Mixed Match Challenge – January 16, 2018 (Series Premiere): The Shoulder Pads Give Me Hope
Mixed Match Challenge Episode #1 Date: January 16, 2018 Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Beth Phoenix
This is a new concept for WWE as they’re airing on Facebook for the first time ever. In this case we have a tournament of mixed matches with the winners earning money for a charity. There will be twelve episodes with twelve teams vying for the money with one match a week. I have no idea what to expect here so let’s get to it.
No opening sequence here, which is quite the jarring difference.
Renee Young and Byron Saxton are on the floor as hosts.
We get quick vignettes from both teams, basically saying they’re going to win. They’re definitely assuming you’ve watched WWE before so this definitely isn’t treating the fans like a new audience.
We get some rapid fire vignettes from other teams, including Carmella eating pancakes and Nia Jax being presented with some lucky underwear.
First Round: Finn Balor/Sasha Banks vs. Shinsuke Nakamura/Natalya
Nakamura has an old Jim Neidhart Hart Foundation jacket, complete with the big shoulders. The women start things off and Natalya bails into the corner. It’s quickly off to the men and Phoenix is already coming off as the best analyst WWE has had in years. They fight over a technical sequence and it’s an early standoff as they’re playing this as even. Neither can get much control off an armbar so Nakamura tells him to COME ON.
That means another standoff and Balor throws up the Too Sweet sign. The women come in again and Sasha hits her pose before slapping Natalya in the face. Something like an atomic drop and a basement dropkick give Natalya two but Banks is right back with the double knees in the corner (haven’t seen that one in awhile). Natalya bails to the floor so Sasha dives onto…Nakamura, who calmly puts her back on the apron. The second dive takes Natalya down but Sasha walks into the discus forearm, followed by the chinlock.
Hang on a second though as we need to look at Sami Zayn and Becky Lynch talking about the show. We hit the abdominal stretch with Natalya lifting the foot off the mat for some bonus pressure. Eh she’s a Hart so she should know this stuff. Sasha flips her away without too much effort and brings Balor back in to speed things back up.
Nakamura kicks Balor in the head though and hits the running knee for two. Kinshasa is countered with the Sling Blade but Natalya breaks up the Coup de Grace. Sasha throws Natalya outside but Kinshasa is countered again, this time with Nakamura being sent into the post. Stereo basement dropkicks set up the Bank Statement to make Natalya tap at 12:48.
Rating: C. And that’s the problem: there’s no real animosity here and they’re just having matches for the sake of having a match. It doesn’t help that it’s not exactly a thrilling concept and the match wasn’t anything we haven’t seen done better before. Balor and Banks winning makes sense as they’re a more popular combination, mainly because Banks actually has some charisma.
Next week: Big E./Carmella vs. Asuka/The Miz.
New Day is fired up and Carmella is in a washing machine.
Miz speaks English and Asuka shouts in Japanese before they both speak English (BECAUSE ASUKA CAN FREAKING SPEAK ENGLISH!).
Overall Rating: C. I liked the show well enough, but I’m not sure how long of a shelf life this is going to have. It’s not the most thrilling thing in the world, though there might be some interesting matches going on later in the brackets. The fact that it’s only about twenty five minutes an episode will do it A LOT of favors though as it’s more like something to do on Tuesday instead of something really important. Not bad, but totally skippable.
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Smackdown – November 21, 2017: Really Shane? Really? Shane?
Smackdown Date: November 21, 2017 Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
So the battle between brands is over and now it’s time to find out where we go from here. In theory we go towards Clash of the Champions in just shy of a month, which could mean multiple things. AJ Styles is likely going to have to deal with Jinder Mahal again, though the title match won’t be taking place tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Sunday’s main event.
Here’s Shane McMahon to get things going. They were so close on Sunday and, despite what his sister wants to say, Smackdown proved that they’re nothing but the best show. The Smackdown roster gives it their all every night and he’s proud of them all. Save for two that is, meaning Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn.
Shane has them come out here and Owens immediately calls Shane drunk with power. Sami wants to know whether it’s harder for Shane to keep coming up with excuses for his failures or just admitting that he’s wrong. They would have beaten the Shield or even won a 5-2 handicap match or beaten Brock Lesnar. Shane says he’s the Commissioner and the two of them have no respect for anyone. He teases firing them but Owens says that would be stupid as they’re both future Hall of Famers.
Shane loads up the firing but gets cut off by Daniel Bryan. Sami starts getting fired up but Daniel tells him to be quiet. Everyone in the back hates Sami and Kevin’s guts, to the point where Bryan had to send Randy Orton home before he tried to kill them. Tonight, the two of them will be facing New Day in a lumberjack match.
So to recap: yes, we are just supposed to go with the fact that Shane put himself in the match and assume that he really was the best option. I have no idea why we’re supposed to go with that other than Shane is a former fan favorite but if you disagree with whatever he says, you’re apparently a heel. Oh and Smackdown is totally equal to Raw, even though it lost on Sunday. Such is life in WWE.
Jey Uso vs. Shelton Benjamin
Shelton lets him out of the corner to start, only to climb the ropes for a knee to the face, knocking Jey outside. Back from an early break with Shelton working on a chinlock until Jey fights up with a Samoan drop. Gable offers a distraction so Shelton can get two off a rollup, only to have Jey score with a superkick for the same. The Superfly Splash misses though and it’s Paydirt to give Shelton the pin at 7:07.
Rating: C-. You might as well just pencil in the Tag Team Title match at Clash of the Champions and that’s fine. It’s not like there are many other teams to challenge for the belts unless they hot shot the Bludgeon Brothers up to the title scene in a hurry. Not bad or anything but they need a little more time to get somewhere, especially with such a simple booking idea.
Sami and Kevin try to get help from Baron Corbin and Bobby Roode, both of whom shoot them down. Roode promises both of them a receipt.
Naomi is getting her makeup done when NXT’s Ruby Riot comes up. She’s with Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan, all of whom beat the heck out of Naomi. Becky Lynch comes in for the save and gets beaten down as well.
The bosses are in the back with Shane praising Bryan’s decisions tonight because he can fire Sami and Kevin whenever he wants. Shane leaves to go watch the show at his hotel.
Hype Bros vs. Bludgeon Brothers
It’s Luke Harper and Erick Rowan with big Thor style hammers. Rowan runs Ryder over to start and knocks him outside. Harper gets in a hard clothesline and sends him into the steps, leaving Rawley alone. A double spinebuster puts Mojo away at 1:24. Total squash.
Natalya applauds Charlotte for winning the title last week and beating Alexa Bliss on Sunday. I mean, Natalya’s cat could beat Bliss but tonight she’ll give Ric Flair something to really cry about.
Video on Brock Lesnar vs. AJ Styles from Sunday.
Here’s Styles for a chat, but first we see a post-match video from Paul Heyman, saying Styles is the best in-ring performer he’s ever seen. AJ wishes he could celebrate with all the fans but it didn’t go as well as he thought it would. He’d love to face Lesnar again though because in the sequel, Rocky wins.
That brings him to Jinder Mahal, who says he’s taking the title back tonight. AJ takes off the jacket and the belt, saying come get it. Mahal pops up on screen to say it’s his time instead of AJ’s. If Mahal had faces Brock, he would be hailed as the Beastmaster. AJ says bring it on because Mahal should be well rested after not doing anything on Sunday. Mahal will take his rematch at Clash of Champions. Cue the Singh Brothers from behind to jump AJ, who cleans house without any trouble.
Sami and Kevin recruit Aiden English and Rusev, who don’t say no.
Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Natalya
Charlotte is defending after having won last week. Natalya jumps at her to start but gets elbowed in the jaw. That earns her a face first toss into the middle buckle and we take a break. Back with Natalya getting two off a Batista Bomb and grabbing the Sharpshooter. Charlotte makes the rope for the break but Natalya is right back on her with right hands. A whip into the corner lets Charlotte try the moonsault, only to land on the knees. The spear connects but here are Logan, Riot and Morgan to jump Natalya for the DQ at 6:43.
Rating: C+. They were rolling until the interference here with Natalya showing more fire than she has in a long time. Charlotte looked like she was in a fight and that’s not something you see from her too often. I can go for the trio interfering, though I would have liked to see Charlotte get the win first.
Charlotte gets beaten down as well as the trio poses.
Daniel Bryan has no comment on the trio attacking. Sami and Kevin come up and threaten him with repercussions if he fires them.
New Day vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens
Lumberjack match and New Day comes out with some pancakes. Woods is on the floor here as Owens and Big E. get things going. Kevin knocks Kofi outside early on and the lumberjacks let him back in without any issue. Sami comes in so Kofi leapfrogs him into a back elbow for one. Back up and Kofi is sent outside again and for the second time, no one touches him.
Sami goes to get him this time and gets pummeled, sending him running up the aisle. No one is letting that happen though and Sami gets carried back to the ring. We take a break and come back with Owens taking the Unicorn Stampede. Owens knocks Kofi into the corner though and stomps away as Saxton says the lumberjacks are like sharks who can’t wait to get their hands on Owens and Sami. Graves: “Sharks don’t have hands Saxton.”
Sami comes in and mocks New Day’s dancing claps before stomping away. Owens’ backsplash hits Kofi’s knees though and the hot tag brings in Big E. The Big Ending doesn’t work on Sami so it’s back to Kofi for his high crossbody. Everything breaks down with Sami being sent outside, triggering the brawl between the lumberjacks. They all come in and the referee doesn’t call for the DQ, leaving Sami to roll Kofi up for the pin at 11:50.
Rating: C. This was much more about everything else going on than the match itself and that’s fine. Sami and Kevin winning makes sense and it’s not like New Day is hurt by a fluke pin after all the issues with the lumberjacks (or a recent match with Shield). It’s storyline advancement and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Post break the lumberjacks leave with Kofi diving onto Rusev and English. Sami takes the Midnight Hour to leave him laying.
In the back, Owens gets on his knees in front of Bryan, begging him not to fire them. Bryan was never going to do that because he recognizes their talent. Next week, Owens goes one on one with Orton.
Overall Rating: C+. This was a back to normal show without much in the way of major developments. AJ is still champion, Mahal is still in way over his head and saying the same things he always says, Owens and Sami are still right in that they were better options than Shane at Survivor Series and Shane is still a face for reasons that I don’t possibly comprehend. The debuts and returns were nice though and gives the show some much needed fresh blood. Good enough show, though nothing of note really happened.
Results
Shelton Benjamin b. Jey Uso – Paydirt
Bludgeon Brothers b. Hype Bros – Double spinebuster to Rawley
Natalya b. Charlotte via DQ when Sarah Logan, Ruby Riot and Liv Morgan interfered
Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens b. New Day – Rollup to Kingston
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Smackdown – September 12, 2017: Beating Up An Old Man Is Bad
Smackdown Date: September 12, 2017 Location: Thomas & Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton
I know I say it a lot but this week really is a major night for Smackdown as not only do we have three titles being defended on one show but the boss himself is in the house. Vince McMahon is making a rare TV appearance to deal with the Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens feud, which is slowly starting to get out of hand. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look back at Shane and Kevin’s issues with Owens getting beaten up again, meaning Vince has to come here for the intervention.
Here’s Owens to get things going. He welcomes us to the Kevin Owens Show by reminding us that he never fought back last week. Owens is going to own this whole place because he’s suing everyone around. Every week on the USA Network, it’s going to be Kevin Owens presenting the Kevin Owens Show starring Kevin Owens.
That means some changes around here, starting with Sami Zayn being fired. Then we’ll have Byron Saxton and Tom Phillips wearing the same suit. As in one suit for one person because they sound exactly the same on TV so there’s no point in having them separate. Oh and the Fashion Files are canceled because he doesn’t get it. Kevin wants to see Mr. McMahon right now but Here Comes the Money instead. Owens: “NO!!!!”
Never mind as it’s actually Dolph Ziggler trying out a new entrance. Kevin is relieved because it’s actually someone talented who works here so it couldn’t be Shane. Ziggler leaves and it’s Daniel Bryan taking his place. Daniel thinks Owens needs to chill so Owens offers him a job as a janitor. Bryan laughs it off because Mr. McMahon is going to be here very soon.
Donate to the Red Cross to help with natural disasters.
US Title: AJ Styles vs. Tye Dillinger
AJ is defending. Dillinger was trying to answer the US Open Challenge two weeks ago when Baron Corbin attacked him. Styles gave him a shot to make up for it. AJ sends him into the corner to start but gets rammed into the post and we take an early break. Back with Dillinger getting powerbombed out of the corner to put both guys down.
It’s AJ up first with a forearm to knock him backwards but Baron Corbin comes out for a distraction. AJ gets in the Phenomenal Forearm to drop Baron but gets caught in the Tyebreaker for a heck of a near fall. Of note: the announcers make sure to point out that Tye didn’t have time to get his knee pad taken down for the full impact, thereby protecting the move just a bit. The Calf Crusher retains AJ’s title at 7:21.
Rating: C. This wasn’t the biggest surprise as Dillinger isn’t ready to win a title and it’s pretty clear we’re heading towards Styles vs. Corbin at the pay per view. Styles defending the title in a good to very good match week to week is a perfectly good idea as he’ll give people their best match in months more often than not. Dillinger tried here but he was in over his head.
AJ shakes his hand post match but Corbin gets pulled to the floor. Dillinger gets taken down as well, followed by Corbin laying Styles out on the floor. Corbin is answering the Open Challenge next week.
Rusev went back to Bulgaria recently and the people greeted him with shame and embarrassment. He came back as a loser but that’s not what he is. To get it back, he must break a legend.
Here are Jinder Mahal and the Singh Brothers for a chat. Mahal talks about getting inside his opponents’ heads and puts up a picture of Nakamura with a bit of a grimace on his face. That makes Jinder think of constipation and where the bathroom is. Another picture makes Mahal think Nakamura is still trying to rip off Michael Jackson. Each of these jokes literally has the Brothers rolling on the mat in fits of laughter.
Finally, one of Nakamura looking angry makes Mahal think he’s screaming about Godzilla. Mahal mocks people who are laughing at this because it’s nonsense (that helps a bit). These Americans will mock you and say that you look like Pikachu having a seizure. Mahal promises to win in Punjabi and that’s that. This was certainly different and Mahal is starting to feel more like a champion but this really wasn’t funny (though he did acknowledge that).
Kevin Owens is going over new ideas for the show (limos, private jet, new entrance video etc.) when he runs into Sami Zayn. Owens talks about driving through a blizzard with Sami after wrestling in an armory in front of 42 people. They made a promise that night to never do this again and get to the WWE together.
Well now Owens is about to own the biggest wrestling company in the world and Sami is about to be out of a job. Based on that, Owens is giving Sami permission to break that promise when the armories start calling and he’s having trouble making rent. Sami says he’d rather wrestle in those armories than ever work for Owens.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos
The Usos are defending and this is a street fight. Kofi Kingston and Big E. (no Xavier here this week) go for a table to start but Big E. is posted as we take a break. Back with the Usos in control and Big E. getting stomped down in the corner. Something like a Van Daminator with a superkick gets two on Big E. as Kofi gets beaten down on the floor. It’s kendo stick time with Big E. taking another beating. Jimmy: “IT’S TOO EASY!”
Kofi finally gets back in to clean house and start swinging the stick. He beats Jimmy down so badly that the stick is broken in half for a cool visual. Jimmy’s running chair shot only hits post and a top rope double stomp with the chair gives Kofi two. The trust fall onto the Usos is caught with Kofi being sent into the barricade. Big E. is back up though and goes nuts, sending Jey into and then over the table.
The Rock Bottom plants Jimmy and a belly to belly drops Jey as well. A double Warrior Splash gets two but Jimmy gets in a superkick. That goes nowhere and it’s the Big Ending for a near fall. Now it’s a double superkick for the same but Kofi breaks up the double Superfly Splash with Jey being shoved through a table at ringside for a nasty crash. That’s enough to set up the Midnight Hour to give New Day the titles back at 11:22.
Rating: B-. See you in the Cell boys. It’s pretty clear that it’s the only thing left and that’s not the worst thing in the world at this point. I can get behind the idea of the Cell being the big blowoff match after a series of other matches far more easily than just throwing them in there and the fact that it would be a very good match helps too.
Ronda Rousey is here.
Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Natalya
Natalya is defending and they’re in the ring when we get back. Carmella is on commentary and has James Ellsworth on a (leopard print) leash. Naomi does the dancing kicks to start and we’re off to an early break. Back with both trying a crossbody for a double knockdown. It’s Naomi up first with a kick to the face but the split legged moonsault misses. The Sharpshooter is broken up as Natalya is kicked to the floor. Naomi dives onto everyone but gets sent into the post for her efforts. The Sharpshooter goes on with Natalya looking at Carmella as Naomi taps at 7:13.
Rating: D+. This didn’t do much for me and, as usual, I’m getting rather tired of the “IS SHE CASHING IN THIS WEEK” stuff. It also doesn’t help that we don’t have Charlotte or Becky Lynch anywhere near the title, which doesn’t do much for Natalya’s reign. They’re both bigger stars and much more interesting than Natalya, which makes her feel like a lame duck champion. The match was too quick to have much value either and Naomi tapping again should put her out of the title picture for the time being.
Aiden English auditions to sing the new theme song for the Kevin Owens Show.
Here’s Dolph Ziggler to talk about how he’s good enough to not need an elaborate entrance to be a star. He goes to the back and returns….as Bayley. Is that sweet enough for these people? Ziggler talks about someone who had no in-ring ability yet people idolized him, meaning it’s time for the Ultimate Warrior entrance. With that done, Ziggler rants about how anyone can do what he just did but no one can do what he does in this ring. He couldn’t care less about any of us and he walks off.
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin vs. Hype Bros
Shelton takes Mojo down by the arm to start but gets forearmed in the face. It’s off to Ryder for a middle rope dropkick, only to charge into a spinebuster. A powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination ends Ryder at 2:24.
Mojo shakes hands post match but Ryder walks away.
Here’s Owens to wait for Vince’s appearance. The boss comes out and Owens says Vince looks intimidated. Vince laughs off the idea of Owens respecting authority. Vince: “Kevin, when you look in the mirror, how do you have any respect at all?” He brings up the lawsuits and sees it as Owens craving power. If Owens does file the suit, Vince will be on the phone immediately to Owens’ attorney and firing Owens on the spot.
Vince has been in his share of courtroom battles and hasn’t lost a single one (uh, right). The laws of this land were written for people like him because he’s a billionaire. By the time the lawsuit gets to court in several years, Owens will be bankrupt. As for last week though, Shane is suspended for not beating Owens up badly enough. Vince gets to the point: there won’t be a lawsuit because there’s going to be a match. Kevin Owens will face Shane McMahon inside Hell in a Cell.
That’s fine with Owens, but he needs permission to beat a McMahon senseless. They shake hands and Owens headbutts Vince, drawing some blood from Vince’s head. A right hand drops Vince again and Owens kicks him in the ribs. Referees come out and Owens adds a superkick.
Owens even adds a frog splash and Stephanie makes her first appearance since Wrestlemania to come out and check on her dad. Vince won’t get on the stretcher and nearly collapses to end the show. This was VERY well done and I love Stephanie making what felt like a natural return to check on her father instead of some grand entrance. Really good ending here and if they have Shane get mauled in the Cell, it’s even better.
Overall Rating: B. The ending brings this way up in quality but the whole show felt like a big deal. Owens is suddenly the best heel they’ve had on Smackdown in a long time and should be heading towards the World Title as soon as Nakamura takes it from Mahal. They’ve got a hot angle to go with some good action but Mahal feels in WAY over his head, which isn’t doing them any favors. That can be fixed, but they need to maintain their momentum elsewhere. Strong show tonight led by the Owens story.
Results
AJ Styles b. Tye Dillinger – Calf Crusher
New Day b. Usos – Midnight Hour to Jimmy
Natalya b. Naomi – Sharpshooter
Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin b. Hype Bros – Powerbomb/Top rope clothesline to Ryder
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Smackdown – August 15, 2017: They Might Have Just Saved Summerslam
Smackdown Date: August 15, 2017 Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the last show before Summerslam and there’s a big main event to send us home. This week features Jinder Mahal vs. John Cena in a non-title match, which likely means that Baron Corbin and Shinsuke Nakamura will be lurking around. Other than that we’ll be pushing some of Sunday’s lower card matches as well. Let’s get to it.
A narrated video talks about tonight’s main event.
Phillips says this might be the biggest match in Smackdown’s history. This isn’t even Cena’s biggest match on Smackdown this month.
Here’s Mahal to talk about today being Independence Day in India. An Indian band performs a quick dance and then a woman sings the Indian national anthem. Mahal takes credit for the success of the WWE Network and goes on about how awesome India is until Nakamura interrupts. Nakamura says today is India’s Independence Day but it’s also Veterans Day in Japan. On Sunday, he’s taking the title. This was long and accomplished absolutely nothing.
The announcers send their best wishes to Ric Flair.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
Naomi comes out for commentary. Becky grabs a rollup for one but gets the taste slapped out of her mouth. That earns her a slap right back, sending Natalya to the floor as we take a break. Back with Becky caught in an abdominal stretch until she makes her comeback with the clotheslines. The Bexploder looks to set up the Disarm-Her but Becky has to escape the Sharpshooter. A top rope legdrop misses though and the Sharpshooter makes Becky tap at 7:33.
Rating: D+. Natalya continues to be the same performer she’s been for years now: completely competent in the ring but mostly lacking charisma or anything interesting. I still don’t know why she’s getting the shot when you have Becky and Charlotte on the sidelines. In theory they’re saving that for a bigger stage, but there’s not much of a bigger stage than Summerslam. Unless they’re just setting up the Money in the Bank cash-in and don’t want to waste a big match, I really don’t get the point in a glorified midcard match for the title.
Post match Naomi chases Natalya off from another Sharpshooter attack. Carmella comes out and teases cashing in her briefcase at Summerslam.
Tamina wants to know why Lana hasn’t made her ravishing yet. Lana says Tamina isn’t ready, which doesn’t sit well.
The Usos come in to see Daniel Bryan, who thinks they want him to join their rap group. It turns out they want to know which New Day members they’ll be facing Sunday. That would be Big E. and Xavier Woods, but the Usos want Woods and Kofi tonight. That’s cool with Bryan, who dances a bit as they leave.
Rusev vs. Chad Gable
Gable wastes no time in suplexing him to the floor but Rusev sends him into the steps a few times. Rusev tosses Gable over the announcers’ table and it’s a double countout at 1:16.
Post match Rusev puts Gable in the Accolade on the announcers’ table. Rusev grabs a mic and gets in the ring, only to have Orton come in from out of nowhere with an RKO. How did he not see a 6’4 wrestler running right in front of him?
Here’s AJ Styles to talk about Sunday’s match where Shane McMahon will be guest referee. AJ calls Shane to the ring and apologizes for accidentally kicking him last week. Shane says no apology is necessary but AJ is worried that Shane will use what happened last week to screw him over on Sunday. The boss says that won’t happen, but if AJ puts his hands on him on Sunday, Shane will put his hands on AJ as well.
AJ asks if that’s a threat but here’s Kevin Owens to interrupt. Owens loves those rules for Sunday because he thinks AJ has something planned. Kevin thinks AJ is going to try to get him to get into a fight with Shane on Sunday and cause a DQ. Shane tells them to shake hands but the fight breaks out with Shane having to block an errant AJ right hand. The ensuing argument lets Owens superkick Shane by mistake.
New Day vs. Usos
Non-title. Before the match, New Day said they’ll be seeing the Usos at Summerslam and goes over a list of places the Usos can see them before then. Kofi and Woods take turns hitting a long string of elbows, legdrops and splashes (over ten of them total) on Jey in the first minute. Double baseball slides drop the Usos and we take a break after a very fast start. Back with Kofi making his comeback and bringing Woods in off the hot tag to chop away. A double superkick to the legs set up a double superkick to the jaw but Jimmy makes the save. Jey superkicks Kofi’s knee and a double superkick his jaw for the pin at 7:49.
Rating: C-. That was a great opening but MY GOODNESS I’m sick of superkicks. This match didn’t even go eight minutes and there were seven superkicks included. Remember back in the day when one superkick finished a match? Well now it takes seven times that and most of them don’t even come close to finishing a match. Cool it with those already, as I assure you there are multiple other options out there.
It’s time for the final episode of Fashion Peaks with Fandango recapping everything that’s gone on so far, including the alien probes, which went very deep. They were MENTAL probes of course. Here’s Breeze in a dress and blond wig because that’s what he does these days. Breeze says they need to figure this out because the last thing they need is people thinking they’re making it up as they go along.
Fandango has a space rock that the aliens gave them, which he says can predict the future. He throws the rock and hits Ascension, who were returning pie. There’s a hair in the pie, along with a used Band-Aid and….GLUTEN! Viktor panics because they live a gluten free lifestyle and gets dragged away. There’s also a note in the pie, saying “Two B”. Fandango says he senses danger for the whole tag division. A graphic says they’ll return in two weeks.
Jinder Mahal vs. John Cena
Non-title and Jinder’s entrance is joined in progress. They fight over a test of strength to start until Cena shoves him away. One of the Singh Brothers gets in a cheap shot from the floor though and Mahal slowly takes over. Jinder throws him outside and we take a break. Back with Cena initiating his finishing sequence.
The Singh Brothers pull Mahal to the floor before the AA but the referee catches them for an ejection. That means the STF but Mahal is over to the ropes. Mahal snaps his throat across the top and hits a knee to the face for two. The Khallas is broken up and the AA….gets two? Well I’m a bit surprised. That means a super AA but here’s Corbin for the DQ at 9:59.
Rating: D. And so much for Mahal meaning much. He’s one of the worst choices for a champion you can find and now he can’t even get a full entrance in “one of the biggest matches in Smackdown history”. The fact that he didn’t get pinned helps a bit but he was completely destroyed at the end. Mahal needs to lose the title on Sunday, but it wouldn’t shock me if they kept it on him as a swerve.
Post match Corbin knocks Cena out and leaves….before realizing how stupid he would be to not cash in right now. Corbin cashes in the briefcase and IT’S ON!
Smackdown World Title: Baron Corbin vs. Jinder Mahal
Cena offers a quick distraction and Mahal grabs a rollup to retain at 9 seconds. THANK GOODNESS as that means there’s no cash-in on Sunday and we’re done with one of the stupid briefcases for the next eleven months.
Corbin is livid and Mahal celebrates with the Singh Brothers to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. That ending alone saved this show as I couldn’t be happier about the briefcase being gone. One of the dumbest things they could have done was have Nakamura win and then have Corbin cash-in to win the title. Now we don’t have to worry about that and Nakamura can Kinshasa Mahal back to the midcard where he belongs. Other than that, this was a show similar to last night as the bigger stories were in deep freeze (until the main event of course) and not much really happened. It’s not much of a show but hokey smokes that ending was a great call.
Results
Natalya b. Becky Lynch – Sharpshooter
Rusev vs. Chad Gable went to a double countout
Usos b. New Day – Double superkick to Kingston
John Cena b. Jinder Mahal via DQ when Baron Corbin interfered
Jinder Mahal b. Baron Corbin – Rollup
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Complete 2002 Monday Night Raw Reviews in either E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – June 27, 2017: Now Why Would You Do That?
Smackdown Date: June 27, 2017 Location: Valley View Casino Center, San Diego, California Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s ladies night with two major women’s matches on the card. First up we have the second ever women’s Money in the Bank ladder match as the WWE tries to fix the mess they made out of the first one just nine days ago. After that we have Lana challenging Naomi for the Women’s Title in another Money in the Bank rematch. It’s almost like they’re just doing the same things twice for the sake of not having to come up with anything new. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at the Money in the Bank ladder match from the pay per view and the build to tonight with the theme of seizing opportunity when you get the chance. This is also used on the rest of the major stories going on around here.
Here’s Daniel Bryan to hype up the ladder match and explain the concept, only to be cut off by Carmella. She goes on the same rant she went on last week, explaining the rules of the Money in the Bank match and saying she didn’t break any rules. Carmella: “How can you break a rule if there are no rules???” Other people have interfered in ladder matches and those results weren’t changed. Bryan says he’s heard this before and we’re having the ladder match.
James Ellsworth tells the people to shut up and calls Bryan pathetic. He looks at Bryan and sees a coward who is staying out of the ring because of some fake injury. Daniel smiles and says he should just fire Ellsworth but instead just bans him from the entire arena for the rest of the night. Security comes out and drags him away as this opening segment wraps up after nearly fifteen minutes with really nothing new being done.
Hype Bros vs. Usos
Non-title but if the Hype Bros win, they get a future title shot. Zack and Jimmy start things off with an armdrag sending Uso down. It’s off to both partners with Mojo clotheslining Jey to the floor for a dive from Ryder. Jey gets in a superkick though and we take a break. Back with Ryder missing a charge in the corner and Jimmy adding the Superfly splash for the pin at 5:42. Not enough to rate due to the break but the commercial seemed completely worthless as there was less than ten seconds of action after the break.
Post match the New Day comes out to challenge for the titles at Battleground. The Usos accept, in rhyme no less. Kofi rhymes a bit of his own and tromboning ensues.
It’s Fashion Vice time with Ascension sitting in an interrogation room to be grilled by Breezango. Fandango holds up the stick figure drawing, which Konnor says isn’t them. Fandango: “You expect me to believe that? Because I do.” He offers two tickets to paradise (as in Eddie Money tickets) in exchange for information but that goes nowhere.
Breeze pulls out the water guns….and offers them iced tea and a cheese platter. Konnor says it wasn’t them and they were just at Money in the Bank to get a match. Noise is heard elsewhere and they leave to find their office trashed again. Fandango: “Sweet Richard Simmons.” There must be someone else so Breezango starts thinking. As they do, Ascension takes the concert tickets. That’s better as Ascension was the lamest reveal they could have done.
Women’s Title: Naomi vs. Lana
Lana is challenging and jumps Naomi during the Big Match Intros. The bell rings and Lana’s sitout spinebuster gets two. So much for that as a finisher. Naomi kicks her in the head and hits the split legged moonsault to retain at 41 seconds.
Becky Lynch is ready to have a fair chance to win Money in the Bank.
Here’s Aiden English to sing about how awesome he is. Cue Randy Orton to cut him off and we take a break. Back with Orton sitting in a chair, having RKO’d English during the commercial. We look back at Orton taking out the Singh Brothers last week (because we haven’t had enough filler on this show yet) before Orton says he wants another shot at Mahal’s title.
If he doesn’t get it, he’s going to beat Mahal up in the back. Then he’ll beat Mahal up in the parking lot. Then he’ll beat Mahal up in the airport. Then he’ll beat Mahal up at next week’s show too. At what point does Mahal file a restraining order? Here’s Shane McMahon to keep Orton from going Mahal hunting by saying we can’t have this. Orton is willing to be fired and go from city to city and spend all his money beating Mahal up.
Shane points out that the Singh Brothers did things that Orton has done before but he can sympathize with these feelings. The rematch is set for Battleground but there will be a stipulation chosen by Mahal. That’s cool with Orton but here’s Mahal to interrupt as well. Mahal says this is what’s wrong with everything around here when Orton isn’t worthy of a rematch. He mentions Great Khali being an inspiration (who he hated back in the day) and makes it a Punjabi Prison match. As luck would have it, there’s a video all primed up and ready to go as soon as he says it.
AJ Styles and Kevin Owens come in to see Bryan with Owens saying AJ couldn’t answer last week’s Open Challenge because he’s already been beaten. Styles makes an Anchorman reference which Owens doesn’t get (I don’t either as I only saw that movie once and didn’t care for it. I’ll wait here for you to gather your pitchforks.). Bryan has an idea: next week on the Fourth of July, we’ll have a battle royal with the winner facing Owens for the title at Battleground.
Here are Mike and Maria Kanellis for their Smackdown debut, only to have Sami Zayn cut them off in just a few seconds.
Sami Zayn vs. Baron Corbin
Sami goes right after him to start and sends Corbin to the floor, only to get tossed into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Corbin still in control and grabbing a bearhug. Sami slips out and hits that hard clothesline of his and avoids a charge, sending Corbin shoulder first into the post. Corbin misses another charge and gets rolled up for two before driving Sami right back into the same corner. A headbutt puts Corbin down but he catches a charging Sami with End of Days for the pin at 8:11.
Rating: C-. Just a quick win for Corbin here and that’s why Sami is around: he can lose several matches but the one or two wins he does get are enough to fuel him for a long time. Corbin needed this win to get him back on track for the sake of him being Mr. Money in the Bank, which should keep him going for a long time.
Shinsuke Nakamura says Corbin is scared of him and for good reason.
Charlotte vs. Tamina vs. Becky Lynch vs. Carmella vs. Natalya
Money in the Bank. Everyone brawls on the floor to start, leaving Carmella to make the very early climb. Naturally it’s very slow, allowing the other four to come in and stop her without too much effort. We’re quickly down to Becky vs. Charlotte with Lynch being left alone, only to have Tamina come back to send her into the ladder. A not great looking Superfly Splash crushes Becky and we take a break.
Back with Natalya suplexing Charlotte but getting suplexed on the floor by Becky. Charlotte and Tamina fight over the ladder until Natalya makes a save and loads it up over Charlotte in the corner. Natalya starts to climb but Charlotte shoves her ladder up to make a ramp for the save. Carmella shoves the ladder over, only to take a pumphandle suplex from Becky.
Back from another break with Natalya climbing slowly enough that Charlotte can make a save. Everyone but Carmella gets shoved down but the other four are right back to lift the ladder up and carry it away from the case. Carmella dives onto Becky and Natalya, leaving Charlotte to drop Tamina again. Charlotte puts the ladder over Tamina and climbs but Carmella is back to grab her legs.
Tamina pushes the ladder up from the mat for another save and superkicks the air in front of Charlotte’s face. A double powerbomb brings Carmella down but Natalya tries a Sharpshooter on Carmella. The announcers say it’s to take the legs out, though HITTING HER WITH A LADDER might make more sense.
Natalya goes after Charlotte and fights her into the crowd…..and here’s Ellsworth to climb the ladder. Becky shoves him over and crotches him on the top. Carmella makes another save and Becky hurts her leg on the landing. Carmella gives her a really bad chair shot to the back and climbs up for the briefcase at 24:29.
Rating: B-. General issues with ladder matches aside (the Sharpshooter, fighting into the crowd, slow climbing until the very end etc.), completely acceptable stuff for the most part. This was more long than good but they got the ending right, which was by far the most important thing they could have done here. Of course this begs the question of why they didn’t just do this in the first place but you have to take what you can get from WWE most of the time. At least Carmella won and looks strong as she goes after the title now, which is what matters most.
Overall Rating: C. The ladder match saves a lot of this but it was clear they were filling in as much time as they could. I have no idea what the point of the Women’s Title match was and the Hype Bros match was a bit of a waste of time as well. The ending worked though and that’s the most important part, especially when next week changes everything as Cena is back. Not a bad show, but it’s all about the main event and nothing more.
Results
Usos b. Hype Bros – Superfly Splash to Ryder
Naomi b. Lana – Split legged moonsault
Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn – End of Days
Carmella won Money in the Bank
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Smackdown – May 9, 2017: The British Curse Turns Blue
Smackdown Date: May 9, 2017
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re taped tonight from London as we have less than two weeks before Backlash. That means it’s Jinder Mahal time tonight and we get to see more of his rapid fire build towards being a main eventer. Other than that we might get more of the Welcoming Committee, which is turning into one of the worst heel stables I can remember in years. Let’s get to it.
We open with a clip of last month’s Six Pack Challenge where Mahal became #1 contender. Has Mojo Rawley had a match since then? Mahal then cost Randy Orton the House of Horrors match and stole the title belt.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Orton to get things going and he has the title back, thanks to Shane McMahon taking it from Jinder last week. Orton says he lost because of Mahal, not because of Wyatt or that refrigerator. Before Orton can get too far, here’s Mahal to show off his promotional pictures with the title. Mahal promises to begin a new age at Backlash before speaking I believe Punjab.
Cue Kevin Owens to say no one cares about anything but him. Owens brags about ending Chris Jericho’s career and, after he gets rid of AJ Styles, he wants the World Title. Now it’s AJ coming out to quite the reaction to say he’s the face that runs the place. Cue Baron Corbin but Sami Zayn jumps him from behind and the fights are on with the good guys cleaning house.
Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
Before the match, we get some generic “British people have bad teeth” jokes from James Ellsworth and Carmella. Naomi and Charlotte are here as Becky’s seconds. The Welcoming Committee offers an early distraction so Natalya can send Becky to the floor and take over. We hit the abdominal stretch for a bit before the STRAIGHT FIRE forearm has Natalya reeling. The Bexploder looks to set up something on the top but the other women get in a fight, allowing Natalya to pull Becky off the top for the pin at 3:02. That’s almost the same ending as Alexa Bliss vs. Mickie James from last night.
Rating: D+. The time and the familiar ending hut this one but real problem was taking fifteen minutes to introduce everyone and start the match. I’m sure this sets up a six woman tag for the pay per view, which should be a good place for either someone to turn heel or at least for the Welcoming Committee to get a win. Therefore, look for Charlotte to pin Carmella.
Lana is coming soon.
Charlotte blames Naomi for Becky’s loss but Lynch comes in to cool them down. A six woman tag is set for the pay per view.
It’s Fashion Files time! They’re at the 02 Arena this week and Fandango is dressed as Sherlock Holmes while Breeze is a standard British cop. Fandango: “Cheerio.” Breeze: “No thanks. I’ve already had my breakfast.” They find some spilled lead paint that would only be worn by Uggos. That must be a ruse so Breezango can’t tell them apart but it doesn’t really matter. The paint leads to a room where roaring is heard. They think something nefarious is going on in there but it’s just the Ascension warming themselves up. Breeze: “I’m getting too old for this s***e.” More funny stuff here as Breezango continues to look good.
Luke Harper vs. Erick Rowan
Rowan throws him to the floor to start as the announcers talk about how these two are running amuck with no one to guide them. Back in and Rowan scores with a spinning kick to the face and a splash for two. Harper suplexes his way out of the head vice but the discus lariat is blocked. Instead Erick gets two off a Side Effect and grabs the mask. The distraction (as the referee tries to figure out what the mask is supposed to look like) allows Rowan to poke Harper in the eye and grab a reverse spinning powerslam for the pin at 4:23.
Rating: D. Just a power match here but they really need to either stop pushing Harper for a few weeks and then having him lose over and over again. I mean, do they really think there’s value in Erick Rowan winning with a lame powerslam? This didn’t work and the booking makes my head hurt so we’ll move on.
Here’s Dolph Ziggler to call out Shinsuke Nakamura. He’s been here for eight years (How has it only been that long?) but the fans treat him like a disease. Who do the people cheer for now? That starts a Nakamura chant as this is starting to sound like Chris Jericho vs. AJ Styles last year.
Now people are calling Nakamura an artist but Ziggler is the strongest man in WWE because he never needed the people. This brings out Nakamura to tell Ziggler to shut up. Nakamura is ready to show him so here’s a referee but Ziggler says nope. Dolph says we do this on his time and wants the match at Backlash. The sneak attack earns Dolph a beating.
Sami is fired up to team with Orton and Styles. Zayn tries to run a strategy session but seems to just annoy his partners. By the time he announces their team as the winners, they’ve both left.
New Day is coming and we get a video game themed promo with every other team being listed on a character select screen.
Breezango vs. Ascension
Fandango chops at Konnor to start but it’s off to Viktor who runs him over. A chinlock doesn’t last long and it’s off to Breeze for some house cleaning. Fandango makes a blind tag and it’s an atomic drop into the Last Dance for the in at 2:39.
Post match the Usos come out to say twelve days over and over while listing off various things that Breezango can do to each others’ backs (with Jimmy clearly trying not to crack up).
Mojo Rawley is giving some kids a tour of the backstage area but stops to tell them a story about Andre the Giant. Andre did a lot of things but Mojo switches to a story about a boy who was different growing up. He was bullied as a kid but then he used it as motivation to become a legend. Mojo pulls out the trophy and the kids are amazed. I’ve started to like Mojo more and more lately and I’d love to see him get some more TV time.
Rusev hasn’t heard about his demand for a World Title shot but he’ll be here next week to get an answer.
Randy Orton/Sami Zayn/AJ Styles vs. Jinder Mahal/Baron Corbin/Kevin Owens
Sami and Corbin get things started but a quick tag brings in Owens. There’s no contact though as it’s off to Mahal for some kicks to the chest. Sami grabs a headscissors and brings in Orton so Mahal tags out to Owens. The threat of an RKO sends Owens out to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Corbin working over Sami and handing it off to Owens as the eternal feud continues. Sami is tossed outside for a stomping from Mahal, drawing AJ over to stare him down. Corbin’s chinlock keeps things slow so Jinder comes in for one of his own. The stomping keeps going and we take a break.
Back with AJ getting the hot tag to come in and clean house as everything breaks down. The running forearm drops a seated Corbin and Sami hits a big flip dive onto all three villains. Owens breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm though and Styles and Corbin are down. It’s Mahal breaking up the tag though and dropping a knee for two on Styles.
Owens comes back in for some very aggressive stomping and a chinlock of his own. That’s quite the popular move tonight and in no way a method to stretch out a long main event. The backsplash hits knees though and the hot tag brings in Orton. Everything breaks down and Owens eats the RKO, only to have Jinder’s cobra clutch slam put Orton away at 22:14.
Rating: C+. The match was more long than good and the ending extended the Mahal vs. Orton feud but this felt like a way to fill in TV time instead of a match that needed to go this long. I’m not sure how much people are going to buy Mahal’s cobra clutch slam as a threat to beat Orton but at least they’re setting it up as a possibility.
Overall Rating: D+. This was a rough one as it felt like a shortened version of Raw. The problem is I don’t watch Smackdown for a shortened version of Raw but rather something far more interesting and exciting. To be fair though, I think we can blame that on the UK tour as those shows are almost always lifeless. Some stuff was set up for the pay per view though and that’s important with just a show left beforehand.
Results
Natalya b. Becky Lynch – Natalya pulled her off the top rope
Erick Rowan b. Luke Harper – Spinning reverse powerslam
Breezango b. Ascension – Last Dance to Viktor
Jinder Mahal/Kevin Owens/Baron Corbin b. Sami Zayn/Randy Orton/AJ Styles – Cobra clutch slam to Orton
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Wrestlemania XXXIII Preview: Smackdown Women’s Title: Six Pack Challenge
Maybe the swerve of the night.
With Asuka retaining the NXT Women’s Title at “Takeover: Orlando”, I have almost no idea who is going to win here. I can’t imagine they’ll throw Nikki Bella in there again and as much as I’d love to see Alexa Bliss retain the title, I have a feeling we’re getting Naomi winning the title again for the big hometown pop, because, and I know I say this a lot, Naomi winning the title is suddenly this huge emotional moment, especially in her hometown.
That being said, I think Carmella actually gets the title here. WWE has a very strong tendency to throw in a major curveball and this seems to be a great option. While I think they’ll throw in some names as there’s no guarantee that the match will be limited to six, I don’t think any of the surprises (whoever they may be) will win the title. I’ll take Carmella in the swerve of the night.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown – March 28, 2017: Flying Sparks From Mouths and Graves
Smackdown Date: March 28, 2017
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga
It’s the final Smackdown before Wrestlemania and that means…..well likely it means a bunch of promos and a few matches here and there but that’s standard operating procedure for this time of year. I’d expect a big push towards Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt and some more names being announced for the battle royal so let’s get to it.
No Mauro again, though now we know why (having a severe bout of depression apparently so hopefully he’s getting the rest/treatment he needs).
Here’s Daniel Bryan to get us going with a contract signing between AJ Styles and Shane McMahon. Shane says this place is supposed to be somewhere families can come and be entertained with AJ as a major part of that. Personal feelings aside, Shane knows AJ is phenomenal. AJ agrees, but Shane keeps going by saying it was AJ’s ego that got him in trouble. It was his ego that cost him the WWE Championship and got inside his head because he wasn’t on the Wrestlemania card (I’d think he has a right to be angry over that one).
Shane is ready for him though and knows he’ll bring out the best in AJ. The boss signs and AJ reminds him that this isn’t going to be a street fight but rather a regular match, where Styles in untouchable. AJ lists off some of the greats that Shane has been in the ring with but none of them were the Phenomenal AJ Styles. The contract is signed and the table is tossed but Bryan stops things just in time. He asks for a handshake and Shane is willing but AJ walks away smiling.
Becky Lynch vs. Carmella
Alexa Bliss and Mickie James are on commentary and James Ellsworth does Carmella’s entrance. For some reason Carmella gives Ellsworth her gum and runs away from the threat of a kick to the ribs. As Carmella goes after Becky, Bliss and James get in a fight which spills into the ring. Both of them wind up hitting Carmella and that’s a DQ (which will be treated as a no contest because WWE doesn’t quite understand the basic rules of wrestling) at 2:13.
Becky Lynch/Mickie James vs. Carmella/Alexa Bliss
Joined in progress with Mickie hitting Bliss with a running dropkick for two. Becky comes in to a nice pop but Carmella tags herself in, sending Bliss into some screeching. Bliss offers a bit of a distraction though and Mickie gets kicked down as the heels take over. Did Mickie ever turn face? She doesn’t really need to but it would be a nice plot point to clarify.
Bliss grabs a chinlock but here’s Natalya down the ramp as we take a break. Back with Natalya on commentary and Bliss charging into an elbow in the corner. The hot tag brings in Becky, who Natalya calls a Pippi Longstocking knockoff. That’s not enough for Natalya as she gets on the apron for a distraction, allowing Ellsworth to trip Lynch up and give Carmella the pin at 9:12.
Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but the ending was the right call as I don’t think anyone is buying Carmella as a major threat to win the match on Sunday. Have her win here and give her a little momentum going into Wrestlemania and things will be a little more interesting.
The brawl continues post match until Naomi makes her return for the save. In case it wasn’t clear enough for you, Naomi officially announces her entrance into the Women’s Title match.
Tyler Breeze, as Nikki Bella, offers his services for the Women’s Title match. Bryan says no but Fandango comes in and they get spots in the Andre Battle Royal, plus in a ten man tag with some other participants tonight. Not a bad parting gift.
Here are Miz and Maryse for MizTV. Tonight we get a special treat: the rest of the “lost” Total Bellas episodes (if Miz isn’t Bryan this time, I’ll be rather disappointed). After a recap of last week, Miz (as Cena) yells about people being late for dinner. Miz has some issues with reading his cue cards until Maryse (playing Nikki) starts talking about the pitter patter of little feet. This brings in the other guests: Maryse as Brie and MIZ AS BRYAN!!!
Daniel, with a huge beard, needs a phone book to sit on and the couple brags about marriage. Daniel isn’t happy with having steak but is pleased with his juicebox. Cena reads off the rules for how to eat and, again, it’s hilarious given how robotic Cena comes off on Total Bellas. Another fake proposal sees John demand that Nikki take her rules seriously. This time Nikki asks John to marry her and it’s to be continued.
Part two is after a break with Cena saying no because it would damage his brand. He’s hustled the fans by convincing them he’s something he’s not. He’s loyal to himself and he only respects money. Cena can never give up because someone more deserving, such as Miz, will take his spot away. You can’t see him because there’s no real person to be seen. Miz and Maryse flip the costumes away and promise to make Wrestlemania their curtain calls.
Without WWE, Cena can just lumber around and pretend to be a star. After Wrestlemania, everyone will know that their lives are total BS. This was great serious stuff to go with the comedy, which isn’t a surprise from these two anymore. Back in the arena, here are Cena and Bella to respond. Cena makes fun of everything Miz did and says sure Nikki and Brie have moments where they’re too dumb to tell each other apart (the fact that this is considered ok might sum up my entire issue with reality TV).
After the praise, Cena asks how Nikki could hold Maryse out of WWE if she’s here now? Maybe Maryse wasn’t asked back because she didn’t do anything in her first run (What exactly did Nikki do in her first run John? Maryse had two Divas Titles to Nikki’s one and was a far better character and worker. I know why he said it but that doesn’t make it true.).
Next we have Miz’s Hollywood theory for Cena, but John is more brand loyal than anyone other than Vince McMahon and no one can get rid of him. Miz leaves to make movies of his own but only ones Cena made first. That’s what Cena can’t get: what is Miz doing here anyway? There’s a Women’s Revolution going on right now and last week, Nikki beat up Tyler Breeze (Can we never bring that up again?) and Miz is using Maryse to get on Total Divas. Oh and how many kids do Miz and Maryse have? Cena: “You firing blanks there sport?”
Cena calls them all talk because Miz never knows how to stop running his mouth. John rips off the gear so he’s here man to man and promises to destroy Miz and Maryse on Wrestlemania. If you want to talk tough, you better be tough but Miz is a p***y. Miz is offered a free shot but the villains back away again. Nikki promises a beating on Sunday to wrap things up.
This was OUTSTANDING stuff and again some of the best talking Miz has ever done. While Miz and Maryse have been nailing the story from the beginning, this was the first time I really bought Cena’s rebuttal. Basically Cena had been saying Miz didn’t know himself but now Cena actually had some examples to really hammer the point home. I’m looking forward to the match and I’m actually buying Miz and Maryse having a chance, which is a lot more than I was expecting. Nikki beating Maryse would be far more acceptable than Cena beating Miz, but you can probably pencil in the stereo submissions.
American Alpha/Mojo Rawley/Heath Slater/Rhyno vs. Usos/Breezango/Dolph Ziggler
All ten of them will be in the battle royal. Jordan and Ziggler start things off with an amateur sequence on the mat and Dolph is just in over his head. Gable comes in to take over on Ziggler’s arm and it’s off to Slater for more of the same. Rhyno adds a belly to belly as this is one sided so far.
Back from an early break with Gable getting taken into the wrong corner so Fandango can come in for two off a hard whip into the corner. I know he’s a low level guy but maybe an improvement in offense would help. Jimmy dives over to break up the tag but Gable drops him as well, meaning it’s off to the (near) hometown boy with Rawley cleaning house. A parade of superkicks is capped off with Rhyno Goring Ziggler, followed by Rawley’s running right hand knocking out Breeze at 11:00.
Rating: D+. Did Breeze run over Vince’s dog or something? At least he lost to a power move from a power wrestler this time instead of being beaten up by Nikki Bella. This was a fun way to help set up the battle royal and even though none of these people have a chance, I can appreciate throwing in some false hope.
Luke Harper has seen the truth: he doesn’t need Bray Wyatt. Bray should run.
We run down the Wrestlemania card. Naomi is officially added to the Smackdown Women’s Title match, which has been moved to the pre-show. As a bonus, the Raw Tag Team Titles match will now be a ladder match.
We see Bray doing…..something to Orton with that stick thing last week. Yeah I’m still not sure what that was, though multiple masked men helping him is interesting.
Bray Wyatt vs. Luke Harper
Non-title and Harper is now in a clean black shirt. Dang he really is mixing it up. Bray starts fast with the running body attack but gets dropkicked out to the floor and punched in the face. Harper throws him over the barricade and we take an early break. Back with Luke escaping the release Rock Bottom, only to have Bray block the powerbomb. That means the Rock Bottom can connect, only to have Sister Abigail broken up. Luke gets in the suicide dive and a big boot is good for two. Back up and Bray goes into trance mode, freezing Luke long enough for Sister Abigail to put him away at 8:33.
Rating: D. Yeah I really wasn’t feeling this one and I really would have preferred Harper being allowed to get a title shot after a few weeks’ build. This could have been something special but it was still the same Bray hypnosis bit (Now I want to watch an Osirian Portal match.) with Harper losing the big match. He’s starting to make me think of Cesaro and that’s not a good thing.
Post match Orton appears on screen, kneeling over Sister Abigail’s grave. Bray has claimed that Abigail gave her powers to him but Orton pulls out the same weapon used on him last week (How did he get that?) and stabs the dirt. Orange sparks fly out to end the show on a rather dumb note.
Overall Rating: C. This was an acceptable go home show but as is so often the case with WWE, it’s all over the place. First of all, you have a classic segment with Cena vs. Miz. Those two have some very underrated chemistry together and I’ve liked their stuff since all the way back in 2009. I’m not crazy on the mixed tag but they’ve really brought me around on it.
On the other hand though, WWE slipped on two major matches: the Orton vs. Wyatt match with the really stupid ending and Corbin vs. Ambrose with the really stupid lack of everything. You would think they could at least have a promo (like they had on Talking Smack) but in this case, there wasn’t as much that could be cut.
Finally, the Women’s Title match being moved to the pre-show is fine and if nothing else it eliminates a bunch of entrances that would take up pay per view time. As great as Alexa has been, I’m fine with them just being on the pre-show as it’s not like people are really dying to see this one.
Overall, Smackdown should be fine on Sunday though I’m a bit worried about how well Orton vs. Wyatt is going to go. If they do a hard hitting, back and forth match, everything will be fine and it’ll come close to match of the night. If they do something stupid with Sister Abigail appearing…..well it might be better than Orton getting the title, though I’m not sure he will. Anyway, fine go home show but Sunday is still a potential big misfire for reasons beyond Smackdown’s control.
Results
Carmella b. Becky Lynch via DQ when Alexa Bliss and Mickie James interfered
Carmella/Alexa Bliss b. Becky Lynch/Mickie James – Rollup to Lynch
Mojo Rawley/Heath Slater/Rhyno/American Alpha b. Usos/Breezango/Dolph Ziggler – Running right hand to Breeze
Bray Wyatt b. Luke Harper – Sister Abigail
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the NXT: The Full Sail Years Volumes I and II, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:
Smackdown Date: March 7, 2017
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Mauro Ranallo, Tom Phillips, David Otunga
We’re down to four shows left before Wrestlemania XXXIII and tonight we’re likely finding out who is challenging for the Smackdown World Title. I know you might have heard that one before but this time seems to be the real thing. Tonight AJ Styles faces Randy Orton for the title shot against Bray Wyatt at the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.
We open with a long recap of Randy Orton joining Bray Wyatt, seemingly with the intent to betray him later. That led us to last week where Orton burned Bray’s barn down, presumably destroying Sister Abigail’s grave in the process. I know I’m older than the average fan, but in my day, felonious arson recorded on tape wouldn’t be seen as a face turn.
Here are Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan to get things going. They’re not sure who should get the title shot as Daniel thinks it should be Orton while Shane prefers Styles. Bryan talks about how the winner of the Royal Rumble has to get the shot. Shane says no one has ever given up their shot like Orton did (Orton would be the third I believe). This leads to more recaps and the fans seem to like the idea of Styles getting the shot. Therefore, tonight we’re having a match for the #1 contendership. This too quite a bit longer than necessary.
Post break AJ gets in the bosses’ faces and says he’s tired of this anti-AJ conspiracy. AJ makes it clear that he’s not afraid of fire.
James Ellsworth/Carmella vs. John Cena/Nikki Bella
Before the match, Ellsworth says he beat AJ Styles three times in a row and it took Cena three times to get his first win. That makes Ellsworth the mack daddy of Smackdown! The women start and here are Miz and Maryse at the bell. The distraction lets Carmella get in a superkick and we take an early break.
Back with Miz and Maryse on commentary and Nikki kicking Carmella to the floor. There’s the hot tag off to Cena and Ellsworth has to come in. Ellsworth slaps him in the face and gets ProtoPlexed. Carmella gets in Cena’s face and eats a forearm, setting up a double Shuffle, stereo AA/Rack Attack 2.0 and double STF’s for the tap at 7:11.
Rating: D. This was completely not about the match of course and there’s nothing wrong with that. The idea here is to set up the mixed tag at Wrestlemania and having Cena and Bella dominate a couple of goons in their first match together is fine. This accomplished a goal and that’s all it needed to do.
Miz and Maryse lay them out post match with Miz going on a rant about how he and Maryse have been the real first couple of WWE for a year now and it sickens him to see someone pretend to have real love for the sake of promoting their brands. Maryse throws the mic at Bella and we’re out.
Orton suggests that AJ run.
Rick Rude Hall of Fame announcement.
Curt Hawkins is in the ring to call out Dean Ambrose for attacking him before their match last week. Ambrose comes out and sends Hawkins packing before saying he wanted to call out Baron Corbin. Baron pops up on screen to say Ambrose should enjoy what he has while he has it. Whenever Corbin wants to, he’s taking what Dean values most. Ambrose heads to the back but stops to give Hawkins Dirty Deeds on the floor.
Women’s History Month video on Trish Stratus and Lita.
Post break, Ambrose is looking for Corbin.
Mojo Rawley, in a suit, says he wants his Wrestlemania moment. Therefore, he’s announcing his entrance into the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Dolph Ziggler comes up and says Mojo has to earn that kind of a moment. Mojo: “Is that why you don’t have one?”
Dean is still looking for Corbin when Baron jumps him with a pipe to the knee and another shot to the chest. Corbin: “You found me!” Dean: “All right. Good talk!” Corbin kicks him again for saying something that stupid. Baron finds a forklift and lowers the lift onto Dean’s chest. Every the geniuses, the referees try to lift it off of him until one of them wakes up and presses the UP button.
Here are Alexa Bliss and Mickie James for a chat. Bliss is here to announce her opponent for Wrestlemania but first, let’s talk about who it won’t be. It’s not going to be Naomi because she’s off feeling the ow. It won’t be Nikki Bella, who is in the trainers’ room being nursed back to help by her square jawed superman. It won’t be Carmella with her weird chin. It won’t be Chuckie, who you all know as Becky Lynch.
Bliss has gotten rid of her over and over and she just keeps coming back (I hear Rick Steiner has experience in that area.). Cue Becky to says he has a Beclaration (Becky: “You don’t have to call it that. I’ve done better.”) to say she’s taking the title back at Wrestlemania.
This brings out Natalya to tell Beaker to step aside. Natalya thinks Becky is out of her and Alexa’s league but Alexa thinks Natalya has been getting into the catnip. See, Natalya is the worst there is, the worst there was and the worst there ever will be. Mickie grabs the mic and says Becky and Natalya are ruining this moment.
Of course it’s going to be Mickie getting the title shot but Alexa doesn’t seem to agree. Becky points out that she beat Mickie twice last week. Alexa: “See….what had happened was…”. Natalya calls Mickie ugly and here’s Daniel Bryan to break it up. He and Shane heard Alexa call herself the greatest woman on the Smackdown roster and there’s only one way to find out if that’s true. Therefore, it’s going to be Alexa defending against the entire division at Wrestlemania. As for tonight, let’s have a holla holla (Daniel’s words) tag match.
Natalya/Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss/Mickie James
Joined in progress with Bliss shoving Natalya and getting slapped in the face for her efforts. Natalya does her stepover into the basement dropkick (clearly missed) for two and it’s off to Becky via a somewhat forceful tag. Mickie comes in as well and takes a few dropkicks, followed by a Becky nip-up. It’s back to Bliss who throws Becky down by the hair for two as JBL wants to know what kind of a match Bliss will be defending her title in (it was never specified).
A quick trip to the floor goes badly for Lynch and we take a break. Back with Lynch still getting double teamed and James grabbing a chinlock. Becky finally throws Alexa away but she opts to clothesline Mickie instead of tagging out. Natalya doesn’t care for this and comes in with a German suplex on her partner (the fans seem surprised that a heel would do a heelish thing) before walking out. Bliss tags herself in and steals the pin at 12:45.
Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but the angle advancement at the end was fine. The title match is going to be a huge mess but you have to expect that at a Wrestlemania. I’d much rather it be Becky vs. Bliss for the title, though that doesn’t exactly benefit the rest of the division on a very, very packed show.
Mickie kicks Bliss in the head post match.
We look back at the forklift incident. Ambrose has been taken to a medical facility with possibly broken ribs.
Austin Aries wants us to watch 205 Live.
AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton
The winner faces Bray Wyatt for the title at Wrestlemania. Before the match, AJ says he should be the champ again because he made the B show into the A show. Then you have Randy Orton who burned a man’s house down and is getting praised for it. No one is keeping him from being in the main event on the grandest stage of them all and making Wrestlemania phenomenal.
Orton tries the RKO in a hurry but AJ bails out to the floor. Back in and AJ grabs a chinlock before Orton sends him hard into the corner. Styles starts kicking at the knee and Orton falls out to the floor as we take a break. Back with AJ staying on the leg and grabbing a chinlock. Orton pops back up with a full nelson slam for one but gets caught in the Hoshi Geroshi for two.
The Calf Crusher goes on but Orton slowly crawls over to the ropes. Orton comes right back with the hanging DDT but AJ gets sent outside. That looks to set up the springboard 450 so Orton coils, only to have AJ springboard up but drop right back down to the apron in a good fakeout. The springboard 450 misses though and a pop up RKO sends Orton to the title match at 18:45.
Rating: B-. This was a bit more slow paced than you would expect but Orton winning was the most obvious ending since….well since Cena and Ellsworth were in the same match earlier tonight. Orton vs. Wyatt is the logical move and I’m sure we’re going to be seeing Styles vs. Shane (as in the guy who thought AJ should get the spot in the first place). I loved that fakeout spot though as it shows someone thinking in a match, which you just don’t see enough anymore.
Overall Rating: C+. Here’s a great example of a show that wasn’t about the wrestling. Tonight was about pushing stories forward towards Wrestlemania and building interest in them. I had a good time with the show and multiple matches were advanced. There’s a good feeling when Wrestlemania season is upon us and I’m getting fired up for the show. This was a good night and I had fun getting ready for Wrestlemania.
Results
Nikki Bella/John Cena b. Carmella/James Ellsworth – Double STF’s
Alexa Bliss/Mickie James b. Natalya/Becky Lynch – Bliss pinned Lynch after a German suplex from Natalya
Randy Orton b. AJ Styles – RKO
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Smackdown – February 21, 2017: But It’s A Battle Royal!
Smackdown Date: February 21, 2017
Location: Citizens Business Bank Arena, Ontario, California
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga. Tom Phillips, Mauro Ranallo
It’s a double shot tonight as we have a pair of big gimmick matches to get us further along the Road to Wrestlemania. First up it’s Natalya vs. Nikki Bella in a falls count anywhere match which should be the blowoff to their feud. Other than that it’s a ten man battle royal with the winner getting the World Title shot against Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania XXXIII. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s triple threat match for the Smackdown World Title and Randy Orton’s decision to turn down his title shot against Bray Wyatt.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Daniel Bryan to get things going. We’re forty days from Wrestlemania and the road to get there is full of twists and turns. He brings out Women’s Champion Naomi, who has been given a week to either give the title back to Alexa Bliss or face her in a rematch. We actually get the YOU DESERVE IT chants and come on now. Wyatt was a stretch for that but NAOMI? She gets a chant about how hard she’s worked to get here? Give me a break.
It turns out that she’s injured and isn’t going to be able to defend her title. Naomi talks about how life can change in such a hurry because she was on top of the mountain a week ago and now she’s looking up from the bottom. She hands over the title and says she’s probably out of Wrestlemania as well.
However, she’s going to be back to take the title from whomever is borrowing it in her absence. Naomi leaves and here’s Alexa Bliss to laugh about the performance. With Naomi gone, Bliss says that she should be the champion since she never got her rematch. Bryan doesn’t think so and the title is going to be on the line RIGHT NOW.
Women’s Title: Becky Lynch vs. Alexa Bliss
The title is vacant coming in. Becky starts fast with some rollups but gets kneed in the ribs and we hit the choking on the ropes. Bliss’ basic offense continues until a quick Bexploder sends her outside as we take a break. Back with Becky getting two off a missile dropkick, which of course warrants a crowd reaction shot. Bliss gets in a quick shot to the throat for the pin (while holding trunks) and the title at 9:03 in an ending that is as sudden as it sounds.
Rating: D+. The ending really hurt things here as it just came and went without any real build to it. Bliss winning the title makes sense as this felt like a quick match for the pure sake of giving the title back to Alexa. To be fair, it’s not like she should have lost the thing in the first place. At least it’s back where it should be now.
Mickie James comes down to celebrate and gets in a fight with Becky.
Dean Ambrose wants his chance to main event Wrestlemania back and if he gets to break Baron Corbin’s legs in the process, so be it.
Kalisto wants to be in the main event so tens of thousands of people can chant LUCHA LUCHA LUCHA.
Miz runs down his resume and thinks being in the main event of Wrestlemania should be added.
Natalya is ready to expose Nikki Bella as a fraud.
Breezango vs. American Alpha
Non-title with Breezango jumping them at the bell. A double kick to Jordan’s head puts him in trouble. That lasts all of thirty seconds as Jordan gets over for the tag, setting up the Steiner Bulldog for the pin on Fandango at 1:45.
The Usos show up in the crowd to say they’re coming for the titles. Just not tonight you see. A lot of trash is talked with threats of jumping Alpha from behind.
Black History Month video on Jackie Robinson.
AJ Styles says he’s going to Wrestlemania.
Dolph Ziggler superkicks the wall of the interview set.
Mojo Rawley is ready to win another battle royal.
Luke Harper is done obeying Bray Wyatt and after tonight, there’s nowhere left for Bray to run. These promos for the battle royal are a great touch and it’s even better that most of them have had a different backdrop (Harper was in the Wyatt area, Mojo was in the locker room, AJ was just backstage etc.). You don’t get these enough and they can do a lot of good in the span of thirty seconds.
Nikki Bella says after tonight, Natalya will be the broken Hart.
Nikki Bella vs. Natalya
Falls count anywhere. An early spear puts Natalya down and Nikki grabs her facebuster for an early two. It’s already table time (falls count anywhere means No DQ by definition) but Natalya baseball slides it into Nikki’s face. They quickly head over the barricade with Natalya doing You Can’t See Me for a nice touch.
Nikki comes back with a shot off the barricade and the Disaster Kick (looked great for a change) to put Natalya down for two. Back to ringside they go with Natalya getting in a few kendo stick shots before loading up the announcers’ table. Nikki fights out of a powerbomb attempt and gets in an Alabama Slam onto the table for a close two.
We come back from a break with Nikki getting to the ropes to break the Sharpshooter (which Natalya breaks, causing the announcers to accurately point out that she didn’t have to). Nikki no sells a suplex on the ramp and they head backstage with Nikki being sent into a conveniently placed Maryse.
Nikki sends her face first into a mirror for two of her own and it’s time to come back into the arena. Natalya can’t get the Sharpshooter as Natalya reverses into the Fearless Lock, only to have Maryse come out with a pipe to attack Nikki (really badly that is but at least she tried). Miz drags her off and Natalya gets the cheap pin at 14:02.
Rating: B-. The match had its good and bad moments but I liked it much more than I was expecting to. This was a better brawl than I was expecting and one of Nikki’s better matches, likely because it didn’t involve a ton of wrestling. Unfortunately it seems that we’re really getting that stupid mixed tag at Wrestlemania, even though I can’t imagine how they came to the conclusion that it’s the best possible idea.
Diamond Dallas Page Hall of Fame announcement.
Baron Corbin says he’s winning.
Apollo Crews says he’s winning.
Orton and Wyatt will be watching.
Battle Royal
Baron Corbin, Apollo Crews, Dolph Ziggler, The Miz, Luke Harper, Kalisto, AJ Styles, John Cena, Dean Ambrose, Mojo Rawley
The winner get the Wrestlemania title shot. After the long entrances, they waste no time in getting started with Ambrose and Corbin slugging it out in the corner. The fans are almost entirely split between Styles and Cena and you can tell they’re way into this instead of not really caring. Cena and Ziggler are both sent to the apron but quickly make it back in. A bunch of near eliminations go nowhere and Cena can’t get Corbin up for the AA.
We take a break and come back with Corbin as the only man standing. He tosses Rawley for the first elimination but eats a superkick from Ziggler. Kalisto gets up and starts kicking away until kind of botching what looked like a moonsault press to Dean. Ziggler and Kalisto both wind up on the apron and a pull of the mask sets up a superkick to eliminate Kalisto, getting us down to eight. Crews kicks Ziggler in the head though (DANG he healed from that knee injury in a hurry) and it’s down to seven. Ziggler chairs Kalisto though and Corbin tosses Crews, who chases Ziggler off with the chair.
We’re down to Corbin, Cena, Miz, Ambrose, Harper and Styles and it’s AJ having to flip out of the AA. Almost everyone hits a hard strike and it’s Miz in the middle of the ring, meaning it’s time for the running corner dropkicks all around. Cena pops up and backdrops Miz out, which is probably a way to keep setting up that stupid mixed tag.
Back from another break with Styles and Ambrose knocking each other down. Cena loads up the Five Knuckle Shuffle on Styles but walks into End of Days. Ambrose tosses Corbin from behind and is quickly pulled to the floor for another End of Days. With Cena staggering to his feet, Miz sneaks in and tosses him, with Cena leaving a bit too calmly.
So we’re down to Styles, Ambrose and Harper with Dean getting back inside. All three are quickly put on the apron for a three way slugout with Dean having to hang on very carefully. AJ gets on Dean’s shoulders and gets back in, allowing Harper to superkick Dean out to the floor, leaving us with two. Harper stays on the apron and pulls AJ over the top to the join him but they’re both back in a few seconds later. Luke suplexes him to the apron again but quickly follows him out there, only to have Harper pull him out at 22:22.
Rat…..Actually not so fast as the referees say Harper hit at the same time (it wasn’t even close and they’re not showing replays) so here’s Daniel Bryan for a ruling. The official decision is a draw so there’s no winner. However, we will determine a winner next week. Harper blasts AJ with the discus lariat and poses to a rather mixed reaction to end the show.
Rating: B. That ending really dragged things down as this was a heck of a battle royal leading up to the finish. Harper winning was the logical call here and I’m really not sure why they went with that double ending. From what I could tell, Harper’s feet were either on the apron or the steps when he landed but officially it was a tie. I don’t get that.
Wyatt and Orton pop up on screen to laugh at Harper to end the show. That also suggests that there’s no reason for AJ to have been involved in the ending like that.
Overall Rating: B-. I’m still trying to get over that ending as it really hurt what should have been a big moment. Unless they’re still trying to force AJ vs. Shane (who I don’t remember seeing recently) out of this, that should have been Harper winning clean. Still though, the rest of the show was good enough and it was certainly eventful but the Women’s Title change and the ending felt somewhere between forced and messy, neither of which are good.
Results
Alexa Bliss b. Mickie James – Rollup with a handful of trunks
American Alpha b. Breezango – Steiner Bulldog to Fandango
Natalya b. Nikki Bella – Pin after a pipe shot from Maryse
A battle royal went to a draw
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here: