Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to Orlando for another week of shows, but after this (next week I believe) they’re off to England. Anyway, we now don’t have a number one contender because of the interference last week. This is probably setting up a triple threat or a fatal fourway at the PPV, which isn’t what I’m wanting but it’s probably going to happen and that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the whole issue from last week and how we have no #1 contender.

Jeff is beating up Ray in the back and rams him into a table a few times. Jeff chokes him with a broom and the fight keeps going. The cameraman chases after him and Ray gets in some weak shots. They go through a door and Hardy keeps beating him up. A white truck pulls up with Roode in it and he saves Ray by ramming Jeff into a sign. Ray gets a wooden pallet but opts for some metal thing instead. He drops the pallet on Jeff’s leg and then does it again. They throw him in the truck but Storm comes in for the save but is beaten down as well. Sting eventually chases everyone off. The sight of him sans paint scared them.

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara

The winner gets Gail at Against All Odds. Tara uses the Matrish to avoid a clothesline so it hits Velvet. We get into the standard formula of two fight while the third is down. Tara and Mickie do most of the fighting as we take a break. Back with Velvet monkey flipping Tara but Mickie breaks up whatever she was trying with a neckbreaker on Sky. Velvet knocks them both down, then Mickie knocks them both down. Thesz Press gets two on Velvet and a spinning kick gets the same on Tara. Velvet breaks up the jumping DDT and Tara hits the spinning side slam on Velvet onto Mickie (as in Sky landed on Mickie) for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. I think I’m getting very biased against women’s wrestling, but I just do not care at all about it. It’s whoever is hot at the moment and that’s about it. It’s not like people really care about it but they get a ton of time anyway. I don’t get it but there’s no way around it. Either way, weak match here but Tara vs. Gail could be good.

Gail says bring it.

We see highlights of the opening brawl earlier.

Here are Sting, Storm and Hardy to no music. He asks for Roode and Ray to get out here and the fight continues. Sting holds the good guys back with the bat and tries to calm things down. He gets them apart and says stay on one side. They fight again and eventually it’s made into a tag team tables match for later. That would be better if it wasn’t announced in the clip before the show started.

Shelley is facing Zema Ion and if he wins he gets the shot at Aries at Against All Odds.

Eric Young is getting ready and thinks a stagehand is Sammy Davis Jr. Angelina and Winter come up and imply sex. And they Love hits him low but he’s wearing a cup.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley takes over to start and gets a rollup for two. Zema beats him into the corner and doesn’t want this on cameras. He comes out of the corner with a spinning body press for two. Reverse powerbomb by Shelley and a powerbomb puts Ion on the floor. They fly around a bit and Ion sets for the 450 but Shelley moves and Sliced Bread ends this at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was a standard cruiserweight match and that’s about it. Shelley is fun to watch but ever since they’ve changed the weight limit, the title feels very secondary and the matches and feuds have felt like filler instead of something that I should care about. Such is life in a company run by Bischoff and Hogan.

AJ says that this business has changed everyone and tonight, he’s finding out why Kaz is Daniels’ puppet.

Tara says she’ll be training harder than ever and can beat Gail.

Earlier today, Eric went to Garrett’s gym to find out who the trainer is. Eric goes in and sees who it is but sends the trainer away. He was freaked out by it.

Winter/Angelina Love vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with the referee who winds up on the apron and is then brought in. Now he tags in Eric and gets locked up with. Mike calls this the Harlem Globetrotters of wrestling. I’ve seen the Harlem Globetrotters. Eric Young is no Globetrotter. Over two minutes in and no contact yet. Winter finally hits him so Eric strips. ODB finally comes in and I’ve never been happier to see her in my life.

A Bronco Buster is messed up and Angelina takes over a few seconds later. Off to Winter who puts her in the Tree of Woe which is an image I don’t need. ODB gets in a shot and Eric throws in the flask for….another shot I guess. There’s the fallaway slam and nip up. Far too much of this match has been spent showing her underwear. Eric comes in and we get stereo airplane spins. TKO ends Angelina at 7:00.

Rating: F. I know Eric Young is popular. I get that, but my goodness I’m not a fan of him at all. This got seven minutes which is a lot of time that could have been used for someone else. Also, there was far too much of ODB losing her clothes.

Ray and Roode fire each other up for the match later.

Video on the tag title feud with Joe/Magnus challenging the champs.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Joe strikes him into the corner to start but Morgan uses the power of choking and chopping to come back. Morgan plays to the crowd with the elbows but gets caught in the choke. He breaks it quickly and beats on Joe even more. Clothesline gets two. Joe gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope leg lariat gives him control.

A running charge in the corner and a kick to the head get two. Morgan takes over again and hits some clotheslines. A side slam gets two. Hellevator takes too long to set up so Joe kicks him down and a backsplash gets two. Morgan gets back up and hits a discus clothesline for….three? Mike sounds just as surprised as I am but it got the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was just ok. It still amazes me how far Joe has fallen in just a few years. He’s floated from random feud to random feud for years now and I still am not clear as to why that’s happened. This feud continues the theory that tag wrestling is done in this country, at least for the time being.

The champs get beaten down with Morgan taking the double team finisher from Magnus and Joe.

Hardy and Storm say they’ll win with a boom.

AJ wants to get to the bottom of this with Kaz and knows Daniels is pulling the strings. Here are Daniels and Kaz and the latter can’t talk to AJ. Daniels talks about how AJ is always throwing a tantrum about something or other. He says Kaz doesn’t owe AJ a thing. AJ goes to the floor but Daniels and Kaz backpedal. Daniels calls AJ a thug so AJ says he’ll turn around and let Kaz take his head off.

Kaz goes to leave but Daniels directs him to go do it. He goes to the apron and can’t do it. Daniels goes in and AJ knocks him to the floor with ease. AJ says Kaz can get in here right now and shake his hand and we’ll forget all this. The idiots at the Impact Zone count for some reason as Kaz gets in. AJ sticks out his hand but Daniels says Kaz isn’t going to do that so he gets out. Daniels says he’s had it and says he’s going to propose AJ vs. Kaz.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Tables match. They manage to stay calm during the big match intros. SO Sting with a ball bat isn’t enough to keep them apart but Jeremy Borash is? Weird company man. Beer Money explodes on a table as Ray tries to suplex Hardy through one, only for Jeff to hang onto the ropes with his feet. This is all on the floor. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face. Ray takes over on Hardy but Storm makes the save. We take a break with Ray taking a water bottle to the head.

Back with Ray hitting Hardy with a chair. Hardy slingshots Ray into a post and a table is sent into the ring. Storm and Hardy try to suplex Roode through the table but Ray moves the table then takes them both down. It’s one person going through the table to end it. Roode comes back and stomps Storm to the floor so it’s Roode and Hardy in the ring now.

A table is set up in the corner and Hardy is almost able to send Roode through it but Ray makes the save. Ray tries a big boot through Hardy through the table but Jeff moves, leaving a hole in the table. Codebreaker takes Ray out but a spinebuster takes out Storm. Ray puts Hardy’s head against the post and punches it for awhile.

Storm goes into the steps and Hardy is put on the table in the ring. Ray goes up but Storm kicks him down. Now Storm goes up and Roode loads up a superplex through the table but Jeff moves. Hardy pulls Roode down and hits a Twist so he can put Roode on the table. Storm elbows Roode through it to win at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad table match and it was pretty fun on top of that. I’d assume this will wind up being a fourway for the title which is fine and would be a good way to shift it over to Hardy. This was a fun way to end the show as table matches are always popular for some reason that I’ve never quite gotten.

Post match, Ray destroys the winners with a chair and Hardy is powerbombed through a table.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of TNA lately. The stories are all there and mostly make sense, but nothing they’re doing is grabbing me. Pretty much it’s “this happens then this happens which leads us to this.” That’s fine, but it’s not going to get people excited about things. It’s not a bad show at all but it really isn’t all that interesting. I couldn’t get into it all night and was just wanting it to end, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Tara b. Mickie James and Velvet Sky – Pinned James after a spinning side slam to Sky
Alex Shelley b. Zema Ion – Sliced Bread #2
ODB/Eric Young b. Angelina Love/Winter – TKO to Love
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Discus Clothesline
Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Storm put Roode through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Souled Out 1998
Date: January 24, 1998
Location: Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio
Attendance: 5,486
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan, Dusty Rhodes

 

More back to back reviews so I can have a full series done, in this case Souled Out as I’ll be doing this and 2000 back to back to get these off my list. Anyway this show never was much as far as importance goes and the card makes that pretty clear. There’s a double main event of a grudge match with Luger vs. Savage (which I’ll get to later about why you could tell this company was in trouble) and Hart vs. Flair in Bret’s first big WCW match. Let’s get to it.

 

This is on a Saturday if that means anything to you.

 

We open with a video about Nash vs. Giant which is actually happening tonight as Nash had bailed on the match at Starrcade. Both had to put up 1.5 million dollars bond to guarantee various things that don’t matter. The video is about Bischoff collecting souls or something. Whatever.

 

The announcers run down the card while the fans chant for the Weasel. We’re going to get an announcement about the world title that is vacant because WCW was incredibly stupid and managed to screw up the unscrewupable.

 

Juventud Guerrera/Super Calo/Lizmark Jr/Chavo Guerrero vs. La Parka/Silver King/Psicosis/El Dandy

 

I’m not sure who the favorites are here but I’d never be one to doubt El Dandy. This is under Lucha Libre rules which means if you hit the floor that’s as good as a tag. Calo vs. Psicosis to start us off. Calo gets an armdrag to send Psicosis to the floor but he comes back in. No substitution which is kind of odd but whatever. Psicosis chops away and drops an elbow on the back to take over.

 

Powerslam by Calo and a tilt-a-whirl slam and it’s off to Silver King vs. Lizmark. This is one of those matches where it’s nearly impossible to keep up with what’s going on and that more or less isn’t the point at all. Silver King gets a tornado DDT but it’s off to Chavo vs. El Dandy. Big monkey flip to Dandy and they’re out rather quickly.

 

Off to La Parka vs. Juvy now. They’re moving in very quickly out there. They fight on the apron with La Parka falling on his face in a funny spot. Back in the ring and Guerrera gets a kick to the face and a SWEET top rope rana puts Parka on the floor. Off to Lizmark who gets a moonsault to take Juvy down. Off to Psicosis who gets rolled up. Dandy is in and gets La Magistrol for two.

 

Calo comes in to face Silver King but the whole thing breaks down. Tenay says he more or less has no idea what’s going on. Juvy botches the heck out of a rana on Silver King but Juvy escapes and mostly hits a 450 for two. Parka gets a powerbomb on Guerrera for two. Falcon Arrow to Chavo sets up the guillotine legdrop by Psicosis. Some people are thrown to the floor so it’s Silver King vs. Super Calo.

 

LET THE DIVING BEGIN as everyone goes after everyone and there is no point at all to try to call this. The only ones left in the ring are Chavo and Psicosis with Chavo in control. Psicosis misses a charge and Chavo hits the tornado DDT (his finisher) to end this. La Parka kills them all with chairs because he feels like it. He beats up his own partners too and does his chair dance to a big reaction.

 

Rating: B. WOW. This is one of the most insanely fast matches you’ll ever see and for an opener, THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT. Was it technically sound or really even sound at all? Not in the slightest, but that’s not the point here. The idea here was to just go insane and have everyone look awesome and that’s what they did. Fun mach.

 

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

 

Raven is listed at 239lbs. That’s much lighter than I would expect. The Flock is with him and the they actually come out from the entrance. There’s no Saturn here as he would start his rebellion. The Flock is barred from ringside apparently. Raven complains about things and doesn’t seem to care. This is Raven’s Rules, as in No DQ.

 

Raven gets a baseball slide to Benoit as he comes in and we head to the floor early. Back in the ring and Benoit grabs a quick backslide for two. This is far more of a brawl than a match but Benoit can easily pull that off so it works well. Back to the floor and Raven grabs a chair. Bulldog onto the unfolded chair gets two as Benoit gets a foot on the ropes. Benoit pulls a Raven with a drop toehold onto the chair for two in a sick looking spot.

 

Benoit chops away and down he goes. Suplex onto the chair gets two. Benoit gets the shirt off of Raven and returns the favor of the baseball slide, sending Raven into the railing. A whip into the steps follows as Raven tries to run away. They go up the aisle and Raven is suplexed to keep Benoit’s advantage. Back in the ring and Benoit puts the chair on Raven’s face. The Swan Dive CRACKS into the chair and both guys are out. FREAKING OW MAN! That looked incredible but DANG it must have hurt.

 

Somehow that only gets two. The crowd is insane here by the way. See what a great opener can get you? Northern Lights is countered by the DDT which is kind of known as Raven’s finisher but not officially. Fans are totally behind Benoit here. Another DDT is countered into the Crossface and Raven….smiles while in it. That boy is not right. He passes out in the hold and we’re done.

 

Rating: B+. This was a war. These are two of the hottest openers I can remember in a very long time. Total beating from both guys here as we got incredibly physical. That swan dive is something else. Raven could have been totally awesome but instead we got more NWO. Anyway, great war here and Benoit looks like a killer.

 

Kidman of the Flock comes out for the beatdown but Malenko comes out for the save for no apparent reason. The whole Flock comes out but Raven is done. Benoit and Malenko look at each other…and that’s about it.

 

Cruiserweight Title: Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

 

Rey is champion here and Jericho is a heel. We keep hearing about how big of a heart he has. Shouldn’t he see a cardiologist already? Rey has a legit bad knee here (shocking I know) and is going away after this match (not announced of course) so I think you know the ending here. Jericho tries to be a bully and gets slapped instead. Jericho runs him over with a shoulder. When do you see Jericho with a size and power advantage?

 

Rey gets a nice headscissors to send Jericho to the floor. He uses what would evolve into the 619 but his knee goes out in mid move. Rey locks on a chinlock which is countered for a bit but that counter is countered into a victory roll by Rey for two. Rey wants a rana to the floor but with Jericho on the apron he catches Rey and drops him throat first on the top rope while jumping to the floor. Cool counter.

 

Jericho gets a butterfly backbreaker and sets up the steps before heading back into the ring. Rey fights back and gets what was kind of a jumping Killswitch to take Jericho down. Baseball slide to Jericho’s leg takes Jericho to the floor. Running tope con hilo into a seated senton puts Jericho down again but the knee is gone.

 

Rey manages to get a flapjack to Jericho to send him into the steps. West Coast Pop is broken up and the knee is wrenched all over again. Jericho goes up and Rey tries the rana which is countered into the Walls (Liontamer at the time but you get the idea). Finish was out of NOWHERE which makes me think the knee was completely destroyed. Rey would be gone until July so that knee was really messed up.

 

Rating: B-. A lot of that is for the knee. Rey was legitimately trying out there but there comes a point where the injury is too much to deal with. They did everything they could out there but with the knee falling apart mid match there’s only so much you can do. Rey’s knees would never really work again for the most part.

 

Jericho gloats post match and beats up Mysterio with the knee brace. Cody Rhodes is smiling somewhere. He slams an anvil case into the knee which goes into the steps.

 

JJ Dillon and Gene are in the ring. Dillon has the vacant world title and it’s time for an announcement about it. Ok so in case you don’t know what happened, Sting had been the Crow that didn’t talk forever and Hogan had been champion more or less for 16 months. Sting finally got his shot at Hogan at Starrcade in what should have been a massacre of Hogan with Sting dominating him to win the title.

 

However since this is WCW, they screwed it up. Hogan more or less beat Sting up and the fans simply did not accept this. The whole thing was rejected and the audience steadily began to head over to WWF. The problem was simple: WCW had built this up for over a year and the fans wanted to see something.

 

I’ve heard the excuse of Sting was high or something when they got there, but if he can at least perform at all, Hogan should not have had a chance. Hogan danced around out there and Sting looked like a fool. I still stand by my statement that this was the bullet that took WCW down. Read the Starrcade 97 review for the full details.

 

So anyway, the title was held up at the first Thunder and there’s a rematch. Unfortunately it’s not tonight as that would be giving too much credit to the fans I guess, so if you REALLY want to see Hogan vs. Sting, BUY SUPERBRAWL!!!! Oh wait I’m getting ahead of myself. Dillon brings out Roddy Piper who was interim commissioner and was consulted on this. He hasn’t been seen since the terrible main event of Halloween Havoc.

 

Ah apparently he made Hogan vs. Piper in the first place. He talks about everyone involved including Scott Hall who won World War 3 and is the official #1 contender. Piper calls out Sting, Hall and Hogan. Sting comes first and then the others do as well but along with Bischoff. Naturally they take forever.

 

Hall is #1 contender to the world champion but we have no world champion. Piper says that Hogan has a claim to the title but he doesn’t get it. The rematch is made for Superbrawl and Hall would eventually get the title match at Uncensored (albeit in the second to last match as Hogan vs. Savage was the main event). In other words, it took five months for him to win his shot and then actually get it. Hall walks away and is like “whatever”. Sting chases Hogan and Bischoff off. This took over ten minutes somehow.

 

TV Title: Rick Martel vs. Booker T

 

Booker has the title here. No one is really sure why Martel came back as he was old and not the Model or anything but just a guy in a leather jacket that you’ve likely heard of. They feel each other out to start us off with both guys getting two. I’m still trying to figure out why Martel is getting a push like this. He’s certainly not bad and could wrestle a perfectly watchable match at this point (he destroyed his knee at the next PPV and had to retire) but it’s still a really weird pick.

 

Booker works on the arm for a bit. Suplex and a side kick get two and we’re back to the arm. Pretty much all Booker so far as he gets a hook kick for two. Martel makes Booker miss but gets caught in an armdrag and it’s the armbar again. Leap frog by Martel is countered by what might be a headbutt to the balls. Martel might have been faking it and suckers Booker in to hammer away, almost doing a mid-match heel turn.

 

Off to the chinlock now by Martel who is all evil now. Booker hammers away but a spinebuster takes him down for two. More back work by Martel, this time in the form of an abdominal stretch. Booker tries a comeback but misses a dropkick. Quebec (Boston) Crab goes on and Booker is in trouble. Oh never mind as he grabs a rope. This is a pretty generic although decent match. Axe kick out of nowhere gets no cover as Booker goes up. The Harlem Hangover ends this. It’s a front flip legdrop if you’re unfamiliar.

 

Rating: C+. Not bad but just kind of generic like I said. Martel was ok but he wasn’t interesting in the slightest. He never could get anywhere with the comeback due to his knee injury but this was as good as it was going to get I think. Could have been on Nitro though, which is rarely a good sign.

 

Post match Martel hands Booker the belt. After Booker leaves Saturn pops up to beat up Martel. Booker would face Martel at the next PPV and then face Saturn immediately thereafter.

 

Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko

 

This is the culmination of some weird AWA angle that no one cared about but it resulted in Larry having a few matches. Hall has the soon dead Louie Spicolli with him. Dusty wonders who is coming out with Larry, and to the shock of no one, it’s Dusty himself. Bobby thinks the fans at home are standing over this pick. Uh, why? Also who thought purple and gold/yellow were good signature colors for a wrestling company?

 

The announcers touch on the AWA stuff a bit but never say any specifics. Larry controls early with amateur/mat stuff. Heenan talks about Ted DiBiase for no apparent reason. The other announcers point out that he has the wrong person and Heenan ADMITS HE’S WRONG!!! They’re taking their sweet time out here with nothing going on at all really. Larry gets an abdominal stretch which is countered by a hiptoss for the biggest spot of the match so far.

 

The hold goes right back on and it’s the same counter. Larry goes for the neck so Hall gets to the ropes. Big old right hand to Larry puts Larry down and Spicolli adds in a shot. Cue Dusty to something resembling a good reaction going after Spicolli. This is rather boring so far and the fans seem to realize that. The fans chant for Larry and he starts the comeback. Hall goes for the legs as this is really boring. Also, this is the #1 contender remember.

 

LOUD Larry sucks chant starts up with Tony more or less saying the fans have no idea what they’re talking about. A Hall sucks chant starts up so Tony is all happy. The dueling chants begin as Hall gets the fall away slam. Oh and Hall/Nash are the tag champions here. A backdrop gets Larry out of the Outsider Edge and here’s the comeback again.

 

Larry, the old man, pounds Hall down and shoves the referee which lets Hall come back. Somehow that isn’t a DQ but since when does WCW keep their DQ rules the same for more than one show in a row? Larry accidentally kicks the referee and Hall takes Zbyszko down. Larry plays possum on Hall and gets his guillotine choke on him. Spicolli comes in and punches Larry but THAT isn’t enough for the DQ.

 

Dusty comes in to a big reaction to hammer away and do something that I think is supposed to be dancing. He drills Louie with a bunch of elbows to the cranium…and joins the NWO by hitting Larry and taking off his shirt to reveal the black and white. Does this really surprise anyone? The big beatdown leads to the DQ and Tony and Bobby are disgusted.

 

Rating: D. This was whatever really. No one, and I mean no one, cared about Dusty turning here. He wouldn’t be around that long at all as he would head over to ECW and then come back in like a year and a half. Spicolli was supposed to fight Zbyszko at Superbrawl but he wouldn’t be alive in 30 days. Weak match here and a waste of Hall who was being pushed at this point.

 

We recap the segment and Tony hates it. The fans still think Larry sucks, proving that the whole thing failed.

 

Scott Norton/Buff Bagwell/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

 

Traylor is the Big Boss Man. Tony walks off set for a bit so Tenay comes out to give us Tenay and Heenan on commentary. Ok dude, EVERYONE has joined the NWO and this is supposed to be a big deal. The Steiner team has DiBiase with them and the NWO has Vincent which is kind of cool. Scott Steiner is teasing a heel turn as he has been doing for about the last six months. He would finally turn the next month.

 

Tony comes back and whines about Dusty. Yep this is going to go on forever isn’t it? Scott Steiner (blast it I have to specify in this match don’t I) wants to start but his partners won’t let him because they know he won’t tag out. Buff and Rick officially start. We talk about Dusty a lot and completely ignore the match at hand, which makes sense as there’s nothing to this match anyway.

 

Buff destroys him to start until a powerslam or something like one gets Rick out of trouble. Off to Traylor who hammers away. Two minutes in and Tony stops posting in his Livejournal about how much he hates Dusty now. Basically this is a handicap match since Rick and Traylor won’t tag Scott in due to him being a whiny twerp as I said. I know I’m repeating a lot of stuff but there’s nothing to say here otherwise.

 

Rick rips away at Buff’s face and Norton finally comes in. It’s weird that the team wrestling with two guys had made more tags than the team with three. Traylor hammers away on Norton and beats on Buff too. The numbers catch up with them and Heenan has a Freudian slip by talking about Dusty again. For the love of tar shut up about him! Konnan vs. Traylor at the moment in this boring match.

 

Tony announces again that he’s going to stop thinking about it. Naturally it takes him 15 seconds to stop talking about how he’s going to stop talking about it. Traylor and Norton collide and everyone is down. Scott Steiner hasn’t been in yet at all. Konnan gets a DDT to take down Rick as Tony tries to say Dusty is the reason the crowd is dead. Well at least he’s funny about it.

 

Rick gets beaten up on the floor as the VERY ANGRY Scott Steiner won’t even get off the apron to help. He’s kind of being a jerk when you think about it. The problem is that we keep seeing the same combinations of five guys that aren’t interesting in the slightest. Scott Steiner gets over next to Traylor on the same side which isn’t something you see often. They argue about it because they feel like annoying me.

 

Chinlock by Buff to Rick and Scott Steiner continues to be annoying as he wants a tag. Konnan beats on Rick for awhile as we need this to end or at least do something already. The fans are bored out of their minds and the announcers keep blaming it on Dusty instead of a terribly bad 6 man tag. For a nice change of pace, Norton beats on Rick for awhile now. This beating segment has been going on for like 4 minutes now.

 

Rolling dropkick by Konnan but Rick FINALLY breaks off some offense and everyone is down. Scott Steiner and Traylor tag in at the same time so no one is sure what’s going on. The future Big Poppa Pump shoves the referee and gets tagged in….somehow. Steiner Screwdriver (look that insane move up) to Konnan ends this.

 

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with Rick being in there forever. This was boring beyond belief and the crowd died from it. The announcers didn’t care at all and they talked about the Dusty turn the entire turn. Steiner would FINALLY turn next month and then do nothing of note for about six months due to Goldberg getting the focus as he should have.

 

Scott Steiner and Bagwell have some weird moment post match for even more foreshadowing.

 

Giant vs. Kevin Nash

 

This is the match that was supposed to happen for months but Nash didn’t show up at Starrcade because he didn’t want to lose to Giant. Remember that. After all the months of waiting, they lock up. Riveting stuff so far. Hogan and Bischoff are here with Nash because Hogan put up the 1.5 million dollars required to get Nash here. The deal was Nash had to ensure he’d be here (think about that for a minute) and Giant had to put it up to ensure he wouldn’t touch Nash. Riveting stuff.

 

Giant beats on him for awhile and Nash bails. Bobby literally whispers things into Tony’s ear and Tony gets annoyed at him for it. Giant chokes away in the corner with the foot and it’s more or less all future Big Show. Nash busts out a freaking leap frog of all things and puts Giant on the floor. NASH JUMPS OVER THE TOP ONTO GIANT AND GETS CAUGHT IN THE AIR!!! Think about that for a few seconds. Once your minds are done getting blown and you towel off, I’ll be here waiting.

 

Giant throws Nash in and Bischoff distracts the referee, allowing Hogan to DRILL Giant in the back with a chair. Giant makes it back in at about 9.8 and here comes Nash. We need a name for the spot where a guy is in position for a 619 and a guy gets a running start to jump on his back/neck. Giant shrugs the offense off and takes Nash down with a clothesline.

 

Both guys try big boots at the same time and they’re both down. Nash hammers away with his usual big power spots but walks into an atomic drop and some headbutts to take him down. Big boot puts Nash down as does a slam. Bischoff pops up and gets a chokeslam as a late Christmas present. Nash gets coffee from….somewhere and throws it in Giant’s eyes. Nash then tries the Jackknife and drops Giant ON HIS HEAD, looking like he killed him dead to end it. The crowd is completely silent after that for a second as that was terrifying. Giant would be out about a month because of it.

 

Rating: D. Well some of the spots were cool but giant vs. giant matches get kind of dull after awhile. The powerbomb at the end is absolutely terrifying though. Naturally they show the replay twice. One other thing to note here: Nash won the match. In other words, he avoided jobbing by not showing up and got to win a month later. And people said they didn’t have stroke backstage.

 

Bret Hart vs. Ric Flair

 

Basically just an “I’m better than you” match. Somehow this is Bret’s in ring debut for WCW. How in the world did they wait this long, AND WHY IN THE WORLD WAS THIS NOT AT STARRCADE??? Oh that’s right: we needed a boring six man on that show! Bret grabs a headlock and eventually takes him to the mat with it. This has a ton of time for it and Heenan wastes some of it by talking about Flair’s sex life.

 

Flair is only 48 here and is still rather good in the ring. My goodness did he go downhill during the Evolution years. Bret grabs a figure four for a bit but a rope is grabbed quickly. Suplex gets two and we’re back to that headlock. Bret slaps Flair down and the blonde haired one takes a break on the floor. Back in and Bret throws Flair around a bit and it’s back to the headlock.

 

A quick thumb to the eye and down goes the Canadian. Hart grabs a sleeper out of nowhere but gets reversed into a belly to back almost immediately. Flair gets a low blow in and of course Heenan defends it. Heenan and Flair are hilarious. Tony: “You know you’re an idiot.” Off to a chinlock by Naitch which doesn’t last long. Flair chokes away and is clearly the heel in this match.

 

Chops vs. punches is won by the puncher and I think you know who that is. Swinging neckbreaker by Bret gives us a little breather. Bret gets a bulldog for two. Well he used to be a cowboy so he has to have a bulldog every now and then I guess. Bret goes after the knee as is his custom. The figure four around the post doesn’t work as we hear about Jim Neidhart for no apparent reason.

 

Back in and Flair unleashes the knee crusher. You have to admit they know their formula if nothing else. Another knee crusher and Bret is in trouble. Bret gets an enziguri out of nowhere to put Flair down. Good back and forth stuff here. Bret tries another figure four but gets caught in a rollup for two. And there’s the chop block and Bret is right back down again.

 

There’s the REAL Figure Four (by the REAL World’s Champion for you old school fans out there) and Bret grabs the referee. The crowd doesn’t seem to care here which is kind of weird. Flair slaps Bret in the face because that’s always worked so well for him over the years.

 

Bret reverses which stays on for all of a second. Flair goes up and it’s apparent that Flair suffers from extreme memory loss as he continues to try thing after thing and it never works at all. There’s the Russian leg sweep by the Canadian to the Flairian (like he’s actually human) but Flair pops up and chops away in the corner.

 

Hart takes the straps down and is all like BRING IT ON! Bret hammers away in the corner and Flair is in trouble. Atomic drop out of the corner by Ric is in trouble. Here are the five moves of doom and amazingly enough, they actually work and Flair gives up to the Sharpshooter. I don’t remember those ever working but you have to have it work once I guess.

 

Rating: B+. Good stuff here but it felt like they never got it into that highest gear. Definitely the match of the night that actually meant something and a third great match tonight. Bret’s WCW run would pretty steadily go downhill from here though other than a few matches here and there, which is impressive since they managed to screw up BRET HART.

 

Randy Savage vs. Lex Luger

 

Yep, this is the main event. Why would you have a classic for the main event when you can have THIS? Well there are two arguments there. The first is that Luger and Savage were the “draws”. Considering you had Bret Hart and Ric Flair in the previous match, I find that really odd. The other answer is that Hogan gets involved in this match and he has to be in the last match of the night.

 

I have no idea why these two are fighting but it’s WCW so that is perfectly normal. Tony talks about how Flair erases the memory of Dusty Rhodes. Hey Tony, maybe you would forget about if faster IF YOU SHUT UP ABOUT IT! Savage walks around to start and Liz pops Luger in the back to let Savage take over to start. Savage controls early and gets a belly to back suplex for two. We talk about Dick the Bruiser for some reason and Savage gets a back elbow for two.

 

Liz chokes away with Savage’s bandana as she’s pretty awesome when she’s evil. All Savage so far. Luger tries to get going again but Liz grabs his foot and the problems continue. Savage gets a double axe to Luger who is on the floor. They head into the crowd and Luger finally gets something going.

 

Back to the ring now and Luger hammers away with clotheslines. Forearm (which somehow isn’t made of lead anymore) hits Savage and here comes Scott Hall with Hogan behind him. Hall has a chair but Hogan gets involved. Hall is knocked off the apron and in the distraction Luger gets the Rack for the submission. Somehow this was the main event. My mind is blown.

 

Rating: D. This was terrible and everyone knew it. This going on last was idiotic and shows another sign of how this company was in real trouble. All night long it was WCW vs. the NWO which was a feud that went on for a year and a half at this point and would eventually split into a 3 way feud as the Wolfpack debuted. Either way, bad main event that shouldn’t have been a main event.

 

The NWO comes out for the beatdown, Sting runs out for the save, Rack for Nash, Scorpion for Hogan, WCW IS AWESOME (despite the fans liking the NWO more), show over.

 

Overall Rating: B+. This was a very good show with two great matches and some other very good stuff sprinkled in. See, notice two things here also. 1. Hogan didn’t wrestle. 2. Clean finishes other than in the Zbyszko match. 3. Great PPV. Now notice what came later. 1. More Hogan/NWO. 2. More screwy finishes. 3. Worse PPVs.

 

This was a high buyrate for a PPV in this time frame and yet Hogan didn’t wrestle. DO YOU GET THE POINT WCW??? Of course they didn’t because it went right back to Hogan as he would be champion again in April. WCW could have been saved and it was all there in front of them but they never got it and they died. Still though, great stuff here but don’t watch the “main event.”

WWF House Show
Date: January 23, 1984
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City New York
Attendance: 26,292
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Pat Patterson

I don’t have the proper words to explain what this show means to wrestling. It’s the night that changed everything and gave birth to modern wrestling. Here, we have the new WWF World Champion the Iron Sheik defending against the breakout star of Rocky III, Hulk Hogan. Obviously everyone knows the ending to this (they should as the match has been included on at least eight WWF tapes/DVDs) and it’s one of the matches everyone should see at least once. Let’s get to it.

Jose Luis Rivera vs. Tony Garea

Feeling out process to start as I think this is face vs. face here. Garea works on the arm to start and they hit the mat for a bit. Both guys trade headscissors and head locks to control with Rivera finally controlling. Tony gets a quick cross body for two before hooking an armbar to slow things down again. Jose tries to fight out and even slams Tony but can’t break the armbar.

Rivera grabs a quick two off a rollup and they circle each other a bit more. Somehow we’re still feeling each other out after five minutes. There’s nothing going on so we look at a replay of the rollup. Rivera kind of messes up a backdrop then tries a dropkick as Garea tries a backdrop. Since things like dropkicks and backdrops are too complex, it’s back to the armbars. Out of nowhere, Rivera tries a spinning cross body out of the corner but Garea rolls through and gets a kind of fast count for the pin.

Rating: C-. Technically this was fine but that doesn’t make it a good match. Garea was one of those guys that was always around and was mainly a tag team guy but he would get a good reaction when he was out there. Rivera on the other hand was never all that interesting and was probably just there because he was Puerto Rican. Not much to see here.

Invaders vs. Mr. Fuji/Tiger Chung Lee

The Invaders are masked guy and one of them murdered Bruiser Brody. One of the Invaders is taller so we’ll call him #1. The official Invader #1 is the guy so it’s hard not to boo him. Lee and #2 start things off….but Gorilla is calling him #1. Oh wait he’s the taller one. Great now they’re making rapid fire tags (#2 barely gets over the ropes without tripping) and Chung’s arm gets beaten on over and over.

Monsoon says #2 is in there now so good enough. Anyway he stays on the arm and it’s off to Fuji for the first time. #2 blocks a chop and hits Fuji in the ribs before cranking on the arm a bit. #1 randomly jumps in and out of the ring to distract the referee. As he’s doing this, #2 doesn’t move an inch. A cross body gets two for #2 and it’s back to the arm. Fuji looks ticked off.

Back to #1 for some arm cranking on Lee who finally hits a slam…and is promptly kicked in the face. It’s back to the armbar by #2 and here’s #1 again. Lee shoves #1 into the corner for some choking from Fuji with a tag rope and it’s officially off to Mr. It’s quickly back to Lee to crank on #1’s arm and hit a backdrop for two. Fuji gets a suplex of his own for no cover. #1 comes back with a suplex of his own followed by slamming Fuji off the top, allowing for the hot tag to #2.

Lee comes in as well and things speed WAY up. Gorilla calls #2 by his real name (Johnny Rivera) just before Lee hits a Saito Suplex for two. Back to Fuji who suplexes #2 and chops him down before bringing Tiger back in. We hit the bearhug and Gorilla says to bite him in the ear or poke him in the eye to escape. Monsoon was EVIL at times. Back to the bearhug and #1 breaks the hold up, only to have Fuji switch sans tag.

Fuji hooks the ultra lame back claw as Gorilla talks about having a bunch of bananas thrown at him. Now he talks about which camera we’re looking through to fill in time. #2 crawls around to the corner (could it be because it was just a freaking hand on his side?) and makes the hot tag to #1 to face Lee…and they lock up. So much for the burst of speed. A spinning cross body out of the corner is caught in an atomic drop from Lee to get us to heat segment #3.

We hit the chinlock as this is clearly going to the time limit draw. Fuji comes in for some double choking (I miss stuff like that. It’s so basic but it works so easily) before another illegal switch. #1 misses a splash which gives Lee two but he allows the tag to #2. We get some leg work as the Invaders rapidly tag in and out again. They take turns cannonballing down onto the leg but Lee escapes a spinning toe hold. #2 blocks the tag though and we get a leg lock.

Fuji comes in and gets his own leg worked on for good measure. Off to an abdominal stretch (Gorilla complains like a broken record) on Fuji followed by one on a charging Lee. Fuji breaks it up so here’s #2 who is WAY too small to hook an abdominal stretch on Lee but he does it anyway. Everything breaks down and the Invaders hook a Rowboat (stupid double leglock) as the bell rings for the time limit.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but after about ten minutes it was clear what we were going to. It didn’t help that a lot of the match was spent going slowly so they could fill in time. This was a much more common occurrence back in the day as well as you would get a draw on almost every show.

Masked Superstar vs. Chief Jay Strongbow

Strongbow is a relic of the past and Masked Superstar would become more famous as Ax of Demolition. Gorilla calls this a main event in any arena in the country, other than this one I guess. They shove each other around to start and man alive does Strongbow look old. Patterson seems to have disappeared. Jay runs the Superstar over and puts on a headlock. Pat is back now and thinks Strongbow will try to take off the mask.

They get back up and Masked Superstar runs into the corner to hide. Back to the headlock as this match doesn’t seem interested in going anywhere. Strongbow goes for the mask and we head to the floor. Back in and Strongbow goes on the warpath and fires off some knees to Superstar’s head. He can’t get the mask off though and Masked comes back with shots in the corner. It’s warpath time again and Strongbow hits a bunch of chops and his sleeper but Superstar comes back with a single clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was boring but the crowd carried it by being so into Strongbow. Sometimes just a simple gimmick like being an Indian along with the longevity that Jay had (he was in his mid 50s here) were all that you needed. The match itself was pretty dull but Strongbow was trying at least. Shockingly not horrible here.

Ivan Putski vs. Sgt. Slaughter

We get the shot from the back as Sarge comes out. I miss that camera shot. I think Slaughter is a heel here but he seems rather popular anyway. Putski, who might be 5’8 in heels, starts firing off punches but Sarge bails to the corner. They circle each other a bit more with no contact yet. Putski is small but he is RIPPED (and pretty clearly full of steroids). They finally collide with Putski shoving him around and slamming the Sarge down to stall some more.

Ivan hooks a headlock as Patterson talks about Putski loving to drink and sing. Back to the headlock as this is going slowly again. Slaughter finally comes out with an atomic drop and works on the back for a bit. That doesn’t last long though as Slaughter gets rammed into the top turnbuckle and may have been busted open in the process. Slaughter gets sent shoulder first into the post as Patterson says to stay on top of him. Is that what he got to do after the Alley Fight?

Slaughter reverses a whip into the corner and comes back with the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) to take over but he can’t slam Putski. Ivan is billed at 225lbs and Slaughter can’t slam him? The Cannon misses and Putski comes back with the Polish Hammer (double ax to the chest) and a shoulder to send Slaughter to the floor. In a funny bit, Sarge’s chin gets caught on the bottom rope to keep him from hitting the concrete. They fight on the apron and Putski knocks Slaughter back inside, which lets Slaughter beat the count and win by countout.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as is the custom for 1984. Putski just wasn’t that good and he looked freaky to say the least. He was just too muscular for someone his size and it never quite worked. Slaughter would go to the AWA pretty soon after this and stay for years until coming back around 1990 to be the turncoat American.

Gorilla sends it to the back for an interview with Paul Orndorff, including a rare mistake as he messes up Orndorff’s name. After that bad mistake. Paul says that Salvatore Bellomo is nothing more than a spaghetti eater to him.

Paul Orndorff vs. Salvatore Bellomo

Paul has Roddy Piper with him and this is Orndorff’s MSG debut. This is also Piper’s return to MSG after being in the NWA for about five years. We stall to start a lot, allowing Patterson to get in another line that is only funny when he says it: “If Orndorff turned his back to me like that, I would be all over him.” Now Orndorff and Piper complain about Sal’s knee brace. The heels threaten to leave as Pat says he’d like to get in the ring with Orndorff to see if he liked him.

Now Paul complains about not having his own corner. He finally gets back in so Piper can disrobe him. Wait actually he just unties it and the disrobing takes place on the floor. The bell rang about four minutes ago so this is just stalling. Piper distracts Sal and the attack is on fast. The squashing begins and Piper is immediately talking trash. Orndorff stomps away and chokes on the rope before getting two off a backdrop. Piper to the referee: “COUNT FASTER!” Sal falls on Paul in a slam attempt for two. Piper: “NOT SO FAST!”

Orndorff misses a charge into the post and rams his shoulder, allowing Bellomo to make his required comeback. A dropkick hits Orndorff and Paul misses an elbow drop. Bellomo puts on a wristlock but Paul gets in a knee to the ribs to stop the momentum. Sal grabs the arm again immediately and cranks away, even surviving an armdrag attempt from Paul. Bellomo adds a headscissors as the match keeps going. Orndorff finally suplexes his way out of the hold and Sal heads to the floor.

Piper yells at Bellomo as only he can before Orndorff slams Sal on the floor. Back in and Paul hits a perfect suplex for two and Roddy can’t handle many more of these kickouts. Orndorff chokes away in the corner a bit, much to the anger of the “bite his ear or poke him in the eye” dude. Orndorff goes up but misses a top rope knee drop and gets beaten on for a bit. A powerslam stops Bellomo dead and a great piledriver ends this clean.

Rating: C-. It depends on how you look at this one. Bellomo stayed in there too long, but at the same time it made Orndorff look like a killer which is the right idea here. That piledriver looked GREAT and Orndorff was clearly going to be something special. Fourteen minutes is too long of a match though, especially for an MSG debut like this.

Bellomo takes forever to get out of the ring to make the beating look even better. Good stuff.

Intercontinental Title: Don Muraco vs. Tito Santana

Tito is challenging and Muraco has Albano with him. Feeling out process to start with Albano wondering around the ring for no apparent reason other than he’s Lou Albano. Tito finally takes over with a headlock before firing off some of those right hands that Jesse would say have guacamole on them. When the headlock stops working, Tito just rams Muraco’s head into the mat. Why over complicate things?

Back to the headlock as Tito cranks away. A big knee drop to Muraco’s head gets two and it’s back to the headlock. Don comes out of the hold with a backbreaker but is immediately slammed right back down into the headlock. This is getting rather repetitive as we’re over eleven minutes into this match and about nine of them have been spent in a headlock. They changes things up slightly by having Tito on his feet where Muraco can break the hold with a kind of Russian legsweep.

Muraco rams Santana’s head into the buckle to take over and adds in a powerslam for two. I’m pretty sure Muraco’s finisher at this point was a tombstone but I’m not sure. The fans cheer for Tito and he starts to Hulk Up a bit. Santana punches Muraco down and stomps away before having to take Albano out. The forearm misses Don though and both guys are down. Muraco goes up top and they slug it out….for a double DQ? Dang this is an old school match. Even Gorilla sounds confused by that.

Rating: D. I LOVE Tito Santana, but man alive this was boring. It’s a sixteen minute match and nearly thirteen minutes of that are spent in a headlock. That isn’t an exaggeration either. I checked to see if I had forgotten something but there’s nothing else there. Tito would win the title from Muraco about three weeks later in Boston.

Tito swears he can beat Muraco and claims he got ripped off. Albano had no business being in the ring.

Haiti Kid/Tiger Jackson vs. Dana Carpenter/Pancho Boy

Midget match with 2/3 falls here. Kid and Tiger are incredibly small and probably half a foot shorter each than the villains. Tiger Jackson would go on to become Doink’s partner Dink. Carpenter is almost as tall as the referee. Pancho gets pantsed by Tiger and we’re ready to go. Carpenter and Jackson start things off but Dana immediately brings in Pancho. Tiger hooks a headlock so Boy tries to grab his hair, forgetting that Steve Austin has more hair on his head than Jackson does.

Pancho slaps Jackson in the head a bit before getting elbowed in the ribs. Jackson takes him down with a flying headscissors and holds him on the mat for a bit. I think Pancho might have portrayed Queasy of Jerry Lawler’s team at the 94 Survivor Series but that’s just a guess. Pancho fights up and literally spins Jackson around on the top of his bald head.

Haiti comes in with some dropkicks to clean house. Carpenter comes in and gets beaten up too as this is your usual midget match. Haiti dropkicks Dana to the floor before putting him in a full nelson. We get some heel miscommunication resulting in Pancho hitting Carpenter by mistake. Back to Pancho vs. Tiger as this keeps going. They keep going until Jackson hits a middle rope sunset flip for the first fall.

The third fall begins with Haiti vs. Pancho, because if there’s one thing better than a midget match, it’s a two out of three falls midget match! Haiti Kid is black, so therefore his head is immune to being rammed into buckles. Kid can’t suplex Carpenter and the referee gets dogpiled. We get a crisscross and Kid hooks an airplane spin on Carpenter. We get a weird ending as Haiti covers Carpenter and the referee is REALLY hesitant to count the pin, as in that wasn’t the correct finish.

Rating: D. I hate these things. They’re not interesting because there are no stories to them and the matches are always based around unfunny comedy. I guess the live crowd likes them or something, because I don’t care about these things at all. Nothing to see here other than the same shenanigans you see everywhere.

Freddie Blassie is annoyed that Hogan has been swapped in for Bob Backlund and says the cheating isn’t going to work. Sheik speaks I’m assuming Arabic and rants about Hogan before switching to English and getting cut off. Why? Because this is pre-taped and Sheik and Blassie are in the ring.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Iron Sheik

This is it. This is the match that changes EVERYTHING. Sheik beat Backlund like a month earlier and Backlund is too injured to get his rematch here, so Hulk gets the shot instead. The place goes NUTS for Hogan’s entrance for the first of many occasions. This is Hogan’s return to the Garden after about three years. After being bored all night, the place is going nuts just from hearing “From Venice Beach, California.”

The bell rings and Hogan CHARGES at him in the corner before Sheik can even get his robe off. A clothesline with the robe takes down the champion and it’s all Hulk so far. Another big clothesline puts Sheik down before Hulk easily picks him up for a choke. Hulk, ever the hero, spits on Sheik to a huge ovation. Big boot gets two so Hulk hits a pair of elbows for two. Hulk FINALLY screws up by missing a running elbow in the corner and Sheik takes over.

The champion stomps away with those curled boots of his. I guess it’s a Middle East thing. A backbreaker puts Hogan down but he easily powers out at one. Off to a Boston Crab but Hulk powers out after about ten seconds. Sheik can’t get anything going here long term. A gutwrench suplex gets two for Sheik and (with an infamous erection for some reason) puts on the camel clutch that won the title. Hulk casually wags his fingers no and he powers out of the hold in less than thirty seconds. Hogan picks Sheik up, rams him into the buckle, drops the big leg, and as Gorilla puts it, Hulkamania is here.

Rating: A+. This was exactly what it was supposed to be as Hogan squashed Sheik here, basically selling nothing and escaping Sheik’s best move before beating him in less than six minutes. Look at this card: even the opener was a minute longer than this match. Hogan DOMINATED the champion here and left no doubt about who was better. After this, everything became about flash than substance, and for people who complain about it, let it go already. The change is over and it’s never going back. Absolutely perfect here.

Sheik refuses to go out on a stretcher and charges at Hogan again, only to get beaten down one more time.

Hogan celebrates in the back and Andre pops up to pour champagne over him. This would be used in the Mania III hype package. It’s still the big green belt too which was ugly as sin. Rocky Johnson and Ivan Putski come in to celebrate too.

We’ve still got two matches to go. I never got why that was the case.

Rene Goulet vs. Jimmy Snuka

Goulet jumps Snuka to start and does some what appears to be biting. A back elbow puts Snuka down and a slam gets two. The very popular Snuka comes back with a hip toss and Goulet hides in the corner. Rene puts on a front facelock but Snuka elbows him down and wins with a top rope cross body.

Rating: D+. Snuka is always fun to watch and this was just a quick match to fill in time before the end of the show. No one bought Snuka as being in trouble at all and there was no reason to. He was INSANELY over at this point, probably the second biggest star in the company other than maybe Andre.

Hogan’s parents celebrate with him in the back.

Andre the Giant/Rocky Johnson/Tony Atlas vs. Wild Samoans

It’s Afa/Sika/Samula here who would become Samu in the 90s. Johnson and Atlas are tag champions, having beaten the Samoans about two months prior. I think that’s Samula and Atlas to start things off as we’re just waiting on Andre to come in and destroy people. Rocky comes in instead and we get a crisscross. Rocky stops and allows Samula to keep running in a funny bit.

Johnson ducks an attack in the corner and causes some heel miscommunication before it’s back to Tony. Atlas EASILY breaks a full nelson and sends Samula into a shot from Andre. Here’s the big guy (I mean the biggest of the big guys) but Samula blocks a backdrop with a headbutt. Two Samoans headbutt him down and it’s Sika the legal man. The headbutts are no sold now and Andre is starting to have fun. Andre drops Sika with a headbutt and sits on his chest for a pin.

Rating: D+. This was as simple as it sounds. I don’t think Afa ever got in there as this didn’t even last five minutes. Andre and the Soul Patrol were popular guys and it was a fun way to send the crowd home happy. Good stuff here and a good way to end the show which wasn’t exactly hot so far.

Patterson and Monsoon wrap things up.

Overall Rating: D+. This was a hard one to sit through. 1983 wasn’t the best time for the company as far as in ring stuff went and you could see a lot of the less interesting stuff going on here still. Hogan winning the title here of course changes everything though and is the only reason to watch it. You can literally find it on at least 8 tapes or DVDs and it’s all over Youtube. Not a good show, but to say it’s historic is a huge understatement.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WCW Saturday Night
Date: January 22, 1994
Location: Center State Theater, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

Time for another of these. I found the next episode after January so we can keep going with this for a little while longer. Anyway, this is the go home show before the Clash so expect a lot of push for that. I think this is another 90 minute episode so this will be about as long as the previous one was. Let’s get to it.

There’s a six man main event with a heel mystery partner.

Nasty Boys vs. Ron Oates/Mark Starr

The Nasties are the tag champions and we get a quick word from Jack and Payne, their challengers on Thursday. Sags and Starr start things off and it’s domination early. Off to Knobbs who walks into a dropkick and armdrag as the jobbers clear the ring for a bit. Off to Oates who is a big guy. Not that it matters much as the good guys tag in and out a lot to work on the arm of Knobbs.

Knobbs runs him over to bring in Sags but he gets taken down as well. Finally some double teaming takes over for the Nasties and things slow WAY down. Everything breaks down and they be clubberin on Starr. Off to a chinlock by Sags but Starr gets up for a hot tag to Oates. And never mind as Knobbs kills him with a double ax. Brian splashes him in the corner and a top rope elbow from Sags gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was way better than I was expecting. It’s a nice change of pace to have the jobbers get in some offense other than a few shots here and there. Not the best match in the world or anything, but I didn’t expect it to get almost seven minutes which made things a lot better here.

Colonel Parker says he’s got a mystery man that’s going to take care of Sting and Flair and Boss.

One of the commercials is for this new move Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

Here’s Flair who talks about giving his son the world title to take into his first grade class for show and tell. It’s more serious than it sounds.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Ricky Tango

That’s a great jobber name. This is your usual squash: Tango is all fired up but Dustin survives the offense and hits the big lariat to set up the bulldog for the pin.

Dustin says he’s ready for Steven Regal and the TV Title on Thursday. Regal has been badmouthing America and Dusty and that isn’t cool.

We go to the control center for the Clash to talk about the majority of the card. We see some clips of the Nasties beating up Jack/Payne on World Wide. Gene talks about the chicken suit match and we also get a clip of Simmons getting in a fight with Ice Train.

Shanghai and Slazenger talk about their match next week with Badd. If Shanghai loses, he takes the mask off.

Ron Simmons vs. TC Carter

Carter wants a test of strength so Simmons kicks him in the ribs for his efforts. Carter hits a dropkick and Simmons isn’t happy. Simmons clotheslines him down and demands a handshake. When Carter tries, Ron kicks him down. That’s awesome. Carter tries another comeback but Ron KILLS him with a shoulder and the spinebuster for the pin.

Ice Train comes out to offer another handshake but Simmons has nothing to do with it and walks off.

Parker runs his mouth about Pillman and Austin shows off his new managers’ license so he can be at Parker’s match on Thursday. Ron Simmons is announced as the mystery partner.

Jim Steele vs. Bob Starr

Oh it’s Jungle Jim Steele. Steele looks like a cross between Ultimate Warrior, Jimmy Snuka, and Tarzan. He was one of WCW’s 948 attempts to recreate Ultimate Warrior, but didn’t have the talent or charisma. A Thesz Press ends this quick.

Gene is in the crowd with some girls but he can’t talk about his news regarding Arn Anderson. But they can call the hotline to find out.

Vader vs. Al Phillips

I don’t like the jobber’s chances. What are you expecting here? Big powerbomb ends this in about a minute.

Vader wants Flair on Thursday. He gets him in a tag match and threatens to kill him. Rude comes in and says bring it on Sting.

2 Cold Scorpio/Marcus Bagwell vs. Tom Burton/Bill Payne

Burton and Scorpio start things off and they mess up a cross body spot that sends Scorpio crashing into the mat. He’s playing possum though and cleans house with Bagwell. Powerslam gets two for Marcus. Scorpio comes in for a corner splash and then we get a double superplex to Burton to kill him for the pin. Now that was a cool ending to a squash.

Pillman says Parker is going to wear the chicken suit. Parker broke up the Blondes and on Thursday, dinner will be served. He’s got a piece of chicken in his hand as he says this.

Rick Rude/Steve Austin/Ron Simmons vs. Sting/The Boss/Ric Flair

That’s a big main event. For some reason they come out to Boss’ music which is really slow and doesn’t do much to get the crowd going. Ice Train is here to yell at Simmons and Rude. It’s a brawl to start and the good guys clear the ring as you would expect. Train stays out there because Parker can. So what’s the point of the manager’s license thing then? Rude and Boss start things off.

Off to Sting as Boss hammers on Rude. We get a pair of atomic drops to Rude which is always funny. Off to Austin in a match that could have drawn millions in 98. Austin gets caught in an electric chair and his team hasn’t been having a ton of luck. Off to Naitch in what was supposed to be Starrcade 1994. Austin backdrops him but gets caught in a Figure Four attempt.

Boss comes in to work on the knee but gets caught by Rude. Rude tries a sleeper but gets caught in a jawbreaker. Simmons pulls the top rope down and Boss is sent to the outside. Simmons comes in to throw Boss around and the fans want Sting. Sting vs. Simmons could have been a huge feud. Austin breaks up the tag and Boss is in trouble. Back to Rude as they work on Boss’ back.

Here’s a bearhug but Boss shoves his way to the corner for a tag to Sting, but the referee misses it. Now Simmons switches places with Rude to hook on a bearhug. Simmons goes to the middle rope but jumps into a punch. There’s the tag to Sting who destroys Simmons with a powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Sting pins Simmons on a rollup.

Rating: C+. When all else fails, throw six big names into one match and give them ten minutes. It works on Smackdown (kind of) with all those tag matches. This was pretty fun and it’s cool to see Sting vs. Simmons as they were the top faces in the company about a year prior to this. Not a classic or anything but for a TV main event this was fine.

Overall Rating: C+. For a go home show, this was pretty solid. The opening match was longer than expected so we got some ring time on this show which is rare for most TV. The Clash wasn’t that good if my memory is right but we’ll start up towards SuperBrawl after this one. After that, it’s almost Hogan time. Good show this week.

Here’s the Clash if you’re interested:

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Clash of the Champions 18
Date: January 21, 1992
Location: Kansas Expo Center, Topeka, Kansas
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Time for another Clash, but this time it’s from a better era. This is during the Dangerous Alliance period, where the top heels in the company banded together to fight Sting and whoever he could get to back him up. However, he needed to win the world title first nad we need to set up that match tonight. Also we get Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer in a falls count anywhere match which I remember fairly well. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about Heyman wanting to take over the company with the Dangerous Alliance.

As usual Eric and Missy are more or less the hosts.

Vader/Mr. Hughes vs. Steiner Brothers

Scott vs. Hughes gets us going. The Steiners are insanely popular. Scott throws Hughes around for a few minutes and that’s exactly what I wanted to see. That’s what the Steiners were awesome at: throwing big guys around like it was no big deal. Hughes powers him to the corner and everything breaks down. The Steiners get sent to the floor so they wait for the monsters to pose and both go to the top at the same time. A double Steiner Line off the same corner gives the Steiners the momentum again.

Vader vs. Rick now and Vader goes old school monster on him. There’s a gorilla press and a splash in the corner but Rick keeps getting up because that’s what he does. Steiner Line takes Vader down and there’s an overhead belly to belly (great one too). Rick knocks him to the floor and dives off the apron, but gets caught and rammed into the post. Back in and Rick throws Vader off the top with a belly to belly superplex.

Off to Scott and the Steiners are all fired up here. Scott gets the best German suplex you’ll ever see to a guy the size of Vader. He goes up but his cross body is countered into a powerslam and a splash keeps Scott down. Tag to Hughes and it’s off to Rick soon thereafter. HUGE backdrop and Hughes is in trouble. Everything breaks down again and Vader accidentally hits Hughes. Vader and Scott go to the floor and the Steiner Bulldog ends Hughes.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I’m a sucker for the Steiners throwing everyone all over the place like it’s nothing. They were so far and away better than all of the other teams at this point and it was very clear. Anderson and Eaton were champions at this point and the Steiners would get the titles back in just a few months.

Terry Taylor/Tracy Smothers vs. Brian Pillman/Marcus Bagwell

Tracy is still part of the Young Pistols and Taylor is the Taylor Made Man. According to Ross, a standard backhand chop is a judo chop. Didn’t know that. Pillman cleans house on his own and speeds things up but walks into a backbreaker for two. Off to Bagwell and the good guys clear the ring with a double dropkick. There are some double dives to the outside and Taylor/Smothers are in trouble.

We get back to normal with Bagwell vs. Smothers and Tracy hits what was either a dropkick or a superkick to take over. We hear about Bagwell hanging out with Sting a lot lately as Tracy beats him up. He avoids a shot though and here’s Pillman again. A spinwheel kick gets two for Pillman. The heels double team to slow Brian down and Taylor suplexes him to the floor.

Pillman gets rammed into the post which gets two back in the ring for Tracy. Gutwrench powerbomb gets the same for Taylor. Back to Smothers and a jumping back elbow sends Pillman out to the barricade again. He comes back in with a springboard clothesline and it’s hot tag to Bagwell. Everything breaks down and Bagwell gets a surprise sunset flip on Smothers for the three count.

Rating: C+. Fun tag match here with Pillman flying all over the place and just being awesome. Smothers and Taylor are two guys that I’m not wild on but they did their thing here and it worked well enough. Bagwell was still a glorified rookie at this point but he never really developed past anything slightly above average, which is pretty telling.

Video on Jushin Thunder Liger. He and Pillman will tear the house down at SuperBrawl II for the Light Heavyweight Title which Liger recently won from Pillman.

Richard Morton vs. Johnny B. Badd

Badd is pretty new at this point and is still the gay character that we don’t acknowledge as being gay. He takes off the rainbow colored robe to put on a pink and blue boa. Badd has to fire the Badd Blaster (confetti gun) before we can get going. He tries to punch Morton so Morton wisely hides in the ropes. Double axe off the middle rope gives Badd control. A bad looking atomic drop by Morton lets him send Badd to the floor. Badd gets a sunset flip for two. This isn’t meshing at all. Powerslam gets two for Johnny. They slug it out and Morton tries a cross body which Badd rolls through for the pin.

Rating: F. Just awful here and the ending looked horrible with Morton barely running when he hit the cross body. It took Badd a few years but he would get way better. The Light Heavyweight division never worked like it was supposed to because they had no idea that there was a difference between being small and knowing how to wrestle small.

Badd and Pillman are with Bischoff and Badd puts a lips sticker on Eric’s cheek. They both want to fight Liger. Pillman gives a bizarre speech about Japanese automakers and how he’s defending the honor of Americans and bringing the title back to America. And then Badd puts lips on Brian’s cheek, earning him a right hand. I have no idea if that was a heel promo or not.

PN News vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Page is a manager recently turned wrestler and more or less is a jobber here. News is a very fat white rapper. He raps a bit before the match. This makes JR’s from two nights ago look bearable. Page (in a singlet) jumps him to start and they try running the ropes for a few seconds, but News can’t do it due to high levels of fat. News tries a dropkick to send Page to the floor as the announcers shill the WCW Hotline. All News until he misses an elbow. Page hammers away and gets two off a Russian legsweep. For some reason he tries a slam and guess how well that goes. News hits a belly to belly and a top rope splash for the pin.

Rating: D-. Barely better than the previous match but Page was trying. The problem was that he wasn’t very good yet. News….you’re fat and you need to go away. The match was nothing to see and was there to get News on TV, because WCW was stupid enough to think that was a good idea.

Here’s the WCW Top Ten.

10. Larry Zbyszko
9. El Gigante
8. Big Van Vader
7. Dustin Rhodes
6. Cactus Jack
5. Rick Steiner
4. Ricky Steamboat
3. Steve Austin
2. Sting
1. Rick Rude

Kip Allen Frey is introduced as the new boss of WCW. Why WCW insisted on having actual executives on TV as the boss characters is beyond me. They FINALLY woke up in like 1995 and had a character played by a wrestler (I mean Bockwinkel, not Watts, who actually was the boss). Frey was actually really good at what he did though, and SuperBrawl II would be proof of that. He had a very interesting policy: whoever had the best match at a televised show received (I believe) a $5000 cash bonus. Think that might get people motivated? He announces Sting vs. Luger for the title at SuperBrawl II.

The other thing Frey does is bring out the newest WCW color commentator: Jesse Ventura. This was a legit big deal and was probably the first high profile guy they took from Vince in a very long time. Jesse puts over WCW as the future and says he’ll be debuting soon, which also was at SuperBrawl.

Tony brings out Sting who high fives Jesse on the way to the ring. Luger (recorded) says he’s been gone to get ready for the match. In reality, he only had one contracted appearance left so he just sat out for two months. His match with Sting was HORRIBLE, and in one of the rare instances in history, it can be completely blamed on one guy instead of two as Luger didn’t care at all and gave maybe a 4% effort. Sting signs and the match is on.

For those of you wondering about Frey, he would be fired after the PPV because of an unspecified reason. The common answer is he was actually good at his job and that was simply unacceptable in WCW.

Cactus Jack vs. Van Hammer

Hammer was a guy that made David Otunga look like Lou Thesz in the ring, but man was he popular. After Sting and Hogan, he was probably my favorite when I was a kid. Jack is a crazy man and this is falls count anywhere. Hammer has a guitar with him and fires something out of the end of it into Jack’s eyes. A slingshot cross body gets two about a second after the bell.

A big leg gets one (he would usually use a big boot beforehand. Hammer was tall and blonde. You figure it out) and Jack takes over. Cactus Clothesline puts them on the floor where Cactus gets two. Jack peels back the mats on the floor and jumps off the second rope with a sunset flip, hurting himself more than Hammer. They’re on the ramp now and we get a wrestling hold in the form of a sleeper by Jack.

Powerslam on the ramp gets two for Hammer. This is a very hard hitting match. Jack keeps clotheslining him down while Hammer tries to wrestle. Hammer throws Jack off the ramp where he lands with a thud. A clothesline to the floor gets two. They brawl to the back as the fans boo (no big screens yet) and we take a break. The stuff after the break was taped earlier, because it’s 1992 and that’s how they rolled back then.

They’re out in the parking lot and Jack hits him with a 2×4. A traffic cone to the head and they fight over to the bulls that are in place for an upcoming rodeo. Missy Hyatt is there to get on my nerves. Hammer chokes him with a rope so they climb into the pen with the bulls. Abdullah the Butcher pops up dressed as a cowboy and whacks Hammer with a shovel by mistake so Jack can get the pin.

Rating: B-. Before the break, this was a SICK brawl. Post break, it goes downhill quickly. Butcher as a cowboy is a very strange vision and not one that I need to see every day. Hammer would never really mean much after this which is probably the best thing that could have happened to everyone involved. It has nothing on Sting vs. Jack but it’s still good.

Butcher and Jack fight a bit with Butcher throwing Missy into a water trough.

Freebirds vs. Brad Armstrong/Big Josh

The Birds are now faces and no one cared. I mean no one AT ALL cared. They’re still singers and have a song nowhere near as good as Badstreet USA. They dance through the crowd and I want this to end already. Big Josh is a lumberjack that liked to dance with bears. Armstrong used to be a Freebird lackey in a mask (never acknowledged as the same guy). Hayes and Armstrong start us off.

The Birds, despite being a long running tag team, really doesn’t work together all that well. Granted that might be due to Garvin not being all that good. Off to Josh who has far better luck. He stomps on Hayes’ ribs and I think this is face vs. face but I’m really not sure. Back to Garvin and Josh punches him for awhile too. They ram heads which has no effect on Garvin at all. Back to Armstrong who hits a bunch of dropkicks. Everything breaks down and the Birds cheat to hit a double DDT on Armstrong for the pin.

Rating: F. This was one of the worst tag matches I’ve ever seen. The song didn’t help either with the title being “I’m a Freebird, What’s Your Excuse?” This was horrible and thankfully the Birds weren’t around much longer after this. It didn’t work at all and was one of the worst matches I can remember in a long time.

Video on the Steiners and how awesome they are. We get some clips of them winning huge matches and hear about Scott’s arm tearing apart and putting him on the shelf for a long time.

The Steiners say they’ll get the titles back because they never lost them fairly.

Vinnie Vegas vs. Tommy Rich

Vegas is more famous by his real name: Kevin Nash. Vegas is in suspenders, a white collared shirt and dress pants. Snake Eyes end this in less than a minute.

Dangerously says that someone is getting taken out tonight. He lists off what might happen to each of them and it’s classic Heyman. You can see in his eyes how fired up he is here. He gets in the great line of someone is going to the Magnum TA Wrestling Retirement Home.

Arn Anderson/Bobby Eaton/Larry Zbyszko vs. Barry Windham/Dustin Rhodes/Ron Simmons

Windham still has a bad hand due to Zbyszko. Eaton vs. Windham starts us off and Barry is all fired up. It works against him though and he gets caught in a superplex which he no sells. Big lariat puts Bobby down and Windham hits his own lariat (his finisher) for two. Everything breaks down and the Alliance is all put in Figure Fours. Off to Larry vs. Ron with Larry trying to use power on him for some reason. Arn and Larry combined can’t overpower him.

Ron is beating them up all on his own. For some reason Barry and Dustin just let him fight on his own and to be fair, it’s working pretty well. Off to Dustin and they work on Larry’s arm. Bobby comes in and Dustin is all fired up, throwing him over the top (behind the referee’s back) and hitting a huge diving clothesline to the ramp. Off to Larry vs. Barry and Barry misses a lariat. That’s the big feud to this match as Zbyszko and Anderson broke Barry’s hand at Halloween Havoc.

Off to Dustin and he misses a cross body, sending him flying and therefore crashing onto the ramp. Dustin takes a cell phone shot to the ribs and the Alliance is in control. Back in the Anderson Spinebuster gets two. Dustin gets in some punches but walks into a DDT. Arn’s cover is delayed though so it’s only two. Off to Eaton who hits a top rope elbow instead of the Alabama Jam for two.

Eaton misses a corner charge but Anderson saves the tag. Then we get to the big problem Arn has in his matches. Dustin is on the mat and Arn goes to the middle rope. He jumps off with a double axe handle and Dustin hits a boot to the jaw. What in the world was Arn going for, since he was jumping at the feet of Dustin the whole time? Either way it’s off to Barry vs. Larry Z and everything breaks down. Eaton comes off the top and jumps into the cast on Barry’s hand and that’s good for the pin.

Rating: B. Very fun tag match here and it shows the reason the Dangerous Alliance worked: everyone on the team was REALLY good and considering they only feuded with talented guys, the matches were almost a guaranteed awesome showcase. JR called the Alliance an All-Star team in this match and that’s about as good of a description as you can give them.

Tony is with the winning team in the back and Barry says he doesn’t care who says what because he’s coming for revenge. Awesome stuff again as Windham is all fired up.

Sting/Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude/Steve Austin

Austin is TV Champion and Rude is US Champion. My goodness Sting is ridiculously popular. Remember that Top Ten thing earlier? Check out #1-#4. Steamboat vs. Austin starts us off and Austin still has hair here. Jesse has joined commentary to replace Tony here. Ricky takes over to start and Steve has no idea what to do with him. Steamboat gets a bunch of two counts on Steve and fires off a superkick to knock him down. Rude takes a kick as well and the ring is cleared.

Rude comes in and he wants Sting. He slaps some of the paint off him and here’s the Stinger to the biggest pop of the night. Rude, ever the heel, hides in the corner immediately. Sting hits a pair of atomic drops and we get the best selling ever of that move. Sting rakes the back and we get some classic Jesse/face commentator banter of how can Sting do that and claim to be a hero.

Sting hooks a modified camel clutch for some reason. Rude’s ribs are his strong point so why put a hold on them? Now it’s Steamboat and they do the non-tag thing. The fans swear they did though and that’s good enough. They do it again as Austin tries to come in. JR, speaking of Sting: “Well he’s the legal man! That’s what you want right?” Sting tries to cannonball down onto Rude’s ribs but does the Anderson spot and lands balls first on the knees.

Austin vs. Sting in what would have drawn at least seven figure buys in 1998. Rude hooks a front facelock and keeps Sting from tagging. Back to Austin who punches the mat in an attempt to block a sunset flip and there’s the hot tag to Steamboat. Rude takes his head off as Sting was trying to come in and the Alliance controls some more. Austin avoids a rollup and everything breaks down. Sting and Austin fight up the ramp and then they come back. That was kind of pointless but whatever. Austin picks up Steamboat but Sting dives off the top with a crossbody and both pin Austin at the same time.

Rating: B. Remember the previous reason as why the six man was good? Same reason here but with four guys and better talent involved. The Alliance angle had YEARS worth of material in it but instead they lasted about six months because this is WCW. The Alliance was one of the greatest gatherings of talent ever, but it never became a memorable team because of WCW’s incompetence in promoting stars.

By the way, everything in that last sentence starting with the word one was from Arn Anderson, not me. So it’s not just my opinion but from someone on the team itself.

Rude and Austin annihilate Steamboat post match, whipping him with a belt as Sting tries to protect him.

Overall Rating: B+. This was a free TV show and we got pretty much 80% good stuff. When’s the last time you remember 80% of Raw or Impact being good to very good? The first half of 1992 was pure gold for WCW and once Luger’s laziness left and Sting got the title, it was all gravy for a long time. Then Vader came in and Sting had his best matches ever with him, so it got even better. Good show, but I still like 17 better I think.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Mid-South Championship Wrestling
Date: January 20, 1984
Location: Irish McNeil Boys Club, Shreveport, Louisiana
Commentators: Boyd Pierce, Bill Watts

No Mercy is downloading so it’s back to Louisiana. I really liked this one last time so hopefully it’ll still be good again here. Last time we saw Duggan and JYD feuding with the Russians while Magnum TA got tarred and feathered. The Midnight Express is running around and being all Midnight Express kinds of evil which is always fun. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence opens us up in a sequential way.

Jim Cornetee is with Watts. Watts says that there have been a lot of managers but Cornette is the first mama’s boy. Cornette asks why he should have to work for anything when he can call his mama (on Planet Funk?) and have her buy it for him. We get a clip of Mr. Wrestling II and Magnum saying they’re awesome. Cornette interrupted them and wanted to know when the Midnight Express would get a title shot. The champs call Cornette a chicken and he leaves.

Back to the live video and Cornette says I told you so, and we get a clip of the tarring and feathering by the Express last week and the champs’ promo after it. Mr. Wrestling II promises some plucking. You know for an hour long show, spending the first ten minutes plus on a recap is probably not the best use of TV time. Cornette: “Why don’t you pluck your partner?” Jim promises more violence if the Express doesn’t get the title match. Mid-South has fined Cornette $5000 but Cornette says that’s just a phone call home to mother.

Krusher Darsow vs. Terry Taylor

This is supposed to be Volkoff but he’s injured. Darsow jumps him to start but Taylor comes back with elbows. He slams Darsow and hooks an abdominal stretch and Volkoff runs in for the quick DQ.

Taylor dropkicks Darsow to the floor but Volkoff puts a rope around Taylor’s throat. He tries to hang Taylor over his back but Taylor flips out of it. Darsow comes back in and they hang him over the top rope. Some wrestlers make the save.

Roger Bond/Mike Jackson vs. Midnight Express

The tag champions are on commentary. Cornette has a bag of feathers which he’s blowing in the direction of Magnum. Cornette runs his mouth a lot to start. Condrey and Jackson start things off. Jackson hits a cross body for two and a dropkick puts Condrey down. It’s off to Eaton who has some better luck. Back to Condrey who beats on Bond for awhile. Eaton slams Bond down and hits a middle rope knee. The Express tags in and out very fast. Wrestling II is giving Eaton pointers which is cool to hear. Condrey hits a powerslam off the middle rope which sets up their double team elbow/drop for the pin. Squash.

The Express destroys both guys post match and set to tar and feather Bond but Magnum runs in for the save. Apparently that costs them $2500.

Buddy Landell vs. Mike Starbuck

Landell is basically famous for looking exactly like Ric Flair and copying everything he did. Landell controls with ease and puts a full nelson on him as Mike’s face is on the mat. A backbreaker and elbow drop gets the pin.

Brian Adidas vs. Mickey Henry

There’s going to be a TV Title tournament coming up. Adidas control to start as we hear about a new team coming called the Rock N Roll Express. Henry grabs a headlock and hits Brian in the ribs. Adidas comes back with a dropkick and botches a leap frog, a victory roll and most of a small package but the last one gets the pin. That was a horrible ending sequence.

Masao Ito vs. Rick Rood

Rood offers a handshake but is turned down. He towers over Ito here. Ito stomps him down and chops a lot. He hooks a choke of some kind which gets Rood a DQ win.

Rood is bleeding from the mouth as Ito won’t let it go.

Here’s a video on the Rock N Roll Express set to I Love Rock And Roll by Joan Jett. It’s a music video which is more 80s than Hulk Hogan, Mr. T and the Karate Kid going Back to the Future to bust ghosts to hair metal.

Watts and Boyd wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I still really like this show. They’re efficient with their stories and you get a nice mix of squashes to keep the show moving. Cornette is at his best here with being a mama’s boy that you want to punch in the face. Fun show and this is something I’d definitely watch if it aired today.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

On the right hand side of the screen where the other pages of reviews are listed, you’ll now find an On This Day page listed where you can find a link to every show in the series posted.  I’ll keep it updated daily

 

KB

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 19, 1998
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 7,329
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Jerry Lawler

We’re officially on the Road to Wrestlemania now as this is the night after the Rumble. Austin won of course and will face HBK, the winner of the casket match. Unfortunately the winner of the casket match shattered his back and can barely move let alone wrestle. Things would have to be booked properly to make sure this worked right, which was impressive in its own right.

That’s not the most important thing tonight though, as we have one of the most famous moments in wrestling history tonight as Mike Tyson is here. This would, for all intents and purposes, launch Austin vs. McMahon. Just saying that name brings a little smile to my face. They had had some run-ins before this but nothing that would compare to this one. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane vs. Taker. Going into the Rumble there was a belief that Kane might help his brother in the casket match. Kane did appear during the match but turned on his brother (yeah I’m stunned too) and threw him in the casket, locked it, and LIT IT ON FIRE. Footage would later reveal the casket was empty after it was clear Kane had thrown him in there. I’m not sure if that had aired yet though.

Theme song is still awesome. Austin signs all over the place.

Paul Bearer opens the show properly as he comes out to Taker’s old music. Mad heat on Bearer. He says he got us didn’t he. Bearer talks about how awesome he is for a good while and about how it was all a plan with him and Kane and how Kane never really left him. This is some pretty solid gloating indeed. How exactly does Bearer get his face to curve like that?

He says that Taker is gone and never to return. Naturally this brings about a gong and a big pop from the crowd. Druids bring out a casket and of course Kane is in it. JR calls him dastardly so you can tell he’s serious. Paul Bearer says he’s Paul Bearer and you’re not. Thanks for clearing that up fat boy.

Ad for the encore of the Rumble, complete with every single highlight of it.

We talk to DX in the back where HHH says that Owen might want to head south too because he can’t cut it here. Shawn talks about being guilt ridden over the whole incident with Taker last night. He’s going to bring Taker back tonight though.

Disciples of Apocalypse vs. Nation of Domination

The Nation is Farooq, Kama and D’Lo here against the regular three Disciples. One of the twins that we’ll call Skull starts with D’Lo. Never mind as that’s 8-Ball. Brown got a nice run in the Rumble and they were trying to push him as a decent midcard guy around this time which never really got off the ground even with the European Title.

Skull wasn’t in the Rumble as some people jumped him, thinking he was Austin. That was actually kind of creative. Chainz (Brian Lee to you SMW and ECW fans) takes over for a bit before Kama takes him down. Off to Farrooq now who would soon be thrown out of the Nation. By soon I mean a few weeks/months but close enough. The fans are all over D’Lo here so maybe that’s what they saw in him.

He takes down one of the twins with an elbow to give the Nation control again. Why did the Harris Brothers keep getting jobs? They weren’t interesting at all but they managed to keep getting signed. We sing Farrooq’s praises for a bit until Brown misses a moonsault so that Skull (I guess) can make the tag to Chainz. Everything breaks down and it’s a DQ. Rock and Henry run down and it’s a big beatdown. Shamrock comes out to get a piece of Rock and Ahmed Johnson comes out because he existed to fight the nation.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but it was to set up the post match shenanigans. I’m assuming this would set up a big ten man tag somewhere but I don’t remember it off the top of my head. This wasn’t too bad and I’ve long since been a fan of tag matches to start shows so this was fine.

Vic Venom gives us an ad for Raw Magazine. He would eventually go to WCW and become an onscreen character by his real name: Vince Russo. And so it begins.

Tom Brandi vs. Marc Mero

PLEASE let this be their last fight as no one cared about this feud at all. I didn’t realize Chimmel did announcing this early. Ridiculous pop for Sable. Mero puts a robe on Sable that says Property of Marvelous Marc Mero. Brandi is big and Italian. That’s all there is to him really. He jumps Mero to start us off and gets a side slam for two. Big Sable chant starts up as Mero gets a DDT to take over.

He’s starving for attention apparently. Someone brings a bouquet of flowers for Sable and Mero isn’t pleased at all. He beats up the flowers instead of Brandi and sends Sable to the back to great heat. Brandi’s limited offense is in full swing here including a sitout Gordbuster for two.

Brandi speeds things up a bit and gets two off a reversal to a suplex. TKO is countered and Brandi is sent to the floor on the kickout. Sunset flip gets two and here’s Sable to distract the referee and the TKO (Fireman’s Carry into a Cutter) ends this. Mero beats him up with the flowers for fun post match.

Rating: C. This actually wasn’t that bad. It would have been a lot better if anyone actually cared about Brandi but I guess that’s splitting hairs. This wasn’t much of anything but it wasn’t boring which is rather surprising. Decent little match that hopefully ends this feud once and for all.

DX goes off to inspect the hearse which I might have mentioned earlier but I’m not sure that’s here and open the back door. Inside are….women. The pull the guys inside and Chyna shuts the door. And they were in a hearse why?

Shane arrives with Mike Tyson. Maybe that should be switched.

Quebecers vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

…the heck? What in the world are these doing here? Didn’t I suffer enough back in 94? They start on the floor of course and it’s all hardcore dudes in control so far. Jacques, looking about 90 pounds heavier than the last time I saw him, starts with Funk officially. Piledriver by Rougeau can’t keep Terry down for even one.

Off to Pierre who used to be a pirate I think but I might have my guys backwards. Cactus comes in to save Charlie/Terry and throws a Mandible Claw on the referee because he’s a little nuts. That’s good for a DQ but the beating continues post match. Terry, the freaking crazy man that he is, launches a Vader Bomb off the apron to take out everyone. Cactus clears the ring with a bat despite not really being in trouble. No rating as this was mainly brawling without much of any actual wrestling.

DX is still looking for the Deadman and asks some Mexican midgets. Shawn doesn’t want to bend down that far so Chyna picks him up instead.

Tyson is having fun talking to….Sgt. Slaughter?

NWA North American Title: Bradshaw vs. Jeff Jarrett

Bradshaw is a Blackjack here so he has more or less no chance here. Jarrett has Cornette and the Rock N Roll Express with him which is an odd combination indeed. Cornette gets on commentary because he’s awesome. Cornette rants about the WWF being worse than the NWA and goes about 20 seconds without taking a breath in one long sentence. Nothing impressive for Cornette but awesome for normal humans.

Jarrett controls to start but runs into the future New York Millionaire who launches him with a fallaway slam. Bradshaw went 40 minutes in the Rumble last night. The Express interferes to give Jarrett the advantage but he misses a charge. Gibson takes him down again but there’s what would become the Clothesline From JBL for no cover. BIG powerbomb takes Jarrett down again and has to fight the Express some more. Windham is at ringside and does nothing but accidentally hit Bradshaw to end it.

Rating: D+. This was a mess for the most part but had some entertaining value to it. Bradshaw was a guy that they wanted to push for a long time it seemed but it took six years for them to finally pull the trigger on him for some reason. The NWA angle is one of those that I’m still not sure what the point was but it would die off soon.

The NWA guys beat Bradshaw down post match and Windham turns on him, joining the NWA again. They had a decent little stable going there.

Ads for house shows.

Time for Hour #2 which is where the good stuff happened more often than not.

Shawn rants about not speaking Spanish and not being able to find Taker, and the lights go out. Great you’ve summoned Satan somehow.

Tyson is still walking around in the back.

There’s the gong going off and there go the lights again. Do they pay their electric bills or not? Someone is lowered from the ceiling but you can’t see anyone clearly at all. The lights come up….and it’s Shawn in Taker attire. He’s managing to dance here so I guess his back wasn’t completely destroyed until the next day. Chyna and HHH head to the ring with a grill as it’s time for a cookout.

Let the wiener jokes begin. Chyna has a salami which may or may not be a joke. HHH offers Owen (The Mr. Hanky of WWF, which was the tenth episode of South Park and the most recent at the time so that really was a new idea at the time) a title match next week despite having a bad knee. He also says why would you want to ride Space Mountain (throwing in a WOO here) because it’s old and broken down. I wonder if Flair ever called him out on that later.

Shawn says he’s still awesome and wanted to give Taker one more shot but he’s gone. He wants to know who’s next for the title shot and says the name Stone Cold, drawing the biggest pop of the night by far. He goes over Austin’s resume and points out that he has done all those things as well, although he leaves out being one of the three people to win a pair of Rumbles. Shawn says that the Heartbreak Kid lays down for absolutely nobody, which seemed like it was taking a lot of effort to say for some reason.

Tyson is talking to the LOD which is so awesome it’s beyond words. Sunny shows up to hit on him which gives Hawk a rush. Ok then.

Los Boricuas vs. Owen Hart/Taka Michinoku/Headbangers

Honky Tonk Man of all people is on commentary here. Has anyone ever explained why Los Boricuas aren’t Las Boricuas as they should be? Miguel (don’t worry about who is who. Only Savio ever meant anything) starts with Taka and actually beats up the champion a bit. Off to Mosh and Jesus now and there are a lot of leapfrogs. JR says Jerry and Honky are talking like cousins, wink wink nudge nudge.

The Puerto Rican gang beats on Mosh for awhile and Savio WOOs at the crowd which seems to be a theme for the night. Owen comes in to a BIG pop, which means nothing though and he should be fed to HHH of course, and the Sharpshooter ends one of the unimportant guys with relative ease.

Rating: C-. Just barely long enough to pass here but it wasn’t too bad. These matches aren’t very good but when you have three minutes and eight guys, how much can you get in there? The point was for Owen to look good and he ran through the four guys with ease at the end so it did its job and wasn’t terribly boring so I’ll let it pass.

Owen accepts HHH’s challenge for next week.

Tyson is talking to the Nation now.

Austin is still to come. If you couldn’t figure out the ending already you’re an idiot.

Rocky Maivia vs. Ahmed Johnson

They’re alternating between Rocky Maivia and The Rock at this point. Ahmed rushes the ring and Rocky takes him down almost immediately. Ahmed could have been awesome but he couldn’t stay healthy. Rock hits an elbow drop which is just a flashy move here and nothing special at all, not even having a name yet.

Crowd HATES Rocky here. Ahmed blocks a suplex and here he comes (To save the day! Save the day!). Big clothesline takes the Great One down and we hit the floor. Rocky into the steps but here’s Mark Henry to run interference. He grabs a chair as Rocky takes a spinebuster. It’s time for the Plunge but there’s the chair to Ahmed’s back and the Rock Bottom (no name either) ends it. Really short so no rating again.

Shamrock runs down to get a piece of the Rock but he bails.

We get a clip of last night with Shawn standing over the open casket and Taker grabbing his balls. Odd moment.

Tyson is chilling with DX.

Tag Titles: Godwinns vs. New Age Outlaws

The Outlaws are still fine tuning things here and wouldn’t join DX for over two more months. Road Dogg does the big long intro as he’s coming to the ring. They’re in overalls here to make fun of the hog farmers I guess. And the fight is on almost immediately with the big men taking over early. The Outlaws had a tendency to get destroyed for the vast majority of their matches before somehow escaping with the belts.

Billy gets his overalls ripped off to be left in blue tights. Ross is pimping the heck out of that replay. As I predicted the Outlaws are getting destroyed here. Phineas goes Japan by launching some kicks at Billy’s ribs. No Road Dogg in yet. We’re talking about Tyson more or less non stop here which is fine for once. This has been completely one sided.

Road Dogg has to break up a pin while Lawler talks about how everyone in his family is a boxer, except for his aunt who is a Doberman. Funny line. Billy tries to fight back which gets him nowhere. Wheelbarrow slam gets two by Henry. It all breaks down and Road Dogg gets a shot to Henry with a bucket for Billy to get the pin to retain. Road Dogg was never in the match. There was a brick in the bucket, as I guess the METAL BUCKET wasn’t enough to knock Henry out.

Rating: D. This was just bad. The Outlaws were awful in the ring at this point and the Godwinns were never good in the first place. This didn’t work in the slightest with there being one Outlaw in the match the entire time and the ending being pure Outlaws trash. Boring match overall and a weak main event. Granted that’s not the most important part of the show in the slightest.

And here it is. Vince brings out Mike Tyson for a major announcement. This was one of the major blows against WCW as this got WWF mainstream media coverage and in turn got fans watching. Tyson and the Attitude Era fit perfectly together and WCW was in trouble and knew it. Tyson lists off some of his favorites: Don Leo Jonathan (never wrestled for WWF) and Nikolai Volkoff (WTF???).

Vince starts to make the announcement that at Mania, in this very ring….CUE GLASS SHATTER! Security (read as Slaughter and referees) come out to stop him and the ring is completely full now. Austin says that he’s tired of Tyson shaking everyone’s hands and he won’t shake Tyson’s hands. This is an awesome moment if you can’t tell.

Austin says he wants a piece of Tyson. Get a room dude. It’s the famous scene of Austin saying that he’s the toughest son of a gun on the planet and that while he respects what Tyson has done in boxing, he’s in Austin’s world now. Austin says that if his words aren’t working he has some sign language for Tyson and flips him off. Tyson shoves Austin and it’s a big brawl.

The goons finally get Austin out of the ring and we get the famous shot of Vince shouting down to Austin that he ruined it, morphing into Mr. McMahon for the first time I believe. Austin flips Vince off and apparently hit one of Tyson’s guys. The crowd noise is ridiculously loud. After a quick break, Vince is seen begging Tyson to stay as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling is bad and the matches were pointless, but that’s the key word: pointless. This wasn’t about wrestling as it was clearly about making Austin look like a major deal. It was incredibly clear that Austin was getting the title at Mania. What wasn’t clear was how he was going to do it. Adding Tyson in was a perfect blend of mainstream and wrestling and its importance can’t be overshadowed. This was a fairly decent Raw for the most part but the ending was excellent. Good show overall.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

NXT
Date: January 18, 2012
Location: Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Josh Matthews

It’s the 100th episode of this accursed show and we’re in Vegas for a wedding. Naturally it’ll be here in the arena in front of an audience because that’s how wrestling works. Also we’re going to have Titus vs. Young for like the 9th time because that’s all we can do on this season. Something big has to happen tonight right? Let’s get to it.

The opening video is a recap of the wedding thing and the love triangle.

Theme song. This is the closest thing to an NXT Supershow we’ll ever have anymore I think.

Cole is on commentary tonight. Oh boy. I think this is just a one night return.

Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young

No DQ match. Young runs to the floor for a bit but back in the ring he gets run over by an elbow. Backbreaker gets two for Titus. Darren gets thrown to the floor an DO THE DOG BARK! A slam of some sort on the floor puts Darren down but he manages a neckbreaker on the apron to take Titus down and we take a break. Back with Darren getting two off something we missed.

Belly to back gets two. Off to a cravate and Young sends him into the corner. The gutbuster gets two. The No DQ aspect of this has meant nothing so far. Young sets for another gutbuster but since he used that already and isn’t a main event guy, Titus counters and sends him in for the Clash of the Titus and the pin at 5:57.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of the No DQ rule? This was nothing special at all, which is probably due to Young being worthless on almost all counts. Titus is ok but there’s nothing left for him to do here. Hopefully this is the end of this feud because it’s gone on way too long.

Titus gets on the mic afterwards and says he wants to thank the fans. He wants to thank them for absolutely nothing. Titus goes on a rant about how he’s sick of doing everything for 46 weeks and getting stuck with a leprechaun for nothing. He’s the star of this show and the star of every show the WWE has to offer. Cole’s heckling kills this for a bit because he laughs instead of acting like this is something special. Thanks for nothing and now he’ll be making it a win for himself. Cole makes fun of him again, totally diminishing the shock value of the turn.

Heath Slater vs. Percy Watson

Watson takes over with a dropkick to start. Cole lists off his various accomplishments as Slater takes over. Cole asks about the Redemption Points thing and Josh isn’t sure how they work either. Slater takes over and there’s nothing interesting going on here. Josh and Cole argue about Lynyrd Skynyrd and Watson starts his comeback. He jumps around a lot but the fans seem more interested in Slater than Watson. Spinning splash gets two. Persecution ends this at 3:41.

Rating: D. Boring match again and we’re told that this was a rookie upsetting a Superstar. That’s so cute: they think people still care about something like that. Also, Slater qualifies as a Superstar? Isn’t that like 20 losses in a row for him? Boring match and the crowd shockingly didn’t care.

Maxine yells at the Usos. Jey sneezes on her dress.

Maxine yells at more people when Curtis shows up and says calm down. She goes off ranting and Kaitlyn comes up. Curtis hits on her and gets called creepy.

Yoshi Tatsu/Trent Barreta vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins

This match AGAIN? Wait why am I surprised by that? Trent vs. Curt starts us off but it’s off to Reks quickly. Yoshi jumps in with a top rope chop for two. Was there a tag that I missed? Josh brings up Cole not talking about Superstars enough. Cole says look what he did for Bryan and Hawkins gets two. Cole also says he had a role in keeping the title on Miz. Powerslam gets two for Reks.

Cole blasts the hypocrisy of people praising Bryan’s cash-in but blasting people like Edge. Double tag brings in Trent and Reks as this match is very forgettable. Running boot gets two for Trent. Cole says none of these guys are part of the competition which is true. I love Cole pointing out stupid stuff on here. Whisper in the Wind gets two for Barreta and everything breaks down. Reks loads up Barreta onto a shoulder like for a powerbomb but spins to the side into a DDT and the pin at 5:39.

Rating: D. I know I’ve used that every time but it’s been the case every time: the matches are ok but they’re nothing I’m going to remember after about five minutes. These are almost all matches we’ve seen before and there isn’t much of a reason to want to see them again. Boring stuff here, but it is interesting that there’s a tag division on NXT alone but the two biggest wrestling companies in the country can barely find a pair of teams for a PPV title defense.

Raw ReBound. Ace’s eruption is still pretty good.

The wedding set is built in the ring. Elvis is performing the ceremony. And it’s Striker as Elvis. He’s been ordained for a full five minutes. The fans aren’t impressed by his accent at all. Curtis is brought out who is in a leather jacket and a tuxedo t-shirt. There’s some guy with him who looks a little drunks. Maxine comes out and to be fair, she does look good in the dress. She yells about the drunk guy (Chad, who says he was promised a chance to meet Hillbilly Jim) but shuts up eventually.

We get to the vows and Curtis says yes. She says yes also but we get to the objection part and the crowd pops in expectation. You would think Bateman would come out there but actually Striker takes off the glasses (it was obvious it was him and not meant to be a secret I don’t think) and says “Really? No one here objects to this?” Funny line. Bateman finally comes out for the big overly dramatic objection and actually rocking a suit.

He says he didn’t send the e-mail, but Curtis did. Bateman shows us footage of Curtis stealing an iPad and sending the e-mail. It took him about 4 seconds to send an e-mail that took 20 seconds to read but whatever. Maxine freaks and Curtis says he wants Maxine to come with him to the top. She slaps him and the brawl between the guys breaks out. Bateman hits his finisher on Curtis and walks off. Maxine says wait and slaps Bateman then kisses him. And that’s it. No seriously, that’s the end of the show.

Overall Rating: F. I can’t believe that they actually ended like that. I come into NXT with no expectations at all anymore and somehow this came off as a disappointment. I think it might be that I’m trying to avoid yelling about how we just wasted 10 or so weeks going around in a circle to get back to Bateman and Maxine being together but I’m not quite sure. Where in the world do they go from here? I’m not sure, but I’ll bet it takes at least 2 months to do it. Just WOW.

Results
Titus O’Neal b. Darren Young – Clash of the Titus
Percy Watson b. Heath Slater – Persecution
Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barreta/Yoshi Tatsu

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Genesis 2010
Date: January 17, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

So we’re in the Hogan Era on PPV, three months after he was announced. We’ve been over the stupidity of that so I’ll ignore it for now. The main event tonight is Angle vs. Styles, but we also have EPIC encounters like THE BAND vs. Beer Money.  The idiocy of this astounds me. Also, we have two matches that are straight from the last PPV or January 4th and no one has a problem with that. This is hopefully going to be a live review so this is kind of a one man LD so let’s get to it.

The video is your standard thing about everyone saying it’s their destiny to be a champion. Not sure what that has to do with a new beginning or a Genesis but whatever.

Oh and we have a four sided ring now. Nothing says being an alternative to WWE than looking even more and more like them. And my life is made complete as we have the fans with an epic WE WANT SIX SIDES chant at Hogan and Bischoff as they come out to open the show.

 

I would bet that they’ll keep it as they decide that they know more about the wrestling the fans want than the fans. Of course they mention Vince because it’s a law or whatever. This made my night though, as Hogan and Bischoff show that they don’t know everything the fans know.

 

Also, it shows me that the fans aren’t just brainwashed. Also, it amuses me that they keep saying that the ring is pro wrestling. Strange, I’ve always thought pro wrestling was what went on in the ring. You can wrestle on the floor or in the back. ECW made a company out of it. So wait. According to TNA, when a match goes outside the ring, it ceases being a match? Is it interpretive dance or something? Either way, that made me smile.

X–Division Title: Amazing Red vs. ???

There was no opponent announced and without saying it’s a mystery opponent, it’s Brian Kendrick coming out to some weird violin music. This isn’t bad, but it’s better than some other options I suppose. This should be good I guess though if they just let them go. The name helps a lot also as it’s his real name so it’s not something awful like Junior Fatu.

 

If nothing else this is the best choice for the opener as it’s almost certain to be high flying and interesting looking. It worked in WCW and it should work here. That’s the point of openers: get the crowd alive. These two should be able to do that pretty well and they are so far. And we’re in a leg lock. Why are we using psychology in a match like this? And my stream is out so the rest of this is being written on Monday other than the intro to the Knockouts match.

 

Oh there’s also a ramp leading to the ring. Think of ECW or old school WCW. Hogan’s changes are already viewable. The fans chanting WE WANT SIX SIDES truly made my night. Hogan’s daughter is here. Kendrick sticks to the knee for no apparent reason. Actually that’s not fair as there’s a point to it, but this is supposed to be a high flying match and it’s a mat based thing instead.

 

Oh and Lashley isn’t going to wrestle tonight, which is false advertising but whatever. Ah there we go. NOW we get to the air and the match picks up A LOT. For one thing the fans are into it which is the whole point of this. We get our second shot of Brooke Hogan and I still don’t care at all.

 

Well at least Kendrick is working on the knee a lot so he’s being consistent and it takes away Red’s best offense so he’s thinking which is a big way of scoring points to me. The fans are split here which is interesting. Red hits a HOKEY SMOKE move to get the win. More or less he goes for a sunset flip but jumps to the top rope so he hits a very fast and fluid sunset flip that looks awesome. I was genuinely impressed by that ending.

Rating: C+. This was designed to get the crowd going and while it could have been much better it did its job well enough, especially the ending. I’m not entirely sure on the idea of having your big surprise losing here, but at the same time it might not be a long term thing. Either way, this was certainly ok, although the leg work might not have been the best idea.

Bischoff, Hogan and the Band are in the back and the Band is told this is their only shot so make it count. Hall and Pac play Rock Paper Scissors to determine who is Nash’s partner. Hall loses and won’t wrestle, as he looks awful in tights apparently. False advertising number 2.

Sean Morely vs. Christopher Daniels

Remember, even though Morely is wearing a towel and coming out to something similar to his old music, HE ISN’T VAL VENIS! Brooke gets Morely’s towel. Three times the camera has been on her in less than 30 minutes now. Daniels is the heel here and cuts a bland heel promo before the match which doesn’t work well at all since the fans aren’t buying it. Fourth shot of Brooke.

 

Daniels in the long tights works much better. Has that thing on his shoulder ever been explained? I don’t think it has been. I’ve always liked Morely. He’s a guy you can almost guarantee a good match out of which is so rare in modern wrestling. Daniels hooks a triangle choke to appeal to the MMA fans out there.

 

Apparently Morely is a true pro. I thought they were all pros. You can wrestle in TNA as an amateur? They’ve never heard of Mass Transit have they? Morely hits a Blue Thunder Bomb which is one of my favorites in No Mercy so I’m liking this more and more every second. I’m still not sold on a match being made for no apparent reason and then having a PPV match of it 3 days later but then again I’m no professional.

 

A clothesline is called an STO. That’s expected I guess but still, that wasn’t even close. The Best Moonsault Ever misses and Sean goes for the splash. Since that’s too easy though it doesn’t work, although he hits it a few seconds later which draws Brooke Hogan shot #5.

Rating: C+. Again, not bad at all. Morely is a guy that you can certainly depend on for a good match and it worked well here. Again though, why is this on PPV? Why were they even fighting? That was never explained which is a common theme on this show I think. Also, Morely hasn’t wrestled on the main stage in years and he can beat last month’s world title challenger? That makes perfect sense right?

Now I didn’t see this, but allegedly during this match, a group of fans turned their back on the match. This is allegedly a “stable” of fans that are collectively going against this because they don’t want Val in the company. Are you kidding me? It’s one thing to boo faces and cheer heels or something, but to become the focus of a match isn’t being a fan. It’s being a selfish jerk. Get over yourselves people. That’s just pathetic as all goodness.

We recap ODB vs. Tara, which is they’ve feuded over the title so tonight they’re doing it again because they have nothing else. It’s 2/3 falls if nothing else though.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB

This is 2/3 falls which makes sense as they’ve had a match or two before and you can’t have the same match again as we had a few weeks ago and then ask people to pay for it. THAT WOULD MAKE NO SENSE! That Broken song is AWESOME. There’s not a ton going on in the first few minutes here as it’s just them going back and forth.

 

This is the problem with 2/3 falls matches: you don’t have to really pay attention until the second fall, which is starting right now as Tara hooks a small package for the first fall. Tara hooks the tarantula. Not a lot is going on here at all. We get a great shot of Tara’s back to make this match much better. Brooke shot number 6. This time she’s with Joey Fatone.

 

If TNA insists on the celebrity thing, get celebrities that have mattered this millennium. ODB uses the Tumbleweed. Are we in the mid 70s all of a sudden? She pulls something out of her cleavage to be odd before hitting a powerslam for two. This is kind of meandering along and needs to end soon.

 

ODB keeps touching herself and checking her pulse. It’s freaking stupid looking. And the Widow’s Peak ends it. The timing was pretty good if nothing else. What is up with the freaking spider???

Rating: C-. Not great here as the 2/3 falls thing felt way too much like a gimmick for the sake of having a gimmick which I can If never advocate. Tara winning the title is fine, but she didn’t need to get two straight wins to do it. That was overkill which is never a good thing.

Pope cuts a promo where I have no clue what he’s talking about. Oh it’s about Desmond Wolfe, who he already beat clean, making this match completely pointless. Christy reminds me of Lois Lane from Smallville.

Tag Titles: British Invasion vs. Hernandez/Matt Morgan

The stupidity of just putting two big names like these guys into a team astounds me but whatever. If nothing else they’re most likely getting the tag titles off of the worthless British Invasion, although putting them on two guys thrown together and called a tag team? That’s nothing WWE would ever do, nope.

 

Hernandez is wearing a shirt here so it looks like he’s wrestling in a one piece swimsuit. It’s fairly obvious that we’re getting new champions here but at least they’re giving us a bit of drama first and letting the Invasion have some credibility. The problem here is that other than Williams we have three power guys and Williams isn’t in the match much either.

 

Oh and Nick Hogan is here too. This is idiotic at this point. They make fun of the vintage joke, because no one has ever done that before. Williams gets a jumping back elbow from the top which makes this a much better match already. Morgan FINALLY hits the chokeslam that he’s been trying to get all match.

 

The problem with this match is apparent as either face is able to beat up both champions on his own. What’s the point of something like that? The bicycle kick from Morgan hits and it’s so hard that Magnus jumped before it connected. That’s very impressive.

Rating: C. This was average. The title change was more or less a given and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. Sometimes you have to have it go one way or the other and that’s what this did here. It’s not bad but it was more of a formality than anything else and it came off pretty well.

Lashley jumps Bischoff for no apparent reason and Abyss knocks him the heck out. Dress rehearsal for Strikeforce I guess. Hogan and Bischoff come in and Abyss as the childish character is something I’m not sure of yet. It’s just odd. He sucks up to Hogan which at least fits with his character as of late. Yeah he’s not channeling Foley from 98-99 at all here.

Desmond Wolfe vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Yet another match that was on Impact and we’re getting it again here, but this time we get to PAY FOR IT! WOO HOO! Wolfe has some hot chick with him that needs to be on camera more. Slick 2.0 comes out second. He’s dropping money on the crowd. Completely original there. Dang that girl is hot indeed. I have never once gotten the appeal of Elijah Burke. I just don’t get it at all.

 

Wolfe is good but I’m not sold either way on him yet. Thankfully Pope gets stretched all over the place which makes me smile quite a bit. If nothing else Pope gets a NICE STO to put him down, which Tenay screws up the call on again by calling that a clothesline. Come on Mikey. You know the history of the Villiano family yet you don’t know what a freaking clothesline is?

 

I’m digging Wolfe here as he’s showing off a lot of submission work in there which is more of a staple of TNA. The fans like Pope if nothing else, although these fans will cheer anything you ask them to. The fans say this is awesome. I would disagree but it’s been decent. Pope tries to get a big knee but Wolfe just takes his head off with a lariat. NICE.

Rating: B-. Not bad at all here. The fans were into it so I can’t ask for much more than that. Wolfe winning is definitely the right thing, although I’m not sure I get the point in having the same match on Impact and then the same match on PPV but whatever. This wasn’t terrible at all though with some nice stuff in there.

JB is thrown off of TV by Bischoff. More room for Bubba I guess. Hemme interviews Flair who says nothing important.

We recap the Band jumping Beer Money. That’s about it, and we have a tag match because of it.

Kevin Nash/Syxx–Pac vs. Beer Money

Penzer’s mic cuts up a lot during the announcement of the Band. Hall and Pac need to leave soon. They’re just not worth anything anymore, not when there are so many young guys that can do their thing just as well. THANK GOODNESS there’s no beer wagon there or whatever for Storm to ride on. I hate that thing.

 

Still not entirely sold on Beer Money but they’re not terrible at all. Pac and Storm, who looks a bit like Shane Douglas in the eyes to me, start us off. Nash comes in and thankfully he manages to not get injured yet. Pac isn’t bad, which I think is because they’re keeping him away from the bigger guys. I’ve never been able to get into him vs. a big man. It just never worked at all for me.

 

I freaking hate the Bronco Buster. Have I made that clear over the years? Hall eventually stumbles out, having lost the rock paper scissors game that they keep bringing up. And Hall randomly pulls a fan over the railing and kicks his head in. In the ring Nash gets caught by presumably a superkick although we can’t see it and Roode pins him. Thank goodness there as I really thought they would have it go the other way.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here, but again it was nothing special. Beer Money winning was a HUGE positive here and really does relieve a lot of my worries here. The match wasn’t terrible but it’s nothing great. The whole show has just been ok from a wrestling standpoint, which isn’t good as this is supposed to be all top level matches right?

Hogan and Bischoff talk about the Band and Hogan is going to call them out on Thursday. They hint at something Hogan did but don’t say what. Where’s that ominous music when I need it?

Abyss vs. ???

This was supposed to be Lashley but they’re changing everything around as usual so we don’t know who he’s fighting here. And it’s Mr. Kennedy now called Mr. Anderson. This is a very interesting pick up to me as he’s incredibly polarizing. He’s a guy that could be a huge deal or he could stay as unimportant and boring as some see him.

 

There were a few times that I loved this guy and a few times that I wanted to change the channel as I was sick to death of him. Either way, I like the signing even though it was a bit lackluster. He starts saying Kennedy and cuts himself off to say Anderson before telling the audience to wait for it and do it again.

 

This is a good acquisition I think though, although the issue I have here is simple: they’re rapidly running out of signings to make. Also, they don’t have room for a midcard champion to be on the card, yet they’re bringing in more talent. Some guys have to go soon or they’re going to run out of room. Anderson looks great and hopefully won’t get hurt.

 

That’s the other bad side of him: can he stay healthy? If he can, then the sky could be the limit for him. The emphasis there is on could though. Anderson works on the arm but that gets him nowhere. The fans chant overrated at Anderson. The fans are vocal if nothing else.

 

Back to the arm so at least we have some flow to it. I have no idea who the faces and heels here are supposed to be but what the heck, who cares? Abyss makes a small comeback but Anderson hits a botched neckbreaker to stop that. A chokeslam gets two. I keep expecting Anderson to break.

 

Why does Taz always use the term pin cover? I’ve never heard anyone else say that. It’s chair time now. And Anderson pulls out brass knuckles to hit Abyss and knock him out for the pin. Yeah he hit the guy in the leather mask with knuckles for the pin. That would in theory not work that well but it’s TNA so there we go.

Rating: C-. This ran a bit long but it wasn’t that bad. It was a way to give Anderson credibility and nothing more which there’s nothing wrong with. This worked fine though and got a decent reaction from the crowd. Anderson is a big deal potentially so this was the only real outcome.

We recap Angle and Styles, which was more or less about them wanting to be champion and be the best in the world. This is Angle’s last shot which I don’t buy for a second but there we go.

TNA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle

This is one of those matchups where all you have to do is just throw them out there and it’s more or less a guaranteed near classic. Flair comes down soon after we start and I’m not thrilled at all. Why do they need to have Flair get involved and likely have him interfere? These two are going to have a great match no matter what, so why mess with it?

 

To be fair though that could be the title for all of TNA at the moment so there we are. Styles has been teasing a heel turn as of late which really scares me. For one thing, the only other face is Sting, and what’s the point in that as they JUST had their feud at BFG. This is another match that’s hard to comment on as it’s very solid. They keep countering finishers and Angle finally hooks the ankle lock.

 

AJ just kicks him off. I don’t think I ever remember that before. AJ isn’t limping blast it. Angle gets a Styles Clash which never gets old. There’s a tiny A for effort chant. We’ll see about that. The Angle Slam gets two as we’re running low on time. Angle goes Olympic and puts Styles in the ankle lock with the grapevine.

 

AJ taps but Flair pulled the referee out. And of course his ankle is ok now. Flair throws the belt to AJ and he clocks Angle with it to go heel and gets the easy pin. I guess the pair of heels celebrate to take us out.

Rating: B+. This was a great match, but two things keep it from being a classic. First of all, the no selling of the ankle by AJ. He’s tapping out one minute and the next he’s perfectly fine? That doesn’t work for me, not when Angle had been working on it all match.

 

Second, the unclean ending, but that’s a way of life in all wrestling so I can let that slide a bit. This wasn’t as good as their Impact match a few weeks ago but it was still pretty solid. Easily the match of the night but they’ve had far better ones.

Overall Rating: D+. Aside from the main event and MAYBE Anderson’s debut, this felt like a long Impact. Morely vs. Daniels, Kendrick vs. Red, ODB vs. Tara, the tag title match (to a lesser degree) and Pope vs. Wolfe all could have been on any free TV show and in many cases were on free TV less than two weeks ago.

 

Also, not only did AJ and Angle have the same match on free TV, they had a BETTER match on free TV. Again I ask: why should I pay for something that may or may not be better that I could have seen for free a mere thirteen days earlier? Two of the big matches didn’t happen and while we got perfectly suitable replacements, it’s kind of a screw you to the fans that might have paid to see those matches.

 

I’m sure a lot of people paid to see the Outsiders and some paid to see Lashley, but they didn’t see either of those. To the good aspect here, among other things: every match was perfectly watchable. However, that’s just it: other than the main event, they were all just watchable.

 

There was nothing here I would go out of my way to see at all, and that’s the point of a PPV. The main event kept this from being a borderline failure. Check it out if you’re a big TNA fan, but other than that, not so much.

 

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