Monday Night Raw – April 1, 2002: Only An April Fool Would Like This Show

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was requested for some reason that I can’t remember. It’s the first show after the Draft and Flair is officially in charge. I’m assuming that’s the reason, but why anyone would want to see a show from 2002 is beyond me. Anyway, the main thing tonight is finding out where Austin is signing, and considering that pretty much EVERY face of value is on Smackdown, the answer shouldn’t be that hard. Let’s get to it.

If you’re interested in seeing how this show was set up via the Draft, here’s the review of it:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/10/11/monday-night-raw-march-25-2002-first-wwe-draft/

We open with Flair in the back holding the Undisputed World Title. He says this is the beginning of a new era and he’s going to do everything he can to ensure Austin signs with Raw. Also he’s going to present the new title belt to HHH.

Across the Nation debuts as the new Raw theme song.

The Titantron is the tilted one now instead of the regular rectangle. I think you call that a parallelogram.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Rob is defending. The idea that everything is new is being pushed strongly here. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking over via a hurricanrana. The stepover spin kick puts Booker down again but Rob charges into a hot shot to give Booker control. A knee drop sets up a chinlock by the challenger as things slow down. Van Dam comes back with some forearms and a monkey flip followed by the top rope kick for two.

Booker gets in a shot to the ribs but the ax kick misses. Rolling Thunder misses as well and there’s the Spinarooni and a side kick for two. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner gets two and a superkick puts Van Dam down. Booker loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and the Five Star retains the title. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C-. This was pedestrian to put it best. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it felt like they were just a step ahead of going through the motions out there. It’s not a bad match or anything like that, but even for a TV match this wasn’t that good. The ending didn’t help anything either.

Post match Eddie Guerrero returns after being off TV for almost a year earlier to beat up Van Dam.

Here’s Vince because he was gone from Raw for over six days and that’s too long. He’s here to pitch to Austin about coming to Smackdown. Security comes out but Vince won’t leave, so here’s Flair. Vince says money will talk with Austin so Flair throws Vince out. Vince won’t leave, so Flair says he’ll get Austin to come to Raw and we get a poll from the audience. Vince still won’t leave so Big Show comes out and carries him to the back. This accomplished nothing other than wasting about five minutes.

After a break we see more of Vince being carried out. What is the point of this? Vince has a mic with him for no apparent reason. He tries to take it back but Show literally throws him out of the building.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal is doing the brass knuckles thing at this point and slips them into a turnbuckle. Nick Patrick steals them back when Regal isn’t looking, so I’d bet on a fishy ending. Regal pounds Spike down with ease and beats him up for a bit with Spike trying to use speed where he can. A half nelson suplex sends Spike to the floor which goes nowhere. Back in Regal goes for the knuckles but can’t find them. Spike hits the Dudley Dog out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as no one cared about the European Title at this point. Not that the title was on the line, but it set up a rematch for the belt next week which Spike would win before dropping it back to Regal a month later. The title would be gone in July so it’s not like this mattered for the most part. Nothing match either.

The NWO goes to what used to be the APA’s office and take it over. Keep in mind that the APA broke up on Smackdown and left their office in disarray and it’s in the same kind of disarray here on Raw, even with the cards on the floor.

Crash tells Bradshaw what just happened and he’s not pleased. Jackie leaves with Bradshaw and no one cares.

Trish is getting ready by bending over when Terri comes in. Trish is on the cover of the Divas magazine and Terri isn’t happy. Flair comes in and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra is outside Austin’s locker room and says Austin will decide tonight.

Bradshaw tries to beat up the NWO but the numbers catch up with him.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Raven is defending. Bubba takes over to start and drops some elbows before sending Raven to the floor. Our first weapons: a bag of oranges. Bubba stops to juggle and then blasts Raven in the head. Bird Boy comes back with a crutch and we head back inside. The Bubba Bomb is countered by a low blow and Raven beats on Ray with trashcan lids. A sleeper from Raven is countered by a stop sign shot as Lawler talks about the paddle match. Apparently the girls will be in bikinis.

Ray gets two off a Samoan Drop but Raven sprays him with a fire extinguisher while Bubba is loading up the backsplash. Ray doesn’t get down though and after a trashcan lid shot to Raven, the backsplash ACTUALLY HITS but only gets two. Not that it matters as the Bubba Bomb gets Bubba the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C. To give you an idea of what the Hardcore Title was doing in 2002, Ray won his first title here and would win his seventh before May. The title would change hands over 140 times in 2002, and it was retired in August. Think about that for a minute. Anyway, this was the start of Ray being built up over the summer before being fed to Lesnar and HHH, which probably was the right move.

Vince is on the phone in his limo. He says he’s not leaving and he’s signing Austin tonight.

Here’s Flair with the Undisputed Title to present to HHH. Flair talks about how important the title is and asks HHH to come out here but instead it’s Undertaker. He doesn’t like what’s going on here because Flair is insulting him by doing this. Taker says he should be champion because he beat Flair at Mania. Uh…ok. The fans give him the WHAT chant so Taker says to say what if you like to sleep with your own sister. Audience: WHAT! Note to self: don’t go to Albany to pick up women.

Oh wait there’s another reason Taker should be champion: he beat HHH at Mania, a year ago to the day actually. Taker thinks that’s showing him up and disrespecting him. The big man takes off the coat but here’s HHH. I’ve always liked the Undisputed Title but the big eagle one, as in the Attitude Era title and the Big Gold Belt are just perfect looking.

HHH says he’s the champion and that Taker can’t beat him again. Taker asks for a title match at Backlash and HHH says it’s on. HHH wants to fight now but Taker bails. The match would never happen because Smackdown got the first title match on PPV. Obviously that begs the question of why this segment took place, and the obvious answer is it’s 2002 Raw.

Hardy Boys vs. Mr. Perfect/Big Bossman

That’s quite the heel team. The Hardys’ music sounds faster here. Apparently it’s just Boss Man now. Jeff is sent to the floor and the two dead guys double team the brothers. Boss Man and Matt start with the Hardy in trouble. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and starts drooling. Off to Jeff and the Hardys botch a double team move on Boss Man. To say this isn’t clicking is an understatement. A spinebuster from Boss Man gets two on Jeff as Matt saves. Perfect is sent to the floor and the Twist/Swanton pins Boss Man.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Hardys match I can remember in years. They just weren’t clicking at all out there and the match was a total mess. It’s hard to suggest that Perfect and Boss Man were the problem as they aren’t known to be sloppy. Nothing to see here at all and the match basically sucked.

Post match, Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys. He had only debuted two weeks ago so this was still new stuff.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole. They’re in bikinis and I think you can figure this one out for yourself. Trish wins in like 80 seconds. Nothing of note happened in between.

Molly comes out and beats up Trish with the paddle before Terri can get spanked. This is a heel turn for Molly.

Vince still can’t get back inside.

Austin wants Flair to let Vince in the building so he can hear Vince’s pitch.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Rock, Hogan and Kane getting ready for a six man. Kane: “Rock are you ready tonight?” Rock: “Well…” Kane: “IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU’RE READY!” Rock’s reaction is priceless, as is his reaction when Kane calls his fans Kannanites.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Pac attacks in the corner but Kane slams him down with ease. A gorilla press has X-Pac bouncing off the mat but he comes back with an enziguri to take Kane down to his knees. A sidewalk slam from Kane looks to set up a top rope clothesline but a distraction from Hall stops the big man. We head to the floor so the NWO can double and triple team Kane which somehow doesn’t get noticed by the referee.

Back in and Kane launches X-Pac through the ropes on a kickout, which is the problem with X-Pac wrestling guys Kane’s size: it’s almost ridiculous to think the offense is going to work. A missile dropkick puts Kane down and with Hall’s help, the Bronco Buster hits. Kane powerslams Pac down after shrugging off the offense and hits the top rope clothesline. Not that it matters as the NWO runs in for the DQ before the chokeslam hits.

Rating: D+. I know the guy is talented, but man alive I’m not a fan of X-Pac against bigger guys. This just didn’t work at all, just like their matches in 1999, as it’s hard to buy X-Pac as a physical threat to Kane when Rock can barely knock the guy down. Nothing to see here and the NWO never went anywhere on Raw.

Bradshaw makes the save post match. Kane’s pyro takes like 15 seconds to go off for some reason.

Vince is back inside.

Here’s Flair with a contract to offer Austin. Vince comes out with a contract of his own and I don’t see this being much of interest. Vince talks about his intellectual sperm inventing pro wrestling (I kid you not he actually said that) and talks about inventing Pay Per View 16 years ago (it was 17 when their first PPV aired but whatever). Austin finally comes out to shut Vince up.

Vince immediately sucks up to Austin by praising the new WHAT shirt. Austin doesn’t care but asks about Vince’s contract. We get the WHAT stuff for a bit when it was still relatively new. Austin reminds Vince of all the issues they’ve had in the past and asks Flair if Flair wants Austin to come to Raw. After doing his best Daniel Bryan impression and saying YES about ten times, Flair gets nowhere. Both offers intrigue Austin but he agrees to sign with Vince. Vince gloats but Austin reminds him that it’s April Fool’s Day and there’s a Stunner for Vince. Austin and Flair drink, Flair gets stunned, Austin signs with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Read those last two paragraphs. That took almost thirteen minutes to get through. That sums up this whole show: a lot of time being wasted with almost nothing at all being accomplished. Raw in 2002 was nothing but a nightmare with Austin being the only top face on the show and he was a shell of his former self. The Brand Split took a long time to work and it never got to a point where it was great at all. Terrible show here with short and bad matches and an ending that doesn’t mean much of anything, given how obvious it was that Austin was coming to Raw.




Monday Nitro – April 14, 1997: They’re in Philadelphia The Night After Barely Legal. You Do The Math.

Monday Nitro #83
Date: April 14, 1997
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay

These are taking longer than I was hoping and now that I’ve got more time on my hands due to being done with the PPV reviews, I’ll be doing four of these at a time instead of two in a row. Also I kind of like these shows more than some of the WWF shows I’ve been doing so it’s more fun for me this way. This is another of the ten matches deep cards tonight but I wouldn’t bet on there being much going on here tonight with the big names. Let’s get to it.

Oh and by the way: we’re in Philadelphia the night after ECW’s Barely Legal. I wonder if we’ll hear a certain chant tonight.

We open with a recap of Nash and Hogan having their summit last week, as well as Sting lowering from the rafters to chase off the NWO.

Apparently Luger wants his earned title shot tonight. This brings the NWO to the announce desk (no Hogan). Nash says that if Luger wants the shot, he has to beat Nash tonight.

Chris Benoit vs. Barbarian

The place erupts for Benoit. Granted it may be for that awesome Horsemen theme. I could listen to that all day. Benoit is on fire to start and takes Barbarian down, hitting a sunset flip and northern lights suplex for two. Jimmy trips up Benoit on the floor and gets punched in the face for his efforts. For Benoit’s efforts though, Barbarian kicks him in the face. Advantage Barbarian.

Back in the ring Benoit snaps off a German but gets crotched on the top. Barbarian hits a BIG overhead belly to belly superplex for two. The savage (Barbarian I mean) misses a swan dive before Benoit hits his own for the pin. For a two and a half minute match, this was AWESOME.

Post match the Dungeon comes in and destroys Benoit until the Horsemen make the save. Benoit says that he’s going to destroy Sullivan before Sullivan destroys him. This feud has been going on for what, almost a year now?

US Title: Hector Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko

Dean gets a huge reaction of course. Apparently Bischoff is going to get a decision made on his future next week. They fight over a wristlock to start followed by some very fast near falls. Dean finally takes him down with a drop toehold and puts on a chinlock. Hector counters an abdominal stretch to send Dean to the floor and follows him out with kind of a standing Vader Bomb onto Dean. Sunset flip back in gets two for the challenger (Guerrero in case you’re rather slow) but Dean powerbombs him down and puts on the Cloverleaf for the tap out. Another short but very fast paced match.

Eddie comes out to save despite his arm being in a sling.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Reggie White is here and will fight McMichael at some point in the near future. They fight over a wristlock to start until Juvy hits a spin kick to the face to take over. Rey counters into a kind of reverse crucifix backbreaker and the fans start the first loud ECW chant of the night. Rey headscissors him over the top and out to the floor where both guys are down.

As Mysterio gets back in, Juvy powerbombs him off the apron and back to the floor. Back in and a springboard knee to the back keeps Rey in trouble. It’s time for the gymnastics portion of the match as neither guy can connect with anything. Rey hits the West Coast Pop out of nowhere for the quick pin.

Rating: C-. Considering who was in here, this was a disappointment. They weren’t really moving as fast as you would expect them to and there weren’t any high spots. Still though the match wasn’t bad and Rey is always worth checking out in 1997. That being said, this was easily the weakest match of the night so far.

Luna Vachon wants the Women’s Title.

TV Title: Lane Carlson vs. Ultimo Dragon

They’re flying through these matches tonight. I’m assuming the title is on the line here. Carlson is more famous as Lenny Lane. Feeling out process to start until Dragon escapes a backdrop and fires off the rapid kicks. A great looking dropkick takes Lane’s head off for two. Lane comes back with a bad looking Rocker Dropper for two and a bulldog gets the same. A clothesline puts Dragon on the floor and Lane hits a flip dive off the top to crush Dragon. Dragon throws Lane back in and kicks him through the ropes to take over. Back in and the top rope superrana sets up the tiger suplex for the pin for Dragon to retain.

Rating: C-. Another fast paced and surprisingly watchable match. This is what WCW was great at: taking a named guy and putting him out there with some no name and letting the no name show off a little bit. Lane would go on to be the Cruiserweight Champion when the company was falling apart.

Cruiserweight Title: Syxx vs. Prince Iaukea

We’re having an extreme lack of promos tonight. Iaukea speeds things up to start, showing off more fast paced offense in 30 seconds than he did in seven weeks as TV Champion. A kick to the face and a mat slam put Syxx down but he comes back with a spinwheel kick. Syxx is Cruiserweight Champion here but I don’t think the title is on the line. We put the camera on Reggie White for about 15 seconds and come back to Syxx holding a chinlock. We have a Hat Guy sighting as well.

Syxx takes him into the corner and hits the Bronco buster but something similar to a Swanton misses. Apparently this is for the title. Iaukea starts a comeback and hits a springboard clothesline for two before going up. Syxx crotches him but gets shoved down so Prince can badly mess up a top rope sunset flip for two. Syxx kicks the Prince down and hooks on the Buzz Kill (crossface chickenwing) to retain.

Rating: C-. The good part here is almost all because of Syxx. Iaukea was just so freaking dull, and when you had guys like Dragon, Mysterio, Guerrera, Benoit and Malenko around at this point, there was no room for a guy like Iaukea. As usual with Waltman, I like him WAY more when he’s against a smaller guy. It’s a shame he killed the Cruiserweight Title for so long though.

Here are Flair, Piper and Kevin Greene for a chat. Piper rambles about bald guys being cowards and something about gorillas in the Congo. He talks about Bischoff wearing Rodman shirts and implies the NWO is all coming out of the closet. If he wakes up with a dead horse’s head in his bed, he’s having a barbecue. Now he goes on a rant about people pouring asphalt and cutting down trees so they could start Starrcade and Wrestlemania. I assure you, this promo doesn’t make much more sense in full context. I think he’s talking about paving the way for the NWO guys.

Kevin says he did everything Hogan told him to do as a kid and then Hogan stabbed everyone in the back. The NWO is a bunch of rookies that are here just for the money. Greene uses the chopping wood and laying asphalt thing and it’s about respect apparently. For a celebrity that isn’t used to being on a live mic, Greene was pretty good here.

Flair talks about being trained by Verne Gagne in 1973 and walking into St. Louis in 1983 (at the age of 35. Think about that for a minute. At the time this is being written, Sheamus is 33. Flair was two years older than that back in 1983. That’s hard to fathom.) and wrestling Dick the Bruiser. Then in 1993 he wrestled Savage in the Hoosier Dome (it was 92 but close enough) and in 2003 he’ll still be going. That’s actually true and he even won a title that year.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy

This is a street fight and it’s in Philadelphia. Not a bad way to start the second hour. You can barely hear Tony over the reaction for Rock and Grunge. Public Enemy sets up two tables at ringside before the bell and bring in trashcan lids to get us going. The chant starts before the bell even rings. There are about five trashcan lids in the ring and all of them go upside various people’s heads. I’m not really going to try to call anything in this as it barely resembles wrestling.

A horrible piledriver to Rage onto a trashcan doesn’t really do much damage so Public Enemy brings out a toilet seat instead. Heenan suggests dropping a dumpster on people from the ceiling. After a brawl on the floor, Kaos gets in some offense and is promptly booed out of the building. The fans are literally standing in the crowd. Another piledriver on the trashcan puts Kaos down and it’s table time. Two are stacked on top of each other and Rage is crushed with the Quebecers’ Cannonball move for the pin by Rock.

Rating: C+. The match here was completely beside the point. This was a way to fire up the crowd and to put it mildly, it worked very well. The fans erupted over the Public Enemy because they were ECW legends and every ECW fan was on cloud nine at this point. The match was basically a squash and that’s all it should be.

Giant vs. Big Al

Speaking of ECW, Big Al is more famous as 911. We’re told that Giant let Luger pin him at the PPV because Giant owed Luger a favor from when Luger was the first person to welcome Giant back to WCW. That makes sense. Anyway, chokeslam ends this in like a minute.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Konnan

Page works on the arm to start but Konnan stomps him down in the corner for a bit. Page rams him into the buckle, shrugs off a poke to the eye, and hits the Diamond Cutter for the fast pin. Typical Page match from this time period.

Savage and Liz are in the crowd with Randy telling Kimberly to stop calling him. Page charges after Savage but Macho escapes.

Harlem Heat vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jeff and Booker get us going with Booker running him over a few times. Mongo comes in and wants to fight the bigger member of the Heat in Stevie Ray. Mongo powerslams him down for two as we take a break. Back with Jarrett getting double teamed in the corner and taken down via a double elbow. Stevie comes in and pounds Jeff down again before tagging out to Booker for an ax kick. The Heat hit a double suplex for two and it’s off to a chinlock from Stevie.

Booker comes in to break up a sunset flip as we hear about some guy named Tiger Woods winning the Masters. Booker kicks Jarrett down again but a second kick misses. Jeff tries the Figure Four instead of tagging and everything breaks down. The briefcase is brought in but Sherri steals it from Mongo. Sherri tries to hit Mongo with it but the shot doesn’t seem to do much. The girls fight and the match gets thrown out. In a likely unintentional spot after the match, Sherri swings and misses Debra but hits her in the head on the back swing. Good.

Rating: D+. This incarnation of the Horsemen just were not that good. I get the idea that they’re supposed to be arguing, but that went on FOREVER and never went anywhere. How many weeks in a row now have I talked about the exact same kind of things happening in these matches? Oh and what was the point of the ending? It doesn’t help anything.

Apparently the Horsemen win by DQ. Ok then.

Gene talks to Mongo about his match with White at the PPV. As usual, Mongo cuts a heel promo despite being in a face faction. Mongo blasts White for a bit on the mic until White jumps the barricade. Mongo spits in his face and it’s on.

Kevin Nash vs. Lex Luger

The reinforcements come out for the NWO almost immediately. Nash pounds him into the corner and hits the framed elbow. A charge (yes, a charge from Kevin Nash) misses Luger but Lex has to stop to knock Syxx down, allowing Nash to kick Luger’s head off. Side slam gets two and Snake Eyes puts Luger down again. Nash hits the running hip attack to Luger’s back while Luger is in 619 position. Luger comes back with the steel forearm and here’s the NWO for the big beatdown and the DQ.

Rating: D. This was just a way to build up to the ending with the big NWO run in and the post match stuff. Nash was doing nothing but basic stuff and Luger hit about two moves in total. Then again, they only had about four minutes to work with so it may be unfair to blame the guys in the match. On the other hand, it’s Kevin Nash in 1997 so we can safely blame him.

Page tries to make the save but gets beaten down eventually. Giant comes out but Nash has a lead pipe. Sting walks down the ramp with three ball bats, giving one each to Giant, Luger and Page. Sting pulls out one for himself and the ring is cleared to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. As usual, when you let the Cruiserweights do their stuff, the show is good but when the other guys in there, things start to fall apart. The crowd helped this show a lot as they were erupting for everything all night. While it wasn’t a great show because of the lack of anything really happening, the wrestling was enough to carry it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Night Raw – July 15, 2002: He’s Back And He’s Better Than Ever

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 2002
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another request and with good reason: EVERYTHING changes here. Well maybe not everything but a lot of things certainly do. First of all there’s the debut of the longest running Raw GM tonight, as well as a stable being thrown out completely. For the life of me I can’t believe they just threw this out on Raw instead of having it on a big PPV or at least built up or something, but this is WWE in 2002 so the logic is LONG gone. This is also the last Raw before Vengeance 2002. Let’s get to it.

We open in the back with Taker glaring at Heyman. Heyman says that the main event tonight was his idea. It’s Taker/Brock vs. Flair/Van Dam. Apparently Brock wants Taker on Sunday but Taker says that’s the last thing Brock wants. Taker says he makes the next big things disappear. Oh that’s GREAT.

Here’s Vince to the NWO music. He says that as of now, the NWO is officially gone and that was the last time that you’ll ever hear that music. Until it was 2011 and WWE thought we wanted Kevin Nash in the main event. Vince says the NWO era is now history, which is the case of a lot of previous eras. He lists off some eras, which is kind of cool to hear. However, all of these eras have ended because the company needs to change with the times. That’s what’s happening now, as we’re going to have GM’s on each show with complete authority. The Raw GM is revealed tonight and he’ll give the fans what they deserve.

Flair has no idea who the GM is but no one outside of a McMahon knows how hard this is.

Jeff Hardy/Spike Dudley/Bubba Ray Dudley vs. William Regal/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero

Jeff is European Champion and beat Regal last week to win it. This is also under elimination rules. The other four meet in an elimination tag on Sunday as well. It’s a big brawl to start until Spike and Eddie get us going. Spike gets headbutted in the ribs but a VERY fast rollup with an even faster count gets the pin to eliminate him. Bubba comes in with a quick Bubba Bomb but Regal saves. Off to Benoit who gets chopped in the corner but Regal cheats to take over.

Bubba comes back with the dancing punches and an elbow to Regal’s head for two. Eddie comes in illegally and is launched to the floor. Off to Hardy for about half a second before Bubba comes in again. Eddie and Benoit go suplex happy and it’s Benoit vs. Jeff. Eddie comes in quickly and picks Jeff apart with shots to the back and neck. Regal in now to slow things down before tagging Benoit back in.

A belly to back suplex puts Jeff down and Eddie comes back in for his spinning eye rake. The heels tag in and out very quickly. Regal catches Bubba not paying attention and things break down. Regal brings in the European Title but Bubba gets it away and clocks William for it, but that’s a DQ so it’s 3-1. Hardy immediately hits the Swanton on Regal to make it 2-1 as we take a break.

Back with Eddie missing a slingshot hilo so that Jeff can cradle him for the pin to get us down to one on one. After some double teaming before Eddie leaves, Benoit hits a German suplex. Jeff gets sent to the corner but comes out with Whisper in the Wind. Eddie comes back out as a decoy, allowing Regal to pop up and knock Hardy out with the brass knuckles. Crossface goes on and Hardy is unconscious to end it.

Rating: B. This was good, primarily for two reasons. First of all it had time to develop. That’s very important as it would have gotten annoying to see five eliminations in about a minute. Also, having Hardy lose by cheating was good as you can’t have Hardy beat all three guys but you also want to keep him strong. This was very well done and it worked. I could have seen this being on PPV, which is a rarity for Raw.

Post match Benoit and Eddie set up a table but the Dudleys make the save.

Coach has some suggestions for who might be the GM. Some names floating around are Mick Foley, Vince’s brother, and Paul Heyman, who pops up after being asked to meet with Vince. Heyman goes into Vince’s office and Coach says he’ll wait until Heyman leaves. A production chick literally runs in and says the new GM has arrived.

Post break the new GM comes in and Vince is shocked because it’s…..Shane? Vince says Shane isn’t the GM but Shane yells about how bad of an idea this is. Shane knows who the GM is and says that the new guy is a parasite that is going to screw over the company.

Van Dam and Dreamer are in the back talking about the GM stuff. Van Dam is glad it’s not Heyman. Dreamer asks about the Van Terminator that Heyman took last week and Van Dam says he had it coming for years. He wants to hit Lesnar for one too. Van Dam leaves and Stevie Richards pops up. He doesn’t believe what Tommy has been saying lately so let’s make our match a Singapore Cane match. Various jokes are made so here’s Goldust for a cameo. Richards hits Dreamer with the cane.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Stevie Richards

Basically there are few rules but Singapore Canes are legal. Dreamer gets in a few shots to start and they head to the floor. Tommy jumps off the steps for a shot to the back of Richards. Stevie gets in a shot to the face (all shots here are with canes unless otherwise noted) and yells at the cane. Dreamer is busted. Richards suplexes him on the ramp but might have hurt his shoulder in the process.

Back inside now for some choking with the cane. Stevie destroys Dreamer with the cane but Dreamer begs for more. Dreamer takes him down and beats on him before hitting a DDT for two. Dreamer goes up for a shot from the middle rope but jumps into a superkick for two. Both guys get canes but Dreamer is quicker and he BREAKS THE STICK over Richards’ head. FREAKING OW MAN!

Rating: C+. They knew what they were going for here and the idea worked pretty well: hit each other with some sticks for about four minutes with some occasional wrestling thrown in. Sometimes that’s all that you need and it worked pretty well here. Besides, what else do you expect from these two?

Booker is with Coach (Coach is taller actually) and says that less than a month after he got kicked out of the NWO, the NWO is gone. He feels like celebrating and wants a Coach-A-Rooni. Coach says no and Booker thinks that since Rock is on another show, he’s the new announcer abuser. Coach does a HORRIBLE one and Booker rips him apart for it. “You sure you black dog?” Booker is ready for Big Show and does his catchphrase, but Eric Bischoff pops up. Yes, THIS is how they did the reveal.

Here’s Vince to no music for some reason. He introduces Bischoff as the new GM in a really underwhelming reveal. Vince and Bischoff hugging on the stage of Monday Night Raw is SO bizarre to see. He comes out to Back in Black for some reason too. Bischoff gets in the ring and says that he’s the guy that ran WCW, but not the Invasion version: the REAL WCW. He says he’s the guy that Vince was talking about when he mentioned ruthless aggression.

Bischoff was the ruthless one, signing up every big star that WWF had. He signed Heenan and Okerlund just because he could. Eric talks about raiding Vince during the steroid trial and making the war personal. He talks about the tricks that he did during the Monday Night Wars and how that was innovative (if you call stealing stuff that the Poffos did to the Jarretts back in the 80s innovative then sure) which is what made him successful rather than Turner’s money.

He talks about Madusa and throwing the belt away which was ruthless and aggressive. Bischoff talks about how he gave away PPV quality main events which is what made Vince change the way he did TV. Then he created the NWO (again, if you call stealing ideas from other companies new then yeah that’s true) and beat the WWF 84 weeks in a row. He came this close to putting the WWF out of business.

Then he got a phone call from Vince asking him to run Raw. That makes perfect sense to him because only he could turn this place into a national media powerhouse. The one piece of talent he wanted but could never get was HHH. You know, the guy he HAD under contract and cut. Great eye for talent there Eric. People like working for him and it’s not just about the money. Bischoff is going to put the E in WWE.

Ok so some quick thoughts on this. First of all: WHERE WAS BISCOFF DURING THE INVASION??? If there was a single person PERFECT for running that, it was Bischoff. Apparently he was available at a reasonable price eight months later, and with Flair and the NWO being available three months after Survivor Series, could there be a better leader for a prolonged Invasion? Of course there was: Shane McMahon. Don’t you get the connection?

Second, this wasn’t the best opening promo in the world. All he said was that he was going to bring HHH to Raw, which is fine in theory but he spent about ten minutes explaining stuff to people that likely didn’t care. See, this is one of the BIG problems with the way modern wrestling works: sometimes this behind the scenes stuff works, but this was a good wrestling show so far and they stopped it for this. Yeah this is a huge moment, but talking about “history” is only so interesting to a crowd that doesn’t care about a lot of it. This was a good shock value moment, but I’m not wild about the execution.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending. The champ gets a quick DDT after jumping Trish for two. Trish comes back, pounding away in the corner and hitting the Stratusphere. Chick Kick hits for two. The handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll for the same. Molly hits a backbreaker for two and Trish starts coming back. She loads up Stratusfaction but gets suplexed down. That and feet in the ropes get the pin to retain. This was nothing.

Flair runs into Bischoff in the back. Bischoff wants to bury their past issues but Flair is skeptical.

Booker T vs. Big Show

NWO fallout. Booker tries to fire away in the corner but Show easily overpowers him. A big delayed vertical suplex puts Booker down but an elbow drop misses. Booker rams him into the corner and superkicks him into the ropes. The side kick puts Show down and a clothesline puts both guys on the floor. Show’s running knee hits the steps and Booker’s chair shot misses. Back in the ring Booker has a chair taken from him and Show shoves the referee down for the DQ.

Rating: D-. What in the world was the point here? Oh I got it: to push Big Show because we haven’t done that before. Booker was always getting the shaft in WWE as he had the chance to become the guy that was pushed out of the NWO, but instead it’s Big Show that gets the push. Don’t you see the logic there?

Big Show beats him down with the chair and chokeslams him through the table post match.

Brock is lifting a piece of the set in the back because he can. Heyman seems glad that Bischoff is here. Apparently they have a plan about Undertaker.

A WWE employee has died. Apparently he worked in merchandise.

Hardcore Title: Bradshaw vs. Christopher Nowitski

Bradshaw is defending of course. Chris offers to lay down and be pinned but of course he tries the small package which only gets two. Bradshaw clotheslines him to the floor and the beating begins. Christopher gets taken down with a HARD steps shot and Nowitski runs into the crowd. They head to the backstage area and Bradshaw keeps killing him. And here’s Johnny The Bull to hit Bradshaw and steal the title. Unique no?

Big Show and Bischoff chat in the back. It’s Booker vs. Show in a street fight on Sunday.

Johnny The Bull comes in to brag to Bischoff and loses the title to Bradshaw in the process.

Taker warns Brock not to screw with him.

Brock Lesnar/The Undertaker vs. Ric Flair/Rob Van Dam

Taker is WWE Champion and is teasing a face turn. Van Dam is facing Lesnar on Sunday for the IC Title. Flair is here because he might be the top face on Raw. Flair and Taker start us off and Ric is easily overpowered. They head to the corner so Flair can chop him and take over. Van Dam gets a blind tag and a top rope cross body for two. Taker misses a running big boot in the corner and Van Dam fires away with kicks.

Rob kicks the leg and you know that’s the call of the Nature Boy. Figure Four goes on very quickly but Taker easily sits up and chokes his way out of it. A low blow gets Naitch out of it and the old school beating begins. There’s the chokeslam for two and it’s off to King Brock. Lesnar throws Flair around and uses the power shoulders in the corner. He hits the multiple backbreakers and Taker gets in a shot as well. Taker comes in legally so he can pound Flair down in the corner. The jumping clothesline puts Flair down but he comes back with thumbs to the eye.

For no logical reason Flair goes up, but at least they mix it up this time and it’s a superplex instead of the traditional slam. Off to Lesnar who pounds on Flair some more and hits a powerslam. Brock charges into the post and Flair manages a suplex to get the hot tag. Van Dam cleans house and hits Rolling Thunder on the tagged in Dead Man. Missile dropkick and split legged moonsault put Brock down for two. Flair breaks up the Last Ride attempt but walks into the F5. While Brock is down he takes the Five Star, but the Last Ride ends Van Dam for the pin.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here. I’m really not sure why they had Flair in there as Taker was defending against Angle and Rock on Sunday, but that’s what happens in the opening days of the Brand Split I suppose. Not a terrible match but it didn’t really change much for the most part.

Bischoff calls Rock to try to steal him to Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show dragged its way across the finish line but it worked for the most part. The first hour was great but after the Bischoff announcement it got down to what made Raw boring in 2002: so-so matches and boring stories with older guys getting pushed to the top. Lesnar wasn’t ready yet but he was coming quickly.

Here’s Vengeance if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/07/26/vengeance-2002-the-great-one-is-still-great/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – March 24, 1997: Prince Iaukea Main Events

Monday Nitro #80
Date: March 24, 1997
Location: Duluth Convention Center, Duluth, Minnesota
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

Another Nitro this week with another stacked card of eleven matches. There isn’t much different from last week as Hogan is still afraid of Sting and the main feud is still Page vs. Savage for the PPV. Flair is still out with an injury as he would be for the next six weeks or so. There just isn’t much to talk about at the moment and there won’t be for a few more months. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s challenge from Savage to Page.

Opening sequence, which still has Hogan in the red and yellow as the featured person.

Larry Hennig is here.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Konnan

Dean is defending and has a big bandage over his left eye. Apparently tonight DiBiase has ordered WCW to give Savage a TV Title match vs. Prince Iaukea. Konnan takes him to the mat and grabs a leg hold which Dean escapes into a standoff. Konna hits him in the back as we hear from Syxx about Dean Malenko. It’s implied that Eddie and Syxx have something going on. Konnan powerbombs him down for two. Dean comes back with a leg lariat but Konnan hooks La Majistral for two. Konnan misses a “dropkick” off the top so Dean can grab the Cloverleaf to retain.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the match existed to let Syxx talk. Dean was awesome at this point and could hang with anyone, which is why his match with Benoit at Spring Stampede was probably a good idea. Konnan looked better than usual here but he would join the NWO later in the year and ruin whatever he had going for him.

Dean thinks Eddie and Syxx are in cahoots.

We get a clip from Uncensored of Wrath debuting and attacking Glacier after he beat Mortis.

Mortis vs. Jerry Flynn

Dang I thought this was Jerry Lynn at first. They trade missed kicks until Mortis runs him over with a shoulder block. Flynn kicks him down but Mortis hits a reverse mule kick in the corner to take over. Since he’s not that smart, Mortis poses on the ropes and Flynn kicks him down to take over. Jerry charges into a superkick though and a spinwheel kick puts Flynn down again. A middle rope Fameasser gets two but Flynn powerbombs him out of the corner to take over again. Mortis kicks him down twice and the Flatliner (Samoan Drop from the middle rope) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This is a match where the styles contrasted badly. Martial arts vs. martial arts isn’t a pairing that is going to work most of the time and when one of the guys is Jerry Flynn, the match is going to be pretty bad most of the time. Mortis was a character that was hard to use properly because he was pretty one dimensional and was only there to torment Glacier. His offense was pretty good though.

La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera

La Parka has a sombrero, what looks like a skull covered bathrobe and a belt with a skull larger than his head in the middle. Juvy hits a spin kick to start but La Parka comes back with his strut. This would be the start of his more famous personality. Juvy knocks him to the floor and hits a HUGE dive to the outside to take Parka out. Back in a springboard missile dropkick gets two but La Parka takes him down with a clothesline.

A springboard moonsault completely misses (even Tony says so) but it gets two anyway. A spinwheel kick puts Juvy down to the floor and a bit dive puts Guerrera down again. Juvy comes back with a (mostly missed) springboard flip dive followed by an attempted top rope rana, but Parka powerbombs him down from the top. La Parka goes up and hits what we would call the Whisper in the Wind for the pin.

Rating: B-. When all else fails, let two luchadores go out and show off for the crowd. These guys were flying all over the place and looked great doing it. It got the crowd going too which is more than almost anything did last week. La Parka wasn’t quite known for his high flying but he did it well enough here. Good stuff.

We get a clip from Souled Out with the Steiners winning the titles, only to get screwed out of them the next night. Bischoff was then suspended a few weeks ago so he can’t return the titles later. The Outsiders ran the Steiners off the road in a car wreck and then laid out Rick Steiner. This was a very well built feud, but the problem was the Steiners never got the big win over the Outsiders, so the payoff was never there, making the whole thing a letdown to the fans.

The Steiners say they’re ready for Spring Stampede, in a match that never happened because Scott Hall no showed the show.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy

See how deep the tag division used to be? Public Enemy cleans the ring out quickly until we get down to Rocco vs. Rage. High Voltage takes over and it’s off to Kaos with a double ax off the top. Back to Rage who slams him down but misses a standing moonsault. Double tag brings in Kaos and Grunge (what names these teams have) and Public Enemy cleans house. They hit a springboard version of the Quebecers’ Cannonball but opt to put Rage on the table instead. A springboard dive puts Rage through it and here’s Jarrett with the briefcase to the head of Grunge so Kaos can get the pin.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate and it was nothing of note. High Voltage was usually the jobbing team so this was a pretty sizable upset at the time. The match was there to further the Horsemen vs. Public Enemy, which was a feud I’m sure dozens of people were dying to see. The double team flip dives weren’t bad though.

Giant talks about having to possibly face Lex in the four corners match at the PPV. For some reason they had a four corners match with Harlem Heat vs. Luger vs. Giant with the winner getting a title shot which didn’t wind up coming for about three months. Giant doesn’t want to fight Lex and Lex says he can feel the balance of power shifting because of Sting.

Super Calo vs. Psychosis

Psychosis starts with a spin kick but Calo fires off kicks to the chest to take over. He climbs the corner but his spinning cross body winds up being more of an armdrag. Psychosis crotches him on top and hits a spinwheel kick to the back of the head. Crucifix gets two for Calo and he dropkicks Psychosis to the floor. Back in and Psychosis slams him down and hits the guillotine legdrop for the pin. It’s as out of nowhere as it sounds.

Rating: D+. Not much here as the match was sloppy at times and the ending came out of absolutely nowhere. Calo controlled most of the match until Psychosis hit one move and then his finisher. This was a far cry from the other cruiserweight match earlier in the night so it’s not as easy as it looks.

Hour #2 starts so we hit the recap button even though there isn’t much to recap.

Chris Benoit vs. Hugh Morrus

Brawl to start as Tenay says this is a real life feud with Benoit vs. Sullivan. Morrus hits a gorilla press on Benoit followed by a running corner splash. We get what sounds like a MORRUS chant. Benoit comes back with a release German but Konnan shoves him down when he’s loading up the Swan Dive. No Laughing Matter gets the quick pin.

Sullivan comes out for the three way beatdown but Malenko, who isn’t a Horseman yet, comes out for a failed save. Flair comes out for the real save in his first physical action in almost six months. Benoit and Malenko stare each other down.

Faces of Fear vs. Harlem Heat

This is a rematch from Saturday Night which was thrown out for something involving Luger and the Giant. Booker and Barbarian start things off. They get into a power struggle, won by the Samoan. The Faces of Fear double team Booker to the floor as the Heat are in trouble early. Back in and Booker hits a spinning cross body off the top for two. Off to Stevie who uses his usual array of stomps.

Meng comes in and will have none of Stevie’s bad offense so he hits him in the face. Back to Barbarian as Stevie is in trouble. Never mind as a big boot to the face puts Barbarian down. I know Stevie has never been considered brilliant but apparently he doesn’t know his Samoan stereotypes. A middle rope ax kick puts Barbarian down but Meng comes in for a double headbutt to take over on Booker. Booker tries a slam but Meng falls on him for tow.

Booker gets taken into the wrong corner and it’s off to Barbarian for more punishment. Side salto gets two. Back to Meng for an abdominal stretch but Sherri’s distraction lets Stevie comes in sans tag, which is just fine apparently. Booker comes back in almost immediately, being launched off the top onto Meng for no cover. The side kick gets two on Meng. Meng hits a sitout powerbomb out of nowhere for two and everything breaks down. Meng misses a charge in the corner, hitting Sherri in the process, which allows Booker to grabs a fast rollup for the pin.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where if you cut out about two minutes of it, the match would be a lot better. It’s also very apparent how much more talented Booker was than Stevie, as Booker carried the offense for his team while Stevie did little more than stomp on either Samoan at any given time. The Faces of Fear were great in the jobber to the stars tag team role.

Here are the Horsemen, as in Benoit and Flair, to talk about Anderson being attacked last week. Benoit thinks it was Sullivan but wants to know why Malenko made the save earlier. Flair offers Piper the spot on the team again.

Madusa vs. Malia Hosaka

This is another of those random WCW women’s matches. They shove each other to start and Hosaka puts on a Boston Crab. The fans chant USA as Tony talks about Glacier for some reason. Off to a chinlock by Hosaka which is pretty easily countered. She tries a rolling cradle but Madusa stands there instead of falling down. Madusa grabs the bridging German for the pin. Too short to rate but this was pretty bad.

Jim Duggan vs. Renegade

Apparently Renegade was too rough on Saturday Night against Riggs. This is part of Renegade’s heel turn which was one of the most questionable decisions ever. Not that it was a bad idea, but because no one was sure why someone gave Renegade an angle at all. Wait if he’s a heel now why is he slapping hands? Duggan beats up an NWO sign with his board. Duggan is in gold boots here for some reason. He sets to wrap his fist with tape but throws it to the fans instead.

Feeling out process to start with Renegade not really acting any differently than he usually did on these shows. Tony implies that WWF might be trying to steal Renegade for some reason. If so then they’re picking a bad guy to steal as Duggan hammers him down and then into the corner to take over. They try a bulldog out of the corner but Duggan falls down like a headlock takeover. Off to a chinlock followed by the cartwheel elbow in the corner. Duggan gets another roll of tape for the punch to the head for the pin.

Rating: F. Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, Rey Mysterio, Diamond Dallas Page, Giant, Luger and I could go on. These are people that didn’t have a match this week but these two guys got to be on TV with a heel turn for Renegade in the process. Then they have Duggan beat him? What in the world was the point of this?

Video on Sting and how WCW needs him.

Steiner Brothers vs. Amazing French Canadians

The Canadians do the national anthem before the match. Scott and Pierre start us off and Steiner hits a butterfly powerbomb to take over. The Steiners clear the ring but Scott gets in trouble for a bit. Pierre slams him down but jumps into the boot of Scott. There’s the tag to Rick and everything breaks down. The idea is that Rick is still messed up because of his ear injury from the car wreck. Jacques piledrives Rick but Colonel Parker misses his flag pole shot. Cannonball hits Rick but there’s no referee. Parker’s boot is thrown in but Rick intercepts it and blasts Pierre for the pin.

Rating: D-. Another horrible match here with no point to it at all. The Canadians were just not that good and certainly weren’t interesting at all. Then again it may have been Colonel Parker and his annoyances that kept me from caring here. Either way the match was bad with neither team seeming interested at all.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Randy Savage

Main event time. The full NWO comes out because Randy Savage needs support against Prince freaking Iaukea. Nash shouts to HBK on the way to the ring. Apparently the title challenge isn’t just a one off thing. The NWO can challenge for any title anytime forever. Prince hits a shoulder for two and Savage hits the floor.

Back in and Iaukea hits a springboard cross body for two. A top rope cross body misses and Savage clotheslines him on the top rope to take over. Savage drops the elbow but pulls him up at two. Page runs in for the DQ, because why would he want to face Savage for the TV Title? To be fair I guess the idea is that he wanted to hurt Savage no matter what. I can live with that.

Rating: D. Unfortunately this was long enough to rate. Iaukea was so freaking boring and bland that there was almost no way to care about him. Savage facing him here was such a weird matchup as it was in essence a squash match for a title, which isn’t something you often see. This was nothing but a way for Page to run in though.

Page gets destroyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This really was a tale of two hours. The first one was good and had some solid action, but the second hour was just dreadful, with bad matches that weren’t interesting at all. I mean come on, Prince Iaukea in the main event of a show? Thankfully there’s only one more episode before Spring Stampede so we can move on to the next boring PPV build. This show was a chore to sit through, at least in the second half.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – March 17, 1997: The Summer Funk Begins

Monday Nitro #79
Date: March 17, 1997
Location: Savannah Civic Center, Savannah, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

It’s the night after Uncensored and the big story is that Sting has declared his loyalty for WCW by attacking the NWO to close the show last night. At the same time though it’s not all good for the purple and gold (WCW for you young people out there) as the NWO won the main event last night, basically giving them unlimited power in the company. There are eleven matches tonight so expect some quick finishes. Let’s get to it.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

Mysterio takes him to the mat to start and controls from behind. Psychosis takes him to the mat as we see the Japanese announce table which has Ultimo Dragon sans mask. Rey tries to do his kickoff out of a test of strength position but they mistime it horribly. A springboard headscissors sends Psychosis to the floor and Rey follows it with a rana off the apron. Back in and Psychosis rams him stomach first into the buckle. Psychosis misses a charge into the post and Rey hits a flip dive to the floor. West Coast Pop is HORRIBLY botched as Psychosis’ head is drive into the mat ala a piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C-. I haven’t seen Rey botch this much stuff in years. The ending was almost scary as Psychosis just stopped moving when his head got driven into the mat like that. The match wasn’t horrible but with two noticeable botches in three and a half minutes, how good can you consider a match?

Arn Anderson says Sting came home last night, but that’s not what he’s here to talk about. He was injured at Halloween Havoc and has to have neck surgery. Arn talks about how his grandmother stayed alive long enough to see him become a mature adult. Last night he saw his family, the Horsemen, mature. He also saw Sullivan’s son recently and it looks like the Sullivan family has broken up completely. Anderson says he’ll be back, but he never would be, at least not in the ring.

We recap last night with Savage and Liz attacking Kimberly and Page. They spray painted Kimberly when page was down.

Maxx vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Maxx is a muscle guy who is part of the Dungeon of Doom. There’s a slight chance that he’s the same guy that played Maxx Muscle, who was Page’s bodyguard back in 1995. This is a squash, with Page hitting a top rope splash of all things. He escapes a full nelson and hits the Cutter for the quick pin in maybe a minute and a half.

Page says he’s hunting for Savage and Liz. We’re also told possibly for the first time that Page and Kimberly are married in real life. Savage is a dead man walking. Page starts to leave but Savage and Liz are in the crowd. Savage says he’s the icon and Page is the wrestler with no name. Talk of a non-sanctioned match is mentioned but Savage says it’ll be later. Page charges into the crowd but Savage gets away.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Renegade/Joe Gomez

Before the match here are Bischoff and the Outsiders to take over the announce desk. Actually scratch that as they just have an announcement: they’ll be getting in the ring tonight but no opponents are mentioned. Apparently them getting to challenge for any title they want according to the stipulations from the main event last night now means the champions get to pick when they wrestle ever.

Back to the match which starts with Morrus jumping Gomez and working over his knee. Konnan comes in quickly and kicks at said knee. The Dungeon trades off a few times but the offense doesn’t improve at all. The announcers talk about Spring Stampede a bit as not much is going on during the match. A clothesline puts Gomez down and Konnan comes back in for a half crab. After about three minutes of leg work Gomez finally tags in Renegade. He cleans house for about fifteen seconds and then tags back out when Gomez can’t even stand. It takes about ten seconds to hit No Laughing Matter for the pin on Joe.

Rating: D. This was a dull match and it seems like they were trying to set up a feud between Renegade and Gomez for who knows what reason. The match was boring as it was about four minutes of leg work followed by the angle to end the show. Gomez stayed around for a long time and never did anything at all.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Scotty Riggs

Malenko won the title last night. Riggs lost a strap match to Bagwell last night so he gets a title match tonight. Makes perfect sense right? Scotty hits a quick dropkick to start but it only gets two. Dean will have none of that and sends Riggs to the floor and into the barricade. Back in and we get a pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts. Riggs makes a quick comeback with his jobber level offense before he gets caught in a hot shot. Dean grabs a rolling cradle for the pin to retain fast.

Lex Luger/The Giant vs. The Knuckles

That would be Knuckles Nelson and T. Rantula. I don’t know about you, but I’m smelling an upset here. Giant and Rantula start us off and the man who would be Peter Parker is thrown back into his own corner quickly. Nelson comes in and this is squash territory already. Giant works him over in the corner for awhile until Rantula comes in to help. That goes nowhere either and it’s a chokeslam for Nelson. Luger walks in without a tag and powerslams Rantula as Giant pins Nelson. Luger Racks Rantula post match. Total squash.

Luger and Giant talk about Sting coming back last night. We get some clips from the show with Sting destroying the NWO as Giant talks about seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Luger says it made him believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. These guys do know they lost the main event right?

We get some stills from last night with Mortis vs. Glacier. Wrath debuted post match to beat down Glacier.

Bobby Eaton vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon stalls on the floor to start so Eaton punches him in the face. And never mind as Dragon puts him on top and hits a rana for the pin. This wasn’t even a minute and a half.

Here’s the NWO in full force. Hogan and Bischoff brag about winning last night and talk about being able to challenge for any title. That would be the TV and US Titles, unless you want to count the Women’s belt if that exists yet. Savage says he’ll face Page at some point. Nash says the Outsiders will face the Steiners at Spring Stampede. That would wind up being Rick vs. Nash for the titles. During this announcement, Hall takes a beer to the head. In PERFECT response, he wipes his hair as he is known to do.

Call the NWO hotline!

Hour #2 begins and it seems a lot later than usual. We do the usual recap.

Alex Wright/Mark Starr vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Jarrett and Wright start things off with Alex firing off some dropkicks. Jarrett takes him down and Mongo drops an elbow on the back of Wright’s head to take over. There’s a side slam and it’s back to Jarrett. Tony calls that a solid tag. How can a tag exactly be solid? Everything breaks down with Starr diving over Mongo which is called a chop block. Figure Four ends Starr quick.

Public Enemy comes out and beats up the Horsemen post match. The Horsemen fight them off and then go to talk to Gene. Apparently these teams are going to be fighting at the PPV. Debra screeches a bit and Jarrett says he’s walking the walk now. Mongo dares the people to boo Debra, again not seeming to know if he’s a face or a heel.

Lee Marshall does his schtick.

Scott Norton vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Norton runs him over and Chavo bails to the floor. Back in and Chavo goes after the knee but Norton won’t go down. Two more shots to it and he still won’t go down. A missile dropkick won’t put Norton down and a sunset flip doesn’t either. Norton powerbombs him to death to end this. Norton wouldn’t sell a thing here.

Hogan and Rodman talk about nothing of note.

Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman

This doesn’t even last a minute with the Crossface ending it. That hadn’t been his finisher long at all at this point.

Benoit and Woman have something to say but Flair comes out before they can start. Benoit talks about Sullivan of course and Flair blames Piper for the loss last night. Ric isn’t worried about Arn because he’s tough. As for Piper, he can come be a Horseman and take Arn’s spot. That’s quite the offer.

Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat

Scott and Booker get us going with Booker hitting a fast side kick. He walks into a gorilla press slam though and it’s off to Rick. Stevie comes in to stomp away and adds in some punches for good measure. They trade powerslams as it’s time to talk about Sting. Booker comes in and side slams Rick down but it’s off to Scott who cleans house. Everything breaks down and it’s the NWO in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. The match was just filler until the NWO got there for no apparent reason. I guess it was to beat down the tag teams like the black and white used to do but it didn’t quite work as well. These teams seem a level or two beneath the NWO, but at the same time the NWO has beaten up everyone so many times that it doesn’t mean much when they beat up the main event guys anymore.

Luger and Giant come out for the save and clear the ring. Sting drops from the ceiling to end the show. He stands with WCW and that’s it. Hogan is terrified.

Overall Rating: D+. WCW hit a MAJOR funk over the summer, as the world title wouldn’t be defended on PPV from March until August, making most of the PPV main events totally worthless. Spring Stampede would be Savage vs. Page, the next month would be a six man tag and the third would be Rodman/Hogan vs. Luger/Giant. There were no major matches to build to so there was little going on in the way of television. This was a good example of that, as aside from Page and Savage getting set up, almost nothing happened here. That would be the case for the next few months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews




Monday Nitro – March 10, 1997: What Kind Of A Nightclub Is This?

Monday Nitro #78
Date: March 10, 1997
Location: Club La Vela, Panama City, Florida
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone

This is a theme show as we’re in a night club in Florida with pools everywhere. This would be the start of what was called Spring Breakout which was an annual event if I remember right. This is also the go home show for Uncensored 1997 so I’d assume we’ll get the real Team Piper introduced tonight as well as the rules for the main event. Let’s get to it.

We open with Hogan and Rodman fawning over Rodman’s new movie poster. It’s for Double Team which was awful.

The arena looks great as we have the ring kind of on a platform surrounded by a big pool.

Piper and his team, all in Scottish clothes, arrive.

High Voltage vs. Steve McMichael/Jeff Jarrett

Mongo vs. Kaos gets us going. Kaos tries to Control (five points to anyone that gets that) the arm but Mongo fires off his football tackles. Off to Jarrett who hits the running hip attack on the ropes but Rage interferes to take over. A modified Samoan Drop by Rage sets up a slingshot splash by Kaos for two. The fans want Flair but they get a suplex by Kaos to bring Rage back in. Jarrett moves from a flying dive and beats them both up with ease before tagging in Mongo. We go over some of the stipulations for Uncensored which I’ll get to later. Tombstone ends Rage.

Rating: D. This was an extended workout for the Horsemen. Jarrett was in trouble for about 30 seconds and then came back and easily beat up both guys. I guess this is them proving that they’re ok now and can work together, but it doesn’t make their story any more interesting. This was pretty much a squash.

Here’s Team Piper to talk about Uncensored. After a quick chat about sex and mattresses, Piper complains about Howard Stern not having him on his show. As for Rodman, Piper makes some almost gay jokes and runs down the WWF. They’ve been making fun of WCW for having one hipped wrestlers, but he beat up Goldust on PPV on one hip. Anyway, these guys are his family now….and here come the Horsemen.

Anderson says that this Sunday is a job for professionals, not amateurs. They have a common enemy in the NWO and maybe they can work together to pull this thing off. Piper says these guys that he’s known for a week are his family, so Flair tries to talk him out of it too. Flaiir says Piper is outmatched and needs some backup in the form of the Horsemen. Piper gyrates and puts on Flair’s coat after Ric throws it in the air. Piper says ok and the Family is never mentioned again.

TV Title: Dave Taylor vs. Prince Iaukea

After about 20 seconds of the match, here’s the NWO in their Hummer limo. They’re going in the back because Hall “knows the dishwasher.” Ok then. Since there are about 30 guys, someone (Wallstreet I think) is dropped down onto the ground. The A Team doesn’t bother checking on him. Back in the arena the wrestlers trade pinfall attempts for one. Iaukea hits a cross body for the pin. We saw about 45 seconds of this.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Jim Powers

Dean is on commentary and says that Eddie is jealous of Dean. Eddie takes him down to the mat to start and works on the knee for a bit. Dean goes over the reasons why he’s better than Eddie which are pretty awesome. He suggests that Eddie cheats to win too much as Powers does his usual stuff. Eddie easily comes back and hits the slingshot hilo for two. Teddy gets up on the apron, only to have Powers rammed into him. Eddie gets the rollup to retain. This was nothing but Dean’s comments were pretty good.

Eddie says that he isn’t the one that’s been saying all these things. He isn’t punching and kicking and choking is he? Gene agrees but says Eddie has been changing. Eddie is tired of hearing about that and is also tired of Dean’s attitude.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman

Pittman shoves him around to start so Page grabs a headlock. A hip toss attempt is countered so Page hits a kind of X Factor. Pittman says screw this wrestling stuff and takes Page down, pounding him with right hands. A bad belly to belly gets two for Sarge. Page fires away with punches and hits the Diamond Cutter for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but it was another win for Page which is what he needed. Sometimes the right move is just to keep putting someone on TV and let him hit a popular move over and over again. It worked for Page and he would rise up the card to main event PPVs in just a few months.

Page talks about Savage….and the power goes out. Page keeps going because I don’t think he realizes the audio is out. The lights are out though so you would think he picked up on that. Post break Page gets to say it again and basically it’s I’m coming for you Savage.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Galaxy

Galaxy is better known as Damien. Larry talks about Page needing to keep the rats away from him, which Tony needs clarification on in an unintentionally funny bit. Rey escapes a full nelson to start and speeds things up. Galaxy gets flipped around a lot and is almost launched into the pool. Galaxy tries Old School but gets crotched for his efforts. He misses a moonsault and West Coast Pop ends this short match.

Hour #2.

The announcers talk for a bit.

Gene brings out some guy named John Sencio from MTV. He brings out Miss Monday Nitro who is some blonde. Catch the NWO on MTV this week and that’s about it.

Amazing French Canadians/Greg Valentime/Roadblock vs. Lex Luger/The Giant/Steiner Brothers

We get the full rules of the main event here: if Team Piper wins, Piper gets a cage match with Hogan eventually. If the NWO wins, they get any title match they want, anywhere. What titles do they not own at the moment anyway? TV and US? This would later be changed to they basically had no rules on them and could do anything. If WCW wins, the NWO loses all their titles and all of their wrestlers are banned from competing for THREE YEARS. Luger and Valentine start and the match is as much of a squash as you would expect. Rick gets beaten on for a few seconds before Giant chokeslams Roadblock for the pin.

Team WCW says they’ll win.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ultimo Dragon

Juvy immediately slides under Dragon to start and they both miss some shots. Dragon misses a running double ax in the corner but Juvy’s rana is countered. Dragon throws him to the floor and Sonny fires off some kicks. Back in Dragon channels his inner Sting and no sells chops. There are the rapid fire kicks and Juvy is in trouble.

Dragon hits his spinning rack breaker for two. Surfboard goes on followed by a chinlock. Juvy escapes pretty quickly and hits a flip dive on the floor, which is impressive given the small space between the ring and the water. Back in Juvy gets a rollup for two, followed by a good looking kick to the head. Dragon hits a Liger Bomb for two, followed by the super rana and Tiger Suplex for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad at all but it was pretty much a filler match. Dragon wasn’t your usual cruiserweight but he could fly fairly well when need be. Juvy on the other hand was a great flier, but he needed someone that could keep up with him like Rey of Kidman. Not a bad match but at under five minutes, what are you expecting here?

Chris Jericho vs. Scotty Riggs

Riggs’ suspenders never quite worked on him. He starts off in control with a dropkick and a slam for two. We’re in a jawbreaker less than a minute in but Jericho escapes with a quick jawbreaker. Overhead belly to belly puts Riggs onto the apron so Jericho can hit his springboard dropkick. A suplex back in gets two. Riggs comes back with dropkicks and no one cares. I mean at all. Jericho crotches him on the top but Scotty manages to hit a top rope clothesline for two. The Canadian hits a German on the American for two and here’s Buff Bagweel to attack Riggs with a strap for the DQ.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here as Riggs was one of the most uninteresting guys in years. The only thing he had was to feud with Bagwell and once everyone realized that no one cared about the American Males feuding, all they could do was put him in the Flock, which really just prolonged his career instead of improving it.

Madusa says the same thing as last week. She still wants the title and wants Luna too.

Lee Marshall does his thing.

Hardbody Harrison vs. Kevin Sullivan

Harrison is most famous for suing WCW for not getting pushed because he was black. His lack of talent probably had more to do with it but why let that get in the way of a lawsuit? Total domination and Jackie gets to beat up Harrison a bit. Harrison gets a pair of rollups for two and they go outside again. Tony gets the guy’s name wrong and they fight to a double countout. By fight I mean Harrison gets beaten up.

Sullivan beats him up on the beach. Back to ringside and Harrison gets thrown in the water to a big pop. Sullivan, Jackie and Hart say their usual stuff post beating.

Here’s the NWO to close the show. The main thing here is that we need to confirm that Dennis Rodman is part of the NWO. We get an extended version of the thing that opened the show with Rodman getting an NWO shirt. Sting gets handed his NWO shirt but never puts it on, which is ignored by Hogan and Bischoff. The Outsiders are ready for the Steiners, Giant and Luger. Savage doesn’t remember DDP’s name and Sting has nothing to say on the subject. The segment ends and Heenan asks a very good question: with Bischoff’s power suspended, how do they get promo time?

With literally two and a half minutes left in the show, here are Public Enemy for a promo. They run down the Horsemen for bailing out on their tag match and taking the main event spot. Harlem Heat jumps them and we’re done. What a strange ending.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is a good example of the absence of good. The show isn’t really bad or anything, but nothing in the two hours that it was on was what I would call good. Most of the stuff on it is watchable and none of it is what I would call horrible or even bad, but the show did a pretty bad job of building to the PPV. I know about two matches on the card and the main event was literally not explained at all. I have no idea what the match is going to be like based on this show. That’s certainly a strategy for building a PPV up, but it was also used on the Doomsday Cage match so take it for what it’s worth.

Here’s Uncensored if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/09/02/uncensored-1997-sting-vs-hogan-begins/

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Monday Nitro – March 3, 1997: Worst Show Of The Series So Far

Monday Nitro #77
Date: March 3, 1997
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 13,693
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re closing in on Uncensored and we need to get the main event established already. So far we know it’s Team WCW vs. Team NWO but if my memory is right, tonight we’ll hear about a third team being added. This show would be going against Raw in Germany which had Bulldog vs. Owen in one of the best TV matches ever, so I think Nitro is going to lose in the quality war tonight. Let’s get to it.

The NWO arrives in what looks like a Hummer limo. After they come in another limo pulls up, containing Dr. Harvey Schiller, the real head of Turner Sports. Again with WCW’s idea of having real suits with no connection to the business playing themselves.

Hugh Morrus/Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael

Morrus and Jarrett get us going and it’s time to talk about the Dr. that showed up earlier on. Jarrett speeds things up and takes Morrus down with a shoulder and an atomic drop. Morrus comes back with right hands and brings in Konnan with the rolling clothesline. Morrus tries a spinning cross body while Konnan holds Jarrett, but Jeff low blows K-Dawg and Konnan takes the fat man. Mongo cleans house but here’s Public Enemy. Jarrett swings the briefcase at Rocco but it blasts Mongo for the pin.

Rating: D-. How many weeks in a row have we seen these two have some kind of a mishap that leads to a pin? It seemed to go on for months on end and it would continue over the summer. Jarrett didn’t get over because of this and he made the right move by jumping to the WWF in the fall.

Here are Anderson and Flair to complain about the miscommunication. Jarrett says that he’s Horsemen material but Flair gets in his face. Ric says Jarrett is making Flair look bad. Now THAT says a lot. Mongo yells a lot and Debra starts talking, drawing some LOUD booing. She doesn’t want to be on a losing team so GET IT TOGETHER.

Rick Fuller vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Fuller is a big guy standing probably 6’7. Page works on the arm to start followed by a belly to back. Fuller powers him down and drops a leg for two. The fans chant for DDP so he hits the spinning clothesline to take Fuller down. A slam is reversed into the Diamond Cutter for the easy pin. Fuller had a good look.

Page talks about the NWO beating him down last week and focuses on Savage in particular. He tells Savage to snap into the Diamond Cutter.

Juventud Guerrera vs. Ray Mendoza Jr.

That’s Mendoza, not Mysterio and he’s more famous as Villano IV. Mendoza tries to make this a technical match by taking it to the mat which makes sense against Guerrera. Juvy is like screw that in Spanish and hits a pair of ranas to send Mendoza to the floor. The plancha misses though and Mendoza takes over again. Back in an overhead belly to belly gets two. Juvy takes over and hits a springboard legdrop for two.

Off to a chinlock so the guys can catch their breath which is fine. Back up and a victory roll into a rana gets two for Juvy. Mendoza gets backdropped to the floor and they ignore the DQ rule because they want to. Juvy hits a suicide dive but Mendoza kicks away at him anyway. A slingshot rana brings Mendoza back in and they both go to the corner. They both go up and Mendoza gets crotched. A spinwheel kick puts him down and the 450 (to the knees) ends this.

Rating: D+. This was a lot sloppier than you would expect. The match wasn’t bad but other than Rey, you could more or less throw any Cruiserweight from another country and throw him in these spots and it would be about the same. Then again, this was still pretty new stuff at the time so it’s ok.

Kevin Sullivan, Jackie and Jimmy Hart take over the announcers’ desk and Jackie takes credit for Benoit and Woman not being here. She challenges any man on the roster, throwing out names like Hogan, Nash and Savage. Why is she allowed to talk? Who thinks it’s a good idea?

Hank Aaron is here.

Mike Enos vs. Dean Malenko

Malenko is all fired up here because of Eddie ticking him off and costing him the title if I remember right. He chokes Enos in the corner and takes out the knee. They head to the floor and Malenko works on the leg using the barricade. Back in and Enos finally gets in a knee lift to slow Dean down. And never mind as Dean takes the knee out again almost immediately. Malenko hits a top rope cross body but Enos rolls through for two. A clothesline puts Malenko down but a splash misses. Enos tries a slam but Dean small packages him for the pin.

Rating: D+. Basically just a squash but it was fun to see Dean going OFF like this, showing emotion for almost the first time in his career. He would pick up the US Title at the PPV, which should have been a step up in the card for him and to a degree it was, but he never really moved past that. To be fair, Malenko didn’t exactly have the charisma to get much higher.

Dean says he’ll do that to anyone that gets in his way.

Here’s Bischoff who says he would love to put up the NWO’s belts at Uncensored because they’re awesome like that. As he brags about how great the NWO is, here’s Harvey Schiller. Once we actually explain who he is (he’s in charge of Turner’s Sports and Bischoff’s real life boss), he says that Bischoff has to follow rules which he hasn’t been doing. Therefore, Eric is SUSPENDED. This was a big deal and it was one of the first big shots that WCW got back against the NWO. And of course WCW capitalized on it and won the war within 4 months right?

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon

Eddie is defending. The fans chant USA and it’s a feeling out process to start. Eddie takes him down with a headscissors but gets sent to the floor. Sonny tries to fire some kicks but Eddie is having none of that. He will however have some of Dragon’s kicks, including a spinwheel kick to take him down. Eddie rolls through a cross body and even though his feet are in the ropes, Dragon’s shoulder was up and Eddie is rolling on top of Dragon, the pin counts. That was a major botch of some kind and Eddie looks stunned by whatever happened.

Eddie says he’s tried to apologize to Dean so here’s Malenko in the flesh. Dean says he knows what Eddie’s true colors are and Eddie has no idea what’s going on. They yell a lot and that’s about it.

Hour #2 begins.

Scotty Riggs vs. Mr. Wallstreet

This is a fine example of people that remember Nitro being all drama and young guys having great matches. A lot of the time we had stuff like this to sit through. Riggs takes over quickly and hits a double ax to the head for two. Wallstreet sends him to the floor and does nothing out there, so let’s go back inside.

Schiller has officially made the main event for Uncensored, but it’s going to be a three way match with Piper having a team as well. We hit the chinlock but Riggs jawbreaks his way out of it. Elbow drop misses and Wallstreet takes over again. Riggs comes back with a middle rope missile dropkcik and a top rope sunset flip for two. And here’s Buff Bagwell for the DQ because MICHAEL FREAKING WALLSTREET has to be protected.

Rating: D. This got four minutes and a DQ finish. Look at the participants in this match for a minute and let that sink in. Riggs vs. Bagwell was such a pathetic feud and it was about as close to the Billy and Chuck of their day as you can get. Nothing here and for the life of me I don’t get why they didn’t just have a regular ending.

Piper is here because I guess he heard the announcement about getting a team and warped over. He talks about beating Hogan twice and calls the Outsiders cloned monkeys. Piper has two families: one in Oregon and one here with the fans. He’s going to make a third family out of people he…..oh sweet goodness not this. He’s going to have a series of tryouts tonight and the three winners make his team. Assuming there was nothing set up in a different kind of time frame, this was all set up within the last eight minutes or so. The fans are going to get to decide who makes his team.

Now keep in mind: three of these six guys will headline a WINNER TAKE ALL match on PPV in 13 days. Piper gets down to his trunks and the first guy is…..some dude in jeans. Tony: “I have no idea who that is.” Piper takes him down in an amateur position and the guy taps to a hammerlock very quickly. That’s a thumbs down.

Guy #2 is Horshu, who is more famous as Luther Reigns, who isn’t named Horshu yet and would only become a WCW Saturday Night guy in a few years. He fires off some left hands but gets put to sleep quickly.

#3 is a guy but “some guy with boxing gloves” jumps him. He looks like a cross between Eugene and Steve Williams. Piper has boxing gloves in his trunks for no apparent reason and let’s have a boxing match. Piper punches him into oblivion, gets knocked down then beats up Boxing Guy again, until Boxing Guy takes out the legs. The fans are starting to boo. Piper says bring it on and eventually gives the guy a spot on his team.

Wait we’re not done with Boxing guy because Piper says the fans are being too harsh so let’s fight some more. They take the gloves off and fight for about 20 more seconds before finally giving up on it.

#4 (I guess?) is a big fat guy who REALLY looks like Steve Williams. He’s barefoot so Tenay declares him a martial artist. Heenan: “He’s barefoot and tattooed. Sounds like the winner of the Miss Kentucky contest.” Piper gets kicked down but comes back with kicks of his own. He’s a legit black belt in Judo so he actually knows what he’s doing in a fight. This is before the letters UFC meant anything though, as they were only on their 12th show. The martial artist (none of them have had a name so far) gets totally gassed but tries to throw Piper out anyway. Piper escapes and gives this guy a spot on the team.

The final guy is John Tenta who at least gets a reaction because people know who he is. After a quick fight, the other teammates get in and it’s a big brawl. There’s the team I guess. Piper says it’s war with the NWO now. Thankfully this lasted about 5 minutes before WCW forgot these people existed and put in Jarrett, Benoit and Mongo instead. This got EIGHTEEN MINUTES. Let that sink in for a minute.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Mr. JL

Prince Iaukea gets to talk during this match for some reason. Rey takes over to start with a corkscrew dive for two. JL throws him into the air and brings him down into a DDT for a delayed two. He goes up but misses a diving headbutt. They go to the floor and JL hits a flip dive off the apron. Back in and Rey ranas him down for two. Rey finally gets to the apron and hits the West Coast Pop for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. This was a REALLY awkward match. It wasn’t terrible I guess but these two might as well have been wrestling blindfolded. They didn’t click at all and it felt like they were going with random moves instead of any kind of match with a flow or story at all. Just didn’t work at all.

Madusa is here and says she’s been here for more than a year. She threw away a title belt to open up women’s wrestling but can’t get on TV because of Bischoff. Gee what a shock. This goes on for awhile with her talking about how great women are until Luna Vachon debuts and jumps her.

Here’s the NWO in full force with “Sting”. Wait that’s actually him. Ok then. Eric says that they’re not worried about Schiller because they’re friends with Ted. Hogan makes fun of Piper’s team and Savage says Piper needs a psychiatrist. This somehow takes seven minutes to get through.

Steiner Brothers vs. Lex Luger/The Giant

Rick and Lex get things started as we’re rapidly running out of time. Lex takes him into the corner and Rick comes back with punches. Luger shows off the power and down goes Dog Face. Off to Scott as this is the Steiners’ first match back from the car wreck. Scott hits a butterfly powerbomb and it’s off to Giant who gets the crowd fired up. Rick tags himself in and comes off the middle rope with an ax handle to take him down. A GREAT double suplex puts Giant down for two. Everyone stops to stare at each other and it’s NWO time. Sting stands with the NWO and the match just kind of ends.

Rating: D. This was a lot of standing around for the sake of standing around until the NWO ran in to end the match. These four would wind up being Team WCW at the PPV which would be fine as all four had reason to face the NWO guys. This could have been a big time tag match too.

Piper and company come in through the crowd and the brawl finally gets going to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was a horrible show on all accounts. All of the matches were either barely watchable or horrible, there was a nearly 20 minute segment that got booed out of the building, and other than the Bischoff suspension (you know, the guy that was back an hour and a half later saying it meant nothing), NOTHING happened on this show. Terrible episode here and one of the worst in the history of the show.

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Slamboree 1998: See That Cliff Over There? We’re Headed Right For It

Slamboree 1998
Date: May 17, 1998
Location: The Centrum, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 11,592
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

It’s a month after Spring Stampede and as you know already, Hogan is champion again. Therefore, he’s not on the card tonight. The main event is a tag title match with Sting/Giant vs. the Outsiders. Also we have an open challenge from Eric Bischoff to Vince McMahon, which is a very interesting story which I’ll get to later on. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a bunch of shots of main event guys with words popping up on the screen.

The announcers talk to open the show. Hart vs. Savage tonight too with Piper as guest referee. Hart cost Savage the title to Hogan apparently. Also Giant has joined the NWO (again) and wants to win the titles with Sting and have Sting join the black and white.

We now get to the real focus of the show: Eric and Vince. So Eric issued a challenge to Vince on Nitro. On Thunder, Eric read a letter from Vince, saying that it was illegal to imply Vince would be at the PPV. Now here’s where it gets good. Vince SUED Bischoff for false advertising, because it was still being implied that Vince would be there, which is how things work in wrestling. WCW settled out of court, allegedly for A LOT of money.

TV Title: Fit Finlay vs. Chris Benoit

Finlay is defending and has the referee take the belt off of him. He shoves Benoit so Benoit chops him HARD. Finlay goes to a top wristlock and pushes Benoit down with it but a great looking bridge keeps Benoit off the mat. Benoit tries the Crossface but Finlay reverses into an armbar. The fans are all over Finlay here. Benoit fights out of that and hooks a hiptoss for two.

They chop it out, resulting in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Chris. Fit’s Boston Crab attempt is countered but he clotheslines Benoit down and out to the floor. The champ works on the shoulder and then a rear chinlock back in the ring. Benoit escapes via an electric chair drop but Finlay is up first. Off to a reverse chinlock for a bit and they head to the floor. Benoit hits him in the back with a chair which is ok I guess. He sets for a suicide dive but Finlay holds up the chair and Benoit’s head crashes into it. I cringe a bit every time I see stuff like that now.

Back in, Finlay clotheslines him down again and it’s time for the chinlock. This one is shorter as Benoit kicks him off, shoulder first into the corner. Rolling Germans take Finlay down but he counters the third by ramming Benoit’s throat into the rope. A quick Crossface attempt is escaped but Benoit hits the snap suplex.

He loads up the Swan Dive but here’s Booker T. He doesn’t do anything but Benoit’s distraction allows Finlay to shove Benoit off the top. Back in a small package gets two for Benoit. He’s been using a lot of those quick rollups here. And never mind as Finlay hits the Tombstone out of nowhere for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: C+. Pretty good match here and a solid opener, although cutting two or three minutes off would have made it better. Finlay is a guy that the more I see the more I like as he was a very stiff kind of wrestler which is the kind of stuff I tend to like. Benoit of course could go move for move with Finlay so that worked out fine. Good opener but it ran a bit long.

Jericho doesn’t care who he’s facing in the title match tonight. It’s decided by a battle royal later tonight.

Brian Adams vs. Lex Luger

Adams is the latest NWO lackey. I think this is somehow connected to the Steiners but I’m not sure what Heenan is talking about. Luger punches him immediately and knocks Adams to the floor. He goes after Adams’ shoulder, which is payback for Rick Steiner it seems. Lex calls for the Rack but stops to beat up Vincent, which lets Adams hit a piledriver to change the momentum. They go to the floor for a bit and back inside, Brian hits a backbreaker for two. Legdrop gets the same and then they clothesline each other. Vincent gets knocked off the apron and the Rack gets the tap out.

Rating: D. This had no business being on PPV. It should have been on Nitro or something, but I guess it filled in the six minutes that they needed. I’m still not 100% sure what happened with Steiner but I guess that’s because I haven’t watched the Nitros leading up to this. Luger’s push would eventually land him in the Wolfpack because…..well because Luger was a popular face.

Saturn says there’s no gauntlet match tonight. He’s fighting Goldberg on his own. What about Saturn? What about him?

Battle Royal

Super Calo, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Ciclope, Damien, El Dandy, El Grio, Juventud Guerrera, Marty Jannetty, Kidman, Evan Karagis, Lenny Lane, Psychosis, Silver King, Johnny Swinger, Villano IV

There are fifteen cruiserweights in it and the winner gets Jericho for the title immediately thereafter. Jericho did some funny intros for all of them. You can be eliminated by pin or being thrown out of the ring, be it through or over the ropes. Karagis is put out first by Kidman. Everyone is doing little stuff to open things up as you would expect. Swinger is out and El Grio, a fat guy, goes up and takes a few guys down but not out.

Silver King went out somewhere in there. Lane and El Dandy have a short mini-match and Dandy backdrops Grio out. I think there are ten or eleven left in there. Someone puts Jannetty out and Damien eliminates Villano. There are eight left now. Lane poses on the ropes and gets knocked out as well. Damien tries to walk the ropes like an idiot and deserves the elimination he gets.

Chavo dropkicks Dandy out so we have Chavo, Psychosis, Kidman, Ciclope and Juvy. Kidman low bridges Chavo to get us down to four. Psychosis misses a charge in the corner and eliminates himself. Juvy dumps Kidman and it’s down to Guerrera and Ciclope. They stare each other down for a LONG time, shake hands, and Juvy eliminates himself. More on this in a second.

Rating: C. This was fine all things considered. The match only ran about eight minutes and the whole point was the surprise ending, and then the bigger surprise a few seconds later. There weren’t very many big spots here, but everyone got out fast enough. There’s not much to complain about or praise here so we’ll say it’s right in the middle.

Jericho gets in the ring and Ciclope immediately takes off his mask to reveal…..DEAN MALENKO. This gets an eruption from the crowd. See, the idea is that Jericho beat Malenko and Malenko left out of frustration. Jericho spent two months running his mouth about Malenko, so no one had seen Dean since March. People wanted to see him come back and beat the stuffing out of Jericho, and now Jericho had nowhere to run. It got people to care and the response is awesome.

Cruiserweight Title: Dean Malenko vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho freaks out and Dean hammers on him, going off like he never has before in his WCW career. Jericho tries to wrestle but Dean just pounds him down time after time. Juvy is cheering at ringside. Dean throws Jericho into the barricade but Chris gets in some shots as Dean gets back in. Dean is like screw that and pounds Jericho down in the corner again. The champ finally gets a breather off a hot shot.

A senton backsplash puts Dean down but he doesn’t get covered. The crowd is all over Jericho here. Suplex gets two. Lionsault gets the same. A backbreaker looks to set up the Liontamer (the move that put Dean out) but Malenko counters into a quick ankle lock. Jericho gets to the rope and hits a jumping back elbow for two. Dean comes back AGAIN and beats Jericho’s head in. I’m liking this violent version of him. Jericho puts him on top but gets caught in the super gutbuster. The Texas Cloverleaf goes on and Jericho finally taps out, drawing one of the best pops from this era of WCW.

Rating: B. The match was just ok but the reaction is GREAT. This is what you call a well crafted story with a perfect ending in Jericho tapping out. Since this is WCW they screwed it up by giving Jericho the title back in two weeks but this worked very well. I think ti’s one of those storylines that would have been better had you went through the buildup though.

A white limo arrives as shown by, I kid you not, the Vinnie Mac cam. Tony takes shots at JR while we find out it’s not Vince.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

This is a Bowery Death Match, which means last man standing in a cage which has weapons inside. There’s a top on the cage too which makes it even better. Raven comes out with a bunch of guys in riot squad gear. Page goes fast to start and rams Raven’s head into the buckle over and over. Raven manages to send him into the cage to escape and things slow down.

Raven pours out his first bucket of weapons and picks a bullrope. Page clotheslines him down and takes the rope himself which goes around Raven’s neck. The other end of the rope goes around the top of the cage and Raven hangs him up from the cage, pulling on the rope with all of his weight. That gets an 8 so Page breaks a VCR over his head (holy stolen ECW spot Batman! It was bounced off Raven’s head in both companies).

Page goes after him again and is kicked into the trashcan, putting both guys down now. Bird Boy hits Page twice with the can for about a seven count each time. Cookie sheet shots do about the same. Raven puts on a sleeper but Page kicks away, knocking the referee down in the process. Another sleeper attempt results in a jawbreaker and the drop toehold onto the chair to Raven.

The Flock breaks through the riot squad and bring boltcutters with them. Van Hammer, recently thrown out of the Flock, pops up from under the ring and beats them up with a stop sign before any real damage can be done. A riot squad member hits Hammer and the rest of them get him out of here. Page is up and beating on Raven but the riot squad comes in anyway. It’s Kidman and Horace but there are two more somewhere else.

Page knocks Horace down and Diamond Cuts Kidman off the cage that Kidman was hanging from (looked awesome). They slug it out a bit more (that would be Raven and Page in case you’ve lost track) and Raven hits a Diamond Cutter on Page for about 8. A chair shot misses Page and the real Diamond Cutter gets the win for Page.

Rating: C. Decent brawl and I think it was the blowoff to the feud. If not it should be because there’s nothing else that Page can overcome in this feud. It wasn’t great though as it was more about the other guys than the two in the match which hurt it a good bit. Still though, entertaining enough and Page won in the end which is the right idea.

Post match another riot squad member comes in and cuffs I think Sick Boy to the cage before cuffing Raven and attacking him. He unmasks to reveal…..Mortis. Then he unmasks as Chris Kanyon who isn’t named yet. With Raven cuffed to the cage, Kanyon hits him with the chair (Chairshot heard round the world? What’s that?). Apparently Kanyon had been seen as a vendor lately at TV shows.

Back to the Vinnie cam which includes people being checked as they come in to make sure they’re not WWF guys.

Ultimo Dragon vs. Eddie Guerrero

If Dragon wins, Chavo is freed from his uncle’s control. They go to the mat to start with Eddie in control. He gets a test of strength grip and drops onto Dragon’s bridge but can’t break it. That’s always cool to see. Dragon pops up and tries the kicks but Eddie ducks and hits a dropkick to take over again. Dragon hits a headscissors and monkey flip and then the kicks. The crowd is noticeably quieter than they were earlier in the night.

Eddie bails for a bit but comes back in only to get kicked even more. Off to a half crab by the masked man but Eddie escapes and hooks a chinlock. They go to the floor and Eddie wants Chavo to help with the beatdown but Chavo wants nothing to do with it. Dragon hits an enziguri to knock Eddie to the floor and hits the Asai Moonsault, but it puts him down too.

Back inside Dragon hits something like Shock Treatment for two. Top rope moonsault gets two. Dragon tries his super rana but Eddie reverses into a tornado DDT but the Frog Splash misses. Dragon Sleeper goes on but Eddie gets a rope. Eddie hooks one of his own but Chavo breaks it up when Eddie cheats. Chavo argues on the apron and gets kicked down with a spin kick. Brainbuster and Frog Splash get the pin.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but I would expect more out of these two. This was more about the Eddie vs. Chavo feud and extending that out a bit more. I think this is the one that resulted in Chavo going insane but the timing seems off on that. Also I don’t remember the blowoff for it but I’d assume it was in a few weeks/months. The match was ok but would have probably been fine on Nitro.

Chavo looks at Eddie and then beats up Dragon because Dragon didn’t free him. Eddie is about to get punched but gets a kiss on the cheek instead. Ok then.

Vince has his own dressing room.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Saturn

This was supposed to be a Goldberg vs. Flock gauntlet match but they changed it the day of the show for no apparent reason. Saturn gets in some quick offense to start but Goldberg clotheslines him down and hits the gorilla press powerslam. A gorilla press drop sets up another clothesline and a superkick stops Saturn’s comeback. Saturn comes back with a legsweep and then he slaps Goldberg in the face for some reason.

A neckbreaker puts Saturn down and he pounds Perry in the corner. They go to the floor but Goldberg accidentally clotheslines the post. Back inside and Saturn hooks a sleeper which is broken with ease. A belly to belly puts but he pops up with a swinging neckbreaker and hooks a sleeper. Goldie hits a neckbreaker of his own to escape so Saturn pulls in a chair. He uses it as a springboard to dropkick Goldberg’s back but a second attempt results in a spear out of the air. Jackhammer and we’re done.

Rating: C. Way better than last month and I think it was partially because it was a minute or so shorter. That and the thicker air probably helped. Goldberg would be moved on to the world title in about two months as he should have been. Saturn would turn against the Flock soon and break them up for good.

Great American Bash ad, featuring Raven.

Here’s Eric for the Vince challenge. Eric actually has Buffer do an intro for Vince, who apparently is off saving a bus full of nuns because he’s not here. The referee counts and Bischoff officially wins. And they wonder why people eventually stopped caring about this company.

Bret Hart vs. Randy Savage

Piper is guest referee and this is payback for Bret costing Savage the title. See how easy that was? Savage is Wolfpack, Hart is black and white. Hart bails to the floor for some stalling but Piper throws him in instead. Bret keeps stalling and they lock up about a minute in. Hart goes to the eyes and pounds on Randy in the corner. Savage hits him low (I think) and chokes away while Piper shouts FIGHT over and over again.

Randy keeps choking and drops an elbow on the throat while Bret is on the mat. Bret comes back with a headbutt and legdrop followed by a suplex from the apron into the ring. Backbreaker still doesn’t get a cover. Out to the floor and Hart misses a big chair shot, getting sent into the steps as a punishment. They go into the crowd and fight around the hockey boards. At least I think they are as you can barely see their heads let alone the rest of them.

Back to ringside now as Piper gets praised for some reason. Bret goes for the knee which was injured coming in. Scott Hall has arrived at the arena now. Russian Legsweep and a piledriver get two. DDT puts Savage down but Bret talks to the fans instead of covering. A backbreaker sets up the middle rope elbow but he uses a traditional one instead and Savage moves. Savage snaps into a suplex for two.

Savage goes up and hits the big elbow but lands on his knee so the cover is delayed, meaning it only gets two. Bret gets up and hooks the Sharpshooter but here’s Liz for the save. She didn’t come out with Savage here either. And never mind as Savage broke the hold before she got here and put the hold on Bret. Liz comes in and shoves Piper, which distracts Savage long enough for Bret to hit him low. Bret has a foreign object and clocks Piper with it but Savage steals it away. Cue Hogan who wraps Savage’s leg around the post. Sharpshooter and we’re done.

Rating: D. The opening ten to twelve minutes were REALLY boring, then it picked up a bit, then we had two run-ins and a foreign object for the ending. The match was just boring and it really hurt things here. It was clear that neither guy cared that much at this point and can you blame them? Neither guy was going to get anywhere near the main event longer than a quick stretch at a time because Hogan and Nash were dominating things. This had moments but not enough of them.

Tag Titles: Sting/The Giant vs. Outsiders

Guess who has the titles coming in. Dusty is with the Outsiders which is supposed to mean something. So Hall and Nash are Wolfpack, Giant is Black and White and Sting is whatever. Giant wants him in the NWO but he hasn’t given an answer yet. Hall and Sting start us off with Sting walking into a chokeslam but coming back with his kind of bulldog move. A pair of Stinger Splashes sets up the Scorpion but Nash makes the save.

Giant comes in and the mixed faction team clears the ring. The biggest man comes in legally so Hall does his Frankenstein (‘s monster) deal and tags Nash. Nash gets run over so Giant does the Hogan hand to his ear. An elbow drop keeps Nash down and Giant sends him to the corner for some hip attacks. The fans chant for the Wolfpack as Sting comes in and walks into a big boot for the Outsiders to take over.

Hall’s fallaway slam gets two. Back to Nash for some Snake Eyes and then Hall gets another tag. The Outsiders work Sting over and Hall does his abdominal stretch. Nash hits the side slam and it’s bearhug time. Sting escapes for a bit and dives at Nash to make the tag. Giant comes in and takes Nash down and drops a leg for two. He goes up top (oh boy) but his splash misses. Nash sets for the powerbomb but Hall turns on him, hits him with the belt and Giant gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was another slow and boring match with a bad ending. Usually I would go into some intentionally complicated statement of what just happened and say something like “got all that?” after it but I can’t figure it out well enough to type it all up. That’s the problem with something like this: it got way too complicated way too fast and when you need a flow chart to tell what’s going on, it’s not going to last long.

Post match Hall, Giant and Rhodes all hug. Sting would join the Wolfpack soon. Giant tells Sting to come join them to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Of the three I’ve done, this was certainly the best but that’s not really saying much. There are parts here that are certainly good, but the WNO stuff was so overdone and so overly complicated that everyone stopped caring. They had to elevate Goldberg because they had no one to put out there as the top face of the company. The show was ok at times but man once WCW started to go downhill, it went off a cliff, through the ground, around the world and over the cliff again. This would be the start of that.

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Road Wild 1997: You Can See The Problems Mounting Up Already

Road Wild 1997
Date: August 9, 1997
Location: Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, Sturgis, South Dakota
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

Back to the motorcycle place and to the shock of everyone, Hogan ISN’T champion! He lost the title to Luger on Monday just before this match. That’s always been surprising because you would think they would just have Sting break the year and a half reign. Instead they went with this which is questionable but it was a bit of a breather at least. There isn’t much else to talk about here so let’s get to it.

Harlem Heat vs. Vicious and Delicious

That’s Norton and Bagwell. Buff and Booker get us going here. Booker hooks the arm but Bagwell dropkicks him into the corner and it’s off to Norton. Ray comes in for a power vs. power brawl and Norton gets slammed. Back to Booker for a suplex which gets two but a spin kick is countered into a kind of powerbomb. Buff cleans house for some reason but Booker knocks him to the outside.

Booker hooks a chinlock which is a heel move but since they’re against the NWO, wouldn’t that make them faces? Bagwell fights up and hits a clothesline to set up the tag to Norton. Stevie breaks up the tag as I can’t get over the heel/face dynamic being so backwards here. Cue Jackie to really make this match great. Harlem Heat had been promising a surprise before this and I guess it’s her.

Bagwell comes back from the beating with a powerbomb of all things and it’s off to Norton off a hot (?) tag. Vincent’s interference fails so Ray beats him up. Norton hits Booker with the shoulderbreaker but Jackie interferes enough to let Booker side kick Norton down for the pin. What an odd match.

Rating: D. I’m not sure what the idea here was but it really didn’t work all that well. First of all, the heel/face dynamic was completely backwards here, as the NWO team wrestled as faces. Harlem Heat wrestled as heels and had Bagwell in trouble most of the time, plus Norton got a hot tag and the Heat had a manager interfere. Oh and Jackie sucks but you already know that. I don’t know what was going on here but it didn’t work.

DiBiase talks about how awesome his team of Steiners are.

Konnan vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

This is a Mexican Death Match, which I think means knockout or submission only. Konnan is NWO also. Apparently it’s a Mexican Grudge Death Match and it’s No DQ. That’s the only rule apparently. Rey has a bad leg coming in. He speeds things up to start and hits a springboard missile dropkick to take over. That’s quite a leg injury. Konnan drops him on the buckle and hits a clothesline to the back of Rey’s head to take him down.

Konnan hooks a leg lock and Rey screams a lot. Mysterio gets sent to the floor and tries to jump over Konnan to come back in, but he hurts his knee again. A chopblock puts Rey down again and it’s time to crank on the leg. The leg work continues for awhile as there’s not much to say. Konnan puts on leg hold #19 and goes after Rey’s mask. A powerbomb puts Rey down so he can get a better attempt at it.

Konnan gets the mask off but can’t get it completely off, so Rey gets in a weak shot to the ribs and puts the mask back on. Rey’s offense is pretty bad due to the injured leg and his double springboard moonsault misses badly. Konnan kicks the knee out again and this needs to end soon. There’s a modified Stump Puller (he puts Rey’s legs in figure four position but sits Rey up and sits on the neck, pulling back on Mysterio’s legs) but it keeps going as Konnan gets bored. Mysterio comes back with a quick rollup for two. Rey goes up but gets caught in a cradle DDT and the Tequila Sunrise for the tap.

Rating: D+. So why was this no DQ again? It was never mentioned or used at all. The leg work was ok enough and the match wasn’t all that bad, but for a DEATH match, there wasn’t anything deadly about it at all. If this were a regular match it would have been ok enough, but don’t add the gimmick names if there’s nothing special about them.

Mean Gene has gotten a tattoo. My goodness.

Dean Malenko/Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

This is an elimination tag for no apparent reason. The Horsemen feud is STILL going on and mainly is between Jarrett and McMichael, neither of whom got over because of it. Jarrett and Benoit start and Jarrett wants little to do with that so it’s time for Dean. Benoit runs him over and Dean slows things down. That doesn’t last long as Benoit starts running again, but misses an enziguri. Dean misses an elbow and it’s a standoff.

They fight over a victory roll and Dean gets two off a small package. Benoit tags in Mongo who charges into a drop toehold. Dean hits the ropes but gets kicked in the back for the Horsemen to take over. They keep alternating on him for a few minutes with Mongo using a variety of side slams, which are some of the only moves he was decent at. Jarrett runs from Mongo as Mongo tries a tackle at Dean. Malenko jumps over him and makes the tag to Jarrett, who is terrified.

Jeff, the US Champion, comes in and pulls Mongo on top of himself and intentionally gets pinned. THE US CHAMPION PEOPLE! So now it’s a handicap match so Dean goes crazy to start, grabbing some fast rollups. Benoit reverses a tombstone and hits the Swan Dive but it’s back to Mongo for more beating. Tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: C-. Everything without Jarrett in there was fine. When Mongo is better than you in a match, you need to get out. Thankfully Jarrett would jump to the WWF in about two months. This country music entrance that he had and all the stuff with Miss Debra didn’t work AT ALL, so they pushed it for the better part of a year. It just dragged everything down and no one ever cared. Jeff didn’t get interesting until he became a jerk with short hair in 1998. Then he was bearable.

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Alex Wright

Wright is champion. Feeling out process to start with Wright running to the ropes. The fans chant gay slurs at him as the feeling out continues. Jericho charges at Wright which gets him nowhere. Some chops and right hands put Wright down on the floor and we stall some more. Back in Wright grabs a headlock which is quickly broken and Jericho hits a spinwheel kick to send Wright back to the floor.

As Alex comes back in, Jericho crotches him and hits the springboard dropkick to send him to the floor for a third time. Jericho finally gets bored and dives out to the floor to take Wright down. Wright sends him into the steps to take over and adds a suplex on the outside. Coming back in, Jericho LAUNCHES him off the top with a slam which gets two. Off to a headlock by the challenger. He goes to the arm instead as things slow down.

Wright comes back and counters a leapfrog with another spinwheel kick. The champ dances again as Dusty says a win here could drive a stake into the heart of the NWO. Ok then. Alex takes forever to set up a moonsault and Jericho rolls away. Lionsault hits Wright’s back but he adds a senton backsplash before getting two. Jericho’s double powerbomb gets a delayed two. Wright grabs a suplex for two and Jericho counters the German suplex into a cradle for the same. Wright reverses a rollup into one of his own with tights for the pin.

Rating: C-. It was slow paced for the most part but it was ok. The ending however sucked and it keeps up with the running theme of the night: not a horrible match but it’s nothing that you would ever want to see again. It’s also not great but it could have been far worse. That makes it the worst kind of match: just ok and mostly boring.

Syxx vs. Ric Flair

After a lot of stalling and taunting, we get an armdrag and it’s time for more stalling. Syxx controls a bit but misses a charge to send himself to the floor. Flair slows it down and Syxx does some of his usual stuff. Flair chops him down but Syxx comes back with a spin kick to the back of the head to take him down. Bronco Buster hits and it’s off to a chinlock. This is a really boring match so far.

Guillotine legdrop gets two. Back to the chinlock as this match needs to end already. We go to a wide shot of the crowd because the director is getting bored of the match too. Flair starts his comeback with his strikes but Syxx hits an enziguri to take him down. A flip dive misses and it’s time to go for the knee. Figure Four goes on but Syxx is in the ropes. Buzzkiller (Crossface chickenwing) is broken up so here’s another Bronco Buster. Flair puts his foot into Syxx’s crotch, rolls him up and uses the feet on the ropes for the pin.

Rating: D. Whatever man. This went nowhere at all and was full of rest holds that didn’t do anything to excite the crowd. Syxx was so boring around this time as he knew he didn’t have to do anything because he was friends with the big shots. Also great to see Flair wasted on a midcard match instead of putting over some young guy. Very boring match.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Curt Hennig

This is a grudge match for some reason. We get a very quick brawl on the floor before they head back in for the bell. It’s a slugout to begin and Page spins Hennig around BY HIS HAIR. Hennig gets to do his slide into the post balls first spot. Page goes up but Curt falls onto the ropes to crotch him. There’s the necksnap and Hennig puts on a spinning toehold.

A quick sleeper is broken up by Page and he hooks a spinning sunset flip for two. Hennig clotheslines him down for two. A kickout lands on the referee so Hennig takes off the buckle pad. Page gets rammed into it but there’s no cover. Perfectplex gets two. Page starts his comeback and loads up the Pancake, but Hennig’s foot hits the referee. Cue Flair who comes off the top but walks into the Diamond Cutter. Another Perfectplex gets the pin. Page can kick his feet but can’t lift a free shoulder?

Rating: C. This was just ok and it’s pretty easily the best match of the night. Page and Hennig had good chemistry but there wasn’t much to do here. Flair coming in didn’t help anything at all but he was recruiting Hennig into the Horsemen which eventually resulted in what else? Hennig joining the NWO. Not a bad match but this show is pretty much beyond saving at this point.

Call the Hotline!

Promo from the NWO. It’s one of their pretaped deals.

According to Tony, the next three matches are the biggest in WCW history.

The Giant vs. Randy Savage

Nothing special to the match, but it’s the third biggest match in company history at worst. That would include being ahead of Luger winning the title on Monday I guess. Savage is NWO and Giant is one of WCW’s main soldiers against him. Savage stalls like the true Memphis man that he is. He gets in and tries to slam Giant which fails of course. Giant works him over with his usual power stuff until Savage heads to the floor.

That goes badly for him as well with Giant picking up the human shield known as Liz and moving her to the other side. Back in Savage takes out the knee and gets Giant down. He wraps the knee around the post and stomps on the knee some more. Double ax gets two but the second attempt is countered into a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash but that’s ok for the most part. Giant would move on to feuding with Nash soon after this in one of the stupidest and most pathetic displays I can remember in a long time. Anyway, the match was short enough to keep from getting boring which is more than I can say for the rest of the show.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

So here it is. After seven months of screwjobs, cheating finishes, no matches and everything else, the Outsiders have to face the Steiners for the titles. There is no reason for anything but new champions (the Outsiders are defending) here, so you should know what’s coming already. The Steiners come out on motorcycles, so let’s look at the fireworks instead! Scott and Scott get us going. For the sake of sanity during this match, Scott Hall will only be called Hall and Scott Steiner will only be called Scott.

Hall punches him down but Scott comes back with a butterfly suplex and everything breaks down. The Steiners clear the ring and they do their pose. Off to Rick vs. Nash with the giant trying Snake Eyes, only to get reversed into a suplex to put him down. Off to Scott but Hall’s distraction allows Nash to kick his head off and take over. Nash does the running crotch attack to the ropes and Scott is in trouble.

Off to Hall who hits his fallaway slam for two. Abdominal stretch goes on and the Outsiders cheat of course. Hall knocks Scott off the apron and it’s more dominance by the champions. Back to Nash for some chinlockery. Now for a change of pace, Hall comes in to give us the exact same thing. Scott picks Hall up and drops him down with an electric chair. Nash breaks up the tag again and Scott’s beating continues.

Big boot gets two. Nash does the leg choke in the corner but another big boot (this one with the left leg for some reason) misses. Scott can’t make the tag as Hall comes in with an elbow to the back. Outsider Edge is escaped and Scott hits a belly to belly to put both guys down. Hot tag to Rick and house is cleaned. Here comes the Steiner Bulldog to Hall and Nash pulls the referee out for the DQ. Yes, that’s the real ending.

Rating: D. Screw it. Seriously SCREW THIS COMPANY. There is ZERO reason at all to do this other than for the sake of screwing over the fans and the Steiners and keeping the belts on the Outsiders because they want them. The Steiners would win the titles in a few months (on Nitro of course) and no one cared because THEY SHOULD HAVE WON HERE. There is no reason for the titles to not change here that isn’t a service job for the NWO. Just freaking stupid and a big part of why the company was starting to reach trouble.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s strange seeing the title on Luger for the first time. He never wore that belt back in the day despite chasing Flair for it for about four years. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading power moves. Luger runs him over so Hogan grabs the arm. Now Luger grabs Hogan’s arm. A few arm drags send Hogan to the floor and we take a breather on the floor. Back in the ring Hogan sends him into the corner and takes some control.

A slam and elbow drop get two. Off to a chinlock about six minutes into this. That’s a bit early no? Luger blocks a ram into the buckles and gives Hogan ten for his effort. Out to the floor and Hogan chokes away with a cord. We head back in and Hogan chokes in there instead. Off to a bearhug which evolves into the test of strength, which ends with a low blow to Lex.

Hogan is basically out of offense now so he just smacks Luger around with really basic slaps to various parts of the head. Big boot gets two. Luger no sells a suplex and makes his comeback but Luger takes him right back down. The legdrop misses and Lex fires off his clotheslines. Cue the NWO and despite three of them getting in the ring and a fourth getting on the apron, that isn’t a DQ. Cue Sting (the announcers are sure that it’s the real one, even though he’s black) who hits Luger with the bat and the legdrop gives Hogan the title back.

Rating: F+. Whatever here man. It’s a bad ending to a bad show. Hogan clearly had no business being out there for 16 minutes because he didn’t have anything to use after the end of his five move offense. The title change on Monday meant nothing and the ending here is stupid due to the announcers not noticing the incredible tan that Sting has gotten I guess.

It’s Dennis Rodman of course. The last eight minutes or so are the announcers freaking out and Hogan celebrating. Oh and they spraypaint the belt in the back and initiate Rodman into the NWO.

Overall Rating: F. You know until the end of this, I would have been ok with just saying that this was boring but not all that bad. Then they had the two IDIOT endings like they did which was more of the same. It was clear by this point that the NWO was about to cripple the company. Based on this it’s no surprise that the WWF would be starting to draw closer.

It wouldn’t happen for about 8 months, but once the WWF took over again, they wouldn’t let go (mostly) because WCW was that stupid. This is a great example of it, although the tag match is much worse than the main event from a booking perspective. The main event’s booking makes sense due to Sting in December, but the wrestling was just awful. Terrible show.

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Monday Nitro – February 17, 1997: Two Of The Most Bizarre Segments In Wrestling History

Monday Nitro #75
Date: February 17, 1997
Location: Florida State Fairgrounds, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyzsko, Bobby Heenan

This is the go home show for SuperBrawl which came out of nowhere. This is probably the beginning of Piper on Alcatraz (don’t ask) and I’m sure more of the Horsemen being destroyed before our very eyes. Also I’m sure we’ll get Piper and Hogan talking a lot and expect to hear the words “biggest match EVER” quite a bit tonight. Let’s get to it.

The two NWO limos arrive to open the show. They walk in but realize that one of their members is down. They throw out the cameraman and we couldn’t tell who it was.

Rey Mysterio vs. Super Calo

Calo grabs the leg to take Rey down and puts on a chinlock. Rey comes back and speeds things up but springboards into a dropkick. Rey gets knocked to the apron and Calo tries a sunset bomb but Rey counters into a rana. Calo pops up onto the apron and hits a missile dropkick to the floor. We’re told that the Steiners are out of the fourway on Sunday because of a car wreck. Oh we’ll get to that in a minute.

We cut to the back and Bubba was the NWO member that was hurt and is being loaded into an ambulance. Back to the ring and Calo drapes the arm over the top rope. Rey comes back with something like a springboard Whisper in the Wind for two. Springboard guillotine legdrop gets two. Rey goes up but gets headscissored down. That goes nowhere as Rey knocks him down and the West Coast Pop gets the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a pretty good high flying match and that’s the right idea for an opener. Rey was in a different league than almost anyone else on the roster.  he was also almost as popular as anyone else on the roster, which is why it took him years to get away from the Cruiserweight division.  Makes sense right?

Hugh Morrus vs. Steve McMichael

McMichael runs him over a few times to start things off and the fans actually seem to like him. He yells something to Debra and gets run over for his efforts. Morrus grabs the ankle and works on the leg a bit. He keeps laughing at Debra which fits him pretty well I guess. He loads up the moonsault but Debra throws in the briefcase to Mongo. The moonsault hits the case and Morrus gets pinned as a result.

Rating: D-. Mongo just wasn’t that good. He was very slowly getting better but putting him in the Horsemen and then giving him the US Title just wasn’t a good idea. He would pretty much be the same guy for the rest of his career and I don’t think anyone really cared. Nothing to see here though as Debra was almost the focus of the match.

We get a video of a few weeks ago with Piper and his son getting humiliated by the NWO.

Dean Malenko vs. Robbie Brookside

Brookside is a somewhat famous British guy. Dean actually talks before the match, calling out Syxx on Sunday. The match starts and Tony explains to us about how Dean’s dad trained Syxx. My goodness an actual story! Dean takes him down and works on the arm. He tries some holds but Brookside keeps rolling out of them. Robbie hits a northern lights suplex for two. They go to the mat for a pinfall reversal sequence that results in a Dean suplex into a modified Cloverleaf for the quick tap out. Too short to rate but this was really fast paced.

Syxx comes out and says that the respect and gratitude he had for Dean’s dad died with Dean’s old man. He never liked Dean and Dean has been ducking him.

The NWO sneaks up on the announcers’ desk and talk about the car wreck the Steiners were in. You can’t pin that on them though and there’s a tape to prove it. Larry almost gets in a fight with them.

Public Enemy vs. Amazing French Canadians

Harlem Heat and the Faces of Fear are in the audience. We get a quick French national anthem and the brawl begins. The Canadians take over quickly and send Grunge to the floor where Parker stomps on him a bit. We officially start with Oullette vs. Grunge and the Canadians keep control early on. Off to a fast chinlock but Grunge gets up. He sends Oullette into Jacques but Oullette collides with Grunge. No tag to Rock but the Canadians miss the Cannonball. There’s the hot tag and Rock cleans house. Everything breaks down and Oullette is put through a table and pinned.

Rating: D. This didn’t work for me at all. The whole ending was horrible looking as the table spot looked like it was about as planned out as you could ask for. The rest of the match was nothing of note. For the life of me I don’t get the appeal of the Canadians as a serious tag team. They would get back to WWF within a year.

DDP has no idea what happened to Bubba and doesn’t like being accused of it.

TV Title: Steven Regal vs. Prince Iaukea

Before the match Regal says that Rey reminds him of Dopey of the Seven Dwarves. Regal yells at a lot of fans before we get going. The Prince shoulder blocks him down and Regal isn’t sure what to do. The champ comes back with a European Uppercut and a release suplex. A butterfly superplex puts Iaukea down and Rey comes out to watch. Regal poses at him and the Prince rolls him up for the pin and the title in probably the biggest upset in Nitro history. Public Enemy and Teddy Long come out to celebrate for some reason.

Rating: D. The match sucked because it was so short. See, four days before this Raw had a special Thursday episode where their islander/Samoan Rocky Maivia beat their blueblood HHH for the IC Title in a shocking upset. Think that’s a coincidence? I know it might be but to me, that’s too close to be a stroke of luck. Iaukea would SUCK as champion for almost two months.

Hour #2 begins so we hit the recap button.

Nick Patrick vs. Randy Anderson

If Anderson wins, he gets his job back. Patrick trained to be a wrestler but blew out his knee so he became a referee instead, meaning he actually has an idea of what he’s doing. Apparently Anderson has an amateur background. He even gets fire as he comes to the ring. The regular referee checks for weapons and hands Anderson a foreign object. On camera of course so you know it’s going to be called out later. Randy hits him and wins in about 30 seconds.

Just as you knew would happen, Eric comes out and says no way. Anderson is still fired. I think the regular referee is done too.

Lee Marshall is in San Francisco.

Chris Benoit vs. Roadblock

Roadblock looks like Rhyno if he was about 9 inches taller and 200 pounds heavier. George Steinbrenner is here. Benoit goes right at him but Roadblock uses his size to take over. Woman slaps him and Roadie goes to the floor after her, allowing Benoit to hit a GREAT baseball slide. Benoit goes off on him and throws him back in. A boot to the face puts Roadblock down and the Swan Dive gets the pin. Basically a Benoit squash.

Now we get one of the dumbest moments in the history of professional wrestling. It’s the video that the Outsiders gave to Tony earlier. It’s from inside a car with Syxx manning the camera, Hall riding shotgun and Nash driving. They’re in a small town and see the Steiners at a gas station. They follow the Steiners’ car and bump into the back of it a few times before ramming into the side of it, causing it to FLIP OVER and crash. And remember, the NWO gave this tape to WCW to air ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.

Even Tony Schiavone realizes that this is evidence of a criminal act.

Jimmy Hart, Jackie and Sullivan stop for a chat before their squash. Jimmy talks about how Jackie and Woman will be tired together on Sunday. Jackie has no issue hitting Woman. Sullivan thinks it’s perfect timing to have Jackie return right before this match. That’s a funny comment when you think about it. He makes more vague statements about leaving the neighborhood and says on Sunday, we’ll see who has more fire. Jackie says something and no one cares.

Kevin Sullivan vs. Doc Dean

Sullivan immediately runs Dean over and I don’t like Doc’s odds. He sends Dean to the floor so Jackie can beat him up. Dean grabs a small package out of nowhere for two. Jackie beats Dean up some more. There’s the Tree of Woe and the double stomp ends the massacre.

US Title: Konnan vs. Eddie Guerrero

Power vs. speed to start and Konnan is sent to the floor. Konnan sends him into the barricade and takes over with a chinlock and low dropkick for two. Eddie comes back with a rana but gets launched over Konnan’s head, sending him face first into the buckle in a sick bump. Back to the chinlock, followed by a sitout powerbomb for two. There’s chinlock #4 and Eddie is in trouble. Now Konnan hooks a right armbar. Eddie comes back and hits a brainbuster and goes up for the Frog Splash. He shoves Konnan down and hits the Splash but the Faces of Fear run in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Pretty boring match here with neither guy seeming to care much at all. The hot shot into the buckle looked GREAT but other than that there was nothing at all of note. When you have four chinlocks in a six minute match, you know things aren’t going well. Konnan could get lazy with the best of them.

Jericho, Eddie’s opponent on Sunday, makes the save.

Here are the Horsemen for a chat. Flair calls Benoit a love machine. Anderson talks about how Bischoff is the boss but they’re still the Horsemen. If Randy Anderson needs $100,000, he’s welcome to it. Mongo continues to be confused about whether or not he’s a face or heel by making fun of the Buccaneers. Debra thinks Jackie can’t walk in pumps. Benoit is ready for Sullivan on Sunday. Somehow this took seven minutes.

The Giant vs. Johnny Swinger/Top Gun

What in the world are you expecting here? Both guys are chokeslammed and pinned in less than a minute.

Giant spraypaints the words Hall and Nash on the jobbers’ bodies. Luger comes out and has a doctor’s note but Bischoff comes out to say he’s a week late. Luger protests but that gets him nowhere.

We go to another insane moment in wrestling history. Roddy Piper has locked himself in a cell on Alcatraz (In the words of Road Dogg on Are You Serious: “Which apparently you can just do”) and is staying there for a week before the match. He says that he’s been dead inside for years because of Hogan (who he calls Mr. Spandex in a visual I really didn’t need). He talks about how Hogan needs the spotlight and how he (Piper) doesn’t weak a kilt in airports. Piper is going to stay in his cell for seven days to train for Hogan. To this day, I don’t think ANYONE knows what the point of this was.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Jericho

Debra comes out to watch of course. This is a technical match which shouldn’t surprise anyone. Jericho uses his mat stuff but gets caught by a top rope cross body for two. Jericho goes up and Debra begs him not to hurt Jeff. The distraction makes him miss coming off the top so Jeff hooks the Figure Four. Mongo hits him with the case and Jericho gets the pin. Seriously, did ANYONE care about Debra?

Here’s the NWO to close things out. Hogan is here and Bischoff does the talking. Hogan brags some but Sting and Savage appear on the stage. Bischoff sucks up to Hogan some more and Hulk brags about how he put Tampa on the map. Sting and Savage come to the ring and then turn around and leave. Hogan says he was going to beat up Piper tonight but Piper locked himself in a cell so that didn’t work. He poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This show was almost too stupid to be good. Between the Alcatraz thing and the televised attempted vehicular homicide, this show can only be so good. On top of that the wrestling was pretty subpar tonight. I guess we have something interesting in the Bubba attack which I actually don’t remember the reveal of, so that’s kind of fun for a change. Pretty weak show here but things would pick up soon.

Here’s SuperBrawl if you’re interested:

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