Royal Rumble 1998 Date: January 18, 1998
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 18,542
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
It’s the year of Austin and for once, the WWF is looking good going forward as the debacle that was the main event of Starrcade has caused WCW to hit a brick wall. The main event tonight is Shawn defending the title against Taker because he didn’t want to face Owen Hart, the most logical opponent. Also there’s the Rumble, which is obvious of a winner as there’s been in years, but in this case that’s ok. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about the two main matches as you would expect. The rest of the card doesn’t mean much anyway.
Mike Tyson is in a skybox.
Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust
This is during Goldie’s midlife crisis/PAY ATTENTION TO ME phase. These two had a great match at Clash of the Champions so maybe this won’t suck. Goldust jumps him as Jerry is glad the gold one is in men’s clothing again. Vader shrugs off the shots to the back and chases Goldust to the floor. Vader rams him into Luna as we hear about Austin not being here yet. Goldust is sent into the steps as Vader keeps control.
Back in and Luna trips Vader up, finally allowing Goldie to get in a clothesline. Another clothesline puts him down and Goldust works on the leg a bit. Goldie drops a middle rope elbow to the ribs and we head back to the floor. Vader is sent into the steps so Luna can choke him a bit before we head back in. Goldust pounds away again but stops to kiss Vader. I may not be a pro wrestler, but I know better than to kiss a guy called the Rocky Mountain Monster.
Vader kills him with a clothesline and suplexes Goldust down before getting two off a splash. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but a low blow stops him cold. Another clothesline puts Goldie down again and Vader sits on his chest. He loads up the Bomb again and despite Luna jumping in his back, Vader drops it anyway and crushes Goldust for the pin.
Rating: D. The place popped for the ending which did look cool, but other than that this was a messed up match. Goldust in this gimmick didn’t really work because at the end of the day, he’s still boring old Dustin Rhodes working the same standard style. It’s not horrible but it’s not a good choice to have on a PPV.
Austin gets here and tells Cole to park his truck. Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns) follow him, presumably to jump him.
Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula
Minis here with Sunny as the referee. Max Mini (more famous as Mascarita Sagrada) is by far the most famous of these guys as he’s about 4 and a half feet tall but can move around very quickly. Nova and Tarantula start things off with Tarantula (on the heel team) being way bigger. Nova takes him down with some headscissors before it’s quickly off to Battalion (military themed guy) vs. Max. Max armdrags him to the floor which brings in Torito, meaning we’re in lucha rules (meaning sending someone to the floor means another member of your team can come in without an actual tag).
Torito can actually get his head over the top rope, meaning he’s just under the size of Rey Mysterio. Mosaic comes in and gets caught in a gorilla press and a release flapjack. A second flapjack attempt is caught in a wrist drag to send Torito to the floor and it’s off to Tarantula. That goes nowhere so here’s Battalion again. The fast tags continue as here’s Nova vs. Torito already.
They both hit the floor so Mosaic speeds things up against Battalion again. Mosaic spins him around again a few times before it’s back to Mini vs. Tarantula. Max gets caught in a spinebuster but goes up top almost immediately for a delayed rana. Max sends him to the floor and Tarantula backs off. Back in and Torito hits a Mafia kick to the back of Max’s head and a chop puts him down again.
For no apparent reason Sunny picks Max up so he can dropkick the villains. I can only assume Sunny is there to give the fans anything to care about. Mosaic and Battalion go to the floor as does Torito so Max can hit his big dive. The others dive on them as well and it’s a big pile on the floor. Back in Max rolls up Torito for the pin.
Rating: C. I’m going with a C because I have no idea what else to go with. I don’t know who these people are, I have no idea why I should care, and I might have seen these guys twice other than this (aside from Max). These matches are really hard to get into because there’s nothing to them. Much like a lot of the luchador matches in WCW had the same issue: why should I care about these people?
The Nation goes to attack Austin but only find an Austin foam finger.
The McMahons are in Tyson’s sky box.
We recap Shamrock vs. Rock. Shamrock has charged through the Nation to get this shot at the unofficial leader of the team. Mark Henry joined the Nation to save Rock from Shamrock less than a week ago.
The Nation argues over which of them will win the Rumble. Rock says the fans of course want to know what he thinks of Clinton and Paula Jones, so he tells the President not to lie down with dogs or you might get fleas. This joke would be done way better over the next few weeks.
Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock
Rock is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Rocky trying to get a cheap shot in the corner. Both guys shove the other into the corner and Shamrock blocks a shot to the face before hitting one of his own. They run the ropes a bit until Shamrock kicks him in the chest and knocks the champion out to the floor. Back in and Rock pounds away a bit before hitting a corner clothesline. Ken comes back with some clotheslines of his own but the standing clothesline is countered into a hot shot for two.
They’re trying to get out of first gear here but it’s really not working that well. The champ pounds on him in the corner and but gets caught in a fisherman’s suplex for two. Back to the floor with Shamrock going into the steps and then back into the ring. The spinning DDT gets two for Rock and it’s off to the chinlock. Rock tries the spinning DDT again but gets caught in a northern lights suplex for two instead.
Shamrock pounds away some more and gets two off a powerslam. The Nation comes out and sneaks Rocky some knuckles which go upside Ken’s head for two. Rock hides said knuckles in Shamrock’s trunks, just before getting belly to bellied for the pin and the title. Keep that in mind of course.
Rating: D+. Rock would get better, but at the end of the day this didn’t work that well. It was mainly punching with both guys trying to throw in a move here or there. This feud never quite worked as well as they were shooting for I don’t think and with Rocky holding the title forever, it didn’t do Shamrock much good either.
Post match the referee finds the knuckles and reverses the decision. The referee is beaten up very badly for his efforts.
A Coliseum Video Exclusive from “moments later” show a clean and dry Shamrock in jeans attacking the Rock.
Los Boricuas attack someone who they think is Austin but find one of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Brawling ensues.
We recap the LOD vs. the Outlaws, which is old school vs. new with the Outlaws defending the titles. The Outlaws put a big old beating on the LOD and tonight is their return.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom
The Outlaws make fun of the 49ers who lost in the NFC Title game recently to the Packers. The LOD says that Animal’s back is fine and they’re putting the Outlaws on ice tonight. The Outlaws jump the challengers which goes badly in a hurry, as Animal powerbombs the Dogg. The champions try to walk out but get thrown back in so we can start with Hawk (who had one mohawk shaved off earlier in this feud) vs. Roadie.
Off to Animal as Road Dogg’s mouth is bleeding. The pounding continues so here’s Hawk for his one wrestling move in the neckbreaker. Gunn gets the tag and Hawk hits a freaking Lou Thesz Press of all things so he can pound away some more. Animal powerslams both Outlaws down and it’s off to a reverse chinlock on Gunn. Hawk comes in for his second surprise move of the match in an STF.
That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal, who is tripped up by Roadie. They head outside where Animal is sent into the steps to finally switch the momentum. Hawk gets double teamed in the ring but clotheslines both Outlaws down (Animal is still legal) but charges into the post. Dogg finds some handcuffs and attaches Hawk to the post, making it a handicap match. Animal makes a comeback with a double clothesline, but Dogg hits him with a chair for the DQ.
Rating: D. So with an injury AND his partner tied up on the floor, Animal STILL couldn’t lay down for a pin? Seriously? This match sucked and would have been just slightly better on Raw with less time. The LOD was nothing at this point while the Outlaws were finally starting to turn some heads. Until this point though, they were two jobbers with the titles who kept escaping with them. Brighter days were coming.
The Outlaws destroy Animal until Hawk snaps the handcuffs to make the save.
Some fan wins the Austin truck.
We recap the build up to the Rumble. Basically, everyone knows Austin is going to win and EVERYONE else in the Rumble is trying to stop him but not one has been able to slow him down at all. The only difference here: the fans were eating this stuff up with a spoon.
Royal Rumble
Cactus Jack is #1 and Chainsaw Charlie (Terry Funk) is #2. The intervals are supposed to be two minutes again this year but they would wind up being closer to 90 seconds. Terry brings his chainsaw into the ring so Cactus throws in a bunch of chairs. The referee finally gets the saw out and they pound on each other with chairs. Cactus hits Funk in the head with one, then hands the chair to Funk so he can return the favor. These two aren’t exactly normal if you didn’t catch that.
Tom Brandi is #3 and lasts about ten seconds. Terry punches Jack down but can’t piledrive him on a chair. Cactus suplexes him through two chairs but can’t put him out. Rock is #4 and both hardcore guys are down. Rock pounds on Terry in the corner but Cactus blasts him with a trashcan and the double beating begins. Cactus puts the can over Rock’s head and they pound away on him, knocking him through the ropes and out to the floor. Funk hits Cactus low as Mosh is #5.
Mosh and Funk pair off as do the other two guys. Funk (the announcers are calling him that too) tries a moonsault but it winds up being more of a headbutt than a splash. Phineas Godwinn is #6 and helps Rock beat up Mosh. Not much happens for a bit until 8-Ball of the DOA is #7. Jack misses a charge and Funk backdrops him out to empty the ring out a bit. Apparently someone who might have been Ken Shamrock has attacked Austin.
Funk barely hangs onto the rope to avoid elimination until Blackjack Bradshaw (yes that Bradshaw) is #8 and looking as muscular as you’ll ever see him look. We talk about Mike Tyson while things slow down a bit until Owen Hart is #9. Jeff Jarrett, the NWA North American Champion at the time in a strange invasion angle, attacks Owen on his way in. Yeah this is what Owen gets for not bolting to WCW after the Montreal Screwjob. Yes I know he was under contract but you know Vince couldn’t hold him to it in that situation. Hart can’t get in the ring yet.
Steve Blackman is #10 and he has a hairy chest. 8-Ball piledrives Funk as there are way too many guys in the ring right now. Since people seem content to just tease eliminations on the ropes, no one is eliminated until D’Lo Brown is #11. Rock DESTROYS Blackman in the corner before getting in a fight with his Nation teammate D’Lo. Kurrgan, still a psycho monster at this point, is #12.
Thankfully he gets rid of some people like Mosh and….that’s about it for now. Dang it clear the ring out a little bit already. You’re a monster Kurrgan. Go destroy some villager. Marc Mero is #13, giving us a pop for Sable. Mero pounds away on Blackman in the corner but Kurrgan dumps Steve. Bradshaw pounds on Kurrgan as Rock teases not stomping his teammate before kicking away.
Ken Shamrock is #14 and he immediately kicks Kurrgan down. A big gang takes out Kurrgan as Rock hits the People’s Elbow (not yet named) on Funk. Thrasher is #15, giving us Funk, Rock, Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, Owen (not in the ring), Brown, Mero, Shamrock and Thrasher, or as they’re collectively known, WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE. Still nothing happens and Mankind is #16, confusing the announcers and immediately punching Funk out.
Shamrock finally gets his hands on the Rock as Mero asks Sable for praise. Goldust is #17 in a silver bodysuit with a thong painted on. A minute or so later he puts out Mankind but there are still way too many people out there. Jeff Jarrett is #18 and Owen runs in to beat him down. A spinwheel kick puts Jeff down, followed by Owen skinning the cat and dumping Jeff. Honky Tonk Man is #19 as HHH (on crutches) and Chyna come to the ring. Rock dumps Shamrock to complete Ken’s humiliation tonight.
HHH gets on the apron and cracks Owen with his crutch to knock Hart out as well. Ahmed Johnson is #20, looking as bored as I can remember a wrestler looking in a long time. WAY too many people in the ring again. Mark Henry of the Nation is #21 and JR says Henry is “handling the big Johnson.” There’s no #22 which was supposed to be Skull, but he was jumped earlier remember.
Johnson is dumped out and he still doesn’t look like he cares. He would be gone next month anyway. Phineas is out after a ridiculous 28 minutes. On top of being in too long, he accidentally kicks a referee in the head on the way down, giving him a legit concussion. Kama Mustafa is #23 to give the Nation four members at the moment. We’re just waiting for Austin at this point.
FINALLY the glass shatters at #24 and the roof goes off the place. Austin comes in through the crowd because he’s got ten people waiting on him as he comes in. There go Mero and 8-Ball and things slow down AGAIN, because we need at least ten people in the match at all times for some reason. Henry Godwinn is #25 and nothing happens. Savio Vega is #26, but since we STILL don’t have enough people in the ring at the moment, he brings in the other three Boricuas to beat on Austin.
Thankfully Austin beats them out quickly but doesn’t eliminate anyone. Faarooq is #27 to give us the entire Nation in the ring. He goes right for the other Nation members though as his face turn continues. Not that anyone cares mind you but he is indeed turning. Austin and Rock tumble through the ropes through the floor to brawl a bit because that’s what those two guys do.
Dude Love is #28 to complete the running joke of the match. He immediately puts out Bradshaw as Goldust is on the floor but not eliminated. You can’t see most of the mat because of how many people are in the ring at the moment. Austin pounds on Rock even more with Rock falling to the floor again. Chainz of DOA is #29 as Faarooq puts Brown out. More brawling ensues until Vader completes the field at #30. This gives us a final group of….hang on I need a breath first…..Rock, Thrasher, Goldust, Honky Tonk Man, Mark Henry, Kama, Austin, Henry Godwinn, Vega, Faarooq, Dude Love, Chainz and Vader, or THIRTEEN PEOPLE.
Vader immediately pounds on Goldust and dumps Honky a few seconds later. Austin dumps Thrasher after an insanely too long 28 minutes. Austin puts out Kama to finally clear the ring out a bit. There goes Vega at Austin’s hands as well before Goldust dumps Vader. Godwinn goes out as well before Faarooq puts out Henry. We’re down to Rock, Austin, Love and Faarooq as Chainz was put out by Austin off camera.
The Nation members are thrown together and Rock gets hit by Sweet Shin Music and the double arm DDT. Austin hits Dude low and Faarooq throws Love out. Rock puts out Faarooq to give us Austin vs. Rock. They slug it out and Rock is thrown to the apron. Austin is fine with Stunning him and throwing him out to go on to Wrestlemania where he would claim his destiny.
Rating: D+. Austin was awesome as he always was in 1998, but the rest of this match pretty much sucked. As I said over and over, there were way too many people in there for the most part. Also you had WAY too many people getting time they didn’t deserve. I mean did anyone need to see Phineas, 8-Ball, Bradshaw, D’Lo Brown and Thrasher all getting over 28 minutes? Not much to see here other than Austin and Foley’s funny bit.
Tyson celebrates “Cole Stone” Steve Austin winning the Rumble.
We recap Shawn vs. Undertaker. Basically they feuded extensively in the fall but then after Montreal, Shawn didn’t want to face Owen for a fear of him trying to legit hurt him. Therefore they rehashed Undertaker vs. Shawn for the title here in a casket match. Most of the video here is about the first Cell match, which is still amazing stuff. Oh and one more thing: DX (still just three people at this point) attacked Taker on Raw but Kane had saved his brother, uniting with him for the first time ever. That was six days ago, and remember that a certain Vince Russo is booking.
WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Like I said, Shawn is defending and this is a casket match. Taker throwing the lights back on makes Shawn jump out of the ring. It’s a brawl to start and Taker immediately grabs Shawn by the throat. Shawn punches his way out of it but jumps into another choke by Taker. An attempt at putting Michaels in the casket doesn’t work, but a backdrop that put Michaels out of action for four and a half years by slamming his spine onto the casket does work.
Shawn slowly gets up and is kicked into the casket but he immediately bounces out. We head back in with Taker missing an elbow but hitting Old School. Shawn gets whipped into the corner for the Flair Flip to the floor, which is probably the last move he needed to do at this point. Back in and Shawn dives into a powerslam but Taker still can’t slam the lid shut. Shawn comes out throwing powder and manages to get a breather. Taker is sent knees first into the steps and Shawn smashes the challenger’s back with the steps.
A piledriver on the steps actually works for Shawn but he’s got a broken back and can’t follow up. HHH whacks Taker with the crutch (where is Owen if he’s so angry?) as Shawn stays in full control. Back in and a jumping back elbow puts Taker down but he fights out of the casket. Shawn neckbreakers Taker before putting on a sleeper which is eventually countered into a Saito Suplex.
The forearm from Shawn sets up the nipup which sets up the top rope elbow. He must be either high as a kite on painkillers or on a huge adrenaline rush to be able to have a match like this at this point. The superkick knocks Taker out cold but Shawn is Shawn and stops for a crotch chop. Taker grabs him by the balls and we head back inside for the beating Shawn deserves. Another Flair Flip sets up the big boot, but Taker misses a clothesline and lands in the casket.
Shawn drops an elbow into the casket, closing the lid on both guys. Cool spot actually. Shawn crawls out but in a semi famous shot, Taker pulls him back into the casket, closing it with both guys inside again. Back in and Undertaker hits one of the biggest chokeslams he’s ever hit followed by a JUMPING TOMBSTONE into the casket. The Outlaws and the Boricuas run in as we reenact Royal Rumble 1994, but here comes Kane to save the day. By save the day, naturally I mean turn on Undertaker and shut him in the casket to keep the title on Shawn and end the match.
Rating: B. Considering Shawn’s back was literally broken in half during the match, this is a pretty awesome fight. When Taker gets ticked off and wants to hurt somebody, he can lay a beating out like few others in the world. Shawn struggling through a match in this condition is nothing short of great, and the fact that he survived Wrestlemania like this as well is perhaps the greatest physical accomplishment of all time.
Post match Kane nails the casket shut and hacks at it with an ax. He pours gasoline inside and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE to end the show. Taker of course would disappear from the casket once it was opened up.
Overall Rating: D. Good main event aside, this was a REALLY dull show overall. 1998 would wind up being an awesome year, but this wasn’t the best start to it in the world. We saw a lot of the relics of the bad times here, but Austin was coming and there was absolutely nothing WCW could do to stop him. This wasn’t a good show at all, but it was a necessary evil to get us to the glory days.
Ratings Comparison
Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust
Original: B-
Redo: D
Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula
Next up is a guy that could have been a big deal in TNA if they didn’t screw things up as usual: Hernandez.
The future SuperMex got started in 1996 in Texas, so here he is in the WWF as a jobber in November 2000 on the syndicated weekend show Jakked.
Crash vs. Shawn Hernandez
Crash takes him down with a headlock to start as the announcers are already ignoring the match. A powerslam gets two for Hernandez and he whips Crash hard into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit as this has been almost all Hernandez so far. Back up and they collide to put both guys down. It’s Crash up first with right hands and a missile dropkick before a Bodog is good for the pin.
Rating: D+. I’ve seen worse. Hernandez got to show off a bit here but wound up being the jobber that he was supposed to be near the end. Crash was an odd character around this time as the hardcore division had moved on from his zaniness (yes I said zaniness), leaving him as just a small guy without anything to do.
Hotstuff Hernandez vs. Young Pioneers
Handicap match. The Pioneers are apparently named Eagle and Cub and yes they’re scouts. First we get the owners of the promotion to yell into the camera. I can’t exactly understand them but they are in fact shouting. The scouts offer a handshake to start but get flipped off. A double clothesline puts both of them down as the “TexMex T-Rex” takes over which the announcer calls a merit badge in pain.
Cub is quickly thrown out to the floor and the Cracker Jack (overhead choke throw) sends Eagle flying. The other announcer throws bananas at Hernandez so Hernandez throws the Eagle onto Cub. Some double teaming actually has Hernandez in trouble but Eagle gets crotched on top, setting up a super Border Toss for the pin.
Rating: D. Total squash here but there’s something cool to see about Hernandez just throwing people all over the place. I don’t mind the Pioneers gimmick actually as it’s something I haven’t seen before, even though it has a grand total of zero potential. Dull match but Hernandez looked like a monster.
We’ll jump ahead to TNA now with Hernandez at Victory Road 2006.
Rating: C. Just a tag match here as we’re 45 minutes into this show and nothing has stood out at all yet. LAX is getting a push here which I guess is fine. They would get the titles in a few months and hold them for all of a month, showing once again that brilliant TNA booking. These tag matches so far have been glorified squashes. I’m not sure I get the point.
More LAX at Against All Odds 2007.
Team 3D vs. LAX
LAX has the titles but this is non-title. There are tables in the ring like at a stereotypical Italian restaurant. LAX comes from under the ring while Konnan is being wheeled out and jumps 3D to open things up. All LAX to start with Hernandez cracking D-Von with a chair and both of them hitting dives. Scratch that as Hernandez gets popped with a chair on the landing to give 3D the advantage.
For some reason there are cage kind of things with dancing girls in them at ringside. Ok then. Ray catches a diving Homicide and hits a fallaway slam onto the ramp. And now Ray gets the girls from the cages put onto his lap. Ok then. All LAX here as D-Von gets double teamed. Homicide brings in a trashcan complete with trash. He finds a pizza cutter and D-Von gets carved up.
Ray counters with a cheese grater which cuts up Homicide so Ray can lick the blood. The “Latino Nation” (read as guys in white undershirts and bandanas) come in for a beatdown but 3D fights them off. What’s Up to Homicide. It’s table time but they load up What’s Up on Hernandez, only to have D-Von dive on the Latino Nation guys instead. Hernandez fights back and hits a spinebuster to Bubba through the table. A top rope elbow from Homicide gets two. Saving Grace gets two for D-Von (the reverse inverted DDT) and his face is covered in blood. The Latino Nation blocks a superplex and the Border Toss pins D-Von.
Rating: C-. Just a standard hardcore brawl with a lot of blood. I don’t get the appeal of these but I’m sure they have an audience. Nothing happened as far as the titles until Lockdown where 3D got them off of LAX. LAX was supposed to be this huge deal but I never really got what was all that great about them. They were certainly good but I didn’t get the mass appeal.
We’ve reached the point where there’s no one left to beat up so it’s time for a makeshift team at Slammiversary 2007.
LAX vs. Rhyno/Senshi
LAX had dominated the company in 07 and this is Senshi (Kaval) and Rhyno’s first time teaming together. The camera seems a bit lower than usual. Maybe it’s a venue thing. Hector Guerrero is with Senshi/Rhyno because Konnan has been blaming him for LAX losing the tag belts. Rhyno and Homicide start us off and a powerbomb is messed up, sending Homicide to the floor I think by mistake.
Off to Senshi who steps onto the bottom rope to get in. Hernandez comes in and Senshi manages to get out of the way to preserve his life. He goes after SuperMex’s leg which doesn’t really do much at all. LAX can’t get anything going here and never mind that as Hernandez picks Senshi up and LAUNCHES him across the ring. I mean that man was airborne. It looked incredible.
Back to Homicide as LAX takes over and beats on Senshi. Rhyno hasn’t really done much so far but I guess they’re saving him for the big hot tag at the end. To be fair he’s good at the big explosive comebacks so I can live with that one. Hernandez throws Senshi around again but a powerbomb is countered and Senshi manages to hit the double stomp to set up the aforementioned hot tag. Rhyno throws everyone around and Hernandez goes to the floor. Senshi hits a HUGE dive to take him out but Homicide hits a cutter on Rhyno. Konnan and Hector get involved, allowing Rhyno to gore Homicide for the pin.
Rating: B-. Fun opener here and the high spots were VERY high. That’s how you open a show as the crowd is now really fired up and it’s due to the proper pacing of a tag match. On top of that, they kept it relatively short (8 minutes or so) which is the idea for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it quite a bit.
Time to face a legendary team at Hard Justice 2007.
Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. LAX
Just a tag match here. LAX are the good guys here. The fans chant DX rejects for some reason. I mean, they were in DX but rejects? Really? Do TNA fans really think that the HBK/HHH version counts as a major DX incarnation? And they call themselves smart fans. Wow. Kip James (Billy Gunn) looks like he belongs back in Billy and Chuck.
BG (Road Dogg) works over Homicide as we hear about the Steiners being in action later tonight against Team 3D. It’s a dream match, but at the same time the Steiners are old at this point so how dreamy is it? Kip hooks a bearhug on Homicide as I can’t see this match lasting long. Partially that’s because I looked at the match time but ignore that part for now.
The bearhug goes on for awhile as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez. I don’t get why they didn’t just make the modern version of Mexican America into LAX 2.0. I mean, it is LAX 2.0 but why not just call it that? Here’s Hernandez who cleans house and everything breaks down. Roxxi gets up on the apron to throw something in Hernandez’s eyes. A Fameasser gets the pin. Well it was more like he jumped and then Hernandez fell over but whatever.
Rating: D+. Whatever man. This was like an Impact match but we just had to have it here for some reason. Nothing to see here which is what happens when one guy holds the tag titles and is in the main event in a singles match. The Mafia didn’t mean anything at this point and the fans’ reaction to them seems to prove that.
Three way tag from Destination X 2008.
LAX vs. Motor City Machine Guns vs. Rock N Rave Infection
The winners are #1 contenders for Styles and Tomko. Christy Hemme isn’t human. She can’t be. Wow it’s weird to think that the Guns are the reigning tag champions as I’m typing this. We hear about how they’ve never won the belts. They wouldn’t for over two years. That’s pretty sad. We keep hearing about should Earl Hebner’s vote be changed by Jim Cornette. Don’t worry about what it was or anything.
Sabin and Homicide start. Dang the Guns are fun to watch. Hernandez gets a LONG suplex on Lance Hoyt (Vance Archer). This match is kind of a mess but not entirely. Hernandez does the Undertaker Dive which isn’t as good as Taker’s but still looked good. Shelley takes two amigos and the third is him into a backbreaker from SuperMex.
LAX is dominating here and they’re likely the best team at this point so they’re getting that right. We then see why Rock and Rave never went anywhere as Rock hits the worst clothesline this side of Donald Trump to put Shelley down. A very slow moonsault misses though but no hot tag. Hernandez comes in again and cleans house with some not very good power moves. They crank things up again and with everyone on the floor, Rave takes the Border Toss to end it for LAX.
Rating: B-. PERFECT choice for the opener here. They were flying all over the place and things were definitely fun here. The fans are into it now and things are going very well. That being said, the rest of things are probably going to all be downhill from here as the rest of the card has a tendency to go downhill after the first match. This did a good job of not going insane with just a big mess all over which is rare. This was good.
LAX made the finals of the Deuces Wild Tag Team Tournament at Sacrifice 2008.
Tag Titles: LAX vs. Team 3D
Wow the top face team is facing the top heel team in the finals. Who saw this coming? We get little clips talking about how each team got here. 3D gets in Hector’s face so Homicide gets a running start and takes Bubba out with a tope con hilo. It’s a brawl on the ramp to start with no one really having a distinct advantage. I’m not sure if this is part of the match or not.
Ray gets in some weak weapon shots and sends Hernandez into the steps. No one has been in the ring yet. Ok now we do have people in there with D-Von vs. Homicide and the bell finally rings after about three minutes of brawling. D-Von is sent to the floor almost immediately but Ray shoves Homicide off the top to prevent a dive. The fans chant 187 as the Dudleys control.
Delayed vertical gets two for D-Von. Ray throws on a triangle choke/head scissors as again we’re waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez to do the dominating. Tenay says Team 3D is taking advantage of a situation here. Well yeah, just like any team would do. There’s the tag to Hernandez and we go old school with a double noggin knocker. He puts them both on the floor with a double dropkick and then hits a huge dive.
Devine is here again and he pulls out a table. Hector comes around and the power of Lazertron puts Devine down. Hector goes up top and jumps through Devine and the table which more or less was a dropkick while a guy was on the table. It was weird but the guy is retired. Back in the ring Hernandez takes a superplex and a top rope headbutt for two. 3D gets two on Homicide because D-Von let him up. Oh ok he wasn’t legal. Homicide hits something like a rana off the top (after being down for maybe 8 seconds off a 3D). D-Von goes up top and gets caught in a Border Toss and a frog splash for the pin and the titles.
Rating: C+. Fun brawl but the tournament took forever to get here. It wasn’t bad or anything but it’s the third time tonight we’ve seen these teams. You can only get so into them here which is the problem that these one night tournaments have. The final was probably the best match but not by all that much.
Here’s an elimination tag from Genesis 2009.
Sonjay Dutt/Jimmy Rave/Kiyoshi vs. Eric Young/LAX
We hear that Christy Hemme is more or less done forever due to a neck injury. She came back briefly but it didn’t last. Young is listed from Nashville. We get a replacement match with 6 Knockouts since Hemme is hurt. This is before Hernandez got his big push. Rhyno isn’t here yet either. This match wasn’t announced. They’re just throwing all these things at us so sorry for the rapid fire stuff. That was more or less in real time.
It’s weird seeing them at more of a real arena than a sound stage where wrestling is held. Dutt and Homicide start us off. It’s weird to think that this was just a year and a half ago. Young is the happy face and not crazy here. Hernandez has the world title case at this point but would use it in like 6 months. SICK slingshot shoulder block by Hernandez to take out Kiyoshi.
Even the announcers say this isn’t a serious match for the most part. Kiyoshi has paint on his face that looks like blood. And now let’s take the focus off the match completely as Jim Cornette is knocking on the door of the Mafia’s dressing room. Well at least it didn’t last long. I’ve never been a fan of this break neck speed style of programming. Scratch that to a degree actually as it can work but I still see no excuse to do it during a match. It comes off as disrespectful to the guys out there performing.
Kiyoshi is Muta’s partner, which is the explanation for the pain. It reminded me of Muta so that fits really well. Hot tag to Young and it goes nuts. Everyone goes flying with all kinds of dives and a pair of tope con hilos. Sweet stuff. Young throws Rave back in for two and we’re back to normal now.
Scratch that normal thing as everyone is in and it’s a huge mess. Fun stuff here so far. Cornette is STILL trying to get in the dressing room. See, that’s what I mean. We have a fast paced tag match that I’m getting into and we cut to Cornette pounding on a door. Wait this is elimination? That’s something we hear 10+ minutes into a match. Dutt puts his feet on the ropes to get rid of Young.
Rave’s look reminds me of Christian when he started in WWF. He uses tights to get rid of Homicide, and now it’s Hernandez vs. the heels. Methinks a squash is coming. I love how he just plows through people. Naturally, Hernandez and his MUSTACHE OF AWESOMENESS just massacres them. Border Toss gets rid of Kiyoshi. BIG OLD sitout powerbomb ends Dutt. HUGE freaking splash off the top ends Rave. That was impressive.
Rating: B-. Fun match but I question the elimination style mixing with the six man. If you want to do a six man then do a six man and if you want to have Hernandez dominate three guys then have Hernandez dominate three guys. Having Homicide and Young in there just cluttered things up, but it was still very fun and a great choice for an opener. Hernandez was indeed awesome and then they threw him in a nonsense tag team with Morgan. I still don’t get that one.
Hernandez had won a Feast or Fired briefcase for a World Title shot. First up though, No Surrender 2009.
EricYoungvs. Hernandez
Hernandez has a Feast or Fired case which is more or less MITB. Young is in a suit and doesn’t fight back. Hernandez destroys him in less than a minute with the Border Toss. Clearly this needed to be on PPV right?
Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling it here for the most part as they kept going back and forth two at a time which got rather boring after awhile. The ending was fine I guess as it set up Sting vs. AJ at BFG in a respect match, but the rest was pretty dull. The Hernandez aspect was such a waste but no one ever accused TNA of thinking these things through did they?
Back to the midcard at Bound For Glory 2009.
Legends Title: Kevin Nash vs. Eric Young vs. Hernandez
Hernandez runs them over to start and sends Young flying out to the floor. All three go to the ramp and slug it out with Hernandez getting double teamed to slow him down. SuperMex will have none of that and nails Nash before hits a backbreaker on Young. Nash finally gets back up and drives knees in to Hernandez’s ribs. Eric is willing to come in and get a few shots of his own as this is turning into a handicap match.
Hernandez fights back again but Nash breaks up a suplex on Young. The fans are all over Young as he helps Nash with the boot choke in the corner. A back elbow stops another Hernandez comeback and Young tries to steal the pin, which doesn’t seem to be in the plan. Things calm down and Nash hammers on Hernandez in the corner. Hernandez somehow pulls himself to the top and hits a missile dropkick to put Nash down. SuperMex tries to clean house but Nash knocks him face first into the middle buckle.
Another double team is broken up and Nash is down, leaving Young to get caught in midair for a sitout powerbomb and two. Back up and Nash misses a clothesline, allowing Hernandez to dive over the top to take Young down. Eric comes back in and drops a top rope elbow on Hernandez before lowering Nash’s straps for him. Young picks up Hernandez and throws him head first into Nash’s crotch, allowing Eric to dive in and get the pin for the title. Nash’s shoulder was about a foot off the mat.
Rating: C+. I liked this more than I thought I would with a good formula and a nice swerve at the end. They had to get the title on Young somehow due to how much heat he had and that was as good a way as any other. Nice little match here and Nash going after the money is perfect for him.
Hernandez would get back into the tag team scene with Matt Morgan. Here they are at Genesis 2010.
Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Hernandez/Matt Morgan
The stupidity of just putting two big names like these guys into a team astounds me but whatever. If nothing else they’re most likely getting the tag titles off of the worthless British Invasion, although putting them on two guys thrown together and called a tag team? That’s nothing WWE would ever do, nope.
Hernandez is wearing a shirt here so it looks like he’s wrestling in a one piece swimsuit. It’s fairly obvious that we’re getting new champions here but at least they’re giving us a bit of drama first and letting the Invasion have some credibility. The problem here is that other than Williams we have three power guys and Williams isn’t in the match much either. Oh and Nick Hogan is here too. This is idiotic at this point.
They make fun of the vintage joke, because no one has ever done that before. Williams gets a jumping back elbow from the top which makes this a much better match already. Morgan FINALLY hits the freaking chokeslam that he’s been trying to get all match. The problem with this match is apparent as either face is able to beat up both champions on his own. What’s the point of something like that? The bicycle kick from Morgan hits and it’s so hard that Magnus jumped before it connected. That’s very impressive and it gives Hernandez and Morgan the titles.
Rating: C. This was average. The title change was more or less a given and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Sometimes you have to have it go one way or the other and that’s what this did here. It’s not bad but it was more of a formality than anything else and it came off pretty well.
Then they split and fought at Victory Road 2010.
Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez
This is a cage match with escape only rules. I like the look of the cage. Hernandez is freaky in all definitions of the word. Has steel ever been forgiving? In a match based around revenge, Morgan is dominating. I really can’t stand TNA at times. The crowd has been oddly dead for the majority of the match. Hernandez gets on the top and Morgan hits the Carbon Footprint.
This is ALL Morgan. He gets a foot out the door and then just comes back in. To be fair he’s a great heel, but this goes completely against the whole Morgan runs from Supermex and Hernandez wanting revenge that has been built up for months. Hernandez is busted open. We FINALLY get the comeback and his eyes look like he’s coked out of his mind. Hernandez can’t do the Border Toss so he tries it and of course botches it again. At least it came off looking like a power bomb.
He goes up top, as in top of the cage, and misses a splash on Morgan. Blueprint has handcuffs and Hernandez is caught. What is up with Russo’s obsession with handcuffs? Ok that’s not fair as they’ve been used for years. He just breaks them off as Morgan is climbing down and rams his head through the door to get out. So after all that, Hernandez just escapes with no real revenge. Sure why not?
Rating: D+. The psychology didn’t exist, Hernandez doesn’t gain anything, the ending is illogical, Hernandez looks weak and nothing is really solved. This was completely backwards and didn’t go anywhere at all. Not a horrible match, but just something that should have been far different and far better. Time for a new partner named Anarquia. From Impact on August 18, 2011.
Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America
The Jarretts are on commentary here. This is billed as the final showdown. The champs take over to start as Jeff talks about Mexico and is way funnier than he should be, especially given what he’s talking about. Hernandez gets a shot in on Storm and takes over, also getting two. Off to Anarquia who gets two off a double shoulder block.
Jeff and Karen are shocked that Tenay speaks so highly of the Guerreros. He accuses Hector of having some cerveza as Storm gets a shot in on Anarquia but Hernandez breaks up the tag. Border Toss is countered into a Codebreaker and here’s Roode off the hot tag. Blockbuster gets two. Angle has accepted Crimson’s challenge. Beer Money hits a slingshot into a DDT on Anarquia.
Double suplex puts Hernandez down and LET’S SHOUT OUR NAMES! Rosita comes in and spits beer in Storm’s face which doesn’t work for some reason here. They go after her and Karen bounces down to ringside. Jeff comes down as well and the distraction lets Hernandez get a shot to the head of Roode with the AAA belt and the Mexicans win the titles at 7:25.
Rating: C. Match wasn’t bad and they really needed to dot he title switch here. Beer Money had held the titles forever and the switch is the right thing here, especially with the Jarrett Mexican Champion thing going on. Not a great match or anything but it accomplished the goal that it needed to, which is really all you can ask for here.
Here’s a singles match from Slammiversary 2012.
Kid Kash vs. Hernandez
For the life of me I don’t get why this is on the card. When was the last time either of these guys was on TV at all? Kash tries to speed things up but he gets run over with ease and knocked to the floor. Hernandez throws Kash around with ease so Kash bites him on the nose. He hooks an armbreaker on SuperMex which is broken pretty quickly.
We get a bad looking sequence with Kash not really selling a clothesline and then BADLY botching a rana. Tornado DDT puts Hernandez down but he pops up and hits the slingshot shoulder to put both guys down. Kash heads to the floor so Hernandez dives over the top to crush him. I miss that spot from him. Border Toss is escaped so Hernandez goes up, shoves Kash off and hits a top rope splash for the pin at 5:52.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible but what in the world was the point of this? There were no other people that they could have put out there for this? Hernandez hasn’t been on TV as a singles guy in months and Kash shouldn’t be on TV ever for my money, so I don’t know why this match was taking place at all. Odd choice and it wasn’t anything good either.
That team wouldn’t go anywhere but a new partnership with Chavo would have some more success. From Bound For Glory 2012.
Tag Team Titles: Bad Influence vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Kurt Angle/AJ Styles
These teams have feuded over the titles all summer. Styles and Chavo get things going with Chavo getting two off a shoulder block. AJ takes him into the corner for the tag off to Angle and a nice reaction from the crowd. Kurt hammers away but Daniels tags himself in to take over on AJ. A fast series of tags gives us Hernandez suplexing AJ before Chavo gets two off a slingshot hilo.
Kaz tags himself in but walks into the drop down into the dropkick. Styles brings in Angle who gets driven into the corner, allowing Chavo to come in and work over Kaz in the corner. Chavo brings in Herenadnez for the over the shoulder backbreaker and it’s quickly off to Daniels vs. Styles. Daniels avoids a charge in the corner and Kaz nails a hard clothesline from the apron. Off to Kaz for a slingshot legdrop and a pelvic thrust at Guerrero and Hernandez.
Daniels hiptosses Daniels on AJ for two and we hit a full nelson on the mat. Back up and AJ escapes a monkey flip but avoids a tag from Hernandez and Chavo so he can Pele Kaz down. A double tag brings in Daniels and Angle with Kurt cleaning house. Kaz gets caught in rolling Germans but Daniels climbs his partner for a sunset flip, only to be countered into an ankle lock. Angle misses a charge into the corner but belly to bellies Kaz into Daniels for two.
Chavo and Hernandez are knocked back to the floor so Kaz can hit the slingshot DDT on Angle. Hernandez runs in and knocks Kaz across the ring, only to have AJ knock SuperMex across the ring. Daniels moonsaults out to take out Angle but turns around into a huge dive from Hernandez. AJ isn’t about to be one upped so he fakes a dive onto Guerrero and dives onto Hernandez and Bad Influence for a huge crash. Back in and Chavo tries the Three Amigos on Angle but gets caught in the Angle Slam.
Hernandez breaks up the moonsault and sets for the Border Toss, only to have AJ tag himself in and save his partner. Kurt misses a charge and falls out to the floor, allowing Kaz to slam Styles down. The BME gets two on AJ and Daniels is STUNNED. Chavo dives out to the floor to take Kaz out as AJ escapes Angel’s Wings and nails the moonsault reverse DDT on Daniels. Hernandez tags himself in and drills Daniels with a slingshot shoulder followed by the Border Toss and Frog Splash from Chavo for the pin and the titles.
Rating: B. This was a fun and fast paced three way but unfortunately it would start one of the least interesting title reigns in recorded history. Guerrero and Hernandez were really good in the ring but man alive would they drive things into the ground during their promos. The match was really awesome stuff though with some great spots and saves but it never got to that highest level.
We’ll wrap it up on Impact, April 11, 2013.
Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries
Roode and Aries are defending and if they win, Chavo and Hernandez can never team again. This is also 2/3 falls. The challengers have a boxing legend whose name I couldn’t catch here with them, carrying a Texas flag. The champions jump the challengers as they get the boxer a seat and the brawl is on fast. Roode sends Aries into the corner to dropkick Chavo, who stumbles into a a Roode spinebuster for the first fall at 35 seconds.
Aries immediately tries a Frog Splash on Chavo but only hits mat, letting Chavo hit a quick rollup to tie things up at 1:38. Aries pounds away on Chavo but it’s Roode hitting a big slam for two. A slingshot hilo by Aries keeps Chavo in trouble and a Ted DiBiase fist drop gets two. Back to Roode who escapes a tornado DDT but gets caught by a Chavo dropkick. Hernandez is nowhere to be seen though as he was sent into the steps in the pre-match attack.
Actually scratch that as he’s back up and gets the tag to clean house. A gorilla press puts Aries down and there’s the big running charge down the ramp to jump back into the ring for a double clothesline to take the champions down. We take a break and come back with Aries diving off the top onto Hernandez for two. We get a long shot of the Spanish announcers as Roode hooks a quick chinlock followed by a necksnap, setting up a middle rope elbow to the back of Hernandez’s neck by Aries.
Hernandez finally comes back with a double clothesline to put the champions down and there’s the hot tag to Chavo. He comes in with a slingshot hilo to Roode and a headscissors sends Bobby to the outside. Chavo hits a big dive onto Aries and Roode for a near fall back inside. There are two Amigos to Aries and three of them for Roode. Aries breaks up the Frog Splash and Roode gets a rollup for two. Off to the Crossface on Chavo but Hernandez breaks it up. Hernandez tries another dive but takes out Chavo by mistake.
Roode only gets two from the mistake but there’s a HARD dropkick in the corner from Aries. The spinebuster is countered into a DDT but Austin makes another save at two. Aries loads up a superplex but Hernandez pulls him off into Border Toss position. The champions have a double suplex countered and Chavo hits the Frog Splash onto Roode for the pin and the titles at 15:13.
Rating: B. As is the case with every match the new champions have, it was entertaining but it does nothing for me because they’re so ridiculously uninteresting. I was hoping for the titles to stay on Roode/Aries here, but we have to appease the Texas crowd right, because Texas is AWESOME.
Hernandez is a beast who can fly all over the place, which is amazing for someone his size. He never quite got a huge push as a singles guy but it seemed like TNA wanted to try it more than once. However he did have an awesome run as a tag guy, winning titles with several partners. Some of the power stuff he’s done was insane and well worth seeing if you want your eyes to pop.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Today is one of those gimmick characters: Henry Godwinn the hog farmer.
Godwinn started up in the late 80s and his first big break came in 1993 when he debuted with WCW as Shanghai Pearce. We’ll start things off at Beach Blast 1993.
Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce vs. Marcus Bagwell/2 Cold Scorpio
The heels are more commonly known as the Godwinns. The faces are another young team that wasn’t very good but they were allegedly really good so they got the tag titles at least once. Bagwell was finally shedding the rookie status but he was still just annoying as all goodness. Scorpio was a guy that was always good but always jumped around a lot. The Godwinns are just big and annoying as all goodness.
This is ok stuff but it’s really just a way to put the faces over and get them a win on PPV. There’s almost nothing of note here as this could be on any television show that you cared to name. Just nothing interesting here as it’s standard formula stuff with Bagwell being beaten on until he makes a tag them Scorpio is beaten on before another tag to Bagwell so Scorpio, the illegal man, can hit his top rope stuff for the pin.
Rating: D+. Just boring as heck here with nothing of note going on. This is the biggest problem that most PPVs have: matches that belong on TV being put on PPV where you have to pay for them. I don’t want to pay for bad matches like this one, so why should I have to in order to see the rest of the card?
Next up is Fall Brawl 1993.
Shanghai Pierce vs. Ice Train
Pierce has Tex Slazenger with him. They would move to the WWF in about a year and become the Godwins. Ice Train is more or less Big Zeke but with even less talent. I always liked him for some reason. Oh and Pierce is in a mask. They’re from Texas but are being booed anyway which is appropriate somehow. Power vs. power here with Train being the stronger of the two.
This is one of the least interesting matches I’ve seen in a very long time. Basically imagine every power vs. power cliché you can think of and add in some heel lariats and you more or less have the entire match. The heels try to use a bullrope but he runs right through it and a bad powerslam ends it. This was nothing. No rating as I have nothing to say about it at all. Let that sink in for a bit.
One last WCW match at Starrcade 1993.
Cactus Jack/Maxx Payne vs. Tex Slazenger/Shanghai Pierce
Payne is a grunge rocker while Slazenger and Pierce are big Texans with Pierce wearing a mask. They would wind up in the WWF as the Godwinns if you remember them. Cactus is fresh off a world title feud with Vader and is one of the hottest stars in the company. Payne and Shanghai get things going and collide in the middle of the ring, sending both guys staggering back a bit. Pierce takes him down with a running shoulder block and let’s stop to look at each other.
Maxx slams him down, causing Shanghai to bring in Tex. Jack gets the tag as well and they stare at each other a bit more. Cactus takes him into the corner but walks into a right hand to slow him down again. A boot to Tex’s head puts him down again and it’s back to Payne. Maxx hits a BIG clothesline to take Slazenger down as the match continues plodding along. Tex charges out of the corner and hits a kind of bulldog to take Maxx down. Off to Shanghai who is immediately caught in a belly to back suplex for no cover.
Back to Cactus who pounds Pierce down before charging into the heel corner. Everything breaks down and the Cactus Clothesline puts Jack and Pierce on the floor again. Slazenger goes over the top to the floor as well, so Payne backdrops the 300lb Jack over the top onto Tex. Back in the ring and Maxx puts on the Payne Killer armbar but Tex makes the save. A double clothesline puts the Texans down and it’s back to Cactus. He ducks a Pierce clothesline which winds up hitting Tex, allowing Cactus to hit his double arm DDT on Pierce for the pin.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t horrible and it was a step above the other tag match, but man alive this show isn’t doing anything well right now. These four guys are all big and mostly slow, which made for a dull and slow match here. Cactus was insanely popular though and kept the crowd interested in the match for the most part.
It’s off to the WWF now, starting at In Your House II.
Henry Godwinn vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Henry is an associate of DiBiase but not a full member of the Million Dollar Team. Bigelow runs him over to start and catches him in a belly to back suplex to take over. Another belly to back sets up a shoulder block to send Henry out to the floor. Back in and a DDT drops Godwinn again but he low bridges Bigelow to the floor. You can easily see the lack of effort or interest from either guy here.
Henry slams Bigelow on the floor before a clothesline gets two for Godwinn back inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Henry grabs the slop bucket. That goes nowhere so here’s even more choking as the match just keeps going. A slam gets two on Bam Bam but he comes back with some slow motion headbutts. Bigelow misses a top rope headbutt but avoids a middle rope knee drop before quickly pinning Henry. I’m pretty sure that was a legit injury, leading to the fast pin.
Rating: F. If they don’t care, why in the world should I either? It was clear that neither guy had any interest in the match and it was very slow and dull as a result. Bigelow would be gone soon and Henry would become a loveable country boy with Hillbilly Jim as his manager which was the best thing that ever happened to him.
Henry would become a bigger deal, even getting onto Undertaker’s Survivor Series team in 1995.
Royals vs. Dark Side
King Mabel, Jerry Lawler, Hunter Hearst Helmsley, Isaac Yankem
Undertaker, Fatu, Henry Godwin, Savio Vega
Mabel is on a throne carried by about five guys, all of whom look like they’re about to have hernias. The idea here is you have King Mabel, King Lawler, the blue blood and the Royal Dentist Isaac Yankem. About two years later, Isaac would put on a mask and remember that he’s Undertaker’s brother named Kane. What exactly is dark about Taker’s partners isn’t really clear. Fatu is MAKING A DIFFERENCE and is supposed to be some kind of hero for kids in the projects. He was very happy to become the Sultan a year later.
Taker’s entrance of course is huge. He has this skull looking mask on now which would eventually be purple and look very stupid. Fatu and Hunter Hearst Helmsley start things off. The Dark Side has matching t-shirts that say Rest In Peace. Fatu throws Helmsley around to start but we almost get a Pedigree, which is only broken up by a glare from Undertaker. Off to Godwin who was feuding with Hunter at this point in the standard culture clash feud.
Off to Lawler who immediately tags in Yankem. A big hop toss puts Isaac down but he sends Henry into the corner to escape. Back to Helmsley, which I’m getting tired of typing. If only there was a shorter version of his name. Perfect: “You know Helmsley likes to be called Triple H.” Thank you Mr. Perfect. Anyway, Godwin gorilla presses HHH, holding him up for a LONG time.
Lawler comes in and gets Savio which is a clash of styles if I’ve ever heard of one. Vega pounds away on Jerry as does Fatu. Yankem gets in a knee to Fatu’s back and the evil King takes over. Isaac comes in to slam Fatu and a legdrop follows. Mabel comes in but misses a splash in the corner. Vega pounds on Mabel in a rematch of the KOTR final. A side slam kills Vega but there’s no cover.
Vega gets beaten on in the corner to fill in more time. Yankem is listed as 6’8 or 6’9 here, which means he would have grown about three or four inches by the time he became the Big Fried Freak. A HHH knee drop gets two on Vega as the crowd is silent because none of this means anything. This is all just filler until we get to the Taker tag when the place is going to erupt.
Lawler’s piledriver on Vega gets two. Well it’s not Memphis so it’s understandable. Lawler knocks Vega into the corner…..and here’s Taker. Jerry gets thrown around by the throat and no one will tag him. Tombstone and pin on Lawler, tombstone and pin on Yankem, chokeslam and pin on Helmsley, and there’s just Mabel left. He immediately belly to belly suplexes Taker down and drops the face crushing legdrop before dancing a bit. There’s the situp and Mabel runs for the countout.
Rating: D+. This whole match ran just under fifteen minutes and about two of those meant anything. Everything was waiting for Taker to come in and dominate, which he did quite well, but getting there was pretty dull stuff. This match is more fun for looking at what these people would become rather than what they are now. Taker would lose the mask soon enough thank goodness.
If there’s one thing WWF liked doing, it’s a culture clash feud. Here’s the big match of Godwinn’s at In Your House V.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn
This is a hogpen match, meaning there’s an actual hog pen with pigs and mud near the entrance and the winner is the first man to send his opponent into said pin. Why is this match happening you ask? Simply put it’s because Godwinn is a hog farmer so he associates with hogs. One note characters like him had a lot to do with the downfall of the WWF at this point, as there’s no interest to such characters, meaning there’s no reason to stick around and watch them. The guest referee is 1980s crowd favorite Hillbilly Jim.
Godwinn slops the ring announcer before the match starts for no apparent reason. Helmsley jumps Godwinn but is quickly sent to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Henry ties him in the ropes so he can rub more slop in Helmsley’s face. After nearly retching, Helmsley takes it back to the floor, only to be bulldogged face first into the steps.
They head up the pen with Henry being whipped into the gate but still managing to block a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. Helmsley lands on the edge of the pen and kicks Henry down before dropping an elbow to the chest. Lawler makes Jeff Foxworthy style jokes about being from Arkansas as they head back inside where Godwinn hits a big wheelbarrow slam. Helmsley is whipped to two corners and out to the floor for another handful of slop. Henry hits the Slop Drop up by the pen but can’t follow up. Instead he charges at Helmsley and gets backdropped into the slop to end things.
Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad as it was a regular match until the ending. Again though, why am I supposed to care? It’s the lowest level of comedy and storytelling possible, which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, but we have no reason to care about either of these guys so why should I be interested in the match?
Time for a tag team with Henry’s cousin Phineas forming the Godwinns. Here they are at In Your House VII.
Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Body Donnas
The Body Donnas, the champions, are fitness enthusiasts Skip and Zip and managed by the absolutely gorgeous Sunny. The Godwinns are Henry and his cousin Phineas (Middle initials O and I respectively, meaning their full initials are H.O.G. And P.I.G.) with the latter having a big crush on Phineas. The Body Donnas won the titles in a tournament final at Wrestlemania so this is a rematch.
Henry throws Zip around to start but has to double clothesline both Donnas down. Off to Phineas who bites Zip’s arm and cranks on it a bit before tagging Henry back in. Skip, the more talented of the champions, comes in and jumps into something vaguely resembling John Cena’s Attitude Adjustment (fireman’s carry slam). A nice wheelbarrow suplex sends Skip out to the floor as this is one sided so far. Zip tries to sneak in but the referee catches them since the Body Donnas aren’t exactly twins.
Back in and it’s Phineas vs. Zip with Phineas getting some kicks to the head and grabbing a headlock. Skip low bridges the hog farmer to the floor and the champions take over for the first time. The Donnas get two off a slingshot suplex as the camera keeps looking at Sunny but I can’t say I blame them much this time around. Off to a chinlock from Skip followed by a standing hurricanrana for two.
Phineas gets all riled up (Vince’s words) and cleans house as everything breaks down. Sunny runs to the back and comes back with a framed photo of herself to give to Phineas. Why he’s fascinated by the photo when the real thing is right in front of him isn’t explained but Phineas wasn’t all that bright. Henry hits the Slop Drop on Zip but the distraction at ringside allows Skip to sneak in and small package Henry to retain the titles.
Rating: D. Much like most of the Body Donnas’ matches, Sunny was the best thing going on. She was just so good at being evil and the looks didn’t hurt anything at all. The tag division was just such a mess at this point though and this didn’t do it a lot of favors. The division wouldn’t be fixed for years to come either.
Here they are again for the titles at King of the Ring 1996.
Tag Titles; Smoking Guns vs. Godwins
These two are fighting for the tag belts so it must be the mid 90s. The country boys bring animals with them. Geez Hillbilly Jim was an awesome character. We go to the back where the Guns and Sunny are with Doc. We see a clip of the Body Donnas and their new manager who is a guy in drag named Cloudy. Sunny is dressed as a cowgirl and that’s all you need to know. The Guns are the champions here.
These were some of the weakest gimmicks of all time. The Guns are going heel here as Ross insists he saw them turn down autographs for some kids earlier at the hotel. Well at least the fans weren’t at an airport asking about the NWO. Phineas likes Sunny here too. Billy implies he’s slept with Sunny, which he likely did since he was in the WWF in the 90s. We cut to a random interview with Cloudy who can’t even fake a girl’s voice.
This is Vince’s weird idea of humor I think. It lasted all of a month I think. The match is boring as all goodness so it doesn’t mean anything. These two fought so many times and while it was ok, it was never really all that great. This match just isn’t that entertaining. Henry puts an arm lock on Bart who taps like crazy but that wouldn’t mean anything for about two more years. So this goes for about ten minutes and nothing of note happens.
I kept looking for something to talk about but this is just ten minutes of pure unadulterated average wrestling. It’s not that good and it’s not that bad but it’s not interesting or anything. It would be fine on any TV show or house show but on a PPV, I doubt it. We of course go to a massive brawl that ends with Bart hitting Phineas with something that resembles a cowboy boot but it’s not entirely clear for the pin.
Rating: C. That’s the epitome of what this match is: average. It’s just there. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a ten minute tag match where the faces acted like faces and the heels acted like heels. There was no appeal to this match at all. These two teams feuded for what seemed like ever and it never went anywhere. The tag division was more or less dead until 99 when the Hardys and Edge and Christian became the answer to the cruiserweights.
Here they are on the first episode of Shotgun Saturday Night in a bizarre feud.
Godwinns vs. Flying Nuns
The Nuns are Sister Angelica and Mother Smucker. They’re women in case you couldn’t tell. We see a video of them coming out of a cathedral. The ropes are yellow and the mat is black. Also, WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN ON JANUARY 4TH? That was the Fingerpoke of Doom and Foley winning the title and the debut of this show and Impact moving to Mondays and Shawn and Bret reuniting. Is it like November 5, 1955 in Back to the Future?
The Nuns jump the Godwins and are rather powerful it seems. Apparently men vs. women is fine now? Angelica and Phineas start and we get a HOLY CENSORED chant for no apparent reason. Wow those women are large. Hard punch and I think one Banged her Head on the mat. Sunny thinks these two are from the Nun Wrestling Federation.
Hillbilly Jim isn’t sure what’s going on. Angelica has facial hair it seems. Smucker takes over and Vince wonders how the WWF sanctioned this. Vince if you can’t remember why you did it you may want to lay off the hard stuff. The lights are really low I’m guessing to make sure the size of the place isn’t notable, which is fine. Brother Love of all people comes out and is the manager of the girls I guess.
We take a break and come back to more of the same. The girls beat up Henry, who is about 6’7 and over 300lbs. Those are some big old girls. LOUD ECW chant as well. We hear about some rookie that Sunny likes named Rocky Maivia. Eh I’m sure he’ll never mean anything. Top rope legdrop from Smucker misses and hot tag to Phineas (Mideon). Smucker complains about him trying to slam her as apparently she doesn’t like the hand placement. That’s kind of funny. Love blasts Phineas with whatever is in his hand for the pin.
Rating: D. This was a long comedy match and the joke got old quick. In case you didn’t get the reference, the Nuns are of course men and would soon be VERY repackaged as the Headbangers. This went nowhere at all though and was FAR too long, at nearly 13 minutes counting commercial.
The Godwinns opened Wrestlemania XIII.
Godwinns vs. Doug Furnas/Phillip LaFon vs. Headbangers vs. New Blackjacks
This is under elimination rules and the winner gets a tag title shot tomorrow on Raw. Why not have the title match here and the #1 contenders match earlier is beyond me but the WWF is running scared of WCW at this point so common sense is thrown out the window. The Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. We get some clips of the originals for the sake of old school. The new ones say they’re back and they’ll beat up all the small people.
Naturally it’s a big brawl to start with all eight guys fighting at once. We finally get down to Henry vs. Bradshaw which is a match that has haunted many of my nightmares over the years. A big clothesline puts Bradshaw down and it’s quickly off to Thrasher. Bradshaw still has his vest on. He runs over Thrasher though and there goes the vest. In an interesting bit of strategy, Bradshaw tags in Phineas and then punches him in the face.
Phineas pounds on him a bit more but brings in Mosh to face Thrasher. Jerry makes fun of Vince’s knowledge of rock music, saying Vince’s favorite rock band is Mount Rushmore. After some slam dancing for lack of a better term, it’s off to LaFaon who gets caught in a double flapjack for two. That doesn’t last long as it’s off to Furnas vs. Windham with the former hitting a quick rana for two. Windham hits a kind of powerbomb to take over but Bradshaw comes in and helps his partner beat down LaFon.
With the help of his partner, Bradshaw suplexes Phil out to the floor. The four members of the two teams head to the floor where Bradshaw shoves the referee and LaFon and Furnas are counted out, giving us two eliminations. So we’ve got the Headbangers vs. the Godwinns now and Thrasher gets to be in trouble first. It’s pretty clear that Vince has no idea which of the Headbangers is which.
Thrasher starts to fight back so he and Phineas spit on each other. Vince implies that Phineas is into bestiality which is an image I really didn’t need. Off to Mosh vs. Henry but a clothesline by the Godwinn puts both guys out on the floor. Mosh gets back in as Henry is only on the apron, allowing the Headbanger to hit a springboard clothesline to take Henry back down. Lawler keeps up the rock music jokes by saying Vince thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new burger at McDonald’s.
Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Mosh vs. Phineas again. Phineas loads up the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Thrasher but Mosh makes the save. Everything breaks down and a top rope seated senton by Mosh is enough for the pin on Phineas to send the Headbangers to Raw.
Rating: C-. This shows you where the tag division was at this point. There were indeed several teams fighting over the titles but that doesn’t always make for an interesting series of matches in the division. The Headbangers were different but not a great team at all and the Godwinns were WAY past their expiration date at this point. Not much to see here but it was fast paced.
They would turn heel in mid 1997 and become the evil pig farmers which didn’t work very well. Here they are at Summerslam 1997.
Godwinns vs. Legion of Doom
The Godwinns are in Deliverance mode at this point and the LOD are done with the war against the Hart Foundation and in need of a good feud. Unfortunately there wasn’t a good team for them to feud with so we’re stuck with the Godwinns. Henry had his neck broken in a Doomsday Device months ago, prompting an attack on the LOD. The LOD has sworn revenge to set this up.
The LOD are actually referred to as Road Warriors here which is rare for the WWF. LOD cleans house to start, sending the Godwinns to the floor with Hawk hitting a clothesline off the apron. We get started with Phineas vs. Animal with the latter missing a charge into the corner, allowing the hog dudes to double team him. Animal comes back with a double clothesline of his own to send the Godwinns to the floor.
Off to Henry vs. Hawk with Henry trying to hurt Hawk’s neck as a receipt. Hawk sends him into the steps before dropping some legs for two back inside. Back to Phineas for a hangman’s choke on Hawk to no avail. Animal comes back in to work Henry’s arm before a Cactus clothesline from Animal puts both guys on the floor. Henry knocks Animal into the barricade as they come back in to shift momentum. Lou Albano is in the front row.
Back in and Phineas puts Animal in a bearhug as the crowd gets hot all over again. As the hold continues, Lawler talks about Blue Ball, Arkansas. I really don’t have a joke there but you have to mention that name. Animal breaks free but Henry breaks up the hot tag attempt. Phineas goes up but jumps into a clothesline and now we get the hot tag off to Hawk. House is cleaned as everything breaks down but Phineas breaks up the Doomsday Device on Henry. Not that it matters as the LOD hit a spike piledriver on a guy recovering from a broken neck for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was supposed to be about revenge but the match never acted like that at all. The Godwinns were horrible as heels and this was a very dull match as a result. LOD still had a little bit in the tank here but they were going to explode in the next few months but almost no one cared.
That was enough to get them in the title hunt so here’s their shot at In Your House XVIII.
Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. Headbangers
The Headbangers are still champions after winning them last month. The Godwinns now have their Uncle Cletus (wrestler Tony Anthony, most famous as the Dirty White Boy) as a manager. It’s a brawl to start with the champions sending the hog farmers out to the floor. We start with Mosh vs. Phineas after a quick spitting contest. Phineas gets sent back to the floor very quickly, allowing Thrasher to hit something the camera doesn’t find important enough to show us. Apparently it was a springboard clothesline to the apron. Good to know.
Back in and we get some miscommunication, as the Headbangers try a double flapjack but Phineas drops his head down like a backdrop, nearly breaking his neck in the process. Things slow down again until we get Thrasher vs. Henry and a rollup gets two for the champion. Henry bails to the floor as the match stalls even more. Back to Phineas who is taken down, allowing Mosh to suplex Thrasher down onto Phineas for two. A middle rope clothesline from Thrasher puts Phineas down again, but Henry scores with a clothesline of his own to give the Godwinns control.
Thrasher gets crotched on the top rope and clotheslined to the floor again with Phineas coming in for more stomping. Lawler tries some lame redneck jokes to save this boring match but even his corny one liners have no effect. A bunch of knee drops get two for Phineas but Thrasher comes back with a sunset flip, only to have Henry distract the referee.
Phineas hits a wheelbarrow slam for another near fall on Thrasher but a splash in the corner only hits buckle. The hot tag brings in Mosh to clean house, including powerbombing Thrasher onto Phineas for two. Everything breaks down and Mosh’s top rope seated senton is caught in a sloppy powerbomb by Phineas for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D-. Not only was this sloppy, but it was really dull stuff. The tag team division is just horrific at this point with nothing interesting and random title changes like this one that don’t help anything. Really boring match here with WAY too much stalling and nothing special in the ring at all.
Here’s a match that exists for reasons I don’t understand. From In Your House XX.
Godwinns vs. Quebecers
The Quebecers (Jacques and Pierre) were a glorified comedy tag team from 1993 who came back for a few weeks in 1998. No one is really sure why as they were nothing special and a very random team to bring back. It didn’t help that they lost their signature Mountie outfits and are now just generic guys. Henry and Jacques get us going with the fans booing both heel teams. After a minute of stalling it’s Henry grabbing a headlock but Jacques suplexes him down.
Off to Pierre to trade some wristlocks until Henry grabs an armbar. Back to Jacques who gets clotheslined down and screams a lot during a wristlock. This match is already boring and it doesn’t help after the fans haven’t been interested in anything tonight. The Godwinns double team Jacques as Lawler implies he wants Bill Clinton shot. Jacques gets a quick two off a sunset flip to Phineas but it’s back to Henry to keep control with a chinlock.
Phineas comes in to headbutt Jacques in the ribs but Jacques comes back with an elbow to the jaw. The ice cold tag brings in Pierre as things break down. A bad looking piledriver puts Phineas down and the Cannonball (assisted top rope flip splash from Pierre) gets two with Henry making the save. Not that it matters as Henry clotheslines Pierre from the apron to give Phineas the pin.
Rating: D-. It was long, it was boring, and the fans didn’t react to anything in the entire match. I’m not sure why the Quebecers were hired again but it never worked for the most part. The tag division still isn’t great from top to bottom but the Outlaws have definitely helped things out a lot.
The Godwinns because Southern Justice and acted as Jeff Jarrett’s bodyguards and occasional partners. Here they are in a six man at In Your House XXIV.
Jeff Jarrett/Southern Justice vs. DX
Jarrett has changed his gimmick around, now basically just a jerk with an attitude. He’s also cut his hair and dropped Tennessee Lee which is definitely the best thing that’s happened to him since he’s been back. It’s the Outlaws and X-Pac here and the Outlaws(Tag Champions again) sneak up on their opponents for an early advantage. X-Pac officially starts with Jeff and powerbombs him down for two before bringing in Road Dogg. An atomic drop sets up the shaky knee drop on Jarrett but Jeff tags off to Mark Canterbury (Henry Godwinn) to take over.
Canterbury slams Road Dogg down and drops an elbow for two before bringing Jarrett back inside. They hit heads in the corner though and both guys go down to give Dogg a breather. The tag brings in X-Pac for a spinning clothesline but Canterbury gets a blind tag and catches him in a powerslam. Off to Dennis Knight (Phineas Godwinn) for a delayed vertical suplex for two. Jarrett comes back and gets two off a powerslam before avoiding a charge in the corner to put X-Pac down again.
Back to Canterbury as Billy keeps trying to come in but getting held back by the referee. Jeff hooks a chinlock but X-Pac fights back to his feet and suplexes Jarrett down. Billy gets the hot tag and cleans house, allowing X-Pac to hit the Bronco Buster on Jeff. Canterbury takes X-Pac’s head off with a clothesline but Billy steals Jeff’s guitar. The referee takes it from him but drops it, allowing Jarrett to shatter the guitar over X-Pac’s head. Gunn hits a quick Fameasser on Canterbury for the pin.
Rating: D. This was another slow and rather dull match with the finish being less polished than it should have been. X-Pac can take a good beating and it was the right choice to have Gunn clean house. The guy may not have been the best in the world but he could speed things up when he needed to.
We’ll wrap it up on Raw, September 28, 1998.
Tag Titles: Southern Justice vs. New Age Outlaws
The Outlaws are just ridiculously over. Jerry says that he’s not going to talk about an alleged incident with Jim Carrey on the set of Man on the Moon which of course is kayfabe. Canterburry vs. Gunn to start things off and a flapjack gets two on Billy. Knight comes in to double team but it doesn’t last long. Now he comes in legally but walks into a neckbreaker for two. Off to Roadie for the shaky knee but Canterburry hits a knee to the back and a clothesline to take over. Back to Billy who cleans house and hits the Fameasser but Jarrett comes in with the guitar. Roadie steals it and hits Knight with it for the short DQ.
Henry Godwinn is a good example of a guy who got stuck with a gimmick but made the most of it. At the end of the day, there’s only so far you can take a hog farmer from Arkansas but he managed to get four years out of that thing. Eventually though, it ran out of steam and Henry was just a big brawler. Again, that can only take you so far and he reached that long before he was gone. I’ve seen worse though.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Today we’ll look at another tall blond in Billy Gunn.
Billy would spend a few years on the indy scene before heading to the WWF as one half of the Smoking Gunns tag team. They would get started in early 1993 and we’ll pick things up at King of the Ring 1993.
Steiners/Smoking Guns vs. Money Inc./Headshrinkers
Well, talk about a tough act to follow. This is nothing but filler here as I don’t think there’s any kind of a point to this match other than to give the crowds a chance to restart their hearts. There’s no story here that I can think of other than you have two face teams and two heel teams going at it. The Guns are about as new as possible at this point.
Ross says he doesn’t want to disrespect this match, so therefore we’ll be lucky to hear who wins. It simply can’t be worse than WCW was though. I will never forget a match between Ultimo Dragon and Steven Regal where literally over the entire course of an eight minute match there was not a single mention of either guy or the match itself until the very end where Tony said 2, 3 (he missed the one) we have a new Television Champion!
Yes, in a match not only on television, not only a title match, but a match where the title CHANGED HANDS, thereby making history as Gorilla liked to say, we have eight minutes of people talking about the NWO and not a word about the two guys in the ring. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, rant over. Scotty and Ted start us up so there we are. To say Heenan is happy is an understatement.
Now remember, we’re NOT going to talk about Yoko and the title match out of respect here. If we don’t talk about them anymore I’m going to scream from hearing about them too much. Ross is at least talking about the match so there’s that. DiBiase beats on Billy and hooks the Dream. Heenan says that Billy is fading into obscurity. I have too many jokes to pick from here. Billy gets a roll up out of nowhere to get the pin and the big brawl starts to the Guns’ awful music.
Rating: C. Eh what do you expect here? This was six minutes of just filler and it’s the absolute best thing they could have done here. No one was going to care about anything after what they just saw, so there we are. This meant nothing at all and it wasn’t supposed to. The wrestling is about what you would expect at a house show, but it wasn’t horrible or anything. This was much more about giving the crowd a breather instead of a real match, and there’s not a thing wrong with that.
Onward to Summerslam 1993 for a little six man tag.
Smoking Guns/Tatanka vs. Headshrinkers/Bam Bam Bigelow
Aren’t cowboys and Indians supposed to fight? The heels have Afa and Luna Vachon with them. The Samoans run over the Guns to start and we have Bigelow vs. Tatanka to get us going. Tatanka fires off a shoulder block and a dropkick followed by an impressive backdrop. Both guys try cross bodies and Tatanka actually gets the better of it. For a gimmick wrestler Tatanka had some good success around this time.
A double tag brings in Billy vs. Fatu (Rikishi) with the Samoan hitting a quick superkick. Billy comes back with a top rope clothesline as Vince tells us Billy went to college on a rodeo scholarship. That actually exists? Another superkick from Samu knocks Billy into the tag to Bart who is slammed face first into the mat for his troubles. Bigelow comes in with a dropkick for two before it’s back to Fatu for a wicked powerslam. The Samoans take turns double teaming Bart with headbutts and chops as the heat segment goes on for a good while.
Bigelow misses a charge and hits the post, allowing Bart to make the hot tag off to Tatanka. The Indian chops every heel in sight and takes Bigelow down with a DDT and a high cross body for two. Tatanka goes on the war path but walks into an enziguri from Bam Bam. Sometimes there’s no better solution than to kick a guy in the head. Everything breaks down and Tatanka is left all alone against the three monsters. A TRIPLE HEADBUTT puts Tatanka down and all three go up for a triple flying headbutt, but Tatanka rolls away and rolls up Samu for the pin.
Rating: B-. Where in the world did this come from??? This was a shockingly good tag match with everyone moving fast and some great looking spots from Bigelow. Tatanka was one of those guys that the fans just liked and there’s no way you can fake that. Good stuff here and a very nice surprise.
Why not another six man from September 27, 1994?
Shawn Michaels/Diesel/Tatanka vs. Smoking Guns/Lex Luger
This has to be after Summerslam 94 but before Survivor Series 94 as Tatanka is a heel and in the Million Dollar Corporation here but Diesel and Shawn are still tag champions. Luger is the Rebel here, meaning he means absolutely nothing here because his main push is long since over. DiBiase isn’t here for some reason.
Gorilla is all over Tatanka for selling out to DiBiase. Shawn vs. Luger to start us off. I don’t remember any feud with the champions and the Guns but there likely was one. Luger destroys Shawn to start and the good guys clear the ring in a hurry. It’s so strange to see Billy Gunn as a worthless cowboy. Off to Bart vs. Diesel now which is rather amusing indeed. Why is it amusing? I’m not sure but it just is.
Diesel thankfully destroys that mullet wearing twerp and brings in Tatanka. Bart fights back but kind of messes up a dropkick as Tatanka is too close to him. The Guns hit a modified Sidewinder (side slam mixed with a top rope leg drop) to Tatanka and we go back to Shawn vs. Lex again. Luger still wants the stereotype but can’t get him since that’s the big segment of the match probably.
Luger stays in for all of 6 seconds before bringing the tired Bart back in. Did he tick someone off to deserve this? Bad armdrag brings Shawn down but Diesel pulls the top rope down to give the evildoers the advantage. Bart gets beaten down for awhile as we’re just waiting on the big brawl segment to end the match.
Shawn comes back in and we hit the chinlock. Stan Lane is blowing Gorilla away on commentary here. Shawn calls spots to Gorilla so Gorilla covers for him by saying he’s taunting. That makes sense if nothing else. A mat slam gets Bart out of trouble and the FEARSOME Billy comes in and Shawn cowers in fear which I think is a cover for wanting to laugh.
Billy gets the Texas Special (bulldog) off the top on Shawn for two and here’s the big brawl. The feuds (I guess) split off with Luger and Tatanka on the floor. Shawn gets tied in the ropes so Diesel hits the Jackknife on Billy (serves him right) and Shawn covers for the academic pin.
Rating: C-. Pretty boring for the most part but nothing too bad. It’s about what you would expect for the main event of a comp tape as Shawn steals another pin. Decent little match for the most part with not a ton of people caring but it wasn’t supposed to be anything epic. Not bad.
In case you haven’t had enough already, here’s another multiman tag match from Survivor Series 1994.
Million Dollar Team vs. Guts And Glory
Tatanka, King King Bundy, Bam Bam Bigelow, Heavenly Bodies
Lex Luger, Adam Bomb, Mabel, Smoking Gunns
This is DiBiase’s team (DiBiase had hurt his neck and had to retire) vs. Luger in a continuation of a long feud. DiBiase had said that Luger had sold out and Tatanka, Luger’s friend, believed DiBiase. This led to a match at Summerslam where it turned out that TATANKA had been bought off in a swerve I liked a lot. This is Luger’s chance for revenge again.
Luger and Tatanka start things off, much to Tatanka’s surprise. Tatanka takes over to start and chops away but the ones to the chest don’t work on Luger. Does no one watch the NWA around here? Lex no sells a suplex and pounds away with all his usual stuff. A clothesline puts Tatanka on the floor so here’s Del Ray to be beaten up too. Mabel and Bundy come in but it’s just a staredown as it’s back to the starters. Now it’s officially Mabel vs. Prichard (the Bodies are Tom Prichard and Jimmy Del Ray) with the big man missing an elbow. Prichard pounds away but a middle rope cross body (Mabel weighs 500lbs) kills him dead.
It’s 5-4 now and Del Ray comes in for some dropkicks which have no effect. A Boss Man Slam takes Jimmy down so it’s off to Bundy vs. Mabel. They collide a few times until Mabel runs him over. Off to Bigelow who gets beaten down and Mabel goes up, only to get slammed down in a cool visual. Bigelow goes up for a sunset flip but Mabel sits on his chest for no cover. A Cactus Clothesline sends them both to the floor and Mabel can’t beat the count back in to tie things up.
Off to Billy Gunn vs. Del Ray which goes nowhere so here’s Bomb vs. Bigelow. This takes about 30 seconds with Bomb hitting a slingshot clothesline but getting hit in the head by Bundy. A moonsault takes Bomb out and it’s 4-3. Luger comes in immediately and tries a rollup but it just gets two. Off to Del Ray who hits a fast superkick to take Lex down. After some right hands from Jimmy, a running forearm smash catches him in the head and Luger ties it up.
It’s Tatanka/Bigelow/Bundy vs. Luger/Smoking Gunns. It’s Bart vs. Tatanka before Billy comes in for a double Russian legsweep for two. The Gunns pound away on Tatanka for a little while with Bart and his mullet of death hitting a monkey flip for two. The Sidewinder (side slam from Bart with a legdrop from Billy) gets two and it’s back to Bart, who like an IDIOT, tries a crucifix on a guy whose finisher is a Samoan Drop. Later Bart and it’s 3-2.
Billy vs. Tatanka goes nowhere so it’s back to Luger. Billy comes in and hip tosses Tatanka for two and an elbow drop gets the same. Luger and Gunn take turns on Tatanka’s arm until Billy gets caught in a powerslam. Off to Bundy who hits a splash and elbow to get us down to Luger vs. Bigelow, Bundy and Tatanka. It’s Luger vs. King Kong now but Lex goes after Tatanka because he’s A FREAKING MORON.
Luger gets caught in the evil corner and we play the numbers game for awhile. Luger hits a forearm to Tatanka but only gets two. A sunset flip almost gets a pin on Tatanka but a tag was made on the way down to bring in Bigelow. Bundy drops an elbow for two and Lex is in trouble. Bigelow drops a headbutt for a VERY fast two. DiBiase talks trash as it’s off to Bundy for more fat man offense.
Bundy drops an elbow for two as we’re reenacting the main event of the first Survivor Series, complete with two of the original people in it. Back to Tatanka who gets two off a powerslam and drops a bunch of elbows. In a stupid looking yet still good ending, Luger gets a fast small package for the pin on Tatanka, then lays down on the mat so Bundy can splash him for the final elimination. That looked stupid.
Rating: C. This wasn’t that bad actually and the ending was a nice surprise. There was no reason to have Luger come back here and having him lose was the right move. The feud didn’t really go anywhere after this and was more or less the ending of it. Luger’s collapse after Summerslam 1993 is a sight to see given how hot he was during the summer after his face turn.
Here’s a regular tag from Summerslam 1995.
Blu Brothers vs. Smoking Gunns
The Brothers are Jacob and Eli but are more famous as the bald Harris Brothers (also known as DOA, Creative Control, the Bruise Brothers and about ten other names over the years). Their manager is Uncle Zebekiah, who is currently (as of July 2013) Zeb Colter in WWE. Jacob elbows Billy down to start before it’s off to Eli for a slam and some elbow drops. Billy gets a quick two count on Jacob before it’s off to Bart for some arm work. Jacob whips Bart into the corner before bringing Eli back in to get caught by a cross body for two.
The Gunns get a near fall off some double teaming but Billy walks into an H Bomb (double powerbomb) to stop the momentum dead. Eli puts Billy in the Tree of Woe but tags in Jacob instead of doing anything about it. Jacob draws in Bart to allow for more double teaming and Eli gets two off a powerslam. Billy comes back with a face plant to Jacob and makes the tag off to Bart. Everything breaks down and the Blus are sent into each other, allowing the Gunns to hit the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop) on Eli for the pin.
Rating: D. This wasn’t so much bad as it was completely uninteresting. That’s the problem with so many parts of 1995 WWF: the people just weren’t interesting at all and there was no reason to care about a lot of the matches. All you had here was a midcard tag match that ran about six minutes. It wasn’t any good and there was no story to it, so why was I supposed to care?
The Gunns would win three Tag Team Titles. Here’s a title defense at King of the Ring 1996.
Tag Titles; Smoking Guns vs. Godwins
These two are fighting for the tag belts so it must be the mid 90s. The country boys bring animals with them. Geez Hillbilly Jim was an awesome character. We go to the back where the Guns and Sunny are with Doc. We see a clip of the Body Donnas and their new manager who is a guy in drag named Cloudy. Sunny is dressed as a cowgirl and that’s all you need to know. The Guns are the champions here.
These were some of the weakest gimmicks of all time. The Guns are going heel here as Ross insists he saw them turn down autographs for some kids earlier at the hotel. Well at least the fans weren’t at an airport asking about the NWO. Phineas likes Sunny here too. Billy implies he’s screwed Sunny, which he likely did since he was in the WWF in the 90s. We cut to a random interview with Cloudy who can’t even fake a girl’s voice.
This is Vince’s weird idea of humor I think. It lasted all of a month I think. The match is boring so it doesn’t mean anything. These two fought so many times and while it was ok, it was never really all that great. This match just isn’t that entertaining. Henry puts an arm lock on Bart who taps like crazy but that wouldn’t mean anything for about two more years. So this goes for about ten minutes and nothing of note happens.
I kept looking for something to talk about but this is just ten minutes of pure unadulterated average wrestling. It’s not that good and it’s not that bad but it’s not interesting or anything. It would be fine on any TV show or house show but on a PPV, I doubt it. We of course go to a massive brawl that ends with Bart hitting Phineas with something that resembles a cowboy boot but it’s not entirely clear for the pin.
Rating: C. That’s the epitome of what this match is: average. It’s just there. It’s not bad, it’s not good, it’s just a ten minute tag match where the faces acted like faces and the heels acted like heels. There was no appeal to this match at all. These two teams feuded for what seemed like ever and it never went anywhere. The tag division was more or less dead until 99 when the Hardys and Edge and Christian became the answer to the cruiserweights.
Here’s a fourway Tag Team Title match from Summerslam 1996.
Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns
The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.
A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.
Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.
We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.
Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.
Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.
Now we’ll get to a very important phase of Billy’s career. He would ditch the Smoking Gunns team and become a dancing cowboy named Rockabilly. This led to a series of matches against one Jesse James, including this one at In Your House XIV.
Jesse James vs. Rockabilly
Oh let’s get this over with. Jesse James is the returning Roadie, who was revealed as being the voice that Jeff Jarrett was lip synching to. The debuting Rockabilly is Billy Gunn, but now as a dancer under Honky Tonk Man’s tutelage, following months of Honky looking for his new protege. It’s even more confusing since Billy punched Honky two weeks ago. Billy kicks away at Jesse’s ribs and comes back with a dropkick, sending Billy to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Billy down and Jesse says he’s coming for Honky next.
Back in and Billy scores with a dropkick of his own before posing a bit. The match slows down a lot as Billy is more interested in dancing than going for a win. Now it’s off to a chinlock before Billy rakes the eyes to slow James down. A corner splash misses and Billy hits the post and eventually James gets up to pounds away in the corner. Billy sends him to the floor before bringing it back inside for more dancing. As usual this goes badly as his suplex is countered into a small package by Jesse for a fast pin.
Rating: D. Egads this show has been horrible so far. This is another feud that went on for months with no one caring, though in this case there would be something good to come out of it. We’ll get to that later, but for now there was nothing to see here and no one was interested in these two at this point.
The guys got tired of fighting each other and became a team called the New Age Outlaws. Here they are in action at Survivor Series 1997.
Team New Age Outlaws vs. Team Headbangers
New Age Outlaws, Godwinns
Headbangers, New Blackjacks
The Outlaws I’m sure you know, the Godwinns are evil here and are Henry and Phineas, the Headbangers are Mosh and Thrasher, and the Blackjacks are Barry Windham and Bradshaw. Windham (looking FAT here) starts with Phineas, the latter of which is immediately knocked to the floor with a shoulder block. This is when the Outlaws are a new team of jobbers who would soon shock the world and win the titles from the LOD.
Off to Bradshaw who looks skinny here by comparison to what he would become. Phineas gets a boot up in the corner as the evil ones take over. The Outlaws don’t want to come in so it’s off to Henry instead. Bradshaw gets two off a legsweep and puts on an abdominal stretch before falling back and rolling up Henry for the pin. Back to Windham to face Phineas, with Barry hitting a gutwrench suplex and a lariat for two. Phineas comes back with a clothesline of his own for the elimination and to tie it up at three.
Mosh comes in to take over on Phineas with a devastating armbar. It’s off to Billy who beats down Mosh and receives homophobic chants in his general nature. Or maybe it’s something in French. We get down to some basic wrestling and the fans go SILENT. Mosh tries a bulldog but Billy shoves him off and gets the pin for a quick elimination. It’s Thrasher/Bradshaw vs. Phineas/Outlaws.
Thrasher (trivia for you: Thrasher had a big hand in training Big Show) comes in and works on the arm but Phineas takes him down in return. The action in this match is really dull so far. Thrasher goes up and hits the Stage Dive (top rope seated senton) for the pin to make it 2-2. Off to Bradshaw vs. Road Dogg with the future JBL pounding away. A gutwrench powerbomb puts Dogg down but a Billy distraction lets Roadie get a school boy to pin Bradshaw.
Thrasher pounds on Dogg but walks into a pumphandle slam. He counters into a cover on the Dogg, but Billy comes off the top with a legdrop. Now when I say legdrop, I mean he literally is a foot away from Thrasher but gets the pin anyway. This looked so bad that even though I had seen it before, it still made my jaw drop. The Outlaws survive.
Rating: F-. The ending alone makes this a failure, but on top of that, the best worker in this match by far was Thrasher. Let that sink in for a minute. The Outlaws had only been the Outlaws for a month and a half or so at this point so no one cared about them, the Godwinns are as interesting as corporate accounting, the Blackjacks are the Blackjacks, and the Headbangers are barely interesting at all. This was a horrible match and an even worse choice for an opener.
The Outlaws would shock the world and beat the Legion of Doom for the Tag Team Titles. Here’s the rematch from Royal Rumble 1998.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom
The Outlaws make fun of the 49ers who lost in the NFC Title game recently to the Packers. The LOD says that Animal’s back is fine and they’re putting the Outlaws on ice tonight. The Outlaws jump the challengers which goes badly in a hurry, as Animal powerbombs the Dogg. The champions try to walk out but get thrown back in so we can start with Hawk (who had one mohawk shaved off earlier in this feud) vs. Roadie.
Off to Animal as Road Dogg’s mouth is bleeding. The pounding continues so here’s Hawk for his one wrestling move in the neckbreaker. Gunn gets the tag and Hawk hits a freaking Lou Thesz Press of all things so he can pound away some more. Animal powerslams both Outlaws down and it’s off to a reverse chinlock on Gunn. Hawk comes in for his second surprise move of the match in an STF.
That goes nowhere so it’s back to Animal, who is tripped up by Roadie. They head outside where Animal is sent into the steps to finally switch the momentum. Hawk gets double teamed in the ring but clotheslines both Outlaws down (Animal is still legal) but charges into the post. Dogg finds some handcuffs and attaches Hawk to the post, making it a handicap match. Animal makes a comeback with a double clothesline, but Dogg hits him with a chair for the DQ.
Rating: D. So with an injury AND his partner tied up on the floor, Animal STILL couldn’t lay down for a pin? Seriously? This match sucked and would have been just slightly better on Raw with less time. The LOD was nothing at this point while the Outlaws were finally starting to turn some heads. Until this point though, they were two jobbers with the titles who kept escaping with them. Brighter days were coming.
Time to change history. From Raw on March 30, 1998.
Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws
Road Dogg is wearing a JOB Squad t-shirt for some reason. The old guys jump them as they get in and the fight is on. Funk has a BAD bruise on his back/hip. Gunn gets suplexed into the cage and is hung upside down from the top of the cage. There are no tags in this. This is a total mess but that’s supposed to be the point so it works.
Funk is tied to the cage with something. Cactus manages to get a double DDT but it’s a handicap match now. Funk gets an arm free but can’t untie himself. He’s tied by his throat. Jack and Gunn go up to the corner and Billy gets crotched. DX comes in and Pac blasts Cactus with a chair and a spike Piledriver onto said chair gives the Outlaws the titles again.
Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because it was a big mess, but that was the idea here. Also the whole point of this was to show that DX had fresh blood in it as the Outlaws are officially part of DX now. This was a perfect fit as they were all about the lack of respect and all that jazz. They worked rather well in that role too.
We’ll jump ahead to Survivor Series 1998 with the Outlaws defending the Tag Team Titles.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry
The Outlaws are defending of course. This was set up on Raw with both challenging teams doing something that I can’t remember to earn the shot. Billy and Brown start things off but Mosh comes in off a blind tag to try to steal a pin on Billy. Mosh hits a running body attack in the corner on Gunn before diving at Brown as well. This is pretty messy so far. The Outlaws pound on the former Nation guys in opposite corners before the Headbangers double team Roadie.
Brown and Mosh trade pin attempts on Dogg. This is the old triple threat tag match rules where there are three people at a time in there which I’ve always preferred. Off to Henry for a bearhug on Roadie until Mosh makes the save. Off to Brown, Thrasher and Dogg as this continues to be ugly stuff. Gunn gets in a LOUD argument with the referee as Brown ranas Thrasher off the top.
Roadie pounds on Brown and Thrasher but Henry takes his head off with a clothesline. Brown’s running powerbomb to Thrasher is countered into a sunset flip for two. A Henry legdrop gets the same on Dogg, followed by the Headbangers double teaming Roadie for the same. Brown offers a pact with Mosh but gets kicked in the balls for his efforts. JR can almost be heard moaning at how bad this match is. Roadie finally escapes the beating for the hot tag to Billy. The fans LOVED the Outlaws so at least they’re reacting here.
Brown hits the Sky High on Billy but since everyone is out of position, it takes forever to start the count. Jesse Ventura would have a field day with this. To further the stupidity here, Billy hits a Fameasser on Mosh but Henry makes the save with a splash, also hitting Mosh. Mark just stays on top of Mosh for a cover, but after two finisher it only gets two. That Mosh man, he’s TOUGH. Billy finally piledrives Mosh to retain the titles.
Rating: F. This was terrible and there’s no other way to put it. They were all over the place and no one was even reading the same book out there. The referee had to count very slowly so the saves could be made and there was no flow to this at all. Just awful and JR’s commentary makes it even funnier, but in a kind of sad way.
We’ll even get in a singles match on Raw from January 25, 1999.
Billy Gunn vs. Goldust
Gunn’s ankle is still messed up from last night. HHH says no catchphrase tonight, because he wants Rocky right here. He doesn’t think Rock made Mankind say I Quit and he knows Rock can’t make him say I Quit. HHH remembers the last time they fought for a title when HHH took the IC Title off Rock, but for once, be a man and accept the challenge.
Oh yeah we have a match here. Goldust jumps Billy from behind and tries for Shattered Dreams about a minute in. Billy counters by mooning Goldie, making him miss a cross body. Now Goldust’s music and pyro go off, and the Blue Freaking Meanie comes out dressed as Blue Dust. Billy gets two off a rollup and three off a piledriver after Blue Dust hit Goldie with the Head. Angle advancement here.
The team would split in 1999, setting up this match at Over the Edge 1999.
Road Dogg vs. Billy Gunn
You can tell Roadie is extra hyped up here. Gunn cuts a pretty bad promo, saying he carried the team. Just based on the opening here, we have a far better match here than we had in 2008. For one thing it’s 9 years younger and they can actually move out of the ring which helps a lot. Road Dogg is face here mind you. Billy hits the Jackhammer which is called a vertical suplex here.
They’re far more energetic this time too and the crowd is more into it. Also there’s no cage which is helping a lot. Lawler is back to himself now. I think the idea of out of sight and out of mind is helping here. I think Gunn wins the award for world’s worst sleeper ever. We get the comeback and it’s a pretty decent one.
The fans are freaking responding to this. On the floor Gunn hits Roadie in the head with the timekeeper’s hammer. Yeah this is over. Oh dang I would have bet on that being the finish. Gunn gets a shot to the throat with some tape before the Famerasser ends it.
Rating: C+. FAR better effort here. This was a pretty good match I thought and at least the ending worked pretty well. It’s not great but it’s not bad at all. Roadie’s energy was off the charts as always and it worked pretty well. The crowd was into it also so I can’t complain and the wrestling was bearable.
Billy would take part in the 1999 King of the Ring. He would win the tournament but the semi-final and final are so bad that we’ll look at his quarterfinal match instead.
KOTR Quarterfinals: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn
Billy beat Viscera and Shamrock beat Jarrett to qualify. Gunn has a tag belt but isn’t a champion in a way too complicated storyline that was shockingly a Russo idea. He won one of the titles or something like that in a 6 man but it was never official and the APA got them back in a few days. Yeah it was pointless. Gunn says get out here and forfeit. Shamrock beats up the EMTs and comes out anyway to a nice pop but no music until it comes on as I’m typing that and I’m too lazy to fix it.
Teddy Long, the referee here says that Ken is too hurt to fight but he rings the bell anyway. Gunn is actually smart here and pounds on the chest and ribs and nothing else. Shamrock actually gets a quick ankle lock but a shot to the ribs gets Gunn out of it. You can more or less see the ending coming from miles away. Shamrock starts a comeback and drops a ton of F bombs while spitting up pink blood that’s staining his skin.
I like the blood from the mouth but Vince, you’re miles ahead of everyone in the wrestling world. Buy good fake blood. Shamrock tries a hurricanrana but it’s countered into a powerbomb and the blood flow causes the referee to call it due to the injuries. Also, blood doesn’t hang off the lip like a string. Long takes the safest through the ropes bump I’ve ever seen.
Rating: C+. Although it’s three minutes long, this was actually decent. In those three minutes, we have psychology in the chest/rib work, some decent shots, a decent performance from Shamrock, and an ending that makes sense. It’s weak, but it makes sense. They have way too many matches here so we have three matches and no regular endings yet. That can’t be a good sign.
Here’s a dream match from Unforgiven 1999.
Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. New Age Outlaws
Edge and Christian are young faces here and asked for a title match on Heat. How weird is it that Edge and Christian would be light years ahead of the Outlaws at the end of the day? The Outlaws are freshly reunited here and the pop is noticeably quieter. And I’m wrong as they’re WAY into the Road Dogg entrance stuff. Edge and Gunn start us off. Korderas is refereeing again which is good as there shouldn’t be any drama here.
This was when Gunn was still bearable in the ring so this is decent to start off with. Edge and Christian were young and awesome at this time so this is a fun match on paper. More or less no way they were going to win though as the Outlaws had just won the belts recently. Lawler asks Ross if he likes it doggy style. That’s just wrong. The Outlaws are showing off here which you NEVER see. It’s not bad actually. Edge is WAY into steroids here as he’s ripped as all goodness.
I don’t know if I believe this but I think the Outlaws are having a good standard tag match here. What in the world am I watching? You could tell that the challengers were going to be awesome at some point in the future. What would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it misses.
Gunn gets the hot tag and he just starts cleaning house. NICE powerslam. This is a solid match actually. And here are the Hardys and Gangrel. They beat up Edge and Christian so the Fameasser ends it. Screw this good match thing! We want RUN INS! Russo was gone but still being felt at this time I guess.
Rating: B. Solid stuff here as they went back and forth with the Outlaws showing that they could go when they wanted to. This of course makes me want to know: why didn’t they do it more often? It’s a shame they didn’t as this was awesome. Of course Edge and Christian would have their time.
Billy would be out of action for a big chunk of 2000 with an injury but would come back in the fall as a singles act. Here he is getting an Intercontinental Title shot on Smackdown, Novmeber 23, 2000.
Intercontinental Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Gunn
Before the bell, Billy quickly takes him to the floor and hammers away before dropping him face first onto the barricade. They head inside for the opening bell and both guys try a cross body for a big collision. Eddie brings in the title belt and a ref bump lets him drop Billy face first onto the belt for two.
The Frog Splash gets the same and Eddie is livid. Back up and a powerslam gets two for Gunn and the tilt-a-whirl slam gets the same. A Jackhammer plants Eddie for no cover but the Fameasser gets another near fall. Gunn tries it again but Eddie sends him into the ropes for a breather. Eddie goes up but dives into the One and Only (sleeper slam) for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. You think we had enough kickouts from finishers here? It’s a five minute match on Smackdown, not the main event of Summerslam. The match was decent enough and a good way to get Billy over, even though he lost the title less than a month later. Eddie breaking up with Chyna made this as easy a match as you could ask for. Nothing special but the kickouts were pretty odd.
The Invasion didn’t go well for Billy but here’s a match against a future star on Raw, June 25, 2001.
Edge vs. Billy Gunn
Fast paced stuff to start but Billy heads to the floor. Baseball slide puts him down and a missile dropkick gets two back inside. Billy hits a spinebuster for no cover. Out to the floor with Billy in control. There’s a guy in the crowd doing a Hogan impression and since we’re watching a Billy Gunn match, the fans cheer for Hogan.
Edge spears him down and makes a comeback until Christian accidentally hits him. Billy gets two off a rollup and Jackhammers Edge for two. There’s a boring chant. Who thought giving BILLY GUNN a long match in 2001 was a good idea? Billy loads up the Fameasser but Christian comes in with a backbreaker so Edge can Impale Billy for the pin.
Rating: F+. And 99% of that is for Gunn. What in the world were they thinking by pushing him OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? I mean he just kept getting time on TV and less and less people cared every time until he owed the people some caring for the interest getting so low. Terribly uninteresting match and the crowd turned on it. Why is Edge facing Billy Gunn anyway? He beat Kurt Angle last night to win the King of the Ring and now he’s got Billy Gunn?
Billy would hook up with Chuck Palumbo for the gay (literally, as in they had a wedding ceremony) tag team of Billy and Chuck. Here they are defending the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania X8.
Tag Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Hardy Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck vs. APA
Saliva plays the Dudleyz to the ring which gives us the VERY nice image of Stacy in the Dudley attire dancing to the song. I’ve always thought she never looked better than she did in those outfits. Billy and Chuck are defending and this is elimination rules. Bradshaw jumps Chuck to start but Billy saves him from the fallaway slam. Instead it’s Billy taking it as it’s all Bradshaw so far.
A big belly to back suplex puts Chuck down again and it’s off to Faarooq. The crowd is eerily silent for this. Chuck clips Faarooq in the jaw with a right hand and it’s off to Billy for some choking. Billy loads up the Fameasser but gets caught in a wicked powerslam. Back to Bradshaw as things break down a bit. Billy tags in D-Von but the APA breaks up a 3D attempt. Faarooq hits a spinebuster on Chuck on the floor and there’s the big Clothesline to Billy, but Bradshaw walks into the 3D for the elimination.
The Hardys and Dudleys start fighting for old times’ sake before Matt and Jeff start beating on Chuck. The Dudleys load up a table but the Hardys dive on them to slow it up. Back in and there’s the Whisper in the Wind to Bubba. Stacy gets up on the apron and pulls up her shorts to distract Jeff, only to get spanked and kissed. A Bubba Bomb slows down Billy before Bubba chokes on Jeff with his shirt.
Things finally calm down a bit until we get to Jeff vs. Bubba again. With D-Von’s help, Bubba manages a backdrop to put Jeff down again and puts on a chinlock. D-Von comes in and runs over Jeff before pounding away in the corner. A belly to back suplex gets two and it’s back to Bubba. Having a regular tag match between these two is probably the best idea given how lame Billy and Chuck were in the ring. Bubba stands on Jeff’s crotch in the Tree of Woe before tagging in D-Von for some choking.
A clothesline by Jeff allows for the hot tag to Matt, only to see him immediately run over by Bubba. The backsplash misses of course though and Matt tries to speed it up a bit, only to get caught in What’s Up. Before D-Von can dive though, the champions remember they’re in this too and shove D-Von through the table on the floor. Matt pops up and it’s the Twist into the Swanton for the pin on Bubba, leaving us with Billy and Chuck against the Hardys.
A Side Effect puts Billy down and there’s Poetry in Motion for good measure. Chuck gets the same along with a Twist of Fate. Jeff adds in the Swanton but Billy sneaks in with a Fameasser on Jeff but Chuck can only get two off o it. Instead it’s a belt shot to Jeff’s head for the pin by Chuck to FINALLY end this.
Rating: D. This was only thirteen minutes long but MAN ALIVE was this a chore to sit through. There was no need for this to be on the card and everyone from the commentators to the fans had no interest in it. The only good thing about this was how insanely hot Stacy looked. This could have easily been cut and made this already bloated show a bit easier to sit through.
Billy would miss some time due to an injury but come back in 2003. Here he is at Vengeance. If he loses, Torrie has to sleep with Jamie Noble against her will, because that kind of stuff can be wagered in wrestling matches.
Billy Gunn vs. Jamie Noble
Jamie brings a briefcase with his “stuff” in it. They actually open it which is creepy. Jamie’s girlfriend Nidia comes out and is mad at him over this clearly. See the criticisms of soap opera stuff that WWE gets? Noble works on his knee so his regular stuff can’t work. Gunn busts out a random Diamond Cutter for two. Didn’t see that one coming. Noble hooks a DDT from the second rope. I liked that.
Nidia puts his foot on the ropes though since she doesn’t want Torrie sleeping with Noble. That makes sense at least. Both girls beat him up. Billy gets rammed into Torrie and gets rolled up for the pin. Torrie says Holy censored and it’s rather amusing. Cole shouting NOBLE GETS TO SLEEP WITH TORRIE cracked me up. He wants to watch. Oh dear.
Rating: D. Bad match on top of a bad angle doesn’t help. Naturally it didn’t happen and Noble and Gunn started teaming together because it’s professional wrestling and of course it doesn’t make sense. Torrie looked hot though so I can’t complain much there. Still though, stupid angle and a stupid match.
Billy would be used very infrequently around this time but we’ll look at one more WWE match from Judgment Day 2004.
Smackdown Tag Titles: Charlie Haas/Rico vs. Billy Gunn/Hardcore Holly
Charlie/Rico are the champions here and it’s another oddball team. Rico is fully embracing his gay side here and the only good thing is Jackie Gayda looking incredible. However, Billy Gunn and Hardcore Holly? Bart Gunn wasn’t available to reform the New Midnight Express? The challengers argue over who starts first so Rico slaps/grabs their rumps. Wouldn’t Billy be used to that?
Ok officially we start with Haas vs. Holly. After a brief feeling out process Holly grabs a headlock and it’s technician vs. power brawler to start us off. Off to Rico who slaps Haas’ chest to come in. Rico touches the redneck Holly and it’s off to the former groom as Rico does a cancan. Rico kisses his hand and puts it on Billy’s face to really mess with Gunn. We have butt slapping and some rodeo before Rico kicks Billy who falls onto his knees in front of Rico. Yep we’re in a comedy match.
Gunn finally gets ticked off and drills Rico, and by that I mean he punches him you sick freaks. Holly vs. Haas now with Holly getting a suplex for two. We hit the chinlock before Gunn comes in and hammers away. Rico: “Don’t you hurt my Charlie!” Holly’s kick between the legs (to the stomach) gets two. I missed a Rico likes hardcore joke in there somewhere.
Holly goes to the middle rope and does the jump into the boot of a guy in a move where the only reason I went to the top was to jump into the boot because a double clothesline is beyond my intelligence spot. Haas gets the tag (moderate temperature) and Rico cleans house (no French Maid outfit?) but gets caught in a Fameasser. There was a blind tag to Haas though so no cover. Alabama Slam is caught by a superkick from Rico lets Haas get a sunset flip on Holly to retain.
Rating: C-. Just a tag match based in comedy here. Nothing worth seeing at all as Jackie looking good was a regular occurrence. Not a bad match or anything mind you, but when the biggest star is Billy Gunn and he’s a glorified jobber who would be gone in six months, the same week as Rico actually. Nothing terrible, but just there for the most part.
It’s off to TNA now, starting at Destination X 2005.
Outlaw vs. Kevin Nash
This is first blood. No particular reason for it but whatever. Oh he’s Kip James apparently. Seriously is Kip James the best name you could give him? Honestly? Let’s remind us that Nash has won a bunch of titles in WCW and WWE, but never the NWA Title. Oh dear. Wait, according to Vince that’s the same thing so whatever.
Nash still has the really short hair here and looks like an idiot because of it. James is working on the knee which at least makes sense here. Wait a minute, no it doesn’t. It’s FIRST BLOOD. Why wouldn’t you go after the head? Oh that’s right: It’s Billy Gunn in TNA. Hey, let’s try to drive a screwdriver into the head of a man. That’s not bad at all.
Gunn goes with a chair instead. Well at least he’s trying to kill him with a less violent method. Gunn stops the offense to use wire cutters to cut a turnbuckle pad off. The referee goes down but I have no idea how that happened. Oh never mind. I just don’t care.
Nash hits Snake Eyes onto the buckle and there’s no referee so cue up the screwjob music. Jarrett runs out and nails Nash with the belt and the physician or someone runs in to clean things up. An attorney made him I think. Oh good night this is dumb. West isn’t helping at all either. Yep there’s the bell and Nash loses.
Rating: D+. It’s not bad but I just didn’t care at all. No one cares about Gunn anymore and no wrestling company accepts that. First Blood matches tend to suck anyway but they’re easy ways to get cheap heel heat I guess. Not that anyone can tell the difference in TNA though between faces and heels.
From Final Resolution 2006. You knew this wouldn’t take TNA long.
Diamonds in the Rough vs. James Gang
It’s Elix Skipper/David Young and this is the return match for the James Gang. BG and Skipper start things off. Skipper shoves him down and it’s a very slow start. Skipper suplexes BG over and works on the arm for a second. BG comes back with the dancing punches and shaking knee drop for two. David and Kip come in for a few collisions that go nowhere.
The Diamonds try some double teaming but get caught in a double Japanese armdrag by Kip. They get sent to the floor and the Gang beats on them on the floor. The fans chant for the Outlaws but BG walks into a spinebuster from Young for no cover. There’s a reason the guy lost like 86 matches in a row. Skipper pounds on BG for a bit before it’s back to Young who covers, only to have Kip distract the referee. David misses a moonsault and it’s hot tag to Kip. Skipper clotheslines him down and everything breaks down. Young breaks up the pumphandle slam but Kip hits the cobra clutch slam for the pin on Elix.
Rating: D. You know there’s a running theme with these New Age Outlaws matches: they’re not that good. These guys were never known for their in ring work and it’s pretty clear why. The matches just aren’t any good with the action being generic the whole way through. There was nothing to this and it was a horrible return for the James Gang or whatever they’re called this month.
Then they turned into the Voodoo Kin Mafia which is some shot at Vince. I don’t get it either. From Slammiversary 2007.
Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Damaja/Basham
At least we can look at Christy’s hottness. Big brawl to start and no one is really all that interested. Christy is chased into the ring and oh hey there’s the bell. Basham (Danny) vs. Road Dogg to start us off. Roadie gets beaten down and it’s off to Kip. He gets double teamed as well as the Bashams set for a double suplex. Roadie spears one of them and Billy gets a small package to Basham for the pin. This was NOTHING, not even lasting three minutes.
One more showdown for old times’ sake. From Lockdown 2008.
BG James vs. Kip James
Seriously, how has this match not happened before? This started as Roadie won a tag title shot in Feast or Fired and had his 60+ year old father be his partner of all things. No one bought it and this is what it was setting up. This should have been the finals of the 99 KOTR but that would have made sense so there we go.
Billy breaks out a Diamond Cutter of all things to counter the punches of Roadie. Sorry, I refuse to call him Kip James. Roadie is easier to type than BG James also, even though that really is closer than Jesse James. The problem with this whole PPV shows up again: while this could actually be a decent feud/match, the first match of it simply doesn’t belong in a cage as it’s just a regular match but in a cage.
A Fameasser gets two and then a low blow has both guys down. Naturally the finish sucks: Billy stomps his foot three times before going for a splash which misses and Roadie rolls him up for the pin. They do the reunion for about two seconds and Kip does the heel turn which no one cares about but of course it’s evil and no one saw it coming. After a bad and short feud with Matt Morgan, Billy would be Cute Kip to just end any shred of credibility he had.
Rating: D-. What was the point of this again? Actually that’s not a fair question. This match actually had a point. However, giving them seven minutes in a pointless cage match is just freaking stupid by TNA as they throw away a potentially kind of big match with no time and a terrible finish. Makes sense at least.
Then at Genesis 2009, he was brought in as the surprise main event replacement because TNA doesn’t know how wresling works.
Main Event Mafia vs. Front Line
It’s Booker, Steiner and a mystery partner here vs. AJ, D-Von and Foley but I just felt like trying to make it seem more important. Booker is Legends (Global/TV) Champion here. He’s also the British version here. The suitable replacement is of course Cute Kip. As in Kip James. As in Billy Gunn. As in the “he’s gay but we’re not going to say he’s gay because it would likely get us in trouble” character.
Fans are SILENT when he’s announced. This was a one shot deal for the Mafia and everyone just freaked out when they picked him, as no one bought him as anything but a joke. Tenay of course mentions DX and the Outlaws because we have to remind people of that instead of his success in TNA. Gunn lists off his WWF accomplishments and says he really is a tough guy. This is about a minute after Booker introduced him as the Cutie.
This is Foley’s return to the ring. AJ is still the awesome face at this point and the most awesome wrestler in the world. Him without the robe works MUCH better than with it. Foley is apparently wearing the flannel to be like Brother Ray. That’s so stupid I can’t even make a joke about it. I guess Foley is the big draw here. Steiner cusses out West before the match starts.
We leave the ring immediately and it’s a huge mess. Foley goes up for the elbow but the heels all move. We finally get things back to at least close to calm and start doing some tagging. That’s a pretty good lineup of tag wrestlers on the Mafia side actually. On the other side it’s not bad either I guess, but seriously, D-Von Dudley is in a main event in 2010. What sense does that make?
It’s just a six man tag though. There’s nothing on the line and there’s nothing of importance here. After this match no matter who wins or loses things will be exactly the same. Why should I want to watch this match? Better yet why would I pay to see this match? That’s the issue I have with tags ending PPVs: they accomplish nothing. AJ fights out of trouble with a Pele.
Fameasser misses and Kip takes the Pele. Hot tag to Foley who beats up Kip James. They head to the floor and brawl a lot….and there’s the bell? It’s a double countout but Cornette comes out and says restart it just because I guess. Booker says Cornette doesn’t have the authority to do that. Foley says he does though so it’s restarted, also making it a hardcore match.
Everything goes nuts of course as everyone is fighting in the aisle with weapons etc. The fans want tables. Foley goes onto the announce table via Booker. After some more skirmishing, Foley tells D-Von to get the tables. Booker is put on a regular table and out of NOWHERE comes AJ with a huge dive to crush Booker and take out everyone but D-Von and Steiner.
Top rope headbutt to Steiner and Foley busts out Socko. It’s in Booker’s mouth but Steiner saves. Everything goes insane and Steiner takes a double arm DDT onto a chair from Foley to get pinned. As the Front Line celebrates, Tenay talks about how the Mafia won tonight. Uh, yeah sure they did dude. Just glad this is over.
Rating: F+. I know I’ve said this a lot but Kip James and D-Von Dudley were just in the main event of a PPV. Add in that to the fact that it was a meaningless six man tag with nothing on the line and that we stopped for a promo series in the middle and that the hardcore stuff was weak and why should this get anything above failing? Just a bad match to main event a PPV with to put it mildly.
Billy would head back to WWE for a bit as a nostalgia act in 2014. From Raw on January 20, 2014.
Billy Gunn vs. CM Punk
Road Dogg is on commentary and says the Outlaws turned on Punk for the publicity which has gotten them a Tag Team Title shot. Punk sends Billy to the floor and into the apron but stops to yell at Roadie. Billy gets in a cheap shot and we take a break. Back with Punk putting on a sleeper but getting suplexed down and put in a chinlock. Billy slams Punk down and finally takes his shirt off, only to be knocked to the floor again.
Punk loads up a suicide dive but instead goes to the floor to beat up Road Dogg. The knee in the corner looks to set up Punk’s bulldog but a Dogg distraction lets Billy hit a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Punk comes right back and loads up the Macho Elbow but Dogg pulls Gunn to the floor. Not that it matters as the GTS connects for the pin on Billy a few seconds later for the pin at 8:57.
Rating: C. I’m not a big Billy Gunn fan but this worked well enough. There was no way you put either Outlaw over Punk and having them double team him was the only way to make the match even the slightest bit competitive. This was more about advancing the Punk vs. Authority story and there’s nothing wrong with that.
And one more as the Outlaws won the Tag Team Titles and defend them at Elimination Chamber 2014.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos
The Usos are challenging. Jimmy shoves Billy around to start and some armdrags and hiptosses send Gunn outside. The Usos load up their double dive but the Outlaws move before the jump. Back in for Dogg vs. Jey with the champion’s headbutt hurting him instead of Jey. A hiptoss sends Jey into the corner and he looked to injure his knee or leg. The shaky kneedrop gets two and it’s back to Gunn for a two count.
The CM Punk chants start up as Dogg shrugs off some right hands and knees Jey down again. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Jey fights up and superkicks Jey back down. Hot tag brings in Jimmy to speed things up leaving Jimmy vs. Gunn in the ring. Road Dogg pulls his partner away from the running Umaga attack but Jimmy dives onto Roadie. Back in and a superkick gets two on Gunn but Jimmy has to go after Road Dogg, allowing Billy to grab a rollup for the pin at 8:34.
Rating: D+. This is more about frustrating booking than a bad match but the wrestling was nothing great either. I’m not sure if the Outlaws are holding the belts because they’re friends of HHH or because this company thinks there’s more to nostalgia than anyone else, but I don’t get the appeal of the Outlaws getting clean pins on top tag teams.
Billy Gunn is a guy that had the look and the athleticism, but he never made it work as a singles guy. At the end of the day, the guy just didn’t work out without Road Dogg there to compliment him. There’s nothing wrong with being a tag team wrestler though and Billy was part of three very good teams. That’s quite the accomplishment and something most people can’t claim.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1998: As Big As It Gets
Summerslam 1998 Date: August 30, 1998
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 21,588
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
A year has passed and a lot has changed. The biggest things of all are Austin being the WWF Champion and Raw dominating the Monday Night Wars. The Attitude Era is in full swing and there’s nothing standing in the way of the WWF at this point. We have Austin defending the title against Undertaker in the main event after a summer of wondering if Undertaker is in league with the evil Vince McMahon. This is the biggest Summerslam of all time and could have easily been Wrestlemania if it was that time of the year. Let’s get to it.
The opening video is about how all the lies will be revealed tonight. Vince has promised Undertaker the title in exchange for something that hasn’t been revealed yet, leading to the conspiracy theories.
European Title: Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown
Brown is defending and there’s no story to this that I remember. It has a sixty minute time limit, just in case the lower midcard title match in the opening slot pushes going Broadway. Since we’re in MSG we have the old school set with the entrance opposite the cameras instead of off to one side. This is Venis’ first title shot and D’Lo is doing a gimmick where he’s from a different European city each time with tonight being Helsinki. He’s also part of the Nation of Domination here but only has his chest protector for an advantage here.
Brown shoves him into the ropes to start and they slap hands. The champion also slaps Val’s face to tick him off as JR tells us about Austin destroying a hearse which may have had Undertaker or Kane inside. Brown hits a standing splash with the chest protector for added impact to take over. A splash misses in the corner though and Venis takes over with a Russian legsweep. After a quick breather on the floor, Brown comes back in to run the ropes but he gets caught in a spinebuster. A newcomer named Edge is watching in the crowd.
Venis misses a splash and gets caught in a belly to back suplex to give Brown control again. Val comes back with an overhead t-bone suplex but walks into a clothesline followed by a legdrop for two. A leg lariat and a middle rope elbow gets the same and Val is holding his back for some reason. Brown follows up on the injury with a Texas Cloverleaf but lets it go after only a few seconds. Did he learn submissions from No Mercy? Brown misses a middle rope senton and both guys are down. The fans are much more into this than you would expect them to be.
Val hits some running knees to the ribs and a backdrop for no cover. He tries a high cross body but gets caught in a Sky High (lifting powerbomb) which gets a delayed two count. Brown hits a quick DDT but dives off the middle rope into a powerslam for two. A butterfly suplex sets up the Money Shot (top rope splash) but Brown gets his knees up.
The fans LOUDLY chant for D’Lo but he can’t get Val all the way up for a powerbomb. Another try is good for a running Liger Bomb but the Low Down frog splash misses. Val finally rips off the chest protector and puts it on himself before going up top. The referee tries to pull him down and crotches him, earning a toss from Val for the DQ.
Rating: C+. I was digging this until the lame ending. The problem here was the match built up over fifteen minutes and then hit a brick wall with a referee crotching a guy on the top and then complaining that the guy was hurt. That’s not a satisfactory ending to a match with that long of a build, but at least the build was good.
Val slams the referee and hits a Money Shot.
Mankind is mad that Austin broke the hearse (“I have to take it to the Brisco Brothers Body Shop.”) because he wanted to put Kane in it later tonight. Mankind has a sledge hammer and wants to use it on someone.
Insane Clown Posse plays the Oddities to the ring to a HUGE reaction.
Oddities vs. Kaientai
The Oddities are Golga (Earthquake under a mask), Giant Silva (Great Khali’s size and about a tenth of the skill) and Kurrgan (uh….yeah). Kaientai is a four man heel team here and not the comedy guys they would become in a year or so. Golga starts with Light Heavyweight Champion Taka Michinoku and the big man rams his own head into the buckle for some reason. He shoves down all four members of Kaientai as we’re firmly in comedy match territory.
Golga steals Kaientai’s manager Yamaguchi-San’s shoes and blasts various people with it before it’s off to the dancing Kurrgan. He gets on his knees to fight Funaki in a funny bit before dancing even more. Three of the four Japanese guys swarm Kurrgan to no effect as he cleans house anyway. Yamaguchi-San is shoved down again and it’s off to Silva to clean the little bit of the house which isn’t taken care of yet.
Kaientai gets in a fight over who comes in but it’s Dick Togo (Best name EVER) who gets the job. All four guys come in again but they can’t combine to lift Silva’s legs. Silva sends all four of them into the corner and crushes them at once before Kurrgan comes in to whip one into the other three. Silva throws Taka over the top onto the other three as this is complete dominance. Back in and Golga tries a seated senton on Mens Teioh but Taka and Togo hit a double dropkick to stagger him.
Two members of the team combine to slam him and four straight top rope splashes followed by four straight legdrops get no cover. A quadruple dropkick has Golga in trouble but a quadruple clothesline puts Kaientai down. The hot tag brings in Kurrgan who takes down everyone in sight and hits a wicked side slam on Funaki. Everything breaks down as managers Luna Vachon and Yamaguchi-San get in a fight. A quadruple chokeslam is good for the pin by Golga on everyone from Japan.
Rating: C-. The match was nothing but comedy, it was overly long, Golga is the only Oddity that could do a thing in the ring…..and I can’t help but love the Oddities. There’s just something so innocently goofy about them that I smile every time I see Kurrgan do his dance. The match sucked but it has no expectations coming in so it’s completely harmless.
Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac
Hair vs. Hair here and Jarrett has Southern Justice (the Godwinns) with him. They combined to cut Howard Finkel’s hair earlier tonight so he’s in Pac’s corner in case the ending wasn’t obvious yet. Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter throws Southern Justice out before we get going. In something I never thought I’d see, Fink does the crotch chop. Jeff jumps Pac from behind but a spinwheel kick and a clothesline puts Jarrett on the floor. A big dive takes him out again and the crowd is into X-Pac.
Back in and Jeff hits a pair of great dropkicks to send Pac out to the floor. Pac is crotched against the post and Jarrett pounds away in the ring. A snap powerslam gets two but Pac comes back with a tornado DDT for two. The crowd continues to be white hot as Finkel plays cheerleader. Some kicks in the corner have Jarrett in trouble but he grabs a quick sleeper to stop X-Pac’s momentum.
As is always the case when Jarrett puts someone in a sleeper, the other guy hooks a quick sleeper on Jeff but gets reversed into the corner. Pac misses a cross body out of the corner to give Jarrett two and it’s Figure Four time. The hold stays on for a very long time but Pac gets twoo close to the ropes, making Jeff let go to put it on again. The break lets Pac kick him into the corner before taking Jeff’s head off with a spinwheel kick. There’s the Bronco Buster and X-Pac rolls through a high cross body for two.
A Jarrett leapfrog is countered into a sitout powerbomb for two and Howard is starting to panic. Another Bronco Buster attempt is countered by a low blow but Jarrett stops to hit the Fink, allowing the X Factor to connect for a VERY close two. Southern Justice is back but Dennis Knight (Phineas) drops a guitar, giving Pac the shot to Jarrett for the pin.
Rating: C. Not bad here but it went a bit too long for what they were trying to do. If Southern Justice could come out at the end, where were they for the other ten minutes of the match? The haircut was the move that Jarrett needed as he changed his entire character from Tennessee Guy to chauvinist pig soon after this.
The Outlaws, the Headbangers and Droz come out to hold Jarrett’s arms down for the haircut. This is the debut of Jarrett’s short hair which he’s had almost ever since.
Michael Cole asks Rock about attacking HHH’s knee with the IC Title belt on Sunday Night Heat. Rock threatens to smack Cole with the belt if he asks another stupid question. Tonight he proves he’s the people’s champ. Cole: “Thank you Rock and back…..” Rock: “Shut up. Back to the jabronis at ringside.”
Jacqueline/Marc Mero vs. Sable/???
This is the final blowoff of the long Mero vs. Sable feud. The mystery partner is Edge who has only been around for a month or so at this time. The guys start things off with Edge hitting some quick Japanese armdrags. Off to Jackie who demands Sable come in but runs off to Mero as soon as the blonde comes in. Edge hits a quick flapjack but Jackie trips him up to give Mero a free shot.
The million dollar kneelift puts Edge down and Jackie chokes even more. Mero’s TKO is countered into a DDT and it’s off to the girls again. Sable hits her kicks in the corner and a forearm to knock Marc to the floor but she can’t powerbomb Mero. Jackie gets in a cheap shot but gets caught in a passable TKO (fireman’s carry into a cutter) for two as Mero makes a save.
Jackie accidentally drills Mero (he’s having a bad night) and it’s back to the guys for a dive from Edge. Jackie tries to choke Edge but gets spanked for her efforts. Back in and a high cross gets two for Edge and drops Mero with a neckbreaker out of the corner. Marc comes back with a Samoan drop but gets crotched going up. Sable gets the tag and hits a top rope rana for one. Jackie’s save messes up and everything breaks down. The Downward Spiral lays out Mero and Edge drops Sable on top of him for the pin and a big pop.
Rating: C-. The match kind of sucked but Sable was WAY over. You have to remember how big of a deal she was back then to keep this in context. Sable was the final thing you would see on Raw a lot of the time, much like Cena is today. The biggest problem I still have with this match is what JR says at the end: “SHE DID IT!” This was all about Sable and Edge, the guy they were trying to rub, could have been any other guy.
Mankind doesn’t know what to do because Kane can’t wrestle tonight and he’s lost his sledgehammer. Maybe Michael Cole can be his partner tonight. Or maybe Mankind can go out and play in traffic. If the people want their money’s worth, that’s what he’s willing to do. Vince comes up to calm Mankind down and reminds him of his legacy in MSG. If Mankind can win a handicap match in MSG, he’ll be in the Hall of Fame by Tuesday.
Mankind doesn’t have a weapon but Vince brings him up a cookie sheet. “I’m handing you immortality on a silver platter!” Mankind says if the Outlaws have a problem with him beating them both, he has thirteen words for them: how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. Foley was feeling it here and is pretty keyed up to be in MSG.
We recap Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock. Hart has been trained by Dan Severn, Shamrock’s old UFC rival, to set up a Lion’s Den match which is basically a UFC cage knockoff.
Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock
This is in a theater adjacent to MSG. You win by submission or knockout I believe but JR isn’t really clear on it. It’s a cool visual if nothing else. Shamrock rams him into the cage before taking him down to the mat where we start trading submissions. Ken pounds away at the head and suplexes Owen down before choking away. Owen hits a legal low blow to escape but Shamrock clotheslines him down with ease. I think that passes the point of logical no selling.
Shamrock chokes Owen with his shirt before taking him down with an easy throw. Owen finally realizes he can’t go toe to toe with Ken and rams him face first into the cage. Hart pounds away against the cage and lays Shamrock out with an enziguri. A hot shot into the cage sets up a backbreaker but Shamrock backdrops out of a piledriver. Another kick to Ken’s head changes control again but Shamrock wins a quick slugout. He runs up the cage for a back elbow then kicks Owen in the face.
Hart comes right back with a powerslam and a belly to belly sets up the Sharpshooter. In an awesome counter, Shamrock crawls over to the cage and pulls himself up the wall to escape the hold. A tornado DDT off the wall puts Owen down and a spinwheel kick does the same. Owen sends him into the cage and tries a dragon sleeper but Shamrock walks up the cage to backflip out and the ankle lock gets the submission.
Rating: B. This was different than your usual wrestling match but more importantly it was fun. These two beat the tar out of each other and the whole thing worked very well. Notice the main difference here than what you would get today: you never heard the letters UFC here, meaning there’s nothing to compare it to, making this match seem more impressive. Today you would hear UFC and Ultimate Fighting dropped every two seconds and it would just make you want to watch a UFC show.
Austin is ready.
Tag Titles: Mankind vs. New Age Outlaws
Mankind and Kane are the champions but as mentioned Kane is missing. This is no holds barred and falls count anywhere, making this a hardcore match. The Outlaws are ridiculously over and Mankind is approaching his face turn if not almost already there. Billy and Roadie bring a dumpster to the ring but Mankind meets them with the cookie sheet. He and Billy both get chairs and Mankind wins a quick duel but the numbers game catches up with him.
They take turns hitting him in the head with metal objects and hit a prototype Conchairto for good measure. Mankind comes back with a running knee to crush the cookie sheet into Roadie’s face and gets two off a neckbreaker to Gunn. Dogg breaks up the elbow off the apron and the Outlaws ram Mankind’ s head into the dumpster. Roadie sets up a table in the corner but Mankind sends Gunn through it instead. The reverse 3D gets two for Dogg and the fans are trying to get behind Mankind. A powerbomb through two chairs is only good for two but a spike piledriver onto a title belt is good for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was a weird match as the Outlaws were the automatic heels despite the fans liking them. That being said, it’s Mick Foley in New York. The guy is over like free beer in a frat house so there’s no way the fans are going to be against him. Billy and Road Dogg wrestled like heels here but as JR said, they’re not breaking any rules and they want their titles back. It’s not like you can blame them, but you were supposed to which just made it weird.
Post match the Outlaws go to put Mankind in the dumpster but Kane pops out. He pulls out the sledgehammer and crushes Mankind’s head, officially turning Mankind face.
We recap HHH vs. The Rock. These two led their respective factions in a major war over the summer and this is the final blowoff (not really but for all intents and purposes it was done after this). Rock is Intercontinental Champion and the belt is being held above the ring for a ladder match. The idea is there’s no one left to help Rock or HHH and it’s all about who is the better man.
Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH
Rock has held the title since December and there hasn’t been a longer reign since. The DX band plays HHH to the ring. Chyna and Mark Henry are the seconds here. The referee takes a long time to get the belt ready which is why it’s usually above the ring when the match begins. Rock talks some trash and the fight is on. A quick clothesline takes the champion down and a facebuster does the same. HHH escapes the Rock Bottom but gets punched down in the corner.
A quick Pedigree attempt is countered with a backdrop to the floor and Rock goes for the ladder. As is the custom, there’s a fight over who gets to bring the ladder into the ring. HHH takes the fight back to the ring before going after a ladder. This time it’s Rock’s turn to stop the attempt and they fight in the aisle again. Rock gets a ladder up against the ring and whips HHH HARD into the steel.
The champion starts his climb but HHH flies in off the top to break it up, but the ladder falls on him to keep both guys down. A hard ladder shot puts Rock down again and HHH drives the top of the ladder into his ribs. Rock pulls HHH off the ladder and the future Game lands on his knee, legitimately injuring it and requiring several months off to heal up. Some elbows to the knee make the pain even worse but the ladder being dropped on it is far more painful.
Rock puts the leg between the ladder legs and crushes it with the chair for good measure. Now the leg is wrapped around the post and the fans are split. Rock bridges the ladder between the steps and the barricade so he can drop the knee across the steel. The ladder is barely in one piece so Rock’s climbing is very slow, allowing HHH to make a last second save. He also shoves the ladder down until his knee can recover a bit.
Rock is shoved to the floor but he catches HHH in a catapult face first into the ladder. The champion tries to slam the ladder onto HHH but a kick to the ribs makes him drop the ladder. A clothesline puts Rock down but he counters a Pedigree into a backdrop onto the ladder. Mark Henry throws in another ladder but Rock does the slowest climb in recorded history, allowing HHH to shove it down again. HHH baseball slides the top of the ladder into Rock’s face to send him to the floor, busting him open bad.
Now it’s time for HHH to climb up but Rock makes another save to send HHH crashing to the mat. Rock puts a ladder on top of the corner and plants HHH with a DDT. Both guys slowly climb for a slugout on top but it’s HHH being shoved off into the ladder in the corner. With one last rush he shoves Rock’s ladder over to get us back to even again. Chyna slides HHH a chair and knocks the ladder into Rock before beating the chair into the ladder over and over again.
HHH can’t follow up so Rock slams him down onto the ladder and hits a People’s Elbow to get the crowd on his side again. HHH somehow gets up again and tries a climb but makes the mistake of diving onto Rock for a Rock Bottom. Rock goes up but HHH pulls him back down for a Pedigree as JR is losing his mind on these big moves. HHH tries to get up but Henry throws powder in his eyes. A blind HHH goes up but can’t see the belt. Rock goes up as well but it’s Chyna with a low blow, allowing HHH to pull down the belt for the win.
Rating: A+. This was a history making match as these two are officially the future and it was time for Rock to ascend to the top of the company. The match is one of my all time favorites and it’s an overlooked masterpiece because of the series these two had in 2000. These two went to war and had Madison Square Garden, the smark capital of the world, eating out of the palm of their hand. That’s only happened a handful of times ever and this was one of the best ever.
As for the match itself it worked for a variety of reasons. More than anything else though it was due to the ladder being a prop for the guys rather than the focus of the match. The story built around the leg injury and the drama instead of the big spots. It’s very rare that you get a ladder match like this anymore and the match is absolute required viewing as a result.
WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Steve Austin
Do you really need more of an explanation than that? If you’ve never seen the video for this set to Highway to Hell, make sure to check it out as it’s one of the best ever. The basckstory is Undertaker wants the title back and might be in league with Vince in order to do so. He’s also guaranteed that Kane will NOT interfere in this match. Taker is a tweener at this point as he has all the characteristics of being evil but hasn’t made the turn yet.
Austin fires off right hands in the corner to start but Undertaker throws him into the corner to take over. A clothesline gets two on Austin and there’s a double bird. They trade arm control until Austin takes him down with a drop toehold (!) into a hammerlock. Taker fights out of an armbar and whips Austin into the ropes for the spot that changes the entire match: Taker ducks down and gets kicked in the face, but the challenger’s head snaps up and rams into Austin’s chin, breaking his jaw and knocking him silly for the rest of the match.
Taker hits a quick suplex and a hot shot as Austin is still getting his head together. Some punches in the corner put Austin down again but Steve pulls him to the floor and rams Taker’s leg into the apron. It goes around the post as well before Austin takes him back inside before being taking the jumping clothesline. Old School is countered with a hip toss off the top and Austin stomps away on the leg.
Kane pops up at the entrance but Undertaker tells him to go back. The brawl keeps going but Austin goes to the floor to make sure Kane is gone. A somewhat sloppy chokeslam brings Austin back in but he clotheslines Taker to the floor. They fight into the crowd with Taker backdropping Austin onto the concrete. Back to ringside with Austin being rammed back first into the post, making JR scream that Austin may be paralyzed. That would be two years in a row if true.
Austin fights out of the corner but gets sent back first to the apron again. Back to the floor and Taker loads up the announce table which is always scary. He chokes Austin out on the table and goes up top for a HUGE legdrop off the top but the table DOESN’T BREAK! Austin slides off the table and the crash looks great. Back in and Austin is just gone but he kicks out at two. Austin gets up a boot in the corner and they clothesline each other down again.
Back up and Austin wins a slugout but there’s almost nothing behind his punches. There’s the Thesz Press and the (lacking middle fingers) elbow. Austin is whipped hard into the corner and tries a Stunner but Taker falls backwards in an awkward fall for two. Taker comes back with a chokeslam but the tombstone is countered into a very ugly sequence culminating in Austin being crotched. A Russian legsweep puts Austin down and Taker loads up Old School, but Austin crotches him on the top and the Stunner retains the title.
Rating: B-. The injury crippled them out there as Austin was totally out of it for about 90% of this match. The match isn’t terrible but it’s way below what they were shooting for and what the fans were expecting. It was a good idea to keep Kane out of this and it keeps Taker’s character ambiguous which is the right call here. That injury just stopped everything cold here though and dragged the match way down.
Post match Taker hands Austin the belt and walks away to stand next to Kane in the entrance.
Overall Rating: A-. This was built up as one of the biggest Summerslams of all time and that’s exactly how it comes off. Everything feels like a big deal and there’s a masterpiece with the ladder match. The main event was a bit disappointing but considering the injury it’s really quite good. It’s definitely a show worth seeing with the WWF putting their foot down on WCW’s neck and knowing they were on fire.
Ratings Comparison
Val Venis vs. D’Lo Brown
Original: B
Redo: C+
Oddities vs. Kaientai
Original: C-
Redo: C-
Jeff Jarrett vs. X-Pac
Original: B
Redo: C
Marc Mero/Jacqueline vs. Sable/Edge
Original: F
Redo: C-
Ken Shamrock vs. Owen Hart
Original: B-
Redo: B
Mankind vs. New Age Outlaws
Original: D+
Redo: D+
HHH vs. The Rock
Original: A+
Redo: A+
Steve Austin vs. Undertaker
Original: B-
Redo: B-
Overall Rating
Original: B
Redo: A-
Most of the matches are rated higher and the overall rating is lower. Sounds like one of my old reviews.
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Wrestler of the Day – July 3: Road Dogg
You didn’t know? Why didn’t you know? You really should know this. Today is Road Dogg.
Road Dogg debuted under his real name of Brian Armstrong in a match in 1986. He would leave for the Marine Corps after one match and not be back until 1991. That wouldn’t last either as he had another tour of duty in the Gulf War. He would finally show up in SMW as a full time guy. Here he is in a match from some point in 1992.
Killer Kyle vs. Brian Armstrong
Kyle, Jim Cornette’s enforcer, shoves Brian down to start but Brian hammers away and grabs a wristlock. Brian gets hammered down with ease and a side slam gets two. A slingshot belly to back suplex gets two but Brian comes back with a Russian legsweep (his brother Brad’s finisher) for a pin out of nowhere.
Armstrong would become the Dark Secret in SMW and job a lot, including in this match against Chris Candido on September 26, 1993.
Dark Secret vs. Chris Candido
Candido is the World Wrestling Association Jr. Heavyweight Champion and he’s feuding with SMW Jr. Heavyweight Champion Bobby Blaze. He’s also wearing a bonnet due to losing a match recently but he can take it off if he wins. Jim Cornette is guest referee for no apparent reason. Dutch Mantell, better known today as Zeb Colter, is on commentary. Candido takes him into the corner to start and there’s something up. Chris is hitting him as softly as possible and lays him down on a slam. A clothesline allows Dark Secret to lay down for the pin and the bonnet comes off. Funny idea if nothing else.
Armstrong would be in WCW for a very short time, but he had a match against a big name on Saturday Night, August 13, 1994.
Brian Armstrong vs. Steve Austin
Austin is US Champion but this is non-title. Brian has his best known haircut by this point. Steve offers a handshake but Brian is too smart for that one. Austin easily takes him down and puts on a chinlock before driving a knee into the ribs. Some knees to the head have Armstrong in trouble and Steve goes after the leg, setting up a standing Figure Four for the submission.
It would be off to the WWF soon after this with Armstrong becoming the Roadie for Jeff Jarrett, a country singer. They would occasionally team together, such as in this match at In Your House #1.
Jeff Jarrett/Roadie vs. Razor Ramon
Handicap match here after Roadie (more famous as the Road Dogg) helped Jarrett take Razor’s Intercontinental Title at the Royal Rumble. Razor’s normal partner the 1-2-3 Kid is out with an injury and calls in to say he’s watching the match. In the back, Razor also dedicates this match to his mom. Vince yells about Roadie and Jarrett both being in the ring to start, prompting Hayes to say that Vince doesn’t make the rules around here in a funny line.
Jarrett starts for the team and is promptly punched down and then slapped in the face. Roadie is lurking around the floor before getting back up on the apron. Back in and Jeff misses a dropkick before being clotheslined hard out to the floor. Roadie gets in a cheap shot to take Razor down from behind, allowing Jarrett to connect with an enziguri to take over. Not that it matters though as Ramon catches Jeff’s cross body in the fallaway slam for two.
Roadie comes in for his first match and scores with a quick clothesline and a snapmare to put him down. Back to Jarrett who gets a quick two off a sunset flip before Razor gets the same off a small package. Not exactly thrilling stuff so far but they’re not boring the people to death. After more basic stuff from Roadie it’s back to Jeff, only to have him jump right into a punch to the ribs. Razor is backdropped out to the floor and there goes his bad knee again. Roadie adds a middle rope clothesline and Ramon is in big trouble.
Back in and Ramon is dazed but still manages to roll through a top rope cross body from Jeff into a two count, only to be taken right back down with a neckbreaker. Jeff’s running hip attack only hits ropes but Razor collides with him, putting both guys down again. Ramon has the word Kid written on his boots. Back up again and Razor hits a belly to back suplex, putting both guys down one more time.
Jeff is able to make the tag before Razor can get up and it’s Roadie hitting a middle rope knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Razor fights up and jawbreaks his way to freedom, putting both guys down for the third time in five minutes. Razor suplexes both guys down but Jeff goes to the bad knee to slow him up. The Figure Four is kicked away though, sending Jeff into Roadie and a quick Razor’s Edge takes Jeff out for the pin.
Rating: C. Not bad here but it could have been the same match in about half the time. On top of that the knee injury really didn’t play much of a role in the match after the announcers talked so much about how bad Razor’s knee was. This feud wouldn’t last much longer but it worked pretty well for both Jarrett and Ramon.
Roadie would leave the WWF before we got to the big ordeal about who was really singing Jarrett’s songs. After a little while back in the USWA and Smoky Mountain, the Roadie wuld come back to the WWF as Jesse James. Now we get to one of the matches that changed tag team wrestling for years. From In Your House 14.
Jesse James vs. Rockabilly
Oh let’s get this over with. Jesse James is the returning Roadie, who was revealed as being the voice that Jeff Jarrett was lip synching to. The debuting Rockabilly is Billy Gunn, but now as a dancer under Honky Tonk Man’s tutelage, following months of Honky looking for his new protege. It’s even more confusing since Billy punched Honky two weeks ago. Billy kicks away at Jesse’s ribs and comes back with a dropkick, sending Billy to the floor. A clothesline off the apron takes Billy down and Jesse says he’s coming for Honky next.
Back in and Billy scores with a dropkick of his own before posing a bit. The match slows down a lot as Billy is more interested in dancing than going for a win. Now it’s off to a chinlock before Billy rakes the eyes to slow James down. A corner splash misses and Billy hits the post and eventually James gets up to pounds away in the corner. Billy sends him to the floor before bringing it back inside for more dancing. As usual this goes badly as his suplex is countered into a small package by Jesse for a fast pin.
Rating: D. Egads this show has been horrible so far. This is another feud that went on for months with no one caring, though in this case there would be something good to come out of it. We’ll get to that later, but for now there was nothing to see here and no one was interested in these two at this point.
These two would fight quite a bit and lead to something interesting on Shotgun Saturday Night on September 20, 1997.
Los Boricuas vs. Rockabilly/Jesse James
It’s Jose and Jesus for Los Boricuas in case you care for some reason. Los Boricuas get jumped from behind with Jesus being elbowed in the face to give Billy control. Jesus comes back with an armdrag, only to be clotheslined down for no cover. James comes in for an elbow drop but Billy misses a Stinger Splash. A hot tag to Jose has no heat at all and everything breaks down. Billy and Jesus fall to the floor and Billy cracks Jose over the head with a guitar for the pin. Jesse and Billy would feud a bit longer before calling themselves the New Age Outlaws. This was their first match as a team though.
The team would become the New Age Outlaws and become something close to the Honky Tonk Man of the tag team division after actually winning the titles from the Legion of Doom. The LOD was supposed to squash them at In Your House 19.
Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws
The Outlaws have their signature entrance in place but it’s not down to perfection yet. The LOD chases them up the aisle when the Outlaws want to stretch a bit beforehand. Road Dogg continues to run his mouth before getting in the ring until some officials force them back towards ringside where the LOD tosses them back inside. Animal beats on Road Dogg to start and clotheslines him down. Off to Hawk for some right hands and a dropkick, sending Road Dogg out to the floor.
Back in and Hawk hits a neckbreaker to send Dogg back to the floor for a meeting with Billy. Hawk clotheslines both guys down from the apron and kicks Dogg in the face for good measure. A rake to the face sends Dogg to the floor for the third time where he is sent face first into the announce table. All LOD so far and it’s back to Animal who catches Dogg’s leapfrog in a powerbomb for two.
They head outside for the fifth time where Billy gets dropped face first onto the steps, putting him in just as much pain as his partner. The champions try to leave but the LOD will have none of that and drag the Outlaws back to the ring. With the referee distracted, Billy hits Hawk low and Road Dogg finds a cooler of soft drinks to crack him over the back. Back in and the Outlaws actually get to take over with Road Dogg getting two off a dropkick.
Billy comes in legally for the first time and distracts the referee, allowing Dogg to get in a cheap shot from the apron. Gunn hooks a neck crank but Hawk fights up, only to have a double clothesline put both guys down. A double tag brings in Animal to powerslam Dogg before crushing him with a shoulder block. LOD loads up the Doomsday Device but the referee is with Billy, allowing the Godwinns to come in with their buckets. Hawk takes it away and wears out the Outlaws for the DQ.
Rating: D+. The match wasn’t much but it got the LOD away from the title picture for awhile. The Outlaws were the breath of air that the division had been starving for since about 1995 and the impact was quickly felt. Their matches never were all that great but they were eventually so ridiculously over that it didn’t matter.
The Outlaws would start to become a big deal and would get a chance to win their titles back on Monday Night Raw, March 30, 1998.
Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws
Road Dogg is wearing a JOB Squad t-shirt for some reason. The old guys jump them as they get in and the fight is on. Funk has a BAD bruise on his back/hip. Gunn gets suplexed into the cage and is hung upside down from the top of the cage. There are no tags in this. This is a total mess but that’s supposed to be the point so it works.
Funk is tied to the cage with something. Cactus manages to get a double DDT but it’s a handicap match now. Funk gets an arm free but can’t untie himself. He’s tied by his throat. Jack and Gunn go up to the corner and Billy gets crotched. DX comes in and Pac blasts Cactus with a chair and a spike Piledriver onto said chair gives the Outlaws the titles again.
Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because it was a big mess, but that was the idea here. Also the whole point of this was to show that DX had fresh blood in it as the Outlaws are officially part of DX now. This was a perfect fit as they were all about the lack of respect and all that jazz. They worked rather well in that role too.
Here’s a rematch with the LOD at In Your House 21.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. LOD 2000
LOD 2000 is nothing all that different, including that they’re challenging tonight. It’s still Hawk and Animal but with helmets on the way to the ring and Sunny as a manager. Road Dogg says they’ve brought University of North Carolina basketball coach Dean Smith out of retirement for one night only but it’s actually a blowup doll. Billy starts with Animal but is quickly taken down by a shoulder block. Gunn misses a cross body and gets taken down by another flying tackle.
Road Dogg comes in and has his arm cranked on before it’s off to Hawk for an ax handle to the shoulder. A powerslam puts Dogg down and a jumping fist to the face sends him crawling into the corner. Gunn is literally pulled into the ring for a botched slam and a shoulder breaker for two. Animal comes back in for a chinlock as this has been one sided so far. Another powerslam gets another two on Gunn before it’s back to Road Dogg. The LOD immediately loads up the Doomsday Device but Gunn comes in with a chop block to break it up.
Roadie puts Animal in a spinning toehold and drags the bad leg into the corner so Billy can wrap it around the post a few times. Back in and Dogg puts on a leg lock before driving his own knees into Animal’s knee. Billy drives a knee in as well before cranking on a leg lock of his own.
Back to Dogg for some punches in the corner and some choking from Billy. Gunn comes in but can’t piledrive Animal, getting caught in a leg drag instead. The hot tag brings in Hawk to clean house as everything breaks down. Hawk hits a top rope splash on Dogg but Billy hits him in the back with a tag belt….for two. Dogg hits Gunn in the face with a belt and a German suplex by Hawk gives the LOD the titles back.
Rating: D. So basically it was the same match as last time but with the LOD regaining the belts instead of losing again? That doesn’t really make me want to see more from the LOD as they’re just too far gone in years at this point. It’s not as bad as the Rock N Roll Express but it’s still not working at all.
Here’s a rare singles match from Raw on October 5, 1998.
Road Dogg vs. Mark Henry
There’s no Billy here so Roadie brings in a blowup doll. Lawler gets the papers that Chyna was served earlier and it’s a sexual harassment by Henry. Road Dogg takes over to start and hits the shaky knee for two. He walks into what would become known as the World’s Strongest Slam to give Henry the advantage. Brown trips up Dogg and a legdrop to the back of the head half kills him. Chyna comes out and drills Brown, allowing Pac to kick Henry low and hit an X Factor for Dogg to get the pin. Another short match.
Road Dogg would get in on the new hardcore division, including this title show on Raw, December 21, 1998.
Hardcore Title: Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man
Boss Man takes over to start and whips Road Dogg into the corner and out to the floor. He takes too much time though and Roadie gets something made of metal and cracks the champ in the head to take over. A shot with the steps hit the post instead of Road Dogg but Boss Man gets in a shot with the same piece of metal from earlier to knock Road Dogg into the crowd.
Road Dogg gets thrown into the technical area and then choked by a pole of some kind. These early hardcore matches were wild messes which is the appropriate kind of match to have actually. Back to the ring and Boss Man whips Roadie with a thick belt. Boss Man pulls out some powder and gets it knocked back into his own eyes. Road Dogg whips him with the belt and it’s back into the crowd.
Boss Man finds a fan (as in one you use to cool off a room) somewhere and gets in a shot to slow Road Dogg down. Now he’s got a noose and chokes out Road Dogg for two in the middle of the crowd. A low blow from Road Dogg stops Boss Man and he puts a trashcan over the champ before diving off a wall onto him. The noose is still around Roadie’s neck though and he gets whipped into some walls with it. Here’s Mankind from the concourse with a net to tie up Boss Man. Mankind breaks something over Boss Man’s head and Road Dogg pins him for the title.
Rating: B-. That’s likely too high but I liked this a lot for some reason. It was a huge mess and that’s the idea of a hardcore match. They had to take something from the Corporation eventually just to stop the bleeding on the other side a bit. Road Dogg was very popular so giving him a title makes as much sense as anyone else. This was a fun match too.
Around this time, Dogg would start cleaning up his personal life. Here is his reward from Raw on March 15, 1999.
Intercontinental Title: Road Dogg vs. Val Venis
This is because Venis, the champion, pinned Road Dogg in a tag match on Heat. Trust me: that’s far from the most backwards thing tonight. Road Dogg says he’ll win and become the Intercontinental Champion of the world. Dogg misses a charges into the corner to start and Val pounds away. A spinebuster gets two for the champion as do some elbows. Apparently Venis has guaranteed a win in three minutes.
There’s a powerslam to the Dogg but the Money Shot misses. Dogg starts pounding away and hits the shaky knee drop and a pumphandle slam for two. The construction guys are still working and have a power saw going. A snap suplex gets two for Val but Roadie catches him in a DDT for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. The match was nothing of note and I really have no idea why the title change happened. Val wasn’t the best champion ever but he had a feud going on for the title with three other guys, but now Road Dogg is champion. Nothing to see here as the main focus was on the carpenters at ringside.
DX would break up later in the year and like a divorced couple, they fought over the rights to the name. Here’s the battle at Fully Loaded 1999.
Chyna/Billy Gunn vs. Road Dogg/X-Pac
The winner gets to call themselves DX. Ok then. Seriously, how did we never get the big Gunn vs. Dogg feud? They had a few matches but nothing big or long. Remember Pac got beaten up by Show and Taker so he’s not at full speed. Billy and Chyna have matching tights, including thongs.
After the usual intro from Roadie, we’re on. Something tells me the beating earlier was due to some slight to acute intoxication. Pretty sure the all male team is heel here but I’m not sure. Ok maybe it’s the opposite. God bless Russo. They argue over who started DX. Only Chyna can have a claim to that. The Outlaws finally explode and yep, Chyna and Gunn are heels. Chyna is rather sluggish here. Crowd isn’t really caring.
Why in the world do she and Pac need to be there? Gunn vs. Roadie is the MONEY feud here but they never pulled the trigger on it. Gunn hits a Jackhammer. Pac finally gets the tag and cleans ring for a bit and then that ends as he has to be beaten on to be worth anything apparently. This is a rather boring match to say the least. Ross makes gay jokes about Gunn’s tights. Pumphandle on Billy ends it.
Rating: D. Total misfire here as I was so bored on this whole match. Nothing of note here other than Chyna looking good of course. The angle was ok but there was zero point to this being a tag and not some form of the Outlaws going one on one. At the end of the day though, this is still way better than Harlem Heat fighting over Booker’s T. Seriously that happened.
One more Outlaws title defense, from Royal Rumble 2000.
Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws
The Outlaws are defending and there’s a backstory that doesn’t deserve to be listed. Who would have thought that THIRTEEN YEARS LATER the Outlaws would be on house shows for the WWE again? The Outlaws are heels here but they’re over like free beer in a frat house here in New York. The APA storms the ring and the beating is on quickly. Bradshaw and Billy officially get us started with Billy taking a fast beating. Both guys tag as the referee is adjusting his ear piece.
Faarooq imitates Dogg’s dance before getting double teamed a bit. Bradshaw breaks up the shaky knee drop and everything breaks down. The Clothesline kills Billy and there’s the spinebuster to Roadie….but Billy pulls the referee out. The ref is bumped and Road Dogg is hit with a double powerbomb. X-Pac runs in and kicks Bradshaw’s head off. The Fameasser to the future JBL retains the titles in like two and a half minutes. This had to be cut for time. The Outlaws would lose the titles to the Dudleys next month and that would be the end of the team.
Road Dogg would hook up with K-Kwik in a new team and participate at the 2000 Survivor Series.
Radicalz vs. Team Chyna
Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero
Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna
Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.
Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean comes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.
Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.
Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.
Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.
James would be fired soon after this for drug issues and head to the WWA promotion. He made it to the finals of their World Title Tournament on their Inception pay per view.
WWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Road Dogg
Bret comes out to do commentary and they fill even more time with long entrances. Jeff takes Dogg down to start and pounds away in the corner. There’s a cameraman in the ring which is kind of distracting. It also doesn’t help that the closeups show that a lot of the shots aren’t hitting. Dogg hits the shaky punches and knee drop for two. I think you can win by escape too but it’s not really clear.
Dogg gets sent into the cage but he comes back and sends Jeff into it as well. This is as basic as you can get so far but it’s nothing bad. Jeff gets sent into the cage again as Dogg takes over. Both guys go to the top and Jeff climbs down….but that doesn’t count here, making the whole cage pretty worthless. A bell shot busts Jeff open and they head back in for a sleeper from Jarrett. There is literally blood dripping down onto the mat from Jeff’s head. That’s sick stuff man.
Road Dogg gets up at two arm drops and rams Jeff into the cage to escape the hold. Dogg puts on a sleeper of his own but Jeff suplexes him down for two. A forearm from Roadie takes out the referee and Jeff walks out the door to pick up his guitar. The guitar kills Dogg and Jeff puts him in the Sharpshooter but Bret won’t let the bell ring. It’s a cage match so why is this illegal? A second referee comes in and gets bumped and Dogg low blows Jarrett. Now Dogg puts Jeff in the Sharpshooter but Bret STILL won’t ring the bell. Roadie steals the belt from Bret, misses a shot with it and takes the Stroke to give Jeff the title.
Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me. After the night of overdone matches, they overdo it even more to end the show? Even in 2001 the Montreal stuff was old and no one was interested in it anymore. The match was getting good at the end but I don’t think many people bought Dogg as a legit threat.
Like many wrestlers on the WWA roster, Road Dogg would head to TNA as BG James. Here’s one of his first matches from TNA Weekly PPV #15.
Curt Hennig/BG James/Syxx-Pac vs. Jeff Jarrett/Brian Lawler/Ron Killings
BG and Jarrett get things going but Curt gets the tag before there’s any contact. Mike is immediately running through Curt’s career resume which is one of his trademarks anymore. No contact until about a minute in when Curt hits a single right hand to knock Jeff into the corner. Hennig runs Jeff over and chops Jarrett’s partners down for fun. Back in and Jeff fires off right hands of his own followed by a Hennig neck snap to Hennig, earning him a right hand for gimmick infringement.
Jeff is sent to the floor again as Lawler is freaking out. Back in and it’s Lawler vs. Syxx-Pac with Brian missing a cross body but coming back with a powerslam. Off to the world champion who gets punched in the face by BG but nips back up, only to walk into the big right hand to put Truth back down. Back up and Truth does the splits to avoid a clothesline and hits the ax kick for two. Jarrett comes back in but misses his running crotch attack on the ropes, only to have Truth come back in to keep control.
Lawler gets the tag and drops BG with a neckbreaker for two and it’s back to Jarrett again. Jeff walks into a clothesline and it’s hot tag to Syxx-Pac. Kicks abound but the Bronco Buster hits a boot between the legs as Pac plays some Ricky Morton. Truth powerslams him down and it’s back to Jarrett with a suplex for two. Really basic stuff at the moment and it’s not exactly thrilling. Back to Lawler for a chinlock but Pac fights up with something resembling a Sky High.
The real hot tag (minus the heat) brings in Hennig and house is cleaned. BG chases Jarrett up the ramp with a chair as Lawler hits Hennig low to put him down. A guillotine legdrop gets two as Pac makes the save and gets two of his own on Truth with the X-Factor. Lawler takes out the referee and here’s the man in white, now with Mr. Wrestling III written on the back of his jacket to powerbomb Truth down. The PerfectPlex is enough to pin Truth.
Rating: D+. It wasn’t the worst match in the world and it definitely picked up near the end, but this was a bad sign for the main event picture. At the end of the day, these guys aren’t moving well at all and the matches range from passable at best to boring and sluggish at worst. This wasn’t horrible but at nearly fifteen minutes it went on WAY too long.
We’ll jump ahead to BG as part of the 3 Live Kru and challenging for the World Tag Team Titles at Victory Road 2004.
Tag Titles: 3 Live Kru vs. Team Canada
Team Canada here is Bobby (Robert) Roode and Eric Young while 3LK is Konnan and Road Dogg. They use the Freebird rule to fight and will use it if they win the belts here, along with Ron Killings. Anyway, this is the finale of a long feud between them which of course didn’t end here. We start with Roadie and Roode. For the life of me I do not get the hype on this guy. He’s ok and that’s it.
People to this day think he could be a main event guy. Why? Tell me one thing that he could do that would validate him as a main event guy. And I don’t mean a line like just watch him or how can’t you see it. Pretend I’m stupid and tell me what it is that this guy has that makes him a big star. Konnan is in now with Young and these two just amuse me to no end.
We have a guy that no one cares about that tries desperately to play up the gimmick of being from another country which makes him interesting when he’s just bland as all goodness otherwise and no one cares about him, and then we have Eric Young. We hit the formula portion of our event with the heels working over Roadie to build up Konnan for the hot tag.
Does anyone else see this sucking harder than a Diva wanting to get a job? I miss Scott D’Amore. The guy was a fat waste but he was a decent talker and heel manager. Nothing great here but it’s kind of like the first Mania where the tag titles changed: it allows you to have a title change so the show is memorable and has some impact to steal a pun from myself.
Konnan finally gets the tag after a heel miscommunication (remember folks: TNA is breaking NEW ground!) spot and cleans house. It of course turns into a brawl with Roadie being fine after having his head handed to him for about 4 minutes. D’Amore tries to use the hockey stick but Killings comes in for the save and a BAD looking X-Factor gives the Kru the titles.
Rating: C. It was average, plain and simple. This match could have been on any TV or house show or PPV and it would have been fine. At seven minutes long they didn’t have much time to get anything substantial going but still, this wasn’t much but it was fine for what it was I suppose.
James would be part of Lethal Lockdown at Lockdown 2005.
Lethal Lockdown: Team Page vs. Team Jarrett
You can bring your own weapons and it’s five minutes to start. Waltman vs. Jarrett to start. Waltman is in street clothes and brings a trash can. I guess he brought his home with him and sold his gear for crack. Jarrett is in street clothes too. Please do not call this a bunkhouse match. He has his own trash can full of weapons too. They fight in the aisle to start.
They’re in the crowd now as the cage sits empty. That’s rather unfair to it. I bet it’s lonely. They fight in the crowd and there’s no camera so we can’t see anything. This is already making my head hurt. And now they separate for awhile as the clock for the five minutes continues to count down. On the announce table now with Jarrett getting destroyed. Dang it there’s a bullrope and cowbell. WHAT IS WRESTLING’S OBSESSION WITH THOSE THINGS???
A chair shot misses Jarrett and after three minutes we’re finally in the cage. Basic cage offense follows with Waltman in control. Bronco Buster misses and both guys are down with forty seconds left. Waltman takes him down as Kip James (not called Outlaw here) is in third. He’s on Team Jarrett and they have a two minute advantage now. What is with the street clothes here?
They spend the vast majority of these two minutes walking around with the occasional stomp coming. DDP comes in and pulls the Singapore cane out like Leonardo pulling out a sword, thereby making him awesome. Things pick up a bit but we’re just killing time here. Monty Brown comes in with DDP controlling for the most part. That’s the last heel to come in.
Brown has a bat and of course a shot to the back of Page doesn’t injure him severely. Jarrett breaks the cane over the back of Page which he still gets up from. The cameraman decides a shot of Jarrett’s legs is more important than whatever the other guys are doing. The final guy is BG James (Road Dogg, who is part of a rap stable with Konnan and R-Truth at this point).
BG hits the referee and we get the showdown between the Outlaws (censored) and it goes nowhere. Bronco Buster to Jarrett. Brown Pounces everyone but Page breaks up the pin. This is more or less just a glorified six man hardcore match. Diamond Cutter to Jarrett gets two as he makes sure to shift over so that Kip can break it up. Waltman and Brown do an awful looking sequence so then they do it again so that Waltman can get the pin.
Rating: D+. Just ok at best here with nothing of note going on. Page’s team wins and the feud more or less went nowhere after this. This was more or less absolutely nothing with too few people, nothing special in terms of violence and just dull overall. Waltman won on a victory roll of all things. A violent match won with a victory roll. Let that sink in a bit.
Eventually BG would reunited with Billy Gunn (Kip James) as the James Gang. Here’s a dream match from Slammiversary 2006.
Team 3D vs. James Gang
This is called a Bingo Hall Brawl. There aren’t intros or anything like that as they’re fighting in the tunnel before we have time for any. This is an open challenge of some kind but the story isn’t really explained. Billy and Ray have a chair duel, resulting in BG James interfering and letting Billy crack Ray with the chair for two. D-Von makes the save and the Dudleys hit the reverse neckbreaker for two.
They brawl into the crowd and over into the LAX area which causes LAX to beat up both teams for some reason. Ray sets up a piece of barricade across a pair of chairs at ringside. BG dives off the steps and over the rail to take out D-Von but Ray blasts him in the head for his efforts. They all go into the crowd and Billy blasts both Dudleys with a trashcan lid. Ray is back at ringside and throws in a trashcan full of weapons.
Everyone is in the ring now and Ray finds….a bra? He chokes Kip (Billy) with it before pulling out the cheese grater. That goes over Kip’s head and we’ve got blood. D-Von and BG hit each other with trashcans and everyone goes down. Team 3D loads up What’s Up but BG gets up a trashcan lid to block the head. Billy hits a Fameasser to Ray onto a trashcan for two.
The fans think this awesome and while that might be a stretch, it’s certainly not that bad. Billy goes for some punches in the corner but he gets caught in a Doomsday Device for two as BG makes the save. Now the fans want tables which of course get loaded up. The fans want fire too but that’s a bit too much to ask apparently. Instead they have to settle for a 3D for Kip through the table for the pin.
Rating: C+. Solid opener here as the fans were way into the violence here, which is what the point of an opener is. The fans think it was awesome and again I think that’s too much of a stretch, but the match was certainly good for what it was supposed to be. Naturally it was because of something WWE was doing at the time (restarting ECW) but that goes with the territory.
They would change their names to the Voodoo Kim Mafia and rip on WWE in a bit that went nowhere. Here’s one of their matches from Hard Justice 2007.
Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. LAX
Just a tag match here. LAX are the good guys here. The fans chant DX rejects for some reason. I mean, they were in DX but rejects? Really? Do TNA fans really think that the HBK/HHH version counts as a major DX incarnation? And they call themselves smart fans. Wow. Kip James (Billy Gunn) looks like he belongs back in Billy and Chuck.
BG (Road Dogg) works over Homicide as we hear about the Steiners being in action later tonight against Team 3D. It’s a dream match, but at the same time the Steiners are old at this point so how dreamy is it? Kip hooks a bearhug on Homicide as I can’t see this match lasting long. Partially that’s because I looked at the match time but ignore that part for now.
The bearhug goes on for awhile as we’re waiting on the hot tag to Hernandez. I don’t get why they didn’t just make the modern version of Mexican America into LAX 2.0. I mean, it is LAX 2.0 but why not just call it that? Here’s Hernandez who cleans house and everything breaks down. Roxxi gets up on the apron to throw something in Hernandez’s eyes. A Fameasser gets the pin. Well it was more like he jumped and then Hernandez fell over but whatever.
Rating: D+. Whatever man. This was like an Impact match but we just had to have it here for some reason. Nothing to see here which is what happens when one guy holds the tag titles and is in the main event in a singles match. The Mafia didn’t mean anything at this point and the fans’ reaction to them seems to prove that.
And one more TNA match with BG in a random drag tag team tournament at Sacrifice 2008.
Deuces Wild Tag Tournament Quarter-Finals: BG James/Awesome Kong vs. Super Eric/AJ Styles
So yeah this is the guy that caused all the problems. I’m shocked too: Eric Young being insane and messing up title situations. AJ is the Prince of Phenomenal or whatever here, meaning he has a crown. James vs. Eric to start us off. AJ tags himself in and speeds things up with the dropkick. Off to Kong and AJ isn’t sure what to do here. She hits the spinning backfist and he’s shaken but not down.
AJ gets in a shot so she hits him in the balls. BG hits an atomic drop and that should be illegal. AJ and Eric are a “normal” team here as Eric is subbing for AJ’s regular partner Tomko who was injured in Japan. Back to Kong who sits on AJ’s chest after a counter to the Awesome Bomb. BG tries his dancing punches so AJ takes him down with a Pele. Hot tag brings in Young who hits a Swanton for two. Eric dives out on Kong as AJ botches a springboard something. They go to a fast ending as AJ rolls up James for the pin. I think there might have been an injury there.
Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t good but it was less bad than the rest of them. The ending might have been due to an injury and if it was then there’s little to complain about. Not a bad match but the losing team had no real reason to be together, especially when you could have had the Outlaws as the other real team and put AJ, Kong, Eric and Morgan in the wild card spots. Then again that would make sense so we know that’s not happening.
After several years off, the Outlaws would return to WWE on Old School Raw on March 4, 2013.
New Age Outlaws vs. Primo/Epico
Dogg and Epico get things started and there are the shaking punches followed by the shaky knee drop for two for Roadie. Primo distracts Dogg though and Epico gets in a dropkick to take over. The cousins work over Roadie with Epico hitting a slingshot elbow for no cover. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Roadie fights up and the two of them collide. Hot tag brings in Billy who pounds away on both guys before getting two off a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down and the Fameasser ends Primo at 2:58.
Then in a final nostalgic run, here’s the pre-show match from the 2014 Royal Rumble.
Pre-Show: Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust
Cody and Goldust are defending and lost a non-title match to the Outlaws to set this up. Road Dogg starts with Cody and is taken down by a quick shoulder block. Back up and Roadie hits his shaky fist but has to duck the Disaster Kick. Gunn comes in off the tag but is quickly sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline as we take a break. Back with Road Dogg dropping a knee on Goldust for two and putting on a chinlock.
Goldust fights back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Billy breaks up a tag attempt as the announcers brag about how Gunn hasn’t aged a bit since the 90s. For 50 years old the guys is in good shape. Goldust finally makes the hot tag and Cody speeds things up, including a double springboard missile dropkick to put both Outlaws down. Cross Rhodes lays out Road Dogg but Billy saves at two. Billy comes in off a blind tag as Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Roadie, setting up the Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:30.
Rating: C. I was surprised here. Not only was this not the result I was expecting, but the match was better than I thought it was going to be. The Brothers had been on one heck of a roll since the fall, but this likely leads into the Authority being corrupt storyline. That doesn’t make sense given that the Outlaws just won the match clean, but I’m assuming that’s the idea.
Road Dogg is best remembered for his talking but he had some good in ring skills as well. He won the Intercontinental Title and a bunch of Hardcore Titles so there had to be something to him. There’s nothing wrong being a mostly career tag team wrestler though and he’s still fondly remembered to this day. Dogg had a very good career and is better remembered than many others.
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Monday Night Raw – April 19, 1999: WWF Needs Ritalin
Monday Night Raw
Date: April 19, 1999
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Attendance: 10,671
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
It’s the go home show for Backlash and the main story is the Ministry being totally out of control. The Corporation is fighting them as well as they can but there’s just too much going on for them to do much good. Other than that we’ll get the fallout from Rock throwing both Austin and the title belt into the river last week. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Smoking Skull belt being introduced and then thrown in the river last week with Austin following it into the water.
Rock drives a hearse into the arena because he buried the title last week. This week it’s going to be a funeral with Rock delivering the eulogy. We even have a casket, flowers, and a big mound of dirt. Rock climbs onto the mound while guaranteeing to show that he’s the best champion ever on Sunday. Simple stuff here but on a big stage.
Vince and Stephanie will do a sitdown interview in Connecticut tonight so Vince is checking with security to make sure Stephanie is safe.
Road Dogg vs. Owen Hart
There’s no ramp this week due to the grave taking up so much space. Before the match, Dogg says that the Outlaws are the #1 contenders but if he loses tonight, Owen and Jarrett are the #1 contenders, no questions asked. However, if Dogg wins, the world gets to see Debra’s puppies. That’s the first time that term was ever used in the WWF so there’s your historical moment.
Owen jumps Dogg to start as Jerry is now a huge Roadie fan. The left hands and shaky knee drop get two on Owen but he comes back with a spinwheel kick (Lawler: “NO!”). A legdrop gets two more for Hart and he nails an enziguri for a close two. Owen drops a middle rope elbow but Dogg kicks out of the Sharpshooter and hits the pumphandle slam for the pin, sending Lawler into orbit.
Rating: D. This was just about the post match stuff and introducing one of the longest running jokes in WWF history to the lexicon. The tag match on Sunday was the more important story anyway, but this is far most historic. It says a lot that Owen and Jarrett were one of the top teams in the division.
Jeff Jarrett prevents the unveiling.
Undertaker sends the Acolytes out to take care of the Brood.
Rock is practicing his eulogy.
Brood vs. Acolytes
Christian is the odd man out here. It’s a brawl to start with the power guys easily taking over to start. Farrooq powerbombs Edge down but the Canadian comes back with a spinwheel kick and some lame kicks to the shoulder. That’s fine with Farrooq as he comes back with a spinebuster and makes the tag to Bradshaw. Gangrel comes in and fights out of a superplex before hitting a quick DDT.
Bradshaw hits a quick fall away slam and brings Farrooq back in for a belly to back suplex/neckbreaker combo. Farrooq works on the back as Lawler’s voice sounds like it’s cracking. Gangrel finally gets over for a tag but Bradshaw takes Edge’s head off before he can get going. The double powerbomb lays out Edge but Shamrock runs in with a ball bat to knock Bradshaw silly for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Not much better than the opener but it had more time and the teams knew how to work a decent match. Neither team would do anything for awhile but once Edge and Christian took off they never looked back. The main event war continues to devour the entire company.
Undertaker is livid at the Acolytes for not getting a pin.
There’s a new special coming. It’s called Smackdown.
During the break, Undertaker and Viscera beat the tar out of Farrooq and Bradshaw.
Intercontinental Title: Godfather vs. Hardcore Holly
Only Godfather’s title is on the line. It’s a slugout to start with Godfather getting the better of it. A boot to the face sends Holly to the floor where he picks up a cookie sheet, only to get rolled up for two. The Ho Train crushes Holly but we’ve got a ref bump a minute into the match. Holly rolls outside again and nails Godfather with the cookie sheet several times before throwing him out to the floor. A hockey stick over Godfather’s back has him in even more trouble but Godfather kicks a chair into Holly’s face. Goldust comes out and breaks up Godfather’s cover, but Snow lays Holly out with Head to give Godfather the pin.
Rating: D-. Did I mention this is Russo time? It’s a three minute and five second match, complete with a ref bump, four weapons and two run ins. I have no idea why the match needed all this stuff but that’s part of Russo’s philosophy: a title match isn’t enough to keep the fans’ entrance so all this stuff has to be thrown in. It works once in awhile but when it happens all the time, the effect wears off.
Undertaker is on the phone with Mideon and tells him not to fail.
Rock is having his shoes shined and promises to bury Austin tonight.
Ken Shamrock vs. Big Boss Man
No holds barred due to Boss Man attacking Shamrock last week to kick him out of the Corporation, though Shamrock is still loyal to Vince. The brawl starts in the aisle with no one in control. Boss Man is sent into the steps and then into the ring for the opening bell. Shamrock kicks Boss Man in the head and they slug it out until an enziguri (hit Ken’s shoulder) puts Shamrock down. A much better pair of spinebusters get three straight two counts and a powerslam gets one more. Boss Man hammers away even more but Ken grabs a hurricanrana and belly to belly out of nowhere for the pin.
Rating: D-. The gimmick brings this down as there was no reason for this to be no holds barred at all. If nothing else it makes future matches with the same gimmick look stupid as fans will say “the last one sucked so why should I care about this one?” As a regular match it wasn’t much to see either.
Undertaker immediately pops up and says he knows where Ryan Shamrock is, even knowing her room number. Ken runs to the back.
The Mean Street Posse comes out for commentary.
Mankind vs. HHH
Some right hands have HHH in early trouble but Chyna pulls Mankind down by the tie and hits him in the face. That doesn’t last long though as a backdrop puts HHH down again and he gets tied up in the Tree of Woe. HHH comes back again and hits the running knee to send Mankind outside. Chyna gets in even more shots as the Posse hasn’t had much to say so far.
Back in and HHH drops a knee for two before clotheslining Mankind out to the floor. Both guys are sent into the steps with HHH getting the better of it and hammering away back inside. The Pedigree is countered but HHH blocks the catapult attempt, so Mankind falls head first onto his crotch. Socko is loaded up but Chyna crotches Mankind against the post for a DQ.
Rating: C-. Better match but that’s still not saying match. These guys were capable of having some classics but they need more than six minutes on a random Raw in the middle of April. The DQ/screwy finishes are getting really annoying tonight, which says a lot given what we usually have to sit through on this show.
Post match the Corporation comes in to attack Mankind but Big Show makes the save. He hits a HUGE chokeslam on Test to send everyone running. Mankind grabs the mic and says thank you very much, but they’ll still meet in his boiler room on Sunday.
Rock is on the phone in the parking lot and says his car cost $40,000.
Billy Gunn vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jeff sends him into the corner and stomps away to start but walks into a great powerslam for two. Owen comes out to trip Billy, allowing Jarrett to clothesline him outside. Road Dogg gets caught trying to help and Gunn is posted. A bulldog gets two for Jarrett but Billy drops him face first onto the top turnbuckle to take over.
Road Dogg helps his partner out with a right hand but Billy and Jeff hit heads to knock each other down. JR is already annoyed at the puppy jokes as Billy nails a neckbreaker, but Debra unbuttons her top to show off her bra. Billy simply drops his tights and hits a Fameasser on Jarrett but Owen comes in for the DQ.
Rating: C-. That’s almost out of pity as these matches have just been awful tonight. The tag matches make sense for Sunday, but I don’t see the point in having one team win both of the matches. The puppy stuff would dominate anything to do with women for about the next three years, much to JR’s annoyances.
Debra takes off her jacket but Jeff covers her bra with the guitar.
Rock won’t give an interview to WWF.com and tells the interviewer to get him some fruit.
Viscera vs. Big Show
They lock up to start and Big Show easily shoves him to the mat. Viscera takes him into the corner for some fat man splashes, only to get crushed with a clothesline. A rather impressive hiptoss puts Viscera down but he comes back with more fat man splashes. Big Show kicks him in the face to drop Viscera again but the lights go out as he loads up the chokeslam. We’ll say it’s a no contest here after your usual battle of the huge men match.
Undertaker and Paul Bearer come to the ring and we get the real showdown with Big Show. They slug it out and both try chokeslams but Viscera gets back up for the double team. Big Show still won’t go down but Undertaker punches him onto one knee. Mankind comes out to even things up but Undertaker leaves Viscera alone. Big Show superkicks Viscera to the floor. It really is amazing how much bigger Show is than Viscera, who is a massive man.
We look at Shane taking over the Corporation last week.
Vince and Stephanie are in Connecticut for a sitdown interview with Michael Cole. Vince says he’s always been proud of Shane but he wasn’t always there for him. Shane missed a lot as well because Vince wasn’t there, but Vince wasn’t proud last week. Stephanie can’t believe what Shane has done recently but knows that the only person that can keep her safe is Vince.
Security interrupts the interview and says something is going on in the parking lot. Vince tells the guards to stay there with Stephanie and goes after whoever is in the parking lot. It turns out to be Mideon and Vince beats the tar out of him before trying to crush Mideon with his own car. Mideon escapes and gets into the car as we go to a break.
Here’s Val Venis to say he’s solved the Y2K problem. All the ladies have to do is add a few extra bytes of ram from his hard drive and everything will be fine. This brings out Sable who says that’s nice, but she’s got bigger news: in two weeks, she’ll be shooting her second Playboy pictorial. This brings out Ivory and D’Lo Brown and the double brawl is on for no apparent reason. Now Sable’s bodyguard Nicole Bass comes out to destroy Ivory with a chokeslam. Val seems to have eyes for Sable.
It’s time for Rock to deliver the eulogy for Austin. Rock sets the tone with “Dearly trailer park trash”. Oh we could be in for a good one here. Rock isn’t sure if a roody poo like Steve Austin will fit in that casket before we get the real point of this: Rock opens his jacket to reveal the Smoking Skull belt. He runs his mouth about Backlash a bit until you can hear an engine revving.
We go outside and Austin is in a 3:16 monster truck. He goes over to the Rock’s car and puts it in the middle of the parking lot before getting back in the monster truck. Austin teases it a bit by driving around the Lincoln Continental a few times before crushing the brand new $40,000 car, sending Rock into a frenzy.
With that nice and destroyed, Austin drives the truck into the arena and beers are consumed. Back into the truck and Austin runs over the hearse before the fight is on. Rock barely gets in a single shot before Austin nails him with the belt to send Rock into the grave. Austin poses with the title but Shane comes in (remember that he’s the referee on Sunday) and breaks a shovel over Austin’s head to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This is where Vince Russo was in need of the leash more than ever. All the stuff in the middle of this show was about as dreadful as you can get because it keeps going so fast that you can’t keep up with anything at all. However, there’s good stuff on both ends of the show that make it worth seeing. As for a go home show though, this really didn’t hold up well either. Most of the matches were just glossed over and the pay per view sounds like it’s going to be a big commercial for the next night’s Raw. That being said, it’s still better than anything WCW was doing at this point and that’s all that mattered.
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Wrestler of the Day – May 12: New Age Outlaws
Oh you didn’t know? Today we have the New Age Outlaws.
The Outlaws are of course Road Dogg Jesse James and Billy Gunn, who had a few meaningless matches in late 1997 and decided to team up instead of wasting their careers. Their first match together was on Shotgun Saturday Night, September 20, 1997.
New Age Outlaws vs. Los Boricuas
It’s Jesus Castillo/Jose Estrada here and the Outlaws are still Rockabilly and Jesse James. The Outlaws jump Los Boricuas and it’s Jesus in trouble to start. Rockabilly’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker is countered into an armdrag but it’s off to Jesse before much damage can be done. Billy misses a splash into the corner and it’s off to Estrada to clean house. Everything breaks down and Billy nails Jose with his manager Honky Tonk Man’s guitar for the pin.
The lame team would get a Tag Team Title shot on Raw, November 24, 1997.
Tag Team Titles: Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws
The Outlaws come out in LOD pads with Dogg calling Hawk and Animal dinosaurs. The brawl starts on the stage until Animal backdrops Billy to start. Hawk comes in and beats up both Outlaws on his own so Road Dogg heads outside. That’s fine with Animal who nails Dogg with a clothesline on the floor. Back in and a delayed vertical suplex gets two for Hawk as this has been total dominance so far.
Billy finally trips Hawk up and we take a break. Back with Hawk nailing Dogg with a clothesline but Billy distracts Animal to break up a tag. Hawk and Billy clothesline each other but the referee doesn’t see the hot tag to Animal. Dogg hits Hawk in the face with a title belt for two but Billy’s top rope legdrop only hits mat. Animal gets the tag and cleans house but the referee gets bumped. Everything breaks down and Billy nails Animal in the back with a chair, giving Billy the pin and the titles for a HUGE shock.
Rating: D+. The match sucked but the LOD was so far past their prime here that having them just give a rub was the best use for them. The Outlaws were basically the Honky Tonk Man of the tag team division: they beat so many other teams that they had no business beating and the fans kept thinking their next match would FINALLY be the time, but it never was.
The Outlaws would hold the titles until Wrestlemania XIV where they lost them to Cactus Jack and Chainsaw Charlie. There was a rematch last night which changed the Outlaws’ careers forever.
Tag Titles: Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws
Road Dogg is wearing a JOB Squad t-shirt for some reason. The old guys jump them as they get in and the fight is on. Funk has a BAD bruise on his back/hip. Gunn gets suplexed into the cage and is hung upside down from the top of the cage. There are no tags in this. This is a total mess but that’s supposed to be the point so it works.
Funk is tied to the cage with something. Cactus manages to get a double DDT but it’s a handicap match now. Funk gets an arm free but can’t untie himself. He’s tied by his throat. Jack and Gunn go up to the corner and Billy gets crotched. DX comes in and Pac blasts Cactus with a chair and a spike Piledriver onto said chair gives the Outlaws the titles again.
Rating: C. Call this right in the middle because it was a big mess, but that was the idea here. Also the whole point of this was to show that DX had fresh blood in it as the Outlaws are officially part of DX now. This was a perfect fit as they were all about the lack of respect and all that jazz. They worked rather well in that role too.
The Outlaws would continue to be intelligent, as shown on Raw, June 8, 1998.
Tag Titles: Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws
During the Outlaws’ entrance, Taker beats up Sarge in the back. HHH and Pac are on the stage with various funny signs. Just two in the ring at a time. Billy vs. Animal gets us going. Billy brings in 8-Ball quickly and oh yay it’s more DOA vs. LOD. Let’s say that’s 8-Ball beating on Road Dogg. The twins take over and you can feel the energy being sucked out of the show while they’re in there.
Roadie finally brings in Hawk who just does not look right with hair. Neckbreaker gets two on Skull. Billy comes in and the match continues to go nowhere. The challengers are back in almost immediately and Animal pounds him down. Let’s say that’s Skull. Road Dogg comes in and takes a missed low blow. Back to Animal vs. Skull. GET THIS OVER WITH ALREADY. Finally we get to the ending as both of the Outlaws are brought in. And then Road Dogg quickly lays down for the pin before anyone else can get in. And that’s Outlaws 101. Shouldn’t they lose the titles though as they gave up the fall?
Rating: D+. Other than the ending, this was really boring stuff. The DOA vs. LOD feud went on FOREVER and never got interesting in the slightest. They were such a clash of styles and none of them had anything interesting at all to do. Boring match but the ending showed why the Outlaws are so memorable: they couldn’t beat the challengers physically so use your brains.
The Outlaws would defend the titles for months (save for a period of Mankind and Kane taking them), including this match at Survivor Series 1998.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Headbangers vs. D’Lo Brown/Mark Henry
The Outlaws are defending of course. This was set up on Raw with both challenging teams doing something that I can’t remember to earn the shot. Billy and Brown start things off but Mosh comes in off a blind tag to try to steal a pin on Billy. Mosh hits a running body attack in the corner on Gunn before diving at Brown as well. This is pretty messy so far. The Outlaws pound on the former Nation guys in opposite corners before the Headbangers double team Roadie.
Brown and Mosh trade pin attempts on Dogg. This is the old triple threat tag match rules where there are three people at a time in there which I’ve always preferred. Off to Henry for a bearhug on Roadie until Mosh makes the save. Off to Brown, Thrasher and Dogg as this continues to be ugly stuff. Gunn gets in a LOUD argument with the referee as Brown ranas Thrasher off the top.
Roadie pounds on Brown and Thrasher but Henry takes his head off with a clothesline. Brown’s running powerbomb to Thrasher is countered into a sunset flip for two. A Henry legdrop gets the same on Dogg, followed by the Headbangers double teaming Roadie for the same. Brown offers a pact with Mosh but gets kicked in the balls for his efforts. JR can almost be heard moaning at how bad this match is. Roadie finally escapes the beating for the hot tag to Billy. The fans LOVED the Outlaws so at least they’re reacting here.
Brown hits the Sky High on Billy but since everyone is out of position, it takes forever to start the count. Jesse Ventura would have a field day with this. To further the stupidity here, Billy hits a Fameasser on Mosh but Henry makes the save with a splash, also hitting Mosh. Mark just stays on top of Mosh for a cover, but after two finisher it only gets two. That Mosh man, he’s TOUGH. Billy finally piledrives Mosh to retain the titles.
Rating: F. This was terrible and there’s no other way to put it. They were all over the place and no one was even reading the same book out there. The referee had to count very slowly so the saves could be made and there was no flow to this at all. Just awful and JR’s commentary makes it even funnier, but in a kind of sad way.
After having some issues and splitting for awhile in early 1999, the team would reunite as heels later in the years. They would get the titles back from the Rock N Sock Connection and defend them at Unforgiven 1999.
Tag Titles: Edge/Christian vs. New Age Outlaws
Edge and Christian are young faces here and asked for a title match on Heat. How weird is it that Edge and Christian would be light years ahead of the Outlaws at the end of the day? The Outlaws are freshly reunited here and the pop is noticeably quieter. And I’m wrong as they’re WAY into the Road Dogg entrance stuff. Edge and Gunn start us off. Korderas is refereeing again which is good as there shouldn’t be any drama here.
This was when Gunn was still bearable in the ring so this is decent to start off with. Edge and Christian were young and awesome at this time so this is a fun match on paper. More or less no way they were going to win though as the Outlaws had just won the belts recently. Lawler asks Ross if he likes it doggy style. That’s just wrong. The Outlaws are showing off here which you NEVER see. It’s not bad actually. Edge is WAY into steroids here as he’s ripped as all goodness.
I don’t know if I believe this but I think the Outlaws are having a good standard tag match here. What in the world am I watching? You could tell that the challengers were going to be awesome at some point in the future. What would be called Poetry in Motion when the Hardys used it misses.
Gunn gets the hot tag and he just starts whipping ass. NICE powerslam. This is a solid match actually. And here are the Hardys and Gangrel. They beat up Edge and Christian so the Fameasser ends it. Screw this good match thing! We want RUN INS! Russo was gone but still being felt at this time I guess.
Rating: B. Solid stuff here as they went back and forth with the Outlaws showing that they could go when they wanted to. This of course makes me want to know: why didn’t they do it more often? It’s a shame they didn’t as this was awesome. Of course Edge and Christian would have their time.
Here’s one of their last defenses, from Royal Rumble 2000.
Tag Titles: Acolytes vs. New Age Outlaws
The Outlaws are defending and there’s a backstory that doesn’t deserve to be listed. Who would have thought that THIRTEEN YEARS LATER the Outlaws would be on house shows for the WWE again? The Outlaws are heels here but they’re over like free beer in a frat house here in New York. The APA storms the ring and the beating is on quickly. Bradshaw and Billy officially get us started with Billy taking a fast beating. Both guys tag as the referee is adjusting his ear piece.
Faarooq imitates Dogg’s dance before getting double teamed a bit. Bradshaw breaks up the shaky knee drop and everything breaks down. The Clothesline kills Billy and there’s the spinebuster to Roadie….but Billy pulls the referee out. The ref is bumped and Road Dogg is hit with a double powerbomb. X-Pac runs in and kicks Bradshaw’s head off. The Fameasser to the future JBL retains the titles in like two and a half minutes. This had to be cut for time. The Outlaws would lose the titles to the Dudleys next month and that would be the end of the team.
That would be their last regular tag team match in the WWF for over ten years. The team would however reunite in TNA as the James Gang (Road Dogg was BG James and Billy was Kip James), with one of their first matches coming at Final Resolution 2006.
Diamonds in the Rough vs. James Gang
It’s Elix Skipper/David Young and this is the return match for the James Gang. BG and Skipper start things off. Skipper shoves him down and it’s a very slow start. Skipper suplexes BG over and works on the arm for a second. BG comes back with the dancing punches and shaking knee drop for two. David and Kip come in for a few collisions that go nowhere.
The Diamonds try some double teaming but get caught in a double Japanese armdrag by Kip. They get sent to the floor and the Gang beats on them on the floor. The fans chant for the Outlaws but BG walks into a spinebuster from Young for no cover. There’s a reason the guy lost like 86 matches in a row. Skipper pounds on BG for a bit before it’s back to Young who covers, only to have Kip distract the referee. David misses a moonsault and it’s hot tag to Kip. Skipper clotheslines him down and everything breaks down. Young breaks up the pumphandle slam but Kip hits the cobra clutch slam for the pin on Elix.
Rating: D. You know there’s a running theme with these New Age Outlaws matches: they’re not that good. These guys were never known for their in ring work and it’s pretty clear why. The matches just aren’t any good with the action being generic the whole way through. There was nothing to this and it was a horrible return for the James Gang or whatever they’re called this month.
The team would eventually become known as the Voodoo Kin Mafia, which somehow is a jab at Vince (yes I get the initials thing). This led to a feud with Christy Hemme’s various teams, including this match at Victory Road 2007.
Voodoo Kin Mafia vs. Basham/Damaja
Ok so I’m betting some translations are needed. Lance Hoyt isn’t wrestling but rather is someone that was brought into the camp of the VKM (more commonly known as the New Age Outlaws with the initials VKM, which are the initials of one Vincent Kennedy McMahon) as a spy for Christy Hemme. Hoyt is more commonly known as Vance Archer and the other two wrestlers were better known as Doug and Danny Basham.
Oh and at the moment the Outlaws are known as BG James (Road Dogg) and Kip James (not Road Dogg). They debut Roxxi as the newest member of the Mafia. Now SHE was zombie hot. Sweet goodness Christy looks great with her hair up and in a black dress. I totally do not remember the Bashams being in TNA.
Hemme keeps making out with Hoyt for some reason. Christy and Hoyt come into the ring and we get the Knockouts showdown before they were called Knockouts. Hoyt of course jumps Road Dogg and the heels take over in standard fashion. The fans are bored with the match. That’s odd as it’s not that bad. It’s bad mind you, but there’s nothing here that is standing out as terrible.
Not Road Dogg hits a Jackhammer for two. With the referee talking to Hoyt, Road Dogg pops Damaja with a chair so that not Road Dogg can get the pin. Road Dogg beats up Hoyt afterwards. Roxxi hits a Dominator on Christy.
Rating: D. Just…why? Why is this on PPV? I get that it was a feud etc but this just wasn’t interesting at all. I know TNA is bad about thinking matches have potential or whatever but they thought this was good? This is a great example of people complaining about TNA taking WWE rejects. Why in the world would you bring in the Bashams? Not horrible, but just very uninteresting.
The team would leave TNA a bit later and go into a six year hiatus before returning to WWE on Old School Raw for a cameo match.
New Age Outlaws vs. Primo/Epico
Dogg and Epico get things started and there are the shaking punches followed by the shaky knee drop for two for Roadie. Primo distracts Dogg though and Epico gets in a dropkick to take over. The cousins work over Roadie with Epico hitting a slingshot elbow for no cover. Off to a chinlock for a bit but Roadie fights up and the two of them collide. Hot tag brings in Billy who pounds away on both guys before getting two off a tilt-a-whirl slam. Everything breaks down and the Fameasser ends Primo at 2:58.
After most of another year off, they would come back, beat the Tag Team Champions in a non-title match and get a title shot at Royal Rumble 2014.
Pre-Show: Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust
Cody and Goldust are defending and lost a non-title match to the Outlaws to set this up. Road Dogg starts with Cody and is taken down by a quick shoulder block. Back up and Roadie hits his shaky fist but has to duck the Disaster Kick. Gunn comes in off the tag but is quickly sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline as we take a break. Back with Road Dogg dropping a knee on Goldust for two and putting on a chinlock.
Goldust fights back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Billy breaks up a tag attempt as the announcers brag about how Gunn hasn’t aged a bit since the 90s. For 50 years old the guys is in good shape. Goldust finally makes the hot tag and Cody speeds things up, including a double springboard missile dropkick to put both Outlaws down. Cross Rhodes lays out Road Dogg but Billy saves at two. Billy comes in off a blind tag as Cody hits the Disaster Kick to Roadie, setting up the Fameasser for the pin and the titles at 6:30.
Rating: C. I was surprised here. Not only was this not the result I was expecting, but the match was better than I thought it was going to be. The Brothers had been on one heck of a roll since the fall, but this likely leads into the Authority being corrupt storyline. That doesn’t make sense given that the Outlaws just won the match clean, but I’m assuming that’s the idea.
There was a rematch on Raw, February 3, 2014.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust
The Outlaws are defending and you can only win by pinfall or submission, not escaping. We get the big match intros after a break and we’re ready to go. Goldust grabs a headlock on Road Dogg to start before taking Dogg down in something like an armdrag. He gets on all fours to chase Roadie to the corner but Goldust lets him go. Road Dogg asks Billy what they’re doing in here before tagging Gunn in to face Goldust.
Cody comes in with a sunset flip out of the corner for two and a small package gets the same. Back to Road Dogg who takes Cody into the corner as a CM Punk chant starts and quickly dies. Billy comes in again and pulls Cody’s bad elbow around the top rope before putting on an armbar. The announcers talk about the tag division until it’s back to Goldust for an armbar on Road Dogg. Not exactly inspiring stuff so far.
Goldust pounds on Dogg in the corner with right hands but misses a cross body and crashes into the cage to change momentum as we take a break. Back with Goldust still in trouble via a Road Dogg chinlock until it’s back to Gunn who walks into a clothesline out of the corner. Goldust finally makes the hot tag to Cody as everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick gets two on Billy and Cody is frustrated. He looks up at the top of the cage, tells Billy to suck it and starts to climb. Cody goes to the top of the cage, totally misses the moonsault press on Road Dogg and gets caught by the Fameasser to give Billy the pin at 16:10.
Rating: D+. This was a very boring match that didn’t need to be in a cage except for the big spot at the end. I’m assuming the Brothers are going to be splitting up soon which isn’t the worst idea in the world. It also helps that they didn’t go with the losing streak angle to set up the title change.
We’ll wrap it up with their final regular tag team match, from March 3, 2014 on Raw.
Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Usos
The Outlaws are defending but Road Dogg doesn’t think the fans here are worthy of hearing his catchphrases. It only took them two months to remember they’re heels. Jey hammers on Roadie to start but gets whipped hard into the corner. Uso comes out holding his knee so Dogg kicks him to the floor for a breather. Billy throws him back inside and hammers away before it’s back to Dogg. Jey’s leg seems to be holding up well enogh and Dogg even works it over a bit. Roadie throws him to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Jey fighting out of a chinlock but getting slammed down for two. Dogg comes back in and takes a spin kick to the face (the knee seems fine). The hot tag brings in Jimmy to face Billy. Dogg gets knocked off the apron and a Samoan drop puts Gunn down. There’s a Bubba Bomb to Billy and the running Umaga attack in the corner to Roadie.
A reverse Whisper in the Wind hits Gunn and there’s a superkick to knock Dogg to the floor. Gunn rolls up Jimmy for two and the tilt-a-whirl slam gets the same. The Fameasser just misses and the Usos do the plancha with the flying tag, setting up the superkick and Superfly Splash to FINALLY give the Usos the Tag Titles at 9:27.
Rating: C+. It’s about three years overdue but this was the best way to do it. I have no problem with the Outlaws keeping the title for just a few weeks as they put the young guys over 100% clean before Wrestlemania. Good little match and they made it feel like it meant something, which is rare for these titles.
The Outlaws are definitely a team that was better on the mic than in the ring. You might be looking at this and thinking “that’s it?” To be fair, you’re probably right for the most part. There really aren’t a lot of great Outlaws matches, but at the same time there were TONS of great promos and bits over the years. They were definitely a big deal though and a huge force in the Attitude Era.
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Wrestlemania XXX Preview: Shield vs. Kane/New Age Outlaws
Let’s get this one over with.If you’ve been reading my reviews lately, you know that I wanted this to be Ascension. Kane even eluded to a new team coming in when he said Shield could be replaced. Instead we get a nostalgia act who couldn’t remember if they were heels or faces recently. I just can’t buy the Outlaws as a threat to Shield after they’ve spent a year and a half tormenting the likes of John Cena, Daniel Bryan, Kane, Big Show, Randy Orton, Sheamus and the Wyatts. The Outlaws couldn’t hang with these guys fifteen years ago but now we’re supposed to buy them as a real threat to the Shield? That just doesn’t work for me.
I have to go with Shield, as there’s absolutely no reason for the old guys to win. They’ve tried to play this up as Attitude Era vs. Modern Era but it’s just not working all that well. Shield deserves to win, but this feels like a major step down after facing three former world champions last year. The team as faces is interesting though and hopefully lasts for a few months.
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Smackdown – March 28, 2014: No Time For A Witty Title With All This Wrestling
Smackdown Date: March 28, 2014
Location: TD Bank North Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
It’s the last regular Smackdown before they head to the Crescent City. The main stories are all set at this point so this show is just going to be about firming up the plans for Wrestlemania. The only match announced for tonight is Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt which should be a good win for the monster. That would be the monster with hair in case that’s not clear. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Batista to get things going. Batista wants to know why the fans are booing a six time World Champion, the winner of the 2014 Royal Rumble and the headliner of Wrestlemania XXX. They boo him, but they cheer for Daniel Bryan? This brings him to a clip from Raw with Batista implying Stephanie is shall we say, friendly, and getting slapped as a result. Batista thinks Stephanie hits harder than any of his opponents, which brings out HHH.
The boss suggests leaving Stephanie out of this but Batista asks why we should do that. She’s responsible for the suit and for HHH being COO. HHH wouldn’t have anything without marrying the boss’ daughter. Triple H says this is the Reality Era and it doesn’t matter why he has what he has and all that matters is what he has. He asks why Batista wants to make this personal. Batista says it’s because HHH has accused him of living off his past glories, which includes never losing to HHH. Now HHH is trying to take Batista’s title and that’s not cool with Big Dave.
HHH agrees that he’s never beaten Batista but that was a long time ago. Batista has gotten lazy after getting all that success and he’s been in Hollywood letting his stuntman doing all his work. Now he’s back in WWE and HHH has yet to see the Animal. HHH has shown what he can do a few weeks ago against Daniel Bryan. You know, the little guy that Batista couldn’t finish off. However, HHH is willing to help Batista again tonight. Maybe he can find that Animal in his match against Sheamus.
We look back at the fourway from last week, leading to Shield being beaten down by Kane and the Outlaws.
Shield vs. 3MB
Rollins/Ambrose vs. Mahal/McIntyre and Seth starts against Jinder. JBL brings up a good point: the Shield has dominated the last year but three guys from the Attitude Era took them down. Rollins hits Two Amigos before bringing in Ambrose for the third. Back to Rollins who gets taken into the corner and pounded by McIntyre. Drew thrusts his hips at Reigns for some reason but it allows Seth to roll over for the tag to Ambrose. The running dropkick against the ropes has Drew in trouble and Seth hits the big dive to take out Mahal. The bulldog driver, now named Dirty Deeds, is enough to pin McIntyre at 3:04.
Rating: D+. You can only be so entertaining in a three minute match. At least Shield didn’t sell too much for 3MB as they’re already going to have to sell for a team that couldn’t remember if they were good or bad a month ago. It’s nice to see Ambrose getting a clean pin as well.
Post match Kane and the Outlaws come out and say they’ll end Shield at Wrestlemania. That’s unlike what Shield is going to do to their next opponents.
Shield vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel
This is joined in progress after a break with Ambrose taking Curtis down with a drop toehold. Ryback offers a quick distraction though and Axel knocks Dean to the floor. Dean gets caught in the corner as the announcers do their usual bickering. Ryback loads up a suplex but gets countered into a nice DDT. The hot tag brings in Rollins to clean house with a Blockbuster to Axel. A series of kicks takes Axel down and Ambrose jumps off the steps to pound on Ryback. Rollins unleashes the dive to Ryback before countering a PerfectPlex into the Peace of Mind for the pin on Axel at 4:14.
Rating: C-. More entertaining match here with Rollins stealing the show again. I’m still not sure why we need extra proof that the Shield can dominate when they’re coming into a match against the Outlaws. But hey, Gunn and Dogg were awesome in the Attitude Era and that means the match will rock now right?
Post match Shield points at the Authority members on stage and lays out Ryback with the Superman Punch and Triple Bomb.
Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow
The maskless one takes him into the corner to start and drives a knee into his ribs for two. We’re in a chinlock thirty seconds into the match but Sin Cara rolls him up out of the corner for the pin at 1:04.
Big Show says what the Wyatts did to Cena on Raw was very disturbing. However, some of the stuff Bray has been saying makes sense. That’s how they suck you in, but tonight they have a giant problem on their hands.
Fandango vs. Goldust
No Cody for this one. Summer is looking great tonight in an outfit similar to Jasmine from Aladdin. Fandango takes him down to start and puts on a very early chinlock. Goldust fights up with a belly to back suplex followed by an atomic drops and right hands in the corner. The powerslam gets two for Goldust and they head outside where Summer distracts Goldust long enough for Fandango to kick him in the head and grab a handful of tights for the pin at 3:16.
Rating: D. Summer was the only interesting thing to see in this match. She looked great and was so goofy when she was distracting Goldust that she was kind of adorable. The match was barely long enough to rate and the first minute or so was spent on a chinlock and laying around after the suplex.
Batista vs. Sheamus
HHH is watching from the back. Batista hides in the corner to start until Sheamus nails him with a shoulder block to send the Animal to the floor. A chase goes badly for the Irishman and Batista drives shoulders into the corner. Batista scores with a big clothesline before dropping Sheamus with a knee to the ribs.
There’s the spinebuster but Batista walks around instead of following up. The delay lets Sheamus nail Batista with a clothesline and come back with his usual high powered offense. Batista fights out of the ten forearms but Sheamus makes the second attempt work. A powerslam looks to set up the Brogue Kick but Batista bails tot he floor. Sheamus follows but walks into a chair to the right for the DQ at 5:33.
Rating: C. This was a nice power brawl and more importantly, Sheamus looked like an equal to Batista. Batista was in trouble at the end and that’s how you make Sheamus look awesome. This is the kind of stuff that Batista should be doing a lot of the time and it worked well here.
Batista sends Sheamus into the post and hits the Batista Bomb. He asks if HHH is happy now and promises to leave Wrestlemania as champion.
The Raw ReBound looks at the Wyatts attacking Cena on Monday.
Bray Wyatt is holding a mask and says if you give it to a man, he’ll reveal his true face. Every man wears a mask at some point John, whether it’s to to hide his intentions or not. Cena has hidden behind a mask for so long that it’s become him, but when he removes it he removes his own skin. Bray’s sword has left a scar on Cena’s soul that can never heal. Can’t Cena hear the song? Bray will never forget what the woman singing first told him. A man’s secret comes to life underneath the shade of the cypress tree. He sings part of He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands and we’re done.
Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/Tamina
Vickie Guerrero is on commentary to explain the 14 Divas match at Wrestlemania. Her explanation: it’s going to be awesome. Brie quickly takes AJ down to start but it’s quickly off to Nikki for a middle rope kick to the face. Tamina comes in and nails Nikki in the face before it’s back to the champion for a two count.
We hit the guillotine choke from AJ which transitions into a sleeper until AJ lets go and brings Tamina in again. Snuka misses a middle rope splash and it’s back to Brie for some dropkicks. A middle rope dropkick sends Tamina to the apron where she nails AJ in the face and tags her in, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:27.
Rating: D+. The Bellas looked good in their outfits, most of the focus was on Vickie, AJ loses again. Next.
Santino and Emma are on a sound stage that is supposed to look like a restaurant for a date. She calls him the ultimate friend with benefits but means benefits like going out together instead of the usual meaning. We get a staring contest for a bit before Emma says she feels the same way he does: they’ll always be best friends. Santino freaks out and says he can’t eat. He chokes on something and makes it worse by trying to drink wine. The wine is spat out on Emma and thankfully the segment ends.
Jack Swagger vs. Jimmy Uso
Jack takes him into the corner to start but Jimmy knocks him outside and hits the big dive over the top. Back in and a high cross body gets two followed by something resembling a Whisper in the Wind for the same. Not that it matters as Swagger takes out the knee and the Patriot Lock is good for the win at 1:58.
We look at Undertaker and Lesnar brawling on Raw.
Mark Henry vs. The Miz
Henry takes too long pointing at the sign and Miz nails some kicks to the ribs to start. A dropkick to the knee puts Henry down and Miz goes to work on the leg. He cranks on the ankle a bit but lets Henry up and charges into a boot to the face. Mark misses a Vader Bomb and bangs up his knee again. The Figure Four is easily broken up but Miz throws him over the top and out to the floor. Miz gets sent hard into the steps for his efforts and a whip into the barricade has him in trouble as well. Back in and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin at 3:30.
Rating: C. Much better than I was expecting here, even though that doesn’t mean all that much. Miz working on the leg made sense and the throw over the top was a surprising visual. I can also forgive the leg work here as it only lasted a few moments and Henry’s legs are thick enough that some basic stuff from Miz wouldn’t have very long term effects.
Razor Ramon Hall of Fame video.
Big Show vs. Bray Wyatt
The giant shoves him into the corner to start but Bray smiles at him. Wyatt is sent out to the floor so he sits in front of the announce table and says that was nice. Back in and Bray tells Show to show him all his might. Big Show hammers away in the corner and knocks Bray around with a headbutt. Wyatt charges into a boot to the face but avoids an elbow drop.
It’s Wyatt in control now and kicking away at the giant but being launched off a cover. The Spider Walk looks good but only gets Bray clotheslined down. He comes back with a splash in the corner but has to stop before running into a boot to the face. Something like a Stunner to the leg puts Big Show down and Harper gets in a shot of his own. Sister Abigail gets the pin at 4:10.
Rating: C-. This is the kind of win that Bray needed going into the pay per view. You don’t often get to see him wrestle but he always puts on a good show when he does. Big Show is still someone who can give a rub and that’s what we got here. Nice main event and thankfully it didn’t last too long.
Overall Rating: C+. Tonight was a night of wrestling and did a nice job of firming up things for the show in nine days. Other than Sandow vs. Sin Cara and Fandango vs. Goldust, most of the matches had some storyline development, but even those four guys are all in the battle royal. It’s a good show to set up Wrestlemania and that’s the kind of thing WWE needs right now.
Results
Shield b. 3MB – Dirty Deeds to McIntyre
Shield b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Peace of Mind to Axel
Sin Cara b. Damien Sandow – Rollup
Fandango b. Goldust – Kick to the head
Sheamus b. Batista via DQ when Batista used a chair
Bella Twins b. AJ Lee/Tamina – Bella Buster to Lee
Jack Swagger b. Jimmy Uso – Patriot Lock
Mark Henry b. The Miz – World’s Strongest Slam
Bray Wyatt b. Big Show – Sister Abigail
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