Armageddon 2005
Date: December 18, 2005
Location: Dunkin Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

 

You know I was trying to think of some background to this show and it occurs to me that nothing really happened in 2005. There was One Night Stand and that’s about it. This is a Smackdown show with the main event being Taker vs. Orton inside the Cell. Other than that, there really isn’t much. Batista is world champion and a tag team champion with Rey but he’s in a non-title match. Weird. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video is about Taker vs. Orton and how this is the beginning of the end for Orton.

 

John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Matt Hardy

 

This is one of the issues with watching these older shows: I don’t remember this feud at all. Apparently JBL interrupted an interview and Matt made fun of him for leaving a lot of tag partners, allegedly out of fear. Jillian Hall is with JBL and looks awesome in a white pantsuit. This was during the I WILL NOT DIE phase for Matt for which JBL bashes him for. The man could talk when he got on a roll and he does here.

 

Matt comes in through the crowd and the fight is on. He hammers on JBL on the floor and rams him into the apron a few times, but gets his head caught in the ropes as he comes back in which chokes him badly. JBL, ever the nice guy, kicks him in the head while he’s caught in the hold. Big clothesline on the floor puts Matt down again.

 

Back in the ring he drops a bunch of elbows on Matt and by a bunch I mean like 8 of them but doesn’t cover. And people wonder why he lost the belt. Matt grabs a DDT (called a swinging neckbreaker by the idiot known as Michael Cole) for a quick two. When Tazz has to correct you, it’s saying a lot. A shoulder block by JBL gives him the advantage again and pounds away even more.

 

He sets for a belly to back superplex but Matt knocks him off and gets a moonsault press for two. Thankfully Matt hit it or we would have had an earthquake in Rhode Island. Bradshaw gets the buckle cover off and whips Matt into it. The big clothesline ends it a few seconds afterwards.

 

Rating: C. Nothing special here and I have no idea why JBL who was world champion for most of the previous year is opening a very low level PPV against a career midcarder but like I said, it was a weird year. Just a semi-squash here that was pretty pointless overall, especially since it was only put on the card two days prior to this.

 

We get a clip of Melina screwing Batista to try to convince him to not kill MNM on Friday. Naturally Batista got done screwing her and killed them anyway, winning the tag titles in the process. Dang Melina needs the blonde highlights back.

 

The Mexicools will cancel their match with MNM tonight if Melina will screw them. She declines.

 

Clip of a past HIAC match, in this case Foley going for a little ride. Then another ride. That first one is one of those things where it still blows my mind that he even lived.

 

MNM vs. Mexicools

 

MNM is John Morrison (Nitro here) and Joey Mercury. The Mexicools are Super Crazy and Psicosis. See, they’re Mexicans and they ride lawnmowers. That’s their gimmick. Mercury vs. Psicosis to start us off. Off to Nitro who doesn’t do any better so it’s off to Mercury again. Ok make that Nitro. Yeah it’s Nitro. Not that I can’t tell them apart mind you. They’re just tagging in and out that much.

 

Psicosis misses a charge but gets a punch to Mercury’s stomach off the top. Spinwheel kick sends Mercury to the floor and here come the dives. Crazy uses the referee as a launching pad to dive onto MNM in a nice spot. Psicosis loads up the guillotine legdrop but Melina crotches him to shift momentum. Psicosis gets a sunset flip but a blind tag breaks up anything he’s about to get going.

 

Clothesline gets two for Mercury. Psicosis gets a nice headlock takeover/headscissors to take both guys down. No tag though as Mercury brings Nitro back in. Nitro takes Crazy out which is a smart move because when Psicosis breaks free for a tag attempt there’s no one to tag. Nitro grabs a Cravate and Psicosis still can’t make a tag. Mercury almost jumps into a boot in the stupidest spot ever but he catches himself which is a sigh of relief from me.

 

Psicosis gets an enziguri and it’s hot tag to Crazy. He sends MNM into each other and fires off some dropkicks for everyone. Tornado DDT gets two on Mercury. Nitro and Psicosis go to the floor and Crazy hits the moonsault after kicking Melina to the floor. Nitro makes a last second save. Crazy gets up and walks into the Snapshot (3D position but Mercury holds him there and Nitro hits a DDT) for the pin.

 

Rating: B. I know that’s probably high but I really liked this. The Mexicools were flying all over the place at times but it was never to the point where it was just high spots and nothing of actual significance. MNM was good too and Melina in that tiny skirt of hers helped too. Really fun tag match and I’d like to see them get a long match (this was about 9 minutes).

 

JBL is giving an interview to WWE.com.

 

Booker is asked about his fourth match in the best of seven series for the US Title. He’s up 3-0 at the moment but Sharmell doesn’t want him to talk about it. Booker says he’ll win and then Sharmell insults the hotter Krystal.

 

We recap Booker vs. Benoit. Booker turned heel to cheat and win the title and Benoit got a rematch, only for there to be a double pin. This results in a Best of Seven series like they did in WCW but that might have been a best of five. I don’t think it was though. Booker won the first three but only one clean.

 

US Title: Booker T vs. Chris Benoit

 

If Booker wins he’s champion but if Benoit wins the series continues. Technically this is a title match I guess. Sharmell has a broom with her for the sweep thing. Long feeling out process to start. Heel kick misses for Booker and here comes Benoit, sending Booker to the floor with a chop. They go to the mat and just guess who wins there. Crowd is totally behind Benoit.

 

Booker gets a hammerlock to take Benoit down but gets reversed into a Crossface attempt. Booker makes the rope though and clears his head on the floor. Back in a Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Benoit just works on the leg like only he can. Benoit knows what he’s doing to keep the crowd into it as he changes up the holds he’s using. That’s so helpful because it keeps things from getting dull.

 

Booker rakes the eyes to escape and hammers away in the corner. Benoit fires off some chops and snaps off a German for two. A knee sends Benoit to the floor and they chop it out until Benoit gets rammed into the post. Off to an abdominal stretch in the ring by Booker. Benoit escapes and a double clothesline gives both guys a rest. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two.

 

Benoit unleashes some awesome suplexes and we get Three Amigos, a month after Eddie passed away. That gets a nice reaction from the crowd as well as a two count. Time for Rolling Germans and he goes up for the Swan Dive but Sharmell’s interference stops it. They botch a move out of the corner but to be fair it was next to impossible. Booker was setting for a superplex but Benoit tried to jump over into a German suplex off the ropes. He slipped off but again, not exactly an easy spot.

 

Booker gets a missile dropkick for a long two and everyone is shocked. Crowd is into this one. Benoit chops away but walks into a superkick. Sharmell gets a low blow and the axe kick hits, but only for two. ERUPTION for that kickout. Bookend is countered into the Crossface in the middle of the ring but somehow Booker crawls to the rope. More rolling Germans and Booker is just done. Swan Dive hits but SOMEHOW Booker gets out. This is great stuff.

 

Booker tries a left hand for some reason but gets caught in a Crossface attempt. They hit the mat and the referee goes down. Benoit gets the Sharpshooter and Booker taps but there’s no referee. Sharmell hits him with the broom and Benoit doesn’t even blink. Booker gets up to try another Bookend but Benoit gets a DDT to counter and Booker taps to make it 3-1 in a great match.

 

Rating: A-. Just a great match here as Booker went all out to try to beat Benoit but the back against the wall aspect was enough for Benoit to survive. Booker was DONE at the end and looked like he fell out of a building. The only thing really holding this back was that it didn’t end the series. Booker would win the series but Orton would be a sub for him for the next two matches and would ultimately win the title for him in match 7.

 

MNM is on WWE.com.

 

Another Cell moment is Rikishi being thrown off.

 

Here’s Teddy with network executive Palmer Cannon. Teddy thanks the fans for helping Smackdown win at Survivor Series. That’s all he has to say but Cannon, the epitome of useless, brings out Santa Claus with his elf. And it’s Vito and Nunzio. Well at least Nunzio, who is handing out coal. Yep it’s Vito.

 

He runs down the crowd and says they’re tired of giving. Instead, they think they should get title shots for Christmas. And cue Boogeyman. After the slowest walk this side of Taker, he gets in the ring and “sings” a Christmas song about beating them up, which he then does. Why couldn’t we get more Booker vs. Benoit instead of this? He leaves Vito and a bunch of worms in the ring, which of course we have to keep zooming in on.

 

We get a clip from No Mercy where Orton channeled his inner 7ft bald dude and put Taker in a casket which he then lit on fire. Orton then got “haunted” by Taker. It’s as goofy as it sounds too. Of course we saw all of the images in Orton’s head because that’s how WWE rolls. This turns into a full recap video for Taker vs. Orton, which would be due to clear the ring I guess. Basically Orton realized he did too much so he tried to get out of the match by retiring but Randy’s dad got involved and that was enough for Randy I guess to keep going.

 

The Ortons say they’re not worried because Randy is the master of mind games.

 

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

 

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

 

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

 

We throw it to Josh Matthews at the FRIENDLY TAP! Oh no. Oh not this. The owner is former referee Tim White and he’s not happy. He keeps drinking and drinking until Josh talks about the last match White refereed which was inside the Cell with HHH vs. Jericho. We get a clip of said match where White got hurt, ending his refereeing career.

 

White is still drinking and won’t say anything. He finally says that the Cell ruined his life and everyone left him. He took his pain out on everyone he cared about. He mentions his medical problems and starts crying. Then he pulls out a rifle and staggers off camera where a gunshot is heard. This is exactly what it sounds like.

 

In January it was announced that he had somehow missed and shot himself in the foot. Less than three months after Eddie died, WWE had a series of videos up on WWE.com called Lunchtime Suicides. Every week, White would try to kill himself in a different way. He failed each time, ultimately shooting Josh Matthews, who was something of a host for these videos. I kid you not: this actually happened.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud vs. Kid Kash

 

Just Juventud now and he’s champion coming in here. Yes, they’re really just going on like nothing happened at all. Another pointless Cruiserweight match here with no real story. By no real one I mean Kash probably pinned him recently or something like that. All Juvy to start and he gets a standing rana for two. Fujiwara armbar goes on for a bit so Kash hits the floor. Juvy hits a plancha to keep up his advantage.

 

Kash manages to ram his shoulder into the post a few times to take over. Hammerlock slam gets two. Kash hammers away for a bit but misses a charge into the corner. Juvy can’t capitalize though and Kash keeps the advantage. Shoulderbreaker gets two. A springboard moonsault by Kash eats knees and here comes Juvy.

 

The champ chops away and uses really basic offense. Sunset flip doesn’t work for Kash and Juvy kicks him in the face for two. Loud END THIS MATCH chant starts up. You can tell that’s not a good sign. They go up to the top rope and Juvy hits a super rana but might have hurt his knee. Kash wants time out but gets caught by an enziguri for two. They trade some escapes and Juvy hits the Juvy Driver for two. 450 misses though and the Dead Level (brainbuster) gives Kash the title.

 

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t exactly bad, but dude no one cared at all. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a crowd beg for a match to end like that. This is what you get when you have no story to speak of and use guys that are just there instead of having characters or stories or anything like that. Just not interesting at all, but it was fine from a technical standpoint.

 

Lashley is on the website now.

 

Ad for the Rumble, which was the really weird Roman theme. No idea why they went with that but then again Mania never made a lot of sense with its ad campaigns.

 

We recap Kane/Big Show vs. Mysterio/Batista. They’re each show’s respective tag champions and this is supposed to be some big epic clash. A lot of this stemmed from Survivor Series and the fallout from the whole brand split war. Batista is world heavyweight champion and more or less unstoppable. He and Mysterio won the titles two days before this. Naturally it’s a non title match.

 

Batista/Rey Mysterio vs. Big Show/Kane

 

Rey has 619 cut into his beard. Batista vs. Show to start us off. Show throws him around a bit so Big Dave fires off right hands. Something resembling a shoulder block takes Show down but he gets up and hits what could be called a superkick that was pretty awesome all things considered. Off to Kane who Batista can work with a bit better. Sidewalk slam puts the Animal down and Kane goes up. He channels his inner Flair though and gets slammed down.

 

Off to Rey who stomps away and this a standing moonsault for one. Kane no sells some kicks so Rey tries to hit and run. A middle rope axehandle staggers Kane and Rey gets a springboard dropkick to send him to the floor. Batista takes his head off with a clothesline and Rey loads up the 619, only for Show to make the save. He rams Rey’s back (somewhat injured coming in) into the post.

 

Back in the ring and Show chops away at Rey. That sound makes me cringe. Kane comes in and Rey is able to get some shots in to set up the sitout bulldog. Show knocks Batista off the apron though to break up the tag. Batista pops back in and everything breaks down. Big Dave takes down the monsters and hits a spinebuster on Kane. Show and Batista fight to the floor and Rey hits the 619, only for Kane to catch the West Coast Pop and chokeslam Rey into dust to end it.

 

Rating: C. That’s it? This could have been the main event of any given Raw or Smackdown and there was nothing interesting going on for the most part. It’s not bad or anything, but there’s no appeal hear at all. The lack of anything being on the line really hurts this because in short, this changes nothing. MNM would get the titles back by the end of the year, making this whole title reign pretty pointless.

 

Video on Tribute to the Troops or whatever they’re calling it this year, which is the next night.

 

Another Cell moment is Shawn’s destruction by Taker. Still the best one ever.

 

The Cell is lowered.

 

The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton

 

This is the final blowoff from the Mania match. Taker of course won there, Orton won at Summerslam and this is the rubber match. Orton has his papa and Taker’s urn with him. Orton tries to run to start and Taker tries to close in on him. Taker gets a shoulder block and Orton heads to the floor. We get a headlock inside the Cell. Orton gets a hip toss and dropkick but can’t keep Taker down.

 

Taker hammers away and we go to the floor. He tries to harpoon Orton into the Cell but Orton escapes and takes over back inside the ring. Taker is like boy no you didn’t and grabs him by the throat, throwing him into the corner. Taker hammers away as they have a ton of time so the slow start is fine. Orton’s ribs go into the post and Taker keeps up the attack on the floor, mainly working on the ribs and chest.

 

The Deadman finds a chair and cracks Orton over the head with it. Orton is busted so Taker keeps pounding him with the chair. Taker rakes his face across the cage as Cole makes the cheese grater comparison. Orton finds a chain somewhere but gets his head rammed into the steps before he can use it. It’s so weird to see Cole as a face. Taker gets the chain and chokes away at Orton who is back in the ring now.

 

This time Taker is able to get the harpoon thing, sending Orton’s face into the cage. He gets the steps but Orton fights back out of desperation. There’s blood on one of the posts. Orton tries to get the steps but Taker kicks them back into his face. Back into the ring and there’s a chair in there. Orton grabs an “RKO” across the top rope but it’s more like just clotheslining him onto it. Close enough though.

 

It sent Taker to the floor into the cage though and Orton finally takes over. This time the steps show works. Now Orton gets to rake Taker’s face into the cage in a nice bit of evilness from earlier. Taker is busted open now and Orton chokes away with the chain. Big chair shot puts Taker down for two. Taker gets up again though and hammers away on the floor, firing off headbutts.

 

I love that look Taker gets on his face when he’s losing blood and he’s staggering around. Taker gets a running charge and climbs up the steps, hitting more or less a flying hip attack into Orton against the cage. Back in the ring now and Taker walks the ropes, only to miss an elbow. He must be fired up tonight to bust out moves like that. Orton grabs a table and sends Taker to the floor via a boot. Bob grabs Taker’s hair through the cage to hold him in place next to the wall.

 

Taker is like oh no you didn’t and rams Bob into the cage via a small hole in it. Taker drills Randy as Bob is bleeding (BIG issue here as Bob has Hepatitis, which is a disease transmitted by blood). Orton gets something resembling a powerslam to ram Taker into the Cell. Apparently you can pin people on the floor now as Randy gets two. Back in the ring and Taker gets his jumping clothesline for two. Old School hits this time, followed by a Downward Spiral.

 

Taker is getting all ticked off now and hits the Snake Eyes/Big Boot combo. Leg drop gets two. Chokeslam gets two due to a foot on the ropes. Taker gets a running knee in the corner but misses a running boot. Orton hits a low blow with the chain. He sets up the table brought in earlier and hits a splash mostly through it. That gets two as the table is thrown to the floor.

 

Orton, ever the genius, goes up for ten punches in the corner. DOES NO ONE WATCH TAPE OF TAKER MATCHES??? He deserves the Last Ride but gets out of it and Taker punches the referee by mistake. RKO out of nowhere but there’s no referee. Another referee opens the door to count and Bob comes in to get on our nerves. There’s the Last Ride to Randy but Bob makes the save.

 

Taker beats up Bob and rams him into the cage. Taker loads up the Tombstone on Randy which is reversed into one by Orton. Seriously, the guy never learns. That gets two and Taker sits up and is MAD. Orton keeps knocking him down and Taker keeps sitting up. After a bunch of punches Taker can’t sit up. He’s playing possum though and grabs Randy by the throat. Bob comes in again with the urn but Taker gets it, clocks both Ortons with it and a pair of Tombstones ends this.

 

Rating: A-. Now this is what the Cell is supposed to be. They beat the tar out of each other and this felt like a war. Taker going all insane and beating everyone down at the end as Orton just couldn’t stop him was perfect and showed that Taker is just better, which is the point of the final match of a feud. Well done and you NEVER get a decisive ending to a feud like this anymore, or at most maybe once a year.

 

Taker climbs the Cell to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: B+. Where in the world did this come from? With two great matches in the main event and Benoit vs. Booker plus a nice surprise in the tag match earlier in the show and the worst match being a three and a half minute squash, how can you really complain? I liked this and it worked rather well. Good show and worth checking out actually.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #84
Date: April 21, 1997
Location: Saginaw Civic Center, Saginaw, Michigan
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

We continue the marathon of shows between Spring Stampede and Slamboree and the big story tonight is the decision regarding the future of Eric Bischoff. Other than that, there isn’t much here as we’re heading towards Slamboree with a meaningless six man tag team main event. Nothing on the card looks like anything of note at all. Let’s get to it.

James J. Dillon arrives to open the show. He doesn’t really mean anything other than being a legend at this point.

Hogan is FINALLY out of the intro sequence.

US Title: Yuji Nagata vs. Dean Malenko

I think this is Nagata’s company debut so he doesn’t mean much yet. Dean takes him down to the mat and puts on a headlock. Yuji counters into a headscissors, followed by an enziguri and a chinlock. Reggie White is here again so let’s put the camera on him for about ten seconds. Dean hits a jawbreaker to escape the hold and suplexes Nagata down for two. We hit chinlock #3 in the third minute of the match, this one with Dean in control.

Nagata escapes and puts on a modified STF but after letting it go, Yuji walks into a leg lariat for two. Nagata tries some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip. The injury doesn’t last long as Yuji superkicks Dean down and hits an overhead belly to belly for two. Nagata misses another kick and Dean drops an elbow on the leg before throwing on the Cloverleaf to retain.

Rating: C. When they weren’t using the chinlocks this was a pretty fun match. Dean was on fire in 1997 and there was almost no one he couldn’t have a good match with. Nagata would come back later in the year and have an incredibly dull feud with Ultimo Dragon. I understand that these guys are Japanese legends and are incredibly talented, but it takes a lot more than a resume in another country and a six minute match on Nitro to get people to care about you, and most of the guys from other countries never got the chance to prove otherwise.

Glacier vs. Ciclope

Glacier’s entrance takes longer than the match as he kicks Ciclope in the head and pins him in about thirty seconds.

Post match Glacier does more of his posing stuff until Wrath (not yet named) comes out. The distraction lets Mortis come in and jump Glacier from behind. Mortis steals Glacier’s helmet which is like 700 years old or something. They try to injure Glacier’s eye as this goes on WAY too long. When the fans spent the entire match chanting GLACIER SUCKS, giving this whole beatdown nearly four minutes was a bad idea.

Tony tells us that JJ Dillon is the new head of the executive committee. This brings out Nick Patrick to give his reasons as to why he should be let back into WCW. This isn’t exactly Benoit and Mysterio from last week in the opening segments.

TV Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Bobby Eaton

Eaton pounds him down to start for a surprising early advantage. Dragon fires off the kicks though and Bobby has no idea what to do. You would think after hanging out with Stan Lane for so many years he would be familiar with martial arts. Sonny offers a quick distraction and Eaton gets dropkicked to the floor. Onoo kicks Eaton into the barricade and sends him back inside for the super rana and the Dragon Sleeper to keep the title in Japan.

Regal says he isn’t dating Sarah Ferguson and that he’ll get the TV Title back. He actually would, which makes you wonder what the point was in having Dragon win it in the first place at all, when Dragon would win it back a few weeks later.

Meng vs. Chris Jericho

Meng immediately clubbers him down and all of the fans look at something in the crowd, presumably a fight. Jericho and Meng chop it out with the savage taking over. Chris hits a middle rope dropkick but Meng won’t go down. Meng hits a belly to back suplex for one and then chokes a bit. The fans are finally sitting down. Now they look at something else. Geez what is going on over there?

Jericho hits a spinwheel kick but Meng won’t go down. An enziguri misses for the Canadian so he tries a standing Lionsault. Meng literally stands there while Jericho hits him and slides down Meng’s body. This is getting embarrassing in a hurry. The Canadian hits a German on the Tongan for two but a rana attempt is countered into a hot shot. Tongan Death Grip gets the win for Meng.

Rating: D-. Oh this was bad and the majority of that seems to be on Meng. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING here, as Jericho was hitting all kinds of kicks but Meng would just stare at him. I’m assuming this was the beginning of Meng push #84 which would likely wind up going nowhere at all.

Jimmy Hart says that was a message to Benoit, who faces Meng at Slamboree. Oh so there was a point to it. Sullivan and Jackie (about as close to falling out of a dress as you can be without being censored) come out to talk about Benoit too. When is the retirement match already? This time Sullivan rants about his kids and says something about sorority sisters for his daughter. Meng goes after Sullivan for no apparent reason but Jackie gets in his way. Meng speaks English and says that if it wasn’t for her, he would take both of them. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS STABLE?????

Video on Benoit.

Steiner Brothers vs. Public Enemy

Before the Steiners come out we cut to the back where the Steiners are fighting with the Dungeon of Doom. The Steiners are the hometown boys here and their dad is here. Rick and Grunge start with Grunge being powerslammed down almost immediately. Off to Rocco who grabs a headlock but Scott tags himself in. He picks up Rocco and throws him at Grunge out of a gorilla press in a scary power display. Back to Rick vs. Grunge after the Public Enemy bails to the floor for a bit. A double clothesline puts Rick down but Rocco misses a flip dive off the top. Not that it matters as Konnan/Morrus run in for the double DQ.

Hour #2 begins so we get the usual recap.

Here’s JJ for his introductory speech, which isn’t even good enough to put in the ring. Tony interrupts him to ask about Nick Patrick. JJ says he’ll consider the reinstatement. As for Bischoff, he has no authority but he still has a contract and he can still be around. JJ goes into a bunch of legal jargon and for some reason Mr. Wallstreet and Big Bubba are under contract to WCW instead of the NWO. Bischoff comes out and says bite me. Eric explains how great he is and how he doesn’t care what anyone else says.

JJ says Eric has made the center of the wrestling universe WCW instead of Stamford, Connecticut. Eric says bite me. JJ says this isn’t acceptable but Bischoff leaves. Since it’s JJ Dillon, he talks about shoes to close things out (old school fans will get that reference). Absolutely nothing was accomplished here, but thank goodness they got a wrestling guy to be the authority figure so that A, people know who he is and B, he knows how to talk in front of a live audience.

Scotty Riggs vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is a rematch from Saturday Night which the world was waiting for. Jarrett lost on Saturday and beat him up post match so we needed a second match. Riggs charges in and gets beaten down by Jeff. A swinging neckbreaker and release gutwrench suplex put Riggs down followed by the move that would eventually be called The Stroke.

Riggs gets in some quick offense but Jarrett backdrops him to the floor which isn’t a DQ because we’re not enforcing that rule right now. Time to look at Reggie White as Jeff misses an enziguri. Scotty’s top rope cross body gets two and here’s Mongo with the briefcase. White jumps the railing to stop him and Mongo runs away. Jeff takes out the knee and a quick Figure Four gets the submission win.

Rating: D+. This was barely above a squash and was pretty much here for the White vs. Mongo stuff. At the end of the day, I’m not sure who cared about White vs. McMichael but it’s something different than the Horsemen arguing over Debra which makes it a huge improvement. Well maybe not huge but it’s better at least.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Syxx is defending. Nash is the only NWO backup here so far. Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get an extended advantage. Rey takes him to the mat with a headlock and Syxx slaps the mat but it doesn’t count as a tap for no apparent reason. Back up and Rey slaps him in the face before headscissoring Syxx down. Syxx gets in a kick and drops that fast leg to take over.

More kicks in the corner set up the Bronco Buster which isn’t named yet. That would be Syxx hitting it as Rey hadn’t yet adopted the move. The champ hooks an abdominal stretch but gets caught holding the ropes. After Rey is sent to the floor for a second, Syxx misses another Bronco Buster back inside. A somewhat messed up West Coast pop gets two and a top rope rana sends the champ to the floor. Nash comes in and kills Rey with the Jackknife (which the referee somehow didn’t notice), allowing Syxx to put on the Buzz Kill for the easy win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending sucked. Seriously, how could the referee not notice Rey slamming into the mat two feet away from him? Syxx would hold the title for a few more months while Rey did his thing for the foreseeable future. Either way, this was fine but the ending was about what you expected.

Dillon comes out post match and yells but nothing comes of it. Rey is taken out on a stretcher.

Video on Luger.

Hogan is in a movie and we take a look at him on set.

Here’s the NWO again with something to say. Syxx talks about how Flair and Piper were out here last week talking about respect. He wants to know what kind of respect it is to rip off the Nature Boy gimmick from Buddy Rogers. Nash isn’t worried about Piper because he looked down the road the old guys paved and saw nothing but potholes.

He goes on a big rant about backstage politics, talking about how people’s kids were getting pushed and that was it. Then they went to New York where everyone was trying to get the business out of the funk the old guys left it in. Nash talks about how Piper and Flair are going to have to beat respect out of them because this is their generation now. Where do I even begin?

First and foremost, this is 1997. I’m writing this review in the year 2012 and odds are if you’re reading this, you knew what Nash was talking about. That being said, you’re probably in the minority of wrestling fans that got what Nash meant. Now imagine how small a percentage that was back in 1997. At the end of the day, most wrestling fans either A, didn’t get what Nash was talking about and/or B, don’t care what he’s talking about.

This was the period where the “real” stuff was brought into play more and more and it’s a big reason why things started to go downhill a few years later. Most of the fans, especially WCW fans, wanted to see Hogan get beaten up and the NWO get what was coming to them. The problem was that was the logic on paper.

Then you get promos like this one, where the NWO paints themselves to be the young guys who are being treated badly and make themselves the heroes. It all got way more confusing than it needed to be, and when you make things too confusing in something that’s supposed to be fun and mostly mindless entertainment, your audience is going to stop caring.

As if that’s not enough, listen to what he was talking about: people that took over the business and wouldn’t leave anything behind for anyone else. Nash’s boss in the NWO is HULK FREAKING HOGAN. So not only would most fans not have gotten what he meant, but the ones that did would see him as a hypocrite. Then on top of all THAT, this set up a totally meaningless six man tag which didn’t mean anything and was never mentioned again after Slamboree.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Psychosis

The luchador hits a dropkick and goes up, only to get pulled into a Diamond Cutter for the pin in less than a minute.

Savage pops up in the crowd and implies Kimberly is in love with him but nothing comes of it.

Here are Flair, Piper and Greene to close the show. They call out the NWO and Hall finally returns to stare at them. The B Team gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What a worthless show. From the Nash promo to the short (longest topped out at 6:01) and dull matches to JJ Dillon being treated as less than nothing on his first night as WCW boss, this was absolutely horrible. Slamboree would wind up being perhaps the most pointless show in the history of WCW which is saying a lot when you think about it. Terrible show tonight with absolutely nothing of value.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring really as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s rather freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

So there you have it: The History of Summerslam. For 23 years the show has served as the second biggest show of the year and I’d say it hasn’t disappointed very often. There have been some bad ones, but there’s also been some great ones. It’s a great pairing to go with Mania as it’s about 4 months later and things have changed a decent amount in between.

Complete with the Survivor Series and the Rumble, you could almost see this as the beginning of the WWE year. Think about it. Of the four major shows, Mania is the end of the year, so this could be the beginning as Backlash is usually the epilogue with the Mania rematches. This is the first big show of the year, so it’s a big benchmark if you look at it that way. I’ll be back with Survivor Series starting around Halloween, so until then…..um….dangI need a catchphrase.

I’ll be back tomorrow with this year’s show hopefully as soon as it ends.  Thanks for reading.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 17, 2012
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the final show before Summerslam and the main topic is Del Rio wanting an explanation from Booker as to why he lost his title match against Sheamus. My guess would be because no one wants to see that match and Booker is trying to spare us from having to sit through it, but I’d be stunned if the match didn’t wind up being back on by the end of the show with no changes at all. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Del Rio talking about how he’s going to win the title at Summerslam mixed with clips of the car saga with Sheamus.

Here’s Del Rio in the arena minus his car. He wants the title back now because Sheamus needs to be punished for destroying Del Rio’s car. That’s a good point. Del Rio says he’s not leaving until he gets his title match back. That brings out Booker who wants to know why Del Rio has been a thorn in his side since he became GM. Booker talks about how what Del Rio did last week was crossing a line and that won’t be tolerated. Del Rio mentions the scariest thing in WWE: lawyers.

Thank goodness here’s Jericho of all people to interrupt by asking Del Rio to shut up. Jericho rips him apart, saying no one cares about anything Del Rio says. Del Rio yells in Spanish but Jericho comes back with Spanish of his own. Jericho says that after he beats Ziggler on Sunday, maybe he’ll take Del Rio’s spot in the main event and win the world title. Booker makes Jericho vs. Del Rio for the main event tonight. This would be a perfect example of people with charisma vs. a person with absolutely no charisma at all.

Cody Rhodes/The Miz vs. Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio

Cody says he wants to expose Sin Cara’s face and he has a picture of him unmasked. It’s a drawing which looks like an alien. Cody and Cara start us off but both heels are quickly sent to the floor. The masked men take out their respective rivals with dives before we head back inside. Cody kicks Cara in the head to take over and it’s off to Miz. After the champ does nothing at all it’s back to Cody who goes for the mask.

Miz comes back in but Cara kicks him in the leg a few times to get a breather. Back to Cody who gets taken down as well. Hot tag brings in Rey for some headscissors followed by a kick to the head of Cody for two. The sitout bulldog gets two as Miz makes the save. Cara clotheslines Miz to the floor but tries to skin the cat. Cody goes for the mask but it puts him in 619 position. That and the top rope splash from Rey get the pin at 4:22.

Rating: C+. Nothing great here but it gave us some hype for both feuds, although I don’t think Cody vs. Cara has been announced for Summerslam. Rey vs. Miz is as tacked on as it gets, but just having the title defended at Summerslam is a step up for the belt in recent months. Also it’s good to have Cody lose here instead of Rey beating the champ again. Decent match here.

Rey takes out Miz post match.

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks vs. ???/???

Reks and Hawkins come to the ring in suits which they remove while dancing. Just what we needed: male strippers. Hawkins starts with Jobber A and it’s quickly off to Reks. Apparently Reks and Hawkins’ mission is to trend worldwide. Not to win matches or championships, but to trend on Twitter. Jobber B comes in and gets his head kicked in by Reks before a powerslam/sliding neckbreaker combo gets the pin at 1:37. I don’t see this gimmick lasting long.

Long recap of Punk’s title reign. By entire reign I mean we skip everything from Survivor Series up to Raw 1000.

Regal wishes Eve luck in her match tonight but she says she doesn’t need it. Regal reminisces about being in charge of Raw but now he’s in charge of taking out the trash.

Wade Barrett is coming back.

Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres

The winner is Booker’s assistant. Eve takes her to the mat immediately and hooks an armbar. Kaitlyn backdrops her down and hits a shoulder block for two. A small package gets one for Kaitlyn but Eve gets up and hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza for the pin and the job at 2:15. It’s a swinging suplex but I don’t think it has an official name other than that.

Eve comes in to see Booker and says she has a lot of ideas. Booker wants to know if she and Teddy can get along. Eve says yes and that’s it. I have no idea what the point in 45 seconds being spent on this was.

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

Feeling out process to start with Orton taking Bryan down with a shoulder block. A clothesline gets two on Daniel and he bails to the floor. He argues with a fan using only two words over and over again before walking back into another clothesline. Orton stomps away a bit but misses a knee drop. Bryan kicks the knee out (not the one that missed but whatever) and goes after it like a heel submission master would.

Orton pounds away to come back but Bryan kicks the knee out again. He shouts NO a lot and goes up, only to get crotched and superplexed. We take a break and come back with Orton pounding Bryan in the head but Bryan takes the knee out again. That may sound familiar if you’re paying attention. Bryan misses a charge into the corner and gets rolled up for two. Orton fires up his finishing sequence but the knee slows him down again.

The Elevated DDT is escaped and they head to the floor with Bryan being sent into the barricade. Back inside and Bryan bails immediately. Orton can’t stand up because of the knee so he rolls to the floor where Bryan whips him into the steps knee first. Back in and Bryan fires off the NO Kicks but Orton ducks the big one and hits his backbreaker for two.

The knee keeps him from following up so Bryan climbs the corner, only to get caught in the Elevated DDT. RKO is countered into the NO Lock, which makes little sense given the amount of leg work done so far. Here’s Kane….or at least his music for the most overdone way to end a match in the WWE today. Bryan bails to the floor before coming back in for an RKO and the pin at 10:48 shown of 14:18.

Rating: B-. I was digging this one until the ending brought it down. Orton was selling the knee very well here and it gave us a nice story for the match. One thing that I touched on in the match though which drives me crazy: why would Bryan go for the NO Lock? He’s a submission master and he knows a few dozen submissions he could use on the leg, but instead he uses a shoulder hold, simply because it’s his finisher. I can’t stand it when people who are known to use multiple submissions use one that makes no sense in the current match because it goes against Bryan’s character in a lot of ways. Good match though.

Kane pops up on the stage post match and smiles.

Santino is out for commentary.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Zach Ryder

Antonio immediately throws Ryder down with the gutwrench suplex. Ryder is in red/orange here instead of the usual purple. Santino talks about his training for the match Sunday as Ryder makes a well received comeback. Broski Boot gets two but Cesaro hot shots him and the Neutralizer gets the pin at 1:30.

Santino gets shoved post match.

Long recap of Lesnar vs. HHH. Shawn won’t be at Summerslam because of his broken arm. We get some fans’ tweets on the match.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Chris Jericho

They have a lot of time for this. After Del Rio’s entrance we cut to the back where Ziggler is destroying Jericho. After a break Del Rio wants Booker to come out here and say the title match is back on, but here’s a hobbling Jericho instead, who says ring the bell. Del Rio immediately kicks him in the ribs for two as Jericho is in trouble early. Alberto chokes in the corner and kicks Jericho out to the apron.

Del Rio loads up the armbreaker (more acceptable here because that’s his only submission hold) but Jericho escapes into an enziguri. They head to the apron again and Jericho is knocked into the announce table as we take a break. Back with Del Rio holding Jericho in a body scissors followed by a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. A middle rope double stomp misses for Del Rio and Jericho makes a quick comeback.

Chris hits the bulldog and Lionsault but can’t cover immediately because of the ribs. Del Rio tries the Codebreaker on the arm but Jericho counters into the Walls. Del Rio kicks him off into the ropes which are being pulled down by Ziggler. Dolph throws Jericho back in and a big kick to the head from Alberto gets the pin at 6:13 shown of 9:43.

Rating: C. This was fine. Jericho being injured going into the PPV wasn’t really needed as you could have just had the ending here to add more heat to Jericho vs. Ziggler but it’s not that big of a deal. Del Rio looks a bit stronger, but he doesn’t have a match on Sunday now. Oh who am I kidding. You know what’s coming.

Post match Sheamus runs out and beats up Del Rio, chasing him off into the crowd. Booker comes out and Sheamus begs him to put the match back on the card for Sunday. He doesn’t care about the arm injury and eventually Booker agrees, making the last week’s worth of developments totally pointless.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did a good job at building up a lot of the matches for Sunday, but the problem is that most of them have barely gotten any build at all leading up to tonight’s show. Look at Miz vs. Mysterio for example. There was a match a week ago and now they have a rematch on Sunday. That’s not exactly making me want to buy the show for it but it’s certainly better than an unannounced match.

As for the world title, at the end of the day Del Rio is not interesting at all and he drags it way down. Sheamus showing emotion helps him a lot, as does having him in street clothes for some reason. Anyway, good show tonight and a good build for Summerslam, but what they’re building to doesn’t look all that interesting.

Results

Sin Cara/Rey Mysterio b. Cody Rhodes/The Miz – Top rope splash to Rhodes

Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks b. ???/??? – Poweslam/Neckbreaker combination

Eve Torres b. Kaitlyn – Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza

Randy Orton b. Daniel Bryan – RKO

Antonio Cesaro b. Zach Ryder – Neutralizer

Alberto Del Rio b. Chris Jericho – Kick to the head

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: August 10, 2012
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

We’ve got this and one more show before Summerslam so we’re likely in the final push stretch now. Sheamus and Del Rio actually had something happen on Raw as Sheamus stole Del Rio’s car and drove it around San Antonio while TOUTING about it. You know, about the felony he was committing. Hopefully we get a follow up on that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is all the dust I inhaled pulling up carpet yesterday. Annoying stuff.

Here’s Booker to open the show, drawing a triple legend/hometown boy/legend pop. He’s even in a tuxedo tonight which is a new look for him. Booker sucks up to the Houston crowd but says they have a problem. We get a clip from Raw of Sheamus stealing Del Rio’s car. My goodness we’re actually getting a follow up on it. Booker says Sheamus crossed the line and needs to apologize for it. That’s quite an expensive apology.

Here’s the champ who doesn’t look as jovial as he usually does. He talks about Del Rio trying to take his dignity, so he took his car in exchange. Sheamus talks about how fun Monday was, but now he has to face reality. He apologizes to Booker and much faster to Del Rio.

Here are Del Rio and Ricardo who are mad. Del Rio has filed charges with the San Antonio police department but Booker says if Sheamus is put in jail, the title will be held up. Del Rio says that he doesn’t care and the champion reflects on Booker. Sheamus says chill because he’ll defend the title tonight. Del Rio says ok and that’s that. This was an odd segment. Del Rio apparently cares about his cars more than the title, Sheamus couldn’t be bailed out in the nine days before Summerslam, and I guess Del Rio is dropping the charges? The segment probably made sense but it wasn’t the best delivery of their message.

Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes

What the heck happened to Cody? He was on fire and now he’s forgotten enough to be put into a match with Sin Cara? Before the match Cody talks about knowing what it’s like to wear a mask. He knows why Sin Cara wears a mask: he’s ugly. Cody says there’s nothing special about Sin Cara and that’s it. We get the mood lighting and Cara gets a quick rollup for two. Cody gets sent to the floor but he blocks a baseball slide.

Rhodes goes for the mask and they head back in. Cara’s dive is caught by a dropkick to the ribs for two, followed by a release gordbuster for two for Cody. Cody puts Cara in a Gory Stretch and reaches for the mask again but Cara escapes. Sin hits the Tajiri elbow followed by the corner walk armdrag. A big kick to the face sets up a springboard crossbody for two. Cody goes for the mask again but Cara kicks him in the head and small packages Cody for the pin at 3:51.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad and we even had a story going throughout it. Considering this was just a four minute match that’s pretty impressive, as you’ll often see matches more than twice this long with barely any story to it at all. Cara and Rhodes are part of a large group of guys that have nothing to do most of the time and are only put in random matches to keep them on TV. That’s fine for awhile but it gets old after awhile. Hopefully this is the start of a feud.

Wade Barrett is returning. I think this is the same video from Raw.

We get a recap of Daniel Bryan’s plights from Raw 1001.

Here’s Bryan for a chat. He says NO and the fans chant YES, much to his dismay. Bryan says he belongs in the WWE Championship match at Summerslam but instead he has to face Kane. He blames AJ for not being in the title match and shouts NO, that’s not right. He deserves to be treated better than he’s being treated by a “skipping, Chucks wearing, power suit wearing broad.” Cue Kane but before he can do anything AJ comes out. Why is she even in the building? Why am I bothering to think about things like this?

She says this is where she and Bryan first met and she’s here because Booker invited her. Maybe I need to learn to be more patient with my questions. Anyway, she says we can’t have Bryan and Kane coming out here all the time. She looks at Kane and says they haven’t had a chance to talk lately but it’s good to see him. AJ appreciates how sweet and understanding Kane was while others treated her miserably.

As for Bryan, she knows he’s always been jealous of Kane and upset that he’s never been able to pin Kane one on one. If Bryan is as sane as he claims, he should prove it, starting tonight by shaking Kane’s hand. “NO!” AJ insists so Bryan puts his hand out, only to get punched in the face. The fight is on but Bryan can’t hook the NO Lock. Kane kicks him to the floor and Bryan runs. This was a very forced attempt to try to make the people care about this match at the PPV but it only slightly worked. AJ looks very happy on the stage.

Booker and Teddy are in the back when Hawkins and Reks come in. They want a shot on Smackdown but Booker tells them to step it up. Booker says they couldn’t beat Ryback on Raw in a handicap match so they’re not A+ talents, which is what Booker wants.

Jinder Mahal vs. ???/???

No names for the jobbers. Apparently this is to prove that he can beat two guys like Ryback can. A clothesline and spinebuster put Jobber A down and the camel clutch gets the tap at 40 seconds.

Post match Mahal puts both guys in the clutch until Ryback comes out. Mahal runs so Ryback beats up the dead jobbers. That’s not nice.

It’s time for the Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho. Before he can say much though, here’s Vickie to interrupt. For some reason Dolph can’t be here so Jericho says he’ll interview Dolph’s mother again. They get in an EXCUSE ME shouting match until Jericho gives up. She says that if Jericho insults her again she’s gone. Jericho says go then but calls her back before she leaves.

We get a clip of the Ziggler vs. Riley match on Monday with Jericho costing Dolph the match. Jericho says that the knock on him is that he can’t win the big one but apparently Ziggler can’t win the little one. Jericho makes fun of Vickie’s hair so she yells about how great Ziggler is.

Chris says his legacy stands on his own but Ziggler got to him by saying that he hasn’t won any big matches lately. Maybe it’s time to bring back Y2J. Ziggler vs. Jericho is set for Summerslam and Jericho will prove that he hasn’t lost his touch. Ziggler runs in from behind but the case shot misses. Vickie slaps Jericho and when he goes after her, Dolph hits the Zig Zag on Jericho. Ziggler hits him in the head with the briefcase to leave Jericho laying. Vickie throws in an evil laugh and says who’s your mother now.

We recap the opening segment.

Kofi and Truth come out for commentary.

Prime Time Players vs. Primo/Epico

Still no Rosa. This is a #1 contenders match. Epico and Young start us off but it’s quickly off to Titus. Truth goes on an anti-spider rant before making horse noises. Off to Primo and everything breaks down. AW throws a drink at the tag champs and the match is thrown out at 1:44.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Christian

Aksana should always wear barely there leather dresses. Cesaro does the victory in five different languages thing. Cesaro grabs a headlock to start but gets sent over the top and out to the floor. Christian misses a baseball slide and Cesaro sends him into the steps to take over. Back into the ring and it’s chinlock time in a hurry as Christian is in trouble. Gutwrench suplex gets two for Antonio. He goes up but jumps into Christian’s boot to start the Canadian comeback.

They trade some counters and Christian hits the sunset flip out of the corner for two. Cesaro jumps into a bridging fallaway slam for two. The Killswitch is countered by some headbutts to the back but Christian counters a slam into the reverse DDT. The spear is countered into Christian being launched into the air and landing on a European Uppercut for two. The Neutralizer is countered and Christian hits the spear for the quick pin at 4:08.

Rating: C+. The match itself was pretty good as they were countering almost everything the other guy threw, but I’m not sure on the ending. I’m not sure why Cesaro would lose this early, but maybe it’ll start something for him. Not a bad match at all as Cesaro actually got to do more than two moves for a change.

Post match Cesaro jumps Christian so apparently this isn’t over, which is a good thing.

Raw ReBound.

Eve goes to see Booker again but she gets turned down for a job. Kaitlyn comes in and asks for a job as well. Booker gives her one so Eve yells. Booker makes a match between them next week with the winner getting the job.

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

Non-title here. Miz takes him into the corner to start and kicks Rey in the ribs to take over. Rey tries to speed things up coming out of the corner but gets caught in a backbreaker and sent to the floor. Off to a chinlock by Miz but Rey comes back with some kicks to the legs. Miz sends Mysterio to the corner and hits the running clothesline but his top rope ax handle is countered by a dropkick.

A kick to Miz’s head gets two and Rey goes up. Miz tries a superplex but Rey counters into a sunset bomb which Miz counters with a right hand. A big boot puts Rey down for two but Mysterio headscissors him from the mat into 619 position. The feet get caught by Miz and he loads up the Finale, but Rey rolls through for the pin at 4:47.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, the wrestling was fine but I don’t get the idea here. Cole spent the whole match talking about how Miz had gotten better with his aggressiveness and it was translating into success….and then he loses clean. What’s the point of it? To set up Mysterio vs. Miz for the title? Well maybe, but why have Rey get a pin this quickly? I’m not wild on these champions losing all the time though.

BE A STAR!

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus

Sheamus is defending in case you’re reading this 89 years from now for some reason. We only have about five minutes left so I don’t see this going long or going at all. We get big match intros to kill some of that time.

Before the bell, the cops come out to arrest Sheamus. Del Rio says he never filed the report and that he wants the title match now. The cops jump Sheamus on Del Rio’s orders so I guess they’re lackeys. Del Rio gets sent into the corner by Sheamus but the numbers catch up with Sheamus. Alberto kicks Sheamus in the head and sends the lackeys away. The cross armbreaker ends the show. No match obviously.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a very odd show. They were trying some new stuff out there and that’s certainly a good thing, but a lot of the stuff wasn’t clicking at all. I don’t get the idea of having Cesaro and Miz both lose here but as I said more than once, maybe they’re doing something for the future. Now that stuff is all questionable but we can wait and see on it. What makes no sense is the ending.

Del Rio had what he wanted: a world title match. If he had these guys on his payroll, why would he have them jump Sheamus and waste a shot at the title? Why not cheat and try to get the belt tonight instead? I guess the idea is that he wants to hurt Sheamus before the match at Summerslam, but why not jump Sheamus earlier when no one could see, and then have an advantage in the title match tonight? Now Sheamus has 9 days to recover. I don’t get this but I guess I don’t understand WWE logic anymore.

Results

Sin Cara b. Cody Rhodes – Small Package

Jinder Mahal b. ???/??? – Camel Clutch

Primo/Epico vs. Prime Time Players went to a no contest when Kofi Kingston and R-Truth interfered

Christian b. Antonio Cesaro – Spear

Rey Mysterio b. The Miz – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: July 27, 2012
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Booker T, Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

With Raw 1000 over now we can actually start building towards Summerslam and we’ll begin that with finding a new #1 contender. There’s a fourway tonight and the winner gets Sheamus at the PPV. Other than that it’s hard to say what we’ll get tonight as things will have to be reset from MITB but we had a throwaway show last week. Hopefully things pick up from last week. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long video about Raw 1000, which I believe is the same one from NXT.

Do You Know Your Enemy? Mine is the distance to my nearest movie theater.

Here’s Miz to open the show. Miz says he’s the new face of the IC Title and he’d love to thank every one of Christian’s fans, because they voted for him to defend the belt on Monday. He gets ready to say his catchphrase and here’s Christian. Christian says he’s using his rematch clause tonight so here we go.

Intercontinental Title: Christian vs. The Miz

Miz hits a quick slam and punches away in the corner. Christian sends him to the apron but charges into a shoulder to the ribs. Miz gets knocked to the floor and a baseball slide takes him out. Back in and the champ punches Christian right back down and hits the corner clothesline. Top rope double ax gets two and we hit the chinlock. Christian fights out of it quickly and hits a flapjack, causing Miz to roll to the apron. For the second time though Christian charges at Miz on the apron and again it goes badly for him as Miz backdrops Christian to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Miz still in control but Christian fires off some right hands. A cradle gets two for Christian but the Reality Check gets two for Miz. Another corner clothesline runs into a boot to the face from Christian. He loads up what was probably the frog splash but Miz gets up before Christian can jump. They fight on the top with Miz getting knocked down, but the splash hits knees for two.

Christian comes back again by knocking Miz backwards and hitting a missile dropkick from the middle rope. Christian makes his comeback and slams Miz’s back into the top rope. A cross body gets two as does the reverse DDT. The sunset flip out of the corner is countered by Miz but a big kick to the face misses as well and Christian rolls him up for two.

A middle rope back elbow puts Miz down but the Killswitch is countered into the short DDT for two. Miz goes up but gets slammed off the middle rope. Christian sets for the spear but Miz bails. Back in and both finishers are countered but Miz pokes Christian in the eye and rolls him up to retain at 10:38 shown of 14:08. He had some tights in the rollup too.

Rating: B-. This worked well as they had time to get things going. The idea here that Christian was 100% tonight and Miz still beat him (albeit with cheating) is fine. It makes Miz look good as he gets another victory over a pretty big name and lets him get some more relevance, which he’s been lacking horribly since losing the title last year.

Ryback vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal gets in some shots but runs into a big boot to the chest. Ryback suplexes him to the apron but Mahal gets a knee to the head of Ryback to take over. A jumping knee to the head actually gets one as Mahal is in control. Mahal works on the back with knees and an elbow followed by the camel clutch. Ryback will have none of that though and hits the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder to escape. A spinebuster puts Mahal down but he ducks the clothesline. Mahal bails and takes the countout loss at 2:45. Nice to see them give Ryback something that isn’t just a 90 second squash.

We watch the end of Raw, and now it’s time to TOUT IT OUT BABY!

Bryan is in the back and looking sad when Sheamus comes in with a present. Sheamus lists off everything that happened to Bryan on Raw but Bryan yells about AJ not being done with him and about Rock being gone for six months and how no one cares about Charlie Sheen. Sheamus hands him the gift and says it was for Bryan’s wedding night and leaves. Bryan complains about the wrapping job and opens the gift. He slams it down and leaves. The camera shows us that it was a book with a picture of Sheamus kicking Bryan at Mania. The title: How to Last More Than 18 Seconds.

Sheamus vs. Cody Rhodes

Non-title. Feeling out process for the first minute or so. Sheamus has a big black eye. A big shot to the chest puts Cody down for two and they fight over arm control. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Cody down for another two. Cody escapes the ten forearms in the ropes but after a chase, Cody gets caught in them anyway while standing in the ring. They both go to the apron and Sheamus is sent into the post. That gets a 9 count on the floor…and here’s Ziggler.

We take a break and come back with Cody working on the arm that went into the post. A dropkick gets two on Sheamus and a running knee to the head gets the same. Cody tries a full nelson which is quickly broken up. A dropkick to the knee slows Sheamus down but he puts Cody down with a backdrop.

Sheamus hits a knee lift and powerslam but a charge into the corner misses. Cody misses a moonsault press off the top and the Irish Curse gets two. Sheamus gets sent to the floor to give Cody a breather. Back in the Disaster Kick gets two but an attempt at a second one is caught in mid air into White Noise. Brogue Kick ends this at 9:38 shown of 13:08.

Rating: C. This was a good TV match and another win for Sheamus. Cody is still in limbo but he can still put on some decent matches like this one. He desperately needs a feud or a character change soon though as he’s floundering where he is now. Either way this was fine and Sheamus being on TV every week is a good way for him to stay over like he does.

Ziggler thinks about cashing in but backs away. Chris Jericho runs out and throws Ziggler in and Dolph gets a Brogue Kick. His head looked like the mannequin on Conan. Jericho is wearing a Ziggler shirt for some reason. Sheamus leaves and Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Ziggler.

Santino Marella vs. Antonio Cesaro

No entrance for Cesaro. Cesaro immediately takes him to the mat and smacks Santino in the head. Gutwrench suplex puts Santino down and it’s off to a chinlock. Santino makes his comeback with the usual stuff and he survives an Aksana distraction. The Cobra is countered into a hot shot and the Neutralizer gets the pin at 2:07. Basically a squash.

We get the HHH/Stephanie/Heyman segment from Monday. I’m still impressed by Stephanie in that dress.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Damien Sandow

Sandow attacks immediately and sends Tatsu to the floor. Back in and a Russian legsweep puts Tatsu down followed by some elbows. Sandow fires off the knees to the chest and the neckbreaker gets the pin at 1:16.

Sandow says that he is the martyr of everyone that was glad he got beat up on Monday. It didn’t air on this video I’m watching but apparently HHH came out and Pedigreed him. That may have just been for the live crowd.

Kane vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio

Winner gets the shot at Sheamus at Summerslam. Kane and Del Rio are sent to the floor. Bryan hits the suicide shove on Kane an\d Rey hits the seated senton on Del Rio. Back in and it’s Rey vs. Bryan with Rey being taken off the top so Bryan can take over. Kane is sent into the steps as Bryan fires away the kicks to Rey. Rey takes Bryan down and loads up 619, but Del Rio breaks it up because why would you want one of the four people in the match to take a finishing move?

Kane comes back in and takes down Del Rio before hitting the top rope clothesline on Bryan for no cover. The smaller guys escape the double chokeslam but they can’t escape a double suplex. Everyone is down as we take a break. Back with Del Rio stomping down Bryan in the corner. Bryan comes back and fires off kicks of his own in the opposite corner but Del Rio kicks him in the arm to break the momentum.

The cross armbreaker goes on but Mysterio breaks it up. Kane comes back in and cleans house, getting two off a clothesline to Rey. He charges into some boots from Rey in the corner but Rey counters a powerslam into a DDT to put both guys down. Del Rio comes back in and beats them both down before focusing solely on Kane. A Backstabber gets two as Bryan is back in with kicks. There’s the LeBell Lock on Del Rio but Kane makes the save.

Bryan is sent to the floor and Del Rio hits a Codebreaker on the arm. That gets two as does the chokeslam with Rey making the save. Bryan sends Kane into the crowd, leaving Del Rio and Rey in the ring. A kick to the head gets two for Rey but Bryan breaks up the 619. Rey hits a 12 2 18 on Bryan and Del Rio and the top rope splash gets two on Bryan. Ricardo pulls Rey to the floor and Del Rio steals the pin on Bryan at 9:45 shown of 13:15.

Rating: B-. This started off slow but after the commercial break it got much better. They picked the pace way up and never let there be the same two guys in there for very long at all. The ending was a nice touch too as Del Rio came out of nowhere to steal the pin. This was a good TV main event which is the right idea, and it sets up a match later on which is the more important thing.

Overall Rating: B. With three matches that went over ten minutes each and were all good, it’s hard to call this anything but good. This was a very wrestling heavy show and a lot of stuff was addressed. We had a title match, a furthering of Jericho vs. Ziggler, a world title announced for the PPV, and two matches with upcoming midcarders. That’s a good use of two hours and makes this one of the better Smackdowns in a long time.

Results

The Miz b. Christian – Rollup

Ryback b. Jinder Mahal via countout

Sheamus b. Cody Rhodes – Brogue Kick

Antonio Cesaro b. Santino Marella – Gotch Style Neutralizer

Damien Sandow b. Yoshi Tatsu – Double Arm Neckbreaker

Alberto Del Rio b. Daniel Bryan, Rey Mysterio and Kane – Del Rio pinned Bryan after a splash from Mysterio

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Smackdown
Date: July 20, 2012
Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews, Booker T

It’s just after MITB and the only major change is that Ziggler is the MITB case holder for this show. Other than that we’re just in a holding pattern tonight as everything is likely to be shoved forward on Monday at the 1000th Raw. I’d be surprised if we found out anything about Summerslam tonight but it’s possible. Let’s get to it.

Do you know your enemy? Mine is currently Pandora charm bracelets.

Here’s the freshly returned Rey Mysterio to open things up. We’re in his hometown tonight so you know the pop is big. We get a quick recap of Alberto injuring him in this arena a year ago but now he’s back here with his family. He couldn’t wait for tonight to get back which is why he was there on Raw, and Alberto being there just made the whole thing sweeter.

Cue Alberto who calls Rey a chihuahua and says that Rey is back, only to get hurt again. Alberto says that he could hurt Rey all over again but instead he’ll just let Rey leave. Rey says no way so Alberto says whatever and starts talking about Sheamus. Rey says that at MITB, Sheamus beat up Del Rio. Del Rio says that he’ll be the next world champion, and here’s Ziggler.

Dolph talks about winning the case and about how he was going to cash in on Sunday which would make him the World Heavyweight Champion right now. Del Rio says that he’s loco and challenges Dolph for a fight right now, along with his burra (female donkey) Vickie. Rey says get it on right now but Dolph suggests he and Del Rio team up against Rey. Cue Sheamus and I think I know where this is going. Sheamus says that if Ziggler takes another step towards Rey, the briefcase is going up his trunk and he’ll drive Dolph into the Pacific Ocean. Del Rio runs so Ziggler gets an ax handle to the face and almost a 619.

After a break the tag match is announced. If you don’t know what I mean, go read something else.

Prime Time Players/Hunico/Camacho vs. Primo/Epico/Kofi Kingston/R-Truth

Hunico and Epico get things going with things moving very quickly. Hunico slams him face first into the mat but is quickly pulled down into an armbar. Off to Primo for a dropkick and more armbaring, this time on Camacho. A blind tag brings in Truth for some gyrations and a spinning legdrop. Everything breaks down and we take a break. Back with Kofi getting tagged in to beat on Camacho. The Boom Drop hits but Hunico breaks up Trouble in Paradise, allowing Camacho to hit a spinebuster on the flippy Jamaican.

Off to Hunico with a slingshot hilo for two. Titus comes in and slams Kofi down for two before hooking an abdominal stretch. Young comes in but Kofi takes him down with a shot to the face. Hot tag brings in Primo who cleans house. A spinning flip dive off the top takes down Darren and everything breaks down. Titus knocks Primo off the top into the gutbuster from Young for the pin at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. This was fine when you consider how many people were in it. The tag division is actually growing a bit here with four teams to fight each other which is a nice change of pace. Also it’s nice to see at least some of them on TV almost every week. This wasn’t a great match or anything but at least it’s better than nothing.

Big Show comes out post match and cleans house on everyone but the Players. He leaves them all laying with punches and chokeslams before asking for a mic. He says “and what” and leaves.

Jeremy Piven was on Raw once.

We get a LONG recap of Cena’s path to MITB and his promo on Monday, announcing that he’s cashing in at Raw 1000.

Don’t be a bully.

Damien Sandow vs. Zach Ryder

Sandow yells during Ryder’s entrance about how stupid it is so Ryder charges into the ring and it’s on. Ryder pounds him down but Sandow gets in a shot to the head and takes over. Sandow puts Ryder on the apron to drop an elbow as the fans cheer for Zach. Back in and Sandow fires in knees to the ribs, followed by the double arm neckbreaker for the pin at 1:25. Basically a squash.

Time for the Peep Show with Bryan and AJ as the guests. Christian talks about the situation and we get a clip of the proposal from Monday. Here are AJ and Bryan with AJ now in a Bryan top. There’s a ring now on her finger now too. Christian asks about the wedding planning and we get a video of the pair going to various places set to classical music. I miss little videos like this one. Christian asks if Bryan is serious and if AJ has forgiven Bryan for what he did, both of which receive a yes answer.

Christian asks the fans if they think this is true love or if AJ knows what she’s doing. The fans say no, so Christian asks AJ if she knows what she’s doing. That earns Christian a slap and the marriage participants go to leave, but Christian says hang on a sec. Apparently Bryan has a match tonight and it’s with AJ’s psycho ex-boyfriend.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

We start the match after a break so that the set can be cleared out. Bryan fires off some YES kicks but Kane knees him in the ribs to break that up. Kane kicks him down for two and puts on a bodyscissors. A backbreaker hits Bryan and Kane bends Bryan’s spine over the knee. Bryan finally gets up and does the backflip out of the corner before taking out Kane’s knee. Here are more kicks but Kane grabs him by the throat.

Chokeslam is broken up and there’s a BIG kick to the head for two. Bryan goes up but jumps into an uppercut for two. Side slam gets two for Kane and the big man goes up, only to jump into a YES Lock attempt. Kane escapes and they head to the floor with Kane accidentally knocking AJ over. Kane goes off on Bryan and sends him into the announce table. Back inside and Kane loads up the chokeslam but AJ jumps on him, drawing the DQ at 5:13.

Rating: C+. I was getting into this one by the end. The ending is annoying but there’s no need to have Bryan get a win before the wedding as that is likely going to end in chaos. These two have some chemistry together and it was here again, which is always a nice thing to see. AJ still being psycho is a good thing too as it’ll play into the wedding on Monday.

AJ stays on Kane’s back and rips at his face. Bryan charges at Kane but gets chokeslammed with AJ still on Kane’s back. AJ gets down in Kane’s face like she’s about to kiss him and gives him the freaky look. Kane looks confused and Bryan pulls AJ out to the floor. Bryan and AJ kiss on the stage.

Here’s Slater again and he has a new legend to face, which is the first time he’s done that on Smackdown. We get a quick video about Heath’s experiences against legends.

Heath Slater vs. Animal

Yes of the Road Warriors. Animal looks OLD. He isn’t fat but he has no muscle definition at all. The match runs 45 seconds and Animal wins with a powerslam and elbow drop.

Ricardo and Vickie are arguing in the back and Vickie screams a lot.

We run down the stuff for Raw 1000.

Alberto Del Rio/Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio/Sheamus

During Dolph’s entrance we get a clip from Monday with the Codebreaker to Ziggler. Ziggler and Sheamus start things off and the champ runs him over with a shoulder block. Ziggler goes after Sheamus’ arm which I guess is still injured. Sheamus picks him up and hits a quick Regal Roll for two. The fans want Rey and here he is, hitting a slingshot legdrop for two. Rey is in a t-shirt here which is a different look for him.

Ziggler takes Rey’s head off with a clothesline for two and it’s off to Del Rio. Rey rolls away from Alberto and tags in Sheamus, sending Del Rio to the floor in fear. Ziggler gets caught in the ropes with the ten forearms and is sent to the floor. Sheamus goes out after him but gets dropkicked coming back in as we take a break. Back with Ziggler getting thrown off Sheamus and there’s the tag to Mysterio.

Rey kicks Dolph in the face for two and it’s 619 time. Del Rio kicks Mysterio in the back to break that up though and comes in with a chinlock. Back to Ziggler for some rope choking and an armbar. Alberto comes back in and works on the arm again but allows Rey to get close to a tag. That doesn’t connect though and Rey gets sent into the corner. Rey backdrops Del Rio to the floor but Ziggler comes in and breaks up the tag to Sheamus.

Ziggler picks up Rey but gets caught in a spinning DDT to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Sheamus and Del Rio comes in again. Sheamus cleans house on everyone, including sending Del Rio into Ziggler, knocking Ziggler into the announce table. White Noise takes down Del Rio but Ricardo breaks up the Brogue Kick for the DQ at 9:46 shown of 13:46.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here, especially with an ending like that. That’s not much of a return to the ring for Rey as he never even got a hot tag. The ending was stupid too as it’s the second DQ ending in a big match we’ve had tonight. The match wasn’t even that good either as it was a slow paced version of the main event tag. Not horrible though.

Del Rio puts the Armbreaker on Sheamus again before leaving. Ziggler looks like he’s going to cash in but Rey breaks it up. Sheamus kicks Ziggler’s head off to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. And that’s being VERY generous. There was nothing tonight that means anything as Rey’s return was pretty much wasted and it looks like we’re getting more Del Rio vs. Sheamus. That would be fine if it was set up by something different. Instead, Del Rio is going after Sheamus’ arm AGAIN, because that’s how this feud is set up I guess. This show was worthless, but Monday should have a few things on it. Bad show this week and one of the worst in a long time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 9,400
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is another request and the ultra rare Nitro request on top of that. This show is another three hour show from WCW and the first hour is considered one of the worst hours of wrestling TV ever. This is also the go home show for Uncensored which has a main event of Hogan vs. Flair. There’s some innovative thinking. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the special cage (the Cell) being built for the main event on Sunday.

We get a clip from Thunder with Arn Anderson talking to Flair, trying to console him about David Flair turning on his dad. Flair talks about how he’s got Hogan to worry about so he can’t worry about David right now. It’s David’s responsibility and that’s not Ric’s problem anymore. Anderson says that David is young and making mistakes. Ric says that’s not his problem right now. He says the Horsemen are back on top if he wins the title. Anderson says he hopes this is just a game face and that he really is concerned. Flair basically says screw that, it’s my time. Anderson doesn’t like it. This goes on for like seven minutes.

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The Nitro Girls are in Rhode Island at some kind of Nitro Party with competitions and such.

We go to a live Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island. They’re at a university apparently. There’s a spring break special and a guy here (last name Kazarian) won a trip to it.

We get introduced to Nitro Girl AC Jazz and see one of their practices.

Hogan talks about how everyone hates him but he did it for the money or something. This is tied into David Flair joining the NWO. Ric is only obsessed with the belt and power and doesn’t care at all about his son bailing. Hogan would NEVER do that but he’s willing to give Flair another shot, but he wants Flair’s career vs. the title. This also runs 5 minutes.

We’re over 20 minutes into this show and we haven’t seen the arena yet.

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Back to the Nitro Party after a presumed commercial. Konnan is at the party too.

Here’s a Konnan rap video to make sure we don’t get any wrestling.

Another NWO video, this one of Hogan and Nash watching a Flair promo. It’s basically them riffing on him as Flair talks about coming back to WCW and seeing his son leave him for the NWO. Hogan and Nash make Buddy Landell jokes that maybe 2% of the audience will get. The NWO says they’ll regroup.

Video on Lex Luger.

Scott Steiner is pulled over while driving a Hummer limo. The cops recognize him and Bagwell……and make them cops. We get a montage of them “stopping crimes” after starting them in the first place while calling each other Starsky and Hutch.

Back to the party with the girls dancing. Kidman is there now and thinks Mysterio can beat Nash.

Video on Mysterio. The NWO took his mask so this Sunday he can get revenge.

Torrie Wilson is shooting a gun at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash come in. They go in to see her and the camera would be right in the path of her bullets. The guys suggest she sleep with David to get him back on their side. They plan to meet for dinner later.

45 minutes in, no arena yet. Keep in mind that this was the hour they had unopposed by Raw. Raw would be having the final push to Mania 15, meaning Austin vs. Rock/McMahon. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE US. Is anyone surprised they went out of business?

And uh, here’s the dinner. They talk about destroying Ric Flair and plan about David.

See, apparently at this point there were four dark matches going on in the arena. We’re getting this hour of stuff instead. Looking at the card though, this might be more entertaining. Looking at Torrie Wilson with a dress that comes to her upper thigh is never a problem. She says there’s another hot girl she knows. The girl is some chick named Denise who I don’t recognize. Her last name is Robinson, meaning we get Graduate jokes. Apparently she’ll get 20 grand for taking care of David.  That’s quite the offer.

Now we get the theme song. SO WHAT WAS THAT FIRST HOUR???

We go to the arena…for an interview. Well of course we do. Gene calls out Goldberg for a chat but we get Torrie and David instead. David wants to talk to Ric man to man tonight. Goldberg’s music hits….and we take a break. Back with Goldberg in the ring, talking to David about respect. He isn’t going to take care of things like he usually would. That’s good. It might be entertaining.

David needs to respect what his father has done for the business because it’s more than David and his friends could ever do. David also needs to respect Goldberg because this is his time. David shoves him and gets choked, so here comes Ric. Flair sprints down and chops Goldberg once before turning to David, who is running away. Press slam to Ric (who is president at this point) and Naitch is in trouble. Flair makes Goldberg vs. himself tonight. Goldberg says Flair is crossing the line so Flair yells some more.

ANOTHER commercial.

Raven vs. Hak

Falls count anywhere. Neither gets an entrance. Raven has a chair and Hak (Sandman) has a cane, but as the bell rings….they hug. Oh never mind as Raven pounds him down almost immediately. HARD cane shot to Hak’s head and they head to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow will join these two at Uncensored in a triangle match. Hak puts him on the guardrail and hits a leg to the back ala RVD minus the spin.

They go up the ramp with Raven hitting a suplex onto the steel. Bird Boy busts out a table on the stage. He climbs the scaffolding to put Hak through it and here’s Bigelow, who isn’t in the match. He beats up Hak anyway as the fans chant for Goldberg. The bell rings and I guess the match is thrown out to HUGE booing.

Rating: D+. This was stupid. I guess they were previewing the PPV match but it didn’t make me want to see it. Also it’s Raven’s Rules so how can that be a DQ? Stupid match with a stupid ending. The table spot and the cane shot weren’t bad, but what was the point of this?

Apparently the bell was inadvertent so we’re going to continue this in the same match we’ll see on Sunday. Great.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They’re fighting in the back with Hak being thrown all over the place. Hak comes back and fights up to an ambulance. Here’s Raven again and it’s just random brawling. There’s a trash cart and Hak goes for a ride in it. They fight over to Flair’s limo and Raven DDTs Hak on the hood, only to get crushed by Bigelow.

He hits Raven in the groin on the hood and they’re all exhausted. They keep beating on each other and you can hear the boring chants. The problem here is they’re just laying around, doing a spot, then laying around more. They all just walk away to end it. No rating because it wasn’t really a match, but this was STUPID.

Now we get clips of the three guys fighting last week. Ok then.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho (WITH RALPHUS!) comes out wearing a dog collar. Jericho grabs the mic and welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho. Tony: “Hey we’re talking here fellow!” Chris wants to talk about Perry Saturn, who has challenged Jericho to a chain match on Sunday. Jericho is a master of the chain match though, after training on mountain tops in Nepal. He’s a Swami you see. This match is going to be a chain match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” I think I just died because of that line.

The bell rings so let’s talk about Flair some more. I think you win by pin or submission here. Jericho steps on the chain to pull Lizmark in to start and chokes with it. He wraps the chain around the knee and drops it in a unique spot. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain as Tony talks about the chain match at Starrcade 83. Can we watch that instead? It’s a MUCH better match than anything that’ll be on this show. Lizmark chokes him a bit but walks into a kind of spinebuster and the Liontamer for the tap.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moves in this from Jericho but it was just a squash. Jericho has said he had more or less made up his mind that he was gone soon after this and in fact he would be in the WWF by I believe August, where things would go MUCH better for him. Lizmark never quite meant much in WCW.

Here’s Steiner to say he’s well built and all that. The fans are all fat. Buff Bagwell says Booker is too stupid to back out of the match tonight.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is TV Champion. The announcers talk about how great the NWO has been at what they’ve done. We’re two and a half years into the plan so far and it still hasn’t worked but whatever. Feeling out process to start and Booker hits a spinning forearm for two. A hook kick knocks Steiner to the floor and Tony complains about Steiner taking a break. Larry goes into some weird environmental speech about breathing clean air before Tony cuts him off.

Back in the ring and Booker rams him into the corner a few times before Scott kicks him low to take over. Out to the floor again and we get a steroids chant. We take a break and come back with Booker hitting a forearm for one but getting taken down by a clothesline. Spinning belly to belly puts Booker down and Steiner keeps pounding away at the back. He pounds Booker down in the corner with punches and gets two off a backbreaker.

Steiner keeps up the power with a slam and chokes Booker in the Tree of Woe. Booker escapes another slam and hits a neckbreaker to break up Steiner’s momentum just for a second. Ax kick out of nowhere puts Steiner down and there’s the Spinarooni. Booker goes up but gets crotched by Bagwell. There’s the Recliner and Booker’s arm drops twice. He holds it up for the third drop so Steiner drops him….which counts as the third arm drop and Steiner wins by knockout. At least it’s over.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but Steiner just wasn’t over yet. That didn’t stop the company from shoving him down our throats of course but when did it ever? Bagwell was beyond annoying here and did the match no favors. Still though, it was nice to see a match get some time as opposed to what you were expecting with Raw at this time.

Steiner hits Booker in the back with a chair post match.

We see the Flair vs. Goldberg showdown earlier.

The Nitro Girls dance as Tony talks about upcoming house shows (his words).

Jerry Flynn gets promo time for some reason. Before he talks, Sonny Onoo (one of his opponents on Sunday and minus his accent) comes up but Jerry grabs him by the shirt. Ernest Miller, the other opponent, kicks Flynn in the back of the head and they cut off his mullet.

Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio

I think you get the idea here as Mysterio has Nash on Sunday. Norton is looking old here. Rey gets knocked to the floor and is holding his back. There isn’t much to say at all here. Mysterio charges at Norton, Norton knocks him down, Rey lays around a lot, Norton hits him some more, Rey charges at Norton and we repeat it again.

Norton throws him out to the floor and Rey’s back is hurt. Rey counters the shoulderbreaker but gets dropped on the buckle to stop the comeback. Norton kills him with a clothesline but picks him up. He does the same off a one handed press slam. Ok that was cool. Then Rey kicks him low and a fast count pins Norton. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: F. What in the world did this accomplish? Rey looks like a ragdoll, Norton looks like an idiot, I have no reason to believe Rey can beat Nash fairly or have a chance against him, and the match was boring because Norton did little more than stand around the whole time. What was this supposed to accomplish?

More Nitro Girls.

The same cage building video from earlier is shown.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

O……k. Apparently there are more stipulations for Flair vs. Hogan but you have to check the WCW website for them. Egads. Feeling out process to start and Bret is sent to the floor to cool off a bit. Back in and Van Hammer works on the arm but Bret nips up into an arm hold of his own. Van Hammer takes him right back down into a wristlock. He takes Bret into the corner and has been in control most of the match.

Bret is like screw that and hits Hammer low to take over. It’s time to work on the leg so Bret goes through his usual sequence of wear down stuff. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg) but Van Hammer makes the rope. In a nice heel move Bret won’t let go and spends a long time explaining to the referee that it’s because Hammer is laying on his leg. Small package gets two for Hammer.

Hammer hooks the slowest motion backslide ever for two. Bret goes back to the knee with a cannonball down onto it. The leg gets wrapped around the post and a DDT gets two for the Hitman. Back to the floor and Bret tries to ram the leg into the post again, only to get pulled into it face first. Back in and Hammer suplexes him for no cover. Van Hammer’s cobra clutch slam gets two. An enziguri misses and it’s Sharpshooter time. You know that ends it.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but why would you wasted a 12 minute Bret Hart match on freaking Van Hammer? This is where WCW never made a ton of sense (I know, I know): they had no clue what to do with Bret as he was in the midcard for most of his time there, especially after the first few months where he didn’t do much of anything.

Bret hits the leg with a chair post match.

Hogan and Nash come to the commentary booth and run off Heenan and Tenay.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

You know you might think this should be saved for a PPV. That would make too much sense I guess though. Nash brings up a good question: why does Flair wear his knee pads below his knees? Flair gets taken down quickly and is shoved down a second time. Shoulder block doesn’t work at all for Flair. A second does even less. A third results in a gorilla press powerslam to have Flair in agony.

Flair tries to walk up the aisle but Goldberg drags him back. Nash talks about some really strong dude from the Emerald city but he isn’t sure what happened to him. A low blow puts Goldberg down (popular move tonight) and chops don’t work. Another low blow puts Goldie down for an easily broken two count. Goldberg stars a comeback but Flair kicks him low a third time. Refereeing in this company sucks.

Time to go after the legs and after a single shot it’s Figure Four time. That gets powered out of so Flair fires off some kicks. Goldberg no sells them and sends Flair to the corner for the Flair Flip and out to the floor. Flair gets slammed down but the spear misses and he hits the buckle. Goldberg no sells a suplex and spears him down. The NWO D-Team runs in for the no contest.

Rating: C+. This was getting really good until the bad ending. See, here’s what I don’t get. What was the point in the NWO coming in? Hogan is facing Flair on Sunday so wouldn’t they want him to get hit with the Jackhammer to hurt him more? Goldberg didn’t have a match on Sunday and wasn’t on the show at all, so why would they attack him? That’s a basic plot problem.

Hogan and Nash come in also and it’s a big NWO beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know the expected thing is to say that this is the worst show ever and all that, but it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad and this was a chore to sit through, but it wasn’t the worst show ever. This was just dull for the most part. Considering I didn’t have to pay much attention at all to the first hour, this was just a bad Nitro. That being said, the show still sucks, but I’ve seen far worse shows. The lack of energy or anyone caring at all is really evident though.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

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Smackdown
Date: October 9, 2009
Location: Sovereign Bank Arena, Trenton, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Todd Grisham

I don’t remember why this was requested but it’s one of the few times someone has wanted to see a relatively recent Smackdown. On the card tonight we have Punk vs. Batista which should be worth checking out. Other than that I have no idea what to expect (well ok so I do but it sounds better the other way) which is usually fun so let’s get to it.

Let It Roll baby.

Undertaker won the title in the Cell recently so he’s here tonight. Also it’s Rey vs. Jericho which should be good.

Here’s Teddy to open things up. This is just after the HIAC PPV. Teddy congratulates Taker for winning the title and says it proves that Smackdown is the dominant brand. In three weeks it’s Bragging Rights. I think I was at Smackdown the week after this (further review: I was). Teddy talks about the Orton vs. Cena match at the PPV and if Cena loses he’s off Raw forever. They’d love to have him on Smackdown of course.

This brings out Punk for some reason and he’s limping badly. He talks about how Smackdown needs focus rather than John Cena and right now Teddy needs to focus on him. If there’s going to be a #1 contender named, it better be him. The match against Batista tonight isn’t fair after he was in the Cell just five days ago. Punk wants Undertaker in a submission match and he wants Scott Armstrong (semi-crooked referee) at ringside. Teddy says no and Punk says he’s calling the shots.

That brings out Vince in a surprise appearance. Vince talks about how Teddy is still on probation and that’s not good. What Long was about to announce isn’t going to please anyone. Vince informs Teddy that it’ll be Undertaker defending against Punk, Batista and Mysterio. And speaking of Mysterio, let’s have our first match.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho

This should be good. Jericho is half of the tag champions here. Jericho and Show beat Mysterio and Batista on Sunday to retain so there’s the story behind the match. They start off fast of course with Mysterio tossing Jericho to the floor where he hits a plancha. The crowd is almost silent for some reason. Back in Jericho takes his head off with a clothesline, followed by kicks to the back.

Mysterio takes him down with a headscissors but gets caught and thrown into the air to put the Canadian right back into control. Jericho throws him under the bottom rope so Mysterio can do his land on his chest landing. Back from a break with Jericho holding a chinlock. Jericho hits an enziguri for two and drapes Mysterio over the top rope. After a quick skirmish on the floor Jericho loads up a belly to back superplex but instead goes for the mask.

Rey knocks him off and hits the seated senton as things speed up. Jericho tries a sunset flip but Rey rolls through and hits a seated dropkick for two. Jericho grabs the feet and tries the Walls but Rey rolls him up for a close two. Backbreaker gets two for Chris. The bulldog is countered and Rey puts him in 619 position but Jericho moves. Rey tries a springboard but jumps into the Walls. He can’t make a rope but he gets underneath Jericho and kicks him into 619 position. That and a slingshot splash are good for the pin.

Rating: B-. Good match here but did you expect anything else? They got to do their usual stuff and the ending was solid on top of that. This would put Rey higher on the totem poll than Jericho which makes sense as Jericho was in the Bragging Rights match instead of the world title match. Good stuff here but not as good as their stuff from earlier in the year.

Back to Raw for a clip from Ben Rothelisberger hosting the show.

WORD UP’s word of the week is Eve. She pops up in the video and that’s about it.

Eve Torres vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle is Women’s Champion. McCool takes her into the corner but Eve fires back. Eve controls for a few seconds but Michelle hits a running knee to take over. Michelle wraps up Eve’s arms and rams the back of Eve’s head into Michelle’s chest. That’s a different one. Eve comes back with dropkicks and a small package for two. And never mind as Michelle kicks her head off for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing how far this division has fallen in the last two and a half years. Laycool was so ridiculously better than anyone else for a long time and then they both left and the division fell off a cliff. When you go from Michelle and Layla down to Kelly Kelly, the ring quality goes down a lot, which is saying something when Laycool wasn’t great in the ring to begin with.

Vickie is in the back with whatever boyfriend she has this week. Oh it’s Eric Escobar. No wonder I didn’t recognize him. Teddy comes in and Vickie complains about Escobar to not have a match tonight. She complains about Punk not getting a rematch and complains about the Undertaker being treated unfairly. Huh? Teddy says it was Vince’s idea and Vickie is incensed. Eric speaks Spanish and Teddy has no idea what he said. Escobar would be off TV before the end of the year and released in January.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

John is defending. Feeling out process to start and they head to the mat. Dolph winds up on top for a bit until Morrison hooks an armbar. That gets broken up quickly so it’s time for a headlock. Ziggler fights out of that so Morrison hits a backbreaker and Russian legsweep for two. Maria is at ringside because she was dating Ziggler I think. In a cool move, Ziggler grabs Morrison’s leg but Morrison dives forward and swings his other foot over his head to kick Ziggler in the head (called a Pele by JR).

Morrison misses a corner charge and Ziggler grabs a bridging German suplex for two. Stinger Splash hits for two as does a jumping elbow drop. There’s a reverse chinlock and sweet goodness Maria is gorgeous. Ziggler stomps him in the corner and hits a powerslam for two. Back to the chinlock but Morrison stands up and comes out with an electric chair drop to escape.

Slugout goes to the champion and he’s getting all fired up. Leg lariat takes Dolph down and the standing shooting star gets two. John cross bodies him to the floor and they’re both down. Ziggler throws him back in and steals Maria’s chair. Maria takes it back without Dolph seeing her. Dolph hits a dropkick and goes for the chair (without taking care of the referee first) but after yelling at Maria he walks into the Flying Chuck (Disaster Kick) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a pretty solid match but the reversals were going slowly for some reason. They were fine and worked well for what they were going for but it wasn’t anything great. Morrison is great in the ring and as long as he can keep his big mouth shut and can stay away from Melina, he’ll be back in WWE someday.

Video on Taker’s seven world title wins. Did we mention he got the belt back?

After a break Ziggler won’t talk to Maria. He winds up yelling at her and says to stay out of his professional life. As for his personal life, they’re done.

Rey is in the back and Batista comes in. Rey hopes Batista isn’t upset about the loss on Sunday but Batista says it’s cool. They both think they’ll win at Bragging Rights.

R-Truth/Matt Hardy vs. Kane/Drew McIntyre

This is when McIntyre was pretty new and unstoppable. That’s quite a strange partner for him. I kind of miss Truth doing his own song. Drew still has a very generic rock song. Matt and Drew start us off and it’s time for arm work. Off to Truth as Drew is in trouble. Drew makes a blind tag and Truth messes up his spinning kick. Kane comes in to run over Truth and hits his low dropkick for two. After a quick exchange, Truth sends Kane into the buckle and it’s off to Matt vs. Drew. Everything breaks down and Drew sends Matt into Kane for an uppercut, followed by the Futureshock for the pin on Hardy.

Rating: D+. Not much here as they didn’t have a ton of time. McIntyre would take the title off Morrison soon enough but it wouldn’t lead anywhere. Hardy would feud with McIntyre eventually while Truth would go on to become crazy in about a year and a half with not much else in between. Kane would float around until the summer when he would FINALLY win the world title again.

Here’s Undertaker for his latest speech. The belt does look good on him. He talks about how the title is so important and that’s why he needs to hold it. He talks about the world title match at the PPV and says Punk won’t be as lucky at Bragging Rights as he was in the Cell. He’ll take out Batista and Rey as well. That’s about it.

Batista vs. CM Punk

There’s a lot of time for this. Punk immediately goes to the floor and it’s time to stall. We finally get some contact and Punk gets sent to the ropes. Batista takes him into the corner and rams him with a clothesline. Punk to the floor again but he manages to guillotine him on the top rope. A springboard clothesline fails but Punk escapes the Batista Bomb as we take a break.

Back with Batista suplexing Punk for two. The high kick is countered into an ankle lock of all things. Punk runs to the floor again and catches Batista coming in with a kick to the head and then a knee lift. Off to the chinlock and into a headscissors as JR makes the alays stupid statement of the two being the same size on the mat.

Batista comes up and hits the Bossman Slam to put both guys down. Now Grisham tries to be witty by saying that Batista knocked the air out of the man from the windy city. Cross body is countered into a powerslam for two. Punk gets a quick comeback but walks into a spinebuster. He bails to the floor and Batista tries the Bomb out there. Punk grabs the top rope and kicks Batista away before sliding back in for the countout win.

Rating: C. See, now that was a clever ending. Why is that such a rare thing to come by nowadays? It played into the idea that Punk was trying to stay away from Batista as well as giving us a nice surprise instead of making Batista look unbeatable. That gives you another challenger in the PPV Title match instead of just the obvious Big Dave. The match wasn’t great up until the ending though.

Batista powerbombs Punk anyway post match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show flew by and in a mostly good way. They set up the PPV title match and on the next show we would start setting up the big tag match. Since there were only five matches on the card, the PPV wouldn’t take much more than that to build it up. The show tonight was good and certainly entertaining enough. Good stuff.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 1, 2008
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

I downloaded this show thinking that it was the 800th episode and that WWE couldn’t count, but I found out that they had a big 800th episode celebration later on. I’ve done that one already, or at least I will by the time you read this. That being said, I already have this show downloaded so I might as well throw it in as a bonus. Let’s get to it.

We open with an in memory graphic for Killer Kowalski. Always good to see.

This was taped on Sunday since Monday was Labor Day.

Here’s Orton to open the show and he’s apparently got a bad left arm. This is his return from an injury and his arm is still in a sling. Orton talks about how a brand is measured by its champions. When he was world champion, Raw dominated. Let’s look at the Divas Champion, Beth Phoenix. She’s running around like a lovesick puppy. And who is she in love with? Santino? Orton could beat him even while hurt. Moving onto the tag champions, how can Orton and DiBiase be called Priceless? It’s more like worthless.

However, that’s not the real problem here on Raw. Instead, Punk is the one running around disgracing the World Title. Four years ago, Punk was nothing in a nothing organization. Now he climbed a ladder and got a lucky win to become champion. Orton would love to take the title back right now but he’s not medically cleared. One day soon though, Orton will come back and take the title.

Cue Punk who looks WAY younger here. Punk talks about how he didn’t have his daddy and granddaddy getting him his spot. He’s world champion and he doesn’t drink, smoke etc. Know what else he doesn’t do? He doesn’t go out on his motorcycle at 3am and reinjure his shoulder for three more months. NICE. Punk calls Orton a joke and Randy goes to leave, so Punk says he’ll keep the title until Orton is ready to come back and lose to him.

Orton leaves and here’s JBL who is in the Scramble on Sunday. He says that in three days, the clock strikes midnight on Cinderella. The odds will catch up with Punk and the fans will get a real champion in JBL. JBL says he can clothesline anyone and pin them. Cue Kane who says he’s been home and hasn’t seen JBL’s clothesline there. He did however see Mysterio there, which means Rey is out of the Scramble match. Now cue Batista who spears everyone and stands tall.

Kofi Kingston vs. Charlie Haas

Haas is dressed as Cena in another imitation. Cena is out after having neck surgery so the fans popped big for the music. Kofi speeds things up to start but Haas knocks him down. He sets for the Shuffle but Kofi kicks him in the head followed by some dropkicks. Things speed up again and there’s the Boom Drop. Charlie gets in a right hand and tries the FU but Kofi escapes and Trouble in Paradise ends this quick.

Priceless yells at Orton so Orton slaps them and says take some action.

Teddy and Tiffany go to see Adamle because they run ECW. There’s going to be a battle royal for the ECW Scramble guys as well as one with the Raw guys. Adamle thinks this could become a tradition on Labor Day, like a Jerry Lewis telethon without the sick kids. Kane comes in and says Rey isn’t coming back like Adamle says. Adamle says he was hoping to make Rey feel good and show up either tonight or at Unforgiven.

Battle Royal

Matt Hardy, Finlay, Mark Henry, Chavo Guerrero, The Miz

Henry is champion coming in. I don’t think the winner gets anything here. Everyone goes after Henry to start but he throws them all away with ease. Matt is the only one that has any luck against him as he and Miz manage a double DDT. Finlay slams Chavo onto Henry, which is kind of stupid as it keeps Henry on the mat. Miz puts Finlay onto the apron but walks into a side effect.

Finlay comes back in for a double clothesline on Matt to put them both down. Henry throws out Chavo and Miz at the same time and then splashes Finlay in the corner. Matt goes after Henry as does Finlay but they can’t throw him out due to reasons of fat. Finlay is easily thrown out by Mark and after a brief flurry from Matt he’s tossed too to give Henry the pretty easy win.

Rating: D-. So let me get this straight: Henry, the champion and favorite coming into the match on Sunday just threw out all four of his opponents in about three and a half minutes with complete ease. How exactly is that supposed to make me want to see the match on Sunday again? Why are battle royals so hard to get right? They really should be easier than this to book.

Jericho looks at the contract for his unsanctioned match on Sunday with Shawn.

Jamie Noble vs. William Regal

Noble wants to date Layla so she’s here too. I don’t remember that pairing very well at all but this brings it back a bit. Granted it’s not exactly the biggest angle of all time. Regal annoyed Layla when she was dancing and Noble saved her so there’s your background. Regal is in his one piece swimsuit attire and he pounds Noble down with ease. A full nelson is easily countered and they trade some rollups for two. Regal punches him in the face to put him down as the beating continues. Out of nowhere, Noble grabs a small package for the quick pin. This was like a minute long.

Jillian Hall sings a bit before the next match.

Jillian Hall/Katie Lea Burchill/Beth Phoenix vs. Mickie James/Candice Michelle, Kelly Kelly

The Divas were much hotter in 2008. Beth is Women’s Champion and says she’s a great champion, which is a message to Orton. She says no one can challenge her which draws out Candice to be the mystery partner or something. Kelly vs. Katie to start with Kelly proving why she should stick to looking good, which she is in a bikini and chaps.

Off to Mickie and Jillian with Mickie getting caught in the heel corner. Beth comes in for a slingshot suplex for two. A neckbreaker lets Mickie tag in Candice, who just wasn’t that good. She cleans house and goes up in the heel corner for a cross body. Beth rolls through but Candice rolls into an ugly small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Candice brought this WAY down. She was botching everything she tried and really messed up the match. They tried really hard to make her into the big deal of the division and it never quite worked. On another note, the Divas looked WAY better back then and could work better matches too. Such a shame.

Recap of Jericho vs. Shawn which was about Shawn having a bad eye and having to retire. Jericho blames Shawn for it and in a fight between them, Jericho punched Shawn’s wife. Shawn can’t quit after that so there’s an unsanctioned match this Sunday. This is a long
video but it’s good.

Santino Marella vs. D’Lo Brown

Santino debuts the Honk-A-Meter before the match. I saw this match at a house show earlier in the summer. Brown starts off fast getting two off a clothesline. A Shining Wizard (actually called that) sets up the Low Down but Santino moves and gets the very fast pin.

We get a classic moment from September of 1997 and the first Raw in MSG. It was the night Austin first Stunned Vince.

John Morrison/The Miz vs. Cryme Tyme

Cryme Tyme has the tag title belts which they stole. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start and here’s Priceless to beat down the thieves and to take back their titles. No match.

After a break Priceless shows Orton the belts but don’t say a word.

Smackdown Your Vote, the Republican edition. I’m a political geek so this is awesome.

Batista is asked what his game plan is for tonight. It’s to destroy everyone.

We run down the card for Sunday.

Battle Royal

Kane, Batista, CM Punk, John Bradshaw Layfield

Rey isn’t here but he’d be in the match on Sunday. Orton is at ringside when we come back from a break. Kane comes out last instead of Punk for some reason. Batista knocks everyone down to start and hits the worst spear I’ve seen in a very long time on JBL. Batista is a monster but there was zero impact there at all. Kane breaks up the Bomb on Punk with a big boot and Punk clotheslines Batista out.

A backdrop puts JBL out and it’s down to two. Punk tries whatever he can against Kane but the big boot and side slam take him down. Punk hits three knees in the corner but the bulldog is countered. He tries the GTS but Kane elbows out of it. Punk tries to springboard into the clothesline but Kane catches him by the throat and shoves Punk out for the win.

Rating: C. See how easy it is to give us a little drama going into Sunday? All you have to do is give someone other than the champion a win and it makes the fans think there’s some doubt as to who wins. The good part of a battle royal is that it makes the winner look good but the loser doesn’t lose anything because it’s just a battle royal.

Post match Punk and Orton stare at each other and Punk slaps him. Also Rey returns, completely defeating the purpose of not being in the battle royal, to beat down Kane and send him into the post and hit a 619 around the post.

Time for the contract signing. Jerry is the moderator and explains that there are no rules and WWE is absolved from any liabilities in the match. Both of them sign and Jerry thanks them but Jericho cuts them off. He wants to know why we have all the security. Shawn says it’s not his idea because if it were up to him it would be just the two of them. Jericho and Shawn agree that the security isn’t needed here so it’s just the two of them.

Jericho says he followed the advice Shawn gave him at Summerslam, “you know, before I hit your wife in the face.” He told them that he’d never be an egomaniac like Summerslam. Then he said not to watch Summerslam because he doesn’t want them to see what he’s capable of doing. Shawn says his family won’t be watching either. Someday he’ll tell them about it all though. About the day that his father almost walked away but couldn’t turn the other cheek because sometimes you have to spit in the eye of evil.

Shawn talks about how he’ll never forgive him for what he did, but he hopes on day God forgives Shawn for what he’ll do to Jericho on Sunday. They both get up but Lance Cade comes in to save Jericho which goes as well as you would expect for him. Really strong closing segment.

Overall Rating: B-. This was an odd show but it set up an odd PPV. The problem is that there were 15 people tied up in three matches so you could only do so much on TV before the PPV. That being said, the build was mostly good and the Shawn/Jericho stuff was awesome. At the end of the day when you have great promos and great matches, the feud is going to be great by default, and it was, giving us the feud of the year. Good show.

Here’s Unforgiven if you’re interested:

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