Summerslam 2017
Date: August 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,128
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s kind of amazing how these modern shows go in one ear and out the other. Aside from the main event, I couldn’t tell you a single thing on this show, and I can tell you every match (mostly in order) from the first seventeen or so Wrestlemanias. It’s the nature of the shows being built up so fast and then running so long, as the same is true of shows I’ve been to even this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: The Miz/Miztourage vs. Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan

Rematch from Raw. Now this one I remember because it took place about twenty minutes into the two hour Kickoff Show and the place was embarrassingly empty with MAYBE twenty percent of the place full. It’s just awful looking as the fans who aren’t in yet (as in the majority of them) are going to be annoyed at missing a match and the wrestlers have to go out in front of this empty building like they’re on some nothing indy show (in a huge arena for some reason). I mean, what in the world is the point?

Matt headlocks Axel to start and it’s quickly off to Jeff as the dozens and dozens of fans get behind the good guys. Jordan comes in to crank on the arm to no reaction, at least partially because there aren’t many people here to cheer. A dropkick gets two on Dallas and Jordan muscles him down to the mat.

Everything breaks down and Jordan directs traffic as the Hardys chop away in the corner. Axel saves Dallas from the Swanton and we take a break. Back with Jeff getting two off a basement dropkick as the crowd is now just embarrassing instead of depressing. Dallas pushed Jeff off the top though and it’s time to start the stomping in the corner. Miz (oh yeah he’s in this match) comes in for a reverse chinlock but Jeff kicks him away without too much effort.

Instead it’s Axel coming in to twist Jeff’s neck around as the fans chant for BROTHER NERO. Jeff dropkicks Miz and Dallas off the apron and knocks Axel away as well, allowing the lukewarm tag off to Matt. The middle rope elbow to the back of the neck gets two on Miz but he’s right back up with the YES Kicks. Matt shrugs those off though and there’s a Side Effect for the same. Jordan comes in to throw Axel around, including a suplex for two. Everything breaks down and Miz makes a blind tag, setting up a Skull Crushing Finale to pin Jordan at 10:31.

Rating: C. The crowd killed what would have otherwise been a pretty good six man tag. When you can hear the wrestlers breathing, it’s pretty clear that there isn’t much going on in the arena, which isn’t exactly the atmosphere you want for a show billed as a big party. The match itself was fine, and it helps to not have watched it six days earlier.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Akira Tozawa vs. Neville

Tozawa, part of Titus Worldwide, is defending after winning the title from Neville on Monday. He also has a banged up shoulder. You remember Neville. He was the awesome guy who turned into one of the best heels in the company but WWE decided that having him put over Enzo Amore made more sense and since there was apparently no way Neville could be a heavyweight again, he walked out a few months later.

Neville shoulders him down to start and then dropkicks the glare off of Tozawa’s face. That’s it for now though as Neville sends him outside and screams a lot, as is his custom. The jumping backsplash crushes Neville back inside but he’s able to snap Tozawa’s throat across the top rope. Back from a break with Neville scoring off a missile dropkick to the back for two and stopping to sneer.

The chinlock lets Tozawa have a breather and he fights up to send Neville outside again. That means the big suicide dive and a Saito suplex but it’s too early for the top rope backsplash. Instead Tozawa reverses a fireman’s carry into an Octopus hold as he’s certainly keeping things varied. Neville makes the ropes so Tozawa hits a Shining Wizard for two.

An enziguri staggers Tozawa but he’s right back with a second Shining Wizard to put both guys down. Tozawa is up first but gets pulled down by the bad shoulder. His legs are fine enough to kick Neville in the head and it’s time to go up again. After knocking Neville off the top, the backsplash hits knees and the champ is in big trouble. Neville jumps up top and hits the Red Arrow to the back for the pin and the title at 11:45.

Rating: C+. I get what they were going for here with the title change taking place on Summerslam but why not go with the first title change here and then switch it back tomorrow or the next week on Raw? Or, dare I suggest it, on 205 Live? Other than that it felt like they were just kind of going through the motions at times, but Neville going through the motions is still pretty good.

The crowd is fine now.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is defending in what is kind of another Smackdown rematch, though it’s a different New Day lineup. Tonight it’s Woods and Big E., who has a huge cape. On the way to the ring, Kofi talks about how this is the place New Day first sang together and the original Francesca was born. Her sacrifice is what allowed us to have Francesca II: TURBO. Tonight they’re here to tear the house down with the Usos one more time.

Woods and Jimmy start things off in a technical sequence until Woods hits a roaring elbow to knock Jimmy’s block off. Some forearms in the corner have Jimmy in trouble but he gets in a shot to the face to stagger Woods. Back from a break with Jey putting on a chinlock and then slinging Woods into the corner. Woods knocks Jey off the top and avoids a charge from Jimmy. A missile dropkick has Jey in trouble but Jimmy pulls Big E. off the apron.

Thankfully the hot tag isn’t just a few seconds later and a backbreaker/middle rope knee combination gets two. Woods is in big trouble but scores with a victory roll faceplant (not a bad little move), which is finally enough for the hot tag to Big E. House is cleaned, including the release Rock Bottom out of the corner for two on Jey. Big E. powerbombs Woods onto Jey as the fast tags begin.

Woods even manages to electric chair Big E. so he can splash Jey as well but Jimmy comes in for a save. The double spinebuster gets two on Big E. and there’s the running Umaga attack for good measure as the pace picks up. Woods comes back in for a Rock Bottom into a Backstabber, which is somehow only good for two. That’s a heck of a finisher for those two if they’re ever a regular team.

Jey gets a blind tag but Woods knocks both Usos to the floor just in case. Big E.’s spear through the ropes is cut off by a superkick and a Superfly Splash while he’s still stuck in the ropes. The regular Superfly Splash gets a close two on Woods but he pulls Jey into a Koji Clutch. That’s broken up as well so Woods goes with a Shining Wizard for two.

A tornado DDT to the floor plants Jey and Jimmy takes the Midnight Hour, only to have Jey dive in at the last second for another save. Jimmy Samoan drops Woods to the floor and Kofi gets sent into the steps for checking on his buddy. Big E. is right back up with the spear through the ropes to take Jey down. Woods is done though and it’s four straight superkicks to Big E. into the double Us to give the Usos the titles back at 19:09.

Rating: B. Is there any surprise that this was the best thing on the Kickoff Show? This took some time to get going but these four delivered, as always. They know how to work well together and the diving saves for the false finishes were great. You could run these two over and over again, which is exactly what happened for the next few months. That can only go on for so long though, and that’s why the division isn’t great to this day.

The opening video starts with a shot of Brooklyn before heading backstage. The bigger matches get a quick look as someone spray paints the Summerslam logo onto a wall. That’s rather generic for the opening of such a big show.

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin attacked Shinsuke Nakamura after Nakamura beat Cena, who made the save. Cena then cost Corbin his Money in the Bank cash-in to really hammer this home. The fans, ever so nice, ask Baron where his briefcase is. Cena slides outside to mock Corbin, even throwing on JBL’s hat. Well that makes any adult look like a moron so Corbin gives chase but Cena slides back in.

A headlock keeps Corbin on trouble as JBL points out the Cena issue with the crowd: they’re always chanting about him, whether it’s positive or negative. That’s not the best sign for the opponents, but at least Corbin had the chant to start the match. Some knees to the ribs put Cena in trouble and Corbin pops him in the jaw with a right hand.

The slide underneath the corner sets up the hard clothesline for two and Corbin is already looking frustrated. A suplex gets the same so it’s time to yell at the referee. Corbin hits a World’s Strongest Slam and we hit the chinlock. The fans ask about the briefcase again so Corbin says it’s on Cena. Another comeback starts up with the flying shoulders until Corbin slides under the ropes again, only to slide back in for a chokebreaker.

Cena blocks a superplex attempt and hits a tornado DDT, sending the fans right back into their chorus of booing. The AA is reversed into a Deep Six and Corbin can’t believe the kickout. He’s so serious that the shirt comes off and more slugging ensues. Cena sends him into the corner for the third slide but this time Corbin eats a big clothesline. The AA is good for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D+. So that happened. The story wasn’t great, the action was nothing to see and Cena hit all of two moves to win in the end. Cena would go on to feud with Roman Reigns for the real rub, but that’s not the best way to boost Corbin. Just a complete nothing of a match here and it felt like they were getting it out of the way instead of featuring it, which is really weird to see for Cena.

Cena hugging kids and throwing his wristbands and dog tags is always cool to see. That just works.

Some wrestlers played Rocket League.

We recap Naomi vs. Natalya. Naomi won the title at Wrestlemania but Natalya thinks she’s turned it into a toy. Natalya attacked Becky Lynch after a match so Naomi made the save. This qualifies for the build to a title match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Naomi

Naomi is defending and gets slapped in the face at the bell but snaps off a hurricanrana to get herself out of trouble. A Blockbuster off the steps gives Naomi two more but Natalya posts her hard to take over. Back in and Natalya stomps away but the emotional offense has never been her strong suit. James Ellsworth and Miss Money in the Bank Carmella are watching in the back (she held that thing so long that she is still champion and Ellsworth has left, returned and left again in less than a year) as Natalya hits a running clothesline.

Naomi’s kicks to the legs don’t have much effect so Natalya grabs an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Natalya hits the discus lariat for two and loads up a superplex. Naomi slips out and hits a super Russian legsweep, which of course gets us to even despite both of them taking the same impact. A spinning kick to the head and a headscissors driver give Naomi two but the dancing kicks are shrugged off (as they should be) with Natalya dropkicking her in the face.

Natalya gets caught in the ropes though and a slingshot legdrop gives Naomi two. The reverse Rings of Saturn is countered into the Sharpshooter but Naomi pulls rolls through and sends Natalya head first into the buckle. Not that it matters though as the split legged moonsault misses, setting up another Sharpshooter to make Naomi tap at 10:50.

Rating: D+. I was bored during this as Natalya is a black hole of charisma and Naomi isn’t the best at being serious. The wrestling was dull too and there was nothing happening here to draw me in. It doesn’t help when the women’s division on both shows have been dominated by the Four Horsewomen for so long that it’s almost impossible to get invested in anyone else (though Naomi has come a long, long way in the last year).

Post match Naomi is rather depressed.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show. Cass and Enzo Amore have split up and Show is standing up for him. Tonight though Enzo is being locked in a cage (good start) and Show has a broken hand thanks to Cass crushing it in the shark cage.

Big Show vs. Big Cass

Before the match, Enzo makes various Brooklyn/New York City rap references. He talks about loving to talk and how his worst day is better than Cass’ best and Cass has no heart. Thankfully Cass comes out to cut off the never ending promo and Enzo goes up in the cage. Show, not being the brightest guy in the world, hits Cass with the broken hand as Enzo is already running his mouth. He dances in the cage a bit, shouting about having the best seat in the house.

Cass gets thrown around and kicked in the ribs and there’s the side slam, only to have Show bang up the hand again. Enzo shouts something about Patrick the Starfish as Show misses a Vader Bomb, injuring his hand again. Cass’ big boot is blocked by a weak KO punch for two but the second attempt hits Show’s chest. It’s time to start in on the hand even more, despite that not really doing anything that’s going to let Cass pin him. Something like an armbar has Enzo jumping up and down, further making me want to see him put inside a wood chipper.

The fans call the hold boring so Cass stops, poses, and puts it on again. Show throws him down and hits a left armed clothesline, followed by the chokeslam for two. The hand goes into the post as Enzo is leaning through the cage bars. With Show down, Enzo pulls off his pants and whips out a bottle of lubricant (there’s no way I’m touching that one), oils himself up, and gets out of the cage. The match completely stops until Enzo gets down so Cass can kick him in the face. A pair of big boots put Show down and the Empire Elbow is good for the pin at 10:29.

Rating: F+. What in the world was that supposed to be? This was all about the bad hand but somehow it became about Enzo, that loudmouthed idiot, and then Cass just wins clean. I have no idea how this was the best idea they had but it was an awful match and a big waste of time. If I ever see Enzo oiled up again, I’ll be off in the next room gouging my eyes out.

General Manager Kurt Angle and Daniel Bryan get in a YES/NO off about which show will be better for the rest of the night.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Rusev jumps him from behind before the bell and Orton is in trouble. They get inside for the bell and it’s the RKO in ten seconds. That would be your “well the card is huge and we have to cut something” match of the night.

Bayley wishes Sasha Banks good luck tonight. Banks is taking her place due to a shoulder injury.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Banks is challenging and has special gear that makes her look like a peacock (so she’s copying Charlotte tonight). Bliss gets fired up to start and slugs away in the corner but Banks flips her around and hammers at the champ’s head. One heck of a forearm drops Banks and Bliss talks some trash. With the forearms boring her, Bliss pulls Banks’ hair around the ropes and crotches her on the middle rope for painful measure. We hit the chinlock as it’s almost all Bliss in the early going.

A lot more trash talk sets up a choke shove to put Banks down again as the fans are trying to get behind Banks. The middle rope knees into the moonsault knees give Bliss two more and she drops Banks on the back of her head for the same. Bliss goes to the middle rope and chokes some more until Banks slams her down. A dropkick and clothesline put the champ down for two but she knees Banks in the face to take over again. Bliss’ Code Red out of the corner is countered into something like an Alabama Slam, followed by just kneeing the heck out of Bliss in the corner.

The Bank Statement doesn’t work as Bliss is right next to the ropes. Bliss pulls her down into the ring skirt and dumps Banks to the floor for a near countout, with Bliss freaking out when she gets back in. Twisted Bliss only gets two more and now Bliss doesn’t know what to do. Since hitting it again is out of the question, Bliss picks her up and gets pulled down into the Bank Statement. Banks’ shoulder gives out so she tries the hold again and Bliss taps at 13:17.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here with Banks shrugging off everything Bliss threw at her and winning without a ton of drama. Bliss got to show off the offense here and looked very good, though there’s not much she can do when Banks is on offense for all of a minute and a half and wins completely clean. Banks would lose the title just eight days later, continuing her trend of not being able to remain champion for very long.

Video on wrestlers auditioning to be the new Colonel Sanders. A fight breaks out and Shawn Michaels winds up winning in one of the most random, bizarre things you’ll ever see. Becky Lynch as the Colonel oddly works.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray had targeted Balor as his latest false idol, beat him on Raw, and covered him in fake blood. Balor then decided to bring the Demon back to fight as hard as he could. This worked in NXT but not up here and that was mainly for one reason: Cole explaining/hyping the Demon EVERY TWO FREAKING SECONDS, saying over and over that “the Demon is Finn Balor’s alter ego” because WWE doesn’t think its fans are that bright. I don’t think NXT ever actually explained it (if they did it was once) because they know how smart fans can be. And that’s why the Demon has never been back.

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Cole mentions the Demon idea again during Bray’s entrance but gets cut off as He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands starts playing for Finn. We get the big smoky entrance with Finn looking awesome and the camera getting an AWESOME shot of him with his back to the ring and the crowd posing with him. Balor gets to the ring and LET’S HIT THAT EXPLANATION again. Seriously it’s not exactly a character that needs to be broken down and it’s made worse when Cole does it.

Wyatt is hesitant to start and a right hand just ticks Balor off. Balor shows him how to throw some real right hands and Wyatt needs a breather on the floor. You don’t do that to Balor, who charges around the corner to drop Wyatt again. Back in and Balor isn’t phased by the upside down stare so Wyatt bails to the floor. This time it’s a big flip dive as it’s all Balor so far. Bray finally pulls him off the apron and hammers away, followed by something like a reverse Stunner out of the corner.

Of course that means a chinlock, because even though Bray is a cult leader, he still follows WWE wrestling tropes. Balor is right back up with a Pele kick and a baseball slide to the floor. The double stomp from the apron to Bray’s back keeps him in trouble, causing Graves to drop a (failed) external occipital protuberance reference. I knew I liked him for a reason.

Bray kicks him in the face and hits the release Rock Bottom for two. The running backsplash gets the same but Finn kicks him to the floor for the shotgun dropkick against the barricade. Back in and Bray scores with a kick so it’s spider walk time. Balor pops to his feet, hits a Sling Blade, another shotgun dropkick, and the Coup de Grace for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D. This was as exciting as Bray hitting some basic offense while Balor did all of his usual stuff. The problem again is in the Demon, which was what Balor would bring out for his biggest, most violent fights. When it’s just the standard wrestling match and even a pretty dominant Finn performance, the whole Demon character is pretty much a waste.

Ad for the Mae Young Classic. In other words, the modern NXT women’s division.

We recap Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose vs. the Bar, which is built around the idea of Dean and Seth not being able to trust each other. They kept offering the Shield fist until they FINALLY got back together, mainly due to having to deal with the Bar. Now they’re united after a very well done series of segments that them saving each other but not being willing to trust each other. They got in a fight though and the Bar coming out to join in was FINALLY enough to get them to agree to fight together. This was actually a heck of a build and I got sucked into it, both live and again during the recap video.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and it’s Sheamus getting taken down so the challengers can drop some elbows. Rollins Downward Spirals Cesaro into Dean’s boot and the champs are cleared out early on. A quick distraction lets Sheamus Brogue Kick Dean so Seth tries a suicide dive onto both guys. That gets him slammed down hard as momentum changes in a hurry.

We settle down to Cesaro gutwrench suplexing Seth and the chinlock goes on. Rollins fights back and hits a Blockbuster but Ambrose is still down off what is apparently the most devastating Brogue Kick of all time. Sheamus keeps Rollins in the corner as Cesaro runs into the crowd and destroys a beach ball, because Cesaro is more awesome than you. An enziguri gets Rollins out of trouble but this time it’s Cesaro cutting him off. Seth sends him outside though and Cesaro comes up holding his knee.

Rollins goes out after him with Sheamus following, meaning it’s Dean diving onto everyone at once. Back in and Rollins rolls underneath Cesaro and makes the hot tag to bring in Ambrose. Everything breaks down and Seth springboards in with a clothesline to Sheamus. There’s the double suicide dive and the fans are eating up all these double team spots. We settle down again with Ambrose powering out of the Neutralizer and hitting the rebound lariat, only to have Sheamus cut off the tag.

Ambrose catches him on top with a superplex into a very fast frog splash from Rollins but Cesaro makes the save. Rollins and Ambrose are tired of this tagging stuff and unload on Sheamus in the corner but he’s right back with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Cesaro swings Dean for all of two rotations and the Sharpshooter goes on, with Dean looking more surprised than in pain. With Dean getting close to the rope, Cesaro rolls over into a Crossface to change focal points.

Instead of going for the submission, Cesaro loads up a powerbomb with Sheamus adding a top rope clothesline for another close two. Rollins finally comes in and gets knocked outside just as fast. Dean tells the champs to bring it so they load up a spike White Noise. Hang on though as Rollins is right in there with a hurricanrana to send Cesaro into Dean and Sheamus for the save. The wind up knee into Dirty Deeds finishes Sheamus for the titles at 18:38.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but there was no other way to go with the finish. Rollins and Ambrose are a great team and the fans love them so let them have a long match and take the titles for a change. There was some chemistry here and that made for a good, long match that the show desperately needed.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens. They’ve traded the US Title for a few months now and Owens is claiming a conspiracy thanks to the referee missing his shoulder being up in the most recent title match. Therefore, Shane McMahon is guest referee tonight, despite having a history with AJ and a history of being a crooked referee.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

AJ is defending with Shane as guest referee. They get in a fight before the bell with Shane pulling them apart twice in a row, because Shane is going to be the focal point here. The bell rings and they fight out to the floor with AJ hitting a knee from the apron. Back in and AJ keeps him down, followed by a knee drop. One heck of a clothesline takes AJ’s head off and the Cannonball gets two.

The backsplash gets the same and the near fall off the Edge-O-Matic has Owens yelling at Shane. AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant and the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gives him two of his own. They’re both banged up and the delay allows Owens to “accidentally” shove Shane into the ropes to crotch AJ on top. He’s fine enough for a springboard 450, which hits Shane after Owens pulls him in. For reasons of storyline convenience, AJ is down after splashing Shane, allowing Owens to hit the Pop Up Powerbomb for two, thanks to a delayed count.

That means ANOTHER argument with Shane, allowing AJ to grab the Calf Crusher but Owens pokes him in the eye. Owens sends AJ into Shane to knock him to the floor, meaning there’s no referee to see Owens tap to another Calf Crusher. Now it’s AJ’s turn to yell at Shane, who shoves AJ into a rollup for a pretty fast two. The annoyed AJ puts him on top, only to get caught in the swinging superplex for the big crash.

Owens wins a slugout but gets reversed into a Styles Clash for a clean two. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets three, though with AJ’s foot on the ropes at one. Shane: “TWO!” That means another argument with Shane, who shoves Owens into a rollup for two, meaning they’re not repeating spots from earlier in the match. The Phenomenal Forearm into the Styles Clash retains AJ’s title at 17:23.

Rating: B-. Well of course most of the match was about Shane, because that’s what a Summerslam title match should be about. The wrestling was fine but you kept waiting on Shane to do something else. I’m not sure how this was the best they could do with Styles, but at least there’s an Owens vs. Shane story set up for the next eight months. That’s more important than the US Title and Summerslam right?

Video on some fans winning a sweepstakes and got to go to the show.

We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal and I can feel the headache coming. Mahal won the WWE Championship in a period of Vince McMahon insanity and has held it since May. Nakamura has hit Kinshasa on a bunch of people, including Cena to become #1 contender. In other words: help us Shinsuke Nakamura. You’re our only hope.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Nakamura is challenging and a live violinist plays him to the ring. The fans singing the song is awesome as usual, especially when you consider it doesn’t have words. Jinder grabs a wristlock to start so Nakamura spins around into a headlock, much to the crowd’s delight. Nakamura puts him up against the ropes for the arm shaking and the required COME ON. Mahal bails to the floor so it’s a triple COME ON, including the Singh Brothers. The fans chant for 3MB because the comedy version of Mahal is better than the main event version.

With nothing else going on, let’s go to the Japanese commentary team. I don’t speak Japanese so it’s all Greek to me. Back in and Nakamura drops a knee and hits some Good Vibrations as Mahal has nothing. As in all together, not just so far. The Singh Brothers offer a distraction though and Mahal knocks him off the apron to take over for the first time. Some knee drops set up a chinlock, followed by Mahal doing the COME ON pose but shouting his own name.

After that brilliant display of saying his name, it’s back to the chinlock. Nakamura fights up with a kick to the face and some YES Kicks to set up the running knee to the ribs. With the covers not working, Nakamura grabs a triangle choke but Mahal gets his foot in the ropes. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner hits buckle and Mahal adds a jumping knee to the face for two of his own. Mahal goes shoulder first into the post but the Singh Brothers’ distraction lets Mahal hit a chinlock slam (he has ONE MOVE and can’t even do that right) to retain at 11:25.

Rating: D-. You know, it’s been about nine months since Mahal lost the title and e-freaking-gads I had forgotten how awful his title reign really was. This felt like a bad house show main event and it’s the biggest Smackdown match on the second biggest show of the year. You can feel the fans dying out there when Mahal is….well doing anything actually, but in this case I’ll go with being on offense and winning. I remember watching Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura beat the living tar out of each other for twenty minutes at Takeover: Dallas. Now though, a weak/botched/terrible cobra clutch slam puts him down? Not a chance.

We recap the Universal Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Braun Strowman, Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe. Lesnar was announced as facing all three challengers and since he wasn’t happy, he’s threatened to leave WWE if he loses. The three challengers all say they can be the man to take out Lesnar. There’s just not much else to be said here but this is by far and away the main event.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe

Lesnar is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Cole picks Reigns to win because Reigns beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Cole: “How can you bet against that?” You pick the guy who did it first, you nitwit. Reigns is of course booed out of the building because….oh you know the drill by now.

The brawl is on to start (well duh) with Strowman throwing Reigns to the floor and Brock hitting a belly to belly on Joe. Strowman gets posted and it’s time for the Reigns vs. Lesnar showdown that no one but WWE seems to love. Booker tries to say that Lesnar knew nothing but winning in UFC, which I’ll leave you to make fun of. Some suplexes put Reigns on the floor and it’s Strowman time.

Now THIS gets the fans’ attention but Reigns and Joe are right back in to break up the fun. That lasts all of five seconds before it’s back to Strowman vs. Lesnar, meaning another YES chant. Strowman LAUNCHES Brock into the corner and hits a heck of a clothesline to put the champ on the floor. As usual, Lesnar’s selling is very underrated. Everyone is on the floor now and Joe chokes Lesnar but sidesteps a Reigns spear, sending Lesnar through the barricade. That spot will always look cool.

Strowman is back up and loads up the title (with Graves hoping he uses Saxton as a weapon), setting up a running powerslam to drive a kicking Lesnar through it. The fans REALLY like that but here’s Reigns to kick Strowman in the face and kill their buzz all over again. Joe is back up with a suicide elbow to take Reigns out, meaning the fans are won right back. Thankfully Cole is doing a great job of explaining how cool it is to see people this big doing this stuff.

That’s exactly what he should be doing and it’s working here. Strowman throws an announcers’ chair at Joe and Reigns in a cool spot, followed by a second powerslam through a table to put Lesnar down again. Heyman has a look on his face that says “well, I didn’t see that one coming”. Fans: “ONE MORE TABLE!” Greedy twits. To mix things up a bit, Strowman picks that one up and turns it on top of the already out Lesnar. Half a dozen people come out to get the table off of Lesnar and a stretcher is brought out as Heyman seems to be near tears.

We’re not done yet though as Strowman hits Joe and Reigns in the head with the steps. With the steps in the ring, Reigns fires off the corner clotheslines and hits a good steps shot into Strowman’s shoulder. Joe’s rollup gets two on Reigns but he’s right back up with a Samoan drop for two. The Superman Punch is countered into the Koquina Clutch but Strowman (with some blood next to his ear) is back in with a double chokeslam. Everyone is down so here comes Lesnar again.

Strowman is the only one on his feet so it’s time for the big showdown. A running clothesline takes Strowman to the floor and there’s a German suplex each to Joe and Reigns. Strowman comes back in and elbow his way out of a German suplex, only to get caught in the Kimura. That’s broken up with a Superman Punch, with Joe and Lesnar taking one each as well. Reigns spears Lesnar for two so here’s Strowman for a dropkick to Reigns, just because he can do that too.

The powerslam gets two on Joe with Lesnar pulling the referee out at the last second. A Superman Punch gets two on Strowman, whose kickout puts Reigns on his feet. There’s a powerslam to Reigns with Lesnar making the save but getting loaded up into the F5. That’s broken up by a Reigns spear, drawing Joe back in for a Clutch on Lesnar. Brock reverses into the F5 but Reigns is right in there with some Superman Punches. Three in a row put Lesnar down but the spear is countered into the F5 to retain Brock’s title at 20:53.

Rating: A-. What a fight and that’s all it needed to be. They were making Godzilla/King Kong references here and they nailed the idea to near perfection. The best thing here was Strowman looking awesome and like the man that could beat Lesnar if he had the chance, with the bonus of Reigns taking the fall again. It’s not like Reigns losing was going to hurt him (it hasn’t yet) so going this was was the right call. This was all about violence and that was the story: big, strong people beating each other up for twenty minutes and all of the chaos that it caused. Well done, all around.

Lesnar can barely stand to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show suffered from the same problem as the modern Wrestlemania. It’s not the length that is the problem (the show never really did drag) but rather that almost nothing has a chance to sink in. Everything jumped from one match to the other and most of the matches didn’t have a ton of time.

It was “well that happened so let’s move on” time after time and that doesn’t make for a special show. The show isn’t terrible but aside from the main event, nothing on here felt important and that’s not what Summerslam needs to be. In other words: cut some stuff out and let it breathe, which might as well be the standard operating criticism around here.

Ratings Comparison

Miz/Miztourage vs. Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan

Original: C-
Redo: C

Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Original: C

Redo: C+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: B+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Original: D

Redo: D+

Naomi vs. Natalya

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Original: D

Redo: F+

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B-

Redo: C

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Original: C+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. The Bar

Original: B

Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

Time has NOT been kind to this show and aside from two (or maybe three) matches, it’s not worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/08/20/summerslam-2017-the-star-of-stars/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,974
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

A year has passed since I saw this show and I can barely remember much about it. That’s very telling when you look at how stacked this show really is. There are multiple top level matches here and it really wasn’t clear what was going to close the show until the night of the event. Hopefully that means that this SIX HOUR show holds up. Let’s get to it.

So here’s a quick plug. I’m going through the pre-show and there’s a three expert panel of Booker T., Jerry Lawler and Lita. Earlier this year, I met all three of them at WrestleCon. If you’re ever at a Wrestlemania weekend, treat yourself to an amazing time and GO TO WRESTLECON. I met over 120 wrestlers in about four hours. Where else are you going to get to do something like that? Anyway, on with the show.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Who would have thought that Breezango would be the most entertaining out of all these teams? This is pretty much the still titleless Smackdown tag division at this point as they had to bring in the Headbangers and throw together Heath Slater and Rhyno to be able to have a tournament. This is also a rematch from Smackdown, which shows how little effort they were putting into the tag division at this point.

Gable and Breeze start things and the fans are WAY into Gable. Chad twists around as only he can to escape a wristlock and it’s off to Jey, who is quickly driven into the corner. English comes in and says that he’s what a man is. That earns him a right hand to the jaw and it’s off to Mojo to work on a wristlock. Ryder comes in to quite the reaction as Mauro says the Hype Bros have more chemistry than the Periodic Table.

Everything breaks down (What took them so long?) and Ascension clears the ring, only to have American Alpha come off the top (the same corner) with double clotheslines (that’s pure Steiner Brothers). English posts Ryder though and we take a break. Back with Gotch putting Ryder in a chinlock, followed by Viktor doing the same. The other heels take turns stomping on Ryder until Breeze grabs his own chinlock. Fandango adds a slingshot legdrop as this is going WAY longer than it needs to.

JBL thinks cold beer uniting the APA is more effective than furry selfie sticks uniting Breezango but maybe he’s wrong. Ascension knocks the good guys off the apron but Viktor misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ryder to get in a neckbreaker on Konnor. The hot tag (with a limited reaction) brings in Jimmy to clean house.

Jordan gets the real hot tag and does his fired up sequence (which he really is awesome at) with a belly to belly getting two on Breeze. We hit the parade of secondary finishers as the referee is imploring them to tag. Mojo powerbombs Breeze and Viktor out of the corner and the Usos add stereo superkicks to set up stereo dives. Back in and Grand Amplitude plants Gotch, only to have Jey tag himself in for a Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:31. Gable is really not cool with that. Eh just wait until your team is split up for a pretty lame story where Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a few minutes from this, it’s a heck of an opener. There are too many people in the match of course but they kept it moving fast enough (for the most part) to really get something fun out of it. Jordan’s house cleaning spot is a heck of a way to fire the crowd up and it made the match more fun than it should have been. Tweak this a bit (eight/ten man tag or shorten the match a bit) and it’s even better.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Sami works on D-Von’s arm to start and it’s off to Neville for more of the same. Both of them get in more shots as we hear about the rivalry over the NXT Title. I do appreciate the history, especially when Graves should know about that match very well. Bubba is sent outside but D-Von breaks up a springboard dive, allowing Bubba to nail Neville from behind to take over. The fans want tables but a back elbow to Neville’s jaw cuts them off in a hurry.

Back from a break with Bubba hitting his neckbreaker out of the corner. Things slow down even more as Bubba is talking even more than he usually does in a match. Bubba: “COME ON ENGLISH BOY! O-LAY! O-LAY!” The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. D-Von takes the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the reverse 3D gets the same. Neville escapes the regular version though and we get some heel miscommunication. The Helluva Kick sets up the Red Arrow to put Bubba away at 7:55.

Rating: C-. That would be it for the Dudleys in WWE as they would have one more segment tomorrow night where Anderson and Gallows sent them packing. It’s also pretty much it for Sami and Neville as a team, which is quite odd as you would think they would be a fine choice for a team. The match was nothing you wouldn’t expect on Raw.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

You know, because two matches just weren’t enough for the pre-show. This is the first match of the Best of Seven Series, which really wasn’t too well received. After Cole says Cesaro is facing Cesaro and both Cole and Saxton say this is about establishing physical dominance, we’re ready to go. Sheamus misses a very early Brogue Kick but the spinning springboard uppercut is blocked as well.

Cesaro charges into an uppercut but comes back with a dropkick for one. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up so Sheamus clotheslines him onto the apron instead. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s chronically taped up shoulder but Cesaro lifts him up into that kind of reverse Angle Slam of his. They’re certainly hitting each other hard here, which is pretty much the draw of the whole feud.

Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to a break. Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock because that rule even applies on pre-shows that will never end. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two as Cole runs down the pay per view card, which only makes me think that there are FAR too many titles in WWE. They fight over a suplex and fall out to the floor in a heap. Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the running uppercuts in the corner, capped off by a dropkick to knock him off the ropes.

The apron superplex (which wasn’t from the apron) gets two but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for two. There’s the super Regal Roll for two more and frustration is really setting in. Another Brogue Kick attempt is countered by one heck of a clothesline though and Cesaro adds a high crossbody for two of his own. Cesaro tries the Sharpshooter but Sheamus gets to the ropes. Back up and a poke to the eye sets up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other and it was a fun match but it also brings up the problem: I’m not going to want to watch them fight six more times. No matter how good things are, having them happen so many times in a row over several weeks is going to get tiresome. It happens in all these series and it’s happening here too.

And now, after more wrestling than you get on an average Smackdown, here’s the actual pay per view.

The opening video looks at New York City, with the narrator telling you how AMAZING the city is. I’m not sure if New York City or Texas is worse about bragging about their home’s greatness. As usual, this switches over to a series of quick looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Well duh. That’s about as easy of a choice for an opener as you could ever find for this show. As you might expect, the crowd eats up the opening promo with a spoon and of course we hear a ton of New York City music references. Included are Frank Sinatra, Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z, plus more that probably go over my head. Cass adds in a few songs of his own as this is the only way this show could have opened. Since Graves is the best heel commentator in wrestling today though, he points out that Enzo is from New Jersey.

Jericho and Owens jump Enzo at the bell and the STUPID IDIOT chants start rolling. Enzo comes back with a crossbody and a running right hand to the jaw for two. It’s off to Cass, who drags Owens inside for a beal. That’s some scary power. Enzo gets launched into the corner to crush Jericho but the Canadians bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cass who tosses Enzo over the top onto them in a huge crash. I’ve always loved that spot as it just looks cool.

Back in and Enzo ax handles Owens but turns into a middle rope dropkick from Jericho. The Canadian violence begins with Owens kneeing Enzo from the apron and doing his dance on the apron in a rather funny visual. Owens’ comedic skills aren’t given enough credit more often than not. It’s back to Jericho for the Arrogant Cover and a chinlock with Owens telling Jericho to do it like he taught him.

Owens comes in and adds a gutbuster for two, followed by the running start for a chinlock. It takes real talent to turn a chinlock into an art form but Owens has somehow pulled it off. Enzo finally rolls away but Jericho is there to break up the diving tag attempt. Owens drops the frog splash for two and his stunned looked on the kickout is the usual awesome visual. Enzo gets pulled off the corner to make things even worse but, after blowing a kiss to Jericho, misses the Cannonball.

That means the hot tag to Cass and everything breaks down. Jericho dives into a big boot but Owens breaks up the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Cass gets posted on the floor and now the Cannonball against the barricade connects. Back in and Enzo scores with his top rope DDT on Jericho with Owens making the save. A pop up Codebreaker (didn’t look great as Jericho was too far away) ends Enzo at 12:09.

Rating: C+. Odd choice for an ending aside (not surprising of course but odd), this was a good way to get the crowd going. I could have gone for another hope spot from Enzo and more of Cass cleaning house but that pop up Codebreaker could have been a heck of a finisher if done right. Nice opener, though would it have killed them to put Enzo and Cass over in Brooklyn?

Smackdown bosses Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon run into Raw General Manager Mick Foley to brag about how awesome their shows are. Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his son come in to ask what Foley is thinking to work with Stephanie. He rants about abuse of power but realizes she’s right behind him. Stephanie yells at him about how great it is to abuse power but thankfully New Day comes up. As the Smackdown bosses and Foley much on cereal, New Day asks Jon if he’d like to do something. He gets out as fast as he can and Stephanie isn’t amused.

We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Sasha won the Women’s Title on the first exclusive show after the Brand Split and tonight is the rematch. The other big idea here is Charlotte never loses singles matches on pay per view and Banks has to recreate the magic one more time.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Some early WOOing sets up a slightly less early Bank Statement but Charlotte bails to the floor. Back in and Banks climbs the corner for a wristdrag before sending Charlotte face first into the middle buckle. Banks gets caught on top though and Charlotte basically drops her onto the ropes for a backbreaker which almost had to hurt horribly. The fact that Banks had a bad back coming in and Charlotte still did some rather sloppy moves like that got her in some hot water.

We hit a Gory Stretch on the champ for a bit but she comes back with a pair of running clotheslines. That just earns her another backbreaker and Charlotte stomps away at the back. The Figure Eight is broken up but Sasha misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Charlotte picks her up for a super Razor’s Edge but since that would, you know, kill Sasha, she reverses into a hurricanrana to put them both down.

Back up and a WOO earns Charlotte a string of slaps before Sasha avoids a charge in the corner and hits the double knees to the back for two. Charlotte kicks her in the leg to break up a charge but gets knocked outside again, setting up the double knees from the apron. Back in and the Backstabber doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement (thankfully too as the Natural Selection clearly didn’t send Sasha’s head anywhere near the mat).

Charlotte makes the rope for the break and takes out the knee again. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two so she yells about being better than Sasha. Another Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:52. Saxton: “Just like that?”

Rating: B. This was just a straight match and that’s the key to the whole thing. The women are getting to show that they can have a good match without the smoke and mirrors, which never would have been the case otherwise. If nothing else it got the kind of time that a title match deserves to develop the story of Banks having a bad back (which would keep her on the shelf for about a month). Strong match here and another of many to come for these two.

Doctors Anderson and Gallows (oh man I had forgotten how stupid this was) run into AJ Styles for a Club reunion. Finn Balor comes up and doesn’t think much of it. Somehow, this has still never gone anywhere.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending after winning a triple threat match. Miz comes out wearing a glittery Phantom of the Opera mask while Maryse is basically in a one piece swimsuit. In a sign of the changing times, Mauro talks about Miz’s look instead of Maryse. Miz stomps away in the corner and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Crews gets the same off a rollup, only to walk into the short DDT as it’s almost all Miz to start. We’re already in the reverse chinlock before Miz sends him into the apron to cut off a comeback. Miz takes too long coming off the top though and dives into a dropkick to put both guys down.

A crossbody into a nipup has Miz in trouble as JBL rants about Otunga calling Crews a Jackrobat (jacked acrobat). The Toss Powerbomb is countered so Crews gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. An overhead belly to belly sets up a standing moonsault, which Otunga sums up perfectly: “A man with that kind of size and that kind of muscle should not be able to do that.” Miz teases taking a walk but Maryse cuts him off, allowing Miz to post Crews. The Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Standard Smackdown match and something that could have been cut, or at least put in the Kickoff Show in the place of the Dudleys match. Crews felt like an easy obstacle to overcome because there was nowhere near enough build to set the match up. Put some more effort into the title already people, as it’s just not working.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. They set up the first match when Styles and Cena were in the ring together, only to have Anderson and Gallows interfere to turn Styles heel. Styles went on a great rant about how Cena was a fraud who couldn’t hang in the ring with someone like him. Cena went into a great speech about how he’s here out of love because it never gets old. AJ beat him at Money in the Bank with assistance from Anderson and Gallows, setting up a rematch between the two here.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This just feels big. AJ grabs a waistlock to start but is easily knocked away. The announcers go out of the way to put over how AJ has been on big shows before but nothing this big. Oh I don’t know. I remember him being at that Wrestlemania thing earlier in the year. The dueling chants begin and the AJ STYLES side is pretty clearly stronger.

Cena’s headlock is countered and AJ scores with the dropkick but the bragging earns AJ a right to the jaw. A hard whip into the corner sends AJ down for a bit with Cena doing some rare trash talking. They head to the floor and the fans start belting out JOHN CENA SUCKS, only to have AJ turn it into some gasping with a suplex onto the apron. Cena is right back with a dropkick for two and it’s time for some more right hands to the head.

AJ comes back with a forearm to the face, earning himself Cena’s finishing sequence. It’s way too early for the AA though as AJ hits a Pele, followed by the Styles Clash for a close two. The fans were actually more into the near fall than I was expecting as you would think they’d know better this early. The AA gives Cena two of his own and both guys are down again.

Styles slips out of the super AA and grabs the torture rack for the spinout powerbomb. They’re trading bombs at this point and it’s the only way they should be going here. Something like a Big Ending gives Cena two but he can’t get the STF. Instead it’s the AA neckbreaker for two on Cena (not the same as the AA JBL) but the springboard 450 only hits mat.

A faceplant puts Cena down again though and AJ can’t follow up. He manages the springboard forearm but Cena reverses into the worst STF I’ve ever seen. Thankfully AJ slips out and grabs a Crossface, which Cena powers out of as well. That’s reversed into the Calf Crusher which AJ is smart enough to twist away from the ropes. Cena reverses that into another horrible STF (AJ’s face is on the mat) so AJ is quickly up with the enziguri. A tornado DDT plants AJ and there’s the top rope Fameasser for two.

Cena heads up again and gets taken down with a super hurricanrana (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”), followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for a VERY near fall (drawing Mauro to his feet). It’s Cena’s turn now as he takes AJ up for the super AA and….it’s two. NOW the fans know it’s on as I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that before. Cena is stunned and the AA is countered into another Clash. The Phenomenal Forearm puts Cena away clean at 23:10.

Rating: A. I know it’s not going to sound good but a lot of this goes to Cena. At the end of the day, the crowd completely lost it when AJ kicked out of that super AA. AJ wins here not because he got a pin but because he beat Cena clean. That’s a very, VERY short list and that’s what makes it feel so important. Think back to how big of a deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan clean. That felt like an era changing win, and while this isn’t quite that big, it’s the same idea.

Oh yeah and it’s an outstanding match and possibly the Match of the Year. This was the heavyweight slugfest formula as they beat the heck out of each other with both guys hitting everything they could until one of them couldn’t get up. That’s a really hard match to pull off and these two did it in an incredible match. It belonged on the grand stage and gives Cena one heck of a mountain to overcome, which he somehow did in a better match at the Royal Rumble.

Post match Cena takes off his wristband and leaves it in the ring. He would do dark matches for a few weeks and then be back wrestling on TV in less than a month so this didn’t mean anything.

Some fans won a contest and got some stuff. In other words, let the fans have a breather.

Here’s Jon Stewart for your celebrity appearance. He makes fun of himself for interfering in Cena’s match last year and says the big lesson he learned was to tuck your shirt in when you’re taking an AA. As for tonight though, he’s here to be in New Day’s corner to help deal with Anderson and Gallows. In honor of the moment, he throws on a unicorn horn and does Big E.’s (out injured due to getting crotched against the post) entrance.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending of course and unfortunately Anderson and Gallows are still doing their stupid doctor nonsense, complete with jars for Kofi, Xavier and Jon’s testicles. I hear Paige can help you with one of those. Anderson headlocks Kofi down to start but he’s right back up with the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Kofi flips onto his feet and gets two off the standing double stomp. You can tell the fans are still recovering from the previous match and it’s off to Woods.

That goes badly as the he gets taken into the corner for a beating from Gallows. At least it does bring the fans back a bit with the rhythmic clapping. Gallows gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede (which they’ve kind of stopped doing in recent months) and the fans are really not responding. Woods sends him outside so Kofi can hit a running dive (while posing in the air) to take him down again. Back in and Gallows kicks Kofi in the head to take over for real this time with Anderson working on the arm.

That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Woods to clean house. Anderson sends him to the apron for an enziguri, setting up the rope walk elbow drop. Everything breaks down and Anderson kicks Kofi in the chest, setting up the Magic Killer. Stewart gets in though and it’s time to crotch him as well. Hang on though as he has to tuck in his shirt first. Cue the returning Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:09.

Rating: D. I don’t know if it was the previous match or what but sweet goodness the fans did NOT care for this one. It’s not a good match in the first place as Anderson and Gallows aren’t funny in the doctor roles, but the bigger problem here was the focus being on Stewart at the end. Oh and the ending sets up a rematch, which really isn’t what they need to be going with here. Bad match but Big E.’s return did wake up the crowd.

Big E. drinks the fluid in the jar holding his “testicles”. Stewart dances with New Day and the fans…well they care when Big E. dances at least.

We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph won a six way match to earn the shot and then it all went nuts. Ziggler started talking about how he was tired of being told that he always either too good or not good enough. It was time to turn up the jets and become champion for the third time. Serious Ziggler was nice but I don’t think anyone was buying him as having a real chance here. You know, because he’s Dolph Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and Shane and Daniel are here for no apparent reason. The fans are behind Ziggler and they trade some grappling on the mat with Ziggler getting the better of it (not exactly a surprise). The threat of a neckbreaker sends Ambrose bailing to the floor so Dolph splashes him against the barricade.

Back in and Ziggler’s jumping DDT is countered with Dean throwing him outside again. Ziggler escapes a super Dirty Deeds so Dean slaps on a half crab of all things. You can tell Dean is playing the subtle heel here as the smark crowd is always going to cheer for Ziggler. Dean heads up top and gets dropkicked out of the air but he’s right back with a double chickenwing facebuster.

Ambrose tunes up the band (which is now mocking Ziggler instead of anything involving Shawn Michaels) but shakes his head and tries Dirty Deeds instead. That’s reversed into the jumping DDT and both guys are down again. A double collision gives us another lay down period until Dean is up first and hammering away.

The top rope elbow gets two so Ziggler grabs the sleeper, earning them both a tumble out to the floor. Ziggler gets in the superkick on the floor but it’s barely two back inside. The Zig Zag gets the same but Dean pops back up with the rebound lariat. Ziggler catches Dean on top and pulls him back down, right into Dirty Deeds to retain the title at 15:22.

Rating: D+. And that people, is Ziggler choking again. This would lead to him saying he’s never won the big one, which would turn into him never holding the World Title that long because holding the title is more important than winning it. The match was nothing all that good as we were just waiting on Dirty Deeds, which only happened so Dean could keep it warm for AJ next month. That was completely obvious the second AJ pinned Cena again and that’s all this title needed to do.

Package on Summerslam weekend.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Eva Marie vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Dang I didn’t know the Glow was a year old. Actually hang on a minute as Eva Marie is suffering from exhaustion, anxiety and stress (likely brought on by reading too many Wellness Violation messages, which meant she would never wrestle again) so we have a replacement. At least we got that amazing entrance one more time.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

So yeah, you know full well that Nikki is going to be all that matters in this match because IT’S HER BIG COMEBACK THAT EVERYONE TOTALLY CARES ABOUT BECAUSE WE LOVE HER SO MUCH! She does get one heck of a pop though, which is rather scary. During her entrance, Mauro declares her return “miraculous”. Oh man this is going to be a long one.

Bliss rolls Becky up to start and gets in a hard slap for good measure. Naomi comes in to scare Alexa off so it’s Natalya instead. A forearm puts Natalya down and the splits legdrop gets two. Carmella comes in for the Staten Island Shuffle before a missed charge sends Natalya outside. Back in and a powerslam out of the corner plants Carmella before it’s off to Nikki, the heel, for a strong face pop.

We hit the chinlock but hang on as we need some Nikki pushups. Alexa chokeshoves Carmella down for the moonsault knees to the ribs as the crowd is dead all over again. The abdominal stretch keeps things slow until Carmella finally rolls over and makes the hot tag to Becky. All three heels are send into the corner for the springboard kicks from Lynch, followed by a Bexploder on Natalya.

Becky’s top rope legdrop gets two with Nikki making the save. A blind tag brings in Naomi for the dancing kicks with the fans just not reacting at all. Bliss’ springboard splash hits knees so it’s off to Nikki vs. Carmella. A bad looking Bronco Buster gets two on Nikki and everything breaks down. Nikki’s big forearm sets up the Rack Attack 2.0 (Nikki: “I’m back.”) for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: D. This was all about Nikki’s return and that’s not enough to carry a dull match. Naomi’s Glow stuff wasn’t over yet, Becky was stuck around people who weren’t up to her level and Carmella was showing that she didn’t need to be on the main roster yet. The same was true for Alexa and Natalya was her usual self. Just not a good match and it showed the lack of depth to the division.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Rusev and Lana were married and so Reigns interrupted for no apparent reason to insult them and shove them into a cake.

Maria Menunos interviews Rusev and Lana, who don’t like her questions about Reigns. They won’t stand for this and Lana is sure that her husband will destroy Reigns.

We recap the Universal Title match. Basically we need a new title due to the Brand Split and Universal Title was the best they could come up with. Seth Rollins was put into the match as Raw’s #1 draft pick and Finn Balor earned his way in by winning a series of matches. Not much else to it as there’s no major animosity between them but it’s better than pulling the title out of a suitcase.

Seth did get in a great promo talking about how he’s done everything Balor has done but he’s done it a little bit better. He’s not wrong, though that’s not the best thing to do when you have someone so new to the main roster. Then Balor showed up as the Demon and scared Rollins to death.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes and the title (which isn’t that well received due to a bad case of being hideous) is vacant coming in. Unless I’m forgetting something, to date this is the only time Balor has wrestled as the Demon on the main roster. We get the Big Match Intros and the title itself receives some hearty boos. Balor dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace.

Instead Balor hits a suicide dive to the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee back inside. They head outside again with Seth getting in his first offense via a suplex on the floor. Balor is right back with something like a Phenomenal Forearm off the barricade. Back in again and Balor hits a basement dropkick for two as this is almost one sided so far. Finn stays on the leg as the fans are singing something.

Balor jumps over the ropes but Rollins slides between his legs and powerbombs him into the barricade, completely destroying Balor’s shoulder and putting him on the shelf for the better part of eight months. We’re less than four minutes in though and you can see the shoulder looking all messed up. Back in and Seth gets two off a backbreaker, setting up a chinlock. The chants are still going and it sounds like THAT TITLE SUCKS to the tune of John Cena Sucks.

Seth starts the trash talk and cuts off a comeback attempt. A snapmare into a kick to the back has Finn in even more trouble but Seth would rather walk around than follow up. It’s back to the chinlock for a good while until the springboard knee to the head sets up Seth’s frog splash for two. What looks like a Rainmaker is countered into a DDT to give Balor his first major offense in a long time and he follows up with some forearms.

A basement dropkick sets up the Sling Blade but Seth kicks him down without much effort. An enziguri stuns Balor but he’s right back with the Pele, earning a very nice round of applause. If nothing else the chants about the title have stopped. 1916 (reverse implant DDT) gives Finn two but the Coup de Grace is countered into a triangle choke of all things. Finn falls outside because rope breaks don’t count (anything goes remember) and things slow down a bit.

Back in and the buckle bomb sets up the low superkick for two on Balor with Seth looking stunned on the kickout. A small package driver gets the same count and reaction so Seth goes up, allowing Balor to hit a very loud enziguri to put him on the floor. Balor adds a shotgun dropkick to send him into the barricade, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head for two. The Coup de Grace misses and it’s a Pedigree for two. Finn counters a second Pedigree into a double stomp, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 19:23.

Rating: B+. When you factor in that shoulder injury, this is quite the impressive performance. Above all else though, how good is it that Balor won the title here? If he loses his first major pay per view match and then goes away until April, he’s lucky to come back to the cruiserweight division.

This was a heck of a match with both guys beating the heck out of each other. It took some time to get built up but once they finally got there, the fans really started to accept things, which is a very positive sign. Balor is someone who is going to get a very positive reaction no matter what and giving him the title here was entirely the right call.

Balor can barely move his right arm after the match but finally holds the title up. On his WWE 24 special, he said you could feel and hear the shoulder crunching and crackling as he lifted the title and it probably did more damage to the arm.

The pre-show channel chats a bit and throws us to a KFC ad with Dolph Ziggler dressing up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz dressed as a chicken. It’s actually dumber than you remember it being.

Here’s Lana to introduce Rusev, albeit while wearing half of a wedding dress, the bottom of which looks like a diaper. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the roster but she looks ridiculous here.

US Title: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is challenging and the booing is strong with this one. Rusev jumps him before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Roman being sent into the steps. The fans chant RUSEV MACHKA because they’ve given up on America over their hatred for Reigns. Roman gets in a Superman Punch as the bell hasn’t rung yet. They fight over a chair with Reigns getting the better of it and destroying Rusev. Reigns finally leaves but comes back with a spear, all while the fans chant WE WANT SLATER. No match of course, likely due to time issues.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar. This match was announced as Orton’s return match from surgery and the build focused on Orton being able to hit the RKO anytime, including a sweet moment where Orton interrupted a Lesnar promo with an RKO. The hype video even includes some OVW clips as they came up through developmental together and debuted within a few months of each other. This had a heck of a build and felt like something important but the question was whether Lesnar would have an actual match or just do his usual Lesnar stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introduction, saying he’s conquering out of the University of Suplex City. Brock seems to get into his MMA stance to start before driving Orton into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Orton escapes the first German suplex attempt but can’t hit the RKO.

Now the first suplex connects (with Mauro knowing that it’s the 33^rd Lesnar has hit at Summerslam because he’s awesome that way) and Brock follows with two more. Orton is almost out on his feet so Lesnar suplexes him again. It’s nothing but suplexes at this point and it’s already getting dull. They head outside for a much needed change of pace with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton gets thrown from the front row through the table as this is dominance. The other table is loaded up but whatever Lesnar is trying is countered into the RKO onto (not through) the table. The hanging DDT plants Lesnar back inside and another RKO gets two. Orton realizes he has no choice and tries the Punt, only to have it reversed into the F5 (bad one) for two more.

That’s enough for Lesnar so he takes off the gloves and pads and hammers on Orton. An elbow to the head actually busts Orton open VERY badly. Lesnar just keeps hammering on him while the fans chant GOLDBERG until the referee FINALLY stops it at 11:47. I’ve heard a bunch of answers about what happened but I believe this was the planned ending and a hard way opening.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work when it happened and it didn’t work again this time around. Lesnar suplexing Orton for five minutes then selling a few big moves doesn’t make me think it’s an awesome main event. This was everything wrong with Lesnar’s current WWE run in one match and that made for a really dull match, save for the odd finish that seemed designed to protect Orton. You know, after he was basically squashed.

Lesnar keeps hammering on him until the always intimidating Shane McMahon comes out, earning himself an F5 (which thankfully didn’t lead anywhere). Heyman panics as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you cut an hour (or more) out of this, it’s bordering on the classic level. As it is, this is just a good show that runs WAY too long. At some point you have to cut something out and WWE just refuses to do that. Cut out the Dudleys match or the women’s tag and give us some breathing room here because sweet goodness this show could use it.

Now that being said, there’s some outstanding stuff on here with the Styles vs. Cena match as an instant classic, the Women’s Title being very good, a great Universal Title match and really only the Tag Team Title match being without much value. The show is certainly good and the positives outweigh the negatives but unless the show is a masterpiece, fans are going to start losing interest near the end. It’s a solid show but cut out a good forty minutes to really make it great.

Ratings Comparison

American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Original: C

2017 Redo: B-

Dudley Boyz vs. Neville/Sami Zayn

Original: C

2017 Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

2017 Redo: B

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Original: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Original: B

2017 Redo: B

Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Original: C

2017 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A

2017 Redo: A

New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

2017 Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Original: C

2017 Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

2017 Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2017 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

2017 Redo: B-

That’s quite the drop on Ambrose vs. Ziggler and Lesnar vs. Orton. Some of them are spot on though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/08/21/summerslam-2016-they-didnt/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

No Mercy 2016
Date: October 9, 2016
Location: Golden 1 Center, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 14,324
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

So for some reason someone wanted me to redo this show, though it was a few years ago (because that’s how long it takes me to get from stuff other than weekly shows) so there is a good chance they aren’t even around anymore. This is a Smackdown exclusive show, as we’re fresh off the new Brand Split, with a main event of new Smackdown World Champion Dean Ambrose defending against John Cena and Dean Ambrose. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Hype Bros/American Alpha vs. Ascension/Vaudevillains

This show is less than six years old and seven of these eight wrestlers are gone from the active roster. Gable wrestles English down to start and hands it off to Jordan. The Vaudevillains are taken down without much trouble so it’s Viktor coming in to headlock Ryder (who the fans really like). That doesn’t last long either as it’s off to the very hyped Rawley, who takes Viktor down as well. Everything breaks down and the good guys clear the ring to send us to a break.

Back with Ryder in trouble as Ascension takes turns beating him down. English comes in to stomp away and put on a chinlock of his own. Ryder’s escape attempt is driven (hard) back into the corner and Konnor comes in to glare. Ryder does manage to escape but Ascension is smart enough to pull his partners down. That doesn’t last long either as the hot tag brings in Jordan to clean house. Everything breaks down and Gable hits a high crossbody, setting up Grand Amplitude to finish English at 9:09.

Rating: C. The high level of chinlockery hurt this a bit but they did the right thing by having the entertaining teams go in there and do their thing. American Alpha was so good at what they did and the Hype Bros were indeed good at getting the crowd going. That left the Vaudevillains as passable heels and the Ascension as…..boy were those Vaudevillains decent heels.

The opening video has a Biblical theme, focusing on the major matches and asking for mercy for every bad thing people have done.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Styles is defending after having beaten both of them in singles matches and Cena is hunting for World Title #16. That being said, you would think someone with those skills would get a better reception than a JOHN CENA SUCKS chant. After the entrances, we get a video of Styles beating Cena at Summerslam and then Ambrose at Backlash to win the title. Shane McMahon made the title match and here we go, with Cena wanting the title and Ambrose saying Cena can’t do it anymore.

With that out of the way, we ring the bell and it’s a three way staredown to start. None of them can hit an early finisher so it’s a triple clothesline to put everyone down. Ambrose is up first and knocks them outside, with Styles being sent into the announcers’ table. Cena catches a diving Ambrose and drives him back first into the post, leaving Styles to hit the slingshot forearm.

Back in and Ambrose snaps Styles’ throat across the rope but can’t suplex him to the floor. That’s fine with Cena, who German suplexes both of them at once. With Ambrose knocked outside, Cena plants Styles for a quick two and is already looking banged up. Styles is fine enough to flip out of the AA though and an enziguri drops Cena. Ambrose comes back in and is promptly sent over the top for a crash onto the steps. The Code Red gives Cena two on Styles but the super AA is countered into a torture rack powerbomb for Styles’ own near fall.

Back up and Cena and Styles trade sleepers until Ambrose comes back in for one of his own on Cena. That’s broken up and Cena initiates the finishing sequence on Ambrose, at least until Styles puts Cena down for two. Ambrose faceplants Styles for two but gets sent outside, allowing Cena to beat on Styles. Hold on though as Ambrose comes back in with the standing elbow drop for two and the Phenomenal Forearm sends Cena outside.

Styles snaps off a super hurricanrana to Ambrose, who rolls it through into a sunset flip for two. A double clothesline leaves them both down so here is Cena again. The Shuffle hits Styles but Ambrose breaks it up, only to get caught with an AA for two. The STF has Ambrose in trouble but Styles makes the save and knocks Cena off the apron. Styles’ springboard 450 gets two on Ambrose so Cena comes back in to STF Styles, with Ambrose preventing the tap (how he is preventing Styles from saying I QUIT isn’t clear).

The double AA is broken up though and Styles kicks Cena in the head for another triple knockdown. Cena is back up and powerbombs Ambrose out of the corner but gets pulled into the Calf Crusher. Ambrose breaks that up and Calf Crushes Styles for a change, with Cena adding the STF.

Styles taps at 19:26 but since it was a double submission, it means nothing and they all keep fighting. That didn’t make sense when I watched it live and it still doesn’t now. Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds on Cena so Styles pulls the referee out, earning himself a suicide dive. Back in and Cena hits the super AA on Ambrose but Styles chairs Cena down and pins him to retain at 21:40.

Rating: B. They started big on this show and the three of them had a heck of a match in this spot. The match had a cool structure to it as Styles was doing the high flying, Ambrose was the wild brawler and Cena was there with the power. It made for a very good match, save for the dumb double pin thing. I’m not sure how much sense that makes, but Styles getting a pin in this spot is a great thing for his title reign.

We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton. Bray targeted Orton and took him out at Backlash and it’s time for the two to fight.

Becky Lynch has a medical issue and can’t defend the Smackdown Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss but Bliss will still have a match.

Nikki Bella vs. Carmella

Nikki came back from injury earlier this year but got jumped by Carmella twice in the same night. Carmella jumps her again but gets thrown around by the hair as Nikki is doing her powerhouse thing. A baseball slide sends Carmella to the floor, where Carmella drops her throat first across the barricade. Nikki’s back is bent around the post as Carmella gets a bit more cocky (shocking I know).

We hit the chinlock with some screaming, though there isn’t much noise for it to cover. Nikki fights out and hits a kind of spear, setting up the Bella Buster (what a witty and clever name) for two. A small package gives Nikki the same so she smashes Carmella with the forearm. Carmella is fine enough to grab the Code Of Silence to send a screaming Nikki (I think?) to the ropes. The frustrated Carmella pounds away but gets caught in the Rack Attack 2.0 to give Nikki the pin at 8:05.

Rating: C. It’s kind of fascinating to look back at Nikki, as she really wasn’t that bad in the ring. The fans certainly liked her and she could do a good enough powerhouse match. The problem is that she got so much attention over the years and did had a limit to her skills, but knowing what else you could get in the division from the Women’s Revolution didn’t help things in the slightest. For now though, fighting through an injury to beat Carmella was a nice way to go and the match was hardly bad.

Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan (Smackdown bosses) are happy with how the show is going so far. Miz and Maryse come in with the former promising to retire Dolph Ziggler, which he blames on Bryan. No matter how many times you watch Rocky IV, Apollo Creed always dies. After he wins tonight, Miz wants to renegotiate his contract because some of that Ziggler money will be available.

Tag Team Titles: Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Usos

Slater and Rhyno, the inaugural Smackdown Tag Team Champions, are defending after having won the titles at Backlash. This was part of a pretty entertaining story that saw Slater desperately trying to get a job anyway he could and winding up winning the titles with Rhyno as a result. Rhyno punches Jimmy into the corner to start and hands it off to Heath, who gets taken into the wrong corner so the twins can start up the beating.

The chinlock goes on for all of five seconds before Heath fights up and brings Rhyno back in. The Gore is broken up by a Jey distraction and the running Umaga Attack in the corner takes over. It’s time to start in on Rhyno’s knee, with Jimmy holding a kneebar so Jey can hit a basement dropkick. Rhyno fights up again and spinebusters his way to freedom, allowing the hot tag to Heath.

Everything breaks down and Jey hits a pop up Samoan drop for two on Heath. The double superkick is broken up but Rhyno gets dropkicked through the ropes. Jimmy goes up but gets powerslammed down (cool) for two. Back up and Jimmy hits the dropkick to the knee (an Usos standard) has Heath in trouble, only to have Rhyno come back with the Gore. The tag to Rhyno sets up another Gore to retain the titles at 10:18.

Rating: C+. This felt like a rather good TV match and given how new the titles still were, this was about as good as it was going to be. Slater and Rhyno were the feel good champions and aren’t likely to hold the titles very long, but at least they had a nice pay per view title defense on the way there. I’m thinking the Usos will be fine too.

Bray Wyatt is in his rocking chair and seems to be speaking in tongues. He shifts over to an English version of He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and laughs a bit. More on this later I’m assuming.

We recap Jack Swagger beating Baron Corbin on Smackdown when Corbin might not have actually tapped.

Baron Corbin vs. Jack Swagger

Corbin starts fast by trying/missing the slide under the ropes clothesline, earning himself a clothesline out to the floor. Swagger goes out too but gets sent into the steps, which Corbin kicks onto his hand to put him in real trouble. The whip into the corner drops Swagger again and it’s back to the hand. Swagger powers up and hits a suplex, setting up the Vader Bomb for two.

Corbin knocks him down a few more times though and stands there, making it clear that Corbin’s original look wasn’t a great way to go for such posing. A quick ankle lock gets Swagger out of trouble but the hand gives out again. That and a shot to the eye set up End of Days to finish Swatter at 7:27.

Rating: D+. This is what you get from a Brand Split show, as you’re left with a still not very good Corbin getting match against Swagger that felt a lot longer than it was. Swagger was so done at this point but WWE kept putting him out there to come up shorter and shorter every time. Corbin would have a future, but there was A LOT of tweaking to do on the way there.

We recap Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Title. Ziggler has been on a losing streak and isn’t sure if he can do this anymore. At the same time, Miz is on an absolute roll as Intercontinental Champion and has held the title since the night after Wrestlemania. Therefore, it was time for the latest Ziggler reheat, where he does one or two things rather well and gets us to this match. Somehow this was built around the idea of Ziggler never living up to his potential while showing the pretty lengthy amount of titles and accomplishments he has earned. Therefore, it’s title vs. career after a pretty nice package.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Miz, with Maryse, is defending and this is title vs. career. An early clothesline misses for Miz and Ziggler hits a dropkick for two. Another clothesline sets up a Cactus Clothesline and they’re both on the floor. A kick to the ropes slows Ziggler down on the way back in though and Miz sends him hard into the corner. The fans are suddenly all over Miz as he grabs a double underhook crank, followed by another clothesline.

Since he hasn’t done it in a bit, Miz channels Daniel Bryan with the surfboard leg stop, setting up another double arm crank. A neckbreaker sets up the running corner dropkicks but Ziggler hits his own dropkick to put them both down. Back up and Ziggler hits his own neckbreaker into the jumping elbow for two, meaning frustration can set in. They trade rollups for two, though Miz putting his feet on the ropes kind of takes away the balance.

Ziggler’s running DDT is countered but Miz’s standing version isn’t, leaving both of them down again. Miz starts in on the knee and, after having his slingshot powerbomb countered, grabs the Figure Four in the relative area of the center of the ring. The rope is eventually grabbed and Ziggler is able to hit the jumping DDT for two. With nothing else working, Miz takes a turnbuckle pad off and sends Ziggler into the steel, setting up the slingshot sitout powerbomb (maybe the fourth time he has tried it) for two more.

The YES Kicks rock Ziggler but he ducks the big one and hits the Zig Zag for two, with the fans WAY into this. The superkick is countered into a Skull Crushing Finale attempt, which is countered into a rollup to give Ziggler another near fall. Ziggler grabs the sleeper and this time it’s Miz grabbing the rope. With the referee checking on Miz, Maryse blinds Ziggler with the hairspray and the Skull Crushing Finale connects for….two, as Ziggler gets his foot on the rope.

That’s a BIG reaction from the crowd so the frustrated Miz goes right back to the leg. Ziggler loses his boot though and it’s a socked superkick for…no cover, as Maryse calls out the Spirit Squad. Ziggler takes one of them out but gets Skull Crushing Finaled for a VERY near fall. The Squad is ejected and it’s a superkick to give Ziggler the pin and the title at 19:47.

Rating: B. The action was good but the drama is what carried this one the entire way. The fans were WAY into this one and wanted to see Ziggler pull this off in the end. That is what happens when you build up a good story and make the fans want to see the payoff so well done on all counts. As usual, Miz continues to be able to have an awesome match when he has the right kind of setup and that is what they pulled off here. Not a classic, but a heck of a story.

Randy Orton looks at himself in a mirror and the reflection gets distorted.

The Kickoff Show panel chats about the show.

Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi

Naomi is a replacement for the injured Becky Lynch and comes out after Alexa goes on a long rant about Lynch. Bliss runs her over to start but gets kicked into the corner, setting up the split legged moonsault for an early two. Back up and Bliss hits a knee to take over again before starting in on the arm. The fans want Becky as Bliss cranks on the arm and shouts NO YOU DON’T.

We hit the seated armbar before some stomping sets up…uh…another seated armbar. Bliss: “You’re not on my level Naomi! They don’t even like you!” Naomi fights up and hits the Rear View (or at least close to it, as it looked like she didn’t make much contact) for two. Bliss goes for the arm but Naomi stacks her up for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D+. Yeah this didn’t exactly work, with the big move from Naomi missing and the ending coming off as lame and out of nowhere. I’m sure they’re trying to set up some kind of triple threat or something close to it, but there is only so much interesting in whatever they’re doing. Bad match, though it was there in the death spot anyway.

Hell In A Cell rundown.

We recap bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton. Wyatt attacked him at Backlash and then did his usual mind games, only to have Orton do the same thing. In other words, more Bray Wyatt stuff to set up a feud and it’s the main event.

Bray Wyatt vs. Randy Orton

Dang the Fireflies are still an awesome look. Orton shoves him outside off a lockup to start and it’s time for some breathing. Back in and Orton pulls him down by the hair and then hammers away in the corner. Sister Abigail is broken up but so is the hanging DDT, with Wyatt pulling him outside this time. An RKO attempt is countered with a shove over the announcers’ table and Wyatt shoves him into the barricade to make it worse.

Back in and Orton fights out of the chinlock so Wyatt slams him down without much effort. Wyatt takes WAY too long to set up a middle rope backsplash and crashes down hard. Orton starts slugging away and hits a clothesline out of the corner but has to get out of Sister Abigail.

The powerslam gives Orton two but Wyatt hits a running crossbody for two of his own. Another RKO and Sister Abigail are countered but Wyatt hits the release Rock Bottom for two. They head outside again but this time Orton avoids the backsplash onto the steps. Back in and the hanging DDT connects for two….but then the lights go out and Luke Harper is here. The distraction sets up the Sister Abigail to give Wyatt the pin at 15:41.

Rating: C+. In other words, Wyatt does his usual match and then has some kind of screwy finish to get him on to whatever is next. In this case that would be Orton joining the Wyatt Family and then destroying it from within. Somehow this was worthy of a Wrestlemania World Title match, despite it only being a pretty good match in the first place.

Post match Wyatt and Harper hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The opener and Ziggler vs. Miz are enough to carry this but there is only so much that you can get out of a show with such weak stuff in the middle. There were some good matches on here, but the bad stuff drags it down that much better. Unfortunately with the Brand Split, there are only going to be so many ways to keep the interest up and it doesn’t seem likely to get much better than this. Good enough show here, but there are some obvious problems.

Here is the original review if you need a recap.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2017
Date: August 20, 2017
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 16,128
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T., Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s kind of amazing how these modern shows go in one ear and out the other. Aside from the main event, I couldn’t tell you a single thing on this show, and I can tell you every match (mostly in order) from the first seventeen or so Wrestlemanias. It’s the nature of the shows being built up so fast and then running so long, as the same is true of shows I’ve been to even this year. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: The Miz/Miztourage vs. Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan

Rematch from Raw. Now this one I remember because it took place about twenty minutes into the two hour Kickoff Show and the place was embarrassingly empty with MAYBE twenty percent of the place full. It’s just awful looking as the fans who aren’t in yet (as in the majority of them) are going to be annoyed at missing a match and the wrestlers have to go out in front of this empty building like they’re on some nothing indy show (in a huge arena for some reason). I mean, what in the world is the point?

Matt headlocks Axel to start and it’s quickly off to Jeff as the dozens and dozens of fans get behind the good guys. Jordan comes in to crank on the arm to no reaction, at least partially because there aren’t many people here to cheer. A dropkick gets two on Dallas and Jordan muscles him down to the mat.

Everything breaks down and Jordan directs traffic as the Hardys chop away in the corner. Axel saves Dallas from the Swanton and we take a break. Back with Jeff getting two off a basement dropkick as the crowd is now just embarrassing instead of depressing. Dallas pushed Jeff off the top though and it’s time to start the stomping in the corner. Miz (oh yeah he’s in this match) comes in for a reverse chinlock but Jeff kicks him away without too much effort.

Instead it’s Axel coming in to twist Jeff’s neck around as the fans chant for BROTHER NERO. Jeff dropkicks Miz and Dallas off the apron and knocks Axel away as well, allowing the lukewarm tag off to Matt. The middle rope elbow to the back of the neck gets two on Miz but he’s right back up with the YES Kicks. Matt shrugs those off though and there’s a Side Effect for the same. Jordan comes in to throw Axel around, including a suplex for two. Everything breaks down and Miz makes a blind tag, setting up a Skull Crushing Finale to pin Jordan at 10:31.

Rating: C. The crowd killed what would have otherwise been a pretty good six man tag. When you can hear the wrestlers breathing, it’s pretty clear that there isn’t much going on in the arena, which isn’t exactly the atmosphere you want for a show billed as a big party. The match itself was fine, and it helps to not have watched it six days earlier.

Kickoff Show: Cruiserweight Title: Akira Tozawa vs. Neville

Tozawa, part of Titus Worldwide, is defending after winning the title from Neville on Monday. He also has a banged up shoulder. You remember Neville. He was the awesome guy who turned into one of the best heels in the company but WWE decided that having him put over Enzo Amore made more sense and since there was apparently no way Neville could be a heavyweight again, he walked out a few months later.

Neville shoulders him down to start and then dropkicks the glare off of Tozawa’s face. That’s it for now though as Neville sends him outside and screams a lot, as is his custom. The jumping backsplash crushes Neville back inside but he’s able to snap Tozawa’s throat across the top rope. Back from a break with Neville scoring off a missile dropkick to the back for two and stopping to sneer.

The chinlock lets Tozawa have a breather and he fights up to send Neville outside again. That means the big suicide dive and a Saito suplex but it’s too early for the top rope backsplash. Instead Tozawa reverses a fireman’s carry into an Octopus hold as he’s certainly keeping things varied. Neville makes the ropes so Tozawa hits a Shining Wizard for two.

An enziguri staggers Tozawa but he’s right back with a second Shining Wizard to put both guys down. Tozawa is up first but gets pulled down by the bad shoulder. His legs are fine enough to kick Neville in the head and it’s time to go up again. After knocking Neville off the top, the backsplash hits knees and the champ is in big trouble. Neville jumps up top and hits the Red Arrow to the back for the pin and the title at 11:45.

Rating: C+. I get what they were going for here with the title change taking place on Summerslam but why not go with the first title change here and then switch it back tomorrow or the next week on Raw? Or, dare I suggest it, on 205 Live? Other than that it felt like they were just kind of going through the motions at times, but Neville going through the motions is still pretty good.

The crowd is fine now.

Kickoff Show: Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. New Day

New Day is defending in what is kind of another Smackdown rematch, though it’s a different New Day lineup. Tonight it’s Woods and Big E., who has a huge cape. On the way to the ring, Kofi talks about how this is the place New Day first sang together and the original Francesca was born. Her sacrifice is what allowed us to have Francesca II: TURBO. Tonight they’re here to tear the house down with the Usos one more time.

Woods and Jimmy start things off in a technical sequence until Woods hits a roaring elbow to knock Jimmy’s block off. Some forearms in the corner have Jimmy in trouble but he gets in a shot to the face to stagger Woods. Back from a break with Jey putting on a chinlock and then slinging Woods into the corner. Woods knocks Jey off the top and avoids a charge from Jimmy. A missile dropkick has Jey in trouble but Jimmy pulls Big E. off the apron.

Thankfully the hot tag isn’t just a few seconds later and a backbreaker/middle rope knee combination gets two. Woods is in big trouble but scores with a victory roll faceplant (not a bad little move), which is finally enough for the hot tag to Big E. House is cleaned, including the release Rock Bottom out of the corner for two on Jey. Big E. powerbombs Woods onto Jey as the fast tags begin.

Woods even manages to electric chair Big E. so he can splash Jey as well but Jimmy comes in for a save. The double spinebuster gets two on Big E. and there’s the running Umaga attack for good measure as the pace picks up. Woods comes back in for a Rock Bottom into a Backstabber, which is somehow only good for two. That’s a heck of a finisher for those two if they’re ever a regular team.

Jey gets a blind tag but Woods knocks both Usos to the floor just in case. Big E.’s spear through the ropes is cut off by a superkick and a Superfly Splash while he’s still stuck in the ropes. The regular Superfly Splash gets a close two on Woods but he pulls Jey into a Koji Clutch. That’s broken up as well so Woods goes with a Shining Wizard for two.

A tornado DDT to the floor plants Jey and Jimmy takes the Midnight Hour, only to have Jey dive in at the last second for another save. Jimmy Samoan drops Woods to the floor and Kofi gets sent into the steps for checking on his buddy. Big E. is right back up with the spear through the ropes to take Jey down. Woods is done though and it’s four straight superkicks to Big E. into the double Us to give the Usos the titles back at 19:09.

Rating: B. Is there any surprise that this was the best thing on the Kickoff Show? This took some time to get going but these four delivered, as always. They know how to work well together and the diving saves for the false finishes were great. You could run these two over and over again, which is exactly what happened for the next few months. That can only go on for so long though, and that’s why the division isn’t great to this day.

The opening video starts with a shot of Brooklyn before heading backstage. The bigger matches get a quick look as someone spray paints the Summerslam logo onto a wall. That’s rather generic for the opening of such a big show.

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Corbin attacked Shinsuke Nakamura after Nakamura beat Cena, who made the save. Cena then cost Corbin his Money in the Bank cash-in to really hammer this home. The fans, ever so nice, ask Baron where his briefcase is. Cena slides outside to mock Corbin, even throwing on JBL’s hat. Well that makes any adult look like a moron so Corbin gives chase but Cena slides back in.

A headlock keeps Corbin on trouble as JBL points out the Cena issue with the crowd: they’re always chanting about him, whether it’s positive or negative. That’s not the best sign for the opponents, but at least Corbin had the chant to start the match. Some knees to the ribs put Cena in trouble and Corbin pops him in the jaw with a right hand.

The slide underneath the corner sets up the hard clothesline for two and Corbin is already looking frustrated. A suplex gets the same so it’s time to yell at the referee. Corbin hits a World’s Strongest Slam and we hit the chinlock. The fans ask about the briefcase again so Corbin says it’s on Cena. Another comeback starts up with the flying shoulders until Corbin slides under the ropes again, only to slide back in for a chokebreaker.

Cena blocks a superplex attempt and hits a tornado DDT, sending the fans right back into their chorus of booing. The AA is reversed into a Deep Six and Corbin can’t believe the kickout. He’s so serious that the shirt comes off and more slugging ensues. Cena sends him into the corner for the third slide but this time Corbin eats a big clothesline. The AA is good for the pin at 10:12.

Rating: D+. So that happened. The story wasn’t great, the action was nothing to see and Cena hit all of two moves to win in the end. Cena would go on to feud with Roman Reigns for the real rub, but that’s not the best way to boost Corbin. Just a complete nothing of a match here and it felt like they were getting it out of the way instead of featuring it, which is really weird to see for Cena.

Cena hugging kids and throwing his wristbands and dog tags is always cool to see. That just works.

Some wrestlers played Rocket League.

We recap Naomi vs. Natalya. Naomi won the title at Wrestlemania but Natalya thinks she’s turned it into a toy. Natalya attacked Becky Lynch after a match so Naomi made the save. This qualifies for the build to a title match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Naomi

Naomi is defending and gets slapped in the face at the bell but snaps off a hurricanrana to get herself out of trouble. A Blockbuster off the steps gives Naomi two more but Natalya posts her hard to take over. Back in and Natalya stomps away but the emotional offense has never been her strong suit. James Ellsworth and Miss Money in the Bank Carmella are watching in the back (she held that thing so long that she is still champion and Ellsworth has left, returned and left again in less than a year) as Natalya hits a running clothesline.

Naomi’s kicks to the legs don’t have much effect so Natalya grabs an abdominal stretch. That goes nowhere so Natalya hits the discus lariat for two and loads up a superplex. Naomi slips out and hits a super Russian legsweep, which of course gets us to even despite both of them taking the same impact. A spinning kick to the head and a headscissors driver give Naomi two but the dancing kicks are shrugged off (as they should be) with Natalya dropkicking her in the face.

Natalya gets caught in the ropes though and a slingshot legdrop gives Naomi two. The reverse Rings of Saturn is countered into the Sharpshooter but Naomi pulls rolls through and sends Natalya head first into the buckle. Not that it matters though as the split legged moonsault misses, setting up another Sharpshooter to make Naomi tap at 10:50.

Rating: D+. I was bored during this as Natalya is a black hole of charisma and Naomi isn’t the best at being serious. The wrestling was dull too and there was nothing happening here to draw me in. It doesn’t help when the women’s division on both shows have been dominated by the Four Horsewomen for so long that it’s almost impossible to get invested in anyone else (though Naomi has come a long, long way in the last year).

Post match Naomi is rather depressed.

We recap Big Cass vs. Big Show. Cass and Enzo Amore have split up and Show is standing up for him. Tonight though Enzo is being locked in a cage (good start) and Show has a broken hand thanks to Cass crushing it in the shark cage.

Big Show vs. Big Cass

Before the match, Enzo makes various Brooklyn/New York City rap references. He talks about loving to talk and how his worst day is better than Cass’ best and Cass has no heart. Thankfully Cass comes out to cut off the never ending promo and Enzo goes up in the cage. Show, not being the brightest guy in the world, hits Cass with the broken hand as Enzo is already running his mouth. He dances in the cage a bit, shouting about having the best seat in the house.

Cass gets thrown around and kicked in the ribs and there’s the side slam, only to have Show bang up the hand again. Enzo shouts something about Patrick the Starfish as Show misses a Vader Bomb, injuring his hand again. Cass’ big boot is blocked by a weak KO punch for two but the second attempt hits Show’s chest. It’s time to start in on the hand even more, despite that not really doing anything that’s going to let Cass pin him. Something like an armbar has Enzo jumping up and down, further making me want to see him put inside a wood chipper.

The fans call the hold boring so Cass stops, poses, and puts it on again. Show throws him down and hits a left armed clothesline, followed by the chokeslam for two. The hand goes into the post as Enzo is leaning through the cage bars. With Show down, Enzo pulls off his pants and whips out a bottle of lubricant (there’s no way I’m touching that one), oils himself up, and gets out of the cage. The match completely stops until Enzo gets down so Cass can kick him in the face. A pair of big boots put Show down and the Empire Elbow is good for the pin at 10:29.

Rating: F+. What in the world was that supposed to be? This was all about the bad hand but somehow it became about Enzo, that loudmouthed idiot, and then Cass just wins clean. I have no idea how this was the best idea they had but it was an awful match and a big waste of time. If I ever see Enzo oiled up again, I’ll be off in the next room gouging my eyes out.

General Manager Kurt Angle and Daniel Bryan get in a YES/NO off about which show will be better for the rest of the night.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Rusev jumps him from behind before the bell and Orton is in trouble. They get inside for the bell and it’s the RKO in ten seconds. That would be your “well the card is huge and we have to cut something” match of the night.

Bayley wishes Sasha Banks good luck tonight. Banks is taking her place due to a shoulder injury.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Alexa Bliss

Banks is challenging and has special gear that makes her look like a peacock (so she’s copying Charlotte tonight). Bliss gets fired up to start and slugs away in the corner but Banks flips her around and hammers at the champ’s head. One heck of a forearm drops Banks and Bliss talks some trash. With the forearms boring her, Bliss pulls Banks’ hair around the ropes and crotches her on the middle rope for painful measure. We hit the chinlock as it’s almost all Bliss in the early going.

A lot more trash talk sets up a choke shove to put Banks down again as the fans are trying to get behind Banks. The middle rope knees into the moonsault knees give Bliss two more and she drops Banks on the back of her head for the same. Bliss goes to the middle rope and chokes some more until Banks slams her down. A dropkick and clothesline put the champ down for two but she knees Banks in the face to take over again. Bliss’ Code Red out of the corner is countered into something like an Alabama Slam, followed by just kneeing the heck out of Bliss in the corner.

The Bank Statement doesn’t work as Bliss is right next to the ropes. Bliss pulls her down into the ring skirt and dumps Banks to the floor for a near countout, with Bliss freaking out when she gets back in. Twisted Bliss only gets two more and now Bliss doesn’t know what to do. Since hitting it again is out of the question, Bliss picks her up and gets pulled down into the Bank Statement. Banks’ shoulder gives out so she tries the hold again and Bliss taps at 13:17.

Rating: C. Nothing much to see here with Banks shrugging off everything Bliss threw at her and winning without a ton of drama. Bliss got to show off the offense here and looked very good, though there’s not much she can do when Banks is on offense for all of a minute and a half and wins completely clean. Banks would lose the title just eight days later, continuing her trend of not being able to remain champion for very long.

Video on wrestlers auditioning to be the new Colonel Sanders. A fight breaks out and Shawn Michaels winds up winning in one of the most random, bizarre things you’ll ever see. Becky Lynch as the Colonel oddly works.

We recap Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt. Bray had targeted Balor as his latest false idol, beat him on Raw, and covered him in fake blood. Balor then decided to bring the Demon back to fight as hard as he could. This worked in NXT but not up here and that was mainly for one reason: Cole explaining/hyping the Demon EVERY TWO FREAKING SECONDS, saying over and over that “the Demon is Finn Balor’s alter ego” because WWE doesn’t think its fans are that bright. I don’t think NXT ever actually explained it (if they did it was once) because they know how smart fans can be. And that’s why the Demon has never been back.

Finn Balor vs. Bray Wyatt

Cole mentions the Demon idea again during Bray’s entrance but gets cut off as He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands starts playing for Finn. We get the big smoky entrance with Finn looking awesome and the camera getting an AWESOME shot of him with his back to the ring and the crowd posing with him. Balor gets to the ring and LET’S HIT THAT EXPLANATION again. Seriously it’s not exactly a character that needs to be broken down and it’s made worse when Cole does it.

Wyatt is hesitant to start and a right hand just ticks Balor off. Balor shows him how to throw some real right hands and Wyatt needs a breather on the floor. You don’t do that to Balor, who charges around the corner to drop Wyatt again. Back in and Balor isn’t phased by the upside down stare so Wyatt bails to the floor. This time it’s a big flip dive as it’s all Balor so far. Bray finally pulls him off the apron and hammers away, followed by something like a reverse Stunner out of the corner.

Of course that means a chinlock, because even though Bray is a cult leader, he still follows WWE wrestling tropes. Balor is right back up with a Pele kick and a baseball slide to the floor. The double stomp from the apron to Bray’s back keeps him in trouble, causing Graves to drop a (failed) external occipital protuberance reference. I knew I liked him for a reason.

Bray kicks him in the face and hits the release Rock Bottom for two. The running backsplash gets the same but Finn kicks him to the floor for the shotgun dropkick against the barricade. Back in and Bray scores with a kick so it’s spider walk time. Balor pops to his feet, hits a Sling Blade, another shotgun dropkick, and the Coup de Grace for the pin at 10:39.

Rating: D. This was as exciting as Bray hitting some basic offense while Balor did all of his usual stuff. The problem again is in the Demon, which was what Balor would bring out for his biggest, most violent fights. When it’s just the standard wrestling match and even a pretty dominant Finn performance, the whole Demon character is pretty much a waste.

Ad for the Mae Young Classic. In other words, the modern NXT women’s division.

We recap Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose vs. the Bar, which is built around the idea of Dean and Seth not being able to trust each other. They kept offering the Shield fist until they FINALLY got back together, mainly due to having to deal with the Bar. Now they’re united after a very well done series of segments that them saving each other but not being willing to trust each other. They got in a fight though and the Bar coming out to join in was FINALLY enough to get them to agree to fight together. This was actually a heck of a build and I got sucked into it, both live and again during the recap video.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar vs. Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and it’s Sheamus getting taken down so the challengers can drop some elbows. Rollins Downward Spirals Cesaro into Dean’s boot and the champs are cleared out early on. A quick distraction lets Sheamus Brogue Kick Dean so Seth tries a suicide dive onto both guys. That gets him slammed down hard as momentum changes in a hurry.

We settle down to Cesaro gutwrench suplexing Seth and the chinlock goes on. Rollins fights back and hits a Blockbuster but Ambrose is still down off what is apparently the most devastating Brogue Kick of all time. Sheamus keeps Rollins in the corner as Cesaro runs into the crowd and destroys a beach ball, because Cesaro is more awesome than you. An enziguri gets Rollins out of trouble but this time it’s Cesaro cutting him off. Seth sends him outside though and Cesaro comes up holding his knee.

Rollins goes out after him with Sheamus following, meaning it’s Dean diving onto everyone at once. Back in and Rollins rolls underneath Cesaro and makes the hot tag to bring in Ambrose. Everything breaks down and Seth springboards in with a clothesline to Sheamus. There’s the double suicide dive and the fans are eating up all these double team spots. We settle down again with Ambrose powering out of the Neutralizer and hitting the rebound lariat, only to have Sheamus cut off the tag.

Ambrose catches him on top with a superplex into a very fast frog splash from Rollins but Cesaro makes the save. Rollins and Ambrose are tired of this tagging stuff and unload on Sheamus in the corner but he’s right back with a tilt-a-whirl slam. Cesaro swings Dean for all of two rotations and the Sharpshooter goes on, with Dean looking more surprised than in pain. With Dean getting close to the rope, Cesaro rolls over into a Crossface to change focal points.

Instead of going for the submission, Cesaro loads up a powerbomb with Sheamus adding a top rope clothesline for another close two. Rollins finally comes in and gets knocked outside just as fast. Dean tells the champs to bring it so they load up a spike White Noise. Hang on though as Rollins is right in there with a hurricanrana to send Cesaro into Dean and Sheamus for the save. The wind up knee into Dirty Deeds finishes Sheamus for the titles at 18:38.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but there was no other way to go with the finish. Rollins and Ambrose are a great team and the fans love them so let them have a long match and take the titles for a change. There was some chemistry here and that made for a good, long match that the show desperately needed.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens. They’ve traded the US Title for a few months now and Owens is claiming a conspiracy thanks to the referee missing his shoulder being up in the most recent title match. Therefore, Shane McMahon is guest referee tonight, despite having a history with AJ and a history of being a crooked referee.

US Title: AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens

AJ is defending with Shane as guest referee. They get in a fight before the bell with Shane pulling them apart twice in a row, because Shane is going to be the focal point here. The bell rings and they fight out to the floor with AJ hitting a knee from the apron. Back in and AJ keeps him down, followed by a knee drop. One heck of a clothesline takes AJ’s head off and the Cannonball gets two.

The backsplash gets the same and the near fall off the Edge-O-Matic has Owens yelling at Shane. AJ is right back with a belly to back faceplant and the fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gives him two of his own. They’re both banged up and the delay allows Owens to “accidentally” shove Shane into the ropes to crotch AJ on top. He’s fine enough for a springboard 450, which hits Shane after Owens pulls him in. For reasons of storyline convenience, AJ is down after splashing Shane, allowing Owens to hit the Pop Up Powerbomb for two, thanks to a delayed count.

That means ANOTHER argument with Shane, allowing AJ to grab the Calf Crusher but Owens pokes him in the eye. Owens sends AJ into Shane to knock him to the floor, meaning there’s no referee to see Owens tap to another Calf Crusher. Now it’s AJ’s turn to yell at Shane, who shoves AJ into a rollup for a pretty fast two. The annoyed AJ puts him on top, only to get caught in the swinging superplex for the big crash.

Owens wins a slugout but gets reversed into a Styles Clash for a clean two. The Pop Up Powerbomb gets three, though with AJ’s foot on the ropes at one. Shane: “TWO!” That means another argument with Shane, who shoves Owens into a rollup for two, meaning they’re not repeating spots from earlier in the match. The Phenomenal Forearm into the Styles Clash retains AJ’s title at 17:23.

Rating: B-. Well of course most of the match was about Shane, because that’s what a Summerslam title match should be about. The wrestling was fine but you kept waiting on Shane to do something else. I’m not sure how this was the best they could do with Styles, but at least there’s an Owens vs. Shane story set up for the next eight months. That’s more important than the US Title and Summerslam right?

Video on some fans winning a sweepstakes and got to go to the show.

We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal and I can feel the headache coming. Mahal won the WWE Championship in a period of Vince McMahon insanity and has held it since May. Nakamura has hit Kinshasa on a bunch of people, including Cena to become #1 contender. In other words: help us Shinsuke Nakamura. You’re our only hope.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Nakamura is challenging and a live violinist plays him to the ring. The fans singing the song is awesome as usual, especially when you consider it doesn’t have words. Jinder grabs a wristlock to start so Nakamura spins around into a headlock, much to the crowd’s delight. Nakamura puts him up against the ropes for the arm shaking and the required COME ON. Mahal bails to the floor so it’s a triple COME ON, including the Singh Brothers. The fans chant for 3MB because the comedy version of Mahal is better than the main event version.

With nothing else going on, let’s go to the Japanese commentary team. I don’t speak Japanese so it’s all Greek to me. Back in and Nakamura drops a knee and hits some Good Vibrations as Mahal has nothing. As in all together, not just so far. The Singh Brothers offer a distraction though and Mahal knocks him off the apron to take over for the first time. Some knee drops set up a chinlock, followed by Mahal doing the COME ON pose but shouting his own name.

After that brilliant display of saying his name, it’s back to the chinlock. Nakamura fights up with a kick to the face and some YES Kicks to set up the running knee to the ribs. With the covers not working, Nakamura grabs a triangle choke but Mahal gets his foot in the ropes. Nakamura’s running knee in the corner hits buckle and Mahal adds a jumping knee to the face for two of his own. Mahal goes shoulder first into the post but the Singh Brothers’ distraction lets Mahal hit a chinlock slam (he has ONE MOVE and can’t even do that right) to retain at 11:25.

Rating: D-. You know, it’s been about nine months since Mahal lost the title and e-freaking-gads I had forgotten how awful his title reign really was. This felt like a bad house show main event and it’s the biggest Smackdown match on the second biggest show of the year. You can feel the fans dying out there when Mahal is….well doing anything actually, but in this case I’ll go with being on offense and winning. I remember watching Sami Zayn and Shinsuke Nakamura beat the living tar out of each other for twenty minutes at Takeover: Dallas. Now though, a weak/botched/terrible cobra clutch slam puts him down? Not a chance.

We recap the Universal Title match with Brock Lesnar defending against Braun Strowman, Roman Reigns and Samoa Joe. Lesnar was announced as facing all three challengers and since he wasn’t happy, he’s threatened to leave WWE if he loses. The three challengers all say they can be the man to take out Lesnar. There’s just not much else to be said here but this is by far and away the main event.

Universal Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe

Lesnar is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Cole picks Reigns to win because Reigns beat Undertaker at Wrestlemania. Cole: “How can you bet against that?” You pick the guy who did it first, you nitwit. Reigns is of course booed out of the building because….oh you know the drill by now.

The brawl is on to start (well duh) with Strowman throwing Reigns to the floor and Brock hitting a belly to belly on Joe. Strowman gets posted and it’s time for the Reigns vs. Lesnar showdown that no one but WWE seems to love. Booker tries to say that Lesnar knew nothing but winning in UFC, which I’ll leave you to make fun of. Some suplexes put Reigns on the floor and it’s Strowman time.

Now THIS gets the fans’ attention but Reigns and Joe are right back in to break up the fun. That lasts all of five seconds before it’s back to Strowman vs. Lesnar, meaning another YES chant. Strowman LAUNCHES Brock into the corner and hits a heck of a clothesline to put the champ on the floor. As usual, Lesnar’s selling is very underrated. Everyone is on the floor now and Joe chokes Lesnar but sidesteps a Reigns spear, sending Lesnar through the barricade. That spot will always look cool.

Strowman is back up and loads up the title (with Graves hoping he uses Saxton as a weapon), setting up a running powerslam to drive a kicking Lesnar through it. The fans REALLY like that but here’s Reigns to kick Strowman in the face and kill their buzz all over again. Joe is back up with a suicide elbow to take Reigns out, meaning the fans are won right back. Thankfully Cole is doing a great job of explaining how cool it is to see people this big doing this stuff.

That’s exactly what he should be doing and it’s working here. Strowman throws an announcers’ chair at Joe and Reigns in a cool spot, followed by a second powerslam through a table to put Lesnar down again. Heyman has a look on his face that says “well, I didn’t see that one coming”. Fans: “ONE MORE TABLE!” Greedy twits. To mix things up a bit, Strowman picks that one up and turns it on top of the already out Lesnar. Half a dozen people come out to get the table off of Lesnar and a stretcher is brought out as Heyman seems to be near tears.

We’re not done yet though as Strowman hits Joe and Reigns in the head with the steps. With the steps in the ring, Reigns fires off the corner clotheslines and hits a good steps shot into Strowman’s shoulder. Joe’s rollup gets two on Reigns but he’s right back up with a Samoan drop for two. The Superman Punch is countered into the Koquina Clutch but Strowman (with some blood next to his ear) is back in with a double chokeslam. Everyone is down so here comes Lesnar again.

Strowman is the only one on his feet so it’s time for the big showdown. A running clothesline takes Strowman to the floor and there’s a German suplex each to Joe and Reigns. Strowman comes back in and elbow his way out of a German suplex, only to get caught in the Kimura. That’s broken up with a Superman Punch, with Joe and Lesnar taking one each as well. Reigns spears Lesnar for two so here’s Strowman for a dropkick to Reigns, just because he can do that too.

The powerslam gets two on Joe with Lesnar pulling the referee out at the last second. A Superman Punch gets two on Strowman, whose kickout puts Reigns on his feet. There’s a powerslam to Reigns with Lesnar making the save but getting loaded up into the F5. That’s broken up by a Reigns spear, drawing Joe back in for a Clutch on Lesnar. Brock reverses into the F5 but Reigns is right in there with some Superman Punches. Three in a row put Lesnar down but the spear is countered into the F5 to retain Brock’s title at 20:53.

Rating: A-. What a fight and that’s all it needed to be. They were making Godzilla/King Kong references here and they nailed the idea to near perfection. The best thing here was Strowman looking awesome and like the man that could beat Lesnar if he had the chance, with the bonus of Reigns taking the fall again. It’s not like Reigns losing was going to hurt him (it hasn’t yet) so going this was was the right call. This was all about violence and that was the story: big, strong people beating each other up for twenty minutes and all of the chaos that it caused. Well done, all around.

Lesnar can barely stand to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This show suffered from the same problem as the modern Wrestlemania. It’s not the length that is the problem (the show never really did drag) but rather that almost nothing has a chance to sink in. Everything jumped from one match to the other and most of the matches didn’t have a ton of time.

It was “well that happened so let’s move on” time after time and that doesn’t make for a special show. The show isn’t terrible but aside from the main event, nothing on here felt important and that’s not what Summerslam needs to be. In other words: cut some stuff out and let it breathe, which might as well be the standard operating criticism around here.

Ratings Comparison

Miz/Miztourage vs. Hardy Boyz/Jason Jordan

Original: C-
Redo: C

Neville vs. Akira Tozawa

Original: C

Redo: C+

New Day vs. Usos

Original: B+

Redo: B

John Cena vs. Baron Corbin

Original: D

Redo: D+

Naomi vs. Natalya

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Big Cass vs. Big Show

Original: D

Redo: F+

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

Alexa Bliss vs. Sasha Banks

Original: B-

Redo: C

Bray Wyatt vs. Finn Balor

Original: C+

Redo: D

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins vs. The Bar

Original: B

Redo: B

Kevin Owens vs. AJ Styles

Original: B

Redo: B-

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe vs. Braun Strowman

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: C-

Time has NOT been kind to this show and aside from two (or maybe three) matches, it’s not worth seeing.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/08/20/summerslam-2017-the-star-of-stars/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2016
Date: August 21, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,974
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield

A year has passed since I saw this show and I can barely remember much about it. That’s very telling when you look at how stacked this show really is. There are multiple top level matches here and it really wasn’t clear what was going to close the show until the night of the event. Hopefully that means that this SIX HOUR show holds up. Let’s get to it.

So here’s a quick plug. I’m going through the pre-show and there’s a three expert panel of Booker T., Jerry Lawler and Lita. Earlier this year, I met all three of them at WrestleCon. If you’re ever at a Wrestlemania weekend, treat yourself to an amazing time and GO TO WRESTLECON. I met over 120 wrestlers in about four hours. Where else are you going to get to do something like that? Anyway, on with the show.

Pre-Show: American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Who would have thought that Breezango would be the most entertaining out of all these teams? This is pretty much the still titleless Smackdown tag division at this point as they had to bring in the Headbangers and throw together Heath Slater and Rhyno to be able to have a tournament. This is also a rematch from Smackdown, which shows how little effort they were putting into the tag division at this point.

Gable and Breeze start things and the fans are WAY into Gable. Chad twists around as only he can to escape a wristlock and it’s off to Jey, who is quickly driven into the corner. English comes in and says that he’s what a man is. That earns him a right hand to the jaw and it’s off to Mojo to work on a wristlock. Ryder comes in to quite the reaction as Mauro says the Hype Bros have more chemistry than the Periodic Table.

Everything breaks down (What took them so long?) and Ascension clears the ring, only to have American Alpha come off the top (the same corner) with double clotheslines (that’s pure Steiner Brothers). English posts Ryder though and we take a break. Back with Gotch putting Ryder in a chinlock, followed by Viktor doing the same. The other heels take turns stomping on Ryder until Breeze grabs his own chinlock. Fandango adds a slingshot legdrop as this is going WAY longer than it needs to.

JBL thinks cold beer uniting the APA is more effective than furry selfie sticks uniting Breezango but maybe he’s wrong. Ascension knocks the good guys off the apron but Viktor misses a charge in the corner, allowing Ryder to get in a neckbreaker on Konnor. The hot tag (with a limited reaction) brings in Jimmy to clean house.

Jordan gets the real hot tag and does his fired up sequence (which he really is awesome at) with a belly to belly getting two on Breeze. We hit the parade of secondary finishers as the referee is imploring them to tag. Mojo powerbombs Breeze and Viktor out of the corner and the Usos add stereo superkicks to set up stereo dives. Back in and Grand Amplitude plants Gotch, only to have Jey tag himself in for a Superfly Splash and the pin at 14:31. Gable is really not cool with that. Eh just wait until your team is split up for a pretty lame story where Jordan is Kurt Angle’s son.

Rating: B-. If you cut out a few minutes from this, it’s a heck of an opener. There are too many people in the match of course but they kept it moving fast enough (for the most part) to really get something fun out of it. Jordan’s house cleaning spot is a heck of a way to fire the crowd up and it made the match more fun than it should have been. Tweak this a bit (eight/ten man tag or shorten the match a bit) and it’s even better.

Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz vs. Sami Zayn/Neville

Sami works on D-Von’s arm to start and it’s off to Neville for more of the same. Both of them get in more shots as we hear about the rivalry over the NXT Title. I do appreciate the history, especially when Graves should know about that match very well. Bubba is sent outside but D-Von breaks up a springboard dive, allowing Bubba to nail Neville from behind to take over. The fans want tables but a back elbow to Neville’s jaw cuts them off in a hurry.

Back from a break with Bubba hitting his neckbreaker out of the corner. Things slow down even more as Bubba is talking even more than he usually does in a match. Bubba: “COME ON ENGLISH BOY! O-LAY! O-LAY!” The middle rope backsplash misses though and the hot tag brings in Sami. D-Von takes the Blue Thunder Bomb for two but the reverse 3D gets the same. Neville escapes the regular version though and we get some heel miscommunication. The Helluva Kick sets up the Red Arrow to put Bubba away at 7:55.

Rating: C-. That would be it for the Dudleys in WWE as they would have one more segment tomorrow night where Anderson and Gallows sent them packing. It’s also pretty much it for Sami and Neville as a team, which is quite odd as you would think they would be a fine choice for a team. The match was nothing you wouldn’t expect on Raw.

Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Sheamus

You know, because two matches just weren’t enough for the pre-show. This is the first match of the Best of Seven Series, which really wasn’t too well received. After Cole says Cesaro is facing Cesaro and both Cole and Saxton say this is about establishing physical dominance, we’re ready to go. Sheamus misses a very early Brogue Kick but the spinning springboard uppercut is blocked as well.

Cesaro charges into an uppercut but comes back with a dropkick for one. The ten forearms to the chest are broken up so Sheamus clotheslines him onto the apron instead. It’s off to an armbar on Cesaro’s chronically taped up shoulder but Cesaro lifts him up into that kind of reverse Angle Slam of his. They’re certainly hitting each other hard here, which is pretty much the draw of the whole feud.

Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to a break. Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock because that rule even applies on pre-shows that will never end. The Irish Curse gives Sheamus two as Cole runs down the pay per view card, which only makes me think that there are FAR too many titles in WWE. They fight over a suplex and fall out to the floor in a heap. Back in and Cesaro starts firing off the running uppercuts in the corner, capped off by a dropkick to knock him off the ropes.

The apron superplex (which wasn’t from the apron) gets two but Sheamus counters the Neutralizer into White Noise for two. There’s the super Regal Roll for two more and frustration is really setting in. Another Brogue Kick attempt is countered by one heck of a clothesline though and Cesaro adds a high crossbody for two of his own. Cesaro tries the Sharpshooter but Sheamus gets to the ropes. Back up and a poke to the eye sets up the Brogue Kick to give Sheamus the pin at 14:11.

Rating: B. They beat the heck out of each other and it was a fun match but it also brings up the problem: I’m not going to want to watch them fight six more times. No matter how good things are, having them happen so many times in a row over several weeks is going to get tiresome. It happens in all these series and it’s happening here too.

And now, after more wrestling than you get on an average Smackdown, here’s the actual pay per view.

The opening video looks at New York City, with the narrator telling you how AMAZING the city is. I’m not sure if New York City or Texas is worse about bragging about their home’s greatness. As usual, this switches over to a series of quick looks at the biggest matches on the card.

Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens

Well duh. That’s about as easy of a choice for an opener as you could ever find for this show. As you might expect, the crowd eats up the opening promo with a spoon and of course we hear a ton of New York City music references. Included are Frank Sinatra, Biggie Smalls and Jay-Z, plus more that probably go over my head. Cass adds in a few songs of his own as this is the only way this show could have opened. Since Graves is the best heel commentator in wrestling today though, he points out that Enzo is from New Jersey.

Jericho and Owens jump Enzo at the bell and the STUPID IDIOT chants start rolling. Enzo comes back with a crossbody and a running right hand to the jaw for two. It’s off to Cass, who drags Owens inside for a beal. That’s some scary power. Enzo gets launched into the corner to crush Jericho but the Canadians bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cass who tosses Enzo over the top onto them in a huge crash. I’ve always loved that spot as it just looks cool.

Back in and Enzo ax handles Owens but turns into a middle rope dropkick from Jericho. The Canadian violence begins with Owens kneeing Enzo from the apron and doing his dance on the apron in a rather funny visual. Owens’ comedic skills aren’t given enough credit more often than not. It’s back to Jericho for the Arrogant Cover and a chinlock with Owens telling Jericho to do it like he taught him.

Owens comes in and adds a gutbuster for two, followed by the running start for a chinlock. It takes real talent to turn a chinlock into an art form but Owens has somehow pulled it off. Enzo finally rolls away but Jericho is there to break up the diving tag attempt. Owens drops the frog splash for two and his stunned looked on the kickout is the usual awesome visual. Enzo gets pulled off the corner to make things even worse but, after blowing a kiss to Jericho, misses the Cannonball.

That means the hot tag to Cass and everything breaks down. Jericho dives into a big boot but Owens breaks up the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka. Cass gets posted on the floor and now the Cannonball against the barricade connects. Back in and Enzo scores with his top rope DDT on Jericho with Owens making the save. A pop up Codebreaker (didn’t look great as Jericho was too far away) ends Enzo at 12:09.

Rating: C+. Odd choice for an ending aside (not surprising of course but odd), this was a good way to get the crowd going. I could have gone for another hope spot from Enzo and more of Cass cleaning house but that pop up Codebreaker could have been a heck of a finisher if done right. Nice opener, though would it have killed them to put Enzo and Cass over in Brooklyn?

Smackdown bosses Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon run into Raw General Manager Mick Foley to brag about how awesome their shows are. Former Daily Show host Jon Stewart and his son come in to ask what Foley is thinking to work with Stephanie. He rants about abuse of power but realizes she’s right behind him. Stephanie yells at him about how great it is to abuse power but thankfully New Day comes up. As the Smackdown bosses and Foley much on cereal, New Day asks Jon if he’d like to do something. He gets out as fast as he can and Stephanie isn’t amused.

We recap Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks. Sasha won the Women’s Title on the first exclusive show after the Brand Split and tonight is the rematch. The other big idea here is Charlotte never loses singles matches on pay per view and Banks has to recreate the magic one more time.

Raw Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Banks is defending and we get the Big Match Intros. Some early WOOing sets up a slightly less early Bank Statement but Charlotte bails to the floor. Back in and Banks climbs the corner for a wristdrag before sending Charlotte face first into the middle buckle. Banks gets caught on top though and Charlotte basically drops her onto the ropes for a backbreaker which almost had to hurt horribly. The fact that Banks had a bad back coming in and Charlotte still did some rather sloppy moves like that got her in some hot water.

We hit a Gory Stretch on the champ for a bit but she comes back with a pair of running clotheslines. That just earns her another backbreaker and Charlotte stomps away at the back. The Figure Eight is broken up but Sasha misses a charge into the corner and gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Charlotte picks her up for a super Razor’s Edge but since that would, you know, kill Sasha, she reverses into a hurricanrana to put them both down.

Back up and a WOO earns Charlotte a string of slaps before Sasha avoids a charge in the corner and hits the double knees to the back for two. Charlotte kicks her in the leg to break up a charge but gets knocked outside again, setting up the double knees from the apron. Back in and the Backstabber doesn’t work but Natural Selection is countered into the Bank Statement (thankfully too as the Natural Selection clearly didn’t send Sasha’s head anywhere near the mat).

Charlotte makes the rope for the break and takes out the knee again. Natural Selection gives Charlotte two so she yells about being better than Sasha. Another Bank Statement goes on but Charlotte reverses into a rollup for the pin and the title at 13:52. Saxton: “Just like that?”

Rating: B. This was just a straight match and that’s the key to the whole thing. The women are getting to show that they can have a good match without the smoke and mirrors, which never would have been the case otherwise. If nothing else it got the kind of time that a title match deserves to develop the story of Banks having a bad back (which would keep her on the shelf for about a month). Strong match here and another of many to come for these two.

Doctors Anderson and Gallows (oh man I had forgotten how stupid this was) run into AJ Styles for a Club reunion. Finn Balor comes up and doesn’t think much of it. Somehow, this has still never gone anywhere.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Crews is defending after winning a triple threat match. Miz comes out wearing a glittery Phantom of the Opera mask while Maryse is basically in a one piece swimsuit. In a sign of the changing times, Mauro talks about Miz’s look instead of Maryse. Miz stomps away in the corner and gets two off a running kick to the chest. Crews gets the same off a rollup, only to walk into the short DDT as it’s almost all Miz to start. We’re already in the reverse chinlock before Miz sends him into the apron to cut off a comeback. Miz takes too long coming off the top though and dives into a dropkick to put both guys down.

A crossbody into a nipup has Miz in trouble as JBL rants about Otunga calling Crews a Jackrobat (jacked acrobat). The Toss Powerbomb is countered so Crews gets two off a tilt-a-whirl powerslam. An overhead belly to belly sets up a standing moonsault, which Otunga sums up perfectly: “A man with that kind of size and that kind of muscle should not be able to do that.” Miz teases taking a walk but Maryse cuts him off, allowing Miz to post Crews. The Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 5:36.

Rating: D+. Standard Smackdown match and something that could have been cut, or at least put in the Kickoff Show in the place of the Dudleys match. Crews felt like an easy obstacle to overcome because there was nowhere near enough build to set the match up. Put some more effort into the title already people, as it’s just not working.

We recap John Cena vs. AJ Styles. They set up the first match when Styles and Cena were in the ring together, only to have Anderson and Gallows interfere to turn Styles heel. Styles went on a great rant about how Cena was a fraud who couldn’t hang in the ring with someone like him. Cena went into a great speech about how he’s here out of love because it never gets old. AJ beat him at Money in the Bank with assistance from Anderson and Gallows, setting up a rematch between the two here.

AJ Styles vs. John Cena

This just feels big. AJ grabs a waistlock to start but is easily knocked away. The announcers go out of the way to put over how AJ has been on big shows before but nothing this big. Oh I don’t know. I remember him being at that Wrestlemania thing earlier in the year. The dueling chants begin and the AJ STYLES side is pretty clearly stronger.

Cena’s headlock is countered and AJ scores with the dropkick but the bragging earns AJ a right to the jaw. A hard whip into the corner sends AJ down for a bit with Cena doing some rare trash talking. They head to the floor and the fans start belting out JOHN CENA SUCKS, only to have AJ turn it into some gasping with a suplex onto the apron. Cena is right back with a dropkick for two and it’s time for some more right hands to the head.

AJ comes back with a forearm to the face, earning himself Cena’s finishing sequence. It’s way too early for the AA though as AJ hits a Pele, followed by the Styles Clash for a close two. The fans were actually more into the near fall than I was expecting as you would think they’d know better this early. The AA gives Cena two of his own and both guys are down again.

Styles slips out of the super AA and grabs the torture rack for the spinout powerbomb. They’re trading bombs at this point and it’s the only way they should be going here. Something like a Big Ending gives Cena two but he can’t get the STF. Instead it’s the AA neckbreaker for two on Cena (not the same as the AA JBL) but the springboard 450 only hits mat.

A faceplant puts Cena down again though and AJ can’t follow up. He manages the springboard forearm but Cena reverses into the worst STF I’ve ever seen. Thankfully AJ slips out and grabs a Crossface, which Cena powers out of as well. That’s reversed into the Calf Crusher which AJ is smart enough to twist away from the ropes. Cena reverses that into another horrible STF (AJ’s face is on the mat) so AJ is quickly up with the enziguri. A tornado DDT plants AJ and there’s the top rope Fameasser for two.

Cena heads up again and gets taken down with a super hurricanrana (Mauro: “MAMA MIA!”), followed by the Phenomenal Forearm for a VERY near fall (drawing Mauro to his feet). It’s Cena’s turn now as he takes AJ up for the super AA and….it’s two. NOW the fans know it’s on as I don’t think anyone has ever kicked out of that before. Cena is stunned and the AA is countered into another Clash. The Phenomenal Forearm puts Cena away clean at 23:10.

Rating: A. I know it’s not going to sound good but a lot of this goes to Cena. At the end of the day, the crowd completely lost it when AJ kicked out of that super AA. AJ wins here not because he got a pin but because he beat Cena clean. That’s a very, VERY short list and that’s what makes it feel so important. Think back to how big of a deal it was when Warrior pinned Hogan clean. That felt like an era changing win, and while this isn’t quite that big, it’s the same idea.

Oh yeah and it’s an outstanding match and possibly the Match of the Year. This was the heavyweight slugfest formula as they beat the heck out of each other with both guys hitting everything they could until one of them couldn’t get up. That’s a really hard match to pull off and these two did it in an incredible match. It belonged on the grand stage and gives Cena one heck of a mountain to overcome, which he somehow did in a better match at the Royal Rumble.

Post match Cena takes off his wristband and leaves it in the ring. He would do dark matches for a few weeks and then be back wrestling on TV in less than a month so this didn’t mean anything.

Some fans won a contest and got some stuff. In other words, let the fans have a breather.

Here’s Jon Stewart for your celebrity appearance. He makes fun of himself for interfering in Cena’s match last year and says the big lesson he learned was to tuck your shirt in when you’re taking an AA. As for tonight though, he’s here to be in New Day’s corner to help deal with Anderson and Gallows. In honor of the moment, he throws on a unicorn horn and does Big E.’s (out injured due to getting crotched against the post) entrance.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

New Day is defending of course and unfortunately Anderson and Gallows are still doing their stupid doctor nonsense, complete with jars for Kofi, Xavier and Jon’s testicles. I hear Paige can help you with one of those. Anderson headlocks Kofi down to start but he’s right back up with the jumping back elbow to the jaw. Kofi flips onto his feet and gets two off the standing double stomp. You can tell the fans are still recovering from the previous match and it’s off to Woods.

That goes badly as the he gets taken into the corner for a beating from Gallows. At least it does bring the fans back a bit with the rhythmic clapping. Gallows gets taken into the corner for the Unicorn Stampede (which they’ve kind of stopped doing in recent months) and the fans are really not responding. Woods sends him outside so Kofi can hit a running dive (while posing in the air) to take him down again. Back in and Gallows kicks Kofi in the head to take over for real this time with Anderson working on the arm.

That goes nowhere as the hot tag brings in Woods to clean house. Anderson sends him to the apron for an enziguri, setting up the rope walk elbow drop. Everything breaks down and Anderson kicks Kofi in the chest, setting up the Magic Killer. Stewart gets in though and it’s time to crotch him as well. Hang on though as he has to tuck in his shirt first. Cue the returning Big E. for the save though and that’s a DQ at 9:09.

Rating: D. I don’t know if it was the previous match or what but sweet goodness the fans did NOT care for this one. It’s not a good match in the first place as Anderson and Gallows aren’t funny in the doctor roles, but the bigger problem here was the focus being on Stewart at the end. Oh and the ending sets up a rematch, which really isn’t what they need to be going with here. Bad match but Big E.’s return did wake up the crowd.

Big E. drinks the fluid in the jar holding his “testicles”. Stewart dances with New Day and the fans…well they care when Big E. dances at least.

We recap Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler. Dolph won a six way match to earn the shot and then it all went nuts. Ziggler started talking about how he was tired of being told that he always either too good or not good enough. It was time to turn up the jets and become champion for the third time. Serious Ziggler was nice but I don’t think anyone was buying him as having a real chance here. You know, because he’s Dolph Ziggler.

Smackdown World Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and Shane and Daniel are here for no apparent reason. The fans are behind Ziggler and they trade some grappling on the mat with Ziggler getting the better of it (not exactly a surprise). The threat of a neckbreaker sends Ambrose bailing to the floor so Dolph splashes him against the barricade.

Back in and Ziggler’s jumping DDT is countered with Dean throwing him outside again. Ziggler escapes a super Dirty Deeds so Dean slaps on a half crab of all things. You can tell Dean is playing the subtle heel here as the smark crowd is always going to cheer for Ziggler. Dean heads up top and gets dropkicked out of the air but he’s right back with a double chickenwing facebuster.

Ambrose tunes up the band (which is now mocking Ziggler instead of anything involving Shawn Michaels) but shakes his head and tries Dirty Deeds instead. That’s reversed into the jumping DDT and both guys are down again. A double collision gives us another lay down period until Dean is up first and hammering away.

The top rope elbow gets two so Ziggler grabs the sleeper, earning them both a tumble out to the floor. Ziggler gets in the superkick on the floor but it’s barely two back inside. The Zig Zag gets the same but Dean pops back up with the rebound lariat. Ziggler catches Dean on top and pulls him back down, right into Dirty Deeds to retain the title at 15:22.

Rating: D+. And that people, is Ziggler choking again. This would lead to him saying he’s never won the big one, which would turn into him never holding the World Title that long because holding the title is more important than winning it. The match was nothing all that good as we were just waiting on Dirty Deeds, which only happened so Dean could keep it warm for AJ next month. That was completely obvious the second AJ pinned Cena again and that’s all this title needed to do.

Package on Summerslam weekend.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Eva Marie vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Dang I didn’t know the Glow was a year old. Actually hang on a minute as Eva Marie is suffering from exhaustion, anxiety and stress (likely brought on by reading too many Wellness Violation messages, which meant she would never wrestle again) so we have a replacement. At least we got that amazing entrance one more time.

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

So yeah, you know full well that Nikki is going to be all that matters in this match because IT’S HER BIG COMEBACK THAT EVERYONE TOTALLY CARES ABOUT BECAUSE WE LOVE HER SO MUCH! She does get one heck of a pop though, which is rather scary. During her entrance, Mauro declares her return “miraculous”. Oh man this is going to be a long one.

Bliss rolls Becky up to start and gets in a hard slap for good measure. Naomi comes in to scare Alexa off so it’s Natalya instead. A forearm puts Natalya down and the splits legdrop gets two. Carmella comes in for the Staten Island Shuffle before a missed charge sends Natalya outside. Back in and a powerslam out of the corner plants Carmella before it’s off to Nikki, the heel, for a strong face pop.

We hit the chinlock but hang on as we need some Nikki pushups. Alexa chokeshoves Carmella down for the moonsault knees to the ribs as the crowd is dead all over again. The abdominal stretch keeps things slow until Carmella finally rolls over and makes the hot tag to Becky. All three heels are send into the corner for the springboard kicks from Lynch, followed by a Bexploder on Natalya.

Becky’s top rope legdrop gets two with Nikki making the save. A blind tag brings in Naomi for the dancing kicks with the fans just not reacting at all. Bliss’ springboard splash hits knees so it’s off to Nikki vs. Carmella. A bad looking Bronco Buster gets two on Nikki and everything breaks down. Nikki’s big forearm sets up the Rack Attack 2.0 (Nikki: “I’m back.”) for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: D. This was all about Nikki’s return and that’s not enough to carry a dull match. Naomi’s Glow stuff wasn’t over yet, Becky was stuck around people who weren’t up to her level and Carmella was showing that she didn’t need to be on the main roster yet. The same was true for Alexa and Natalya was her usual self. Just not a good match and it showed the lack of depth to the division.

We recap Rusev vs. Roman Reigns. Rusev and Lana were married and so Reigns interrupted for no apparent reason to insult them and shove them into a cake.

Maria Menunos interviews Rusev and Lana, who don’t like her questions about Reigns. They won’t stand for this and Lana is sure that her husband will destroy Reigns.

We recap the Universal Title match. Basically we need a new title due to the Brand Split and Universal Title was the best they could come up with. Seth Rollins was put into the match as Raw’s #1 draft pick and Finn Balor earned his way in by winning a series of matches. Not much else to it as there’s no major animosity between them but it’s better than pulling the title out of a suitcase.

Seth did get in a great promo talking about how he’s done everything Balor has done but he’s done it a little bit better. He’s not wrong, though that’s not the best thing to do when you have someone so new to the main roster. Then Balor showed up as the Demon and scared Rollins to death.

Universal Title: Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Anything goes and the title (which isn’t that well received due to a bad case of being hideous) is vacant coming in. Unless I’m forgetting something, to date this is the only time Balor has wrestled as the Demon on the main roster. We get the Big Match Intros and the title itself receives some hearty boos. Balor dropkicks him into the corner at the bell but it’s too early for the Coup de Grace.

Instead Balor hits a suicide dive to the floor, followed by some kicks to the knee back inside. They head outside again with Seth getting in his first offense via a suplex on the floor. Balor is right back with something like a Phenomenal Forearm off the barricade. Back in again and Balor hits a basement dropkick for two as this is almost one sided so far. Finn stays on the leg as the fans are singing something.

Balor jumps over the ropes but Rollins slides between his legs and powerbombs him into the barricade, completely destroying Balor’s shoulder and putting him on the shelf for the better part of eight months. We’re less than four minutes in though and you can see the shoulder looking all messed up. Back in and Seth gets two off a backbreaker, setting up a chinlock. The chants are still going and it sounds like THAT TITLE SUCKS to the tune of John Cena Sucks.

Seth starts the trash talk and cuts off a comeback attempt. A snapmare into a kick to the back has Finn in even more trouble but Seth would rather walk around than follow up. It’s back to the chinlock for a good while until the springboard knee to the head sets up Seth’s frog splash for two. What looks like a Rainmaker is countered into a DDT to give Balor his first major offense in a long time and he follows up with some forearms.

A basement dropkick sets up the Sling Blade but Seth kicks him down without much effort. An enziguri stuns Balor but he’s right back with the Pele, earning a very nice round of applause. If nothing else the chants about the title have stopped. 1916 (reverse implant DDT) gives Finn two but the Coup de Grace is countered into a triangle choke of all things. Finn falls outside because rope breaks don’t count (anything goes remember) and things slow down a bit.

Back in and the buckle bomb sets up the low superkick for two on Balor with Seth looking stunned on the kickout. A small package driver gets the same count and reaction so Seth goes up, allowing Balor to hit a very loud enziguri to put him on the floor. Balor adds a shotgun dropkick to send him into the barricade, followed by a top rope double stomp to the back of the head for two. The Coup de Grace misses and it’s a Pedigree for two. Finn counters a second Pedigree into a double stomp, followed by the Coup de Grace for the pin and the title at 19:23.

Rating: B+. When you factor in that shoulder injury, this is quite the impressive performance. Above all else though, how good is it that Balor won the title here? If he loses his first major pay per view match and then goes away until April, he’s lucky to come back to the cruiserweight division.

This was a heck of a match with both guys beating the heck out of each other. It took some time to get built up but once they finally got there, the fans really started to accept things, which is a very positive sign. Balor is someone who is going to get a very positive reaction no matter what and giving him the title here was entirely the right call.

Balor can barely move his right arm after the match but finally holds the title up. On his WWE 24 special, he said you could feel and hear the shoulder crunching and crackling as he lifted the title and it probably did more damage to the arm.

The pre-show channel chats a bit and throws us to a KFC ad with Dolph Ziggler dressing up as Colonel Sanders to beat up Miz dressed as a chicken. It’s actually dumber than you remember it being.

Here’s Lana to introduce Rusev, albeit while wearing half of a wedding dress, the bottom of which looks like a diaper. She’s one of the most beautiful women on the roster but she looks ridiculous here.

US Title: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns

Roman is challenging and the booing is strong with this one. Rusev jumps him before the bell and they fight out to the floor with Roman being sent into the steps. The fans chant RUSEV MACHKA because they’ve given up on America over their hatred for Reigns. Roman gets in a Superman Punch as the bell hasn’t rung yet. They fight over a chair with Reigns getting the better of it and destroying Rusev. Reigns finally leaves but comes back with a spear, all while the fans chant WE WANT SLATER. No match of course, likely due to time issues.

We recap Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar. This match was announced as Orton’s return match from surgery and the build focused on Orton being able to hit the RKO anytime, including a sweet moment where Orton interrupted a Lesnar promo with an RKO. The hype video even includes some OVW clips as they came up through developmental together and debuted within a few months of each other. This had a heck of a build and felt like something important but the question was whether Lesnar would have an actual match or just do his usual Lesnar stuff.

Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar

Heyman handles Lesnar’s introduction, saying he’s conquering out of the University of Suplex City. Brock seems to get into his MMA stance to start before driving Orton into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs. Orton escapes the first German suplex attempt but can’t hit the RKO.

Now the first suplex connects (with Mauro knowing that it’s the 33^rd Lesnar has hit at Summerslam because he’s awesome that way) and Brock follows with two more. Orton is almost out on his feet so Lesnar suplexes him again. It’s nothing but suplexes at this point and it’s already getting dull. They head outside for a much needed change of pace with Orton being thrown over the announcers’ table.

Orton gets thrown from the front row through the table as this is dominance. The other table is loaded up but whatever Lesnar is trying is countered into the RKO onto (not through) the table. The hanging DDT plants Lesnar back inside and another RKO gets two. Orton realizes he has no choice and tries the Punt, only to have it reversed into the F5 (bad one) for two more.

That’s enough for Lesnar so he takes off the gloves and pads and hammers on Orton. An elbow to the head actually busts Orton open VERY badly. Lesnar just keeps hammering on him while the fans chant GOLDBERG until the referee FINALLY stops it at 11:47. I’ve heard a bunch of answers about what happened but I believe this was the planned ending and a hard way opening.

Rating: D. Yeah this didn’t work when it happened and it didn’t work again this time around. Lesnar suplexing Orton for five minutes then selling a few big moves doesn’t make me think it’s an awesome main event. This was everything wrong with Lesnar’s current WWE run in one match and that made for a really dull match, save for the odd finish that seemed designed to protect Orton. You know, after he was basically squashed.

Lesnar keeps hammering on him until the always intimidating Shane McMahon comes out, earning himself an F5 (which thankfully didn’t lead anywhere). Heyman panics as they leave to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. If you cut an hour (or more) out of this, it’s bordering on the classic level. As it is, this is just a good show that runs WAY too long. At some point you have to cut something out and WWE just refuses to do that. Cut out the Dudleys match or the women’s tag and give us some breathing room here because sweet goodness this show could use it.

Now that being said, there’s some outstanding stuff on here with the Styles vs. Cena match as an instant classic, the Women’s Title being very good, a great Universal Title match and really only the Tag Team Title match being without much value. The show is certainly good and the positives outweigh the negatives but unless the show is a masterpiece, fans are going to start losing interest near the end. It’s a solid show but cut out a good forty minutes to really make it great.

Ratings Comparison

American Alpha/Hype Bros/Usos vs. Breezango/Ascension/Vaudevillains

Original: C

2017 Redo: B-

Dudley Boyz vs. Neville/Sami Zayn

Original: C

2017 Redo: C-

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Original: B-

2017 Redo: B

Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Original: C+

2017 Redo: C+

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Original: B

2017 Redo: B

Miz vs. Apollo Crews

Original: C

2017 Redo: D+

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A

2017 Redo: A

New Day vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

2017 Redo: D

Dolph Ziggler vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Natalya/Alexa Bliss/Nikki Bella vs. Becky Lynch/Naomi/Carmella

Original: C

2017 Redo: D

Finn Balor vs. Seth Rollins

Original: B+

2017 Redo: D+

Brock Lesnar vs. Randy Orton

Original: C+

2017 Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B

2017 Redo: B-

That’s quite the drop on Ambrose vs. Ziggler and Lesnar vs. Orton. Some of them are spot on though and that’s not the biggest surprise.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2016/08/21/summerslam-2016-they-didnt/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Summerslam 2013
Date: August 18, 2013
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,739
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s a double main event tonight with a pair of smaller guys vs. big powerhouses with CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar and Daniel Bryan challenging John Cena for the World Title. This is remembered as one of the best shows in a very long time for WWE and it should be interesting to see how well it holds up. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: United States Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Rob Van Dam

Ambrose is defending and there’s no Shield with him to start. Some standing switches go nowhere and Ambrose continues to look moderately displeased by the whole thing at worst. Rob is right back up with a spinning kick to the chest, meaning he can hit those finger pokes. You don’t do that to Ambrose, who chops away in the corner and stops a charging Rob with a kick to the face.

The neck crank goes on, followed by a running dropkick against the ropes to keep Rob in trouble. It’s back to the chinlock with the microphones picking up the spot calling. Rob is right back up with a kick to the face and the split legged moonsault out of the corner for two. A kick to the head breaks up the original Dirty Deeds (headlock driver) but here are Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. That brings out Mark Henry and Big Show and we take a break. Back with everyone standing at ringside and Dean dropping an elbow for two. The ECW chants bring Rob back to life but Dean sends him outside.

That means a staredown between the four on the floor with Rob managing a suplex on Dean. The spinning kick to the back on the apron has Dean in even more trouble and it’s a top rope cannonball for two back inside. Dean is right back with a spinebuster for two of his own but misses his top rope elbow. Rob has to go after Rollins instead of trying the Five Star so he kicks Dean down again. The Five Star connects but Roman Reigns comes in with a spear for the DQ at 13:40.

Rating: B-. This worked rather well and is one of Van Dam’s last good matches either in WWE or anywhere for that matter. He looked like his old self here and made Ambrose look good, even when he got the DQ win. This was still before Shield had reached their peak and they were far better as a team anyway. It got the crowd going and happened to be a good match in the process. Not bad for the Kickoff.

Here’s the Miz as your host for the evening. His task at the moment: tell us about the main events we already know. How TNA of him. We’re about to hear our first match but Fandango and Summer Rae cut him off with some dancing. Miz: “Really? Really? WELCOME TO SUMMERSLAM!”

The opening video focuses on Los Angeles and how big things happen here. Like Summerslam. That’s a nice motif and it moves into the double main event, which is indeed sounding great. Future note: the music during this video would become Akira Tozawa’s theme (not sure if that’s a Network edit or not).

Dig that pyro. Seriously with all the money they have, we can only get it at Wrestlemania and the Saudi shows?

Jojo from Total Divas sings the National Anthem. This was a plot point on Total Divas because that she needed to stretch for plot points.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

This is a Ring of Fire match, meaning an Inferno match with pins and submissions only. It’s also Bray’s in-ring debut, which is almost weird to imagine. Harper and Rowan are in Wyatt’s corner, as tends to be the case. The bell rings and the flames come up, going all of six inches high. Kane slugs away to start and the flames do go higher as someone lands on the mat.

Harper and Rowan get closer to the ring and the flames go WAY up to make things look a lot better. Kane hits a suplex to pop the flames again and avoids a big boot, sending Bray close to the fire. Bray’s running splash in the corner connects and he hammers away as the fans aren’t exactly thrilled so far. Back up and Kane sends him into the corner and the side slam makes the flames go up again. The chokeslam is broken up and Harper tries to throw in a kendo stick but the flames cut it off.

Cue the fireman to put the stick out, allowing Kane to hit the chokeslam. Rowan grabs the fire extinguisher to try and put out the flames but they come right back up as Kane hits another chokeslam. For some reason there’s no cover so Kane hits a third chokeslam, meaning it’s Tombstone time. Hold on again though as Harper and Rowan put a blanket over the flames and get in for the beatdown. The fans want Undertaker but settle for Sister Abigail to finish Kane at 7:49.

Rating: F. Well that was dumb. You have Wyatt getting destroyed until the goons saved him, the flames not lasting seven minutes before someone figured a way around them, and the match being dreadful until the ending. Pick two of them and you can figure out what was wrong with this one. It was a good idea on paper but the execution was a nightmare, which sums up Wyatt’s whole career.

Post match Wyatt puts on his hat and sits in the rocking chair as Harper and Rowan put Kane’s head on the steps. They pick up the other steps and crush his head for the big knockout, which looked better than most of the match. Harper and Rowan carry Kane out.

The Kickoff Show panel talks about the Wyatt Family.

On the Kickoff Show, Paul Heyman talked about how the real story of David vs. Goliath is that Goliath took the best shot and then destroyed David. Heyman has gotten both sides to agree that tonight can be No DQ so Lesnar can finish Punk for good.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Sandow is Mr. Money in the Bank and cost Cody the briefcase to break up their team. Before the match, Sandow talks about how there have been great pairings throughout literary history, with each pair having a lackey. Tonight, Sandow proves that he was the leader by sending Cody back to the land of clowns. Cody starts fast and hammers away before getting two off a backdrop. Sandow is right back with a suplex and a double arm crank as this is already feeling like a TV match.

An early Cross Rhodes attempt is blocked and Sandow hits the Russian legsweep into the wind-up elbow for two. Something like Edge’s Edgecation goes on but Cody kicks away without much effort. Cody catches him on top with a MuscleBuster of all things and that gets the fans into things for a change. A missile dropkick gives Cody two more and the Disaster Kick knocks Sandow silly for another two. Cody misses a charge into the post to give Sandow two but Cody snaps off Cross Rhodes for the pin at 6:39.

Rating: D. This was a case where Cody should have won the briefcase and moved up to the World Title scene but instead they went with Sandow and the whole thing flopped because no one bought him in that spot. Maybe they were planning on having Cody take the briefcase from him, but the damage was already done. It’s a case of putting too much thought into things as WWE screwed up something else.

We recap Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio for the Smackdown World Title. Alberto had put Christian on the shelf late last year and now Christian is the challenger of the month. Actually saying this is recapping Christian vs. Alberto is a little misleading as Alberto is neither seen nor mentioned in the video. I know he’s not interesting but come on now.

Smackdown World Title: Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto is defending. They circle each other a few times until a loud kick to the leg has Christian in trouble. A headlock doesn’t do much for the champ as Christian comes back up with a right hand and a toss over the ropes. Back in and Christian gets caught on top for the running enziguri into the running kicks to the chest. It’s time to go to the arm, as tends to be Del Rio’s style.

The armbar doesn’t last long so Del Rio throws him into the air for the big crash to the mat. A top rope double stomp to the arm gets two but Del Rio misses a charge and goes crashing out to the floor. That lets Christian hit a dive off the top and they’re both down. Back in and Del Rio goes right back to the arm, because it’s a plan that works well. He deviates from said plan by going up and diving into raised boots though, allowing Christian to hammer away in the corner.

The high crossbody gets two on the champ but the Killswitch is countered into a Backstabber. Another running enziguri in the corner rocks Christian for two more but he’s fine enough to hit a middle rope elbow to the jaw. A super hurricanrana gives Christian another two and it’s time for the spear.

Since the idea of selling Christian’s spear makes anyone cringe, Del Rio dropkicks him in the face for two instead. There’s a low superkick for another two, with the fans dubbing this awesome. Eh…..it’s close but I don’t know about that. Christian hits the spear out of nowhere but the arm is banged up, allowing Del Rio to slap on the armbreaker for the tap at 12:29.

Rating: B. I can’t go all the way to awesome but this was a rather fun match with Christian throwing everything he had. That being said, I wasn’t buying a lot of the near falls as Christian never hit the Killswitch and Del Rio never won with anything but the armbreaker. Christian’s career was more or less done at this point, as he would be put out of action again in a few months and have his last comeback with his final match in March.

Post match Del Rio says he’ll be the hero Los Angeles needs. Someone get this man a big bus!

Video on Summerslam Axxess earlier in the day, complete with a women’s tag match including Marina Menunos.

Maria is here and talks about the Bella Twins freaking out about Maria saying Natalya did well on Total Divas. Cue Fandango and Summer Rae to dance but Maria and Miz do just the same, leaving Fandango and Summer looking annoyed.

Natalya vs. Brie Bella

Cameron, Naomi, Eva Marie and Nikki Bella are here because this is the Total Divas match of the night. It’s weird seeing Natalya in regular gear instead of the leather she’s worn for years now. You can tell this is serious as they exchanged SLAPS on Raw. They fight over failed hiptoss attempts to start and it’s time for another slapoff. Brie has to bail to the floor to avoid the Sharpshooter so Nikki and Eva get in some cheating to take Natalya to the floor. The fans chant for JBL instead of this mess before quickly shifting over to the other announcers. Or maybe it’s an old Jerry Graham fan club.

Brie grabs the chinlock as the fans want tables. Egads the idea of the Total Divas crew trying to do something that complicated. The chinlock goes on again because that’s their best idea at the moment. Natalya fights out without much trouble but the Sharpshooter is countered with a rollup into the corner. The other four get in a fight on the floor and it’s a THIRD CHINLOCK in less than five minutes. Natalya breaks it up and, with the fans saying they want Ryder, slaps on the Sharpshooter for the win at 5:21.

Rating: D-. Any match that involves three chinlocks in less than five minutes is pretty self explanatory. There was no story here other than they were arguing about a reality show and that’s enough to get us here. The wrestling was pretty awful with the talented Natalya not being good enough to carry Brie. At least it was short, but this really had no business being on Summerslam.

Ryback, currently a bully, yells at catering about the soup being cold. It’s supposed to be, which Ryback knew of course. The soup goes down the chef’s shirt and then over his head. Ryback: “Feed me moron.” Make sure you catch his podcast so he can tell you how he came up with that entire idea and how it would have been a classic if WWE supported him.

We recap CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar. Punk was about to win Money in the Bank but Paul Heyman turned on him because Punk was nothing without him. Heyman brought Lesnar back in to destroy Punk, who had been Heyman’s friend and client for a long time. It’s a pretty easy tagline: The Best vs. The Beast. This was better than the UFC version: Former UFC Heavyweight Champion vs. The Miserable Failure.

CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar

No DQ. I know I say this a lot, but a fired up Lesnar is a terrifying human being. Punk shrugs off the shoulders in the corner to start so Lesnar just does them again. The CM PUNK chants begin and you can feel the energy in this one. A heck of a beal across the ring rocks Punk and it’s time for some choking in the corner. Punk manages a kick to the head and Lesnar is rocked, followed by some running knees to put him outside.

The suicide dive connects as I can’t help but look for the baseball sized growth on his back (it’s just hard not to). Punk tries the steps but Brock knocks them right back into him without much effort. Lesnar posts himself though and Punk scores with a top rope dive to stagger him again. The clothesline off the announcers’ table connects as well but Punk makes the mistake of going after Heyman. Lesnar LAUNCHES him over the table and Cole is declaring this one over already.

Back in and Punk starts kicking at the leg so Lesnar hits him in the face (don’t make it complicated). The bearhug stays on the ribs as you can’t fault Lesnar’s plan. Punk’s escape plan: hit Lesnar in the face. See? He’s learning too. Lesnar goes right back to the ribs and the slow pace continues. Another bearhug goes on and gets broken up by more shots to the face. Punk kicks him in the ribs and goes up, only to dive into a World’s Strongest Slam (giving us a great OH DANG IT face).

Some backbreakers get two as Punk’s ribs are being destroyed and we hit the chinlock. Punk bites the ear to escape and starts striking away, setting up a top rope knee to the face to FINALLY put Lesnar down. Some running knees in the corner connect and a kick to the head sets up the Macho Elbow (almost a splash) for a hot two. The GTS and F5 are both countered so Punk kicks him in the head again.

Another GTS attempt is countered into the Kimura but that’s reversed into a triangle choke. You just don’t do that to a power guy like Lesnar though, as he turns it over into a powerbomb….which doesn’t break anything. Lesnar powers up again though, this time into a heck of a running powerbomb for the real break. The delayed cover gets two and a ticked off Lesnar rolls some suplexes for two more.

Lesnar takes his sweet time going outside so Punk can get up top for a dive. That’s blocked by a raised chair, but Punk still drives it into Lesnar at the same time. That means Punk can beat the heck out of Lesnar with the chair and it’s Punk getting fired up this time. Back in and Punk hits him low, meaning it’s time to go up top for the Macho Elbow with the chair. Lesnar can’t get up (that’s a rare shot) so Punk hits him again, leaving Heyman to take the chair.

Brock is back up and grabs the F5 but Punk grabs Heyman’s tie for the block. Punk slips out and hits the GTS with Heyman having to make a save. The chase is on and Punk runs into the F5, which is countered into a DDT for two. The Anaconda Vice goes on, but since Lesnar’s legs aren’t kicking you know it’s not a finish. Heyman tries to come in with a chair….but Punk steps onto it. A right hand drops Heyman and Punk puts him in the Vice (like an idiot). Lesnar gets in the chair shot to Punk and the F5 onto the chair is good for the pin at 25:17.

Rating: A. Oh I loved this one all over again. The one part holding it back was Heyman getting involved once too often and Punk getting stupid by putting him in the Vice (he’s way too smart to get that caught up no matter what). Other than that, this was an incredible display of the underdog (who happens to be a multiple time World Champion) going after the unbeatable monster and getting dangerously close to stopping him. I was getting into the near falls here and that says a lot given that I knew how it was ending. Awesome stuff and the blueprint for how to have a smaller guy fight Lesnar.

Punk gets the big hero’s sendoff in what would be his last great match.

A fan took a Mark Henry splash for Summerslam tickets. I’d do it too. The fan and his friends will be ringside for the next match.

Dolph Ziggler/Kaitlyn vs. Big E. Langston/AJ Lee

Langston and Lee turned on Ziggler so he got Kaitlyn, who lost the Divas Title to AJ, on his side for this. It’s so strange seeing Big E. as his old self. The guys start and Big E. goes straight to an abdominal stretch to take over. It’s already off to the women with AJ kicking Kaitlyn in the face for two. The sleeper on Kaitlyn’s back keeps things slow and we look at the fans eating Doritos (sponsor).

Kaitlyn fights up and brings Ziggler back in for the dropkick and rapid fire elbow drops to Big E. Since they’re just elbows, Big E. is right back up with an over the shoulder backbreaker for two with Kaitlyn making the save. A hard running shoulder in the corner only hits post, leaving Kaitlyn to hit a heck of a spear to AJ on the floor (AJ always sold that perfectly). Big E. is fine enough to try the Big Ending but Ziggler reverses into the Zig Zag for the pin at 6:45.

Rating: D+. This was nothing but a way to let the crowd calm down a bit after the instant classic and there’s nothing wrong with being in that spot. Kaitlyn’s spear looked awesome and it was always cool to see Big E. throwing humans around like they were toys. The Ziggler push was already dying around this time but somehow he would still be kicking around in big spots six years later. WWE is funny/stupid in that way.

Fandango interrupts Miz one more time so Miz lays him out. Cole: “It’s Fan-DOWN-Go.” No Cole, it isn’t.

The Kickoff Panel does what Kickoff Panels do. In this case that means picking Daniel Bryan to beat John Cena for the title.

We recap Cena vs. Bryan. Cena was given the chance to pick his challenger for this show and selected Bryan, who had worked his way up the card like few others in recent years. Management hated the idea because Bryan wasn’t good enough and tried to give Bryan a corporate makeover. Bryan refused to cut his beard though because he was going to be himself. HHH, who has seemed to favor Bryan, is guest referee. Bryan and Cena have played up the sports entertainment vs. wrestling deal, which is exactly what this match should be about.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is challenging with HHH as guest referee. Cena is also sporting a massive growth on his elbow, which was leaving him desperately in need of surgery because it’s the size of a baseball. Bryan isn’t getting the superstar pops yet but he’s cheered more than Cena. We get the Big Match Intros and I had forgotten about Bryan’s THE BEARD IS HERE shirt. Cena grabs a headlock to start as they have a ton of time here.

Bryan rolls out with no trouble and it’s an early standoff. Back up and Cena tries a test of strength, which is blocked by a bridge. The YES Lock attempt sends Cena bailing to the floor and he tells the doctor that his arm is fine. Back in and Bryan takes him down into the surfboard knee stomp as Cena is in way over his head with the wrestling. Therefore, he runs Bryan over for a knock to the floor because power is his best bet. Cena follows him outside but gets sent into the steps, only to manage a suplex off the steps to put Bryan down again.

Back in and Cena whips him hard into the corner as Bryan has no answer for the power game just yet. A Batista Bomb gives Cena two and the chinlock goes on. Bryan fights up and forearms away, setting up some kicks in the corner to put Cena on defense again. The running clothesline drops Cena and you can feel the fans’ energy picking up. The YES Kicks connect but, as usual, the big one misses and Cena fires off the shoulders.

Cena takes too long with the Shuffle though and gets kicked in the head, only to come back with the ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but the AA doesn’t work just yet. Instead Bryan hits a missile dropkick for two as they’re going back and forth very well here. Over ten minutes in, Bryan finally goes after the BIG FREAKING BULGE on his arm to take over. Cena tries the STF but Bryan kicks away and grabs one of his own. The rope is grabbed so Bryan hits a pair of German suplexes for a pair of twos.

Now it’s off to the YES Lock but Cena slips out, earning himself a guillotine choke instead. That’s countered with a backdrop into the corner (cool) and they’re both down for a second. Cena grabs the AA out of nowhere for two and they’re down a bit longer. With nothing working, Cena goes up but Bryan catches him with the running forearms to stagger him. Bryan superplexes him down but hangs on to stay up top for a cool visual.

The Swan Dive connects for two so Cena runs him over with the clothesline for two of his own. Cole mentions that HHH is referee, marking the most significant HHH portion of the match over twenty minutes in. Cena’s super AA is blocked by elbows to the head but Cena blocks the super hurricanrana. That means jumping down and dropping Bryan on top of his head in a botch I had forgotten about so the cringing is strong. The STF goes on with Bryan rolling over to take off some of the pressure.

Bryan manages to reverse into the YES Lock until Cena makes the rope. The running corner dropkicks have Cena in more trouble so he comes out of the corner with the hard clothesline to turn Bryan inside out. The slugout it on until they both hit flying shoulders for another double knockdown. Bryan wins the next slugout but the moonsault out of the corner is caught on Cena’s shoulders. That’s countered into a DDT and they’re both down again. Bryan tries a high crossbody but gets caught in the AA. It’s reversed again and Bryan kicks him in the head, setting up the debuting running knee for the pin and the title at 26:54.

Rating: A+. I go back and forth on which of the two big matches I like more and this time around I liked the story that much more. Bryan debuting the running knee to win is still one of my favorite things in a long time as it came out of nowhere and makes the move look devastating right off the bat. They had a great battle of styles here with both guys sticking with their respective specialties until Bryan broke down the machine through heart and determination, plus some awesome strikes. I had a great time with this one and it was one of the best matches I’ve seen in a good while.

Raw World Title: Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan is defending as well as out so Orton wins the title in eight seconds. There’s your major story over the next eight months and yes I still believe that Bryan winning the title at Wrestlemania was the plan all along (details to be determined).

Overall Rating: A-. This is one of those shows where the good is excellent and the rest just exists. That being said, with the two awesome main events and a rather good Del Rio vs. Christian match, you have a seven match card (leaving out the cash-in match) with three of them receiving some rather high praise. That’s about as good as you can get and it’s one of the better shows in recent memory. Yeah the other four matches range from bad to rather bad, but their times combined are about equal to the main event. Excellent show and worth your time (as in less than three hours) to see.

Ratings Comparison

Rob Van Dam vs. Dean Ambrose

Original: B-
2014 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: B-

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

Original: D+

2014 Redo: D

2017 Redo: F+

2019 Redo: F

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Original: C

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C+

2019 Redo: D

Alberto Del Rio vs. Christian

Original: B+

2014 Redo: B

2017 Redo: B

2019 Redo: B

Brie Bella vs. Natalya

Original: F

2014 Redo: D-

2017 Redo: D-

2019 Redo: D-

Brock Lesnar vs. CM Punk

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A

Big E. Langston/AJ Lee vs. Dolph Ziggler/AJ Lee

Original: C-

2014 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D+

2019 Redo: D+

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

Original: A+

2014 Redo: A+

2017 Redo: A+

2019 Redo: A+

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

Original: N/A

2014 Redo: N/A

2017 Redo: N/A

2019 Redo: N/A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

2014 Redo: A

2017 Redo: A-

2019 Redo: A-

Was I in a really bad mood when I watched the Kickoff Show in 2017? And I’m all over the place with Cody vs. Sandow. Other than that, it’s pretty much the definitive set of ratings here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

On the Sasha Banks/Naomi walk out, and how it is going to make the real underlying problem in the women’s division that much worse.

 

https://wrestlingrumors.net/tommyhall/kbs-review-belts-made-walking/

There’s your big twist for the week. Apparently Naomi and Sasha Banks walked out on this week’s Monday Night Raw, when they were supposed to take part in the show’s Six Pack Challenge main event, also featuring Doudrop, Nikki Ash, Becky Lynch and Asuka. Apparently Banks didn’t like the creative, which would have seen Naomi winning, so Naomi went with them. WWE referenced it on Raw and issued a statement, which you can see below:

https://twitter.com/SeanRossSapp/status/1526389791784321028/photo/1

I believe the term here is egads and I’m not sure where to start. First of all, I know it might not have been the best creative or whatever the situation was, but walking out isn’t a good idea. It’s unprofessional and makes you look like you’re throwing your toys out of the crib. To make it worse, this is hardly the first time that Banks has walked out on the company. At this point, I’m almost so sick of hearing about her leaving that I wouldn’t mind if she didn’t return. She’s very talented, but either do your job or stay out.

As for Naomi, I hope she comes to her senses, because she might be talented but she isn’t a big enough star to walk out on her own. Maybe she thinks being part of the extended Anoa’i family gets her out of trouble, but it might not be quite enough. On top of that, you have the Women’s Tag Team Titles and….well maybe this is the way to get rid of those stupid things once and for all.

Overall, I’m not happy that this happened, but Banks has long run out of good graces to make up for something like this. How many times has she walked out now? I’m sure a lot of wrestlers are unhappy with how they are being presented, but stick around until your contract is up or something other than just walking out. Maybe this is fixed soon, but my goodness it’s not looking great for either of them.

Smackdown
Date: May 13, 2022
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Michael Cole, Pat McAfee

We’re fresh off of Wrestlemania Backlash and the biggest story coming out of the show is Ronda Rousey breaking Charlotte’s arm to become the new Smackdown Women’s Champion. Other than that, Roman Reigns continued to dominate and has pretty much no one left in front of him. That isn’t good with the Cell in less than a month. Let’s get to it.

Here is Wrestlemania Backlash if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of the six man main event at Wrestlemania Backlash, with Roman Reigns spearing Riddle for the pin.

Here is RKBro to get things going. Riddle takes the blame for the loss on Sunday but they want Roman Reigns out here right now to let the Usos make the Tag Team Title unification match. Instead, here is Sami Zayn, in a Bloodline shirt, to answer. As the locker room fleader and representing the Bloodline, no one wants this unification match.

Zayn thinks the Raw Tag Team Champions need to go back to Raw, but Riddle dubs Sami as Rusty, because his hair is the color of rust. That’s not his name, but Orton says Sami is calling shots for the Bloodline. That gives Randy an idea: Riddle vs. Sami, and if Riddle wins, RKBro gets their unification match. Orton: “RUSTY! RUSTY!” Sami isn’t sure, but Adam Pearce shows up and he sure is…but it won’t be for the title match, because Zayn doesn’t have that authority.

Sami Zayn vs. Riddle

Riddle goes for a quickly broken triangle choke and Sami gets in a few shots. The chinlock is broken up so Riddle kicks him in the head for a knockdown. A suplex gets Sami out of trouble but Riddle blocks the Helluva Kick. Riddle goes up and gets shoved down onto the barricade (ala Rob Van Dam) as we take a break.

Back with Riddle kneeing Sami out of the air for two but Sami knocks him to the apron. Sami’s hanging DDT is broken up and Riddle sends him outside for a Floating Bro. Back in and the snap powerslam but Sami bails to the floor before the RKO can launch. With Riddle going after him, Sami gets in a ram into the timekeeper’s area, only to have riddle dive back in at nine. The Bro Derek gives Riddle the pin at 10:17.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where they were allowed to do their thing and they made it work. Riddle and Zayn could have a decent match in their sleep and they had ten minutes to make that happen here. Riddle bringing back the Bro Derek was nice, especially after Orton mentioned him using the RKO a bit too much this week on Raw Talk.

In the back, Roman Reigns isn’t happy about RKBro being here. The Usos have this though and they’re going to do something about it.

Post break, Sami Zayn runs into Shinsuke Nakamura and calls him the table’s a** (I think). Laughter ensues and Sami looks crushed.

Here is Ronda Rousey to brag about her title win. See, Charlotte was a 13 time Women’s Champ (uh, she still is Ronda) but look who has the title now. Rousey says Charlotte was tough but she would die before quitting. She’s going to be a fighting champion though so it’s open challenge time.

Women’s Title: Ronda Rousey vs. Raquel Rodriguez

Rousey is defending and gets powered into the corner to start. An early Piper’s Pit attempt is countered with a knee, setting up a clothesline for two. Back to back fall away slams send Rousey flying and an over the shoulder backbreaker makes it even worse. A side slam cuts Rousey off again but Rodriguez misses something off the middle rope.

Rousey strikes away and tries a tornado DDT, only to switch it into a guillotine. That’s powered into a suplex for two on Rousey and a swinging torture rack slam gets the same. The Chingona Bomb is countered though and Rousey gets the ankle lock. Rodriguez breaks that up though and a big boot gets two. A powerbomb is loaded up but Rousey reverses into a hurricanrana to retain at 5:54.

Rating: B. Where the heck did that come? This was a star making performance from Rodriguez, who beat Rousey up for the better part of five minutes and got caught instead of getting beat. I liked this a lot more than I would have expected and Rousey was in all kinds of trouble before escaping with the win. Good stuff here and quite the surprise.

Respect is shown post match.

In the back, Aliyah and Shotzi argue over how that should have been their title shot but Adam Pearce doesn’t really know what to say. End of segment.

Here is Madcap Moss for a chat. He is proud of his win over Happy Corbin, even if Corbin could have won by making him tap out with one more story about his watch. Now Moss wants to do everything, from forming a team with Sasha Banks called Madcap Boss, win Money in the Bank, replace title belts with title suspenders….and here is Happy Corbin to chair him down, because this feud must continue. Then Corbin slides in the Andre the Giant trophy and uses it to Pillmanize a chair around Moss’ neck.

Post break, Moss is being loaded into the ambulance and here is Corbin to say it’s off to the Mosspital.

Women’s Tag Team Titles: Natalya/Shayna Baszler vs. Sasha Banks/Naomi

Naomi and Banks are defending and it’s Naomi ducking under Baszler’s shot to start. Banks comes in and takes Natalya down, setting up an exchange of rollups for two each. Baszler saves Natalya from the Bank Statement and we take a break. Back with Banks getting caught in a Hart Attack with Naomi having to make the save.

Naomi avoids the stomp to the arm on the apron and gets the tag, allowing her to clean house. The springboard spinning kick to the face gets two on Natalya but Natalya takes Banks down. The Sharpshooter attempt on Naomi is countered into a small package to retain the titles at 8:33.

Rating: C. This match was the culmination of a feud that started and then came to an end. I’m really not sure what else to say about it, as they had singles matches after the tag match was all but set, then they had the title match where the champions retained. These titles continue to be the opposite of interesting, which I believe is called the Natalya.

Ricochet comes up to Drew Gulak, who asks for advice. Ricochet says if he had quit, he wouldn’t have the Intercontinental Title. He tells Gulak to be his best self, so Gulak is ready for Gunther. Then Gulak runs into Gunther, who slams him into a door and breaks his chest with a chop.

Kofi Kingston vs. Butch

Xavier Woods, Ridge Holland and Sheamus are at ringside. Butch jumps him to start and hammers on the mat but Kofi sends him to the floor, allowing Woods to play some trombone. Butch gets dropped again and Kofi winds up on Woods’ shoulders (more tromboning ensues) as we take a break.

Back with Kofi fighting out of a neck crank and hammering away. The SOS gets two on Butch but he’s back with an enziguri for a breather. Kofi gets in a kick of his own and the standing double stomp gets two more. Trouble in Paradise is loaded up but everyone gets in a fight on the floor, allowing Butch to grab the Bitter End for the pin at 8:33.

Rating: C+. If WWE just has to have Dunne as….whatever Butch is supposed to be, at least they have gotten past the point of having him lose to small packages over and over. The match wasn’t a classic but it was god enough to fill in some TV time, while also letting Butch have a win for a change.

Post match Butch runs through the crowd but comes back to join his friends on the stage.

Sami Zayn wants Paul Heyman to tell Roman Reigns what he did earlier to stand up for the Bloodline. He and Reigns need to be on the same page so Heyman assures him that Reigns is appreciative. Sami is pleased.

Here is the Bloodline to address RKBro. Reigns tells Pennsylvania to acknowledge him and they’ve been doing this for a little while. They smash them on Sunday and then tell you what’s next on Friday. Well they beat Drew McIntyre and RKBro on Sunday, but what is RKBro going to do about it?

Cue RKBro, with Randy Orton saying John Cena is ten times the star that Reigns will ever be. Riddle talks about how he likes to set the mood with his laptop at night and reaches to his nightstand…..Orton: “Let me stop you right there.” Riddle: “I meant I reached for headphones.” Orton: “To be fair, I didn’t know where you were going with that.”

Riddle was watching their Wrestlemania Backlash match and now he wants the Usos even more. Orton talks about how they are going to unify the titles…and he just realized he’s a lot taller than Reigns. The Usos accept the challenge but Reigns isn’t sure about this. We’ll do it next Friday instead, with the Usos bragging about how they’re going to win. Riddle knees Reigns in the face and RKBro bails to end the show. They set up the match, but RKBro’s comedy continues to be great as it feels like they’re coming up with this stuff off of the top of their heads, which you don’t get elsewhere in WWE.

Overall Rating: B-. For a show without much to build from after the pay per view, this show was a pretty good use of two hours. RKBro vs. the Usos is finally set (though I can’t imagine a clean winner) and Rousey vs. Rodriguez was a heck of a nice surprise. I had a good time with this show and it flew by, which is always a nice feeling. They still need to come up with something for the Cell, but at least we have some time before we get that far.

Results
Riddle b. Sami Zayn – Bro Derek
Ronda Rousey b. Raquel Rodriguez – Hurricanrana
Sasha Banks/Naomi b. Natalya/Shayna Baszler – Small package to Natalya
Butch b. Kofi Kingston – Bitter End

 

 

 

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