One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part IV
Date: December 8, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

Thank goodness it ends here. This is the final piece of the four part series of Jeff Jarrett’s failed attempt to launch his own promotion (the second time that is). Impact then released the TV tapings as a series of four events so that is what we have here, with the final four shows and a bunch of champions being crowned. Let’s get to it.

The opening video gives us a rapid fire look at what is left in the tournaments.

Commentary chatters and previews the show.

Seiya Sanda is ready to become #1 contender to the X-Division Title.

Sonjay Dutt is ready to become #1 contender to the X-Division Title.

Sonjay Dutt vs. Seiya Sanada

The winner gets a Nex Gen Title shot at some point in the future. Dutt bows to Sanada to start and we get a nice handshake. They go to the mat to start and it’s an early standoff. Dutt works on the arm as we hear about Sanada being part of the Bullet Club. Back up and Dutt hurricanranas him to the floor, setting up a headscissors to take him down again. A slingshot legdrop gives Dutt two and a backsplash is good for the same. The Octopus hold goes on with Dutt working on the hand to be a little more evil. Sonnen: “Sanada looks as Asian as Scott Hall does Cuban. I think it’s an angle.”

Sanada springboards in with a chop to the head, which we see three times for some reason. A TKO gives Sanada two but the moonsault misses. Instead Sanada grabs a bridging German suplex for two more but Dutt stacks up la majistral for his own two. There’s a running shooting star press for two more on Sanada and a running tornado DDT. A top rope splash gives Dutt the pin at 8:47.

Rating: C. This is a good example of what was wrong with GFW: there was little to the story and the action was completely average. The match was a perfect example of something that came and went with a few decent spots but I won’t remember it by the end of the show. It was very basic, by the book professional wrestling, but it has no staying power whatsoever.

Respect is shown post match.

Brian Myers is upset by his recent loss but he isn’t done.

Masked Saint vs. Juicy Joey

Saint is rather skinny and a tie in to a movie of the same name and apparently the grandson of the real version. Joey (Ryan of course) takes him into the corner to start but Saint is back with a clothesline into a headlock. A shoulder runs Saint over but Joey gets hiptossed out to the floor. Back in and Joey runs him over again, setting up the signature pose on the rope. Saint is back with a DDT for two but Joey knocks him down without much trouble. The chinlock goes on for a bit, only to have Saint pop up with a dropkick. A high crossbody finishes Joey at 5:10.

Rating: D+. It is pretty clear that Saint is very new at wrestling, as his offense was rather entry level. Then again, this felt like little more than a way to hype up the movie and that is acceptable enough. It isn’t like Joey Ryan is going to be hurt by taking a loss on a show like this, so just give the movie some press and move on.

Nick Aldis is ready to beat Bobby Roode and be the World Champion.

Chael Sonnen talks about training fellow MMA fighter Phil Baroni and calling him out during an appearance on a previous show. Baroni jumped the barricade and a match seems to be imminent.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Whirlwind Gentlemen vs. Bollywood Boyz

The Gentlemen are Jack Manley/Remy Marcel while the Boyz are Gurv/Harv. The Boyz are better known as the Singh Brothers in WWE, which commentary points out for us. Harv and Manley start things off and a shoulder means it’s time for the Bollywood dancing. An armdrag into an armbar lets Gurv come in with an ax handle to the arm.

Gurv gets sent outside for a slam onto the apron and it’s time for the Gentlemen to work on the arm. The chinlock goes on for a bit, followed by more stomping to keep Gurv down. Back up and Manley is sent into Marcel, allowing the tag back to Harv. Everything breaks down and a double neckbreaker takes Remy down. The Bollywood Blast finishes Marcel at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Another “just a match” match here and that doesn’t exactly surprise me. The wrestling has not been the strong suit on this wrestling show and that is quite the issue to get around. They had two teams in a match here and the good guys won to get a title shot against more villains. I’m not sure what else you should have expected here.

Post match the celebration is on but Christina Von Eerie runs in to jump the Boyz’s dancers. Reno Scum comes in to jump the Boyz but Amber Gallows (facing Von Eerie for the Women’s Title) runs in for the save.

Video on the Women’s Title match.

We start the second episode with a look at the Women’s Title match.

Christopher Mordetzky (Chris Masters), with his advocate Stu Stone (I think?) arrives with a bouquet of flowers.

Cielo Escorpion wants the Nex Gen Title.

Enigma wants the Nex Gen Title.

Bestia 666 wants the Nex Gen Title.

Enigma vs. Bestia 666 vs. Cielo Escorpion

Enigma is better known as Venum Black Jr. and wrestled around Mexico for a few years. Escorpion is Scorpio Sky under a mask. Bestia decks both of them to start and we’re already in the triple headlock. Escorpion is sent outside, leaving Enigma to hit a rather speedy headscissors on Bestia. Back in and Escorpion gets springboard armdragged outside, allowing Enigma to hit a flipping suicide dive. Enigma gets back inside where Bestia gives him a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by a superkick into a standing moonsault for two on Escorpion.

Enigma is back in with a Code Red (not a Destroyer) for two on Bestia but Escorpion is back up with a jumping knee to the face. Escorpion’s big flip dive takes Bestia out again as we hear about WCW’s cruiserweight division. Bestia pops back up and drops Enigma, setting up a kneeling Musclebuster for two on Escorpion. Back up and Enigma grabs a satellite DDT on Bestia, followed by a running sunset flip (Fees: “I don’t even know what to call that!” It’s a running sunset flip.) for the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C+. This was mainly a bunch of spots and it worked out well enough, though the short time frame might have helped things. You could tell that Enigma was going to be the focal point of the match from the opening bell, which may or may not have been the best thing. It did what it needed to do, but it still fees like “hey we have a lucha/X-Division/Nex Gen match!” for no reason other than saying they have one on the show.

Here is Chael Sonnen for a chat, because he is tired of waiting on Jeff Jarrett. The Global Title is in the middle of the ring and in two weeks, these men will face off for the title. Cue Bobby Roode and Nick Aldis, with Roode now holding the TNA King Of The Mountain Title. Roode talks about all of the success that he has had elsewhere and brags about the title already on his shoulder.

The only thing standing between himself and the GFW Global Title is Aldis so now Roode has one obstacle left. Once he wins it, he is off to Nashville for a big celebration…or maybe he’ll just burn it in a trashcan. Aldis says Roode mentioned not wanting to be here, yet he is here anyway. That means he wants to be here but Roode is hedging his bets with TNA. Roode wants to roll the dice and see what happens but Aldis is here to win the title.

Cue Stu Stone and Christopher Mordetzky, with Stone saying they have been trying to get hold of Aldis. Nick doesn’t want to hear it, even when Stone makes a reference to Mickie James. Mordetzky has the flowers with him, with Roode saying Aldis should take them home to his wife and kid since he won’t be taking the title. Sonnen and Roode lay Aldis out. Nice enough segment to put some heat on the match, but Mordetzky is an energy killer.

We recap Christina Von Eerie vs. Amber Gallows for the Women’s Title. A lot of people like Gallows but Von Eerie has no compassion for or fear of her.

Women’s Title: Christina Von Eerie vs. Amber Gallows

For the inaugural title with Karen Jarrett here to present the belt. Von Eerie isn’t in for the Too Sweet so the brawl is on with Gallows spearing her down. The yet to be named YES Kicks into a running kick to the head have Von Eerie in even more trouble. Gallows gets kicked in the face as well though and Von Eerie takes her down to set up a kick to the back.

That doesn’t last long as Gallows is back up with a Russian legsweep and they head to the apron. A backdrop puts Von Eerie down onto the apron and then the floor, followed by a whip into the barricade for two. Back in and an Iconoclasm into a superkick gives Gallows two but the Amber Alert is broken up. The Dead Raising (cross arm Backstabber) gives Von Eerie the pin and the title at 6:34.

Rating: D+. I actually went back to make sure I had the time right because this was nothing. The match came and went with nothing to it and Von Eerie happened to win. They were certainly trying and the match wasn’t terrible, but what are you expecting from what is supposed to be some big match that doesn’t even get seven minutes?

We start the third episode with a look at the Tag Team Title match between Reno Scum and the Bollywood Boyz. They have both worked so hard to get here and now it is all about the titles. Points for focusing on the fact that they’re teams instead of a couple of people wrestling together.

Chael Sonnen rants about how Jeff Jarrett is screwing up the company (again) because Sonnen is a bigger star who draws more ratings and sells more tickets.

We look at how the Bollywood Boyz and Reno Scum made it to the finals.

Here are Jeff and Karen Jarrett for a chat. They are both very happy to be here and Jeff explains the four divisions (which really shouldn’t require an explanation) with the World Title being the main prize. Cue Chael Sonnen to say that he is responsible for all of this company’s success. He has been watching Jeff burn through so much of his family’s money that people are starting to call him Dixie.

Jeff says this isn’t the time or the place for Sonnen to ask for a match again but we’ll figure that out later. That’s not good enough for Sonnen but Karen says he means nothing around here. Sonnen says it’s amazing to see what $10,000 worth of silicone can get you. He isn’t here to talk to a woman, so he’ll talk to Kurt. Sonnen: “Sorry, I mean Jeff. If you want to fast forward to 2017, I can just call you Chael.”

Sonnen wants to see what Karen has and gets slapped in the face. With that out of the way, Sonnen says he’ll fight Phil Baroni and wrestle anyone. If he has to, he’ll go to the graveyard and dance on Jeff’s dad’s grave. I mean, that might be hard as Jerry Jarrett is still alive but Sonnen is the best talker around here so it’s hard to complain.

Video on the Tag Team Title match as the total filler on this episode continues.

Reno Scum talks about getting called to come into GFW and knowing it was their chance to win a real Tag Team Title.

The Bollywood Boyz talk about wrestling in Canada for years and finally getting their chance to make it elsewhere. Their father came from a part of India where you don’t have electricity after 6pm and now they want to make something better for their family. That’s a nice statement.

Back to Reno Scum, they want to make their families proud.

The Boyz are undersized and are ready to show what they are all about and what they can do.

Both teams talk about training/their diets as this video is still going. Scum says the Boyz have big hearts but people with big hearts die early deaths. Wow.

This whole thing went on over ten minutes and might as well have had a big FILLER flashing sign over it. Some of the stuff was fine if not good, but cut this WAY down.

Tag Team Titles: Reno Scum vs. Bollywood Boyz

For the inaugural titles with Jeff Jarrett there to present the belts. Christina Von Eerie is here with Scum and the Boyz have their Bollywood dancers. The brawl is on before the bell with the Boyz clearing the ring in a hurry. That means it’s time for the dives but Luster the Legend pulls Harv into a Texas Cloverleaf.

The fans are behind the home state Scum but Harv dropkicks Gurv in the back to break up a slam. A buckle bomb plants Harv though and Adam Thornstowe sends him into the corner for two. The chinlock goes on for a bit until Harv manages to get in his half of a double clothesline to put them both down. Gurv comes in for a spinwheel kick and a near fall on Thornstowe and it’s the Bollywood Blast for the same. A double superkick puts Luster on the floor but Harv’s dive only hits barricade.

Back in and Thornstowe’s Alberto double stomp gets two on Gurv. Harv is tied in the Tree of Woe and Gurv hits a running Razor’s Edge to knock them both silly. That doesn’t last long though as Luster is sent outside, leaving Thornstowe to eat a double superkick. A missile dropkick into a top rope elbow finishes Luster to give the Boyz the titles at 9:50.

Rating: C. Another match which was fine enough but has no impact other than getting to say the Boyz are the first champions. The Boyz going over is fine for a feel good moment and their (lengthy) video talking about wanting to make things better for their family was great, but they can’t get more than ten minutes?

Respect is shown post match.

We start the fourth episode looking at the Global Title match. Bobby Roode and Nick Aldis are both awesome and ready to go from different parts of the world. This is going to be another talking heavy show isn’t it?

Commentary welcomes us to the show and of course Sonnen is wearing the Global Title.

We recap how Aldis and Roode made the tournament finals.

Both guys arrived earlier.

We go to the hype video on the main event, talking about how important it is to be the champion. Fans are inspired by the champion and for the most part, it is only a dream for the wrestlers. Mick Foley pops in to say Bobby Roode is underrated and Jeff Jarrett is amazed that Roode is from another promotion but came here for the tournament.

We talk about Roode’s development and how he has moved up from a tag team guy to a main eventer.

Aldis knows Roode is good.

With that video done, we look at another video on how they got here. Now I know we already did this, but here’s a DETAILED look at their earlier matches. This includes Chris Mordetzky talking about going to see Mickie James, which was too far for Aldis. Then Aldis had to deal with Chael Sonnen, which didn’t go very far.

Foley still likes Roode’s chances.

Roode isn’t sure what he’ll do with the title when he wins.

After TWENTY MINUTES of hype videos, we’re ready to go. Remember that this was supposed to be an hour long TV show too, meaning this would probably have been over half of the show.

GFW Global Title: Bobby Roode vs. Nick Aldis

For the inaugural title and Jeff Jarrett is here to present the belt again. They go with the feeling out process to start as Sonnen keeps ripping on Jeff and Fees. Aldis takes him down without much trouble but the threat of the Spine Shaker (modified belly to back suplex) sends Roode outside.

Back in and Roode sends him into the corner and starts in on the arm. Roode drops some knees on the arm and the seated armbar goes on. Aldis breaks up a superplex attempt though and drops a top rope elbow for two. Roode is right back with the top rope Blockbuster for the same but Aldis catches him in a suplex for another near fall. The King’s Lynn Cloverleaf has Roode in more trouble until a rope is grabbed.

Roode is back with an enziguri into a Backstabber for his own two so it’s time to bring in the belt. That means the referee gets bumped and it’s a low blow into a belt shot to drop Aldis. The very delayed count gets two but the Roode Bomb is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Crossface on Aldis’ bad arm. That’s broken up as well and Aldis sends him into the corner, setting up the Spine Shaker for the pin and the title at 10:18.

Rating: C+. That’s almost out of pity, as it’s the longest match of the show and that’s hardly worth mentioning. The match was fine enough for a quick TV match but for the first World Champion? Much like with the Boyz winning the Tag Team Titles, it’s cool to see a champion crowned but it isn’t like this felt important or anything. The fans were dead and commentary didn’t really make it seem special, leaving it down to the wrestlers. They did what they could, but how epic is a ten minute match going to be most of the time?

Post match Jeff Jarrett presents Aldis with the title but here are Stu Stone and Chris Mordetzky for the brawl. Mordetzky hits him with the flowers, which had a lead pipe included. Kongo Kong joins in on the beatdown, with Aldis being left bloody. Jeff Jarrett comes in for the save and gets Masterlocked. The beatdown is on and Mordetzky lays the title onto Jeff to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. That’s the end of Amped and it couldn’t come faster. This wasn’t so much a bad show as much as uninteresting it was. It felt like they were just going through the motions and trying to check boxes off a list of things they needed to do here. None of the matches were memorable, the fans didn’t care, and the best person on the show was the heel commentator.

I’m not sure who would want to watch this as a weekly series as I could barely tell you what happened in the four episodes I just watched, let alone the first twelve. Amped was little more than Jeff Jarrett trying to do something TNA like again but without the talent or effort that TNA had. The matches could have been far worse, but they couldn’t have been much less interesting if they tried. Really boring show and thankfully the end of Amped, which didn’t deserve a future after this.

 

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One Night Only: Clash In The Bluegrass
Date: March 2, 2019
Location: Davis Arena, Louisville, Kentucky
Commentators: Gilbert Corsey, Don Callis, Josh Matthews

I don’t usually do these shows but since I was in the audience, it might be appropriate this time around. The Davis Arena is the longtime home of Ohio Valley Wrestling and I’ve always wanted to go there for a show so it was a great surprise when it was announced that Impact was coming around for a One Night Only. Sami Callihan and OVE had been around for the last few weeks and even stole the OVW Title. This is a bunch of promotion vs. promotion matches so let’s get to it.

I was sitting in the last row with the hard camera on my right. Given that the arena might have held about 350 people (it’s a warehouse with a ring inside, which does offer some charm) so the last row is a perfectly good seat).

There was a meet and greet before the show with Eddie Edwards, Moose, Sami Callihan and Brian Cage, plus a bunch of the OVW wrestlers. Nothing of note, but for an extra ten dollars on top of the ten dollar ticket, you can’t exactly complain.

In a dark match, William Lutz defeated KTD. Yeah you might not have heard of a lot of these people but it was a short match and completely fine for two guys on their level.

We open with a look at Sami stealing the OVW Title from champion Tony Gunn. This set off a fight between OVE/various other Impact wrestlers and Team OVW, a group of five people thrown together with nothing significant in common. Fair enough for something like this.

Opening sequence, which is the OVW TV opening, thankfully including name graphics for the wrestlers.

The announcers give us a quick welcome with OVW commentator Gilbert Corsey getting a chant from the crowd.

Dimes vs. Sinn Bodhi

Yes his name is Dimes and Bodhi (better known as Kizarny) is a freaky guy and a big villain in OVW. After laying on the ropes, Bodhi picks Dimes up for an airplane spin at the bell. With the serious stuff not working, Bodhi pulls him face first into the back of his trunks. That’s good for a series of one counts, which seems to confuse Bodhi. Sinn: “ONE PLUS ONE PLUS ONE IS THREE!” You can’t fault his addition skills. Dimes’ one right hand has no effect as he gets sent outside, leaving Bodhi to hang in the Tree of Woe and bite his face.

Bodhi ties him upside down in the ropes and….tickles Dimes from the floor. Back in and Bodhi gives him an electric chair drop into a Garvin Stomp. A reverse falling headbutt and some funny faces at the crowd give Bodhi two but Dimes rolls him up into a crucifix for the same. Bodhi gets two more off a clothesline but Dimes is right back with a handspring cutter for the pin out of nowhere at 5:21.

Rating: D+. The ending felt like a shocking TV upset and I’m not sure how good of an idea it is to open the show like that. Dimes is hardly someone with a ton of appeal outside of a place like OVW where he can be a local star. Bodhi on the other hand actually felt weird, as opposed to someone who is just called weird and then does whatever lame bits he’s been given. That worked, and I could go for more of him in the future.

Colton Cage vs. Brandon Espinosa

Cage’s TV Title isn’t on the line but his girlfriend Dani is in his corner. Cage jumps him from the apron and hammers away on the floor before the opening bell. They get inside with Dani choking on the ropes, allowing Cage to get in a clothesline for two. Some shots in the corner miss Espinosa but Cage snaps him throat first across the top. Espinosa pops up and hits some running clotheslines, followed by a low superkick for two. Dani grabs Espinosa’s foot and Cage hits a Side Effect for two. A powerbomb out of the corner gives Espinosa two more but he misses a charge, allowing Cage to hit an ax kick for the pin at 5:25.

Rating: C-. Nothing match, but the commentary here was a nice addition as Josh and Callis praised the OVW talent and threw some softballs at Gilbert in regards to history between the wrestlers. It helped a lot with setting up what was going on here (though there isn’t a story between these two) and Callis sounds like he’s scouting talent. It’s better than having the Impact commentators take over the broadcast and talk about people they don’t know.

The War Kings (Crimson/Jax Dane, the Tag Team Champions) explain the rather complicated rules for tonight’s #1 contenders match: the two challenging teams will have a ten minute match. If either of them win, they get a title match immediately thereafter. If neither win and it’s a time limit draw, the title match still takes place as a triple threat. This is one of those promos where no one would talk this way and it’s rather forced exposition.

Jay Bradley vs. Cash Flo vs. Moose vs. Zo

Bradley used to wrestle in Impact as Aiden O’Shea. These guys are all rather large in one way or another so it’s a four way hoss fight. Moose immediately heads to the floor and it’s Flo and Zo going after Bradley, knocking him to the floor with a running corner splash. That leaves the two of them to chop it out (Flo is known for his chops) but the bigger Zo knocks him into the corner.

Bradley comes back in but gets tripped by Moose. Zo covers and now Moose is willing to come in for the save, putting all four inside for the first time. Moose gets triple chopped before heading outside with Zo. With Flo being knocked down in the corner, Moose comes back in and teases a dive but says screw the fans because the dive isn’t happening. Bradley is willing to dive and Flo follows suit with a rolling dive onto all three of them. It’s another slugout between Flo and Zo with the latter knocking him into the corner for a cartwheel splash. Not bad for a 400lber.

Bradley slams Zo but gets clotheslined down by Moose, who nips up in the always impressive display. Moose sends Flo outside as the Impact announcers start insulting Kentucky. With Moose up top, Bradley turns it into the Tower of Doom, which is all the better looking due to the total amount of size. Bradley is up first and throws Flo and Zo to the floor. Moose pops up with the lariat but gets suplexed by Flo, who is spinwheel kicked by Zo. Back up and it’s another chop off, but this time Zo small packages Flo for the pin at 11:28.

Rating: C. I know it’s not the best match in the world but I had a good time with this one. It was designed to be a spectacle with four big, strong guys beating each other up and that’s exactly what we got here. The match did its job and while Moose’s left leg has more talent than the other three combined, he wasn’t exactly thrilled to be here.

Madison Rayne vs. Cali Young

Cali’s (your standard good looking blonde who may or may not be dumb) Women’s Title isn’t on the line. This is Rayne’s return match after signing with the company again only days before. Cali works a wristlock as we hear about her basically stealing the title. A legsweep gives Madison two but Cali runs her over and gets in a cartwheel, only to have Madison run the ropes for a springboard wristdrag.

Back up and Cali sends her outside for a baseball slide, followed by a basement dropkick for two back inside. Some choking on the ropes has Madison in more trouble and a suplex sets up a front facelock. They both try…I think crossbodies and it’s a double knockdown. Madison fights up with a running forearm into a sliding basement clothesline for two of her own. An X Factor gives Cali two more but she misses a charge into the corner, allowing Madison to grab a reverse DDT for the pin at 7:35.

Rating: C-. This was a good way to show that while Impact isn’t the most beloved company in the world, their talent is still better than a lot of companies’. Cali was passable but didn’t exactly show anything all that great. Madison looked polished and like a much better overall worker, which is why she’s in a much bigger and more prominent role.

Moose talks about wanting to get out of this terrible town because he has a nice massage planned.

Team OVW vs. Team OVE

OVW: Dustin Jackson, Melvin Maximus, Sam Thompson, Shiloh Jonze

OVE: Crist Brothers, Madman Fulton, Rohit Raju

Jackson and Thompson are both generic guys, Jonze is OVW’s Grandmaster Sexay and Maximus is a middle aged guy who is rather strong and pretty limited (to put it mildly). Fulton is a good addition, even if he hadn’t joined OVE on TV yet. Raju is here because….well they needed a fourth. Jake and Thompson start things off with Jake not exactly taking this seriously.

Thompson gets in an enziguri and it’s off to Raju vs. Jackson. Raju takes him down and the bigger Jackson sends him into the corner, allowing the tag to Maximus, who gets two beat up Dave. The wrist crank is about as good as Melvin can go so it’s time for the hometown guys to work over Dave’s arm. Everything breaks down and Fulton hits a fireman’s carry flapjack on Thompson to take over.

We settle down to Fulton hitting rolling delayed vertical suplexes to rock Thompson and it’s Dave coming back in. Another near breakdown just lets Fulton slam Thompson onto Jake’s knees and we hit the chinlock. Thompson finally gets in an elbow and brings in Jonze for house cleaning and dancing.

The Running Man gets broken up by Fulton though and now it’s Jonze in trouble for a change. Raju gets in a few knees to the head before handing it back to Fulton for more hard forearms. Melvin breaks up a cover, sending Josh into hysterics about how OVE had the match won in one of the first us vs. them lines of the night. Raju’s snap suplex gets two but Jonze fights out of another chinlock so Jackson can come in to clean house.

A big dive takes out all of OVE and there’s a double missile dropkick to Jake and Raju. Fulton runs Melvin over and it’s Raju stomping on Jonze. Everything breaks down (again) and the Crists hit their superplex into a powerbomb for two with Jackson making the save. With everything going nuts, here’s Sami Callihan to jump Jackson for the DQ at 15:53.

Rating: D. A DQ? In an eight man tag on a one off show? They really couldn’t go to a finish on this one? This was another good example of showing how much more talented Impact is, as Melvin was old, Jonze felt like he was twenty years in the past, Thompson just didn’t stand out and Jackson…well ok he has a lot of potential but it wasn’t like I was buying OVW as being on OVE’s level. Other than maybe a quick fall on Raju, it wasn’t looking likely for the hometown boys to pull this off.

Post match the brawl is on with OVW clearing the ring.

Brian Cage is going to have the match of the night and steal the spotlight, as he always does.

Brian Cage vs. Justin Smooth

Smooth is tall, lanky and in great shape. He’s one of the standout stars on the roster and I could see him going somewhere someday. Cage takes him straight down into a headlock but Justin powers out, only to get his knee taken out. Back up and Justin uses the long legs for a dropkick and a clothesline cuts off the Terminator clap. Smooth pounds away in the corner but gets caught in a Cheeky Nandos kick.

Something close to a One Winged Angel (or at least a prototype version) gives Cage two but Smooth is right back with a spinebuster. Cage’s apron superplex gets two more, as does a powerslam from Smooth. Street Justice (a bicycle kick) just fires Cage up more (he has a thing about no selling kicks to the head) and it’s a buckle bomb to knock Smooth silly. The helicopter bomb gives Cage the pin at 7:34.

Rating: C+. The point of this match was to make Smooth look good and that’s exactly what he did. He’s big and muscular enough that this kind of offense looks like it can hang with Cage, which is quite the accomplishment for anyone. Smooth made an impression and while he has a long way to go, he looked awesome here and that’s a rare instance here.

Adam Revolver and his manager Shannon the Dude (local DJ) are ready for Eddie Edwards. They’ve studied him you see.

Eddie talks to a mannequin and asks if Kenny is ready for Revolver.

Eddie Edwards vs. Adam Revolver

Revolver, with Shannon the Dude, has been around forever and has won everything in the company. Actually hang on a second as here’s Impact World Champion Johnny Impact (who got his start here, meaning it’s a WELCOME HOME chant). He has a surprise.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Johnny Impact vs. Adam Revolver vs. Eddie Edwards

Impact is defending. Revolver bails to the floor and tells the two of them to fight so Johnny runs the ropes, allowing Revolver to trip him down. Eddie’s clothesline gets two with Revolver coming in for the save, which gives the Impact guys an idea. Revolver gets surrounded on the floor and caught in between some alternating forearms. The same thing happens inside with a series of right hands knocking Revolver silly and a double superkick putting him on the floor again.

That leaves Johnny to headlock Eddie down but Revolver breaks up a springboard. Eddie gets sent into the post so Impact knees Revolver in the head. The champ takes too long going up though and gets knocked down, leaving Eddie to come in and crotch Revolver. A double superplex puts all three down and it’s a three way slugout with Eddie getting the better of it.

Eddie has to go after Shannon though, sending Johnny to the back in chase. Shannon comes back out and there’s no Impact as Revolver starts hammering on Eddie, which just fires him up. Here’s Johnny again, only to have Eddie catch him in a Blue Thunder Bomb. The Backpack Stunner is countered into a Russian legsweep to give Revolver two.

Impact throws Revolver down for two with Eddie making the save, earning himself the flipping neckbreaker. This time it’s Revolver pulling Johnny out and getting punched in the face for his efforts. The Boston Knee Party gives Eddie two as Revolver makes yet another save. Revolver’s sleeper (finisher) is broken up by Impact and Starship Pain to Revolver retains the title at 14:04.

Rating: B. This was quite good with everyone working hard and Revolver more than holding his own the entire time. Yeah Eddie and Johnny did the heavy lifting but it was nice to have the OVW guy look more than comfortable instead of having to be walked through his part of the match. Good stuff here and easily the best part of the show so far.

Post match Johnny praises Eddie, who gets decked by Shannon. Eddie beats him up but Revolver hits him low and bails with Shannon before Impact can kill both of them.

Madison says she’s back.

Here’s OVW boss Dean Hill to talk about the issue with Sami Callihan and OVE stealing the OVW Title. He asks Impact President Scott D’Amore to come out here so here’s Scott, with the OVW Title. Dean recaps the story between the two companies and says D’Amore has answered his calls every time…until Sami stole the title when it was just voicemail.

D’Amore says he’s a little busier than someone running OVW but he understands the problem of dealing with Sami Callihan. Looking around the building, it doesn’t seem that dealing with OVE is hurting business around here. D’Amore hands the title back to Hill and says all he wanted was a thank you but here’s OVE to interrupt. Sami likes the sound of those OVE chants but wants the sheep to shut up so he can talk. The chanting continues so Sami sits down and tells them to shut up in Spanish.

Sami yells at D’Amore for giving OVE the shaft again before talking about signing a two year contract. There were some clauses in that contract though, like OVE being at ringside for the title match. Second, if the title isn’t on the line, there’s no match. This brings out OVW Champion Tony Gunn, with Dean saying that the title being on the line is up to the champ. Gunn says it’s on the line and brings out Team OVW for backup. OVE gets cleared out and Hill makes the title match official.

We see a clip of Gunn and Callihan getting in a fight at a comic book store. Always cool to see some local stuff like that.

The Void vs. King’s Ransom

This is the #1 contenders match, which is billed as a Tag Team Title match. Since the champions aren’t in here though and a fall can take place without them involved, I’m not calling it a title match. The Void (two rather small guys) is Nigel Winters/Chace Destiny and King’s Ransom are Maximus/Leonis Khan, who are either twins or brothers who look enough alike that they might as well be twins. They look like the Usos if you inflated them and somehow they’ve only been wrestling for about a year and a half. They’re also #1 contenders after winning a tournament but the champs have been running from them.

Winters goes for a headlock on Leonis to start and gets tossed into the corner with raw power. Chace comes in and rolls up Maximus for two but gets his head knocked off with a jumping clothesline. It’s Chace getting beaten down in the corner until a shot to the throat allows a tag off to Winters.

A double back elbow gets two on Maximus, who comes right back with a double clothesline. The chinlock has Nigel in trouble and it’s back to Leonis for a chinlock of his own. A third chinlock is countered with a pull of the hair to reverse into another chinlock (that’s a new one). Leonis gets a shoulder for the double knockdown as time expires at 10:12.

Rating: D+. This was a weird one with both teams wrestling a similar style, which didn’t make a ton of sense given how different they really are. It wasn’t exactly a surprise that this was going to a time limit draw and there’s nothing wrong with that. If nothing else it saves the big King’s Ransom vs. War Kings showdown and title change for later.

Tag Team Titles: The Void vs. King’s Ransom vs. War Kings

The War Kings (Crimson/Jax Dane) are defending. After we come back from looking at the champs’ entrance, Leonis is in trouble thanks to a chop block from Winters. Crimson makes the save and throws Leonis into the corner so Jax can tag himself in. Dane beats up the Void on his own (it doesn’t look that hard) and we hit the chinlock on Chace.

Crimson comes back in for a suplex, followed by a nerve hold from Dane. The comeback doesn’t take long though as Maximus tags himself in to clothesline the heck out of Nigel. King’s Landing (double spinebuster) gets two but Crimson makes the save, setting up the fireman’s carry flapjack into a cutter to finish Destiny and retain the titles at 8:33.

Rating: D. The rules didn’t do this one any favors as the champs came in and basically squashed the already beaten up Void while ignoring the interesting team. It makes sense from a long term storyline perspective but that doesn’t make for a good match in this case. It wasn’t very good, but the way the match was set up made it seem like this was the way it was supposed to go, which is a pretty strange way to proceed.

OVW Title: Sami Callihan vs. Tony Gunn

Gunn is defending and OVE/Team OVW are all at ringside. They start fast with an exchange of chops in the corner until Gunn dropkicks him to the floor. The stalling ensues until everyone gets inside for the big staredown. We settle down to Gunn knocking Callihan outside and following with a dive this time to keep Sami in trouble. Back in again and Sami flips him off for not chopping hard enough.

A suplex keeps Sami down but he shakes the ropes to knock Gunn down and take over. Gunn gets sent outside for the group stomp and another staredown, because a match and a staredown aren’t enough. Sami grabs a chinlock back inside, followed by something close to a People’s Elbow. The chinlock goes on again but Gunn reverses into a Brock Lock of all things, sending Sami slowly crawling over to the ropes.

Sami bails to the floor and catches a sliding Gunn in the ring skirt to keep up the beating. Back in again and we hit the nerve hold to keep extending the match. That’s reversed as well, this time into an ankle lock of all things. There’s another rope grab for a break, allowing Sami to dive over for a rollup and a near fall. Sami starts in on Gunn’s knee, sending Tony to the ropes as well. It’s Gunn getting fired up this time and spitting in Sami’s face for a change.

A superplex attempt is countered into a powerbomb out of the corner and Sami slaps on a pretty quickly broken STF. The baseball bat is brought in and the tug of war gives us the required ref bump. Gunn’s Five Arm discus forearm connects for no cover so Gunn loads it up again. That’s a smart move but everything breaks down again, as you knew was coming.

We get the big parade of people being knocked down in a row until Gunn hits another Five Arm for no cover. Raju goes up and gets shoved through the announcers’ table (that was LOUD in person), setting up a piledriver for two on Gunn with another referee coming in for the count. Callihan loads up the bat to chair spot but gets low blowed, setting up the third Five Arm to retain the title at 27:58.

Rating: C+. This was long, though it didn’t feel all that long for most of the match. Gunn needed some smoke and mirrors to make up for his limited (though it could have been much worse) offense. I still don’t get the appeal of him in my limited time seeing him but he’s not the most thrilling guy. Sami still comes off like a star, though it might be a case of being a big fish in a small pond.

Team OVW celebrates to end the show. After the show was over, D’Amore offered Gunn a spot in Impact but Gunn turned him down.

Overall Rating: C. You have to consider the situation here. OVW is a smaller promotion and there’s nothing wrong with that. This show was designed to give OVW a rub and that’s what they did. There are people on the roster who look good and have a future, though they need some more seasoning, which is why they’re in OVW at the moment. Some of the talent is much better than others, but what we got here was perfectly watchable and that made for a rather nice show. It was a little long live, but getting to go to the Davis Arena was a cool moment and for the $20 ticket, I can’t complain.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part III
Date: October 13, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

I’m still not done with this thing but at least I’m onto the second half now. Believe it or not we’re still on the tournaments, which is almost all these shows are about. Hopefully we can get some good action in here to make the show work well enough, though it’s not like the first two parts have been inspiring. Let’s get to it.

Here are Part II’s results if you need a recap.

The opening video (remember that these shows are comprised of four hour long episodes) previews tonight’s show, focusing on a women’s triple threat.

Opening sequence.

Video on Virgil Flynn, who I don’t think I’ve heard of outside of this show.

Nex Gen Title Tournament First Round: Virgil Flynn III vs. Trevor Lee

Lee shoves him down to start and picks up the much smaller Flynn for some ragdolling. Flynn sends him into the ropes though and nails a running slap but a springboard is broken up with a kick to the rope. A forearm to the face gets two as PJ Black is watching from the ramp. Flynn’s comeback is countered with a gutwrench faceplant but he’s fine enough for a tornado DDT.

Lee gets sent outside for a big running flip dive, followed by a running backsplash for no cover. Lee’s spinning crossbody gets two and a bridging German suplex is good for the same. Flynn is right back up with a forearm to the face and a top rope hurricanrana (West Coast Pop without the springboard) is good for the pin at 9:11.

Rating: C-. There’s a certain kind of indy cruiserweight match that you can almost call spot by spot and move by move and that’s what you had here. Neither of these two were exciting and the match wasn’t exactly shocking. It was completely watchable but absolutely nothing beyond that.

Shelton Benjamin says he has a concussion and will be on the shelf for the time being.

Nick Aldis is ready to become the World Champion. He’s done it before and he can do it again, a stance Jeff Jarrett seems to share. Aldis knows Chris Mordetzky is more than a musclehead and he’ll be ready.

Black hands Flynn a cup of water and knocks it out of his hands.

Here’s Karen Jarrett for a chat. She talks about last month’s women’s three way match with Christina Von Eerie moving on to the Women’s Title match. Before we get to the other qualifying match, here’s Bullet Babe Amber Gallows for a chat. She’s looking forward to this but here’s Tease N Sleaze (Kenny King and Joey Ryan) to say these two just destroyed the ratings in three minutes. Stripping ensues and Jarrett’s response of “Do you know who our husbands are?” doesn’t exactly work well. Karen gets a little more serious and tells them to get out because the women are main eventing. Amber cleans house.

The announcers talk about the tournaments.

Katarina Leigh, Laura James and Amber Gallows want the Women’s Title. Karen would be happy with any of them winning.

Christina Von Eerie is ready for whoever gets the other spot.

Women’s Title Tournament First Round: Katarina Leigh vs. Amber Gallows vs. Laura James

Katarina is Catrina/Winter/Katie Lea/whatever other names she’s gone by. Amber’s offer of a Too Sweet gets her a kick to the ribs from Katarina. James gets two off a PerfectPlex to Amber and it’s Gallows getting double teamed. A big boot knocks James off the apron but Leigh hits one of her own on Gallows.

The double teaming continues with a Boston crab/camel clutch combination but, as always, the fight over the fall begins. Gallows uses the break to roll Leigh up for two, followed by a neckbreaker/DDT at the same time for two more. A superkick drops Leigh and the Amber Alert (X Factor) gives Gallows the pin on James at 4:55.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. They tried to turn this into a major match but it felt like any match you would see on any indy show. Gallows was treated as a major star and better than the others, which at least gives Von Eerie a challenger. What we got here was nothing special though and not exactly main event worthy.

Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows come out to celebrate.

A preview for next week’s episode wraps up the first show.

We get a preview for the second week, which is still such a weird thing to see on a long show like this.

Tease N Sleaze aren’t happy with what happened at Amber Gallows’ hands so Joey is ready to deal with anyone, man or woman.

Kevin (Killer) Kross isn’t happy with the result of his first match but he never gives up. Why he goes from a full head of hair to bald and back in a single video isn’t clear.

Juicy Joey vs. Kevin Kross

Kenny’s early distraction doesn’t work and it’s Kross taking him down into a front facelock. Joey sends him outside though and Kenny actually does something right by stomping away. Kross’ leg is wrapped around the post and Joey has a target. The leg is fine enough for a release German suplex to take Joey down but he’s right back on the leg to keep Kross in trouble. The comeback doesn’t take long with Kross hitting a kick to the face and an exploder suplex. Some rolling suplexes (regular into a fisherman’s into a Saito) finish Joey at 5:30.

Rating: D+. The leg going absolutely nowhere was annoying but they were smart to have the hometown boy Kross win. Joey isn’t the most polished worker in the world it was a good idea to keep things moving here. Kross has a lot of potential but there’s only so much you can do with these restrictions. He didn’t exactly get much better in the ring in the next few years anyway.

We recap Chris Mordetzky insulting Mickie James (Nick Aldis’ wife) at Chael Sonnen’s pushing. Aldis came out and got full nelsoned.

Amber Gallows wants the Women’s Title.

Video on Aldis vs. Mordetzky. They used to be friends but Mordetzky has become a jerk, who even implies that he and Mickie used to have something going on.

Video on the four way for the Nex Gen Title.

Joey and Kenny argue but agree to focus on their next tag match instead.

GFW Global Title Tournament Semifinals: Chris Mordetzky vs. Nick Aldis

Aldis is ticked off and punches him out to the floor, followed by a back elbow to the face back inside. Chris gets knocked outside again and more right hands keep Mordetzky in trouble. A missed dropkick lets Mordetzky take over, much to Sonnen’s delight. That means a camel clutch for a bit, followed by the standard stomps to the ribs. Mordetzky stays on the ribs as Sonnen wonders about the lack of the Adonis Lock. Well Mordetzky never was known as the brightest guy in the world.

A front facelock at least starts in on the neck before having to go with a spinebuster to cut Aldis off. The threat of the Adonis Lock is countered with a clothesline and they’re both down. Aldis is back up with what looked like a brainbuster for two and the King’s Lynn Cloverleaf sends Adonis to the rope. Mordetzky hits a sitout spinebuster for two of his own but the Adonis Lock is countered into the Spine Shaker to give Aldis the pin at 11:18.

Rating: C. Mordetzky is very close to the top of the list of people who were supposed to be a big deal once they got out from underneath WWE’s thumb but he’s the exact same guy who didn’t work in WWE. He’s big, muscular, and spends most of the match trying to get a full nelson. That doesn’t make an interesting match and Aldis, while good, isn’t good enough to make this a strong match.

In the back, Mordetzky yells at the referee to no avail.

Preview for the Nex Gen Title match on the next show.

The next episode begins with a big preview of the Nex Gen Title match. It would be nice if we had seen these guys have more than one match before they’re fighting for a title.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett for a chat. He puts over Las Vegas as a great city where all of the tournaments are going to wrap up. Shelton Benjamin is out of the tournament due to a concussion but here’s a loudmouthed manager to yell about the crowd as he comes to the ring with Chris Mordetzky, who is carrying flowers. He introduces himself as Stu Stone, the official business manager for Mordetzky.

They’re upset about something that happened with Mickie James so Mordetzky has these flowers as a peace offering. Mordetzky should be put in the tournament in Benjamin’s place but that’s a big negative. Chris leaves and Stu yells at Jarrett for making a bad decision. Jeff goes to punch him out but Mordetzky makes the save.

Post break Jeff rants to Karen Jarrett about what just happened.

The four participants in the Nex Gen Title match arrive.

In case you haven’t gotten enough of them yet, here’s a video on the Nex Gen Title match. Maybe we could see these people in the ring instead of in all these videos? This eats nearly fifteen minutes and is just a bunch of “this guy is awesome and this guy is awesome and this title is SO important”.

Nex Gen Title: PJ Black vs. Jigsaw vs. Virgil Flynn vs. TJP

For the inaugural title and it’s one fall to a finish. We get the Big Match Intros just in case you haven’t waited long enough yet. Black won’t shake Jarrett’s hand before the match so we can have a heel. A double superkick puts Black on the floor to start and the other three go for some rapid fire rollups for two each. Black is back in and gets sent outside almost immediately and Flynn does a big spinning headscissors on Jigsaw.

Since we haven’t done it in a few seconds, Black comes back in and gets triple dropkicked out of the air to send him outside. Just give him the title already. TJP gets the Black Widow on Jigsaw before switching to an Indian Deathlock. Just to show off, he gets a northern lights suplex for two on Flynn at the same time. Jigsaw sends TJP outside and slightly botches a backbreaker on Flynn. TJP dives back in to break up a cover and puts Jigsaw in a surfboard with Virgil making a save.

Black is back for a brainbuster on Virgil but Jigsaw hurricanranas him to the floor. Everyone goes to the floor so Flynn dives onto the pile for a big crash. Back in and Jigsaw ties Black in the Tree of Woe for a top rope double stomp from another corner (normally known as a dropkick but not to these commentators) for two. Jigsaw’s kneeling over the back piledriver gets two on TJP with Black making the save. Flynn takes out Black and Jigsaw but charges into a superkick from Jigsaw.

Back up and Jigsaw gets caught in a Doomsday crossbody, leaving Black to hit a Lionsault for two. TJP knocks Black off the top and it’s Flynn with a 450, only to have Jigsaw double stomp (not a dropkick this time) Virgil in the back for the save. Black is right back in though and it’s another 450 to finish TJP at 11:19.

Rating: B. They really telegraphed Black winning the title here, though it was still a good match. The problem is this is nothing that hasn’t been done several times before and several times better by more interesting people. You have to have a match like this on your show and that’s ok, but this is nothing I’m going to remember in a few hours.

Next time: Chael Sonnen gets to talk.

This time: Chael Sonnen gets to talk.

Here’s Chael Sonnen, who does indeed get to talk. Sonnen insults the fans for not knowing how to handle seeing a mega star. There are celebrities and stars and then there is Chael Sonnen. He wants the people to chant his name and take his picture. Now they should introduce themselves to each other. Those people you just met? They’re Chael Sonnen fans.

Anyway Sonnen introduces the highest paid athlete in the spot: himself! He wants a match and doesn’t care who he’s facing. Sonnen goes on a rather nice rant about all the people he can beat before saying he needs to get to his latte in his dressing room so cut his mic. Sonnen has great charisma and can talk, so this was a lot better than I was expecting.

Juicy Joey introduces us to his new partner: Oozing Austin (Jakob Austin Young, an indy guy who hasn’t done anything of note), because Kenny Klimax is gone and Joey likes multiple partners.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Tease N Sleaze vs. Reno Scum

Scum starts fast and takes over on Austin with Luster chopping him down in the corner. A neckbreaker over the ropes keeps him in trouble but it’s off to Joey, who gets punched in the head as well. Something like a bulldog sends Joey face first into Luster’s knee and Thornstowe’s standing moonsault….allows the tag to Austin without much effort.

Thornstowe gets caught in the corner and it’s Joey whipping him into another corner, allowing for some hip thrusting on the mat. Austin’s suplex lets Joey come in for the two count so Thornstowe is right back with a double Blockbuster. Joey gets tied into the Tree of Woe and a Razor’s Edge sends Austin into him. A curb stomp/top rope stomp finishes Austin at 8:30.

Rating: D+. That’s one of the best Scum matches I’ve ever seen and the fact that they were faces probably had a lot to do with it. They beat up an annoying team here, though the switch from Kenny to Austin was rather notable. Austin didn’t show anything here and Joey was just a guy, which is weird today given how much he’s blown up. Not a good match, but not terrible for just a step above a squash.

Of note: the brackets show the Bullet Club in the semifinals, which commentary already said that they had been replaced by another team. I know it’s a taping situation, but that doesn’t exactly make this look well put together.

Kongo Kong is getting his toenails clipped when he shoves his handler (the clipper) away.

Here’s the co-star of Roddy Piper’s final movie for a chat. The movie, the Masked Saint, is now getting great reviews but here’s Tease N Sleaze to interrupt. Joey doesn’t want to hear from this guy because no one takes wrestling more seriously than Joey does. Austin has the chance to make up for the loss, so he punches the actor out…and that’s it. Well I’m depressed.

Luke Gallows says the Bullet Club is missing the show because they got booked in Japan. They’ll be back for the Tag Team Titles.

The Bollywood Boyz are now in the finals against Reno Scum. Good for them.

PJ Black interrupts the announcers to smile at the camera.

Kevin Kross is ready for his three way match to become the new #1 contender. It’s weird hearing him talk like a rational human after his Killer Kross days. Brian Myers (Curt Hawkins) is a serious wrestler but he’s getting dropped on his head today.

Kongo Kong vs. Brian Myers vs. Kevin Kross

For the #1 contendership to the Global Title, which doesn’t actually have a champion yet. Kong’s lackey Henry Maxwell handles Kong’s introduction. Before the match, Kevin gets in an argument with MMA fighter Phil Baroni in the front row. Kong goes to the apron to start and Maxwell tells the other two to fight. Chael’s thoughts on Maxwell: he’s a good guy but he’s quit the business since the tapings took place. Kross and Myers go outside to jump Kong and the double teaming begins inside.

Kong fights them off and sends Myers outside so a splash can get two on Kross. A double chokeslam lets Kong go up top and it’s a double superplex to bring him back down. There’s a double spinebuster to take him down again but Kross fisherman suplexes Myers for two instead. A cannonball gets two on Kross so Myers gives him an enziguri. Kong powerbombs Myers onto Kross’ knees and the top rope splash lets Kong finish Myers at 8:45.

Rating: D+. Actually not terrible here and I’m rather surprised by that one. Kong continues to be one of the most embarrassing wrestlers I’ve seen in years though it makes sense to set up a monster for the first champion to face. Myers was his usual game self and Kross has potential, though he needs something to tie it all together. Maybe being a psycho.

Overall Rating: D. While it’s not terrible by any measure, it’s very, very dry and boring, which for me is a lot worse. There is absolutely nothing on here that feels inspired, fresh or even all that good in the first place. While I can understand that this isn’t meant to be watched in marathon form, there is NOTHING on here that would make me want to keep watching for more than about two weeks.

It’s all about the tournaments and I really need more than just one tournament match after another. You get a very minor story here and there but it doesn’t make for good TV and I wanted to stop multiple times throughout. Thank goodness there’s only one part left, but to suggest that this had any sort of a future is ridiculous.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 2000 Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Part 1 (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/02/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-thunder-reviews-volume-vii-january-june-2000/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

So I took in the OVW vs. Impact Wrestling One Night Only Show in Louisville’s Davis Arena on Saturday night. That would be the same place where John Cena, Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar and Batista among others got their start (for all intent and purpose). It was a long night and mostly fun, but there was one problem.

I managed to delete my notes because that’s what I get for trying to take notes on my phone instead of on paper as I usually do. Since the show is debuting this weekend I’ll wait for the full thing to do an entire review, but here are some quick highlights.

The Davis Arena is a warehouse on the outskirts of Louisville and if you don’t know it’s there, you would never find the place as it’s the second warehouse from the road. The place holds about 350 seats (400 at best) but there’s certainly a feeling that some important stuff has gone on in here. As you walk in through a small hallway, there are some drawn pictures of some of the legends who have worked there, which is a really nice touch.

I paid for the meet and greet (total cost including general admission seating: $20 for one of the best bargains I can ever remember) with most of the roster, which was quite the disorganized mess and not really worth the extra $10 on top of the ticket. Most of the Impact wrestlers were there while the OVW wrestlers were mainly ignored. I got a handshake from Brian Cage (nice guy), Eddie Edwards (who apologized for being on his phone as I came up and seemed to be having a good time) and Moose (who looked like he wanted to be anywhere else).

Sami Callihan was at the end and I’ve never seen someone who can go from calm and polite (asked him to sign my card that they gave you upon entry and he shook my hand, smiled a bit and handed it back with a thank you for one of the most polite exchanges I’ve ever had) to on in the blink of an eye. Once I got to my seat, you could see Callihan doing various shenanigans with fans, including clapping along for random chants, being carried about by (the gigantic) Sawyer Fulton or just being an energetic guy oozing charisma. He stood out more than anyone else on the show by a mile and it’s easy to see why he’s become a big deal in the last few years.

Since a lot of the show was built around OVW talents I won’t go into all of the matches here but there were some highlights:

Sinn Bodhi (Kizarny) is doing the I’m A Weird Freak thing and actually comes off as weird for a change, which is a nice surprise.

Madison Rayne (who walked by me at the meet and greet as she was setting up) might have had her return match for Impact here and blew away every woman in OVW. The women they haven’t aren’t bad but you can see the difference in experience and quality.

One of OVW’s younger guys is named Justin Smooth, a tall guy with a good build. He’s got a long way to go but there’s some potential there.

Johnny Impact was an unannounced surprise and got involved in a match which became a three way for the World Title. You would think you might advertise an OVW legend but the show was already sold out so it’s not the biggest mistake in the world. He and Eddie Edwards worked most of the match with OVW mainstay Adam Revolver, who did enough to make this match of the night.

The OVW act that really made an impression was a tag team called King’s Ransom, a pair of brothers (Leonis and Maximus Khan. They may be twins but they’re close enough that you need to look at them closely to tell a difference.) who look like muscular Usos and wrestle a power style. From what I can tell they’re still in their rookie year, with the first match I can find for them coming in April 2018. They have a lot of work to do (promos are far from great) but that look and style is going to get them somewhere. The two of them stood out, which doesn’t often happen on a show like this.

Speaking of not standing out, current OVW Champion Tony Gunn is….nothing special to put it mildly. He’s a guy in trunks whose nickname is Shotgun Tony Gunn, who calls himself the Gunn Show and stands 5’11 and weighs 200lbs. His promos are rather weak as well and I don’t get what OVW sees in him. He and Callihan (who have been doing an angle on OVW TV) were the main event, which went about 28 minutes and featured a ton of interference from Impact and OVW wrestlers. It was good, but Gunn isn’t someone I can ever picture myself caring about.

Overall, it was a fun night and you can’t beat the price (Seriously, $20 for a show and meet and greet with free parking?), plus getting to go to the Davis Arena, which is an important place in wrestling history, was the real highlight. Good show, and hopefully that holds up on the broadcast.

One Night Only: Amped Anthology Part II
Date: September 15, 2017
Location: Orleans Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Cyrus Fees, Chael Sonnen

You might remember that I did this about a year ago and for some reason I never got around to doing the other three parts. Maybe because the first part wasn’t very good and I really didn’t care that much. These have been on my list for a long time though so I might as well get to them. This is the previously unreleased Global Force Wrestling TV show that never made air because GFW never went anywhere. We’re in full on title tournament mode and this would be episodes 5-8, as with commercials taken out the four hour long episodes equal about three hours. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the original if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of last week’s tournament matches, none of which were anything special. You know, like this entire promotion. A preview for tonight’s matches are included too. Not the worst idea in the world, as always.

The announcers preview the show.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Reno Scum vs. Los Luchas

I remember Scum from Impact and I never quite got it. They weren’t bad but they’re just another heel team. Scum jumps them to start and it’s Adam Thornstowe (partner of Luster the Legend) beating on Phoenix Star (partner of Zokre) in the corner. The double teaming begins with a knee drop and a quickly broken chinlock as Star is already in trouble. Zokre makes a blind tag though and comes in with a springboard crossbody to Adam as the pace picks up in a hurry.

It’s already back to Phoenix, who gets taken down by a running clothesline. Adam comes back in with a slingshot hilo and the neck crank only lasts a few seconds. Instead Adam hits a standing moonsault for two but Star flips out of a belly to back suplex and it’s back to Zokre. The Luchas hit a double 619 on Adam and a handspring kick to the face sends Luster outside. Adam dives onto Zokre and Luster, followed by Phoenix diving onto all three of them. Cyrus brings up a good question: at what point is taking out your own partner not worth the effort?

Back in and a springboard Blockbuster into a Backstabber (cool) has Adam in more trouble with Luster having to make a save. Some dives are broken up so Zokre is tied in the Tree of Woe with Phoenix being Razor’s Edged into him for a unique looking crash. A Death Valley Driver puts Zokre down and it’s a top rope Stomp to Phoenix to give Adam the pin at 9:12.

Rating: C+. There were some cool spots here but I don’t know anything about either team. Now the good thing in this instance is how the two teams are pretty much self explanatory. The Luchas are about as simple of a concept as you can get while Scum are…well they’re heels with cool moves. I don’t quite get the gimmick, but the match wasn’t bad at all.

Karl Anderson and Doc Gallows explain the idea of a thing called the Bullet Club and how they do whatever they want because it’s fun.

Here’s Jeff Jarrett for a chat. He thanks the arena and the wrestlers in the back, because this place is nothing without them. Finally, he thanks the fans as well because they’re the biggest reason any wrestling promotion works. We’re in the middle of several tournaments right now, and names like Shelton Benjamin, the Killer Elite Squad and the Bullet Club will be in some of those tournaments.

This brings out Bobby Roode, so Jarrett takes off the jacket. Roode mocks the fans for the THANK YOU JEFF chants. For what? Messing up TNA and starting another two bit promotion? Nobody cares about this place and Roode already made Killer Kross tap out to advance in the tournament. Jeff says GFW is about competing, so Roode’s next opponent is Eric Young. Cyrus: “They’re both currently in NXT.”

Chris Mordetzky (Chris Master) and Brian Myers (Curt Hawkins) have both wrestled around the world and it’s looks and power vs. skill. Chris thinks he’s a top star while Meyers is a role player. Myers isn’t impressed.

Reno Scum is proud of winning and Christina Von Eerie, apparently their manager, wants to talk strategy.

We recap the Jarrett vs. Roode segment.

Roode isn’t sweating Young.

GFW World Title Tournament First Round: Chris Mordetzky vs. Brian Meyers

Cyrus again tells us that Myers is on Smackdown as Curt Hawkins. A power exchange goes to Chris (well duh) and he posts Myers out to the floor. Back in and Chris starts in on the back with a powerslam as Nick Aldis watches to find out who he faces next. The camel clutch goes on and Myers is thrown down for trying to escape.

A hard slap to the face puts Myers down so he slaps Chris right back and they’re both down. Myers makes his comeback with some right hands and a running forearm, followed by a Downward Spiral for two. Chris gets a slow two off a sitout spinebuster but the Adonis Lock is blocked. A spear sends Chris to the floor but he kicks the ropes for a low blow on the way back in. Now the Master Lock can go on to make Myers tap at 8:47.

Rating: D+. This is where the problem comes with GFW. While I can get behind the idea of two unknown teams fighting for the Tag Team Titles, this was Curt Hawkins vs. Chris Masters in a battle of former WWE jobbers. I’ve seen them both for a long time in WWE and I don’t want to see either of them here. It doesn’t help that Myers is just a guy while Master is the EXACT same thing that didn’t work in WWE. What’s the appeal here?

Post match, Chris goes to the back and talks trash to Aldis.

The second episode begins so we hit the opening sequence again.

Another preview.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Misterioso Jr./Cielo vs. Teaze N Sleaze

It’s Kenny Klimax (King) and Juicy Joey (Ryan) and we start with some stripping until it’s Ryan getting armdragged down by Cielo. Jr. comes in for a sunset flip off a Cielo dropkick as the announcers talk about Joey’s infamous suplex. King comes in and gets kicked down into a standing moonsault for two as the masked guys are certainly starting fast here. A Joey distraction lets Kenny get in a cheap shot from behind as the team you’ve actually heard of takes over.

It’s back to Joey for some chest rubbing and Kenny throws in some dancing as Cielo continues to take a pretty weak beating. Joey spends a little too much time posing and charges into a knee, meaning it’s a hot tag to Jr. Everything breaks down with Joey having to break up a cover off a moonsault press. A superkick from Joey sets up the Royal Flush to give Kenny the pin at 6:37.

Rating: D. This didn’t have much time and that’s the best option for the guys in there. King and Ryan are little more than a comedy act and while that’s a good thing to have around, it’s not the most important thing to spend time on. Cielo and Misterioso were fine, but you already have Los Luchas around here and they’re a step or two better.

Video on Shelton Benjamin, who lists off his career resume and amateur background.

We get a tribute to Roddy Piper, who passed away less than a week before this was taped. Jeff Jarrett and Brian Granstaff (the writer/star of Roddy’s last movie, which happened to be about wrestling) come out with Jarrett talking about everything Piper did over the years. Piper would come into a territory at one level and then leave at the main event level. He was supposed to be here tonight but we’re celebrating him instead. Brian talks about all the F bombs that Piper dropped on the set of the Christian film in a funny story.

We see some clips of Piper talking about the movie and see the teaser trailer. Back in the arena, we get a ten bell salute. This was a very nice tribute to Piper and felt like something kind of special, especially with the stuff from the wrestling movie. I’d rather they do this than try to make it into some kind of an angle.

Video on TJ Perkins, of course now known as TJP. He was homeless for awhile as he pursued his dream and now he’s part of the Nex Gen tournament.

The announcers recap the tournaments. Chael is ready to personally do a run-in if that’s what it takes to make Mordetzky champion.

Video on JR Kratos, a muscular indy guy sounds nowhere near as intimidating as you would expect from his name. He’s ready to face a veteran like Shelton.

GFW World Title Tournament First Round: JR Kratos vs. Shelton Benjamin

Kratos forearms him into the corner to start but gets caught with an early Dragon Whip (Not named here as the announcers are too busy praising Shelton. That’s a good idea, but they need to pay more attention.). A quick posting cuts Shelton off though and Kratos gets two off a delayed vertical suplex.

The chinlock doesn’t last long as Shelton fights up with some right hands and the Stinger Splash into a Samoan drop for two. Kratos is right back with a powerslam for the same and a running knee to the face. He takes way long going up though and gets suplexed right back down. Paydirt (still don’t like that move) finishes Kratos at 6:00.

Rating: D. Kratos has a good name and a good look and that’s about it for his major positives. There’s only so much that you can get out of a name like Shelton against a newcomer and the ending wasn’t exactly in doubt. Kratos came off like an inexperienced (though not terrible or anything) rookie and that’s not going to work against a pretty big star like Shelton. Not the worst match by any stretch, but nothing you need to see.

We get a preview for “next week”. That’s not a criticism as this isn’t being presented in its intended format.

Episode seven begins with a video on the Bullet Club vs. the Killer Elite Squad.

The announcers preview things again.

Video on Andrew Everett, who is a heck of a high flier. Jarrett says Everett makes him think of the first time he saw AJ Styles, which is quite the praise.

Nex Gen Title Tournament First Round: Andrew Everett vs. TJ Perkins

The bell rings with Perkins’ music still playing as they want to get moving. Everett hits a dropkick to start but gets headscissored down. Chael brings up Prince Iaukea of all people, praising him as the best moving smaller wrestler in years. Just….stick to getting beaten up in MMA dude. Perkins sends him outside but Everett switches places and hits the springboard shooting star for the first big spot of the match.

Back in and a springboard splash misses but Everett kicks him down for one anyway. Perkins slaps on a quickly broken Black Widow before getting two off a crucifix. There’s a slingshot hilo for some Eddie Guerrero flavor and Perkins stays on the arm. A dropkick to the back gives Perkins two more and we hit the bow and arrow hold. Everett gets in a forearm to the face though and a springboard missile dropkick has Perkins in trouble.

That means a standing shooting star press for two but Perkins dropkicks him out of the air for a breather. Some rolling suplexes look to set up a frog splash, which only hits Everett’s raised knees. A Falcon Arrow sets up the 630 but it takes WAY too long, with Perkins rolling away in more than enough time. Perkins frog splashes the arm and a cross armbreaker makes Everett tap at 10:46.

Rating: B. Match of the night by far here with both guys hitting a bunch of high flying spots over a pretty decent amount of time. Perkins was a bigger deal and a more well rounded worker here though, with the arm work actually playing into the finish. That’s what makes a match like this work so well and Perkins was nailing it here, with Everett more than holding up his end.

Earlier today, the Bullet Club arrived and promised to win tonight.

Earlier today, the Killer Elite Squad was at the hotel and promised to win tonight.

Here’s Bobby Roode with the TNA King of the Mountain Title to complain some more. It was his responsibility to be here for the fans, even though Jeff Jarrett is playing mind games with him. Jeff made him qualify for the World Title tournament so he beat the hometown here Kevin Kross. Now he has to beat the crazy man Eric Young, who only belongs in an insane asylum. This brings out Young to chase Roode off and scream a lot, reminding me of how much I couldn’t stand this version of Young. Roode comes in and the fight is on with Young getting the better of it until referees break it up.

Perkins is proud of his win and Everett comes in to congratulate him. Well thank goodness he was happy with the match and not distraught over being eliminated from the tournament.

Shelton may have a concussion and is on his way to the hospital.

The announcers recap and preview.

Video on Nick Aldis, who has been successful everywhere he’s gone and is ready to be the star.

Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Killer Elite Squad vs. Bullet Club

The Squad is Davey Boy Smith Jr. and Lance Archer. It’s Doc Gallows and Karl Anderson, with Amber Gallows as the Bullet Babe, for the Club here. The fight starts on the floor (well duh) with the Squad taking over until it’s Archer and Anderson slugging it out inside to officially get things going. A choke suplex and clothesline have Anderson in trouble and it’s off to Smith for a camel clutch.

Anderson fights out and uppercuts his way to freedom but Archer kicks him in the face and drops a leg for two. Smith’s belly to belly gets two and the Squad goes high/low for two more. A missed charge in the corner lets Anderson hit an enziguri and it’s off to Gallows so house can be cleaned.

Some kicks to Archer’s face put him down and Gallows is all fired up. Gallows hits a reverse full nelson slam but walks into a Hart Attack for another near fall. The Killer Bomb (powerbomb/full nelson slam combination) is good for the same with Anderson coming in for the save. Smith and Anderson go to the floor, leaving Archer to miss the moonsault. The Magic Killer gives the Club the win at 9:13.

Rating: C. This was fine for four big, power guys beating each other up for a little while. The Club was white hot at this point so it makes perfect sense to have them win here. At the same time, the Squad is an awesome team who was coming into their own at this point. I could go for more of these two on a bigger stage, though maybe in another year or so.

Here are the final four for the Tag Team tournament:

Bollywood Boyz

Bullet Club

Teaze N Sleaze

Reno Scum

Preview for the final show.

Episode eight opens with a preview for tonight’s show. These things don’t work so well in marathon form.

The Akbars (Ali and Omar) are tired of being discriminated against, including when they were eliminated from the Tag Team Title tournament “last week”. Tonight, they’ll unleash some of that anger.

Los Luchas and Sonjay Dutt are ready for their six man tag.

Akbars/PJ Black vs. Sonjay Dutt/Los Luchas

Ali and Phoenix start things off and it’s an early double 619 to Ali’s head. Sonjay and PJ come in with Black underestimating Dutt’s flipping abilities. A hurricanrana has Black in trouble so he dropkicks Dutt outside where the Akbars can beat on him. Back in and Omar works on the armbar before Black comes in for a chinlock. Dutt fights up and hits a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle, setting up the hot tag off to Phoenix so things can pick up.

Everything breaks down and the Luchas hit some fast dropkicks. A moonsault and a Swanton hit the Akbars, followed by Dutt diving onto Black. The big running flip dives have the villains in even more trouble but Omar hits Zokre with a release fisherman’s suplex. Dutt is back in with a tornado DDT, followed by Phoenix spearing Ali down. Black comes back in with a top rope double stomp to put Phoenix away at 7:56.

Rating: C. Just a fun match with a bunch of people flying around to pop the crowd a few times and that’s a good idea later on in a taping like this. Dutt is an entertaining guy to watch and there’s a reason he was being pushed all the way to the X-Division Title at this point. Good little match here, which is often one of the best things you can do.

Post match the Akbars beat the Luchas down and Black adds a superkick to Dutt.

Video on Nick Aldis, who has become more complete now that he has a child.

Here’s Chael Sonnen in the ring for his Bad Words talking segment. His first guest is the future World Champion, Chris Mordetzky. Chris talks about Sonnen beating British MMA fighter Michael Bisping, so now Mordetzky is going to beat a British wrestler in Nick Aldis. Then after winning the match, he can go to Aldis’ house and tell Nick’s wife Mickie James to make him a steak (Sonnen used the same line to hype a fight). Aldis comes out to say there’s a problem if Chris ever brings up Mickie again. Sonnen: “She doesn’t know how to make steak?” The brawl is on with the Master Lock leaving Aldis laying.

After Aldis is taken out, MMA fighter Phil Baroni is in the crowd so Sonnen insults him, leading to the referees having to hold Baroni back.

Video on Eric Young and Bobby Roode’s history together. They used to be friends and then rivals, but tonight they’re fighting for a shot at the World Title.

Cyrus asks Sonnen about what just happened and gets blown off.

Video on Amber Gallows, who might be in the Women’s Title tournament. Karen Jarrett gets to talk, because….I have no idea actually. Were there no female wrestlers who could talk here?

GFW World Title Tournament First Round: Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young

Roode’s King of the Mountain Title isn’t on the line. They slug it out to start with Young getting the better of it off a backdrop. The fight heads outside with Sonnen talking about Young wearing pink while also being in charge of Sanity in NXT. My goodness the timing is odd here with a mix of original commentary and redone material. Roode dropkicks him off the apron and stops to pose before slapping on a waistlock.

Back up and they run the ropes with neither being able to get anywhere. That means a double clothesline for the double knockdown and it’s time to slug it out again. Young slides between Roode’s legs and hits the belly to belly. The top rope elbow gets two but the piledriver is countered into Roode’s spinebuster.

Roode stays on him with the Crossface but Young is too close to the ropes. A Falcon Arrow gives Roode two more so he yells at the referee, allowing Young to score with a big boot. The piledriver is countered again, this time into a failed Roode Bomb attempt. Young tries a sunset flip but Roode drops down into a cradle with a grab of the rope for the pin at 9:13.

Rating: C+. You had to expect that two people who knew each other this well would have a good match and that’s what they did here. Roode cheating to win fits him perfectly and it’s pretty clear that he’s going to the finals to face Aldis. Young losing is always nice to see, especially when he’s this version, which drove me absolutely up the wall for a long time.

Here are the updated brackets:

Nick Aldis

Chris Mordetzky

Shelton Benjamin

Bobby Roode

In the back, Aldis can’t get to Mordetzky to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Just like last time, this was perfectly watchable but nothing that I’ve going to think about after about ten more minutes. The wrestling was fine, the stories, while few and far between, were acceptable and while commentary wasn’t very good, it certainly wasn’t horrible. The problem is that it’s just not a show you need to see and is more of a curiosity than anything else. Having four straight episodes would seem like a bit much but it actually doesn’t drag at all. It’s fine, but not worth your time.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/11/20/new-paperback-complete-1997-monday-night-raw-reviews/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Live
Date: January 8, 2016
Location: Sands Bethlehem Events Center, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

So due to the cancellations of the India and Gulf Coast tours (due to “issues”), we get a special live edition of One Night Only. The only good that comes out of this is I don’t have to search for the show for months before I can get it done so two people can read it. At least in this case the stories are current so there might be something important here. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick preview of the show, which only has a few matches announced due to the really short turnaround. The big story tonight is the return of Beer Money, who will be facing Bram/Eric Young in a very quickly put together feud.

X-Division Title: DJZ vs. Mandrews vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Tigre Uno

Elimination rules. Tigre Uno is defending against the same people he’s fought for months now. Mandrews is now a full on Dynamic Dude with a skateboard and backwards hat. Uno is in a big shoulder wrap after his injury at Bound For Glory. It’s a brawl to start as this is under tornado rules. Just what we needed. DJZ is quickly sent outside so everyone else can brawl, including Tigre suplexing Steve for two.

Back in and DJZ gets a good looking dropkick to knock Mandrews outside. Good. Stay out there. Mandrews comes back in for two off a hard hurricanrana to DJZ, leaving Tigre to spinwheel kick Steve in the face. A Tower of Doom is broken up with some kicks, leaving Mandrews to dropkick Tigre out to the floor. The fans are behind Steve here for reasons I don’t want to understand.

Mandrews flips out onto Tigre and swings his legs back inside to trip DJZ. That means it’s time to skateboard down the ramp into a headscissors to send DJZ into Steve. Tigre dives onto all three of them before dropping a top rope seated senton for two on Crazzy. Back up and Steve grabs a crossface chicken wing on Tigre’s bad arm in the middle of the ring. Ever the schnook, Mandrews drops a shooting star on both of them to break the hold and pin Steve.

After the elimination, Steve snaps and puts Tigre in the hold again. So I guess that’s a heel turn? Mandrews misses another shooting star but grabs a rollup to get rid of DJZ. We’re down to one on one and Mandrews goes after Tigre’s bad arm. A belly to back gets two on the champ but Tigre breaks up another shooting star (good), setting up a C4 to retain the title at 10:21.

Rating: C. This was more fun than their usual matches but can we please get some fresh faces in this division? Tigre is turning into a special X-Division Champion with a long reign but there’s no way he holds the thing until Destination X when people remember the title exists. On the other hand, I have no idea what people see in Mandrews. He’s a skateboard and a ton of shooting star presses. How is that entertaining?

Post match here’s Gregory Helms to stare down Tigre again. Helms implies that time is running out on Tigre’s reign. Fans: “3 COUNT!” Josh: “Gregory Shane Helms is, in my opinion, coming for the X-Division Title!”

Eric Young, now with fresh arm tattoos, says he and Bram are the only news anyone is going to be talking about in the very near future. Beer Money being back makes people happy but Young and Bram are never happy. Young rants about Matt Hardy costing him the World Title.

Aiden O’Shea vs. Rockstar Spud

Spud does the old Chris Jericho pose by laying against the barricade. After the bell (at least I hope after), Aiden offers Spud a chance to walk out and take the countout instead of a beating. O’Shea keeps calling Spud a mutt as Spud teases leaving, only to come back and flip the big guy off. Aiden pounds him down and keeps talking trash on the mic, shouting that this is a heavyweight division.

The announcers don’t think this is a match because they can’t remember a bell ringing three minutes ago. Spud drives him into the corner but O’Shea shoves him down again. Unfortunately he finds the mic again and talks more trash before pounding in some forearms. Josh throws in a line about Spud being a replacement for Mahabali Shera, whose tires were deflated earlier in the day. Wait it was earlier in the day and he couldn’t get a taxi here? I mean, open a case and do the Shera Shuffle (or is it the Shake?) because IT’S SWEEPING THE NATION!

A backbreaker stuns Spud and Aiden is still talking about how stupid Spud really is. Spud comes back with a baseball slide to knock O’Shea to the floor, followed by a nice dive. O’Shea sends him hard into the barricade and then the announcers’ table, drawing some VERY loud swearing from Spud. Josh: “I guess this was a match.” The referee counting didn’t seem to give Josh the hint. Back in and Spud starts getting fired up, including a double bird and another F bomb. An enziguri and some forearms have O’Shea in trouble, followed by the Underdog for the pin at 9:33.

Rating: D. I’m really not sure what to make of this one. It’s easy to make fun of Josh for not knowing that it was a match because it really wasn’t like a match for a long stretch. Instead it was much more like Aiden cutting a promo and yelling at Spud until we got a quick match. I’ll give them credit for trying something but this mostly missed.

Kurt Angle and Drew Galloway are ready when the Wolves come in. The Wolves came in and said they want a match with the two of them. Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz come in to add themselves. This might have been from Tuesday.

We look at Carter winning the title on Tuesday and see his post match victory speech where he basically says he told us so. He’s called himself several things since arriving in TNA including the new game. With this title, he may not be the new game anymore but he’s certainly going to change it.

Robbie E. vs. Mike Bennett

Before the match, Maria comes out and asks if we believe in the Miracle. Robbie goes right after him to start and fires off some right hands to knock Mike out to the floor. A nice dive takes Bennett down, meaning Mike has already taken more offense than he should have already. Robbie tries a hurricanrana on the floor but Mike pulls him up and swings him head first into the barricade to take over.

Back in and a big boot gets two on Robbie before we hit the chinlock. Robbie fights up again but can’t hit the Boom Drop. He can’t hit a high cross body either but the second Boom Drop connects to knock Mike out to the apron. The delay gives me time to realize that Robbie E. wears the same style shorts that Alexa Bliss wears. Back in and Mike hits a quick cutter, followed by a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku driver for the pin at 7:33.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Keep in mind that this was a debut for someone who was supposed to be a top star. Robbie is a solid midcard act but this should have been just a step above a squash. Instead it was a back and forth match with Robbie hitting his finisher. Who in the world thought this was a good way to book someone’s debut? Horrible booking here and it showed very badly.

Post match the finisher is named Divine Intervention. Bennett promises to build a kingdom of miracles.

Gail Kim is happy for the gauntlet match because she won the first Knockouts Title in the same kind of match. Whoever wins is in for a fight. JB goes over some of the people in the match, actually trying to pretend that Kong isn’t going to win. That’s adorable.

Video on the Knockouts, basically giving a quick profile on each. This should have been on Impact.

Gauntlet Match

This is a mini Royal Rumble but it turns into a regular match when we’re down to two with the winner becoming #1 contender. Madison Rayne is in at #1 and Jade is in at #2. They botch a headscissors to start with Jade going down anyway, only to send Madison over the top and out to the apron. It’s way too early for an elimination though and Madison gets back in but misses an enziguri.

Jade gets kicked out of the corner and slapped in the ribs a few times until it’s Rebel in at #3. A quick spinning kick to the head (drawing the second Holly Holm reference of the night) drops Madison as we get a weak NXT chant. Rayne has to try to fight both of them off until it’s Chelsea (unfortunately not the gorgeous one that hung out with Desmond Wolfe but rather Daniel Bryan’s version of Claire Lynch) in at #4.

Chelsea can’t quite eliminate Rebel but does give Madison a breather. The pairs fight against the ropes until it’s Marti Bell in at #5 to give the Dollhouse yet another advantage. Rebel does her splits choke in the corner to keep Chelsea in trouble and the Dollhouse dominates. We still have no eliminations until it’s Deonna (recently of NXT) in at #6. Deonna takes down Rebel and Marti with a bad looking double clothesline as the ring is getting too full. A triple spear puts the Dollhouse down and Rebel is knocked out.

Awesome Kong is in at #7 and it’s time to clear some room. Kong starts cleaning house and uses the other Dollhouse members as projectiles in a smart move. Chelsea and Deonna try to double team the monster and get chokeslammed at the same time. Both are quickly eliminated and it’s Velvet Sky in at #8 to give us a final grouping of Sky, Rayne, Kong, Jade and Bell. Velvet starts knocking the Dollhouse around and the Beautiful People actually knock Kong down.

Marti gets low bridged to the apron but Velvet doesn’t bother to eliminate her. Rayne takes care of Marti for her partner but Velvet is eliminated a few seconds later, leaving us with Madison, Kong and Jade. Kong stands on Rayne’s hand as Pope talks about being in this kind of match before. Josh: “You’ve been in a #1 contenders gauntlet match for the Knockouts Title?”

That’s why Josh Matthews is a horrible commentator in one sentence. Pope is trying to sound like a professional and apply some of his experience to what we’re watching but Josh has to try and make himself sound smart instead. I’m so glad to see Josh getting himself over instead of doing his job. Kong puts Jade on her shoulders and swings her at Madison, only to have Jade get knocked out to the floor and get us down to one on one.

Rayne is quickly taken down to the mat and put in a leg lock which doesn’t go anywhere. Some clotheslines have little effect on Kong but a missile dropkick actually puts her down for two. The shocked look on Kong’s face is great, only to have her grab the Implant Buster to put Rayne away at 16:08.

Rating: D. These things just don’t work. They just don’t. I know TNA has tried this match for years now and I can only think of one or two that wasn’t a borderline disaster. I don’t know if it’s the way they’re booked or how much time they take but these things are almost always bad. Granted in this case it was the lack of any doubt about Kong winning because who else was going to get the title shot here?

The Wolves are glad to have Beer Money back, even though Beer Money is the past. They’d love to face Beer Money any time but here are Eli Drake and Jesse Godderz to interrupt. A lot of bragging leads to a pull apart.

Trevor Lee vs. Pepper Parks

Parks is an indy regular. Trevor jumps him at the bell and stomps Pepper down in the corner, allowing Pope to get in a “salt in pepper’s wounds” line. Pepper sends Trevor to the floor for a flip dive and stops to play to the crowd a bit. It seems to work this time so points for trying something so many people forget to do. Trevor comes back with a knee to the face as Josh actually brings up Trevor being part of the GFW invasion. Lee puts a knee in Parks’ back and pulls back on the arm for a painful looking hold before actually getting a near fall.

Back up and Lee does his cool belly to belly suplex to counter a cross body and we hit the chinlock. Parks simplifies things a bit by kicking Trevor in the face and gets two off a backslide. A fisherman’s neckbreaker gets the same and Parks cuts off a comeback with a Sky High. Trevor gets creative though with what looks like a dropkick but turns it into a stomp to the chest. That and a fisherman’s buster into a small package are enough to pin Parks at 8:05.

Rating: C+. Is there a reason Parks doesn’t have a job somewhere? He’s a name you hear about all over the place but he’s only been brought in to job here and there. Lee continues to be entertaining and could have a future in TNA if they don’t manage to screw him up like they do almost everyone else.

The Dollhouse celebrates in the back and Kong ACTUALLY TALKS, telling Kim to clean that title up before she comes for it. Has she ever talked before? If so I’d hope it was something more than this. She’s actually not a bad talker and sounded a lot more confident than you would have expected.

Pope is in the ring for some reason. He’s been insulting someone on commentary lately and would like to talk to him face to face. This brings Grado dancing out to the ring, much to Pope’s disgust. Pope talks about how they’re not exactly friends and Grado says something I can barely understand, talking about meeting Pope in 2011. They took a picture together and Grado got TWENTY SIX LIKES on Facebook!

Pope gets annoyed all over again and calls Grado a joke for dancing all over the place instead of taking this ring seriously. Grado offers to speak in an American accent (and not a terrible one actually) so Pope can understand him. He says he’d fight anyone in the back to prove himself to Pope and that means it’s time for a match.

Before we get to the match though, a quick question: why has TNA not had Pope work a match? He’s not exactly a great commentator and he’s still active on the indy circuit, even holding a title in OVW. He was a total heel here though and I have no idea why as he’s normally a face commentator. This was really weird and Pope was doing everything differently than he’s been doing in recent months.

Grado vs. Abyss

Monster’s Ball of course with Abyss setting up the rules by telling Grado he likes to dance too. Grado actually dances before kicking Abyss low for an early advantage before the bell. It’s time for some early weapons but Grado knocks the cheese grater away from the monster. Some trashcan shots have little effect on Abyss and he knocks it right into Grado’s face to take over.

We get a table bridged between the apron and the barricade plus the bag of tacks poured out on the floor. Grado is smart enough to use the time to get the cheese grater and blast Abyss low, followed by some kendo stick shots to drop the monster. Abyss is getting up as Grado heads up top, only to have a trashcan pelted at his head, knocking him down through the table for a huge crash.

Instead of just ending it though, here’s the barbed wire board to make it even worse. It’s also Janice time and of course it gets stuck in the turnbuckle. Grado kicks him onto the barbed wire board and now Pope is on Grado’s side. Another board is put on top of Abyss to make a sandwich, followed by a top rope splash to crush him even worse. Grado grabs Janice but gets chokeslammed onto the tacks to give Abyss the pin at 9:23.

Rating: D. What was the point of this? Grado is called a goofy loser, then does goofy stuff in the match and then gets beaten? I’m not a Grado fan but this felt like a way to make him look horrible instead of treating him like someone they might want to capitalize on. The match was your usual Monster’s Ball, which you can almost paint by numbers anymore.

Drew thanks Kurt for the chance and promises to bring it on Tuesday.

Tag Team Titles: Eli Drake/Jesse Godderz vs. Kurt Angle/Drew McIntyre vs. Wolves

Wolves are defending. Jesse headlocks Davey to start but Richards tags in Eddie as Pope almost calls this a WWE Tag Team Title match. Drake comes in and suplexes Edwards for two, only to get a WE WANT ANGLE chant. Instead they get Jesse kicking Eddie in the head but getting suplexed down a few seconds later. Drake is smart enough to pull Davey off the apron to break up the tag, leaving Eddie to tag in Angle.

It’s time to bust out the Germans, including one to both Wolves at the same time. Drew comes in and helps his partner clean house Eddie finally crotches Drew on top to put him in the Tree of Woe, allowing Richards to add a top rope headbutt for two. Nice sequence there. Eddie and Drew get in a chopping contest in opposite corners before deciding to chop each other for a bit.

Drake finally breaks it up with clotheslines but Angle comes back in with an Angle Slam to Jesse. It’s Drew nailing Eddie with the Claymore to put all six down. Drake and Jesse bail to the floor, leaving the other teams to slug it out. That’s fine with the Wolves who both hit the ropes to take out the cowards on the floor.

Drew flips over the top to take out all four and throws Drake back in for an Angle Slam, only to have Davey slide in for a save. The referee gets distracted, allowing Drake to nail Drew with a title for another near fall. Jesse kicks Kurt low but gets sent to the floor, leaving Eli to take the Wolves’ Chasing the Dragon knockoff for two. Not that it matters as Eddie grabs a leg bar to make Eli tap at 10:13.

Rating: B-. This is the standard tag team formula these days and I’m still not a fan. The matches rarely last very long before the whole thing breaks down into pure chaos. It’s still entertaining enough to work but I could go for a more traditional style of tag match with two teams instead of three once in awhile. Still though, match of the night so far.

The good guys all pose together post match.

Lashley is sick of Tyrus costing him the World Title and wants some revenge.

Lashley vs. Tyrus

This has potential, though Lashley’s orange headband kind of ruins the image. Some running shoulders to the ribs in the corner have Tyrus in trouble as the announcers unfortunately remember that Tyrus has a World Title shot coming to him in the near future. Lashley can’t get the legs so he goes with a standing armbar instead. Josh actually talks some strategy by pointing out that Lashley likes to fight in close quarters.

That’s accurate but completely forgotten when Lashley jumps onto Tyrus’ shoulders for a standing cross armbreaker. Well that was awesome. The annoying TNA fans want Shera as Tyrus drops down to break the hold before suplexing him over the top and out to the floor. With the referee checking on Lashley, Tyrus pulls the top turnbuckle off, which I’m sure won’t come back to haunt him.

A headbutt to the chest puts Lashley down again for two and we hit the nerve hold. Thankfully it doesn’t last long as Tyrus throws him over with a t-bone suplex before sending him hard into the exposed buckle. Lashley shrugs it off but misses a charge (mostly) into the post, allowing Tyrus to get two off a cross body. They go over to the exposed buckle but the referee gets bumped. For some reason this fires Lashley up and he goes totally insane, sending Tyrus into the exposed buckle TEN TIMES IN A ROW! Ok so they were really gentle shots but still it’s a cool idea. The spear puts Tyrus away at 9:35.

Rating: D+. This could have been a lot better if they just beat each other up for ten minutes but instead it was Tyrus laying around and doing his slow offense because he’s not that interesting. At least Lashley didn’t lose again as I’m really getting tired of seeing him lose every important match he ever has. Not horrible here and the ten buckle spot was a new idea but Lashley needs someone else to throw around.

The announcers recap the show.

Beer Money video.

Roode and Storm are ready.

Beer Money vs. Bram/Eric Young

Storm headlocks Young down to start and drops him with a Russian legsweep, followed by a knee drop from Roode. With the wrestling not working, Young bites Roode on the shoulder and makes the tag off to Bram. Everything breaks down and Bram gets double hiptossed. Young is rammed into his partner to send both guys out to the floor. That’s fine with Roode who backdrops Storm onto both guys for a crash.

There’s the double suplex but Bram breaks up SHOUTING THEIR NAMES, which must be considered the big spot. Things settle down with Storm getting beaten down in the wrong corner until he grabs a running neckbreaker on Young. It’s not enough for the hot tag though as Bram keeps Storm down and grabs a chinlock.

Roode and Young yell at each other on the apron, allowing Young to take Bram’s place with no tag. Those horrible villains. Storm fights up and catches Bram in a double clothesline, only to have Young pull Roode off the apron. Not that it matters as Storm gets in another clothesline a few moments later and makes the hot tag.

Everything breaks down and Storm busts out a hurricanrana from the top, setting up a top rope splash from Roode for two. The villains come back with a Hart Attack for the same but Storm breaks up the piledriver with a Last Call. Now Beer Money gets to SHOUT THEIR NAMES and it’s the DWI (Drinking While Investing, a suplex into a powerbomb) for the pin on Bram at 15:05.

Rating: B-. I liked this one more than the three way tag as it had more structure (and time to be fair) before everything broke down. Beer Money is still a good team though I’m not sure what they’re going to do after they have the dream match against the Wolves. That’s good for a one off match or maybe two but after that, the division is still horribly dry.

A big celebration ends the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This was WAY better than most One Night Only shows but it felt like a long episode of Impact instead of something special. It’s not a bad show and the two tag matches are both entertaining, but as usual this felt like a contractual obligation instead of something they needed to air. Unless you absolutely loved Impact earlier this week, don’t waste your time with this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

TNA World Cup of Wrestling III
Date: August 5, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

Dang it I knew I’d get back to these one day. For some reason (likely because no one likes them) these are getting harder and harder to find online and the best I can do is usually two and a half months after the air date. In this case it’s another team competition, which is usually one of the better ideas they have. There will be four teams of six wrestlers each. All of the teams are going to face each other once, plus a four way with each of the captains. The teams with the most points (1 point per win) meet in an elimination tag for the whole thing. Let’s get to it.

No opening video for a change.

It’s time for Jeremy Borash to waste a lot of time by holding the live draft. We open with the introductions of the four captains:

Bobby Roode

Eric Young

Ethan Carter III

Jeff Hardy

Josh rips on JB for reading off a clipboard but praises Carter despite him carrying one of his own. Also ignore the part where Josh says Carter will make a great World Champion, despite winning the title a month before this aired. ALSO ignore the fact that Hardy was out with a broken leg three months before this aired.

We keep wasting time with an opening statement from each captain. Ethan (with his arm in the big brace) says he’s been thinking about his loss last year at the World Cup and he can’t wait to make it up. Young doesn’t want to hear from the fans because he won this last year. Roode and Hardy keep it more simple by saying they’ll win.

Now here’s the thing: it’s going to take a LONG time to get through the picks so I’m not going to say “this person picked this person” step by step. Instead, here are the teams in full with the captains listed first:

Bobby Roode, Lashley, Austin Aries, Magnus, Mr. Anderson, Taryn Terrell

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, James Storm, Awesome Kong, Jesse Godderz, Robbie E.

Eric Young, Bram, Abyss, Havok, Samuel Shaw, Manik

Jeff Hardy, Gunner, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Rockstar Spud

There were only two funny bits here: Carter picked Jeremy Borash first. Carter: “Just kidding it’s Tyrus.” Second, when Robbie came out, he danced around, kissed Kong, and shouted I’M NOT LAST!!! Also Josh thought Roode was going to pick Hornswoggle when he said from Green Bay, Wisconsin. As usual, Josh isn’t funny.

The picks are done but JB says the opening match still isn’t ready to start.

Quick rules explanation.

Bram vs. Austin Aries

The first opening bell: 28 minutes into the show, leaving us with about two hours and twelve minutes to get through ten matches. Aries is quickly dumped out to the floor and sent into the barricade as the announcers are actually still on topic. I give it ten minutes. Aries gets smart by taking out the knee as Josh is showing JB a photo of him at Manchester United’s stadium. Dang they didn’t even make it three minutes.

The Last Chancery sends Bram going to the ropes for a break and things settle down again. Bram stomps on the chest to break up a sunset flip attempt as about four fans chant ANGRY JESUS. Off to a chinlock on Aries for a bit before he grabs a second Last Chancery. So the first one was the next to Last Chancery?

Back up and Aries goes to the apron to send Bram face first into alternating buckles over and over. A missile dropkick sets up the running corner dropkick but Bram gets a boot up for a block. An Edge-O-Matic gets two for Bram and he starts pounding on Aries’ back for good measure. Bram slowly kicks at him and is quickly rolled up for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a bad match until a pretty slow ending. Aries continues to be one of the best acts in the company’s history and of course he’s now gone because they decided to keep going with Angle and Hardy on top instead of going back to him in the years since he lost the title.

Team Roode – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

EC3 lists off the members of his team and promises to win. Kong looks terrified when the BroMans (with DJZ) start talking. This is even more filler.

James Storm vs. Lashley

Storm has Khoya (Mahabali Shera) with him. Feeling out process to start with Storm dropping down for some pushups. He can’t throw Lashley around though so James bails to the floor and meets with Khoya. The instructions seem to work as Khoya grabs the leg, sending Lashley outside after him. That’s about it for the success as Lashley shoulders Storm down inside and rams him into the buckle a few times.

Khoya blocks a spear attempt and Storm finally takes over with a Backstabber. Storm’s enziguri starts a bad cowbell chant but Lashley fires off right hands to make his comeback. Neither finisher can hit and Storm gets two off a neckbreaker. A spinebuster should set up Lashley’s spear but another Khoya distraction….doesn’t matter as the spear connects to give Lashley the win.

Rating: D+. Now we’re getting into the standard One Night Only match formula: short matches that don’t have time to go anywhere and have no heat on them because they’re part of some big show long idea, meaning this really doesn’t mean a ton. You can feel the lack of caring in the crowd though and it’s not a good sign going forward.

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Team Carter – 0

Storm blames Khoya for the loss and demands that Khoya bow to him.

Roode thinks his team will win.

BroMans vs. Magnus/Mr. Anderson

Jesse and Magnus get things going with Magnus taking over off a wristlock. Anderson comes in and works on the arm as well until it’s off to Robbie, who walks into a hiptoss. The announcers debate game shows as Magnus gets two off a suplex. Some heel double teaming lets Jesse take over and he actually wins a slugout against Magnus. As you might expect, the announcers spent the segment trying to figure out what to call Magnus and Mickie James.

Robbie chinlocks Magnus for a bit before some elbows to the BroMans’ faces allow for the tag to Anderson. I can’t really call it hot as the fans didn’t seem to notice but it was in fact a tag. Everything breaks down but DJZ distracts the referee. Anderson goes after him and gets hairspray in the eyes, allowing Robbie to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Worst match of the show so far but a lot of that is due to Anderson and Magnus having gone through the motions for the last year (or several years in Anderson’s case). That being said, the ending makes sense as former World Tag Team Champions should be able to beat a thrown together team with no history.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 0

Team Hardy – 0

Young says his team will win.

Manik/Abyss vs. Rockstar Spud/Davey Richards

This could be decent. Davey and Manik trade some basic stuff to start before it’s off to Spud vs. Abyss. Spud goes right at him and has about as much success as you might expect. A middle rope forearm staggers Abyss but Spud has to bite his way out of a chokeslam attempt. Spud actually puts him down with a missile dropkick and Abyss looks stunned.

Manik tags himself in and gets punched out, only to have Abyss run both good guys over. It’s Spud in trouble now as JB talks about James Storm’s stable. Davey leads a KILL SPUD KILL chant as the Revolution guys take turns on chinlocks. The announcers make their picks for the whole competition. I’m kind of stunned that they’ve stayed on topic this long.

Spud crawls through Manik’s legs to make the tag off to Davey for the rapid fire kicks in the corner. Everything breaks down and the giant is sent to the floor, allowing Davey and Spud to double team Manik in the corner. Abyss takes a suicide dive from Davey, leaving Spud to hit the Underdog on Manik. A top rope double stomp gives Davey the easy pin.

Rating: C. Very simple idea here but the match worked well enough all around. Richards and Spud were a good underdog team and fought off a regular pairing. Abyss is good for a monster who can come in at any time and play his normal role as well as anyone else. Totally watchable match here which is as good as it gets around here.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 0

Hardy says his team will win.

Crazzy Steve vs. Samuel Shaw

I’ve had nightmares about things like this before. Steve comes in with a zombie cymbal playing monkey around his neck. Shawn frames the monkey but Steve won’t let him touch it. The announcers talk about Brian Stiffler’s pierced nipples because of course they do. Now it’s off to a discussion of mall stores because they like Steve’s belt. Shaw shoves Steve down and crawls for the monkey but Steve crawls over as well and shakes his head no. The fans (save for one guy) are silent for most of this.

Steve bites Shaw’s face and it’s time to play hot potato with the monkey. Now Shaw crawls after the referee as Josh sings Taryn Terrell’s theme music. Shaw hates Steve and I hate the horrible punches that Steve uses for his comeback. With Steve down, Shaw picks up the monkey and goes up, only to miss a guillotine legdrop. Fans: “LET’S GO MONKEY!” Steve picks up the monkey but the referee takes it away, setting up a low blow and Shaw’s standing choke for the win.

Rating: F. A little over a year ago, Bully Ray and Rockstar Spud beat the Dirty Heels in the funniest match I’ve ever seen. That match worked because Ray and Spud work really well together as an oddball combination. It felt like they were told to go out there and be funny for ten minutes while being allowed to pick the details themselves. This felt like they were given a bad idea and had no idea how to make it work, which is why comedy in wrestling rarely works.

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Carter – 1

Team Young – 1

Havok vs. Awesome Kong

Hardcore (not announced to the crowd) because I don’t think anyone wants to see these two have a regular match. They start fighting in the aisle as you would expect them to as Kong takes over off a trashcan shot. Josh: “No need for Duke Droese here.” Havok’s weapon shots knock Kong into the ring but Kong goes all ninja by spinning a pipe around. That’s the coolest thing I’ve seen on these shows in forever.

Of course the fans want tables as Havok beats Kong down again. Here’s a ladder because these two don’t listen to the fans. Josh starts asking about having water infused with fruit. Seriously where does he get this stuff? Kong “chokeslams” Havok onto the ladder (read as she shoved Havok down) for the pin.

Rating: D-. I can’t call it a failure when it had the ninja stick thing from Kong but this was another match limited by the time. Then again these two have never had the chemistry that people expected from them. Granted that could be due to the fact that big power wrestlers like this ALMOST NEVER WORK WELL TOGETHER but people want to see it anyway for reasons I’ll never understand.

Team Roode – 2

Team Carter – 2

Team Hardy – 1

Team Young – 1

Josh thinks that leaderboard looks like Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy on top of a golf tournament. I’d ask what that means but I’m sure it’s just me being an internet nerd.

Tyrus vs. Gunner

I had forgotten Gunner was a thing. Gunner charges right at the monster to start as Josh talks about Tyrus always being in the gym. I think he meant Gunner but who am I to doubt Josh Matthews? Tyrus slams him down and puts on a bearhug. Announcers’ topic: celebrities who Tyrus has worked for as a bodyguard, including Pete “Marinovich”.

I think Josh meant Maravich but…..dang he’s said so many stupid things tonight that I’m running out of insults. Gunner’s powerslam fails and it’s back to the bearhug. Josh keeps up his stupid namedropping and Gunner finally slams him. Josh: “Like when Hogan slammed Andre.” Not that it matters as the spike to the throat gives Tyrus the pin. Josh: “If Tyrus had been in Ford’s Theater that night, President Lincoln wouldn’t have been assassinated.” JB: “Yeah but he would be really old.”

Rating: D-. Another bad match as Josh has gone from annoying to obnoxious on commentary. I mean…..dang he sounds stupid with so many of the things he says. The commentary on these shows have always been a disaster and that’s the case here too. The match was bad again because they don’t have time to do anything and clearly don’t care in the slightest.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Team Hardy – 1

Taryn says she’s ready to compete like a champion.

Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Taryn grabs a headlock and headscissors to start as they seem to actually be trying more than anyone has in the last few matches. Gail gets up and sends her face first into the buckle, which Josh says we can experience by running into a tree backwards. Both women crash out to the floor as Josh talks about subliminal messages based on the IMPACT ring skirts. They can’t even afford a ONE NIGHT ONLY ring skirt to make this seem a bit more important? I mean, it looks like the least important show ever so it can’t be that difficult.

Now we debate whether counting for a DQ should count towards a countout as Taryn grabs a half crab. The silence from the crowd here is borderline eerie. Josh: “What’d you have for lunch today?” Taryn’s middle rope clothesline gets two as Josh writes the foreword to JB’s book. Gail misses a charge and hits the floor again but Russian legsweeps Taryn into the barricade. You would think she would be smarter than that, being a WRESTLER and all. Back in and Taryn fires off some clotheslines, showing some of the better fire all night. Gail ducks a high cross body though and counters the Taryn Cutter into a rollup for the pin.

Rating: C+. Maybe it’s Taryn being gorgeous, maybe it’s the idea of Jeremy Borash book actually sounding appealing or maybe it’s the effort put in here for a change but this was one of the more entertaining matches on the show so far. Of course that’s on a sliding scale because this show is another disaster that is clearly just here to fill in a slow but take what you can get.

Team Carter – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Hardy – 2

Team Young – 1

Roode promises he’ll win the captains match.

Bobby Roode vs. Eric Young vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III

One fall to a finish and no tags to start which makes things even better. Josh incorrectly says Team Young is mathematically eliminated from going to the finals as everyone goes after Eric in the corner. Carter and Young are sent to the floor, leaving Roode to work on Hardy’s arm. The taping schedule becomes an issue again here as Josh goes on a rant about how Carter should be World Champion already.

Carter comes back in and switches places with Roode, leaving Josh to insult JB for trying to be British. A belly to belly gets Eric a two count on Hardy and Josh freaks out that Carter is bleeding. With Roode still nowhere to be seen, Carter and Young start arguing over who is going to pin Hardy. In other words, it’s the same uninspired stuff you’ve seen every single time you watch a multi-man match.

Roode comes back in with some running clotheslines but Carter breaks up the comeback. Hardy breaks up a piledriver attempt from Young so Eric piledrives Roode instead. Back up and Eric bites Hardy’s head, actually not drawing any jokes from Josh. With Roode and Carter fighting on the floor, Hardy hits a quick Twist of Fate to pin Young.

Rating: C. The star power helped but this was every multi-man match you’ve seen in a very long time. Hardy going to the finals was pretty obvious and at least the fans reacted a little bit for the pin. Young losing is almost always a good thing to see as well but this was just a dull match that has been covered to death already.

Team Carter – 3

Team Hardy – 3

Team Roode – 2

Team Young – 1

Carter beats Hardy down post match.

Long recap of the whole show thus far.

Team Hardy vs. Team Carter

Jeff Hardy, Rockstar Spud, Davey Richards, Gail Kim, Crazzy Steve, Gunner

Ethan Carter III, Tyrus, Robbie E., Jesse Godderz, James Storm, Awesome Kong

Survivor Series rules, Storm has Khoya with him and Carter has written HARDY on the bandage over his head. The bell rings but Team Carter is still huddling, allowing Khoya to slip Storm a weapon. Hardy and Carter start things off so Carter tags out to Robbie before any contact. That’s another idea that we’ve seen a hundred times and it’s just as tired as it’s always been.

One shot sends Robbie off to Godderz for a tag as we’re already two minutes into this. Gunner comes in and we finally get a lockup. One shoulder sends Jesse bailing to the corner and it’s off to Carter. That goes nowhere either and it’s off to Tyrus because we didn’t see enough of this match earlier. Just like earlier, Tyrus takes him into the corner and it’s off to Storm……who tags Kong in fifteen seconds later.

Before she can even get both feet in the ring, Jesse tags himself back in. Oh and how lucky we are as we get to see Steve. Wristlocks are exchanged and Steve mostly headscissors him over, giving him the move of the match so far. Now it’s off to Richards vs. Tyrus and FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS GOOD AND HOLY STEVE COMES BACK IN AGAIN. Just freaking wrestle already! Thankfully Tyrus spikes Steve down for the first elimination. Gail comes in and says she wants Kong.

We get the Knockouts showdown and things are instantly more interesting as they do the same stuff they’ve done a dozen times. Kong gets dropkicked to the floor and they brawl up towards the stage for a double countout. It’s Robbie vs. Davey with Richards scoring a modified Crossface for the submission in less than a minute. Jesse comes in and gets headbutted by Gunner and Davey.

A slingshot suplex from Gunner brings in Spud, who is quickly gorilla pressed (read as Jesse lifts him up and moves his arms a bit) about fifteen times in a row, only to have Spud roll him up for the pin. Tyrus comes in for a head vice and the submission from Spud, followed by Hardy rolling Tyrus up for another pin. As you might expect, Josh doesn’t get that Spud was knocked out and thought he tagged Hardy despite not being within ten feet of him. Those eliminations all came in about thirty seconds.

We’re down to Hardy, Davey and Gunner vs. Storm and Carter. Gunner starts working on Storm’s shoulder but Storm hits a quick Last Call to tie things up. Davey rolls Storm up for two and the kickout sends him head first into whatever Khoya had slipped to Carter, giving Ethan another elimination. It’s Hardy vs. Storm/Carter with Jeff pounding away on the captain in the corner.

The Whisper in the Wind mostly misses Storm so Ethan drops Jeff again. Ethan pops up and hits Hardy with the big metal brace on his arm for a DQ elimination. Storm only gets two but he superkicks Jeff on top. It doesn’t knock Jeff out though as he throws Storm down, kicks Khoya away, and drops the Swanton for the pin and the victory.

Rating: D-. As you might have expected, TNA screwed this part up too as they went through eleven eliminations in the span of just over ten minutes because they had to keep up that stupid “no you’re it” nonsense to start. This was yet another uninteresting match with little drama and nothing I’m ever going to remember. Boring stuff, as I think all the fans knew were coming.

As soon as the pin goes down, Josh shouts about how Ethan wasn’t pinned because that’s the most important thing on the show.

The trophy presentation and a recap video wrap things up.

Overall Rating: F-. I know we talk about JBL, Cole and the rest of the WWE announcers being annoying and they’re valid complaints. However, Josh Matthews makes them seem like the patron saints of broadcasting. I cannot remember a time where I sat through a wrestling show wanting to scream at an announcer for all of the stupid, unprofessional, self serving, not funny and downright horrendous things he spent this show going on about.

I get that TNA doesn’t care about these shows, but at least the drivel that the commentators spew serves some purpose other than the amusement of one person. Matthews is following in Tazz’s footsteps on these shows and it’s somehow making them even worse. The wrestling was totally uninspired and dull but Matthews’ commentary made it that much harder to sit through, which continues to make these things the most grueling shows I’ve ever had to sit through. Act like professionals already and maybe you won’t keep getting bounced from one network to another. Or just fire Josh already.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0188BJRGU

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Knockouts Knockdown III
Date: July 1, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Rockstar Spud

I’m finally getting back to these things after a few months away. Not because they didn’t air them or anything but because they’re hard to find. Can you blame people for not wanting to put them up though? It’s another series of qualifying matches for a big gauntlet match to end the show because that’s all these things know how to do. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is standard stuff that you would expect here. I’m thinking the “standard” part is going to be a recurring theme here.

Christy Hemme and Jeremy Borash are in the ring to open the show and explain the concept. This brings out the BroMans to judge the women who will be challenging the Knockouts because they need to fill in time. Jesse is dating Angelina Love and Robbie has dumped Brooke and gotten Velvet Sky fired. He’s single and ready to mingle. The crowd on the other hand sounds like they’re ready to go to a funeral.

After ejecting Christy and JB, Robbie brings out the aspiring Knockouts, lead by Mia Yim (Jade), making this even more dated than it already was. Jesse is handling the interviewing, starting with Mia, whose dream for tonight involves Jesse himself. She thinks of slapping him off the top two years ago, but Jesse says it didn’t count because his mom didn’t see it. Next up is Alisha from Boston, who keeps correcting Jesse that it’s Alisha, not Alicia. She’s better known as Alexxis Neveah and isn’t interested in going home with either BroMan tonight (probably because she’s married to Eddie Edwards).

Su Yung is from Seattle and is asked for her drink of choice. From Starbucks, you start with shots of vanilla and carmel, plus fat free, low calorie soy milk. Much like the other two, Robbie isn’t interested in taking a picture with her due to her taste in milk. Next up is someone Robbie has a crush on: Thea Trinidad, formerly known as Rosita. Robbie bends over to pick up his selfie stick but Thea thinks it’s disgusting. No picture, but then again you’re not aspiring when you’re a former champion in the company.

Solo Darling and her furry ears implies that Jesse and Robbie are a couple and thinks adorable is a number. Laura Dennis (Cherry Bomb) lives by the code of sex, weights and protein shakes, which is finally enough to get a picture with the team. Finally we have Mary Kate from Tampa says she didn’t come here to play games with these buffoons, but she kisses Robbie for a potential advantage in her match. Robbie: “I LIKE HER!!! I WANT TO MARRY HER!!!” DJZ announces the matches for tonight but I’ll leave those for a surprise. Each of the opponents comes out to drag this even further.

This segment ran twenty five minutes, out of a show that runs less than two hours and forty five minutes.

Clips of Gail Kim winning the first competition in 2013.

Clips of Madison Rayne winning the competition last year.

Madison asks Christy Hemme about her family but cuts her off because Madison doesn’t care. She promises to win tonight and get her crown back.

Madison Rayne vs. Alisha

Before the match, Madison tells Earl Hebner to hang on a second. Madison asks Alisha what her name is but doesn’t care to hear it. The crown belong to her so Alisha doesn’t even need to look that way. The opening bell rings over thirty two minutes into the show. A quick rollup gets two on Madison and Alisha sends her into the corner, prompting a demand for a timeout. Alisha hammers away as the commentators have set a record by staying on topic for the first two minutes of a match.

Rayne gets sent outside for a breather before getting two off a rollup of her own. This isn’t the most thrilling stuff in the world so far. Madison slams Alisha’s face into the mat in her signature way before they hit cross bodies at the same time. Madison takes over again with a kick to the head but stops to yell at Hebner, allowing Alisha to get two more off a rollup. Back up and Madison grabs a rollup (and trunks) for the pin to advance to the gauntlet main event.

Rating: D. Oh man this is going to be a long night. Madison is great as the evil stuck up character but I have a bad feeling we’re going to have a bunch of clones fighting the Knockouts. That doesn’t make things interesting because it makes the rest of the card feel like a waste of the time before we find out which Knockout is chosen to win tonight.

Thea Trinidad says she’s been in TNA before (thank goodness) and she’s here tonight get some revenge on Angelina Love for past issues. She talks about the Hardys and Tommy Dreamer mentoring her and this again feels like filling in time.

Angelina Love, with boyfriend Jesse Godderz, says she’s awesome and will be the Queen of the Knockouts tonight. Rebel and Crazzy Steve come up and honk a horn. Did I mention this was taped a long time ago?

Angelina Love vs. Thea Trinidad

Feeling out process to start until Trinidad gets two off a suplex. Love sends her into the middle rope for some choking, followed by some backbreakers for two. A quickly broken chinlock is countered into a small package to give Thea two. Love comes right back with a Hennig necksnap and it’s off to a full nelson with the legs. Back up and Thea kicks her in the face for two, Matrixes away from a kick, and totally botches a bulldog.

After copying three of Trish Stratus’ signature moves (minus the springboard on the bulldog), Thea connects with a moonsault but Jesse gets on the apron for a distraction. Cue Crazzy Steve to pull him off though, allowing Thea to knock Angelina off the apron and out onto Godderz. Apparently that one crash is enough for the countout to advance Trinidad.

Rating: D. So we had to sit through seven and a half minutes to get to part of the Menagerie causing a countout because Love can get knocked down for ten seconds off what was basically a high cross body. Unfortunately I’d assume we’re using this to set up a tag match later in the show because they have no idea how to fill in two and a half hours on a Knockouts show.

Post match Robbie and DJZ come in to help with the beatdown so here’s Knux for the save to set up the six person tag for later. Oh and it’s elimination rules to make it even longer.

Gail Kim, who is pro women’s wrestling, says this is her favorite show of the year. She wants the crown.

Gail Kim vs. Laura Dennis

Before the match, Gail brings up Laura answering an open challenge back in 2013. Gail offers a handshake but Laura pulls her into for a cheap shot to take over early. That’s more personality than the other two have shown so far. Gail avoids a charge in the corner though and sends her face first into the buckle, setting up the figure four around the post. Well she is Canadian after all.

Dennis crawls up the ramp so Gail can’t dive on her. Back in and Laura gets in a knee to the ribs to take over again before busting out some Cattle Mutilation. Gail rolls out of that and ties up the arm while bending Laura’s leg over her shoulder to make it kind of a half crab. The hold looks too awesome to keep it on very long so Gail hits a Stinger Splash and the running cross body to the ribs for two. Eat Defeat puts Dennis away.

Rating: C-. I have a feeling this isn’t getting topped tonight. As you might expect, the most talented in ring Knockout there is and the one who has been wrestling for ten years had a good match. Dennis was solid enough out there, but like I’ve said too often tonight, I can’t get much out of them in a seven minute match and a quick promo.

Quick Knockouts music video. Nice job on showing Taryn in her Dollhouse gimmick after showing her as the old version in the arena.

Havok wants to fight Amazing Kong. Yes Amazing.

Solo Darling vs. Havok

Darling has furry ears and a long tail. Heaven help me she’s wrestling with the tail on. Havok throws her around to start and it’s time to talk about Spud’s pajamas. Solo’s right hands to the stomach have no effect so Havok puts on a weak full nelson. A backbreaker sets up some choking in the corner, followed by some hard running kicks to the jaw. Solo avoids another kick and comes back with some of the lamest shots to the ribs that I’ve ever seen. Havok’s powerbomb is countered with a hurricanrana but a chokeslam ends Darling in a hurry.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but Darling’s offense looked pathetic. To be fair though this was back when Havok was interesting (and employed) so it was cool to see her built up as someone who could fight Kong in a big showdown. Ignore the fact that the showdown wound up being lame of course. Finally, what was up with the tail? I mean…..actually no. I don’t want to know.

Post match Kong’s music sounds like it’s starting but Havok says they’ll fight tonight.

And now, since filling in two hours and forty minutes when you have music videos, interviews and a twenty five minute promo, here’s a fifteen minute match from Impact on November 19, 2014.

Knockouts Title: Havok vs. Gail Kim vs. Taryn Terrell

Havok is defending and this is one fall to a finish. The challengers go right at Havok but get dropped with a double clothesline. Havok throws Gail onto Taryn and then sends her shoulder first into the post. A spinebuster plants Taryn but Gail tries AJ Lee’s Black Widow on the champ. Havok is in trouble and Taryn adds an Indian Deathlock for good measure. Somehow Havok powers out of it and they all fight to the floor with Havok catching Terrell, only to have Gail dive on both of them as we take a break.

Back with Havok still on the floor and Taryn rolling Gail up for two. A running flip neckbreaker puts Gail down again but Havok pulls Taryn from the ring and drops her throat first across the barricade. Gail heads outside also but gets spinebustered onto the floor. Back in and Havok splashes both girls for two but Gail is up first and drapes Havok across the top rope.

A kind of Fameasser from the top puts Havok on the floor but Taryn jumps Gail from behind. Terrell takes her to the top but Havok comes back in to make it a Tower of Doom. The champ stacks them up again but misses a middle rope splash. Taryn and Gail break out of a double chokeslam attempt and hammer away until Gail scores with a DDT. A cross body gets two each before Eat Defeat and an RKO get two for Terrell. Gail rolls up Taryn but gets caught in a sunset flip to give Terrell the title at 14:32.

Rating: B-. This was the best Knockouts match in awhile but it doesn’t mean what TNA wants it to be. First of all, as mentioned, Havok has won something like five matches in TNA over the course of six weeks with one of those being a battle royal. That’s hardly taking the title off Roode after seven months. Also, Terrell pinned Gail, which likely sets up a showdown later. It’s a good match but nowhere near the moment they were hoping for.

Taryn says she wants the crown. These promos have been the exact same thing every time.

Su Yung vs. Taryn Terrell

Yung dances to the ring and freaks out that she’s actually getting to face Terrell. So she’s Bayley’s original character. Feeling out process to start with Taryn grabbing a headlock followed by a shoulder block. Taryn slams her down a few times so Yung shakes her hand in thanks. A monkey flip sends Su down as this is one sided so far. Yung gets in some of her first offense by putting Taryn in the Tree of Woe for some running dropkicks to the ribs. That’s about it for Su though as she gets slammed off the top, followed by a missile dropkick and high cross body for two. The Hot Mess (RKO) sends Taryn to the gauntlet.

Rating: D+. It’s hard to argue with find fault when I have to look at Taryn Terrell for a few minutes. Young had more charisma than any jobber not named Cherry Bomb yet and that made the match a lot easier to sit through. However, it’s still a pretty lame match as we’re merely killing time before the gauntlet match.

Speaking of killing time, here’s a history of the Knockouts Title video.

Brooke makes fun of Robbie E. and says she wants the crown.

Brooke vs. Mia Yim

First bad sign here: the announcers call Mia by her new name of Jade, even though no one had called her that on this show. That’s the extent of talk about Mia though, as they switch over to talking about Brooke’s figure. A fall away slam sends Brooke flying to start and Mia gives her a quick Stink Face. Oh yeah we have a theme here.

Mia channels her inner Kevin Owens by telling the crowd to get ready before slapping on a regular chinlock. Brooke avoids a running book in the corner but stops to shake her hips, giving the announcers a new reason to talk about her. After a quickly broken surfboard, Mia misses a Cannonball in the corner, allowing Brooke to come off the top with a mostly missing hurricanrana. Another Stink Face sets up the Tesshocker to give us another full time Knockout in the gauntlet.

Rating: D. Comedy match without the comedy here as the main roster Knockouts’ dominance is getting really old by now. As has been the case with everything else on this show, the squash matches have felt like a way to kill time because they have nothing else to do. Mia is talented but there’s nothing she can do in a five minute comedy match.

Video on Awesome Kong (not Amazing Havok) being dominant.

Awesome Kong vs. Mary Kate

You might remember Mary Kate as Rosie Lottalove, though she’s since lost well over 120lbs and looks far better. Before the match, Mary talks about talking out Knockouts in her first run (meaning she was so big and horrible in the ring that she injured Daffney) but now she’s here to dominate. It makes sense as everyone else seems to be here to do exactly that.

They test out power to start with Mary forearming Kong in the back. We get a test of strength and Kong takes over almost instantly. They slug it out with Mary actually getting in some shots and putting Kong down with a dropkick. Kong shrugs it all off though and takes Mary’s head off with a spinning backfist, followed by a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m rating this higher because of the remarkable weight loss for Mary and that spinning backfist, which knocked Mary’s head off. They’re not really hiding the fact that Kong is the one to beat in the gauntlet match so why bother pretending that they’re going with anything else?

Havok and Kong stare each other down in the aisle.

We recap the six person elimination tag being set up earlier tonight.

Menagerie vs. Angelina Love/BroMans

It’s Crazzy Steve/Knux/Rebel for the carnival freaks. Robbie starts with a war/rain dance, followed by a cartwheel. Knux does the same and it’s time for a comedy match to fill in time. Steve gets slammed onto Robbie for two so it’s off to Jesse, who can’t figure out Steve either. Remember a few months ago with Robbie was scared of clowns? Don’t worry because TNA doesn’t either.

Off to the girls (you know, the point of the show) with Angelina scoring with a running knee lift. Rebel fights back with kick to the ribs and a delayed slam, followed by the splits legdrop for the elimination. Jesse runs in to roll Rebel up to tie up a second later, meaning we’re now stuck with the men fighting on the Knockouts show. The good guys take over with Knux slamming Steve on Jesse for two more but some BroMans’ double teaming takes over again.

Robbie’s sleeper slows Knux down but he’s still able to counter a cross body into a powerslam. Steve comes in to clean house, causing Spud to call the clown a crazy fool. Jesse grabs a quick rollup to eliminate Steve, which JB says makes it 3-1. Knux gets rid of Jesse with a cross body (yes a cross body) before a Sister Abigail puts Robbie away.

Rating: D-. I don’t think the men having most of the action in a match on the women’s show really requires that much of an explanation. Rebel continues to be there because of how good she looks in trunks and that’s about it. Love is out of things to do in TNA and there’s no real reason for her to stick around. Granted the same thing is true of the Menagerie, who I actually liked.

In case you haven’t had one in too long, here’s a video of how the Knockouts got to the gauntlet. You know, all but one of the main roster set, with the one aspiring Knockout being a former title holder in TNA.

Gauntlet Match

Royal Rumble style until it’s down to the final two when it’s pin/submission. Thea Trinidad is in at #1 and Gail Kim is in at #2. They trade what would have been rollups had there been covers to start until Gail takes over with a neckbreaker. Madison Rayne is in at #3 after what seemed to be a two minute interval. Some clotheslines put Gail and Thea down to start before choking in the corner kills even more time.

After almost nothing interesting in two minutes, Havok is in at #4. They’re barely doing anything here and it’s borderline depressing. Thea kicks away at Havok but gets dumped as Taryn Terrell is in at #5. Taryn starts cleaning house until they pair off to get this back to dull. Havok rams Gail and Madison together and it’s Brooke in at #6, with Spud wanting us to sing her song. Madison gets eliminated and Gail gets a Stink Face from Brooke. You can ink (not pencil) in Havok vs. Kong as the final from here.

Kong comes in at #7 and if you can’t keep track of who is still in there at this point, you’re beyond my help. Brooke is thrown out almost immediately and Taryn follows her a few seconds later. Gail tries a high cross body to both monsters and gets dumped out with ease. Now it’s one on one with pins or submissions for the win. They trade big shots and Kong scores with a cross body before sitting on Havok’s chest for two. Havok’s choke takedown (you have to go into the air for a slam) gets two and Kong’s chokeslam gets the same. A second chokeslam gives Kong the crown.

Rating: F. We waited two hours for a boring fifteen minute main event with the most obvious winner in the history of obvious winners. The fact that this might have been their best idea is disturbing and makes these shows even more worthless than the seemed to be in the past. I didn’t think that was possible but as usual, TNA manages to get worse than anyone thought they ever could.

Kong won’t wear the crown and beats up the referee to end the show.

Overall Rating: L. As in a loss, both for and by the Knockouts. This was one of the worst shows that I’ve ever seen, bar none. They completely failed at any of the objectives they were attempting to achieve and made the division look like the least interesting thing in the history of their promotion. On top of that, it was clear that they didn’t even have time to fill in an hour and a half, let alone two hours and forty minutes.

Let’s look at the things they used to fill time here: multiple music videos, a TWENTY FIVE MINUTE OPENING SEGMENT, a fifteen minute match from the previous year (plus an extra three minutes for entrances), a bunch of worthless interviews and recap videos. This show felt like it was nearly half recap/filler and above all else, the BroMans got WAY more time than any of the women with a twenty five minute segment and a ten minute match. Well nearly ten minutes (9:50), or the longest new match on the show by two minutes.

This thing was a disaster and made the entire division look boring and horribly uninteresting. They would have been far better off airing a Best Of show instead because these things aren’t working. It was mainly the same women fighting that we’ve seen for years in some of the worst matches I can remember. Instead of adding time to the matches, the aired an old match and had a long, unfunny comedy segment. I would LOVE to hear someone from TNA defend this mess because I’m convinced it can’t be done.

I know TNA had a bad reputation on a lot of things and some of it is unfair, but then you have something like this and how in the world can you argue for them? How? This is their bright idea for the month and something they think is worthy of airing. Instead of ANOTHER gauntlet/tournament, why not just have the girls go out there and have some long twenty minute matches? TNA loves to brag about how awesome the Knockouts are and this is what they give us. This was unacceptable and easily one of the worst shows I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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X-Travaganza III
Date: May 6, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

I guess this is considered the beginning of a new season of these shows as the first X-Travaganza was the first ever One Night Only. Barring a big surprise, this is going to be a series of qualifying matches for an Ultimate X match for money later on in the night. These shows really are good illustrations of how far the division has fallen in recent years. Let’s get to it.

We open with the standard speech about how important this division is to TNA’s history. Notice that as the division has fallen into obscurity, the company’s success has gone down as well. Of course there’s a lot more to it than that, but once TNA stopped having something to focus on other than the main event division, things kept going south. As usual, this also shows us clips from later in the night.

All matches are qualifying matches for the Ultimate X main event with $100,000 on the line unless noted otherwise.

Tigre Uno vs. Sonjay Dutt

Feeling out process to start with Sonjay taking him down with a quick armdrag before having to spin out of a wristlock. Some fast near falls get us nowhere but both guys collide to put them on the mat. Back up and Sonjay takes over with some chops and a running knee in the corner before stopping Tigre with a boot. Tigre comes back in with a dropkick for two as the announcers start talking about Twitter handles. I really hope this isn’t a descent into the usual commentary madness on these shows.

Sonjay comes back with something like an Octopus Hold and a kick to the head for two. This turns into a discussion of favorite submission holds, which is at least related to what we’re watching. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Tigre fights back, only to miss a split legged moonsault. Dutt’s standing moonsault gets two as the fans are really not all that interested here. Borash finally gets around to explaining the idea of the qualifying matches for Ultimate X later in the show. Tigre crotches himself on an attempted basement dropkick in the corner but comes right back with a rolling cradle for the fast pin (and maybe a four count).

Rating: C-. We’re already seeing the issue with this show: there’s no reason for these two to be fighting and that makes for a dull match as neither of these two did anything exciting enough to warrant having nine minutes. It’s not a bad match or anything but it’s just two guys doing moves to each other until one got a pin off a cradle.

Kenny King talks about surprising everyone by showing up in TNA and brags about all of his success. No matter what he did though, he never could get noticed until he joined up with the BDC. Tonight, we’re calling this X-Travaganza Step Up, because he wants someone to step up to become the next Kenny King. Be careful though because he’s going to knock them right back down.

Kenny King vs. Jay Rios vs. Pepper Parks

Parks wrestles all over the indies and seems to have a fitness gimmick. Rios is a lower level indy guy but he was recently on Impact as Tigre Uno’s partner in the Tag Team Title tournament against Bram/Ethan Carter III. Josh asks the returning JB how he can get around the arena to announce everything so fast. Parks kicks Rios in the head to start and stomps him down as King stands back.

The fans chant for the BDC (the only people they might know in this match) as King backdrops Parks to the floor. Rios kicks both of them through the ropes and hits an Asai moonsault to drop both opponents. Back in and Parks gets two off a sitout powerbomb as King is still on the floor. Rios sidesteps Parks’ spear to send him into King before hitting the springboard into an RKO on Parks for two.

Pepper doesn’t seem to mind as a double superkick puts King down, only to have Rios hit running boots in the corner to both opponents. King suddenly realizes he’s Kenny King and starts cleaning house but Rios shoves him off the top and hits a frog splash for two on Parks. Back up and Rios goes to the apron, only to springboard into the Royal Flush to give King the pin.

Rating: C. Better but it’s the exact same problem from the first match: I have no real reason to see these guys fight and they’re not doing anything worth seeing. In other words, these matches aren’t very interesting and make me want to go watch some old TNA matches instead of these.

Here’s a clip from Destination X 2013 where Manik won the X-Division Title in Ultimate X.

Manik vs. Mr. 450

450 is yet another indy guy who has been squashed in NXT a few times under the name Jesus de Leon. For some reason he comes out (after Manik) with a weird eyepiece that looks like something out of Star Trek (for your KB trivia: I’ve never seen a single movie or episode of Star Trek) and may supposed to be something from the future.

Wherever he’s from (yes I know it’s Puerto Rico), he grabs an armbar to start as the announcers talk about Google Glasses. They spin around a few times until 450 gets two off a springboard cross body. Manik sends him hard into the post though and things slow back down. Off to the floor now with Manik sending him into the post again as Josh laments the loss of Bernie Mac. He was in a movie called Mr. 3000 (Josh calls it Mr. 300) so it’s connected you see.

Manik grabs a cross armbreaker (at least he’s following up on the shoulder into the post, putting this match ahead of everything else on the show so far) before rolling some suplexes, capped off by a belly to back hammerlock suplex. We hit the chinlock with the arm trapped back for a bit to keep up the psychology.

450 comes back with another springboard cross body but Manik catches himself in the ropes instead of going out to the floor. He goes right outside a few seconds later though, setting up 450’s Asai moonsault. Josh clarifies that Pepper and Joseph Parks are not related before Manik hurricanranas 450 into the armbreaker for the submission.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far with the arm work actually playing through the match instead of just introducing it and then forgetting it just as fast. Again it’s not a great match or anything like that, but at least it was a good way to kill seven minutes. Manik is an underrated talent in the company and unfortunately he’s stuck in the lame Revolution for the time being.

Video on the Knockouts defying the limits just as well as the men do.

Taryn Terrell is in the five Knockouts ladder match later tonight and she can prove that she’s more than just a pretty face.

Great Sanada vs. Jonathan Cruz vs. Crazzy Steve

Cruz is Rios’ partner in the indies. Steve pulls out a horn as Matthews thinks Cruz is Mr. 450. Ignore the fact that neither wears a mask so this shouldn’t be too complicated. Steve goes out to the apron and waits for a tag because we’re in a comedy match. Sanada cranks on Cruz’s arm to start and they hit a nice spin out sequence for one of the few good reactions from the crowd all night long. Steve comes in with a crucifix and sunset flip for two each on Sanada before Sanada pulls on Cruz’s face.

Now the announcers talk about the places Sanada has wrestled, including the hibachi place and Nakatomi Towers. Off to an abdominal stretch on Cruz until Steve makes the save. The serious guys finally get tired of the comedy and pound Steve down like anyone sensible would do. Steve comes back with cannonballs in the corner, only to have Sanada mist Cruz in the face. A moonsault gets two with Steve making the save, setting up a DDT on Cruz to send Steve to Ultimate X.

Rating: D. The announcers have gone from amusing to Tazz land as they spent the whole match making as many Japan jokes as they could squeeze into a short match. Steve is a generic “comedy” guy who gets annoying in a hurry with neither opponent being able to do much. Sanada really should have gone forward here as he’s more than earned the spot in the last year, especially on these shows.

Rockstar Spud says he’s a great wrestler, even when he was just getting coffee for Dixie Carter. Tonight he can show why he’s a great X-Division wrestler when he wins his first Ultimate X match.

And now, since they can’t even get to 2:45 on their own, here’s the X-Division Title match from Slammiversary 2014.

X-Division Title: Sanada vs. Tigre Uno vs. Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards vs. Crazy Steve vs. Manik

Sanada is defending and this is a ladder match. Also keep in mind that Destination X and Option C are coming up soon. Manik dives through the ropes to take out Sanada before the bell. The Wolves follow suit with stereo suicide dives and Steve has apparently knocked Tigre Uno down. Steve gets a ladder from under the ring and uses it to climb back to the apron. Tigre dropkicks him down and mostly misses a corkscrew dive to take everyone out.

Sanada and Manik fight over a ladder in the ring with the champion taking over via a springboard chop to the head. Tigre replaces Manik and kicks Sanada in the back of the head but the Wolves double team him into a German suplex onto the ladder in the corner. Edwards throws in a fresh ladder but Manik dropkicks both of them down. Steve (very popular tonight) comes in for the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot, taking down everyone that comes into the ring.

Manik makes a save but Steve shoves the ladder over, only to have Manik land on the top rope and dive out to knock out the Wolves. Steve goes up again and touches the belt but of course loses his hand eye coordination since this is a ladder match, allowing Sanada to make the save. The ladder is busted so Sanada slams Steve onto it to set up the moonsault. The fans think this is awesome as Tigre enziguris Sanada off a better ladder.

Tigre wedges the broken ladder into the standing one to form a bridge, but the Wolves catch him in a powerbomb/top rope Backstabber combo. The Wolves both go after the belt but Sanada makes the save. Edwards Sanada clothesline each other to the floor and Eddie crashes into the barricade, leaving Davey on top. Manik makes the save and powerbombs Davey onto the bridged ladder in a SCARY landing. Sanada climbs up to retain at 9:40 before someone dies.

Rating: B-. The match was fun but some of those spots looked too dangerous for my taste. Richards getting powerbombed was way too scary looking and I didn’t like how he landed. Hopefully everyone is fine, but I question having people go through a match like this without even giving the match hype on TV.

Rockstar Spud vs. Dalton Castle

Castle is basically a man in a peacock costume during his entrance with and some good looking valets to disrobe him. Naturally the announcers aren’t going to explain who Castle is because they’re too busy with their “witty banter.” Castle puts his hands on his back and sticks his chest out so Spud imitates the look (one fan: “Spud’s was better!”). The pose off continues as the announcers debate this year’s Best Picture winner. They start shoving each other out of the way to pose before Spud gets one off a rollup over a minute in.

This sends Spud to the floor to call Castle a chicken. Time for a chase scene with Dalton getting taken down with a drop toehold. Matthews talks about being chased by a chicken as a kid as Spud knocks Dalton outside. Josh: “There was no choking of the chicken.” Castle throws him down to the mat and struts a bit before covering for two. Josh: “New game! Every time you say Castle’s full name, you have to give him a new middle name.” Spud screams at a slap and hits some running forearms, followed by the Underdog for the pin.

Rating: D+. I love Spud but there was only so much you can do here when the announcers are making up games to get themselves through the show. Castle needs a straight man or partner in general to play off as he doesn’t have the wrestling acumen to back him up out there. This was barely even a match after all the posing.

Matt Hardy is ready for his dream match against Austin Aries tonight. Who has been dreaming of that match? Matt talks about his career evolving all the time and now he’s going to give A Double a double dose of Mattitude.

Mikaze vs. DJZ

Mikaze had a pot of coffee back in ROH back in 2005-2006 and was squashed by Ryback one night. DJZ bails from the threat of a kick to the head and does a Karate Kid pose. Back up and Mikaze chases him out to the floor, only to have DJZ snap the back of his neck across the ropes. That’s with with Mikaze who skins the cat out to the floor and into a hurricanrana for a nice counter.

Back in and DJZ stomps him in the corner as we hear about Mikaze designing wrestling gear. Mikaze misses a springboard clothesline and a lot of choking ensues. The announcers count ropes (seriously) and laugh at the idea of Mike Tenay dying. Mikaze sends him to the floor and gets a running start before changing directions into a moonsault. That was awesome. Back in and Mikaze hits a springboard forearm (fans: “AJ STYLES!”) and Trouble in Paradise, only to get caught in a bottom rope tornado DDT to send DJZ to the Ultimate X.

Rating: C. Mikaze looked cool but the idea of sending anyone but those already on the roster to the main event is a pipe dream. DJZ is trying but he’s another example of someone who needs a partner to help him get through most of his matches. He’s mainly a comedy guy and that doesn’t translate well when he’s trying to have a regular match like this one.

Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim vs. Angelina Love vs. Brooke vs. Taryn Terrell

Ladder match for a future Knockouts Title match. I love that they can’t say who the champion is at the moment as they have no idea who it will be when this airs. Everyone goes for the ladder to start but they just wind up knocking the thing over for a big crash. Madison suplexes Taryn on the floor (Josh: “That was violent!”) and the announcers take shots at the Divas.

We get the first ladder brought in with Gail trying to get it straightened on the top rope for no apparent reason as everyone fights in the background. Angelina gets dropped face first onto the ladder but Gail and Brooke start fighting over who gets to use the ladder. Taryn is sent face first into the ladder in the corner as Angelina sets up another between the barricade and the apron.

Everyone gets knocked down in the corner until Gail is dropkicked off the apron and onto the bridged ladder. We finally get a ladder set up in the middle of the ring but Brooke shoves it over, sending Angelina and Madison crashing down. Gail pulls Taryn down but both quickly climb up, only to have Brooke pull Gail through the rungs. Gail is dangling but stops Brooke from pulling the contract down. Not that it matters as the contract falls, allowing Taryn to dive onto it for the win.

Rating: D+. I’ve never been a fan of these short gimmick matches. What’s the point in even bringing the ladders in if they’re going to be done in less than seven minutes with five girls in there? You can barely get anything going and there’s almost no drama, though Taryn winning is always a good thing.

The Wolves are ready to face each other and they’re both coming at it hard. It’s all cool though.

Package on the Wolves.

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards

This is just a dream match instead of a qualifying match. They’re in different tights tonight to make this feel a bit different. Feeling out process to start and both guys give a clean break in the corner. They point at the crowd and lock up against the ropes as this is totally even so far. Davey can’t spin out of a wristlock but they both spin out of a hammerlock into a standoff. Now Josh talks about grilled cheese and his ability to map minds.

More technical stuff leads to a headscissors from Davey and they trade something like the surfboard’s drunk cousins. The third standoff sets up Davey nailing a dropkick and putting on an Indian deathlock, complete with a Rude hip swivel. Edwards does the same (the swivel I mean) with the surfboard knee stomp as Josh is STILL going on about the mind map stuff. Davey is sent to the floor and both guys avoid dives, setting up Eddie’s moonsault off the apron to break his heel and put him on the shelf for three months. Back in and Davey hits a pair of Creeping Deaths (Eddie: “DO IT! DO IT!”) for the pin.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade as it was just starting to get going when the injury took place. They didn’t want to go after each other here but they were getting into the spirit of competition right before the ending. Good enough match though and the Wolves continue to be awesome on this show.

Austin Aries says he and Matt Hardy are good in any division. He has to talk over a match ending and it’s really distracting. Isn’t there like an office or locker room deep inside the building that they could do these in instead?

Clip of Aries beating Roode in the first Option C cash-in.

Austin Aries vs. Matt Hardy

Again, the winner doesn’t go to Ultimate X. They fight into the corner to start as the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here. Matt scores a quick takedown and poses before doing it again and shouting 2-0. Aries takes him down twice in a row, lays on the ropes and says we’re tied. They hit the mat with a headlock into a headscissors counter and it’s already a standoff. Another mat sequence ends with Aries hitting a basement dropkick and a slingshot hilo for two.

The announcers ignore the match again but at least they talk about the main event. Well to be fair they make a bet on the main event but close enough. Aries dropkicks Matt out to the floor but his suicide dive hits a forearm. Matt fights back with a middle rope elbow to the back of the head but the Side Effect is blocked with an elbow to the head. The double underhook guillotine has Aries in trouble but he escapes and puts on the Last Chancery.

They fight over a suplex on the apron (of course the Last Chancery didn’t work. It hasn’t in years) and Matt is shoved to the floor for the suicide dive. Aries dives into a kick into the ribs though and eats a Twist of Fate on the floor. Austin barely beats the count back in and quickly drops Hardy, only to miss the 450. Matt misses the moonsault though and they slug it out from their knees. The Side Effect gets two for Matt but Aries pops up with a pair of discus forearms, the running corner dropkick and the brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B. Match of the night here by about a million miles but it’s nothing worth going out of your way to see. This sounded like something that should be headlining an indy show and there’s nothing wrong with it being the second biggest main event on a nothing show like this. To be fair, a big indy show probably has a better card than a lot of One Night Only shows.

Video on Ultimate X.

Kenny King vs. Tigre Uno vs. Rockstar Spud vs. DJZ vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Manik

Ultimate X for $100,000. Yeah not a title shot or anything, but money. It’s a big brawl to start with Manik making the first failed attempt at the X. A limping Spud is down on the floor as Steve bites DJZ’s head and hits him with a Cannonball in the corner. Tigre stops King from getting the X but gets pulled down by Manik. King superplexes Steve down and hammers away before everyone is down for a bit.

Spud pulls DJZ down and other combinations do the same thing as this is already starting to drag. We hit the parade of dives with Spud going last. It’s clear that they’re just killing time at this point, likely due to the Wolves match going short. They get back in (including Steve, who Josh keeps calling Steve of Crazy) for a Tower of Doom and the fans are barely reacting. King shoves DJZ through part of the structure before pulling Spud off the cables.

Tigre hits a Phoenix Splash to the floor onto DJZ for no apparent reason. King and Manik screw up an alliance and END THIS ALREADY! King is the only one left standing so he pulls out a ladder. Spud makes his comeback and hammers away on King but Kenny hits him with the ladder. The slowest climb of all time allows Spud to make the save and….have to deal with Manik who springboards onto the ladder. Thankfully it quickly falls over and Spud hangs on, pulling down the X to win.

Rating: D+. WAY too long here with nearly 18 minutes to this thing. The guys were trying hard but this shouldn’t be more than about ten minutes at most. The lack of drama really hurt it too as the only two possible winners were King and Spud, and there was barely a single dramatic attempt at the X. Just too long here and it really dragged things down.

Overall Rating: D. Oh yeah this was dull. It went on too long (which says a lot as this wasn’t even 2:45 long and it had about 15 minutes added with the Slammiversary match) and nothing here was worth seeing. In other words, it’s basically the exact same thing that has plagued every One Night Only show, including the dreadful commentary. Matthews and Borash clearly didn’t care and they knew they wouldn’t get in trouble for it because no one watches these shows. Bad show, but the guys were indeed trying.

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Hardcore Justice 4
Date: April 10, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 1,100
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash

This is one of the shows that has been the definition of hit and miss. When you just let people do hardcore violence, it can make for some entertaining matches. However, when you stop caring and just let them be goofy, it turns into a huge mess that makes no sense and is more embarrassing than anything else. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is just a quick package of clips of what’s coming later. This is extreme you might say.

Wolves vs. Manik/Geat Sanada

Ladder match. It’s a huge brawl to start of course with the Wolves being beaten out to the floor, sending the Revolution off to get the ladders early on. Davey gets back in to kick the ladder into the Revolution’s faces but their double suicide dive is countered with a ladder smash. Back up and the Wolves do their toss into a kick to the chest spot followed by a German suplex to send Sanada into the ladder.

Manik throws Edwards into the air to have him crash down onto the boots before finally setting up a ladder. Everyone but Manik goes to the floor so Davey dives back in for the save. Davey can’t go up quickly because of his back so Manik pulls out an orange ladder for a change of pace (Matthews: “TAZ IS BEHIND THE LADDERS!”) but it winds up bridged in between the ropes and the standing ladder. Manik and Davey fight on the ladder until Eddie pulls Manik down.

That goes badly for Eddie as Manik springboards back up to the ladder before hitting a wicked sunset powerbomb to drive Davey into the ladder. Naturally the TNA fans barely react to a huge spot. A delayed THIS IS AWESOME chant starts up and stops in the span of ten seconds. Sanada hits a standing moonsault on Eddie before they both head up, only to have Sanada bust out the mist.

Davey shoves the ladder over though and actually does something smart by using his wrist tape to clean his partner’s eyes. The Revolution gets their heads caught in the ladder so Eddie can hit a top rope double stomp for another spot that deserves a better reaction. The Wolves go up and get the contract, which apparently is for a future Tag Team Title shot.

Rating: B-. It’s a tag team ladder match with four guys who know how to work this style. Unfortunately they’re in front of a bored crowd who doesn’t seem interested in cheering and only had about ten minutes to work with here. Good match here and for some reason I have a feeling this show just hit its peak.

Drew Galloway is fired up for his pipe on a pole match against Kenny King. There’s no mention of the Rising here because they didn’t exist when this was filmed. I like that better though as Drew has more than enough charisma to carry a match.

Drew Galloway vs. Kenny King

Pipe on a Pole. The fans are fired up for Drew so both guys immediately go for the pipe. Why not let someone get it and nail them on the way down to grab it instead of making the save? Drew gets two off a suplex, making the pipe worthless/optional. King speeds things up and collides with Drew to knock both guys outside in a big crash. It’s Galloway taking over with the fans holding King so Drew can throw chops. One of the fans hands Drew a rubber chicken to beat on King, because a STEEL PIPE is too lame.

King no sells the rubber chicken (just go with it and it’ll end faster) and jumps to the apron and spins around for a cannonball to drop Drew. They finally remember the whole pipe thing and go after it with Drew hammering King down and nailing a middle rope Russian legsweep. A German suplex drops Kenny again and a middle rope elbow gets two. King gets back up and hits a spin kick to bring Drew down from the corner and a Michinoku Driver gets another near fall. Drew still can’t get the pipe as King knocks him into the Tree of Woe. King FINALLY gets the pipe but walks into a running boot to the face for the pin.

Rating: F. For a match it was fine but the pipe could have been anything from a fight in the crowd to a good looking woman to A RUBBER CHICKEN BEING SOLD IN A WRESTLING MATCH. It was a distraction instead of anything important and that’s one of the most annoying things in all of wrestling, making gimmick matches a huge waste of time. The rubber chicken brings this down even further.

Rockstar Spud gives a great promo about the scar Ethan Carter put on his forehead. Tonight isn’t about pinning Carter and that’s the way Spud wants it, because tonight is about making Carter bleed.

Gunner vs. Eric Young

Tables match which is the result of Young issuing an open challenge. JB: “You can see the crazy in his eyes.” No, you can’t Borash. Gunner punches him to the floor to start and rams Eric into the apron. Young sends him into the barricade and apron like a CRAZY man but Gunner chops him down and hits a headbutt off the steps. Fans: “USE THE CHICKEN!”

Instead they get a table but Eric fights out of a suplex and actually takes it back inside for more brawling. Gunner suplexes him right back to the floor and IT’S CHICKEN TIME! JB: “He’s choking him with the chicken!” We get another table set up at ringside but Eric blocks the German from the apron. Blast it why can’t we see him knocked senseless? Gunner sets up table #3 but actually puts this one inside for a change.

Eric gets in a shot to put Gunner down though and loads up a whip into the corner. Fans: “YOU STILL SUCK!” I like these people! Gunner is sent throat first into the ropes but is still able to break up the top rope elbow. A superplex plants Eric and Gunner hits something like a middle rope palm strike. They head to the apron, right above a table, but Gunner can’t hit a piledriver. Instead it’s a low blow from Young and a piledriver puts Gunner through the table for the win.

Rating: D+. This was still nothing good but it was MILES better than the pipe match. Young still sucks (just listening to the fans you see) and Gunner continues to be a guy just floating around on the roster. This wasn’t much of a tables match, but you get what you pay for on a show like this. Cool finisher though.

Package on Havok destroying Gail Kim over and over, eventually taking the title from her.

Gail Kim vs. Havok

Street fight. Gail rolls away from the monster to start and hits a running dropkick in the corner. Havok comes back with a shot of her own before having to block a kendo stick shot. It’s Havok getting in the first shot to Gail’s ribs before tying her in the Tree of Woe for even more ribs shots. Off to a standard choke instead before Havok lifts her up with a full nelson. Gail has to dropkick a trashcan back into Havok’s face and dives off the apron to take her down again.

Back in and Havok throws her into a chair in the corner, followed by a running knee to the face. Gail is fast enough to send her face first into the chair as well before hammering away in the corner. A spinning high cross body gets two for Kim but since it’s just a cross body, Havok kicks the chair into her face for two and loads up the chokeslam. Gail counters into a DDT on the chair for a big smash, but that’s too good of a finish so here’s Eat Defeat for the pin instead.

Rating: C. Better than I was expecting here with the right ending, even though Havok has just disappeared from the face of the earth since Kong returned. I still find Gail overrated, but she’s still more than good enough to carry a match like this. Good stuff here and one of the better matches of the night.

The Wolves may be banged up and half blind, but they’re going to Sizzler!

Abyss vs. Matt Hardy

Monster’s Ball of course, but the interesting thing is Christy introducing Abyss as the Swamp Suplex Machine, which has to be a rib of some sort. Matt gets one of the loudest chants of the night but Abyss easily shoves him around to start. They head outside with the fans wanting the chicken but having to settle for right hands from Hardy. It’s time for a barbed wire table with Abyss getting the better of it and bridging the table between the ring and the barricade.

A chokeslam is blocked so Matt throws in a trashcan full of weapons and whips out a cheese grater. After Abyss gets done wedging a chair in the corner, he turns around to feel a stepladder to the ribs. The fans actually chant for Abyss as he takes Matt over with a suplex, only to have Matt crotch him with the ladder. Hardy follows it up by using the chair as a golf club to drive the ladder even further in.

Abyss pops up with something made of metal to knock Hardy off the top, driving her into the barbed wire table for the match’s big spot. We get the required thumb tacks but Matt uses the cheese grater to the crotch for the save. You don’t do that even to a monster so he throws Matt into the chair in the corner.

The tacks are spread out but Matt drives him face first with the Twist of Fate, only to have his own back covered in tacks as well. The busted barbed wire table is brought back in as Matt basically no sells the tacks, only to eat an elbow to the jaw. It’s Janice time but of course it misses, allowing Matt to spear him through the barbed wire table. A Twist of Fate onto the chair gives Matt the pin.

Rating: C-. STOP HAVING THIS MATCH! They do the exact same spots with the exact same weapons, usually with the same ending and one of the same people in the match every single time. Just stop doing this match over and over again so many times, as it stopped being interesting a long time ago. Let it build up instead of just doing the same thing over and over and stop adding it in like a side salad. Let it be the main course for a change with a fresh recipe. Did I mention I haven’t had dinner yet?

James Storm says he’ll win the hardcore battle royal because he has the Revolution behind him.

Gauntlet Match

What would a One Nigh Only be without one of these? Two minute intervals and everyone has weapons. Robbie E. is in at #1 with a selfie stick and Crazzy Steve brings a bag of something. Robbie bails to the floor to start and attacks a distracted Steve from behind. Steve comes back and empties the bag to reveal…..Gummy Bears. Oh geez here we go. Robbie eats one and gets sick, setting up a chokeslam onto the Bears.

Jesse Godderz is in at #3 (OH THE SHOCK!) with a baseball bat (Matthews: “Perhaps left over from an icon?”) to try and make this serious. Steve avoids being eliminated as JB worries about the sugary goodness of the Gummy Bears. Chris Melendez is in at #4 with a nightstick, which is somehow a very welcome sight. That says a lot as Melendez is a very dull guy, but he’s better than the Gummy Bears and selfie stick.

The BroMans take over and it’s Samuel Shaw in at #5 with a wire. Nothing happens for now so it’s Khoya with a Revolution flag in at #6 as we’re still waiting on our first elimination. Khoya cleans house, including with a double clothesline to put the BroMans down. It’s rubber chicken time again (ERG!) with Steve getting in a few shots on most of the people until Crimson of all people is in at #7 (to almost no reaction from the announcers) with a trashcan lid.

Crimson and Khoya stare each other down but Shaw chokes Crimson down with the wire. Steve hits Robbie low with the chicken as there are WAY too many people in the ring at the moment. Robbie throws the chicken out but Tyrus is in at #8 with a chain, hopefully to eliminate some people. Robbie and Melendez are quickly tossed and Tyrus hammers away on Jesse in the corner.

Knux is in at #9 with a cane but it’s a cross body to put Tyrus down. Jesse is tossed and the freaking chicken is brought back in. Good grief let the stupid idea die already. James Storm and his noose with cowbell are in at #10 to hopefully make this a bit more serious. Storm is content to sit in a chair at ringside as Shaw chokes Crimson, only to have both guys fall out to the floor for a double elimination. DJZ is in at #11 with his bottle of hairspray because….yeah. Matthews loses his mind when he sees Storm’s rope wrapped around the chicken.

Tyrus hammers away in the corner and Mr. Anderson is in at #12, giving us a final group of Steve, Khoya, Tyrus, Knux, Storm, DJZ and Anderson. Mr. actually takes the mic off the cord to bring in as his weapon. That’s actually clever, unlike EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS MATCH. Anderson pounds on Tyrus in the corner and hammers away on everyone with the mic but gets taken down by Steve of all people.

Steve sprays hairspray in DJZ’s eyes for an elimination but gets tossed by Khoya. Knux follows him out and we’re down to four. Khoya misses a charge and is tossed out, leaving us with Tyrus, Anderson and Storm. The Last Call hits Tyrus by mistake and Anderson throws him over the top. Tyrus actually tries to skin the cat but it goes as well as you would expect. Storm throws a distracted Anderson out a few seconds later for the win.

Rating: F. I’d like to remind you that 95% of this match took place with the ring covered in Gummy Bears. Combine that with the chicken gag that WILL NOT JUST FREAKING STOP and I think you get why this was a nightmare to sit through. On top of that, it was a poorly run gauntlet with way too many people in the ring at the same time for the majority of the match.

Anderson Mic Checks Storm post match and eats some Gummy Bears. And puts some of them down Storm’s tights. I hate this show. Like, a lot.

Ethan Carter III brags about everything he’s put Spud through and says tonight is going to be the same all over again.

Long package on the history of Spud vs. Carter. That’s still a great story.

Ethan Carter III vs. Rockstar Spud

First blood and now with 100% fewer Gummy Bears. Carter talks about how no one makes him bleed before the match, but gets cut off by a CHICKEN’S BETTER chant. Spud comes out and has to hear another recap of the feud. Carter offers him a chance to leave but Spud turns to face him and nails Carter in the head with the mic to get things going. They head outside with Spud going after the face but stopping for his chicken pilgrimage.

Thankfully he throws it away and sends Carter into the post instead. Back inside with Carter taking over by sending Spud into the buckle a few times and dropping an elbow to the face. The freaking chicken gets another chant so Carter gives them a big sarcastic thumbs up. With Carter taking a breather, Spud removes the covering from the bolt holding the ring together.

Carter’s splash is sidestepped and his head hits the buckle, which Josh says is the actual turnbuckle. He knows this due to building a ring as a kid and having to learn all the terms. I know that sounds like the setup for a joke, but that’s actually kind of interesting. Now the fans are asking where’s the chicken. Spud gets all fired up and REMOVES THE BOWTIE to start his comeback with a flurry of punches. The Underdog connects and Carter rolls to the floor for a breather.

That sets up a huge flip dive from Spud as Carter is reeling. Cue Tyrus so Spud grabs a chair but Ethan breaks up another Underdog attempt. The referee gets bumped and Carter takes off the brace (fans: “CHICKEN KILLER!”), only to have Spud take it away and nail Carter in the mouth, drawing blood. Tyrus is quickly there with a towel to clean it up and a chain to help cheat and the match ends exactly as you would expect it to.

Rating: C-. Someone find whoever brought in that stupid chicken and cover them in batter. That thing stopped being funny about ten seconds after it was brought in and these fans have chanted for it for over an hour and a half. I know you didn’t pay to get in, but Heaven forbid you stop acting like idiots for five minutes so people can enjoy the show. And yes, I know how lame that sounds.

Tommy Dreamer says he’s bled in cages before but you can ask Raven and the Eliminators how tough he is inside the steel. Or we could ask someone who has actually been in a cage with you in the last, oh, fifteen years or so. I’m fine with Dreamer on a hardcore show. I get annoyed when they wedge hardcore in for the sake of a cheap nostalgia pop. In other words: do it naturally instead of forcing everything.

Bram vs. Tommy Dreamer

In a cage of course. The brawl starts on the floor before the bell and Dreamer puts on a rainbow mohawk wig while drinking a Coke. Well at least it’s not the chicken. Bram crotches Dreamer on the barricade but Tommy sends him into the cage door and then inside the cage to finally draw the opening bell. To further the stupidity of this show, the announcers don’t know how the match is going to end, but they think the match could spill outside the cage.

Bram does just that so he can slam the door on Tommy’s head, confusing the crowd even more. Back in and Dreamer is sent into the wall before we hit the chinlock. It is a cage match after all so that’s the level of violence you have to expect. Tommy finally comes back with a clothesline and we get a House of Hardcore chant. A bunch of punches set up a Bionic Elbow as the fans tell Dreamer he still has it.

We get a chair brought in because the cage isn’t enough and because we need Tommy to take a drop toehold onto a chair for contractual obligations. There’s the Tree of Woe/chair/dropkick/ECW chant spot. Matthews: “Tommy is always evolving and changing.” In all his years on commentary, Taz never made me laugh as much as that one line did. Dreamer hits the White Russian legsweep as Dreamer is now stealing others’ old spots. The Dreamer DDT (further proving my point) gets two so Tommy just kicks him low. Bram returns the low blow and hits the Brighter Side of Suffering onto the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. See, this is the way you use Dreamer: occasionally and only when you have a hardcore show. I’m fine with him coming in for stuff like this (though not for the ECW chants) and putting someone over while getting the crowd going, but keep him off my TV every week.

Bobby Roode is ready for Lashley and can’t wait to continue their feud.

Package on the history between Roode and Lashley, who is still heel here.

Bobby Lashley vs. Bobby Roode

Last man standing. Roode drives him into the corner to start but Lashley powers him to the mat. Back up and Lashley gets kicked in the face, setting up the Blockbuster for an early six. The Roode Bomb is countered into a very delayed vertical suplex and Lashley pounds away in the corner. We get one of the few (likely unintentional) clever bits from the crowd all night: “LET’S GO BOBBY/BOBBY SUCKS!” Roode gets caught in a dragon sleeper for a nine but the fans start chanting for the chicken again.

Back up and Roode grabs a sleeper for nine. Thankfully it’s not a long lasting nine as Lashley gets up and plants Roode with a powerslam. More chicken chants take away from Lashley superplexing Roode for a double eight count. Roode grabs a spinebuster but Lashley hits one of his own for seven. Back up and Roode nails a spear followed by the Roode Bomb. That works as well as you would expect before Lashley spears Roode out to the floor. Roode is up at nine and avoids another spear, sending Lashley into the steps. A Roode Bomb on the floor gives Roode the win.

Rating: C. This was fine but totally paint by numbers. Roode and Lashley are capable of having great matches, but there’s only so much they can do in an environment like this one. At least Roode won, which would be nice to see today after all the weeks of putting Eric Young over for a story that isn’t leading anywhere.

Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was awful. It’s very clear when they’re not trying on these things and it was even clearer than ever here. Making things even worse we had the most annoying crowd I’ve heard in years as they didn’t want to watch the show they were seeing and turned it into a big joke. That got old after about ten seconds so of course they kept going for over an hour. Terrible show that just kept going, though some of the guys were legitimately trying.

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