Smackdown
Date: June 11, 2015
Location: CajunDome, Lafayette, Louisiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips, Jerry Lawler

It’s the last show before we get to Money in the Bank, meaning it’s the last time we have to cram an entire pay per view build into two weeks for a very long time. The big story coming out of Monday is Ambrose using Instagram (just go with it) to warn Rollins that he was coming, only to lay Seth out again to end the show. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Ambrose, wearing a ton of Mardi Gras beads, coming through the crowd to open things up. He holds up the title and says let the good times roll because he’s been having a good time on Bourbon Street. Ambrose takes us through the Instagram pictures from Monday, thankfully pointing out that the ticket wasn’t real and that Reigns just saved him a seat. After a clip of the main event from Raw, Ambrose promises to drop Seth on his head with Dirty Deeds and take the World Title for real this Sunday.

Cue Rollins who says Ambrose is just like all the other scum in this arena: not in his league. Rollins wants the title back and Dean drops it right in the middle of the ring. The champ picks it up but realizes it’s just a replica because the title is somewhere between here and New Orleans. Dean: “It’s been a blurry few days. It still feels like Tuesday to me.” Kane comes out and brings up Mercury and Noble beating Rollins on Monday when he was all alone. Tonight he gets to be alone all over again against Dolph Ziggler. As usual, Ambrose and Rollins have a great promo when people just leave them alone.

Ryback vs. Miz

Non-title. Miz bails to the floor to take off the sunglasses and has his sunset flip attempt countered by having his head slammed into the mat. A ridiculous 26 seconds vertical suplex sends Miz outside again but he throws Ryback over the announcers’ table as we take a break. Back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a backpack Stunner. A powerslam gets two for the champ but Miz kicks him in the head to set up the Figure Four.

That goes nowhere (just like always because it’s a horrible move for Miz to use) as Ryback powers out, only to take a short DDT for two more. The threat of a Meat Hook sends Miz to the floor but Ryback runs him down out there just as easily. Back in and Shell Shock is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for two and Miz is stunned. Ever the genius, Miz tries a Meat Hook of his own but takes the real thing, setting up Shell Shock to give the champion the pin at 7:44.

Rating: C. This was fine for what it was and served the purpose of giving Ryback a nice win. Miz is settling into this midcard role as he loses his matches but is able to talk himself right back into being hated all over again due to pure delusion. Ryback vs. Big Show isn’t going to be anything great but at least the Shell Shock at the end will be good. Assuming of course WWE doesn’t feel the need to feed someone else to Big Show for reasons I’ll never fathom.

Post match here’s Big Show who says he doesn’t impress easily with over twenty years of experience (not quite as he debuted in October 1995). The Shell Shock was fine on Monday but this Sunday ends with one of these right hands. He’s holding up his left hand but close enough. Ryback says he’ll have the fans in his corner on Sunday so bring it right now, little man. As expected, Show turns him down.

Tough Enough finalists, including former OVW TV Champion Michael Hayes (not that Michael Hayes. This one only has one leg).

Jack Swagger vs. King Barrett

R-Truth is on commentary before his pre-show match with Barrett on Sunday and has decided that he should be King after beating Barrett recently. He also thinks he’s in the ladder match on Sunday. Barrett stomps Jack down in the corner to start as Truth puts on the robe. The distraction breaks up the Bullhammer and Jack nails a big clothesline on the floor followed by a Vader Bomb for two. The Patriot Lock is broken up and the Bullhammer gives Barrett the pin at 2:23.

Truth has disappeared.

More Tough Enough finalists.

We recap the Bellas’ Twin Magic from a few weeks back and Paige being sick of the whole thing.

Alicia Fox yells at Paige and there’s going to be a match later. I really wish WWE would mix up this kind of thing. We’re long past the suspension of disbelief that a package on the Divas would air then there just happened to be a camera on Paige when Fox came up to challenge her. All you need is to say this happened earlier in the day.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Lana, who says she and Dolph read books together and talk about things. Rusev comes in again and says don’t ruin this. Ziggler has been with a bunch of other women but Rusev has only been with her. Lana says it’s over and leaves so Rusev scares Cole away.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title and Seth is on his own. The champ takes it to the mat with a headlock but Ziggler counters into an armbar to send Seth to the ropes. Back to the headlock on Dolph for a bit before the threat of a superkick sends Rollins out to the floor. They’re still in first gear here as Rollins takes a breather. Back in and Dolph hammers away in the corner, only to get caught in an electric chair for two. The standard chinlock kills some time as the fans want Lana. Speak for yourselves. I don’t want her and Ziggler anywhere near each other.

Dolph fights up and a Cactus Clothesline puts both guys outside, where Rollins catapults him over the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Ziggler slugging away until Rollins drops him with a Sling Blade for two. Well at least it wasn’t another chinlock. Ziggler comes back with a backdrop to put Rollins on the floor, followed by the running DDT for two. The Buckle Bomb is countered into a rollup for two and the Fameasser gets the same. Dolph keeps speeding things up and goes to the top for a high cross body but Rollins rolls through and grabs the trunks for the pin at 13:53.

Rating: B-. Nice main event style match here with Rollins getting the kind of a win he should be getting. Ziggler doesn’t lose anything either and everyone comes out looking fine. It’s very nice to see them breaking from the same pattern that they’ve been having for months for Rollins as it was getting repetitive.

Remember the two times we’ve seen Tough Enough finalists already? Make it three.

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Paige takes her down to start and cranks on a reverse chinlock for a bit before Fox takes her down and puts on a chinlock. They aren’t exactly dishing out the creativity. At least Fox adds in some knees to the head to mix things up. A big boot to the face gets two on Paige but she snaps Fox’s throat across the ropes. This is her house, which makes me wonder how much a Diva makes since Paige must have 40 houses around the country. The PTO makes Fox tap at 4:46.

Rating: D. They did a good enough job of making Paige look good going into Sunday but I don’t buy her as having a chance at taking the title because All Hail the Bellas. It didn’t help that the match was nearly half chinlock. You really shouldn’t need two of those in a match that doesn’t last five minutes.

Long recap of Owens vs. Cena to set up the rematch on Sunday. The first match was great and I really hope Owens just walks out on the second because he has nothing to gain.

The Prime Time Players say they’re like butter because they’re on a roll. Whole wheat and gluten free that is. They incorporate the clap into the Millions of Dollars dance and even Renee joins in.

Final batch of Tough Enough finalists, including the Big O.

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Neville vs. Sheamus/Kane/Kofi Kingston

Those are quite the interesting teams. Reigns decks Kofi to start before Neville comes in and eats a right hand to the face. Neville flips over Sheamus and tags in Orton, because we haven’t seen Orton vs. Sheamus enough lately. The good guy keeps control for a bit until a Kane distraction lets Sheamus nail a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to take over. Back from a break with Orton fighting out of Sheamus’ chinlock.

The lukewarm tag brings in Neville to clean house with his variety of kicks but Kane breaks up the Red Arrow. Kane comes back in for some weak stomping and a big side slam for two as this isn’t exactly inspiring stuff so far. Kofi comes back in to fire the New Day up again with Woods declaring him the greatest of all time. A dropkick gets two and Woods says he’s getting annihilated right now. Sheamus gets two of his own off the Irish Curse and it’s off to the chinlock.

Neville avoids a charge into the post though and it’s a hot tag to Reigns, who runs Kofi over in a hurry. The New Day is easily dispatched but Kane counters a Superman Punch with a chokeslam, which earns Kane an RKO, followed by a Brogue Kick, followed by a dropkick from Neville, followed by Trouble in Paradise. Reigns is back up though and the Superman Punch connects to Kofi, only to have the New Day come in for the DQ at 13:25.

Rating: C-. This was boring. That’s the best word I can come up with for it. We were sitting around and waiting on the big parade of finishers to close things out and it eventually came and went. It’s not a terrible match or even bad but I never came close to being interested in what was going on.

Reigns takes a Midnight Hour and it’s ladder time. Cue Dolph with a ladder of his own but Neville climbs the ladder and dives onto everyone who was nice enough to brawl right beneath him. Neville pulls down the briefcase to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Totally average show here as they talked up the pay per view a bit but didn’t do much to make me care about what I was seeing. Money in the Bank is a show that sells itself with the big ladder match and it gets very difficult to build towards it as the singles matches and tags don’t change anything. As for the rest, it was just a standard Smackdown: watchable wrestling, nothing important, two hours gone.

Results

Ryback b. Miz – Shell Shock

King Barrett b. Jack Swagger – Bullhammer

Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollins rolled through a cross body and held Ziggler’s trunks

Paige b. Alicia Fox – PTO

Roman Reigns/Randy Orton/Neville b. Sheamus/Kane/Kofi Kingston via DQ when New Day interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: June 8, 2015
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank and the ladder match is set with all seven of its competitors. As announced on WWE.com, six of the participants will be in singles matches tonight, including a rematch from last week with Orton vs. Sheamus. Hopefully we get more solid mic work from Ambrose and Rollins as well. Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, on a completely unrelated note: thanks for everything Unc. I’ll always remember you.

Here’s Cena, with a broken nose, to open things up. Cena talks about some of the biggest events in WWE: Hogan vs. Rock, the Streak and the Money in the Bank ladder match. That’s uh, quite the collection. Those in the ladder match are fighting for an opportunity on the same night two people will be fighting in the same ring with one getting an opportunity of his own.

Kevin Owens thinks Cena’s time is up and his time is now but this Sunday Cena will be fighting for everyone that believes in him as well as those people who think he sucks. This Sunday he proves that he is still the face that runs this place because he is John Cena. Cue Owens who says that Cena is just proving his point. Cena is delusional if he thinks he’s winning on Sunday or if the fans are interested in seeing an open challenge for the US Title.

People have been watching Cena come out to open Raw for ten years now and some people must be sick of it. Instead, let’s have an NXT Title Open Challenge instead. Cena loves the idea and says he accepts. Owens says no because Cena is already facing him on Sunday so no match tonight. They accuse each other of being delusional and Cena issues his own Open Challenge and looks right at Owens as he says come get some.

Owens has another idea: whoever comes down the ramp next gets to pick which title they want to fight for. Cue Neville, who says he would love to fight John Cena…..one day. Owens is a prize fighter, but Neville knows what it takes to hold that prize. Therefore, Neville will take that NXT Title shot right now.

NXT Title: Kevin Owens vs. Neville

Owens is defending of course and John Cena is making a rare appearance on commentary. The champ goes right to the floor but Neville follows him out for some kicks to the ribs. Back in and a nice running hurricanrana sends Owens back to the floor for the big moonsault dive. They get back in again and Owens just slugs Neville down and hits a wicked Cannonball for two.

We hit the chinlock and Cena gets in a great line by saying no one talks about the minor league home run champion because they’d rather talk about Babe Ruth. A backsplash gets two for Kevin and a belly to back gets the same as Cena is coming off as one of the most polished commentators I’ve ever heard. Back with Neville countering an AA into a DDT to get a breather.

The big Asai moonsault barely grazes Kevin’s arm (it wasn’t clear who screwed up) so Neville has to settle for a middle rope dropkick for two. Back up and Owens ducks a kick and grabs the arm, lifting Neville up into something like a brainbuster onto the knee. Owens doesn’t use that one often but it looked great. Neville comes back with the delayed German but Owens crotches him to break up the Red Arrow. The Pop Up Powerbomb retains the title at 14:00.

Rating: B. This was as good as you would have expected and I’m looking forward to seeing Cena and Owens tear the house down again on Sunday. Owens plays a great power brawler and we’ve been lacking a good powerbomb for a long time now. Fun match here and it’s awesome to see the NXT guys getting their shot on the main roster.

Video on Rollins vs. Neville at Elimination Chamber and the resulting aftermath that set up Sunday’s ladder match.

WWE praises itself for having a half billion social media followers because that means they’re awesome and TOTALLY EQUAL TO EVERY OTHER MAJOR ENTERTAINMENT COMPANY EVER.

Rollins comes up to the Authority and implies they’re all in trouble on Sunday but Stephanie brings up what Rollins said last week about not needing the two of them. They’ll be there on Sunday but not at ringside. However, tonight Seth can pick his own opponent.

We recap Paige getting screwed by Twin Magic last week and her ensuing promo ripping into the Bellas dominating the Divas division for way too long. She’s promised to change the division forever.

Nikki Bella says Paige is projecting her frustration onto the twins and is sure the Bellas have never held anyone back. Maybe this is Paige’s house, but it’s the Bellas’ world.

Summer Rae vs. Nikki Bella

Non-title. A quick rollup gets two for Nikki but it’s time for some pushups. Summer comes back with a cobra clutch for a bit before Nikki fights up and hits the Rack Attack for the pin at 2:19.

We recap Reigns having to win three times last week to retain his Money in the Bank spot.

Here’s Reigns with something to say. He talks about hating that briefcase for so long because of who it was attached to. Now it doesn’t sound so bad though because he’s going to pull it down and cash in against Dean Ambrose some day down the line. Cue Kane who says he’s in the ladder match on Sunday to protect the Authority’s interests. Reigns offers Kane a chance to come in right now for a demonstration in breaking jaws but here’s Dolph Ziggler to interrupt.

Kane isn’t getting in the ring right now because the Authority hasn’t pulled his strings. After taking forever to call Kane a tool, Ziggler says he’s going to win on Sunday. Kane reminds Dolph about the dangers of certain tools and reminds him that everyone is in singles matches against each other tonight. Well minus Neville of course. This brings out R-Truth for some reason but a confused Kane tells him that he isn’t in the match. R-Truth: “Are you sure?” Kane: “Yeah.” Truth: “My bad.” And he’s gone.

Kane tries to continue but gets cut off by New Day. They promise that Kofi will pull the briefcase down using the power of positivity, making all of them Mr. Money in the Bank because NEW DAY ROCKS! This brings out Sheamus, who laughs at the idea of anyone else winning this Sunday. He’ll be one Brogue Kick away from becoming champion all over again. Kane finally gets to introduce Orton, who comes out as scheduled. This was basically just a way to remind us of who is in on Sunday.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Rematch from last week where Sheamus was disqualified. Orton quickly takes it to the floor for some shots tot he ribs before hitting the Stomp back inside. Sheamus bails outside again and is whipped hard into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and a neck snap across the top rope gives Sheamus control so he slaps on an armbar. Quite the power brawler indeed. Orton fights back but gets knocked to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus driving a knee into the ribs and slapping on a chinlock to slow things down again. Sheamus slowly walks around so Orton slugs away and hits the t-bone suplex. The elevated DDT connects but both guys miss finishers. Instead it’s a clothesline to send Sheamus outside, only to have Sheamus throw him over the table. Just like last week, Sheamus busts out a chair but eats a right hand to the ribs. Orton throws the chair at Sheamus’ ribs and that’s a DQ at 13:13.

Rating: C-. Bleh. I still cannot find a way to care about these two having a match. They’re two of my favorites but they’re just not a pairing I want to see. It didn’t help that the ending was the same thing they did last week to cap off doing almost the entire same match from last week. Was there no one else you could put in there? Like, Ziggler vs. Orton perhaps?

Post match Orton stomps Sheamus’ head on the steps (insert your own Curb Stomp joke here) and hits an RKO.

The Stooges annoy Rollins as they ask to be in his corner on Sunday. They’re huge morons and he doesn’t need them on Sunday, so Jamie says screw you. They’re Shield 2.0 with Mercury as an upgrade over Reigns and Noble being better than Ambrose. Rollins is a son of a gun and would be nothing without the Authority. That’s enough to earn the Stooges a match against the champ tonight. Jamie and Rollins slap each other and Mercury has to break it up before threatening Rollins for later.

Kane vs. Dolph Ziggler

Neither guy gets an entrance and it’s Ziggler starting fast, only to be uppercut out of the air. With Lana looking on we hit the chinlock to slow the match down again. Kane slugs him down in the corner as the crowd gets even quieter with every Kane right hand. A side slam gets two and we stop to look at Lana again. Kane boots Dolph’s head off for two and we take a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a bearhug and nailing a superkick to put both guys down. Lana applauds and here’s Rusev to distract her, causing Lana to fall off the ramp and hurt her ankle. The distraction lets Kane nail a chokeslam for the pin at 9:46.

Rating: D. I had forgotten how much I hated these singles matches leading up to a big multi-man match, even though it was driving me crazy just a few weeks back. It doesn’t help that it’s more of Rusev getting on my nerves with the whole broken man thing. At least he didn’t seem upset when he hurt Lana.

Lana gets her ankle checked and is prescribed ice.

It’s time for MizTV, starting with a clip of Ryback and Big Show getting into it last week. Naturally Ryback and Big Show are the guests tonight, starting with Ryback who interrupts Miz’s introduction. Miz lists off his resume and Ryback cuts him off again because he’s sick of hearing all these lines over and over again. They argue a bit until Big Show cuts them off as only he can.

Show talks about how he can take everything he wants anytime he wants so Ryback says come get this title. They stare each other down and Big Show yells at Miz, who jumps the giant. Miz is thrown down so Ryback Shell Shocks Show. Why they didn’t SAVE THAT FOR THE FREAKING MATCH is beyond me but then again Big Show and Kane are featured in big matches in 2015 so I shouldn’t be that surprised.

We recap the makings of the handicap match.

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan vs. Los Matadores

Rowan throws Diego around to start and brings in Harper to run over Fernando. Back to Rowan to knock Torito off the apron, meaning there’s no one for Fernando to tag. A 3D (The Way) ends Fernando at 2:15.

Harper gets a mic and says tick tock tick tock because the time to pay for your sins is coming. The judgment is waiting at your door. Rowan says it’s ok to be afraid because you should be.

Kane comes in to see Rollins and laughs about the Instagram photos Ambrose has been posting of himself with the title all around New Orleans. Yeah I’ve ignored these stupid things all night but they’re little more than WWE saying HEY! DID YOU KNOW WE HAVE A LOT OF FOLLOWES ON SOCIAL MEDIA??? BECAUSE WE TOTALLY DO! Kane threatens to cash in on Sunday and they bicker. Again.

More social media stats and another Ambrose picture. These are now being used to announce that Dean will be here tonight. Ignore that the ticket in the picture clearly says COMP.

Trailer for Ted 2.

Big E. vs. Titus O’Neil

Woods calls Big E. the Minister of Mass. E. gets a quick two off a belly to belly and hammers away at the bald head. An abdominal stretch lets Big E. slap Titus’ stomach for the NEW DAY ROCKS clap. Titus fights back with some chops in the corner and an old Pounce ala Monty Brown, only to have the partners get in a fight on the floor. That distraction lets Big E. hit the Big Ending for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. This show has drained me of any interest in any more mini versions of matches I’m going to see on Sunday. Also, nice job of having the challenger lose to make sure I buy into his team having a chance going into their title match on Sunday. It’s already not a great match in the first place and this didn’t help.

Roman Reigns vs. Kofi Kingston

Kofi’s wristlock doesn’t work very well and Reigns wristlocks him to the floor. The other New Day members offer a distraction to let Kofi take over but Reigns fights back again and sends Kofi outside one more time. The apron kick looks to set up Reigns’ big dive but he has to settle for a running clothesline off the steps to take out Woods. Kofi slides back in for a nice baseball slide and we take a break.

Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock so it’s right back to another chinlock. Kofi goes up for a nice top rope ax handle as Woods will not shut up (in a good way). Reigns makes his comeback with a bunch of clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. The SOS is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two more but he has to take out Woods and Big E. A rollup gets two for Kofi but he dives into the Superman Punch for the pin at 12:07.

Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would as Kofi is more than capable of making a match like this look good. Reigns fighting off the trio works fine as they’re not losing in a tag match so it’s no real loss. Fun match here, even though the ending wasn’t ever really in any doubt.

Reigns grabs a chair and Ambrose comes to sit down, carrying popcorn and a Pepsi.

Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury vs. Seth Rollins

Kane is out with the Stooges. Mercury spins out of a wristlock to start but Seth does the same thing and sends Joey into the mat. The Stooges take a breather on the floor but Kane offers a distraction to let them get in some double teaming. Ambrose pours popcorn on Seth’s head, allowing Joey to nail a nice dropkick for one, followed by an armdrag into an armbar. Seth throws him outside and laughs at Dean a bit before putting on a chinlock at 11:08pm.

Rollins misses a charge in the corner and the hot tag brings in Noble to clean house, completel with his little dance. The swinging neckbreaker gets two and the Stooges try the Rick Rude Wrestlemania V pin for a VERY close two, but Jamie eats a low superkick to change control again. Mercury gets buckle bombed into his partner and Seth loads up the Pedigree, only for Dean to get up and throw the title in. The distraction lets Joey get a rollup for the pin at 9:00. Yes, this match that started in the overrun got NINE MINUTES.

Rating: D+. Yeah the match was entertaining enough and I get the point but maybe they could have been done with this earlier if they hadn’t had to spend half an hour patting themselves on the back for their win. Not a bad match here but it just kept going when it could have been done in about half the time.

Dean hits Dirty Deeds to take the title back and climbs a ladder to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This show wasn’t great but unlike the disaster of two weeks ago, there isn’t one (or two) major problems bringing it down. Instead this was like death by 1000 stab wounds as so much of the show was about the stupid Instagram/social media stats and most of the people in Money in the Bank having singles matches that mean nothing. That’s the big problem with matches like these: there’s nothing important and you know the ladder match is down to at most two people. Cut the thing down and make it more interesting instead of having this big of a mess. Not a good show this week but it did have some fun parts.

Results

Kevin Owens b. Neville – Pop Up Powerbomb

Nikki Bella b. Summer Rae – Rack Attack

Sheamus b. Randy Orton via DQ when Orton threw a chair

Kane b. Dolph Ziggler – Chokeslam

Luke Harper/Erick Rowan b. Los Matadores – The Way to Fernando

Big E. b. Titus O’Neil – Big Ending

Roman Reigns b. Kofi Kingston – Superman Punch

Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury b. Seth Rollins – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: May 25, 2015
Location: Nassau Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s Memorial Day and also the last Raw before Elimination Chamber. The two Chamber matches are set and we also have the World Title match ready to go, leaving just the details to be added to the matches to make things fully ready. There’s also the issue of Owens powerbombing Cena last week and standing on his US Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with the traditional salute to the veterans who have passed away serving their country. In the arena, we have a moment of silence and a ten bell salute. WWE always does a great job with these things.

Here’s the Authority in full to open things up. After a look at the ending to last week’s show, Seth talks about Ambrose coercing the Authority into giving him a title at Elimination Chamber last week. That’s not how the Authority operates because it’s not best for business. Therefore, couldn’t the Authority just take away the title match or fire Ambrose right now? Well they could and they considered it, but Rollins asked them not to.

HHH has a contract ready for Ambrose to sign so here’s Dean to the stage. Dean thinks there might be something wrong with him because he’s been having trouble sleeping lately. He’s tried counting sheep but he would rather count the times he punches Rollins in the face. It’s the closest thing to happiness he can have and that’s what he got last week. He always enjoys beating Seth up, but next time he wants it to be for the World Title.

Once he becomes the new face of the WWE, there are going to be some changes. The Stooges can go barefoot like some respectable hobbits and Kane can just wear a collar like the lapdog that he is. That leaves Rollins to drunk dial Selena Gomez like the Justin Bieber that he is.

Rollins shrugs off the Justin Bieber chants by actually defending him, saying the fans all want to be Bieber, just like Ambrose wants to be like Seth. He talks about Ambrose being a loser all his life and asks him to sign so he can lose one more time. Really good back and forth segment here with the Authority just being in the background while it happened. Ambrose comes to the ring but here’s Reigns to have his back. Stephanie gets on the mic and says Dean can sign the contract until the end of the show, but until then, it’s Reigns/Ambrose vs. Rollins/Kane right now.

Seth Rollins/Kane vs. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns

Kane slugs Ambrose in the corner to start but Dean punches and chops up against the ropes. Off to Reigns who takes Kane down with a suplex before Rollins comes in to do the same to Ambrose. It’s quickly back to Reigns for a Samoan drop on Seth but he goes outside to chase the Stooges off, only to get caught in a chinlock back inside. A lukewarm tag brings in Ambrose for shots in the corner and a clothesline to put Seth outside, setting up the suicide dive. The good guys stand tall and we take a break.

Back with Rollins stopping a Dean comeback and getting some nice applause from the Stooges. A big time clothesline puts Rollins down and the hot tag brings in Reigns. Roman cleans house for a bit until a Kane boot puts him down. That earns him a Superman Punch and the top rope elbow from Dean for two with Rollins making the save. The springboard knee to the head gets two for Seth (that looked good) but an enziguri knocks Dean into the ropes, only to have him bounce back and grab a backslide to pin Rollins at 13:25.

Rating: C-. The wrestling was fine but it was really hard to care about this one. It’s almost the same match we’ve seen a dozen times with one or two pieces being changed without anything really changing. Ambrose getting the pin is the right idea for this match to set up Sunday, but these tag matches are almost impossible to get up for these days.

After a break, Ambrose says he’ll get the contract signed later in the night. The Stooges come up and say they have the contract but Mercury forgot it. Noble: “Well slap me upside my head and call me Sally!” Always the gentleman, Ambrose does just that and beats up the two of them before punching a cameraman by mistake. Dean looks upset by what he did to the innocent guy.

Video package on Kevin Owens’ career.

The cast of the movie Entourage arrives and don’t get much of a reaction.

Rusev vs. R-Truth

Rusev is officially Bulgarian again. Truth gets in a few shots but the Accolade wraps things up in 59 seconds.

Post match Rusev says he and Lana need to talk so please get down here. He stays in the ring waiting for her through a break asking her to come out and talk to him. Come on man. At least have a giant boom box. Lana finally comes out but won’t let Rusev hold the ropes open for her. Rusev knows she cares about him, even with all the mistakes she’s made and that he makes sure to list off.

It’s not her fault though. She’s a woman, and all women make mistakes. He talks about the dreams they had back in Bulgaria and asks her to take his hand….which she eventually does. Rusev wants to hear three magical words though: “I was wrong.” That’s too much for Lana though as she shoves his hand away and leaves, saying Rusev quit. Rusev: “YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR PLACE WOMAN!” Lana calls him a liar and a quitter. No one earns her, especially Rusev. She leaves yet again and here’s Ziggler for another kiss.

So yeah, remember the last year plus of Rusev being a monster who beat Cena by knockout at Fast Lane? Well screw all that because we need to put him in a stupid soap opera style story because EVERYONE is a character like that who needs to have depth and emotions and all that nonsense.

HHH and Rollins come into Ambrose’s locker room and have the cameraman say that Ambrose hit him, despite thinking someone pushed him. Dean is arrested (“Yeah I’ve heard this before.”) and HHH smiles.

Post break the Stooges laugh at Ambrose as he’s taken away.

King Barrett vs. Ryback

Ryback still has bad ribs coming in. Barrett is thrown around to start and planted with an early powerslam but he rolls outside. Ryback follows but takes a hard kick to the ribs to give the King control. Back in and some kicks to the ribs followed by a middle rope elbow get two. Wasteland gets the same as Barrett wisely stays on the ribs. The Bull Hammer takes too long to set up though, allowing Ryback to hit a spinebuster and the Shell Shock for the pin at 3:56.

Rating: D+. So Barrett just spent the entire match working on the ribs and then Ryback hit his power moves like he was perfectly fine. Nothing to see here other than yet ANOTHER Barrett loss, which just keep coming and coming and coming. This was another match designed to set up the Chamber but with no time to get there because we need more stupid soap opera nonsense.

The cast of Entourage comes in to see the Authority and name drop people cameoing in their movie. They bring up Rhonda Rousey making Stephanie scream at Wrestlemania and are politely asked to leave.

Tough Enough videos.

Stardust vs. Neville

Stephen Amell of Arrow is in the front row. Neville vs. Bo Dallas is official for Sunday. Stardust goes after the bad knee to start as the announcers talk about Stardust and Amell feuding on Twitter. As Stardust puts on a half crab, Bo Dallas slowly walks to the ring to cheer for Neville. Stardust can’t hit a superplex as Neville kicks him down and nails a tornado DDT, setting up the Red Arrow (after some slaps to the bad knee to wake it up again) for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C-. The match was nothing special, but this is the kind of match I like: a guy with a pay per view match having a bit of a sweat before beating a guy with a nice resume. We don’t get these nearly enough. It sets up the match on Sunday and keeps Neville from having to waste a big match. Good booking but not a great match.

Post match Dallas tells him to Bolieve and kicks the knee out again.

The Entourage guys hit on the Total Divas, creating a massive vortex of indifference. Zack Ryder comes up and asks them to come into his dressing room because he has an idea.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Sheamus

Cole incorrectly says the Intercontinental Title is the only title Sheamus has never held (Tag Team Titles being the other). Sheamus runs him over to start as the announcers talk about Lana and Rusev. We’re already in the chinlock with Sheamus talking a lot of trash at the same time. They head outside with Dolph ramming him into the announcers’ table, only to get kicked in the knee back inside.

A Cactus clothesline puts both guys on the floor but Sheamus powerslams him outside, drawing Lana to the stage to watch. Back from a break with Sheamus getting two off a neckbreaker but Ziggler fights up with a bunch of forearms. The Fameasser gets two and Ziggler escapes White Noise and ducks the Brogue Kick. Ziggler’s superkick gets two and here comes Rusev to the ring for a distraction, allowing Sheamus to hit the Brogue Kick for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: C. And we’re DONE with the Intercontinental Title preview matches. This is one of those ideas where WWE does one match and then just MUST do the exact same idea three times in one show with no one looking good coming out of it because none of this matters for Sunday. Decent match but my goodness this show has killed my interest.

Rusev puts on the Accolade to make Ziggler look at Lana. “KISS HIM NOW!”

It’s Open Challenge time. Fans: “JOHN CENA SUCKS!” Cena to the camera: “I guess the remix is still a popular song.” Cena says in the last ten years, the WWE Universe can be summed up in five words: “Let’s go Cena, Cena sucks.” He thanks the fans who believe in hustle, loyalty and respect but has to stop for a WE WANT RYDER chant. Those people have had his back for years and he thanks them from the bottom of his heart.

That brings him to the other group of fans, who have been begging for someone to get in this ring and knock him down. Name after name have tried to do just that but all of them have failed. Last week he met Kevin Owens, who broke the internet last week and then broke his best friend Sami Zayn in half.

Maybe that’s why the fans think Kevin Owens is the man that can put Cena down for good. This Sunday those fans that chant CENA SUCKS can instead chant FIGHT OWENS FIGHT. Owens can fight all he wants because it doesn’t mean WIN OWENS WIN. Last week Cena found out that Owens knows how to start a fight and this Sunday he’ll find out if Owens can finish one. That’s Sunday though, so let’s get to tonight. The Open Challenge starts right now.

Cena is ready and here’s the cast of Entourage. Cole: “Really?” Thankfully they’re just here to introduce the man taking the challenge.

US Title: John Cena vs. Zack Ryder

The Entourage cast is at ringside. Some early suplexes get two for Cena to start but Ryder comes back with the middle rope dropkick. Cena avoids the Broski Boot and starts his finishing sequence, only to have one of the Entourage guys get in for a distraction. A quick rollup gets two on Cena but Ryder counters the AA into a Killswitch for two. Now the Broski Boot gets two and the Rough Ryder gets the same. Zack goes up top but misses a 450 of all things, setting up the AA for the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, it would have been cool to see Ryder get the big win to close out the building but you can’t do something like that to Cena here. Ryder looked good here and hopefully gets some more TV time out of a good performance like this. The 450 wasn’t half bad either.

Cena, Ryder and the Entourage guys get to pose in the ring for a nice moment. Cena poses on his own but turns around for a Pop Up Powerbomb from Owens, now wearing a FIGHT OWENS FIGHT shirt. Owens stomps on the US Title again for good measure.

The Authority recaps the Ambrose incident.

Now the announcers recap the Ambrose incident.

Tamina vs. Paige

Bellas are on commentary. Tamina knocks her to the floor to start and slaps on a neck crank. A quick rollup gets two for Paige followed by her three clotheslines and a dropkick. Nikki gets in a quick cheap shot though and Tamina’s Samoan drop is good for the pin at 3:52.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness really? This is the best thing they can do? We’re six days before the Divas title match and the #1 contender just got pinned by the enforcer in less than four minutes. I know Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter or whatever, but that doesn’t make her the slightest bit interesting. Bad match here and even dumber booking.

Here’s the New Day to say it’s preposterous and ridiculous that they’re being persecuted for being positive. No one wants to see them lose their titles! Just ask the WWE Universe! Cue Kane to say that the Chamber is fair, but the following match isn’t quite the same.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players/Ascension vs. New Day

10-3 handicap match and joined in progress with……never mind as all ten come in for the big beatdown and the DQ at 49 seconds. Yes, the HEELS are in a big handicap match and were put there by a heel. I guess logic and the Curb Stomp can chill together on the banned list.

We get the big brawl with the Dragons diving on most of the other people at the same time. New Day stands tall, only to have Cesaro and Kidd come in and clean house.

Preview of the preview of the Daniel Bryan documentary airing on the Network tonight.

We get a second angle of Ambrose punching the camerman (from the WWE Youtube channel because of course it is) because Rollins shoved Ambrose into him. This really doesn’t change anything as Ambrose still turned around and punched him, but this show is a sitcom instead of a wrestling show.

Here’s the Authority for the big stupid ending to this stupid, stupid show. Yeah there’s a video, yeah there’s evidence saying Ambrose is innocent (he isn’t) but there’s no time. Therefore….cue Reigns before HHH can say it’s too late. The brawl is on, Reigns gets beaten down, Ambrose shows up in the police van and wearing police gear, and the big brawl allows Ambrose to sign just in time. CUE THAT LAUGH TRACK AND END THEME SONG!!!

Overall Rating: F. Yeah it failed. I was miserable watching this show as they took a huge leap backwards from all the good stuff they had been doing in the last few weeks. Instead of the fun matches and high energy, this was ALL about the backstage stuff and in ring segments with the Authority being on screen WAY too much. Look at some of the things they were doing out there and tell me they were segments we needed to see. The Entourage guys were on TV like four times and added nothing. They certainly weren’t bad, but have them out there once and stop showing them otherwise.

On top of that…..my goodness just make Rusev into the crying Zack Ryder when Eve left him. No it won’t be that bad, but my goodness man, what in the world is the point of this stupid love triangle story? What WWE doesn’t understand is there are some people who shouldn’t be like everybody else. Yeah Rusev is a human, but he needs to be treated like a monster. Let him just be the guy that got this far and stop trying to add dimensions to him. There are some people it’s ok to mess with, but Rusev isn’t that kind of character.

Then there’s the stupid contract signing deal, which comes off like a sitcom plot: it’s some wacky situation which JUST HAPPENS to work due to some master plan coming together, but it somehow manages to all unravel just as the show goes off the air with the Authority shouting that they’ll get you next time Ambrose, NEXT TIME!!!

I was livid sitting through this show as they just completely turned off the reality and made it into the biggest TV show schtick they could. That’s not even talking about the HORRIBLE booking choices of having three Intercontinental Title preview matches that went nowhere and barely set up the Chamber whatsoever. Horrible, horrible show here and wouldn’t you know it: it’s also the first show in a long time where Stephanie was a featured player. How about that.

Results

Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Seth Rollins/Kane – Backslide to Rollins

Rusev b. R-Truth – Accolade

Ryback b. King Barrett – Shell Shock

Neville b. Stardust – Red Arrow

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

John Cena b. Zack Ryder – Attitude Adjustment

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd/Los Matadores/Lucha Dragons/Ascension/Prime Time Players via DQ when all ten attacked New Day at the same time

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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We’re done with Payback and therefore it’s time to race towards the Elimination Chamber show because we must get it in before people have to start paying for the Network again. The big story here is Rollins retaining the World Title over his former Shield teammates and Orton in a good four way last night, but now everything is about getting to Elimination Chamber.

The Authority was back, complete with HHH’s slow talking and Stephanie dropping in every proper name that she could in a manner that no one uses in the real world. They don’t have much to say here (thank goodness) other than All Hail Rollins and that he’s getting a tribute later in the night.

This brought them to the Elimination Chamber, which led to interruptions from Ryback and Sheamus. Both of them are announced for the match but of course they’ll be fighting tonight too. The match was nothing out of the ordinary with Sheamus Brogue Kicking a distracted Ryback for the pin. I’m glad it’s only a two week build to the Chamber as you can only have the people in the match do these simple matches for so long before they lose their effectiveness. The match was fine and I like Sheamus winning, but I think Ryback’s push is in major trouble after back to back losses.

Kane was put in charge of the celebration tonight and didn’t seem to mind. Ambrose came in and asked for a title shot but was given a match against Bray Wyatt tonight. This was a great example of people being in the right place at the right time saying the right things to move the show forward, making it feel very unnatural.

Neville was being interviewed when Bo Dallas came out. This seems to be the next feud as Dallas isn’t cool with Neville bringing up their history in NXT. Dallas attacked Neville’s previously injured knee, allowing Barrett to take Neville down pretty easily. This wasn’t much of a match due to the time, but I’m getting worried about Neville doing the same things every time. He’s going to be over due to his high flying abilities for a long time, but some of that heat is going to wear off and he needs to have something to build himself back up. The knee injury and a feud with Dallas are a good start though and there’s no reason to panic.

Rusev yelled at Lana a lot and broke up with her. Later that night, Lana came out and kissed Ziggler. I’m not wild on pairing her with Ziggler, but I’m even less wild about how fast this turn started and wrapped up. One week she was Fandangoing and then she’s being dumped by Rusev? That’s because here in WWE, we have to get the next story set up before the pay per view because Heaven forbid we wait more than a few weeks to set something up.

Bray Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose in a match built around a ton of interference and cheating, which is the only way to have that result. This was the usual good brawl between these guys but did you really expect anything else?

Cesaro and Kidd failed to win the Tag Team Titles again after a no contest with New Day. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and was really just a way to extend the feud yet another week as we’re getting closer and closer to Elimination Chamber, where this time FOR SURE we’re getting new champions. The feud and matches are still fun, but they’re running out of ways to have New Day survive without getting repetitive.

After the match, Ascension, the Lucha Dragons, Los Matadores and the Prime Time Players came out to confirm that it’s going to be six teams in the Chamber instead of just three. This makes for a very interesting match where it’s possible that several teams could walk out with the titles. Well other than Los Matadores or Prime Time Players of course but the other four all have at least a chance. I’m not sure who wins there and I love that feeling.

Now we get to the money part of the show: the US Open Challenge. This week’s was answered by NXT Champion Kevin Owens, who gave one of the best debut promos that I’ve ever seen, as he talked about the NXT Title being the real prize to fight for and how Cena doesn’t get to give him advice or pick the time where they fight. I’ve spent a lot of time on the podcasts on how much I loved this segment and Owens comes off like one of the best villains in a long time. He can back it up in the ring too and he’ll get to show that at Elimination Chamber. That’s a non-title match too, which a lot of people seem to be overlooking.

Dolph Ziggler beat Stardust in a very short match to set up Lana kissing him. I’m really not wild on that move but it’s what we’re stuck with for the time being, meaning Dolph is right back where he was a few years ago.

The Wyatts crushed Ryder/Fandango in a match designed to say “yo, we’re monsters.”

Nikki beat Naomi via DQ when Tamina interfered. Paige returned for the save and laid out Nikki in what wasn’t a heel turn.

The big ending segment was a long, drawn out exchange with Rollins making Kane praise him before Dean came out and threatened to put him through some cinder blocks until he was given a title shot. A bunch of brawling ensued and Rollins hit a Pedigree to stand tall to end the show.

I tried really hard to get into this one but it didn’t leave much for me to care about. The main event stuff has too many people floating around it right now. You have the Authority bosses, Kane, the Stooges (ok they don’t count as much) and the two guys in the match. They need to just let Ambrose and Rollins carry this instead of just putting everyone they can in there and making it a big mess all over again.

The rest of the show was an improvement over the main event with the Chamber matches both looking good and Owens vs. Cena making me all tingly. If they can keep the HHH/Stephanie involvement to a minimum, we could be looking at a very hot card at Elimination Chamber. Or we could be looking at the same lazy stuff WWE does over and over to waste their potential.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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We continue to marathon these pay per views and the big question here is can Payback continue to be the most unlikely good series in wrestling? The main event is a well enough built up fatal fourway with Rollins defending against Reigns, Ambrose and Orton, basically making it a Shield triple threat with Orton on the side. Let’s get to it.

I’m getting through the pre-show matches as fast as I can so I never have to think about them again. R-Truth beat Stardust in a bonus match with all the charm of a bad infection. These two have fought two or three times now and it’s gotten less and less interesting every single time. Therefore, look for them to fight again in the future.

In the other pre-show match, Ascension beat the Mega (changed from Meta for reasons of good taste) Powers in a short match. I would praise WWE for not going with the comedy act here, but I have some issues giving them credit for upgrading from a horrible move to common sense. Yeah they put Ascension over a newly formed comedy team. Am I supposed to be impressed? Finally, does anyone else feel dirty about calling them the Mega Powers?

The opener was a good back and forth match between Dolph Ziggler in Sheamus to seemingly blow off their feud. The key here was the end of the match where Ziggler headbutted Sheamus and busted himself open hardway, which caused the match to end in a hurry. Now granted they didn’t have to cut off much time as the match ran twelve minutes, but it always makes me curious to know what they were going to do otherwise.

Sheamus getting a nice win is the right idea though as he needs the push more than Ziggler. I’m pretty much over Dolph at the moment as he’s been the same guy for the better part of ever now. Yeah his matches are still good enough, but I haven’t been excited to see a Ziggler match in years now.

For reasons I don’t quite get, Kane and Rollins argued even more. On pay per view. I’m going to be really surprised if they set up a Kane face turn as that would be so far out of the realm of common sense these days for WWE. Rollins is almost going to have to turn face eventually though, as it’s the nature of being a heel in wrestling.

Now it’s time for the match people were drooling over: New Day defending the Tag Team Titles against Cesaro/Tyson Kidd in a 2/3 falls match. This had the potential to be one of the most entertaining matches in a very long time if they set it up right, but unfortunately that’s not exactly the way they went about it. Cesaro/Kidd won the first fall in less than three minutes (off a mostly botched Swing into the dropkick). This never sits well with me as the champions just got pinned in almost no time. Let the thing stretch out a bit or have them win the first fall by cheating so it doesn’t look that easy.

A bad looking Midnight Hour (with Kofi’s arm hitting Kidd’s back instead of being a DDT) tied things up in less than nine minutes total and NOW we could pick things up. This is where they get into the insanity with the hot near falls and all the good stuff…..and it was about five minutes long.

That’s where the match lost me a bit as the majority of the match was done in the first two falls instead of the really hot ending. This needed to be more of a bottom heavy match, setting up the really smart finish of having Woods pretend to be Kofi to steal the final pin. Yeah it’s borderline racist, but it was a really smart and even funny way to keep the belts on New Day. I would have liked more time here though and more offense from the challengers, but entertaining stuff all around.

Bray Wyatt and Ryback had a good power brawl built around the idea that Ryback had busted up ribs due to a backsplash off the apron from Wyatt. Granted it didn’t work as well as when Ryback hit a top rope splash and didn’t sell the ribs all that well. Either way, this was a fun enough match with Ryback going down at the end as he should have. Wyatt needed the win a lot more than Ryback did, but neither guy really needed a major loss at this point. Both guys are in need of a direction though, and that’s way too common a problem at this http://onhealthy.net/product-category/adhd/ level of the card.

Now we had the most entertaining and probably divisive match of the night as John Cena defended the US Title against Rusev in their final battle with an I Quit match. These two beat the living tar out of each other for nearly half an hour with the spots getting bigger and bigger. I had a great time here as they kept building up to the big ending, but the key was I wound up forgetting that it was an I Quit match other than the constant DO YOU QUIT. I know a lot of people have found this annoying, but I really didn’t have a big problem with it. Yeah they said it a lot, but that’s kind of the point of the match no?

This was exactly what this match should have been with both guys beating the living tar out of each other until Lana submitted for Rusev, which is likely going to trigger their split. It’s not the beat match in the world, but it was more than entertaining enough which is the right way to go with something like this. Rusev can get right back on track by beating like, anyone in a big match, so this didn’t hurt him all that bad. At the end of the day, he was destined to lose this feud, though I could have done with cutting the chain match and just going with this as the finale at Extreme Rules.

We’ll follow that up with my favorite part of the night: a quick New Day promo where they drink milk out of champagne glasses, brag about not complaining or swearing…..and of course do a spot take, complain and swear upon hearing that they’ll be defending their titles inside the Elimination Chamber. That’s the perfect moment for these three and I laughed just as much as I expected to. These guys can do no wrong at the moment and they’re a major highlight for me.

Naomi and Tamina beat the Bellas in the worst match of the night, which had some bad looking botches, bad timing and the least time of any match on the main card. This was nothing more than a way to set up Nikki vs. Naomi for the title, which really should have just been here instead of the next night on Raw but WWE doesn’t have the best logic at times anyway.

Neville beat King Barrett via countout in a good but short match. This was designed to introduce Neville’s knee injury, which seems to be his major story going forward. It doesn’t really change much about his offense, but at least they’re giving him some attention instead of just letting him be the same guy week after week until the crowd gets bored with him.

That brings us to the main event which is your standard wild brawl with all four getting in their big stuff with a bunch of near falls to tease a title change that was never coming. The big deal here was a very short Shield reunion, which blew the roof off the place for just a few moments. That’s all the validation they need to pull the trigger on a real reunion for the trio one day, as those three are going to be a force going forward.

The match itself was fun and that’s all it really needed to be. Thankfully Orton ate the pin because he’s a made man who can do whatever he wants and keep popping back up without any real damage being done to him. The ending came when Rollins Pedigreed Orton for the pin, which I’m assuming is to fuel Rollins vs. HHH down the line, but it comes off as more like Rollins screaming for his daddy’s attention. Good match, not my favorite ending though. I didn’t mind all the brawling like some have though. Rollins is a heel who cheated. Why is this some big surprise?

Overall, Payback was another big surprise as they had no reason for this to be much of anything, but it wound up being a more than entertaining show with some really solid matches in there. I don’t know if it’s due to the really low expectations or the really hard work, but for a show with nothing important going on, Payback was really fun and a great surprise.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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It’s the final show before Payback and there have been some notable changes in the last few weeks. To begin with, the show has felt a lot tighter lately as there has been a lot less talking and a lot more fighting, which makes for a better run show. We need to wrap things up before the four way and the fact that we’re in Ambrose’ hometown should help. Let’s get to it.

We open with HHH saying that daddy is home to straighten things out. This has been my biggest issue with Rollins and HHH: why in the world is Rollins acting like he’s HHH’s four year old son and trying to please him all the time? He’s the WWE World Champion and he’s still cowering in fear of HHH. Just let him be a man for once. You can still have him be a heel and everything will be fine, but let him have a backbone around the Authority for a change. You can do that without having him rebel.

Anyway, HHH is here to put an end to Kane vs. Rollins. For some reason, HHH implies that he and Kane have been friends for years and this isn’t the Kane he knew. As I said last week, when were they EVER friends? Just because something happened in the past doesn’t mean they’re friends now. Look back at Wrestlemania XXX where Piper and Hogan were about to fight all over again. The big reveal of this: if Rollins doesn’t keep the title on Sunday, Kane is out of a job. In other words, it’s all about Kane. Again.

Kane put all of the participants in the title match on Sunday in action tonight, starting with Ambrose squashing the Stooges.

Sheamus was on commentary as Barrett beat Ziggler in a short match, followed by a Brogue Kick. I like this loose association between Sheamus and Barrett as they would make a decent on/off tag team.

Erick Rowan squashed Fandango because…..well why do you think he did?

Cena’s speech before the Open Challenge was about how important the US Title is because anyone can have a chance at taking it from him. That’s a great line and very true. The match against Neville was as awesome as you would expect with Neville hitting the Red Arrow until Rusev interfered because that feud MUST continue.

These Open Challenges have been one of the best things to happen to Cena in years. You might have noticed that the fans have been saying LET’S GO CENA more and more recently and there’s a reason for that: he’s been treating us to some great wrestling every single week. At the end of the day, that’s what it boils down to: the fans want to see good wrestling and Cena lets things open up a bit instead of doing the same stuff over and over again. Let Cena, one of the best of all time, wrestle someone new every week and this is what you get.

Rusev knocked Cena out with the Accolade post match to appeal to the false hope demographic.

Kane and Reigns brawled instead of having a match, setting up a rematch on Friday.

Tamina beat Brie Bella to set up the tag match Sunday. Nikki is so far and away better than Brie in the ring that it’s unreal.

Curtis Axel and Macho Mandow beat up the Ascension instead of having their match. The pain this brings me knows no bounds and I hope the real team breaks them into more pieces than Brutus Beefcake’s face.

Daniel Bryan has to vacate the Intercontinental Title due to his injuries. I know it’s sad but this really shouldn’t surprise anyone at this point. Bryan needs to go away until he’s ready, then find another 15 doctors to say he’s really ready.

Cesaro beat Big E. in a decent power match. Just a setup for Sunday.

Elimination Chamber is coming back two weeks after Payback. That’s four weeks before Monday In The Bank. To translate, here’s how the WWE is thinking these days:

“LET’S GIVE THEM A LOT OF COOL FREE STUFF!!! THEN THEY’LL PAY FOR THE UNCOOL STUFF!”

Also they won’t promote the old wrestling stuff for whatever reason. Instead it’s Jerry Springer’s horrible show, their animated stuff (including that one episode of Hulk Hogan’s Rock and Wrestling they put up) and the podcasts. Mention the old wrestling and it would get pushed too.

Bray Wyatt said what Bray Wyatt says and Ryback leveled him. I still have no idea why they’re fighting but Wyatt needs a point again soon.

Orton and Rollins had the same match they’ve had over and over again until the Stooges came in for the DQ. This was one of those matches where you were just waiting for the DQ and they didn’t hide the fact whatsoever. Everyone came in for the show ending brawl with Ambrose standing tall.

This wasn’t a great stand alone show but it was a really fun go home show. Most of the matches for Sunday got time and the fans were hot all night. Throw in a good Cena open challenge and there’s not much more you could ask for. Fun stuff here and everyone looks good going into Sunday.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Payback 2015
Date: May 17, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We continue the rapid fire pay per views with one of the lower level yet often surprising shows of the year. The main event tonight is Seth Rollins defending the World Title in a four way against Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns and Randy Orton with Director of Operations Kane’s job on the line. Let’s get to it.

Pre-Show: Stardust vs. R-Truth

Bonus match because we’re just that lucky. Truth slaps him in the face to start as the fans chant for Cody and the announcers talk about the main event. Back up and Truth knocks him out to the apron as Cole isn’t sure if Truth says he’ll “make you disappear like your favorite” magician or mortician. Truth gets two off a jackknife cover but Stardust hits him in the face. Stardust eats the release gordbuster but nails a knee to the head for two. Off to a cravate on Truth followed by Matt Hardy’s Side Effect for two. We get a slap to the face with a glove to set off a duel before Little Jimmy ends Stardust at 6:49.

Rating: D. What a boring match. There was no reason for this to take place other than “Hey, let’s have another match!” Neither guy has anything going for them at the moment and thankfully this didn’t have any plastic spiders involved. Nothing to see here but to be fair it was a bonus so it’s not like anything is taken away.

There will be a new Steve Austin Podcast with Paul Heyman on June 1.

Pre-Show: Mega Powers vs. Ascension

That would be Curtis Axel as Hulk Hogan and Damien Sandow as Macho Mandow in case it’s Thursday and this gimmick is already dead. They were listed as the Meta Powers until tonight’s show. JBL thinks they look like Nacho Man and the Huckster for you mid-90s fans out there. Konnor kicks Axel in the ribs to start but it’s already time for Hulking Up. Curtis gets two off a legdrop and it’s off to Viktor for a chinlock. That goes nowhere so the hot tag brings in Mandow as the Powers clean house. The big elbow doesn’t work though and it’s the Fall of Man for the pin at 2:55. Thank goodness.

The opening video talks about Rollins trying to keep the title and Cena vs. Rusev in their final battle.

Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler looks utterly ridiculous in his cutoff jean vest and pink bandana. He goes right after Sheamus to start and knocks him to the floor where Sheamus comes up holding his knee. Back in and a cross body gets two but Sheamus takes his head off with a running ax handle. A suplex puts Ziggler down again and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Ziggler sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus into the post. Some forearms and a cross body put Sheamus in the corner and the jumping DDT gets two.

Ziggler sends him back to the corner and there’s something resembling a Stink Face to make up for Sheamus bailing on the stipulations last month. A livid Sheamus misses the Brogue and eats the Fameasser for two. Now Sheamus gets all fired up and slugs Ziggler down for some two counts and White Noise sets up the Cloverleaf. Ziggler makes it to the ropes and Sheamus is livid again, demanding that Ziggler give up. Instead Dolph headbutts Sheamus (busting himself WAY open) and superkicks him down for two. Ziggler is dizzy from the blood loss though and the Brogue Kick ends this at 12:27.

Rating: B-. I had a good time with this and that blood came out of nowhere. Sheamus needed this win more than Ziggler did as Dolph can bounce back no matter what. Maybe that kick can knock Ziggler out of the 80s and into the late 90s for a change because he looks ridiculous in that attire.

Kane and Rollins bicker some more with Kane implying he wants Rollins to lose the title and doesn’t mind getting fired. Rollins threatens Stooge violence and gets laughed off. There was zero reason for this to be on pay per view.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd

2/3 falls with New Day defending after taking the belts from Cesaro/Kidd at Extreme Rules. New Day comes out and suggests positive thinking for everyone here, including the Baltimore Orioles in the audience because they haven’t won a World Series in over 30 years. Kidd slams Kofi (teaming with Big E. here) down to start and it’s quickly off to the power guys.

A powerslam gets two on E. but he comes back with a gorilla press to put Cesaro down. Back to Kofi who gets caught in a delayed vertical suplex with Kidd coming off the top to drive him down. Kidd catapults Kofi into a spinebuster and the Swing into a dropkick mostly misses but gets the pin and the first fall at 2:50.

Woods wants in via the Freebird Rule but eats a cannonball off the apron for his efforts. Kofi and Big E. officially start the second fall but Big E. misses a spear through the apron for a big crash. Kidd gets greedy though and dives over the top into a release overhead belly to belly to give the champions control. We hit the bearhug on Tyson as Woods shouts that he’s the mastermind of the team.

Kidd escapes and makes the hot tag, but Big E. spears Cesaro through the ropes and into the barricade for a big crash. Fans: “THIS IS AWESOME!” Woods: “WE KNOW THAT!” Kofi goes up top but dives into a dropkick. Kidd kicks as fast as he can but gets caught in a mostly missed (notice the trend) Midnight Hour (Kofi’s DDT was more like an elbow to the back) to tie it up at 8:14 total.

We start the third fall with Cesaro finally getting back on the apron to take another hot tag. He starts cleaning house but can’t get Big E. up for the tiger bomb and just drops him in a bad looking spot. Instead he hits a running European uppercut followed by a kind of Demolition Decapitation with Kidd springboarding into the elbow drop. Big E. is whipped over the announcers’ table. A huge uppercut drops Kofi again but E. dives in for the save. In the melee, Woods sneaks in and small packages Kidd for the pin to retain at 13:20.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but the botches hurt it for me a bit. Still though, this was the awesome stuff you would expect from both teams. They even left the door open to continue it, as one day Kidd and Cesaro will get a clean shot against these two, which is exactly what they’re shooting for here. Also this could have been five minutes longer for three falls.

Elimination Chamber ad.

Ryback promises to prove himself to Bray Wyatt tonight.

We recap Wyatt vs. Ryback. This still doesn’t explain why they’re fighting.

Ryback vs. Bray Wyatt

Ryback stomps him down to start and easily clotheslines Bray out to the floor. He grabs him by the beard to bring him back in but Bray hits his running cross body to take over. We hit a bad looking chinlock (Bray’s arm is nowhere near Ryback’s throat) before he sidesteps a charging Ryback to send him into the post.

Bray sends him into the apron and hits a nice backsplash off the apron to crush Ryback’s ribs. The countout is barely beaten so Bray hits a running charge in the corner, only to get powerbombed off the middle rope. They both head to the floor with Ryback circling around, only to walk into a hard clothesline.

Back in again and Ryback kicks the arm away to block another clothesline. A spinebuster has Bray in trouble but he pops up and sets Ryback on the ropes for a superplex. Ryback headbutts him down and hits a top rope splash of all things, causing his injured ribs (from the backsplash) to flare up. Both finishers are countered and Bray pulls the turnbuckle pad off. The referee looks at the pad, allowing Bray to drive the bad ribs into the exposed buckle, setting up Sister Abigail for the pin at 10:29.

Rating: B-. They’re rolling with these matches so far tonight. This was the power brawl they needed to go with and the ribs helped them out a lot. Bray getting the pin is a nice touch for him and Ryback has a complaint for a rematch (notice the trend tonight). Good stuff here and I had a better time with it than I was expecting.

Money in the Bank ad, with a Home Shopping Network theme. The show is June 14, which is two weeks after Elimination Chamber, which is two weeks after Payback.

We recap Rusev vs. Cena. Rusev won at Fast Lane but Cena won the title at Wrestlemania XXXI and the rematch at Extreme Rules. Tonight is the final battle in an I Quit match.

US Title: John Cena vs. Rusev

Cena is defending in an I Quit match. Rusev gives Cena a chance to quit before the match to please half the fans but Cena wants to get on with it, earning him a kick to the ribs. The fans want Lana so Rusev makes her sit in a chair near Lawler. Back in and Rusev stomps away as the fans carry on the dueling chants. Rusev dropkicks him into the corner for a no and a spinwheel kick puts Cena down again.

The fans chant for Lana so Rusev goes outside to yell at her. Cena has had no offense so far. It’s time to wave the Russian flag before a fall away slam sends Cena out to the floor. Cena goes into the steps but won’t quit so Rusev puts the steps in the corner for two more hard whips. The steps go down and Cena finally hits a backdrop for his first offensive move. Then, like a schmuck, he tries a cross body and gets caught in a swinging Rock Bottom onto the steps.

The big stomp hits the steps though and Cena nails a quick AA onto them as well but Rusev can’t speak. Cena sends him into the post for a no and then threatens to put him through the barricade if he doesn’t quit. Rusev says no so Cena does what he promised. That’s another no so they fight up to the technical area with Rusev gently laying Cena on a table with an Alabama Slam.

Cena pops up and puts the table against the wall before hitting Rusev with a monitor. Still no from the Russian so Cena hits him with a laptop for the same result. The AA is countered into a better Alabama Slam through the table but Cena still says no. Rusev finds the pyro controls but Cena AA’s him onto the fireworks, causing them to go off. Somehow that’s still a no so Cena finds a piece of a barricade and nails Rusev in the face.

The barricade is put up against the apron but Rusev suplexes Cena halfway through it for another no. The stunned look on Rusev’s face is perfect. Back inside the ring and we hit the Accolade but Cena is out cold, meaning he can’t say he quits. With nothing left to do, Rusev unhooks the top rope and pours water over Cena to wake him up. Rusev pulls back the hook but Cena takes him down into the STF with the rope over Rusev’s face. He rants in Russian and Lana quits for him at 28:49.

Rating: A. Oh yeah this was awesome. They had built up Rusev as never quitting but you knew Lana was going to be involved somewhere in there. Really fun stuff here though as they just let the guys beat the tar out of each other. This should have been the match they did last month and cut out the chain match as this was WAY more extreme than anything last month.

The kickoff panel chats while the ring is repaired.

The New Day toasts their win (with milk!) and ask who are the five greatest teams of all time. “New Day! New Day! New Day! New Day! New Day!” They’re role models who don’t curse, spit or complain. Kofi: “Toast, toast. Oh pinkies!” Byron tells them that they’re defending the Tag Team Titles inside the Elimination Chamber and Big E. spits out his milk while Woods curses.

Bella Twins vs. Tamina/Naomi

Nikki takes Naomi down to start and it’s off to Brie for the BRIE MODE running knee. Tamina superkicks Brie onto the apron to take over before standing on the hair. Back to Naomi for a front facelock but Brie crawls away (falling on her head in the process) for the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Nikki cleans house but takes the Rear View for a near fall. Tamina drives Brie into the barricade to distract Nikki on the top, allowing Naomi to slam her off the top for the pin at 6:13.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and it was one of the most obvious endings you could have imagined. Allegedly this gets Naomi into the title hunt, despite the fact that there are eight active Divas on the roster (not counting Rosa, who is nowhere near the title and shouldn’t be), including the Bellas. Nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw here but Nikki looked good, as always.

Ad for the WWE prank show. They can advertise this, but not “YOU CAN WATCH EVERY PAY PER VIEW EVER!” Such are the priorities in WWE.

Rusev throws Lana out.

We look back at Daniel Bryan vacating the Intercontinental Title on Raw.

King Barrett vs. Neville

Neville starts fast with the front flip out of the corner into a cross body off the middle rope to send Barrett to the floor. He loads up the headstand into the headscissors but Barrett throws the feet into the air for the kick to the ribs. I love it when they adapt like that instead of just doing the same spots in the same places. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Barrett hits the knees and big boot in the ropes.

Neville comes back with his own kicks and a standing shooting star press for two. The Bull Hammer misses but Winds of Change gets two. Neville heads to the apron for a springboard but has to turn it into an armdrag and cradle to counter another Bull Hammer. Barrett rolls away to avoid to avoid the Red Arrow so Neville dives on him, only to come up holding his knee. He gets back inside but Barrett intentionally takes the countout at 7:26. Neville is able to stand on his own so the knee doesn’t seem that bad.

Rating: C+. I had a good time with this as these two have chemistry together. Neville’s strong push continues as he even gets to win a pay per view match this time. They’re developing a nice midcard these days and it’s actually working really well. The countout was another good idea as they’ve really tightened up the booking tonight for the losers.

Post match Barrett comes back in and decks Neville before putting on the robe and crown. He misses a scepter shot though and eats a German suplex, followed by the Red Arrow.

Tough Enough videos.

Kane wishes Rollins good luck.

We recap the World Title match.  Kane set up a fan vote which made the match a triple threat, but when Rollins complained, Kane made it a four way with Ambrose involved as well.  If Rollins loses, Kane is out of a job.

WWE World Title: Seth Rollins vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton

Rollins is defending and it’s one fall to a finish. Kane comes down to watch from the beginning. Everyone zeroes in on Rollins to start but the Stooges are here to save the day. Ambrose dives onto Orton and Rollins but Reigns dives onto all of them plus the Stooges. Reigns and Rollins are the only ones in the ring for a bit and the champ hits a quick Downward Spiral into the middle buckle.

Ambrose and Orton take their places and the slug it out with Dean getting two off a powerslam. Reigns comes back in and counters an RKO before Randy and Dean fall to the floor. The champ stomps Reigns down in the corner but Dean comes back in to help his buddy. Kane finally gets involved (a full five minutes into the match) by decking Ambrose and throwing him back in to Rollins.

The springboard knee to the head gets two on Dean but Ambrose fights back with an attempt at Dirty Deeds, drawing in Kane for a chokeslam to break it up. Orton pulls Kane to the floor and slugs away at him before going back inside to t-bone suplex Rollins for two. They head outside with Randy loading up the table…..and eating a TripleBomb for a quick Shield reunion. Note the MONSTER pop for that.

Rollins puts his arms around Reigns and Dean before putting out his fist. We’ll skip ahead a few seconds to Ambrose loading up Rollins for another powerbomb with Kane having to make a save. Rollins is laid on the table for a DoubleBomb to Kane but the table doesn’t break. Fans: “ONE MORE TIME!” They get their wish here and now Kane is driven through Rollins through the table. Reigns: “Not much else to do.” Ambrose: “No there’s not.” Reigns: “Loser buys the beers?”

They slug it out in the ring with Reigns missing the clothesline and eating a cross body for two. Reigns gets a rollup of his own but lifts Dean up into a sitout powerbomb for two of his own. The Superman Punch connects for a very close two but the spear hits knee. Reigns spins out of Dirty Deeds though and nails the spear, only to have Rollins dive in for the save.

There’s a Superman Punch to Rollins but Dean clotheslines Roman down. Dirty Deeds lays out Seth but Kane pulls him to the floor. Kane chokeslams Reigns onto the stairs but Orton is back up to lay Kane out. Mercury breaks up the elevated DDT so both Stooges get RKOs. Now the DDT works but Kane has to eat an RKO, allowing Rollins to hit a Pedigree of all things to retain the title at 20:52.

Rating: A-. Loved the match but can we please have Rollins stop acting like HHH is his great and mighty father who must be pleased at all times? It’s beyond old already. Anyway, they made the exactly right call by having this be pure chaos and the Shield tease was awesome. Those three are going to headline a show someday and it’s going to be a huge deal. Really funny stuff here and a great way to cap off the show. Hopefully this doesn’t set up Rollins vs. Kane though.

HHH comes out to celebrate with Rollins to close the show.

Overall Rating: A. Why is Payback always so awesome? I’d really like an answer to this. It’s clearly meant to be a B show and has a stupid name but this is the third year in a row that it’s been one of the best shows all year. Only the Bellas match was kind of lame but other than that, this show was really fun match after really fun match. I had a blast with this and somehow that’s becoming less and less of a surprise every year, which is a very good thing.

Results

Sheamus b. Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick

New Day b. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro – Small package to Kidd

Bray Wyatt b. Ryback – Sister Abigail

John Cena b. Rusev – Lana quit for Rusev while Rusev was in the STF

Naomi/Tamina b. Bella Twins – Slam off the top

Neville b. King Barrett via countout

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns, Randy Orton and Dean Ambrose – Pedigree to Orton

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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I know I’m not the biggest fan of the current product, but this show actually gives me hope. I didn’t expect anything the first two years they ran this show and they were both excellent surprises. It’s way too soon after Extreme Rules and way too close to Elimination Chamber, but maybe they can pull off something good for a good show. Let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the preshow and the match that makes me want to go on a hatchet rampage: the Meta Powers (yes seriously) vs. Ascension. Now let’s pause for a second here. I like to consider myself a patient man. I’ve sat through some of the dumbest ideas I’ve ever seen and managed to survive. I got through every original episode of Monday Nitro and Thunder (and now I’m doing it AGAIN). I even made it through the Ruthless Aggression Era on Monday Night Raw.

But now I think I’ve reached my breaking point (which may or may not include Randy Orton torture material). After a year of the Ascension being one of the coolest tag teams of the year in NXT and seeing them debut as a pretty cool throwback idea, I’m going to have to watch Curtis Axel and Damien Sandow imitate great wrestlers beat them in an unfunny comedy match because Vince and Dunn will laugh at it.

Ascension may be the greatest travesty in wrestling in years and now it’s time to put this thrown together team over them for the sake of a lame comedy act. Remember when Charlie Haas did this and it got old in like two months? This isn’t even getting two months, at least not from me. It’s two guys with nothing better to do than imitate legends because WWE decided to have Miz win the blowoff and then run off to go make a movie, leaving Sandow around to flounder because they don’t think more than an hour ahead at any given time. I can’t stand this idea and it’s going to make me want to hurt someone. Maybe Repo Man.

Oh yeah there’s a full pay per view to go.

Cena over Rusev, even though Rusev somehow getting the title back would be more interesting. However, I’ll take Cena retaining as we can get more of the Open Challenges, which are pretty easily what I look forward to the most on Raw every single week. Even the fans in the arena are catching on. Notice how strong a reaction Cena has been getting lately. Let a good wrestler have good matches and people will cheer. Yes, it really is that simple. What isn’t simple is HOW HAVE THESE TWO NEVER HAD A FLAG MATCH? If there has ever been an easier layup for a gimmick I don’t know what it is, but we’ve never seen one.

Rollins to reta…..I’m sure about this aren’t I? WWE has actually made me think about this one more than once and I can’t believe I’m saying that. The key here is Elimination Chamber, because there’s the slightest chance they’ll pull the trigger on a two week title reign for someone and then get it back on Rollins. Unfortunately I think they’ll keep the title on Rollins here and set up his defense against Kane at the nothing pay per view. At least that keeps it quick I guess. Yeah Rollins to retain and no one turns.

I think they’ll go with Barrett over Neville. Despite winning King of the Ring earlier this month, somehow he needs the win more. It’s very sad to say but that’s actually the truth. Neville is going to be over because of his awesome flips and the fact that he busts out a different move every now and then to keep things going. The fact that this guy debuted like six weeks ago and is basically a coin toss against the King of the Ring is astounding.

Sheamus beats Ziggler to even the series, setting up a blowoff at Money in the Bank because they’ll both be inside the Chamber for the Intercontinental Title because WWE keeps the same people in the same spots on the card for like ever.

And now……wait…..I think I……..I THINK I CAN FEEL THE POWAH! Yeah I still love that intro. If this isn’t the match of the night by about 18,000 miles, I’m going to be shocked. I think New Day holds the titles in the 2/3 falls match over Kidd/Cesaro and then drops them inside the chamber, which might be best as you don’t want them to lose their heat. This is going to be amazing and I can’t wait to see how they handle the Elimination Chamber match. I can’t believe it but dang this is the best thing going today.

Ryback vs. Wyatt is happening too. That’s about the extent of my thoughts about it at this point even though I think about it more than any feud going on right now. It’s such a weird feud as they really don’t have a reason to be fighting. Bray just picked Ryback and is feuding with him, but the match has the potential to be very entertaining with two guys beating the tar out of each other for about fifteen minutes. I’m actually not sure if this needs more development or not. Bray isn’t the kind of guy that needs a reason to do anything and if the matches are good, who cares?

Tamina and Naomi to beat the Bella Twins so Naomi can get into the title hunt, whatever that means. You have like eight activeish Divas (Bellas, Naomi, Tamina, Fox, Cameron, Natalya and Summer. Yes I left off Rosa and if you can’t figure out why, I’ve failed at educating you) including the champion and her partner. Who isn’t in the title hunt?

Overall, I’m actually looking forward to this show. This has the potential to be a really, really strong card (when is the last time I didn’t say that actually?) with only the Divas doing nothing for me. Yeah there’s another show in two weeks, but this could be a really fun outing, especially with such low expectations.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: May 14, 2015
Location: Ford Center, Evansville, Indiana
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole

It’s the final show before Payback and we’re pretty much all set up. Raw ended with Ambrose standing tall over his three opponents, meaning tonight is likely going to end with one of the other three doing the same, albeit not over the other three people in the match. Raw has been good lately so Smackdown has a lot to live up to. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with Bray Wyatt talking about Ryback coming face to face with him on Monday. Ryback is a very strong man, but he has an Achilles heel. Bray is going to prove that the Garden of Eden does exist and tonight he’ll scratch an itch. Ryback’s dreams will be turned into nightmares. Resist the itch and run. Why are these two even fighting?

Here’s Dean Ambrose to get things going. Dean says he works best alone, fights alone and drinks alone. It felt good on Monday to stand alone because this Sunday it’s every man for himself. You have Seth Rollins and his Lollipop Guild Goon Squad. Randy Orton was last seen eating a spear. That leaves Roman Reigns, who is Dean’s only friend in the world. Dean has one thing to say to Roman, but he’ll get to say it to his face as here comes Reigns.

Dean isn’t going to apologize but Reigns wasn’t expecting one. This past Monday, Dean hit him with Dirty Deeds and that’s all he’s going to get. There’s no grudge between them because they’re brothers but this Sunday, Reigns is bringing the big guns. They’re about to shake hands when Kane comes out.

Dean should be less concerned with winning the Slammy Award for Bromance of the Year and be worried about what he has to do. Ambrose brings up HHH’s decree that Kane is out of a job if Rollins doesn’t win on Monday. This might be the last night we see Corporate Kane. That’s not cool with Kane, who makes Ambrose vs. Sheamus RIGHT NOW. Ambrose: “Is that the only time you know?”

Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose

This match starts after a break. They fight up against the ropes with neither getting an advantage so it’s time to go basic. Ambrose grabs a top wristlock but gets taken down with a headlock. Dean ties his legs up though and grabs the mohawk for a kick to the back. Sheamus gets a boot up in the corner but Dean bulldogs him down to take over again. The running dropkick against the ropes is countered and Sheamus knees him out to the floor.

We take a break and come back with Dean slugging away but getting caught in the Cloverleaf. Dean makes the ropes like any good rebellious hero should do, only to charge into White Noise. To be fair he deserves that after not selling the hold. The threat of the Brogue Kick sends Dean to the floor and he nails a hard clothesline to take over again.

Back in and it’s a missed Brogue Kick, a clothesline to the floor and a suicide dive to take Sheamus out again. Back in again and Sheamus’ tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two. He takes too long to follow up though and eats a clothesline, sending Dean to the top. Sheamus tries what looks to be a top rope powerslam (facing the floor instead of the ring though) but Dean slips out to avoid the whole broken back thing and sends Sheamus face first onto the post, followed by a rollup to give Dean the pin at 12:42.

Rating: B. This was the fun power brawl that you would expect between these two. Ambrose is one of those guys that can work well against anyone regardless of their size or style. Unfortunately it came at the expense of Sheamus, who has lost almost all of his momentum since returning with the really good bully character. Therefore, he’s likely getting the title in the Chamber.

Rollins channels his inner Stephanie by repeating the stipulations of Sunday’s match to Kane in a way that no normal person would ever actually speak. Kane says he’s set for life and doesn’t need the Authority’s money. Oh and Rollins gets Ryback tonight.

Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. The fans chant USA but Rusev says the woman wants to talk. Lana reads a prepared statement, apologizing for Fandangoing on Raw last week. It should all be about Rusev, who shows us a clip from Raw where Rusev interrupted Neville vs. Cena and beat John up post match. I can’t wait for this feud to be over already so the writers have to wake their lazy brains up for a change.

Rusev knows Cena was quitting in his head when he passed out, but this Sunday everyone will hear him quit. We get a loop of Cena saying he quits (out of context) from Raw and no big followup line to end this. Lawler however does think that video was doctored because Cena never gives up.

Ryback says he’s no meat head. He saw fear in Wyatt’s eyes on Monday but tonight, he’s hungry.

Tough Enough videos, including one from Gabriel Iglesias.

Here’s Rollins with something to say before his match with Ryback. He continues the trend of showing clips from Raw by giving us his big beatdown, but promises that’s the last time anything like that will happen.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Non-title but that might not matter as Wyatt jumps Ryback on his way to the ring. Back from a break and Ryback says he can go because he’s tough that way and the idea of calling a DQ for someone attacking before the match is unheard of in this company. Ryback tries a suplex to start but Seth knees him in the head to escape and knocks Ryback out to the floor. He dives back in at nine and eats a DDT for two. We see a clip of Bray’s attack, which was just a shoulder block. Ryback is that banged up off a single shoulder?

A neckbreaker gets two for Seth and he slaps on a front facelock. Ryback counters exactly how you would expect him to and plants Seth with a tilt-a-whirl powerslam to put both guys down. The big guy gets all fired up and nails a not great spinebuster for two. The Meat Hook connects but Rollins rakes the eyes (a rare sight these days) to break up the Shell Shock. Seth hits the top rope knee to the head and the a pair of low superkicks for the pin at 8:23.

Rating: C. So to recap, a shoulder block is enough to knock Ryback silly and give him a huge disadvantage? I love the idea of not having Ryback lose clean, but couldn’t they have had Bray send him into the steps or give him a big beatdown or something more than a simple shoulder? The match was fine and actually had a story to it of Rollins focusing on the head with the low superkicks getting the pin. It’s not as good as the curb stomp but I’ll take a high impact move over that lame falling DDT.

Here’s what you missed on the WWE Network this week. So the news broke this week that the classic content wasn’t getting a lot of views. Now I’m just thinking out loud but maybe people might watch it if it was advertised, say, once. That’s just nutty though as WWE thinks eight minute interviews with the stars of a movie that is bombing or Wiz Khalifa is what really draws in the viewers.

It’s the Bellas vs. Naomi/Tamina on Sunday. That makes sense but can we please stop finding ways to keep the title on Nikki? It’s just not going to be seen as epic no matter how WWE tries to spin it.

Naomi brags about how strong Tamina is and says they’re tired of walking around empty handed. The Bellas get all the opportunities around here, even though Nikki is overrated and Brie is more worthless than her quitting husband.

Tyson Kidd vs. Kofi Kingston

Before the match, Woods informs us that Cesaro/Kidd are cheaters but the New Day is giving them one more title shot on Payback. Big E. tells us just how bad Cesaro/Kidd are: they don’t recycle, the double dip and they buy one ticket at the movies and go see two! The New Day is the change you need to see in this world and the fans should sing with them. Instead it’s a siren and we’re ready to go.

Kofi kicks him in the ribs to start as Woods is cheering even harder than usual this week. Tyson fights back and knocks Kofi to the floor for a big flip dive (Woods: “KOFI MOVE!”). The New Day distraction prevents the Sharpshooter but Tyson gets it on a few seconds later for the submission at 2:06.

Elimination Chamber preview.

We see Bryan’s speech from Raw as he vacates the title. This seems to be the promised health update.

Here’s Bo Dallas with something to say. He saw Daniel Bryan vacate the title on Monday but he sees it as an opportunity. There are five stages of grief and Dallas can help you through them all. First up is denial, but there is no denying that Bryan let all the fans down. Next is anger, which the fans should feel towards Bryan for letting you down.

Third is bargaining. You’ll get one heck of a bargain on those Daniel Bryan t-shirts now that he’s gone. Depression is going to completely engulf Bryan when he realizes everyone has forgotten him. Finally there’s acceptance and Dallas can help us all accept that Daniel is gone. All you have to do to accept it is Bo-lieve! Dallas will have a job for years with promos like this.

Neville vs. Bo Dallas

This is joined in progress after a break with King Barrett on commentary and Neville flipping forward out of the corner. Neville sends him to the floor but gets pulled down onto the apron to give Bo an opening. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit but Neville fights back with those running kicks to the head. A longer Red Arrow than usual is good for the pin at 2:17. I believe this is Neville’s first match against anyone who has never held a WWE Title.

Post match Barrett mocks Neville for wearing a stupid costume every week. This Sunday Neville is in for some corporal punishment in the form of a royal Bull Hammer.

The Rosebuds ask Adam Rose when they’re going to be paid. Rose doesn’t take kindly to this and says they’re just like the Bunny. The hot dog gets pushed down and the party is officially over. Rosa kisses him and Kane walks by them on his way to the ring. So the Rosebuds are officially gone. That’s probably for the best, but Rose really needs to get away from Rosa as she’s possibly the most worthless Diva in years.

More Tough Enough hype.

Kane vs. Roman Reigns

Pin or submission only, making this a glorified street fight. Kane goes after Reigns during the entrance again and they slug it out on the floor before the bell. Neither guy can get the better of it until Kane sends him into the steps. We finally get a bell and Kane punches Reigns back to the floor, only to miss a stairs shot against the post.

It’s kendo stick time (because there must be kendo sticks under the ring at all times for reasons that aren’t entirely clear) but Kane takes it away from Roman and pounds him down. A kendo stick to the face gets two and we take a break. Back with Reigns taking a big boot to the face for two more before Kane throws him outside.

Kane loads up the table but Reigns punches him down and nails a clothesline off the table. It’s time to bring the steps back in as Reigns drives them into Kane’s head to put him down again. Roman throws in a pair of tables but Kane takes his head off with a big boot for two. The chokeslam through the table is blocked but Kane catches the Superman Punch in a chokeslam through the table for two. Thanks for coming Kane and if you would kindly stand in front of that table in the corner for the spear please. A Superman Punch puts Kane in perfect position and the spear through the wood is good for the pin at 11:16.

Rating: C. Decent enough brawl but it felt like they were filling in time until the obvious ending. Kane is still capable of having a power brawl but my limited interest in him is killed by the long promos with HHH and Rollins, plus a story that almost no one cares about. Good enough here though and Reigns kicking out of a big finisher keeps up the idea that he never quits.

Seth isn’t worried about Reigns but it’s going to take more than that to get this belt off him on Sunday. That’s true for anyone that wants to take the title off of him, including Ambrose…..who is behind the Stooges. For some reason he has a plate of cookies to throw at them but the numbers catch up with him. This brings in Roman Reigns for the save and they stare each other down. The camera pans down to show the belt on the ground. Roman extends his hand but Dean reaches down and picks up the belt. He puts it on Reigns’ shoulder, saying he’ll take it back on Sunday.

Overall Rating: C-. How was this possibly a two hour show? It feels like we should just be at the halfway mark and somehow the whole thing is already done. This show did as well as it could have with what it had though, as Payback just isn’t that interesting. I don’t have much of a reason to care about seeing the same stuff that’s been boring me for five hours a week for another three hours this Sunday. Passable episode this week but nothing past that.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Sheamus – Rollup

Seth Rollins b. Ryback – Low superkick

Tyson Kidd b. Kofi Kingston – Sharpshooter

Roman Reigns b. Kane – Spear through a table

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Well that’s certainly different.  I can’t wait for them to use the obvious six people for the Intercontinental Title match though, making sure we’re never getting any elevation and with the title winding up on Ziggler or Barrett.  Again.

The Tag Team Title match could be fun though.