Smackdown
Date: March 12, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

We’re on the way to Fastlane and that means it’s time for a contract signing. You knew this was coming and while it is coming off of a good match, it is still one of WWE’s more annoying booking tropes. Maybe they can come up with something more interesting tonight but I doubt it. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s cage match with Daniel Bryan becoming #1 contender.

Here is Edge to get things going. Edge talks about everyone telling him to acknowledge Roman Reigns, which is what Edge did when he picked him for the match at Wrestlemania. They were on a collision course but then Reigns turned down Daniel Bryan Boulevard. Bryan has been talking about how he deserves the Wrestlemania match more because it means more to him and he wrestles more in the last week than Edge has in years.

Edge thinks it’s time to remind people who he is, so we hear about the people he fought over his career, which has taken place in four decades. Cue Bryan to talk about how he thought Edge, as the Ultimate Opportunist, would understand Bryan going into business for himself. Bryan does love this and isn’t doing it to get one up on Edge.

Bryan was laying on the mat at Elimination Chamber and knew that this might be the last Wrestlemania of his career. He is going to do everything he can to get there because he might only have one more chance. Edge talks about winning the Royal Rumble, which included Bryan. Of course Edge likes Bryan, but Bryan isn’t better than him.

Street Profits/Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Alpha Academy/Bobby Roode/Dolph Ziggler

The villains jump them in the aisle before the bell and we take a break. Back with the opening bell and Dawkins getting co clean house. Ford drops Mysterio down onto Roode for two but Otis comes in to knock Dominick out of the air. It’s already back to Roode, who gets caught in a tornado DDT. The hot tag brings in Dawkins as everything breaks down. The spinebuster looks to set up Ford’s frog splash but Ford gets shoved out to the floor and we take a break.

Back with Ford in Ziggler’s chinlock, followed by a dropkick to make it worse. The sleeper goes on for a good while until Ford gets up for the tag to Dawkins, which the referee doesn’t see. Roode comes in for two off a spinebuster but Otis misses a charge in the corner. Gable comes in but can’t cut off the tag to Rey as everything breaks down. Rey cleans house and brings in Dominik, whose high crossbody is pulled out of the air. Roode spinebusters Rey for two and we hit the parade of secondary finishers. There’s a double 619 to put the Academy on the floor and Ford’s spinning Cash Out finishes Roode at 12:49.

Rating: C+. They had a nice energetic match here with the finishing sequence picking up even more. The Profits are probably going to get their title shot at Fastlane now and that should work out. Throw in the Academy vs. the Mysterios as a Kickoff Show match and this might have set up a pair of matches in one.

Molly Holly is going into the Hall of Fame. That’s overdue.

Jey Uso is going to see Roman Reigns but Paul Heyman cuts him off, saying that Reigns is a bit busy tonight. Uso agrees to come back later, much to Heyman’s relief.

Seth Rollins isn’t happy with what Cesaro did to him last week but he is intrigued by the idea of Murphy having a rematch with Cesaro tonight.

We recap Reginald having a crush on Sasha Banks and getting fired, only to have Nia Jax pick up the pieces.

Earlier today, Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler took Reginald (because he needs to be on both shows) shopping for some new clothes. He tries on various outfits and she approves, throwing in a come to Mama. Reginald asks how he can thank her and Nia gives him a big smile. Is this the new version of Nia Love Enzo?

Cesaro vs. Murphy

Seth Rollins comes out to watch from the stage. Murphy hammers away in the corner to start and they head to the floor where Cesaro takes over. Back in and Cesaro pulls Murphy out of the air for the Swing, drawing in Rollins for the DQ at 2:19.

Post match Rollins hits the Stomp to leave Cesaro laying, saying Cesaro will never be on his level. Rollins wraps the chair around Cesaro’s neck but referees come in for the save. After Rollins goes into the back, he runs into Shinsuke Nakamura for a glare off.

Kevin Owens runs into Sami Zayn, who wants him to be in the documentary. Owens says he’ll think about it, which seems to be a way to get Sami to shut up.

Edge runs into Jey Uso and asks what he’s doing. The Usos were one of the reasons that Edge wanted to get back into this and now Jey is walking around with his shoulders slouched in misery. What does Jey’s dad think about this? Jey says don’t act like he knows him, because this is a family thing. Edge needs to go enjoy his family now, because after Wrestlemania, he won’t be enjoying anything.

It’s time for the Kevin Owens Show. Owens is ready for Wrestlemania and his guests tonight are as well. That would be Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks, with Owens talking about how much more interesting their match would be if they came in as Tag Team Champions. Only John Cena and Shawn Michaels have done that, but in order to join them, they will have to beat Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler.

They couldn’t do that two weeks ago, which seems to strike a nerve. Owens brings up Reginald, with Banks saying it isn’t hear fault that she looks this good. Belair says he is going to be a distraction but Banks calls herself the Michael Jordan of women’s wrestling. Maybe Belair can be the LeBron James one day but for now, Banks is the b-e-s-t.

Belair talks about her accomplishments like winning the Royal Rumble, but Banks says would have stopped Belair if she had been in the match. They argue about who is going to win but here are Jax/Baszler/Reginald. Before they can say anything though, Natalya and Tamina cut them off.

Natalya/Tamina vs. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks

Jax and Baszler are on commentary as Banks gets knocked into the corner to start. Banks slaps Natalya and walks the corner to take her down. Back in and the stomping is on as Jax implies she is sleeping with Reginald. Natalya can’t get anywhere with a chinlock or Sharpshooter attempt and it’s off to Belair for a spinebuster. Reginald gets on the announcers’ table for a distraction so Sasha gets up there with him. The chase is on, with the distraction letting Tamina roll Belair up for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Does Reginald have blackmail on this company? Belair is on the biggest ride of her life and she just got pinned by Tamina because of the Reginald nonsense. This is such a dumb story with a character who has been passed from Carmella to Banks to Jax. I’m sure Banks vs. Belair will be fine but could they not come up with something better than this?

Post match Belair rants at Banks for the loss, saying Reginald is here because Banks is entertaining him.

Here’s Big E. for his return. He has spent a lot of time thinking about what Apollo Crews did to him and there is no coming back from this. You can’t put the genie back in the bottle because Big E. is going to have to go Old Testament on him. Now it’s Crews taking one so Big E. is taking two. He has to end Crews because Crews wants what belongs to Big E. They don’t need to wait so let’s do it right now.

No Crews, so let’s do the open challenge. King Corbin, in a suit, interrupts to accept but Sami Zayn pops up to say this is the perfect ending to his documentary and runs into the ring instead. Big E. punches him down without much trouble and the bell is going to be after the break.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Sami Zayn

Zayn is challenging and gets kneed in the ribs to start. A headlock doesn’t do Sami much good as Big E. shoves him away and hits an elbow to the jaw for two. Big E. charges into a shot to the face though and Sami hammers away. Back up and Sami sends him into the corner, setting up a top rope elbow to the head for two.

The comeback is on with Sami being knocked to the floor, but Big E. spends too much time shouting about Apollo and misses the apron splash. Back from a break with Big E. making the comeback but Sami reverses a superplex into the sunset bomb. Sami slaps him a few times and that means it’s time to get fired up, with the Big Ending hitting to retain the title at 8:12.

Rating: C-. This was a way to get Big E. back in the ring after his injury and that worked out fine. Sami is so annoying that he’ll be fine with just a promo or two so the loss isn’t going to hurt him. This documentary deal is about as perfect for him as you can get as it’s exactly the kind of thing that someone as loudmouthed as he is would want to do.

Post match here’s Apollo Crews to jump Big E. with a pair of Angle Slams. A steps show puts Big E. on the floor.

Reginald suggests that Nia Jax win the Women’s Title next week so she can walk into Wrestlemania a double champion. Jax is intrigued.

It’s time for the contract signing with Roman Reigns, Jey Uso, Paul Heyman and Daniel Bryan coming out to the ring. Adam Pearce asks who wants to go first and, after Reigns has his chair moved to the head of the table, Reigns says Bryan doesn’t want to do this. Bryan signs the contract and says last week, he made Uso tap, which Reigns never could. Maybe Bryan should be the self proclaimed Head of the Table!

That’s enough for Reigns, who immediately signs and Bryan promises to make Reigns tap too. Jey gets in Bryan’s face because he wants to be the enforcer. Cue Edge to say he likes that idea but he should be the enforcer instead. Edge proposes himself vs. Jey for next week with the winner being the enforcer. Pearce says deal and the big brawl is on. Edge shoves Bryan away so he can beat on Reigns himself, but Bryan knees Edge down to end the show. They might be messing with something here if they aren’t going to deliver Bryan vs. Edge, which almost has to happen somewhere at this point.

Overall Rating: C. They did some good things to build towards Fastlane this week, though there were still some problems with the show (I’ll let you guess which was the biggest). Edge wrestling next week is interesting and I want to see Fastlane a bit more now than I did coming in. The show still feels like the most unnecessary event of the year again, but it should be at least all right.

Results

Street Profits/Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio b. Alpha Academy/Bobby Roode/Dolph Ziggler – Frog splash to Roode

Natalya/Tamina b. Bianca Belair/Sasha Banks – Rollup to Belair

Cesaro b. Murphy via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Big E. b. Sami Zayn – Big Ending

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: February 19, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and I’m really not sure how much more there is to add to the show. Most of the matches would seem to be set, but there is always room to add one or two more things. The main event this time around is a six man tag featuring all of the Elimination Chamber participants. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Edge to open things up. He has a big decision to make and this Sunday, things are going to get a lot clearer. You have the two World Titles on the line but Roman Reigns is being the smart one by facing the winner of the Elimination Chamber. That means there are thirteen possible opponents for Wrestlemania so he needs to start evaluating things.

Cue Roman Reigns, flanked by Jey Uso and Paul Heyman, for a pretty long entrance. Roman says there aren’t thirteen possible opponents because there is one main event. You have Drew McIntyre who is a main eventer, but Roman Reigns is the main event. Edge thinks Reigns is sounding insecure because he needs to face Edge to be in the main event of Wrestlemania. Whomever Edge faces is the main event, be it anyone from Raw or Smackdown.

Cue Sami Zayn to say he’s the real champion because he’s the champion of the people. As Sami asks his camera crew to film him pointing at the sign, Jey superkicks him down. Reigns stares Edge down and hands the title off to Heyman before opening his hands, seemingly in peace. Reigns walks over to Edge and whispers something in his ear (which we can’t hear) before leaving with Heyman and Uso.

Apollo Crews vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Big E., on his couch, is on commentary. Before the match, we get a quick interview from Apollo, talking about how he doesn’t like being told to go back to catering. Nakamura runs him over for an early two to start but Crews nails a dropkick to send Nakamura outside. That’s enough to send him into Big E.’s snack tray, which means the big staredown to send us to a break.

Back with Nakamura hitting his sliding German suplex out of the corner for two. Crews grabs a spinebuster for two but gets pulled into a cross armbreaker, which Nakamura turns into a rollup for the pin at 5:58. Not enough shown to rate but it was just a quick match to have Crews and Big E. out there.

Post match Crews jumps Nakamura again and goes for the steps but Big E. says that isn’t happening. Big E. tells Crews to go to the back but Crews jumps him from behind with the steps. Crews isn’t going back to catering and throws the steps and Big E. back inside. The referee intervenes and Big E. rolls to the floor, with Crews throwing the steps onto him (with the camera not showing the crash of course) to leave Big E. laying. Medics come out immediately and, after the break, Big E. is taken out on a stretcher.

I’m sure this sets up a title match, but wouldn’t it be better to have Crews win, get denied a shot because Big E. has beaten him time after time, and then attack anyway? This made him feel like even more or a loser than he was when Big E. beat him over and over and that’s not the best way to go.

As Big E. is wheeled out, here’s Seth Rollins to say that was a tragedy, just like what happened last week. We see everyone walking out on Rollins last week, which earned Cesaro a big beating after the segment. As a result, Rollins has written a formal protest to WWE because everyone ruined last week out of fear. There are already millions who have embraced the vision for a better future, but the biggest loser is Cesaro. That’s why Cesaro was taken out last week. Everyone should embrace the vision, unlike that loser Cesaro. Embrace the vision. This is really the best they have for Rollins?

Edge comes up to Kevin Owens in the back and says that he understands what it’s like to have to keep getting back up. Owens appreciates that because he has come close to winning the Universal Title time after time over the last few months so now it is all he can think about. They appreciate the idea of facing each other at Wrestlemania.

Big E. is taken to the ambulance.

Riott Squad vs. Tamina/Natalya

Neither gets an entrance, as they shouldn’t for the sake of saving some time. Riott chops away at Tamina to start before handing it off to Liv for some kicks of her own. Morgan’s springboard something is knocked out of the air so it’s off to Natalya to strike away. Riott comes back in for a Codebreaker into an STO for two as Billie Kay, in a Tamina shirt with Natalya ears, comes out. That’s enough of a distraction for Tamina to hit a swinging Rock Bottom to finish Riott at 3:03.

Rating: D+. This was the latest match between one team thrown together and another team who isn’t likely to make it to the title scene anytime soon. Instead, The Riott Squad is the kind of team that only exists for the sake of putting other teams over. The women’s tag division is awful right now, but that has been the case for a pretty long time now. Just keep throwing teams together I guess, because it’s not like the division is going to mean anything anytime soon.

Billie comes in to celebrate with them and gets laid out.

Edge runs into King Corbin, who says he’s the main event of Wrestlemania. Corbin talks about a $39,000 watch but Edge holds up a phone, which tells the time and takes pictures.

It’s time for Ding Dong Hello with Bayley, who says it’s episode dos, which means two in case you’re like Michael Cole and don’t speak Spanish. Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler are the guests and come in through the door, with Jax talking about how Bayley shouldn’t be upset that they took the titles from her. They’re glad Bayley got rid of Sasha Banks, because Banks is such a waste of time. Like, almost as bad as Bianca Belair.

Cue Reginald, who says Banks is like a fine wine and the two of them are like a boxed wine. He thinks Belair and Banks could take the Tag Team Titles so here’s Banks to interrupt. Banks doesn’t like Reginald speaking for him but promises to beat Belair at Wrestlemania. Cue Belair to say not so fast and issue the six person tag challenge.

Bianca Belair/Reginald/Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Bayley

Banks strikes away at Baszler to start and manages to take her down, but Reginald comes in for the stretching and then leaves. Jax takes Banks down so Bayley, in street clothes, comes in to stomp away. Baszler starts working on the leg but Jax misses a running splash in the corner. We settle down to Nia yelling at Reginald about how she isn’t the boxed wine. Reginald starts picking up the pace with the dodges, only to get run over again. Bayley and Baszler beat on Banks outside as Nia catches Reginald’s crossbody. A double dropkick to the back puts Reginald on top of Jax for the surprise pin at 5:05.

Rating: D+. I’m still not sure where they’re going with this whole thing but it’s still weird to see men and women in the same match. Jax losing doesn’t mean anything anymore after how things have been going for her in recent weeks, but this was certainly a strange way to go with everything. Throw in the fact that it might be a one off deal and it’s even weirder.

Cesaro feels sorry for Seth Rollins, who had the chance to come back as someone new but then did the same thing he did before he left. There is time to deal with Rollins later, because Cesaro need to go win the Elimination Chamber and then the Universal Title. Edge comes up and Wrestlemania is teased.

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio vs. Alpha Academy

Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode are on commentary, where they insist that they are not ducking the Street Profits. Dominik can’t get very far by trying to wrestle Gable so it’s off to Rey vs. Otis. That goes badly for Rey as well as it’s a World’s Strongest Slam into a big splash. Instead of covering, Otis hits a splash, followed by a few more, which is a DQ at 1:30 when Otis won’t listen to the referee telling him to stop.

Post match Rey is destroyed some more, including a middle rope splash.

Edge and Daniel Bryan bond over bringing their careers back to life. Bryan appreciates that and thinks Edge can thank him by challenging him after Bryan wins the title on Sunday.

Post break, Rey is very slowly helped to the back.

Daniel Bryan, Cesaro and Kevin Owens discuss how often Kevin Owens has turned on people. Bryan: “There have been so many times. I should have made a list.” Owens says they won’t have to worry about a Stunner tonight. Just worry about it on Sunday. Or maybe two, three, four. Cesaro: “At least he’s honest.” Bryan: “Is he?”

Reginald brings Carmella some wine and tries to hide the fact that he was in the match earlier. She’s not mad, because she knows he’ll do the right thing. Or else. Carmella drinks the wine, deems it disgusting, and throws it in his face.

Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair are getting a Women’s Tag Team Title match on Sunday.

Sami Zayn/King Corbin/Jey Uso vs. Daniel Bryan/Kevin Owens/Cesaro

Edge is on commentary as Bryan forearms Uso into the corner. Cesaro comes in for a double slam so Jey bails over to Corbin for the tag. A few shots to the face mean it’s off to Bryan to uppercut Sami into the corner as well. Corbin comes back in for some knees to the ribs but it’s right back to Cesaro to clean house. Some uppercuts put Sami on the floor but Corbin throws him back in like a good partner. That’s fine with Cesaro, who can’t quite get the Swing. Instead Corbin comes back in and gets Swung into a commercial.

Back with the Swing continuing (now that’s a well done editing trick) but Cesaro gets sent outside and thrown over the announcers’ table. Paul Heyman has joined commentary as Cesaro gets beaten up in the corner, including some choking from Corbin. Uso comes back in and hammers away, allowing the tag back to Corbin to continue the hammering away.

Cesaro finally gets in a shot to Corbin and the hot tag brings in Bryan, which Cole and Heyman ignore to keep bickering. Everything breaks down with Owens hitting the Cannonball off the apron to Uso. Zayn rolls Bryan up for two and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for two with Cesaro making the save. Corbin knocks Cesaro outside as Bryan butterfly superplexes Zayn down, setting up the YES Lock for the tap at 13:07.

Rating: C+. This was fun, though it wasn’t like it means anything other than some minor momentum for Sunday. I like Bryan getting a little push, as they really could go in a bunch of different ways for the Chamber. Bryan is certainly one of them, but it’s not like there is any secret to the fact that this is all about Edge vs. Reigns at Wrestlemania in the end.

Post match the Parade of Finishers is on, with Edge getting in a spear on Uso but getting speared down by Roman Reigns to end the show (note that Reigns just sticks his hand out so Heyman can hand him the title, because that’s what Reigns sees him as being good for).

Overall Rating: C. The reason this show worked out so well was that it didn’t drag. They kept things moving and got to the point, even if they are still trying to hide the fact that Reigns vs. Edge seems all but carved into stone for Wrestlemania. I’m not sure what a lot of the other people are going to get to do, but they had a nice build up to Sunday, which is a nice start on the way there. Good enough show, and it did a nice job of advancing a lot of stories.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Apollo Crews – Cradle

Natalya/Tamina b. Riott Squad – Swinging Rock Bottom to Riott

Bianca Belair/Reginald/Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler/Bayley – Crossbody to Jax

Rey Mysterio/Dominik Mysterio b. Alpha Academy via DQ when Otis continued attacking Rey

Daniel Bryan/Cesaro/Kevin Owens b. Jey Uso/King Corbin/Sami Zayn – YES Lock to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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Royal Rumble 2021
Date: January 31, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe, Tom Phillips

It’s officially the Road To Wrestlemania and that should only be a good thing. The other major positive this year is how wide open both Rumbles could be, which means we could be in for a lot of drama. Other than that though, it is going to be a bit sad to watch the Rumble with no crowd. Let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Women’s Tag Team Titles: Asuka/Charlotte vs. Nia Jax/Shayna Baszler

Jax and Baszler are challenging and it’s Charlotte grappling with Baszler to start. Charlotte gets the better of things and takes it over to Asuka in the corner for an exchange of kicks with Baszler. Jax and Charlotte come back in with Charlotte driving her into the corner and handing it back to Asuka. That means a running splash in the corner from Jax and Baszler starts pulling on the arm. Asuka fights up and manages a facebuster but Jax is right back with a sitout powerbomb for two.

Baszler comes back in but Asuka gets over for the tag to Charlotte so the pace can pick up. A double Natural Selection drops both challengers and gets two on Baszler. Jax is still down so Baszler hits a hard running knee for two on Charlotte. With Jax and Baszler both on the floor, Charlotte hits a moonsault onto both of them but here’s Ric Flair. Charlotte shrugs off the distraction though and grabs the Figure Eight, only to have Lacey Evans pop up with the Woman’s Right with brass knuckles to knock Charlotte silly. The big leg from Jax finishes Charlotte for the titles at 10:27.

Rating: C. This could have been on any given Raw but I’m getting scared of the idea of building up to a Charlotte vs. Lacey Evans match at Wrestlemania with all of the focus on Ric. The match was acceptable enough, but the important thing was the title change. Charlotte and Asuka never should have been champions and thankfully this mess of a reign ended in about a month.

The opening video looks at some famous Rumble finishes over the years and how this can mean a new beginning for anyone who could win. Not bad at all.

We recap Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre for the WWE Title. Goldberg made a surprise return at Raw Legends and challenged McIntyre. There isn’t much more to it than that but the key has been that Goldberg returns and wins titles.

Raw World Title: Goldberg vs. Drew McIntyre

McIntyre is defending and a Glasgow Kiss sets up a spear to Goldberg before the bell. They head outside with Goldberg sending him into the steps and there’s a spear through the barricade. McIntyre manages to get back in and the bell rings, with the Claymore hitting for two at about five seconds. Another Claymore misses and the ribs are banged up so Goldberg hits the spear. Another spear connects for two and a not very good Jackhammer gets two on McIntyre (now THAT is something you don’t see very often). Goldberg misses another spear and the Claymore retains the title at 2:32. And there’s the sigh of relief.

Post match respect is shown and Goldberg says McIntyre passed the test.

Sasha Banks says she is going to be celebrating when she drinks the finest champagne of Carmella’s tears.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Carmella

Carmella, with Reginald, is challenging despite having failed to win the title in multiple previous title shots. An early Bank Statement attempt sends Carmella bailing to the floor and the trash talk starts from there. Back in and Banks takes her down with a front facelock before trying the rope walk armdrag. That’s broken up and a Reginald distraction lets Carmella knock her down and the chinlock is on. Back up and Carmella takes her to the top but gets knocked away, setting up the Meteora.

Banks comes up favoring her knee so Carmella hammers away and shouts about how much better she is. Carmella gets knocked into the corner again and the slingshot double knees connect for two. Two Amigos connect and Banks is thrown outside, with Reginald making a catch. Sasha headscissors him down so Reginald is ejected but Carmella nails a suicide dive. Back in and a trio of rollups give Banks two each, followed by the Third Amigo. The frog splash hits knees though and Carmella nails a low superkick for two. Not that it matters as Banks pulls her into the Bank Statement to retain at 10:22.

Rating: C-. Total TV level match here without the most drama in the world. Banks is not about to lose the title to Carmella, who never really felt like that big of a threat. The match worked out fine enough, but the build wasn’t great and it felt like more of a matter of killing time with a token title defense more than anything else.

Big E. fires up Xavier Woods in the back, saying they need an hour to take their place among the wrestling gods. Sami Zayn comes up to say they’re part of the conspiracy but Kofi Kingston, in gear, comes up to hype up the team. Of note: New Day has matching Brodie Lee/Luke Harper gear.

Bad Bunny, with Booker T., performs his song about Booker T.

Rumble By The Numbers video.

Women’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals, Jerry Lawler is on commentary and Bayley (with COLE cut into the back of her hair because she wants to challenge him after she wins) is in at #1 and Naomi is in at #2. Bayley talks trash to start but Naomi jumps over her and snaps off a hurricanrana (minus most of the snap). A springboard kick to the face sets up the Rear View but neither can get the elimination. Bianca Belair is in at #3 and it’s a spinebuster into a handspring moonsault for two on Bayley.

Naomi tries a powerbomb on Belair but they roll around (as in they do something close to cartwheels without letting to, causing Lawler to say “that’s how I roll”) until Naomi winds up on the apron. Billie Kay is in at #4 but sits in on commentary because the ring is stacked at the moment (her words). Bayley shoulders them both in the corner and it’s Shotzi Blackheart, with tank, in at #5.

Billie tries to offer her resume so Shotzi fires said cannon at her to draw some screams. Shotzi gets in and cleans house as Kay is back on commentary to wait for a better partner. Shayna Baszler is in at #6 so Baszler offers a resume, earning herself a shove into the barricade. To continue the tradition, Baszler gets in and hits a bunch of people but no one has been eliminated yet, though Billie still hasn’t gotten in the ring.

It’s Toni Storm in at #7 and THIS TIME FOR SURE for Billie, but this time time Toni just walks past her. Toni hits some hip attacks but walks into the Rear View as Billie can’t believe how badly this has gone so far. Baszler gets rid of Shotzi and Jillian Hall, with the song, is in at #8. Billie proposes a team of Billie and Jillie…..and Hall actually goes for it, with Billie finally getting in the ring. There’s a double suplex to Naomi and it’s Ruby Riott in at #9.

Riott strikes away at Storm but gets caught with a German suplex. Kay saves Riott for some reason and now Jillian agrees to help them as well, though Riott doesn’t seem interested. Victoria is another surprise return at #10, giving us Bayley, Naomi, Belair, Kay, Baszler, Storm, Hall, Riott and Victoria for a rather full ring.

Peyton Royce is in at #11 but Billie isn’t sure if she should do the IIconics pose with Peyton or keep teaming with Riott. Victoria gets annoyed at Peyton for doing something like the Widow’s Peak and shows her how it’s done. Santana Garrett from NXT is in at #12 and some eliminations are teased with no one going out. Again. Liv Morgan is in at #13 and it’s Oblivion to Bayley.

The Riott Squad gets together until Jillian kicks them down, only to turn on Victoria as well. Billie kicks Jillian out and screams about it so the Squad gets rid of her as well. Rhea Ripley is in at #14 and now we should clear out some of these people. House is cleaned with a series of kicks to the face and Storm is out in a hurry. Victoria grabs a Tarantula on Shayna and with that broken up, the Kirifuda Clutch is good for the fast elimination. Some kicks to the face get rid of Garrett and it’s Charlotte in at #15, though she’s walking rather slowly.

House is cleaned in a hurry, with Charlotte knocking Ripley down twice and getting in a pair of nipups. Bayley and Riott are knocked outside, but only Riott is eliminated as Bayley went through the ropes. Dana Brooke is in at #16 and goes up top for a flip dive onto a bunch of people. Liv’s handspring headscissors is a bad idea as Peyton kicks her out and it’s Torrie Wilson in at #17 (allowing commentary to continue the myth that she was ever anything serious).

Ripley is sent to the apron so Brooke charges, only to get powerbombed onto the apron for the elimination as Ripley seemed like she barely held on. Ric Flair introduces Lacey Evans, in a copy of Charlotte’s robe, who is in at #18. The match basically stops so Charlotte can stare at Lacey and then beat the fire out of her. They fight to the floor (neither is eliminated) and the ring is full of feathers from the robe. Charlotte gets back on the apron and pulls Royce out, followed by Shayna getting rid of Torrie and Belair dumping Bayley.

Mickie James, billed as a legend, is in at #19 and the staredown with Charlotte is on in a hurry. They slug it out for a bit until Mickie manages a hurricanrana out of the corner to drop Charlotte. With no one being eliminated, Nikki Cross is in at #20, giving us Naomi, Belair, Baszler, Ripley, Charlotte, Evans, James and Cross.

It’s Cross getting to clean house and Alicia Fox of all people is in at #21. Hold on though as here’s R-Truth to try and enter the match, with the gang of morons following. Actually Fox pins him to win the title but it’s Mandy Rose in at #22. Fox is tossed and Truth gets the title back, meaning the chase is on again. NXT’s Dakota Kai is in at #23 and hits a bunch of clothesline. Lacey punches James out but Belair can’t get rid of Naomi. Carmella is in at #24, with Reginald giving her water and the required mirror.

Ripley drops Kai HARD onto the apron for the eliminations (referees are right there to check on her) and then gets rid of Mandy as a bonus. Cross tries to toss Carmella but Reginald makes the save, allowing Carmella to toss Cross instead. Tamina is in st #25 and superkicks Reginald, who was saving Carmella, meaning it’s another elimination.

Tamina and Ripley have a staredown, with Tom Phillips lying to us by calling it “interesting”. Belair knocks Naomi to the floor but she lands on her back, meaning the feet never touched. Naomi grabs Belair by the hair and uses it like a rope to pull herself back in (with Belair hanging onto the bottom rope by her feet).

They’re both back in and it’s Lana in at #26. She can’t get rid of Ripley and things settle back down in a hurry. Alexa Bliss is in at #27 and gets to clean house for a bit but everyone jumps her….and the lights go out because she starts becoming the Fiend…..but Ripley tosses her anyway. Well at least it fixed the lights. Ember Moon is in at #28 and it’s a not great Eclipse to Baszler. A double middle rope Codebreaker hits Charlotte and Tamina and Nia Jax is in at #29.

Baszler kicks Lacey out and Jax gets rid of Moon to clear the ring a bit. Jax and Baszler get rid of Naomi but Jax sides with Tamina (family) over Baszler. Tamina superkicks Jax though, with Baszler making the save to get rid of Tamina in a hurry. Baszler and Jax slug it out until Ripley breaks it up, only to have Jax toss Baszler. Lana jumps on Jax’s back, followed by a low bridge to get rid of Jax. Natalya is in at #30 to complete the field, giving us Belair, Charlotte, Lana, Belair and Natalya, but Jax and Baszler jump Natalya in the aisle.

Jax and Baszler beat up everyone else and then throw Natalya inside, with everyone down. We get another reunion between Natalya and Lana, with the former turning on her again for the elimination. Natalya gets Ripley to the apron but Belair dumps Natalya to get us down to three. Charlotte smiles at Ripley and Belair and it’s time for the three way staredown. Charlotte goes after both of them and manages a suplex on Belair. A missed big boot puts Charlotte on the apron though and a pair of forearms gets us down to Ripley vs. Belair.

They’re both on the apron in a hurry and wind up sitting down for the staredown. They agree to get back in and it’s Belair driving in shoulders in the corner. Ripley is knocked to the apron again but she slides through Belair’s legs and a double hair takedown gives them a breather. Back up and they slug it out with the Glam Slam and Riptide being countered. The KOD is broken up as well but Belair ducks a shot and clotheslines Ripley out to win at 58:55.

Rating: B-. The ending is what mattered here as you had two young, mostly unproven stars fighting for the big win and Belair pulled it off. That’s what the point of the Royal Rumble is all about and it worked here. The rest of the match was pretty good but not great, with a few too many goofy/legendary (ok that might be a stretch) entrants and turning on each other spots, but that’s minor by comparison. Belair winning is the right call in a match where they could have gone a lot of different ways.

Post match Belair is in tears as she dedicates the win to her parents. How in the world is she better as a face?

Miz and John Morrison talk to Bad Bunny but get scared off by Booker T.

The Kickoff Show panel talk about the women’s Rumble and the Kickoff Show title change. Cue R-Truth, who is distracted by a possible John Cena sighting. Peter Rosenberg hits him low and steals the 24/7 Title.

We recap Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens for Reigns’ Universal Title. Owens has had Reigns beaten twice but Reigns has cheated to retain the title. The key is that Owens won’t stay down, so tonight it’s a Last Man Standing match. WWE official Adam Pearce was involved as well, as he was #1 contender but handed it to Owens to mess with Reigns.

Smackdown World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is challenging and it’s Last Man Standing. Reigns starts fast with a Superman Punch for four but Owens is right back with the Pop Up Powerbomb for the same. They head outside with Owens being sent into the steps and getting caught with a spear for nowhere near ten. That means Reigns can start hammering him with the steps as they head off to the area near the stage.

Owens manages to get in a shot to the face though and the shot with the steps puts Reigns on a table. A missed chair shot lets Reigns get in another right hand and they fight into the area around the fan screens. They head up another level and Owens gets in a few chair shots to the knees. Reigns is back with some chair shots of his own but gets caught by a Stunner. That’s fine with Reigns, who gets in a shot to the face and throws Owens off the stands and through the tables.

Owens is up at nine and stumbles backstage….where Reigns runs him over with a golf cart (strike up the AEW fans). Reigns makes the mistake of saying that Owens’ grandfathers aren’t happy with Owens, sending Owens into a rage. The Pop Up Powerbomb puts Reigns onto a table and a frog splash drives him through it for the crash. Reigns makes it up again so Owens hits him in the face with a ladder. Owens puts him on a table and then raises a forklift to give him something to use for a Swanton (good thing there was a camera above the forklift for a good angle).

Somehow Reigns beats the count at nine but is down at ten, which is good enough to keep things going. They head back into the arena with Reigns almost begging off but managing a spear through the set. That’s only good for nine as Owens rolls off the stage, with Reigns looking rather frustrated. Reigns says he can’t quit because he can’t go home if he does, and pulls out some handcuffs.

Owens manages another Stunner and handcuffs Reigns to the set, where Reigns can’t get to his feet. The referee gets to nine so Reigns sends him face first into the set, allowing Paul Heyman to come up and unlock the cuffs. Actually hang on as it takes so long that the referee spontaneously stops counting. Reigns finally gets out and guillotine chokes Owens out for the win at 24:54.

Rating: B-. Oh man that ending destroyed everything they had going on as Heyman took probably over a minute to unhook those handcuffs. As usual, this was like watching a hardcore match where your video kept buffering as they would do a spot, then stop, then do a spot, then stop. Reigns winning was the right call and there were some good spots, but the ending hurt it and there was a lot of stalling again.

Men’s Royal Rumble

90 second intervals and Edge is in at #1 and Randy Orton is in at #2. They waste no time in brawling to the floor, with both guys ramming the other into the announcers’ table. Sami Zayn is in at #3 and they fight inside, with Edge getting double teamed. Mustafa Ali is in at #4 and goes after Edge because he doesn’t like Hall of Famers and legends coming in and taking his spot. Fair enough actually.

Jeff Hardy is in at #5 but Orton starts snapping off RKO’s. Edge hits a spear to Orton though and they head outside with Edge hammering away again. Dolph Ziggler is in at #6 as Edge hits an Impaler onto the announcers’ table Orton is busted open as Edge chairs him in the knee. Ziggler eliminates Hardy as referees come out to pull Edge off of Orton. Shinsuke Nakamura is in at #7 as Orton is slowly carried to the back.

It’s Carlito in at #8 as the first surprise return so we can get a battle of the apple with Nakamura. Xavier Woods is in at #9 and goes right after Ali but gets jumped by Zayn. Big E. is in at #10, giving us Edge, Orton (out but not eliminated), Zayn, Ali, Ziggler, Nakamura, Carlito, Woods and Big E.

New Day gets together to clean some house as John Morrison is in at #11. Big E. gets rid of Zayn and Ali dumps Woods but gets tossed out by Big E. to clear the ring a bit. Ricochet is in at #12 and gets to pick up the pace a lot. Edge can’t keep up with Ricochet and it’s Elias in at #13 to clean house, with Graves not being pleased. A jumping knee catches Carlito and Elias tosses him out.

Nakamura suplexes Ziggler and it’s Damian Priest in at #14. The Reckoning hits Elias and some kicks to the face rock Morrison. Priest tosses Elias as we see Orton getting his knee treated. Edge and Priest slug it out but neither is out as Miz is in at #15. Hold on though as he needs to stop and destroy Bad Bunny’s DJ setup. With that out of the way, it’s the Skull Crushing Finale on Big E. Miz and Morrison start cleaning house but cue Bad Bunny, allowing Priest to toss the two of them. Bunny dives onto Miz and Morrison and it’s Riddle in at #16.

A Nakamura vs. Riddle slugout gets the fans’ attention but Priest breaks it up. Daniel Bryan is in at #17 and strikes away with little avail. Kane (looking like he’s just done with this stuff) is in at #18 and gets rid of Ziggler and Ricochet. We get a Team H*** NO reunion but Kane drops Bryan in a hurry. Priest and Kane have a showdown with Priest escaping the chokeslam and striking away.

Kane is tossed to give Priest his badge of honor and it’s King Corbin in at #19. Nakamura kicks him in the face as commentary talks about Giant Gonzalez. Corbin gives Nakamura Deep Six and tosses him out. Otis is in at #20, giving us Edge, Orton (in the back), Big E., Priest, Riddle, Bryan, Corbin and Otis for a big field. The Caterpillar connects but Corbin tosses Otis in a hurry.

Dominick Mysterio is in at #21 and is taken down by Corbin in a hurry. That doesn’t last long though as Dominick gets up and tosses Corbin, sending Cole through the roof. Riddle and Priest slug it out as Bobby Lashley is in at #22. Lashley sends Dominick flying out and clotheslines Priest out as well. Big E. and Lashley slug it out as I’m much more intrigued than I would have expected. Lashley gets powered up and has no idea what to do with Big E., who wants him to bring it. That’s broken up and it’s Hurricane in at #23.

The double chokeslam to Big E. and Lashley doesn’t work (Graves: “There’s a difference between being delusional and having a death wish.”) and Hurricane is out in a hurry. In your big surprise, Christian of all people is in at #24 (Edge is stunned but then smiles) and helps low bridge Lashley out. Christian hits the Unprettier on Big E. (remember: he was #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title when he retired) and we get the big (and rather emotional) reunion with Edge. Riddle tries to interfere and gets taken down in a hurry, setting up Edge’s assisted splash.

AJ Styles, with Omos, is in at #25 and Peles Christian (dang that’s nice to be able to say) in a hurry. The spear drops AJ and it’s Rey Mysterio (with a beer themed mask as WWE is now endorsing the product, meaning Cole gets in a commercial) in at #26. Omos saves AJ from getting eliminated and then pulls Big E. out. Big E. gets knocked over the announcers’ table and it’s Christian vs. Bryan against the ropes. Sheamus is in at #27 and gives Edge the ten forearms to the chest.

Omos breaks up a 619 to AJ and pulls Rey (with his stupid beer mask, including logo) out for an elimination. Cesaro is in at #28 and Swings Sheamus (Sheamus: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”), followed by one to Bryan as well. Seth Rollins makes his big return at #29 and slugs it out with Cesaro. It’s Braun Strowman in at #30, giving us a final group of Edge, Orton (still not eliminated), Riddle, Bryan, Christian, Styles, Sheamus, Cesaro, Rollins and Strowman.

It’s time to clean some house as Strowman gets rid of Cesaro, Sheamus and Styles in a hurry. Edge and Christian spear Strowman down as Rollins is on the floor without being eliminated. Bryan and Riddle strike it out but Edge takes Riddle’s place. The running knee has Edge in trouble but he hangs on to avoid the elimination. There’s a running dropkick to Christian and another one to Strowman in the corner. Riddle and Bryan fight again with Bryan being sent to the apron, only to come back in with a missile dropkick.

Rollins comes back in with a Stomp to Bryan and the elimination, setting up a showdown with Riddle. The Final Flash sends Rollins outside but Strowman gives Riddle a right hand. A Stomp on the apron gets rid of Riddle, so Rollins tells Strowman that they need to team up. Strowman throws Rollins down instead and runs over Edge and Christian. Edge gets to the apron and tries to leverage Strowman out so Christian comes over to help. Rollins dumps Edge and Christian and Edge tosses Rollins…..so Orton can come back in with the RKO. Edge is right back up to toss Orton though and wins at 59:12.

Rating: B. The ending helped this one a lot as I wouldn’t have bet on Edge winning the whole thing. It felt like a genuine surprise and the impossible dream of returning to the top of the mountain can be an incredible story. You can go a lot of ways with that and it was nice to have the Orton “surprise” run in not work for him. Hopefully they don’t do another Edge vs. Orton match, but they can burn it off at Fastlane or Elimination Chamber if they have to.

As for the rest of the match, thank goodness they had Christian for a genuine surprise because it was lacking pretty hard otherwise. There were some good moments but a lot of it felt like going through the motions. The limited surprises they had were just ok, save for Christian who actually shocked me. Overall it’s a pretty strong Rumble, but the Edge and Christian focus made up a good chunk of the positives.

A .7 Rousey sign pointing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a weird one as the Rumbles are both good and I was happy with the winners, but I wasn’t wild on the majority of the Rumble matches. The rest of the card was the usual hit or miss show, but overall this show, like every Royal Rumble, is going to be judged based on the Rumble finishes. Those worked well here and they have a direction for Wrestlemania, though they have a lot of other questions left to answer on the way there.

Results

Drew McIntyre b. Goldberg – Claymore

Sasha Banks b. Carmella – Bank Statement

Bianca Belair won the women’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Rhea Ripley

Roman Reigns b. Kevin Owens – Owens could not answer the ten count

Edge won the men’s Royal Rumble last eliminating Randy Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Royal Rumble 2017
Date: January 29, 2017
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 52,020
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

The aisle is crazy long and would require a cart to bring some of the wrestlers to the ring during the Rumble. There’s something cool about that, on both fronts actually.

Kickoff Show: Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Nikki and Natalya start things off with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me. That means a slap to the face and there are so few people being so quiet that you can hear what the women are saying. Bliss comes in and gets caught with a facebuster for two. It’s off to Naomi for half of a double dropkick with Nikki’s part not even coming close. Nikki and company hit a triple suplex to send them outside, followed by a dive from Naomi as we take a break.

Back with Becky clotheslining Natalya and hitting a running forearm in the corner. They head outside with Mickie getting in a cheap shot to drop Becky, allowing Natalya to snap a suplex to really take over. Back in and Becky gets driven into the corner again, allowing Bliss to choke a bit. Mickie adds a hard kick to the face as the announcers argue over whether or not cheating is smart.

A Michinoku Driver plants Becky but Natalya can’t get Suplex City (Her words. Well Lesnar’s words, though JR said it about thirteen years earlier.). Instead it’s a double clothesline so Naomi can come in and clean house. The still dumb looking dancing kicks drop Bliss as everything breaks down. A kick to the head sets up the split legged moonsault to give Naomi the pin on Bliss at 9:39.

Rating: C-. The lack of a crowd either in their seats or really interested in this one hurt it a lot but the work wasn’t terrible. The women’s division had gotten so much better by this point that you could trust them to go out and have a match like this, though the stories need to be stronger. I’m really having an issue caring about Nikki never getting to marry her dream husband and complete her fairy tale story but I’m not exactly the target audience.*

Kickoff Show: Raw Tag Team Titles: Sheamus/Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Sheamus and Cesaro are defending and there are two referees due to some screwy finishes as of late. The crowd is MUCH better now, making the place look like there’s an actual audience for the show. Cesaro dropkicks Anderson at the bell for two and a gutwrench suplex gets the same less than thirty seconds in.

Gallows loads up a cheap shot from the apron but the second referee catches him, making the gimmick actually work. Sheamus grabs a Regal Roll into Cesaro’s jumping double stomp for two more but Anderson is back up with a kick to the face to take over. It’s off to Gallows, who is quickly kicked down so the champs can take him into the corner. This has been mostly one sided so far but Gallows gets in a backdrop for a breather. Not that the fans seem to care for the most part though.

A big boot knocks Sheamus off the apron and we take a break. Back (after the commercial has been cut from the Network) with Cesaro suplexing Gallows and rolling over to bring Sheamus back in. The ten forearms to the chest have Gallows in trouble and a top rope clothesline gets two. Super White Noise gets the same but Gallows shoves Sheamus away and makes the hot tag to Anderson.

The second referee won’t allow some cheating so Swiss Death gives Cesaro two. A 619 and a high crossbody give him the same but Anderson kicks him down again. Sheamus breaks up the Magic Killer and a referee eats a Brogue Kick. The second referee comes in to see Cesaro put Anderson in the Sharpshooter, only to have Gallows break it up with a kick to the face. Everything breaks down again and it’s a Magic Killer for Sheamus, followed by a rollup with tights to pin Cesaro at 10:28.

Rating: C+. Nice power fight here with both teams hitting each other rather hard. That’s all this needed to be, though I could go for adding a different style in there. Power vs. power isn’t going to work all that well in the long term but at least they had a good match here. These title changes didn’t really matter though as it was all going to change when the Hardys came back. No one knew that yet though and at least we had something good here.

Kickoff Show: Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Nia injured her a month or so ago and tonight is about revenge. Sasha doesn’t have her knee brace on as Nia drives her into the ropes and easily shoves off a headlock. A rope walk springboard goes just as badly as Banks can’t get anything going early on. Jax runs her over and we take an early break.

Back with Sasha trying a standing Bank Statement and having it broken up with ease. Jax grabs a Brock Lock and swings Banks around until a rope can be grabbed. Sasha finally avoids a charge to send Jax into the post, followed by the top rope double knees for two. Sasha comes up holding her knee though and the pop up Samoan drop puts her away at 5:13.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really only served to keep Nia around. Banks is going to be fine after a loss like this while Nia still doesn’t have the big defining win (which would still be the case a year later). There was no need for this to be on pay per view though and it could have easily been done on Raw. That’s never a good sign.

And now, a nearly four hour show. I know I say this a lot but I’m almost gassed just watching that Kickoff Show. There’s really no need to do it this way, especially when you have the horrible empty stadium for the first match.

Completely standard opening video, though they do play in the cool “Remember the Rumble” tagline to show off a lot of the famous clips. If there’s one thing WWE does well, it’s look back at their own history. The rest of the matches get some time as well with each one having something to remember as well.

Raw Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and still has never lost a singles match on pay per view. Bayley gets wrestled down to start as Charlotte grabs a front facelock. The fans seem split here despite giving Bayley a heck of a reaction on her entrance. Charlotte heads outside for no apparent reason, allowing Bayley to grab her by the hair and snap her over the middle rope (basically a Stunner) to take over. A headscissors gets two and it’s already time to hit the stalling.

Bayley makes the mistake of going outside and gets kicked into the steps as she doesn’t have much of an answer for Charlotte’s power game. Back in and Charlotte slams Bayley’s face into the mat a few times but makes sure to throw in a quick pose (that’s the Flair in her). We hit the chinlock with Charlotte’s hair falling over Bayley’s face, giving us a rather odd visual of Bayley as a blonde. A knee drop gets two on Bayley and Charlotte is getting annoyed at Bayley sticking around.

Yet another kickout off a neckbreaker makes the frustration even worse so Charlotte does her figure four necklock into the face plants on the mat. The flips to send Bayley back first into the mat make it even worse as Charlotte is completely dominant so far. Charlotte stops to mock Bayley though and a heck of a slap cuts the champ off. A battle of the chops goes to Charlotte (well duh) but Bayley bounces out of the corner with an armdrag. A springboard crossbody (with a few too many bounces) drops Charlotte again and a jumping spinning Downward Spiral (not bad) does it again.

The top rope elbow (which looked awesome on impact) gets a very close two and you can feel the crowd breathe on the kickout. Charlotte (who might be bleeding from the mouth) kicks the knee out though and the Figure Four goes on. The referee catches her grabbing the ropes though and both women are down. Charlotte is up first but her moonsault only grazes knees to give Bayley two. Bayley goes up but gets shoved off to the floor in a heap. As she gets back in, Natural Selection onto the apron retains the title at 13:01.

Rating: B-. Bayley was fighting here but came up short, which is exactly how her character needs to go. For some reason WWE didn’t quite get this and instead put the title on her two weeks later in a nothing Raw match, ignoring the idea of building her up as an underdog. Charlotte was her usual awesome self here and that makes for a fun match, though the future didn’t go the way it should have. At least the first match was solid though.

The shark cage is lowered. This might require an explanation.

We recap the Raw World Title match. Roman Reigns had come close to taking the title from Kevin Owens but Chris Jericho interfered to cost Reigns the match. Therefore it’s time for a rematch with Jericho in a one man cage (the shark cage) above the ring. Jericho is of course scared of heights so this should be fun. It would be a better idea if they hadn’t done it in NXT not too long before this.

Raw World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens

Owens is defending and this is No DQ. Jericho takes his sweet time getting into the cage (as he should) and is still not in even when Reigns comes out. The Canadians try some double teaming and knock Reigns into the cage all, only to have Reigns fight them off (and the fans are really, REALLY not pleased) and send Jericho into the cage to get us going. The cage is raised like a sexy pinata (Jericho’s very accurate term for himself) and Owens jumps Reigns from behind.

They waste no time in fighting out to the floor and then into the crowd with Reigns hitting him in the ribs with a metal stand. Back to ringside with Owens being bounced off the German announcers’ table but coming back with a whip into the steps. Owens pulls six chairs from underneath the ring and sets up four at ringside, two by two. A monitor shot to the ribs sets up the Cannonball against the barricade and Owens continues to be over like free beer in a frat house.

With Reigns down, Owens sets up two more chairs on top of the four he already had. One more is placed on top but of course the powerbomb and suplex attempts don’t work to prevent a broken back. Back in and Reigns sends him shoulder first into the post before loading up a table. That’s enough to make the fans cheer Reigns (I’m as shocked as you are) but a Backstabber gives Owens two.

Another Cannonball, with Owens mocking Reigns’ spear pose, is countered into a powerbomb. The apron dropkick rocks the champ again as this has been better than I was expecting so far. They’re beating each other up quite well and it’s pretty entertaining, despite Jericho being a non-factor so far. They head outside with Reigns getting superkicked onto a table, setting up a frog splash from the top to the floor in a big crash.

That’s only good for two (well duh) so Owens dedicates a chair shot to Jericho and gets another near fall. A chair is wedged into the corner because wrestlers never learn a thing. Owens scores with a superkick and manages to send Reigns into the chair as I’m not sure what to think. It’s not like that’s never worked before but it’s about as rare as Jericho eating crab cakes and goat’s milk.

With that not working, Jericho tosses Owens some brass knuckles but Reigns blocks the Superman Punch. Roman’s Superman Punch gets two and a Samoan drop through the chair is good for the same. You would think being driven THROUGH A CHAIR would be a big time match but since this is modern wrestling, something that big is now just a regular move. It’s the price you pay for all the big spots and violence.

Roman puts another table in the corner before another Superman Punch gets two. A spear is countered into a Stunner of all things but Reigns kicks out again. We continue the Austin homage with a mudhole stomping and a Cannonball (not so much Austin) as Owens is getting frustrated. That makes him do something dumb, like trying a superplex through that pile of chairs.

Reigns breaks that up and Superman Punches Owens through the pile instead for a very loud crash. A powerbomb puts Reigns through the announcers’ table but here’s Braun Strowman to beat the heck out of Reigns. Roman is sent into the post, followed by the running powerslam through the table in the corner to retain Owens’ title at 23:27.

Rating: B+. This was better than I was expecting and while it feels like a similar ending to Randy Orton vs. John Cena from Royal Rumble 2015, it’s still a good way to keep the title on Owens for the time being. They had a very good power brawl and Owens retaining is the right move, especially with the feud with Strowman getting a big boost. Jericho was barely a factor and that’s a good thing given that they were about to split in the near future.

To really fill in time, we’re doing a countdown of the thirty greatest moments in Rumble history, starting with 30-16 (or 30-15 as Cole puts it). Well kind of as the list is actually 30 facts, which is kind of Rumble By The Numbers.

30. Bret Hart was the first entrant

29. 870 people have entered

28. 3 women have entered and each has eliminated at least one man

27. 23 people have won, meaning 98% of the entrants are losers

26. 4 Rumbles have been in Texas

25. California and Florida have held 5 Rumbles each

24. 507,102 fans have seen the Rumble

23. Rey Mysterio lasted longer than anyone ever at 1:02:12

22. Edge won the Rumble in 7:37

21. Santino Marella was eliminated in 1 second

20. The longest time in a single Rumble without winning is Bob Backlund with 1:01:10

19. HHH has spent the most time in the Rumble with 4:06:08.

18. 46 Hall of Famers have competed

17. 9 Hall of Famers have won

16. Mick Foley entered the Rumble 3 times in 1998

Raw boss Stephanie McMahon mocks Raw underling Mick for Strowman interfering when Smackdown bosses Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan come in. They roll the tumbler so Sami Zayn can come in and pick his number, which of course takes some time. Before Sami can open his ball, Dean Ambrose comes in searching for churros. He gets a number but is off to take a nap until he’s due in the Rumble. After going to a crowd shot of watching this in the arena (erg), Sami gets #8.

Austin Aries joins commentary for the Cruiserweight Title match.

We recap Rich Swann vs. Neville. Swann is the Cruiserweight Champion but Neville has declared himself the King of the Cruiserweights. That’s completely accurate and it’s time for Swann to take a heck of a beating and give up a title that doesn’t belong to him. This is about as obvious of an ending as you’re going to get. They throw in some history between the two with Neville mentoring Swann both in Japan and here in America. That’s better than nothing and more than I would expect from a match like this, even if Neville winning is pretty much guaranteed.

Cruiserweight Title: Neville vs. Rich Swann

Neville is challenging and stops himself from doing his usual entrance because the fans don’t deserve it. That’s a nice touch and makes him feel different instead of the same guy who just happens to be a villain now. Feeling out process to start until Swann flips over Neville and misses a dropkick.

Neville gets sent outside for a dive but is fine enough to drive Swann right into the corner. A missile dropkick sets up a jackknife cover for two and Neville stands on Swann’s head. Neville wants to know if this is it and gets crucifixed for two. Back up and Neville forearms the heck out of Swann for two more and we’re off to the chinlock. The comeback is enough to have Neville take him outside for some whips into the barricade.

Back in and Neville comes up the top, diving straight into a superkick to the jaw. That one looked awesome and both guys are down. Another kick to the jaw and a super hurricanrana sets up a Phoenix flip dive to the floor to put Neville in trouble. They head back inside with Swann hammering away before getting two off something like a Warrior splash.

Neville isn’t down enough that he can’t crotch Swann on top. He also can’t hit the superplex but settles for a hard superkick to stagger the champ. Rich’s spinning kick to the head gets two as Neville gets his foot on the ropes. Swann again takes too long to get up top, allowing Neville to superplex him into the Rings of Saturn for the tap to make Neville champion at 13:29.

Rating: B-. They were beating the heck out of each other in a better than average match. Instead of having Neville squash him in relatively short order, Swann got in some offense, only to eventually not be good enough to overcome the King of the Cruiserweights. This was entertaining, but Neville is going to need some better challengers.

We recap AJ Styles vs. John Cena. Styles defeated Cena twice in a row last year, including with one clean pinfall. Then Cena said he wanted to challenge the champion at the Rumble and since he’s John Cena and one title shy of tying Ric Flair’s record, the match was made.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles vs. John Cena

Cena is challenging and has the black shorts on here so you know it’s a big night. AJ scores with a kick to the leg so Cena clotheslines him to the apron. Cena gets in a few right hands but charges into a boot in the corner to let AJ take over. Back to back knee drops have Cena in trouble but AJ stops to yell at the crowd. A third knee, this time with a You Can’t See Me, misses and Cena is right back with a backdrop.

AJ sticks the landing on an AA though and there’s an enziguri to put Cena down again. There’s a hurricanrana and Cena doesn’t seem to know what to do with Styles. The running seated forearm gives AJ two more but Cena punches him in the face. The Shuffle is broken up though and AJ grabs a wheelbarrow facebuster to put Cena down again. AJ hits the Phenomenal Blitz, only to have Cena hit that hard running clothesline for a breather that he uses when he needs a breather.

Now the Shuffle connects but it’s way too early for the AA. AJ grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb for two more and we get a bit of a pause. They’re doing a good job here of going with the slower pace to build things up here, which is exactly what they should be doing.

The Phenomenal Forearm misses and it’s an AA for two. Another hard running clothesline gives Cena two more but he charges into a Pele to the shoulder. Now the Forearm connects for two more as they’re even in the near falls off the finishers. AJ starts firing off the hard kicks to the chest and Cena doesn’t seem like he’s breathing very well. One too many kicks earns him an electric chair into a faceplant though and Cena is right back into it.

They slug it out with JBL describing AJ as blocking every punch with his face. Apparently that’s fine enough to reverse a right hand into the Calf Crusher but of course Cena reverses into the STF to a nice round of applause. At least they respect some wrestling abilities. Somehow AJ reverses that into an STF of his own but Cena powers to his feet. Instead of an AA though, it’s off to a Figure Four on the champ (because we must praise Flair, though it’s appropriate here).

AJ pulls himself up though and tries a cross armbreaker, which of course is countered into a powerbomb for two. Cena goes up top for the Fameasser but gets powerbombed out of the air. Now the Styles Clash is good for two as the fans are feeling the near falls (as they should with the match picking WAY up in a hurry). Code Red gives Cena two more, followed by AJ’s fireman’s carry backbreaker for the same.

Something like a swinging Big Ending (called a cutter by Mauro) gives Cena two more so it’s time for the big guns. Cena busts out the super AA…….for two. You can see the look of disbelief on Cena’s face and now the fans aren’t sure what to think. The Styles Clash gives AJ his own near fall but Cena counters the Phenomenal Forearm into back to back AA’s for the pin and the title at 24:01.

Rating: A. This took its time to build up and it’s one of the best matches of 2017. Cena using raw power to start but eventually learning what AJ was going to throw at him and adapting made for a great story. He couldn’t win with the mega power move either, eventually having to counter AJ to beat him. That builds on their previous matches and it’s a classic match as a result.

Cena celebrates. JBL: “Man that was good!” Yeah pretty much. Cena heads into the crowd and hands the title to a Make-A-Wish kid because he’s that awesome.

We look at Seth Rollins invading Takeover: San Antonio to call out HHH, who cost him his spot in the Rumble. HHH said Rollins needs to be careful what he wished for. Worry not though as STEPHANIE will be on Raw tomorrow night to deal with Rollins. I’d be terrified too.

Jerry Lawler comes out for commentary on the Rumble.

Back to the Rumble by the Numbers.

15. Only 16 of the 30 possible numbers have won

14. 7 winners are from 1-10

13. 4 have been from 11-20

12. 19 have been from 21-40

11. 27 is the lucky number

10. 1 and 2 have produced 4 winners

9. 1 and 2 have been the final two entrants twice (1995 and 1999)

8. Only one person has won from the same number twice (Batista at #28)

7. Kane has entered the most Royal Rumbles

6. Kane has the most career eliminations

5. Roman Reigns has the most eliminations in one match

4. The World Title has been on the line twice

3. Three men have been runner up twice (Cena, Big Show, HHH)

2. Five men have won twice (Cena, HHH, Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Batista)

1. Only Steve Austin has won three Rumbles

Royal Rumble

Two minutes intervals and it’s Big Cass in at #1, meaning Enzo Amore gets to do the full entrance. We’re just that lucky I guess but the fans are still eating it up at this point. Since everything is bigger in Texas, it would make sense for Big Cass to win here tonight. We hear about some of the bigger names but Cass is going to toss all of them out because Cass is like HBK in 1995. Chris Jericho is in at #2 as his bad luck in the Rumble draws continue (this is his third time as #2).

Cass tosses him down with a fall away slam but an early Empire Elbow misses. The Walls are broken up and it’s Kalisto in at #3 after only ninety seconds. A springboard dropkick staggers Cass and a regular one drops Jericho. Cass can’t powerslam Kalisto and it’s some kicks to cut Cass down again. Mojo Rawley is in at #4 as we’re not even three minutes and fifteen seconds in yet. Corey: “Smackdown Live’s resident blithering idiot.” Lawler: “That’s an insult to blithering idiots”.

Cass takes Rawley into the corner while the other two are down on the apron. Jericho breaks four hours in the Rumble to give him the all time record as Jack Gallagher is in at #5. The length of the aisle really becomes an issue here as Jack takes forever to get to the ring. Once there though he cleans house with the umbrella, including a low blow to a posing Jericho. One heck of a toss sends Kalisto to the mat and it’s Mark Henry in at #6.

Everyone is down when his music hits but Gallagher has enough time to get up and stomp on Jericho by the time he gets there. Gallagher’s headbutt just annoys Mark so he tosses Jack through the ropes (not an elimination). Jack does his Mary Poppins dive with the umbrella and is promptly eliminated. Braun Strowman is in at #7, taking twenty five seconds from the start of his music to get to the ring. Jericho hides on the floor (Jericho: “HE’S HUGE!”) as Strowman gets rid of Mojo, Cass, Kalisto and Henry, the latter after a battle of the giants.

Sami Zayn is in at #8 and is stupid enough to charge into the ring and slug away as fast as he can. Sami stops a charge with a boot but tries a suplex for some reason. Strowman misses a charge into the post but comes right back with a running splash in the corner as Big Show is #9 (to a VERY strong reaction, oddly enough).

We get the big, long walk to the ring where Sami is down in the corner and Jericho is still on the floor. Strowman clotheslines Show down without much effort but a chokeslam cuts him down. Jericho picks now to come back in and is promptly punched down, leaving the giants to lift each other up for failed slam attempts. Strowman manages to muscle Show out though and is the only one standing. The debuting Tye Dillinger is #10 (in the perfect (ten) entrance), giving us Jericho, Strowman, Zayn and Dillinger. Tye goes straight at Strowman with forearms and left hands as Sami gets up to help him slug away at the giant.

They get suplexed down without much effort though and it’s James Ellsworth in at #11. He and Carmella run to the ring (in a relationship that was never explained) but don’t get in, allowing Tye and Sami to pull Strowman to the apron. Dean Ambrose is in at #12 and tricks Ellsworth into charging in on his own where Strowman eliminates him in all of ten seconds. That’s better than I was expecting. Dean gets in but can’t do much with Strowman (well duh) but Tye and Sami get back up to help Dean out. That earns them all running clotheslines in the corner and it’s Baron Corbin in at #13.

That means four on one on Strowman, who shrugs them all away. Strowman dumps Tye but Sami grabs him by the beard for a breather. A Helluva Kick rocks Strowman and Corbin gets rid of the monster after a star making performance. Dean hits a quick Dirty Deeds on Corbin but doesn’t try to eliminate him. Dean never was the smartest guy in the world.

Kofi Kingston is in at #14 and the countdown is on to the cool save. Kofi gets knocked into the ropes and Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes into a clothesline on Dean. The Miz is in at #15 (thankfully with Maryse), giving us Jericho (STILL on the floor), Sami, Ambrose, Corbin and Miz at the moment.

A Skull Crushing Finale drops Dean but Miz doesn’t go for the elimination. Deep Six cuts Miz off as the crowd oddly dies for a bit. For no logical reason, Kofi climbs to the top of the post but gets knocked down onto his chest. He still manages to hang on though and scores with Trouble in Paradise on Corbin. Sheamus is in at #16 and it’s time for some powerslams. Miz backs away from Sheamus but gets caught in the ten forearms to the chest. Jericho gets back up and is promptly Brogue Kicked down.

Big E. is in at #17 and it’s a quick abdominal stretch on Miz, allowing for some spanking. If that’s what he’s into I guess. The ring is getting too full and Rusev (with a broken nose) makes it even worse at #18. Right hands have Dean in trouble but no one is seriously close to being eliminated.

Sheamus gets in a hard knee on Miz and it’s Cesaro in at #19. It’s an early Swing to Miz and a second to Sami. Jerry: “Use him as a weapon!” Ambrose and Kofi are swung as well, followed by Big E. and Corbin but Rusev saves Sheamus from the same fate for some reason. You might notice a lot of names being swung and that’s because there are WAY too many people in the ring.

Xavier Woods is in at #20, giving us Jericho, Zayn, Ambrose, Corbin, Kingston, Miz, Sheamus, Big E. Rusev, Cesaro and Woods. We’re two thirds of the way into the match and over half of the people are still in. New Day beats Sheamus up and Woods has to save Kofi from an elimination at Miz’s hands. A pair of boots rock Miz but he’s not going anywhere yet. Bray Wyatt, with the lights going out, is in at #21 and the Fireflies coming out during the match is a cool visual.

Miz gets the release Rock Bottom and house is cleaned until Woods stares Wyatt down in a call back to Woods being terrified of Bray. Woods is sent to the apron and Kofi is put there next to him. Big E. saves his buddies from Cesaro and Sheamus as Apollo Crews is in at #22. Crews’ standing moonsault hits Miz as this is looking like a regular battle royal rather than the Rumble. Big E. pulls Woods and Kofi back inside but Sheamus and Cesaro get rid of all three of them at once to let the ring breathe a bit. Sheamus tries to dump Cesaro but Jericho runs in to get rid of both of them. Well the ring is certainly emptier in a hurry.

Randy Orton (of the Wyatt Family because reasons) is in at #23 with a quick RKO to Corbin and Rusev. Sami goes up top for some reason and dives right into another RKO. Dolph Ziggler is in at #24 and superkicks abound. The fans are begging for Goldberg to come in and get rid of some of these people but have to settle for Luke Harper at #25. We have five spots left and Goldberg, Undertaker and Brock Lesnar still to go. Harper gets rid of Crews but stops for a staredown with Orton. Wyatt has to play peacekeeper until Harper clotheslines Bray down. Orton breaks up Sister Abigail on Bray with an RKO as the ring is too full again.

Brock Lesnar is in at #26 and now we can get rid of some people. Ziggler and Ambrose are tossed with ease and it’s Suplex/F5 City. Everyone is down and the fans want Goldberg at #27. Instead it’s Enzo Amore in at #27 and I’ll let you figure out what happens. Graves: “THIS MAY BE THE GREATEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE!!!” Brock throws some suplexes until Goldberg is in at #28 for the big showdown. A spear and a clothesline get rid of Lesnar in all of fifteen seconds, stunning both the crowd and commentary at once. Sami eats a Jackhammer and Orton/Wyatt take a double spear.

Goldberg is the only man standing and it’s Undertaker in at #29 to a ROAR. Thankfully he appears in the ring instead of doing the ridiculously long walk down the ramp. Cole: “THIS IS A MOMENT!” Well those are what matter more than anything else. Corbin and Rusev break up the showdown and are promptly eliminated. A spear takes Undertaker down but Goldberg turns his attention to eliminate Harper, allowing Undertaker to dump him. Undertaker chokeslams a few people and it’s Roman Reigns at #30 (imagine the booing) to give us Jericho, Sami, Miz, Wyatt, Orton, Undertaker and Reigns.

That means another staredown and Reigns wins the slugout. The fans are LIVID and call this BS until Undertaker stops the Superman Punch with a chokeslam. Undertaker dumps Miz and Zayn like they’re nothing but takes too long calling for a Tombstone, allowing Reigns to dump him. That earns Reigns a glare to set up the Wrestlemania main event.

Jericho is dead so Reigns tosses him without much effort, giving Jericho the most meaningless hour run in Rumble history. Reigns is left alone with Orton and Wyatt with the double teaming starting in short order. The hanging DDT plants Reigns but Superman Punches get Roman out of trouble. Wyatt is eliminated but it’s an RKO and a clothesline to send Orton to Wrestlemania at 1:02:08.

Rating: D. And that’s being pretty generous. There are tons of problems here, but we’ll start with all the midcarders who were around forever and did nothing. Here are some of the people who weren’t going to win but were in the match for at least twenty minutes each:

Sami Zayn (47:12)

Dean Ambrose (26:55)

Baron Corbin (32:39)

Miz (32:44)

Rusev (22:31)

Those five names combined for one elimination. That’s a crazy amount of time to basically do nothing. If they’re not going to be factors (and none of them were as they were almost all glorified cannon fodder), don’t leave them out there go clog up the ring. It doesn’t do Sami any good to be out there for forty five minutes and do nothing, just like it doesn’t help Miz to be there for half an hour so people can beat on him. Jericho was a potential winner and stayed in there over an hour (spending a lot of it on the floor) but what good is an hour stay if he’s tossed out like he’s nothing after a mere two eliminations?

That brings us to the second problem: the three big names. This match was built around Goldberg, Brock Lesnar and Undertaker (the three of them and Cena are dead center on the post) and they combined to get rid of TEN people (over a third of the eliminations) despite being in the match for less time combined than any of the five names mentioned above. None of them made the final four but they cleared the way for the grouping. That’s some really bad planning and a lack of drama, especially when it makes everyone left look life afterthoughts. Let one of them be there as a dragon for the winner to slay at the very least.

Throw in a lack of meaningful surprises (Reigns was the only name of value not announced in advance) and no nostalgia to be seen (but we needed Apollo Crews and Dolph Ziggler to combine for ten minutes in the ring and not get rid of anyone) and there was very little to care about for the biggest part of the Rumble. Strowman stuff was fun, but after him there was a FIFTEEN MINUTE stretch with no eliminations. This was a terribly planned out Rumble and managed to turn one of the most entertaining matches of the year into something incredibly boring.

Overall Rating: C+. It says a lot when the Royal Rumble is the only bad thing on the show. Other than that, the worst match is…..I guess the women’s match? This show was rather awesome but the Rumble itself was such a mess that it brings the rest of the show way down. This was a good show that cold have been great and I have no idea how they thought that was the right idea with the Rumble. That should usually be the most important thing on the show but it felt like something they threw together here, which really misses the point. Fix the Rumble and it’s a classic. As it is, it’s just good.

Ratings Comparison

Naomi/Nikki Bella/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James/Natalya

Original: C

Redo: C-

Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Anderson and Gallows

Original: D+

Redo: C+

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bayley vs. Charlotte Flair

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns

Original: B

Redo: B+

Rich Swann vs. Neville

Original: C+

Redo: B-

John Cena vs. AJ Styles

Original: A-

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: B+

Redo: C+

That Rumble rating is ridiculous. Most of the rest of the matches are in the same ballpark though and that’s a good thing.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/29/royal-rumble-2017-i-can-go-with-that/

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Superstar Spectacle
Date: January 26, 2021
Location: Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Shahoz Ali

This is the start of WWE’s latest attempt to make it into India, as we are getting a special (taped in Florida, like everything else) featuring WWE stars in the ring with Indian stars. Eventually we could be seeing an NXT India out of the whole thing so consider this getting the feet wet. Let’s get to it.

This is being broadcast on television in India so there will be some commercials included despite it being a Network special. It is airing on Republic Day, which is the anniversary of the day India became a republic (seems like something similar to (I’m aware it’s not the same) the 4^th of July for Americans). Cool.

HHH narrates a video (I know this because we get a Narrated By Triple H graphic) about WWE’s history in India, showing various wrestlers in the country over the years, including footage of Bret Hart with the Winged Eagle belt to show you how far back things go. Various stars of Indian descent talk about what this means to them and now it is time to start a new future. HHH talks over clips of new Indian wrestlers (complete with name graphics as these people are mostly making their debuts) and we’re ready to go.

The fans on the Thunderdome screens are all from India.

We get a video on Guru Raaj, who is a high flier who came from a rough childhood, including being run over by a tractor. Well that’s extreme.

Finn Balor vs. Guru Raaj

Non-title. Balor armbars him down but Raaj snapmares his way to freedom and puts on an armbar of his own. Back up and we hit the standoff so Balor headlocks him down. Raaj is back up with a headlock takeover of his own but this time Balor rolls out and hits a basement dropkick. We take a break and come back with Raaj fighting out of an abdominal stretch. An elbow to the face sets up a backsplash, with Raaj getting up but then remembering he wanted to nip up instead.

Balor takes him into the corner and unloads with stomps before chopping Raaj into another corner. The Sling Blade connects but the shotgun dropkick is countered with an enziguri for two. A bunch of kicks, capped off by a jumping shot to the head, sets up a high crossbody for two. That’s enough for Ali to remember that he’s on commentary and actually say something, but the shotgun dropkick quiets him down all over again. The Coup de Grace into 1916 finishes Raaj at 10:39.

Rating: C. All things considered, this was not bad at all. Raaj has not been training long (a year, which is nothing in wrestling) and while he looked a little unsure and rough at times, he certainly did not embarrass himself. There is no shame in losing to a former World Champion so this went as well as could be expected and gives me hope for what we’re going to be seeing.

We get a post match handshake (side note: I’m not sure if it’s the new 8k cameras, but there have been some shots that look like they’re in either a movie or a video game and they’re messing me up every single time).

We meet Giant Zanjeer, who, like many others on this show, was trained by Great Khali. He thinks if he trains hard, he can be champion too.

We meet Dilshar Shanky, who is 7’ tall and wants to do this for his parents.

Rey Mysterio/Giant Zanjeer/Dilsher Shanky/Ricochet vs. Cesaro/King Corbin/Shinsuke Nakamura/Dolph Ziggler

So Nakamura is a heel again (or at least he’s teaming with them) and Ziggler isn’t even in there with his regular partner? Shanky goes 7’ and is the second tallest member of the team, after the 7’2 Zanjeer. Well that should get them noticed somewhere. Ziggler goes for Shanky’s leg to start and is tossed into the corner without much trouble. Nakamura tries a cheap shot and is thrown into the corner for the big running splash. Zanjeer comes in, tosses Corbin onto the pile, and adds a chop. Cesaro thinks better of fighting both giants on his own and we take a break.

Back with Cesaro throwing Mysterio back inside and handing it off to Nakamura, who sends Mysterio into the corner. Corbin gets in a few shots and brings Ziggler back in as they take turns on Ziggler. All of the villains get together to knock the giants and Ricochet to the floor but Rey manages to hurricanrana Corbin into the corner. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Ricochet, who grabs a spinning suplex. The standing shooting star gets two on Ziggler, who is right back with the Zig Zag.

Ricochet slips away and brings in Zanjeer, who cleans house with some big shoulders. Shanky comes back in and drops and elbow for two but gets swarmed by everyone else. Everything breaks down and Zanjeer throws Ricochet onto the pile on the floor. Cesaro dumps Zanjeer to the floor but gets booted in the face by Shanky. That sets up the 619 and the splash off of Shanky’s shoulders lets Rey pin Cesaro at 9:58.

Rating: C+. Again, this worked because they aren’t letting these guys out of their comfort zones. The giants are going to be limited because they’re so big, but they didn’t do anything outside of standard big man stuff. The key to that is the did the basic stuff well, which is WAY better than trying something complicated and screwing it up. They got in, did their stuff well, and got out to let the veterans do the main work. This went well and the giants looked pretty good at what they were doing.

Rey and Ricochet get on the giants’ shoulders to celebrate.

WWE is working with a charity to help girls get scholarships. Nothing wrong with that.

Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns aren’t happy but wish us a happy Republic Day.

Video on Jeet Rama, whose grandfather was a wrestler and apparently has been with WWE for a good many years without ever making it to television.

AJ Styles vs. Jeet Rama

Omos is here with AJ. Rama is a multiple time national champion in some form of grappling and has some size to him (not a giant, but fairly tall and has some muscle on him). AJ goes for the arm to start but gets taken into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. Rama’s armbar is broken up with a shot to the head and AJ knocks him to the floor for the slingshot forearm.

We take a break and come back with AJ holding a chinlock as Cole says Rama is following in the footsteps of stars like Runjin Singh. Rama gets in a pair of suplexes for two but AJ catches him on top for a drop onto the turnbuckle. It’s too early for the Styles Clash so AJ settles for the Calf Crusher. The hold stays on for a good bit until Rama manages to drive AJ’s head into the mat for the break. Rama gets in a belly to belly but Omos breaks up a belly to belly superplex. The Phenomenal Forearm finishes at 11:42.

Rating: C. You can tell that Rama has a lot more experience and a style that works for him, but the match was only ok. The lack of even a limp after spending that long in the Calf Crusher didn’t help, but Omos interfering to (possibly) save Styles worked. Perfectly watchable match as this show continues to work out well.

Post match, AJ and Omos give Rama some applause.

Video on Indus Sher, who you might remember from a very brief run as a monster team in NXT. One of them was on a popular TV show and the other was a professional baseball player and the subject of the movie Million Dollar Arm.

Big E. and Xavier Woods to introduce a Bollywood dance but here are the Street Profits to help them. The four of them introduce a musical dance troupe for a pretty cool performance. More men and women dance in the ring with the rest of the troupe joining them. This looked rather awesome.

Great Khali, surrounded by I’m assuming his students, says what sounds like something positive.

Charlotte/Sareena Sandhu vs. Bayley/Natalya

Bayley and Sandhu have the same trainer. Charlotte’s gear is in the colors of the Indian flag and she shrugs off Natalya’s wristlock to start. Bayley comes in so Charlotte sends both of them into the corner. It’s off to Sandhu for a double high crossbody and stereo baseball slides put Bayley and Natalya on the floor as we take a break (with Charlotte and Sandhu dancing a bit).

Back with Charlotte suplexing Bayley and hitting the backbreaker into the Downward Spiral into the corner. Sandhu gets two off a butterfly suplex and a small package gets the same on Natalya. Bayley offers a distraction though and Natalya kicks Sandhu to the floor. The leglock has Sandhu in trouble but she reverses into one of her own. That’s enough to bring Bayley in for the save and she knocks Charlotte off the apron for a bonus. Charlotte kicks Bayley in the face but Natalya clotheslines Sandhu down. The Sharpshooter goes on but Charlotte makes the save with Natural Selection, giving Sandhu the pin at 6:08.

Rating: C-. Probably the weakest match of the night but it’s not like it was anything bad. Natalya isn’t going to give up anything by taking a fall here and it gives Sandhu a little credibility. They kept this moving and the match worked out fine enough and it’s ok that Sandhu needed a bit of help to pin Natalya.

Video on Kavita Devi, who had to miss the show due to a family emergency in India. She has been in a few battle royals and the Mae Young Classics and wants to be a role model in India.

Here’s Ric Flair (they really will put him on anything) to say how cool it is to have this many fans from India here and wishes everyone a happy Republic Day.

Jinder Mahal/Bollywood Boyz vs. Drew McIntyre/Indus Sher

McIntyre’s entrance cuts off Mahal’s usual speech. Drew says he’s glad to have Mahal back but you NEVER interrupt Ric Flair. Mahal has a nice three man team but McIntyre has his own three man band of destruction and introduces Indus Sher, who are about McIntyre’s size. McIntyre and Mahal (now mostly bald) start things off but it’s off to Sunil Singh, who hits McIntyre in the face.

That goes very badly for him and it’s off to Rinku for a big elbow. Saurav comes in for a World’s Strongest Slam so Samir comes in to get beaten up as well. Samir is tossed over the top and onto Sunil and it’s the good guys clearing the ring as we take a break. Back with Samir slipping over Rinku’s back and hammering away before handing it off to Mahal. Rinku goes shoulder first into the post and Sunil gets two off a top rope elbow.

Samir’s armbar doesn’t exactly work so he tries to pull on Rinku’s leg instead. Mahal has some more luck with the armbar but he makes the misatke of going after Saurav, allowing Rinku to get in a shot to the face. The hot tag bring in McIntyre to clean house but a jumping knee cuts off the Claymore. Saurav comes in and wrecks the Boyz, leaving McIntyre to Claymore Mahal. A side slam/middle rope elbow combination (the replay was quite the relief as I had thought it was a horribly missed legdrop) finishes Sunil at 9:04.

Rating: C. They had the more experienced guys in the main event here and that was a good idea as it felt like a better match all around. McIntyre and Mahal having enough of a history worked out well and it means something to have Mahal in there, just due to the success that he had. Perfectly fine main event here and McIntyre being in there makes sense as one of the faces of the company.

A bunch of people and the dance troupe come out to applaud to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I’d call this a rather nice success as the whole point was just getting a little sample of what you could see in an NXT India. The wrestlers need a lot of experience (which is where a Performance Center can come into play) but they were far from terrible here. Granted it helps to be in there with some of the best workers in WWE, but that’s the exact right idea. Have some veterans in there who can keep things as under control as possible. It’s not a great show on its own, but it did what it was supposed to do and felt cool. There is a long way to go, but for a start, it worked out well.

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Royal Rumble 2015
Date: January 25, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 17,164
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Back with Cesaro holding Kofi in a chinlock but Kingston comes back with a dropkick to Kidd. Big E. starts cleaning house with clotheslines and the fans are REALLY not pleased. Cesaro charges into a Rock Bottom (well close enough to one) out of the corner for two. Kidd is sent to the floor for a flip dive from Kofi, followed by Big E. spearing Cesaro through the ropes for a big crash.

New Age Outlaws vs. Ascension

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Miz

The Usos are defending but Mizdow is the most over guy in the match. Speaking of things that have changed a lot in a year. The Usos took the titles from Miz/Mizdow to close out 2014 so this is the rematch. Jey and Miz get things going and the fans already want Mizdow. Something like a top rope Demolition Decapitator gets two on Miz as Cole recap Miz trying to get Naomi on their side with promises of Hollywood fame.

Anyway, Jimmy gets away and tags in Jey to take over with the running Umaga Attack in the corner but Miz grabs a DDT for two. Everything breaks down and both Usos hit a dive to take out both challengers, though Jey almost misses Miz, drawing a rather rude chant from the fans.

The pre-show panel chats a bit and we look at the pre-show match.

Wrestlemania ad. I had forgotten how much I hated that theme song.

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

Fandango says no one understands the power of the tango.

YES, Daniel Bryan thinks he can get back to the main event of Wrestlemania.

We recap the triple threat for the World Title. Rollins tried to cash in Money in the Bank on Lesnar at Night of Champions while Cena was challenging, triggering a feud between Rollins and Cena. Tonight they both get their shot in what should be awesome.

WWE World Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins vs. Brock Lesnar

Rating: A. Good grief what a battle. This was the night where Rollins became a star and people knew that he was going to be champion soon. Cena put in his normal amazing performance here as well, but good night Brock looked like a monster. This is the beast that WWE wanted to build up for someone to take down and it worked perfectly here. Just outstanding action here with all three looking like they had been through a war. This was the instant match of the year leader and it would take something special to knock it off.

Brock walks off as the medics are stunned.

Rumble By The Numbers video.

Royal Rumble

Ziggler superkicks the giants and takes them both down with the running DDT. Barrett is sent to the apron and superkicked out but Ziggler gets caught in the Cesaro Swing. Cesaro sends him to the apron but Dolph gets him to the apron for a superkick and an elimination, only to have Big Show and Kane put Ziggler out. That also gives Kane the all time record for Rumble eliminations.

Rock poses with Reigns and the fans STILL boo. The Authority comes out to glare a lot as Reigns celebrates and points at the sign to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. New Day

Original: B

Redo: B-

Ascension vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos

Original: C-

Redo: C-

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

Original: D-

Redo: D

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Original: A

Redo: A

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: D

How in the world did I add that one up last year?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2015/01/25/royal-rumble-2015-more-teasing-than-a-15-year-old-on-prom-night/

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Royal Rumble 2015
Date: January 25, 2015
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Pre-Show: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

The opening video talks about wanting to have your moment and being the one. We transition into a video on the triple threat and how everyone is fighting for the title.

New Age Outlaws vs. Ascension

We recap Sting debuting on Raw and staring down the Authority, allowing Cena to pin Rollins to save his spot in the title match tonight and get Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback their jobs back.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow

The expert panel (Booker T., Corey Graves and Alex Riley) talk about the show so far.

We look at the pre-show match.

Bella Twins vs. Paige/Natalya

This is the Total Divas match over who are the real stars of the show. Paige throws Nikki down to start as JBL says the Bellas have been twins their whole life. Off to Brie who walks into a double suplex, allowing the slow crawling cover from Paige. Natalya comes back in and slams Brie down before the Bellas start choking to take over.

Stardust talks about the Cosmic Key and Goldust breathes a lot.

Rusev will crush everyone at Wrestlemania.

Fandango says everyone underestimates the power of the tango.

Daniel Bryan thinks he can make it back to the main event of Wrestlemania this year. YES he does.

We recap Lesnar vs. Cena vs. Rollins. Cena had defeated Orton to earn a title shot against Lesnar but the Authority added Rollins to the match to thank him for bringing them back. Rollins has started to stand up to Lesnar and even Curb Stomped him, meaning Lesnar wants to kill him too.

WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins

Everyone is down again but Cena grabs the STF, only to have the Stooges come in for the save. Rollins plays Reigns in a Triple Bomb as a stretcher comes out for Lesnar. Cena kicks out at two so Rollins grabs the briefcase, only to miss the charge and fly out to the floor. The Stooges take a double AA and Rollins gets the single version but kicks out at two. We cut back to Lesnar who says he wants to stay out here. Cole says Lesnar has at least a broken rib. Rollins enziguris Cena down and the Curb Stomp connects for another near fall.

Rollins busts out a Phoenix Splash but Lesnar CHARGES back in for some German suplexes as Beast Mode is on. Seth flips out of a German though and knocks Lesnar silly with the briefcase, only to have Lesnar pop up with an F5 to counter the Curb Stomp onto the briefcase to retain the title at 22:45.

Rumble by the numbers.

Royal Rumble

Daniel breaks it up with a top rope dropkick and unleashes more kicks, only to have Bray pop up and dump him out far earlier than I was expecting. Goldust is in at #16 as the crowd is just dead. Stardust tries to throw out Goldust (with Cole mentioning that Goldust was eliminated by his brother last year, despite saying Stardust was in his first Rumble. Like I said, splitting hairs) but Goldust saves himself. The fans start chanting for Bryan and them switch to booing.

Kofi Kingston is in at #17, giving us Kingston, Goldust, Stardust, Rusev and Wyatt. Bray catapults him over the top but Kofi skins the cat and comes back in with a springboard shot to the head. Everyone gets into one corner until Adam Rose is in at #18. You can hear every word of the songs now as the crowd just does not care at the moment. Kofi is thrown out but the Rosebuds catch him and walk him back to the apron. Rusev dumps Rose and Kofi a few seconds later and Roman Reigns is in at #19 to a lot less booing than I was expecting.

Ambrose dropkicks Wyatt up against the ropes and Bad News Barrett gets lucky #27. The ring is getting full but no one is in any real danger of being eliminated. Cesaro is in at #28 and joins the fray. Rusev sends Big E. to the apron and then kicks him out to clear the ring a bit. Big Show is in at #29 and everyone stops to stare him down. They all gang up on him but Show shoves everyone down as Kane chokeslams Ambrose. Show does the same to Reigns before the monsters dump Ryback with ease.

Swagger is dumped by the power team as well, tying Kane for the all time record at 39 eliminations. Dolph Ziggler is in at #30, giving us a final group of Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Kane, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro, Big Show and Ziggler. Dolph has to fight out of the chokeslam from Big Show and dumps Barrett. Cesaro swings Dolph around and gets him to the apron, only to be pulled out for the elimination. Ziggler goes up top and dives right into the KO Punch, allowing Kane and Show to easily dump him, giving Kane the all time eliminations record.

The Authority comes out as Rock poses with Reigns before letting Reigns point at the sign to end the show.

Results

Ascension b. New Age Outlaws – Fall of Man to Gunn

Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdow – Superfly Splash to Miz

Bella Twins b. Paige/Natalya – Forearm to the face

Brock Lesnar b. Seth Rollins and John Cena – F5 to Rollins

Roman Reigns won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Big Show and Kane

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Attendance: 18,121
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The opening video is of course about going to Wrestlemania.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry

Long video on Cena and all the stuff he does for WWE. The man is insanely committed to that company.

Divas of Doom/Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Kelly Kelly

We recap Ryder getting hurt at the hands of Kane. This was during the period where Ryder went from one of the hottest things in the company and US Champion to a rag doll that Kane destroyed over and over and over in the span of a few weeks until his push was completely destroyed. Eve blamed Cena for Ryder having his back broken for some reason.

Kane vs. John Cena

BE A STAR!

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

This is right after Brodus redebuted as the Funkasaurus so he was still a new character at this point. Brodus dances a lot, Drew punches him in the corner, Brodus headbutts him and hits the cross body (called WHAT THE FUNK) for the pin in about a minute.

Buy Slim Jims! For the troops!

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Punk finally gets his hands on Ziggler and puts on an abdominal stretch, complete with a wrapped toe and slicking back his hair ala Ziggler. Dolph heads to the floor and gets taken out by a suicide dive but shoves Punk off the top rope once they get back inside. Ziggler drops about eight elbows in a row and a jumping version gets two. We hit the chinlock with Ziggler cranking on the head way more than necessary.

Rating: B+. This took awhile to get going as we were all waiting on the Ace stuff. The feud would go on for weeks until Jericho finally showed up to give Punk someone with charisma to feud with. The near falls at the end were a lot better than Ace, but it occurs to me that this was pretty much the same match he had last year. Good stuff though.

Rumble by the Numbers:

30 Superstars

1 winner

31 Hall of Famers in the Rumble

21 main events those Hall of Famers have been in at Wrestlemania

695 entrants who have been eliminated

39 entrants eliminated by Michaels, a record (Kane is second at 35)

13 consecutive Rumbles for Kane

11 eliminations for Kane in 2001

194,107lbs that have been in the Rumble, or over 97 tons, or 430 Big Show

421,883 people who have attended the Rumble

62:12 Rey Mysterio spent in the Rumble in 2006, a record

3 wins for Austin

1 second that Santino lasted in 2009

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

1, the entrant that has produced the same amount of winners as #30 at two each

27, the entrant with more winners than any other at four

55 percent of winners that have won the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Ricardo takes Cody down and pounds away before proposing an alliance with Foley of all people. They actually do team up and toss Gabriel, allowing Ricardo to do a CM Punk knee slide. We keep the comedy going with Santino at #9 and Ricardo runs from the Cobra. Santino beats on Ricardo and literally rolls him around the ring before pulling his trunks up and tossing Rodriguez.

Kofi Kingston is #11 and hits a double springboard clothesline before hitting a double Boom Drop. In at #12 is Jerry Lawler (Cole: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”) and he causes Miz to hit Cody by mistake. Lawler speeds things up and hits the middle rope punch with the lowered strap, only to be put out by Cody. Ezekiel Jackson is #13 and gets to do the usual power moves on each guy while the others lay around.

Jinder Mahal is #14 and the fans start chanting USA, even though the only two Americans in this match are Rhodes and Miz. Great Khali comes in at #15 and Mahal panics. Everyone gets chops and Mahal is out in just a few seconds. Jackson tries to pound away and is put out almost immediately as well. Hunico is #16 on that stupid bicycle of his and hits a spinning cross body on Miz and his Angle Slam on Cody.

Sheamus is #22 to give us some A level star power. Well maybe B+ level. Things speed up with Sheamus destroying everyone and tossing Kofi out. There are the ten forearms in the ropes to Cody and ten to Miz as well. The Zig Zag is countered and Road Dogg is another surprise return at #23. He gets to clean house for a bit and earns a “you still got it” chant. In far less than 90 seconds, Jey Uso is #24.

Rating: A-. This is one of those Rumbles that is great fun as you watch it live but it loses some steam on a second viewing. They spent a bit too much time on nostalgia and funny ideas here but they were still really good ideas. The ending with Sheamus and Jericho ROCKED and I have no idea why they never got to have a long PPV match. This is a really good Rumble but it never reaches that excellent level that some of them get to.

Sheamus celebrates a lot to end the show.

Ratings Comparison

Daniel Bryan vs. Mark Henry vs. Big Show

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Bella Twins/Divas of Doom vs. Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly/Eve Torres/Tamina

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Kane vs. John Cena

Original: D+

Redo: D+

Brodus Clay vs. Drew McIntyre

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: B

Redo: B+

Royal Rumble

Original: B+

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

Redo: B

Just like last year, not much difference here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/01/29/royal-rumble-2012/

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Royal Rumble 2012
Date: January 29, 2012
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Booker T

The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight, even with the Elimination Chamber being in a month and messing things up all over again. The even money is on either Jericho, Orton or Sheamus as the dark horse. This probably marks the only time that he’s ever been considered dark in his life but it’s a special occasion. Oh and there are two world title matches tonight too if you care about that sort of thing. Let’s get to it.

Now we’ve been promised a great main event here tonight. They wouldn’t lie to us. Not a wrestling company.

The opening video is your usual one for something like this: everyone saying they want to go to the Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show vs. Mark Henry

It says a lot when the Smackdown main event is opening the show. It’s been like 2 years since they’ve gotten a main event. Anyway, Bryan is the champion in case the zombie apocalypse has occurred and you have no access to finding out who champion was and you’ve somehow found my flash drive. Henry legit injured his knee on Smackdown so it should be interesting to see if he does much tonight.

Pin, submission or escape to win. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Bryan goes for a quick escape but the monsters pull him down. Show takes Henry down with a quick shoulder block and then splashes him against the cage. He does it again but I guess he’s not Bobby Lashley as the cage doesn’t break, even on the third attempt. Bryan tries to escape but Show makes the save.

Show takes over and throws Bryan into the cage. The big punch hits the cage and Bryan goes after….the leg. That works about as it does every time you go after a giant’s leg and Show rams him into various things. Bryan kicks him in the knee to take him down and then goes after Bryan. Danny calls for the door to be open but Henry goes for the save. Show kicks Henry in the face to take over again.

Bryan gets thrown into the cage a bunch of times and a hard slam puts him down. Henry comes back as we’re into the regular formula of one guy stays down while the others fight. Mark misses a charge into the cage and Show spears him which Bryan gets two off of. Bryan escapes a chokeslam and tries a LeBell Lock on Show but Henry makes the save. Henry loads up the Slam on Bryan but Show knocks him out with the punch for two as Bryan saves. Bryan goes to escape but Show grabs onto him. After holding on for awhile, Bryan falls down and escapes for the win at 9:13.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and hopefully it gets Bryan away from these monsters. There’s only so much he can do against guys this size without looking ridiculous. They laid around a lot in this but that’s the accepted formula in triple threats. By that I mean one person would stay down for way too long off a basic move but Henry needed the break given his knee. Not bad but it felt like a Smackdown main event instead of a PPV title match.

Bryan does his overblown celebration post match.

Elimination Chamber promo with Amazing Grace playing over Sheamus talking.

Cena video on his mainstream media appearances and international appeal. Basically filler.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Tamina/Alicia Fox/Kelly Kelly

Title defenses? What are those? I didn’t know Beth was alive anymore. Tamina and Natalya start us off and thankfully it lasts longer than their match this past Friday. Off to Eve who I thought turned heel. Eve does her usual stupid dancing offense and it’s off to Beth. Off to a Bella who gets two and hooks a chinlock. Booker actually asks why Lawler likes the Bellas. Alicia comes in and beats on whichever Bella that is. Does it really even matter? Off to Eve and everyone goes outside where Kelly hits a big dive. Beth slaps her way in and the Glam Slam kills Kelly dead at 5:23.

Rating: D+. The dive was cool and this was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in awhile, but is there any point to this division anymore? That’s the first time I remember seeing Beth in forever and the match was an 8 person tag instead of something for the title. When’s the last time she defended it on TV? Based on what I can find, her last three defenses have been at TLC, Survivor Series and Vengeance.

Video on Ryder being injured.

Ryder is here in a back brace and says he’s here to watch Cena beat Kane up. He runs into Johnny Ace who has a personal room ready for Zack. Eve comes up to run her mouth on Ace and calls him vindictive, pompous and a word I couldn’t understand. Eve wheels him into the dressing room.

John Cena vs. Kane

Mostly booing for Cena here. Cena goes straight for Kane but is taken down quickly. The dueling chants begin and Cena fires off punches, knocking Kane to the floor. They brawl outside and Kane goes knee first into the steps. AA doesn’t work as Cena falls forward. Off to the chinlock and the match slows way down. Cena fights up and we get the boo/yay punch sequence. Uppercut by Kane gets two as does a suplex and it’s back to the chinlock.

Cena fights up and makes a comeback but Kane punches him right back down. A corner splash hits Cena but the second is countered by a drop toehold into the middle buckle. The idea is that Cena can’t really hurt Kane, as in the story to almost all of Kane’s matches. Cena counters the smother into a Crossface. Kane escapes and a side slam gets two for the masked man. The top rope clothesline puts Cena down and here comes the chokeslam. Cena ducks it and tries his shoulder blocks but Kane pops up. ProtoBomb looks to set up the Shuffle but Kane pops up and kicks him back down.

They go to the corner and Cena knocks him off. Cena hits a top rope Five Knuckle Shuffle and tries the AA but Kane escapes. Cena goes for the knee and tries the STF but gets kicked to the floor. Kane rams him into the apron and they fight up the ramp for the double countout. I forgot to time it but it ran roughly 15 minutes.

Rating: D+. Very slow match here and pretty boring. The idea that Cena can’t hurt Kane got boring quickly and the ending didn’t help things at all. I don’t really get where they’re going with this, but I’d assume it’s going towards something about Cena being evil but rising above it. Just dull for the most part and the same stuff done over and over again.

Cena rams something that looked like equipment into Kane and they go into the backstage area. Kane is sent into trashcans which doesn’t really stop him. The Big Fried Freak grabs a chair and pops Cena with it about four times. Wouldn’t you know it we’re right next to Ryder’s dressing room? Kane goes in and smothers Ryder into presumably death.

Kane comes back out with Ryder in the wheelchair. He wheels Ryder into the ring and here’s Eve to try to make the save. This goes about as well as you would think and Ryder gets tombstoned. Cena finally comes back to fight Kane but walks into a chokeslam. Kane leaves and Ryder gets taken out on a stretcher.

Don’t Be A Bully.

Same kind of video on Rock from earlier. He talks about his movie and this is just eating up time.

Drew McIntyre vs. Brodus Clay

Remember what I said about filler? Brodus dances and jiggles as Drew hits him. A headbutt to the chest puts Drew down and there’s the suplex. I know because Brodus said suplex right before he hit it. Splash in the corner and What The Funk ends this in 1:15.

We recap Punk vs. Ziggler. Punk has been screwed by Johnny Ace multiple times now and keeps calling him a failure and all those things. Ace has finally said that he’s going to screw Punk as he’s the guest referee. He’s being evaluated tomorrow night so the question is will he screw Punk because he’s got nothing to lose or will he play it fair?

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler

Johnny Ace is referee. Actually scratch that as he says he’ll be outside referee and there will be a regular one in the ring. We get big match intros as we should. Punk gets a nice reaction. Before the bell, Ace comes in and throws Vickie out. My goodness they’re actually following continuity! Punk won a match a few weeks ago that ensured Vickie wouldn’t be out here if you remember that.

Ziggler goes for a quick Fameasser and Punk goes for a quick GTS which both miss. Ace is texting already. They start with a nice sequence of counters and avoiding moves. This is going to be a chess match. Sunset flip gets two for the champ and he tries the Vice but Ziggy gets to the ropes. Punk takes it to the mat quickly and we go outside. Punk gets in a few shots and goes up top back in but Ziggler knocks him off for two. The champ is holding his neck.

Neckbreaker puts Punk down and Ziggler drops about ten elbows, finishing with a jumping elbow for a one count. Off to a chinlock for a few moments. Punk fights up and they slug it out. Ziggler grabs a sleeper which Punk reverses into an Anaconda attempt. Back to the sleeper but it’s not all the way on. Ziggler rolls off and a dropkick gets two. He tries a running Fameasser but gets caught in a helicopter bomb for two.

Punk fires off strikes and a swinging neckbreaker to put Dolph down. There are the knee and bulldog and Punk has the fire in his eyes. GTS is countered into a catapult but Punk lands on the middle rope. Ziggler rolls through a cross body for two with tights. Punk gets a running boot for a delayed two. This has been FAR better than any other match tonight. Punk slams him to set up the elbow but stops because it’s near Ace. He goes up anyway and the elbow gets two. It also draws a Randy Savage chant and a smile from me.

Another GTS attempt is countered by Ziggler and Punk is shoved into the referee. Ace tries to wake him up and Punk gets the Vice. Ziggler taps but there’s no referee because Ace is trying to revive him. Punk lets it go and yells at Ace. Ziggler rolls him up but Punk reverses into a rollup of his own. It would get three but there’s still no referee. John rolls the referee back in and keeps checking on him.

Punk finally shoves Ace and yells at him. Ziggler tries to jump him but gets caught in the GTS. Ace gets knocked down by Dolph’s feet and thinks Punk intentionally hit him. There’s STILL no referee to count the pin, but he’s on his knees now. Ace won’t count so Punk says the next GTS is for him. Punk loads up another GTS on Ziggler but Dolph counters into a Fameasser in a SWEET counter but it only gets two.

Ziggler is back into it now and he pounds away at Punk like there’s no tomorrow. The regular referee is back up now. Here comes the Zig Zag but Punk catches it into a slingshot. GTS hits but Ace comes in and….counts the pin along with the regular referee so that Punk wins at 14:42.

Rating: B. Not a classic or anything but it was by far the best match of the night and a great breath of air to this horrible show. Punk and Ziggler are just great together and in the match, everything made perfect sense. Ace didn’t see who hit him and that it was an accident so he was justifiably mad. He spent a lot of time with the referee but there never was any actual cheating.

Ace hands the referee the belt so Punk can take it. He applauds Punk as well.

Ad for WWE on Youtube which will have 9 original shows apparently. It debuts Wednesday.

Rumble by the Numbers promo.

Royal Rumble

Miz is #1 and he has the AWESOME white balloons to go through. Elimination Chamber is in three weeks. My goodness. Alex Riley is second in a nice twist. Miz takes him down in the corner and Booker is talking about royal jelly. Riley throws him to the apron but Miz lands on the apron. Riley charges like an idiot and is out before #3 comes in. Third is R-Truth and I’m so glad they’re not calling this random anymore. It would just be laughable.

Truth puts him on the apron as well but Miz gets back in. The Finale is escapes but the Little Jimmy is avoided. Truth tries….something that I think was suppsed to be a forward suplex but turned into a powerslam. Miz is thrown to the apron and Cody is #4. Cody hits a quick Beautiful Disaster and then teams up with Miz to work on Truth. Cody takes awhile working on Truth and is thrown to the apron but he hangs on.

Miz takes Truth down with a neckbreaker and Cody gets back in. #5 is Justin Gabriel and he goes up top to take the heels out with a cross body. Flying shoulder takers Miz down and a Blue Thunder Bomb does the same to Cody. The clock seems to be going very quickly. Miz is put down again by a spinwheel kick but Cody gets in a shot to slow Gabriel down. The feuds pair off with Justin and Cody trading chops.

Primo is #6 and unfortunately there’s no Rosa. He actually cleans house with clotheslines and martial arts. He takes all four guys down and never gets hit at all. A NICE headscissors puts Justin down and Cody misses Beautiful Disaster to Truth. The spinning forearm takes Cody down but Miz throws Truth out. Truth pulls Miz out and hits a Little Jimmy on the floor, but Miz went under the ropes so he’s not eliminated.

In at #7 is MICK FOLEY! He, ahem, “runs” to the ring and takes Primo down quickly. Officially there are 5 people in at the moment but Miz is on the floor. Primo charges and gets backdropped out and is eliminated by Mick. Cody jumps Foley as Justin takes a breather. There’s a Bang Bang knee in the corner. Double Arm DDT takes Cody down and Justin helps with the elimination attempt.

Alberto Del…..and never mind it’s Ricardo at #8. In a hilarious bit, he comes out in a rusted out 80s car with a Hefty bag covering a busted out window. He’s in the scarf and tights also. This is GREAT. Justin and Foley are stunned. There’s a Ricardo chant. He runs around for awhile and actually puts Justin out as Foley stands there. Santino is #9 as we’re in the comedy portion of the Rumble. Cody is still down in the corner and Miz is on the mat.

Ricardo comes right at Santino but runs from the Cobra being teased. Santino beats up Ricardo for a bit, gives him a wedgie, and tosses him. Foley and Santino are the only ones left and I kid you not: it’s Socko vs. the Cobra. They circle each other with their hand puppets on and this is hilarious. Epico is in at #10. Cobra, Socko, bye bye. The Cobra and Sock collide and it’s hilarious still.

Miz gets back in to fight Foley as Cody tosses Santino. Socko to Miz but Cody comes from behind to toss him. Miz and Cody are the only ones in now but Kofi comes in at #11 to keep them from fighting. Kofi does the running dive through the ropes into a clothesline to take Cody down. He speeds things way up and hits a springboard double clothesline and a double Boom Drop. Miz is thrown to the apron but Cody makes the save.

A dropkick from Cody puts Kofi down and the clock is already ticking again. In at #12 is….JERRY LAWLER!!! That was a nice surprise and he ducks a right hand from Miz. Both heels go down from right hands and dropkicks. A slam puts Miz down and Lawler drops the strap and hits the middle rope punch, but Cody puts him out with little effort. Still though that was a cool surprise.

It’s Kofi, Cody, Miz and now Big Zeke Jackson with new tights at #13. King is back on commentary and at least he lasted longer than he did in 1997 I believe. Zeke pounds on everyone but doesn’t try to eliminate anyone until Jinder Mahal comes in to bore us #14. Cole tries to make us care by talking about the color of his head wrap which isn’t a turban apparently. He takes forever to get in so Zeke beats on everyone for awhile. The fans chant USA, so I guess they don’t like Zeke and Kofi and are supporting Cody and Miz?

We hit the halfway point as Great Khali is #15. Jinder is a little nervous. I forgot he existed so I guess the Hall of Pain was effective. Khali chops everyone and Jinder is easily tossed after trying to fight back. Jackson goes after Khali but takes a chop of his own. A clothesline puts Jackson out. It’s Miz, Rhodes, Kingston and Khali in at the moment and we’ve had 11 eliminations and 15 entrants.

Cody is dropped onto the apron by Kofi. Here’s #16 in the form of Hunico on a tricked out lowrider bike. Camacho is with him but leaves. A nice spinning springboard cross body takes Kofi down and things speed up. He hits his modified Angle Slam on Cody but is quickly chopped down. We’re about 24 minutes in and already at #17, which is BOOKER T! Sorry but you have to shout when any old person is in these things. Internet policy don’t you know.

Booker hammers on everyone but Khali stares him down. Booker goes at him and is chopped down quickly. The ring is at its fullest so far I believe with six guys in it. Khali chops Rhodes in the corner and Miz throws Kofi to the apron. He skins the cat but Miz kicks him down. Kofi lands in a handstand and WALKS BACKWARDS ON HIS HANDS TO GET TO THE STEPS! That was INCREDIBLE!!!

Dolph Ziggler is in at #18 and goes after the guy that has easily just trumped the wall climb by Morrison. Not much happens until Jim Duggan is #19, getting one of the best reactions of the night. There are seven or eight in there at the moment: Duggan, Khali, Hunico, Rhodes, Miz, Kingston, Booker and Ziggler. So it’s 8 and we’ve had 19 entrants and 11 eliminations. Duggan gets in some shots but Rhodes puts him out with a clothesline to the back.

Khali, Ziggler and Cody team up to put out Booker but Khali goes out instead. #20 is….Michael Cole. There’s your gimmick for the Rumble. And he has the wrestling gear on. How does the screening process for these entrants go? We keep the camera on him for far too long as we now have Cole, Miz, Kofi, Cody, Hunico and Ziggler in now. Cody tries to put Ziggler out as Cole dances around. If JR is in this thing I’ll need a stiff drink. #21 is…..Kharma! Wow she’s back early but they’ve been playing up the whole only two women ever thing.

She goes right after Cole and runs him over so hard the headgear comes off. Cole jumps over the top rope to the apron as Booker and Lawler jump up to eliminate him. Ziggler goes after Kharma who plants her with the Implant Buster. She throws Hunico WAY up and out. Ziggler dumps her but that was awesome. Ok so we now have Ziggler, Cody, Miz and Kofi in there. Good to see the young guys getting their chance.

#22 is Sheamus and the place goes nuts. He’s in red now. House is cleaned with everyone but Kofi getting hit. Powerslam to Ziggler and one for Miz as well. He goes after Kofi as well as Cole gives us stats on the announcers. Sheamus dumps Kofi to get us down to three in the ring at the moment. There are the ten forearms to Cody and ten for Miz as well. #23 is the Road Dogg to very little reaction.

He hammers on everyone in sight and hits the three punches and dance. There’s the Shake Rattling Kneedrop which has a name that I don’t remember. Pumphandle slam takes Miz down and the fans chant You Still Got It. Jey Uso is #24 but Jimmy is in street clothes so it’ll just be one. He superkicks Miz as Vickie screams. The Umaga running hip shot hits Roadie and Ziggler is draped on the ropes. It’s Miz, Sheamus, Jey Uso, Road Dogg, Ziggler and Cody at the moment. We’ve had 18 eliminated and 24 entrants so far.

#25 is Jack Swagger. He and Ziggler hook up and it’s Barrett at #26 with new music. Barrett dumps Road Dogg and gets in a fight with Sheamus. #27, the lucky number, is David Otunga. Well so much for it being lucky this year. He takes forever to get to the ring as we have I think 8 people in there right now. Otunga legitimately won a case in court earlier this week so at least he has something to fall back on.

The ring is pretty full here as we wait on Orton to clear them out. There’s him, Jericho and one other spot that I can’t think of to go. There are eight in at the moment but I’ll wait until #30 gets in to recap them. #28 is Orton and the place goes banana. Orton runs people over and hits a Thesz Press on Barrett. He cleans house but Rhodes jumps him. Orton puts him in Elevated DDT position but has to fight Ziggler off. We get a double DDT instead. Ok then.

Orton tosses Uso then RKOs Barrett to toss him out. #29 is Chris Jericho so who’s #30. This could be very interesting. Jericho goes after everyone and tosses Otunga. We have Swagger, Sheamus, Jericho, Ziggler, Orton, Rhodes and Miz. Here’s #30 and it’s……Big Show. Well that’s kind of a letdown but it’s a good place for a giant. Sheamus throws Swagger out as Show gets in.

The final group: Orton, Sheamus, Jericho, Miz, Cody, Ziggler and Big Show. He puts out Miz and Cody on his own to get us down to five. There goes Ziggler to get us down to the final four. There’s plenty of time left as it’s only 10:37 and the show has been going on a little over 45 minutes. Everyone takes a corner and they all go after Big Show. He throws them off with ease but an RKO puts him down. Orton tosses Show by himself and Jericho tosses Orton.

It’s Sheamus vs. Jericho and they circle each other before going at it. This is kind of a surprising final pairing even though they were some of the early favorites. Jericho is in long tights too. Booker thinks Sheamus winning the Rumble would do something for his career. You can’t buy analysis like this people. Missile dropkick puts Sheamus down. Irish Curse looks to set up the Celtic Cross but Jericho escapes and puts Sheamus on the apron. Jericho kicks him down but Sheamus hooks the rope with his leg. He hits the slingshot to get back in and we keep going.

Sheamus puts Jericho into the apron but the Brogue Kick misses. Jericho gets back in and hooks the Walls of Jericho which Lawler questions the use of but it wore Sheamus down I guess. Jericho sets for a clothesline but Sheamus backdrops him to the apron. Chris hangs on and they go to the corner. Jericho has still gone over the top remember. Sheamus is knocked off and crotched so they’re both on the apron after having gone over the top. And they’re both back in so we continue. This final part has been good so far.

Codebreaker takes Sheamus down and Jericho tries to choke Sheamus over the top. For some reason he slaps Sheamus which is just freaking stupid. Jericho tries to fight back but the Codebreaker is countered and Sheamus sits him on the ropes. Jericho hangs on but Sheamus Brogue Kicks him down and wins the Rumble at 54:48.

Rating: B+. Very good Rumble with a great variety of comedy and wrestling to make it work. It felt somewhat formula based at times but everything in WWE does anymore. It was fun though and it seems that they’re pushing someone new (kind of) for a change which is the best you can ask for in these things.

Overall Rating: B-. Well the final two matches saved it but the first hour of so of this was AWFUL. That being said, the whole point of the show is the Rumble and that was great so I can’t complain about the overall show all that much. A good Rumble can save a show, and it plus the Raw Title match did here. Good show, but only because they have a nearly hour long match to cover up the first hour being awful.

Results
Daniel Bryan b. Mark Henry and Big Show – Bryan escaped the cage
Beth Phoenix/Bella Twins/Natalya b. Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Tamina/Eve Torres – Glam Slam to Kelly
John Cena vs. Kane went to a double countout
Brodus Clay b. Drew McIntyre – What The Funk
CM Punk b. Dolph Ziggler – GTS
Sheamus won the Royal Rumble last eliminating Chris Jericho

 

 

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Royal Rumble 2011
Date: January 30, 2011
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 15,113
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, Matt Striker

It’s an interesting choice for the annual redo as 2011 is kind of a forgotten time. This was something closer to a transitional period for the company as they were trying some different people in the World Title scene, hence why the Miz is defending here. Other than that we need a card for Wrestlemania and things will start here, with the only edition of the Royal Rumble with FORTY entrants. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how winning the Royal Rumble can send you on the Road to Wrestlemania. The big draw is the forty man Rumble, which sounds more long than thrilling.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Edge (in a rare face role) is defending while Ziggler has Edge’s ex-wife (and his current girlfriend, as well as acting GM of Smackdown) in his corner. Since Vickie is rather evil, Edge loses the title if he uses a spear. They trade some shots to the ribs to start with Ziggler hammering him down in the corner, only to get whipped hard into the other corner. The announcers proceed to talk about Vickie, with Striker bragging about getting along with Lawler for a change.

Ziggler gets sent to the apron and Edge slips through the legs to send him face first onto said apron. Back in and a neckbreaker gives Ziggler two as neither is exactly pulling away so far. A boot to the face and a hanging neckbreaker keep Edge down and we’re already on the chinlock. That’s broken up and it’s a catapult to send Ziggler into the buckle, only for him to grab another neckbreaker for two more.

The chinlock goes on again as the neck work continues. At least he’s sticking with something. Ziggler sends him outside, rams him into the barricade, and grabs another chinlock. Edge finally gets up and hits a double crossbody to put them both down. The missed Stinger Splash makes it even worse for Ziggler and a flapjack puts him down again. I love a good flapjack so points for that. A jawbreaker gets Ziggler out of trouble but the running Fameasser is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more.

Edge heads up top, shrugs off a superplex attempt, and hits a high crossbody with Ziggler rolling through for two. Striker gets WAY too excited over a not very near fall, but that’s Striker for you. Ziggler dropkicks him for two more but Edge is right back with the Edgecator (it’s been awhile on that one), sending Ziggler straight to the ropes. Back up and Ziggler hits the Fameasser for two and the fans are getting into things for the first time.

A big boot puts Ziggler down but Edge has to stop himself form using the spear, instead going with the Edgecution for two, with Vickie pulling the referee out. Vickie gets on the apron to slap the already annoyed Edge, drawing out Edge’s friend Kelly Kelly for the catfight. The distraction lets Ziggler hit a Zig Zag for two in a rather hot near fall.

The sleeper goes on but the referee gets bumped just before Edge jawbreaks his way to freedom. There’s no referee and no Vickie and there’s the spear to cut Ziggler down. Cole: “COME ON REF YOU FOOL!” The referee gets up and it’s an Unprettier to retain Edge’s title at 20:44.

Rating: B. This took some time to get going but the drama was there near the end. That being said, I’m not big on the idea being Edge can’t use the spear and then “oh well he used it anyway”. In this case there would actually be some fallout though so points for that for a change. It was a great example of the Royal Rumble World Title match: not an epic, but a good solid match that had some drama before the hero retained in the end.

We recap the Miz vs. Randy Orton for the Raw World Title. Miz cashed in Money in the Bank on Orton to win the title back in November and then beat him again to retain at TLC in a tables match. Tonight it’s just a singles match, because WWE didn’t know how to build to a gimmick match back then either. The idea here is that Miz is in WAY over his head but he’s ready to prove himself on the big stage.

Miz talks about how unfair his title reign has been because everyone says he shouldn’t be here. Riley promises Miz will win.

Raw World Title: The Miz vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging and Miz has Alex Riley (sweet goodness what could have been) in his corner. I had forgotten how annoying/stupid Cole as the Miz superfan really was. It’s also weird to not hear the “QUIET ON THE SET” intro to Miz’s music. Orton unloads on him in the corner to start as Cole wants Lawler to call this one down the middle. They head outside with Miz being rammed into the apron for two and Orton starts kicking at the ribs.

A catapult sends Miz throat first into the bottom rope as Cole talks about Miz being able to brawl if you want him do. Striker: “Who comes up to someone and says ‘I want to brawl with you.’?” And that’s why Striker is a pest. Orton stomps away but Riley, who went to Boston College, snaps Orton’s neck across the ropes to a big pop. A missed charge in the corner lets Miz stomp away and there’s the running corner clothesline for two. Miz chokes away as Cole compares the basketball games that Miz and Lawler are invited to.

Riley cheats again so Cole high fives him as Miz grabs a chinlock. A knee to the ribs and another to the face get two apiece and it’s back to the chinlock. That lets Cole compare Miz to Lou Thesz, Bob Backlund, Steve Austin and DX rolled into one. Ok he can be annoying but when he turns it up that high, it can be a little funny. Orton fights out but walks into a big boot for two. Miz gets crotched on top though and a superplex brings Miz down for two more.

The backbreaker sets up the hanging DDT but Miz backdrops his way out of trouble. Back in and a top rope ax handle gives Miz two more and he hammers away. Now it’s a reverse chinlock to really mix things up a bit. They head outside again with Orton bouncing off the post for a nine count, allowing him to come back in with a Thesz press and right hands. The powerslam sets up the Garvin Stomp and a big knee drop gets two.

Neither finisher can hit so Orton goes with an Angle Slam of all things. Miz tries to bail so Orton clotheslines him down and throws him back inside for two more. Now the hanging DDT connects and the RKO is loaded up, but here’s the New Nexus for a distraction. Riley tries to come in so Orton throws him at the team, leaving Miz to take the RKO. Cue CM Punk, the leader of the New Nexus, with a GTS to Orton so Miz can retain at 19:50. Cole is literally jumping up and down in celebration.

Rating: C-. I’m a big Miz fan but some of these main event level matches just do not hold up all that well. What we got here wasn’t terrible but it also hit a firm ceiling and needed to be at least five minutes shorter. The ending set up something for the future and Orton vs. Punk should be good, but Miz still feels like he’s in over his head. That can make for a good heel, but the matches aren’t often the best.

Miz is stunned that he survived.

Cody Rhodes is too devastated by his recent facial injury at Rey Mysterio’s legs that he won’t be appearing tonight. It was his time to shine but now he will wait in the shadows. That’s the start of what could have been an incredibly awesome character. We wound up getting just an awesome one, so I’ll take what I can get.

Fans pick their Rumble winners. Some of them even gets them right.

Divas Title: Laycool vs. Natalya

Laycool is challenging after Natalya beat them in a handicap match at Survivor Series. Striker doesn’t think much of Natalya, again showing that Striker doesn’t need to exist. Hold on though as we have a message from the Anonymous Raw GM. There are a few changes to the match.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Michelle McCool vs. Eve Torres vs. Natalya

Natalya is defending and it is one fall to a finish. Laycool jumps them to start and takes over early on with Layla feeding Eve in for a clothesline from Michelle. A double Stroke plants Eve again as Striker asks Lawler to politely assess the Divas assets. Natalya gets back up and Striker tries to analyze things in that annoying way that only he can do so. Laycool clears the ring and that means it’s time for the awkward staredown.

That’s broken up as Natalya trips Layla and Eve rolls Michelle up for two. Natalya sweeps Eve’s legs but has to stack Layla on top of her for the double Sharpshooter. That’s broken up in a hurry as Lawler calls the hold a great photo op. Layla’s Layout puts Eve on the floor but Natalya is back up to take Laycool down. Michelle kicks Layla by mistake but Eve sends Natalya and Michelle outside. Eve’s moonsault finishes Layla at 5:12, even as Michelle has Natalya pinned at the same time.

Rating: C. This was a weird time for the women as they were far better in the ring than they were before but no one cared about this and the division was used as nothing more than filler. The wrestling wasn’t bad and there was a story, but you could see how unimportant all of this was in the grand scheme of things. I do miss Laycool though.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan, with girlfriend Gail Kim (oh yeah that was a thing), is ready to go from NXT rookie to World Champion, when the Bellas come in to apologize for trying to steal Bryan last week. The fight breaks out because they suggest they’re better than Gail, with referees not being able to break it up.

And now, the always popular (with me at least) Rumble By The Numbers:

40 entrants

1 winner

24 winners

656 losing entrants

39 eliminations by Shawn, a record

26 WWE Hall of Famers who have competed

183,932lbs that has competed in the Rumble, or 92 tons or 492 Big Shows

2 women who have competed in the Rumble

11 eliminations by Kane in 2001, a record

13 straight Rumbles for Kane, also a record

62:12 Mysterio lasted in the 2006 Rumble

1 second, the record for shortest time in the Rumble, held by Santino Marella

3 wins by Austin

2, the number of wins that spot #1 has produced, the same as #30

70% of winners have gone on to win the title at Wrestlemania

Royal Rumble

Forty entrants, ninety second intervals and CM Punk is in at #1 but here’s the Corre, as in all four of them, to surround the ring and jump him. The rest of the New Nexus comes in and the brawl is on but the GM emails in to say everyone but Punk needs to get out or be disqualified. Can you be disqualified from the Rumble? Anyway, Daniel Bryan is in at #2 for the geek out start. Punk shoulders him down to start and shouts as Striker talks about the internet loving this match.

Bryan grabs a fireman’s carry but can’t get Punk out as the CM PUNK chants start up in a hurry. A missile dropkick puts Punk down and it’s Justin Gabriel (of the Corre) in at #3. That means Punk gets beaten down in the corner but Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Bryan to toss him without much trouble. Zack Ryder, now a cocky heel with some song about a radio, is in at #4 and goes after Punk as well. Bryan breaks that up as well but tosses Ryder at Punk for an assisted Rough Ryder. Not that it matters as Bryan throws Ryder out a few seconds later.

William Regal is in at #5 and Striker is very pleased. Regal and Bryan uppercut it out and the internet smiles even more. Ted DiBiase Jr., with girlfriend Maryse is in at #6 and I’m having so many weird flashbacks to this forgotten era. Bryan kicks at Regal as DiBiase can’t get rid of Punk in a tag match I don’t really need to see. With that going nowhere, John Morrison is in at #7 and of course slingshots in to kick Regal in the head.

Morrison is sent outside in a hurry but he hangs onto the barricade like Spider-Man, crawls to the side, gets to his feet on the barricade, and dives to the steps for the save, inspiring a Jamaican named Kofi Kingston for years to come. As he defies….well something, Regal is dumped and it’s Yoshi Tatsu (with his AWESOME theme song) in at #8. We get some near eliminations with neither going anywhere so Husky Harris (New Nexus member) in in at #9. Striker: “If this kid looks like this at 23, what’s he going to look like at 30?” Eh bigger beard, carrying a lantern, kind of cultish. Maybe answers to the name Bray.

Harris cleans a bit of house and we rush to the next entry, with commentary pointing out how fast it is between Harris’ entry and Chavo Guerrero (the second Smackdown name, after Gabriel) coming in at #10. That gives us Punk, Bryan, DiBiase, Morrison, Tatsu, Harris, Henry and Chavo. Guerrero goes with Three Amigos to everyone he can find, with probably a dozen or so total. Striker: “Chavo Guerrero with a Royal Rumble moment!” Stop, please. Like, please. Mark Henry is in at #11 and this should clear the ring out a bit. Chavo is out in a hurry and Tatsu follows him until JTG is in at #12.

Everyone punches a lot and it’s Michael McGillicutty (Curtis Axel, also of the New Nexus) in at #13. JTG is dropkicked out in a hurry and the rest of the entrants start realizing that the New Nexus is getting too strong. DiBiase is backdropped out and it’s Chris Masters (HE STILL HAD A JOB???) in at #14. The Masterlock (not the Masterpiece Cole) has Punk in trouble but McGillicutty makes the save. David Otunga (ALSO New Nexus) is in at #15 and Punk gets rid of Bryan.

Masters follows him and the team dumps Morrison. That leaves New Nexus vs. Henry and it goes as well as you would expect for Mark, with the team clearing the ring. Tyler Reks (I barely remember him) is in at #16 and goes out as fast as you would expect. Vladimir Kozlov is in at #17 and gets the exact same treatment. R-Truth is in at #18 and manages to last a full minute (including Punk hitting a running knee in the corner and shouting “WHAT’S UP”) before getting tossed out.

Great Khali comes in at #19 for the hope spot and Punk hides behind Otunga in a smart move. Otunga goes at Khali, who isn’t smart enough to pull him out because he’s rather shove him away. Harris gets eliminated though but Mason Ryan (a musclehead from Wales and the final member of the New Nexus in the greatest luck of Rumble draws ever) is in at #20. That gives us Punk, McGillicutty, Otunga, Ryan and Khali but Ryan puts Khali out in a hurry. Booker T. returns in a huge surprise (and the kind that you need in the Royal Rumble) at #21 and Punk drops to his knees in panic.

Booker kicks everyone he can and gets in a Spinarooni but Punk and Ryan get him out. Punk smiles a lot (“WE’RE GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!”)….and John Cena is in at #22. Cena counts all four of them and charges into the ring anyway with Ryan, Otunga and McGillicutty being knocked out in seconds, leaving Punk all alone. The eyes are bugging out and this is one heck of an underrated showdown. They knock each other down in a hurry and it’s Hornswoggle in at #23, playing Barbarian to Cena and Punk’s Hogan and Warrior.

Punk gets up and kicks Hornswoggle in the head, only to walk into an AA for the elimination. Tyson Kidd is in at #24 and gets double teamed, including a headscissors from Hornswoggle and an AA from Cena. Hornswoggle even gets in his own AA and Kidd is gone in a hurry. Heath Slater (Corre) is in at #25, takes a beating, and is out in less than a minute. Kofi Kingston comes in at #26 in a showdown that would be way more interesting nine years later (Daily trivia: Cena and Kofi have never had a singles match. You would think it would have happened in a one off at some point).

Kofi and Cena knock each other down and it’s Jack Swagger in at #27 to not do much, meaning it’s King Sheamus in at #28. Hornswoggle kicks him in the leg and gets Brogue Kicked out so Sheamus and Swagger can beat up the heroes. Rey Mysterio is in at #29 to pick up the pace and knock down everyone not named Sheamus, who blasts him with a clothesline. Trouble in Paradise puts Sheamus down instead and a 619 eliminates Swagger. Wade Barrett (the Corre’s leader) is in at #30, giving us Cena, Kingston, Sheamus, Mysterio and Barrett for a nice talent pool.

Kofi stomps Barrett down in the corner and it’s a banged up Dolph Ziggler in at #31. Mysterio saves Cena from being eliminated (with commentary talking about how smart he is to know you need friends in a match like this)….and DIESEL is in at #32 to a huge pop, which wound up wrecking a major storyline later in the year (Who would have called that?). Diesel cleans house to a big pop and it’s Drew McIntyre (almost unrecognizable compared to how he looks today) to hammer away, even as the LET’S GO DIESEL chants keep going.

Alex Riley is in at #34 and Miz joins him as Diesel is tossed out. Miz joins commentary and it’s Big Show in at #35. Sheamus and McIntyre are waiting on him as Striker and Cole talk over each other so much that I actually can’t understand either of them. I know Cole is a character at this point but he’s lead commentator. In other words, again, shut up Striker. Show dumps McIntyre and it’s Ezekiel Jackson (a big musclehead, also of the Corre) in at #36 to dump Show in a hurry.

Santino Marella is in at #37 and gets knocked to the floor (not out) almost immediately. Alberto Del Rio (still brand new here) is in at #38 with Ricardo Rodriguez handling his intro. Riley is eliminated during his entrance and Mysterio spends too much time staring at Del Rio, allowing Sheamus to hit him from behind. Del Rio’s entrance takes so long that it’s Randy Orton in at #39 for the parade of RKOs.

Kofi and Sheamus are both out and it’s Kane in at #40, giving us a final grouping of Cena, Mysterio, Barrett, Jackson, Marella, Del Rio, Orton and Kane (not too bad). Cena and Orton stare at him but he knocks both of them down without much trouble. Jackson can’t slam Kane and gets low bridged out (Striker: “That’s huge!” That’s the third time he’s used those same words to describe an elimination.).

Mysterio gets rid of Kane but Barrett dumps him as well, leaving us with Orton, Cena, Barrett, Del Rio and Marella (still on the floor). Cena and Orton have a showdown with nowhere near the heat of Punk vs. Cena from earlier but Barrett suplexes Cena to break that up.

There’s an AA to Del Rio but Riley comes back down for a distraction, allowing Miz to dump Cena. Rock would be back in two weeks so I think Cena will be fine. Orton gets rid of Barrett but Del Rio throws him out….as Santino crawls back in. Santino crosses himself and hits the Cobra (as taught to him by Jon Lovitz). The Trombone pose takes too long though and Del Rio throws him out for the win at 1:09:51. I lost my mind when Santino snuck back in watching this live and bought it completely, so they had a great idea with this one. He was already a Tag Team Champion so pushing him wasn’t out of the question.

Rating: B. This is a weird one as you could say cut out the extra ten people and it’s a classic but if you cut out the ten people, you probably don’t have the awesome New Nexus deal, which set them up as a threat and made Cena’s entrance that much better (seriously that was awesome). There are a lot of great moments here, but it goes a bit longer than the sweet spot. The winner was WIDE open this year though and that does a lot of good for the match. Oddly enough this should have been about thirty five people, which isn’t something you would often see. Good Rumble though and worth your time.

Rodriguez loses it to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The best word to describe this show is forgettable, as other than the Santino spot at the end. The Rumble is rather good and makes the show work, but there are so many people and angles that I can’t remember at all around here and it shows badly. There’s a reason that this era is so forgotten, and Rock coming back to take over things for a few months made it even worse. Punk would rise soon enough, but my goodness this is a completely lost era in a lot of ways. Check out the Rumble, but find something else otherwise.

Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

Original: A-
2013 Redo: A-

2020 Redo: B

Miz vs. Randy Orton

Original: B
2013 Redo: B

2020 Redo: C-

Eve Torres vs. Natalya vs. Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Original: D
2013 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C

Royal Rumble

Original: A
2013 Redo: A

2020 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: A
2013 Redo: A

2020 Redo: B-

Dang was I in a really bad mood here?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/30/royal-rumble-2011-his-name-is-alberto-del-rio/

And the 2013 Redo:

https://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2020/01/20/royal-rumble-count-up-2011-2013-redo-they-had-me/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs