This one is an upgrade over Snitsky. Today it’s Hall of Famer Hacksaw Jim Duggan.

Jim got his real start in the Mid-South territory where he debuted as part of the heel Rat Pack stable. One of the other members of this stable was Ted DiBiase, who eventually left to join Skandor Akbar and invited Duggan to join him. Jim said no, turning him face. This set off a huge feud with DiBiase, culminating in a Coal Miner’s Glove Steel Cage Tuxedo Loser Leaves Town match on March 22, 1985 in New Orleans (the commentary says the SuperDome but the WWE Mid-South DVD says Houston). I’m actually not making that up.

Jim Duggan vs. Ted DiBiase

Inside of a cage with a coal miner’s glove (meaning it’s loaded, a signature weapon of DiBiase) on a pole with both guys wearing tuxedoes for reasons not explained and the loser leaves the area with falls coming by pin or submission. Got all that? Just to further confuse me, JR (commentator) says we’re in the SuperDome before saying we’re in the Sam Houston Coliseum. How confusing was this promotion? Apparently this has been brewing for two years.

DiBiase, called the Big Cheese here, refuses to get in the cage. He’s given a ten count to get in and makes it at nine so we can get started. The cage is barely above the wrestlers’ heads and is probably seven feet above their heads. We get further clarification as the loser only leaves for thirty days. Ted tries to get in a cheap shot but gets thrown into the corner and punched down.

Duggan is all BRING IT ON and punches DiBiase down before raining down right hands. Ted begs off long enough to send Duggan into the cage twice in a row. We get our first blood of the match as DiBiase tries to rip the jacket off of him. After taking his own jacket off, Ted goes for the glove but Duggan is right there for the save. Duggan is sent into the cage again and there are the DiBiase fist drops. Ted still can’t get up top but he avoids a charge in the corner and pounds away.

A piledriver stops Duggan’s comeback attempt and more fists are dropped. DiBiase goes up again but gets crotched and dropped face first onto the buckle. Duggan wins a slugout and starts the beating before ramming Ted into the cage. Jim’s face is COVERED in blood but he climbs the pole and gets the glove.

He pulls back a right hand but DiBiase throws powder in his eyes to save himself. Ted puts on the glove but misses a big right hand and collides with Duggan to put both guys down. DiBiase misses a middle rope glove shot and Jim takes the glove away. A BIG right hand to the forehead knocks DiBiase out cold for the win.

Rating: B+. This is all spectacle and that’s all it needed to be. These guys beat the living tar out of each other and the blood makes it better here. Notice something interesting here: there’s no swerve at the end and there’s no waiting for the next big match. Instead it was the face beating the tar out of the heel to end their feud and the reaction was great. Why is that so hard?

Duggan would jump to the WWF in 1987 and would spend most of the year feuding with foreigners and Harley Race while squashing jobbers. He would be in the first Royal Rumble in January of 1988 which had 20 entrants and aired on free TV.

Royal Rumble

Okerlund explains the rules and the intervals are every two minutes here. If you don’t know the Rumble rules, you have no business reading this. It’s a battle royal, people come in every two minutes, there are 20 people in it (this year only) last man standing wins. #1 is Bret Hart and #2 is Tito Santana, and wouldn’t you know it their tag teams are feuding right now. I mean what are the odds?

They slug it out to start with no one having any kind of advantage. Bret finally takes him down and heads towards the rope as Butch Reed comes in at #3. This is a different kind of Rumble as heels don’t fight heels and faces don’t fight faces yet. They just kind of work together as you would expect them to. Tito is almost thrown out by Reed but he escapes and beats on both heels for a bit.

It’s Neidhart in at #4 as not a ton is happening so far in this match. This leaves Santana more or less down 3-1 and everyone pounds away on him. The clock is pretty lenient so far as there’s no way they’re going two minutes between each of these entrants. We get some slow triple teaming and after a choke on the ropes, here’s Jake Roberts in at #5 to quickly toss out Reed. We’ve got Roberts/Santana vs. the Hart Foundation which is quite the tag match when you think about it.

The Harts get beaten down and then thrown into each other but Neidhart breaks up the DDT. Bret piledrives Santana down and Harley Race is in at #6. The crowd is staying way into this which is a good sign for the future. Things kind of slow down a bit as the faces and heels beat on each other for a little while. Here’s Jim Brunzell at #7 to make it a six man tag for all intents and purposes.

Roberts goes EVIL by pulling on Neidhart’s beard. Only Reed has been eliminated so far. The good guys are in control at the moment with Race almost being thrown out. Here’s Sam Houston, Jake’s real life half brother, coming in at #8 to beat on everyone in sight. Well every heel at least. The Harts finally get together and throw out Santana to get us down to six people in the ring.

After about 90 seconds, here’s Danny Davis at #9. To be fair he’s barely a jobber so it’s not like this is going to give the heels any significant advantage. Oh wait he’s fighting Sam Houston so yeah, the heels are in control. Race gets caught in the ropes and Jake keeps knocking him back and forth in a funny bit. Davis tries to kick Jake and gets his leg caught, followed by a suplex from Roberts.

Danny escapes a DDT as we get Boris Zhukov at #10, maybe 80 seconds after Davis came in. Things continue to go slow as we’re trying to build up to a regular battle royal. Race goes after Boris in the first instance of heel vs. heel in this match. Race and Hart double team Brunzell for a bit as this continues to be slow. Don Muraco comes out as #11 but Nikolai Volkoff follows him out, apparently thinking he’s #11. Now there’s a story you don’t see that often but which could work.

Brunzell puts out Zhukov and apparently Nikolai is going to be #12 in a few moments. After way too long of nothing happening, Nikolai is officially #12. Brunzell is put to the apron but gets back in just as Race is eliminated by Muraco. We’ve got eight in there at the moment, which would be Hart, Neidhart, Roberts, Brunzell, Houston, Davis, Muraco and Volkoff. Race won’t leave ringside so as Duggan comes out at #13, he beats Race up on the way. This would lead to one of those so ridiculous it’s hilarious moments at the Slammys.

Duggan goes right after Neidhart because HE wants to be the Jim in this match. The place is way into him too so the crowd reaction is good. After maybe a minute here’s Ron Bass at #14. Volkoff dumps Brunzell as Jake and Neidhart collide. The clock gets even shorter as B. Brian Blair is #15. There are way too many people in the ring now. Everyone fights everyone as Hillbilly Jim is #16, and the fourth person in this match named Jim. He also dumps out Jim Neidhart to empty the ring a tiny bit.

Dino Bravo is #17 as Bass dumps Houston. Back to slow motion mode with everyone pounding on people near the ropes without really doing much. Ultimate Warrior (doesn’t mean anything yet) is #18 and Bret is FINALLY put out by Don Muraco. I timed this next one, and the One Man Gang comes out at #19, 53 seconds after Warrior. They’re not even trying here. Gang immediately pounds on Roberts so Warrior jumps on the big man’s back. This is WAY before he would have been able to slam him anyway.

Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.

Bravo and Gang dump the Warrior as we’re down to six pretty quickly. Bass jumps the Dog and tosses him to get us down to five. Muraco dumps Bass and we have a final four of Muraco, Gang, Duggan and Bravo. Gang splashes Duggan in the corner, leaving Muraco to have to fight off both guys. He even takes Frenchy Martin down with a dropkick, only to have Gang clothesline him out to get us down to three.

Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where the words “well, they tried” come to mind. That’s the best way to put this match: they didn’t really know what they were doing yet, but they tried. The lack of star power hurt this one as only Duggan and maybe Dog were big names here. It wouldn’t be until next year when the star power came into this and it became a main event thing. Still though, it’s certainly not a bad match and they would get better as time went on.

Duggan spent the next few years beating up jobbers and doing little against big names. He was always an American though and was the first man to stand up to the evil Sgt. Slaughter when he turned his back on America. Duggan received a WWF Title shot against Slaughter at the Main Event IV.

WWF Title: Jim Duggan vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Pretty clear what we’ve got here but the story makes sense at least. Duggan brings Hogan with him which is about as simple of a pairing as you could ever ask for anywhere. Hogan gets thrown out during a break which is kind of odd. Ah apparently he isn’t a legal manager. Standard punch/kick stuff here as we all know Duggan isn’t going to do anything here.

Three Point Clothesline sends Slaughter to the floor. The General gets involved and then gets punched. Iron Sheik in case you didn’t know that. Duggan can’t do much other than punch here but that sums up a lot of his career in WWF. Board to the jaw of Duggan and Slaughter takes over even more. Duggan goes after the Sheik and Slaughter pops him with a chair for the DQ. Hogan runs out for the save and gets beaten down with the chair too.

Rating: D. Again nothing special at all here as Duggan just did nothing but throw punches and kicks. It was all setting up the DQ and the Hogan beatdown afterwards which is fine I guess but I would have liked a more entertaining match. At least the characters match up very well. This wasn’t very good but I’ve seen far worse.

Jim would barely do anything else in WWF and eventually left in late 1993. He would show up in Fall Brawl as a mystery opponent for Steve Austin’s US Title at Fall Brawl 1994.

US Title: Steve Austin vs. ???

And it’s Jim Duggan. Yes, the same Jim Duggan that hadn’t been seen in over a year. Yes, the same Jim Duggan that won what, four big matches EVER? Yes, the same Jim Duggan that apparently is number one contender despite NEVER WRESTLING HERE BEFORE. This is apparently a big deal.

Why it’s a big deal is beyond me but whatever. The bell rings three separate times so I guess we had two matches but whatever. Austin tries to run because this is terrifying or something I guess. Here’s the match: Backdrop, splash, pin. It’s an 8 second match which is called 27 for no apparent reason.

Rating: H. That’s for Hogan as that’s the only reason behind this at all. So let’s see. Steamboat is gone, Cactus is gone, and Austin looks like a joke. In their places we have Kevin Sullivan, Jim Duggan and Paul Orndorff later in the night, who had one good arm mind you.

He would hold the title for about three months, eventually losing it to Vader. Duggan would again drop down to the lower card and feud with whoever was around at the time. Around this time he developed a gimmick where he kept a roll of tape in his trunks and would wrap it around his hand to knock out his opponents. This led to a taped fist match for the Lord of the Ring at Bash at the Beach 1996.

Lord of the Ring: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Jim Duggan

This is a taped fist match for the stupid ring that DDP won last month that is now worthless since his title shot was revoked. So apparently in this you can tape your fists more than you usually can? I hate WCW. I truly do hate it at times, but at least it improves for a bit after this. The fans chant USA, even though both guys are Americans. That always made my head hurt.

I’d love to see someone that Duggan was fighting get fired up more than he did because of the chants and shout about how they’re MORE American than Duggan. Apparently 10,000 people were turned away. Maybe it would be better if they got an arena that held 10,000 people in the first place. Duggan has his feet taped together around the post. Again, is there some kind of tape fetish in this company? And he just gets out through some unseen method.

Again, Guerrrero vs. Regal and Heat vs. Steiners. Just thought I’d remind you of that. Page uses the ropes to avoid a suplex and Tony gets on him for it. Why? It’s a legal move. Everybody is shocked that Duggan can manage to take control without tape on his fists. Thanks for the vote of confidence in Duggan. After being on the floor for 8 seconds, Duggan slides Page in and walks into the Diamond Cutter for the pin. Duggan throws some tape on his fist and knocks Page out anyway. Another waste of time.

Rating: D-. Again, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS? For the life of me I can’t think of one. Either way, the match was terrible and I still fail to see the point in it. Just a waste of five minutes or so. Duggan was little more than a comedy guy at this point and that’s not the kind of match you should have on a PPV.

Duggan would spend the next few years having meaningless matches with almost no PPV matches at all. Eventually he would become a janitor and find the vacant TV Title in a trashcan before declaring himself champion. Here’s a title defense from about two days later on the February 19, 2000 WCW Saturday Night.

TV Title: Jim Duggan vs. Robert Gibson

Gibson is half of the Rock N Roll Express but bails into the corner to start. He jumps Duggan from behind as Jim is still in the coveralls because he’s a janitor. A backdrop puts Gibson down and an atomic drop does the same. The announcers talk about the upcoming pay per views as Gibson takes Jim down and puts on a chinlock. Duggan fights up but is taken right back down into another chinlock. Riveting stuff here. Gibson lets go of the hold and picks up Duggan’s 2×4 but the referee takes it away. Duggan hits the three point clothesline and the Old Glory knee drop to retain.

Rating: D. Egads they were dragging the bottom of the barrel here. Actually that makes sense as they literally dragged the title out of the trash for this match. Gibson looked to be about 85 years old out there and I don’t think the majority of the fans had any idea who he was. It’s clear why the title was retired in about two months.

I’m going to skip Duggan joining Team Canada and turning heel due to its sheer stupidity. Duggan would go to the indies after WCW went under but would get hired back to the WWF in a surprising move. He would stick around a shocking four years, though he was rarely anything more than a Heat wrestler, including this match from March 22, 2008 against Charlie Haas.

Charlie Haas vs. Jim Duggan

The announcers talk about the upcoming Wrestlemania 24 as Duggan scores with some early clotheslines to send Charlie outside. Haas goes under the ring and puts on a mask for some stupid gimmick he was doing at the time. Charlie gets all aggressive with the mask on and stomps away before getting two off an ax handle. Choking ensues and we hit a chinlock. Duggan fights up and takes off the mask, freaking Haas out enough that the three point clothesline can connect for the pin.

Rating: D. The mask part was the most interesting part of the match. Duggan was his usual fun self here and that’s all he was supposed to be. Charlie was a guy that never was going to be anything of note but it wasn’t for a lack of trying with all of the comedy gimmicks he had.

Jim Duggan is one of the goofiest, least important and harmless characters you’ll ever see and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. He almost never was a title contender but he would get a huge pop if he showed up on Raw tomorrow. Duggan is the kind of guy that didn’t need to do anything more than show up, talk about how hard he’ll fight and chant USA to get over. He was basically Hogan-Lite and he had a 30+ year career as a result. In short: he knew his place and didn’t try to be anything more, leading to success. Duggan is as pure of a good guy as you’ll find and he still worked even in his last days in WWE.

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It’s January (or it will be when you read this) and that means it’s time for the Road to Wrestlemania to begin. That road starts with the Royal Rumble, which has a very long history to it which we’re going to get into every day for the next 26 days before we hit the 2014 edition. We’ll start with a brief intro into the background of the show and how it got started before moving into the show itself.

So back in late 1987, the NWA was going to start airing PPVs of their own with the first one being Starrcade on Thanksgiving night. Vince, ever the ball buster, decided to air his own show on that night called the Survivor Series, saying that whoever didn’t air his show wouldn’t get to air Wrestlemania. Most of the cable companies bailed on Crockett (NWA owner for all intents and purposes) and aired Survivor Series, but they told Vince to NEVER do that again.

This is where Vince got crafty: he couldn’t air a PPV on the night that Crockett was running his next PPV (Bunkhouse Stampede, which is one of the DUMBEST and most screwed up shows ever for a ton of reasons, including not even being able to get the freaking start time right), but he could run a free TV show on that night. Therefore, he got an idea from one Pat Patterson about a battle royal with timed entrances and a card around it. The idea is the Royal Rumble, and there have been twenty five of them so far. Let’s get to it.

Royal Rumble 1988
Date: January 24, 1988
Location: Copps Coliseum, Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 18,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jesse Ventura

So as I said, this is the first of the Rumbles and it aired on live TV instead of on Pay Per View. The battle royal tonight is twenty men instead of thirty and we also have three other matches on the card on top of that. We also get a bench press demonstration from Dino Bravo (just go with it) and the contract signing for Hogan vs. Andre II at the first live Main Event which would happen in twelve days. In a KB related story, I would happen in about ten days. Let’s get to it.

Vince does the intro over what I thought was Rude’s music. Oh it was Rude’s music. No wonder they sounded alike.

Rick Rude vs. Ricky Steamboat

This should work well with a career face vs. a career heel. That’s another thing you never get anymore: matches for the sake of having a match. You know what? It could work today too. For the sake of simplicity, Rick will only be used for Rude and Ricky will only be used for Steamboat. Rude pounds away to start but Steamboat fires off chops in retaliation. Rude throws him over the top because he’s still new at this WWF thing. Steamboat skins the cat back in and throws Rude to the floor.

Steamboat does Rude’s pose and Rude complains of a pull of the tights. Back in and Rude wants a test of strength and Dragon, ever the slow one, accepts. Down goes Ricky but he finally hits a knee to the hand to break the grip, followed by a wicked spin out to take Rude to the mat. Steamboat cranks on the arm and does so for a good while. The crowd is pretty much quiet here, so we can hear the individual shouts from fans which give Vince and Jesse something to talk about.

Rude escapes but Steamboat chops him right back down and armdrags him down as only Ricky can do. An elbow puts Ricky down for a bit and Rick pounds away some more. Steamboat comes back with chops and another armdrag into an armbar. More slugging out occurs with chops vs. punches dominating the action. In something you don’t often see, Steamboat seems to botch a spot, resulting in him backing into a knee from Rude and falling (intentionally) to the floor.

Rick sends Steamboat back first into the apron and slams him down as Steamboat is in trouble. There’s a camel clutch by Rude as he finally has a body part to work on. Steamboat taps but that wouldn’t mean anything else for about six years. The referee checks the arm and they make a BIG error as Ricky lets his arm fall three times before stopping it on the fourth drop. Jesse FREAKS as only he can but the match just keeps going. Gotta love that live TV thing right?

Anyway Steamboat stands up and drops Rude on his back to put both guys down. It’s Steamboat up first but a splash hits knees. Back to the chinlock but Ricky makes the ropes and sends Rude into the buckle ten times. A chop to the face gets two and we hit the mat for some technical stuff and a pinfall reversal sequence. By that I mean about five pin attempts each and the crowd is waking up now. Ricky suplexes Rude down but Rude pulls the referee in the way of the cross body. Rude puts on the over the shoulder backbreaker (his move before the Rude Awakening) but it’s a DQ win for Steamboat.

Rating: C. The main issue here was the length. This runs about eighteen minutes and a lame ending didn’t help things either. At least you had two talented guys in there to make the match work a bit better. Still though, cut about five minutes off of this one and it’s WAY better all of a sudden. Steamboat would be gone in just a few months.

It’s time for the bench press lift record attempt. Dino Bravo is doing the lifting (in wrestling gear) and Jesse is spotting. Frenchy Martin, Dino’s manager, is here too. Dino presses 415 to start but first demands complete and utter silence. The 415lbs are easily lifted ten times. We’re going for over 700 by the end so this may take awhile. Next up is 505, which I believe is what Yokozuna weighed when he debuted. That one only goes up eight times as we’re at six minutes spent on this so far.

This time it’s going to be 555. Great this is going to take even more time now. Dino stops to yell at the fans a bit first and now we’re going to the lifting. This one gets about seven reps as this continues to take time. Now it’s 595. They keep talking about a world record, even though there’s no official there to confirm this is happening or anything like that. Wait let’s yell at the fans some more before he lifts it three times. We’re at ten minutes now.

Jesse yells at McMahon a bit and Bravo takes forever to do 655. Gene doing the used car salesman selling of this segment helps a bit due to how over the top and ridiculous it is. Now they go for 715, but the record would be unofficial because the bar will have to be weighed later. We stop to yell at the fans of course first though and storms off. As Bravo goes to finish, Ventura reaches down and pulls the bar up. Yep, that’s the actual payoff of over fifteen minutes of this nonsense.

Women’s Tag Titles: Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls

These are real titles (held by the Glamour Girls at this point) which have perhaps the most confusing history ever, as the belts were literally bought and sold between two wrestling companies. Anyway, they’re here now and the Angels (Tateno and Yamazaki) beat the Glamour Girls (Judy Martin and Lelani Kai) in the finals of the Survivor Series match which basically set this up. This is also 2/3 falls.

I’m not entirely sure which is which on both teams but Vince doesn’t even know the names of the Angels at all until someone tells him later on. The Angels immediately charge at the Girls and hit stereo dropkicks to take over. For those of you unfamiliar with the Angels, basically imagine the Hardys before they became poster children for what drugs can do to you but with long hair and wearing one piece female swimsuits.

We start with Kai vs. Yamazaki (the one in pink. Got it) and a knee to the back from Martin gives the Girls control. Yamazaki Matrixes out of a cover and rolls Kai up for two. Off to Tateno for a kind of suplex out of a piledriver position for one. Jesse asks Vince the names of the Bomb Angels and Vince has NO idea. He suggests calling them pink and red. Yamazaki tries a cross body but it literally bounces off the shall we say rotund Martin.

Off to Kai again so Yamazaki knees her down before bring Tateno back in. Both Angels fire off forearms to take Kai down and there’s an Octopus Hold (a freaky kind of abdominal stretch from Japan) from Tateno. The Angels put on stereo figure fours before it gets down to just Tateno on Kai. There’s a legdrop between the legs ala Jeff Hardy but instead Tateno spreads her own legs to spread Kai’s into the splits as well.

Yamazaki hooks something like a Sharpshooter while being off to the side of Kai. That’s incredibly painful looking and I don’t think I’ve ever seen it otherwise. The Angels get in a tug of war over Kai with Martin losing the war. Martin makes a tag but it doesn’t count because her feet weren’t on the apron. There’s a rule you never see enforced. Not that it matters as there’s the regular tag anyway. Martin comes in and beats on Tateno a bit before hitting a falling backwards facedrop out of a powerbomb position for the first fall. Big Show called that the Alley Oop if it wasn’t clear.

Martin pounds on Tateno after the break but Tateno bridges out in the Matrix move from the mat. Martin misses a splash and there’s Yamazaki again. A middle rope clothesline puts Martin down for two as Vince knows the Angels’ names now. The Angels cause some heel miscommunication but Martin loads up the same move that won her the first fall. In a classic example of PSYCHOLOGY, Tateno rolls through it into a sunset flip for the second fall this time. See? She LEARNED over the course of the match. That shows thinking, which is psychology! It’s not that hard! She slipped a bit on the flip but I’ll forgive it this time.

The third fall begins with a double clothesline from the Angels for two on Kai but Lelani pounds away on her in retaliation. Off to Martin who blocks a fisherman’s suplex and escapes a backslide out of the corner. A slingshot sends Yamazaki into the wrong corner and double teaming gets two on her.

Off to Tateno who is thrown around even more than Yamazaki was. Tateno comes back with a pair of release atomic drops minus the knees and it’s off to Yamazaki for a top rope knee for two. A double underhook suplex gets two on Kai but a senton backsplash misses for Tateno. With Kai trying to get in, the Angels hit stereo missile dropkicks on Martin for the pin and the titles.

Rating: B. For the late 80s and women’s wrestling, this was off the charts. The Angels are every bit as good as any male cruiserweight not named Mysterio you’ll ever see and when they’re against people like the Girls, their skills are shown off even better. This was beyond state of the art for this time period and is still amazing today. Check these chicks out and you won’t be disappointed.

We recap Hogan vs. Andre at Wrestlemania by getting the opening minute or so which saw Hogan trying the slam and Andre getting a “controversial” two count. Andre wants a rematch and has been sold to DiBiase, who wants to buy the world title. Andre showed how evil he was by attacking Hogan on SNME and easily choking him down, setting up the rematch in about two weeks and a match which drew an INSANE 15 rating on LIVE national TV on NBC. Today Vince would lose his mind at a 5 on cable, so this was unthinkable back then.

Oh and now we get the contract signing between Andre and Hogan on tonight’s show for the match on February 5 in Indianapolis. DiBiase is here too as Jesse points out how stupid the fans are for cheering for a song called Real American here in Canada. Even Jack Tunney is here. For those of you unfamiliar, picture Johnny Ace if he wasn’t dripping with charisma.

Gene actually calls Andre Mr. Roussimoff here, which you NEVER hear on WWF TV. Andre won’t sit down and then he won’t sign. Hogan signs but Andre wants to read the whole thing first. One thing to note: Gene has probably said the date of the match about ten times. It’s so simple yet so effective. Andre signs and beats up Hogan for fun to end this after a LONG time.

Jesse and Vince talk about the Rumble and say that if you go over the top, it doesn’t matter where your feet touch because you’re out. I’m assuming that means you have to hit the floor but it’s not exactly clear.

Royal Rumble

Okerlund explains the rules and the intervals are every two minutes here. If you don’t know the Rumble rules, you have no business reading this. It’s a battle royal, people come in every two minutes, there are 20 people in it (this year only) last man standing wins. #1 is Bret Hart and #2 is Tito Santana, and wouldn’t you know it their tag teams are feuding right now. I mean what are the odds?

They slug it out to start with no one having any kind of advantage. Bret finally takes him down and heads towards the rope as Butch Reed comes in at #3. This is a different kind of Rumble as heels don’t fight heels and faces don’t fight faces yet. They just kind of work together as you would expect them to. Tito is almost thrown out by Reed but he escapes and beats on both heels for a bit.

It’s Neidhart in at #4 as not a ton is happening so far in this match. This leaves Santana more or less down 3-1 and everyone pounds away on him. The clock is pretty lenient so far as there’s no way they’re going two minutes between each of these entrants. We get some slow triple teaming and after a choke on the ropes, here’s Jake Roberts in at #5 to quickly toss out Reed. We’ve got Roberts/Santana vs. the Hart Foundation which is quite the tag match when you think about it.

The Harts get beaten down and then thrown into each other but Neidhart breaks up the DDT. Bret piledrives Santana down and Harley Race is in at #6. The crowd is staying way into this which is a good sign for the future. Things kind of slow down a bit as the faces and heels beat on each other for a little while. Here’s Jim Brunzell at #7 to make it a six man tag for all intents and purposes.

Roberts goes EVIL by pulling on Neidhart’s beard. Only Reed has been eliminated so far. The good guys are in control at the moment with Race almost being thrown out. Here’s Sam Houston, Jake’s real life half brother, coming in at #8 to beat on everyone in sight. Well every heel at least. The Harts finally get together and throw out Santana to get us down to six people in the ring.

After about 90 seconds, here’s Danny Davis at #9. To be fair he’s barely a jobber so it’s not like this is going to give the heels any significant advantage. Oh wait he’s fighting Sam Houston so yeah, the heels are in control. Race gets caught in the ropes and Jake keeps knocking him back and forth in a funny bit. Davis tries to kick Jake and gets his leg caught, followed by a suplex from Roberts.

Danny escapes a DDT as we get Boris Zhukov at #10, maybe 80 seconds after Davis came in. Things continue to go slow as we’re trying to build up to a regular battle royal. Race goes after Boris in the first instance of heel vs. heel in this match. Race and Hart double team Brunzell for a bit as this continues to be slow. Don Muraco comes out as #11 but Nikolai Volkoff follows him out, apparently thinking he’s #11. Now there’s a story you don’t see that often but which could work.

Brunzell puts out Zhukov and apparently Nikolai is going to be #12 in a few moments. After way too long of nothing happening, Nikolai is officially #12. Brunzell is put to the apron but gets back in just as Race is eliminated by Muraco. We’ve got eight in there at the moment, which would be Hart, Neidhart, Roberts, Brunzell, Houston, Davis, Muraco and Volkoff. Race won’t leave ringside so as Duggan comes out at #13, he beats Race up on the way. This would lead to one of those so ridiculous it’s hilarious moments at the Slammys.

Duggan goes right after Neidhart because HE wants to be the Jim in this match. The place is way into him too so the crowd reaction is good. After maybe a minute here’s Ron Bass at #14. Volkoff dumps Brunzell as Jake and Neidhart collide. The clock gets even shorter as B. Brian Blair is #15. There are way too many people in the ring now. Everyone fights everyone as Hillbilly Jim is #16, and the fourth person in this match named Jim. He also dumps out Jim Neidhart to empty the ring a tiny bit.

Dino Bravo is #17 as Bass dumps Houston. Back to slow motion mode with everyone pounding on people near the ropes without really doing much. Ultimate Warrior (doesn’t mean anything yet) is #18 and Bret is FINALLY put out by Don Muraco. I timed this next one, and the One Man Gang comes out at #19, 53 seconds after Warrior. They’re not even trying here. Gang immediately pounds on Roberts so Warrior jumps on the big man’s back. This is WAY before he would have been able to slam him anyway.

Gang dumps Blair and Roberts in about ten seconds, which is the best thing that could happen in this match. The Junkyard Dog is #20, giving us a final group of Davis, Volkoff, Muraco, Bass, Hillbilly Jim, Dino Bravo, Ultimate Warrior, Gang, Duggan and Dog. Hillbilly and Gang hammer on each other as Duggan puts Volkoff out. Gang tosses Hillbilly as Bravo and Davis double team Duggan. This ends badly for Davis as Duggan dumps him to a BIG pop.

Bravo and Gang dump the Warrior as we’re down to six pretty quickly. Bass jumps the Dog and tosses him to get us down to five. Muraco dumps Bass and we have a final four of Muraco, Gang, Duggan and Bravo. Gang splashes Duggan in the corner, leaving Muraco to have to fight off both guys. He even takes Frenchy Martin down with a dropkick, only to have Gang clothesline him out to get us down to three.

Jim gets double teamed for awhile and Bravo drops an elbow on him. The same clothesline sequence the heels tried earlier backfires and Bravo gets clotheslined out. Duggan pounds on Gang in a Mid-South reunion but a single shot from Gang takes him down. Gang beats on him next to the ropes, so Duggan low bridges him to win the first Royal Rumble.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches where the words “well, they tried” come to mind. That’s the best way to put this match: they didn’t really know what they were doing yet, but they tried. The lack of star power hurt this one as only Duggan and maybe Dog were big names here. It wouldn’t be until next year when the star power came into this and it became a main event thing. Still though, it’s certainly not a bad match and they would get better as time went on.

We recap (see? It even happened back then) the contract signing from earlier tonight.

Hogan is in the arena (in jeans, which is a weird image for some reason) and says that he wants Andre. Standard hype interview for a big match but it’s Hogan in the late 80s so you know it’s awesome.

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Another 2/3 falls match here just to fill in the final part of the show. The Islanders have recently kidnapped Matilda and are recently back off suspension for returning the dog. Tama and Powers (It’s Haku/Tama vs. Jim Powers/Paul Roma) start things off and no one can get a real advantage in the early going. The Stallions beat on Tama a bit, with shots to the head for some reason, before it’s Haku in off the tag.

A cross body gets two for Roma and the Stallions work on the arm for awhile. Off to Tama who gets in like one shot before we cut to a camera angle from over the announcers shoulders. That’s a new one. Powers gets caught by a double headbutt and Haku hammers away on him some more. This continues to go nowhere so I think out of boredom it’s off to Roma vs. Tama.

Roma dropkicks Tama down but Haku low bridges Roma, sending him to the floor and injuring the knee. That’s good enough for a countout for the first fall and the Stallions take Roma to the dressing room to get his knee looked at. In other words, we need a reason to show the contract signing again and let Andre talk a bit. Just like Hogan, Andre doesn’t have much to say but it hypes up the Main Event.

Back to the match after the promo, the recap and a pair of breaks and it’s basically Powers in a handicap match now. You can see big gaps of seats where fans have left. For this one, I can’t say I blame them. Powers dropkicks him down and we hear about Giant-A-Mania from Jesse. Off to Tama who pounds away even more and kicks out of a small package at two. Tama’s jumping back elbow takes Powers down and it’s a little Samoan trash talk for good measure. Haku’s dropkick gets two and there’s a gutwrench suplex for two more.

It’s off to an abdominal stretch but Powers finally hiptosses out of it to get a breather. Haku misses a splash and things slow down again, but there’s no one for Powers to tag because of Roma’s knee injury. Roma finally tags himself in and Haku casually kicks the leg out to take over. Jesse wishes that was Vince’s knee because that’s the kind of guy he is. Tama puts on a half crab and the referee stops it.

Rating: D. This match is a victim of its spot on the card. The problem here is that everything else is done and this was the textbook definition of filler. It’s hard to care about something like this when there’s no story and no interest in this match, and on top of that it wasn’t even anything decent. This is one of those matches though where you can’t blame a lot of the problems on the wrestlers.

Jesse and Vince chat a bit about what we saw to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. There’s one major thing to keep in mind about this show: it was on free TV. On PPV, this would have been bad, but to be fair they had no idea what they were going for here so anything good, which a lot of stuff on here was, was a surprise. This was a decent entry into the show, but they did WAY better next year when they had an idea what they were doing. Good first effort though.

As I did with the last series of reviews, I’ll be comparing the new ratings to the original ones and posting a link to the original review.

Ratings Comparison

Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude

Original: C+

Redo: C

Jumping Bomb Angels vs. Glamour Girls

Original: B-

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: C-

Redo: C+

Islanders vs. Young Stallions

Original: C-

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C+

This show hasn’t changed much other than a few tweaks here and there.

Here’s the original review:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/08/royal-rumble-count-up-1988/

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Rodman Down Under
Date: July 30, 2000
Location: Sydney SuperDome, Sydney, Australia
Attendance: 10,000
Commentators: Vince Mancini, Ted DiBiase

Why does Youtube have to torment me like this? This is a one off PPV from a tour of Australia that a bunch of old guys (and Dennis Rodman for no apparent reason) put together for a quick buck. The organization is called i-Generation Superstars of Wrestling for whatever reason they came up with. Let’s get to it.

The opening video shows Rodman jumping Hennig over and over, making him the heel for the main event. I’m as shocked as you are.

The production values aren’t bad at all as the show is well lit and there’s a pretty good crowd.

Ted and Vince run down the card and tell us the main event is an Australian Outback match, which likely means hardcore.

Here’s Hennig to open the show by talking. He talks about Rodman leaving the basketball court to come into the wrestling world where all Hennig has to do is show up. Hennig wants to fight Rodman RIGHT NOW but Rodman is still in street clothes. Dennis talks about how awesome he is and how he’s going to beat Hennig and can I get my money back for this nonsense? Hennig starts a Dennis Sucks chant but Rodman says they’re here to see him….and that’s it. This is already a waste of my time.

Public Enemy attacked the Road Warriors at a press conference. Good to know.

Tag Titles: Public Enemy vs. Road Warriors

Public Enemy is defending and this is a tables match for no reason whatsoever. Before anyone complains, yes I know Public Enemy does a lot of tables stuff, but there’s no story point to this being a tables match. There’s no story period but that’s to be expected. Public Enemy wants the fans to shut up during the match or Grunge will beat them all up. It’s going to be a night of cheap heat isn’t it? The Warriors’ stomachs are literally hanging over their tights in a sign of the times.

Rocco jumps Animal to start but the Warrior comes back with some lame clotheslines. Grunge comes in and is knocked to the floor seconds later as the announcers make fun of him for being out of shape. Hawk comes in to pound away and hits the flying shoulder to put Grunge down. These guys are really looking their age out there and it’s pretty sad to see. Back to Rocco who is slammed off the top and caught in a powerslam for two. Wait isn’t this a tables match?

Back to Animal vs. Grunge with Johnny clotheslining him out to the floor. Rock whips Animal into the barricade and hits him with the lethal bottle of water to the head. Public Enemy pounds him down in the corner but Rock misses a running crotch attack at the ropes. Grunge breaks up the hot tag attempt and Rocco goes up as this match is still in slow motion. Rocco jumps into a boot to the face and we finally get the hot tag to Hawk.

He takes both Enemies down with some lame neckbreakers before missing the top rope clothesline to a downed Grunge. Everything breaks down and Hawk is laid out on a table for the flip dive from Rocco….which doesn’t end the match. Rock is confused so he tries again on another table but drives himself through it instead. Animal hits a horrible shoulder to Grunge in the ring but Rock pops him with a chair. We get a table in the corner now and a spear/shoulder from Animal sends both Enemies through it for the titles.

Rating: D-. This is only above a failure because I love the LOD (Legion of Doom, meaning the Road Warriors for you young pups). It was sad to see these teams looking so old and out of shape but the rules made it even worse. They went back and forth between pins and tables with the table on the floor not counting. I’m assuming it’s because it wasn’t in the ring but the announcers nor the referee ever told us that.

Here are the I-Generettes to fill in time on an hour and forty five minute show.

Barbarian vs. Brute Force

Force is Brutus Beefcake and this is a hardcore match for no apparent reason. Brutus pulls Barbarian away from posing for a trashcan shot to start things off. Some broomstick choking has Barbarian down in the corner but a low blow stops Force’s force. Yeah I know that was bad but this show is dumbing me down and we’re not even half an hour into it. A headbutt low gets Barbarian yelled at for no reason but a trashcan to the head is fine. The announcers talk about a popcorn machine as Barbarian stomps him down in the corner. I could go for a hot snack to keep me awake too.

We head to the floor with Barbarian being rammed into the table and hit with the trashcan again. Barbarian fights from his back with trashcan lid shots but has to avoid a shot with the steps. Back in and Brutus is hit with a 2×4 and punched in the head a lot. Some choking with a chain does no good for Barbarian as Brutus comes back with an atomic drop and a low headbutt. A Stunner, a DDT and a piledriver get two each for Brutus but a single kick to the chest/ribs is good for the pin for Barbarian.

Rating: D-. This is a good example of the problem with gimmick matches: there’s no reason for this to be a hardcore match so it’s just two people hitting each other with trashcans for ten minutes. That doesn’t make for an interesting match but rather a boring waste of time until we get to a very stupid finish that made Barbarian of all people look tough instead of the hero.

More from the dancers.

Brandi Wine vs. Sweet Destiny

I’ve never heard of either chick and from what I can find they have about five career matches between the two of them. Wine has Fred Ottman (Tugboat) with him here under the name of Sugar Daddy for no apparent reason. Wouldn’t Sugar Daddy make more sense for the chick named Sweet? Instead Destiny has some boxer named Aussie Joe Martin as her second. Neither chick looks that good but Destiny is the face. She’s also the hips and stomach but I guess the dancers are all the skinny non-wrestlers the company could afford. Think a slightly chunkier Nidia.

Feeling out process to start which turns into a bad dance off. They seem to be avoiding contact due to a lack of talent. Destiny takes her down with a decent throw but is sent into the buckle very slowly. A catapult sends Destiny into the corner again as these girls are making the Bellas look like Trish and Lita. Brandi poses a lot and drags her down by the hair a few times. Bad choking ensues as this match just keeps going. A clothesline puts Destiny on the floor and Brandi rams her into the table a few times.

Wine poses a lot to further drag out the match time. How can a show have five matches and need to fill in this much on a card? A pinfall reversal sequence gets a few near falls each until Sugar Daddy trips up Destiny. Sugar Daddy and Aussie Joe (who is old and in a referee shirt for some reason) get in a fight with Joe dropping him with one right hand. Destiny gets two off a good German suplex but gets slammed off the top. Brandi goes up as well and gets superplexed down for the pin.

Rating: D. Somehow this was the match of the night so far. It wasn’t good in the slightest but they were trying and I’ve seen FAR worse female matches before. On the other hand, these girls looked lost out there at times, which makes you wonder why they got nearly fifteen minutes to work with. Nothing to see here at all, especially when you had Trish Stratus at the peak of her hotness in the WWF at this point.

Hey look: more dancing!

Australasian Title: One Man Gang vs. Tatanka

Yes seriously. Tatanka is defending and is the face, but wouldn’t you think he would be a heel for being so proud of being from another country? The Gang thanks the fans for their support but wants the women to wash their underwear before they throw them to him. Gang looks so old it’s unreal. He pounds away in the corner to start and gets two off a clothesline. Tatanka comes back with kicks and chops as this is somehow less interesting than the girls.

Gang is sent to the floor and complains about how bad he smells. He takes a walk up the aisle and after nearly a minute the fans fill the ring with trash. Back in and they trade wristlocks with Gang pounding down into the shoulder. Tatanka comes back with shots to Gang’s shoulder as well and a chop to the head for two. A nearly botched cross body gets two more for Tatanka but Gang hits one of his own for two. Tatanka works the leg for a bit as this is already going longer than it should.

Gang kicks him to the floor but gets caught in a sunset flip for two. The big man slowly drops knees as I go read Gone with the Wind to fill in the time. Off to a nerve hold until Gang drives some shoulders into Tatanka’s ribs. Gang misses a running charge in the corner but Tatanka charges into a boot in the corner. A big fat legdrop makes me wish I was watching a Yokozuna match but Tatanka avoids a second one. I’m assuming he does as the camera was on fans in NWO shirts.

Tatanka makes his comeback and a chop to the head gets two. He rams Gang’s head into the buckle but the referee is crushed off a whip. Gang is slammed off the top and chopped in the head but there’s no referee. The fat man loads up some brass knuckles and knocks out the Indian for the pin and the title after nearly TWENTY MINUTES.

Rating: F+. I’ll give Gang credit here: he was trying. He was playing to the crowd and actually moving a bit out there which is more than you can say for most of the wrestlers tonight. The match was WAY too long though and on a show already this bad there’s no reason for it to go this long. Did they only have twelve people for the show or something?

Remember those dancing girls who have done the same dance three times already? Well here’s a fourth edition.

We recap Rodman vs. Hennig with the same videos from earlier.

I-Generation World Title: Dennis Rodman vs. Curt Hennig

Hennig is defending and this is an Australian Outback match, which I think means street fight. Rodman jumps him to start and hits Hennig in the head with the belt. Curt is busted open so Rodman pounds away at the cut. We head to the floor with Hennig being rammed into the table. Curt finds a broomstick and pounds Rodman in the ribs before throwing him over the announce table. Rodman is rammed through the table and Hennig is ticked off.

Hennig pounds away on the floor before heading back inside for more stomping. This is already boring as Rodman can’t do anything but brawling so there isn’t much to see. Rodman hits him low and knocks Curt to the floor, only to have the champion come back with chops. Back in for more chopping but Rodman headbutts the referee for no apparent reason. They slug it out a bit more and Rodman throws the referee down for a DQ, making me wonder what an Australian Outback match is.

Rating: D-. Hennig looked good but there’s a reason Rodman is a basketball player: he doesn’t have much skill as a wrestler. This was yet another garbage brawl with nothing to see from Rodman. Curt could have had a good match with an actual wrestler, but that might be interesting so we can’t have that.

Rodman and Hennig keep brawling after the match but Brute Force (in a freaking zebra stripe suit) breaks it up.

Hennig is checked in the back and says it’s not over with Rodman.

A four minute highlight package and credits end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Well that was horrible but I can’t say it’s in Heroes of Wrestling territory. For one thing that show was nearly an hour longer and had some of the most embarrassing “wrestling” you’ll ever see. This was terrible stuff too but it wasn’t dragging the business down to never before seen lows. At the end of the day, this was only an hour and forty minutes with nearly twenty of that being spent on dancing or video packages. It’s terrible but it’s not the worst show of all time by a decent stretch.

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NWA Central States TV
Date: March 17, 1984
Location: Memorial Hall, Kansas City, Kansas
Commentators: Kevin Walters, Bill Morris

This is one of the NWA’s big territories from back in the day, but at this point it’s fallen on some hard times due to Vince’s nationwide plans. Harley Race was the big star but I think he’s moved into a management role by this point. I have no real idea what to expect here so I don’t have much else to say. Let’s get to it.

The show is called All Star Wrestling. Ok then. I’m sticking with Central States TV.

The announcers run down the card tonight. I only know a handful of these names.

Tommy Rogers vs. Scott Ferris

I’m assuming that’s the same Rogers from the Fantastics. He has a beard so it’s kind of hard to tell. Ferris is from Oregon and is the heel here. Very basic match here and the camera angle is taking some getting used to. It’s between the top and middle rope for the most part. Ferris is the bigger guy and the veteran here. He likes to drop knees it seems. Time for a bearhug because it’s the 80s. A belly to belly gets two. Scott works on the back but Rogers makes a very weak comeback. He walks into a hot shot though and a splash ends this with Ferris getting the very slow pin.

Rating: D. By today’s standards this was pretty boring and I don’t think it was all that great back then either. Ferris is a guy I’ve never really heard of but then again this is a territory so that has to be expected with a lot of them. This was really just a somewhat longer than usual squash, but Rogers would get a lot better.

Frank Leopard vs. One Man Gang

Gang is pretty new here and this is from a different area. Gordon Solie is on commentary. This is total dominance and for some reason we’re talking about Dusty Rhodes. I’d assume this is from Florida. It’s mentioned that Gang and Ron Bass are US Tag Champions so that puts this somewhere from late December of 83 to mid January of 84 in Florida. A splash ends this total squash.

Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin says he’s coming to St. Louis. He talks about an upcoming match with Chris Adams.

Tiger Mask vs. TG Stone

This is joined in progress. Stone gets knocked backwards and rolled up for two. Stone stomps away and is definitely the heel here. Tiger tries to use speed but Stone is an evil cheater who does bad things. Off to a chinlock and Stone pounds away. Most of this is just Stone pounding away on Tiger Mask. I’m assuming this is Tiger Mask I. That chinlockery continues, this time with a knee in the back.

A backdrop and a kneedrop combine to get one. Tiger Mask gets up and Hulks Up. Things get a little sloppy now as it seems like they go into a totally different match. Tiger gets up and things kind of stumble around into Stone taking him down. The masked one comes back and hits a backdrop and middle rope punch for two. A cross body gets two. Some punches and elbow drops get the same. A dropkick puts Stone down and it’s a time limit draw.

Rating: F. This was more about these two just not clicking at all. Tiger Mask is very good but he had nothing to work with here. Like I said, there’s only so much you can do in territories like these. You have guys like Stone who isn’t anything of note but he filled in a spot on a card. Bad chemistry abounded here.

Video on Bruce Reed, who is far more famous as Butch Reed. It’s a music video and all it really says is that Reed is awesome and strong. There are a LOT of shoulder blocks in this. This goes on WAY too long, as in like 5 minutes.

Chris Adams offers a rebuttal to Garvin. He’s British and from World Class where he had a long feud with Jimmy Garvin. They both had women involved. He also had two big contributions to American wrestling: he was the first big named guy to use a superkick, and he trained Steve Austin.

Wahoo McDaniel says he’s ready for his match with Harley Race for the Missouri Heavyweight Title, which was a big time title in those days.

Grapplers vs. Ted Oates

This is No DQ. The Grapplers are masked guys and Oates’ partner, Ron Richie, isn’t here yet so we’re starting with a handicap match. We’ll say that’s Grappler #1 to start. Oates fights them both off and the Grapplers regroup. We’ll say that’s #2 in there now. You really can’t tell them apart so there’s no point in trying to tell which is which. Oates hammers him down so it’s off to #1. The Grapplers run again as this has been one sided so far.

The Grapplers switch but the referee (the same one in all of the matches so far) catches him because of something about their boots. So the Grapplers tag and #1, the one that tried to cheat, comes in anyway. Oates nips up but finally gets in trouble due to the numbers advantage. The Grapplers start double teaming and here’s Bulldog Bob Brown to be Oates’ partner.

Brown tries to come in but gets shoved out for fear of a stern lecture I suppose. The Grapplers work over the leg with a spinning toe hold. Oates has finally seen Brown but #2 comes in and tries the same hold for awhile. Oates gets in a knee lift to #1 and makes the tag. Brown cleans house and wins very quickly with a belly to back suplex.

Rating: C-. Pretty basic tag match here once it got to the end. I’m not sure what the point of it was but I can’t hold that against it as I don’t know what the story was to it. Not a bad match or anything and the idea of having Oates desperately needing a tag worked well enough. Not bad and definitely the match of the show.

Brown and Oates take the Grappler down and try to find out if his boot is loaded. The other Grappler comes back and the boot goes upside Oates’ head to bust him open.

Post break Oates and Brown say they won.

Overall Rating: D. Like I said in the rating for the previous match, I’d have probably liked this a lot better if I had known some of the stories going into it. The stuff with the promos was good and I’d like of like to see some of those matches. The best way to describe this show is that the stuff that was good was good and the stuff that was bad was bad. Not the worst I’ve ever seen but it wasn’t anything great.

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