Monday Nitro
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: DCU Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 9,400
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

This is another request and the ultra rare Nitro request on top of that. This show is another three hour show from WCW and the first hour is considered one of the worst hours of wrestling TV ever. This is also the go home show for Uncensored which has a main event of Hogan vs. Flair. There’s some innovative thinking. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the special cage (the Cell) being built for the main event on Sunday.

We get a clip from Thunder with Arn Anderson talking to Flair, trying to console him about David Flair turning on his dad. Flair talks about how he’s got Hogan to worry about so he can’t worry about David right now. It’s David’s responsibility and that’s not Ric’s problem anymore. Anderson says that David is young and making mistakes. Ric says that’s not his problem right now. He says the Horsemen are back on top if he wins the title. Anderson says he hopes this is just a game face and that he really is concerned. Flair basically says screw that, it’s my time. Anderson doesn’t like it. This goes on for like seven minutes.

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The Nitro Girls are in Rhode Island at some kind of Nitro Party with competitions and such.

We go to a live Nitro Party in Providence, Rhode Island. They’re at a university apparently. There’s a spring break special and a guy here (last name Kazarian) won a trip to it.

We get introduced to Nitro Girl AC Jazz and see one of their practices.

Hogan talks about how everyone hates him but he did it for the money or something. This is tied into David Flair joining the NWO. Ric is only obsessed with the belt and power and doesn’t care at all about his son bailing. Hogan would NEVER do that but he’s willing to give Flair another shot, but he wants Flair’s career vs. the title. This also runs 5 minutes.

We’re over 20 minutes into this show and we haven’t seen the arena yet.

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Back to the Nitro Party after a presumed commercial. Konnan is at the party too.

Here’s a Konnan rap video to make sure we don’t get any wrestling.

Another NWO video, this one of Hogan and Nash watching a Flair promo. It’s basically them riffing on him as Flair talks about coming back to WCW and seeing his son leave him for the NWO. Hogan and Nash make Buddy Landell jokes that maybe 2% of the audience will get. The NWO says they’ll regroup.

Video on Lex Luger.

Scott Steiner is pulled over while driving a Hummer limo. The cops recognize him and Bagwell……and make them cops. We get a montage of them “stopping crimes” after starting them in the first place while calling each other Starsky and Hutch.

Back to the party with the girls dancing. Kidman is there now and thinks Mysterio can beat Nash.

Video on Mysterio. The NWO took his mask so this Sunday he can get revenge.

Torrie Wilson is shooting a gun at a shooting range when Hogan and Nash come in. They go in to see her and the camera would be right in the path of her bullets. The guys suggest she sleep with David to get him back on their side. They plan to meet for dinner later.

45 minutes in, no arena yet. Keep in mind that this was the hour they had unopposed by Raw. Raw would be having the final push to Mania 15, meaning Austin vs. Rock/McMahon. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY GIVE US. Is anyone surprised they went out of business?

And uh, here’s the dinner. They talk about destroying Ric Flair and plan about David.

See, apparently at this point there were four dark matches going on in the arena. We’re getting this hour of stuff instead. Looking at the card though, this might be more entertaining. Looking at Torrie Wilson with a dress that comes to her upper thigh is never a problem. She says there’s another hot girl she knows. The girl is some chick named Denise who I don’t recognize. Her last name is Robinson, meaning we get Graduate jokes. Apparently she’ll get 20 grand for taking care of David. Sounds like a sweet deal actually.

Now we get the theme song. SO WHAT WAS THAT FIRST HOUR???

We go to the arena…for an interview. Well of course we do. Gene calls out Goldberg for a chat but we get Torrie and David instead. David wants to talk to Ric man to man tonight. Goldberg’s music hits….and we take a break. Back with Goldberg in the ring, talking to David about respect. He isn’t going to take care of things like he usually would. That’s good. It might be entertaining.

David needs to respect what his father has done for the business because it’s more than David and his friends could ever do. David also needs to respect Goldberg because this is his time. David shoves him and gets choked, so here comes Ric. Flair sprints down and chops Goldberg once before turning to David, who is running away. Press slam to Ric (who is president at this point) and Naitch is in trouble. Flair makes Goldberg vs. himself tonight. Goldberg says Flair is crossing the line so Flair yells some more.

ANOTHER commercial.

Raven vs. Hak

Falls count anywhere. Neither gets an entrance. Raven has a chair and Hak (Sandman) has a cane, but as the bell rings….they hug. Oh never mind as Raven pounds him down almost immediately. HARD cane shot to Hak’s head and they head to the floor. Bam Bam Bigelow will join these two at Uncensored in a triangle match. Hak puts him on the guardrail and hits a leg to the back ala RVD minus the spin.

They go up the ramp with Raven hitting a suplex onto the steel. Bird Boy busts out a table on the stage. He climbs the scaffolding to put Hak through it and here’s Bigelow, who isn’t in the match. He beats up Hak anyway as the fans chant for Goldberg. The bell rings and I guess the match is thrown out to HUGE booing.

Rating: D+. This was stupid. I guess they were previewing the PPV match but it didn’t make me want to see it. Also it’s Raven’s Rules so how can that be a DQ? Stupid match with a stupid ending. The table spot and the cane shot weren’t bad, but what was the point of this?

Apparently the bell was inadvertent so we’re going to continue this in the same match we’ll see on Sunday. Great.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They’re fighting in the back with Hak being thrown all over the place. Hak comes back and fights up to an ambulance. Here’s Raven again and it’s just random brawling. There’s a trash cart and Hak goes for a ride in it. They fight over to Flair’s limo and Raven DDTs Hak on the hood, only to get crushed by Bigelow.

He hits Raven in the groin on the hood and they’re all exhausted. They keep beating on each other and you can hear the boring chants. The problem here is they’re just laying around, doing a spot, then laying around more. They all just walk away to end it. No rating because it wasn’t really a match, but this was STUPID.

Now we get clips of the three guys fighting last week. Ok then.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho (WITH RALPHUS!) comes out wearing a dog collar. Jericho grabs the mic and welcomes us to Monday Night Jericho. Tony: “Hey we’re talking here fellow!” Chris wants to talk about Perry Saturn, who has challenged Jericho to a chain match on Sunday. Jericho is a master of the chain match though, after training on mountain tops in Nepal. He’s a Swami you see. This match is going to be a chain match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling here.” I think I just died because of that line.

The bell rings so let’s talk about Flair some more. I think you win by pin or submission here. Jericho steps on the chain to pull Lizmark in to start and chokes with it. He wraps the chain around the knee and drops it in a unique spot. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain as Tony talks about the chain match at Starrcade 83. Can we watch that instead? It’s a MUCH better match than anything that’ll be on this show. Lizmark chokes him a bit but walks into a kind of spinebuster and the Liontamer for the tap.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moves in this from Jericho but it was just a squash. Jericho has said he had more or less made up his mind that he was gone soon after this and in fact he would be in the WWF by I believe August, where things would go MUCH better for him. Lizmark never quite meant much in WCW.

Here’s Steiner to say he’s well built and all that. The fans are all fat. Buff Bagwell says Booker is too stupid to back out of the match tonight.

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Booker T

Steiner is TV Champion. The announcers talk about how great the NWO has been at what they’ve done. We’re two and a half years into the plan so far and it still hasn’t worked but whatever. Feeling out process to start and Booker hits a spinning forearm for two. A hook kick knocks Steiner to the floor and Tony complains about Steiner taking a break. Larry goes into some weird environmental speech about breathing clean air before Tony cuts him off.

Back in the ring and Booker rams him into the corner a few times before Scott kicks him low to take over. Out to the floor again and we get a steroids chant. We take a break and come back with Booker hitting a forearm for one but getting taken down by a clothesline. Spinning belly to belly puts Booker down and Steiner keeps pounding away at the back. He pounds Booker down in the corner with punches and gets two off a backbreaker.

Steiner keeps up the power with a slam and chokes Booker in the Tree of Woe. Booker escapes another slam and hits a neckbreaker to break up Steiner’s momentum just for a second. Ax kick out of nowhere puts Steiner down and there’s the Spinarooni. Booker goes up but gets crotched by Bagwell. There’s the Recliner and Booker’s arm drops twice. He holds it up for the third drop so Steiner drops him….which counts as the third arm drop and Steiner wins by knockout. At least it’s over.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match here but Steiner just wasn’t over yet. That didn’t stop the company from shoving him down our throats of course but when did it ever? Bagwell was beyond annoying here and did the match no favors. Still though, it was nice to see a match get some time as opposed to what you were expecting with Raw at this time.

Steiner hits Booker in the back with a chair post match.

We see the Flair vs. Goldberg showdown earlier.

The Nitro Girls dance as Tony talks about upcoming house shows (his words).

Jerry Flynn gets promo time for some reason. Before he talks, Sonny Onoo (one of his opponents on Sunday and minus his accent) comes up but Jerry grabs him by the shirt. Ernest Miller, the other opponent, kicks Flynn in the back of the head and they cut off his mullet.

Scott Norton vs. Rey Mysterio

I think you get the idea here as Mysterio has Nash on Sunday. Norton is looking old here. Rey gets knocked to the floor and is holding his back. There isn’t much to say at all here. Mysterio charges at Norton, Norton knocks him down, Rey lays around a lot, Norton hits him some more, Rey charges at Norton and we repeat it again.

Norton throws him out to the floor and Rey’s back is hurt. Rey counters the shoulderbreaker but gets dropped on the buckle to stop the comeback. Norton kills him with a clothesline but picks him up. He does the same off a one handed press slam. Ok that was cool. Then Rey kicks him low and a fast count pins Norton. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: F. What in the world did this accomplish? Rey looks like a ragdoll, Norton looks like an idiot, I have no reason to believe Rey can beat Nash fairly or have a chance against him, and the match was boring because Norton did little more than stand around the whole time. What was this supposed to accomplish?

More Nitro Girls.

The same cage building video from earlier is shown.

Van Hammer vs. Bret Hart

O……k. Apparently there are more stipulations for Flair vs. Hogan but you have to check the WCW website for them. Egads. Feeling out process to start and Bret is sent to the floor to cool off a bit. Back in and Van Hammer works on the arm but Bret nips up into an arm hold of his own. Van Hammer takes him right back down into a wristlock. He takes Bret into the corner and has been in control most of the match.

Bret is like screw that and hits Hammer low to take over. It’s time to work on the leg so Bret goes through his usual sequence of wear down stuff. Figure Four goes on (the wrong leg) but Van Hammer makes the rope. In a nice heel move Bret won’t let go and spends a long time explaining to the referee that it’s because Hammer is laying on his leg. Small package gets two for Hammer.

Hammer hooks the slowest motion backslide ever for two. Bret goes back to the knee with a cannonball down onto it. The leg gets wrapped around the post and a DDT gets two for the Hitman. Back to the floor and Bret tries to ram the leg into the post again, only to get pulled into it face first. Back in and Hammer suplexes him for no cover. Van Hammer’s cobra clutch slam gets two. An enziguri misses and it’s Sharpshooter time. You know that ends it.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but why would you wasted a 12 minute Bret Hart match on freaking Van Hammer? This is where WCW never made a ton of sense (I know, I know): they had no clue what to do with Bret as he was in the midcard for most of his time there, especially after the first few months where he didn’t do much of anything.

Bret hits the leg with a chair post match.

Hogan and Nash come to the commentary booth and run off Heenan and Tenay.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

You know you might think this should be saved for a PPV. That would make too much sense I guess though. Nash brings up a good question: why does Flair wear his knee pads below his knees? Flair gets taken down quickly and is shoved down a second time. Shoulder block doesn’t work at all for Flair. A second does even less. A third results in a gorilla press powerslam to have Flair in agony.

Flair tries to walk up the aisle but Goldberg drags him back. Nash talks about some really strong dude from the Emerald city but he isn’t sure what happened to him. A low blow puts Goldberg down (popular move tonight) and chops don’t work. Another low blow puts Goldie down for an easily broken two count. Goldberg stars a comeback but Flair kicks him low a third time. Refereeing in this company sucks.

Time to go after the legs and after a single shot it’s Figure Four time. That gets powered out of so Flair fires off some kicks. Goldberg no sells them and sends Flair to the corner for the Flair Flip and out to the floor. Flair gets slammed down but the spear misses and he hits the buckle. Goldberg no sells a suplex and spears him down. The NWO D-Team runs in for the no contest.

Rating: C+. This was getting really good until the bad ending. See, here’s what I don’t get. What was the point in the NWO coming in? Hogan is facing Flair on Sunday so wouldn’t they want him to get hit with the Jackhammer to hurt him more? Goldberg didn’t have a match on Sunday and wasn’t on the show at all, so why would they attack him? That’s a basic plot problem.

Hogan and Nash come in also and it’s a big NWO beatdown to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I know the expected thing is to say that this is the worst show ever and all that, but it really isn’t. Don’t get me wrong: it’s bad and this was a chore to sit through, but it wasn’t the worst show ever. This was just dull for the most part. Considering I didn’t have to pay much attention at all to the first hour, this was just a bad Nitro. That being said, the show still sucks, but I’ve seen far worse shows. The lack of energy or anyone caring at all is really evident though.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

AWE Night of the Legends
Date: October 15, 2011
Location: August Expoland, Fishersville, Virginia
Commentators: Chris Cruise, Dutch Mantell, Larry Zbyszko

This is a show that I’ve heard a lot of pretty bad things about for awhile now so you know I’m all over this one. It’s your typical “get some old guys together and have a show for a quick payday” deal with a main event of Ricky Morton vs. Kevin Nash. While that may seem random, they’ve had some legitimate heat between each other over some shoot interview comments. At least these guys are trying. Let’s get to it.

AWE stands for Awesome Wrestling Entertainment. You know we’re in for some good times tonight.

We open with a video talking about how tonight is the night the legends come home again. What legends live in Fishersville, Virginia?

The arena looks kind of like an old TNA arena but a bit darker. That’s not bad and WAY better than you get on some indy shows.

We’re told that AWE is AMERICAN. This is to prevent confusion with the Bolivian AWE.

The announcers talk about the show. Dutch Mantell is on commentary, just like at Heroes of Wrestling. I’m starting to have flashbacks.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Dreamer

No DQ here because what else would it be? Dreamer is of course wearing an AWE shirt because if you want something advertised, call Tommy Dreamer. Funk immediately asks for a mic and says he always gets a physical before he gets in the ring. He yells at the fans but says he’s not supposed to be in a wrestler. Funk says he’s getting in the ring for the fans and Tommy Dreamer because Dreamer loves hardcore. Terry talks about getting older and meaner before blasting Dreamer in the face with the mic.

We head to the floor with Dreamer in trouble and getting a drink thrown into his face. Funk gets thrown into what looks like a school desk before Dreamer is thrown into a thick table. Terry starts throwing plastic chairs at Tommy and crotches him on the steel barricade. Back in and Funk fires off some headbutts including some on all fours. We head to the floor all over again with Dreamer being sent into the barricade again.

Tommy steals a drink and spits it in Terry’s face before heading back inside with a pair of chairs. They chop it out a bit and Dreamer is taken down onto a chair via a drop toehold. Funk goes after Tommy’s knee with a chair and puts on the Spinning Toe Hold. Dreamer hits him in the head with a chair, hits him in the ribs again, and rolls him up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. I do not like matches like this one. Terry Funk may think that he’s ready to be in the ring but he was 67 years old here and did not need to be out there in a wrestling ring. On top of that, the match itself was over out of nowhere (not that I’m complaining from one standpoint) as that small package hit in a flash. I’m guessing there was an injury in there, or perhaps they realized that a 67 year old man doesn’t need to be taking chair shots.

Funk takes out the referee because that’s what he does.

We get highlights of the match because twelve minutes of this isn’t enough yet.

Jamin Olivencia of OVW says that he’s ready to beat Sonjay Dutt again. When was the first match? In about forty seconds, he says Jamin Olivencia about 10 times. The Rock he is not.

Bill Apter, a famous publisher of the top wrestling magazines of the 80s, asks Sonjay Dutt about the upcoming match. Dutt doesn’t have much to say but it’s cool to see Apter.

Jamin Olivencia vs. Sonjay Dutt

Apparently these two are at least semi-regulars in AWE. They stare at each other a lot and Jamin shouts his name again. We immediately start talking about the main event as arm holds are traded. Jamin shouts for the third time and it’s a standoff. He starts to do it for the fifth but Sonjay grabs a headlock, making him the most popular act on the show so far. Really basic stuff so far until Sonjay nips up to slap Jamin in the face.

Things start speeding up a bit with Sonjay hitting a headscissors to send Jamin to the outside. Back in and Dutt snaps off a forearm to the head but Sonjay fires off even more shots to the face. What appeared to be a standing Lionsault is broken up and Jamin hits a running spinning splash for two. Off to a chinlock by Jamin for a bit until Sonjay fights out and sends him out to the floor. A BIG dive takes Jamin down and gets two back inside.

Olivencia hits a spinning clothesline for two but Dutt comes back with a running boot to the face and a springboard splash for two. Jamin comes back with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Sonjay fires off more kicks to stagger Jamin but gets hit by a jumping knee to the face. Olivencia backdrops him down but gets superkicked down as well. Sonjay wins a forearm slugout and we get the sunset flip/heel grabs the rope/referee kicks his arms free spot for two.

The referee gets bumped and Jamin hits a low blow on Sonjay, followed by the O Drop for the pin. What is the O Drop you ask? It appears to be a jumping DDT, but since the camera cut back to the referee with Jamin in mid jump, it might have been a carnival act similar to juggling oranges as 5000lbs of zucchini falls on Dutt for the pin.

Rating: C+. Until the ending here, this was getting pretty good. I’ve heard people say this show is at the level of Heroes of Wrestling or even worse which now scares me even more. Heroes had nothing of this level of speed or interest, so how bad can the rest of this show be? Anyway, these two looked good out there although Olivencia is pretty bland.

We get more highlights to eat up some time which I’m guessing is going to be a regular thing.

We get a clip from the contract signing for Morton vs. Nash. Nash signs with no issues and Morton talks about why he hates Kevin Nash. I kid you not, this is the explanation he gives: “Just go on the internet and type in ‘Ricky Morton hates Kevin Nash’ and you’ll find out what it’s all about.

Some heel manager (I think) named Rick Garrison joins commentary.

C.W. Anderson is ready for Perry Saturn.

Saturn cuts a goofy promo before getting even goofier.

Perry Saturn vs. C.W. Anderson

This is Saturn’s return match after being a homeless drug addict who people thought was dead for years. Saturn now has a tattoo on his face ala Mike Tyson. He also has a beer gut and no mustache now which is a weird look for him. Feeling out process to start with Saturn shoving Anderson into the corner. This appears to be the goofy Saturn again which isn’t really that fun to watch.

C.W. bails to the floor almost immediately and hits Saturn in the head with a chair as Saturn tries a suicide dive. Back in and Perry is busted open just a bit. Perry’s arm is sent into the buckle and we get our first psychology of the match. Off to an armbar as the match stays slow. A clothesline gets a very slow two count for Anderson and he throws Saturn to the floor for fun.

Back in and it’s back to the armbar as the announcers bicker about some nonsense. Anderson charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn takes him down with a bulldog. Back up and Saturn charges into a superkick for two but he comes back with a fast sunset flip for a very slow three count to win his return match.

Rating: D+. Considering this was his first match back in nine years, this was pretty good stuff. The problem here is mainly with Anderson. I’ve never gotten the appeal of this guy but he keeps getting work because of a few months he spent working with ECW near the end. Wrestling is funny that way.

Mohammed Akbar (OVW guy I think) talks about how he’s here fighting for Persian culture against Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Duggan says he isn’t your usual old tough guy.

Mohammed Akbar vs. Jim Duggan

Akbar cuts a very generic heel promo about how rich he is which makes him better than us. Duggan finally cuts him off and it’s time to fight. We head to the ring and Jim slugs Akbar to the floor. It’s very clear here that Akbar is in WAY over his head here. A hiptoss puts Akbar down and we’re well into the usual Duggan formula here. Mohammed gets in a shot and hits the chinlock for a bit. After a minute long “bit”, Duggan fights up and hits the Three Point Clothesline for the easy pin. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D-. This was every Duggan match you’ve ever seen that fits the form of a Duggan match. Akbar is a guy from OVW and not a very good one at that. Duggan as the American patriot is about as basic gimmick as you could ask for and it will likely be kicking around some indy company for years to come.

Duggan yells at a whining Akbar post match.

Alex Silva, who I think was on Impact once, says that he’ll walk the walk against Finlay.

Finlay talks about experience and all that jazz.

Alex Silva vs. Fit Finlay

Silva has Tammy Lynn Sytch, aka Sunny, with him for no apparent reason. She has since been arrested six times in like six months so take this for what you will. Finlay shoves him down to start and knocks Silva to the floor with a forearm to the face. Back in and Finlay takes it to the mat with a headlock. Naturally the announcers talk about the main event in case someone has bought the show but doesn’t want to see the main event I guess.

Silva bails again and it’s back to a leg lock this time. We hit the headlock again as the match starts to drag already. Silva counters into a headscissors for about two minutes until Finlay fights up again. There’s an armdrag to put Silva down and Finlay fires off some knees to the back. A kind of Russian legsweep takes Silva down as we’re somehow over ten minutes into this match.

Finlay is sent into the corner where he tries to jump to the middle rope, only to fall down clutching his knee. We now basically stop all contact between the guys in the ring although Sunny does rake Finlay’s eyes a few times. Silva covers for two but then backs up again. Finlay drops to the floor and screams a lot but the referee won’t stop the match. We’re at four minutes now with no significant contact. Silva calls Finlay a coward so Fit charges back in and gets slugged down for a bit. Alex works on the knee with a DDT and stomps away a bit.

They head to the floor with Silva chopping away against the barricade and kicking at the knee a bit more. Back in and we hit another leg lock followed by a heel hook and an ankle lock. Even with the knee injury this is still very dull stuff. Finlay comes back with some chops but Silva sends him to the floor. Silva gets caught in the ring apron and Finlay pounds away before we go back inside. Finlay beats him up even more and manages a Regal Roll for two. Silva goes up but Finlay catches him in the Celtic Cross (think White Noise) but Tammy trips him. The distraction lets Silva hit Finlay low for the pin.

Rating: D. This was supposed to get Silva over, right? If that’s the case, this company has a very wrong idea about what it means to put someone over. This made him look like he couldn’t beat an old man without a freak injury, Sunny and a low blow. Why does that make me want to see Silva again? The match would have been boring with or without the injury so you can’t blame that either. Just a boring match.

Silva brags from the locker room.

Finlay says Silva better be out of the territory soon.

Short Sleeve Sampson vs. Abo Shongo

Now we get midgets. Oh joy. Sampson does a kind of rap but it’s absolutely awful and winds up with an “I say Short Sleeve, you say Sampson” chant. Shongo isn’t a midget and stands about 5’7, making this match even worse. The tale of the tape lists Shongo from Parts Unknown but Cruise says he’s from Cameroon. That’s the kind of show we’re dealing with here.

Sampson knocks him to the floor and tries a dive, only to stop when Shongo isn’t ready. As Abo comes back in, Short Sleeve crotches him and hits a low dropkick for two. Shongo clotheslines him right back down as this is already going nowhere. Cruise: “How do you pin a midget?” Dutch: “You lay him on the mat and hold his shoulders down for three.” Shongo hooks a cravate as this is going nowhere.

It’s off to a dragon sleeper for a few minutes until Sampson fights up and hits a dropkick. There’s an airplane spin by the midget and a low bulldog for no cover. There’s the “Inch Worm”….but Shongo rolls to the floor before it can hit. Shongo tries to throw some powder but it goes back in his own (painted white) face. Sampson finally finishes with a top rope splash.

Rating: D. It was stupid, it wasn’t interesting, it wasn’t a good match. Let’s get away from this so we can get on to the main event with people we might have heard of outside of Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling. Yeah you might remember Sampson from that so terrible it was great show.

We get another clip of the Nash/Morton contract signing with Nash hitting Morton with a chair. Apparently Nash’s partner was going to be someone named Marvin Ward but the Rock N Roll Express beat him up. This brought out the Midnight Express to beat up Ward as well. Diamond Dallas Page came out for the real save. This of course does not mean that Page is the mystery partner. Neither does Page being on the poster of the PPV along with Nash and the Express.

The RNRE, looking to be about 9000 years old each, say they’ll beat up Nash and his partner.

Nash says he doesn’t know why Morton hates him and says he doesn’t have anything to talk about. This goes on for awhile with mentions of Old Yeller. Ok then.

Rock and Roll Express vs. Kevin Nash/Diamond Dallas Page

Yeah to the shock of no one it’s Page. He’s in a t-shirt and jeans but at least he’s a big name to have in there. No mention is made of Page and Nash being former world tag team champions here. We start with Page and Gibson as Larry says Nash and Page never tagged together. Eh no one remembers 2001 WCW anyway.

Off to Nash before much happens but here’s Marvin Ward. Apparently he isn’t a wrestler but rather the AWE boss. This is now a one on one match so Gibson and Page are thrown out. Uh…..ok then? Oh and it’s now No DQ. So can’t Page and Gibson stay now? One more thing: Ronnie Garvin is guest referee, somehow looking younger than he did when he was world champion.

Nash pounds on Ricky to start and uses all of his power stuff. There goes the buckle pad and Morton takes Snake Eyes to bust him open. It hits again and Ricky is busted open. Back in and Nash gets two before choking away a bit. Morton slugs away again and pounds Nash down to one knee as this is starting to get decent. Nash comes back with a chokeslam but grabs a mic instead.

He asks what Morton’s problem is so Ricky goes into a rant about how this business is his life. Guys like Ronnie Garvin raised him in this business. Morton talks about how Nash was a jerk who was in it only for the money. Nash says if that’s Morton’s problem, then they don’t have a problem. They shake hands….and there’s a Jackknife to Ricky. Kevin grabs the mic and says of course it’s all about the money. “Why else do you go to work?” He doesn’t care about the fans as long as they keep buying his dolls and t-shirts. Nash isn’t one of the people suffering from the economic downturn…and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: I. We’ll call this incomplete. The match was good while it lasted but most of the match was spent talking about why they like the business. Other than that was only some decent stuff in the middle which was forgettable at best. This was the match that was set up for the entire show and what we got was good. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of it that could be good.

Overall Rating: F+. This show is indeed terrible, but it’s certainly not Heroes of Wrestling bad. While that show was completely abysmal with the stupid skits and no idea of how to run a show, this at least had a few watchable matches. Dutt vs. Olivencia was some pretty decent stuff and is perfectly fine all things considered. It’s definitely not a good show or even a passable show, but there are FAR worse shows out there. This is much more forgettable than terrible which makes it less entertaining. It’s not worth seeing or anything and this isn’t going to be remembered in any distant time in the future.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Souled Out 2000
Date: January 16, 2000
Location: Firstar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Attendance: 14,132
Commentators: Tony Schivone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

The company is completely dead at this point and I think everyone not named WCW knew that. 1999 was absolutely brutal on them as they kept screwing up time after time after time and this is a great example of that. The main event changed about 5 times until it got to what we saw. First off it was Bret vs. Goldberg II but Goldberg punched the window of a limousine and messed up his hand so he was out for months.

Then it was Bret vs. Sid but since Bret had his head knocked silly by Goldberg at Starrcade and was out for about 10 years because of it they had to vacate the title. Then they were with Sid vs. Jeff Jarrett, the US Champion, as the next best thing. Well someone thought it was a good idea to have Jarrett fight three old guys on Nitro and he got a concussion too so now HE can’t be in it.

Finally they picked the #1 contender to the US Title, Chris Benoit, and put him against Sid for the world title. So in other words we have the #2 contender for the world title vs. the #1 contender for the US Title. Instead of the 2/3 falls (Triple Threat Theater as it was called here. It’s three gimmick matches) that Jarrett and Benoit were supposed to have, it’s now Billy Kidman vs. three of Benoit’s kind of stable mates in individual matches. This was a very confusing show as I’m sure you can see. Let’s get to it.

Oh and also, this is the show that got Russo fired. His original plans once he heard about all the insanity: put the title on Tank Abbot, the UFC fighter. Yeah….Russo was a bit nuts.

The announcers talk about the injuries and how more or less everyone is out. We see some clips of the injuries. It’s not a good sign when you need about four minutes of talking to explain why the majority of the card is changed tonight. We get a clip of Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko (parts of Benoit’s Revolution stable. It was Benoit/Malenko/Saturn/Douglas and a mystery guy who is revealed tonight) beating up Konnan to make the Triple Threat Theater thing happen instead of a six man tag.

We hear about Nash vs. Funk. If Nash wins he’s Commissioner and if Funk wins the NWO has to disband. Let me repeat that. The NWO existed in the year 2000.

The singles match between David Flair and Vampiro that changed into a tag title match with the champions David Flair/Crowbar vs. Vampiro/mystery man. However during the preshow, Crowbar jumped Vampiro so instead Vampiro is like screw it, I want a triple threat match instead of a title match. Uh, sure Vampy.

They run down the rest of the card and there are I think two matches without stipulations or consequences one way or another. Wow.

Ok so after six and a half minutes of explaining the show, we go to the ring. This is sad.

Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko

Kidman is one of the Filthy Animals and Malenko is part of the Revolution which was supposed to be a youth movement stable but it was changed into a military thing or something. This is under catch-as-catch-can which means a regular match but you can’t leave the ring.

Dean takes it to the floor quickly and the fans are loudly booing. We hear about what Kidman has to do tonight and I wonder why Douglas isn’t fighting for the Revolution tonight. LOUD booing now as Malenko keeps backing up. I have no idea if the fans know the rules here or not. Big crowd tonight too at over 14,000.

Kidman hammers away and Dean rolls to the floor, ending the match. Dean starts getting back in and I think he messed up here. This is exactly what this show didn’t need at all. Way too short to grade as it might have been two minutes long but the fans cheer for Kidman winning so uh….good? This was Dean’s last WCW match as he would debut as part of the Radicalz in 15 days.

We recap Vampiro vs. Crowbar/David Flair. Vampiro beat Crowbar on Thunder…..and that’s it. Literally the clip just stops there. Can this show do ANYTHING right?

Ah here’s the actual video package and the editing is awful. They cut to something else literally every three seconds. Daphne had been chilling with David Flair who was insane. She jumped Vamprio and his crew and then they met Crowbar at a gas station. Flair and Crowbar won the vacant tag titles because Arn Anderson helped them so Flair (Ric isn’t here so every Flair means David) hit Arn with the crowbar (object, not person). The NWO wants to kill David for costing them the titles and Vampiro’s crew wants to kill them for general purposes. Yeah it made little sense.

Vampiro says he can win this on his own and Masahiro Chono of all people pops up to yell in Japanese. I guess he was going to be the partner.

Flair, Crowbar and Daffney say they’re going to break Vampiro’s bones and rip his flesh.

David Flair vs. Vampiro vs. Crowbar

Vampiro beats them both up with relative ease. I mean they’ve got nothing. Suicide dive to the floor takes out Crowbar and he gets cheered loudly. David throws really bad chops. Flair yells at Crowbar as I think we’re in a comedy squash here. Yes, the tag team champions are being destroyed here. Baseball slide takes the champions out as the champions have had no offense. This is a triple threat remember. Why it’s not a handicap match is beyond me.

Crowbar FINALLY gets something going with a sommersault plancha to hit both guys. Frog splash off the apron to Vampiro and Crowbar is hurt again. German suplex by Crowbar sets up a slingshot legdrop for two. Crowd is very hot here. David is just kind of watching which is good for the fans as David absolutely sucked. Vampiro gets a superplex for two. The split screen is even bad as there’s a big logo and the name of the show everywhere so you can’t see anything on the screens.

Flair is actually doing stuff now and it’s just bad. A vertical suplex is an accomplishment for him. Vampiro tries to counter a powerbomb into an X Factor and it’s completely botched, leading to a “You F’D up chant”. Rock Bottom by Vampiro gets two as Flair saves. Daffney is looking good here. Crowbar gets a splash and Flair puts on a weak figure four. Daffney comes in for no apparent reason and the champions fight. Flair is sent into Daffney and the Nail in the Coffin (Michinoku Driver) ends Flair. Big old pop for that.

Rating: D. This was awful as you would expect. David Flair was absolutely terrible but he was on TV for the reason of whose testicles he came from. Anyway, this was terrible but the high spots helped a bit and Daffney looking good is never a bad thing. They would lose the titles in a week or so.

Buff Bagwell is here.

The Mamalukes, the Mafia group that sucked completely, say they can beat the Harris Brothers.

Mamalukes vs. Harris Boys

Disco Inferno is with the Italians here. Johnny the Bull starts with let’s say Ron (The Harris Boys are identical twins. The other is Don) and Johnny (his partner is Big Vito) is in trouble early. The Italians clean the ring and I think they’re the faces, but does it really matter? Off to Vito now who takes Ron down with ease. Big kick as Disco doesn’t want to be here but is being forced by some Mafia dude.

All Italians so far. Bull comes in and some heel cheating lets them take over. Side slam by Ron and it’s off to Don. Off to a chinlock for a second as Johnny gets a clothesline. Never mind on the comeback apparently as it’s back off to Don’s control. The problem here is that the Harris Brothers use regular offense instead of big power man offense. The crowd is almost completely dead here.

Vito comes in off a blind tag but is forced back out. I’m trying to like this show, I truly am. It’s just not happening. Vito wants Disco to get involved which isn’t happening at all. Ron is in the wrong corner for some reason. The Harris guys can’t do a thing and it’s obvious. Vito comes in and everything breaks down. Disco finally does something as he tries to cost the Italians the match but instead it gives them the win as he shoves Vito into a flying clothesline on Ron for the pin. What a mess.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t incredibly long. The Harris guys are boring as this biker thing never went anywhere but with their size they obviously had a job almost guaranteed. The Disco vs. the Mafia thing was terrible and just kind of ended with no resolution but it’s not like it mattered. Mafia gimmicks go nowhere and this was no exception.

Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Oklahoma

Oklahoma is the parody character of JR played by Ed Ferrara. He weighs about 300lbs and is trying to win the Cruiserweight Title tonight from Madusa, the female champion. He runs his mouth against women and against Ohio in general. Oh and he has the belt itself. Madusa has some Nitro Girl with her.

Madusa knows martial arts and a German suplex. Oklahoma isn’t a wrestler but throws her by the hair a bit. Madusa gets a pair of “dropkicks” off the middle rope but gets caught in a DDT. He goes for his bottle of barbecue sauce (yes just go with it) but the Nitro Girl (Spice) and the Chyna ripoff named Asya stop him. He pulls the loincloth she’s wearing over her bikini bottom and pins her to win the title. I give up. Too short to rate again, thank goodness. The girls pour barbecue sauce down his tights.

Brian Knobbs, the Hardcore Champion, says Fit Finlay deserves the credit for his title win.

Brian Knobbs vs. Meng vs. Norman Smiley vs. Fit Finlay

This is called Four the Hard Way but it’s really just a fatal fourway. This is during the Smiley is scared of hardcore matches period. Knobbs and Finlay are dressed alike as the idea here is that Finlay trained him to be a hardcore guy. Yes, Brian Knobbs is a champion in the year 2000. Smiley tries a trashcan shot to Meng’s head which fails miserably.

It’s one of those hardcore matches that you’ve seen a few million times in WCW as it’s not incredibly interesting but they’re kind of entertaining for the sake of being what they are. Everyone beats up Norman and nothing hurts Meng, namely due to that big thing of hair. Here’s a table and some bad chair shots. Finlay and Smiley go into the crowd which lasts about four seconds. This is one of those matches that needs to end. Knobbs is out mostly so Smiley goes near him. Smiley gets hit with his own riot shield and this is finally over.

Rating: D-. I mean dude, what do you want me to say here? It’s a hardcore match. Like I said, if you’ve seen one of these you’ve seen a million of them since there isn’t anything different about any of them for the most part. The title never died of course as WCW kept this joke up for another YEAR. They never learned at all.

Billy Kidman vs. Perry Saturn

This is a Bunkhouse match, meaning hardcore. At least Kidman’s music is kind of catchy. Saturn is freaking stacked as far as muscles go. Perry stomps away to start and gets a clothesline to take Kidman down. Big press slam as this is a regular match so far. Kidman fights back with speed and punches in the corner. Clothesline gets two. He tries a running headlock takeover out of the corner but gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor. That gets two on the floor.

Back in the ring and Saturn does something to Kidman’s neck but gets rolled up for two. This is painfully boring. Springboard legdrop gets two for Saturn. Kidman’s shirt is ripped off and we FINALLY get to a weapon, in this case, a table which is laid face down on the floor instead of being set up in the ring. Ah there it is. Heenan: “Tony we could make a fortune in a table company.” Mike: “Heenan if you’re involved the only thing it’ll be is under the table.” That was good. Where is this funny Mike every other show?

The table is on the floor but Saturn can’t suplex onto him. Saturn gets an elbow from the top rope for no cover so Kidman grabs a sunset flip for two. Diving powerbomb gets two as does a Sky High from Kidman. Saturn throws Kidman over the top and through the table which gets two. It looked great if nothing else. Saturn tries a powerbomb from the top but gets backdropped instead. Out of NOWHERE Saturn tries another powerbomb (does he get paid per powerbomb?) but gets dropped in a facejam for the pin. This was Saturn’s last match in WCW.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to feel bad for giving these matches such low grades. They’re not really that terrible but they’re just so painfully uninteresting. I’m flying through this show and I’ve yet to see anything worth watching in it. Every one of the six matches so far range from just kind of there to completely uninteresting. There were some cool spots here and I like Saturn so I guess you could call this the match of the night so far….somehow.

Stevie Ray talks to some homeless people. Uh…ok? He talks about Booker T and says that he’s the one from the streets, not Booker. The homeless people like him apparently. Stevie goes to a barber shop where the barber wants to know why Booker never comes around anymore. I’d assume Stevie can’t read the street signs to get there anymore but that’s just me.

Stevie, in the arena now, says he’ll teach Booker a lesson.

Booker T vs. Stevie Ray

Booker is in suspenders and has this overly large woman with him named Midnight. Booker sends Midnight to the back before the bell. So the point of his quick thing about how she watches his back now was…? Booker hammers away and gets the side kick to take Stevie down. The referee is on the apron for some reason. Spinning forearm gets two for Booker but he runs into an elbow and then a clothesline to send him to the floor.

Stevie’s offense more or less fails completely and it’s off to Booker again. Back in we go and Booker hammers away. Booker runs into a powerslam and we hit the chinlock by Stevie. Elbow drop gets two on Booker. Stevie tries a backdrop and we cut away to the fans for no apparent reason. Why in the world would you do that?

Stevie’s finisher, the Slap Jack (elevated Pedigree) is countered and Booker fires off some kicks. There’s the axe kick and it’s not quite Spinarooni time. He tries the twisting sunset flip out of the corner but botches it a bit. Book End puts Stevie down but Ahmed Freaking Johnson wobbles in (muscular as all get out but with a gut the size of Cleveland) to beat up Booker for the DQ. Pearl River Plunge kills Booker and Midnight comes out to do nothing of note. His name is Big T and this is the new Harlem Heat apparently.

Rating: D. Oh dear this was bad again. Booker did what he could but he was no miracle worker. Stevie was never anything good or even passable so of course he kept getting more and more TV time and more and more pushes. Johnson was gone rather soon and no one cared.

Sid said he’s awesome and Benoit is his friend but he’ll win the title tonight despite what the NWO wants.

Tank Abbot vs. Jerry Flynn

Not Lynn, but Flynn, a karate guy. Abbot is a former UFC Champion and this is an alleged shoot fight. They trade some submission stuff for about 90 seconds and then it ends. You figure out what happens after about 1:40 when an amateur karate guy meets a legit pro fighter in a shoot fight.

We recap DDP vs. Buff Bagwell. Allegedly Buff was sleeping with Page’s wife so Page made gay jokes. Buff says if not for Page he’d date Kimberly. They trade jokes and Buff implied Kimberly slept with everyone in the locker room.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Buff Bagwell

This is last man standing. Buff is the face here…I think. They slug it out with Buff taking over early as we head outside. They’re in the crowd already and fight in the tarped off seats. Nice job of hiding things there guys. Back to ringside now with Page hammering away and calling spots VERY loudly. Neckbreaker gets no count but Bagwell’s gets….no count either.

They head out to the floor as this isn’t much at all here. Up the aisle we go and both guys are rammed into the railing. Stereo punches put both guys down and we head to the WCW.com location. They slam the monitors against each other and Tony laughs for some reason. DDP is put on the WCW.com table and Bagwell drops an elbow through him. The referee doesn’t count at all which makes me think the rules in this are different somehow.

Back in the ring and Bagwell gets a low blow to take over. Uh I mean continue his advantage. This is getting annoying quickly. Page no sells everything for the most part and crotches him against the post. Both guys go down as it’s kind of hard to tell who the fans like here. They’re both up at 8 and they’re down again maybe 2 seconds later.

Back up at eight and Buff hammers away. DDT hits and both guys lay down after it. The fans are counting with them which is kind of cool for some reason. Buff calls for the Blockbuster and hits most of it. Page is up at nine and Bagwell has a riot baton or something like that. Diamond Cutter out of nowhere but Bagwell gets up first and wins it. Huh?

Rating: D+. Weird ending here as they claimed Buff blocked part of the move but it was pretty clear he didn’t at all. Not a terrible match but it didn’t feel like it needed the gimmick at all. The crowd was weird on this one too and it’s pretty easy to see why. Not bad but nothing good for the most part.

Kimberly comes down post match and looks all sad. Page beats Buff down and leaves with her while she still looks all sad.

Buff lost a boot in there somehow. Ok then.

Billy Kidman vs. ???

This is in a cage called Caged Heat, which means Hell in a Cell. Shane Douglas of the Revolution comes out to talk about how awesome the Revolution is and introduces the mystery guy. And it’s the Wall, a guy that has nothing to do with the Revolution until tonight. This is when Wall was still a total destroyer. Kidman finds a chair under the ring and cracks him with a chair to start.

So let me make sure I have this straight. A guy is thrown into the card to face a guy that joined a stable he was feuding with and I think a one day notice and is in the Cell with him. Got it. Standard small man vs. monster here with Wall taking him down with a big boot. Kidman is rammed back first into the cage and it’s all big man. Kidman gets a sunset bomb off the middle rope for two. He goes up, jumps into a chokeslam and we’re done. Five minute match in the Cell. I give up.

Rating: F. Not only was it a bad match, it was a bad match in the Hell in a Cell cage! I mean people, why in the world would you use that? If you’re going to change one match, change the rest too. Why is that so hard? Terrible match and a terrible ending to this three match system thing.

We recap Nash vs. Funk which is more or less NWO vs. Funk. Yes, Funk was arguably the top face at this point. They’re fighting for power here.

Terry Funk vs. Kevin Nash

The winner is the Commissioner, which Funk is at this point. If Nash loses then the NWO disbands. Funk’s music sounds like Demolition’s for a few seconds. The brawl starts in the aisle as this is a hardcore match. Chair to the back of Funk as it’s all Nash to start us off. There’s a Jackknife through the table less than two minutes in. You would think that would end it, but Nash wants to talk.

He says that if Funk can crawl back into the ring, Funk can still be Commissioner. Funk gets in and Nash says that he’s a lying SOB so the fight goes on. We only have Tony on commentary. Funk is busted open so we go to a wide shot. He gets a chair and cracks Nash a few times with it and adds a DDT for two. The people are booing the heck out of Funk here. But hey, he was a world champion 23 years ago! And some of the fans were alive then so he must be worthy of giving a big push to!

Nash cracks him in the head multiple times with the chair and Funk no sells them to beat on Nash even more. Funk sets up multiple chairs for absolutely no apparent reason. And of course he gets powerbombed through them and Nash becomes Commissioner as the man in his late 50s is probably crippled. Don’t you love WCW?

Rating: D. This was short and had a lot of Funk either no selling or not moving. The fans flat out didn’t buy Funk as the big face he was supposed to be but WCW kept going with it anyway because they had decided that they knew what the fans wanted to see instead of what the fans told them they wanted to see.

Arn Anderson doesn’t like that Nash has the Commissioner spot now. However he doesn’t have power until Midnight so the world title match has nothing to do with Nash. Anderson stumbles over his words so you can tell he’s either messed up or bored. This is still talking about the NWO vs. WCW. Are you kidding me? Arn is the referee for the main event which made sense in storyline for Bret vs. Goldberg but not here.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Chris Benoit

Sid beat Benoit for the US Title at Fall Brawl in a joke of a match that we need to get to later. Sid is pushed as the face here because Benoit was part of the Revolution, a heel group, even though he’s the more popular guy here. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Buffer calling Bischoff the #2 ranked contender in the world makes him sound a bit weak.

Now Arn gives instructions. Get on with it already. They feel each other to start and that’s more or less a stalemate. Some guys like Saturn and David Flair come out to watch. Sid sends him to the floor as more and more come out. The fans chant for Sid so he press slams Benoit with ease. Benoit goes to the knee and the fans cheer. Not sure who they’re behind here but I think it’s Sid more than Benoit for the most part.

Benoit dropkicks the steps into the knee into the post and then does it again. Back in the ring and Benoit puts on a kind of bad figure four. Sid taps his hand (which is funny as he tapped the mat to get the fans behind him in the Fall Brawl match which had to be ignored for the sake of the ending) to try to get some momentum going here and he powers out of it.

Sid is on his knees in the middle of the ring and Benoit adds a dropkick to the head. We hear the bull about the belt being around since 1905 as Benoit hits a dragon screw leg whip for two. Benoit throws on a bridging Indian Deathlock with a chinlock (Benoit is in what looks like a Matrix Move and Sid is on his stomach and Benoit pulls up on his chin. Looks awesome) and kicks Sid to the floor.

Sid Sids Up but a dropkick to the knee takes him right back down. Rolling Germans as I can feel the hackers breaking into Angle’s Twitter even though Twitter didn’t exist yet. Sid takes him down with a powerslam for two but gets caught in an ankle hook. Another German and the sign for the Swan Dive gets a BIG pop so Sid launches Benoit off to make the finishers look weak.

Chokeslam out of nowhere puts Benoit down but Sid is too weakened to do anything now. Benoit’s foot is under the ropes so that only gets two for Sid. Remember that as it becomes important later. Benoit puts the Crossface on and Sid taps to give Benoit the champion. Sid’s foot was under the rope which would become important later.

Rating: B-. This was by far the match of the night but Sid’s eternally questionable selling comes into play again here. A good thing though was that he tapped immediately, but the channeling of his inner big bald Irish dude with orange skin got old. Anyway, Benoit wins the title finally, albeit as a heel and as the fourth or fifth option but who cares?

Benoit thanks Sid for having a hard fight and talks about the Dynamite Kid and how people criticized him forever but tonight he’s proven them wrong. Arn says Benoit is awesome. Nash pops up to say he’s going to make Benoit’s life a living nightmare because that’s the NWO’s belt. Benoit says bring it on.

And of course none of this matters because Benoit stuck to his principles and left WCW, knowing that this was just an appeasement because he was walking no matter what. The title would be fought over by Sid and Nash while Benoit would debut in WCW and win the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania 16 before 4 years (and one year off for neck surgery) later, winning the world title in the main event of Wrestlemania while Nash is just kind of hanging around. Anyway, this is the famed Benoit WCW Title win and that’s about all of his reign.

Overall Rating: D. It’s 2000 WCW. Why would you expect a good show here? This is a show that actually benefits from the lack of context which is a weird thing to say. It took me awhile to sit through this because the matches weren’t that interesting and the feuds were rather idiotic indeed. Not much was going on at this show, namely because everything got all switched up because of injuries. Bad show overall but the main event isn’t terrible and the historical aspects of this show are really big, given what happened two weeks later. Avoid it of course though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Starrcade 2000
Date: December 17, 2000
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 6,596
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson

 

It’s time for another of my thing of doing a string of shows in a row, in this case the final three WCW shows that I haven’t done at the end of their run: Starrcade 2000, Sin and Superbrawl Revenge. Anyway, the company is dead and buried with the WWF on the highest of highs and everyone knows it, even WCW. The main event this year is Sid vs. Scott Steiner. And this is supposed to be Wrestlemania to them. Right. Let’s get to it.

 

The opening video sets up the PPV and the feuds all have at least one old person in it.

 

Tony doesn’t care at all and you can tell it clearly.

 

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons vs. Knoble/Karagis

 

These six guys feuded FOREVER, opening Thunder literally about 35 times out of a year. This is a triple threat tag team ladder match, but the person that pulls down the contract gets a single Cruiserweight Title match against Chavo (absolutely awesome at this point) later on. This is on the Best of Starrcade DVD (awesome set for the most part). Knoble and Karagis were members of the Dragons and 3 Count respectively before they broke off to have a three way feud.

 

3 Count is Shane Helms and Shannon Moore, the Dragons are Kaz Hayashi (you probably don’t remember him) and Jimmy Yang (called Yang here) and Knoble/Karagis are Jamie Knoble and Evan Karagis (you probably shouldn’t remember him either). Shannon and Kaz start us off. They’re actually making them tag here in a ladder match. I give up. Things speed up and Shannon tries to get a ladder which fails due to Evan.

 

They finally go after the ladders with 3 Count staying behind and getting one in the ring on their own first. Smart idea if I do type so myself. The Dragons run in for the save as we see the issue here: since one person can win, neither can run interference. As you would expect they drop the tagging almost immediately and the big war starts. I’m not even going to try to call the stuff here as it’s moving way too fast.

 

The title shot is tomorrow apparently. Karagis goes up but his partner makes the save. Yang drills them both and sets a ladder in the corner. Shannon takes a corkscrew moonsault off the second rope from Yang. Kaz takes Shane out as we hit the everyone hits a bunch of big dives and one guy (Knoble) is smart enough to just go up the ladder. Yang gets up and shoves the ladder over.

 

Tony actually tries to explain the slow climbs once you get to the top, in this case because you lose your balance at the top. Makes sense actually. They set a latter in the middle of the ring and put another one in between the rungs and make it a platform between the ladder in the ring and the middle rope. A bunch of people go up and come down, culminating with Helms getting a neckbreaker on Knoble.

 

There’s now a pair of ladders in the ring and the race is on. Yang, 3 Count and Knoble all go up so Shane gets a sunset bomb to Knoble, leaving Yang and Shannon up there. And there they go as well. Knoble goes up but the Dragon’s dominatrix manager Leia Meow makes the save. A third ladder comes in and make that a fourth as there’s one on the mat.

 

The Dragons take over and they use the four ladders to make a pretty solid scaffold. 3 Count takes them down and Kaz is sent flying into the ladder used as the bridge in the scaffold. 3 Count goes up but Knoble and Karagis makes the save. Knoble and Kaz go up to the bridge but Evan knocks Kaz off. Now it’s Yang vs. Helms on the bridge but Shannon does something similar to skinning the cat to pop up there and get Yang down. Knoble gets tossed and 3 Count grabs the contract at the same time so it would be a triple threat the next night.

 

Rating: A-. Awesome match here. It’s not as good as the TLC matches but then again the talent here wasn’t as solid. However this is well worth seeing and I’d bet it’s the match of the year for WCW already. Here’s where you can tell the difference between WCW and WWF though. This is about 3 and a half months before TLC 2 at Mania X7. That’s the match where Edge hit the spear on Jeff Hardy.

 

Later that year, Edge was the King of the Ring and got the Intercontinental Title where he feuded with Christian. Jeff got it even earlier, winning it in May. In other words, half of the six guys in that match won a singles midcard title within 8 months of that match. I think Matt got the European Title in there somewhere also. In other words, they put their bodies on the line (this is being written the day after Edge announced his retirement so in his case it’s almost literally) and gave us a great match. And for that, they were rewarded.

 

Do you think any of these guys did anything but mess around in the Cruiserweight division until WCW died? Of course that’s all they did. And why shouldn’t they? All they’re doing is having the best matches of the night every show and getting the crowd into them. But they’re not stars, so they can’t be anywhere near a push because then the fans might get entertained by them, and WCW could NEVER let that happen, and that’s why WCW isn’t around today.

 

Lance Storm comes up to the reluctant Canadian Jim Duggan (just go with it). Basically Duggan was going to get fired unless he joined Team Canada so they turned him heel but he missed America and couldn’t rejoin it or something.

 

Jeff Jarrett talks to Mike Sanders and doesn’t want a street fight. He wants a bunkhouse match. They agree to have both. They’re the same thing anyway so who cares.

 

Kronik agrees to do something for payment afterwards which is against their policy. They’re in a steam bath and towels for no apparent reason.

 

Lance Storm vs. The Cat

 

Cat kept getting pushes and I have no idea why. He has Ms. Jones with him who is rather attractive and Storm has Major Gunns who is rather appealing. Storm runs down America, blasting them for taking over a month to get through the elections and pointing out that the man with more votes didn’t win. Yep that’s the logic here in America. Never got that but who cares about logic right?

 

Cat wants his music for some dancing. After a few seconds it starts as we’re told that Cat cost Storm the US Title at Mayhem. We get a USA chant from the patriotic/xenophobic crowd. Storm hits the floor to try to kill them off a bit as we wonder where Hacksaw is. They shove each other a lot to start and Cat gyrates a bit. They fight over a wristlock and Cat fires off some kicks.

 

Gunns distracts Cat and Storm gets a shot in. Catfight is teased but the guys break it up. The girls get in the ring and the men break it up again to a chorus of booing. Storm hammers away with very basic offense. He sets for a suplex but gets reversed when he talks too much. Off to a chinlock as this has been rather boring so far. Cat fires back with nothing but strikes because it’s all he knows how to do.

 

Prime Time Elix Skipper drills Cat to take over so Cat beats him up in return. This is rather dull. Storm sends him into the railing so Ms. Jones tries to kick him. Storm ducks and the referee gets his head kicked off in a SICK shot. Dropkick to the back of Jones by Gunns as everyone is down. Storm gets his gorgeous springboard missile dropkick but the referee is delayed. Big kick by Cat gets two as does a Northern Lights suplex from Storm. Here’s Duggan to a big face reaction. He gives Cat a terribly weak shot (intentional) to the back and Storm gets his half crab to win. Whatever.

 

Rating: D. This was terribly boring. I never got the appeal of this feud at all and I don’t think anyone else did either. Cat was terribly boring the entire time that he got a midcard push but that never stopped him anyway. Weak match, bad ending, but you had two hot women….who never fought. Brilliant guys.

 

Team Canada beats Duggan down post match and Cat makes the save. He’s taking this “you hit me and cost me the match 30 seconds ago” quite well.

 

Mike Awesome gets here in an ambulance.

 

Buff Bagwell is the new interviewer and talks to the Filthy Animals. Apparently there won’t be a bunkhouse brawl and a street fight but rather one at the same time. They look like idiots and Konnan tries to sound cool. He fails.

 

Reno and Big Vito are coming to the ring when the Natural Born Thrillers say Reno can come back anytime.

 

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Terry Funk

 

Crowbar is champion and loves the 70s here. Oh dear. Isn’t there already a 70s guy named Mike Awesome? They fight in the back to start as Funk jumps him. A shot into a truck gets two. Funk has been gone for months and everyone is shocked that he appears and has a title shot. I love jokes like that which poke fun at the company without meaning to. All Funk so far as Daffney screams a lot.

 

Crowbar gets a shot in with something that was apparently the grill of a car for two. They’re in the back of a big truck here. Crowbar hammers away to knock him out of the truck but can’t do it. Funk gets a hip toss to send him through a table and Funk chases Daffney away. Low blow puts Funk down and he keeps getting up. Yes, we get it: he can get hit and keep standing up.

 

A door gets slammed on Funk’s head and it’s handcuff time. Another low blow gets Funk out of it and he slams the same door on Crowbar’s head. You can see the video screen over their shoulders which is a weird visual since it’s backwards. Crowbar gets handcuffed and Funk hammers him with a chair. Hmm where have I see this before? They fight into the arena with a car door, although Crowbar is still handcuffed.

 

More chair shots follow and Funk sets up a table at ringside. Funk sets for an Asai Moonsault but Daffney pulls Crowbar off the table. Crowbar manages a chair shot despite being handcuffed which is somewhat impressive. He chokes Funk with the cuffs and gets a pescado through Funk through the table. Since Funk gets up first, Daffney hits Funk with a chair for two. Funk gets some more chair shots and a Piledriver onto the door for the title.

 

Rating: D. Yes, Terry Funk, a mere 56 years old here, is a champion in WCW. This is what they thought was the best move for WCW which blows my mind again and again. Honestly, who thought Terry Funk was a good draw at this point? Isn’t that what a champion is supposed to be? This company never got it and never would, which is why they died.

 

Team Canada blasts Duggan and Gunns messes up her one line. Gene says she can fly that Canadian flag on another pole.

 

Lex Luger, a top heel at this point, is getting ready for Goldberg.

 

Big Vito/Reno vs. Kronik

 

Well we get the very hot Marie here. Kronik is taking pay from someone to take the Italians out. Kronik was the APA ripoff that never went anywhere because everyone knew it was an APA ripoff. They imply Marie is the one paying them and she says it’s not her as the brawl starts. The Italians do their usual stuff which gets them beaten down even more. Clark vs. Vito at the moment with Clark in control.

 

Vito gets a “Mafia Kick” to take Clark down. That’s an insult to Chono. Adams wants the money from Marie now and Vito beats him up for it. When I say beats up I mean glares at Adams while Clark gets up so he can hit a flip at him. Marie still has no idea what Adams is talking about. This is a mess. Reno tries to make a save but gets stopped so it’s Adams vs. Vito at the moment.

 

Clothesline gets two for Vito but won’t tag. Note that Reno hasn’t been in yet and I think we all know what that means. Reno makes a save and I have a feeling that’s all he’s going to do during this match. Clark gets a belly to back and hits the chinlock. The Natural Born Thrillers, led by Commissioner Mike Sanders, come out to watch. Vito tries to fight both of them off and that fails as much as his future crossdressing gimmick.

 

He and Clark collide in a double crossbody and it’s finally the tag to Reno. Say it with me: Reno turns on Vito, hitting Roll the Dice (Cross Rhodes) to end it. Oh and Reno pins Vito for no apparent reason and Reno reveals himself as the financial backer before rejoining the Thrillers. Kronik beats Vito down post match.

 

Rating: D+. And most of that is for Marie looking good. This was a boring match with a boring and predictable feud. The Italians never went anywhere but they kept doing it anyway because they had no other ideas and the theory of cutting people was totally foreign to them so this is what you get.

 

3 Count says they’re the #1 contenders and to be fair it was a tag match so technically they both won. Chavo beats them down, saying they didn’t work hard enough.

 

MIA says they’re not splitting up. Rection (Bill DeMott) says this is about the US Title, which he holds at the moment.

 

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Mike Awesome

 

This is an ambulance match. Awesome is also a 70s guy because two of the same gimmick in one company is fine. Thankfully he takes the 70s clothes off and has his regular gear on underneath. We get a Lawrence Taylor reference because we’ve gone over an hour without making a WWF reference. They stay in the ring for maybe 9 seconds and hit the floor. Weapons are used all over the place with Awesome in control.

 

Bigelow gets a cup of something and throws it at Awesome to take over. They fight up to the ambulance as this is pretty dull so far. It’s not a bad match but it’s nothing we haven’t seen a dozen times this year already. Awesome says he’s putting Bigelow in but gets the door slammed on him for his trouble. Window gets busted out by Bigelow missing a right hand.

 

They leave the ambulance place and head back towards the ring because they’re not that smart. The fans chant for Goldberg out of boredom. They fight to the announce table and it’s the same kind of brawl as you would expect here. It’s the same thing we’ve seen time and time again and it’s not interesting anymore. They put a table in front of the ring and Awesome, the guy that set it up, goes through it via a backdrop.

 

We head over to the ambulance again with Bigelow in firm control. You know I hadn’t realized it but both of the people in this are dead and one in the previous match was as well. That’s always rather disturbing. Bigelow rips the lights off the top of the ambulance and Awesome knocks him through the roof of the ambulance. And no one cares.

 

Rating: D. The match wasn’t terrible but at the same time Mike Awesome was a waste of talent here as he was thrown into matches with old guys for hardcore matches again and again and no one cared. Dude, he’s a freaking MONSTER and he’s doing this. And people wonder why WCW went out of business. And yes I know I’ve said that a lot but it’s so obvious that the company is screwing up left and right.

 

Reno says his family is the Thrillers. Sanders isn’t worried about the tag title match later. They say they have a gift for Gene later.

 

US Title: Shane Douglas vs. General Rection

 

Shane has been feuding with the MIA for no apparent reason. Rection is the champion here. Torrie, Shane’s valet, isn’t here tonight and Shane blames Rection. Shane jumps Rection and we’re off and jogging. They chop it out in the corner and we hear about the US Title being the #1 contender belt. I wonder how often that actually happened as I can remember only a handful of times.

 

Out to the floor with Rection badly missing kicks to the head but Shane selling them anyway. To the announce table for about the 5^th time tonight. We head back in and Shane pulls the ropes up to crotch the General and take over. Rection says HIT ME so Shane walks into a bearhug. Madden talks about the MIA (Misfits in Action) all leaving Rection at this point.

 

The fans chant boring and I can’t argue all that hard. Morrus’ answer? More bearhug. Shane breaks up an attempt at the moonsault and hits a swinging neckbreaker. We go to the floor after a Shane beatdown to see Morrus pick him up and ram him into….something and Shane is busted open. Allegedly the back of Shane’s head hit the post and it hit it so hard it busted open the wrong side of his head.

 

The moonsault misses again and Douglas pulls the chain out of his tights. You could call either the real thing or the joke a foreign object I guess. Morrus knocks it out of his hand and here’s former MIA member Chavo. Chavo gets the chain and throws it to Shane, then shows the referee that Shane has the weapon.

 

Rating: D. Again, THIS WAS DULL. That’s been the problem with the whole show other than the opener. None of these matches make me think this is the biggest show of the year. They make me think this is a glorified Nitro and that I want to get to the next match because it means we’re that much closer to the end of the show. Absolutely terrible so far and this was another boring and not very good match.

 

Big beatdown by Shane on both guys follows until the other two Misfits come out for the save. Each checks on one guy and it seems we have a split. Yeah I don’t care either.

 

Scott Steiner says he’s going to win and implies sex with multiple women.

 

Glacier is coming again and the announcers make fun of the whole idea.

 

The Insiders, DDP and Nash, have a title shot tonight and are with Bagwell here. They make fun of being old and that they make a ton of money.

 

Jeff Jarrett/Harris Brothers vs. Filthy Animals

 

The Animals are Kidman, Konnan and the unmasked Rey. This is a bunkhouse (meaning street fight) street fight. There are a bunch of weapons around the ring such as a popcorn machine, a bar (as in NORM!) and a shopping cart full of aluminum cans. At least we get Tygress gyrating. She’s on commentary here also. Naturally this is a total brawl with all kinds of weapons everywhere.

 

Rey and Kidman have a Harris in the ring and that’s done in seconds as that Harris goes into the popcorn maker. The Animals are in control here and the Bronco Buster goes all around. Well except for on Jarrett who gets his foot up and kicks Rey in the balls, much to Tygress’ sadness. Jarrett tries to superplex Kidman onto the bar but instead it’s something like a double spinebuster with Kidman and Rey putting Jarrett through the bar for two.

 

Double bulldog onto a Harris onto a sign onto a trashcan. Getting what we’re up against here? Rey gets a Boom Drop while sitting on a street sign off the middle rope. Apparently this feud started over Rey vs. Jarrett. Rey gets powerbombed into a dumpster via the master of Slapnuts. Everyone beats on Kidman and now, 8 minutes into the match, we start tagging. I give up.

 

Double big boot by the Harrisses mostly misses Kidman. Jarrett gets a sweet dropkick for no cover on Billy. Off to a sleeper now as Konnan checks to make sure that Rey is still alive. Kidman reverses as Tony talks about drinks, sandwiches and laxatives. It was a different time. There’s the balmy 70 degree tag to Konnan who beats up various people until he walks into the H Bomb.

 

This is the Nashville World Order. Just stop guys. Just stop. Table comes in as Madden wonders why there are so many tables under the ring which is a fair question. Rey gets out of the dumpster with a broom and the announcers talk about a clean sweep. Jarrett gets put on the table, only for Rey to dive over him and get dropped through it himself. Kidman fights Jarrett a bit and hits the Kid Crusher. He goes for the Shooting Star though and gets drilled with a beer bottle. Stroke ends him soon thereafter.

 

Rating: C-. This was better than you would think actually. They hammered on each other and until the stupid tagging part came in, this was a pretty fun brawl. The problem is that this was what….the fourth brawl out of six or seven matches? The overkill caught up with them here and it made the match that would have been good seem a bit weaker by comparison.

 

Sarge, the guy that trained Goldberg, says he wished he would fight Luger later. Luger jumps him and leaves him laying. Good for him as Sarge is said to be one of the biggest jerks in wrestling history, including saying that Batista had no future in wrestling and treating him like nothing.

 

The announcers talk about Goldberg’s second streak and how Luger can’t beat him on his own so he has to use stuff like this. Yes, make Goldberg madder. That’ll make the match easier no?

 

We recap the Insiders vs. the Thrillers. The idea is that the old guys beat them already at Mayhem but Sanders stripped them because he could.

 

Tag Titles: Insiders vs. Perfect Event

 

DDP/Nash vs. Stasiak/Palumbo if you’re luckily not familiar. Before the match, Flair, the boss with spiky hair here, says that if Sanders moves towards the ring then the Insiders get the titles. Flair making a token appearance at Starrcade is ok with me. Sanders yells at the commentators here and says something about cupcakes. We hear the “Page is 45, looks 35 and wrestles 25” line. Palumbo vs. Nash to start with Nash of course plowing through him.

 

Palumbo gets a clothesline to put him down but misses the elbow. Nash tags as I continue to wonder how Page fell so far in like a year. I think it was the haircut actually. Off to Stasiak who gets chopped not that hard. Stasiak’s balls get attached to the pole which is how they’re designed to be I think. Page gets a belly to belly for two. Diamond Cutter doesn’t work so he settles for a Rock Bottom (called a chokeslam which is close enough) for two. He sets for the Diamond Cutter again but has to turn around to look for Palumbo to break it up. Jungle (Super) kick puts Page down and the champions take over.

 

Chuck gets an overhead belly to belly and stops a Page comeback so he can send in Stasiak. Ok never mind as it’s back to Palumbo seconds later. DDP fights out of the corner and does the falling into Stasiak’s crotch spot ala Sting. If you didn’t get the idea the first time around, Page fights out of the corner again, this time with a discus lariat. Both guys go down again until we finally get the tag to Nash.

 

Nash cleans house and Pages takes a low blow. The double team move by the champions gets two and Stasiak takes a Cutter on the floor. Belt shot gets two for Palumbo and the other Thrillers get beaten down with relative ease by Page. Big boot and Jackknife to Palumbo give the Insiders the titles.

 

Rating: C-. Very standard tag match here which was fine although I do wonder why they did the title change the previous month in more or less the same match. Oh that’s right: it gives Nash and Page two title changes instead of one. The Diamond Cutter still gets a good reaction which is the sign of a good finisher. Anyway, basic match here and possibly the second best match of the night, which is a bad sign.

 

We recap Goldberg vs. Luger. The idea is that Goldberg has to get to 177-0, breaking his old streak, to get another world title shot. Luger beat up Goldberg’s trainer to set this up.

 

Lex Luger vs. Goldberg

 

This is a rematch from Mayhem. Goldberg is on a 30 match winning streak here. Luger just fell apart after about 1998. Goldberg jumps him before the bell rings and we’re on the floor early. Luger tries to run go Bill beats on him even more in the aisle. This is a total domination. Luger finally shoves him into the post to break the momentum a bit. This is no holds barred apparently, meaning we have ANOTHER no DQ match.

 

Bagwell and Sarge come out and you can smell the SHOCKING yes SHOCKING I SAY heel turn coming a mile away. Also a little over 11 years ago in the past but maybe that’s implied. Goldberg gets a big shoulder and sets for the spear. Luger pulls the referee in front like last month but Goldberg pulls up in time. Sarge goes down and Luger gets a shot with brass knuckles for two. Bagwell sets for a Blockbuster which he of course hits Goldberg with, continuing his bromance with Luger. Buff drills Sarge on the floor as the Rack gets blocked. Spear and Jackhammer end Luger.

 

Rating: D+. Big brawl here which again, WE SAW IT EARLIER. The heel turn went nowhere of course other than setting up the tag match next month where Goldberg lost, never to be seen in WCW again. It’s another stupid turn for the sake of a stupid turn but that’s WCW for you. Not much of a match but it could have been worse.

 

Buff pops Goldberg with a chair and leaves with Luger. Yes, a chair from Buff Bagwell put Goldberg down. I’m done.

 

Goldberg picks up some fan that said he wanted to meet Goldberg. That’s always cool to see.

 

We recap Sid vs. Steiner. Sid was the big surprising return and no one, I mean no one, cared.

 

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Scott Steiner

 

We hear about various title matches at Starrcade. None of them are anywhere nearly as weak as this one……not even…..hang on a second…….not even Flair vs…….bear with me here……Flair vs. Garvin. Man that was hard to write. Midajah is gorgeous other than her face. Sid is in long tights which I never remember seeing him in. Steiner chops away so Sid pounds him down.

 

This is going to be one of those matches where they have to shoot each other to get the other to sell right? Steiner wants a test of strength and Steiner dominates it with ease. Sid breaks it up and gets a leg drop for two. They head to the floor and Midajah hits him with the pipe. Chair to the side of the head as I’m assuming this is no DQ also.

 

Back in the ring and Scott dominates. The horribly weak looking chinlock goes on but Sid reaches him arm over maybe a good 8 inches to get the rope for the break. It goes back on in the middle of the ring but Sid just stands up. Midajah hits a cross body to Steiner by mistake and Sid adds a chokeslam for two.

 

Cobra clutch by Sid but Steiner pops the referee. Pipe to the back of Sid as this is breaking down by the second. Another referee is here and it gets two. Jarrett comes down as apparently this is our big surprise for the show. The guitar shot hits Scott though for two as Jeff pulls the referee out. In a cool sight, Jarrett swings at thto e referee but Robinson (referee) ducks, slides in, and counts two again. Powerbomb is blocked by a low blow and a few seconds later Sid passes out in the Recliner to keep the title on Steiner.

 

Rating: D-. To the shock of no one, this was a mess. Jarrett and Steiner are apparently the big heel alliance now and no one cares. Of course Steiner, allegedly a nightmare backstage at this point, continues his Superman push. The match ran like 10 minutes. From Race vs. Flair….to this. Let that sink in for a bit. Steiner holding up the belt with one of the side plates falling off is a sad sight indeed.

 

Overall Rating: D. I’ve seen worse shows, but the problem here is that other than the ladder match, absolutely nothing here feels like it belongs on a major PPV. I mean really, the ladder match is worth seeing (although it’s got nothing on the first TLC matches or the triangle ladder match but still) but other than that, I’m not going to remember a thing on this show in about two hours.

 

They managed to make Starrcade, once the biggest show in the world, into nothing more than a run of the mill show. This was a great example of why the company died. There was no reason for the main event to happen, no one wanted to see it, the people in it were never going anywhere, there were ten matches and you could argue six of them were weapons/hardcore based matches and there was one match worth watching with the people in it never getting a push. This my friends is WCW and that is why it died. Off to Sin.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

How in the world do I not have this up yet?

 

Bash at the Beach 1996
Date: July 7, 1996
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 8,300
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes

So this is it. This is the show where everything changed for WCW. There had been an invasion by Hall and Nash, who up to this point I don’t think had been named, and we had Sting, Luger and Savage joined together to fight them off. There’s also a mystery third man that no one knows yet.

That right there is what causes the whole change in wrestling. It launched WCW into the stratosphere and causes WWF to be about as sick as you can get without dying. The rest of the show is pretty much forgotten and with good reason. Let’s get to it.

If you’re looking for what I think about the beginning of the NWO, scroll down to the end of this and you’ll find it.

This is subtitles The Hostile Takeover. Yep it’s so hostile that they’re being given ring music, a match on the show and the main event spot on the PPV. I wonder if they got catering too.

There are security guards at the table with them. Ok then.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

Rey had debuted at the PPV the month before this. This should be awesome as they have all kinds of history together. Tenay replaces Bobby for this one. Rey is YOUNG here, only being 21 at this point. Rey starts off with a half crab. We hear about how popular these two are, talking about how the masks are sold in the streets. I always wanted a Kane mask. Finally they get tired of the leg locks and go all lucha on us.

And then they hit a chinlock. Sure why not. Psychosis hits the guillotine legdrop that would be his finisher later but it’s just two here. You know for a match with these guys, this is pretty freaking boring. Rey finally starts throwing some ranas to make things interesting. West Coast Pop gets two. And let’s talk about the main event. Heenan is here too actually.

We hit the floor and Psychosis hits a perfect senton to the floor on Mysterio. It’s a back splash, not the Hardy move. This referee is really annoying. He has a hitch in his count just like that Armstrong referee that got released a few months ago. So after almost ten minutes they realize they’re Rey Mysterio and Psychosis and just go the heck off with high spots.

Psychosis goes for Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb from the top) but Rey shoves off in mid air and hooks him into a hurricanrana for the pin. That’s still one of my all time favorite endings to a match. Mysterio would win the Cruiserweight Title the next night on Nitro.

Rating: B+. This started VERY slow but once they realized the crowd was only halfway into it, they cranked it WAY up and it turned into nothing but awesome high spots. See, this is a FAR different Rey than you’re used to today. This is when he was the best cruiserweight ever. He was pulling off stuff that is just flat out insane.

Then he destroyed both of his knees and slowed way down to where he was like 3rd best in the world. Either way, he’s amazing at this time and had some of the most jaw dropping spots ever. Also keep in mind: this is the very beginning of this division. Today it’s common to see this all over the place in America, but it had only debuted in mainstream wrestling less than a year ago at this point, so this was mind blowing stuff. Great opener and the crowd is white hot now.

Konnan says he’ll keep the title. When asked what happened to end the match, he says Psychosis had him up for a top rope Splash Mountain but Rey reversed into a top rope Frankensteiner. YOU CAN’T BUY THIS KIND OF ANALYSIS PEOPLE!

Apparently you can and it’s called Mike Tenay. Got it.

John Tenta vs. Big Bubba

This is a Carson City Silver Dollars Match. In other words, there’s a sock full of silver dollars on a pole and either Big Boss Man or Earthquake has to climb it. Keep in mind that Eddie Guerrero vs. Regal and Steiners vs. Harlem Heat for the tag titles took place on the Main Event, which was the TV show that aired before this. Who in their right mind thought this was a good idea? Oh that’s right: they’re Hogan’s buddies.

Bubba shaved half of Tenta’s hair and half of his mustache, making him look even stupider. Is there a point to the bag of silver? Not at all, but why let that stop them? Tenta finally wakes up and tries to take the pole down. Keep in mind that you win by pinfall so the pole isn’t even needed. Then again why would logic make sense here? Earthquake gets tied to the ropes with athletic tape. Only one arm though.

Who in the name of hollandaise sauce thought this was a good idea? Boss Man comes over with some scissors to cut the rest of his hair but Quake uses them to cut the tape. Ok that’s smart at least. We get our first intelligent thing of the night as Bubba tells Jimmy Hart to climb the pole. Tenta gets them and nails Bubba in the jaw with the silver dollars for the pin. THIS GOT NINE MINUTES.

Was this supposed to be a joke that went bad? Again, Harlem Heat vs. the Steiners for the TAG TEAM TITLES didn’t go on PPV, but this did. WOW. Oh and I forgot to mention: THIS IS THE TALLEST POLE EVER. Tenta is 6’7 and wasn’t even half as tall as that thing. Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? He pours the silver dollars on Bubba afterwards. So not only did he beat him up, but he pays him for it? Is this some kind of weird fetish?

Rating: S. As in SERIOUSLY? This makes the PPV and gets almost ten minutes? I get that Hogan was running things, but this is ridiculous to put it mildly. The match was boring and the whole cutting the straps on the pole went nowhere. This was just freaking bad all around.

The announcers talk for a bit and Tony has a lei on. The others talk about how important this is and Tony looks like an idiot. Bobby says he’s been asking people not involved in wrestling if they know who the third man is. He’s surprised that they didn’t know. Do I even need to make fun of this?

Team WCW says they’re ready for the Outsiders and don’t care who the third man is. They all have their faces painted like Sting. Oh and Luger is full face now, which at least makes sense for this.

Lord of the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Duggan

This is a taped fist match for the stupid ring that DDP won last month that is now worthless since his title shot was revoked. So apparently in this you can tape your fists more than you usually can? I hate WCW. I truly do hate it at times, but at least it improves for a bit after this. The fans chant USA, even though both guys are Americans. That always made my head hurt.

I’d love to see someone that Duggan was fighting get fired up more than he did because of the chants and shout about how they’re MORE American than Duggan. Apparently 10,000 people were turned away. Maybe it would be better if they got an arena that held 10,000 people in the first place. Duggan has his feet taped together around the post. Again, is there some kind of tape fetish in this company? And he just gets out through some unseen method.

Again, Guerrrero vs. Regal and Heat vs. Steiners. Just thought I’d remind you of that. Page uses the ropes to avoid a suplex and Tony gets on him for it. Why? It’s a legal move. Everybody is shocked that Duggan can manage to take control without tape on his fists. Thanks for the vote of confidence in Duggan. After being on the floor for 8 seconds, Duggan slides Page in and walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Duggan throws some tape on his fist and knocks Page out anyway. Another waste of time.

Rating: D-. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS? For the life of me I can’t think of one. Either way, the match was terrible and I still fail to see the point in it. Just a waste of five minutes or so.

Giant and Taskmaster say they’re not worried about the Horsemen. Giant is still world champion here.

Lee Marshall talks to Benoit and Anderson who get the aforementioned heels later tonight. Arn of course cuts a decent promo.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

It’s a tag team dog collar match with a former ECW team. Pay no attention to the Stevie Richards/Raven vs. Pit Bulls dog collar match less than a year before this in ECW. WCW never stole anything from ECW at all. Not a thing. Have you noticed a significant lack of young talent on this card other than the openers or DDP? Bischoff is missing if that means anything at all. Sags and Rock are attached and Knobs and Grunge are attached.

We almost immediately go split screen which has the ocean behind it and only half of the screen is covered by the split screen due to the MASSIVE BATB logo on the top of the screen. Brilliant. A trash can full of trash is brought in. Sure why not. We go up to the beach set and Johnny Grunge gets knocked down and is in pain. He was beaten by an inflatable pink shark. Somehow this has stopped being absurd. That’s a new one on me.

They fight for about five minutes on the beach. This is entertaining at least. I know I don’t say that often but this is one of those matches that reaches the point of insanity that makes it amusing. The announcers not taking it seriously at all helps a lot too. We get a table brought in. Keep that in mind. Rock gets piledriven on the floor and there’s no cover. Knobs hits a GREAT trash can shot on Grunge.

There goes the first table. We’re back in the ring now with another table. Now this one noticeably looks different than your modern Dudley tables. Sags is on the table and Rock goes up. He gets pulled into a front flip and bounces off the table. Remember that Rock weighs about 300lbs. Sags goes up and drops an elbow onto Rock onto the table. It STILL doesn’t break.

Rock comes unhooked from the chain when he’s whipped into the chain of Knobs and Grunge and it clotheslines him. That’s also enough for the pin. Rock knocks Sags from the apron to FINALLY break the real table. Most tables are precut and weakened to make going through them easier. This one wasn’t apparently.

Rating: C+. Not bad actually. They woke up and realized that there’s no point in trying to have these two teams have a coherent match. This was just pure insane fun and it actually worked pretty well. The shark was funny if nothing else. The commentary helped too as they just had fun with it like they were supposed to. Fun match.

Gene is in front of the Outsiders’ locker room. He doesn’t go try to talk to them or anything, but he’s in front of it. Love that hard hitting reporting!

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko

I hate to say it, but that song is catchy. He says everyone is here to see him dance and once he wins the title he’ll dance. The guy had charisma and energy. You can’t take that away from him. And let’s talk about the main event more. Ok to be fair, this was a huge match for a change rather than the usual run of the mill main events so I can’t complain that much.

They talk about how awesome the cruiserweights are even though a lot of the really great ones aren’t there yet. This is all Malenko so far. Malenko’s in ring work is really underrated as far as the flying stuff goes. He actually was ranked as the best in the world in the PWI 500 in 97. I was surprised by that. Maybe six minutes in, Disco hits his first offense which is a punch. And now he just goes off in the longest string of offense he’s ever been on I think.

It lasts all of a minute. Heenan says pincovers. I thought only Taz used that term. Most odd. Disco hits his Stunner which was his finisher but checks his hair first. Dean starts busting out springboards of all things. He really could do just about all of it. Dean just goes off and hooks the Cloverleaf for the tap out. Malenko just going off like that made it work for me.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad, but the ending was never really in doubt. Inferno looked pretty decent if nothing else, but it’s not like it meant much as Rey would beat Dean the next night in the opener to win the title. Decent little filler match though.

Kimberly says nothing of note. She’s in a towel though so I can’t complain.

Joe Gomez vs. Steve McMichael

So Gomez is a career jobber and McMichael is in his PPV debut as a Horseman. Any bets on what happens here? Mongo is allegedly one of the meanest people Dusty has seen in the last 10-20 years. Wow. This is another of those matches where you know there’s no drama as to the winner. The crowd is DEAD. McMichael just isn’t that good yet. To be fair he never became any good but at least he has an excuse here.

Apparently this is his third match. That’s saying a lot. Gomez is called a rookie here despite having been wrestling over ten years at this point. This is just going on too long. That’s what this boils down to. This match is just too long. They’re making it look like he can’t finish anyone off. He should win this in like 2 minutes and we’re over five already. It makes him look inept rather than elite.

There’s your boring chant. Gomez starts his comeback and they botch the heck out of a sunset flip. Thankfully they realize that it’s going bad and just end it almost immediately. This would have been a success if they cut about 4 minutes out of it.

Rating: F. This was supposed to be a squash and Mongo was supposed to look dominant. Neither happened as Mongo looked like a BAD rookie that had no idea what he was doing. I get that he needs ring time, but he needs to get it in far shorter spurts. This can be blamed on the booking far more than the people in it though. Again, you cut four minutes out of this and it’s light years better.

Flair cuts a promo and forgets he’s fighting Konnan and says that he’s fighting a man with 1000 holds. Right. Gene gets hit on by Woman again which was something I never got at all.

US Title: Konnan vs. Ric Flair

It’s nice to see a guy like Flair going down to Konnan’s level. This is the kind of stuff you just flat out do not see in modern wrestling. Konnan looks…weird. They shill Nitro tomorrow. Once I get done with the PPVs, I might start doing some Nitros and Raws. Just not sure how many of them. We hear about Flair’s cardio which is in a word, unmatched. The Surfboard never stops looking totally awesome.

Konnan Hulks Up and we go to the floor. Konnan gets a running start off of the apron and takes down Flair and Liz at the same time. That’s just WRONG. With the referee distracted Woman kicks Konnan square in the balls. Even the fans cheer for it, I’m assuming out of sympathy. In case you forgot about it, let’s talk about the main event! Konnan makes ANOTHER comeback and Flair is in something resembling trouble.

This is a very different Konnan here as he looks like a guy that actually could win something. Flair gets put in the figure four which for some reason is surprising despite it happening in about every match he’s ever in. The rolling clothesline hits and you can tell we’re running out of time here.

Konnan hooks an abdominal stretch into a rollup for no count as Liz is with the referee. Lucky bastard. Woman pops Konnan with the shoe to the head and throws his feet on the ropes (completely unneeded but it’s what great heels do) to win his first US Title in over 15 years.

Rating: C+. Not bad but it never got me going on this one. Flair getting the belt gave it some legit credibility that it had been lacking recently after runs from One Man Gang and Sasake so this was a big deal. Konnan never was as important as he was here again though, but this was just an ok match. I don’t think anyone thought Flair would lose though.

Gene goes to the Outsiders locker room and there’s a third voice in there. He’s not sure who it was but he’s heard it before. Even knowing who this is, the drama is there man. They’re building this perfectly and I’m excited about this.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Taskmaster/The Giant

Ok so there are two things to keep in mind here. If the Horsemen win, a Horseman gets a shot at the Giant the following night for the title. The second thing is that no one can beat the Giant so they’re going to focus on Sullivan. They brawl in the aisle and Mongo runs out with the briefcase he had to nail Giant who chases Mongo to the back, making it a handicap match for a bit.

It means nothing as Giant is back in like 8 seconds. Ok then. Now Benoit and Sullivan were having a GREAT feud where most of it was shoot stuff as Benoit had (kayfabe) stolen Woman, who was in real life married to Sullivan. In real life, Benoit and Woman had an affair and in real life Woman left Sullivan for Benoit. So in other words, they legit hated each other and were in brutal fights with each other.

Sullivan gets to get beaten on forever as we realize that the match is over once Giant comes in. So he gets a tag (to a freaking POP) and the Horsemen run. Benoit and Sullivan fight up to the announce area as Giant beats Anderson up like a jobber and the chokeslam ends it in like a minute. Benoit dives off of the announcers’ stage to plow into Sullivan.

That could have been a top five ever feud if Sullivan hadn’t sucked so much. Benoit is just destroying him at this point until Woman comes out and yells at Chris to stop it. This never went anywhere because of the NWO. Benoit was just awesome back then, even moreso than he would become. Giant carries Sullivan off like a 6 pack which is kind of funny.

Rating: D+. This did its job and that’s it. There was nothing to the match but somehow it went eight minutes. This was just a filler to set up the next chapter in Benoit vs. Sullivan and to be fair it did that, but we’ll never know where it went after that.

And now the reason why this is the most important show in WCW’s history up to that point: the main event. Since this is legitimately one of the biggest matches ever, I’ll have a special section at the end talking about the NWO at this stage. I’ll save the latter stuff for when it happens, but this will focus on the beginning through about Uncensored 97 where Hogan vs. Sting became the clear end goal. So I’m not skipping this, but I’ll save it for the end so scroll down if that’s what you’re here for.

We recap the invasion and see Hall walking onto Nitro and making history back in May. Those two debuts were some of the biggest shockers I can ever remember. They both blew my mind and even me, perhaps the biggest WWF mark here, forgot Raw existed for a little bit. There’s no commentary of voiceover here.

It’s just clips and occasional audio with them. Not that it really matters but Hall and Nash cost Sting and Luger the tag belts. This whole thing comes down to one question: Who is the Third Man?

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savagevs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???

In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.

I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.

The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.

The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.

He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.

That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.

It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.

Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the tar out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.

That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.

The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is ticked off is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.

This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.

He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.

If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.

He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says Hogan can get out twice and we’re done.

Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked.

OverallRating: B+. Not even considering the main event, this is a very good show all around. There’s one bad match early on, but you completely forget about everything else by the main event. There’s some great stuff on here and you could easily use this show as a definition for how to build drama to the ending. That was all that mattered but it worked like a charm at the end. Great show and well worth watching all the way through.

Despite all that happened to it later on and all the insanity that came from it and how it eventually became an albatross that brought WCW to its knees (and yes, most of the blame can still go on Hogan for reasons I’m sure we’ll get to later), when it began this was one of the best storylines in the history of wrestling (and yes X and others, I know Bischoff stole it from Japan).

Having an invasion could have been the best idea in the world. However, I think it peaked as soon as the Giant and Fake Sting joined. The problem simply was that at that point, it stopped being about an invasion and it was just a big faction in WCW. Hogan had to be there or else it was two guys beating up WCW guys. Hogan was virtually unbeatable in WCW so they needed him on board or everyone would just be waiting on Hogan to come in and save the day for WCW all over again.

The problem became that EVERYTHING became about the NWO. Angles such as Benoit/Sullivan and DDP’s benefactor were just dropped and it was NWO all the way. This is a big part of why the company failed in the long run. People got tired of the NWO and WCW had nothing else to throw out there.

Over in the WWF at their peak you had Austin vs. Vince but you also had the IC Title all over the place, you had the hardcore stuff, you had a (terrible) lightweight division, you had DX vs. the Nation and Rock vs. HHH. The midcard wars were going on and while they were tied to Austin vs. Vince, at the same time they were their own feuds. In short, there were a lot of things going on in the company other than just the main event.

Now, the NWO came out red hot and was the #1, #2 and #3 reason why WWF got its head handed to them and the early days of it were the best. That night where Rey got thrown into the trailer was one of the sickest things I have ever seen in wrestling and I was legit scared of the NWO after that. To say they nailed the start of this was an understatement. The NWO was a brilliant idea and it saved both WCW and Hogan.

The next year and a half were some of the most interesting shows of all time. Note that I said interesting and not good or anything like that. Either way, I’m looking forward to the next bunch of PPVs, but we’re going to reach a point eventually, and it’s not going to go well. Still though, this was GREAT and probably the biggest and best played shock in wrestling history.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #96
Date: July 14, 1997
Location: Orlando Arena, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the night after Bash at the Beach and not a lot has changed because not a lot was on the line last night. Hogan and Rodman lost as Luger made Hogan tap out for the second time in less than a month. Other than that, Hennig was the mystery partner but he walked out on Page halfway through the match. Road Wild is in a few weeks now and there’s a good deal of stuff to get through before we get to that. Let’s get to it.

Michael Buffer intros us to the show and introduces, for the first time ever, the Nitro Girls. Basically they’re cheerleaders who lasted for YEARS. Kimberly is their leader for an excuse to keep her on television. The girls dance around on chairs for a bit.

The announcers talk about how awesome the end of last night’s show was. For some reason the audio sounds really weird here. We talk about the fake Sting from last night, which Larry points out the flaw that somehow no one got last night: if that’s the real Sting, he’s now taller than Hogan.

Alex Wright vs. Prince Iaukea

They do nothing of note for about a minute and here’s Giant to chokeslam the referee to a BIG pop. The match just stops and Giant chokeslams the Prince and some security.

Giant says he’s had it with the NWO, especially Kevin Nash. He knows it was Nash that attacked him with the bat last night and he wants a piece of him NOW. Instead he gets led off by more security.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

This is a result of Eddie walking out on Chavo last week in a tag match. Chavo hammers him to start and sends Eddie flying to the floor, where the younger one hits a HUGE dive to take both guys out. Back in and Chavo gets crotched followed by a rana from Eddie. He tells Chavo to say hello to grandma and punches Chavo in the face again. Chavo charges into an elbow but comes back with a pair of suplexes for two each. His Frog Splash hits Eddie’s knees though, and it’s an Eddie powerbomb and Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches that would have been better with more time. These guys know each other very well and know how to bounce off of each other really well. Chavo would get WAY better and Eddie was always solid, so there was almost no way this wasn’t going to be at least decent.

Post match Eddie hits another splash until Hector comes out for the save.

Here are Page and Kimberly with something to say. Kimberly looks great here in a white bra and shorts. Page says six months ago he had a match in Minneapolis and after the show, he went out for a few beers. He ran into Hennig and they realized they had a lot in common. Page says he would have asked Sting for help last night, but Sting has already helped him too many times. Luger and Giant were busy so they were out. That left Hennig, but apparently Hennig isn’t a standup guy. Page says he’s full of surprises, and if you don’t believe him, ask Savage about La Parka.

The Nitro Girls dance a bit more in smaller outfits.

Harlem Heat promises to beat up the Outsiders.

Vicious and Delicious vs. Steiner Brothers

For the sake of simplicity, Scott Steiner will be called Scott and Scott Norton will be called Norton. Scott and Buff start things off as we hear about the Steiners facing the Outsiders for the titles at Road Wild. Buff takes Scott down and dances a bit, resulting in Rick smacking him in the back of the head. Scott hiptosses him out of the corner so Buff complains of a tights pull. A dropkick puts Scott on the floor so Scott comes back with a BIG clothesline to take over.

A gorilla press puts Bagwell down as the fans are very into this match so far. Another clothesline sends Buff to the floor and it’s off to an armbar back inside. Here’s Rick to bark a lot as we see Konnan getting out of the NWO limo. There’s your newest member I guess. Nash arrives as well and is limping pretty badly. Back in the arena and everything breaks down with Vincent cheating a bit behind the referee’s back. Norton rams Rick’s head into the mat and it’s back to Buff, who jumps into a belly to belly from Rick. Hot tag brings in Scott who cleans house until Mura and Chono run in for the DQ.

Rating: C. This was a fine tag match before the lame NWO ending. The idea is the NWO is trying to wear the Steiners down before they get tot he Outsiders at the PPV which is a good enough idea. That’s the idea with WCW: the build up was fine, but the execution at the end almost never worked.

The Steiners come back and beat up the NWO.

We see a clip from last night where Raven cut one of his usual poetry style promos to Gene. As for tonight, Raven says he’ll do what he has to do and the only announcement is that there is no announcement. Richards mentions that he (as in Richards) has signed with WCW so Raven headbutts him.

Chris Benoit vs. Mike Enos

Last night Benoit FINALLY got rid of Kevin Sullivan so tonight he can go back to beating people up. Benoit stomps away on Enos in the corner but Mike comes back with knees in the corner. We hear about the return of Clash of the Champions, which would be the final edition of the show. Enos hits a fallaway slam off the middle rope and a neckbreaker gets two. A kneeling piledriver gets two more and it’s off to a bearhug. That gets broken up quickly so Enos powerslams him down for two. Not that it matters as Benoit Crossfaces him for the tap out.

Rating: C. This was a bit better than a squash as Enos got in a lot of offense and was in control for most of the time. Then again Benoit was supposed to be banged up because of the match last night and he won anyway so it’s not a big problem or anything like that. Decent little match here.

More dancing as we’re in hour #2, but there’s no pyro for it or anything.

La Parka vs. Super Calo

Kimberly flashes a Diamond Cutter sign at La Parka as he comes in. Savage runs in less than a minute in to beat up La Parka for the DQ.

The real Page of course runs in and beats up Savage. Curt Hennig comes in and knocks out Page with a foreign object. Hennig didn’t look at Savage or anything like that so it looks like he’s in business for himself. Savage hits the elbow on Page.

Hennig says that five years ago, Page used to ask Hennig for his autograph. Page wouldn’t last thirty seconds with him, just like he can’t with his wife. Flair comes out and tries to recruit Hennig again.

Lee Marshall from Jacksonville.

Here’s the NWO with something to say. Before they get out, we’re told that Nitro is on Tuesday next week. Nash is brought out in a wheelchair after having changed into ring gear since he arrived. A lot of the team is here, minus Hogan. Konnan is with them too. Apparently Nash is APALLED at being accused of being Sting last night. He would NEVER attack another combatant from behind. Nash stands up and talks to Konnan, who opens his shirt to reveal the NWO shirt. They very slowly wheel Nash to the ring.

Harlem Heat vs. Syxx/Scott Hall

The announcers and Harlem Heat have called this a street fight all night but it appears to be a normal match. Booker and Syxx start things off as Heenan talks about how everyone needs to buy the PPV replay to see what happened again and be sure of what they saw. This is something that’s missing from wrestling anymore: this mentality of YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS. Anymore it’s more like “here’s what we’ve got, please watch.”

Syxx takes him into the corner but Booker Spinaroonis up and kicks Syxx’s head off. Here’s Hall off a tag to face Stevie. Stevie immediately pounds him down in the corner and Hall is in trouble. Hall comes back with a middle rope bulldog for two but Stevie clotheslines him right back down. A double punch from the Heat gets two on Scott as things slow down. Hall puts an armbar on Booker but Mr. T. kicks him in the face to escape.

Hall gets double teamed a bit and a slam by Ray gets two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Scott suplexes out of it. Booker comes in with the ax kick for two and they slug it out a bit. Nash stands up before sitting right back down. Booker superkicks Scott down for two and everything breaks down. Nash gets up and blasts Booker, allowing Hall to hit the Outsider’s Edge for the pin.

Rating: C. Another decent match here with an ending that everyone could see coming a mile away. That’s not always a bad thing, and in this case it was the right call because you’re going to get Nash booed if you have him shown to be a liar. The Heat continue to be treated like nothing of note in the huge Steiners vs. Outsiders feud which never really got paid off.

The Girls dance some more.

Great Muta/Masahiro Chono vs. Public Enemy

The NWO team jumps them on the floor and Rock takes the Mafia Kick from Chono. In a visual I could live without, Chono does the Public Enemy dance on the floor. Back in and the Public Enemy pound away in the corners to clear the ring. Things finally get going like a normal tag match with Chono vs. Grunge. Chono chops away in the corner but gets caught in a neckbreaker. Rock comes in with a double ax and here’s Muta.

He barely stays in at all so here’s Chono again to miss the Mafia Kick. Rock “hits” a moonsault press to take him down and it’s off to Muta vs. Grunge. Muta mauls him until Rock kicks Muta in the back to slow things down. Off to Chono vs. Rock again as things break down. A Vincent distraction lets Muta hit the Green Mist, allowing the Mafia Kick to end Grunge.

Rating: D+. It was clear here that Public Enemy was completely overmatched and they had no chance at winning in a straight match. Chono and Muta are both great and they’re two of the three Japanese guys that most American wrestling fans would recognize (Liger would be the third). That helps a lot as most of the time when a foreigner is brought in, it’s “here’s this guy who is awesome and you should just accept him based on how aewsome we say he is.” That doesn’t work at all, which is why Muta was the best choice if the Japanese guys were going to be in the NWO.

US Title: Ric Flair vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jarrett has Debra with him, as apparently she’s jumped from Mongo. Flair beats on Jarrett to start with a ton of chops and punches. Jarrett dropkicks him to the floor and backdrops him n the outside to take over. Back in and Flair rolls through a cross body for two but he goes shoulder first into the post. Flair almost immediately goes up and jumps into a dropkick but Jeff doesn’t cover, sending Heenan into a fit.

A superplex puts Flair down but Jarrett won’t cover again. Jeff has two Figure Fours broken and Flair gets two off a small package. Jarrett takes down his straps and Flair pounds away in the corner. During the match, Debra commandeers a camera and cuts a promo about how hard her life is because she lives with McMichael. After almost a minute of this, Mongo comes out to yell at her. Flair gets Jarrett in the Figure Four….and Mongo comes in to stomp on Jarrett for the DQ. You couldn’t wait another minute???

Rating: C-. It’s Jarrett vs. Flair. You know this is going to be at least passable if not pretty good. The ending was annoying but it makes sense as it’s all about emotion for Mongo instead of logic or titles. Decent match here as Jarrett and Flair were their usual smooth selves and could make any move look easy.

The Horsemen beat down Jarrett.

Here’s Luger for the main event interview. Luger talks about how he’s had some bad moments but last night made up for them, as he got to Rack Hogan, Rodman in Savage in less than two minutes. Luger challenges Hogan for the title at Road Wild and says if anyone from the NWO wants to fight before then, bring it on. Here are about eight NWO guys and a fake Sting follows them out. Actually make that the real Sting, who is enough to keep the NWO from running in to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a terrible show here as the majority of the episode dealt with fallout from last night. We’re moving towards Road Wild now which should be a decent card given what they’ve got to build up for the show. Luger is white hot here and would deserve the title shot he got. See how easy it can be to logically book a show? Why can’t WWE get that today?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #87
Date: May 12, 1997
Location: 1^st Mariner Center, Baltimore, Arena
Attendance: 8,058
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

I think this is another of those hour long shows due to the NBA Playoffs which is a good idea lately. Slamboree is this Sunday and THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT. The shows have been so insanely boring lately that they need something to be completely changed. 1997 wasn’t kind to the company but everyone remembers it as being awesome for some reason. Hopefully there’s more Sting and Hogan here tonight as without them, these shows suck. Let’s get to it.

Michael Buffer of all people opens the show.

Here are Savage and Liz with the Macho Man on his own feet instead of crutches. He talks about Page jumping him last week and firing him up. Savage wants a fight tonight and that’s it. He talked for 25 seconds max. That’s kind of refreshing.

Apparently Sting wants to conduct a one on one interview with Bischoff. The source of this news: Bischoff. Naturally the announcers accept this with no questions.

TV Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon is defending and Regal talks about how he can outwrestle anyone and will take the title on Sunday. Guerrera starts with a springboard cross body for two followed by a headscissors to send the champ to the floor. Back in and Dragon fires off some kicks followed by an over the shoulder backbreaker for two. Juvy kicks him in the face for two and hits a northern lights fisherman’s suplex for two.

A rana is countered by a Dragon powerbomb and things slow down. Juvy rolls through a rana into a sunset flip for two before escaping a dragon and tiger suplex. They both go up top, resulting in Dragon hitting a superplex to put both guys down. Juvy gets pulled to the floor by Sonny Onoo and Dragon jumps on Guerrera from behind, saving Sonny in the process. Onoo kicks Juvy in the back and back inside, the super rana sets up the Dragon Sleeper to retain the title.

Rating: C. Not bad here but they kept starting and stopping. Juvy is a good choice for an opening act though as he can fly all over the place and do it almost as well as anyone else. That being said, he had no chance at winning the title, but for the most part that’s ok. Sometimes it’s fine to throw out an entertaining match even if the ending isn’t in doubt.

Here are Piper/Flair/Greene to talk about Sunday. Please let this be short. Greene says that everyone pays taxes, everyone dies, and on Sunday he’s going to hurt the NWO. Flair says they’ll be there on Sunday. Piper says he’s isn’t Dorthy from the Wizard of Oz. The NWO shows up and makes fun of the guys in the ring. On Sunday, it’s no DQ and no countout.

Dean Malenko vs. Steve McMichael

Dean takes him to the mat almost immediately but Mongo shoves him down almost just as fast. Malenko goes after the knee but Mongo escapes a Cloverleaf attempt. The leg lariat gets two for Dean but a Jarrett distraction lets Mongo clip Dean from behind. Mongo powerslams Dean but the referee went down during the slam.

Here’s Reggie White but Jarrett distracts him too, allowing Mongo to get in a shot. White hits a clothesline and splash on Mongo (Bobby says it’s not fair as Mongo has already been in there five or ten minutes. It hasn’t even been three yet) giving Dean the pin. This was a mess and it set up Reggie White vs. Mongo on Sunday so if it could be rated, the grade would be very low.

Reggie says he’s fighting for Wisconsin on Sunday.

Lee Marshall does his thing. Remind me again why this guy was getting a paycheck?

Scotty Riggs vs. Wrath

Even Scotty Riggs gets pyro. Man how much money did they have to burn at this point? Before the match, James Vandenberg names his monster as Wrath. As for the match, picture any squash between a small pretty boy and a monster that lasts about 40 seconds. That’s the match you get here. Wrath wins it with his double arm Rock Bottom.

Here’s Glacier post match. He doesn’t do anything but he does in fact show up.

Konnan/Hugh Morrus vs. Alex Wright/Ice Train

Clearly a main event in any arena in the country. Tonight, it’s the main event in the 1^st Mariner Arena. The Dungeon team jumps Train to start with no avail at all. Train and Morrus officially start us off with Ice Train hitting a powerslam to take over. Off to Wright who is booed out of the building. Wright won’t tag out and it lets Morrus take over. A clothesline puts Train down and Wright bails to the floor. Train fights back but Wright claims a knee injury and walks away. The Dungeon double teams Ice Train until the Tequila Sunrise gets the submission.

Rating: D. This was all about the heel turn and not about the match at all. This didn’t lead to a match between Ice Train and Wright, at least not on Nitro. This would be Train’s last match on Nitro that I can find for over three years. Nothing to see here as it was an angle instead of a match, but at least the angle seemed to be what was needed given the crowd hating Wright when he came into the match.

We recap the beatdown on DDP by the NWO last week.

We cut to the back where Piper is down and injured. To the best of my knowledge this wasn’t mentioned at all on Sunday.

Here’s Bischoff for the big interview with Sting. Bischoff stalls a lot and we’re rapidly running out of airtime. To the shock of absolutely no one with a functioning brain, it’s the NWO Sting. The fans say they want Sting. Bischoff says a bunch of things that run Sting down while praising Hogan and Sting nods in agreement with everything. The real Sting comes out and beats up the fake one. Bischoff runs to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. The only thing keeping this from being a total failure is that it was half the length of a usual show. There was NOTHING on this show of value at all and it was pretty clear that no one was interested in what they were doing out there. Slamboree would wind up being the textbook definition of a throwaway show and even though the main event wound up being decent, it didn’t mean anything at all past Sunday night. This show however was horrible and thankfully we’re moving towards something new now.

Here’s Slamboree if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/03/slamboree-1997-agoobwa/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #86
Date: May 5, 1997
Location: Jenkins Center, Lakeland, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

It’s another hour long show this week which was a nice change of pace last week. We’re finally getting close to the end of the build to Slamboree which has gone on way too long now. I believe Hogan is back tonight which will help a lot with the levels of interest on these shows. If nothing else the main event is better than Mongo vs. Barbarian. Let’s get to it.

We open with Flair, Piper and Greene at the announce table but there’s a banner that says “Tradition Bites! NWO 4 Life!” behind them. They freak out before they say anything and we go to the opening sequence.

Back with the three guys in the ring and there’s another paper drop like last week. Piper goes on a rant about last week and the 75% of the gate demands the NWO made. He doesn’t carry a purse so that’s fine with him. JJ comes out and says the NWO is getting 75% and Piper has to deal with it. Didn’t Piper just say it’s ok with him? JJ leaves and Flair says he’ll be ready in Charlotte. There won’t be a single pothole in the road.

Public Enemy vs. Konnan/Hugh Morrus

Public Enemy’s music started while Flair, Piper and Greene were still in the ring and Flair walked past them as they came out. Are they in a time crunch or something? Both teams bring out tables and it’s a brawl to start. They almost immediately head to the floor and Jimmy Hart is put on the table but Konnan makes a last second save. Public Enemy loads up two tables on top of each other and Grunge dives through both, but Konnan was pulled out before the collision.

After all that, it’s time for an actual match to start. Rocco hits a standing moonsault onto both guys for two but Konnan powerbombs him down. There’s a table set up in the middle of the ring but as Rock goes up to splash Konnan through it, Morrus superplexes him through Konnan through the table. Even though Rock is on top of Konnan, Morrus covers Rock for the pin.

Rating: D. I was tempted to not rate this but it was long enough. I have no idea how this wasn’t a DQ in there somewhere but even though it wasn’t, the match was still a mess with a confusing ending. I guess the idea was to fire up the crowd, or to just copy ECW, but either way it was a big mess and it didn’t make a ton of sense.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Syxx

Hall, Nash and Syxx come out in jeans. Rey is looking around and Syxx gets in a spin kick to start. The Bronco Buster is countered by a kick and the Outsiders come in. Hall gets in a shot to the back and hits the Outsiders Edge. Syxx wins with the Buzz Killer in about a minute. How bad are the referees tonight? Somehow he didn’t notice the two huge men in the ring at the same time?

JJ and Nick Patrick come out to break the hold but the NWO comes out as well. Eric tells JJ to get out of here because JJ has no power. Good grief what is the point in JJ even existing if they’re just going to flat out tell us he has no authority? Syxx yells about McMahon because that’s edgy.

Lee Marshall does his road report.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Hogan runs his mouth about the Wolfpac and calls out Sting but no one answers. That’s all from Hollywood at the moment.

Steven Regal vs. Meng

This is fallout from Regal trying to help Benoit from getting beaten down last week. They go at it immediately and sweet goodness are they going at it. Meng pounds Regal down in the corner but Regal fires right back with punches that stagger the monster back. Not that it matters as here’s Kevin Sullivan, who Regal goes after for the DQ. This lasted about 40 seconds but there was more action in it than most matches you’ll see on Raw in a given week.

Meng puts Regal in the Tongan Death Grip post match. Sullivan gets him to drop it and Regal starts beating on them again. The Death Grip stops him cold. Regal looked awesome here.

Video on DDP vs. Savage.

Here are Page and Kimberly. Kimberly looks great in a white dress, even though she stumbles down the ramp. Page talks about being in a lot of bar fights over the years, but none of them were as bad as the one at Spring Stampede. Kimberly refutes Savage’s statements that she loves him, but here’s Savage in the crowd. He tells Kim to stop calling him and that’s about it.

Alex Wright vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff immediately armdrags him down and struts before we go to some chain wrestling. A swinging neckbreaker puts Wright down and Jeff hits the running hip attack while Wright is in 619 position. Wright comes back with aggression but then stops to dance. Debra’s distraction lets Jarrett chop block Wright and the figure four ends this fast.

Time for NASCAR stuff. There’s an announcement coming in two weeks regarding WCW and NASCAR. Oh joy.

Glacier vs. Lizmark Jr.

Superkick, Lizmark is pinned, 17 seconds.

Post match James Vandenberg (James Mitchell of TNA fame), Mortis and Wrath come out for the big heel beating.

Harlem Heat vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

Apparently Luger was injured in Japan by the NWO so it’s Giant on his own. Giant says he has a partner to replace Luger though.

Diamond Dallas Page/The Giant vs. Harlem Heat

Savage pops up as Page comes out but Page steals a crutch from him. Hogan jumps Page from behind with the other crutch and Page is in trouble. The NWO comes out to beat on Page. Where is Giant? Oh he’s in the ring getting ganged up on by the NWO. Flair and Greene come out as well but get beaten down. Piper comes in once everyone else is down and is promptly beaten as well. Hogan runs his mouth to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Nitro is in a bad stage at this point as the shows aren’t really good or bad but rather just kind of there. The star power helped a lot here as this felt like stuff that actually mattered. The problem with that is it’s the same stuff we’ve seen time after time. JJ continues to mean nothing at all which would be the case for a good while to come. The NWO stuff is back to what it used to be, which is to say that it’s repetitive. Nothing of note would really change until August, and even that was just for five days. The show being an hour was a big help here though, as two hours would be too much.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #85
Date: April 28, 1997
Location: Norfolk Scope, Norfolk, Virginia
Attendance: 9,467
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is a special edition of Nitro which only runs for an hour due to the NBA Playoffs airing after the show. That being said, after the debacle of last week’s show, cutting this in half is probably best for everyone involved. We’re still creeping towards Slamboree and the main event that only WCW seems to care about. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from Starrcade 1993 with Flair beating Vader for the title.

Here are Piper and Flair to open things up. They head to the announce table and say they want the NWO tonight.

US Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Dean Malenko

Jarrett says he’ll win the title from Dean at Slamboree. So even he doesn’t think Iaukea has a chance here. Dean immediately takes him to the mat to start and grabs a headlock. They trade armdrags and Iaukea hooks an armbar. Larry points out how stupid it is to try to take Malenko to the mat and he appears to be correct as Dean quickly escapes and elbows Prince in the corner. Iaukea comes back with a superkick for two but Dean powerbomb the tar out of Iaukea for two. A powerslam sets up the Cloverleaf for Malenko to retain. This was basically a squash.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Syxx

Syxx is defending. Juvy speeds things up to start and a headscissors put Syxx on the floor. A spinwheel kick hits Syxx in the throat but Guerrera botches a flip out of the corner. Syxx hits one of the best looking spin kicks I’ve ever seen and Juvy is in trouble. There’s the Bronco Buster and a vertical suplex gets two for the champ.

A top rope double ax gets two for Syxx but as he goes up again, Juvy crotches him. Guerrera slips off the top again before driving Syxx’s head into the mat on a rana attempt. Juvy tries a flip dive attack but kicks Waltman right in the mouth. FREAKING OW MAN! Syxx finally has enough and the Buzzkiller ends this quick.

Rating: C-. Sweet goodness this was a match of two different wrestlers. Syxx looked fine out there but Guerrera looked almost dangerous in the ring, botching nearly everything he tried and probably hurting Syxx on that flip move. It’s so strange to see Syxx wrestling at all and it’s at least giving these other Cruiserweights something to fight for.

Lee Marshall does his thing with the road report.

Here are Syxx and the Outsiders to the announce desk. Hall might debut the name Wolfpac here. They don’t care what the old guys say, but if the old guys want to fight at the PPV, it’ll cost 75% of the gate money.

Chris Benoit vs. Steven Regal

This should be good. They fight over a wristlock to start with Regal doing his usual amazing counter while laying on his back and spinning around using his feet. Off to a test of strength grip with Regal being shoved down, only to nip up and escape. They trade pinfall reversals and for some reason we go to a wide camera shot. Blood maybe? And here’s Sullivan for the DQ. I mean, why would we want to see Benoit and Regal tear the house down when we can get Benoit vs. Sullivan continuing a feud that has been going on since July?

Meng shows up to save Sullivan and puts Benoit in the Tongan Death Grip to take him down.

Savage says he’ll beat up Page.

Amazing French Canadians vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

Luger vs. Oulette to start things off with Lex controlling with basic power, but the Canadians hit a double team hot shot to take over. The Outsiders have accepted Piper and Flair’s challenge for later tonight. Jacques slams Luger down and Lex is in trouble, but not enough to get elbowed off the middle rope by Oulette. Hot tag brings in Giant and it’s a chokeslam for the pin on Jacques as Luger Racks Oulette. Not long enough to rate but more competitive than you would have expected, at least for awhile.

Video on the Bears vs. the Packers to hype up White vs. McMichael.

Steve McMichael vs. Barbarian

Barbarian jumps Mongo as he comes through the ropes and we’re off fast. It’s so fast that Tony ignores the match and reads house show ads. Mongo knocks him into the corner, only to get his head kicked off a second later. Out to the floor and Mongo is sent into the barricade and then into the post. Back inside and a piledriver gets two on McMichael as the announcers argue over whether or not football players make good wrestlers. Barbarian argues with the referee, Debra slides in the case, the referee somehow misses the thud and Mongo wins.

Rating: D+. I can appreciate the idea of giving Mongo what should have been a natural feud with White, but a match like this isn’t making him any better in the ring. This was basically a Barbarian squash until Mongo hit one illegal shot for the pin. It was just over three minutes though, which is about Mongo’s shelf life in a match, which makes it all the more amazing that he and White got fifteen minutes at Slamboree.

Here are Flair and Piper for the fight with the Outsiders. Flair says he knows he can take Syxx because he’s had more title reigns than Syxx has had women. The NWO music hits but it’s an NWO paper drop from the ceiling instead. They say “Tradition Bites! NWO 4 Life!” Nash, Hall and Syxx finally come out and Flair beats them all up in the aisle. Piper lets him fight all three at once until the numbers catch up with Flair. After about a minute of Flair getting beaten up, piper comes in for the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t that interesting. The fact that this was just an hour helped it a lot as we didn’t have time for nonsense that no one wanted to see and was only there to fill time. The longest match is less than five minutes long, but that’s understandable in this case. The problem with the show though was that the main story isn’t that interesting with the six man at the PPV being worthless and did anyone care about White vs. McMichael?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #84
Date: April 21, 1997
Location: Saginaw Civic Center, Saginaw, Michigan
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

We continue the marathon of shows between Spring Stampede and Slamboree and the big story tonight is the decision regarding the future of Eric Bischoff. Other than that, there isn’t much here as we’re heading towards Slamboree with a meaningless six man tag team main event. Nothing on the card looks like anything of note at all. Let’s get to it.

James J. Dillon arrives to open the show. He doesn’t really mean anything other than being a legend at this point.

Hogan is FINALLY out of the intro sequence.

US Title: Yuji Nagata vs. Dean Malenko

I think this is Nagata’s company debut so he doesn’t mean much yet. Dean takes him down to the mat and puts on a headlock. Yuji counters into a headscissors, followed by an enziguri and a chinlock. Reggie White is here again so let’s put the camera on him for about ten seconds. Dean hits a jawbreaker to escape the hold and suplexes Nagata down for two. We hit chinlock #3 in the third minute of the match, this one with Dean in control.

Nagata escapes and puts on a modified STF but after letting it go, Yuji walks into a leg lariat for two. Nagata tries some kicks but gets caught in a dragon screw leg whip. The injury doesn’t last long as Yuji superkicks Dean down and hits an overhead belly to belly for two. Nagata misses another kick and Dean drops an elbow on the leg before throwing on the Cloverleaf to retain.

Rating: C. When they weren’t using the chinlocks this was a pretty fun match. Dean was on fire in 1997 and there was almost no one he couldn’t have a good match with. Nagata would come back later in the year and have an incredibly dull feud with Ultimo Dragon. I understand that these guys are Japanese legends and are incredibly talented, but it takes a lot more than a resume in another country and a six minute match on Nitro to get people to care about you, and most of the guys from other countries never got the chance to prove otherwise.

Glacier vs. Ciclope

Glacier’s entrance takes longer than the match as he kicks Ciclope in the head and pins him in about thirty seconds.

Post match Glacier does more of his posing stuff until Wrath (not yet named) comes out. The distraction lets Mortis come in and jump Glacier from behind. Mortis steals Glacier’s helmet which is like 700 years old or something. They try to injure Glacier’s eye as this goes on WAY too long. When the fans spent the entire match chanting GLACIER SUCKS, giving this whole beatdown nearly four minutes was a bad idea.

Tony tells us that JJ Dillon is the new head of the executive committee. This brings out Nick Patrick to give his reasons as to why he should be let back into WCW. This isn’t exactly Benoit and Mysterio from last week in the opening segments.

TV Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Bobby Eaton

Eaton pounds him down to start for a surprising early advantage. Dragon fires off the kicks though and Bobby has no idea what to do. You would think after hanging out with Stan Lane for so many years he would be familiar with martial arts. Sonny offers a quick distraction and Eaton gets dropkicked to the floor. Onoo kicks Eaton into the barricade and sends him back inside for the super rana and the Dragon Sleeper to keep the title in Japan.

Regal says he isn’t dating Sarah Ferguson and that he’ll get the TV Title back. He actually would, which makes you wonder what the point was in having Dragon win it in the first place at all, when Dragon would win it back a few weeks later.

Meng vs. Chris Jericho

Meng immediately clubbers him down and all of the fans look at something in the crowd, presumably a fight. Jericho and Meng chop it out with the savage taking over. Chris hits a middle rope dropkick but Meng won’t go down. Meng hits a belly to back suplex for one and then chokes a bit. The fans are finally sitting down. Now they look at something else. Geez what is going on over there?

Jericho hits a spinwheel kick but Meng won’t go down. An enziguri misses for the Canadian so he tries a standing Lionsault. Meng literally stands there while Jericho hits him and slides down Meng’s body. This is getting embarrassing in a hurry. The Canadian hits a German on the Tongan for two but a rana attempt is countered into a hot shot. Tongan Death Grip gets the win for Meng.

Rating: D-. Oh this was bad and the majority of that seems to be on Meng. He wouldn’t sell ANYTHING here, as Jericho was hitting all kinds of kicks but Meng would just stare at him. I’m assuming this was the beginning of Meng push #84 which would likely wind up going nowhere at all.

Jimmy Hart says that was a message to Benoit, who faces Meng at Slamboree. Oh so there was a point to it. Sullivan and Jackie (about as close to falling out of a dress as you can be without being censored) come out to talk about Benoit too. When is the retirement match already? This time Sullivan rants about his kids and says something about sorority sisters for his daughter. Meng goes after Sullivan for no apparent reason but Jackie gets in his way. Meng speaks English and says that if it wasn’t for her, he would take both of them. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS STABLE?????

Video on Benoit.

Steiner Brothers vs. Public Enemy

Before the Steiners come out we cut to the back where the Steiners are fighting with the Dungeon of Doom. The Steiners are the hometown boys here and their dad is here. Rick and Grunge start with Grunge being powerslammed down almost immediately. Off to Rocco who grabs a headlock but Scott tags himself in. He picks up Rocco and throws him at Grunge out of a gorilla press in a scary power display. Back to Rick vs. Grunge after the Public Enemy bails to the floor for a bit. A double clothesline puts Rick down but Rocco misses a flip dive off the top. Not that it matters as Konnan/Morrus run in for the double DQ.

Hour #2 begins so we get the usual recap.

Here’s JJ for his introductory speech, which isn’t even good enough to put in the ring. Tony interrupts him to ask about Nick Patrick. JJ says he’ll consider the reinstatement. As for Bischoff, he has no authority but he still has a contract and he can still be around. JJ goes into a bunch of legal jargon and for some reason Mr. Wallstreet and Big Bubba are under contract to WCW instead of the NWO. Bischoff comes out and says bite me. Eric explains how great he is and how he doesn’t care what anyone else says.

JJ says Eric has made the center of the wrestling universe WCW instead of Stamford, Connecticut. Eric says bite me. JJ says this isn’t acceptable but Bischoff leaves. Since it’s JJ Dillon, he talks about shoes to close things out (old school fans will get that reference). Absolutely nothing was accomplished here, but thank goodness they got a wrestling guy to be the authority figure so that A, people know who he is and B, he knows how to talk in front of a live audience.

Scotty Riggs vs. Jeff Jarrett

This is a rematch from Saturday Night which the world was waiting for. Jarrett lost on Saturday and beat him up post match so we needed a second match. Riggs charges in and gets beaten down by Jeff. A swinging neckbreaker and release gutwrench suplex put Riggs down followed by the move that would eventually be called The Stroke.

Riggs gets in some quick offense but Jarrett backdrops him to the floor which isn’t a DQ because we’re not enforcing that rule right now. Time to look at Reggie White as Jeff misses an enziguri. Scotty’s top rope cross body gets two and here’s Mongo with the briefcase. White jumps the railing to stop him and Mongo runs away. Jeff takes out the knee and a quick Figure Four gets the submission win.

Rating: D+. This was barely above a squash and was pretty much here for the White vs. Mongo stuff. At the end of the day, I’m not sure who cared about White vs. McMichael but it’s something different than the Horsemen arguing over Debra which makes it a huge improvement. Well maybe not huge but it’s better at least.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Syxx is defending. Nash is the only NWO backup here so far. Feeling out process to start with neither guy being able to get an extended advantage. Rey takes him to the mat with a headlock and Syxx slaps the mat but it doesn’t count as a tap for no apparent reason. Back up and Rey slaps him in the face before headscissoring Syxx down. Syxx gets in a kick and drops that fast leg to take over.

More kicks in the corner set up the Bronco Buster which isn’t named yet. That would be Syxx hitting it as Rey hadn’t yet adopted the move. The champ hooks an abdominal stretch but gets caught holding the ropes. After Rey is sent to the floor for a second, Syxx misses another Bronco Buster back inside. A somewhat messed up West Coast pop gets two and a top rope rana sends the champ to the floor. Nash comes in and kills Rey with the Jackknife (which the referee somehow didn’t notice), allowing Syxx to put on the Buzz Kill for the easy win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending sucked. Seriously, how could the referee not notice Rey slamming into the mat two feet away from him? Syxx would hold the title for a few more months while Rey did his thing for the foreseeable future. Either way, this was fine but the ending was about what you expected.

Dillon comes out post match and yells but nothing comes of it. Rey is taken out on a stretcher.

Video on Luger.

Hogan is in a movie and we take a look at him on set.

Here’s the NWO again with something to say. Syxx talks about how Flair and Piper were out here last week talking about respect. He wants to know what kind of respect it is to rip off the Nature Boy gimmick from Buddy Rogers. Nash isn’t worried about Piper because he looked down the road the old guys paved and saw nothing but potholes.

He goes on a big rant about backstage politics, talking about how people’s kids were getting pushed and that was it. Then they went to New York where everyone was trying to get the business out of the funk the old guys left it in. Nash talks about how Piper and Flair are going to have to beat respect out of them because this is their generation now. Where do I even begin?

First and foremost, this is 1997. I’m writing this review in the year 2012 and odds are if you’re reading this, you knew what Nash was talking about. That being said, you’re probably in the minority of wrestling fans that got what Nash meant. Now imagine how small a percentage that was back in 1997. At the end of the day, most wrestling fans either A, didn’t get what Nash was talking about and/or B, don’t care what he’s talking about.

This was the period where the “real” stuff was brought into play more and more and it’s a big reason why things started to go downhill a few years later. Most of the fans, especially WCW fans, wanted to see Hogan get beaten up and the NWO get what was coming to them. The problem was that was the logic on paper.

Then you get promos like this one, where the NWO paints themselves to be the young guys who are being treated badly and make themselves the heroes. It all got way more confusing than it needed to be, and when you make things too confusing in something that’s supposed to be fun and mostly mindless entertainment, your audience is going to stop caring.

As if that’s not enough, listen to what he was talking about: people that took over the business and wouldn’t leave anything behind for anyone else. Nash’s boss in the NWO is HULK FREAKING HOGAN. So not only would most fans not have gotten what he meant, but the ones that did would see him as a hypocrite. Then on top of all THAT, this set up a totally meaningless six man tag which didn’t mean anything and was never mentioned again after Slamboree.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Psychosis

The luchador hits a dropkick and goes up, only to get pulled into a Diamond Cutter for the pin in less than a minute.

Savage pops up in the crowd and implies Kimberly is in love with him but nothing comes of it.

Here are Flair, Piper and Greene to close the show. They call out the NWO and Hall finally returns to stare at them. The B Team gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. What a worthless show. From the Nash promo to the short (longest topped out at 6:01) and dull matches to JJ Dillon being treated as less than nothing on his first night as WCW boss, this was absolutely horrible. Slamboree would wind up being perhaps the most pointless show in the history of WCW which is saying a lot when you think about it. Terrible show tonight with absolutely nothing of value.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews