We’re getting away from Summerslam now and the main story is Cena vs. Lesnar III has been announced for Night of Champions. Cena is back tonight and gets to address the situation for the first time on TV after Summerslam. We also have a Hall of Fame forum with people like Hogan, Flair and HBK talking about the upcoming match. Let’s get to it.

We’re opening with the Hall of Fame forum so here are Flair, Hogan and Shawn to get things going. Cole recaps the Summerslam match with Lesnar vs. Cena and asks Shawn first about the rematch. Shawn thinks Cena doesn’t have a chance and thinks it might be time for Cena to give it up. Hogan disagrees and thinks Cena can still go. Flair sides with Shawn and thinks Cena is the franchise, but doesn’t want to see John vs. Lesnar again.

Hogan says Hustle, Loyalty and Respect is the real Cena and hopes Cena wins. Flair agrees and Shawn says that they all like Cena but no one thinks he has a chance. Hogan brings up the match at Extreme Rules and says you can never rule Cena out, but Shawn says no one can take a beating like that. Flair doesn’t think Hogan believes that and here’s Cena for a rebuttal.

Cena says everyone in the WWE Universe thinks he has no chance and now a group of WWE Hall of Famers think the same thing. John talks about the respect he has for all three men in the ring with him, including saying there would be no Cena without Hulk Hogan. Cena was at Summerslam and felt every one of those suplexes. There is no way around this: Summerslam was a beating and a 100% beatdown. He addresses Shawn saying this can’t happen again and Cena says he won’t do it again. Instead he’ll take the fight to Lesnar and is ready for Night of Champions.

The first 100 hours of Nitro is coming to the Network next week. That would be about 1995/1996 or so.

Rusev vs. Jack Swagger

Swagger takes it right to him to start and grabs an early Patriot Lock, sending Rusev out to the floor. Back in and Swagger takes Rusev down before heading outside again. Rusev goes face first into the announcer’s table but he sends Swagger ribs first into the ropes back inside. We take a break and come back with Swagger fighting out of a bearhug but walking into a spinwheel kick. Swagger nails a belly to belly suplex to get a breather and follows up with a Vader Bomb. Rusev gets his foot up but gets caught in the Patriot Lock. He bites his hand to fight the pin but crawls over to the ropes.

Back to the floor with Rusev ramming him back first into the apron a few times. The Accolade is countered into the Patriot Lock again but Jack has to settle for a jackknife cover for two. The jumping kick to the ribs puts Swagger down and Rusev pounds away in the corner. Rusev shouts a lot but Swagger comes back with WE THE PEOPLE! The beating on the ropes continues and Swagger is in big trouble. The referee checks on swagger but Rusev keeps stomping. A hard standing kick to the chest drops Jack again and the referee stops it at 11:35.

Rating: C+. Well that happened. It’s basically the same thing we saw at Summerslam. The match was entertaining but they can’t have Rusev lose so Swagger continues to get beaten over and over. In theory we’re setting up Cena vs. Rusev as the ultimate American vs. foreigner showdown but we don’t need Swagger to lose over and over again to get there. It’s the same issue he’s had for months now: he loses over and over again despite getting close. Eventually you don’t buy the close matches and they’re just waiting for the ending.

After a break, Swagger is getting his ribs looked at when Bo Dallas comes in. He says Swagger let his country down again, but all he needs to do is Bo-lieve.

Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam

The winner gets Sheamus (on commentary) for the US Title, presumably at Night of Champions. Good to see that Van Dam is fine after getting DDT on concrete on Smackdown. Rob spins around to start and superkicks Cesaro into Rolling Thunder for two. Cesaro comes back with a right hand in the corner and we hit the cravate on Rob for a bit. A kick to the face drops Cesaro and sets up the split legged moonsault for two. The springboard kick to the face looks to set up the Five Star but Cesaro rolls to the floor. Back in and Cesaro picks up Rob for the Neutralizer and the pin at 3:38. It’s as abrupt as it sounds.

Rating: D+. The ending really hurt this as Cesaro just got back into the ring, kicked Rob in the ribs and Neutralized him for the title shot. Also, I have some issues with Rob beating Cesaro clean at Summerslam but then losing a match here to give Cesaro a title shot that easily. Why not have this match at Summerslam? The time and ending dragged this down a lot.

Post match Cesaro picks up the US Title and throws it back at Sheamus after a few seconds.

Network hype.

Natalya vs. Paige

Non-title again. Natalya gets a quick rollup for two but Paige nails her with a clothesline. They trade abdominal stretches before Natalya hooks a release German suplex. There’s the Sharpshooter but Paige crawls over to the ropes. Paige can’t hook the PTO and Natalya tries another Sharpshooter, only to get kicked in the face. The Paige Turner is good for the pin at 2:56.

AJ comes skipping out for a distraction and Natalya nails a discus lariat. The fans don’t react because that’s a very heelish thing to do after she got beat. AJ gets in the ring and helps Paige up, saying she’s sincere. She hugs Paige, freaking the champion out a bit. Now it’s a handshake offer but AJ has to lean over to grab her hand. She even kisses Paige’s hand and skips around a bit before leaving.

Kane introduces Seth Rollins to deliver Dean Ambrose’s eulogy. Rollins says he was the leader of the Shield. On to Dean, fear was never a factor for him. We get a clip of the match from last week with the Curb Stomp onto the conveniently placed cinder blocks. Rollins is curious about what went through Dean’s head as it was going down onto those blocks. How did Ambrose feel when he knew he was outmatched?

The blocks were there on purpose but Rollins wants to know what would have happened if Ambrose had known his place. As far as Rollins is concerned, he doesn’t think we’ll be seeing Ambrose again. He says he created the Shield….so here’s Roman Reigns. Kane goes after him and is easily sent into the steps. Reigns goes after Rollins but Kane makes the save and bails.

We look at the Hall of Fame forum again.

Goldust and Stardust want the Tag Team Titles and get their shot tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust

The Usos are defending and we get some big match intros. Stardust rolls Jimmy up for two to start but Jimmy does the same to him. It’s off to the arm work for a bit to give Stardust another two count. The champions are sent to the floor with the Dusts nailing big dives to take them down again. Back from a break with Jimmy fighting out of a chinlock from Stardust. Off to Goldust and both guys try cross bodies, setting up a double hot tag. Jey hammers on Stardust and knocks him out to the floor. A huge dive takes Stardust down but Jey hurts his knee and can’t get back in, drawing a countout at 7:40.

Rating: C-. This was starting to get good at the end but the countout stopped that cold. That’s two straight losses for the Usos against this team but they keep the titles against. That sounds like the start of a heel turn but it’s not how it’s coming off. Instead it’s more like they’re just kind of inept.

Post match Goldust says the Usos got counted out on purpose. They want to keep going and the Dusts turn evil by attacking the injured Uso. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Rollins is annoyed at Reigns so Kane uses the old standard handicap match.

We get a sitdown interview with Lesnar and Heyman. Brock says he came back to conquer the world and that’s what he did. He gave Cena an F5 right off the bat, allowing Cena to have the chance to quit. Instead Cena kept going and took a horrible beating. Heyman calls Cena challenging Brock to a rematch a horrible decision. Brock imitates Cena’s dad and talks about how he’ll have the chance to be a man….and then Brock Lesnar appeared. The idea of what’s coming to Cena at Night of Champions almost brings a tear to Brock’s eye.

Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz

Non-title. Miz comes out in street clothes and talks about not having to wait in line at Disneyland this morning. As for his match tonight, he’ll be stepping out for his stunt double.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Mizdow

Sandow is of course dressed as Miz. An early dropkick gets two for Ziggler but Sandow, now in all black, comes back with a clothesline and dropkick to the knee. He puts on the Figure Four (on the proper leg) but Ziggler turns over pretty quickly. Back up and the Zig Zag is good for the pin at 2:25.

It’s time for the third big in ring segment of the night as Lawler is hosting a Bella Twins reconciliation. We get a clip of Nikki saying Brie has cost them all their success and the big slap. Nikki comes out first in a tight black dress and moves her chair across the ring. Here’s Brie as well, again in her Brie Mode shirt. Brie gets all serious and asks Nikki to forgive her because this is bigger than WWE or Total Divas. Nikki doesn’t buy it and says she knows the real Brie.

She accuses Brie of holding her back and is sick of the family treating Brie better. Nikki insults Brie’s hair and her save the Earth lifestyle. This brings Nikki to the troll faced husband and how sick she is of supporting a sister that never cared about her. Nikki says Brie stole all her boyfriends when they were younger and the fans are really not interested.

We FINALLY get to the point of this: Brie quit and left Nikki alone to get beaten up week after week because she cared about getting herself over more than her sister. Brie starts crying and Lawler tries to intervene so Nikki tells the old man to get out. She wishes Brie died in the womb and throws her out of the chair. The beating is on until Lawler breaks it up. Nikki slaps him off camera and the referees finally make the save.

Hall of Fame forum again.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins/Kane

Kane is knocked over the top almost immediately and Reigns goes after Seth. The monster gets back up and helps his partner to take over but Rollins is backdropped to the floor. Reigns hammers on Kane in the corner and nails the apron kick for good measure. The Superman Punch is countered but Reigns hits the spear, only to get nailed with the briefcase for the DQ at 2:40.

The beating continues post match and Kane has more cinder blocks ready at ringside. Reigns is able to fight out of it though and Superman Punches Rollins instead. Kane is sent “into” the post (clearly missing by a good six inches) and Roman picks up a cinder block. It hits the post instead of Rollins’ head but the Superman Punch lays out Kane. Rollins bails and looks terrified.

Bray Wyatt thinks Cena’s shell is cracked after his fight with Brock Lesnar. He’ll put Cena out of his misery tonight. It’s nicer on the other side.

Los Matadores vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neal

Before the match, Slater and Titus argue over which superhero they both are. Diego hits a quick spinning cross body for two on Slater, allowing Fernando to come in with a slingshot hilo for two more. Back up and a hurricanrana sends Slater down, setting up an armbar. Slater finally gets in a shot to the face and makes the taag off to Titus for some backbreakers. Heath reluctantly comes back in for a chinlock and a clothesline before tagging out. The makeshift team keeps hammering away until Diego grabs a crucifix for the pin on Slater out of nowhere at 4:00.

Rating: D. Another dull match here but it’s kind of nice to have a match instead of a long talking segment in the ring. Slater and O’Neil are fine for a thrown together tag team, though I wouldn’t mind them winning a match. Or a better name than Slater Gator. I’m also shocked that Los Matadores lasted this long.

Hall of Fame forum x4.

Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

Kofi fires off kicks and a rollup to start. Bo comes back with a running knee to the ribs but Kofi does his mounted punches in the corner. Dallas avoids a charge in the corner and hits the Bodog for the pin at 1:40.

Bo says his usual post match but Swagger comes in and slams him.

John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt

Bray just appears in the ring instead of doing an entrance. We don’t even get the lantern shot. Cena takes him right into the corner to start and nails him with a hard running clothesline. A German suplex puts Bray down again and Wyatt looks shocked. Another German suplex does the same and Bray is in trouble. John hammers on Bray in the corner and hits a hard running knee to the head as this is totally one sided. There’s another German suplex but Bray elbows out of a fourth. There’s a running splash in the corner but Cena takes him down and hammers away, drawing in Harper and Rowan for the DQ at 4:28.

Rating: D+. I get the idea here but I REALLY don’t like them doing this to Wyatt when he’s coming off a big win at Summerslam. I mean….do this to Rowan or Harper but leave Wyatt himself out of something like that. The match could have been worse and the story makes sense, but it should have been against someone who could absorb a loss like this. Del Rio would have been perfect had he not bailed.

Big Show and Mark Henry run out and I smell a six man after the break.

Big Show/Mark Henry/John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

Joined in progress after a break with Big Show dropping an elbow on Rowan. Henry comes in off the top for more big man offense but gets nailed by Harper. We hit the chinlock for a bit before it’s back to Wyatt for some big right hands. Rowan slams Henry in an impressive power display but charges into a boot in the corner.

The hot tag brings in Big Show to clean house, only to have Harper dropkick him down. Rowan comes in and kicks Big Show as well before it’s back to Wyatt for the backsplash and two. Another kick to the face gets two for Harper but Bray gets another tag and walks into a chokeslam. The tag brings in Cena for German suplexes all around and the STF to make Harper tap at 6:55.

Rating: D+. There were some nice moments here from Cena with the power displays, but this might as well have been Cena in a handicap match. I get the idea and I’m MUCH happier with Harper taking a fall that isn’t going to hurt him as opposed to Bray, who has potential in the future. Not much to see here though as Cena getting the win was obvious.

All three Wyatts get AA’s post match.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s very clear that WWE cannot handle doing a three hour show every week with the talent roster they have right now. Between the CONSTANT replays and rematches, it’s clear that they just don’t have the depth to pull this off. The matches were mostly short too and stretching them out would have helped a lot. I’m not asking for Thesz vs. Funk here, but take those three minute matches and make them six minutes. It takes away the need for so many recaps to fill in time and gives you a better show. This wasn’t the worst episode ever, but it felt like it was dragging itself to a conclusion.

Results
Rusev b. Jack Swagger via referee stoppage
Cesaro b. Rob Van Dam – Neutralizer
Paige b. Natalya – Paige Turner
Goldust/Stardust b. Usos via countout
Dolph Ziggler b. Damien Mizdow – Zig Zag
Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins and Kane via DQ when Rollins hit Reigns with the briefcase
Los Matadores b. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil – Crucifix to Slater
Bo Dallas b. Kofi Kingston – Bodog
John Cena b. Bray Wyatt via DQ when the Wyatt Family interfered
John Cena/Big Show/Mark Henry b. Wyatt Family – STF to Harper

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

We’re already on the way to Night of Champions and the main story is going to be Cena vs. Lesnar III. Lesnar destroyed Cena on Sunday so now the question is how can Cena survive. Other than that we might be in for an update on Ambrose’s condition after his head was crushed against a conveniently placed pile of cinder blocks. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Summerslam. I believe this is the same one we saw on Monday.

Tom Phillips from NXT has joined the announcers’ booth.

Here’s Randy Orton to get things going. He says that just winning a battle doesn’t mean you win the war. One match doesn’t define either himself or Roman Reigns. He’s been a legend killer, an apex predator and the Viper, but he’s never been a loser. This just made him that much more focused, which leads to things like this happening.

We see Orton RKOing Reigns through the announcers’ table last month. Reigns will get what’s coming to him at some point but first up, Orton has a match with Rob Van Dam. RVD is nothing but collateral damage. He’ll be an example of what happens to anyone that crosses his path. Orton demands the fans’ respect and poses to cap off a quick promo.

Jack Swagger vs. Seth Rollins

Rollins shakes Orton’s hand on the way to the ring. Before the match we get a long package on Ambrose vs. Rollins from Monday night. This was actually set up on Main Event with Rollins saying Swagger has been dropping the ball. Swagger quickly takes Rollins down with a nice amateur move but Seth bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and Seth puts a bodyscissors on the bad ribs but Jack fights up with the powers of America. Rollins goes to the middle rope but dives into a belly to belly suplex.

Jack gets kicked in the ribs again and we take a break. Back with Swagger hitting a wheelbarrow suplex and getting all fired up. The Vader Bomb connects but he re-injures the bad ribs. Swagger backdrops Rollins to the apron but gets kicked in the head for his efforts. Rollins dives into a quickly broken Patriot Lock. Both guys fall to the floor and the Patriot Lock goes on again. Seth rolls away though and Swagger accidentally posts himself. Swagger rolls back in but Rollins nails a Curb Stomp to send him back outside for the countout at 6:50 shown of 10:20.

Rating: C. The match was nothing special but the most important thing here is the addition of a new midcard guy for the main eventers to beat. Yeah Swagger has been in this spot for awhile but the new character makes him feel fresh instead of the same guy that has lost over and over again.

Post match Bo Dallas comes out to tell Swagger the usual. Dallas is willing to pick up the pieces and become the new American sweetheart.

Video on the Bellas splitting and the slap from Raw.

Miz is on the phone ordering a latte when Kane comes up. Miz: “Unless this is about my sequel for the Intercontinental Title, talk to my agent.” Kane doesn’t like the sequel line so he makes Miz vs. Reigns again for tonight. Miz rubs his face in a funny bit.

Rusev vs. Sin Cara

Rusev pounds him down in the corner but Cara actually gets in some shots to the bad ankle. A missile dropkick puts Rusev down but he comes back with the jumping superkick. Accolade and we’re done at 1:53.

Lana talks trash post match but Mark Henry comes out to chase the evil foreigners off.

RVD is in the back with Renee Young and says Orton needs to chill out. Orton pops up from behind and nails Van Dam. He tells Renee to tell Van Dam that he’ll be waiting at the ring.

Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton

Van Dam charges to the ring but calms down long enough for the opening bell. Orton takes over very quickly and stomps Rob down in the corner. The springboard kick to the jaw drops Orton and he gets clotheslined out to the floor. A big flip dive puts Orton down again but Van Dam misses the spinning apron kick. Randy throws him into various objects, including the steps over and over. The match is thrown out at 2:57.

Randy plants him with an Elevated DDT on the concrete and an RKO onto a chair, likely writing Van Dam off TV. That’s DDT is the same move that originally put Van Dam out back in 2007.

Reigns says he knows what Orton and the Authority are capable of. He saw what Rollins did to Ambrose and promises revenge. Orton talked about methodically decimating him, right until Reigns speared him in half. If that’s what Orton wants, it’s fine with Reigns.

Natalya vs. Paige

Non-title. They trade smacks to the face to start with Natalya taking over via a butterfly suplex to send Paige outside. A baseball slide puts her down again but Paige nails her in the face. Natalya gets posted and Paige does the slow crawl back in the ring. We hit a bodyscissors on the Canadian but here’s AJ for the traditional distraction. She takes the Divas Title and skips around the ring, allowing Natalya to grab a rollup for two. AJ leaves with the title but lays it down so Paige can take it back. She comes back in and walks into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 3:55, even though she was inches from the ropes.

Rating: D+. Well at least it wasn’t the usual way of distracting the champion. I’m hoping Natalya at least gets a PPV title match of her own out of this instead of another lame triple threat. Paige vs. AJ is a feud that needs to have some more creative developments, but that’s the same for every long feud anymore.

Goldust/Stardust vs. Wyatt Family

Stardust jumps over his brother to start with Harper. Luke drives him into the corner and hammers away before getting caught by the drop down uppercut. Harper rakes the eyes across the ropes and it’s off to Rowan who lets Stardust make a blind tag to Goldie. Rowan slugs him down in the corner and we take a break.

Back with Harper throwing Goldust across the ring before Rowan comes in for a hard slam. A legdrop gets two and it’s back to the evil corner for Goldust. There’s the Gator Roll from Harper but Goldust gets to the middle rope for a hurricanrana. Harper slugs him right back down and nails a sitout powerbomb for two. Stardust comes in without a tag and the distraction lets Goldust roll up Harper at 6:04 shown of 9:34.

Rating: C-. What the heck has happened to the Wyatts? They went from the hottest team on the roster to this in less than two months. So I guess the Dusts are now the new “it” team, even though Henry/Big Show were last week. Odds are it’s a fourway title match coming up because that’s the go to move for most of the titles.

The Wyatts beat up the brothers post match, including Harper throwing an announcer’s chair at Stardust.

We get a clip from Main Event where HHH announces Lesnar vs. Cena III at Night of Champions.

Here’s the title presentation and Heyman promo from Raw to eat up a lot of time.

Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Orton comes out to watch just after the bell. Reigns sends Miz into the corner to start and hits a Samoan drop. Miz gets in a running knee but Roman easily escapes the Skull Crushing Finale. A spear ends Miz at 2:06. Squash.

Reigns tells Orton to bring it on and the fight is on. They head outside with Orton being sent into the steps and the German announcers’ table. Randy comes back with some chair shots and takes the chair inside. The RKO through the chair is countered though and Reigns nails him with the chair. A Superman Punch sends Orton to the floor to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The wrestling wasn’t the best here but the action and storytelling stuff was solid enough. This was a VERY quick two hours and that’s more than you can say about the three hour Raw. They didn’t let anything stay out there long enough to drag and it was a good fallout show from Summerslam. More than anything else though, we saw the Bellas ONCE. That’s such a nice change of pace.

Results
Seth Rollins b. Jack Swagger via countout
Rusev b. Sin Cara – Accolade
Rob Van Dam vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest
Natalya b. Paige – Sharpshooter
Stardust/Goldust b. Wyatt Family – Rollup to Harper
Roman Reigns b. The Miz – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

The main story continues to be Breeze vs. Neville and the long build is actually working for me. Both guys are on fire at the moment and we’re just waiting on the time when Breeze cashes in his title shot. Other than that we’re in need of some new challengers for the Ascension. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Tyler Breeze vs. Angelo Dawkins

Dawkins takes him down with a nice amateur move but Breeze reverses him into the corner for a stomping. They head to the floor with Breeze still in control (Breeze: “YOU’RE NOT GORGEOUS!”) before a Beauty Shot gets Breeze the pin at 1:08.

Post match Breeze says that was annoying because he didn’t plan to have a match. He was just out here to show us a clip of him costing Neville the match last week. However, he has a monumental announcement: he has submitted his music video for Academy Award consideration in the Best Documentary category. Fans: “THANK YOU TYLER!”

Breeze wants to show it again but here’s Adrian Neville instead. He doesn’t want to watch the video but wants to know when Breeze will be taking his title shot. Tyler says the director of the Hobbit needs Neville back on set. Adrian tops him by saying he got a Snapchat from Tyler’s mom and Tyler isn’t the only member of his family that likes to send selfies.

Natalya is glad that Adam Rose is back because he’s a fun guy to be around. Tyson Kidd, in a Mike Tyson hoodie for some reason, comes in and says Rose is a dancing fool. Natalya is annoyed so Kidd challenges Rose for later tonight.

There’s going to be a tournament for the #1 contendership for the Tag Team Titles starting next week.

Tyler Breeze has LEFT the building!

Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte

Non-title. Lynch is VERY different tonight with only the green attire staying. She comes out to a hard rock song with a lot of energy. Renee says it’s shades of Lita and I can see that. Charlotte takes her down to the mat but Lynch bridges out before kicking away from a leg lock. A springboard kick to the chest staggers Charlotte but she comes back with a Stunner to the leg and a few Robinsdale Crunches.

Charlotte stays on the leg and bends Lynch’s leg, only to be kicked away with the free leg. That doesn’t last long as Becky cannonballs down on the leg for two. Lynch comes back with a one footed dropkick and a legdrop, only to get caught in the Bow Down to the Queen for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Basically a long squash here with Charlotte destroying Lynch for most of the match. Above all else though, I’m glad she has a finisher that has nothing to do with the leg. The comparisons to Ric are already going to be there and there’s no reason to make her a copy. Lynch has a lot of potential with her charisma and look alone but I would have her win a few matches before losing to Charlotte.

Mojo Rawley needs a partner for the tournament and Bull Dempsey comes up and reluctantly offers to team up with him. He also threatens Rawley if he screws things up.

Ascension vs. Steve Cutler/Mac Miles

Miles has since been cut so I don’t think this is lasting long. Cutler tries a headlock on Viktor and is thrown away with ease. Konnor runs him over before a double shoulder crushes Cutler. The fans chant BABY BLUE as Konnor screams a lot. Miles is knocked off the apron and Fall of Man takes care of Cutler at 2:20. This was more of a squash than the Divas match.

Post match the Ascension says the tournament’s winners’ fate is total annihilation. The fans seem WAY into this.

Video on CJ Parker going after Xavier Woods. They meet again next week.

Mojo Rawley/Bull Dempsey vs. The Mechanics

The Mechanics are Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson. Dempsey and Dawson get things going and shove each other around until Mojo tags himself in for a wristlock on Scott. The Mechanics start making fast tags to work on Mojo’s arm but he drags Wilder over to the corner for a tag to Dempsey. Some corner splashes set up the Bulldozer for the pin on Wilder at 2:40.

Bayley is glad the BFFs broke up and reminds us that she beat Charlotte a few weeks ago. The champ comes up and mocks her a bit before telling Bayley to forget about all this nonsense.

Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd

Rose sends him into the corner to start but heads to the floor to flirt with Natalya. She gets a lollipop and seems to like it, only to tick Kidd off. He takes the lollipop from her and lays it on the mat before hammering on Rose as we take a break. Back with Rose getting kicked in the face and clotheslined out to the floor. Kidd posts him for two and drops a leg on the back of Rose’s head for two more.

A chinlock kills some time before Rose is tied up in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the ribs. Back to the chinlock but Rose powers out with a suplex. Adam fights back with some right hands and clotheslines followed by the running clothesline in the corner. Rose can’t hit the Party Foul but gets to the ropes to avoid a Sharpshooter. Tyson grabs the lollipop and yells at Natalya, allowing Rose to small package him for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: C-. I never got into this one and Kidd’s booking continues to take longer than it should. The match wasn’t terrible or anything but Rose is nothing more than a comedy character and probably shouldn’t be pinning Kidd. At some point Kidd is going to have to split from Natalya but it won’t be anytime soon I wouldn’t think.

Kidd is mad at Natalya to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The new cycle couldn’t get here soon enough. It’s very clear that they’re running out of steam and the matches aren’t all that good either. They really need something fresh and that’s the perk of NXT: we’re guaranteed that fresh idea next week as we enter the tournament and possibly the build to a new mega show. This week wasn’t terrible but there’s nothing especially good about it either.

Results
Tyler Breeze b. Angelo Dawkins – Beauty Shot
Charlotte b. Becky Lynch – Bow Down to the Queen
Ascension b. Steve Cutler/Mac Miles – Fall of Man to Cutler
Bull Dempsey/Mojo Rawley b. The Mechanics – Bulldozer to Wilder
Adam Rose b. Tyson Kidd – Small package

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

If Rollins was a step up, today is a leap down. Today is Hornswoggle.

Finlay/Little Bastard vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

Yeah it’s a mixed tag match with midgets. I’ll be calling him Horny here and he’s scared to death so he dives under the ring before the other team gets there. JBL says not to call him Little Bastard as his parents’ names are not Mr. and Mrs. Bastard. We go over Horny’s fear of little people as he hides under the ring. JBL: I don’t know what’s under there. There could be a whole colony of Lilliputians under there. HOLY FORESHADOWING BATMAN!

JBL is cracking me up here. “THAT IS THE RING I LOST THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TO JOHN CENA IN AND NOW THERE’S A LEPRECHAUN UNDER IT!!!” Boogeyman gets a fireman’s carry as this is a handicap match to start. JBL calls Cole a non-heterosexual Barry Horowitz. He keeps making jokes about their names and how absurd they are which is rather true.

Little Boogeyman comes in and gets some fat drops to have Finlay in trouble. And then he eats some worms. Horny finally comes in and rolls up his sleeves to fight. Finlay kicks the midget monster in the head. Little Boogeyman gets a small package on Finlay for two. JBL has no idea what to think. Finlay gets a short arm scissors and Little Boogeyman is tapping but it’s not acknowledged for some reason.

Horny pulls the other midget under the ring but when Finlay goes to find him he finds the regular (and I use that term loosely) Boogeyman. Boogey beats on Finlay and I have no idea what I’m watching. A Rocket Launcher from the Boogies gets two as Horny saves. Big Boogeyman chases him off with worms so Finlay can conk the midget with his club that is way too hard to spell for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible as I hate midgets, but the commentary here was absolutely hysterical. JBL’s deadpan rants about how stupid this was were so perfect and it worked the whole way. Luckily I think the Little Boogeyman was dropped soon after this. All of that being said, check this out for JBL alone.

Then this happened at Great American Bash 2007.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

Around this time, Hornswoggle was revealed to be Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. Vince being Vince, he decided that his son needed some tough love, including this match from Survivor Series 2007. as well as stripping him of the Cruiserweight Title.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

You know what’s better than one midget character? A BUNCH OF THEM! From January 14, 2008 on Raw.

Mini Royal Rumble

This is a five man match and it’s standard Rumble rules with thirty second intervals. The arena is full of smoke due to JBL’s previous segment. Hornswoggle and Mini Mr. Kennedy start. Kennedy can’t reach the microphone for the pre match bit in a comedy spot. Apparently Hornswoggle is already in the regular Royal Rumble along with Mick Foley. Horny gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle and Mini Mankind is in third. Kennedy stomps a mudhole in him as the fans are totally out of this.

Mankind is about a foot taller than everyone else but Horny blocks Socko and kicks him out. In a surprising power display, Hornswoggle presses Kennedy over the top rope, leaving him alone to face Mini Batista at #4. The rather chubby Batista hits a spear and does signature stuff but has the Batista Bomb countered. JR sounds miserable on commentary. Mini Kane is number five and is the shortest person in the match so far. He nails uppercuts all around but walks into the spinebuster and Batista Bomb.

Not that it matters as Horny kicks Batista low and dumps him, only for Kane to kind of sit up. A middle rope clothesline drops Horny and Kane sets up a chokeslam. JR: “Imagine the elevation.” Horny just glares at him with a look that says “Really?”. A Celtic Cross puts Kane down and there he goes, leaving Hornswoggle alone. Here comes the real Great Khali at #6, despite it being announced at five people. I smell a McMahon. Mini Batista attacks Hornswoggle from behind but Finlay makes the save with the club to knock Khali to the floor, which I guess counts as an elimination.

Rating: F. Oh just….no.

This whole thing had to lead to this. From February 11, 2008 on Raw.

Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon

No DQ. This is a result of Horny biting Vince last week instead of joining his club. Vince shoves him down to start and poses. Horny can’t reach Vince’s hands for a test of strength so Vince gets on his knees and offers a free shot. The arm is pulled back but Horny can’t do it at first.

That only lasts a few seconds until he finally slaps Vince, so the dad takes off his belt for a whipping. Finlay comes out to defend his buddy so Vince threatens to fire him and ruin Finlay’s family. Vince leans down to yell at Hornswoggle about what a coward Finlay is and shoves the litle guy down. Finlay blasts Vince in the head with the club and Horny hits a Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle instead of a match. For the life of me I’m not sure who thought this story was a good idea, but Kennedy getting Wellnessed caused us to have to sit through all this nonsense. Finlay never really got a big push out of it either, which is really kind of surprising.

It would soon be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father so the two formed a team. Here’s a Tag Team Title shot for them at Night of Champions 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Please make it short. They already did that didn’t they? Do I need to explain to you why this is a dumb match? And the fans pop for the challengers because that’s what Satan told them to do. The tall guy and the Monday Night Delight start us off. Ross and Foley are a weird pairing on commentary. Horny is listed at 4’4. Why did Vince wonder why we didn’t like the company in 08?

We do get a spot that I haven’t seen before as Morrison jumps over the rope and gets crotched on the ring skirt. I’ve never seen that before. Finlay starts throwing Horny into Miz and Morrison as a projectile. This is a comedy match that forgot the comedy. How weird is it to think that two years later Miz could be a potential MITB winner? I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it. Miz and Morrison were really starting to get good here but wouldn’t hit their stride for a few more months.

Horny comes in and beats up Miz, hitting a Stunner and a bulldog. None of these do anything of course since HE IS TINY. The problem becomes clear here very soon: the heels have to either beat up Horny or have him get the hot tag. Finlay beats up everyone after such a tag and the fans care for some reason. Horny goes up for the splash and Morrison finally realizes how stupid this is and more or less chokeslams him to the mat, ending this annoyance.

Rating: D. I mean seriously, it’s a midget and an old man against a good and young team. Was this really the best option they had? They wanted this to make this a serious match and it just completely failed. It was a hybrid comedy match and mess and just didn’t work. They wanted Horny to be something serious and it just didn’t work so of course they kept going with it forever.

We’ll jump ahead to April 21, 2009 when Hornswoggle was on ECW. This is his final appearance on the show before going to Raw and he said (remember that for later) that he wanted to wrestle. Tyson Kidd objected so here’s the result.

Natalya vs. Hornswoggle

Horny does a Warrior rope shake while Natalya makes fun of him. The test of strength spot annoys Hornswoggle again so he bites her tights and gets two off a spear. Tyson tries to interfere but Finlay cuts him off, allowing Horny to roll Natalya up for a quick pin.

Next up was a long and stupid feud against Chavo Guerrero Jr. where the guests hosts of Raw made one gimmick after another, including Chavo being having his arm tied behind his back or boxing. On July 27, 2009, he was blindfolded.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hornswoggle

A kick by Horny knocks Chavo to the floor and it takes awhile for him to get back in. We get the required cornering the referee spot before Horny gets two off a rollup. The little guy hammers away even more until Chavo pulls the hood up and hits a dropkick. He can’t see for the cover though and the crowd is already annoyed. Horny gets up but lays back down, so Chavo tries a frog splash. Horny goes to the apron, Chavo misses the splash, Tadpole Splash gets the pin. Chavo lost every single match in this feud.

We’ll jump ahead again as Hornswoggle didn’t wrestle full time. Next up is Smackdown, December 10, 2010. Hornswoggle had been named the official mascot of Smackdown and would face Jack Swagger’s mascot, the Swagger Soaring Eagle.

Hornswoggle vs. Soaring Eagle

Rosa comes out with Horny. The Eagle is billed at 6’0 tall and with a wingspan of 5’0. This is so stupid. Please make this be quick. Striker lists off facts about eagles before Horny pulls out a bag of, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, ACME (spelled wrong) birdseed. The eagle (allegedly Chavo) goes for it and gets kicked in the head. Rosa hands Horny a napkin which he tucks into his shirt and bites the Eagle’s leg.

Would anyone be opposed to some fast forwarding here? The Eagle misses Ballin (shoot me now….please) and the Tadpole Splash ends this at 2:28. Cole gets in two good lines at the end though. As Horny goes up for the splash, “GET OUT OF THE WAY! YOU’RE ENDANGERED!” and the second being singing Fly Like An Eagle by the Steve Miller Band, even though the Eagle wasn’t the one flying. Was there ANY point to this?

Another jump of nearly a year brings us to Smackdown, November 29, 2011. It’s the Holiday Special and Horny is in the Make A Wish battle royal, where the winner gets anything he wants.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

From later in the show.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

From Smackdown, April 19, 2013.

Great Khali/Natalya/Hornswoggle vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

We actually get a reason for this match: Epico/Primo/Rosa stole Horny’s parking spot earlier and there’s video to prove it. I’ve heard worse. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head but I’ve heard worse. Nattie takes Rosa down to start but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Rosa comes back with a kick to the back and a chinlock but Natalya fights back with a clothesline. Off to Epico and Khali with the giant hitting some hard chops in the corner. Primo tries to help but gets sent into the same corner as Epico for simultaneous chops. Horny annoys Rosa into a chase and Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge to pin Epico at 3:18.

Rating: D. Rosa was basically in half of a swimsuit and a vest so it doesn’t fail based on that alone. That’s about the extent of the good parts of the match though as none of these are people I care to see. At the end of the day they’re fighting over a parking lot, but how many people can’t get on television? Remarkable.

Hornswoggle would join 3MB in 2014 because COMEDY, leading to a feud with Los Matadores and their mascot El Torito. This set up Wee LC at Extreme Rules 2014.

Pre-Show: El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

This is the WeeLC match which exists for reasons beyond my comprehension and you win by pinfall/submission. There are mini versions of all three commentators, a mini referee and a mini ring announcer. Torito hammers away to start but dives onto the other Band members. Horny can’t manage a dive and Torito pulls out a chair. That’s no good for some reason so it’s off to a mini chair. A headstand in the corner sets up a Bronco Buster and here’s Mahal to interfere.

Torito crotches him on the top rope and sends Horny face first into Mahal’s groin. Horny takes Torito down and we get two sizes of stepladders brought in. Horny goes to the top of the bigger one but gets nervous so Torito lays down for him. Thankfully he moves when Horny tries a splash and we take a break. I really question the need for commercials for events airing on a service that I’ve already purchased to watch the show the commercials are airing on.

Back with 3MB and Los Matadores brawling on the floor. The commentators names: JB Elf, Jerry Smaller and Micro Cole. Torito gets slammed down for two and rolls out to the floor, only to be slammed down. Horny loads up the mini announce table (standing about two feet off the ground) and drops an elbow to drive Torito through. Fans: THIS IS AWESOME! Back inside with 3MB setting up a 6ft ladder and another mini table as Horny hits Torito with the mini chair.

The chair winds up hitting Heath low by mistake, knocking him through some full sized tables on the floor. Torito saves himself from being suplexed through a pile of tables and ladders at ringside as the Matadores make the save. Instead Torito DRIVES ALL THREE GUYS THROUGH THE LADDERS AND CHAIRS! Torito is laid on a full table outside and Drew misses a great looking flip dive for a crash of his own. Back inside and a springboard seated senton through a table gives El Torito the pin at 10:48.

Rating: A+. Do I even need to explain this one? One note: I really hope WWE lets this one be instead of trying to top it over and over again and driving the gimmick into the ground. You had an entertaining match. Be happy with that and maybe have another one down the road, but don’t try to make this something important on Raw every few weeks or it dies in a hurry.

Yeah he’s a comedy guy, but people forget that Hornswoggle can have a good match under the right circumstances. He isn’t a great worker or anything like that, but kids like him and he sells merchandise so there’s nothing wrong with keeping him around. Hornswoggle is reminiscent of Eugene: he’s fine if you don’t take him too seriously but when you put him in a major storyline, people lose interest. Stuff like the WeeLC match was hilarious though and that’s the kind of stuff he’s great at.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Survivor Series at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: