Best of 2016: Worst Match of the Year

This is another big one and something more interesting than several of these. We’ve all seen some bad matches from WWE every single week and it’s always fun to go back and look at what might be the worst of them all. In case you might be a bit slow today, we’re looking at the worst matches of the year in WWE. As usual, these are in no particular order.

1. Brock Lesnar vs. Dean Ambrose – Wrestlemania XXXII

We’re hitting the ground running with a no holds barred street fight between two people who should have been able to beat the heck out of each other. That’s basically what was teased as we came into this match with various hardcore legends giving Ambrose weapons to use, such as a chainsaw and a barbed wire baseball bat. On paper, this had the potential to be one of the best fights of the year.

And it just wasn’t. Lesnar destroyed Ambrose for the majority of the match and unfortunately that was the trend for most of Lesnar’s matches over the year. Ambrose hung around for a good while and had a few hope spots but above all else this was just boring. The aforementioned weapons were brought in but not really used as the chainsaw didn’t work and the barbed wire bad shot missed (of course). One F5 later and Ambrose was done.

This was really just about being boring than bad and that’s not a good thing. The problem with Lesnar was the fact that almost no one was able to do anything to him and he would just disappear for months on end while the loser would be stuck doing nothing. Ambrose was treated like a jobber and then won the World Title a few months later. It’s hard to overlook Ambrose’s complete destruction here though and that’s not a good thing.

2. Carmella vs. Nikki Bella – Tables, Ladders and Chairs

If you want to see why so many people don’t like Bella, this is where you start. The story behind the match was Carmella calling Bella out for being a reality start with everything handed to her and whose whole relationship with John Cena was based on her fame. Instead of taking this as a bunch of insults like they really were, Bella basically said “Yeah, what’s your point?”

A No DQ match was set up and it all fell apart from there. Carmella worked on the knee for most of the match and then Bella just popped up like there was no injury, shrugged off everything Carmella did to her and won clean. In other words: let’s all praise Bella because she’s so amazing and interesting when she treats so many people like they’re beneath her and acts all serious because she’s famous or whatever WWE wants you to buy at this point.

Above all else though, the match wasn’t any good to go along with a horrible story. Carmella could be something special in the division going forward but this is another loss to Bella, who really doesn’t seem phased by all of the insults and rather true statements because she’s famous and therefore above any criticism. That’s not interesting and it’s even worse when the match was horrible.

3. Natalya vs. Charlotte – Payback

You know what’s a bad idea? Pushing a feud over and over long past the point where it stopped being interesting. You know what’s an even worse idea? Having the ending to a match tied back into the Montreal Screwjob, which has been brought up over and over again for years despite it being less interesting and more eye roll inducing every single time it comes up.

Yes, somehow in 2016, we got another Montreal Screwjob finish to a match and they made it even better by tying it into the idea of Charles Robinson being a huge fan of the Flair Family. It felt like a way to back out of a story without actually giving us anything logical or a good idea in general. Charlotte vs. Natalya wasn’t the best story in the world in the first place and then giving us a bad ending made things even worse.

This is a case where the booking brings what could have been a totally fine match down. It’s a stupid decision that feels like a way for WWE to chuckle at themselves and stretch their story out even longer because, for some reason, Sasha Banks wasn’t allowed to face Charlotte until later in the year so we were stuck with something like this. Lucky us indeed.

4. Shane McMahon vs. Undertaker – Wrestlemania XXXII

Let’s get this out of the way right now: McMahon was pretty clearly a replacement after names like Cena and Randy Orton were both left off the card due to injuries. Either of those two against Undertaker inside the Cell would seem like a much better main event level match but this was about as good as we were going to get. Based on that, this match deserves a little bit of a break.

However, that doesn’t make up for the fact that it was one of the worst executed matches I’ve seen WWE put together in a long time. First and foremost, I do not accept that McMahon can give Undertaker a real run for his money, including kicking out of a chokeslam and Last Ride as well as surviving Hell’s Gate. This is the same Undertaker who took Lesnar to the limit just a few months earlier but now he’s having issues with McMahon? Really?

Couple that with the THIRTY MINUTE run time (longer than Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, Undertake vs. Mankind, Undertaker vs. Lesnar (either time) and Undertaker vs. Edge among other Cell matches) and there was almost no way this was going to work. The big dive, while entertaining, was also terrifying (assuming you ignore the crash pad underneath the table) and not enough to save the match. This should have been fifteen minutes long and a glorified squash rather than a competitive match that lasted twice as long. But hey, you have to fill that six hour run time somehow.

5. Dean Ambrose vs. Chris Jericho – Extreme Rules

Here’s a story about a potted plant named Mitch, who became the plot point of a feud between these two major stars. For some reason Ambrose was given his own talk show to replace the “Highlight Reel” and he brought Mitch in as a decoration. Jericho broke the plant over Ambrose’s head and a huge feud erupted, eventually setting up a cage with weapons match at “Extreme Rules 2016”.

What followed was a nearly thirty minute long match with the weapons barely being used and the plant (one of the weapons included) not being used AT ALL. If there has ever been a match that missed the point worse than this one, it hasn’t happened recently. The match was a watchable brawl at times but the big problem is it was supposed to be all about the violence rather than just some mild brawling.

In a word, this one missed. There’s more to a match than what you do between the bells. You also have to do the things that make sense instead of just doing something that you want to do. The whole point of this match should have been the plant (as ridiculous a premise as that is in the first place) but it wasn’t even touched, despite the fans waiting on it to be picked up at some point. I’m sure that has nothing to do with the fans not being all that into the match at times.

6. Triple H vs. Roman Reigns – Wrestlemania XXXII

This is a match that was doomed from the start. To begin with, the fans really weren’t interested in seeing Reigns in the main event of the biggest show of the year. Making it even worse was Triple H, whose feud with Reigns hadn’t been interesting either and really wasn’t doing anything to make the fans care that much more. On top of that, by the time the match began (counting the pre-show), “Wrestlemania XXXII” had run for about six and a half hours. Think about that for a minute and wonder how tired you would be.

It didn’t help that they then went on to have a twenty seven minute match (not counting Stephanie McMahon’s WAY too long intro with some weird Mad Max theme) which was built around working on the arm instead of the violence and anger that the match needed. It was all about standing around, waiting on the inevitable Reigns spear and pin that the fans were dying to boo. Not exactly main event caliber stuff there.

That’s the part that really brings this down: it was the main event of the biggest show of the year, making it probably the biggest match of the year by default. You can’t go with a match this dull with a bad story after all this horrible buildup and expect it to work in any way. This match was a disaster and neither of the two has really gotten over it in the nine months since it’s taken place.

7. Randy Orton vs. Brock Lesnar – Summerslam

Again, this one has to do with the stage. This wasn’t some nothing pay per view like “Battleground 2016” or “Fastlane 2016”. No, this was the second biggest show of the year and the main event should be a major deal instead of just some nothing match. The match was even hyped up over a month in advance with Orton being announced as Lesnar’s opponent a full pay per view in advance.

What wound up happening? A squash. Lesnar absolutely flattened Orton, defeating him in less than thirteen minutes with Orton managing a quick RKO and elevated DDT for his lone important offense. Other than that, Lesnar squashed him with a string of German suplexes and F5’s before beating Orton so badly that his head was busted open and the match had to be stopped.

That’s it. That’s how the main event of the second biggest show of the year ended. I don’t know if that bleeding was the planned ending or not but the build towards it certainly wasn’t the most interesting idea in the world. It was even more of Lesnar destroying someone with almost no recourse before walking away. Orton didn’t need to defeat Lesnar here but he should have at least given him a challenge, which wasn’t the case here.

All of these matches have something bad about them but only one of them had the honor of being the main event of the biggest show of the year and that’s enough to make it the worst match of the year. Aside from Reigns spearing Stephanie McMahon, there was nothing here that entertained me. It was a disaster up and down and there’s really no way around that.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – December 13, 2016: Random Cameos Can Be Good Things

Smackdown
Date: December 13, 2016
Location: Verizon Center, Washington D.C.
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo

As has been the case more often than not lately, we’ve got a fairly stacked Tuesday show. Tonight it’s a tag team battle royal to determine some new #1 contenders to go along with AJ Styles defending the Smackdown World Title against James Ellsworth. Smackdown doesn’t have anything major to set up until the Royal Rumble so it’s all about big TV until then. Let’s get to it.

We open with Shane McMahon (What purpose does he serve? Can anyone answer that?) and Daniel Bryan watching Ellsworth cost Dean Ambrose last week’s main event. Ellsworth comes in coughing and sneezing so Bryan says the title match is postponed. Therefore, we need a new #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

It’s time for MizTV with special guest AJ Styles, who thinks Ellsworth has come down with Chinfluenza. AJ laughs off the idea of Ellsworth being a threat to the title, which is probably accurate. Miz says that he’s the one who raised his title to greatness and beat Ambrose last week. It’s true that Miz isn’t on AJ’s level because he’s above it, meaning maybe it’s time to make the WWE Championship legendary. A fight is teased but Ambrose and Dolph Ziggler come out because Heaven forbid we go a week without hearing from Dolph. Miz takes Dirty Deeds and actually so does Ziggler, only to have Luke Harper appear and lay Ambrose out.

After a break, AJ comes in and demands protection from the bosses. Tonight it’s a fourway elimination match for the #1 contendership between Miz, Ambrose, Harper and Ziggler with interference being grounds for an elimination. The title match will take place on the December 27th episode of Smackdown.

Carmella vs. Natalya

Nikki Bella is on commentary because this is her division. It’s a catfight to start and we head to a rather early break. Back with Carmella sending Natalya into the corner for the Bronco Buster. We hit the bodyscissors, meaning a lot more screaming. Nikki keeps babbling on about how she trusts Natalya and a friend would never do that because it needs to sound like a reality story. Natalya powers out with a Michinoku Driver but opts to argue with Nikki even more. She even shoves Nikki out of the way of a charging Carmella but the distraction lets Carmella grab a small package for the pin at 9:05.

Rating: D+. So like did you know that Nikki and Natalya were the best friends EVER and would never ever stab each other in the back? I need a camera to awkwardly stare into while I list off various emotions I’m feeling as I talk about this because it’s one of the worse reality show stories they’ve done in a long time.

Video on John Cena hosting Saturday Night Live. Cena is back in two weeks.

Gabriel Iglesias (standup comedian) talks to Apollo Crews about being on tomorrow’s Tribute to the Troops. Miz and Maryse come in so insults can be exchanged.

Tag Team Battle Royal

American Alpha, Heath Slater/Rhyno, Ascension, Vaudevillains, Hype Bros, Breezango

The winners are the #1 contenders and both members have to be eliminated. Simon Gotch is knocked out two seconds into the match off a hard clothesline from Mojo Rawley. Thing slow down considerably with people taking various shots at each other around the ring. In other words, it’s a battle royal. Slater and Rhyno start double teaming English as Chad Gable pulls Viktor over the top for an elimination.

Konor gets rid of Gable a few seconds later and we’re down to nine. Slater accidentally puts Rhyno out and another team is split. We take a break and come back with English being dumped out, meaning the Vaudevillains are done. Fandango is swept out to the floor and we’re down to Jordan, Breeze, Slater, Konor and Ryder, meaning Rawley was put out during the break.

Jordan starts to clean house with shoulders and suplexes but Breeze and Konor get together for the elimination. Dang American Alpha just can’t get there. Slater snaps off some neckbreakers but the numbers game catches up with him, allowing Konor to throw him out. Breeze tries to turn on Konor but gets dropkicked down by Ryder. Konor knocks Breeze out to the floor and Zack gets rid of him for the win at 13:33.

Rating: D. Battle royals almost always suck by definition and it certainly didn’t help that the Hype Bros were built up as the next challengers last week. At least they had to do more than beat Ascension and Breezango to get the shot though, making this somewhat of an effective way to crown new #1 contenders.

Baron Corbin video.

Alexa Bliss vs. Deonna Purrazzo

Actually never mind as Bliss says this is beneath her so no match.

Bliss lays Purrazzo out but here’s Becky Lynch to interrupt. She wants her rematch right now but Bliss says not tonight. Actually never mind again as Shane McMahon comes out to say the title match is on.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch

Lynch is challenging and Bliss hides in the ropes to start. The threat of a Disarm-Her sends Alexa even further into the ropes, followed by some armdrags to keep the champ in trouble. Bliss gets rolled up for two as JBL talks about blocking Mauro on Twitter. Another Disarm-Her sends Bliss outside and, claiming a knee injury, she takes the countout at 4:30.

Rating: C-. See, Smackdown is smart enough to not blow the big title match on a regular Smackdown with no hype. If this were Raw, the title match would have five minutes’ build and then go fifteen minutes before we got the next match. The match was little more than an angle but it gives Becky a win over the champ and sets up another rematch.

Bliss goes after Becky with the knee looking just fine. The beatdown sends Bliss limping back to the floor.

Dean Ambrose vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper vs. The Miz

AJ is on commentary, elimination rules with the winner getting a title shot in two weeks and of course Miz’s title isn’t on the line. Harper absolutely cleans house to start by knocking Ziggler and Ambrose to the floor, followed by a Michinoku Driver to Miz. Ziggler and Ambrose get together to put Harper on the floor, leaving Miz to DDT Ziggler for two.

Miz starts firing off some baseball slides but stops to mock Bryan’s pose. That means it’s time for YES Kicks and the corner dropkicks to make it even worse. It’s Dean coming back in to cut Miz off but Harper just blasts him with a boot to the face. Ziggler gets caught in a torture rack but Ambrose makes the save and takes Luke down with the rebound lariat. Miz tries to steal a fall but gets small packaged for the elimination at 6:45 as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose hitting a spinning backbreaker for two on Ziggler while Luke it out on the floor. The Zig Zag puts Harper down but Dean drops the top rope clothesline for two on Ziggler. Harper comes back with a sitout powerbomb for two more on Ziggler but a superkick into Dirty Deeds gets rid of Luke at 15:13.

So what was the point of adding him to this match in the first place? Couldn’t they do the exact same thing with three instead of four? The catapult sends Ziggler face first into the post but he’s fine enough to hit a super X Factor for two. Cue Miz to offer another distraction but Ambrose takes him down with a suicide dive. Ziggler uses the distraction to get in a superkick for the pin and the title shot at 19:05.

Rating: B-. Harper being there for no apparent reason aside, this was a nice long match with everyone looking good to quite good. I really could go without Ziggler getting ANOTHER World Title shot but at least it’s only two weeks away on a TV show and not six weeks away at the Rumble.

Rich Swann tells us to check out 205 Live.

Overall Rating: C+. This was an interesting show as they set up a lot for what feels like it could be a major show on December 27. I can go for the Hype Bros as the next victims for the Wyatts and it should be interesting to see what happens when Lynch finally gets a big time title shot. Good show here and I think I can handle another week without Ellsworth getting his title shot.

Results

Carmella b. Natalya – Small package

Zack Ryder won a battle royal last eliminating Konor

Becky Lynch b. Alexa Bliss via countout

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper, Dean Ambrose and the Miz – Superkick to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Smackdown – December 6, 2016: How To Stuff Your Wrestling Stocking

Smackdown
Date: December 6, 2016
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s a big night here as we’re past Tables Ladders and Chairs and getting ready for Royal Rumble. Before we get there though, two titles are on the line tonight with AJ Styles (on a bad ankle) defending the World Title against James Ellsworth and new Tag Team Champions the Wyatt Family defending against former champion Heath Slater/Rhyno. Let’s get to it.

We open with the ending of Sunday’s show where Ellsworth turned on Ambrose to cost him the title. Ellsworth’s explanation: he’s beaten Styles three times so why would he want to fight anyone else? Makes sense actually.

Here’s AJ in a walking boot and street clothes to open the show. Styles talks about the tragedy of Sunday but is talking about his torn tights. Apparently AJ isn’t cleared to wrestle tonight but here’s Ellsworth to start the match now. That isn’t happening though and Ellsworth thinks Daniel Bryan is protecting him. After all, Ellsworth has his number and can beat him a fourth time. AJ laughs off the idea that Ellsworth helped him get the title and says Ambrose handed Ellsworth every win. Cue Ambrose to give Ellsworth Dirty Deeds and immediately leave. Again, makes sense for him.

Tag Team Titles: Wyatt Family vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Slater and Rhyno are challenging. Heath forearms Orton down to start and Bray does even worse by charging into a boot to the face. Rhyno comes in but it’s WAY too early for a Gore as we take a break instead. Back with Rhyno in trouble as the champs take turns working him over. A shoulder lets Slater come in and Orton gets neckbreakered for two. It doesn’t last long though as Bray runs Slater over. Sister Abigail is loaded up but Bray tags Orton instead so the RKO can retain at 9:15.

Rating: D+. This is all it needed to be and should get rid of Rhyno/Slater as challengers. I’m perfectly fine with their reign ending in such dominant fashion as they were playing so far above their heads that anything they did was a bonus at this point. I could go for JBL shutting up about how the Wyatts are Brody and Hansen after like three matches but I’ll take what I can get.

Kalisto says speed kills.

Natalya vs. Carmella

Before the match Carmella insults Natalya’s weight and says she’s just jealous of everyone else’s looks. No match at the moment as Natalya tackles Carmella and chases her to the back.

Natalya goes after Carmella but runs into Nikki Bella instead. Nikki is all serious as Natalya apologizes before walking away. I know they want Nikki to be the big hero of the division but I’m really not buying it.

Baron Corbin compares cruiserweights to flies.

Hype Bros vs. Ascension

Both teams want the titles. Viktor knees Ryder in the head to start and Zack is in early trouble. Ascension takes turns with a variety of stomps to the back until a neckbreaker puts Konnor down. The hot tag brings in Mojo to clean house and the Hype Ryder puts Viktor away at 3:30.

Rating: D+. I’m assuming the Hype Bros are the next challengers and that’s a fine way to help put the Wyatts over as champions. There’s no reason to go straight for American Alpha or the Usos so just feed them the Hype Bros, who don’t exactly have much to lose at this point. Putting them over Ascension is as simple of a first step as you can get so they’re starting fine.

It’s time for MizTV with Miz asking for his “YOU DESERVE IT” chants. Anyway the guest this week is Ambrose, who should be livid at Ellsworth. Instead he’s pretty calm, even after he got Ellsworth everything he has. Miz accuses Dean of manipulating Ellsworth for his own benefit and then hides behind Maryse. Sunday was so bad for Dean that Miz has a present for him: the first ever Miz Participation Award. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” Violence is teased but here’s Bryan to interrupt and make the obvious main event. That earns a YES chant so Bryan makes it a title match.

Kalisto vs. Baron Corbin

Chairs not included. Corbin throws him outside to start and gets a near fall. Kalisto kicks him in the head and scores with a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Kalisto speeds things up but the springboard spinning tornado DDT is countered into End of Days for the pin at 2:49.

Nikki meets singer Sophia Grace and they get along.

Chad Gable vs. Tyler Breeze

This is due to Gable ripping up a fashion police ticket earlier today. A monkey flip sends Breeze flying early on but a trip to the floor lets Breeze take over. Tyler’s chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Gable takes him down with an exploder suplex. Jordan suplexes Fandango on the floor, leaving Gable to hit a Rolling Chaos Theory of all things (rolling German suplex) for the pin at 2:32.

Here’s Alexa Bliss for her championship celebration, complete with a long pyro display. The fans don’t seem happy and want Becky so Bliss laughs about taking the title from her. Cue Becky to say how hard it is to hold onto the title because she wants her rematch right now. Bliss takes off the jacket but bails to the floor like you might expect.

Opening segment recap.

Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dean Ambrose

Ambrose is challenging and Maryse has changed her outfit. It’s a headlock to start (safe way to go) and Dean throws him outside, only to have Maryse block a suicide dive. Back from an early break with Miz having to escape Dirty Deeds. The second attempt goes just as badly as Miz takes him into the corner and starts in on the knee. A shinbreaker sets up a double knee stomp as things slow down.

The Figure Four is broken up and Dean sends him outside for another suicide dive. That leg certainly healed fast. Miz gets two off a DDT and it’s time for the YES Kicks. They head up top with Maryse crotching Dean, allowing Miz to hit Bryan’s running knee for a close two. Cue James Ellsworth to point out the crotching but it makes the referee miss Dean rolling Miz up for two. The Skull Crushing Finale finishes Ambrose at 13:31.

Rating: B-. Uh…..ok then. I guess they’re already backtracking on what seemed to be a pretty clear heel turn. It might not have been a full on version due to it mainly being about Ellsworth’s title shot but this feels like they’re stretching the story out longer than it needs to go. The match was good stuff until the ending, which is more eye roll inducing than bad.

Ellsworth is upset to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was little more than a filler episode but the key difference is Smackdown always seems to be trying, even in episodes that don’t mean much. They have a few shows to burn before it’s really time to get started on the Royal Rumble build so this was a fine way to spend two hours. Totally watchable show but nothing you need to see.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Heath Slater/Rhyno – RKO to Slater

Hype Bros b. Ascension – Hype Ryder to Viktor

Baron Corbin b. Kalisto – End of Days

Chad Gable b. Tyler Breeze – Rolling Chaos Theory

Miz b. Dean Ambrose – Skull Crushing Finale

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQKDV5O


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – November 22, 2016: I Thought Raw Was The Red Show

Smackdown
Date: November 22, 2016
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips

It’s two days after Survivor Series and less than two weeks to Tables, Ladders and Chairs, meaning it’s time to make up a card. Thankfully Smackdown is ready for that and has already announced a tag team turmoil match to determine who will challenge Rhyno and Heath Slater. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of Smackdown winning the men’s tag match.

Here’s a banged up Shane McMahon to open things up. After a YOU STILL GOT IT chant, Shane praises Team Raw for bringing it as hard as they did. That being said, he’s not happy with AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose, who couldn’t keep it together for a single night. Shane is as close to serious as he can get but Dean keeps chuckling and brings out James Ellsworth, who took out Braun Strowman.

Apparently there’s a surprise for Ellsworth but Dean jumps the gun by saying James is getting a contract. So he was working freelance until then? And he had a World Title shot? Didn’t Shane learn anything from the Monday Night Wars? Dean has been given the night off and Shane wants him out of the building.

This brings out AJ Styles, who wants Dean’s title shot revoked. After that goes nowhere, AJ goes to Ellsworth, who is being handed his contract. Since TLC is in two weeks, AJ needs a warmup. How about we put that contract above the ring and have a ladder match? Ellsworth actually agrees but if he wins, he wants a future title shot.

Daniel Bryan interrupts Miz and Maryse’s photo shoot and Miz is ready for Mizgiving. That’s not what Daniel has in mind though as he’s going to give Miz an Intercontinental Title defense against Kalisto, who was screwed out of the Cruiserweight Title on Sunday.

After a break, Shane makes sure Dean leaves the arena.

Intercontinental Title: Kalisto vs. Miz

Miz is defending. Kalisto goes behind to start and backflips under a clothesline. A suicide dive sends Miz down to the floor and us to a break. Back with Kalisto still in control and hitting his springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. A slingshot sitout powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two more on the champ as Miz is reeling so far. Cue Baron Corbin for a distraction though and a Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 7:15. Not enough to rate but Miz was getting squashed until the ending.

Corbin lays Kalisto out and Dolph Ziggler superkicks Miz to make up for last week. Good grief can we PLEASE go somewhere with Corbin vs. Kalisto but more importantly, MOVE ON FROM MIZ VS. ZIGGLER???

Alexa Bliss comes in to see the bosses but Bryan bails to go deal with what happened. Becky Lynch walks in (“I knocked.”) and says the rematch is at TLC. Cue Natalya with the whistle and talks her way into a match with Becky. Natalya leaves so here’s Dean with a pizza, much to Shane’s annoyance. Becky: “I’ll see you later….after I take out a PIZZA Nattie’s arm!”

Video on the Wrestlemania ticket sale party.

Bryan gives Corbin a match with Kane.

Tag Team Turmoil

This is a gauntlet match with the last team standing getting the Tag Team Title shot at TLC. Ascension and the Hype Bros start things off with the Bros getting jumped from behind and beaten down on the floor. Things settle down with Ryder getting beaten down and chopped a lot. A double neckbreaker gets Ryder out of trouble though and it’s a Hype Ryder for the first pin.

Breezango is in next and we take a quick break. Back with Breezango in control and avoiding a Broski Boot. A slingshot elbow puts Ryder away and it’s American Alpha in fourth. Fandango is right on top of Gable as he comes in and Chad is in early trouble. That goes nowhere as Gable rolls Breeze up for a quick elimination. It’s the Vaudevillains in at #5 and they’re out in less than thirty seconds off a German suplex. That leaves the Usos vs. Alpha for the title shot but the twins aren’t thrilled with getting in immediately.

We take an early break and come back with Jordan in trouble. A belly to back suplex gives Jey two and we hit the chinlock for a bit, only to have Jason pop up and make the hot tag. Gable comes in and cleans house with a snap German suplex getting two on Jey. With Jordan still down, Chad gets caught in a backbreaker/top rope knee combo for a near fall. Jason makes a blind tag and the Steiner Bulldog gets two with Jimmy making a save. Jey scores with a superkick but the Superfly Splash hits knees, setting up a small package for two. Grand Amplitude ends Jey at 21:02.

Rating: B-. The first half of this wasn’t much to see but Alpha and the Usos tore the house down. It’s a good idea to give Alpha the title shot as you can only keep them away from the belts for so long. They’re just so far ahead of almost everyone else and only the Usos can really keep up with them. Check out the final fall but the rest is pretty skippable.

The Wyatts pop up on screen to say they’re the final team but won’t face Alpha until next week.

Ellsworth knows he’s in over his head but wants to fight anyway because any man with two feet can climb a ladder. This brings in Ambrose…..who is dressed as a Mountie (not THE Mountie of course). Shane comes back in and freaks out, telling Ambrose to leave again. Dean: “Don’t you want to know why I’m dressed as a Mountie?” Shane leaves before he does something he’ll regret. Bryan actually asks why he’s dressed like that, which Dean says is because he always gets his man. JBL: “A lunatic Rougeau Brother?”

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya

Alexa is on commentary. They hit the mat to start with Natalya getting the better of it as we take an early break. Back with Natalya in control with an abdominal stretch. It’s almost time for the Sharpshooter but Becky reverses into the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 7:12. Again not enough to rate but it did its job just fine.

Bliss jumps Becky post match.

The Hype Bros shill merchandise.

Miz wants Dolph Ziggler to be suspended but gets a title match against Ziggler at TLC in a ladder match. This is their LAST match.

Nikki Bella accuses Carmella of attacking her at Survivor Series. Carmella suggests that it was Charlotte or Dana Brooke. See, Nikki has made a lot of enemies because she’s not exactly Mother Theresa. There’s going to be an anything goes match at TLC.

Kane vs. Baron Corbin

The masked one goes after him to start but walks into one heck of a right hand to stagger him into the corner. Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes but here’s Kalisto to go after Baron for the DQ at 1:05.

Kane chokeslams Corbin for good measure. Kalisto grabs a chair but Corbin bails before anything can happen. For some reason Corbin charges back in and takes a Van Daminator.

AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth

Non-title ladder match and if AJ wins, Ellsworth is gone for good. If Ellsworth wins, he gets the contract and a future title shot. What Ellsworth, in a neck brace, doesn’t get is an entrance though as AJ comes out after a break. Ellsworth is knocked out to the floor and a kick to the face makes it even worse.

A backbreaker further damages James’ bad back and AJ puts the ladder on top of him. As AJ goes up for the climb, here’s Ambrose in a hockey jersey and helmet to take AJ down. The Phenomenal Forearm drops Dean but Ellsworth shoves the ladder over, sending Styles down to the floor. No Chin Music knocks AJ into the ropes and his boot is tied up in the ropes, allowing Jams to get the contract at 6:00.

Rating: D. This was about the story instead of the match but I’m getting tired of seeing AJ lose to Ellsworth. I know there’s interference and it doesn’t really matter but this is the third time we’ve done this same story and this time the big final shot was Ellsworth on his own. Not a good match of course but this was more of an angle than a match.

JBL does a trademark freak out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like an episode of Raw. The matches were mostly short and featured a ton of interference, though they did set up a bunch of stuff for the pay per view. The good thing is they had most of their stuff set up in advance so this wasn’t the hardest card to throw together. Not a bad show but it didn’t have the Smackdown feel.

Results

Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale

American Alpha won Tag Team Turmoil – Grand Amplitude to Jey

Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her

Baron Corbin b. Kane via DQ when Kalisto interfered

James Ellsworth b. AJ Styles – Ellsworth pulled down the contract

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – November 9, 2016: What’s Scottish for Average?

I apologize for the delay but my internet was out for a few hours during the middle of the show.

Smackdown
Date: November 8, 2016
Location: SSE Hydro, Glasgow, Scotland
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga, John Bradshaw Layfield, Tom Phillips

It’s another night in the same building as Smackdown is in Scotland. Tonight actually has a major match announced as Becky Lynch will be defending the Women’s Title against Alexa Bliss in a match that was scheduled for No Mercy but was postponed due to an injury. Other than that we’re likely going to see more announced for Survivor Series. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ Styles to open things up. AJ isn’t in a good mood tonight and doesn’t want to hear the booing or see the tweets. He wants to talk about last week’s travesty, which saw that mutant turtle James Ellsworth cost him a match against Dean Ambrose. If Ambrose wanted to be champion again so badly, he never would have lost his title in the first place. That brings AJ to Survivor Series, where he doesn’t need Dean’s help to win.

AJ wants to bring the Survivor Series team down but Baron Corbin interrupts. Baron says he’ll deliver, but not to AJ’s team. Cue the Wyatts, which now includes Randy Orton. Before anything can happen, here’s Dean to bring out James Ellsworth (JBL: “HOW DID YOU GET THAT THING THROUGH CUSTOMS???”), who AJ wants thrown in Loch Ness. Styles suggests that Dean and Ellsworth are outnumbered but Corbin walks out.

Cue Shane (who I wasn’t sure was still alive) to talk to team blue. He wants to see the best in the world beat Raw and thinks it’s going to be a clean sweep. Ellsworth has an idea: he can be the official mascot! Shane agrees and a six man tag is made for later tonight with the Wyatts vs. Ambrose/Corbin/Ellsworth.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Breezango vs. Vaudevillains

Breezango are dressed as cops for no apparent reason. Gotch immediately gives Breeze a Regal Roll and the Swanton gives English two. Everything breaks down and Fandango gives English a falcon’s arrow for the pin at 1:23. That was quick.

Natalya vs. Naomi

Coach Natalya now has a whistle. Nikki Bella is on commentary and Naomi is very yellow. Natalya takes her down to start before walking into a sitout jawbreaker. There’s a double crossbody to put both women down but cue Carmella to talk some trash. Natalya busts out her whistle to try and restore order but it just lets Nikki forearm Carmella. The distraction lets Naomi grab a small package for the pin at 2:02.

Corbin has walked out of the six man tag (assuming he was ever officially announced in the first place as it wasn’t clear) but will face Kalisto tonight.

Ellsworth gets on Dean’s nerves until Daniel Bryan comes up. Daniel has a replacement partner for them and it’s…..Kane. Ellsworth: “So….what’s the strategy tonight?” Kane: “Don’t. Tag. In.”

Baron Corbin vs. Kalisto

We actually get a flashback to their feud from three months ago that never went anywhere. Corbin jumps him before the bell and lays Kalisto out. Kalisto is sent outside but Baron slips off the apron and messes up his knee. With Corbin begging off, Kalisto dropkicks the bad knee into the steps. Corbin is in agony as referees come out to check on him. Kalisto even adds a frog splash to the bad leg. No match.

Video on Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch.

Baron Corbin is officially off the Smackdown team due to the knee injury.

So at this point in the show my cable went out and didn’t come back on until right before the end of Crews vs. Hawkins. I saw the rest later but there was a big gap in the middle.

Women’s Title: Alexa Bliss vs. Becky Lynch

Becky is defending and this is billed as the main event, halfway through the show. A lockup goes nowhere to start and the Disarm-Her sends Alexa bailing to the ropes. They trade some rollups for two each before a dropkick sends Alexa into the corner. That goes badly for the champ though as she misses a charge into the post and it’s off to the armbar. More armbarring is countered into a sitout powerbomb to put both women down as we take a break.

Back with Becky starting a comeback and getting two off a Bex Plex. Bliss avoids a guillotine legdrop though and hits a backflip into double knees to the ribs. The champ pops back up and crotches Alexa on top, only to get shoved right back down. They trade rollups but the Disarm-Her goes on to make Bliss tap at 14:50…..with Alexa’s foot on the ropes.

Rating: C+. This was more long than good but it also keeps them set up for another title match down the line. Becky is a good option as the first champion and they made Alexa feel like a bigger deal as she won a lot of matches coming up to this title shot. The match itself was just kind of there though with the basic arm work but the big fight feel helped a lot.

Bryan promises Shane to have a replacement chosen tonight. Miz and Maryse come in to set up some exposition. In exchange for Sami Zayn getting an Intercontinental Title shot, Brian Kendrick will be defending the Cruiserweight Title against Kalisto, and if he wins the cruiserweights come to Smackdown. As a bonus, Miz gets an Intercontinental Title shot next week.

Curt Hawkins vs. Apollo Crews

Hawkins starts fast with a jumping knee to the face and we’re in the chinlock about forty seconds into the match. Crews throws him down again though and goes up top, only to miss a high crossbody. An Oklahoma roll gives Hawkins the pin at 1:50.

Dolph Ziggler can’t wait to defend the Intercontinental Title against the Miz next week on the way to facing Sami Zayn at Survivor Series.

Wyatt Family vs. James Ellsworth/Kane/Dean Ambrose

AJ is on commentary, giving us a FIVE PERSON BOOTH. My goodness people, think this nonsense through. Kane and Harper do the big power showdown to start with a backdrop sending Harper flying. It’s off to Dean vs. Bray with the latter running him over with a shoulder. Orton comes in and runs Dean over before stomping on the fingers. A side slam from Kane has Orton in trouble and the fans want Ellsworth.

That just earns James a throat slit, followed by Orton breaking up a chokeslam attempt on Luke. We hit the stomping for a bit before Bray nails the backsplash for two. The stomping continues and we take a break. Back with the Ellsworth chants continuing, only to have Harper cut them off by dropkicking Kane. Orton grabs a headlock followed by a dropkick but Harper gets DDT’d.

The hot tag brings in Ambrose to clothesline Wyatt, only to have the top rope elbow knocked out of the air. Sister Abigail is broken countered into a rollup for two and there go Kane and Harper to the back. A double clothesline puts both guys down so Ellsworth tags himself in. No Chin Music is loaded up (JBL: “Shawn Michaels is rolling over in his grave and he’s not even dead!”) but Bray easily reverses into Sister Abigail for the pin at 12:55.

Rating: C-. The ending helped this a lot as there was no reason for it to be anything other than Ellsworth getting run over. It’s similar to the old Dungeon of Doom matches where the opponents had to keep the Giant out of the ring because he was going to destroy anyone who got in the ring with him. This was all that made sense and that’s fine for what they had here.

The Wyatts swarm Ellsworth but Shane runs out for the save. Before anything else can happen, Daniel comes out and says he can name anyone he wants to the Survivor Series team. Therefore, he picks……Shane. Well of course he does because Heaven forbid a McMahon isn’t involved so we can have it be about the wrestlers. This is nothing more than a way to have Shane vs. Stephanie, which is what this whole mess is all about in the first place. This actually ticks me off and that doesn’t happen often on Smackdown.

Overall Rating: C+. This was fine, albeit a little forgettable. The bigger matches worked fine but I can’t get over Shane getting the final spot on the team. Unless that gets changed, that’s one heck of a stupid way to go for the sake of a surprise or whatever they’re going for. I’m sick of the McMahons and all of the forced drama, but they’re the stars of the show and that’s all that matters.

Results

Breezango b. Vaudevillains – Falcon’s arrow to English

Naomi b. Natalya – Small package

Becky Lynch b. Alexa Bliss – Disarm-Her

Curt Hawkins b. Apollo Crews – Oklahoma roll

Wyatt Family b. James Ellsworth/Kane/Dean Ambrose – Sister Abigail to Ellsworth

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – October 25, 2016: Just Like Rip and Randy

Smackdown
Date: October 25, 2016
Location: Resch Center, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga

It’s another big week as we have a pay per view rematch from Backlash with AJ Styles facing Dean Ambrose in a non-title match. If Ambrose wins, he gets a title shot at some point in the future. There’s a good chance James Ellsworth will get involved to possibly wrap up his story. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth title match with Ellsworth winning via DQ. After the match, Daniel Bryan made Styles vs. Dean Ambrose for this week.

Ambrose is in the back talking about his match with Styles. Ellsworth comes up and offers to help but Dean thinks it’s better for him to stay in the back.

Kane vs. Bray Wyatt

No DQ. They trade big uppercuts and clotheslines to start until Kane takes it outside and whips Bray into the steps. The chokeslam through the announcers’ table is loaded up but Luke Harper appears and gives Kane the discus lariat. Back from a break with Kane fighting out of a chinlock (I thought these guys were different.) and stopping a charge with a big boot. Harper saves his boss from the chokeslam and Bray’s release Rock Bottom gets two. Harper gets involved again so here’s Randy Orton……to RKO Kane and freak the heck out of Wyatt. Bray covers Kane for the pin at 10:37.

Rating: C-. This was much more of an angle than a match but again, the difference from Raw is this is interesting. I’m curious to see where this is going while most of the stuff on Monday comes and goes with little interest. My guess is Orton trying to get into Wyatt’s head instead of a heel turn, which works for me as I’ve always liked Orton vs. Kane matches.

Styles is ready to take care of Dean and warns Ellsworth to stay away. AJ also says Ellsworth looks like an action figure that melted in a microwave. That’s about as accurate as you’re going to get with him.

Becky Lynch makes her return from injury but is immediately cut off by Alexa Bliss. She accuses Becky of leaving out of fear of losing her precious title. The Cinderella story is ending soon and Bliss will get the title that she deserves. The fight is on but Bliss lays her out and grabs a conveniently placed can of spray paint. A yellow streak goes up the champ’s back and Bliss smirks as she leaves.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Ascension vs. Hype Bros

The winners are on the Survivor Series team along with Heath Slater and Rhyno, who were granted an automatic spot. Mojo, a former Green Bay Packer, is VERY popular here as he starts with Viktor. Ryder is quickly in for a dropkick to knock Konnor off the apron, only to have Ascension take over with some double teaming. Too much trash talking allows Ryder to get in a jawbreaker but a spinebuster stops a hot tag. A middle rope elbow misses though and the hot tag brings in Rawley for his corner splashes. Viktor misses a charge and the Hype Ryder sends the Bros to Survivor Series at 3:50.

Rating: C. Well were you really expecting anything else? Ascension might have won one tag match in a year (on Superstars in February over Fandango and Damien Sandow) so it’s kind of hard to buy that they’re going to win here, or anywhere for that matter. The Hype Bros are already more successful than I was expecting and that’s cool to see.

Orton says if you can’t beat them, join them.

Bryan is talking about the need for strong team captains when Natalya comes in. She’s been thinking about the Raw women’s team and thinks she should be captain. Daniel isn’t sure but makes Natalya’s match against Nikki Bella for the captain’s spot. However, the loser is off the team entirely.

Survivor Series Qualifying Match: Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

Nikki actually tries an Oklahoma roll to start but makes the mistake of going outside, allowing Nattie By Nature to get two. An abdominal stretch and some stomps to the ribs set up the Sharpshooter but Nikki dives over to the ropes. Natalya misses a legdrop and something like the Beautiful Disaster gets two. The surfboard goes on but Nikki powers out and grabs an STF (prepare to hear about her being a great submission wrestler) for the tap out at 6:07.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this one but there’s really no way around Nikki being the captain. Natalya is just there while Bella has been one of the top stars in the division for a long time now. The STF is a nice change of pace for Nikki and she even added a little twist by hooking the foot and chin at the same time.

Carmella attacks Nikki after the match and gives her a Bella Buster.

Ambrose is ready to win because karma is a bad thing.

Here are Miz, Maryse and the Spirit Squad to talk about the Intercontinental Title. Miz feels sorry for the legends that fought to make the Intercontinental Title so important. As Miz talks about Pat Patterson, here comes Dolph Ziggler to say he wants to fight. The Squad is ready so Heath Slater and Rhyno come out to even the odds. Maryse gets in the way and insults are exchanged. Miz suggests that the Spirit Squad get a Tag Team Title shot but thinks Heath is too scared. Rhyno accepts for the team and we’re got a title match.

Tag Team Titles: Spirit Squad vs. Heath Slater/Rhyno

Miz and Ziggler are on commentary. Slater and Rhyno are defending and this is joined in progress with Slater caught in a chinlock. The comeback is cut off and we hit another chinlock to keep the champs in trouble. Slater fights up and dives over for the tag as everything breaks down. The commentators get in the expected argument and it’s Mikey being knocked off the apron onto Miz. A Gore to Kenny retains the titles at 4:03.

Rating: C-. This was fine and a basic tag match with Slater and Rhyno beating yet another team. I don’t think anyone really considers them to be great champions but they could have been a joke and are turning into perfectly acceptable champions. Also, by having them win matches like this one, it’s going to mean more when they lose the belts. It’s putting in effort early for a later payoff, which is a lost art in wrestling.

Hell in a Cell preview.

Ambrose is on the way to the ring when he runs into Ellsworth. Dean: “Didn’t I tell you to stay in the back and sulk?” James begs to be in Dean’s corner and Ambrose eventually relents, much to the audience’s delight.

AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose

Non-title with Ellsworth in the corner and a win makes Dean #1 contender. Ambrose starts fast and stomps away in the corner but AJ comes right back with some shots of his own. With a look towards Ellsworth, AJ scores with the slingshot dive to take us to a break. Back with Dean hitting the suicide dive and grabbing a Fujiwara armbar of all things. AJ rolls out but gets caught in a Texas cloverleaf, sending him crawling over to the ropes. Back up and they fight over a suplex off the apron, only to have AJ suplex him out to the floor for a crash.

We come back from another break with Dean fighting up and hitting the top rope standing elbow drop. AJ’s strike rush is countered into a swinging neckbreaker but he scores with the springboard into the reverse DDT. The Styles Clash is countered into a rollup for two and the rebound lariat drops both guys. AJ comes right back with the Calf Crusher but Dean grabs the champ’s head and slams it into the mat for a break.

The hold goes on again but the power of Ellsworth makes Dean crawl to the ropes, just like Randy saved Rip in No Holds Barred. That’s enough for AJ who takes James out with a baseball slide. The Pele looks to set up the Styles Clash but Dean backdrops AJ to the floor. Ellsworth superkicks Styles……and that’s a DQ at 19:57 with Dean nearly losing his mind.

Rating: B. Good match here and the ending makes sense. I’m not sure where this leads and you have to imagine that Ambrose will get a title shot somehow down the road anyway. Above all else, Ambrose can only blame himself as he invited Ellsworth to come out to ringside. It’s also a good way to protect both guys, which you also don’t see enough.

Overall Rating: B-. This felt like another NXT show with Smackdown banners. The wrestling wasn’t great at times but they advanced almost every story and treated them all like big deals. I’m curious to see where Orton and the Wyatts go, as well as finding out what’s next for AJ and Dean. I don’t get those feelings on Raw and that’s a big reason why Smackdown is better.

Results

Bray Wyatt b. Kane – Pin after an RKO from Randy Orton

Hype Bros b. Ascension – Hype Ryder to Viktor

Nikki Bella b. Natalya – STF

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Spirit Squad – Gore to Kenny

AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when James Ellsworth interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 27, 2016: NXT Style(s)

Smackdown
Date: September 27, 2016
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga

It’s a big night for Smackdown as we have a rare World Title match on free TV with AJ Styles defending against Dean Ambrose. We’re less than two weeks away from No Mercy and it should be interesting to see where things go as we get ready for the triple threat and whatever else is announced before the show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Randy Orton to open the show. He’s heard about Bray Wyatt talking about fear but thinks it’s because Bray is scared himself. Bray comes on screen to talk about Hansel and Gretel. Bray has left his own trail of breadcrumbs that will lead Randy through the prison of his own mind. He holds up an hourglass and sings He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. Orton leaves to go after Bray.

Dean Ambrose says he’s ready to fight AJ Styles tonight.

Usos/Ascension vs. American Alpha/Heath Slater/Rhyno

Alpha works on Jimmy’s arm to start before a double monkey flip sends this Usos flying. Jey tries to go after Gable but gets pulled down into an armbar over the ropes. Jimmy offers a distraction and Jey chop blocks Gable again to take us to a break. Back with Gable still in trouble and Konor getting two. Gable tries to break free for the tag but everything breaks down and everyone not named Slater is knocked off the apron.

The hot tag brings in Heath for a big reaction, followed by some knees and a leg lariat to the bad guys. A neckbreaker gets two on Jey with Konor diving in for the save. Jordan Cactus Clotheslines Viktor to the floor but the Usos make a blind tag, allowing Jimmy to kick Heath in the face. The jumping kick to the back of the knee sets up a Tequila Sunrise to make Heath tap at 10:00.

Rating: C. This was a fine way to set up the title match without having the champs lose in a regular tag match. I can’t imagine anything other than the Usos taking the belts at No Mercy and that’s all it should be. Slater and Rhyno have reached heights they have no right to be near so it’s hard to call them anything other than a success. Another few weeks as champions would be fine but you have to take the belts off them and let us get to the Usos vs. Alpha for the real feud.

John Cena will be at ringside to scout the main event.

Miz has a Lebron James poster covered with one of his own.

Orton goes to what looks like the boiler room and sees an arrow left by Bray. For some reason he turns it around and goes the other way. When the camera pans back, the arrow has been turned around again and Erick Rowan is standing there in his mask.

Back from a break with Bray saying Orton might find out the meaning of the abyss tonight. The hourglass is almost out of sand.

Carmella/Natalya vs. Nikki Bella/Naomi

Naomi and Carmella get things going with the latter danging instead of fighting. That earns her a quick spank and now it’s Naomi’s turn to moon walk. It’s off to Nikki, who scares Carmella to the floor for a breather. Back with Naomi in trouble on the floor and Natalya putting on a chinlock. Carmella gets in a Bronco Buster, followed by Natalya’s basement dropkick (which missed) for two. It was enough of a miss that the tag brings in Nikki a few seconds later and it’s time for the showdown with Carmella (which seems to happen every week). Natalya offers a distraction though and Carmella gets the rollup pin on Nikki at 10:05.

Rating: D+. This small division is working at the moment, mainly because they’ve split it up into two distinct stories. Unfortunately one of those is about how we’re all supposed to love Nikki Bella, who still isn’t all that interesting. Carmella is fine for a first victim for Nikki but hopefully it doesn’t lead to yet another Nikki title reign.

Orton finds a message saying there’s one way out. He opens a closet to find a cardboard cutout of himself with the eyes missing. Another message on another door asks Predator or Prey reveals…..Rowan a few feet away but Orton doesn’t open the door wide enough to see him. Good thing there was a camera waiting there right then.

Here are Miz and Maryse for his homecoming celebration. Maryse introduces a video package on Miz’s career, including Real World clips, his time as a Tag Team and US Champion, his World Title win (still the only possible call) and capped off by the promo on Bryan from Talking Smack. Miz talks about the Cleveland Cavaliers winning the NBA Title and wonders why his celebration isn’t as big. Mr. and Mrs. Miz are in the front row, as are Dolph Ziggler’s parents.

Cue Ziggler because of course it’s still Ziggler to go after Miz. Ziggler doesn’t like Miz talking about his parents and goes to leave almost immediately but Miz laughs at Ziggler for failing again. Dolph brings up Miz cheating, which Miz interprets as yet another excuse. Miz says Ziggler has nothing left to offer for another shot and leaves but Ziggler calls for Mike to come back. All Ziggler has left is his career so he’ll put that on the line. Miz agrees and the match is made for No Mercy. Uh….yay. Like really, yay.

Bray says when one door closes, another opens but he’s watching Randy wander around like a mouse in a maze.

Becky Lynch comes out for a match but Alexa Bliss attacks her from behind and takes off her belt.

Curt Hawkins says gravity has to obey his laws. He’s making a big announcement next week.

Bray wants to know where Orton is. As in any horror movie, he’s right behind Bray and beats the heck out of him. Wyatt runs off so Orton puts on the sheep mask for a little singing. I think the video breaks up as the voice starts distorting and it turns into Bray. It’s not clear if that was intentional.

AJ Styles recaps his rise to the championship and says he’ll still have the title after tonight.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Ambrose is defending and Cena is on commentary. Dean chops away in the corner as JBL asks if Cena really is a part timer or still a full time performer. Cena says nothing as Ambrose takes AJ onto the announcers’ table for some right hands to the head. Back from a break with Ambrose hitting a running clothesline to put both guys down. A backbreaker gets two on the champ and we hit a cloverleaf.

Styles gets to the ropes so Dean gets in a suicide dive because every match needs a suicide dive. Back with AJ cranking on a Calf Crusher until Dean grabs his head to slam it onto the mat for the break. They slug it out until Dean gets two off a double chickenwing facebuster for two of his own.

AJ’s torture rack powerbomb gets two more and a Pele puts Dean down again. He misses the springboard 450 though as Dean rolls away (it would have missed by a mile anyway) and they head outside where AJ hits Cena in the face. The distraction makes the referee miss a rollup, meaning Dean goes outside to hit Cena as well. The distraction lets AJ grab a rollup with tights for the pin to retain at 21:17.

Rating: B. Another good match here and they did a good job of setting up the triple threat. It’s fairly certain that Cena isn’t getting the title this soon and since there’s almost no one around to face Dean, AJ retaining makes the most sense. That’s not a bad thing though and the build has been strong, which is the best thing you can ask for in this sort of feud.

Cena AA’s both guys to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This was a very NXT style show and that’s the best thing you can say about wrestling these days. The Orton vs. Wyatt stuff was an interesting idea to tie things together, though the ending wasn’t all that great. Rowan wasn’t a factor and Orton just finds Wyatt to beat him up? That’s it? Other than that though this was all about setting up a big match to end the show and move us closer to the pay per view in a few weeks. Just a fun wrestling show here, as Smackdown often is.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Smackdown – September 20, 2016: Crush My Crackers This Was Fantastic

Smackdown
Date: September 20, 2016
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga. Mauro Ranallo

It’s a big night here on Smackdown as we have Miz defending the Intercontinental Title against Dolph Ziggler in a rematch from Backlash as well as a major showdown between Dean Ambrose and John Cena after Ambrose laid Cena out to end last week’s show. We’re only a few weeks away from No Mercy so things should start to pick up steam. Let’s get to it.

We open with a preview of Ambrose vs. Cena later tonight.

Daniel Bryan is in the ring for a contract signing for the Women’s Title match at No Mercy. Becky Lynch comes out first and agrees to keep this civil. Alexa Bliss comes out and suggests Becky use moisturizer. Becky says she’s here for a fight instead of a pageant. They go back and forth about how Becky doesn’t belong here but she worked as hard as she could at jobs she hated to get to this point. She wasn’t born to be a champion but Alexa knows she was.

At No Mercy, Alexa is going to prove Becky is a one hit wonder. Bliss hits her with the contract and turns the table over. Alexa goes to leave but Becky chases her to the back. Really simple segment here but I liked it. Bliss has a very natural feel on the mic and that’s going to do her a lot of favors. Becky is playing her character perfectly too and while the match might not be great, the build is working and these two have chemistry talking.

Miz comes up to Bryan in the back to complain about his title defense tonight. That’s fine with Bryan, who says we’ll cancel the match and cancel Miz’s contract as well. Miz backs down and leaves.

Usos vs. American Alpha

The winners get the title shot at No Mercy and Chad Gable’s knee is mostly fine coming in. It’s a brawl to start with Gable taking Jimmy down. Rhyno and Heath Slater are watching in the back and naturally Rhyno is enjoying some cheese and crackers. Alpha cleans house early on with their dropkicks but Gable is sent to the floor and comes up holding his knee.

Back from a break with the twins working over Gable’s knee. Chad elbows his way out of the corner and the hot tag brings in Jordan for the suplexes and shoulders to the ribs in the corner. Jey breaks up the superplex though and the Superfly splash gets two with Chad making the save. They got me on that one. Another toss to the floor makes Gable’s knee even worse and Jordan refuses to tag in his hurt friend. Chad tries to come in anyway and gets chop blocked, setting up a double superkick. Jey’s Superfly splash puts Jason away at 11:34.

Rating: C+. The booking of American Alpha is really interesting as they came in so hot that there’s no reason to believe any team can hang with them. WWE had to come up with something to slow them down so other teams could hang with them and this knee injury was as good as they were going to come up with. In theory this sets up the Usos winning the belts to set up the big showdown against Alpha down the line.

Slater and Rhyno ware watching in the back and Heath has an idea: “When I say Rhy, you say no.” Rhyno: “No.” The Usos come in and say they’ll win at No Mercy. They even threaten to knock Rhyno’s crackers out of his hand. That makes things serious but Jey threatens to send Slater’s kids back to the mudhole. Rhyno CRUSHES HIS CRACKERS and it’s a staredown.

Baron Corbin vs. Apollo Crews

Jack Swagger is on commentary. Crews hits him in the face to start and gets two off a fall away slam. A jumping enziguri knocks Corbin around even worse but he sends Crews ribs first into the post. Corbin drives the ribs into the post again and the End of Days wraps Crews up at 2:48. I’d love to hear the explanation for why Crews isn’t getting ready for a big showdown against Shinsuke Nakamura for the NXT Title instead of being a jobber on Smackdown.

Corbin and Swagger have a staredown.

Curt Hawkins Face the Facts vignette.

Naomi and Nikki Bella are ready to keep the momentum going with the power of the glow. Natalya’s glow went out a long time ago and Carmella has had it out for Nikki for a long time now because she wants to make a name for herself. See, they’re friends now because the script says they should be.

Ziggler says anything could happen here tonight and doesn’t think much of Miz. There are a lot of things he shouldn’t be but tonight he’s going to become Intercontinental Champion.

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and we even get Big Match Intros. Ziggler takes it to the mat to start and Miz is in WAY over his head with the technical stuff. A clothesline on the floor takes Miz down again but he dropkicks Ziggler off the apron to take over. Back in and Miz does the YES Kicks but continues the tradition of missing the big one. Ziggler goes shoulder first into the post and gets kicked in the face for two.

A Stinger Splash has Miz in trouble but he misses another charge into the post. That means it’s time for a running dropkick in the corner, again ala Bryan. The champ goes up top for the ax handle but dives into a dropkick. Ziggler’s running DDT gets two and a Cactus Clothesline takes us to a break.

Back with Miz countering a superplex into a slingshot sitout powerbomb. Ziggler’s sleeper sends Miz over to the ropes and the superkick gets two. Maryse loads up the hairspray but gets caught this time, meaning an ejection. Rollups are exchanged for two each and the Zig Zag gives Ziggler a VERY close two. Miz tries to leave with the title so Ziggler sends him into the steps, only to get sprayed in the face. A Skull Crushing Finale retains Miz’s title at 16:01.

Rating: B+. They had me worried more than once there but thank goodness Miz retains the title here and Ziggler loses again. I’m sure we’re going to get a third match between them at No Mercy and hopefully they still don’t change the title. As has been the case for weeks now I’m still not sure what they’re setting up with Bryan. At this point they almost have to deliver the big return match but most sources say there’s no way that’s happening. We’re either in for a major surprise or a debut of some kind and either one would be interesting.

Erick Rowan vs. Randy Orton

Rowan doesn’t even get an entrance so he starts fast with a reverse powerslam and a dropkick of all things. A trip to the floor makes things even worse for Randy but he gets in the Elevated DDT and the RKO for the quick pin at 2:23.

Post match the lights go out and Rowan disappears with the sheep mask taking his place. Bray pops up on screen and says that unlike Orton, he can never die.

Nikki Bella/Naomi vs. Carmella/Natalya

Natalya forearms Naomi at the bell and has Nikki in the Sharpshooter less than thirty seconds after the bell. For some reason Carmella pulls Nikki to the floor for a beatdown and that’s a DQ at 36 seconds.

Naomi kicks Natalya in the head post match.

AJ Styles says he doesn’t have a rivalry with Dean Ambrose or John Cena because he’s better than both of them. Tonight he’s going to enjoy watching them fight because the champ will always be here.

John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose

As usual, the fans are split on Cena. Feeling out process to start with Cena working on a headlock and then into a top wristlock. Ambrose turns it up by sending Cena into the post and we take a break. Back with Dean chopping and punching away until Cena pulls him down into the STF. Dean makes the ropes and gets in another shot to the head, only to have Cena roll through a high crossbody into the AA for two. Dirty Deeds gets the same and I probably should have penciled that in as soon as the AA hit. Back up and a second AA is countered into a sunset flip to give Dean the completely clean pin at 10:14.

Rating: B-. I upgraded this one for the clean ending alone. Cena losing clean is something that you almost never see and this win feels bigger than when Dean won the title in the first place. It’s not like this hurts Cena in the slightest but it gives Dean a huge rub and makes him feel like a factor instead of just a third man in the match to take the fall at No Mercy.

Post match AJ hits the Phenomenal Forearm on Cena but here’s Bryan to interrupt. As Shane McMahon promised, Dean is getting a one on one title rematch and that’s going to happen next Tuesday on Smackdown. Dean hits Dirty Deeds on AJ to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This show was fantastic and there’s not much else that needs to be said about it. The wrestling was good, the angles were hot and the stories were advanced. Above all else, Bryan was only there when he was needed instead of running around every five minutes and interjecting himself where he wasn’t needed. I had a blast watching this show and thought it was more fun than anything WWE has done in a very long time. Great stuff here and by far the best episode of either show since the Brand Split and a long time before that.

Results

Usos b. American Alpha – Superfly splash to Jordan

Baron Corbin b. Apollo Crews – End of Days

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Skull Crushing Finale

Randy Orton b. Erick Rowan – RKO

Nikki Bella/Naomi b. Carmella/Natalya via DQ when Carmella attacked Nikki on the floor

Dean Ambrose b. John Cena – Sunset flip

 

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Smackdown – September 13, 2016: Plugging The Holes

Smackdown
Date: September 13, 2016
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga

Backlash has come and gone and a few things have changed. In addition to having inaugural Smackdown Tag Team Champions (Heath Slater/Rhyno) and an inaugural Smackdown Women’s Champion (Becky Lynch), AJ Styles has finally won the big one and become Smackdown World Champion. No Mercy is in less than a month and tonight we start dealing with all these new developments. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Backlash recap, thankfully kept down to about two minutes.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ, who is now introduced as the face that runs this place. He’s done everything he told us he would do and now he’s the WWE World Champion (the belt is a very nice fit too). Now he’s the champ that runs the camp but here’s John Cena to interrupt. Cena looks a bit stunned before saying AJ has something that he would like back. The 16 time champ is here but Dean Ambrose cuts him off.

Dean wants his title back but Cena cuts him off as well, saying that Dean didn’t take AJ seriously enough. Maybe Steve Austin was right to call him out on the podcast. Ambrose doesn’t take kindly to that and calls Cena a lazy part timer. Cena would be better off hosting award shows because he’s not able to keep up with the new generation.

This brings out Shane McMahon to praise all of their work before talking about AJ taking a shortcut to become WWE Champion. Therefore, AJ will be defending against Cena and Ambrose in a triple dance at No Mercy. As for tonight though, it’s Cena/Ambrose vs. AJ/a partner of his choosing. If AJ can’t find one, Daniel Bryan will pick one for him.

Connor’s Cure video.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

No entrances here and the twins start in on Ryder’s bad leg. A kick to Jimmy’s back allows the tag off to Rawley for the house cleaning but Jey gets in a superkick. The Superfly splash ends Mojo at 2:22.

Curt Hawkins talks about wolf cubs.

Here are Miz and Maryse for a chat. Miz has held the title for 162 days, which is longer than 132 other former champions, including Dolph Ziggler. This brings out Ziggler to say Miz will never be seen as a top guy. Yeah he’d never main event Wrestlemania or anything like that. Apparently Miz has never earned any respect so all he has to do is beat Ziggler one time with nothing but the two of them. This brings out Daniel Bryan (JBL: “The General Manager of Raw!”) to say Ziggler gets a rematch. Miz says no because he wants his contract renegotiated. Bryan gets in the ring and Miz bails into the crowd.

To recap: since Ziggler challenged Dean Ambrose for the title, the goal has gone from defending the World Title to winning the big one (the Intercontinental Title in this case) to now earning respect by being viewed as a main eventer, which apparently doesn’t include a successful title defense in the main event of Wrestlemania. Now the way to earn respect is to pin Dolph Ziggler, meaning almost the whole roster is respected.

Baron Corbin isn’t interested in being AJ’s partner because he’d rather be his opponent.

Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

Rematch from Backlash’s pre-show. Corbin jumps Crews during the entrances and hits the End of Days on the floor. No match but Jack Swagger of all people comes out, seemingly having jumped to Smackdown.

Swagger: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IT’S THE ROLLING STONES!” You’ve seen him wrestle for a long time but you don’t know Jack. We, as in we the people, are going to be a big problem.

Here’s Becky Lynch for her first appearance as the Smackdown Women’s Champion. That means the required YOU DESERVE IT before Becky can talk about being the only one that survived on Sunday. The journey was worth it so come at her bros.

Naomi vs. Nikki Bella vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Carmella vs. Natalya

Again I’d like to point out that it’s a really bad sign that every possible challenger can be put into one match. One fall to a finish with the winner getting a title shot at some point in the future. It’s a big brawl to start of course with Natalya taking over off a series of suplexes. Nikki takes her down with a facebuster but Carmella makes the save. That means the big showdown but Carmella bails outside again.

Instead it’s Naomi kicking Nikki in the face but getting caught in an electric chair drop. Alexa and Natalya come back in and go to the corner, allowing Naomi to hit a running enziguri. The Bella Buster and Rear View get two each but Alexa kicks Nikki off the top. Carmella comes back in with a superkick but Bliss steals the pin on Nikki at 5:13.

Rating: D+. So Bliss is the most successful of Sunday’s losers. This division is starting to act like the X-Division with the wild matches and only a limited amount of character development for most of the women. Bliss is a good choice for the first challenger as she can wrestle a passable enough match to make Becky look good before her more serious opponent.

Kane laughs at AJ for suggesting a partnership.

Here’s Shane to introduce Heath Slater (and Rhyno) for the official contract signing. Slater signs before anything else can happen and praises Rhyno for being a great partner. They’ll fight anyone anywhere and it’s time to thank his kids. However, here’s the Ascension to interrupt and ask for a title shot right now. Slater says not right now because there’s a table, a red carpet and no referee. Shane thinks we can ix that so let’s defend the belts right now.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Ascension

Ascension is challenging and this is joined in progress with Slater in trouble. Something off the top is horribly botched with Viktor dropping Slater as Konnor lands on him. The hot tag brings in Rhyno for a spinebuster before Slater is dumped to the floor. Rhyno Gores Viktor to retain at 2:04.

AJ says he doesn’t need a partner but Daniel has appointed one for him: one of the jobbers AJ insulted on Sunday.

Randy Orton comes out to address Bray Wyatt, but not before some extra posing. Orton has finally figured out that Bray calls himself the face of fear because he’s afraid. Right now Orton is ready for a fight so Bray can come out here and face his fear. Instead Bray comes up on screen to warn Randy not to sleep. The lights go out again and Bray is on the floor behind Randy, who is actually smart enough to turn around before Bray can do anything. Bray takes off the gear but the lights go out again, allowing Erick Rowan (Didn’t they split?) to come in and jump Orton…..who scores with a quick RKO to take care of that loser.

John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles/James Ellsworth

Actually hang on a second as Miz jumps Ellsworth and hammers away. We have a replacement. I fully support the idea of Miz moving back to the main event.

John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles/The Miz

Joined in progress again with Miz kicking Cena in the face before it’s off to Dean for some clotheslines on AJ. A quick Pele takes Dean down and we go to another break. Back with Miz ax handling Dean so it can be back to AJ. We hit a chinlock on Ambrose for a bit before he shoves AJ away and makes the hot tag off to Cena. Everything breaks down and Dean sends AJ to the floor, leaving Cena to AA Miz for the pin at 9:50.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag but it did move us all the way up to 19:27 of total wrestling tonight, assuming you count the three and a half minutes spent in the commercial. I could have gone without Miz getting pinned but hopefully it means he moves up to the main event for the first time in way too long. I know he’s not the most popular guy but he has the credentials and the character to make it work.

Post match Dean gives Cena Dirty Deeds and actually gets booed. I’m not sure if that was a heel turn or not but it felt pretty close.

Overall Rating: B-. They moved a lot of stuff forward tonight and very little of it had to do with the wrestling. We get a new name in Swagger (which was very badly needed), a new main event feud with Cena vs. Ambrose and Miz also moving up to the main event scene, though likely dropping the Intercontinental Title to Ziggler at No Mercy. It really is amazing how much faster this show feels than Raw (which shows you how much that third hour kills Raw) and that’s such a help. I’m having fun watching Smackdown and I haven’t had that feeling on a Monday in a long time. Good show tonight that helped solve some problems.

Results

Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly splash to Rawley

Alexa Bliss b. Nikki Bella, Natalya, Carmella and Naomi – Superkick to Bella

Heath Slater/Rhyno b. Ascension – Gore to Viktor

John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. The Miz/AJ Styles – AA to the Miz

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Backlash 2016: As Good As It’s Going To Get

Backlash 2016
Date: September 11, 2016
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, David Otunga

It’s the first single branded pay per view and I’m really not sure what they’re going to do to fill in the whole show. There are currently six scheduled matches but word on the street is that one of them might not be taking place as advertised due to an injury. They could always add some stuff in but at the moment, this isn’t looking like a three hour show. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Apollo Crews vs. Baron Corbin

This was made on the pre-show when Corbin interrupted Crews’ chat with Daniel Bryan. They lock up to start with Corbin shoving him away, only to have Crews come back with a dropkick. A right hand stops a springboard and knocks Crews to the floor (signature spot) as we take a break. Back with Crews hitting an enziguri from the apron and avoiding a charge but Corbin slides under the ropes and back inside for a clothesline to the back of the head.

Corbin talks a little trash and takes Apollo’s head off with another clothesline. A running knee (because of course) puts Corbin down and the second jumping enziguri gets two. An Angle Slam of all things gets two more on Baron but he hits the Deep Six for the same. They actually head outside with Corbin going into the steps for a seven count. Back in and Crews charges into a knee (it’s always the knee) to set up End of Days for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: C+. This was actually a lot better than I was expecting with some ice chemistry from the pair. Corbin winning is fine as he needs something to do but Crews needs to start winning people people stop caring about him. Above all else though: the pre-show had ONE match that ran about ten minutes and now we’re almost ready to go with the regular show. Yes I said ONE MATCH instead of three with half an hour between each one. I really don’t think people are going to miss the other two and the fans might even be a bit less burned out later on. Imagine that.

We open with a text crawl about September 11 and what it means for our freedom. Nothing wrong with this whatsoever and you knew it was coming.

Opening video of Shane McMahon talking about how this is the new vision and a new era, including new champions being crowned for the first time.

Here are Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan to open things up. Shane brags about how awesome the fans and everyone behind the scenes have been. The internet has been blowing up and the red team is getting a run of its money. They talk about the new titles and Shane introduces the Women’s Title match.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Naomi vs. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Natalya

The title is vacant coming in and this is under elimination rules. Otunga calls Naomi his dark horse with the glow and I’m not daring to touch that one. Nikki is in red, white and blue to hammer home the fact that she’s our fearless hero. Bliss on the other hand is Harley Quinn for a VERY nice look. There are no tags so it’s a wild brawl to start with Nikki being clotheslined to the floor (and being fearless enough to put her foot on the bottom rope to shove herself off before anyone was touching her), leaving Becky to work on Naomi’s arm.

We get the dancing kicks (JBL: “Be glad she only has two feet and not eight.” Uh, right. It’s off to the showdown between Nikki and Carmella and WOW it’s even less interesting than I thought it would be. Bliss makes the save and hits her moonsault knees for two on Naomi. Becky comes back in and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers, capped off by Carmella brawling with Nikki.

The Alabama Slam gets two on Carmella and Natalya comes back in for a Tower of Doom (a name they thankfully don’t use tonight). Alexa comes back in with a sunset flip out of the corner for two before Carmella sends everyone outside, leaving Naomi to dive onto all of them. Back in and Natalya loads up a powerbomb out of the corner with Naomi adding a Blockbuster to get rid of Bliss at 9:39.

Nikki hits her big forearm on Naomi but Natalya wants the elimination instead and the Sharpshooter makes Naomi tap at 10:54. Nikki’s TKO gets rid of Natalya at 11:57 but Carmella rolls Nikki up for the elimination at 12:04. We’re down to Carmella vs. Becky with Lynch getting in her usual stuff until she runs into a superkick. Not that it matters as Becky grabs the Disarm-Her for the tap out and the title at 14:35.

Rating: C+. This was fun stuff and Becky winning is a nice surprise (though you can imagine Nikki getting the title by the Rumble at the latest). Above all else though, it didn’t feel like they were stretching out to fill in time. Carmella had a good performance here but she and Alexa are still a long way away from the top level. Naomi continues to be worthless save for one spot a match.

Becky gets promo time post match and we get the WAY overused “you deserve it” chant.

Miz yells at a kid from Nickelodeon, who offers Miz a spot on his show. “Unless you can get John Cena instead.”

Bray Wyatt attacks Randy Orton and injures his ankle to cover up for Orton not being medically cleared to compete. They really, really should have done this on TV instead of a bait and switch like this. They were even promoting it on the pre-show and it’s a very cheap move.

Usos vs. Hype Bros

The winners face Heath Slater/Rhyno later in the night to replace the injured American Alpha. The Usos have new gear and Jimmy wrestles in a shirt (thank goodness). Mojo throws Jey around to start but it’s quickly off to Zack for a facebuster on Jimmy. Ryder knocks both twins to the floor and Mojo runs all the way around the ring to run them over in a cool power display.

Back in and the Usos start with the double teaming to send Ryder right back to the floor. The running Umaga attack sets up a chinlock, followed by another chinlock to keep things fresh. Zack sends them outside again and the double tag brings in Mojo as the crowd isn’t all that thrilled. Something like an F5 gets two on Jey and Ryder adds a middle rope hurricanrana for two. Everything breaks down and the Usos go after Ryder’s leg, setting up a Tequila Sunrise to make Ryder tap at 10:11.

Rating: C-. Now this felt like they were dragging it out. The knee stuff from the Usos made sense and there was next to no doubt that the Usos were going over here as you don’t have Hype Bros vs. Slater/Rhyno twice in a week. It’s not a bad match but this was clearly filler and they weren’t making any secret about it.

Slater and Rhyno are ready but Heath has an upset stomach due to some artificial crab dip. Rhyno: “Heath, we’re still live.” Heath: “Uh…..YOU’VE BEEN SWERVED!”

Connor’s Cure video.

We recap Dolph Ziggler vs. the Miz for the Intercontinental Title. Daniel Bryan had accused Miz of being soft but since Bryan can’t wrestle, Miz got to feud with Ziggler instead. Dolph had been wanting to win the big one and the Intercontinental Title seems to suffice.

We cut to Miz in the back where he tells Bryan he wants to renegotiate his contract. Bryan says nothing and Miz laughs at the idea of Bryan calling him a coward. Miz: “I want you to watch me do what you can’t anymore.”

Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler

Miz is defending and is quickly sent outside to start. Back in and Ziggler tries some amateur stuff until Miz punches him in the face to take over. We get some choking on the ropes until Miz counters a dropkick and catapults Ziggler out to the floor. Miz grabs a chinlock as they’re taking their time for obvious reasons.

It’s off to a surfboard before Miz does the YES pose. Oh man they’re teasing the heck out of this but I’m not sure how they’re going to pay it off. Miz’s running corner clothesline looks to set up the top rope ax handle but Ziggler rolls him up for two instead. Ziggler makes his comeback with the usual and sends Miz shoulder first into the post.

Miz comes right back with a slingshot sitout powerbomb (sweet) before hitting a kind of Stunner on the leg. A quick Fameasser gets two for Dolph and he grabs the sleeper to slow Miz down. They trade DDT’s before Miz gets the Figure Four for a good while before Ziggler gets the rope.

This is getting a lot of time so far and it’s only kind of feeling like they’re stretching it out. Miz up but charges into a superkick for two with the champ getting his foot on the rope. Miz bails to the floor and has to be thrown back in, allowing Maryse to spray Ziggler in the eyes with something. The Skull Crushing Finale is enough for the retaining pin at 18:11.

Rating: B. I liked this more than I was expecting but that’s not really surprising with the roll Miz is on at this point. I’m sure this is going to set up a rematch because we just can’t get rid of Ziggler because HE’S IMPORTANT AND GETS SO CLOSE TO WINNING THE BIG ONE WHICH GETS SMALLER AND SMALLER EVERY SINGLE TIME. Miz vs. Bryan would be very interesting but I’d be really surprised if they actually went with that as Bryan’s one last match.

The pre-show panel has a chat.

Here’s Bray with no video or introduction as Orton is injured. The injury is announced and we get a ten count but we have a replacement match and it’s no holds barred.

Bray Wyatt vs. Kane

I had the name written before the music hit because of course it’s Kane. They’re quickly on the floor with Kane knocking the bell out of Bray’s hands. Back in and Bray’s cross body has Kane in trouble, followed by a chair to the knee to make it even worse. Another chair shot gets two on Kane until he grabs a running DDT. The side slam looks to set up a chokeslam but Bray takes it outside again.

Bray does Orton’s pose and drops the running backsplash through a table for the big spot. The fans seem very pleased here after booing the heck out of the match announcement. Back in and Sister Abigail is countered into a chokeslam for two. Bray gets the same off a Rock Bottom onto a chair, only to have Orton come out for an RKO. Kane adds a chokeslam for the pin at 10:58.

Rating: C. GAH! I’m so freaking sick of Bray losing time after time after time after time for the sake of setting up what’s likely to be another loss because Bray is bulletproof or whatever. He’s been on the main roster for three years and I can’t remember the last big win he had. The fans are DYING to cheer for him but no, instead let’s have him job to freaking KANE to make us want to see him fight Orton later.

Someone explain why that booking is supposed to make sense. Please. I’d LOVE to hear how that makes sense. It’s Orton fighting a loser who couldn’t even get on the 18 hour Summerslam but now I want to see Bray vs. Orton on pay per view. Just turn him face already like you were planning to do and FREAKING DID AT ONE POINT instead of having him do the same stuff for years. The match was fine for a house show style match but that ending drove me nuts.

AJ Styles tells some nameless jobbers that they’re destined for failure.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Rhyno/Heath Slater

For the inaugural titles. Slater goes after Jey to start before it’s off to Rhyno for some power slots. Heath comes back in but is taken outside for a double suplex into the post (cool). Back in and Slater is slowly beaten down as the back work continues. The fans want Rhyno but get a chinlock from Jey instead.

Slater fights up and we get the double cross body spot to set up the hot tag. Rhyno comes in (to a very nice reaction) but misses the Gore. Heath tags himself back in and hits a neckbreaker on both twins, followed by a DDT for two on Jimmy. The superkick nails Heath but Rhyno hits the Gore to give Slater the pin at 9:57.

Rating: C. I smiled. They won’t hold the titles long and that’s the best idea but this was absolutely fine and the right move at the time. American Alpha can get the belts later but this wraps up Heath Needs A Job and gives the fans a fun moment. Above all else: WWE had something with Slater and they actually did something with it. They ignore that kind of thing WAY too often and it’s such a waste of someone getting over. This is as high as Slater needs to go and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Slater and Rhyno are happy with the win and this sums up everything: “Yo Beulah! WE’RE GETTING A DOUBLE WIDE BABY!!!”

Miz vs. Ziggler chicken deal.

We recap AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose which doesn’t have much of a story. Styles beat John Cena last month at Summerslam and has a title shot as a result. Dean doesn’t seem to be taking Styles seriously though.

Smackdown World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles

Dean is defending. Feeling out process to start with Dean being driven into the ropes. AJ: “I OWN YOU!” A forearm puts a seated Dean down again but he comes back with his awkward slugging, followed by a backdrop to send AJ outside. The suicide dive is broken up though and AJ starts in on the neck before going with the drop down into the dropkick.

Dean comes up holding his nose but makes a comeback anyway by whipping AJ into the corner. That goes nowhere good either as Dean misses a charge into the post. They’re going with the idea that Dean is doing his normal insane style but AJ knows exactly what he’s going to do and is one step ahead. Dean is back up and tries a belly to back superplex but flips AJ over for a big crash to put both guys down.

AJ dives into a spinning Rock Bottom backbreaker of all things for two (makes sense as Dean used something new) and the standing elbow to the floor has AJ in even more trouble. They head inside again with Dean getting suplexed into the corner (becoming a common move lately). Now it’s AJ going after the leg with a standing Robinsdale Crunch out of the corner and the Calf Crusher is on.

Dean makes the ropes so AJ puts the hold on again in the middle of the ring. In a clever counter, Dean grabs the head and slams AJ’s head into the mat over and over. Dean fights up and goes outside for a clothesline, followed by a running bulldog for two back inside. AJ’s fireman’s carry into a backbreaker gets two, followed by a torture rack into a powerbomb for the same.

The springboard 450 gets the same and AJ is stunned. Dean comes back again and hits his running dropkick to knock AJ outside. That means it’s finally table time but instead Dean sends him into the crowd for a suicide dive. It’s not a countout though as they head back inside with a Pele sending Dean into the ropes for the rebound lariat. The ref is bumped though (of course) and a low blow sets up the Styles Clash to give us a new champion at 24:59.

Rating: B+. The ending was the only possible option and that’s the best thing they’ve done all night. They did a great job here with the idea of Dean not being able to keep up with AJ who was just on his game tonight. Dean never really felt like a real World Champion to me so having him lose to the best thing on Smackdown was the right call. Really good match here and the best thing on the show, which had to be expected.

AJ celebrates and we’re out at 10:38.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a really weird one to grade as the ultra low expectations did it a lot of favors. Unfortunately it’s a show that didn’t need to exist and needed a lot of things dragged out to make it work as well as it did. Smackdown is dying for some midcard talent as they had one of the shortest pay per views in a long time and that only worked with a team working twice and the opening match not starting until over fifteen minutes into the show. I liked this as well as I could have given the circumstances but they really need to fix some big problems.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Carmella, Nikki Bella, Natalya, Alexa Bliss and Naomi – Disarm-Her to Carmella

Usos b. Hype Bros – Tequila Sunrise to Ryder

The Miz b. Dolph Ziggler – Skull Crushing Finale

Kane b. Bray Wyatt – Chokeslam

Rhyno/Heath Slater b. Usos – Gore to Jimmy

AJ Styles b. Dean Ambrose – Styles Clash

 

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