Ok so here we are. Again this is hopefully going to be a live review so if it comes off as odd don’t be surprised. This show was plagued by a lack of Raw build up show due to the volcano in Iceland. Even still though, this is a minor PPV as it’s just a rehash of the Mania feuds. This is the show where everything is a gimmick match which is always at least cool in theory. The main event is Batista/Cena in a last man standing match. Let’s get to it.

Opening video more or less says that Extreme rules. Cute. Incredibly stupid, but cute. Rey/Punk gets a higher billing than Edge/Jericho. That’s rather odd. Standard video package that sums up everything. WWE is very user friendly. It’s easy to step into any show and get what’s going on. That’s a HUGE perk for attracting new fans.

Street Fight: HHH vs. Sheamus

WOW. This is the opener? I’m stunned actually. This has been a decent build up to a feud…and there’s no HHH. ICELAND ATTACKS AGAIN! We go to the back and Sheamus has jumped HHH. I like it. It gives things a feeling of you don’t know what’s coming which is a very nice touch to say the least. The pale one has a steel pipe and gets in a solid shot on HHH’s head. I guess this has officially started but I’m not sure. The referee calls for the medic and we go to the arena.

And Big Show and Miz are here. Ok then. These two aren’t scheduled but I’d bet on a tag title match. They’re not scheduled but they just happen to have their wrestling gear on. The jacket on Miz works in some weird way. Miz has risen so far so fast that it’s amazing. I think Bret is going to be here soon.

Oh apparently they’re moving that to tomorrow. They say they have a lack of competition and they’re praying for opponents. I smell Kane for some reason. Here’s Teddy Long. He makes ShowMiz vs. a team of his choosing. This is just for a title shot, not the titles. Got it. And the opponents are….not announced yet. I’m liking this live way of reviewing actually. Ah .

Tag Team Gauntlet

R-Truth and Morrison are opening us up here. This is the first of three teams. I know this is a rematch of Mania but come on now. Actually this works so I can’t complain that much. Cole says the fans are behind the face team. NO REALLY? It’s a bit better than the previous one at Mania, but not by much. Morrison screws up and gets disqualified by not letting Show out of the ropes when he has a triangle choke on. Ok then.

Team number two is MVP/Mark Henry. This is rather short but it works fine I guess. Without going into details, MVP gets punched and pinned.

Cue Hart Dynasty, Hart Attack, pin. Literally, that’s it.

Rating: N/A. Too much of a mess to really grade it as a regular match. Something like this was needed to flesh out the card though. It came off fine though.

Grisham tries to give us an update on HHH but Sheamus says he’ll have to forfeit or get a worse beating.

CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio

Remember if Punk loses his head is shaved. Punk NEEDS this. Rey is wearing a Skelator mask. Ok then. Punk hits that sweet powerslam of his. In a nice spot, Punk just throws Punk under the ropes so he crashes into the floor. Nicely done. Gallows has a bit of an Austin look going for him.

Decent match far and longer than their Mania one I think. Come on WWE don’t kill Punk off yet. He busts out a bow and arrow of all things. Nice. Striker tries to turn Cole and Lawler to Straightedge. I like it. Punk busts out a freaking Gory Special of all things. See? Even back then they had special moves. No Mercy stole from them! Punk is more or less dominating, which scares me to no end. Serena stops the 619 and she and Gallows get ejected.

Rey hits an Asai Moonsault to get right back into it. Crowd is red hot by the way. Rey gets a seated senton but Punk hits a dropkick to make the save. This is a storied rivalry already. No Striker. Just no. Punk hits his springboard clothesline and I can’t stand Rey anymore. Seriously, get over the whole overcoming the odds idea.

It’s just stupid anymore. GTS is countered into a rana for 2 and then punk kicks Rey’s head off. Solid match to put it mildly. Rey gets the fraeking 619 and someone slides a chair into the ring. It’s a bald guy that slides under the ring. No clue who that was. He also drops Rey with something on the floor and Rey is out. GTS ends it. YES!

Rating: A-. VERY good match that had me wondering who would win up until the very end. Also, this is the way the match needed to end. Rey needed to lose here and Punk now has a credible win in this gimmick. That was a great match though. Love it and yes my Punk bias likely has a lot to do with it but still.

Strap Match: JTG vs. Shad Gaspar

It’s the four corners version here which I’m in the minority that actually prefers it that way. I just could not care less about this match. I truly couldn’t. JTG needs to win to regain credibility apparently. That would imply he had it to begin with, which is a straight up lie. Shad is dominating for the most part here. Yeah riveting.

Wow the crowd is SILENT for this. Who would have seen that coming? Shad just destroys JTG here and beats on him with the strap sans mercy. Shad gets his first three…and JTG does the same three. Not THIS finish again. Yep. JTG hits his finisher and dives for the 4th corner. Screw me running at least it’s over.

Rating: D-. And I like these kinds of matches. The crowd simply could not care less and it came off very clearly here. I mean NO ONE cared. Just boring as all goodness here with two guys that have no heat on them at all. At least it’s over though.

HHH can’t fight tonight. Yeah I’ll buy that.

Orton vs. Swagger is next? Really? We hit the recap. You know the drill by now.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger

Remember it’s Extreme Rules which I guess means no rules? Crowd loves them some Orton. Swagger controls early on as you would expect. I’m hoping they don’t make the switch tonight. Orton chasing the title for a few months would be nice. Also Swagger needs the credibility that the title gives him.

I love how more or less the announcers say Orton has nothing but the RKO. That’s not that nice. Swagger is dominating but Orton gets a belt shot to break that up. Ok then. Orton hits that same powerslam that Punk hit earlier. Swagger counters the elevated DDT too. Nicely done. It’s garbage can time.

SICK shots with it from Orton. Those were nice. Orton is going off now and it’s awesome. Orton does a stomp to Swagger’s head while he’s on the steps. Ow. The knee drop misses though and Swagger hits the floor. Naturally he gets caught in the elevated DDT though and it’s Orton setting for the RKO now. Hint: when he slaps the mat and shouts, it means RKO is coming.

Instead though he sets up a chair but the RKO onto it is countered. Well kind of it was. The look came off terribly but I get the concept. Gutwrench powerbomb hits and Swagger gets the pin. HUGE win there. That was all Swagger as he countered the RKO and got the pin. All Swagger there. Post match Orton gets the RKO to keep the tweener thing going.

Rating: B-. Not great but the booking was exactly right. This was a decent little match as Swagger is getting better and better in the ring. I liked it for what it was. No classic but not bad at all.

And here’s Sheamus. Ok then. And despite not being able to feel his hand, here comes HHH. Ok, if he wins here, I give up.

Street Fight: Sheamus vs. HHH

HHH of course controls to start things off which is bearable I guess. He hits the spinebuster but can’t get the Pedigree because of the arm being how hurt it is. Now this is more like it. He’s just ramming HHH into the barricade over and over again. I forgot this is a street fight. That’s not a good sign at all.

Striker and King are arguing like no other here and it’s coming off as great. Striker says he and Lawler have both wrestled hurt. That’s rather stupid. Striker wrestled for what, a year or so? Just seems ridiculous to compare the two of them. And of course HHH has the energy to use a DDT with his left arm.

HHH grabs a pipe and smacks HHH in the head with it. Naturally he kicks out. Sure why not? Apparently after a massive Irish man blasts you in the head with a steel pipe you can kick out via instinct. Sure why not? Celtic Cross is blocked. Apparently that’s called Pale Justice now. HHH gets a kendo stick and all of a sudden his arm is fine. That makes my head hurt. This has at least picked up a bit. Pump kick hits though. A second kick hits and it’s all Sheamus.

Naturally he lets HHH get up and the third and fourth kicks land to FINALLY end him. And remember kiddies: do not attempt making yourself look that strong without a licensed wife with connections. To be fair, the ending makes this a lot more bearable. Post match he fights off a cervical collar and tries to crawl off. He’s almost to the entrance when Sheamus hits ANOTHER kick to put him down again. Nice.

Rating: C-. The second half saved this match. The first half was borderline failure but the weapons helped it a lot. Sheamus winning is the right thing though, period. Yes HHH looked very strong, but to be fair he laid down at the end of the match and that’s what counts at the end of the day. Not terrible but more about the angle afterwards than the match.

Ad for Over the Limit. Oh dear.

Edge is getting ready.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful.

Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really?

Ad for the Mania DVD.

Jericho does his usual great promo about how it ends tonight. He looks buff to say the least.

No recap actually.

Cage Match: Edge vs. Chris Jericho

Ah ok we got a quick recap after Edge’s intro. Makes more sense. Jericho stalls a lot to play himself some heel. Ah there we go now they’re both in. And we see Jericho’s tights come down. Didn’t need that one there. Jericho gets rammed into the cage. Striker: The metal militia bares its fangs.

Edge goes for the spear but misses entirely. That’s never a good thing. I love that springboard dropkick that Jericho busts out from time to time. Striker talks about footwork and Lawler just couldn’t care less. In a cool spot, Jericho hits a leg whip from the top into the Walls. Nicely done. Edge does the climb the ropes spot to get out which is a nice counter.

Jericho has the door open and knocks Edge to the middle of the ring. Then of course like an idiot he gets out of the cage and goes back in. Yeah he’s an idiot. Edge hits a fast spear for two. Codebreaker gets two and we fight on top of the cage for a bit. Edge gets crotched and Jericho gets out AGAIN but this time Edge stops him from falling.

We fight on top even more and Jericho comes back into the cage. And so does Edge. In a NICE spot, Edge is standing on the top rope and Jericho gets a running start, hits the other rope and into a Codebreaker so both guys are down. Nice. That only gets two for a pretty weak pop. Jericho goes for the top of the cage but Edge saves again.

He slams the door on Jericho’s ankle. That would freaking hurt. Edge spins the ankle around in a weird move. This is more psychological than anything else. Ok not really but there’s some of it in there. More ankle work. Edge hits a CRAP spear for the pin. Why does the announcer’s voice always crack when he’s saying superstar?

Rating: B. Good match here but not great. If nothing else, this gives Edge the definitive win here. That’s the biggest thing I think. It wasn’t great, but it did its purpose. Solid stuff, but nothing great though. Also, stop the stupid pinning in the cage. It’s just fraeking idiotic. Two men enter, one man leaves. Not two men enter, one keeps the other down for three seconds.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. You know it by now.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.

Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.

FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.

He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.

Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.

Overall Rating: B. I thought this was solid. Not great, but solid. Again, you have to keep in mind what you’re looking at here. Just by the name alone, Extreme Rules, you know this isn’t a standard PPV. It was a gimmick show and there’s nothing wrong with that at all. There isn’t a truly bad match all show, with the strap match and I guess the Divas match being the low points.

However you have a surprise ending and hot women. What more do you need? As for the best part of this show, the youth movement continues. Swagger gets a HUGE win over Orton and did it on his own. He countered the RKO, he hit the Bomb, he got the pin. That’s all you need. Also, Punk got the win that the needed in a great match. All of a sudden, he has credibility and momentum all over again. That’s all you need again.

Oh and Sheamus beats the crap out of HHH. Overall, this show did a great job of closing a lot of doors and getting the rest of the ones opened that need to be opened. This was a successful show. I’ll go with that. Oh and one more thing: there was a feeling of you didn’t know what was coming due to the opening of the show. That’s a very important thing there and it worked very well.

Punk/Mysterio and the main event are worth seeing. Everything else is decent enough for a watch later on. This isn’t a great show, but in a few years it would be a great way to kill an afternoon when it’s raining. Good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

This is back in England and it’s being reviewed for one reason: this is the Cena vs. Michaels hour long match which is more or less the match where Cena proved that he was in fact not human. Other than iron man matches, I think this would be the longest match in modern company history unless I’m overlooking it and it’s nearly 5am so I probably am. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Shane to open things up. He says that he’s here for a fight but not with Lashley due to what happened last week. We get a video of the Milan Miracle, where a “fan” named Santino Marella came in for an IC Title match with Umaga and won the title with a little help from Lashley. This is fallout from Mania where Lashley beat Umaga and caused Vince to lose his hair.

Shane talks about how a fan is going to get a chance to face a dragon, just like St. George since it’s St. George’s Day. It’ll be a No DQ match. The manager of Chelsea Football Club is here but it won’t be him. Shane brings out Robbie Brookside who was a pretty big deal, teaming with Regal for years and competing in Japan as well. He had a cup of coffee on Nitro as well I think. Regal has said that without Brookside there wouldn’t be a William Regal, a Finlay, a Wade Barrett or a Sheamus so take that for what it’s worth.

Robbie Brookside vs. Shane McMahon

This is No DQ. Shane takes him down with a headlock and works on the back with elbows. Total squash so far as Shane knocks Brookside down in the corner. Shane sets up the Coast to Coast and drives the garbage can into Robbie’s head. Robbie is out cold so Shane says this is a handicap match and brings out Umaga to be his partner. Umaga hits the running hip attack and a top rope splash but Shane brings out Vince to make it 3-1. Apparently this is the go home show for Backlash which is a show I haven’t done yet. Vince is in a suit and hat but he gets the pin.

Rating: D. The idea makes sense but there’s no entertainment value to it for the most part. Shane is always cool to see and further emphasizes how bad Garrett Bischoff is but there wasn’t any interest here. Brookside took a beating which was expected but the fans didn’t really seem to care about him.

We get a clip from Wrestlemania where Cena beat Shawn. That means it’s time for a rematch on Raw three weeks later right? Tonight’s match is non-title.

Matt Hardy vs. Trevor Murdoch

The Hardys are Raw tag champions. Todd Grisham is doing ring announcing for no apparent reason. Murdoch takes him into the corner easily and throws on a headlock. Matt comes back with a fist drop for two. He goes up but gets pulled off the middle rope as Murdoch takes over again. Off to a sleeper but Matt breaks it up and hits a forearm. Side Effect gets two. A middle rope Fameasser gets two and Cade pops up on the apron for a distraction. Murdoch hits what was supposed to be a Canadian Destroyer for the pin.

Rating: D. This didn’t click at all. Jeff was at ringside but didn’t do a thing at all. There wasn’t much to see here as it was a short match on top of being bad. Murdoch was pretty good at times but at other times he was your old Texas cowboy kind of guy which isn’t interesting a lot of the time. Bad match.

Video on the Condemned.

Melina vs. Maria

Both girls are looking GOOD here. Melina is Women’s Champion but it’s not on the line. Grisham talks very slowly. Melina beats her up and after the quick comeback from Maria, a facejam ends this. It’s amazing how much better looking these girls are than the current crop of Divas.

Carlito is getting ready in the back and Flair says let’s go. This was a mentor/mentee thing.

Carlito vs. Great Khali

Carlito comes out alone, minute Flair or girlfriend Torrie. He tries to speed things up but gets run over by a Khali shoulder block. Carlito tries the legs and then the eyes. He goes up top but his missile dropkick misses. Chop, Plunge, pin.

Flair comes out post match and Carlito yells at him in Spanish. Naitch leaves in a huff.

Mick Foley talks about a Make-A-Wish kid that made the main event for Backlash which was a fatal fourway. One of the four is Edge who pops up and says he’ll win on Sunday.

Another video on the Condemned.

Shawn runs into Cena and nothing of note is said.

Shawn Michaels vs. John Cena

There’s almost an hour to go in the show so you know this is going to be something good. Shawn works on the shoulder to start but Cena counters with a headscissors into a stalemate. They do the exact same sequence and then try it again, but Cena goes for a drop toehold which Shawn escapes. Another STFU attempt sends Shawn running to the ropes. Cena is very pleased that he got that close.

Cena tries to grab the leg this time but Shawn makes the rope. They get in each others’ faces and it’s a slugout. Back from a break and the fans are getting way into this. Cena takes him down with a headlock instead which lasts for a good while. A big clothesline takes Shawn down and it’s chinlock time. Shawn pops back up and is immediately clotheslined back down.

Sweet Chin Music is avoided and the FU is countered by Shawn heading to the floor. We take another break and come back to Shawn getting in a shot in the corner. He’s mostly the heel in this but it’s not full fledged. They speed things up and Cena hits a World’s Strongest Slam for two. Release fisherman’s suplex gets two. Throwback gets two. They slug it out and Shawn counters a suplex into a neckbreaker for two.

Another slugout results in the flying forearm by Shawn. He nips up and hammers Cena down and goes to the corner for the elbow. It hits but instead of covering Shawn stomps the mat for the Chin Music. Cena ducks and Shawn grabs a quick backslide for two. The shoulder block misses and Cena may have hurt his shoulder on the crash to the floor. Shawn dives over the floor but Cena catches him in mid-air and slams him into the steps.

Back from break #3 and they’re both in the ring again. It should be noted that we’re probably half an hour into this and Cena looks FINE. He doesn’t look tired, he doesn’t look winded, he doesn’t even look sweaty. That’s almost scary. Cena charges into the post and Shawn has a target. He hooks a combination hammerlock/abdominal stretch on the mat before driving in some knees on the arm.

Cena shrugs off most of it and starts his finishing sequence, taking Shawn’s head off with a clothesline. The Shuffle hits but the FU is countered into Chin Music attempt into the FU for a VERY close two. We take another break and come back with Cena throwing Shawn to the floor. Cena rams his back into the post and we head back inside. Delayed vertical suplex gets two.

Bearhug time which is proof we’re in a big match as you almost never see a face use one of those. Shawn fights out of it but gets thrown over the corner and out to the floor. Back in Cena hits the top rope Fameasser which seems to be a new move for him. They go to the corner for a superplex but Cena instead tries an FU off the top, which Shawn counters into a powerbomb off the top to put both guys down.

Out to the apron and Shawn knocks him face first into the announce table. The look on his face says THAT REALLY HURT! Out to the floor and Shawn loads up a piledriver on the steps but Cena backdrops him onto the floor as we take I think break number five. Back with them on the announce table and Cena is all fired up. Back inside Cena hooks the STFU but it’s not cranked on perfectly.

Shawn makes the rope and we cut to some cheering girl in the crowd. Shawn looks a bit dead but Cena is waiting for the FU. Shawn pops up with the Chin Music but Cena tries the FU again. That gets reversed and Chin Music hits for a very delayed two. They slowly get up and Cena tries the FU again but Shawn slips down the back and hits the second Sweet Chin Music for the pin at 55:49. Unless there’s some house show match that I don’t know of, that’s the longest regular one on one match in the WWE/F since 1981.

Rating: A-. It’s certainly not a masterpiece or even anything close to one, but considering they just went an hour, you have to give them bonus points. Cena looked fresh as a daisy 40 minutes into this which is more proof that he isn’t human. This is also a loss that doesn’t hurt Cena because it wasn’t like he got beat but rather that he got caught. Very good match and the time aspect of it is remarkable. This match is on the Heartbreak and Triumph DVD.

Shawn puts the title on Cena’s chest post match and crotch chops him to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. To say that this is a one match show is an understatement but when it’s a great match like this on free TV, you can’t complain at all. Good stuff here and while it didn’t really build up Backlash that well, it’s still great with one match that is the first of its kind in over twenty five years.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the history of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

This is another request and since it’s taking forever to download some TNA shows, I figured I might as well knock some of these off in the meantime. This is the King of the Ring tournament so it’s a three hour special. Almost everything you have here is a tournament match, plus an eight man tag and a REALLY stupid other match. Let’s get to it.

Theme song gets us going. It’s still Papa Roach.

We open with Lillian telling us that the tournament is back tonight.

King of the Ring First Round: Chris Jericho vs. MVP

Jericho is IC Champion and MVP is US Champion. There’s no bracket yet and even JR and Lawler haven’t seen them. I don’t mind a champion losing so much here as one of them gets to look stronger. This is also the go home show for Backlash, which is a show I haven’t done yet. MVP takes him to the mat to start but Jericho comes back with some knees to the head and a kick to the same area.

MVP punches him in the corner as this is off to a hot start. Jericho drapes him over the top rope and mostly misses a baseball slide to the floor. MVP catches him coming back in with a knee lift and a kind of clothesline for two. He hooks kind of a modified abdominal stretch on the mat but Jericho gets up pretty quickly. Overhead belly to belly puts Jericho down for two. They do the Flair bridge up into a backslide spot which gets a good reaction in Horsemen country. Big boot gets two for MVP. Jericho comes back with a clothesline but the Lionsault misses. Play of the Day is countered into the Walls and Jericho advances.

Rating: C. Very basic match here but with a one night tournament you have to keep things that way. Again I don’t mind MVP losing clean here because it was to another champion and on top of that he would drop the title on Sunday anyway. Not much to see here but it was fine all things considered.

Jericho sits on the throne post match.

King of the Ring First Round: CM Punk vs. Matt Hardy

Punk has the MITB case. Feeling out process to start but it turns into a strike off, won by Punk. He takes Matt down for two and hooks a quick chinlock. Matt comes back with some headbutts and drives an elbow into Punk’s back off the middle rope. Matt’s bulldog is countered into the clothesline and bulldog out of the corner for two. Punk’s springboard clothesline is caught in the Side Effect for two. Twist of Fate is countered into a GTS which is countered into a sunset flip which is countered by Punk sitting on Hardy for the pin. Nice ending.

Rating: C+. Another short match here but this one was a little more fun than the previous one. The ending was pretty quick and that’s a good thing as it was certainly entertaining for a four minute match. Punk was on a roll at this point and he would win the world title in about two months. Matt would get the US Title on Sunday.

All we have as far as a bracket is Jericho vs. Punk in the semi-finals.

Tonight it’s Barack Obama vs. Hilary Clinton. That’s the really stupid match I warned you about. We see it in Smackdown vs. Raw 2008 for a preview.

We get a clip from Raw last week of HHH vs. JBL when Orton ran in and HHH got double teamed. The fatal fourway on Sunday (those three plus Cena) is now an elimination match.

JBL says this Sunday he’ll take his place on top of the WWE. He was in the New York Times today.

King of the Ring First Round: Finlay vs. Great Khali

Khali is having issues with Big Show around this time. Horny is at ringside of course. Finlay charges at Khali but gets shoved down almost immediately. Khali shoves him down but misses a legdrop. Finlay pounds away but Khali shrugs him off and sends him to the corner. Horny comes in with the club but Finlay saves him. The chop puts Finlay down and Khali wraps Finlay’s leg around the post…..for a DQ? Apparently so. Too short to rate but this was nothing of note.

Big Show comes out but Khali won’t go for him until Sunday.

Finlay is helped out because of the knee attack.

King of the Ring First Round: William Regal vs. Hornswoggle

Twenty seconds, Regal Stretch. Finlay comes in to help but Regal beats him down and attacks the knee. Regal is GM at this point so shenanigans seem to be up.

The brackets are set for the semi-finals:

Jericho
Punk

Finlay
Regal

Video on the annual post Wrestlemania European tour.

Here’s Shawn for a little chat. Apparently Batista isn’t happy about Shawn retiring Flair at Wrestlemania so Shawn wants to talk about it right now. They have a match on Sunday with Jericho as referee for no apparent reason, although it would set up a six month feud between Shawn and Jericho. Here’s Batista and Shawn if Batista wanted to face Flair at Mania, which is what Jericho suggested on Smackdown.

Batista asks if that would make Shawn feel better. This isn’t about Flair anymore, but rather about Big Dave and Shawn. He respects where Shawn is, but not how he got there. He’ll finish this with Shawn at Backlash. Shawn appreciates the honesty but he’s everything Batista says he is. Whether Dave likes it or not, Shawn is Mr. Wrestlemania and there definitely is blood on his hands. Batista is going to need luck on Sunday. Shawn goes to leave but Batista spins him back around. Shawn gets into superkick position but Batista just walks past him and leaves.

Hilary Clinton gives the kind of promo/speech that a famous person gives when they talk to a wrestling audience that they don’t understand. This one isn’t terrible though as she mainly talks about how she’ll fight for America and lists some of her issues. It’s very corny, but I’ll give them points for at least talking like this. Obama and McCain will talk later.

Hardcore Holly vs. Carlito

Just….why? Oh this is something to do with the tag titles. Holly and Rhodes are champions coming into this. Carlito has his partner Santino with him. Feeling out process to start with Holly mainly in control. Carlito comes back with a backbreaker for two. Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last long. Carlito works on the back some more but misses a charge. Holly makes his comeback with clotheslines and the dropkick but his back gives out. He loads up the Alabama Slam but his back gives out again. Backstabber gets the pin.

Rating: D. This wasn’t much. This would presumably set up the match on Sunday but it didn’t happen for some reason. Then again, no one cared at all about the tag titles so it’s not like anyone cared. This was really just a breather to allow everyone to transition from the first half of the show to the second.

HHH says he’ll win.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

Both guys are tentative to start but both get quick twos. The first big move is Jericho draping him over the top rope out of a suplex. Punk tries a springboard but Jericho kicks his legs out and Punk is in trouble. Jericho tries a hammerlock but Punk takes his head off with a clothesline for two. They trade rollups like at the end of Punk’s other match but no one gets a pin. Walls are countered into a rollup for two.

Jericho hits an enziguri for two and this is getting good. Punk snaps off a powerslam for two. GTS is countered into the bulldog and Jericho loads up the Lionsault. It looks strange as Jericho tried to land on all fours because Punk had his knees up. Either way he stopped himself and hooks the Walls but Punk makes a rope. Jericho goes up but Punk high kicks him down. He puts Jericho on his shoulders and the GTS sends Punk to the finals clean.

Rating: B-. These two always work well together and this was no exception. Punk got a win here which made him look a lot stronger, which is what someone like Jericho is great at. Even four years later Jericho is still putting people over but it still means something, which is a great sign for a veteran like him.

Senator Obama gives a very corny speech, concluding with “do you smell what the Barack is cooking.” Just….no.

King of the Ring Semi-Finals: William Regal vs. Finlay

Finlay has the bad knee coming in. Regal circles him to start but gets monkey flipped to the floor. Regal sends him into the steps and he hits knee first. Back in the ring and it’s time for a slugout. Regal goes shoulder first into the post for two. Finlay tries a fireman’s carry but the knee gives out. Back to the forearms and a rollup gets two. Regal hits him in the head with a knee and puts on the Regal Stretch. Finlay passes out to send Regal to the finals.

Rating: C. These two always have good matches as they’re always physical. The more I see of Finlay the more I appreciate him as he was really good at stuff like this. There was nothing for him to lose out there and he was going to be adequate at worst no matter who you put him out there with. Good stuff but short.

McCain uses a lot of wrestling lines and says go vote.

We run down the card for Backlash.

Cena says that you’ve heard everyone talk tonight and he has as good a chance as anyone else, but the advantage he has is he doesn’t have to go through himself.

Let’s get this over with.

Hilary Clinton vs. Barack Obama

There’s a Bill impersonator with Hilary, who comes out to Real American. No one reacts AT ALL. Obama comes out to Rock’s theme and I guess is the face in this. They’re impersonators in case you didn’t get that. It’s so weird seeing and hearing people not care at all about Hogan’s music. I mean there’s NOTHING. This is one of those times I feel ashamed about being a wrestling fan. They both cut promos on each other and Hilary’s is far better, as she’s played by a chick from SHIMMER. The fans still don’t care.

Is this supposed to be funny? Are we supposed to be this stupid to find this entertaining? Rock’s theme gets ZERO reaction either and Obama has huge ears. King gets the only funny line of this by saying that if Obama were facing Mike Tyson in this it would be a buffet. They have a “match” which isn’t completely terrible as both are played by wrestlers. Obama hits a Rock Bottom but Bill breaks up the People’s Elbow. Cue Umaga for a Spike to Obama and a Samoan Drop to Hilary. Bill runs away. This got TEN MINUTES.

Here are a bunch of face Divas to introduce the new Women’s Champion Mickie James. She beat Beth who was considered unbeatable so it was a big upset. It still amazes me how much more interesting the Divas were just a few years ago. Mickie thanks the other girls but gets cut off by Beth and some other evil girls. Remember when there were twelve Divas that could be in one segment and could all have at least a passable match? Beth says it’s not if she’ll win the title back, but when she’ll win it back. Michelle slaps Beth and the brawl is on.

Mr. Kennedy is coming back.

King of the Ring Finals: William Regal vs. CM Punk

Punk comes in with bad ribs because of the matches earlier. Regal is basically in his second match after the Horny match and beating an injured Finlay. Punk starts off fast with some kicks in the corner. He tries the bulldog but gets suplexed down and it’s off to a bow and arrow hold. Punk fights up from that and hits a spinning kick to the knee.

Regal grabs the arms and forces him right back down to the mat as is his custom. The idea is that it’s strikes vs. grapples which is about as natural as you’re going to get with these two. Punk fights up again and hits a BIG kick to the head to stagger Regal. Spinning backfist sets up the high kick for two. That sounded great. Punk loads up the GTS but Regal grabs the rope. He escapes and hits the knee trembler, followed by the Stretch. Punk hangs on for almost thirty seconds but finally has to tap to give Regal the tournament.

Rating: C-. This was too short to mean much but it gave Regal some more psychosis to work with which was a really entertaining time. Then it just stopped cold because it was getting too good and that’s how WWE works. Punk giving up because of the rib injury is ok because Regal didn’t win fairly (coming in at a big advantage), which is fine.

Regal’s psycho look while he sits on the throne is still great.

Here’s Orton for the main event but first he brags about how awesome he is and how his title reign will continue after Sunday.

Randy Orton/Edge/Chavo Guerrero/John Bradshaw Layfield vs. John Cena/HHH/Kane/The Undertaker

Orton is Raw champion, Edge is challenging Taker on Sunday, Chavo is challenging Kane, JBL is challenging Orton, Cena is challenging Orton, HHH is challenging Orton, Kane is ECW Champion, Undertaker is Smackdown champion. Now that’s a packed main event. How out of place does Chavo look here though? After the entrances take forever to get through we’re ready to go. Seriously, there were ten minutes spent on entrances PLUS a commercial. That’s ridiculous.

Taker and Orton look to start but Edge jumps Taker in a surprise. This goes badly for the Canadian as a big clothesline puts him down. Old School hits (hasn’t that been called old longer than it wasn’t called old?) and we take a break after 40 seconds. Back with Chavo tagging Edge in to work over a downed HHH. The spear is countered into a spinebuster and there’s the tag to Cena.

He starts his finishing sequence very quickly on Edge but Chavo low bridges him on the Shuffle attempt. JBL throws him back in clean which shocks Jerry. Off to Orton who does nothing so it’s JBL again. Russian legsweep gets two as does a clothesline. Edge comes in and the Cena chants begin. Edge gets a big boot and it’s off to Orton for a chinlock. Cena stands up but it’s a double clothesline and both guys are down.

The tags are made to Chavo and Kane with the Big Bald cleaning house. All of the evil team goes down and a side slam puts Chavo down. The top rope clothesline mostly gets shoulder and everything breaks down. Chavo counters a slam attempt into a DDT but as he goes for the Frog Splash Kane chokeslams him down. Out of nowhere though Edge spears Kane for the pin.

Rating: C. It’s a main event tag match and that’s about it. They covered almost everything and they had the most secure winner at the PPV (Kane) take the fall which is a good thing. Not a bad match but it’s just a way to throw everyone into the main event at once, which is fine for building up the PPV main events.

Edge takes an FU post match, HHH takes the Clothesline, RKO to HHH and a double chokeslam to JBL and Orton. Undertaker stands tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This was a really entertaining show that went by fast. I’d have liked to see some better wrestling in there but the matches had to be fast due to the tournament. I’m glad they didn’t go to any double eliminations as in an eight man tournament that’s kind of excessive. Good show though and I want to watch Backlash now so that’s a great sign. Good stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5:

I hate you. I hate you all. This is another request because SOME IDIOT had to put the Wrestlerock Rumble video up on WrestleZone. This is the show that it was advertising. It’s another of the AWA’s stadium supershows which usually wound up sucking but why would that stop them from keeping them up? There are three cage matches to close the show so you know it’s going to be….different. Let’s get to it.

No real intro here, as is the custom on these big shows.

Brad Rheingans vs. Boris Zhukov

Boris is the same character from WWF and Brad is a former Olympian power lifter. This is going to be a power match and probably not a very good one. They exchange tests of strength to start with neither guy being able to get much of an advantage. Ok scratch that as Brad does pretty easily. Before I forget again: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE??? There are allegedly over 20,000 people there but my goodness they did a bad job of putting them on the camera side. There might be more empty seats visible that full ones.

This is your standard power match: Brad shoves him around, Boris runs, Brad shoves him around some more, Boris runs some more. Zhukov heads to the floor and comes back to get in a knee and RUSSIA POWER takes over. That more or less concludes the interesting part of the match because Boris Zhukov is a very boring wrestler. He’s slow, he’s bald, he’s Russian. That sums up about half the heels in America at this point. Naturally since this is a big show’s opening match, Brad makes his comeback and hits his fisherman’s suplex for the pretty easy pin.

Rating: D+. The American winning over the EVIL Soviet is always a surefire way to get a crowd going and this did so for the most part. Not a good match by any means, but for about five minutes long and an opening match, what exactly were you looking for? For a power guy though, a fisherman’s suplex is a strange pick for a finisher.

Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook vs. Little Mr. T./Cowboy Lang

Great. Midgets. Tokyo and Lang start us off and it’s time for a headlock. Off to Littlebrooke and it’s time for an armbar. They go to a wide shot and oh my goodness that’s a stupid idea. Back to Tokyo as Lang is getting beaten down even more. Here’s a chinlock for rest hold #3 in less than 150 seconds. Lang escapes and it’s off to Little Mr. T. This is a few weeks after WM 2 and I’m sure Mr. T. being on that show is just a coincidence right?

T. does something and Trongard says look at that. Naturally that’s as we go wide to which you can only see shapes in the ring instead of what they’re doing. There goes the referee because this is a midget match. Things calm down and we have Littlebrook vs. T. There’s ANOTHER chinlock as this is going way too long. The midgets argue and this is going nowhere.

Tokyo accidentally hits Littlebrook as people are going off to get food and drinks. Lang is in and we get a crisscross. Back to T. vs. Littlebrook for another headlock. It’s clear they have no idea what to do here to fill in time because MIDGET MATCHES SHOULDN’T GO TEN MINUTES. There’s an airplane spin for both heels and the rowboat spot. Oh and the referee pile on. Lang hooks a rollup on Littlebrook for the pin, thank goodness.

Rating: F. A midget tag team match ran ten minutes and had at least 5 rest holds. What kind of a grade did you expect me to give this? Not a good match at all and the usual midget spots that you’ve seen a dozen times, none of which have made people laugh in years. Moving on.

There are a lot of “local celebrities” introduced here, usually between each match. I’m not going to bother listing them because I don’t know who they are, most likely you don’t know who they are, and I don’t really care. For instance, this one is a local horse owner. See what I mean? Almost all of them get to be guest ring announcers. That’s the show’s gimmick.

Colonel DeBeers vs. Wahoo McDaniel

We have a white supremacist vs. an American Indian. This can’t end well. DeBeers actually TWIRLS HIS MUSTACHE. We have a real villain here people. The Colonel works on the arm, then Wahoo works on the arm. Now DeBeers works on the arm. I think out of boredom, Wahoo chops at him to break it up. Colonel comes back with a knee to the head and some kicks. Coming back in they slug it out with McDaniel on the apron. Back in Wahoo goes on the warpath and throws him to the floor. Back in again and Wahoo throws him over the top for the FREAKING LAME DQ.

Rating: F+. It was somehow better than the midget match. Think about that for a minute. This was five minutes of two old guys hitting each other after some arm work and then a stupid DQ ending to it. This was horrible and the show is off to a very bad start. When a basic American vs. Soviet match is by far the best match of the night after three of them, things aren’t starting well at all.

They brawl on the floor post match in a far better sequence than they had in the match.

Go buy stuff from the souvenir stand! You can get cassettes of the WrestleRock Rumble! For those unfamiliar, that’s a wrestling version of the Super Bowl Shuffle with wrestlers “rapping” lyrics. It’s horrible.

Doug Somers and Buddy Rose are going to beat those pests the Midnight Rockers and then get the tag titles.

Doug Somers/Buddy Rose vs. Midnight Rockers

This is on Shawn Michaels: My Journey. Somers/Rose have Sherri Martel with them. Rose does his traditional thing of “it’s 217lbs, not 271lbs.” Rose and Jannetty start us off with Rose doing push-ups. Wait, still not ready for the match as Rose does a front flip and wants Jannetty to do the same. Marty tags Shawn who moonsaults in and tells Rose to do that. Rose goes up….and comes back down. Naturally they’re wasting time on a match like this which is probably going to be the best match of the show. Rose tries it AGAIN and crotches himself.

Somers and Shawn FINALLY lock up to keep us from dying of boredom. Shawn controls with an armdrag and dropkicks Somers down and it’s off to Rose. Rose tries to speed things up and I think Shawn is all cool with that, as he armdrags him down with ease. Off to Marty who jumps in and hammers down onto the arm. Rose goes for the eyes and brings in Somers who is armdragged right back down. Marty avoids a charge and Doug’s arm goes into the post.

Back to Shawn and both of them grab an arm on Somers. Back to Rose vs. Shawn and Buddy cartwheels (impressive given that gut) to avoid a monkey flip. Marty comes in and does exactly what Buddy did. We’re five minutes into this somehow. Time for Shawn again and the arm work continues. He hooks an arm stretch but Buddy gets up onto his feet to escape the pressure. Marty smacks him in the head and Rose is down again. Not a good night for them so far.

Shawn flies around even more and it’s back to Marty to drop a knee on the arm. Knee lift gets two for Shawn. FINALLY Michaels gets caught in a slingshot into the corner and Somers belts him in the face to take over. Jumping back elbow gets two for Rose. Off to Somers who whips Shawn into the corner hard.

Shawn comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Marty who cleans house and gets his own two off his own jumping back elbow. Powerslam gets three but the foot was on the rope. Everything breaks down and the Rockers are in control. Marty goes up for something but Somers crotches him which lets Rose pin him. Sherri pushed his foot off the ropes too.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all here, despite the goofy stuff to start. The arm work probably went on too long but the match itself wasn’t half bad. The ending could have used a bit more but for a big house show and the fourth match on the card, this wasn’t that bad. Sherri screwing over Shawn is kind of interesting given their future.

Somers and Rose say they’re innocent.

More “celebrities”, this one being the AD for the University of Minnesota.

Buck Zumhofe says nothing of note. Granted that might be because of the REALLY BIG FREAKING BOOM BOX he’s carrying.

Buck Zumhofe vs. Tiger Mask

This should be….different. I think it’s Misawa at this point but I’m not sure. Trongard has never seen him before so his usual horrible commentary is going to be even worse here. They go to the mat quickly with Buck grabbing an armbar. That hold is used WAY too much in this company. They exchange control of the arm and we get a standoff. Zumhofe is your classic guy who wasn’t big enough to be a heavyweight but didn’t have the speed to be a typical cruiserweight. Tiger Mask on the other hand is a master at it.

They go back to grappling and it ends in a spinning toehold by Buck as he works on the leg. This goes on for awhile, because Heaven forbid they have fast guys go to the air. That might get people interested in the show. Off to a Boston Crab which works on the back after Zumhofe spent all the time working on the knee. Eh close enough I guess. That doesn’t last long and Tiger dropkicks him down for two.

Back to the arm (oh boy!) for Tiger as he controls with an armbar after a decent wrestling sequence. A cross body and suplex get four combined which is somehow less than three in wrestling. Zumhofe goes after the mask but can’t get it off because he’s Buck Zumhofe and going after Tiger Mask’s mask. Buck goes into control by ramming Tiger’s face into the mat twice. Well you can’t say he’s overdoing it. Abdominal stretch now to really crank this up. They go to the floor and Tiger hits a nice plancha to take Buck out. Back in Mask slams him down and hits something like a Swanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad but at the same time Zumhofe was really boring. This would be Tiger Mask toned WAY down which isn’t using his talents as well as they could and/or should be used. Pretty dull match but it could have been FAR worse. Again, somehow this is the second best match of the night thus far and that can’t be a good thing.

The Governor of Minnesota declares it Verne Gagne Day. Not AWA Day or anything, but Verne Gagne Day.

Barry Windham and Rotunda (acknowledged as former WWF Tag Champions) say they’re ready for the Fabulous Ones.

Fabulous Ones vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotunda

The Fabulous Ones are Steve (Skinner) Keirn and Sweet Stan Lane. The guest announcer here is another radio guy which is the case with the vast majority of them. Windham vs. Lane starts things off. The crowd has filled in a lot and it looks much better. Feeling out process to start as Barry grabs a headlock. This is back when Windham was awesome and in shape so he’s fun to watch.

Off to Rotunda and the arm work (I’m as shocked as you are) begins. Lane tries to escape a hammerlock but gets kneed in the arm instead. Back to Barry who cranks on the arm some more. Off to Keirn who is armdragged right back down. Back to Mike who works a top wristlock. Barry comes in quickly for a chinlock. Keirn tries a leapfrog but gets punched in the face for his efforts. You can’t say Barry is over complicating things.

Windham/Rotunda hit a double dropkick and Keirn is in trouble. Mike misses a corner charge and the heels take over. Things break down quickly but Rotunda can’t make a tag. After a long beating by Lane it’s back to Keirn. Lane comes in for a neckbreaker but misses an elbow. There’s the tag to Barry after a short heat segment. Powerslam gets two on Stan.

The Ones cheat again and Barry gets caught in a chinlock. We’re ten minutes into this and it hasn’t really kicked into high gear yet, which is a shame given what you have to work with here. Barry grabs a small package on Lane for two. Off to Rotunda who speeds things up and gets two on Lane. There’s an airplane spin for two. Lane backdrops him and sets for a piledriver but Barry comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head, giving Rotunda the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything here but it was ok I guess. They never cranked this up as high as they could and that really hurt it. Also the lack of any reason for these teams or wrestlers in any match for that matter to want to fight each other is really bringing things down. If they don’t care, why should I care?

The Attorney General of Minnesota is here. Even for a local politician, why would I care about that?

Bulldog Bob Brown vs. Giant Baba

Baba is a guy I’m sure you’ve heard of and Brown is a Central States mainstay who just isn’t that good but was popular in his territory. For some reason he’s billed as a former champion (with 18 total reigns) but based on what I can find, he was champion at this point. Brown hooks a headlock to start, which is really awkward because Brown is about 6’0 tall and Baba is about Kane’s height.

Baba works on the arm but Brown rakes the eye to get out of it. Brown goes for the leg which fails completely. Baba takes him to the mat with a headscissors and works on the arm. The fans don’t care at all here. Brown hammers on him but Baba comes back with some chops. This is REALLY slow paced as they’re stopping every few seconds. A big boot puts Brown on the mat and a chop sets up a Russian legsweep which looked awful. Another big boot gets the pin.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE. It was slow, it was awkward, Baba wrestles nothing like a giant, and the fans had no idea who these guys were. That was the big issue with this match: it’s a Japanese guy vs. a Central States guy in front of an AWA crowd. Why would the people care at all about this match? They didn’t, and I can’t blame them at all. The match sucked too.

The GM of a TV station is introduced. Not an on air personality mind you, but the boss that NO ONE EVER SEES.

Harley Race wants an AWA Title shot.

Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

This is billed as former champion vs. former champion, which sounds SO exciting doesn’t it? Race grabs a headlock to start as is his custom but Martel whips him in and it’s time for an armbar. This is so common in this company I can’t believe it. That doesn’t last long as Race whips him in and RACE LEAPFROGS MARTEL. And I thought I had seen everything. Martel doesn’t know what to do so naturally, it’s an armdrag into an armbar.

Race takes him down again as neither guy can get a real advantage here. Headbutt sets up a chinlock which isn’t something the people seem all that interested in seeing at this point. Yep there are the boring chants. Martel gets up and there’s armbar #3 five minutes into the match. Race’s counter this time? Slam his head into Martel’s. Well you can’t say he’s not using his head. I’ll give you a minute to roll your eyes at how lame that joke was.

Powerslam gets two for Race but Martel escapes a suplex and throws on a sleeper. Does this guy know ANYTHING besides rest holds? Race rams him into the buckle and hits a neckbreaker to put Rick down. Harley goes up (not as bizarre as you would expect) but gets slammed off. Well his last major feud was with Flair so that probably has something to do with it. They slug it out a bit which should result in pain bruises and agony for Martel but instead he grabs a headlock. Martel hits a backbreaker and slingshot splash for two, which Trongard says Martel debuted five years ago in 1983. Check the date on the show.

Anyway after that warping of time and space, Race headbutts and piledrives him for two. Elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Race sends him into the corner and Martel tries a cross body out of the corner, but Race just casually steps to the side, ala Samoa Joe. After a brief slugout, Martel whips Race into the corner and out to the floor, but it’s not a DQ due to whatever alteration they want to make this time.

Suplex gets two for Rick back in. Shoulderbreaker and neckbreaker get two for Race. They collide and Race is knocked to the floor. He always was great at taking that backwards fall. Back in another piledriver is countered into a gutwrench suplex for two by Martel. Now Rick goes after the knee for some reason. After some knees to the leg it’s off to a leg hold but Race uses his head (as always) to escape. Race pounds on him in the corner but has his suplex countered. A splash by Martel eats knees and they go to the floor off a slam attempt. They brawl even more and it’s a double countout, two minutes before the time limit.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here but again the problem is that there’s no story to this. That being said, they were getting close to overcoming that with some solid back and forth stuff. At the end of the day, it’s Harley Race going 18 minutes so the match by default has to be pretty good. Martel was a WAY bigger deal in the AWA than in the WWF.

Women’s Battle Royal

There are ten girls in this and only three mean anything: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon (didn’t mean anything yet) and Candi Divine, who was awful but was popular in the AWA. She’s also Women’s Champion here. I have no idea who most of these women are. They’re blondes in spandex. Someone is thrown out and I can’t hear Capetta, nor do I particularly care to know.

Trongard and Capetta keep calling Luna Leona by mistake. Or by lack of intelligence, I’m not sure which. Two more go out but they’re not important enough to announce. Somehow we got down to six. Luna (NOT LEONA) is gone. I think a Greek chick powerbombs Divine but it’s not important enough to talk about. The Greek chick is out and we’re down to Martel, Debbie Combs, Candi Divine and some chick that Trongard doesn’t bother naming. Divine misses a charge and we’re down to three. Her name is Joyce Grable. Ok then. Martel is knocked under the ropes, Combs throws out Grable and Martel sneaks in to steal the win.

Rating: F. I didn’t know half of the names in this. That should tell you everything you need to know.

Sherri gets fifty grand and Rose/Somers want the tag titles.

Ten minute intermission, because this show needs to be LONGER.

We’re only halfway through the card. See what I’m putting up with?

AWA America’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Kamala

Slaughter is champion and is WAY over. He’s pretty much the most popular guy in the company, which is why he never got the world title. I mean, Heaven forbid the fans decide who the top guy is. That’s one thing that needs to be remembered about the AWA: yes Vince took a lot of their talent, but it was Gagne that screwed up a lot of stuff. If he had just given the title to Hogan like the people were SCREAMING for, Hogan wouldn’t have left.

Oh yeah the match. As usual with Kamala matches, he uses REALLY boring offense like you would see from any fat guy, including but not limited to chops, something resembling punches, shots to the throat, and a stomach claw. Slaughter makes his comeback, Kamala hits him some more, Slaughter Cannon, Kim Chee runs in for the DQ. Short and nothing of note at all.

Hall and Hennig say they’ll keep the titles.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs. Long Riders

The Long Riders are a biker team who ride in on their motorcycles. Hall gets an award for being popular pre match. The champions won the titles in Albuquerque apparently, which is nowhere near the AWA territory, so I’m going to bet that match didn’t happen. Also the regular AWA ring announcer, Larry Nelson, is now sitting in on commentary with Trongard. The Long Riders are Scott “Hog” Irwin and Wild Bill Irwin.

Hall starts with Scott (for this match, Scott will only be used for Scott Irwin. Scott Hall will only be called Hall) as we hear about the Long Riders being made to wear wrestling gear. Apparently their biker gear has been used for EVIL and has therefore been banned. Nothing goes on here so the partners both tag off. Hennig hits a HUGE dropkick on the future Goon and we head to the floor for a chase scene. Back to Hall as the champions have been in total control the whole time so far.

Bill manages to take Hall to the mat for about two full seconds but the more famous one grabs an armbar to take over. Off to Hennig and the beating continues. Dropkick gets two as we’re five minutes in. Curt and Bill slug it out and Hennig superkicks him down for two. Bill misses a charge and an elbow drop so Hennig grabs a headlock. They get up and do a weird sequence where they’re both on their stomachs and Curt crawls at him as Bill backpedals to the floor.

Test of strength now and Hennig kind of suplexes him over for two. The Riders take over on Curt with some double teaming. They draw in Hall for some lame double teaming as we’re at ten minutes into this. More double teaming which is mainly just assisted choking. Curt avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Hall. House is cleaned and noggins are knocked but it’s back to Hennig. Everything breaks down and Curt is sent to the floor. It doesn’t really matter though as Hall goes to the floor with Scott, allowing a missile dropkick from Hennig to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as there was a formula and an idea here, but the execution wasn’t that great. The Riders were a pretty weak team but it could have been far worse. Hennig was a huge deal in the AWA and would hold the world title for over a year starting in May of 87. Decent match but nothing all that great. It’s a big upgrade on the majority of the show though.

Scott hits Hennig with a boot post match. The champions complain about that for awhile.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott LeDoux

LeDoux was a legit boxer before becoming a referee and wrestler in the AWA. This is under “European” rules, which means they wear gloves and we have ten two minute rounds. Larry Hennig, Curt’s papa, is the referee for no apparent reason. It’s really closer to boxing than wrestling but it’s the AWA so I doubt they knew what it was supposed to be. They tease hitting each other for a bit until LeDoux grabs a full nelson. Larry escapes and Scott (what is with that name being so popular in this company?) unloads on him with punches, sending Larry to the floor.

This is actually closer to MMA (kind of almost sort of) than boxing or wrestling but whatever. Larry chills with his ninja (don’t ask) for a bit as we’re probably about halfway through the first round. LeDoux gets into a boxing stance so Larry bails to the apron. I’m shocked too. Larry picks the leg and goes to the mat which is smart. Round 1 ends with Larry in control.

Off to round 2 and Larry gets on one knee. He gets up and hits a spinning kick to the ribs. Larry climbs on his back which doesn’t work at all as LeDoux pounds on the ribs with elbows. Armdrag by Larry into an armbar but LeDoux punches him in the face. Larry pounds him in the corner and slams him for no cover. Zbyszko pounds on him to end the round.

Round 3 begins with Scott’s eye swelling shut. Larry takes him to the mat and hooks a front chancery. For the first time we’re told you win by pin or knockout. Decisions are still a gray area. Larry POUNDS HIM with punches and a kick to the ribs. Back to the mat and Larry is totally dominating him.

Round 4 starts with Larry missing a kick and LeDoux gets in a flurry to take over. For no apparent reason he grabs Larry and rams him into the corner. There’s a slam and Larry is reeling. The fans aren’t that thrilled but you can’t please everyone. They’re both getting gassed here but LeDoux clocks Larry to end the round but the bell saves him.

Larry starts round 5 bleeding and gets knocked to the floor….where he rams LeDoux into the post for the DQ 5 seconds into the round.

Rating: C-. I liked it but it wasn’t great. As usual with this show, I have no idea why they were fighting because the announcers are too busy telling us that the AWA is a national company to give us a simple story. The match was entertaining though which is really all you can ask for in something like this. Good stuff and thankfully they kept it fast paced. If this was just boxing, it would have been a disaster.

Post match LeDoux wants to kill Larry and the fans are into this for once. The Ninja jumps Scott and Larry (the referee, who did NOTHING in this match) makes the save.

LeDoux wants a rematch.

AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.

Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.

Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.

Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.

They brawl post match until Bockwinkel chases him off with a chair. Nick says he used to cheat to keep the title but it’s not fair here.

There’s another intermission to set up the cage.

Now the last three matches are in a cage, but for some reason on the tape they’re out of order. This is in the order that they air on the tape.

Nord the Barbarian/King Kong Brody vs. Jimmy Snuka/Greg Gagne

A few notes here: Snuka is a mystery partner subbing for Jerry Blackwell (that’s for the better, trust me), this match originally went on second of the three cage matches, King Kong Brody is Bruiser Brody because of some legit complaint from Dick the Bruiser, and if Snuka/Gagne win, Verne gets 10 minutes in the cage with Sheik Adnan-Al Kaissie. This is announced as the main event, even though there could be more stuff after it. Oh and Nord the Barbarian is just called Barbarian and is more famous as the Berzerker.

Snuka gets zero fanfare at all. Gagne looks like a 1996 version of Chavo Guerrero. They have to tag here so the match is automatically dropped a few notches. Gagne starts with Brody. Greg gets in a few punches but Brody kicks him in the face, making Gagne look like he got shot. Off to Barbarian who gets punched back into his own corner. Off to Snuka for a death defying chinlock.

The match slows way down as Brody comes in and knocks Snuka down. Then they stand around. Then they stand around some more. Snuka does his leapfrogs but Brody knocks him right back down. Off to Gagne and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it makes the match way better. If nothing else he sells everything like death which is usually a cool thing to see.

Greg gets rammed into the cage to bust him open. Good piledriver by Brody gets two. Nelson turns into an annoying fanboy again but Gagne’s comeback is shortlived. He manages to send Nord into the cage and there’s the hot tag (with a pop) to Snuka. Off to Brody who is busted open. He yells a lot as Snuka hammers away on him.

Snuka gets in Superfly position but hits a headbutt instead. Nord interferes and Snuka is in trouble again. Everything breaks down and the heels get rammed into each other. Double dropkick puts Nord down and a double suplex does the same to Brody. Snuka rams into Gagne by mistake, but Snuka gets up and dropkicks Nord who trips over Gagne and gets pinned.

Rating: D. Oh boy did they screw this up. First of all, WHERE IS THE SUPERFLY SPLASH??? You bring in Jimmy Snuka and he doesn’t even hit the move he’s legendary for in the kind of match he’s legendary for hitting it in? Second, there was way too much heel control here. The idea is supposed to be faces control to start, Gagne opens, tag to Snuka for more dominance, back to Gagne, Gagne gets beaten down, hot tag, finish.

Instead it was faces control, heels control, faces comeback, faces screw up, faces steal a win. The problem is that it doesn’t allow the fans to build up momentum. This match had the pieces of a decent match, but they were all in the wrong order which is what made it hard to stay invested in. Also the lack of a splash hurt it a lot.

Verne Gagne vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie

This has a backstory actually. The Sheik and his men broke Verne’s ribs….two years ago. They go in and Sheik automatically tries to run. Gagne slams him and Sheik’s belt is taken off. Not that it matters because the referee throws it away. Verne rams him into the cage and Sheik is busted BAD. For someone that is in a revenge match, Verne is standing around a lot. Backdrop sets up a sleeper but the Sheik breaks it up quickly. Sheik takes over but his slam is countered into a small package for the pin.

Rating: D-. Uh……WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? This was like 4 minutes long which is fine, but A SMALL PACKAGE IN A MATCH BASED ON REVENGE??? This should have been Verne destroying him but instead it was like two cage shots, some punches and a small package. I don’t get this at all and it was boring on top of that. Terribly stupid match.

Gagne retires again post match.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

That ends the show, but because I have no regard for my own sanity, I’ll thrown in a look at the music video namesake of this show: the WrestleRock Rumble. The idea is a music video of the roster “rapping”, because that fits in so well with the them of WrestleROCK. It’s supposed to be in the vein of the SuperBowl Shuffle from the Chicago Bears. This is going to be painful so let’s get it over with.

We open with Hall and Hennig getting out of a pool wearing Speedos. This isn’t going to be pretty is it? They want the Long Riders and “rhyme” about it, then the girls shove them into the pool. An interviewer raps and some Playboy chick says nothing of note. I’m better at rapping than the Rockers I believe. The Sheik sounds as stereotypical as possible. Blackwell, a fat country boy, is shown crushing a board.

Greg Gagne sounds like he smoked five packs a day. We see the same Hennig/Hall segment that started this nightmare. Amazingly enough, Zbyszko’s and Bockwinkel’s are the least bad. They’re not good, but they could have been a lot worse. LeDoux looks like he wants to die. Verne reads his rap, which is kind of funny. And that’s it. It’s terribly corny but it could have been MUCH worse. Again though, why call it a rap when the show has the word ROCK in the name? On top of that, country singer Waylon Jennings had a mini concert after the show. Even the AWA had no idea what they were doing here.

Overall Rating: D-. I won’t call it a failure, because there are some parts of a watchable show in here. The problem is they needed A LOT of stuff fixed here. First of all, cut this down from the over FOUR HOUR run time this already had down to about two hours and forty five minutes. Shave out the midget match and two to three more and it’s a far less uninteresting show.

Second, give us some reasons to watch these matches. This was a recurring problem in the AWA: there were no stories to back up these matches. The only one mentioned was Verne having broken ribs from a few years ago, which is a stretch but it’s better than nothing. There’s no reason to watch this show as the AWA was flying off a cliff at this point, but the matches for the most part aren’t horrible. They’re very boring, but they’re not horrible. Overall it’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and there are definitely much worse ones, but there’s no appeal here at all.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the WWE Championship from Amazon for just $5 at:

I’m doing this one for two reasons. First of all I want to get some more TNA shows done. Second, I read Foley’s book recently and I wanted to see how this match holds up by his comparisons. I watched this when it first aired and thought it was decent but was legitimately surprised with the ending. I remember nothing else about the show so this is kind of a fresh look for me. Let’s get to it.

I’m skipping the preshow as I have no desire to watch Danny Bonaduce in a match. And yes that happens.

The opening video only talks about Sting vs. Foley and the rest of the matches. I’m not a fan of this concept as it defeats the purpose of cage matches. It’s the Smashing Pumpkins speaking the words to Bullet With Butterfly Wings with some modified lyrics. We see Sting getting hit by a chair by Mick. The feud was about Foley not being done but Sting saying he was done. That comes off better than how Foley described it in words.

X-Division Title: Suicide vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir vs. Kiyoshi

This is an Xscape match where it’s first person out wins. Suicide is champion here. He appears in the ring which is rather cool. He kicks Bashir and it’s off. Ok with five people in there I can certainly live with this. Dang it this isn’t just the get out of the cage thing. You have to get three people out by pin or submission and THEN it’s first out wins. Sweet GOODNESS dude can you please keep ONE set of rules for ONE match?

Lethal Consequences beat up Bashir a bit as not much is going on here. Bashir is the favorite here for no apparent reason. They beat up everyone in sight and pin Kiyoshi after the big elbow from Lethal. This is really just a bunch of spots in a row. These are hard to get into as there is no real point to paying attention with the three pins needing to happen before anyone can escape.

Sheik pins Creed after a DDT which is called the WMDDT. I give up. DangI do that a lot don’t I? Big clothesline by Suicide to Lethal gets two. Suicide hits his finisher on Lethal so Bashir steals the pin which accomplishes nothing for him from an individual perspective but we’re down to the final two so the show is that much closer to being over so I’m not complaining.

Bashir is almost out until Suicide grabs his head to pull him back through the door. Cool visual if nothing else. They’re both sitting on the top of the cage and hammering away. Bashir almost falls twice and finally does on the third try. Kiyoshi won’t let Suicide go down so he’s like screw it and jumps onto the security guards to take them all out and keep the title.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but it could have been worse. I wish they would just stick with one set of rules or find a better name for the freaking thing. Suicide winning here is nice but I’d like to see a new champion here for a change. This wasn’t a great match but it was good enough for an opener for a show like this where everything is a gimmick match.

Sweet goodness Lauren is gorgeous. She’s with Daniels and AJ who are on the same page and aren’t worried about Jarrett.

Madison Rayne vs. Sojourner Bolt vs. ODB vs. Daffney

This is Queen of the Cage which I think is just a fatal fourway for the name Queen of the Cage. Rayne is fairly new here. Apparently the winner gets a title shot. Deaner is with ODB. Daffney was the Governor recently as TNA decided to have a Sarah Palin character. ODB gets some Liquid Courage to make things all good. There’s an album pitch in there somewhere.

I’m pretty sure this is just the first fall wins it. Yeah that’s what it is according to West. Everyone beats down ODB and then the other three have a little thing. Deaner slips the flask through the cage to her which fires her way up. Daffney hits a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza on Bolt. More drinking from ODB which is spat into Bolt’s face and a powerslam ends it.

Rating: D. Yeah I hated this. It was like six minutes long and was based around the joke of her more or less being an alcoholic. This was a waste of time and the ending was about as clear as a glass of water. Deaner and the whole white trash angle made Noble and Nidia look good. Not a fan of these matches at all.

We run down the rest of the card again.

Jarrett is here. All the members of his team but Joe is here.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles: Motor City Machine Guns vs. No Limit vs. LAX

Yes there are two Japanese tag titles on the line tonight, making a total of THREE tag title matches on one show. Oh it’s ok though as they’re globally recognized. You know, as opposed to when someone is the WORLD champion and are champions of the whole WORLD. Yeah the WORLD tag team champions aren’t globally recognized but these are. Sweet goodness I’m not a fan of this alleged cross promotional nonsense. This is a tornado match.

No Limit is a Japanese team that means nothing at all. We have five cruiserweights and Hernandez in here. Take a guess as to what kind of a match this is. One fall to a finish here. They try to explain how Hernandez can be in a Junior Heavyweight Title match and it doesn’t make sense as they say it’s like the X Division where there isn’t a weight limit, which of course is ridiculous due to the FREAKING NAME OF THE TITLE.

LAX dominates as amazingly enough, the one guy not like the others dominates the whole time. This is plodding along with two guys doing stuff while four lay down then repeat. The Guns remember that they’re the Guns and hammer away on SuperMex. Everyone beats up Shelley as Hernandez does even more stuff.

LAX in control now as they have been for a good while now. Yujiro of No Limit kicks out of a bunch of double team stuff. Sabin takes a very original move as Hernandez grabs him by the throat and throws him over his head like a belly to belly suplex but by his throat. Sweet goodness that was pretty awesome. The crowd isn’t exactly interested here either if you were wondering.

Naito misses a big spinning moonsault as the Guns climb the cage at the same time. And of course they dive off instead of just leaving which they could have done. Hernandez dominates again for awhile but No Limit takes him down again. Crowd is DEAD. Gringo Cutter to Yujiro off the top but the Guns wake up a bit and hit a Sliced Bread/powerbomb combination to Yujiro to more or less kill him and retain.

Rating: D+. This is another example of a time where TNA thought they were having something special and then at the end of the day no one but them cared. Who cares if there were Japanese tag titles on the line here? Why should I care about belts I’ve never seen before and likely won’t see afterwards? The crowd was bored as until the end nothing special happened here. Weak match but the Guns are always fun to see.

Abyss talks to Lauren who is apparently his girlfriend. She was concerned with him but I don’t think anything was ever made official. He’s trying to not use weapons at the moment and is somewhat neurotic at this point. He has Matt Morgan in a Doomsday Chamber of Blood which I think is a weapons first blood match.

We kind of preview the match which is simply that Abyss likes the cage and feels at home there. Morgan is a foreigner there. Oh and there’s barbed wire involved too. The Doomsday Chamber of Blood match is about one thing: carnage. Wouldn’t it be about, like, blood?

Doomsday Chamber of Blood: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

I’d assume it’s a first blood match. Oh ok you win by pin or submission but they have to be bleeding first. Mike makes sure to inform us that this is NOT a first blood match though, even it’s about bleeding first. Morgan had turned heel again and turned on Abyss. Is anyone really surprised by that? Morgan has a chair to start but it gets knocked back into his face.

Lots of punches to start. This is during the Dr. Stevie period for Abyss and him being all insane and whatnot like that. Basic big man match to start as the fans say they want blood. I’ve always wanted someone to come out with a needle or something and get a tiny poke with it to make the guy bleed and take credit for a win like that. Abyss can’t bring himself to use a chair and he’s in trouble because of it.

Morgan throws weapons out of the ring to protect himself, drawing great heat. I see no barbed wire at all mind you. The chair to Abyss’ head busted him open so Morgan threw them out as he had the stuff he needed already. That makes sense actually. Morgan gets a decent dropkick. Fans are rather bored here but not entirely. This gimmick match overload is starting to wear on them though.

He busts out the bag of glass, making the whole idea of him throwing the chair out TOTALLY POINTLESS. The fans want Stevie. Morgan can’t manage to shove glass into the head of the monster. Abyss comes back and rams him into the cage a bunch and gets a chokeslam but he can’t pin him due to the lack of laceration. Morgan misses a cross body and down goes the referee.

Abyss gets some glass and jams it into Morgan’s head which would likely kill him but who cares about that? He covers Morgan and here’s a second referee for the two count. Abyss goes to the floor and gets the chair. There has been NO barbed wire which was advertised. Dr. Stevie is revealed to be Stevie Richards to the shock of NO ONE and his distractions lets a Carbon Footprint gets two.

The fans chant ECW as you can feel Vince’s lawyers smile from here. Yes they actually made not only a PPV but a major angle out of this. After Stevie steals the chair, Abyss goes under the ring and gets a bag full of tacks. THEN WHY DID HE GO FOR THE CHAIR IF HE KNEW THOSE WERE THERE???

Stevie STORMS, yes STORMS I say, the ring and beats up Abyss which gets him nowhere. Good night could they not overbook a single match? And then Morgan jumps him and gives him a chokebomb into the tacks for the easy pin. Well I’m glad to see they got the important plot point of STEVIE RICHARDS in this.

Rating: D+. I saw no barbed wire in there which was promised. The rest of this was nothing special in the slightest. Again they overdid it for the sake of the live crowd and having no one care about the actual match due to them just wanting Steven. This wasn’t anything great at all and was just another Abyss weapons match which we’ve seen a thousand times.

Jarrett says AJ and Daniels should look at themselves in the mirror and not worry about them. He’s going to worry about himself more and that includes doing the right thing. Joe, massive knife in hand, comes in to say no tricks.

And now we recap the Knockouts Title match which is Love vs. Kong vs. Wilde with Kong holding the title. No reason for the match other than having the title be on the line. Love is the joke here so I’d bet a high amount of money on her winning this.

Knockouts Title: Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong vs. Taylor Wilde

I forgot how hot the BP were as the total stuck up witches. West doesn’t even bother hiding that he only cares about their looks. They cut Kong’s braids so she’s a good deal ticked off. Taylor is still hot. I’ve always liked how she high fives people on the way to the ring. Little things like that make big differences as you look like you CARE about the fans. It’s not much but it’s something at least.

Kong goes straight for Love and beats the tar out of her, as does Taylor. Yeah they’re not even trying to hide that she gets the title tonight. She gets out of a powerbomb and avoids the butt drop from Kong. The two blondes go at it with Love winning. She’s underrated in the ring. The total smark crowd wants Gail Kim. Velvet’s never ending smirk is sexy beyond belief.

Giant swing as we go WAY old school. Love dizzy is kind of funny as well. Kong stands on her hair and pulls her up which must hurt. She has dominated the vast majority of this match, which to be fair has only been about four minutes so far. Kong goes up and misses a front flip splash to a huge pop. Love kills Wilde with a kick and then she and Velvet tie Kong to the cage BY HER HAIR.

Instead of just ending it there with a quick move from Angelina like they should, they have a one on one match with Wilde and Love. Wilde goes over to laugh at Kong and gets kicked in the face so Love can pin her. Dang it is it impossible to make a champion look strong here at all???

Rating: C-. Not bad here actually as the ending was a legit surprise and well done. Not the new champion that is but the way they got rid of Kong. I wasn’t a fan of the in ring stuff as it was ALL Kong for the vast majority here and Wilde was just there so that the pin could work, but I’m really liking the ending which is what makes this match work for me. Well that and the girls were mostly gorgeous which is the main perk of the division.

Team 3D does some huge party deal with a bunch of fans. They’re Japanese tag champions too. They more or less say they love Philly and that Beer Money is going to die.

We get a package on the Dudleys and are told that they’re awesome. This is a unification match to an extent as both teams are champions and the winner gets both belts. I can’t stand this concept so they kept it up for the next six months or so. Oh and they’re in the jungle baby and they’re going to die. I give up.

TNA/IWGP Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Team 3D

The idea here is a Philadelphia street fight, as in you can come and go from the cage as you please, defeating the entire purpose of the cage at all. Bubba knocks the steps away from the cage door which does nothing at all for the most part. They’re in the cage to start and the door is shut despite them talking about it being the open cage thing the whole time.

And so much for that as they’re on the floor now. They might have been in the cage for about thirty seconds. The fans want tables as we head into the crowd. We go split screen as we’re in the crowd. They each get a quarter of the screen as half of it is a big Lockdown logo. Storm vs. Bubba and Roode vs. D-Von but they merge in a luxury box.

Falls count anywhere apparently. The required ECW chant starts up even though the crowd can’t see them for the most part here. West thinks the crowd is 98/2 for Team 3D. Thank you for that excellent analysis Mr. West. The fans still want tables. Just sit stuff on your laps guys. Back to the ring now as Storm uses the cage door as a weapon. Storm gets a table out which should be done by the face but why would that matter?

The heels climb onto the steps and give D-Von a double suplex through the table. Bubba is busted open and it’s 2-1 inside the cage. He gets a double clothesline to take down both guys that aren’t wearing shirts. Again I need more ways to tell you who does what without saying their names over and over. Roode takes a Bubba Bomb from the top rope.

The other 3D gets two on Roode. So he’s kicked out of two almost finishers while Storm has taken nothing. Why doesn’t Roode leave him at this point? The fans want more tables. Man alive how much stuff are they carrying? D-Von gets a top rope clothesline for two. What’s Up to Roode. Here comes the second batch of tables.

Beer Money comes back and hits what we would call the Mooregasm on D-Von for two. So apparently Ink Inc is better than Beer Money? Too many dead spots in here where they’re just setting other stuff up rather than actually doing anything. Storm accidentally slams the door onto the head of Roode, allowing 3D through the table to end it.

Rating: C. It wasn’t bad and was probably the best match of the night thus far but this still wasn’t great. The Dudleys win another tag title. Why is this supposed to mean something? It was an ok match but it really wasn’t anything all that great. Like I said there were too many dead spots and it was too long at 15 minutes. Not bad at all though.

Angle and the Mafia are very confident.

The recap is simple: Mafia vs. TNA originals/Frontline/generic face team name. There was something about Steiner vs. Jarrett too but I’m not sure.

Team Angle vs. Team Jarrett

It’s Lethal Lockdown, which is WarGames but after everyone is in there is a roof with weapons attached lowered and we only have one ring. You have two teams of four (thank GOODNESS!) people each. Each team sends in a man for five minutes and then there’s a coin toss. The winning team sends in a man for a 2-1 advantage for two minutes. After those two minutes are up the team that lost the toss sends in their second man to tie us up. Two minutes later the winning team goes up 3-2. You alternate every two minutes and then lower the roof after everyone is in.

Angle vs. Daniels to start us off here. Daniels has been back in TNA for a total of four days. Daniels actually gets him down to start and holds him there. Angle realizes he’s Angle and takes care of that. This is a slow paced start here with both guys working on the mat. That’s not bad though and it’s working for the most part as they’re solid there.

Team Angle has the advantage apparently which might have been determined already. TNA does that on occasion which makes sense at least. Daniels gets the Koji Clutch out of nowhere with about 5 seconds to go. I know I didn’t say much in there but it was just dull stuff. Granted that could be due to Daniels. Booker is in second and drills Daniels, who apparently was surprised. I guess the music, the clock and the BIG FREAKING WRESTLER didn’t get his attention.

Angle gets back up after about a minute and a half and it’s the big beatdown with about 45 seconds left until we tie it up again. For some reason Booker took forever to come into the match so they only got about 90 seconds in there. AJ ties us up. He took the Legends Title from Booker last month so there’s your reason for him being there. AJ just looks freaking awesome there, running in with his eyes looking awesome. I think I’m bordering on a man crush here.

AJ and Daniels destroy the Mafia with sweet double team stuff. They always had a chemistry together which again I have to put on AJ for bringing up Daniels. I am not a fan of his at all and I don’t get his appeal. His style is way too out there for me and it’s how ROH tends to work. Not a fan of it. Steiner is in third meaning Nash will be the final guy. Yeah I’m stunned too that he has the least to do.

Steiner Lines all around. Daniels takes a big old suplex but AJ takes what Steiner calls the Frankensteiner now even though that simply isn’t what it is anymore. Joe is third to add up the holy trinity of the X Division…and there’s no Joe. He’s getting advice from his mentor, who would turn out to be Taz. While he’s standing there though his partners are getting destroyed.

Ah here’s Joe, complete with the “tattoo” on his face. Steiner vs. Joe is a sad sight for some reason. Having only eight people in here is a VERY nice perk as the ten that most people have is way too many. When you had two rings in WCW that was ok as there was more than enough room.

Nash comes in last and Joe FREAKS on him, not even letting him into the ring. And so much for that as he drills Joe and gets in anyway. Ok everyone that is in the match so far is in there. Best Moonsault Ever to Nash but we can’t cover yet. Not that it matters as it’s not like Nash would let Daniels get a pin on him anyway. Here’s Jarrett to tie us up and get us to the final part of the match.

He cleans house in his powder blue tights as the roof with weapons on it is lowered. Basically now it turns into who can get out of the cage for the big spot first. Because TNA is stupid, we go to a SIX WAY SCREEN SPLIT. Since there is a total of one ring, they realize this is stupid and go to a regular shot. Angle has managed to find a hole in the roof and is on top. AJ follows him so we get a little breathing room in the ring.

AJ vs. Angle squaring off on top of the cage is kind of cool looking. Angle tries to suplex him off but it gets blocked due to it being like deadly. Angle gets back in the ring after a bit and hits the Slam on Jarrett. AJ is up on top of the cage and is just like screw it and dives through the top of the cage, breaking it and landing on the Mafia. When I say on the Mafia I mean they all back up so they don’t have to catch him and let him crash. Nice guys.

Joe goes off until Booker takes him down and spins up. I hate the name so I don’t feel like typing it. Jarrett swings a chair at Booker and hits AJ who is somehow still alive after that jump. Joe gets all ticked off at him but gets caught in the Slam because he’s not paying attention. Angel’s Wings gets two on Angle. Basically this is just everyone hits big moves until Jarrett gets the guitar and sets to hit AJ but drills Booker like he’s supposed to and AJ gets the pin.

Rating: B. Pretty solid stuff here with the four people per team DEFINITELY being a good idea. This wasn’t the best match they’ve ever had with this gimmick but this one worked pretty well. They got into that formula that isn’t very exciting here but the big dive from AJ was a very solid spot, although someone CATCHING HIM would have been nice. Solid stuff here though and DEFINITELY the best match of the night so far.

Post match Bobby Lashley comes out and points a lot. He wouldn’t be seen for months I don’t think. Ah apparently he would be on Impact and then not be seen until July.

Some music interrupts the beginning of Sting’s promo which apparently they couldn’t hear. Sting says you have to expect the unexpected. This is the whole point in watching this show for me so maybe it’ll be good. Sting says that if the belt winds up in the wrong hands then it’s the beginning of the end for TNA.

Foley is looking at his barbed wire ball bat and says that Mick isn’t here tonight but rather Cactus Jack is around. He makes the rule change where you can win by escape. There was supposed to be a special cage built but it didn’t happen.

We recap the feud which was about Foley missing a chair shot and hitting Sting by mistake. Then on Impact he hit him on purpose. This was a respect thing apparently as Sting was cashing the checks that Foley’s body wrote. That’s a solid line actually.

TNA World Title: Sting vs. Mick Foley

This is just a standard match for the first time all night I believe. These are my two favorite wrestlers ever so this is an awesome sight to see. Also their 92 feud was awesome so I’m really looking forward to this. Foley being introduced with the bat is awesome for some reason. They stand off to start which makes sense as Foley had been talking about how this was his greatest rival. Granted they hadn’t associated with each other in seventeen years but whatever.

Foley punches himself in the head and cuts himself open, which he claimed was a new wound rather than the one he had done on Impact. Foley takes over to start and goes to leave almost immediately but the fight begins on top of the ropes. Basically Foley dominates to start as West actually analyzes things a bit here. They fight on the ropes again with Sting hitting a belly to back off the top for two.

Foley gets stuck in a Tree of Woe and Sting pounds away. Sting goes for the leg which is apparently hurt now due to the Tree of Woe. That’s a new one I think. Spinning neckbreaker by Foley gets two. He goes for the cage but just kind of stops because of the leg. The door is off limits again I think which might be a rule all night.

Mick gets the Scorpion of all things on Sting which lasts about as long as Foley’s third title reign by comparison. Foley calls for the door to be open and shoves Hebner out of the way. Since he can’t climb he has no issue with going through the door apparently. For no apparent reason he hits a baseball slide to the cameraman in the hole he uses.

Foley tries to climb through said hole but gets caught by Sting and locked in the Deathlock. He crawls to the hole in the cage and has the cameraman slip him the bat. This is getting better. Sting tries to go up but gets caught by a shot to the leg with the bat and another one to send him to the mat. And then he’s fine seconds later, beating up Foley with the bat instead.

The barbed wire on the bat breaks up and goes into Sting’s eyes. He wraps Socko in it and gives Sting a running knee in the corner. What was funny/bad here was that he also slammed his head into the cage and busted his head open legitimately. Both guys are busted now and the fans are way behind Foley which is weird to see for a Sting opponent.

Both go up the cage but on different sides. Foley DIVES to the floor and amazingly enough wins the title totally clean. He said in the book that there were like 4 seconds left in the show here which never made sense based on what I remembered and I was right as there was like forty seconds left.

Rating: B-. I’m probably being very biased here but I liked this. They had a slow build here and the ending, while surprising, makes sense. Foley is a hardcore wrestler and he beat Sting in a hardcore match. Also the idea was for Foley to come out and prove to Sting that he still had it so what better way than to take his title? This was good although it was slow at times which hurts it.

Overall Rating: D+. This show is LONG. That’s the only way to put it. The main events are both good and they keep this from being a failure. Having eight cage matches completely defeats the purpose of a cage match. Foley vs. Sting in a cage is a major match if booked right and the match was rather brutal. However it’s still the EIGHTH time we’ve seen a cage tonight, and with having a gimmick for every match, it wore very thin.

This show doesn’t work often and until the final 45 minutes of this show it was looking to be the worst ever in the series. This worked at the end though and the old guys put on the best match of the night more than likely. Check out Sting vs. Foley if you’re a fan of theirs as it’s fun stuff and Lethal Lockdown if you’re a WarGames fan, but other than that stay clear due to reasons of boring.

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