Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1992 (2023 Redo): Yeah This One

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

It’s time to get back to one of the classics as this one comes up on the request list pretty regularly. Since this is going to be my fourth time looking at it, odds are this is going to be the last time I look at it for a very good while. You probably know the big attraction by heart at this point and that should be more than enough to carry the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

We open with Vince McMahon narrating a list of Royal Rumble entrants, which does have a certain charm as he is SO into it.

Commentary runs down most of the card. There are only five matches, so a full list wouldn’t be too much to ask.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

The Express (Kato/Tanaka) has Mr. Fuji with them. Owen and Kato start things off as Heenan ignores everything else to talk about Ric Flair in the Royal Rumble (fair enough in this case). Kato’s O’Connor roll is countered into an armbar, followed by a running hurricanrana to give Owen two. Neidhart comes in for an armbar of his own before it’s off to Tanaka for another showdown.

Tanaka bounces off of Neidhart as commentary talks about Neidhart’s questionable sanity. A spinebuster sets up Owen’s middle rope elbow as commentary finally starts talking about the match in front of them. That lasts all of ten seconds as we switch over to the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title from a rather sick Bret Hart (not quite) at a recent house show. Heenan: “He had a 104 degree temperature. I’ve wrestled with an 113 degree temperature! It’s not that big of a deal!”

Neidhart hits a double clothesline to set up Owen’s high crossbody, followed by a spinwheel kick for two on Kato. Tanaka gets in a kick from the apron though and a Fuji cane shot lets the villains take over. Kato is back up with a jumping back elbow for two as Heenan tries to leave to consult with Flair before the Rumble. We get our first “fair to Flair” of the day as Owen does Breth’s chest first into the buckle bump. A superkick gives Tanaka two so he does it again, setting up a headbutt to the, ahem, lower abdomen (even commentary isn’t sure on that one).

Owen fights up and gets over for the tag but the referee doesn’t see it thanks to a well timed distraction (because the classics always work). Instead a belly to belly plants Tanaka for two, leaving them both down. Neidhart gets drawn in again, allowing a double clothesline for two on Owen. Another superkick drops Owen again but he gets back up with a double dropkick. The hot tag brings in Neidhart to clean house as everything breaks down. Owen hits a heck of a suicide dive on Kato, setting up the Rocket Launcher for the pin (Monsoon: “Sayonara baby!”) at 17:19.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of match that I miss in modern wrestling: take some talented people and put them in the ring together for a good while with little on the line. I get why it wouldn’t go over well today, but dang it is a nice flashback to a different era. The New Foundation wasn’t exactly as good as the Harts, but they were good enough to put in a nice effort like this one here.

We look at the Mountie defeating the sick Bret Hart to win the Intercontinental Title. Mountie kept the beatdown going after the match until Roddy Piper made the save. Another sneak attack from Mountie didn’t work, but now we have a title match.

Jimmy Hart is ECSTATIC over the Mountie winning the title. Mountie promises to beat Roddy Piper up, while taking his manhood AND his skirt.

Roddy Piper says we’re looking at one of the original Village People in the Mountie. First, Mountie wants to take Piper’s integrity, but Piper doesn’t have any! Then he’s coming for Piper’s manhood. Piper is here to wrestle, but he doesn’t know what Mountie is here to do. Tonight, Piper can win two titles and now he has to go win the first one.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Mountie is defending and has Jimmy Hart in his corner. Piper unloads to start and Mountie bails outside fast. A Hart distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, followed by some leapfrogs back inside. You can only do that to Piper for so long though as he sends Mountie into the buckle a few times. There’s a bulldog out of the corner as commentary bickers about how many rights Heenan has.

Hart’s distraction lets Mountie get in a few shots, including some face first rams into the buckle. A sunset flip gives Piper two as Heenan again claims the 113 degree temperature, which he survived thanks to half of a children’s Aspirin. Back up and Piper sends him over the top, only to have Mountie skin the cat. Piper sends him into an interfering Hart though, grabs the sleeper, and wins the title at 5:20.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing, but was anyone buying the Mountie as having a chance against Piper? The whole thing was a way to transition the title off of Bret to set up the eventual showdown with Piper at Wrestlemania. Piper winning a title after all those years as a star is great to see though and that was the other major point. Bad match, but a good result.

Post match Hart tries to come in with Mountie’s shock stick, which Piper takes and uses on the Mountie instead. We do get a classic Fink AND NEEEEW moment, with Piper getting to hold the title for a great moment.

Hulk Hogan is ready to win the Royal Rumble, where he won’t have any friends because he wants the WWF Title back.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a disturbingly nerdy guy with a bad suit and a sock sitting out of his pocket) are ready for the Beverly Sisters’ final fling. They’ll beat up the Genius too.

Bushwhackers vs. Beverly Brothers

Jamison and the Genius are here too. We hit the stall button to start, with two and a half minutes passing before the Brothers jump Luke to start the physicality. Luke fights up and bites the back of Blake’s tights, setting up a double forearm to put the Brothers outside. We settle down to Beau vs. Butch as commentary talks about Jack Tunney actually doing something lately.

Beau gets in a cheap shot to take over as commentary talks about 20,000 fans here (17,000 official, so at least it’s not that far off). Everything breaks down again and the Bushwhackers clear the ring for the second time as we are somehow almost seven minutes into this. The Beverlies both try sneaking up from behind to even less avail but this time Butch goes outside to beat up Beau. A cheap shot to Luke finally gets us into a more traditional match, with the Beverlys taking turns with the elbows. Jamison: “Stop cheating!”

A backbreaker puts Luke down again and there’s a headbutt to the back for two. Heenan rants about his tax money going to Jamison as this match just keeps going. Luke gets beaten up again as genius slaps Jamison. One shot is finally enough for Luke to get over for the tag to Butch so house can be cleaned. The Battering Ram hits Blake and a running headbutt gets two on Beau. The referee has to get Luke out though and Blake hits a top rope ax handle to pin Butch at 14:56.

Rating: D-. Yowza this was a horrible match, with nothing good in the way of wrestling, a bunch of repetitive stalling and a lame ending. This was one of the worst pay per view matches I’ve ever seen from the WWF and the time would have been better used by airing an old pinball tournament. Awful in every sense.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house and hold Genius back so Jamison can kick him in the shin. Good for him I’m sure.

The Legion Of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters because they’ll fight anyone. Hawk wants the Disasters’ tongues hanging out like dead deers’.

Tag Team Titles: Natural Disasters vs. Legion Of Doom

The Disasters, with Jimmy Hart, are challenging. Hawk wastes no time in swinging away at Typhoon and everything breaks down quickly. Earthquake comes in and shrugs off Hawk’s dropkick, only to miss a (decent actually) dropkick attempt of his own. Gorilla: “He wouldn’t have hit Sky Low Low with that one!” Well no, as it would have been two feet above Low Low’s head. Think Monsoon.

It’s off to Animal for a double clothesline and knockdown, followed by Animal’s failed slam attempt to put him in trouble again. That lasts all of three seconds as Typhoon comes back in and gets his arm cranked, allowing the tag back to Hawk. A backbreaker cuts Hawk down and Typhoon adds a running crotch attack to the back. The required bearhug goes on before Earthquake steps on Hawk’s ribs.

Another bearhug goes on as Heenan is trying to pay someone to go to the back to get Flair information. This one is broken up just as quickly as the other, leaving Earthquake to miss a splash in the corner. Hawk manages a middle rope elbow to the head and it’s finally off to Animal to pick up the pace. Everything breaks down and they fight to the floor, with only Typhoon beating the count back in for the win at 9:24.

Rating: D+. While it wasn’t good, this is just slightly better than the other tag match and that is what matters here. At the end of the day, the match was about setting up something in the future, even if that didn’t quite happen. The match wasn’t exactly fun to watch, as Earthquake and Typhoon are only going to be able to do so much in the ring. Throw in the LOD being a bit limited in their own right and this was about as good as it was going to get.

Post match the brawl is on and the Disasters are cleared out.

In the back, Jimmy Hart and the Disasters rant a lot.

Roddy Piper is very happy with his win and dedicates it to his son Colt.

After a clip of the famous Barber Shop split, Shawn Michaels doesn’t care that Marty Jannetty is out of the Rumble because Shawn is going to win it anyway.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 and doesn’t care, because he’s Ric Flair.

Randy Savage is ready to get back to the top of the mountain.

Sid Justice is ready to win the Royal Rumble.

Repo Man is ready to repossess the WWF Title.

British Bulldog is ready to win another battle royal, just like he won another one last year at Royal Albert Hall in London.

Jake Roberts is ready to get what he needs and beat up Randy Savage at the same time. Trust him.

Mr. Perfect and Ric Flair are ready for the latter to prove that he is the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer is ready for 29 caskets as the Undertaker is WWF Champion again.

Hulk Hogan is ready for it to be every man for himself in the Royal Rumble so he can get the title back. Hogan was sounding rather whiny and a bit paranoid here.

Jack Tunney gives us a brief welcome and says may the best man win.

WWF Title: Royal Rumble

For the vacant title (after Hulk Hogan cheated to take it back from Undertaker) with two minute intervals. British Bulldog is in at #1 and Ted DiBiase is in at #2 as Heenan is already calculating odds on Flair’s ring time. Bulldog hammers away but charges into an elbow in the corner. DiBiase grabs some suplexes as Heenan suggests going through the ropes and hiding to kill time.

Bulldog gets thrown over the top but hangs on and runs back in to toss DiBiase, leaving Heenan upset. Ric Flair is in at #3 (Heenan: “NO!” Monsoon: “YES!”), sending Monsoon into a statement about how no one from entrants #1-5 has ever made it to the end. Heenan apologizes for not being able to be objective as Bulldog grabs the gorilla press. Flair gets in a poke to the eye for a breather as Jerry Sags is in at #4.

Bulldog gets double teamed as Heenan wants Flair to go rest in the corner. A double clothesline gets Bulldog out of trouble and there’s a dropkick to get rid of Sags (Heenan: “OH NO!”). Haku is in at #5 and goes after Flair (Heenan: “WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HAKU??? HAVE YOU GONE NUTS???” You know, because HAKU is most well known for his calm, rational demeanor), who actually takes him down and drops a knee to the head. Bulldog gets rid of Flair and Shawn Michaels is in at #6.

A superkick drops Flair fast (not yet the big time finisher) and another….lands in the general vicinity of Bulldog’s head as Heenan wants a stiff drink. We also start the weird timing as Heenan says Flair has been in over ten minutes despite the match not even going for ten minutes yet. Tito Santana is in at #7 and has Flair upside down in the corner (Heenan: “PERFECT! GET OUT HERE!”).

Flair slips out and gives Santana a belly to back suplex, followed by a low blow to Bulldog (Heenan: “I’d do that to my grandmother if I had to!”). The Barbarian is in at #8 (Heenan: “When I managed him, he barely liked me!”) and everyone brawls around without much going on. The Texas Tornado is in at #9 and goes right after Flair as Heenan is sounding increasingly desperate. Things slow down even more (fair enough) as the Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man.

Barbarian and Flair double team Tornado and it’s Greg Valentine (in his bizarre face run) at #11. Naturally he goes right for Flair as Heenan talks about how the Perfect Plan called for Flair to go no more than 30 minutes. Flair kicks Repo Man low and it’s Nikolai Volkoff (Heenan: “300 pound Lithuanian!”) in at #11. Valentine grabs the Figure Four on Flair (Heenan….well you can just imagine) as Volkoff is tossed out to clear some of the ring. The Big Boss Man is in at #12 to pick up the energy a bit.

There goes Valentine, with Repo Man and Bulldog following him. Tornado is out as well as Heenan is begging Flair to get away from Boss Man. Santana and Michaels are both out and it’s Hercules at #13. Flair chops at Barbarian (Heenan: “NO RIC!”) and gets gorilla pressed for his efforts. Hercules dumps Barbarian (saving Flair in the process) but gets tossed as well. Boss Man clotheslines Flair but misses a charge and gets low bridged out, leaving Flair alone in the ring.

It’s Roddy Piper in at #14 and Heenan is beside himself as Flair is in even bigger trouble. Piper beats him up and takes it to the floor to keep up the beating. Back in and it’s an airplane spin into the sleeper to knock Flair mostly out. Jake Roberts is in at #15 to sit in the corner as the sleeper continues. Roberts goes after Piper (Heenan: “Thank you Jake!”) before hitting the short arm clothesline (Heenan: “You no good….”). Piper makes the save (Heenan: “It’s not a skirt! It’s a kilt!”) and Flair puts the Figure Four on Roberts. That’s broken up by Piper (Heenan: “You no good skirt wearing…..”) and it’s Jim Duggan in at #16.

Even Monsoon is praising Flair’s conditioning at this point as Heenan thinks Hulk Hogan is behind the order of entrants. Duggan punches Flair into the corner as Roberts does the same to Piper. It’s IRS in at #17 and it’s a double noggin knocker from Duggan to Roberts/Flair, giving us a Flair Flop. Jimmy Snuka is in at #18 and he still looks weird in those long tights. Heenan: “He’s wasting time!” Monsoon: “He is not!” Heenan: “I don’t know what I’m saying anymore.”

Piper chops on Flair in the corner but hands him off to Roberts, who can’t get rid of him. The Undertaker is in at #20 and Heenan is….oddly kind of calm about it. That gives us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker, with Snuka being tossed almost immediately. Undertaker grabs Flair by the throat, with Heenan declaring that everything is over. Duggan saves Flair and gets kicked low by Undertaker (that’s a weird visual) as Randy Savage is in at #21, meaning Roberts bails straight to the floor (not out).

Undertaker jumps Savage from behind so Piper comes back in, only to get kneed over the top by Savage. Hold on though as Savage dives over the top to go after Roberts again….but Undertaker throws Savage back inside, apparently because he wasn’t THROWN over the top. Ignore that this goes against previously established rules, but since when has that mattered? Flair stomps on Savage in the corner and hits Undertaker low, the latter of which doesn’t seem to matter.

Berzerker is in at #22 and hammers on various people as Heenan panics at Flair going after Savage. Undertaker and Piper choke Flair until Virgil is in at #23. Flair survives an Undertaker elimination attempt and it’s Colonel Mustafa in at #24. Monsoon refers to Flair as “Martel” twice, even as Duggan punches Flair in the face. Piper beats on Flair in the corner and it’s Rick Martel in at #25.

Heenan thinks some of the bigger names have gotten some great luck in the drawing, again forgetting an announcement on Superstars that some of the bigger names were guaranteed later numbers. Mustafa is out and everyone brawls….until Hulk Hogan is in at #26 (Heenan: “OH MY GOD NO!”). The brawl is on again as Heenan starts bargaining with God to let Heenan win. Hogan gets rid of Undertaker and Berzerker back to back with Virgil and Duggan going out at the same time.

Skinner is in at #27 as Heenan thinks Flair should be the Real World’s Champion no matter what. Sgt. Slaughter is in at #28 as Skinner is out. Hogan and Piper go at it, with Monsoon sounding almost surprised because they’re friends, despite having one of the most famous rivalries in wrestling history. Flair officially sets the all time record as Sid Justice is in at #29 to quite the reaction.

More brawling ensues as Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final grouping of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Sid and Warlord. Hogan slams Flair at the top and they both roll outside (not eliminated) to fight some more outside. Sid dumps Slaughter as Monsoon can’t believe that Flair is still here. Granted he also thinks Flair has been here for an hour when we’re still coming up on an hour into the match.

Piper pulls IRS out by the tie and Sid dumps Warlord to get us down to six. Sid gets rid of Martel and Piper, leaving us with Savage, Sid, Hogan and Flair, which makes me want to play Super Wrestlemania. There goes Savage as well, leaving Hogan to punch Flair over the top. Hogan goes to dump him but Sid tosses Hogan instead. Ever the nice guy, Hogan grabs Sid’s arm because “you stole my belt”, allowing Flair to dump Sid (with Hogan’s help) for the win and the title at 1:02:02. Heenan: “YESx50!”

Rating: A. Yes it’s still great and it still works as well as probably any Rumble would for almost ten more years. Flair has a great performance in setting the record and never once seeming like he was laying around for any extended period of time. You also have a star studded lineup with all kinds of people feeling like dark horse candidates, meaning there was little down time. Then of course there’s Heenan, who has the call of a lifetime as you can picture him losing his mind at everything falling apart. Monsoon laughing at Heenan when Flair comes out early but then respecting Flair by the end is great too, making this a masterpiece.

Post match Hogan and Sid bicker a lot, setting up Wrestlemania. I remember watching this at around four years old and wondering why Hogan was upset when he was eliminated without breaking any rules. There was no reason for him to be angry over this and he was just whining.

In the back, Jack Tunney presents Ric Flair with the title, allowing Flair to give the incredible “with a tear in my eye” speech, talking about how this is the title that matters the most in the world. Flair, Perfect and Heenan all WOO in celebration. Perfect: “We’re not the kind of guys to say we told you so but….we told you so!” After Flair cracks up at that one (and Gene gets in the infamous “PUT THAT CIGARETTE OUT!”), Gene signs off and sends us to the highlight package to end the show.

Overall Rating: A-. This is a weird show as the main event is the ONLY thing that matters (though the Piper title win was a very nice moment) and everything else is pretty minor. The problem is one of those two matches is horrible and another is pretty bad, bringing the overall rating down a bit. That being said, this is the definition of a one match show and there is little reason to watch anything but the Intercontinental Title match and the main event. One is a feel good moment and the other is an all time classic, so we’ll call this quite the success.

WWF, 2022, 1992, Redo, Royal Rumble, New Foundation, Orient Express, Mountie, Roddy Piper, Jimmy Hart, Hulk Hogan, Bushwhackers, Beverly Brothers, Jamison, The Genius, Natural Disasters, Legion Of Doom, Ric Flair, Hulk Hogan, Sid Justice, Randy Savage, Undertaker

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: C
2023 Redo: C+

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+
2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)
2018 Redo: F
2023 Redo: D-

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D
2023 Redo: D+

Royal Rumble

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A-
2023 Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B
2023 Redo: A-

I’m pretty much done with this show after this one, though it’s still rather great.




Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992 (2023 Edition): It’s Not That Good

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the Redo’s picked for Survivor Series and in a way, that is rather odd. In this case, there is very little Survivor Seriesing going on, with just one elimination match, which happens to be a tag team edition. Other than that, we have a huge tag match as Randy Savage and Mr. Perfect face Razor Ramon and Ric Flair, plus Bret Hart defending the WWE Title against Shawn Michaels. Let’s get to it.

Vince and Bobby run down the card. Bobby is NOT happy about Mr. Perfect joining forces with Randy Savage.

High Energy vs. Headshrinkers

Afa is here with the Headshrinkers. Samu shoves Hart down without much trouble to start but misses a crossbody. Hart’s crossbody and dropkick work far better and it’s off to Ware to work on the arm. For some reason Ware tries ramming their heads together, which works as well as you would expect. Afa gets in a cheap shot from the floor and Fatu runs Ware over with a hard clotheslines as the fans are not pleased.

The nerve hold (you knew that one was coming) goes on and another clothesline drops Ware again. Ware tries to fight up and is casually superkicked right back down (Fatu always had a good superkick). Back up and Ware avoids a charge, with Samu going head first into the post. That’s enough for the tag off to Hart to pick the pace way up. A high crossbody gets two on Fatu but Samu plants him with a powerslam. Fatu’s Superfly Splash finishes Hart at 7:40.

Rating: C+. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan and this was a good example of why. They did some things rather well (Fatu’s superkick and splash looked awesome) but they are a team where what you see is what you get. While High Energy was out there flying around and doing what they could, the Headshrinkers were out there to hit you hard and do their second generation Wild Samoan stuff. It worked back in the day and it worked again here in a nice opener.

Nailz, with that still weird deep voice, has been looking forward to hurting the Big Boss Man for a long time. Tonight, he gets the chance, with Boss Man unable to handcuff him to a steel bunk bed. Boss Man and his feel guards know what kind of a good climber he is! He committed no crime but tonight he’s ready to do horrible things to Boss Man with that nightstick. How Sean Mooney doesn’t crack up at all of this is unclear.

Big Boss Man doesn’t buy Nailz saying he’s an innocent man because he’s seen the file. His job is to make sure Nails serves hard time…and then he literally runs off to the ring.

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Nightstick on a pole match with Boss Man charging to the ring as Nailz is already climbing. Boss Man slugs away but gets whipped hard into the corner. Nailz hammers away but it’s too early for him to get the stick. Back up and Boss Man goes simple by punching him in the face, only to get slammed off when going for the stick. The chinlock goes on (Heenan: “RIP IT OFF!”) but Boss Man fights out, only to miss a splash.

Boss Man knocks him down again and they both get a breather. They get up for a double clothesline and they’re both down again. That’s enough for Boss Man to get the stick and deck Nailz in the face but he shrugs it off. A right hand makes Boss Man drop the stick and Nailz gets in a few shots of his own. Not that it matters as the Boss Man Slam is enough to pin Nailz at 5:40.

Rating: D+. The nightstick doesn’t make much of a difference if it doesn’t make an impact and that was the case here. They traded nightstick shots and barely hurt each other so there wasn’t much of a point. Other than that, it was a slow brawl without anything important. Lame stuff here as Boss Man was rapidly running out of steam.

Ric Flair and Razor Ramon aren’t happy with Mr. Perfect turning on them to join Mr. Savage as Ultimate Warrior’s replacement. We see a clip of Savage picking Perfect and Bobby Heenan running his mouth to make Perfect switch sides. Heenan begging for mercy and for Perfect to reconsider is such a Heenan thing for him to do. Flair and Ramon swear vengeance on the now crazy Perfect.

Heenan goes on a great rant against Perfect as only he could.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

This is during Martel’s kind of sailing captain phase and he has some of Tatanka’s feathers to make this personal. Tatanka gets driven into the corner to start but he reverses and chops away. Some dropkicks have Martel on the floor, followed by an atomic drop to put him outside again. Back in and Martel grabs a hot shot (Heenan approves) to take over.

The front facelock goes on as we hear about Sgt. Slaughter being Jack Tunney’s official rule enforcer. Tatanka suplexes his way out of a front facelock but Martel puts it right back on. Cue Doink The Clown as Martel knocks Tatanka back down and grabs the same front facelock. Tatanka fights up and hits a clothesline before avoiding a charge to send Martel shoulder first into the post.

The arm cranking goes on as the fans are just silent here. An armdrag into an armbar cuts off the energy again as this just keeps going. Martel fights up and sends him to the floor, only to get punched out of the air back inside. Tatanka starts the comeback and hits the top rope chop to the head. The Papoose To Go finally finishes Martel at 11:07.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match that wasn’t awful, but instead really boring. Tatanka and Martel could probably have a good match that runs about seven minutes but there is nothing you can get out of that many front facelocks and then Tatanka working the arm late in the match. Not a terrible match, but it took me a long time to get through it as it was just that dull.

Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage know that Ric Flair hates them being a team. Perfect is ready to take out Flair and Razor Ramon, because Bobby Heenan knows Perfect can beat both of them. Savage says if the villains were mad before, they’re going to be even madder in a little while.

Ric Flair/Razor Ramon vs. Mr. Perfect/Randy Savage

Heenan is of course incredible here with his rants about what is coming to Perfect. Ramon and Perfect get things going with Ramon hitting a running shoulder. That doesn’t work for Perfect, who is back with a slap but Perfect bails from the threat of a double team. Flair comes in and is quickly taken down by Perfect, who chops away in the corner. There’s the Flair Flip to the apron, where Savage knocks him to the floor for a bonus.

It’s off to Savage for a top rope ax handle to the ribs, leaving a Flair fan (in robe) losing it in the crowd. Savage slugs away on Flair and the interfering Ramon, setting up that signature running clothesline on Flair. A cheap shot slows Savage down though and it’s Ramon coming in to slug away. Ramon can’t get anywhere with Savage’s leg so he goes with the choking instead.

Flair slugs away in the corner and it’s right back to Ramon for the abdominal stretch. With that broken up, Flair tosses Savage over the top for a crash, setting up the running knee. Ramon grabs a kind of weak half crab….and Perfect is walking up the aisle. He sees Savage bleeding on the screen though and that’s enough to draw him back, much to Heenan’s annoyance.

With order restored, Flair gets two off a chop but Savage manages a desperation backslide for the same. Ramon comes right back in and grabs a chokeslam for two more on Savage. There’s a clothesline to put him down again but for some reason Flair goes up, earning a slam off the bottom rope for an extra big crash. The double tag (diving on Savage’s end) brings in Perfect to face Ramon as everything breaks down.

Flair chairs Savage in the head with a chair on the floor and Perfect is whipped into the referee. Another referee comes out as Perfect flips out of a Razor’s Edge and grabs the PerfectPlex. The new referee counts two as Flair makes the save so it’s PerfectPlex to him as well. The first referee counts two with Ramon making a save, meaning the villains are finally DQ’d at 16:30.

Rating: B-. It was one of the featured matches on the show but it was only so interesting. The biggest problem here is that the heat on Savage was rather long and then the ending felt like it was designed to set something else down the line. Flair and Perfect would keep going but Savage and Ramon were pretty much done, making this a preview for something that didn’t happen.

Post match the beatdown is on until Savage makes the save with a chair. Perfect gets the chair and clean house (Heenan: “SOMEBODY GET DOWN THERE AND STOP HIM!”). The announcement of the DQ gives us a classic THAT’S NOT FAIR TO FLAIR! Respect is shown.

Flair and Ramon swear vengeance.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Yokozuna does his sumo stomps in the corner and knocks Virgil down without much trouble. Some dropkicks work for Virgil but he tries an O’Connor roll to limited avail. A superkick cuts Virgil down and Yokozuna slowly pounds away. Virgil’s comeback attempt is cut off by a side slam and the big legdrop makes it worse. The splash in the corner sets up the Banzai Drop to finish Virgil at 3:44.

Rating: C. Pretty much a total squash here and that’s all it needed to be. This version of Yokozuna was rather mobile and someone who felt like different kind of monster. It makes sense to put him out here to wreck a loser like Virgil and he looked rather dominant. Good stuff here, and the push is clearly coming.

Mr. Perfect has turkeys for Ric Flair and Razor Ramon. Bobby Heenan gets a little chicken.

Natural Disasters/Nasty Boys vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

The villains have the Genius/Jimmy Hart in their corner and if one person is eliminated, their partner is as well. Typhoon backs Blake into the corner and then shoves him into the corner without much effort. An over the shoulder backbreaker has Blake in more trouble and Earthquake comes in for a bearhug. A powerslam puts Blake down again and Knobbs runs him over to make it worse.

It’s off to Sags, who finally gets caught in the wrong corner so Beau can come in for a change. Sags hits a pumphandle slam (Vince: “What a wrestling maneuver!”) but Beau grabs a butterfly suplex. DiBiase comes in for a change but gets suplexed down in a hurry. IRS comes in and elbows Sags down so Beau can drop an elbow for two. The chinlock goes on but Sags fights up for a double knockdown. The tag brings Earthquake back in to wreck everything, setting up the Earthquake to Beau for the elimination at 9:26.

Earthquake runs DiBiase over and it’s Typhoon coming in for a headbutt. A missed charge actually lets Money Inc. manage a double belly to back suplex, followed by a wishbone snap. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by DiBiase’s middle rope ax handle. DiBiase’s middle rope dive into a raised boot lands on a raised boot and it’s back to Typhoon to clean house. The big splash hits IRS but DiBiase makes the save, allowing IRS to drop an elbow for the pin at 15:55. Then Sags rolls IRS up for the pin at 16:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t exactly good but rather long with almost nothing worth seeing. There was a story o Hart losing Money Inc. and the Disasters as teams while the Nasty Boys wanted the Tag Team Titles but that wasn’t exactly thrilling here. This felt like lip service to having the Survivor Series concept and if that’s the best they’ve got, they might as well have just skipped it this year (which they seemed to want to do).

Randy Savage, Mr. Perfect and Tatanka are on the Superstar Line.

Heenan rants about Perfect again.

We recap Kamala beating up Undertaker at Summerslam, only to have Undertaker do the situp and scare him away. Undertaker wanted revenge and Kamala was terrified of a casket, so he built a really big casket. It was a simpler time.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Coffin match (win by pin/submission, loser goes into the casket) with Paul Bearer, Kim Chee and Harvey Wippleman here as well. Undertaker chases him to the floor to start but Kamala chops away back inside. That’s fine with Undertaker, who strikes right back and hits Old School. Well not that old at this point.

Some shots to the face stagger Undertaker though and Kamala sends him outside for a ram into the steps. A chair to the back staggers Undertaker again but some chops don’t do much back inside. Three slams in a row set up a series of splashes but lets bring the Urn in. Kamala freaks out so Undertaker gets up and hits him in the head with it for the win at 5:28.

Rating: C-. Another not so great match as Kamala just wasn’t that interesting in the ring. It also doesn’t help that there was almost no way to imagine Kamala beating Undertaker, who was a major star and far out of Kamala’s league. The match was a way to wrap things up for Undertaker, who needed a new monster to slay. Much like the previous match, this was a way to get something (or someone) on the show and that didn’t make it interesting.

Post match Kamala nails the coffin shut and wheels it out.

Intercontinental Champion Shawn Michaels says he beat the British Bulldog for the title and since the Bulldog beat Bret Hart for the title, Michaels can beat Bret tonight.

Bret Hart says he’s ready to beat Shawn and add him to a list of recently defeated challengers (Berzerker! Rick Martel! VIRGIL!). We hear about how Bret rose through the ranks to get here and he isn’t ready to lose just yet, even to a great wrestler like Shawn.

WWF Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart

Only Bret is defending. After the handing off of the sunglasses to a kid, Bret takes Shawn into the corner. They go to the mat with Bret easily taking control and sending Shawn bailing to the rope. Back up and Bret takes over on the arm, including some armbarring. We’ll make that some hammerlocking with some knees to the arm but Shawn is back up with a hammerlock of his own.

That’s reversed with a toss out to the floor, followed by another armbar back inside. Shawn slugs his way out of trouble, only to get clotheslined down for two. The armbar goes on again but Shawn drops him across the top to get a breather. Shawn sends him shoulder first into the post and hits a DDT onto the arm. We hit the chinlock for a good while, setting up a backbreaker into another chinlock.

Bret fights up and gets a neckbreaker but Shawn takes him right back down. Now it’s a front facelock to keep Bret down, though this time he’s back up with some shoulders in the corner. The bulldog out of the corner sets up the missed middle rope elbow and we’re back to the front facelock. Bret is up again and manages a belly to back suplex before sending him head first into the post.

There’s the backdrop (you know Bret can call that one) into the Russian legsweep for two, followed by the middle rope elbow for the same. A high impact superplex gives Bret a rather delayed near fall and they’re getting tired. The referee gets crushed in the corner…but is right back up. Shawn sends Bret outside and manages a posting, followed by his own backdrop for his own two back inside.

The superkick (not yet the finisher, or even named) doesn’t even warrant a cover so the teardrop suplex (almost an Angle Slam) gives Shawn two. Bret gets in a shot though and gets Shawn tied up in the ropes, only to miss a charge and crash hard. Shawn goes up but dives right into the Sharpshooter to retain Bret’s title at 26:39.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a few times now and while it is good, it really needed to be about eight minutes shorter. There is a lot of time spent just sitting there in either the armbar or the chinlock, which can get rather tedious. It got better near the end and Bret is a beatable enough champion to make this work, but it went longer than it needed to and that brought things down a bit.

And then Santa Claus comes out to celebrate with Bret to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. The two big matches are good enough and they get more time than almost anything else on the show, but the biggest problem here is nothing really feels major. Bret vs. Shawn feels more like a really enhanced midcard match while the big tag match is….I’m not sure what it is but it didn’t feel important enough to be the featured match. It’s clear that the WWF is in a transitional period here and it’s really not clicking yet. Not an awful show, but nothing you need to see save for maybe some historical curiosity.

 

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

2012 Redo: C+

2023 Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

2012 Redo: D

2023 Redo: D+

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
2012 Redo: C-

2023 Redo: C

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

2012 Redo: C

2023 Redo: C-

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

2012 Redo: F

2023 Redo: C-


Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

2012 Redo: A

2023 Redo: B

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

2012 Redo: B-

2023 Redo: C

Yeah Bret vs. Shawn just isn’t that great.




WWF Crunch Classic: This Is Not A Classic

Crunch Classic
Host: Roddy Piper
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan, Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

You ever just feel the need for some Coliseum Video goodness? Well this is from 1992 so the goodness might not be at its highest level but it’s a tape I haven’t looked at before. I’m not sure how accurate the term “classic” is going to be here but the WWF does have a reputation for false advertising. Let’s get to it.

Roddy Piper welcomes us to the show and talks about some of his crunch classic moments, including beating up Mr. T., Jimmy Snuka and Cyndi Lauper, but he never had a belt to put around his waist. Then he met the Mountie.

From the 1992 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is challenging and knocks Mountie, with Jimmy Hart, outside in a hurry. A cheap shot on the floor slows Piper down but he sends Mountie into the corner a few times back inside. Piper hits a bulldog for two but misses a dropkick allowing Mountie to send him into the buckle as well.

Commentary talks about how Bret Hart had a 103 degree fever when he lost the title to the Mountie, with Heenan talking about how he wrestled with 113 degree fever. All it took was a children’s Bayer. Heenan: “The orange flavored ones!” Piper atomic drops him over the top but Mountie skins the cat. That’s fine with Piper, who sends him into an invading Hart and grabs the sleeper for the win and the title at 5:21.

Rating: C+. I’ve seen this match more times than I can remember and the only thing that matters is Piper finally getting his moment. No one bought Mountie as a serious champion so this was about as good of an effort as he was going to put up here. Piper was LONG overdue to win something and it’s as much of a feel good moment as you’re going to get.

Post match Hart tries to come in with the shock stick but Piper takes it away and shocks Mountie instead. With the villains dispatched, we get the big AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW title call in one of Fink’s best ever announcements.

From Dayton, Ohio, October 22, 1991.

Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Money Inc.

It’s not Money Inc., yet but close enough. They also have Sensational Sherri with them, which is kind of a weird combination. Virgil is also Million Dollar Champion, just to make DiBiase all the more annoyed. Thankfully Mooney dubs them Money Inc. just after the bell so I can save time on an edit. Boss Man chases IRS into the corner to start before IRS charges into a raised boot.

Virgil comes in to sunset flip DiBiase for two and there’s an atomic drop to send him outside. Back in and Virgil charges into a boot in the corner so IRS can add the flying shoulder. DiBiase’s suplex gets two and IRS’s legdrop gets the same. Virgil finally gets in a shot of his own and the big (not hot, but big) tag brings in Boss Man to clean house. With nothing else working, Sherri takes her shoe off but hits IRS by mistake, allowing Virgil to get the rollup pin at 7:03.

Rating: C. They were trying really hard with Virgil at this point and the win here was another step, but it just wasn’t going to go anywhere outside of the DiBiase feud. Other than that, this was a pretty nothing match, but the fans got to cheer at the end as they should have. For a dark match from a TV taping, I’ve seen much worse.

Post match yelling ensues but DiBiase calms IRS down with cash.

Here’s a special feature on 24 Hours With Jimmy Hart. We catch up with him arriving at a hotel (sans limo of course) over what appears to be Wrestlemania VIII weekend. Hart’s wrestlers are checked in but his room won’t be ready for about three hours. He can stay in a room in the basement though, meaning he has an office. Mountie comes in and says Jimmy was supposed to take care of his stick tonight. Later, Money Inc. is here to make sure everything is planned, including an appearance on the Arsenio Hall Show.

Hart finally falls asleep (reading WWF Magazine of course) when a phone call tells him about various problems with his wrestlers. Later, the Nasty Boys aren’t ready to go to the ring so Hart runs off on his own. Hart is FINALLY done….and his room key doesn’t work, leading to a nervous breakdown. This was funny enough, but Hart can make anything worth a laugh.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

New Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

That would be Owen Hart/Jim Neidhart and Jimmy Hart is with the Nastys. Neidhart and Knobbs start things off with the former firing off the big forearms in the corner. Everything breaks down and Neidhart whips Owen through the ropes for a big dive. Owen backflips in from the top to show off a bit and the fans approve. Back in and the Nastys go with the double teaming to take over for all of five seconds before Owen armdrags his way to freedom.

Neidhart comes back in to stay on the arm but it’s right back to Owen, who gets slapped in the face. That’s enough for the Nastys to finally get him in the corner so the choking can begin. Sags grabs a chinlock until Owen fights up for a failed sunset flip attempt. Some elbows to the back keep Owen down and we hit the reverse chinlock. Owen fights up and brings Neidhart back in to clean house, including a shoulder to Knobbs. That doesn’t work for Sags, who throws the referee out for the DQ at 7:26.

Rating: D+ Owen was trying here but the New Foundation never quite clicked. At the same time, you know exactly what you’re going to get from the Nasty Boys so there wasn’t much to get excited about here. The ending does seem stupid but the Nastys were a bigger deal and given that this was being recorded, it makes sense to try and protect them a bit here.

Roddy Piper talks about beating up Jimmy Hart and Adrian Adonis at Wrestlemania III (Piper: “92,271 paid admission. And me. The Scotsman, I don’t may for nothing!”). It was one of the greatest nights of his life because the people were cheering for him.

From Wrestlemania III.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Hair vs. hair, Adonis has Jimmy Hart in his corner and this has Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred Hayes on commentary to avoid Jesse Ventura issues. They slug it out to start with Piper pulling out a belt to whip away. Hart gets beaten up as well but the distraction lets Adonis take the belt and get in his own whips. Back up and Piper whips him over the corner to the floor (which Adonis can do despite weighing well over 300lbs here), setting up the very 1987 double noggin knocker.

Hart trips Piper though and Adonis gets to rake at the skin a bit. Adonis hammers away on the ropes so Piper says bring it on, earning himself a spray from the atomizer. The sleeper goes on (which is more like a smother) but Adonis lets him go at two arm drops. Cue Brutus Beefcake to wake Piper up and the comeback is on. Piper decks Hart and sleepers Adonis for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B-. This is a good example of a match that is carried by the crowd reactions. The fans were going NUTS for this stuff and it made for a special match as a result. They completely embraced Piper in this role after hating him for so many years and this whole thing was such a blast. Not a good match from a quality standpoint, but it was a good payoff to a red hot feud.

Post match Beefcake goes to cut Adonis’ hair but it’s rather wet so the shave only goes so well. Adonis wakes up and sees the hair cut in a well placed mirror, sending him into a rage until he falls to the floor.

And now, a fan request match. From Utica, New York, November 11, 1991.

British Bulldog vs. Undertaker

Paul Bearer is here with Undertaker as commentary points out that Undertaker is being “more friendly” lately, though this was before he turned. Bulldog hammers away to start and knocks Undertaker over the top for the feet first landing. A ram into the steps rocks Undertaker again but he’s right back with the uppercuts. The smother to the face slows Bulldog down as Bearer says THE POWER OF THE URN COMPELS YOU. Bulldog fights up and manages a slightly delayed suplex, setting up the running powerslam but bearer offers a distraction. An urn shot gives Undertaker the pin at 7:09.

Rating: C. This is more of a historical curiosity than anything else but it is still kind of cool to see. The Bulldog was around the height of his singles career at this point but Undertaker was a force of a different kind. They had to turn him as he was getting such positive reactions and it’s almost weird to hear commentary have to backtrack a bit because of the taping schedule.

Post match Undertaker loads up the body bag but Bulldog fights up and clears the ring.

From Austin, Texas, December 4, 1991.

Texas Tornado vs. Rick Martel

Martel shows of his (rather impressive) physique to start before going with some knees to the ribs. They fight over a lockup until Martel rakes the eyes until Tornado finally throws him outside. Back in and Tornado works on the arm, including an armbar. Tornado misses a charge into the post though and Martel hits a middle rope ax handle to put him down. Martel dives into the claw but makes the rope, allowing him to spray Arrogance in Tornado’s face for the DQ at 5:59.

Rating: D+. Really? You can’t have Martel lose to the Claw in TEXAS? I get the idea of protecting some people but Rick Martel? In 1991? I don’t get this one, but on top of that it just wasn’t that great of a match. Martel is a good hand and did his thing here, but Tornado did little more than the arm cranking and the Claw.

Roddy Piper doesn’t like snakes, so let’s go to Jake Roberts talking about how Snakes Make Fun Pets. Jake talks about how snakes will feed on themselves and how they have been around since the time of Adam and Eve. But now, a senile old man named Jack Tunney is barring him from bringing a snake to the ring.

Jake likes snakes because they’re survivors, and we see a clip of a cobra bit Randy Savage’s arm (that TERRIFIED me as a kid). The other nice thing about snakes is how many different kinds there really are. We see Jake holding various snakes and seemingly threatening us with them before promising the snakes will be back. This was pretty much just an extended Jake promo, which isn’t a bad thing. What might be a bad thing: including a long Jake promo when he was gone from the company by the time this was released.

From Cornwall, Ontario, Canada, September 10, 1991.

Skinner vs. Jim Neidhart

After standing there for about forty seconds, Skinner gets out and runs up the aisle before coming back with…something. Then it disappears and we continue the stalling before they lock up about two minutes in. Skinner’s running shoulder doesn’t hurt Neidhart but a hiptoss does take him down.

Skinner does it again and then grabs a headlock, only to be knocked out to the floor. Back in and an atomic drop puts Skinner right back outside, allowing Neidhart to grab the can of tobacco reside. Skinner is so annoyed that he goes up the aisle for a bit, only to have Neidhart come back with the headlock inside again.

With the match still in first gear, Skinner gets in a shot to the throat to escape and starts choking. That doesn’t last long so Skinner switches it up by hitting him in the ribs and then the throat. Neidhart fights back up and they go to the floor for the double countout at 13:15. Actually hang on as it’s a time limit draw, because that makes such a difference here.

Rating: D-. Who in the world thought this was a good idea? It’s bad enough that the match took place, but then they recorded it on top of that? What were they expecting this to be? They were stalling to get through a bunch of the time and then it got even worse. Awful match here and they seemed perfectly fine with that being the case.

Post match Neidhart wants to keep it going but Skinner leaves. Smart man.

From Lubbock, Texas, January 27, 1992.

Natural Disasters vs. Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter

The Natural Disasters have Jimmy Hart with them. Duggan and Typhoon start things off, with Duggan firing off some clotheslines to finally put him down. It’s off to Slaughter for some forearms in the corner as Typhoon stays in trouble. Back up and Typhoon hands it off to Earthquake, who quickly pounds Duggan down.

Earthquake misses a charge in the corner but he’s fine enough to knee Duggan in the back. It’s back to Typhoon for the bearhug, followed by another one from Earthquake. Duggan fights out and hands it back over to Slaughter as everything breaks down. Earthquake tries to bring in the megaphone so Duggan grabs the 2×4, which earns him the DQ to give the Disasters the win at 9:26.

Rating: D+. Another dull match that didn’t go anywhere, making it a perfectly uninteresting way to end a tape mostly full of such matches. Duggan and Slaughter were a fine enough patriotic team and there was a discussion of this match being the Tag Team Title match at Wrestlemania VIII but obviously that didn’t happen, which might be for the best if this is what we were going to get.

Roddy wraps us up.

Overall Rating: D. This was AWFUL and one of the worst Coliseum Videos I can remember. The biggest problem here was a lack of energy, as it didn’t feel like anyone was really trying. The biggest highlight here was the Piper vs. Adonis match from Wrestlemania, which should tell you everything you need to know about the tape. Dreadful stuff here and I have no idea what about this was supposed to be a classic.

 

 

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Summerslam Count-Up – Summerslam 1991 (2013 Redo): Wedding Day Chairs

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

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WrestleFest 1992: More Like Festering

WrestleFest 1992
Hosts: Gene Okerlund, Bobby Heenan
Commentators: Sean Mooney, Lord Alfred Hayes

I’ve done most every other show in this series so we might as well do the last one. This is a Coliseum Video without much of a particular theme and that means we could be going in all kinds of directions. We’re a bit past my favorite time but odds are there is going to be some Bret Hart and/or Shawn Michaels goodness to carry it through. Let’s get to it.

Dig that old Coliseum Video intro. It’s not the 80s version but I can always go for this one too.

Gene Okerlund is on the tennis court and we have a theme for the tape. Now of course he’s going to need a partner, so here is Bobby Heenan, complete with a sweatband. Gene offers a lesson but Heenan has a table tennis paddle. Heenan: “You play with a Chinese guy and he brings you egg rolls. It’s a heck of a game.” Heenan, in a sweater, complains about the heat but let’s go to our first match.

From New York City, New York, March 23, 1992.

Shawn Michaels vs. Virgil

Sherri is here with Michaels and Mooney calls Virgil (still with his broken nose) “one of the most popular Superstars in the World Wrestling Federation”. Hayes calls him one of the most improved wrestlers of the 90s, which has me wanting these two checked into a sanitarium. Shawn and Sherri take their time getting rid of the gear and after a minute plus, we’re finally ready to go. Michaels takes him into the corner and punches the nose guard in a moment of general stupidity.

We now pause for Sherri to kiss Shawn’s hand before a slap to Virgil’s face has Shawn bailing to the floor. Virgil isn’t having that and throws Shawn back in as we see Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan at ringside for the original commentary. Shawn punches out of a headlock but gets pulled right back into another one to keep him in trouble. Back up and a clothesline puts Virgil on the floor and Shawn gets a rather needed breather.

With Virgil back in, Shawn gets evil by lifting the nose guard for a shot to the face. Stomping and facial ripping ensue as things slow down and we hit the chinlock. Virgil fights up and is quickly dropped with a right hand to the exposed nose. You can’t blame Shawn for going too complicated here and it’s going to get the fans to hate him even more. A clothesline cuts off the comeback attempt but Virgil manages a quick faceplant.

Now the comeback is on, with an atomic drop sending Shawn into the buckle. Virgil even takes off his own nose guard to hit a dropkick (I guess the guard was weighing him down?) for two. A knee misses in the corner though and Shawn hits the teardrop suplex for the pin at 12:13.

Rating: C. Completely fine match here but the biggest problem with Virgil is that he’s just…..there. Nothing about his work in the ring made him stand out whatsoever because he was just a guy in gear doing basic moves. That wasn’t going to last long and every day that he spent away from Ted DiBiase made him feel less important. Shawn was coming along as a heel, but he needs to heed Razor Ramon’s advice: just use the kick.

From Toledo, Ohio, April 7, 1992.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Bushwhackers

Money Inc., with Jimmy Hart, is defending shockingly enough. The champs jump them to start but a pair of Battering Rams break that up. Stereo biting of the pants/trunks have Money Inc. on the floor and we pause for a breather. We settle down to IRS taking over on Butch and sending him into the buckle.

A missed charge allows the tag off to Luke though and the champs are rammed into each other. Back to back Battering Rams send Money Inc. outside again and it’s time for some Hart advice. That actually seems to work for once as IRS takes over on Luke back inside, including an abdominal stretch.

We get the classic heel cheating behind the referee’s back, because that’s what good villains are supposed to do. IRS grabs the chinlock but Luke fights up and kicks DiBiase in the face. The hot tag brings in Butch to clean house as everything breaks down. Hart offers a distraction though and IRS gets in a knee to the back. An elbow drop of all things is enough to retain the titles at 8:31.

Rating: C. This felt entirely like a house show match and that’s more or less what it was, despite airing on Prime Time Wrestling. The fun team got in a few moments before the villains cheated to keep their titles. They didn’t bother doing anything overly complicated here and let their talent shine through, which is something that is going to work more often than not.

Back at the court, Gene tries to explain the idea of serving to Heenan, who is more interested in the Freebird Sisters. Gene’s serve is fine enough (though Heenan thinks he hit an old lady), but Heenan uses his racket to pick up some drinks. Gene thinks his has been spiked but Heenan reminds him that it’s free. Ok then.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 10, 1992.

British Bulldog vs. Rick Martel

Martel sends him into the corner to start and flips backwards because he likes to show off. Bulldog isn’t having that and grabs a headlock, which kills the crowd a good bit. An armbar doesn’t get much more of a reaction but an accidental referee distraction lets Martel send him outside.

Some shots to the back have Bulldog in trouble and Martel, like anyone paying attention, stomps away back inside. Bulldog fights up and starts a rather basic comeback, only to have Martel bail outside at the threat of a right hand (that’s the moneymaker you see). That doesn’t work for Bulldog, who throws him back inside for a sunset flip (including Martel grabbing the ropes and getting caught) and the pin at 5:21.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a quick match with neither getting to do very much. Bulldog didn’t even get to use the powerslam, which made it feel a little lame. At the same time, they weren’t given the chance to really do anything, which is a shame as the talent is there for a good match. Bad circumstances here and they led to a not so good match.

We get a special profile on Intercontinental Champion Bret Hart. This includes the last few minutes of his title win over Mr. Perfect at Summerslam 1991 (an absolute classic) and the last few minutes of his defense against Skinner at This Tuesday In Texas.

From Springfield, Massachusetts, November 12, 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Barbarian

Barbarian is challenging and tries to put the title around himself to start the match. We’re ready to go with Bret fighting out of a headlock but getting shouldered out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and another shoulder drops Bret again, but this time he manages to stay inside (baby steps).

A crossbody goes badly as well but Barbarian misses an elbow drop. An armbar slows Barbarian down a bit, at least until he comes back with a hot shot to drop Bret again. Some rams into the post keep Hart’s back in trouble and Barbarian slowly chops away back inside. There’s the required chest first buckle shot and Barbarian grabs the bearhug.

Bret manages to fight out pretty quickly and cuts off a corner charge with a raised boot. A clothesline into the backbreaker into the middle rope elbow gives Bret two but the kickout sends him outside (that’s rather strong). Barbarian grabs a suplex for two and tries another one, only to get small packaged for the retaining pin at 12:28.

Rating: C+. This was as 1992 Bret Hart of a match as you could get and that means it went pretty well. Bret could be put in there against anyone and do a nice job, with the Barbarian fitting the bill pretty easily. One of the big appeals for Bret is being able to wrestle a good match with any opponent and it was on full display here. Barbarian might not have been a major star, but he knew what he was and played it the right way for a very long time.

Heenan isn’t doing so well against a woman sitting in a chair hitting balls to him. He’s off to get a new racket and leaves us with this.

From Biloxi, Mississippi, March 10, 1992.

Natural Disasters vs. Nasty Boys

Jimmy Hart is here with the Nastys. We pause for the Nastys to argue with a kid in the front row until Sags slugs away at Typhoon. With that not working, it’s off to Knobbs vs. Earthquake, which isn’t as much of a disaster for the Disaster. Earthquake shoulders him down a few times but Sags gets in a cheap shot with the helmet (Hayes: “Now there’s a nice move.”) to put him down for a change.

As commentary debates how horrible the Nastys really are, Sags slowly hammers away in the corner. Earthquake shrugs off some running elbows so Knobbs comes in to cut off a tag attempt. The referee misses the tag to Typhoon, who comes in anyway as everything breaks down. Earthquake hits a quick elbow to finish Sags at 6:33 as Typhoon throws Hart at Knobbs.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here between two teams you don’t see together very often. The Natural Disasters were a heck of a monster team for a little while, as the visual alone made them work. The Nastys were really starting to click around here too, and having the whole Jimmy Hart jumping around from team to team deal made it all the better. Not much of a match, but at least it didn’t last long.

From Kalamazoo, Michigan, April 8, 1992.

WWF Title: Randy Savage vs. IRS

IRS, with Jimmy Hart, is challenging three days after Savage won the title. They hit the stall button to start as IRS won’t let go of the briefcase. Back in and they finally lock up, with Savage grabbing a headlock. A Hart distraction lets IRS get to the floor as Sean warns Hayes to watch what he says because Savage is going to see this tape.

IRS gets back in and is quickly atomic dropped to the floor, where Savage can knock him into Hart. Back in and another Hart distraction lets IRS get in a knee to the back to finally take over. Savage is sent face first into the steps and Savage is in trouble. They get back inside and we hit the abdominal stretch, complete with a pull of the rope. The referee manages to catch him this time though and Savage gets in a few shots.

Another knee to the back drops the champ again though, as IRS continues his usual steady but not so interesting offense. The chinlock goes on, as do IRS’s feet on the ropes, but Savage fights up again. With nothing else working, Hart gets on the apron with the briefcase, only to have Savage ram IRS into it instead. Hart is knocked down and the top rope elbow retains the title at 11:17.

Rating: C. This was getting into the lamer version of Savage, as it was take a beating for a long time and then get in one shot, followed by the elbow for the pin. Savage still felt like a major star, but save for the Flair match, he wasn’t quite the same in the ring. If nothing else, I do like the idea of giving him a fairly easy title defense, especially as he had only won the title in the huge match a few days earlier.

And now, a special feature with Mr. Fuji and the Berzerker, showing us…..how to throw a party? First step: turn down the music so we can actually hear Fuji. First official step: getting the invitations right. Or in Berzerker’s case, find someone in the back and kidnap them. Then you need “lots of little gimmicks and stuff”, like streamers and balloons. You also need good food, like finger sandwiches, which means sticking your fingers in peanut butter and ribbing them on bread. That’s all you need to know! This wasn’t funny.

From Kalamazoo, Michigan, April 8, 1992.

Repo Man vs. El Matador

Feeling out process to start with Repo taking him into the corner and then working on an armbar. You don’t try to armbar Santana (commentary calls him that so I can too) as he reverses into one of his own before hammering away. A running crossbody gives Santana a quick two but Repo is back with his basic shots to the face. The slam into a legdrop gets two but Santana is back with a clothesline. Repo gets knocked outside and grappling hooks Santana in the ribs for the DQ at 7:30.

Rating: D+. Blech. This was rather boring and never got out of maybe first and a half gear. Their offenses were both very basic, which is rather sad when you consider just how good Santana could be with almost anyone. Granted Repo was never known for burning up the mat, but how do you have a lame match with Tito Santana?

Post match Repo chokes with the hook again, making Santana foam at the mouth.

From Niagara Falls, New York, April 28, 1992.

Legion Of Doom/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Nasty Boys

Jimmy Hart is here with the villains and the other side has Paul Ellering. It takes over a minute to decide who starts until we get Hawk shoving DiBiase into the corner. DiBiase has some better luck with chops but Hawk cleans house with chops. Everything breaks down and the bad guys are sent to the floor and we slow down again. Sean: “This really is a classic tag team match.” First off, no it isn’t and second off, it’s just over three minutes in. That’s some rather fast classic designating.

We settle down to Hawk elbowing IRS in the face but Sags comes in for an elbow of his own. The villains start taking turns on Hawk, including DiBiase grabbing a neckbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock, because that’s what the match needs right now. Hawk fights up, gets caught in the wrong corner, and everything breaks down. Earthquake beats on Knobbs before sitting on Sags for the pin at 7:59.

Rating: D. Egads this tape could not have ended any faster and even these guys felt like they wanted out of there. This was another dull match to end a tape of them and there was no way around it. I know they didn’t have a ton of time, but they should have ha enough talent in there to have some kind of a wild fight. But then again, why do that when you can just stand around in slow motion?

Heenan believes he has mastered tennis and tries to jump the net, only to crotch himself. Some women show up to talk to Gene and that’s how we wrap it up.

Overall Rating: D. Bret vs. Barbarian is a rather basic match that was well done with Bret being good enough to make it work. It’s also the best match on the tape by a good margin, which should tell you about all you need here. They really couldn’t put in a better Shawn match or something with Flair or Piper? I like Money Inc. and the Natural Disasters, but I really didn’t need to see them this much. Savage’s match was even against half of Money Inc. to make sure they’re on there again. This wasn’t so much bad as much as it was completely uninteresting, which made this a much harder sit. Watch anything else.

 

 

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Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992 (2012 Redo): Round One

Survivor Series 1992
Date: November 25, 1992
Location: Richfield Coliseum, Richfield, Ohio
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Vince and Bobby run down the card. There are multiple gimmick matches tonight.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Nailz chokes Mooney and says that was misjustice.

Tatanka is chanting to get ready for his match with Martel, which is over some stolen feathers apparently. Welcome to the 1992 midcard people.

Razor, still in his original persona of Al Pacino from Scarface (funny story about that: Vince is known for not seeing almost any big time movies. When Ramon was interviewing with Vince for his job, Vince asked him to come up with a character on the spot. Ramon went into a Tony Montana imitation from the movie Scarface without knowing Vince had never seen the move. Vince immediately thought Ramon was a genius and signed him), makes generic threats. Flair was AWESOME here.

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Razor Ramon/Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect

Post match Flair puts Hennig in the Figure Four and Razor gets a chair, but Savage makes a save and chases both guys off.

Flair and Ramon rant in the back.

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Savage and Perfect brag a lot.

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Beverly Brothers/Money Inc

Rating: C. Not bad here but the ending kind of sucked. What was the point in having the Nasties beat Money Inc that fast when the majority of the match was about the Disasters vs. Money Inc? The Nasties were basically there to fill in a spot instead of being the focus of the match for their team. Odd indeed but it was entertaining enough.

We recap Kamala vs. Undertaker. Taker beat him at Summerslam so Kamala crushed him with a bunch of splashes, which Taker sat up from. This set up the Coffin Match tonight, which is a regular match but the winner gets to put the loser in a coffin.

Taker is building a special coffin.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Kamala immediately runs from Taker and they head to the floor for more not fighting. Back in and Kamala pounds away with almost no effect. Taker hits the yet to be named Old School and Kamala is in trouble again. A clothesline sets up some choking by the dead man but Kamala chops him to the floor. This is really dull so far. Kamala rams Taker head first into the steps and hits him in the back before we head inside. A kick to the chest puts Taker down for all of a second. Kamala slams him a bunch of times and three splashes. The urn is knocked into the ring and Taker sits up. An urn shot to the head pins Kamala.

Taker nails the coffin shut.

Bret is ready for Shawn. Gene lists off all of the micarders Bret has defended the title against with the idea being that Bret will fight anyone.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Bret blocks the tear drop (finisher) suplex but the second attempt connects for two. Bret uppercuts Shawn into the ropes but Hart misses a charge and crotches himself on the top. Shawn goes up to the middle rope but he jumps right into the Sharpshooter (in the EXACT same sequence that ended regulation of the Iron Man Match) for the submission to keep the title on Bret.

Post ending of the show, Bret asks Santa for better competition. Ok then.

Ratings Comparison

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Boss Man vs. Nailz

Original: D+

Redo: D

Tatanka vs. Rick Martel

Original: C-

Redo: D

Randy Savage/Mr. Perfect vs. Razor Ramon/Ric Flair

Original: B

Redo: B-

Yokozuna vs. Virgil

Original: C
Redo: C-

Nasty Boys/Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc./Beverly Brothers

Original: D

Redo: C

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Original: C+

Redo: F

Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels:

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating:

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1992 (Original): Minus Survivor Series

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Summerslam Count-Up – 1992 (2020 Redo): Family Matters

Summerslam 1992
Date: August 31, 1992
Location: Wembley Stadium, London, England
Attendance: 80,355
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan

Most of the older editions are in need of an update so we’ll knock out this one. This is one of the biggest crowds in wrestling history and they’re in for a pretty major show. We have a double main event of Randy Savage defending the WWF Title against the Ultimate Warrior and the instant classic of Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog for the Intercontinental Title. Guess what’s headlining. Let’s get to it.

Nasty Boys/Mountie vs. Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers

This is a bonus dark match (at least on the American broadcast, though all three on the card aired on the European broadcasts). Jimmy Hart is in the villains’ corner. The fans get their chance to boo/cheer the various teams until the villains jump them from behind. This goes as well as you would expect and the ring is cleared in a hurry. Back in and the Nasty Boys are whipped into each other in the corner, followed by some double clotheslines for a bonus.

Sags beats on Butch for a bit before everything breaks down again. The villains finally get in a cheap shot to take over on Luke and a double boot to the ribs puts him down again. The chinlock goes on and it’s back to Mountie for more stomping. Sags grabs a reverse chinlock, which draws a USA chant as the British fans cheer for a New Zealander.

There’s a knee drop as Heenan goes over the specifics for the WWF rule book (I’d pay money to see that). Luke gets a boot up to knock Sags out of the air though and it’s the hot tag to Duggan to clean house. Everything breaks down and Sags elbows Mountie by mistake, allowing Duggan to get the pin at 12:34.

Rating: C. This is a good example of a case where you need to consider the spot. They weren’t going for anything important here and it wasn’t a match with any story. You had three popular wrestlers facing three villains in an easy match. The fans liked it though and that’s entirely what they were shooting for here. It would have made a fine house show opener and it worked perfectly well here.

Papa Shango vs. El Matador

Another bonus match. Shango jumps him from behind and we’re starting in a hurry. A running crossbody connects in the corner but another charge misses, allowing Matador to hit a clothesline. They head outside with Shango getting posted as Heenan thinks Matador should just give up now.

A top rope clothesline gives Matador two and there’s the flying forearm. Matador’s sleeper is broken up in a hurry and it’s time to choke in the corner. Shango drops an elbow and hits a side slam, only to miss a middle rope elbow. Another flying forearm gives Matador two but he misses a charge into the corner. The shoulder breaker finishes Matador at 6:12.

Rating: C-. Another perfectly watchable match and that’s fine for the spot they were in. Matador was always good for something like this and he could make an up and coming villain like Shango look good. It wasn’t a good match or anything, but they kept it quick and Shango didn’t quite squash him, so it worked out well enough.

Brought to you by ICO PRO. I hope they kept the receipt.

The British fans are VERY happy to have Summerslam here. This includes a kid who says that British Bulldog is going to win, whether he wants to or not. Kid sounds like he has mob connections.

Bobby Heenan has a crown. My day is complete.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

Money Inc. has Jimmy Hart in their corner but the LOD comes out on their motorcycles in a pretty famous entrance. Now granted that might be because Paul Ellering is with them and he has Rocco the Dummy on the front of his bike. In one of my favorite lines ever, Vince says that the Legion of Doom are known for their psychology in the ring. The jet lag must have gotten to him. DiBiase in white trunks still feels wrong but it isn’t as evil as I remember.

Hawk threatens him to the floor to start and then clotheslines him outside again, this time for another clothesline from Animal. It’s off to Animal for a powerslam and Hawk comes back in with a top rope shot to the arm. Now the fact that Hawk looks like he’s somewhere around Saturn makes that one a little more impressive than it sounds. IRS grabs a sleeper on Hawk but it’s broken up with a drive into the corner. The top rope clothesline misses though and Hawk falls all the way out to the floor. That’s quite the flying leap.

DiBiase comes in for a few shots and it’s already back to IRS for two off an elbow. The chinlock goes on and the villains make some changes without tags (they really should be setting a better example for the foreign fans). Back up and a double clothesline puts both of them down but IRS comes in to choke with the tag rope in the corner. Hawk powers over to the corner but the referee misses the tag (that nitwit).

As tends to be the case, the hot tag goes through a few seconds later and it’s Animal coming in to clean house. It’s a bunch of shoulders and clotheslines as everything breaks down. IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device so Animal goes with a powerslam to finish DiBiase (it wouldn’t surprise me if that was due to being scared of Hawk coming off the top) at 12:00.

Rating: C-. The crowd helped but you could tell that there was something off with the LOD. That being said, it isn’t exactly surprising that Hawk stayed in England and more or less ended the team for the time being. Hawk was a time bomb for a good while and as bad as things went, it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

Ric Flair isn’t happy that he isn’t getting his rematch for the WWF Title because he should be in the ring in the bright lights of London, England. Gene wants to know where Mr. Perfect, Flair’s crony, is, especially with the rumors of Perfect being in the corner of either Randy Savage or the Ultimate Warrior. Flair says Perfect is in the dressing room. Gene: “Whose dressing room???” Flair: “The dressing room of the winner. WOO!” I’ve always liked that one.

Virgil is ready to fight Nailz to avenge his buddy the Big Boss Man. If Virgil is your the best friend you have, getting beaten half to death with a nightstick doesn’t sound too bad.

Nailz vs. Virgil

Nailz gets a jobber entrance for some reason. Probably protecting Virgil’s star power. Nailz takes him into the corner to start and chokes a bit until Virgil hits a dropkick. That doesn’t even put Nailz down (Heenan: “He’s tough as nails!”) and it’s time for more choking. Virgil is sent outside and rammed into the apron. Back in and the standing choke finishes Virgil at 3:19.

Rating: D. This made Summerslam? It felt like something that would be a featured match on Wrestling Challenge at best and that’s hardly the kind of thing that you need to see on one of the biggest (if not the biggest) show of the year. Nothing to see here as Nailz didn’t exactly have the longest shelf life in the world.

Post match Nailz beats Virgil up even more.

Lord Alfred Hayes can’t get into Randy Savage’s dressing room but thinks Mr. Perfect is in there. He’ll keep being annoying until he finds something out.

Sherri doesn’t like the idea of Shawn Michaels and Rick Martel fighting, even though Shawn cost Martel an Intercontinental Title shot. Sherri has been with Shawn for a good while now but has been flirting with Martel. Tonight neither of them are allowed to hit each other in the face, because they’re both too handsome you see. She’ll be standing by her man, which seems to be Shawn as he calls her to go to the ring.

Rick Martel vs. Shawn Michaels

Martel is in tennis gear because it’s what models do. Sherri is with Michaels and brings out a full length mirror as Vince can’t get over the no hitting in the face thing. Vince: “This isn’t the sixth grade!” Indeed. Hitting in the face is a fourth grade thing. Vince also panics over Sherri’s outfit, which is uh, kind of incomplete in certain areas. Sherri takes some extra time disrobing Shawn because….I’m not sure really.

Feeling out process to start with Shawn trying a monkey flip, allowing Martel to cartwheel into some jumping jacks. A dropkick to the face has Sherri nervous but Martel jumps Shawn from behind. The fans seem to be behind Martel, which is rather strange to see. Martel misses a crossbody out of the corner though and the fans calm down a bit. Back up and Martel teases a right hand but stops himself and throws Shawn over the top instead. Martel takes him back inside for a backdrop and more jumping jacks but Shawn reverses an O’Connor roll for two.

After both guys pull their gear back up (with Vince and Bobby making the usual jokes), it’s Shawn getting a knee up to stop a charge in the corner. Now they trade rollups again and it’s time to get serious. They slap each other in the face, drawing Sherri to the apron for a lot of screaming….and some fainting. Shawn goes to check on her and Sherri falls out to the floor, where Martel knocks Shawn away. He gives her CPR but Shawn starts the fist fight for the double countout at 8:09, which draws Sherri back to life.

Rating: C. This was a lot different than most matches you’ll see and it worked out pretty well. It was certainly a unique way to go and given who was in there, it is hardly a surprise that they had a decent match. The Sherri stuff was interesting, though given that Shawn was supposed to headline the show, it is a bit of a downgrade.

Post match Sherri faints again so Shawn comes back to carry her away. Martel breaks that up as well, and Sherri falls down in a heap. Shawn jumps Martel again and Sherri crashes again, allowing Shawn to get her….most of the way back, until Martel finds a bucket of water and throws it on Sherri, who storms off on her own.

The Nasty Boys laugh at what happened to Sherri but are more interested in watching Savage and Warrior destroy each other. Now where is their title shot? Jimmy Hart sounds rather nervous about that question.

Tag Team Titles: Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

The Brothers are challenging and have the Genius in their corner. They jump the massive champs to start and are quickly sent into each other for a quick crash. We settle down to Typhoon missing a legdrop on Blake as everything breaks down again. Earthquake splashes typhoon in the corner by mistake, but Typhoon launches Beau to the floor on a kickout. After finding out that SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT WEMBLEY STADIUM, the Beverly Blast keeps Typhoon in trouble.

A headbutt gets two as it’s strange to see someone this big taking a longer form beating. Typhoon drives over for the tag but of course the referee doesn’t see it. How do referees not get fired more often for being so inept? Typhoon gets in a double clothesline but Beau distracts Earthquake, allowing Blake to get in a shot with the metal scroll. Since Earthquake is about 28% smarter than anyone in the match, he decks Blake before the cover, allowing the hot tag to Typhoon. A belly to belly suplex plants Beau and a double shoulder puts the Brothers down. The powerslam sets up the Earthquake to retain at 10:25.

Rating: D. This was as good as the Natural Disasters vs. the Beverly Brothers for ten minutes was going to be. The Brothers were just such worthless goofs and no one bought them as a threat to the champs. The Disasters on the other hand actually felt like a team who could destroy almost anyone and it was going to take more than a couple of goofs like these two to beat them.

The Bushwhackers don’t know anything about a dentist selling them a London Bridge, but they are going to a meal at Buckingham Palace. Royal sardines are on the menu and they might get to sit on the throne. These two are just goofy fun, even though they outlived their usefulness.

Hayes thinks Perfect is in Ultimate Warrior’s dressing room but still can’t get in.

Crush vs. Repo Man

This was when Crush was on the verge of becoming the company’s breakout star but it never quite got there. Or anywhere close for that matter. Repo jumps him from behind to start but gets gorilla pressed without much effort. A backbreaker puts Repo on the floor and then Crush adds a one handed backbreaker just to show off.

As commentary talks about the WWF Title match coming up next (and nearly apologizing for making us wait so long), Crush misses a top rope knee. A faceplant gives Repo two but the kickout puts Repo on the floor. Back in and Repo dives into a powerslam, setting up the head vice for the win at 4:03.

Rating: D+. Another fast match that feels like a way to extend the show longer than it needs to be. That’s what happens when you have a two match card, but Crush was a popular guy at this point and it makes sense to feature him on a show like this. Repo Man was always good for a job and it was a quick enough squash that it wasn’t exactly worthless.

Gene throws us to a package on Savage vs. Warrior. The match was signed with Savage summing up the issue rather well: “I’M THE WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION AND YOU’RE NOT!” Then Ric Flair and Mr. Perfect made it clear that they weren’t happy with Flair not being in the title match and teased that they were working with both of them. The mind games were on hard and the question was who be joining forces with Perfect and Flair here. That’s quite the intriguing question, and a good way to go for something like this.

Heenan insists that he doesn’t know who sold out but Vince doesn’t believe him.

WWF Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Savage is defending and there is no sign of Flair and/or Perfect. Warrior always looked really weird in that singlet. They go nose to nose to start and shove each other away as the fans are WAY into this. Warrior shoves him down without much effort but Savage is back with a pair of clotheslines for one. Savage goes up top in a hurry but gets punched out of the air just as fast. A pair of delayed atomic drops have Savage in more trouble and a clothesline gets two.

Savage isn’t having that and punches him down, setting up a quickly broken sleeper. Warrior unloads with right hands in the corner and stomps Savage down, followed by another hard clothesline. A pull of the tights sends Warrior into the buckle though and a clothesline puts Warrior on the floor. The fans don’t like that one but Savage doesn’t seem to mind.

Back in and a pair of top rope ax handles to Warrior’s head gets two but the third is pulled out of the air for a backbreaker. The hard whips into the corner set up a bearhug for all of two seconds. Savage gets two off a small package and a swinging neckbreaker gives him a breather. Savage’s back gives out on a suplex attempt and even Warrior is smart enough to know what to do here.

A suplex makes the back worse and gets another two as they’re a little more spent than they should be after less than thirteen minutes. Warrior misses a clothesline and gets low bridged to the floor, allowing Savage to hit a top rope ax handle. There’s a ram into the steps and another into the post but Savage can’t hit a piledriver back inside.

Cue Perfect and Flair as NOW things are going to get interesting. Warrior hits a slam to damage the back again, but the splash hits knees. There’s the required double clothesline and they’re both down again. Savage is up first and glares down at Perfect and Flair, allowing Warrior to lift him up for some choking. The ref gets bumped (SHOCKING!) and it’s Warrior going up for his own ax handle.

That’s good for a very delayed two and Warrior is annoyed at the count. Warrior getting annoyed at things isn’t exactly surprising. Savage hits a piledriver but has to get the referee off the floor. During the delay, which takes quite a bit of time, Perfect comes in and holds Warrior for an illegal object shot from Flair. Somehow Savage doesn’t see that and hits the elbow, but the referee is STILL groggy so the two is delayed again. Sweet goodness get tougher referees.

Warrior starts shaking the ropes and Heenan knows what that means for Savage. There’s the flying shoulder but Perfect distracts the referee, allowing Flair to hit Warrior in the back with a chair. Savage gets that something is up and doesn’t want it that way so he kicks at Perfect. He goes up anyway and then dives at Flair, who uses the chair to blast Savage’s knee, which is enough for the countout at 26:16.

Rating: B+. This was like an amazing setup to a joke but then they forgot the punchline at the end. Allegedly the original plan called for Warrior to turn but he wouldn’t go for it, which I can understand in a way. What we got was really good, though the ending was lacking just enough to pull things down. Flair and Perfect offered some great drama though, and that’s most of what they needed to do.

Post match Flair and Perfect stay on Savage’s knee, including the Figure Four. Warrior makes the save with the chair. Warrior helps Savage up and everything is cool. The knee injury would wind up costing Savage the title, with Flair winning it a few days later.

Perfect and Flair have a plan B and they’ll get the title back.

Undertaker vs. Kamala

Dr. Harvey Wippleman introduces Kamala, who also has Kim Cheer with him. The double manager thing is completely outclassed by Paul Bearer, who leads a hearse with Undertaker standing in the back to the ring. Not quite as awesome as some he would hit later, but good for early Undertaker. We get a little change of pace here as Undertaker chokes him into the corner to start and hits Old School (assuming it’s old less than two years into his run).

Another attempt is broken up thanks to a Wippleman distraction and Kamala clotheslines him to the floor, with undertaker landing on his feet. A ram into the steps doesn’t do much damage so it’s back inside for more chopping. Undertaker is fine enough for a chokeslam, but Kim Chee comes in with the pith helmet (get a chair dude) for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: D-. I’m thinking this got cut short on time or something because what in the world is the point of a big entrance like that for a three and a half minute match? Then again, was anyone buying Kamala as a major threat? Maybe back in 1986 but against Undertaker? It really was a weird time for Undertaker as he was one of the bigger stars around but there was no one for him to fight. That would wind up being the case for years until Mankind showed up in 1996 as a totally different kind of threat.

Post match Kamala hits a bunch of splashes, including one from the top. Undertaker sits up anyway. But yeah, Kamala was a total threat here.

British Bulldog is ready to fight for the title, even though he is worried about what the whole ordeal has done to his family. He hopes the families reunite after the match, but it’s a dream to be here with no pressure.

Bret Hart knows how to wrestle under pressure and wants Bulldog to look him in the face and say he doesn’t know him. Bulldog doesn’t seem to remember Bret introducing him to his sister. Maybe Bulldog’s dream will wind up being a nightmare.

A Scottish band called the Balboa Highlanders performs Scotland the Brave and here’s Roddy Piper to play with them in a surprise cameo. Heenan is disappointed with the lack of break dancing.

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Final bonus match and Berzerker has Mr. Fuji with him. They go with the test of strength to start and Tatanka shoves him over the top in a surprise power display. Back in and they chop it out until Berzerker misses a dropkick. Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner though and Berzerker grabs a World’s Strongest Slam.

They head outside with Tatanka being slammed on the floor and it’s back inside. Make that outside again as Tatanka clotheslines him over the top and hits his own slam on the floor. Serves the Minnesota viking (….hey) right. Back in and some chops set up a top rope chop into the Papoose To Go to finish Berzerker at 5:03.

Rating: D+. This was the weakest of the three bonus matches and I can see why it was cut from the pay per view. Granted they probably needed something for some breathing room between the show’s three big matches. These two were as stereotypical as you could get, but they weren’t out there long and the ending was clean so it’s hard to complain that much.

Sean Mooney talks to Diana Smith at ringside and she sounds as emotional as….I’ve heard more intense grilled cheese orders. She wants everything to work out but she’s on the front line with both her brother and husband.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. British Bulldog

Bret is defending and you might have heard of this one before. Bulldog has British boxing champion Lennox Lewis carrying the flag to the ring. Bret gets quite the reaction as well but I think you know who the face is here. The bell rings and after the handing out of the sunglasses, we’re ready to go. They go nose to nose to start and Bret shoves him away, so Bulldog shoves him a little bit harder. A hard shoulder puts Bret on the floor and it’s time to rethink things a bit.

Back in and Bret headlock takeovers him down before hitting an uppercut (Heenan: “Right in the old fish and chips.”). Bulldog reverses an armbar into one of his own and then catapults Bret face first into the corner. A lifting armbar doesn’t quite work so it’s a crucifix for two on Hart instead. We’re right back to the armbar as Heenan does his old “the crowd is so loud I can’t hear commentary” deal.

Back up and Bret knees him in the ribs, much to the fans’ disapproval. The chinlock doesn’t last long either so Bret hits a backbreaker and grabs it again. That’s broken up and Bulldog hits a monkey flip, only to charge into a boot in the corner. The bulldog hits the Bulldog and Bret goes up, earning himself a slam back down (How do you make that mistake on a show with Flair?). Bret sends him outside and hits a slingshot dive, landing on a completely unprepared Bulldog, nearly breaking his back in the process.

The Russian legsweep gives Bret two and he hammers away with right hands. We’re back to the chinlock (with Bret’s back to the camera, showing he doesn’t understand wrestling), followed by the snap suplex and another chinlock. Bulldog grabs a quick backslide for two in the hope spot but Bret is right back with the middle rope elbow. We’re back to the chinlock, which is switched into a sleeper to put Bulldog in even more trouble. Bulldog grabs the rope and Bret grabs the sleeper again as things go right back down.

That’s broken up and they slug it out, with Bulldog trying a gorilla press and dropping Bret HARD onto the ropes for a scary crash. Three clotheslines give Bulldog two and it’s a gorilla press into the delayed suplex for the same. Bret is back with a German suplex for the same, as Bobby insists that Ric Flair could kick out of all of this of course.

Bulldog crotches him on top and hits a top rope superplex (without much elevation, which isn’t a good thing) for the next near fall. There’s a double clothesline and they’re both down, but Bret ties the legs together into the Sharpshooter (always cool). The rope is grabbed so Bret tries a sunset flip, only to have Bulldog sit down on it for the pin, the title, and one of the all time loud roars at 25:14.

Rating: A+. Yeah what else is there to say here? It’s a masterpiece, and mainly because of Hart. Bulldog was infamously out of it throughout the match and had to be told what to do every step of the way. It is an amazing match and probably Bret’s all time performance, which is probably why he was WWF Champion before the end of the year. Great stuff here and I’m sure you know that already.

Post match Bret isn’t happy but eventually shakes his hand. Diana comes in to join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s a lot of bad on the show but the bad matches are mostly short and the two great ones are both rather long. Those are more than enough to carry the show and the huge atmosphere are more than enough to carry to a high level. It’s an excellent show and easily the biggest Summerslam ever. Now go back to England again for another big pay per view already. It’s not like it’s hard to make it work these days.

Ratings Comparison

Jim Duggan/Bushwhackers vs. Mountie/Nasty Boys

Original: B

2013 Redo: C+

2020 Redo: C

Papa Shango vs. Tito Santana

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: C-

Tatanka vs. Berzerker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Money Inc.

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C-

2020 Redo: C-

Nailz vs. Virgil

Original: C

2013 Redo: F

2020 Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Rick Martel

Original: B

2013 Redo: D+

2020 Redo: C

Beverly Brothers vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D

Repo Man vs. Crush

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D+

Ultimate Warrior vs. Randy Savage

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B+

Kamala vs. Undertaker

Original: C

2013 Redo: D

2020 Redo: D-

British Bulldog vs. Bret Hart

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A+

2020 Redo: A+

Overall Rating

Original: A+

2013 Redo: B+

2020 Redo: B

Close enough.

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Summerslam Count-Up – 1991 (2013 Redo): It’s His Time

Summerslam 1991
Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon

We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.

Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.

Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.

Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart

Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.

Bret celebrates with his parents.

The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.

Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.

Mountie vs. Big Boss Man

Mountie is dragged away by cops.

The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.

Savage is nervous for the wedding.

Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.

Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.

Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom

The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.

The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.

I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine

The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.

Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.

Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.

Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.

We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.

With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.

Ratings Comparison

British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory

Original: D

Redo: C+

Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect

Original: A+

Redo: A

Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers

Original: C-

Redo: D-

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Original: B

Redo: D+

Big Bossman vs. The Mountie

Original: D

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys

Original: D

Redo: D

Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine

Original: D+

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Original: D

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: C-

Dang this show ticked me off the first time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/07/25/history-of-summerslam-count-up-1991-a-wedding-that-goes-badly-what-a-new-concept/

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Wrestlemania Count-Up – Wrestlemania VIII (2018 Redo): Big Enough For Two

Wrestlemania VIII
Date: April 5, 1992
Location: Hoosier Dome, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 62,167
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

This was one of the names mentioned for a possible redo so I’ll throw it in as a bonus. On his podcast, Bruce Prichard mentioned this as one of the worst Wrestlemanias ever and I’m really not sure why. The show features a double main event with Ric Flair defending the WWF World Title against Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan’s possible retirement match against Sid Justice. Let’s get to it.

Vince McMahon gives us the big over the top introduction as only he can do. It only talks about the double main event but really, nothing else is worth talking about.

Gorilla and Bobby (with a VERY visible section of empty seats between their heads, which will be a recurring problem tonight) intro the show with Heenan looking for the pictures. Those would be promised “centerfolds” of Elizabeth, which Ric Flair has promised. More on this later.

Reba McIntyre singes the Star Spangled Banner. It’s odd to hear anything but America the Beautiful.

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Tito is a bullfighter (it didn’t work then either) and Heenan says he’s McIntyre’s sister. Heenan: “That’s arriba McIntyre!” Shawn has Sherri with him and we get a cool shot from behind with Shawn looking up at the huge stadium. This is his first singles Wrestlemania so it’s quite the big moment for his career. Heenan thinks Shawn is a future Intercontinental Champion. He’s a few months early but he certainly can call things.

We get a long stretch of Sherri leaving and some trash talk before we actually do anything because stalling is a thing on stadium shows too. They start fast (once they start that is) with Tito getting two off a crossbody and headlocking him to the mat. Shawn gets sent outside in a heap and that means it’s time for the over the top selling. We hit the headlock again and MY GOODNESS there are some half empty sections very visible in the upper deck. If that happened today, the production staff would all be fired.

Tito pops him in the jaw and Sherri is panicking at the thought of Shawn’s face being damaged. It’s back to the headlock and Shawn can’t even throw him off with a lift into the air. Heenan swears that he’s won a match with a headlock and that someone even gave up during instructions.

Back up and Shawn finally throws him over the top for a huge crash to take over. A backbreaker keeps Tito in trouble as Sherri is taking her glove off for some reason. We hit the chinlock and even more of those empty sections are shown. There’s almost no angle you can show here that doesn’t display them and it’s really distracting. Tito fights up but charges into the superkick (not yet a finisher) and Heenan declares no more tacos tonight.

The Teardrop Suplex is broken up and Tito scores with his flying forearm (Heenan: “That’s the Flying Jalapeno!”) to send Shawn outside. Back in and Tito slugs away, allowing Shawn to do the overblown Wrestlemania selling for the first time. El Paso Del Muerte (jumping forearm to the back) sends Shawn to the floor and Tito tries a suplex, only to have Shawn grab the rope and fall on top for the pin at 10:38.

Rating: B-. Good opener here as Tito is one of those guys who is always good for a solid performance. Shawn’s star was clearly on the rise here (give someone Sherri if you need them to get a rocket attached to their back) and a win in a competitive match was a good start. Solid match here and that’s all it needed to be.

Gene Okerlund is on the platform and brings out the Legion of Doom for an interview, including manager Paul Ellering. Paul talks about the need to put the team together in the first place and now revenge has brought them back together. He’s not here to get rich but to get even. Animal talks about facing and defeating adversity and now it’s time to get revenge on everyone, including Jimmy Hart and Money Inc.

Hawk says they’re a runaway train and now, look who’s driving the train. Paul wraps it up by saying they’re going to earn their money the old fashioned way: beating people for it. They want the titles back and don’t care who they have to beat to get them back. Ellering was good for the team in the NWA but I have no idea why he was needed here. Or why he’s somehow back in WWE twenty six years later.

Jake Roberts isn’t bringing a snake back to the ring but he will recap his feud with Undertaker. He’s gone full evil to go after Ultimate Warrior but since Warrior left the company, Undertaker turned face on Jake, setting up the match. Jake trapped Undertaker’s hand in the casket on the Funeral Parlor and laid Bearer out with a DDT, followed by a chair shot to Undertaker. Evil Jake was awesome but this was a bit of a different kind of animal.

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

I love that pulling himself up from the corner thing that Jake does. Diamond Dallas Page borrowed it from him and it’s not all that surprising. Jake slugs away to start and reality sets in very quickly. A running right hand puts Undertaker on the floor but Jake gets pulled outside as well. The beating is on and the fans are WAY into a fired up Undertaker.

Back in and Jake’s right hands still don’t have much effect so Bobby starts making Munsters references. Better than the Addams Family at least. Undertaker starts choking but Jake grabs a quick DDT and you can feel the fans react. Then Undertaker sits up and it’s very clear that this is something different. Another DDT drops Undertaker again but this time Jake goes after Bearer….as Undertaker gets up again. That means a Tombstone on the floor and Jake is DEAD for the pin at 6:41.

Rating: D. This was around the time where the Undertaker would start to be the kind of attraction that the company wanted him to be. It’s clear that there’s something very different about him and beating a big name like Roberts was a great way to push him towards that goal. I mean, beating Hogan less than six months ago did it even more so but still, awesome booking here. This was Jake’s last match with the company until 1996 as he was turned down for Pat Patterson’s job and left as a result.

Roddy Piper and Bret Hart are in the back with Roddy talking about growing up together when Bret was a bit dumb. Apparently Mrs. Hart would make them sandwiches but Bret finally cuts him off. They’re supposed to have a nice contest for the Intercontinental Title but Bret wants to be serious. That’s fine with Roddy and the match is on. Bret lost the title due to wrestling with a high fever and Piper won it almost immediately. This is Bret’s big rematch and one of the most intriguing matches on the show.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Piper is defending. The first minute is spent with Piper taking off his kilt and some instructions from the referee. Never let it be said that Wrestlemania doesn’t know how to waste time. Piper armdrags him down to start as Monsoon actually analyzes the match, which isn’t something you get from most other announcers. Heenan’s idea: waffle the other guy with a tire iron.

Piper tries some amateur wrestling and is quickly sent outside in a huff. Back in and Piper spits at Bret and Heenan wants an apology right now. Bret wins a battle of the wristlocks and Piper can’t chop his way to freedom. Monsoon says thirty countries are watching the show live, lists off three of them, and then stops for a good fifteen seconds of silence. A running dropkick drops Piper but Bret comes up holding his shoulder. Heenan sees right through it (Bobby: “WHAT A GREAT MOVE!”) and Roddy is REALLY not happy.

Bret comes back with a running crossbody and they fall out to the floor at the same time. Piper is up first and holds the ropes for Bret but naturally gets in a cheap shot to take over. Well you know he’s the most natural heel ever so it’s not exactly a surprise. A bulldog gives Piper two and Bret is busted open (which he lied about, claiming that it was a hardway cut to save his job) somewhere in there.

Bret is fine enough to get two off a sunset flip and Heenan is begging for some more violence. A slugout goes to Piper so Bret hits a running forearm to knock him outside. Back in and a double clothesline puts them both down with Piper’s head landing on Bret. Heenan wants a count but Monsoon accurately says all four shoulders are down so there can’t be a pin. So much for the Brain.

Bret is up first with the Five Moves of Doom but Piper blocks the Sharpshooter. The middle rope elbow hits a raised boot and Piper has an opening. The referee gets bumped though and Bret is sent face first into the steps. Piper grabs the bell but can’t bring himself to do it (Heenan: “GIVE IT TO ME! I’LL HIT HIM!”), instead grabbing a sleeper. Bret climbs the corner and flips backwards onto Piper for the pin and the title at 13:52.

Rating: A-. This is the match that you point at when you need to prove that Piper can put on a good match when he’s given the chance. Bret winning the title back here was all that this should have been and the classic made it an even better moment. That ending would be used several times over the years and is rather famous in its own right, which is rather fitting when it comes from a classic wrestler like Bret. Great match here and another example of how talented both of them really are.

They shake hands to make it clear that Piper is still on the good side.

Heenan sends us to Atlanta, Georgia and the home of future WBF Bodystars Champion Lex Luger. Lex is his usual smug self and praises Bobby while calling Gorilla fat. Luger takes off his shirt to reveal a muscle shirt and Heenan is WAY too excited. He has some milk to wrap this up with Monsoon not exactly being impressed. Monsoon: “You found someone even more conceited than you are!”

The Mountie, the Nasty Boys and Repo Man are excited for the eight man tag.

Sgt. Slaughter, Jim Duggan, Virgil and Big Boss Man are excited for the eight man tag. Remember that Slaughter was main eventing the show last year.

Comedian Ray Combs is guest ring announcer for said eight man tag and of course he has some jokes. Since we can’t survey who will be good or evil (yeah you can), he’s asked 100 people (the gimmick of his Family Feud game show) about some of the people in the match. The Mountie is dumb like the Three Stooges, Repo Man is ugly and looks like a girl and the Nasty Boys are only successful because they’re lucky. With that he’s chased off and we’re ready to go.

The Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan/Big Boss Man/Virgil

The good guys clean house with elbows and clotheslines as Heenan plugs some WWF names being on Family Feud. So there’s your cross promotion. Hang on though: SHAWN MICHAELS HAS LEFT THE BUILDING! Monsoon: “WHO CARES?” Well Shawn might. Anyway we settle down to Sags vs. Duggan with Jim firing off some clotheslines. I mean, as much fire as Duggan is going to have.

Slaughter comes in for some clotheslines of his own to Knobbs before dropping to his knees for an elbow to the ribs. What an odd visual. It’s off to Boss Man for a wind up uppercut but he misses a splash on Repo Man. Repo jumps onto Boss Man’s back, shouts ONE MORE TIME, and jumps right into a low blow.

Virgil, with a broken nose, comes in and gets taken down without much effort. Even Heenan is running out of ways to make fun of the people in this match because Virgil is such a joke in the first place. Sags hits a pumphandle slam but Boss Man comes in with a spinebuster as everything breaks down. Some heel miscommunication sees Sags hit Knobbs to give Virgil the pin at 6:28.

Rating: D. Wrestlemania was different back then, which might be the biggest understatement of the wrestling year. This was a house show match to pop the crowd but here it served as a way to let them cool down a bit after the title change. At least it served a purpose, but it feels so out of place on here.

Flair and his executive consultant Mr. Perfect look at the blown up picture of Liz (we can’t see it of course) with Flair swearing it’s real. Ric talks about the bright lights and the big city where Savage will try to reclaim the biggest trophy of them all. After Savage takes the beating of his life, Savage can look up and see the pictures just like everyone else. Then Liz has one more shot at Space Mountain. Perfect: “Can I come along with you this time champ?”

Savage won’t grant interviews.

Since the company doesn’t feel the need to explain the story, the idea here is Flair claimed to have been with Liz before she met Savage. As Savage is completely crazy most days and even worse when it comes to her, this sent him into the rage of all rages and set up the angle after the match was made, which is always odd. Anyway, Flair has promised to show some rather private pictures of Liz, which have only been referenced about a hundred times in the first hour and ten minutes of the show.

WWF World Title: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair

Flair is defending and wearing red, meaning he’s likely losing (Look it up. He almost never wins a big match when he’s wearing red.). Heenan instantly says that to be fair to Flair, you have to say that’s a great robe, giving Monsoon one of his best ever WILL YOU STOP’s. Savage jumps Flair in the aisle until Perfect drags him off the champ. Heenan sums things up very well: Savage wants to hurt Flair rather than win the title so things should be going fine for Flair (and Heenan, who was in full on Flair fanboy mode here).

Flair tries an atomic drop and gets his head taken off with a clothesline. A backdrop sends Savage to the floor with one of his trademark great bumps. Savage is already favoring his back so Flair stomps away as Heenan goes into one of the best, longest rants I’ve ever heard him give on Flair not losing. Flair gets two off a suplex (Heenan: “An eighty year old woman could have counted faster than Hebner!”) and the belly to back version is good for the same. A chop takes Savage right back down and Flair drops him back first onto the apron.

Another suplex gets another two as they’ve moved to a rather slow pace. Savage manages to get in a neckbreaker and Heenan needs a drink. The required slam off the top keeps Flair in trouble and Heenan is begging for Flair to do something. I know I’m talking about Heenan a lot in this match but he’s absolutely amazing here. The Flair Flip sends Ric to the top but he dives into a clothesline for two and Heenan….well I think you can figure this one out from here.

Savage sends him outside and hits an ax handle to drive Flair into the barricade. With Flair falling down, we get one of the most obvious blade jobs you’ll ever see (nearly getting him fired in the process). Back in and Savage hammers away with another ax handle getting two. The big elbow connects but Perfect pulls Savage out at two. Thank goodness that wasn’t a DQ or they might have burned the dome down.

Perfect gets dragged in and the referee gets bumped for a few seconds, allowing Perfect to throw Flair an object. That’s only good for two as well so Perfect nails Savage in the leg with a chair. Cue Liz with a host of suits (including Shane McMahon in one of his first on-screen appearances) trying to stop her. Flair goes into his usual leg work routine and the Figure Four goes on. Heenan: “SHOW ME THE PICTURES!”

Perfect grabs the hand so the referee kicks it away, allowing Savage to turn it over and break the hold. A small package gives Savage two (and a GREAT false near fall with the crowd gasping) but Flair goes back to the knee. Savage blocks a right hand though and a rollup (with trunks) gives Randy the title back at 17:58.

Rating: A. I got WAY into this match watching it back and was having a great time with everything. The crowd completely bought into Savage’s quest for revenge with the title just being a bonus prize. All the cheating was great stuff with Savage overcoming all odds, partially due to the inspiration from Liz. The match was even different from the usual stuff with Savage having long stretches of control, which you almost never see in a match like this. Really great stuff here and an underrated classic. If nothing else just listen to Heenan’s commentary.

Post match Heenan bails from the booth and Flair tries to kiss Liz. That earns him a bunch of slaps to the face as everything goes crazy. Perfect takes Savage down and Flair goes after the knee as all the suits are powerless to stop anything. Savage fights up and cleans house before finally being announced as the new champion.

Perfect claims a handful of trunks (accurate) and says that’s not how a macho man would act. Heenan comes in and says there’s nothing to worry about because it’s all on tape. Flair says tonight, a man is going to walk around Indianapolis claiming to be the real World’s Champion and to have the love of Liz. Perfect talks about Savage taking a shortcut, which Flair has NEVER done. Perfect: “Just like his old lady! A cheater!” Ric promises to get the title back and kiss Liz whenever he sees her.

Savage can barely walk and says this isn’t done. Today was just a piece of what Flair has coming to him because he hasn’t been beaten up properly. Flair has somehow made him even madder than he was so it doesn’t matter where it is, but Ric is getting the beating he deserves. Liz isn’t allowed to say if she’s been vindicated as Savage gives her the belt, saying it’s hers. Savage if Flairs though and this is just a piece. GREAT stuff here from Savage who can play the crazed man like few others (and I use the term “play” loosely).

We recap Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan. Hulk had been named #1 contender and Sid wasn’t happy. Therefore he turned on Hogan during a tag match and went on a major rampage, including destroying the Barber Shop set. That was enough to change Wrestlemania as Hogan wanted to fight Sid instead. Hogan has also teased that this might be his last match, which translates to “steroids are becoming a big issue and Hogan isn’t the cleanest looking guy in the world”.

Intermission keeps going with some members of Tatanka’s tribe dancing in the ring.

Rick Martel has some reservations about Tatanka because he’s still outside scalping tickets.

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Yes this is on Wrestlemania as it’s just a different time. Martel knees him in the ribs to start as Heenan issues a statement on it being a matter of time until they get the title back. He lists off all of his jobs in the Flair organization with Monsoon only responding with “YOU’RE A LIAR!” Heenan offers to put em up and Monsoon laughs it off.

Tatanka elbows his way out of trouble and sends Martel shoulder first into the post. A choke takedown drops Tatanka as we’re still waiting on the announcers to acknowledge the match going on. Martel sends him hard to the floor as Monsoon says “Ric Flair” is giving a wrestling lesson right now. Rick heads up but gets crotched, setting up the comeback and a crossbody to pin Martel at 4:31.

Rating: D. Just a filler match here and there’s nothing wrong with that. Today it would be a quick comedy match or something so it’s hard to argue with something being in this spot on the card. Martel feels out of place here, though there’s nothing wrong with having a solid hand like him on the roster. You’re going to get least a watchable match out of him and this did its job, albeit not in the most entertaining way.

Tag Team Champions Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase and IRS with new manager Jimmy Hart) is ready to take care of the Natural Disasters. Hart jumped from the Disasters to Money Inc. and has told them all of the Disasters’ secrets. It’s not a bad idea and it’s not like it’s hard to boo Money Inc.

The Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon) are ready for revenge and the titles.

Tag Team Titles: Money Inc. vs. Natural Disasters

Money Inc. is defending. IRS starts with Earthquake but bails in very short order as Heenan complains about all the noise here. Some hard shoves send DiBiase into the corner before the champs are rocked with some big clotheslines. After a meeting with Jimmy, it’s IRS getting his arm hammered by Earthquake.

Typhoon comes in for a hiptoss and it’s his turn to get tossed into the corner. Completely one sided so far as Gorilla keeps mocking Heenan over Flair’s loss. Typhoon finally misses a splash in the corner and it’s off to DiBiase. We get an awkward looking sequence where DiBiase doesn’t seem ready to low bridge Typhoon to the floor. No worries though as they do it again a few seconds later (erg) and this time Typhoon goes over.

A double clothesline (somehow to the back of the head as Typhoon can’t even run the ropes properly) sets up a front facelock as this is dying before my eyes. Back up and Typhoon gets in a clothesline for his own for the ice cold tag to Earthquake. Everything breaks down and DiBiase is clotheslined to the floor. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but IRS is pulled to the floor and it’s an intentional countout to retain the titles at 8:37.

Rating: F. WOW this was terrible and the fans clearly didn’t care. Can you blame them though? Not only was it boring but on top of that it was full of botches and had a house shoe level finish. Just horrible stuff here and in the running for worst Wrestlemania match ever. That’s some rather elite company and I have no idea why they thought this was a good idea.

Brutus Beefcake is here to support Hulk Hogan because Hulkamania will live forever.

Owen Hart vs. Skinner

Oh come on GET TO THE MAIN EVENT ALREADY! Skinner jumps him from behind to start and hits a quick shoulder breaker. The reverse DDT gets two on Owen but he skins the cat and grabs an O’Connor Roll to pin Skinner at 1:08. Absolute filler.

Sid cuts off Gene Okerlund, calling him a short, bald headed little oaf. He’s going to destroy Hulkamania once and for all. We go to a sitdown interview with Hogan where he says he’s just not sure if this is his final match or not. Vince, conducting the interview, shakes his hand and thanks him for everything. Sid promises to destroy every Hulkamaniac because he rules the world.

Sid Justice vs. Hulk Hogan

Sid has Harvey Whippleman in his corner. Hogan gets the big entrance and the fans are as into it as they’ve been in a good while but Sid jumps him from behind. In one of the most underrated Hogan sequences ever, he does a mini Hulk Up, punches Sid to the floor, and clotheslines him off the apron to send Sid outside. You can feel the power of Hulkamania and my goodness it works so freaking well all over again.

We settle down to Sid choking and hammering in the corner but Hulk is right back with more right hands. The fans are ALL OVER this and Sid bails to the floor for a minute. Back in and we hit the test of strength with Hogan going down. As the fans all reconsider their place in life, Hogan fights up but gets knocked into the corner. Hogan is in trouble again and gets sent to the floor for some shots to the back from Harvey’s medical bag.

Sid grabs a nerve hold and it looks like Hogan is taking a nap. Sid’s powerbomb sets up Hogan’s fish out of water selling and it’s time for the Hulk Up. Heenan: “THEY’RE BOTH NUTS!” The big boot and a slam (not exactly impressive on Sid) set up the legdrop….for two, as the scheduled run-in was mistimed (on purpose, as the company decided to make Hogan look bad in case it was his last match). Instead Harvey comes in for the DQ at 12:37.

Rating: D-. I know the wrestling is pretty terrible but my goodness some of those Hogan comebacks felt like the old days. The fans helped this one a lot and the opening was just too much to call this a failure. It felt like a house show match and that’s completely unacceptable for a Wrestlemania main event, but at least it had some great moments.

Post match Papa Shango (the scheduled run-in) comes out for the double beatdown but the Ultimate Warrior makes his return after about eight months away for the save. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is all over the place as it goes from very good to horrible all night long. The ending with Warrior returning is more than enough of a combination with the two great matches to make the show work though and really, some of the bad matches are short enough that they don’t mean much. It doesn’t mean much in the long term as this was a VERY weak time for the company, but better times were coming in the forms of Bret and Shawn. For one last hurrah for the old guard though, it worked as a fun show, albeit one that needed a very powerful fast forward button.

Ratings Comparison

Shawn Michaels vs. El Matador

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C

2018 Redo: B-

Jake Roberts vs. Undertaker

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C-

2018 Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper

Original: A

2013 Redo: B+

2018 Redo: A-

Mountie/Nasty Boys/Repo Man vs. Jim Duggan/Virgil/Sgt. Slaughter/Big Boss Man

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D

Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage

Original: A+

2013 Redo: A

2018 Redo: A

Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

Original: D

2013 Redo: D+

2018 Redo: D

Natural Disasters vs. Money Inc.

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D-

2018 Redo: F

Skinner vs. Owen Hart

Original: N/A

2013 Redo: N/A

2018 Redo: N/A

Hulk Hogan vs. Sid Justice

Original: D

2013 Redo: D

2018 Redo: D-

Overall Rating

Original: B-

2013 Redo: B-

2018 Redo: B-

Nothing really out of the norm there and I’ve liked the show every time.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/15/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-8-hogan-who-needs-the-bald-man/

And the 2013 Redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/17/wrestlemania-count-up-wrestlemania-viii-show-me-the-pictures/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.




Royal Rumble Count-Up – 1992 (2018 Redo): The Great One

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

I’m almost curious to look at this one again as I’ve seen it more times than I can count, but I’m wondering how well it really holds up. You always hear about 1992 being the gold standard for the match but it should be interesting to see where things go. It’s a really famous show and main event with the WWF World Title on the line in the Rumble. Let’s get to it.

We open with the roll call of the Rumble participants. I miss how simple this was: the show is all about the Rumble and nothing else.

The announcers intro the show with Heenan saying he’s banking on Flair. Gee you think?

Gorilla explains the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title over the weekend and getting to defend against Roddy Piper tonight.

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

This would be Jim Neidhart/Owen Hart vs. Tanaka/Kato. Owen (my goodness I forgot about how stupid the big pants looked) and Kato start with some arm cranking as Gorilla asks Heenan about Flair’s number. An armdrag takes Kato down and we hear about Marty Jannetty and Brian Knobbs being out of the Rumble due to Nikolai Volkoff and Haku. Heenan: “Now that’s funny.”

Owen takes Kato down with a hurricanrana for a big high spot of this era. Neidhart comes in to stay on the arm before it’s off to Tanaka, who gets thrown down with relative ease. A spinebuster sets up a middle rope elbow for two but Tanaka finally gets in a few shots in the corner. That just earns him a backdrop, which gives us a quick break from Gorilla recapping the Mountie winning the Intercontinental Title. Apparently Bret wrestled with a 104 degree temperature (not exactly) but Heenan says he’s wrestled with an 113 degree temperature so Bret had it easy.

Owen crossbodies both of them down at once and a spinwheel kick gets two on Kato. It’s actually time to go for the mask but Kato bails to the floor in a bit of a weird scene as you don’t see faces tear at a mask that often. Tanaka finally gets in a cheap shot from the apron and Fuji adds a shot to the throat with the cane so the villains can take over. Another Fuji distraction lets Tanaka choke on the ropes as Heenan starts in on being fair to Flair.

Owen reverses a whip into the corner but charges into a superkick to keep him in trouble. The chinlock goes on until Tanaka comes in for one of his own. A hard whip into the corner gets Owen out of trouble but Kato distracts the referee so the tag to Neidhart doesn’t count (it worked back then and it works today). Fuji’s cane shot (Heenan: “My monitor must be dirty because I didn’t see anything!”) gets two and Tanaka starts in on the arm.

Seems a bit late for that so Owen belly to belly suplexes him for his bad timing. Kato comes back in and works on the arm as well before Tanaka comes in for the jump over the back onto Owen’s back, ala the Beverly Brothers. Owen finally takes Tanaka down and makes the hot tag off to Neidhart for the house cleaning. A hard whip sets up a suicide dive on Kato, followed by a Rocket Launcher to finish Tanaka at 17:24.

Rating: C. The match was long, but that’s what it’s supposed to be on a show like this. They need to fill in a lot of the show as the whole thing is less than two hours and forty minutes with five matches. I miss the days when you can have these simple matches without any backstory that are perfectly watchable and feature people as talented as Owen going out there to carry things. Good enough opener and it didn’t feel long, which is always a plus.

We recap the “sick” Bret losing the Intercontinental Title to the Mountie, which translates to Bret was about to walk and take the title to WCW but Vince talked him into dropping the title just in time. Roddy Piper made a post match save, setting up the title match here.

Mountie wants to know why he’s not winning this match by forfeit because Piper doesn’t have the win/loss record to earn a title shot. He’ll treat Piper like he treated Bret.

Piper isn’t worried about Mountie taking his integrity because he doesn’t have it. Tonight, Piper is here to win two titles and he has to win the first one first. Mountie must be dreaming, and it’s probably been all wet too.

Intercontinental Title: The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Mountie, with Jimmy Hart in his corner, is defending and Piper charges at him with the kilt for some early blinding. The beatdown is on with Mountie being knocked outside and Piper following to hammer away even more. Some Hart interference allows Mountie to take over for all of three seconds before Piper slugs away back inside.

There’s the bulldog and Piper does the double poke in the eye. A missed dropkick gives Mountie a delayed two and he rams Piper face first into the buckle a few times. Mountie throws him to the floor but gets caught with a sunset flip for two. The comeback is on with a right hand and backdrop with Mountie not being able to do a thing. An atomic drop puts Mountie over the top but he skins the cat, only to be sent into Hart. The sleeper gives Piper the title (his first in the company) at 5:22.

Rating: D. The match was little more than an extended workout for Piper, who wasn’t going to have any trouble against a goof like the Mountie. This was more about a feel good moment and giving the fans something to cheer, which worked very well. Piper should have been WWF Champion back in the 80s so this is as much of a consolation prize as he’s getting.

Post match the fans give Piper a standing ovation, calm down a bit when he shocks Mountie with the electric stick, and then go nuts again when he’s announced as the new champion. Heck of a moment there and crazy long overdue.

Hulk Hogan says he won’t have any friends in the Rumble because it’s all about becoming WWF Champion again.

The Bushwhackers and Jamison (a comedy guy who wasn’t that funny) are ready for the Beverly Brothers (or Sisters are they’re called here) and the Genius.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Genius’ poem isn’t much here, just saying that Jamison isn’t a man. We spend over a minute on the Bushwhackers’ antics, including some head rubbing. We’ll make that two minutes as the Beverlies bail to the floor. They’re finally ready to go with Blake decking Luke from behind to take over, meaning Butch has to get into some early cheerleading. Some biting gets Luke out of trouble and double forearms allow for some marching around the ring.

Back in and Beau drops to a knee and offers a handshake as the gaga continues. Butch falls for this because he’s not that bright but still manages a bulldog as everything breaks down again. They just have no idea what to do here other than brawling do they? The Beverlies get sent outside again with Beau crawling underneath the ring….and let’s go to a wide shot to show the arena for the sake of something more interesting.

Both Beverlies fail at sneak attacks and get punched in the ribs before bailing AGAIN. A cheap shot finally lets Blake take over on Luke as we get down to something resembling a match. Some ax handles keep Luke down and a running headbutt to the back makes things even worse. Heenan goes into a weird tax rant about Jamison as the slow, uninteresting beatdown continues.

Beau gets rolled up for two to no reaction but we finally get to the point as Genius slaps Jamison down. Jamison: “HE HITTED ME!” I barely remember him from when I was a kid and looking back at him, he makes me want to pummel helpless woodland creatures. Luke finally avoids a charge and the hot tag brings in Butch to clean house. A running headbutt gets two but Blake trips Butch down so an elbow can get two. With Luke being sent outside, a top rope ax handle finishes Butch at 15:01. Yeah just a top rope ax handle. That’s how little this match meant.

Rating: F. I loved the Bushwhackers as a kid but egads this was torture. It wasn’t funny and just kept going between two nothing teams. This was more about the managers and I still have no idea why Jamison was supposed to be entertaining. Was it some weird Steve Urkel kind of thing where he’s a lovable nerd? Just awful here and I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Post match the Bushwhackers clean house again and Jamison gets to kick Genius in the shin. Still stupid, though Genius’ selling is always fun.

The Legion of Doom is ready for the Natural Disasters. Good timing then.

Tag Team Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

The Disasters are defending and have Jimmy Hart with them. Hawk goes straight at Typhoon to start and can’t do much with the big oaf. Everything breaks down until it’s off to Hawk vs. Earthquake for a battle of dropkicks straight out of the SNES Superstars of Wrestling (still good, though it’s as primitive as you can get for the time. Hawk’s isn’t bad while Earthquake’s is easily avoided, as a 6’4 468lb guy trying a dropkick is pretty easy to see.

Animal comes in and gets splashed by Earthquake, followed by the same thing from Typhoon. Since Typhoon isn’t very good though, he charges into a boot and gets clotheslined down. Hawk comes back in to try and work on the arm but gets caught in three straight backbreakers, plus a hard whip into the corner.

The bearhug (you knew that was coming) goes on with Hawk’s comeback being cut off in a hurry. Earthquake misses a splash in the corner and the hot tag brings in Animal, who has to backflip out of a belly to back suplex (going as well as you would guess). A double clothesline drops the Disasters and everything breaks down. The fight heads to the floor and Animal gets counted out at 9:25.

Rating: D. Not a good match by any means but it was a miracle after the previous mess. They had a story here with the champs not being used to being at a power disadvantage but that doesn’t mean it was an entertaining match. This was more of a styles clash than anything else, as Hawk and Animal weren’t able to do their big power moves and aren’t at their best trying to do other stuff. It could have been much worse though, like that disaster beforehand.

Post match the champs clean house with chairs.

Jimmy and the Disasters demand a rematch.

The announcers debate things for a bit with Monsoon not thinking much of Heenan’s complaints.

A very excited Roddy Piper says he has a dream for the Rumble and is keeping his eyes on the prize. The Intercontinental Title though is dedicated to his son Colt.

After looking at a clip of the legendary split with Marty Jannetty and the throw through the Barbershop window, Shawn Michaels says he was just saving Jannetty 29 other beatings (meaning Jannetty was going to beat himself). Tonight, Shawn is leaving with the WWF Title because he’s that awesome.

Ric Flair has drawn #3 in the Rumble but he’ll wrestle an hour if he has to, and that’s the bottom line. This is a Coliseum Video exclusive so the commentators don’t hear it, which explains why Heenan doesn’t know about this when the match starts.

Randy Savage loves the idea of this much competition. Oh and he wants to get his hands on Jake Roberts too.

Sid Justice, in that whisper of his, promises to win.

Repo Man says what’s everyone elses is his too, including the win.

British Bulldog won a battle royal in the Royal Albert Hall and this win is going to be even bigger.

Jake Roberts is ready for the Rumble and is going to leave just a little bit for Savage.

Ric Flair, with Mr. Perfect as the hype man, says today he’ll prove that he’s the REAL World’s Champion.

Paul Bearer says he and the Undertaker need 29 hearses and body bags. You could just throw them out of the ring you know.

Hulk Hogan promises to use the power of Hulkamania to win the Royal Rumble (it would be three in a row) because this is his cup of tea. Even if someone who calls themselves a friend stabs them in the back. Geez Hulk stop being so paranoid. Or stop being the kind of guy who everyone wants to stab in the back.

Jack Tunney gives a quick speech about how this is for the title. I’m not sure why this needed to happen but Tunney is still awesome.

WWF World Title: Royal Rumble

The title is vacant coming in and Heenan is instantly in his glory as the nervous manager for Flair. There are two minute intervals this year, which isn’t likely to mean much as we keep going. Also of note: on Superstars leading up to this, it was made clear that some of the bigger names (Hogan, Sid and Undertaker at least) were guaranteed to be in the final ten spots. As weird as that is, it’s nice to have an explanation for why things go so favorably for them. For some reason, this isn’t mentioned on the pay per view save for a very brief reference despite being public knowledge.

British Bulldog is #1 and Ted DiBiase is #2 as Heenan panics more and more each time. Bulldog hammers away to start but gets suplexed down for his efforts. That’s about it for DiBiase’s offense though as Bulldog clotheslines him out without much trouble. Flair is #3 and Heenan is beside himself while the other person beside him is thrilled, saying that Heenan can kiss it goodbye.

Bulldog hits a gorilla press and running shoulder as Flair is already begging off (as he should be). Jerry Sags is in at #4 and gets dropkicked out in short order, leaving Flair alone with Bulldog again. Heenan: “THIS ISN’T FAIR TO FLAIR!!!” Haku is in at #5 and pounds Bulldog down, until Flair goes after him for absolutely no logical reason. That means Haku beats Flair up but Bulldog gets rid of him, leaving us with the starters again.

Shawn Michaels is in at #6 and starts hammering away, followed by the (not yet important) superkick (which hits Flair in the hands) to put him down. Bulldog gets back up and throws Shawn over, meaning we get some skinning of the cat. The three way fight continues until Tito Santana is in at #7 with Heenan losing his mind (good thing he has two of them) at the talent in there.

Tito unloads on Flair with right hands and it’s a long beating until Barbarian is in at #8. Heenan: “He doesn’t like anybody! When I managed him he barely liked me!” Shawn gets a breather as the other four turn into a pretty weird tag match in another corner as I wonder how good a long Flair vs. Santana match could have been.

Texas Tornado is in at #9 and Flair goes right for him, possibly in flashbacks to Dallas (nearly ten years before, which is rather amazing when you think about it). Shawn gets slingshotted into the corner as Flair atomic drops Tornado out of the corner. Heenan thinks a crescent wrench would be a good idea here as things start to slow down.

Repo Man is in at #10, giving us Bulldog, Flair, Michaels, Santana, Barbarian, Tornado and Repo Man for a rather eclectic group. Tito hits a running crossbody on Barbarian for the “oh yeah this is a battle royal” spot. Barbarian and Flair double up on Tornado in the corner until Greg Valentine is in at #11 and goes after Flair for old times’ sake. We get to the expected slowdown period, which had to take place at some point.

Nikolai Volkoff is in at #12 as the ring is getting way too full. Valentine puts Flair in the Figure Four to freak Heenan out all over again as Repo Man eliminates Volkoff to clear things out a bit. Big Boss Man is in at #13 and starts those fast punches at everyone he can. Repo Man gets rid of Valentine but Boss Man tosses him as well, followed by Flair dumping Tornado and Bulldog as the ring clears out in a hurry.

Santana and Michaels eliminate each other as Hercules is in at #14. Boss Man gets rid of both him and Haku, leaving us with Boss Man vs. Flair as Heenan panics all over again. A running clothesline drops Flair but he low bridges Boss Man out and is left all alone. That means a Flair Flop for a breather until Roddy Piper is in at #15.

The rights and lefts start fast so Flair bails outside for a breather. Piper isn’t having that as he throws Flair back inside for more shots to the head. An atomic drop doesn’t get Flair out of trouble as Piper is right back with the poke to the eyes. Piper throws on an airplane spin to set up a sleeper as both the fans and Heenan are losing it over the beating. Jake Roberts is in at #16 and egads I’d love a three way feud between these guys for the promos alone.

The short clothesline to Flair looks to set up the DDT, which is enough to get the mega heel Jake cheered. Piper makes the save for some reason, causing Heenan to say that it’s a kilt instead of a skirt. The Figure Four goes on but Piper breaks it up. Heenan: “YOU NO GOOD SKIRT WEARING FREAK!” That gets me every time. Jim Duggan is in at #17 as the expected tag match breaks out.

IRS is in at #18 as the pace slows down again, which you knew was coming and isn’t a bad thing. Everyone punches at everyone else until Jimmy Snuka (looking very old as well as weird in tights) is in at #19 and goes after Flair. Heenan starts to calm down until Monsoon reminds him of everyone yet to come. The Undertaker is in at #20, giving us Flair, Piper, Roberts, Duggan, IRS, Snuka and Undertaker.

A single shot to the face gets rid of Snuka and Undertaker chokes Flair down in the corner. Duggan, ever the nitwit, comes over to go after Undertaker and gets kicked very low for his efforts (Heenan: “TWO POINTS!”). IRS and Undertaker team up (what a visual) to beat on Duggan and it’s Randy Savage at a full on sprint at #21, meaning Jake bails to the floor in a trademark smart move. Jake comes back in and gets kneed out by Savage, who follows him out with a top rope ax handle, eliminating himself in the process.

Savage actually goes back in because “he has to be propelled by someone else”, setting off years of continuity issues as people had eliminated themselves both before and after with no such issue. Heenan says Piper should be credited for winning the Intercontinental Title and still coming out to fight. It was a five minute match with Piper basically just warming up.

Flair hits Undertaker low (Heenan: “He just tried to lift the Undertaker!”) and it’s Berzerker in at #22. The brawling begins again with Undertaker choking Piper who chokes Flair as Monsoon talks about Flair surpassing forty five minutes. Not bad considering the match started less than forty four minutes ago (more on this later). Virgil is in at #23 because they would take anybody for this thing. People start ganging up on Undertaker in a smart move but he shrugs them off and tries to get rid of Flair.

Colonel Mustafa (Iron Sheik) is in at #24 as the ring is getting full again. Good thing a certain red and yellow guy is coming in any minute now. Rick Martel is in at #25 and a lot of choking and kicking ensues. Savage gets rid of Mustafa in short order, which is probably best for everyone. With that going nowhere, Hulk Hogan is in at #26 and it’s time to pick up the pace. He goes right after Undertaker and Flair before getting rid of Undertaker and Berzerker. Duggan and Virgil eliminate each other and Skinner is in at #27. Now that the ring is far less full, Martel and Flair can’t get rid of Piper.

Sgt Slaughter is in at #28 as Martel gets rid of Skinner. Flair is announced as the all time record holder for time in a single Rumble at 55 minutes, which is how long the match has lasted so far and not how long he’s been in the ring. Sid Justice is in at #29 but can’t get rid of IRS. Flair slugs away at Hogan before taking Sid down by the hair, only to have Sid nip up. The Warlord is in at #30, giving us a final field of Flair, Piper, IRS, Savage, Martel, Hogan, Slaughter, Justice and Warlord.

Flair and Hogan slug it out on the floor with Hogan suplexing him to freak Heenan out even more, if that’s possible. Sid gets rid of Slaughter and Piper gets rid of IRS as Flair chops Hogan with as much success as you would expect. Hogan and Sid clothesline Warlord out, which Monsoon calls a surprise. Sid dumps Piper and Martel at the same time and we’re down to Hogan, Sid, Savage and Flair for a heck of a final four.

Flair knees Savage out to get us down to three. Hogan picks Flair up but Sid dumps him, leaving Hogan grabbing at Sid’s arm for stealing his title. Since that’s as much of a jerk move as you can get, Hogan isn’t exactly well received and Flair dumps Sid out to win the title at 1:02:00. Heenan’s celebration is legendary as he shouts YES more than Daniel Bryan could ever hope to.

Rating: A-. It’s still a classic, though I’m not sure it’s the masterpiece that it’s made out to be. There are some possible winners, but Hogan, Flair and Sid are the only real options to win the whole thing. Some of the dead spots in the middle didn’t help things, though there are very few names who feel like they’re just there for the sake of filling in spots. The few who are don’t last long and that helps things a lot.

Now on the other hand, it’s considered this good for a reason. The fans are with this thing from beginning to end with Flair’s performance in particular stealing the show. He sells the exhaustion perfectly and the whole thing works very well when mixed with Heenan’s masterful performance on commentary. They told a great story with Flair overcoming the odds and winning completely clean while looking like the biggest villain in the world. This worked very well and, aside from Hogan being a huge jerk, it worked very close to perfection.

Post match Hogan still won’t shut up and shoves Sid with the fans booing this out of the building. Referees break it up as Hogan is just completely wrong here as he got eliminated clean and can’t handle not being the best.

Flair, Perfect and Heenan celebrate in the back with Flair saying this is the greatest moment in his life. This new title is the only one that makes you the best in the world and he told them all that it was going to be true. One big group WOO and some goodbyes from Gene Okerlund wrap things up.

Overall Rating: B. This is a show where the main event is all that matters and there’s nothing wrong with that. The previous four matches are of varying quality (that’s an understatement) but the opener is fine and the title change is a feel good moment. It’s no secret that this is all about the Rumble itself though and that’s been the case several other times. It’s a good show and the Rumble is great, which is all you need on a show like this.

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+
2013 Redo: B-
2018 Redo: C

The Mountie vs. Roddy Piper

Original: B
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F+
2013 Redo: T (The Worst Match In Royal Rumble History)
2018 Redo: F

Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

Original: D
2013 Redo: D
2018 Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A
2018 Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: B
2013 Redo: B
2018 Redo: B

It’s interesting that the main event and opener keep going down while the overall rating stays the same. Still a very good show though.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

And the 2013 Redo:

 

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