Wrestling Challenge
Date: November 1, 1986
Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

These shows continue to be easy watches and are making me want to see some of the live events where the feuds are blown off. That means they’re doing something right and I could go for seeing more of this stuff to see if they can keep it up in the short term. That’s tricky to do so let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s what’s coming this week.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Billy Jack Haynes

Savage, with Elizabeth, is defending and commentary points out how rare it is to a title match on TV, which is rather true. Haynes shrugs off a wristlock to start and grabs a headlock. That’s broken up and Savage sends him hard into the buckle for two. Haynes fights up and hits a clothesline, setting up the full nelson. Savage swings and hits the referee, who calls for the DQ and the bell at 4:55.

Rating: C. Not much to see here, with the biggest story being the crooked referee. That is something that could go rather big if done properly and they seem to be on their way. Haynes could have been just about anyone in the role as Savage could work well with everybody. It wasn’t much of a match, but at least it moved a bigger story forward.

Post match Davis clarifies that Hayes swung Savage into him so Savage wins. Monsoon: “IT WAS SNEAKY!”

We get a Wrestlers’ Rebuttal from Hulk Hogan, who knows the fans believe in him. Orndorff is the one in the wrong and the fans want Hogan to destroy him.

Islanders vs. Mike Sharpe/Terry Gibbs

Gibbs and Tama start things off with Tama knocking him down. The insert promo from the Dream Team talks about how the Islanders are supposed to play hockey. Everything breaks down and Sharpe takes over on Tama, with a double back elbow putting him down. It’s off to Haku to clean house, including planting Sharpe. A top rope splash gives Tama the pin at 2:55.

Davey Boy Smith introduces Matilda, who we’ve already met. Dynamite Kid comes in to say they’re ready for any team, including the Dream Team.

George Steele tried to order fast food but could only say EAT. Well yeah.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik/Hercules Hernandez vs. Lanny Poffo/SD Jones/Corporal Kirschner

Slick is here with the villains. Poffo does not like the Soviet National Anthem and reads a poem about how we should chant USA. Jones hammers on Volkoff to start and hands it off to Poffo to pull on the arm. Slick talks about how Hercules is going to win the WWF Title as Kirschner comes in, only to get suplexed by Sheik. Hernandez grabs the backbreaker (torture rack) for the submission at 1:23. I would have bet on Jones taking the fall there.

The Killer Bees think they deserve a Tag Team Title shot. B. Brian Blair is excited about an upcoming youth amateur wrestling tournament in his hometown. Nothing wrong with that.

Hart Foundation vs. Pedro Morales/Tito Santana

Jimmy Hart is here with the Harts. Neidhart knees Santana in the ribs to start but Santana is back up with a quick dropkick. Jimmy trips Santana down and we get an insert promo from Jimmy talking about how he would NEVER use the megaphone to cheat. Morales comes in and gets caught in the wrong corner, allowing for some assisted choking. A backdrop gets Morales out of trouble and it’s off to Santana as everything breaks down. They all fight to the floor and it’s a double countout at 2:52. That’s a surprise for the Harts, who were quite the up and coming team.

We’re off to the Snake Pit with Jake Roberts saying this is a special week for him. He brings out quite the big deal guest with Roddy Piper, who gets to join the NEW Pit. Piper makes it clear that he doesn’t like either kind of snake (meaning Damien and/or Roberts) but Roberts wants him to touch Damien. With that not happening, Piper decks Roberts and leaves.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Tiger Chung Lee/Barry O

Raymond works on a top wristlock with O to start before they both miss elbow drops. Dino Bravo pops in to say he’s the only worthwhile Canadian wrestler and the Rougeaus make him sick to his stomach. Lee comes in to take over on Jacques as Heenan asks which Rougeau is in the ring. Monsoon: “That’s Jacques.” Heenan: “Who cares?” Raymond comes back in and Le Bombe de Rougeau finishes O at 1:55.

Jack Tunney announces that the company is officially looking into Danny Davis’ ability to referee.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Moondog Rex

Steamboat grabs a headlock to start but Rex powers up and sends him into the corner. A quick rollup out of said corner gives Steamboat the pin at 1:25. Well that was short.

The Dream Team want the Tag Team Titles back and do not like being compared to dogs. Valentine: “WE’RE THE DREAM TEAM! WE’VE GOT DOLLS MADE OF US!” Valentine goes on a rant about how the Bulldogs are going to have to deal with them and the titles are changing.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

Roll those highlights.

Overall Rating: C+. There were some weird choices for the decisions on here but the talent alone made it work. This show had appearances or matches from Randy Savage, the British Bulldogs, the Hart Foundation, Ricky Steamboat, Roddy Piper, Ricky Steamboat and more. That is an absolute murderers row of talent and just seeing them do basic matches is a lot of fun in a short span. It might not have been a great show, but it was nice to see all of these people in one place.

 

 

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Wrestling Challenge
Date: October 18, 1986
Location: War Memorial, Rochester, New York
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We’re back to this after nearly two years away and while that should usually make for some slight confusion, it isn’t like there is much to remember around here. We are on the way to pretty much nothing right now, but there are enough feuds to keep things interesting. I’ve always liked this show so odds are I’ll have a good time with it again. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s who to expect on the show.

Koko B. Ware vs. Steve Lombardi

During his entrance, Ware talks about the importance of Frankie, who Heenan wants in a back of Shane N Bake. Lombardi tries a quick takedown and gets blocked, sending Monsoon and Heenan into a funny argument over Ware’s intelligence or lack thereof. Ware claps a lot and sends Lombardi shoulder first into the post. An elbow to the face sets up the Ghostbuster (brainbuster) to give Ware the pin at 2:38. The smash cut to a closeup of Frankie the bird’s face is quite jarring.

We go to Wrestlers’ Rebuttal, with Roddy Piper comparing Don Muraco and Bob Orton to various pests, such as flies and roaches. Muraco would need a surfboard the size of the Bismark to get him into the water and just hurting Piper’s knee isn’t going to get rid of him. Not much time here but Piper got in some good lines as usual.

We go to a spa where Paul Orndorff gets his hair and nails done, along with a shoe shine because he demands perfection. As you might guess, he isn’t overly polite, even as he’s having his sneakers shined. The ranting and raving goes on for quite awhile.

Paul Orndorff vs. Tony Parks

Bobby Heenan is with Orndorff, who has the stolen real American theme in one of my favorite angles that needs to be brought back. Johnny V joins in on commentary and likes Orndorff having the song because it’s just such a perfect fit. Orndorff starts fast with a suplex and stomps away. The beating goes to the floor before a clotheslines drops Parks back inside. The piledriver finishes (with a hand to the ear on the cover) for Orndorff at 1:25.

Tito Santana wants to see Roddy Piper against either Don Muraco or Bob Orton. After speaking some Spanish to his fans, Santana promises to keep coming after Randy Savage and the Intercontinental Title.

Dick Slater vs. Bob Bradley

Yeah it’s the Rebel Dick Slater, which went as well as you would expect. Especially in a northern state like New York. Slater takes him into the corner to start but possibly crooked referee Danny Davis breaks it up. We get an inset interview from Davis (as luck would have it), where he says he doesn’t care about all the letters fans are sending in to criticize his abilities. What do they know about refereeing? A small package gives Slater two and Bradley tries a crossbody, with Slater ducking to send Bradley flying over the top in a great visual. Slater suplexes him down and hits a top rope elbow to the head for the pin at 3:02.

Rating: C-. Slater just had nothing to make him stand out in this role. He’s usually good when he’s more of a crazy evil southern/country boy but here he’s just a generic good guy with a rebel flag jacket. It’s not interesting and there’s no way around it, which was on display here. It’s a bad sign when the most memorable moment is a jobber missing a crossbody and crashing to the floor, but it’s more interesting than anything Slater was doing.

The Rougeau Brothers are still undefeated and want the Tag Team Titles. Jacques throws in some French for some flavor. Apparently he said he’s glad to meet French speaking fans on the road because that’s their native language.

Dream Team vs. Rick Hunter/Jerry Allen

Johnny V is here with the Dream Team as Valentine slams Allen down to start. We get an insert interview from V about being friends with Bobby Heenan, just in case you needed his evilness confirmed. Beefcake comes in to shrug off Hunter’s forearms and hit a powerslam. An elbow sets up the Figure Four to finish Hunter at 2:39.

And now, the Snake Pit. Jake Roberts says this is his place at his time so welcome to the theater of the cruel but fair. The guest if Junkyard Dog, who isn’t interested in being around snakes. Roberts accuses him of being superstitious and they argue about a potential match. Dog says the only things anyone is going to make him do is stay Black and die. He’s still done with the snake and we’re done after a kind of weird argument.

Sika vs. Jose Luis Rivera

Sika has the Wizard with him and jumps Rivera to start fast. Some forearms to the back set up a chinlock as Wizard gets an insert promo about….a shark’s tooth? The chinlock goes on again but Rivera fights up. A dropkick has no effect though and a running headbutt gives Sika the win at 2:07.

We meet the British Bulldogs’ new mascot Matilda, with Bobby Heenan coming up to insult her. The Bulldogs threaten Heenan with the removal of his leg and he’s gone.

British Bulldogs vs. Rudy Diamond/Steve Regal

Non-title and as always, no not that Regal. I’m not sure why Diamond doesn’t get a name graphic. Some headbutts rock Regal to start and a snap suplex takes him down again. Diamond comes in and gets taken down just as fast, with Kid dropping a knee. The running powerslam connects but Regal makes the save. That earns him a fireman’s carry and Kid comes in with a headbutt off Regal’s back for the pin at 2:16. Total squash.

Slick talks about his newest signee, Butch Reed, who will be a great addition to his team. Nikolai Volkoff and the Iron Sheik come in to pose as well. They want the Tag Team Titles and more posing ensues.

Here’s what’s coming next week.

The usual highlight package wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C-. Not one of their more thrilling shows this week, as the people featured were only so interesting. Granted it helps when the card is full of squashes as it allows more wrestlers to get on the show, but 45 minutes of such matches are only going to get you so far. The Orndorff and Piper stuff was good, but that shouldn’t be a surprise in the slightest. Still though, this stuff is such a breeze compared to everything else as it’s such a different style than modern wrestling, which makes it a great change of pace.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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WWF House Show
Date: April 22, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Gene Okerlund

This is one of those random house shows that was put up on the WWE Vault channel and there is a good chance that it was put up forty years to the day. We are just a few weeks after the first Wrestlemania and that means it is time for the fairly unexplored fallout period from the then biggest show of all time. Let’s get to it.

Junior Heavyweight Title: The Cobra vs. Barry O

Cobra is defending but doesn’t have the belt here, which has commentary confused. O (short for Orton, and he has a nephew named Randy) jumps him to start fast, with a slam and jumping elbow getting two. Cobra gets sent outside, followed by a neck crank back inside. A running in place powerslam gives O two and we pause for O to grab his own head. Cobra breaks out of a front facelock and slugs away, setting up a slam int a legdrop for two.

O kicks his way out of a sunset flip but gets caught in a headscissors, which has Monsoon annoyed at the referee for checking for a choke. That’s broken up and O hammers away, only to get backdropped into an armbar. As commentary talks about the various champions and contenders, O breaks out but gets caught with a top rope forearm to the head. A middle rope knee gives Cobra two but O gets in a shot of his own.

O’s rope walk splash misses and Cobra just starts slugging away with forearms, setting up a jumping spinwheel kick (that was a big spot in this era). A stomp to the stomach has O bailing to the floor for a needed breather before coming inside to beg for mercy. O grabs the leg for a spinning toehold but Cobra is right back up with another spinning kick. A dropkick puts O on the floor, setting up the slingshot dive. Cobra suplexes him back inside but misses a top rope backsplash. Back up and Cobra grabs a jumping hurricanrana for the pin to retain at 13:20.

Rating: B. Oh man this was starting to get really good in the end but they went home when they should have. The biggest issue here was the clash of styles, as Cobra was wrestling a more lucha style match while O was your traditional heel. Cobra was WAY different than almost anything you would see here and O kept up with him as well as he could. This was a lot of fun and WAY better than I would have expected.

Tatsumi Fujinami vs. Matt Borne

You know, because we needed another big international star. Fujinami isn’t interested in a handshake to start so they fight over a lockup and go to the ropes. Some forearms have Borne down as commentary talks about Fujinami’s footwork. A headlock takeover lets Fujinami crank on him a bit, with Borne getting up. Fujinami backflips out of a suplex and we’re right back to the headlock takeover.

Back up and some shots to the face have Fujinami in trouble for a change, allowing Borne to yell at the referee. The chinlock goes on, allowing Borne to yell at commentary for a change. The choking continues so commentary talks about Jack Nicholson (Okerlund: “One of the biggest athletic supporters in southern California.”). Fujinami fights up, only to get pulled back into a headscissors as I’m not sure if this is the best way to use his talents.

Borne cranks away for a bit before hammering away in the corner. A front facelock keeps the bored fans all the more bored, as does Borne cutting off the comeback attempt. Fujinami finally fights out of a chinlock and hits a dropkick for two. A clothesline puts Borne down again and a bridging German suplex finishes him off at 11:31.

Rating: D+. Gah what was that? This was the clash of styles I was expecting in the opener and it was rough to see as a result. Borne was wrestling a basic style and didn’t let Fujinami do much of anything. You’re only going to get so much out of any legend when you have Borne holding him in a front facelock for so long and it killed anything they could do here.

Jimmy Hart is ready for King Kong Bundy to wreck Swede Hanson. Bundy says Hanson is tough but he’ll look small when they’re in the ring. Then it’s time for Hulk Hogan.

Swede Hanson vs. King Kong Bundy

Hanson is a big guy from North Carolina. They fight over a lockup to start as we hear about Bundy’s nine second win at Wrestlemania, because timing isn’t wrestling’s strong suit. Hanson gets in a shot of his own to rock Bundy and the fans rather approve. Back up and Hanson is rocked with a running forearm but he comes back with a forearm to stagger Bundy again.

Bundy rakes the eyes though and slowly hammers away before sending Hanson face first into the buckle. The slow beating continues as commentary lists off the reasons this company is so awesome. Hanson starts Hulking Up (as Monsoon puts it) and some chops put Bundy in the corner. That’s cut off by a quick Avalanche into a big elbow to give Bundy the pin at 4:38.

Rating: C-. While still not a good match, this was Hanson making Bundy sweat a bit more before Bundy put him away. You could clearly see that Bundy was being built up for something bigger down the line and that would probably be someone in red and yellow. Having him beat various people over and over would build him up and that’s what we saw here.

British Bulldogs vs. Rene Goulet/Johnny Rodz

This is the Bulldogs’ MSG debut as the new generation is coming in. Rodz and Kid start things off but we pause for Goulet to do his thing with his glove. Actually Goulet starts and they lock up after nearly a minute of shenanigans. Kid’s headscissors doesn’t get him very far so he spins around into an armbar to take Goulet down instead. Smith comes in and actually gets shouldered down before Rodz throws her over the top.

Back up and Smith hits a quick dropkick before a knee to the ribs cuts him off again. Kid comes in with a missile dropkick for the save (that didn’t look great) into a nipup (that looked better), followed by a gutwrench suplex for two. Rodz breaks up the chinlock and Goulet comes back in for a knee drop. Kid avoids a diving headbutt though and it’s back to Smith, who is taken down as well.

Rodz elbows Smith down but misses a legdrop, meaning the vertical suplex can connect for two. It’s back to Goulet, who grabs a test of strength on the mat, only to get monkey flipped away. Smith muscles Rodz up for the running powerslam and then fireman’s carries Goulet. Kid climbs onto Goulet’s back and hits a top rope headbutt to pin Rodz at 8:12.

Rating: B-. Not a great match, but you could tell the Bulldogs needed some better opponents. They were a great example of a team with a nice balance of power and speed and it worked well. The finishing sequence alone felt like something different than anything else you would have seen around this time and if you get them the right competition, it would go great.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Moondog Spot

Steamboat starts fast with a hiptoss into a pose into a chop to the floor as the fans seem to like Steamboat so far. Spot stays on the floor long enough that Steamboat goes outside and counters a headlock into a posting. Back in and Spot takes over with a shot to the face and an atomic drop, setting up the chinlock. That’s broken up and Steamboat gets his usually great looking sunset flip which is blocked with a shot to the head.

It’s back to the chinlock as you can see why the Moondogs aren’t so well remembered in the ring. Back up and they collide for a double down, with Steamboat not being able to slam him either. Spot’s shoulder breaker gets two so he goes up, only to get slammed back down. Steamboat strikes away, setting up the high crossbody for the pin at 7:25.

Rating: C+. Steamboat knows how to make a comeback like no other and that was the case again here. Spot wasn’t exactly great in the ring but at least he was able to be a good opponent for Steamboat. Granted it helps when you’re in the ring with one of the best ever, as Steamboat was certainly able to make anyone look good.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Magnificent Muraco

Hogan is defending (shocking I know) and Muraco has Mr. Fuji with him. There are no entrances here, which means they didn’t want to edit out Eye Of The Tiger for Hogan. The place is just nuts for Hogan, even if he’s in the always weird looking white gear this time. A hiptoss and jumping knee send Muraco outside, followed by an armbar back inside.

That’s reversed into a slam but Hogan pulls him back down into a hammerlock (which didn’t seem to be the plan but they made a bit of a botch work fine). A legdrop onto the arm keeps Muraco in trouble and another armbar has what’s left of the arm in pain. Back up and Muraco seems to go low, setting up a pull of the leg to take Hogan down.

Muraco starts cranking on the leg but Hogan fights up and hits the corner clothesline. The big elbow misses though and Muraco drops some knees to keep Hogan down. The piledriver doesn’t work for Muraco and it’s time to Hulk Up, even though Hogan doesn’t quite have the sequence down yet. Muraco gets kicked out to the floor and Hogan follows, only for Fuji to offer a distraction. A ram into the apron/post keeps Hogan down for the countout at 13:36.

Rating: C+. This was a way to set up the rematch for the next month and that’s a fine way to go. Muraco is someone who was just big enough to feel like a threat without actually being one, though the fact that he wasn’t on Wrestlemania is a bit odd. Nice enough match to set up the ending though, with Muraco surviving most of the Hulk Up, which will make beating him all the better next time.

Post match Hogan grabs the belt and wants to keep fighting but cuts Muraco off from getting the title and chases him away.

Iron Sheik vs. Mike Rotundo

Freddie Blassie and Lou Albano are here too as Rotundo starts fast, taking Sheik down with a slam before he can even get his gear off. Sheik gets choked with his robe and sent outside for a needed breather. Rotundo grabs a headlock on the mat and cranks away a bit, followed by a sunset flip for two.

Back up and Sheik gets in a suplex before knocking Rotundo outside in a heap. A chinlock into a hammerlock doesn’t last long on Rotundo, who is back up with an atomic drop. Rotundo grinds away on a front facelock before sending Sheik outside for a change. Back in and Rotundo keeps it on the mat with a headlock, which makes sense for two people with deep amateur backgrounds.

Sheik comes back with some choking and sends him to the floor for a chair shot, which is fine with the referee for some reason. The abdominal stretch goes on, followed by the gutwrench suplex (which someone needs to bring back) but Rotundo manages his own suplex for two. Sheik misses a running knee in the corner and gets rolled up for the pin at 14:32.

Rating: B. This wound up being a heck of a match and probably the best Rotundo match I’ve ever seen. Sheik is best known as being almost a caricature for most of his career but he could have a good outing when he had the chance. This was a good example of two people having similar styles and meshing well together and that’s not a bad way to go.

Barry Windham vs. Nikolai Volkoff

Ah so it’s this kind of a show. Albano and Blassie are here again too. Windham works on the arm to start and cranks away at a wristlock. A rollup gets two on Volkoff and he claims a pull of the trunks. To be fair, there is quite a bit of trunk to pull. The arm cranking resumes with an armbar having Volkoff down but he comes back with a shot to the face. Some stomping has Windham in trouble and one heck of a gorilla press sends him flying.

The bearhug stays on the back, with Volkoff lifting him up and smiling about it like an evil powerhouse should. Windham fights out and grabs a sleeper, followed by a dropkick and atomic drop. A headbutt gives us a double down before Volkoff misses a charge into the post. Windham hammers away in the corner but the Iron Sheik comes in for the DQ at 12:29.

Rating: B-. This was another match that took me by surprise as the idea of Volkoff wrestling a good one is quite the odd thing to see. What matters the most here is that both guys were working hard and it was a solid showdown that made me want to see these teams fight again. Which they would, with Windham and Rotundo winning the titles back in about two months.

Post match the beatdown is on until Rotundo makes the save. Not bad for about thirty minutes between two singles matches to set up a tag rematch here. Though a six man tag with the managers would have been fun too.

The Fink hypes up the next MSG show on May 20. We run down the card, with Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff defending against the US Express (Windham/Rotundo) and Muraco vs. Hogan II. There is a bonus match too though, as Brutus Beefcake and Johnny V will team up against David Sammartino (the fans know what’s coming and are more than up for it) and….BRUNO SAMMARTINO (and there’s the monster pop).

Tito Santana and Junkyard Dog are ready for Greg Valentine and Brutus Beefcake.

Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog vs. Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine

Johnny V and Jimmy Hart are both here with the villains. It’s a brawl to start with Beefcake and Valentine being knocked to the floor in a hurry. We settle down to Dog and Beefcake running the ropes to start with Dog knocking him down without much trouble. Valentine’s cheap shot from the apron doesn’t work as Beefcake runs into him, allowing Santana to come in.

Santana whips them into each other again and grabs a chinlock on Beefcake. That’s broken up and it’s off to Valentine for a gutbuster to drop Santana. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Beefcake sends Santana outside. Back in and Valentine slowly hammers (there we go) away before Beefcake uses the trunks to cut off a tag attempt. Santana fights up and hammers away, which brings in the other two.

Okerlund is begging for a double DQ but we settle back down. That doesn’t last long as Santana crawls around and gets over to Dog for the house cleaning. A falling headbutt gets two on Valentine but a second one misses as we settle down a bit. Beefcake and Valentine work on Dog’s leg but he gets over to Santana to slug away on Valentine, which just feels right. Santana’s big clothesline gets two on Valentine as everything breaks down again. The flying forearm is enough for Santana to pin Valentine at 13:14.

Rating: B-. There are certain pairs who are going to work well together no matter what they do and that is the case with Valentine and Santana. Those two could have turned a boat race into an exciting match and they made this into an entertaining tag match. If nothing else, it’s interesting to see what very well may have been the future Dream Team’s first match, only a few months before they would win the Tag Team Titles. Solid main event here, as Santana goes from starting Wrestlemania to closing the follow up show.

Post match the villains beat the winners down.

After a break, the arena clears out and the ring is swept of trash as commentary wraps us up.

Overall Rating: B. This was a heck of a show with some rather good matches (the opener, the Tag Team Title singles matches and more) and stuff to make you want to come back later. It’s interesting to see this period as well, as you pretty much don’t have much outside of Saturday Night’s Main Event to tide you over between the first two Wrestlemanias. The crowd was certainly still hot and it made for a good show here. You could definitely get the Wrestlemania fallout vibes here and that is a good sign for the coming months. I had a lot of fun with this and could definitely go with more from this era, which is critically overlooked.

Results
Cobra b. Barry O – Hurricanrana
Tatsumi Fujinami b. Matt Borne – German suplex
King Kong Bundy b. Swede Hanson – Elbow drop
British Bulldogs b. Rene Goulet/Johnny Rodz – Swan dive to Rodz
Ricky Steamboat b. Moondog Spot – High crossbody
Magnificent Muraco b. Hulk Hogan via countout
Mike Rotundo b. Iron Sheik – Rollup
Barry Windham b. Nikolai Volkoff via DQ when Iron Sheik interfered
Tito Santana/Junkyard Dog b. Brutus Beefcake/Greg Valentine – Flying forearm to Valentine

 

 

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NWA House Show
Date: February 26, 1984
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia

This is exactly what it sounds like, as we’re going to one of the biggest arenas in the south and probably the most important in all of the NWA. This is a pretty awesome era for wrestling and there is some incredible talent on the show, which means we should be in for a treat. I’ve been looking forward to this so let’s get to it.

Pez Whatley vs. Jesse Barr

Whatley is rather popular and Barr is better known (kind of) as Jimmy Jack Funk. After some extensive referee instructions, we’re ready to go, with an exchange of standing switches. A wrestling exchange on the mat goes nowhere and it’s a standoff. Whatley grabs a quick small package for two and we get a nice shake of the finger. Barr takes him down and puts a knee in the back for the chinlock to slow the pace.

Whatley fights up a few times before a pull of the hair drags him back into a regular chinlock. Another comeback is cut off with a snapmare into another chinlock as they’re not exactly burning the mat up here. Back up and Whatley hits a crossbody and small package for two each, followed by a quick belly to back suplex. Barr sends him crashing to the floor though, setting up a running knee (loud one at that) for one on the way back in. Another running knee is blocked though and Whatley hits a running headbutt for the pin at 6:43.

Rating: C-. Not exactly a hot start here as this wasn’t even a long match and a good chunk of it was spent on the chinlocks. The fans did come up for Whatley’s comebacks but there wasn’t much to see here. That being said, this was the kind of match that existed for the sake of having wrestling going on while people were filing in and it served that purpose.

The Spoiler vs. Johnny Rich

Spoiler is a rather large masked man while Rich is a traditional good guys. Rich gets backed into the corner to start and Spoiler slugs away. Some right hands and a bad dropkick get Rich out of trouble so Spoiler powers him into the corner without much trouble. More right hands rock Spoiler and Rich gets two off a slam, with Spoiler already having to use the ropes. From offense that bad looking? Spoiler goes up and walks the ropes (yes, that is where Undertaker got it from) for a shot to the head before knocking Rich out to the floor.

Back in and Spoiler walks the rope for another elbow and Rich is outside again. Rich gets back in and slugs away before slamming Spoiler off the top to break up the third rope walk. Spoiler shrugs it off and grabs the claw before knocking Rich outside for the third time. Rich tries a sunset flip but gets caught in the claw, which is enough to give Spoiler the win at 6:58.

Rating: C. Spoiler seemed to be a solid monster villain and it shouldn’t be a surprise that he wound up being such a success. He had a look and could do some impressive things in the ring, which is more than enough to turn someone into a star. On the other hand you have Rich, who really didn’t show me much here. He seemed fine enough for a regional guy, but Spoiler beat him up pretty easily here, as he should have.

Post match the hold stays on a bit too long before Spoiler lets him go. A bunch of people come out to help Rich to the back but he’s mostly out of it.

Mr. R. vs. Ted DiBiase

This is an idea that you’ve seen a bunch of times, as Mr. R. is Tommy Rich under a mask following a suspension but everyone is in on the joke. R takes him down without much trouble and DiBiase is frustrated early. An armdrag puts R down for a change and DiBiase points to his head, more or less guaranteeing that he’s a villain. A headlock takeover takes DiBiase over with a headlock but he rolls out of it without much trouble.

R is right back with another headlock takeover and grinds away on the headlock as the fans are rather interested. It works so well that R does it a third time, with DiBiase getting frustrated. DiBiase can’t fight out with a top wristlock and the headlocking continues. Back up and DiBiase finally takes him down and starts in on the arm. The cranking continues but the Spoiler and Jesse Barr come in to go after R’s mask, which is enough for the DQ at 6:39.

Rating: C. This felt like more of an angle than a match and I can go with the idea of them just sending in the villains before things got serious. There is something to be said about R doing the obvious joke and it’s working well here. The fans were way more into this than anything else on the show and I’m not overly surprised given who was involved here.

NWA Junior Heavyweight Title: Les Thornton vs. Tommy Rogers

Thornton is defending and is quickly scolded for a shot to the ribs. Rogers grinds away on a headlock and gets rolled up, with Thornton even grabbing some trunks to show what a villain he is. It works so well that they do the same sequence again so Thornton headscissors his way out.

Rogers finally gets up and tries a sunset flip, only to get caught in the headscissors again. That’s finally broken up and Rogers grabs a headlock, which is AGAIN reversed into the headscissors. Back up and Thornton knocks him to the floor as we’re somehow almost ten minutes into this thing with almost nothing happening. A sunset flip gives Rogers two and Thornton’s butterfly suplex gets the same.

The chinlock goes on, with Thornton pulling him down by the hair to keep him in trouble. Back up and Thornton misses a charge into the corner as something actually happens. A knee drop gives Rogers two and he dropkicks Thornton out to the floor. Rogers belly to back suplexes him back inside but Thornton lands on top of him for two, because this is kind of a mess. Rogers hits a suplex and a top rope sunset flip for two but Thornton rolls him up and grabs the trunks to retain at 14:04.

Rating: C-. They picked things up a bit at times here but egads this was another dull match. It’s one of those matches where they were just sitting around waiting to do something and it made things so dull. The Junior Heavyweight Title has almost always come off as mostly boring stuff, which was the case again here. Just laying on the mat in a hold for long stretches of time isn’t interesting and the crowd was letting them know.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Wahoo McDaniel

No entrances here for some reason. They circle each other to start and then stare at each other without the circling. Volkoff kicks him down and hits a running boot before going to the choking. McDaniel fights his way out of the corner but Volkoff is right back to hammer away as this is firmly in punch/kick territory.

A backbreaker gives Volkoff two and his pretty awesome gorilla press backbreaker gets the same. The bearhug goes on (you were just waiting on that one) but doesn’t last long, with Volkoff elbowing him in the face for two. McDaniel finally fights up and chops him to the floor, with the fans getting way behind the comeback. Volkoff misses a chair shot and McDaniel fights back but throws the referee down. That’s enough for the referee to call for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: C+. This was starting to get somewhere and it made for a good enough power brawl. They weren’t exactly doing anything good here but it worked because the two of them were beating on each other like power wrestlers should. Not a great match, but it was entertaining enough.

Post match McDaniel stays on Volkoff, who runs away from the beating.

TV Title: Jake Roberts vs. Ron Garvin

Roberts, Paul Ellering, is defending and this was a huge feud. It’s so weird seeing Roberts in his pre-WWF days as he wrestles in a sleeveless shirt and pants instead of tights. Roberts takes him to the mat to start and grabs an armbar for some rather necessary cranking. The arm cranking ensues but Garvin gets up, sending Roberts backing up into the corner for a breather.

It’s already back to the arm, with Garvin seemingly nervous about throwing a punch (that feels like a plot point). The armbar goes on again, with Roberts grabbing the trunks to send the fans into another frenzy. Roberts uses the trunks again and then gets in a discussion with the referee over touching the rope. Garvin fights up and hammers away in the corner, including knocking Roberts out to the floor. Back in and Roberts is favoring his arm before bailing to the floor from an angry Garvin.

Roberts gets back in again and shoves Garvin down out of the corner. The armbar goes back on, with Roberts switching over to a chinlock. Garvin fights up and the fans are entirely with him but Roberts karate chops him back. The comeback is on though with Garvin firing off the big right hands to the ribs. Roberts’ shirt goes up to reveal a bunch of tape so Garvin hammers away. Roberts gets tied in the ropes so Ellering makes the save, only to get caught with a chair. The referee gets decked and Roberts hits a DDT onto the chair (that looked good), followed by an elbow drop for the pin at 13:26.

Rating: B-. This was a fairly basic match but the crowd was WAY into everything, with Garvin’s comebacks getting quite the reception. The arm/rib injuries were good additions and they made me want to see Garvin use them to get back against the cheating Roberts. You could see that this was part of a bigger story and that explained a lot of the reactions from the crowd. Best match on the shot thus far.

National Tag Team Titles: Road Warriors vs. King Kong Bundy/Stan Hansen

The Warriors, with Paul Ellering, are defending and this could be a mess. Hawk and Hansen lock up to start and neither can get anywhere with the power stuff. Instead, Hansen chops him up against the ropes, which works better than I would have expected. Animal (with a decent amount of hair) comes in but gets dropped by Bundy (no hair) as the fans sound pleased.

We settle down to Hawk coming in to face Bundy and the test of strength ensues. Bundy isn’t having any of this being kicked in the ribs thing and knocks Hawk backwards, setting up the bearhug. Hawk gets out but can’t whip Bundy out of the corner. A scream sets up a charge but Bundy gets the boot up without much trouble. Animal can’t slam Bundy so it’s off to Hansen for a headlock. Hawk comes in and gets hit in the face a few times as the fans approve.

An armdrag into the armbar (that feels so out of place in this match) has Hawk down again and Bundy drops a bit knee on the arm. The legdrop on the arm has Hawk in more trouble and it’s back to Hansen for some rapid fire elbows on the arm. Hawk actually gets over to the arm so Animal can work on Hansen’s arm for a change. The armbar goes on again and the fans are right there to cheer Hansen to freedom.

Animal splashes the arm to cut that off though and it’s back to Hawk for his standing armbar. The armbar goes to the mat for a good while before it’s back to Animal for the same. Back up and Hansen misses a charge into the corner, allowing Animal to bend the arm around the rope.

Hawk gets to continue the armbarring but Hansen fights up, drawing in Animal to cut him off almost immediately. Hansen fights up and hits a running knee, allowing Bundy to come in and clean house. The splash hits Animal for two as Hawk makes the save. Ellering seems to trip Bundy down and it’s a big four way brawl, with the referee throwing it out at 15:41.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the weirder thing was seeing the Warriors as unpolished heels. They weren’t doing much of anything that would become their standard, including the rather lengthy armbars. While that part didn’t work so well, there was something to be said about the wild brawl at the end and seeing such a different version of the legendary team. And a hot tag to King Kong Bundy, which is not the most common thing to see.

Post match the brawl stays on and the Warriors bail, with Bundy shouting something into the microphone.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Brad Armstrong

Flair is defending, not long after winning the title at the first Starrcade. Armstrong’s National Heavyweight Title isn’t on the line here and he can’t be older than 21 or so. We get the old school referee instructions and a handshake gets us going. Flair backs him up to the ropes before wrestling him down but Armstrong reverses into a hammerlock. The standing armbar sends Flair over to the ropes so Armstrong switches to a headlock instead.

Flair fights up so Armstrong cranks on the head even more. Flair finally escapes and goes to a waistlock, only for Armstrong to reverse back into the headlock. This one is broken up much faster and Flair cranks on the arm, setting up the big chops. Armstrong isn’t having that and goes back to the armbar. That’s broken up as well and Flair adds in a handshake. They start running the ropes and Flair gets in a leapfrog, only to walk into a pair of dropkicks.

This time Flair needs a breather on the floor, which is more in his style. Back in and Flair fires off some shoulders in the corner but Armstrong cuts him off again and hammers away. A backdrop sets up another headlock but Flair forearms his way out a good bit faster this time. Not that it matters as Armstrong gets it on again, only for Flair to elbow him in the face. The knee drop connects (or as close as it gets) and it’s back to the corner for some shoulders to Armstrong’s ribs.

Flair gets two off a suplex and chops away in the corner but Armstrong fights out again. This time we get the Flair Flop before Armstrong slaps on a sleeper. Flair has to get his foot on the ropes, so Armstrong gets smart by crashing down onto the leg. Armstrong gets in his own suplex before grabbing the abdominal stretch. That’s broken up as well and they’re both down for a needed breather. Flair is up first and misses the big elbow, allowing Armstrong to whip him into the corner.

This time Flair actually gets stuck in something close to the Tree Of Woe, allowing Armstrong to knock him down. A backslide and O’Connor roll give Armstrong two each so Flair goes up top, only to get slammed back down. Right hands in the corner earn Armstrong a bit of a lecture, allowing Flair to chop away. Flair whips him into the corner but falls down on a slam attempt to give Armstrong two more. Back up and Armstrong hits a crossbody, with Flair rolling through and putting his feet on the ropes to retain at 20:49.

Rating: B. This was a good example of storytelling, as Flair was taking Armstrong lightly at first but got in trouble because he couldn’t keep up with him. Flair caught him later on and took over but Armstrong just kept coming at him until Flair had to cheat to win. It’s no masterpiece or anything but you could see Flair bringing him along in a basic but well put together match.

Flair leaves and we’re out pretty fast.

Overall Rating: B-. This show took some getting used to but you could tell the fans were into just about everything. The one thing that takes time to adjust to is how basic a lot of the matches were, as this was much more about simple action between people the fans cared about. It’s very different than what you get today and while it’s not perfect, there is an energy to it that works well. This was a great surprise from the WWE Vault, though it definitely takes some adjustment if you’re used to a modern style.

 

 

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Wrestlemania
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
National Anthem: Gene Okerlund

We’re at forty years since the show first took place and that is more than worth another look. In case you don’t know your history (and you should), this is the apex of the Rock N Wrestling Connection that launched the company into the stratosphere in the 1980s. The huge main event is Hulk Hogan and Mr. T. teaming up to face Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff. This is the definition of an all time spectacle show, even if it’s really little more than a huge house show for its day. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence, which is more like opening credits to a movie, showing the upcoming matches.

Gene Okerlund sings the National Anthem, which was reportedly a replacement for a more well known (yet unnamed) singer who pulled out at the last minute.

Tito Santana is ready to face the Executioner, even though he doesn’t know much about him. No one is going to stop him from achieving his goals, whatever those might be.

The Executioner gives a rambling promo about how he’s going after Santana’s leg, which had been banged up in recent weeks. That’s ALL he’ll be doing as he proves that he’s a big leaguer. This was pretty terrible, but Executioner was hardly some revolutionary or deep gimmick.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Monsoon doesn’t know anything about the Executioner, other than he’s undefeated. He’s also Buddy Rose under a mask but that’s not exactly something you bring up here. They run the ropes to start and Santana sends him to the floor as commentary talks about how amazed they are by this whole show. All six minutes of it so far! Back in and Santana works on the arm but gets sent into the corner, followed by a headbutt, which Monsoon speculates could be one of Executioner’s signature moves. Not that they can tell anyway, though that doesn’t sound like ONLY going after the leg.

Thankfully Executioner does start in on said leg but Santana kicks him away. Executioner goes up and gets slammed down, only to get his knees up to block a splash. Santana kicks him over the top though and hits the flying forearm back inside. The Figure Four makes Executioner give up at 5:39, with the timekeeper taking forever to ring the bell for some reason.

Rating: C-. And that’s how Wrestlemania starts, with a glorified squash. Santana talked about being mad at Vince McMahon over starting the show when he had headlined Madison Square Garden before, but Vince said that was the point: yeah you’re a headliner, but this show is big enough that you’re just the opening match. I’m not sure how realistic that is based on the show we’ll be getting, but DANG that’s a great response.

SD Jones is ready to get down with King Kong Bundy.

Bundy, with Jimmy Hart, thinks it makes sense that the biggest man on wrestling is on the biggest show in history.

SD Jones vs. King Kong Bundy

Bundy drives him in the corner, hits the Avalanche splash, drops another splash and wins at 24 seconds. For reasons of “wrestling likes to hype things up to a ridiculous degree”, they call it 9 seconds. Monsoon even says the previous record was 23 seconds, but instead of dropping 2 seconds off to say 22 seconds, they had to go ridiculous and look silly.

Matt Borne is ready for Ricky Steamboat.

Ricky Steamboat is ready for Matt Borne.

Ricky Steamboat vs. Matt Borne

Borne is better known as the original Doink The Clown and was a noted head case. They lock up to start until Steamboat starts chopping away to take over. An atomic drop gives us the classic 80s sell job, with Steamboat even mocking Borne a bit. Borne gets in a running knee to take over but Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner without much effort. Back up and Borne grabs some suplexes, only for Steamboat to come back with a belly to back suplex of his own. A neckbreaker and knee drop set up the high crossbody to finish for Steamboat at 4:39.

Rating: C. Not a bad match at all with Borne feeling a bit better than the usual jobbers trotted out here. Steamboat was clearly still establishing himself but the talent and look were more than enough to make it work. The crossbody at the end was quite the leap and Steamboat looked good all the way through.

David Sammartino is ready to shut Brutus Beefcake up. Bruno Sammartino threatens Luscious Johnny Valiant with violence.

Johnny Valiant isn’t going to be threatened and Beefcake says nothing, by design.

David Sammartino vs. Brutus Beefcake

Bruno Sammartino and Luscious Johnny Valiant are here too. The bell rings but we have to wait for the sake of Valiant disrobing Beefcake. After over a minute of stalling, they lock up with Beefcake shoving him into the corner. David’s attempt at a lockup only meets Beefcake’s strut as commentary suggests that a loss here could set either of their careers back up to two years. That’s uh, quite the stretch.

Anyway, David wins a wrestle off and Johnny swears the David is too oiled up. David armdrags his way out of a slam and gets some advice from Bruno. That advice: “Find a new line of work. You’re not very good at this.” Beefcake comes back with a headlock, with David having to power out before working on the legs. The leg cranking continues, with David working on a spinning toehold to keep things on the mat.

A rake to the eyes gets Beefcake out of trouble and he hammers away, slowly of course, as we wouldn’t want this to be interesting. David fights up but gets tossed outside, where Johnny gets in a slam on the floor. Bruno comes over for the save and everyone brawls inside for the double DQ at 11:43.

Rating: D+. There’s really no way around it: David was not very good. There was nothing that made him stand out in the slightest, other than his last name of course, and that’s all he was running on. It’s great to see Bruno on the show, but he was only there because of his son, with vice versa being true as well.

Post match the Sammartinos clear the ring, followed by a rare botch from Fink, who says both teams were disqualified.

Greg Valentine is ready to show how great he really is.

Junkyard Dog thinks he could buy a lot of bones when he wins the Intercontinental Title. Uh yeah. Bones.

Intercontinental Title: Junkyard Dog vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine, with Jimmy Hart, is defending. They circle each other a bit to start before Dog starts working on the arm. A shot to the face drops Valentine, who misses a forearm to keep him in trouble. Dog does the all fours headbutts, which have Valentine on the apron for a needed breather.

Back in and Valentine starts in on the arm before switching over to the leg, which is more his style. Dog fights up and punches his way out of the corner, setting up even more headbutts (which work rather well for him). Valentine does the big face first fall and the fans are rather pleased.

Hart gets up on the apron but accidentally gets dropped by Valentine….who rolls Dog up and puts his feet on the ropes to retain at 6:00. Hold on though as here is Tito Santana to tell the referee what happened, which is apparently enough to restart the match. Not that it matters as Valentine just stays on the floor for the countout at 6:55.

Rating: C-. Dog’s all fours headbutts are always amusing for some reason but that’s about all there was here. The match wasn’t very long and that’s probably because leaving the Dog out there for much longer wasn’t going to be a good idea. It didn’t help that Valentine’s big feud at the time was with Tito Santana, so this didn’t feel like an important title defense anyway.

The Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff are ready to win the Tag Team Titles.

Captain Lou Albano hopes the US Express can retain the titles. How lame does that sound?

Tag Team Titles: Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. US Express

The Express, with Captain Lou Albano (as canceled out by Classy Freddie Blassie), is defending. Rotunda and the Sheik start things off with Rotunda wasting no time in taking him over off a headlock. Windham comes in with a top rope elbow before avoiding Sheik’s running boot, which hits Volkoff by mistake. Volkoff is fine enough to come in, where he gets headlocked just as fast.

The Express start taking turns on Volkoff’s arm but Sheik gets a boot up in the corner to cut Rotunda off. Sheik’s gutwrench suplex (that needs to be used more often) connects but Rotunda is right back with a suplex of his own. The abdominal stretch goes on, allowing Monsoon to get in his first ever Wrestlemania complaint about the execution. That’s broken up and it’s back to Windham to clean house, including a nice dropkick to Volkoff. The bulldog connects but Sheik makes the save as everything breaks down. In the melee, Windham gets hit with Blassie’s cane and Volkoff gets the pin and the titles at 6:56.

Rating: C. This was the “let’s get a title change on the show to make it feel historic” and that’s fine. Volkoff and the Sheik were a rather nice foreign heel team, with Sheik being a former WWF Champion giving them a bit more legitimacy. They didn’t hold the titles long, but they lasted another two years as a team, which isn’t half bad.

In the back, the new champions are happy and Blassie has no idea about any cane. Never seen it at all.

Big John Studd, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to prove that he is a real giant by retiring Andre The Giant. It’s Andre’s career against Studd’s $15,000 in a Bodyslam Match. The only thing I can think of: dang that is a nice WWF duffle bag.

Big John Studd vs. Andre The Giant

Bobby Heenan (wearing a different suit than in the interview from earlier in the day) is here with Studd, you win by slamming your opponent and it’s $15,000 vs. Andre’s career. Studd jumps him to start and hammers away in the corner but a single headbutt sends him to the floor. Back in and Andre backs him into the corner for the big hips to the ribs.

They grapple against the ropes, which starts a SLAM chant as things slow WAY down. Andre grabs a bearhug and then a headlock as Monsoon thinks you need to absolutely destroy Andre to end his career. Or just slam him. For some reason Andre works on the arm before kicking away at the leg. Then Andre just slams him for the win at 5:54.

Rating: D-. Yeah this was pretty terrible, with the pop for the slam being the only thing of note. The problem here, in addition to the two of them not doing much, is how do you build up a match like this? A slam is such a basic move so there isn’t much that can be done to set it up. The fans loved Andre, but dang this didn’t work.

Post match Andre grabs the bag and gives away some of the money, but Heenan steals the bag back and runs off with it. Monsoon: “He absconded with the funds!”

In the back, Andre is happy with his win and we fade away with him still talking. Well that’s rude.

Wendi Richter, with Cyndi Lauper, is ready to win the Women’s Title back. Lauper knows how to be a manager now!

Women’s Champion Lelani Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is ready to retain.

Women’s Title: Lelani Kai vs. Wendi Richter

Kai, with the Fabulous Moolah, is defending and Cyndi Lauper is here with Richter. This might not seem like much but this is the fallout from the angle that led to the whole show starting in the first place. Lauper helps Richter beat Moolah for the title but Kai cheated to take it away, meaning it’s time for the rematch. After a semi-famous shot of Lauper and Richter running from the back to the ring, down that famous blue hallway, we’re ready to go.

They fight over a lockup to start and Kai powers her into the corner, only to get forearmed straight back down. A fight over arm control goes to Richter and Kai taps over and over, which isn’t going to mean anything for about eight more years. Back up and Kai grabs her own armbar, allowing her to crank away for a long time. Back up and Richter drives her into the corner, where Moolah and Lauper get into it on the floor. Richter grabs a fireman’s carry slam but runs into some knees in the corner. Kai goes up for a high crossbody but Richter rolls through for the pin and the title at 6:11.

Rating: D. The pop at the end was great but that was the end of the positives. I know women’s wrestling was in a VERY different place at this point, but this one didn’t have much in the way of positives. Even the ending wasn’t well done and Richter looked more like she stole the title rather than beating Kai.

Post match the heroes celebrate in a big moment.

In the back, Richter and company are happy with the win. Richter may have been a star, but dang she isn’t much of a talker.

It’s main event time so Billy Martin (former New York Yankees manager on a number of occasions) is brought in as the guest ring announcer. We get guest timekeeper Liberace, who comes to the ring with the Rockettes for the kicks. If that’s not enough, Muhammad Ali is the guest referee to quite the hero’s welcome. Well the guest outside referee but that’s fine enough.

Hulk Hogan/Mr. T. vs. Roddy Piper/Paul Orndorff

Piper and Orndorff are played to the ring by a pipe and rum band because they’re the biggest villains in the world. We don’t get any recap here, but in short, Piper went after Cyndi Lauper, she got Hogan to help her, Orndorff helped Piper, Mr. T. jumped the barricade, they needed a special show for the blowoff, Wrestlemania is born. Jimmy Snuka and Bob Orton are the seconds to make it an even bigger spectacle.

The place just goes nuts for Hogan, and we get another famous shot as the good guys walk through the back for their entrance. Hogan and Orndorff start things off but Piper comes in and T. wants to join him. They come in and slap it out until Piper wrestles him to the mat without much trouble. T. kind of wrestles out and they stare at each other again. A fireman’s carry slam puts Piper in the corner and everything breaks down, with Ali, Orton and Snuka all coming in, with Ali swinging at Piper and Orton.

The villains tease leaving but they come back in for a double noggin knocker. An atomic drop puts Piper down and Hogan bounces his head off the mat. Back up and a rake to the eye gives Piper a breather and Hogan is sent outside for a slam on the floor. A chair to the back has Hogan in real trouble and a double atomic drop back inside makes it worse. Orndorff misses a top rope elbow though and the hot tag brings in T. as everything breaks down.

Piper front facelocks T. down again as he’s making sure to show that T. can’t wrestle at all. That’s broken up and Hogan comes back in, only to get caught with a suplex. Orton comes in so Snuka decks him and is immediately taken out. Orndorff grabs Hogan and Orton goes up but the top rope cast shot hits Orndorff by mistake to give Hogan the pin at 13:34.

Rating: C+. It’s the definition of a spectacle match and that’s all it needed to be. This was about having Hogan and T. getting their hands raised in way or another and they made that happen. T. was pretty much nothing and didn’t do anything important but stand there, which is probably best for everyone. The ending wasn’t in any serious doubt and that’s not a bad thing in a spot like this.

Post match Piper decks referee Pat Patterson and leaves, with Orndorff being left alone in the ring with everyone else. Orndorff finally leaves and posing/awkward standing around ensues.

The celebration continues in the back with T. talking about how he was training for weeks but this was still hard. Hogan praises T. and Snuka and says they all reign supreme. Snuka calls it a pleasure for him to have been in their corner.

The arena empties out and commentary wraps things up.

A stills package and the credits finish the night.

Overall Rating: C. Here’s the thing: this show is not about the wrestling, which was ok at best with a lot of matches that weren’t particularly good. The point of this show was that it happened and was presented as a major event, especially the star studded main event. This show was supposed to be the biggest event ever in wrestling and while it might not have actually been that big, it FELT that big and that’s what matters more than anything else. It’s the definition of a show that you should probably see at least once, even if it’s mediocre at best. Middle of the road show, but all time wrestling event.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestlemania III
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura
America The Beautiful: Aretha Franklin

Well if you insist. This might be the show that I’ve seen more than any other in history as I regularly put it on to go to sleep, as it’s just such pleasant viewing. It’s one of the biggest shows of all time with the biggest main event in history. Throw in…oh come on. It’s Wrestlemania III. You know what this is all about so let’s get to it.

And in case it needs to be addressed again, the exact attendance of the show is A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE. Be it 78,000 or 93,173 or whatever it is in the middle, the WWF packed an NFL stadium and it’s a show that is still talked about going on forty years later. If you’re trying to argue that the attendance being ONLY pushing 80,000, you’re probably reading the wrong thing right now.

We open with the first (of a bunch) iconic shot of the show, with the camera near the top of the stadium and panning across to show all of the people. That’s one of those famous shots in the company’s history and it’s no wonder that it’s been played so many times.

Vince McMahon introduces Aretha Franklin to sing America The Beautiful, with just a hint of the Mr. McMahon voice coming out.

We meet commentary, plus special guests Mary Hart (from Entertainment Tonight) and Bob Uecker (famously not very good baseball player who wound up being a great TV personality and broadcaster).

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Magnificent Muraco

Mr. Fuji is here with the villains and the Connection (Tom Zenk/Rick Martel) are basically the prototype for Strike force. Muraco shoves Zenk away to start and actually gets shouldered down. It’s off to Martel, who blind tags his way out of a headlock, setting up a double monkey flip. A double hiptoss drops Orton as well as they’re off to a fast start.

Back up and Orton gets slammed into an armbar from Zenk as Monsoon says Orton has “excellence of execution”. Orton gets a full nelson but Muraco’s cheap shot hits Orton by mistake to give Zenk two. Zenk comes in to work on the arm as well but a quick knee cuts Zenk down. Back up and a collision gives us a double knockdown, allowing the tag back to Martel. Everything breaks down and the villains are sent into each other, with Muraco backdropping Orton. A double dropkick sets up a crossbody (with a trip) to pin Muraco at 5:38.

Rating: C+. This would have been a dark match in more modern times but for this era, it was a great way to start things off. They didn’t waste time and got out of there pretty quickly with the young, pretty boy team beating the villains. Orton and Muraco were never really in control for any extended period of time and it was just shy of a squash. Fun opener here, even if it doesn’t mean much of anything.

We recap Hercules vs. Billy Jack Haynes, which is a battle of the full nelson between two strong guys.

Hercules, with Bobby Heenan, is ready to use his strength to show Haynes that he is the true master of the full nelson. Heenan insists that it is actually Billy “Jerk” Haynes.

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Bobby Heenan is here with Hercules and since the teams were in the ring to start the opener, we get the first glimpse of the ring carts here. They go nose to nose to start and Haynes backs him into the corner, where the referee gets between them in something you don’t often see. A cheap shot cuts Haynes off but Hercules has to bail from the threat of a full nelson.

One heck of a clothesline drops Haynes and things slow down. A backdrop and hard whip into the corner have Haynes’ back in more trouble, though Monsoon wonders why he isn’t working on the neck to set up the full nelson. Hercules covers him off a suplex but pulls up at two, which has Gorilla and Ventura mildly freaking out.

Back up and the full nelson, or at least something close to it (the fingers aren’t locked) goes on, with Haynes going down anyway. Two arm drops trigger the comeback so Hercules decks him from behind in a smart move. A double clothesline leaves both of them down before Haynes makes the clothesline comeback. The full nelson goes on but Hercules pulls them through the ropes for a crash outside. Haynes gets the full nelson on again but it’s a double countout at 7:53.

Rating: C-. Not much to this one as it was a fairly slow power match with the result not really giving us anything. It’s still strange to see something like this at Wrestlemania but it’s a rather different era. The good thing though is that they didn’t stay out there very long, which takes away a lot of the issues. Haynes is a guy who had a great look but never went very far in the WWF before bailing (as he did multiple times in various companies).

Post match Heenan knees Haynes in the back so the chase is on, allowing Hercules to get in a chain shot and bust Hayes open (notice Haynes blading on camera). The full nelson goes on as well, likely setting up house show rematches.

King Kong Bundy, with his midgets (that’s what they’re called on this show so we’ll stay with that for now) threatens to crush various people.

Hillbilly Jim promises to protect his smaller friends, who he picks up for a beard pull.

Hillbilly Jim/Little Beaver/Haiti Kid vs. King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo

Bob Uecker is on commentary and actually treats it seriously, clarifying that the sizes have to match (not so much the age, as Beaver was 53 here while Tokyo was 58, compared to the 35 year old Jim and the 32 year old Bundy). Tokyo headlocks Kid over to start and it’s a four way criss cross until Beaver and Kid do their rowboat spot. We settle down to Tokyo vs. Beaver as Uecker seems rather happy to be here.

Littlebrook comes in as Ventura wants to see Bundy crush one of the midgets. Beaver runs over to get in a cheap shot on Bundy, who is tagged in from the apron, which isn’t exactly legal. Beaver’s dropkick doesn’t do much to Bundy so it’s off to Jim for a clothesline and jumping elbow. The group pin gets two and Bundy grabs a front facelock on Jim, with Beaver coming in for the save. That’s enough for Bundy, who slams Beaver down and drops the big elbow, which is enough for the DQ at 3:24.

Rating: C. This is one of those matches where there isn’t much to get. It’s designed to be comedy or for the kids in the audience, which is fine when they just do something goofy. At the same time, it’s hard to fathom how far Bundy fell after headlining the show the previous year. In something a lot more serious, unfortunately the big elbow to Beaver led to the end of his in-ring career, as he never wrestled again.

Randy Savage isn’t going to let Elizabeth be interviewed by Mary Hart and offers to take any questions Hart may have. Hart to Elizabeth: “Is it always this way?” Savage rushes Elizabeth out of there but tells Hart that his phone number is on his license plate. Hart: “You are a real charmer.” And an incredible star, as the charisma here was incredible.

We recap Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog. Race is the King of the WWF and wants the Dog to bow to him but Dog wasn’t interested. Instead, Race, with Bobby Heenan, tried to force him to bow. That’s enough to set up a match, but I’d be more annoyed at the crown having a string to help hold it on. They can’t get something a bit more customized?

Race promises to make Dog bow and the Queen (Fabulous Moolah) is told to keep the crown.

The Dog thinks Race has been on the throne too long.

Junkyard Dog vs. Harley Race

Bob Uecker runs off commentary because he is apparently in love with Moolah. As….someone must have been. Dog slugs away to start and knocks him outside, followed by a headbutt back inside. Race hits a headbutt to the ribs and they go outside, where Race misses a falling headbutt.

A clothesline sends Race over the top and back inside, followed by another to put him outside again, with Race’s face landing on the apron. Back in again and Race fights out of an abdominal stretch and hits a falling headbutt, which huts himself again. Dog whips him over the corner and hits some headbutts on all fours. Heenan offers a distraction though and Race grabs a belly to belly for the pin at 3:19.

Rating: C. This was another short one and somehow might have set a record for the most headbutts attempted in any match. The interesting thing here is that it felt like Race was doing something beneath him, but you could still see how graceful he was with some of his bumping. It made Dog, who wasn’t exactly great on his best day, look that much better here, which is quite the feat.

Post match Race puts on the robe and sits in his chair, which is quite the visual. Dog does bow, then hits Race with the chair and steals the robe and crown, because he’s a sore loser.

Hulk Hogan is not happy with people suggesting that he is ready to take his last ride. At some point you have to face the truth, which is what Andre The Giant will do today. Andre is going to have to face every Hulkamaniac. Hogan: “They say if the dirty air doesn’t get you, the politicians will.” After that line that I have not understood for over thirty seven years, Hogan promises to win.

The Dream Team says don’t worry about Dino Bravo being in their corner.

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

The Dream Team, with Luscious Johnny V and Dino Bravo, gets an entrance while the Rougeaus are already in the ring. Ventura praises Greg Valentine’s new robe. To be fair, that is a rather snazzy robe. As usual, Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau is which and asks Monsoon in an exchange that illustrates why they sounded like normal people from time to time. Ventura can’t remember which Rougeau he’s seeing, Monsoon says it’s Raymond (the one with the mustache) and Ventura sounds grateful. How often do you see that in wrestling?

Anyway, Raymond takes over on Valentine to start and hands it off to Jacques, who misses a spinning middle rope crossbody, allowing Valentine to drop some elbows, as he is known to do. Beefcake comes in to stomp away and a top rope forearm to the head/backbreaker combination hits Jacques.

Bobby Heenan joins commentary and says he is 2/2 today as Valentine gets the Figure Four, sending Jacques to the rope. Monsoon calls out Heenan for King Kong Bundy’s loss, but Heenan doesn’t “deal with midgets”. Jacques gets over to Raymond for the tag and Le Bombe de Rougeau connects but Bravo gets in a cheap shot, allowing Valentine to steal the pin at 4:05.

Rating: C. Another short match which didn’t mean much but hearing Monsoon and Heenan arguing is always worth a look. It’s another match where they don’t have much of a story and it’s just two teams doing things, which is acceptable enough. Anytime you can get Le Bombe de Rougeau, it’s a pretty good day. Well maybe not for the Rougeaus, but at least it was entertaining while it lasted.

Post match Beefcake gets left in the ring for some reason with the other villains leaving. No one exactly gets what’s going on with Beefcake and…yeah it doesn’t make a ton of sense. Unless he’s just having a sudden crisis of conscience, it comes out of nowhere, at least with what we’re seeing here.

We recap Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis in Piper’s farewell match, which is hair vs. hair. Adonis had paid off Piper’s bodyguard Bob Orton and Piper was livid, even more so when Piper’s Pit was turned into the Flower Shop when Piper was gone making a movie. Piper came back and wrecked the place, earning a beating from Adonis and Orton. On top of that, Adonis sprayed perfume in Piper’s face, with Ventura thinking it was due to a bad case of halitosis. This was a heck of a hot feud, as Piper looked like he wanted to kill Adonis.

Piper says he’s not going out like a coward. No defeat and no surrender. Piper was bringing the fire here.

Adonis, with Jimmy Hart, is ready to cut Piper’s hair.

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis has Jimmy Hart with him. Piper has to walk to the ring (as his cart stalled), which just feels appropriate. They start fast with Piper whipping him with a belt but Adonis takes it away and unloads on Piper as well. A clothesline sends Adonis to the floor so Piper drags him, and Hart, inside for a double noggin knocker. Hart gets whipped into Adonis for a crash out to the floor. Ventura: “THIS IS TERRIBLE! THIS IS HORRIBLE!”

Back in and Piper unloads on Adonis before throwing Hart onto him again. Adonis rakes away at the chest and drops him with a shot to the face as Hart is barely able to stand on the floor. An elbow sends Piper to the floor and Adonis sends him into a table so Hart gets in a cheap shot of his own. Adonis hammers away so Piper tells him to bring it, only for Hart to spray him with perfume.

Good Night Irene (sleeper) goes on and Piper can’t shake it off or break it with some rams into the corner. The arm drops twice and Adonis just lets go, with the arm not going down yet. Cue Brutus Beefcake (whose hair Adonis had accidentally cut earlier in the year) to wake Piper up so Adonis swings his hedge clippers, which bounce off the ropes and hit himself in the head. Piper grabs his own sleeper for the win at 6:55.

Rating: B. No it might not be good, but this is an absolute blast of a match with Piper being so over the top and having such a good time with Hart and Adonis that it’s just so much fun. Piper was on his way out and gets to do one more entertaining match because he earned the whole thing. It would have been interesting to see him as a good guy for a longer time in his prime but going out on a high note like this is good too.

Post match Beefcake cuts a bunch of Adonis’ hair, with Piper throwing it around. Adonis wakes up and is shown his haircut, which sends Adonis into a frenzy. It doesn’t really get him very far as Piper keeps skipping away, leaving Adonis to crash out to the floor. Piper celebrates and a fan runs into the ring, gets a hug, and is promptly handcuffed while Piper leaves in a funny moment. Of note: the hedge clippers that Adonis used would become Beefcake’s trademark as he became the Barber after the match. Throw in Adonis being the one to give Piper his trademark leather jacket and it’s quite the influential feud.

Jesse Ventura has left commentary to be presented to the crowd, with Bob Uecker accusing him of going to be with Fabulous Moolah.

Ventura is indeed presented to the crowd before the next match, which he would do for the next two Wrestlemanias for some reason.

The Hart Foundation and Jimmy Hart are ready for war with DANNY DAVIS as their new member.

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Bob Uecker and Mary Hart are on commentary. So this is ALL about Davis, who was a referee who cost the Bulldogs and Santana their titles through being all evil. He was promptly suspended “for life plus ten years” (he refereed again later on because wrestling) so Jimmy Hart has turned him into a wrestler, making his debut here.

The fans are desperate to see Davis get absolutely massacred here and he has absolutely insane heat. The good guys get to do their entrance and Uecker AGAIN does a great job of setting up Monsoon to recap the story, treating this totally seriously (in his own fun way) and being as good of a celebrity broadcaster as you’ll ever find in wrestling. Matilda (the bulldog mascot) chases the villains to the floor and Santana jumps Neidhart before we officially get going.

Ventura takes Matilda to the back as Bret is dropped face first out of the corner. Neidhart comes in as Mary Hart goes on a rather annoying rant about how she is NOT related to Jimmy. Santana leapfrogs Neidhart and hands it off to Smith to hammer away. Smith avoids Bret’s elbow and hands it off to Dynamite, who gets headbutted down. Dynamite gets punched in the corner and Neidhart adds a cheap shot as Monsoon says that Bret, just like Bob Orton, has Excellence Of Execution.

Something close to a Demolition Decapitator hits Dynamite and it’s off to Davis for a few stomps. He immediately hands it off to Bret with the biggest grin, because he knows how to be a heel. Unfortunately Mary is asking what Dynamite has to do to get out of the ring in this TAG match. Davis comes back in for two more stomps and gets out again with his big grin. Bret tries a slingshot but Davis lands on raised knees, allowing Santana to come in and hammer on Davis, with the fans going NUTS.

A backdrop sets up the flying forearm before Santana just unloads on him with some right hands. Neidhart breaks up the Figure Four so Smith comes in for a heck of a clothesline and a jumping Tombstone. That’s not enough for the cover so Smith grabs a suplex to drop Davis again. The running powerslam gets two with Neidhart making the save. Everything breaks down and Jimmy slips in the megaphone so Davis can knock Smith out for the win at 8:53.

Rating: B. While it might be stretching the idea of having Davis escape one more time, sweet goodness the crowd reactions here were incredible. Davis was getting absolutely molten heat here and the fans were dying to see him get crushed. I could have gone for seeing the good guys win, but stretching it out wasn’t the worst idea.

Bobby Heenan (now in the famous white tuxedo) promises that Hulkamania is over tonight because Andre The Giant will be the new World Champion. Heenan’s confidence here is even higher than usual as he really feels like this is the be all and end all for him.

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Slick is here with Reed as we have a bit of a Mid-South reunion here. Ware tries to pick up the pace to start by running over Reed and then dropkicks him out to the floor. Back in and Reed drops Ware to take over and we look at Frankie the parrot trying to eat the camera. Ware comes back with some right hands and a dropkick before a small package gets two. Back up and Ware tries a crossbody but Reed rolls through and grabs the tights for the pin at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here with the two of them just having a quick match without going very far. Reed felt like he could have been something bigger in the company but it never quite panned out. Having him around here was fine, but there is only so much you can do in a match this short with nothing going on.

Post match Slick goes after Ware but Tito Santana pops up to rip off Slick’s suit as he and Ware have been having issues lately. Santana and Ware clear out Reed too.

We recap Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage for the Intercontinental Title. Savage injured Steamboat with an ax handle to send Steamboat throat first into the barricade and then crushed his throat with the ring bell. Steamboat returned anyway and wanted revenge while teaming up with George Steele, who had been feuding with Savage for several months.

Savage is ready to beat Steamboat and get him out of the ring because he is the lord and master. “History beckons the Macho Man.” What an amazing line.

Steamboat says they are going to meet like titans and the Dragon is going to scorch Savage’s back.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Steamboat, with George Steele, is challenging and Miss Elizabeth is with Savage, who gets a face pop so big that even commentary has to acknowledge it. They lock up to start and Steamboat shoves him to the floor as Ventura says Steamboat was able to come back because he has a lot of throat. The armdrags have Savage in trouble and Steamboat lifts him up with a choke.

Back in and Savage gets in a kick of his own as even Monsoon has to admit that Savage is pretty incredible. Steamboat comes back with a crank on the arm and snaps it over the top but Savage elbows him in the face. Savage drops a knee for two but gets sent face first into the buckle. A crossbody gives Steamboat two and it’s another armdrag into some shoulder blocks. Savage comes back with a jumping knee to the back but Steamboat is fine enough to skin the cat.

That just earns him a clothesline over the top because as good as Steamboat is, Savage is incredibly smart in his own right. Another running knee sends Steamboat crashing over the barricade, with Steele having to help him back over while the referee yells at Savage. Ventura gets on Monsoon, who wanted managers to be less hands on. Monsoon: “That’s not a manager. That’s a friend.” I feel terrible for this one but screw off with that nonsense Monsoon.

The top rope ax handle drills Steamboat and an atomic drop gets two back inside. Steamboat flips out of a belly to back suplex and backdrops Savage over the top for a heck of a bump to the floor. Back in and Steamboat dives off the top and over the referee to chop Savage in the head (I love that shot). Steamboat starts firing off the chops and Savage is knocked outside again. A sunset flip and some rollups get two each on Savage as even Ventura has to admit that this match is incredible.

Steamboat catapults him face first into the post for two but Savage pulls the tights to send Steamboat shoulder first into the post. Back up and a reversed whip takes out the referee and Savage hits his signature clothesline (where he lands on his back for some reason). The top rope elbow connects….and there’s no referee. Savage goes to grab the bell but Steele shoves him off the top, with Savage crashing down onto said bell (close enough). Back up and Steamboat small packages him for the pin and the title at 14:31 in one of the most famous finishes in history.

Rating: A+. I mean…what do you want me to say? Yeah it might be a cliche to say this is one of the best matches ever but that’s exactly what it is. You have two of the best of all time in a match that was way ahead of its time with the fast pace and near falls. There’s nothing close to bad in the whole thing and it feels like it is one of the biggest showdowns you’ll ever see. In short, this is a classic for a reason, or in this case, multiple reasons.

Savage goes back in the card with his head in his hands, completely destroyed.

Jake Roberts, with Alice Cooper, is ready to get revenge on Honky Tonk Man for hitting him with a guitar.

Honky Tonk Man thinks the fans want to hear his song rather than something by Alice Cooper.

Honky Tonk Man vs. Jake Roberts

Jimmy Hart and Alice Cooper are here too. Roberts jumps him to start and knocks him outside before the Elvis suit can come off. The beating goes to the floor, with Roberts getting in a slam as the beating is on in a hurry. Back in and Roberts charges into a knee in the corner but he’s right back with the short arm clothesline. The threat of a DDT sends Honky Tonk bailing to the floor, where he manages to post Roberts for a breather.

Back in and the middle rope fist drop hits Roberts, followed by an elbow to the face (by “Honk” according to Monsoon). The Shake Rattle And Roll (he couldn’t get past the Shake) is broken up and Roberts is back with an atomic drop. There’s a backdrop to Honky Tonk and he gets tied in the ropes for some right hands. The DDT is teased but Hart grabs the leg, allowing Honky Tonk to get a rollup (with a grab of the rope) for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C. There was only so much to get out of this one as Honky Tonk wasn’t going to have the best matches and this was more about Roberts’ revenge. That’s not what he got anyway, but it’s not like Roberts was ever going to win many big matches. Honky Tonk Man had something much bigger coming, but you wouldn’t have bet on it here…which is kind of the entire point.

Post match Hart and Cooper get in the ring, with Roberts holding Hart back so Cooper can throw Damien on him. This show has been very full of sore losers.

Gene Okerlund announces the attendance record.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the villains and is still in his torn suit. Volkoff sings the Soviet national anthem, which draws out newcomer Jim Duggan (yes the 2×4 has an American flag) to break it up because THIS IS AMERICA. The villains jump them from behind to get started but are sent into the corners to cut them off. Blair comes in to work on Sheik’s arm and the Bees take turns working on said arm. Everything breaks down as the ring is full of trash from the anthem.

Sheik elbows Brunzell down and it’s back to Volkoff for a bearhug (which has Brunzell looking like he’s being tortured to death). A suplex (almost a Jackhammer) gives Sheik two but Brunzell knees him down. The referee misses the tag thanks to a distraction though and everything breaks down. Sheik camel clutches Brunzell so Duggan blasts him in the back with the 2×4 for the DQ at 5:51.

Rating: D. This is a good example of a match that did not need to be here and served little more than to stretch things out until the main event was ready to go. It really didn’t need to happen and it’s not like there was much going on anyway. If nothing else, it continues to amaze me that Sheik and Volkoff were a team for so long. They won the Tag Team Titles two years ago at the first Wrestlemania and they’re still here.

Post match Duggan says he’ll do that every time Volkoff tries to disgrace America. As Ventura puts it: why are the Bees ok with Duggan costing them a match? Shouldn’t they be mad?

Andre The Giant is ready to be the World Champion and Bobby Heenan agrees.

We recap Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant. They had been friends for years but then Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and asked why he never got a title shot from Hogan. Andre snapped (well as much as he’s ever going to snap) and tore the shirt off of Hogan’s back (ripping his cross off by mistake in the process), challenging him for the title at “the Wrestlemania.” Hogan agreed and it’s time for the biggest match of all time.

Hogan is ready and poses.

Bob Uecker, the guest ring announcer and Mary Hart, the guest timekeeper, are brought out.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre The Giant

Andre, with Bobby Heenan, is challenging. Hogan’s entrance is rather incredible, with him getting the big spotlight and walking all the way to the ring as Ventura does the tale of the tape (and even admits that Hogan’s biceps are “phenomenal”). Ventura: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That’s pretty accurate, yep. The bell rings and we get the staredown, which is your next iconic shot of the show.

Hogan wastes no time in Hulking Up before hammering away and trying a slam, only for Andre to fall onto him. This gives us a VERY close two, which was controversial enough that it enough for the feud to continue for another year. Andre slowly starts in on the back and hits a pair of slams before stepping over Hogan to keep him down. Some whips into the corner make it worse as Andre is barely having to do much here, mainly because he couldn’t. Andre misses a headbutt and hits the corner, allowing Hogan to hammer away for the hope spot.

Ten straight rams into the buckle have Andre staggered but he gets the boot up to cut off the charge. The bearhug goes on for awhile (I still don’t get the criticism that this kills the match as it’s really not that long) but Hogan slugs away for the break. A running shoulder has Andre staggered again until he hits a big chop. Andre boots him out to the floor but accidentally headbutts the post.

Hogan, ever the hero, pulls back the floor mats and tries a piledriver, which is easily blocked with a backdrop. Back in (I can give you the commentary word for word from here on) and Andre misses a big boot, allowing Hogan to drop him with a clothesline. Heenan is beside himself as Hogan Hulks Up and slams Andre (there’s your other iconic shot) to drop the leg and retain the title at 11:32. Ventura: “UNBELIEVABLE!” If you could sway Jesse, you could get anyone.

Rating: B-. No it isn’t particularly good, no it isn’t anything that hasn’t been done better and no it was never going to much better than that. What mattered here was giving Hogan the win against the biggest (non-Sammartino) name of the previous generation. It’s a VERY simple story (Hogan gets hurt, he gets beaten down, he survives long enough to Hulk Up and uses the power of Hulkamania to slay the Giant) but it was a good enough stadium match to get by. That and the whole “it’s the biggest match ever” kind of helps.

Andre and Heenan leave in the card, with Heenan’s head in his hands as he realizes he’s lost everything. Hogan poses a lot and gets in his cat, which is elevated so more people can see him in a smart move.

Ventura and Gorilla wrap up the show and we get a stills package to end the show, set to Aretha Franklin.

Overall Rating: B. I’ve watched this show more times than I can count for over thirty years and that’s because it just works. It’s a perfect example of a show that flows so well, with only a few spots that drag. The show has twelve matches and two of them break nine minutes. Even the worst matches on the card are out of there quickly enough that they don’t do much damage, which is part of the reason why the show is just over three hours.

At the same time, this was the show that set the standard for what Wrestlemania would become. Rather than a big house show or whatever the second edition was, it was “here’s a huge main event with enough on the undercard to fill a stadium”. That would become the standard for Wrestlemania down the line and it started here, making it one of the most important shows of all time.

Overall, Wrestlemania III is a show that changed the way the wrestling world worked and it still works to this day. You could tell that everyone was wanting it to go as well as it could and for once they actually pulled it off. No the matches aren’t all great, but it has that huge feeling that you cannot fake. It’s a show that will always work and I was enjoying it all over again here, which isn’t something you see very often. Check it out again if you haven’t in awhile, or even if you have really, as it’s always worth the time.

Ratings Comparison

Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton/Don Muraco

Original: B+
2013 Redo: B-
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: C+

Billy Jack Haynes vs. Hercules

Original: C-
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: C
2025 Redo: C-

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs. King Kong Bundy/Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook

Original: F
2013 Redo: D+
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Harley Race vs. Junkyard Dog

Original: D+
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: C

Rougeau Brothers vs. Dream Team

Original: D+
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: C

Roddy Piper vs. Adrian Adonis

Original: C+
2013 Redo: C+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Hart Foundation/Danny Davis vs. British Bulldogs/Tito Santana

Original: C
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B

Koko B. Ware vs. Butch Reed

Original: N/A
2013 Redo: D
2015 Redo: D
2025 Redo: D+

Randy Savage vs. Ricky Steamboat

Original: A+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: A+
2025 Redo: A+

Jake Roberts vs. Honky Tonk Man

Original: C
2013 Redo: C
2015 Redo: C-
2025 Redo: C

Killer Bees vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Original: D
2013 Redo: C-
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant

Original: A
2013 Redo: B
2015 Redo: D+
2025 Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B+
2013 Redo: A+
2015 Redo: C+
2025 Redo: B

Sweet goodness I’ve been all over the place with this show over the years.

 

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Saturday Night’s Main Event #28
Date: October 13, 1990
Location: Toledo Sports Arena, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

It’s time for Oktoberfest because…well you don’t need an excuse for Oktoberfest. That makes it a theme show and therefore we could be in for some rather terrible jokes. Those will be on top of what could be some less than great action, as this isn’t the most thrilling time in the company’s history. Let’s get to it.

We open at Oktoberfest with wrestlers running around and thankfully we have all kinds of lederhosen.

Vince and Piper welcome us tot he show in front of some green screen and run down the card.

Opening sequence and dang that song still rocks.

Demolition is ready to demolish the Ultimate Warrior and the Legion of Doom. The team just did not feel special with Crush involved, even if he was kind of perfect for the spot.

The Legion Of Doom is ready to party at Oktoberfest and ask what Demolition is going to do about losing the Tag Team Titles. Cry in their beer? Sob in their schnitzel? The Ultimate Warrior comes in to shout about blitzkrieg. I would have put him as more of a Konnan guy.

Ultimate Warrior/Legion Of Doom vs. Demolition

The good guys clear the ring in a hurry but we settle down to Crush clotheslining Animal. A powerslam plants Smash for two and it’s off to Warrior to run Ax over. The Warrior Splash misses though and Crush gets in some cheap shots on the floor to really take over. The beating is on but Hawk breaks up the Demolition Decapitator. Hawk comes in for the top rope clotheslines as everything breaks down. It’s back to Warrior for the running clotheslines and the splash to finish Smash at 5:37.

Rating: C. As tends to be the case with Saturday Night’s Main Event, this was more of a “send the fans home happy in a hurry” match, with the good guys getting in some trouble before coming back for the win. Warrior was clearly floundering as champion as the best they had for him was just a six man tag here. He has nothing to do and that played a big role in why his reign as champion went so poorly. At the same time, it’s still a shame that we never got a big LOD vs. Demolition match, as this would have been the perfect place.

We go to Oktoberfest and where Gene Okerlund introduces us to some of the wrestlers, all of whom are in some rather amazing costumes. Alfred Hayes is drinking and complaining about the beer not being as good as the English version.

Randy Savage vs. Dusty Rhodes

Savage has Queen Sherri with him so Piper compares him to over kings, including his dog. Dusty is fresh off losing Sapphire to Ted DiBiase but he does have his son Dustin in the front row. Savage gets distracted by an Ultimate Warrior poster and gets whipped hard into the corner. A slow motion backslide gives Dusty two so Sherri offers a distraction, allowing Savage to hit a knee to the back. The chinlock goes on so Sherri slaps the mat, which feels a bit backwards.

Cue Ted DiBiase and Virgil to buy the front row seats so they can sit there alone. Only Dustin won’t take the money so DiBiase and Virgil sit next to him, making quite the visual. Dusty fights up but DiBiase pulls Dustin back down, which has Dusty going outside after him. We take a break and come back with Savage choking away before getting two off a cheap shot. The over the top rope neck snap lets Savage go up for the ax handle to the head and another near fall.

Dusty fights up and sends him into the buckle before knocking Savage off the top. A headbutt of all things puts Savage down as DiBiase talks trash to Dustin. The villains finally beat Dustin up on the floor, which is basically assaulting a fan but security is nowhere to be seen. Savage is tied in the ropes and Dusty finally sees what is going on, only for Savage to ax handle Dusty into the barricade for the countout at 8:18.

Rating: C-. There was only so much that Savage could do here and that was part of the problem with Dusty’s time in the company. He could do the talking and the segments, but at some point you can only get so far with what he can do in the ring. Then DiBiase and Savage kept beating him so there was only so much of a chance anyway.

Post match Dusty tries to cover Dustin from the beating so DiBiase and Virgil beat on Dusty instead.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat are ready to make Rhythm and Blues play the flugelhorn and the glockenspiel in an Oompah band (1990 was WEIRD) so they can get to Earthquake and Dino Bravo. Somehow this turns into a D Day story with Hogan promising to give Rhythm and Blues a “Barbarian Creaming”. For some reason Hogan and Tugboat talked way more about Earthquake and Bravo than the team they’re facing tonight. This was strange even by Hogan standards.

The Bushwhackers practice cutting cheese. This is a Vince McMahon segment if I have ever seen one.

Alfred Hayes is starting to like the British beer and tells stories about being on the Danube.

Hulk Hogan/Tugboat vs. Rhythm and Blues

Hogan wastes no time in cleaning house and drops some elbows. Honky Tonk Man is sent into Tugboat’s boot in the corner before Tugboat comes in to crank on Valentine’s arm. Hogan goes aerial for a middle rope ax handle to Valentine’s arm but an elbow to the head staggers Tugboat. The bearhug slows Honky Tonk Man down but Valentine makes the save so the villains can take over.

Valentine’s elbow to the head gets two and Honky Tonk Man adds some weak knees to the back. Tugboat shrugs off the lame offense and brings in Hogan to clean house. A clothesline and right hands have Valentine in more trouble and the big boot sets up…nothing as Earthquake and Dino Bravo come out for a distraction. We take a break and come back with Tugboat coming in for a headbutt. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction though and Honky Tonk Man hits Tugboat in the back with the guitar for the DQ at 7:23.

Rating: D+. Oh come on. Honky Tonk Man or Greg Valentine can’t lay down for the legdrop? I get not wanting to lose to Tugboat but give me a break. This was a perfect choice for a match where Hogan can get a win but instead it’s this lame DQ, which does nothing but feel like a waste of time

Post match the villains beat Hogan down and Earthquake hits an assisted splash. Earthquake loads up the Earthquake but Tugboat makes the save with the guitar. Vince: “What would they have done to Hulk Hogan?” What the heck do you think they were going to do?

Back to the festival for the sausage stuffing contest (oh dear) with Honorary Sausage Stuffer Hall Of Fame inductee, the Genius. It’s Jim Duggan/the Hart Foundation vs. Mr. Fuji/the Orient Express. Fuji is accused of cheating (with a pre-made sausage) so we go to Alfred Hayes for a ruling but he’s drunk and telling stories. Again, this was a Vince McMahon segment if there has ever been one.

Intercontinental Title: Haku vs. Texas Tornado

The Tornado is defending, having beaten Mr. Perfect at Summerslam, leaving Haku to try to bring the title back to the Heenan Family. An early attempt at the Claw sends Haku bailing to the floor for some advice from Heenan. Back in and Haku grabs a chinlock to slow things down but Tornado slugs away. Haku knocks him into the corner and hits a headbutt but the Claw goes on to cut things off. The Tornado Punch retains the title at 3:10.

Rating: C. It’s easy to see why Tornado got chance after chance as he looked great and the fans were into him but the backstage issues were just too much to overcome. There was only so much that can be done when he has that many problems and they caught up to him in a hurry. This was the quick title defense for Tornado and that’s why you bring in Haku.

Hulk Hogan and Tugboat use a bunch of sailing terms as I try to figure out what in the world the appeal of Tugboat was really supposed to be. I remember liking him as a kid, but egads he does not hold up whatsoever.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Koko B. Ware

Slaughter has General Adnan and is ready to start the biggest push of his career. They start slowly until Ware snaps off some armdrags and dances, which is just not going to work for an American hero. Ware misses a charge into the corner though and the pace slows way down. An elbow drop gives Slaughter two but he misses a shot, allowing Ware to hammer away. That’s broken up and the Atomic Noogie (thankfully not officially called that) finishes Ware at 5:09.

Rating: C. They were late in the show at this point and there was no reason to think that this would be anything more than Slaughter slaughtering Ware. Slaughter was going to be the big heel and while that isn’t exactly the best fit, there wasn’t anyone else to get the spot. He’s fine, but tying into a real world story is quite the questionable move.

Post match the Iraqi flag is waved but Nikolai Volkoff pops up to wave the American flag.

Back to the festival for a dance off between Jim Neidhart and Slick (who is far better). Then a food fight breaks out. Didn’t we all know that was coming?

Ultimate Warrior says Queen Sherri is no challenge and she has only enraged the legion of warriors. He accepts the challenge from Randy Savage and the title match is on.

Sherri and Savage promise to win “that belt”.

Vince and Piper wrap it up.

We go back to the festival where Alfred Hayes yells at Gene for not calling him, as his earpiece was taken out while he was drinking. Hayes berates him so Gene hits him with a cake.

Piper wants to go to the food fight, which is still ongoing.

Overall Rating: C-. This one is going to depend on your nostalgia taste, as the wrestling is pretty terrible, but the Oktoberfest stuff is so goofy that it’s hard to not at least chuckle. Yes some of the jokes are horrible, but that’s kind of the point of the whole thing. The company was in a bad place at this point and it’s not a good show, though it was fun in a very (very) goofy kind of way.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

I haven’t looked at this one in a long time so we might as well do it here. This is a big one from a historical stance, with an all time debut and something that is much more infamous than anything else. Other than that, we have the usual Survivor Series matches, plus an idea that they never used again. Let’s get to it.

We get the rather cool squares intros, showing all of the matches tonight, including the team names, which always add a nice flavor to the whole thing.

So the other deal here is that we have the Grand Finale Match of Survival, where the winners will face off again in a final Survivor Series match. Yeah I don’t get the point either.

The Ultimate Warriors promise to win. Well in theory that’s what Warrior says, as he rambles on about sacrifice and forming a bond with no medicine being able to cure what they have. I think.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Ultimate Warriors: Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion Of Doom
Perfect Team: Mr. Perfect, Demolition

Mr. Fuji and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains. They take their sweet time settling down until Animal tackles Smash to start fast. A shot to the ribs slows Animal down and it’s Perfect coming in to stay on said ribs. Animal powerslams his way out of trouble and gets in an atomic drop, allowing the double tag to Von Erich and Ax (whose hair isn’t slicked back and who pretty clearly doesn’t want to be anywhere near this show). The Claw has Ax in trouble and it’s off to Warrior for the shoulder and splash for the elimination at 3:24. That’s the last you would see of Ax in the WWF ever again, and he can’t get out of the ring fast enough.

Crush comes in to clothesline Warrior but it’s off to Hawk to choke Perfect. One heck of a missed charge hits the post though and Demolition gets to hammer on Hawk. That doesn’t last long as Hawk is back up with a top rope clothesline and everything breaks down. The referee isn’t playing with this one and disqualifies the Legion of Doom and Demolition at 7:45, leaving us with Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado. Piper: “I’M WRITING IT DOWN!”

Warrior comes in but Perfect wants Tornado, who comes in and knocks Perfect over the top. Perfect needs a breather on the floor so Warrior sends him into Heenan. Back in and Perfect avoids a charge into the post before going to the eyes to really keep Tornado in trouble. A ram into an exposed buckle into the PerfectPlex finishes Tornado at 11:05 and we’re one on one.

Warrior comes in and gets PerfectPlexed for two, but because it’s a finisher, he’s down for a bit. A clothesline gets two, with Warrior’s kickout sending Perfect onto the referee. That doesn’t have an impact this time as Warrior fights up and starts the clothesline comeback. The shoulder and splash finish Perfect for the win at 14:21.

Rating: D+. This was just lame in every sense of the word, as they never bothered to put in any effort, the double DQ was just lazy, and the ending was never in doubt as the villains were fighting from behind for most of the match. It was clear that Warrior had nothing to do at the moment and Perfect wasn’t a serious challenger. Pretty awful match here and still one of the worst in the show’s history.

The Million Dollar Team is ready to win, even with their absent mystery partner.

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Dream Team: Dusty Rhodes, Hart Foundation, Koko B. Ware
Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Rhythm And Blues, ???

So this is a famous one as DiBiase (Virgil) brings out the mystery partner, complete with his own manager Brother Love, the Undertaker. And this is immediately a hit, with Piper getting in the famous line of “LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT HAMHOCK!” This is one of those cases where everyone collectively went “….whoa” as you don’t see something like this very often and the people knew it.

Hart and Undertaker start things off and the proto chokeslam takes Hart down. Neidhart comes in and is immediately slammed so it’s off to Ware, who is piledriven (Monsoon: “He just got hit with the Tombstone!”) for the elimination at 1:45, instantly making Undertaker look like an absolute monster. Hart comes in and hammers away, so Undertaker glares at him and tags out in an almost eerie moment. The good guys start taking over on Valentine’s arm but he gets a knee up in the corner to cut Hart off. Honky Tonk Man comes in and is promptly powerslammed to give Neidhart the elimination at 4:24.

It’s off to DiBiase to hammer on Neidhart (makes sense on an Anvil), who fights up for the tag to the (non polka-dotted) Dusty. Elbows and a dropkick have DiBiase in trouble so it’s back to Neidhart, who gets tripped by Virgil. That’s enough for DiBiase to hit a clothesline for the elimination at 5:57, because people get pinned by clotheslines at the Survivor Series.

Hart comes back in and stomps away in the corner before Rhodes comes in and gets dropped with a shot to the face. It’s back to Undertaker, who chokes Hart in the corner but hands it back to DiBiase, who gets atomic dropped. Rhodes comes back in and gets dropped again, with Undertaker hitting a top rope ax handle to pin Rhodes at 8:33. Undertaker throws Rhodes over the top so Love can stomp away. That earns him a stalking to the back, with Undertaker following and getting counted out at 9:26, as they had to do something to avoid him getting pinned in his debut.

So it’s Hart vs. Valentine/DiBiase, but Hart small packages Valentine for the pin at 10:02 to get us down to one on one. Hart wastes no time in knocking DiBiase outside for a slingshot dive and a posting. Back in and Hart hammers away in the corner but DiBiase is back up with some chops. Hart seems to hurt his leg running the ropes, but it’s the not yet standard goldbricking so he can roll DiBiase up for two. Hart gets two off the middle rope elbow and tries a crossbody, with DiBiase rolling through for the final pin at 14:02.

Rating: B. This was a tale of two star making performances as Hart (who was dedicating the match to his brother, who had passed away the day before) had another one of those showings that made you know he was going to be something special. That being said, there’s a reason the Undertaker’s debut is one of the best ever, as sweet goodness he looked like an absolute star and you knew it was something special. Granted I don’t think anyone could have guessed how special, but it’s still effective over thirty five years later, so they’re definitely onto something.

Hart yelling F*** into the camera after the fall is oddly missing here.

The Vipers are in the shower and ready for a bunch of individual battles in their team match.

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Vipers: Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Visionaries: Rick Martel, Power and Glory, Warlord

This is built around Martel blinding Roberts with his arrogance cologne. Snuka is looking horrible here, with a huge afro and a not so great looking face. Jannetty and the Warlord start things off, meaning Piper can make I Am The Walrus jokes. Warlord misses a charge into the corner to start but is fine enough to shrug off some dropkicks. Jannetty picks up thee pace with some right hands and Shawn clotheslines Warlord into a sunset flip.

Martel comes in and gets hiptossed into a dropkick with Martel bailing out to the floor. Roberts grabs a wristlock on Roma and it’s quickly off to Hercules vs. Snuka. The rapid fire tags bring Jannetty back in to hammer on Warlord, who powerslams him out of the air (that looked great) for the pin at 5:19.

Michaels comes in with a hurricanrana before it’s back to Roberts for a clothesline to put Warlord down. One heck of a backdrop sends Michaels flying and Hercules drops him with a clothesline. A hard whip into the corner gets two on Michaels but he avoids a charge into the post. Snuka comes in to unload in the corner before firing off a middle rope crossbody, but Martel rolls through and grabs tights for the pin at 9:46.

Roberts comes in to go after Martel, who hands it off to Hercules, much to Roberts’ annoyance. The threat of a DDT sends Hercules bailing out to the floor and a cheap shot (as Roberts can barely see) takes Roberts down. Roma misses a top rope fist drop though and it’s back to Michaels (who was injured by Power & Glory). A middle rope elbow gets two on Roma but Hercules comes in off a blind tag to deck him from behind. Hercules drops him with a gorilla press and the PowerPlex makes it 4-1 at 15:17.

Warlord wastes no time with a bearhug but Roberts gets out. Since 4-1 isn’t enough, Roma offers a distraction so the referee doesn’t see the DDT….or Martel spraying Roberts with Arrogance. That’s enough for Roberts, so he grabs Damien and chases Martel (not legal, so not eliminated) to the back for the countout to wrap it up at 17:04.

Rating: C-. While not as bad as the opener, this was another boring match with pretty much nothing going on. Martel and company weren’t a good team but they were running through the Vipers like they weren’t even there. Michaels was his usual good self, but Snuka looked ancient, Jannetty wasn’t there long enough, and Roberts hit his one move. Another bad match as this show is remembered for one good thing for a reason.

The Hulkamaniacs have been surviving for a long time and now it’s time to do it again here. They also dedicate the match to the armed forces and are ready to go fight Saddam Hussein.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Tugboat, Jim Duggan, Big Boss Man
Natural Disasters: Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian

Jimmy Hart and Bobby Heenan are here with the villains as commentary tries to figure out the lineup for the Grand Finale match. How do you know that Rick Martel is going to be a heel? Maybe he’s a Little Warrior. Big pop for Hogan too, as there was something left to this Hulkamania thing. Piper: “What are they chanting?” Gorilla: “Hogan!” Piper: “That might have been the dumbest question I’ve asked in 1990.”

Duggan and Haku slug it out to start until Haku misses a middle rope crossbody (oh geez he can fly too). Duggan’s elbow misses as well so it’s off to Bravo for an atomic drop. Boss Man comes in to slug away on Haku, who hits a dropkick to cut him off. That earns him the Boss Man Slam and Haku is out at 3:15. Boss Man kicks Barbarian in the face but goes after Heenan, allowing Barbarian to come back with a belly to back suplex. Duggan comes in but gets powered into the corner by Earthquake, who isn’t about to be slammed. Instead Duggan grabs the 2×4 to chase Hart but stops to hit Earthquake for the DQ at 6:12.

Hogan comes in to slam all three villains and hammers away at Earthquake in the corner. That’s broken up and Earthquake plants him down, allowing Bravo to drop an elbow. Hogan goes technical though and small packages Bravo for the pin at 8:00 as the villains are playing from behind again. Boss Man comes in to slug away at Earthquake….who catches a high crossbody in mid air. Sweet goodness that’s insane. Hogan breaks it up but Barbarian gets in a cheap shot from the apron. Some elbow drops get rid of Boss Man at 9:10 to get us down to 2-2, with even commentary forgetting that Tugboat was there.

Hogan hammers on Earthquake but can’t slam him this time. He can bring in Tugboat though and the brawl with Earthquake goes to the floor for the double countout at 11:34, making it Hogan vs. Barbarian. The slow beating is on and a not great piledriver gives Barbarian two. A double clothesline leaves both of them down and it’s Barbarian up first with his big clothesline. Hogan fights up and the big boot into the legdrop finishes at 14:50.

Rating: C. And that’s the second best match of the night. This was Hogan and his friends doing Hogan’s greatest hits against a pretty generic group of villains. You could see that the magic was wearing off with Hogan as he didn’t have a top opponent (after beating Earthquake at Summerslam) and the match was only so exciting. Beating Earthquake by countout on back to back pay per views didn’t help either.

Hogan beats up Heenan for fun.

Here is Randy Savage to be annoyed at being accused of….eating Thanksgiving dinner? Either way, he’s after the Ultimate Warrior and the WWF Title, because it is being held by the Ultimate Chicken. Queen Sherri did NOT do his fighting for him when he slapped the Warrior because he is the greatest Superstar of all time.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Alliance: Nikolai Volkoff, Tito Santana, Bushwhackers
Mercenaries: Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

Before the match, Slaughter mocks the American troops in the Middle East for not having a good Thanksgiving dinner. Piper is TICKED over this, to the point where I’m surprised he and Slaughter never had a title match. Butch hammers on Zhukov to start and it’s off to Santana for the flying forearm and the pin at 50 seconds. As the heels are behind AGAIN. The Battering Ram gets rid of Sato at 1:51 as they’re making it pretty clear that this match doesn’t need to be a Survivor Series match because a bunch of people are going to be gone fast.

Tanaka kicks Butch down and misses a headbutt, meaning it’s another forearm to make it 4-1 at 2:11. Volkoff comes in to hammer away in the corner but gets dropped with a clothesline. Some elbow drops begin the slow beatdown, capped off with another elbow for the pin at 5:26. The Bushwhackers are in with a double clothesline but Luke’s top rope splash hits knees. A gutbuster gives Slaughter the pin at 6:32 and Butch is out to a clothesline at 6:55.

So it’s Santana vs. Slaughter with Santana coming in off the top with a forearm to take over. Slaughter is right back with a neckbreaker and a backbreaker gets two. A suplex gives Slaughter a delayed two but the referee gets bumped. Santana hits the forearm but General Adnan comes in with the flag shot for the DQ to end this at 10:35.

Rating: D+. This show is terrible and there isn’t much of a way to hide it. It was clear that this needed to be Santana vs. Slaughter, as the match would have been better and let us skip six eliminations in about seven minutes. At the same time, Slaughter wasn’t feeling like a top heel here and there wasn’t much of a way around it.

Ted DiBiase and the Visionaries are ready for Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana, because Warrior and Hogan had issues just a few months ago at Wrestlemania.

And now, it’s time for the egg to hatch. Yeah there has been a big egg for weeks and it finally hatches to reveal….a humanoid turkey thing which Gene Okerlund dubs the Gobbledy Gooker. He and Gene go to the ring to dance and the fans boo this out of the building, as it’s just a big waste of time that adds nothing. The idea was to make a fun mascot for kids but that could have been covered by someone like Jim Duggan in a costume. Also, when you’re expecting anything interesting and get…whatever this was. This is an all time disaster and it has become a running joke for almost forty years as a result.

Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior and Tito Santana don’t think they’re behind because the Hulkamaniacs are in their corner.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Visionaries/Ted DiBiase

Santana forearms Warlord for the pin at 24 seconds. Roma powerslams Santana down and DiBiase comes in with a suplex for two. Santana misses the forearm and gets caught with a hot shot for the pin at 1:52. Hogan comes in to hammer on DiBiase but Hercules comes in to get a few shots of his own. The villains keep taking turns hammering on Hogan as even Piper is telling him to get it together already. DiBiase gets two off a fist drop but the PowerPlex triggers the Hulk Up.

The clothesline finishes Roma at 5:39 so Martel comes in for the ineffective hammering. Hogan kicks him down and hands it off to Warrior who slams Martel a few times, allowing Hogan to clothesline Martel to the floor for a countout at 7:23. It’s down to DiBiase/Hercules, which would be a lot more interesting about two years ago. Hogan powers DiBiase into the corner, hits the boot and drops the leg to make it 2-1 at 8:38. The powerslam lets Warrior come back in for a shoulder and the splash to win it all at 9:09.

Rating: D. Good grief they actually made it less interesting. I didn’t think this could get worse as the rest of the show had bee but they pulled it off. I’m not sure what the point of this was other than to get Hogan and Warrior out there again, but it doesn’t really make much of a difference when we saw them both in the last few hours. Nothing to see here, with Hogan and Warrior running through some midcard villains in short order.

Overall Rating: D. There is one good match in almost two and half hours here and that match is mostly memorable for one debut and nothing more. Other than that, it was a good illustration of how things needed to change. The 80s were over and Warrior wasn’t working on top, but Hogan’s act was fairly tired and not the long term solution.

That being said, the biggest problem is the lack of major villains. Warrior had Mr. Perfect, Hogan had already had his big match with Earthquake, and other than that you had Savage on the way up, but that’s not enough to fight two superpowers. Slaughter was getting a reaction but it absolutely did not have any kind of long term shelf life. Undertaker looked good, but it was his first night and he needed time to be turned into something big.

The whole thing didn’t work and it just kept getting worse. The Gooker stuff was the big, horrible icing on the whole thing as this was a bad show, with Undertaker and Bret Hart not being enough to come close to saving it. This show was pretty bad and the company was in need of a big overhaul, which would take a lot of time.

 

 

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Survivor Series 1990
Date: November 22, 1990
Location: Hartford Civic Center, Hartford, Connecticut
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Roddy Piper

This is a somewhat different show that in recent years as we have a main event of sorts. It was never tried again and that’s probably the best idea. It’s called the Grand Finale Match of Survival in which the survivors of each team meet in one final Survivor Series match. The winners get absolutely nothing, which continues to prove that these shows are pretty worthless. Let’s get to it.

Sean Mooney welcomes us to the show and talks about the Grand Finale. He’s standing in front of a giant egg which apparently is going to hatch because of the heat from the crowd. Nothing good can possibly come from this.

The nifty squares open things up again.

After Gorilla and Piper chat a bit, we’re ready to go.

The Warriors vs. The Perfect Team

Ultimate Warrior, Texas Tornado, Legion of Doom
Mr. Perfect, Demolition

I guess this team isn’t as Ultimate as last year. This is the three man version of Demolition. Perfect is feuding with Tornado (Kerry Von Erich, the IC Champion) and the LOD is feuding with Demolition after the LOD cost them the titles. Warrior, the world champion, is there because he has nothing else to do. His team is in the back before the match and says they’ll win. Actually the name Warriors is appropriate as you have the Ultimate Warrior, the Modern Day Warrior (Von Erich’s nickname in WCCW) and the Road Warriors (the LOD’s NWA name).

I’ll never get why the LOD and Demolition never had a big proper match. They fought on house shows but that’s about it. Perfect immediately goes to the apron and lets part of Demolition start. It’s Animal vs. Smash first and they fight immediately with Animal taking him to the mat. Animal throws him into Hawk for a right hand and the other Warriors get in a shot as well.

Smash comes back with a powerslam for two and it’s off to Perfect. That doesn’t last long so here’s Smash again, and he walks right into a powerslam. Everything breaks down and the Warriors clear the ring. Tornado comes in to face Smash who is taking a beating in this so far. Off to Ax who has much better luck for about ten seconds. There’s the Claw from Tornado but for some reason Warrior gets the tag and hits a series of awkward looking shoulder blocks before finishing Ax with the splash.

Crush immediately comes in to jump Warrior and take over. Smash comes in to slam Warrior and Crush drops a top rope knee for two. Perfect is freaking out in his trademark over the top style. Warrior gets up a boot in the corner and clotheslines Crush down. Off to Hawk who always looks like he could murder someone in the ring. Perfect tries him out and is immediately slammed down.

Hawk counters a reversal to send Perfect into the corner but Bird Man’s shoulder goes into the post HARD to give the evil ones the advantage. Demolition pounds away on him but Hawk punches right back. A big flying shoulder puts Smash down and Hawk doesn’t tag when he has the chance. The top rope clothesline kills Smash and everything breaks down. Hawk kicks the referee and somehow this disqualifies Hawk, Animal, Smash and Crush. We’re down to Perfect vs. Warrior/Tornado.

It’s going to be Warrior starting the handicap match but Perfect wants Tornado instead. Perfect immediately jumps him and is clotheslined out almost immediately after the jumping. Warrior bangs Perfect’s head into Heenan’s and sends Bobby into the front row. Tornado charges at Perfect and slams into the post to give Perfect the advantage for a bit. A buckle gets exposed somewhere in there and after Tornado’s face goes into it, the Perfectplex makes it one on one.

Perfect tries the Plex again on Warrior which doesn’t work at all. Instead he hammers Warrior down and hits a great looking dropkick for two. Having Perfect run things out there for as long as possible is the best idea they’ve got. Warrior starts grabbing the ropes and shrugging off all the offense from Perfect. A shoulder block and the splash get the final pin.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Survivor Series match so far in the four years they’ve been running this show. Not only was the match lopsided from the start, but half of the people in it were gone seven minutes in. Perfect never had a chance and Warrior had no reason to be in this match at all.

Ted DiBiase has a mystery partner for his match. Oh boy did he ever.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???
Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Rhythm and Blues are Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine and the Harts are the tag champions. Dusty and DiBiase are feuding for obvious character reasons. Now we get to the legendary part of the match: the mystery partner. DiBiase gets on the mic and introduces for the first time ever…..THE UNDERTAKER. Who on the planet would have imagined what this guy would become over the next twenty two years? Unreal indeed. The look on Taker’s face is eerie and he stands there like a zombie which makes it even better.

Quick sidebar: the Undertaker is probably the greatest example ever of someone being the only person that could pull off his character. Mark Calaway is PERFECT as the Undertaker with the look and the size and the dead looking eyes and the tattoos and everything like that. Before this he was just Mean Mark Callous in WCW and was a generic big villain. Sometimes it’s about finding what works and Taker has worked for a very long time. Also a bit of trivia: he debuted at a Superstars taping three days before this under the name Kane the Undertaker.

Undertaker and Bret start with Taker pounding the tar out of him. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Taker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Taker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

Off to Neidhart who can’t move Taker at all and gets slammed for trying. Jim looked TERRIFIED and tags out to Koko, who is too stupid to be afraid. Koko misses a charge and clotheslines himself on the top. The Tombstone (I believed named by Gorilla on the spot here) debuts but isn’t exactly the famous version yet, as Taker has both of Koko’s legs on one side of his head and covers with the folded arms but from the sides. It looked and sounded great though.

Bret comes in and hammers on Undertaker who just stares at him. Taker tags in Valentine and gives one of the most evil glares you’ll ever see at Bret. Off to Big Dust who starts gyrating. They chop it out in the corner and it’s off to Anvil. The Harts take their turns working over Valentine’s arm but Greg gets a knee up in the corner. Off to Honky who is rapidly on his way out of the company. Bret makes a blind tag to Neidhart who sneaks in and powerslams Honky out.

DiBiase comes in to jump Neidhart but it’s quickly off to Dusty for the big showdown. It’s back to Neidhart quickly but Virgil trips Jim up and DiBiase clotheslines him down for the pin. Here’s Bret again who pounds away and it’s back to Dream for more of the same. Back to Undertaker who gets some HEIGHT on a jumping stomp to the back of Dusty’s head.

Bret comes in again and chokes Bret in the corner and somehow shows no emotion while at the same time looking angrier than any wrestler I’ve ever seen. Bret fights off DiBiase out of the corner and it’s off to Dusty. Taker comes in, goes up, walks (a little way) down the rope with no one to hold onto, and hits a double ax to eliminate Dusty. Brother Love stomps on Dusty a bit so Dusty chases him off. Undertaker stalks Dusty to the back to get counted out, which is the only thing they could have done with him here.

Back in the ring Bret rolls up Valentine very quickly and it’s DiBiase vs. Hart. Bret pounds on DiBiase and atomic drops him to the floor, followed by a pescado to take Ted out again. DiBiase’s shoulder goes into the post and his head goes into the steps and they head back inside. They slug it out but DiBiase sends him chest first into the buckle to take over.

A quick backslide gets two for Hart and now it’s time for a classic: Bret trips over DiBiase and fakes a knee injury, resulting in a small package for two. Virgil interference messes up and another rollup gets two for Bret. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two for Hart but DiBiase rolls through a cross body for the pin.

Rating: C+. This is a very interesting match as you could see stars being made and stars going away. DiBiase clearly didn’t mean as much as he used to and would shift into a tag team run soon after this. Dusty would be gone in January as would Honky. On the other hand you can see the rise of Bret Hart on the horizon as the crowd was LOSING IT over those near falls at the end. Oh and the Undertaker. That’s kind of a big deal.

The Vipers are ready for Martel’s team. Why they’re in the shower I’m not sure.

The Vipers vs. The Visionaries

Jake Roberts, Rockers, Jimmy Snuka
Rick Martel, Warlord, Power and Glory

Power and Glroy are Hercules and Paul Roma. This is built around Martel vs. Roberts, which is based on Martel blinding Jake with cologne and Jake not having full vision yet. This was a BIG feud which they screwed up with a horrible match at Wrestlemania. It wasn’t that the wrestling was bad, but that it was a blindfold match and they spent about 2 minutes in contact with each other.

Marty and Warlord start as Piper is singing I Am The Walrus. Warlord powers Marty around but misses a charge in the corner. For those of you unfamiliar with Warlord, imagine Chris Masters but paler, bald, and even dumber. Both Rockers try to outmaneuver him but it just results in bringing in Martel. Shawn handles him with ease and brings in Jake, causing Martel to scamper away.

It’s Roma instead and Jake picks him apart like he’s not even there. He works on Roma’s arm and brings in Snuka to keep it up, but the afro apparently weighs down Snuka’s brain to the point where he can’t maintain a wristlock. Off to Hercules who gets chopped down so it’s off to Warlord instead. Snuka tries his stuff but when that gets nowhere it’s off to Marty. Jannetty tries his speed stuff but jumps into a great looking powerslam for the pin.

Off to Shawn whose leapfrog is caught but he ranas Warlord down instead. Jake comes in and the fans wants a DDT. A bunch of clotheslines take Warlord down and it’s back to Shawn. Roma comes in with an elbow drop to the back of the head as Gorilla talks anatomy. Warlord comes in and backdrops Shawn before tagging out to Herc. Martel comes in just as fast and drops a knee for two. Roma sends Shawn into the corner and Shawn of course sells it like he’s dead. Martel’s shoulder hits the post and here’s Snuka again.

A flying headbutt to the standing Martel gets two, but Rick grabs a small package for the pin out of nowhere. Jake comes in again and Martel immediately runs and brings in Hercules. Roberts is getting frustrated because he can’t get his hands on Martel, but he still manages a knee lift and a failed DDT attempt. Jake starts pounding away on Herc and Martel clotheslines him down out of nowhere.

Roma comes in for some stomping but he misses a middle rope punch. There’s the hot tag to Shawn who suplexes Roma down and hits a middle rope elbow for two. Shawn does what he can but Hercules comes in off a blind tag and pounds away even more. Power and Glory hook up the Powerplex (superplex from Herc immediately followed by a top rope splash from Roma) eliminates Shawn and it’s 4-1. It’s Hercules in first but Jake is in trouble. Warlord comes in with a bearhug but Jake escapes and DDTs him out of nowhere. Jake says screw it and gets the snake out. He chases Martel to the back for the countout loss.

Rating: D+. There wasn’t much to see here but other than Jake vs. Martel, there was nothing here at all. To the best of my knowledge, Warlord and Snuka never interacted at all before or after this so they were just tacked on. The Rockers and Power and Glory had fought at Summerslam but that’s about it. The Visionaries are the first ever team to survive intact.

The Hulkamaniacs are ready for the Natural Disasters. This is a continuation of Hogan vs. Earthquake, with Hulk N Pals facing Earthquake and Jimmy Hart’s and Bobby Heenan’s cronies. Hogan says they can go get rid of Sadaam Hussein. This is during the Gulf War.

Natural Disasters vs. Hulkamaniacs

Earthquake, Dino Bravo, Haku, Barbarian
Hulk Hogan, Big Bossman, Tugboat, Jim Duggan

There’s some actual drama here as Hogan had never beaten Earthquake before this and the other guys balance out somewhat well. Haku vs. Duggan start us off as the announcers talk about the Grand Finale. It’s such a different time when they automatically know who is going to be on what side. Today you would be waiting on the swerve. Duggan pounds away on Haku and a clothesline gets two.

Bravo and Barbarian come in to get some shots but it’s quickly off to Boss Man vs. Haku. Haku dropkicks him down for two but the Boss Man Slam puts Haku out quick. Barbarian comes in next and Boss Man runs him over. Heenan gets taken off the apron and Boss Man punches Barbarian a bit before walking into a suplex. Barbie misses a middle rope elbow and it’s off to Duggan vs. Bravo. Scratch that as Earthquake makes a blind tag and crushes Duggan in the corner. Duggan keeps trying to knock Quake down but Jimmy low bridges him. Duggan brings the board in with him and hits Quake for the DQ.

It’s Hogan vs. Earthquake but Hulk beats up all three guys because he can. Hogan easily slams Earthquake and fires off ten punches in the corner. Quake comes back with a powerslam and tags in Bravo who stomps away before getting small packaged for the pin. There’s the tag to Boss Man who hits his rapid fire punches in the corner. Boss Man goes up for a cross body and oh my goodness Earthquake caught him. That is SCARY. Hogan shoves Boss Man on top of him for two but Barbarian kicks Boss Man in the back to put him down. An elbow from Earthquake eliminates Boss Man.

Hogan vs. Quake again and Hulk tries to drop the big guy. Hulk tries another slam but can’t get Quake up. The third attempt results in Quake falling on Hogan for two. Hulk avoids an elbow and there’s the tag to Tugboat, causing everyone to shout TOOOOT which sounds like booing. Hogan pulls Earthquake to the floor and Quake and Tugboat get counted out. That leaves Hogan vs. Barbarian and the only thing I can think to say is “really?” Barbarian goes after Hogan on the floor and doesn’t hit a piledriver well at all. It gets two and they clothesline each other. Barbarian hits the top rope clothesline, Hulk Up, legdrop, done.

Rating: C-. This was a lot more fast paced and energetic than you would expect. The continued practice of just teasing the encounter that the match is based on is getting REALLY old though as I guess they want to preserve the house show draws, because who would want to see a feud continue after a single match right? My goodness have things changed in the last twenty years.

Hogan beats up Heenan post match and poses. Piper cheering for Hogan is just wrong.

Some fans talk and get on my nerves. Well one fan signs who he likes which is cool.

Here’s Savage with something to say. He’s still the King at this point which has been going on for awhile. Savage doesn’t have a match tonight and he doesn’t like not being recognized as the future WWF Champion. He promises to take his title back from Warrior and talks about Sherri slapping The Ultimate Chicken a few times. There’s nothing of note here but it reinforced that they have issues. That’s something you never hear today: promos to just remind you that people don’t like each other.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana
Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

This is during the Iraqi Sympathizer period for Slaughter and the idea here is military themed. Before the match, Slaughter tells Gene about having a Thanksgiving dinner with the Mercenaries and not having to be inconvenienced by being in the desert. That’s better than being in the Army and eating K-Rations right? This was a pretty edgy angle at the time. Stupid but edgy. This interview is in the arena with the Mercenaries’ music playing. That must be a pretty dull period for the crowd.

The Bushwhackers torment Boris to start and the flying forearm from Tito eliminates him in about 20 seconds. Sato comes in and is accidentally superkicked by Tanaka. The Battering Ram puts out Sato and it’s 4-2 inside of two minutes. Tanaka comes in and the forearm from Tito makes it 4-1 in less than 2:15. Volkoff pounds on Slaughter with his usual stuff but gets punched in the face for his efforts as Slaughter takes over.

After a long beating, Slaughter eliminates Volkoff with an elbow. There were about three minutes of beating in between there but there was absolutely nothing of note to talk about. The Bushwhackers double team Sarge for a bit but Slaughter beats them down and gutbusts Luke for an elimination. A clothesline takes out Butch about 30 seconds later and it’s one on one.

Tito immediately dropkicks Slaughter into the post and things speed up with by far the two most talented guys in the match in there. Tito hits a top rope forearm for two and stomps away even faster. Piper is trying not to curse and Slaughter slams Santana’s head into the mat. A neckbreaker and backbreaker combine for two on Santana.

After some more beating, Tito gets a quick forearm attempt but hits the referee by mistake. The forearm hits the second time but General Adnan (Slaughter’s manager/boss) hits Santana with the flag and Slaughter puts on the Camel Clutch. The referee saw the flag though and it’s a DQ win for Tito.

Rating: D-. Well that…..happened I guess. They went through seven eliminations inside of eleven minutes and the match was awful. Basically this could have been Slaughter vs. either Volkoff or Santana and gotten the same payoff. I have no idea what they were going for here, but my guess is that they had nothing else to fill in fifteen minutes with (the show only runs two hours and twenty minutes and we’ve got the ultimate dumb filler to go).

DiBiase and the Visionaries say Warrior and Hogan (no mention of Santana) can’t work together. Sean says it’s going to be these five against Warrior and Santana.

It’s time for the Egg Hatching. Gene talks about the fans being hot tonight and the egg starts to hatch. There’s no way around this: it’s the Gobbledygooker, a humanoid turkey who square dances to Turkey in the Straw with Gene Okerlund, does a bunch of flips and is played by the WAY too talented for this Hector Guerrero.

The fans IMMEDIATELY start booing when it hatches, as there is absolutely no point to it. This was rumored to be anything from Undertaker to Flair (about a year early for him) to some Playboy chick. When you’re in a bad mood about being unemployed, remember that someone came up with this idea and was paid to do so. Total time spent on this: over seven minutes.

Hogan, Warrior and Santana are ready.

Hulk Hogan/Tito Santana/Ultimate Warrior vs. Ted DiBiase/Visionaries

If you can’t see the ending of this coming, just go click on something else now. Oddly enough, Hogan comes out before Tito. Tito and Warlord start and a forearm ends Warlord in less than 30 seconds. To update a reference for 2012, Tito is apparently the Ronda Rousey of the WWF. Roma immediately powerslams Tito and brings in DiBiase. My goodness a 20 minute Santana vs. DiBiase match would freaking rock. Tito misses another forearm and a hot shot gets the pin for DiBiase.

Hogan comes in and beats the tar out of DiBiase for a bit before ducking his head too early. A kick to Hogan’s face slows him down and it’s off to Hercules and almost immediately Roma for a top rope forearm for two. Back to Hercules who pounds away on Hulk even more, as does DiBiase. The Powerplex hits Hogan and has basically no effect. Roma is immediately pinned by a clothesline and it’s 3-2.

Martel comes in to beat on Hogan but gets kicked in the face. Off to Warrior who fires off a bunch of kicks in the corner and backdrops Martel. Rick tries to hit him in the head and boy are you really that dumb? Hogan knocks Martel to the floor and Rick walks off for the countout. Hogan beats on DiBiase a bit and there’s the legdrop. Warrior beats Hercules with the splash about 40 seconds later to win.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? I mean……am I watching a house show? These are the kind of matches you hear about at the end of shows to send the fans home happy, not to main event a PPV. It was clear that this show wasn’t needed and that something had to be done.

Posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: F. This show has some moments of ok, but can you imagine PAYING for this show? Undertaker debuts here but no one had any idea what that would mean. Nothing is changed at all, mainly because the company was afraid no one would want to see the house show matches after this. This show runs two hours and eighteen minutes and eight minutes of that are the Gobbledygooker. On top of that the main event runs about ten minutes in total counting entrances. You’re looking at about two hours for the non main event stuff and that’s ridiculous for a PPV. This is another show that doesn’t need to exist.

Ratings Comparison

Warriors vs. Perfect Team

Original: C-
Redo: D

Dream Team vs. Million Dollar Team

Original: C+
Redo: C+

Vipers vs. Visionaries

Original: D+
Redo: D+

Hulkamaniacs vs. Natural Disasters

Original: C+
Redo: C-

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Original: F
Redo: D-

Grand Finale Match of Survival

Original: D-
Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: F
Redo: F

It sucked four years ago and it still sucks now.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

Survivor Series Count-Up – 1990 (Original): A Turkey And An Undertaker Walk Into A Show…

 

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Summerslam 1990
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

This is the requested redo for the year and I’m rather happy about that. I watched this show more times than I can count as a kid as it was the first wrestling show I had on video. I’ve seen it so many times that I can probably quote at least a bit of the commentary from every match and know most of the matches by heart so looking back at it should be fun. It’s a double main event as Hulk Hogan returns to face Earthquake and Ultimate Warrior defends the WWF Title against Rick Rude in a cage. Let’s get to it.

The opening video hypes up the show, including the main events. This gives us the classic 80s Vince McMahon hype voice and that is always going to work. At the end of the day, the guy is a promoter and a really good one.

Rockers vs. Power And Glory

Vince promises this this is going to be a HUMDINGER so you know he’s serious. Shawn comes to the ring so gingerly that you would think he had a bad knee and wasn’t ready to go here or something. Power And Glory, already in the ring, (it was a different time) jump Michaels before the bell and hit him in the knee with the chain to give him a reason to be down. Why is that so much to ask?

Roma hammers on Jannetty to start but Marty fights back with armdrags and dropkick (why yes, he is a face in a tag team). Slick (the evil, yet stylish) manager offers a distraction as Piper wants to know which one is the power and which is the glory. You mean him being named HERCULES isn’t a hint? Jannetty gets beaten down as Piper talks about Mick Jagger and David Bowie, perhaps missing the idea of the Rockers.

We pause to take out Michaels again as this continues to be a handicap, including a gorilla press to Jannetty. A small package doesn’t get Jannetty out of trouble as Roma comes back in and hits some backbreakers. Jannetty powerslams his way to freedom and hits the top rope fist drop (such a simple yet good looking finisher) with Hercules having to make a save. That’s finally enough as the PowerPlex puts Jannetty away at 5:59.

Rating: C. Kind of a weird way to start the show here but I do like the idea of just getting in and out without trying to do anything nuts. Power And Glory weren’t some great team but they could beat Marty in a handicap match. That’s all you had here and it went well enough, even if it was pretty clear that Shawn shouldn’t have been out there in the first place.

Post match Shawn gets in the ring and the big beatdown is on, with Marty trying to cover Shawn’s knee (another Jagger/Bowie reference from Piper). Of note: the VHS that I remember glitched at this point so I didn’t remember seeing the last minute and a half of the match until I was almost twenty years old. Shawn does a stretcher job and would be out of action for about a month and a half.

Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about facing the Texas Tornado on less than ten days’ notice, even if he knows almost nothing about Tornado. Bobby Heenan talks about how worthless Texas tornadoes are because you can see them coming a mile away. Then Perfect gets REALLY serious and says no one beats him.

The Texas Tornado promises to come out of the clouds and be powerful, unpredictable and devastating. Then he’ll go back into the clouds with the Intercontinental Title. For some reason, that one has always stuck with me, even if it isn’t very good.

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado

Perfect, with Bobby Heenan, is defending. Of note: Tornado was in yellow trunks for the interview and is in white here so he doesn’t match Perfect’s yellow and blue singlet. The lockup goes to Tornado, who shoves him into the corner without much trouble. That’s enough to send Perfect outside, as commentary thinks they might be surprised by the strength. So they haven’t even looked at Tornado?

Back in and they circle each other a bit as Piper wants to know what Heenan knows about wrestling. A hard whip into the corner sets up a slam on Perfect and a clothesline puts him on the floor, with the required big bump from Perfect. Back in again and Perfect slugs his way out of a wristlock, setting up a sleeper. Some shots to the face in the corner don’t do much to Tornado, who catapults Perfect into the post and grabs the Claw. The Tornado Punch (HUGE bump from Perfect) connects for the pin and the title at 5:15.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much of a match as Tornado was a bit all over the place (shocking) and a lot of the stuff was rather basic. That being said, this was all about the surprise factor as Tornado gets the title almost immediately after debuting. Of note: for someone perfect, Perfect lost every pay per view match he had in 1990, though finishing as runner up in the Royal Rumble could have been worse.

Perfect staggers out of the arena in even more great selling.

In the back, Gene Okerlund can’t find Sweet Sapphire (uh oh) but Heenan and Perfect come in to rant about the bad refereeing. Tornado CHEATED by sending him into the post and now it’s time to pay. Well not now but in the near future, though that might qualify as semantics.

Sweet Sapphire vs. Sensational Queen Sherri

Sherri has a huge mask on which absolutely TERRIFIED me as a kid. And there’s no Sapphire, despite the music playing multiple times. That’s going to be a thirty second countdown forfeit and no match. Granted the fact that Sherri was in a full length dress makes me wonder what she was exactly planning for this one anyway. Commentary is very confused by Sapphire’s whereabouts.

Dusty Rhodes is in the back and says he doesn’t know where Sapphire is either as she disappeared ten minutes after they arrived. No one has seen her and he is rather worried. Cue Jim Duggan for a rather random cameo, saying everyone is still looking for Sapphire. With Duggan gone, Dusty says that Sapphire is getting a lot of really expensive gifts but that isn’t his business. GEE, I WONDER WHO IN THE WWF IS RICH ENOUGH TO SEND HER THOSE PRESENTS!

Tito Santana vs. Warlord

Slick is here with Warlord and Piper promises to not make a bunch of taco jokes about Santana. A headlock doesn’t work for Santana to start but a dropkick manages to put Warlord down. Back up and Santana looks to load up a hurricanrana (not quite in 1990) so he can hammer away to knock Warlord outside.

That’s fine with Warlord, who drives him back first into the post, allowing Slick to stalk him with a shoe (yes a shoe). The slow forearms keep Santana down until he gets a boot up in the corner to slow Warlord down. The flying forearm rocks Warlord but he gets the foot on the rope at the last minute. Warlord blocks a monkey flip out of the corner though and a running powerslam finishes at 5:28.

Rating: C. This is a fine example of a power vs. speed match and Santana knows how to do that as well as anyone else from this era. Let Santana go out there and run around while Warlord uses his power game in short spurts. It is a formula that has worked forever and it worked well enough here, even in a short form match.

Survivor Series is coming. That’s the Undertaker debut show, which always blows my mind. Look at this card and consider that three months later, you would have someone who has faced Rusev and AJ Styles.

Demolition, all three of them, won’t say which two of them will be facing the Hart Foundation. Hint: it’s probably the two holding the belts here. Either way, they aren’t worried about facing the Legion of Doom after this, because they’re just a bunch of impostors. This was just after Crush was added to the team so Ax could be written out due to what was thought to be a heart problem. In reality it was a bad allergic reaction to some kind of shellfish (not a joke) and he was fine soon enough.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Demolition (Crush/Smash) are defending in a 2/3 falls match and we cut to the back where the Harts say they’re a bit surprised. They promise to win the titles because they are two Harts beating as one (always loved that line). Bret and Smash start but Neidhart comes in to knock an interfering Crush outside. Smash gets taken down into an armbar but knocks him away without much trouble, allowing Crush to come in instead.

Crush pulls a crossbody out of the air and slams Bret down but charges into a boot in the corner. It’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, with the former getting kicked in the back by Crush (that cheater). A clothesline out of the corner gives Neidhart a breather and he hands it back to Bret, which seems rather quick after Bret took a good bit longer beating.

Everything breaks down and Demolition is sent into each other so Crush falls outside. The backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two on Smash, with Crush dropping a leg for the save. With Neidhart down on the floor, the Demolition Decapitator finishes Bret for the first fall at 6:19.

Bret and Crush start the second fall and a choke shove drops Bret fast. The neck crank goes on for a bit but Bret is back up with the Hart Attack clothesline (minus the whole Hart Attack thing). The hot tag bring in Neidhart (despite Crush holding Bret’s leg) for the house cleaning on Smash. There’s the powerslam for two and everything breaks down with the Hart Attack hitting Smash.

Crush DIVES over and grabs the referee, who he carries around the ring. Believe it or not, yes that is a DQ and we’re died up at 10:40 (total). Why in the world wouldn’t you just break up the cover there? That doesn’t exactly make Crush look smart but Demolition was never the brightest team.

The third fall begins so here is Ax to hide underneath the ring like a villain should. Bret comes back with a sunset flip on Smash, followed by Neidhart powerslamming Bret onto him (that was awesome) for two. Then we get to the “REALLY?” part of the match as Ax switches with Smash (ignore the referee WATCHING HIM COME OUT FROM UNDER THE RING) and starts hammering away. Even when I was three years old, I never got how this was supposed to make sense (Smash’s face paint was even wiped off and Ax’s was fresh).

Smash comes back out to double team Bret but cue the Legion of Doom to pull Ax from under the ring and break up another Demolition Decapitator. Neidhart slingshot shoulder blocks Crush into a cradle from Bret for the pin and the titles at 15:50 in one of the all time great feel good moments.

Rating: B+. A lot of this is nostalgia but I LOVE this match and always have. What I didn’t get when I was a kid was that this was the culmination of a years long quest for the Harts to get the titles back and prove that they could do it without Jimmy Hart. The win felt like it meant something (Vince’s call is perfect as you can feel him get happy on saying THREE) and it still holds up to this day. Heck of a match, but this was more about the emotion and it worked great.

Wrestlemania VII ad. I can still remember the phone number.

The Legion of Doom is happy because they have been waiting on Demolition. What a rush….for them. The Harts come in and say they’ll fight anyone anytime anywhere no matter the odds. Quite the emotional burst there.

Sean Mooney is outside of Demolition’s locker room where you can hear them ranting and raving about the Legion of Doom.

Queen Sherri brags about her win over Sapphire and laughs off the idea that there were “early sightings” of her earlier today. Sherri: “WHAT IS SHE: A UFO???” On top of that, Sherri has heard rumors about Sapphire that makes her think Sapphire might be the smartest person around here. Sherri: “THIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!!!”

Five minute intermission, thankfully without the countdown graphic included.

Gene Okerlund runs down the rest of the card and we see one of Bad News Browns’ Harlem sewer rats.

Damien, Jake Roberts’ snake, is in the shower.

Big Boss Man, who is guest referee for Brown vs. Roberts for no explained reason, doesn’t mind snakes or rats.

Nikolai Volkoff, now very pro-America, is glad to be in a tag team with Jim Duggan. Volkoff describes Duggan as his idol and calls the team the American Express (as opposed to the Orient Express you see).

Earthquake, with Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart, is ready to crush Hulk Hogan for good, just like he did to Tugboat. He might as well crush Big Boss Man as well! Bravo promises to take care of the Boss Man while Hart promises a double stretcher job. Earthquake also brings up Tugboat asking fans to send Hogan cards and letters to make him feel better.

1. That was designed to replenish the WWF’s mailing list.

2. Each fan reportedly got a note signed (well, “signed” but close enough) by Hogan thanking them for their prayers.

3. That’s brilliant, and it’s the same thing the WWF did when the Islanders dognapped Matilda a few years earlier.

Jake Roberts is ready to turn Bad News Brown into a mouse.

A good chunk of these promos were not on the home video, likely for time.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

Big Boss Man is guest referee and the fight starts before he gets to the ring. Jake tries a very early DDT but Brown slips out and kicks Jake down. Another DDT attempt doesn’t work and they head outside, where Brown hits him in the ribs with a chair. That’s good for a warning from Boss Man and Brown stomps away back inside. Roberts fights back with the snap jabs and the fans are already wanting the DDT. Brown counters it a third time, which Piper attributed to an oily head. More pounding on the floor ensues and that’s enough to get Brown disqualified at 4:48.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as it felt like a match they advertised and then forgot to do anything which, which didn’t make it much better. Throw in the Boss Man as the tacked on referee and there was only so much to get out of something like this. It just wasn’t very good and I’m not sure what they thought they had here.

Post match Brown goes to drop a leg on Damien but Boss Man makes the save. Brown beats on Boss Man but Jake grabs Damien and clears the ring, sending Brown out of the WWF for good. The rats were never seen, save for a closed crate at ringside.

Demolition rants about the numbers game in their match and swears vengeance, first on the Legion of Doom and then on the Harts.

It’s time for Brother Love, who scared the heck out of me when I was a kid (and in modern times, scares me for entirely different reasons). Love asks if kids remember being told what to do when they were younger. Now they still need someone to do that because they are soft and weak. His guest is the man who can tell you what to do so here is Sgt. Slaughter. Er, make that DRILL Sgt. Slaughter this time.

Slaughter has been looking around and wants to find a great American. That’s what he has found here, which is why he has The Great American Award for Brother Love. That makes him think of Nikolai Volkoff, who suddenly loves America. Slaughter isn’t happy with that and declares war on Volkoff, because America has gone soft. If Saddam Hussein (or “who’s on” as Slaughter pronounces it) declared war on us tomorrow our boys would be destroyed. Saluting ensues, as we have a new top heel.

Mr. Fuji and the Orient Express are ready for their match but we cut to Gene Okerlund, who has found Sapphire….who goes into a room and locks the door behind her. Nice one Gene.

Orient Express vs. Jim Duggan/Nikolai Volkoff

Piper doesn’t quite buy the idea of Duggan and Volkoff being that bright. Before the match, Duggan and Volkoff belt out God Bless America, because of course they do. Duggan says God bless the troops and the Express attacks, only to be knocked outside without much trouble. The villains come back in with Tanaka bouncing off of Volkoff (Piper: “Yep, real dumb.”). The US chants are on as Volkoff shrugs off a shot to the throat and brings Duggan in to clean house. Everything breaks down and the Express is sent into each other, setting up the three point clothesline to finish Tanaka at 3:22.

Rating: D+. This was little more than a debut squash for Duggan and Volkoff and that is fine, though seeing the Express lose so quickly despite having some awesome matches with the Rockers was a little weird. It wasn’t bad for a match there to play off of current events but it was fine for a quick one. As long as the WWF doesn’t think Duggan and Volkoff are a big deal, it doesn’t mean much.

Dusty Rhodes can’t get into Sapphire’s dressing room and has to go to the ring for his match. He’ll be back.

Sean Mooney, standing on a ladder, talks to Randy Savage, who thinks the rumors about Sapphire are true. Savage talks about how the Founding Fathers weren’t thinking about people like Dusty when they talked about the American Dream and this is a grave situation. Speaking of graves, the ring is where Macho is going to bury Dusty so DOWN THAT AISLE! Savage was kind of feeling it here.

Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage

This is Macho King (with Queen Sherri) and Dusty is as serious as he has been in his WWF run. Hold on though as here is Ted DiBiase (with Virgil) on the platform to say his money can buy anyone or anything. He brings out Sapphire with a bag full of money (the trip around the world and the Cadillac seem more valuable, though I’d love one of those WWF gym bags) and talks about how money will get you whatever you want.

Dusty goes after them but Savage jumps him from behind. They head inside and the fight is on, with Dusty getting in some shots of his own. Savage is knocked outside and hides behind Sherri, who sneaks him the loaded purse. One shot is enough to knock Dusty cold for the pin at 2:14.

In the back, Ted DiBiase, Virgil and Sapphire leave in the limousine, with Dusty Rhodes giving chase to no avail. That always made me sad as it was a rare instance of evil flat out winning and Dusty not being able to do anything about it.

Hulk Hogan and the Big Boss Man are ready for revenge on Earthquake. They dedicate the match to Tugboat and quite the beating that goes with the match.

Earthquake vs. Hulk Hogan

Jimmy Hart, Dino Bravo and Big Boss Man are here too and make no mistake about it: this is the show’s real main event. Feeling out process to start and we get the big shove off out of the lockup. That does not great for Hogan and far better for Earthquake, with Hogan dropping backwards. After a quick chat with Boss Man on the floor, Hogan slugs away and tries a slam, only to hurt his back (it worked in the Andre match).

Some right hands and chops stagger Earthquake (and drop Bravo/Hart) until a big right hand puts Earthquake down. Everyone heads outside where the seconds get involved, including going inside. A double big boot drops Bravo and another one knocks Earthquake into the ropes as Piper wonders what the referee is thinking. The referee gets Boss Man out so Bravo and Earthquake can hit a double slam on Hogan.

The big elbow gives Earthquake two and we hit a Boston crab, which is quite the visual. Hogan tries to power out but for once gets smart and grabs the rope right next to him (you could tell things were different in 1990, as Hogan using a ROPE to escape is just hard to fathom). Bravo gets in a slam on the floor but Earthquake misses another big elbow. The slam still doesn’t work for Hogan as Earthquake crashes onto him for two more to bang up the ribs even more.

We hit the bearhug (required) but Hogan fights out and tries…..a crossbody???? What the heck man? Either way, Earthquake powerslams him down and hits the Earthquake. Then he does it again and I think you know what that means. The comeback is on, complete with the slam working this time. There’s the legdrop but Bravo offers a distraction and Hart comes in to jump Hogan. Everything breaks down and it heads to the floor, where Hogan slams Earthquake onto (not through) a table and that’s enough for the count at 13:12. Hogan jumping up and down in celebration always looked weird.

Rating: C+. I love Hogan but the magic was starting to fade. You can tell that there is a lot going on here to try to keep the energy up, but Hogan just isn’t as special as he once was. At the same time, the countout was lame and while Hogan slammed him, it was hardly some big win. They build Earthquake up very well, but there is only so much that can be done when he’s Hogan’s rebound feud.

Post match the beatdown is on with Earthquake choking Hogan. Boss Man hits Earthquake in the back with a metal stool and just annoys him, allowing Bravo to come in as well. In a great visual, Boss Man whips out the nightstick and is ready to go, which is enough for Earthquake and Bravo to bail. Hogan poses (after suggesting that Earthquake is a chicken) but Piper doesn’t think Hogan won anything with the countout. Two things.

1. Piper getting on Hogan just feels right.

2. I know it’s for the house show rematches, but dang that countout always felt kind of lame.

Rick Rude, now short haired and serious, promise to win the WWF Title in the cage tonight and get his statue outside of the Spectrum next to Rocky Balboa. Bobby Heenan explains the idea of a cage match and promises no sequels. Rude: “And there ain’t gonna be no rematch!” I didn’t know that was a Rocky reference until YEARS later. Of note: Heenan started this promo by saying “he’s going to get that Intercontinental Title back”, which is the kind of thing that he would be saying because he could do more than one thing at a time.

Dusty Rhodes is fine with Sapphire taking the money because he offered up his innocence to her and she paid him back in scorn (he used that line a lot in his career and I’m still not sure I get what it means). Now the fans are asking when he’s going to get mad and even. He’s coming for Ted DiBiase because….America can give him shelter from the storm? Ok then.

Lord Alfred Hayes explains how the cage is built for the main event.

Hulk Hogan talks about how there are new buildings being built around the world and they are all earthquake proof. Hogan is going to take that big fat dude (his words) around the world and beat him over and over until he is the #1 contender. That’s not how you usually become #1 contender. Anyway, Hogan has a fourth demandment: believe in yourself. For now though, he going to get a new nine foot surfboard (or gun as he calls it) and go to the beach to chase sharks, at least until he finds that TITLE wave. Then he pretends he’s on a motorcycle and rides backwards out of frame. Hogan was a weird dude.

With welts on his back, Earthquake promises that it isn’t over with Hulk Hogan and promises more pain next time. Dino Bravo and Jimmy Hart rant a lot too.

Ultimate Warrior: “Do you know what Bobby Heenan has in common with the Liberty Bell? One is cracked and the other is a ding dong.” Would that be Ding or Dong? A lot of Founding Father references are made with Warrior promising to beat Rick Rude. The idea of the match is that Rude beat Warrior back at Wrestlemania V (which is never mentioned by name) so he could do it again here. In short, it didn’t work and this is a really lame main event as a result.

WWF Title: Rick Rude vs. Ultimate Warrior

Rude is challenging in a cage and they start fighting on top of the cage. Warrior knocks him down and hits a top rope ax handle to take over, setting up the ram into the cage. Another ram into the cage drops Warrior and Rude goes up, where he has to kick Warrior away. For some reason Rude comes back down and keeps stomping away but it’s too early for the Rude Awakening.

Warrior knocks him down but the splash hits knees, allowing Rude to hit the Rude Awakening. For no adequately explained reason, Rude goes up to the top of the cage for a right hand to the head. He STILL won’t cover so he goes up again (Heenan: “WHERE ARE YOU GOING???”) and gets punched out of the air this time.

Warrior goes for the door and gets it slammed on his head for two, as this just keeps going. Rude goes for the door as well but gets pulled back in, with the tights coming down in the process. This time Warrior pulls Heenan in and knocks him down, followed by an atomic drop out the door. Some clotheslines into the gorilla press lets Warrior escape (complete with hip swivel) to retain at 10:01.

Rating: D+. Not only was it a completely nothing match, but it was a match that didn’t stick around for very long. In this case that might be a good thing though, as Rude was a lame duck of a challenger as you could have. There was no one for Warrior to face and it showed badly, making this a pretty weak main event. It might have worked as a quick house show main event, but (allegedly) headlining Summerslam? Not quite.

Warrior celebrates to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. Nostalgia plays a big role in this one but it’s actually a rather good show. They keep things moving and important things take place, including Hogan’s return and two title changes. It’s still the very tail end of the Golden Era and now things can move forward into the new era. It’s not a classic show, but it is a lot of fun and certainly memorable (at least for me), which is something I’ll take every time.

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