Back to the girls with ODB.

ODB got her start around 2003 but we’ll be picking her up in OVW in a three way match on October 15, 2006.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. ODB vs. Katie Lea

Beth is defending. I always forget how good looking Katie is. There’s barely any contact made for the first minute until Beth gets double teamed down. A double hiptoss puts Beth down again but as is always the case in a threeway, ODB goes after Katie like a dolt. Beth is right back up and we get into the three way brawl again.

Katie gets two with a small package on ODB and a rollup gets the same. Now Beth steals a pin of her own but ODB is all ticked off. The fall away slam from ODB gives Beth a two count, so ODB rams her ten times into her crotch in the corner (it’s the turnbuckle but the crotch is funnier or something). We take a break and come back with ODB holding Katie in a bearhug and Beth down in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker on Beth gives ODB another two count but Katie makes the save.

That doesn’t please ODB so she puts Katie in the Tree of Woe before sending Beth face first into Katie with a drop toehold. We get the triple sleeper spot which goes nowhere as always. Beth rips a turnbuckle pad off but gets slammed down by both challengers. She can’t get a chair in but Katie can get a side slam on ODB for two. ODB goes up and the other girls fight over who gets to slam her down.

They finally settle on a Tower of Doom with Beth powerbombing Katie who superplexes ODB. Beth gets two on Katie but Lea sends Beth out to the floor. The champion picks up the title and knocks Katie silly but ODB makes a last second save. Beth lifts ODB up in a fireman’s carry but Serena runs in to spear Phoenix down for a DQ. In a triple threat?

Rating: B-. Good stuff here until the odd ending. I’m guessing they were hoping to keep the challengers strong, but there comes a point in a fifteen minute match where they’re not going to lose anything by not picking up the title. This was a solid match and yet more proof that there are good looking women who can have good matches.

Another OVW match, from some point in the first five months of 2007.

ODB vs. Melody

Melody would become as much of a blonde bombshell as you can get, though she has purple hair here. ODB comes out with a glittery cooler and her Miss OVW sash. Women’s Champion Katie Lea sits in on commentary to brag about manipulating Melody and hating ODB. ODB runs over Melody to start but misses a charge in the corner. A bad looking elbow to the back of the head gets two for Melody and she puts on a choke.

ODB fights back and runs Melody over as Katie brags about being the toughest English wrestler in the world. A fall away slam puts Melody down and ODB sits on the top rope for ten rams into the buckle (which was supposed to look like her crotch because that’s funny). ODB’s middle rope Thesz Press gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was just storyline stuff for the ODB showdown with Katie Lea where ODB would take the title. Melody was there for how she looked in shorts instead of anything resembling skill, making her perfect for a women’s wrestler at this point. Nothing to the match but it did what it was supposed to do.

ODB would head to TNA in late 2007 with one of her first singles matches coming on January 17, 2008’s Impact.

ODB vs. Angelina Love

The idea here should be obvious. ODB jumps Love as she comes in and hammers away, much to the crowd’s delight. A kick to the face looks to set up a Thesz Press off the middle rope but Angelina notices the flying ODB and steps to the side. Angelina gets two off a jawbreaker and the Botox Injection (not yet named) gets two. ODB comes back with a powerslam for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D+. ODB’s charisma helped here and thankfully this was still a fresh match at the time. Angelina was still figuring out her character at this point but she had the tight tops and pants down already. ODB would get a nice push in the coming months and was already #1 contender at this point.

Here’s her title shot, at Against All Odds 2008.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Awesome Kong

They pull each others’ hair and ODB tries a slam which fails completely. ODB hits the floor and Raisha Saed, Kong’s mouthpiece, gets in her face. Back in and ODB is sent into the corner and a splash crushes her. Out to the floor again with Kong in control but her knee is hurting. ODB grabs her chest which is enough to wake her up somehow.

This is dull as all goodness if you didn’t get that. Kong tries the powerbomb but ODB fights her off and sits on the top rope. Kong hits the spinning backfist to the head and we’re back on the mat again. Thesz Press is caught so ODB, who isn’t a small girl by any means, tries a dropkick. The Thesz Press from the middle rope gets her down though but she still can’t slam Kong. Implant Buster gets two.

ODB nips up to avoid a middle rope splash and slams Kong for two. Gee maybe if it was bigger than a slam it would have worked. She gets a shot from her flask to wake her up. ODB can’t put Kong down still though. She hits Saed though and there’s the spinning backfist and the Awesome Bomb from Kong to retain.

Rating: D-. This was sloppy, dull, not interesting and just weak overall. They tried but the similarity of styles hurt it too much. You need power vs. speed rather than power vs. power. It took the Beautiful People to stop Kong and they were a breath of air into the division. This was pretty weak though.

With ODB being the uncouth one, she would be put in a feud with the Beautiful People. This set up a Bimbo Brawl, meaning a street fight, at Bound For Glory 2008.

ODB/Rhaka Khan/Rhyno vs. Beautiful People/Cute Kip

Traci Brooks is referee here and comes out to a cover of Rag Doll by Aerosmith. Just Skye and Love at this point. This is a Bimbo Brawl apparently. You know because 6 person tag is just too hard to say I guess. Kip gets in the face of a Detroit Tiger who is in Chicago just because I guess. ODB and Velvet start us off.

West tries to convince us that Rhyno and Kip are very similar physically. And people wonder why he was replaced. Genders can intertwine here apparently. Basically the Beautiful People keep trying to get various shots in, none of which work. Everyone keeps hiding from Khan other than Kip. Both of them go for chokeslams. She grabs his balls as this is going absolutely nowhere.

Khan is really bad in the ring to put it mildly. Why does ODB think she’s hot? Makeup box to ODB’s head sends her to the floor. ODB spanks herself to get fired up for…a tag. Thankfully the guys come in as the girls just aren’t that good at this point. Fameasser is blocked as Rhyno just stands up and Gores Kip to end it.

Rating: F+. And that’s only for Velvet. This was just boring as all goodness with six minutes of the girls doing nothing, leaving Rhyno as the best person in there. Let that sink in for a bit. Just a bad match that never did anything at all of note. At least it was short I guess.

Around this time, ODB would get a boyfriend in the form of Cody Deaner, who won a contest to spend a night with her. This led to exactly what you would expect, which we’ll get back to later. While not champion yet, ODB was one of the most over Knockouts on the roster and would be entered in the Queen of the Cage match at Lockdown 2009.

Madison Rayne vs. Sojourner Bolt vs. ODB vs. Daffney

This is Queen of the Cage which I think is just a fatal fourway for the name Queen of the Cage. Rayne is fairly new here. Apparently the winner gets a title shot. Deaner is with ODB. Daffney was the Governor recently as TNA decided to have a Sarah Palin character. ODB gets some Liquid Courage to make things all good. There’s an album pitch in there somewhere.

I’m pretty sure this is just the first fall wins it. Yeah that’s what it is according to West. Everyone beats down ODB and then the other three have a little thing. Deaner slips the flask through the cage to her which fires her way up. Daffney hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Bolt. More drinking from ODB which is spat into Bolt’s face and a powerslam ends it.

Rating: D. Yeah I hated this. It was like six minutes long and was based around the joke of her more or less being an alcoholic. This was a waste of time and the ending was about as clear as a glass of water. Deaner and the whole white trash angle made Noble and Nidia look good. Not a fan of these matches at all.

Her title shot came at Hard Justice 2009.

Knockout Title: Velvet Sky/Angelina Love vs. Cody Deaner/ODB

Ok so Angelina is champion here and it’s a tag match with a guy fighting for the women’s title. Just go with it. Madison is with the blondes here. Angelina and ODB start us off here This is a rather basic match here and Angelina looks far better with fewer tattoos on her arm. Velvet comes in and do you really think it matters what goes on in this? Deaner comes in and spanks Velvet a bit.

Angelina comes in and gets a quick two on ODB. The heels take over as you would expect them to here. Velvet is rather red from the spanking. I didn’t need the image of Deaner doing that. Seated dropkick gets two for Angelina. Deaner comes back in and kisses both blondes. Make that all three of them as Madison takes some tongue apparently. The girls finally get it together and beat up Cody, only for him to avoid some hairspray from Madison and roll up Velvet for the pin and the title for ODB. Deaner would claim he was the real champion, because that’s how TNA rolls.

Rating: D. Yeah this was a mess. Velvet is hot as is Angelina, but ODB and Deaner were the focus here and I don’t see the need to have Deaner involved here at all. I think this led to Madison being tossed out of the team but that could have been done in a singles match also. Weak match and a stupid angle.

The title would be stripped soon, setting up ODB vs. Deaner at No Surrender 2009.

Knockout Title: Cody Deaner vs. ODB

Oh and these two used to date. That needs to be thrown in for no apparent reason. Naturally it’s a comedy match with ODB dominating. Low blow doesn’t work on ODB of course because she doesn’t have balls. Out to the floor and she dives on Deaner to take him down. Deaner isn’t allowed to punch her apparently which wasn’t announced but the referee says so and that’s law I guess.

Deaner slams her as this turns into ever other man vs. woman match with the guy doing very basic stuff to her and it’s supposed to be all devastating and no one cares. Deaner gets a shot from the flask so ODB grabs him by the balls as he comes off the middle rope. Thesz Press gets two for ODB and I remember watching this match, thinking if not begging that they wouldn’t let Deaner have the belt. Deaner and the referee argue into a rollup for two by ODB. There’s a comedy spot on a sunset flip and we’re finally done after a TKO to give ODB the title.

Rating: C-. Not a terrible match but the joke sucked and I don’t know how many people cared about ODB at the end of the day. At least she has the title and breasts which is the point of the title. Anyway pretty weak match here but it was at least somewhat competitive which is all you can ask for at times.

ODB would be champion heading into Bound For Glory 2009 with Deaner gone thank goodness.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB vs. Awesome Kong

ODB has beaten both of them already so we’ll just do it one more time I guess. Should be noted that this is the 5th match on the card, the fifth title match and the fifth match that isn’t a standard one on one or tag match. Think they’re overdoing anything here? Tara’s legs are awesome if nothing else. I never got the appeal of the ODB character at all.

Kong jumps both girls immediately but Tara goes right for her. And so much for that theory as Kong just crushes them. Middle rope splash misses both of them though and we get the rather sexy shirt rip off from Tara. She’d wear these tiny shorts and a Tapout shirt which she’d rip off to more or less reveal a half shirt. The faces fight over who gets the pin as it’s pure formula stuff here but FAR better than the Legends Title match.

Tara hooks the Tarantula but Kong makes the save, which isn’t really a save as you can’t get a submission there but you get the point. Tara gets into it with some fan that might be legit but I’m not sure. Upon further review it was Randy Couture’s wife who had wanted to do an MMA fight with Tara. All planned but TNA messed up the shot and didn’t see it. Why does this not surprise me?

Back in the ring Kong hits the middle rope splash on ODB, covering the entire front row in silicone. It gets two though as Tara makes the save. Implant Buster gets two as ODB kicks out on her own. Saed comes out and throws in a chair but Kong says no. She goes for a powerbomb on ODB and Saed slides the chair in again but ODB reverses into a face plant to the chair for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C-. Not a great match or anything but FAR better than the other one. There was a story and flow here rather than in the Legends match where nothing had any purpose it seemed. Everything worked here and while it’s not great it’s certainly watchable. Not bad here and definitely ok.

ODB would lose the title to Tara at Final Resolution. With everything changing in TNA, ODB would get a rematch for the title on the January 4, 2010 Impact.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Tara

It’s a brawl to start as ODB takes a shot from the flask. Tara stops her in the corner with an elbow before dropping ODB with a running clothesline. Some kicks to the ribs have ODB in trouble and a slam sets up the standing moonsault for two. Tara hooks a Tarantula followed by a slingshot flip legdrop and MAKE SURE TO FOLLOW DIXIE ON TWITTER! ODB counters the Black Widow into a rollup with tights (complete with going to a crowd shot when she pulled too far) for the pin and the title.

Here’s the rematch from Genesis 2010.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s hips to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the freaking Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon. ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

ODB would leave TNA for awhile before returning in 2011 as part of an alliance with Jacqueline because what would wrestling be without Jacqueline? Here’s one match from the pairing so we can move on to ANYTHING else. From July 7, 2011 on Impact.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB/Jackie

If Velvet wins, the two annoying girls leave TNA, despite technically not being in it right now. Velvet comes in through the crowd with a chair and takes out Jackie with a shot to the back. She and ODB start us off and Velvet is dominating. Jackie gets back in and the numbers start catching up with Velvet. We finally get down to regular tagging and never mind that as we’re back to the two on one at once. ODB tries to bring the chair back in but hits Jackie by mistake. A DDT by Velvet pins Jackie at 5:00.

Rating: D. The only good thing here was that ODB and Jackie are allegedly out of TNA now. The match wasn’t anything more than an ending to this story (I hope) and other than that it was just bad. Velvet isn’t that great in the ring and on her own she’s not capable of much physically other than looking good. Bad match.

Next up was a love story with Eric Young, leading to the two of them getting a Knockouts Tag Team Title shot because that’s how comedy in TNA works.

Knockout Tag Titles: ODB/Eric Young vs. Rosita/Sarita

The wedding is April 12. Oh great. Eric and Rosita start us off but Eric tags out to ODB with no contact. She takes Rosita down and misses the Bronco Buster. Sarita comes in and doesn’t do much so it’s back to Rosita. She takes a kick in the chest and a “spear” to set up the tag to Young. He does some cartwheels and takes off his pants. The girls hit on Eric and ODB gets mad about it. ODB cleans house and hits the Bam on Rosita before asking where Eric’s ring is. He can’t produce it so she kisses him and puts Eric on top of Rosita for the pin at 4:20.

Rating: F. I hate it I hate it I hate it. I HATE this angle and we’re going to have to put up with it for the next freaking month because we need COMEDY on this show because there’s so much going on we can’t even get the TV Champion on the show already, but we need time to have Eric strip every week.

Despite being a champion, ODB would barely wrestle. She would still be half of the Tag Champions when she had this match on October 18, 2012’s Impact.

Tara vs. ODB

Non-title and ODB yells at Eric on the phone for not being here. She’s still on the phone during her entrance. ODB grabs Tara and pounds away to start. Apparently Tessmacher gets a rematch next week. ODB puts her ring in her picket which can’t be a good thing. She slams Tara down and talks to Eric on the phone some more. Jesse gets his face shoved in ODB’s chest and it’s back to the phone. Tara keeps pulling ODB’s hair and let’s stop for more kissing. ODB takes a shot from the flak, spits it at Jesse, and hits the Bam for the pin at 3:14.

Rating: D. I hated this. I hate reality TV, I hate alcohol, I thought the phone thing was stupid, and I hate the booking of having the new champion lose four days after the title change. Oh and I hate women’s wrestling in general. Nothing to see here and I don’t care about anything that just happened.

Thankfully the titles would be stripped and retired in June 2013. ODB would only wrestle a handful of times in 2013, including this match at Hardcore Justice 2013.

Mickie James vs. ODB vs. Gail Kim

This is a hardcore match and not for Mickie’s title. ODB runs them over to start and hits her chest grabbing splashes on both girls in the corner. Mickie pulls her out of the corner but Gail isn’t interested in an alliance. Gail pounds on ODB as Mickie wedges a chair into the corner. ODB is whipped into said chair and the other girls get a stereo two count. Mickie rolls up Gail for two and they slug it out with until Gail is sent to the floor. Kim sends ODB back inside and goes to look for a weapon but gets a knee from Mickie instead.

James finds a kendo stick from somewhere and cracks ODB over the back before choking Gail with it. ODB comes back in and pounds on them with the stick before pulling one of her two bras out of the top to choke both girls with it. Mickie gets in a shot and puts on the figure four around the post as Gail chokes away but they can’t get along again. ODB gets a shot from the flask and sprays Mickie in the face but Gail breaks up the Bam. Another stick shot misses and ODB hits the Bam on Gail on the chair for the pin at 6:48.

Rating: D+. Did you know ODB was uncouth and does stuff that isn’t proper or whatever you call it? Don’t worry if you don’t because TNA will beat it over your head until you get the idea. The match was nothing special and felt more like a WWE style street fight with the really basic weapons and little more.

That and a few other wins were enough to get ODB a Knockouts Title shot on September 19, 2013’s Impact.

Knockouts Title: ODB vs. Mickie James

Mickie is defending. ODB easily turns back a sneak attack and pounds away on Mickie but gets dropkicked down for two. Mickie charges into an elbow in the corner but she pulls ODB down off the middle rope to take over. A spear puts Mickie down for two more and there’s the fall away slam to send Mickie to the floor. She wants a timeout but trips ODB up, catching her inside the ring skirt as we take a break.

Back with Mickie getting two off a neckbreaker and catching a charging ODB with a boot to the jaw. A hurricanrana out of the corner is countered into an ODB powerbomb to put both girls down. They slug it out with ODB taking over and putting Mickie down with a clothesline. Back up and a suplex is good for two on the champion but she catches ODB with a spinning kick to the face to take over again. Mickie loads up a tornado DDT out of the corner, only to have ODB counter it into the Bam for the pin and the title at 10:55.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but how many times can we have the same pairings over and over again in this division? Mickie is apparently leaving after this match, so who in the world is ODB supposed to fight now? Velvet? Brooke? Are either of them even active wrestlers at this point?

We’ll wrap this up at Final Resolution 2013 as ODB has lost the title but is out for revenge on Gail Kim’s monster Lei’D Tapa.

Gail Kim/Lei’D Tapa vs. ODB/Madison Rayne

Tapa throws Madison down to start so it’s off to ODB for the power showdown. ODB gets slammed with ease and it’s off to Gail as the announcers talk about a kickboxing show. The champion lays in some kicks before it’s back to Tapa for some choking. Tapa misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to Madison for some house cleaning. ODB is sent to the floor but Madison counters Eat Defeat into a backslide for the pin at 5:50.

Rating: D+. This was what it was. Madison is a good hand to have back and the new looks works very well for her, but bringing in one new girl isn’t going to help the division’s long term problems. Tapa continues to bore me to death every time I see her. She’s big and different looking and that’s the end of her appeal.

ODB is the epitome of a one note character that appeals to the lowest common denomenator. She can have some decent matches though and is full of charisma, which is more than I can say about most of the division. At the end of the day though, she suffers from the same problem all of the Knockouts have: we’ve seen all of these matches a dozen times, making it hard to get involved in the feuds again.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: November 7, 2013
Location: Cincinnati Gardens, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

It’s a big show this week for TNA as this is the start of their world title tournament, perhaps the final Impact outside of Orlando for a good while and it’s the 500^th episode. However, what has TNA been focused on with their new Impact 365 dead? The fact that Pacman Jones is back in TNA for a show or two.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with him, he’s the guy that was suspended from the NFL for a year and thought he’d make a quick buck “wrestling” (read as standing on the apron and making a cover here or there) in the mean time. Now he’s famous for being a decent football player that hasn’t gotten arrested in a few years. He’s been the focus for TNA in their internet videos late. Let’s get to it.

We open with Dixie in the back with Pacman when Mr. Anderson comes up. He doesn’t want any trouble but just a match with Bully. Dixie says she can make that happen.

We get a recap of AJ leaving and the announcement of the world title tournament via a voiceover similar to a movie trailer.

Pacman Jones and another Cincinnati Bengal are in the front row.

Here’s the Main Event Mafia, which is actually still a thing. Sting says the Mafia has accomplished its goals of keeping Aces and 8’s at bay and taking the world title away from Bully Ray. Today he can say mission accomplished, even though there has been a lot of trials and tribulation along the way. As of today, the Mafia is being put back up on the shelf. All of them have something they’re doing at the moment, such as Sting coming up short in the gauntlet match and the other three all being in the world title tournament.

Sting is going to be dealing with this thing called entitlement. He’s going to be dealing with those people that are trying to come in on top without ever having to pay any dues. Sting has respect for this business and hugs all three members of the team. He says he loves Joe and Angle but only hugs Magnus before walking away. Joe takes the mic and says he’s been denied a world title for far too long. The road to the title starts with Magnus and it’s going to go through Angle. They’re all friends, but Joe is going to remind them why they make far better enemies.

Magnus says that Angle is on a road to redemption but it’s also Magnus’ road to destiny. He loves Angle like a brother, but after he goes through Joe, he’ll mow Angle down if he has to. His goal is to become world champion but the fans don’t seem to have the same vision that Magnus has.

Angle is left alone in the ring and says Sting is right. They all have their own goals and his is to become world champion once again. He also wants to prove he’s Hall of Fame worthy, but last week he suffered a setback. Last week he was told he wasn’t cleared to compete, but since then he’s talked to his personal doctor….but here’s Roode with an interruption.

Roode says he’s embarrassed for Kurt because he keeps having to make excuses. Angle needs to be a man and admit that he’s lost twice in a row to the It Factor. Roode’s goal is the world title as well, and if he has to face Angle in the finals, he has no problem destroying him for a third time. Angle is cool with that but doesn’t want to wait for the finals so the fight is on now.

Angle is still in the ring after the break and says he’ll wait in the ring until he gets Bobby Roode even if it’s until next week. Roode comes right back out at him but security tries to break it up. The guys are finally split up after a few moments but Angle sprints up the ramp to get another piece. Joe, Magnus and Bad Influence come out to try to split them up and both guys are finally taken to the back.

The opening segment somehow keeps going with Bad Influence getting in the Bengals’ faces, only to have them come into the ring and slam Kaz and Daniels down.

Garrett and Knux say the condition of the club is none of the people’s business. Anderson comes up behind them and says that he just wants to talk. He says what they did to him was the best thing they’ve ever done to him. They need to get out of the club though because this isn’t what they started.

Velvet Sky vs. ODB vs. Brooke

Winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. Brooke and Velvet shake it a bit to start so ODB chests them down. A double Bronco Buster has Brooke and Sky in trouble but Brooke rolls ODB up for two. ODB gets knocked to the floor so Velvet can get a neckbreaker for two on Brooke. Velvet gets powerslammed down but Brooke takes her down and drops a top rope elbow to ODB. Everyone is down so here are Gail and Lei’D Tapa to watch as we take a break.

Back with a three way slugout with ODB taking over. Both girls put a half crab on Brooke at the same time. The alliance doesn’t last long as Velvet starts chopping away at ODB, only to be ran over again. ODB slams Brooke onto Velvet but goes to the floor to yell at Tapa and Kim. Brooke hits a dropkick through the ropes before clotheslining Velvet down. Everyone is back inside now and Brooke hits a cross body to take out both girls at once. Gail and Tapa get up on the apron and Gail comes in to break up In Yo Face to Brooke for a DQ at 9:45.

Rating: C-. Not the worst match in the world but the ending sucked. Since when are there DQ’s in a triple threat match? Velvet and ODB were their usual selves but Brooke looked a bit better than her typical performance here. The downside here is how obvious it was that the division is dying for some fresh blood though.

Post match Gail and Tapa destroy everyone (save for some forearms from ODB that staggered Tapa). Gail says it’s clear she has no competition so she’s issuing an open challenge to anyone from outside the company and if anyone beats her, they can have a title shot.

We get a video from AJ Styles of a title defense in AAA in Mexico.

Bully goes up to Knux and Garrett in the back and says he’s tired of being ignored. Knux goes on a rant about how this isn’t their club anymore but all about Bully. Ray says it’s because he’s president but Knux demands a vote tonight from all three of them and Taz. Knux storms off but Ray grabs Garrett and glares at him.

Dixie is on the phone, yelling at someone to fix the person who is humiliating her (presumably AJ). She hangs up when Ethan Carter III comes in. Dixie says he’s done a great job but they need to change their plan a bit. Tonight he gets to pick his opponent which he thinks will mean the end of the streak. Dixie says keep the intensity up.

It’s time for the Aces and 8’s vote. Ray comes out last and says his catchphrase but Garrett cuts him off by saying yes, they do know who he is. Before the vote can be taken, Anderson comes out to watch. Garrett votes that he’s finished and takes off his cut. Ray appeals to Knux but Knux says he doesn’t need Ray or the club. He takes off the cut as well, leaving just Tazz and Ray in the club.

Ray assumes that Tazz is going to vote with him, which Ray says we’re going to a tie, which goes to a president. Ray sucks up to Taz a bit before saying Tazz knows how to do what his president tells him to do. Tazz takes the mic and tells Ray to hit the brakes a little bit. They’ve been friends for a long time but have always done the right thing. The club has been about Bully’s agenda alone for way too long, so Tazz is done too. Ray says put those colors back on but Tazz says make him.

Ray yells at Anderson for ruining everything so Anderson throws out a challenge for a No DQ fight at Turning Point. Bully talks about Anderson looking up to Steve Austin, but Anderson has forgotten the first rule. Garrett and Knux jump Anderson so Ray can whip him with the chain while shouting DON’T TRUST ANYBODY. Ray says the Aces catchphrase and the team is still together. Yes, SERIOUSLY.

Back from a break with Bobby Roode coming up to the announce desk and promising to take Angle out tonight.

Ethan Carter III vs. Dewey Barnes

This is another rematch for Carter. Ethan runs him over to start and slams him face first into the mat out of a belly to back suplex. There’s a kick to the ribs but Dewey comes back with a dropkick in the corner and a neckbreaker but his missile dropkick misses. The Bulldog Driver (the 1 Percenter) ends Barnes at 2:25.

Joseph Park is eating candy corn in the back when Bad Influence shows up. Park says they’re bullying him while they suggest he’s Abyss. Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin (NFL players currently involved in a bullying scandal) references are made until Eric Young comes in to make science jokes and set up a tag team match.

Bad Influence vs. Eric Young/Joseph Park

Eric gets double teamed to start but sends Bad Influence into each other. Park comes in for some work on the arm but it’s back to Young for an Ultimo Dragon headstand in the corner. Kaz is sent to the floor for a suicide dive from Eric and a cross body back inside gets two. Young is sent to the corner for a Flair Flip plus some strutting on the apron, only to have Kaz knock him out to the floor. Back inside and Bad Influence lays him out with Daniels getting two off a clothesline to the back of the head.

A Kaz distraction prevents the referee from seeing the hot tag to Park but Young ducks a clothesline, sending Bad Influence into each other again. Now the hot tag brings in Park and there’s a Boston Crab on Kaz. Daniels makes the save but everything breaks down. Daniels whips Young knees first into the steps before picking up the bell ringer’s hammer. That goes nowhere so he picks up the Appletini to blind Park, allowing Kaz to crucifix him for the pin at 4:38.

Rating: D. Just a match here for the most part with nothing significant happening at all. We’ve seen these teams fight several times now and nothing has really been accomplished as a result. The only interesting thing here is the difference in comedy. Young and Park have hammered their jokes so far into the ground that they haven’t been funny for months. Bad Influence on the other hand at least keeps their comedy moving, which keeps them feeling much fresher. It’s a nice breather.

Post break here’s Angle again, saying he’ll be out here if Roode wants a piece. Instead he gets Austin Aries who says he respects everything Angle has done, but if Angle doesn’t bring his best, he has no chance. Dixie pops up on screen and spins the Wheel of Dixie to make it a submission match next week. Aries says good luck and walks away but Roode comes in from behind to jump Angle and beat him down against the steps. Aries makes the save so Angle will be at 100% next week. That’s nice of him. Angle throws Aries to the side to get at Roode but so Aries goes after Kurt until security breaks it up.

TNA World Title Tournament First Round: Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Sabin

This is Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC but you win by pin or submission. Sabin is sent into a chair in the corner to knock him to the floor, allowing Hardy to hit a clothesline off the apron to take Chris down again. Sabin comes back with a ladder to the ribs as we head back inside for a rolling cutter onto the ladder for two on Hardy. Jeff comes back with a backdrop to send Sabin onto the ladder in the corner and blasts Sabin with a garbage can.

Jeff sets up a table in the corner but Sabin hurricanranas out of whatever Hardy was setting up. Hardy gets crotched on the top and is caught in the Tree of Woe so Sabin can rip at his EARS. That’s just painful looking. A baseball slide dropkick sends a chair into Hardy’s face and Sabin stands on his groin in the corner. Hardy is able to blast Sabin in the back with a chair despite hanging upside down in a nice counter.

Poetry in Motion connects in the corner and a clothesline sends Sabin out to the floor. Hardy lays him on a table and goes up top but misses a dive, crashing through the table as a result. Back in and Sabin puts Hardy on a table but his splash hits knees. It still drives Jeff through the table though so I’m not sure how much good it did him. Jeff scores with a quick Twist of Fate and sets up the ladder for a Swanton off the top to send him to the next round at 10:45.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be. It wasn’t anything that set the bar any higher, but it was what they advertised it as: complete mayhem with both guys destroying each other and a huge spot to end it. I fear for Jeff’s ability to move when he’s 54 years old, but the entertainment is good while it lasts.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a much better show than what TNA has been throwing at us lately but it was far from perfect. I really liked the Angle vs. Roode stuff which made me feel like they wanted to kill each other. It would be better if they were meeting in the tournament, but there’s always the chance that they could cost one another their matches to set up a showdown somewhere in the future.

On the other hand, we have Aces and 8’s. That’s my problem with them: they’re still around. This group has been around nearly 18 months at this point and shouldn’t have made it half that long. I have no idea why this team is still around and I have no idea what TNA sees in them anymore. It’s Ray and two goons who have never accomplished anything on their own but we’re still supposed to care about them?

Overall the show was decent tonight but there was too much stuff that went nowhere, such as pretty much everything other than the main event and Angle vs. Roode. I liked tonight’s episode, but I have zero faith in TNA to make this last at all. Maybe it’ll be good for a few weeks, but long term planning is TNA’s Kryptonite. Actually scratch that as it would imply TNA is Superman. We’ll say it’s their……whatever the weakness is of Carrotman.

Results

Gail Kim vs. ODB vs. Brooke went to a no contest when Gail Kim interfered

Ethan Carter III b. Dewey Barnes – 1 Percenter

Bad Influence b. Joseph Park/Eric Young – Crucifix to Park

Jeff Hardy b. Chris Sabin – Swanton Bomb off the top of the ladder

 

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So the big stories at the moment are Hogan possibly leaving after October 1, TNA possibly taking Impact off the road by the spring and Mickie James’ contract expiring and her walking away.  We’ll lump these together into one post and say…..1. This is I believe the third time in four years that it appears Hogan won’t be at Bound For Glory no matter what I believe?  At the end of the day, Hogan is probably more trouble than he’s worth.  I’d assume he’s the highest paid guy in TNA and he’s on TV about five minutes a week anymore.  I doubt Hogan is leaving forever, but I can’t imagine he won’t be at BFG.

2. Impact off the road would probably be a good thing.  It has to cost a good deal of money for them to change venues every other week and with only four regular PPVs a year, the financial burden must be weighing them down.  Yeah it’s annoying to have it in the same place every week, but if it’s what keeps them financially sound, so be it.

3. Mickie James leaving puts them at four active Knockouts: ODB, Velvet Sky, Gail Kim and Tessmacher, who hasn’t been in a match for months now.  Taryn is on maternity leave and will be gone for months.  But remember people: Ivelisse just doesn’t have what it takes to be on Impact.  All she has are looks, ability, charisma and in ring abilities, plus an appeal to the Latino demographic.  Just not worth it.

 

In short, TNA is in a big state of flux at the moment and it’s hard to say where it comes out.  It should be interesting though.

Knockout Knockdown
Date: September 6, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s time for another one of these shows because having four months between regular PPVs is perfectly fine in TNA. Tonight’s theme is pretty obvious: it’s all about the girls with a bunch of singles matches and the winners going into a battle royal to determine who is the best Knockout EVER. In other words, it’s the same one idea show as the tag team and X-Division shows. Let’s get to it.

The opening video basically says it’s all about the Knockouts and that’s it. Oh and it’s produced by Brooke Hogan so she can get her name on something else.

All of the Knockouts come to the ring to open the show. A lot of these girls are from OVW or have never appeared in TNA before. They’re here for a speech from Brooke to make sure we know she exists. She explains the tournament like it’s a regular tournament despite everything else I can find saying it’s a battle royal at the end with the winners of the previous match.

We get a clip from Bound For Glory 2007 where Gail Kim beat Roxxi Leveaux in the final match of a gauntlet match to become the first champion.

Gail Kim is in the back and lists off her accomplishments and says she’ll be the winner tonight. Madison Rayne pops in and says it would be awesome for Gail to become the new Queen of TNA.

Gail Kim vs. Alissa Flash

Flash is more famous as Cheerleader Melissa and Raisha Saed in TNA. Gail grabs a headlock to start as Taz complains about being ranked too low in PWI one year. Now it’s on to the Cauliflower Alley Club as Flash counters into an arm crank, only to have Gail take her down with relative ease. Flash comes back with a German suplex to send Gail to the outside for a breather.

A quick chase scene goes nowhere until Gail sends her into the barricade to take over. Back in and Gail chokes away before getting two off a missile dropkick. Off to an Octopus Hold (AJ’s Black Widow, even though the Octopus Hold is normally the name of a different hold entirely) but Flash counters into something resembling the Edgecator. Gail gets to the ropes and manages to kick Flash in the head to escape.

Flash goes nuts for a second and pounds away before taking Gail down with a Samoan drop. Some clotheslines put Gail down and Flash hits some rapid fire punches in the corner. Something like a curb stomp gets two and a missile dropkick gets the same for Alissa. A dragon screw leg whip puts Gail down but Alissa walks into Eat Defeat out of nowhere for the pin.

Rating: C+. The abrupt ending aside, this was a nice match. As annoying as Gail has become due to always being on Impact, she can go in the ring when she has someone to work with. Flash was solid out there as well which shouldn’t surprise anyone who has seen her indy stuff. Good stuff here but I have a feeling it’s downhill from this point on.

Video on Lei’D Tapa who has only been wrestling for two years now. She cries because her uncle, the Barbarian, is so proud of her. I think this is her Gut Check video. It still should have been Ivelisse.

We get Ivelisse’s Gut Check video as well. Again, she has more experience, a better look, an MMA background (remember that the Gut Check with her and Tapa was around the time that Ronda Rousey was headlining a UFC show) and is very good looking, but she’s not the Barbarian’s niece so she has no future right?

Ivelisse vs. Lei’D Tapa

Tapa takes her down with ease and sends Ivelisse into the corner. Ivelisse gets all fired up and kicks Tapa back before a kick to the ribs sends Lei’D down. Tapa tries to sit down onto Ivelisse to block a sunset flip but only hits mat. A shot to the ribs takes Ivelisse down and a bad looking slam does the same. Ivelisse chops away but gets clotheslined back down followed by something like an AA for no cover.

Tapa chokes her down and pounds on Ivelisse’s back some more but charges into a kick in the corner. A bad looking rana (since Tapa is a freaking giant) puts Tapa down to the floor and a BIG dive takes her down again. The fans are into Ivelisse, giving TNA even more proof that they screwed up. Back in and Ivelisse puts on a guillotine choke but Tapa swings her forward into a slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. It still should have been Ivelisse. I still see absolutely nothing from her that would make me want to watch another one of her matches. She’s nothing special in the ring, she doesn’t talk that well and the fans don’t care. The ONLY thing she has going for her is her size but she’s not dominant like Kong was. She’s just big and that’s not enough to build a career on. I still haven’t heard a reason I agree with to pick Tapa but it’s another reason to criticize them.

We get a clip from BFG 2012 where Tara won the Knockouts Title and introduced Jesse Godderz as her Hollywood boyfriend.

Tara brags about being awesome and Jesse acts like a jerk of course.

Tara vs. Mia Yim

Yim is another indy chick that I’ve never seen before. Tara shoves her down to start before going to chill next to Jesse. A hiptoss puts Mia down as the announcers ignore the match with one of their stupid conversations about nothing at all. Mia comes back with some hiptosses to send Tara to the floor and a missile dropkick sends her right back outside. We get another chase with Jesse grabbing Mia’s leg to give Tara control.

Tara clotheslines her down for two but Mia Matrixes out of it in a nice counter. We hit the chinlock on Yim but she gets the knees up to block Tara’s standing moonsault. Mia comes back with a bunch of kicks and a Lionsault gets no cover as Mia injures her ribs. Instead a German suplex gets two on Tara but a Jesse distraction causes Mia to miss a corkscrew splash. The Widow’s Peak sends Tara to the battle royal.

Rating: C. Mia didn’t look bad here but there’s only so much you can show in six minutes. That’s part of the problem with this show so far: these matches, other than maybe the opener which has gotten more time than the other matches, feel like they belong on Impact. Granted we’re only 45 minutes in and the show hasn’t been terrible or anything yet.

Video on some campaign called Dare To Be, which is little more than a way to show a swimsuit photo shoot. Nothing wrong with that other than ODB. It basically turns into a music video with a lot of shots of a graphic for the Knockouts website.

Video of Tessmacher winning the Knockouts Title.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Santana

Santana Garrett is another indy chick who is rather good looking. Both girls pose on the corner to start with Tessmacher being more popular. Santana takes over with a quick clothesline and a Russian legsweep for two. Off to a Fujiwara Armbar on Tessmacher but she rolls through and kicks Santana in the head for two. Santana hits a low kick of her own for two and it’s off to a freaky looking double arm submission.

Tess fires off a headbutt and avoids a middle rope cross body before a forearm puts Santana down. A Stinkface annoys Santana so she slams Tess down but a Tajiri handspring into a moonsault hits knees. The Tess Shocker (the belly to back suplex into a face plant) gets the pin on Santana in a quick match.

Rating: C-. Santana is another chick who looked decent out there and Tessmacher was her usual self. You can take that line to mean whatever you like for it to mean. They probably did the right thing here by keeping things short as Tessmacher isn’t the kind of chick you want in a long match. Just have her look good on camera and get out of there quick.

ODB says she’s tough and doesn’t care who she’s fighting tonight. She’s fighting Trinity and promises to out drink her.

Now, for more proof that these are a waste of time, here’s the ENTIRE ODB and Eric Young wedding. Literally, they spent fifteen minutes showing us the ENTIRE SEGMENT. Are they that strapped for cash that they can’t take one of the girls in the three way tonight and thrown a few hundred bucks at some indy chick to give her the biggest match of her career? Instead we get this entire thing which really has nothing to do with the Knockouts. It’s a comedy angle that came and went and that’s about it. Egads what a waste of time.

ODB vs. Trinity

Trinity still looks good. She talks trash to start so ODB rubs her crotch at Trinity to show how classy she is. A clothesline puts Trinity on the floor for our first move in a minute and a half. ODB follows her out and rams Trinity into the apron before a LOUD chop fires the crowd up a bit. ODB uses a handshake to pull Trinity into a clothesline but Trinity takes her down and stomps a bit. This is going nowhere. ODB keeps crawling towards her flask before coming back with another clothesline. She finally gets the flask and goes nuts with a bronco buster for two. The Bam is good for the pin on Trinity to finally end this.

Rating: D. ODB isn’t classy. We get it already. Now do ANYTHING else. Trinity looked great in her attire but was nothing to see in the ring at all. Why I’m supposed to cheer a loud woman who rubs her crotch and can’t function in a wrestling match without alcohol is beyond me, but they’re going to push her forever anyway.

Video on Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell, including their awesome last Knockout standing match.

Taryn Terrell vs. Jackie Moore

In case you’ve never heard my opinion on Moore, we’ll keep it simple and say I wouldn’t mind if she was trampled by stampeding camels. Why she keeps getting spots on shows is beyond me, but I’m sure she can shout really loudly and explain why, because shouting really loudly is just as good as anything else right?

Jackie pounds away but Taryn comes back with an elbow to the face. Terrell pounds away in the corner but Jackie slams her down and calls her Barbie. Some hair drags have Taryn down even more and we hit the chinlock. A back elbow drops Taryn for two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and a double clothesline puts both girls down as the crowd isn’t all that interested. Taryn fires off some clotheslines and gets two off a clothesline. A middle rope clothesline puts Jackie down and a spear gets two more. Taryn misses a middle rope bulldog and Jackie dropkicks her down for the pin. Just go with it.

Rating: D. At the beginning of this show, we saw a video of the Taryn vs. Gail match and heard about how great it was. We then got a long video about their entire feud. Instead of having them meet in the main event, WE GET JACKIE FREAKING MOORE BECAUSE SHE’S LOUD AND WRESTLED MEN BEFORE AND THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE INTERESTING. The match sucked because Jackie Moore exists. Moving on.

Video on British Boot Camp to introduce us to the Blossom Twins.

Hannah Blossom is excited to be here even though her sister Holly is still in England.

Taeler Hendrix vs. Sojournor Bolt vs. Hannah Blossom

Hendrix was a Gut Check chick who got released, Bolt wrestled here for a bit a few years back and Blossom is a British blonde with a twin, both of whom wrestled in OVW for years before the Boot Camp show. Taeler looks great here. Before the match Bolt says since she’s been gone, no one has been bigger, better or blacker. Bolt and Hendrix tease an alliance as the fans chant USA.

We get a three way test of strength to start with Blossom getting double teamed. A double hiptoss puts Hannah down and the argument begins between the “friends”. Hannah rams their heads together to take over, only to have Bolt take her down and grab a leg lock. Hendrix adds a chinlock at the same time to make the Brit scream. Taeler takes off her skirt to reveal some shorts, making the crowd love her even more.

Hendrix and Bolt chop it out as Taz and Tenay make stupid Twitter jokes. Bolt is sent to the floor so Hannah can take over on Taeler. Bolt pulls Hendrix to the floor and hits a Death Valley Driver for two on Blossom. Taeler and Bolt get in a shouting match before Bolt holds Hannah, only to have Taeler run Bolt over. A bicycle kick from Hannah takes Taeler down for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a shame that Hendrix is gone as the fans were eating her up with a spoon here. Bolt was fine and could work well in TNA and Hannah looked WAY better than I remember her in OVW. This was one of the better matches tonight but again with just five minutes it didn’t have time to go anywhere. At least we saw the wedding though right?

Another music video on the Knockouts.

Jillian Hall vs. Velvet Sky

You probably remember Jillian from her bad singing schtick in WWE which may or may not have been a Brooke Hogan parody. Jillian does the singing bit here which stopped being funny years ago. The fans are entirely behind Velvet as she accuses Jillian of a hair pull. Some forearms stagger Jillian and she charges into a boot in the corner.

Velvet sends her into the buckle over and over and spanks her for good measure. A bulldog gets two on Jillian but she sends Velvet out to the floor. Sky is sent into the steps so Jillian can ram her head into the mat a few times. A backbreaker gets two on Velvet as Taz shouts about Jillian fooling him or some nonsense like that.

Off to an arm crank from Hall before she stomps on Velvet’s back a bit. Sky blocks a suplex and hits a kind of front DDT to put both girls down. Jillian takes over and pounds away but a clothesline is only good for two. Jillian’s handspring elbow is countered into a victory roll but Hall drops down into a rollup for two (think Bret vs. Owen at WM X). Not that it matters as Velvet wins with In Yo Face a few seconds later.

Rating: D. Jillian was always all looks/gimmick and nothing in the ring, which can probably be applied to Velvet as well. The match was nothing of note but Taz and Tenay’s idiotic talking brought it down even further. There was nothing going on here but at least we got to look at Velvet for a few minutes.

Video on Mickie James’ career in TNA, mainly focusing on beating Madison in a cage at Lockdown in about 30 seconds.

Serena vs. Mickie James

Serena is the chick who used to be in the Straightedge Society but now she has long hair which really works for her. I believe this is before Mickie’s heel turn. They hug it out and shake hands to start. Taz: “WHAT THE HECK IS THIS???” Serena takes her to the mat as Tenay and Taz talk about Lance Russell for no apparent reason. Mickie gets caught in a headscissors on the mat but she bounces out, giving the male fans some nice shots. After some nice mat work it’s off to a wristlock by Serena leading to a standoff.

They shake hands again as Taz loudly shouts HARDCORE COUNTRY over and over. Mickie rides Serena on the mat a bit and Serena can’t armdrag out of it. A Jackknife cover gets two for James and an Oklahoma Roll gets the same. Back up and Serena wants a test of strength but Mickie shouts that she has bigger hands than Serena. Mickie takes her down to the mat but Serena bridges up to take over. Now it’s James with a bridge which Serena can’t even break by bouncing down onto her.

Mickie fights up and hits a basement dropkick to send Serena to the floor as this is by far already the best match of the night so far. Back in and Serena offers another handshake but pulls Mickie into a headlock to take over. A back elbow sends Mickie to the floor just like she did to Serena a few seconds ago. Serena blasts Mickie in the face as she comes back in as we have our mid match heel turn. Mickie is slammed head first into the mat by the hair for two and Serena poses a lot.

We hit the chinlock as Taz scores the match for some reason. Back up and Serena misses a charge into the post and Mickie gets a needed breather. They slug it out with both girls throwing haymakers and Mickie taking over. A clothesline puts Deeb down and the top rope Thesz Press (minus the Press) sets up the MickieDT for the pin on Serena.

Rating: B-. This was much better than anything else we had seen so far tonight. Deeb clearly knows what she’s doing out there and the long hair makes her look better than she did bald. I liked the idea of her turning in the middle of the match as it gave the match a bit of a story. Good stuff here.

We recap the show so far to set up the gauntlet.

Gauntlet Match

So apparently it’s the usual Royal Rumble style until we get to the final two where it’s pin/submission for the win. All of the winners from earlier in the night are involved. Hannah Blossom and Gail Kim get us going for presumably two minutes. Gail goes right at Hannah to start and takes her down with a backbreaker. Some corner choking has the Brit in even more trouble as this is one sided so far. Hannah comes back with a quick suplex and an elbow drop for a cover before realizing how the rules work. Not that it matters as Gail knocks her to the apron and then the floor for the elimination.

Lei’D Tapa is #3 after about a minute and fifty seconds, though they probably sped it up for the sake of time. Either that or it’s an actual gauntlet with the next person coming in after an elimination. Gail pounds on her in the corner to start but Tapa comes back with some power choking and a big boot to the face. Tapa can’t get her out due to a rake of the eyes and here’s Tara at #4. Tara goes after Lei’D but can’t lift her up in a fireman’s carry. Tapa takes her over to the ropes but Gail makes the same and the two normal sized girls double team the monster.

Mickie is #5 as Tapa beats on both other girls. James fires off kicks in the corner to the big girl and the other two help her out, only to be shoved away by Tapa. Tenay makes Andre the Giant comparisons and Taz goes off on him for stupidity, despite the comparison making sense. In a bad looking botch, Mickie tries a hurricanrana on Tapa with the other girls helping, only to see Mickie fall to the floor as well. She gets back in and it’s never acknowledged but it looked horrible. Either way it eliminates Tapa as Tessmacher is in at #6.

Tessmacher goes after Tara as Mickie and Gail fight for the 1000th time. Gail is sent to the apron but gets back in as Tara sends Tessmacher to the apron for the same result. Jackie Moore is in at #7 to bring the match down a few pegs. Gail and Jackie stomp on Tessmacher and Mickie kicks at Tara in the corner. ODB is #8 as everyone is laying around. She and Jackie get into it almost immediately before ODB opts to spank Tara a bit. ODB takes a shot from the flash and spits it in Jackie’s face before eliminating her.

Velvet Sky is #8, giving us a final grouping of Gail, ODB, Tara, Mickie, Tessmacher and Sky. Everyone pairs off as this is in full on traditional battle royal formula. Tessmacher kicks Mickie to the apron but can’t get her any further than that. Velvet and ODB wind up on the apron and slug it out with Velvet knocking ODB to the floor for an elimination. Gail easily eliminates Velvet and we’re down to four.

Gail and Tara throw Tessmacher out before double teaming James in the corner. Tara turns on Gail and hits the fireman’s carry into the side slam, allowing Mickie to get back up and hammer on Tara a bit. Mickie throws Tara out to get us down to two, meaning it’s Gail vs. Mickie, first fall wins. Gail is in early trouble and gets caught by the Thesz Press for two. Gail blocks the MickieDT but gets slammed out of the corner, injuring her ankle in the process. Mickie totally falls for it as the trainer comes out, but it’s a ruse (SHOCKING!) as Gail rolls up Mickie with a handful of shorts for the pin and the Miss TNA crown.

Rating: D. This was every gauntlet match you’ve ever seen: slow for the most part with a few nice moments, but for the most part it’s paint by numbers stuff. The ending was nothing special as the “match” was about a minute long with over half of that being spent on the fake injury. Not much to see here but at least it was longer than anything else.

Post match Madison comes out to give Gail her crown. Gail makes Madison leave after being crowned to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the Knockouts in general and this show in particular: the roster is so thin that we’ve seen almost all of the main matches ad nauseum. At the time this show aired, I believe there are four or five active Knockouts. Other than Taryn (who lost to the great and mighty Jackie Moore), almost no one new has been added to the division in over a year. There’s just nothing in the division and the final group of people here were the same girls we’ve seen forever. TNA desperately needs to bring in some fresh blood and the Blossoms, Serena, Flash or Ivelisse would be great places to start.

The show was nothing great with most of the matches just not having the time they needed to go anywhere. Also, there was WAY too much filler. I get the idea of a video here or there, but airing the ENTIRE fifteen minute wedding segment plus a bunch of other videos on a two hour and forty minute show is ridiculous. Again, I’m sure you could find one other girl to bring in and make the triple threat a singles match and pad out the show much better. There’s just nothing to see here and the show felt like it was just trying to fill in time until it was over.

 

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Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz

It’s the go home show for Lockdown and again there aren’t any spoilers for the show tonight. The main idea here will probably be the announcing of the teams for Lethal Lockdown, or the Garrett Bischoff Showcase, whichever you prefer to call it. Other than that we’ll likely get a face to face showdown between Roode and Storm. Let’s get to it.

Tonight is the ODB/Eric Young wedding.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to open the show. I’m still not sure how the stipulation of him never being able to use his own name again works, or why most fans would care about that but it’s something else I guess. He starts talking about Lethal Lockdown and the fans chant that they don’t care. He brings out his team: Bully Ray, Gunner, Kazarian, Christopher Daniels and….there’s no fifth man.

Ray wants to know if the fans know who Eric is. The fans again say that they don’t care. Ray is proud to go to war for Eric, but Eric has made one mistake. That mistake is Garrett. Eric says that tonight there’s a best of three series to determine who has the advantage. Gunner is ready for whomever Garrett’s team brings to the table. Speaking of Garrett here he is. The fans cheer for him so there’s validation for him to be on the show I guess.

He has his own team, comprised of Anderson….and I guess we have to wait for the rest of the best of three series to find out the rest.

Mr. Anderson vs. Gunner

We join the match in progress after a break with Anderson ramming Gunner’s head into the buckle. Anderson misses a charge into the corner and Gunner takes over as they head outside. Gunner tries to ram Anderson into the post but gets sent himself. He goes into the barricade face first a few times as well and they head back inside. Anderson drops him with a clothesline and a few elbows but Gunner comes right back. He’s so intense you know. Gunner grabs a rollup with tights for two. They slug it out and Gunner is sent into the post twice. Anderson chokes him into the corner and won’t let up on it, drawing the DQ at 4:47.

Rating: C. This wasn’t bad as Anderson was showing some fire for the first time in a very long time. He’s not interesting for the most part though and that really hurts him. Anderson is just kind of there for the most part and the same is true for Gunner. Neither guy does anything of note in the ring and it makes most of their matches boring. This was a bit different but not by much.

Young is in a poweder blue tux and glasses when Joseph Park shows up. Park asks Eric about a pre-nup which Eric thinks is a dog. Joseph asks Eric to think and the last thing he remembers is that Abyss was involved with Immortal. Joseph leaves Young a business card in case he needs anything. I like the Park character and it’s nice to see him FINALLY get somewhere with this.

Here are the Guns with no entrance and a title match on Sunday. They talk about how great they are and how Joe/Magnus haven’t teamed together long at all. Here are the champions for the semi-traditional tag team face to face talk. Magnus says he respects them (also traditional) but it’s not about who the best team ever is. It’s about who the best team today is, and the Guns are looking at it. A challenge is laid down to fight right now and the Guns are ready but here’s Mexican America to stop it. Anarquia says they should be in on this and both teams promptly destroy them.

Christopher Daniels vs. Austin Aries

Match #2 in the series for Lethal Lockdown advantage. Well at least it’s not AJ. Aries controls with a headlock to start but Daniels gets one of his own. They feel each other out a bit and Aries is moving better than Daniels here. The crowd has been hot all night too. Daniels charges into an elbow but Aries gets crotched as he goes up. Daniels tries a dive on the floor but Aries slides in and hits that sweet suicide dive of his.

Back in Aries takes him down and hits a handspring elbow drop for two. Sunset flip out of the corner gets the same. They trade some reversals and Aries tries to use tights but gets caught. Release Rock Bottom looks to set up the BME but Aries moves. He heads up and hits a missile dropkick followed by a running dropkick in the corner. The Brainbuster gets the clean pin at 5:32.

Rating: B. I’m not a fan of Daniels about 80% of the time, but this was a really fun match. Having Daniels getting away from AJ almost always proves to make him much more enjoyable, probably because it’s ANYTHING but him vs. AJ, but this was good stuff. Aries was flying out there and having him get the clean pin was a nice plus as he needs to get some wins over the bigger names on the show.

Here’s Hardy to cut a promo as they’re assembling the cage for the wedding. He talks about how Angle cost him the world title and on Sunday it all ends in a steel cage. They’re going to hurt each other….and that’s it. He only talked for about 40 seconds.

We get a promo from last Thursday where Storm rants about Roode disrespecting Montgomery Gentry.

Young is still giving himself a pep talk when Rosita and Sarita come in and hit on him. They want the titles back and imply that once the ring goes on his finger his life ends. They both flash him and Young turns them down.

It’s time for the wedding. Let’s get this over with. Eric comes out and is nervous. Here Comes The Bride plays and there’s no ODB. Oh ok she comes out to her theme music. So Cal Val locks them in the cage and Eric looks nervous. Young’s middle name is Cornelius. The minister isn’t thrilled with how strange this is. He says that the cage is symbolic of the strength and commitment needed for a marriage.

There’s a video of their history together which is set to a bad love song which sounds like something off an SNL parody. A lot of Bronco Busters are included. Eric seems quite proud after the video. The fans chant for ODB who looks nervous. They both have their own vows. Eric’s say he be with her no matter what she does and he’ll allow her to rub his feet whenever she wants because he knows she’s into that. She promises to not take his last name but she will take his ring music. She’ll also slap him when necessary because he’s into that. Apparently Eric gets sex whenever he wants.

The minister asks if there’s an objection and cue….Mexican America. Oh wait just the chicks. Didn’t they get repossessed or something? Sarita talks about flashing Eric in the back and says he can have the best Knockout tag champions ever. Rosita takes off her robe and dances in lingerie. He seems interested and ODB is crying. Sarita does the same sort of dance and ODB says she doesn’t have what they have. She does however have this, and she strips her dress off to reveal lingerie and a small flask of her own.

Eric turns to ODB and says he knows the missing ingredient now. He strips down to his underwear as usual but leaves the cummerbund on. They make the minister strip too. Eric says yes, ODB says yes, and ODB kisses him to the mat. This got nearly 14 minutes, or longer than almost two of the first match and the second match combined.

Flair gives Ray a pep talk.

Roode says he has no problem with the match vs. Storm being personal.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

The respective winning team gets the advantage in Lethal Lockdown on Sunday. Feeling out process to start before AJ speeds things up. Everyone is on the floor to watch this one including Flair. Ray sends him to the apron and a big boot puts AJ on the floor. Ray misses a splash and AJ speeds things up, hitting a clothesline and another in the corner.

Tornado DDT is countered and Ray hits a great Samoan Drop for two. Ray goes up but AJ nips up and hits a rana for two. Styles goes to the ropes but Kaz trips him, starting the big brawl. In the ring AJ hits the Pele for a delayed two. AJ gets distracted and Ray gets his chain. AJ tries the springboard forearm but jumps into the chain for the pin at 6:44.

Rating: C. Pretty fun match here as you would expect from both of these guys. I’ve heard rumors that Ray might be getting a world title reign this year and while I would initially think it’s company suicide, it’s no stupider than Garrett’s push. This was a pretty decent match for the most part with AJ doing his usual high flying and Ray being a decent power brawler. Good stuff.

And here’s Hulk to say that now it’s 5 on 5 and Bischoff has three minutes (commercial) to get his last guy.

Back and Flair wants to be the 5th guy but Eric says no. Eric thinks that Hulk is going to be the other team’s fifth guy so Eric wants to be in there so he can stand over Hulk. Hogan says he won’t he (as in Hogan) won’t be in the match but the fifth man will be…..Rob Van Dam. So to recap, we have a two time world champion, a former world champion, the hottest commodity in the company, and the most decorated man in the history of the company all as foot soldiers for GARRETT BISCHOFF. Also, could this match be any more one sided? Eric’s biggest name is who, Ray? But hey, it makes Garrett look good right?

Video on Roode vs. Storm, narrated by Roode. As usual, this was awesome.

We run down the card for Lockdown. I completely forgot about Morgan vs. Crimson.

Madison Rayne/Gail Kim vs. Mickie James/Velvet Sky

Velvet doesn’t do the pigeons thing and Taz is furious. Madison and Mickie start things off. Mickie tries to escape a wristlock so Maidson kicks her in the face. Off to Gail who walks into a flapjack. Velvet comes in and Gail runs over to tag. Sky isn’t in long and it’s back to Mickie who plays pretty face in peril. Mickie avoids a charge in the corner and it’s hot tag to Velvet. Madison makes the save off a bulldog so Velvet DDTs her. Gail tries to leave but Mickie throws her back in. In Yo Face is broken up but so it Eat Defeat. In Yo Face gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C-. Not a good match or anything but this was exactly what it needed to be. Velvet gets the pin on Gail to set up their match on Sunday and Mickie and Madison are there to keep the match from happening early. Now why is that such a complex idea for most other matches to get?

Time for the showdown with Storm and Roode. Storm talks first, talking about how they’ve been down the road together and gone to Japan as Beer Money, all while talking about how cool it would be to be world champion one day, then laughing because it wouldn’t happen. Roode says he isn’t going to pretend Beer Money didn’t exist, because it was a proud moment in his life.

However there’s another moment that Roode wants to talk about, and that’s when they both entered the BFG Series. They wrestled in the semi-finals and Roode wound up winning the tournament where he lost in the main event of Bound For Glory while Storm didn’t have a match. This is all accompanied by clips of what they’re talking about which helps a lot. Storm says he remembers that, and then the next week he beat the guy that beat Roode in record time.

Roode remembers two weeks later where he beat Storm for the world title. That was also the night he turned heel. Storm says that was the night that Beer Money’s legacy was destroyed. Roode says there was no legacy because they never were friends. They hated each other and only had success because of that hatred. Storm goes off on Roode for selling out and says his superkick foot is getting antsy.

Storm says this is leading to Nashville but Roode says that this isn’t about Nashville or Storm’s redneck wife and kids. Storm takes off the jacket and Roode says this is getting personal. He talks about Storm’s dead brothers and dead father and they go nose to nose…and we’re out of time as they’re still yelling. Solid segment but they threw a lot at us at once.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was pretty good, but as usual with TNA, if you don’t like the main angle they’ve got going on, you don’t have much of a reason to watch the show. When you look at this show, you get about five segments on Lethal Lockdown, one long one on the title match, a decent one on the tag titles, a match about the Knockouts, and that’s about it.

Angle vs. Hardy got 40 seconds and Crimson vs. Morgan was mentioned in the PPV preview and that’s it. There’s a TV Title match which wasn’t mentioned, but I didn’t expect it to be. In short, as always the problem is too much Bischoff. Lockdown should be good though, so that’s a good sign. Hopefully they don’t screw this up like they do everything else.

Results
Gunner b. Mr. Anderson via DQ when Anderson wouldn’t stop choking Gunner
Austin Aries b. Mr. Anderson – Brainbuster
Bully Ray b. AJ Styles – Ray pinned Styles after hitting him with a chain
Velvet Sky/Mickie James b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – In Yo Face to Kim

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