Finlay/Little Bastard vs. Boogeyman/Little Boogeyman

Yeah it’s a mixed tag match with midgets. I’ll be calling him Horny here and he’s scared to death so he dives under the ring before the other team gets there. JBL says not to call him Little Bastard as his parents’ names are not Mr. and Mrs. Bastard. We go over Horny’s fear of little people as he hides under the ring. JBL: I don’t know what’s under there. There could be a whole colony of Lilliputians under there. HOLY FORESHADOWING BATMAN!

JBL is cracking me up here. “THAT IS THE RING I LOST THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP TO JOHN CENA IN AND NOW THERE’S A LEPRECHAUN UNDER IT!!!” Boogeyman gets a fireman’s carry as this is a handicap match to start. JBL calls Cole a non-heterosexual Barry Horowitz. He keeps making jokes about their names and how absurd they are which is rather true.

Little Boogeyman comes in and gets some fat drops to have Finlay in trouble. And then he eats some worms. Horny finally comes in and rolls up his sleeves to fight. Finlay kicks the midget monster in the head. Little Boogeyman gets a small package on Finlay for two. JBL has no idea what to think. Finlay gets a short arm scissors and Little Boogeyman is tapping but it’s not acknowledged for some reason.

Horny pulls the other midget under the ring but when Finlay goes to find him he finds the regular (and I use that term loosely) Boogeyman. Boogey beats on Finlay and I have no idea what I’m watching. A Rocket Launcher from the Boogies gets two as Horny saves. Big Boogeyman chases him off with worms so Finlay can conk the midget with his club that is way too hard to spell for the pin.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible as I hate midgets, but the commentary here was absolutely hysterical. JBL’s deadpan rants about how stupid this was were so perfect and it worked the whole way. Luckily I think the Little Boogeyman was dropped soon after this. All of that being said, check this out for JBL alone.

Then this happened at Great American Bash 2007.

Cruiserweight Title: Jimmy Wang Yang vs. Chavo Guerrero vs. Shannon Moore vs. Jamie Noble vs. Funaki

It’s a five man match but remember that this is a Cruiserweight Open, as in anyone can get in on this. Chavo is champion coming in. This is the dying days of the title as this was thrown on the card yesterday with no story. They did these kind of matches for probably a year. Hornswoggle is on the floor and hides under the ring. Chavo tries to run but gets thrown outside instead. This is one fall to a finish.

This is one of those matches where you can’t really keep up with anything so the whole thing is pretty all over the place. Chavo comes back in and Cole talks about his Latina wife. Shannon gets two on Chavo but Funaki hits a cross body onto both of them for a combined two. Powerslam gets two for Noble but Chavo breaks it up again. Chavo hooks some freaky rollup on Yang and transitions into a half crab but it gets broken up by Funaki.

Moore slams Funaki into the buckle HARD. Noble vs. Moore now. Make that Noble vs. Funaki. See what I mean about how there’s no point in trying to call this? Funaki gets an enziguri for two on Moore. Gory Bomb to Funaki gets two for the champ. Almost everyone goes to the floor so Yang sets for a dive. Chavo stops it and it’s Tower of Doom time. Noble is down and here’s Horny to come off the top with a Tadpole Splash to win the title.

Rating: C-. Like I said there’s only so much you can do in these. The ending is totally legal when you think about it: he’s certainly small enough and it was an Open so anyone can enter at any time right? This wasn’t anything great but it was very clear that the title was done. And no it wasn’t Horny that killed it. The belt was long since dead.

Around this time, Hornswoggle was revealed to be Vince McMahon’s illegitimate son. Vince being Vince, he decided that his son needed some tough love, including this match from Survivor Series 2007. as well as stripping him of the Cruiserweight Title.

Hornswoggle vs. Great Khali

Runjin Singh, Khali’s manager, says we should have the wrestlers get together for the reading of the rules. This results in Singh talking over the referee as he translates. The fans want Shaq but they get the bell instead. The fans realize Shaq is here and Vince tells him to sit down. Vince tells the fans he doesn’t care what they want. Now there’s a shoot if there’s ever been one. Horny takes off his jacket and hat and kicks Singh in the face. Horny kicks at the legs of Khali…and wisely runs away. Singh runs his mouth some more and gets GREEN MIST IN THE FACE!

Horny dives on Singh and pounds away before hiding from Khali under the ring. The small guy finds that Irish club and calls Khali in but the stick is of course caught. Khali kicks him down but before the Vice Grip can go on, Finlay runs in for the save and face turn. This ran over three minutes but it doesn’t deserve to be rated. At least this did serve a purpose though, so it’s not a total failure. It should have been on Raw though.

Finlay beats up Singh and Khali with the club. It would eventually be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father, but I’m not quite sure why Vince agreed to the whole thing in storyline.

You know what’s better than one midget character? A BUNCH OF THEM! From January 14, 2008 on Raw.

Mini Royal Rumble

This is a five man match and it’s standard Rumble rules with thirty second intervals. The arena is full of smoke due to JBL’s previous segment. Hornswoggle and Mini Mr. Kennedy start. Kennedy can’t reach the microphone for the pre match bit in a comedy spot. Apparently Hornswoggle is already in the regular Royal Rumble along with Mick Foley. Horny gets sent face first into the middle turnbuckle and Mini Mankind is in third. Kennedy stomps a mudhole in him as the fans are totally out of this.

Mankind is about a foot taller than everyone else but Horny blocks Socko and kicks him out. In a surprising power display, Hornswoggle presses Kennedy over the top rope, leaving him alone to face Mini Batista at #4. The rather chubby Batista hits a spear and does signature stuff but has the Batista Bomb countered. JR sounds miserable on commentary. Mini Kane is number five and is the shortest person in the match so far. He nails uppercuts all around but walks into the spinebuster and Batista Bomb.

Not that it matters as Horny kicks Batista low and dumps him, only for Kane to kind of sit up. A middle rope clothesline drops Horny and Kane sets up a chokeslam. JR: “Imagine the elevation.” Horny just glares at him with a look that says “Really?”. A Celtic Cross puts Kane down and there he goes, leaving Hornswoggle alone. Here comes the real Great Khali at #6, despite it being announced at five people. I smell a McMahon. Mini Batista attacks Hornswoggle from behind but Finlay makes the save with the club to knock Khali to the floor, which I guess counts as an elimination.

Rating: F. Oh just….no.

This whole thing had to lead to this. From February 11, 2008 on Raw.

Hornswoggle vs. Vince McMahon

No DQ. This is a result of Horny biting Vince last week instead of joining his club. Vince shoves him down to start and poses. Horny can’t reach Vince’s hands for a test of strength so Vince gets on his knees and offers a free shot. The arm is pulled back but Horny can’t do it at first.

That only lasts a few seconds until he finally slaps Vince, so the dad takes off his belt for a whipping. Finlay comes out to defend his buddy so Vince threatens to fire him and ruin Finlay’s family. Vince leans down to yell at Hornswoggle about what a coward Finlay is and shoves the litle guy down. Finlay blasts Vince in the head with the club and Horny hits a Tadpole Splash for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was an angle instead of a match. For the life of me I’m not sure who thought this story was a good idea, but Kennedy getting Wellnessed caused us to have to sit through all this nonsense. Finlay never really got a big push out of it either, which is really kind of surprising.

It would soon be revealed that Finlay was Horny’s father so the two formed a team. Here’s a Tag Team Title shot for them at Night of Champions 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/Miz vs. Finlay/Hornswoggle

Please make it short. They already did that didn’t they? Do I need to explain to you why this is a dumb match? And the fans pop for the challengers because that’s what Satan told them to do. The tall guy and the Monday Night Delight start us off. Ross and Foley are a weird pairing on commentary. Horny is listed at 4’4. Why did Vince wonder why we didn’t like the company in 08?

We do get a spot that I haven’t seen before as Morrison jumps over the rope and gets crotched on the ring skirt. I’ve never seen that before. Finlay starts throwing Horny into Miz and Morrison as a projectile. This is a comedy match that forgot the comedy. How weird is it to think that two years later Miz could be a potential MITB winner? I wouldn’t be surprised if he won it. Miz and Morrison were really starting to get good here but wouldn’t hit their stride for a few more months.

Horny comes in and beats up Miz, hitting a Stunner and a bulldog. None of these do anything of course since HE IS TINY. The problem becomes clear here very soon: the heels have to either beat up Horny or have him get the hot tag. Finlay beats up everyone after such a tag and the fans care for some reason. Horny goes up for the splash and Morrison finally realizes how stupid this is and more or less chokeslams him to the mat, ending this annoyance.

Rating: D. I mean seriously, it’s a midget and an old man against a good and young team. Was this really the best option they had? They wanted this to make this a serious match and it just completely failed. It was a hybrid comedy match and mess and just didn’t work. They wanted Horny to be something serious and it just didn’t work so of course they kept going with it forever.

We’ll jump ahead to April 21, 2009 when Hornswoggle was on ECW. This is his final appearance on the show before going to Raw and he said (remember that for later) that he wanted to wrestle. Tyson Kidd objected so here’s the result.

Natalya vs. Hornswoggle

Horny does a Warrior rope shake while Natalya makes fun of him. The test of strength spot annoys Hornswoggle again so he bites her tights and gets two off a spear. Tyson tries to interfere but Finlay cuts him off, allowing Horny to roll Natalya up for a quick pin.

Next up was a long and stupid feud against Chavo Guerrero Jr. where the guests hosts of Raw made one gimmick after another, including Chavo being having his arm tied behind his back or boxing. On July 27, 2009, he was blindfolded.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Hornswoggle

A kick by Horny knocks Chavo to the floor and it takes awhile for him to get back in. We get the required cornering the referee spot before Horny gets two off a rollup. The little guy hammers away even more until Chavo pulls the hood up and hits a dropkick. He can’t see for the cover though and the crowd is already annoyed. Horny gets up but lays back down, so Chavo tries a frog splash. Horny goes to the apron, Chavo misses the splash, Tadpole Splash gets the pin. Chavo lost every single match in this feud.

We’ll jump ahead again as Hornswoggle didn’t wrestle full time. Next up is Smackdown, December 10, 2010. Hornswoggle had been named the official mascot of Smackdown and would face Jack Swagger’s mascot, the Swagger Soaring Eagle.

Hornswoggle vs. Soaring Eagle

Rosa comes out with Horny. The Eagle is billed at 6’0 tall and with a wingspan of 5’0. This is so stupid. Please make this be quick. Striker lists off facts about eagles before Horny pulls out a bag of, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, ACME (spelled wrong) birdseed. The eagle (allegedly Chavo) goes for it and gets kicked in the head. Rosa hands Horny a napkin which he tucks into his shirt and bites the Eagle’s leg.

Would anyone be opposed to some fast forwarding here? The Eagle misses Ballin (shoot me now….please) and the Tadpole Splash ends this at 2:28. Cole gets in two good lines at the end though. As Horny goes up for the splash, “GET OUT OF THE WAY! YOU’RE ENDANGERED!” and the second being singing Fly Like An Eagle by the Steve Miller Band, even though the Eagle wasn’t the one flying. Was there ANY point to this?

Another jump of nearly a year brings us to Smackdown, November 29, 2011. It’s the Holiday Special and Horny is in the Make A Wish battle royal, where the winner gets anything he wants.

Battle Royal

There are twenty people in this and I’ll let you figure out who all is in it yourselves. I see Mahal, Slater, the Usos, Jackson, Sheamus, O’Neil, Watson, DiBiase, Hunico, Reks, Gabriel, Kidd and Horny. Sheamus is by far the biggest name in this. Hawkins and Young are in there. Young is out quickly as is I think Jey Uso. JTG is in this and as soon as I say this he’s eliminated. DiBiase and Gabriel try to get Hawkins out but can’t quite do it. Kofi and Yoshi Tatsu are in this and I think that’s everyone.

There goes Hawkins at the hands of Big Zeke. We get the showdown with Jackson and Sheamus with with pale One beating him down. Jackson sets for a big clotheline but Sheamus ducks to put him out. Johnny Curtis was the 20th guy in there and Sheamus puts him out easily. Kofi puts out the other Uso but Kidd dropkicks Kingston out seconds later.

Tatsu is gone and Kidd skins the cat and pulls out DiBiase at the same time. Horny slips out from the floor and pulls Kidd out. We take a break with about 8 people left. Back with eight people left: O’Neil, Hunico, Gabriel, Mahal, Reks, Sheamus, Slater and Horny. Gabriel tries to jump on the apron but Mahal knocks him to the floor. Clash of the Titus puts Reks down but he barks too much and Sheamus puts him out. Dang it I wanted him to wish for NXT to end.

Slater and Mahal jump Sheamus but he explodes and beats everyone down. Everyone goes to the floor through the ropes and beats Sheamus down. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so now everyone but Sheamus is in. It’s Mahal, Hunico, Slater and Reks. Mahal says we need to go find Horny. They all pick a side of the ring and dive under the ring. Mahal catches him and it’s 4-1. Slater shoves him down as does Hunico.

They all carefully stomp him but before the toss him Sheamus is back in. There goes Reks and Hucio is out as well. Mahal is out and a Brogue Kick puts Slater down. Ok so it’s Horny vs. Sheamus. Oh good grief. Horny says bring it on and Sheamus isn’t sure what to say. He tells Horny to get out but Horny tells him to get out. He kicks Sheamus in the shins but Sheamus grabs him by the beard and starts putting him out but Horny grabs the top rope. Sheamus gets on the apron and detatches him but Horny won’t get off the apron. Sheamus tries to talk to him and they hug, but Horny shoves him off for the win at 13:25.

Rating: C+. This was fun until the end, when it just got stupid. Why in the world would have put Horny over here for the sake of a comedy bit? Well at least this is for an obscure prize instead of something like a title shot so it could be a lot worse. Ok maybe not a lot worse but it could be worse.

From later in the show.

Ricardo hits on the Bellas at the party as Piper talks to Dusty. They’re talking about Cena and Dusty thinks it’s ridiculous to think the fans are going to get to Cena. Santa comes up and sits down for Horny to ask for his wish. There’s something about celery, Jonas Salk, Peter Falk and chalk. Foley has it wrong and it’s that Horny wants to TALK. They hug and Horny can speak. He goes around using his new powers and calls Vickie a grandma. Foley pops up in a Cactus Jack shirt and Santa is gone. Piper and Dream have no idea what’s going on and I don’t really want the answer.

From Smackdown, April 19, 2013.

Great Khali/Natalya/Hornswoggle vs. Epico/Primo/Rosa Mendes

We actually get a reason for this match: Epico/Primo/Rosa stole Horny’s parking spot earlier and there’s video to prove it. I’ve heard worse. I can’t think of anything off the top of my head but I’ve heard worse. Nattie takes Rosa down to start but can’t hook the Sharpshooter. Rosa comes back with a kick to the back and a chinlock but Natalya fights back with a clothesline. Off to Epico and Khali with the giant hitting some hard chops in the corner. Primo tries to help but gets sent into the same corner as Epico for simultaneous chops. Horny annoys Rosa into a chase and Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge to pin Epico at 3:18.

Rating: D. Rosa was basically in half of a swimsuit and a vest so it doesn’t fail based on that alone. That’s about the extent of the good parts of the match though as none of these are people I care to see. At the end of the day they’re fighting over a parking lot, but how many people can’t get on television? Remarkable.

Hornswoggle would join 3MB in 2014 because COMEDY, leading to a feud with Los Matadores and their mascot El Torito. This set up Wee LC at Extreme Rules 2014.

Pre-Show: El Torito vs. Hornswoggle

This is the WeeLC match which exists for reasons beyond my comprehension and you win by pinfall/submission. There are mini versions of all three commentators, a mini referee and a mini ring announcer. Torito hammers away to start but dives onto the other Band members. Horny can’t manage a dive and Torito pulls out a chair. That’s no good for some reason so it’s off to a mini chair. A headstand in the corner sets up a Bronco Buster and here’s Mahal to interfere.

Torito crotches him on the top rope and sends Horny face first into Mahal’s groin. Horny takes Torito down and we get two sizes of stepladders brought in. Horny goes to the top of the bigger one but gets nervous so Torito lays down for him. Thankfully he moves when Horny tries a splash and we take a break. I really question the need for commercials for events airing on a service that I’ve already purchased to watch the show the commercials are airing on.

Back with 3MB and Los Matadores brawling on the floor. The commentators names: JB Elf, Jerry Smaller and Micro Cole. Torito gets slammed down for two and rolls out to the floor, only to be slammed down. Horny loads up the mini announce table (standing about two feet off the ground) and drops an elbow to drive Torito through. Fans: THIS IS AWESOME! Back inside with 3MB setting up a 6ft ladder and another mini table as Horny hits Torito with the mini chair.

The chair winds up hitting Heath low by mistake, knocking him through some full sized tables on the floor. Torito saves himself from being suplexed through a pile of tables and ladders at ringside as the Matadores make the save. Instead Torito DRIVES ALL THREE GUYS THROUGH THE LADDERS AND CHAIRS! Torito is laid on a full table outside and Drew misses a great looking flip dive for a crash of his own. Back inside and a springboard seated senton through a table gives El Torito the pin at 10:48.

Rating: A+. Do I even need to explain this one? One note: I really hope WWE lets this one be instead of trying to top it over and over again and driving the gimmick into the ground. You had an entertaining match. Be happy with that and maybe have another one down the road, but don’t try to make this something important on Raw every few weeks or it dies in a hurry.

Yeah he’s a comedy guy, but people forget that Hornswoggle can have a good match under the right circumstances. He isn’t a great worker or anything like that, but kids like him and he sells merchandise so there’s nothing wrong with keeping him around. Hornswoggle is reminiscent of Eugene: he’s fine if you don’t take him too seriously but when you put him in a major storyline, people lose interest. Stuff like the WeeLC match was hilarious though and that’s the kind of stuff he’s great at.

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It’s the second two hour live NXT special tonight and the card looks solid. The main event is Adrian Neville defending the NXT Title against Tyson Kidd after Kidd won a triple threat a few weeks ago. Other than that we’ve got the other two titles on the line as well, with Ascension defending against Kalisto/El Local and Charlotte vs. Natalya for the vacant Women’s Title. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about change, with NXT taking over the world. A Takeover you might say.

Adam Rose leads his party from outside, all the way into the arena for his match. Awesome entrance.

Adam Rose vs. Camacho

Rose is feeling rather playful as he jumps into Camacho’s arms, only to be slammed down to the mat in a hard landing. A nice butterfly suplex gets two on Adam and we hit the chinlock. The fans sing the song to get Rose back to his feet because this is the most awesome crowd in wrestling. Rose escapes and starts Hulking Up but a hard boot to the face puts him down for two. Another chinlock slows things down as the fans chant PARTY TIME. Camacho drops a leg for two but Rose fights back with left hands and a big spinebuster. A Bronco Buster sets up the Party Foul to pin Camacho at 5:10.

Rating: C. This wasn’t a great match but it was the perfect way to open up a big show. Rose is very similar to Godfather, as the matches aren’t all that impressive but he’s going to get a crowd over no matter what he’s doing. That’s a very valuable thing to have and something that should keep Rose on the main roster for a long time.

Video on Zayn vs. Camacho from Arrival and what it meant to Zayn. Sami says Tyler Breeze is a bit different kind of opponent.

Tyler Breeze has entered the building. Regal: “My night is made!”

Tag Team Titles: Kalisto/El Local vs. Ascension

Ascension is defending and their challengers have only wrestled together a few times. The champions go after the masked men to start but stereo headscissors put them on the floor. Local and Kalisto load up stereo suicide dives but charge into uppercuts to knock them back into the ring. Viktor starts by throwing Kalisto around before it’s quickly off to Konnor for a big elbow drop. A double chicken wing has Kalisto in even more trouble.

Back to Viktor who rips at Kalisto’s mask before putting him in the Tree of Woe for kicks from Konnor. They head outside to keep up the destruction but Kalisto kicks Konnor in the face and rams Viktor face first into the apron. It’s not enough for a hot tag though as Ascension takes him into the corner. Kalisto FINALLY dives over to make the tag and Local speeds things up. A middle rope moonsault gets two as everything breaks down. Viktor just ENDS Local with a running clothesline though, setting up Fall of Man for the pin at 6:20.

Rating: D+. The hot tag was a bit of an improvement but this was more of the same from Ascension. At the end of the day, they’re desperately in need of competition unless they’re brought up to the main roster to take the belts from the Usos soon. Either that or the new pretty boy team will knock them off, which isn’t the worst idea in the world.

Video on Tyler Breeze.

Sami Zayn vs. Tyler Breeze

#1 contenders match. Breeze has new music, completely with paparazzi sounds. Tyler cranks on the wrist to start but gets taken down by a top wristlock. Zayn snaps off three very fast armdrags to take over and hooks an armbar. Back up and Sami goes to the corner, only for Tyler to grab his leg and whip Zayn all the way down to the floor. Breeze stomps away in the corner before hitting a nice bulldog into the middle buckle. Tyler’s hair is down, I believe for the first time ever in NXT.

We hit a front facelock on Sami but he finally fights up and throws Breeze off. I love the subtle things Sami does like have to try three times before shoving Tyler away. It’s a great way to build up sympathy and get the crowd behind you. Breeze heads outside so Zayn hits a huge slingshot moonsault to take him down. Back in and a high cross body gets two on Tyler followed by a wicked Blue Thunder Bomb for the same.

A frustrated Sami goes up top but has to roll through a cross body, only to charge into a kick to the ribs and a DDT for two. Tyler comes back by pulling Sami from the mat out of the corner into a sitout powerbomb for another near fall. Breeze goes nuts in the corner with right hands but Sami comes back with an exploder suplex to send him into the buckles. They slug it out with some very intense BOO/YAY chants.

Sami stops himself before running into the referee and gets rolled up for two. The Blue Thunder Bomb is countered into a series of standing switches before Tyler superkicks Sami’s head off but Zayn kicks out AGAIN. The fans are literally standing and cheering for this. Both guys are spent but it’s Breeze in control. Sami blocks an Irish whip and tries an arm trap powerbomb but the fall down in a sloppy looking sequence. That’s fine with Zayn though as he loads up a fisherman’s buster but flips Breeze forward into a powerbomb for two.

Breeze bails to the floor, allowing Sami to hit a gorgeous flip dive. The landing looked very rough though as Sami’s leg smacked Breeze in the head and knocked it into the steel ramp. Back in and Sami tries the Helluva Kick but Breeze’s head goes down, causing a low blow to Sami. Zayn falls backwards and the Beauty Shot gives Breeze the pin at 15:55.

Rating: A-. That botched sequence near the end is one of the only things holding this back. Sami is more than ready for WWE by this point but at some point he needs to get a major win in NXT. I’m fine with them not making him champion, but there’s a good chance this gets a rematch due to the ending. Breeze’s best match ever by about 10,000 miles as well.

Here are Lana and Rusev with something to say. Lana says Rusev has spread his power to Raw and Smackdown but now he’s back here receive adulation. This brings out Mojo Rawley with an American flag to stand up to this horrid villain. Rawley says in America, we don’t get hyped. WE STAY HYPED! Mojo hits the ring….and gets his head kicked into the fourth row. Rusev hammers away and Accolades Rawley in about 20 seconds. Rusev still isn’t done though as he puts on the Accolade on the ramp.

Video on Charlotte vs. Natalya, which will see both famous relatives in the corners.

Kris Kristofferson is here.

Before the match, here’s Paige to say how good it is to be home. She thanks the fans for their help in making her Divas Champion because she couldn’t do it without them. Paige is also proud to be the first NXT Women’s Champion but tonight is about a new champion. Whoever that is has to have strength, character and grace because she’s the key to the future. Holding the Women’s Title is the key to the Divas Title, so enjoy the rest of the show.

Women’s Title: Charlotte vs. Natalya

This is a tournament final for the vacant championship. Charlotte has a remixed Ric Flair theme song and it’s really not working. After some big match intros, we’re ready to go. Feeling out process to start as the legends play cheerleaders. Natalya takes her down by the arm but gets caught in a headscissors. Back up and Natalya grabs the headlock as well. That goes nowhere either so they fight over wristlocks until Charlotte grabs an armbar.

Natalya does the Owen Hart roll out and grabs a leg lock to take over. Back up again and Natalya takes her right back down with another leg tie. Charlotte reaches around to grab a chinlock which goes into a front facelock. They hit the ropes for a bit with Natalya countering a wheelbarrow slam into a cradle for two. Natalya grabs a body scissors but Charlotte rolls to the ropes to avoid a cross armbreaker.

Charlotte gets tired of submission stuff and slaps Natalya in the face. A BIG chop puts Natalya down and Ric loses his mind going WOO. Natalya tries a sleeper but gets caught in an over the shoulder Stunner for two. Charlotte slams the Canadian’s face into the mat over and over before choking in the corner a bit. Off to a figure four headlock complete with Madison Rayne’s face ram into the mat.

Back up and it’s off to an abdominal stretch on Natalya, albeit not a very good one. Natalya reverses into a much better one and even grabs Charlotte’s leg for good measure. Charlotte rolls out and hits a low dropkick for two. Natalya fights back with power and a low dropkick of her own, followed by a whip into the corner for a Flair Flip. They head outside with Charlotte whipping Natalya off the apron by the leg. Back in and Charlotte goes up, only to miss a moonsault.

A discus lariat gets two for Natalya and the Sharpshooter goes on, but Charlotte rolls out and puts on the Figure Four. Natalya somehow reverses the pressure without turning the hold over and Charlotte crawls to the apron. She falls to the floor with the hold still on and both girls are in trouble. Natalya is sent knee first into the steps and it’s back inside for a bad Sharpshooter (complete with a glare at Bret) but Natalya rolls through, only to be kicked away from the Sharpshooter. Charlotte hits Bow Down To The Queen out of nowhere for the pin and the title at 16:55.

Rating: B+. Who would have thought THIS would be awesome? Charlotte has somehow become awesome in like two months and more than held her own out there. It was hard to imagine Natalya winning here but it was still an absolutely awesome match between two wrestlers who happen to be girls.

They shake hands post match, as do Ric and Bret for a nice moment.

Video on Neville’s rise to the top of NXT and his match with Kidd tonight.

Cesaro and Christian are here.

Kidd and Natalya are ready.

NXT Title: Tyson Kidd vs. Adrian Neville

Neville is defending. Big match intros are done and we’re ready to go. They shake hands and talk trash to each other until Tyson takes him down with a headlock. Adrian spins up and Tyson shoves him down to annoy the champion. Back up and this time it’s Adrian taking Kidd down and into the ropes for another staredown. The champion grabs an armbar (Fans: “ARMBAR! ARMBAR!”) but Kidd is quickly up and things get faster. Neville flips over to escape a backdrop but Kidd does the same, leading to another staredown. This time though Kidd blasts him in the face and kicks away, giving us a mid match heel turn.

Kidd puts him into the Tree of Woe before lifting him up for a kick to the back. A running dropkick has Adrian in trouble and we hit the chinlock. Neville fights up but Kidd sends him to the floor and hits a big flip dive for two back inside. Adrian is back up again and they hit cross bodies at the same time to put both guys down. Now they trade kicks to the ribs but Adrian hits a sliding kick to the head to take over. Now it’s Kidd put in the Tree of Woe for the same kind of kicks that he threw earlier.

A running delayed dropkick knocks Kidd senseless but it’s only good for two and the champion is getting frustrated. Kidd comes back with a pair of kicks to the head but Adrian kicks out at two. Tyson goes up but Neville blocks the Blockbuster with a forearm to the jaw. Adrian’s superplex is countered into a powerbomb but Adrian flips out and hits a sitout powerbomb for two.

Adrian loads up what looked to be a Lionsault press but Kidd runs at the ropes for a middle rope Russian legsweep for a close two. Kidd dives into knees but gets rolled up for another near fall. The champion tries a suplex but they both fall over the top rope and crash to the floor. Both guys slide in to beat the count and they’re spent.

Kidd loads up the Sharpshooter but leans forward to put on the Dungeon Lock (instead of turning over he grabs Adrian’s arm and leans back for a choke with a leg lock). Adrian is in the ropes, so Kidd ties him up in those ropes for a top rope flip legdrop and two. Kidd loads up the Blockbuster but Adrian counters into a gorgeous top rope hurricanrana. Kidd is almost out cold and the Red Arrow is enough to keep the title in England at 20:00.

Rating: A-. Take two guys and let them fly around the ring for a long time. Again, Kidd winning wasn’t likely at all but that doesn’t mean he can’t go out there and tear the house down like he just did. Neville is getting a huge star rub, even though he doesn’t seem to be the longest term solution as champion.

Kidd very slowly gets up but won’t shake hands.

Overall Rating: A. This was an AWESOME show with three incredible matches out of five with the other two not being bad at all. NXT continues to be the most outstanding wrestling promotion going right now with nothing but great matches and shows almost every week. It’s amazing how this doesn’t translate all that well up to WWE though, as the scripting of everything stops so much of the momentum that NXT has due to people just going out there and tearing the house down. Excellent show, just like Arrival.

Results
Adam Rose b. Camacho – Party Foul
Ascension b. El Local/Kalisto – Fall of Man to Local
Tyler Breeze b. Sami Zayn – Beauty Shot
Charlotte b. Natalya – Bow Down to the Queen
Adrian Neville b. Tyson Kidd – Red Arrow
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This is a request that I’ve finally gotten to after getting done with those weekly TNA PPVs. I don’t remember why someone requested this but Ambrose is defending the US Title against Mark Henry and AJ Lee is defending against Natalya, so odds are it’s one of those. This is a show I haven’t looked at all that much but you hear good things about it a lot of the time. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Los Matadores vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Before the match we get an inset interview from Axel saying he’s in the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, joining Ryback as two of the handful of entrants so far. Ryback throws Diego around to start but Diego comes back with a dropkick and headlock. Diego gets shoved off but stops to shout OLE both in the ring and on the apron. Off to Fernando for a dropkick/legsweep combo for a one count. Ryback misses a jumping seated senton, allowing Fernando to hit a running elbow to the jaw.

Axel comes in for the first time to really crank up the awesome. Fernando grabs a quick hurricanrana but walks into a clothesline for two. The fans are rather silent here for the most part, but to Los Matadores’ credit, the crowd REALLY gets behind Fernando during his heat segment. Off to a chinlock so Ryback can really obviously call spots. Back to Axel for some right hands in the corner as the announcers talk about anything else they can think of.

Axel gets two off a middle rope elbow and we hit another chinlock. Ryback comes back in to miss a splash, drawing Torito up to the apron to play cheerleader. The hot tag brings in Diego to run over both Ryback and Axel. Everything breaks down and Diego comes out of the corner with a headscissors to put Axel down again. Fernando hits a big flip dive to take out Ryback and Torito gets in a shot of his own. The distraction lets Diego get a rollup on Axel for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C-. Totally forgettable match here but it wasn’t bad at all. Los Matadores aren’t the worst team in the world, but they’re just so bland with a style that has been done about a million times better before. Axel and Ryback are a decent power/technical team, but all four of these guys are so low on the totem pole that it’s hard to care about them.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Natalya

Nattie made champion AJ tap in a non-title match on Snackdown to set this up. Before the match AJ says she’s bored due to the lack of competition here, but worry not because she’ll beat Natalya again tonight. After some big match intros, Natalya takes it to the mat to start with a headlock. A rollup sends AJ crawling for the ropes and it’s right back to the headlock.

Natalya does the Owen Hart counter to escape a wristlock before cranking on Lee’s leg. AJ gets into the ropes again as they’re in very slow but deliberate mode to start here. Back up and Natalya cranks on an abdominal stretch with the leg lifted as well. AJ slips out but gets dropkicked to the floor as we take a break. Back with AJ getting two off something we didn’t see before putting on a chinlock.

That doesn’t last long as Nattie fights up and tries a slam, only to be countered into the guillotine choke. Natalya can’t slam her down to escape and gets clotheslined down for two. It’s time for the skipping around the ring followed by another wicked clothesline. A running dropkick puts the champion down but she kicks Natalya over and over in the corner to take over again. Back to the guillotine which transitions into a sleeper but Nattie throws AJ down.

The blonde makes her comeback with clotheslines and a hard slam for two of her own. AJ grabs the Black Widow out of nowhere but gets slammed down into Sharpshooter position. That gets countered as well into a cradle for two but the second attempt gets the hold on. Nattie doesn’t sit down on it that well though, allowing Lee to crawl over to the ropes. Tamina gets on the apron and the distraction lets AJ nail the Shining Wizard, setting up the Black Widow for the submission. The referee calmly telling her to “tap whenever you’re ready” hurt the scene a bit.

Rating: B-. The match got a bit repetitive at the end but it’s a good sign that two girls can have a seventeen minute match and make it work this well. The idea of AJ being a better technical wrestler but getting caught by the power worked really well, as did the ways AJ could contort and bend out there.

Natalya cries because of course she does.

We look at Santino and Emma’s first date at WWE catering. Slapstick ensues.

Raw ReBound looks at Daniel Bryan’s Occupy Raw moment.

US Title: Mark Henry vs. Dean Ambrose

Dean is defending and the idea is that he never puts the belt on the line. To be fair, he hardly ever did as champion. This is also a rematch from a recent title shot on Raw. Feeling out process to start with Henry shoving him to the floor and then wrapping Dean’s arm around the ropes. Dean is thrown to the floor again but we have a staredown with the other Shield members. The distraction allows Ambrose to get in a quick dropkick to knock Henry outside.

Back from a break with Dean cranking on a half crab before nailing a middle rope chop block. Another shot to the knee puts Mark down and it’s into the half crab again. Dean opts to just kick Henry a lot and drive in some forearms to the chest. The knee is slammed down onto the mat but Mark pops up and slams Ambrose down off the middle rope to take over.

Some fat man clotheslines are good for two but Henry makes the mistake of going after Rollins. It doesn’t go badly at first, but Henry stops a Vader Bomb to stare at Reigns, allowing Dean to pull him down by the leg. A kneeling Dirty Deeds is good for the pin to retain Ambrose’s title.

Rating: C-. This was fine from a technical standpoint but it wasn’t the best match in the world. Henry is fine as a dragon for Ambrose to slay as I don’t think many people bought him as an actual threat to the belt. It’s always nice to see the title actually being defended though, instead of just being used as a prop.

Overall Rating: C+. For an hour long C show on the Network, this was actually really entertaining stuff. It’s a VERY wrestling heavy show which is a nice change of pace when you usually deal with the angle heavy big shows. It’s nothing you need to see but if you want to see a match get way more time than it would otherwise, this is a good show to check out.

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We’ve got a big show to build towards now, meaning things should start coming together in the near future. On top of that we’ve got a challenge from Adam Rose to face Camacho at some point in the future, which isn’t a terrible idea for an opponent for Rose, especially when he’ll be in WWE very soon. Let’s get to it.

HHH is in the ring to open the show to talk about how awesome NXT is and how much of an impact it’s having on WWE with people like Paige. The fans think this is awesome. You can tell when this was taped as HHH has a sore throat. Taking over WWE is a good idea, so on May 27, there will be a two hour special called NXT Takeover.

Opening sequence.

Tyson Kidd vs. Bo Dallas

Bo has new music. Feeling out process to start as the fans chant for Total Divas of all things. Dallas grabs a headlock but Tyson fights out and sends him into the corner for a dropkick. A suplex looks to set up a missile dropkick but Bo rolls outside before anything can happen. Dallas takes over with a dropkick for two as the fans are singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. An elbow drop gets two for Dallas and we hit the cravate.

Tyson fights up with elbows but misses a dropkick of his own to give Bo a two. Back to the cravate as the announcers actually talk about the history of the two wrestlers in the ring. Like actual commentary you might say. Tyson fights up again but charges into an elbow in the corner. Now the fans chant for Tyson Kidd as he comes back with kicks to the ribs and one to the head for two. A belly to belly gets two for Dallas and a bulldog gets the same as frustration is setting in. Tyson goes up top but gets crotched down, only to kick Dallas in the head, setting up the Blockbuster for the pin at 7:20.

Rating: C. Nice little match here as Kidd’s push in NXT continues. The guy has the skills to make it work and a good finisher so I can’t complain much about him getting this much time in the ring. Dallas is heading to WWE and it makes perfect sense at this point as there’s nothing left for him to do here anymore.

The fans are all over Dallas and sing the Goodbye song as he freaks out even more.

Camacho says his parties are better than Adam Rose’s. Adam comes up and calls Camacho a silly little rabbit and says it doesn’t matter if it’s NXT, WWE, NYC or Hawaii, it’s party time all the time when Adam Rose is around. A party breaks out.

Here are the brackets for the Women’s Title tournament.

Bayley
Sasha Banks

Natalya
Layla

Emma
Charlotte

Alexa Bliss
Alicia Fox

Bayley says winning the title is more important than ten hugs from John Cena.

Sasha promises to beat the smile out of Bayley.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Sasha drives shoulders into the corner to start but gets rolled up for a quick two. A backslide and second rollup get two each for Bayley and she comes off the middle rope into an armdrag. Bayley hugs Sasha in the corner and throws in a slap for good measure before a suplex gets two.

Banks sends her into the corner as Regal picks Alicia Fox as the favorite for the tournament. A very high backdrop gets two for Bayley and some running ax handles put Banks down again. The Belly to Bayley connects but Sasha gets in the ropes. Bankrupt gets two for Banks but she comes back with a backstabber and a modified crossface for the submission at 4:00.

The opening video sets up Rusev vs. Woods and talks about Dallas vs. Neville II coming soon.

Theme song.

Jason Albert is Tensai under a less bizarre name.

Paige vs. Sasha Banks

Post match Charlotte goes after Paige but Natalya makes the save.

We look at Corey Graves vs. Sami Zayn from last week.

Stills of Mojo Rawley destroying CJ Parker at Arrival.

Rawley is of course hyped in the back and says Arrival was just the start.

Ascension vs. Travis Tyler/Cal Bishop

Rating: D+. Total and complete dominance here as you would expect. Much like Paige, Ascension has cleaned out the division and they need someone else to fight. Either that or send some WWE guys down there to give them some important wins. Ascension continues to look awesome but they need something new to do.

Mason Ryan vs. Wesley Blake

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Sheamus will be here next week.

Adrian Neville is about to talk about his rematch with Bo Dallas in two weeks when Bo comes in and says the nightmare ends two weeks. The Bo-Lievers have been the wind bo-neath his wings through this trying time. The fans are sick of Adrian and his flips and big ears. Adrian slaps him and they breathe heavily for a bit.

Colin Cassady vs. Bo Dallas

Results

Paige b. Sasha Banks – Scorpion cross lock

Ascension b. Travis Tyler/Cal Bishop – Fall of Man to Tyler

Mason Ryan b. Wesley Blake – Spinebuster

Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods – Accolade

Bo Dallas b. Colin Cassady – Inverted DDT

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Welcome Home.

Back to Summer for some stretching and choking on the apron until Bayley finally counters a suplex to get a breather. The hot tag brings in Emma who cleans house until Alicia kicks her in the face. Sasha, Summer and Charlotte walk out on Alicia, allowing Emma to hook the Emma Lock for the submission from Fox at 7:28 shown of 10:58.

Aiden English vs. Colin Cassady

CJ Parker vs. Tye Dillinger

Wyatt Family vs. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis

Results

CJ Parker b. Tye Dillinger – Third Eye

Wyatt Family b. Jason Jordan/Marcus Louis – Discus lariat to Louis

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Welcome Home.

Byron Saxton is in the middle of the ring to let us know that Tyler Breeze is in the building.

Lana introduces Alexander Rusev and is given the WHAT treatment.

Alexander Rusev vs. Kofi Kingston

Natalya vs. Emma

In an awesome hold, Natalya gets Emma face down on the mat, ties their legs together and grabs her arms. They turn over and Natalya lays on her back while raising her legs up to put Emma in something like a Tree of Woe on the mat. That looks awesome but Emma gets her arms free. Emma counters the Sharpshooter into a small package for two before putting on the Emma Lock (Indian Deathlock with a bridge into a crossface) for the win at 4:35.

Rating: C+. Again, it saddens me that Emma is stuck down here while we have to watch Divas like Aksana, the Bellas, Eva Marie and Rosa Mendes on Raw for the simple reason of they were either there first or some attempted cross promotion with a reality show. This was solid wrestling with good looking women which could work if actually presented on Raw.

Tyler Breeze vs. Mason Ryan

Hunico/Camacho vs. Ascension in a tornado match next week.

Tyler Breeze has left the building.

Sami Zayn vs. Leo Kruger

Results

Alexander Rusev b. Kofi Kingston – Accolade

Emma b. Natalya – Emma Lock

Tyler Breeze b. Mason Ryan – Beauty Shot

Sami Zayn b. Leo Kruger – Koji Clutch

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Welcome Home.

Tag Titles: Hunico/Camacho vs. Ascension

Alexander Rusev vs. Kassius Ohno

Scott Dawson vs. Mojo Rawley

Post match Dawson lays out Rawley. Again, this should not happen.

Next week is the 200^th episode, featuring an open challenge from Ascension and Dallas defending against Neville in a lumberjack match. HHH will be here too, which means a big announcement.

Leo Kruger vs. Sami Zayn

Sami clotheslines him to the floor and hits a big flip dive to extend the feud.

Results

Ascension b. Hunico/Camacho – Fall of Man to Camacho

Alexander Rusev b. Kassius Ohno – Accolade

Mojo Rawley b. Scott Dawson – Earthquake

Leo Kruger b. Sami Zayn – Slice

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