Thunder
Date: December 20, 2000
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 2,872
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Stevie Ray

This is the final show for the year for WCW as the next two Nitros are canceled due to Christmas and New Year’s Day while next week’s Thunder is a Best Of show. Believe it or not, WCW is actually on a roll at this point, or at least as much of a roll as you can be on with one good show. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap focuses on the World Title situation which might be more interesting if Lance Storm was involved but instead we’re getting Steiner, Jarrett and another mystery man. Steiner’s last surprise challenger was Sid so this could be anyone from Rollerball Rocco to Flyboy Rocco.

Ric Flair is in the back of his limo and talks about how great the pay per view is going to be. The Mystery Man is hyped up again and we hear about tonight’s tag team battle royal.

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is challenging. Before the match, Chavo talks about being ready to face Shane Helms at Sin. However, if he somehow loses here, it would be a rematch at Sin and Shane would be left out in the cold. What an odd threat. Noble starts fast with a dropkick and slam before putting on a quickly broken up STF. Chavo is sent out to the floor and grabs his title but goes back inside so Noble can roll him up for two.

What appears to be a low blow puts Jamie down and Chavo’s dropkick gets two more. Jamie gets in a quick neckbreaker and fires off some right hands to send Chavo backing into the corner. Noble loads up a superplex but here’s Shane to hold Noble’s leg, allowing Chavo to send him down. A frog splash and the brainbuster retain Chavo’s title.

Rating: C. This wasn’t the most exciting match in the world but I’m really digging the storytelling here. It’s a basic, logical story that makes you wonder how Chavo is going to get out of this at Sin. That’s the kind of thing that would have done WCW a world of good in their main events over the last year or so. A lot of the time a basic story will give you more positives than almost any overly complicated story like a big swerve and a heel stable headed by a corrupt boss.

Crowbar is ready for Terry Funk at Sin.

Cat rides up to Flair on an ATV (Which you can WIN!) and asks for a match with Scott Steiner tonight. Flair, realizing that Cat has no chance of actually beating Steiner, is fine with this.

Bam Bam Bigelow is ready for Crowbar tonight.

Here’s Jim Duggan in street clothes with something to say. Duggan doesn’t want to take up too much of our time so we can get back to the show. He’s made a decision and it’s caused him some issues. About three months ago, it was decided that he needed to retire because it was past his time.

For twenty years, Duggan has shared his life with us because this is who he is. Then he made the mistake of turned his back on his country and gave up on everything. Now he needs to apologize for everything, including to his father, his wife and his children. Above all else though, he wants to apologize to the fans. After those twenty years, they deserve an apology because he can only hope they understand. I like the idea here and it’s another story that is always going to work but couldn’t this be used on someone with a bit more upside than Jim Duggan?

After a break, Duggan is leaving but Mike Awesome offers him a ride after the show is over.

The Natural Born Thrillers are ready for the battle royal and Gene Okerlund’s insults don’t seem to sway them. Stasiak insults Okerlund and that’s about it.

Hugh Morrus thanks Duggan and accepts his apology. There will be no taking Hugh’s beer though.

Tag Team Battle Royal

3 Count, Jung Dragons, Meng/Kwee Wee, Filthy Animals, Noble and Karagias, Harris Twins, Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak, Perfect Event

The winners get a title shot at the pay per view. The fight starts during the entrances and it only takes one member being eliminated for a team to be out. Yang is eliminated early to get rid of the Dragons and thankfully clear the ring out a bit, which would go much faster if there wasn’t a referee included.

Noble and Karagias go out next as those pesky cruiserweights are being cleared out. Everyone slowly beats on everyone until 3 Count is eliminated. This nonsense is getting ridiculous. Cue Vito to beat on Reno (standing at ringside with the Thrillers) and Johnny the Bull of all people to make a return and blast Sanders with a kendo stick.

We get a Mamalukes reunion as Meng is eliminated by the Twins, only to have them get eliminated as a result. We’re back from a break with Kidman/Mysterio, Jindrak/O’Haire and Perfect Event. The Thrillers clean house because it’s four against two meager cruiserweights. A dropkick eliminates Kidman so we’re down to the Thrillers….who split the win, basically repeating the same idea that 3 Count had in the ladder match at Starrcade.

Rating: D-. Make sure to treat those cruiserweights like they’re the most worthless things in the world. I mean you have SHAWN STASIAK out there to get a title shot and stand tall. The idea is fine but it’s really not going to hurt you to let some of the other teams look like something important on the way to having these two teams stand tall.

Sanders runs his mouth a lot post match. Apparently any two of these Thrillers will be challenging the Insiders but we won’t know until Sin. Riveting indeed.

Scott Steiner shouts that Flair doesn’t control him and he wants that Mystery Man tonight.

Konnan vs. Elix Skipper

Konnan does his catchphrases, which I really should understand by this point. They start screwing stuff up early as Konnan botches something off the ropes, prompting the camera to cut away to the crowd in a never good sign. Back with Konnan getting stomped down and put in a chinlock for a bit. The rolling clothesline and a reverse DDT put Elix down, only to have him get to the apron for a springboard missile dropkick. We hit the chinlock again because Konnan needs to rest three minutes in. A springboard legdrop gets two for Skipper but Konnan hits another rolling lariat and grabs the Tequila Sunrise for the tap out.

Rating: D-. And that’s ALL on Konnan, who looked like a disaster out there, barely being able to do anything without being worn out in a short TV match. Skipper was doing his usual stuff but Konnan is a big deal in another country so it’s time for Elix to lose cleanly. Thanks for the cool spots but drawing power from years ago is all that matters.

Jeff Jarrett is ready for Scott Steiner at Sin. I can’t believe we have to sit through more Jarrett main events. Was anyone asking for that?

The Misfits yell at Hugh Morrus over him accepting Duggan’s apology while turning his back on Chavo. Morrus says the difference is Chavo not realizing what he’s doing is wrong. Point to Morrus on that one.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Crowbar

Bigelow is still limping. Crowbar is quickly thrown into the corner for an Avalanche because what else is someone Bigelow’s size going to do at this point in his career. A huge toss sends Crowbar flying but Bigelow makes the mistake of screaming at Daffney who easily destroys him with some more vocal eruptions. Crowbar gets smart and goes after the knee before they take it outside. Bigelow sends him into the barricade but gets his eyes raked by the banshee, allowing Crowbar to chop block him down. Cue Meng to lay out Crowbar, allowing Bigelow to mostly botch Greetings From Asbury Park for the quick pin.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what’s worse: Bigelow going over Crowbar or the fact that these two just had a better match without weapons than they’ve had with them in what feels like years. These guys are capable of wrestling a coherent match with a simple story in Bigelow’s knee injury but for some reason they’re stuck with the weak weapons stuff most of the time.

Norman Smiley is still too excited about Glacier returning but is told he has a match. It’s a makeup match from a few weeks ago.

Norman Smiley vs. Goldberg

Norman is in street clothes. Goldberg actually gives him a few seconds before the spear and Jackhammer make it 33-0.

Shane Douglas pays Kronik off.

The sitdown interview this week is with Ric Flair, who won’t say who the Mystery Man is despite Tenay asking him over and over. Why Ric just doesn’t say “it’s a MYSTERY” isn’t clear. Flair praises Steiner’s abilities but says the title has a big target that comes with it. The title is all that matters though, unlike this interview which was the same stuff that Flair has been saying for weeks now.

Ernest Miller is ready for his title shot.

Shane Douglas/Kronik vs. Filthy Animals

Shane does the same promo he always does before the match, which to be fair still works well enough. Douglas is about to start with Morrus but brings in Adams before there’s any contact. I’m not a Shane fan but he knows how to use the most basic heel stuff to good results. Morrus clotheslines Adams and brings in Lash for an ax handle.

The dancing punches don’t seem to work so Lash settles for kicking Adams low. It’s not exactly a crushing blow however as Adams takes over with an easy slam and brings in Clark for the first time. Lash’s offense has about as much effect as you would expect so it’s off to Wall for a showdown that could set wrestling back a hundred years.

Clark uses a drop toehold of all things so he can tag in Shane for the reverse Hennig necksnap. Raise your hand if that’s the sequence you were expecting. Wall gets in a spinebuster on Shane as everything breaks down. Clark gives Lash a Meltdown for no cover, followed by Morrus slamming Shane and hitting the moonsault for two. Adams cleans house with a chair though and the Franchiser puts Morrus away to give us a reason for a rematch at Sin.

Rating: D+. This actually didn’t suck as they went with a simple formula until right up to the ending. Kronik as partners for hire isn’t the worst idea in the world and it’s a lot better than having them be paid off for half of a fifteen minute match and not being able to read a stopwatch. Douglas isn’t great either but he’s as good as any other midcard heel so him getting Morrus again worse as well as anything else would.

Post break, Morrus yells at the Misfits.

Here’s Team Canada with something to say. After the now traditional complaining about the Presidential elections, Storm rips on Duggan for turning his back on Canada. Of course cue Duggan again and amazingly the fans go INSANE with patriotism. By that I mean they do nothing and WCW pipes in USA chants. Duggan goes in for the fight and hangs on, only to have Mike Awesome come in and take him out to become the newest member of the team.

Post break, Awesome declares himself the Canadian Career Killer. I would have gone with the guy fighting to become World Champion because he’s the kind of guy that might get some attention because he’s an athletic freak but this is a major step up from That 70s Guy.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. The Cat

Cat is challenging of course. Steiner pounds him in the back and stomps Cat in the corner because this is Scott Steiner vs. the Cat. The Push-Up elbow gets two and a backbreaker allows Scott to yell at Ms. Jones. Cat comes back with a few kicks, including one to put Steiner on the floor. We get the catfight as Cat stays on Steiner, including a shot to the throat back inside. Never mind though as we get the spinning belly to belly, only to have the Mystery Man come out and distract Steiner, setting up the Feliner for two. A t-bone suplex sets up the Recliner and we’re done.

Rating: D. Yeah this was exactly what you would expect with the Cat basically getting destroyed and only a few kicks keeping this from being a squash. At the very least, and I do mean VERY least, Cat is able to work a match without looking like he’s about to have a mild heart attack during the match. That’s something isn’t it?

Steiner chases after the Mystery Man to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. They’ve had worse shows but it’s definitely a big letdown after Monday. This was all about the questionable decisions like having Konnan go over Skipper clean and WCW thinking Bam Bam Bigelow is anything but nostalgia in the year 2000. It’s a pretty standard WCW show for the time: a decent opener and then a bunch of uninspiring stories centered around people who aren’t all that interesting in the first place.

That’s it for WCW 2000 as the only thing left is a Best of Thunder show and I don’t think anyone is going to be wanting to read that. This year is definitely divided into different sections. The earliest part of the year, as in from the start up through Russo/Bischoff resetting things, is flat out boring. The stories weren’t any good and the shows were just big wastes of time as Sid held the title for months at a time.

Then it was the New Blood Era where we were supposed to buy that the younger guys were important, even though it was Jeff Jarrett and his thirteen year career running things for the new generation. The rest of the main event was all the old guys being treated as the heroes while the actual new blood was lucky to get a midcard title shot here and there. On top of that you had Russo and Bischoff turning the show into a circus as the fans turned away in droves.

Oh and always remember: Vince Russo is MANLY and can hold on in the Figure Four for over a minute because even though there was a problem in there, they couldn’t possibly change the story to protect the move and make Russo look like any normal person in one of the most famous finishing holds of all time.

Then Russo left and Booker T. won the World Title a few times and things got a little bit better, only to have him drop it to Scott Steiner (which was fine) to make sure the most technically sound main eventer they had went away. Booker winning was a genuinely cool moment as he remains one of the only people in WCW to have a traditional rise up the card before winning the title. After that, the show fell back into the same problems it had earlier in the year: boring stories, lame wrestling, the entertaining people being shoved to the side so the “draws” could get all the glory.

WCW was almost entirely dead coming into 2000 and their Hail Mary of Russo and Bischoff working together failed more spectacularly than anyone could have ever imagined. The company was more than living on borrowed time and they didn’t do themselves any favors by going with the things people didn’t want to see while getting rid of the stuff that wasn’t like the WWF. Yeah Raw was on fire at this point, but WCW was standing in the way of the flames to burn themselves alive. This year was nothing short of a disaster all around and a fitting way to set up the final months of the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night #270
Date: December 12, 2000
Location: Centurytel Center, Bossier City, Louisiana
Commentators: Stevie Ray, Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

It’s the go home show for the final Starrcade and the show is airing on a Tuesday, likely due to something else getting the regular timeslot on TNT. These recent shows have ranged from mostly missing to somehow shooting yourself in the foot, dropping the gun and having it shoot you in the other foot but hopefully things pick up a bit before the biggest show of the year. Let’s get to it.

This show was taped on Monday so any references to being live are pure falsehoods.

To show you how worthless Thunder is, here’s the same recap video that opened last Wednesday’s show. In other words: ignore anything on Thunder because the only show that matters is Nitro.

Lex Luger is granted a match by Mike Sanders.

Here’s Ric Flair to say we’re live (we’re not) and that we’re in Shreveport (Again not really, though the towns are about five minutes apart. Why not just have everyone say the same town?). Ric says Steiner and Sid aren’t going to come into any contact with each other in this arena. They’ll be out here talking but they’re going to hold the fighting until Starrcade. If they fight, it’s going to be a suspension and the title being stripped. As for Steiner, yeah he put Sting, Booker T. and Arn Anderson in the hospital but they could be here tonight to get some payback (I’m sure).

Sgt. AWALL is going to get a World Title match tonight and that’s finally enough to bring Sanders out to interrupt. Mike has a match of his own for tonight as the Perfect Event will face Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire and the Insiders in a non-title match. There goes Flair’s suit jacket and he makes Sid vs. Sanders. If Mike doesn’t wrestle, he loses his power and the Thrillers are barred from ringside.

Earlier today, Scott Steiner beat down Corporal Cajun until AWALL made the save to set up tonight’s title match. That’s better than I was expecting.

Sid is ready for tonight and for Sunday.

Jindrak and O’Haire have a monitor.

Disco Inferno insults Sarge so he yells a lot. So a guy famous for losing almost all the time is now one of the most intimidating guys in the company? That kind of stuff gets old in a hurry, but I’m not sure how many people remember Sarge in the first place.

Lance Storm/Major Gunns vs. The Cat/Ms. Jones

Before the match, Storm has an idea to make this more interesting: if Cat loses, he has to sing the Canadian national anthem on Thunder. Storm stops for the song and here comes Santa Claus (right down the steps instead of right down his own lane). That goes nowhere so here’s Cat to call Storm a Power Ranger. Cat makes the obvious stipulation of Storm having to sing if he loses too.

The women get things going with Gunns actually throwing a decent dropkick to knock her into the corner. Jones gets two off a spinning kick to the face and it’s off to the men. Cat dances out of a sunset flip and gets one of the loudest pops WCW has had in months. You could actually see the fans freaking out over the dancing. The Feliner gets two with Gunns (not Jones, Tony), putting the foot on the ropes. We get the catfight on the floor as Elix Skipper’s interference fails. Cat catches Duggan’s 2×4 and knocks Storm out for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who knew Cat was this over in Louisiana? Jones and Gunns were just there for their looks (not the worst idea in the world) and their wrestling was of course horrible. The Duggan thing is long overdue and I have no idea why they put him with the Canadians in the first place.

Jimmy Hart is starting a radio network and is ready to wrestle some Memphis DJ’s when Nitro hits the Mid-South Coliseum.

Hugh Morrus (yeah we’re going with that as the people are calling him Hugh most of the time) catches Lash Leroux (the gimmick names are mostly dead anyway) on the phone with Chavo. That’s fine with Hugh as he gives AWALL a pep talk.

Sanders adds Kronik to the three way dance, much to Reno’s annoyance.

Crowbar and Daffney are on commentary as Norman Smiley issues an open challenge for a hardcore match in the hopes that he gets a title shot as a result.

Meng vs. Norman Smiley

Meng has Paisley with him because that’s still a thing. Norman, complete with shoulder pads, gets stomped down in the corner as Crowbar is doing his Gordon Solie thing again. They head up the aisle with Norman actually getting in a few shots for some effect. Somehow DJ Ran still has a job (Why isn’t he fighting Jimmy Hart?) and a booth in the arena so the guys fight around there too. Santa tries to get involved so Meng drops him too, followed by some chops to make Norman scream. Norman steals Santa’s bag so here’s Santa in the ring to throw powder at both guys for a double DQ in a hardcore match.

Rating: F. That’s my standard rating for hardcore matches anymore because there’s no good reason to have guys like this (meaning Crowbar and Smiley) in this waste of time. I mean, they’re better than Brian Knobbs and company but there’s so much other stuff these people could be doing.

The blinded Meng puts the Death Grip on Paisley. Santa takes off the beard…..and it’s Terry Funk. Terry starts throwing chair shots but can’t put Meng down. Kwee Wee comes out too as Meng finally drops. Terry says he’s the real Santa Claus (Crowbar: “He’s my idol.”) and wants the Hardcore Title at Starrcade. Crowbar gets in the ring and the match seems to be on, earning himself a chair shot to the head.

Sarge is given Lex Luger on Thunder and Goldberg tonight.

The Harris Brother eat sandwiches because that’s a thing that actually exists in wrestling. We cut to the Filthy Animals, who put laxatives in said sandwiches.

Steiner promises to knock down anyone Flair sets up for him.

AWALL is ready and Morrus is fine with a war against Shane Douglas. Lash is facing Shane tonight but he’s using some of Chavo’s lines to Hugh’s annoyance.

Mike Sanders vs. Sid Vicious

Sanders is in street clothes and says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Not that it matters as Sid, also in street clothes, chokeslams and powerbombs him for the pin in about a minute.

Sid says the sucka ain’t got no class. Tony: “What is he talking about?”

Post break, Sid attacks a parking lot attendant and demands the keys to all the cars.

Kronik beats Reno down until Vito tries to make a save. The rest of the Thrillers come in to beat him down but Kronik isn’t cool because they thought Reno was a Thriller. Apparently there’s a tag match at Starrcade.

Insiders vs. Perfect Event vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire

Non-title and the announcers talk about the Harris Twins’ sandwiches during the entrances. Nash, O’Haire and Palumbo and it’s Kevin getting superkicked a few seconds in. Stevie: “What does he call that kick?” Tony: “The Jungle Kick.” Stevie: “……ok.” Nash clotheslines them down and tags Page in for the house cleaning. Jindrak and Stasiak come in and beat Page down as well but Nash quickly comes back in for the real destruction. Palumbo gets jackknifed but Jindrak takes Nash down to set up a Seanton Bomb. Now it’s Page coming in with a Diamond Cutter on Jindrak, only to have Stasiak hit Page with a belt for the pin.

Rating: D. So to recap: Nash and Page were against four young guys, all of whom are either current or former Tag Team Champions and it took a belt shot to finally put them away. As we’ve firmly established, these stories are designed to make the older generation look good at the expense of the next generation. I don’t know how this benefits anyone but Page and Nash but I can’t wait for them to get the titles back on Sunday and set things right with the world.

The Thrillers worked over Nash’s knee during the break.

Sid is moving cars around in the parking lot.

Sgt. Dewayne Bruce vs. Goldberg

Goldberg doesn’t know who he’s facing because Jindrak and O’Haire took his monitor earlier in the night. Bruce says they have to do this even though Goldberg doesn’t want to do it. Cue Luger to say to say it’s Goldberg’s career if he doesn’t fight here. Goldberg tries to leave anyway but Sarge hits him in the back. Goldberg still won’t fight back until it’s a spear to put him down. There’s no Jackhammer though so Sarge grabs his leg and demands it. Goldberg grants the request and it’s 30-0.

Sarge is carried out on Goldberg’s shoulder.

Jamie Noble asks Kwee Wee, Paisley and Meng for advice on how to deal with Evan Karagias. Evan runs in to say they all have to come see what Sid is doing in the parking lot.

Shane Douglas vs. Lash Leroux

Before the match, Shane rants about how he’s stuck here without Torrie because of what Morrus did. Lash takes him down in a hurry and pounds away at Shane’s head before a snap suplex gets two. A suicide dive sends Shane into the barricade and it’s time to fight by the table. This has been all Lash so far and the announcers don’t sound very surprised. Back in and Shane grabs a powerslam but it’s a double clothesline to put them both down. Cue Chavo to offer Lash a chair but the distraction lets Shane load up the chain. Lash hits Shane with the chair though and that’s a quick DQ.

Shane lays him out with the chain so here’s Morrus for the save and some yelling at Chavo.

One of the Harris Twins has a stomach ache.

Sid is still playing with the cars.

Mike Awesome is ready for his ambulance match with Bam Bam Bigelow at Starrcade. Thankfully he says he’s ready for the Career Killer to come back so maybe That 70s Guy is dead.

Jarrett and company are ready for Sunday but one of the Twins isn’t looking so good. Tony finds this HILARIOUS.

Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins vs. Filthy Animals

Elimination rules and it’s Konnan/Kidman/Mysterio. We’re not quite ready to go yet though as both Twins run to the back for some, ahem, relief. Konnan gets in an X Factor on Jarrett to start but the other Animals try to come in, allowing Jeff to get in a Stroke on Konnan for the elimination. Jeff’s music is quickly cut off because this match MUST CONTINUE! You know, because those are the rules.

Kidman snaps Jeff’s throat across the top rope for two but Jarrett suplexes Rey with one arm. A powerbomb plants Rey again but not before he tags Kidman in for a missile dropkick. The baseball slide low blow and the Bronco Buster have Jeff in trouble but the referee gets bumped. Jeff guitars Kidman but Rey springboards in with a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D-. This is a confusing one as it was fun while it lasted but I’d like to repeat the fact that the Harris Twins were out early because of an overdose of laxatives. Also you would think this match would be the big payoff on Sunday but why do that when you can have another hardcore match? The wrestling was actually good here but the story just crippled it, as is so often the case around here.

Video on Starrcade’s main events.

Sid almost has the ring of cars ready.

WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. Sgt. AWALL

Steiner is defending. Before the match, Steiner says Flair needs to thank Anderson for changing his mind about stripping the title. Steiner, in his deadly purple trunks, pounds AWALL down to start and we’re already seeming to be in squash territory. The comeback is quickly cut off with a belly to belly for two before Steiner throws him over the top. AWALL throws him over the barricade to put Steiner in trouble, setting up a powerslam for two back inside. A chokeslam looks to finish but AWALL would rather mess with the stupid table. That earns him a suplex through the table (good riddance) and the Recliner retains the title.

Rating: D. I can’t stand it when people do stupid things like AWALL messing with the table. It really does make these people look like the biggest morons in the world while also enforcing that relaxed rules nonsense. Even the WWF at the peak of its madness had some rules but this is basically ECW on a bigger stage which really doesn’t work.

Steiner chokes AWALL with the pipe until Sid gets up on screen and says since they can’t fight in the arena, come fight him in the parking lot. Scott heads outside to find a ring of cars ready for the fight because Sid may not be able to talk, but he can certainly park cars. After busting out a windshield for fun, Steiner hits Sid in the ribs with the pipe but has to fight out of a powerbomb. Steiner rams Sid’s head into the top of a car to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Bad wrestling, bad storytelling leading into bad matches and bad everything else (save for a decent angle with Goldberg not wanting to fight his mentor). This was a show that didn’t make me want to watch Starrcade but made me not want to watch WCW again. I know the running joke is that WCW was an old folks’ home but that’s exactly what we’re getting here. The biggest show of the year has three major matches and the only one with someone young is designed to make Nash and Page look good. It really is all about the old guard as we head into Starrcade near an all time low for the company.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Thunder
Date: November 29, 2000
Location: Metro Center, Moline, Illinois
Attendance: 3,800
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

We’re now in the post Stevie Ray era so I’m really not sure how well we’re going to be able to survive. It’s just such a sad world anymore and they might have to just close the promotion to let us heal. We’re rapidly approaching Starrcade and the main event is going to be Sid vs. Scott Steiner because we live in a random and chaotic universe. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Nitro’s highlights, which included Sid Vicious in a turtleneck.

Here’s Ric Flair to get things going. Ric praises the idea of Steiner defending the title against Sid at Starrcade but tonight it’s Buff Bagwell getting a shot. Based off what exactly? Anyway he brings out Sid, who says he defended that champion night after night (yes defended the champion). Sid has been watching from home and has seen Booker T. and General Rection take over in his place. Steiner is in the wrong place at the wrong time, which Sid somehow tries to tie into the Wright Brothers.

Shane Douglas wants the US Title so he can move on to the World Title. Torrie tells Pamela to not hate her because she’s beautiful. Pamela isn’t sure what to think of this and I’m much more on Torrie’s side here. Pamela is the hot blonde but Torrie is just on another level.

Lance Storm/Elix Skipper vs. Jung Dragons

Storm still has taped up ribs and seems to blame Duggan for the loss to Yang on Monday. The Dragons and Madden take turns oogling Leia Meow as Skipper rolls Yang up for two to start. Yang climbs the corner into an armdrag before it’s off to Kaz for an enziguri. The Canadians regroup on the floor so the Dragons do some impressions to entertain the crowd.

Back in and Storm kicks Kaz in the back of the head to take over, allowing Skipper to walk the ropes into a hurricanrana. Kaz flips out of a powerbomb though and kicks a seated Elix in the head for the tag off to Yang. House is cleaned until a low blow gives Skipper a near fall as everything breaks down. Storm crotches Kaz on top so Skipper can hit a good looking butterfly superplex. The women have the required catfight as the Cat comes out to take care of Duggan. A top rope backsplash/legdrop is enough to put Skipper away.

Rating: C. Fun match but the announcers still act like the idea of the Dragons beating anyone other than Noble and Karagias or 3 Count is unthinkable. The match was fine for a high flying fight though which is something often overlooked about Team Canada: as much as people remember Storm’s promos and catchphrases, both he and Skipper could go very well in the ring.

Storm yells at Duggan.

General Rection would love to fight Shane and AWALL wants Bam Bam Bigelow again.

Lex Luger vs. Norman Smiley

They bring Smiley back for this? Madden: “Luger has the body fat of a paperclip.” Tony: “A paperclip has body fat?” Norman gets in a dropkick to frustrate Luger early on, followed by a cross body for two. They head outside with Luger sending him into the barricade and gets two off a belly to back suplex. Norman comes back with the spinning slam and the spanking dance, only to have Luger forearm him low. The forearm sets up the torture rack to end Norman.

Rating: D. Again: they brought Norman back for this? That’s what Smiley gets for being talented and popular I guess, because somehow doing the opposite got Luger a two match feud with Goldberg of all people. As usual, WCW has no idea which people to push (not to say that Smiley should get a big push of course) as Luger has no business being there and it’s been obvious since the day he returned.

Post match Luger keeps Norman in the hold until Goldberg makes the save.

Bigelow calls AWALL a freak and wants to hurt him in a tables match.

Crowbar is getting a massage when one of the Nitro Girls delivers him a present: a golden pipe wrench. Ok then.

Reno and Marie are with Pamela, who asks if they’re dating. Apparently they’re actually brother and sister, which makes Pamela realize that Reno and Vito are BROTHERS. Somehow this was never mentioned before, though it shouldn’t be that hard for either of them to figure out.

Kronik seems to have a new client.

Jeff Jarrett has the Harris Brothers to fight the Filthy Animals.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. David Flair

Crowbar is defending and has that wrench in his belt. The regular belt, not the title belt. They fight over a trashcan to start and David actually gets the better of it early on. Therefore, it’s time to hit the champ in the face with a mop. Crowbar comes back with the wrench but the mop is right there for the save because they’re the exact same thing.

It’s time for a paint tray with Crowbar beating David out to the floor and putting a chair on top of him for a Vader Bomb. Flair comes back with a chair shot of his own but the Figure Four is broken up by with a cookie sheet. Just picture Dusty and Ric doing that and see if you don’t chuckle or cry at least a little bit. Crowbar pops up and hits him with the wrench for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. I’m still waiting on a point to this division other than giving the overly talented Crowbar something worthless to do. David is still insane and therefore not very interesting as you can only see that sort of thing so often, especially when the running joke seems to be that he’s not very good but tries so hard. Naturally since it’s professional wrestling, that sort of effort is to be mocked instead of rewarded or nurtured.

Post match Stacy Keibler and the trainer check on David, who wants to know about the wrench.

US Title: General Rection vs. Shane Douglas

Shane, with Torrie, is challenging and they get in their standard pre-match stuff about how much better they are than all of us. Douglas is smart enough to go after the knee to start and gets in a few shots to slow the champion down early. We’re already in the figure four so I can’t imagine this is going to go long. Rection gets the rope and starts his comeback, only to have Torrie come in and jump on his back. Somehow not noticing that it’s a smaller, lighter person or the long blonde hair, Rection drives her back first into the buckle. That’s too much around here and the match is stopped, likely setting up a rematch at Starrcade.

Ever the gentleman, Lieutenant Loco tries to get her out of the ring so the fight can continue but basically everyone glares him off.

Post break, Loco yells at Rection for not following up and a split is teased.

Filthy Animals vs. Jeff Jarrett/Harris Twins

Great, the Band is back together. It’s a huge brawl to start with Konnan staying on the floor instead of helping his smaller partners. We settle down to Konnan coming in to work on Ron’s wrist as we hear about Torrie getting crushed again. Rey bulldogs Ron down as Tygress goes on about player hating.

Don comes in to help on a double spinebuster and a swinging Boss Man Slam gets two. Naturally this warrants a talk about paying the Harris Twins in sandwiches because WCW. Konnan isn’t paying attention to a tag attempt from Rey so Jarrett knocks him off the apron. The referee tells the guys that they have three minutes as Kidman comes in to clean house. Everything breaks down and Jarrett guitars Kidman for the pin.

Rating: D+. That sounds like the mating call of a rubber match at Starrcade, likely with the guitar legal for a change. I really don’t think I need to make fun of this one all that much when the story revolves around the Harris Brothers being willing to fight for sandwiches. Even David Flair is more respected than this. Oh and somehow the referee doesn’t notice the pieces of the guitar around the ring.

Buff is ready for his title shot tonight.

Daffney returns to say she and Ozzy broke up so now she wants to be with Crowbar. He’s not so keen on the idea though and turns her down, even though it seems to make him very sad.

This week’s sitdown interview is with Stevie Ray because WCW actually thinks people care. We get right to the point as Stevie says no one has a brother in the business like he does. As usual I think I get the point but since Stevie is only a commentator, he isn’t the best at getting his point across. Stevie made his debut here back in 1993 and is one of the most successful tag team wrestlers of all time. Now he thinks he might start a drag racing team (which I believe he actually did) and thanks the fans for their support over the years.

Glacier is still coming back.

Sgt. AWALL vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Tables match and it’s Bigelow pounding away to start. A powerbomb is countered with a backdrop to send Bigelow outside but instead of trying to put him through the table, it’s time to brawl around ringside. Back in and a German suplex through the table……doesn’t count because both of them went through at the same time. Well of course they did. They head outside again so Mike Awesome can sneak in and blast Bigelow with a chair, allowing AWALL to put him through the table.

Rating: F. Are they even ripping ECW off at this point? I mean, last year with Sandman and Raven was one thing but this is even less interesting than that was. I’m also not sure why none of these guys ever bother going after the Hardcore Title. It’s not like what they’re doing here is really all that much better than getting a belt out of it.

Awesome wants Bam Bam Bigelow at Starrcade. Somehow that’s a big deal for Awesome.

WCW World Title: Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Steiner

Steiner is defending of course. Steiner gives Buff a chance to leave before the beating begins but Buff dropkicks him to the floor and sends him into the barricade. Back in and Buff’s right hands don’t get him anywhere as Scott ties him in the Tree of Woe for some choking. The elbow into the pushups gives us a signature spot as Madden does a bad Billy Graham impression.

The belly to belly gets two and it’s time to grab the referee by the shirt. Buff misses a dropkick to stop a comeback bid because he’s Buff Bagwell and this is a big match. A DDT puts Steiner down but Scott pops back up with ease. Cue Sid on the screen for a distraction though, allowing the Blockbuster to hit for two. Buff has to catch a diving Midajah though and a quick Recliner retains the title.

Rating: D. I actually like Buff as the one off challenger here even though he had no chance of winning because he’s Buff Bagwell and never actually won a big singles match in WCW. The Sid thing was a waste of time but then again so is Sid in the main event in the first place. Bad match but perfect for a Thunder main event.

Sid comes out to jaw with Steiner to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. They’ve just given up. You can clearly see that there’s no real effort being put into the writing (though the wrestling is tolerable at times) or storytelling and that’s caused them to hit a very hard wall. The younger guys are putting in an effort as they so often do but there’s only so much you can do when it’s Lex Luger, Scott Steiner with the horrible chinlock, Sid and the Insiders as some of the top names in the promotion.

This place really is just about the old guys and the worst part is that’s how they’re being presented: the older, cagey generation who is still around and hogging all the spots. There’s almost nothing here worth watching and it’s going to make the next few months much more sad than hard to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: November 1, 2000
Location: Bren Events Center, Irvine, California
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone

We’re out of October and things are…..well they certainly exist. For a few more months at least. Scott Steiner is still insane and chasing Booker T.’s World Title but more importantly WCW has made it very clear that Mike Awesome, the athletic freak, has no future as a main event player. It’s a good thing they caught that problem before it became serious. Let’s get to it.

3 Count vs. Jung Dragons

There’s almost no way this can’t be good. It won’t mean anything but it should be entertaining at least. Shannon doesn’t seem to like Evan hogging the mic but this point is dropped as we see Leia from behind to make the announcers way too happy. They don’t even bother waiting on the dives this time with everyone going nuts to start.

Jamie-San accidentally takes out his partners though until things settle down to Shannon vs. Yang with the former dropping a nice backsplash. It’s off to Jamie who misses a springboard legdrop, allowing the tag to Evan. This is treated as a very sudden issue in the band because that’s how plot devices work in wrestling. Yang pokes Evan in the eyes before Jamie accidentally clotheslines his partner. A double flapjack puts Jamie down but Evan tags himself in to steal the pin.

Rating: C. I can always watch these guys do their high spots and the storyline breakup is fine, but stop hammering it in like this. Would it have killed you to set this up over the course of a few weeks? I know it would have cut into Jeff Jarrett calling people Slappy but it might have worked a little better than inventing it in one night.

As you might expect, after the match 3 Count throws Evan out and Leia ejects Jamie-San. Jamie’s mask is ripped off to reveal…..Jamie Noble, who isn’t a thing yet. Jamie and Evan look at each other, possibly setting up a third team. Why not at this point? It’s not like they’re doing anything else.

Nash and Palumbo say Stasiak couldn’t cut it, suggesting that he’s off the team. That’s not a bad idea actually.

Bam Bam Bigelow attacks Crowbar, who just happened to be standing there waiting while a camera was on him.

Elix Skipper vs. Lieutenant Loco

This is still fallout from the parody and has nothing to do with the Misfits getting back the US Title or Major Gunns. Loco starts fast with clotheslines and a dropkick because what else is a midcard cruiserweight supposed to do. A pumphandle suplex gets two on Skipper but the Matrix is enough to let him take Loco out to the floor.

We finally start flying around with Skipper hitting a corkscrew plancha, only to have Loco suplex him again inside. Gunns finally does something besides show off her shorts but gets caught trying a low blow. The distraction lets Skipper load up the ring which goes upside Loco’s head during a sunset flip to give Elix the easy pin.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but it’s cool to see Chavo getting better and better every week. Skipper still doesn’t quite get the finer points but he’s more than athletic enough to make up for it. If nothing else though, I’ll take a heel beating a face instead of doing all the insane and screwy stuff we’re used to around here.

Chuck Palumbo vs. Shawn Stasiak

Nash is on commentary of course and talks about how this is going to settle all of the issues in the Thrillers. Actually there’s no match as we cut to the back and see Palumbo out cold. Nash is ticked but Stasiak claims innocence.

Post break, Palumbo gets checked out while the rest of the Thrillers promise to take out Stasiak tonight.

Bigelow says he’s back and wants Goldberg, only to have Crowbar attack him for earlier.

Video on Goldberg vs. Bigelow. First, did anyone want to see Goldberg vs. Bigelow again? Second, how convenient that they had this ready at a moment’s notice.

Mayhem video.

Boogie Knights vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman

Konnan is on commentary. Kidman and Wright get things going with a pretty sweet technical sequence that you would expect from these two. A nice headscissors sends Wright down and it’s off to the partners. For some reason Rey only throws a couple of kicks before it’s back to Kidman who gets beaten down in the corner. The Knights work him over for a bit as Konnan babbles in what is supposed to be English.

Some knees to the back have Kidman in trouble and it’s time for a surfboard. As usual that only lasts a few seconds so it’s off to an abdominal stretch for some additional time. Kidman hiptosses out after Disco gets caught holding Wright’s hand and it’s off to Rey as things speed up. Everything breaks down and Disco gets crotched in the corner, setting up the Bronco Buster. The Kid Crusher puts Wright away.

Rating: C. As not great as the booking has been, WCW has actually been putting together a very nice tag division around this time. You have the Thrillers on top and Kronik as the monsters with teams like these two filling in the extra time. Now you even have the three teams from the opener and the thing is really stacking up. Factor in the Harris Twins disappearing again and everyone wins.

Crowbar wants to fight Bigelow tonight. I thought we had covered that already.

Sgt. AWALL vs. Lance Storm

Actually never mind as Storm has found a replacement.

Sgt. AWALL vs. Meng

Of course it’s a brawl to start with only AWALL selling anything. Meng pounds him into the corner but gets taken down with a clothesline. For once Tony freaking out over this offense makes sense. A low blow stops AWALL again and it’s already time for a table. AWALL pops back up and chokeslams Meng through it for a big upset.

Storm yells at Meng post match and gets the Tongan Death Grip.

Vampiro and Jeff Jarrett are ready for the main event.

This week’s big interview is with Shawn Stasiak of all people because WCW has no idea what these things are supposed to be about. The interview is listed as from yesterday, which is either Sunday or Tuesday depending on how much you’re expected to listen to the commentary. Stasiak gets right to the point by talking about how he didn’t train at the Power Plant (thanks for finally acknowledging that) and was always the outcast. Nash may be a great talent (he is) but Stasiak doesn’t like this stuff from Palumbo.

This week on Thunder, there’s going to be a big surprise, which may or may not have been the attack which may or may not have been Stasiak in the first place. Stasiak wants to be the first former Thriller to be the World Champion. Given that none of them have yet, this isn’t impossible actually. Ignore the fact that Stasiak isn’t a wrestler anymore and hasn’t been for fourteen years or so.

Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley

They better not screw this up. Storm can’t do his usual yelling so it’s National Anthem time. Storm starts with a full nelson for a nice series of reversals, capped off by the start of a Big Wiggle. Oh how I missed that one. Norman’s sunset flip sets off a pinfall reversal sequence before Storm gets in a hot shot to really take over. Storm starts in with his usual well done stuff, including a suplex and legsweep before having his leg lock broken up with ease. There’s something so cool about watching two guys who are this skilled on the mat trading holds.

Norman climbs the middle rope for a jumping back elbow and gets two off a rollup. That’s enough wrestling though because IT’S WIGGLE TIME. Storm gets two off a northern lights suplex and they hit the mat for even more fast counters. A piledriver doesn’t work as Smiley backdrops Storm off, only to get caught in the Maple Leaf for the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: B-. I’m a sucker for this kind of stuff as they kept it moving fast enough to avoid being boring but showed off a lot of technical stuff at the same time. It would be nice if this was setting up a match against someone Storm could work off of but why do that when we can have Hugh G. Rection instead? Also can we get Smiley some more TV time? Would that be asking too much?

Meng has to come out and break up the Maple Leaf. This would mean more if he hadn’t gotten pinned in two minutes earlier tonight.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Crowbar

Bigelow drives him into the corner and blasts Crowbar with a hard clothesline. If there’s one thing Bigelow can do, it’s hit smaller people very hard. They head outside for dueling whips into the barricade with Crowbar actually getting the better of it. Something like a DDT gets two on Bigelow but he pops back up for Greetings From Asbury Park and the fast pin.

Booker isn’t happy with never pinning Scott Steiner so he’s willing to have another rematch at Mayhem with Steiner getting to pick the stipulation.

Jeff Jarrett/Vampiro vs. Mike Awesome/Sting

Jarrett doesn’t get why Ric Flair has been named CEO when he’s the only one with the stroke around here. Of course it’s a brawl to start with Awesome throwing Vampiro over with a belly to belly while the other two fight on the floor. The pairings switch places with Sting getting the better of Jarrett off some right hands in the corner. Unfortunately the announcers make sure to bring up the Halloween Havoc match for reasons I’ll never understand.

Jarrett backtracks up the aisle before sneaking back in for a cheap shot on Sting as a tag match breaks out amid the fighting. A double back elbow gets two on Sting and Vampiro kicks him in the face for two. The announcers bring up Sting flying off the video screen a few months back as it occurs to me that Nitro and Thunder are shot very differently.

On Thunder, the camera is mostly from ringside instead of the standard hard camera. It actually makes the shows feel different, aside from the fact that nothing happens on Thunder. Jarrett slaps on the required sleeper until Sting breaks free and makes the tag to Mike. Everything breaks down and Sting uses the ball bat to block a guitar shot. The Awesome Bomb is enough to pin Vampiro a few seconds later. STRIKE UP THAT 70s ELEVATOR MUSIC!

Rating: C+. This was about as good as a main event tag is going to get at this point and that’s really not saying much. After Sunday’s disaster it’s clear that they need to go somewhere new with all four guys but here we are again combining two feuds that aren’t interesting in the first place. At least the Awesome vs. Vampiro match was good but Sting vs. Jarrett needs to stop now.

Overall Rating: C+. Definitely a better show for the most part here as you can (in theory at least) see where they’re going for Mayhem. I’m not wild on a lot of the booking but that’s almost always the case with WCW. The important thing here is a lot of the action was good and a higher standard than what WCW had most of the time. Much like TNA today, when they cut out the nonsense and just wrestle, the shows are MUCH easier to sit through.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of the Intercontinental Title at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #170
Date: January 4, 1999
Location: Georgia Dome, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 38,809
Commentators: Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

We had to get here eventually. This is the show that a lot of people people credit with putting WCW down a hole that it was never going to get out of. The main event here is Goldberg vs. Nash II for Nash’s World Title, but the major story coming out of last week is Flair winning control of the company for 90 days by defeating Eric Bischoff. I’m sure that will go perfectly smoothly. Let’s get to it.

We open with dramatic clips from Goldberg vs. Nash at Starrcade.

Nitro Girls in the ring and we get balloons and confetti.

There’s a Nitro Party in a suite.

Hogan is here tonight.

Glacier vs. Hugh Morrus

The announcers go on about the end of last week’s show and explain why Savage would want to hurt Bischoff (Bischoff helped the NWO destroy Savage’s knee in a cage last year). Glacier’s now in a shorter singlet and the look really doesn’t work. Morrus throws him down to start until Glacier cranks on the arm to take over. Hugh grabs a powerslam and both guys are down. Glacier legsweeps him down but gets leveled with a clothesline, setting up No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin. Not long enough to rate but a nice return for Morrus after a few months off.

The announcers talk about Flair a bit more.

Opening sequence, finally with some new video.

Arn Anderson, Ric Flair and the Flair Family walk from the parking lot into the arena. A lot of the backstage workers applaud Flair on the way to the ring. They finally make it to the ring with Benoit, Mongo and Malenko joining Anderson and the Flairs. Ric talks about Eric Bischoff ruining this company but it still being the greatest wrestling company in the world. The people have been asking what Flair is going to do to Bischoff on his first night. Flair tells Eric to get out here right now to talk to the boss.

An angry Bischoff gets in the ring and Flair says the shoes are on different feet tonight. Flair talks about Eric insulting him over the years on commentary and running down Ric’s career. The easy thing would be for Flair to just fire Bischoff, but that wouldn’t be fun. Instead, Bischoff is going to be working under Tony Schiavone and doing commentary. Also since Bischoff won’t be visible on commentary, his pay is cut in half. Next up for Flair is referee Randy Anderson. Randy, stricken with cancer, was fired by Bischoff about two years ago. Flair calls him to the ring and offers him his job back at double the salary.

With Flair still in the ring, Tony walks Bischoff through the segment list. Bischoff’s disgusted reply is amusing. This leaves Flair with his first match to make. He’ll start with Souled Out, where he’s booking himself into a handicap match with Barry Windham and Curt Hennig. David Flair steps up and asks to be his father’s partner in the match. Ric says David isn’t ready but Arn says David knows what he’s doing.

Booker T. vs. Emery Hale

The needling continues with Tony telling Eric to jump in at any time. Hale jumps Booker to start and stomps away in the corner, only to charge into a spinebuster. The side kick sets up the missile dropkick and Hale is done in less than 90 seconds. Eric still hasn’t talked other than one sentence.

Nitro Girls.

Bischoff is looking away with his feet on the desk. Tony: “Don’t make me file a report with Mr. Flair.

Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo fires off chops to start and dropkicks Norman out to the floor. Eric still won’t talk. Back in and Norman runs Chavo over but stops to glare at Pepe. A World’s Strongest Slam gets two on Guerrero but he comes back with a few rollups for two each. The Big Wiggle allows Chavo to dropkick him down and now Chavo dances some as well. Chavo botches a springboard and then slightly botches a rollup for two. Back up and Guerrero grabs a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was just there for background noise as Chavo is still doing the same stuff he’s done for months now. Smiley is still over but I’m not sure why you would have him lose a match like this. I mean, this man was on Starrcade! Nothing to see here but it’s the first hour of Nitro so what do you expect?

Norman beats up Chavo and breaks Pepe’s head off to turn into a serious heel rather than a goofy one.

Chris Benoit vs. Horace Hogan

Benoit gets a jobber’s entrance. Horace gets beaten down in the corner but comes back with a running clothesline. Another clothesline misses and Benoit rolls some Germans as Tony threatens to demote Eric to the international broadcasts. Horace throws Benoit out to the floor and drives him into the barricade in a nice crash.

Back in and a clothesline gets two for Horace before Tony rubs it in that Randy Anderson is referee. Horace goes up but gets superplexed down. The Swan Dive connects but Benoit is holding his head instead of covering. Horace gets two off a shoulder breaker but his suplex is countered into the Crossface to give Benoit the win.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world and it’s nice to see Benoit survive until the end. Horace wasn’t terrible as a big guy for roles like this and the match worked well enough. That Swan Dive continues to make me cringe though as Benoit’s head just smacked off Horace.

And now it begins. Goldberg is arrested for charges that aren’t explained yet. He goes on a rant about all the good things he does for this community. Goldberg talks more here than he has in his entire time in the company. No charge is ever mentioned but he eventually goes “downtown.”

After a break, Goldberg is taken to a police car. Nash says this can’t happen because they have a match tonight. Hogan shows up and laughs, saying he’s an honest man and calling Goldberg guilty. He’ll appreciate Nash’s vote too. As he walks by, Liz is seen talking to cops.

Perry Saturn vs. Chris Jericho

Feeling out process to start with Saturn slapping Jericho in the face. Referee Scott Dickinson, who has been having issues with Saturn lately, yells at Saturn about throwing a punch. They trade wristlocks with Saturn getting the better of it before heading to the corner. A release overhead belly to belly sends Jericho flying and Saturn fires off kicks in the corner.

Saturn goes to the apron and Jericho nails the springboard dropkick to send him out to the floor. Chris does the long strides but there’s nowhere near as much energy to it. We take a break and come back with Jericho nailing a belly to back suplex followed by its vertical cousin for an arrogant two. Satur’s Death Valley Driver doesn’t work but a t-bone suplex gets two on Jericho. The referee gets hit in the jaw by mistake before Jericho pulls him in the way of a diving Saturn. A low blow and the Lionsault sets up the Liontamer but Dickinson calls for the bell before Jericho turns him over. Jericho wins.

Rating: C-. This corrupt referee nonsense is getting annoying in a hurry, just like Saturn getting beaten all the time. Jericho knew he was leaving at this point and it was clear that he didn’t have the same energy. He’s still doing his old standards but a lot of them are really lackluster.

We go to the police precinct, which Tony points out “is across the street at the CNN Center.” Remember that as it becomes important later. They’ll be in room three as the cameras are already waiting for them. Apparently Goldberg is being charged with aggravated stalking by Elizabeth Lebetski, more commonly known as Miss Elizabeth. Goldberg knows the cop and tells him to do his job because the cop knows this is bogus. I believe the charges were originally going to be rape but Goldberg refused to do it.

Nitro Girls. Larry gets in a good line about how these are real women, as opposed to Liz who has tried to be a Miss five times now.

Back to the Nitro Party where we’ve got thumb wrestling. Like as a featured event. A JAIL BREAK chant starts up.

We go back to the station where Liz is being interviewed. She says Goldberg last confronted her at the water cooler. Liz says she’s filed three reports already because Goldberg has been at every show she’s been at, at the hotels and at the gym. Again, this is more talking than she’s ever done in WCW. The detective goes off to talk with his partner.

Here’s a long segment of an LWO party with low riders, a lot of women and Eddie running things. They head inside for dancing to mariachi dancing and Eddie says he’s on top of the Latino world. Now there’s a card game with Eddie trading cards with other LWO members to win. Eddie says they’re united together and that’s about it. This ran nearly four minutes.

Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Psychosis/Juventud Guerrera

Tornado match. Well in name only as they start with tags. Psychosis nails an early backbreaker on Kidman before it’s off to Juvy who gets dropkicked a few times. Off to Rey for a nice top rope hurricanrana before he throws Juvy at Kidman for the sitout powerbomb. Rey pulls Juvy out to the floor but Psychosis gets in a shot of his own, setting up a slingshot legdrop to the floor to crush Rey.

Back in and Psychosis nails a top rope ax handle as Heenan asks Bischoff if he remembers calling the early shows with Mongo. Tony promises to deliver the World Title match they advertised. Juvy hits a backbreaker of his own on Mysterio before it’s back to Psychosis who gets dropkicked out of the air.

Everything breaks down which Tony says is perfectly legal. Kidman and Mysterio clothesline the LWO outside for big planchas off the top. Back in and a springboard Doomsday Device of all things gets two on Psychosis but Juvy comes back with the Driver for two on Mysterio. Everything breaks down again and Kidman’s missile dropkick accidentally hits Rey, allowing Psychosis to hit the guillotine legdrop for the pin on the masked man.

Rating: C+. This was the fun you expect from these kind of matches, but the tornado stuff was some combination of unnecessary and confusing. The referee and wrestlers didn’t seem to know it was under tornado rules but Tony kept insisting it was. It’s interesting to see some drama between Rey and Kidman as a match between the two could be awesome.

Goldberg has an explanation for why he’s always at the same places Elizabeth: they work for the same company and she’s a member of the gym he owns. The fact that they work together comes as a surprise to the detective.

Here’s Nash to address the Goldberg situation. He doesn’t think he beat Goldberg at Starrcade because Goldberg got screwed that night. Nash doesn’t buy the stories Liz is telling and thinks Hogan is behind it. Therefore, Nash wants Hogan tonight as a warmup for later tonight when he fights Goldberg. Flair comes out and says if Goldberg can’t make the match, Hogan can take his place.

Video on Goldberg vs. Nash.

Liz tells the original detective’s partner the story but the details are different (Coke machine instead of water cooler). The original detective comes back in. Goldberg calls her all the time but hangs up before anything is said. The detectives don’t ask how she knows it’s him and Liz rants about being the victim.

Here’s Hogan in a black suit with something to say. Hogan says the wrestling world still revolves around him but he came here to announce his retirement. He’s also going to announce his running mate but seeing Goldberg made him sick. Hogan thinks he owes the fans a retirement match so he’ll give them one tonight. Gene says the match would be a title match so Hogan agrees.

Schiavone: “Fans, if you’re even thinking about changing the channel to our competition, fans do not. We understand that Mick Foley, who wrestled here one time as Cactus Jack, is going to win their World Title.”

I get the idea WCW was going for with this line and the idea makes sense to a degree, but when you think about it there’s much more potential for harm than good. On the other hand, giving away results worked for WCW in the past so it’s logical to do it again, even in very different circumstances. The idea of one show being taped as opposed to live doesn’t make much of a difference to me though. A show being live or taped doesn’t matter if the show is still horrible.

We get a clip of Jericho praising Scott Dickinson earlier in the day and saying a wrestler should never touch a referee. Jericho says Saturn should get disqualified if he ever touches Dickinson again. Was this really necessary?

TV Title: Scott Steiner vs. Konnan

Both name graphics say Television Champion even though Scott is defending. Before the match, Buff dances a bit and fakes a heart attack to mock Flair. Konnan starts fast but gets taken down by a single forearm to the back. Some right hands in the corner and a clothesline put Steiner down and the fight heads to the floor. Tony repeats the Cactus Jack line and actually says HA HA at the thought of Foley winning the title.

Buff gets in some cheap shots on the floor before Scott stomps on Konnan’s head back inside. The announcers spend about half the match talking about how Bischoff isn’t going to say anything and about the Goldberg issues. Konnan comes back with a tornado DDT (looked more like he was trying a small package) before missing the rolling lariat and botching the X-Factor. Bagwell comes in for the DQ before the Sunrise can go on.

Rating: F. They botched a bunch of spots, I had to listen to unfunny jabs at Bischoff, and the HA HA line. Terrible match with commentary making it even worse.

Post match Konnan gets beaten down with a chair.

The announcers talk about the Goldberg situation. Tony again mentions that the precinct is across the street. Eric: “Goldberg is jail bait.”

Wrath comes out and actually grabs a mic. He’s been destroying people for six months and wants anyone in the back to come out here and take a beating.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Wrath

They stare each other down to start with Wrath’s shots only having a limited effect. A running clothesline puts Bigelow down but he low bridges Wrath to the floor. They head back inside with Bigelow nailing some elbows to the back of the head. Outside again with Wrath taking over with knees to the ribs. Bigelow sends him into the barricade and back into the ring before grabbing a chair. The referee moves the chair and the distraction lets Wrath nail a backdrop. They head outside for the third time and the referee goes down, causing him to throw the match out.

Rating: D+. Take two guys and let them beat each other up for awhile. It was barely a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s nice to see Wrath get to hang with someone of Bigelow’s caliber, even though this is a demotion for Bigelow. At least they dropped the idea of him not being on the roster.

They brawl to the back.

Back and the precinct, the detectives start poking holes in Liz’s story as she can’t remember details. The fact that she can’t remember the difference between water and Coke (or Pepsi, which she said she got out of a Coke machine), says a lot about Liz’s abilities. She keeps looking at her watch as she gets the color of Goldberg’s tights wrong. They threaten to charge her with perjury and Liz realizes she had the wrong wrestler.

Tony is aghast at these developments.

We’ve got roughly forty minutes left in the broadcast for Goldberg to get back to the arena.

Nitro Girls.

Bischoff waves to the camera as the announcers talk about the World Title match later tonight. Bobby says Goldberg will come to the arena without his clothes if need be.

Brian Adams vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Anderson calls for the bell, starts counting Adams on the floor, then calls for the bell again to start the match. Adams hides in the corner to start but Page hammers away with rights and lefts. Brian bails to the floor so Page dives over the top rope to take out both Adams and Vincent. There’s barely any selling though as Adams stomps away back inside to take over.

We come back from a break with Page fighting out of a chinlock as Tony brags about it being live again. A swinging neckbreaker puts Adams down but Brian nails a low blow in the corner to stop Page cold. We hit a bearhug and Eric says “by golly” for no apparent reason. Adams gets two off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Page grabs his running DDT to put both guys down. Page nails a quick clothesline and goes to the middle rope for a jumping Diamond Cutter and the pin.

Rating: C. The ending looked good but could have looked great had they stuck the landing (Page partially landed on his legs instead of his back but it was fine). Adams is good int his role as he has a few good powre moves and seems like a moderately difficult dragon for a hero to slay.

Goldberg is released from custody as we go to a break. We’ve got roughly twenty minutes left in the show and he made it from the arena to the station in less than ten minutes by car earlier.

WCW World Title: Kevin Nash vs. Hollywood Hogan

Nash is defending of course. Hogan is in street clothes and has Scott Steiner with him. Nash counters with Scott Hall, whose actions at Starrcade are apparently forgiven. The bell rings, Nash rips his shirt off, Hogan circles him for a bit, Nash says bring it and shoves Hogan into the corner, and the finger to the chest gives Hogan the title at 1:40.

Goldberg arrives less than 30 seconds later as Bischoff is already gloating. That’s not terrible as far as him getting back to the arena in a reasonable time. Goldberg hits the ring and kicks down everyone not named Hogan. Some of the weakest belt shots ever have Goldberg on one knee but he’s right back up to spear (almost zero impact) Hogan down. Luger comes out to break up the Jackhammer and the huge beatdown is on. Goldberg gets put in the Rack before being cuffed to the ropes.

Hall busts out the shock stick to jab into Goldberg’s side (with Bischoff providing sound effects). Goldberg gets the red spray paint treatment on his back and black on his head. Hogan spray paints a red NWO on the belt to close the show. Tony in a defeated voice: “They’re back together. Again.”

Overall Rating: D+. That’s omitting the big angle. This show just wasn’t very good for the most part with the usual array of boring Nitro matches that either meant anything or were nothing we hadn’t seen before. As usual the cruiserweight match was good but with Eddie being gone, it really doesn’t mean anything. This was far more boring than bad.

Then there’s the moment that people still talk about over fifteen years later. The idea of having Goldberg have to run through a bunch of opponents to get the title back is a good idea. Unfortunately, that’s about the extent of the good to this story. Let’s look at this one item at a time.

1. Why did Nash do this? He won the title fairly (remember that Starrcade was No DQ) and had the belt free and clear. Out of loyalty to Hogan? A man who as far as we knew, he had split with about nine months ago? We’ll come back to this later, but for now it brings us to the first major issue with this.

2. The title looks worthless. Nash had it all to himself and then he literally handed it over to Hogan, basically saying “I don’t want this. Here you take it.” If a big star like Nash says it’s worthless, why would I want to see anyone else fight for it in the future? How do I know that they won’t just hand it off to someone they think deserves it more?

3. Back to the first point, we could assume either it’s a massive swerve and that there never was a real split or the problems between the NWO camps were hashed out somewhere in between. Either way, it makes pretty much everything since May look completely pointless. The NWO factions going to war? All patched up. The bickering and people jumping from team to team? Doesn’t matter. Nash talking about how the Red and Black is forever and the Black and White was just for life? Nothing more than another catchphrase. Now everything is back where it was when Savage took the title from Sting and then lost it to Hogan the next night. That brings us to possibly the biggest problem of this whole thing.

4. IT’S HOGAN AGAIN. At the end of the day, Hogan is standing tall as champion with his army around him and it’s likely going to be months before anyone can challenge him. Yeah we’ve got Flair and Goldberg on WCW’s side and one faction is done, but we’re basically back to some point in 1997 instead of going forward.

5. While it’s not directly related to the story, the Foley match getting free advertising makes things even worse. If this is just a normal week in the Monday Night Wars, you could have watched one or the other. If you see the Foley title win, it’s an emotional moment with a new star being made and probably the loudest moment ever in wrestling. On the other hand, you have WCW doing the same stuff they’ve done for years with the same people on top and the same story being set up that we spent all of the better part of two years going through. If you don’t have that comparison to make, what happens on Nitro is nowhere near as bad.

Overall, it just wasn’t a well thought out move. There’s a nice idea at the end, but the rest of the story just does not work. Hogan just wasn’t what people wanted to see again and when you combine this with Bischoff beating Flair eight days ago, it was clear that the company wasn’t interested in listening to what the people were wanting. The time for the NWO being on top had passed, but WCW decided to go back to the well again. I understand that it worked once, but it wasn’t working this time.

To answer a question that is often asked, no, this wasn’t what killed WCW. It was a moment that hurt them, but overall the company had a lot more moments to come that would hurt and ultimately kill them. An important thing to keep in mind was that Nitro had won a night in the ratings wars less than three months ago. The WWF had been in far worse shape than this at times and it was hard to tell how much more steam Austin vs. McMahon had at this point. It didn’t turn out well for WCW, but they still had a lot more chances to make a comeback in the future.

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Thunder
Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay

New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?

Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera

Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.

Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.

Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.

The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.

General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.

Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.

Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.

Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.

David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall

Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.

The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.

Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.

Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.

Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!

Kidman vs. Elix Skipper

Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.

Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.

Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.

Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak

Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.

Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.

Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.

Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley

Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.

Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.

Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.

Vito comes in to break up the hold.

Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.

Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell

Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.

Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.

Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.

After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.

Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.

The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.

Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon

Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.

Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.

Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.

Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat

Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.

They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.

Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.

The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.

WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.

Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.

Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.

Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett

Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.

High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.

Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.

Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: May 31, 2000
Location: Idaho Center, Boise, Idaho
Attendance: 5,438
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

This is the third straight TV show where we’re coming in with a new World Champion, which isn’t even counting the mid-show title change from this past Monday. Maybe tonight we can start slowing things down a bit for a change. If we’re lucky, we might even get in some more Vince Russo stories! Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the multiple World Title changes from Monday. That really shouldn’t be a thing.

Opening sequence.

The ramp is on the left hand side. I don’t remember the last time that’s happened in WCW.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido

Funk is defending and Candido comes in dressed like Terry for no apparent reason. Before the match, Candido praises Bischoff for giving him the chance to become champion. Well you have to get that praise in there or else he might start feeling bad. Funk comes out and chairs him in the head to start and they’re already in the back, drawing boos because A, the live fans are getting ripped off again and B, they don’t have a camera ready back there. Was it so hard to say “hey we’re going backstage early so have a camera ready.”? Or better yet, and more likely “hey, they’re going backstage early so have that pretape ready.”

Funk dumps trash over both of them before hitting Candido in the head with a chair again. Terry throws him on the back of a flatbed truck and drives it away (car thief). It’s back to the announcers because they have no idea what else to do now. A camera crew finally catches up to them and they’re near a stable. Well of course they are.

Candido has had time to recover and he sends Funk into a bail of hay, the water trough and then some manure. They go into a horse stall and Funk grabs a piledriver but they have to leave before the horse almost kicks Candido in the head. Tony calls that the high spot of the night. And now, because we’re in a Vince Russo booked company and nothing has to make sense, there’s a table next to the stall. Terry slams him through it….and hits the referee with a trashcan. Then Funk wakes him up and counts the pin to retain.

Rating: D. Ok, first and foremost, this is a big upgrade over a lot of the hardcore matches because it was something different. Instead of the usual “I hit you, you hit me, we do a finish” formula, they actually mixed this up a bit and went outside the walls a little bit. That being said, they still did a table spot at a stable. That felt so stupid and out of place that it crippled whatever they had going. Was there nothing else you could do, like piledrive Candido on….I don’t know……THE GROUND?

Russo puts Cat in charge for the night. I think I could live with this.

The Flair Family arrives. How Ric got them back isn’t made clear of course.

Kimberly arrives and gets the paparazzi treatment.

Here are the Flairs with something to say. After some WOOing, Ric talks about how it took Russo and a ball bat to get the title off of him this past Monday. This is the first time his family has been in the ring with him but there’s no David. Instead, David is in the back somewhere with Russo despite having the chance to be someone in this business. Not because of his abilities or anything, but because of his last name.

Ric is going to have his chance to give David the beating he deserves soon enough, but tonight he wants Russo in this ring for a match. Cue Russo, David and security with Vince in sunglasses because he didn’t want his New York friends to know he’s in Boise. Eh good line. He had to have one in all the time he jabbers. Russo talks about returning the champ (meaning Reid) and the witch to Ric. He has a cold tonight but he’s still here, unlike Flair who took a week off with a headache.

Ric swears a lot and calls David even worse than Russo. Vince ignores him and talks to Beth, bringing up the John Lennon song Imagine, because Beth needs to imagine what it’s going to be like when David retires Ric at the Great American Bash. Ric beats up security guards and asks if Russo wants a fight tonight. Russo offers a father/son vs. father/son match instead and Reid agrees. The guards hold the Flairs back and David gets in a cheap shot with the bat and Russo adds a slap because Russo is cool like that. WAY too long here to get to the point but they had to get in Russo’s funny lines.

Kimberly yells at Cat over not having her needs met tonight. Cat stares at her chest and eventually gives her Mike Awesome to manage tonight for some TV time. For some reason Awesome is excited when Kimberly asks if he’s good at massaging her feet.

Back from a break and Cat comes into his office, only to find Kidman in his chair. They argue over Horace because we’re still not clear if Horace and Kidman are friends or not. Cat makes Kidman vs. Horace vs. Sting tonight and Torrie doesn’t seem happy for some reason.

Here are Awesome and Kimberly with something to say. Awesome promises to hurt Page even worse than he hurt Kanyon and that means being worse than a broken back. Kimberly suggests that the people applaud her and get annoyed when it’s not loud enough. She runs her mouth even more until a plant runs in and gets beaten up. Was there a point to any of this and I’m just missing it?

Cat gives Shane Douglas a World Title match as a thank you for all of his hard work lately. Ok, the title change streak has to end here right? I know the company is crazy but they’re not going to put it on Shane freaking Douglas.

Horace Hogan vs. Sting vs. Kidman

Wait is this a handicap or a three way? I know Cat said it was a three way but it’s never clear if the people making the matches know what they’re talking about. Sting charges down the ring and dives over the top to take out both guys. They head outside with Sting getting double teamed, allowing Kidman to do the Hogan hand to the ear. There’s a legdrop for two as Horace seemed fine with potentially losing the match.

Sting fights up and sends Horace to the floor but can’t get the Deathlock. Horace adds a Death Valley Driver but Kidman is smart enough to break it up at two. It’s table time but Horace hits Kidman by mistake. Sting comes back with Splashes and throws Kidman through the table, followed by a long run down the ramp to drive them both through the table again. Kidman is out so the Scorpion makes quick work of him to give Sting the win.

Rating: D. This was one of the more coherent matches I’ve seen from WCW in a long time and it was still a mess. Kidman vs. Horace is such a lame feud and I’m still not clear why they’re fighting. I mean, I know it’s because Torrie went with Horace that time, but has that ever been explained or addressed since? Not that it matters as Sting and the other Millionaires keep beating both guys and making them look like even bigger losers than they already are.

Kidman and Horace argue until Mike Awesome comes down to break it up.

Tank Abbott and Rick Steiner are ready for Nash and Scott tonight. Abbott hypes up his showdown with Goldberg on Monday. That’s the translated version at least as neither can talk to save their life.

Jarrett doesn’t like having to defend against Shane tonight and rants to Russo about it. Russo says don’t worry about it.

Ralphus and Norman still can’t find a job after their lawn mowing and babysitting endeavors have both failed. However, they see a sign for a backyard wrestling federation and the lightbulbs go off again.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Shane Douglas

Jarrett is defending but it’s not clear which title, as his graphic says he’s the US Champion. Even technology can’t keep up with Russo’s booking. Tenay and Schiavone talk about how they don’t recommend backyard wrestling. Heenan is more worried that Ralphus is loose in a neighborhood. Jeff cuts Shane off from talking and I’m suddenly a bigger fan. Shane stomps away in the corner and catches him in an atomic drop for no cover.

Cue the Cat to applaud Shane but Jeff steals his scarf and chokes Shane out. A powerslam and backslide get two each for Shane but the referee and Cat get in a fight. Shane hits the Pittsburgh Plunge but Cat throws a chair at the referee. With the ref down, Cat kicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Stroke to retain the title. So Cat just fixed a problem he caused in the first place. You know what? I’ll take it. It makes more sense than most stuff they do around here.

Page sits down with Tenay and talks about his history with Bischoff, but he doesn’t know how they split so far apart. He never saw this coming with Kimberly but not the person she’s become now. After talking about his book a bit (didn’t that come out like a year or more ago?), Page promises revenge against Awesome. Tenay suggests that maybe Page has caused all these problems and Page leaves. Well to be fair Hogan caused most of his own problems and is supposed to be worshiped in WCW so why can’t Page get the same treatment?

Cat gives Stasiak and Palumbo a Tag Team Title shot tonight and just for fun, the titles can change hands on a DQ. Shane runs in to yell at Cat, who says the devil made him do it.

Nash and Scott are on exercise bikes as the Freaks watch.

Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo

Kronik is defending and remember that the titles can change hands on a DQ. Adams and Stasiak start as Heenan talks about being on the radio where everyone was talking about Goldberg. I know it’s stupid and I know no one buys it, but points to Heenan for trying to make WCW sound important. We’ve spent months hearing WCW announcers rip on the company and basically treat the fans like idiots, but at least Heenan is trying to do SOMETHING positive.

Stasiak gets beaten down and it’s off to Clark vs. Palumbo. Tony calls him Palumbi as Chuck kicks Clark in the chest for two. As the announcers talk about Columbo (as in the cop show from the 70s), Clark’s tilt-a-whirl backbreaker winds up being a tilt-a-whirl back of the head breaker which thankfully didn’t break Chuck’s neck. Palumbo clotheslines Adams and brings in Stasiak who mostly misses a jumping back elbow. The not hot tag brings in Adams to clean house and there’s High Times to Stasiak but Adams hits Palumbo with the exercise bar like an idiot and we have new champions.

Rating: F. Other than Heenan, this was one of the worst matches I’ve seen WCW have in at least a week. For once though it’s more because of the blown spots and poor execution rather than the terrible booking. This was one of the only realistic ways to get the belts off Kronik and I like that they’re giving it to a new team….but Stasiak is still really boring and I don’t see that getting any better.

Kronik chokeslams the referee to blow off some steam.

This Week in WCW Motorsports. I think this is one of those things WCW has forgotten they’re paying for and it just keeps going because no one watches Thunder.

Back to the backyard wrestling where Norman is mistake for Booker T. Norman asks the champion champion (probably 14 years old) if he knows anything about amateur wrestling. That would be no of course so Norman offers to share some of his amateur background. After some basic technique, Norman demonstrates a three quarter nelson….and demands that Ralphus count a pin, making Norman the new champion. Norman and Ralphus run off with the title as the kids chase after them. These two continue to be hilarious and continue to go nowhere. Well other than up the street with the paper belt of course.

We get another sitdown interview with Eric Bischoff over whatever made he and Russo miss Thunder two weeks ago. Bischoff talks about making news and says we’ll find out at Great American Bash and McMahon can’t stop it. I’d love to see McMahon watching this show and chuckling while his pay per view for this month had Rock vs. HHH for an hour with Undertaker making his return with a new gimmick, Jericho vs. Benoit in a submission match and a triple threat with the other Radicalz. You have all that but WCW has another GAME CHANGING idea.

Vince Russo/David Flair vs. Reid Flair/Ric Flair

This is going to be ugly. Ric and David start (thank goodness) with the dad chopping away in the corner. He rips David’s shirt off for more chops (what a horrible father. I know Russo has ruined this company but I almost want to cheer for him over Ric.) but stops to yell at Russo. Since we’re in the middle of a match and Ric is a horrible father, he offers to let Reid have a three minute match with Russo. If Reid can’t pin him, Ric will leave the business.

The freakshow continues as Reid takes Russo down. There goes Russo’s jacket as Reid takes him down two more times in a row. After about two minutes, Ric comes in and beats on Russo, only to have David come in with more chops and a suplex. Ric and David fight to the floor, allowing Russo to smash a Statue of Liberty over Ric’s face. Back inside and some quick double teaming sets up the Figure Four on Reid, allowing Russo to cover him for the pin.

Rating: F. For the second time tonight, a grown man has pinned an adolescent. Not only is Russo coming up with nonsensical ideas but he’s repeating them in the same hour. For some reason though, I’m liking this better than having women being stupid and getting kidnapped over and over.

Ric wants Russo in a cage on Monday and threatens to call Ted Turner to get the match made.

Kevin Nash/Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner/Tank Abbott

The Cat is out for commentary as the good guys clean house to start. Scott suplexes Tank to the floor but that’s too much time without an announcement: whoever gets the fall here is #1 contender to the World Title. Rick kicks his brother low for two but we cut to the back to Jarrett, who says there’s going to be a DQ here. So this match has DQ’s as well? Rick’s cobra clutch is as lame as you would expect a Rick Steiner cobra clutch to be but his belly to belly is a little bit better.

Tank comes in for some punches (yes punches) before Rick comes back in to continue that cobra clutch. Scott finally grabs a side slam for two and makes the tag off to Nash for some house cleaning. A big boot gets two on Tank but Rick hits him low, setting up the third cobra clutch in five minutes. Cue Jarrett with the guitar to break up the Recliner on Rick but Cat makes it No DQ. A belt shot only gets two on Nash (of course) and he kicks a chair into Rick’s face, setting up the Jackknife for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D-. Another horrible match and another way for Nash to look like a world beater, even though I have no reason to believe he’ll hold the title if he wins it at the pay per view. Also, Nash vs. Jarrett is really the best idea they can go with? As much as I hate to admit it, yeah it probably is.

Overall Rating: D-. Somehow that’s one of the better shows they’ve had in a long time. They toned down some of the insanity in the first hour, but after Ralphus and Norman invaded a backyard wrestling federation (that was awesome), Vince Russo got to pin a twelve year old and treated it like a major win. The Great American Bash now has a BIG SURPRISE planned, thereby guaranteeing that it’s going to be underwhelming. Anyway, as usual here, the more Russo a show has, the worse it gets.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Thunder
Date: May 27, 2000
Location: Wendler Arena, Saginaw, Michigan
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan

So Jarrett is World Champion again after losing the title for a full week. The biggest change seems to be Nash moving in to the World Title scene, which is one of the least interesting things they could do, which is why we’re likely to see it happen. This company has to hit a wall soon enough but I don’t want to imagine what has to happen to reach that point. Let’s get to it.

Recap of Nitro’s latest title change.

Steiner and Nash arrive.

Opening sequence.

Cruiserweight Title: Daffney vs. Chris Candido vs. The Artist

Daffney is defending, likely because she’s associated with Russo on screen and that makes her important. Before the match, Candido talks about how great it is to be part of the first couple of sports entertainment. Tammy gets to strip a bit as this is already getting boring. Again before the match, let’s get some words from the champ. She’s in a black wedding dress because she wanted David to propose to her but she’ll take the ring in the arena instead.

We finally start the match with Daffney getting away from the guys, setting up a three way champion/managers showdown. Cue Miss Hancock as Candido powerslams Artist for two. A Samoan drop puts Candido down and Daffney gets a near fall on each. Cue Crowbar to fight Artist, which is rather stupid as it leaves Daffney alone against Candido. As this is going on, Tammy pays Hancock for her clipboard but hits Candido by mistake, giving Daffney the pin, because Tammy swinging a half inch thick clipboard is enough to knock a professional wrestler unconscious after he’s been wrestling for two minutes.

Russo whines to Bischoff about all of his problems. Does he do anything besides book bad wrestling shows and complain about how much his life sucks?

Norman Smiley are trying to sell shirts when Shane Douglas comes up to give them a Hardcore Title shot. Why did he do that? Because the show’s script said he should.

Kimberly tells Elizabeth to put lotion on her back. You can add “puts his female talent in life versions of his erotica” to the list of things Russo does.

Hardcore Title: Shane Douglas vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus

So Shane is officially Hardcore Champion after the New Blood beat Terry Funk down in a non match on Monday. We’re ready to go after Shane rips on Flair because he thinks people outside of Philadelphia actually care about that feud. Ralphus is in a gorilla suit (and I’m SURE it’s him and not someone else in a wacky surprise) which he wasn’t wearing and didn’t seem to have five minutes ago.

Naturally there’s something else to get to before another comedy title match as Bischoff says Douglas can’t give these two a title shot. Douglas takes Norman’s trashcan away and hammers on him to start. Ralphus’ cookie sheet shot has no effect so Shane beats on Norman with a trashcan lid, sending Ralphus out to the floor. Norman comes back with the spinning slam but the spanking dance is broken up by a low blow.

A neckbreaker and suplex get two on Smiley but Ralphus hits Douglas with a trashcan lid for no effect. Ralphus runs again but stops to pick at himself. Back in the ring and Norman collapses as Ralphus comes back. Some trashcan lid shots get two on Douglas and it’s table time. The chain to Norman’s head sets up a slam through the table but Ralphus grabs the chain and knocks Douglas out with a left hand for the pin and the title.

Rating: F. So to recap, Funk brought a gorilla suit (yes of course that’s where it’s going) on the off change that Douglas would get all cocky and offer Norman and Ralphus a title shot. We’ll of course ignore Funk not attacking Douglas in the multiple chances he had during the match but then again this isn’t the most complicated plan in the world.

Of course it’s Funk in the gorilla suit, meaning he’s the new champion.

Bischoff tells Cat to “Jackie Chan” Funk. At least go with Bruce Lee man.

Russo is talking to some old woman.

Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner are wearing goggles. Why? Not explained, but it makes for a funny random visual I guess.

After a recap of Russo vs. Flair, here are Russo, David, Daffney and the woman Russo was talking to. Russo says it’s time for another expose tonight, starring Reid’s sixth grade teacher Mrs. Snodgrass, who is every stereotypical old teacher you’ve ever seen. Apparently Reid was a hellion (her word) who would make rude noises. After more stories of Reid being a normal twelve year old, David grabs the mic and says he wants to fight Reid at the Great American Bash. For the love of all things good and holy, PLEASE let that match happen. It could be glorious.

That’s enough of the Flair story though as Nash comes out to advance another Russo story. He wants to kill Russo but so does this man: Scott Steiner. Nash and Steiner destroy security to get at Russo, who tells them to hit Snodgrass. This goes as well as you would expect so Nash and Steiner choke Russo down and demand a World Title match tonight. Russo makes a three way dance.

Jarrett yells at Russo, who can barely talk (HALLELUJAH).

Bischoff tells Douglas to deal with Funk tonight.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action

Elimination match because there’s no place for something like this on pay per view. Everyone brawls to start and Hammer (Stash. I’m not going to remember to change them to their new names most of the time so we’ll stick with the more familiar ones) throws Juvy at Konnan in a nice power display. All four Misfits splash Disco in the corner and he staggers over to Major Gunns for a kick low.

We settle down to Juvy vs. Chavo with Guerrera snapping off some chops. Guerrero is sent to the ramp but dives back in to take Juvy down and tag in Lash. Rey comes in for some rope running, followed by a side slam from Leroux. The dancing punches are good for two and it’s off to Juvy, only to have Disco sneak in and help on a double powerbomb to eliminate Lash. It’s Hammer coming in to throw Disco around with a spinebuster getting two.

Juvy tries to come in off the top but gets slammed down, setting up a horrible cobra clutch slam (you would think Juvy could jump better than that) for a one count. This brings Disco in with a kendo stick to clean house, allowing Rey to come in off the top with a seated senton to eliminate Hammer. Disco comes in and takes Chavo down with a swinging neckbreaker, only to have Chavo pop up and hook the tornado DDT for the elimination.

It’s off to Juvy whose headscissors is countered into a reverse powerbomb (always liked that move) for two. Rection’s moonsault is enough to pin Juvy and we’re down to Rection/Chavo vs. Konnan (hasn’t been in yet)/Mysterio. Cue Shawn Stasiak for no apparent reason but Booker debuts his fatigues look to clean house. A spinebuster plants Rey and the Misfits win just because.

Rating: C-. This could have been better but a WCW match getting nine minutes and only having two people interfere is a rare treat these days. I still don’t know why this wasn’t on pay per view but I’d assume it was so they could have three other matches in its place. It’s also nice to see that Russo has gotten in his standard stable wars within a bigger stable war, even though no one is really getting a rub out of this.

Bischoff tries to break up an argument between Kidman, Horace and Torrie.

Elizabeth shoves Kimberly and runs away. Don’t worry. She’ll be kidnapped again by the end of the show.

Russo is talking to Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott.

Shane can’t find Funk.

The Wall vs. Chuck Palumbo

Tables match. Wall suplexes him to start and lifts him up in the corner for some choking. Palumbo escapes an attempt at a slam through a table and elbows out of a chokeslam. The exercise bar knocks Wall off the apron and through the table. This was NOTHING. Like even by WCW standards, this was a waste of time.

Wall chases Palumbo to the back because a metal rod to the face through the table isn’t worth selling.

Kimberly is ordered to find Elizabeth. Why is Elizabeth such an important character on this show? She doesn’t wrestle, she barely talks, she hasn’t meant anything important in years at this point, yet she’s getting more air time than a lot of the champions in this company. Elizabeth is cool but you would think she was one of the stars of the show at this point.

Here are Bischoff (doing his airplane bit), Torrie, Kidman and Horace for a chat. Bischoff gets to the point and says that the music dies at the Great American Bash. Hogan’s music that is. Horace blames Hulk for ruining his career and it’s open challenge time.

Horace Hogan/Kidman vs. Kronik

Non-title and Bischoff is doing commentary because what else is he going to do? Clark chops away at Kidman to start and kicks him in the face. As Bischoff rambles about Hulk, Kidman comes back with a dropkick, only to get choked up against the ropes. Kidman comes out of the corner with a Bodog and it’s off to Adams for some more power. A sleeper is easily countered as Adams flips Kidman onto the mat, only to have Kidman come back with a hurricanrana.

Horace flips Kidman off when he comes for a tag so Bischoff gets up, only to be shoved back down. Horace gets a chair as Kronik gives Kidman High Times. Clark loads up Kidman for a chair but Horace turns (?) on him to lay Kronik out with a chair, giving Kidman the pin. The announcers have no idea if this was a title match or not.

Rating: D. Another bad match but Kronik is still a fun enough act. Kidman and Horace’s issues aren’t interesting together but most of that is due to Horace being as generic of a big man as I can remember in a very long time. I like the idea of pushing someone new, but there comes a point where it’s not going to happen. Put someone else in there and let it be over already.

Shane yells at Norman and Ralphus about letting Funk take Ralphus’ place. Norman says Funk paid double what Shane did but he’s already left the building. Shane punches Smiley and takes Ralphus to help him find Funk. So Norman and Ralphus, two guys with no money, wouldn’t accept a title shot without being paid for it? That’s how worthless the title is?

Shane brings Ralphus to the ring and beats him down until Wall, who is facing Shane at the Great American Bash in a tables match, comes out for a brawl. As Norman tends to Ralphus, Shane dives off the apron and gets chokeslammed through the announcers’ table.

Booker T. is with the Misfits and says he’s now to be known as G.I. Bro. I’m assuming this would be the idea that Booker was talking about on Monday when he said “tune in next week”. So now they can’t even wait a week for the GENIUS idea of G.I. Bro, which Booker had used years earlier.

Kimberly has security looking for Elizabeth.

G.I. Bro vs. Shawn Stasiak

Stasiak stomps the new guy down in the corner to start and chokes him on the ropes. They head outside with Bro hitting an ax handle off the apron, followed by a some right hands back inside, only to have Stasiak hot shot him. Back to the floor as Stasiak continues to search for anything resembling a good offense. Bro is sent into various objects before they head back inside and exchange clotheslines for two each. A powerbomb gets the same for Stasiak but he tries to bring in a chair, allowing Bro to hit his series of kicks, followed by the Book End for the pin.

Rating: D+. So it’s just Booker T. in fatigues. I’ve heard worse ideas, like having Stasiak get in this much offense when you’re trying to get over a new character or having Terry Funk win the Hardcore Title back two days after he kind of lost it or having Vince Russo as the centerpiece of your show.

Post match Stasiak hits him with a chair and beats Booker down, likely setting up a rematch at the pay per view. Or tonight in case Russo can’t wait to blow that hot feud off as well.

Mike Tenay is with Sting, who doesn’t think anything of Vampiro. Ten years ago he was just like Vampiro (no he wasn’t) but now that he’s grown up, he still has the fire in his eyes. Tenay asks about the inferno match and Sting calls the idea stupid. He’ll take the challenge though because that’s what he does. The lights go out and come back on to reveal the set on fire. You really didn’t need to turn the lights back on for that guys.

Kimberly is in the back for a talk but Elizabeth attacks her from behind and drags her away. This can’t end well.

Here’s Diamond Dallas Page with some biting commentary: Bischoff sucks. Well that’s one way of putting it. He talks about working hard to get where he is today and how Bischoff has turned his wife against him and Awesome injuring Kanyon (he’s way too calm about that). He keeps going on about all the things Bischoff has done to him when Liz brings Kimberly out by the hair.

Oh yeah this is going exactly where you expect it to: Page spanks Kimberly, giving Russo more fuel for his personal pleasure later on. As this is going on, Palumbo kidnaps Liz and I roll my eyes. That has to be the sixth or seventh time it’s happened and we’re still supposed to care? Anyway Mike Awesome pops up on screen in Kanyon’s hospital room, looking rather menacing. Oh well enough of that because we need to see people walking to the ring.

WCW World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Kevin Nash vs. Scott Steiner

Jarrett is defending and has Russo with him for commentary of course. As Steiner comes out, we’re told that Palumbo kidnapped Elizabeth AGAIN, meaning Russo has her again. I’m so sick of this story. Despite Russo’s voice being sore from the choke, he has to talk even more, this time making himself guest referee for the match so it will be an even playing field. They’re going to change the title on some wacky occurrence aren’t they?

Nash immediately chases Russo into the crowd (how manly of Russo to run with a sore throat), leaving Steiner to beat Jarrett up. The champ is tied into the Tree of Woe and Nash comes back to choke him. Russo and his security are on the ramp so Steiner goes after them as well. Russo’s bat is taken away from him but Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott show up on the stage with Scott’s freaks.

Scott goes after them, leaving Russo to go after Nash who promptly hits him in the face. Jarrett hits Nash in the back with a bat to break up the Jackknife to the boss. Back up and Nash hits the referee (Billy Silverman, who has been refereeing the match despite what Russo said) by mistake. Jeff misses a belt shot so Nash hits him in the face with the title. Russo pulls the referee out of the ring at two and hits him with a guitar.

Jeff blasts Nash with a chair and Russo counts two but since we haven’t had something going on for all of six seconds, here’s Steiner to run through Russo’s security, clearing a path for referee Mickie Jay. Steiner chases Russo off and Nash powerbombs Jarrett for the pin and the title.

Rating: F. To quote Gorilla Monsoon: “WILL YOU STOP???” Look at all the insanity in this match and then consider that it didn’t even run five minutes. Normally I would talk about how you should just have a three way if you want to have a three way, but such common sense is lost on someone like Russo. Horrible “match” of course because they couldn’t go fifteen seconds without something else happening.

The announcers treat this like the biggest title change in years. I could buy that if this wasn’t the sixteenth title change since the beginning of the year. That’s sixteen title changes (including vacancies) in less than five months. Let’s put this in some perspective.

Counting backwards from today (October 17, 2015), you would have to go back to Summerslam 2011 to see the WWE Championship change hands sixteen times.

Starting with the inception of the title (February 1991), the WCW World Title didn’t change hands sixteen times until November 1995.

Finally, starting at Barely Legal 1997, the ECW World Title changed hands exactly sixteen times until their final pay per view in January 2001.

So we have four years, four and a half years, just under four years, or less than five months in WCW 2000.

Overall Rating: D-. It’s the same old troubles as always as Russo can’t stop putting everything he can think of into one show. You had two title changes tonight plus the Tag Team Champions losing a match and maybe the titles (this would be the second time in a month where it’s not clear if we have new champions or not).

There’s so much stuff going on here that I’m desensitized to everything they’re doing. How can I feel the impact of Nash winning the title if I’m still reacting to Flair winning it just nine days earlier? There’s so much going on and no time to take it in, but Russo keeps making things faster and faster. The pay per view still doesn’t have an announced main event and the show is in eleven days. We’re in the dark days of Russo here as he has full control and is showing why that’s a horrible idea. I don’t want to imagine where it’s going to go from here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Nitro #229
Date: February 28, 2000
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,638
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden

The big story coming out of Thunder is that the old guys are actually starting to mix it up with the younger guys in the form of Dustin Rhodes vs. Terry Funk and Vampiro vs. Ric Flair. I fully expect WCW to screw this up as only they can, but it’s nice to dream for a little while. I’m sure Luger and Hogan will be here tonight to explain how things really work in wrestling. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the last week, with Kevin Nash thinking he’s Commissioner Gordon (yes of Batman) and Luger/Flair taking over the shows by beating up Hogan and anyone else who get in their way.

Sid arrived earlier today. Yes, he actually CAME TO WORK. Tonight he defends against Tank Abbott. Oh how this company continues to fail. Can’t we get some Greg Valentine title shots again?

Jarrett doesn’t care if Abbott wins because he has a guaranteed title shot. At least they’re wearing NWO gear now and Jeff has his US Title. They must be listening to me.

Opening sequence.

Tag Team Titles: Mamalukes vs. 2XS

The Italians are defending and the challengers tell Miss Hancock to stay in the back because she’s messing up their rat chasing. Lane and Idol start things fast but here’s Hancock for commentary as the champions take over. A kick to the head and neckbreaker drop Lane. Disco: “Why are you being so nice to her?” Madden: “SHUT UP DISCO!!!” The camera is smart enough to stay on Hancock instead of the match which sees both guys on the mat.

Idol comes in and cleans house as everything breaks down. Hancock gets on the table to dance (and keeps having to pull her skirt, if you can even call it that, down). Everyone but Vito (down) is distracted, allowing Vito to get up and plant Idol with the DDT for the pin. Tony: “Finally something happens in the match.” The match was short and we missed way too much of it looking at Hancock, making this one of the more entertaining matches in a long time.

Vito wants more dancing and Hancock is happy to oblige, only to have the Harris Twins come in to clean house. Thankfully it doesn’t seem that Hancock is with the Twins. They want a title shot.

We run down the card.

The KidCam sees Bagwell hitting on Liz. This is totally and completely different than GTV. This was also taped earlier as Luger, Liz and Flair are watching. Ric wants to take Bagwell out for this.

Bigelow picks Sid to beat Abbott tonight.

The Nitro Girls are at Ohio State as we’re getting ready for Spring Breakout.

Hogan, with his weightlifting belt back, wants a Yappapai strap match with Flair at Uncensored. You can hear the fans boo when he calls himself the greatest of all time.

Here are Flair (with another weightlifting belt), Luger and Liz with something to say. Flair yells about Hogan like the good old days when he was a psycho. Luger calls Sting a no-show (true actually) and says tonight the Stuff gets snuffed. Lex keeps going by ripping down Minnesota so here’s Curt Hennig of all people to challenge Flair to a match tonight. I haven’t heard Hennig this fired up in years. Flair says it’s on and Hennig promises to streak down the streets of Minneapolis if he loses.

Booker blames the tag team loss on Thunder on Kidman being on the floor with Torrie.

Torrie and Kidman want the KidCam back.

Nitro Girls.

Madden talks while Tony is on the phone. The results of the call: Sting will be here tonight. They needed a call to confirm that?

Jarrett promises to win the title at Uncensored and doesn’t know who Vampiro is. For some reason he specifies that it’s Uncensored 2000, as opposed to Uncensored 45.

Booker vs. Kidman

Imagine that: taking two young, talented people and having them fight each other in a meaningless match instead of building them up. Booker elbows him down for two but gets caught in a victory roll for the same. The ax kick plants Booker but here come the Harris Twins for the DQ.

Both guys take H Bombs and Torrie gets knocked off the apron.

Gene calls Cassius the mystery man. I know he isn’t a dirty old man now but I’d prefer that over stupid. Harlem Heat thinks you should have someone watching your back.

Lash Leroux thinks Sid wins tonight.

Here’s a clip of a guy with 28 inch arms at the Arnold Classic. Good for him.

Norman Smiley is going to beat up Dustin Rhodes for Dustin hurting Terry Funk. Anything new for Norman is an upgrade.

Hardcore Title: 3 Count vs. Brian Knobbs

Knobbs is defending after Finlay beat 3 Count on Wednesday. Brian fights all three of them off using the cast and everyone uses weapons. There’s a Pit Stop for Shannon and Knobbs throws him out to the floor. Tony mentions that this is a Night of Champions. Thanks for telling us that nearly halfway through the show. Moore gets powerbombed through a table but a trashcan lid shot and a dog pile is enough to pin Knobbs and give us a triple champion.

Vampiro wants to show Jeff Jarrett some pain tonight.

Knobbs wants a rematch. Finlay thinks it’s time to make 3 Count’s lives miserable, starting with a six man tag on Thunder with a surprise partner. It’s time to bring out the dog. Oh dear.

Norman Smiley vs. Dustin Rhodes

Dustin comes out to an instrumental version of his old “Well they call him the natural” theme. Norman is wearing full football pads and puts on a bearhug of all things to start. A cross body puts Dustin down but for some reason doesn’t cause him any major pain. Some dancing sends Dustin to the floor before the swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle. Dustin will have none of this fun and the beating is on. He drops Norman chest first onto the barricade, which should have no effect due to the pads but WCW in 2000 is stupid enough to defy science. Back in and a top rope clothesline is enough to give Dustin the pin.

Nick Patrick picks Tank Abbott. I’ll give them this: at least they’re trying to make this feel important.

US Title: Vampiro vs. Jeff Jarrett

Jeff is defending and has a bunch of women with him but quickly sends them to the back. Before we get to the match, we get a quick recap of Jeff guitaring everyone, which now cost him $10,000 apiece. They start fast with headlocks into headscissors but Vampiro starts firing off the kicks. That goes nowhere so they head outside with Jarrett dropping him on the barricade to take over.

Back inside and it’s Jarrett in control but Vampiro catches himself off a monkey flip. That earns him a clothesline as this has been almost all Jarrett so far. A quick Rock Bottom gets two for Vampiro and some small packages get the same, but here are the Twins for a distraction. Sid comes out to chase them off but the referee doesn’t see the cover off Vampiro’s Nail in the Coffin. Jarrett hits a quick belt shot for two (with the bell ringing anyway), avoids the guillotine legdrop, and hits a quick Stroke to retain.

Rating: D+. Notice the difference between this and Flair vs. Vampiro on Thunder: here Vampiro got in almost nothing until a bunch of interference screwed Jarrett up. On top of that, Jarrett pinned him clean. That’s not a good way to make Vampiro look good, but this was about setting up Sid vs. Jarrett instead of doing anything for anyone else.

The Mamalukes pay a guy to give the Harris Twins a package.

Ricki Rachman, an annoying tattooed guy who does promotional stuff, talks to Disco Inferno about 3 Count while sitting at a restaurant at Ohio State. Seriously.

Fit Finlay attacked Vampiro during the break. Why you ask? Not answered, just like when he did it on Wednesday.

David Flair dances with the Nitro Girls but Daffney catches him. I’d make a “well maybe he didn’t think she was watching like everyone else” but it was too easy. Everything is cool after a few seconds.

Cruiserweight Title: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea vs. David Flair

David is challenging and Crowbar is on commentary. Prince licks his own finger and points at David so David points back at him. Crowbar does an actually funny Gordon Solie imitation, getting in every catchphrase he can. Prince takes him down with some right hands but Crowbar shoves him off the ropes. David covers for two but the girls get in a fight, allowing Prince to hit his middle rope DDT to retain.

Sid has been attacked and a guitar is seen nearby.

The NWO leaves but the guy from earlier delivers the package to the Twins. It’s a dead fish. Eh I’ve seen worse.

Sid has been banned from strenuous physical activity. Well Sid hasn’t been strenuous in the ring for years so that should be fine. Sid comes up and says he’s fighting tonight, even though he’s dizzy.

The Cat vs. The Maestro

Cat insults some fat fans before Maestro comes out. Symphony carries out a boom box with the music Stro has to listen to as part of the bet. The boom box plays what sounds like 3 Count, Maestro freaks out and hits Cat with the boom box and gets the pin.

Liz and Luger have lost the bat.

Kidman picks Tank Abbott.

Ric Flair vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig slugs away in the corner to start and nails a backdrop, followed by some chops in the corner. Flair gets slammed off the top as this has literally been all Hennig so far. We get a ref bump because wrestling has gotten too complicated around here. The PerfectPlex has Flair in trouble but Luger comes in for the save. A low blow gives Ric the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a hard pairing to screw up but they came close with less than four minutes, a ref bump and interference. Either give them more time and cut out stuff like Cat vs. Maestro or…..actually just cut that match and give this match the time. There’s no real reason to not be able to give more than one match seven minutes or so, but they’re cramming so much stuff in here and it’s screwing up the rest of the card.

Meng, who can suddenly speak English, can’t decide who wins the main event.

More stuff from Ohio State.

Total Package vs. Buff Bagwell

Again. These two have fought more than maybe any other pair in Nitro history. So is Buff officially a face, even when he’s trying to steal someone’s woman? Some quick dropkicks have Luger in early trouble but they head outside with Luger choking away on the table. We hit a reverse chinlock back inside and Buff slaps the mat but the referee doesn’t care. How stupid does Bagwell have to be to not even blink when Bagwell taps the mat while in a submission? Bagwell gets his knees up to crotch Luger and makes his comeback, including a Vader Bomb for two. Buff goes after Liz but Flair comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. I’m sick of these two fighting, even when you set something up earlier in the night. The fact that it’s there to set up another Luger match because he’s still getting pushed for whatever reason doesn’t help either. Flair is the highlight of this team though and at least he’s willing to help build up some stars.

They load up the Pillmanizing but Sting returns for the save. Returns after being gone for a week that is.

WCW World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Tank Abbott

Tank is challenging and comes in on a motorcycle. Sid is wobbly with glazed over eyes. I’m going to assume he’s fine. His taped up ribs seem a bit more serious. Tank grabs a front facelock and shouts GO TO SLEEP. That goes nowhere so Tank punches him in the ribs, amazingly showing some psychology. We hit a reverse chinlock before a bunch of body punches put Sid down again. Back up and Sid grabs a sleeper which he turns into the Crossface to make Tank tap.

Rating: D. Well, they tried some psychology but it wound up being a bunch of punching and chinlocks until Sid grabbed a hold to retain. This could have been far worse, but I could have gone for them sacrificing Tank to someone who needs the win instead of the World Champion. At least it was short and made sense though.

Overall Rating: D. The shows have had a bit more energy in recent weeks, but that might just be due to me giving up on fighting. It is however nice to see the younger guys at least being moved up the card, though unfortunately they haven’t actually won anything yet. This week was better, but they need to keep pushing forward and get away from these horrible main events already.

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Thunder
Date: February 2, 2000
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Attendance: 2,323
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Scott Hudson, Bobby Heenan

The big story tonight is going to be the return of Hulk Hogan, who was casually announced to be coming back on Monday during a Shane Helms vs. Norman Smiley match. I’m not sure how much good Hogan can do to save this mess of a show, but at least he’ll do boring stuff with some extra charisma. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard recap of Nitro.

Here’s the NWO, complete with Scott Hall, to open things up. Hall can’t quite get HEY YO out so let’s look at the girls talking about what a sexy beast Scott Steiner really is. That brings us to still acting Commissioner Jeff Jarrett, who says that it’s still his job to make Sid miserable. Therefore, tonight we’re getting Sid in Triple Threat Theater. You cannot be serious. Like, tell me you didn’t just say that.

Somehow this is true, and here’s the lineup: a submission match vs. Mike Rotunda, a hardcore match vs. Rick Steiner and Caged Heat (could they at least try to hide their cries of PLEASE WATCH OUR SHOW) against the Harris Twins. Jeff repeats that he takes bribes, making me think this is the result of a bet to see how horrible of a show they can possibly put together.

The announcers run down the card, which will have nine matches total. Three of these will feature Sid Vicious. How much longer before this company goes out of business?

A limo arrives.

The NWO buys off referee Slick Johnson.

Norman Smiley vs. The Demon

In a line I think I’ll be repeating a lot tonight, let’s get this over with. Norman is in the Demon attire here but Demon comes out of his coffin to start fast. Demon rips his gear off Norman, revealing smiley face trunks. This earns Norman a suplex and a punch to the face, followed by a lot of growling from Demon. A clothesline in the corner staggers Norman, but he quickly goes behind Demon and hooks the Conquest for the win.

Demon, ever the salesman, shrugs off the submission and chases Norman to the back.

Lenny Lane and Lodi are now to be called Lane and Idol and are collectively known as To Excess. Yeah sure why not. As long as they drop the incest.

Sid Vicious vs. Mike Rotunda

Submission match because WCW thought making Kevin Sullivan booker was so important that we don’t have the Radicalz anymore. There is however one cool moment in this entire thing: an elderly woman is holding up a sign that says “90 year old woman needs a hug” and Sid hugs her. I know he’s annoying and being shoved down my throat but that genuinely gave me a bit of a smile.

Mike tries a go behind to start and gets elbowed in the face. Just like at Syracuse back in ’81. Sid pounds away in the corner but misses a running knee, allowing Mike to take him down and slap on a Figure Four. That goes nowhere so Mike tries an STF but Sid quickly makes the ropes. Back up and Sid hits a chokeslam but Mike but Mike hits him low. Well in theory at least as the camera cut away, because all of Ferrara and Russo’s schtick was fine but a low blow? That’s too far. Sid escapes a fireman’s carry and slaps on what is supposed to be a Crossface for the win.

Vampiro doesn’t have much to say but would like to face Kidman again.

We finally get brackets for the Cruiserweight Title tournament. These are updated after the first three matches.

Psychosis

The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Iaukea

Lash Leroux

Shannon Moore/Shane Helms

Cruiserweight Title Tournament First Round: Shane Helms vs. Shannon Moore

Feeling out process to start with Shane getting in the first big move with a suplex. Shane bails to the floor for no apparent reason other than to let Shannon dive onto him. That’s what a good bandmate should do. Sometimes you need a guy you can trust to dive on you. I hear that’s how Hall and Oates got together. Back in and Shane scores with another suplex for two but walks into a crossbody for the same.

We’re told that Madusa is in the building, freaking out Evan Karagias who is in on commentary. That’s one thing I certainly don’t miss about Russo’s time: not every match needs guest commentary. He LOVED that idea. Shane counters a sunset flip and slams Shannon down again, only to miss a corkscrew moonsault. Shannon’s big offense here? A snapmare for two. Oh come on man. You need a role model. Like Matt Hardy. Back up and Shane kicks him in the ribs but his neckbreaker is countered into a backslide of all things to send Shannon to the semifinals.

Rating: D+. A snapmare and a backslide? REALLY? We went from Mysterio, Guerrera, Malenko, Jericho and others tearing the house down to a snapmare and a backslide? The match was watchable enough but man, could we get more than one or two high spots in a match? Not a horrible match given their lack of experience on this stage and having about three and a half minutes.

They hug it out post match.

Madusa tells the NWO she wants a match tonight.

Hogan was in the limo. Again, you would expect this to be treated as a bigger deal.

Here’s Hogan for the big return speech for a big ovation. It’s definitely Hulk instead of Hollywood here, which is definitely the right move at this point. Hogan talks about having a chat with Goldberg and Sting about all the pre-taped scenes and the writers (oh geez) and now he’s here to get something off his chest. He’s tired of a bunch of young nobodies trying to act like they mean something. Ric Flair has been talking about taking the business back and for once Hogan agrees with him.

This brings him to Luger, presumably one of the young guys, who immediately comes out with Liz. Luger thinks Hogan is a coward, just like Sting who never comes out when Luger calls for him. We see a clearly fake Sting (complete with a wig) coming to the ring but Hogan jumps Luger before that can go anywhere. Liz gets an atomic drop (with Hogan barely dropping her) and Hogan ducks a bat shot to send Luger running. So that’s the co-main event at SuperBrawl I’m guessing.

Quick recap here: all the rookies suck, and all the veterans are awesome, except for that horrible Luger. This is the savior’s big return speech, where he rips the youth apart and basically says everything since he’s been gone has been a waste of time. Also, not a word about what happened at Halloween Havoc, meaning we’re never going to get an explanation.

Kidman and Torrie have the KidCam.

Jeff Jarrett talks to Oklahoma about a women’s division. We’re really doing this again?

Kidman vs. Vampiro vs. The Wall

The small guys go after Wall to start with a spinwheel kick and double clothesline putting him on the floor so we can have a talented (though worthless according to Hogan) pairing. Vampiro suplexes him down but Wall comes back in and blasts Vampiro in the back, followed by a gorilla press drop to Kidman. The double teaming continues but Wall shrugs off a cross body.

Instead, Torrie distracts the crooked referee (at least he has good taste), allowing Kidman to blast Wall with a chair. Those are completely no sold (concrete over steel I guess) so Kidman throws the chair at Vampiro and is immediately knocked to the floor. A chokeslam from Wall ends Vampiro to finish a fairly packed yet quick match. So after Vampiro and Kidman have two good matches, Wall gets the push. Raise your hand if you’re surprised.

Sid is ready for Steiner.

Lane and Idol want a Tag Team Title shot but the Mamalukes aren’t interested.

Sid Vicious vs. Rick Steiner

Hardcore match, and I can’t believe it but they actually bring up Sid powerbombing Steiner through the stage a few months back. Who would have guessed they could work a tape machine, let alone remember that? Steiner tries to get smart and is almost immediately clotheslined out to the floor. They fight into the crowd with Rick chucking a chair towards ringside, nearly wiping out a fan or two in the process. Maybe he can get fired! I’m willing to have a few fans suffer to get rid of Rick Steiner.

Rick can’t entirely suplex Sid onto a table but drops him on it anyway. Close enough I guess. We hit the front facelock on the outside after a devastating two minutes of not wrestling. A whip into the barricade and chair to the back…..seemingly fire Sid up as he comes back with a chair of his own and they head towards the entrance. Sid ducks for a backdrop but someone blasts Steiner with a bat, allowing Sid to get an easy pin.

Rating: D-. So let’s get this straight: Sid won the title twice last week in three matches in two days and now he’s having three matches in one night after winning the title? Who writes these contracts? Hogan only had to wrestle at three Starrcades out of the six he was around for but Sid can wrestle seven times in four shows?

This Week In WCW Motorsports.

Hogan leaves.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. The Machine

Now here’s an interesting case. Throughout the night there have been vignettes for the Machine, who is apparently coming. Machine was a masked man named Emory Hale (also spelled Hail at times) who floated around WCW for years because he had a great look and could conceivably be turned into a good monster. The problem was that even after years of training, he was one of the absolute worst workers in history. I distinctly remember watching this match for one very infamous spot and I’m curious to see if it’s as bad as I remember it.

Machine gets a big, overblown entrance with a silhouette entrance with Hudson wanting to know why the Machine is here. It’s not really that surprising. Everything else in WCW is stuck in 1986 so why not bring back the Machines? Machine shoves him into the corner a few times but Page grabs some armdrags to put him down. There’s the discus lariat followed by a Cactus Clothesline as Page is in full control. This has been acceptable so far and Machine keeps the level up with a low blow and snake eyes before jumping up and down to stomp Page on the mat.

A Russian legsweep with little snap gets two and a World’s Strongest Slam plants Page again. Now here’s the big moment. Machine goes up top, in the corner on the far left from the camera. That’s important as Page shakes the rope to crotch him, but for some reason he shakes the rope facing the entrance, meaning a rope that Machine wasn’t touching. This must have thrown Machine off as he jumps halfway across the ring to crotch himself on the ropes instead of just, you know, dropping down. Page hits two more clotheslines (his fourth of the match) followed by the floatover Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D. You know, bizarre spot aside, this wasn’t the worst match I’ve ever seen. The problem here is they built Machine up as someone important but Page beat him clean in four minutes. Page was getting back to the style that worked so well for him so maybe putting him nearer the top of the card could work. He’s old but at least he hasn’t been near the top of the card for fifteen years or so and is relatively fresh.

Arn Anderson says the Funk vs. Flair feud got him into wrestling. Wait what? I’m not the best NWA historian in the world, but is there another major Flair vs. Funk feud other than the one in 1989? I’m sure they had matches before (I can find two World Title matches between them in the early 80s and a tag match in 1985), but unless I’ve never heard of it, they never did anything major other than their famous matches. Anyway, Anderson respects both guys but he’s wanting WCW to stand up to the NWO and wants the two of them to lead the charge.

Villano IV vs. Tank Abbott

Meng is watching from the back as the Villanos try twin magic and are both knocked out in about a minute.

The Harris Boys talk about being NWO and show why you never hear them speak.

Funk asks Anderson whose side he’s on but Arn won’t answer.

Mamalukes vs. David Flair/Crowbar

Non-title and Crowbar starts with the Bull. Disco is on commentary again and asks a good question: why are these teams always paired together? As the match we’ve seen a few times already continues, we see Daffney go up to Ms. Hancock for watching the match, but let’s cut away from that and see Crowbar hitting a slingshot splash for two. That’s not the worst idea in the world.

Johnny comes back with a gorilla press drop and brings in Vito before it’s off to David, who is brought in by Crowbar throwing him over the ropes. Makes sense. David dances over to Vito and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. Vito comes off as a Saturday Night Fever enthusiast, which is possibly why I’ve always kind of liked him. Vito drops a middle rope elbow for two and it’s back to Johnny. The hiptoss into the powerbomb is enough to set up the tag back to Vito as the beating continues.

Vito goes back to the middle rope for a knee drop but David rolls away. Granted he rolled towards the corner and hit Vito’s knee because the idea of left and right is too complicated for him but at least he tried. Crowbar comes in off the hot tag and everything breaks down with Vito hitting the Impaler on David but Daffney offers a distraction. In the melee, David hits Vito with the crowbar to give Crowbar the fluke pin. Longest match of the night here at about 5:45.

Rating: D+. Disco brought up a good point: why are these teams always fighting? Is there no one else that you can put in there against the champions instead of Flair and Crowbar? You have a roster this big and they don’t have a combination to put together against the Italians? The match was watchable as long as Crowbar was in there and Vito was his usual self.

Sid Vicious vs. Harris Twins

This is inside Caged Heat because that’s how WCW thinks it gets ratings. They start fighting in the aisle and the Twins knock the World Champ onto a table. That goes nowhere so they try this cage thing with the Twins stomping away in the corner. A bunch of elbow drops have Sid in even more trouble and they clubber him down to keep the advantage. There is zero reason for this to be in a cage so far.

We hit the chinlock less than three minutes in and my goodness just close this company now. It’s early 2000 and I’m watching one of the Harris Twins chinlock World Champion Sid Vicious inside Hell in a Cell on a Wednesday in front of 2,300 people in Sid’s third match of the night. Sid fights back, throws we’ll say Ron over the ropes and powerbombs Don for the pin, wrapping this up in less than four minutes, giving him a total in ring time of about ten and a half minutes for three gimmick matches.

Rating: F. If you need an explanation, you fail as a wrestling fan.

Post match the NWO raises the cage and comes in to destroy Sid as the cage….doesn’t lower back, again defeating the purpose of the cage being there in the first place. Steiner puts him in the Recliner and Sid gets spray painted as Jarrett promises to make Sid miserable to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. There was some good stuff going on with this show but my goodness HIRE SOME NEW PEOPLE. WCW still had money at this point and there had to be someone out there they could snatch up. I know the main event is Valhalla and no one new is cracking into it, but get someone new to fill out the midcard. It’s a bad show but the main event stories are doing most of the damage. Oh and Hogan saying the young guys are worthless. That was bad too.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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