We open with a recap of the end of Raw with the latest huge brawl. These things are really running together. Also do the recaps really need to go on for three minutes?

Opening sequence.

Rollins says Cena is in this spot because he’s done exactly what he’s promised to do over the last ten years. That all ends on Sunday though because Rollins will set the new standard of doing everything he says he’ll do. The future may have to go through Cena, but there is no future without Seth Rollins. You might even say that Cena’s time is up and Rollins’ time is now.

The main event is Rowan/Ryback/Ziggler vs. Harper/Show/Kane. Of course it is.

Usos vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

Jimmy and Kidd get things going as Naomi is watching in the back. Off to Jey for a top rope elbow to the arm but Tyson drives him into the corner for some shoulders from Cesaro.

Back up and a dropkick puts Cesaro on the floor, setting up the big dive from Jimmy. Kidd gets in a kick from the apron as Miz gets a call from his agent. Apparently it’s about Naomi so Miz leaves to talk to her. We take a break and come back with Jimmy fighting out of a chinlock, only to get caught in an overhead belly to belly for two.

to the floor. There’s the Swing but Kidd dropkicks Jimmy out of the air in a painful looking spot. Cesaro misses a charge into the post though and an enziguri finally allows the tag to Jey. House is cleaned with the Samoan drop and running Umaga attack but everything breaks down. Jey superkicks Cesaro’s head off and the Superfly Splash is enough for the pin at 11:53.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting with Kidd and Cesaro working well enough together. The division is in need of some fresh teams so why not have two guys that are ready to move up to the next level? If nothing else that swing into the dropkick is a great spot and could be a solid finisher.

Naomi needs to sort Jimmy out and soon.

After a break, Naomi runs into the Usos and goes off on Jimmy for not having her back. She leaves and Jey says let her cool off. Jimmy knew this was going to happen and yells about how Miz is messing with them. Jey says Jimmy has two days to get his head right because this is exactly what Miz wants.

Video on Cena vs. Lesnar which transitions into Cena vs. Rollins.

Alicia Fox vs. Nikki Bella

Back in and AJ says Nikki is like the head cheerleader from an 80s movie. A hammerlock slam gets two for Nikki and she cranks on both arms with a knee in the back. Fox fights up again but misses a boot in the corner, earning her a forearm to the jaw. The Rack Attack is good for the pin at 4:16.

Nikki Racks Fox again while talking trash to AJ.

We recap the Slammy winners from Monday.

Big E. vs. Goldust

Goldust takes over to start with a powerslam and DDT for two each. Big E. comes back with a clothesline and belly to belly, only to charge into a spinebuster for another near fall. The Big Ending is escaped and Big E. charges into a knee. Not that it matters as Big E. pops up and hits the Big Ending for the pin at 2:15.

We look at Reigns winning Superstar of the Year.

A slam doesn’t work though as Jack rolls over into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 2:24.

Rusev and Lana interrupt We The People and pose with the title.

Big Show/Kane/Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan/Ryback

Kane never liked Kidman though so he kicks Dolph’s head off for two as we take another break. Back again with Ziggler fighting back on Harper but getting catapulted into the middle rope for two.

instead of, you know, tagging. Show easily escapes and hits the chokeslam for two. The KO Punch misses and Ziggler hits a Zig Zag out of nowhere. Dolph finally tags Ryback to clean house as everything breaks down. Show runs over Rowan on the floor and Ryback Meathooks Luke. There’s the Shell Shock for the pin at 17:08.

Post match the weapons are brought in and Dolph dives off the ladder to knock down all three giants on the floor to end the show.

Results

Usos b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Superfly Splash to Cesaro

Nikki Bella b. Alicia Fox – Rack Attack

Big E. b. Goldust – Big Ending

Ryback/Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan b. Big Show/Kane/Luke Harper – Shell Shock to Harper

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Recap of the main story from Raw with Cena vs. Rollins in a tables match being set for TLC and all the brawling between the Survivor Series teams.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. New Day

Woods/Kingston here. Woods tags out less than five seconds in so Kofi can sunset flip Cesaro for two. Cesaro drives Kofi into the corner so Kidd can hammer him down. Kingston easily fights out of a chinlock and cleans house, including the Boom Drop on Tyson. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Everything breaks down and a Demolition Decapitator with a Woods top rope stomp instead of an Ax elbow is good for the pin on Kidd at 2:45.

We get a clip from Main Event with Swagger making it his mission to take the US Title from Rusev.

Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev

Jey Uso vs. Miz

Brie Bella vs. Naomi

Ryback/Erick Rowan vs. Seth Rollins/Big Show

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper kicked Ziggler low

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Top rope double stomp/backbreaker combination to Kidd

Miz b. Jey Uso – Skull Crushing Finale

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Rollup

Ryback/Erick Rowan b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Shell Shock to Rollins

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Back in Bloomington this week as the show was taped. There’s a chance this is the final episode on Sci-Fi but that hasn’t been confirmed yet. On my digital preview there’s a sci-fi show on next week, but a week later, on the 12th, NXT is listed. It’s likely a misprint but interesting nonetheless. Let’s get to it.

We open by recapping musical chairs. It amuses me how they’ve just given up on this being a wrestling show at all and are just trying to make it as entertaining as possible. Talk the Talk is a bit better but it is kind of interesting to see WWE say how talking is very important and apparently more important than wrestling.

No Punk to start us out which makes me a sad reviewer.

Striker brings out the girls who mostly look good. Maxine still has the straight hair which looks really weird on her for some reason. Voting for the first elimination begins tomorrow on WWE.com which is where the results show will likely be seen. There’s a wheelbarrow in the aisle and they have to run around the ring with it, fastest time wins.

Maxine is first but before we start we need something in the wheelbarrow. And here’s Hornswoggle to make me roll my eyes. Cole asks what this has to do with being a Diva as Maxine sets the mark at 14.7 seconds. Horny bites her tights after she shoves him out of the wheelbarrow.

Naomi goes second and beats her time but they keep the clock running anyway for some reason as they have a tendency to do, putting her in second.

Jamie gets 14.4 to take the lead.

Kaitlyn is fourth and flies through this, getting 12 flat. Cole gets the line of the night as he yells at Josh: YOU’RE ANALYZING A WHEELBARROW RACE! He’s annoying but you can’t deny that he’s right.

AJ is the next to last girl and is rocking an I Love Nerds t-shirt. She’s nowhere close and Horny hugs her for a long time.

Aksana goes last and gets 13.9 to give Kaitlyn the win. What a great way to spend the first 13 minutes of a wrestling show.

This Week in WWE History is about Madison Square Garden and in particular the Raw where there was a triple interview with Dude Love, Cactus Jack and Mankind where Cactus returned and had a great falls count anywhere match with HHH. Oh and Austin gave Vince the first Stunner between the two. And now, back to the wheelbarrow racing show.

We profile AJ and how nerdy she is. We get a cool clip of her in line for tickets to Wrestlemania in MSG which I’m assuming was 20. That’s very cool that she is in a clip from footage like that as a kid for some reason.

Diss the Divas later tonight. Oh joy: more reading from scripts.

And now we recap Raw. I wonder how long they can go without actual wrestling on this show. Well that’s enough content so we need another commercial now.

Yep next week we’re on WWE.com. Not sure how that’ll effect the reviews but I’ll get it up somehow.

We profile Kaitlyn now who wants to be herself. And ANOTHER commercial. It’s 10:35 and there has not been a single piece of wrestling whatsoever. They’re coming back for 2 minutes of profiles etc and then a commercial.

Back from a break and we recap Smackdown with the Taker vs. Kane segment. When I say that, I mean they PLAY THE WHOLE THING. I don’t mean a highlight package, I don’t mean a synopsis, I mean Kane is talking about Undertaker and the druids are about to come out and Paul Bearer is about to return. If you’re curious as to what’s going on see my Smackdown review because I’m not talking about something I reviewed four days ago.

Time for Diss the Divas which is exactly what it sounds like. Aksana goes first and says she’s hot which she is. Her diss to the Divas is they don’t look as good as she does and she’s in better shape.

AJ goes second and is rather adorable. This is by far the highlight of the show which is hardly saying much. AJ says she belongs more here and she should be the winner because she’s not the typical Diva. This would come off better if Cole would SHUT UP. It’s one thing to get on the girls but it’s another thing to talk over them so we can’t even hear them.

Kaitlyn does an impression of Naomi by sticking her hips out. Naomi literally kicks it and that’s all for Kaitlyn.

Jamie says Aksana belongs in a circus and AJ is a ten year old but Jamie is awesome. Striker is more or less begging them to pick this up as it’s awful.

Naomi says this is about wrestling and entertainment and has them beat in those areas. Kaitlyn only won last week because Naomi messed up. Shame AJ won last week but whatever.

Maxine says the same thing she’s said every week as AJ and Kaitlyn conspire and play patty cake in the background.

AJ wins the competition over Naomi but just slightly, giving her the most victories and immunity.

And here’s Vickie to make sure we get her face time this week since this is the Vickie/Cole show. She bashes Kaitlyn who more or less turns face and wants Vickie in a match. Vickie accepts but gets a BIG OLD SLAP to Kaitlyn. That was Stephanie level slapping and somehow the highlight of the show. They “brawl” to end this joke of a show.

Overall Rating: F. This was an absolute joke. They can’t throw in a two minute match just to give us something? I don’t watch this show to see a segment I already watched. The show is moving to WWE.Com and I can’t imagine this show is going to make people want to watch it. I love the WWE but I never want to hear them complain about ratings again, not after this. Horrible show with no appealing value at all like this show usually has with its bad comedy. I feel sorry for the people that paid for tickets to it.

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