Smackdown
Date: January 5, 2024
Location: Rogers Arena, Vancouver, British, Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Kevin Patrick, Corey Graves

It’s the first Smackdown of the year and in this case it’s New Year’s Revolution. The big main event will determine who challenges Roman Reigns for the World Title at the Royal Rumble. On top of that though, the Rock showed up on Raw and seemed to call out Reigns for a showdown. We almost have to, ahem, acknowledge that here so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Rock’s return and line about Reigns.

Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman arrive, with Reigns literally laughing off a question about the Rock.

US Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Kevin Owens vs. Santos Escobar

Escobar has Angel and Humberto with him and cue Logan Paul to join commentary. The bell rings and cue the LWO to take out Angel and Humberto, allowing Owens to hit a Cannonball and frog splash for a fast two as we take a break. Back with Escobar knocking Owens off the top and taking over on the bad hand.

Owens fights out and grabs a chinlock so Escobar is right back on the hand in a smart move. Escobar sends him hard into the barricade as the fans chant for Logan, who gets up to pose in a smart move. Back in and Owens catches Escobar coming off the top with an atomic drop into a DDT for a needed breather. Owens goes up top and Escobar is right there, only to get caught with the swinging superplex (Graves: “Logan, don’t ever try to superplex Kevin Owens.” Paul: “What happens?” Graves: “This.”).

We take another break and come back with Owens superkicking him out to the floor but the Swanton hits raised knees. Escobar snaps off a top rope hurricanrana for two, only to have Owens catch him on top with a super Regal Roll for two of his own. The Stunner is blocked so Owens hits a superkick but his pop up powerbomb is countered into another hurricanrana. The second powerbomb attempt works though and the Stunner sends Owens to the Royal Rumble at 16:49.

Rating: B. This got rolling near the end as they were trading moves and counters until Owens finally caught him with the big one. While there was the downside of Owens being the pretty obvious winner since the tournament started, it was nice to see the whole thing paid off with a good match. At the very least, we’ll get more of Owens and Paul taking awesome shots at each other for a few weeks until the title match at the Rumble.

Post match Paul congratulates Owens and mocks the idea of a Canadian being the US Champion. Paul brags about himself and gets dropped with a right hand.

Video on Randy Orton, who is in the #1 contenders match tonight.

Post break Austin Theory and Grayson Waller console Logan Paul but get in a shoving match with Cameron Grimes.

Here are Bobby Lashley and the Street Profits for a chat. Lashley talks about having a rough 2023 because he didn’t have the success he wanted. Then he hooked up with the Street Profits and things got better. The Profits talk about how they want the Tag Team Titles, while Lashley is going to enter the Royal Rumble. Cue Karrion Kross and Scarlett (now a brunette), plus Paul Ellering of all people. The AOP jump Lashley and the Profits from behind as the return that was all but revealed two weeks ago comes true.

Video on AJ Styles.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Iyo Sky vs. Michin

Michin is challenging and the seconds all stay in the back. They fight over a lockup to start until Sky flips away from her for a standoff. Sky takes her to the mat for a double stomp but Michin gets in a whip to the floor. There’s the big dive to drop the champ and we take a break. Back with Sky escaping a powerbomb but Michin’s gutwrench suplex gets two. A half crab sends Sky over to the rope so they head to the apron, where Sky snaps off a nasty German suplex.

Since it was just a German suplex on the apron, Michin is able to block Over The Moonsault and hit a dragon suplex for two. They go to the corner and it’s a super Styles Clash for a rather near fall, with Sky having to grab the rope. Michin misses another suicide dive though and the running knees in the corner set up Over The Moonsault to retain the title at 10:21.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure if there was much of a reason to believe Michin was going to win the title here but it was nice to see someone fresh getting into the title picture. Michin is a good hand who can work well with a lot of people and she did well enough here. It might not have been a great match, but for a title defense on a special show, it did exactly what it needed to do.

Paul Heyman is asked about the Rock and isn’t pleased with Rock inviting himself to the Head Of The Table. Rock has not received an invitation and is just trying to go viral, like John Cena, Brock Lesnar or Cody Rhodes, who like to interrupt Roman Reigns. CM Punk is back and talks about being an OG Paul Heyman Guy, but Heyman has upgraded from friend to advocate to Wise Man. Heyman promises Reigns will smash any of his opponents at the Royal Rumble to wrap things up, as he sounded a good bit shakier than usual here, which is exactly what he should have been doing.

Damage CTRL congratulates Iyo Sky on retaining her title and now the team wants the Women’s Tag Team Titles. And the Royal Rumble, but Bianca Belair comes in to say she’ll be in the Rumble and beat Bayley next week as a bonus.

Pretty Deadly vs. Butch/???

Butch’s mystery partner is….Tyler Bate from NXT. Bate and Wilson go to the mat to start with Bate flipping out of a headscissors and getting two off a rollup. Butch comes in for a basement dropkick to the back, followed by stereo running dives to take out Pretty Deadly on the floor.

We take a break and come back with Butch fighting out of a chinlock. That’s enough for the diving tag to Bate so house can be quickly cleaned. The airplane spin leaves Wilson down and the rebound lariat/German suplex combination puts him down again. Prince gets in a cheap shot but Wilson can’t grab what looked to be a Twist of Fate. A double Tyler Driver 97 finishes Wilson at 7:53.

Rating: C+. This was about bringing in Bate for his first match on Smackdown and it went well enough all things considered. I could go for Butch getting away from the Brawling Brutes and if he won’t be a singles star, pairing him with Bate is far from the worst idea. At the same time, it’s almost weird to see Pretty Deadly losing, but I’m sure they’ll be fine going forward with that kind of charisma.

Video on LA Knight.

Ashante Thee Adonis comes in to see Nick Aldis to say he’s a starving dog. Aldis says he doesn’t feel sorry for him but he has believed in Adonis since the beginning. He promises some ideas for him going forward.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Randy Orton

For the shot against Roman Reigns at the Royal Rumble. We’re joined in progress after a break with Knight being knocked into the corner but Styles takes Orton into another corner for the stomping. Knight is back with a running clothesline to put Styles on the floor, with Knight following to send both of them face first into the announcers’ table over and over.

Orton drops them both onto said table but Styles does it right back to him in a nice counter. The fans deem this awesome as Orton breaks up the Phenomenal Forearm and hits the hanging DDT. Knight breaks up the RKO though and Orton is sent into the steps. Styles dives onto Knight to leave them all down as we take a break.

Back with Styles hitting the basement forearm to Knight and knocking Orton out to the floor again. Orton fights back and sends Styles into the steps before taking over on Knight back inside. A quick BFT drops Orton but Styles breaks up the cover at the last second. Knight and Styles slug it out with Styles getting the better of it, setting up the springboard 450 for two. Orton is back in with the RKO to Styles but this time Knight (who got busted open somewhere in there) makes the save….and we’ve got the Bloodline. The big beatdown is on and we’ll call it a no contest at about 16:30 shown.

Rating: B-. Gah that ending took down what was turning into a good match. Knight did better than I would have expected here, as he was in there with bigger stars but more than held his own in a big match. Orton and Styles were their normal selves but their long breaks seem to have done good for both of them. That being said, we’re now going with Roman Reigns and Paul Heyman being dumb enough to think this idea is going to work?

Post match the beatdown is on, with Reigns and company laying waste to the other three. Nick Aldis comes out and tells Paul Heyman (the Bloodline can’t hear him) that Reigns has just earned himself a four way at the Royal Rumble.

Overall Rating: B-. The best thing I can say here is that it felt like things mattered, which is what this show needed to accomplish. The wrestling was good enough and the show flew by, though that ending felt more like Reigns and Heyman turning into morons for the sake of setting up a new title match. The rest of the show was good enough, but the main event mattered more than anything else and it left the show on a weaker note.

Results
Kevin Owens b. Santos Escobar – Stunner
Iyo Sky b. Michin – Over The Moonsault
Butch/Tyler Bate b. Pretty Deadly – Double Tyler Driver 97 to Wilson
AJ Styles vs. LA Knight vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest when the Bloodline interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

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New Year’s Revolution 2007
Date: January 7, 2007
Location: Kemper Memorial Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the first pay per view of the year with Raw running the annual early January show. This time around we have a double main event of John Cena defending the Raw World Title against the undefeated Umaga and a pretty big grudge match between D-Generation X and Rated-RKO, winner gets the exclusive hyphen rights. Let’s get to it.

The cage is lowered for the opening.

Opening sequence, featuring a look at the double main event and nothing else. That is probably a good idea.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

In a cage and Nitro, with Melina, is challenging. Nitro starts fast by hammering him around the ring early on and Hardy gets pounded down in the corner. Hardy is back with some right hands but a belly to back faceplant puts him down again. The Flying Chuck gets two on Hardy, who scores with the flying clothesline/half Sling Blade. The mule kick drops Nitro again but a Stunner over the top rope cuts Hardy off. Nitro drives him into the cage (first time it has been used so far) but Jeff is right back to cut off a climb attempt.

A dropkick sends Nitro back first into the cage and they both crash down. Hardy can’t get out yet, despite a heck of a jump to the top of the cage. Nitro belly to back superplexes him right back down but Hardy is back with a catapult into the cage. They both go up to the top and it’s a super Russian legsweep to bring them both back down. Hardy goes up so Nitro climbs onto him for the save, setting up a sunset bomb for another double knockdown. Nitro is up first and tries to climb out so Hardy pulls him…not down as Nitro has his legs tied in the cage, meaning Jeff crashes hard.

Since that is rather painful, Nitro comes back down and Jeff reaches for the cage, only to have Melina whip the wall with her belt. A missile dropkick puts Hardy down again but he counters a high crossbody into….something, but it puts them both down. It’s Nitro up first but Hardy pulls him over the top, only to have a super Twist of Fate broken up. Nitro starts climbing out as Hardy goes for the door, meaning Nitro climbs around to the door to stop him instead of, you know, jumping down. Melina blocks the door as a bonus, so Hardy kicks it open, crotching Nitro on the top in the process, and retains.

Rating: B-. This was built around the idea of two people going up and then crashing back down a lot, which is where Hardy excels. The ending was clever too so it was a pretty good way to go about the title match. It’s a smart choice for an opener as anyone can get into the idea of a cage match, especially between some people as talented as these two.

Rated-RKO can’t believe that they are being asked about how their issues with DX became personal. They have busted DX open and now they are fighting for their futures. Tonight, they’re finishing DX.

Tag Team Turmoil

Bonus match for the #1 contendership. The Highlanders are in at #1 and Charlie Haas/Shelton Benjamin are in at #2 to get things going. Rory and Haas start things off with neither getting very far, meaning it’s off to Robbie instead. Haas gets taken into the corner but Rory misses a charge in the corner, allowing the villains to take over. Benjamin gets to hit the jumping dive onto Rory’s back and Haas adds a slam onto the back for two.

The chinlock goes on but Shelton’s legs go off on a slam, allowing Rory to fall on top for two. Robbie comes in and gets to clean some house, including a belly to back suplex to Haas. Benjamin rakes Robbie’s eyes on top though and a top rope superplex is good for the pin. Jim Duggan/Super Crazy is in at #3 (much to commentary’s shock) with Duggan hammering and clotheslining Benjamin.

A running knee lift takes Duggan back down and the beating is on in the corner. Duggan hits the three point clothesline for a breather though and the hot tag brings in Crazy to pick up the pace. Crazy hits a basement dropkick on Haas but Benjamin hits a cheap shot from the floor, allowing Haas to grab a bridging German suplex for the pin. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch are in at #4 with Cade slamming Benjamin in a hurry.

An atomic drop sets up Murdoch’s big boot and the neck crank goes on. A neckbreaker finally gets Benjamin out of trouble and it’s back to Haas to (barely) pick up the pace. Haas flapjacks Murdoch to set up the Haas of Pain (an underrated hold) but Cade breaks it up, allowing Murdoch to steal the pin. Cryme Tyme is in at #5 as JR tries to figure out if there are any more teams left on the Raw roster. Given that we had one new team thrown in, that means the division is four teams, plus the champs who are barely involved with the rest of the teams.

Shad hammers Cade down to start but JTG dances a bit too long, allowing Murdoch to come back in. Commentary confirms that these are the last two teams and Murdoch elbows JTG down. Some choking with the tag rope keeps JTG in trouble but Murdoch dives into a raised boot. Cade breaks up the hot tag though because this match needs to keep going. JTG finally slides out of a double suplex though and it’s the hot tag to Shad so house can be cleaned. Everything breaks down and the G9 hits Cade to give Shad the pin.

Rating: D. This was long, not very interesting and showed how lame the tag division is at the moment. Cryme Tyme was the only option to win here and it could be a good Tag Team Title match, but this really did not need to go almost twenty minutes. Pretty bad match here, but much more boring than bad, which is even worse.

Vince McMahon and Jonathan Coachman are in the back with Vince complaining about how much Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump have been yelling at each other as of late. Coach thinks it sounds like something coming out of the WWE. Vince: “It sounds like something coming out of the WWE.” Therefore, we need to resolve it with physical abuse, meaning we can have a match between the two of them on Raw. Oh here we go. Coach is also glad that Vince has taken back YOU’RE FIRED and goes on about it so long that Vince leaves. Ron Simmons comes in for the catchphrase.

Ric Flair vs. Kenny Dykstra

Dykstra comes out in a Flair style robe. Before the match, he talks about knowing that Flair got hit with a Conchairto on Raw but just because Flair saying that he is “still recovering” is no excuse to not come out here and take his beating. Cue Flair in the pink robe and we’re ready to go. Commentary talks about how much Flair had accomplished by the time Kenny was born (four World Titles) as Dykstra hits the strut to start. A dropkick puts Flair down for an early two and there’s a fist drop to keep him in trouble.

Flair is right back with the chops and shots to the face, including a big chop to put Kenny on the floor. That’s too much waiting for Flair so he follows Kenny out, only to get suplexed for a hard landing. Back in and another suplex gives Kenny two, followed by a strutting elbow for the same. Kenny grabs a Boston crab to draw some screaming but Flair (very) eventually makes the rope.

Flair chops his way out of the corner but Kenny knocks him right back down. Kenny’s Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Flair unloads in the corner. For some reason Flair goes up top but gets slammed back down. A poke to the eye gives Flair a breather though and it’s time for some chop blocks. There’s a knee to the head and a step between the legs, setting up the Figure Four. Flair even gets in some slaps but Kenny finally makes the rope. They slug it out in the corner until Kenny gets in a quick low blow, setting up the small package for the pin.

Rating: D+. Much like the previous match, this wasn’t the most interesting match because Dykstra isn’t exactly thrilling to see most of the time. They’re playing up the idea that Flair doesn’t have it anymore, but the head injury wasn’t a factor and it was mainly Flair getting beaten up for ten minutes. I’ll give them points for trying with Kenny though, as they could use some fresh talent.

Melina checks on Johnny Nitro in the trainer’s room. Nitro says to call Joey Mercury because the Hardys are going to pay for what they did. Melina goes to make the call but runs into Victoria, who says Melina is the one Diva missing from her list. That’s because they can be a team who can take over the women’s division. If Melina helps her win the Women’s Title tonight, Melina can have the first title shot.

We recap Victoria’s hit list, setting up her title shot tonight.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Mickie James

Victoria is challenging and shoves Mickie down without much effort to start. Something like a Muta Lock has Mickie in trouble and Victoria shows off a bit by backflipping onto her feet. Mickie is back up with some armdrags into a dropkick for two but the hurricanrana out of the corner is broken up. Instead Victoria kicks her to the floor for a drop onto the apron. Back in and a hair toss gives Victoria two but she misses a moonsault.

Mickie slugs away for two and grabs a hurricanrana out of the corner. Cue Melina to check on Victoria so Mickie hits her in the face. The MickieDT is broken up by a Melina distraction. Cue Maria and Candice Michelle to take care of Melina as Mickie reverses the Widow’s Peak into a sunset flip for two. Mickie counters a slam into a tornado DDT for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was kind of a mess and the ending didn’t make it much better. The problem here was that there wasn’t much of a reason to believe that Victoria was winning the title, even though she pinned Mickie a few weeks ago. Then you throw in the interference, which was hardly interesting either. Not terrible, but this show is needing a big pick up and this wasn’t it.

Post match Mickie, Candice, Maria and Lilian Garcia (who Victoria went after as well) celebrate.

We recap Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X, which somehow is focused almost entirely on Ric Flair. Rated-RKO took Flair out and since DX are basically Flair’s kids, it’s time for some revenge. DX got beaten down as well though, even if that doesn’t make it quite as personal as the Flair stuff.

Tag Team Titles: Rated-RKO vs. D-Generation X

Rated-RKO is defending. Before the match, HHH uses his weird frosted cereal analogy and it still doesn’t quite work. The brawl starts in the aisle, as it should have in a feud this violent. HHH backdrops Edge onto the ramp and throws him inside for the bell and some right hands from Shawn. It’s already off to HHH to stomp away and sends Edge face first into the corner but Shawn misses a charge into the post. Orton gets to come in and hammer away in the corner, only to get snapmared down for a stomp to the face.

There’s an elbow on the apron from HHH and a legdrop from Shawn as the beating continues. Orton is a bit cut open so DX takes turns hammering away at the head. Edge’s cheap shot from the apron cuts HHH off though and the champs take over for the first time. HHH’s leg is wrapped around the post but he kicks a Figure Four attempt away to send Edge shoulder first into the post. The hot tag brings in Shawn to clean house and there’s the big dive to the floor to take out Edge and Orton.

They head back in, with Edge spearing Shawn off the apron and back to the floor. Orton gets in a belt shot to Shawn to bust him open as well (and much worse than Orton) and Edge is right there to hammer on the cut. Back in and Orton hits the rapid fire circle stomp for two and it’s off to Edge again for more right hands to the head. Orton forearms away at the back and strikes a pose, followed by some raking of the eyes. The double arm crank goes on but Shawn fights up for a suplex.

Edge hits a big boot though and it’s Orton coming back in to load up the RKO. Since that takes the better part of ever, Shawn shoves it away and it’s a double tag to bring in Edge and HHH. House is cleaned and there’s a facebuster into a clothesline to send Edge outside. The spinebuster hits Orton….and HHH has torn his quad again (meaning he’ll be gone until Summerslam). He is still able to hit (most of) a spinebuster on Edge for two but Orton hits an RKO (or as close as HHH can get to taking one).

Shawn superkicks Orton down and Edge covers HHH for two. Back up the spear hits corner, allowing HHH to hit a better than expected Pedigree. That seems to be all he had left though as he can’t really cover, with Orton making a save. Shawn sends Orton outside for a dive and hits the referee, followed by a pair of nasty chair shots. HHH gets a chair of his own as Orton is WAY busted open. DX unloads with chair shots and stands tall as the match is thrown out.

Rating: B. HHH managing to fight through the ending alone is worth a bonus as that is one of the more impressive things I’ve seen in a good bit. It was a good match leading up to the injury and then they kept it moving even after that. With the ending being the perfect way to keep things going and get out of a bad situation. HHH was impressive here but it’s a shame that he is going to be gone for so long.

Post match (Maybe?) it’s a Pedigree to put Edge onto (not through) the announcers’ table and Shawn’s elbow puts Orton through another announcers’ table.

John Cena is told that it is clear Umaga wants some, but will he get some. Cena does his movie trailer/hype man impression and manages to mock Umaga’s lack of English at the same time. Thankfully Cena gets serious and admits that he is up against a monster who has not been pinned or made to submit. He isn’t going to give up though because he is proud to call himself the WWE Champion. Umaga is undefeated but nothing lasts forever and nothing is stopping him from leaving as WWE Champion.

Orton’s blood is EVERYWHERE, with a pool of it laying on the floor.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

Torrie Wilson is here with Carlito. Masters bails into the corner to start so Carlito takes him down and hammers away with left hands. A backdrop gets Masters out of trouble but Carlito is right back with a shot to the face. The double springboard moonsault gives Carlito two but Masters throws him down with one arm. A backbreaker into a clothesline gets two on Carlito and Masters asks if he is trying to impress Torrie. Back up and Carlito hits a knee lift into a flapjack for two so Masters tries the Masterlock. That’s blocked as well but the counter is countered into a cradle (with trunks) to give Masters the pin.

Rating: C-. Another Raw level match here and that is not what the show needed. Masters and Carlito are not the most interesting people in the first place and now we get to see them having a pay per view match in the cool down spot. That isn’t exactly thrilling and I was hoping that they would get on with it already.

Post match Masters knocks Carlito out with the Masterlock.

We recap Umaga vs. John Cena for the Raw World Title. Umaga is an undefeated monster so he is getting a title shot. Before we get there, Umaga beat Cena up a few times but Cena isn’t backing down.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

Umaga is challenging and has Armando Alejandro Estrada in his corner. We’re ready to go after the Big Match Intros with Cena sticking and moving to start. A missed charge to the floor does a bit more damage but Cena goes after him again and gets tossed outside. Back in and Cena gets up an elbow and boot in the corner, earning himself a hard clothesline. Cena hammers away with right hands but gets taken down with a Samoan drop.

Umaga knocks him face first into the announcers’ table and then the barricade for a bonus. Back in and Cena can’t sunset flip or slam him, with Umaga falling on top for two on the latter. A legdrop gets two but Umaga misses a charge, allowing Cena to go up. The high crossbody is countered into the swinging release Rock Bottom for two as Umaga keeps the pace slow. Umaga sits down on Cena’s chest as JR compares him to Yokozuna. Another cannonball lands on raised knees but Umaga sends him outside without much effort.

The nerve holds keeps Cena in trouble and an elbow to the face drops him again. The middle rope Samoan Spike only hits mat though and Cena wins the slugout. Cena sends him head first into the post and the ProtoBomb drops Umaga again. Umaga is back with the belly to belly and hangs Cena in the Tree of Woe for the flying headbutt. The running Umaga Attack hits boots though and Cena grabs a rollup out of nowhere to retain the title.

Rating: B-. I really liked the finish here as it felt like the most out of nowhere finish they could have had. That’s also the smartest finish they could have had, as it would have been a bit waste to have Umaga go down to the FU. Umaga completely dominated here but got caught instead of getting beaten. That’s a perfect way to set up a rematch and I’d be down for another one. What they did worked well, even if it wasn’t a great match on the way there.

Post match Cena celebrates as Umaga breaks a lot of stuff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. The two major matches helped a lot but this was one of the most lifeless shows that I have seen in a very long time. It just wasn’t a very entertaining show with most of the matches being more boring than bad. There wasn’t much on here that felt pay per view worthy and while the two big matches worked, they didn’t work enough to make up for the rest of the show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

IMG Credit: WWE

Date: January 8, 2006
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 11,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Jonathan Coachman

We’ve got a one match show here and that doesn’t exactly instill me with confidence. This show is all about the Elimination Chamber, with John Cena defending the Raw World Title against five challengers. The only other match of note on the card is Big Show vs. HHH, but it’s a far cry from the main event. Let’s get to it.

The opening video only focuses on the Chamber, which is all it should be doing.

Intercontinental Title: Ric Flair vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Flair takes a bit too long getting ready though and Edge jumps him to start, meaning it’s some early choking in the corner. The chops get Flair out of trouble and it’s time to hammer away at the head. A quick Lita chase lets Edge hit a clothesline though and there’s a suplex on the floor. Back in and Edge stomps away in the corner before raining down the right hands.

Flair slugs away though and knocks Edge outside for the crotching on the barricade. Lita tries to make a save as Flair goes up top so he pokes her in the eye and manages to hit the top rope shot to the head. Another Lita distraction fails (this time with Flair giving her the pelvic thrusts) and Flair backdrops Edge outside. That leaves Lita to get caught in the Figure Four, only to have Edge come in with the briefcase for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one and it’s kind of a disappointment after Edge has been such a thorn to Edge for so long. They seemed to be setting the stage for a rematch down the line, but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. That’s not exactly a great way to go when this show is already a one note evening anyway.

Post match Flair is busted open so Edge hammers away, followed by another briefcase shot to leave him laying.

Kurt Angle and Daivari hope that America loses the war in Iraq, express their love for France, acknowledge that they don’t really like “the black people” and if there was one person Angle would want to make tap out in history, it would be Jesus. All this proves is that he can say anything he wants and fans will cheer him because he’s that awesome. He won his first title here in Albany and he’ll do it again here tonight.

Flair is just now being taken out of the ring.

We recap Mickie James vs. Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. Mickie is basically a crazed stalker who might have romantic feelings for Trish as well. They’re fighting tonight, but Mickie seems way more excited about being in the ring with Trish rather than the chance of winning the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Mickie James

Mickie is challenging and can’t cartwheel out of a wristlock to start. A hammerlock into a headlock keeps Trish in control so Mickie grabs the chest for the creepy escape. Mickie slips out of a hammerlock and grabs a rollup for two before kicking Trish outside. Back in and Trish kicks her hard in the head for her own knock to the floor.

Mickie gets in a shot to the face and they head back inside, with Trish chopping away. The Stratusphere into a spinebuster gets two but Mickie is back with her own Stratusfaction. That gets a delayed two but Trish is back up with a failed Stratusfaction attempt. Mickie lands on her feet, only to walk into the Chick Kick to retain Trish’s title.

Rating: B. Trish has taken a big step forward in recent months as she looked a lot more serious here and felt like a star. This came off like a fight between two people who wanted to win a match and you don’t see that in the division very often. It’s nice to see two people taking this seriously and having a serious match. It doesn’t help though when the rest of the division is Victoria and various parts of other wrestlers.

Maria interviews herself about the gauntlet match when Gregory Helms interrupts to say he’s about to get rid of Jerry Lawler.

Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin arrive, with Mama going to get him something nice to eat.

Edge doesn’t want to talk to fans on WWE.com.

Gregory Helms vs. Jerry Lawler

Helms armdrags him down to start so Lawler goes with the classic right hands. A backdrop gives Lawler two and he even strikes the Hurricane pose for a chuckle. That’s enough to send a frustrated Helms to the floor but he comes back in with a poke to the eye. The choking is on, followed by a suplex for what is likely the biggest spot of the match.

Helms hits a second one as commentary makes sure you know that Lawler is a former World Champion. That’s a good idea, as not only was it a different promotion, but also over fifteen years ago. Let the fans know that Lawler was a big deal in his day, as some fans aren’t going to know. We hit the neck crank into a backbreaker so Helms can go up to the middle rope.

Helms is ready for the raised boot so he stomps away again and sends Lawler outside for a posting. After a quick cameo on commentary, Helms hits a middle rope dropkick for two back inside. Lawler avoids a charge into the corner though and there goes the strap. Some right hands connect and the threat of the piledriver gets the fans’ attention. That’s blocked by a backdrop though, only to have Helms get crotched on top. The fist drop gives Lawler the pin.

Rating: D. This was a weird one as it was set up on Monday, had almost no heat, and didn’t get any kind of a reaction outside of the piledriver tease. Then again, why in the world would you have this on pay per view with Lawler winning? Lawler can do this basic match in his sleep so it was passable from a technical sense, but I’m not sure how much sense it made.

Mickie runs into Trish at the interview room and talks about their sweaty bodies touching. Trish: “You do know you just lost right?” Mickie sits in on the interview with her.

Mama Benjamin wants some cornbread and cabbage at catering but here’s Viscera to hit on her in various ways. Mama snaps up and introduces herself, so Viscera offers to let him be her daddy. A match is set for later, and Mama takes his food.

We recap Big Show vs. HHH. Big Show cost him his Elimination Chamber qualifying match so HHH wants revenge. He crushed Show’s hand with a sledgehammer, only to have Show’s hand go into a very hard cast.

Big Show vs. HHH

They circle each other to start and Show knocks him outside with one shot. Back in and a chop brings HHH to his knees, followed by anther to put him down. The elbow drop sends HHH bailing to the floor for a second before coming back in again. This time, Show sends him flying over the corner as nothing is working so far. HHH gets in a jumping knee to the face and they head outside again but Show punches the post by mistake.

Back in and HHH sends the hand into the post to do some serious damage. Show gets back up and hits a headbutt, only to miss a charge and crash out to the floor. The cast is torn off and HHH rips at the fingers, setting up the knee to the hand. A quick armbar sets up another ram into the post but Show fights out of the top wristlock. Show knocks HHH into the referee so HHH pulls out the sledgehammer.

The bad hand breaks the hammer in half and a superkick puts HHH down. The chair doesn’t work either for HHH so he hits Show low and uses the chair on the hand. Since it’s just his hand though, Show spears HHH down on the floor. Back in and HHH manages a sledgehammer shot to the head, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a long one with HHH working on the hand for a good while before going back to the trusty sledgehammer all over again. That being said, it was rather nice to have HHH doing ANYTHING other than being in the main event all over again. I know he hasn’t been there for a good while now, but after such a long time, it feels like he is there all the time.

Chris Masters and Carlito form the alliance before the Chamber.

Lawler joins commentary.

Here are Shelton Benjamin and Mama Benjamin with Shelton demanding an apology. Mama says no way and shouts about how Shelton is going to beat Viscera up.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Viscera

Mama is very loud to start as Shelton is powered into the corner to start. A spinebuster plants Shelton again and it’s time to head outside for some Mama help. Viscera follows and beats on him a bit more, only to have Shelton get in a dropkick to the leg back inside. With Mama promising a SWEET POTATO PIE if Shelton wins, it’s time to go after the leg. Mama: “Come on you big ox.”

Viscera kicks him to the floor and it’s a Samoan drop to plant Shelton back inside. Mama: “DO I NEED TO GET THE BELT???” The big elbow gets two and there’s the spinning Samoan drop. Mama: “YOU BETTER WHOOP HIM OR I’M GONNA WHOOP YOU!” The Visagra has Mama panicking but Shelton knocks him into the ropes. Mama gets in a few purse shots, setting up the Dragon Whip for the pin.

Rating: D+. Another Raw level match but Mama was the story here. The problem is that while she was funny, she is going to get old in a hurry and that might have already started. It’s nice seeing Shelton win, but I really don’t get why he needs this kind of goofy deal to get him off the losing streak. It wasn’t the worst, but the gimmick is going to end anything Shelton has going.

Vince McMahon comes in to see Shawn Michaels. Shawn says he’ll win, Vince says he won’t.

Bra and Panties Gauntlet Match

Maria is in at #1 and Candice Michelle is in at #2. Candice breaks a nail to start and is so mad that she rips of Maria’s top. Maria evens things up as commentary makes every joke you would expect. Candice’s headscissors is countered though and Maria eliminates her. Torrie Wilson is in at #3 and runs Maria over with an elbow. Maria kicks her out to the floor though and gets rid of Torrie’s top. They roll over the referee and Torrie is so annoyed that Maria finishes her off to move on.

Victoria is in at #5 in a “Let’s get this over with” shirt. A quick standing moonsault lets Victoria eliminate Maria so here are Mae Young and Moolah to continue the oldest gag in company history. Mae takes her own top off (there are tassels on the bra) and the pants come down for a second as well. Victoria jumps Mae so they rip off her shirt….or at least try to as it gets stuck on her bra. Mae and Moolah leave so here’s Ashley at #6 to complete the field. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work and Ashley wins after about fifteen seconds in the ring.

Rating: D-. It takes a lot to make this kind of a match stupid but they managed to figure out a way to do so. Moolah and Mae stopped being funny years ago and I didn’t really need to see them again here. It’s even worse when you see how good a women’s match could be at this time, but other than Victoria, there just wasn’t anything worthwhile at this point.

Ashley takes her clothes off to celebrate.

Shelton is celebrating his win when his Mama has to tell him to watch his swearing. She references her purse helping and gives him a hug, with Shelton not being sure what to think of things.

Video on the Elimination Chamber.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Kurt Angle vs. Kane vs. Chris Masters vs. John Cena vs. Carlito

Cena is defending in the Elimination Chamber with four minute intervals. Joey talks about how he never saw anything as hardcore as this in ECW, showing that, again, WWE commentators have horrible memories. Shawn Michaels is in at #1 (as per Vince’s orders) and Cena is in at #2 (drawing a very notably mixed reaction, which is a pretty new thing for him). Shawn starts fast and throws him over the top as the dueling chants begin.

Back in and Cena hits a boot to the face, drawing even more booing. Shawn gets crotched on top and then clotheslined outside as Carlito is in at #3. Carlito jumps Cena and the place is VERY pleased, made even better as he dives over the ropes to take out Shawn. Back in and Carlito gets the biggest reactions of his career as he beats on Cena and a slightly weaker one as he suplexes Shawn.

Carlito keeps beating on both of them but a double flapjack takes them down. The double teaming is on but it’s Angle coming in at #4 for the rapid fire suplexes. Carlito and Shawn get suplexed over the top and onto the steel, followed by a catapult to send Shawn into the cage. Shawn is busted open and gets sent into the pod wall, leaving a blood stain on the Plexiglas in a cool/disturbing image. Cena fights back against Angle for a few seconds but gets knocked right back down.

There’s the ankle lock to Carlito but it’s Masters in at #5 for the safe to protect the alliance. The ankle lock (not Angle Lock Joey) has Master in trouble and then it’s even worse on Cena. Shawn breaks that up with a superkick and Angle is out in a hurry, all but guaranteeing the winner. Carlito and Masters beat up Shawn and Cena without much trouble until Kane is in at #6 (announced in advance) to start cleaning house.

Masters covers Cena for two and the comeback is on in a hurry. Masters gives Cena a DDT onto the cage, busting him open as well. The fans boo the heck out of Cena as the stomping continues instead of, you know, one of their finishers. Carlito wants the Masterlock but then hits Masters low for the rollup elimination. Cena rolls Carlito up to retain in a hurry.

Rating: D. It’s probably the worst Chamber match ever to this point and still one of the lowest on the all time list. The only realistic options to win were Cena and Angle, with Angle being gone after only a few minutes. Carlito and Masters aren’t ready to be threats to Cena so it was more a lot of sitting around waiting until we got to the finish rather than any kind of drama. It wasn’t a complete disaster, but it really wasn’t very good at all.

Hold on though because Vince McMahon is here before the lyrics in Cena’s music even start. We’re not done tonight because for the first time ever, someone is cashing in their Money in the Bank briefcase and the title is being defended RIGHT NOW.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Edge is challenging and has Lita with him. Cena is knocked down in a hurry so Edge hits the spear for two to take the life out of the fans again. That’s fine with Edge, who spears Cena again to win the title for the first time, which is a pretty cool moment and completely appropriate for him. Still one of the best cash-ins ever (maybe the best) and perfect for the situation.

Edge and Lita (Lawler: “Behind every man, there’s a sl**.”) celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I really didn’t like this show and there was almost nothing (scheduled) worth seeing, with Mickie vs. Trish being the only good thing about the whole thing. This has been a throw away show for its two year history and having the Elimination Chamber doesn’t help all that much. Edge cashing in helps it out a lot, but it’s just a short burst at the end of a two hour and forty minute show. Maybe it can help the show going forward, and this was a lot of proof as to why it was needed.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2004 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/08/26/new-book-and-e-book-kbs-complete-2004-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Date: January 9, 2005
Location: Coliseo de Puerto Rico, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 15,764
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The opening video starts by talking about how awesome Puerto Rico is but bleeds into a video on the horrors of the Chamber. It’s a simple idea but what else are they supposed to talk about here?

Tag Team Titles: Christian/Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene/William Regal

Regal and Eugene are defending. Eugene now has a Hulk Hogan inspired bandanna and shirt, making him just a bit more awesome. Regal works on Christian’s arm to start but Christian takes him down with a wristdrag. Some shoulders give Regal two and the basics continue with a hiptoss, allowing the tag off to Eugene. That means Christian’s tights are pulled up rather far and Eugene dances a bit.

Eugene leapfrogs over him and gets on all fours for the headbutts and raising of a leg. Tomko comes in so Eugene bails to the floor to high five some fans. The villains give chase but Eugene sneaks underneath the ring and rams Christian into Tomko for a bit of fun. We settle down to Tomko taking over on Eugene, including some elbows to the face in the corner.

Christian comes in for some shots to the head but it’s time to Hulk Up. The comeback includes a backdrop (not exactly a Hogan specialty) and a tag to Regal, who fires off some dropkicks of all things. Tomko takes him down again though and some elbow drops get two. We hit the chinlock as Regal’s nose is already busted. It’s back to Tomko for some choking as the fans tell him that he sucks. A cheap shot from Christian cuts off Regal’s comeback attempt and it’s off to a front facelock.

Regal starts heading over for the tag but Christian pulls Eugene down, meaning there’s no one to tag. For some reason Eugene doesn’t move two feet forward to tag Regal when he makes the corner and it’s Tomko pulling Regal back into the corner. A missed charge lets Regal make the tag though and the comeback is on. Eugene forearms Tomko down and hits a dropkick….but comes up clutching his knee. It’s clearly bad and the match grinds to a halt as Christian and Tomko are afraid to touch Eugene. Regal takes Christian to the floor and Eugene gets a very messy rollup (fair enough) to retain.

Rating: C-. It was mostly a comedy match in the first place and then the knee injury messed up whatever the ending was supposed to be. That’s certainly not on them though as there isn’t much you can do when one of your wrestlers knees goes out like that. Eugene won’t be back in the ring for about six months.

The doctors come in to check on Eugene and Regal is right there with him.

Here’s a shot of Christy walking around the pool for the most obvious reasons in the world.

Christian and Tomko run into Edge, who has an idea for later in the night. Christian isn’t happy with Edge and sends Tomko after him but Edge says he can make Christian World Champion. Now Christian is intrigued and they’ll be talking some more.

We recap Trish Stratus vs. Lita, which has been going on for months now. Lita took the Women’s Title from Trish in a very good match about a month ago and now it’s time for the rematch.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

Lita is defending. Feeling out process to start with Lita tripping her down and Trish bailing to the ropes. Lita knocks her to the floor and tries a Thesz press, wrecking her own knee in the process. Back in and Trish hammers away on the mostly immobile Lita, followed by some kicks to the injured leg. Lita tries some right hands but can’t stand up. She tries the DDT but falls down again, setting up the Chick Kick to make Trish champion again. I’m not going to rate this as Lita couldn’t move for most of the match. She tore her ACL on that Thesz press and wouldn’t wrestle again for over a year.

Maria is by the pool as well for the same reason as Christy.

Edge tries to give Christian his spot in the Elimination Chamber because he can’t get a fair shot tonight. See, Christian can have the spot and whoever wins can face Edge for the title tomorrow night on Raw. Eric Bischoff: “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” It’s not happening so Edge leaves in a huff and runs into Shawn, who says he’ll call it right down the line. Unless he’s provoked of course because then he’d retaliate. He’s looking forward to counting Edge out tonight.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

Maven is challenging and hides in the ropes early on. He does it again for a bonus and the fans insult him in Spanish, sending Maven outside for a breather. The fans tell him that he’s awful so Maven gets back on the apron….and then drops down again. Maven doesn’t want the count started yet because he has something to say. He even gets up on a chair to talk about how he’s not sure how many people here speak English. Therefore, he’ll talk very slow so people can understand him.

Maven yells at a fan that he doesn’t know what he’s saying. See, he can’t concentrate if the fans keep yelling at him like this, meaning he can’t win the Intercontinental Title. Maven goes with some Spanish to tell the fans to shut their mouths. Shelton goes after him but Maven says that’s enough and walks out. He changes his mind at nine and dives back in….where Shelton rolls him up for the pin. The match was about six minutes total and Maven spent four and a half of that on the floor.

Rating: F. I get how this could be a nice way to get the fans going and then give them something to cheer for, but after what else has happened on this show, that couldn’t have come at a worse time. We haven’t had a full match without someone getting severely hurt yet and now they do a promo instead of a match? It could have been a good idea at a house show, but how much did fans pay to watch a promo from MAVEN?

Post match Maven says that didn’t count and wants a rematch. He says Shelton is the second Women’s Champion so let’s do this again.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

Shelton is defending and the exploder retains the title in five seconds.

Candice Michelle rubs suntan lotion on Christy’s back. These things are about fifteen seconds long so at least they’re not wasting too much time with them.

We look at the debate from Raw with Muhammad Hassan and Daivari beating up JR and Lawler.

Hassan and Daivari say that was biased footage that didn’t show Lawler insulting him before the fight. Oh and Puerto Rico isn’t even good enough to be a state. They were detained in the airport last night for three hours and their hotel reservations were “mysteriously” lost. Tonight, he’s going to show that just because you’re treated like a second class citizen doesn’t mean that you are one.

Jerry Lawler vs. Muhammad Hassan

JR is in King’s corner so there’s no commentary for this. Hassan slams him to start but Lawler does it right back to him as the feeling out continues. Three more slams put Lawler down again and it’s time for a breather. Back in and Lawler punches him to the floor, where Hassan gets in an argument with JR. That just means more right hands but Hassan takes over again back inside.

Hassan starts in on the shoulder with JR imploring King to kick out. The camel clutch continues the stereotypical checklist as the fans are dying here. More basic offense, including a kick to the head and a suplex, get two and it’s off to the chinlock. A neckbreaker gets two more and Daivari is losing his mind on these kickouts.

The BORING chants begin (and rightfully so) and Lawler gets fired up, meaning it’s time to take down the strap. The dropkick sets up the middle rope fist drop for two, followed by a DDT for the same. Daivari put the foot on the rope so it’s time for the showdown with JR. That’s enough of a distraction for Hassan to hit a Downward Spiral for the pin.

Rating: F. I’m not sure I can think of a good thing to say about this one. Hassan is supposed to be the big new heel and needs help beating Jerry Lawler in his debut? On top of that, the match wasn’t even remotely good with Hassan using the most standard offense you can imagine. This was horrible and Hassan looks to be in trouble early.

Batista promises to be a wrecking machine in the Chamber when Randy Orton comes in. Orton calls Batista a stooge and says HHH only cares about the two of them as long as they’re helping protect the title. He’s been in there before and helped HHH retain. Look where that got Orton in the end. Batista threatens him but says he’s coming for the title.

Coach takes King’s place on commentary for the time being.

We recap Gene Snitsky vs. Kane. Snitsky caused Lita and Kane to lose their baby and then crushed Kane’s throat. Since then, Snitsky has….well pretty much just existed. Now Kane is back for revenge in a story that wasn’t that great in the first place.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

JR busts out the Bowling Shoe Ugly line before the opening bell, because after everything else, this match warrants a warning. Kane runs him over to start and drops the jumping leg, followed by some standard choking. A powerslam gets two but Snitsky gets in a sidewalk slam and a clothesline of his own.

It’s time to head outside and peel back the ring mats, which can never end well. Snitsky’s powerbomb is countered into a backdrop, though he’s fine enough to kick Kane out of the air back inside. Kane’s back is bent around the post and Snitsky slams him….so Kane sits up. He does it a second and third time as Snitsky doesn’t seem to learn.

The head back outside with Snitsky grabbing a chair but getting kicked in the face. Back in and Kane hammers away in the corner, setting up a sidewalk slam. The top rope clothesline connects this time around but a hot shot cuts Kane off. The chokeslam is broken up and Snitsky bites the ear. Kane sits up again and this time it’s the Tombstone for the pin.

Rating: D. This is rapidly approaching an all time terrible show with another with another bad match. These two have fought as many times as you can now and there isn’t anything left for the feud. Kane wins and Snitsky….well he’s probably done in this role, thereby wasting what was a pretty good build. This show has been completely awful so far and seeing these two have a pretty bad power match didn’t help things.

Ad for the Rise and Fall of ECW. I need to watch that again.

Stacy Keibler is now by the pool and let’s look at pretty much everything from earlier again. Then Simon Dean showed up and showed someone into the pool, where the Divas and Val Venis messed around. A chicken fight broke out and Christy untied Maria’s top to win. Oh Christy is so wacky and fun.

We recap the World Title being decided in the Elimination Chamber. So HHH lost the title in a triple threat but since the bosses can’t make their mind up, we’re getting the Chamber to crown HHH as the champion again. Like it’s going to be anyone else, even with Shawn Michaels as the guest referee.

The Chamber is lowered.

HHH is with Batista in the back and they agree to take care of each other. Unless HHH is out before Batista gets in that is. If that’s the case, Batista is coming for the title.

Eric Bischoff comes out and explains the Chamber.

Lilian Garcia explains the Chamber.

Raw World Title: Edge vs. Chris Jericho vs. Randy Orton vs. HHH vs. Batista, Chris Benoit

Inside the Chamber, the title is vacant coming in, Batista is coming in last due to winning the Beat The Clock Challenge and Shawn Michaels is guest referee. It’s Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho to start things off. Feeling out process to start and they go to the mat with Jericho getting a headlock. Benoit comes back with the skin ripping chops in the corner but Jericho is right back with some of his own. The first German suplex rocks Jericho so he elbows his way out of the second.

That means he has to elbow out of a Crossface attempt instead and the bulldog gets two on Benoit. A top rope superplex puts Jericho down but Benoit can’t follow up as HHH is in third. HHH starts in with the knees, followed by a clothesline to take Jericho down. It’s time to go outside with the steel floor, but first Benoit needs to go into the Chamber wall. That’s good for some blood so HHH punches away at the cut. Another ram into the cage gets two but Jericho breaks up the Pedigree.

A backdrop sends HHH into the steel and you know JR can call that one with some relish. The bulldog gets two on HHH but Benoit is back up go hit a neckbreaker on Jericho. The fans count us down (in Spanish) until it’s Edge in fourth. That means a series of spears in the corner and the Edgecution for two on HHH. Jericho sends Edge over the top but gets catapulted into the wall. It works so well that HHH gets catapulted as well to put both of them down outside.

Edge’s top rope clothesline hits Benoit, who can’t get the Crossface. Jericho’s, who is busted as well, running enziguri drops Edge for two as the announcers mention Shawn, who has done absolutely nothing so far. HHH, also bleeding, comes in for the spinebuster and Pedigree to Jericho as everyone is down. As luck would have it, Orton is in fifth with a high crossbody on HHH. They head out with HHH going into the wall again, followed by an RKO to Jericho. Orton tries one on Benoit but gets pulled into the Crossface, with Benoit on one knee for some reason.

HHH talks trash while the hold is on so Benoit legs go of Orton and grabs the Sharpshooter. That earns him an RKO from Orton but instead of a cover, we get Edge spearing Shawn by mistake. There’s a spear to Orton but there’s no referee. Edge slaps Shawn so it’s Sweet Chin Music, setting up the Lionsault for the first elimination.

With HHH down, Benoit goes all the way up to the top of the pod for the Swan Dive. There’s still no cover though as Jericho slaps on the Walls with Benoit adding the Crossface on HHH at the same time. Somehow THAT isn’t enough to beat HHH as Batista comes in sixth to complete the field and make the save. The fans are very pleased as Batista wrecks people, leaving HHH (who is somehow alive) alone for the staredown.

The other three break that up so Batista clotheslines Orton and Benoit at the same time. That’s not fair to Jericho, who gets gorilla pressed onto a cameraman for the always fun visual. Benoit chop blocks Batista to save Orton from a choke and it’s time to stomp on Batista in the corner. The mostly dead cameraman is helped out of the Chamber and Jericho bulldogs HHH onto the steel. Batista goes in as well and everyone is down again. It’s Batista up first with a spinebuster on Benoit, followed by a spinebuster on Jericho onto Benoit to get rid of the latter and get us down to four.

A powerslam and Batista Bomb get rid of Jericho and it’s down to three. Everyone winds up outside of the ring with Orton being catapulted into the Chamber wall to make everyone bloody. Batista and HHH start double teaming Orton with Batista not looking all that pleased with the boss.

A powerslam gets two on Orton, followed by the hard clothesline for the same. HHH and Batista yell at Shawn, allowing Orton to come back with right hands and kicks to the ribs. A low blow drops Batista and the RKO gets rid of him with HHH letting the pin go down. The RKO hits HHH but Flair comes in, allowing Batista to blast Orton with the clothesline. HHH hits the Pedigree to get the title back.

Rating: B. It’s long, it’s rather good and while annoying, you knew where they were going with the finish. What matters most here though is Batista, who looks like he’s ready to be unleashed at any time. That’s exactly the point of this match and it worked very well in that regard. It felt like an epic fight to get to the win, though HHH winning again is a necessary evil to get through for the time being.

HHH has Batista put him on his shoulders and we get the thumbs up but no turn to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This is one of the weirder shows I can remember in a long time. The main event is very good and came close to saving the show, the rest of the night was a disaster. The Women’s Title match can be completely written off and the Tag Team Title match was watchable enough until the ending.

Then there’s the middle of the show, which saw everything fall apart. The Intercontinental Title match can really only be written off by an injury (I’d certainly hope so), Hassan’s match was horribly done and Kane vs. Snitsky just wasn’t very good. That leaves you with the main event, but still it’s not enough to make up for the hour and forty five minutes of awful before then. A lot of this wasn’t their fault, but the middle three matches were so bad that there isn’t much of a way around them. Rather bad show, though the main event is worth a glance if you haven’t seen it in awhile.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Since everyone has already talked about Goldberg vs. Lesnar (which I’ll get to when I can wrap my head around the thing), here’s something a little lighter this week.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-happy-and-sad-holidays/

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|aziyr|var|u0026u|referrer|itsty||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Year’s Revolution 2005
Date: January 9, 2005
Location: Coliseo de Puerto Rico, San Juan, Puerto Rico
Attendance: 15, 764
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So for no apparent reason, we’re in Puerto Rico for this one. This is more or less all about one match: the Elimination Chamber. The title has been vacated (a Puerto Rican tradition) because there had been a double pin in a match with HHH, Edge and Benoit.

Jericho, Orton and Batista are being thrown in there because we need six people and they’re the other three big guys on Raw at the moment. Shawn is guest referee for no apparent reason. Other than that the big match is Kane vs. Snitsky. See what I mean when I say it’s about one match? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is the epitome of generic. It just says that the Chamber is big and bad and all that. There’s nothing else mentioned about the rest of the card at all which isn’t likely a good sign.

Raw Tag Titles: Eugene/William Regal vs. Christian/Tyson Tomko

Regal and Eugene are past their peak of intrigue but at least it’s about to end. However it’s because Eugene destroys his knee in this and is out for about 6 months because of it. For once the Spanish announce team serves a perfect function. I have no idea what I mean by that either. Christian is completely lacking credibility at this point but he’ll be heading to TNA later in the year.

Eugene is wearing a Hogan shirt for no apparent reason. It’s a comedy match in case you didn’t get it. This is where the Eugene character needed to go away. Good night Christian deserves better than this. And Eugene hits the floor and slaps hands with the fans for no apparent reason. He follows this up to dive under the ring. I already hate this match. We get an airplane spin as I would love to hear Gorilla and Jesse argue over Eugene.

The intellectually challenged one Hulks Up and tags Regal in. Well at least he’s willing to let someone else in for the glory part. Oh man Christian gets a shot in on the nose and Regal is bleeding badly. Too much cocaine I guess. Christian pulls Eugene off the apron and Regal gets there for a tag but there’s no partner. Can I get some Wah Wah Wah music? This is running way too long at this point.

Eugene gets a big old pop for the hot tag. He cleans house but lands totally on his knee, ripping it to pieces and putting him on the shelf for six months. He’s more or less dead weight now and I don’t think the others know it yet. To his credit though he hobbles up and gets a bad rollup on Tomko whose shoulder was up but to be fair he did what he could. He gets taken out on a stretcher.

Rating: B-. It was a formula tag match but the ending changes the whole thing. It’s fairly clear that the champions retained here, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say B-. It wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t great either. Eugene gets bonus points for finishing the match though so there we are.

In the back, Christian and Tomko run into Edge. Edge says he has an idea.

We recap Trish and Lita, which makes me think I have to give them credit for coming up with a story rather than saying we know we’ve got nothing else so here you go. Trish is the heel here and had been all evil when Lita lost her baby. She responded by breaking Trish’s nose.

Trish says she’s ready.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Lita

How many times did these two fight, about a million? Ross calls it a tag title for no apparent reason. I love her theme song actually. Trish’s cleavage is big enough to hide a small country in. They fight for a bit before Trish goes to the floor. Lita goes to the apron and throws a Thesz Press at Trish, and rips HER knee to shreds.

Literally, two matches and two torn knees. She would be out for a few months also as she ripped her ACL. They actually continue the match though for about another three minutes before Lita just has nothing left and the Chick Kick gives Trish another title.

Rating: N/A. Not fair to grade them on this at all. As for a grade, I’d go with DD. That’s of course for Dogma and Dreams, which was my textbook in my political theory class. What did you think it was for?

Edge wants out of the Chamber and offers his spot to Christian, Bischoff says no and Shawn shows up to say he’ll call it fairly. Thanks for your presence here Shawn. Again, why aren’t you in the actual match?

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

No backstory here at all as it’s more or less just a random title match. This was more or less the last ditch effort to make Maven mean a thing. Amazingly enough it didn’t work at all. Shelton is WAY over here as this was right before the hottest period of his career and four months before the match with Shawn that made him the hottest thing on the planet and is still his career highlight.

The heat on Maven is excellent. He cuts a promo in the middle of the match, saying that he doesn’t know how many people here speak English. He’s getting some very decent heat here. I’m almost impressed. He throws in a little Spanish, telling the fans to shut their mouths. This is a fine idea but this has gone on five minutes.

And now he’s leaving. He changes his mind at 9 and turns back to the ring. Literally 5 seconds after he gets in he gets rolled up for a pin. He gets on the mic and says he wants another match because that didn’t count. Shelton comes in, the bell rings, he hits the Exploder Suplex and it’s over in 5 seconds.

Rating: N/A. WHAT WAS THE FREAKING POINT OF THIS??? Literally this was ten minutes that just made no sense at all and there were two “matches”. What in the heck was going on here? I flat out do not get this, but if it was an actual match it would fail and fail hard.

Hassan says that Ross and Lawler are in trouble and that he’s not nervous. He calls Puerto Rico second rate. The crowd has been white hot all night so this gets them really going.

Muhammad Hassan vs. Jerry Lawler

To say Hassan was hated is an understatement. He actually was considered for a run with a world title and I was fine with that. The bell sounds really weird for some reason. And Ross goes with Lawler to the ring so there is zero commentary for this match. Um, ok? Lawler is of course completely over here and this is just a basic storyline to get Hassan over. The lack of commentary is just weird to see in a match.

It’s like watching the match in the arena which is kind of cool actually but it’s leaving me with far less material to go with. Daivari tries to steal Ross’ hat. Lawler gets in some basic stuff here but it’s more or less a total squash here and that’s just fine. This match does get some time and the best thing with that is they have Lawler get in some offense to keep Hassan from just dominating the entire time.

This is where Lawler is incredibly valuable: he’s still loved enough and in good enough shape that you can throw him in a match when you need to in order to put someone over or make someone seem evil. The fans however aren’t as enthralled by this as a boring chant starts.

I mean really, that chant is boring. Can’t they be the slightest bit original? Lawler survives the cobra clutch and we get the showdown with Lawler and Daivari. It winds up with Lawler walking into a downward spiral for the win though.

Rating: C-. The match should have gone a bit shorter but this was fine. It gave Hassan the win he needed and blew off the storyline so that’s all you can ask for I guess. This was fine I guess but it was really nothing special at the end of the day. The commentary thing really was weird and hurt it I think.

Orton and Batista have a really badly acted showdown. Orton wants to know if Batista is going to beat up HHH or kiss up to him. Why do I picture Vince drooling over the second possibility?

Wrestlemania Recall: Mania 12 and the iron man. I guess this was a way to let Ross get back to the announce booth.

Coach joins Ross for commentary until King gets back. I guess Ross is no Joey Styles.

We recap Kane vs. Snitsky. More or less Lita was Kane’s wife and was pregnant and in a match vs. a jobber named Gene Snitsky, Kane was pushed onto Lita and she lost her baby. Snitsky and Kane feuded, and Kane jobbed. And people wonder why no one takes him seriously.

Kane vs. Gene Snitsky

We get the Ross lingo of bowling shoe ugly, translating into we know it’s going to suck but it’s all we’ve got. And yeah it’s crap. The problem here is that no one cares about Gene at all and he and Kane are more or less the exact same style. When it’s Taker there’s at least the chance that he can shift things up a bit. Here that just isn’t going to happen as it’s nothing but big men using power moves and the occasional work with weapons even though there are disqualifications in this match.

There’s at least a reason this is happening but we’re at 8 minutes here and this is showing no signs of actually ending anytime soon. These guys should have no more than like 10 at the very most. And now we’re at 10 or so. Oh joy indeed. It’s the same exact stuff going on all day here too: power moves from both guys, one guy hits two power moves in a row, resthold, start it all over again.

Snitsky bites Kane’s ear in there somewhere for a reference to a boxing match nearly 8 years old. Oh and they’ve also managed to kill the best crowd I can remember in awhile. This is just boring. FINALLY Kane hits a tombstone to no pop to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Seriously, 12 minutes for these two? Are you freaking KIDDING me? Against a small guy, Kane might have maybe been able to make this passable. This was just freaking stupid though and it was painful to watch.

We get the ad for the 2005 Rumble: West Side Story version. For the life of me, someone made money for coming up with this. That blows my mind to this day. “We’ll step into the ring and reach an understanding. When the smoke has cleared I’ll be the last man standing.” I wonder why no one was watching back then.

Lawler is back.

We go poolside for some reason to see the Divas and Simon Dean from earlier in the day. Maria and Christy….wow. For no apparent reason Val Venis, Rosey, Hurricane and a guy I couldn’t see get a Diva on all of their shoulders and we have a big chicken fight. Christy wins by pulling Maria’s top off and shoving her in the water. They looked great, but what the heck was the point of this?

We go from that to a statue of the Virgin Mary. The irony here kills me as 3 of the 4 girls in there were in Playboy at one time or another. Oh never mind it’s Christopher Columbus. I’m a Protestant so there you are.

We recap the chamber which more or less is Benoit and HHH both pinned Edge so the title was held up. The other three were just thrown in so we could have a major gimmick match.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. HHH vs. Edge vs. Batista vs. Chris Benoit vs. Randy Orton

The order of the people coming in was preset through a Beat the Clock challenge. Not wild on that but I can certainly life with it as it’s not a terribly huge deal. HHH and Batista have been arguing as HHH thinks it’s about him and Batista is more or less the hottest thing on the freaking planet at this point with no one being able to even come close to touching him.

There was no way he was winning here though as that was clearly being saved for Mania. Ross is WAY too excited for this. Evolution argues a bit in the back before the match as we’re just killing time now. Bischoff does a big long intro as they might as well have him saying I’m stalling here. A LONG explanation of the rules from Lillian follows as at least she’s something to look at.

Shawn is the referee here and gets a great pop. Edge, HHH, Orton and Batista who is coming in last are all in pods. We’re at about 15 minutes since the last match ended and we’re not only halfway through the intros yet. Ok so 23 minutes after the Kane match ends, Benoit and Jericho get going. Good to see that they’re going fast here. Any combination of these two and Angle means entertainment so I can’t complain at all here.

With Shawn in there also, you’re looking at over 15 IC Title reigns if my math is right. Yep this is still awesome. Like I said, these two are really hard to mess up. I did say that didn’t I? Oh ok. Well this pairing is hard to mess up. So now, like I said, these two are really hard to mess up. Benoit gets the top rope suplex and lands on his head. That simply can’t be good. The chamber really is an awesome sight.

Oh I think the chamber order is random other than Batista. HHH is in third. Good night that’s a lot of IC Title reigns. He more or less destroys both Canadians as they can’t look good in the same match as HHH right? Well to be fair they’re both worn down so that’s fine. Benoit has a DEEP cut on his forehead. Jericho blocks a Pedigree to put HHH on the cage outside the ring. The Chamber really is an amazing spectacle.

Everyone is down and it’s Edge. Yeah it is random other than the final spot. I like that actually. He spears or hits Edgecutions on everyone. He needs to go back to that when he returns. Edge breaks out a belly to belly. That’s a new one on me from him. Jericho is having the tar beaten out of him by everyone but somehow HHH is standing tall. Who would have seen that? He gets another Pedigree countered and he hits the steal again.

Jericho gets busted open but it’s a girly man cut. Edge avoids the crossface. HHH is bleeding on the nose. He’s also managing to control more of this match than everyone else is somehow. Now who would have predicted something like THAT? Jericho takes a Pedigree just in time for Orton to come in with everyone down. Orton had been hot as all goodness about 4 months ago so he was promptly given a one month reign to get the belt off Benoit to put it back on HHH.

Orton never beat him again in that run and he hasn’t been that hot since. But hey, HHH got another title reign out of it right? The fans are chanting RKO. See what I mean? More or less everyone in this whole match is over as free beer in a frat house other than HHH but whatever. Jericho gets an RKO as he’s just not having a good night.

Benoit gets a diseased crossface on Orton. He’s up on one knee and it’s really just a chinlock with the arm down. Benoit puts HHH in the Sharpshooter but Orton hits an RKO on him. Why he wouldn’t wait until HHH tapped is beyond me but whatever. Edge accidentally spears Shawn and then Orton but there’s no referee. He yells at Shawn and suddenly is out cold and Jericho hits a Lionsault after the chin music to put Edge out.

Jericho gets out of his second Pedigree. That’s three times he’s been set up for it. Dang does HHH just like having Canadians between his legs? Benoit hits a MASSIVE swandive headbutt from the top of the pod before being put in both the Walls of Jericho AND THE CROSSFACE. He hangs on FOR THIRTY SECONDS before Batista comes in for the save. Yeah, that’s not completely insane or ridiculous or anything like that.

He’s just been in a 15 minute mega cage match and then taken a former world champion’s finisher after being in the Sharpshooter for a decent while earlier and now has two MORE world champion finishing moves on him, but he can hang on for 30 seconds. Do you see why he’s so freaking hated? It’s ALL Batista here and the crowd is way into him. Oh and HHH is back up 30 seconds later. That is just freaking stupid on so many levels.

Batista throws Jericho into a cameraman to give us a cool camera shot. In a cool looking spot, Batista spinebusters Benoit and then spinebusters (spinebusts?) Jericho on top of him. That’s followed by an AWESOME Batista Bomb to eliminate Jericho and it’s an all Evolution final. Why my stars and garter belts, who would have seen this coming? So more or less it’s now Orton vs. the world. The crowd is relatively quiet but they’re popping at various times to make sure they’re still alive.

Orton stays alive and manages to get a low blow and an RKO to end Batista. HHH sits back and lets him get pinned which would become an issue on Raw later on. Orton gets the RKO but Batista stayed in and Flair gets in somehow so Batista can more or less end Orton with a clothesline that was a secondary finisher back in the day. Why did we need Flair to stop him? I mean it’s not like Shawn can do anything about Batista. Also why are referees so freaking dumb?

He saw the RKO and then Batista is behind him and all of a sudden Orton is down and HHH is in the same spot. How dumb are you man? The Pedigree ends this. A massive HHH worshipping festival takes us out.

Rating: B. Once Jericho was out, there might as well have just been a big celebration for HHH then as it was obvious he was going to win the whole thing. The drama was lacking badly for a long time here and in the end it was little more than a cheap way to get HHH his tenth title reign.

Edge, Benoit and Jericho had little purpose in this at all as it was always going to come down to those three. This was good though as the violence was all there and the gimmick is always cool. Not terrible but not epic like some others. The time here, 35 minutes, is about perfect though for one of these things.

Overall Rating: D+. This was just not a very good show at all. There is just nothing at all to talk about on it as it felt like something between a Raw and a PPV. The wrestling is ok at best and other than HHH getting his title back that he had already, nothing really happened here.

Hassan winning shocks no one, Trish gets another meaningless title reign and Eugene is hurt so the tag titles are changed soon after this. I mean, I don’t get it. What’s the appeal of this? The main event is good but by no means required viewing.

Other than that, take a rather large pass on this one. It’s not terrible, but it’s just not good. As much as people are going to get on me, it reminded me of Genesis a lot: decent wrestling throughout, but nothing at all that makes you really have to see the show.

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New Year’s Revolution 2007
Date: January 7, 2007
Location: Kemper Arena, Kansas City, Missouri
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Now before we get to the buildup, this date is more important around here for another reason. On this date, within 24 hours of each other, myself, Lee and Ricky all signed up here. That is never going to be topped, period.

As for the show, it’s a far more traditional PPV this time with a better looking card. The main event here is Umaga vs. Cena for the belt with Umaga being the undefeated killing machine. Also on tonight’s card we have Rated RKO vs. DX for the tag titles where the ending is a bit important. The rest of this is decent looking but not great.

This is the last of the series so I figured I’d just knock the whole thing out in two days to save some time. All that being said, let’s finish off the New Year’s Revolution series.

No intro video here which is kind of odd really. Instantly we’re lowering a steel cage to set up this.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

And after that we go to the intro video. That’s the ECW style which is different and I still don’t like it. To be fair though, here all we saw was a cage lowering instead of a whole intro, but I still don’t like it that much. It talks about DX and Rated RKO and the title match. Melina’s skirt MIGHT be 5 inches long. Jeff is champion here in case you were wondering. These two had a kind of long feud over the belt.

This is just after December to Dismember, which freaking sucked and it sucked hard. The crowd is way into this mind you. I like having a cage match like this where it’s going to be fast paced to open the show. I’m not sure on the cage actually, but one thing it does accomplish is prevent the show from grinding to a halt to set it up. Nitro hits that sweet springboard rotating kick that he does at times.

I can’t decide whether I like Melina screaming or not. They’re starting off a bit slow here but that’s fine as they could be setting up for a hot finish. In a spot I liked a lot, Hardy goes for the Whisper in the Wind but instead he jumps up to try to get out of the cage. Again, that’s thinking while wrestling. You can win by pin here too. The fans are way into it so that’s always a good sign.

Nitro climbs up but Hardy makes the save, getting Nitro’s legs stuck in the top of the cage, more or less putting him in a massive Tree of Woe. Melina smacks Jeff’s hands with her belt and Nitro gets a nice missile dropkick. We get the double escape attempt as Nitro goes over the top and Jeff goes through the door. Nitro puts his feet on the door while hanging on the top of the cage to block it. Jeff dropkicks the door so Nitro crotches himself on it and walks out. Creative ending there.

Rating: B. Very fun match here as both guys were moving and the crowd was into it. That always makes things better in the end as the match came off fast and crisp. These two worked well together and made the title look important, at least for awhile. Fear not though, as Santino would show up to kill it in the near future.

Rated RKO says they’ll take out DX and the nostalgic run is over. That’s most amusing.

Tag Team Turmoil

The idea here is a gauntlet match where you have two teams start and they have a match, then the winners face the next team. This was a bonus match that was thrown on so this is really just to fill in time. The winners get a future tag title shot. There are five teams in this and the first two are the Highlanders and the World’s Greatest Tag Team.

Roddy Piper has cancer here, which is a point as the Highlanders are also from Scotland. The WGTT are Benjamin and Hass for those of you that aren’t familiar with them. They really were good. Rory shows off his wrestling abilities and outmoves Shelton. That’s pretty impressive actually. Their names are Rory and Robbie in case you didn’t know that either.

After a bit of a brawl we have Shelton hooking a superplex from the top rope to put the Highlanders out. Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Jim Duggan are a team here. Why’s that? I have no idea at all but it was a flat out terrible time for the tag belts back in the day so there you are. This one is far shorter as Duggan does most of the work and gets beaten down before getting a hot tag after about a minute or two.

Crazy comes in and cleans house but the Mexican gets a German suplex from the American for the pin. And people say WWE isn’t international. Cade and Murdoch are in next. They would soon become the flavor of the month in the tag division, meaning no one cared about them but they were pushed anyway as there was no one else around at all to do it otherwise.

They slow it down a lot here and take it to the mat with the rednecks dominating. That makes sense at least as we have the WGTT in trouble here. They were ok I guess but I never really could get into them. Vince had a deep infatuation with rednecks and hillbillies over the years though. Not quite to musclemen levels but close enough. Haas gets Murdoch in the Haas of Pain which was always awesome but Cade jumps him off the top to break it up and get the pin.

Crime Time, the hot team at the moment comes out to a great pop. JTG just bleeds charisma. He’s talented too so I’d pick him as the more talented of the two. Lawler actually has some information as these are the final two teams in this shindig. The heels are dominating early on here if you can call this early on. More or less at this point it’s just a regular tag team which is ok I guess. Shad gets the hot tag and cleans ring.

This was back when the team was interesting and funny rather than being the only face team on the roster and therefore over by requirement. They hit their assisted neckbreaker on Cade to win it. They never used the title shot as they were released a bit before it.

Rating: C. It ran for a bit too long but seeing four actual teams out there is a nice sign. This was ok but nothing great though. The pacing was fine though and it wasn’t bad at all for a gimmick match. This was meant to fill in time and it did its job rather well indeed.

Vince and Coach are talking about the Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump feud. This led to the midget match between the two that Meltzer said was the worst match of the year. And the main event from the previous Raw had been Kevin Federline vs. John Cena. Let that sink in a bit.

Kenny Dykstra vs. Ric Flair

Dykstra is the only person left from the Spirit Squad and now he’s just arrogant. He stole Flair’s robe after beating him twice by cheating and Rated RKO giving him a conchairto. Flair is wearing a very pink robe. That’s the only way to describe it: very pink. We’re starting off with about as basic of a match as you could possibly ask for. Dykstra puts on the worst Boston Crab I’ve seen this side of WCW.

Flair’s back is worked over as this just isn’t that good. And now Flair has the figure four for no apparent reason but the crowd pops like crazy for it. Maybe there’s something to this Flair guy. I keep wanting to make South Park jokes because of the commentary. Kenny gets a low blow out of nowhere and rolls up Flair for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just boring. I mean I kept waiting on ANYTHING to happen and it never came. However, great props here as they had Flair do the best thing he could do: he put Kenny over for the third time in a row, so I don’t question the booking at all.

Nitro has a big bag of ice on his balls. Apparently we’ll be getting MNM vs. the Hardys soon. Melina runs into Victoria and she says that they should be a team. This went nowhere.

Women’s Title: Victoria vs. Mickie James

So for a month and a half, Victoria has had a hit list of the Divas to get to James and this is the end of that. Mickie is still rocking the insane skirts at this point. Ross and Lawler talk about Jack Doane’s hometown for zero explainable reason. Lillian is cheering for Mickie as Lillian almost got a Widow’s Peak on Raw.

Mickie starts throwing punches which is weird to see. And Lawler gets to use the line of he loves to see her wrestle but he’d love to see her box. Ross misses it though so we get no rebuttal. Melina comes out to help Victoria and it doesn’t work as Mickie hits her spinning DDT for the pin.

Rating: F+. Only reason are all the great shots. The booking here makes zero sense as they built Victoria up as the monster for a month and a half and now it’s just thrown away. Oh well, they looked hot so that’s all that matters in this division.

Hulk Hogan DVD ad. Again, this is far funnier now.

We recap DX vs. Rated RKO which started as the heels were tired of DX monopolizing the main event. Holy shoot that isn’t supposed to be a shoot. Rated RKO also beat the heck out of Flair. That became the focus of the feud because it’s required by WWE law that Flair is referenced at least once a month, as WWF/E MADE Flair, not that other NWA or WCW thing.

Raw Tag Titles: Rated RKO vs. DX

The combination of Burn In My Light and Metalingus (Edge’s theme for those interested) is SWEET. This starts as a massive brawl on the floor if nothing else. And we get a bell. At least it wasn’t that long. Fans are WAY behind DX here. Shawn and Edge are in there now and let the loud spot calling begin. We get the reference of course to DX never holding the tag titles which wasn’t as big of a deal as it was supposed to be.

This is more of a physically based match as they’re just out there beating on each other with Edge working on HHH’s leg. Shawn gets the hot tag to take control. The crowd is way into this match too as they have been all night long. Shawn launches himself over the ropes to take out Edge and Orton which looked pretty good. There’s that cursed DX chant again. Shawn is down because of an Edge spear on the floor so he’s your degenerate in peril.

Oh and he took a belt shot too. I wonder if that’s like a Jell-O shot. Oh I had to go there so give me a break. Shawn is busted up pretty bad over the forehead. More or less he’s just getting his ass handed to him for a long time while getting in various little shots here and there to make people know he’s still alive. He blocks the RKO and begins the crawl. I wonder if Miley Cyrus considered that for the Climb.

Yeah I’m way too bored here which is odd as this has been pretty good so far. HHH gets the hot tag and goes off. CLOTHESLINE FOR EDGE! HIGH KNEE FOR ORTON! FACEBUSTER FOR EDGE! SPINEBUSTER FOR ORTON! TORN QUAD FOR HHH! Yep, HHH messes up a spinebuster and blows out his other quad, putting him on the shelf until Summerslam. Ross tries to say it’s the same leg that Edge worked on earlier, which is nonsense but nice try anyway.

He tries to keep going to his credit but his leg is just freaking gone. They need to go to the end now as HHH is trying but this simply isn’t working. Orton tries to end it with a chair shot but for some reason he pulls back to hit HHH but stops and then runs away with the chair. HHH tries a Pedigree but it can’t work and he can’t even cover. Edge gets up at two and you can tell Edge and Orton have no idea what to do. Enter Shawn to save the day.

He kicks the tar out of Orton then throws a plancha. He punches the referee and lays them both out with chairs. Notice what he’s doing here: he’s taking the focus off of HHH to keep the fans from losing the focus of the match. DX then puts both of them through tables at ringside and Rated RKO looks dead. Shawn and Cena would win the titles in about three weeks.

Rating: B-. The ending isn’t fair to grade but dang man, points to Shawn for taking charge out there at the end. HHH kept going too to his credit as no one would think a thing of him if he just laid there holding his leg. Not a bad match, but other than the beatdown it’s nothing that you’ll remember later on.

Cena does an over the top interview about the main event but he’s intentionally being over the top, which is kind of funny but not great. You can vaguely hear the Spanish announcers talking during this.

Carlito vs. Chris Masters

This is about Torrie or something. I really don’t care though. The announcers try to cover up the fact that no one cares at all about this by saying the fans are just in shock. That’s rather amusing indeed. More or less this is about Masters trying to get the Masterlock while Carlito does everything else. Masters uses something like a rollup out of the Masterlock and the tights for the win.

Rating: F-. This was just freaking pointless and Torrie had that stupid dog with her that I always wanted to break. Total filler and the chance to bridge the double main event.

More or less, Umaga is unstoppable, Cena is going to try to stop him. That’s it.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Umaga

The big match introductions never get old to me. This is during Cena’s year long reign that made him so freaking hated. Umaga is just destroying him early on so cue up the Superman music for later. Cena has had maybe two moves in ten minutes. This is domination. Take out the Superman music and give us the Zeke Jackson music.

Cena hits the Throwback but he apparently hasn’t read up on his stereotypes as a shot to the head won’t hurt him at all. Ross references Yokozuna with Umaga, which is a bit much for my taste. The FU doesn’t work either. More or less the fatness of Umaga is too much. And it’s nerve hold time. That gave me a funny image of Samoans in a medical school learning how to do those holds. That’s rather amusing.

After the hold though he RAPS UP and starts his ending sequence, only to not be able to get the FU. Umaga goes for the running ass shot but Cena gets his feet into the chest and rolls Umaga up for the pin. I’ll give them that one: that was a lot more realistic than just getting the FU for the pin, and they kept Umaga looking strong.

Rating: B. Not bad at all here as this was in essence a throwaway show and a token title defense for Cena, although in the end it wound up paying off. That’s always a good sign as this wasn’t a terrible match at all and was actually pretty entertaining. They kept both guys looking strong which set them up for last man standing the following month.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s a lot of good and there’s a lot of bad here. Again that’s something you saw a good deal of with the brand only shows, as so often they could build to a good main event or events but the midcard was just BAD. This was a decent enough show though as the good matches all delivered. It was by no means great but it would be worth checking out if you have some time to kill and there’s nothing really good on. Check it out I guess, but nothing to go out of your way to see.

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