Best Of Mike Awesome
Commentators: Joey Styles, Shane Douglas, Cyrus, Joel Gertner, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson, Mick Foley

It’s another Best Of from the WWE Vault and that has me curious. This isn’t someone you often think of as having a long career, mainly because he didn’t, but he certainly did live up to his name. You can probably figure out some of the matches from here, but I’m wondering what they’re going to use to fill in all of the time. Let’s get to it.

Quick opening video, as usual.

From ECW Heatwave 1998.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Joey Styles is right there to explain the history between these two, which is a nice way to spend entrances. Awesome runs him over to start and swears a bit before pulling Tanaka out of the air. An overhead belly to belly sends Tanaka flying and a slingshot shoulder puts him down again. Tanaka is sent outside and dropped with a big dive as the fans already want tables.

Back in and a nice looking top rope clothesline drops Tanaka but he pops back up with a suplex. It’s time for a chair (of course), which Tanaka takes down the ramp for a running start and a big shot to Awesome’s head. Awesome is right back up and they head outside for a chair duel (which looks cool despite being rather dumb).

Tanaka is knocked over the barricade so of course Awesome goes up and dives over the barricade to take him down again (that’s just not normal). Back in and the Awesome Bomb gets two, followed by a heck of an Alabama slam into the Awesome Splash. Some absolutely sickening unprotected chair shots to the head knock Tanaka silly and it’s time to set up a table on the floor.

Even Shane Douglas on commentary knows this is stupid so Awesome goes back inside with a top rope chair shot to the head (geez). Some Awesome Bombs through the table are blocked though and Tanaka instead powerbombs him over the top and through the table for a terrifying landing. Somehow that only gets two, as does the Roaring Elbow, leaving commentary stunned. A tornado DDT onto some chairs finishes Awesome at 11:51.

Rating: B. This is going to be a collection where you instantly get the idea of the featured star. Awesome could do things in and out of (and above) a ring that almost no one else could even approach and it looked great. That’s what we saw here and my goodness it was impressive to see. Some of those chair shots were terrifying, but that’s 90s ECW for you.

From Anarchy Rulz 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz is defending and you might notice something missing here. We get the Big Match Intros and Taz, who is set to leave for the WWF, is told that he sold out. Hold on though as here is Mike Awesome in the crowd (with Judge Jeff Jones) and Taz says let him through. Paul Heyman comes in to break it up but Taz wants him in, so Heyman makes it a three way dance.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Taz vs. Masato Tanaka

Taz is defending and Tanaka dives through the ropes to take Awesome out before he can even get inside. The two of them fight on the floor while Taz chills in the corner, which is rather funny for some reason. They get inside, where Taz clotheslines Tanaka, who is tossed with a Razor’s Edge. Awesome gets caught on top with a superplex but Tanaka Roaring Elbows Taz. That and an Awesome Splash pins Taz at 2:02, guaranteeing a new champion and rather popping the crowd.

This brings out Paul Heyman with the locker room for a big farewell to Taz as the fans realize what’s going on (though Taz would be around for about another month and a half). So we’re down to one on one with Awesome sending him to the floor for the big dive. The top rope clothesline and sitout Awesome Bomb get two each but Tanaka slips out of another powerbomb. A triangle clothesline sends Awesome outside again and the running chair shot knocks him silly.

Tanaka adds a tornado DDT to send him off the ramp, followed by another onto a chair back inside for two. A tiger bomb gets the same but Awesome is back with an Awesome Bomb over the top through the table at ringside. An Alabama slam into an Awesome Splash gives Awesome two so he cracks Tanaka in the head with a chair over and over. Awesome can’t believe it and charges into a boot in the corner.

Diamond Dust (flipping Stunner out of the corner, which always looks great) gets two on Awesome, who is right back with a spear for two. A table is thrown in and Awesome caves Tanaka’s head in with another chair shot. The table is set up and they head up top, where Awesome hits a super Awesome Bomb for the pin and the title at 13:49.

Rating: B-. This was a bit of a weird one as you had a mini match at first, which was all about getting rid of Taz. Then it broke down into something very similar to the first match, which was kind of the point. Awesome winning the title is a huge moment for him of course as he hadn’t been around ECW for a long time, but now he’s on top as Taz is leaving. That’s pretty awe…cool.

Post match Taz gives Awesome the belt to really put him over.

From ECW On TNN, October 22, 1999.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. New Jack

Awesome is defending and Joel Gertner does the introduction before bailing out of absolute fear. Well to be fair, he is a rather well educated man. Jack starts fast with an oar to the head and tries to choke with a rope. Awesome slugs back and gets bitten in the face for his efforts. A missed charge in the corner has Awesome in more trouble and they go outside, which can’t go well. The running chair shot from the apron only hits the barricade, followed by a top rope clothesline inside.

As you might expect, Jack comes back with some staple gun shots to the head, followed by a guitar to the same head. Jack goes up top but dives into a chair to the head, allowing Awesome to send him through the table at ringside. The Awesome Splash retains the title at 6:20.

Rating: C+. When you get the fun version of New Jack (work with me here), he’s kind of a blast to watch. There’s something great about having the some playing throughout and the various weapons he’ll use at any time. I don’t think there was much in the way of drama about the title changing, but Awesome having to get through him was good.

From ECW On TNN, December 10, 1999.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Awesome is defending and shoulders Scorpio down to start. A superkick gets Scorpio out of trouble and they go outside, with Awesome hitting an ax handle off the apron. Awesome’s big diving clothesline over the barricade drops Scorpio again, followed by a big shoulder back inside. Scorpio gets in a kick to the head for a breather though, setting up a top rope splash for two.

A moonsault gets the same but Awesome launches him with a German suplex. Jazz tries to come in to help Scorpio, who has to save her with a crossbody. Another superkick drops Awesome and a table is set up in the ring. The moonsault takes too long though and the super Awesome Bomb sends Scorpio through the table (in a GREAT visual) to retain the title at 9:26.

Rating: B-. The ending alone boosted this one up, but it’s always fun to see Scorpio out there. He’s a good example of a guy who just worked every time he was in the ring and some of his best work came in ECW. Getting to see him with this kind of a special chance was nice, even though he was little more than a means to make Awesome look better.

From ECW On TNN, December 24, 1999. This is an impromptu match, but I believe it was advertised in advance due to the taping schedule. I was at my aunt’s house and wanted to watch it, but my cousin threw me out of her room for watching that “stupid wrestling”. Instead I went into their attic and sat for two hours without anyone noticing I was gone. Anyway.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is defending in an impromptu match, with Tanaka in workout pants as he takes Awesome outside for the running chair shot. Awesome fights back as he is known to do and runs him over to take it back inside. The sitout Awesome Bomb gets two and Awesome drops him again as we take a break.

We come back with the Awesome Splash getting two and a table being set up in the corner. That takes too long of course and Tanaka suplexes him through the table, followed by the tornado DDT onto the chairs for two. A top rope chair shot gives Tanaka two and some chairs to the head just make him mad.

One of the scariest chair shots to the head I’ve ever seen puts him down, followed by the Awesome Bomb for two. We take another break and come back again with Awesome catching him on top. That’s reversed into a tornado DDT through the table, which allows Tanaka to hit the Roaring Elbow for the pin and the title at 17:02.

Rating: B. These guys fought a lot (as you can tell) and unfortunately it’s not a rivalry that holds up well when you see it over and over. You’re seeing a lot of the same spots here, though at least Tanaka won with his finisher for a change. Tanaka getting the title is quite the step for him, as beating Awesome was a pretty rare accomplishment.

Post match respect is shown. Awesome would get the title back the next week.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Little Spike Dudley

Awesome is defending and the idea is that Spike keeps beating giants. Before the bell, Spike loads up a bunch of tables at ringside, even getting a production worker to help him. Spike grabs the mic and calls out Awesome for putting people through tables, including women. And it’s time to fight, which is going to be painful. Spike jumps him to start and gets sent through some tables at ringside, then does it again for a bonus.

They go outside, with Awesome throwing him over the barricade for the big flying shoulder. A slingshot splash gives Awesome two back inside but Spike manages to send him outside. The dive off the apron connects but Awesome throws him around, banging up Spike’s knee in the process. The crowd chants something that warrants an edit to the audio, leaving Awesome to go after the knee again.

Back in and Spike gets in a hurricanrana, only to have Awesome BLAST HIM with a clothesline. Spike knocks him right back down though and it’s a top rope double stomp to crush Awesome again. Awesome fights up with a chair shot and sends him over the barricade, setting up the big springboard dive. The landing sees Awesome slip a bit though and he seems to bang up his (awesome) elbow.

Another table is set up at ringside, with Spike managing a quick Acid Drop to send him through the table. A top rope chair to the head knocks Awesome silly again but he’s fine enough to send Spike over the top and through another table (which Spike barely hits). Awesome sets up another table inside but Spike catches him on top. That doesn’t last long though as it’s the super Awesome Bomb through the table to retain the title at 14:11.

Rating: B. This is not exactly a match designed for everyone, but rather a match where it’s all about seeing Awesome absolute wreck Spike. While Spike got in a few shots, it was hard to imagine him actually winning the title. That doesn’t make it any less entertaining though, as Spike’s pain was quite the sight to behold. Fun match, though the physicality and destruction might be a bit much to take.

From ECW On TNN, March 10, 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Mike Awesome/Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka

Dreamer and Tanaka are defending and Dreamer Russian legsweeps Awesome to start. Raven mocks Dreamer though and it’s a belly to back suplex to put Dreamer down. Raven comes in to hammer away and then run, allowing Dreamer to bring in Tanaka. Awesome runs him over with a clothesline but Tanaka gets in a drop toehold into the corner. The tornado DDT is countered though and it’s back to Raven to slug away in a weird combination.

A running chair shot doesn’t do much to Tanaka, who is back up to bring in Dreamer. Everything breaks down and Dreamer puts Raven in the Tree Of Woe, only to get taken out by Awesome again. The middle rope elbow gives Awesome two and Raven grabs the mic to mock Dreamer (and hit him too). It takes too long and Dreamer gets in a shot of his own, only to have Awesome come back in for some rather physical violence. A table is brought in but Dreamer avoids the Awesome Splash.

The crash is enough for the tag back to Tanaka, meaning a bunch of elbows. Everything breaks down and more tables are brought in, with Dreamer giving Raven a neckbreaker. Back up and Raven pulls Dreamer off the top for a drop toehold through the corner of the table (even the ECW fans know that was rough). The Awesome Splash gets two and the Awesome Bomb through the table gets two, with Tanaka making the save. The Roaring Elbow drops Raven and Dreamer’s DDT gets two, with Awesome making a save of his own. A running Awesome Bomb sends Dreamer through a table for the pin and the titles at 12:11.

Rating: C+. Ok, we get it with Awesome vs. Tanaka. I get that this was a big deal for Awesome to become a double champion, but this is a lot to take in such short order. The match was good enough and it was nice to see some actual tag wrestling before the wildness got going. Things weren’t exactly going well for ECW at this point and Awesome would be gone in about a month.

From WCW Starrcade 2000.

Mike Awesome vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Ambulance match and Awesome is now That 70s Guy. They start brawling as you would expect, with Bigelow clotheslining him out to the floor. Awesome fights back though and gets in a ring bell shot. Some chair shots to the back put Awesome down and they fight up the aisle with Bigelow chairing him in the ribs a few times. They go up to the ambulance, with Bigelow slamming the door onto him over and over.

Bigelow punches through a window by mistake but he’s fine enough to hit Awesome with the chair again. They go back to ringside with Awesome slugging away but the running…something is countered with a backdrop through a table. They go back up to the ambulance and fight with the lights from the top. A big shot knocks Bigelow through the roof for the win at 7:56.

Rating: C. WCW was obsessed with Awesome having ambulance matches, as he had something like seven of them in about as many months. There was no explanation of a story here, which says a lot for this kind of a gimmick match on a major show. Then again, that’s part of the reason why you don’t see WCW around anymore. See also Awesome getting to WCW in April and apparently doing nothing of note for eight months.

From One Night Stand 2005.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

They chop it out to start and Styles goes on a crazed rant against Awesome for leaving for WCW and more money. You know, because ECW was known for its financial stability. Awesome comes back with a slingshot shoulder and a big dive over the top to the floor (Styles was hoping Awesome would have cracked his head open). Tanaka fights back with a running chair shot but gets powerbombed HARD through a table to knock him silly.

The Awesome Splash connects for two, followed by an even more sickening chair to the head. Tanaka is back with the tornado DDT onto a chair and something like a Conchairto. The top rope rope chair shot drives the chair onto Awesome’s face for two more so Awesome grabs the chair. That means a top rope chair shot to Tanaka and it’s time for yet another table.

Awesome takes too long loading him up though and a tornado DDT sends Awesome through the table for two more. Tanaka goes up but gets Awesome Bombed onto what’s left of the table…for two. Another Awesome Bomb through the table on the floor, followed by a slingshot Awesome Splash, gives Awesome the pin (on the floor, which is apparently legal) at 9:57.

Rating: B. These guys knew how to beat each other up, but seeing some version of it five times in less than two hours was a lot to take. At the same time, Joey Styles was REALLY annoying here, spending so much time complaining about Awesome leaving ECW. There have been reports that Awesome wasn’t being paid on time (which certainly wouldn’t be unique for ECW) but apparently he should have just stuck around. Anyway, another hard hitting fight here in what would wind up being Awesome’s last match.

Overall Rating: B-. Awesome is a VERY interesting case as there was pretty much no one like him at the time, but he never did much of anything outside of ECW. There have been reports that the bigger stars in WCW wouldn’t work with him and his physical style, though that doesn’t exactly excuse the That 70s Guy and the untouched Fat Chick Thriller. The fact that his time in WWE was basically ignored saved for the ECW reunion show is rather telling as well. Awesome was a force while he was around, but he just wasn’t around for that long.

 

 

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ICW No Holds Barred Volume 11: Then And Now
Date: April 8, 2021
Location: 81Bay Brewing Company, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: The Struggles, Ron Niemi

This is another promotion where I don’t know anything about it coming in but this seems to be a more violent promotion, which is not likely to be in my wheelhouse. I’m not sure what to expect coming in and I’m not sure about who all is on the card. Hopefully it is going to be a bit better than what I’m picturing so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which advertises No DQ, No Submissions and No Rules. Oh geez please don’t be a deathmatch promotion. Why am I doing this to myself again?

The ring announcer welcomes us to the show….and the ropes are chains.

Tony Deppen vs. Daniel Garcia

They circle each other for a bit to start until Deppen goes for the leg. That means a trip to the mat with both of them trying to tie up the legs. Deppen gets the legs crossed and cranks on Garcia’s arms at the same time. With that broken up, Garcia sends him to the floor for a breather. Back in and they go to the mat for more grappling with Garcia getting in some elbows to the back of the head.

Deppen slips out of that and bites Garcia’s bare toes, which has Garcia bailing underneath the ropes in a smart move. It’s Deppen getting on top for a slap off on the mat until some heavy forearms rock Garcia. You don’t do that to him though as he grabs a German suplex and starts stomping away rather fiercely. Something like a Crossface goes on, followed by a bodyscissors over the chain to make it worse.

Back up and they slap it out until Deppen is thrown into the chains for two. What looks like a Gotch style piledriver is broken up though and Deppen stomps on the bare feet. Garcia doesn’t mind and stomps on Deppen’s head but Deppen kicks him low. A running knee to the head finishes Garcia at 8:33.

Rating: C. Not much to see here and it did feel a bit more like a fight instead of a match. Deppen has come a long way in the last year or so and that is a very good thing. At the same time, Garcia has popped up a few times over this weekend and I haven’t seen much about him to get my excited. Not awful here, but it was a fine way to start off the show.

Here’s a guy named Scoot Andrews, who is billed as the Black Nature Boy. Andrews lists off all of his credentials on the independent circuit and…..I think he is here to introduce Lee Moriarty. Or maybe to find someone to beat him. The audio isn’t exactly the best around here.

Lee Moriarty vs. Steve Madison

Moriarty’s IWTV Title isn’t on the line. Madison, the hometown boy, comes out to Hearts On Fire from Rocky IV so we have a favorite. They go to the grappling to start with Moriarty working on the arm but getting taken down into a headlock. That goes into an early standoff and it’s Madison taking him down by the arm again. Moriarty flips out again and they stop to stare at each other again. More mat grappling goes to Madison but Moriarty is back up with an armdrag into an armbar.

Madison gets smart by snapping Moriarty’s throat across the chain and the chinlock goes on. That’s broken up and Moriarty slides over to hit a double stomp to the throat. Madison is right back up with a shot of his own and the Sharpshooter goes on. Moriarty turns that back around and grabs Madison’s fingers for a little snap. A Russian legsweep gives Moriarty two but Madison is right back with a backdrop driver. Moriarty enziguris him and hits a suplex into a Downward Spiral (that’s a new one but it worked) for the pin at 7:46.

Rating: C+. Moriarty continues to impress over the weekend and that has been very nice to see. This was another good wrestling match between two guys who were completely able technicians. Madison isn’t someone I’ve seen before (and commentary said he doesn’t wrestle often) but he seemed like a steady hand. Good match here, and that is becoming the norm for Moriarty.

Post match Andrews comes in to show respect….and then pulls Moriarty into a Fire Thunder Driver. Andrews drops the IWTV Title onto Moriarty’s chest, which commentary thinks means a seed has been planted.

So far so good at thirty minutes in.

We look at the history between Justin Kyle and Bruce Santee. They had some Super Fights, which seem to be them punching each other quite a bit. The first two fights were split so I think you know where this is going.

Justin Kyle vs. Bruce Santee

Good luck on telling them apart as they’re both big bald biker looking guys. Kyle starts swinging to drive him into the corner early but Bruce shoves him away, only to come up favoring his wrist. More rights and lefts have Bruce down on his knee but a Superman Punch is countered into something like a World’s Strongest Slam (not that this is a wrestling match in any way).

They fight on the mat for a bit before getting back up, where a right hand sends Santee outside. Santee beats up the chairs so Kyle hits a BIG dive to take him down. Chair shots to the back rock Santee again and Kyle is rather fired up. Back in and Santee hammers away but Kyle kicks him back, meaning it’s time for the big slugout in the middle. Kyle rocks him with a right hand so Santee says bring it so Kyle kicks him in the head for the knockout at 4:40.

Rating: B. I have no idea what to call this as a wrestling match but that isn’t what they were going for here. This was about two big bruisers beating each other down and that’s what we got here. I’ve never heard of either guy but it makes sense to have them do something like this. Good, fun brawl here and exactly as advertised.

Post match Santee grabs the mic and seems to show respect. Then he a drink.

The ring announcer tells the fans to stay away from the ring. I think.

Jon Davis vs. Dominic Garrini

Garrini has Kevin Ku with him. They go straight to the slugging it out in the middle with Garrini needing a second off some chops tot he bare chest. After about two minutes of chopping, Garrini kicks him in the chest instead so Davis does some of his own. Garrini finally starts a series of strikes to take over but Davis snaps off a suplex to send him flying

Some shots to the face and a few slams give Davis two but Garrini snaps off some strikes to the chest. A German suplex sends Davis flying and a running knee gets two. Back up and they trade elbows to the face until Davis STOs him down. The Shining Wizard gives Davis two and a powerbomb gives Garrini the same. Davis is right back with a heck of a lariat into a piledriver for the pin at 8:35.

Rating: C. This took some time to get going and they spent a lot of time hitting each other rather hard, which is about as interesting as something like this is going to be. Both of these guys have been around quite a bit over the weekend and they have gotten a bit of an upgrade. I’ve only seen Garrini from MLW and mainly in a tag team, while Davis has not been around for a bit but is making a nice showing for himself as the grumpy power guy.

Brandon Kirk vs. Danny Demanto

There are a bunch of weapons around the ring so here we go. Brandon has Kasey Kirk with him and they do not seem to be popular. Demanto seems to be more of a hit with the fans, though he might be a bit loopy. He also has a rather energetic guy named Mittens in his corner, because of course he does.

Kasey handles Brandon’s (her husband) introduction and the fans REALLY do not like her. Granted I can barely understand her but that seems to be the right conclusion. Demanto on the other hand is the “Tom Brady Of Banging Your Lady”, which is about as clever of a nickname as I’ve heard in the last four minutes. Kirk jumps him before the bell for two but Demanto reverses a whip to send Kirk outside. A bunch of chair shots have Kirk staggering around the ring and Demanto puts him on a table.

That means a top rope elbow to drive him through and they’re both down at ringside. Demanto hits him in the ribs and back with a baseball bat (after not being able to break it over his knee) and there’s a hard whip through a bunch of chairs. Now it’s time to get extra violent as Demanto takes some kind of spiked plate and elbows it into Kirk’s head, where it gets stuck.

That opens up the head so let’s pour some hot sauce in there for a bonus. Back in and it’s time to pour in some salt and lemons to go with the hot sauce. Demanto picks up a kendo stick but has to stop and swing at Kasey, allowing Brandon to get in a thumb tack wiffle bat shot. Another spike plate goes into Demanto’s head for a change and Kirk puts a keg between his legs.

With Demanto stuck, Kirk crushes said keg with a baseball bat for two. Both of them escape fireman’s carries until Kirk sends him over the top and through a table with what looks to be a bunch of cut open cans stuck to the top. We now pause because THAT WAS REALLY STUPID and Demanto can’t get up. Kirk helps him as well so Demanto hits him in the face, with commentary praising Demanto for being a piece of garbage. Kirk is laid on a door and a powerbomb/piledriver sends Kasey through Kirk through the door.

Instead of covering, Demanto flips off the camera as Kirk pulls himself back in. Demanto picks up a baseball bad with an empty water cooler container on the end and here’s Mittens to hold Kirk. The big shot hits Mittens by mistake though and Kirk’s lariat gets two. They fight over a suplex until Kirk grabs a small package for two. It’s time to slap it out from their knees but Kasey hits Demanto with….something to give Kirk the pin at 14:24.

Rating: D. This started off fun with Demanto having a bunch of charisma but then went rather weird with Demanto almost having a heel turn in the middle. The Kirks seem like a pretty despicable team and the fans really didn’t like them, but it was still not much to see with all of the hardcore and violence. More hardcore nonsense, but you had to know something like that was coming around here.

Post match Demanto grabs the mic and says he lost everything two years ago. He knows that he can always press the restart button and burn this place to the ground. So he wants everyone here who has ever been told no or who has lost someone to put up a middle finger. We get the ICDUB chant and he seems happy about something. Upon further investigation, Demanto is the owner of the company. That makes….a bit more sense I guess.

The ring announcer says they don’t have any hot food here so if you’re hungry, you’ll have to Door Dash it. Ok then.

Calvin Tankman vs. Dan Maff

These guys are rather large. They go nose to nose to start with Tankman talking trash. The chop off fires both of them up even more until Tankman knocks him outside. Tankman follows him out and gets sent through some chairs for the big crash. That’s fine with Tankman, who is right back to send Maff through some chairs as well. A chair to the back, as opposed to a back to the chair, keeps Maff in trouble, but another one just wakes him up.

Maff kicks him away and it’s time to set up a door. They hammer away at each other’s heads until they stagger around to opposite sides of the ring. Back in (for once) and they forearm it out with Tankman getting the better of things. A lariat is countered into a half and half suplex to drop Tankman though and a backsplash connects. Maff hits a lariat into a backbreaker but Tankman is back with a lariat of his own for a close two. It’s time to bring in a door and a couple of chairs to bridge it over, which can never go well.

A spinebuster puts Maff through the door for two more so Tankman needs some more chairs. Some fans throw one in, earning a warning from the ring announcer (“Please hand the chairs to the competitors.” That isn’t something you hear in your usual matches and that might be a good thing.). A bunch of chairs are stacked up and a powerslam onto said pile gets two on Maff.

With Maff out on the floor, Tankman hits a heck of a suicide dive to send him through another door for another two. Maff is back up and catches Tankman on top, only to get knocked back down. Tankman’s frog splash onto Maff onto the chairs…..gets two, as this has gone from beyond ridiculous to completely stupid. Maff slips out of a superplex attempt and hits something resembling a Cheeky Nandos kick. The Burning Hammer in the vicinity of the chairs finishes Tankman at 20:13.

Rating: D. Nope. This was a match that started off well as a good battle of the big men but then went WAY too far, to the point where it was so ridiculous. They had a bunch of big spots and the kickouts stopped being interesting and started being a joke about how the thing was never going to end. I was getting annoyed at this one and that should not be the case with a match that started off fun. They went about twice as long as they should have and it was a big miss as a result.

Post match they stare at each other and trade more chops as a show of respect. That might make up for a bit of the match. Tankman leaves and here’s Bruce Santee, in a “F*CK JOE BIDEN” shirt, to yell at Maff before their match in an upcoming one night tournament.

Weapons are loaded into the ring for the next match. Oh boy here we go.

The ring announcer requests that fans keep their masks up.

Jake Crist vs. Nolan Edward

This is Crist’s debut with the company and he kicks Nolan outside at the bell, setting up a suicide dive in the first seven seconds. They move some chairs around with Edward managing to kick him in the face and throw some chairs inside. Back in and Crist scores with a high crossbody and some kicks to the face get two. Edward is back with something like a McGillicutter into a Gory Stretch.

Crist is sent face first into one of the chains but kicks him in the ribs to break up a Bionic Elbow. A swinging belly to back fisherman’s suplex sends Crist through a door for two but he’s right back with a Death Valley Driver through another door for another two. Crist gets two off a spinning brainbuster so Nolan is back with a snapmare into some fast knee drops. A Stunner drops Nolan again and this time Crist pelts a chair at his face. Then he does it two more times for a bonus and Nolan is down again.

Crist puts him on top for a superplex onto a chair so it’s time to put a barbed wire board over a pair of chairs. Nolan gets caught on top and there’s a super cutter through the barbed wire board for two (and a very limited reaction). Another barbed wire board is loaded up over the chairs and, after pelting a chair at Nolan’s head, Crist….gets butterfly suplexed through the board instead, giving Nolan the pin at 12:03.

Rating: C-. This is one of the more frustrating shows in a long time as it’s the kind of thing that should make me mad but they’re keeping the violence at just a low enough level to keep the anger levels down with it. I’ve seen Nolan twice this weekend and haven’t been interested, though Crist is someone who can do some good things. He’s better with his brother, but his brother is kind of horrible outside of the ring and should have been dropped.

A lot of respect is shown post match.

After an ad break, Edward is still in the ring and has a seat while holding the microphone. Edward has been told that there is no such thing as a draw in wrestling anymore. That means a challenge to…..Sami Callihan. This would have been a bit better if the fans hadn’t chanted Edward’s nickname: No Flinch.

More weapons are loaded in for the main event, with the ring announcer again telling fans to get their masks up.

Neil Diamond Cutter/The Rejects vs. Carnage Crew/???

The Rejects (John Wayne Murdoch/Reed Bentley) and the Crew (DeVito/Loc) are….not important enough to individually name to start, meaning the video’s graphic has to help me out. The brawl is on at ringside without the Crew’s partner being out here yet. I also don’t think there was a bell but I can’t imagine it matters. Cutter hits Loc in the head and Murdoch bites him as commentary mentions the Crew’s partner (who I’ll save for a bit of a surprise). Cutter gets sent through a board in the corner and Loc hits a basement clothesline for two.

The brawling continues around ringside, including Loc stapling a dollar to Cutter’s tongue. Bentley puts DeVito through a door and we get a parade of weapons shows with no particular rhyme or reason. Loc takes Murdoch inside for a belly to back suplex and Bentley’s swinging Russian legsweep gets two on Cutter. Something like a Magic Killer gets two on Loc…..and we’ve got NEW JACK as the partner. The trashcan full of weapons goes into the ring, including the guitar over Cutter’s head to give DeVito the pin at 6:35.

Rating: D. As you might have guessed, this wasn’t about the wrestling or anything outside of the brawling as we waited on New Jack as the big special moment. Granted it might have been better had he been a mystery partner, but knowing who it is going to be and having then showing up in the end works as well. This was more of the hardcore match I was expecting but they kept it short so it’s hard to get overly annoyed. Totally not my thing, but you had to have a match like this from a promotion called NO HOLDS BARRED.

Celebrating ensues post match, with New Jack being about six inches taller than DeVito and Loc. The Rejects grab the mic and says this was about the violence as the Rejects faced the Carnage Crew for the first time ever. Bentley challenges them to a two on two match in the future but New Jack answers, saying he came here from North Carolina. I think he says he has been drinking all day, so you censored censored censoreds and various other censoring. The Crew accepts the challenge and New Jack throws a trashcan at the Rejects. New Jack’s theme music ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show started off well enough and was even a nice surprise to get things going, but then it descended down into a lot more of what I was expecting. What surprised me here was that it never got all the way down into where some of these shows tend to go. There was even some good wrestling earlier in the show and that is always going to help things. The show certainly isn’t great and there isn’t much on it worth seeing, but I was expecting a deathmatch nightmare and got a fairly average show with some hardcore thrown in near the end. If that’s as bad as it gets, I can live with this.

 

 

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With Summerslam finally out of the way, I had some extra time and started back in on the pile of DVDs I bought a few weeks back.  I took care of this one, which was the first of the set so far that had actual wrestling (shocking I know).  Let’s get to it.

Bigelow is an interesting case as he’s one of the first high flying big men to gain prominence in America.  He had a very unique look with a lot of size that could move around, but that head tattoo is one of the best trademarks you’ll ever see.  He was always someone to watch and would have been a main event player back in the late 1980s had his knees not given out (and had he not been as loyal to Japan).  If nothing else, he was the first wrestler whose name I could say as a baby, though given that my first word was cranium (I don’t get it either), I don’t know how much of a positive that is.

What we have here is a collection of very random matches and parts of a 1998 shoot interview.  The interview itself is about two hours and forty five minutes but we only get about forty five minutes here.  What we do get is rather entertaining though as Bigelow is a pretty good interview, talking about everywhere he’s been (which is a lot of places) and speaking highly of himself, but not going insane.  He has praise for some people and criticisms for others so it’s not like he’s going nuts or anything.  At the same time, his discussions of what happens when you have no competition and a billionaire comes along with a bunch of money to invest in wrestling hold up 21 years later in an almost eerie manner.  I could go for the whole interview as what we got was intriguing stuff.

The matches….I don’t get it.  I understand that they could only use certain stuff so we have an indy match, a pair of ECW fancam matches and a short clip from a Memphis match in 1986, but there’s one problem: Bigelow goes 1-3 in these matches, including losing a title in one of them.  If the set is supposed to be a nice look at Bigelow, who in the world thought showing him losing most of the time was a good idea?

The whole thing only runs about an hour and a half so it’s a very quick sit with one good match and some interesting stuff in the interview, so this was as easy of a DVD as you could sit through.  The other three matches combine to be about as long as the good one so even they don’t weigh it down too much.  It’s a nice entry, but it feels like it was put together without thinking things through.  Bigelow isn’t going to get the big WWE DVD release so this is about all you can ask for.

And now, the matches.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Samu
Date: November 6, 1998
Location: Patterson Catholic High School, Patterson, New Jersey
Commentators: Unknown

This is from an Independent Superstars of Professional Wrestling (ISPW) event. Samu (Roman Reigns’ father) is a pretty big guy as well, though nowhere near as big as Bigelow of course. Commentary talks about Bigelow being a champion everywhere in the world. And that’s very true, assuming you leave out the two biggest companies he had worked for so far. Samu jumps him at the bell and gets in a “beautiful eye rake”. Bigelow comes out of the corner with some clotheslines and it’s time to go out to the floor.

Samu goes into various metal objects as one of the commentators suggests going after the bare pinkie toe. Back in and Bigelow misses a splash in the corner, allowing Samu to hit a “beautiful” side kick. Choking ensues and what looked to be a low blow in the corner keeps Bigelow in trouble. Samu bites in the corner and pokes him in the eye, only to miss a splash of his own. The referee gets bumped off a clothesline, just as Bigelow hits his headbutt. The timing of these things is one of the great marvels of wrestling. Cue another Samoan to hit Bigelow with a chair though and Samu gets the pin at 3:49.

Rating: D+. Of all the matches you could pick for Bigelow, you start the match with a loss? I know it’s kind of hard to find an indy match for him, but you would think they could find a squash win for him. Either way, they treated Bigelow as a big deal here and it wasn’t a clean loss, but the match wasn’t even that good.

Post match, Bigelow promises to get a piece of Samu’s a** and make it his. That’s getting a tad personal, no?

ECW TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Date: April 4, 1998
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 2,600

Bigelow is defending and this is fan cam footage so the quality isn’t exactly quality. Bigelow (with a bandage on the side of his head) comes out to Welcome To The Jungle and the star power is strong with this one as Bigelow almost charges to the ring and you can feel the raw energy. The song is kind of perfect for a wrestling entrance (it was used in the WrestleCon Supershow Battle Royal and one of the commentators said “This could be any independent wrestler since the 80s!”) but my goodness it’s weird to see Bigelow with a belt. Van Dam (with Bill Alfonso) is just a cocky heel at this point and not the ECW legend he would become.

We get some LAWRENCE TAYLOR chants during the Big Match Intros for a little old school twist. They take their time to start with Bigelow being weary of the kicks. Bigelow gets smart and punches him in the face but Rob is right back with the kicks. For some reason Rob tries a charge in the corner and is thrown down like he’s not even there. I mean, as much as you can throw something that isn’t there….I think. We get a breather on the floor so Fonzie can give Van Dam some pointers, or maybe make a weed order.

Back in and Bigelow pounds away some more but the top rope kick to the face takes him down. Rolling Thunder: beta version gets one and Bigelow low bridges him to the floor. That means an exchange of postings before Van Dam’s headscissors is easily countered with a shove over the barricade. They’re playing up a nice story here with Rob using all of his flying and athleticism and Bigelow just using raw power.

The fight into the crowd is capped off with Bigelow being sent face first into the barricade and then getting kicked right back into the chairs. Fonzie declares Bigelow soft as a boiled egg as Van Dam pelts a chair at Bigelow’s head. That sets up the big dive over the barricade as Van Dam is breaking him down. A CRAZY top rope flip dive over the barricade takes Bigelow down again but Van Dam crashes even harder. The legdrop over the barricade (minus the spin) keeps Bigelow in trouble but Van Dam is spent from all the flips.

Bigelow is back up with a slam onto the timekeeper’s table and a big elbow off the apron puts Van Dam through it in a crash that isn’t as big as you would expect around here. It takes some time for them to get up so Van Dam kicks him in the head, with the bandage gone and the blood flowing. Back in and Bigelow runs him over again but misses the moonsault (I always liked how he did those), setting up the Five Star (or close to it) for two.

A Samoan drop (with Van Dam landing on his shoulder) gets two and Bigelow spikes him with a scary looking brainbuster for the same. Greetings From Asbury Park bumps the referee so here’s Sabu to throw a chair at Bigelow. Not to be outdone, Bigelow throws Sabu at Van Dam and then powerbombs him, with Sabu somehow landing on his face (only Sabu). The chair is back in though as it’s the Van Daminator for the pin and the title at 15:47.

Rating: B-. Remind me to not sign up for a compilation DVD anytime soon as it seems to be a bunch of losses. I liked this one and the interference at the end is fine as it makes sense to have Fonzie’s guys cheat to win the title. Van Dam was about to have a rocket attached to his back as he would hold the title for nearly two years without ever being defeated for it as a broken ankle forced him to vacate it.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. New Jack
Date: February 20, 1998
Location: Woodbridge Armory, Woodbridge, New Jersey
Attendance: 1,200

Fancam again and since it’s a New Jack match, the music is blaring so loudly that there may or may not have been a bell. Bigelow jumps him during the entrance and pounds away with a headbutt sending Jack into the pile of weapons. A low blow is loaded up as Bigelow somehow doesn’t notice Jack holding a big metal sheet, which goes right along the tattooed head. And now, here’s an umbrella, because Jack apparently inspired Jack Gallagher.

There’s a trashcan lid to the head and a low blow with what looked like a garden hoe. Bigelow gets in a trashcan shot and then follows it up with a trashcan shot to send Jack outside (I don’t see this ending well). The timekeeper’s table is laid against the barricade but Bigelow throws him through it instead. Back in and Bigelow stomps away but gets knocked down with a cookie sheet and a golf club. Cue Chris Candido and Shane Douglas (Bigelow’s Triple Threat teammates) to go after New Jack, allowing Bigelow to hit a DDT. A splash and the headbutt finish New Jack at 5;52.

Rating: D+. Well at least he won something. This was all about the weapons vs. the wrestler though Bigelow can brawl very well in his own right. I’ve never cared for New Jack for the most part but it’s hard not to smile a little bit at him being so into what he does. As long as they don’t advertise him as a wrestler and just acknowledge that he’s a gimmick nutjob, he can be acceptable in small doses like this one.

Post match the beatdown is on until someone (looks like John Kronus) comes in for the save. This goes badly for him as well with Greetings From Asbury Park leaving him laying. Jack and Kronus get destroyed with the weapons.

AWA Southern Title/AWA International Title: Jerry Lawler vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Date: September 8, 1986
Location: Mid-South Coliseum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Lance Russell

Lawler is International Champion, Bigelow is Southern Champion and this is a Texas Deathmatch, meaning Last Man Standing but you have to get a pin before the count starts. Therefore, we’re joined in progress in the seventh fall, with Russell saying we’re about thirty minutes in. Lawler knocks him down but gets whipped into the referee in the corner.

A splash gives Bigelow the pin from a groggy referee, who doesn’t notice Lawler’s feet on the ropes. Bigelow’s manager Larry Sharpe blasts Bigelow with a chair by mistake and they’re both down after a rest period. Lawler gets to his feet first and gets both titles at 4:14 shown. I’m not rating four minutes (with over a minute of the two of them laying after the bell) of a thirty minute match but this was classic Memphis.

Post match Sharpe beats Bigelow up, which for some reason needed a quick intro from Lawler.

ECW on TNN
Date: April 21, 2000
Location: Family Arena, St. Charles, Missouri
Attendance: 2,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re at an interesting point for the company as a lot of things have been changing. RVD is the new hero to stand up against the Network but the more interesting story is the world title picture. Around this time, world champion Taz is under contract to the WWF and appearing on Monday Night Raw and Smackdown with the ECW World Title. That’s not something you see every day, making it all the more interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with Sinister Minister talking about the last circle of torment being saved for betrayers. That’s where you have to go to find the former ECW World Champion. Mikey Whipwreck: “You mean me?” Minister: “Go start a fire Mikey.” The Minister explains the whole Mike Awesome situation and calls it very extreme. However, it’s going to be nothing compared to Cyberslam. The Minister says he loves us all, especially our souls. Cue maniacal laugh.

Opening sequence.

Heyman promises us live coverage of Wrestlepalooza 2000. Do we have to?

We open with the announcers in the ring and Mikey lighting a table on fire at ringside. Joel talks about exposing himself to an 18 year old named Tina before the Impact Players have something to say. Joey says Dawn Marie is the only reason they still have the titles and Jazz is tired of it. Dawn says there isn’t a woman in wrestling that she’s afraid of, so here’s Francine. Justin holds up the kendo stick to hold her off until Raven comes out and we get a match.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Raven/Mikey Whipwreck

This starts as a handicap match but Mikey hops up on the apron to be Raven’s partner. We get an opening bell and a referee but Mikey hiptosses him down and we go to a break. Back with Justin stomping Mikey down in the corner and powerbombing him onto a chair for two. Joey says this is Wrestlepalooza 2000, even though it looks like any other TV taping. Storm gets two off a great looking dropkick and it’s back to Credible.

Mikey finally comes back with a clothesline and it’s hot tag to Raven who cleans house. A knee lift and bulldog get two on Justin as everything breaks down. The Players send the challengers into each other but Mikey sends Storm to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Raven’s drop toehold sends Justin face first into the chair but Dawn makes the save. Francine comes in for the catfight and Mikey gets two on Justin off the Whippersnapper (Stunner). Storm gets one as well but Justin tombstones Mikey to keep the belts.

Rating: D+. The match was energetic but the majority of it was spent on this huge brawl instead of a match. Also I can’t stand having a team thrown together due to being in the same place and giving them a tag title shot. I know it’s a common move in wrestling but it doesn’t make it any less annoying. At least it wasn’t Raven vs. Dreamer again though.

Cyrus is in the ring but Joey says they won’t put the camera on him….until the camera goes on him. Cyrus yells at C.W. Anderson and his chick Elektra, saying everyone is here to see the Network. Elektra immediately takes off her robe, leaving her only in a VERY tight dress to fire up the crowd. Cyrus implies Elektra is a rather loose woman and orders Lou E. Dangerously to get her out of the ring.

Left alone in the ring, Cyrus talks about going through the roster and finding someone who doesn’t have a contract. That person would be RVD’s friend Scotty Anton (Scotty Riggs), and he isn’t allowed on TV again without a contract. Cyrus talks about RVD ruining his friends’ careers and here’s Anton in the flesh. A fight is about to break out and the fans start a Scotty chant. Cyrus says Scotty is going to bend over for the Network like he does for Rob and you know it’s on. Before Anton can kill Cyrus though, here’s Rhyno for a match.

Rhyno vs. Scotty Anton

Scotty hits a quick dropkick but gets powerbombed down for two. Rhyno puts him in the Tree of Woe for a Gore as Steve Corino and Jack Victory bring in a table. Anton comes back with a row of chairs but fights off the heels with his fists. A high cross body gets two on Rhyno but Corino hits Anton in the back of the head with a cowbell. There’s the Gore and another one to put both Anton and the referee through the table in the corner for a DQ. No rating but to call this a match is a huge stretch.

Post match here’s RVD for the slugout with Rhyno but security breaks it up before it can go too far. Rob dives over the pile to get at Rhyno again.

Steve Corino vs. Tommy Dreamer

This is a bullrope match for no apparent reason. Corino jumps Dreamer with a cowbell to the eye to open Tommy up. Dreamer comes back by grabbing Corino’s crotch and pounding away at his head. They head to the floor with Corino busted open as well, causing Dreamer to pound away at the cut. Back in and Dreamer hits Corino low before hanging him upside down in the corner. Jack Victory comes in to take out Dreamer and here’s Sandman for the save. Joey: “He can’t be the cavalry because he’s too drunk to ride a horse.”

Sandman has a ladder and kendo stick with him for no apparent reason. As is his custom he takes his sweet time to get to the ring and even climbs the ladder to drink in the aisle. Sandman FINALLY gets in the ring and takes out the Network goons with the kendo stick. I have no idea if the match is still going on or not. Victory and Corino are sent into the ladder and Dreamer is back up. Tommy superplexes Corino down and the good guys lay him on the ladder for a HORRIBLE looking double splash with Sandman stopping halfway through.

Now Tajiri comes out and mists Dreamer in the eyes before kicking Sandman in the head. Corino suplexes Sandman onto the ladder so here’s New Jack with his trashcan full of weapons. The good guys fight up and New Jack uses the staple gun to open Victory’s head up. Sandman ties Corino up in the ladder and beats him with a broom as everyone else is fighting in the crowd. Joey declares this a huge victory for ECW as we cut between Dreamer beating up Tajiri and New Jack working on Victory.

Sandman suplexes Corino onto a piece of guardrail as Dreamer rings the bell over Tajiri’s crotch. Dreamer puts Tajiri in the Tarantula (you read that right) but Victory makes the save. Sandman brings in a table but Tajiri lays Dreamer across it for a top rope double stomp. Tajiri gets hit in the throat, causing him to choke on his mist. Victory gives him the Heimlich Maneuver which gets the mist out, sending it right into Corino’s eyes. New Jack hits a chair shot off the top for the pin on Corino.

Rating: W. For whatever this was, because it wasn’t wrestling. I knew this streak of decent wrestling and good angles couldn’t last.

Rhyno comes in to destroy all the ECW guys until Dusty Rhodes makes the real save. Two Bionic Elbows don’t drop Rhyno so it’s Sandman with a kendo stick shot to drop him.

PPV, Hotline and house show ads eat up most of the rest of the show.

The ECW guys celebrating takes us out.

Overall Rating: D-. This show is the Rain Man of professional wrestling. It shows promise at times, but as soon as things starts going well, something happens and they spin out of control. The last segment doesn’t change anything and doesn’t even make sense. Dusty Rhodes, a former NWA World Champion, is now representing the wild and insane world of extreme wrestling? Once you can wrap your head around that, we’ll get into a 54 year old man who has been retired for over ten years holding his own against a monster like Rhyno. This show wasted everything they had been building up for the last few weeks.

 

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 17, 2000
Location: Asbury Park Convention Center, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

It’s the show after Living Dangerously and a few things have changed. First and foremost, Super Crazy of all people won the TV Title, beating Rhyno in the finals. We also have new tag team champions with the Impact Players getting the belts back, putting us right back where we were before the fast title changes happened. The next PPV isn’t until May so we’ve got time to build to the next bad show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a brawl from some undetermined show with the Impact Players beating Nova and Chris Chetti to retain the titles. We only saw the last 75 seconds or so.

Opening sequence, but instead of the usual stuff we get a recap of the PPV.

RVD and Super Crazy are in the back with Rob saying Crazy is nice for carrying his belt. Crazy should get all the perks: limousine rides, champagne, green cards, all that good stuff. Just remember that Rob is coming back to get his title back.

Angel vs. Sandman

After about four minutes of intros and a break we have all of Da Baldies laying out Sandman so Angel can talk trash while beating on him. A cane shots from Skull gets two for Angel but Sandman throws him out to the floor. Sandman beats all of Da Baldies down and heads to the back for a piece of guardrail.

Angel gets crushed and we head back inside for more left hands from Sandman. The rail is set up in the corner but Angel comes back with more right hands, only to be sent into the rail in the corner. Sandman gets crotched on the rail but Vito accidentally hits Angel with the cane. Sandy pounds away on all of them and pins Angle after breaking the cane over his head.

Rating: D-. This was your usual ECW hardcore mess. The match wasn’t any good and to even call it a match is a big stretch. Sandman was popular though so the fans were into him which is the right idea. It doesn’t do New Jack any favors though as he’s fought Da Baldies for months now with no success.

Cyrus is sitting next to Rhyno and says this started as business but has become personal. He wants to kill off the ECW phenomenon and Rhyno says no one is safe.

Joel implies Cyrus and Rhyno are lovers.

Steve Corino is in the ring with Jack Victory and wants to know when he got heat with the office. He just wanted to be on TV once in awhile and doesn’t want his match tonight.

Steve Corino vs. New Jack

New Jack’s song begins and the beating is quickly on. This is one of those “matches” which involves nothing but weapons shots because New Jack doesn’t seem to know how to wrestle. Joel: “He’s beating Corino like a lapdancing midget at a funeral.” Joey: “What he said.” A guitar shot puts Corino down and draws in Jack Victory to try to save his buddy.

They head to the floor with New Jack taking over as they head towards the balcony. We take a break and come back with Victory strapped to a table as New Jack dives from the balcony to destroy everyone in sight. Back in and Rhyno runs in to Gore New Jack, giving Steve the pin.

Rating: N/A. Considering this was a four minute “match” which was mostly spent on a big balcony dive before someone not even involved in the match caused the end, what kind of a rating do you think I’m going to give it? I can’t stand New Jack as he’s completely against what wrestling is supposed to be. When you make Sandman look like a skilled grappler, something isn’t right.

Spike Dudley is out 9 months for knee surgery.

House show ads.

Raven talks about having his woman taken from him and tells Tommy to pretend life is a game of cards. The cards are finely blown glass and as they build trust, they turn over more and more cards. Then one day the cards are swept away and shattered, leaving both guys wanting the cards intact again. Didn’t they just want to play a game? The camera pan up to show Francine dressed like Raven and doing his pose and catchphrase.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is defending. The referee does a weapons check but as soon as the bell rings Judge Jeff Jones throws in a chair. Tanaka grabs one of his own and we get the dueling chair spots until they cave each others’ heads in with chair shots. Tanaka hits a running forearm in the corner and a dropkick sends Awesome to the floor. Mike gets a boot up to knock a chair into Tanaka’s face and drops him ribs first over the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Tanaka dropping Awesome with a tornado DDT and getting two off a missile dropkick. Awesome grabs a quick chokebomb for a near fall of his own and a Batista Bomb gets the same. The Awesome Splash gets the third straight two count and it’s table time. Surprisingly enough Tanaka is put through it with no reversal before being rammed into the corner for two again.

Here’s another table because just one isn’t a title match in ECW. Tanaka breaks up an Awesome Splash through the table and superplexes the champion through the wood to put both guys down. There’s the Roaring Elbow to knock Awesome out but Jones has the referee. Cue Raven to lay out Tanaka and the referee with DDTs for no explained reasons. Tanaka is powerbombed through a table on the floor and here’s Tommy Dreamer for the save, only to get caught in a DDT as well. Dreamer is powerbombed through a table as well and the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. The match was fun as usual but we get the idea already: Tanaka and Awesome can beat the tar out of each other. The idea here is that Raven and Awesome are the latest evil partnership but we kind of got that idea when they won the tag titles. I’m just over this match already and I have no need to ever see it again.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t remember a company with a bigger divide between the main event and everything else. The main event stories take up the last third of the show and the rest of the episode was just random brawling with no stories to be seen anywhere. Nothing to see here, but this just felt like a wasted episode.

 

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Living Dangerously 2000
Date: March 12, 2000
Location: O’Neil Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

The main story here is that the TV Title is vacant. Why is it vacant you ask? That would be because no one holds it at the moment. Tonight is about getting it some tender loving care. We’re trying to find someone that will curl up with it and give it the affection that it deserves.  For the less creepy version, RVD broke his leg/ankle so we’re having a TV Title tournament here. Other than that, this is the scaffold show with New Jack and Grimes, so expect a decent sized rant on that. Let’s get to it.

Sinister Minister (Abyss’ former manager) talks about the seven deadly sins of ECW. There’s a great long joke in there but I’ll spare you from it. Oh I forgot there’s a new massive heel stable: the Network, which is more or less a parody of TNN whining at Heyman over what they want. One funny line here is him getting to Wrath and says been there and done that (he managed a guy named Wrath in WCW. It didn’t go well.)

We hear Joey warming up the crowd and telling them to cheer. I know everyone does it, but come on now. Gertner says a few decent jokes but here’s Cyrus. He says excuse me a lot. Someone sue Vickie for trademark infringement. Are we ever going to get like, a fight between these two? Gertner just stands there and takes it of course like an idiot. Every time they say TNN I expect them to say TNA. Actually Gertner goes after him but Cyrus winds up hitting him when he’s not looking. Joey makes the save which is just odd.

Hit the theme song.

And here’s Steve Corino dressed like a cowboy. While he’s talking the audio messes up and we hear part of a Lou E. Dangerously promo. Paul…come on. Corino runs the fans down and in particular Sandman’s wife who is in the front row. Apparently she’s more of a man chase than Missy Hyatt and for you WCW fans, you get the idea.

 

Allegedly the Raven thing wasn’t an angle according to Corino. Dang his wife isn’t that attractive. She slaps him and he throws her in the ring. That girl wasn’t afraid to mix it up. There’s a table in the corner which I’m sure someone will go through. Sandman comes in to save her. And he gets a piledriver. His wife is gored through the table.

 

Not that we see it or anything but she’s standing in front of it, the camera jumps to the crowd, and we hear it being broken and they Rhyno is on her and the table is broken. The production values here are awful. Sandman gets his wife out of the ring and is likely going with her to the hospital.

 

This of course means he’s out of his tournament match, which is another bait and switch by Heyman but whatever. Corino now calls out Dusty Rhodes of all people. Oh that’s right they’re feuding. Also pay no attention to Dusty being everything ECW was supposed to be against.

Steve Corino vs. Dusty Rhodes

Should be noted the bell hasn’t rung yet and we’re 20 minutes into the PPV. This is a bullrope match too and it’s the pinning version thank goodness. There’s the bell at 20:40 of the PPV. Apparently Corino and Jack Victory beat up this referee at a house show. Dusty hits Corino with the cowbell. Know what I think we need now? NEEDS MORE COWBELL! Sorry I had to do that at least once.

 

And we’re already in the crowd. Steve is bleeding. I know he’s old school, but dang he could give Flair a run for his money in bleeding. Victory helps and it’s all about the cowbell. Is this a Christopher Walken special or something? This has been more in the crowd than in the ring of course. Dusty is bleeding now. Corino bites the cut over Dusty’s eye which I think is bleeding barbecue sauce instead of blood. And now it’s all about the blood.

 

Also, WHO CAME UP WITH THE STUPID COWBELL IDEA? I know it’s Dusty’s signature thing, but man I can’t stand this thing. Dusty is dominating by the way. Yeah the old guy that is in his mid fifties and hasn’t been a regular competitor in about ten years is beating a guy that is being groomed to be the top heel in the company.

 

Sure why not. Both guys have bells now. The referee helps Dusty tape a cowbell to the top of Corino’s head. And there’s a chair to the bell to the head. A Bionic Elbow ends it. Yes, the fat man goes over. I hate this company.

Rating: D. This was just stupid. Seriously, why is Dusty going over here? I know Corino isn’t as great as he’s made out to be, but there is ZERO justification here other than Dusty’s ego or position in the past or whatever. Why in the world would he need this win for a run in the company of all of four months? Just a bad match too with far too much cowbell (screw you Walken).

Sandman won’t be in the tournament tonight. Shocking.

Guido says he’ll win the title tonight.

Dangerous Alliance vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

The Alliance is CW Anderson and Bill Willes. Yeah I don’t know the second guy either. The announcer looks like a mean gerbil apparently. Lou E. Dangerously can do a great Heyman impression but that’s about it. He says…nothing yet since the people are all booing him. Apparently the PPV is named after him. Can we get on with this? The fans won’t shut up to let him do his thing.

 

He does it and I don’t care at all. The Dangerous Alliance thing was at least a good idea. Elektra was hot if nothing else and Roadkill was always a funny gimmick for some reason. The Alliance is supposed to be a throwback to the original Dangerous Alliance back in 91-92 which had perhaps more pure talent than any other stable ever, and that’s including the Horsemen at their best. This Billy guy is worthless. He’s supposed to be the Bobby Eaton guy of this team? That’s very funny.

 

Also the non Alliance team has become face since the last show somehow. Anderson works on Doring’s arm so at least he’s got that part of the gimmick down. Anderson is an interesting guy and not bad in the ring. This Billy guy simply isn’t. Doring hits the Stroke but it’s called the G-Spot Sweet here. Oh dear. It all breaks down of course and the heels are in trouble.

 

Willes takes a Lancaster Lariat of Lust. I can’t make these names up. Roadkill goes up for his top rope splash but Elektra turns heel and crotches him, allowing Anderson to hit the spinebuster for the pin as Elektra joins them.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure why but I liked this. They kept this WAY reeled in and it worked quite well. It’s a basic story and it came off well. Maybe it’s just a basic wrestling match happening and my mind being blown by that. Maybe Elektra’s hips did that. I’m not sure, but this was fine.

The Impact Players promise to get their tag belts back. Dang Dawn was hot.

Simon Diamond vs. Kid Kash

Seriously, a gimmick based on Kid Rock? Could we not get Billy Joel or Englebert Humperdink? And here’s Mike Awesome. No one gets why, but here he is. Oh and he and Raven are the tag champions now to go with the world title. He actually says get out of the ring or die. Diamond and company bail, leaving us with this.

Kid Kash vs. Mike Awesome

Sure why not. Kash kicks out of the splash early. It’s all Mike here as you wouldn’t expect. Shouldn’t Kash get in at least an early flurry? Ah there we go. Kash could do high spots if nothing else. For some reason I liked him when I was 12. It was a very strange time.

 

Kash hits a modified Pedigree on Awesome’s manager but gets knocked the heck out by Awesome. Kash hits a rana which of course DOES NOTHING because that move is worthless and gets knocked out again. And there’s your table. Powerbomb through it in 3, 2, 1…yeah there it is. Awesome wins of course.

Rating: D. Well Awesome lives up to his name and Kash gets destroyed. Was there a reason to not have the original match or am I just missing something? Apparently this was a world title match too. Pay no attention to the fact that we’re not told this until the very end and by that I mean when they say he’s still champion but whatever.

Post match Jazz comes out to help Kash but Jado and Gedo, two guys from Japan come out with Diamond to beat up Jazz. Here’s Nova and Chetti for the save and of course it’s an impromptu match!

Jado/Gedo vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

I’ve heard incredibly mixed reviews on Jado and Gedo but I think I’ve seen one match of theirs and it was a 6 man. We hear about how great Gedo is and he’s got a decent resume actually with wins over Jericho, Benoit and Malenko. Joey: Nova and Chetti have been together as a team now for a year minus the six months Chetti was out with a back injury.

 

I think that’s grounds for just saying they’ve been together for awhile. They tag with other people though but it’s all good. The Japanese guys like to mock opponents apparently. Joey can you freaking say who is who? I think Gedo is in the ring but I’m not sure. This show has been such a train wreck I’m not sure. Ah never mind that’s Jado. Gedo has a shirt on. Got it.

 

Nova gets a NICE superkick to the throat of Jado. That looked great and sounded great too. Chetti tries one and does quite well too. His only missed by six inches or so. Cyrus doesn’t know the referee’s name which means nothing at all but I need to fill in some space here. The Tidal Wave hits Gedo to end it. It’s a combination splash and leg drop but both guys jump from the same rope. It looked pretty cool.

Rating: D+. This was just a mess. It wasn’t bad or anything, but it was just a total mess. I know I said that already but it’s the only way to put it. Why are the Japanese guys here? Why did Nova and Chetti pick this time to run down? How was a contract agreed to and sanctioned so fast? Yes I know I’m nitpicking but dang man. That’s two in a row with nothing but random match to explain it. That’s not good.

Dangerously talks about doing well tonight. Elektra is REALLY, REALLY bad at talking. Good grief SHUT UP ALREADY!

TV Title Tournament Semi–Finals: Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Hey look: another cruiserweight match but this time there’s something close to meaning! The winner fights Rhyno for the title in the main event. The Network doesn’t like Crazy apparently. Crazy hits a great moonsault to the floor. Again this match is just all over the place and going so fast you can’t tell if anything is working or not.

 

We’re told that Heenan put vodka in his water cup. That explains a lot. Guido hooks a Fujiwara Armbar on Crazy on the floor to take over. See what I mean? That was decent, but it came and went so fast that it’s hard to tell if it was good or not. And there’s a chair. Wow we went awhile without many weapons tonight. Crazy gets the ten punches in Spanish and then does it again to Big Sal.

 

You have to give the ECW fans this: they were well rehearsed. During this fight for a belt we get a fight over a belt. See how low I have to sink for jokes here? Guido misses an elbow and goes through a table. A brainbuster and a moonsault gives us our finals.

Rating: C. So? That’s all I can say here. So freaking what? This match or a combination of these two and Tajiri has been on every show for like 8 months now. SO? I mean seriously, why in the world should I care? They had a decent match and then they’ll likely have more later. It’s entertaining and to be fair one is getting a midcard title shot, but I flat out do not see a reason to care one bit here.

Buy this video game! You can wrestle as Joey Styles! Yeah the game completely sucked as it was just War Zone but with ECW characters and blood.

W*ING Kanemura vs. Balls Mahoney

Kinemura is from FMW and is something close to a hardcore legend. THIS gets a big match intro? Joey insists that this will be a hardcore match. Thanks Joey as I never would have guessed that. Kanemura hits a nice senton from the top. Oh and his first name is Kintaro here. He’s more known as W*ING though (and yes that’s the real spelling) so I’ll go with that. Not like it matters though as it’s a 2 minute match with a sitout powerslam ending it with Balls getting the win.

Rating: N/A. Just nothing here but a transitional thing to this.

The Baldies run in and beat up Balls but here’s New Jack and THAT FREAKING SONG. This is a very infamous moment so I’m not going to call this an actual match or anything. Expect a long rant later on. New Jack beats them up with stuff including a Playstation and I don’t care at all.

 

We fight over a pizza cutter for a bit and this is just wasting my time. Come on I have the Smackdown Pilot waiting on me but I have to do this first. And let’s go into the crowd because that hasn’t been done at all tonight. And now we get to the famous part of this, as we fight to a scaffolding.

There are two tables set on top of each other and they climb up the scaffolding. It should definitely be noted that it’s just that: a scaffold. In scaffold matches there was usually at least something solid to stand on. This is a beam that is only a few inches wide. They’re both clearly scared to death and I can’t blame them.

 

This is one of the scariest things I’ve ever seen. And there it is. New Jack I guess tries a suplex off the scaffold. It doesn’t work. At all. New Jack completely misses the tables and lands feet first. Grimes on the other hand lands on his head, and I mean both versions of his. Grimes lands head first and his body lands on New Jack’s head. Both guys are of course completely unconscious and we go to a wide shot while medics come in.

 

Remember that Grimes weighs about 400lbs. Sure let’s show replays and keep the freaking song going while the fans cheer. New Jack had brain damage and was at least temporarily blinded by this. It resulted in him attempting to severely injure or even kill Grimes (his words) at another show after ECW closed. This brings the show to a complete halt and lets the fans cheer incessantly.

So again we have violence for the sake of violence and stunts for the sake of stunts. And look what happened: two guys were almost killed because of it. But hey, the people are cheering right? Hey, people are going to buy more New Jack stuff now because he’s hardcore right?

 

This is another example of having no regard or respect for the lives of workers. Having them stand on a two inch bar 20 feet in the air is just flat out irresponsible, negligent and arguably criminal. Why in the world did we need to do this? Ah yes: we needed to top what we did last month.

 

Seriously, why do we have to do this? Instead of a regular wrestling match, we had to see a crutch to the balls and a vacuum shot to the back before we dive twenty feet and nearly kill two men. Not only that, but in a promotion called XPW, they had another match and New Jack tried to kill him for revenge.

 

And these incidents happened on a professional wrestling show. What do these things have to do with professional wrestling? I’ve yet to see any connection between being slammed into the concrete from a scaffold and a wrestling match. This was just flat out not needed and the fact that they didn’t die, which isn’t an exaggeration as allegedly a six inch difference would have killed New Jack, is a perk is just not acceptable.

After Joey and Cyrus stall for time, it’s time for the three way dance.

Tag Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Masato Tanaka vs. Impact Players vs. Mike Awesome/Raven

So the Impact Players were the champions and Tanaka/Dreamer beat them and held the belts for a week. Then Awesome and Raven took the belts and are defending here. They won them 8 days ago so the Impact Players lost the titles just over two weeks ago. Raven and Awesome hit the ring at a sprint and we’re already going. Awesome takes out Justin and Jason in a nice looking dive.

 

Dreamer gets a nice pop and here are the other former champions who were just thrown together but that makes them a great team of course. We get a Rocky Horror reference and Cyrus points out that the Players are the only real team here. Raven and Dreamer fight in the ring which just feels right.

 

Awesome goes through a table as it’s just a massive mess rather than anything close to a coherent match. The Roaring Elbow puts Awesome and Raven out in like 4 minutes. Ok then. So get the nameplates ready for the Impact Players again. Oh come on like they’re going to lose to Dreamer and Tanaka. Dreamer is bleeding. Justin botches a spinning DDT to the complete lack of shock from me.

 

Hey look: TAGGING IN A TAG TEAM MATCH! Dreamer hits some stuff to make the hot tag and Jason comes in to make it 3-2 which is just fine. Tanaka beats them both up just because he can and we’re doing nothing but near falls already. A kendo stick to the head of Dreamer puts him down and at least we get Diamond Dust so I can be somewhat happy.

 

A belt shot and spike piledriver to Dreamer give the Players the belts back. Cyrus runs down to celebrate. The belts would be vacated in about a month when Justin won the world title and wouldn’t be replaced for about four months, so you won’t see a PPV tag title match for a good while.

Rating: D. Again just a total mess here that nothing came from. Also this lasted 9 more minutes. Everything has flown by here and there has been no substance to anything whatsoever. Also, why drop the belts if you’re just going to get them back in two weeks anyway? Ah right: it’s ECW. I just don’t care again here.

ECW TV Title Tournament Finals: Rhyno vs. Super Crazy

Cyrus just stayed in the ring and introduced this so there was almost no transition at all. Now common sense booking would say Sandman interferes here and costs Rhyno the belt. The fans get this too so they cheer for Sandman the majority of the match, completely taking the focus off of the guys in the match.

 

Before the match though Paul comes out and cusses out Cyrus, dropping about 5 F Bombs in just over a minute. And here’s Gertner to yell at Cyrus as well. He doesn’t do anything of course, but here’s Super Crazy. I’ll give them points for elevating a midcard guy, but no one cares as neither guy has beaten RVD so there’s no point to this really. The company is completely dead at this point but they kept going for about another 10 months or so.

 

And Crazy dominates the monster with flips and stuff as the fans chant for Sandman. It’s table time already and Crazy goes through it. Rhyno hits a nice powerbomb for two. The Triple Moonsault hits and down goes the referee. Tajiri comes down and mists Crazy then kicks him. Oh look: ANOTHER table.

 

Rhyno mocks RVD, which of course brings him out to make whoever wins this look even less important. Scotty freaking Riggs comes in to help and RVD puts Rhyno through a table. Great way to make him look important. Crazy hits a moonsault to win the title.

 

He would hold it for a month then Tajiri would hold it for two weeks and then Rhyno would hold it for a full year save for a two week reign by Kid Kash in August. Rhyno beats everyone up afterwards and here’s Sandman who breaks the stick over his head. Metallica plays and the faces celebrate to end the show after two hours and twenty minutes. WOW.

Rating: D. I never would have dreamed it possible but this was somehow worse than the previous stuff. It had at least four different people running in and four tables used. What’s the point of having a champion again? This was just bad and RVD beating up Rhyno on one good leg is just idiotic. The Sandman chants didn’t help either. Horrible finish to a horrible PPV.

Overall Rating: F+. Where do I start? For one thing, the longest match of the night is the Bull Rope match at ten minutes and thirteen seconds. After that it’s the tag title match which is in essence a 2/3 falls match at 9 minutes and three seconds. Other than that I don’t think anything broke 8 minutes in length.

 

SERIOUSLY? You end a PPV at 10:20 which includes a long opening segment and a highlight package at the end and you have DUSTY FREAKING RHODES win the longest match of the night? Like I said throughout this review, it felt like they were in a rush all night. What could they possibly have been rushing to? They could have had another thirty minutes on this show but instead almost everything stays under 9 minutes?

 

Are you telling me you couldn’t add five more minutes to the tag titles? Or to Guido vs. Crazy? Or geez had ANOTHER MATCH? Dang even add five minutes to the Mahoney/Kanemura match and it would have helped. I get that the botch (which I’ll spare you more complaining about) in the New Jack thing made them run short, but you can’t thrown two guys out there for a squash or something?

 

Even with the intros and such it would have filled in some time. Or even have some promos and it gets better. Just give us SOMETHING dude. Was there a reason for the Sandman/Rhyno match not happening? Don’t tell me an injury, because it’s not like Sandman matches require a ton of actual wrestling or anything. Just a horrible PPV and the worse ECW show in a LONG time.