NXT – December 21, 2011 – Back To Territorial Style

NXT
Date: December 20, 2011
Location: Richmond Coliseum, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

We’re at the next to last show of the year on this season and it’s becoming pretty clear this is going to go on to the beginning of the WWE Network. Therefore, there’s almost no point to paying attention to this show. However, if I was going with that philosophy I would have been out of here months ago. Let’s get to it.

This 4pm thing is ridiculous. It’s 6:40 and I’ve been checking on things every 20 minutes or so and it’s just now up.

Here’s Bateman to open things up. During Bateman’s entrance we recap the Percy Watson show from last week. He says he’s here to win and win back the Courtney to his Kurt and the Bonnie to his Clyde (aren’t both of those men dead?). Striker says they have to work together and be partners here. Curtis shows us a still of him kissing Maxine and then offers a handshake.

Usos vs. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis

The Siva Tao makes me want to invade a small country. Bateman starts and the brothers take turns beating on him. Once he finally gets a bit of a break though, Curtis tags himself in. It doesn’t go very well for him either though as the Samoans hammer away. Curtis gets a hard clothesline for two and the fans aren’t really interested. He goes over to tag in Bateman but Derrick walks away. It doesn’t take long for the Superfly Splash from Jimmy to get the pin at 3:37.

Rating: D. The match was pretty much nothing but that was the point. The Usos are light years better than everyone and that’s been obvious for months, so I’m getting tired of seeing them wasted in stuff like this. Curtis is about as uninteresting as anyone I’ve seen in years, but it’s just NXT so it’s not so bad.

Trent Barretta asks Yoshi to watch his back against Hawkins tonight since Reks will be out there. Yoshi says sure but after Trent leaves, Yoshi gets jumped by Hawkins/Reks and locked in a utility closet.

Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta

Striker goes on a rant against Hawkins and Reks for making fun of legends on their Youtube show. If he doesn’t like them, why does he keep booking them on NXT if he has matchmaking abilities? Hawkins takes over to start and hits a slam for two. Hawkins keeps beating on him and heads to the floor to yell at Striker who yells right back. Trent fights back and the fans are SILENT. A running knee gets two for Trent. He goes up but has to kick Reks down, allowing Hawkins to finish Trent with a move that starts as a reverse neckbreaker, but he spins forward to slam Trent’s face into the mat for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: D+. I like Barretta but he couldn’t overcome the boredom of the crowd here. Nothing special at all but I guess it sets up drama between Yoshi and Trent which is the latest place they’re going here that has nothing to do with NXT but they have to fill in an hour either way. Also, who comes up with these dull finishers? All these face slam moves are getting old.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Maxine’s outfits really aren’t PG. Kaitlyn dominates to start and shows off her range of offense, going big with a legdrop. Maxine fights back and chokes away. This is the usual boring stuff from the Divas. Maxine hits her in the chest and hooks a standing guillotine choke. Kaitlyn fires off some but Maxine keeps beating her down. Cue Bateman who says he’s been looking everywhere for Maxine. The distraction lets Kaitlyn roll her up at 3:03.

Rating: D. Other than the chest strike thing, this was rather dull. Somehow this was WAY better than the Raw and Smackdown Divas who are just awful at this point. It’s amazing what happens when they’re down in FCW with trainers and get to actually practice a bit isn’t it? This was nothing special though.

Bateman begs forgiveness and sings the Righteous Brothers’ You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling but gets blasted by Curtis. Maxine walks out on both of them.

Percy Watson vs. Tyson Kidd

Good to see Kidd back on the show though. Percy starts off with his power game and he hammers Tyson into the corner. The referee tells him to get out of there and Percy actually says yes sir. Very nice to see some manners. Just because you’re in combat and trying to get a full time job, there’s no excuse for rudeness. Kidd takes over and uses his feet to take over. Off to a dragon sleeper which Percy escapes pretty easily. He fires off some dropkicks and adds a belly to belly for two. They go to the corner and Percy gets guillotined on the top rope. That and a springboard elbow drop are enough for Tyson to pin him at 4:03.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad and it’s nice to see Tyson back on screen. He would have been the prime candidate for an NXT Title if they’d ever just get to one. Either way, this was fine for power vs. speed and that’s all it needed to be. Watson is kind of floundering and I think a heel turn might be in the cards for him.

Same video on the Tribute to the Troops from Monday.

Bateman and Curtis almost get into a fight in Striker’s office so he makes a match between them for next week.

Titus O’Neil vs. JTG

Darren Young is on commentary and his arm is in a sling. Titus uses the power game to start (common theme tonight) as Young says that he’s better than anyone on Raw or Smackdown. Titus throws JTG to the floor and barks. He gets crotched on the ring skirt though and JTG takes over. To the chinlock! Titus powers out of it and hammers away, hitting a powerslam for two. Clash of the Titus ends this at 3:55.

Rating: D. Not much here but it wasn’t too bad. It wasn’t particularly good hence the grade, but the point of this was to have Titus look dominant before the post match shenanigans with Young happened. JTG just doesn’t work as a heel because of his size and that he’s more annoying than menacing.

Post match Darren stares Titus down as JTG trips Titus up. Darren rips off his sling as his arm is fine. The post match beatdown ensues.

Overall Rating: D+. You know, this show has potential. They got it back to being like an old school territorial show and I can live with that. If there was a title on this show and you keep in mind that the stakes are as low as you can have while still having stakes, you can enjoy this show. Not a terrible show and if they can keep this style, I could see this show becoming almost ok.

Results
Usos b. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis – Superfly Splash to Curtis
Curt Hawkins b. Trent Barretta – Neckbreaker into a face slam
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Rollup
Tyson Kidd b. Percy Watson – Springboard Elbow Drop
Titus O’Neil b. JTG – Clash of the Titus

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NXT – December 14, 2011 – The Love Triangle Continues

NXT
Date: December 14, 2011
Location: RBC Center, Raleigh, North Carolina
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

We’re almost to the end of the year and we’re in the ninth month of this show. This show could have been a whole pregnancy by this point. After last week, it appears we have a second good guy rookie in the form of Derrick Bateman. Given that he’s been one of the most worthless characters in recent memory, that can’t really be a bad thing. Let’s get to it.

If this show is the search for the next breakout star, how dim is this star that it’s taken them this long to find it?

Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins vs. Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu

Reks says the two of them aren’t rookies and they’ll never beg for support from dirty North Carolinians. Trent calls them grumpy and Yoshi tells Reks to wash his hair. That’s the latest chant and according to Striker, it’ll be trending. Just….no. Tyler gets double teamed to start but Yoshi takes too much time on the top and is slammed down. Yoshi gets beaten down by both guys as Striker tries to get Hawkins nickname over as “And 1”.

Not very hot tag brings in Trent who beats on Hawkins and hits a top rope cross body for two. Barretta doesn’t get to be on TV much and has a pretty basic cruiserweight style, but he’s very smooth out there. Speaking of smooth, Trent spins out of what looked like a slam attempt into a rollup on Hawkins for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: C-. Not bad but I’m over Reks and Hawkins. They’re not interesting at all and they keep showing up and talking about how great they used to be. They’re about as low on the heel totem pole as you can get and that’s not a place that I’m interested in watching. I would however like to see more of Barretta. He’s just fun to watch for some reason.

Percy Watson has a talk show now. Let’s get this over with. The subject is the saga of Bateman/Curtis/Maxine. We get a LONG video on the whole thing, concluding with Maxine ending the engagement last week. Here’s Bateman and Percy asks him if there’s anything going on between Bateman and Maxine’s mama. Bateman says that’s insane, just like all women.

Cue Curtis who shows a still of Derrick kissing the finger of Maxine’s mom as it’s against his lips. Curtis talks about how JTG said that he and Maxine left together and that wasn’t true. Cue JTG and Watson asked why he said that. JTG says Curtis paid him to do it. Curtis denies this and JTG leaves. Cue Maxine now who says she’s tired of all this stuff. Bateman: “That girl is so crazy, how can you not want to spend the rest of your life with her?” Curtis: “She doesn’t like you man.” Bateman drops Curtis and leaves. Watson laughs and Curtis goes after him. Striker makes the match for later.

Jey Uso vs. JTG

No Siva Tao which makes me sad. Basic back and forth start as Striker seems to agree with Bateman’s statement that all women are crazy. Josh: “You’re still single right?” Absolutely nothing to talk about in the first few minutes of this. JTG controls with his usual really basic stuff. He’s just not effective as a heel, mainly because he’s nothing special at all as far as a character or from a looks perspective. Jey comes back and hits a superkick for the pin at 3:34.

Rating: D. I love the Usos but man this storyline is dull. JTG is perhaps the least interesting character this side of Derrick Bateman on NXT. That’s the problem with this show. Ok one of many problems with this show: outside of the Usos and at times Titus, no one is anybody I have any interest in watching and rarely are their matches good. The guys that do regularly have good matches (Kidd, Tatsu, Barretta) are rarely on here. This match was boring though and JTG controlled all but like 15 seconds.

Earlier today in Striker’s office (he has an office???) Titus came in to apologize but the challenge to Young is still on. I don’t know why this segment existed.

Slammys recap eats up some time.

Bateman goes up to talk to Maxine and says that before the show is over, he’ll marry her. Curtis comes up after Bateman leaves and kisses her. She tries to slap him but says they’ll get physical after the match.

Percy Watson vs. Johnny Curtis

STRIKER STOLE MY BABY JOKE!!! He said we could have a baby by the end of the season. So Matt Striker thinks like me? I’m not sure I like that. Watson takes over to start and drops a leg for two. Curtis fights back with a single arm suplex for two. Curtis works on the arm a bit and then Percy hits a dropkick to break that up. There’s another and make it three. Jumping clothesline hits but he hurts his arm on it. Never mind though as he hits an overhead belly to belly release. Flipping splash gets two. Curtis gets up and hits a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin at 4:10.

Rating: D. This was another boring match, mainly due to Johnny Curtis being completely uninteresting. He’s done his same uninteresting thing for like a year now and once they got something different about him, the word play thing, they got rid of it as fast as they could so that they could make him as bland as possible again. That’s why I’m so bored by WWE heels anymore: as soon as they get something going, it must be killed before they get over at all.

Titus comes out for his showdown with Young. You know, their at least 8th fight this season. He’s in a suit for this one so maybe this isn’t a match? He apologizes to his sons for not being perfect and losing his cool last week. Young cuts him off, also in street clothes. Titus says he doesn’t have Young’s resume but he’s out here working every week.

Young says he’s just an ex-football player. Titus says this has nothing to do with that and runs down a list of a bunch of ex-football players, like DiBiase Senior, Ron Simmons or Rock. Titus says he’s going to leave and this is done. Young calls him a failure and shoves him. A brawl ends the show. Titus leaves him laying and isn’t happy about it.

Overall Rating: D+. Not one of their better episodes here as the whole thing was about Maxine and Bateman and Curtis and then the showdown was just a talking segment where Titus beats Young down. Hopefully this ends in a loser leaves NXT match and we actually get closer to ending this never ending show. This wasn’t their worst show ever, but it was really quite dull indeed.

Results
Trent Barretta/Yoshi Tatsu b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Rollup to Hawkins
Jey Uso b. JTG – Superkick
Johnny Curtis b. Percy Watson – Falcon’s Arrow

 

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NXT – December 7, 2011 – Bateman’s Face Turn?

NXT
Date: December 7, 2011
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Into December we go with more NXT nonsense. After last week’s shocking, yes SHOCKING I say, ending with Maxine leaving with Johnny Curtis, I think we have a theme for the week. Hopefully we get more Usos and less Bateman this time as I can only take so much of that curly haired lunkhead. Let’s get to it.

The Usos open us up with the Siva Tao. That would be so awesome at a high school football game. They’re here for a match but first do the “We say Us, you say O” deal with the audience and again it gets a solid response. However before we get to the popular tag team that puts on good matches, here’s Bateman to talk about Maxine. The Usos say Tamina lied last week and Bateman runs off.

Usos vs. Tyler Reks/Curt Hawkins

Hawkins vs. Jimmy to start us off and we’re told that Striker and Hawkins are from the same neighborhood. Off to Reks and he has about as much success as Hawkins. We’re told that the Usos both played college football at the University of Hawaii. Stereo clotheslines put the non-relatives on the floor. Reks takes over on I think Jey and knocks him to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Hawkins grabbing a chinlock. Jey fights off as Josh makes fun of Matt’s commentary. A spinning forearm takes down Curt and it’s off to Jimmy. The momentum shifts (or the pendulum has swung for you Monsoon enthusiasts) and Jimmy takes over on Reks. The Umaga corner shot gets two. Reks hits a clothesline and puts on a Torture Rack, but Jimmy comes out with a bulldog for two. The Usos beat down both guys with kicks and a top rope splash pins Reks at 8:35.

Rating: B-. I liked this and if it had a few more minutes it could have been something really good. The Usos are just so far and away better than anyone else in the tag ranks right now and they’re better than most of them on the main shows too. I have no idea why they’re stuck on NXT but that’s WWE for you: keep popular teams away because WWE hasn’t decided we should cheer for them yet.

Bateman is looking for Maxine and runs into Maxine’s mom. She flirts with him and Curtis comes up. Mama Maxine slaps Bateman and implies that he started it. She leaves and Curtis said he didn’t try anything with Maxine. He was with Bateman’s mom last week though. That makes Bateman yell and charge like an idiot but he gets stopped before the beatdown. Does ANYONE care about Derrick Bateman? Seriously?

Tyler Reks/Percy Watson vs. JTG/Darren Young

My goodness this looks boring. Watson vs. JTG to get us going as Striker makes jokes about Maxine’s mama, whose name is “first name” Portia Perez. Now they’re stealing SHIMMER names. Watson and JTG exchange some basic stuff and it’s off to Young, who hits a belly to back suplex on the apron. Back to Jimmy the Gimmick who grabs an odd neckbreaker for two.

JTG slaps on a seated abdominal stretch for awhile and then it’s a chinlock. What a variety. Watson fires off a dropkick to a jumping JTG and Titus finally gets into this after about five and a half minutes. He beats up both guys and hits a shoulderbreaker for two on Young. Tamina gets on the apron as a distraction and Young gets a rollup pin at 6:40. That ending came out of nowhere and was pretty bad.

Rating: D+. Total polar opposite of the opening match with there being nothing interesting here at all. Titus is being wasted in this tag team. They could easily just put him into a Goldberg style character but instead we have to have Darren Young out there to bore everyone out of their minds. I do not get this show at all.

Titus is upset about the loss and talks about the show running for 39 weeks. He said Young doesn’t care about the people and gets booed for it. Titus is booed for it I mean. He issues a challenge for next week against Young, saying it’s about being a man, not Redemption. Here’s the problem: as it stands, there’s nothing on the line about this match/fight. If one of them wins so what? If the other one of them wins so what? That’s the problem with this show.

Video on the WWE Network. I need to look into getting that.

Derrick Bateman vs. Johnny Curtis

We have about 9 minutes for this show. We could be in trouble here people. There’s no Maxine in sight. Bateman is all mad so he gets clotheslined down quickly. Bateman hammers him down in the corner and might be bleeding from the nose a bit. They go to the floor and Bateman misses a dropkick off the apron. He’s holding his arm and I think I heard someone say they were getting the doctor. They go to a break so maybe there’s something to that.

Back with Curtis working on the arm and we’re told that the medics were out checking on Bateman during the break. That’s probably due to the bloody nose though. Curtis works on the arm even more and shouts that he loves all the fans. Bateman fights back and allegedly it’s him showing fire. By fire, they mean a clothesline and a backslide. The fans are openly booing now. Thankfully they pick up on it and Bateman hits his awful falling bulldog for the pin at 7:13.

Rating: D-. Oh just no. I have no idea if this was supposed to be a face turn for Bateman or what, but it didn’t work at all here. The people just do not care at all about these two and their love triangle or whatever shape it is. This was an awful match because the wrestling was horrible and the angle sucked. Turning Bateman face would help him tremendously, but he’ll need more than that.

Maxine comes out post match and yells, asking how he could do that with her mother. The engagement is off. Now the face stuff makes more sense.

Overall Rating: C. This show started off pretty good but the love triangle thing just sucked the life out of it. Bateman turning face out of it is a good thing, but they couldn’t find anyone less dull than Johnny Curtis? That’s a running problem in WWE at the moment: heels suck. Other than on Smackdown where you have Barrett and Henry (who is rapidly losing steam), most of the heels are just dull. Oh and Ziggler is good. Other than that, there’s not much and it’s showing badly. Better show than usual, but nothing to write about.

Results
Usos b. Curt Hawkins/Tyler Reks – Top rope splash to Reks
JTG/Darren Young b. Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil – Rollup to O’Neil
Derrick Bateman b. Johnny Curtis – Falling Bulldog

 

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NXT – November 30, 2011 – The Derrick Bateman Show

NXT
Date: November 30, 2011
Location: Time Warner Cable Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Matt Striker

Time for another week of this. We’re almost in December of a show that started in early March. We’re also approaching the wedding of Maxine and Bateman, which I think is scheduled for late January. This show really is going to last an entire year isn’t it? I was kidding when I suggested that at first. I guess we’re supposed to ignore that all three guys have appeared on Smackdown in the past few weeks right? Let’s get to it.

The song saying that they have just begun scares me.

No Regal this week???

The main event is a triple threat with the rookies and the winner gets a match on Smackdown.

Tyler Reks vs. Percy Watson

Watson has an annoying spoken part before his song now. I’m sorry but he really isn’t on the level that he deserves that yet. Hawkins sits in on commentary. Fast paced start with Watson flying around the place but he walks into a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle for two. Striker says that the money here is way better in the NFL. If my math is right, the minimum salary in the NFL is about a quarter million dollars a year. Methinks Matt is lying.

Watson starts his comeback and hammers away. The fans actually seem to care for him here as a cross body gets two. Hawkins gets up and plays ugly cheerleader, allowing Reks to get in a shot to break the momentum again. Reks goes up for what appears to be a double axe off the top but jumps into a dropkick for the pin at 3:20.

Rating: C-. Just a match here for the most part. It wasn’t bad or anything but it’s kind of hard to get interested in a match like this where there’s no reason at all to see them fight. They’re not fighting for anything but pride so it doesn’t really add up to anything. Watson is fun to watch when he jumps though.

Curtis is hitting on Kaitlyn when Maxine comes up. He has good taste. Kaitlyn is invited back to his bus which Maxine says doesn’t exist. Kaitlyn leaves and Maxine yells because that’s insulting to her to go from Maxine to someone like Kaitlyn. Maxine talks to Curtis and they’re about to kiss but he kisses his fingers and puts them to her lips. She isn’t happy. He leaves and Bateman comes up so she kisses him hard…..with his mother next to him. Bateman leaves and Mama Bateman threatens her with violence if she hurts Bateman.

Yoshi Tatsu/Trent Barretta vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

We get a High Fliers reference from Striker, who swears some people know who he’s talking about. Tatsu vs. Curtis gets us going and there isn’t much going on so they both tag out. Trent winds up in the corner as the announcers aren’t all that interested in the match. Kidd gets two off a kick to the head and hooks in a chinlock. They go up to the corner and Trent mostly misses what we would kind of call a Whisper in the Wind. That sets up the hot tag to Tatsu who beats up ever heel in sight. He tries to fire up the crowd and it doesn’t work at all. The top rope spinwheel kick misses and Curtis hits a sitout brainbuster for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D. Just dull again here as Curtis is as uninteresting of a guy as I’ve seen in years. A sitout brainbuster isn’t an interesting move at all and that fits perfectly. At least with the diving legdrop it looked ok. Nothing to see here and for the life of me I don’t get why he keeps a job, especially with some of the other people they could put on this show.

We get the entire Piper’s Pit from Monday. It still doesn’t quite work as the fans didn’t boo Cena. It eats up about 10 minutes though which is ten minutes of NXT stuff I don’t have to watch.

Maxine vs. Alicia Fox

Matthews asks Striker to compare the offensive styles here….and somehow he does it. For the life of me I don’t get why the Divas are on TV all the time. Alicia uses a lot of moves involving her flexibility which get her nowhere. Bateman and Mama Bateman come out to watch. Maxine sees them and panics a bit, allowing Alicia to hit the Axe Kick for the win at 2:24.

Derrick Bateman vs. Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young

Young waits on the floor as Titus beats Bateman up. He slides in and chops away (WOO) so Titus pounds him down also. Young continues his Flair impersonation and is slammed off the top for two. After a break for a bad Cena movie, the heels are double teaming Titus. As is custom, they get in a fight of their own, allowing Titus to fight back. Young hits a clothesline for two on O’Neil.

The heels fight a bit more and I’m trying to care. I mean I really am trying, but it’s just not going to happen at all. Bateman goes up and gets crotched and it’s a TOWER OF DOOM!!! They actually call it that and it’s a wicked one too. Titus can’t get the pin on Young so he grabs the rope like Batista and yells a lot. Young and O’Neil fight to the apron and Young takes him down with a neckbreaker. Bateman grabs O’Neil as he comes back in for the pin at 8:49.

Rating: C-. Pretty dull stuff here and my goodness why would it be Bateman? I mean, it couldn’t be clearer that O’Neil is the class of this group but instead their answer is try to make it seem like a competition. I don’t know who thinks this is interesting to watch, but it’s really not working at all. Boring match to end a boring show.

Post match Bateman wants Maxine to come out but he gets JTG and Tamina instead. They say she left with Curtis. Oh joy.

Overall Rating: D. It was an hour long and it was the Derrick Bateman Show tonight. I have no idea why they’re choosing to push him but that’s all they seem to think is the right idea. Titus is a guy that could be an interesting character on one of the big shows but it just isn’t happening here. Bad show.

Results
Percy Watson b. Tyler Reks – Dropkick
Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis b. Yoshi Tatsu/Trent Barretta – Sitout Brainbuster to Tatsu
Alicia Fox b. Maxine – Axe Kick
Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young – Pinned O’Neil after a neckbreaker from Young

 

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NXT – November 23, 2011 – Same Old Stuff Here

NXT
Date: November 23, 2011
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Matt Striker, William Regal

It’s the Thanksgiving week show and the show is somehow back up to three finalists. Only this show could go from two finalists to three to two to three again and take a few months to do so. This is the 38th episode of the season, putting this on the verge of being as long as the first three seasons combined. I thought just the third was ridiculous but this passed that long ago. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Young to open the show with I believe new music. We get a clip of Young beating up O’Neil and his finisher is called the Gut Check. It’s the fireman’s carry into a double knee to the ribs. Young says this is his show and wants to know where the people were last week when he beat O’Neil down. Is there a difference between being beaten up and being beaten down? He says his usual stuff about how he’s done a ton of stuff and how O’Neil hasn’t done anything.

Cue Reks and Hawkins of all people who say that the only thing Young accomplished was jumping Titus, which they’ve done a bunch of times. They’re impressed with Young and say they’re very similar. They think he has the It Factor but here are O’Neil and Watson. They make fun of Reks’ lack of charisma and cut Young off. Titus talks about getting eliminated a year ago in this town but he’s back to show his agenda. There’s the brawl but Striker makes O’Neil/Watson vs. Reks/Young.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Johnny Curtis

Bateman and Maxine are on commentary for no apparent reason. We talk about the wedding and then realize that’s stupid so we talk about Johnny Curtis. That makes it stupider so let’s talk about the wedding again. Regal offers to explain the misery of being married, since he’s been married 16 times. Regal talks about Bateman’s mother in law and implies sex. He even admits they’re ignoring the match. Can’t fault him for lying.

Curtis goes to the apron for a slingshot legdrop and shakes his hips at Maxine. Regal: “I think that was for me. At my age you have to take what you can get.” Suplex gets two for Curtis. Bateman makes another joke about Curtis and Maxine dating so they walk off. The wedding is in eight weeks, which I guess means we’ll be here until January. Yoshi fires off the chops and a spinwheel kick puts Johnny down. The top rope spinwheel kick ends this at 4:35.

Rating: C. This was fine. Yoshi is a solid hand while Curtis….well he’s Johnny Curtis. That should summarize this match as well as I can put it together. Not much to see here but it advances Bateman vs. Curtis I guess because we need to see it right? Not much to see here but Yoshi’s stuff is always fun to see.

Bateman goes to the ring post match but doesn’t attack Curtis.

Maxine and Bateman argue more in the back about what Curtis did during the date. She cancels sex until future notice. Curtis comes in and implies Maxine wants him.

Here are the Usos who do their dance before their promo. Jimmy talks about being nervous every time they come out here. They represent every Samoan ever in wrestling history. Jey talks about people like Yokozuna, the Wild Samoans, Umaga (didn’t expect to hear that name) and Rikishi. They talk about how Uso means brother but saying Us (pronounced Oos) can mean friend, close person, etc. They start a call and response chant with the audience of we say Us, you say O, which gets a surprisingly strong response. The fans like these guys.

This brings out JTG and Tamina, who says this isn’t about heritage because she’s an independent woman. Let’s have a match.

JTG vs. Jimmy Uso

Jimmy knocks him to the floor quickly so he can glare at Tamina a bit. Off to a chinlock by JTG as we list off the huge Samoan family tree. Stinger style splash in the corner hits JTG and there’s the running him smash in the corner, which is credited to Rikishi but it’s an Umaga move I believe. A superkick and frog splash are enough for the pin at 3:50.

Rating: C-. Why are the Usos on NXT? The fans like them, they’re decent in the ring, they have a gimmick, and they’re on NXT. I have no idea what the thought of this company is about them, but they’re more than good enough to be something on one of the main shows, but they’re not getting that at all here. It’s WWE I guess.

Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young/Tyler Reks

Young vs. Watson gets us going. My goodness what a difference a gimmick change makes for Watson. O’Neil comes in and Young runs. He’s now the Big Deal Titus O’Neil. Reks talks trash so Titus hammers him in the face. This goes on for awhile until Watson comes in and cleans house. The heels go to the floor so Percy dives onto them as we take a break. Back with Titus getting two on Reks off a move we don’t see.

Back to Watson who doesn’t do as well. We talk about Bateman getting a Smackdown contract and we hear about how this season is about getting to one of the main shows. So at least there’s no talk of season 6. Regal talks about WWE 12. “I HAVE ABS!!!” Young hooks a chinlock on Watson to eat up some time. Gordbuster gets two for Reks. There’s your double tag to Young and O’Neil but Hawkins throws in the cane, so that the Gut Check can end Titus at 11:00.

Rating: D+. Boring main event here with neither team being interesting in being out there it seems. We have a heel team now I guess which is fine, but I’ll spare you the drill here on “but where is this going”. We’ve been past that for a very long time and there’s no point in saying it all the time. Too long of a main event though.

Overall Rating: D+. Pretty ho-hum stuff tonight with not much going on of note. This was more of a show about advancing the existing storylines rather than adding anything new to the mix. In other words, if you liked the rest of the storylines, you’ll like this. Nothing to see here for the most part though and it wasn’t much of a show.

Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Johnny Curtis – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Jimmy Uso b. JTG – Frog Splash
Darren Young/Tyler Reks b. Percy Watson/Tyler Reks – Gut Check to O’Neil

 

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NXT – November 16, 2011 – Darren Freaking Young Is Back

NXT
Date: November 15, 2011
Location: Webster Bank Arena, Bridgeport, Connecticut
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re back in America for this week and we’re rapidly approaching the time needed to have a full pregnancy with this season. There’s still no talk of eliminating anyone or anything like that and I’m sure we’re leading up to a wedding or some jazz like that. Also we’ll have more Johnny Curtis matches to suck the life out of all that is good and pure in the world. Let’s get to it.

The opening video includes Young in the list of finalists. Oh give me a break.

Watson and O’Neil are in the ring to start the show. Waton introduces O’Neil and Titus barks. There are leather chairs in the ring so this looks like a talk show segment. Titus says this show has been long with people coming and going. However he’s been one of the constants and after being eliminated last year, he’s following the light to being the next WWE Breakout Star.

Cue Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins who I guess are back together again. Reks thinks Titus has been here two months. This season has been going on for 9 months now so I guess math isn’t Reks’ strong suit. Hawkins says O’Neil has no heart. O’Neil gets fired up and says he’s earned his way here (I’d ask for a refund) and he isn’t going to listen to these guys talk down to him.

This brings out Bateman. “Worst show ever!” PREACH IT BROTHER!!! O’Neil and Watson make fun of Bateman and Maxine with fish noises included. Now we get fish jokes and a brawl breaks out. Striker says calm down and makes Reks vs. O’Neil for the main event. Bateman vs….someone but he won’t turn around to listen to Striker. It’s Bateman vs. Watson.

Percy Watson vs. Derrick Bateman

O’Neil sits in on commentary here. Watson controls to start and pounds on Bateman which doesn’t mean much. Derrick is sent to the floor as Regal talks about Maxine being able to yodel with a dinner plate in her mouth. You can’t say Regal is boring. Percy asks Regal to coach them but he says they don’t have enough of a mean streak. Bateman and Titus yell at each other and Watson makes his comeback. Spinning splash gets two. Persecution (the fireman’s carry into a pancake) ends this at 4:14.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and really was more of a live workout for Watson. I have no idea what the company sees in Bateman but it’s not his in ring abilities. The guy is so average and bland and would never stand out in a crowd at all and I think I just answered my own question.

Maxine is flipping through a wedding magazine and Johnny Curtis comes up to hit on her. He wants things to be like they used to be and puts his hand under her chin like he’s going to kiss her. She moves it away and says she invented this game. Maxine had no idea Bateman had a match. She says she doesn’t need his help and slaps him. So are they engaged now too?

Yoshi Tatsu vs. JTG

JTG has Tamina with him again. The crowd is SILENT when the bell rings. The announcers talk about England to try to avoid the match. A neckbreaker gets two for JTG and it’s off to the exact same half nelson that Bateman used earlier. Is that a required move to use anymore? Regal talks about meeting the French inventor of the sandal: Fillipe Fillop. That’s how boring this match is: that line was amusing by comparison. Yoshi starts his comeback but Tamina distracts him. JTG throws him into the post and a rollup ends this at 4:08.

Rating: D. So now we’re pushing JTG. I think we’ve officially run out of ideas here. Tamina and JTG are the newest heel couple or whatever and I know I’ve said this time after time, but at what point does this end at? What is the point of having anything happen on this show because there aren’t any titles to fight for and the “pros” are here just because no one else wants them. Let’s just get this over with.

Raw Rebound eats up some time by showing the end of Raw for about ten minutes. The Rock schilling Twitter is still annoying.

The Usos run into JTG/Tamina and the twins are left standing there with nothing being said. JTG and Tamina keep walking and run into Bateman who is looking for Maxine. We stay on Bateman who runs into Curtis and asks where she is. Maxine pops up and they get in an argument over where she was during his match. I have no idea what the point of this is. Bateman gets on the phone and calls for Teddy Long. Ok then.

Titus O’Neil vs. Tyler Reks

Power battle to start as Titus hammers him down to take over. They head to the floor and Hawkins gets involved. He also gets punched down by Watson, making both of them get ejected. After a break we’re back with Tyler in control due to ramming O’Neil into the railing during the break. Reks hammers on him more with really basic stuff. This is a boring match so far. Off to that same quarter/half nelson which we’ve seen in both matches so far. Titus hits a backdrop to put Tyler down and hammers away. Clash of the Titus and we’re done at 7:20. It was as abrupt as it sounded.

Rating: D-. No. One. Cares. I mean no one cares at all. Why is this supposed to be an interesting main event? Reks hasn’t been around in almost a month and now he’s still around doing the whole “it’s my show” thing? Horrible dull match which is a perfect way to end a horribly dull show. Also the ending was identical to the one that Crimson beat Pope with on Impact. I mean the EXACT same thing.

Post match…..oh you have got to be kidding me. DARREN FREAKING YOUNG is back to beat down Titus.

Overall Rating: F. This show SUCKED. JTG is getting a singles push and the main event is the same thing we’ve seen a dozen times now. The ten minutes of Rock vs. Cena is annoying on top of that as it’s just more I have to fast forward through because I watched it two days ago. On top of that, Darren Young is back. WHY DOES HE HAVE A JOB??? This was one of the worst shows they’ve had in a very long time.

Results

Percy Watson b. Derrick Bateman – Persecution
JTG b. Yoshi Tatsu – Rollup
Titus O’Neil b. Tyler Reks – Clash of the Titus

 

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NXT – November 9, 2011 – I’ve Seen Graveyards More Alive Than This Crowd

NXT
Date: November 9, 2011
Location: Liverpool Echo Arena, Liverpool, England
Commentators: Jack Korpela, Matt Striker

We’re in England this week so expect a few Regal chants. I’ve actually lost count of the number of weeks we’ve had now and frankly I don’t care. This is going to hit a year I believe and I wouldn’t be surprised if it did. Darren Young is eligible for his return now and I hope they release him before he makes said return. It’s not like he offers anything to the company anyway. Let’s get to it.

Striker is in the ring with Bateman, Watson, O’Neil and Maxine. He says two of the rookie finalists which implies there may be more, which scares me to death. Bateman says Maxine is beautiful and they make out. O’Neil makes fish jokes and for the love of goodness, EXPLAIN WHAT IT MEANS. I know the joke, but if you’re going to say it over and over again you may want to point that out more than once.

Striker says he’s been keeping an eye on the rookies and judging them. This brings out Johnny Curtis of all people. He says the show sucks anymore and Titus wants to fight him. It’s implied and confirmed that Curtis and Maxine went out before. The main event of Watson/O’Neil vs. Bateman/Curtis is made. Oh joy.

There’s an article on WWE.com on why Rock and Cena could make a good tag team. That needs an whole article? IT’S ROCK AND CENA!

Wait why isn’t Regal on commentary? Hopefully he’s wrestling on a Raw house show.

Tyson Kidd vs. Trent Barretta

I’d be perfectly fine with Barretta getting more TV time on this show. They go to the mat quickly and Matt says Kidd is complaining about being bastardized by the WWE. Striker makes fun of Maxine for being a less than scrupulous and is having a good time on commentary. We hear a voice I don’t think we’re supposed to hear as this match isn’t all that interesting. It’s fine but I have no reason to care about these guys.

Tyson works the arm as Striker gives us a brief history of the Hart Dungeon. The announcers get into a debate about recording stuff on tape/Betamax etc and Jack says you watch NXT on WWE.com. Without missing a beat, Striker: “Who does that?” I love lines like that. They’ve been on the mat for the most part until a Trent clothesline puts Tyson on the floor.

Trent is launched into the post and we take a break. Back with them in the ring and Tyson holding a dragon sleeper. Off to a chinlock as the announcers mainly ignore the match. At least with this it’s a nothing match and they’re not talking about any individual thing. Jack asks if the challenges and point stuff is still going on and Matt says it’s a week to week thing. Trent takes over with a top rope cross body for two. A shot in the corner gets the same.

He tries a tornado DDT but Tyson hits a SWEET spin kick to take over. Brainbuster gets two. Back to the floor and Trent avoids a charge into the barricade. Barretta busts out a Whisper in the Wind off said barricade and both guys are down. Back in there’s a slingshot elbow for two. They go to the corner but Kidd manages to drop Trent on his head/neck as Trent tries a top rope rana and a one leg Liontamer ends this at 11:23.

Rating: B-. Good match here with both guys getting time to make things work. I really like Barretta and would love to see him get more time. The guy puts on decent matches every time he’s out there and this was no exception. I’d love to see an NXT Title and let guys do things like this every week on it. That Whisper in the Wind was pretty awesome. Check this match out if you have about 12 minutes to kill. It’s pretty good.

Bateman is yelling about Maxine dating Curtis. Curtis comes up and implies Maxine is bad in bed.

JTG hits on Tamina when the Usos come up to tell him to get lost. She doesn’t like them interfering so they say Santino is better than JTG. She’s going to be in JTG’s corner tonight.

Jimmy Uso vs. JTG

Jimmy doesn’t get an entrance so we don’t get the dance thing that I can’t spell. Jimmy controls to start so JTG makes fun of the war dance. Uso means brother in Samoan. That name makes much more sense now. The match is nothing special so far. Jimmy goes up but Tamina distracts him so JTG hits a dropkick, sending him to the floor. JTG hits a faceplant out of the corner for two as we talk about Survivor Series.

Matt asks Jack for his picks for Survivor Series and Jack has NOTHING. Matt even makes fun of him for it and it’s actually a bit embarrassing. Then again so is JTG and he keeps his job. Let’s keep the camera on Tamina for about 10 seconds now. It’s clear neither guy has anything to talk about as Jimmy takes over. The top rope splash ends this at 5:22.

Rating: C-. So? I’ll spare you the rant about how this show is so boring and all that jazz, but this was boring as usual. JTG is a guy that isn’t intimidating as a heel at all. He’s supposed to be a fun character and I don’t get the point in making him a heel for so long. It’s not like his status means anything. Weak match with a pointless angle tacked on.

Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman/Johnny Curtis

My stars what a dull heel team. We’ve got like 6 minutes left in this show so we’re not going to have much here. Watson starts with Bateman and speeds things up quickly. Off to Curtis who doesn’t do much better. Off to O’Neil and I’ve seen funeral processions more excited than this crowd. Bateman sends Percy’s back into the post to take over. We talk about Curtis being an orphan to fill in air time. La Parka of all people is referenced by Striker. Jack: “No one knows who you’re talking about.” There’s the double tag and even Titus can’t wake the crowd up. Clash of the Titus is broken up and a High/Low ends Titus at 4:40.

Rating: D. This was horribly uninteresting. They did their thing but a lot of the problems were due to the lack of time. Well that and Curtis being the least interesting guy I can remember in a very long time. Nothing to see here and the show itself as a whole was the same. Wow this was bad.

Overall Rating: D+. The opener was good but the rest was just DULL. I haven’t heard a crowd this dead since the last time I was in a cemetery. Totally boring show and I don’t know if it was them being tired from the flight or what, but this was as bad as this show has been (save for the good opener) in a long time. Either end the show or get it back to America IMMEDIATELY.

Results
Tyson Kidd b. Trent Barretta – One Leg Boston Crab
Jimmy Uso b. JTG – Top Rope Splash
Johnny Curtis/Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson – High/Low to O’Neil

 

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NXT – November 2, 2011 – Walking Around In Circles

NXT
Date: November 2, 2011
Location: BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: William Regal, Jack Korpela

We’re approaching a full term pregnancy here as we’re in I think week 35 or so. Darren Young can come back from suspension next week but I don’t think he’ll be returning. The show seems like it’s trying to come back to the way things used to be but it’s really not working. It was a lot better when there were random matches going on instead of ones like there used to be. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about the proposal and acceptance from last week with Bateman and Maxine. It’s as stupid as it sounds, complete with a bad love song playing in the background.

Here’s JTG to open the show. He brings out Bateman and Maxine, who wears a lot of REALLY not-PG outfits. Maxine insists the name is BetaMax. I give up. Bateman says he wants to do this right, so he drops to his knee and gives her a ring which is “what 38 weeks of being an NXT Rookie can buy.” He hasn’t been here 38 weeks but whatever.

This brings out Watson, O’Neil and AJ. They really do look good in the suits. Maxine is fishless, whatever that means. Now we’re talking about Fraggle Rock. No one gets the joke, myself included. Bateman sends them away because this is an engagement party and they’re not invited. The girls get into a “you’re uglier than me” contest so O’Neil implies that Maxine’s father is here to make this formal. Titus pulls out a fish. Regal: “He’s doing that just for the halibut.” There are a ton of fish jokes and that’s the best of them all. Titus starts singing Under the Sea when Striker comes out and makes the six man tag main event.

Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Johnny Curtis

Hawkins is suspended so Curtis is back on NXT as the sub. The winners of those shows can’t catch a break. Kidd vs. let’s say Jey starts us off. The twins take over on Kidd and Jimmy gets two off an elbow. Jey gets the same off a chop. No Curtis in yet, meaning the collective snoring hasn’t started. Oh there he is. For the life of me I don’t get what they saw in him. He’s so bland and cookie-cutter looking I don’t know how he could get more uninteresting.

Back to Kidd as apparently Curtis isn’t even going to grace us with his presence. Thank goodness for that. If I sound a bit incoherent here, you can blame the slight cold I have or Curtis’ ability to suck all the charisma out of a match. The Usos go up but heel double teaming takes them right back down. We take a break and come back with Curtis working on Jey’s knee which may have been hurt coming off the top.

Kidd comes in again as I guess even Curtis is bored by his own work. Back to Boring Man who hits a slingshot legdrop to Jey’s knee. Here’s a leg lock as this match has somehow only been going about 7 minutes including the break. Jey finally sends Kidd to the floor as as we talk about Killer Kowalski. There’s the tag and everything breaks down. The Usos head to the floor where they launch Kidd into the barricade in a cool looking move. Back inside a Samoan Drop followed by a Superfly Splash ends Curtis at 8:47.

Rating: C-. The tag matches here used to be good but I guess they’re just getting boring to me now. The Curtis factor didn’t help things out here either. The problem at the end of the day is the that the Usos are flat out better than any other team and we can only see these guys fight for the sake of fighting so many times before it loses all meaning. I think we hit that six weeks ago.

Raw ReBound. The Sheamus/Beaker thing still makes me smile. There are some deleted scenes in this.

Kaitlyn and AJ chat about the wedding. Can we just look at Kaitlyn for 50 minutes instead?

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Rematch from last week, which isn’t nearly as competitive was Korpela wants you to think it was. Regal makes jokes about having an affair with a dwarf. I don’t have any idea what it has to do with this match but it’s funny. Kaitlyn gets more offense in the first 30 seconds than she had all last week. Korpela calls Tamina’s dad (Jimmy Snuka) a Hall of Flamer. The crowd is dead for this. Tamina hammers away and it’s off to a chinlock.

At least we can look at Kaitlyn in those shorts of hers. Jack tries to say that the Divas Division is awesome right now and I begin to chuckle at him. Kaitlyn hits that old classic attack known as WHAT A MANEUVER (modified Side Effect) for the pin at 5:10. Again, can we just look at her for the rest of the show?

Rating: D+. These matches suck. That’s really all there is to say about it. I know Kaitlyn looks good, but is there really any need to have her wrestle? That’s one of the things that suck the time out of a Raw or Smackdown: the Divas matches. They’re not entertaining and most of the time they suck, yet they get a few minutes a week.

AJ/Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. Derrick Bateman/JTG/Maxine

The Fascinating Fact this week: the black sheep of Maxine’s family is an unsavory bishop from the island of Butte, who owns a combined toilet factory who in his spare time sends full tapes of Shetland ponies to people. I think that was a play on words joke but I’m not sure. The girls start us off and Maxine is ticked off. AJ hits a jumping armdrag and things speed up. Maxine rolls to the floor after a spinwheel kick.

Off to JTG vs. Watson now and the good guys take over. Titus gets two off a clothesline and it’s back to Watson. Regal asks a good question: why do you need to dance about when you can hit someone in the mouth? Bateman hits a dropkick thanks to a Maxine distraction as we’re running out of time in a hurry. Jimmy the Gimmick hooks on a chinlock and then hooks a Regal Cutter of all things. Even Regal points that one out.

The announcers talk about how long this season has been. Even they don’t know when it’s ending. Somehow Regal turns this into a metaphor involving a hamster on a skateboard. You can’t say he’s typical. Off to O’Neil and everything breaks down. Clash of the Titus ends Bateman at 6:35.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match or anything, but this match sums up the problem with this season of NXT: Titus can beat Bateman. I looked it up and in this season, that is the 6th time O’Neil or O’Neil’s team has beaten Bateman or Bateman’s team. What in the world is there left for these two to prove? Nothing, but they keep the season going anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. I just don’t care anymore. When things were all going insane it was fun, but we’re going in circles on this show. Titus and the Usos dominate whoever they face, Bateman does nothing of interest and AJ still doesn’t like Maxine. That’s all we’ve seen for the last two months, but it never goes anywhere at all. I don’t get it, but I’m not WWE I guess. It’s not horrible, but it’s more boring than bad.

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NXT – October 26, 2011 – I Still Like This Show

NXT
Date: October 26, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

We’re past Vengeance now and there are actually signs that some things are starting to wrap up on this show. I can’t say I’d be complaining, as this show is almost the length of a full term pregnancy at this point. Anyway, according to the card that I’ve seen we might have four matches on here which almost has to be a record for this show. Let’s get to it.

At least they’re trying to make it look like this show is still coherent by not changing the opening credits.

We open with Bateman, JTG, Maxine, O’Neil and Watson in the ring. O’Neil makes fun of Maxine and calls her a dolphin or something. It’s time for the Talk the Talk Challenge. Bateman goes first and talks about football and the Cowboys, who are mostly booed. He makes fun of Titus’ trunks. This is pretty weak. Titus says the trunks are for breast cancer awareness because he lost two grandmothers to it. He says he’s awesome and that Bateman won’t stop him from winning this competition. O’Neil wins with ease.

Titus issues a challenge of his own. He and Watson make fun of Maxine and JTG and a brawl breaks out. Two singles matches are made.

Percy Watson vs. JTG

The fans start booing loudly for some reason at the start of the match but nothing has happened yet. Regal buries the talking skills of both guys as Watson takes it to the mat. Watson knocks him to the floor and we take a break with JTG clubbering him. Back with Watson in control again and getting two off some punches. Out to the floor again with JTG hitting a running clothesline that gets two back in the ring.

Off to some choking and we hear that JTG has been in the WWE for about six years. That doesn’t seem possible to me for some reason. It still makes me smile when I think of people saying he was going to be something once Cryme Tyme broke up. Off to a chinlock as Regal keeps burying the challenge. JTG goes up but jumps into a facebuster to put both guys down. Watson takes over and hits a clothesline and the spinning splash for two. The fireman’s carry into the pancake (called the Persecution) ends this at 6:47.

Rating: D+. Technically it was fine but there was nothing to this at all. Percy’s name isn’t doing him any favors as it makes me think of one of the trains from Thomas the Tank Engine from when I was a kid. JTG continues to be boring and the match was nothing to see at all other than just a long squash.

Hawkins is ranting about his injury and Striker comes up with a suspension due to something related to the walkout. No idea what that’s about. Nor do I particularly care.

The Muppets are coming to Raw. I’m going to get bashed for this, but I haven’t been more excited for a show in YEARS. No sarcasm or joke there at all.

Jey Uso vs. Tyson Kidd

Hawkins is with Kidd here for some reason. Regal talks about Kidd spending the past week in Calgary training with Bret on a rolling Indian Deathlock. Cool sounding move. Uso takes over quickly and puts Kidd in the Tree of Woe for two. Kidd comes back as we compare Harts vs. Samoans. Korpela brings up a good question: if Hawkins is suspended, why is he at ringside?

Tyson hammers away and hooks a chinlock. Regal says he’s the darling of Twitter. My goodness it’s nice to not hear about trending topics for once. Alley-Us doesn’t work so Jey kicks him in the face instead. The Superfly Splash hits knees though and a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker ends this at 4:33.

Rating: C. Pretty decent match from guys that are actually good in the ring when they get to be in it. Kidd is a good guy to push as the NXT Champion when it finally is introduced. Nothing too bad here and it’s fun to see two young guys out there getting a chance to have some fun. More time would have helped though, but it is just NXT.

Tatsu makes the save from a post match beatdown. We’re waiting on the six man I guess.

Ad for Cena vs. Rock which really is going to be huge. I know that’s a really obvious statement but it’s starting to sink in just how big this match is.

Raw ReBound eats up a few minutes. The announcement would have been a bit better if it hadn’t been told to us at the end of Vengeance.

Rock will make his decision on Raw.

AJ and Kaitlyn talk in the back. Kaitlyn talks about how she’s going to destroy Tamina. Tamina pops up behind her and Kaitlyn knows she’s there. This is stupid but that goes without saying.

Kaitlyn vs. Tamina

Kaitlyn is the hometown girl. Not that we’re told that but I guess it’s implied. Tamina hits a superkick to kill Kaitlyn for two. Tamina beats her down as this is a very dull Divas match so far. That covers a lot of ground too. Tamina goes for a fireman’s carry and Kaitlyn gets her only move of the match with a sunset flip for the pin at 2:58. This was as boring as it sounds.

Derrick Bateman vs. Titus O’Neil

AJ is on commentary because….eh who cares she’s cute. AJ lists off reasons why Maxine isn’t nice, including she’s wicked. I want AJ to call me wicked. Maxine sits in on commentary as well. The girls get into an argument of course and Regal says go ahead and fight. AJ: “Fun fact about Maxine: she feeds off the souls of babies.” Maxine suggests AJ was caught between a midget leprechaun and a large black man in pink underwear that barks like a dog in some very non-PG positions.

Bateman slides to the floor to talk to Maxine and then hits a big dive on Titus when he comes out to see him. Bateman hammers away back in the ring and it’s off to a chinlock. This is all about the commentary and to be fair it’s far more interesting. Regal talks about the match and he’s just outnumbered. The couple’s name is BetaMax. I give up. O’Neil misses something from the ropes and Bateman rolls him up for the pin at 4:40.

Rating: D. The match sucked but the commentary was hilarious. I love shows like these where the announcers know no one important is listening and can have some fun on the commentary. That’s what NXT is good at and it’s far better than listening to Cole talking about Twitter 100 times an hour.

Post match, Bateman proposes to Maxine (Regal: “I think I might start self-harming.”) and gets slapped. Then he gets kissed. O’Neil covering AJ’s eyes on the floor is pretty funny. Maxine says yes. There’s your main angle for three weeks. They hug and Maxine looks like she’s in big trouble.

Overall Rating: C-. If there was a rating between this and D+ it would get that. It’s not really bad but there’s nothing to see here. Again it’s playing out like a low level old school indy company. That’s a fun thing to see because they know they’ve got nothing to lose so why not just have fun out there? That’s a great attitude to have and when you stop taking things so seriously in wrestling, you can have a much more entertaining show at times. This wasn’t their best, but I like watching this show for that laid back feeling to it.

Results
Titus O’Neil won the Talk the Talk Challenge
Percy Watson b. JTG – Persecution
Tyson Kidd b. Jey Uso – Spinning Fisherman’s Neckbreaker
Kaitlyn b. Tamina – Sunset Flip
Derrick Bateman b. Titus O’Neil – Rolling Cradle

 

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NXT – October 19, 2011 – Still Chasing Its Own Tail

NXT
Date: October 19, 2011
Location: Mexican Sports Palace, Mexico City, Mexico
Commentators: Jack Korpela, William Regal

Obviously we’re in Mexico now and we only have two people left. The Young suspension may be a blessing in disguise as it might give them an opening to round out this season after the thirty two weeks they’ve had so far. After last week there aren’t any major loose ends that need to be tied up so maybe there’s a means to an end now. Let’s get to it.

We start in the ring….WITH A CHALLENGE??? Striker has a rope and there are flags around the ring ropes (not the one Striker is holding). It’s a capture the flag challenge. There are only O’Neil and Bateman left. This is worth 15 points to really make sure we make the rest of the challenges before this worthless by comparison. They both have on weightlifting belts and there’s a rope attached on their backs. Whoever can get the most flags wins. And after about 15 seconds Bateman jumps Titus and leaves him laying. Titus wins and the main event tonight is Titus/Percy vs. Bateman and whoever Bateman picks.

Tyler Reks vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Hawkins is limping to the rings with Reks. Reks and Hawkins complain about the injury and Reks sounds nothing like his looks would make you expect. Reks overpowers him to start so Tatsu chops away. Yoshi snaps off a spinwheel kick to take over so Reks, being a modern WWE heel, hides. Reks takes over again and the fans don’t seem all that impressed by him.

An O’Connor Roll doesn’t work for Tatsu and Reks works on the back a bit. Tatsu responds by hitting a big kick to the head…and never mind as Reks beats him down all over again. Yoshi dodges a charge and Reks’ shoulder hits the post. That allows Tatsu to go up top for the spinwheel kick and the pin at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here but it was fine. This was very basic as they were keeping things simple, primarily due to there only being about 4 and a half minutes to work with. Tatsu’s new look hasn’t meant much of anything, but at least he’s not talking about an action figure anymore.

Post match Reks and Hawkins beat down Tatsu but the Usos make the save. I smell a 6 man.

AJ has a note in the back when Kaitlyn comes in. It’s from Horny and he says leaving is the best decision he ever made. Kaitlyn says it’s from Maxine. Kaitlyn, who looks a lot worse with light blonde hair, fights Maxine next.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Both of them look good but Kaitlyn looks better with darker hair. She has great legs though. Maxine is in essence in a swimsuit. Here’s your Maxine fact: her aunt is a careless maiden from Guadalajara who is engaged to a one legged Elvis impersonator who does a great version of Blue Suede Shoes. The match is your usual basic stuff here that isn’t very good.

Maxine hooks something like a dragon sleeper but Kaitlyn falls into the ropes. The fans here do not care at all. All Maxine so far but I’d rather look at Kaitlyn in gold so I’m not paying attention to the match here. Kaitlyn takes over with her horrible looking offense. She hits a Bubba Bomb and then a full nelson with her legs to make Maxine tap (with her foot) out at 4:48.

Rating: D. It’s your usual bad Divas match and more proof that AJ was the best choice for the 3rd season winner. Kaitlyn looks great in tight gold shorts and other than that, she’s about as worthless as anyone else you’re going to find on the roster. Not much here overall and the girls just aren’t that good. Granted this is on NXT so it’s not like anyone is watching them.

Video on how insane Raw has been lately and how its been in chaos, even dating back to Punk winning the title at MITB. This eats up like five minutes.

Kidd turns down Bateman to be his partner. Maxine comes up to yell at him for not being here. She leaves and JTG comes up to agree to be his partner. Oh my.

Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. JTG/Derrick Bateman

Bateman vs. Watson gets us going and Watson shows off a bit. We go to the mat with a headlock as Regal explains exactly where the arm is supposed to be for it to hurt the most. Leave it to an old villain to know that. There’s a double tag and JTG gets his head kicked off. That was a nice touch because I don’t like JTG. O’Neil has black and pink on for breast cancer awareness. That’s always cool.

The good guys double team JTG for awhile and rule the ring as we take a break. Back with Bateman hammering away on Watson which doesn’t work all that well for him. They head to the floor and Bateman hits a missile dropkick off the apron which gets two back in the ring. Off to JTG again who hammers away a bit more. A spinning neckbreaker gets two. Watson tries to fight back and the fans react to it.

This match has somehow been going on for ten minutes. It’s one of those matches where nothing has been going on at all but it’s been happening if that makes sense. Titus finally gets the hot tag that we know has been coming for awhile now. Bateman breaks up the pin but misses a top rope cross body. Clash of the Titus ends this at 10:41.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty boring but the problem with it is that it summarizes the main problem that these guys are having anymore: there is no reason at all for these matches to take place. If we’re just waiting around for the end of the show and the matches don’t really count towards records or standings or anything, what’s the point? I mean, how many times can O’Neil pin Bateman before it stops meaning anything? I think that’s the question they’re trying to answer.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a horrible show but at the same time it reiterates the same issue I just went into: this show is chasing its own tail. We’re no closer to finding a winner of this competition than we were two months ago and the only thing that has really changed is that Young is gone and that’s not even because of the show but rather him being Wellnessed. Young will be able to return in about two and a half weeks and he’ll probably be brought back and we’ll be right back where we were two weeks ago. Such is the life of NXT I guess.

Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyler Reks – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Full Nelson Leglock
Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson b. JTG/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Bateman

 

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