Monday Nitro #53
Date: September 16, 1996
Location: Ashville Civic Center, Ashville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko, Tony Schiavone, Eric Bischoff

It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these. We’re done with Fall Brawl now and Sting is public enemy #1 in WCW, even though he showed up in WarGames and proved that he was innocent. The card is nothing special tonight but we do have a debut of a pretty big name which we’ll get to later on tonight. Let’s get to it.

Is there a reason why Hogan, the NWO leader and top heel for over two months now is still in the red and yellow and the first three pictures you see in the intro to a WCW show?

We open with some shots from last night with Larry and Tony talking about how it was all about Sting. At the end of the show, Liz came out to save the beaten down Savage and got her dress spraypainted.

Tony apologizes to Sting because we were supposed to know he was in Japan. Larry says if Sting is so sensitive he should get another job.

Apparently there were NWO guys at the entrance handing out papers with their logo on it.

Cruiserweight Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Juventud Guerrera

The announcers are talking about Sting as soon as the bell rings. Rey grabs a weird looking backbreaker hold and Juvy grabs a DDT. The NWO wants their own TV show now. Glacier debuts tonight. GLACIER DEBUTS TONIGHT! Well kind of as for absolutely no apparent reason his debut match was on some Sunday show instead of here. WCW never thought things through.

We’re 90 seconds in and there has been absolutely zero nothing said about this match or the guys in it. I mean that literally. They have talked about everything else. Not even saying that was almost it on a two count. At 95 seconds, we start talking about the match with Juvy whipping Rey in. They speed things up and Rey kicks his head off with a spinwheel kick.

Scratch that momentum as Juvy takes over again and goes up for a springboard dive, only to see Rey dropkick him in the stomach to the floor. Rey hits a springboard rana as we take a break. During the break, we get an NWO t-shirt ad. Back with Juvy getting two off something we didn’t see. A springboard spinwheel kick and a baseball slide send Rey to the floor and an Asai Moonsault puts him down again.

Back in a springboard 450 gets two. Well he’s no AJ Styles. Top rope rana gets two…and here’s an NWO rally instead of the match. Back in the ring (that place with that wrestling stuff), Rey counters a top rope powerbomb into a mid-air rana (SWEET) for the pin to retain. We saw that move by about 4 seconds. I can’t wait for them to mess up something like that which I’m sure they will for the sake of nothing of note at all.

Rating: B. Oh come on were you expecting something other than a fast paced and fun match with these two at a combined age of 42? The lack of talking about it got annoying but that’s to be expected. Either way, very fun match even if the crowd didn’t care about Juvy. These two would have more classics.

Mongo and Benoit say how they should have been in WarGames instead of Luger/Sting so tonight they’ll take revenge on them. Now that sounds like something a Horseman would say.

We get a video on Glacier who talks in this. His Georgia accent ruins the image. I get why I never heard him talk other than this. Well not for several years at least. He talks about going to Japan to train and being taken in by an old master who is his sensei. His mask is a tribute to gladiators or something. This goes on WAY too long, clocking in at almost two and a half minutes. The accent absolutely killed this.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ice Train

Train shoves him around a bit as I begin to think of a really bad tag team in the form of Ice Train and Glacier. They do a weird spot where it looks like they’re supposed to collide but they stop like an inch ahead of each other to eliminate all of the momentum. Weird. Page hits a top rope clothesline to take over and there’s a discus punch. Discus lariat follows it up but Page won’t cover.

The Cutter is countered and Ice gets a belly to belly to put both guys down. Train gets going with a spinebuster and powerslam for two as Teddy Long, Train’s manager, gets on the apron. Now let’s cut to the back for a shot of “fans” in NWO gear taking over the merchandise stand. While this is being shown, THE BELL RINGS AND WE HAVE A PIN.

Yes, they actually missed the end of the match to show “fans” putting caution tape around the merchandise stuff. Who won? Not mentioned. What did he win with? Not mentioned. We didn’t even cut back immediately and the stuff in the back kept going on even longer. Apparently Ice Train had a full nelson and Page grabbed Teddy Long’s towel to throw it in for a forfeit on Train’s part. We see that on a replay, but that’s beside the point. We didn’t see enough to rate it but it was fine.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the point where wrestling has officially stopped meaning anything. The match wasn’t much, but the company decided that showing people in the back (not wrestlers mind you, just “fans”) were more important. This is what the Attitude Era would become defined on over the next few years and would become the foundation of what Sports Entertainment was. We aren’t focusing on wrestling and competition anymore. We’re focusing on drama.

This kind of thing gets on my nerves. It’s one thing if there’s something of note to show, but this is saying to the wrestlers “Yeah, we know you’ve trained for years to do this and we know you’re working hard out there, but we have something more important than you to put on screen.”

If this was Hall and Nash beating people up or something, that’s one thing but that isn’t what’s happening here. It’s fans taking over a merchandise stand and it’s the second match this has happened in. Is there ANY reason this couldn’t have waited another two minutes? No, there isn’t and everyone in WCW is cool with that, which is why people stopped watching (in part): it stopped being about wrestling. This will become huge later on when we eventually hit the late 90s.

Anyway the fans take over the stand and put up NWO stuff.

Sean Waltman, formerly known as the 1-2-3 Kid, is in the front row and his release from WWF is acknowledged.

Konnan vs. Super Calo

Konnan is sent to the floor so Calo hits a flip dive (mostly) to take him out. Tony invites Mike Tenay to sit on his lap. Ok then. Back in Konnan hooks a top rope butterfly superplex before hooking a backbreaker kind of hold for a bit. We go back to the floor and Calo tries another spinning dive but leaves it short again, more or less slapping Konnan instead of landing on him.

Konnan takes over again and drops Calo with the Scorpion Death Drop. Here’s something you don’t see something every day: Calo hooks a headscissors/ankle rana off the top and Konnan lands on him. This is a really sloppy match. A missile dropkick to the floor mostly misses as does a regular one in the corner. Konnan drops him with what would later be called the 187 (fisherman’s brainbuster) for two and a powerbomb into a victory roll gets the same. The Power Drop (Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb) gets the pin.

Rating: F+. The plus is for the speed of the match, but there’s no excuse for a match having this many misses and mistakes out there. Calo never got over at all for the most part despite being on TV pretty often. This was a horrible match from an execution perspective and I don’t think they knew if it was a squash or not.

The 1-2-3 Kid says he’s here because Nitro is hot. He asks Tenay who won WarGames and Tenay isn’t impressed. Waltman seems surprised the NWO won. Total “I’m in the NWO but I’m not saying I’m in the NWO” promo.

Hugh Morrus vs. Brad Armstrong

Nothing of note in the first minute. I have no idea why this match is happening. Armstrong takes over with a dropkick and we talk about Liz last night. Larry thinks Flair went through her alimony from Savage and dumped her. Tony: “How do you know how much she had?” Larry: “No matter how much she had, Flair could spend it.” Preach it brother! Morrus takes over and hits No Laughing Matter (moonsault) but makes a very casual cover, allowing Armstrong to quickly roll him up and steal a pin.

Rating: D+. What in the world was this? I really don’t get this: it’s the most random wrestling match and ending I’ve ever seen. It looked like a squash but we get that ending? It didn’t go anywhere or anything, so what was the point here? It wasn’t bad or anything, but why did it happen? I don’t understand this at all.

Hour #2 begins.

Here’s Savage for an interview. We get some shots of last night where the NWO beat Savage down and left him laying. Savage says he’s ready for Hogan and that’s all he’s got left.

The NWO arrives, including the fake Sting. They’re going to beat up someone tonight.

Randy Savage vs. Scott Norton

This starts in the aisle with Savage being all crazy again. A knee to the back puts Norton back on the floor and it’s Crazy Macho again. There’s the double axe off the top to the floor and we talk about the NWO wanting to beat him to death next week because there’s going to be no WCW guys around as they’ll be in Japan. Eric talks about how Sting was in Japan promoting the tour that he (Eric) set up but he didn’t realize it was the impostor last week. That’s either foreshadowing or really stupid.

Norton takes over with power and it’s the traditional Randy Savage beating. That’s more or less one third of what he did around this time: get beaten up, get disqualified, or hit one move, a slam and the elbow to end it. Savage takes over and we go to the floor with Norton getting sent into the barricade a few times. Norton gets slammed on the floor but grabs a DDT for two back in the ring. There’s the shoulderbreaker and Macho goes to the floor. He avoids being sent into the post and then WHACKS Norton with the chair for the DQ.

Rating: C. Pretty fun brawl while it lasted and it accomplished the goal that it needed to get through: making Savage look like a crazy lunatic that could kill Hogan if given the chance. They managed to kill the heat on the match because we needed to have Hogan vs. Piper for some reason. Anyway though, this was more fun than I expected.

Glacier vs. Big Bubba

Let’s get this over with. Glacier has his infamous overblown intro which cost thousands of dollars per time I believe. Bubba doesn’t get an entrance and it’s snowing in the arena. They have the blue lights ala Sin Cara/early Kane matches too. Glacier fights like a Power Ranger. Bubba finally gets in a punch and a big spinebuster but Glacier pops up and fires off a bunch of kicks because that’s all he knows how to do. A big spin kick ends this. More or less just an exhibition by Glacier.

Sting (the real one) is here and Eric says this wasn’t expected. This is a very famous moment. He wants to explain last week. Last Monday, he was on a plane coming back from Los Angeles. Important note to this: his back is to the camera and he won’t turn around. He talks about how Luger hasn’t come to see him and he’s tired of all the doubt. The fans are kind of booing him here.

That brings us to Fall Brawl where he was going to tell Lex to his face. Luger didn’t believe him there either. After everything he’s done, how dare no one believe him after everything Lex has done over the last year. That’s a really good point. He’ll stand by all the wrestlers and fans that stood behind the Stinger, but as for everyone that doubted him, you all can stick it. From now on, he’s a free agent. He’s going to pop in when you least expect him. With that, he walks out of the ring and leaves. That’s the last time he would speak on camera for about 16 months.

Ric Flair/Arn Anderson vs. Chris Jericho/Marcus Bagwell

Think this is going to get any attention from the announcers? Before the Horsemen come out we cut to the back where Liz is too scared to come to the ring with them. Before the match starts, Waltman stands up in his chair and holds up a box with a button on it. He presses a button and a ton of leaflets fall from the ceiling with NWO on it. Bischoff says Waltman is the 6th one (Hogan, Hall, Nash, DiBiase, Giant, Fake Sting makes six without him but I guess math is too hard for WCW).

After a break the papers are still falling. We at least get a bell. Arn vs. Jericho gets us going. The Canadian takes over with a dropkick for two to start as we’ll be lucky to hear 5 words about the match. Spinwheel kick puts Arn onto the floor as the papers keep following. Eric admits that he’s the Executive Vice President of WCW and admits he agreed to give the NWO their own TV show if they won last night or they wouldn’t fight. That would wind up being a segment on Saturday Night that was done for comedy.

Flair comes in to chop away at Bagwell but Buff (not yet Buff but who cares) fires back and it’s about what you would expect. The Horsemen double team a bit as there is zero heat on this match. Flair is crawling around on all fours outside and is mad about the papers. I’d be mad too if the fans kept throwing the papers at me. Anderson gets a spinebuster on Jericho for no cover. Tenay starts questioning Eric’s decision and it’s covered up well by Bischoff. It’s interesting to look for the hints to the swerves that would come.

Jericho gets beaten down by both guys and Heenan enjoys it way too much. As the Canadian gets his leg worked on Horsemen-style, we cut to the back where Giant is arriving and Waltman is with them with a small boom box. At least it’s split screen so we can see the match, as boring as it is. And there goes the splitting. They play a tape of “Sting” running his mouth about not trusting anyone. After about a minute of that, back to your regularly scheduled match.

Hot tag brings in Bagwell and he’s still Marcus so no one cares. They tried forever to get people to care about him and it didn’t work ever with him as a face. Woman interferes to allow Anderson to knock Bagwell out dead with a DDT. The Figure Four goes on and Bagwell gets beaten by the rare pin in the submission.

Rating: D. Not an entertaining match at all. It was ok but with all of the distractions going on in it, there’s only so much you can get out of it. The papers and then cutting away from it for about a minute took way too much out of it. To be fair to the bad ideas though, the match wasn’t going to be interesting no matter what they tried with it.

Buy this Horsemen t-shirt for $22! This is back in the days of $30 PPVs. That would be the equivalent of about a $35 t-shirt today.

Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael vs. Lex Luger

No Sting for Luger to tag with. Benoit start with Luger and I guess they’re still going with the idea of the other Horsemen being upset about not being in WarGames. There’s the snap suplex. You know for a guy that went through WarGames last night and passed out from the pain of a double submission, Luger looks pretty good. Mongo comes in for his usual boring stuff.

A forearm/elbow gets two for Benoit. We’re told that more or less EVERYONE ON THE ROSTER other than Savage is going to be in Japan next week. Heenan: “QUIT TELLING EVERYONE THAT!” Listen to Brain. He knows his stuff it seems. A double clothesline puts both Benoit and Luger down as we’re waiting on the screwy finish. Luger makes his comeback and Racks Benoit but here are Flair and Anderson for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Another weak match here but it was around to set up what the lack of Sting means for Luger and for just the big beatdown post match. Not a horrible match again, but at the same time they were really just wasting time here until the ending and everyone knew it, which is one of the most boring kind of matches you can have.

During the beatdown, Eric gives us the word that Waltman is officially to be called Syxx.

Outside the NWO is watching Nitro in a limo. They hear that no one will be here but Savage next week, so they’ll beat him up. Thanks Eric.

Overall Rating: C-. The wrestling was terribly boring here but they have like six weeks before Halloween Havoc so they have plenty of time left. Not the worst show ever but it was really more about transitioning things, including the start of the REALLY big part of the NWO angle, which is saying a lot. Sting’s speech is huge and the rest is just there.

 

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Monday Night Raw
Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Well as you know there’s usually a reason as to why I do these random Raws and in this case this is the first ever WWE Draft. Tonight we split the roster in two to have Raw and Smackdown as independent (yeah right) shows with different owners (Flair on Raw, Vince on Smackdown) in the system we’re used to now. This was also 8 days after Mania so we’re still kind of transitioning to the new year. Let’s get to it.

Linda introduces us to the concept of the Draft where tonight we’re only going to have twenty picks, as in ten each. There’s a world title match tonight with HHH vs. Jericho vs. Stephanie so none of them can be drafted. Also Austin is undraftable uh…..because he’s bald. That’s as good an explanation as any (the official reason is he had it in his contract. How was that contract written? “In the event that the roster becomes too big to sustain one roster and must be split in half under a concept called the Brand Split I get to not be drafted? Imagine those negotiations. In reality he was having a contract dispute and wasn’t signed).

Taz vs. Mr. Perfect

Hennig had made a comeback here at age 44 where he still looked solid out there. He would be gone in like three months after getting very drunk on a plane. He would be dead in less than a year which is mind blowing. Hennig says he’ll be the perfect pick and sounds a bit shall we say buzzed. Jazz and whoever winds up being world champion can be on both shows apparently. Perfectplex but Taz gets the ropes. They collide in the corner and Taz grabs the Tazmission to end this QUICK. Taz says Hennig was JUST ANOTHER VICTIM. He was getting popular around this time too but his neck gave out and he had to retire.

Rating: N/A. Way too short but competitive enough. Perfect was still rather good and looked exactly like he did in his prime. Shame his personal life was more or less a disaster because he could have been used as a solid midcard guy.

The owners are both in their war rooms going over their plans. Vince has the first pick.

After a break we’re ready for said pick. We get a brief speech and the #1 overall pick is The Rock. Can’t say that’s a bad way to go. Hard to believe he more or less had a year left. Rock comes out and Vince runs down a bunch of stuff Rock can’t do anymore, namely catchphrases he can’t say. Rock stops him from leaving and proceeds to make fun of Vince, leading the crowd in a huge anti-Vince chant. He’s just absolutely awesome here. This was rather funny. Rock does one last IF YA SMELL since it’s his last night on Raw which is a nice touch.

We’re back and it’s time for Flair’s first pick. With nothing special to say, he picks the Undertaker who was in a big feud with Flair around this time. Wow it’s weird to think about Taker being on Raw. He throws some stuff and we get a nice little graphic with Taker’s stats on it. Rock got the same.

Vince is furious and Angle comes in to complain. Taker does the same and threatens Vince. It’s very weird to think that Taker started on Raw but he would be on Smackdown in about 4 months and has been there since.

Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booker T/Christian

These were both singles matches at Mania where both faces won. Edge was getting very hot very fast at this point and probably would have been world champion within a year had he not gotten hurt. Christian has the awesome entrance here with the high pitched singers saying AT LAST YOU ARE ON YOU OWN! I love that. It comes complete with Alberto’s current pyro. Christian cost DDP the European Title recently as well. Oh and Angle cost Edge a match vs. Booker.

The Draft Lottery is plugged even though most of the picks meant nothing. Edge and Booker start us off. This is another very short match where the Canadians go to the floor and DDP gets a Diamond Cutter on Booker. Christian with a save and Edge misses a spin kick by a mile but Christian doesn’t sell much of it, which I think was intentional. Axe Kick kills DDP for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This was another very short one although it was better than the first match. Nothing all that bad in here but when a match barely breaks two minutes it’s kind of hard to say if it was good or not. With such little time how can they get anything going at all? This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t very good either.

Angle lists off a ton of his accomplishments to Vince in an attempt to be the #2 pick which is rather funny. Vince wants the NWO though, which apparently is drafted as a unit. Vince takes Angle as the second pick after some nice psychology from Angle, but Kurt ticked about not being #1.

Flair immediately hits the stage and says he’ll do everything he can do to get Austin on Raw, which he would do. Flair takes the entire NWO (Hall, Nash and X-Pac) in a surprise. Vince is FURIOUS but vows to get Austin. Angle talks to him a bit and Vince takes Benoit who was still out injured. Oddly enough when he came back he started on Raw before moving over to Smackdown.

The NWO yells at Flair. Pac, who has been there since Thursday (literally) is now their mouthpiece. Hall says you don’t blow us off so Flair makes his #3 pick, who is designed to look after the NWO: Kane. Ok then. In other words on Smackdown we have Rock, Angle and Benoit. On Raw we have Nash (injured), Hall (fat), Waltman (overrated), Taker (AWFUL at this point) and Kane (you know the drill here). Which show would you rather watch?

Trish Stratus vs. Ivory

Ivory is back and this is some kind of a small grudge. Yeah there’s nothing to talk about here. Trish wins in about two minutes with Stratusfaction. No rating either. Totally worthless.

Vince comes out again and gets the chant Rock invented earlier. He takes Hogan, who is incorrectly listed as a 7 time WCW Champion. Ah apparently they’re including the Bash at the Beach title here. Vince doing Hogan’s air guitar is rather funny.

After a break, Flair comes out to take RVD who brings the IC Title with him.

Vince is mad about losing the IC Title so Angle suggests a match between him and RVD for the title tonight so Angle can bring it Smackdown.

Rock is walking around backstage and Hogan comes up to him. The bald one suggests a handicap match vs. the NWO. Well what kind of a huge face would Rock be if he said no?

Vince is here to make his next pick (5th overall if you’re keeping track) and he picks Billy and Chuck who are the tag champions.

Tough Enough 2 commercial. I had my first kiss while that show was going on in the background.

Somehow the boot of the week is a chair shot. No one accused WWE of making sense all the time.

NWO vs. Hulk Hogan/The Rock

This is Nash’s first match in the company I think since his return. Ah scratch that as I’m wrong actually. It was one of his first though. Hogan and X-Pac start us off here which is a RIVETING match indeed. And Hogan throws him to the floor immediately in a nice power display. Hall comes in and fails also so we switch to Nash. Amazingly all Hogan seems to do is punch.

Hot tag to the Rock and we CRANK it up. We shift from an 80s style to a 90s style and it’s much more interesting. Cold tag to Hogan and the crowd just dies. Pac makes the save as it’s all breaking down. He breaks out the knunchucks and here comes Kane since he’s the guy taking care of the NWO and he clears house, giving the NWO the win.

Rating: D. Weak match but Rock was interesting. This wasn’t much at all and with five minutes how big of a match can it be? This is the last match on Raw for Hogan and Rock? This is the best they can do? That’s hardly a good sign. This was really rather weak all things considered.

Vince comes into Flair’s office to yell about various things. Flair takes Booker. Vince takes Edge. Flair takes Big Show. Vince takes Rikishi. They’re going that fast. So in other words: Nash, Hall, Waltman, Taker, Kane and Big Show vs. Benoit, Rock, Angle and Edge. Who do you think wins in the long run here? Keep in mind that the NWO guys would all be gone in the second week of July, this is looking one sided to say the least. Come to think of it, a year after this Rock and Edge were gone too. Help is on the way however, as between now and August WWE would debut guys named Lesnar, Orton, Cena, Batista and Mysterio. Like I said, this was a transitional period for the company. Oh and Shawn came back in the fall too.

Jeff Hardy vs. Billy Gunn

This is during the gay era for Billy and Chuck, culminating in a mind blowing ending when they were about to be married but the minister was Eric Bischoff with a prosthetic face on, pretending to be a senior citizen aged preacher. It legitimately got me. Another two minute match but Jeff getting a singles run was a new idea back then. Matt and Chuck fighting on the floor cause Jeff to miss the Swanton. Lita TOTALLY botches a rana on Rico but Jeff gets the pin on Billy anyway.

Rating: N/A. I’m really getting tired of these short matches. That botch was a sight though. Her legs didn’t even get close to around his head. Moving on.

Flair picks Bubba Ray Dudley so Vince takes D-Von. They actually were going to try to make Bubba a serious challenger, even giving him a world title shot on Raw and giving it time. D-Von became a preacher with a deacon named Batista. I think the latter was a bit more famous.

European Title: Rikishi vs. William Regal

As Regal is coming to the ring, some HUGE muscle guy comes in and beats the living tar out of Rikishi, hitting a spinebuster and a SICK fireman’s carry spinout facebuster. You may know the move as the F5 and the guy as the current UFC World Heavyweight Champion: Brock Lesnar. I told you this was a transitional period. No match obviously.

Jazz is a witch in New York.

Vince tries to get Brock but it’s not his pick so Flair takes him. Great to see that D-Von pick working for Vince. Vince takes Mark Henry. I actually laugh when I think of the comparison between those two. Flair takes the European William Regal so Vince takes Maven, the Hardcore Champion. Flair takes Lita. Those are the last two picks. Let’s stop for a minute here and go pick for pick and look at these selections with Vince’s coming first.

#1: Rock vs. Undertaker. That’s a tossup I guess as Rock was bigger at the time but Taker is better long term.
#2: Kurt Angle vs. NWO. Do I even need to make fun of this one?
#3: Chris Benoit vs. Kane. Vince wins this based on in ring work alone.
#4: Hulk Hogan vs. Rob Van Dam. Have to go Vince here again as RVD was never really that important in WWE. Close one though given the money Hogan probably commanded.
#5: Billy and Chuck vs. Booker T. Comedy team vs. future world champion. Hmm I wonder.
#6: Edge vs. Big Show. Vince gets another one.
#7: Rikishi vs. Bubba Ray Dudley. Everyone loses.
#8: D-Von Dudley vs. Brock Lesnar. Actually you could make a case for Vince winning here as like I said Batista debuted shortly after this as D-Von’s enforcer. On paper though it’s really Flair in a landslide as Brock was a once in a lifetime find.
#9: Mark Henry vs. William Regal. Flair wins again.
#10: Maven vs. Lita. Eyebrows Huffman vs. a great rack. Flair finishes strong.

Vince has the better core and I think wins pretty easily here, especially since Brock was on Smackdown within 8 months. Also Raw wound up being boring as HECK soon after this.

Vince makes fun of Flair picking Lita because it’s going to be awful and a cesspool.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

Angle grabs a German immediately. Dang Angle was good back then. RVD makes a short comeback to some very solid cheers. He sets for the Five Star but Angle hits the floor. And then Angle pulls the referee in front of the dropkick for the DQ. Edge comes down for the save.

Rating: N/A. Dude we can’t have these two get TV time? Are you kidding me? Where is the time going in this show considering how fast they’re making picks?

Stephanie says she’s going to win the title.

Undisputed Title: Stephanie McMahon vs. HHH vs. Chris Jericho

This is a triple threat and if Stephanie is pinned she’s out of the company. Jericho sends HHH to the floor and Stephanie lays down for Jericho but HHH makes the save. HHH won the title 8 days before this mind you. Totally boring match as the two wrestlers have to be on pins and needles so Stephanie doesn’t get exposed as being NOT A WRESTLER.

Stephanie slaps Jericho for some reason and they argue. Jericho goes for the Walls as this match needs to end. We know HHH isn’t losing so quit teasing us about it. HHH knocks Jericho down and stalks Stephanie. Pedigree is set up but Jericho hits a dropkick to stop it. Jericho grabs a title and a chair and through some odd stuff both HHH and Jericho get belt shots. Stephanie comes in and covers Jericho for two. She does this weird thing of lifting her leg on covers.

HHH gets caught in the Walls but Stephanie jumps on Jericho’s back. Pedigree gets two on Jericho and Stephanie makes the save. Spinebuster ends her and she’s gone….for four months until she became Smackdown’s GM. Security literally drags her away.

Rating: D-. Just horrible stuff here as HHH and Jericho more or less did nothing while this was about Stephanie all over again. What a shock right? She was the focus of just about everything for a good while and this would only get worse in 03/04 when Smackdown was ALL about her and Vince and their stupid feud for power. This was a glorified house show main event though and was really quite stupid.

Overall Rating: D-. Just a bad show overall with the main event being the only thing to break 8 minutes. The picks are odd at best and stupid at worst with nothing really making that much sense at all. This was a bad show and the whole thing would just get worse as the year went on with Raw becoming the HHH show and no one really paying attention to how awesome Smackdown was. Oh and Shawn would come back and be instantly pushed to the top of the roster because he’s Shawn and a 4 year layoff is easy to come back from right? Bad show but huge for historical purposes.

 

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What are some matches you don’t hear people talk about that you’re a fan of?

 

One of the matches I remember liking is the main event of Uncensored 97.  it’s a three team 12 man tag with Team Piper vs. Team WCW vs. Team NWO with a stipluation if each of them wins.  The whole thing actually works and there’s nothing to it that is too far over the top that it gets ridiculous.  The post match appearance by Sting and confirming that he’s WCW is awesome stuff too.

 

Your picks?

Uncensored 1997
Date: March 16, 1997
Location: North Charleston Coliseum, North Charleston, South Carolina
Attendance: 9,285
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan

This show is known for two reasons: the main event and what happens after the main event. This show is kind of a mixed bag as far as continuations of old stuff and new stuff being added. The card looks interesting at least, including one of the most tricked out main events you’ll ever find which will take a few paragraphs to recap alone before we even get to the twenty minutes it runs. Let’s get to it.

The opening video runs down the card which more or less says that there are all gimmick matches tonight.

Dennis Rodman is here tonight and we run down the stipulations for the main event tonight which is one of the most complicated matches you’ll ever see. Ok might as well get it out of the way now.

I’ll spare the rules for later but the stipulations are that if Team WCW (Giant, Luger, Steiners) wins, the NWO lost all of its titles and all of the NWO couldn’t wrestle for three years. That’s just comical. If Team Piper (Piper, Benoit, Mongo and Jarrett, with the Horsemen replacing two real fighters and John Tenta in a HUGE mess of an angle) wins Piper gets Hogan in a cage eventually and if Team NWO (Hogan, Hall, Nash, Savage) wins they get a title shot they get to pick whenever they say so.

NOW we get to the show.

US Title: Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

This is due to Eddie costing Dean the Cruiserweight Title last month. Think this one will be awesome? Fast paced stuff to start as Dean hits a shoulder to send Eddie to the floor. Dean stomps a mudhole (Dusty’s word) into Eddie and adds a suplex so he can yell at Eddie a bit. Dean is all ticked off here and it’s kind of awesome. This is no DQ apparently. Eddie gets all aggressive too and is loudly booed, I guess making him the heel here.

Dean locks on a half crab as we cut to the back to see the NWO standing over an unconscious Rick Steiner. At least we didn’t miss anything as Dean has the hold on still. He shifts it back into almost a half Liontamer as we confirm it was Rick. Dean throws him over the top which isn’t a DQ here as we change the rules again. Despite Eddie being the default heel here, Dean grabs the belt for a shot with it and is booed as well.

Rock Bottom out of nowhere takes Dean down as does a dropkick to the knee. Eddie works over the knee with a shot from the top and a hilo down onto it. We hit the leg lock as Eddie controls some more. STF now as Rick is taken out on a stretcher and into an ambulance. The NWO stands behind him and pretends to care in a nice jerk moment. Out to the floor as Dean is in real trouble.

Figure Four goes on and Eddie actually grabs the ropes. I guess this is around the time he turned heel. Dean tries to speed things up a bit and fails completely. Hilo misses but a baseball slide sends Dean into the railing. Eddie tries a HUGE dive but gets sent into the railing chest first.

They chop it out and Eddie gets a backbreaker and powerbomb for two each. They speed it up and do some technical stuff so Dean kicks him low for two. Nice guy that Dean. Powerslam by Dean for two and he hits Eddie with a Frog Splash but pulls Eddie up in a rather stupid move. More technical and speed stuff results in a German to Eddie for two.

Tornado DDT puts Dean down as this is a very back and forth match. Eddie tries to pay Dean back with the Texas Cloverleaf and there it is. Here comes Syxx with his camera because one NWO instance during the match wasn’t enough I guess. He tries to steal the belt so Eddie goes after him. Dean gets the camera, the camera goes upside Eddie’s head and Dean is US Champion.

Rating: B+. Great match until the ending which makes the whole thing about Syxx instead of the great match which is another example of what was wrong with WCW: there was no payoff to the 20 minutes of wrestling because the NWO becomes the focus of things again. Oh well. Eddie vs. Dean for twenty minutes is hard to complain about and this was no exception as far as great matches go.

Piper rants about the main event and saying he shouldn’t have to do that to get a cage match with Hogan. Apparently Rodman wanted to try on the kilt with Piper still in it. Piper is either insane or coked out of his mind. You figure out which. The Horsemen pop up and they all say they’re awesome while Piper makes gay jokes about Rodman.

Psychosis vs. Ultimo Dragon

Dragon is awesome and heel here while Psychosis is still masked and no slouch in his own right. Just a random match here with no feud that I can think of or title mentioned at all. The graphic of course says Ultimate Dragon because WCW doesn’t have much intelligence. Tenay sits in on commentary for this thank goodness. STF by Dragon doesn’t last long as this is all technical stuff of course.

Ton of technical stuff (standard with Crusierweights) results in a standoff as we hear that they’ve never fought before. Tenay is so much better as an expert it’s unreal. Dragon fires off his kicks and it’s off to a leg lock. That lasts a few seconds and Psychosis gets a dropkick for two. There’s Dragon’s headstand in the corner which is always cool to see.

Enziguri sets up a camel clutch by Dragon to slow things down a bit. That gets reversed into one by the psycho dude. Guillotine leg drop mostly hits but I guess that wasn’t his finisher yet I guess so Dragon kicks out at two. We get some weird references to Dusty training in Mexico which sounds like an inside joke of some sort. No gimmick to this match I don’t think.

We hear the story about Dragon being the last protégé of Bruce Lee, which would mean he was a protégé before he turned seven years old. I know he’s good but that’s a stretch even for WCW. Belly to back puts both guys down. Something like a Whisper in the Wind sends Dragon to the floor so Psychosis can hit a bit dive over the top to the floor. Dragon hits a Tajiri elbow on the floor and his namesake Asai moonsault to kill Psychosis again.

Sonny adds in a kick on the floor and Dragon hits a Lionsault for two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets two for Psychosis and La Magistrol gets two for Dragon. Let’s talk about the NWO a bit as it’s super rana time. We get what was either a goardbuster or a botched superplex off the top depending on who you think was in control. Psychosis gets a top rope rana for two and Dragon gets a Liger Bomb for no cover. Tornado DDT (kind of) sets up a tiger suplex to give Dragon the pin.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the pacing was all off. There really wasn’t a buildup to an ending or a segment where they had anything set up for psychology. Not a bad match or anything but at the same time just kind of there. The lack of story or title aspect hurt it a lot as well. The last two or three minutes were rather awkward also as this needed to be about three minutes shorter.

Here’s DDP who is the hottest thing in wrestling at this point so of course he isn’t on the card. His feud with Savage was just starting which is the one that more or less made him a legit guy in the ring and not just with the fans. Gene asks if Page is going to be subbing for Rick, but that would make far too much sense in WCW so we’re not going to do that. Instead Page challenges Savage again.

Savage and Liz pop up near the announce booth and Savage says he respects Page because his wife is in Playboy. Always thought it was Penthouse. I don’t think it had been revealed that Kimberly was Page’s wife yet so this was pretty shocking stuff. The good stuff is spraypainted of course and here’s Kimberly, also covered in paint. Savage jumps Page and there’s some paint for him as well. They would feud for nearly a year over this.

Glacier vs. Mortis

Martial arts match here. Mortis is more commonly known as Kanyon and has James Vanderberg (Mitchell) with him. It’s Mortis’ debut. Mortis, the guy in skull-based attire, shouts with a New York accent, completely destroying his mystique quickly. Glacier yells about getting kicked in the ear as this is a wrestling match rather than a martial arts match.

Glacier kicks Mortis. A lot. Vanderberg pulls Glacier off of him which isn’t a DQ somehow. Mortis uses his legit innovative offense such as a Fameasser for two. A second attempt is countered into a powerbomb and both guys are down. Vanderberg shouts to Mortis to REMEMBER TAIPEI which was never explained of course. More kicks by Glacier and both guys are down.

Mortis gets crotched on the top and a superplex gets two. Northern lights suplex with a cradle gets two for Mortis as this referee is annoyingly slow by comparison to the guys in the ring. Mortis pulls the referee in front of Glacier’s superkick finisher and gets one of his own for two. Vanderberg gets on the apron and the distraction totally fails, allowing Glacier to hit the aforementioned kick for the pin.

Rating: C. This was definitely the best match they had in their seemingly never ending series. Pretty decent match here as they moved rather quickly in there. The overacting and the lack of anything definitive as far as the story went got really old eventually. Not terrible though and the pacing was good.

Post match Wrath debuts and beats up Glacier.

We see the video of the Outsiders running the Steiners off the road and wrecking their car. You know, because attempted vehicular homicide airing on national television is all cool right?

Buff Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs

Strap match of the four corner variety here. Bagwell says he doesn’t care if he loses this match on the way to the ring. Fine example of the stuff that’s wrong with WCW right there. Riggs whips him a few times but Bagwell hits the floor as the strap isn’t hooked up yet. Bagwell gets crotched and whipped a lot. Riggs slides between Buff’s legs and the balls are abused again. Somehow that all took nearly five minutes.

Bagwell takes over and mugs/talks to the camera a lot. He literally stops for about 15 seconds to talk at times. Dude, get on with the boring match already! This is one of those terrible matches where nothing at all of note is going on as Buff is clearly going to win and no one cares in the slightest. Buff again says he doesn’t care who wins this.

Dusty says this is brutal. Yeah it is but I don’t think it’s in the same way that Dusty means. Bagwell makes him do the American Males Clap and it’s as stupid as it sounds. They keep talking about a bag of cement as some kind of a joke which isn’t funny in the slightest. This is killing the crowd too. The referee shoves Bagwell down in a comedy spot that isn’t funny. Blockbuster doesn’t work so Riggs whips Bagwell a bit. Powerbomb puts Buff down as does a missile dropkick. Riggs gets three buckles and that more or less ends his offense. Bagwell hangs him and the four corners end this.

Rating: F+. First of all, this was terribly, and I do mean terribly boring. Second, what in the world was the point in this being a strap match? There was no way that Riggs was winning this and everyone knew it. The solution? Give them thirteen minutes to prove that Bagwell was going to win. Weak match and that’s putting it very mildly.

The NWO looks at the Playboy and guarantee victory. Rodman is talked about incessantly.

Public Enemy vs. Harlem Heat

This is for the #1 contender spot which meant nothing because it’s not like the Outsiders ever wrestled. Oh and this is Texas Tornado rules. In essence this is a street fight and the weapons are in as soon as the bell rings. This is one of those brawls where they’re going to beat on each other for a good while until they get tired and then it drags for awhile until we get to the ending.

The white guys beat up Stevie until Booker makes the save. Booker actually gets two on Grunge. Extension cord comes in and Rock accidentally hits Grunge. Various comedy weapons are brought in and this is going nowhere for the most part. Dusty laughs a lot at stuff that really isn’t funny. The guy enjoyed his work to be sure.

There’s a toilet seat in there which is the main focus of the “comedy” here. The announcers don’t pay a bit of attention here as you would expect. Sherri helps a bit and Dusty loses whatever he had left. More weapon shots and choking follow as it occurs to me that Sherri and Public Enemy are all dead. That’s a rather saddening thought. Dusty freaks over a pizza pan being brought in.

Grunge gets crotched as we hit the slow down period. We get a shot of Sherri hitting Rock so we shift to a camera view where we can’t see anything but the ring because I guess a woman hitting a man hurts the southern mentality or whatever. There was a low blow in there somewhere and Dusty cracks up over it.

There’s a purse brought in with some form of electronics in it. Rocket Launcher gets two on Grunge. Sherri gets rammed into the railing and Booker goes through a table. Here are Mongo and Jarrett for no apparent reason. Ah apparently Heat is replacing them. Briefcase to Grunge sets up the Harlem Hangover to end this after FAR too long.

Rating: D+. This was your standard wild brawl that wasn’t really wild and wasn’t anything resembling good but it’s not terrible for a toss your brain out and let them destroy each other fight. It definitely got far too tedious more than once but these can be entertaining if they don’t go too long. This went too long but was still kind of entertaining so points for that I suppose.

Gene talks to Team WCW and explains the rules again, this time saying that the NWO would have full power, not just having the right to challenge for a title. Scott says he has more incentive now, Giant says it’s time for spring cleaning and that his team is awesome. Lex plays up the whole social clash/honor etc which Austin vs. Hart were doing far better at the time.

TV Title: Prince Iaukea vs. Rey Mysterio

This is a rematch from last month. Rey takes over to start and hits a front flip off a springboard for two. This is an extended fifteen minute time limit instead of the usual ten. The same move as he hit off the springboard hits over the top and it’s all Rey so far. The announcers talk about how Rey and Dean are moving up the ladder and it’s so funny to think that’s going to mean anything in the long run.

Prince hits a springboard dive and based on the crowd you would have thought that he ran his hand through his hair. Back in the ring Rey gets a middle rope bulldog for two. The fans flat out do not care. Quebrada (Mike said it, not me) gets two for Rey. Sunset flip off the middle rope gets the same. Rey tries to get the crowd into it and it doesn’t work in the slightest.

A senton (backsplash, not bomb) misses and Prince takes over with his, ahem, REALLY FREAKING BORING offense. The problem with him is rather obvious quickly: there is absolutely nothing unique about him in the slightest. He’s Samoan, average size, average weight, no special moves or anything at all like that. And yet somehow he’s TV Champion. Iaukea can’t get a springboard cross body as Rey counters with a dropkick. The Prince accidentally low blows Rey as things somehow get even slower.

They both try dropkicks and are both down again. Rey gets a headscissors for the first interesting move in far too long. Whisper in the Wind takes Prince down and the clock runs out after about 12 minutes. Rey wants to keep going, Prince says you’re on and here we go. No mention of how long this is as Heenan isn’t sure either. Rey gets a springboard enziguri and drops the dime for two. West Coast Pop is set up but Prince rolls through into a sunset flip to retain. So uh….the point to the extra time was what exactly?

Rating: D. Rey was great at this point but he wasn’t a miracle worker. Whoever thought Prince was worth anything was pretty freaking stupid to say the least. He would FINALLY lose the title about a month later to Regal and then would go away for a good while until coming back as the Artist and win the Cruiserweight Title when no one cared again.

Ad for the NEW show, Spring Stampede. By new they mean not since 1994 when they had the first one. Horsemen are featured in a cowboy thing which is kind of a cool idea.

Team WCW vs. Team NWO vs. Team Piper

WCW: Giant, Lex Luger, Scott Steiner
NWO: Hall, Nash, Hogan, Savage
Piper: Piper, McMichael, Jarrett, Benoit

This is kind of like a cross between WarGames and a battle royal. You have three guys start and go five minutes. Then after two minutes we get another man from each team (Team WCW will miss an entry due to Rick going on and they weren’t smart enough to have Page fill in). It’s elimination style, which means we don’t have to deal with 11 guys in the ring at once. You can put someone out via pin, submission, knockout and over the top.

If Team WCW wins, the NWO is stripped of all titles and can’t wrestle for 3 years. If Team Piper wins, Piper gets Hogan in a cage at a time to be announced. If Team NWO wins, they more or less have carte blanche (Previously they would have gotten a title shot anywhere anytime, kind of like Money in the Bank). They change that back to the MITB thing but it would ultimately be the free reign thing.

Benoit, Hall and Giant start us off. They’re not at ringside which is kind of stupid as you would be able to jump them as they come out in theory no? Benoit jumps Hall before Giant gets there. Not that we can see that as we need to see Giant’s very slow walk to the ring instead. Giant gets in very slowly which is rather smart before taking them both down with a clothesline.

Benoit tries to chop away and it doesn’t work at all. It’s almost hard to believe that Benoit would be world champion before Hall. Basically this is Giant and two other guys in there as he keeps dominating the entire time. Elbow drop on Hall so Benoit tries to jump Giant. No real attempts to throw anyone out but since you can win by pinfall that’s ok.

Sleeper doesn’t work for Hall and Giant gets a huge chokeslam to Benoit for only two. Hall saves, I guess out of fear of fighting Giant one on one. Giant busts out the claw of all things but a corner splash misses and Giant is gone first! That leaves two guys for Team WCW. The clock runs out on the first period and it’s Jarrett, Randy Savage and Luger. That puts five guys in the ring at the moment if you’re keeping score.

It’s more or less a battle royal at this point as Luger can’t gorilla press Savage out. Jeff avoids a Razor’s Edge and here come Mongo, Nash and Scott Steiner. No real effort to put anyone out right now as everyone is really just beating on each other. Belly to belly puts Nash down as we only have Hogan and Piper left. Nash gets a big boot and clothesline to Jarrett and he’s out. Jeff that is. Mongo gets backdropped out so Team Piper has just Benoit and Piper left.

Here are Hogan and Piper so everyone is out there now. Nash gets a big boot to Steiner to knock him out so Luger is all that’s left for WCW, Piper and Benoit for Piper and all of the NWO is left. Wait where’s Hogan? What a shock he’s going to come out last isn’t he? Oh there he is with Dennis Rodman. Piper is on the floor but not out. Scratch that as he’s back now. Seven people in at the moment.

Hogan, Piper and Savage are on the floor with Hogan kind of chilling and Piper choking Savage. The Outsiders beat up Benoit and everyone is finally in there at the same time. Hogan throws Piper through the ropes and they brawl on the floor a bit. After Savage jumps them in the aisle everyone goes back to the ring. In a HORRIBLY stupid looking moment, Piper is sent into the ropes but Rodman pulls it down to put him out. This would have looked passable if Piper didn’t JUMP OVER THE ROPE BEFORE IT WAS PULLED DOWN. And people wonder why they went out of business.

They keep brawling on the floor anyway and Savage helps as it’s the Outsider Edge for Benoit. The tag champs toss him out and Team Piper is gone. Luger is the only one left for WCW and he’s against technically five guys counting Rodman. The NWO literally stands around for a minute and a half posing before Nash sets him up for a powerbomb.

Luger escapes and racks Savage, clotheslines Nash and racks Hall to eliminate all three in under thirty seconds. And never mind as when he goes to rack Hogan, Savage gets the spraypaint from Rodman and pops Luger in the face with it so Hogan can get the winning pin. The NWO won a big match. I’m shocked too.

Rating: B-. The match was actually pretty good as it didn’t really get stupid and for a big multi-man tag, this actually worked. I fail to see why Rick wasn’t out there but still, pretty good stuff. The ending was obvious but it doesn’t ever drag, the stuff they did made perfect sense the entire time and it was kind of interesting. Shockingly good main event.

Now it’s time for the REAL reason to watch this show as the NWO gets out of the ring and STING comes down from the ceiling. Up to this point it was unclear as to which side he was on. Sting drills the NWO with the bat and the place ERUPTS. Scorpion Death Drops all around and it’s only Hogan left. Hogan gets all fired up and Sting points the bat at him. Hogan says he’ll kill him if he puts the bat down so Sting drops it.

Here comes Hogan and he actually gets in the ring. Sting turns his back to him so he can actually get a free shot which Sting completely no sells. Hogan gets drilled and put out with the Scorpion as the fans lose their freaking minds to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Definitely not the worst show ever and by far and away the best Uncensored of all time at this point. The ending is totally awesome as we shift from the Piper vs. Hogan stuff to Hogan vs. Sting which would be the primary feud the entire year. You can really see that the non-NWO stuff isn’t given much thought at all and it’s far more on the wrestlers to do things themselves, which is fine but interesting to see. Anyway, better show than expected but it does drag at times.

Souled Out 1997
Date: January 25, 1997
Location: Five Seasons Center, Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Attendance: 5,120
Commentators: Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase

This was requested a long time ago and I never got around to doing it. This is a very different kind of show as it’s the first and more or less only official NWO PPV. And when I say NWO PPV, I mean full on. The ring is different, there’s a house band, an NWO beauty pageant, all WCW vs. NWO matches and a guy making jokes about WCW guys on their way to the ring. It’s way out there but definitely intriguing. Let’s get to it.

We open with a black and white video of a full police escort bringing people to the arena. It’s really hard to see anything and we get the old school style NWO promos. You can’t see anyone’s faces until they get into the arena. Hogan has the Dallas Cowboys with him for some reason.

The main event here is Hogan vs. Giant for the title, which makes limited sense to me as he fought Piper at the last PPV. They always had this weird concept of have Starrcade then have Souled Out as a completely different theme of show and then have Superbrawl to complete the trilogy of S-named shows.

The set is completely different looking than most shows with big lights saying New World Order and a bunch of steps. Nick Patrick is the referee for every match tonight which must be tiring.

Chris Jericho vs. Masahiro Chono

Chris is billed as “from somewhere north of the border, Chris “I should have played hockey” Jericho”. It’s the same voice that would say the-the biggest icon in wrestling in the NWO theme song. Chono was part of NWO Japan which became Team 2000 when the angle ended. The WCW guys get no theme music.

Patrick accuses Jericho of pulling hair right off the bat. Jericho is more or less nothing at this point so this should be a glorified squash for Chono. A bunch of WCW guys come out to sit in the audience, including Anderson and Harlem Heat and a bunch of others. Eric says they didn’t have to give away tickets to fill the place. Considering how bad things got in about two or three years, that’s hysterical.

Nice side Russian legsweep by Chono as the glorified squash theory is right so far. Nice plancha by Jericho to the floor as Chris is giving it a go at least. After some stuff on the floor where Jericho hurts his knee we get some knee work from Chono in the ring. Kind of boring but not bad so far. The idiot fans chant USA as Jericho hits an enziguri.

Bischoff decided jump back leg round kick is a better name than enizguri. And hey, anyone that follows tournament karate knows that right Tony? Dragon screw leg whip (dang some moves have long names) sets up the STF which doesn’t work. VERY slow count by Patrick off a German by the Canadian to the Japanese as the fans chant USA. Is that joke getting old? I can never tell.

They botch a belly to belly off the top which kills the crowd pretty badly. Chono busts out a table which is a very different thing here in 1997, especially for mainstream wrestling. Jericho reverses a suplex through it and hits a missile dropkick for two which actually was fair.

Lionsault gets two in another fair count as his knee is hurt badly here. He goes up again but gets caught by the Mafia Kick. Oddly enough that doesn’t knock him off so Chono has to shove him through the table. Another Mafia Kick in the ring kills Jericho dead for the pin.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as I expected. Wait why would I think this was bad? You have two of the best ever in there and we got a pretty good match. It was more competitive than I expected is probably a better explanation. Solid stuff here for the most part but nothing incredible.

We get a bit of the Miss NWO stuff. Some radio shot host named Jeffrey Katz is the host. Basic questions are asked, the girls are stupid, the word fellatio is used. Yeah that sums things up pretty well I’d think.

Big Bubba vs. Hugh Morrus

This is Dungeon vs. NWO as Bubba jumped so the Dungeon is after him. This is a Mexican death match despite the lack of Mexicanocity. No intro for Morrus at all. Morrus looks like Big Dick Dudley. Ok then. The whole death match aspect here is never really explained but whatever. Morrus hits a clothesline to put Bubba on the floor.

Bubba finds a chain from somewhere and whips Morrus with it. We’re told that a Mexican Death Match means anything goes. No Laughing Matter hits and of course no cover. Oh ok it’s more or less last man standing. Patrick counts as slowly as possible so Morrus gets after him.

Boss Man gets back up and does nothing but really basic punches and strikes. Morrus just blasts him with a low blow and Bubba heads out for a walk. We go to the stage where Morrus misses a moonsault, which was completely messed up anyway so they would have been on top of each other. Bubba grabs a motorcycle and runs down Morrus Rikishi style to of course end it.

Rating: D. Kind of just a brawl here with Bubba not doing much at all. Naturally this had no point and would only be on this PPV and this one alone. This went nowhere and the ending was really stupid. At least it was short. Whenever we get to that point it’s never a good sign.

The NWO chicks are still stupid. This is five minutes that nothing is coming from.

There’s an NWO website. Nice job updating it to remove the guy not in the team anymore.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Mr. Wallstreet

Oh wow this is going to be bad isn’t it? Wallstreet gets a bad rollup to start for two as Jarrett argues with Patrick. Basically it’s a handicap match with the announcers praising the FAR over the hill Wallstreet. Debra, in the audience, likes Jarrett. Jarrett goes into the audience and no one cares.

Sleeper goes on as Debra is trying to get Mongo to do something. Far too many rest holds in this as we’re on our third in like a minute and a half. Eric says the crowd is getting anxious. Ok so in the NWO language anxious means bored out of your mind and wanting to crack your freaking skull open to end the pain of this match.

This is during the Jarrett wants to be a Horseman period which went a grand total of nowhere. Anderson is kind of scouting Jarrett at this point but it’s not like he’s going to get much here. Wallstreet is just boring beyond belief. Figure four goes on and Patrick literally drags them to the ropes so Wallstreet can get the break. Wallstreet gets an abdominal stretch as Mongo jumps the guardrail and DRILLS him with his briefcase and threatens to revoke Patrick’s parking pass if he doesn’t count the pin.

Rating: F. Yeah this was awful. Rotunda (Wallstreet) was just worthless by this point and Jarrett as a face is just boring beyond all comprehension. Horrible match.

The pageant is still going! It’s just them answering questions like you would see in a beauty pageant but they’re biker chicks and not attractive and stupid.

And now we have a song. Yeah the house band does some weird metal/bad rock song where the only recognizable worlds are NEW WORLD ORDER. It’s as stupid as it sounds.

Buff Bagwell vs. Scott Riggs

Bagwell had very recently turned black and white so this is the blowoff I guess. I don’t know about you but I was begging for that American Males showdown. Bischoff talks about how Bagwell has the IT factor and is going to be a movie star according to Hogan. That’s rich. Buff channels his inner Hogan and poses so Riggs jumps him to start us off. And now we stall.

The constant camera cuts are reaching TNA levels here. They’re doing a weird handheld look here and it’s really not working at all. Apparently Buff has a new move for us tonight. He slaps Riggs and it’s on. Buff is sent to the floor which isn’t a DQ here for no apparent reason. I hate that rule but love how they constantly change it.

Eric: “Everybody has to go somewhere. Horses have glue factories and people here have Connecticut.” And then there’s Orlando I guess. Amazingly enough, this is a fairly boring match. Bagwell leads the fans in a Bagwell Sucks chant for some reason. He gets a powerbomb for two. This match is just rather boring. We get an back shot of Buff off a sunset flip attempt.

And now let’s look at the biker chicks again. Sure why not. Bischoff points out that the fans are restless and I’m rather surprised. This match would be perfect for me to get some rest to. It’s putting me to sleep. Riggs reverses a slam into a small package for a long two. The crooked referee schtick is getting very old.

Tornado DDT puts Buff down and Riggs of course doesn’t cover. Eric picks New England for the Super Bowl which was the wrong selection of course. After some more camera cuts and more slow counting, the fans are miserable. Patrick is tired here and I can’t really blame him for that. They go to the corner and Buff debuts the Blockbuster to end this. Yes, this got 14 minutes.

Rating: F+. And that’s just because I love the Blockbuster. This was incredibly boring and not even a fast paced match. At the end of the day, this was Marcus Bagwell vs. Scotty Riggs for almost 15 minutes on PPV. There is no way that works no matter what you say.

Yeah we get it: the girls are stupid.

There’s an NWO hotline. What’s on it? FIND OUT ON NITRO!

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Scott Norton

So Page turned down the NWO and became a MASSIVE face in the process so the ending here is about as obvious as you could ask for. Norton is strong of course. Page isn’t quite his usual self at this point but it’s coming very soon. Page vs. Savage would ignite his career and make him the superstar that he would become. He’s moving here which is odd to see.

And we still get it: Norton is strong. They keep talking about taking over Japan which was a thing hyped for awhile and then it never happened of course. Page pancakes him (Piledriver but he slams them forward instead) but Norton’s power takes over again. I never got why he was supposed to be all awesome or something. Sting is in the corner of the building so the whole match is thrown off course now.

Shoulder breaker sends Page to the floor and he’s in trouble. He gets beaten up a good bit on the floor as the PA guy calls Page a loser which has happened in every match so far tonight. All Norton for awhile but Page punches his way out of it and hits a nice top rope clothesline for two.

Page calls for the Diamond Cutter but here come a bunch of the weaker NWO guys led by Bagwell to offer the spot on the team to him again. He says yes and puts the shirt on before dropping Norton and then, in an actual SMART move from a face, gets the heck out of there before they kill him. Norton wins by countout I’d assume. Yeah he does.

Rating: D. Boring match but Page was trying at least. Like I said his big old push was coming soon and to say it worked is an understatement. This was obviously just to set up the angle at the end and the match was pretty bad because of it. That clothesline was good though.

We narrow it down a bit in the pageant. There’s just nothing to say about this.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Steiner Brothers

This was built up forever and included attempted vehicular manslaughter by the heels. I mean there was a video of the two teams in their cars and the Outsiders ran them off the road. The Scotts start us off with various levels of arm work. These camera angles are really getting annoying as it’s hard to tell what we’re looking at sometimes. And let’s talk about Hogan.

Rick vs. Hall now. And now back to the arm. Rick gets out of it by punching Hall in the face. Again, when all else fails: HIT THEM IN THE FACE! Chokeslam gets Hall out of trouble and here’s Nash. They don’t exactly look energetic out there if that makes sense. Scott hits that spinning belly to belly and now more arm work. Everyone has had the arm worked on at various times here.

This has been half punches, half arm work and half suplexes. There were occasions where both were going on at the same time. BIG boot puts Rick on the floor. The ring color is very offputting here. This is your usual slow and plodding Outsiders match with not a lot going on but a lot of time wasting, which technically is something I guess. And now let’s yell at DiBiase because we don’t care about the match.

Nash misses an elbow which takes us nowhere. Scott reaches out to Rick but Rick is facing the wrong way. Maybe Scott wants to take up proctology. Snake Eyes on the apron as we’re on the floor now. It’s Nash and Rick still if you’re wondering. Scott Steiner drills the other Scott and drops a bunch of F Bombs. Good night this needs to get going already.

Scott FINALLY comes in and beats up anyone that enjoys being outside with ease. Everything goes nuts and Scott gets the Razor’s Edge to Scott but there’s no referee. Top rope bulldog ends Hall and Randy Anderson comes in out of the crowd and counts the pin. If you’re stupid enough to think this lasted through Nitro the next night, you’re a very stupid person.

Rating: D+. Just rather boring again as the Outsiders couldn’t move at all and it just isn’t interesting to see them fight. Nothing special at all here as this DRAGGED. It’s the longest match of the night at fifteen minutes almost and it felt like a lot more than that. The screwjob ending doesn’t help much either but not a lot is going to help this show at this point.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Syxx

Remember what I said about nothing being able to help this show? I still think that’s correct but this isn’t going to hurt it any. Eddie is champion here but Syxx has the title itself. Oh and it’s a ladder match. The lack of music for the faces is really weird. Syxx is of course introduced as US Champion of the World. Bischoff calls him a one man rock concert. Oh dear he’s almost Heath Slater.

Eddie jumps him as the belt is being lifted up into the air. That would be cheating right? Wow even I find the jokes and writing in this review boring at this point. I think that might be due to this show just being weak so far. It’s different for sure but there’s just nothing of note in the ring so far. Granted that could be said about almost all WCW PPVs from this era.

BIG dive from Eddie sends Syxx’s head into the ground and HARD. Easily the biggest spot of the night so far but that looked very bad. Waltman (that other name is irritating for some reason) hits a spin kick off the second rope as the crowd is at least awake to an extent here. Bronco Buster hits Eddie but it’s just one shot at this point so it’s not as annoying yet.

Eddie hits a dropkick and Waltman goes FLYING. You would think he was catching a cannonball or something off that. Some LOUD fan shouts a gay slur at Eddie and even Eric has to respond to it. Big suicide dive by Waltman and the crowd is clearly restless even though this has been a pretty decent match so far. Well granted that’s based on like six minutes or so but it’s a breath of freaking air after watching Scott Norton and Scotty Riggs on PPV.

Scott Hall made ladder matches awesome. Did you know that? Teeter Totter shot to Waltman’s head and Eddie controls pretty easily here. It becomes your standard what vile things can we do with a basic piece of hardware match which is always pretty entertaining, especially with talented guys like Eddie and pretty good guys like Waltman. He’s off here because of the head shot earlier though I think.

Big old top rope suplex from Eddie as Waltman looks a little dead at the moment. Both guys go up and Waltman does something I’ve never seen before, jumping into the air and hitting a dropkick (kind of and closer to that than whatever Bischoff called it) to Eddie which looked great. Waltman of course crashed like a car driven by a penguin with bad eyesight.

Waltman can barely move as Eddie cranks it up again. Both guys go up as Eric says do it for Alice in Chains. Both guys go up and grab the belt at the same time. Eddie drills him with it and they both fall, but Guerrero holds onto it to get the title back for good this time.

Rating: B-. Match of the night BY FAR. This was actually good with these two being able to have some time and show off a bit. This was pretty good but nothing great. See what happens when you have two young guys out there and give them something where they can show off? YOU GET A GOOD MATCH!

The pageant begins (what?) and ends with a fat chick getting to make out with Eric. Again as stupid as it sounds.

WCW World Title: Hollywood Hogan vs. The Giant

The pyro for Hogan is set to his music which is pretty cool looking. The Cowboys are with him again here. No t-shirt for Hogan which is weird to see. Nate Newton is here as is George Teague. Oh and Ray Donaldson. Other than to big Cowboys fans only one of those names will mean a thing. Hogan is tiny looking here which is very weird to say the least.

I don’t mean because he’s against Giant. I mean his muscle mass is WAY down. Punches just tick Giant off. This is happening because Giant won World War III and Hogan said no title shot, thereby ticking Giant off. He was the first to leave the team after being in it like three or four months. And Hogan stalls. He begins his offense with punches before shifting slightly to harder punches and then going full boar with very hard punches.

Why does every move have to be heard around the world? Double clothesline and both guys are down already. Giant takes over and Hogan overacts. That’s always weird as he never acted at all as an actor but as a wrestler he acts far too much. Shoulder block gets nothing for Hogan and Hogan actually tries a small package. You see something new every day I guess.

It looked cool too as Giant just kind of held him there when he was trying to roll through with it. I love basic counters like that which get to show off someone’s power and size. After some very basic and weak looking heel stuff from Hogan, Giant goes up for a top rope elbow which misses of course as it would have hit Hogan so far that the hair inside Hogan’s skull would have popped out and his image would have been ruined. It also would put a lot of bandana companies out of business.

Giant no sells a big boot. Ok that’s pretty freaking cool. A weak slam (but still a slam nonetheless) sets up the legdrop which is completely no sold. Hogan parades around and doesn’t seem to notice the lack of Giant laying there. Chokeslam kills Hogan dead but Patrick keeps saying the shoulder was up even though he doesn’t move.

The run-ins begin of course and Giant piles them up like a chronic hoarder. The announcers hit the ring too until Hogan gets a (real) guitar as Hall and Nash get there. Good to see Hogan get rid of Giant with the instrument or the Outsiders might have had to do two things in one night! The fans want Sting which does nothing. Spray paint job ends this. The match was just thrown out I guess.

Rating: D-. This was their usual boring match that had nothing of note for it. It felt like the main event of a house show with the shoulder not being up thing but it’s better than the fake shoulder injury concept I guess. Another boring match to cap off a very boring show though.

The copyright says NWO which is a nice little touch.

Overall Rating: F+. I’ve seen some people say that this show is recommended because it’s so different. Well yeah that’s true it is different. It’s somehow more annoying and stupid than the rest of WCW’s stuff around this time. There’s one good match out of like eight and even it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. The atmosphere is most certainly different and it’s true that there never really has been another show like this, but that doesn’t mean it’s worth seeing. Bad show and different, but not worth watching.

Fall Brawl 1996
Date: September 15, 1996
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Winston Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 11,300
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone

WOW that’s a long name for a place to hold a show. This show is about two things: War Games and Sting. Six days before this, Sting had been announced as being in Japan for that day so he would NOT be at Nitro. Ok, fine. So later on in the night, Luger went chasing after someone in the NWO and ran into the parking lot where the NWO limo awaited. And out pops Sting. My jaw went through the floor when I saw it as a kid.

It turns out though that it’s a fake Sting and that the real guy really was in Japan. The deal here though is that even though we knew he was in Japan, he looked a lot like the real Sting so the WCW guys believed he had really turned until he told them otherwise. This was stupid from both sides. One: it was established he was in Japan.

If that’s the case, why wouldn’t they believe him? Second, can you blame them for believing it was him at least for awhile? Does NO ONE watch film anymore? So yeah the main event is NWO vs. WCW in War Games and neither team knows who the fourth guy for their team is, which makes things a bit odd but whatever. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is of course about the war between the two organizations. Oh and Giant has joined since the last show. Other than that it’s just about the chaos the NWO has been going off about in the last few months. We see the video from Sting “turning” and Eric FREAKING is great. We also see them destroying a car last night with their bats. Why were they never arrested?

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chavo Guerrero

Well this is an odd pairing. DDP is a heel still and is feuding with both Guerreros at this point. Chavo is almost brand new here having been in the company like five months and is TINY here. He hit the gym over the years and filled out a lot which is good for him as he looks pretty pathetic here. There are two rings here and they’re in the left one.

Chavo goes off on him early on the floor and whips him with a belt that I have no idea where he got. Apparently Eddie won the Battlebowl ring at Clash of the Champions from DDP so at least they’ve set this match up. This is a real contrast of styles as Chavo is young and fast and DDP is really bad at this point still. He’s pretty much the prime example of a guy that started off as horrible and just clawed his way up to being a quite good wrestler that was popular as well.

He kind of had a gimmick change but it was really more that he turned face and got confidence. He hits a top rope clothesline to really take over as Dusty is having way too much fun here. DDP hooks a nice little rolling move as he’s improving at this point. To be fair though he was horrible before this so an improvement is hard to avoid. He had some flashes of good stuff though and you could see it here.

Not that we’ve been told this or anything as it’s all about the main event here even though we’ve already bought the PPV in theory so it’s not like it needs to be hyped or anything. In a nice move (again) he sets for a belly to back suplex but just spins him over so he lands face first. That was very nice. Chavo makes his comeback with really basic stuff and some jumping stuff but again he’s a relative rookie here so there we are.

He kind of messes up a hurricanrana but it wasn’t terrible I guess. And now we’re in the other ring and Tony actually asks if this could be a count out. That’s….actually an interesting question as they’re in a different ring but they’re still in a ring. The fans are rising up for rollups. That’s a good sign and then they cheer loudly for a Helicopter Bomb by DDP for two. In a creative ending, DDP stomps on Chavo’s foot and gets the Diamond Cutter to a NICE face pop. His turn was coming very soon.

Rating: C+. Nothing too special here but not bad at all. DDP was getting better and better every time he had a big match and this was one of them. He still wasn’t that good, but you could see a lot of promise in him. He had the good music and the great finisher so he was well on his way. Once he turned face though, it was all awesome as his feud with Savage was one of the highlights of WCW. We’ll get to that soon enough.

SPECIAL REPORT

Gene talks about the NWO and what they’ve done. Uh, why are we seeing this now? Why would we need to see this if we’ve bought the show already? Couldn’t there be a match in this time or something? It’s a GREAT video that explains the first few months of the angle perfectly, but why are we watching this now?

Ice Train vs. Scott Norton

This is a submission match. Again I have to ask WHY? Is there anyone that thinks we need to see two matches between these guys? I was a semi-mark for Ice Train though so I’m not completely furious. Teddy Long of all people is managing Ice Train. Has this guy ever not been on a roster somewhere? He’s FAT looking here which is just bizarre considering what he looks like now. Train works on the arm which makes sense at least.

Now he uses…let’s call it a chinlock and be nice. Tony points out that Norton is using the same move that another guy uses for a finisher which might be bad but I’m not sure. They need to pick a freaking body part and STICK WITH IT. Norton has worked the arm, the back and the neck and now the arm again. Teddy comes in and distracts and a full nelson ends Norton. At least it wasn’t that long.

Rating: F+. Seriously, THIS gets 7 minutes of PPV time? Why? Who thought this was a good use of PPV time? Having them do one match at Hog Wild at least made sense, but did we really need to see these two in a gimmick match, especially THIS gimmick? I don’t think so.

Mexican Heavyweight Title: Konnan vs. Juventud Guerrera

Ok a lot to talk about here. For one thing, the Mexican Heavyweight Title is the AAA Americas’ Title, a title that was a midcard title that Konnan was the first to win. He won it then bailed to WCW with it so they just didn’t talk about it any more. He’s also a heel now with the whole street thing going on and has joined the Dungeon of Doom so he has Jimmy Hart with him. As for Juvy, he’s brand new here, having been around about three weeks.

There was also an internet rumor that he was actually Sean Waltman under the mask which is about as bizarre of a story as I’ve ever heard of. He trips over the steps during his intro in a funny thing, so maybe there was a reason for that story after all. Oh yeah we actually have a match to do now. Konnan is now described as a big man. That’s just odd to hear. In a painful looking spot, Konnan picks him up and just drops him over the top to the floor.

Juvy goes to the other ring and hits a QUADRUPLE jump leg lariat to take over. Take that Sabu. This is back when Konnan was motivated and therefore was actually interesting to watch as well as entertaining. The commentary just stops for like 30 seconds. That was strange. I’m watching a WCW show where there is decent wrestling going on.

Never mind on that strange comment. Juvy is flying all over the place here and it’s surprisingly working for me. Tenay calls the rope the top strand. Ok then. They botch the heck out of a moonsault press. I’d put that on Konnan though as it looked fine but Konnan didn’t sell it at all. He hits a great powerbomb to make up for it I guess. There’s a good deal of sloppiness here but for the most part it’s working.

In a STUPID move, Juvy has him set for a top rope rana and instead just backflips off the top. Konnan hits a dropkick immediately as he lands which Juvy freaking deserves. Dang that looked stupid. The masked dude hits a springboard spinwheel kick which is one of my favorite moves. 450 hits for two. A corkscrew splash gets two as for some reason the crowd is dead all of a sudden. Konnan hits what we would call a Musclebuster for two and then a super powerbomb from the top for the pin.

Rating: B-. This gets a much better grade if not for the sloppiness. I thought it worked quite well though for what they were trying to do. This was another example of WCW throwing some people out there and seeing what they could do. On that level I would say it definitely worked. Again though, the constant botches were hurting it. There was some good stuff though so I’d say it was good.

Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah this works. Again you can see the solid lower and midcard guys having the best matches and then the main event stuff being pure drama that was epic. With this kind of combination, there was no chance for any other company to touch WCW. The announcers imply that Benoit could be the fourth WCW guy in case Sting has jumped.

Benoit uses the Liontamer (as in the more painful looking one) before Jericho adopted it which is very weird looking. Dusty thinks there could have been 20 men in that limo with Sting, somehow managing to rival the in ring match for entertainment value. It’s so weird seeing a motivated Jericho in WCW. He goes for a springboard move but lands BACK FIRST on the apron on the way down. Freaking OW.

You can see the star in Jericho begging to be let out. Sadly it would never happen in this company. Bobby says you can hear those chops in Vietnam. What’s in that cup he’s drinking? According to Joey Styles it was vodka so there we go. Benoit is a Horseman here so he’s incredibly popular as we’re in Horsemen country, which is always odd to me since they were the top heels in that area for the most time.

This is Jericho’s PPV debut so he’s brand new as well. Let the chopping begin! Heenan is a bit tipsy already I think. The headbutt hits but it’s more like a splash, which works just fine too. That’s a perk of having a move such as that as if it’s botched like that it still looks fine. Apparently he was going 65-70 miles an hour too. I love WCW commentary at times.

And of course we get a line about the Shell Answer Man which Tony of course tries to explain, going from entertaining to ARE YOU KIDDING ME mode in seconds. Jericho goes Canadian as Heenan makes the Shell joke again. Tombstone hits Benoit but the Lionsault doesn’t. Dusty makes the comment that Jericho would be a big star in WCW.

That’s one for two I guess, but he had an eye for talent at least. He also says Benoit is the best pound for pound athlete in WCW but forget the pound for pound aspect. Benoit hits a belly to back off the top to knock Jericho the heck out for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a very physical match that told a good story: Jericho is the rookie that has nothing at all to lose and Benoit is the hot young guy that is looking to make a statement. These two should have headlined a bunch of PPVs, but alas we got Hogan vs. Savage about a million times instead.

Both of these two wound up main eventing Wrestlemania though so I think they had what it took, despite the old guys saying otherwise. Anyway, this was a very good match, but seriously, did you expect anything else?

Cruiserweight Title: Super Calo vs. Rey Mysterio

Thankfully Tenay is here for this but his mic doesn’t work. That leaves Heenan and Dusty to make their bad jokes about nothing in particular. Calo always looked kind of fat to me for some reason. He’s listed at 200lbs but I have some issue with that. He has a backwards hat on but I think the sunglasses are painted on his mask. So he’s the Blue Meanie? Some idiot chants boring a minute into the match.

Apparently his name comes from a big rap group in Mexico. Ok then. Rey is more or less the king of the hurricanrana so that’s the majority of his offense. He does the 619 but it’s more or less a taunting thing at this point. Calo hits a slingshot powerbomb which is a cool looking move. Calo hits an overhead senton to the floor onto Rey who is down. FREAKING OW! Calo is dominating here which isn’t expected by either myself or Rey.

Someone must have slipped Heenan some coffee as he’s far more coherent all of a sudden. We hear about some Lucha de Apuestas matches which is a new one on me in WCW (meaning I’ve never heard them talked about, not that I don’t know what they are). Rey finally comes back but Calo hits a dropkick to block his springboard something. It’s been probably 90-10 Calo here as he’s dominated.

Rey hits an INSANE rana with like 4 different bounces and springboards in it. This is why Rey used to be my favorite wrestler. Rey gets a springboard sunset flip for two as Bobby keeps trying to talk about the NWO and is actually ignored for the most part. That’s a different one also. Finally Rey hits a double springboard into the West Coast Pop for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good but it went on WAY too long. This gets three minutes cut out and it’s way better. Calo was never really much of anything, but he’s another example of a guy that got a chance in WCW and since he was brand new to the American audience, he was considered cool because he wasn’t like what was being seen.

That’s the brilliance of Bischoff in the day: throw so much at them so fast they can’t tell if it’s good or bad. The ending was well thought out though so it worked. There’s your difference between Bischoff and Russo.

Tag Titles: Harlem Heat vs. Nasty Boys

Heat have the belts here. So we go from Benoit, Jericho and Mysterio to this. Ok then. We get clubbering as Dusty LOSES it. That was kind of funny. I had to do this match about 5 times in 94 and 95 so I really don’t care that much about it here. Double teaming allows the champions to take over. Knobbs and Stevie run the ropes and it’s painful to see. Knobbs is so out of shape it’s pathetic.

And let’s get a chinlock now because this match is so riveting otherwise. Also throughout the match Sherri and Colonel Parker keep interfering to get on my nerves. I’m just killing time here until we get to the next two matches as they’re the “meat” of the show with War Games and Savage vs. Giant. Why was Savage not thrown into War Games? They didn’t have a fourth guy and you have Randy Savage in a nothing match with the Giant?

Does this make anything resembling sense? Sags hits a piledriver which has Bobby freaking out over them using a move. That wasn’t a piledriver but whatever. Parker trips Sags up to switch momentum again and I just do not care at all. END THE FREAKING MATCH ALREADY!

It’s been ten minutes so far and it’s all brawling and stuff like that with a ton of interfering from the managers. END THIS. Knobbs gets like the 8th hot tag of the match and I’m barely paying attention at this point since the belts aren’t changing hands. FINALLY a cane shot from Booker to Knobbs ends this idiocy. Move on PLEASE.

Rating: F. Oh just no. Who thought that these guys deserved 15 minutes? This was just boring aand NO ONE cared at all. This was terrible and deserves to fail.

Savage guarantees he’ll beat the Giant and then beat Hogan at Halloween Havoc.

Randy Savage vs. The Giant

Savage is wearing a Nitro T-shirt. Great way to make your #1 contender look like a jobber. Giant still has the Dungeon of Doom music here. Tony and Bobby are just funny as far as the anti-NWO stuff goes. Savage wisely doesn’t let him get in the ring to start us off. And then he goes to the floor to fight. WHY DOES EVERYONE TRY TO SLAM BIG MEN? It’s A BODY SLAM.

It’s hardly some big epic move that’s going to kill someone or explode their kidneys. It’s a freaking body slam. Giant says he’s going to make Savage disappear. Is he a magician all of a sudden? Giant hooks a back breaker hold as all of the fans are looking at something more interesting. Even the announcers point it out. And now it’s a Boston Crab. Yes, a guy the size of the Giant is using Rick Martel’s hold.

Can we just get to War Games now? Savage actually slams him in the only power display I’ve ever seen from him. He hits the elbow and doesn’t cover to allow the storyline to go forward. And here’s Hogan who he chases after. Yep, Hall distracts him and Nash pops him with a chair. Beatdown commences, Nick Patrick sees nothing of course, and Giant gets a simple pin.

Rating: D. This was short and bad. At least it wasn’t that long and now we’re down to War Games so I can’t complain. This somehow was supposed to build up to Halloween Havoc but whatever. At least this wasn’t that long and now I’m repeating myself out of boredom. Considering how awesome the first hour and 45 minutes or so went, the last half hour has been AWFUL.

The cage is lowered. This is always cool.

Flair, Anderson and Luger say their usual stuff. Flair is asked who will be the fourth man but doesn’t say a name. He almost implies there won’t be a fourth. Anderson starts talking a bit, but here’s Sting. He says it wasn’t him and Luger says he looked him right in the eyes and knows it was him. Maybe he should have gotten his eyes checked. Sting says he’ll see Luger in awhile. Other than a promo the next night on Nitro, he wouldn’t speak again until January 98.

Before we get going, here are the rules. It’s 4 on 4 (although we don’t know who the fourth guy is for either team as Sting has apparently been thrown out). They both send in a man in each to begin for five minutes. At four minutes in there’s a coin toss (the heels literally never lost) to determine control.

After the first five minute period ends, the team that won the toss sends in its second man and they have a 2-1 advantage. This lasts two minutes and after that two minutes the losing team sends in its second man making it 2-2. They alternate for two minute periods until all 8 are in and then it’s first submission (no pins) wins.

War Games: Team NWO vs. Team WCW

So far it’s Hogan, Hall and Nash vs. Flair, Anderson and Luger. You know there’s a huge angle coming when Hogan, Hall, Nash and Giant vs. Flair, Anderson, Luger and Sting isn’t the best they can do. That’s a SICK sounding War Games when you think about it, but that’s not the best they can do. Scott Hall is first for the NWO and he has DiBiase with him. Anderson starts for WCW. That promo from Sting was the first time he had been seen in 6 days.

To be fair, maybe he couldn’t get a flight back from Japan. Maybe I should stop thinking about it so much. We keep hearing about how awesome the Horsemen are in this match. Did they ever win one? Hall beats him up to start. Well that went well. Dusty cheering for Anderson is just wrong on so many levels. Nick Patrick is the referee. Bobby freaks out over who the fourth man is for the NWO and how unfair it is for them not to tell WCW who the fourth man is.

Tony: they don’t know our fourth man either. Arn gets the figure four for like 3 seconds which is just odd. The problem is that Arn vs. Hall really isn’t that interesting of a match. The key thing here is that it looks like an awesome structure and it really is. Patrick threatens to end the match right now much to the announcers’ chagrins. We hit two minutes left. The NWO of course wins the coin toss.

There’s the spinebuster on Hall and then a half crab which Hall taps to. It’s Nash in second and after about 9 seconds Arn goes down to a big boot. Nash hits Snake Eyes, and he was the guy that actually gave it that name when he was Vinny Vegas back in the early 90s. Luger jumps the gun and they realize there’s nothing they can do about it so there we are. He’s wearing black boots which is kind of weird looking.

He beats up both Outsiders for awhile and Arn is back up now. There’s a formula to these matches and to be fair it worked so there was no real need to ever change it. Heenan points out that everyone should just come out here now. WCW dominates as we have 15 seconds left.

Hogan is 3rd so it’s the original three vs. Luger and Anderson. Hogan goes off on Arn which is a match that happened a lot on Nitro in 96 actually. The fans want Flair as Anderson is beating Hogan up. That’s a new one. Hogan drops the leg on Anderson and we’re still waiting on Flair. There he is to an ERUPTION. It’s North Carolina. Did you expect anything else?

Flair stays in the empty ring and calls out Hogan. Dusty then cracks me up to the point where I have to stop the video. “One on one, I don’t know if Hogan can beat Flair.” WOW. I don’t think Flair has ever beaten Hogan, but all of a sudden Hogan can’t beat him. That’s just hilarious. We go split screen when for once we actually should. Flair goes low on everyone and WCW is in control again.

“Sting” is the fourth man in the NWO. This became a running joke as there would be like a million fake Stings over the years, ranging from Chris Harris to guys as tall as Nash and somehow the announcers could never tell. There’s another referee in there now too. The fans, having basic intelligence and passable vision, of course get the idea as they chant WE WANT STING.

Another way to tell is that Sting has always had a very unique striking style. Pop in some Sting tapes and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Oh and Tony offers a pearl of wisdom by saying the one man advantage has been the deciding factor. The clock runs out and it’s the real Sting. His pop is better than Flair’s so take that for what it’s worth. He beats the living crap out of the NWO on his own and stares down Luger.

He leaves, asking if that’s good enough. The NWO destroys them afterwards with Sting putting on a Scorpion and Hogan making sure he gets some credit by throwing on a horrible front facelock for the “submission.” In a scary line, Heenan says that hold could make Luger lose the use of his legs, which of course he has in real life. Luger crawls towards the back, screaming for Sting.

And now he gets beaten up even worse. The Horsemen keep fighting but it’s 4-2 at this point so it doesn’t mean much. Savage runs out and he goes straight for Hogan. Hogan runs and here’s the Giant. The beatdown is on and it’s bad for Savage. Here’s Liz to do….something. She tries to cover up Savage and gets painted with the words 4 Life on her dress. I’m sure there’s a joke there.

The fans think he sucks and he wants a mic. He talks about how they said they would be together until death do them part and he says he’ll make that happen then SPITS ON LIZ. WOW. Yeah he’s eternally punished. Tony says this is the lowest WCW has ever reached. Oh you don’t want to go there dude.

This company had the Ding Dongs for crying out loud. Giant says he’s the best artist in the world. This needs to end. And now the NWO takes over the announce position in the middle of the announcers complaining about life in general. The show ended over ten minutes after the match ended.

Rating: C+. This match is about getting to the ending. The wrestling itself is just boring though. However, it’s War Games, which makes it awesome by association. The match was of course second to the ending but it worked out fine for what it was. This was about setting up Sting and the biggest angle in company history and it certainly worked in that regard. It built to that point so I can’t complain.

Overall Rating: B. Other than the AWFUL tag title match, there isn’t really anything that bad on here. There are a ton of good and entertaining matches in play here and every one of them worked just fine. Also, other than the Savage match and the submission match, everything here is at least thirteen minutes long.

They let the guys go out there and work and it came off very well. This would become the system used for a LONG time in WCW: awesome midcard, terrible main stuff and while it started out awesome, ultimately it ended WCW for reasons we’ll get to later. Overall though, very good show and well worth checking out. Just fast forward the tag title stuff.