Monday Night Raw – March 2, 2015: Screw This Show And Screw Wrestlemania

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 2, 2015
Location: Prudential Center, Newark, New Jersey
Commentators: Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re one step closer to Wrestlemania this week and the big event coming out of last week is Randy Orton not attacking Seth Rollins as everyone expected him to at the end of the show. That would seem to be a layup for a match at Wrestlemania but you never can tell around this company. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here are Rollins and the Stooges to get things going. Before he can say anything though, we get a clip of him appearing on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart last Thursday. Stewart is on his way here so Rollins suggests that he beg for forgiveness now and turn around. This isn’t like Lawler vs. Kauffman because unlike the Daily Show, every single person in this arena paid to see him tonight.

Cue Roman Reigns, who tells Rollins to keep talking because he wanted to hear what it sounded like to hear the fans tell Seth that he sucks. Rollins says he’s worth more than Michael Jordan because he can out work and out talk anyone, including Wiz Khalifa. He can even out eat Mark Henry. Khalifa is scheduled to perform next week and Henry is rumored to be here tonight so that sounds like an internet newsletter come to life.

Rollins doesn’t think Reigns can beat Brock Lesnar, but he can beat both Lesnar and Reigns. Roman asks if Rollins is man enough to make the main event of Wrestlemania a triple threat match as the fans chant for Punk. Rollins thinks it’s smarter to cash in on the winner of the match, or maybe do it the next night. Or maybe just cash in when no one is expecting it. Or maybe Reigns should just punch him in the mouth right now, which is what he does. The Stooges are laid out and Reigns stands on the Money in the Bank briefcase, but somehow that still doesn’t make me care about him.

Post break, Rollins yells at the Stooges for letting him get hit in the mouth. Randy Orton pops up and says the same thing. He thinks Rollins should demand a match with Reigns tonight to prove he can out talk Jon Stewart and out wrestle Roman Reigns as well. Rollins says he can out wrestle anyone on the roster, which doesn’t sit well with Orton. Dang they were getting close to not having a main event set up. I’m glad these coincidences just happened to take place at complete random.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bad News Barrett

Non-title with R-Truth on commentary. Ambrose stomps away in the corner to start as Cole brings up the multi-man ladder match for the Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. Truth is officially announced for the match as Ambrose stomps away at the ribs and puts on a cross leg face rip. A bulldog sets up the standing elbow drop but Barrett crotches him to take over. The champ boots him out to the floor and holds up his title as we take a break.

Back with Ambrose fighting out of a chinlock but Barrett goes outside to yell at Truth for being a thief. Ambrose hits a suicide dive to take Barrett down though and hits the running standing elbow off the apron. This allows Truth to comically sneak over and steal the title belt because this is now a children’s comedy. Winds of Change plants Ambrose as Luke Harper comes up and takes the belt from Truth. The distraction lets Ambrose hit Dirty Deeds for the pin on Barrett at 9:23.

Rating: D. I have nothing left. Just nothing.

We recap Miz stealing Mizdow’s spot in a commercial last week on Smackdown.

Most of the midcard is in the back when Miz asks for silence. He calls Mizdow borderline worthless before giving us the world premiere of the new commercial. Mizdow tries to tell Miz something but Miz cuts him off and mentions a bunch of actors. As expected, it’s for an erectile dysfunction pill and has Mizdow involved with the good looking women. Back live and Mizdow can’t control his laughter. Neither can the rest of the people in the room.

Miz yells at everyone and says his little general has plenty of bullets. This is all Mizdow’s fault of course and Miz slaps him, again setting Mizdow off to a big reaction but once again he backs down. Mizdow almost has to eliminate him from the battle royal, but does it really matter is Mizdow doesn’t win the thing?

Here’s Bray Wyatt to ask if Undertaker is still the heart of fear. He wants Undertaker to come out and see him because Bray has built his own casket. Everything comes at a price though and Bray pulls out a gasoline can. He’s always had a fascination with fire because it has no prejudice and no feelings, just like him. No one can hide from him because everything burns, including Undertaker at Wrestlemania. He pours the gas on the casket and lights it on fire before shouting to find him. Like most Bray stuff, it makes just enough sense to get the idea across without being able to understand it.

Natalya/Tyson Kidd/Cesaro vs. Usos/Naomi

Genders have to match here. Jey and Kidd get things going but the champs take over with a quick double team. A Samoan drop puts Cesaro down but he bails to the floor, setting up a tag to the women. Naomi pops Natalya in the face and starts a quick pinfall reversal sequence, only to have Naomi kick Natalya in the ribs.

Naomi doesn’t buy a leg injury from Natalya and sunset flips her for two, only to have it quickly go back to Jimmy and Kidd. A Whisper in the Wind drops Kidd but he dives away from a double superkick and tags Natalya. The distraction lets Natalya get a rollup pin at 2:54. Didn’t we see this EXACT same story last month but with the titles switched? Now I’m supposed to want to see it at Wrestlemania?

Kidd and Natalya almost get in a fight but they hug it out.

Here’s John Cena with something to say after Rusev turned down his request for a rematch last week. He says this is one of those rare occasions where his detractors are having a good time because not only did Rusev beat him in their first match but his rematch was turned down. Cena is going to get his rematch and is going to bring the title back home to America. Rusev is a marked man and he’s going to lose that title at Wrestlemania. If he won’t defend it though, maybe he could just enter the Andre battle royal.

Oh screw it Stephanie comes out with that smug look on her face. She asks when do people just announce what match they’re in. Cena: “That’s what everyone does in the battle royal.” Stephanie doesn’t get the term Murderer’s Row (famous baseball lineup, means a great talent pool) and brings up a picture of her sitting on Andre’s knee after the first Wrestlemania.

She says Cena can’t disparage Andre’s legacy (what is she even talking about?) but Cena cuts her off and says this is about Wrestlemania. He says she won’t leave him off Wrestlemania so she goes into full on evil Stephanie mode and says WWE is bigger than any star it’s ever had. The question is what will Cena do without WWE, not the other way around.

Cue Curtis Axel of all people who says he’s already deserving a spot in the main event so he should win the battle royal too. A LOUD Axelmania chant starts up and Stephanie thinks he may be the next John Cena. Stephanie makes a match right now, but stops to say Cena can only get his match with Rusev by changing his mind. Axel: “WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN AXELMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU???” He rips the shirt off and Cena looks stunned. Cena gives him one chance to leave before pain comes to him.

John Cena vs. Curtis Axel

The bell rings after the break and Axel does Hogan poses. Cena stares a hole in the back of Axel’s head, hits some clotheslines, the AA and the STF for the submission at 2:02.

Post match Rusev comes out and again says no. Cole calls this humiliating because he doesn’t know the meaning of basic English words. Cole: “We could be coming up on the first Wrestlemania with no John Cena.” Me: “Oh screw off.”

Arn Anderson and Michael Hayes talk about Sting’s career and how great he really was. This lasts all of ten seconds.

Here’s HHH to talk about coming to this company twenty years ago. Now he’s the COO and a thirteen time World Champion. Eight days ago he offered Sting a chance to be immortal, but now he has the chance to make it as if Sting never existed. But why didn’t Sting come here before? HHH invites Booker T. into the ring because Booker recently said HHH politiced Sting from ever coming to the company. Why does he think that? That makes Booker sound like one of those internet fans that think they know the ins and outs of the business when they don’t know a thing.

Booker says no one has ever been able to control Sting and now HHH gets to deal with him at Wrestlemania. HHH thanks him for the opinion and then fires him. Booker goes to leave but HHH says he’s changed his mind. That was just an example of the control he has because he’s been handed the chance to end the last vestige of WCW and that’s what he’ll do. I can’t believe they’re STILL talking about WCW. That company has been out of business longer than it was in business and WWE is still bragging about defeating them.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Nikki Bella

Nikki is defending again in a rematch from Fast Lane. We even get Big Match Intros. Paige knocks her around to start but Nikki bails to the floor to avoid the PTO. A minute in and we hit the break. Back with Nikki cranking on the arms and Cole saying the action before the break was, and I quote (see what I did there?), fast and furious. Paige fights up but walks into a weak spinebuster for two.

We get the third mention of Total Divas in about the third minute of, ahem, action. A double clothesline puts both girls down and of course that one clothesline gets us to even after Paige has been in trouble for a few minutes. Paige hits three more clotheslines and a running dropkick for two. The PTO is loaded up again but Paige has to nail Brie. Nikki misses her forearm and eats a superkick, setting up the PTO. Cue Brie for the DQ at 6:46.

Rating: D. GIVE THEM A CHANCE! YOU MIGHT GET A FIVE MINUTE MATCH NEXT TIME! Yeah this was another obvious ending to set up the obvious return to set up the obvious “dream” tag match at Wrestlemania so the Bellas can show how good they really are and AJ can take a loss and be humiliated for calling out Stephanie on her nonsense. But hey, why bother entertaining when you can get one up on AJ in front of the dozens of people who are going to pay for this disaster of a Wrestlemania?

AJ runs in for the save and attacks the Bellas as we have new Super Best Friends.

Post break, AJ and Paige kind of agree to be friends to fight the Bellas.

It’s time for the Daily Show with Seth Rollins, complete with a copy of the Daily Show’s intro. Rollins takes some shots at Stewart’s Oscar hosting last year (it was seven years ago) and at his movie Rosewater for not doing so well as the Stooges applaud in the background. Cue the real Stewart to rips on the Curb Stomp being a New Jersey greeting instead of something to fear. He remembers the wrestlers that earned their spots like Sammartino and Monsoon.

Rollins never went up against the establishment like Austin or fought through injuries like Undertaker. Seth wants to be the poster boy, but just like posters, they get taken down when people are tired of them. If the Authority really cared about him, why isn’t he in the main event at Wrestlemania? He’s better on the mic and claims to be better in the ring, but it’s Lesnar vs. Reigns.

Stewart says the briefcase doesn’t belong to Rollins because he was at Money in the Bank and saw what really happened. That’s enough for Rollins as he grabs Stewart by the collar, drawing out Orton for the save, but Stewart kicks Rollins low and escapes on his own. This was one of the best celebrity performances ever in WWE and most of that is due to Stewart clearly being a huge fan. You can’t fake that kind of passion. Well you could, but if you’ve ever seen the Faculty, you know Stewart isn’t that good of an actor.

Post break Stewart leaves quickly to avoid retaliation.

Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper

Cole says Bryan isn’t going to Wrestlemania either. Harper starts fast but gets sent face first into the middle buckle. A running dropkick has him in trouble but Luke slams Bryan to the floor as we take an early break. Back with Harper kicking him in the face and hitting a half nelson suplex for two. A rollup gets the same for Bryan before Harper throws him down again. That’s fine with Bryan as he counters into the YES Lock for the win at 6:23.

Rating: D+. The Divas got more time than this match, which may or may not be about Bryan going into the title match at Wrestlemania. Just like the rest of this show, it’s like they have no real idea where the matches are going and we’re less than a month away from the show. Announce the things and let us know what we’re getting.

Barrett comes out to take the belt back, but it’s stolen by Ambrose, Harper, Truth then Harper again with the big man leaving with the belt. Ziggler cuts him off with a superkick though and puts the title on his shoulder. Dolph climbs the ladder with the belt and Bryan does a YES chant on the table.

Alundra Blayze Hall of Fame video. Two notes here. One, this is shocking if you know your history. Two, in the list of great champions over the years, we saw Moolah, Martel, Trish, the Bellas and Lita. Who on earth actually thinks that’s true? I mean, someone say that to me so I can laugh very hard in their face. They actually mention the belt in the trash moment in the video.

Orton yells at Rollins for going after Stewart but promises to have his back if Rollins needs him. Big Show and Kane come up and say they have his back, so Noble says Orton won’t be needed. Randy walks away, saying suit yourself.

Here’s Heyman who says he’s going to shoot from the hip. Yes Brock will be at Wrestlemania. Believe that. He’ll be anywhere he pleases before the title match. He’ll be anywhere he pleases after the title match. He’ll be anywhere he wants as the WWE Champion. Fans like to believe their fantasies, starting with Daniel Bryan having a chance at beating his client.

Reality is that Lesnar would squash him under his boot, so now it’s time for Roman Reigns. Heyman has to switch microphones before he rants about the fans buying into this idea of Reigns. WWE has already bought the confetti and the pyro but it’s a big waste of time.

Last week he said Sammartino, Hogan, Austin, Rock HHH and Cena couldn’t beat Lesnar. Fan: “ANDRE!” Heyman to the fan: “I DIDN’T MENTION HIM BECAUSE HE’S DEAD STUPID!” Of course there’s no Stephanie to defend Andre now because that segment earlier made no sense. Heyman says none of those people disputed a single thing he said last week because it’s all true. At Wrestlemania, Lesnar is going to conquer Reigns and maybe he’ll just Ronda Rousey Roman. BELIEVE THAT.

Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins

Reigns knocks him around with ease to start and sends Rollins hard into the corner. Seth’s comeback is easily stopped with a knee to the ribs but he catches Reigns with a dropkick. We hit the right hands to the face and Reigns is sent hard into the buckle, but here’s Orton for a distraction as we go to our last break.

Back with Rollins holding a chinlock for a bit until Roman makes his comeback with some clotheslines and a tilt-a-whirl slam for two. Mercury breaks up the Superman Punch, allowing Rollins to score with an enziguri for two. Roman fights up again but Noble’s distraction lets Rollins kick him in the face.

A powerbomb from Reigns puts both guys down. They head outside with Big Show getting in a cheap shot but Reigns dives off the apron to take him down. Kane nails him in the ribs with a chair, giving Rollins a near fall back inside. We get yet another comeback from Reigns as he nails a Superman Punch, only to have Orton grab the foot, allowing Rollins to roll up Reigns for the pin at 15:38.

Rating: D+. The #1 contender for the World Title and the man that is supposed to save us from the horrors of Brock Lesnar just got pinned less than a month before the biggest show of the year. I don’t care what he does after the match. That ending is stupid and there was no reason to not just have the big DQ or something like that. My goodness do they want me to watch Wrestlemania or not?

Reigns snaps post match and destroys everyone not named Orton. He hits a huge dive over the top and spears Rollins out of the air as JBL shouts about him being ready. No man. Screw that noise. I’m not buying Reigns as anything when he’s losing less than a month before the big night, screwy finish or not. You don’t do that no matter what, especially when Lesnar isn’t here to set up the stupid match.

Overall Rating: F+. Where do I even start? First of all, how do you only have six matches on a three hour plus show with two of them not even breaking three minutes? That’s just unacceptable. Second, they really do seem to be making this stuff up as they go. We’re supposed to believe Cena and Bryan aren’t going to be at the pay per view? That’s your big selling point? “Hey people, come see this show without the biggest stars appearing!” Well they might not. I mean, they DARED to challenge Stephanie.

That’s the next major point: the Authority was all over the place tonight and not a single bit of it made sense. All of a sudden Stephanie is the patron saint of French giants and HHH is spouting off at the mouth about having to control Sting, whatever the heck that is supposed to mean. I can’t get over how bad that Stephanie segment was. How is that supposed to make me want to see Wrestlemania? Cena potentially in the battle royal because he can’t convince Rusev to defend the belt, which he’ll eventually do by going after the Russian flag, which won’t bring up a single mention of Big Show doing the same thing months ago?

The main event continues to be a one sided affair because Lesnar isn’t on TV. Heyman can only say YOU CAN’T BEAT HIM in so many different ways before it stops being entertaining. It’s one of those cases where you can only perform so well with what you’re given and that point has long since passed. Brock and Reigns need to do something face to face again, because the last time was the night after the Royal Rumble.

The Divas’ push comes off as a huge joke as the big chance seems to be a tag match at Wrestlemania and a pairing that we’ve seen before. I don’t really know why this is supposed to be a big match, other than AJ is the one not on Total Divas, which is the real title in this division these days. Give them a chance I guess, but if this is the chance, give them a bus ticket out of the company, because it’s not getting better anytime soon.

I have almost no desire to see Wrestlemania this year and I haven’t had that feeling in a very, very long time. There’s almost nothing on the card that I want to see and somehow it seems to get worse every week. It’s like they have no focus for the card this year other than “Reigns wins and we go from there.” To what? Reigns vs. Big Show? That’s a real possibility and I don’t think I can handle it. Then again, I don’t think I can handle three more episodes like this either.

Results

Dean Ambrose b. Bad News Barrett – Dirty Deeds

Usos/Naomi b. Natalya/Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Rollup to Natalya

John Cena b. Curtis Axel – STF

Paige b. Nikki Bella via DQ when Brie Bella interfered

Daniel Bryan b. Luke Harper – YES Lock

Seth Rollins b. Roman Reigns – Rollup

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Fast Lane 2015 Preview

It says a lot that I had completely forgotten this show was tomorrow night. Fast Lane is a show that really doesn’t need to exist and most of these matches could have easily been done as big time Raw main events over the course of a few weeks. Instead though they need a way to bulk up the Network subscriptions, and to be fair the free month for Survivor Series was an amazing success. This show really isn’t doing much for me though so let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the match recently added: a six man tag between Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins vs. Ryback/Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan. This match makes sense because the Survivor Series WILL NEVER DIE. It was also odd that you had these six guys all sitting around doing nothing so why not just get a big tag match to put them all on the show? It’s definitely the most logical move they could go with and avoids repeats of singles matches we’ve already seen for a change.

As for the winners, of course it’s the Authority, because we have to keep Big Show and Kane looking strong see. Oh and that Rollins guy gets to get a nice rub too. Rollins hasn’t had much to do since the Rumble and it really goes to show you how up and down the booking is. Yeah he’s beaten Ziggler a few times, but who hasn’t at this point? Rowan is done to say the least, but Ryback has been treated as a pretty big deal since he’s been back. Still though, the Authority wins and they win without much trouble.

I’ll take Stardust over Goldust, likely setting up a Wrestlemania rematch for Goldust’s career. The guy has been around forever and would be excellent for an agent’s job. Stardust needs a win to establish himself as a singles guy, which could be interesting if they let him run with it.

Usos retain the titles because Cesaro and Kidd are just there to give the smarks something to cheer for. Not that it matters anyway as the Ascension is waiting in the wings to take the belts. I wouldn’t mind a more interesting story for the titles, but at least it’s based on something that happened in WWE rather than the stupid reality show.

Ambrose somehow loses the title shot because Barrett has lost almost everything leading up to this match, so why not just let him keep the title? Besides, Ambrose hasn’t won on pay per view since….well since the Shield was around actually. Couple that with him not winning a singles pay per view match since Night of Champions 2013 and there’s no reason to think he should win tomorrow night.

Speaking of horrible stories that make my soul hurt and have no basis in logic or reasoning while involving babbling morons who are a disgrace to their far more talented NXT counterparts but fill out tight tops and shorts better and therefore are more entitled to a spot on the main roster, Nikki retains the title over Paige because TOTAL DIVAS MEANS THEY’RE SO TOTALLY CELEBRITIES and since that show is about the Bellas, they’re more important than Paige. Or something.

I’ll actually take Rusev to keep the title, albeit not in a straight finish. This screams Wrestlemania rematch, which isn’t something I care for most of the time. They also seem to be having some issues with how this match is booked, as the eye injury has been forgotten and for some reason they’re not just going with America vs. Russia, which has worked for the better part of eternity. Instead it’s “Cena is suddenly old, even though no one but Vince thinks that”, which is a pretty lame storyline. Anyway, Rusev retains and Cena gets his big win at Wrestlemania…..in theory. I’d love to see Rusev beat him on the big stage.

That leaves us with Bryan vs. Reigns for the Mania title shot, and I really think they’re going with the triple threat. It would fit perfectly with this show meaning nothing, so why not just have them go with that and put Bryan in the title match? It makes sense (or as much sense as this story can make) and gets us where we need to go. Reigns vs. Lesnar wouldn’t work on its own nearly as well, but it’s clear that this Wrestlemania is going to suffer from them not knowing where they want to go, at least on paper.

Oh and HHH calls out Sting.  They’ll talk, they’ll talk some more, they’ll pretend the Invasion wasn’t a thing, Sting will punch him a few times, a match will be made for Wrestlemania, it will take about three times longer than it should.

Overall, as I’ve mentioned more than once in the preview, this show doesn’t need to exist. It’s there because the Network needs something to hype up and doesn’t make sense with the storylines they have. It’s a weak card which will likely lead us to a weak Wrestlemania, so why would I want to see this? I’ll be watching, but I think the Oscars are going to distract me from this dull show more than once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00SATPVKW

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards – 2014

They’re out again and as usual here are my thoughts on each one of them.  After reading these, I’m very glad I watched Wrestle Kingdom.

Wrestler of the Year – Shinsuke Nakamura

I have a feeling it’s another year of the Japan. I haven’t seen much of Nakamura, but I still go with Seth Rollins over everyone else.

MMA Most Valuable Fighter – Ronda Rousey

I ask this every year and I’ll ask it again: why is a wrestling newsletter giving out MMA awards?

Most Outstanding Wrestling – AJ Styles

I’ve heard a lot of good things about his work, but I’m still not clear how this is different than Wrestler of the Year. And no I’m not asking for an explanation.

Best Box Office Draw – Ronda Rousey

See all my other MMA responses. For actual wrestlers, probably Cena.

Feud of the Year – Jon Jones vs. Daniel Cormier

Good grief we get it already. For a wrestling feud, eh probably Rollins vs. Ambrose or whatever I picked for my award.

Tag Team of the Year – Young Bucks

I can go with this as it’s not like the Usos were really all that great. It’s a down period for tag teams but there’s some hope on the horizon in the Ascension. Yes I still like them.

Most Improved – Rusev

I believe he means Lana but I’m fine with this one, though again I’d pick Rollins. From the guy considered the weakest of the Shield to top heel in the company? That’s pretty improving.

Best on Interviews – Paul Heyman.

Next.

Most Charismatic – Shinsuke Nakamura

Based on Wrestle Kingdom, I have no issue with this one.

Best Technical Wrestler – Zac Sabre Jr.

I haven’t seen anything of his either.

Best Brawler – Tomohiro Ishii

Yep WWE doesn’t exist this year. Ishii is one of those guys who don’t sell anything and fans write it off as tradition or fighting spirit or whatever else they can come up with as excuse.

Best Flying Wrestler – Ricochet

You might know him better as Prince Puma. No one really springs to my mind to beat him so I can live with this again.

Most Overrated – Kane

How can you be overrated when people think you’re one of the worst wrestlers in the world?

Most Underrated – Cesaro

You mean the guy that everyone raves about? How is that underrated? This award usually comes off like “Most Underutilized” as opposed to the previous one being “Most overused.” I get the idea but the award name is kind of misleading.

Promotion of the Year – New Japan

Yeah probably. WWE had a really, really bad year, at least in the second half.

Best Weekly TV Show – NXT

Now we’re getting the hang of this. I think I’ve made my stance clear on this over the year.

Most Outstanding Fighter – Ronda Rousey

Just stop already. Or go post about it on an MMA site.

Match of the Year – AJ Styles vs. Minoru Suzuki

A Japanese guy who wrestles like an MMA fighter? You know Meltzer is all over that. I’ll still take Zayn vs. Neville for the pure emotion though.

Fight of the Year – Johnny Hendricks vs. Robbie Lawler

Good grief. Next.

Rookie of the Year – Dragon Lee II

This would likely be another guy that only Meltzer has ever seen/heard of unless you watch a bunch of obscure wrestling.

Best Non-Wrestler – Paul Heyman

Just name the award after him already. That’s not meant as an insult.

Best Television Announcer – William Regal

I’d go with Renee Young but Regal is a very close second so I have no complaints.

Worst Television Announcer – JBL

Really? With Cole and Lawler around? Or Matt Striker and Vampiro? JBL is annoying but he’s funny when he gets annoyed about the Bunny.

Best Major Show – G1 Climax 24:Day 7

Wrestlemania just means nothing nowadays does it?

Worst Major Wrestling Show – Battleground

I was going to say Bound For Glory, but there was nothing major about that show. Besides, Battleground was actually a good show with the fourway title match and the awesome Usos vs. Wyatts 2/3 falls match. I don’t see why that show gets so much hatred.

Best Wrestling Maneuver – Meltzer Driver

Ok I totally get why he went with this one.

Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic – WWE Insulting Fans Who Bought PPV

Yep. That made me roll my eyes harder than I have in a long time.

Worst Television Show – Monday Night Raw

Oh come on. Raw was bad but Impact could be unwatchable at times and Smackdown was a waste of air time more often than not.

Worst Worked Match of the Year – Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena – Extreme Rules

CAMERON DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO COVER SOMEONE! My goodness really? I know it was a stretch but the Divas should win this every year.

Worst Feud of the Year – Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

I think people are sick of me complaining about this feud so I’ll just quickly agree and move on.

Worst Promotion of the Year – TNA

But Impact is still better than Raw or Smackdown? That’s a bit of a stretch.

Best Booker – Gedo and Jado – New Japan

Sure why not.

Promoter of the Year – Dana White – UFC

NEXT.

Best Gimmick – Rusev and Lana

…really? The best gimmick is something that was tired thirty years ago? Ambrose being insane or Mizdow didn’t win here?

Worst Gimmick – Adam Rose

Disagree again. Rose was fine for what he was but then they turned him and killed the potential he had. As for a worst gimmick, probably Cameron’s stuck up girl character, just because she’s so horrible at everything.

Best Pro Wrestling Book – The Death of WCW

I’m going to need an explanation here because this won ten years ago. Revised edition I’m guessing?

Best Pro Wrestling DVD – Ladies and Gentlemen, My Name Is Paul Heyman

I’ve heard great things about this and need to watch it.

Overall, it’s about what I expected: MMA and New Japan dominating everything. Now in this case I’m a bit more understanding as WWE had a very bad year and New Japan is clearly the second biggest promotion in the world. I know Meltzer is very biased towards New Japan and it’s hard to complain about that as it’s going to show up no matter where you go. And yes, I’m aware that Meltzer’s readers do the voting, and if you believe the majority of them aren’t just repeating his views on things, you’re more delusional than Eva Marie about why she has a job. Just get rid of the MMA stuff and these are far more tolerable.




Reviewing the Review: Tables Ladders and Chairs 2014

We’re up to another show which feels like they’re trying to drain as much blood from the stone of Survivor Series that they can squeeze out. Basically it’s a bunch of singles matches from people who were on the main event teams with gimmicks, more than one of which just do not need to happen. Also, since Lesnar shows up like once every three months, the main event is for Cena’s #1 contendership, but only Cena can leave with it. Is there any reason why this wasn’t the best looking show on paper? Let’s get to it.

The pre-show saw the New Day beat Goldust and Stardust. Would you really expect anything else happening here? That’s really all there is to say here, but I don’t mind the New Day so far. Kofi and Langston have talent and giving them anything to do is a thing idea for them.

The opening match was Luke Harper losing the Intercontinental Title back to Dolph Ziggler in a ladder match in Ziggler’s hometown. This was using the idea of “hit each other really hard with some big ladders” for about fifteen minutes and then have Ziggler win. It’s a great choice for a brawl, but here’s the problem with opening a show with something like this: it’s going to be hard to top. Someday I need to write up a piece on how to structure a card.

Anyway, Ziggler got the title back and that really shouldn’t have shocked anyone. It’s his match in his city (until tomorrow when he was billed from Hollywood, Florida) against a guy that hadn’t actually won a match since he won the title with help. The idea here was that the win elevated Ziggler, but when you think about it, he’s right back to where he was before he was added to Team Cena but now he’s the reason the Authority is gone. Winning the title really doesn’t elevate him any higher than the Survivor Series win did, so I’m not sure if they’re hitting their target on this one.

Earlier in the night, Miz told Naomi that she would be a Hollywood star if he and Mizdow left with the titles. That’s quite the idea, so of course Naomi played absolutely zero role in the title match. Miz hit one of the Usos with a Slammy for the DQ, meaning the story has to continue. They need to do something with Mizdow though because he can only do the same idea so many times before the time is over. I did hear a great idea for how they lose the titles: Mizdow is legal but Miz is down, so Mizdow lays down and takes the pin because Miz isn’t up yet.

The stairs match was the disaster everyone expected it to be. I’ll avoid ranting on Big Show winning again because I think I’ve covered that idea to death already. Here’s the major problem with this match though: why was it a stairs match? The gimmick didn’t get anyone to buy the show, it didn’t help either guy get over, it doesn’t have a history, and it made the match repetitive. There is such a concept as “less is more” and that’s what happened here. This should have been a wrestling match (with Rowan not getting pinned but that’s another story) to give the fans a break from the weapons.

Cena and Rollins had a long and overbooked yet good tables match. I’m not entirely sure what the point was in the tie midway through the match as it really didn’t do anything but extend the match. I guess it lets Rollins say he put Cena through a table but you don’t need the tie to do that. Reigns and Big Show coming down were fine but the match had too much going on. Also, on top of that, what did Rollins have to win here other than pride? Put the #1 contendership on the line or something, because without a title to fight over, it stops meaning much.

Nikki retained over AJ in another nothing match. Three notes here: first of all, Brie said that she’s fine with her sister because they’re family. That’s about as lame of an answer as they could have gone with and is code for “We changed the story. Get over it.” The other note is Nikki Bella ACTUALLY CHEATED to keep the title by using hairspray to blind AJ for the Rack Attack. You know, like a villain is supposed to do. If villains don’t cheat, it’s hard for them to be villains.

Third, to further illustrate how over managed the whole company is, the stuff sprayed in AJ’s eyes was originally called hairspray on WWE.com but they changed it to “an unidentified substance.” Here’s the thing: someone actually looked at that report on WWE.com, saw that it said hairspray, and said no no no it was just some substance.

1. What’s wrong with hairspray?

2. Why not just call it an unidentified substance in the first place?

3. Who in the freaking world cares that it wasn’t actually hairspray??? I know there are some nitpickers out there, but was there really someone out there freezing the screen and zooming in on it to see if it was really hairspray???

4. Who looked at the report and said “CHANGE THIS IMMEDIATELY!!!!”? I really want to know who is in charge of the “identifying what Nikki Bella uses to cheat to win matches” department at WWE.com.

5. Someone is being paid to change hairspray to unidentified substance. Remember that the next time you’re looking for a job.

Next up was Ryback vs. Kane in a chairs match. Here’s a quicker way to cover this one. Read this but substitute Kane for Big Show, Ryback for Erick Rowan, chairs for stairs and swap the winner.

The stairs match was the disaster everyone expected it to be. I’ll avoid ranting on Big Show winning again because I think I’ve covered that idea to death already. Here’s the major problem with this match though: why was it a stairs match? The gimmick didn’t get anyone to buy the show, it didn’t help either guy get over, it doesn’t have a history, and it made the match repetitive. There is such a concept as “less is more” and that’s what happened here. This should have been a wrestling match (with Rowan not getting pinned but that’s another story) to give the fans a break from the weapons.

Rusev b. Swagger Part 19.

Wyatt beat Dean Ambrose in the namesake match when a TV monitor blew up in Dean’s face so Bray could hit Sister Abigail. I’ll skip all the spots and get down to the message of this match: sometimes someone has to lose a match. Anymore WWE seems obsessed with finding ways for someone to slip on a banana peel to lose after dominating for most of the match. Sometimes you have to have someone win and someone lose without some big gimmick ending.

If you’re trying to elevate both guys, having one put up a heck of a fight but come up short isn’t going to kill them (see Cactus Jack vs. HHH in 2000 for proof) but having Ambrose lose like he did here and in the Cell make me roll my eyes and forget the rest of the match. Tell me: how many things do you remember about the match outside of the ending? It was a good match but no one is talking about anything but the ending and how stupid it made Ambrose look. Get the idea here?

Overall this show had too much thought put into it and the whole thing got screwed up. The chairs and stairs matches could have been wrestling matches and the main event being worth anything (#30 in the Rumble perhaps?) would have helped it a ton. At the end of the day, Lesnar and the title not being around is killing this company and they need to get the title off of him as soon as possible.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Smackdown – December 16, 2014: Is It Any Wonder?

Smackdown
Date: December 16, 2014
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commenators: Tom Phillips, Michae Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

Welcome to one of the only times all year that WWE remembers this show matters. This is a special live edition of the show airing on a Tuesday instead of the usual taped Friday timeslot. We’re coming off a fairly dull show last night and the only thing of note is that Bray and Dean are both in the building tonight. Not in a match or anythign mind you, but in the building. Let’s get to it.

Cole says this is the 800th episode. Apparently that’s correct, even though this is the first mention of the milestone.

Roman Reigns vs. Fandango

We get a quick recap of last night and the question now is how long does this last. Feeling out process to start until Reigns easily throws him down. Fandango actually takes him down into a chinlock as the crowd dies a bit. Reigns fights up and responds to the canned chants with a big running clothesline. There’s the Superman Punch and the spear is good for the pin at 4:47.

Result: D+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Reigns just ended Fandango with that spear. Speaking of ending Fandango, it’s about that time. His gimmick stopped being entertaining months ago and this idea of the new and improved version sounds more like a joke than anything else.

Quick package on the TLC match.

Here’s Ambrose for a chat. He talks about all the horrible things he and Bray did to each other but then an act of God made him lose. However, he saw a look in Bray’s eyes that showed him how crazy Dean was. For once Wyatt was in the ring with someone just as insane as he is. They face each other tomorrow night at Tribute to the Troops in a Boot Camp Match.

Bray comes up on screen to say that Ambrose is still breathing because Bray is enjoying this game. If anyone could see the creature behind his eyes, they would know that he is disdain and the slayer of his calling. He won’t stop until he sees all the heroes fall and the cities crumble. Bray is the battlefield and it will all burn.

Usos/Erick Rowan vs. Luke Harper/Miz/Damien Mizdow

This is Rowan’s second match tonight as he lost to Kane on Main Event thanks to Titus O’Neil. The fans are of course behind Mizdow more than the real version but Harper doesn’t seem to like either of them. Luke knocks Jey down into the corner to start but Jey comes back with an uppercut to the jaw. Off to Miz as everyone heads to the floor, leading to a big standoff and a break.

Back with Jimmy fighting out of a Harper chinlock but walking into a big superkick. Miz comes back in and chokes on the ropes a lot, only to get caught in a rollup for two. Mizdow holds out his hand but it’s off to Harper instead. Harper puts on the Gator Roll and Mizdow mimics him, ticking off Miz.

The heels start arguing and nearly allow a hot tag off to Jey. Mizdow finally tags himself in to the pop of the night, but Miz tags himself back in when Mizdow tries the corner clothesline. The distraction lets Jimmy make the tag off to Rowan to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Usos knock Harper onto the announcers’ table. Rowan busts out a top rope splash and actually gets a pin on Miz at 11:50.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here as it’s a standard six man tag on this show. At least Rowan finally got a pin, even though it’s an hour removed from jobbing to Kane. I don’t have much hope for him due to how they’ve treated him so far, but at least he got a win here. On a show that means almost nothing.

Naomi, who has a Divas Title shot tonight thanks to Miz, is fired up for her match. Jimmy is excited as well and can’t wait to be at ringside. Actually Naomi would rather do this one on her own, which Jimmy reluctantly agrees to.

We recap Chris Jericho and the cage match from Raw last night.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

No match actually as Rusev jumps Ryback during his entrance and knocks him off the stage.

Rollins says this is what happens when there’s no Authority to keep things in line. He brags about winning his war with Cena last night and says it’s time for a night off. Cue Dolph Ziggler in street clothes for an interruption. He shares credit with Sting for getting rid of the Authority and reminds Rollins that it was the night he beat him. Ziggler throws out a challenge but Rollins doesn’t think so. Dolph suggests that Seth is scared so Rollins says it’s just Dolph Ziggler and accepts.

Ascension is coming.

Divas Title: Naomi vs. Nikki Bella

Naomi is challenging, somehow due to Miz’s Hollywood connections. This actually gets big match intros. Naomi knocks her out of the corner to start and hits a kind of running double knee to the face for two. An Alabama Slam and slingshot suplex get two each for the champ and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere as Naomi fights up, only to collide with Nikki to put both girls down. Miz comes out to cheer for Naomi, who snaps Nikki’s throat across the top for two. Nikki sends her outside and Miz is there for a pep talk. This brings out Jimmy to chase him off but the distraction lets Nikki small package Naomi to retain at 4:15.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special but this was perfect for the story. You can tell they’ve actually put something together here and have some thought to it. They’re using real life and fictitious characters to make something interesting and I’m interested in seeing where it’s going. Why don’t they do this more often?

As soon as the match ends and Naomi looks at Jimmy, Cole tells us about a poll on the WWE App that thinks Miz is up to no good. That line sums up one of WWE’s biggest problems right now. We have an interesting story going on with another new development but COle has to stop to plug a totally meaningless poll that hasn’t been mentioned until just now and tells us something that anyone with a brain could figure out. Stop telling us about everything else you can think of to plug and talk about what’s going on right in front of you.

Adam Rose vs. Kane

The Bunny is now in a neck brace. Kane knocks Rose down to start but walks into a clothesline and a high cross body, but Adam stops to dance. The big boot and chokeslam end this in 1:18.

Kane tombstones the Bunny again.

Rollins talks about how he’s going to go after John Cena and ruin everything he does until the Authority comes back. If that means he has to work with Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar, so be it.

Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler

Non-title. Rollins, sporting bruised ribs, bails to the floor to start before heading back inside, only to have Dolph throw him right back outside. Back in and Seth kicks him in the ribs to take over before dropping Dolph with some clotheslines. Ziggler tries a quick Zig Zag but gets sent to the floor, allowing Noble to get in a cheap shot as we take a break.

Back with Rollins in full control and taking his sweet time hammering on Ziggler. A hard running clothesline puts Dolph down again and Rollins sends him out to the floor. With Noble shouting encouragement in that country accent, Rollins goes up but gets knocked down onto the ribs. Dolph scores with a dropkick for two, ducks the enziguri and nails the running DDT for two more.

Now Seth’s enziguri connects but he takes too much time going up, allowing Dolph to run the corner for a top rope faceplant. The Stooges offer a distraction so Dolph backdrops Rollins over the top and down onto both of them. Fameasser gets two back inside but Noble nails Dolph with a cheap shot. That earns the Stooges an ejection, setting up the Zig Zag for the pin at 15:13.

Rating: B-. I’m torn here. For one thing, I’m glad that they give Ziggler a big win like this, but at the same time they give Rollins a huge win last night and then have him job here. The one time they should have had a run-in finish and they actually have a fall. It does help that the Stooges’ distraction led to the finish, but I’d have preferred if he wasn’t pinned in the middle of the ring.

Ziggler escapes a beating to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was your standard Smackdown: some decent wrestling, some one off matches, and nothing of note happening. There was nothing special about this one and this week is already feeling more like a headache than something to look forward to. Tomorrow’s special is likely to feel like a glorified house show and Raw was nothing special either. Is it any wonder why there’s no interest in the product at the moment? Not only is the show dull, but there’s a ton of it at the moment. It’s not the worst show, but there’s no reason to watch it, as usual.

Results

Roman Reigns b. Fandango – Spear

Usos/Erick Rowan b. Miz/Damien Mizdow/Luke Harper – Top rope splash to Miz

Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Small package

Kane b. Adam Rose – Chokeslam

Dolph Ziggler b. Seth Rollins – Zig Zag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

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Smackdown – December 5, 2014: The Show That Loves Bald Men

Smackdown
Date: December 5, 2014
Location: Chesapeake Energy Arena, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Commentators: Tom Phillips, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

We’re getting close to TLC and we have most of the card set already. Naturally most of it is just pairings from the Survivor Series main event split off into singles matches with gimmicks attached. The violence and carnage at the pay per view is usually enough to carry it over the weak stories so hopefully it works again this year. Let’s get to it.

Recap of the main story from Raw with Cena vs. Rollins in a tables match being set for TLC and all the brawling between the Survivor Series teams.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper

Harper is defending of course. The champ sends him into the corner to start but Dolph hammers away with shots to the jaw. That’s fine with Luke as he picks Dolph up and drives him into the corner again. Ziggler tries the same sunset flip that pinned Luke on Monday but only gets two and a boot on his throat for his efforts. A quick neckbreaker gets two for Ziggler but Harper blocks the running DDT and just drills him with an elbow to the face.

Harper doesn’t want his leg to feel left out so he nails a big boot to send Ziggler to the floor and us to a break. Back with Ziggler fighting out of a chinlock and sending Luke shoulder first into the post. Harper counters another neckbreaker but misses the big boot and eats the running DDT for two more.

Now it’s Dolph missing a kick of his own and walking into a superkick from the champ. The Fameasser gets two more as the trading continues. Ziggler gets two each off a high cross body, sunset flip out of a powerbomb and superkick as frustration is setting in. Harper has had enough though and kicks Dolph low for the DQ at 10:10.

Rating: C+. I still like their matches as they’re playing the power vs. speed dynamic very well, but they’re starting to do the same match over and over again. On top of that, it’s hard to believe that the title is going to change hands before TLC, which makes the near falls a bit harder to get behind. Still entertaining though.

Post match Harper pulls in a ladder and loads up a powerbomb, but you can’t powerbomb Kidman. In this case you can’t powerbomb Ziggler either as he faceplants Luke into the ladder. Harper rolls outside so Dolph pelts the ladder at his head in a big crash. Santino comes out and makes the obvious ladder match at TLC because the power makes him feel like Oprah.

Here’s what’s left of the Authority, complete with Big Show, with something to say. Rollins says he hates Christmas but can’t wait for the annual demolition derby known as TLC. In nine days, he gets to face your hero John Cena in a tables match with Cena’s future title shot on the line.

Rollins is excited by taking away the only thing Cena cares about, because he doesn’t have to make Cena tap out or pin him, even though he could (Sheamus used nearly the exact same line in 2009). All he has to do is drive Cena through a table, but more than just a table is going to be broken. Rollins is going to have tables everywhere and Cena is going to get beaten up, plus a lot of splinters. Uh….right Seth.

Anyway, Big Show says he’s been here for a long time and had all kinds of matches. However, this is going to be his first steel stairs match. He heads outside and bangs the steps into the post a few times and promises to do much worse to Rowan. Kane wants to talk about his chairs match with Ryback, where Ryback will be fed chair after chair after chair. Cue Santino to make our tag match main event: Rollins/Big Show vs. Ryback/Rowan.

We recap the Miz/Naomi/Jimmy Uso stuff from Monday. Miz apologized to Jimmy on Main Event and asked if Jimmy was mad that Miz could do more for Naomi’s career than Jimmy ever could.

Cesaro/Tyson Kidd vs. New Day

Woods/Kingston here. Woods tags out less than five seconds in so Kofi can sunset flip Cesaro for two. Cesaro drives Kofi into the corner so Kidd can hammer him down. Kingston easily fights out of a chinlock and cleans house, including the Boom Drop on Tyson. Trouble in Paradise misses but the SOS gets two. Everything breaks down and a Demolition Decapitator with a Woods top rope stomp instead of an Ax elbow is good for the pin on Kidd at 2:45.

New Day celebrates when the Dusts pop up on screen. Stardust wants to know why the three of them are thinking this will be any different when they’ve tried the same things over and over again. They’re heading for a black hole (seriously) where light can never escape. The positive message means nothing to Goldust and there will be no new day. Woods says darkness will not prevail because there is no force in the cosmos that can hold them back. Kofi says the New Day is about unity and they’ll take the Dusts on any time. Big E. goes into full on preacher mode and promises to make them feel the power of the New Day.

Naomi is very happy with a bouquet of flowers. She thanks Jimmy for them but he didn’t send her any flowers. Apparently she never thought to read the card because they’re an apology from Miz. Jimmy smashes the vase.

We get a clip from Main Event with Swagger making it his mission to take the US Title from Rusev.

Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev

Non-title. Before the match, Dean says he really enjoyed destroying the rocking chair on Monday. Maybe Bray’s grandmother used to read Baby Bray stories from that chair. Or maybe he just saw it at Cracker Barrel and liked it. Not that it matters because at TLC, Dean is going to break Wyatt into more pieces than he broke that chair. Lana and Rusev come out with the blonde saying the match won’t be happening, thanks to Jack Swagger.

We see a clip from Raw of Swagger going after Rusev, which Lana calls persecution. Rusev promises to snap every bone in Jack’s body, just like he did to Zeb Colter. Dean tells Lana to stop with the flirtatious eyes because he’s going to fight the Russian. He goes after Rusev but gets jumped from behind by Wyatt. Dean fights back as Bray goes to get a chair but Wyatt sends him into the steps. He gets the chair and puts it against Dean’s throat before driving the chair into the steps. Medics check on Dean as Bray has a disturbing smile on his face. Ambrose does a stretcher job.

Jey Uso vs. Miz

Before the match, Miz wants to know what’s up with Jimmy. Is he really that insecure and jealous? Miz is just trying to pass along the kind of help that made people like Kate Upton and Selena Gomez. The agent has been watching her on Total Divas and thinks she’s a star in the making because she’s hot with a voluptuous body.

The Usos come out with no special entrance and we’re ready to go. Jimmy tries to come in soon after the bell but gets ejected for his efforts. We get our first contact over a minute in with Miz driving a knee into Jey’s ribs. It’s already off to a chinlock but Jey quickly fights up and nails a Samoan drop. Mizdow comes in for a distraction though and the Skull Crushing Finale is enough to pin Jey at 2:25.

Brie Bella vs. Naomi

AJ Lee and Nikki are both at ringside with the former on commentary. We look at AJ fighting both Bellas on Monday. AJ: “It’s great therapy to punch a Bella in the face.” Brie nails a dropkick for an early two as Nikki sits on the steps and taunts AJ with the belt. A clothesline gets two for Brie and we hit the chinlock. AJ says she was Divas Champion for so many days that it was a common law marriage. Naomi tries what looked to be Rey Mysterio’s sitout bulldog but Brie falls backwards instead. AJ prevents Nikki from interfering and Naomi rolls Brie up for the pin at 2:34.

Santino is in the back, talking about how hard it is to be in charge. If anyone understands what that means, it’s….the Bunny. Apparently Santino’s grandmother calls him at 3am to ask him how to fix the clock on the microwave.

Rollins and Show are ready for their match thanks to a Kane pep talk. Show says they’re not friends but he needs to get through this match to get to TLC.

Ryback/Erick Rowan vs. Seth Rollins/Big Show

Rowan and Rollins get things going with Seth being launched across the ring. Rollins bails to the corner but actually doesn’t tag. Rowan does though as it’s Ryback’s turn to hammer away in the corner. He misses a charge though and Seth drives in some elbows to the head, only to be driven across the ring with ease. Seth runs him over again though and we take a break. Back with Big Show headbutting Ryback and elbowing him in the back of the head. Ryback fights out of a chokeslam attempt and makes the hot tag to Rowan.

Things speed up with Rowan nailing a bunch of clotheslines to put Show down, only to have the Stooges offer a distraction so Big Show can take over. We settle down to Rollins driving knees into Erick’s head before it’s back to Show for a snapmare of all things. A DDT gets two on Erick but Show misses the elbow. The real hot tag brings in Ryback to clean house, but Rollins counters a swinging Rock Bottom into a crucifix for two in a nice counter.

The springboard knee to the head misses though and Ryback powerslams him down for two. The Stooges’ distraction breaks up the Shell Shock and the knee to Ryback’s head gets two. Seth misses a Curb Stomp and eats a spinebuster, only to have Kane get on the apron. Rollins enziguris Ryback down as Kane gets ejected. The referee won’t allow a tag to Big Show that he didn’t see, leaving a protesting Rollins to eat the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 14:43.

Rating: C. What is with WWE not letting Big Show or Kane do a job? You have Big Show right there and you have Rollins do a clean job instead? Anyway, it’s nice to see Ryback get a pin but he lost a lot of momentum at Survivor Series. The match was your standard main event tag without anything to make it interesting but it was a fine way to finish a show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was the run of the mill Smackdown with nothing worth seeing and very limited storyline development, but it’s cool to see actual stories in the midcard other than the standard stuff you see every time. Thankfully there isn’t much time left until TLC and we can get ready for the Rumble when things will actually pick up.

Results

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper via DQ when Harper kicked Ziggler low

New Day b. Cesaro/Tyson Kidd – Top rope double stomp/backbreaker combination to Kidd

Miz b. Jey Uso – Skull Crushing Finale

Naomi b. Brie Bella – Rollup

Ryback/Erick Rowan b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Shell Shock to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00PZ1GR7E

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5.  Check out the details here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2014/11/28/holiday-sale/




Wrestler of the Day – November 26: Nikki Bella

Today we’re looking at a chick who is now one of the focuses of the Divas division. If nothing else it shows you the power of sleeping with John Cena. Today is Nikki Bella.

The Bellas got started in developmental in 2007 and we’ll pick things up on ECW on March 30, 2009 with their first showdown.

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

Nikki comes out with Miz and Morrison but Brie counters with Carlito and Primo. Brie grabs a quick rollup for two before just hammering away at her sister’s face. Some armdrags put Nikki down but she grabs a quick suplex for two. Brie hooks a bulldog but the tag teams get in a brawl, allowing Nikki to roll up Brie for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow this is going to be even worse when we get the big showdown in a few months. The girls just aren’t that good in the ring and it really shows in these matches. Nikki and Brie try out there but they seem to take things way more seriously than they should and it drags everything down. Just be good looking women and shake your hips.

Nikki didn’t have a lot of success at first so we’ll jump ahead to Raw on August 9, 2010.


Gail Kim/Eve Torres vs. Maryse/Jillian Hall vs. Bella Twins

This is a Summer Spectacular or something. They’re all in swimsuits, but of course one pieces. Santino and Kozlov are here too and they come in on a water slide. This goes like 3 minutes and one of the Bellas hits a cross body to beat Jillian. Tamina comes out in a swimsuit as well and slaps Santino’s tights. Yep it’s Glamarella all over again.

Rating: N/A. The girls looked good at least. If you have a thing for legs, FIND THIS MATCH IMMEDIATELY.

Off to Tribute to the Troops 2010, when it still meant something.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Kelly Kelly vs. Alicia Fox/Melina/Laycool

Not on the first show either. Yep the evil ones are definitely hotter. Theyre all in Santa outfits of course. Alicia vs. a Bella starts us off and Cole thinks its Nikki. Since Cole is a very stupid man well call her Brie. Melina is working as a heel here to play up the whole turn on Raw two days ago. Kelly comes in and we get the headscissors to show off the underwear under her skirt. She beats the tar out of Michelle before Layla saves. Everyone gets in until Kelly hits K2 to beat Michelle. Another nothing match.

We’ll head stateside again for Raw on March 7, 2011.

Womens Title: Eve Torres vs. Nikki Bella

The bell is after the break. Gail Kim is here with Eve. Eve starts all fired up and hammers away on Nikki including a bicycle kick. Cole talks about going to be on New Years Eve and waking up on Christmas morning. Thats how he feels about introducing his referee tonight. Cole literally gets up on the table and grabs a mic, saying we need to end this because he wants to announce his referee. Eve uses the bottom rope as a springboard to get an enziguri. Twin Magic gets caught and a spinning neckbreaker gives eve the win at 3:12.

Rating: C. Even with the Cole stuff in there the whole time this wasn’t bad for the most part. Eve dominated and thankfully they didn’t manage to make things look stupid with the Twin Magic getting by again. It makes the referee and wrestlers look stupid so I’m glad it failed here. Decent match here and pretty good for the most part. Should be interesting to see where it goes from here too.

Another year, another Tribute to the Troops, this time in 2011.

Bella Twins/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly/Alicia Fox/Maria Menounos

Maria is the host of I think Extra. She was a guest host of Raw a few years ago. Eve vs. a Bella starts us off but it’s off to Maria quickly. Off to Eve with the other Bella quickly and the standing moonsault gets two. Beth comes in but gets caught by an enziguri. Kelly comes in and everything breaks down with one from each side having the upper hand for about 3 seconds. Maria comes in against Beth and gets a pin off a sunset flip. This was what it was.

The Twins would go back to the only thing that worked for them on Raw, January 2, 2012.

Bella Twins vs. Eve Torres/Kelly Kelly

Kelly vs. let’s say Brie to start and Kelly does her spanking and Stinkface to get on my nerves even more. Eve comes in and does her usual stuff. The moonsault is broken up and it’s Nikki in now. Top rope moonsault gets two and it’s Twin Magic for the pin on Eve at 2:04. Are we really back to this again?

Then things would change in a hurry on Raw, April 23, 2012.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. Beth Phoenix

Before the match here’s Eve to say that this is now a lumberjack match. Maxine is one of the divas here so I’m sure she’ll be complaining about not being off NXT yet this week again. Nikki dropkicks Beth down and monkey flips her down. That results in her getting slammed into the corner and gorilla press dropped. Off to a chinlock followed by a backbreaker. Beth throws her to the floor and injures her knee. Brie goes after Beth and the lumberjacks jump on Beth in a dog pile. I think there was a switch in the pile but I’m not sure. Beth’s ankle or leg is messed up, allowing Nikki to roll her up and win the title at 4:11.

Rating: D. The girls looked good, the match was the usual Diva stuff, the whole deal with the Bellas leaving soon is now up in the air, I still don’t care about the Divas. Next. Oh and the leg injury appears to be real. This really was a surprise, mainly due to rumors that the Bellas were going to be leaving soon.

The title reign would last all of six days and the Bellas actually would leave the company for over a year. They would return in 2013 and pick up where they left off. From Raw on October 21, 2013.

Bella Twins vs. Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee

Brie takes Tamina down to start but the Twin is knocked to the floor with ease. Back in and a snap suplex gets two on Brie before we hit the cravate. Off to Nikki who is easily slammed down before it’s off to AJ, who gets the biggest reaction of the match. Nikki fights out of a chinlock and makes the hot tag off to Brie, sending the fans back into their coma. Brie speeds things up and dropkicks Brie down, only to get caught in a half crab. Brie hits a bad looking knee to the ribs before accidentally kneeing Tamina in the head. Not that it matters though as the Bella Buster pins AJ at 5:27.

Rating: D. The Bellas look good in their outfits but man alive this face turn isn’t working. The problem is the double turn by the Bellas and AJ depends on if you like Total Divas. If you like the show, you buy the double turn. If you don’t like Total Divas, you side with AJ, even though there aren’t any shades of gray in the story. AJ is meant to be the heel and Brie as the girl who is fighting for what she wants, even though no one seems to care.

Then came Total Divas, which basically starred the Bellas in the early days. This led to a long feud with the True Divas, including this mathc on Raw, December 2, 2013.

Summer Rae/Tamina Snuka/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Natalya

The non-Total Divas are now the True Divas. AJ skips around the ring while Nikki gets two off a crucifix on Tamina to start. Brie comes in with a middle rope dropkick and a running knee to Snuka’s chest. AJ is still skipping around the ring. Summer chokes Brie on the ropes and shows off her flexibility before getting a two count.

Brie finally fights out and makes the tag to Natalya who speeds things up a bit. Tamina is knocked off the apron so Summer shouts at AJ to stop skipping and make the tag. AJ finally comes in and nearly gets caught in the Sharpshooter as everything breaks down. The distraction lets Natalya roll up AJ for the pin at 4:18.

Rating: D. Here’s the problem with the Total Divas face push in a nutshell: we haven’t been given a reason to care about them. There was never a moment where they were all turned face, other than AJ’s promo from months ago which was all true stuff. WWE is assuming that fans like the Total Divas because they have a reality show and the Bellas date Cena and Bryan, though I don’t think Cena and Nikki have ever been announced on WWE TV. Other than that, they just started being faces and the announcers started talking about AJ being mean. That’s not enough to build a boring feud on and it’s showing badly.

Off to the blue show on March 14, 2014.

Nikki Bella vs. Tamina Snuka

AJ sits in on commentary as Tamina takes Nikki down by the hair. Nikki is sent to the floor and holds her knee, prompting some amusing fake concern from the champ. Back in and Nikki gets slammed down but still avoids the Superfly Splash. AJ tries to figure out who the #1 contender is as Tamina kicks Nikki’s head off for two. Tamina gets bored with Nikki and throws Brie into the barricade for fun. It doesn’t pay off though as Nikki hits the Rack for the pin at 3:13.

Rating: D. Divas, regular match, Nikki’s turn for a push. Next.

Nikki would get a big push over the summer and eventually turned heel on her sister, setting up this match at Hell in a Cell 2014.

Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella

Loser is the winner’s servant for 30 days. They lock up to start with Brie sending Nikki into the corner but missing a charge. Nikki runs her over for two and a facebuster gets the same. The fans start chanting JBL because NO ONE CARES ABOUT THIS STORY. Brie plants her face first for two before hitting a few dropkicks. A running knee to the face has Nikki in trouble but she misses a charge and falls out to the floor.

She comes up clutching her knee and heads back inside to take a missile dropkick for two. Nikki pops back up and hooks the Rack for two. Brie slaps on the YES Lock but Nikki gets her feet on the ropes. Nikki comes back with a hard forearm to the face and a second Rack for the pin at 6:21.

Rating: D+. The worst part: the wrestling wasn’t all that bad. The problem with this is it’s one of the least interesting stories in years as I don’t even remember why they’re fighting. I get that it’s about Brie quitting but are we really supposed to care that a woman is dating John Cena (wait, does that relationship exist in WWE?) and had to wrestle some handicap matches against some heels. Also, if Nikki hates her sister so much, why would she want her around for thirty more days?

We’ll wrap it up with Nikki’s title shot at Survivor Series 2014.

Divas Title: AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella

AJ is defending and Nikki has her sister Brie as an assistant. We get big match intros and Brie gets up on the apron with with title in her hand. She kisses AJ, allowing Nikki to get in a cheap shot and the Rack Attack gives us a new champ at 38 seconds in the Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan ending from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

I’ve made no secret out of the fact that I really don’t think much of Nikki Bella. She tries to be all serious and intense and it really doesn’t work. At the end of the day, she’s another Diva who is there because she looks good in tight outfits and has a twin. She’s gotten better over the last year or so, but there’s still just not enough there to warrant the push she gets. There are far worse Divas out there, but at the end of the day my reaction continues to be that I don’t get why I’m supposed to care.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown – November 28, 2014: House Show Badness

Smackdown
Date: November 28, 2014
Location: Allen County War Memorial Coliseum, Fort Wayne, Indiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Tom Phillips

The Authority is gone, for now at least, and much like Raw we don’t have a permanent boss. There’s a chance that WWE will just use the same rotating boss idea like they’re doing on Raw, because goodness knows wrestling fans just aren’t smart enough to get by without a GM pointing the way. Let’s get to it.

We open with a Sting montage. That’s still so strange to see in WWE.

Opening sequence.

First up is MizTV with Miz saying he became WWE Tag Team Champion at Survivor Series. The fans of course cheer for Mizdow. Tonight’s guest is Big Show and we see a clip of Rowan knocking him to the floor on Monday. Miz says a lot of people aren’t happy with Big Show but the only problem Miz sees is that Show joined Team Cena. Show is so glad that someone finally gets it. He had to look out for himself because no one else will and no one knows his situation but him.

Cue Daniel Bryan for an interruption and a huge ovation. On Monday, Show said that if anyone has something to say, they should come say it to his face. Well Bryan has something to say: he’s in charge tonight. First of all, we’re going to have Ryback vs. Seth Rollins. That’s not all though, as a title is going to be defended tonight when Luke Harper defends against Dolph Ziggler.

Miz tells Daniel to stop stealing his spotlight. Bryan: “Mizdow already did that.” Show wants Bryan out, but Daniel has something for Big Show too. On Monday, Rusev refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance, so tonight he’s defending the US Title in a 20 man battle royal, which starts right now.

US Title: Battle Royal

Rusev, Big Show, Miz, Damien Mizdow, Erick Rowan, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Diego, Fernando, Titus O’Neil, Jack Swagger, Heath Slater, Tyson Kidd, Adam Rose, Sin Cara, Cesaro, Goldust, Stardust, Justin Gabriel, Curtis Axel

It’s a huge mess to start with Show crushing Los Matadores in the corner before throwing Gabriel and Cara out with ease. Rowan does the same to Slater and Cesaro punches Axel over the top. Los Matadores throw out Rose but Show tosses both of them at the same time. We get the showdown with Rowan and Big Show and Erick gets the better of it by knocking Show into the corner and eliminating him pretty easily. Show isn’t done though as he grabs Rowan from behind, allowing Rusev to dump him.

A bunch of guys go after Rusev to no avail as we take a break. Back with Miz saving himself and no new eliminations as far as I can tell. We have Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Tyson Kidd, Cesaro, Miz, Damien Mizdow, Stardust, Goldust, Rusev, Titus O’Neil and Jack Swagger to go. Stardust low bridges Miz to the floor so Mizdow eliminates himself. Swagger puts out the Dusts before Titus knocks Jimmy out.

Jey dumps Titus, Kidd eliminates Jey and we’re down to four: Swagger, Kidd, Cesaro and Rusev. Everyone goes after Swagger but he fights his way off the and back inside. He throws all three evil foreigners into the corner and gives Rusev the Vader Bomb, only to have to save himself from Cesaro. Kidd dives at Jack but gets dumped, allowing Cesaro to send Swagger to the apron. He backdrops Cesaro out but Rusev hits the running superkick to eliminate Swagger and retain at 13:27.

Rating: D+. This was a fast moving battle royal that didn’t have any significant threat to the champ. Show and Rowan could have won just on size and power alone but Rusev is going to have the title a lot longer than he has so far. You could tell there wasn’t going to be much here with all those tag teams in there though.

Kane is working merchandise tonight when Santino comes up. He mocks Kane’s Ryback shirt, gets stared at, and runs away.

Bray Wyatt is here for a chat. When Ambrose started climbing that ladder on Sunday, he looked like an angel climbing up to Heaven. It almost brought a smile to Bray’s face, but there’s not enough room for people like them up there. He could feel those chairs crashing down on him and it almost made him think he failed Dean for the first time. They have reached the point of no return and what happens next will change Ambrose. Tables, ladders and chairs. Bray says it over and over because he’s going to enjoy torturing Ambrose’s body with all those things. Follow the buzzards.

TLC ad, set to Jingle Bells.

Nikki Bella vs. Emma

Non-title. Nikki slams Emma down with ease but gets caught in the Dilemma for a few seconds. A big slap puts the champ down but Emma runs into an elbow to the jaw. Rack Attack ends this at 1:29.

Post match Nikki has Brie hold the title and say it’s time to hear the truth about AJ Lee. We’ve heard her sob story over and over, but Nikki has worked harder. She’s what a real Divas Champion looks like and AJ will always be that pathetic little girl from New Jersey. AJ runs in and nails Brie as Nikki bails. Nikki had good passion in her promo, but trying to take her seriously as this hard working woman who has clawed her way to the top cracks me up every time.

Kane has destroyed the merchandise stand.

Ryback vs. Seth Rollins

Ryback quickly shoves him down so Rollins grabs a headlock to take away the momentum. A slam sends Rollins rolling to the floor but he comes back in for some unsold chops. Ryback gets all fired up but misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Back in and Rollins nails a dropkick for two and puts on a front facelock. Rollins fights out of a quick Shell Shock attempt and hits the Downward Spiral into the corner for two. They head outside with Ryback going after Mercury, only to have Rollins send him into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Rollins holding a headlock until Ryback lifts him up into a kind of slingshot belly to back suplex. Ryback’s powerbomb is escaped and an enziguri connects, followed by a superkick for two. Seth misses a splash in the corner so Ryback lifts him up, only to be countered into a running buckle bomb for two. That was a surprising power display from Rollins. The big guy backdrops Rollins onto the Stooges before planting him with a spinebuster back inside. There’s the Meat Hook but Kane runs in for the DQ at 14:46.

Rating: C-. They telegraphed the ending with that shot of the destroyed merchandise stand and the match felt like it was just killing time until we got to this point. That and Kane runs in on at least a match a week anymore so you had to know this was coming. At least Ryback should be able to destroy him in a few weeks.

Rollins and Kane take Ryback down and Kane destroys him with a chair.

Curtis Axel/Slater Gator vs. New Day

New Day is very excited to be making their debut here. Woods dropkicks Axel down to start before bringing Kofi in to kick him in the chest. Big E. nails the Warrior Splash but stops to wipe the sweat off his face. Axel finally takes Xavier down and it’s off to Slater for some stomps to the chest. The heels start taking over until Woods flips out of a suplex and tags out to Kofi. Everything breaks down and Big E. backdrops Kofi onto Titus and Axel. Back in and a combination top rope DDT/Big Ending puts Slater away at 3:23.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t bad but what are you expecting from two former Intercontinental Champions and Woods? That’s the problem with a team like this: two of the three members have already had success, so it’s not like them beating a team of jobbers really means anything. It’s not a bad idea but they need to actually go somewhere instead of acting like these wins mean much.

Recap of the Authority having to leave and Bryan’s revenge on all of the Team Authority members.

Bryan makes Ryback vs. Kane in a Chairs match for TLC. Oh and YES he will be back soon.

Stardust says the Cosmic Key is gone but their anguish goes on and on. He says each day is part of the endless march to oblivion and welcome to the Black Hole. Goldust declares that darkness has fallen on the New Day. There’s the first feud.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Luke Harper

Ziggler is challenging and goes right at Harper with a rollup like he beat him with on Sunday. A dropkick puts Luke on the floor and we take an early break. Back with Ziggler fighting back with Cole saying it’s rally time. A high cross body gets two but Harper sends him face first into the buckle. We hit the chinlock from the champ but Ziggler hits a quick jawbreaker. Back up and Ziggler hammers away before getting two off the big elbow. The Fameasser is countered but Dolph slips out of a powerbomb and hits the running DDT for two.

Harper gets the same off the sitout Boss Man Slam and Ziggler nails a Fameasser for yet another two. Luke comes back with the big boot and Batista Bomb for two more and Harper is getting shocked. Why he’s shocked I’m not sure as that’s the third time that combination has gotten a near fall. They head outside with Ziggler being launched over the announcers’ table, only to pop up with a superkick, allowing him to beat the count for the win at 10:52.

Rating: C+. Nice match here as these two have good chemistry and Ziggler can take big bumps like almost no other. Harper is going to be a good dragon for someone to slay and take the belt but I can’t imagine him as a long term champion. They’ll likely have a ladder match at the pay per view which should be fun.

Post match Harper lays Ziggler out with the discus lariat but takes too long getting the belt, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This felt like a B house show that was filmed and aired on a Friday night. Nothing on here meant anything and the only thing that mattered was Ryback vs. Kane being announced for the pay per view. That being said, it wasn’t really bad or anything, but it’s back to the old Smackdown standard: it came, it aired for two hours, it had some passable matches and I’m never going to think of it again. That makes it far more dull than bad, which isn’t necessarily a good thing.

Results

Rusev won a battle royal, last eliminating Jack Swagger

Nikki Bella b. Emma – Rack Attack

Ryback b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane interfered

New Day b. Curtis Axel/Slater Gator – Big Ending/Top rope DDT combination to Slater

Dolph Ziggler b. Luke Harper via countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – November 24, 2014: And We Take A Break

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 24, 2014
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

We’re coming off one of the most eventful main events in a very long time as Sting actually debuted last night after roughly thirteen years of waiting. Team Cena prevailed over Team Authority with Dolph Ziggler actually hanging on until the end after Cena was eliminated when Big Show turned heel. Again. Other than that we’ve got less than three weeks before TLC and what might be the main event is already set with Dean Ambrose set to face Bray Wyatt in a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Let’s get to it.

We open with the required recap of last night’s show.

Here’s the Authority to open things up because where would we be without them? Stephanie talks about how unfair last night was and blames the loss on Sting. They stand before you tonight as winners instead of losers because they still have corporate responsibilities. Stephanie starts crying and the fans chant YES. HHH knows there is no one here that could handle the Authority’s power.

We live in a universe governed by the laws of finance and commerce. They have to make decisions based on supply and demand, not what’s popular. Is Cena going to do that? Ziggler? Sting maybe? HHH doesn’t know why Sting did that last night but maybe he was trying to make his career relevant by standing in the ring with HHH for thirty seconds.

He goes into a speech from the end of A Few Good Men (almost word for word) before asking who makes the decisions now. There is no Cena, Ziggler or Ryback without the Authority and there is no WWE Universe. What are the fans going to do without Raw now? They can sit on a couch and live in their pathetic failures, because the Authority is going to leave now, but you all will beg for them to come back.

Cue Daniel Bryan of all people for one of the biggest YES chants this side of Wrestlemania. He doesn’t say anything but does the YES pose all the way up the aisle, right in the Authority’s face. That certainly woke the fans up and that’s exactly what you bring a guy like Bryan back for. Bryan stays in the ring as we go to a break.

Back from commercial with Bryan talking about how great it feels to be back in this ring tonight. It felt great to kick the Authority to the curb, but that brings him to Team Authority. As for tonight, Bryan is in charge of Raw and asks all of the losing members of Team Authority to come out here right now. Cole calls each member a loser because Cole doesn’t understand the meaning of the words “subtle” or “neutral”.

Bryan says he won’t be vindictive like the Authority so no titles are in danger and no one is being put in unfair matches. We’ll start with Rollins, who tonight gets to team with two superstars to face Cena and Ziggler. Rollins grabs a mic but it doesn’t work at first so we get some quick banter between him and Bryan.

Seth holds up the briefcase and says he’s still the future of this company. He thinks his partners will be something like Hornswoggle and El Torito or JBL and Cole. Bryan won’t be making the selections though. Instead, it’s in the WWE Universe’s hands. Daniel however, does get to pick the options. It will either be Mark Henry/Luke Harper, Mark Henry/Kane or the Stooges.

Bryan starts the voting as Rollins runs down the Stooges as being pretty bad at their job before storming off. Next up is Kane, who really shouldn’t be Director of Operations anymore. Bryan puts it up to the people and they give him a resounding NO. He won’t fire Kane but he will reassign him. Starting tonight, Kane is Director of Food and Drink, meaning he’ll be known as Concessions Kane. A guy brings out popcorn and hot dogs for Kane to carry throughout the night as we’re in comedy mode.

That brings us to Rusev and Lana. Bryan thinks the US Champion should be a bit more patriotic so he has some options. Rusev can either defend the title in a battle royal against the rest of the roster, or he can pledge allegiance to a big US flag in the middle of the ring. Lana freaks out as the crowd chants USA.

After they storm off, it’s Harper’s chance. He won the title last week with the help of the Stooges (“who you can vote for as Option C on the WWE App!”), but tonight he’s having to go it alone. Bryan needs an opponent for him though, so how about the Lunatic Fringe Dean Ambrose?

That leaves just Henry, who tries to leave before Bryan can do anything for him. Bryan was backstage when a big guy came up to him and asked for a favor. Naturally Bryan said yes because that’s his thing, so tonight a guy is going to get his chance to avenge his loss to Mark Henry a few years back at Wrestlemania, so tonight it’s Henry vs. Ryback. Bryan gave him the match because he’s running Raw tonight, and “THAT’S WHAT I DO!”

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Ryback jumps him from the aisle and sends Henry head first into the post. He drives Henry into the barricade a few times but referees pull him off as we go to a break without a bell. Back with the opening bell and Henry already staggered. He’s still able to knock Ryback down a few times but Ryback comes back with a spinebuster. The Meat Hook connects for the pin at 55 seconds.

HHH and Stephanie are walking through the back when they run into Vince. Stephanie apologizes for letting them down but Vince says he isn’t an angry man. He is however disappointed by the two of them coming up against insurmountable odds. Somehow, someway the two of them have to fix this though. Vince yells at Stephanie for being sorry because he’s never been sorry for a thing in his life. That might change when he has to spend Thanksgiving with them though. All three leave in a limo with Vince still ranting about sorry.

Intercontinental Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper

Luke hammers away to start and drives in some shots to the throat in the corner. Dean takes him right back down and drives in crossface shots to the nose. It’s off to the arm of all things with Harper in early trouble. Luke is sent to the floor for a big dive as we take a break. Back with Harper holding a chinlock but Dean fights up, only to be sent chest first into the buckle.

Ambrose fights back with right hands but his boot to the ribs is caught and Harper shoves it back, sending Dean face first onto the mat. After a quick chinlock, Harper sends him out to the floor yet again. Another whip sends Dean into the barricade but Ambrose comes back with a hard clothesline. They head back inside with Dean grabbing a rollup for two and a crossbody for the same.

Harper gets tied up in the ropes for the running dropkick, followed by the Fameasser to drive Harper face first into the mat for two. Dean hammers away until Harper grabs the sitout Boss Man Slam for two of his own. Ambrose breaks up a superplex attempt and hits his standing elbow drop, only to eat a superkick. That’s fine with Dean who hits the Rebound Clothesline for two more. The champ goes and gets his title but Dean hits the suicide dive to prevent him from walking out. Back in and Harper fights off Dirty Deeds until he shoves Dean into the referee…..for the DQ at 14:39.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get going but I liked that they didn’t just have Bray run in for the DQ like I was expecting. The ending was stupid but at least they kept both guys looking strong. Dean facing the former Wyatt Family is a good idea, though I’m glad they didn’t put the title on him. The feud doesn’t need to be for a belt.

Post match Dean gets a chair and hits Dirty Deeds before bringing in a table and ladder. Bray sneaks in through the crowd and lays him out though, including Sister Abigail on the floor.

Big E. New Day video.

Here are Santino Marella and Larry the Cable Guy with the latter in a mask, shorts and no shirt. Larry says he’s ready to go King Kong Bundy on someone but Santino says we’re not here to wrestle. He takes off the mask and apologizes for all the eye candy. Larry says he beat up Savage one night in Florida. Santino: “Randy Savage???” Larry: “No, Fred.” The Cable Guy says he’s a fan of Steve Austin and says he’d be Stone Cold Creamery (Cold Stone Creamery is an ice cream store chain). Cue Goldust and Stardust to get in Larry’s face and that’s it.

Tag Team Titles: Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust

Miz/Mizdow are defending and Mizdow has toy titles again. Stardust slams Miz to start but misses an elbow. Miz tries to tag out but Stardust takes him into the corner for a chest rake. It’s off to Goldust for an atomic drop, meaning Mizdow comes in to mock an atomic drop of his own. Miz dives into a punch to the ribs and Stardust breaks up another tag attempt by knocking Miz to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Stardust in control of Miz until a jawbreaker puts both guys down. The hot tag brings in Mizdow to clean house to a big reaction. He nails a quick Reality Check on Stardust and actually nips up. Stardust snaps his throat across the top though and things slow down again with Goldust holding a chinlock as a trainer checks on Miz.

A powerslam gets two on Mizdow and Stardust’s release gordbuster gets the same. Miz is telling the trainer to stay off the face as Mizdow makes his comeback and puts Starudst in the Figure Four, only to have Goldust make the save. Mizdow sends him outside but Miz makes a blind tag and hits the Skull Crushing Finale on Stardust to retain at 10:16.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much but it continues the story as we get closer to Mizdow’s face turn. It would be nice if he started backing up the character in the ring and we got a glimpse of that tonight. Nothing great here but I’m glad they didn’t change the titles back just a night later.

The concessions manager yells at Kane and puts him in charge of chips.

Lana says this isn’t fair, just like America. Daniel Bryan pops up on screen and gives him them the same options, but gives us a supervisor to make sure it works well. Cue Sgt. Slaughter as the big flag comes down. Sarge leads them in the Pledge but Rusev won’t bring himself to do it. Rusev stands there for awhile and finally throws the mic down. It’s time to fight and Slaughter takes off the hat but Jack Swagger comes in for the save. This story again?

Kane gives fans food when Santino and Larry show up in line. Santino winds up wearing mustard and Larry gets a hot dog because Kane is a fan.

Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel

Rematch of the pre-show match last night. Fandango hits a hard elbow to the jaw to start but Justin knocks him off the top rope. A big clothesline flips Justin inside out though as Rosa looks on from ringside. The top rope legdrop ends Gabriel at 1:57.

Here’s a smiling Big Show in a suit for his explanation about last night. He wants to make sure everything is cool because he saw a lot of things online that didn’t sit well with him. Last night he did some things and now people see him as a bad guy. In reality he’s a human being who made a mistake.

Surely everyone has done that before though, so the people should be able to forgive him. He has a medical condition that makes him this big, but on the inside he’s a person just like us. Last night he saw John Cena vulnerable and did what he thought he had to do. Big Show is sure that everyone can forgive him because he wouldn’t have done that if he knew Team Cena was going to win anyway. He’s been putting his body on the line for the last twenty years and maybe the fans owe him this one.

The fans say he sold out and Big Show gets angry in a hurry. He’s heard all those people in the back that are calling him a coward and wants one of them to come out right now. Cue Erick Rowan, who Show calls an upside down Sheamus. Show could understand if this was John Cena or someone, but Erick Rowan? He mocks Rowan a bit before Rowan takes off the mask. That earns Erick a warning to leave before he gets hurt but Rowan says he doesn’t like bullies and the fight is on. Show is quickly knocked to the floor and he breaks the steps before leaving.

The Stooges come up to Rollins in the back and are both about a foot shorter. Ziggler comes in and says he’s asked his 1.4 million Twitter followers to vote for the Stooges.

Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee

AJ comes out with the mic and says Nikki has turned the title into a new accessory. As for Brie, “lesbihonest”, she’s an even bigger skank than her sister. Nikki offers a quick distraction so Brie can nail a hard clothesline for two. We hit a hammerlock for a bit before AJ fights up for a quick Shining Wizard for two. Nikki shouts about Brie Mode and another distraction lets Brie grab a rollup for the pin at 3:22.

Rating: D. The Bellas continue to drag down whatever segment they’re in. I know WWE thinks we care about them because they’re on a reality show but for the love of all things good and holy they’re just another pair of lame Divas. Yeah they’ve had their moments, but they’re treated like the second coming of Trish and Lita and it just doesn’t work.

AJ yells at the Bellas post match and says talent is not sexually transmitted.

Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Tyson Kidd/Natalya

Larry the Cable Guy and Santino are on commentary to dance with the Bunny. Rose grabs him by the ears and throws him into the ring for some yelling. Rose tags out to the Bunny tos tart and it’s time for comedy. The Bunny hits a quick middle rope dropkick and stomps on Tyson in the corner. Tyson finally smacks the Bunny in the face before it’s off to Natalya….who immediately tags back to Tyson. Jerry explains the idea of the match (both teams are having relationship problems) as Ada gets two off a spinebuster. The Bunny trips Rose by mistake and Kidd hooks a rollup for the pin at 3:58.

Rating: D. We’re to the point now where there’s only so much more they can do before they unmask the Bunny. That being said, there needs to be a good reveal and I’m really not sure who is going to be a big enough deal. Larry and Santino were just kind of there and have to do stuff like this for promoting a DVD and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Ryback wants to find the concession stand.

New Day video with all three together. They’re debuting next week.

Ryback shows up to the concession stand and asks for two cans of tuna, a protein shake and a can of beef jerkey. Kane throws a hot dog at him instead so Ryback shoves the table into him. The Big Red Machine throws popcorn and ketchup at him and leaves. Ryback throws a bag of nuts at Kane and that’s it. Funny right?

Cena is in the back with Ziggler and praises Dolph for his win last night. Ziggler says he promised to find a way to survive and that’s exactly what he did. However, it took a miracle in the form of the man called Sting. Cena thanks Sting and Ziggler for changing history and giving the fans all the power. They’re going to steal the show tonight.

John Cena/Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins/???/???

Bryan comes out before the match to introduce Rollins and the partners. In a vote closer than I was expecting, the Stooges win with 93% of the vote. They come out in their suits and it’s time to fight. Noble starts with Cena but Rollins makes him take his tie off. The look on Rollins’ face is hysterical as Cena lets Noble grab a headlock. Mercury comes in and runs the ropes, only to accidentally knock his partner down. Seth has to break up an AA attempt and they go outside for a breather as we take a break.

Back with Cena in a bit of trouble until Noble misses a charge into the post. The hot tag brings in Ziggler for some clotheslines and the running DDT to Noble, but a Mercury distraction lets Rollins nail him to take over. Back to Noble for a slam and a legdrop for two. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Ziggler pops up with a dropkick. Mercury comes in and allows the hot tag to Cena as house is cleaned. Everything breaks down and the Stooges try to save Rollins. This earns them a whip into each other and an AA and Zig Zag for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: D. Yeah it was bad but what else are you expecting here? Rollins not getting pinned is fine but the match really wasn’t anything to see. Cena and Ziggler beating up the Stooges is fine, even if a bit boring. This was a dull way to end a dull show though and I really didn’t care.

Bryan throws Rollins into the ring for a superkick and AA of his own. Posing looks to end the show…..but we have an e-mail from the general manager. The fans groan as Cole says the line. The party is officially over because next week is Cyber Monday when order and discipline return to Raw. The e-mail sound goes off over and over to close the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Tonight wasn’t very good but it really wasn’t supposed to be anything big. This was the show taking a night off after such a big show last night and while it’s annoying, its kind of necessary as we’re setting up the mostly meaningless TLC show before the Rumble season begins. The show wasn’t much to see but nothing on it was all that terrible. That’s more than I can say about Raw a lot of the time so we’ll call this one a dull effort.

Results

Ryback b. Mark Henry – Meat Hook

Luke Harper b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Ambrose hit the referee

Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Goldust/Stardust – Skull Crushing Finale to Stardust

Fandango b. Justin Gabriel – Top rope legdrop

Brie Bella b. AJ Lee – Rollup

Tyson Kidd/Natalya b. Adam Rose/The Bunny – Rollup to Rose

Dolph Ziggler/John Cena b. Seth Rollins/Jamie Noble/Joey Mercury – Zig Zag to Mercury

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – November 17, 2014: 18 Men On A Free PPV. Yo Ho Ho And A Grumpy Cat

Monday Night Raw
Date: November 17, 2014
Location: Berglund Center Coliseum, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

We’re back stateside now for the go home show for Survivor Series. The big story tonight is a contract signing for the main event where we’re most likely to find out who the final members of each team are going to be. More importantly than that though, we have the Grumpy Cat here tonight because there’s an untapped audience between Lifetime and WWE. Or something. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Survivor Series partner shuffle.

Here’s the Authority, including Harper, to open things up. HHH brings up Vince making the rules for the Survivor Series in case we hadn’t heard about it in the last few weeks. HHH doesn’t care for the idea of being the employee of someone like the people in the audience. Instead he’s supposed to be someone like Vince McMahon, running the evil empire.

These people would rather have the inmates like Cena and Ziggler running the asylum. The last place that let the inmates run the asylum was WCW and that will NEVER happen in WWE. HHH looks at the team and says they can’t lose while plugging the Network. Stephanie thinks Team Cena should work on being together. HHH says Team Cena will be decimated before the contract signing at the end of the night.

The wife runs through the team again and says Team Cena is down a member. That brings her to Ryback but the Big Guy cuts them off. Ryback says the Authority wants what’s best for business, Cena wants what’s best for the people but Ryback wants what’s best for him. Stephanie gets that idea and brings up respect. It’s clear that Cena doesn’t respect Ryback so why does he want to join the team?

She throws us a clip from Superstars last year where Cena said Ryback had no brains or testicular fortitude. Then a clip from Raw where Cena mocked his way of speaking. Back live, Stephanie suggests that Cena is jealous of Ryback and absolutely hates him. She asks if he wants to team with someone like Cena, but Ryback says he’s his own team and leaves. HHH says that’s a good idea and makes Ziggler vs. Harper right now.

Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler

After a break this is now a title match. During the Big Match Intros, the Stooges come in to jump Ziggler and a briefcase shot from Rollins knocks him cold. Ziggler is holding his head on the mat but says ring the bell. The bell rings and Luke kicks him in the head for two. A Batista Bomb gets the same but Luke misses a big boot in the corner and falls out to the floor as we take another break.

Back with Ziggler escaping a vertical suplex but getting popped in the jaw for two. There’s the Gator Roll and we hit a chinlock. Ziggler fights up and nails a Fameasser for two but Harper counters the superkick into a sitout Boss Man Slam for another near fall. Luke charges into the superkick for two more but comes back with the discus lariat for the pin and the title at 8:33.

Rating: C. Harper’s hard hitting offense continues to look awesome and it’s a good sign that he’s finally getting a singles push of his own. I can’t imagine him ever becoming a huge star but the Intercontinental Title is a good start. They almost had to take the belt off Ziggler after all the stuff they’ve thrown at him and this is the best option out of all the Authority members. Ziggler is even protected a bit because of the pre-match attack.

Ziggler takes a Curb Stomp post match.

The announcers plug the free PPV.

Kofi Kingston New Day video.

Miz and Mizdow pitch a movie idea to the Grumpy Cat. They even have a grumpy stuntcat. The Cat doesn’t care and Miz storms off, only to come back and apologize. One of these men used to be an intellectual savior to the masses people.

Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd

The Bunny does Rose’s fall onto the Rosebuds to make Adam even angrier. JBL seems annoyed by the suggestion that the Bunny is a man in a costume. Kidd hammers away to start but walks into a spinebuster for two. The Bunny hits on Natalya, allowing Tyson to slap on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:00.

Post match the Bunny goes after Adam and thrusts his hips behind Rose.  Just go with it.

Video of Wrestlemania tickets going on sale.

Bray Wyatt is here and after a break he’s in the ring to talk about the lies he’s been told about money buying happiness. He’s been told that a man like Dean Ambrose can buy happiness but Dean is going to be alone day after day. Bray hopes that Dean doesn’t mistake his generosity for something malignant. Yeah Bray did something to get Dean’s attention, but now he comes in peace. That momentary suffering was a gift though because Bray knows the pain Dean is going through.

His mother drowned herself in her own misery and his father left him in a lifetime of isolation. Wyatt says he can save him but Dean pops up on screen. He calls Bray’s ramblings nails on a chalkboard, but he’s been trying to see things Bray’s way. Maybe he can learn something from Bray. He’s already learned a magic trick called video recording, because he’s in the arena right now. The lights come on and Ambrose hammers on Bray, sending him running up the ramp. At Survivor Series, Bray needs to worry about saving himself.

We recap the title change and hear that Ziggler has been taken to a hospital.

Larry the Cable Guy is hosting Raw next week because WWE thinks it’s 2006.

Ryback vs. Cesaro

Ryback powers him into the corner to start and chops away but Cesaro takes him down with a quick suplex. Ryback shrugs it off and hits a delayed suplex of his own. The Thesz press and head slams have Ryback in trouble but Cesaro powerbombs him out of the corner to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit on Ryback before a slam and kick to the head get two. Back up and Ryback gets clotheslined out to the floor as we take a break.

We come back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock and catching Cesaro with a belly to belly suplex. Cesaro bails to the apron to avoid the Meat Hook but gets thrown right back in. The middle rope splash connects and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two for Ryback. Shell Shock is countered into rolling Germans for two and Cesaro goes up top.

A big elbow drop gets two more but Ryback pops up with a powerslam for two of his own. The Meat Hook is countered with the uppercut and Swiss Death gets an even closer two. The Neutralizer is countered into a Shell Shock attempt which is countered into a rollup for two more. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin at 14:16.

Rating: B. While it’s not as good as the announcers made it out to be, this was one heck of a power match with some solid near falls. Ryback is able to have a decent match if he’s given the right circumstances and someone like Cesaro is a good opponent for him. I wouldn’t mind seeing Cesaro win a bit more often but you can’t have Ryback lose this early in his return.

Cena hopes he sees all of his team members at the contract signing tonight. Ryback doesn’t seem to be part of those plans though.

Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. Lana brings up Putin being disrespected at the G20 Summit but stops to say SHUT UP a lot. This past week, America drooled over the queen of social media Kim Kardashian, even though no American can compare to Lana. She has a topless photo of her own to show us, but of course it’s of Putin on a horse. This brings out……Heath Slater dressed as Uncle Sam. Like the rest of America, Slater wants Lana to shut up. The spirit of America flows through all of us, including this country boy right here.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Superkick, Accolade, 36 seconds.

Miz pitches a buddy comedy to Grumpy Cat. Erick Rowan comes up saying here kitty kitty. He wants the cat, meaning the stuffed one Mizdow is holding. Everyone stands around looking confused. JBL: “…..ok?”

Big Show comes out for a match but gets interrupted by Stephanie’s horrible music. She talks about watching the Monday Night War and seeing Big Show billed as Andre the Giant’s son. Big Show has always been in someone’s shadow, even though he just wants to be in the main event. The people can’t fix that but the Authority can. Thankfully they don’t offer him the usual but instead suggest that he could enter the Hall of Fame next year.

Big Show says no but here’s Sheamus to interrupt. He’s glad to be on Team Cena and will love to only see HHH and Stephanie when they buy tickets. Stephanie laughs because there was an issue with Sheamus’ passport and he’s in danger of being deported. Not that it matters though as Sheamus vs. Big Show are fighting right now. The winner will have a chance to win the World Title at some point in the future.

Big Show vs. Sheamus

They shove each other around to start and Big Show nails some chops in the corner. Sheamus gets thrown to the floor and then over the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chokeslam attempt by hitting the ten forearms to a kneeling Big Show. A kick to the face and knee drop get two on the giant but he blocks a slam and comes back with some of his own. Show puts on a Haas of Pain but Sheamus is right next to the ropes.

The pale one starts his comeback with an ax handle and avoids a legdrop. He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets speared out of the air for a close two. White Noise (that’s always cool to see on Big Show) and a chokeslam get two each. Show loads up the Vader Bomb but gets caught in an electric chair to put both guys down. Cue Rusev and Henry for the no contest (even though Rusev hit Sheamus first so it should be a DQ but rules that have been the same throughout wrestling history don’t count when writers don’t need them to count) at 11:08.

Rating: C-. This was the usual decent power match between these two but you could see the ending coming the entire way. As soon as they said the winner gets a title shot you knew no one was getting their hand raised for this match. That ending gets on my nerves though as Sheamus should have won via DQ because just having Henry and Rusev get in at the same time was too complicated.

Rusev Accoldes Big Show as Sheamus takes the World’s Strongest Slam through the table.

Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella

Brie is dressed like AJ and this is an exhibition match. The real AJ comes out to watch but Nikki needs to warm up first. Some backbreakers have Brie in trouble but she finally gets annoyed and shoves Nikki away. That earns her some slaps to the head before Nikki loads up the Rack Attack. AJ gets on the apron, allowing Brie to grab a rollup pin at 2:06.

Nikki goes after Brie post match but AJ makes the save. Brie starts a YES chant and gets beaten up by the champ. I have no idea why this was an exhibition match.

Big E.’s New Day video.

Cena tries to get Ryback again but he isn’t happy with those insults.  John apologizes for the comments and says if Ryback helps, the Authority is gone.  Ryback says he’s Team Ryback and asks Cena to leave.  Cena calls him selfish and thinks Ryback doesn’t want to take a risk.

We recap Ambrose and Wyatt from earlier.

Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos/Los Matadores

Setting up this Sunday’s four way tag. Diego stops Miz early on for OLE before putting him across the middle rope for a running crotch attack. The fans want a tag to Mizdow but get Goldust instead, only to have Diego fire off some chops in the corner. Los Matadores hit a double hiptoss to Miz, sending him rolling out to the floor. Mizdow comes in and flips himself over before rolling outside as well. Los Matadores dive onto Goldust/Stardust and Torito dives on the actors as we take a break.

Back with Goldust sending Fernando shoulder first into the post. Stardust comes in for a double stomp as the fans STILL want Mizdow. Instead they get an armbar from Stardust so the fans chant for JBL. Back to Miz for a chinlock before Goldust comes in to work on the arm. Mizdow holds out his arm and Goldust is ready to bring him in but Stardust steals the tag instead. Back to Miz who FINALLY tags in Mizdow, only to tag himself back in a few seconds later.

Fernando kicks Miz out to the floor as Jerry says Drew Carrey is in Dumb and Dumber. Fernando tags in Jimmy but Jey tags himself in as the Usos clean house. The double dive takes down some heels until it’s Jimmy hitting a release Samoan drop on Stardust. The Rikishi attack connects but Jimmy charges into a Goldust powerslam. We start the parade of finishers and Jimmy superkicks Diego by mistake before walking into Dark Matter for the pin at 11:48.

Rating: D+. The match was dull but it’s interesting to see that they’re setting up Mizdow’s face turn when he finally gets tired of never getting the spotlight. The fans are buying into it too and everything works. Unfortunately this match has no heat as we head into the show because the main event has swallowed the whole thing.

The Cat is not pleased.

Sheamus has been taken to the hospital and is out of Survivor Series.

After Raw, you can see a preview of the new Randy Savage DVD on the Network.

Here’s the Authority for the contract signing. HHH says Cena is going to come out here and talk about how important this business is to him but it’s nothing compared to what it means for the Authority. This is the air they breathe and they will not lose on Sunday. Stephanie invites Team Cena to come out here and here’s John by himself.

Cena says they’ll win but Stephanie laughs it off and asks what army is going to help him. She tells him to wake up but Cena says don’t get used to giving any orders because the Authority is losing on Sunday. All night long there have been underhanded tricks to take out Team Cena, except for one man. He sees what’s going on: they come out here every week and put people to sleep but claim to know what’s best for business.

Cena is going to have a team on Sunday, even if he has to pick four people out of the crowd. John goes outside and walks around, asking if there are four people that can join him Sunday. There’s a man dressed as a nun, a guy with a sailor’s hat and two kids. Those four would have more passion than the Authority and that’s why Cena’s team is going to win. Cena offers us a preview for tonight and sits down in a chair.

Kane is going to be the first and then Luke Harper will fail. He’s from the swamp so he’ll be used to swamping in his pants. Rusev is next and HHH will start sweating through his suit while Stephanie is vomiting. When they wake up they’ll be hungry so Cena can feed them Sexual Chocolate. Cena gets in the ring and says the Golden Boy with a thing for latex will fall last and HHH will be left cleaning toilets. Stephanie slaps Cena and it’s time to fight.

Cena gets ready but Ziggler and Big Show limp out to stand next to John. Lawler: “80% of a team is better than no team at all!” HHH counts the people but here’s….ERICK ROWAN to help balance things out? Stephanie doesn’t know what to do but says there’s still one spot open. She gives Team Cena one last chance to reconsider but here’s Cesaro of all people….to stand with the Authority.

Stephanie asks if there are any more surprises so here’s Ryback and it really is on. Well that makes most of tonight pointless but it makes the most sense. Everyone brawls to the floor until it’s HHH and Ryback in the ring. They stare each other down until Cena comes back in to AA HHH through a table. Team Cena poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was rough and a lot of that is due to how they’re building up Survivor Series. I’m sure they’ll add some stuff the night of the show or maybe on Smackdown, but right now there are four matches announced for Sunday and two of them are taking up 18 names, assuming they don’t get thrown into other matches for some reason.

The problem right now is everything is put in the main event and while it’s a good story, it’s not enough to carry three hours. Tying everything of note up in one match is never a good idea and it’s going to make the rest of the card feel empty. They should have gone with four on four and had at least one other major match for Sunday, but to be fair it is free so it’s going to be hard to care about.

The worst part about it is the main event on Sunday is a well built match. They have a big match and have made it unclear as to who is going to win. However, when that’s what 80% of Raw is about, it’s a very hard show to sit through. Having ten guys in a single match was too much, but maybe they’ll mix things up on Sunday.

This show really didn’t do much for me but it could have been far worse. Thankfully the Grumpy Cat was just there for a few backstage bits, but that begs the question: is it worth bringing him in and paying however much it cost and all the eye rolling from your base to do some quick gags? I could ask the same for next Monday with Larry the Cable Guy (seriously, it’s 2014) but they have enough problems on Sunday already.

Results

Luke Harper b. Dolph Ziggler – Discus lariat

Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter

Ryback b. Cesaro – Shell Shock

Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade

Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Rusev and Mark Henry interfered

Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos/Los Matadores – Dark Matter to Jimmy

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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