Monday Nitro #104
Date: September 8, 1997
Location: Wisconsin Center Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 8,596
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

It’s the go home show for Fall Brawl which I don’t think we have much of a confirmed card for. It’s pretty clear that Luger, Page, Hall and Savage will be in WarGames but other than that we don’t have much confirmed. This week’s show has to be better than last week’s or at least less dull. Hopefully this won’t be a bunch of whining from the announcers for two hours again. Let’s get to it.

We open with the Nitro Girls dancing in the ring with Tony running down the card for tonight.

Tony tells us that Flair is on Team WCW along with Luger and Page for WarGames. He starts to talk about the Horsemen parody last week but gets cut off by Eric Bischoff. Eric says run the tape but after a few moments, the tape cuts off and we see the Horsemen at the desk instead. Mongo (booed because he used to be a Bear (and a Packer) and we’re in Packer country) wants to fight right now and the Horsemen march to the ring.

They want the NWO right now so of course no one comes out. Hennig says that since he’s the enforcer of the Horsemen, it’s his job to get revenge. Flair says that last year was the first time that he was embarrassed to be a pro wrestler. Oh just wait Slick Ric. Just wait. Flair says that he’s not leaving until he gets his hands on Bagwell, Syxx, Konnan and Nash.

Post break the Horsemen are being escorted out of the ring.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Eddie Guerrero

During the entrances, Tony says that the new commissioner might be named tonight. Eddie grabs Rey’s arm to start but gets tossed around to break the hold. Guerrero comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before cranking on the arm some more before we go to break. Back with Eddie cranking on the arm some more until Rey breaks out and pounds on Eddie, only to get slammed back down.

Guerrero slides to the floor for no apparent reason, allowing Rey to dive down onto him to take over. Tony of course talks about the NWO and basically ignore the match while Tenay tries to keep the focus in place. Back in and a moonsault press gets two on Eddie but Guerrero catches a top rope cross body in a slam for two of his own. A BIG powerbomb takes Rey down again for two more, as does a butterfly powerbomb. Eddie busts out the Gory Special, but Rey rolls off his back to escape. Rey escapes powerbomb attempt #2 and heads to the apron, hitting West Coast Pop out of nowhere for the win.

Rating: B-. These two are guys that you always expect a good match out of. They would have a masterpiece at Halloween Havoc and while this is nowhere near that one, it’s still a solid back and forth match and a good choice for an opener. Also, can anyone take a powerbomb as well as Rey Mysterio? He sells them really well.

DDP says he wants respect and thinks both he and Luger have earned said respect. Tonight it’s Luger vs. Page so Team WCW can get along on Sunday. Luger says ok but don’t hold anything back.

Hugh Morrus vs. Disco Inferno

This is fallout from last week. Hugh pounds him down to start with clotheslines and headbutts, followed by a good looking spinwheel kick. The future Tough Enough trainer misses a corner splash though and crashes out to the floor for a bit. Back in and Disco slaps him because Disco isn’t that bright. Cue Alex Wright for some dancing as Morrus loads up No Laughing Matter (moonsault). Wright slides in the belt, but Disco puts it face down on his chest to injure himself. Like I said, he’s not that bright. Morrus gets the pin over the idiot.

Wright and Disco argue post match.

The NWO makes fun of the Horsemen again and apparently it’s Konnan/Bagwell vs. two Horsemen tonight.

Cruiserweight Title: Brad Armstrong vs. Chris Jericho

Before the match here’s Eddie to say that last week he should have gotten a shot. He asks Brad to step aside here but Brad basically ignores him and jumps the champ to start things off. Apparently the winner of this has to defend against Guerrero on Sunday anyway. Dang Eddie is greedy isn’t he? And didn’t he lose earlier tonight anyway?

Jericho blocks a monkey flip to send Brad to the floor, followed by a suicide dive from the champ. Back in and Jericho charges into a boot followed by a tornado DDT from Armstrong for two. Jericho comes back with a standing Lionsault for two followed by the missile dropkick to send Armstrong to the floor. Not that it matters as Eddie runs in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. These two were working well together with some solid back and forth stuff. Unfortunately it didn’t get to go anywhere because Armstrong was there to fill in a spot, but he could fill in a spot quite well. With Mysterio back and Eddie going after the title, the Cruiserweights are about to come back with a vengeance. Good stuff here and I wouldn’t mind seeing more from these two.

Hour #2 begins and it’s time to dance.

We recap Hogan beating up JJ from last week, which brings out Bischoff and Hogan. Eric introduces him as the champion of the universe before handing the mic to Hogan. Hollywood says everyone is here to see the NWO. Yeah that’s pretty much true. Flair isn’t the man apparently. I don’t remember him saying that lately but ok then. Hollywood says no one is going to touch Bischoff again. He’s kind of all over the place here. The Horsemen are going down tonight apparently. Finally, Hogan says he’ll put the title on the line RIGHT NOW against Sting.

Hogan poses…..AND HERE’S STING! He falls REALLY fast and hits the barricade….and it’s a mannequin. This causes Tony to have to act concerned and he makes Stephanie McMahon look Oscar worthy. Hogan freaks out and says that’s not what is supposed to happen and a stretcher comes out. The NWO picks Sting up and puts him limp body in the ring as Tony gets what’s going on. Hogan drops a pair of legs and Bischoff, now in a referee’s shirt, counts the pin.

Lee Marshall does his schtick.

Faces of Fear vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott starts and immediately walks into a powerslam from Barbarian. That’s not something you see that often. A double tag brings in Rick to face Meng and the Steiners clear the ring for their signature running around the ring pose. Of all teams that face the Steiners, the Faces of Fear actually are the ones smart enough to rush the Steiners when they’re posing and get the advantage.

We wind up with Meng vs. Rick with Meng hitting the dropkick which always impressed Jesse Ventura. Off to Barbarian for another powerslam for two as Rick is in trouble. Back to Meng who gets caught in a sunset flip of all things. That goes nowhere so it’s back to the Barbarian for a double headbutt from the monsters. Off to a chinlock by the Tongan which doesn’t last long as Rick fights up and hits a Steiner Line. The third slam of the match by Barbarian looks to set up the diving headbutt but Rick dodges.

The hot tag brings in Scott who cleans house until everything breaks down. Barbarian gets caught in a belly to belly superplex from Scott but Meng puts Rick in the Tongan Death Grip. Cue Harlem Heat along with Mortis/Wrath for the double DQ. Heenan: “Why do the NWO guys never fight each other like this?” Oh don’t worry Bobby. They will, and in different color shirts!

Rating: C+. The Faces of Fear were on a mini roll at this point and would have a surprisingly good match with Mortis and Wrath on Sunday. The Steiners would continue to spin their wheels against Harlem Heat while they waited to be able to win the titles they should have won about five times already. Another decent little match here.

Scott Hall vs. Super Calo

Hall wants Calo to take his glasses off, even though I believe they’re painted onto his face. Calo gets a shot in on Hall in the corner and that’s about the extent of his offense. Hall sends him to the floor before going back inside and cranking away on both arms. The fallaway slam from the middle rope sets up the Outsider’s Edge to end this squash.

Post match Big Bubba comes in to face off with Hall and lay him out with a spinebuster. Vincent comes out and takes a Boss Man Slam before Hogan himself comes out. Boss Man stares him down but poses in the corner, allowing Hall to hit the Outsider’s Edge and lay him down. Total time for Traylor to stand tall: about 83 seconds. Hogan calls him the Big Loss Man.

Dean Malenko vs. Psychosis

Apparently the winner of Malenko vs. Jarrett on Sunday gets a shot at the US Title at Halloween Havoc. They head to the mat quickly and why would you ever do that against Dean Malenko? Psychosis breaks a headscissors and gets up, only to get caught in a standing armbar. Psychosis tries a leg lock but Dean is in the ropes before it can be on full. A dropkick puts the masked dude on the floor and as they come back in, a fan tries to come in. Referee Mark Curtis, who might weigh 110lbs soaking wet, KNEES HIM IN THE HEAD and chokes him down until security takes him out.

After that’s settled down, Psychosis kicks Dean to the floor where Sonny Onoo can get in a few shots. Psychosis has to save Sonny from getting killed and we head inside again. Scratch that as we go right back to the floor where Psychosis hits a good looking suicide dive. That and a victory roll get two for Psychosis back inside but Dean takes him down with a leg lariat. Psychosis slams him down and loads up the guillotine legdrop but it only gets two. Sonny argues with the referee, which winds up meaning nothing as Dean counters a rana attempt into the Cloverleaf for the tap out.

Rating: C. Not bad again here as Dean can barely do anything wrong in 1997. Sonny Onoo as a manager was about as worthless as you could get as a manager around this time as he just kind of stood around and yelled at people while throwing kicks that didn’t do much damage. Also it’s interesting to see the cruiserweights being pushed more and more lately. It isn’t likely to last but it’s cool while it lasts.

Jarrett comes out and wants to fight right now but immediately runs away.

WE get the reveal of the new commissioner and it’s Roddy Piper. He says this is like putting John Belushi in charge of the frat house. Well Bluto became a Senator (and President if you got the anniversary edition) so that might not be a bad idea. Piper says he used to be President of the WWF so tonight he’s going to do three things. First of all he guarantees Sting vs. Hogan by the end of the year (BIG pop). Then he says he’s facing Hogan at Halloween Havoc in a cage (not as big of a pop). Finally he’s putting the Horsemen in WarGames (moderate pop). Not a terrible start I guess.

Ric Flair/Curt Hennig vs. Buff Bagwell/Konnan

The Horsemen clear the ring to start before we get down to Bagwell vs. Flair. Flair chops away to start but gets clotheslined and backdropped down. I’ll give Flair this: he never had an issue with making any kid look good. Off to Konnan for some choking before it’s back to Buff. Nice to see the Cuban contingent contributing so much here.

A dropkick puts Flair down again and it’s off to the corner for a Flair Flip. Naturally he runs the apron to go up top, but surprisingly enough he isn’t slammed down. Instead Buff crotches and superplexes him down for no cover. Buff poses as even Konnan is yelling at him to do something. A top rope elbow misses and it’s hot tag to Hennig who cleans house. The NWO is sent to the floor and Bagwell sneaks back in to take out Hennig’s knee.

Konnan drops Curt on the steps before getting tagged back in to work on the knee. A kick to the face misses though and it’s another hot tag to Flair to face Buff. Tony of course is going nuts about how THIS is how you work together. Flair fires off chops but walks into a powerslam because Heaven help us if WCW gets to look strong over Buff freaking Bagwell. Hennig jumps Buff and Flair locks on the Figure Four but Konnan makes a fast save. A quick PerfectPlex on Konnan gets the win despite neither guy being legal.

Rating: C. Basic tag match here to set up WarGames a bit more which is fine. Hennig looked good and Bagwell continued to look goofy as he always did. Flair wasn’t exactly furious here like he said he would be earlier, which makes the match seem like it doesn’t mean all that much. Still though, not bad.

Lex Luger vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Luger shoves him down to start as Tony says let them go at it. This coming from the same “STOP FIGHTING AND WORK TOGETHER” guy. Lex cranks on the arm and grabs a headlock before running Page over with a clothesline. Cue the NWO as Page throws Luger to the floor. Page didn’t seem to know the NWO was there.

Luger gets beaten up and thrown back in as now DDP sees the NWO. A neckbreaker gets two on Lex and there’s the Pancake for two more. Lex comes back with a belly to back suplex and his string of clotheslines. The third one misses though and Lex falls to the floor. Page follows and brawls with the NWO for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was storyline advancement rather than a match. Page and Luger’s issues are pretty much done now as they threw up their hands and said forget about it. Well why bother having a conclusion to a storyline when you can just stop working on it at all? They would face Hall/Savage again on Sunday.

Page and Luger beat up the NWO as the Giant comes down to help. WCW stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. For a go home show, this was a pretty solid edition with a lot of at least decent matches. The main issue here is that the Horsemen didn’t close the show despite being the Team WCW for Sunday’s WarGames. Still though, good stuff here overall with some solid cruiserweight stuff. I don’t know what’s gotten into WCW lately with them but it’s working well.

Here’s Fall Brawl if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/16/fall-brawl-1997-wcw-gets-beaten-up-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Fall Brawl 1997
Date: September 14, 1997
Location: Lawrence Joel Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Winston-Salem, North Carolina
Attendance: 11,939
Commentators: Ton Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

THINK THAT’S A LONG ENOUGH LOCATION??? With so many WCW shows left I’m going to start hammering more of them out by doing the remaining versions of various shows, starting with the last three Fall Brawls, as in 97-99. Anyway this is more or less the last classic WarGames and the roster for it more or less sucks. The main perk of this show for old school fans is that there are three matches over 15 minutes. Anyway let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Flair and the Horsemen with Anderson inducting Hennig into the Horsemen. Also the NWO making fun of the Horsemen in a hilarious parody. That’s about it apparently.

Heenan in a bowtie is a weird look.

Cruiserweight Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is champion and Eddie is freshly heel and dominant up to this point. The double ring setup is always a nice touch. Eddie bails to the floor and covers his ears to avoid the booing. Technical stuff to start us off with Eddie getting frustrated. Very slow start here but they have a ton of time to work with so it’s fine. Eddie gets some HARD chops in the corner so Jericho is like screw that and chops Eddie down.

Chris works on the arm and the fans want….something. Back to the mat with Jericho working on the arm some more. Eddie tries to speed things up a bit so Jericho LAUNCHES him into a hot shot across the top and hits the Lionsault for two. Eddie counters an armbar into a smaller version of the same thing Jericho did earlier. Nice little psychology there. Modified Backstabber and Eddie holds onto it for a bow and arrow style move.

Belly to back gets no cover for Guerrero. There’s a surfboard and I still don’t see how that move is physically possible. Oh never mind as he hooks it with a chinlock instead of the regular move. Jericho gets up, only to be taken down by a European uppercut. Hilo works on the back even more. Gory Special goes on and Jericho is in trouble. Jericho reverses into one of his own and slams Eddie face first.

They slug it out and Jericho takes over, hitting some clotheslines in the corner. Eddie walks the ropes ala Old School but gets crotched on the top. Jericho hits his springboard dropkick and tries a Piledriver on the apron. Instead he shifts to a powerbomb but drops Eddie backwards onto the top as Jericho drops to the floor. It’s kind of hard to describe.

Back in the Canadian hits a German to the Latino for two. Eddie pops up and hits a spinning Rock Bottom but Eddie can’t follow up. Powerslam gets two for Jericho. Spinwheel kick gets two. Flapjack by Jericho but Eddie reverses La Magistrol for two of his own. Jericho hits a double powerbomb and puts Eddie on top. Chris tries a superplex but Eddie reverses into a cross body out of that. Frog Splash gives Eddie the title.

Rating: A-. Gee what a shock: you give Eddie and Jericho 17 minutes and you get an awesome match. Eddie was the freaking man at this point as six weeks later he and Rey would have what is arguably the best WCW match of all time at Halloween Havoc. Great match with a ton of awesome spots and a fast pace. Sadly, the rest of the show just wishes it could be this awesome.

Jeff Jarrett is doing an interview on WCW.com. He would be back in the WWF in like 5 weeks. You can chat with Jarrett right now! Get off your couch and go to your computer and talk to him!

Harlem Heat vs. Steiner Brothers

Larry Z is on commentary now instead of Tenay. This is a #1 contender match, even though the Outsiders never actually defended the titles. I don’t mean against the #1 contenders. I mean they never defended them period. Basically a team would be #1 contenders for a few weeks then there would be another match to determine new ones. Jackie is with Harlem Heat and DiBiase is with the Steiners. Scott was about to start his slow heel turn but it wasn’t quite here yet.

Stevie and Scott start us off. Stevie hammers away and Steiner is like boy please and hammers away on him. And never mind as Stevie kicks his head off. Side slam gets no cover. Booker looks all ready for a tag but that might be a better match so we’ll stick with Stevie. Scott overpowers him for a bit but Booker busts out a full nelson of all things to take over.

Suplex puts Scott down but Booker jumps into a belly to belly and the Steiners clean house. Rick comes in to hammer away on Booker but it’s off to Scott quickly. Big spin kick puts Rick down and it’s off to Stevie. Rare to see the Steiners tagging in and out that much. The Steiners get all physical on them but Scott gets caught by a pretty sweet kick by Booker to send him to the floor.

Stevie chokes away and Jackie continues to be worthless. Rick tries a save but it’s time for Scott to play face in peril for awhile. Big forearm gets two. Hot tag to Rick who cleans house. He hits the bulldog off the top on someone but it’s the wrong man. Heat Seeker (Doomsday Device but with a dropkick instead of a clothesline) gets two on Rick. A German suplex/clothesline combo ends Ray quickly after that.

Rating: C. Meh match here as it’s really just a tag match. It’s not bad or anything but you can only see the same two teams fight so many times before you get tired of it. I’d have liked to see Harlem Heat get a shot but the Steiners and Outsiders were joined at the hip for the most part so that wasn’t going to happen. At least the Steiners would split in February.

TV Title: Ultimo Dragonvs. Alex Wright

This was one of the worst title feuds you’ll ever see and so it went on forever. The matches were ok but at the same time it just went on and on and it was never really interesting. Wright is champion here. Oh and Wright is kind of heelish now. There are four commentators now. Long feeling out process to start as I have a feeling we’re in for a ver long one here.

Wright hits the floor for a breather and comes back with a headlock. Dragon speeds things up and fires off the kicks, sending Wright to the floor again. Back in Wright hits a Stun Gun and takes over again. Spinwheel kick gets two and Wright hits a pancake (Piledriver but you fall forward instead). Off to the chinlock as it’s clear we do in fact have a lot of time here.

That gets broken up and we go right back to it again in case you forgot what it looked like I guess. Belly to back gets two and we HIT THE CHINLOCK AGAIN! Dragon wakes up a bit and hits a crossbody followed by some kicks. A spinwheel kick misses though and Dragon goes down again. The fourth chinlock in less than five minutes goes on as you have to start questioning why they’ve been given this much time when you could cut the match in half to have an extra match. Larry says a lot of people used to kill the clock like this, which is a nice line considering he’s legendary for it.

Make that the fifth chinlock. When that’s your best move, methinks you’re not that good yet. Wright dances out of a sunset flip attempt and dances even more. Dragon knocks him off the top but misses a dive, eating feet instead. We head to the floor and Wright shows that he’s not that smart as he stands in place for the Asai Moonsault against the guy who invented it and turns around. How could you screw that up? Seriously, how could you screw that up???

Back in and Dragon takes over with a rana for no cover. That looked bad too. Back to their feet and things speed up a bit with Dragon getting a butterfly suplex for two. Tiger suplex gets two. Dragon sets for the super rana but Wright reverses. Dragon reverses the reversal into a powerbomb out of the corner for two. Mutaesque Moonsault gets two. Another rana is reversed into a sunset flip in a nice bit of psychology there.

Wright counters a dive with a dropkick to the ribs but Dragon reverses a belly to back into a cross body for two. Small package gets two. La Magistral gets two. Wright wants his German suplex finisher but Dragon reverses. Super rana hits but he can’t get the Dragon Sleeper. Regular sleeper is countered into a jawbreaker by Wright and the German suplex gives the German the win.

Rating: C. If this was about a ten minute match instead of the 18 they had, this is FAR better. The last 5 minutes or so were really good but before that it was rather boring. It’s not bad mind you, it’s just really boring. Wright would lose the title 8 days later to Disco Inferno of all people so it’s not like this meant anything. Still though, nearly 20 minutes for these two was WAY too long.

Gene is schilling the hotline for later and Team NWO for later runs past. Methinks shenanigans are coming. Gene goes to see and Curt Hennig is down on the floor. Say it with me: HE’S TURNING ON THE HORSEMEN TONIGHT.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Dean Malenko

Winner is supposed to get the US Title shot next month but that wouldn’t happen due to various things. Jarrett sends Debra to the back for no apparent reason. Technical stuff to start as you would expect with Jarrett taking over for the most part. We’re about five minutes in now and there is nothing to say in the slightest. Jeff has worked on the arm for awhile and other than that it’s just a low gear exhibition.

Dean gets a nice dropkick to take over and never mind as we’re back to the boring stuff. I’m talking about just standing there with a headlock for like 20 seconds and then taking it to the mat for another minute or so. Thankfully they speed things up a bit and Dean takes over, ramming Jeff into the buckle a few times. Bah there’s a sleeper to end that run. It might have sped up for about 30 seconds and then it’s right back to the slow stuff.

Double axe off the top hits and there’s a superplex for Dean. It’s probably good to have him in control as Jeff is Memphis through and through and that makes for some rather boring matches at times, especially when there’s no real feud between these guys. Memphis heat is based on hatred and when there’s nothing there, it doesn’t work for the most part.

German suplex by Dean looks to set up the Cloverleaf and there it is but that might be interesting so we go to the ropes to break that up quickly. Debra is here now for no apparent reason and both guys go to the floor. Dean goes back in and hits a baseball slide to send Jeff down again. Time for the knee work but Jeff takes over again and works on the knee a bit himself.

Dean is able to counter a cannonball drop to send Jeff out to the apron. Back to the floor again with Jeff being sent into the railing. Suplex back in is reversed into a cover by Jeff for two. Dean gets a sleeper which is reversed into a suplex for no cover. Jeff goes up and jumps into the boot but catches himself and grabs the leg in an attempt at the Figure Four. Dean rolls it up for two and Jeff gets a neckbreaker for two. Pinfall reversal sequence gets some nice counters but Jeff gets a chop block and the Figure Four ends this.

Rating: C. Just like in the previous match they went too long and the first ten minutes or so were really boring. Tony calling it great is your standard overhyping but it didn’t work at all for the opening half. Dean was awesome in this year but it wasn’t on display here. Another match that didn’t need to be as long, or on this show in the slightest actually.

The NWO says they’ll win and they have a plan. Konnan sounds WEIRD here.

Mortis/Wrath vs. Faces of Fear

You know, because THIS needed to be on PPV right? The Faces (team, not the face/heel aspect which I don’t think has a face team in this) are in red for some reason here. Barbarian and Mortis start us off. Mortis hammers away with some success so Barbarian just throws him into the corner like something that is easily thrown. Off to Meng who has a brawl with Wrath for awhile.

Wrath gets a middle rope clothesline and takes over. Back off to Mortis and that doesn’t work all that well for him. Off to Barbarian again who hits a headbutt to take over again. Meng backdrops Mortis into a powerbomb in a spot that really wasn’t as good as it sounds. Pumphandle slam gets two for Barbarian. Mortis tries to hammer on Meng and it doesn’t work in the slightest.

Barbarian goes up again and gets crotched while James Vandenberg (Mitchell) runs from a camera. Barbarian dives into a boot so Wrath comes in for a beatdown. DWI gets two on Barbarian as Meng saves. This is rather boring if that wasn’t coming off. Wrath and Mortis take over for awhile and Mortis hits a Fameasser off the top for two. Wrath gets a belly to back to set up a top rope clothesline/punch for no cover still.

Mortis rams the steps into Barbarian to keep up the dominance. That only gets two back in the ring. This is taking forever to get through. Three man Tower of Doom suplex sends Barbarian flying again. Barbarian is a fun word to type. Wrath and Meng both come in to hammer away on each other with Meng taking over. BIG chop to Mortis. Kick of Fear to Mortis and a powerslam to Wrath gets two. Top rope splash gets two for Meng on Mortis. Double Tongan Death Grip to Mortis and Vandenberg but Wrath grabs a Death Penalty (Rock Bottom) for the pin.

Rating: C+. Surprisingly enough this wasn’t that bad. The problem in short though is that this was on PPV for about twelve minutes. Why in the world should this have been on PPV? There was no reason to have them fight it seems, but they did anyway and they got a lot of time. I don’t get this one at all and while the match was actually pretty good, that doesn’t mean it needs to be here.

The Horsemen are ready for the main event. No Hennig here. Flair rants loudly of course.

The Giant vs. Scott Norton

Giant is waiting on his match with Nash so he needs someone to beat on I guess. Giant calls for the chokeslam before the match even starts. Brawl in the form of a battle of the big men to start us off as you would expect. Giant tosses him over the top and we head to the floor for some more brawling. Norton manages to ram Giant into the post and take over.

Giant hammers Norton again as this is a fairly decent power brawl actually. This doesn’t go much of anywhere because the moves are kind of repetitive. Norton gets a rather impressive hot shot on Giant who was indeed flying through the air. Giant takes some corner splashes and Norton gets a belly to back suplex for two. With the help of the middle rope, Giant hits a nip up. Ok that was pretty cool looking. He goes nuts and hits the Chokeslam to end it quick.

Rating: C. This wasn’t too bad I guess but for a match like this, another battle of the big men, there’s only so much you can do. Norton wasn’t going to win here and everyone knew it but he hit some big moves and the power game was pretty cool. The nip up is awesome and he only busted it out on occasion. Fun match for what it was but nothing you can’t see a hundred times with various people in it.

Diamond Dallas Page/Lex Luger vs. Scott Hall/Randy Savage

Literally no transition at all between matches which is kind of odd but it was a WCW thing I guess. Larry talks about how he used to beat up Hall back in the day but still won’t say where this was. I guess it’s a copyright thing or something. Luger and Hall start us off and with Lex shoving him around a lot. Luger beats up both NWO guys on his own and clears the ring.

Off to Page and Hall works on his arm. We talk about NASCAR for some reason as Page hammers away. Both guys miss clotheslines so Page hits a Pancake, one of his signature moves, and then drills Savage because he can. Hall throws Page around a bit as he becomes the face in peril to fill in time I guess. Page fights out of the corner as we’re just waiting on the screwy finish here.

Hall jumps Luger and literally beats him down between the rings. Savage chokes Page a bit and then throws him into the other ring. That isn’t a DQ because Page didn’t hit the floor. Just get rid of the freaking rule already. They throw him back over to mess up the rule again. Down goes the referee to set up the screwy stuff.

Luger is still between the rings I guess. There goes another referee and Larry goes out to help. Larry glares at him and Luger pops up for the rollup pin. I mean literally, he pops up from between the rings to roll him up. Screw being legal I guess. That ends it of course. Oh and Larry counts the pin just because. Somehow that counts apparently.

Rating: D-. The match was ok up until the ending and then it all fell apart because it has to I guess. Is it just impossible to have a match end cleanly? Apparently it is because they never seem capable of doing it in this company. Weak ending aside, this was nothing you wouldn’t see on Nitro any given week.

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Team WCW vs. Team NWO

WCW: Ric Flair, Chris Benoit, Steve McMichael, Curt Hennig
NWO: Kevin Nash, Konnan, Syxx, Buff Bagwell

WarGames here and here are the rules for the two of you that have somehow never seen this match. You start off with a guy from each team for five minutes. After that a coin toss will be won by the heels and they get an advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up another person comes in from the team that loss the coin toss. You alternate like that every two minutes until all eight are in and then it’s first submission (no pins) wins it. Also in a double cage of course.

This is more or less a revenge feud for the Horsemen after the parody that the NWO did on Nitro which was so dead on that it was hilarious while being totally disrespectful. The teams are at ringside here which would go back and forth. Not that it means anything but these entrances are long so I need to fill in space. Also this is the final traditional WarGames match, meaning it’s more or less destined to suck.

No Hennig here due to the beatdown earlier. Bagwell vs. Benoit to start. This should be a massacre and very fun. This is for five minutes remember. Tony brings up a great point: is there NO ONE else in WCW that could be out there? They waste like thirty seconds before Bagwell slaps Benoit. This is young and violent Benoit so how do you think this is going to go for Bagwell?

All Benoit here since Bagwell kind of, uh, sucks. Swan Dive misses so Bagwell unleashes his variety of stomps and sends Benoit into the cage. Bagwell is really weak on offense here. Surprisingly enough they haven’t messed with the clock yet. They’ve stayed in the same ring here for the most part. Bagwell backdrops him into the cage and yells at Flair a bit. Shockingly enough: the NWO wins the toss. Literally, no face team EVER won a coin toss in WCW. Ever. Not even once.

Benoit takes over with about 20 seconds to go and it’s Konnan to give them the 2-1 advantage. Benoit seems to like the idea of being in trouble and beats them both up. This lasts two minutes remember. Somehow being down 2-1 makes Benoit do better for a minute or so until the numbers finally catch up to him. Mongo, US Champion at the time, comes in and beats up everyone.

Benoit is perfectly fine. I mean they’ve only beaten on him for seven minutes so far so do you really expect him to be beaten already? The Horsemen dominate for most of the 2-2 period and it’s Syxx in next. And that results badly for him as he gets destroyed by Benoit. Total star making performance by him so far. Crossface to Syxx who taps but it doesn’t matter yet.

The NWO finally fights back about halfway through this period. With 40 seconds left here’s Hennig with his arm in a sling. Oh just have him wearing the NWO shirt already. Flair comes in and cleans house. Nash comes in after the Horsemen dominate for a good while. He dominates the entire team and Bagwell couldn’t be happier. HUGE We Want Sting chant goes up but you all know the ending already don’t you? If not, GO READ A FREAKING BOOK PEOPLE.

The Horsemen take over again before the period ends and here’s Hennig. Flair has Syxx in the Figure Four and there goes the sling on Hennig. He pulls out handcuffs and yep there it is. Seriously, did ANYONE buy that he wasn’t turning here? Tony of course calls it this huge charade and no one but him agrees.

Benoit is cuffed to the cage as is Mongo. Again, IS THERE NO ONE ELSE IN ALL OF WCW??? Flair is destroyed and a referee brings a microphone into the ring. Nash offers the Horsemen the chance to surrender and they all say no. After a long beatdown they give Mongo the chance to surrender to save Flair from having the door slammed on his head. Mongo gives in and they slam the door anyway. This would results in a huge blood feud between Hennig and Flair and Tony walking off the show the next night. The sight of Flair writhing in pain and holding his head ends the show.

Rating: C. Not the strongest WarGames to say the least, namely due to the Horsemen never being in trouble at all for the most part and the really stupid ending. That being said, WarGames is in itself inherently cool and this is no exception. Benoit looked AWESOME in there but of course he would never go anywhere in WCW until he was about to leave. Definitely not the best WarGames, but the Benoit dominance was a cool visual.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a weird show. It’s not bad and the long matches were nice to see. They weren’t all particularly good matches or PPV quality but there were no stupid 2 minute PPV matches which helps a lot. Pretty good show overall but definitely not their best. That being said, 1998 would be the beginning of the end so it was nice to see a long show like this one more time before they fell apart.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #103
Date: September 1, 1997
Location: Pensacola Civic Center, Pensacola, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schivaone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko

We’re two weeks from Fall Brawl which has barely been touched on so far. The show wound up being pretty lame if I remember right but that goes without saying for a lot of these WCW PPVs. The main event tonight is a rematch from Clash of the Champions with Hall/Savage vs. Luger/Page. Let’s get to it.

This is the two year anniversary. Ok then.

We open with a video package on the career of Arn Anderson. That’s very cool and he still doesn’t get the recognition he deserves.

We also recap Hennig getting Arn’s spot on the team last week.

Eddie Guerrero/Jeff Jarrett vs. Steve McMichael/Chris Benoit

Like a true man from Memphis, Jarrett stalls on the floor before we get going. Benoit and Guerrero start things off and it’s a feeling out process. Considering how often they’ve fought, you wouldn’t think they would need to feel each other out. Eddie pounds him into the corner and does that spinning boot onto Benoit’s eyes move of his. Jarrett comes in and gets chopped down as we take a break.

Back with Guerrero doing pushups to annoy Benoit. So he’s Scott Steiner now? Jeff comes in again for a dropkick onto Chris before it’s back to Eddie. Chris gets a fast two off a rollup but gets caught by Jarrett in the running crotch attack while in 619 position. Benoit chops Jeff down and Mongo adds a clothesline to a BIG pop. Eddie comes back in with a clothesline to Benoit but Mongo breaks up the Frog Splash.

The Canadian hits a fast superplex to put both guys down and the hot tag brings in Mongo to clean house on both heels. Everything breaks down and Eddie trips Benoit up, allowing Jarrett to chop block McMichael. Jeff puts on the Figure Four and Eddie goes up for the Frog Splash, only to have Dean Malenko come in, shove Eddie off the top, and frog splash Jeff to break up the hold. Mongo gets the easy pin.

Rating: C+. Basic tag match here which went fine. I don’t know why it took so long for Dean to get involved with the Horsemen as he’s pretty close to a natural fit for them. Jarrett wasn’t long for WCW as he would have his last televised match in the company in the first week of October. Pretty decent opener here though and it advanced the story, even though I’m not sure they knew what that story was anymore.

Luger congratulates Arn on his career. I’d expect a lot of these testimonial kind of things tonight.

Here are Hall, Savage and Liz to the announce desk. Hall steals the mic from Larry and says Happy Labor Day. He talks about doing it for the little man and says the NWO is the real draw instead of WCW. Come on dude don’t rub it in that much. Hall brags about the NWO’s disrespect of authority to Larry who doesn’t have a great comeback. Savage challenges Page and Luger to a rematch that was already talked about earlier and that’s about it.

Silver King vs. Mortis

Mortis pounds away to start but King flips over him ala Daniel Bryan and kicks Mortis’ face off. Well his mask off but you get the idea. A mini springboard kick to Mortis’ gets another two as you may be noticing a pattern emerging here. Vandenberg finally realizes Mortis is losing to freaking Silver King and trips him up to let Mortis take over.

A guillotine legdrop gets two for the masked (Mortis if you’re not clear on that) dude before hooking an abdominal stretch for a few moments. King hits a quick backdrop and a paid of dropkicks to send Mortis outside for a plancha to take him down again. Back in they go and King’s run ends via a Russian legsweep. The Flatliner (middle rope Samoan Drop) gets the pin in an abrupt ending.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but at the end of the day how interested can you get in Silver King vs. Mortis? That’s one of the things you did get on Nitro: matches between guys you would never think to put together that wound up being decent. They have these guys under contract, so why not throw them out there for five minutes and see what they can do?

Vandenberg wants the Faces of Fear to come out here, only to have his boys cleaned out by the monsters.

Time for some dancing chicks.

We recap Bischoff getting beaten up by Sting last week.

Yuji Nagata vs. Dean Malenko

Bah it’s Nagata. I never cared for this guy and he never was anything interesting in WCW. They fight for control to start until Dean takes him down to the mat and cranks on the arm a bit. Both guys try for the others’ leg with Yuji settling for the ankle. Dean is all like “oh you did not just try a mat hold on me” and puts on a freaky leg lock that only lasts a few seconds until Yuji gets a rope. Dean hits his leg lariat for one and we hit the chinlock.

Nagata fights up quickly and counters a whip into the corner with a boot to the face. We get the dragon screw leg whip which is getting more and more common in WCW at this point. They fight for the submissions on the mat again with Dean trying for a cross armbreaker that doesn’t last long due to those pesky ropes. Dean suplexes Nagata down for two and Nagata gets the same off a backdrop. Cue Jarrett for revenge from earlier (shouldn’t this be Eddie?). Debra distracts the referee, allowing Jeff to nail Malenko to give Nagata the win.

Rating: C+. This was one of the more entertaining matches I’ve ever seen from Nagata, although that may have been due to Malenko being able to do no wrong in 1997. The match was very technical, which shows another strength of Nitro: this is the third match of the night and we’ve had a tag match, a high flying match and a technical match. That gives a lot of fan bases something to care about and that’s a great idea.

The Girls dance some more.

La Parka vs. Ultimo Dragon

This is part of Sonny Onoo’s war with the Ultimo Dragon. La Parka pounds away to start and chops Dragon down. Ultimo is fine with that though, coming back with a nip up and an armdrag before sending Parka through the ropes and out to the floor. We head to the floor where Dragon’s handspring elbow misses La Parka but hits the barricade. Dragon tries to suplex Onoo on the floor but gets taken out by a nice suicide dive.

The fans chant for Dragon to mess with la Parka’s mind so he puts Ultimo in the Tree of Woe. A hard kick to Dragon’s chest keeps him down but he fires (see what I did there?) off a clothesline for one and it’s time for some martial arts. La Parka gets two off a powerslam but Dragon escapes a backdrop and fires off the kicks. A bridging fallaway slam (not a move you often see) gets two for Dragon so Sonny distracts the referee. Parka gets a chair but walks into kind of a Van Daminator from Dragon for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here although the ending was kind of stupid. The referee sees a chair laying next to the guys, La Parka is out cold, and presumably he would have heard the chair cracking off La Parka’s head, and he’s perfectly ok with that? Eh that’s one of the things you have to deal with in wrestling I guess. Dragon’s feud with Sonny would eventually move onto Nagata as Sonny’s enforcer I believe.

Sonny fires off a kick to Dragon and gets slammed as a result. Dragon puts him in the Dragon Sleeper but has to run from La Parka’s chair.

Buff Bagwell vs. Glacier

Now here’s an interesting match. I didn’t say good mind you but it’s definitely not a pairing I would have put together. Buff of course is obnoxious and makes fun of Glacier’s karate stuff. Ok to be fair it’s Glacier so it’s hard not to make fun of him. They trade armdrags and Buff pulls his eyes back like an Asian person. Ok then. Glacier can’t get in a shot as Buff is ducking around like a boxer. I don’t think a boxer often leapfrogs people but you get the idea.

Buff makes fun of Glacier some more and gets kicked in the head, ribs and chest for his efforts so far. After Bagwell chills (man I’m nailing these unfunny puns tonight) on the floor for a bit he comes back in to get kicked a few more times before Glacier hits a legsweep to take him down. A few shots by Buff slow Glacier down but Vincent actually doing something by tripping Glacier up puts him on the mat. Glacier, ever the schmuck, yells at Vincent instead of focusing on Buff and gets clotheslined in the back of the head for his troubles.

A back elbow to the face gets two for Buff and it’s time to pose. To be fair, Buff is really only good for a Blockbuster and posing so you can’t fault him for going to one of his pair of moves. I don’t think he had the Blockbuster yet anyway. Bagwell charges into a boot in the corner before Glacier unleashes the PALM STRIKES.

A hard kick to Bagwell face drops him but Glacier goes up and misses what I think was supposed to be a splash. Vincent gets kicked in the face as does Bagwell, but Glacier takes him to the top for no apparent reason. Vincent finally does his job again and holds Buff’s foot, sending Glacier to the mat. Blockbuster hits and we’re done.

Rating: D+. Not the best pairing in the world here but they gave me some decent joke material so I’ll forgive it. Either way, Glacier was clearly outliving his limited usefulness at this point while Buff continues to be at the top of the NWO C list. The fact that such a thing exists says a lot about where the team has gone in 13 months.

Larry Z thanks Arn for his career. They were world tag team champions back in the early 90s.

Piper is back at Halloween Havoc.

Lizmark Jr. vs. Villano IV

I’m sure their dads fought at some point. They pound on each other to start but Lizmark dropkicks him to the floor and hits a big over the top dive. Tenay talks about Lizmark and his dad being cliff divers from Acapulco. I don’t know if all this stuff he says is true or not, but man alive does it make matches more interesting. Back in and Villano takes him down with a clothesline and hits a backsplash as Raven is in the audience.

A DDT puts Lizmark down and Villano drops a knee only to get taken down by a spinwheel kick for two. A standing rana gets two more for Lizmark and the seem to mess something up in the corner as Lizmark tries a running dropkick but Villano puts his feet up. Lizmark sends him to the outside and hits a big dive to the floor, only to see Villano IV change with Villano V. Not that it matters as Lizmark hits a standing Lionsault for the pin out of almos nowhere.

Rating: C+. Is this Cruiserweight night or something? This is the third match with a luchador in it out of six matches we’ve had so far. This was entertaining stuff though as Lizmark is a pretty good diver (from Acapulco. Thanks Mike!). The Villanos were fine for a lower card heel gimmick and the match worked pretty well despite how short it was.

Luger says he and Page can get along and asks Page to come out and bury the hatchet. Page is nowhere to be seen so Luger shrugs.

Remember earlier when the Nitro Girls danced? They do that again here, until Disco Inferno comes out to join them. Alex Wright comes out for his match and a dance off breaks out with Inferno.

TV Title: Hugh Morrus vs. Alex Wright

Wright tries to use some speed stuff to avoid Morrus before punching his way out of the corner like a jerk. Hugh charges right back at him and pounds the champion (Wright in case that was missing) in the corner. Wright bails to the floor for a bit before coming back to run a bit more. He gets Morrus to chase him and when your name is Hugh Morrus, it’s pretty clear you’re not that bright. Alex gets in some shots to take Hugh down and works on the knee, wrapping it around the post in the process.

Morrus goes to the floor and hits a clothesline from one leg but gets taken right back down inside. Wright stays on the leg but goes up and gets slammed down. Hugh’s leg is suddenly fine enough to run back and forth to splash Wright in the corners, although he does limp a bit after each one. Disco is at ringside again as Hugh slams Wright down. Disco is pulled in and beaten up but walks into a spinwheel kick for the pin (with feet on the ropes) to retain the title.

Rating: C-. This was going well until Wright got slammed off the top. I get that Morrus is a power guy, but the lack of selling was stupid. Selling does not mean doing all of your moves and then limping a bit. Selling means you CAN’T DO THE MOVES PROPERLY because of your injury. The match didn’t work at that point, and it didn’t do either guy any favors.

Raven is still here.

Heenan spends most of the ten seconds he has to thank Arn for his career complaining that he only has ten seconds.

Video on Sting.

Damien vs. Stevie Richards

As Damien comes to the ring, Raven grabs him for a DDT on the concrete. He throws Damien in to Stevie who didn’t notice what Raven did. Stevie of course performs CPR until Raven smacks him upside the head, making Richards cover him for the pin.

Here’s Gene for an interview with Big Bubba of all people. Bubba says he’s tired of wearing different costumes and his name is Ray Traylor. He got beaten up when he was in the NWO but they never came to check on him. Bischoff sent him a letter throwing him out of the group and that’s it. Now, he wants to take the NWO out. Makes as much sense as any other reason.

Prince Iaukea vs. Ray Traylor

Traylor pounds on him to start (GOOD MAN!) and sends him to the outside after no selling a dropkick. Ray sits on a sunset flip attempt and hits a big boot to send the Prince’s head back to whatever island he’s a prince of. Prince manages to block a powerbomb but walks into the Boss Man Slam to end the squash.

JJ thanks Arn for being awesome.

Gene calls out the Horsemen but instead he gets the NWO. It’s time for a parody! Syxx is Flair and Konnan is Mongo. Syxx has a big fake nose and a bad blonde wig while saying WOO a lot. He calls Flair down to the ring as Tony thinks he’ll be sick. I think the same thing every time you call a show Schiavone. Bagwell is playing Hennig here. Flair talks to Hennig about joining the Horsemen (WOO!). Bagwell keeps chewing the gum and says spot a lot. Flair brings out Anderson (as played by Kevin Nash) who has a bald wig, a neck brace and a cooler. Oh and he’s fat.

Anderson makes fun of himself for being fat and says he feels like he’s in labor here on Labor Day. He talks about how he has average size, speed, quickness, looks, intelligence and carpentry skills but he parlayed that into a wrestling career. Then he hurt his neck and lost the strength in his beer opening hand. A few weeks later he went to a bar and a fat broad slapped him on the back and it woke him up. He looked at the longneck he was drinking from and it was like sand going through an hourglass…..and so are the days of our lives.

Anderson makes fun of himself for being a drunk who would give as much as he could every night he was in the ring. Now he wants the fans to remember him as he is now, not as he was. This brings him to Hennig. All he has left to offer Curt is a spot. Not a liver spot or a dog named Spot, but his spot. Hennig agrees and that’s that. Tony acts like we just saw the Kennedy assassination or something.

This segment apparently was controversial and offended the Horsemen badly. At the end of the day….the NWO are heels. What do you expect them to do? Write Anderson a card and get him a plaque? Yeah the Horsemen probably should have been allowed to run in or something, but this really isn’t as big of a deal as I’ve heard it made out to be.

Given how ridiculous some of Flair’s promos were back in the day and how ridiculous Flair would get, I find it hard to feel bad about this. You can’t be a group on top for so long and not expect to be made fun of once in awhile. If you don’t like it I can totally understand that, but to nearly quit over it as I’ve heard Flair and Anderson wanted to do is a bit much.

Cruiserweight Title: Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Jericho

Eddie comes out before the match to yell at Chavo (who is challenging). He says he’s failed to make Chavo a man, causing Chavo to yell a bit. This draws out Scotty Riggs, Damien, Prince Iaukea and Kidman for no apparent reason. A brawl breaks out and here comes the Villanos. Dragon and Wright are out now. They all get in the ring and throw each other out like a battle royal until only Jericho is left. Eddie blasts him with the belt and hits a frog splash and that’s it.

Giant thanks Anderson.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to respond to Sting. We still have the main event to go even though this show has felt like it’s been on for nine hours or so now. Eric says that Hogan has driven Sting to the rafters and Hulk suggests Sting get into dry cleaning because he won’t be in the ring anytime soon. Hogan says he wants Sting and calls him down to the ring (and calls him a jabroni in the process). Instead Hulk calls out JJ Dillon and demands that JJ produce Sting. Since there’s no Sting, Hogan beats up JJ instead. Tony walks off set, instantly making this segment better. Dillon gets the spraypaint. Tony is already back.

Randy Savage/Scott Hall vs. Lex Luger/Diamond Dallas Page

Tony of course whines about how hard is job is and dear goodness are we supposed to care? JJ has been treated like a goon since he got here so why are we supposed to be all depressed about this? Luger and Page are in different corners due to not trusting each other until it’s Page vs. Hall to start. They slug it out in the corner with DDP taking over. Off to Savage and you know Page is cool with that.

We take our second break in about five minutes (first was during the NWO’s entrance) and come back to see Hall holding Page in an armbar. Apparently Page hasn’t even tried to tag in Luger yet. Savage takes Page down before it’s back to Scott for the fallaway slam. We hit the chinlock from Savage followed by a double ax from the top for two.

The announcers are sounding like they all just saw their puppies drowned. Page finally hits a discus lariat to drop Hall but Savage distracts the referee from seeing the hot tag. Luger comes in anyway to beat on the NWO with atomic drops all around. Lex accidentally decks Page with the forearm but Racks Savage anyway. There was no tag though so Hall makes the legal pin on Page.

Rating: C-. Just angle advancement for WarGames here but DANG was that commentary annoying. “WE NEED TO WORK TOGETHER!” Yes Tony, we know this because you’ve been saying it FOR THIRTEEN FREAKING MONTHS ALREADY! LEARN A NEW TRICK YOU STUPID PARROT HEADED MAN! The match told a decent story but at this point it’s really hard to care as I just want this show to end.

Luger is frustrated with Page to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. I’m glad I’m laying down as I watch this or I would have collapsed a few times during the show. SWEET GOODNESS did this feel long. It’s one of those episodes that juts keeps going with almost nothing being done at all. This show had ten matches and two LONG talking segments, which is too much for a two hour program. The announcers are reaching the levels of annoying that they’re famous for, as it’s constantly “we’re doomed!” and “please pull together WCW!” Yes, we get it: the NWO is dominating right now. TELL US SOMETHING NEW! Really bad show this week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #99
Date: August 4, 1997
Location: Palace of Auburn Hills, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Heenan

This is an interesting episode as I’ve seen says this is the 100^th episode, but I’ve counted each one I’ve done and can only come up with 99. I haven’t missed any shows and there are only 99 counting this one so far. Two weeks in 1996 had no show at all so maybe they’re counting one of those to get to 100. Either way, the main event tonight is Luger vs. Hogan for the title, five days before their PPV title match. That clearly won’t go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

Oh and this is a three hour show.

Buffer welcomes us to this special show. This whole 99 or 100 thing is going to bother me but the best I can figure out is that WCW is just lying.

After the Nitro Girls dance a bit, here are Hogan and Bischoff with something to say. Hogan runs down Luger and says that he’s going to have “500,000 of his friends” watching on Saturday. It was about 1% of that but what difference does it match? Anyway, Hogan doesn’t like having to defend tonight, but Luger is going to pay for the mistake tonight. Hogan says something about defending against Scott Hall instead but it didn’t make much sense.

Curt Hennig vs. Mortis

Feeling out process to start until Hennig takes Mortis down with a knee lift. Curt goes after Vandenberg though and the masked dude takes over. Mortis misses an elbow and there’s the Hennig neck snap. Mortis comes back with a spinwheel kick for two but Hennig goes after the knee. PerfectPlex ends this pretty quick.

Rating: C-. I don’t like matches like this one as it’s hard to rate due to how fast it was. A lot of it was them walking around, but it was so short that it was still decent. This is what WCW’s massive roster helps with: they have have a guy like Mortis lose, but he can go and beat up other people and get his spot back. Also since there’s no shame to losing to Hennig, everything is ok for him. Why WWE doesn’t use their roster like this is beyond me.

Video on Sting not talking for the last year or so.

Dean Malenko/Jeff Jarrett vs. Hector Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

Malenko and Chavo start things off and we hit the mat very quickly. That doesn’t last long so they run the ropes a bit until Dean gets taken down by a pair of dropkicks. Hector comes in to face Jeff and we have a strut vs. dance battle. A headscissors puts Jarrett down and frustrates him so he pounds away a bit. Hector makes a brief comeback but stops to jaw with Dean, letting Jeff take over again.

There’s the running crotch attack to a 619’d Hector (I’m still looking for a better name for that) before it’s back to Malenko. Make that back to Jeff again and Hector gets two off a backslide. Chavo breaks up the Figure Four and Dean is rolled up for two. Hector won’t tag and is caught in an electric chair. Dean hooks the Cloverleaf and we’re done.

Rating: C. The idea here was that Hector wouldn’t tag, presumably due to stubbornness, but it doesn’t make Jeff any more interesting. The guy is just flat out not interesting no matter how you try to push or package him. Malenko was fine but he needs to get away from this stupid tag team thing.

Raven still won’t talk so here’s Stevie Richards instead. Richards has a contract for Raven but there’s a snag. He’s been in Atlanta renegotiating for Raven and everything seems to be cool now. Raven looks at the contract, spits at Richards and decks him. He pulls back to punch Richards again, but Stevie blocks it and says no more.

Giant vs. Joey Maggs/Lenny Lane/Scott D’Amore

Chokeslam, chokeslam, chokeslam, about 90 seconds, interview time.

Savage pops up on the stage and says bring it before running from a fast walking Giant.

We recap the roll Lex Luger is on. Basically it’s a Luger highlight video.

High Voltage vs. Public Enemy

Kaos vs. Grunge to start and Johnny wants to dance. A swinging neckbreaker puts Kaos down as does a clothesline before it’s off to Rocco. Rage interferes but Kaos takes the time to pose instead of following up. Larry: “HE’S WASTING TIME!” Remember, this is LARRY ZBYSZKO complaining about stalling. High Voltage is coming off as the heel team here and it doesn’t suit them that well.

Rage comes in and pounds away on Rocco a bit more but jumps off the top into Rocco’s boot. My goodness how I hate that spot. Grunge comes in and beats up both guys as everything breaks down. The Public Enemy loads up the table but Rage moves, sending Rocco crashing through the wood. Not that it matters as Rage runs into Kaos and is rolled up by Grunge for the pin.

Rating: D+. As lame as the match was, there was an actual story being told out there. The idea was that High Voltage didn’t have the experience to hang with the Public Enemy and the veterans used that to their advantage. This is probably the last match I would have expected something like that from but points to these guys for putting it in there.

Alex Wright cuts in on the Nitro Girls dancing. The Girls leave and Alex talks some trash about Jericho, who he faces on Saturday.

Scotty Riggs vs. Alex Wright

Non-title here. Wright sends Scotty to the floor almost immediately and hits a double ax off the apron. A suplex on the floor keeps Riggs down but he sends Wright into the barricade to get himself a breather. Back in and Alex takes over again before dancing a bit. They both hit cross bodies with Scotty falling on top for two. They head up top and Alex headbutts him down before hitting a missile dropkick for the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here to set up the title match at Road Wild. Wright using the dropkick was a nice touch as that’s one of Jericho’s finishing moves. Not much of a match here, but then again Riggs wasn’t much of a wrestler. At least he stopped using the American Males theme.

Hour #2 starts.

Here’s Luger to talk to Gene. Lex says that he was only focused on Saturday but now his focus has shifted to tonight. It’s his defining moment and tonight, he’s going to make history. Standard promo here but it did exactly what it needed to do. It’s such a simple science but no one can pull it off anymore.

Chris Benoit vs. Syxx

Syxx starts with that headlock of his but Benoit quickly elbows him down. A spinwheel kick puts Benoit down but Chris immediately legdraps Syxx out to the floor. There’s a suicide dive to take the NWO dude out. Back in and Benoit goes up, only to get caught in the Tree of Woe. Syxx hits a Bronco Buster to an upside down Benoit in a move I’ve never seen before. A top rope flipping legdrop misses Benoit though and Chris suplexes him down for two. Benoit loads up a belly to back superplex but here’s Jarrett to attack Benoit for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was a nice fast paced match that had to be brought down by a stupid ending. This was done to further the tag match on Sunday which at least had a purpose. Not much to see here but Benoit was fast paced as usual and Syxx continues to be much better against smaller guys. Not bad at all here.

More dancing.

Booker T vs. Vincent

Nothing match as Booker beats up Vincent and side kicks him for the pin in maybe 45 seconds.

DDP talks about his match with Flair tonight, saying that while he and Flair have common enemies, Flair has his respect, but he has Flair’s number. I like that line.

Wrath vs. Barbarian

Now here’s an odd match. Barbarian knocks him back into the corner but gets clotheslined down for two. Wrath takes him down but can’t hit the Death Penalty (two arm Rock Bottom) as we head to the floor. Barbarian sends him into various metal objects before we head back inside. Back in and Barbarian goes up but jumps into the Death Penalty for the pin. Too short to rate but it wasn’t very good.

Meng comes out to stare down Wrath. Wrath bails.

The hometown Steiners come out and introduce Ted DiBiase as their surprise new manager. DiBiase was one of the original members of the NWO so this is a big deal. He starts off by saying that he’s seen the error of his ways before almost saying the World Wrestling Federation tag titles were on the line on Saturday. Cue the Outsiders to laugh this off and say that DiBiase is a dead man.

More dancing.

Lee Marshall does his thing.

Konnan vs. Psychosis

Konnan pounds him down to start before nearly clotheslining a horn off. A low dropkick hits the masked man and Konnan sends him to the apron. Psychosis comes back in with a top rope spinwheel kick for two. That’s about the extent of his offense as Konnan hits the 187 and Tequila Sunrise for the fast tap.

Rey, still on crutches, comes out to confront Konnan post match. Konnan kicks the crutches away but Rey is faking it and breaks a crutch over Konnan’s back.

Glacier/Ernest Miller vs. Damien/Silver King

King and Glacier get us going and the kicking begins. Glacier cranks on the arm a bit but King kicks out of it pretty quickly. Damien trips up Glacier but the ice enthusiast kicks Silver down anyway. Off to Miller but the luchadores pound him down pretty quickly. Miller comes back with a bunch of kicks and here’s Glacier again. A backdrop gets two on Damien but Glacier is double teamed a bit. Uninterested tag brings in Miller who uses his karate stuff, finishing Damien with a spinning kick off the top.

Rating: D. At the end of the day, Miller was so unbelievably boring in this role and it took a long time to get him to a level where anyone cared about him. Silver King and Damien actually got a win or two so they were only somewhat jobbers to the stars. Not much to see here though.

Here’s Bischoff with something to say. He’s here to complain about the attack by the Giant from last week and calls out JJ Dillon. The alleged boss of WCW comes out and Eric yells a lot, threatening legal actions against the Giant and violence against Larry Z. If there was a point to this getting six minutes of TV time, I have no idea what it was.

Hour #3 begins and the Nitro Girls dance on the announce table.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ric Flair

Hennig comes out and shakes Flair’s hand to mess with Page’s mind. Page runs Flair down and slaps him in the face to tick him off. Hennig went to the back already so this is one on one. Page pounds away in the corner and Ric is in trouble early. Flair comes back with a poke to the eye but Page counters a backdrop attempt into a sweet sitout powerbomb for no cover. Hennig comes back out and we take a break.

Back with Flair in control and Page down in the corner. Page comes back with right hands and slams Flair off the top, but a Hennig distraction lets Flair get in a shot to the knee. There’s the knee drop and Flair is in Nature Boy mode. A quick Figure Four is broken up because Page is in the ropes.

Flair pounds away even more and tries to suplex Page over the top and out to the floor. DDP counters of course and puts Ric in the Figure Four instead. Flair pokes the referee in the eye, allowing Curt to come in. Page cradles him to slow him down, but it lets Flair escape the hold. There’s a Flair Flip in the corner and Ric goes up, only to dive into a clothesline. Page calls for the Cutter but Hennig comes in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. This was fine but they more or less had a big sign saying RUN-IN COMING. That’s fine though as you can’t have these guys losing five days before a PPV match. I mean, this is WCW, not some crazy company like WWE that has guys in prominent matches getting pinned on go home shows.

Page clears the ring post match.

Hector Garza/Lizmark Jr. vs. Villanos

This would be IV and V for you Villano enthusiasts. Garza and IV start things off and things speed up quickly. Hector moonsaults out of the corner and clotheslines IV down before hitting a superkick. Off to Lizmark for a dropkick but V comes in and ducks the same move. Some armdrags put V down but the Villanos double team Lizmark to take over. Back to Garza who gets caught in a double gutbuster.

We head to the floor where Garza is dropkicked into the barricade. That gets boring so it’s back inside where everything breaks down. Garza dives on I think IV before Lizmark and V go to the floor. IV is backdropped to the floor so Garza can hit the big corkscrew plancha. Back in and Lizmark dropkicks IV a few times, but the referee gets distracted and the switch from the brothers is enough for Lizmark to get rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it was nothing more than a bridge between the big stuff later on in the show. Garza had the making of a big star and was getting over pretty well in the earlier days of TNA before getting busted for steroid possession. The other three guys never amounted to anything in the States.

Here’s JJ to offer Sting a contract. Basically “we’re sorry we thought you were lying because we were too stupid to use common sense and tell that it wasn’t you the whole time. Maybe we should hit Turner up for vision insurance. Anyway, wanna fight Curt Hennig?” Sting lowers from the rafters and rips up the contract. See, this is something that actually deserved the six and a half minutes it got.

WCW World Title: Lex Luger vs. Hollywood Hogan

Dang man how long has it been since Hogan wrestled on Nitro? They trade hammerlocks to start and Hulk heads to the ropes. More feeling out until Hogan pounds away in the corner to take over. The fans are WAY into this here. Hogan keeps beating on him and drops a bunch of elbows. A clothesline in the corner has Lex in trouble and Hulk chokes away. Luger comes back and rams the champ into the buckle a few times to get himself a breather. Hollywood takes his head off with another clothesline and we take a break.

Back with Hogan still in control and hitting a suplex for two. A belly to back suplex puts Luger down again and a big right hand gets two. The big boot and legdrop hit for two and the pop is really weak for some reason. Another legdrop misses and it’s comeback time. Luger decks the Outsiders and Savage as they try to run in. The forearm takes Hogan down and there’s the Torture Rack to give us a new world champion.

Rating: B. The match itself was as by the book as you could get, but that’s exactly what it should have been. The rating is almost entirely for the moment, which is WAY better here than I remember it being. Hindsight would say it was obviously only going to last until the PPV, but still man this worked really well. I’m actually surprised at how much I liked this.

The locker room empties out for the celebration. The fans go NUTS too. Everyone goes to the back and we see Giant and Luger polishing the belt to get the NWO paint off as champagne is flowing everywhere.

Hogan loses his mind in the other locker room.

Overall Rating: B. This was supposed to be a special show, and I don’t often get to say this about WCW, but they absolutely nailed it. The wrestling here is ok at best, but they did a good job of setting up the PPV, they had a good start to the new part of the Sting angle, and the ending is actually excellent. I know it doesn’t mean anything in the long run, but at the time this was a cool moment. Good show here which almost shocks me.

Here’s Road Wild if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/23/road-wild-1997-you-can-see-the-problems-mounting-up-already/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

How in the world do I not have this up yet?

Bash at the Beach 1996
Date: July 7, 1996
Location: Ocean Center, Daytona Beach, Florida
Attendance: 8,300
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Dusty Rhodes

So this is it. This is the show where everything changed for WCW. There had been an invasion by Hall and Nash, who up to this point I don’t think had been named, and we had Sting, Luger and Savage joined together to fight them off. There’s also a mystery third man that no one knows yet.

That right there is what causes the whole change in wrestling. It launched WCW into the stratosphere and causes WWF to be about as sick as you can get without dying. The rest of the show is pretty much forgotten and with good reason. Let’s get to it.

If you’re looking for what I think about the beginning of the NWO, scroll down to the end of this and you’ll find it.

This is subtitles The Hostile Takeover. Yep it’s so hostile that they’re being given ring music, a match on the show and the main event spot on the PPV. I wonder if they got catering too.

There are security guards at the table with them. Ok then.

Rey Mysterio vs. Psychosis

Rey had debuted at the PPV the month before this. This should be awesome as they have all kinds of history together. Tenay replaces Bobby for this one. Rey is YOUNG here, only being 21 at this point. Rey starts off with a half crab. We hear about how popular these two are, talking about how the masks are sold in the streets. I always wanted a Kane mask. Finally they get tired of the leg locks and go all lucha on us.

And then they hit a chinlock. Sure why not. Psychosis hits the guillotine legdrop that would be his finisher later but it’s just two here. You know for a match with these guys, this is pretty freaking boring. Rey finally starts throwing some ranas to make things interesting. West Coast Pop gets two. And let’s talk about the main event. Heenan is here too actually.

We hit the floor and Psychosis hits a perfect senton to the floor on Mysterio. It’s a back splash, not the Hardy move. This referee is really annoying. He has a hitch in his count just like that Armstrong referee that got released a few months ago. So after almost ten minutes they realize they’re Rey Mysterio and Psychosis and just go the heck off with high spots.

Psychosis goes for Splash Mountain (Razor’s Edge into a sitout powerbomb from the top) but Rey shoves off in mid air and hooks him into a hurricanrana for the pin. That’s still one of my all time favorite endings to a match. Mysterio would win the Cruiserweight Title the next night on Nitro.

Rating: B+. This started VERY slow but once they realized the crowd was only halfway into it, they cranked it WAY up and it turned into nothing but awesome high spots. See, this is a FAR different Rey than you’re used to today. This is when he was the best cruiserweight ever. He was pulling off stuff that is just flat out insane.

Then he destroyed both of his knees and slowed way down to where he was like 3rd best in the world. Either way, he’s amazing at this time and had some of the most jaw dropping spots ever. Also keep in mind: this is the very beginning of this division. Today it’s common to see this all over the place in America, but it had only debuted in mainstream wrestling less than a year ago at this point, so this was mind blowing stuff. Great opener and the crowd is white hot now.

Konnan says he’ll keep the title. When asked what happened to end the match, he says Psychosis had him up for a top rope Splash Mountain but Rey reversed into a top rope Frankensteiner. YOU CAN’T BUY THIS KIND OF ANALYSIS PEOPLE!

Apparently you can and it’s called Mike Tenay. Got it.

John Tenta vs. Big Bubba

This is a Carson City Silver Dollars Match. In other words, there’s a sock full of silver dollars on a pole and either Big Boss Man or Earthquake has to climb it. Keep in mind that Eddie Guerrero vs. Regal and Steiners vs. Harlem Heat for the tag titles took place on the Main Event, which was the TV show that aired before this. Who in their right mind thought this was a good idea? Oh that’s right: they’re Hogan’s buddies.

Bubba shaved half of Tenta’s hair and half of his mustache, making him look even stupider. Is there a point to the bag of silver? Not at all, but why let that stop them? Tenta finally wakes up and tries to take the pole down. Keep in mind that you win by pinfall so the pole isn’t even needed. Then again why would logic make sense here? Earthquake gets tied to the ropes with athletic tape. Only one arm though.

Who in the name of hollandaise sauce thought this was a good idea? Boss Man comes over with some scissors to cut the rest of his hair but Quake uses them to cut the tape. Ok that’s smart at least. We get our first intelligent thing of the night as Bubba tells Jimmy Hart to climb the pole. Tenta gets them and nails Bubba in the jaw with the silver dollars for the pin. THIS GOT NINE MINUTES.

Was this supposed to be a joke that went bad? Again, Harlem Heat vs. the Steiners for the TAG TEAM TITLES didn’t go on PPV, but this did. WOW. Oh and I forgot to mention: THIS IS THE TALLEST POLE EVER. Tenta is 6’7 and wasn’t even half as tall as that thing. Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA??? He pours the silver dollars on Bubba afterwards. So not only did he beat him up, but he pays him for it? Is this some kind of weird fetish?

Rating: S. As in SERIOUSLY? This makes the PPV and gets almost ten minutes? I get that Hogan was running things, but this is ridiculous to put it mildly. The match was boring and the whole cutting the straps on the pole went nowhere. This was just freaking bad all around.

The announcers talk for a bit and Tony has a lei on. The others talk about how important this is and Tony looks like an idiot. Bobby says he’s been asking people not involved in wrestling if they know who the third man is. He’s surprised that they didn’t know. Do I even need to make fun of this?

Team WCW says they’re ready for the Outsiders and don’t care who the third man is. They all have their faces painted like Sting. Oh and Luger is full face now, which at least makes sense for this.

Lord of the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Duggan

This is a taped fist match for the stupid ring that DDP won last month that is now worthless since his title shot was revoked. So apparently in this you can tape your fists more than you usually can? I hate WCW. I truly do hate it at times, but at least it improves for a bit after this. The fans chant USA, even though both guys are Americans. That always made my head hurt.

I’d love to see someone that Duggan was fighting get fired up more than he did because of the chants and shout about how they’re MORE American than Duggan. Apparently 10,000 people were turned away. Maybe it would be better if they got an arena that held 10,000 people in the first place. Duggan has his feet taped together around the post. Again, is there some kind of tape fetish in this company? And he just gets out through some unseen method.

Again, Guerrrero vs. Regal and Heat vs. Steiners. Just thought I’d remind you of that. Page uses the ropes to avoid a suplex and Tony gets on him for it. Why? It’s a legal move. Everybody is shocked that Duggan can manage to take control without tape on his fists. Thanks for the vote of confidence in Duggan. After being on the floor for 8 seconds, Duggan slides Page in and walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Duggan throws some tape on his fist and knocks Page out anyway. Another waste of time.

Rating: D-. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS? For the life of me I can’t think of one. Either way, the match was terrible and I still fail to see the point in it. Just a waste of five minutes or so.

Giant and Taskmaster say they’re not worried about the Horsemen. Giant is still world champion here.

Lee Marshall talks to Benoit and Anderson who get the aforementioned heels later tonight. Arn of course cuts a decent promo.

Public Enemy vs. Nasty Boys

It’s a tag team dog collar match with a former ECW team. Pay no attention to the Stevie Richards/Raven vs. Pit Bulls dog collar match less than a year before this in ECW. WCW never stole anything from ECW at all. Not a thing. Have you noticed a significant lack of young talent on this card other than the openers or DDP? Bischoff is missing if that means anything at all. Sags and Rock are attached and Knobs and Grunge are attached.

We almost immediately go split screen which has the ocean behind it and only half of the screen is covered by the split screen due to the MASSIVE BATB logo on the top of the screen. Brilliant. A trash can full of trash is brought in. Sure why not. We go up to the beach set and Johnny Grunge gets knocked down and is in pain. He was beaten by an inflatable pink shark. Somehow this has stopped being absurd. That’s a new one on me.

They fight for about five minutes on the beach. This is entertaining at least. I know I don’t say that often but this is one of those matches that reaches the point of insanity that makes it amusing. The announcers not taking it seriously at all helps a lot too. We get a table brought in. Keep that in mind. Rock gets piledriven on the floor and there’s no cover. Knobs hits a GREAT trash can shot on Grunge.

There goes the first table. We’re back in the ring now with another table. Now this one noticeably looks different than your modern Dudley tables. Sags is on the table and Rock goes up. He gets pulled into a front flip and bounces off the table. Remember that Rock weighs about 300lbs. Sags goes up and drops an elbow onto Rock onto the table. It STILL doesn’t break.

Rock comes unhooked from the chain when he’s whipped into the chain of Knobs and Grunge and it clotheslines him. That’s also enough for the pin. Rock knocks Sags from the apron to FINALLY break the real table. Most tables are precut and weakened to make going through them easier. This one wasn’t apparently.

Rating: C+. Not bad actually. They woke up and realized that there’s no point in trying to have these two teams have a coherent match. This was just pure insane fun and it actually worked pretty well. The shark was funny if nothing else. The commentary helped too as they just had fun with it like they were supposed to. Fun match.

Gene is in front of the Outsiders’ locker room. He doesn’t go try to talk to them or anything, but he’s in front of it. Love that hard hitting reporting!

Cruiserweight Title: Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko

I hate to say it, but that song is catchy. He says everyone is here to see him dance and once he wins the title he’ll dance. The guy had charisma and energy. You can’t take that away from him. And let’s talk about the main event more. Ok to be fair, this was a huge match for a change rather than the usual run of the mill main events so I can’t complain that much.

They talk about how awesome the cruiserweights are even though a lot of the really great ones aren’t there yet. This is all Malenko so far. Malenko’s in ring work is really underrated as far as the flying stuff goes. He actually was ranked as the best in the world in the PWI 500 in 97. I was surprised by that. Maybe six minutes in, Disco hits his first offense which is a punch. And now he just goes off in the longest string of offense he’s ever been on I think.

It lasts all of a minute. Heenan says pincovers. I thought only Taz used that term. Most odd. Disco hits his Stunner which was his finisher but checks his hair first. Dean starts busting out springboards of all things. He really could do just about all of it. Dean just goes off and hooks the Cloverleaf for the tap out. Malenko just going off like that made it work for me.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t bad, but the ending was never really in doubt. Inferno looked pretty decent if nothing else, but it’s not like it meant much as Rey would beat Dean the next night in the opener to win the title. Decent little filler match though.

Kimberly says nothing of note. She’s in a towel though so I can’t complain.

Joe Gomez vs. Steve McMichael

So Gomez is a career jobber and McMichael is in his PPV debut as a Horseman. Any bets on what happens here? Mongo is allegedly one of the meanest people Dusty has seen in the last 10-20 years. Wow. This is another of those matches where you know there’s no drama as to the winner. The crowd is DEAD. McMichael just isn’t that good yet. To be fair he never became any good but at least he has an excuse here.

Apparently this is his third match. That’s saying a lot. Gomez is called a rookie here despite having been wrestling over ten years at this point. This is just going on too long. That’s what this boils down to. This match is just too long. They’re making it look like he can’t finish anyone off. He should win this in like 2 minutes and we’re over five already. It makes him look inept rather than elite.

There’s your boring chant. Gomez starts his comeback and they botch the heck out of a sunset flip. Thankfully they realize that it’s going bad and just end it almost immediately. This would have been a success if they cut about 4 minutes out of it.

Rating: F. This was supposed to be a squash and Mongo was supposed to look dominant. Neither happened as Mongo looked like a BAD rookie that had no idea what he was doing. I get that he needs ring time, but he needs to get it in far shorter spurts. This can be blamed on the booking far more than the people in it though. Again, you cut four minutes out of this and it’s light years better.

Flair cuts a promo and forgets he’s fighting Konnan and says that he’s fighting a man with 1000 holds. Right. Gene gets hit on by Woman again which was something I never got at all.

US Title: Konnan vs. Ric Flair

It’s nice to see a guy like Flair going down to Konnan’s level. This is the kind of stuff you just flat out do not see in modern wrestling. Konnan looks…weird. They shill Nitro tomorrow. Once I get done with the PPVs, I might start doing some Nitros and Raws. Just not sure how many of them. We hear about Flair’s cardio which is in a word, unmatched. The Surfboard never stops looking totally awesome.

Konnan Hulks Up and we go to the floor. Konnan gets a running start off of the apron and takes down Flair and Liz at the same time. That’s just WRONG. With the referee distracted Woman kicks Konnan square in the balls. Even the fans cheer for it, I’m assuming out of sympathy. In case you forgot about it, let’s talk about the main event! Konnan makes ANOTHER comeback and Flair is in something resembling trouble.

This is a very different Konnan here as he looks like a guy that actually could win something. Flair gets put in the figure four which for some reason is surprising despite it happening in about every match he’s ever in. The rolling clothesline hits and you can tell we’re running out of time here.

Konnan hooks an abdominal stretch into a rollup for no count as Liz is with the referee. Lucky bastard. Woman pops Konnan with the shoe to the head and throws his feet on the ropes (completely unneeded but it’s what great heels do) to win his first US Title in over 15 years.

Rating: C+. Not bad but it never got me going on this one. Flair getting the belt gave it some legit credibility that it had been lacking recently after runs from One Man Gang and Sasake so this was a big deal. Konnan never was as important as he was here again though, but this was just an ok match. I don’t think anyone thought Flair would lose though.

Gene goes to the Outsiders locker room and there’s a third voice in there. He’s not sure who it was but he’s heard it before. Even knowing who this is, the drama is there man. They’re building this perfectly and I’m excited about this.

Chris Benoit/Arn Anderson vs. Taskmaster/The Giant

Ok so there are two things to keep in mind here. If the Horsemen win, a Horseman gets a shot at the Giant the following night for the title. The second thing is that no one can beat the Giant so they’re going to focus on Sullivan. They brawl in the aisle and Mongo runs out with the briefcase he had to nail Giant who chases Mongo to the back, making it a handicap match for a bit.

It means nothing as Giant is back in like 8 seconds. Ok then. Now Benoit and Sullivan were having a GREAT feud where most of it was shoot stuff as Benoit had (kayfabe) stolen Woman, who was in real life married to Sullivan. In real life, Benoit and Woman had an affair and in real life Woman left Sullivan for Benoit. So in other words, they legit hated each other and were in brutal fights with each other.

Sullivan gets to get beaten on forever as we realize that the match is over once Giant comes in. So he gets a tag (to a freaking POP) and the Horsemen run. Benoit and Sullivan fight up to the announce area as Giant beats Anderson up like a jobber and the chokeslam ends it in like a minute. Benoit dives off of the announcers’ stage to plow into Sullivan.

That could have been a top five ever feud if Sullivan hadn’t sucked so much. Benoit is just destroying him at this point until Woman comes out and yells at Chris to stop it. This never went anywhere because of the NWO. Benoit was just awesome back then, even moreso than he would become. Giant carries Sullivan off like a 6 pack which is kind of funny.

Rating: D+. This did its job and that’s it. There was nothing to the match but somehow it went eight minutes. This was just a filler to set up the next chapter in Benoit vs. Sullivan and to be fair it did that, but we’ll never know where it went after that.

And now the reason why this is the most important show in WCW’s history up to that point: the main event. Since this is legitimately one of the biggest matches ever, I’ll have a special section at the end talking about the NWO at this stage. I’ll save the latter stuff for when it happens, but this will focus on the beginning through about Uncensored 97 where Hogan vs. Sting became the clear end goal. So I’m not skipping this, but I’ll save it for the end so scroll down if that’s what you’re here for.

We recap the invasion and see Hall walking onto Nitro and making history back in May. Those two debuts were some of the biggest shockers I can ever remember. They both blew my mind and even me, perhaps the biggest WWF mark here, forgot Raw existed for a little bit. There’s no commentary of voiceover here.

It’s just clips and occasional audio with them. Not that it really matters but Hall and Nash cost Sting and Luger the tag belts. This whole thing comes down to one question: Who is the Third Man?

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savagevs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???

In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.

I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.

The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.

The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.

He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.

That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.

It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.

Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the tar out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.

That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.

The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is ticked off is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.

This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.

He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.

If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.

He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says Hogan can get out twice and we’re done.

Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked.

OverallRating: B+. Not even considering the main event, this is a very good show all around. There’s one bad match early on, but you completely forget about everything else by the main event. There’s some great stuff on here and you could easily use this show as a definition for how to build drama to the ending. That was all that mattered but it worked like a charm at the end. Great show and well worth watching all the way through.

Despite all that happened to it later on and all the insanity that came from it and how it eventually became an albatross that brought WCW to its knees (and yes, most of the blame can still go on Hogan for reasons I’m sure we’ll get to later), when it began this was one of the best storylines in the history of wrestling (and yes X and others, I know Bischoff stole it from Japan).

Having an invasion could have been the best idea in the world. However, I think it peaked as soon as the Giant and Fake Sting joined. The problem simply was that at that point, it stopped being about an invasion and it was just a big faction in WCW. Hogan had to be there or else it was two guys beating up WCW guys. Hogan was virtually unbeatable in WCW so they needed him on board or everyone would just be waiting on Hogan to come in and save the day for WCW all over again.

The problem became that EVERYTHING became about the NWO. Angles such as Benoit/Sullivan and DDP’s benefactor were just dropped and it was NWO all the way. This is a big part of why the company failed in the long run. People got tired of the NWO and WCW had nothing else to throw out there.

Over in the WWF at their peak you had Austin vs. Vince but you also had the IC Title all over the place, you had the hardcore stuff, you had a (terrible) lightweight division, you had DX vs. the Nation and Rock vs. HHH. The midcard wars were going on and while they were tied to Austin vs. Vince, at the same time they were their own feuds. In short, there were a lot of things going on in the company other than just the main event.

Now, the NWO came out red hot and was the #1, #2 and #3 reason why WWF got its head handed to them and the early days of it were the best. That night where Rey got thrown into the trailer was one of the sickest things I have ever seen in wrestling and I was legit scared of the NWO after that. To say they nailed the start of this was an understatement. The NWO was a brilliant idea and it saved both WCW and Hogan.

The next year and a half were some of the most interesting shows of all time. Note that I said interesting and not good or anything like that. Either way, I’m looking forward to the next bunch of PPVs, but we’re going to reach a point eventually, and it’s not going to go well. Still though, this was GREAT and probably the biggest and best played shock in wrestling history.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #94
Date: June 30, 1997
Location: MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyszko

This is probably a bigger show than the PPV from earlier in the month, or at least it’s being treated as such. There are two major debuts tonight and apparently Hogan is going to be here too. Other than that, the card is pretty much stacked with a lot of big names in action. This arena would host a bunch of PPVs so it has a big show feeling to it. Let’s get to it.

Tony does a quick intro and it’s off to Gene who brings out Naitch. Before Flair can talk we hear Piper’s music but instead it’s two women carrying a Piper mannequin. Flair starts to talk but the girls drop the mannequin. Apparently this is all that’s left of Piper after the girls had him all night long. One girl isn’t sure why Piper is called Hot Rod, because he isn’t hot. Oh these are Flair chicks for sure.

Flair says Piper crossed the line last week when Piper tried to tell Flair how to wrestle. That’s what he said? Thanks for clearing it up. Gene asks the girls if Flair is really the sixty minute man. Girl: “More like 30 seconds.” Flair immediately picks up the kilt and pretends he didn’t hear that line. He holds a funeral for Piper and the girls take Gene’s clothes off. He says his mother in law is watching so Flair struts a bit. This heel turn by Flair was way out there and it didn’t work on most levels.

The announcers tell us about Jericho winning the Cruiserweight Title two nights ago and then it’s right back to talking about Flair, who faces Piper at the PPV.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho

Jericho is defending his newly won title. That’s probably the biggest win WCW has had over the NWO to date. They trade wristlocks to start but no one can get control. Jericho hooks a bow and arrow hold on the mat followed by a headlock. Juvy tries a moonsault but misses Jericho, who hits a belly to back suplex for two. A regular suplex gets two as well and Guerrera is put in the Tree of Woe followed by a baseball slide.

Jericho walks into an elbow but Juvy misses a springboard dropkick to put him right back down. Jericho misses a charge and hits the floor, where Juvy hits a HUGE dive to take him out. A release German suplex by Jericho sets up a double powerbomb but it only gets two. Instead it’s the super Frankensteiner by Jericho into the Liontamer for the submission win to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was basically a squash with Juvy being a jobber out there. Jericho winning the title was a big shock but to their credit it felt like a big deal. Guerrera was good at what he did and would become one of the best in the division for years to come. I was kind of surprised by how one sided this was but it wasn’t bad at all.

Post match Gene comes in to talk to Jericho and Chris puts the title on Gene’s shoulder. There’s an image for you. Jericho says this is a WCW belt and it’s back where it belongs. Syxx comes out and says the NWO still recognizes him as champion. He says Jericho can have another match for the title right now, and a brawl breaks out. Post break security pulls them apart and Alex Wright is in the aisle. He’s tired of not getting interviews and not getting title shots. Wright says he has a better body than Luger and that’s it.

Dean Malenko vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie jumps Dean as he’s coming through the entrance and rams him into the steps. They head into the ring as we hear about Los Gringos Locos, Eddie’s team with Art Barr in Mexico. Dean is in trouble as the bell rings and Eddie suplexes him down. A back elbow puts Dean down but the slingshot hilo misses and Eddie is sent to the apron. Guerrero goes up and gets crotched followed by having his tornado DDT countered.

Eddie gets launched face first into the buckle and a backbreaker gets two for Dean. A WICKED powerbomb puts Eddie down but Dean wants to beat on him more instead of pin him. Here’s Chavo to ringside and then to the apron as Malenko is loading up the Cloverleaf. Eddie shoves Dean into Chavo, followed by the brainbuster and Frog Splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was more about storytelling than the match, but the match wasn’t half bad. These two have been going after each other for weeks and it’s a good idea to have the first match end with some questionable means. It continues the story and was good at the same time. What more could you possibly want?

Mysterio is with Gene and says that he’s tired of being pushed around by Nash and the Wolfpac. It started when he was launched like a dart into a trailer and then powerbombed during his match with Syxx. Rey wants a match with Nash and the big man comes out to laugh and accept the challenge.

Here are Bischoff and Hogan with something to say. Eric is on a motorcycle because he enjoys being on them. Hogan talks about beating down all of their enemies and partying with Rodman (not here) later tonight. The party is the highlight of the interview. Pretty much Hogan had nothing to say here.

TV Title: Hector Garza vs. Steven Regal

Regal is defending, in case someone actually needs clarification. Regal, now in a singlet, tries to take Garza down with a Boston Crab to start. When that doesn’t work, Regal pounds away in the corner to take over. Garza comes back with a forearm but Regal takes him back down and struts a bit.

They head to the floor for a second which goes nowhere so Garza low bridges him back to the floor. Garza loads up the Corkscrew Plancha and we go wide to get a better look at it. This is a bad idea as Garza COMPLETELY misses Regal, barely grazing the champ’s shins. Back in and a moonsault hits Regal’s knees and the Regal Stretch retains the title.

Rating: C-. This was a fine enough way to kill off six minutes I guess but there’s nothing to it beyond that. Garza was about as much of a one move guy as you could possibly have and when that one move looked bad in a match, there wasn’t much else he could do. One thing you did get almost every week was a random pairing like this. There’s nothing wrong with that because you can throw something out there and see what works. If it doesn’t, you lose six minutes and that’s it. WWE seems to be trying this with Cesaro lately and it’s a good idea.

The Steiners want their match with the Outsiders accepted tonight. Didn’t they already win the #1 contendership? Why would they need a match to be accepted? This brings out the NWO en masse. Hall says he has a contract right now and the Steiners sign it without reading it. The contract says that the Steiners have to beat Chono and Muta before they get their shot. I’m sure THAT will be the last match before the title match right?

Super Calo vs. Psychosis

Calo knocks him to the floor and Psychosis stalls a bit. Sonny Onoo, Psychosis’ manager, distracts Calo and Psychosis takes over. Back in and Calo powerslams him down but gets enziguried to the floor. Psychosis goes up but missed a double ax handle, landing face first on the barricade. FREAKING OW MAN! Calo suplexes him back in as they try to do the Warrior/Rude finish from Mania 5, but Sonny misses the foot, making Calo look completely inept. Too short to rate but it was pretty pedestrian stuff.

Post match Calo beats down Psychosis but La Parka comes out and breaks a wooden chair over Calo’s back for the second time. Juventud Guerrera comes out for the save.

Hour #2 starts.

Steve McMichael/Ric Flair/Chris Benoit vs. Buff Bagwell/Masahiro Chono/Scott Norton

Bagwell and Flair start things off and we get a strutting competition. Buff pounds on Flair in the corner and it’s off to Mongo who has a dumb look on his face. Mongo gets caught in the wrong corner but he comes back with right hands to Chono. Back to Flair who pounds away for about five seconds before Benoit comes in to a nice reaction. Chono kicks him down but stops to argue with Flair, allowing Benoit to clothesline Chono down and hit the Swan Dive. Everything breaks down and Vincent comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here as the whole match wasn’t even four minutes long and had the NWO DQ as required by WCW law. Also I’m not sure what was accomplished here at all, but on a shot this big I can understand the matches being this short. It isn’t fun to sit through but it’s understandable.

High Voltage vs. Mortis/Wrath

Wrath pounds on Kaos in the corner and things break down in about twenty seconds. A top rope clothesline puts Kaos down and the squash is on. Glacier and Miller come to ringside and the distraction draws Wrath to the floor, allowing Cat (Miller) to kick Mortis in the face and give High Voltage the big upset.

A limo is in the back. Presumably this is the impact player. The door opens, the camera zooms in on it, and the door closes.

Road Report.

Raven is in the front row and the announcers all know who he is. He’s mentioned as a champion from elsewhere but ECW isn’t mentioned by name of course. Tenay thinks he might be the Impact Player or Page’s mystery partner.

US Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Konnan

I think this is for the title but I’m not sure. Jeff pounds him down to start but misses an enziguri, allowing Konnan to hit a low dropkick to take over. Jarrett comes back with a DDT but Konnan takes it to the mat and hooks a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat. Konnan loads up a Figure Four but a rake to the eyes breaks it up. Here come the Horsemen who distract Konnan and allow Jeff to take the knee out and put on the Figure Four….which is almost immediately turned over. Jeff turns it back over and Flair helps Jeff with some extra leverage for the tap out.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here again with another match feeling like pure filler. I just hope this doesn’t lead to more problems for the Horsemen as that story has been going on for about a year now. Jarrett never clicked at all in WCW and he felt forced in there as a Horseman. How many US Title shots is Konnan going to get anyway?

Post match Jeff brags about everyone he’s beaten but Flair says Jarrett is off the team. Halle-freaking-lujah. Jarrett says you can’t do that. Flair is like dude, I’m Ric Flair. Debra runs her mouth for a bit and Jarrett says he’s going to put Flair out. Benoit talks about how Jarrett blew his chance. This didn’t make a ton of sense, but anything that gets Jarrett out of the Horsemen is cool with me.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Kevin Nash

Rey goes right at him and takes Nash down, but a sunset flip goes about as badly as you would expect it to for Mysterio. Nash LAUNCHES Mysterio across the ring and the Jackknife ends this quick. So Mysterio stands up to the NWO and is promptly destroyed. Thanks for wasting our time on that guys.

Nash drops Mysterio again and hits the referee too. Konnan comes out as Nash powerbombs Rey a third time. Nash leaves and Konnan puts on the Tequila Sunrise, apparently joining the NWO. Mysterio is taken out on a stretcher.

Tenay goes to talk to Raven but Raven won’t say anything.

Diamond Dallas Page/Lex Luger/The Giant vs. Randy Savage/Outsiders

Main event time. We take a break before the match starts and come back to see the NWO still not letting WCW in, just like what we saw before the break. Luger and Giant finally get in and the match gets going. Page goes right for Savage and WCW rules the ring to start. Hall gets in a shot on Luger, and according to wrestling law, the rest of the NWO takes over at the exact same time. All six guys are still in the ring and I don’t think we’ve had a bell yet.

Savage and Page fight to the floor before getting right back into the ring. We still haven’t had two people alone in the ring yet. Luger goes down so Giant headbutts both Outsiders down at the same time. Giant charges at them both but gets backdropped to the floor. Here comes Hogan and Page Diamond Cuts Savage. Hogan blasts Luger with the belt on the floor and apparently he took Giant out with it earlier. Page gets beaten down and I think the match is thrown out. It never started I don’t think so I won’t rate it, but it was just a big brawl anyway.

The NWO destroys Page as Hogan walks around on the floor. Savage hits a second elbow and Sting is in the crowd. Savage hits a third elbow and another Sting drops in from the rafters. Hogan bails and Sting clears the ring. Curt Hennig walks down the aisle and the show ends with him doing nothing at all. Raven jumps the guardrail, which is some of the only main event interaction I ever remember him having in WCW.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a back and forth show. It feels like a big show for sure, given all of the matches they had on here and some of the stuff they had going on, but nothing on here is anything more than ok from a quality standpoint. That being said, we had a lot of stuff on here and it certainly feels like a big show, which is what they were shooting for. The ending looks really interesting, but the important question is how will they follow up on it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 2002
Location: Wells Fargo Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

You know, I constantly say how much I hate 2002 Raw, and yet this is the 11^th episode of it that I’ll have reviewed already. I plan on doing them all starting soon, and I’ll already be a fifth done with them. Interestingly enough, only one show has been after July. Anyway, we’re between KOTR and Vengeance here, which means Undertaker is world champion. The only thing I recognize on the card is a match that is in the running for worst TV match ever, so that’s likely why this was requested. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the 4^th of July show with Angle making Undertaker tap out at the same time Undertaker pinned him.

Vince pops up to start and says Undertaker has the night off. Taker will however be on Smackdown to welcome Rock back. The main event for Vengeance is Rock vs. Taker vs. Angle for the title.

Theme song.

Here’s Booker to open the show. This is just after he was literally kicked out of the NWO. He rants about X-Pac, compares him to Chuck E. Cheese, and wants him tonight. Booker knows he might get beaten down but you have to do that to get some respect. Instead he gets Eddie Guerrero. Eddie says this isn’t about Booker, because the Dudleys stole a win from him. Last week Eddie promised Benoit that he would take out his anger on the first guy he saw, and with that the fight is on.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Booker T

Booker pounds on him to start and a knee to the ribs looks to set up the ax kick, only for Eddie to get in a shot to the knee and take over. A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two for Eddie and this is going slow already. Eddie suplexes him down and hits a neckbreaker for two. Booker comes out of nowhere with his corner sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was about three minutes of punching and kicking followed by a nearly botched sunset flip out of the corner. For two world champion level guys, you kind of expect a bit more. That being said, this was pretty much normal for Raw around this time, as nothing was really clicking at all.

Post match Eddie tries to jump Booker again but gets kicked in the face. Benoit runs in and it’s a double beatdown on Booker. Goldust comes out for the save but gets beaten down as well. Here are Bubba and Spike with chairs to take out Benoit and Eddie for the real save.

A familiar name is coming to WWE. His name: Rey Mysterio.

Goldust asks for Booker’s hand. Dancing ensues but Booker says this is serious. Goldust talks about going down and skips off. Booker superkicks a vendor that looks like X-Pac. Did I mention Booker is more or less the top face on Raw at this point?

Trish and Jackie Gayda are in the back and we get clips of Jackie vs. Molly from last week. Molly won so Trish came out and ripped Molly’s pants off. Jackie accuses Trish of being jealous and oh my goodness she makes Stephanie look like a classic actress. Christopher Nowitski pops up and insults Trish because of her cowboy hat. Trish suggests a mixed tag with those two against herself and some partner. Nowitski makes cowboy jokes and Trish says her partner will be Bradshaw.

We get a famous Rock moment of him driving Lillian crazy.

Chris Benoit vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Spike and Bubba are in the back when Goldust, dressed as Benjamin Franklin, claims to have traveled through time after having seen what the Dudleys did earlier to save Goldust and Booker. Franklindust proposes that the Dudleys team up with Booker and Goldust to fight the NWO. Goldie says he wanted to punch Thomas Jefferson a time or two but they’re all in this together. Did I mention this is the top feud on Raw at the moment? We cut back to Benoit and Guerrero (his second) standing in the ring and Benoit’s face makes it look like he wishes he was still healing from a broken neck.

Benoit jumps Benoit to start and takes him down with a forearm to the face. Benoit keeps pounding on him so Bubba chops back in the corner. There’s a belly to back suplex to Benoit but an Eddie distraction keeps the backsplash from being launched. It’s not like it would have hit anyway. The Canadian hits a German on the American and they chop it out a bit before the American hits a German on the Canadian. A big sidewalk slam puts Benoit down and Eddie jumps Spike. There’s the Bubba Bomb to Benoit but Eddie throws Spike at the referee. Benoit uses the distraction to grab the Crossface for the submission.

Rating: C. It was better than the previous match because of the intensity in it, but was this really the best thing they could use Benoit for after he came back from injury? The match was barely long enough to rate and it was nothing interesting at all. Bubba Ray Dudley is roughly the third biggest face on the show right now, which should give you a good idea of how things were.

Post match the former Radicalz beat the Dudleys down until Booker and Goldust make the save.

Christopher Nowitski (notice the repetition of names tonight?) takes us on a tour of Harvard’s athletics department.

We get some clips from last week’s ladder match with Hardy vs. Undertaker.

Flair is praising Jeff in the back for trying last week when Steven Richards come up. We get Flair vs. Richards tonight, because in 2002 we use guys like Flair and Benoit to put over guys like Steven Richards and Bubba Ray Dudley, and by put over I mean beat them in three and a half minute matches that no one will remember by the end of the show because there was nothing to them.

Trish Stratus/Bradshaw vs. Christopher Nowitski/Jackie Gayda

JR warns us that Nowitski and Gayda are very green still, so you know this isn’t going to be pretty. The men start and they get down in three point stances but Chris runs. Gayda gets the tag which brings in Trish because the genders have to match. Trish hits some Japanese armdrags and a dropkick for two before charging at the ropes, not hitting Jackie, and bouncing back into the ring. Jackie literally falls onto Trish and the Philly fans let them have it.

She chokes Trish on the ropes….by pulling Trish’s throat away from the rope. Off to the guys again with Bradshaw kicking Chris in the face and hitting the fallaway slam for no cover. Jackie jumps on Bradshaw’s back….and the guys run into the crowd, leaving these two girls in the ring. Alone. IN PHILADELPHIA. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA???

Back in the ring, Trish chops away with Jackie looking like she’s dancing instead of selling. Jackie chokes away in the opposite corner and puts Trish on the top. WHO TOLD HER SHE KNEW HOW TO DO A SUPERPLEX??? Thank goodness Trish knocks her away and tries a bulldog. Stratus jumps, her forearm hits Jackie in the back of the head…..and Jackie doesn’t move. Trish hits the mat and THEN Jackie falls down on her side. Trish rolls her up and the referee counts three even though Jackie kicks out at two. JR: “And mercifully it’s over.”

Rating: P. For Philadelphia. The WWE agents thought it was ok to leave Trish Stratus, who wasn’t good yet, and JACKIE GAYDA, in her THIRD MATCH, alone in the ring in Philadelphia. This may in fact be the dumbest decision in the history of the company, and that’s covering A LOT of ground.

Eddie and Benoit yell about the four guys they’ve dealt with tonight. X-Pac and Big Show come up and say chill. Shawn follows the NWO and says that we’re getting a speech in a second from Nash.

Rock moment shows him making fun of whoever he happens to be feuding with at the time.

Here’s the NWO because what would this show be without them? Shawn says you’re either with the NWO or you’re against them. We get a clip from King of the Ring where HHH seemed interested about joining them and apparently HHH has officially been offered a spot. Shawn talks about the Kliq and most people don’t seem interested. Fan: “GET TO THE POINT!” HHH hasn’t responded to their offer yet so Shawn thinks HHH is going soft because of the fans. HHH has until Vengeance to join or else.

Nash says that tonight, the NWO is going to take out Booker tonight and that’s a message to the Game. It’s his first match back from the injured list. Remember that as it’ll be important later. Tonight it’s a ten man tag with the three NWO guys, Benoit and Eddie vs. the Dudleys/Booker/Goldust/whoever else they can get. This took nearly ten minutes somehow.

Ric Flair vs. Steven Richards

Flair pounds him into the corner to start like some legend beating down some midcard guy that never really got over other than for a few months. Flair pounds on him in the other corner now and we head to the floor. Back in and Flair gets backdropped but avoids a dropkick. Flair blocks a suplex, hits a belly to back of his own, and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: D. Total squash here and I have no idea why. Is this really the best they can do with Flair? I mean, you can’t have him feud with Benoit or Guerrero and let him get one of those guys over? Flair doesn’t need to win these matches and they’re not helping Richards, nor are they doing anything for Flair, so what’s the point? Better question: why am I expecting a point?

Rock has sung a lot. He’s coming back to Smackdown though, probably because there’s no one on Raw worth his time.

Here are Heyman and the KOTR and #1 contender, Brock Lesnar. Heyman talks about how whoever wins the triple threat is going to be the lamb led to slaughter at Summerslam. Lesnar gets RVD for the IC Title at Vengeance which Heyman declares a win already. Heyman knows this because he created RVD (and never put the world title on him for no apparent reason) along with everyone else in ECW. He made them to satiate the blood thist (his terms) of these Philadelphia fans.

This brings out Tommy Dreamer with a kendo stick. Guess what the fans start chanting. Dreamer says Heyman didn’t make anyone. It was the people working so hard that made ECW along with the fans. Dreamer says he used to be the Innovator of Violence and he can take whatever beating Brock can give him. He hits Brock with the stick a few times and goes after Heyman, only to walk into the F5 on the floor. Van Dam comes out of nowhere for the save. Heyman takes a Van Terminator.

Pat Croce, the former boss of the Philadelphia 76ers, is here to talk about his new show Slam Ball, which is this freaky idea that had basketball being played with trampolines.

European Title: Jeff Hardy vs. William Regal

Regal is defending of course. Jeff starts fast and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. The legdrop between the legs keeps Regal down and they head outside. Regal gets in some stomps and takes over before hitting a Tiger Bomb in the ring for two. Regal Cutter gets two as well and Regal takes Jeff’s head off with a running knee. The champ puts on a kind of Tazmission which doesn’t last long followed by some elbows for two. Regal goes to take off the buckle pad and gets dropkicked into the corner. That and a Swanton are enough for the pin and the title for Jeff.

Rating: C-. Another short match that didn’t mean anything. Jeff would look to be in line for a push here, but the title would be retired in two weeks because someone thought it was a good idea to have one champion per show for some reason that no one ever really explained. Jeff would do nothing of note before leaving in 2003.

This is your life Rock!

Regal starts to cry in the back. This also went nowhere as far as I remember.

The Dudleys ask RVD to be their partner.

NWO/Chris Benoit/Eddie Guerrero vs. Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley/Rob Van Dam/Booker T/Goldust

Van Dam and X-Pac start things off which is one of the best possible combinations they could put out there. Van Dam takes over with a lot of kicks and gets two off a big one. Off to Goldie who pounds away in the corner before hitting a powerslam for no cover. Here’s Bubba, who somehow seems to be the guy on the face team getting the biggest push out of all of them.

Off to Spike with a headscissor takeover but he tries one too many flips and is taken down by a kick. Pac brings in Benoit who lays out Spike with a gordbuster before bringing in Eddie. After a bit more beating, a BIG monkey flip sends Eddie flying. Benoit comes in to suplex RVD down and it’s time for Big Show. Van Dam keeps playing Ricky Morton for awhile with X-Pac choking away.

Van Dam comes out of nowhere with a superkick but Shawn breaks up the Five Star. A spin kick from Rob allows for the hot tag to Bubba who cleans as much house as he can. Shawn trips Bubba and is chased to the back by Van Dam. As Van Dam is chasing him, Lesnar pops out and takes Rob’s head off with a clothesline and lays him out with the F5. Bubba gets slammed by Show and it’s off to Benoit again. Make that Eddie as you can see who is doing all the work here.

Hot tag brings in Booker who cleans the house all over again but Nash hits him in the back of the head. Here’s the tag to Nash and let’s time this. A big boot takes Booker down and then Nash goes over to the face corner, trips over Booker, and rips his quad apart, putting him on the shelf until April. Everything breaks down and Sweet Chin Music and a chokeslam end Booker.

Rating: D-. So let’s see: we had Benoit and Eddie doing all the work, Bubba and Spike doing nothing of note, Booker doing the job, and the NWO getting to look good. Other than them, who benefits from this? This was all about the NWO which did nothing at all their entire run. Thankfully due to Nash’s injury the team was split up the next week. This match sucked though and is a perfect way to cap off the awful show.

Shawn warns HHH to join or else to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Nothing good happened on this show. Literally, there was nothing to see here at all. The best match is Benoit vs. Bubba which was nothing more than a setup for later in the show. It had one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen and some of the least interesting feuds in wrestling history. Who is the top face here? Van Dam? Booker? Bubba? It’s really hard to tell and that’s not good. This was the problem they were risking by having Austin be the only top guy and they had to bring HHH over soon to give them a star to save the show, which led to the disaster that was 2003. Horrible HORRIBLE show here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 11, 2002
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is another Twitter request which I’d love to get more of. Anyway the main event tonight is a pretty big match with the NWO vs. Rock/Austin in a handicap match. Other than that…..oh this is the go home show for Wrestlemania. That probably has something to do with the request, but it’s hard to say what to expect as far as quality. Either they’ll be on fire or they’ll be going at half speed because of fear of messing up Sunday. Let’s get to it.

Rob Van Dam/Hardy Boys vs. Dudley Boys/William Regal

We’re combining PPV match here, although the tag teams are in a four way with two other teams. Regal is IC Champion and cost Van Dam the Hardcore Title on Thursday. It’s a big brawl to start with Regal vs. Van Dam in the ring. Van Dam gets two almost immediately off Rolling Thunder. The arena is full of smoke so Van Dam and the Hardys have an automatic advantage. D-Von tries to set up a table for no apparent reason but Rob baseball slides it into his face.

Jeff comes in but Regal kicks him in the head to take over. What’s Up keeps Jeff down but he hits a Whisper in the Wind to take D-Von down. Hot tag brings in Matt vs. Regal with Matt cleaning house. Everything breaks down and it’s a 3D to Jeff, a Twist of Fate to D-Von, a Bubba Bomb to Matt, a top rope kick to Bubba, a spin kick to Regal, and a Five Star to Regal for the pin. The last three were all by the same guy.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here at all and I’m always a fan of putting two feuds together into one match. This doesn’t do much for the tag teams but it makes Van Dam look like a bigger threat to Regal and the title which is the point of this match. Not a great match but the ending was good.

Vince and Flair are at an emergency board meeting in Connecticut. Vince says the company is in a state of emergency due to Flair. He talks about how the company is falling apart because they have no direction. Actually this speech would be better served later in the year but you get the point. Tonight, Vince would like a unanimous vote for full owenership and control of the company.

Here’s Angle with something to say. He talks about how he got ripped off in his title match with Jericho due to Kane’s interference. Angle calls himself the Big Red White and Blue Machine which makes me chuckle. They have a match at Wrestlemania now and Angle is going to make that whole burning alive thing look like a paper cut. However, Kane isn’t the only one to blame for Angle not getting the title shot. It’s also the fans’ fault for the You Suck chants.

This brings out Booker in defense of the fans which is a surprise. The fans aren’t stupid. They’re beyond stupid. The fans have cost him his Japanese shampoo commercial and he doesn’t even have for Wrestlemania. This brings out Edge who says Booker is stupid (complete with clips of Booker being stupid on the Weakest Link, a trivia show that had a WWF week) and that he’ll be his Huckleberry for Wrestlemania. Booker says ok.

Angle says “You dang skippy, crystal clean with no caffeine.” Booker glares at him and Edge says Angle is just the Big White Machine. Angle tries a Spinarooni and we’ve got a tag match set up for later with Edge having a mystery partner. Edge asks for Angle’s music to be played so we can all practice our You Sucks.

Stephanie is in the back with HHH’s dog Lucy. She rips into the dog which is apparently a spoil of war in the divorce. HHH comes in and takes the dog but Stephanie won’t let him leave with the dog. A judge says the dog belongs to her because Stephanie told the judge how HHH mistreated Lucy. At least until the divorce is over. Did I mention we’re six days away from HHH being in the main event of WRESTLE FREAKING MANIA and they’re arguing over a dog? HHH throws the dog onto Stephanie and says she does stink, doesn’t she Lucy. Stephanie says she’ll introduce Lucy to someone that hates dogs worse than she does.

Rikishi vs. Test

Rikishi pounds him down and into the corner to start but Test punches him right back. Rikishi superkicks him down and hits an Earthquake before setting up the Stink Face, only to have Mr. Perfect, the cause for this match somehow, come out and distract Rikishi. Test hits a big boot for the pin. This was nothing.

Jericho comes in to see Stephanie and Lucy and throws Lucy off the couch. Stephanie CAN’T FREAKING ACT. The dog relieves itself on the carpet. Six days until Wrestlemania. I want you to keep that in mind.

And the joke KEEPS GOING as Jericho takes the dog for a walk. Jericho ties her to the door of a limo and leaves her outside.

DDP is at catering when Christian comes up. He’s DDP’s protege but it’s not quite working. DDP gives him a smiling lesson so Billy and Chuck come up and make thinly veiled gay jokes. Christian vs. Billy is made for later.

Back to the board meeting, which is totally cool to have cameras in of course. Vince shows a clip from Smackdown with Flair beating up Undertaker. Flair was arrested but he’s at the meeting anyway. I can’t remember his name but the cop is from OVW.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Al Snow

Goldie is defending. There are weapons in the ring to start so they fight on the floor to get things going. The champ loads up Shattered Dreams but Snow gets out of the way. There’s a fire extinguisher shot and the Snowplow gives Snow the title in like a minute.

Jericho tries to find air freshener for Stephanie and is going to an all night store to get some. It’s like 9:45 and they need an all night store? The limo backs up and apparently it hit Lucy.

Back with MORE DOG STUFF! HHH finds out what happened and Lucy is still alive. Help is requested. I’m terrified to think of what the payoff of this is going to be tonight.

Booker T/Kurt Angle vs. Edge/???

The mystery partner is….Big Show. I know Kane isn’t here tonight, but WHY isn’t Kane here tonight? I don’t think we’ve ever been given a reason for that. Booker and Show start with Booker hammering away to no avail. Angle comes in and gets thrown around as well and chopped in the corner. Apparently Kane has a concussion. See, that wasn’t so hard. A quick ankle lock is countered by pure power. Both heels are sent to the floor and Edge plays the Jimmy Snuka to Show’s Andre and dives onto both of them on the floor.

Back in and Angle charges into a Canadian boot but Angle Germans Edge down to take over. Booker comes in but gets kicked down as well and it’s off to Big Show. Off to Show vs. Angle and another kick to the face takes Angle down. A double chokeslam is countered so Show suplexes both of them instead. Everything breaks down and Booker kicks Show in the face as he’s trying the chokeslam on Kurt. Edge spears Booker down but it’s an Angle Slam and ankle lock for the tap out from Big Show.

Rating: C. Well it’s not like Big Show had anything to do on Sunday anyway so him doing the job is the only possible answer. Not a great match or anything but again it does some work for two matches which is a great idea coming into Sunday. Edge vs. Angle would get started later this year and it would launch Edge WAY up the ladder.

Stephanie freaks out about Lucy but Jericho has a plan.

Torrie, Jackie and Terri are in swimsuits at WWF New York to promote a Divas special. THANK GOODNESS Jackie is blocked out by a guy’s head.

Billy vs. Christian

DDP jumps in on commentary. Billy pounds Christian down in the corner to start and hits a Jackhammer for no cover. Fameasser is avoided and Christian has a tantrum on the floor. Page goes over to calm him down but it lets Chuck clothesline Christian down. Billy hits the Fameasser on Christian but Page Diamond Cuts Billy to give Christian the cheap win.

Christian turns on Page post match and we’ve got a European Title (Page is champion) match on Sunday.

Back to the board meeting and Vince gives a big corporate speech about how Flair is an embarrassment to the company. This is MR. MCMAHON giving this speech. Keep in mind, Flair is fighting Undertaker on Sunday, not Vince. The Board is going to go talk and then vote on either Flair or Vince.

Lita/Trish Stratus vs. Jazz/Stacy Keibler

I always loved how Lita looked in those tied off Wrestlemania baseball jerseys. Trish is just starting to get good and she has her signature look down now. Trish gets jumped and double teamed to start but let’s talk about Lucy! She has a broken leg apparently but HHH is on his way back. Jazz and Lita start things off with Jazz (the Women’s Champion) hitting a double chickenwing on Lita.

Off to Stacy for a corner leg choke but Lita realizes that she’s fighting Stacy freaking Keibler and slams her down. Off to Trish as everything breaks down. Jazz takes a double flapjack but Trish accidentally kicks Lita, giving Jazz a quick rollup win. Trish, Jazz and Lita would have a triple threat on Sunday for the title and for the life of me I have no idea why Trish didn’t win the title there but rather a month or so later.

HHH is back and he’s in ANGRY mode. He’s looking for Stephanie but Steph is coming to the ring. She swears it was an accident and here’s HHH. Stephanie runs but HHH drags her back to the ring. The only good thing about this: Stephanie tries to crawl away but HHH grabs her by the pants, giving us a great uncensored view.

HHH loads up a Pedigree but Jericho runs in and hits him in the repaired thigh with a sledgehammer twice. HHH thinks it’s torn again. The Game is taken to the back and Jericho takes the leg out again. See here’s the thing: why did we need the Lucy stuff? Take that away and do this angle and it’s THE SAME EXACT THING.

JR and Jerry debate if this was a setup or not. IS EVERYONE TIHS FREAKING STUPID???

Back to the board meeting because we haven’t been dumbed down enough tonight. Flair says he’s going to have his match on Sunday no matter what, so Vince gets a full vote of confidence, giving him full power back…..until Wrestlemania, after which the board can review the decision. Flair thanks the board for meeting tonight (despite the video saying this was earlier today) and talks about his match on Sunday. You have to remember that Flair and Vince hadn’t had any issues since February and it’s been Flair vs. Taker for the last month or so, making this even more ridiculous.

Hogan is fired up for tonight and for Wrestlemania and getting to face Rock. The NWO promises history tonight.

New World Order vs. Steve Austin/The Rock

This is the first time the NWO has ever competed together in the WWF. Rock and Hall start things off but a Hogan distraction lets Hall take over. This is a handicap match if that didn’t come through. Rock comes back and Hogan bails from the apron in fear. A clothesline gets two for Hall and it’s off to Nash. Rock pounds away but a sidewalk slam gets two for Nash. Snake Eyes puts Rock down and it’s off to Hogan.

Hogan pounds on Rock a bit and suplexes him down before Hall and Nash work Rock over a bit. There’s the hot tag to Austin who cleans house. Nash somehow botches a Thesz Press from Austin so Austin hits a spinebuster on Hall instead. Nash can’t even hit Austin in the head right so Austin clotheslines the Outsiders down. A big boot, the only move even Nash can’t screw up, takes Austin down and it’s back to Hall.

The fallaway slam gets two for Scott and it’s back to Nash. Kevin pounds on Austin in the corner and it’s back to Hall. A clothesline puts Austin down for two and now for the only time that I can EVER remember, it’s Hogan vs. Austin. Hogan pounds away with some punches and a chokeslam before tagging out to Hall. It only lasts 25 seconds, but that actually felt special. Hall chokeslams Austin down but the Razor’s Edge is broken up by a backdrop.

Austin’s comeback is stopped AGAIN by a clothesline but he takes Hall right back down. Hot tag brings in Rock vs. Nash and Rock cleans house….for about 20 seconds before Nash takes him down again. This feels like WCW all over again. Off to Hogan to clean up the Rock scraps, but Rock nips up to terrify Hulk. Nash of course stops the momentum and everything breaks down. In a REALLY anti-climactic ending, Hogan punches Rock, hits the boot and legdrop and gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Huge historical moment aside, this was a really odd match. It was basically a squash with the NWO never really breaking a sweat against two of the biggest stars of all time. Nash looked like he had never been in a ring before and the whole thing looked awful. Then again, this had Steve Austin vs. Hulk Hogan in a legal match so it gets an automatic pass.

The NWO cleans house to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was AWFUL. Between the two WAY too long stories that went nowhere, the matches sucked and it felt like they threw Wrestlemania together six days before the show. Austin vs. Hall, pretty much the third biggest match on the show, wasn’t mentioned until the last fifteen seconds. On top of that, Jericho is a total afterthought to both Stephanie and A FREAKING DOG. He’s the Undisputed WWF Champion heading into the main event of Wrestlemania and he’s playing third fiddle to a wife and a dog. Absolutely horrible show and one of the worst go home shows I have ever seen.

Here’s Wrestlemania if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/03/25/history-of-wrestlemania-with-kb-wrestlemania-18-should-have-been-hogan-vs-austin/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Nitro #89
Date: May 26, 1997
Location: Nashville Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,484
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Bobby Heenan, Tony Schiavone, Larry Zbyzsko

We’re back to the regular two hours again and that might be something good in this case. Also Hogan is here tonight which always helps make the shows feel bigger than they do without him. We’re coming up on the Great American Bash in three weeks and odds are we’ll get the main event announced tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to open the show. Hogan’s beard appears to be infecting his head and is growing at an alarming rate. This is the one year anniversary of Hall jumping the guard rail. Bischoff says he’s checked under the ring and there’s not Sting this week. Hogan talks about partying in the Bahamas with Nick and Brooke, which are names that don’t mean anything at this point. Hogan runs down Sting and Eric says that Sting is just afraid of Hulk. Hogan says he’s going to be looking around and if he finds anyone in Sting makeup, he’s going to take them out.

Hector Garza/Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo vs. Ciclope/Damien/La Parka

This is under Mexican rules, which means if you go to the floor, another member of your team can come in just like a tag. La Parka and Juvy get us going with Juvy taking over with a quick spin kick to the face. Juvy goes up but his cross body is caught and La Parka struts over to the corner and sets Juvy up top. Juvy comes back with a big top rope rana to send Parka to the floor.

Off to Ciclope as Larry complains about the Mexican rules because “we’re not in Mexico.” Sometimes common sense is the best approach. Calo comes in to replace Parka and hits a headscissors to send Parka to the floor. Calo hits a HUGE suicide dive to send both guys into the crowd, giving us Damien vs. Garza. Garza is basically here for one move: a corkscrew plancha to the floor. The idea is that he’s going to hit it but you don’t know when or how many people he’ll take out.

Everything breaks down and it’s almost impossible to tell who is legal as four people came in at the same time when Garza and Damien went to the floor. It appears to be Calo vs. Damien now with Calo in control, only to take his eyes off Damien and get jumped. Off to Garza who speeds things up but gets sent to the floor.

Everyone goes to the floor and it’s time to fire off the dives. Garza hits his big corkscrew plancha, prompting Larry to ask if Garza thinks he’s Captain Planet. Turner property or not, that’s the best Larry can come up with? Damien tries a seated senton back inside but Garza catches him in a powerbomb and hits a standing moonsault for the pin.

Rating: B. This is pretty much the textbook definition for a lucha libre spotfest and there’s nothing wrong with that. Other than Juvy, none of these guys have stood out but they know how to fire off all kinds of flips and dives. While not a great match from a technical standpoint or anything like that, it was fun and the dives were great. That’s what you want to do with an opener too. Good stuff here.

Alex Wright vs. Psychosis

This is Wright’s first match after his heel turn last week. Wright flips around to escape a wristlock but Psychosis does the exact same thing. A jumping kick to the face gives Wright control again and he pounds away in the corner. Psychosis comes back with a moonsault press for two followed by a top rope spin kick to the back of Wright’s head for one. Wright bails to the floor and dances a bit, only for Psychosis to bust out a mostly missed moonsault to take both guys out. Back in and the guillotine legdrop pins Wright.

Rating: D+. This was pretty messy. Also why in the world would you have Wright lose completely clean after a heel turn last week? The announcers are pushing this as a huge upset and to be fair it probably is. The match had almost no flow or story to it at all and the big spots didn’t hit. Not terrible but really messy.

Sonny Onoo still has a surprise for Chono tonight but won’t say who it is. Sonny tries to sign Psychosis as he leaves and Psychosis is interested. As Sonny gloats, Madusa comes out and wants a Women’s Title shot. She says she’ll do anything for it and immediately regrets saying it. Sonny says she’ll get the shot at the Bash but if she loses, her career is over. She agrees and that’s it.

We get a quick look at Ernest Miller and his martial arts background.

Wrath vs. Mark Starr

Total squash with Wrath throwing Starr all over the place, including out to the floor so Mortis can get in some shots. Wrath does look awesome and has a great name, but this feud went on so long that it killed whatever he had going. A top rope clothesline kills Starr and a bicycle kick sets up the double arm Rock Bottom to end the massacre. Apparently that move is called the Death Penalty.

Konnan vs. Villano IV

They’re going really light on the promos tonight. Hugh Morrus talks about how he doesn’t like Konnan anymore, which I think happened at Slamboree. Konnan and Villano shake hands before Konnan hits him in the ribs to start. Konnan pounds him into the corner and fires off a dropkick. He shouts VIVA MEXICO which apparently fires up Villano.

After a brief comeback, Villano shouts VIVA MEXICO as well. Not that it really matters as Konnan hits an Alabama Slam out of the corner to stop the momentum dead. Here’s Morrus but security stops him in the aisle. The 187 (fisherman’s DDT) kills Villano dead and Tequila Sunrise (half crab with armbar) gets the win for Konnan.

Rating: C-. Just a squash here as Konnan was a guy who had a decent place in the midcard. The next step for him of course: put him in the NWO where he got lost in the shuffle. He was a Mexican wrestler who could actually wrestle a style different from the dozen or so other luchadores they had which gave him something to offer. Then it went nowhere because the NWO didn’t have enough lackeys.

Konnan runs down the Dungeon and Sullivan post match.

Masahiro Chono vs. ???

Sonny comes out to introduce the surprise: The Great Muta. Chono is NWO. We get a LONG stall at the beginning of the match, during which Larry announces that the Japanese are in fact a different race. No contact in the first minute. Or in the second minute. Muta puts on a VERY weak headlock. So weak that Chono just ducks out of it and Muta doesn’t move his arms. Sonny freaks out on Muta, Muta sprays mist in his eyes, and Muta joins the NWO. Well no one had joined in a few months so I guess we needed someone else to inflate the ranks.

Hour #2 starts.

Savage talks about his feud with Page. Apparently he wants a rematch at the Bash, which may or may not already be set. The idea is that Savage was embarrassed by a guy in his first main event match at Spring Stampede and it’s driving him crazier than he already is.

Here are Page and Kimberly with a rebuttal. The match is already signed apparently. Page has the crutch that was broken over his back by Hogan. He talks about how he’s under Savage’s skin and how he owes Hogan a Diamond Cutter. Page owes Savage even more though and he’ll get that at the Bash. Kimberly says she’s keeping the pieces of the crutch as a memento. She also has some of the hair that Savage pulled out of her head. Page says you don’t mess with family or his wife, and Savage messed with both. See, this is how you build up a match. I want to see these two fight now.

Barbarian vs. Jim Powers

Powers fires off some basic offense to start but can’t take Barbarian down. A clothesline takes Powers’ head off and Barbarian sends him out to the floor for some more beating. Back in and they chop it out with Barbie taking over. Powers gets in some boots but he doesn’t jump far enough coming off the middle rope so Barbarian can catch him in a powerslam. A big boot ends Powers.

Rating: D. Powers is FINALLY done after this, not appearing on Nitro for over a year after this. Why we needed to have Barbarian get a squash win on Nitro is kind of head scratching but it was something different than they’ve had in the rest of the show. Meng has been doing some singles stuff around this time so maybe that’s why.

Benoit comes out post match and wants Sullivan back soon. Hart says Barbarian is ready for Benoit right now so Benoit takes his jacket off and gets in the ring. Hart says next week.

The Giant vs. Jerry Flynn/Johnny Swinger/Rick Fuller

The jobbers have to tag here so what are you expecting to happen? Swinger starts and can’t do anything. Flynn can’t do anything so it’s off to Fuller who is by far the biggest guy on the team. After Fuller gets beaten up, all three come in with Flynn and Fuller getting belly to back suplexed at the same time. There’s a chokeslam to Swinger, there’s one for Fuller, and there’s one for Flynn. Giant pins all Swinger and Flynn at the same time.

Luger and Giant are in the ring and we hear about an open contract issued by Hogan and Rodman for the PPV Luger talks about being an NBA fan and watching Rodman. At Uncensored, Rodman came into the WCW world and Luger would like to invite them back. Luger issues the challenge for the PPV and Giant says they’re ready. I’m missing something because that match wound up happening at Bash at the Beach. Maybe that’s what they meant or maybe it was changed.

Lee Marshall does his road report jazz.

Here’s Syxx to talk about Flair. He shows us a video from last week of him and the Outsiders beating up Flair before bringing the Outsiders out. Hall and Nash have the newer design of the tag titles which I’ve always liked better. They make fun of Piper and say Piper couldn’t make Hogan sleep unless they showed him Piper’s latest movie. To the shock of everyone, Hall and Nash offer to defend the titles. The opponents aren’t the shock. It’s that they’re actually defending the belts. They want Piper and Flair so they can retire them once and for all.

Jeff Jarrett/Steve McMichael vs. Harlem Heat

Before the match we get a quick recap of Kevin Greene running in last week. Booker and Jeff start things off but it’s off to Mongo before anything happens. Mongo runs him over but Booker won’t tag out. Booker escapes a belly to back suplex but gets punched in the face and clotheslined down. Off to Jarrett as Greene is on commentary now. Stevie comes in and pounds on Jarrett in the corner before slamming him down. We cut to the commentators so we can see that Greene is in fact wearing a football jacket.

Off to Booker vs. Mongo again with the Horsemen taking over. Booker misses a charge into the corner but Stevie blasts Mongo in the back of the head to put him down. Stevie uses the power stuff to take over on McMichael before it’s back to Booker for a chinlock. Harlem Heat double teams to draw in Jarrett which allows for even more double teaming.

Stevie puts on another chinlock so we cut to the announcers again. Mongo comes out of nowhere with a powerslam to Booker and it’s hot (?) tag to Jarrett. Jeff fires off dropkicks to take over and everything breaks down. Mongo realizes Greene is with the announcers and walks off for a brawl. Jeff puts Booker in the Figure Four but Stevie breaks it up and a Hart Attack with Booker hitting a side kick instead of a clothesline gets the pin for the Heat.

Rating: D+. This was long and not interesting. The problem is there’s no reason for these guys to be fighting and the main story of the match was about the football players fighting, which I don’t think anyone was interested in seeing. Just like last week: these matches have almost no meaning because the Outsiders never defend the belts, so these guys are all fighting for nothing.

Jarrett says that might be the last straw.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff to end the show. Hogan says the title is on the line right now if Sting wants to face him for it. Bischoff says unfortunately Sting isn’t here tonight. They turn their backs to the camera and Sting pops up through the mat. And of course it’s the fake one and the announcers are fooled.

The NWO Sting stays on his knees in front of Hogan and nods when asked if he’s half the man Hogan is. He bows down to Hogan and the real Sting repels into the ring. There’s a Death Drop for Bischoff and Hogan falls over the bowing fake Sting. The real one beats up the fake one and here come the troops. Sting flies into the rafters again to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This started off hot but slowed way down afterwards. Having Hogan around helped a lot and you can see that they’re building to Sting vs. Hogan eventually. I don’t think anyone expected it to take another seven months, but it was worth it in theory. As for the rest of the show, it wasn’t bad but as always, the show is better when the bigger names are in play.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Monday Night Raw
Date: April 1, 2002
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 9,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This was requested for some reason that I can’t remember. It’s the first show after the Draft and Flair is officially in charge. I’m assuming that’s the reason, but why anyone would want to see a show from 2002 is beyond me. Anyway, the main thing tonight is finding out where Austin is signing, and considering that pretty much EVERY face of value is on Smackdown, the answer shouldn’t be that hard. Let’s get to it.

If you’re interested in seeing how this show was set up via the Draft, here’s the review of it:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/10/11/monday-night-raw-march-25-2002-first-wwe-draft/

We open with Flair in the back holding the Undisputed World Title. He says this is the beginning of a new era and he’s going to do everything he can to ensure Austin signs with Raw. Also he’s going to present the new title belt to HHH.

Across the Nation debuts as the new Raw theme song.

The Titantron is the tilted one now instead of the regular rectangle. I think you call that a parallelogram.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Booker T

Rob is defending. The idea that everything is new is being pushed strongly here. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking over via a hurricanrana. The stepover spin kick puts Booker down again but Rob charges into a hot shot to give Booker control. A knee drop sets up a chinlock by the challenger as things slow down. Van Dam comes back with some forearms and a monkey flip followed by the top rope kick for two.

Booker gets in a shot to the ribs but the ax kick misses. Rolling Thunder misses as well and there’s the Spinarooni and a side kick for two. The twisting sunset flip out of the corner gets two and a superkick puts Van Dam down. Booker loads up a superplex but gets knocked off and the Five Star retains the title. That was a quick ending.

Rating: C-. This was pedestrian to put it best. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it felt like they were just a step ahead of going through the motions out there. It’s not a bad match or anything like that, but even for a TV match this wasn’t that good. The ending didn’t help anything either.

Post match Eddie Guerrero returns after being off TV for almost a year earlier to beat up Van Dam.

Here’s Vince because he was gone from Raw for over six days and that’s too long. He’s here to pitch to Austin about coming to Smackdown. Security comes out but Vince won’t leave, so here’s Flair. Vince says money will talk with Austin so Flair throws Vince out. Vince won’t leave, so Flair says he’ll get Austin to come to Raw and we get a poll from the audience. Vince still won’t leave so Big Show comes out and carries him to the back. This accomplished nothing other than wasting about five minutes.

After a break we see more of Vince being carried out. What is the point of this? Vince has a mic with him for no apparent reason. He tries to take it back but Show literally throws him out of the building.

William Regal vs. Spike Dudley

Regal is European Champion but this is non-title. Regal is doing the brass knuckles thing at this point and slips them into a turnbuckle. Nick Patrick steals them back when Regal isn’t looking, so I’d bet on a fishy ending. Regal pounds Spike down with ease and beats him up for a bit with Spike trying to use speed where he can. A half nelson suplex sends Spike to the floor which goes nowhere. Back in Regal goes for the knuckles but can’t find them. Spike hits the Dudley Dog out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as no one cared about the European Title at this point. Not that the title was on the line, but it set up a rematch for the belt next week which Spike would win before dropping it back to Regal a month later. The title would be gone in July so it’s not like this mattered for the most part. Nothing match either.

The NWO goes to what used to be the APA’s office and take it over. Keep in mind that the APA broke up on Smackdown and left their office in disarray and it’s in the same kind of disarray here on Raw, even with the cards on the floor.

Crash tells Bradshaw what just happened and he’s not pleased. Jackie leaves with Bradshaw and no one cares.

Trish is getting ready by bending over when Terri comes in. Trish is on the cover of the Divas magazine and Terri isn’t happy. Flair comes in and makes a paddle on a pole match.

Debra is outside Austin’s locker room and says Austin will decide tonight.

Bradshaw tries to beat up the NWO but the numbers catch up with him.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Raven is defending. Bubba takes over to start and drops some elbows before sending Raven to the floor. Our first weapons: a bag of oranges. Bubba stops to juggle and then blasts Raven in the head. Bird Boy comes back with a crutch and we head back inside. The Bubba Bomb is countered by a low blow and Raven beats on Ray with trashcan lids. A sleeper from Raven is countered by a stop sign shot as Lawler talks about the paddle match. Apparently the girls will be in bikinis.

Ray gets two off a Samoan Drop but Raven sprays him with a fire extinguisher while Bubba is loading up the backsplash. Ray doesn’t get down though and after a trashcan lid shot to Raven, the backsplash ACTUALLY HITS but only gets two. Not that it matters as the Bubba Bomb gets Bubba the title a few seconds later.

Rating: C. To give you an idea of what the Hardcore Title was doing in 2002, Ray won his first title here and would win his seventh before May. The title would change hands over 140 times in 2002, and it was retired in August. Think about that for a minute. Anyway, this was the start of Ray being built up over the summer before being fed to Lesnar and HHH, which probably was the right move.

Vince is on the phone in his limo. He says he’s not leaving and he’s signing Austin tonight.

Here’s Flair with the Undisputed Title to present to HHH. Flair talks about how important the title is and asks HHH to come out here but instead it’s Undertaker. He doesn’t like what’s going on here because Flair is insulting him by doing this. Taker says he should be champion because he beat Flair at Mania. Uh…ok. The fans give him the WHAT chant so Taker says to say what if you like to sleep with your own sister. Audience: WHAT! Note to self: don’t go to Albany to pick up women.

Oh wait there’s another reason Taker should be champion: he beat HHH at Mania, a year ago to the day actually. Taker thinks that’s showing him up and disrespecting him. The big man takes off the coat but here’s HHH. I’ve always liked the Undisputed Title but the big eagle one, as in the Attitude Era title and the Big Gold Belt are just perfect looking.

HHH says he’s the champion and that Taker can’t beat him again. Taker asks for a title match at Backlash and HHH says it’s on. HHH wants to fight now but Taker bails. The match would never happen because Smackdown got the first title match on PPV. Obviously that begs the question of why this segment took place, and the obvious answer is it’s 2002 Raw.

Hardy Boys vs. Mr. Perfect/Big Bossman

That’s quite the heel team. The Hardys’ music sounds faster here. Apparently it’s just Boss Man now. Jeff is sent to the floor and the two dead guys double team the brothers. Boss Man and Matt start with the Hardy in trouble. Boss Man misses a charge in the corner and starts drooling. Off to Jeff and the Hardys botch a double team move on Boss Man. To say this isn’t clicking is an understatement. A spinebuster from Boss Man gets two on Jeff as Matt saves. Perfect is sent to the floor and the Twist/Swanton pins Boss Man.

Rating: D. This was probably the worst Hardys match I can remember in years. They just weren’t clicking at all out there and the match was a total mess. It’s hard to suggest that Perfect and Boss Man were the problem as they aren’t known to be sloppy. Nothing to see here at all and the match basically sucked.

Post match, Brock Lesnar comes out and destroys the Hardys. He had only debuted two weeks ago so this was still new stuff.

Terri vs. Trish Stratus

Paddle on a pole. They’re in bikinis and I think you can figure this one out for yourself. Trish wins in like 80 seconds. Nothing of note happened in between.

Molly comes out and beats up Trish with the paddle before Terri can get spanked. This is a heel turn for Molly.

Vince still can’t get back inside.

Austin wants Flair to let Vince in the building so he can hear Vince’s pitch.

We get a clip from Smackdown with Rock, Hogan and Kane getting ready for a six man. Kane: “Rock are you ready tonight?” Rock: “Well…” Kane: “IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU’RE READY!” Rock’s reaction is priceless, as is his reaction when Kane calls his fans Kannanites.

Kane vs. X-Pac

Pac attacks in the corner but Kane slams him down with ease. A gorilla press has X-Pac bouncing off the mat but he comes back with an enziguri to take Kane down to his knees. A sidewalk slam from Kane looks to set up a top rope clothesline but a distraction from Hall stops the big man. We head to the floor so the NWO can double and triple team Kane which somehow doesn’t get noticed by the referee.

Back in and Kane launches X-Pac through the ropes on a kickout, which is the problem with X-Pac wrestling guys Kane’s size: it’s almost ridiculous to think the offense is going to work. A missile dropkick puts Kane down and with Hall’s help, the Bronco Buster hits. Kane powerslams Pac down after shrugging off the offense and hits the top rope clothesline. Not that it matters as the NWO runs in for the DQ before the chokeslam hits.

Rating: D+. I know the guy is talented, but man alive I’m not a fan of X-Pac against bigger guys. This just didn’t work at all, just like their matches in 1999, as it’s hard to buy X-Pac as a physical threat to Kane when Rock can barely knock the guy down. Nothing to see here and the NWO never went anywhere on Raw.

Bradshaw makes the save post match. Kane’s pyro takes like 15 seconds to go off for some reason.

Vince is back inside.

Here’s Flair with a contract to offer Austin. Vince comes out with a contract of his own and I don’t see this being much of interest. Vince talks about his intellectual sperm inventing pro wrestling (I kid you not he actually said that) and talks about inventing Pay Per View 16 years ago (it was 17 when their first PPV aired but whatever). Austin finally comes out to shut Vince up.

Vince immediately sucks up to Austin by praising the new WHAT shirt. Austin doesn’t care but asks about Vince’s contract. We get the WHAT stuff for a bit when it was still relatively new. Austin reminds Vince of all the issues they’ve had in the past and asks Flair if Flair wants Austin to come to Raw. After doing his best Daniel Bryan impression and saying YES about ten times, Flair gets nowhere. Both offers intrigue Austin but he agrees to sign with Vince. Vince gloats but Austin reminds him that it’s April Fool’s Day and there’s a Stunner for Vince. Austin and Flair drink, Flair gets stunned, Austin signs with Raw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Read those last two paragraphs. That took almost thirteen minutes to get through. That sums up this whole show: a lot of time being wasted with almost nothing at all being accomplished. Raw in 2002 was nothing but a nightmare with Austin being the only top face on the show and he was a shell of his former self. The Brand Split took a long time to work and it never got to a point where it was great at all. Terrible show here with short and bad matches and an ending that doesn’t mean much of anything, given how obvious it was that Austin was coming to Raw.