Time for a 300lb Lithuanian in Nikolai Volkoff.

Volkoff got started back in 1967 and thanks to the magic of Coliseum Video, here’s a match from December 16, 1970.

Gorilla Monsoon/Pedro Morales vs. The Mongols

The Mongols are way old school and named Bepo and Geto. Monsoon is HUGE. He’s the Asian Champion and Pedro is US Champion (the WWF version which was gone by the 70s). This is 2/3 falls and we’re joined in progress. It’s in Philly and from sometime in the late 60s. The Mongols are bald other than ponytails. This is the WWWF also. Monsoon is sent to the floor by the International Tag Team Champions.

Geto, the smaller one, drops a bunch of knees off the top on Gorilla to win the first fall. Clipped to the second fall and Pedro is in trouble. One of those Mongols looks a lot like Nikolai Volkoff. And I’m right as he’s Bepo. Bear hug by Gorilla but Bepo makes the save. This isn’t incredibly good. Pedro watches Monsoon getting his teeth kicked in. The Mongols get disqualified for double teaming so we go to the third fall.

Monsoon’s back is hurt so FINALLY we get Pedro. He throws some decent dropkicks which gets the pin on Geto. The film starts messing up and looks like it’s being played in fast motion. The third fall was either clipped or lasted 18 seconds. Pedro looked good if nothing else I guess.

Rating: N/A. Haven’t used one of those in awhile. This really isn’t fair to grade with all the clipping and lack of any story at all. It’s not too bad and Pedro looked great. Monsoon was a freaking load and the Mongols were nothing special. Then again it was the 60s so how angry can I really get with it?

We’ll jump ahead about fourteen and a half years to Wrestlemania I.

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

The Express is Barry Windham and Mike Rotundo and they’re defending tonight. A little trivia for you: the song Real American was originally used for the two of them but Hogan wound up using it instead. The heels do their whole Russian national anthem and Iran/Russia #1 deal before the match. Rotundo and Sheik start things off with the Iranian hooking a headlock. A dropkick puts Sheik down and Mike grabs a headlock.

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

A sunset flip gets a quick two for Mike but it’s back to Sheik for an abdominal stretch. That doesn’t last long though as Mike hiptosses out of it and it’s off to Barry via the hot tag. The bulldog (Barry’s finisher at the time) takes Volkoff out as everything breaks down. In the melee, Sheik hits Windham in the back with the cane for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C. This was a better match than we’ve seen so far with the fans getting way into the whole USA vs. foreigners thing. The title change was there only so something historic could happen and the Express got the belts back about two and a half months later. They would split soon after that with both guys heading to the NWA.

Volkoff would be in the opening match at the first Saturday Night’s Main Event.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (Awesome DVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

He opened the second show too.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Nikolai Volkoff

I love the smelled of squashed Russians in the morning. After a long national anthem, here’s Hulk. He promises to win and keep the title and defend America. He comes out to Stars and Stripes Forever here in a nice touch. It’s a standard Hogan 80s match vs. a monster as Hogan gets jumped early but then makes his amazing comeback. Hogan knocks him over the top and Volkoff’s fat rings the bell.

A ram into the post though has the powers of Russia in the lead and Hogan is in trouble. Jesse isn’t talking much at all here. Volkoff slams him and Hogan makes his comeback and finishes with a spinning legdrop. Yes I said spinning. Hogan spits on the flag and uses it to shine his shoes.

Rating: C. This was a run of the mill Hogan match which is what this was supposed to be. It got Hogan on national TV and let him beat up someone that most people were going to naturally boo. This is the epitome of what SNME was supposed to be about in the old days and it worked very well.

Time for a lower level American. From SNME IV.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner

This is a Peace Match. Translation, it’s based on some peace talks that had been going on around this time. So they’re fighting for peace. Got it. We get technical stuff, but neither are very good at it. So basically they can’t do traditional stuff and it’s amateur style. This…is rather stupid. Volkoff throws a cartwheel! WOW. Would not have called that one. The fans are liking it if nothing else so there we are. Blassie hooks a leg and Volkoff drops a knee for the surprising win. Of course there’s a postmatch beatdown as the heels get run off.

Rating: C-. It was different to say the least. It came off ok though, but this feud never went anywhere at all. Kirschner was the replacement for Sgt. Slaughter who went to the AWA. No one bought it, especially when he was literally a demotion from the previous military guy’s rank.

This somehow earned a rematch at Wrestlemania II.

Corporal Kirchner vs. Nikolai Volkoff

This is a flag match which means a regular match where the winner gets to wave their flag. For some reason the ring is VERY loud all of a sudden. Kirchner is a guy you likely won’t have heard of but he’s famous for being VERY stiff which is why he wasn’t around long. Blassie is with Nikolai here and his man hits a spinning kick to start.

We head to the floor where Volkoff rams him into the post and cuts the Corporal open with a piece of razor that he immediately puts back down into his trunks. Blassie yells at Kirchner a bit before they head back inside. It’s a slugout but Blassie throws in his cane which goes upside Nikolai’s head for the pin. This was another very short match.

Volkoff was in the lucky spot between Savage vs. Steamboat and Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania III.

Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik vs. Killer Bees

Unlike the previous match that had a feud going with it, this is just a random heel and face pairing. Slick (the foreigners’ manager) still has his torn up suit on. Volkoff starts singing the Soviet national anthem but the pretty new Jim Duggan runs out to break it up. The Bees finally show up and it’s a big brawl to start. Duggan is marching around at ringside with the 2×4 complete with a little American flag taped to it.

We start with Blair and Sheik but it’s quickly off to Brunzell. The Bees work over Iron’s arm with tags faster than I can type them. They stay on the arm until Brunzell hits his gorgeous dropkick for two on Sheik. Everything breaks down for a bit and Brunzell gets caught in the corner. Nikolai keeps Brunzell in trouble as the fans chant USA. There’s the bearhug by the Russian but Jim smacks his ears to break the hold.

Off to Sheik for the gutwrench suplex for two and a regular version for two. Brunzell comes back with a quick high knee but the referee doesn’t see the tag. A double elbow puts Jim down again and Sheik poses a lot. Duggan chases Volkoff into the ring and sees Sheik with the camel clutch on Brunzell. Being the patriot that he is, Duggan blasts Sheik in the back with the board for the DQ.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible little match here until the stupid ending. This was again about furthering another feud in the form of Duggan against the evil foreigners. Why the Bees would be ok with Duggan doing that is beyond me but I guess since they’re all good guys they have to get along in WWF logic.

Back to SNME with show XI.

Can-Am Connection vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Sheik tries to sing and gets hit in the head with a 2×4. Isn’t that called massive assault? Zenk and the Sheik start us off. Duggan, after BASHING VOLKOFF IN THE HEAD WITH A BOARD just sits right back in the front row. Sheik gets a good abdominal stretch on Sheik. This show needs to end. Duggan runs in AGAIN and Martel rolls up Sheik for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was just insanity and nothing at all of note. Then again it’s the end of the show so it’s not like anyone was watching here anyway.

Nikolai would finally find a new partner in Boris Zhukov as the Bolsheviks. Here they are in MSG on November 24, 1987.

Bolsheviks vs. Killer Bees

Slick is with the Russians here. The national anthem is one of the best ways ever to draw heel heat. Bockwinkel wants to talk about the size of Zhukov’s head for some reason. The Bees put their masks on because they like to be annoying. Blair has longer hair so I think that’s him with the hair sticking out of the back of the mask. The Russians say take the masks off or we’re leaving. Let the stalling begin.

The referee is threatening them with a DQ if they don’t get in. The bell rang so I guess this is part of the match. There go the masks but they’re in the tights of the Bees, which makes me think we’ll be seeing them later. Apparently the winners of this get a shot at Strike Force, the tag team champions. We’ve been stalling for four minutes now and FINALLY we get Brunzell vs. Boris.

Boris blocks a hip toss but walks into a head scissors to take him over. I’d expect a lot of tags by the Bees. They work on the arm of Zhukov who is in trouble early. Nikolai comes in sans tag which really just gets Boris in more trouble than he was already in. Here’s Volkoff in legally now and I still think those trunks will eat him one day. A double elbow takes him down for two.

They start in on the arm of Volkoff as well and then shift over to the hamstrings and the legs. Zhukov comes in and it’s still all Killer Bees. The Russians have had nothing at all here. Slick is going to file a complaint about the referees. They work on the hamstring even more as they couldn’t be more clearly stalling without holding up a big old neon sign that says WE’RE STALLING!

Volkoff comes in with an atomic drop but loses control on a slam. A front facelock goes on as we shift the momentum over to the Russians. It’s Blair getting beaten on here if you’re interested. Gutwrench suplex gets two for Nikolai. Zhukov mostly gets a suplex on Blair but it’s partially botched. How do you manage to botch a vertical suplex? It’s one of the most basic moves in the sport.

Back to Volkoff for some choking. Double teaming stops Blair from tagging as we’re well over fifteen minutes into this now. The Russians hammer away even more and knock Blair and Brunzell to the floor. We have a random bell which is waved off as the Bees put the masks on and switch off. Brunzell (everyone but the referee gets this somehow) comes in without a tag and gets a dropkick for two. The referee gets distracted and the legal man comes in with a top rope cross body to win it.

Rating: C-. This is a fine example of a long match not necessarily being a good match. It went WAY too long when you could legitimately pull out 10 minutes out of this and it’s the same match. There’s a lot of basic work including about 8 minutes of nothing but hamstring work on Zhukov. Boring match for the most part but nothing horrible.

One more SNME with XIV.

Tag Titles: Bolsheviks vs. Strike Force

This is 2/3 falls to continue the SNME tradition. Apparently Okerlund looks like Khrushchev with a mustache. We see Strike Force beating the Harts to win the tag titles and they say stuff that might have been in English but I’m not entirely sure. Slick calls them Pint Sized Rambos. That’s a cool name. Boris and Tito start us off. Such a disparity in talent between the two teams.

This is your standard 80s style tag match which means it’s fun but not really that good. That works though. The crowd is way hot so that’s a big perk. Martel hooks the Boston Crab for the tap out to make it 1-0 for the champions. They celebrate into the first commercial.

That’s one thing I love about SNME: they let the match stop until we get back so we miss nothing at all. The heels cheat to take over as you would likely expect. Something tells me the champions are retaining here. Can’t place it but they have something extra. I think it’s called talent. Slick throws in the cane which is picked off and the shot allows the champions to retain in two straight falls.

Rating: B-. This was really quick and not great. However I’m a big mark for Strike Force so this was fun. The Bolsheviks never won anything so this was no shock at all. Boring match but nothing wrong with giving the champions another win they should get. Then again I’ve always been a big Strike Force fan.

The team would also be on the first Summerslam in 1988.

Powers of Pain vs. Bolsheviks

The Powers (Barbarian and Warlord) are still faces here and have the Baron (Von Raschke) with them. Just like in the previous two matches the brawl is on as soon as the good guys hit the ring. The Powers double clothesline Boris Zhukov as Volkoff tries to sneak in for a cheap shot. Barbarian easily catches him coming in and sends him flying until we get down to Barbarian vs. Boris to start things off.

Boris puts his head down and…..something happens (it looked like a choke but it’s not really clear) before it’s off to Warlord for a gutwrench suplex on Zhukov. Both Russians double team Warlord but they can’t even get him down to his knees. Nikolai chokes away before Boris puts on a chinlock. The Russians have a double backdrop broken up and it’s off to Barbarian again. Everything breaks down and it’s a double shoulder followed by a swan dive to Boris for the pin.

Rating: D. Another lame match here but the Powers looked decent. The Baron would be gone in a few weeks as the company wasn’t pleased that a dark character was getting cheered, so they turned Demolition and their evil S&M looking gear face instead. Also did the Russians ever actually win a major match?

Time for comedy in December 1990.

Bushwackers vs. Bolsheviks

This might be December 30, 1988 as that’s the only date I can find for these teams to be fighting in this arena. The Bushwackers jump the Russians to start and it’s a big brawl. After about a minute and a half of brawling we finally get down to Luke vs. Boris. This is more along the lines of a Sheepherders’ match than the traditional stuff you would see from these guys.

The vast majority of the commentary is talking about how odd the Bushwackers are which is rather true. Trongard can’t figure out who is who here. Basically the Russians can’t get anything going at all. It’s another big brawl as the Bushwackers bite legs. Luke gets in trouble though and the Russians take over for the first time. Volkoff is called the Russian Bear in blatant gimmick infringement by Hayes.

This isn’t going anywhere at all as we’re just waiting on the down under comeback to end it. The Russians here are straight up jobbers which says a lot. Somehow Trongard still can’t tell the Bushwackers apart. They look alike but it’s not like they’re identical. Butch comes in for the save when Luke is double teamed but accidently hits Luke. Luke naturally goes after Butch because that’s just what you do.

Hot tag with no heat at all on it brings in Butch who the announcers call Luke. Everything breaks down again of course and we get the dreaded heel miscommunication to put Volkoff on the floor. The Battering Ram takes down Zhukov, followed by the double stomach breaker and we begin the long awesomeness of the Bushwackers’ undefeated streak! Yeah I’m just trying to fill in space here. Trongard says the Bolsheviks are former tag champions which isn’t true. He was rather irritating on commentary for stupid things like that.

Rating: D+. This was a glorified comedy match but for a debut it was ok. The fans seemed to be into them for the most part so it’s hard to complain about them for the most part. This wasn’t horrible but considering this was more or less the peak of the Bushwackers’ abilities by this point, this wasn’t much at all. Not horrible though.

Then Volkoff wanted to be an American. Here he is at Survivor Series 1990.

Alliance vs. Mercenaries

Nikolai Volkoff, Bushwhackers, Tito Santana

Sgt. Slaughter, Boris Zhukov, Orient Express

This is during the Iraqi Sympathizer period for Slaughter and the idea here is military themed. Before the match, Slaughter tells Gene about having a Thanksgiving dinner with the Mercenaries and not having to be inconvenienced by being in the desert. That’s better than being in the Army and eating K-Rations right? This was a pretty edgy angle at the time. Stupid but edgy. This interview is in the arena with the Mercenaries’ music playing. That must be a pretty dull period for the crowd.

The Bushwhackers torment Boris to start and the flying forearm from Tito eliminates him in about 20 seconds. Sato comes in and is accidentally superkicked by Tanaka. The Battering Ram puts out Sato and it’s 4-2 inside of two minutes. Tanaka comes in and the forearm from Tito makes it 4-1 in less than 2:15. Volkoff pounds on Slaughter with his usual stuff but gets punched in the face for his efforts as Slaughter takes over.

After a long beating, Slaughter eliminates Volkoff with an elbow. There were about three minutes of beating in between there but there was absolutely nothing of note to talk about. The Bushwhackers double team Sarge for a bit but Slaughter beats them down and gutbusts Luke for an elimination. A clothesline takes out Butch about 30 seconds later and it’s one on one.

Tito immediately dropkicks Slaughter into the post and things speed up with by far the two most talented guys in the match in there. Tito hits a top rope forearm for two and stomps away even faster. Piper is trying not to curse and Slaughter slams Santana’s head into the mat. A neckbreaker and backbreaker combine for two on Santana.

After some more beating, Tito gets a quick forearm attempt but hits the referee by mistake. The forearm hits the second time but General Adnan (Slaughter’s manager/boss) hits Santana with the flag and Slaughter puts on the Camel Clutch. The referee saw the flag though and it’s a DQ win for Tito.

Rating: D-. Well that…..happened I guess. They went through seven eliminations inside of eleven minutes and the match was awful. Basically this could have been Slaughter vs. either Volkoff or Santana and gotten the same payoff. I have no idea what they were going for here, but my guess is that they had nothing else to fill in fifteen minutes with (the show only runs two hours and twenty minutes and we’ve got the ultimate dumb filler to go).

Volkoff would leave soon after this but returned in mid 1994 as part of Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. Here he is against someone you may have heard of before on Raw, May 23, 1994.

Matt Hardy vs. Nikolai Volkoff

The Russian easily takes him down and rolls Matt up for two. A double underhook suplex drops Matt again as we’re in full squash mode. Matt hits some worthless forearms before getting slammed and Boston crabbed for the submission.

Volkoff went into retirement after this but came out for a few shows, including Heroes of Wrestling.

Bushwackers vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

I’m calling them the Bushwackers as they’re Luke and Butch, formerly the Bushwackers. There’s some guy with Volkoff but he’s another guy that is imitating a better manager. I’m just not sure who he’s imitating. We get the USA chant going, despite the faces being from New Zealand but this isn’t the smartest crowd in the world. The manager is dressed up in a Russian military uniform. Oh dear.

He speaks English with a so bad it’s funny but the show is so bad it’s not funny accent if that makes sense. Oh and Volkoff is now an Olympian also. We get the Russian National Anthem of course and the Persian clubs which are as old school as possible. The clubs become Iranian all of a sudden and we’re three minutes into this. Sheik needs to humble someone. It would be more entertaining.

We hear about Hogan and Backlund for no reason at all but whatever. That’s my word for this show: whatever. We’re at about 5 minutes of build for this disaster. I guess Bushwackers is a copyrighted term. Somehow they look better than anyone else. Luke licked my face once. Can we get the tape of the Bushwackers on Family Matters instead of me having to watch this atrocity?

Apparently they’ve won tag titles in 26 countries. Well ok then. The heels jump them early to start to further establish that they’re EVIL. Dutch explains the term short end of the stick which has some kind of scale according to him. Please, just take me now. Sheik gets on the mic and says if they keep chanting USA then he’ll leave. You know what comes next. The announcers argue about cutting each other off. I hate this show quite a bit.

They’re really trying to get this whole they’re Heroes thing embedded in. Can we just watch Heroes instead? Just the first season though as it’s by far the best. Sheik is wearing shorts also. The kicks they’re throwing aren’t even close at all. How much are these guys being paid? I guarantee you it’s too much. After a “slam” Nikolai covers Luke and Butch comes in for the save.

He doesn’t need to though as Nikolai reacts to the saving shot before it hits so there we are again. The camel clutch, which made British Bulldog tap inside of 5 seconds in 1986 is on for 15 seconds before Butch saves. At least I think he saved as we cut to a shot of the manager so for all I know Butch just did the Charleston for awhile and Sheik didn’t like his movement and showed him what to do. Who knows though?

I do however know that the manager raised his right arm. You can hear individual lines from the fans by the way. And I mean individual conversations, not just random screams. ANOTHER foreign object misses and Luke pins Sheik with the fastest count this side of Nick Patrick gets the three. The heels almost fight afterwards but they hug it out.

Rating: G+. That’s below an F-. This was stupid and bad. I think it was a comedy match but I couldn’t tell. They did manage to name the heel team The Iron Curtain though which I can’t believe no one got that before. We’re half done with this and I want to cry. Or die, either one. Getting humbled wouldn’t be bad either. When the Bushwackers are the best workers in there, that’s not saying a lot at all.

We’ll wrap it up with World Wrestling Legends: 6:05 the Reunion in 2006.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Jim Duggan

Oh dear. Sheik is with Volkoff here to really make this evil. Volkoff looks OLD. Cornette is having a ball here. Earl Hebner is the referee. When Duggan is in far better shape of two guys you know one is in bad shape. Duggan fights out of the corner and the Three Point Clothesline ends this in maybe 90 seconds.

In American wrestling, there will always be a place for a big Russian. While Volkoff may not have been the best ever at it, he certainly was one of the longest running ones in history. You could have Hogan punch the guy and slam him as many times as you would like and the fans were going to cheer it because they were AMERICANS. Volkoff wasn’t much in the ring, but he played a basic and important role.

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Championship Wrestling
Date: September 29, 1984
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bruno Sammartino

This is one of those shows where it’s a mix of matches from various arenas, hence the lack of a location or attendance. This is right before the wrestling world exploded with Hulkamania but the first steps have already been taken. The main event for tonight’s show is Piper vs. Snuka from MSG which was probably the top feud in the company at the time. Let’s get to it.

Carl Fury vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Slaughter is over like free beer in a frat house and takes forever high fiving fans before getting in the ring. Feeling out process to start with Slaughter slamming Fury down. A big middle rope clothesline sets up the Cobra Clutch for the easy submission.

UPDATE! Featuring tag champions Dick Murdoch and Adrian Adonis, known as the North/South Connection. We see them wrestling cattle down on Murdoch’s ranch in Texas. I’d love to see little bits like this come back in today’s WWE. They take like 30 seconds but add some character to the guys.

Buy the WWF Magazine!

Jose Luis Rivera vs. Kamala

Kamala chops him into the corner and throws him down but here’s Andre the Giant to stare down the Ugandan. After a longer squash than I was expecting, Kamala kills Rivera dead with a headbutt and the splash. This was a backdrop for the Andre stuff.

Aldo Marino vs. Bret HartT

Bret is just a guy in trunks here but he’s the featured guy, complete with a second T. An armbar takes Aldo down as we hear house show announcements from the Fink. More armbars abound before a hard elbow puts Marino down. A legdrop and clothesline sets up a piledriver to give Bret the pin. Total squash.

We go to break to the Ghostbusters theme.

House show ads.

Sgt. Slaughter wants your money to refurbish the Statue of Liberty.

Steve Lombardi vs. Dynamite Kid

Lombardi would be better known as the Brooklyn Brawler. Bulldog pounds away and gets two off a gutwrench suplex. A backbreaker gets two for Dynamite as Vince calls Lombardi a wet dishrag. There’s a missile dropkick and a nipup from the Brit as the crowd is getting into him here. A Swan Dive completes the squash.

We go to Piper’s Pit with guests Lou Albano and Ken Patera. Piper goes on a rant about how the fans’ heroes are afraid of Patera. Ken talks about coming back after three years because he loves this place. He tells a story about 4-5 people jumping him in an arena and locking him in a closet before slamming the door over and over on his arm. He’s going to find out who did it and take care of them. I don’t recall this ever going anywhere.

Joe Mirto/Joe Mascara vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

Joe Mascara? Who thought that was a good wrestling name? Was James Nail Polish taken? Volkoff does the Russian national anthem bit to rile up the crowd. Sheik sends Mascara into the ropes, meaning that indeed, the Mascara is running. Volkoff gets in a few shots before it’s off to Mirto vs. Sheik. The fans want Slaughter who has been feuding with the evil foreigners. Volkoff hits his gorilla press backbreaker, which I believe is used on the Coliseum Video opening sequence, for the pin.

Jimmy Snuka vs. Roddy Piper

This is joined in progress from MSG and the full version can be found on the Best of the WWF Volume 1. Snuka is down from a poke to the eye but comes back with chops to send Roddy to the floor. Back in and Jimmy hooks a sleeper but Roddy drags both of them out to the floor, finally breaking the hold.

Not that it matters as Jimmy posts him before taking Roddy back inside for a whooping. Roddy is busted open. There’s a headbutt and one of the most awkward looking high cross bodies ever, with the move connecting followed by Roddy staggering back into the ropes and Jimmy landing on the ropes before falling onto the floor for a fast countout.

Rating: C. The crowd was white hot to see Piper take a beating but with only three minutes and fifteen seconds shown, it’s hard to get into this. To be fair though, it’s also the most we’ve seen from a single match on this show so it’s hard to complain much. Roddy vs. Snuka was the hottest feud in a long time so this was a real treat for the fans watching this week.

Piper destroys Jimmy with a chair post match, sending him out on a stretcher.

We get a preview for next week’s show, including a Fabulous Freebirds match. I’m pretty sure that’s their only match ever in the WWF.

Overall Rating: C+. These shows are hard to grade as most of the matches can’t go anywhere due to the time restraints. We did however get to see (part of) a big feature match and both parties in the other top feud of Slaughter vs. Sheik/Volkoff. The interesting thing here was the total lack of Hogan. He was only mentioned in the WWF Magazine ad and never again. More proof though: there is wrestling other than Hulk Hogan.

 

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WWF House Show
Date: October 22, 1984
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Gene Okerlund, Gorilla Monsoon

This is a sequel to the previous month’s house show, as we have Hogan vs. Studd again, though this time if Hogan loses by countout he loses the title. Also after last month’s six man tag, we have the Samoans vs. Dick Murdoch and Adrian Adonis in singles matches. We’re still a few months away from the real kickoff of the Golden Era but things are rapidly picking up around here. Let’s get to it.

David Schultz vs. Salvatore Bellomo

Bellomo cranks on the arm to start but Schultz keeps going to the ropes for a break. David takes it to the mat but gets caught in a headscissors as the crowd doesn’t seem all that interested. Back up and Schultz takes over with a knee to the ribs as the slow pace continues. A hard clothesline puts Sal down, giving us this line from Gene: “That’ll jar your mother’s preserves.” Schultz hits a modified hot shot and a middle rope elbow for two. David goes off on Sal before finishing him with a suplex, complete with the slowest three count this side of a screwjob.

Rating: D-. Who thought this dull match was a good choice for an opener? I mean, a four minute match that ends with a suplex? Neither of these guys ever did anything, though Schultz had some potential until he screwed up on a news show by beating up the host when asked if wrestling was fake. Nothing match.

Afa vs. Dick Murdoch

Murdoch is one half of the tag team champions. Afa backs him into the corner so Dick begs for mercy. Murdoch is already on the floor for a breather as I sense a lot of stalling coming. Back in and Afa backs him into the corner again so Murdoch begs for more mercy. Oh yeah this is going to be a long one. Back in again and Afa grabs a headlock. Boy is he WILD! Murdoch misses an elbow in the corner and we get the same begging for mercy deal again. Back to the headlock as Gene and Gorilla try to understand the Samoan language.

Murdoch gets in a knee to the ribs but hurts his elbow when he hits Afa in the head. They lock up again and Murdoch blocks a headbutt with his forearms, only to injure his arms in the process. We’re five minutes into this match and I haven’t left out a thing. Right hands to Afa’s head hurt Dick’s hands and Afa no sells rams into the buckle. Now it’s Dick being sent into the buckle and out to the floor as this just keeps going.

Back in again and Afa cranks on the arm, which is to say he holds Murdoch’s wrist and stands there. Murdoch tries another headbutt and knocks himself down, because the joke wasn’t hammered in hard enough yet. ANOTHER headbutt from Murdoch hurts himself more than Afa, this time sending Dick rolling around the ring. An Afa headbutt gets two but Murdoch finally sends him to the floor to get something going. Hillbilly Jim is in the front row.

Afa is choked by a camera cable and Murdoch stomps away from the apron. Now Murdoch chokes with the tag rope. We’re ten minutes into this now and I don’t think there’s been anything of note at all. Murdoch pounds on the face and head with no effect and Afa takes over with a hard chop. An atomic drop has Dick in pain and another one is good for two. Some hard headbutts have Murdoch in trouble and another one sends him to the floor. Dick finds a bottle of some kind and a shot to the head has Afa in trouble.

Murdoch snap mares him down and drops an elbow for two. The kickout sends Murdoch into the ropes to a lot of frustration. Dick fires off right hands and hits the ropes, only to ram heads with Afa which has an effect on Afa now for no explained reason. Yet another headbutt puts Murdoch down and Afa rams Dick’s head into the mat for two as the time limit expires.

Rating: F. Read through the match again and you’ll get the idea behind this. The match ran about twenty minutes and had MAYBE seven minutes of “action.” In case you didn’t get the idea that was pounded into your skull, Afa had a hard head. When that’s the only thing you can throw out there for twenty minutes, your match sucked.

Murdoch wants five more minutes but gets headbutted down and bails.

Mad Dog Vachon, a spry newcomer at the age of 55, says he’s already a legend and now he’s going to take over the WWF.

Mad Dog Vachon vs. Rick McGraw

Vachon takes over with an armdrag into an armbar to start as Gene talks about his dog dying. Off to a headlock and then a top wristlock with McGraw fighting to his feet. Rick hooks a quickly broken headlock and they chop each other a bit. This is even more dull stuff which is the last thing this show needed. McGraw chops away in the corner and snap mares Vachon down for two. Mad Dog chokes a lot but gets caught by a dropkick. Vachon misses a charge into the post and a slam gets two for Rick. McGraw gets choked on the ropes for a bit and a piledriver gets the win for Vachon.

Rating: D. Another lame match here which somehow went nearly eight minutes. That’s the problem with the three matches tonight: there’s too much wasting time with almost no effort being put in by the guys. I know it’s a very different era, but at least make it look like you’re trying.

David Sammartino is proud to start tonight.

David Sammartino vs. Moondog Spot

Of course we start with stalling until Spot shoves him up against the ropes. Sammartino takes him down with a drop toehold and they look at each other some more. The small Sammartino shows off some VERY impressive power with a delayed gorilla press slam on the 300lb Spot. Well that makes up for the stalling at least. Off to an armbar by Sammartino and let’s look at Hillbilly Jim again.

Still in the armbar now as the crowd slips further and further into the coma. Gorilla keeps us entertained with stories of facing Bruno Sammartino in an HOUR AND FORTY TWO MINUTE draw where Gorilla lost 26lbs during the match. I can’t find any evidence that the match takes place, but the first rule of 1980s wrestling: if Monsoon says it, it’s the truth. The hold is finally broken and Sammartino punches him down into the corner. Back up and Spot takes him down with a kick to the chest. Chuck Wepner, the man who inspired the Rocky movies, is in the audience.

Sammartino avoids a shot to the back and takes Spot down, only to be caught by a knee lift. A middle rope fist to the back doesn’t have too much effect on David so we hit the chinlock instead. Back up and Sammartino runs over Spot but misses an elbow drop to put him back down. Two feet to Spot’s chest out of the corner put him down and David pounds away. An uppercut drops Spot and a knee drop gets two. They trade some lame near falls before Sammartino counters a powerslam into a small package for the pin.

Rating: D. Egads this was another dull match. As mentioned, this was mainly armbars which doesn’t make for an interesting match. At the end of the day, David just wasn’t very good, but having his last name didn’t make things any easier. There was no way he was going to come close to his dad’s success and he never got going as a result. Again, the lack of skill didn’t help either.

Tito Santana wants the title back but he wants revenge on Greg Valentine even more.

Intercontinental Title: Greg Valentine vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. Since when did Valentine have Lou Albano with him? Valentine took the title from Santana and injured Tito’s knee, putting him out of action, making tonight about revenge. Santana goes right after Valentine from the opening bell and knocks the belt out of Greg’s hands. Valentine goes face first into the mat as it’s all Tito so far. The fans are finally awake for this

Greg comes back with right hands but Tito wins the slugout and sends the champion to the floor. Tito is fine with beating up Valentine on the floor and brings him back inside to ram the champ’s head into the mat. Valentine finally gets a breather after raking the eyes and a knee sends Tito to the floor. Albano gets in a cheap shot of his own but Tito pulls Valentine to the floor to keep up the brawl. Valentine grabs a chair and THROWS IT at Tito but only hits the apron. They head back inside with the chair and Tito cracks Valentine in the head, busting him open. Somehow that isn’t a DQ but Tito throws the referee down for the bell.

Rating: C+. This was short but VERY intense throughout. Tito knew how to work a crowd into a frenzy and the New York crowds ate him up with a spoon. This was one of those feuds that was going to work no matter what they did and this was no exception. Also it woke the crowd up which was what this show needed more than anything.

Ken Patera vs. Rocky Johnson

Rocky is more famous as the father of the Rock. Patera, a strongman, hides in the ropes to start. Shots to Johnson’s head have no effect so it’s time for more hiding in the ropes. A headlock takes Ken down to the mat as we make sure to keep this slow in case the fans start being entertained. Back up and they collide with neither guy going anywhere at all. Johnson takes him down with a headscissors, which like most other holds tonight, stays on for a LONG time.

Patera escapes and throws him down near the ropes to pound away. We hit the chinlock as the crowd is still silent. Johnson bridges out of the hold but Patera pulls him right back down by the hair so we can stay in the hold for over two minutes. Johnson finally gets up and pounds away to fire up the fans a bit so Patera elbows him down to stop that cold. Patera avoids a dropkick but misses an elbow drop to put both guys down. Back up and Rocky tries an O’Connor Roll, only to have Patera roll through and grab the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. Somehow this is one of the better matches of the night due to it not sucking so badly. Johnson had a ton of charisma and was a much bigger deal earlier in the 80s but he was over enough here to get the audience to care. Just nothing of note to see here again though as the match had no energy to it until the end.

Sika vs. Adrian Adonis

Adonis is the other half of the tag champions along with Murdoch. Sika takes him down by the arm to start and kicks at the shoulder before sending Adonis to the floor. Back in for more arm cranking by the Samoan which of course goes on forever. Adonis finally kicks away but gets slammed down and put right back in the armbar. The hold is finally broken again and a clothesline puts Sika down. Adrian gets crotched on the top but pulls out a loaded glove, only to hit the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D-. To give you an idea of how nothing this match was, it ran nearly ten minutes. On average, each paragraph covers about four minutes of action. This match was covered entirely in less than half that space. After all the nonsense I’ve had to sit through for this show, they put this on as a follow up? How did this company explode in just a few months anyway?

Luscious Johnny V says he’s been around the world but now he’s back with a new client: Brutus Beefcake. Johnny even explains the name: he’s a brute, he eats beef and his opponents are a piece of cake. We’re likely in an intermission here to give the fans a break from the “action”.

Sgt. Slaughter talks about wrestling a lot of big matches over his career but tonight he has to prove he’s better than a Russian. It’s SO strange hearing Slaughter being all calm and reserved compared to how he usually sounds. Slaughter promises to win for AMERICA.

Ken Patera says he attracts controversy because he’s awesome. He has a hole in his arm and blames a black man for it. No one in particular, just a black man.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Sarge is WAY over. They shove each other around to start with Hillbilly Jim approving of Slaughter’s actions. Nikolai’s headlock doesn’t get him anywhere but he keeps it on for over a minute to get everything out of it that he can. Slaughter shoves him off and hits a hard clothesline to stagger Volkoff. The camera keeps going to a wide shot and it’s getting annoying. Nikolai gets in a shot to the throat to take over.

Slaughter gets pounded in the back and we hit a bearhug. Volkoff mixes things up a bit though by bending Slaughter forward and down over the Russian’s knees to crank on the back even more. Sarge fights out of the hold but more shots to the back put him down. Slaughter can’t slam Nikolai and gets rammed face first into an exposed buckle. A middle rope kick to the back of Slaughter’s head keeps him down and the American is bleeding a bit.

We hit the nerve hold for a good ninety seconds before Slaughter is sent into the corner for two. A knee drop gets two more for Nikolai but a middle rope version only hits mat. Slaughter fires off a slingshot and Nikolai is in trouble. The fans are getting into the match so Volkoff sends him into the corner and out to the floor to quiet them down again.

Nikolai breaks the count to stomp on the Sarge a bit more and ram him back first into the post. A backbreaker puts Sarge down again but Slaughter makes it back to the apron. Nikolai swings at him but gets caught in the Cobra Clutch from the apron, only to have Slaughter get counted out with the Russian in the hold.

Rating: C-. Dull match for the most part but the fans were so into Slaughter that it makes up for a lot of the boring parts. The ending was smart as well with Volkoff winning but getting beaten down at the same time. Given the drek I’ve had to sit through for over two hours now, this felt like Flair vs. Steamboat.

Brutus Beefcake vs. Tony Garea

Brutus struts to start before shoving Tony into the corner. Tony comes back with some right hands and a headlock to slow things down one more time. Back up and a cross body gets two for Garea and it’s back to the stupid headlock. Beefcake counters into a headscissors to really crank things up before choking away. Brutus pounds away but misses a charge into the corner, allowing Tony to get in some right hands of his own. Back up again and Garea gets two off an O’Connor Roll, only to get caught by a knee to the head for the pin.

Rating: D+. Garea is a good guy but Brutus wasn’t worth much at this point in his career. The match was kept short to prevent Brutus from looking weak which was a good idea, but it didn’t make it an easy sit. If it sounds like I’m rambling to fill in space here, it’s because this show has dulled my brain very badly.

The 11pm curfew is waived, meaning there’s basically no time limit to the title match.

Fink runs down the card for the November show. The card sounds even less interesting than tonight’s show. The only match of note is Salvatore Bellomo vs. Bobby Heenan, which Bobby would actually win clean. Oh and a No DQ match between Santana and Valentine. The crowd doesn’t seem to care other than the Santana match, so Fink mentions that Bruno Sammartino will be in his son’s corner to finally get the fans to care.

WWF World Title: Big John Studd vs. Hulk Hogan

If Hogan gets counted out, he loses the title. The place goes NUTS for Hogan and Eye of the Tiger. Studd jumps him during the entrance but Hogan no sells everything and punches Studd to the floor. Back in and Hogan easily pounds Studd down again but Hogan follows him to the floor this time. John gets in some cheap shots and sends Hogan into the post but Hulk makes it back in at nine.

Back in and we hit the chinlock before a middle rope forearm to the back puts Hogan down again. After another look at Hillbilly, Hogan powers out but gets kneed in the back to keep John in control. An elbow drop puts Hogan on the floor and Studd slams him down on the concrete. Heenan says to get Hogan back inside, which is anti-Brain thinking. Hulk makes it back in at nine and a shoulder block gets a slow two. It’s Hulk Up time and the champion blocks a slam. A forearm to the head and an elbow drop get two for Hogan (when do you remember Hogan only getting two? That NEVER happened) but a clothesline retains the title.

Rating: D+. It’s Hogan against a monster in the mid-80s. As a childhood Hulkamaniac, I can’t dislike this formula no matter what the match looks like. The fans went nuts for Hogan which was the obvious outcome, but let’s take a quick look at why. All night long, other than Tito and Slaughter, everyone has been reserved and conservative, but those three with Hogan in particular are INSANE out there, playing to the crowd and running around like a maniac. The fans respond to the different style and it makes the matches much easier to get through. Simple formula but it works every time.

Post match Hogan offers to put up the title against Studd’s $15,000 body slam challenge but John bails to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. As boring as this show was, it really isn’t terrible. It goes by pretty quickly, but it’s much more dull than bad. The Hogan/Slaughter/Tito stuff is good but the rest of the guys here were incredibly boring. It would take all the new names coming in soon to really boost things up. This was a transitional time for the company as you can see a lot of the old guard still getting a reaction but having bad matches, making it a dull show but profitable on name value alone.

 

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