the ropes are white. It’s a very Irish looking ring. Kofi hits the Boom Drop to more or less murder Drew and kill himself. Ziggler almost gets it but Show shoves the ladder down and Dolph hits it on the way down. Striker says there has never been a giant in MITB. Uh, nonsense but whatever.

Show splashes a ladder with Christian and Matt under it. Just call him the Giant again. They say that like 4 times in a row without saying Big Show. It’s mega ladder time. The ladder weighs more than Kane apparently and could hold 7 of the 8 people in this match. And he can’t get it in the ring. There is little funnier than unintentional comedy. So after spending three days setting it up, Rhodes makes the save by hitting him in the knee with a step ladder.

Cody’s face and head slams into the ladder. I think it does at least. Either way it looked great. This whole no one is up thing is really annoying. Kofi goes Shelton and springboards up to the big ladder while Show takes forever to get up (his knee is hurt though so that’s fine). Cody hits a SWEET dropkick to stop him from going up. We need more people in this at once though.

We bust out the finishers on the ladder and Kofi, Show, Dolph and Cody are all in the ring. Matt, Kane and Christian have been gone for like ever. At least Drew was taken down in a huge spot. This is already a 20 minute match. Kane shoves over the super ladder and Show goes over the top rope. The other guys pile ladders on top of Show which is a smart idea actually and a fairly innovative idea.

The midcard squad stops Kane and we get a fight between Matt and Cody. This has to be the end. Cody is almost there but Kane saves. It’s Kane by himself but Dolph gets the sleeper on him for like a second but can’t get it. There’s the full sleeper. Kane does exactly what I thought he should do and ducks his head a bunch of times, ramming it into the ladder.

This is a LONG match, probably the longest of all the MITB matches. I’d call Drew winning since he’s been gone for such a long time, although that isn’t much of a limb to go out on. Kofi gets chokeslammed on the pile of ladders. Kane and Cody go up the ramp to a MITB armored truck. Kane comes back to stop Matt as we’re almost at 30 minutes. Matt has it but Christian is right there. Huge freaking spot coming. They’re both standing on top of the ladder and there they go off of it.

Everyone is dead and here comes Drew. Kane comes back and it’s save time. Downw he goes and HOLY CRAP KANE WINS! He does the fire out of the corners thing from the mega ladder in an AWESOME visual. I’m a huge Kane fan so this is awesome to me.

Rating: C+. MITB is a match with an altered scale as by definition it’s awesome. This was kind of subpar as there were FAR too many spots where people just did nothing at all and were just laying around. Drew was down for about 15 minutes straight. Points for being surprising though and maybe he’ll cash in tonight. This is fun though as Kane has been both unpredictable and cool at the same time so this is good. I’m very happy so far.

Sheamus cuts a long promo about how he doesn’t get any respect from anyone especially Cena. I liked this as it gave him some much needed character development.

Raw Women’s Title: Eve Torres vs. Alicia Fox

I’d bet on the champion retaining here but then again Eve is about ten times hotter so there we are. Eve is freaking gorgeous but allegedly management is REALLY happy with Fox for no apparent reason. Matt points out that the Divas Title hasn’t ever changed hands in Kansas City. Could that be because the belt has only been around for like three years and it’s only had like 4 holders?

The crowd is of course dead for this as they’re spent from the first match. But remember, the Divas are IMPORTANT and NOT eye candy. Yeah the only think I care about here is how good Eve looks in those gold shorts. She has great legs and abs. Alicia works on the back a lot and it sucks even more life out of this if that’s possible.

Eve gets the weakest clap from the audience I’ve ever heard. Eve does some decent stuff but this just needs to end. Cross body only gets one. The match isn’t terrible but it’s just not interesting at all. WE GET PSYCHOLOGY as Eve gets hit in the back and it sets up the Axe Kick to end it. THANK YOU! Now is THAT so hard to work into a match?

Rating: D+. This gets a huge upgrade for the ending because of the psychology being very effective. The crowd was completely dead here at a level that I haven’t heard in a long time. It wasn’t as bad as it’s being made out to be but it could have been better. Very solid ending though.

We review Swagger being a jerk on Friday which was great for him. Allegedly that was Bunkhouse Buck from WCW. Swagger is on the phone with his mom and says his dad was living through him so this was deserved. This is GREAT.

Unified Tag Titles: Uso Brothers vs. Hart Dynasty

Given the fact that we haven’t seen anything from the Usos other than 6 man tags and a squash win on Superstars, I can’t picture them winning yet. The Uso in shorts starts vs. David. We go through the list of guys from the Hart Dungeon and barely scratch the surface. That’s Jay apparently and the crowd is somehow even MORE dead for this. Wow this is basic stuff.

We get the Umaga hip smash of death to the face of Smith as this is more or less just a Raw match. They mention the taped up thumb which is a tribute to a fallen Samoan who they don’t name. That would be Umaga but he never existed. Kidd makes what is supposed to be a hot tag but might as well be in Siberia. Kidd hits a SWEET sunset flip into a rollup but gets caught in an Alley-Oop Samoan Drop.

The top rope splash from Jimmy gets knees though and David gets a small reaction on a tag. The girls go at it for a bit as Kidd beats up Jay. The Sharpshooter on Jimmy ends this fairly easy. Just a somewhat longer Raw match. Cole says this could elevate them to a new level. Uh, what level is that? Venezuelan tag champions?

Rating: D. This should have been on Raw and that’s all there is to it. Ok apparently there’s more to it than that. This was just the definition of average and there was nothing to it at all. The Harts look strong though which is the most important thing as they continue to establish themselves as a solid team.

Ad for Criss Angel’s new season which is the show’s sponsor.

We recap Swagger vs. Rey which is just a rematch from Swagger not losing the title in a one on one match. Oh and Rey has a bad ankle thanks to Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Jack Swagger vs. Rey Mysterio

I love that little run around the ring that he does when he gets there. Rey limps a lot which makes me accept that he’s going to retain here. Big match intros make almost any match better. This should be good anyway though as both guys tend to work well together. Apparently being educated is a huge thing for Swagger and gives him an advantage. WWE supports education and since Linda McMahon is a WWE person, Linda McMahon supports education. That’s almost as much of a stretch as WWE has a tag division.

Rey hits a seated senton to the floor and hurts his leg again. Striker thinks Swagger hurt his head when he rams his head into the buckle. Gee you think? Striker hits the running up the ropes belly to belly which is always nice. Swagger stands on Rey’s ankle on the floor. Why couldn’t he be this ruthless when he was champion? At least they’re going with a basic story here before Rey makes his Superman comeback.

Rey hits one oh his thousand rana variations to send Swagger into the buckle but hurts his ankle on the modified moonsault. Swagger is getting better with every match he has. Swagger gets the powerbomb but Rey gets the foot on the ropes because he hooks the wrong leg like an idiot. Why does that never happen any other time? Swagger goes for….something off the middle rope but Rey reverses into a tornado DDT. I think it was a powerslam off the top but it didn’t work.

Rey is finally called Superman as he hits the 619. Amazing that a guy with a torn tendon could manage to get a running start for a move like that. Ankle lock is on but he makes the ropes. Vader Bomb hits but no cover. A second one hits and still no cover. Rey takes the boot off of his foot like Eddie (yeah I’m shocked too) and rolls up Swagger for the pin. Swagger beats him up post match and hooks the ankle lock. Kane comes out for the save and chases Swagger off but doesn’t cash in.

Rating: B-. Not a terrible match or anything but nothing great really. Rey’s ankle magically healed somewhere in there as he just forgot about the pain I guess. Also they made more Eddie references. Can Rey just no win anything without having Eddie referenced? This was decent enough but it was nothing all that great. Swagger looked awesome here though, other than the ending.

SCRATCH THAT! Kane comes back, this time with music, a referee and the briefcase! If he loses here….sweet goodness I’ll hurt someone.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Rey tries to run but Kane hits a chokeslam and then a Tombstone. YES! KANE IS WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!! Screw any kind of unbiasedness or whatever. THIS IS AWESOME!

Rating: A+. The tiny man loses and Kane is world champion. This is GREAT!

Jericho and Edge both say they’ll win.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly looks awesome tonight as does Michelle. No one cares about this obviously but they’re a bit awake here. Kelly hits her K2 thing but Michelle grabs the leg and puts it on the ropes. Kelly goes for a sunset flip off the second rope and Layla goes British Bulldog on her for the pin. Yeah whatever.

Rating: D-. Just for Striker using the English Muffin name twice which is annoying. Laycool’s music is addictive too. They’re clearly just killing time before Beth comes back to do her thing. This was pretty uninteresting though and really went nowhere but at least Kelly was hot and it didn’t go on that long.

Raw Money in the Bank

Orton gets the kind of home town pop but it’s still a huge one as you would expect. Miz is the dark horse pick to win but he likely won’t. Mark Henry needs to get lost in the desert somewhere. DiBiase is growing on me. They’re going through the intros much faster here than they did in the first match. Maryse in a red dress works very well. Morrison is someone that is a wild card here but I’d bet on him not winning. Him giving away the sunglasses is great. Jericho is the main event filler guy here which is fine for a guy at his state in his career. Bourne is here for high spots more than likely. Edge is probably the Drew McIntyre here: the guy you expect to win but doesn’t.

They do a lot of basic stuff to get us going which is what you would expect. Edge stops Bourne but Bourne hits a sweet rana to take him down. Orton this the DDT off the second rung of the ladder which is a nice little variation on it. Morrison kind of falls down and hits his head on the ladder which wasn’t planned. He looks ok though. Morrison gets some solid reactions here and takes out Miz and DiBiase.

This match suffers from being the second of these matches in less than two hours. The spots don’t look as impressive as they did when we hadn’t seen them in four months. Henry shoves four guys off two ladders and everyone is down. Maryse goes into the ring and sets up a ladder with everyone down. She takes forever to climb the thing as the question of can anyone climb the ladder and get the case is raised. Morrison stops her and nothing really comes of it.

Everyone is apparently dead again as people are all out on the floor other than Miz. Striker names Miz’s fans Mizfits. Dude, stop trying so hard. Morrison does a modified Shelton spot by being slingshotted into the ladder on the floor but holding on. He then grabs one standing in the corner and slides over on it to get on the ladder Edge is on. Nice spot. Edge and Miz get Morrison stuck between the rungs of a ladder and beat him up. Edge slams the ladder into Miz’s face in a perfectly Edge spot.

Henry takes over for a bit but gets the Big Show treatment from earlier including a Codebreaker and Spear on the floor. Everything goes insane again and Air Bourne hits. He almost gets up to the case but can’t unhook it a la Swagger. We get Canadian violence as Edge and Jericho fight atop the ladder. RKO OFF THE LADDER ON JERICHO!

Orton LOOKS at a ladder and gets the biggest pop of the night. He almost has it but Miz makes the save. MIZ WINS IT! HOLY SWEET GOODNESS! Miz gets a mic as the announcers can’t believe what they’re seeing. Miz says that everyone here is living in his moment. He says this means he made it and he’s right. This is totally believable here and given where he was just like three years ago (chick magnet) two years ago (in a tag team like say David Hart Smith is now) or even a year ago (parodying Cena) this is AMAZING.

Rating: B-. I liked this better than the first one actually as the length being significantly shorter helped it a lot. The 26 minutes for the first one was too long but cutting about 10 minutes off of this one made it much better. The winner helps it a lot too, but this was more about drama and there was less time for things to be bogged down and drag. Slightly better, but I could easily see that being reversed.

We recap Cena vs. Sheamus with the Nexus involved, which makes this a very interesting main event.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Sheamus

It’s in a cage, which is somehow supposed to stop the Nexus somehow. There’s no top on it that I can see so I don’t get the theory there. This starts pretty slowly and then picks up a bit. The fans are anti-Cena. He also has stitches from a cut on Raw Monday. Cena wants an ELBOW apparently. They’re pretty much just killing time here until the Nexus stuff starts. It’s not bad or anything but it’s kind of uneventful.

After about five minutes of somewhat interesting stuff, Sheamus hooks a sleeper and Cena climbs up the ropes with him on his back. This is pin, submission or escape in case you were wondering. Cena stars his usual ending sequence but of course it doesn’t work. Sheamus gets him tied up in the ropes and does a nice pose. Why he doesn’t leave through the door and then come back for the beatdown is anyone’s guess.

Sheamus climbs over him but the less white guy gets out and hits a bulldog from the top. We’re just going through the motions here but it’s picking up pretty well. Pump Kick and FU get two and HERE THEY COME! Tarver has boltcutters but they want the key anyway. The referee on the floor throws it into the crowd. FU is blocked and down goes the referee. Sheamus taps to the STFU but there’s no referee….other than the one outside that’s looking at it but whatever.

Nexus stops Cena from getting out with Gabriel climbing up to stop him. Cena knocks him into the cage but gets stopped again. Sheamus goes up and gets stopped too by Slater. He gets out though and Sheamus gets out before SPRINTING away. No Miz tonight I guess which is good.

Cena is left alone with Young and Tarver for some reason which I guess means he’s not alone. Young has less hair here too it seems. Let the beatdown begin. He rams the steps into Tarver, more or less killing him. He takes an armband and leaves, sans title to end the show.

Rating: C-. Not wild here but this was decent. The ending has gotten mixed reactions and I can certainly see that. At first I liked it but the more I think about it the more I think that it just wasn’t that exciting. We knew Nexus was coming out and we knew they would try to mess things up.

 

The ending kind of felt like the ending to a Raw show which is what’s bringing this down. The match itself wasn’t anything that great for the most part but they picked it up near the end. I don’t think anyone expected Cena to get the title back here but this was hardly something you would sleep through. Watchable but nothing great at all

OverallRating: B+. This certainly isn’t the most technically sound show of all time but it wasn’t trying to be. With three gimmick matches, a cash-in and Miz winning MITB, how can you go wrong here? This show was about flooring it the whole way and never looking back. Things like that can work once in awhile but the trick it to not rely on that too much because if you do it loses its appeal.

 

I thought this show would be awful but instead it worked incredibly well as it didn’t try to be a masterpiece and was about excitement and fun. On that merit its one of the better PPVs of the year. Like I said, don’t expect any great wrestling but expect to be entertained for the most part. There’s some bad stuff here but it’s pretty short and inoffensive and by the end it’s more or less forgotten about anyway which is how it should be. Definitely worth watching.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Survivor Series 2010
Date: November 21, 2010
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

This is all about the Nexus with the main event of Orton vs. Barrett for the world title with Cena as the referee. If Barrett wins, Cena is free from Nexus. If Orton wins, Cena is fired. Other than that we’ve only got one Survivor Series match which is kind of a letdown but it could be worse. This is one of those shows that doesn’t mean much because of what happens the next night anyway so it’s hard to get into this in a way. This is one of the two Survivor Series I reviewed live so the grades should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

The usual opening video is the video that opens us. The idea tonight is Cena not wanting to compromise his integrity and give the title to Barrett when he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t want to quit. A song about being what you believe plays over this.

US Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

DiBiase is challenging here because he wants to win his first title. Simple but effective I guess. Bryan has Rise of the Valkyries here which makes things all the more awesome but the lack of beard hurts. Maryse is with Ted here too and is rocking a beige dress. Bryan speeds things up to start and there go the lights. Daniel dropkicks DiBiase to the apron but as he goes to get Ted, Bryan gets suplexed out to the floor in a cool bump.

Back in and Bryan fires off the kicks. It’s so weird to not hear YES or NO whenever he hits…well anything actually. DiBiase hooks a chinlock to slow the champ down followed by a backbreaker and dropkick for two. Back to the chinlock as the fans are way into Bryan here. This one doesn’t last as long as Bryan fights up and speeds up the pace. There’s the moonsault out of the corner and a dropkick to send DiBiase to the floor. Bryan hits the suicide dive to the floor but he comes up favoring his shoulder. Why is that called favoring? It’s in worse shape than anything else so how is that favoring it?

They head back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two and it’s time for more kicks. The LeBell (NO) Lock can’t go on because of the bad shoulder though and DiBiase clotheslines him down. Dream Street (Cobra Clutch) from DiBiase is countered twice so Ted hits a sitout spinebuster for two. Dibiase’s superplex is countered a belly to back superplex by Bryan but he still can’t get the LeBell Lock. A rollup gets two for Ted and Bryan grabs the arm for the LeBell Lock to retain.

Rating: C+. This felt like an extended Smackdown match but that’s not a bad thing. Bryan was still a pretty big underdog in a lot of his matches at this point but wins like this were exactly what he needed. DiBiase never got over in this role or really in any other either. He’s a guy who needs to change his name as he’s never going to get out from under his dad’s shadow and it’s crippling his career. Well that and WWE never putting him on TV.

As Bryan poses on the stage, Miz and Alex Riley (speaking of guys who need to be on TV more) jump him with the MITB case. Miz and Riley get in the ring but the lights go out again. Miz talks about how he’s from Cleveland and doesn’t like the Miami Heat that much. He compares Barrett to LeBron James because neither will ever be a world champion. The fans chant for the Heat and Miz says he’ll cash in soon. That’s true.

We recap Sheamus vs. Morrison. Sheamus is a bully, Morrison is sick of him. That’s it.

Sheamus says Morrison is jealous of him for being a former and future world champion because Morrison never will be.

Sheamus vs. John Morrison

Jerry tells a story of a guy in high school that kept taking everyone’s lunch money and picking on everyone he could but no one ever stood up to him. Striker: “Was his name Judas? (HUH?)” Jerry: “Actually it was Jerry Lawler.” Your lesson for the day kids: beat up other kids and treat them like trash and you could be a multiple time world champion and get a job on national TV every week and get into the WWE Hall of Fame. But you’d rather be a STAR right?

Cole says Morrison described this match as a tank against a fighter jet. Cole: “Of course Morrison the jet and Sheamus the tank.” What would we ever do without Cole? I’m not sure, but I’m going to go look into it. Anyway Morrison starts fast and dropkicks Sheamus to the floor followed by a corkscrew dive to take the pale one out. Sheamus sends him into the barricade and runs Morrison over with an ax handle.

Back in and we hit the chinlock as the fans aren’t all that into Sheamus at all. A backbreaker gets two for Sheamus and it’s back to a chinlock again, although this one has an armbar added in. Sheamus hits the ten forearms to the chest from a seated position instead of in the ropes. It’s always cool to see the evolution of a move like that. Sheamus puts him on the top and pounds away again but Morrison slugs Sheamus down to the mat. A cross body gets rolled through for two for Sheamus and John is in trouble.

The Brogue Kick misses and Morrison enziguris him down. Morrison is all fired up and hits some clotheslines for two but it’s hard to keep Sheamus down. Irish Curse stops the momentum but it only gets two again. The High Cross is countered into a Russian legsweep for two for Johnny. Sheamus goes after the knee to stop Morrison again. This match really is as back and forth as it sounds. No one has had an extended advantage for the most part.

Sheamus puts the leg over his shoulder and pulls Morrison forward to the mat in a cool looking move that I haven’t seen before. Half crab does more damage for Sheamus but he slaps Morrison in the face a few times to tick him off. John kicks him down but Starship Pain is broken up with ease. The High Cross is countered again and the Brogue Kick misses, allowing Morrison to hit the Flying Chuck and a running knee to the face for the surprise pin.

Rating: B-. These two always have this freakish chemistry that really doesn’t make a ton of sense but is always there. Morrison’s flying style was a great counter to the power stuff from Sheamus, and as usual the idea of power vs. speed works as well as anything else. Morrison would never hit a level that they were hoping for him to, while Sheamus would go on to win the world title at Wrestlemania in a few years. You never know what’s going to happen in wrestling, which is why it’s funny.

Watch Big Show’s movie! No one else has.

R-Truth continues to meddle in Cena’s business and offers to interfere in the main event tonight because you can only win by pin or submission. He offers to attack Orton and Cena will be guilt free. Cena yells at him for suggesting it.

Intercontinental Title: Kaval vs. Dolph Ziggler

Kaval is more famous as Low Ki and won NXT Season 2 to get any title shot he wanted. In his first win, he beat Dolph on Smackdown and picked to challenge for this title tonight. A quick elbow gets two so Dolph takes over with a forearm in the corner. There’s the Hennig necksnap and a mini AA for two for Dolph. A handspring elbow takes Dolph down and Kaval pounds away in the corner until a Vickie distraction lets Dolph take him down.

Kaval comes back with a handspring into a kick to the face in the corner which looked pretty awesome. Kaval goes up with his back to the ring, allowing Dolph to put on a sleeper on the top rope for some reason. Dolph gets knocked back and Kaval misses a big flip dive, allowing Dolph to hit the Fameasser for two. The sleeper goes on (on the mat this time) but Kaval escapes and is launched to the top rope where he springs off and hits a spin kick to the face in ANOTHER awesome looking move. Ziggler misses a charge in the corner and gets rolled up for two before Ziggler gets a rollup of his own with tights to retain.

Rating: C-. Kaval tried here but this crippled whatever he had as far as momentum was going. He would be gone before the end of the year and I can’t say I blame him. The match here was ok enough but the chemistry didn’t click at all. Also, why would you pick a match for the IC Title when you can pick whatever you want?

Jack Swagger doesn’t like the idea about being on Team Del Rio, because it should be Team Swagger. Jack says some stuff about the Spanish being spoken here because he doesn’t habla Espanol. Rhodes, who is still Dashing at this point, comes up and makes fun of Swagger’s shoes. Del Rio, who only mostly sucks at this point, says that he won a bet about Swagger getting interrupted. This goes nowhere.

Team Del Rio vs. Team Mysterio

Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes

Rey Mysterio, Chris Masters, Big Show, MVP, Kofi Kingston

Team Mysterio is all in blue in a nice touch. The fans chant for MVP as he’s the hometown boy. The captains start things off but there’s no contact as Del Rio tags in Rhodes. We start talking about baseball (Striker: “Rickey Henderson may be the greatest baseball player of all time.” Cole and Lawler: “WHAT???”) as Rey hooks an O’Connor Roll for two on Cody. Cody comes back with a Disaster Kick and stomps away in the corner.

Here’s Del Rio again who gets caught in the corner and hit by a hard running dropkick. Off to MVP who hits a dropkick and ducks an enziguri in the corner. This was right around the time when he was getting good, but he would be gone in less than three weeks. Here’s Kofi with some bouncing offense but it’s quickly off to Masters. Lawler does his usual talk about the Clowns vs. Kings back in 94 as Reks and McIntyre take turns beating on Masters.

Drew’s middle rope jumps lands on a boot and Masters can tag in MVP. MVP suplexes McIntyre down and hits the Ballin Elbow, only to fall victim to the Ultimate Warrior/Rick Rude ending from Mania 5 (MVP suplexes Drew but Alberto hooks MVP’s foot and Drew falls on top for a pin). Masters comes back in again and hits a kind of Jackhammer for two. Del Rio avoids the Masterlock and puts on the Armbreaker for the submission to make it 5-3.

Here’s Big Show as the stopper for his team and Del Rio bails, bringing in Swagger. Swagger tries to wrestle him down and is immediately chopped in the chest. A kind of chop block takes Show down and it’s back to Del Rio. Show glares at him again and Alberto tags out to Drew, but before Alberto gets out Show knocks him out cold. With McIntyre down, Show slams Kofi down onto Drew for a two count. Apparently Alberto can’t continue and is eliminated. Cody comes in to face Kingston and Rhodes snaps when he gets hit in the face. He goes on a rant and heads to the floor to check the mirror on the back of his jacket.

Rhodes heads back in and gets hit in the face again. Off to Show who slaps Cody on the back and the KO punch makes it 3-3. It’s Kofi/Rey/Show vs. Reks/Swagger/McIntyre and Reks immediately clotheslines Show down in an impressive move. Swagger comes in to work on the leg and hooks the ankle lock. After nearly tapping, Show crawls over to Rey for the saving tag. Rey speeds things up but Jack kicks his head off for two.

Swagger drills Kofi on the apron before catching Rey’s 619 into the ankle lock. Mysterio rolls through the hold and makes the hot tag to Kofi who cleans house and hits the top rope cross body on Reks for two. Kofi misses a charge in the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. After Kofi gets down, Reks charges into a double boot in the corner for the fast elimination. Swagger comes in almost immediately and catches Trouble in Paradise into the ankle lock to tie things back up. Kofi tapping is a weird sight.

Back to Big Show who uses that large body of his to run Swagger over a few times before Swagger has to lay down so Rey and Show can do the on the shoulders splash. McIntyre breaks up the big splash though and Rey is down. Rey gets placed on the top rope but headbutts Jack down to the mat. The 619 sets up that splash off Show’s shoulders to make it 2-1. Future Shock is countered and it’s a chokeslam from Show for the elimination.

Rating: B-. This was a fine Survivor Series match with both teams working well together. I don’t get the point in having Del Rio eliminated that early, but I guess it allows for Rey vs. Del Rio to happen later on. The match wasn’t a classic but it worked well enough for what it was supposed to be. Decent stuff here and the fans were happy with the ending.

Randy Orton talks about how he’s tired of hearing all of the talk about Cena and Barrett, because tonight it’s either the RKO or the Punt to stop Barrett.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

I miss Laycool’s entrance, if nothing else for how they look in the shorts. Laycool are the co champions here as both have belts in a story that wasn’t that interesting in the first place. The champs have to tag here and it’s Michelle to start. Natalya takes it to the mat early on and Michelle actually takes over with the amateur stuff. Off to the hometown heel in Layla who distracts the referee so Michelle can pull Nattie onto the floor.

Back in and Natalya supelxes both chicks at once but her back is hurt in the process. Michelle blasts her in said back on the floor, but Natalya shoves Michelle over the barricade. They all brawl at ringside for a bit before Natalya and Michelle head into the ring. McCool gets rammed into Layla and the Sharpshooter gives Natalya the title.

Rating: D. Here’s this whole feud in a nutshell: Natalya beat up Layla, then Natalya beat up Michelle, then Natalya beat up both of them at once. This wasn’t much of a match but it’s the kind of breather that you have to give the fans before you get to the big stuff later on. Laycool would be around for a few more months, but once they split they fell off the face of the planet all of a sudde.

Beth Phoenix returns to save Nattie from a double beatdown. This would set up a Divas tables match next month.

We recap Kane vs. Edge. Kane beat Taker in the Cell (Today is November 6, 2012 and that match is the last time Smackdown main evented a PPV to date) when Paul Bearer shocked no one and turned on Taker. Edge got this shot by uh……tall. I think he just got the shot because he was on a hot streak. Edge also kidnapped Bearer and tortured him and I don’t think has returned him yet.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Kane

Kane is defending here. Edge wheels out with an empty wheelchair to mess with Kane a bit more. Kane tries a quick chokeslam but Edge punches out of it. Kane sends him to the floor and Edge wheels the chair around a bit more to make Kane mad. A baseball slide sends Kane into the barricade before we head back inside where the Canadian takes out the Spaniard’s leg. He wraps the leg around the post and lays on it for a bit to make sure we don’t get excited.

Kane gets in an uppercut to take over and slugs away slowly. The Big Bald chokes away and yells about Bearer a bit as the fans aren’t really thrilled by this stuff. Granted I question how many fans know Smackdown exists still so it’s a fair problem to have. To really mix things up, Kane puts on a cravate and yells even more. A low dropkick gets two for the champion and it’s back to the trusty cravate. Edge finally gets up and hits a cross body off the top for two.

Kane slugs him down but Edge dropkicks him out of the air on the top rope clothesline attempt. A side slam gets two for Kane and he goes up again. Edge makes the stop but gets crotched and clotheslined down for two. Something resembling a DDT puts Kane down but Edge’s spear hits boot. There’s the chokeslam for two so Kane tries the Tombstone. Edge slips down the back and spears Kane down for the pin and no title, because all four shoulders were down and it’s a draw. Yep, that’s really what they did.

Rating: F+. The ending until the cover wasn’t bad, but other than that this was dull, slow and horrible. These two just did not work well together at all, so of course they had another title match on PPV. Horrible match here as Kane just stood around and held Edge by the neck for LONG stretches of time. Kane would accidentally kill Paul Bearer soon after this. Don’t ask.

Kane beats up Edge post match. Edge comes back and puts Kane in the wheelchair and sends him through part of the barricade.

Barrett tells Cena if he doesn’t help him tonight, Cena is gone. Apparently Nexus started in this building. Cena says he knows what he’s going to do.

Tag Titles: Nexus vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Santino Marella

Slater and Gabriel are the champions here and have Harris/McGillicutty/Otunga with them. Santino and Slater start things off and Marella gets to use some of the martial arts that Kozlov has been teaching him. Off to Gabriel and Kozlov who tags himself in. Remember that two years ago, Kozlov was in the world title match against HHH and now he’s here. That’s quite the fall. Gabriel dives at Kozlov and gets caught in a kind of spinebuster to give the challengers control.

Gabriel gets in a kick to take Koz down and Slater drops a knee for two. Back to Justin for a cravate and then a front facelock. Kozlov is about to get to Santino when Slater draws Cobra Man in. That’s some good old school tag stuff there and it’s awesome. Slater hooks a front facelock of his own but it’s a hot tag to Santino. He hits all of his usual stuff and loads up the Cobra, but the other members of Nexus distract him (not that hard really) and Slater hits the sleeper drop for the pin to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here that wouldn’t be on Raw on any given week. The tag titles were absolutely nothing at this point but then again that could go for any show for a good six year stretch or so. It makes the current tag team resurgence look more impressive as they took it from nowhere to something decent, which is a big deal. The match here was fine but it was another breather for the fans.

Post match the challengers get beaten down again and the Anonymous Raw GM says if Nexus interferes in the world title match, they’re suspended indefinitely.

We recap Orton vs. Barrett. Barrett got the title shot I believe through winning NXT and got Cena to join Nexus through winning at HIAC. Cena hates it and somehow he gets to be the guest referee tonight. If he screws Orton over, he won’t be able to live with himself, but if he doesn’t screw Orton over, Barrett will fire him. This gets the music video treatment of course.

Raw World Title: Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton

Oh and you can only win by pin or submission. Feeling out process to start with Orton grabbing a headlock. A shoulder puts Barrett down and Orton fires away elbows and uppercuts in the corner. Cena finally does something and it’s correct procedure, but the fans boo because it’s against Orton. He goes the same thing to Barrett and Orton hits a dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor where Barrett hits a kick to the ribs to take over. Orton gets sent into the steps and punched down back in the ring. Barrett covers and gets a fair one count. We hit the chinlock for a good while until Orton fights back with his usual comeback stuff. The backbreaker gets two and Orton glares at Cena. Barrett gets in an uppercut and hits a top rope elbow for two.

Barrett hits his pumphandle slam for two and now Barrett glares at Cena too. This is pretty dull stuff so far. Wasteland is countered and there’s a Boss Man Slam (called a Black Hole Slam by Striker) for another close two. The fans do the usual pro/anti Cena chants as Orton hits the Elevated DDT. Barrett gets in a knee to the head and Wasteland hits, but Orton grabs the rope at two. I do love how the idea that Barrett could just win the title on his own is a completely non-factor. Barrett shoves Cena so Cena shoves him back, right into the RKO and the clean pin to fire Cena. Striker: “Cena’s free!” Cole: “Cena’s fired.” Striker: “Oh.”

Rating: D. This barely worked as the focus was entirely on Cena and the match was really dull for the most part. It was someone hitting a move that would be lucky to get two and then glaring at Cena when they didn’t get a pin off of it. Cena was “fired” as a result, but would of course be back on PPV the next month. I don’t think he ever missed a Raw. I like the moment with him counting the pin because that’s him being himself which is the essence of Cena’s character, but the match sucked.

Cena has no idea what to do post match. Nexus runs in and gets beaten down by the Super Best Friends. Cena hands Orton the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The main events sucked but the first half or so of this was fine. The problem with the main event here is the same problem that brought down the whole Nexus angle: Barrett never won the title. Without that, Nexus and Barrett in particular weren’t really big threats but rather guys that annoyed Cena for a few months until he beat them all. Besides, the next night Miz cashed in and won the title after Cena cost Barrett another title shot. This show isn’t really worth seeing but it’s not horrible.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: C+

John Morrison vs. Sheamus

Original: B

Redo: B-

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kaval

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Team Mysterio vs. Team Del Rio

Original: B-

Redo: B-

Natalya vs. Laycool

Original: D+

Redo: D

Kane vs. Edge

Original: D

Redo: F+

Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov

Original: D

Redo: D+

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

I liked this one WAY better on first viewing. Then again I didn’t know what was coming for Nexus back then.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/11/19/history-of-survivor-series-count-up-2010-when-did-orton-and-barrett-get-good/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews